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The Ubyssey Jan 6, 1926

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Issued Twice Weekly by the Students' Publications Board of The University of British Columbia.
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Volume VIII.
VANCOUVER, B. C, JANUARY 6th, 1926
BaMBSBBSSSCa
No. 17.
HUNDREDS ENJOY TRIP
TOjVlCTORIA LAST WEEK
Plenty of Spirit in Evidence tt Student* Celebrate Holiday
Voyage
The Victoria trip was one howling
success. Its only drawbacks were
that it should have been longer, and
the days In its compass should have
contained thlrty-slx hours Instead ot
twenty-four. However, everyone man-
aged to paint the town red In spite
of these hindrances, and all arrived
home Sunday night perfectly happy.
The trip over was thoroughly enjoyed. ( The boat didn't try to do the
Charleston, and the more sprltely of
the company played 'Ring around a
Bosie" on the top deck, or Indulged
In a little hop to the tuneful strains
of Ail Stevenson's orchestra. The
Wharf at Victoria looked as if the
whole town had turned out to see
what peculiar specimens were arriving, and It may be Bald without pre-
Jtioloe, that they did not seem disappointed. The rest of the afternoon
was spent at the swimming match
and vlewing-fhe aristocratic streets
of Victoria,
The dance at the "Empress" was
Ullvett on Friday night and everybody
wae there. The four hours ot danoing
from Bine to one passed very quickly,
with a peppy orchestra and a jolly
crowd. For those who had not before
visited the hotel, the beauties of the
"Empress" formed one of the chief
enjoyments of the evening.
Saturday was one grand mixture of
. games and sightseeing. The Varsity
had a goodly number of rooters at all
the games, and some splendid exhibitions of vocal skill were given, but
the palm of victory went to the skyrocket for "Pants," which received
tremendous applause, But the weather was about thirty below by the feel,
and everyone was glad to get Inside
for the games Saturday night.
After the basketball, a peppy little
dance was staged in the gym, with
Alleged Report
of Soccer Game
(Editor's note: This Sport's Writer
was followed hy the sea gulls from
Victoria and must be excused it! ho
has nilxod some of his terms.)
After the Fresh dance on New
Year's night Varsity pig skin chasers
rested their ears at Willow's Park
in time to emerge on the long end
of a three to one count, Victoria Veterans took the short end.
The snappy, scrappy, happy "rah
rah" boys ran their opponents bow-
legged in both spasms, but several
complained of knocked-knees after
the game. Referee Van Winkle had
to Stoke his engines in order to keep
up to the play and Incurred the Ire
of many Victoria round ball supporters who claimed that he should have
been wearing a blue and gold sweater.
The game was exceptionally clean
and dry throughout, there only being
several players who got soaked with
anything but an occasional high ball.
Tommy Wilkinson received a kick
in the middle of the second stanza
but the Iron constitution of hla Student Body stood him in good stead
and he needed no amendments to put
himself In order again.
Fred., a new coming player on the
team, made the splinters fly, heading
the cross bar after receiving a klok
from behind from Ed. Crates' boot
The opposing net minder was beaten
to a frasale. Previous to this, many
veteran sharpshooters had torn In on
the Varsity goal area, making many
"bull rushes" and "Musis' was
caught once sleeping between the
bed posts. But that astute net minder more than made up tor that lone
error by making many seemingly
impossible saves later on In the
fracas.
the Varsity orchestra on the job. This
seems to be an appropriate place to
report that the students received a
great many compliments from Victoria friends on having such a splendid orchestra In their midst. At any
rate, its members were responsible
for helping to provide a solid hour
and a half of concentrated good time
for all. The climax came when everybody found out that the street
cars stopped running at 11,45, in harmony with the traditions of Victoria,
and a nice long walk added spice to
Sunday's breakfast (or Saturday's
midnight lunch, slightly delayed).
Tempus certainly "fuglted," and
19.15 pm. Sunday came all too quickly,
The time of the return trip was filled
up with sing-songs in which a couple
of freshettes ot the class of '40 took
a prominent part. Then the lights of
home showed up about 7.16, and Judging from the remarks It seemed as if
everybody wished the Victoria trip
would last forever.	
After "Sheik," Fred. Newcombe
had bulged the rigging for the tiehig
goal he later raised the ante when he
grabbed the pill in mid-Held and lost
no time in making for goal. "Clb."
sagged the hemp with a well placed
shot that made the Victorian goalie
feel about aa neoessary as a life pre-
sess-Of 4n- a loreBt fire. The score
stood at 2—1 at the interval.
After the lemons the Veterans
came back strong and only, stellar
defence tactics on the part of the
Varsity backs and their own lack ot
shooting ability kept them from registering on many occasions. The arbiter again came Into tho limelight
when he penalized I. Tripp, a Veteran
sharpshooter for tripping Gibbered.
The referee satisfied Charlie by giving him a free kick in tho secoud
half but the crowd booed the referee
vociferously and several offered fo
show him the way homo. One of the
supporters threatened to hit the arbiter at the end of the canto shortly
after Butler had socked the sphere
into the rigging for the third goal.
Although Varsity had the edge, the
Veterans worn by no means out-classed, and came into the picture in both
frames. Varsity's attack weakened
after the llrst spa»-;m but their soc-
ceritos contented themselves with
resorting to defensive tactics In the
second period, Mosher running out
and hitting one of the Veteran vanguard In the middle of the fracas
near his goal and, Incidentally loosened a couple of his lower Incisors.
The strength of a soccer team as
well as a rugby squad and fussers
depends greatly on the line. And
the blue and gold pigskin chasers
have to thank their ARTful MER-
CERnary linesman for his good work,
Auother man whom the soccer men
have to thank for standing where
they are now is their secretary-treasurer. It takes a strong GALE to
STANd the expenses of football, but
the writer found that there was no
truth In that old Baying that "It's a
'Poor Oale' that blows nobody any
good" because as Gale explained the
funds were low, nnd that spoilt all
the fun for the writer, who could not
get in on a stateroom, and both he
and his companion were nearly blown
off the deck, all becuuso ot another
darned Gale. One soccerlte lost the
deck completely, but as tho Joker
was wild ho found her and went on
playing,
First-year studonts are reminded that the regulations
requiring the wearing of green
ribbons did not eease with the
old year, but will continue In
foroe throughout the seoond
term.
Students Present
Gold Watch to
"Bill" Tamley
During the examinations, a collec-
Hon was taken up among the students
In order to buy a Christmas gift for
"Blir* Taneley.
For the benefit of those who are In
doubt as to who "Bill" Tansley Is,
let It be stated that he is the day
janitor in the Library, and may be
seen any afternoon mopping the main
hall of that building. He IS well
known to the majority of the students,
a great many, however, especially
among the freshmen, know him only
as "Bill," as'he Is always called. He
has been with the University since
September, 1010, which is longer than
any other janitor. The students give
him a present every year,
Student collectors this year purchased a Hamilton watch in a handsome gold case, and had a suitable
inscription put on it. At noon on
Tuesday, December 15th, the watch
was presented to Mr- Tansley In the
north-west wing of the Library, before a small gathering of students.
In replying to the presentation
speech, "Bill" thanked tho students
for their kindness, and assured them
he would treasure the watch with
great care as long as he lived. After
this, Tommy Berto led the assembly
In a hearty "Skyrocket" for "Bill."
(Which Is the first, and probably the
last time a yell has been conducted
In the sacred precincts of the Library.)
In an Interview after the presentation, "BUI" Tansley said he intended
to wear the watch at his work as
there is no use in having a good
watch unless tfhe uses it, and that he
would be pleased to show it to any
who are Interested In seeing it.
SPRING HAS CAME 11!
Word has Just been received from
California of the marriage of Lucy
Ingram to Lome T. Morgan, both
being of Arts '24. Miss Ingram was
well known In Varsity circles as the
runner-up for the Governor-General's
gold medal and as a prominent member of the editorial staff of Publications Board. Mr. Morgan took first-
class honors In economics and history, and represented Varsity successfully for three hiiccohhIvo years
in international debates. Tho wedding took place at the Church of St.
Mnrv   the   Virgin,   on   December   28,
The date of the Arts '28 class party
has been fixed for Friday, February
12th. A "Pep meeting" will probably
be given by the class on the same
date.
FIRST INTERNATIONAL DEBATE
OF COLLEGE YEAR TO-NIGHT
U. B. C. Co-eds Meet Puget
Keen Debate
Sound at Hone and Away.
Anticipated
The most important ovent for the
opening of the college term will take
place on Wednesday evening, at
8:15 o'clock in the Auditorium, when
the first Women's inter-colleglate debate will take place between U.BO,
and the University of Puget Sound, It
will be a dual struggle. Miss Helen
Dobie and Miss Jean Graham left
last night to match their wits against
a team at Puget Sound College lu
Tacoma, while Mlso' Kathleen Baird
and Miss Jean Tolmie will speak at
home.
The topic of the debate: "Resolved,
that international debts should be
reduced," Is one which Is rather difficult to debate and should bring
forth some original and clever arguments on both aides. The U. B. C.
away team will support the negative
side of the argument, while tht
home team will uphold the affirmative.
The team going away le composed
of two seniors, and the home team
of two sophomores. ( Miss Helen
Doble of the senior team debated
successfully against a Junior team
last term, and Miss Jean Graham
took part in the oratorical contest
last year. She has also debated out*
side college in the past.
, The team which will meet the visitors this evening Is composed of
Miss Kathleen Baird and Miss Jean
Tolmie, each well known In University debating circles. Miss Baird
was the winner of the oratorical contest last year and has boen twice on
the winning team of inter-class debates. This, however, Is her first
international debate and because of
her past successes, great thlnfs aro
expected of her,
Miss Joan Tolmie debated for U.
B. C. against a visiting team from
Corvallis last year with splendid success. Last year, too, on a team with
Miss Baird she was a winner In an
inter-clnss debuto. Miss Tolmie presents logical arguments lu u clear,
concise munnor, and together with
Miss Ilalnl she should be able to
carry the argument.
The visiting team Is composed of
Miss Marvel Vtiudel and Miss Mildred Huwkswortlty of Puget Sound
College, Tucoinu, Washington. Although up to the time this went to
press no Information concerning the
records of these two speakers had arrived, thoy themselves were expected to reach Vancouver lust evening
and tonight they will meet our sophomores in the battle of words.
The debate promises to be one of
ak
That Run-Down Feeling —
the most interesting of tha year, MA'
as it is probably the only women'*   ,
International debate which will tali'Hf
place this term, a record attendance
Ib oxpeoted,     A U. B, C, team 111
never met a Puget Bound team la i
other event than the American f
ball game last term, and tt la
oerely hoped that the result of
present contest will not be quite
disasteroue, . '
The hall where the V. B. C. girl*
are debating at Tacoma will probably
be packed by the friends ot thew opponents. It Is hoped that an en*
thujMStlo crowd of students will be,,
on hand to support the efforts of Mii||
Baird and Miss Tolmie thle evenli
TEAM EASILY
TRIUMPHS
Varsity's   MoKechnle   Cup   rU
team showed on Saturday that
are still to be reckoned with #1
they defeated Vlotoiia 1&—«,     li
Sentally they won their second
leobiile fixture of the season. t,
As a curtain raiser the InteiTrield*
iates played a 3-*-8 draw with yi§>
torla College, Helmed making Varsity's try.
The field was fast, the kind Oft
which Varsity always shows to ad*
vantage. The U. B. C, boys, moreover, were in superman condition
and worked tirelessly.
Victoria started off well and press-
ed for a large part of the first half,
They outweighed Varsity in the
scrum and their forwards dribbled
well. Goodacre put Victoria ahead
in a short time with a good twenty-
five-yard drop as a rosult of Off side
against Varsity. Johnny McLean,
however, the Varsity skipper, showed a return to his old time form when
he went across to tie up the score.
Casselman gave hla team a two point
lead with the convert. Price ended
the scoring for the period, when, following Casselman's opening, he went
over near the flag. The try was unconverted.
After the lemons, the IT. B. C. boys'
superior condition became evident.
Time and again the Varsity three-
quarters went awry on long runs
which Victoria found difficult to atop,
Bert Tupper made two tries in succession to increase the score, both
of which Casey failed to convert.
The final score came from Eaton.
This Individual, who had been play*
ing a splendid offensive and defen*
sive game at wing three-quarter,
fought his way through the 'centre
of the opposition, going over near the
posts.   Casselman added the convert.
Victoria time and again tried to
stop the Varsity team. They war*
able to add to their score with three)
points on a free kick, taken by Good*
acre. Although they kept up quite
an offensive near the end, they could
not Increase the score which ended
19—6. For Victoria, Bendrodt, Mo*
Mlllan. Goodacre and Pendray show*
ed up well. For Varsity, Seed, Willis,
Eaton, McLean and Casselman were)
outstanding.
The Teams:
U.  B.  C—Abernethy,  Eaton, Willis,
Casselman,   Kelly,   Tupper,   Shaw,
McLean,   Whyte,   Davidson,   Seed,
Sparks, Brock, Bain, and Prioe.
victoria   —   Frampton,    Putmaa,
Dunn,  Johns,  McMillan, Bendrodt,
Beech,   Goodacre,    Miller,    Smith,
Pendray, Kirk, Malnguy, Colpman,
and McRae.
i
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DEBATE TO-NIGHT—AUDITORIUM, 8:15 ■|||PM^^^^^^Rr^^^?^^^pW!P^"^P,^,fP
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THE   UBYSSEY
January 6th, 1926
Sbr HbtjaHnj
(Member ot Paolflo Inter-Collegiate Press Association).
, Issued every Tuesday and Friday by tho Student Publications Board of the
University ot British Columbia, West Point Orey.
Phone: Varsity 1434
Matl Subscriptions rate: $8. per year.   Advertising rates on application.
Editorial 8taff
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF—A. Earlr Slrne".
Senior Editors—Miss Sadie Boyles and W. Murphy.
Aasoclate Editors—Miss Wanetta Leach, D. Warden, Miss Marlon Smith and
Don Calvert.
Feature Editor—Eric Dunn a
Assistant Editors—Miss Jean Tolmie, Florence Cassidy
Chief Reporter—Francis Stevens.
Proofs—Miss Mary Esler, Miss Dorothy Arkwrlght
Sport Editors—Dave Taylor and Miss Doris McKay.
i Exchange Editor—John Grace
Cartoonist—Oeorge Thompson. •
, Literary Editor—Darcy Marsh.
Business Staff
Business Manager—Harold G. McWtlllams.
Advertising Manager—J. Stanley Alien.
Circulation Manager—Digby Leigh
Business Assistants—Lyle Streight and T. Barnett.
Reportorlal Staff
Feature—Ted Morrison and Oeorge Vincent
famiojr—Q. Aitvwortb., Kay Baird, T, Byrne, Jean Fraaer and Alice Weaver
Regular—0. Brown, M. Cameron, Florence Cassidy, May Obristlson,
. Doris Grompton, 0. Davidson, E. H. Ewert, H. Qartsbore,
Mary George, L. Graham, H. Grantham, Winifred Hall,
LMlao Hodglns, A Madeley, J. B. McLean, Jessie Menale,
P. Murphy, D. Palmer, F. C, PUklngton, 0. L. Phillips,
0. Stevens, K. Stewart, R. Tolmie and Ruth Ware.
tdltore-for-the-leeuei
Senior, W. Murphy; AsBletant, Florence* Cassidy.
wstmmsBtestamsxssssxssttsssssatssessss
I; ■    ' OUR VICTORIA RBOORD
f'      Once more V, B. C. adventurers havo invaded our dormant
r|' eapital, tramped its echoing streets, and returned, fagged, happy,
*' and with proud memories of victory.  For despite the lower total of
event* won, Varsity sportsmen have every reason to feel that, as on
.,* raevious years, they came off top dog.   The teams participating in
*■•' what Varsity considers her major sports all won their games deeis-
.^'ilrtljr. Our McKechnie Oup men were going great guns, the "threes"
$■ placing one of the slickest games of the season.   In soccer, our first
U mvwlon men defeated a team with a reputation, and our Senior A
^I'BseketnaU men treated an equally worthy squad of players to a like
defeat.
Perhaps, however, the record of which we should be most proud
p.'ia that achieved by players and rooters alike.   To remain peaoeful
m    While gueBts of Victoria may seem a small thing, until ono remembers
that there were at least two hundred and fifty youths and maidens
on the trip, and that they strayed over a strange city for three days
during the holiday season.   And they were "collegiates" at that!
Despite these obvious temptations the management of the Dominion Hotel complimented student leaders on the orderliness of the
^    Varsity men, and doubtless, similar eulogies could have been obtained
f     for the women If any had deemed it necessary so to search.   We
feope that as the attendance at Victoria trips increases from year to
year, the record re-established this time will not thereby dimmish.
B
I
i
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y
FRESHMAN OPPORTUNITY
This year there have been comparatively few students expelled
from University as a result of their Christmas marks. Whether this
Is the result of the Point Grey atmosphere, or whether the standard
of scholarship has risen, cannot really be said. All that can be stated
is that mysterious, indeed, has been the change whereby so few have
felt the power of the Faculty, usually exercised with such drastic
effects.
It is understood that a new policy has been adopted this year by
the -Senate in dealing with the Freshman class. Those only have
been <j.r.pellt;d who, repeating their year, failed, to make the requisite
Standing Those who, making their lirst attempt, have failed, have
not been excluded from lectures.
There is here, of course, an opportunity which the Freshman
class must not throw away. The Faculty are trying this scheme
merely as an experiment, and will revert to the old "rod of iron"
method should this prove inadequate. If the delinquent, members
of first year can seize an opportunity, the new policy, having proved
successful, will probably be adopted; if they fail to benefit from
the reprieve, both themselves and future classes will suffer.
;.l
IMPORTANT NOTICE
Attention, graduating students and secretaries of undergraduate
societies! This year we want the Annual to be out at least a week
before exams—and the sooner the write-ups are handed in, the sooner
We'll have the book. Do your write-ups now, and get it over! By
the end of this week, lists of the graduating classes will be posted
on the notice boards, and secretaries of the different clubs can be
guided in the length of their write-ups by last year's Annual. Individual write-ups should be not more than eighty words in length, or
less than sixty. For further information, see Wanetta Leach, Arts
'36, or leave a note in the Publication Office.
Another thing—hurry up and get all the pictures taken!
Data Available for
Grad. Courses in Britain
A prospectus setting forth a number of post-graduation courses and
apeclallst studies offered by the Universities and University Colleges of
Great Britain and Ireland has been
received at the Registrar's Office antl
Is available to any of the students
who may be Interested. All particulars are glveu In regard to a wide
range of studies antl In addition a
special section is devoted to subjects
to which exceptional attention la
given In certain Universities of the
United Kingdom.
President Klinck to
Speak at Service
"The Religion of the Campus'' will
be the subject of an address to be
given by President Kllnck at a monthly young people's service in Crosby
United Church. Second and Larch, at
7.30 p.m., Sunday, January 10th. The
Rev. Hamilton, pastor of the church,
has Issued a special invitation to all
students to attend the service, which
should prove more than unusually Interesting to University men and women.
Varsity Orators
Score Victory
The Men's Lit., "Varsity" team
added five points to Its standing Monday evening when they defeated the
Y.M.C.A. by a unanimous decision.
In several respects the debate was
unique. First, It was not until 3 p.m.
that the team was chosen- Second,
the three Varsity speakers wandered
all over the lot and Introduced nothing but extraneous material, such as
their text-books. Thirdly, Varsity
used more technicalities, and more
sheer hot air than a local team has
ever used, That any team should
have the crust to run the risk of putting up such a cheap bluff, as to Invent a wholly fictitious history of the
evolution of the human family, base
their case on It and get away with
it, Is a surprise to anybody. The subject was: "Resolved, that the Invasion during the laBt quarter of a century, by women of men's spheres of
activity Is detrimental to the t well-
being of the State."
The team:   Kobe, Craig, Dunn.
The win puts Varsity into a tie for
first plaoe In the legaue standing.
Next debate, Monday, January 11th.
Liberals at Varsity.
He likes exams, and he likes best
(This asinine subjective pest);
Those fifty questions in a row,
Answers to which he doesn't know.
He doesn't know, and that is why
He sends us hie complaining cry;
We know he guessed the "yes" us
"no"—
In consequence, his marks are low.
The secret Is that he was told
That Nelson City, high and cold
Of Okanagan was chief town,
And "yes" he boldly entered down.
Though rather weired I like these
16 tit 8'
They trip up all subjective pests.
To answer them is not E-Z,
Though we attend the U. B. C.
—   D. F.
SCHOLARSHIP STUDENTS
WILL PLEASE NOTICE
A notice has been Issued requesting
the holders of scholarships to call at
the Registrar's office without delay to
get their scholarship cards. The practice indulged in by several of the
scholarship students, of being tardy
with their cards causes a great deal
of Inconvenience to other students,
and the Registrar requests that the
offenders observe decent consideration In this matter.
Information is now in the hands of
the Registrar regarding exhibition
scholarships at Trinity College, Cambridge. These are open to graduate
students In the British colonies, and
are tenable for two or three yeurs.
Their value is   £S0 per annum.
Ttier" is also a research scholarship at the same ei>lleKe to the value
Of    ,C2l''0.
At Spencer's
JANUARY
SALES
OF
MEN'S
CLOTHING
Are in Progress
The values offered
make it well worth
your while to investigate.
See Daily Province
for detaila.
David Spencer
LIMITED
of
^riitslj Columbia
Information to Students
F E E1S
SECOND TERM FEES
ARE NOW DUE
The Last Day of payment being January
18th, 1926
After this date an additional fee of $2.00
will! be exacted of all students in default.
TO AVOID CONGESTION
Students are requested not to leave payment of fees until the last day.
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,, '/afiif *,*:wn'"r;'ri VXfjrc" '*• •!," ""WftJ" 'v,5llR|W^f" f^WP.'CTlp'S
January 6th, 1926
THE   UBYSSEY
THING/I AFTtR,a   ANOTHER.
'mlMili  *«< •,•«
('
Demon-'
"What did ProfsMor Smith mesa
thl* iMiralni whan be told you
that no m«n could «"«r malts s
•ilk purse out of a sours aarr
Pythias—
"H« rnaant that Pd never be able
to do food work with a poor mncll.
Oums I'll have to set a Dixon's
Ildorodo. Old Smlty mn It's the
beet drawing pweil made."
e^lkteiSsW^aWsif*^
in
m
The University
Book Store
Open from O18O a. m. to 12 noon.
1 p. m. to 4 p. m.
Saturdays, 9)30 a. m. to IS noon,
Leest-Ltaf Mite Books,
Exercise Books aad Borlbblers
At Reduced Prloss
Alia, Graphic end Engineering Paper*
Biology Paper, leoee-Leaf Refills
Fountala Pan Ink
Peaeila aad Drawing Instruments
ALL YOUR BOON SUPPUtS Sold Here
Beat Productions direct from
New York at the
Strand Theatre
1    W
Excellent features and artists
that can be teen or heard
nowhere else in Vancouver.
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Cabaret Belmont
DANCING and ENTERTAINMENT
Granville and  Nelson Streets
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- FOR -
YOUR DRUG WANTS
Magasines, Stationery, Films,
Chocolates, etc.
PROMPT DEUVERY
Lamey's Drug Store
Cor. Broadway & Alma
Mu* Ualvartity atudanU hart, found,
meat are mew finding, that • IraJalng in
erne of ta« many courtaa )■ tha
PROTT
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CHOOLS
op —
00MMER0C and TELEGRAPHY
It RIAUY WORTH WHILL
Wo stand rsady to assist all who need
assistance.
Our Secretarial Course Is one whloh
appeals to University students.
If iaterested, give us a oall at any of
our THREE BRANCNE8;
930 HASTINGS ST., w.  - j |^;7ISjJ
TOWER BUILDING
MAIN end TENTH -
Say. 74SI
rati-. 41
FAMOUS GASTON
REPORTED SLAIN
Xerxea McGoogle Telia of
Fracas Following Necking
Leaaon
There have been so many rumors
as to why It was that the paper did
not get out until Wednesduy this
week, that I feel it Incumbent upon
me to relate the truth about Monday's slaying. At 3 o'clock prompt
a beautiful young lady knocked on
the door. "Xerxes," Bald the beautiful young lady, entering the Office.
"Will you help a damsel In distress 7"
"Meaning who?," I . replied fairly
courteously. "Me." "You should say
'!,' "I corrected her, from out of the
depths ot my pedagogical knowledge,
"but who are you, anyway?" "I,
she said, "am Ivamay, the, Littlest
Editor's littler sister, and I want
your advice. As you know, all of the
Petters' Club executive graduated
this Christmas, and, you see, D. Arc-
light, the acting deputy-secretary,
has called tor nominations tor president. I'm running, and so is my Bister. Now, she's fairly popular, so if
I'm going to win at all, it'll Just be
by a neck. Now I don't know very
much about petting, or lines, or that
sort of thing, and"
"Yes, I see," I Interjected, "but
what has that got to do with me?"
"Well, Xerxes," she said, In a voioe
like Edwardsburg Syrup, "you know
you are very popular with the women, they all love you, so you must
have the best technique. What 1
want you to do is to give me some
lessons. . , . you will, won't you?" sho
said, tickling me under the chin.
"Elsinore," I said, "would hardly
approve, but, In the Interests ot my
art, I am strongly Inclined to come
to your rescue. Besides, I have
every reason tor wanting to annoy
your sister. That's so, isn't It,
Brlff? I called to Brlff Clown, who
had just entered the office.
"Yes, XerxeB, that's true," said
Brlff, "that's real true. I want to
borrow two bits,—Where's your tame
author, old Gaston? Hello, Ivamay,
you're looking real beautiful today.
I always said you were real beautiful."
"You are just In time, Brlff, to hear
the first lesson of my course on 'The
Perfect Line.' It Is called No. 1,
'The Approach.' Now, Ivamay, the
approach Is Important In any love
affair. In fact, Freud, or Elinor
Glyn, I've foi'gotten which, classes*
it second only to the 'psychology of
the psychological moment.' There
are so many tilings to think of. 'How
are you to meet him?' 'What should
you wear?' 'What should yon say?'
'Have you halitosis?' The first three
are by far the most important, for
you may cure your halitosis, and still
remain unpopular, anyway. How are
you to meet him? There are several ways, which I will discuss later.
You can get on the same bus, and
discover you have forgotten your
tickets, you can get yourself accidentally thrown Into his arms from
tho revolving doors of the library;
there are hundreds of ways of doing
the dirty work. What are you to
wear? My advice to you is to wear
something plain. Look up tn the
Students' Council offices where his
address la, and wear a simple, plain
dress In the colors of his old high
school. Dr. Blgham, of the University of North Greenland, estimates
that 99Vd% of co-eds today wear unusual  dresses  to  attract  the sheiks.
Ci».ni.ai.a.ninna«»..aii>.ia»t«»mininini,a m »•* » Sj
Litany Coroner
OBJECTIVE TESTS
I like examB., but I like best,
Tho asinine objective tost,
Where fifty questions In a row
Expect the answer "yes" or "no"—
Do cows lay eggs, do babies squawk,
Do clouds perspire or catfish walk,
Have fleas got tails, do girls delight
In staying out all hours at night?
Is water wet, are measles mumps,
Is Blm the uncle of the Gumps-
Are tigers fierce, are women men?
And so on for a page again.
1 like these tests, I must admit,
They show one's knowledge, quite a
bit,
To answer them it's plain to me
That I attend the U. B. C.
—B. F.
Now, If you wear something plain,
It will be the unusual usual, which
is the most unusual thing there Is.
Next, what are you to say? There la
no doubt about that. Talk about
whatever activity is not marked on
his Student Council card. Nobody
ever tells the truth oh their cards,
so he will be interested in the activities he hasn't marked. Then flatter him. Anybody will swallow flattery, and you can't lay it on too
thick. There is no art in flattery.
Toll him he's handsome, clever, looks
strong, envy him tor the way every
girl chases him, for his position in
Varsity life, say you got a letter from
the Society of Science Men for the
Protection of Lonely freshettes, warning you against him. That'll fetch
hint, won't It, Brlff?"
"Yeh, Xerxes, that's good, that Is,
that's real good. I always said you
were a genlUB. By the way, where
Is Gaston?" "Oh," I replied, "he got
tired of waiting for Bice Clegg, and
took the littlest editor down to tea."
"What?" said Brlff, Jumping up
and rushing over to Ivamay. Without a word, he grabbed her foot, took
off her shoe, and started to sharpen
our paper knife on the sole thereof.
I looked at him in some interest.
'*T may take it then that Gaston will
be unable to help me on the paper
tills wggIc "
"Yeh, Xerxes, that's right, said
Briff, disappearing through the door,
"that's real right."
FRESHETTE
ANSWER COLUMN
Conducted by Dorothy Trix
Conducted by Dorothy Trix.
Send your troubles to Miss Trix,
care of The Ubyssey.   She'll fix 'em.
Green Band.—Yes, my dear, I quite
agree with you that Tommy Wilkinson Is a nice kind man. I'm sure If
you wrote him a letter he would be
delighted to advise and encourage you
in your studies. Yes, he can advise
you about seeds for your little garden,
I'm Bure.
Freshletta. — No, Darling, Louis
Smith is still single, and we are all
permitted to hope, aren't we? I can't
tell you what color his eyes are.
Arts 29.—I'm afraid you are a little
muddled, my child.    Bill Tansley is
| not president of the A.M.S. this year.
Amorous.—My dear, yours Is a very
sad case. In my yoUng days a girl
would never have dreamed of riding
in the motor bus alone with Mr. Led-
Ingham. I would advise you to con*
suit Mr. Gibbard for fatherly advice.
Timid.—No, dear, it is not compulsory to curtesy to senior women.
They were once girls themselves, you
know.
Sweet Seventeen.—Yes, dear, I'm
sure you are very pretty, but I'm
afraid I can't publish your photo In
this column. Probably some nice sophomore will walk with you to the
Aggie dance.
Vegetteriette.—Yes, the Aggies do
put on a tough chicken supper at their
dance, my dear, but none of them are
local girls.
Well, darlings, I am very happy and
pleased to be In a position to ease
the troubles of so many pretty little
heads, and I hope to have lots of
letters to answer next week. I hope
you will all treat me as a sister.
Yours with kisses,
DOROTHY TRIX.
*Jhe largest sellh
quality pencil
the yrotld
17
black
degrees
3
cop-,
Superlative in quality,
the world-famous
\/ENUS4
YFENCUS
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ive best service and
longest wear.
Plain enda, per dot.       S1.80
Rubber enda, per dot.   $ 1,70
cAt all dealeri
American Lead Pencil Co.
l       220 Fifth Ave., N.Y.
They Call Thia Humor
Flitting airily through the palace,
D'Artugnan trod heavily on the
corns of Athos. Turning to apologise .the bold young gent accidentally careened against Porthos. Immediately a glove from each of the
offended musketeers landed at his
feet.    Our hero picked  up the gloves.
"Hell,  two rights!"  he  grumbled.
(NOTE:—We  seem  to   have   left  out
Aramis.    We  are  sorry  about this.
We   suppose   we  could   work   up  a
funny   crack   about   Aramis'   glove
being the only one left, but we are
too proud.)
—Cornell Widow.
 .«,.   ..-..
"You brute!    Whore did  you kick
that dog?"
"Ah,    ma'am,   thereby   hangs   the
tall."
—Gargoyle.
THE PRESENT for
THE FUTURE
YOUR PHOTOGRAPH
FOR CHRISTMAS ^%
.un**'
$>**
if
STUDIOS
413 GRANVILLE ST.
tt*HM|4iJfg
We Bow
"I love to see a man smoke a pipe,"
—Billle Burke, In an advertisement.
Which instance of unsophisticated
appreciation rather prepares us, In a
way, to expect the following:
"I love to see a man blow out his
cheeks while shaving."—Sadie Boyles
"I love to see a man start a furnace
Are."—Dorothy Brown.
"I love to see a man saw down a
big tree."— Mills Allhan.
eShewSaw^eTi*n*)*aa>t
"I say, Harvey, we're two days
overdue.—Why do you suppose
we'ven't sighted land?"
"Cawn't imagine, Adolf, old mariner, except possibly that ever since
the compass fell overboard I've been
steering  hy  the bully  barometer."
—Record.
••«*^i>.t.'»'
JUST A  SLIP OF  A  GIRL
A banana peel,
A Dash of hose,
A little squeal,
And down she goes.
—Black and Blue Jay.
BOOKS
ALL KINDS
Half Price and Less
LANG'S
1184 Granville Street
Phone, Seymour 1013
=s=y
A SUCCESSFUL
NEW YEAR 1
Every year brings with it a
democracy and   quality of
opportunity to be intellectually  and  spiritually  apprehended and applied to the
facts of life.
"Science ha& not only
created our civilization,
it has given to it the
finest art and the truest
faith."
We Also Serve
by giving the best value
in those things you need,
which we can supply.
Fountain Pens
All standard makes.
Repair department to meet
all emergencies.
GEHRKE'S
566 SEYMOUR ST.
"gjiv.   \jg)ggjssaagsFSBssss
*m
-a-a-nBaa
wsxosemm
Church's Famous I
English Shoes
Are Exceptional !■ Quality,
Style and WorkfaaatUp
Ingledew Shoe Co.
823 GRANVILLE STREET
EXCLUSIVE AQENT8
■■iiiiriTiaT't1 iiiiin i'i'i i paemtsameeasvaBBssssaism
a**
Sporting Goods Sale
Everything siorlflosd-yaar
opportunity to buy Spatting
Equipment CHEAP.
George Sparling
SUCCESSOR TO
McGill-Sparlitif Ltd.
Say. 4843     718 ROBSON IT.
a-sTa-aSSSaTSBBBBSIS
Overcoat Sale
Every Overcoat In the stare la on Sale, In*
oludlng our best English makes. In ell the
latest models. At reductions of from 20%
to 50%.   A Real Opportunity.
Come in and Look Them Over
TURPIN BROS., LTD.
Men's Outfitters
629 GRANVILLE ST.
DOMINION MARKET
Jackson Bros., Ltd.
HIOHSST ORABB
MEAT. FISH, POULTRY
Phone, lay. lilt
4th heme* West, *t Yew tt
BBS). W. JAeBSBH,
i i a I im»
Evans & Hastings
•!«     PIONfIR    •:•     •:•
■ITTtW QUALITY WINTERS
Prioe* Right
a   14-Vila*   tWMUM'lll   •l*«INIM   MMII
IN   VANCOUVM   MOVl«   CONCLUIItrlVV
TMAf W( Ail -m*«» MOM tm*
OTHtM If tMI taaCTIM Millie
WM«tt   THIT  MUM Tlllll
MOM I HI WORTH.
Wt mafea a ipeelally ej
Megsilnei, Anneals,
Oaaea Programmes, Legal Feraw
and
Rostral CommoroloJ Prtaftaf
See a* before ordering elsewhere.
Mane, Sey. 188     878 Seymour St THE   UBYSSEY
January 6th, 1926
FRASER VALLEY DAIRY
MILK, CREAMO and ICE CREAM
ARE ON SALE AT
—YOUR GRILL—
NOTE.-A PRIZE WINNING COMPETITION t
SAVE ALL PICTURE CARDS
you find in Chocolate Ice Cream Glacier Bart and
Ice Cream Bricks.
FIRST PRIZE
A Week's Cruise for Two People, including Berths
and Meals, on the Union Steamship Co's
T.SS. "Cardena."
Save
Many Other Good Prises —
_    .       . „      _   Save
PRe^CERS^ASSOCJATiON
ePL Grey Pharmacy
H. XV. Warner, Druggist
Your Patronage Appreciated
Phone, Point Gray ISO
XOth Avenue and Trimble Street
sag
tarsity Lunches -
—•— AT THB —-
•A8AMAT 1LICTRIC BAKERY
Near'Bus Terminal
Phone, Foist Orey 807
HIGHEST GRADE
MEATS
FRESH DAILY
Your Patronage  Solicited
POINT GREY
MEAT MARKET
Phone, Point Orey J4
^
UNIVERSITY TAXI CO.
TAXI AT CITY RATES
BUSES FOR PARTIES
CARTAGE AND EXPRESS
PHONES: PT. GREY 285-R and 138
-^
13. C E. R.
WAITING ROOM
And Ticket Office
CANDIES, CIGARETTES,
SOFT DRINKS,
GLACIER BARS, Etc.
ON SALE HERE
ALL FRESH STOCK
For Your Convenience
Leader Beauty Parlor
4447 Tenth Avenue, West
Phone, Point Grey 616
HAIR CUTTING and MARCELING
Swimmers Plan Big
Gala Wednesday Next
The University Swimming Club lies
a lull programme for this term. All
members are reminded that the first
gala takes place on Wednesday, January 13th, at Chalmers tank against
the Maraloma Swimming Club. Everybody Is requested to be out at the
training hour under Mr. Cox this
week, as he will choose the team the
following Wednesday.
The semi-annual meeting of the
club will be held on Friday, January
8th, at 12 o'clock, in room A106. A
full attendance Is requested, as very
important business is to be discussed.
Announcements regarding life-saving,
polo, etc., will be glveu at this meeting.
Tickets for the first ot our league
meets will be on sale Tuesday. It
would be wise to get one early, for
accommodation at the tanks is not
very great.
All members of the teams should
turn out every possible hour to train
for this meet, because there la only
one week before the event. The club
feels certain that they will "put this
gala over strong," and they request
the co-operation of all those interested.
Kamloops Hoop-Hop
Proves Keen Affair
Following the basketball game between the University of British Columbia and Kamloops on Saturday,
Iieeemher 2t!th, time was taken to
sprinkle liulch Cleanser mi the floor
ol' the Normal School gymnasium.
Then followed n pleasant informal
datiee in honor of the visiting t'alll'oi-
nian Olympic team, and the Kamloops
basketball squad. Shortly after its
commencement, It wns announced
that the dances would be on the "cut
In" system, which added to the spirit
of the occasion.
The music for the dance was rendered by an orchestra (or band?) consisting of Dick Lucas, Art Stevenson,
Fred  Saunders,  and  Frayne  Gordon.
The women's Senior "A" basketball
team, who were In charge of the
dance, are to be congratulated on the
successful way in which they conducted the affair.
 »*.	
STUDIO  CLUB
The Studio Club will meet on Wednesday, January 6th, at the home of
Mr.   Larson,   27th  Avenue  W.,  at  8
o'clock.
■M4t»»»»»'l'»H»»»»*<'H'l''l'n'l'»'»»v»-l'»»HHHtH
ANATOMICAL BOOTMAKING and REPAIRING  ;:
4388 TENTH  AVENUE, WEST V,
<>
«►
• >
<i
OKUBHS CALLKD KOR   AND DRLIVBNRU ))
4*M»|h|>4****>++*M-^*«M-*M-*»>**^
PHONK:  POINT OKBY 604
T. WIGGLESWORTH
THE   AMBASSADOR
610 Seymour Street
  Headquarters fer Service	
Club Luncheons, Dinners and Banquets
Private Dining Rooms for Private Parties.
Suitable for Meetings and Sooial*. Fraternity Banquets a Specialty.
LUNCHEON, Served Daily, 45c.
MUSIC andDANCING TCKr.TC.,,.
SEVEN CONTESTS WON
BY VICTORIA LAST WEEK
Varsity Teams do well, but lose majority of Garnet—Senior
Games Won
Varsity ulhletes failed to complete
the conquest of Victoria over the
week end and dropped seven of the
fourteen conflicts, They annexed five
encounters and made It all square on
two. Tho major contests In rugby,
soccer, and men's basketball went to
the wearers of the Blue and- Gold.
Victoria stepped Into the win column
first when they romped home 62-36
ahead of the Varsity aquatic stars
In a dual meet. Varsity annexed four
firsts, two seconds, and tour thirds
of then ten events. Miss Munroe just
managed to nose out Miss Orlffln of
Victoria In the plunge by four Inches,
winning at 40 feet 8 Inches. Miss
Kidd came third for Varsity. "Tike"
Abernethy showed real class in the
60-yard free style when he beat Greenwood of Victoria handily in 27 3-6's.
Miss Green gave a finished display of
fancy spring-board diving to beat
Miss Ligertwood of the Victoria team.
Fred Newcombe was second in the
plunge. Miss Green and Miss Carter
took second and third in 50-yard free
style event for women. Doug. Bell
took third In the 100-yard free style.
Reg. Wilson backstroked his way to
victory In fine style over Peden of
Victoria In 60 yards—35< seconds. Dalton took third in the men's dive and
King third In the men's backstroke.
Varsity lost both men's and women's
relays lo Victoria. Varsity broke even
in the basketball games winning and
losing three games. The morning
clashes resulted in two losses and a
win for Varsity and two wins and a
loss In the evening encounters. BUI
Gray and Ersl Gibson deserve meu-
tlon as both boys played stellar
games In four contests. Bill Gray
played In great form In all four
basketball games and showed up at
the best In the Senior A game. Gibson played ice hockey arid three basketball games and starred hi the
Senior B gome.
The Intermediate A's downed Christ
Church 32-24 in the morning. Varsity
players: McLean, Gray, Stewart, Gibson, Mottley, Munroe.
Intermediate B's found Y.M.C.A. too
rugged and they had to be content
with the short end of a 32-23 count.
Gray with 11 points and Stewart
with 8 points were high scorers;
Jackson of Victoria got 11 points.
Victoria College co-eds trounced
their mainland sisters 14-X In a Senior
M game. Miss Allan, Musgrave, Limit in.v und Whit taker got a basket each
to miike up Varsity's score. Miss (lib-
son was high scorer for Victoria with
s counters.
Varsity men's Senior B team whitewashed Victoria College 55-17. Gibson and Gray gathered In IS points
in a regular shooting bee. It was
so one-sided It was painful to watch.
Fidelia proved too shifty for Varsity Senior A girls and managed to
shove over a 11-5 win. The Varsity
girls tried hard but sudden breakaways of the crimson spuad gave Miss
Crawford   '/  points  and   Miss  Slavln
Point Grey 134      We Deliver
Woolner's Grocery
Tenth and Trimble
rill UNE Of GROCERIES
AND PROVISIONS
Service
Quality
BUCK'S DRY GOODS
Men's Wear
KANT KREASE COLLAR
I FOR A DOLLAR
Tate, Kipp, Varsity,
)i *\r.e%.    13Ji to l»)l
!0th AT TRIMBLE
Phone, Point Grey 884
4 points. Miss Shorney got 2 points
and Miss Musgrave 3,
The men's Senior A game was the
feature game of Saturday evening.
Practically all (he Varsity players had
played one or moro games during tho
tlay but that did not prevent them
from piling up a 34-15 win over the
Victoria First Presbyterians. The first
half was fairly even but Varsity came
back In the second half to pile up an
easy win.
The Varsity lineup was: Wilkinson
(7), Butler (11), A. Hendson (8), Grey
(4), Nesbltt (2), Newcombe (2), (Injured early In first half); Gibson, Turpin, King, Gordon, Hartley.
Victoria: Whyte, Skillings (6),
Turpel (2), Forbes (8), Foubister (3),
Streeter, Webster (2), Hudson.
Varsity dropped their grass hookey
games, losing the men's game 11-5
to Victoria, and the women's, 3-0, to
Victoria College. Bunting starred In
the men's game for Varsity.
Varsity Ice hockey team were blanked by Victoria Ex-Hlgh's, 8-0.
The Varsity team was: Stanley, Gibson, Bell, MacNell, Farrls, Mathews,
Ross and Doberer.
Games of Varsity
Teams In Holidays
MoKeohnle Cup Rugby:
Varsity ll—Victorla 3
Varsity 17—Victoria 6
League Rugby:
Varsity  14—K.  E.  Old  Boys  13
U. B. C—B. C Athletics
Paolfio Coast League 8occer:
Varsity 2—St. Androws 3
Varsity 2—Cumberland 7
Varsity 3—Victoria Vets. 1
Seoond Division Soooer:
U. B. C. 0—Chinese 2
U. B. C. 0—Hotel Vancouver 3
U. B. C. 1—Nationals 4
Junior 8oooer:
Varsity 3—Ex. North Van. High 2
Varsity 3—Victoria Road 1
Varsity 0—St. Pauls 10   '
lee Hookey:
Varsity 1—Seaforths 4
Varsity 0—Ex. King George 5
Varsity 0—Ex. King George 6
Basketball, Senior A:
Varsity lost to King Ed. Old Boys
Varsity lost to Revelstoke
Kin Ed, Old Boys lost to Kamloops
Kamloops  won  from  Victoria
BADMINTON   AT   VICTORIA
The badminton  games  against  Victoria resulted  In a draw 12—12.
In the deciding match, that between Miss Creer and Miss Mllleuer
of the University of British Columbia and Mrs. Petts and Miss Porrlt
of Victoria, the Victoria ladles had
the University ladles 14—fi, but after
a sharp rally, the match ended 19—16
In favour of the University.
The University was represented
by Messrs. O. Woodman, O. Marrlon,
J. Shakespeare, while Victoria was
represented by Messrs. Cobbet,
Browne, Gordon, McCallum, Misses.
Porrlt, Miller, Campbell, and Mrs.
Petts.
TRADE
>ALDl|
MARK
CPALDINGS tske
this opportunity of
wishing their customers
at the University a Very
Hsppy snd Prosperous
New Yesr.
r:/j.io
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"lt\ Our Reputation"
SE
Royal Transfer Ltd.
Baggage Delivered
Furniture Removals
SEYMOUR - SIX
A Gift always appreciated--"-
Your Photograph.
McKenzie Studio
619 Granville St.
Phone, Sey. 3103
ft
High-class work at moderate price*
Don't Miss Our
JANUARY
Special Clearance Sale
The Shop Of   .   .
Thos. Foster & Co.. Ltd*
 ONE STORE ONLY —
608 GRANVILLE STREET
>»wwwwwwv

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