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The Ubyssey Mar 10, 1931

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ImuccI Twice Weekly b> the Student*' Publication* Board of The University of British Columbia.
vol. xni.
VANCOUVER, B.C; MARCH 10th, 1931
No. 84
Student Government Supported
In Presidential Platforms
Candidates for the position of President for the Alma Mater
Society presented their platforms before the students in the Auditorium Monday noon. Frederic Grimmett, the first to speak,
stated that he was absolutely behind Council in its recent stand
concerning the resignation of Grantham.
Earl Vance, the other candidate, based his platform on student self-government. Over three-quarters of those that signed
his nomination paper were Science-
men, he said.
Fred Grimmett, who is the present
Junior member, divided his policy into three parts. Concerning finance,
although he had no definite views,
he believed money should be budgeted to different activities in proportion to the participants and also
to the number interested.
He added that he would do his utmost to advance inter-collegiate competition. He believed the students have
already done their share towards a
stadium and that they should do no
more. His policy would be to "sit
tight" and wait.
Reviews Gimmett's Record
Bill Whimster in supporting Grimmett summarized his record while at
the U.B.C. He has been President of
the Frosh, President of the Track
Club, and Junior member.
Mary Matheson reminded the audience of the experience which Grimmett has had as a member of the Students' Council. If he were elected, he
would be the only person on the Council who would have any such experience. It was essential, she believed,
to have at least one person on the
executive who is acquainted with its
Earl Vance, in presenting his program, refused to give any promises
which circumstances might not allow
him to keep. He did state that he
would stand for the students in an
effort to gain student government, nor
would he go about it in an antagonistic manner.
Brown Lauds Vance
Ralph Brown, who spoke later, said
that Vance has taken an interest in
many activities since he began attending the Varsity. For the past
three years he has been a member of
the executive of the Men's Athletic
Association, President of the Canadian Rugby Club, and also an Intercollegiate debater. He is a member of
the Stadium Committee and would be
able to do any executive work which
would be necessary if Olympic trials
were to be held out here, he added.
Frank Buckland also supported
Vance, pointing out that if Vance
were elected, he would support Intercollegiate meets as he has done in the
past. He also said that Vance, although contrary to the opinion of
many, was quite capable of forming
the conservative ideas which must
necessarily be held by any President
of the A.M.S.
I.S.S. Secretary
On Visit Here
Dr. Walter Kotschnig, General Secretary of the International Students'
Service, will give an address on "Student Conditions in Europe," Tuesday
noon in Arts 100.
As Dr. Kotschnig is an authority
on international student affairs an
interesting and stimulating lecture is
expected. In addition, shortly after
Dr. Kotschnig's visit the I.R.C. with
the S.C.M. co-operating, are planning
a tag-day for the International Students' Service. All the money received
is used in student relief schemes the
world over.
Art Club
A meeting of the Art Club will be
held at the home of Miss Grace Adams,
6507 Maple Street, Wednesday evening, March 11, at 8 o'clock. Mr. Scott,
of the Vancouver School of Decorative
and Applied Arts, will speak on woodcuts. All interested are cordially invited.
Co-Ed Jamboree
Provides Cash
For W.U.S.
Half a million people, more or less,
attired in every possible style that
could pass as "sport," packed the
Georgia Street Auditorium when the
co-eds were hostesses at their annual
ball, Friday.
After twenty minutes' waiting outside the barred doors, while petulant
policemen attempted in vain to clear
the sidewalks, the impatient crowd of
business-like co-eds and sheepish men
surged into their terpsichorean Valhalla.
Music by Lafe Cassidy and his apprentices started the proceedings
which proceeded until 1:30. The inevitable quota of crashers was reinforced by divers Players' Club persons who arrived from Cloverdale in
time for a few dances.
Supper having been sacrificed for
the benefit of the Stadium fund, eighteen dances and two extras occupied
the program, and set up a new endurance record for University functions.
Patronesses for the affair were Mrs.
R, E. McKechnie, Mrs. L. S. Klinck,
Miss M. L. Bollert, Mrs. D. Buchanan, Mrs. R. W. Brock, Mrs. F. M.
McGill Dally-
In spite of the apparent disturbance, a great deal of apathy in connection with the Atheism editorial controversy was noticed by members of
McGill athletic teams on their visit to
Toronto this past week-end, according
to statements made on their return
yesterday morning. Practically never
was the truth of the statements in the
editorial discussed, the actions of the
Administrative Council and the general "smallness" of Toronto being
more often the topic.
Though few go as far as to uphold
the views expressed by the editor, A.
E. F. Allen, most of the student body
are at least ready to support him in
his right to express them. They do
not, however, support the general
policy of the "Varsity" in not allowing
for Toronto attitudes when making
such statements.
Compulsory subscription being the
rule at Varsity as at McGill for the
Daily. Varsity students and officers
of various organizations agreed that
the editors, in order to make sure that
their paper should serve the college as
arranged, should have refrained from
stirring up such trouble.
Dean Cancels Lectures For
Annual Track Meet
At the request of the Alma
Mater Society, all lectures and
laboratory work after 2 p.m. on
Wednesday, March 11th, will he
cancelled, on the occasion of the
Annual Inter-Class Track Meet.
Acting President
Dr. Harper of the Dominion Astronomical Observatory at Victoria
will speak to the students on "Spectroscopic Parallaxes." The meeting
which is held under the auspices of
the Physics Society will take place
Wednesday at 2:00 p.m. in Science
200. i
The observatory at Victoria is
| equipped with a telescope second only
to that at Mount Wilson. Dr. Harper
is a recognized authority on "Binary
Stars" on which subject he will address the B. C. Academy of Sciences
at the University, Wednesday evening.
La Causerie
There are a few vacancies for membership in La Causerie. Applications
may ho sent to Dorothy Patmore,
president, or Louise Poole, secretary,
until  March 17th.
To Take Part In Spring Play
Nancy Symes and Alfred Evans are taking prominent parts
in "The Young Idea," the Players' Club's sixteenth annual spring
production, which is scheduled to open on Wednesday night. Evans
will be remembered for outstanding work in more than one previous production. Miss Symes, on the other hand, is appearing on
P. C. boards for the first time to-morrow night.
Jazz School Days
Liven Pep Rally
Attempted by Aqua
Len Chamberlain and his Boys
proved the big noise Friday at the
first Soccer Pep Meeting to be held on
the Point Grey Campus by that club,
in an effort to stir up enthusiasm for
Saturday's game.
In a number of sparkling, enlightening numbers in the musical field
(commonly called extemporaneous
tomfoolery), the Boys displayed their
wares to a numerous audience. The orchestra throughout the program showed remarkable skill as quick change
artists, rushing backstage and fore-
stage with obvious glee, in efforts to
entertain the studes down front.
Grapefruit and lunch papers, supplied by some friendly souls in the
ranks of the Sciencemen, encouraged
the players to still greater efforts,
(and perhaps supplied refreshment
after the performance! Whoa, Typewriter, I didn't mean the lunch papers).
A potential prodigy, who, believe it
or not, learned to play at the violin
in five lessons (and lived) rendered
a beautiful selection, "Chowchopski's
Sonata in F-sharp minor-A-flat" accompanied by the piano, banjo, percussion, sousaphone, sax, and trumpet.
Finally, those present learned a
thing or two about the little Red
School Houses of their youth.
A little child, all dolled up in bib
and tucker, and displaying* inestimable sang-froid before the intellectual audience in the Auditorium, recited the modern version of all the
old time favourites, including "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star," and "Little
Miss Muffet."
As usual, on the request of the
students, Len and the boys played and
brayed "I'm a Ding Dong Daddy from
Dumas" with variations and plenty of
The zealous youngsters in the building showed their appreciation in the
usual manner, a sky-rocket for the
artists. The orchestra was composed
of seven players: Len (himself)
Chamberlain, boss and what-not; Len
Ingoldsby, sax; Bert Mitchell, banjo;
Al Ferris, percussion; Dick Croft,
sousaphone; Hal Lexier, trumpet; and
Monty   Richardson,  pianist.
Thanks, boys!
Instructions for 'Totem'
Distribution Issued
By Manager
Before March 21st $1.50
After   March 21st $2.00
Orders will be taken only at Auditorium 303, and books will be
exchanged about April 8th for
receipt given when payment is
10 a.m.—11 a.m.
12 noon—1 p.m.
Scholarship cards are now available at the Registrar's Office, Cheques
may be obtained Friday, March 13th.
Council Conquers
in A.M.S. Fiasco
Another Alma Mater Meeting "fell
through" on Monday when a quorum
failed to turn out to vote on Grantham's reinstatement. Before the president was informed of the insufficient
attendance H. Koshevoy moved:
"Whereas we feel that Ronald Grantham has been asked to resign for insufficient reasons, we hereby request
Students' Council to immediately reinstate Mr. Grantham as Editor-in-
Chief of the Publications Board."
In seconding the above motion,
Maurice DesBrisay presented his reasons for believing that Council had
acted wrongly in requesting the Editor's resignation.
He stated that more co-operation
was necessary. He believed that some
of Council's reasons for the resignation were out-of-date. At any rate, he
said, the students should give an opinion on the action taken by Council.
Another exodus at one o'clock ended all hopes of such an opinion although those who remained carried on
until after Council had stated their
An attempt was made to get same
official recognition of Grantham's
service but it seemed that nothing
could be done.
Coming Events
Dr. H. T. J. Falk, "Charity
without oganization lacks
virtue," Aggie 100, 12:10.
Dr. Kotschnig speaks on
"Student Life and Thought
in Europe." Arts 100, 3 p.m.
Election for President, Alma
Mater Society, 10 a.m.-4 p.m.
Arts Club Meeting, 8 p.m.;
6507 Maple Street.
Inter-Class track meet, Oval,
2:15 p.m.
First Night, Players' Club
production, "The Young
Speeches for position of Secretary, A.M.S., Auditorium,
Varsity vs. Adanacs, second
game of play-off, Westminster gym., 9 p.m.
Speeches    for    position    of
Treasurer, A.M.S., Auditorium, noon.
Speeches for office of L.S.E.
President, Auditorium, noon.
I. R. C.
A meeting of the I.R.C. will be
held Tuesday, March 10, at 8 p.m. at
the home of Dean Bollert, 1185-10th
Ave. West. Dr. Kotschnig will speak
on "Student Thought and Life in Europe,"
Players To Portray Characters
In Modern Comedy Of Youth
With two performances of "The Young Idea" to their credit,
the cast of this year's Spring Play have knocked the rough corners
off their presentation and are all prepared to make Wednesday
night's audience rock with gales of laughter at the amusing situations and sparkling lines of Noel Coward's masterpiece. The Faculty and the Board of Governors have been looking forward to this
important event for some time and will appear in full force in their
evening regalia.
Midge Ellis, who will be remembered as the girl who "ain't allowed to
divulge the name of the party" in the
Club's Fall presentation, will appear
in the women's lead as the sophisticated little girl, raised on the continent, who together with her brother
Sholto (Alf Evans) attempts to reunite her estranged parents. The parent who offers his hospitality all unsuspecting to the two young plotters
will be W. H. Cameron, and for a second time will be brought to realize the
error of his ways, as he did in the
Christmas Plays, by Midge Ellis who
seems to be getting quite a reputation
as a match-maker.
Campaigns Begin
As Elections
Campaign speeches for the various
offices on Council will be heard during
this week when the aspirants and
their adherents will give to the voters
the reasons why and how they should
be elected.
Oratory will be directed against
the electorate Wednesday noon in the
auditorium for the position of secretary of the A.M.S., while on Thursday noon in the very same auditorium
speakers will ask support for the
candidates for the treasurer's office.
Friday is the day for L.S.E. campaigning, and Monday noon in Arts
100 the fate of the office-seekers for
Women's Athletic Society and Women's Undergraduate Society will be
decided. In App. Sc. 100 during l'heure
de manger on Monday those who are
contending for the berth of representatives of the Men's Athletic Society
and Men's Undergraduate Society will
make efforts to talk votes to their
respective sides.
Elections for all these positions will
be held Tuesday, March 17, from 10
a.m. to 4 p.m. in the Council room.
All nominations for the above offices must be in by 6 p.m. today.
About 2:30 Monday afternoon the
Animal Husbandry Department of the
University received an emergency call
from the Library to the effect that a
mad dog was imperilling the health
of students and staff in the vicinity
of Chateau Ridington. Rising to the
situation with characteristic agricultural bravery, Professor Davis and
Rolf Forsythe sallied forth to rid the
campus of the threatening monster.
On arrival at the scene of the danger
the agrarians discovered lying beside
the lily pond a small brown canine
which had apparently been severely
injured in a fight with others of its
kind and as a result was frothing
slightly as the mouth. At a safe distance a number of the braver Arts-
men formed a self-appointed guard to
warn, any who might approach, of
the impending danger.
Professor Davis removed the dog
which was later destroyed as it was
found to be too badly hurt to recover.
Stars of Christmas Plays Re-appear
Another member of the cast who
appeared in the successful "Florist
Shop" at Christmas will be Chris Taylor, who has stopped his gum-chewing
and turned into the ardent lover who
finally persuades Nancy Symes, George's second wife, to leave George and
go with him to Jamaica, thus unconsciously aiding and abetting the two
children in their nefarious plans. Dorothy McKelvie, a Freshette, will interpret the part of George's divorced
wife, who lives in Italy and writes
novels during the time when she is not
educating her children. Jack Ruttan,
the suave crook who fleeces everybody
with "finesse," will show his versatility when he makes his entrance as Hiram J. Walkin, the man who is likable
because he is "obviously not of the
best American families."
Minor Characters Add Humor To Play
Minor roles supporting these principals will be portrayed by Ann Ferguson, the country bumpkin maid of
all work, who caused to much merriment last year, E. H. Tull who is making his first appearance under the auspices of the society, as is also Ruth
Bostock. Betty Buckland will try to
show the audience what a "Horsey Woman" is like, while R. I. Knight will
get all "het up and nervous" about the
genealogical tables of all his acquaintances. St. John Madeley, and Alice
Morrow will be butler and maid respectively.
When true to tradition the last line
of the play was spoken for the first
time last Friday night an enthusiastic though small audience at Cloverdale gave the cast three curtain calls
to signify appreciation of the actors'
brilliant efforts.
Ticket sales have been most encouragingly high, declares the head of
the committee. Nevetheless, rush
seats may be obtained from Tuesday
on, at noon hour in the box office.
The final meeting of the German
Club for the year 1930-31 was held
at the home of Miss Letty Hay,
Monday evening.
Miss Jean Woodrow and Mr. Ira
Schwartz were the guest artists. Miss
Woodrow sang two German songs
while Mr. Schwartz played a group of
selections by German composers, chief
of which were the last two movements
of Beethoven's "Appassionata." Unfortunately Mrs. McGeer, who was to
have sung a number of Schubert
songs was unable to attend, owing to
sickness. Dr. Maclnnes filled the
breach in the evening's program by
giving a brief illustrated talk on Bavaria.
Before the meeting broke up, Mr.
Kennett, on behalf of the Club,
thanked the honorary executive for
their interest in the organization, and
their support to all its activities. The
success of the Club during the last
year has been almost entirely due to
their  support.
New Funds Added
to Stadium List
Contributions to the Stadium Fund
not previously acknowledged follow:
Contributed by University Employees through S. Skinley, Anglican
Theological College.
Agronomy   $ 5.00
Poultry          3.60
Farm and Dairy      -     6.00
Gardens      1.00
Grounds     3.00
Boulevards     2.00
Workshops  23.00
Power House     6.00
Janitors  16.00
Police and Fire Dept.  10.00
Alumni Stadium Dance and
Subscriptions ....$ 332.17
Total   Alumni   Contribution
to the Campaign     416.17
Chinese   Students           60.50
R. P. Baker      20.00
John Cehovin               5.00
R. P. Stockton           5.00
Mrs.  B.  Paulsen 2.00
Pacific  Mills  Ltd. 10.00
C. Pipes 2.00
Burnaby School Board 30.00
Miss M. Palmer 5.00
Trans-Canada Finances
Ltd. 5.00
M. Byrne 5.00
Fund Total to Date    ....       $15,635.68 THE UBYSSEY
March 10, 1931
Cf)e mviitV
(Member of Pacific Inter-Collegiate Press Association)
Issued every Tuesday and Friday by the Student Publication* Board of the
University of British Columbia, West Point Grey.
Phone, Point Grey (11
Mall Subscriptions rate: 18 per year.   Advertising rates on application.
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF—Hlmle Koshevoy
Editorial Staff
Senior Editors i Bessie Robertson and Edgar Brown
_.. Sport Editor: Malcolm McGregor
Associate Editorsi Margaret Creelman. Mairi Dingwall, Kay Murray and Ntok Mussallem.
Assistant Editors: Mollle Jordan, R. Harcourt, Art McKensle and Cecil Brennan
.,.     '••i'll? E<"ior' Bunny Pound Exchange Editor: Kay Murray
Literary Editor: Frances Lucas. Assistant Literary Editor: Michael Freeman
Cartoonist: W. Tavender
_    _       „ „  .,    News Manager: Rlmle Koshevoy
^J^i Ng™«* Hiking, Don Dnvldson, R. L. Malkin. Oar Washington, B. Jaekson,
f'wkJf&WP'k £,*«,CM?nw,2?d' 3"2.n3 »«*<»••. f Millar. St. John Madeley,
Edith Mcintosh, B. Costain, Eleanor KUIam, Jean MeDlarmld. John Dauphinee,
Tom Row, Jean Jamteson, Barns Martin, Dorothy Thompson,
Anna Fulton, Sidney Aqua, Kay Crosby and E. N. Akerley
Laurel Rowntree, E. H. King, M. Nemets
Easiness Staff
..   _il,     „ .    Business Manager: John W. Fo»
Advertising Manager: Jaek Turvey. Circulation Manager: Reg. Price.
Advertising Assistants: A. 0. Lake and A. Kennedy
Business Assistants: Alf Allen, C. Cole, M. Alexander and J. Bardsley
Editors for the teste i
Senior: Bessie Robertson
Associates: Margaret Creelman, Kay Murray
Assistants: Art McKensle, Bob Harcourt
Sport Editor: M. McGregor
Sport Associate: Olive Self*
Weariness is the single effect received by anyone who has the
desire to show interest in the Alma Mater Society and its meetings,
when the recent fiascos as to these gatherings are regarded. Our
intelligent student body ventures into the auditorium hall, takes
its collective peek at the meeting through the curtains then wends
its way down to the Caf. again to discuss such inane matters
what's on for lunch and if one presidential candidate has more
soulful eyes Man the other.
It becomes a bore to the editorial writer to point out time and
again how childish is the attitude taken toward the vital matters
concerning the government of the undergraduates. If students
take no more interest than they have shown in the last two meetings they deserve every decree handed out to them by Council
whether it is wise or unwise.
Grantham's case, one that should have been settled by the
entire student body, was listened to by a handful of those decent
enough not to violate the common laws of politeness by leaving in
the middle of a speech. Thus a "no quorum" edict issued by Hutchison spoiled the chances for the much-maligned ex-editor to receive a fair hearing before the students of this university.
We wash our hands with a strong variety of soap of the whole
matter as to whether students are to have any say in any matter
concerning their own affairs and abide by the sayings of the guardians of the gates of appeal to the undergraduates. So endeth the
first lesson given to the 'Ubyssey,' one that shows how correct are
the opinions of the intelligentsia who deem any meeting of a mob
merely a moronic gathering.
Seen But Not Heard
With male debaters carrying out an annual program of intercollegiate contests, co-ed speakers seem to be lapsing into a silence
that controverts all traditions of their sex.
Formerly women of this university used to debate both with
teams from United States colleges and with local speakers. Now
the yearly oratorical contest forms the only opportunity for co-ed
forensic talent to make itself heard.
The Literary Forum, nee Scrap Book Club, has undertaken a
modest program of extemporaneous speeches that is a short step
towards remedying the present lack of oratorical activity. Yet a
great deal more could be done.
Next year, as a beginning, women's inter-class debates should
be arranged. These would provide training and bring to the fore
those speakers of inter-collegiate calibre who are doubtless in attendance at this institution.
No doubt much of the fault lies with the Debating Union
which is not or should not be exclusively a male organization. This
Club is the proper executive to make arrangements with American
colleges, such as the College of Puget Sound with which similar
contests have been held in the past.
The "Ubyssey" would like to see greater interest taken by coeds in extra-curricular affairs. At present women students limit
themselves to two or three minor branches of sport, certain clubs
and the one and only Co-ed Ball. In other respects they still
acquiesce to the Mid-Victorian dogma of inferiority.
Directing Spring Play
Sigh-Low Accused Of
Editor, the 'Ubyssey*
Dear Sir:—
The columnist who contributes occasional
efforts under the heading "Sigh-Low" has at;
tempted to reply to my last letter. Much as I
respect the opinions expressed by this able
journalist, I must say that his reply to my
criticism of the Government's refusal to trads
with Russia is somewhat muddled.
In the first place he speaks of "the Demo*
eratlc as wall as Capitalistic governments."
May I ask what democrats government Is not
also capitalistic? And another question—Is
there any such thing as a truly democratic
The last paragraph of the article In question is somewhat mixed up, but one gathers that
the countries that retaliate against Russian
propaganda and Russian dumping represent
"Democracy, baaed on Christian principles."
Now what is this talk of Christian prin*
ciplss? Is it Christian to retaliate, to insult,
to exclude? Is Capitalism itself a Christian
manifestation? Apparently, Mr. Editor, your
columnist's Christianity is of the type—the
very common type—that the University of To.
ronto student paper brands as 'practical atheism.'
I am still waiting for someone to arise and
justify the federal government's action In rejecting the Russian trade offer.
Yours sincerely,
When Edgar Meets Edgar
Editor, the 'Ubyssey'
Dear Sir:—-
I read in your last Issue with considerable
amusement and a great deal of pity, what I
suppose was meant to be a criticism of the
recent production of "The Pirates of Pan-
zance," put on by tha U.B.C. Musical Society
and produced by myself, and must say that the
remarks about the chorus were not very Insulting but piffle. Your local Petronlus evidently
does not know the difference between Musical
Comedy and Comic Opera, and I would like to
state that all stage directions were taken from
a stage guide specially prepared last year by
the D'Oyly Carte Opera Co. On making Inquiries I And that your critic has hardly arrived at the years of discretion and of course
while Ignorance may be excused up to a certain
point, It cannot be allowed to develop into
rudeness. Hia Ill-advised remarks do not bother
me, what I am concerned with is the probable
discouraging effect that they may have on the
enthusiasm and hard work of as loyal and
clever an aggregation of young people as it
has been my good fortune to be associated with
during the last 30 years. The only advice I
can give you Is to put your young would-be
critic in cold storage for 10 or 15 years during which time his judgment may mature, but
for the sake of your paper's reputation do not
print any more rubbish like his last effusion.
I shall be glad if you will print this letter as
I understand your publication is the apostle of
Free Speech, and after all what is sauce for the
goose is sauce for the gander.
Yours very truly,
We Didn't Have Room
Editor, the 'Ubyssey'
Dear Sir:—
A week ago you received from me a letter
re inter-class soccer. I was Informed that it
was In time for publication in the issue of
Tuesday, March 8. The letter did not appear
in this issue and also failed to appear in the
Issue of Friday, March 6. Why the letter was
not published I do not know, nor do I wish to
know particularly. What I do wish to protest
against is the fact that you allowed to be published a criticism, and an Inane one at that,
of the above-mentioned letter in a Sportorial
presumably written by the Sports Editor, while
at the same time you failed to publish the letter being criticised.
In doing this I believe that you have acted
very unfairly and that you have shown that
deplorable "lack of tact" so much talked about
In recent Issues of the 'Ubyssey.' That you
have some excuse I do not doubt, but nevertheless I believe that you have made a sad
mistake which ought to be corrected now and
avoided in the future.
As to the effusion of the Sports Editor,
what strikes me as particularly interesting is
the fact that he expresses in his Sportorial a
view which he has expressed on the campus
(and to me personally)—namely, which is the
best team in the Arts section. Why he puts
on a double face 1 do not know. What I de
know Is that in a league playing the brand of
soccer displayed in inter-class games on this
campus the best team cannot be judged by
records, especially when there Is a difference
between two teams of but 1 point and 1 goal.
And in this connection I claim that Education '81 has won most of Its games more
through good luck than good play, and only
good luck saved it from defeat at the hands of
Arts '81. And Arts '81 Is willing to prove
this In another game—If Education '81 can
And the time (or Inclination?) to play.
Sincerely yours,
All Is Forgiven
Editor, 'Ubyssey'
May I take this opportunity to apologize
to yourself, your staff, Students' Council, and
the Faculty Committee for certain insinuations I made 'in my letter published In the
'Ubyssey'  of  February  28,   1031,
Evidently the Alma Mater Society endorses
your actions in this matter and I was mistaken
as to the course of action that should be followed. The general exodus at Monday's meeting Indicated this.
Obviously there was no justiAcation in my
question: "Was Council elected to represent
the faculty or the Alma Mater Society?" I
apologize for the question and admit that
Council has been representing the Alma Mater
Society to the satisfaction of the vast majority.
Similarly I am forced by truth to withdraw
my Insinuation that Students' Council is a
"gown-adorned goose-stepping bodyguard" of
the administration which now assumes the duties of a "Arlng-squad." I admit again that
Council has acted sincerely In accordance with
the best interests of the Alma Mater Society
us that body sees At.
So I must apologize to ajl concerned for
creating trouble within the University over
something the University evidently believes to
be insufficient.
At  the name time, speaking purely as an
individual,   I   reiterate  my stand  that   Ronald
Grantham has received treatment unworthy of
the University of British Columbia.
Yours truly,
This column has been having adventures lately. Last week it had the distinction of* being headed "Muck-a-
Muck." This alone would have been
enough to fill the ordinary, common or
farden columnist with pride and joy.
lut the cup was not yet full; a sur-
firise of no common sort was prepar-
ng for the writer. I am a humble
soul at heart, I know my limitations;
and, knowing them, I keep within my
limits. I am modest, I am unaspiring;
I keep away from the great, all-important events, and tackle in my own
small way, those less conspicuous.
Picture, then, my perturbation,
when I saw under the above head an
article on the Co-Ed Ball! I said to
myself, "Surely I did not display the
tactlessness to take up such a controversial subject." I said further, "Surely I am not as good as this." And I
said, "I did not go to the Co-Ed Ball,
so how could I have written it?"
But there it undubitably was.
I have solved the difficulty. The
Editor for the issue must have decided to give me a break. Knowing
even better than I the limitations of
this column and the lamentable lack
of intelligence and ability of its
writer, he resolved to put something
worthwhile in it for once.
Law Club
The final meeting of the Law Club
of the year will be held on Tuesday
night, at 8:15 in the S.C.M. room, Auditorium 302. The meeting will take
the form of a mock trial. All members
are requested to attend as the election
of officers will take place for the corn-
in ar year.
Polyphase Slide Rule. Return
to J. Bardsley, Science '34.
I.—Snow in Sunshine.
There had been steady, driving
snow all day—dusty, small flakes, dry
and freezingly cold—and a bitter east
wind. Towards four o'clock the wind
gradually dropped and changed, and
the sun came softly out; at first not
even strong enough to stop the snow.
We were translated into a fairyland
of diamonds, full of swirling clouds
of silver as the wind blew the lessening flakes. The sun shone obliquely on
the white world, lighting it with wonder. Slowly the silver clouds grew
thinner and dissolved. The sunset
transformed diamond to gold, with
sapphire shadowings. Gray-blue darkness fell at last, leaving the luminous
world  to  the  sleigh-bells.
II.—Winter Afterglow
The western sun shone, white-gold,
on the gulf; elsewhere the water was
a strange, faint cobalt. The islands
beyond were misty gold like a magician's dream not quite come true.
The sunset turned to dull rose; in
the east, deep blue. In the north the
mountain-tops were pale against a
darkening sky. The eastern blue
tinged the new snow with faint Maeterlinck tints. The western rose made
it glow with ethereal pink. The white
hills, ghostly in the slowly enveloping
mist, reflected the sunset light faintly. The bright, thin-yellow lamps were
shining in the cold. And in the east a
round moon, like a piece of molded
cloud, was slowly brightening.
The next meeting of L'Alouette will
be held Tuesday, March 10, at the
homo of Dr. and Mrs. Seyer, West-
brook Crescent. Take the bus to West-
brook Crescent and walk to the fourth
house from Chancellor Boulevard.
The "Varsity"—
"The editorial applies no more to
students than it does to the average
citizen, and no more to our times than
it does to any age," stated Dr, W. B.
Lane, Professor of Ethics at Victoria
College, giving his opinion on Tuesday's editorial on atheism. "All
through the ages there has been conflict between the material and the spiritual world.
"If by practical atheism is meant
concern for one's bread and butter before regard for religion the editorial
might be partly justified. Students on
the average are no worse than the
general citizenry in regard to this
practical atheism, indeed I find that
many of the students I come in contact with have a deep religious feeling and a respect for their faith."
"Because a student criticizes religion there is no reason, logically, why
the college should be blamed. It might
happen in business," Professor G. S.
Brett pointed out. "Much depends on
what the editor means by atheism.
Many people who play golf on Sunday
and never set foot in church might object strongly to being called atheists."
Professor Brett did not believe that
there were many true atheists among
students and that there was certainly
no anti-atheism group here such as
was active in the States a few years
Oregon to Own
Research Post
Oregon "Emerald"—
Establishment of a marine biological station, with the natural facilities
unexcelled on the Pacific coast, to be
completed on Coos bay by the University of Oregon in time for use of summer school students, is announced
here, following news from Washington, D.C., that congress has passed a
bill conferring title of approximately
fifty acres of land in the Coos region
to the institution here.
The land, formerly held by the war
department, is declared to be ideal in
every way for a marine experiment
and research station, and has been
sought by the University for some
time. Marine life of a type highly desirable for biological work abounds at
this point, and in addition, nearby is
one of the finest tide marshes for tide
specimens known. This is at the point
known as South Slough.
Found at Co-Ed Ball a gold wrist
watch. Owner please see Jean Telford.
Women and Councillors
To the Movers of the Motion for my Re-instatement as Editor-in-Chief.
Denr Sirs:—
Perhaps it is not my place to take any
stand on the matter of your motion at this
time, but having heard that its passage would
result In the resignation of the Students' Council, I feel that I should Inform you that I
would accept re-instatement only If the present
Council continued in office.
Yours sincerely,
LOST—In Auditorium, lady's red Tom
Thumb umbrella. Finder please
leave at Book Store.
House Mother: When you came home
last night, you said you'd been to the
Grand. Now you say it's the Metropolitan.
Parker:      When I came home I
couldn't say Metropolitan. —Ex.
Professor F. G. C. Wood is directing "The Young Idea," the sixteenth
annual spring production of the Players' Club. Connected with the Club
ever since its founding, Professor
Wood has been responsible for many
of its notable triumphs.
Rettie Tingley, member of last
year's U.B.C. Senior "A" Basketball
Team, is now captain of the Margaret
Eaton quintette.
McGill University debaters defeated
the visiting Porto Rico Team.
McGill University recently, produced "The Beggar on Horseback,"
a satire on the "high pressure" life
of today.
Harvard hockey sextette defeated
McGill seniors 2-0 recently.
Freshmen will not be allowed to
vote at the next A.M.S. elections at
Queen's University, if proposals of
the student executive are sanctioned.
At the present moment McGill University nold nine inter-collegiate
championships, thus setting a record.
These are in basketball, English rugby, golf, gymnasium, hockey, soccer,
swimming,  tennis  and  track.
The "Varsity"—
"There is not as much difference
between the University of Paris and
the University of Toronto as one
would think," stated Professor E. K.
Brown to "The Varsity" in an interview yesterday. Professor Brown
spent two years studying at Paris and
is in a position to be an authority on
the subject.
The question arose over an article
which appeared in the Round Table
of "The Varsity" on Friday, which
gave a humorous picture of a class
in the University of Paris.
Professors at the University of
Paris do not give more than three lectures a week. Also they have no social contact with the students at all.
The professors have no offices in the
university proper. Students who wish
to see them either make appointments
to meet them at their homes in the
professor's sitting rooms. They are
very willing to help a student in his
Evening Dress
Gentlemen who wish to attend
meetings or "functions" where
Evening Dress is considered
de rigueur can be accommodated
at the Parisian Costumiers (opposite the Grosvenor Hotel on
Howe Street) for the modest
sum of $2.50 per evening. Shirts,
Ties and Collars extra
Only One Address
Parisian Costumiers
Opposite Grosvenor Hotel
Phone Sey. 8499
d)M» SMSSS1M ♦
Sey. 7131
djie inn <"♦
The Finest la Canada—11 Chain
Special Attention to Vanity Students
Then there's the proverbial frosh
who thinks that his economics prof
rides to class on a business cycle.
Is the Spice of
Use the
Ubyssey Columns
Phone Point Grey 540
Badminton Rackets
A. G. Spalding & Bros.
424 Hastings W.    Sey. 6404
K. E. Patterson. B.A.
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in Guarda and Slip on
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I      BARGAIN MATINEE       )
| DAILY, 11 TO 1 )
i  ADULTS  _ 25c )
i CHILDREN    10c >
j Regular   Prices | March 10, 1931
Whit People Are Saying:
Timely Topics
By Tom Thumb
"The time has come," the Walrus
I said, "to talk of many things."
The daily newspapers have much
I to say concerning the grain situation,
the Indian situation, the political situation, and the geographical situation
but they remain absolutely silent on
I the weather situation. Perhaps they
I are responsible to a Students' Council or do not dare to display a deplorable lack of tact by discussing
such a touchy topic.
Few people realize that in the last
two months enough rain has fallen
Ion the campus to form a lake which
would stretch from the Arts Building to the Stadium site and back
I again. Somehow or other it has been
drained away. Perhaps it has soaked
| into the ground.
And then again, there has been
I enough sunshine in the last two
I months to have given a Fiji-Islander
I the spring-fever In mid-summer.
I There has been sufficient wind since
I the first of the year to blow away at
lone sweep the C.O.T.C. orderly room,
I the Council office including its worthy
Iinhabitants, and the Cafeteria; that
lis, if it came all at dnce. I regret to
state that it has not.
(The less said about them the bet-
I might well repeat the parenthet-
I ical clause of the preceding paragraph
but I am tempted to write a rigma-
Irole about  a reticent  Council.  Now
I that the responsibility of looking after
Ithe  "Ubyssey"  has  fallen  on  their
j mighty  shoulders   one  can   imagine
with what diligence and industry they
will  apply themselves to their task.'
After reading and re-reading each is- j
sue  with  such   astounding  assiduity j
as would make a proof-reader blush
they might decide to take such tactful
|actions as these:
The request for the resignation of!
I the Sport  Editor because of a "de-
|plorable lack" of taste.
The request for the resignation of
| the   Aggie   columnist   because   of   a
'deplorable lack" of horse-sense.
The request for the resignation of
| the Literary Editor because of a "de-
] plorable lack" of ignorance.
The request for the resignation of
I the Senior Editor because "already"
was spelt with one "1" instead of two j
which,  according  to  Council,  would
I make an "1" of a difference in the
Dean Speaks Obscurely
to Innocent Sophomore
Take a lesson from one who knows
and don't go interviewing Dean Buchanan unless you have a clear conscience. All we'd missed was just a
little few lectures—and after all, if
a Sophomore can't miss a lecture or
two without the Dean knowing all
about it—say, what is the University
coming to? Personally, we think that
Dean Buchanan should be on the
"Ubyssey." Why, the man can talk in
metaphors. Like fairy stories? Well,
this is what the Dean shows to the
An English bobby, pacing up and
down behind barbed wire, protecting
from the shrieking mob o soap box
orator in Hyde Park. And the subject
was the worthless, useless, interfering English bobby.
We'd like to pretend we were bright
all by ourselves, but somehow we remembered a gentle hint about Faculty Council. We could sort of see the
resemblance between the bobby and
Faculty Council, but us and the howling mob—oh! Dr. Buchanan!  !
Dr. McDonald: I want to go on
record as having read the whole
of Clarissa Harlowe.
F. G. C. Wood: One speaks of
a Freshman's ignorance but of
course one only remarks on a
Senior's lack of knowledge.
Student Body: Whatl Another
Alma Mater meeting.
Mr. Morgan: No, you're no
friend of mine.
Freddie Wood: Gary Cooper is
hardly Barrie's idea of a great
hunk of Scotland.
Aide Evans: We went over
big in Cloverdale.
Sheila Doherty (after soccer
pep meeting): That's the first
pep meeting I've ever been to.
St. John Madeley: I can always blow my nose.
Don Hutchison: We are only
here for four years and gone tomorrow.
Prof. Wilcox: Bath was more
of a social centre then, than
Mairi Dingwall: Oh, that's
Miss Hallamore: My idea of
heaven is a place where people
know a strong verb from a weak
one and an inseparable prefix
from a separable one.
Election Deficits
Cause Downfall
One, (not we) should compliment
last year's voters in electing a canny
man as President of the A.M.S. Agriculturally speaking, he knows his onions, from high and lofty ideals beautifully expressed, to tact and sob stuff.
Apropos of the last paragraph,
take tact for instance. Having found
out that neither the President of the
University nor the Faculty Committee,
requested the resignation of Mr.
Grantham, ("this charge is a base
lie" or words to that effect as spoke
by Mr. Hutchison) one wonders if the
Council displayed tact by requesting
the resignation of Mr. Grantham,
thereby weakening the position both
of the Editor-in-Chief and any future
Council. They may have set up the
precedent, that when any student in an
executive position falls foul of the
Administrative Bodies of the University, he shall be called upon to resign.
There seems to be an awfully bad
habit around the University. Of
course there are numerous Bad Habits,
some affecting some and others,
others. This seems to be the one inter-faculty bad habit.
It comes into prominence chiefly
around this time of year, the period
of Campaign and Election. You meet
a pal sunning himself on the Library
steps and you sit down beside him.
"Looks like rain," you advance.
"Oh, yeah?" bitterly he thrusts it
at you. You shrink.
"Speaking of the weather," you
remark brightly, "who are you voting
for as President of the A.M.S.?"
"And of what interest are my politics to you, anyway?" His bark was
becoming a bite.
"Personally, it interests me very
much. Already I have put $2.00 on
Mr. Earl Vance and only $1.70 on
Mr. Fred .Grimmett, and I thought I
might find in you one who would be
pleased to raise my F. G. to $2.00.
Then all shall be happy under my
breast pocket."
"Churl! Sap! Id jut!" he hissed.
"Fool Rat! Worm! Dense insane Es-
sondaler! Have you never taken
Maths 7, or delved in the mysteries of
radio-chemical reactions? Can't you
understand that as your debts stand
at present, when the great moment
arrives, and the better man has won,
no matter who proves to be the better
man, you, jackass, will feel, spineless
one, neither the jingle of ungainly
gotten silver in your nether pocket,
nor will you feel the constant pleading of the inner man with sinking
I bowed my head in submission to
the superiority of his intellect. At
last the great truth dawned upon me.
It was all just as he said. I was a
rabbit. No one could deny it, least of
all myself. I mopped my forehead and
arose. Speculation filled my soul.
Twenty dollars graduation fee. There
was a chance it might be needed. Now
was my chance to show my honored
father that he had not given me a
four-year college education in vain.
I would earn my own graduation fee!
I threw myself up the library stairs
and slid down the railings of the
stacks. I made good time and proved
my ability and snappy salesmanship
by emerging to the Upper World at
the end of an hour with I.O.U.'s to
the amount of $20 in the case of—
| proving himself the better man and
winning the election for President of
the A.M.S. the following day.
The following day arrived. I had
gone home to study, my nerves not
being strong enough to stand the
strain from the quad. I was just digging into the beef-steak stew, the
week-day evening meal at our frat
I house, when the phone rang.
"What? Oh . . . Well, oh of course
I never really thought he would.
Toughbreak, though. What? Me? Oh,
no, I don't bet. Well, very occasionally.
Yes, I had a small sum on him. Inconsiderate trifle. Thanks for letting
me know. I'm always interested in
the   Alma   Mammy."
Yes, I was. I retired to my cubbyhole and looked in the cupboard. Three
pairs of worn-out oxfords. In my
drawers, several vile-colored ties,
shaving creams and lotions in
screwed-up tubes. My book-case. Rows
of texts, discarded since last September, when they were new and shiny.
No go! Who buys anything this time
of year! Twenty dollars! I buried my
Mucky Muse Ousted
By Intellectoalists
We arrive at J. W. Boyd's Printing and Box-making office at five
minutes past four o'clock. Just as we
thought. No one there, We sit and
smoke sorrowfully for a little while,
then when the solitude becomes depressing to set ourselves to the wearisome task of reading the galleys.
"Where is the proof? How are we
supposed to know how to spell Kozoolin? One or two o's? An "i" or an
"e"? I've corrected "Mackedie" in the
last four Senior B Rugby write-ups.
Presently the Senior Editor strolls
in. "Oh, hello j you here? Isn't it almost time for supper?"
We are not going to be put off
to-night. Completely ignoring the last
remark we come to the point: "Is there
or is there not going to be a Muck
"Just as you say. Just as you say.
Have you any stuff?"
"It isn't stuff and I've got some.
Remember, page three is Muck today!"
With those words peace descends
on Boyd's Printing office.
Several proof-readers slip in and
are sternly bade to return to their
lodgings and apply earlier next week.
The associates murmur gently to
themselves about synonyms for "subject," "discusses," "students." One
head is written and all is jubilation
for a while.
More galleys appear on the scene.
"Oh, bother," the senior Editor
frowns. "This picture can't go on the
front page and it can't be left out.
Let me see. How about a little corner
on page three?"
We look up threateningly. Just as
we had feared. "I'm terribly sorry,
but page three has no spare space."
"Of course not. I remember. Sorry,
from the S. E. Then, when no one is
looking, he dashes up the stairs to
the printing machines. On his return he has satisfied little smile on.
"I'm really extremely sorry," he
apologizes, "but there can be no Muck
head. There are two columns of ads
on page three.
We fly off the handle at that. "Do
you realize, Mr. Senior Editor, how
many times our famous and well-beloved Muck head has appeared upon
page three of our enlarged and more
reasonably-priced paper since Christmas? What is the point of a wretched
little, scrawny little Muck-a-Muck in
4 type? I ask you! What the students
need to-day is symbolism—and what
more is the Muck head than the symbol of an undergrade existence? College Humor flying from the face of
Shrdlu Etoin, Muse of Muck. The
student flying from the dread hand of
exams. Simply lovely parallel! Now,
how about the head?"
The Senior Editor tore his hair.
His eye wandered into the box containing page one material. He shook
his head.
"Art for art's sake may be all
right in its place," he muttered rather abstractedly, "but we don't all
read the Koran. However, if this
S.C.M. article, "he dove into the box,"
and this V.C.U. write-up, and this
stuff on the International Relations
Club don't go in to-day's issue, we
shall be forced to suspend publication."
"Terrible," we sighed. "Let's consider this calamity under the influence
of whole wheat toasted sandwiches
and coffee. It was agreed. We tore
down the forty-five steps to Hastings
street and were soon engrossed in a
deep discussion on "The Modern
Drama—as seen by a college student."
The next day the "Ubyssey" appeared. Page three was lovely to look
upon. A large photograph, four inches
square, decorated the corner. Two
long columns of ads supported three
and a half columns of few-paragraphed club write-ups. In one lone
corner was a modest box: "What
people are saying." Shridlu wiped his
eye carefully and went back to sleep.
Elections here again?
And why?
I do not know.
They really seem
A futile dream
And disillusionment.
Who wants a Council?
Not we, say the students.
Who wants to he a Councillor?
Not  we, says Council.
And yet, elections here again
As thouah it mattered.
\ Litany CoronerI
"All li Oyer and Done With/'
Qaotk lonrnfal Students
Varsity is settling downl—
No more canvassers haunt the town,
With, "Could you give—well, any sum,
And help us build our stadium?"
The track and field are under way,
The noise grows louder every day,
And   students   slumbering   in  their
Are wakened by the awful rack(et).
The noble Councillors smile and sigh
To think their term is passing by.
A pleasant year?—"Oh, yes. indeed,
We've given the students what they
We've kept the rowdy ones in tow,
There's scarcely been one Science row.
The A. M. S. has come to life,
At least with meetings they are rife.
The Pub Board sits and does its work,
'Though   vanquished   by   Council   it
doesn't shirk
Its Job of bringing out a paper,
And   sometimes   makes  the   Council
The   Rugby  teams   have   had  their
The cups have gone the other way.
The Basketball is still on top—
They keep the others on the hop.
The last pep meeting is held at noon—
The Soccer team will study soon.
The lecture room is the rendevous
Of Seniors, Juniors, Freshmen too,
And note-books open and pencils click
While students force their minds to
On dusty history and tangling maths,
Instead of strolling through the paths
Which beckon them all on a sunny
Alas, exams are four weeks away!
Saturday morning.
The waitresses
Where the scores of students
Being boarding-house fed,
Toast and coffee
In the morning
In the caf,
The coffee-pot was
But no one
The caf. looked
The tables glistened.
No dirty bags of
Cheesy bread
Pound cake
Long, white tables.
(Long and, white,
White and cold,
Making one hum
"St. John's Infirmary Blues.")
The hours
The silence
With the coffee.
At twelve,
A dozen tired youths
Into the caf.
One yawned.
"These women!
Mine took
To an awful joint,
And didn't get me home till 6 a.m.!"
face in my hands. Eventually I
raised my head and my fingers felt
for my fountain pen. I gulped, swallowed my pride, and did the deed.
Later on I slipped quietly out of
the house and posted the letter to
my father, and returned home to a
sleepless pillow. Never again would
I yield to the Bad Habit or to a pal
who called me a Worm. Never!
U.B.C. Students
Reliable cook-housekeeper desires appointment
for fall term; capable of taking charge of
about fifteen male or female students. Have
had long experience in that capacity.
Apply   1534  Balsam   Street,  Suite  28.
Theses and Essays Typed Neatly
Terma Moderate
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Change to
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"POKER HAND" in each package of 20
University Book Store
Hours: 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Saturdays, 9 a.m. to 1 p.m.
Loose-Leaf Note Books, Exercise Books and Scribblers
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cards, tallies, napkins, etc., arranged in suitable groups for
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Phone Trinity 1311 •    THE UBYSSEY
March 10, 1931
Varsity Hoopsters One Up in Title Series
Varsity's youthful basketball players proved that their previous victories over the Canadian champion Adanacs were neither
accidents nor flukes by giving the Westminster boys a 17-11 pasting at the Varsity gym in the first game of the Vancouver and
District League playoffs Saturday evening.
Varsity looked plenty good in their
victory and especially during the second half when with Henderson off on
four personals the students held the
Westminster aggregation to one basket for the final eight minutes of the
Bob Osborne gave the 1400 fans the
first opportunity to cheer in the first
two minutes of the game when he netted a pretty one hand shot for their
first points. McEwan and Butler put
the champions into the lead with spectacular baskets and from then on the
Adanacs stepped out until at one
stage of the proceedings they were
leading by a 7-3 margin.
Varsity  then  decided  things  had
gone far enough and started to work to cut down
the lead. Adanacs scored
a beautiful basket at this
time from a throw in from
the Varsity bench but to
their utter discouragement
the hard-hearted referees
decided it was all highly
illegal because the West-       c? Lee
minister   team   had   used   Varsity's
practice ball, in their haste. The play
was called back and the
proper ball put into play,
but   before   the   Adanacs
had recovered from their
embarassment Varsity had
tied the score 7-7 and it
was half time.
The Adanacs seemed to
still be brooding over the
error lor tnu.i	
elsewhere   '*<   fU^   -
half and Osborne and Nicholson scored
enough points to make the game safe
for our worthy cause.
During the last few minutes of the
game with Henderson off on personals the Adanacs staged a determined
rally but could not find their bearings
or whatever it is that the basketball
players use to score baskets and didn't even annoy the Varsity boys unduly.
The teams:
Varsity—Henderson (1), Nicholson
(4), Campbell (2), Lee (1), Alpen,
Osborne (6), Tervo (3), Chapman.
Total 17 points.
Adanacs—Mayers (1), Hood, Shiles,
Fraser (2), McEwan (6), Butler (2).
Total 11 points.
Stranger: I represent a society for
the prevention of profanity. I want
to take profanity entirely out of your
life and—
Lucas: Hey, mother. Here's a man
who wants to buy our car.
Finlay: Something seems wrong
with this engine, it—
The Blonde: Don't be silly, wait
until we get off the main road.
League Champs. Extended
Lack of energy due to after effects
of the Co-Ed Ball was the alibi given
by members of the Varsity grass
hockey team when they went down before the leading league Cricketers
2-1, in the final game of the season at
Connaught Park on Saturday.
While the student  squad did  not
Eroduce quite the form which it ex-
ibited to defeat Vancouver last week,
the game was nevertheless, fast
throughout. The first session was
scoreless being featured by the work
of Bill Selder in goal for the collegians.
Shortly after the start of the second canto Stokes countered for Cricketers following a scrimmage in front
of the Blue and Gold fort. Finnie
made it two about five minutes later.
Stevenson played his usual good
game at right wing and it was one
of his centres which DesBrisay succeeded in banging home for the students' only tally.
Spurrier was a tower of strength
for Varsity, breaking up many rushes
by the fast Cricketer front line while
Sangha gave a good account of himself at full back.
The team:—Selder, Lee, Sangha,
Jakeway, Spurrier, Holmes, Ward,
Knight, DesBrisay, Semple, Stevenson.
Crystal Pool will be the scene of
the weekly splash meet Wednesday
night when the Varsity maids and
men are billed to hold an evening
event with the Crescent and West Van.
which last is short for Vancouver.
This is a great event in the history
of the club because all proceeds, large
or little will be turned over to the
Varsity Stadium Fund which created
quite a furor for a few weeks.
It is rather an unusual thing for
students to turn out to swim meets
but it has been done before and might
even be done again.
The locals have an array, of talent
which is nice to gaze upon. Swimming races, diving competitions and
medleys whatever they are, will be included in the programme.
Wednesday night, at eight of the
clock at the Crystal Pool and all for a
small charge.
If the Senior Editor is kind enough, on page two of this issue
will be found a second effusion from the land of Grant and signed
by Georgie Grant, chief of all the little Grants.
We will allow the Editor himself to explain why the first comic
strip was not published and will devote ourselves to the amusing
remarks in the present outburst.
This seems to us to be the ravings of a spoiled child who cannot get what he wants. Of course it was just too bad if Arts '81
did not win the league but they have only themselves to blame.
It's no use crying over spilt milk and after all this is not the first
occasion on which the best team has not won.
Personal opinion may tell the writer that the seniors were the
best squad but league statistics say differently and they are the
best judge of consistent play.
Incidentally it is not particularly nice for the arrogant Georgie to bring personal opinions into the controversy. As* an im-
gartlal observer a fellow may think one thing but as a clufl official
is views can be quite different without being two faced.
The first outburst was quite well put but the second in this
issue is undoubtedly an example of flagrant bad sportsmanship
which is only too common around the campus. Never mind, Georgie, go in the corner by yourself and have a good cry. You may
feel better.
Varsity Laddies
To Tickle Dust
Trip to Taconu Billed
Varsiy men and women cinder
pounders will be out there on the old
Oval Wednesday afternoon getting on
intimate terms with the track and
field and all for the honour of their
respective classes.
For this, ladies and gentlemen, is
the eleventh annual inter-class track
meet, according to Leo Gansner, grand-
daddy of all U.B.C. tracksters.
After the well-known smoke and
dust has been washed off the local
team to encounter the College of Puget Sound will be chosen.
This last mentioned affair will take
place Saturday, March 21 and the
lucky ones will travel to Tacoma to
investigate running conditions there.
Eliminations are billed for this Saturday, in the two-mile event at least,
and a practice for the other Mara-
thoners and sprint artists is being
thrown in gratis, same time, same
Dr. Bricker and Dave Richardson,
college coaches who have aided the
club and the team will be among those
present. The former will pay special
attention to pole vaulting and hurdles.
Mr. Richardson has spent the past
two weeks instilling knowledge into
distance men, which may or may not
bear fruit Wednesday.
Richardson has also taken an active
part in the Industrial Championships
of the great republic to the south and
has also competed in Eastern Canada.
In spare time he manages the White
Heather Cafe at Alma and 10th where
all hungry studes are invited to call.
It is hoped that Wednesday afternoon lectures will be cancelled by
courtesy of President Klinck. But
this is merely an added attraction.
Prof. H. T. Logan will be starter
and pop the ancient pistol while Doc.
Garnet G. Sedgewick will also be
there and this should draw mobs of
Eleventh Annual Varsity Inter-Class Track Championships
Judges:  Col. Wllklns, Prof.  Davis
Starter: Prof. Logan
Timers:  Dr.   Sedgewick,   Prof.  Vernon.
Jasper Wolverton, Sc. '24 1910
Garret Livingston, Arts '24 1921
Al Buchanan, Arts '2<t ...i 1922
Hugh  Russel, Ag.  '24 1928
Harry Warren, Sc. '26 1924
Hon. Pres. Dr. Davidson
Pres. Leo. Gansner
Sec. Treas. Jack Curia
Wednesday, March 11,1931
naroia racvviiiiarr
Arthur Fell, Sc. '
Gavin  Dirom, Se.
s,  Aris
Starting at 2:15 p.m.
Gavin Dirom,  Sc.
WCIAU Records
U.B.C. Records
Is vent
100 yds. Heats
3 mile
S '30,
15 min. 27 1/6 Bee.
'30,    16 min. 11 4/5 sec.
Leo Gansner             '
100 yd». (women)
A '29.
12 1/5 sec,
'29,                 18 1/5 sec.
rhelma Mahon
Broad Jump
A  '29,
21 ft.  4%  In.
'30,                 20  ft.   6  In.
Ralph Thomas
Pole Vault
M '28,
... 10 ft. 10Vj In.
'30,                  11 ft. 4  In.
Bob Alpen
Hlnrh Jump (women)
A '30,
  4 ft. 7% in.
'27,                     4 ft. 4 In.
Mary Carter
100 yds. Finals
A   '28,
10 1/6 sec.
'24                   10 2/5 see.
Harry Warren
Arthur Fell
Ralph Thomas
880 yds.
M '24
2 min. 3 sec.
'26,        2 min. 3 3/6 sec.
H. McWilliams
16 lb. Shot
A '25,
40 ft. 2 in.
'30,              86 ft.  7% In.
G.  Ledingham
Broad Jump (women)
A '30,
16 ft. 9Vj In.
'24.               13 ft. 6Vj In.
D. Murray
High Hurdles
A '26
16 2/6 sec.
'28.                   16 2/5 sec.
Arthur Fell
60 yds.   (women)
A '29
8 sec.
New  event
220 yd*.
M   '24
22  see.
'23,                  28  3/5  sec.
Horry  Warren
A  "26,
121 ft. 6 in.
■23.                104   ft.   6   In.
J. L. Ramsell
2 mile Relay
'28,             9 min. 14 sec.
Arts   '30
Hluh Jump
M '29,
5 ft. 9 In.
•23.              6 ft. 9 2/5 in.
Hugh Russell
1   mile
S '30,
4 min. 35 1/5 sec.   -2g,              \  m|n. 40 sec.
Bill Selby
Itnuobnll Throw (women)
•27,            77 ft.  11 Vj  In-
Torchy  Bailey
A  '20,
164  ft.   11  in.    .„„_             142  ft.  8V4   in.
Bob Alpen
■III)  yds.
M  '24
52  1/6  sec.    .20                     52  4/5  sec.
Norman  Terry
SO  yds.   Reluy   (women)
A   '30
130  ft.   4  in.
■24                            2 min.
Arts '27
'30,                  119 ft. 6 in.
G.  Ledlnghnm
4 :26
SSO yds.  Relny
Low Hurdles
M  '26,
No hu
1 min. 33 sec.
'28,              1 min. 37 sec.
Arts '31
Javelin (women)
No competition
Discus   (women)
No competition
Sweet Revenge
For Soccermen
Chilliwack Thrashed 5-0
Chilliwack's all star soccer team
returned to Cowland sadder but very
much wiser Saturday after absorbing
a 6-0 plastering from the Varsity
eleven at Connaught Park.
The students won as they pleased
and were seldom in actual danger. Varsity raided on the kick-off and after Al.
Todd's pretty effort skimmed the bar,
Kozoolin netted from short range. The
forwards combined nicely, Latta and
Wright dropping in any good centres.
Latta got the second goal with a bullet-like cross shot, after several great
saves by the Chilliwack goalie.
The U.B.C. defense had little to do,
the Country forwards only boring in
once for the college keeper to clear.
After the lemons, Chilliwack had
more of the play and Roberts and
Chalmers had some difficulty repelling
the advance. Al Todd took play back
again and Kozoolin shot twice against
the post but nodded in the rebound.
Imediately afterwards Al. Todd was
sandwiched in the penalty area and
referee King awarded a penalty.
Todd took the shot and got a great
hand for deliberately batting the ball
to the goalie.
Todd got his goal later, however,
when Kozoolin put him through to
score easily.
The All-Stars came back to Varsity
territory but their shooting was poor
and the Varsity keeper was not unduly worried.
Kozoolin scored his third goal just
before the close to wind up a good
Al. Todd was the best man on the
field, his scheming being responsible
for the magnitude of the score. Kozoolin settled down better at centre
and distributed his passes well. Latta's runs were feature while his team
work with Todd was pretty to watch.
Bunny Wright showed great improvement over last week while Dave Todd,
though obviously nervous did some
neat things.
Costain was the best half back with
Cox a close second. Waugh was not ur
to standard, his passes being wild.
Roberts was the pick of the backs,
Chalmers being right off colour.
Of Chilliwack, the goalkeeper and
Swift at outside right, were the best.
Tonight's the night "when the Varsity Co-Ed basketers intend to step
out and hand young Conservatives the
old and battered lemon thereby annexing the B.C. Championship.
The game is slated to take place at
Bob Brown's downtown arena, known
among basket circles as V.A.C.
The college Amazons are one game
up already which makes matters tough
for the political bosses. Furthermore,
the Blue and Gold clad, or are they
clad, ladies should have no difficulty
in disposing of the Y. C.'s again, or
even  several times.
Wrinch:      Have you read 'Kenil-
Bischoff: Naw, I hate dog stories.
"Curse it! Curse it!" hissed the villain, snatching at the fair maiden's
"No, it ain't either," she retorted,
"it's a girdle."
Todd calls his fraternity pin the
"soldier" because it has been on so
many fronts. —Ex.
Students Keep In Running By 6-1 Win
By defeating V.A.C. on Saturday at Athletic Park Canadianl
Ruggers came within striking distance of the league championship.!
Sweeping down in the third quarter after an evenly-fought flrstl
half the squad bucked and ran to a 6-1 win. I
The first quarter was featured by the end runs of Morrow and!
Potts. Morrow ran back a punt thirty yards and Potts followed upl
by running around left end for another thirty. I
Varsity pressed hard in the second!
quarter and finally Doug. Gordonl
booted a long punt for one point. I
Shortly afterwards Knight completed!
a twenty-five yard forward pass. Mc-|
Knight received but was unable to|
get away for more than a few yards.)
No Gain for Tories on First Return
Varsity's senior "A" girls provided
too much opposition for the Young
Conservatives in the first game of the
women's playoffs Saturday night and
the Tories took it in the chin 27-12.
The Varsity team was simply too
good and outclassed the politicians at
all stages of the game. Mary Campbell completely discouraged the Conservative guards and piled up 11
points in spite of their best efforts.
Varsity started out
slowly in the first half
and the Tories managed to
hold the Co-Eds fairly
well for the first two quarters. In the third quarter
Jean Whyte and Mary
Campbell started to score
in a big way and continued to do so in spite of
numerous time outs for consultations
and caucuses by the politicians.
The third quarter
was the same or even
more so and the game
ended in the midst of
an orgy of Varsity
All the Varsity team
were playing at the top
of their game which
means they were far
too good for anything
the the Tories had to offer. Mary
Campbell and Jean Whyte led the
scoring while Thelma Mahon made
most of the openings.
Varsity—C. Menten (1), J. Whyte
(8), T. Mahon (2), M. Campbell (11),
L. Tourtellotte (1), G. Munton (4),
V. Dellert. Total 27 points.
Conservatives—E. Silverthorne, E.
Hunter, D. Blackburn (4), B. McLeod
(2), B. Passerini (6), P. Malcom, G.
Britton. Total 12 points.
The Varsity line was working litel
a charm but V.A.C. managed to makel
a long punt to the deadline as the|
half closed.
The line broke great holes in thel
V.A.C. squad in the third period andl
after long bucks by Knight and runsl
by Morrow and Hamlin, Morrow!
went around right end for a touchdown.
The fourth  quarter found  V.A.C.|
fighting desperately in Varsity territory but the line held.
The game was featured by the great|
work of the Varsity line which out-
charged the clubbers on almost every|
Name P. W. L.D. Ptt.1
Meralomas     8     6 2     0   121
Varsity   7     4 2     1     91
V.  A.  C  8     8 8     2     S
Cougars  _  7     0 8     111
Sport Summary
Varsity 8; V. A. C. 1;
Varsity 17; Adanacs 11;
Senior 'A* Women 27;
Conservatives 12;
Varsity 5; Chilliwack 0;
Varsity 1; Cricketers 2;
Women Still Hungry
All women interested are urged to
attend the Women's Athletic Banquet.
Wednesday, March 11, at 6:80. It will
take place in the cafeteria immediately after the track meet and ample
time will be given for going to the
play. Tickets are on sale by members
of the W. A. Executive.
Students of the Qlasses
Don't let your interest in University affairs
cease with graduation! Get the latest campus
news at first hand through the columns of the
"Ubyssey," and do your part in the up-building of
an infored and appreciative public opinion on
University matters which is of vital importance
to the future growth and progress of this institution.
The "Ubyssey" will be mailed to you anywhere for only $3.00 for the entire 1931-32 session. You may pay when subscribing if yon wish;
otherwise, you will receive a bill in due course of
next year.
Hand in your name and address to Reg. Price
at the Publications Office, or sign the lists which
will be posted on the campus.
"Keep  in  touch   with
through the "Ubyssey."
your   Alma   Mater
Reg. Price,
Circulation Manager.


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