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The Daily Ubyssey May 25, 1948

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 Mangled In Fort Camp Pervert Slashing
ACADIA
TRAP NETS
in
BROUSSON SIN D
-^
\\
HUflllltaWlllMflllfaffll
SLASH-ARTIST STRIKES-
Atrractive, demure young chorine,
iFifi LaRue, proved lo be the victim
'of  a  hunted  knife-wielding  pervert
early today when the modest chorine
almost-nude,   was  found  hanging  m
a little-used hut m Fort Camp. Police
believe she had been there for some
I time.     Miss   LaRue   has  been   well-
jknown for some time as the chorine who has added dignity and
{prestige to her profession, by "givin' 'em what they want" in
aesthetic dancing entertainment.    (Set:    story    o»"     iage    10.)
*	
FRAT MAN DIES
•
SEE STORY PAGE 2
EXCLUSIVE!!
Mad Dog  Fiend
Strikes Campus
Oh My! Swank Sorority
Gals   Lose   Inhibitions
In  Caf   Hairpulling   Do
SEE STORY PAGE 13
GOLD-CRAZY HORDES LEAVE TOWN
AS MINERALOGIST HINTS FORTUNE
SEE STORY PAGE 6
*)<€4mU , , ,
World News
• Attacks
• Seductions
• Scandals
National News
• Attacks
• Seductions
• Scandals
' ^col News
»
SEE STORY PAGE 10
Attacks
Seductions
Bedtime Stories THE DAILY
IBYSSEY
ALL THE NEWS THAT Fl'
Big Dave Brousson, AMS President, Sought
Following Daring Daylight Raid at Acadia;
Vice Bogus Booze Racket in Canteen Exposed;
Leaps Fifty Feet in Gallant Freedom Bid
Gruff, surly, Big Dave Brousson, president-elect of the AMS, made
a gallant bid for freedom early today in a fifty-foot leap from the top
of the Acadia Camp water tower, following a discovery by an alert
Daily Ubyssey reported which led to a five-point charge against Brousson by discipline committee officials.
Brousson is charged with following offences:
BIGGEST SINDEN YET
HUNTED
Booze - Crazed   Dove
brousson today the object of a global
oaroh  following  a  lightning  raid  at
\cadia   Camp   which   netted   hugcst
vice den in UBC history.
1.
2.
Oe
*5
Operating an establishment for the purpose of buying
and selling liquor.
Operating an establishment for thc buying and selling
of white girls.
Maintaining an establishment for the pleasure of those
addicted to thc habit of smoking opium and other narcotics.
Maintaining, promoting, and extending an establishment for the purpose of making, taking, and placing
bets, popularly known as gambling.
Riding a bicycle on the sidewalk.
DAILY UBYSSEY TIP-OFF SPELLS DOOM
The tip-off to Brousson's underworld activities came from
Daily Ubyssey reporter David M, Darvill, himself an Acadia
resident.
Darvill, who had ordered a cup of coffee in Brousson's
"canteen", was served instead a mug of rum, inadvertently
poured from the wrong spigot by a careless waitress.
Darvill's report to the Home Office alerted a whole staff of
Daily Ubyssey reporters and photographers, along with members of the discipline committee.
CHASE FORCES NEAR LETHAL LEAP
Simultaneously, a third-year lawyer. Thaclclcus Tadpole, had stumbled
onto thc secret and followed a trail
ot rum drops to Brousson's Acadia
liquor lair.
Working together, reporters, photographers, and discipline officials went
hot on the trail of the booze-brazed
Brousson, and climaxing a wild chase
through Acadia huts and dormitories,
brought him to bay at the top of the
''water"  tower.
As officials, scaling the water tower,
neared the pinnacle where the hunted
madman clung, he leaped from the
dizzy height to the ground more than
fifty feet below, and disappeared.
Authorities continue to press a
global search for the liquor-logged
madman.
Meanwhile, inside the "canteen",
reporter Darvill, after half an hour,
had located the spigot from which
the rum had been poured, and was
"testing" the spigot for evidence,
should it be brought to trial as an
exhibit.
WIFE AIDS IN ESCAPE DASH
atchet - Man   Grant
ingstonc sought today as accompr
■ of mobster, Big Dave following
idia clean-up. Livingstone, alias
:e Leech" believed to have jsup-
d bogus-booze.
Brousson's wife Trixic, who was
assisting her husband in his escape,
was pursued by a Daily Ubyssey
photographer, and was finally captured when the alert pixie found her
hiding behind a tree.  (See cut).
She will bc held for questioning.
The question of Brousson's source
of supply was answered when a Daily
Ubyssey reporter found papers on
Grant Livingstone's desk conclusively
proving that the AMS president had
acted as "hatchet man" for his successor, and had made contract with
a   group   of   Chemical   Engineers   to
manufacture the rum in a lab.   (See
'cut).
Why Go to Florida This Winter
۩ TO HELL
Pleasant Surroundings
Genial Company
Published bv tbe Hell Chamber of Commerce
Solon Quits After
'Machine' Charged
AMS President Grant Livingstone
coolly gathered his official Council
robes about him Monday night and
announced he' had resigned "as of
now".
Reason for the balding, bespectacled
president quitting:
"Council this year has been a
machine. It (Council) has been dominated by Livingstone, Macdonald and
Harwood,"
Thursday, March 25, IMS
",:m^m^! l#
/,<*'
v*i
%PmJM»
SCIENTIFIC GINMILL was uncovered eai
today in the depths of UBCs Science building,   lt was here
proof booze was made for campus  "alkies."  Said the bo^
booze-makers of thc Brousson-Livingstonc vice-ring: "They
us to shut up."
Eye Witness:
"He Never Done
Nothing Wrong"
Sobs Crime-Wife
By   MOIRA   McGRATH
(Daily Ubyssey Sob Editor)
Today I sat in thc kitchen of (lie
Brousson home and heard the escape-widow of the bonzc-crazed
president-elect tell me, simply and
unashamedly, "I think he's innocent."
As Trixic Brousson told nor
.story, my eyes wandered over the
cheap furniture and made-over
curtains, and I heard how with a
budget of only 17 cents a week
and the use of her husband's
AMS pass, this gallant little lady
kept the family of four alive, while
with the remainder of her income
the booze-crazed Brousson was adding to the capital expenditures
of his liquor lair high in tho
"water"   tower.  -
"But  he  never  done   nothin'
wrong,"   Trixic   told   me.    "He
was   always   a   Rood   man,   an
honest,   clcan-livin'   man.   This
liquor  was    only    a    sideline.
Every man should have a hobby.  Spike and  Joe here,"  and
her eyes fell to her infant children, "arc right proud of their
papa for what he done."
"But   Mrs.   Brc.is.son."   I   asked,
"didn't  he realize that  bootlegging
and white-slaving, and opium  and
gambling  were  crimes?"
"Crimes - huh!" she .snorted.
'The only crime was in them policemen fellers takin' after my
David ehnsin' him to here and
gone across the world. That was
the   only   crime,"
Near Lethal Leap
Wins Freedom foi
Booze-Mad Mobsj
NOTICES
LOST-One Caf dinner. On Art:
lawn.  Finder  please do not  return.
LOST -Dignity. In Mock Parliament
Finder please return to Progressive-
Conservative  headquarters.
H&N
kt **A-^-^-^
Terror - Driven   I e
I', em I'iMii.ii le el' Acadia Water Tel
I'liuer   lair   won   freedom   for   bop
mad    Big    Dave   Brousson    today!
mai ks   ihe  spot  where  he  landed] ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS
Thursday,  March 25,  1948
THE DAILY
UBYSSEY
3
THEY MAY BE HERE —Authorities believe fear-blinded   Big   Dave
Brousson and Grant Thc Leech Livingstone may bc lurking in the area shown above.   Mobsters
at'e wanted on five charges following Acadia raid.
Hot Rum trail Unlocks
Secret of Vice Ring
follow ing is an eye-witness account '.
oi Big Dave Bruusson's frenzied
flight from thc AMS office to hU
liquor lair in Acadia Camp. Autlioi
Tadpole recounts how lie aeeidentl.v
discovered tlie fugitive's trail, ami
describes the events which led to tin
nerve-shaking   climax.
H.v   TIIADDIUS  TADPOLE
As told to Walter Mulligan
! followed a trail of rum
drops lo Big Dave Broussons
liquor lair in Acadia Camp
early  today.
I [list .sineHod thc scent : I
rum on the doornob of Bk>
Dave's office when I just hao
pen(<cl to bo looking in to sec
if the Campus Boss was in. 1
licked my lips. :
It   was  i inn.   I   thought.
Following m.v imsc and led by th,
strong alcoholic aroma which pervade,!
th? ail1, I quickly reached the ou'.ei
door  of   Block   Hall. |
[he inns! have brushed against thi
clue.. I licked my lips again. It wa;
rum,   I   ihuughl.
In my excited rush down past I hi
Madium. [ paused only a monien1
to sniff a tree which the desparale
boo/e-erazed Bnuissnii must have en
countered  in  feai fill escape. , ■*• ■■• J    T   '     •_
A,,m , pursed my h,*. n was   , j Terror-Trapped Trixie
1 tluim, [trembled  behind this  tree   (1\
Zig-zaggim; uuickl.v aeia.ss the en ■ ; neat' her Acadia Camp canteen
per   playing   hold.   I   Happened   to   hot- j as squads  ransacked  back  l'OOiA
ice    a    c.r-1-nff    necktie.    On    il    wa
reps  of  drum,   t   lipped   my   lick.s.   if;
tlii.s  lime.   1   trail   I   was   on   the   know
It    was    only    a    minuer    ef    in all its
before  t   mi edit   luge   where  ihe  fin, is . j ! HP, scene,
live   bad   fled.   1   popped   stei'indicaily.
lacking    my    .simps    before    liee'iasm .',
the  c.iii  again.
Till-   yaiil    <•(     m    \\ ,i      n, ,n:;   in   my
. Hue! nl:-' as  1  ne ircd   -Vcanipi.i  Cadi
The    es' !i.;  rini'iil    e!'    ! he    cite    had
el   my    i|IMt   iiivvi'iaii;;    As   I   dt'.i.   .1
ihe   I o, ■ i   , .'    |; i ■ i,
searching ior bogus hunzt
drugs, arrows (2), C,Y) indicate
Daily Ubyssey reporters view-
it
ran   over   ;t
WANTED
PHOTOGRAPHERS    MODELS   .    .    .
come to  the  Pub darkroom ■ we'll   sec
what   develops ■■■put  you  in  the short-
slop    fix you ■■ wash you  for ten  minutes- hang  ynu   up  lo dry    and   print
■''>>'<■    Have    t->i:; -.-a -n.    1 | you    in    all    tour   down    town    papers
ep-'on.      1    |om;ue   m,     including     ihe     Daily     Worker    come
" '■'   llioui4lit.   I   rum.      j  alrls.   Ilu-re's  a  great   future   for  you.
Solon Quits After
'Machine' Charged
AMS Treasurer Bob Harwood coolly gathered his official Council robes
about him Monday night and announced he had resigned "as of now".
Reason for the haggard, curly-haired  treasurer quitting:
"Council thi.s year has been a
machine. It (Council) ha.s been dominated by Livingstone. Macdonald and
Harwood."
-  ....
Big Dave Seen
MADISON, Wisconsin, Mar, 25—
Hunted "Big Dave" Brousson was
seen by 'Ynmpin 'Yimminy here today.
Bootlegger 'Nicked'
Osborne Lester. 22, 509 Robson, was
convicted in Police Court on charges
of keeping liquor for sale and fined
$ad() with the option of six months in
jail.
***S±r"**,l$calp*
SYMPTOMS; itchy feel-%
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comb or brush. Unless
checked may cause
baldness.
MAKE A HIT WITH HANDSOME HAIR I
'Vaseline' Hair Tonic supplements the
natural scalp oils to keep your scalp in
condition, hair always good-looking and
easily groomed. Largest selling hair preparation in the world. It's economical, too.
Vaseline HAIRTONIC
TRADE   MAH K
TWENTY-FIVE YEARS O LIFE
INSURANCE SERVICE
TO THE PUBLIC
Sound   Advice  to  University  Students on Life Insurance
Needs.
Kennle  Hollett
Home Telephone KE 2215-R
Frank Frediickson, C. L. U.
Home Telephone KE l.ififl-R
London Life Insurance Co,
7th FLOOR ROYAL BANK BUILDING — wArine (5521 Spring and Sports
♦ ♦ ♦ a scoring twosome
FOR GOLFERS
GOLF BAGS  from $9.95 to $23.95
IRONS — from $6.95 and $8.50 with rustless heads and shafts to Macdonald
hand forged, highly finished, rustless heads, deep grooved tops, and grain
leather grips   at $11.95
WOODS   from $7.95 to $11.95
HEAD COVERS —  "          $1.39 each
WOODEN TEES      29c, package $7.50
GOLF BALLS   50c to 3 for $2.85
REPAINT    25c   a   bottle
FOR FISHERMEN
GREENHEART RODS — Suitable for spinning and trolling $12.95
ELO TROLLING REEL — English made, sturday plastic reel, 4M>
inch diameter complete with tension adjusting screw and strong
click   $9.15
NYLON SOLID LINE—30 pound test 100 yards $4.00
30 pound test 150 yards $5.00
20 pound test 100 yards $3.50
20 pound test 150 yards   $4.50
HERRING DODGERS 44c to 75t
MARTIN AND ROSEGARD PLUGS $1.39
FOR TENNIS ENTHUSIASTS
RACKETS — strung and perfectly balanced —
Bentley—
"Court"   $4.«9
"Mercury"    $5.50
"Blue Eagle"     $7.95
Campbell—
"25" $7.95
"36" $10.95
Slazenger—
"Fred Perry"  $17.50
From Australia - "Oliver" ... $17.95
PRESSES - 98c and $1.25 COVERS - $1.25
TENNIS SHOES - Jack Put-cell's arch supporting, cushioned
soles   $5.25 and $5.49
Sporting Goods Dept, First Floor Up.
<=fi/^^
WHERE   ALL   VANCOUVER    SHOPS XL THE NEWS THAT FITS
Thursday,  March 25, 1948
THE DAILY
UBYSSEY
The Daily Ubyssey Letter   Box
Member Canadian  University Press
Authorized as Second  Cla.ss Mail,  Post Office  Dept., Ottawa.
Mail Subscribers—$2.50 per year
lEditorial opinions expressed herein  are  those of the editorial staff of The
■ Daily Ubyssey  and  not  necessarily  those of the  Alma  Mater  Society  nor
of the University.
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF — DONALD FERGUSON
Managing Editor — Laurie Dyer
ITORS THIS ISSUE: Val Sears, Jack Wasserman, Joan
Jrimmett, Ron Haggart, George Robertson, Hal Tennant, Bruce
Saunders, Fred Moonen, et al.
FOR A BETTER UBYSSEY
The Daily Ubyssey, the people's servant, most widely read
campus newspaper, and fourth largest daily newspaper in Vancouver, is proud to announce a change in policy.
At the suggestion of several members of the student body
/■ho have seen fit to intimate in letters to the editor that perhaps
)ur policy might bear revision, and at the suggestion of cerain
lembers of the student government who have complained of
msatisfactory news handling, we have undertaken an entirely
tew plan for the Ubyssey.
♦ Beginning with this issue the Ubyssey will attempt to report
lews with a conservative attention to accuracy and will at no
lime border on the sensational, as ha.s been the case in several
tntoward incidents in the past.
The policy now is for accuracy, responsibility, discrimination, discretion. We have learned our lesson. Yours for a real
Itudent newspaper.
A GRAVE CRISIS
Something must be done.
The time has come to act.
Figures released by skilled statisticians today revealed that
[he current average is standing at 87 out of every 100 students
it the univerity.
Last year the 12  month  average  was held  to (53 out of
;very 100,
The year before it was still lower.
Thinking students wil recognize a trend. This trend must be
Istopped. The very foundations upon which student government
|at UBC is built stands at stake.
It is the responsibility — the duty — of every student to
|answer this challenge to our heritage.
The Alma Mater Society must come to the fore to stem
| this flood. Now, Immediately.
This year student council, elected representatives of 9000
students, has failed completely. Can we look to the leadership of the incoming counci Ito spearhead the attack which must
[stamp out this thing in our midst'.'
Destroy thi.s growth on our society now or next year face
the consequences of 100 students out of every 100.
********
^"•Fli'I
Be tlii' first in ,\om neighbourhood to have a
LITTLE GIANT CYCLOTRON
amaze   your   friends   and   family
SMASHED ATOMS ARK DANDY for:
Party Favors - Xmas Decorations    Costume Jewellery
Not a Toy . . . Dandy for Home, School or Office
—watch your  friend's faces  Unlit  up when  Ihey  begin  to radiate
—will  nol  interfere  with  household  appliances,  AC  -   IK'
FORM   YOUR  OWN   FAMILY   NUCLEUS
neatly   wrapped   in   gift   packages
Apply D. M. Shrum Mail Order House
27'2 Physics Building, UBC
Spadework
I am a faithful reader of your
newspaper, but I have one criticism. I note your growing inclination to "play down" sensational
"angles" of news events. (I got
those terms out of a movie I
saw once, so I'm really an old
"news dog" at heart.)
But about this "playing down".
I believe in callig a spade a spade
a spade. Don't call it a shovel if
it's a spade. A spade is a spade is
a spade. And if it's a manure fork,
let's hear about it. That's the only
way to fight manure forks. Bring
them out in the open.
A manure fork is a manure fork
is a manure fork.
Let's hear about it. I know no
news is good news. But what about
the bad news. Is it good news too?
A READER.
Darers Go First
Dear Sir,
I dare you to print this letter. In
fact I double dare you to print it.
I know damned well you won't
print it. You wouldn't dare.
I know editors and they are all
alike. What I think about editors
isn't fit to print and you wouldn't
dare print it anyway.
I write lots of letters to editors
telling them what I think about
them and I always dare them to
print them. In fact I always double
dare they but they don't. They
don't dare.
So I  dure you to print this, in
fact  I  double  dare you.  But you
won't. You wouldn't dare.
Daringly yours,
Grant "The Leech" Livingstone.
Ed. tor,
The Daily Ubyssey,
You can't tell me about university students. They are no
good, absolutely no good. They
chive around in big cars. They get
chunk. They never do an honest
days work in their lives. I know,
you can't tell me.
They are no good, absolutely no
igood; wasting t h e taxpayers'
money, waisting their own parents' hard earned money. They go
out to Point Grey and loaf for
years and years. You can't tell me.
t know.
I know all about university students and they are all alike. They
live in an ivory tower and get
drunk, that's all. They are no
good, absolutely no good. I know.
Vou can't tell me.
Disfeusted Taxpayer.
A Clean Paper
was the mad flood of
passion that throbbed
through handsome
dark dane to die in a
pool of blood?
By F. G. C. WOODS
WHAT   HAS   GONE   BEFORE:
Dashing, syncopating, handsome
Clurk Dane, 23-year old talent
scoul for the Acme Theatrical
Agenuy In New York, has come to
Frogtown to look for cheap talent.
Here he meets cheap and talented
Lucy Plnkham, heiress of the Van
Wick Plnkham millions. Well, Dune
falls Ln love with her. Actually,
Mrs. Pir.kham's hold on Van Wick
Hamilton, whose millions are liable
to be helred out to his illegitimate
daughter, Tilda, who throws a
party. Someone in Frogtown had
croaked. No. We've got it all
wrong. Well, the energetic de
Graff had warned—. Perhaps wc
should forget it all and start from
scratch.
CHAPTER XVI
Scratch. Tlie sound was pleasant
to dashing, syncopating, Clarl<
Dane's ears. Scratch again. Again
the flame went out. He scratche/'
again. The sound was pleasant to
the dashing talent scout's synco
pating ears.
Scratch. He was trying <♦ ligl)
his pipe. The sound tickled his
eardrum. He tried it again with
the match held closer to his ear.
Scratch. It tickled the eardrum of
the sensitive, syncopating talent
wout. He would try it again, nearer. All thought, o fgetting his pipe
lit was now erased from his mind.
Scratch, this time nearer. What a
funny, pleasant ticklish feeling it
gave to his eardrum. Once more,
ri.ht up to the ear, Scratch.
* * *
From the position of his pillow
in the hospital bed, he could not
see the approach of cheap and
talented Lucy Pinkham, heiress of
the Van Wick Pinkham millions.
But his one ear was still good
enough to catch the fall of her
feet. Her feetfall echoed through
the empty ward.
"Darling," Her throaty whisper
was like the sound of bells in his
left ear. She leaned over him and
caressed his stubby cheek.
"Precious." His throaty answer
was like the sound of bells in both
her ears. Her right one moved toward hi.s in anticipation, just a
shade. Her left one remained where
it  was.
They loolced at each other for an
instant. The whole world floated
before their very eyes.
"Say,   'darling'   again,   darlin;
he said. She said nothing in rep'
but her swimming eyes spoke e   •
nigh of the feeling that was wl,    .:
her.
"Say 'darling' again, da 'a.
said  again,
"Darling." she said.
The dashing Clark Dane felt i..-r
words, her breath, to be a surging
(Continued on page 12)
Theses   and   other   work
neatly
typed. Reasonable.
MRS. LOGAN
FA. 4479-L
HARRY'S
ON NW
Harry and his
Melody Men
play favorite
old-time music
nightly— at
10:30 p.m.
CKNW
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THE DAILY UBYSSEY
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Corner of Cypress and Cornwall BAy. 6420
Open Daily — 11:30 A.M. to 1:00 A.M.
Available   also   for   Fraternity   functions   and   Club
Banquets. Accomodation for 140. THE DAILY
UBYSSEY^
Death Plunge
Fatal To Pert
Unwed Mother
An unwed, expectant mother
flung herself and her unborn
L'hild to death in a 200 foot leap
from the parapet of the Science
building early today.
The beautious young mother, described by Dr. C. E. Dolman, head of
the bacteriology department, as "in-
dispensible in our work with cholera
cultures" had been employed by the
department for many years. Laboratory assistants were reported to have
been aware of her condition but had
been warned "to keep quiet about it.1'
Swarthy, laboratory apprentice
"Dip" Theria, suspected in connection with the horror death, hopped
bail this afternoon. Police are pressing a search in the vicinity of Clov-
erdalc.
Three .shocked  engineers,  including
a  personal  friend  of  the  victim,  witnessed tlie fated plunge.
BLOOD  COVERED
Hushing to aid the crushed but
still breathing figure, her friend Bob
Bagdubob. App Sc '50, tried frantically to revive the blood covered
tragedy  victim.
Witli a soft moan, her nose twitching convulsively as she struggled for
breath, the broken mother died with
her friend's hand on her failing
pulse, Bagdubob's companions rushed oft' for help, and the body was
carried    into    the    Science    building
ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS
Thursday,  March  25,  1»48
See recent picture of suicide
victim page 13
basement by two white-coated students. Coroners will hold an inquest
this afternoon,
The   dead   mother,   police   learned,
leaves eight orphaned children.
OVERCOME
Overcome with grief, witness Bag-
dubob told a Daily Ubyssey reporter
of  the unwed  mother's death plunge.
"I was just on my way to a 10:30
lecture," he sobbed. "When I saw
her creeping to the edge of the parapet."
"I didn't know she was going to
jump, 1 recognized her by her platinum blond hair. I waved. She didn't
wave back, which I thought was
very strange as she is very friendly
and very popular with the students."
"Then I saw her pause at the very
edge of the roof, and then - - - she—
--she -threw herself off headfirst.
It was too awful." Bagdubob broke
down completely.
Solon Quits After
'Machine' Charged
T.SK President Jerry Macdonald
coolly gathered his official Council
robes about him Monday night and
announced he had resigned "as of
now".
Hcasnn fur the resignation of the
lanky,   beak-nosed  president:
"Council this year has been a
machine, II iCouncil) ha.s been dominated hy Livingstone. Macdonald and
1 Ten wood."
Mad Dog Killer Strikes, Flees
Following Brutal Caf Slaying;
Clawed Fratman Dies Instantly
Police of three provinces today stepped up their intensive,
fine-tooth search for harried Prince Dugan Dew of Bourban-
Soda, wanted as the "mad dog slayer" of a UBC fraternity man.
Death at the hands of the frenzied killer struck thc UBC
student late Monday afternoon as he sat in the university cafeteria seting bear traps in preparation for the fall rushing season.
-<$>   The   victim   was    fatally    mangled
by  what  police  term  "a  brutal  mad
School of Treason
Planned for UBC
"UBC will have a Faculty of Treason
by next fall.
Plans for a Faculty of Treason are
now before the University Senate,
and authoritative sources believe the
new treason school will be incorporated into the university in time for
the fail session.
Announcement of the establishment
of the new faculty comes after much
agitation on the part of local "political students who have long complained of the "almost prohibitive" cost
of travelling to Moscow for instruction in treason,
TREASON   SCHOOL
Dean of the Faculty of Treason
will be Grant B. Hlivingstone, long
recognized in Canadian political circles as the "most ardent advocate of
the overthrow of the government by
forceful means."
Dean Hlivingstone will assume
duties this summer to organize departments of Espionage, Propaganda,
Sabotage and Creation of Unrest.
A special course, Disruption of
Political Meetings 200, will be under
the guidance of Dr, Stuart Chambers.
Dean Hlivingstone has expressed
his pleasure over Dr. Chambers' appointment.
"No  living   man   is  more  qualified
to   instruct   in   dis   course   than   Dr,
Chambers,"  Livingstone said,
BRAY B. T.
Also under Dean Livingstone will
be Marshall Bray, B.T. (.Bachelor of
Treason); and David Tupper, long
famed as the founder of A.A, (Anarchists Anonymous),
"I am most pleased to vorking with
dese men at the Uniwersity," Dean
Hlivingstone said.
Plans also include asking the assistance of the Physical Education
Department for instruction in dodging missies hurled at aspiring rabble-
rousers who are enrolled in the Faculty.
Although local treasonists are lauding the newly-appointed Dean for his
work in establishing the Faculty of
Treason, the modest, bomb-throwing
anarchist insists that credit for the
undertaking be given ''those guiding
lights in the Pre-Treason Club."
They've done the spade work,"
Hlivingstone said, "now it's up to
us to shovel it."
WANTED
Youngish (54), balding ex-serviceman would like opportunity to prosper under free enterprise. Experienced in juggling books, hurling charges,
and assaulting red windmills. No objection to working for an exploiting
capitalist. Grant Livingstone, ALma
0466R.
dog killer." Dead i.s Joshua Jackson.
He was a member of the Beta 'Theta
Pi.
KILLER SHAG-HAIRED
Grim detectives today warned they
would "curry-comb every hideout in
the province" for the brutal slayer.
Circulars released by police tod iy
described the killer as "a shag-haired
villian who has committed the most
cold-nosed  slaying  in  the history  of
See picture of Crazed Killer
Page 13
the  Vancouver  Police  Department."
Police have hinted (lie murder may
be in retalliation for an earlier sla.v'an;
in  California  of  Prince  Dugan   Dew's
second  cousin.
Police have warned that ihe wanted
slayer   i.s   a   dangerous   and   relentless
killer. He will not paws, they warned.
He    is    known    to    have    murdered
several jail birds and had lately turned
to   Robin,
Parliamentarians
Fail to Protest
Parliamentary Forum yesterday
failed to pass a resolution not resolving that the Forum oppose a motion
not to be passed by refusing not to
commend university student for their
not resolving that they should
not refrain from protesting the
discontinuation of picketing not
being carried on by groups not favoring the cutting off of supplies
which are not being sent to China.
Both speakers refused to take the
negative.
Big Dave Seen
CHICAGO, Mar. 25-Tho Chicago
Bull Market took a sharp upswing
today as Big Dave Brousson wa-.;
spotted fleeing east.
FOR SALE
FOR SALE—Slightly run down machine. Of little use lo the owners.
Apply Council room. No cranks,
please.
en you
Wh
think of
Life I
nsurance
drop dead!
'"TheLong
& the Short &
thetall"
... as the Army
song goes
Or just about every
man-jack of you ...
Veterans, pea-
green freshmen
and all, will appreciate the colorful
assortment of
Arrow shirts, ties
and handkerchiefs.
Shirts — famous Arrow collar (neatest-fitter extant)
SANFORIZED labelled — guaranteed never
to shrink out of fit.
Ties — handsome - knotting, wrinkle - repulsing.
And what patterns!
Handkerchiefs — color-mate with Arrow shirts and
ties
like quotes " " on a "quote".
Who sells 'em? Your nearest Arrow dealer!
ARROW SHIRTS
TIES • HANDKERCHIEFS
Peter S. Mathewson
803 Royal Bank Building
VANCOUVER, B.C.
Telephone
PA 5321
BAy 7208 R
SUN LIFE OF CANADA THE M
WHERE   YOUNG   VANCOUVER   SHOPS
So you're the girl he's taking to the Easter Parade!
Whether you're strolling on the campus, window
shopping along Granville, or "doing" Stanley Park,
"you'll be the finest lady" in a suit from The BAY.
Marching Silver Buttons accent a wool
crepe suit with precise collar and cuffs,
Bide poplitm effect, graceful-flaring skiit.
Navy or gray, lo spike with a dash of
t-oloi-. 14-18. $25
B.
Jaunty Stripes emphasize the classic lines
of this all-wool flight flannel tailleur, featuring reversible lapels, big patch pockets,
soil, impressed pleats. Yellow, beige, tan.
14.18.
otootfclftug (IiMtqum£-
INCORPORATED   2?» MAY 1670. 7<^e S&ocv . . ,
PLAYERS    CLUB    HAS    BACKING    OF    ANGELS
IN- NEW STAGING    OF    SHERIDAN'S    "DESIRE"
7<& Stony
thc doily ubyssey shows you
•<>4^I>^V<M
'DESIRE'
"DESIRE" S ANGELS ARE: from left to right, Stanley  R
Stannfield,  underwear tycoon, Richard Blockhard,  owner  of
DuPont Chemicals, and Francis Underhill, wealthy proprietor
of the University cafeteria.
(5)
Maxine Pillsbury, heroir
from country who tries t|
get both a part in mi.
her first bitter experiend
talent agent assigns herl
Maxine finds she is singij
ant.   Forced to go throJ
sings lustily with the res!
EXCLUSIVE DAII
i-- At right, two stars imported to take leads of "Desire." Left,
\j is suave Maurice Belkin,    French-Canadian    character-actor,
Right is Lena Howarth, blond ingenue from Akron, Ohio.
(3)
Shown above is Howard K. Smith, Players' Club
scenery manager, as he puts finishing touches on
elaborate stage setting for second act of "Desire."
He is working on miniature model of the University
Library, which figures prominently in second act.
Model was built in basement of the Smith home,
was made out of toothpicks, and cost only 83 cents.
Smith, who takes sole credit for construction of the
miniature, claims that the idea came to him in a
"burst of inspiration," but adds he intends to be
reimbursed for cost of building it.
Students eagerly stand in line at AMS office for tickets to
"Desire." Officials predict a selout by Wednesday, with largest
attendance present in University history for the three-night
showing. Extra staff of three girls was needed to keep lineup
from jamming doors of Brock Hall,
The speaker's words have a profouj
determined to keep her eye on the
th path of life once more with rene^
is soon rewarded with a modelling jc
ine (left) posing with Sylvia van
for a picture advertising automobilel SHERIDAN'S BRILLIANT SATIRE OF 20TH
CENTURY LIFE IS A FAST, LIVELY SHOW -
PLOT IS STORY  OF   INNOCENT YOUNG
GIRL CAUGHT IN TOILS OF BIG CITY LIFE.
pridan's sinful satire, is sweet young innocent
I into sophisticated big city life , All efforts to
IRgband are balked. Play takes her through
| big city talent scouts. For a gag, a cynical
ijing" part in new musical. To her dismay,
chorus of an all-male Russian peasant page-
it, Maxine dons hip boots and blouse and
(third from left, above).
iYSSEY PHOTOS BY LeHATCHER
<
Advised by Harry Popover,
fashion expert, to throw off her
country ways and adopt soph-
ticated manners of the big city,
Maxine spends hours before a
mirror, learning to be poised,
Here she is seen reciting Hamlet's "Soliloquy" .Shakespeaiv,
to teach herself good speaking
habits.
let on Maxine, and,
|she sets out to trod
)e and vigour. She
lo above shows hero-
ious fashion model,
|)t'S.
Special Treat
Students who wish to rent
opera glasses for the performance of "Desire" may do
sa at the stand prepared for
the purpose operated by
Phinkus Club members. Users are asked to turn their
glasses in promptly, since
they have to be shined for
the next performance. Thank
you.
SHERIDAN'S "DESIRE" is the tale of an innocent young girl
from the country whose efforts to secure lasting happiness with
big-city life are frustrated from beginning to end. Her desire —
to combine marriage with a big part in a Broadway musical —
seems beyond reach, until she meets a handsome actor's agent.
The finale — her marriage to the agent and her starring in a
big production — is as beautiful as it is Inevitable.
THE DAILY
UBYSSEY
ROTOGRAVURE
'    ' f   '■-,
f.\ i
(6)
.Vlaxine's next bitter experience with big city life comes
when wolf makes pass at her
in Automat.
(7)
Maxine takes hope momentarily from the words of a speaker at a Salvation
Army meeting. Standing at the microphone in front of a group of believers
about to give their testimonials (see picture) the speaker outlines to his
listeners the way to happiness. "Keep your eye on the object," he says. "Keep
your eye on the object. Keep your eye on the object,"
Final, complete happiness comes to Maxine when she meets the "right kind"
of talent agent. Agent, Mark Mac Vicar, agrees to "handle" her, and does so so
well that she gets lead spot in Hammerstein's show "Adagio." With Ambition
No. 1 safely in hand, Maxine has no difficulty in getting marriage proposal
from handsome MacVicar. Most romantic moment in the show comes when
pair, above, find themselves in quaint little Bohemian cafe in Flatbush. Says
MacVicar to Maxine, tenderly: "1 love ya, babe."
Through Our
Camera Lens
-The World
This week marks the begin-1
ning of the Daily Ubyssey's]
policy of presenting a n«w,
clean, and interesting Rota*]
gravure Section. To bej
known ps The Rotogravure
Section, this feature wjll]
bring to its readers eaghj
week, sidelights on interesting things that happen thel
world over. Next week, thel
roving pamera of the Daily!
Ubyssey will take you on a]
pic-tour of Saudi, Arabia,]
and the methods used to]
breed camels there. It will)
be titled The Rotogravure j
Section.
.>— THE DAILY
UBYSSEY
10
ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS
• Sticks
• and Twigs
• Frogs
• and Snails
• They all go
into
Coffin Nails
Coffin Nail
Cigarettes
["The cigarette with the head
Ion it."
MONEY
MONEY
MONEY
we can make you
MONEY
Jr quick
■jr clean
if shady
ir confidential
MOE'S PRINT SHOP
Entrance at rear of
POINT GREY NEWS GAZETTE
X
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HEAD   OFFICE    WATERLOO, ONTARIO
Thursday,  March  25,  1948
Torso Slashing Piques
Fort Camp Authorities;
Mutilated Chorine Found
Hanging in Abandoned Room
Mangled torso of a pretty blond chorine was discovered
hanging in an unlived-in hut in Fort Camp late last night.
■<§> The slashed torso is a portrait ot
Mitzy LaRue, who is currently appearing in a local night club chorus
line.
Millions for All
As UBC Geologist
Predicts Gold Rush
Gold-lusting eyes of the world were
on UBC professor Dr. Harry V. Warren, B.A., B.A.Sc., B.Sc, D.Phil., Assoc. Inst. M.M., F.G.S.A., F.R.S.C.
Wednesday night.
The stocky, balding, one-time Olympic sprinter quietly told a hushed
and expectant audience at the Mount
Pleasant C.G.l.T. that B.C. may stand
on the threshold of the greatest gold
rush of all time..
Meanwhile UBC public relations
officer Van Perry was flooding the
mail with "Placer Mining for Beginners" pamphlets from UBC Extension Department.
The high point of the address came
when Dr. Warren summed years of
intensive research to reveal, "Gold is
where you find it."
W"     	
Her picture has been hanging there
in the room "for quite some time,"
police  believe,
Thc limp form was placed in
a waiting ambulance and rushed
to thc operating room of the Vancouver Art Gallery, where It was
pronounced "dead" upon arrival.
"They'd been trying to frame me
for a long time," Miss LaRue said
of an alleged ring of local artists.
"But up until a year ago I'd. managed to give 'em the brush."
Big Dave Seen
HONOLULU, Mar. 25-Police are
investigating reports that a burly
hula dancer with the phrase "a big
man for a big job," tattooed on his
shoulder is currently appearing in a
local  night  spot.
It is believed that "she" may be
the fugitive "Big Dave" Brousson,
notorious west coast vice king.
Canada's LARGEST Exclusive Ladles' Shoe Store
Easter
Promenaders
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Happy harmony for
your Easter e n-
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popular   block   heel.
xr
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C 18
MEZZANINE  FLOOR
STREET ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS
Thursday,  March 25, 1948
THE DAILY
UBYSSEY
11
UBC SEXUAL BREAKDOWN SEEN
HIGH ALTAR of journalism is scene ot spiritual rites as the
new God of the Publications Board, Ron Haggart, is cannonized
by the dead but resurrected ex-God, Don Ferguson. Haggart
received the benediction and ensuing responsibilities in recognition of his great capacity for leadership and his great capacity.
This picture is first official uncorking of the new leader of the
"illegitimate children."
Civic Red Purge Looms;
"Clean Out Our City",
Cry Crusading Aldermen
City Council is determined to "wipe out the Reds."
In a late release from inner City Hall circles early today,
Mayor Charles Jones told pressmen:
"Everything Red  has got to go.
"We've been in the Red long
enough."
In his hand was a bottle of Red
ink. which he had removed from the
City Bookkeeping department and
which he intended "to dispose of in
a   democratic  but   forceful  way",
Al press time, City Councillors were
still mooting the possibility of petitioning tlie Dominion Government to
change the colors of the Red, while
and Blue Union Jack. Black and blue
are Ihe favored new colors.
Traffic signals are being altered today to conform with City Council's
new policy. Green only will be used
in the lights. Tn place of the formerly
Red signal, a small manikin of Wall
er   Mulligan   will   emerge   from   the
side   of   the   signal,   waving   a   page
from the Financial Post,
CITY HALL
Other City Hall sources hinted that
first on the Mayor's "must go" list
are:
Fire engines, mail boxes, and fire
hydrants.
Sciencemen wearing Red sweaters
will be executed under a minor
amendment to a prevailing city bylaw.
Red Cross headquarters will be
closed until their "evil insignia" have
been  recolored.
Sale of Red nail polish and lipstick will be prohibited in all city
slore.'L
A   complete   sexual   break-'
down   at   the   university   was
revealed today when Registrar
C. B. Wood released the following registration figures:
Male students   7180
Female students   1855
Solon Quits After
'Machine' Charged
Sophomore Council member Gordon Baum Monday night coolly gathered his official Council robes,
WANTED
TWO OFFICE GIRLS would like to
meet refined UBC students. Reason:
We're tired of Air Force Officers.
Box 90, Daily Ubyssey.
MEETING
A PROTEST MEETING of all those
who resigned from Council will be
held in the telephone booth of hie
Erock   todav.   Nora   Clarke   will   pre-
LONELY
HEARTS
COLUMN
Ronnie—Please don't keep leaving
bombs attached to father's car. One
of  them  exploded  this  morning  and
he was lat for work. Cynthia.
* * *«
Would the young lady who left
girdle in my hotel room last weekend,
please leave her name in the lobby.
Reason:  I'm having it engraved as a
souvenir.
• * #
R.B.—Please contact me. It wasn't;
father we hear coming. It was only ;
the milkman. Use carrier pidgeou as
before, Signed:   Desperate.
^ * #
Man with length of copper coiling
would like to meet woman with
bathtub. Object:   homebrew.
Man, 92, would like to meet mature
woman, 14-18 years of age. Must be:
good cook, good housekeeper, attractive, good-looking, beautiful, exotic, enchanting, well-stacked, agreeable, friendly, warm, cozy, good-
natured, lovable, and fond of checkers, chess, and lawn croquet. Object:
companionship.
# )t< *
Man, (male) would like lo meet
woman   (female).
* If III
Woman, (female), would like to
meet man (male).
iii i!i *
Man (female) would like to meet
man (male).
Hi * *
Man (female) would like to meet
woman   (male).
Big Dave Seen
PRAGUE, Mar. 25-Local authorities joined the search for "Big Dave"
Brousson today as Ihe wauled man
left behind a rubber Czech.
rs
HMUliN
SLATERS
LECKIES
STRIDERS
9.50 to17.50
Clapp's Shoe Stores
CAMPUS SHOP
2:101 Main Street and 1800 Commercial Drive
Also at
4442 W. 10th Ave.
ALma 0408
"Farmers in British Columbia have a particularly Important
job to do. To help them dp their work easier and to ftt
more production at lower cost, B.C. Electric maintains •
complete Agricultural Department.
Through local Agricultural Representatives and the Agrl-
cultural Department's "Farm Service News/' farmers arc
kept up to date on new developments and experiments
(or the benefit of the farming industry. Farmers are invited
to talk over their problems with the B.C. Electric Agricultural Representatives.
J0**» THE DAILY
UBYSSEY
12
ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS
Thursday, March 25, 1948
GREEK LETTER
Personalized Party Goods
We monogramme matchbooks,
serviettes, stationery and leather
goods with your Fraternity letters.
Pastel shade luncheon napkins and
cocktail sets in transparent containers monogrammed the Hollywood way.
F. Giles Hewitt Co.
2593 W. Broadway    CE 4654
4>
-4>
Air purification Is combined with
pleasurable spring house-cleaning
ln  using new  modern,
ELECTROLUX   CLEANER
Phone  BAy.  4990Y  (or  thorough
Instruction  and  prompt delivery.
(Continued from page 5)
dynamo in his heart. He waa transformed in that moment to a cloud,
a leaf, a tree.
"Say 'dvUng again, darling," he
said again, stroking her teeth.
"Darling." she said.
Syncopating with all the fire of
unconsumed ardor, the talent scout
felt himself being borne away on
a cloud of spiritual Are. Hla hands
caressed her gums, and played back
and forth along her teeth, from left
v/isdom to right wisdom.
"Say 'darling' again, darling," he
said again.
"Darling."
. • *
From her bed in the hospital
ward she could hear his feet falling
along the corridor. At the sight of
him her heart became a fire engine,
racing madly through the wilderness to a blaze that never would
be put out, a blaze that would
burn steadily like the white hope
that carried forth the knigftts of
the Holy Grail, that kept King
Arthur alive with faith in Merlin,
Extra Goons ...
Extra copies of today's New Daily
Ubyssey may be obtained at the
AMS office for 10 cents. Recommended for stopping window rattle and
prolonging life of footwear. Highly
praised by Chic Sale.
that kept Merlin alive with hope
in Arthur.
As his lips brushed across hers,
she was a paddleboat, wending her
way  up and down the levees of
ihe Mississippi. The paddles that
churned within her drove her forward to a destination that was
alive with hope.
He gazed into her eyes. Her
viscera became a speedboat, turning aside the cool blue waters of
the lagoon into thin stripes of
blue and white, ever-widening,
ever-changing,  stripes.
She looked at him.
"I hate you, Clark Dane," she
said. "I loathe you to the core.
You're  rotten."
And suddenly she whipped from
her nightgown a long silver blade
and propelled it through the air
towards his surprised face.
(To  Be Continued.)
r*
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DAVID SPENCER
LIMITED
. by MAXINE ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS
Thursday, March 25, 1948
THE DAILY
UBYSSEY
13
Leap   Victim
No Holds Barred in Cal Riot
As Alpha Phi's, DCs Run Amok;
Lunchbag Thieves to Blame for
Sorority Scandal; Probe Ordered
Sorority tempers exploded yesterday afternoon, and as a
result several members of Delta Gamma and Alpha Phi sororities are now recovering from wounds received in an all-out
caf fracas. ^ ■ ■
Injured   in   the   battle   in   which
PARTY SCHEDULES wore drawing to a close at UBC this
week a.s students prepared lo Inu'in to tft>! ready to start, their
studies a.s final examinations loomed. Revelling above are some
students al one of the final parties of the year.
in   the   battle   in
nearly   eighty   coeds  from   the   two
sororities participated are:
Rosemary Hodgins,, 20, 1875 West
King Edward, back injuries.
Mary Jane Paterson, 19, 4593 West
6th Avenue, face lacerations.
Iris Murray, 20, 3365 West 12th
Avenue, first degree burns on the
back.
Joan Bayne, 22, 4736 Drummond
Drive, fractured skull.
Miss Murray claimed the burns on
her back were a result of having
scalding coffee poured on her. Mr.
Underhill of the cafeteria staff denied the possibility of any such.
30 INJURED
About thirty other girls received
superficial cuts, bruises, and scratches.
The inter-sorority feud which had
the whole cafeteria in uproar for
close to thirty minutes began when
an alert Alpha Phi noticed a Delta
Gamma reaching for the remains of
an Alpha Phi lunch in the Alpha
Phi waste box.
Then things started to happen.
Another Delta Gamma charged in
to help her marauding mate, and
soon coeds at both tables were slugging it out.
Delta Gammas hurled charges that
Alpha Phis had been making a practice of stealing empty Delta Gamma
milk and soft-drink bottles, and reclaiming them with tickets for the
three cents.
Other charges and counter charges,
screamed from their respective tables
went unheard in the noise of the
battle, well under way by now.
"Sin Must Go"
Cries Crusading
Discipline Chief
GUARDIAX of campus morals, Miss
Rosemary Hodgins, chairman of student discipline committee, today
cracked clown on sin. "We will fight
sin on every front" she cried with
fervor. The student discipline committee can be depended upon to
stamp out this card playing and
carrying on," she avowed.
Late
Flash
"Big Dave" Brousson, Anally
captured after a round-the-world
chase, pleaded guilty before the
USC Discipline Committee early
today.
He showed little emotion when
Chairman Rosemary Hodgins pronounced sentence on the notorious
sin king.
Stern and white-faced, Chairman
Hodgins said:
"It gives me no little pleasure to
bc able to inflict upon you the
maximum sentence. Your AMS
pass is now suspended until May
1.'
Snarled Brousson: "I wasn't go-
ing no place before May 1, anyway."
Solon Quits After
'Machine' Charged
Eleven Council members coolly
gathered their official Council robes
about them Monday night and announced they had resigned "as of
now".
Reason:
"This year we have been a machine."
FRESHETTES DUE
AT REGISTRAR'S
OFFICE TODAY
All freshettes must be in thc
hands of the registrar before 1:30
1:39 p.m. today according to a release from thc administration office today.
They will be required to complete their registration in order to
be eligible for a degree.
EDITORS ASK
ALL STUDENTS
TO OUTING
The editorial board of the Daily
Ubyssey, most popular campus
newspaper, cordially invites all
students, with very few exceptions, to step straight along to hell.
Tea will be served.
NOTICE
All members of the Publications
Board are advised that their one-way
tickets to Mexico are ready in the
Editor's office and should be picked
up immediately.
Popular athletes, Boh Haas, Dougie
Reid, Harry Kermode, and John Forsythe are all men, every last one of
them.
PRINCE   DUGAN   DEW
of   Bourbon-Soda
. . . mad-dog slayer
Real Values in
real good
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ARE THFRE REALLY TWO SEXES?
a   startling   suggestion,    by   Jacob
Fraser    10
HOW TO HAVE A BABY-Med Journal,   "Intimate,   authoritative."   by
Miss Prudence Talbot  25
CHARADES, PING PONG, CHILD
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100 THINGS FOR A BOY TO MAKE
bird houses, yo-yo's, etc 25
FEELTHY BIBLE REFERENCES-
"shocking, amazing." by Stuart
Porteous 12 pieces of silver
BIBLES—best yet, 250.000,000 sold."
 ' 95
JUDGMENT—In the case of the Vancouver Daily Province vs. ITU-
dirty—by  J.  O.  Wilson free
CONFESSIONS OF A SECRETARY-
"fearless, frank, exciting." by a
Pearce Wire Recorder  not much
CARE AND MAINTENANCE OF A
PEARCE WIRE RECORDER - by
eleven people who should know
(banned in Boston)   cheap
THE DAILY UBYSSEY free
"...   sensational:   9,000  students.
SPOT EMOVING MADE EASY  03
by Calvin J. Whiteheard ". . . out,
out,    damned    spot."—Shakespeare.
THUNDERBIRD   -   student    humor
magazine  (very  funny)    25
"ha, ha" . . . Mario Prizek, "tee
.hee," . . . G. G. Sedgwick.
GRAFTING—(cherry,     apple,     AMS,
etc.,)  by Grant Livingstone,
"irresponsible   .   .   ."   Nora   Clarke.
THE EVIL OF DRINKING     25
"I'm sorry, John."—Employer—by
Robin  Andrews.
LIFE IN A PAPER BOX FACTORY
-by H. Allen Belkin      $4.95
Author of such popular publications as "Low man in a Paper Box,"
"Lost in the Paper Boxes." and
more recently. "Just a Welkin for
Belkin."
101 WAYS TO BEAT THE INCOMF
TAX~by K5879  (no visitors) 10
TRICKS WITH HLADUN'S LAMP—
by Tim Buck "... mighty tricky. '
Pacific  Tribune-. THE DAILY
UBYSSEY
14
ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS
Thursday, March 25, 1948
OSBORNE MURDER SOLVED
Wynn Loses Temper
In Frenzy Slaying
Dissects Phys Ed Faculty Boss
And Strews Remains About Gym
Sobbing pitifully between attempts to appear fierce, Ivor
Wynn, diminutive University of British Columbia Intramural
sports mentor yesterday revealed the reasons for his liquidation
of Bob Osborne, head of UBCs Phys Ed faculty.
Osborne's body was found in seven ♦
pieces scattered about the University
Gym. Audrey Nichol, Phys Ed's
pretty red-headed secretary swooned
upon pulling out a finger with an
arm attached when she reached into
her desk drawer for a pencil.
GRUESOME
Magistrate McKechnie Mathcwson,
rising yoiin judiciary in thc Vancouver Court House stated that thc
crime was the most gruesomely ingenious "operation murder" he'd ever
had the misfortune to hear about.
The Daily Ubyssey was advised by
him that he could be quoted as
saying "Utterly shocking", when he
first heard of the incident.
WYNN WINS
With but one clue to start upon,
Chief Constable "Irish" Mulligan
quickly threw all his experts into
action and after only 32 minutes
solved the case.
Big Dave Seen
MANILLA, Mar. 25 — Authorities
here report that fugitive Big Dave
Brousson passed through early this
morning.
"We'll give him enough rope,"
quipped officials.
Local Man Allegedly
Goes Out with Wife
"That was my wife," a local man
replied when asked "Who was that
woman I saw you out with last night."
DRAUGHTING
INSTRUMENTS
From $10.00
T-Squnres, Protractors, Set Squares
MECHANICAL ENGINEERS
AND
POLYPHASE   SLIDE   RULES
AMES   LETTERING
INSTRUMENTS
ZIPPER  RING  BOOKS
Complete  wit,    Sheets  and  Index
From J2.69
FOUNTAIN   PENS
Clarke & Stuart
Co. Ltd.
Stationers   and   Printer
550 Seymour St.      Vancouver, B.C
Wynn was a notation on thc Intramural score board. Marked in blood
on the cardboard hanging in thc office
of the dear departed Osborne was
the following inscription: Ivor Wynn
, . . 749 points. The leading intramural
team had a total ot 748 points.
Wynn was apprehended late yesterday morninj.' a.s ho tried to enter
his campus office through the window. Police authorities announced
later that Wynn had been trying to
regain the yo-yo in Jack Poinfret's
desk drawer. Pomfret and Wynn
shared the office in their duties as
Phys Ed instructors. Wynn told Thc
Daily Ubyssey that Osborne had been
trying for months to defame Pomfret.
"Bob was always playing dirty tricks
on me and blaming Jack for what
ever happened."
Pomfret could not be reached for
questioning, but mutual acquaintances of his and Wynn's remarked
that the two were inseparable. Luke
Moyls, Graduate Manager of Athletics commented that the two share
almost everything they owned,
(See Murderer? — Page 16)
Perverted Sports Editor
Ousted by Pub Officials
Last night Donald C. Ferguson, editor-in-chief of the Publications Board, called a special meeting to discuss thc replacement of sports editor Dick Blockberger.
Blockberger   has   admitted   to   the<s>	
unpardonable   crime   of   announcing J the accused had been noticed talking
publically   his  infatuation  for  a  be-   seriously to a girl in dimly lit alley-
pubiically
wildered young female. In sacrificing   way;:.
thc trust of his most exalted position
Blockberger has committed an unpardonable crime by PUB standards
as Ferguson tearfully lamented, "It
has leng been the boast of this paper
that no favoritism is shown anybody.
No man, in the position Dick has
attained should allow himself to go
so far as to openly show preference
for any student, male or female."
BROKEN UP
Tho accused could not bc reached
in time to clarify thc issue, but an
alleged friend, pugilist Jack Melville
said that he had been speaking to
the harried sports editor beneath a
Caf table. Blockberger, who was trying to remain inconspicuous, is reported by Melville to be "completely
broken up by this announcement; he
went down five on a two club bid."
Melville went on to say that upon
recovering from the initial shock,
Blockberger in his own inimitable
sports jargon said, "I am being subjected to acute Machiavellism by a
phalanx of empyreumatic porvari-
cators."
Ronald Haggart, guardian of the
evidence and official blackmailer,
stated that after several recent dates,
Haggart added, "Not only was he
witnessed speaking to this girl but
agent X9 has reported that the girl
has been observed awaiting thc otherwise illustrious sports editor in thc
gloom of the hall-way entrance to the
office. Leap Year is no excuse."
REVOLTING   DEVELOPMENT
Rosemary Hodgins, licensed protector of student morals and veteran
prosecuting attorney in many Caf
and other cases of major note waa
visibly shaken by the news. Upon
being revived by the efforts of the
campus fire department, Miss Hodgins muttered "Oh my goodness gracious what a revoltin' development,"
and passed out again for lack of
refreshment.
A public hearing will be held under
the auspices of the local union of
Geeks'Incorporated to investigate the
grave charges laid by thc Publications
Board. Grant Livingstone, president
of the Alma Mater Society has been
asked by the union to officiate.
Livingstone has requested that all
"dead cats, scarlet or even pink
students (including bloodshot) and
reconverted communists bo barred
from the meeting."
Invective Hurled
'Tween Ex-Editor,
The Daily Ubyssey
Aftermath of a vicious squabble between university athletes
and an ex-sports editor of a
downtown paper came Thursday when Ken McConnell filed
an actio nfor libel in the Sup-
rctjte Court against The Daily
Ubyssey.
McConnel had earlier accused UBC
players of accepting bribes to throw
their American football matches. He
broke the charges just before thc
Thunderbirds went on to thc field to
win  their  28th  victory  in  30  starts.
In a one word editorial. The Ubyssey sports desk answered simply.
"Liar".
Shortly after the incident McConnell resigned from his position hut
rejoined the paper at a doubtful
rank.
In his action thc has-been sports
writer charges libel and defamation
of character. He say.i that the truth
of the Ubyssey's accusation does not
matter. Only the fact that "my friends
and children" will find out what he
is, worries him,
In an exclusive interview with The
Ubyssey McConnell gave a reporter
thc odds on every major sporting
event on the continent for the coining week.
"That ought to prove that I know
what I am talking about," he asserted.
Now is the
and his
Orchestra
CHARLIE SPIVAK
Soft, slow dance magic with Spivak
trumpet  solos  that  twine  around  the
heart  strings.  Tommy  Mercer vocal.   Hear  it
at your RCA  Victor Record dealer's.
Aho WHO ARE WE TO SAY . . . Charlie Spivak
Both on RCA Victor Record 20-2704 .    .    75c.
MORE   RCA VICTOR   RECORD  HITS
'>i
BEG YOUR PARDON
CAN IT EVER BE THE SAME?
iMrry Green and his  Orchestra
RCA  Victor  Record   20-26-17 78*
OHIFLORENCE
(The  Thousand  Islands  Song)
(From "Angel  in  the Wings")
I'M LIVING A LIE
Louis  I'rhiiti  and  his  Orchestra
RCA  Victor  Record  20-2619 7S«
MV OLO FLAME
PEOPLE ARE FUNNIER THAN ANYBODY
Spike Jones and his  City Slickers
RCA  Victor   Record  20-2592 75<
I'M LOOKING OVER A FOUR LEAF CLOVER
ECCENTRIC
The  L'hree Suns
RCA   Victor  Record  20-2688 75*
Bach's immortal Mass in B minor
Now on RCA .Victor Red Seal Rscordi
Just released — the first complete recording on this continent of Bach's
monumental "Mass In B Minor",
greatest choral work ever written.
Robert Shaw conducts thc RCA Victor
Chorale and Orchestra. At your RCA
Victor Record dealer's in Musical
Masterpiece Albums DIM? and D1146
c*i
rca Victor records
What~No Phonograph!
This RCA Victor Record Player
plays records through your
radio.   Only $21.50 ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS
Thursday, March 25, 1948
GIRLS
WIN
GAME
Thundering Thunderettes, six-foot,
league leading fem basketball team
last night copped a quick win over
Hedlunds Meatballs, in a hotly contested tiff in UBC gym.
Sweat flew as husky Meatball captain Jackie Herman racked up 34
points in the first ten minutes. However, the Thunderettes retaliated with
a snappy 37 markers, well before the
quarter mark.
The Meatballs, finding themselves
once again in a stew stormed over
the maples for a measly two points.
As tho half time blast came, the
score stood at a shaky 36-37 for the
home team.
Both teams then started racking
markers left and right, till somebody in thc audience racked one too
many.
When thc lights went on. the score
.stood at a questionable 113-3R for the
Thundering Thunderettes; the grandstand didn't seem to mind, so the
game went on.
Does He
Use
Radar ?
Coach Albert Laithwaite of
the UBC Thunderbirds ruggei
team has received word that
the California Golden Bears
are intending to file suit against
Hilary Wotherspoon, lanky
Bird wing three-quarter, for
carrying a new model radar
set in his right boot.
Dr. Miles Hudson accused the UBC
star after the second game in California last week. Hudson, a dentist,
said it was like pulling teeth to make
the Canadian admit carrying the
radar   set,   but   that   the   extraction
The   only   comment   your   reporter
was bound to come sooner or later.
END PLAY
Wotherspoon would not say anything that could bc quoted in this
paper. As a matter of fact he didn't
say anything; he just tuned his radar
in on the reporter's weak spot and
make his position absolutely clear.
WHO'S SORRY NOW
Trainer Johnny Owen was found
crying in a corner of thc Field House,
With his face screwed up with anguish, Owen sobbed, "Now one of
my boys is going to get into trouble
all because I wanted UBC to win!"
Lawyers are studying Owen's statement for some hidden subtlety which
may prove the breaking point in the
case.
Big Dave Seen
PARIS, Mar. 25—Big Dave Brousson
went in Ihe Seine today but was
rescued to speed his flight east from
Vancouver  authorities.
Puck   Team    Challenges
Stanley Cup  Victors
THE DAILY
UBYSSEY
15
University   Moguls   Decide
Team Has No Chance To Win
By Staff Reporter
The UBC Thunderbirds have startled the hockey world
with a declaration from the MAD that they will challenge the
winners of the current Stanley Cup playoffs. The MAD men
feel that since the Cup is actually a challenge trophy, UBC has
as much right to make a vain attempt to get it as did the Chicago
Blackhawks.
<&-
FLASH!!
In a last minute change of policy
the police decided to allow Ivor
Wynn, accused of murder on page
14, to go free. The police commissioner claimed that Wynn's incoherent statements at his arrest were
not to me considered, as evidence.
This has thrown the investigation
open to further probing both by the
constabulary and Miss Rosemary
Hodgins of the campus discipline
committee.
FLASH!!
?
SPECIALIZING IN
PRINTING
FOR
FRATERNITIES
and
SORORITIES
GEHRKE
Stationery  and  Printing  Co.
566 Seymour St
In a regular week-long meeting at
the Georgia, Dave Comparelli and
Bob Osborne, leading sport moguls on
the campus, had a difficult time in
piloting this measure through the
board, but with a liberal application
of suds, the rest of the committee was
overcome and thc callengc passed
by a 2-0 vote, all but Osborne and
Comparelli obstaining (from voting).
POOR CONDITION
Coach Frank Frederickson announced his starting line-up for the world
publicized set-to. An old Stanley Cup
performer himself, he startled the
sport world with his declaration that
he would start on debench. His only
comment after naming the club was
"Requiascat in pace"—an obscure
Latin quotation meaning 'Get out
there and fight'.
HOUSE  TRICKY
Bill House will bc guarding the
nets, and between juggling acts he
should bo able to kick out a few
shots laid on the goal. Although lacking in experience, House makes up
in enthusiasm, showing an amazing
lethargy once he gets on thc ice. His
favourite trick is to comb thc hair
of opposing forwards with the butt
of his stick.
On defence, Terry Nelford and
Captain Bob Saunders will alternate
with Bob Peebles and Jim Rowledge.
Both defence duos are in the hottest
streak of their short careers, with
Saunders and Nelford going through
the last game without a penalty,
while Peebles and Rowledge got one
goal between them. (They both stood
and watched it roll into the net while
House was showing card tricks to the
time-keeper   in   the   penalty   box.
Wagner, Torfason and Koch make
up the most potent scoring trio, most
goals against the club coming while
they are on the ice. However, they
usually manage to break even, with
each club playing Alphonse-Gaston
in the matter of shots.
Young, Andrew and Berry, while
scoring few counters themselves, don't
allow so many to be scored against
them, but defensive lapses by Berry
at times may prove costly.
COACH CARRIES LOAD
In utility, Frederickson will carry
Mai Hughes and Mac Porteous, who
doubles up as manager. Under such
a load, Frederickson feels that he
will not be able to make it to tho
eastern city where thc series will be
held. Consequently, Al Thiessen, erstwhile trainer will probably take up
the reins as coach for the away
games, with Frederickson in charge
of the home tilts
-sww
I II »i„   I |
&*m
"There's a good type for the fraternity!"
"Perfection . . . check!    Let's make our
opening bid with a Sweet Cap."
SWEET CAPORAL CIGARETTES
" The purest form in which tobacco can be smoked" THE DAILY
UBYSSEY
16
ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS
Thursday, March 25, 1948
O.K.
SAY LOCAL EXPERTS
£ute SUai SUeei
brock Memorial Handicap Race
Six Furlongs
ROSEMARY HOTCHKISS - fine bit of horseflesh-but carrying a lot
of weight.
FELINUS CORPUS—reported to have clipped distance from middle of auditorium to stage in nothin flat—highly touted by Tim Buck to give stiff
competition.
FLAT-FEET MACDONALD—Winner of first two starts but bogged down
badly in last outing.
NORIE CLICK—highly strung filly—jockies have been riding her too hard.
PEE-WEE JOE STALIN—lots of red corpuscles—reports from Kremlin nay
best to come out of Russia.
MER-MUD STRONG—excellent on wet track—may take it all.
STANK CUNLIFFE—Did  well  on  sousy  Winnipeg  Track—may  stagger  in
again—dark horse of meet.
WH1NNEY  CHURCHILL—great  old   war-horse—but  getting  on   in  years—
however liable to just out-gallop Stalin for all the ruples.
CHUCK-WAGON TURNER—recent leg injury was to have retired this favorite to stud—tip top shape again—unbeatable in short race.
DONDER LIVINGSTONE—just about at thc end of the trail—rumoured that
his owners are shipping him to Czechoslovakia to feed the starving kiddies.
Lippy Durocherl
Plans Improving
English Courses
It was announced today that famed
Leo Durocher of the zany Brooklyn
Dodger baseball team has decided,
despite the tearful pleadings of his
devoted followers, to give up forever
his colorful diamond career. Said Leo,
"Glory and riches don't mean nothin'
to me no more, I'm toinin' to the
higher things in life—namely, long
hair stuff and Co-ed girls."
With these words the voluble,
forceful Durocher sent a wire to
President N. A. M. MacKenzie of the
University of British Columbia. He
told the University head to expect
him shortly, adding that he wanted
all professors of English and Mueic
Appreciation ftred immediately as
he was going to take over their jobs.
Leaning badk in his chair, Durocher
confided that he was fully capable
of handling both fields in all their
aspects all by himself. "I've got some
great ideera—we'll apeshalize in cow-
the EnnglUh courses, they're due for
Rugby Bosses Laud Men
Who Play For UBC Teams
City rugger moguls today complimented the University on having two
splendid teams in the load circuits. They also said Albert Laithwaite was a
rugger coach. Hilary Wotherspoon was lauded for his ahility to cover the rugger field with almost two hounds; they said he is a big bounder and was
pretty close to being two bounders.
Broondige   Squawks
About Barbara-Ann
Avery Broondige, chairman of the Yew-nited States Olympia
commission, has today protested th-> reception Canada accorded
to Barbara Ann Irish .Olympia Ice Skating queen) who recently returned to her home shores.
<§>   In the protest lodged with the Canadian Prime Minister, Mcintosh King,
boy music and jazz in the music ap-
preshiayshun courses with partickylar
emphasus on the Jew's harp. As for
a complete renovatin'. We'll feetchur
the high art of umpire baiting and
replace those stoopid Nursery rhymes
which never done nobody no good
with some good old red-blooded Detective Dime novels."
Incidentally, Lippy figures to discourage as many male students as
opssible from attending University
in order to make room for female
students—"the more coeds the better,"
he beamed,
Incidentally, Lippy figures to discourage as many male students as
possible from attending University
ln order to make room for female
students—"the more coeds the better,"
he  beamed.
COCA-COLA LTD., VAN
Ask for it either way ... both
trade-marks mean tbe same thing.
Broondige said, "How in hell can
the wonderful Yew-nited States,
(which has the tallest buildings, the
deepest rivers, the most Republicans,
and the greatest amount of bull) ever
hope to win the Olympias if Canada
insists on sending professional athletes to the games?"
Broondige then went on to charge
that Barbara Ann Irish was a professional by virtue of a coke which Mcintosh King bought her at the corner
drugstore in recognition of her work.
Says Broondige, "The wonderful
Yew-nited States, (which has the
tallest buildings, the deepest rivers,
the most Democrats, and the gretatest
amount of Bull) has been considering
honoring Canada by annexing it as
a colony—just like Haiti. If Canada
refuses to co-operate with us, however, wc shall be forced to let the
Dominion struggle along without the
benefits which the wonnderful Yew-
ited States can qffer her." Broondige
pointed out that the wonderful American nation could give Canada all
the benefits accruing from the Yew-
nited States Congress, who enjoy a
world-wide reputation for speed and
efficiency.
"What other nation can boast they
won the war single-handed-" boasts
Broondige. "It is only fair that we
wonderful Americans who nobly sacrificed ourselves to win the war for
the backward British and Canadians,
should he allowed to win tho Olyin
pia games."
IVOR WYNN
. . . Murderer?
Biq Dave Not Seen
MOSCOW. Mar. 25--Himted "Big
Dave" Brousson was not seen here
last night, Moscow authorities denied.
^*l

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