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The Ubyssey Feb 18, 1931

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 Issued Twice Wee\ly by the Students' Publications Board of The University of British Columbia.
VOL. XIII.
VANCOUVER, B.C., FEBRUARY 18th, 1931
No. 29
Final Try-Outs
Decide Cast
For Play
PLAYERS' CLUB TO PRESENT
COMEDY, "THE YOUNG IDEA"
AT THE final try-outs for parts
in the Players' Club spring play
all parts but four were assigned.
The try-outs took place on Monday,
February 9 in the Auditorium, leading roles being assigned to Dorothy
McKelvie, Nancy Symes, Margery
Ellis, and William Cameron.
The play is Noel Coward's brilliant
comedy, "The Voung Idea," and is
concerned with the attempts of the
modern generation to straighten out
the affairs of their much-divorced parents. The parts of Gerda and Sholto
are to be taken by Margery Ellis and
Alf Evans, understudied by Betty
Wilson and Jack Sargent. Their father is played by William Cameron;
understudy, Tom Groves. His first
wife, Jennifer, has been assigned to
Dorothy McKelvie; understudy, Alice
Morrow; his second, Cicely, will be
taken by Nancy Symes; understudy,
Mary Darnbrough. Cicely is carrying
on an affair with young Rodney Masters, played by Chris Taylor; understudy, Don McTavish.
Other parts assigned are: Priscilla,
"a lady who hunth and lithpth," Ann
Ferguson; "bounding Julia," Betty
Buckland; Sybil, Ruth Bostock; Dorothy Colledge is understudying all
three parts. R. I. Knight is playing
the part of Eustace, who is concerned
with the genealogy of his friends. St.
John Madeley and H. Tull are still
competing for Claud, Priscilla's
comical lover, and Archie Dick and
Jack Ruttan for Hiram Walkin, a
big business man from America, who
is on the point of marrying Jennifer.
Minor parts of a butler and maid are
still to be arranged.
The play is scheduled for production at the University Theatre on
March 11-14 inclusive, and tickets will
be on sale shortly. Performances are
also planned for Cloverdale and at
New Westminster on the 9th and
possibly the 10th.
HONOR STUDENTS
TEST THEORIES
Vancouver citizens were given the
oportunity to see the experiments in
which the students of the University
are interested at the regular weekly
meeting of the Vancouver Institute,
held in Science 200 Monday.
Prof. G. M. Shrum, of the Physics
Department, spoke on "The Electron;
What is It?" to a large audience. The
experiments used to illustrate the lecture were set up and performed by
five students honoring in Physics:
Hebb, McCulloch, Lawrence, Creelman, and Young.
"The experiments shown here tonight form the greatest ai'ray of experiments that I have ever seen at a
public demonstration," stated Dr.
Shrum. "I am certain that some of
the experiments performed here tonight have never been seen in Canada
before," he continued.
Dr. Shrum outlined the rise of various theories that have been put forth
concerning the electron, and its relation to natural phenomena such as
light, heat, sound, and electricity.
"Its most important work in the universe is that it makes possible the
combination of carbon with various
other elements to form the organic
life cells," said the speaker. The lecture was illustrated with experiments
of a more simple nature than those
that followed.
After the speaker had concluded,
the five students showed their experiments, the result of weeks of work in
the laboratory.
McCulloch and Lawrence projected
on the screen the Michelson White
Light Fringes, basis of the theory of
relativity. The apparatus was adjusted to 1   10,000,000 of an inch.
Another experiment showed the interference of waves on the surface of
mercury. The projection of this interference on the screen was clearer
than any of the Physics professors
had ever seen.
Malcolm   Hebb   showed   a   Geiger
Counter, by means of which the Alpha
particles emitted by radium and other
(Continued on Page 2)
Stadium Report
Shows Increase
Above $12,000
The latest report of the Stadium
Fund, as presented by Frank McKenzie, shows that a total of $12,
963.88 has been collected to date. An
itemized report follows:
Public Contributions
J. W. Boyd"  $35
Empress Mfg. Co. Ltd  15
H. Houston  10
Bell & Mitchell Ltd.  6
Dr. Paton   2
Banfield, Blacks & Banfield Ltd. 5
Vancouver Granite Co. Ltd.  10
E. T. Carter  8
A. L. Hager  25
Dr. Penwill   5
F. B. Begg   10
A. D. Gun  5
F. F. Henderson  10
F. L. Trumbull   5
A. Holden  _...  1
B. C. Drug Co  10
J. W. McDougal  5
D. N. Knight     10
R. L. Shummin  3
D. C. McKechnie   10
St. John & Dixon  1
A. H. MacNeil   5
Unknown  _  3
Mr. Gardiner   5
Mr. MacDonald   6
Clarke & Stuart  15
G. E. Keith  5
H. B. Leigh  2
W. A. Sutton   5
Alex McClean  5
J. Granger  2
D. Firbank -  1
C. J. Higgins
E. J. Ryan  50
Imperial Typewriter   5
Win, Ingledew  5
W. E. N. Wright   10
The Home, 41st & Granville .... 5
Miss J. Stevenson   1
J. R. Allan 2
Flack  Investments 2
Win, Carson 10
H.  Hanadine     10
R. J. McCush      5
T. P. Nicholls 5
Wilson & Wilson      2
Frew   Bros. 5
P. Duncan 2
Gordon  Runkle        1
Guerney Stove Co.   5
F. Webber  5
McKenzie, White & Dunsmuir.... 10
Dr. U. D. Wescott     5
Dr. McLachland   5
Dr. D. M. Meekison  6
Norman G. Cull 10
Canada Western Cordage   5
W. R. Wilson         150
H. R. MacMillan  ,..: 10
G. B. Saunders 10
Dr.  Prowd  10
Mr. Outran 1
C. D. McNab 5
A. C. Ditmars  10
C. B. Quigley   10
R. J. Steffens     5
F. Freer Brock  15
Olive M. Adams        . 5
Jim Russell   5
A. A. Ross     25
F.   Wright  10
A. J. Grimmett  2
(Continued on Page 2)
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No Action  Taken
At Meeting
Of A.M.S.
The students of the Alma Mater
Society decided to confine themselves
at the meeting of Friday, February 13,
to learning the facts of the case concerning the suspension of the Editor-
in-Chief and discussing them. Win
Shilvock introduced a motion to this
effect which was carried by a majority of 035 to 421. An amendment
"that no person have the right to
muzzle the expression of this meeting" was defeated as out of order.
There was a charge of railroading
but it was later withdrawn.
In the discussion that followed Earl
Vance outlined the case and Maurice
DesBrisay quoted opinions of prominent members of the A. M. S. Alan
Torld stated that the policy of the U.
B. C. should be the policy of the
faculty. Discussion lasted for two
hours. Immediately after adjournment the president called another
mctting, to vote over the caution fees
to the Stadium Fund.
COUNCIL EFFECTS COMPROMISE
BETWEEN FACULTY AND EDITOR
Grantham Offers. Explanation
And Apology To President;
Re-Instatement Follows
THE following statement prepared by the Students' Council
with the assistance of the Alma Mater Society's legal adviser, has been accepted by Ronald  Grantham,  Editor-in-
Chief of the Publications Board.   President Klinck also regards
the settlement as satisfactory.
"Ronald Grantham, editor of the Ubyssey, student publication of the University of British Columbia, has expressed to President Klinck his regrets for failing to carry out the orders issued
by the President, and will be reinstated tomorrow, according to a
statement issued by Don Hutchison, President of the Students'
Council, last night.
Application has been made by the student editor for the withdrawal of his appeal to Senate from the President's order.
In a letter to the President of the University Grantham made
it clear that his failure to carry out the President's orders was
entirely due to a misunderstanding of the President's instructions, and not to any wilful desire to be disobedient. The President has accepted this explanation and apology and will reinstate
Grantham accordingly. The text of Grantham's letter is as follows :
"Referring to my letter of the 13th of February, I
would like you to know that I intended to convey to you
my regret for failing to carry out your orders of February 9th. This was entirely due to a misunderstanding of
your instructions, for which I am sincerely sorry, and not
to any wilful desire to be disobedient.
I will be obliged, therefore, if you will consider my letter
of February 13th withdrawn."
The President of the Student body explained that President
Klinck referred to the Faculty.Council of the University an editorial entitled "Criticism from Above" appearing in the Student
Publication, to which objection had been taken. This editorial
which was the only one referred to the Faculty Council concerned
the relations of students and the Faculty. Upon referring the
matter to the Faculty Council President Klinck's order to the student editor was to ensure that no criticism of the Faculty or University, or its policy, or of the Provincial Government should be
published before the Faculty Council had considered the matter
referred to it by the President.
After receipt of the President's order the Student Paper refrained from editorial comments but permitted the opinions of a
number of students to be published. Grantham was suspended
by President L. S. Klinck from the University for a period of two
weeks, and as a protest the Publications Board decided to suspend
publication of the Student Paper.
The action of the President in suspending Grantham had no
relation to a re«ent editorial which appeared in the Student Publication criticising the policy of the Provincial Government with
regard to limitation of attendance. Any impression to the contrary which had arisen is erroneous, stated Mr. Hutchison.
Mr. Hutchison stated that he had been informed by President
Klinck that the status of the Student Publications Board will be
considered immediately by the Faculty Council of the University
which will call upon the Students' Council and the Publications
Board for their representations as to the relation of the Publications Board to the Alma Mater Society and the governing bodies
of the University.
The Publications Board will voluntarily refrain from any
criticism of the University, the Faculty or the Government until
the decision of the Faculty Council as to the status of student
publications has been delivered."
Lost in Arts 100—An agate ring
valued as a keepsake. Please return
to Vorna Bolton or the Bookstore.
CAUTION MONEY  VOTED
TO SWELL STADIUM FUND
A motion was passed to submit all
caution fees to the Stadium fund at
a second meeting held Friday, February 13, immediately after the first
one adjourned. Don Hutchison stated
the proposal made by Council had
not been carried because there was
not a quorum at the meeting on February 10.
The main clause of the motion read:
"That all caution money be turned
over to the Stadium fund." A clause
providing exemption was included.
In accordance with it, the Students'
Council office will be open every day
between the hours of 12 and 1 p.m.,
from Saturday, February 14, to Friday, February 20, to students not
wishing to forfeit their caution money.
Education Prexy
Resigns Post
Maurice Desbrisay, President of
Education '31, submitted his resignation to the Education class on Wednesday, February 11, at a special meeting held late in the afternoon. A motion was passed which read:—
"That, according to the wishes of
the president, we accept his resignation with much regret."
Desbrisay stated that he wished to
support the suspended Editor-in-Chief
of the "Ubyssey" and that he would
feel more free to express his own personal opinions if he did not occupy an
executive position in the class.
Since the president could later be
re-elected, and since there would be
little executive work in the next few
weeks, the office is left vacant. Thelma Mahon, vice-president, will assume the duties of the president.
Projected Alma Mater Meeting
Cancelled By Common Consent
The Alma Mater Meeting, which was to have been held today, has been cancelled because it was considered inadvisable to
hold it at this time. A majority of those who signed the petition
have withdrawn their names.
The sponsors of the meeting feel that the proper time to call
an Alma Mater meeting will be after the whole matter has been
discussed by the Faculty Council in conjunction with the Students'
Council and the Publications Board.
More Canvassers
For Final Efforts
Demands Schultz
"It's no use quitting before you've
finished," Charlie Schultz states, commenting on the final drive for funds
for Hie stadium.
C. L. Williams is giving his entire time to the downtown canvassing
part of the work. At first he held
meetings on the campus to explain
high pressure salesmanship to campaigners. About thirty students had
been selected for this work. Later the
attendance at these meetings was so
small that they were abandoned.
Gradually the number of workers has
dwindled until there are about seven
members collecting for it.
The directors have a list of 2000
prominent business executives. They
have divided these into lists of about
twenty each, in such a way that no
one canvasser will have far to walk.
The University downtown headquarters are at 014 Hall Building, at the
corner of Howe and Pender. According to Schultz, if the students will only
get behind this last effort, it will
mean just the difference between success and failure. It is now a matter of
three days. Schultz thinks that in a
University of 1851 students it is
rather pitiful that we can't get enough
students to ask for the money that is
required. Seven students cannot do
all the work. If everyone would volunteer for only an hour's work, the campaign would require no more. If the
students won't give the time, they
mustn't expect businessmen to give
them both time and money. The campaign must end Saturday, for the
Community Chest Drive starts that
day. As an added inducement, twenty-
five dollars is offered to the student
who collects the most money.
Dilatory Seniors
Delay Work
On Totem
AU students who have not had their
picture taken for the "Totem" must
do so immediately and all proofs
must be  returned promptly.
The following students have not
turned in a write-up for the "Totem:"
Arts—Nelson Allen, Geoffrey Beall,
Marguerite Boulton, Norma Brent,
Alan Campbell, Beatrice Chisholm,
Joseph Cianci, Norma Clarke, Eleanor Everall, James Gibson, Maisie
Graham, Francis Hardwick, Malcolm
Hebb, Clara Johnsen, Alice Morrow,
Janet Owen, Frances Reece, Kathleen
Siddall, Beatrice Stanley, Roy Temple, Harold Todd, Earle Vance, Arthur Russell Wilson; Science—
Charles Rumsey, Milton Saunders,
Dalton Watson; Commerce—George
Ballentyne, Thomas Burgess, Jordon
Guy, Margaret Jean Spencer; Agriculture—Richard   Mayers.
Work on the "Totem" is being held
up until the above people turn in their
write-ups. No changes can now be
made in the "lay-out" without causing great expense and the delaying of
the publication of the book for several
weeks, so the above students must
turn in their write-ups whether they
intend to graduate now or not. Several Club write-ups, and the class
write-ups of Science '32, Agriculture
'33 and '34, and Arts '31 have not
been turned in. The "Annual" editor
will be in her office between 9 to 11
on Thursday morning to confer with
any delinquents who think that they
have a good reason for not having
their write-up in the "Totem" this
year.
DEAN BOLLERT TRAVELS EAST
TO ATTEND CONVENTION
Miss M. L. Bollert, Dean of
Women, has left to attend a
convention of the American Association of Deans of Women
in Detroit. On her return she
will visit the University
Women's Club and the Women's
Canadian Clubs in Toronto,
Winnipeg, Regina and Calgary
where she will speak on the
Pan-Pacific Women's Association conference which she attended last summer in Honolulu.
City Musicians
Augment Fund
By Concert
VARIED PROGRAM PRESENTED
TO VANCOUVER AUDIENCE
A THRONG of music lovers, many
of whom were University students, filled the Crystal Ballroom
of the Hotel Vancouver on Monday
evening at the recital given by Mr.
Kenneth Ross in aid of the Varsity
Stadium Fund. More than $300 was
added to the fund.
Keith Kimball, a Junior student,
rendered Chopin's "Nocturne in F
Minor" delightfully. He was followed
by Miss Isobel Montgomery in two
pieces by Debussy, "La Fille aux
Cheveux de Lin" and "Prelude in A
Minor."
Ernest Greene played "Toccota and
Fugue in D Minor," Bach-Taussig,
and Elfie Tussa, who is known to University students by her fine performance at the last Musical Society recital, played the Shulz-Evler arrangement of "By the Beautiful Blue
Danube." Sara Eugenie Davidson
gave the "Rhapsodie in C" by Doh-
nanyi, and Mabel Winterbottom, A.
T.C.M., played "Liebesfreud," Kreisler '
Rachmaninoff.
Helen Burton, accompanied by Kenneth Ross at the second piano, played
the Allegro movement of Bach's "Concerto in D Minor," and Thelma San-
ford, A.T.C.M., followed with "Ballade in G Minor" by Chopin. Clifford
Kenneth Ross at the second piano
gave a very fine performance of
Liszt's "Hungarian Fantasy." Beu-
lah Schuldt, A.T.C.M. chose as her
two numbers "Theme Varie, Op. 16,
No. 3" by Paderewski and "Capric-
cio," Op. 2, No. 4 by Dohnanyi.
Noble Kendall followed with Chopin's "Fantaisie in F Minor," and
Mrs. John Norton, accompanied by
Kenneth Ross at the second piano,
played the "Moderato" movement of
Rubinstein's "Concerto in D Minor."
The assisting artists were Marion
Copp, Contralto, who gave a delightful group of English folk songs and
Sidney Adams, baritone, whose numbers were "Tierra Alegre" by Schipa,
"The Hills of Home," by Fox, and
Mana Zucca's, "I Love Life."
EDITOR'S LETTER
EXPLAINS RETURN
Ronald Grantham, Editor-in-chief
of the Ubyssey, who was suspended
from the University for two weeks,
for disobeying an order from the
President which he did not completely
understand, has been reinstated. He
will return to the University today.
In a letter to the acting editors,
Grantham states his position.
He writes:—
"The matter of my suspension has
been arranged as follows: I have
apologized to President Klink for not
obeying his order, due to a misunderstanding of its full application. *ie
has reduced my suspension, so that I
shall be back on the campus on
Wednesday. The most important
point—namely, the freedom of the
student press—is not setled, but the
Faculty Council, with the aid of reports from the Students' Council and
the Publications Board, will prepare
a report on the status of the Publications Board. This will be done as
soon  as  possible."
Farm Marketing
Outlined To Club
The four cardinal points of the producer were outlined by Mr. W. L.
Mackin in his address on "The Dairy
Sales Adjustment Act" to the Agricultural Club, Tuesday noon.
The main points stressed by the
speaker were: the consumer of agricultural products pays enough when
he buys it; the producer in co-operative marketing must handle the surplus products; in carrying the food
from producer to consumer, nothing
but the direct cost should be tolerated,
while competition is the life of trade,
it is the death of profits.
Mr. Mackin went on to state that
since 11U0 the quality of milk has
improved, in fact in those years the
winter shortage was helped out by
the supply of rain. The price has not
varied a great deal.
In conclusion the speaker stated
that if the Dairy Sales Adjustment
Act were repealed, and the price of
milk lowered, there would be many
farmers put out of business. 2
THE UBYSSEY
February 18,1931
&he $3fap**ep
(Member of Pacific Inter-Collegiate Preai Anociatlon)
Issued every Tuesday And Friday by the Student Publications Board of the
University of British Columbia, West Point Orey.
Phone, Point Grey 691
Mail Subscriptions rate: 13 per year.   Advertising rates on application.
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF—Ronald Grantham
Editorial Staff
Senior Editors: Bessie Robertson and Edgar Brown
AssoelaU Editors: Margaret Creelman, Mairi Dingwall, Kay Murray and Nick Mussallem.
Assistant Editors: Molllo Jordan, R. Harcourt, Art McKenzie and Cecil Brennan
Cecelia Long
Feautre Editor: Bunny Pound Exchange Editor: Kay Murray
Literary Editor: Frances Lucas. Assistant Literary Editor: Michael Freeman
Sport Editor: Malcolm McGregor
Associate Sport Editors: Olive Selfe, Guthrie Hamlin and J. Wlfred Lee
Cartoonist: W. Tavender
News Manager: Himie Koshevoy
Reporters: Norman Hacking, Don Davidson, R. L. Malkin, Day Washington, B. Jaekson,
J. I. Mepougall, Kay Greenwood, Jeanne Butorae, J. Millar, St. John Madeley,
Edith Mcintosh, E. Costain, Eleanor Klllam, Jean McDIarmld, John Dauphlnee,
Tom Howe, Jean Jamlesoti, Berna Martin, Dorothy Thompson,
Anna Fulton, Sidney Aqua, Kay Crosby and E. N. Akerley
Business Staff
Business Manager: John W. Fox
Advertising Manager: Jack Turvey. Circulation Manager: Reg. Price.
Advertising Assistants: A. C. Lake and A. Kennedy
Business Assistants: Alf Allen, C. Cole, M. Alexander and J. Bardsley
Edltors.for-the-Issue
Senior: Bessie Robertson
Associates: Edgar Brown, Kay Murray, Malrl Dingwall.
Proofreader:  Tom Howe. '
Sport Editor: Malcolm McGregor. Sport Assistants: Olive Selfe, E. King
"The Pirates of Penzance"
For their fifteenth annual spring performance the Musical
Society this year presents "The Pirates of Penzance" on the niffhts
of February 26-28. This well known Gilbert and Sullivan opera
has been a happy choice on the part of the advisory committee
and it is to be hoped that the talents of the cast will be equal to
the vehicle.
Sustained practices during the past few weeks indicate that
the Musical Society is determined to make this their most successful performance. In the efforts to provide good music in the
University, a policy which the Musical Society has followed more
or less successfully since its inception, the Society is assured of
the support of all students.
As far as the cause of good music is concerned, many students regard the performance of the "Garden of the Shah" last
year as a retrogressive step. The successful staging of the "Pirates
of Penzance" will redeem the Musical Society from any stigma
connected with the preceding performance.
Co-operation
As usual at this time of the year, complaints issue from the
"Totem" staff denouncing those delinquents who have not yet
turned in write-ups or had their pictures taken. This year the
state of affairs presents no exception.
Reports reach us that there some thirty odd write-
ups still missing from the Senior personnel; also that several
members of '31 have not yet been photographed. Another detriment to the progress of the work rests with the class and club
presidents, several of whom have not yet submitted write-ups for
their respective organizations.
It is time the students realized the work involved in editing
the Annual. The "Totem" editor must co-operate with the photographer, the engraver, and the printer, and any delay in the work
of the University staff means delay in the work at all of these
firms.
If the members of the Senior class would consider the
amount of work involved in editing the Annual and co-operate to
the extent desired, the success of the "Totem" would be assured.
Not only this, but work would be completed at an earlier date,
and the "Totems" be ready for distribution before examination
time.
CMV. SALON ORCHESTRA
TO PRESENT CONCERT
C. Hayden Williams will do
his bit toward the Stadium Fund
by bringing to the University
the C.N.R.V. Salon Orchestra
which will present a concert in
the Auditorium Thursday noon.
The orchestra will be composed
of more than 25 musicians who
will offer a program of high
entertainment value. A charge
will be made at the doors of the
Auditorium and all contributions will be donated to the
fund to swell the total.
Selections will be rendered from
Suite "Scene Fittoresquils," by Massenet, The program follows:
(1) March from the Scene.
(2) Airde Ballet.
(3) Angelus.
(4) Fete Bohemc.
(5) Suite    Miniature.      Interrontu
by Tchaikefky.
(6) Ballet   Music   from   Poncielli's
opero, "La Gioconda."
Student Library
Reduced To Ten
BERKELEY, Feb. 11—The first
ten books that a junior college should
purchase for the use of its freshman
English students as collateral reference, are Funk and Wagnall's "New
Standard Dictionary of the English
Language;" Jane Austen's "Pride and
Prejudice;" G. Crabbe's "English Synonyms;" Charles Dickens' "David Copperfield;" F. S. Allen's "Synonyms
and Antonyms;" W. M. Thackeray's
"Vanity Fair;" C. Bronte's "Jane
Eyre;" H. W. and F. G. Fowler's
"Concise Oxford Dictionary of Current English;" J. B. Greenough and
G. L. Kittredge's "Words and Their
Ways in English Speech;" P. M. Ro-
get's "Thesaurus of English Words
and Phrases."
Ten Years Ago
From the Ubyssey of February
3rd, 1921
P. N. Whitley, Editor-in-chief
denounced the student body in a
vituperative editorial for its
lack of support of the 'Ubyssey'.
He said that less than one third
of the copy for the issue is in
the hands of the editors by the
deadline, which is nine o clock
Tuesdays, despite the fact that
the most recent event reported
is on a Saturday. He complains
that the 914 students only contribute about one tenth of the
copy   in   any   issue,   sometimes
even less.
♦ *    *
A reporter interviewing the
Treasurer of the A.M.S. unearthed the following facts
about the Cafeteria, recently
turned over to the students. It
was outfitted by the University
authorities at a cost of approximately $1,000.00 Profits are not
shared until monthly receipts
reach $1000.00 then the Council
receives 16'iof the first $100
over the mark and thenB'/e for
each additional century.
* *    *
The judges at the Men's
Oratorical Contest pronounced
the performance a rank failure.
They accused students of attending too many Logic lectures, because their speeches lacked the
fire and vim usually associated
with good oratory. No gold
medal was awarded; but Mr.
Cribbs was awarded the silver
medal.
TICKETS FOR SPRING CONCERT
On Sale Friday In Quad
Box Office for
PIRATES OF PENZANCE
will be open in the quad all day Friday, February 20, after which the
box office will be held at the Kelly
Piano Co. from February 21 to February 28.
February 26
Thursday  Night—Students' Night
150 additional 60c tickets will be
available making about 400 seats at
this price.
Regular prices; 50c, 75c, $1.00.
Fun and Fundamentals
ST. VALENTINE'S DAY
When the brrrrrr of the alarm
roused me from my deep slumbers on
Saturday morning, I had a strange
feeling that this was no ordinary day.
I had two reasons for thinking this;
first, that my alarm had awakened
me, and secondly that I had jumped
out of bed immediately, rather than
taking my usual after-having-been-
called 20-minute sleep. As I was setting the breakfast table my presentiment of unusuallity was suddenly substantiated. It was St. Valentine's
Dayl
I rushed off to wash and dress in a
hurry, for the mailman comes at 8:30
and I wanted to be fully arrayed in
my meagre best to receive the tokens
of admiration from what few friends
I might possess.
During breakfast everything went
wrong. When I poured the milk on my
porridge it slopped on the table, I
was so nervous; I burnt the toast
badly; I even sugared my coffee
twice 1
My ears were strained for the
clump, clump, clump of the postie's
feet on the steps. He usually comes
just as I start my second piece of
toast, and now I was folding my napkin. Wasn't he going to come today?
I tried to find me some excuse to dawdle a little as I was clearing the
table. Damn!. I almost dropped that
saucer as I heard him coming up the
stairs. Flop, ffop,—two letters dropped to the floor. Was one for.me? I
picked one up—an advertisement
from the Hudson's Bay about blankets, of all things; the other a belated
bill from my dentist. Blast 1 Apparently I'm the new president of the
Social Failures Club.
F. and F. Editor's Note: This pathetic effusion has been submitted to
me as an example of unrelieved tragedy, probably of the Russian school.
I think it only fair to add, however,
that the author is by no means the
president of the S.F.C., but on the
contrary—I'll be seeing him at the
Arts '32 party.
Stadium Fund
Totals $12,963
(Continued from page 1)
Norman C. Levin 5.00
R. P. Wescott      5.00
Owen W. Thomas          5.00
U. M. Kidd . 20.00
Hon. Geo. Black 20.00
Grote Stirling, M.P. 25.00
T. D. Pattullo, M.L.A.   25.00
Hon. R. W. Bruhn          10.00
C. P. Browning    25.00
Lewis E. Wells ... 10.00
R. McKenzie, M.L.A. 10.00
Alumni
T. Davis 4.00
M. H. Tangridge      6.00
Ralph James   10.00
E. Abernethy   10.00
B. Edwards     5.00
D. Macdonald    2.00
Muriel Murray       10.00
Student subscriptions $3,277.48
Campus Organizations 716.57
Non-Subscriptions Passed
by Classes  740.15
Graduates  22.40
Anglican College  246.70
Alumni     74.00
Miscellaneous     623.65
Ubyssey Fund 10.00
Vancouver Contributions 1,658.88
Provincial Contribution 145.15
Kenneth Ross Recital 350.00
Stadium   Dance 350.00
Women's Undergrad Soc. 200.00
I. O. U's, Post-dated
Cheques     550.00
Caution Money     4,000.00
$12,963.88
Coming from 15th and Dunbar.
Take two or three passengers from
Lower Dunbar, call and deliver. Communicate through letter rack or phone
Bay, 3608 L evenings.
Phil Parker.
LINES WRITTEN IN A DENSE FOG
The Bayreuth recording of the
"Ride of the Valkyrie" showed the
Ereatest demands made upon singers
y Wagner's operas as well as the long
distance which orchestral work had
advanced since the days of Bach.
Strauss' "Der Rosenkravaller" was
chosen as an example of modern German music.
Some people are born dumb, some
acquire dumbness, but I have dumbness forced upon me. Yesterday, I
was full of fine phrases, but now alas,
I am dumb.
Yesterday I was requested, nay commanded to write this column. And
only since yesterday have I realized
how columnists must suffer. The
insatiable column must be filled. But
with what?
All budding writers feel the urge
to burst into song. They try frantically to impress their innermost
thoughts and Impulses into obscure
verse forms and clumsy sonnets. I
was strongly tempted to write an "Ode
to Spring," but foggy weather
wouldn't allow it. Instead the following "Lines written in a dense fog,"
were thrust upon me.
While seated in the library's sheltered
home,
My hair awry, my hands athwart my
brow,
A sudden thought bestruek my
fuddled dome,
"Where are those cards with
"SILENCE"   on   them,   now?"
No more we shrink before that awe-
some word,
That ominous stand upon each table
laid
With silent warning to forbid the
herd
From thundering in that sanctimonious shade.
Where are those signs that once be-
chilled the soul?
We wondered if they'd passed from
human ken.
But now we know they were the
cherished goal
Of many a fratman to adorn his den.
So now take heed all ye that wish to
learn
The force that made those grim
reminders roam,
They now display their cryptic message stern
In happier guise in many a happier
home.
—N.H.
JUNIORS AND FROSH
PUN CLASS DANCES
Members of Arts '32 and Arts '34
will be entertained on Thursday and
Saturday respectively, at their annual class parties.
The Third year class will hold a
dance in the form of a "basket social"
in the Alma Academy, the informal
dress ranging from gingham and overalls to sport costumes. The executive
announces that no one in evening
dress will be admitted. Each couple
will bring their own lunch basket. The
hall will be decorated with agrarian
produce and farmers' implements,
while the orchestra will also be attired in rustic costume. The executive
handling the affair are Cecilia Long,
Enid Wyness, Ken Beckett and Robert Ward. Tickets will be distributed
at noon to-day from the Box Office.
The Frosh party will be a more formal affair at Lester Court. Among
those in charge of the programme are
Marjorie Ellis, Nancy Carter, Mary
McLean, Myrtle Sutton, Doug Brown,
Stuart Keats and Alfie Allen.
Lending their patronage to the
Freshman party are Dean and Mrs.
0. Buchanan, Dr. and Mrs. Gordon
Shrum and Prof, and Mrs. H. T. Logan
How did he do it?
First Voyager: "My heart is with
the ocean."
Second   Sufferer:     "Gosh,    you've
gone me one better."
A McKechnie Cup Rugger's Dream
*%
(ffie  ffvoay  fe^/i    h*!*^******   A»*^*»i
/   '
Students Of Physics
Give Demonstration
(Continued from page 1)
radio-active substances can be counted. A system of radio-amplification
was used to magnify the sound caused
by the bombardment of the electrons.
"The disintegration of the pieces of
uranium used tonight has been going
on for hundreds of thousands of
years," said Dr. Shrum.
The Tesla Coil built by Creelman
and Young in the laboratory here was
used to produce a spark 85 cms. long,
and to illuminate a neon tube held in
the range of the waves sent out by
this discharge. A high-frequency current of 1,060,000 volts was passing
through the apparatus.
A bit of humor was supplied by the
use of a photo-electric cell operated by
a ray of light across the doorway.
Each person coming through the door
cut off the light from the cell, and
rang a bell, to his evident surprise.
Later, the same apparatus was used
to light a lamp and start a fan when
the light was cut off. "This is the method used in the Hudson River tunnel
to count the cars passing through,"
said the speaker. "By this means, a
man can have control of any amount
of energy," continued the speaker.
The Thyratron tube used was the first
shipped out of the United States since
its development in the General Electric Laboratory last summer.
In conclusion, Dr. Shrum said that
the lecture was only made possible by
the tireless efforts of the Physics students whose experiments were such a
great success.
Summer Courses
% Offer Variety
BERKELEY, Feb. 12—Preliminary
announcements of the curricula for
the summer schools to be held at the
University of California this year reveal that more than 110 courses in
twenty-seven subjects will be offered
during interssion from May 11 to June
20, and more than 260 courses in thirty-eight subjects will be offered during summer session from June 22
to August 1.
Among the subjects in which courses will be offered during outermission
are: agriculture, anthropology, art
botany, chemistry, economics, education, English, French, geography, German, history, Italian, jurisprudence,
mathematics, mechnics, music, oceanography, philosophy, physical education, physics, physiology, political science, psychology, public speaking,
Spanish, zoology.
Farmer's Wife (to "Pope" Borden,
who had almost run into the woman's
cow): "Your car has brakes, why
don't you use them?"
The Pope: "Your cows have horns,
why don't they blow them?"      —Ex.
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THE LASH
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Marion Nixon • Mary Aster
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Small bridge parties accommodated
Attractive but not Expensive
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Madame Marlon
DRESSMAKER
HOSIERY AND UNDERWEAR
4603.10th Ave. W. Ell. 1601
Bridge Cards
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Made in Canada of best linen
finish stock, which makes them
easy to shuffle. Picture designs on cards, and each pack
neatly boxed. Extra ^Qfi
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Fancy Tallies for Bridge — A
new selection of tallies from
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an assortment of over 200
designs—come in and choose
now! Extra special,
dozen	
19c
—Stationery Dept.,
Main Floor.
DAVID SPENCER
LIMITED
—The Vancouver Sun-
"Vancouver's Home newspaper"
SOC .jes*. Phone Trinity
a Month B^^8 ^^ ^ ^ /
February 18,1981
THE UBYSSEY
Three years went by, and, in accord-
ance,
The more I live, the more I see,
And realize my own importance
As senior at the U.B.C.
I have'been soaked when li'l freshies
Were purified in lily pond:
As Sophomore withstood all clashes
That only tied us in closer bond.
I felt so graceful and attractive
When first I donned my Junior gown,
But now I find that most effective
Is Senior's intellectual frown.
The Freshmen free of all corruptions
In class are silent as in a tome;
But thanks to Seniors' interruptions
It's more like a reception room.
Those days are gone when I have
trembled,
In front of profs, my poor heart sank
I've  often   on   my  essays   gambled,
'Ere I obtained this noble rank.
I've run to class with bell precisely,
I've had my reading up to date;
I've acted anything but wisely
Before I reached my present state.
I feel more proud and much more
solemn
Than if I had long pedigree;
For think all those who read this
column—
—In Spring I'll have B.A. degree!
Jean E. Margolis.
*   *   *
"THE BULL PEN"
The noise is terrific—the heat simply
killing
Yet the devils—once men—work on.
Behind is the spotter, quick eyed and
stealthy
Waiting to put a man out of his job.
The saws keep on whining—the hemlock keeps flying
And faster and faster the devils must
go.
For machines have no pity nor companies mercy
A man's paid to work, and it's work
he must do.
The hours drag slowly—the task is
unholy
And the boss gives you hell if you
slack.
Yet there are mouths to be fed—and
we must have a bed
And a house, and some clothes on
our back.
So it's work till the whistle and work
with a will
Draw your cheque at the end of the
month—
For if you won't work till you sweat
through your shirt
There are hundreds of fellows who
will—
—B.C.
What People Are Saying:
Prof. D. C. Harvey: "I think
the next governor-general of
Canada should be a retired professor."
Prof. W. A. Carrothers:
"Some of you fellows must be
batching."
Mac McGregor: "From now
on I'm a bachelor."
Dr. Ashton: "Now children,
let me talk to you in words
of one syllable."
Jean McDiarmid (to editor):
"The Dean isn't out and the
Registrar isn't in."
Prof Soward: "All Kings and
Rulers of the Balkans are liable
to assassination sometime during their tenure of office."
Nick Mussallem: "I think men
should lead blameless lives."
Himie: "What's a husband
between  friends."
Costain: "I like pure humor."
Mac: "Where the dickens is
the English Rugby team?"
Francos Lucas: "My faith in
mankind is shattered again. It's
shuttered on the average of'
three times n clay."
F. G. ('. Wood: "There was a
time when women didn't smoke
in public — surreptitiously or
otherwise."
Dr. Davidson (on entry of
bearded Whimster): "I feel
shamelessly juvenile around
here now."
Dr. Sedgewick: "Some people
are so extraordinary as to be
amused at a dog."
Heavenly Story Told in Metre
Of Wrongs Righted by St. Peter
After a funeral a Chinese was asked, "why do you put food on the
grave—do you expect the dead man to
come back and eat it?"
The old Chinese looked quite blank
for a moment and then his face lighted
up as he said: "Why do you put
flowers on top dead man—you think
he come back and smell 'em?"—Ex.
St. Peter stood guard at the Golden
Gate,.
With a solemn air and mien sedate,
When up to the top of the Golden
stair,
A man and woman ascending there
Applied for admission. They eame and
stood
Before St. Peter, so great and good,
In hopes the City of Peace to win—
And asked St. Peter to let them in.....
The woman was tall and lank and
thin.
With a scraggy beardlet upon her
chin.
His face was pleasant, and all the
while
He wore a kindly and genial smile.
The choirs in the distance the echoes
awoke,
And the man kept still while the
woman spoke.
"0, thou who guardest the gate," said
she,
"We two come hither beseeching thee,
"To let us enter the Heavenly Land,
"And play our harps with the angel
band.
"Of me, St. Peter, there is no doubt—
"There's nothing from Heaven to bar
me out;
"I've been to meetin's three times a
week,
"And almost always I'd rise and
speak.
"I've told the sinners about the day
"When they'd repent their evil way,
"I've told my neighbors, I've told
them all
"About Adam and Eve, and the primal
fall;
"I've shown them what they'd have to
do
"If they pass in with the chosen few;
I've marked their path of duty clear
"Laid out the plan for their whole
career;
"I've talked to 'em, talked to 'em,
loud and long,
"For my lungs are good, and my
voice is strong.
"So good St. Peter, you'll clearly see
"The gate of Heaven is open to me;
"But my old man, 1 regret to say,
"Hasn't walked in exactly the narrow
way —
"He smokes and he swears^and grave
faults he's got,
"And I don't know whether he'll pass
or not.
"He never would pray with earnest
vim,
"Or go to revivals or join a hymn.
"So I had to leave him in sorrow
there,
"While I with the chosen, united in
prayer.
"He ate ivhat my pantry chanced to
a fford,
"While I in my purity, sang to the
Lord;
"And if cucumbers were all he got,
"It's a chance, if he merited them or
not.
"Rut, Oh! St. Peter,  I love him so!
"To  the  pleasures of Heaven please
let him go,
"I've done enough—a saint I've been—
"Won't that atone? Can't you let him
in?
"By my grim gospel I know 'tis so,
"That  the  unrepentant must fry
below;
"But  isn't  there  some  way you  can
sec
"That he may enter who's dear to me?'
"It's  a   narrow gospel  by  which  I
pray,
"But  the chosen  expect to find some
way
"Of   coaxing,   or  fooling,   or   bribing
you,
"So that their relations can amble
through.
"And say I St. Peter, it seems to me
"This gate isn't kept as it ought to be;
"You ought to stand by that opening
there,
"And never sit down in that easy
ehair.
"And I don't like the way your
whiskers are trimmed;
"They're cut too wide and outward
toes,
"Theyd look better narrower, cut
straight across.
"Well we must be going our crowns
to win;
"So open, St, Peter, and we'll pass
tn;
St. Peter sat quiet and stroked his
staff;
But, spite his office, he had to laugh;
Then said, with fiery gleam in his eye,
"Who's tending this gateway—you or
I?"
And then arose in his stature tall,
And pressed a button upon the wall,
And said to the Imp who answered
the bell,
"Escort this lady around to Hell."
The man stood still as a piece of
stone,
Stood sadly, gloomily there alone.
A life-long settled idea he had,
That his wife was good and he was
bad.
That he woidd certainly have to go—
That  if she  went  to  the  regions
dim
There wasn't a ghost of a show for
him.
Slowly he turned, by habit bent,
To follow the woman wherever she
went.
St. Peter, standing on duty there,
Observed that the top of his head was
bare,
So he called the gentleman back, and
said;
"Friend, how long hast thou been
wed?"
"Thirty years" (with a weary sigh),
And then thoughtfully added, "Why?"
St. Peter was silent.  With head bent
down,
He raised his hand and scratched his
crown;
Then, seeming a different thought to
take,
Slowly, half to himself, he spake
"Thirty years with that woman there!
"No wonder the man hasn't any hair;
"Swearing's wicked—smoke is not
good;
'He smoked and swore—/ should think
he woidd!
"Thirty years with tongue so sharp!
Ho! Angel Gabriel! Give him a harp
"A jeivelled harp, with a golden
string.
"Good Sir, pass in where the angels
sing,
"Gabriel, give him a seat alone—
"One ivith a cushion—up near the
throne;
"Call up some angels to play their
best,
"Let him  enjoy the music and rest.
"See that en finest ambrosia he feeds,
"He's had about all the Hell he needs;
"It  isn't hardly the thing to do
"To roast him on earth and in future
too."
They gave  him  a  harp with golden
strings,
A glittering robe with a pair of
wings;
And he said, as he entered the Realm
of Day,
"Well  this  beats   cucumbers,
anyway."
And so the Scriptures had come to
pass;
"The last shall be first, and the first
shall be last."
Dean: "Why are you In college?"
Bewildered Soph: "Mother says It
is so I'll meet the right people; father
says it's so I can be educated; sister
says it's to get me out of the way for
four years—but I think it's because
somebody has to wear out my older
brother's college sweaters."—Ex.
An absent minded student shot and
killed his prof. He, as one of the suspects, was brought before the magistrate and cross-examined.
"Did you or did you not shoot Professor Day to death?"
"I'll be hanged if I know," responded the student.
—Ex.
The boys of one of Dr. Strykers'
classes at Hamilton college got a goose
and tied It securely in his chair and
pushed the chair under his desk, just
before his expected arrival. He entered, pulled out his chair and saw the
goose occupying it. "I beg your pardon gentlemen," he said, "I didn't
know you were having a class meet
ing
i"_
-Ex.
She (sighing): "How grand It
would be to go to Spain and meet some
big, handsome, dark Spaniard."
He: "Why not go to Africa—they
are bigger and darker there."—Ex.
Prof. Evans: "How many answers
did you get for today's problems?"
Fresh:  "Three or four each, sir."
—Ex.
Smitty '33: "Yes, fellows, hard
work never hurt any man. Fresh,
bring me another pillow for my elbow.7'—Ex.
Bob H.: "Have you heard the
aspirin story?"
Art M.:  "What's that?"
Bob H.: "The one about the three
Bayers?"—Ex.
Somnolent Pubbitei
Roused by Roosters
Monday morning at nine o'clock
saw the office of the Publications
Board in a state of holy calm. Certain members of the editorial staff
were deep in such tomes as the Municipal Corporation Act, Pope's Essay
on Criticism, and the Vancouver Sun.
Suddenly the silence was shattered
by a piercing sound. The heads of
the editorial board were raised in
consternation. The sound was re
peated, startingly close. It was an
ordinary enough sound, in its place,
but its place, one would think, was
not outside the windows of the editorial offices of the "Ubyssey."
"Has something escaped from over
at the Aggies?" someone wondered.
A large red truck had made its appearance outside the Administration building. A reporter with a
nose for news dashed out to reconnoitre. The mystery was solved. No
one was subtley insulting the 'Ubyssey" by implying that the staff needed
waking up. Nor was the staff in the
peculiar condition that a late party
the night before might induce. No
one was "hearing things."
It was only two large and bellicose red roosters, apparently being
exiled from the Aggie quarters for
insubordination, startling the neighborhood with a robust "Cock-a-doodle-
doo!"
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COMMERCE AND
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TRY THEM
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Phones:   SEYMOUR   1810-9002
338 Hastings St., W. THE UBYSSEY
February 18,1^931
CAMPUS SPORT CAMERA
FROSH RACERS FAVORED
TO TAKE RELAY CLASSIC
Historic Run Recalls Former Campaign
Runners and would-be runners will match heels tomorrow
when the historic Arts '20 relay will be staged between the old
buildings and the new, from Fairview to the wilds of Point Grey.
The marathon will commence at Willow and Twelfth and
Gavin Dirom will fire the gun if it functions properly which will
be unusual. Leo Gansner announces that the grind will start at
8.45 sharp.   That may or may not be so but the prompt arrival
of pavement pounders at their laps
will assist track club officials in their
efforts to operate smoothly.
A special bulletin service managed
by the "Ubyssey" sport staff will enable the campus hordes to keep in
touch with the perspiring toddlers
pace by pace if they last. Results will
be announced by megaphone from the
Council session room.
The usual collection of automobiles
or what have you will follow the
race and a special plea is made to
student drivers to keep clear of the
runners. Be careful. They bite. But
so do the fumes which pour from the
exhausts of cars which insist on preceding many of the, runners.
Advance dope gives the green clad
Freshies a decided edge; in fact they
themselves with their usual modesty
claim that there will be no argument
at all over the first place. Alf Allen
star distance man, will run the third
lap for the yearlings which looks bad
for the opposition since this is the
crucial leg of the afternoon performance. Shatford is also among the '34
entries and will be seeing what he
can do about lap No. 2. Sid Swift
who gained repute by losing his way
in the cross country will tackle the
seventh mile, while the other men are
all above the ordinary standard.
However all this may be the red-
shirts of '33 have a different tale to
tell and are also among the favored.
George Allen and Moorhead (christian name unknown) are two of the
star entries.
The Aggies have a few good runners we are told although not particularly strong all round. Wilf Lee
of hockey fame and Jack Dicks will
carry the burden for the farmers.
And, lest we forget, Leo Gansner,
himself is in this little race. He will
be aided and abetted by seven other
Arts Seniors and can be counted upon
to do one or maybe two startling
things.
Proceeding along twelfth the runners will be relieved at Pine Street.
The third lap begins at fourth and
Yew and the course follows Fourth
Avenue to Collingwood and thence to
the Deaf and Dumb school. And then
comes the big hill where grit will out
and so will perspiration. The sixth
division goes to Tenth and thence
along the boulevard to Eternity
Where. From then on is plain sailing, the last phase beginning at the
Gables.
And all for nothing Wednesday afternoon at 3.45 of the clock.
VARSITY PILL SWATTERS
SQUELCH EX-BRITANNIA
Continuing in the fighting spirit of
the previous week Womens' Grass
Hockey U.B.C. team cleaned up Ex-
Britannia, the league leaders, at
Strathcona Saturday to the tune of
2-1. ^
The whole teaof^ilayed in an outstanding manner netting two goals in
the first half and preventing its opponents from scoring until towards
the end of the game. Aubin Burridge,
back on the job, was responsible for
one of the Varsity Goals, and Carol
Sellars for the other.
The team: M. Harris, E. Teppo, M.
McDonald, E. Leigh, J. Knight, R.
Mouat, L. Rowntree, B. Sutton, A.
Burridge, V. Mellish, C. Sellars.
Hoping to establish their reputation
as whirlwind players, the members of
the Womens' Grass Hockey Varsity
team will clash with their rivals, the
U.B.C. team, tomorrow. The game is
scheduled for 4 o'clock at Strathcona
Park.
BACK THE PACK
The Pirates Are Coming
Gridders Fight
To 1-1 Draw
Powerful Clubbers He d
In a closely contested struggle at
McBride Park on Saturday, the Varsity Senior City Canadian Rugby
team allowed V. A. C. to hold it to a
1-1 draw. Although the game was
thrilling from a spectator's point of
view, it was not very well played,
being featured by frequent fumbles on
both sides.
Fumbles Frequent
During the first period V.A.C. had
the advantage with play mostly in the
Varsity half of the field. The Clubbers
kept the ball most of the time since
Varsity, being within its own twenty-
five yard line, was forced to kick every
time it got possession.
But in the next quarter the tide began to turn and Varsity began to tear
wide holes in the Clubbers' line. However, after making several first downs
the ball was lost on a fumble just in
time to save the game for V.A.C.
After the half-time kick-off the students continued to press. At this point
Varsity completed a forward pass only
to have it disallowed by the referee
for interference behind the line of
scrimmage. Shortly after this set back
V.A.C. worked a perfect outside kick
which gave them first down on the
Varsity twenty yard line. They were
however, unable to make the necessary yards and the attempted drop
kick failed, making the score 1-0 for
them.
Stung into action by the prospect
of losing an important game, Varsity
woke up and started a march down the
field which was checked only within
fifteen yards of the V.A.C. goal line.
Here Varsity kicked to deadline for
one point, tying the score. After five
minutes more of scrimmage in V.A.C.
territory, Varsity punted again but
the kick was run out by Mercer. The
game ended soon after.
SCIENCE FROLIC
BEATSRUGGERS
EX-TECHS WIN BY SINGLE TRY
Once again a Blue and Gold team
was defeated—by a social function the
night before a game. Varsity's Tisdall Cup ruggers, their minds filled
with tender wnisperings and the soft
strains of heavenly music were rudely
jostled 3-0 by a group of rather mechanically-minded gentlemen who were
entirely free from any ill effects following a Science Ball.
The U.B.C. aggregation looked very
different from that which took the
measure of the strong Victoria squad,
two short weeks ago. They did not
come to life at all in the first half and
the Ex-Tech boys made good their advantage by scoring what proved to be
the winning points of the game.
Varsity awoke a little in the second
half, but the men could not put the
necessary finishing touches to their
efforts.
Phil Barrat missed a chance to score
on a drop kick, while Ledingham and
Rogers made gallant but fruitless efforts to score. Ledingham's 40 yard
run in the second half was a bright
spot in the game and fittingly capped
an outstanding performance on the
part of this player. The game ended
in mid field with Varsity on the short
end of a 3-0 count.
SOPHS MAKE MERRY
WITH THEOLOGS
Arts '33 stepped out with long
strides to vanquish and whatnot the
Theologs by the magnificent score of
35-17 in the inter-class hoop melee,
Tuesday noon at the Gym.
Paulding decorating the floor at
centre was high scorer for the clay
garnering 15 points and adding them
to the Churchmen's total. He weaved
his way in and out of the opposition
much to their disgust and in his lanky
laconical manner netted the sphere
time after time. For the Sophs Lucas
and Wright combined their efforts to
tally ten markers each.
Biff McLeod attempted the position
of referee and cast a lenient eye on
discrepancies made by the players as
they barged hither and yon on the
boards.
The second year aspirants to basketball honors played pretty combinations at times and thus forged ahead
and were leading 17-9 at the half time
whistle. In the second canto the
Sophs made their victory good by
sinking 18 points to the opposition's
8. The game ended when the holder
of the watch, one Aqua by name, decided it was lecture time.
Last Chance Offered
For McKechnie Cup
Varsity meets a strong Vancouver
Rep team in a crucial McKechnie Cup
fixture on Saturday at 3:15 p.m. on
the Brockton Point oval. The collegians can make things very interesting
for the fans by turning in a victory,
because this feat would force a three-
cornered tie between Varsity, Vancouver and Victoria for the first place
standing and thus necessitate at least
three more games being played.
Varsity is staging a plucky uphill
fight for B.C.'s major English rugby
cup and deserves the undivided support of the student body in Saturday's
deciding battle. Information from rival camps assures the dopesters that
both squads are at full strength and
those students who wend their way to
that historic battleground will witness
a game that will remind them of the
famous Miracle Men's comeback
1926.
in
Sport Summary
ENGLISH RUGBY
Varsity, 0; Ex-Techs, 3.
Mc Ilmoyle's Mud Larks, 22;
Rowing Club, 5.
Intermediates.  0;   Ex-Britannia, 0.
Frosh, 0; Normal, 12.
SOCCER
Varsity. 2; South Hill, 1.
Juniors, 0; North Shore, 2.
CANADIAN RUGBY
Varsity, I; V.A.C, 1.
GRASS HOCKEY
Varsity. 3; Incogs, 1.
U.B.C. 0; Crusaders, 6.
BASKETBALL
Varsity, 47; Huskies, 15.
Varsity. 21; Shores, 18.
INTER-CLASS SOCCER
Arts '31, 1; Arts '34, 0.
WOMEN'S GRASS HOCKEY
U.B.C,  2;  Ex-Britannia  1.
HOCKEYMEN AND WOMEN
TO CLASH WITH DUNCAN
RAP THE REP.
AND
COP THE CUP
Th Duncan Mens' Grass Hockey
Club is scheduled to play the University first eleven on Saturday next at
Connaught FovJr.
This is Duncan's first visit to U.
B. C, though a match was played in
the island town on February 3. The
visiting team will be the guests of the
University Mens' Grass Hockey Club
at luncheon on Saturday.
A Women Grass Hockey team from
Duncan will play the U. B. C. squad
on Saturday afternoon. Announcement of time and place will be made
in the Friday "Ubyssey."
Hoopster s Take
First Place
Defeat Shores and Huskies
SOCCERMEN TAKE THIRD
STRAIGHT LEAGUE GAME
Costain And Todd Net For Students
Alan Todd carved one of those well known niches in the hall
of fame for himself Saturday when he scored the winning goal
five minutes from time to enable the striving senior soccermen
to beat South Hill 2-1 at Trimble Park. Previously Cherub Costain had done a little carving on his own account to equalize the
scores.   Which looks as if Varsity came from behind to win.
They did.
The game was one of those touch
and go affairs. They touch and you go
—to earth. Combination was the
order of the day on both sides and
some pretty soccer was dished up to
roaring multitudes who numbered
fully fifteen strong. Unfortunately
neither side could shoot worth a hoot
and many made to order chances were
wasted.
The first thrill came fifteen minutes after the start when the referee
took a dislike to Roberts and awarded
a penalty against the Gold and Blue.
The shot was sawed however and the
students breathed again.
Then Costain went for a little walk
by himself and ended by netting the
pill but the dear old ref. was still
feeling out of sorts and adjudged the
score offside.
The Varsity men forced the issue
and Latta finished a glorious run by
crashing a drive against the underside of the bar. The forwards were
working smoothly but hurried shooting mussed up many efforts.
After the boys had partaken of the
usual refreshments they went to it
again and after ten minutes of even
play South Hill scored when a lovely
shot from an angle foiled the college
custodian.
Things looked bad but who cared?
Not Costain and his merry men for
after many attacks Todd (D) charged
down a clearance by the Hill goalie
and Costain plunked in the ball as it
bounced on the line.
Things seemed set for a draw but
Latta had different ideas. The speedy
winger brought off the best run of
the afternoon from the half way
line and got in his pass as two men
smeared him. Alan Todd, picked up
the pass and placed his shot in the
other corner of the net. Then all was
rejoicing and the game was as good
as over for the Hillmen never had a
chance of getting past Chalmers and
Roberts.
For Varsity the forwards were in
the limelight all day. Latta and
Wright were too speedy for the Blue
half backs while the two Todds and
Costain formed a powerful inside trio.
The backs were always safe while the
halves of whom Cox was the pick
played steady football to hold the
snappy South Hill forwards.
Varsity: McGregor; Roberts, Chalmers; Wright (H.), Kozoolin, Cox;
Wright (B.), Todd (D.), Costain,
Todd (A.), and Latta.
Varsity senior "A" men's basketball team ended the season in a blaze
of glory when they won their last two
games in convincing style. Last Tuesday at Bob Brown's gymnasium, the
boys in Blue disposed of the hard-
fighting Shores five by a 21-18 score
and on Wednesday the team finished
its schedule by giving the Westminster "Y" team a 47-15 pasting.
Tervo and CampbelllStar
On Wednesday Randy Tervo and Pi
Campbell were shooting in phenomenal fashion and piled up a total of
26 points between them. It seems a
student offered Tervo a reward for
every point he scored and Randy's 15
points just about demolished his bankroll.
Campbell found the checking of the
Westminster guard to his liking and
eluded his check to score 11 points.
Coach Montgomery gave his boys
instructions before the game that
anyone taking a long shot would be
yanked in a hurry. Cy Lee decided to
see how serious the coach was and
tried a long one in the first minute.
Tervo was substituted for Lee. A moment later Larry Nicholson dropped
one in from just outside the foul line.
He was just about to look proud when
Osborne came on and Larry departed
more in sorrow than in anger.
During the last five minutes of the
game Westminster with four men but
Captain Hugh Grant refused to let
Skipper Henderson of the Varsity
team drop a man. As a cynical spectator remarked the "Y" wanted Varsity to get all the practice possible for
the coming playoffs. The motto of the
"Y" team seems to be "anything to
beat the Adanacs."
And speaking of playoffs, the Varsity team should be in the finals about
a week from today and, given a break
from the league the first game should
be in the Varsity gym.
GRANT'S SOCCERMEN
BEAT FROSH
Brains triumphed over brawn in
the inter-classic soccer fissure played
upon Monday noon, and the heavy
frowns of George Grant & Co. finally
were too much for Arts '34.
The game was fast and spurious
with McGregor easily the best man
on both sides, and although the Freshmen did repeated homage before the
seniors' goal, Wrinch, as custodian,
turned them resolutly away. "Browser" Burgess made repeated sorties
against "Bulky" Broadhurst and his
high-kickers, and shortly after pastime the Grantites rolled the pill into
the net over the prostrate form of
Gemmel for the winning counter.
Final score 1-0 for '31.
s. o. s.
All plutocrats with cars at their disposal are requested to assemble at the
gym Wednesday at 3 p.m. to transport the heaving relay men.
Fisher: "I flunked that exam, cold."
R.A.P.: "I thought it was easy."
Fisher: 'It was, but I had vaseline
on my hair and my mind slipped."
—Ex.
Arts '20 Relay Chart
Arts Ml
Arts M2
Arts 'M
Arts *34
Airirles
Theologs
Sc. '31
Sc. '32
Sc. '33
Sc. '34
No.  1
No. 2
No.  3
No.  i
|        No. 5
No. 8
No.   7
Selder
Read
Gansner
Lowe
Younr
Hurt
Parker
Todd
Patterson
Ward
Snowsvll
Roper
Smith
Fletcher
Rudkln
Mnclegh
Clark
Klrkpatrlck
Brink
Lydiatt
Mownt
Fordyce
Shatford
Allen
McLaren
Todd   <n>
Spragge
Swift
Falls
Leech
Dicks
Lee
Dumville
Salisbury
Vrooman
Munn
Shiels
Dunham
Thomas
Wright
Swanell
Thornbcr
Williams
Mitchell
J. Y. Smith
LePage
D.   Smith
Irving
Rossiter
T.  Verner
W. Smith
G. Allen
Buckland
Stirlintr
McMullin
Moorhead
Brown
Sladen
Northcott
Dorrel
J.  Verner
McDougal
Sinclair
No.  8
Grant
Dickson
Brooks
Hodges
Foraythe
Alpin
Nesbitt
Slmonds
Guire
U. B. C. SHUTTLE CHASERS
TO STAGE TOURNAMENT
The annual University Badminton
tournament opens in the gym. Monday night, February 23, at 7:30 p.m.
Non-club members are urged to enter
the tournament as well as those who
play in the University club. Lists
are up in the quad for the names of
contestants. There will be Men's and
Ladies' open singles, Men's and Ladies'
handicap singles, Men's and Ladies'
doubles, both handicap and open, and
handicap and open mixed doubles.
Those desiring partners are asked to
get in touch with Nic Solly, George
Weld, Ian Campbell, or Margaret
Moscrop. finals will be played Thursday evening, March 5th.
•C Team Loses
Varsity C Badminton team received
another beating Monday night when
the West Enders defeated the students
9-7. Only one of the mixed doubles
was won by Varsity, but it picked up
in the men's and ladies' doubles. Ellen
Gleed, a first team member, substituted for Eleanor Everall.
Thursday night Varsity comes up
against the Maples and hopes to regain at least a footing in the League.
The team: Frances Reynolds, Ellen
Gleed, Margaret Palmer, Margaret
Moscrop, George Weld, Charlie Stra-
chan, Ralph Moore, Paul Kozoolin.
More Jokes
Lawyer: "And you claim your dog
did not bite this man?"
Prisoner: "I most certainly do."
Lawyer: "How can you prove this
statement?"
Prisoner: "First, my dog has no
teeth; second, he is not ferocious;
third, he is particular whom he bites;
fourth, I have no clog."
—Ex.
Root: "Did you make these biscuits
with your own little hands?"
Bessie: "Yes, dear.    Why?"
Root: "I just wondered who in hell
lifted them off the stove for you."
-Ex.
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AT  YOUR JEWELERS

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