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The Ubyssey Mar 15, 1927

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Issued Twice Weekly by the Students' Publications Board of The University of British Columbia.
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Volume IX.
VANCOUVER, B. C, MARCH 15th, 1927
No. 34.
VARSITY SENIOR 'B' BEATEN IN
STRENUOUSLY FOUGHT GAME
The Varsity Senior Basketball team
Sit passed out ot the B. 0. Basket-
II playoffs, Saturday night, at the
Y.M.C.A,, SS—28, but they went out
wtth so muoh noise that the St.
Andrews Crusaders will have the ringing* tn their ears until the next full
moon. Starting out with six points
te make up ln Order te make the grade
in the final game tbe Varsity team
lOHred every evldenoe from the start-
gun that they were going to win
.... round when they piled up an
. |rly lend On tbe fine shooting of
■Mranson, Mclntyre and Buokley. The
personals fere being called thick and
flit by Referee Riley and the flrst
man to leave the floor was Doug. Mclntyre early in the flrst half with four
odonts before bis name. His absenoe
10 early in the game was a big loss to
the Varsity team, from tbe flrst the
Varsity team led, and at halt time the
soore stood 18—10. Ths flrst score
catte trom Molntyre when he dribbled
through the whole team aad scored
a neat basket from close in. Swanson
then made It 4—0 with a clean shot
from a difficult angle. From then on
the score stood with Varsity five
points to the advantage until just before the hall way mark when the fine
Students' Parliament
to Have Open Meeting
Wkiteley and Pilking ton
Remain as Leaders
AA open parliament will be the feature of Wednesday's meeting of the
Men's Literary Society, in Arts 100, at
8 p.m., when the usual Students'
Parliament will be suspended in order
to allow any member of the University to take part in the proceedings.
Membera of the Women's Literary
Sooiety are especially urged to attend.
All party organisation will be
dropped to meet with the large Influx
of new M.P.S.   Mr. Whltely, however,
Jill continue as Premier, and Mr.
. C. Pllkington as leader of the
Opposition.
The orders of the day will be modified so as to allow any visitor to
Introduce a bill or resolution for discussion. As debate is to be open, and
as there are ao many controversial
issues being discussed by the student
body, there is no doubt that the meeting will be ono of the liveliest, of the
year.
It Is desirable that students wishing
to bring up a bill or resolution should
get ln touch with the Speaker, Mr.
Lionel Lalng, as soon as possible.
Remember! Wednesday, Arts 100,
8 p.m.
ROWERS PREPARED
FOR WASHINGTON
The first VIII. has now taken up its
quarters at Seattle, where the final
Stages of their training will take
place. They will use one of the University of Americans. The crew's
own oars with the blue and gold
blades will be used for the race.
No changes have recently been made
in the crew and the men who will
represent the Canadian University are
as follows: K. Thurston (bow); 2. D.
Hartley, 3. L. Mallory, 4. W. McDonald, 6. R. Thorpe, 6. H. Lang, 7. T.
Towgood, A. Millar (stroke), P. Wain-
man (cox) (captain.)
These men have been rowing together since Christmas, and, under
tho guidance of "Bimbo" Sweeney and
Bill Bain, are In good form to meet
the Americans.
The crew who will oppose the local
VIII. ia the University of Washington's Freshman. Of the four hundred
first year men who have started rowing, the final picking has been limited
to about sixty men, each of whom la
fighting for a place on the crew who
will race on Saturday.
shooting of Williams brought them up
to within three points of Varsity.
In the next halt the personals came
thick and fast and Riley called 82 in
the second halt. This fact spoiled
what might have been a real fast
game. In this half Varsity lost
Straight and McConnacbie and the
Crusaders were forced to drop
Kennedy, Wills and Wood. Bill
Thompson, the Varsity captain, got
a big hand from the crowd when he
left the gamo late ln the second half
after the Crusaders could not replace
their third player to go off via the
personal route. Thus the two teams
fought the last five minutes with four
men each. During the second half
Varsity held the upper hand through
the brilliant shooting ot McHwan and
Swanson. These two men played
brilliant games throughout and they
deserved great credit tor the manner
ln which they played, due to the faot
that the game was rough and they
managed to play the ball all the time.
Laurie Buokley only scored 4 points
but he played a great defensive game
and scored 4 points, two in each half.
McEwan gathered 7 and Swanson 6.
Straight and McConnaohle held the
fast forwards of the Crusaders well
and scored besides.
The absence of Thompson from the
game due to injuries to his mouth
received in the first game probably
weakened the Varsity team, and only
for a few minutes was the senior B
captain seen in action.
The scores were:
VARSITY CRUSADERS
Thompson Williams 11
Mclntyre 8     Wood 3
Swanson 6    Wills 8
McEwan 7    Kennedy 2
Straight 2     Couveller 6
McConnaohle     1     McRae
Buckley 4     Mclntyre 3
Total 23 Total 26
Canoe Races to be
Staged by Rowers
Again this year there will be canoe
races with tho Rowing Regatta. Last
years' champions will defend their
titles. They are an follows: Singles,
Gordon Baker, Men's Doubles, Gordon
Baiter and Bob Hnger. Mixed doubles,
Mary Robertson and Mr. Denies. Very
Interesting feature.
To be run in conjunction with the
rowing regatta on March 2(5, and to
decide Vanslty champions  for   1927.
1. There will be a first prize for
each event.
2. There will be no race unless
there are three entries in those events
which require a four-man team; four
entries where a two-man team Is required; and five entries ln singles
events.
3. Each competitor will provide his
or her own canoe.
(They can be rented from Thomson for about $1.00 for the afternoon,
and are very convenient for watching rowing races.)
4. There will be no extrance foe.
5. There will be one race between
each rowing race.
6. The officials of the Rowing Club
will conduct the races,
TRACK_NOTICE
Eliminations for the Track Team
for Washington comenced on Saturday, at Brockton Point, at 1.15
sharp. Coach Granger wants every
athlete to make an appearance at
these try-outs. Remember that at
least 16 men will be Included on the
team. Pick out your events carefully,
then hand ln your entry, Saturday's
and  Monday's list Includes.
Sat. Mar. 1.2, Brookton Point, 1.15
100 yds., 440 yds., 1 mile.
Mon„ Mar. 14, U. B. C. Oval
Discus,  16 lb. Shot.
THE LAST WORD
BEFOREJTHE PLAY
Before the next issue of the "Ubyssey" the Spring play will have disclosed to the public all the wonders which
have hitherto been withhold. The
Frosh will have witnessed the most
terrific thunderstorm ever before presented upon a stage, with lightning,
rain, moon, stars, and clouds com.
plete. The forlorn gentleman who
escapes this tumult by seeking shelter in the room ot a Spanish maiden
will have created the romance of
which every girl in the audience will
dream tor months to come, Students
will have realised the unbelievable
past, which an Innocent old lady may
possess, including three husbands and
a wealth of experience most beneficial
in solving the complications which
surround her young grand-daughter.
The Players' Club has gone to great
trouble in the selection of costumes
and scenery, and "The Romantic
Young Lady" will in this respeot be
one of the best spring plays hitherto
produced. Judging from the excellence of recent rehearsals, the Players' Club presentation will in many
ways rival the recent New York and
London productions. There are still
a few seats left for this whlmsioal
comedy. Ask at the Auditorium Box
Office during the noon hour.
Canadian Rugby—One
Side of the Question
Editor, "The Ubyssey."
Dear Sir:
Will you please allow me the use
of your columns to explain the reasons why Canadian Rugby Club is
applying to be raised to the standing
of a minor sport. To. be brief and
simple I will tabulate these reasons:
(1) Canadian Rugby teams are the
hardest working teams ln University
athletics. These teams practice before lectures every day during their
season. No other team practices more
often than three times a week. We
believe these facts are worthy of consideration and should affect the issue.
(2) Our flrst team plays ln an intercity series corresponding to the Mc-
kechnle Cup league. Considering the
student and public interest ln the
games as shown In tho attendance,
and the way in which the University
name is enhanced ln the eyos of the
public, it la our serious, considered
opinion that our senior team deserves
the same letter award as Ice hockey,
tennis and the other minor sports.
(.'») When the Varaity Big Three
team wins the Intercity series, and
wo aro improving every season, we
will be playing the University of Alberta or Saskatchewan for the Western Canada championship. Canadian
Rugby is thus essentially an Inter-
colleglate sport. The Alberta game
last, fall proves that inter collegiate
gamea are possible from a financial
standpoint.
(4) The Club always has more than
one team, the second team being
entered in the Senior city or Intermediate leagues. The present team
has been practising every morning
since the flrst week of lectures and
Is now tied for the city championship.
Next year there will probably be an
Intercity Intermediate series ln which
Varsity would be sure to enter a
team. As long as Canadian Rugby Is
a sub- minor sport our seoond and
third teams reoelve no letter award
whatsoever. We sincerely believe
that our second team tlesorves the
recognition ot a plain letter.
We have yet to hear an objection
to our motion, and we think that the
majority of the students will support
it, as they should In plain justice.
But for the benefit of those who have
not yet decided because they do not
know the facts, I have taken thla
opportunity of putting them forward.
The meeting Is to be held on March
29. Let us have a representative student decision on this matter.
Thanking you for the uso of your
space, I am
Sincerely yours,
MAX CAMERON,
Treas. Canadian Rugby.
University Summer School to
Expand Its Curriculm
ClasseB in the eighth summer
session of the University of British
Columbia will begin July 4. Tbe
development of the summer session
has been one of the most interesting features of the growth of the university. It began ln 1020 as a summer school for teachers and Instruction was given without examination
or university credit. In 1921 lt became a part of the university and
credit was given tor courses In the
sssassssssassxstam
COUNCIL MEETING
Little business of importance was
dealt with at the meeting of the Students' Council on Monday, March 7th.
Owing to financial stringency, the
Council decided not to send a delegate to the P.S.P.A.
Provided that suitable guarantees
are arranged, the Rowing Club Is allowed two hundred and fifty dollars
for expenses which will be incurred
during their trip to Washington.
Permission was granted to the Players' Club to produce "The Romantic
Young Lady" In Ladner on March 8th.
A letter from the University Rowing
Club asked leave to hold the Annual
Regatta with the Vancouver Rowing
Club at the Clubhouse, on March 26,
1927. It also asked permission to
hold a tea dance after the regatta.
Both requests were granted.
ELECTION MEETINGS
Election meetings aro soheduled
ae follows; In caeo any office Is
filled by acclamation notice will
be given:
Wednesday, March 1e— Free.
L. 8. O. and Junior Member In
the Auditorium at Noon.
Thursday, March 17—Seeretary
and Treasurer In tho Auditorium
ot Noon,
Friday, March 18— Pree. Women's Athletloe in Arta 100 at
Noon. Pres. Men's Athletlos in
Ap. Se. 100 at Noon.
Monday, March 21—Pres. Women's Undergrad. In Arta 100 at
Noon. Pres. Men'e Undergrad. in
Ap. 8c. 100 at Noon.
TODAY, Tuesday, March 16, is
Polling Day for the office of Prea.
A.M.S. Everybody, men and women, will vote In the L.S.D. office,
303  Auditorium   Building.
Tuesday, March 22, is polling
day for all other offices. Polling
Booths are as follows:
Men—L.S.D, office, 303 Auditorium Building.
Women—Women's Upper Common Room.
For all elections the polling
booths will be open from 10 a.m.
to 4 p.m.
The Chinese Theatre
Provides a Thrill
An inundation of the Chinese
Theatre by nearly 176 students as
guests of the International Club took
place last Friday evening.
The performance was a real thriller,
consisting of attempted hanging, a
real suicide, a murder and a beheading, besides a passionate lover and
nn abduction. Gloria Swanson was
tame beside the fair Sue, and the
girls got a real thrill from the Chlnesu
Rudolph.
The costumes attracted tlie a Mention of every one by tholr gori ius-
ness antl variety, and the orclu .ra
certainly made the performance go
off with a bang!!
At about 10 o'clock the party adjourned to the W.K. Chop Suey House
where a Chinese supper was served,
and eaten with chop sticks assisted
hy an occasional finger,
The evening was thoroughly enjoyed by every one present.
'«$
>i
first and second years in arts.   Busy y
sequently courses in third year work
were introduced.   Now, by action of
the senate of the university, studonta
may take work for fourth year credit.
This will enable certain teachers wj
have been attending the summer M
slon practically since its Inception, i
obtain a pass degree in arts by attend*
ing two more summer sessions.  The
policy ot granting the B. A, degree
upon courses taken in summer sie>
slon is a very common one oh the
continent.
Queen'o Pioneer
The pioneer ln this work in Canada was Queen's University.   flaba
quently   the University pt   Torpa/
followed the example of Queen's, f "
Toronto and Queen's (have ala<
system   of   extra-mural   courses
means ot which teachers and o
approved students can ao work
credit   during   the   winter   men
Though the summer session sto4eai
association have mads many requests  .
for   a   similar   privilege   hero,   the
matter is •still under consideration w{m/&
the university authorities. f\/ 1
In addition to advanced courses !* 13S
the arts subjects, the summer saiMOtt ,w
will offer special courses in the flety, fi
ot education. The visiting leoturer
will be Professor Wllford M. Aiken of > J
St. Louis, formerly professor of see- ?
ondary education In tbe Ohio state ,;-*
university, and tor some years speolal •»
lecturer in tbe summer session ot Ua r>
University ot California at Berkeley. •
Fronoh Course ..   ., ■''
For the benefit of high school,
teachers of French and otaeee who
are interested in the study of tbe <
French language, a practical course
in French phonetics will be given daring the summer session. This course
will include daily practice in the pro*
nunciation of French, French intonation and reading.
It is expected that the summer Session announcement containing details
of courses and other matter of Interest to summer session students, will
be ready early ln March.—Star.
Ed. *27 Masquerade
as Merry Convicts
Of all the decoration motifs ever
effected at. Varsity dances none could
exceed In originality that called into
use by the Committee of Education
'27 last Thursday. Enterprising members of the Art class skilled in the
handling of ye olde charcoal crayon
carried out the details of mural decoration with deft touches of color.
The cosy walls of Willow Hall took on
the appearanoe of prison masonry. ,_
Forbidding bars across the windows
added to the strong-room effect. Suitably attired ln prison garb and barred
off ln their usual corner the mnslo-
making quartette manufactured toe-
tickling melodies with great gusto.
Serious-minded pedagogues waxed
merry over the sparkling punch and
tasty viands prepared by the women
of the class. Pretty moonlight waltaes
were much appreciated. Playful oon-
tests Incidental to the medley dances
called forth a great display of merriment.
"Convict Grace and his merry Jailbirds" worked hard on the preparation for this last dance to be held by
Varsity's student-teachers.
Dr. and Mrs. O. M. Weir, Dr. Sedgwick, Mrs. Sedgwick, Dr. Thymon and
Dean Bollert lent their kind patronage
to the affair, and this "night In Jail
with Education '27," as lt Is characterised on the charming little programmes was an event that wtll be recalled with pleasant memories, and
an abundanco of good fellowship.
CHEMISTRY SOCIETY
An open meeting of the
Chemistry Society, postponed from
last Wednesday, will be held Wednesday, March 16, in Room So. 200, at
3:10 p.m. Dr. W. F. Seyer will speak
on "Synthetic Helium." All Interested aro urged to attend.
VOTING for PRESIDENT of A.M.S. at L.S.D. Office, 9 to 4 TO-DAY mmmm.
mm*
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4^iRflPiPJi^
2
THE   UBYSSEY
March 15th, 1927
dill? HbnHBrii
L*>
(Member of Pacific Inter-Collegiate Press Association).
Issued every Tuesday and Friday by the Student Publications Board of the
University of British Columbia, West Point Orey.
Phone: Point Orey 1434
Mail Subscriptions rate: $8. per year.   Advertising rates on application.
Editorial Staff
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF—Edmund Morrison.
Senior Bdltora—David Warden and Donald Calvert
Associate Bdltors—Oeorge Davidson, J. Sinclair and M. Chrlstlson
and Doris Crompton
Feature Bdltor—F. 0. Pllkington
Assistant Editor—M. Desbrisay
Chief Reporter—Max Cameron
Sport Editor—Vernard Stewart
P.I.P.A. Editor-Mamie Moloney
Literary Bdltor—Darey Marsh.
Cartoonist—Oeorge Thompson.
Circulation Manager—Jim Taylor
■uslness Staff
Business Manager—Oerald Stevens.
Business Assistants—R. D. James; lev. Patriok; Ross Tolmie, Evelyn Fuller
tdltore-for-the-lesue*
Senior: D. Calvert; Associate: Doris Crompton
iV.
V
&*
OUR MORAL GU1DE-THE ROOTERS' CLUB
We retreat from the hurly-burly of student elections to spend
an idle moment, once again, with the Rooter's Club.   Some institutions and some persons there are who find the greatest difficulty in
bringing themselves into line with the Law of Universal Causation-
why they are existing, rather than otherwise.   The reason is never
( very hard to find, however; it is usually because they are really so
'♦darned amusing."   This may, or may not, be quite irrelevant to
'the Rooter's Club; it may be a pure digression— and again it may
,ltoi /
Idly turning over the pages—we always do turn pages over
ic^y—of debits and credits in the Students' Council room the other
, flay, y* chanced upon what was evidently supposed to be a financial
Statement of a danoe put on by tho Rooter's Club. It was an excellent
danoe evidently, for money was made: profits recorded in red ink
-   ;(Snd underlined) to the value of forty-one dollars.   The write-up of
?  the account itself had all the qualifications of a work of art; but this
v!- exquisite person of the Rooter's Club belongs to the old school and
ma not let the work pass on its own intrinsic merits—it needs must
> sflhave a moral significance!   The editorial board in the main is con-
J*' iervative and has little patience with the modern views about the
$    jtniqueness of art—exotic growths, we calls 'em—but is a firm believer that one of tbe essential attributes of any work of art is its
eommunioabiUty.   And so the Rooter's Club masterpiece shall be
communicated I Below the financial statement, in the ordinary ink
of man—0 unworthy medium—was written:
NO DRUNKS WERE PRESENT ....
The Ubyssey oommends the moral earnestness of this noble
Representative of Rooters; but we feel that if being sober is the
ratest virtue, all the other virtues must indeed be rather colorless,
is regrettable that in his narrow range he confines himself to
"sober-ness." Surely the Ten Commandments must feel just a bit
irritated by this neglect. They are eagerly waiting for the Rooter's
Olub to stage another dance—and above all to write another financial
report, hoping, that encouraged by the results of its flrst effort, it
will run through the long list of virtues and vices .-
'' NO THIEVES WERE PRESENT,. . . otc."
thus completing the moral cycle in which it began.  Following in line
with this re-establishment of tho moral function of art, we might
remind our readers that on this issue "no drunks were present."
OUR COACHES
This Universtiy is probably unique in that it is the only college
of its size on the continent having no paid athletic coaches. All the
men who guide the various Varsity teams give their services voluntarily, turning out regularly all season, in all kinds of weather, simply
for the sake of the Varsity and love of the game. Just what pleasure
can be derived by wasting much valuable time away from business,
endeavouring to train raw rookies into polished athletes, we do not
know, unless it be the satisfaction of producing that perfection and
coordination which make a winning team. Even in this event, while
the players receive the glory, the coach remains an insignificant
figure on the side-lines. Presentation Day emphasises this situation,
for while the athletes parade proudly to receive their letter awards,
the man behind the team receives neither mention nor reward but
remains" just the coach."
No matter what the financial condition of the student body may
be it is the bounden duty of Council to acknowledge the debt to
these coaches by some token of appreciation, a letter or a sweater,
Jiresented with the other athletic awards on Presentation Day. In
orroer years the members of some teams have clubbed together
to give some memento to their tutor, but this is not enough. Some
recognition of these services should be paid by the University, for
it is for the University as a whole that these men labour, not for the
individual. The plea of insufficient funds will not suffice, for just
as long as there is money to send teams on tour and to buy better
awards for athletes, there is money to purchase mementoes for all the
eoaches.
NEWS AND VIEWS
FROMJ)THER U's
The Evergreen, Washington State
College (P.P.A.).—Stirring tales of the
"Oolden Age" of football at Washington State from 1915 to 1919 were dug
up and retold by the old-timers around
Thorpe's last week when news came
of the selection of Dick Hanley, '19, as
head coach at Northwestern University.   His salary will be $7,500 a year.
Oregon Emerald (P.I.P.A.)—Of the
100 newspaper people who, It Is estimated, will attend the ninth annual
conference of the Oregon State Editorial association, about 16 per cent,
are alumni of Oregon, representing
classes whioh have graduated since
1909.
Dally Trojan (U. of S. Calif., P.I.P.-
A)—Striking changes in faculty scholarship rulings, under which upper
division studentB will be dropped from
the University upon failure to earn
grades of A, B, or C in two-thirds of
their registered hours each Quarter,
and lower division students the same,
who fall to maintain these grades ln
two-thirds of their hours for two consecutive quarters, were announced by
the registrar's office to take effect next
October.
Members of the Sooner basketball
team of U. of Oklahoma celebrated
their victory over the University of
Iowa with an Impromptu war dance
and as a result were lodged ln the
Orlnnell, lows jail for disturbing the
peace until a $10 fine was paid tor
their release.
INK AND THE LIBRARY
Editor-in-Chief.
Bear Sir:
May I beg the privilege of a little
of your space to write regarding an
incident that has recently Incurred in
the Library.
The incident to which I refer is
the splashing ot a quantity of ink on
the wall of the Main Reading Room
by the side of the stair-way to the
Magazine room.
An appeal against this sort ot carelessness has been Issued by Mr.
Ridington, with the note that further
offences may lead to the prohibition
of ink in the Library.
Now while some of us may be inclined to treat Library Rulings as objects ot much mirth, yet 1 feel nevertheless, that such an appeal Is worthy
of the fullest support on the part of
the Student Body.
This is not the only offence ot its
kind, there are others. To my knowledge, three brass hand-nails have
been forced from the wall by some
over-strong enthusiasts, and lt was
only a week or so ago that another
David threw a stone through a window in the magazine room.
There is no need, either, that we
should smash up the semi-permanent
buildings just because they aren't
built ot marble. There are only a
few of those who were actively engaged in the campaign, now attending
Varsity, but as one of them, and a
Senior student, I think I speak tor the
majority in asking tor at least decent
consideration for a generous gift trom
a young and pioneer province, whioh
one would hardly have thought willing to think about the colosal expense
of a University, muoh less to build
and maintain one.
Yours very truly,
John Stanley, Arts 27.
OH, ARTS '30....
Editor of "Ubyssey."
Dear Sir;
Before the end of the spring term
I would like to see some action taken
by the executive of Arts '30 towards
introducing the boys of Arts '31 to
college lite next September, Last
term the co-eds had a "Big Sister
Movement" for the purpose ot intro
duclng the girls to their new sur
roundIngs. Might I suggest that a
somewhat similar step be taken this
year by the boys. Each member of
the Bophomore class of Arts '80 and
Science '81, might choose a member
of the new Freshman class and aot
as a question answerer to the new
student for the first or second day of
college. The sophomore could do
many things that would make the
first day ot college worth while for
the Freshman. He could help his
younger neighbor by straightening
out the time-table problem. He
could show him where tha book-store
and the cafeteria are. He could take
him to the library and tell him how
to get books from either the ordinary
or "reserved1' shelves. Furthermore,
If each "Soph." were to take his
young friend to the "cafe" for an
afternoon lunch before going home,
the new student would feel that he
had at least one friend among the
large number of strangers. There
would he a touch of friendship established between the two classes that
would prepare the Freshman, to take
with the proper spirit, the friendly
encounter  of  the  Initiation.
If any action Is to be taken to establish such a movement In Arts '30
and Sc. '31, there Is no time like the
present for planning lt. For, If the
business Is left till the end of the
term It Is probable that no action at
all will be taken.
To some, however, actions such as
these suggested may seem unnecessary. Some may say that the Freshman should be able to find his own
way about. But recall, if you can,
your own feelings, or the flrst day of
college life. Personally, I feel that
If the suggested action was taken, the
flrst day at Varsity would mean much
more to the Freshman, by way of introduction to college, than the traditional Frosh reception.
I    would    like    to    see,    in    the
"Ubyssey," the opinions of others on
the formation of such a movement.
Yours truly,
Earnest Freshman.
(Nom-de-guerre.)
ARTS '27
All members of Arts '27 are asked
to observe that nominations for
offices on the permanent executive
are now ln order. These will Include
nominations for Hon. President, President, Vice-President, and Secretary-
Treasurer, and will be received by the
Secretary or any member of the executive up to the evening ot March 82nd.
Please act promptly ln this matter.
SENIORS ATTENTIONl
Don't forget the  oomblned  Senior
Class Meeting today, Tuesday, at 12
noon sharp, In Arta 100. ..Everybody
out.
A Widow's Tribute:—
"There wai no end to hli thonghtful-
ness. The Great-Wert Life monthly
cheque never fails ns; it meets every
need; we are free from investment
worries and the sin of extravagance,"
33
17
bla^k
degrees
3
copyim
Matt
dealers
Buy
a
dozen     PI»ln*>ndi,petdoe.       $1.00
J^SSrrJ Rubberenda,perdos>      140
Astericaa Peaell Co., 218 Fifth Ave.,rU.
„f     Mak*r$ofUNIQVBTki*}l*eg
ColoredPentiUiali colore—$1.00 pet eto*.
Superlative in quality,
the world-famous
\7ENUS
YPENOLS
rive best service and
longest wear.
THE DEPARTURE
From the bridge the shrill, peremptory note of the officer's whistle
pierces the air. A gTOup of expectant
men upou the dock hastily release
the long hemp line from Its Iron
fastening. A steam winch In the
ship's bow begins to revolve rumbllng-
ly; and the cord slides sinuously at
flrst, like a water snake, then dives
with a slap and splash Into the bright
Jade expense. Now up It comes on
the castle walls of the boat, and drips
crystal beads, and drops clusters of
yellow sea-weed. Soon the armored
end ot the rope disappears in the
prow of the vessel. From the aft
part comes a sound as of a muffled
churning of propellors. The great
liner quivers and shakes from stem
to stern. Slowly, ever so slowly, almost Imperceptibly, the rusty, red
striping of the hull slips through the
sparkling emerald waters. Myriads of
sliver minnows flash in shoals hither
and thither, disturbed by this moving
monster. Faster, ever faster glides
the steamer; little ripples grow Into
small waves, and small waves into big
ones. The band on board strikes up
"Aloha Oi," and the plaintive strains
grow fainter aud fainter as she recedes. Now she stops in mid-stream,
and from her funnels, clouds black as
pitch, ascend in whorls to the asure
sky. The majestic liner turns, gathering speed as she goes plowing past
Brockton Point. Her blades lash furiously the cerulean Inlet; and In her
wake she leaves eddying pools, and
white, foamy bubbles. A puff of wind
brings to those on shore a fragment
of music. The sun suddenly gleams
on her brass fittings, as though to
kiss her good-bye. Tlie wind veers,
and the smoke pall obscures her from
the watchers on the pier. And now
all you can see of her is her stately
mast, gliding among the lordly trees
ln Stanley Park.
4X CAKES
H.M. Nugent & Co.
TINTS, AWNINOS,
SAILS,
CAMP EQUIPMMT,
HIKBR8' PACK SACKS
54 WATER STREET
PHONE, SCY. 4641
H
Saved!
LOST— "Trlaonometry" Loney—
Part II. F Indor pleaae return to book
etore.
A BOX IN TIME
SAVES NINE
SITUATIONS OUT
OF TEN.
Soy. 6217
ORFHIUM THEATRE ■IDA,
The Oreat Sapp ad. eenteet la won thieweek
by Eleanor Chilton, Arte SO, who wrote thlt)
•d. end vote a bos of Sapp Choeolatee end a
eet of four-wheel brakee. We went ade. from
people who eat Sepp Choeolatee themeehes.
•a
J.W.Foster Ltd.
438 GRANVILLE ST.
SNAPPY CLOTHES FOR
YOUNfl MEN
ANO   MIN   WHO  STAY
YOUNfl
Agents for
BURBERRY
COATS
Sec US Before Bayii
tarn
ring I
a*sssssa**s***Bw
MM \
\f
ffifS
'?*H
March: 15th, 192T
THE    UBYSSEY
MUeK«A-MUeK
SO
MEN'S
COLLEGE
OXFORDS
Now showing the new
Spring Oxfotd. in plain
and iport patterns.
ePHce
Price
WILSON'S
WIN SHOE STO WES
187-189 HASTINGS ST., W.
Phone, Sey, 8*0*
m
wtth ooUtre sttaohod - tne kind
that yoem »es ere wearlai to-dsy.
$2.50 $3.00 aiid $3.50
Nottlii|l!Kemesesji*fw1»ereeleels
town.
TURPIN BROS., LTD.
Men's Outfitters
629 GRANVILLE ST.
ilia tmemeeeme-
, ,»i|il|n|HHi| in
TOVE'Sbounds where Love's
*^   Eats are found;
A man Loves his dish as he
Loves his (wife) life.
Then-Eat et Love's, who Loves
to serve the things you Love.
eaewaa-eaWJavaMtea
Love's Cafe   |
PROP., BERT LOVE
92S Granville Street
li ii i i i i i i i I i i I i H'|
f
MP
"The
New Brock"
\Jt7A TCHthe next game
from under one of
these Snappy new models—
You'll score a point at the
outset. Raw edge or smart
curl brims. Plain or pastel effect bands. Sises 6)4
to Tyi
$6.50
David Spencer
UMITSD
"COLLEGE DAZE"
by P.I.P.
Author of "The Shine of Western
Moons" eto.
Synopsis ef Preceding Inetalments.
Jasper Prout has planned the destruction of Ous Hardy, his deadly
rival. He steals the eggs of Hen No.
6, and leaves a garter marked Ous H.
to implicate Hardy. A mob of Aggies
attempt to lynch Ous, but are frustrated in the nick of time by the arrival of Johnny Oliver with the hen.
Meanwhile Prout abducts Jane Stone,
who suspects foul play, and carries
her away In his ear.
Now read on:
Chapter VIII,
Onward dashed the Ford, with Jasper Prout grasping his struggling victim with one hand and guiding the
madly-racing oar with the other. Well
was lt for him that he had obtained
so much practice tn one-hand steering
in countless potting parties. The long
grey ribbon ot Tenth Avenue unrolled beneath them, and in spite of her
fear, Jane wished that the Varsity
'buses would try to go as fast.
"Curses I" hissed Jasper Prout
through his clenohed teeth, like a Li
brarian demanding silence, "I will
beat them yet."
The ear sped madly through street
after street, leaving Vancouver far behind. At last Prout pulled up at a
small shaek and dragged Jane within,
as mercilessly as a correspondent
slamming the "Ubyssey." He threw
her In a corner with brutal precision,
and strode outside. "Stay there!" he
snarlod, "You'll be out of the way until the trial is over. I must be off."
He slammed the door shut and looked It On the outside. "You can stay
there for a ooupla days," he growled
as he started his Ford. "I'm a tough
guy, I am. I'm in Science '80.."
•   e   e
The day of the trial had come. The
Students' Court was as crowded as
a pep meeting with eager, anxious
students, furtively eating chocolate
bars and trying to evade the baleful
eye of Flrpo Wood', the sergeant-at-
arms. Sophomores sneered ostentatiously, Juniors frowned severely and
seniors, with halt closed eyes, cynically discussed the psychological possibilities of cross-examination. All were
waiting with scarce concealed excitement for the tense human drama
that was about to unfold before them.
"Ubyssey" reporters, as naive as Tolstoi's peasant, were sorting huge
piles of yellow paper as a preliminary
to their great opportunity for fame.
Rugby players were persistently demanding what was the difference between a Plaintiff and a Defendant.
Row upon row of lowering Aggies were
murmuring Incoherently as they gloated over their Intended victim who
had cheated the gallows.
Calm and alocf, Judge Johnny Oliver was sitting ln the bench, eating
a banana. Denis Murphy, Council for
the Prosecution was shuffling his
papers. Dert Bailey, Council for Defence was looking anxiously at tho
Jury, which was snoring peacefully.
And ln the Prisoners Dock, Gus Hardy
was defiantly humming "My Girls a
Hullaballoo." to keep his courage up.
"You are accused of the theft of
fourteen eggs, the achievements ot
Hen No. 6, plaintiff, and for attempted
murder of the said party," droned the
judge, after the charge had been read,
"Do you plead 'guilty' or 'not guilty'?"
"Not guilty," replied Hardy, calmly,
amid the skyrockets of the Artsmen
and the growls of the Aggies . . .
Nick Wagoner was the first witness.
In the course of the cross-questioning,
he related how the nest had been
found robbed, with the heroic mother
lying unconscious behind lt.
A roar of rage rose from the farmers and and was only checked when
Sid Bowman and Jack Swanson were
forcibly ejected.
" and In searching with my usual
detective skill," continued the witness,
"I discovered this!" In tense silence
he held up the fatal garter. "Here is
the clue." the prosecutor said, In the
tones of a doctor finding a case of
measles, "This lo the small bit of evidence that will condemn Gus Hardy.
Gentleman of the jury, this garter
belongs to Gus Hardy. His initials
Identify him!"
A murmur ot excitement rose from
the spectators, who were eagerly leaning forward. All eyes turned towards
the prisoner, who was clutching the
sides of tbe Prisoners' Dock ln his
torment of mind.
"Twenty to one in favor of Hardy's
conviction," whispered Jasper Prout
to his fellow gambler, Jimmy O'HIg-
gin.
(To be continued.)
 «...«.-« „	
A thing of beauty is a source of
worry.
Students Support
Candidate Wumpus
MR. SILAS WUMPUS, Selenee 'SO
Mr. Silas Wumpus has been nominated for President of the Alma Mater
Society by most of the intellectual
people of this University, Including
the Feature Staff, and is confident of
being elected by an overwhelming
majority..
First ot all, he advocates the complete abolition of the Science '30
sweatshirts, that having been the disgrace ot the campus for so many
months. On this plank, at least, he
Is sure of enthusiastic support.
Secondly, he Is In favor of carpets
and settees In the Men's Common
Room, so that the lounge lizards and
parlor nheiks can form plans for reforming the world, in comfort.
He advocates tho conversion of the
Aggie poultry pens Into training
shacks for the use of athletes, and
claims that, they are in a far more
convenient position than the proposed
fire hall-dressing room combination.
As students are so fond of paying
Alma Mater fees, he advocates a twenty-five dollar charge to be made by
each student to cover the cost of a
stadium, a dance hall, a swimming
tank and a boxing ring to be erected
60 years hence. Thus the present students at a trifling cost of a few million dollars can provide for the accommodation of their grand-children.
Mr. Wumpus of course makes all
the usual election promises, such as
upholding the prestige of the U.B.C,
Instituting a vague system of initiation discipline and finance.
At the present time Mr. Wumpus is
making himself very agreeable to all
students, and giving cigars to his supporters. His past work has been
praised in the campaign meetings by
no less persons than: Cyrus McOawk,
President of the Petters Club; Miss
Etta Pye, Secretary of the Anti-smoking League; Herbert Spavins, Vice-
President of the African Golf Club;
Oscar Kruschen, Third Assistant Reporter of the "Hellusay," and Miss
Mary Lamb of the Common Room Debating Society.
Every student Is urged to vote for
Mr. Wumpus. Already the Freshettes
have promised to vote for him on account of his handsome face, livery-
body out for Wumpus for President
on election day!
Valedictory Gifts
About this time every year, the
senior class is faced with the grave
necessity of choosing its valedictory
gift. This is a very serious affair, as
in the years to come the next generation (which is going to the dogs, of
course) will form its opinion of their
predecessors from their parting gifts.
Therefore, it would be well If the
seniors were given a few suggestions
to help them along.
The flrst brain-wave on hand is the
suggestion that the gift should consist of a number of nice shining cuspidors for the Men's Common Room.
In addition, tho words "Science '30"
could be neatly engraved Inside to
encourage the students ln the use of
these articles.
Or perhaps the gift could be in
money—to pay off 10 minutes' Interest on the gymnasium debt. (In making this suggestion we are presuming
that the seniors have plenty of cash
to spare.)
Personally, we should favor the donation of several gross of tins of silver polish to keep the McKechnie
Cup shiny during the next few decades.
There Is still another proposition
that could be considered. It Is a well-
known fact that the assistants on
duty ln the Library find their duty
very monotonous, For this reason,
It would be an act of great kindness,
It the graduating class would present
these sufferers with a high power radio set. This would not only introduce a little variety Into the Uvea of
the assistants, but would spread the
fame of the senior class throughout
the University.
Wild Profs. I Have
Known
9:10 a.m., or thereabouts.   Monday
morning.   E I.   As usual, the
main oog in the machine is late. The
men who have been beguiling the
time by throwing chalk, brushes, etc.,
at one another, begin to look hopeful.
"He's not coming, let's beat it" exclaims one student, bolder than his
fellows, Their hopes are suddenly
dashed to the floor, as a gowned figure
onterc abruptly. The erstwhile romping undergrads slink dolefully to their
seats. A tense silence ensues, while
the prof, balanees himself on the edge
of the desk, and smiling benignly on
the shining faces turned towards him,
searches slowly through pockot after
pocket. At last—"I've left my glasses
at  home.    Somebody  will  have  to
read.  Mr. , will you begin please."
The gangling youth at whom this Is
aimed starts, stammers incoherently,
and is silent.   Something wrong,
"What's this?" roars the excited
prof., striding majestically to tlie delinquent's seat. A diabolical grin
slowly spreads over his swarthy
features. "AhaI" he burta out, "I see,
you have no book. How's this, haven't
I told you often enough that you must
have 50 per oent. of a book here?"——
"You there," pointing to the "man"
nearest him, "have you a book?" A
pause, then, "No, sir." "All right, ont
you both go. If you oan swipe a book
you may both come back. One ticket
admits two."
The bookless ones disappear, the
Class guffaw, and the big man grins.
"Now," he begins in a startling
vibrant voice, "Heavens I I have tor-
gotten my book. Last day we were
discussing this from an outsider's
point of view. Mr.——, what is your
opinion?"
Mr.-— straightens himself in his
seat, clears his throat, and pipes, "I
think that ," but the olass never
receives the benefit of his lucid
thought, for the man bounces trom
his desk with a roar. "Gosh—ding—it
—man, you haven't got the Idea at
all. Look here," striding to the board,
"suppose Professor Hookumsnlffy, the
learned doctor, is talking to Bill
Snooks, "
He doesn't finish either, for at this
moment a knock sounds at the door,
it 1b opened, and a youthful head pops
Into view. Tbe big mogul punches
his index finger into his nose, looking
at the new arrival. His scowl, which
is a masterpiece of facial gymnastics,
would bear comparison with that of a
Maori yell leader. A slight pause,
then he slowly says, "I suppose you
have a legitimate reason?" "Yes sir,
I couldn't get a bus." The class roars
and the prof, grins while the late
arrival stumbles to his seat. The
prof,  looks him over and    resumes.
"Mr. ,  we  were  discussing ,
and on goes the lecture.
It Is Interrupted, weeks later lt
seems, by the tinkling of a bell. The
prof, raises his hand expectantly, and
a great light breaks over the faces of
all present. The prof, looks happiest
of any. lie pats the top of his head
lovingly.   "That will do." he smiles.
Comtnodore Cafe j
Oelloloue Meale.  Courteous Service.
-:•   DANCING   •:•
872 Granville Street      j
Lewis Wharton, ba., llm.
Tuition Given In University 8ubjecto
 AT	
821 Pender Street, West
ANO
437S 7th Ave., W„ West Point Srey
INDIVIDUAL  ATTENTION
TBftfti* HODIRATK
IOHT
•B.VMOUN 70SM
PT.OWtV J07-I.
Drive Yourself ! I
PH0NI, SIY. sua
RENT-A-CAR
LIMITID
Speolal Rates for Danoee, eto.
S85 SEYMOUR ST.
"—"«■♦
A lot of toe follows have
foriottea leask fer tkelr
10% DISCOUNT
Don't Forget
10* Discount to Students
"Your Bosom Friend"
GOLD'S HABIRDAtNIIY
SSS ROBSON ST.
at Qraaville
ANATOMICAL,
BOOT REPAIRING
43SS TENTH AVENUE, WIST     ,
phonbi point okby m
onnaaa cam<bd roa ano obuv
twowm*s*w*m*mMsmMmaBBm-
*'M
I m Mum I Hiil'H Hm I m I It l'H<* Hl-'Wie*  vHJ
Henrietta I
flweiVs
<H>0D
HGMMMM
CH0C0UU8
te II.
709 Robson - - 990 Orasvllle
4n  I'.'I'I mi'I'I'-I'll  tllUnljll I  I  lilllllll^iy
•«*s
ffTSM
REMINGTON
PORTABLE     „
TYPEWRITERS I
Compact as a watok— a fl
seoeostty fer everyone
who has writing to de.
18.00 down and $8.00
a Heath will bay eae of
these wonderful maeslses
with oarryhm ease.
Very Special Price to
Varsity Students.
AT TNE UNIVERSITY BOOKSTORE
— oa —
Remington Typewriter (o.
888 SEYMOUR STREET
Phone, Sey. 2408
%.,
}
'%
**
,       nr
EDWARD LIPSETT,
LIMITED
AUTO CAMPING
SUPPLIES,
GAMP FURNITURE,
TENTS, AWNINGS.
Phone, Sey. 6031
♦—.
~»
rf=s
LOOSE-LEAF
M.u BOOKS ANO REFILLS
THESIS 8HEET8
DRAWING MATERIALS
FOUNTAIN PENS
THK
CLARKE
ANO
STUART
CO.. LTD.
55Q SEYMOUR ST. 550
Phone, Seymour 3000
u 4
THE    UBYSSEY
Makck 15TS, 1837
*?
|l
ANNOUNCING OUR NEW
CASH DISCOUNT SYSTEM
A simple, self-working plan
that saves you money on
every cash purchase
at
a?'
fP * '
FIR each and every 26c you spend in this store
you receive a CASH DISCOUNT BOND.
You can use these BONDS in this store just the
same aa money. We will redeem them, at their
face value—at any time—in any number—on any
purchase.
This CASH DISCOUNT SYSTEM gives the col-
lege man a discount of 34c on every $8.50 pair of
VARSITY SHOES
No thrifty collegian oan afford to
overlook the worth while-savings
these bonds offer
McRobbie Shoe Co.
563 GRANVILLE ST.
ft.
nm «ii»iiniii mi iiii|niinniiiii>i»H'«n»i •
GABLES
l^eolal8tudeftte'Lunoh,a0o
RISULAR IUN0H, 40o.
<sss>
AFTERNOON TIA DANCES
IVIRY TUESDAY AND FRIDAY
front 8:00 te 8:00
•TARTINS FRIOAY, FEB. 4th.
■I line 'I il'Iii I I I I'I I I I'I l"l'I III I »' •
ft*
eea
The University
Book Store
Hours t
0 a.m. to 6 p.m.
Saturdays, 0 a.m. to 1 p.m.
Loose-Leaf Note Books,
Exerolee Books asd Sorlbblere
At Reduced Prloee
Also, flraphlo and Engineering Paper
Biology Paper, Loose-Leaf RefHI*
Fountain Pens snd Ink
Pencils anil Drawing Instruments
ALL YOUR BOOK SUPPLIES Sold Here
Originality
is the first thought
of our artists and
craftsmen when an
order ia left in our
care.
Let us make your
next Class Dance
Programme a real
souvenir oi the occasion.
GcHivKE S
Stationers, Printers,
< * Engravers - »
566 SEYMOUR STREET
Canadian Rugby
Team Defeats
The Royal City
The Intermediate Canadian Rugby
team travelled to Westminster Saturday and were successful in beating
the Royal City team 12—0. Bill Hag-
gerty, Varsity half-back, made the two
touchdowns, and ». safety touch accounted for the other two points.
The morale of the team was much
improved, and this, together with
more finished tackling, blocking and
clipping, was responsible for the Varsity victory.
The team showed improvement in
all departments ot the game. The
back field passing was' surer, with
fewer fumbles; once or twice end
runs got away for gains for the first
time this season. Bucking was also
more successful, though the men have
not got the low-running technique well
in hand yet. If the Blue and Oold
line bucks are to gain ground against
the strong Meraloma line next Saturday, the men must run so low that
tholr noses trail the Kround.
The play of the forwards was brt-
ter on Sat unlay. V. was the cillclent
opi'iiiiiK up ol holes that kiivo Han-
KiTty n chance to gain ground for his
lonx bucks. A noticeable feature of
the Kiiine was last charging and continual tight exhibited by the wings.
Another noteworthy point is the way
the line held on Varsity punts. The
very good team-work of the line promises success next week. Several ot
the boys found themselves for tho first
time. It must be admitted, however,
that no email part of the line's success Is due to the inexperience of the
Royal City team.
The Royal City team, though Inexperienced, came through with some
nice football, though their Ignorance
of the Interference rule cost them a
touchdown. Tip Robertson, one time
Varsity back, was the principal star
on the losing team, his kicks being
long and well placed. Mlnnehan,
Sampson, Qordon and Stone all showed promise. With practice the team
should form the nucleus of a strong
intercity squad next fall.
Saturday's victory ties Varsity and
the Meralomas for the city championship. The Meralomas have beaten
Varsity 13—5, and Varsity beat the
Meralomas 11-0. New Westminster
held the Meralomas 7-0, and the
larger Varsity tally Is no doubt due
to the fighting spirit of the Blue and
Oold squad. Another week's practice
should put. this husky bunch of scrap
pern well on their feet. The team Is
out for blood next Saturday, and every
man Is expected out every niornltiK
this week.
Lineup:—Left-back, Stan Millar; le-
sides, Wllf Hall, Sandy Smith, Brent
Brown; middle wings, Tiny Noble,
Oliver Canior,sl, Teddy Bain, Doc
Johnstone; outstdea, Bob OrlrTis, Lorne
Dawson, Milt Harrell, Jimmy Mitchell;
quarterback, Cece Helmer; back-field,
Jack Parker, Bill Haggerty,, Murray
Fraser, Burt Dunham, Lawrence
Robson.
P. I. P. A.
University of Washington Daily
(P.I.P.A.)— In response to an appeal
from a night-watchman early Saturday morning, a squadron of police arrived on the campus in prowler cars
and took lu hand three of five freshmen who had painted their class "80"
on the roof of the penny field stand.
Two of the sign painters made good
their escape in the darkness. One of
the students arrested was released to
his parents, the other two being held
for the night In the city jail. As the
building Is to be torn down soon, the
three apprehended offenders were let
off after they had applied a coat of
black palut to tho numerals.
Seven different kinds of heating
systems ranging from the old hot
water kind to the modern washed air
type are In use In campus buildings at
the University of Washington.
Formal dress for debaters appeared
for the first time at the University of
Washington during a recent California-Washington debate.
Sophomore vigilantes at the University of Washington have declared
war on all under classmen found
wearing cords.
Two men have been killed over a
period of thirty-three years building
activity at the University of Washington.
Fee statements for the Spring quarter have been sent through the mails
at the University of Washington.
All-University golf and tennis tournaments are being sponsored by the
Dally, student newspaper at the University of Washington.
Dally Bruin, University of California (P.I.P.A.)—Eugene, Mar. 4—In
these days of "panning" the athlete,
the viewpoint of Professor Walter
Barnes, historian for the university of
Oregon is refreshing.
Professor Barnes declares that the
average student gets a bigger return
from his studies if he participates In
some sort of sport. He thinks making
athletics a serious business is to be
considered as opposing studies, and
he believes efforts should be controlled, in this connection.
SACRAMENTO, Feb. 24—U.N.)—
Amendment of the anti-evolution bill
now before the state legislature so
that Us terms will apply to the University of California and the state
teachers' colleges, was deolded upon
today by Assemblyman S. L. Hels-
inger, author of the measure.
The bill, whioh would make it Illegal "to teach as a fact that man Is
descended from a lower form of animal" ln its present form refers only
to public elementary and high schools.
Helslnger Is also considering the
elimination of the phrase "as a fact"
on the grounds that It might bo confusing to educational heads and the
public.
"Pinkey":    Where   are   you   from,
"Torchy"?
"Torchy": .Nanaimo,
"Pinkey": What part?
"Torchy": All of me, of course.
—Witt.
* »    »
•71111  Joined   the  S.  (A  M."
"For goodness' sakes?''
"\o.    Just   to  help   them  along."
* *    *
"Lux's against us," sighed the Gold
Dust Twins."—(Satyr).
* •    •
A box at the opera Is better than
one on the ear.-—(Pitt Panther),
e   •   e
Darkey:   "Doc, I'ae Jest been bit by
a dog."
Doc;    "Well, well!    Was he a rabid dog?"
Darkey:    "Nassah!   Doc,    he    was
Just a plain ole bird dog."
—Mountain Ooat.
e    *    *
Charlie  Mottley:   Say,  Bert,  you'd
make a wonderful fireman.
Bert Bailey: How's that?
C.  M.:   You never take your eyes
off the hose.
—Adapted.
Muck-a-Muck
KAMPUS KRAX
To-day's Horrible Thought: What
did we have at that Chlneee restaurant, laat Friday?
e   •   e
"Oh, what catchy looking fly pa-
perl"
e   e   e
Mr. J. Kldlngton Is mistaken—there
are only  forty-nine ink-spots on the
Library wall.
• e   e
No, Penelope, the letters Ap, Sc.
do not stand for "apple sauce."
Alleged Jokes
If you ean't laugh at the Jokes of
this age, laugh at the age of these
jokes.
—Satyr.
e   e   e
Drunk (stopping street car): "Shay,
thish car go to Broadway and Granville?"
Conductor:   "Yes."
Drunk: "Well, g'bye, and Ood blesh
youl"
—Chaparral.
e   a   »
Landlady:   "I think you had better
board elsewhere."
Gerry Stevens:   "Yes, I often had."
Landlady:   "Often had what?"
Gerry Stevens:   "Had better board
elsewhere."
—Voo Doo.
see
Sponge:   "I   think   a   street   oar
has just passed."
Wet:   '"How do you know?"
Sponge:   "I oan see its tracks."
—Witt.
• e   *
"Pinkey" Stewart:   "How did you
break your arm?"
Max Cameron:   'Changing a tire."
"Pinkey":   "You shouldn't have attempted to put ou those heavy woollens without help.
—Ollapod.
e    e    e
Reg Wilson: "I busted par yesterday."
Jack Richardson (Incredulously):
"Zasso?"
Reg. Wilson:    "And he busted me
right back."
—Iowa Frivol.
e   e   e
A laundry Is as weak as its,weakest chink.—Wisconsin Octopus."
e    e    e
A  brain Is only as strong as Its
weakest think.—Pen. State Froth.
e    e    e
When  in   Rome  do  as   Mussolini
does.—Lafayette Lyre,
e    e    e
PsychologyProf.:     Name   the   five
senses.
Student: Nickels.
• e    e
Jack Richardson: I couldn't find this
golf course yesterday.
Reg Wilson: I've always heard of
the missing links,
—Okla. Whirlwind.
• •    *
Irate Father: And so, young man,
you fulled your year at college?
Erring Son: Yes, sir, hut then, 1
failed In aecond year high school.
I. F.: What! Are you offering that
as an excuse?
E. S.: No, sir, as a precedent.
—M.I.T. Voo Doo.
• •    *
Science   tells   us   that   a   "swivel
chair" job lessens a man's endurance,
all of which goes to prove that the
more you sit the less you can stand.
—Yale Record.
• *     a
J. O'Hagan: Say, Prof., whon day
breaks, where do the pieces go?
—California Pelican.
• *   •
Sandy Smith: Say, Harold, what
made you go back Into Arts?
Harold Moscrop: They started to
give me problems about pulling up
wells and sawing them Into pout holes.
—Adapted.
ABSTINENCE FROM BOOKS
One of our Applied Science students wm heard the other day to
express in determined tones tho remarkable fact that he had never
rend a book of his own accord, nnd never would. That such a statement should be tnnde by a University atudent seems incongruous, and
yet it is .surprising to find how few of the pupils take any interest
in literature, outside tho curriculum of their own particular studies.
With so adequate a library actually on tho campus, such negligence
is inexcusable. Surely wo all realize, that no ono can be formed well-
educated unions lie possesses a fair knowledge nf past and current
literature, and that one of the chief aims of university education ia to
open for liim I ho doors that lead to further fields which ho may explore at, leisure during and after bis college career. Therefore it is
his duty to supplement his work with as much collateral roading as
his time will possibly allow, "A man's life is made by the hours when
great ideas lay hold upon him, and, except by way of living persons,
there is no channel down which great ideas come oftener into human
lives than by way of books."
CHECK
SHIRTS
In heavy repp and
broadcloth,  good
colorings, effective ,
and smart, only
$1.95
C. D. BRUCE
LIMITID
Car. ef Hastings aael Hoeaer Ste.
i VARSITY
i PICTURES
TOP NOTCH
QUALITY - .
$7.00 Dozen
$4.00 yi Dozen
Bridgman'f
Studio
413 Granville) St
»»»♦♦♦♦» »»♦»♦»»»♦♦♦»«»»♦#
QORDON 0RAIQ
(ARTS -IS)
RADIO SPECIALIST
COHPllTi LINE OF PARTS
ANDSETS,
EXPERT REPAIR DEPARTMENT.
See Me First, Not Last t
Passe, Sey. 8808
637 RICHARDS STREET
1   "" "I' l IH'H'a lit |ii|ii«h
MEN'S HATS and.CAPS
"Look at your Hat—
Everyone else does."
GET A "NUTOF" FROM
LIHFORTHS,
417
GRANVILLE ST.
4'*'■'*'■■'■ iiinn iti.t
Evans & Hastings
•'*     •:•     PIONEER     •:•     •:-
BETTER QUALITY PRINTERS
Prices High I
qap
A    H'lM   SUCCtjaytll    SUJINkflS    CAMM
IP*    VAMCOUVIR    PROVia   CONCLUJIVUT
THAT   Wl   ARI   fAVOHID   MORI   THAN
OTMIHI iV TH» HACTINO PUallC
WHIN   THIV   DESIRI   TNIla
KONIV'S  WORTH.
<»>
fcbioazlnee, Annuals,
Oaaoe Programmes, Legal Forme,
8oolal Stationery,
Poslsr Work,
General Commercial Prlstiaf
See a* be/or* ordering *t**wh*r*.
Phone, 8ey. 188     876 8eymeer Si
*4sa«
Baseball and
Tennis
Stuff
1020 hai got in all the new
Baseball and Tennis stuff (or
the coming season.
But get a Catalogue. It's just
off the preu and it has all the
new good* and you know you
can depend upon the price.
X
Lisle Fraser
Sporting Goods
1 A*>A GRANVILLE
IvAV 9TREET

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