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The Ubyssey Feb 10, 1942

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 Reds Engineer  Science  Ball  Thursday   Night
SCIENCE
ISSUE
vol. xxrv
PUBLISHED TWICE WEEKLY BY THE PUBLICATIONS BOARD OF THE UNIVERSITY OF BRITISH COLUMBIA
*   *   ♦   *
VANCOUVER, B. C, TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 10,1942
SCIENCE
ISSUE
No. 30
Timber Control Board
Conscripts Liersch
• JOHN E. LIERSCH, head of the Department of Forestry,
has been granted leave of absence for the duration to
s«sp«rvise sitka-spruce logging in the Queen Charlotte Islands
lot ihe Timber Control Board of Canada. Recognized as one
•f the outstanding loggers in the Pacific North West, Mr.
Ltsrsch graduated from the University of British Columbia
• 1827 with a double degree of B.A.Sc. and B.A.
Five years later he specialized in
Rogi
lues
Gallery
intern on the heat at the
ce Ball.
iery
. . ex-councillor
■TAN AP ROBERTS: Fitfh year
Mating student and former Junior
Member and Treasurer of the Alma
Motor Society who can look back
ea four stormy and tempestuous
midergraduate years. Courageous
k* the face of opposition, ap work-
nd for tho Brock Hall, for student
control of student buildings, and
fm student rights, 'file A.M.S.
■••d moro men like "Ap".
Incumbent
grieves
CHARTS W. NASH, lean and
kongry MUS prexy and fifth ycar
Mechanical engineer who grieves
today at the loss of his faithful
companion "My Motyblke." A well
knewn campus figure and keen
stadent of students' affairs, Char-
He turned poet for thc Science
feme. But, alas, his efforts are
red.
Lanky
. . retires
Mar.KlWON    BUCK:    Junior
Member on Council and dynamic
rfWInhiii whose- creative talents
rnticeivrd (ndav '•> master |M'p meet.
M»<-* clleclivch denied reports
tlmi he would seek a seal on Conn-.
i<l ne\l \car, His decision is the
I hii\ crsit v's  loss.
selective logging with mechanized
tractors at the University of Washington under a Charles Lathrop
Pack Forestry Fellowship. Mr.
Liersch is the only UBC forestry
graduate who has won this most-
cpveted forestry fellowship on the
continent.
EXPERIENCED LOGGER
Appointed head of the Department last year, Mr. Liersch took
over at the first of the year, bringing with him practical logging ex-
perence and forestry method*.
Since his graduation in 1927, he
worked for the B.C. Forest Service, the Dominion Forest Surveys,
the Crown Willamette Paper Co.
of Washington, the Malahat Logging Company on Vancouver Island, and for the United States
Forest Service. v During the past
five years, until his appointment
as head of the department of forestry, he logged spruce on the
Queen Charlotte Islands.
During his absence the staff will
consist of F. M. Knapp, B.S.F.,
M.S.F., former Acting Head of the
Department. B. G. Griffith, M.A.,
M.F., Ph.D.; and T. G. Wright,
B.F., M.F.
Engineers
Assist
Musicians
• HAMMER, saw and profanity arc currently being applied with enthusiasm
backstage in the Auditorium,
where Holmes Gardiner and
his crew of flat manipulators
are raising the tower of
London, and more, judging
by the racket, for the Musical Society's production of
"Yeomen of the Guard."
The .stage crow, mostly Science-
men, will be working like bees
for the next two weeks, an awfully
noisy bunch of bees, as one of the
cast remarked. Gardiner, Lcgree
of the stagemen, Walt Goodwin,
and Brick Elliott, represent 4th
year Science; Eric Smith, 5th year;
Perry Hooper, Frank Haney, Or-
ville Ontkeen, and Dennis Robin-
son, 3rd year, and George Spcak-
man, 2nd year.
The other branches of Mus Soc
activity are also replete with
Sciencemen. Fifth year Forestry
was represented by Dune McFay-
den, President of the Society, who
last month joined the R.C.A.F.
Redmen in the orchestra are Ted
Spaetgens. violin; John DeLeen,
clarinet, and Bill Sinclair, oboe,
all in 4th year, and Leo Foster,
bass, 3rd year.
In the chorus of Yeomen are
Art Irwin, graduate Scienceman
in Geology, and Ron White, Al
Day, Len Cox, and Vic Handforth,
4th year.
• Have your Kharkov-ered with
red for  Feb.  12.
Stalin Aids Reds • • •' by B.Angiey
HXOOKEAHCKOE IHIIiEPElKhE MfflKET QTR110 PyCCKOMY WOHTY OB XMUAI
Self-Denial
•   CONTINUING   the   "No
Corsage" policy adopted
by S.M.U.S. last year, Commissar Harold Graham, treasurer of S.M.U.S., stated late
last night that all corsages
ure definitely banned for the
Science Ball at the Commodore Cabaret tills Thursday
evening, February \2. Red
carnations will be sold at
the door for a nominal
charge of fifty cents. All
redshirts are expected to
buy.
In accordance with the desires of U.B.C.'s Corsage
Commlsar, all net proceeds
will be turned over to the
chairman of University War
Council, Miss Dorothy Hird.
Treasurer Election
Tomorrow; File Other
Nominations Thursday
•    ELECTION of the Treasurer  for  next  year's  Student
Council takes place tomorrow in the Auditorium from
10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Arvid Backman and Hugh Hall are the two
candidates for the position.
A Message
From
Lionel Salt
• A MESSAGE to the Greeks:
will representatives of Beta
Theta Pi, Delta Upsilon, Phi Gamma Delta, Phi Kappa Sigma, Sigma Phi Delta, Kappa Theta Rho,
Alpha Gamma Delta, Alpha Phi,
and Kappa Alpha Thete, please
hand in to the Totem office a list
of their active members.
It is essential that these lists
come in immediately.
Also write-ups of year's activities from Phrateres, Pan-Hell, an 1
I.F.C.
Deadlines must be met, and these
lists are needed.
STOP PRESS
• ENGINEERS may get their military camp postponed according to word from Dean Finlayson
last night, provided they obtain employment in one
or the other of the war industries.
What constitutes employment in a war industry, while not definitely stated, will be considered in thc meantime as employment that appears to
be satisfactory to the Minister of Labour on the. advice of the Director of the War Time Bureau of
Technical Personnel.
(Ed. Note:—See Dean's article on page !5 for
further details on conscription of technical men).
Backman and Hall addressed a
poorly attended meeting of the
.student body yesterday, outlining
their platforms for election.
OTHER OFFICES
Nominations for all other offices
on Council must be in to the A.
M.S. office by 5 p.m. this Thursday
stresses Charlie Nash, elections
chairman.
Tho candidates for these remaining seven seats will address the
studnts, prior to election day on
February 11, as follows;
Nominees for the positions of
Men's Undergraduate Society
President will speak Friday, February 13, in Applied Science 100.
Candidates for Women's Undergraduate Society President and
Women's Athletic President will
speak in Aggie 100 at the same
time.
L.S.E. Secretary and Junior
Member candidates will address a
meeting in the Auditorium Monday, February 16, at 12:30.
All elections will be on the preferential   voting system.
Commerce
Engineers
Banquet
Commerce stalwarts bearded the
.Science Editorial Board in the
Pub yesterday and announced that
their next Commerce Club luncheon will be held Thursday, February 12, at 12:30. Mr. N. F. Pul-
len, publicity manager of the B.
C. Telephone Company, will
speak.
Heralded the record lunch of the
year, it will be limited to 100 and
will  cost   fortv   cent.s.
Forumites
Debate
Socialism
• PETER McGREER and Leslie
Carbaret, two of the Parliamentary Forum's freshmen debating finds will represent the University of British Columbia against
the Vancouver Speakers' Club
Wednesday evening at 8 p.m. in
the Brock Hall Stage Room. They
will uphoid the affirmative of the
resolution "That socialism would
aid more in post-war reconstruction than the present system."
Representing the Vancouver
Speakers' Club are Ken McKenzie
and Al Cairnduff.
UES Shows
Logging
Film
• CONTINUING their policy of
showing non-technical films of
general interest to the students,
the University Engineering Society will present next Thursday,
February 19, a technicolor film of
the Weyerhauser Logging Company. This film, available through
the Canadian Forestry Association
and the Fores*try Club, will show
all phases of logging from felling
to milling.
A week later, they will present
actual construction films of the
Golden Gate Bridge between San
Francisco and Oakland. These
films are available through the
courtesy of thc Bethlehem Steel
Company,
Issue, Order of the Day
1. Corsages Banned
2. Tuxes Non-Essential
3. Mystery Awards
# SOMEWHERE IN REDLAND: February 10, 1942:—Bat-
ling against time and overwhelming odds, Comrade Ive
Ma Pantzov, Commissionar of Military Relations and Commanding Officer of the Red Army, arrived on the campus
early this morning with complete strategic plans detailed
for the coming science assault on the Commodore this Thursday, February 12 at 21 hours,
men, nibbling hungrily at the left front tire.
Over the weekend Pantzov con- «^^^—«■-»■•■—^—^^.^^
feared with Commissars Morriski,
Backmanski, and Nashti; attacked
and captured the Publication*
Board, took over the Ubyssey.
Thfc morning, after waging a desperate struggle with the Musical
Society's Yeomen of the Guard,
they annexed the University Auditorium to entertain the citizen's
army of Ersatzmen.
Secret information from the
Commodore sector indicate that
redmen will sport their best girls
. . well girls then . . to the Siberian Stomp well known Russian
Steppe, formerly known as the
Science Ball The enemy have reinforced their walls, rehashed
their chickens a la king, and made
elaborate preparations for the Red
Assault.
Totie
.. struts
Orders of the Day
The following- "Order-of-the-
Day" has been announced by
Comrade Pantzof Commissar of
Relations.
•   •   •   •
Orders of Commissar Ive Ma
Pantzov, S.M.U.S.
Feb. 10, 1942
Moscowkl, USRS.
Part One
I. General Orders for the night
of February 12, 1942.
All comrades make final preparations. The hour Is at hand. The
push begins at 21 hours. If you do
not have the regular tuxedo uniform do not despair. Plain dark
evening suits and suites are also
acceptable. Some of the comrades
will be wearing that uniform.
Each RED must be equipped
with one woman) (no more M
one mutt travel lightly); one bottle of el stuffo; two plugs at El
stuffo; and sixty condensed El
Stuffo pills. Each comrade must
clean his rifle in advance; and
must be equipped with a special
pass (price three bucks on th*
panzer). To obtain these special
passes communicate with Comrades
Graham, Buckland, and Williams
and the other Red Generals on
the SMUS soviet.
2. Special Order of the Day.
Aggskis coming to the brawl —
I mean ball — must clean their
boots. Any Ersatzmen — I mean
ertsmen — coming must show
their   fumigation   certificates.
S.M.U.S. Awards Cooler
For Best Table
• COMPETING openly for a mystery prize awarded for
the most originally decorated table at the Science Ball
at the Commodore on Thursday night (price three bucks on
tho hoof) engineering specialists in the fourth and fifth years
have skipped labs and lectures do devise ingenuous ways
of camouflaging their tables.
The    prize    revealed   Commissar '
Sandy Buckland is cool, tall, and
definitely not a blonde. Thc engineer's union, consisting* of repre-
setatives from SMUS and the UES
asserted late last night that the
second and third years, favoring
an 'open shop' policy will clajh
with the upper years, who favor
the 'closed shop'. The junior red-
shirts have not indicated as yet
how or why they will decorate
their tables.
• Quit    Stalin,
Science  Ball.
Russia    to    the
ADVANCE DOPE
Your co-respondent learned,
however, that Flynn's Forresters
will resurrect the slips of old Paul
Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox,
"boss loggers" of them all. The
electrical under Collins.are going
to turn on the heat with an imported osculateometer (kissanmet-
er?). MacKenzie's civils will strengthen a collapsible bridge. The
mechanicals, headed by Rooney,
will humanize a robot.
The miners, mets, and geologists, under Carlyle, will feature
delicate curves and graphs illustrating quantity and value mining
(gold-diggers wishing to learn
new panning and oreing methods
are invited). The chemicals of Pot-
kins will operate a distillery (under thc table?)
The prize is cool, tall, and definitely not blonde reaffirmed the
Commissar of Enticement. Campbell Williams, this morning.
Musicians
Aid
Kinsmen
• ANSWERING criticisms
that the Musical Society
did little to further the campus' war effort, members of
that organization will go on
the air tomorrow night, Wednesday, for the Kinsmen's
Milk for Britain Fund.
Slated to start at 8:30 p.m. over
CKWX, the program will consist
of selections from the Society's
forthcoming spring production,
"Yeamen of the Guard."
All members of the University
are invited to witness the broadcast down at CKWX in their commodious studio, and it is probable
that a tour of the station will be
arranged  for those  attending.
Although no admission is charged for viewing the broadcast, it
has been customary inthe past, for
the audience to donate one milk
ticket (or its equivalent: 10 cents)
to the Kinsmen's Milk for for Britain Fund.
Science Pep Meet, Today Noon, Five Cents
STATEMENT FOR UBYSSEY
The Registrar wishes to remind the men of the
University that standing will not be granted to any
male student on the work of the session until a statement has been received from the C.O.T.C. certifying
either that he has completed the required military
training or that he has been granted exemption from
such training on medical or other grunds.
It is the responsibility of each man to satisfy
Ihe C.O.T.C. that he has met the regulations in regard
t(» amount of training or to exemption claimed.
CHARLES B. WOOD,
Registrar. Page Two-
THE   UBYSSEY
Rogues Gallery
(Continued)
Finance Czar
Nemo Rides Again
Tuesday, February Id. 194.
. . economizes
KEITH PORTER, treasurer of
the Alma Mater Society and dynamic si tide who saved thc university many dollars the otlier
day when he cotirabeously decreed that for the duration of the
war, .student councillors must forego their annual binge at thc Commodore Cabaret. Nice engineering,
Keith!
rexy
..coaches
TED McBRIDE, retiring AMS
prexy who will spend the rest
of his campus days coaching
prexy-elect Rod Morris. Bearded
yesterday in his office, he denied
reports that UBC would form a
Pacific Coast Inter-university union.
• CLOSER co - operation
between the universities
of Canada has been in the
n;r-t achieved In a small, and
very small degree by two
well lettered organizations
called Ihe N.F.C.U.S. (National federation of Canadian University Students) and
the once prominent C.S.A.
(the Canadian Student Assembly.) During the past
few years these organizations
have been abandoned by the
majority of thinking Canadian University Students. The
only pardonable remnant of
the N.F.C.U.S. is the Canadian University press, (the
C.U.P.)
DKFUNCT C.U.P.
When the C.U.P. was founded
and organized by abitiotis and far-
Mghted university journalists, they
intended it to be a significant milestone in the welding of Canadian
Universities and student opinion
acnjos Canada.
But like most organizations
which are formed by ambitious
idealist-;, the C.U.P. was doomed
to failure. Students across Canada found that their interests and
goals conflicted with those of other
universities and campi. The universities in the west could not
talk tho same language as the universities in the east. Hence, the
C.U.P. degenerated into what it is
now—a ghostly skeleton of an ambitious project—an exchange system through which the newspapers
of the different universities of
Canada arc exchanged.
We at the University of British
Columbia, nominally belong to the
C.U.P. and to the N.F.C.U.S. The
administration of thees organizations, such as it is, remains and
will continue to remain in the east
at such sectional universities as
Toronto, McGill and Queens.
BALANCE] OF POWER
True elections are held annually
to elect the President of these
bodies; but the balance of the voting power is tenaciously held by
the Ontario and Quebec universities. And it is such a short jaunt
by car, phone, or telegraph between these universities that the
western universities of Manitoba,
Saskatchewan, Alberta, and British
Columbia are stymied unless they
get together.
But they*have no way of getting
together to guarantee a solid
western  vote.
Consequently, (he demands and
(lie sane ideas of the wet are
Milieu pieiuaiurelv ii.y ihe Miiitiu-
alislie -iilie.aiity of the. east. In
short, our national unions of university students  are  not   national.
Far-sighted U.B.C. students realizing the weakness of these two
organizations looked to the American universities along the Pacific
Coast in California, Oregon and
Washington to form an inter-collegiate union.
PACIFIC UNION NOW
Such an organization would at
least start on a workable basis, for
tho students of U.B.C. have more
in common and more in sympathy
with the American students than
they have with the students of
eastern Canada. Before the war,
U.B.C. sent debating teams to
Washington, Stanford and Reed
College; U.B.C. competed openly
in ski tournaments, track meets,
and barnstorming basketball tourneys with colleges in the Pacific
North-West. The name of U.B.C,
her highly efficient student administration, her internationally her- •
' aided TOTEM, her debating prowess, her athletic name and fame,
and the high scholastic record is
well   known   and   respected.
Our closest and most intimate
connection with the American colleges, their campi, and their ideas,
is with the University of Washington in Seattle. Now it is rumoured, but effectively denied, that
Washington student administrators
and U.B.C. councillors will confer
in Seattle, and they will exchange
ideas and policies; and perhaps
lay the foundation of a permanent
association of Pacific Coast universities.
If this is fact and not rumor, then
U.B.C. can vision itself, not as an
isolated member of narrow sec-
tionelistic and obsolescent federation of Canadian Universitie students but as an integrated member of an international union of
university students along the Pacific Coast—a union consisting of
peoples with whom they have
everything in common save nationality, a union that will solidly
weld the tacit co-operation among
the Universities of California, Oregon, Washington, a n d British
Columbia.
-ARVID BACKMAN.
The Science Ubyssey
(MEMBER C.U.P.)
issued twice weekly by the Students'  Publication. Board of the Alnvi
Mater Society of the University  of British  Columbia.
Office:  Brock   Memorial   Building—Phono   A I.ma   NilM
Campus   Subscriptions--$1.HO Mail   Subscriptions -$2.00
Science Editorial Board
EDITOIMN-CUIKK
AhVID liACKMAJNI, Forestry   -i;j
SF.MOK KIMTOKS
Rod Morris, Geology  '-fi Sandy Buckland.  Chem  '•13
ASSOCIATE EDITORS
Hoe McRae, Geology  '43 Cam  Williams,  Chem  ''13
CARTOONIST
Bill Angley, Chem  '42
alternating current
• DEAR COMRADSK:  - Today
ve have most unanterastink az-
zoitimant of minor disasters by
sundry poetasters (hell, dey got
me doink it) vich ve pool here
to:;adder   in   ord> r   to   proving   z.tl
.'■cioneomeii  air:
• *    *    *
• R-R-ROMANTIC
ODE TO ANNABEL SNODGRASS
My love for you is stronger than
A   lonely   sourdough's    unwashed
sox,
Eggs mouldering in a garbage can,
Or whiff of fish from far off docks.
• •    •    •
• MARTYR TO CIRCUMSTANCE
SAWDUST
or That Xmas Holiday Job
Day-long upon my back I tote
Brown sacks of sullen, sagging
weight;
O God,  how  I  learned  to hate
Each sharp, persistent, separate
note,
Weaving  its  vicious  way  through
every stitch
That  clothes  my   suffering  frame
from public gaze . . .
A constant craze
Possesses me to squirm and itch,
And in the black of night I wake
and sob:
"Whyever did I take this goddam
job?"
• •   •   •
• TANDER
COMPLAINT FROM  THE REAR
O exam ttime is the most abominable I kin think of
;nd a freshly-mimoetl exam paper
is something I hate the stinck of.
and you, my friend, have you ever
sat
looking  anxiously   at  your   watch
Chop Suey Rides Again
or
Hash Feeds Spud to the Alligators
£ WITH A LURID SCREAMING of tortured brakes and
the tingling odor of burning rubber, the streamlined
pogo-stick zoomed to a shuddering halt before the "No Parking" sign. Cursing softly a bespectacled Scienceman in an
ill-fitting COTC playsuit climbed out into the murky dampness of a Saturday* morning and quickly squashed two Arts-
fevcrlshly In his voluminous play-
suit. Finding a sheet of paper In
his left pant leg he withdrew it and
dipping   his   pen   In   the   Caf   cof
quickly printed thc following ominous words—"We the undersigned
hereby nominate Spud Borris for
president of thc Alligator Society."
Fingering a wingjing and two
sharp waivers, Chop Suey (son of
Chang), disguised as his other
self, Joseph Q. Blotz the Science
hero, awaited the inevitable arrival of Sloppy "You can't park
here" Joe.
As this wierd emissary of Boss
Ben Blink shuffled up and prepared   to   enforce   the   unwritten
law, Blotz flicked the wingjing
and the two waivers into his flabby torso. With a snap of his fingers and a burbling belch Blotz
transformed the wriggling corpse
of Sloppy Joe into a small Air-
dale which quickly ran off in
search of a fire hydrant or reasonable   facsimile  thereof.
Blotz Blitzes Hack J.
audibly    Chop    Suey        and  cranking the Wizpacket fur-
Sneering
(son of Chang), alias Blotz, J. Q.,
marched smartly towards theDept.
of Bookstore, saluting a one-pip
wonder on the way. An innocent
Arstman was standing at the
counter of the clip joint. Hand-
esome Hack Hunter, better known
as  Honest (V)   Hack,  sidled   up.
"Yes, Sir?" he enquired with a
sneering accent  on  the  last  word.
"Gi-gim-gimmefc a p-p-package
of b-b-bug p-paper.s" sttfcimmer-
ed the Artsman in tho simple Lab
dialect.
Quickly handing him ten sheets
of white newsprint with the cryp-
ticnumber 27 on the blue wrapper,
Honest(V) Hack furiously calculated  the  price  on  the Wizpacket.
"That'll be 8!)c, sir —" as he
awaited an indignant out burst.
The simple Artsman made no
*ign  but  drew  forth   a  two-spot.
" - plus a s.drs t.ix of 23c, war
lax of 32c, plus several sundry
taxes too small to mention making u total of $?..00 in all, SIR."
continued Uone.-.U'.'i Hack, lock-
ing  the   two-spot   safely   in   the  till
iously.
Meanwhile Blotz had reached
over and under the grimy counter
and filched a Log Log Vector De-
citrig Polyphase Duplex Mannheim sliderule,
"Yes, sir?" quavered Honest(V)
Hack,' recognizing the Science
hero.
"What'll you give me for this
"hot" stick'.'" asked Blotz calmly
a.; he handed over the L.L.V.D.P.
DM. sliderule.
PeAing cautiously around the
dimly-lighted shop, HonestC?)
Hack   whispered,   "Two-fifty."
"Oh, no you don't, you dirty!?*
t&0"," replied Blotz in his cultured voice, "you can sell it for
twenty skins. Give rue a sawbuck
and  a  fin  and   its yours."
'Sold, snarled Hack handing
over   the   inazuma.
Will little Mary Ashran escape
from the foul clutches of the
unerring villain, Chop Suey (son
of Cluing)? Will Ed Mrllrlde gel
n pass to the Science Ball? Read
or., stup.d, and try and find out.
Spuds  for  the   Alligators)
Carefully folding thc sheet into
passed it under the table where
the form of a swastika, Blotz
it was snatched by Barley Hash,
searching for clues for the "case
of the broken coke bottle." Grasping the paper in his teeth, Hash
dashed off to a certain Room deep
in Science territory. Opening the
door, he heard the following conversation —
"and  raise  you  five."
"Okay, I'll see you whatcha
got?"
"Full house, three queens find
— hey, cover it, boys. Somebody's
coming in. Oh hell, it's only Hash.
Hi,   Hash."'
""Hello, fellows, Here sign this,"
purred Hash, throwing the swastika-folded   paper   on   the   table.
"What the hell does it say," asked tile man with the cards, slipping four aces and the joker up
his sleeve while the others gwak-
ed  at   the  paper.
"Damn it all, Hash, why should
we nominate Spud Borris. He's so
short he needs a ladder to get out
of the gutter after every Science
Ball," muttered Schwarz Knabe,
the card shark, "and besides we're
btusy."
"You'd better sign or—" purred
Hash, suggestively polishing the
tin Dick Tracy badge given him
by Bus.'! Ben Blink for solving the
Hash Aids Spud
"Case  of   the  Scratched  Piano."
"Okay, we'll sign. After all,
Borris won a T.K.O. over Kernel
Krum right in Boss Ben Blink's
office."
Meanwhile Blotz had captured
a COTC Sergeant—Major by the
simple process of drugging it with
El Stuffo in the Caf. Hiding it
in the seat of his COTC playsuit,
Blotz whipped over to the Library
and lifted the manhole cover of
tho cesspool. Jumping in, he
quickly made his way along the
slimy passage to the underground
lair of Chop Suey (son of Chang),
far below the Power House. Snapping on the powerful Neon lights,'
he walked over to the far wall
and examined the six Artsmen
drooling happily over their yo-yo's
as they clung to the bars of their
cages.
Quickly removing his disguise
and tho COTC Sergeant-Major,
Suey donned rubber gloves and
gas mask and entered one of the
cages. Eluding his grasp, the
frightened Artsman scurried away
and witll a gurgling drool tried to
bury itself in a pile of dead leaves
in the corner. With a quick motion, duly seconded and piissed
by the Alligator Society, Suey
pinned the terrified thing's flapping ears to the ground with two
well-aimed   wing-jings.
Motion Arrested
to
Enter Spud Borris
Entering the Caf, Blotz strolled
up to the Bazooks table. Four
Art.smen and an Aggie were
»|ir,iwled around the table on tor-
turoir- Caf chairs, all noisily guarding Hank OnderpaH's blue plate
.special.
Holding his nose, and waving an
old Ubyssey to protect himself
IV'im spray. Blmt/ equally enquired   ■•■■     Are  you   fellows going
eat that stuff or have you fll-
uly eaten it"" The Aggie tin-
■diately      turned      purple      and
tuiekly departed. For fully a  mill -
Quickly dragging it out of the
cage, Suey carried it, over to a
pile of l*ib apparatus and with a
quick application of Chem. 13.
l\,y<li. 4, Pie-Med. 27, and Plumbing ID rapidly molded the indifferent mass of features into a remarkable replica of tin.1 childish
face of the COTC Sergeant-Major.
Suey poured it into tho uniform
of the SorgetuU-Major and tossed
the   latter   into   tile   empty   cage.
ute the Artsmen continued to guz
/le noisily; then the awful significance of Blotz's words sank in.
Turning green they hastily departed for elsewhere.
Nonchalantly pretending to drink
a  cup of Caf rof,  Blotz  searched
-   sv Suddenly   pulling   a    hung   chain.
Chop Suey (son of Chang» effectively disposed erf tho remaining
Artsmen and the ex-Sergeaut-
Major with a loud flushing noise.
Stifling its startled cries as it
gazed    on    the    brainless    Aggies
slithering along the floor and the
addled Frosh hanging from the
ceiling, Suey carried the trans
formed Artsman back along the
eerie winding passage to the Library. Releasing the senseless thing
in time for the Saturday afternoon wanderings of Jaliez' organized sick parade, Chop Suey (son
of Chang', smirking at the thought
of his day's misdeeds, quickly
turned himself into a seagull and
waited  for  the COTC  to  fall  in.
Will Chop Suey (son of Changi
Kumxed in hi* fowl intentions?
Will Spud Borris be elected? Read
last Friday's Ubyssey and find
out, stupid.
• Odessa be a wonderful Ball.
for   hours  and   hours  and   hour
with one end of you vainly Irvine
to   think
while  ihe other end is being mad''
painfully   flat
like   1 ri ..seel   flower;,?
at   exam   time   professor.,  complain
that student.-,  forget
all  they  ever taught em.
but I submit that topside efficiency
cannot   exist
contemporaneously with a distressed  baughtem.
and on each man of SCIENCE
soon  or   late
dawns  the  significance of   that
"term   undergraduate"
for until you are calloused sufficiently  upon the  ischials
it seems that they consider your
education incomplete and superficial.
and in exams, no matter how you
wriggle and twist
and sit halfway back  upon your
spine  and squirm
the  malignantly  persists
in staying hard and firm
as if to say "Aw nutz!?"
to tortured buttz.
so back into your seat you sink,
love.
o, exam time is the most abominable thing I can think of.
•   •   •   •
• CHEERFUL IN SPITE
OF AVERYTHEENG
THE MEN IN RED
We took a course in science
To learn to Engineer
But all we know is cusswords
And how to drink our beer,
And now we don't drink water,
And we hate to go to bed
We are the men in Science
We're the red hot men in red.
We spent long years in Chem Lab
We never worked at all,
Untill they quit supplying
That side-site If alcohol,
They stuffed our heads with civil
But each day we get more crude
We are the men of Science,
The crudest of the rude.
They make us buy a slide-hule,
And T-square six feet long,
They  bounce us out at Christmas,
And we sell them for a song,
No caution money refund,
We get a bill instead,
We are the men of Science
And we're always in the Red.
Nowspikking of being in de red.
have you yet got your ticket to
ze Siberian stomp, Szience Ball,
comradsk?
• V.U.C.—The Thursday Discussion Topic will be "What of
tho Miracles." The Friday outsida
speaker will be Mr. McDormand,
secretary for the Baptist Young
Peop'e of Western Canada. Visitors to these meetings will bo
welcome.
.CTCUVy sfyed far above fatigues
With Picobac to charm his endless Ic(»k*#».
• Students also must cover much ground —
academic if not terrestrial. In their arduous
journeys through the realms of learning, they
find that Picobac gives them "winged feet of
thought". For the pick of Canada's Burley
crop is always a mild, cool, sweet smoke — a
vaae mecum incomparably satisfying and financially undemanding.
rlANtiy ^AL-TIGHT POUCH      -    15c
^-LB. "LOK-TOP" TIN   -   65c
^^^        also packed in  Pocket Tins
Picobac
"It DOES taste good in a pipe!"
psJr=Jr=Jr^r=^r==Jr=jr=Jr=]i^i=iJ
She:   "Ls  my   face  dirty   or  is  it
my   imagination?"
He: "Your face is clean; I don't
know  about your  imagination?"
She: "There are a lot of couples
that don't pet in parked cars."
He: "Yes, the woods arc full of
them."
Fraternity and Sorority
Printing and Engraving
Our Speciatly
DANCE PROGRAMMES
INVITATIONS,  'AT HOME'
LETTERHEADS  and
CHRISTMAS CARDS
•
GEHRKE'S
566 Seymour St,
THE NEAREST BANK
IS
The Canadian
BANK OF
COMMERCE
I0th and Sasamat Braach
BANKERS TO THE
ALMA MATER
SOCIETY
C. R. Myers, Manager
UNIVERSITY BOOK STORE
Hrs.: 9 a.m. to S p.m.; Saturdays 9 a.m. to noon
LOOSE LEAF NOTE BOOKS, EXERCISE BOOKS AND
SCRIBBLERS
AT REDUCED PRICES
Graphic Engineering Paper, Biology  Paper
Loose Leaf Refills, Fountain Pens and Ink
and Drawing Instruments
< - Special Scud
CAPITOL   -   ORPHEUM   .
By Presentation Of
Walter Pidgeon,
Maureen O'Hara
in Richard Llewellyn's
"HOW GREEN WAS
MY VALLEY"
CAPITOL
lent Rate at * *
STRAND   -   DOMINION
Your Student Pass
Madeleine Carroll and
Sterling Hayden in
BAHAMA    PASSAGE"
also
'Blue, White and Perfect"
ORPHEUM
"LOUISIANA
PURCHASE"
with
Boh Hope, Vera Zoiina
plus "Pacific Blackout"
STRAND
"THEY DIED WITH
THEIR BOOTS ON"
with
Errol Flynn and
Olivia De Havilland
DOMINION
You trust its quality
You sense in ice-cold "Coca-Cola" a thing that is
good—-a pure, wholesome drink with the quality of
genuine goodness. "Coca-Cola" delights your taste,
gratifies your thirst and leaves you happily refreshed.
THE   COCA-COLA   COMPANY  OF  CANADA,  LIM1TF.D
Vancouver, B. C. Tuesday, February 10, 1942
Rogues Gallery
(Continued)
THE   UBYSSEY
Page Three
Conscription Of Technical Men Essential
by Dean Finlayson
PI
ease<
• AS I SIT down to write a few lines for
tin* Science Ubyssey, despatches from
Ottawa intimate that new plans for mobilization under the proposed "selective" system
wilt relate to technical, scientific and profes-
•L-,.i
l.o   ordinary
Wl
th  th
e news
J. \. KIXLAYSON. IHv.n of Uie
Faculty of Applied Science and
Head of (be Civil Engineering Department foresees n constant and
persistent demand for trained engineering graduates. Industrial demands for technical men lie intimated in a recent interview are
steadily   increasing.
army   m.m
power. cumulations will soon be released by
this placement bureau, whose full name is
"Wartime Bureau of Technical Personnel."
As all. sciencemen are vitally interested in
these regulations, and are constantly inquiring about the students' duty in wartime, it
occurs to me that I cannot use the space allotted to me more profitably than by relating
to the readers of the Ubyssey some of the
efforts that are being exerted to ensure an
adequate supply of technically trained men
for the special duties connected with this
war of machines.
On September Kith, UWy, within a week
after the outbreak of hostilities. Major General A. G. L. McNaughton sent a letter to
the presidents of twenty Canadian universities and colleges pointing out that students
pursuing university courses in the holds of
pure and applied science, including medicine,   dentistry   and   agriculture,   will   serve
I I.,.;,.    ,..,,,.,I ....     ...     ,)...     ......   .     v;;!;;;;';-;]-.     ■ ,■ •;, y    ],y
graduation, and that specially able .''-Indents
should be encouraged to coutimie their
.'■Indies in post-graduate courses in all
branches oi science especially along lines
required to meet national requirements as
they develop.
He stated that, under the conditions of
modern warfare both in the military forces
and in essential civil industries, there would
be a very large and increasing need for a
steady supply of fully trained men in all
branches of science, and he expressed the
hope that until particular requirements
could be indicated changes in the ordinary
curricula would be restricted to a minimum.
. In October, 1939 the Minister of Nation
al Defence, the Honourable N. McL. Rogers,
published an announcement that the Department of National Defence had placed re.-fric-
1 iritis on the enlistment  of certain cl.rse--, uf
workers   who   wotdd   be   required   in   iars'i
 i ... i.      ...        , .. ■ •■   i , i   ■
i . ! t i i i i "    i . i       ,'•!        Ills       |ll Id I.ULl"ll       i ' I       I.  ... 'sr.i
i '' " ■ ' ■ .        !    -   , j ' ■ i       ' ■
and other indusi rial supplies. 'I.'lu.-.-.e n -Mictions would apply to men who are ski lied
m particular trades or crafts or wha have
other qualifications such as university train
ing in medicine, engineering, agriculture and
other sciences that can be used to advantage
in the national interest.
The Wartime Bureau of Technical Personnel was set up by the Minister of Labour
to coordinate the .supply of technically
trained persons with the demands of government and war industry. Its advisory board
includes representatives of the Engineering
Institute of Canada, the Canadian Institute
of Mining and Metallurgy, the Chemical Institute   of   Canada,   the   Technical   Service
Council, the universities, and manufacturers
Anticipating   shortages   in   ihe   supplies
,dvno:      '
certain  key  men flic
i  i i
Uial e
IT!'
to     '
1    to
i i >It.'.
heard
U        IT,
ring
iiur.-aries   \
(Ii'llls elite
courses th;
war   cliort.
i"   pi-i
ig   tin
have
a c h   ;
i u -
up
ided   to  cpeoura'
university   to   \:
delimit' bearing  on   the
engineering,   medi'-ino
and dentistry.
The Bureau is concerned now in obtaining profitable summer employment for all
undergraduates in engineering and science.
All Applied Science students are asked to
(ill in questionnaire forms immediately.
The principal, companies normally employing students during the summer months
and all the war industries are being urged
to take special care this year to advance the
professional training of engineering students
as  much   as   possible.    From  the   complete
Camp is Crier
A sinister is an old maid.
A spinster  Ls a  bachelor's wife.
A flociallst is a man who goes to
parties all the time.
»   •   •   »
There   was   a   young   tiling   from
Madras
Who had a most beautiful ass
Now you'd probably think,
It was pretty and pink —
But it was brown, and had ears,
and ate grass.
.    •    »    •
"We'll   have   to  rehearse   this",
■aid the undertaker as the coffin
fell onto the street.
• •   •   •
Maybe Engineers didn't invent
the French Curves, but were willing to bet that they've done a lot
of work on them.
• «   •   •
Then there was the girl who
had to get married because her
slip  waa   showing.
• «   •   *
If every boy in this country
could read every girl's mind, the
gasoline consumption  would  drop
off fifty percent.
• »   •   •
Some   girls  are   like   cigarettes:
they come in a pack, get lit, hang
an to your lips;  make you  puff;
go out unexpectedly; leave a bad
taste in your mouth; and still they
satisfy.
.   .   «   •
•   CAMERA   CLUB:   -   General
meeting in Arts  108. Thursday at
12:30. All out.
•  Trot.ski    with    BloLski    to    the
Science   Hall.
'Nother Poem
i
El  Stuffo is  the  quaintest stuff,
You never know  when you've
enough;
Some get morose,
And   others  gruff.
And there are those who grow
too bold,
And fail to stop when they are
told
They've   gone   too   far.
That talo is old.
But Science never fails this way;
You hear them to each other say,
Some brew, eh? Hie.
Tis boys at play.
I
I doubt if you have ever heard
One dark disreputable word
About the  boys—
"Twould  be absurd.
For Science drinks the lethal stuff
Because it makes them strong
and tough,
Fit for the red
That  drapes their scruff.
But to all others I would say,
Don't touch Uie dope; stay far
away,
For if you don't
You've  hell  to pay.
Not knowing how to integrate,
Or better yet, to calculate
Loke Science does;
Gosh what a fate.
You'd surely have to be a wizard
Not to receive the just reward
Of soul immoral,
And  burned  out  gizzard.
—Melvln Julson,
Science '44.
Shopping
. . . With Mary Ann
• IF THINGS in this column are
not what they usually are it's
through no fault of mine. The
Sciencemen are taking it over this
issue. And talking of taking . . .
one tall lanky cynical redshixt
asked a campus cutie to prance
with him at the Science Ball (the
biggest event in any girl's dream
life) and then he found out later
that he had asked a grad to go
with him way back at New Year's
.  imagine the Sciencemen tell-
• *
• GABERDINE is thc fashionable
thiny   in  shoes  for spring  this
year. Rae-son's, 608 Granville St..
are showing gaberdines on the
Clever Floor for $5.95. They come
in high, cuban and walking heels.
. . . well those two redmen who
went to tlie Aggie barn dance the
other night came out high and
going home, short said to tall
"Where   are   we,   oh   whtere   are
* *
• OF COURSK  Sciencemen don't
wear any   kind of sweaters but
iwl ones but in case en. cum- of
U'cr said Spud Borris the other
day ■■- when I die make mine a
•hurt otie> but .should anyone else
read this. Straith's, 905 Georgia
St , have some awfully smart, ones
for men Lamb's wool. Cashmere
and Shetland sweaters w.th iaglan
shoulder.'; .aid crew or V-neck . .
We heard the other day that one
of those Knat/iiien i Artsmen'11 is
giving a prominent forensic red-
nhirt «i ehallenr.v to a fight this
week Ihe   illghl    lieliu'e   the   Sci-
■M       *
• THF EARLY  BIRD catches Uie
worm . . . and it's the fastest
H,rt that cat elms her engineer for
tile Science Ball . . . and that goes
for planning your spring outfit,
too An Krsit/inan went on a bust
the oilier day -■ well that's his
ehoice . . hut our choice Ls the
Rose Marie Dress Shop, 2186 West
41st    Avenu<v    where    there    is    a
ing about the beautiful hosiery
that he can get for you in B. M.
Clark's, 2517 Granville St. . . well
anyway, we never knew a Red-
shirt that could take his women
straight — maybe this one will
learn "One at a time is best" . .
Lest you forget, B. M. Clark's
have semi-service at 79 cents to
$1.33, chiffon at $1.00 and $1.15
(they're  pure  silk)  and Supersilk
at  $1.25.
* *
we?" . . . Crushed kid and softie
calf skin are also smart especially
in blonde and brown. Pick Dut
your new shoes to go with your
new spring outfit at Rae-son's . .
Girls if you haven't received your
bid to the Science Ball yet, pick
out your man, but be sure he
won't be dozing on the night of
the Ball -■■ At any rate, Ole Olson's
dozen men  won't be.
once Ball, too — poor man . . .
And of course, they stock all kinds
of gifts for the forces, so men, if
you are planning to join up, give
your girl friend a ring, (that will
hold 1r r till you get back) or giv
her a bait as to what you'd like
when you go away and »'he can
got   it   at   Straith's.
Said Tiny to his sidostiek the
other day. "We've got to have a
flour show at the Hall. What can
we  pick   up at  the Bi'iifon'.'"
SAKS prcyv imtdil.vi. 'Title
Icnt.v."
* *
beautiful .selection of British
Tweed Suits. Some have cheeked
or plaid jackets and plain .skirLs
. Yes then there was the Aggie
who was checked while he plavc 1
at the Aggio Barn Dance . . .
are made of the same material in
both jacket and skirt. They also
have plain tailored suits with the
shorter   lapel.
"Swing into Spring" with the jauntiest collection of jackets, shirts, sweaters and skirts in Vancouver. Our
new long-sleeved shirt is a honey,
our Helen Harper Sweaters have the
same originality while our skirts and
jackets claim all that is to be desired
in fit and good tailoring.
Jackets 16.98 to 18.95
shirts 2.95 and up
Sweaters 1.95 and up
ski|,t*   3.98 and 4.98
v)
/ W///I
SjKii'tsir
Spencer
Ffl.sJiiori
Flour.
ear,
*&±
A*ffimm
/ C .' / * v yV: 'tit'- li
,.- '*4v?i
V>3
/',
V*
/,
*•__'      ^^.V-A^f-f^W/wi^r
vC~'-V*-"' ■ c-t*   v -J-TW Page Four-
THE    UBYSSEY
Tuesday, February 19, 1942
Snappy Students Smear  Stacy's  Scientifically
Tommy Syme Most
Famed Scienceman
• THE SCIENCE FACULTY has produced many of
U.B.C.'s most outstanding athletes and none has brought
more fame to this campus than Tommy Syme, the stocky
red menace of the squared stage. Syme's most recent achievement was his feat of winning the Pacific Notrh West Golden
Gloves boxing tournament in Seattle last month.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Born in Scotland nineteen years
Rogues Gallery
(Continued)
Pugnacious
. Engineer
ago, Tommy came to Vancouver
at a tender age and has been
fighting for the last seven years
In Vancouver. Syme first donned
the gloves for the Meraloma club
under Tommy Gann at the age of
thirteen. In 1936 and 1937 he won
the Vancouver city title, defeating Kenny Lindsay in the 1936
finals.
Entering U.B.C. in 1939, Syme
fought under the colors of Varsity's boxing club for the first time
in the Army Boxing tournament
last year. He lost in the finals of
the soldier scraps to Sailor Madden, the victim of a weird decision.
Tommy has an impressive record
to show for his seven years in the
ring. In 68 fights he has lost only
seven decisions and has never
been knocked out. Of these bouts,
Sym has won 57 and drawn four.
Questioned as to whether he will
fight professionally, Syme stated
definitely that he will make Engineering his profession upon
graduation. Although Syme is rated better than a number of pro
scrappers, he regards boxing secondary to his education and will
not travel to the Golden Gloves
finals if they interfere with his
academic pursuits.
• Truckorv     at     the     Siberian
Stomp.
SILVER SALVAGE
• PLACED  at   prominent   points
on the campus, colorful receptacles serve as a reminder to
students to salvage all silver paper.
Studnts are urged to co-operate
with the Red Cross in this manner,
and deposit wrappings from cigarettes and chocolate bars in these
baskets.
HAIL ARTS
Chuck McNeely tells a tale
Arts sweaters are still on sale
$4.40 each; the styles are new
In the Brock they're sketched for you.
See Mr. Horn by Monday next
Sales close then . . .this is Chuck's text
<KD. NOTh: In .-.hort, the last chance for Krs.r/.mcn
to order one of the new nifty Arts sweaters is Morulas', February 16. For further propaganda set* Charles "Chuck"
McNeely. i
• FOREST CLUB: - H. Baxter,
consulting forest engineer will
speak on commercial timber cruising    today    at    12:35    in    Applied
Science  235.
«    «    •    «
^HYIU-OWS, a combined dinner
and smoker will be held at
Point Grey Golf Club, 7 p.m., Friday, February 13. One hour of
variety entertainment. Admission
by membership card only. 50 cents
will be charged to defray part of
cost.
• MOTOROLA WIRELESS Pickup for sale. Plays reeods through
the radio without any attachment.
American model, not on .sale in
Canada, it i.s in jlood .shape. Going
for .sixteen bucks. Come down to
the Pub for a demonstration.
• D. U. Pin lost Thursday somewhere on campus. If you find
it, please return it to A.M.S. office as owner needs it for Science
Ball.
Soccermen Play Wednesday
Tackle Woodward Eleven
Last Minute Rally
By Ryan, Kermode
Stop Stacys 47-41
•    MAKING A VALIANT bid to remain in the race for th»
playoffs,   Varsity   Thunderbirds   outhustled   the  Stacy
Shoemen to gain a thrilling 47-41 overtime win at the V.A.C.
gym on Saturday night.
The students will play their last game of the seaaoa
next Saturday when the Victoria Dominoes meet the Blue
and Gold again at the V.A.C. gym. If Varsity can take this
contest they will,gain undisputed possession of third place
in the league and the right to meet the winner of the Shore-
Tooke game.
Roach Returns
• VARSITY'S SECOND place soccer team have undergone a rebuilding and a revamping recently and the new
squad to emerge hopes to prove that the rebuilding has been
for the best Wednesday when they tackle Woodwards.
Losing   tWO   of   their   most   Valu- —mmm^^^mmm^^^i^—mmm—~*^m
able players, Tootie Todd and Dave
Thompson, the student roundbal-
lers figured they'd be greatly
weakened.
But now comes the happy word
that two steady veterans of the
team are returning. Stu Roach and
Denny Leong are the two regulars
• Dance the Russian Steppes, the
Waltiofi  and fox trotski.
who are  making the comeback.
The Varsity squad have been
ruted in the second slot in the
Wednesday league for so long now
that they are determined to fight
their way out of if.
In first place are the City Police.
The students in their last two battles with the Cops cither tied or
lost the game on hard breaks. Next
time the two squads tangle it may
prove to be an upset and one of
the best games of the season.
Acording to soccer manager, McCarthy, the rebuilt team is in a
way an experimental eleven.
Whether the new squad will click
or not will be seen this Wednesday
when they clash with the Woodward men.
FRAT - SPOTS
• THE Interfraternity interest rouser of the
month is the Cross Country
Track meet set for February
19. More enthusiasm has
greeted this Greek contest
than any other tilt of the
year.
Kach Fiat,Tinty will enter a five
man psan to compete in the event.
Two spares are also allowed in case
of accidents in the 2.G mile run.
Officials taking care of the race
are Maury Van Vliet and Interfrat organizer Stu Madden. Madden i.s also running in the Cross
Country Contest, and i.s rated as
one of the hopefuls as far as a
win  i.s  concerned.
Workouts arc being held regularly at the Stadium Track and
also on the course itself. Noticed
running the course already were
.such stalwarts as Doug, "the D.
U." Lee, Bob Davidson and Ted
Scott.
Last Friday noon at the campus
gym Uie Sigma Phi Delts lost to
tho Plil Gamma Delta fraternity
In one of the most closely contested battles ever to be waged In
inter-frnt   basketball.
Although they lost by a score of
.').' to '.'., the losers displnjed a maximum of skill, lechni(|lie, ami general knowledge of ball handling.
The Fiji success was owed to the
outstanding blocker, "Horizontal"
Gorman and his ball-carrying colleague, "Ugly (ins" C'armichael—
a fact which could not have ..voided being apparent to' even the
most  uninterested  of  spectators,
"Blare" Anderson, the loudest
and brightest member of the aggregation, sparked his team mates
to the decisive — but, unfortun-
ntcly, somewhat ill-gained victory
over thc Sigma Phi boys who, as
the saying goes, "wuz robbed."
e Come and hang out your Lenin
on the Science line.
THIS WEEK'S INTERFRATERNITY
BASKETBALL SCHEDULE
Tues. Feb. 10 7:30 Phi Kappa Pi vs. Phi Delta Theta
Tues. Feb. 10 8:15 Phi Kappa Sigma vs. Psi Upsilon
Tues. Feb. 10 9:00 Kappa Sigma vs. Zeta Psi
Wed. Feb. 11 noon Alpha Delta vs. Phi Kappa Pi
Fri. Feb. 13 noon Beta Theta Pi vs. Phi Kappa Sigma
• Ukraine  go   to  the  Ball  for  3
buckski.
Narod
Plans Softball Loop
% FORMATION OF an interfaculty Softball loop was planned yesterday by Al Narod, lanky redshirt sports rep
on the SMUS Council. At present games have only been
scheduled between Aggie '44 and Science '44, and between
Aggie '43 and Science '43, but Narod plans to extend the
entire league to cover the entire University.
"With all classes in all faculties .^^^^——■•••.•■■■»^—■■■■««•■■.
competing," said he, "there is a
possibility that interfaculty sport
will revive. With the coming of
spring, there is no reason why
the different faculties cannot organize   teams   to   compete."
RI'.I)  LINKUP
A.s vol the plans are tentative.
Towards the end of the season
when the cla.-.s chanipion.shi|is have
beep determined, it i.s likely that
■ ' four- vi| iv lonji comprising of
I'cience, Ag^ie, Commerce, and
Ails   Usims,   will   compete   for   the
interfaculty championships. Probable lineup for the Redmen will
be Howie Bennett, Bob Farmer,
Lyle Gatenby, Don Carlyle, Mack
Buck, Tiny MacRac, Evan apRob-
ert.s  and  Joe  Blotz.
Ragged Bill Backman, lanky
president of UES, stated that the
UKS would donate a cup for open
competition if enough interest was
shown in the intei faculty loop.
Other faculty .sports reps are asked to get in touch with Narod if
they   wish   to   compote.
Sports A Year
Ago Today
• BIGGEST NEWS in the Science
Issue a year ago today waa the
defeat of the Varsity Thunderbirds
by the Maple Leafs 54-47. The loss
for the campus cagers meant they
would lose the playoff bye.
Next game for the students is
set for this Wednesday night when
they tackle the Angelus five in a
sudden death game which will decide who's to go into the playoffs
first.
• •   •   •
• IN   THE   INTERNATIONAL
campus Ski meet fought out on
the snowy slopes of Grouse mountain, the College of Puget Sound
defeated the U.B.C. team by a
margin of eight points.
Bill Taylor was the mar for the
southern College, winning three
events.
* •   *   *
• ANOTHER ITEM of interest in
which Sciencemen figured was
the 9-5 win of the Victorian Reps
over the Collegian3 in a McKechnie Cup game Saturday on the
Stadium.
Mack Buck, Tucker and Shep-
ard were outstanding for the losers.
Sciencemen were scheduled a
year ago today to tangle with an
Arts team in the Inter-Mural
Sports setup.
Blood was predicted to flow
freely and the Redshirts rated for
a win.
Basket  Bull
BY CHUCK CLARIDGE
• ART  JOHNSON   had   a   bit  of
toirsh luck durini; the game 0:1
Saturday night. Art. last two of
his front teeth in a mix-up undei
one of the hoops with Paddy Wes-
cott. No one was to blame for the
accident but it will give you an
idea of how rough the game can
get at times.
• ♦   •    *
• MARRY   FRANKLIN   sat   out
the  game  on  the  bench  when
a bad cold and throat kept him
from stripping. He had been in
bed Thursday and Friday and had
to be exempted from drill on Saturday.
•   •   •   •
• DON  Sutton  and   Eileen  Mc-
Kiiiop led the fair-sized Varsity
crowd in cheering at the gym. It
was pleasing to see such a good
crowd out after the dismal support
at some of the games recently, and
the  cheer  leading  gave  the  team
good  moral support.
• «   •   •
• BOTH TEAMS played fast
hard-driving basketball mailing the game one of the best seen
here this .season. It was the brand
of basketball that marks thc playoff contests when both teams have
that do-or-dic attitude.
• •   •   «
• THE BIRD'S RECORD at thc
free throw line was terrible again
on Saturday night when 16 shots
failed to enter the hoop. If a fair
percentage of these had been good
the game would have been decided without the overtime.
LE CERCLE FRANCAIS will
meet Tuesday, February 10, atmOO
p.m. in the stage Room of Brock
Hall. Miss Harris of the Modern
Language Department will speak
on  "Les Enfants Francais.*
ONE BLUE PURSE with gold
zipper   lost  on   way   to  Varsity  on
At the present they are tied with
Stacy's with two wins apiece but
the Shoemen have finished their
season. Should the students lose
to Victoria, they will have to play
a sudden death game with Stacy's
for the right to enter the Intercity playdowns.
LAWN LUCKY
On Saturday night at Bob
Brown's gym Stacy's and the Varsity quintet battled for the lead
throughout the entire  game with
J
oe
High Scorer
only four points separating them
at the most. Ken Lawn kept the
shoemen In the fight with some
spectacular one-handed long shots,
sinking  three  successive  ones   in
the first quarter.
The lead shuttled ta* and
forth until one minute of the gam*
was left. Stacy's were in Croat by
two points. Then Art Bartoa, who
had managed to miss the buk«t
completely all night came Ifcrouga
with his only markers of Hie evening to ahove the game lata ever-
tune.
At thc start of the extra tfawioa,
Joe Ryan took the ball on a breakaway to put the Birds out im front.
But Alec Lucas soon got that on*
back to tie the count agate at 41
all. Then Al Dean and Art ffohn-
son combined to put the gaam oa
ice with Al dropping in tara tevely
one-hander* to »ne by Art.
RYAN TOP MAN
Joe Ryan was the oparartaf of
the team as he jacked «p • total
of '7 points to top the erorara oa
both teams. This waa the Uggest
night that little Joe he* had ia
the Thunderbird lineup am his
three years with the equad.
Al Dean and Art Johnflea both
turned in brilliant perforaaances,
as they each picked up eight points
and led the Birds on the attack.
A disappointment to • tat of
the fans was Art Bartoara Mlura
to bulge the hemp but oace. Art
was missing the basket coaapteta-
ly until his lone basket Hed up
the game late in the fourth ojaarter.
LINE-UP
Lineup used by Vandw waa as
follows: Franklin, Bartoa, /alien,
Ryan, Dean, Hay, Sullf. afcttl-
shaw, Kermode.
Peekaboo Personalities
• JACK TUCKER: Tho Blond Tiger. Plays football, rugby,
and blondes, brunettes, and redheads.   Good on an open
field, but belter in a closed boudoir. A miner who does most
of his dicing at the Alee.
• EVAN   ap ROIBERTS:   Ex-footballer,   councillor,   and
ex-heller.   Also  a miner,  he now stays  at  home  with
wifey awaiting a 'minor".
• JIMMY SCOTT: A one time basketball star who gave
up the game to have more time for classes, Mr. Murrin's taxi
service, and the Gamma Phi's.
• STU "ROCHESTER" ROACH: First rate roundballer,
but a far better highballer.   Has an infinite capacity.
Marked preference for brunettes (Dotty), rye rum, scotch,
Dotty, gin beer, ale, Dotty, champagne, vodka, and Dotty.
• EDDIE BENSON: A hockey goalie who excels at stopping shots.   Makes excellent passes himself, especially
when he's on ice. Would say more, but Marj is now in town,
and it would be a dirty trick.
• CAMPBELL WILLIAMS: The "10 second papoose" from
Nanoose.  Fast on the track, it's slow compared to measured time of 9.6 with Sheila.
• BINKS DRUMMOND: Another one of these confident- '
ibus engineers who has given up his football career lor
mining, bridge and the* Gamma Phi's. This one is Audref.
• MACK BUCK: A fine stalwart, upright young man who
leads a clean conscientious life.   Is deeply beloved by
his family and his mother.
(Ed. Note:—That's what he says, but we hear he plays
with the scrum at rugby and the scum at the Embassy. He
knows how to work with figures — but she knows all the
mathematical combinations, too.)
• JACK MacARTHUR: Called "Subtle John by those who
should know—better, is being accused by frat brothers
of owning the brassiere that landed in the middle of the
floor at the Formal last Friday nite. A perfect fit, so they say.
Monday
papers,  i
morning   .
tc.   Phone
BA.
important
9671Y.
00/0"
Your   Varsity   Pass   Entitle* You  to  a  Special
Rate   at   the   Following
Theatres
(Except Saturdays and Holidays)
Laurence Olivier and Raymond
Masscy in
"49th PARALLEL"
with Leslie Howard and
Anton Walbrook
VOGUE
DINE
AND DANCE
AT
HOTEL VANCOUVER
„ Olivia. ,oan
..REBECCA
plus ..
Uist Outl**l
fell
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MMttnaumaui ^...„.'i....» _'.._ .,
••Tin'
*° ' •'"  for EH,
viifen"
''Wi(4IPll5
W

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