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The Ubyssey Jan 15, 1925

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Issued Weekly by the Students' Publications Board of The University of British Columbia.
Volume VII.
VANCOUVER, B. C, JANUARY 15th, 1925
No. 11
LAYERS' CLUB
RECEJVES^GIFT
Dr. A. F. B.ktfark Donates
Valuable Old Programmes
A very interesting gift has been
made to the Players' Club of the University in the form of a number of
old theatrical programmes, dating
back to the years 1830 and 1842.
These were donated by Dr. A. F. B.
Clark, who for a number of years has
been a member of the Advisory Board
of the Club. These will be framed,
as the best means of preserving them,
and hung in a suitable place in the
foyec- of the new University at Point
Grey, '-     'r , . ■ ) -     ■    ' .:,
^Several are "Command!" performances, given at the old Theatre^Royal
in'Montreal, One, dated 1842, lias
special, interest tor us, for In one of
its items,,''Past Two" o'clock in. the
Morning," Mr. Charles Dickens not
only was stage manager, but also act-
eld, In " several of the programmes,
Miss Ellen .Tree, of the famous theatrical family of that name, appeared
in such seasonable plays as Bulwer
Lytton's "Lady of Lyons," and Sheridan Knowles' "The Hunchback."
-It is interesting to note on some-of
the programmes such items as the
following: "Doors open at 7 o'clock;
curtain at 7.30"; "the theatre will be
thoroughly heated." Each programme
ends with the words "Vivant Rex £t
Regina;."        '
Several of these programmes are
printed on satin, showing the nature
of' the performances. Some are for
the benefit of the Montreal General
Hospital, an institution which has
been familiar to all students in medicine at McGill.for many generations.
VARSITY LOSES
^/SENIOR "A" GAME
Rowing Club Wins By 1 Point
in Hard Fought Game
Saturday evening at the Y. M. C. A.
Gymn. Varsity Senior A Basketballers
and the Rowing Club hooked up in
one of the best games of the season.
Prom start to finish it was a thriller.
The teams battled evenly all the way,
"the Rowing Club winning 20-19, by
virtue of a free shot, just before the
^whistle for time.
The first half of the game was clean
iand closely contested.    Only two pergonal fouls  were called in this half.
At-half-time the score was 7-4 in favor
of ,Varsity.
In the second half the Rowing Club
gradually drew even with Varsity. O.
Falconer doing most of their scoring.
With only one minute to go G. McAdam
was given a free shot for the Rowing
Club. To this final break in the game
the Rowers owe their win.
The Teams:
Rowing Club—McAdam (4), Olson
(2), Johnson, Boyes (2), Falconer (6),
Abercrombie (2), Fletcher (2).
Varsity—Newcombe (1), Arkley (2),
A. Henderson (5), Buchanan (4), Peck
(5), Grauer, Hartley (2), Wilkinson.
VARSITY FIRST SOCCER TEAM
DISTINGUISH THEMSELVES
IN CRUCIAL GAME
Wearers of Gold and Blue Hold Strong St. Andrews
Eleven to 1-1 Tie
Varsity first division pigskin chasers showed that they could hold their
own with the class of Vancouver's soccer eleven when they held the fast
stepping Sajntjyidrew^s-down to a one-
all draw at Bob Brown's enclosure, last
Saturday. It was a hard fought game
as the score indicates, if anything the
students had the edge on the play but
they lacked the finesse of the Scotchmen.
Turner bagged the first goal just
before interval when he took the ball
from Tommy Wilkinson's boot and
beat King from away out.
Varsity came right back after the
interval and soon scored through
Huestis who played a hard, bustling
game at inside left. Tommy Wilkinson at right full back played an aggressive game but perhaps had a little
tendency to go up too far.
Varsity presented a re-arranged lineup—Wilkinson played right full back
in Crute's place and Crute held down
the right half position in Buckley's
absence. Bobby Jackson at inside left
also took a well earned rest, Eric
Huestis replaced the Varsity skipper.
In the last half the Saints sharpshooters as well as Varsity passed up
many opportunities to boost their scoring averages.
A large crowd witnessed the efforts
of both elevens to break the tie and
gave the soccer men a great hand-out
for the stellar brand of soccer that
they dished up.
Varsity played a robust game and
Dave Greig, Wilson and Dagger of
the Scotties received minor injuries
during the ninety minutes of play.
Phillips at centre half proved a tower
of strength for the Collegians, whilst
Turner and Watson starred for the
Saints. King made a brilliant save in
the dying moments of the game when
Colin Campbell crashed in a hot shot
which was just going in under the
bar. The fans were loud in their
plaudits for King's spectacular save.
Varsity has good reason to be proud
of its young net-minder who has come
forward so well to replace the redoubtable Heggie Mosher. The North Vancouver star is without doubt the
youngest player in Vancouver's Senior
Soccer circles, but that doesn't prevent
his being a good custodian.
Play ended with both teams fighting
back to break the tie but both had to
be  content  with a  single  poin'.
ARTICLES "LOST"
TOO NUMEROUS
Pett/Thieving Prevalent
in University-
There has lately been a great deal
of petty thieving going on in the precincts of the University. Sums of
money, articles of clothing, and books,
have all been disappearing. Such a
state of affairs is very annoying, to
say the least, and a careful watch is
being kept for the offender or offenders.
Much of the stealing is due to the
carelessness of students themselves,
who often leave books and other articles in the most public and accessible places. Students should be more
careful, and, realizing that such negligence affords an opportunity to anyone ill-disposed, should take precautions with their property.
As to the offenders, it is only necessary to remind them that the severest
measures have been taken in the past
with anyone found guilty Any case
that the marshals discover will not
only be made public, but the culprit
will be treated with the utmost severity, and be liable to be turned over
to the police. The co-operation of
every student is asked by the marshals
in stamping out this pest among us.
' Two fast games and a dance, Normal
Gym., Saturday night. The best time
of the year!
DATE FOR DEBATE
,  FINALLY SETTLED
University of Saskatchewan To
Be Here February 5th
The date for the meeting between
U. B. C. and the University of Saskatchewan Debaters has been definitely
set for February 5, and will be held
in the King Edward Auditorium. The
subject, "Resolved that this meeting
approves the Protocol of the League
of Nations as a practical step towards
the establishment of permanent World
Peace," should attract a large and appreciative audience.
As a result of the recent tryouts,
Eric Dunn, Tommy Brown, and Gordon Telford were chosen to represent
the Varsity. Dunn and Telford are
well-known for their oratorical abilities, having represented the University
in previous forensic battles. The U-
B. C. team will uphold the affirmative, and they realize the difficulty of
the task, as it is far easier to attack
than defeat an instrument whose effectiveness is a matter of conjecture.
There has been much world-wide discussion concerning the merits of the
Protocal, and a debate on such a
timely subject should prove extremely interesting. Most of .the governments of the world are now deciding
whether to accept or reject this addition to the Covenant of the League
of Nations, and the debate should
bring '-out   interesting   arguments
SEVERAL CLUBS
.iWIMTO-NIGHT
Varsity, V. A. S C, St. Marks
and Merimaids In Action
One of the banner eyents of the year
in aquatic circles will be the carnival
to be held tonight (Thursday) in Chalmers Church tank at 8 p.m., under the
auspices of the Mermaids' Swimming
Club. The V.A.S.C., Varsity Swimming Club, St. Mark's Church, and the
Mermaid Athletic Club have all entered teams in the main events.
The Leigh Cup, representing the
Men's 200 yards Mainland Relay
Championship, is the principal trophy
at stake. Some strenuous opposition
is expected from the V.A.S.C, but
Varsity has a strong team, composing
Bruce MacDonald,' Bob McKechnie,
Johnny McLean, and Stewardson, and,
with a reasonable amount of encouragement from the rooters, experts to
add the Leigh Cup to the team's.present collection of silverware.
Several Provincial and North Pacific
champions will be seen in action tonight, including Johnny Bailey, Provincial champion in 50 and 100 yards
free style, and Chuck Hills, who holds
the North Pacific breast-stroke title,
both of whom are swimming for the
V.A.S.C. Mazie Lyons, Lillian. Broad-
foot, and other well known local swimmers will represent St. Mark's in the
ladies' events.
The" semi-finals of the Men's Inter-
class swimming competition are scheduled to'be run off on January 27fh, and
the finals will be decided on February
4th. Every class has been advised to
get its men out early,' to take advantage of the opportunity that will be
given them to train at the regular
Varsity period at Chalmers Church on
Tuesdays from 3 to 5 p.m., and on
Friday from 8 to 10 at the Canadian
Memorial Church, which has been
made available through the kindness
of the Vancouver Ama"teur "Swimming
Club.
The swimming representatives .of
each class will meet on Tuesday, January 20th.
NET-THROWERS
O STAGE DANCE
Two Games and Hop, Saturday.
Crack Duncan Squad and
Senior "A" to Clash
The Basketball Club is starting the
New Year right. This energetic club
is staging a dance on Saturday, January 17, at Normal Gym. in conjunction
with a first-class basketball game with
Duncan. Duncan was the only team
to defeat our Senior "A" team during
their tour of Vancouver Island at
Christmas and .are rated as the .best
team onihe Island." Afast preliminary
game will be played starting at 7.30-
A three-piece orchestra will provide
the music for. the-dancing which starts
at 9.30 sharp. The moderate sum of
50c will be charged for the whole
evening's entertalnmentr - —    ^ THE   UBYSSEY
January 15th, 1925
Snappy Clotfyes
for Less Money
Youths' High-Grade
All-Wool Tweed Suits
January Clearance
$19.50
AND
$21.50
An excellent offering of very
attractive and stylish Youths
Suits   in   new   models,   very
finely tailored of splendid all-
wool imported tweeds.
Sizes 34, 36 and 38.
David Spencer
Limited
LEAGUE LEADERS
DEFEAT VARSITY
Varsity'sv hockey^ team in the intermediate cityleague was once again
defeated when the champion Ex-King
George sextette breezed through them
fdr~a 6-2 win. The Varsity boys in
addition to their inexperience, showed
the lack of expert coaching necessary
to produce a winning team.
Play, as usual, opened quickly in
the first period, Ex-King George being decidedly superior. Before the
period ended Gyles scored on a pass
from Jones. A few minutes after the
beginning of the second the Ex-Kings
opened a scoring barrage which ended
only after four counters had passed
the hard working Stoodley who made
a vain yet glorious attempt to hold his
own. The period ended with Ex-King
George leading by five clear goals.
In the third stanza Varsity came to
life and Selrran, McPherson, and Demi-
doff played excellent hockey. Selman
went through alone for Varsity's only
two scores and was robbed of two
more by the net-minding of Glen Hope.
The game ended with Varsity still
striving to reduce Ex-King George's
6-2 lead.
SPRING CONCERT
BEING PLANNED
LUNCH      TEA      SUPPER
Household and Vegetarian Cooking
Phone, Seymour 2940
The Cosey Corner
MRS. DANBY SMITH
Rooms for Private Parties, Etc.
116 EMPIRE BUILDING
603 HASTINGS ST., W.
Opposite Bank of Nova Scotia
Musical Society Arranging For
High Musical Standard
The Musical Society preparations for
the Spring Concert are now in full
swing. As before there are two practices a week—the Glee Club on Tuesday and Thursday noons in the Auditorium, and the Orchestra on Monday
and Wednesday noons in St. George's
Church.
Any new members for the Glee Club
or Orchestra will be welcomed, and
are asked to apply before the end of
this week.
The music for the Spring Concert—
the great annual event of the Musical
Society—is of a considerably higher
standard this year—and a faithful
turnout of all members to the practices will be necessary to ensure a
successful conclusion to the season.
Jones—I hear that your daughter
has married a struggling young man.
Smith—Yes; he did struggle, but he
couldn't get away.
Your Choice of Any Coat
in the Store Regardless of
Its Regular Value!
Here's the overcoat opportunity of a lifetime.
Every new and wanted style and every popular
shade or color is presented in this lot. Hand
tailored from the finest of pure selected wool
English overcoatings.    Remember, there is no
limit; your unrestricted choice of any
coat in the store is yours for only
$26
WILLIAM DICK LIMITED
45-47-49 HASTINGS STREET, EAST
VARSITY JUNIORS
BEATEN IN MUD
Varsity lost sight of another trophy
Saturday, when the Juniors were eliminated from the ProvinciaT~Champion-
ship series in the third round by the
hefty, if not over-scientific St. John's
eleven from the other shore. The
grand was in terrible condition, and the
unorthodoxy of its lay-out, and the
heavy going gave the home team a
decided advantage. Added to this was
the fact that Varsity had an off-day,
and the total result is that the calibre
of the display was very poor. The
Saints were decidedly superior in their
vanguard, while Varsity's forwards
were away below par, and her defense
considerably overworked. The Saints
got two goals in the first period, when
however, the University team put up
its best show. The Blue and Gold
hopes soared when Gaudin converted
a penalty, but two goals annulled this
benefit. None of the goals were
cleanly taken, and several free kicks
just outside the penalty area were
wasted by both sides.
The Team—Stewart, Dynes, Smith;
Howarth, Miller and Taylor, McKin-
non, Gaudin, Stevenson, Pitters and
Stevenson.
How to Work Your
Way Through College
^Students who are having difficulty in
paying their way through school or
making the grades they would make
will find the following methods according to the Daily Texan of getting
money not only advantageous but in
some cases giving distinction and
notoriety. They have all been used
for many years by students of both
the past and present and have been
the makings of many well known
people in the University.
1. Short story writing. By this, of
course, we mean the writing of short
stories to one's parents. It is probably the oldest means of making
making money known in college. The
story must be concise, and creditable
if possible; the need for money should
be explained by some such ruse as
the increase of fees or the breaking
of an arm or leg.
2. Hot checks. The ambitious student will find this method very profitable and more certain as far as raising money is concerned. In writing
checks, he may sign his own name
or somebody else's name or some name
that does not exist. There is occasionally some danger on the part of the
law, which does not always appreciate
the ambitions of the student especially when he signs a name other than
his own, and, in some cases, serious
consequences have resulted.
3. Spoofing the Prof. This method of
working one's way is intended to improve the student's grades rather than
his pocketbook. It is done by calling
the prof "doctah" whether he is one
or not, speaking to him as much as
possible, and substituting "bull" for
what the student doesn't know, that
is, giving the appearance of knowledge.
This scheme is best used in conjunction with the foregoing ones; thus the
student will not only have money with
which to pay his way but will also
make a good record in his classes.
—Idaho.
FIRST  DIVISION   LEAGUE
STANDING
P W
Vancouver City  12 7
Westminster Un  11 7
St. Andrews   11 7
VARSITY  10 5
Sapperton  12 4
North Shore Un  10 3
Longshoremen   11 4
South Hill  - 11 1
SOCCER
L
D Pts.
2
3
17
2
2
16
3
1
15
4
1
11
6
2
10
5
2
8
7
0
8
9
1
3
Always
Remember!
Repairs to
Fountain Pens
WHILE YOU WAIT
if necessary
at
GEHRKE'S ^
PRINTERS, ENGRAVERS,
SOCIAL AND OFFICE
STATIONERS
651 SEYMOUR STREET
(Near Hudson's Bay)
GRANTHAAfS
IRealFruitJuiceI
party punch
PURE CONCENTRATED
FRUIT JUICES
and CANE SUGAR
. Phone for Sample
Fair. 1250
r. C. GRANTHAM & CO. LTD.
700-716 16th Avenue Weil
VANCOUVER. B.C.
FTTTttI
B.C. Public Stenographers
   FOR 	
ACCURACY AND INTELLIGENT WORK
115 Bank of Nova Scotia Building
Phone, Sey. 2696 602 Hastings St., W.
Midway ^
Pharmacy
Cor. Broadway and
Heather Street
W. H. Caldwell, Proprietor
Phone, Fair. 840
DRUGS
LOOSE-LEAF SUPPLIES
WATERMAN'S PENS
EVERSHARP PENCILS
KODAKS
NORMALS PROVE EASY
Friday evening at the Normal Gym.
the Varsity intermediate B tasketball-
ers climtjetT another step in the championship ladder by administering a
48-8 defeat to the Normals. The Normals were woefully weak in combination and all-round playing, and Varsity
were not forced to extend themselves.
Dentist—What kind of filling do you
want?
Frosh—Chocolate.
—California Pelican. January 15th, 1925
THE   UBYSSEY
3
January Sale!
All Lines Reduced
Now Is Your Opportunity
TURPIN BROS., LTD.
Men's Outfitters
629 GRANVILLE ST
j COLLEGE INN !
| 752 ROBSON ST.
| Just West of Granville.
i
1
I   Club Breakfasts, Luncheons, Dinners
| 50c. up
Also, A la Carte
COSY AND SELECT
PARTIES SPECIALLY CATERED
FOR.
I
8 a.m. to midnight.   Open on Sundays
Phone, Sey. 8096
•-.-•h}.
DRINK—
"SQUEEZE"
Grape, Lemon,
Lime and Orange
X
Bottled by
THORPES'
i$m*~**i
THE LESTER
Dancing Academy
SATURDAY  EVENING   SOCIAL
DANCE (by Invitation)
Instruction by Appointment
LESTER COURT
Seymour 1689
i
t
Ed. Da Motta
HAIR CUTTING a Specialty
Expert Attendant
2558 Heather Street
EVERYTHING FOR
Indoor and Outdoor
SPORTS
except the skill and muscle.
We are agents for the BRUNSWICK
PHONOGRAPH and RECORDS
McGill-Sparling Ltd.
Sey. 4653      718 ROBSON ST.
«H»H»H*H«HS>M«.»n»H«H«M*..*M«H*H«»«M«»»H*H«M.«n»»«M«^|
SPORT NEWS
RELAY TO TAKE
v/ PLACE SHORTLY
Of all the inter-class sport events
the annual Arts '20 relay creates the
most interest. Competition between
the various classes has been exceedingly keen In the eight-lapped road
race in the past.
The history of the race in brief is
as follows: Arts '23 was the winner
in 1920, the following year Science '24
established the still standing record
ot 36 minutes 23 seconds, Agriculture
won it then for two years in succession. The Aggies still thing they broke
the record in 1923 when they had
a great aggregation of stars. Last
year, however, the fast stepping Arts
'25 squad nosed the farmers out after
a nip and tuck battle all the way.
The '25 squad are again in the running this year and feel confident of
victory, but the inside dopesters have
got Arts '27 figured for a win. Last
year's winners have got all of last
year's eight men lined up. But the
sophomores have Charlie Mottley, Mc-
Williams, Eddie Mulherne, Newby and
others that have taken up distance
running of late, and they will make
the Seniors step.
The Aggies who have had a corner
on most of the long distance talent
in the College until lately, are a sadly depleted bunch, having lost Russell,
Hope, Eby, Wilcox, Barry, Fulton and
McKay. Les Buckley and Gab Luyatt
are practically all that's left of the
old gang.
But according to "One Punch" Challenger, manager of this year's squad,
a dark horse has come into Agriculture, Paavo Nurmi, who is reported to
be rather good. Some doubt is expressed as to whether the Finnish
star will make a place on the team,
but if so he will most likely run on
the  second  lap for the Aggies.
Arts '26 have a star in the personage of I. Balmer, who proved his
merit by winning the three-mile event
this year.
The runners of Arts '28 are dark
horses as per usual. The class has
plenty to chose from, and may upset
the dope.
Of the Science teams, '26 seems to
be the strongest. Carl Barton's huskies take their training more seriously than do most of the other years—
at least for this event.
The personnel of last year's winning team, in order of running, is:
Wasson, Craig, Thompson, H. Arkley,
S. Arkley, Hemingway, Forster McKil-
lop.
The date of the Arts '20 relay has
been set for Feb. 4, but this depends
somewhat on the weather. Track
men can be seen doing their stuff
regularly on the campus, and it looks
as if competition will be again very
keen.
^All rugby games were called off
last Saturday for some reason or
other, and a week-end went by with
no Varsity fifteen in action. This Saturday will find both Miller Cup teams
engaged, the Freshmen trying to live
up to their unbeaten record against
ex-King George, and two Canadian
rugby squads making their debut. As
there is a little over-lapping amongst
the different squads, it would seem
that some of this week's games should
have been played last week. No one
person may be to blame for this, but
it looks like poor management.
'••.•-••.•-•"••.••.i
"The success of a university is judged by the number of good students it
turns out."
"Cold irony," echoes the Christmas
grad.
SPORT EDITORIAL
Much has been heard of the commercialism of sport in universities.
We are told that, at some of the biggest U. S. colleges, football stars have
had their way paid through college
by their Alma Mater. Credited with
most of their exams., they have gone
on playing for their university long
after they have graduated. Reversing
the usual order of things, Tommy
goes to watch Dad play on the college
eleven. Coaches are paid much more
than professors at most American colleges.
At Oxford and Cambridge, we are
informed, athletes pay their way everywhere; they pay for their athletic
equipment and cheerfully shell out
the odd shilling for tuition fees for
their coaches. It is estimated that it
costs the Oxford athlete several hundreds of dollars a year for the privilege of playing for his college.
The writer does not believe that
these conditions are typical of American and English colleges, at least he
hopes they are not. They serve to
illustrate, however, how we should
not carry on our athletics at XJ. B. C.
By all means let us not commercialize our athletes, but on the other
hand let us not make our sports a
pastime that can be indulged in only
by the sons of the wealthy. So far we
have steered a fairly middle course,
but we have as yet not provided our
athletes with sufficient equipment or
efficient coaching.
It is hard to convince some people
that paying a few dollars for a good
coach is not commercializing the
sport. The success of our track team
at Edmonton was the result of coaching almost entirely. Our soccer and
boxing clubs, and several other athletic organizations, all need coaches.
U. B. C. athletes are noted for their
robust play, their fighting spirit, but
not for their skill on the field of play.
Those who watched the marvellous
machine-play of the California rugby
team, and those who will watch the
famous undefeated New Zealand All-
Blacks next month, will have some
idea of what can be accomplished by
practise and coaching in the fine
points of a game. This can be said
without belittling the splendid efforts
of some of our athletic coaches, who
have given their services voluntarily
in the past.
The students of this Varsity may
not be Canadian rugby fans, but the
manner in which the U. B. C. followers of the Eastern code have workod
to set the game on its feet cannot
fail to win admiration from everyone.
Varsity's Canadian rugby squad have
been training hard, early and late, and
they are worthy of support. Everyone should go and watch them play
their first game this Saturday against
the ex-King George outfit.
Early last term an editorial in the
"Ubyssey" attacked the practise of
students in this College of playing on
outside teams against their own College athletes. The matter was brought
up again at the last meeting of the
Men's Athletics Executive. There
may be a few extenuating circumstances, but in most cases men guilty
of this infringement of college traditions are showing poor sportsmanship
and worse college spirit. They run
the risk of becoming very unpopular,
and they merit such unpopularity,
since there is room for everyone on
our University teams.
She—"Don't you love to drive?"
He—"No—just the opposite."—Ex.
Our Entire Stock
OF
Women's and Misses'
BRUSHED-W00L
SWEATERS
(Third Floor)
NOW ON SALE
at l/2 Price.
MANY STYLES TO CHOOSE
FROM       MANY COLORS
Originally $6.95,    ^Q   Al*
NOW  tP«Jllf3
Originally $9.95,     *ȣ*    f|f|
OTHERS, TO $35.00
REDUCED ACCORDINGLY.
"^
LIMITED
575 Granville St.
ptHLIN'Pity
Bake shop
CAKES, SANDWICHES
for the
Dance or Party
2415 GRANVILLE STREET
Phone, Bayview 4076
There Are
AH Sorts
of
Athletic
Equipment
at
1020
Basketballs, Nets;
Baseballs,   Gloves.
Bats,  Sweaters,
Running   Shoes;
Lacrosse;  Badminton:
Punching   Bags.
To list the Athletic
Equipment here, talk a
little about it or make
price comparisons
would smash into the
"fence" that hems in
this space, because
there is so much athletic equipment at
1020 to talk about.
&
Lisle Fraser
Sporting Goods
1AOA  GRANVILLE
1UZU STREET 1/
THE   UBYSSEY
January 15 th, 1925
alii? IbgHBpg
(Member   Pacific   Inter-Collegiate   Press
Association)
Issued  every  Thursday  by  the  Publications Board of the University of
British Columbia.
Extra Mural Subscription,  $2.00 per
Session.
For  Advertising  Rates, apply
Business Manager. Phone Fair. 2093
EDITORIAL STAFF
Editor-in-Chief T. W. Brown
Senior Editor Miss Helen MacGill
Associate Editors .....Miss Sadie Boyles
A. Earle Birney
William C. Murphy
Exchange Editor John  Grace
Literary  Editor  Miss  Doris McKay
Sporting Editors H. Les. Buckley
Laura Mowatt
Copy   Editor Marion   Smith
Chief   Reporter Kenneth   A.   Schell
Reporters — Florence Williams,
Dorothy Arkwright, Mary Esler,
Jean Fraser, Janet Watson, Margaret
Smith, Les Graham, Donald Gillingham,
David Warden, Francis Stevens, Robert
Wright, G. W. Ashworth, James Dunn,
Dave Taylor, T: S. Byrne, F. W. Dira-
mick, Peter  Palmer.
BUSINESS  STAFF
Business Manager H. A. Thompson
Circulation  Manager E.   J.   Eades
Business Assistants....!!.  G. McWilliams
J. Stanley Allen
W.  F. McCulloeh
EDITOR   FOR   THE   WEEK
Earle  Birney
AT LAST WE MOVE
Last year's Ubyssey flies remind us
that the New Year editorial for 1924,
was an assurance that "This is our
last year in Fairview,"—and here we
are in 1925 saying the same thing, but
this time with real conviction. A year
ago we spoke with irrational optimism of the day so soon coming, when
at Point Grey we would find ourselves
"housed in Gothic stateliness." (We
see for ourselves now that it isn't
Gothic). And now that the time really
is "at hand; we for one are not so jubilant! ' i
Of course it has been uncomfortable
here, though after the first year or so
one grows callous, and almost enjoys
being the second layer squeezed in a
seat at the pinnacle of room Z—and it
isn't after all so exasperating if there
is" no seat left in the reading room or
the stacks, so that, through, the' force
of circumstances, the only thing left
to do is to take a walk. But think of
all our new accommodation will entail. In that commodious library building there will always be a seat for us,
and no churches need be borrowed for
history lectures. Nevertheless, we
have become too attached to our miseries to be very glad to part with them.
And so this year's editorial is a wail
for departing glory. (We are not expecting the pampered generation of
Arts '29 to be at all sympathetic).
POETIC STERILITY
One of the things which has proved
extremely disappointing to us this
year, has been the comparative lack
of interest evinced in the Literary
Corner" of the Ubyssey. The only
means we have by which to judge of
its appeal to the students is by the
poems contributed, and despite the
numerous attempts on the part of the
editorial board to awaken inspiration
in embryo poets, the results have been
on the whole discouraging. Those
students, particularly seniors and
graduates, who have been in the habit
of submitting their original work, have
continued to do so, and but for their
timely aid the Literary Corner would
long since have ceased to exist. The
regrettable thing is that few in the
junior years have profited by their
example, and practically no new talent has been discovered among the
students. In this way one of the
primary arms' of the Literary Corner
has been defeated.
Some.years ago the University had
a much larger number of students actively interested in poetry, making possible the publication of a Chapbook;
and although it would be difficult to
equal the achievements of this brilliant group of students, yet some effort
should be made to benefit by what they
have done, and carry on the tradition.
Nothing is to be gained by setting back
and viewing complacently a reputation already established—it must be
maintained.
BY THE WAY
One Crossword Begets Another
Wasn't the seniorette who reproached the men of '27 for "holding up" the
gowns of their co-eds rather hard on
them?- Surely such a return to chiv-
alric customs deserves to be fostered.
The sophomores are only doing what
pages were wont to do. If encouraged,
ter Raleigh, and spread their own
they may revive the spirit of Sir Wal-
gowns on the muddy campus for the
maintenance of the shine on co-educational shoes.
Honi soit qui mal y pense.
 O	
In ye goode olde dayes they called
it making faces; now they call it
registering emotion.
 O	
The cynic says, "Sentimentalism is
idealism in practice."
WARNING TO GOWNLESS
There are still about fifty gowns
awaiting their owners at the Aurora
Silk Co.'s store. All who have ordered
gowns but have not yet secured them
should attend to the matter immediately. Gowns will be held until the
end of this month, after which date
bills will be mailed to all purchasers
who have not claimed their order.
Varsity's Service
^      Record Published
A valuable and authoritative record
of this University's participation in
the Great War is now available with
the publication, this week, of the official "Record of Service," of all members of the faculty of students of U.
B. C, Vancouver College and McGill
University College, who served overseas or enlisted for such service.
The book is the result of many
months of labor on the part of the
Faculty Association Committee, consisting of Mr. R. H. Clark (Chairman),
Messrs. H. F. Angus, H. Ashton, H. T.
Logan and W- N. Sage, assisted by
Messrs. S. M. Scott, L. A. Elliott and
A. F. Roberts. Great credit is due
them for the thorough manner in which
they have collected and condensed all
the reliable information obtainable,
into the confines of a neat and artistic
volume.
The "Record of Service," bound in
blue and gold, and capably printed by
Lionel Ward Co., gives briefly the facts
relating to the details of service of
every man, the ranks held, honors received, with fuller details in the case
of the dead, together with the dates
and nature of collegiate connections.
Many of the names appearing are of
professors and students who are at
present at the University.
The volume is prefaced with a fitting
introduction by President Klinck.
Publication is financed by the University Board of Governors, and a copy
of the book will be given to each man
whose name appears therein, or to the
next of kin in the case of the deceased.
Extra copies will be placed on sale
shortly in the Registrar's Office to
meet the expected demand.
Two fast games and a dance, Normal
Gym., Saturday night. The best time
of the year!
of
Information to Students
FEES
Second Term Fees are now due, the last
day  for  payment beings January  19th,
1925.
After this date an additional fee of $2.00
will be exacted of all students in default.
To avoid congestion students are requested
not to leave payment of fees until theiast
day.
Pay your fees at the Fee Wicket from
9:30 a.m. to 12:00 noon.
1:15 p.m. to 4:00 p.m.
Saturdays : 9:30 a.m to 1 2:00 noon.
BOOK STORE
will be open daily.
F. DALLAS, Bursar.
Br
=£1 January 15th, 1925
THE   UBYSSEY
Snappy Styles
for University
Students
Priced all the way
from
$4.85
TO
$10,00
WILSONS
TWIN SHOE STORE
157-159 Hastings St., W.
Evans & Hastings
-:-     -:-      PIONEER      -:-      -:-
BETTER QUALITYj PRINTERS
Prices Right
34-YEAR    SUCCESSFUL    BUSINESS    CAREER
IN     VANCOUVER     PROVES    CONCLUSIVELY
THAT   WE  ARE   FAVORED   MORE   THAN
OTHERS BY THE EXACTING PUBLIC
WHEN   THEY   DESIRE   THEIR
.    . MONEY'SIWORTH.    -
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We make a specialty of
Magazines, Annuals,
Dance Programmes, Legal Forms
and
General Commercial Printing
See us before ordering elsewhere.
Phone, Sey. 189      576 Seymour St.
For Your Dance or Party
take the Promenade
2094 Beach Avenue
Excellent Floor, Heating and Ventilation
Fire-Places and all Accommodation.
WEAR   A   MANN'S   SHIRT
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j    Correspondence    j
,„........—......-........-.^.
This column is maintained for the use
of students and others who wish to express themselves in moderate language
on any topic of general interest. The
"Ubyssey" does not assume responsibility  for   any   of the views expressed.
All contributions must be signed and
written legibly in ink; on one side of
the paper only. They must not exceed
two hundred words in length, and must
reach this office not later than noon
Monday, in order to appear in the issue
of the following   Thursday.
Y     FRIVOLITY DEPLORED
Dear Editor:
For a supposed institution of learning the students of this University
certainly progress in a fearful and
wonderful way. Tuesday noon a lineup of men waited outside the Students
Council office from ten o'clock till
noon, the number being gradually augmented as time progressed. How
many of these students missed lectures for this purpose? How many of
them would line up outside a classroom for the purpose of obtaining suitable seats so that they could gather
words of wisdom from the lips of one
who has spent his or her life in the
pursuit of knowledge for the sole purpose of imparting it to those desirous
of learning. And what do those people
get for this misplaced zeal? Some few
obtain the right to while away the best
hours of the day, hours that could be
spent to real purpose, in the arms of
some foolish female while an equally
foolish orchestra pours forth upon the
air the barbaric strains that may be
politely termed jazz.
The sooner this nonsense is done
away with the sooner will the minds
of the students be turned into the
proper channels and a real University
established. The least that might be
done is to hold the dance in such a
place that tickets would be available
for all who are perverted enough to
patronize it and save the furore that
the struggle for tickets causes.
Yours for a University where
scholarship comes first.
Disappointed.
 o	
( VARSITY ATHLETICS
Jan.  13th,  1925.
The Editor,
"The Ubyssey,"'
Present.
Dear Sir:
A matter of importance has been
brought to my attention during the
past week regarding the lack of support of athletic activities on the part
of certain students. We find in our
student body numbers of students who
are needed by our various athletic
teams, playing for other organizations,
often in direct competition with us.
We feel that this Is an attitude contrary to the best interests of our Alma
Mater Society arid is a condition which
exists iff no other college. Our University has too few athletes, and every
player is needed to enable our teams
to compete successfully in the various
leagues and divisions in.-, which: they
are entered- Apart from this consideration such a principle is detrimental
to the sporting ideals and traditions
which we are endeavouring to establish in our University.
At a meting of the Executive of the
Men's Athletic Association it was decided to give notice of motion of
amendment to the Constitution of the
Men's Athletic Association, to read
that:
"Any player participating in a game
in any branch of sport in teams opposing University teams, without obtaining permission from the Men's Athletic
Association, shall be declared ineligible for any letter award from this
University."
Yours truly,
T. G. WILKINSON,
President M. A. A.
CHINESE DEFEAT
VARSITY SECONDS
Game Close—and Featured
By Mud
The second soccer team, aspirants
to the Brunswick Cup, succumbed to
the mighty onslaughts of the Chinese
Students led by the redoubtable Quene
at Heather Fark on Saturday.
The tale is a sad one. The grounds
were slippery and the ball slipperier
and the play unpolished and graceless, full of thrills and spills. In the
first half U. B. C. initiated an offensive which they doggedly maintained
and through a combination of good
foottall and good luck amassed the
comfortable surplus of two goals by
the respective feet of Reid and Evans.
The balance of the play was confined
to the left wing, Robertson feeding
Mcintosh well, but the latter seemed
unable to cross the heavy ball. The
Chinese were constantly making solo
rushes down the field, dangerous but
ineffective. In a mixup in front of the
Chinese goal one of the opponents
obligingly handled the ball around the
post; Cant, however, refused to convert the resultant penalty.
After gorging themselves on oranges
the U. B. C. fell fast asleep on resumption of play; on the other hand the
Ghinese, invoking the spirits of their
ancestors proceeded to steal the proverbial golden egg. By a series of
irresistible rushes they evened the
score, Quene then putting them one
ahead. In desperation the Blue and
Gold rushed tack and in some inexplicable fashion Cant and Evans juggled the ball through the goalmouth.
The score was now 3-3. Again the
Chinese hordes swept down but Warden, who gave a tireless display at
back, consistently broke up their attacks and especially those of their
elongated centre forward Quene. With
a minute to go some celestial opportunist slammed the ball goalward and
the pagan Sutherland failed to clear.
The whistle tooted with climatic suddenness, with U. B. C. one down.
Tug-of-War Won by
Aggies and Sc. '27
The inter-class'jrugjiojjgar got away
to a good start on Monday, when the
first round was completed. By virtue
of it Sc. '27 and the Aggies enter the
2nd round. The Aggies, those sturdy
homebrew farmer boys, threw away
their pitchforks while they pulled like
sailors on the rope but, curiously
enough, they retained their broad-
brimmed straw hats. They defeated
Arts '26, who were much outweighed,
in two straight pulls. The other contest, featuring Sc. '27 and Sc. '26 was
much more scientific as the members
stopped half-way through to use their
slide rules to find out whether pulling
while standing on the heads would impair the derivative of the fabric of
the rope. Sc. '27 finally won after a
spirited contest.
Party Dresses
at $17.50
The cleverness of the styles, the
bewitching color combinationsand
the quality of the materials—how
utterly impossible to give a "word
picture" of the charming frocks
comprised in this collection !
One thing certain, though, when
you see them, you'll wonder how
it's possible to find such dresses at
$17.50. Ostrich, silver and gold
tissue give fashionable trimming
touches, while such new shades as
lemon, orange, rose and other delicate tones give ample colour
choice.
Small sizes only. Values to $29.50.
Extra Special at $17.50
&■■■■■:
Hudson's Bay Company
Vancouver, B. C.
■
YOU WILL FIND IN THE
SPROTT
HAW
CHOQLS
 OF	
COMMERCE and TELEGRAPHY
Courses of Instruction.which are
advantageous for almost everyone.
Not only have we prepared many
University Students for fine Secretarial positions, but we have a
first-class
ACADEMIC DEPARTMENT
in charge of J. B. Fleming, M.A.,
in which we coach students of the
first and second years in Languages, Mathematics, Science and
Economics.
If we can be of any service to you.
give us a call.
I Seymour 1810; Fairmont 41
I Seymour 7125; Seymour 7451
Phones
R.-J. SPROTT, B.A., Manager-
;y^    HIGH JINKS
Stop, look and listen girls! The big
event of the season is-en-its way and
there will be great goings on the night
of the thirteenth of February. Shake
out the moth-tails and resurrect your
snappiest costume and prepare to
win the prize! Which event?—why
High Jinks of course. But look for
more about it later and in the meantime rack any remains of brains left
over from exams for something funny
or sad or solemn or whatever is most
out of keeping with your nature to
wear.
AMBASSADOR CAFE
610 Seymour Street
  Headquarters for Service 	
Club Luncheons, Dinners, Banquets and Conventions
Private Dining Rooms for Private Parties.
Suitable for Meetings and Socials. Fraternity Banquets a Specialty.
music, Dancing* Entertainment
EVERY EVENING - - 9.00 p.m. to 1:00 a.m THE   UBYSSEY
January 15th, 1925
Loose-Leaf Ring Books
and Refills
Fountain Pens
Drawing Instruments
and
Drawing Materials
Slide Rules
THE
Clarke & Stuart
Co., Ltd.
Stationers, Printers, &c,
550 SEYMOUR STREET
PHONE, SEYMOUR 3000
Phone Sey. 4000
FOR A
t !
Phones : Fair. 77,   Fair. 5660-R        j
WILLOW HftLL j
j 806 17th AVENUE, WEST j
I       One Block West of Heather Street      \
This Hall is for rent to Clubs and
Private Parties.
For terms apply to F. S. LOCKETT,   \
T. J. KEARNEY & CO.
Jfluttrral BirrrtorH
Private Ambulance Service
PHONE, FAIRMONT 3
802-808 Broadway, West, Vancouver, B.C.
The Palm Garden
FRUIT, CONFECTIONERY,
ICE CREAM and TOBACCO
HOT LUNCHES SERVED,
Also, AFTERNOON TEAS.
Phone, Fair 377
Cor. 10th & Heather St.
I CO-ED ATHLETICS
^  BASKETBALL
Senior A basketball team won a vic-
tory fromThe YJ_W. C- A- Saturday
evening, in the Normal gymnasium,
with a score of 11—17. This is the
first time this season the Y. W. C. A.
have been defeated, but they are still
the leaders of the league.
The Varsity line-up was as follows:
Doris Shorney (2), Marjorie Bell, Iso-
bel Russell, Flora Musgrave (7), Gay
Swencisky  (4), Winona Straight (2).
 O	
.. The Women's Athletic Executive
held a meeting last Thursday noon,
to make arrangements concerning inter-class sports to be held this term.
It was decided that for the basketball
games the draw system would Be used
instead of a schedule, as previously
planned, on account of the length of
time required by the latter. January
12 has been set aside for inter-class
practice, and the first game of the
competition will be played on Monday, January 19. The result of the
draw is as follows: Arts '26 vs. Arts
'27, Arts '25 vs. Arts '28, the winners
of the first two will play the winners
of the second two for first place.
 O	
The inter-class swimming meet will
be held on Wednesday, Jan. 28, in
Chalmers tank. The Athletic representatives are urged to get the girls
of their respective years out to practise.
The President of the Women's
Swimming Club wishes to announce
that new members for this term will
be admitted at the reduced fee of
$1.00.
/ The President of the Gymnasium
Club has announced that those who
wish to join the class for the remainder of the term will be admitted at
the reduced rate of 50c.
Co-eds to Run Pep
y   Convocation Friday
The first general meeting of 1925
will take a new and original form on
Friday noon, when the co-eds of the
University will put on a pep meeting.
The various songs and skits promise
to ensure those wise enough to attend
a jolly and entertaining hour. (It
is even whispered that there will be a
solo dance).
The seer of the year prophesies that
there will be a new yell circulating on
Saturday.
Leader—Who put the "pep" in pep
meeting?
Rooters—The Girls—
Leader—What Girls?
Rooters—The Girls of U. B. C.
Leader—Who says so?
Rooters—Everybody.
Leader—Who's everybody?
Rooters—The Varsity.
Everybody out.
Before the meeting Jazz Caps will
be on sale.
La Causerie will hold the first meeting of the term on Tuesday evening, at
7.45. The play "Rosalie," which was
performed by the members of LaCan-
adienne last term, will be given, those
taking part being, Miss Alda Moffat,
Miss Doris MacKay and Mr. Kenneth
Miller. Watch the notice board for
the place of meeting.
Reformer: Young man, do you realize that you will never get anywhere
by drinking?
Stewed: Ain't it th' truth? I've
started home £rom this corner five
times already.
Hi
LITERARY CORNER!
i f
U40RACE, ODE  I. II.
Leuconoe, such knowledge were a sin!
Seek not to know what length of life
the Gods
To me, to thee have given, nor consult
The Babylonian numbers.   Better far
Endurance of whatever iray befall!
Whether on thee Jove other years
bestows,
Or grants this present winter as thy
last,
Which on the hollowed crags that
face the surf
Now breaks the force of the Tyrrhenian sea.
Be wise, prepare thy wine; remembering
How short our life, cease hoping what
may come.
For Time the churlish, even while
we speak,
Is ever flying: therefore seize To-day,
And in To-morrow put no trust at all.
THE LETTERS CLUB PRIZE
Essays for the Letters Club Prize
in Canadian Literature will be on one
of the following subjects:—
1. Home and the Soil in Canadian
Poetry.
2. A study of the work of either
Marjorie Pickthall or Norman Duncan.
Essays should be at least 1500 words
in length. They must be in the hands
of Dr. Walker, Honorary President of
the Club, on or before the first day
of April, 1925.
THE UNIVERSITY BOOK
PRIZE
Competitors for the University
Book Prize in 1924-25 will write on
one  of  the  following  topics:—
1. Maurice Hewlett in the Romantic Past.
2. Joseph Conrad's Prose.
Essays   must   be   submitted   to   the
Head   of  the   Department  of  English
by April 1, 1925.
Nothing conveys thoughtfulness
and cheer like
A CHRISTMAS PORTRAIT
X
gbarlton $ Raibbun
PHOTOGRAPHERS
Specialists in Colour  Portraits
X
711 Holden Bldg., 16 Hasting St., E.
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Phone, Seymour3360
BI6IINEERING and
DRAFTING SUPPLIES
Canadian Distributors for
A. Yi. Faber Pencils
Carl Zeiss Binoculars
Icacameras
Hughes Owens Co. Ltd.
ealt Building
WINNIPEG  -   -  Manitoba
HOT MEALS
11 a.m. to 3 p.m.
Superior Service
Popular Prices
Burns Drug Co., Ltd.
Opposite Hotel Vancouver
> A Little Different.
Sober (to inebriate who is trying to
strike wrong end of match): "Why
not use the other end?"
Said Inebriate: "Aw, anybody can
do it that way."
Electricity-^
Greatest Servant
ONLY when we are compelled to
do without some of the benefits
which we take for granted in our daily
existence, do we appreciate their > full
value and importance.
Electric light and power service is
supplied 24 hours a day, year in and
year out, but occasionally interruptions
of a few minutes duration occur.
It is then that the interruption is
noticed and the continuous service the
rest of the time forgotten. They serve
only to emphasize the importance of
electric light and power to the community.
British Cowmm^^LECTmcMsjimCo.
HEAD OFFICE
VANCOUVER^, B.C.
69 January 15 th, 1925
THE   UBYSSBY
J. W. Foster Ltd.
345 Hastings Street,   West
FIT REFORM CLOTHES
All the Newest Models in
College Suits and Overcoats,
at Prices that are Right.
BURBERRY COATS
See US Before Buying
Best Productions direct from
New York at the
Strand Theatre
Excellent features and artists
that can be seen or heard
nowhere else in Vancouver.
^/OUTDOORS CLUB
Ten enthusiasts of the Outdoors
Club journeyed to the cabin on Grouse
Mountain last week end and in spite
of 7 feet of snow thoroughly enjoyed
themselves. After snowshoeing most
of the way to the cabin, all hands fell
to and prepared enough grub to feed
an army. This was speedily despatched and the troops turned in for
the night, only to be disturbed by a
member arriving at 2:30. Sunday
morning was spent in sawing lumber
for the floor and in putting in the windows. About 5 o'clock the gang returned to town through a raging
storm, but even the weather couldn't
dim the pleasure of the expedition.
Next hike will be Saturday, 17th. Get
the 2:40 North Vancouver ferry.
V   CLASSICS CLUB
A meeting of the Classics Club will
be held at 8 p.m. on Saturday, January 18th at the home of Dr. Todd. A
paper dealing with the Roman Tribunate will be read by Mr W. Minaty, and
a paper dealing with Etruscan Civilization will be read by Mr. C. Mclntyre.
The meeting promises to be exceptionally interesting, and a cordial invitation to attend, is extended to all
people, in the senior years, who are
interested in Classical subjects. Dr.
Todd's address is 299 W. 19th Ave.
v   MATHEMATICS CLUB
The first meeting of the term will be
held on Thursday, January 15th at
4 p.m. in Room 34. Mr. W. Gage will
speak on the subject, "Probability."
All those interested are invited to attend.
Two fast games and a dance, Normal
Gym., Saturday night. The best time
of the year!
t
|.>^-|..t.».t.t.t.^.t,»^..>.>.».«H».».».».»-tW».>.4Mt.«.|
V     STRAW FROM THE STACKS
T
•
EDITORATIOCI NATION
A decidedly lamentable linguistic
degeneration is rapidly approaching
intolerable intensity within this academic institution. The employed vocabularies of students are universally experiencing deperdition of practically
all polysyllabic terminologies. University habitues now content themselves, in their compositions or con-
colloquial monosyllables and hackneyed abbreviations solely, and, conversations, with the manipulation of
sequently, the venerable institutions
of complex muncupation are becoming
archaized. The comprehensive character of the phenomenon induces the
observer to categorize is as phychol-
ogical in nature. Not only are the conversational embarkations Of ordinary
students remarkable for a paucity of
those polysyllabic etymons which are
the expected concomitants of the confabulations of educated interlocution-
ists, but the penned dissertations submitted as compositional essays by
intra-mural abecedarians also unkennel
such a regrettable condition of immaturity in phraseology that professorial celebrities dilapidate their capillary organs daily in mortification.
Even those collegiate novitiates with
presumably superior abilities, repor-
torial TJbyssydes, weekly submit reports virtually infecund of any multi-
stressed terminology. The demoralization is universal. Putting the matter
succinctly, sesquipedalianism has become a supposititious accomplishment.
One hope is left. Cross-word puzzles!
We got a good wheeze out of an
old copy of "Punch." It appears that
some English newspaper said that
something reminded them of the story
of King Alfred and the Spider. Mr.
Punch says that he prefers the story
of how Bruce let the Bannockburn.
Oh, go and look in the History.
A nigger sat on the railroad track,
And   he   wouldn't   budge.
'Long came a train—
Chocolate fudge.
Men will always be men. They
are divided into two classes, says
the modern co-ed—the found out and
the not found out.
Bot—What makes your father so
stoop-shouldered ?
Zet—getting in and out of patrol
wagons.—Colgate Banter.
So She Will.
Sweet Old Lady (speaking on Social Service)—"The social service
worker has found her way into the
homes and hospitals, and she will
soon find her way into the asylum."
FOR   SALE
Hair nets—superior quality—guaranteed for two dances and a car drive.
The Sheik (after forty minutes' conversation): "Hello, Central! Can't I
get a better line?"
Central (who has heard most of it):
"What's the matter with the one you
have?"
There was a young lady named Ella
Who had a bow-legged fellow.
One day he said "Please
Come sit on my knees."
She did, and fell through to the cellar.
Keep your hats on—the woodpeckers
are coming.
THE   LOVER   CONSULTS   HIS
THESAURUS.
Oh, lady, woman, female, filly,
Dame, maiden,  flapper, Jane,
You've  made  me  nutty,  crazy,  silly,
Unbalanced,  mad,  insane.
I worship, adulate and love you,
Admire, adore,  acclaim,
I swear by  heaven up above you
For you I burn, glow, flame.
Flare, fulmigate, consume and smoulder,
Seethe, broil and incandesce;
For, to the eye of this beholder,
Your  style,  charm,  loveliness,
Bloom, beauty, pulchritude and fairness
Unmatched,  unrivaled  are,
And of such pricelessness  and  rareness
That  never   comet,   star.
Sun, satellite, orb, world or planet,
Holds   comparable  grace
To yours;   and every time I scan it
I  know  that all through space
You are unique,  lonely,  solitary,
Supreme,  without  a  peer.
I say this in a fashion very
Frank,  honest,   true,  sincere.
And should you pick some other fellow,
Guy,  gink,  gazabo,  bird,
I'd turn blue, green and sickly yellow,
I would, upon my word.
I'd  lothe,  abhor,  abominate  him,
Disrelish and detest,
Envenom,  execrate,  and hate him
With vigor,  vim and  zest.
My love will not change, shift or falter,
But stay, remain, abide.
Come, let us march up to the altar
Be wed, spliced, married, tied!
-«.>««3»*>.*>
PEMBINA APPETIZER
Fresh: "I would like to have something out of the ordinary for breakfast."
Fresher: "What about some mosquito's eyebrows on toast?"
Freshest: "Impossible. If mos-
quitos are at all up-to-date their eyebrows would be plucked."
Tourist: Brother! We've climbed
to the top of this mountain to see the
view, and we've forgotten the glasses.
Scottish Guide: Och! Never mind,
there's nobody aboot. We can just
drink oot o' the bottle.
Isidore:    "My girl puts me in mind
of a bungalow."
Isaac:    "Why, too chilly?"
Isidore:    "No, no.    She uses paint
and is shingled on top."
M. L. S. Win First
j   ,     League Struggle
The Men's Lit. participated for the
first time in the revived City Debating League, when it met and defeated
the Knights of Columbus on the resolution: "Resolved that the infliction of
the supreme penalty for capital crimes
is in accord with the modern standards of civilization."
There are, at present, about fourteen teams participating and the fight
for the shield and cup should prove
interesting. We only hope that in the
future there will be a greater turnout,
that on Friday night being composed
mainly of members of the Knights of
Columbus. In the future, however, it
will probably receive greater support,
especially if the University continues
to win. The second debate of the
series will be held next Monday at the
Y. M. C. A. when the Men's Lit. meets
the Y Men's Club.
ALL
OVERCOATS
REDUCED
"The Values Are Great"
C. D. Bruce
LIMITED
Cor. of Hastings and Homer St».
TORONTO'S IDEA
y      OF HAPPINESS
In his altogether delightful fantasy
"The Crock of Gold," James Stephen
puts into the mouth of the god Pan
some quaint philosophy. Questioned
by a pedant as to the nature of virtue,
the merry deity replies "Virtue is the
performance of pleasant actions."
"And what then, is vice?" retorts
his questioner.
"It is vicious," says Pan, "to neglect
the performance of pleasant actions."
"If this be so," the other comments,
"philosophy has up to the present been
on the wrong track. . . . and if it
is true the whole conduct of life will
have to be very much simplified."
"Life is already very simple," replies
Pan, "it is to be born and die, and in
the interval to eat and drink, to dance
and sing, to marry and beget children."
"Simply materialism," retorts the
pedant, failing, however, to ruffle Pan.
Perhaps it is materialism, but hardly the sort of materialism to which
one refers opprobriously. For after
all, aren't all the essentials contained
there. "To dance and sing" simply
means, of course, to be happy, and to
show one's happiness in the most natural way.
A selfish life, you say. But why selfish? For does not the average mortsl
gain happiness in seeing others happy.
So, to gain his end, he must first see
that others are not much worse off
than himself.
What place has the acquisition of
knowledge in such a scheme of existence? None, if such an acquisition
does not assist in producing happiness.
An important place, if the seeker after
knowledge becomes more happy when
he has found something of what he is
seeking.
The struggle for existence or success in this "complicated" modern
world would be much less severe if
we could only see that each one of us
is trying to grasp something which we
may all have—and not something
whose acquisition prevents someone
else from having it.—"The Varsity."
Co-ed Orators
y   To Battle Soon
The annual contest in public speaking will take place on Wednesday,
January 28th, at 8 p.m., in the Auditorium. Candidates are required to
make ten minute speeches on any subject of interest. Two substantial book
prizes are awarded to the two best
speakers. It is to be hoped that any
girls possessing oratorical talent will
make a special effort to enter the contest. The names of the candidates
should be placed on the sign posted
on the notice board on the third floor
as soon as possible. FT?
8
THE   UBYSSEY
January 15th, 1925
TRADE
a.Di
MARK
HIKING
THESE DAYS ?
We have a complete line of
Snowshoes
Moccasins
Hiking Boots
Sweaters
Stockings
Toques
COME AND SELECT YOUR
OUTFIT.
Get the BEST QUALITY
at REASONABLE PRICES
424 Hastings Street, W.
VANCOUVER, B. C.
WE HAVE THE BEST
Adjustable Clamp Lamp
ON THE MARKET.
Can be attached anywhere.      Movable
Shade.   Indispensable to every student.
Price, $2.50 only
including six feet of cord.
For sale only at the
GREAT WEST SALES CO.
Room 309, 315 PENDER ST., W.
Say you saw it in the "Ubyssey"
BAGGAGE
TO       FROM
ALL TRAINS  AND  BOATS
ROYAL  TRANSFER
PHONE, SEY. 6
DANCING
x
Private and Class Lessons
Lady and Gentlemen
Teachers
W. E. Fenn's School
COTILLION HALL
Seymour 3058-O or Seymour 101
f(~	
Portraits car
be made
at
1
any time
UP.
from the
GRADUATION
PHOTOGRAPHS
O^STU DIOS
i
'	
-p-x
553 Granville St.
 U
The World's Best Cross-Word Puzzle
The Publications Board regrets to announce that owing to a difference of
opinion among the instigators of the puzzle which appeared last week, no answer
can be printed. However, to satisfy a universal demand, we are printing" this
week another puzzle, the result of months of collaboration of the keenest intellects in Canada. This puzzle is absolutely perfect in every detail, and is, we believe, the best puzzle that the "Ubyssey" has ever printed. To help some of
the younger students, we give one ,difflcult solution which would have been an
almost insurmountable obstacle to those unaccustomed to such mental gymnastics: No. 35, horizontal, an abbreviation for rat, is rt. With this assistance
everyone ought to finish the puzzle before the end of his one o'clock lecture.
HORIZONTAL.
1.   What you are when you say damn.
9.    Manufacturer    of    a   well-known
beneficial tonic.
10. Scotch for kind.
11. To act.
13. French  for the  favorite  pastime
of University youths and maidens.
15. Royal Navy (ah.).
16. Anger.
18. Not dash!
19. Girl's name.
20. Common coin.
22.    Persian judge.
23-    What makes the vine cling?
24. Ripped.
26. African golf balls.
28. A kind of stare.
29. Incorporated (ab.).
31. Girl's name.
32. An exc]amation.
33. A golf term-
35. Rat (ab.).
36. Prohibit.
37. Where Daniel passed the night.
38. Having to do with a church cere
mony.
VERTICAL.
1. Signs.
2. Latin for concerning.
3. Comes after tail.
4. Burden.
5. Burden.
6. International Laundry Employees
(ab.).
7. Slang for all right.
8. Characteristic of the name "Tom
my."
12. Pound in mines.
14. Action implying assent.
15. Spare the   and spoil the
child!
17. Not exit.
19.   Flower (American spelling).
21. Too many children!
22. Well-known figure in Spanish history.
25. Scotch exclamation.
27. Name of Canadian railway (ab.)
28. An island off the coast of Scot
land.
30. To yield.
33. Existed in prehistoric U.S.A.
34. Chinese coin.
36. Comes after U.
INSTITUTE HEARS
PROF. DICKERS
A most elucidating address on
"Wireless Telegraphy and Telephony"
was presented by Professor_Vickfirs
at the Vancouver InstltnteTast Thursday night. Mr. E. Cole conducted a
number of fascinating electrical experiments to demonstrate the theories
which the speaker developed in great
detail.
In 1901 Signor Marconi, the experimenter of wireless fame, sent his first
transatlantic code message from the
Cabot Tower, . Newfoundland. He
found that a current of seventy-five
kilowats was necessary to drive his
signals across the two thousand miles
of ocean. Though subsequent attempts
to carry on long distance communication met with frequent interruption,
extensive experiments were conducted. A 1000- kilowat station at Bordeaux was successful in establishing
communication with America. To-day
men of science have won far greater
556 Granville Street
Phone, Sey. 5330
PARIS
APPROVED
BOBS
'W'OU may not be aware
of the fact, but there is
an individual style of Bob
to suit the features'and age
of every woman. Different
styles of Bobs become different facial types. The
experts of our remodelled
Hairdressing Parlors are
fully conversant with the
newest styles in Paris-Bobs
and Waves.
Modern Equipment
Efficient Help
Satisfactory Service        —■'
This is xvhat you are
assured of here.
What Varsity
Did to Victoria-
more of
Beat them at Rugby.
Beat them at Badminton..
Beat them at Basketball.
Beat them at Rowing, etc.
Kept them awake at night,
also kept some Vanoouver-
ites awake, and that's that!
Can they beat Viotoria
at DANCING ?
I'll say they can, if a few
them would take  Lessons from
VAUGHN MOORE
518 HASTINGS ST., W.
Seymour 707
O" TRY AND  FIND  US "«»
success in long distance transmission
by utilizing the newly discovered principle of beam transmission from parabolic reflectors.
The speaker gave a very scientific
explanation of the main principles in
electricity.
To-night, in the Physics Lecture
Room, at 8.15 p.m., Rev. A. H. Sovereign, F.R.G.S., of the Alpine Club,
will give an illustrated lecture on
"Mount Garibaldi."
Wmwrm^mmwrmrmwrmmmrtimr.
What Are Your Accomplishments ?
If dancing is not included in them NOW, it it YOUR business to make
it so.       To-day dancing is not only an accomplishment—it is really necessary for a successful career, and we must move with the times.
The best of tuition only at
Broadway Dancing Academy
1400 BROADWAY, W. (One Block East of Granville St.)
Phone, Bay. 5834 "We Correct AH Faults."

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