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The Ubyssey Feb 14, 1961

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 THE UBYSSEY
Vof. XLIV.
VANCOUVER, B.C., TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 1961
No 50
Middle East threatened
Ambassador  Herzog
tells of problems
By COLEMAN ROMALIS
^  The Israeli Ambassador to Canada Friday described: Suppression by the great power blocs, the intra-Arab crisis, and
the Israel-Arab struggle, as the three greatest threats to stability in the Middle East.
BOB NOBLE, President of EUS and Dean Meyers hold Marathon
the ParUomentfBuildings in Victoria to start off the Engineer's
decries
apathy towards art
The "beat-brutalist" approach to the arts is the only one
which will arouse people from j'their apathy toward the arts,
a city architect claimed ai a, UBC symposium Friday.
"■'Artists have begun to create
ugly objects to remind people
/that they are there at alt," Arthur Erickson told the panel of
five. "I find the whole subject
very depressing.
' "We live in a mechanistic and.
^pragmatic society, but, the arts,
^are a human activity, arid as we
^grow less human the arts will
xKe;*'" ''■
•FESTIVALS' NECESSARY
t Erickson said the^ arts have
.ifalien to such a state the "festivals" are necessary to bring
culture to the public mind.
Erickson spoke at a Friday
noon hour symposium discussing
the future of the Arts. It was
the final event of Arts Week.
Other members of the panel
were: Prof. Anthony Emery of
Victoria College; interpretive
' dancer Ann Halprin, peet and
film maker James Broughton;
Pulitzer prize winning poet De-
Witt Snodgrass; and UBC music
department head Dr. G. W. Marquis.
VIEWS OPPOSED
Mrs. Halprin and Broughton
emerged as spirited opponents
of Efickson's views, arguing that
the process of artistic movement was in itself more important than the immediate products.
Dr. Marquis agreed that artists were "too close to what they
were doing to call it good or
bad," and Mrs. Halprin said that
she felt the times we were nvhjig
,  in were "fascinating and excit-
: ingr not depressing."
M   In general the panel agreed;
that although none of them were
sure exactly what path the arts
were presently following, and
that this was far less important
than the processes involved in
I perfecting the evolving new art
ftirms.
• Broughton commented that he
did not worry about direction.
as this came about automatically.
"I don't care where Tp\ going,'"
he said, and Dr. Marquis added
that "composers simply go
places" without a conscious
plan.
—Photo by Keith Homing.
Torch which was carried from
Week. See sft»y page *»
HAA nominations
will close Friday
Nominations for Honorary
Activities Awards will close
Friday, Feb. 17.
This award is the highest
award given on the campus
for outstanding contributions
in the field of general student
activities.
Nomination forms may be
obtained jfrom the AMS ofice
or. the Open House office.
They should be submitted
to the Chairman, HAAComm.
Box 47, Brock Hall, along
with the signatures of three
nominees.
Nominations to close
Nominations for the AMS
Third Slate elections close 4
P.m. Feb. 16.
Positions on this slate are the
presidencies, of MAA, WAD,
UCC and Am -
His excellency Jacob Herzog
spoke on "Israel's Development,
Physical and Spiritual" to a
UBC crowd which had begun
to gather outside the lecture hall
before  12:30.
Discussing the foreign policy
of Israel, Herzog said that the
Middle East is not an isolated
area, but the crossroads of three
continents, and must be considered in this context.
EXISTING   CONFLICTS
Three great conflicts exist in
the Middle East.
The first is the Middle East
in relation to the other areas of
the world, particularly the great
power blocs in the East and
West.
Herzog said that the Middle
East should join in economic cooperation and partnership with
the nations of Asia and Africa.
"Israel has urgent sense of international co-operation, based
on an inherent belief in t h e
equality and dignity of mankind," he  said.
Herzog stated that at the
moment there were four hundred African students in Israel,
and five hundred Israeli technicians working in other countries.
INTRA-ARAB   STRUGGLE
The second line of conflict
is the intra-Arab struggle, Herzog stated. He referred to the
tensions and crises in the Arab
world, and said that Israel supports the independence of all
Arab  states.
"Over the past decade, there
has been a general movement
among the Arabs which could
possibly lead toward democracy," Herzog said, but added
that it was difficult to state any
clear prognosis.
"Israel is   not   against  the
union of Arab states as long as
it does not threaten any other
nation. We do oppose any
attempt at union by subversion
or aggression, and we are
against coercion of any kind,"
he said.
PRIMARY AIM
The third great conflict which
Herzog outlined was the Israel-
Arab situation. He emphasized
that the primary aim of his
country's foreign policy is
peace, and said that the Arab
states also suffer from the lack
of peace.
"The Arab-Israel conflict is
not one of real interest. There
is nothing Israel has which the
Arabs require," Herzog said,
and added that the situation was
highly emotional and psychological.
"I can assure you that we
seek only peaco and good relations between Israel and the
Arabs. This is by no means impracticable," he said.
"We've offered to meet with
the Arabs Without prior conditions. Possibly together we can
restore the Middle East to its
pristine greatness of old times,"
he said.
ARAB REFUGEES
Turning to the Arab refugee
problem, Herzog said it was the
result of the Arabs' unwillingness to accept the UN decision
which created Israel, attacking
the new state at its birth.
He quoted an Arab foreign
minister, who said it would be
a "War of momentous extermination and massacre . . . which
people will compare to the massacres of the Huns."
Herzog said the Arabs left
Israel at the behest of their
leaders, expecting  to return
(Continued on page 8).
See "ISRAELI"
Who
Where
Anyone who holds an AMS
card may vote. Students from
all faculties including Grad
Studies are eligible"
Candidates for Treasurer
are Dean Feltham and Malcolm Scott; for Co-Ordinator
they are Al Ferguson, Kyle
Mitchell and Doug Stewart.
Also on the slate is the Ref -
erendum on the proposed
Arts^Science split.
For platforms seepage 3.
Brock North and South
The Cafeteria
Outside Library
Buchanan Exterision, second
floor
Outside Bu. 106
Outside Dean Gage's office
Outside bookstore
Main hall of Wesbrook
• Education  and  Engineering
Buildings
Advance polls: Brock South,
11:30-3:30; Acadia, Fori, Men's
Residences, tonight, 4:45-6:30.
When
10:00-4:00
Wednesday
FEBRUARY
15
How
Students must present AMS
card and sign Voter's List in
order to vote.
Preferential balloting will
be - used. This means that
voters mark candidates 1, 2,
3, etc. in order of preference.
Ballots must be marked
clearly, or they will be considered spoiled and will not
be counted.
Each student must place his
own ballot in., the(box, J Page Two
THE      U B YS S E Y
Tuesday, February 14, 1961
THE UBYSSEY
Authorized as second class mail by Post Office Department, Ottawa
MEMBER CANADIAN UNIVERSITY PRESS
' Published three times weekly throughout the University year
in Vancouver by the Publications Board of the Alma Mater Society,
University  of B.C.  Editorial, opinions  expressed are   those  of   the
Editorial Board ol the Ubyssey and not necessarily those of the.
■',        Alma Mater Society of the Unlversitv of B.C.
•■ ;l"ELEPHONES: CA 4-324z\ locals 12 (news desk), 13 (critics-
1 ■      ' sports ), 14 (Editor-in-Chief), 15, 6 (business offices).
Editor-in-Chief: Fred  Fletcher
.   F
-Managing Editor
NewsEditqr" ■ • ■
Associate Editors .
Photography Editor
Senior Editor .
Sports Editor . .
Critics Editor . . .
CUP Editor
Roger McAfee
....   Denis Stanley
Ian Brown, Ed Lavalle
.   .    .   Byron Hender
Ann  Pickard
.    .    .    Mike Hunter
.   .   Dave Bromige
T>nb Hendrickson
Layout— Sharon   Rodney
NEWS—Keith Bradbury, Sharon McKinnon, Terry Pine,
Coleman Romalis, Ruth Robertson, Dick Arkley, Stu
McLaushlin. George Railton. D*ane Grpenall.
SPORTS—Bert MacKinnon, Chris Fahrni, Dierter Urban,
Pete Gelin, Ron Kydd.
Technical — Maureen Covell
Guest Editorial
Symposium upheld
It is of course a relief to know that the editors of the Ubyssey
do not charge the 1961 Symposium Committee with evil intent;
even so they do question some not clearly indicated) of its policies. Their sentiments are set out in the editorial of Tuesday,
Feb. 7.
Presumably they are referring primarily to the policy on
selection procedure, which is a screening by committee of applications drawn frpm the entire student body. That the method is
awkward we are aware; that it may lead to error is obvious. But
we simply know of no better method.
Perhaps these anonymous editors, like others in our society,
would prefer the selection to be by lot, so that everybody, regardless of ability or merit, would have the same chance. Perhaps they
wrould prefer to see the selection of student delegates to a student
Supported event undertaken by a faculty committee. It may be
they would wish to have the selection solely on the basis of course
marks. We think none of these alternatives satisfactory.
It is unfortunate—and a little surprising—that these editors
could not have offered specific proposals.
The rest of the editorial deals with several unsubstantiated
charges by unstated persons. The,facts, however, are these:
In 77 student delegates selected, there were only 12
who had attended any previous Symposium. (There
were also,9 members of the committee.—Ed.)
Among the 32 women delegates selected, there were
6 who were sorority members.
(One would prefer not to refer to the execrable taste of the
individual who is prepared to publish unsupported charges and
Specific personal slander in an unsigned letter. By this display
alone she has offered cause to doubt her qualification to participate in a meeting of decent and rational people.)
And the reason that the delegation was slightly smaller than could have been accommodated was simply
. that there were a few last minute cancellations, and a
few delegates who did not pick up boat tickets. 87
. delegates could have been accommodated; 87 applications were accepted; 82 delegates attended the weekend.
That there were relatively few students applying with the
pecessary qualifications is a matter of surprise and concern. That
they did not is a matter of fact.
In this connection I would be pleased to review with any
interested person the publicity measures undertaken by the Committee through USC, the Inter Residence Council, RADSOC, the
Faculty Association, a faculty circular, and the Ubyssey, in inviting applications. I would further be happy to discuss with interested persons the explicit policy of the Publications Board and
'The Ubyssey respecting our publicity effort.
.This committee has always  welcomed responsible criticism.
: The editorial, of February 7, however, was neither accurate nor
responsible, and deserves  no  further  attention.
— Rod Dobell
Grad Studies
(See Thursday's edition for The  Ubyssey's  proposals.—Ed.)
Arts, scienm split
Several stat^erriejits have been made about the split of the
Arts and Science tJrjdergradua^e' Society*<which tend to lead to
the conclusion that the only reason for the split of the Arts and
Science is the gigantic size of the society. The size, however, is
the only one of the reasons.
Another reason, and a most important one, is the problem of
organization. Most Sciencemen have the greater part of their classes in the Physics, Chemistry, Wesbrook, or Biological Sciences
Buildings, while Artsmen usually have their classes in the Buchanan or the Old Arts Building. The fact that these two groups
it buildings are located near the two opposite extremities of the
jampus make a division of Arts and Science activities very desirable.
In one of the editorials of The Ubyssey a claim was made that
nobody in Science would be prepared to take over the responsibilities of organizing this society. First of all, the fact that over
aalf of the members of the ASUS general meeting were Science-
men shows that they are taking an active interest in their undergraduate society affairs. Secondly, I know of several persons who
»re willing to take over the executive duties of the "new society.
— Peter Penz
I guess they weren't satisfied with that call.
Letters To
The Editor
Not 'Tweedy'
Editor,
The Ubyssey,
Dear Sir: -
.   I protest the words "tweedy
International   House   Female"
used by Derek Allen in Tuesday's  Ubyssey.  I have  never,
repeat   NEVER,   been  associated with International' House.
Please request I>erek Alien's
apology to International House.
Mary E. Barkworth,
Science IV.
Editor,
The Ubyssey,
Dear Sir:
In an attempt to identify our
one girl candidate . . . you
termed Mary a "tweedy International House female."
Mary is not a member of our
organization. She has only been
in the House once. But if she
were a member, why should
this connote tweediness necessarily? And why should her
membership make her a less-
than-fitting candidate of the
presidency of the AMS?
(Miss) Gail E.  Greenwell,
an actual Tweedy Int.
House female.
Jabber wocky's note: To the
irate sufferageties who protest
my \%Iut' on the lone female
candidate in the AMS Presidential race, please note that
I was reporting and condemning an attitude adopted by the
Brock crowd. Call off your
hounds. —Derek Allen.
The Debate
Editor,
The Ubyssey,
Dear Sir:
I would like  to  submit the
following   expression   of   my
thoughts   on   the   issue  raised
over the "Chastity Debate."
Our morals we viewed with
dismay,
As our instincts increased day
by day,
Our desires did inflate,
Till   we   heard   THE  DEBATE,
But   this  cleared   our   frustrations away.
Yours Faithfully,
ANONYMOUS.
By DEREK ALLEN
It's the little things that make life interesting . . .
The motorcycle policeman, stolid and foreboding, who
waits expectantly, just around the corner two blocks from the
University Gates for speeding students, who sees one and
pumps his starter, anticipating with a look of strained excitement the swift appearance and brief chase, the sinking, feeling in his victim's heart and stomach, the nice blue ticket;
who pumps again, and again, and—-^frustration damnable—
again; who gives up with a look of disgust, leans back in
his saddle to glare impotently at three smart-ass punk uni-:
versity kids that are giving him the big cheer and the jolly
laugh.
* * *
The semi-Brock type wfao was around when the Presidential ballots were counted and who had a chance to Compare
Cornwall and Noel at close quarters, who wanted to run over
and change his vote but it was too late for that, who picked
his only winner when he voted for President and now thinks
perhaps he was wrong all three times.
And all the Aggies who think they are really in now that
their boy 'has won it and maybe they are and won't that frost
all the Brock types who thought maybe they were really
going to be in when their boy made it.
* * *
The Co-ed who was giving blood for the first time; who
wandered into the Armoury lonely as a cloud except for her
arrogant friend who knew what it was all about because he had
given blood before and he knew it didn't hurt and there was
nothing to it so come on, let's go, don't hold up the line kid,
there's nothing to worry about. And in spite of all cynicism
poetic justice was dispensed: she took to giving like she was
born for it, filled the bottle swiftly, climbed off of the cot lithely
and saw no reason to lie down and rest for a while; and her
stalwart male companion drained slowly, pale and distraught
came he away.
k .-.■ •*
The smiling Socialist who was chalking up polls when Model
Parliament ballots were counted; whose happy anticipation slowly evaporated as the extent of the defeat was made plain; who
tried to be graceful to the victors—those smug, superior pinko-
grits who had stolen his thunder and the House that was rightly
his. And of course he diagnosed the reasons for the result: "I
know why we didn't win. We didn't get enough votes!" But
really it was cruel to cut CCF off with only 998 votes. Surely
they deserved two more. It would have made such a moral
difference.
And even the benighted Fort Camper who was struggling home
through wind-driven rain; who crossed the Buchanan plaza, that
slippery cement lake that just refuses to let the rain run off,
with his head tucked neatly behind his numbrella and navigation
strictly by luck; who detoured the large planter of trees and
plants after bumping into it who finally staggered blindly into
the little pond some asnine architect placed on the edge of the
runway. Rain itself is bad enough but stepping into a foot and*
a half of water is too much. His comments will not be recorded. Tuesday, February 14, 1961
THE      UBYSSEY
Page Three
Candidates   statements   for   second   slate
For   Treasurer
Dean Feltham
In the coming year the office
of Treasurer will require a person with extensive knowledge
of student government finances
and a wide background of experience in AlVfS and faculty
student affairs. My academic accounting courses and my past
experience in faculty and AMS
student affairs will give me considerable insight into the many
financial and representative
problems that will arise in the
allocation of your $272,000 budget.
In the capacity of Treasurer 1
will propose that the $10 building" program allocation be channeled into the student union
building, cafeteria facilities and
residence recreational iacilities.
Malcolm Scott
The Treasurer must be both
an administrator and one of you)
representatives   on   Council.
I feel my training in the Com-
nerce Accounting option coup
'ed with my practical exper-
,once as treasurer of three large
\MS Organizations provides me
v\ ith the background necessary
in thoroughly and efficients
handle the administrative, tasks.
With respect to my qualifications to be one of your representatives and to legislate on
your behalf, I can only state that
I am deeply interested in all
student activity and that I will
do a complete and effective job
il elected.
It would indeed be a privilege
For  Coordinator
Al Ferguson
As Co-Ordinator of Activities
Kyle Mitchell
Increased representation of
undergraduate societies on council will require careful plan-
rung to ensure that all campus
organizations receive their fair
ihare of the facilities of the
Alma Mater Society.
To ensure this, if elected, I
will begin immediately to coordinate the coming year's programme so that campus organizations and the increased num-
oer of undergraduate ctivities
my function with the greatest
success.
Participation in student activities over the past two years has
equipped me with the necessary
knowledge and experience to
carry out the tasks of AMS Coordinator of Activities.
STUDENT LIBRARY
Open hearings similar to
those on the Food Services complaints will be held by the Student Library Committee in the
Music Room Thursday 12:30-
2:30.
Students who have complaints
about noise, lack of facilities and
other suggestions for improvement of the Library are asked to
attend.
SPECIAL  EVENTS  WEEK
CONTINUES
The Hillel annual Special
Events Week will continue
through to this Friday.
Dr. R. C Cragg, Associate
Professor in tne Department of
Fine Arts,..'UBC) will speak on
''Meaningless Man in a Meaningless World," Tuesday noon in
Bu. 100.
- Dr.' Brock Chisholm, formerly Director General of the
World Health Organization, will
speak on "Conscience in the
Face of a Hostile Society", Wednesday, in Arts 100.
Dr. James S. Tyhurst, Professor and head of the department of psychiatry, UBC faculty
of medicine, will speak on "Coping with Unpopularity", Thursday noon, in Bu. 100.
Brotherhood Sabbath Dinner
and services, Friday, 6:30 p.m.,
Beth Israel  Synagogue.
Opening Feb. 17th
Varsity Fabrics
4343 West 10th Avenue
CAstle 4-0842
Yard goods,   patterns   and
notions.
to serve you as AMS Treasurer, i I will:
• Place Brock Management
Committee on an equal faculty
representation basis so that
every faculty has a voice in the
operation of Brock Hall and the
expenditure of funds for faculty
common rooms.
• Publish weekly a schedule
of the forthcoming week's activities which have booked
space.
• Establish activity notice
boards in strategic locations to
complement the published' week-
§- i ly schedule.
• Formulate an internal pub-
f i lie relations department to handle  all  groups  and  clubs  pub-
[ licity needs.
1     • Carry on in the fine tradi-
I tion the present coordinator has
established.
For  Treasurer
Student Room and Board
Home being newly redecorated and refurnished. Single or
double rooms. 3720 W. 7th
Ave., CA 4-5141 for appointment.
Damn
'ON CAMPUS-LENTEN OBSERVANCE"
jAsh Wednesday, Feb. 15th - 7:15 a.m. - Buch. 205
HOtY COMMUNION
also 	
"Evensong for Students" — St. Anslem's Church
Sundays at 7:30 p.m.
During Lent, (starting Feb. 19th) this will be a series on
THE CARDINAL   ELEMENTS  OF  THE   CHRISTIAN   FAITH
A Question and Answer period follows each service
UNIVERSITY BOOK STORE
HOURS:
SATURDAY:
9 a.m. to 5 p.m.
-   9 a.m. to Noon
LOOSE LEAF NOTE BOOKS
EXERCISE BOOKS AND SCRIBBLERS
GRAPHIC ENGINEERING PAPER, BIOLOGY PAPER,
LOOSE LEAF REFILLS, FOUNTAIN PENS and INK
DRAWING PAPER
Owned and Operated by . . .
THE UNIVERSITY OF
B.C.
For Co-Ordinator
For Co-Ordinator
Doug Stewart
The position of Co-ordinator
particularly requires a person
with an intimate knowledege of
university affairs and a wide
1 background of experience in
student activities, in order that
all student functions on cam-
, pus may run smoothly and efficiently. I feel that my experience as President and Vice-President of Victoria College and my
services performed on this
year's NFCUS and Open House
Executives   would   qualify   me
for this office.
If elected, I assure you that I
j will do my utmost to attain suc-
' cess in this position.
Varsity Theatre
4375 West 10th
*Ca4-3730
Held Over By Popular
Demand  For a  4th Week
"HIROSHIMA MON AMOUR"
(French Language —
English Subtitles)
imEfiMti
First Nighler's Preview
Monday, 8:15 p.m.
Coming Attractions
"DOCTOR IN LOVE"
"SONS AND LOVERS"
"INHERIT THE WIND"
teg: ot emit hguone evah uoy fi
•ibt tahw too erng-if dna rorrtm a
,stun rehtis era uoy—eyas da
doog- era 3 11a .yz&l ro, .heir
sW .ATWwiiAZZIP at tee ot ghosaer
.elpoep fo .sepyt 11a' evres
.desseug ydaerla erali uoy. sA..
,da azzip rehtona t»uj at siht
redro dna emit gultsa-w pots os
hslw 11'ouY .daetanl azzlp emos
.ecalp tsrif eht ni taht enod d'uoy
~     AMARAZZIP
TS EIVAD 8021
5106-3 UM
BRiNGiTHIS AD JN-TRANS-
IATED AND GET FREE POP
WITH YOUR ORDER.
COMPLETE OPTICAL SERVICE
Glasses) Fitted
24-Hour Service OPTICAL Repairs
VANCOUVER BLOCK
MU 5-0928 — MU 3-2948
Main Floor
734 GRANVILLE ST.
Immediate Appointment
NEW WESTMINSTER -■ 675 COLUMBIA STREET
LA 6-8665 Page Four
THE      UBYSSEY
T*
Learning: reason or rote?
— Michael   Mathews
jOOOOOOOOOCOOCOOOOOOOOeOOOCOOPCOOOOCGOOOIOOQOi
We who
should be galvanized w i th
excit e ment
over this crucial period in
the d e v elOp-
ment of our
minds tend in-
stead to be
bored, irritated and slothful. The sloth-
is perhaps congenital, but the
university is somewhat responsible for our general despair.
The unprepossessing physique
of the university,, lethal to contemplation, is reinforced by an
amosphere which is distinctly
anti-learning.
This atmosphere emanates
from the students, and also from
the faculty and administration.
The classroom atmosphere is one
of opposition to the student. -The
university, supposedly student-
centred, is in fact university-
centred in the best bureaucratic
tradition.
I realize teat bureaucracy is
to some extent necessary to handle the great number of students
and to give the impression that
things are happening, but should
bureaucracy extend to teaching,
to marks and to advancement to-
The end — the objective —
of the learning process at university is an intellectual self-
sufficiency—or at least going to
be so defined by me. But the
university has to concern itself
with hpw to achieve that end.
It must be training self-sufficiency, as well as practicing it.
(One might claim that this
ought to ibe its only teaching
function, ahd the sole role of
the instructor.)
I am suggesting that the kind
of intellectual independence the
university should be teaching
requires a mastery of basic concepts of a discipline which comes
only—and let me underline only
—through drilling, and repetition, and more drilling. ">'■
It is just nonsense to talk
about getting down to reasoning
through the exciting problems
until a lot of tedious spadework
has been done.
Which inclines one to suggest
that maybe one difficulty with
the university is that it is just
not hard enough. Not necessarily   that   everybody   should   foe
ward a degree? To the extent
which it presently does?
The product of the "learning''
process at UBC is the exam
paper, which, rather significantly, stays behind when the student leaves. I think that the key
to real learning is passion. There
is no such animal as a "good dull
student."
The learning experiences
should make the hair at the back
of our necks stand up. The present situation is all in the opposite, deadly direction—a morass of effete detail, devoid of
coherence or character, unre-
tainable because never related
to the central concerns of the
mind. Only by means of insight
and emotion can we decide whether anything is worth studying
in the first place.
In a society where massive-
ness, complexity, impersonal
manipulation and dehumaniza-
tion stifle the individual human
potential as much as did the life
of the cave and tree dwellers
of prehistory, I feel that it is
imperative for the university to
resist, with grapeshot if necessary, the invading hordes of, the
applied sciences, whether physical or social, in order to preserve the lunatic fringe of edu
cated thinking, and imaginative
humans.
A teacher who refuses to expose himself in his teaching is
a crook, and, what is worse, a
slob. He has a ready-made audience and an opportunity and a
responsibility to create an atmosphere conducive to learning.
This atmosphere should be uninhibited. The teacher must take
off his tie—literally—and rely
on his personal dignity. Ties dehumanize, cause frigidity and
loss of communication.
*       *       *
Sooner or later we all have
to. make it in purely human
terms. Survival tactics for humans result from the training of
the imagination and insight.
These are the tools for checking
to see how much is genuine flesh
and how much synthetic, for
making sure someone hasn't slipped us aluminum genitals when
our back was turned, for seeing
that we haven't become objectified by the sly and incessant
pressures of group living.
Because the ironic thing about
objects is that for all their apparent usefulness they aren't
safe things to be. They get taken for granted because they're
replaceable:'They are very hard
to love.
University fc
- Rod  Dobell
working harder, or that some
people should be weeded out,
but rather that no student
should be able to graduate without getting down to grips with
some of the problems of basic
understanding in his discipline.
Another factor militating
against real thought* is the lack
of any attempt at a synthesis of
material in various areas of
study. Rather every course is
isolated; it is emphasized one
way or another that the marks
in this course depend only on
a mastery of the majfierial in) this
course. '•■•
It seems not to be expected
that a student should bring to
bear on any problem all the related knowledge at his disposal.
It is clear that no real prob
lem can foe treated or solved in
isolation; yet senior students
are permitted to try. A very unfortunate result of this is that
many of the critical human.decisions which every responsible
individual must consider — the
questions of disarmament, of de-
i velopment   in    under-developed
nations, the growing isolation of
the North American -society
from other peoples of the world
—these find no place whatever
in the compartmentalized,7 specialized studies of the university.
These three things, then, I
consider are essential to the
learning process of the university — a reluctance to depend
too heavily on unexamined authority, a recognition that intellectual challenge consists of reason founded on a great deal of
drill work in the mastery of con
cepts, and a tendency to synthesize, to apply all the knowledge which can be brought to
bear in the solution of a particular problem.
My conclusion then follows
that to teach from the research
man's point of view is the only
way in which to achieve that
end we established for our learning proeess — the intellectually
self-sufficient, independent student. This is all the university
should be trying to teach; anything other belongs in the high
school.
Dr. J. B.
Warren, physics p ro fessor,
speaks on the
debate motion
"Resolve thai
this university
be res Iricted
to the education of the In-
t e 1 lectual Elite".
The motion clearly indicates
that the convenors of this Aca-
d e m i c Symposium recognise
that at present our University
is pursuing the policy that
everyone who wishes to come
should be found a place and
given courses suitable for his
intelligence and ability, no matter how lacking these may be.
DEPENDS ON BRAINS
All of us realise that, whether
we like it or not, the success of
our country as judged by our
health and happiness, economic
prosperity and influence abroad
depends on the brains of about
1% of the population. If they
fail we stagnate or suffer, as is
most obvious in the economic
field. If we lose too many of our
ablest minds to U.S.A. we find
our institutions being run by
second rate people, who, without -wishing to, are apt to encourage even greater . mediocrity.
UNABLE TO TRAIN
This means that our University . is unable to sharpen the
training of a student's ability,
nor does it provide a forcing
ground for his character.
Here at UBC we steadily
gress further down the
by providing highly expe
training for jobs which cou
better learnt by short, c
apprenticing. It is expensn
can be seen from the Cale
since each professor no rc
whether he professes adv
ing or anthropology, politic
home economics, physics or
sical education, logging oi
gets paid $12,000 per an
each associate $9,000, and
assistant $7,000.
GRADUATE SCHOOLS
Recent years have seen
establishment of a numb,
graduate professional schoc
UBC, the most recent of v
is that of Librarianship.
argued that it Is social pre
for professional status v
causes this, or that some gi
need a higher paper qual
tion for professional adv
ment.
We are fond of looking <
our noses at our ArnetI„an <
terpaxts when, we read of
academic courses such as Cl
400, but Is it so funny wh<
1960 we foster a masters' i
Reflection on ,
Academic Symposiu
f essors and students m(a;
well as promote unders
dent, was held in Parke:
3 to 5.
The theme of the S
and Education" and this
the student body some
Ersatz,  Osmosis, <
Contemplation...
Discussion .
By DR. W. E. FREDEMAN       |
'.    ' I
"He   who   would   foe,   great,",
Emerson once-once said, "must
be a non-conformist." One hundred years and another confed*
eration later, Mike Matthews,
writing as a Ravenous "mad
dog" uttered another cliche,
diametrically opposed to Emerson's dictum: "Nine times out of
ten to be reactionary is to be
right."
Emerson's admonition, because it epitomized the spirit ot
cultural revolution in mid-century America has become almost
a democratic slogan; Matthews'
statement echoes a position that
in recent years has assumed
something of the virtue of a
Commandment among "campus
intellectuals." One is essentialy
liberal, almost radical; the other
is unashamedly conservative.
For the age to which Emerson
addressed his remarks, non-con-
iormism, self-reliance and indi
vidualism were absolutely essential if America were ever to let
go the cultural apron strings that
her intellectuals had substituted
for the political umbilicus severed by the surgery of the War
of Independence. America had
won the political right- to stand
alone;- the- intellectual right
could toe won by no collective
skirmishes, but only on the battlefields of individual and creat
/
Cottfori
ive minds, willing to stand a
willing to defend their owi
tegrity; and, apove all, wi
to be wrong.
Emerson's age was one. w
cduld afford the luxury of
piricism; . it had time tc
wrong; for the forces v
threatened it jeopardized
its immediate prestige, no
security, certainly not its
existence.
The Cold War which
been waged between East
West during the past fi
years' has brought as its at
ant companions, new i
principally the fear of 1
wrong, and the overwhel
fear that if we are not righ
face only destruction.
On a national level,
fears have produced the "i
conservatism, which is nc
much a political philosopli
a reservation, almost syi
mous with CAUTION.
Now, I fully realize tha
are here concerned with
campus rather than with th
tional scene, but since no s
unit fully escapes the zeil-
(the temper of the times oi
controlling atmosphere of
environment) it is essential
we understand fully what
nature of that spirit is.
• Among-most North Amei
University   students   these
never been a tradition of =ebruary 14, 1961
THE     UBYSSEY
Page Five
the elite?
n the Vardon and Spread grips
a golf?
.IMITED FUNDS
B.C. can only afford a limited
um of money for this Univer-
ity.     .
Should we afford these frills
rhen the only significant new
ffering to liie Intellectually
lite since the war has been the
tedical faculty?
We continually read of t h e
eed for secondary industries in
ur province yet there have
een no new branches of eng-
leering introduced over the
ast decade.
Ih science we haye not yet
&ched Faculty status so. it is
ardly surprising that we have
o chair of Organic Chemistry,
lough the wealth of our pro-
ince 14 es largely in organic
laterials, no d e p a r tment of
enetics; and in this Space Age
at even an Astronomer on the
aff even though there are mag-
ifieent optical and radio tele-
:opes close by. Most incredible
that out of our 8.5 million
)llars per .annum budget we
inhot afford any ^sup^qrt at all
r the Faculty of Graduate
;udies, and a mere $25,000 for
MviicSymposium
odiumthrough which prongs views and opinions as
-between faculty and stu-
rancouver Island February
mual was "Private Minds
v Ian attempt to present to
views expressed there.
E. L. & D.G.
the President's Hesearch Fund.
Posterity will judge UBC by
the great minds it produces. Despite the ever-increasing size of
the Calendar the offerings are
more and more designed for the
hoi polloi.
The intellectually elite, whose
leadership we shall so badly
need, are stagnating in the
swamp.
I maintain that our very expensive University is not the
proper place for training most
sorts of human abilities, not
even the leaders in many fields
of endeavour.
What good would the usual
first year Arts courses be to a
ballerina or even a fan dancer?
Sitting at English 100, Maths
100, Physics 100 (though there
might well be good arguments
for this) would certainly broaden her fanny, but this would be
unlikely to help her become a
leader in her profession.
UBC A SAUSAGE FACTORY
A University is like a fancy
sausage factory, it can turn out
long sausages, short sausages,
thin skinned sausages and thick
but, despite the Uncertainty
Principle, it does not and is not
designed to produce apple pies.
I do not believe it is practical
or wise to pretend that all our
leaders should come from one
mould. At this stage of human
development large organizations
are cursed with inefficiency.
Surely it is time to diversify
and create autonomous instiiu-
type of training and located so
lions tailored to do only one
as to help the development of
other areas of B.C.
Symposium   unlike   ideal
or
I rebellion in the development of leadership
nts exercising a serious politi-
1 force.
In tile first place, the North
nerican student is not condi-
>ned ?to serious -collective ac-
m,v especially when, it borders
i mob, rule. Generally, his poli»
:al convictions are amorphous
id embryonic in nature. But
ore important than both these
ctors jis the simple one that
e American student is not tak-
. seriously as is his foreign
unterpart, whoi more often
an not, belongs to the intellec-
al elite of his nation.
Our democratic government
s consistently broadened the
se of public education, includ-
g that of the university itself,
lich in most areas is regarded
merely an extension of the
blic school program. North
nerican students, because they
present such a large propor-
m of the population, are often
nformist, apathetic and- dull.
Most of mem are politically-
aware and a large proportion
them are disinterested in edu-
tion, their concern with the
iversity being only the prag-
itic one dSMearrting not why,
t how, in order to make a liv-
We can only getseralize vabout
ality in pur universities, but
no conceivable stretch of'any-
iB   imagination   can   we   as-
students in them are among the
intellectual elite.
Because our society finds, it
uncomfortable to .believe in the
existence of such a body it is
unwilling to make provisions for
it, though it readily makes extravagant provisions for those
on the other end of the scale—
its malformed, its mentally deficient and uneducables.
The democratic principle presumably is to deny the existence
of clases and to equate fully the
contributions of all members oi
society—plumbs and physicians,
painters and philosophers, penologists and public works employees. But is it? So long as
this prinrciple is insisted upon,
the universities will, I believe,
founder, for their very existence
depends   upon   a   contradiction.
Paradoxically however, democracy tends equally to erase the
distinction among men and to
establish a hypothetical middle
ground or average towards
which those at both the top and
the bottom are directed. Into
this morass of mediocrity, cultivated and sustained by mass
communication, advertising and
the public school program itself,
the individual is drawn.
In' the process, more often
than not, he loses the very individuality which, ostensibly at
The symposia of Hellas in the
years B.C. were often sex orgies
and_sopliisticated relaxations for
dissolute aristocrats. But there
were exceptions.
The symposium P la t o describes, the sort that Socrates sat
in on, had a dual purpose: liquid
refreshment stimulated the body
while verbal engagement invigorated the mind.
Organizers of UBC's Academic Symposium think differently
and the bar does not open until
after the last discussion group
has reported in. Adding insult
to injury, they provide a carafe
of undil uted water for the
speaker.
MALT VS. GRAPE JUICE
In view Of the difference between the approach of Hellenes
to their grape juice and North
Americans to their malt, prohibition is understandable. -
But there is an unhappy sequel. When the restrictions are
lilted, when the day's programme is tinished and the beer
distributed, the singing  begins.
Greeks too enjoyed a song
and even brought in the slave
girls to dance, but in the more
sophisticated academic symposia
this was not allowed to interfere with the primary purpose
—to bring men together in conversation that the young* might
gain the wisdom experience had
lent their elders.
There is no danger of such
at our 'symposium'. Unhappily
the songs and games (shuffle-
board, ping-pong and cards) had
far greater attraction for the
delegates then continued intel-,
lectual exercise had;
While bridge, whist, poker
and hearts demand supreme
mental engagement, they also
destroy the opportunity to concentrate on conversation, discussion and so forth.
There were groups of delegates who continued to converse
but they were invariably dominated by, or composed entirely
of, the faculty, alumni and administration members who do so
much tq make these symposia a
success.
BEER AT PARKSVILLE
They did this over beer at
Parksville and even on the busses coming back, in spite of the
racket student delegates justified by its similarity, remote
;though H sometimes w a s, to
music.
The attitude of the student
delegates was, in fact, the same
that my first discussion
group — the one with President
MacKenzie in attendance — saw
to a distressing extent in the
student body as a whole. In this
sense the Symposium was representative.
: This unhappy approach is the
one that lets Rote push Reason
around in the pursuit, not of
Knowledge, but of careers; the
view that regurgitation of professor's notes is all that is required to pass examinations and
aequire a degree 'that is your
ticket to the gravy train.
This view was generally disparaged — by me, at least,
nearly to the point of hypocrisy
— and inferred to be the practice of less noble and dedicated
scholars, the practical people in
pursuit of a profession.
MAKING WHOOPEE
That very evening, however—
which had no formal organization after dinner — saw a select
group of UBC's academic elite,
having finished their day of lectures, engage in an extended
beer-drinking, po k e r - playing,
song-singing party.
This was fine if you enjoy
that sort of thing — and 90 per
cent either did or pretended to
—but it was not the purpose of
the s y m p o s ium. There was
nothing academic about it.
The concepts put forward by
four speakers, e x pan ded by
questions, developed in discussion groups — these were fully
digested in all their implications
by the whole gang and beer was
two^bits, cider thirty-five and
coke free.
The Seventh Annual^ is, next
year. Please come.
Limitations   on   knowledge
Extracts of a speech
by A; J. Epstein
Is the pursuit of knowledge which
does go on at
our universities worthy of
limitation?
Is it worth a
seriously hostile r e s p onse
by the powers-
that-be?
I would submit, based on a
cursory look at the publications
lists at UBC and on an even
more cursory impression of the
output irorh other universities,
that the answer Is NO, our investigations do not test the
limits  of  our  freedom.
We might come much closer
to testing these limits:
If: Some of our agriculturists
looked into the long rather than
the short, range effects of chemical fertilizers on the soil, or of
insecticides and pesticides on
the balance of nature.
Cominco, producers of chemical fertilizers, might re-consider
before granting fellowships to
the universities.
If: Some of our psychologists
tested our Social Credit politicians on the authoritarian personality scale.
What might be the repercussions if it were found and were
published that they all rated
high?
If: Our medical people and
social workers started a pilot
study of the effect on drug add
iction of the free distribution of
drugs.
The opposition to such tests
of freedom would of course not
come from outside the university alone. The faculty itself; is
not much less conservative than
the surrounding world.
There is no apparent pressure
in Canada to limit the freedom,
at our universities but it is only
pure luck that a corresponding
McCarthyite development has
not occured here in Canada and
that we have not been subject to
the same external pressures.
It is possible that some of our
university boards are more enlightened, but nothing^ in the
institutional arrangements prevailing in Canadian universities
differs substantially from that
of American universities in such
a way as to shield the faculty.
une that all or even half the least, is the fruit of democracy.
—Photos by George Fielder.
Grape juice, song and good company Page Six
THE    UBYSSEY
Tuesday, February  14,  1961
Photo   toy   Barry   Joe.
DON NORTH, Kqrl Kappas, Tom Skupa and Gerry Cook form
Quartet to sing "You've Got to Have Heart", one of the hit
songs from "Damn Yankees" which will be produced on
campus next week.
'DamnYankees toiSe
1961  Mussoc show
'Damn Yankees' will be featured as Musical Society's 1960
production.
'Damn Yankees' a recent Broadway hit, will be on
Campus for one week starting February 20th.
The  show will be  presented
Engineer
torch
burns on
in the Auditorium every night
but Tuesday. Monday and Wednesday will be open to students
only and the public is invited
to the Thursday night performance.
Mussoc has lined up a cast of
fifty students. The director for
the show will be James Johnson, the c h o reography is by
Grace MacDonald and the music
will be conducted by Bev Fyfe.
Tickets for the event are on
sale daily in the AMS Office.
On Friday night somebody
stole one of the seven foot plywood cut-outs of Lola.
Another was picked up by
Buildings and Grounds Friday
when somebody got tired of
carrying it and left it on University Boulevard.
Students need
no Russian
Students applying for NFCUS
Soviet student exchange do NOT
have to speak Russian despite
the story in Friday's Ubyssey.
Applications, with two short
essays, must be in the NFCUS
office in Brock Extension by
Friday.
Engineering Week began Monday when a flaming torch was
transported from Victoria to
UBC by a relay of Engineers.
The torch was ignited on the
stairs of the parliament buildings at 8 a.m. by Minister of
Highways P. A. Gaglardi. A
representative of the Engineers
took it to the boat and across to
Vancouver.
It was transported by car to
the Oak St. Bridge, then a team
of 25 runners relayed it to UBC.
Dean Myers of the Faculty of
Applied Science received the
torch at 12:45 and ignited a
flame on the Main Mali.
The Engineers plan to keep
the flame burning during the
week of "the "Crimson Caravan."
Other   events   this   week   include the Engineers Pep  Meet
today and the Engineers Balls,
Wednesday and Thursday.
Arts and Science split tentative;
referendum to be held Wednesday
Students will decide whether or not to approve the Arts
and Science undergraduate split in a referendum to be held
along with the Second Slate A.M.S. election Wednesday.
A constitutional amendment concerns the change of Arts
and Science Undergraduate Society to Arts Undergraduate
Society and Science Undergraduate Society in the wording of
the constitution dealing with undergraduate society president
seats on A.M.S. Council.
Yankees
Motz & Wozny
548 Howe St.       MU 3-4715
Custom Tailored Suits
for  Ladies  and   Gentlemen
Gowns and Hoods
Uniforms
Double breasted suits
modernized in the new
single breasted styles.
Special Student Bates
Public Lecture On
Buddhism
Topic: B addfaism and the
Western World.
Speaker: Visiting Pro fessor
R. Fujiwara from Ryukoku
University, Japan.
Place: Vancouver Budd hist
Church, Powell and Jackson.
Time: 7:30 p.m.
Date: February 16th, 1961.
Spoteor; Vancouver Young
Buddhist Association.
Q|
TUXEDOS
FOR YOUR
FRATERNITY
SPRING   FORMALS
We will call al your fraternity house, take fittings
for your group . . . deliver
the Tuxedos, and pick
them up.
$6.00 .COMPLETE
Phone Today!
Bob Lee's Tuxedo
Junction
623 West  Hastings
Mtl. 4-004ST
DROP IN AND
SEE OUR FINE
SELECTION OF MEN'S
VALENTINE CARDS
NOW ON SALE 25c
i   i i i i i i i
COLLEGE
At the present time the constitution only provides for the
Arts and Science Undergraduate Society president to be seated on Council. Since the undergraduate society has been split
into two organizations a constitutional change is required so
that presidents from both undergraduate societies may sit on
Council.
Commerce or Arts Graduates
interested in a career in sales. Can arrange interviews now
for Thursday, February 16th, at hut M7.
Canadian Canners Ltd.
Aylmer Products
STUDENTS
Applications for either PERMANENT or SUMMER EMPLOYMENT are now.being accepted at the N.E.S. Office between
8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Monday to Friday inclusive.
EARLY REGISTRATION IS DESIRABLE
apply to
NATIONAL EMPLOYMENT OFFICE
1145 Robson Street,
UBC Unit
UNITED AIR LINES
NOW ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS FOR
STEWARDESSES
For Spring and  Summer Training Classes
Qualifications  Include'
Ase 20 through 26; height 5'2" to 5'8", weight in proportion. Must be personable, attractive, capable of dealing with
the public. Some public contact work experience beneficial.
V5£ES?IBVrSn ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS AT
GEORGIA    HOTEL    MEZZANINE    FEBBtJABY   15,    11:00
a.m. to 7:00 p.m.
I
For further information please
write to United Air Lines Personnel Department, Seattle-Tacoma
Airport,   Seattle   88,   Washington. Tuesday, February 14, 1961
T-«£     UBYSSEY
Page Se^en
^\.*& $™
FOR THE BIRDS
By MIKE HUNTER
The War Memorial Gym is not especially noted for its
acoustics, but notable sounds occasionally bounce off its paper-
board ceilings. The 'Birds guilded cage has vibrated with the
roars of 4000 excited high school students; it has survived the
endless cliches of hundreds of chamber of commerce presentation speeches; it has echoed with the voices of such eminent
personalities as J. Gordon Gibson, Mike Sone, and Meadowlark
Lemon.
But the choicest sounds come from the inevitable leather-
throated spectators who frequent the games. This species of
gym-type is usually a Booster-Club type bom on New Years
Eve who is still goirfg strong. He positions himself about ten
rows back, sometimes with a cowbell, and comments on various
aspects without fear of reprisal from below.
Most of the criticism is aimed at the referees, whose position forbids them to whistle back. "Hey, Leach," they taunt,
"y°u don't need glasses, you need binoculars!"
"If your brains were dynamite, they wouldn't blow your
head off," they chide. Occasionally, an overexuberant spectator will let loose with material such as (censored by Ross
Craigie).
When the fan figures he has the referees brainwashed, he
turns upon the coach. "Hey Pomfret," they holler. "If your
guys gotta foul, tell 'em to kill the bums!"
When King Clancy was coaching the Maple Leafs one time,
a fan nailed him during a momentary silence.
"Hey, Clancy," he yelled. "We got a town back near Boston n^med after you!"
Clancy's ego;got the best of him. "Issatso? Whaddaya call it?"
he answered.
"Marblehead!" _roared the fan gleefully.
Once in a/while tihe fan has a deep-down urge to get on a
player's nerves.   A  certain  Mr.   Osborne  has  borne   several
nasty comments of late, including several references to a species of ocean-going mammal. But whatever became of Don
-Robertson?
■ * * •k
'",:.     UBC has lost another WCIAU title this weekend. Is the
i WGIAU getting stronger,  or  we  getting weaker?   .   .   .  according to one of the disgruntled judges, the conduct of several
members of the champion Alberta fencing team was far from
desirable .(see editorial cartoon). The fencers reportedly interrupted play continually to criticize the judges and quarrel
with the director. Needless to say, this kind of behaviour adds
; little to the general reputation of the University concerned . . .
Hockey fans and people who like a good time can't afford
to miss the Booster Club's Chilliwack Invasion. Besides seeing
good hockey, fans will get an intellectually stimulating bus
ride. .,. . P.S. Did you hear about the hermit who was picked
up ion the boulevard for recluse* driving? .
'Birds wallop herd,
clinch hoop crown
DAVE WAY
• .   shines   again
Chilliwack trip
tickets on sale
Tickets are now on sale for
the Booster Club's Chilliwack
Invasion Feb. 25. The Clu/b is
sponsoring the big UBC Thun-
derbird-U. of Saskatchewan
hockey game that night in
Chilliwack.
Bands, cheerleaders and
broomball bugs are all scheduled to make the trip. Plans
are under way to have a skating party after the game.
Price for the bus trip is $1,
and admission to the game is
50 cents or an A-card. Tickets
are now on sale at A.M.S. offices.
MAA Executive
Regular meeting of the MAA
executive Brock Board Room at
noon.
GRASSHOCKEY
Varsity beat India 1-0 Saturday. All other games were rained out.~
VARSITY  OUTDOOR
Regular meeting  Wed.   noon
Bio. Sc. 2000.
M
wins
Sic transit gloria badminton
UBC's "out-of-shape" badminton team lost their Western Canada crown to an improved University of Manitoba team in a weekend tournament at UBC.
IKanitoba, who finished the
tournament with 26 points,
lost only one game, a mixed
doubles match to the UBC
team of Eain Lamont and Gil
Semadeni.
Second place UBC won all
their games except those to
Manitoba, gaining 19 points.
Saskatchewan finished third
with 7 points and Alberta*
trailed with two.
In the men's singles, Tolman
and Eain Lament lost in close
matches to the Manitoba ath -
letes.    Because  of torn  ligaments,   UBC   ace   Lynne Mc
Dougall could not play. Her
place was taken by Shirly
McKelvey, who won two of
three singles matches and two
of three doubles.
*       *       *
UBC Fencers finished third
in the WCIAU fencing championships Saturday. Alberta
won both men's and women's
divisions, Saskatchewan was
second.
The UBC Thunderbirds battled past the second place
Manitoba Bisons this weekend to clinch their second consecutive WCIAU championship.
The visiting 'Birds took both ends of the twin game series
66-53 and 72-61 Friday and Saturday nights respectively.
Friday   the   long   plane   trip
didn't seem to faze the fighting
UBC-ites.
In a rough, tough game before 2000 fans, the second place
Bisons gave the 'Birds a hard
fight to retain their perfect record.
UBC survived the attack to
come out on the long end of a
66-53 score.
Saturday, 'Birds came closer
to registering their.first WCIAU
loss than at any other time this
season.
By the half way mark they
were trailing 34-31. But the
roughness displayed by Manitoba killed their chances of retaining this lead when four key
players fouled out. -
With Only three minutes left,
the 'Birds held a slim one point
lead. Suddenly the 'Bird shooters started hitting and the re-
bounders rebounding to give the
champions their tenth stratighl
WCIAU win.
Leading the UBC scorers Friday night was Wayne Osborne
with 15 points. Dave Way turned
out one of his better performances the following night, dumping in 17. Dune McCaUum and
Ed Pederson had 14 and 13
points respectively.
This weekend the 'Birds travel
to Seattle. On the home floor
Friday, the crowd-pleasing Harlem Stars take on the JVs. Game
time is 8:30 p.m.
Eighty show
for   '61   grid
Already planning for next sea-,.... _,        . „    .       . _,_
son, football coach Frank Gnup  J^C, ™t Boelng AFB'
SPORTS
SHORTS
The UBC Ruggerbirds split
a pair of 5-3 games last week.
The first was an exhibition win
over the Western Washington
Vikings'Thursday noon on the
campus, the second a league loss
to Rowing club Saturday.
The Birds had two players injured in the pair of games. Fullback Bruce McCaUum tore
shoulder ligaments on Thursday
and scrum-half Dave Lee sprained his ankle Saturday.
WRESTLING
UBC wrestlers pinned the
University of Alberta 17-12 in
an intercollegiate meet Saturday. Helping out the Birds in
their win were Camille Apt,
Wes Akerman, and Ron E f f s
who came up with wins and G.
Tandi who drew in his match.
SOCCER
UBC soccer 'Birds, led by Ron
Cross with two goals and Roy
Nosella with one, defeated
North Shore 3-1 Sunday. 'Birds
hit hard and fast, scoring all
their goals in the first half.
Nosella's goal gives him 10
for the season, best for the club.
Cross is second with 8. In Jayvees soccer, UBC trounced Imperial Lumber 6-2 at New Westminster: .Sunday, Ed Wasylik
getting 5 goals.
VOLLEYBALL
The UBC Volleyball squad
finished fourth in a tournament
in Seattle behind U. off.,
called a meeting to have a look
at next years' prospects.
80 football enthusiasts who"
plan to play next year attended.
For whose who don't make the
senior team Gnup plans to have
two other teams, the Jayvees
and an "intermediate team.
Gnup is trying to get the Jayvees into the Junior Big Four
and to put another team into
the intermediate league. If he
fails in his bid to enter the junior league the Jayvees will play
American junior colleges.
To strengthen the 'Birds next
year Gnup is looking forward
to the return of Turpin, Shatzko,
McCaUum and the other steady
big guns.
"All in all', Gnup says, 'next
year we could be really tough."
BOWLING
Wayne Clark won the PNE
match play eliminations by defeating Bob Jeppesen. Ron
Craig topped oVer 60 entries to
win the 3rd annual UBC Handicap tourney with a 259 scratch
per game.
The Bird team also defeated
two Haney all-star  teams in
close   matches,   averaging   234
per man.
BASKETBALL
Braves beat North Van High
School 63-61 Saturday in a tight
game. Due to a mixup in scoring, the game was thought to
have been a 61t61 tie, but extensive, complicated research
mathematics on b e h a 1 f of the
Braves manager cleared thing*
up.
•*■■■
FILMSOC
Presents
FERNANDEL
IN
\\
Auditorium
THE SHEEP HAS FIVE LEGS
TODAY
n
3:30, 8:00 Page Eight
THE      UBYSSEY
Tuesday, February 14, 1961
7ween classes
party   head   to   speak
SOCRED PARTY HEAD
National Party President, Dr.
R. N. Thompson, noon today in
Bu.  102.
•*.'■•      *        ■
ARTS US
■■:..  The Arts US presents *'Folk-
•#©ngi Fest-   featuring   Dr.  Jim
Butler,  Al   Cox,   and  members
of the Folk Song Society. Brock
Lounge Wed. noon. Free.
* *      *
' FILMSOC
"The Sheep Has Five Legs"
today in tne Auditorium,  3:30,
8:00.
* *       *
WUSC
Wednesday 12:30, Bu. 204, a
•panel discussion on "Germany,
Key to Europe" Panel modera-
' tor, Dr. J. S. Conway. Panelists
Rupert Buchanan and the
WUSC scholars from Germany,
Kolf   Luppe   and   Vincent  Sch-
mach.
* *      *
CHINESE VARSITY CLUB
Mr. Tom Moore Whaun, will
speak in Bu. 104 noon today on
*'USA ■— a critical review from
' the Chinese point of view."
* *      *
ENGINEERING INSTITUTE
Mr. Conrad M. Lamond will
speak on "Selection and Development of Personnel" in Salon
"C" of the YWCA Building on
the corner of Burrard and Duns-
muir S'ts. at 8.00 Feb. 14.
* *       *
SCM
Second lecture of series "Pacifism — Road to Peace" Prof.
Geo.  Tuttle speaking.  Bu.  217,
12:30.
* *      *
MARKETING CLUB
Mr. Pudhey will speak to the
Marketing Club on "The Role
of the Sales Manager in Marketing" Wed. 15, 12:30 in Bu. 2244.
* *      *
EAST ASIA SOCIETY
■■■.Ho meeting on Wednesday,
15th. Instead there will be a
panel discussion on Japan on
Friday, 17th, noon in Bu. 204.
* *       *
SAM
Dr. Reid speaks on "Implications of Dr. Meyer s Principles
to the Business Community"
noon today in Bu. 1221.
* *      *
STUDENT WIVES CLUB
Dr. George Volkoff speaks on
"Russia". Wednesday night 8:15
in Mildred Brock. Refreshments.
COMMONWEALTH CLUB
Dean Soward speakJjSgn "Afro-
Asian Nations in the Commonwealth" Noon today in Bu. 106.
*      *       »•*■■•"
PRE-MED SOC
Lecture by Dr. Graham On
Pediatrics Wed. noon in Wes.
100.
16th and Arbutus
FRKE  PARKING
Feb. 13-14-15
M.T.W.
Hammond Innes Best Seller
THE WRECK OF THE MARY
DEARE
Color 8:45
Charlton Heslbn Gary Cooper
Virginia: McKenna
m. „ -pflis
SM Arthur Conan Doyle's
HOUNtV 0& THE BASKER-
; VSLLES
Color "7:00 & 10:30
Peter  Cushing^ Christopher
■■"tee ■ '
News
Feb. 18-17-18
f J.S.
William Humphrey's Novel
"HOME FROM THE HILL.:'
Color 7:45
Eleanor Parker Robert
Mitchum George  Hamilton
plus
"JET CIRCLE"
Color 7j©0 & 10:10
... you^ll travel the world
over yia'Jet   Flight
Cartoon
Starts Monday!
OPERATION BULLSHINE &
ALIVE   AND  KICKING
TAKE IT'TO
SPOTLESS
Mar*   SHIRTS Wea
i«««oc "DAMN
f"***   ¥ARKE|S"
Opens Monday, Feb. 26*7
Awditorium, fclS p.m.
Student Tickwts 75c at AMS
POWELL RIVER
RoOm for few more students
for Powell River trip. Feb. 17-
1?. See Mrs. Rollinson, I House.
'.. .** ■•■■•  '*.■■'*<
£*HNt!S| VARSITY CLllB      "\
flections Wed. noon, in«Bu~
203. All members urged to
attend.
*      *      *
WUSC
Emergency meeting noon today in Brock Extension 258.
Treasure Van today. Also Wed.
noon "Scholarships" in Conference room.
Frome Page 1
Israeli   Ambassador
with the victorious Arab armies.
"Israel has offered to pay full
compensation for the land and
property of the refugees," Herzog stated.
POLITICAL  PAWNS
He said Israel is willing to discuss this problem with the Arab
Naders, but that the latter "prefer to keep these refugees as
political pawns.
"The problem will be solved
when the Arab leaders decide to
stop using a tragic humanitarian
problem a s a political tool,"
Herzog said.
The ambassador stated that
Hsraejl's  main   spiritual   contri
bution to the world was her survival and sense of history.
"The very fact of survival
down through the ages is an
affirmation of the spiritual qualities of the Jewish people," Herzog said.
He termed the change from
the former position of the Jews
to their present situation, a
"phenomenal transition."
"Today I believe that the common man, na less than the great
leader, realizes the implications
of this epoch," Herzog said.
"As we scan the future of
mankind, we have faith and
hope.
CLASSIFIED
RIDE wanted from 41st and
Boulevard Mon.-Fri. 8:30. Call
AM 1-0892.
LOST will the person who took
a brown reversible raincoat
from armoury Thurs. please
return to rm. 312 Robson
House. (Reward).
WANTED: 88 dates for the
Dorm Formal. Transportation
and corsage only expenses.
Phone CA 4-9047 and ask for
room 223 or 213.
UBC RADIO
presents
One Full Hour of
The Best In
Stereophonic
Sounds
Qne P.M. Thursday
BROCK LOUNGE
UBC FILM SOCIETY CLASSIC SERIES
TROUBLE IN PARADISE
Ernst Lubitsch's brilliant comedy about international jewel thieves
THURSDAY, FEB 16.     —     3:30 and 8:30
*  i
FASHION   V\ HAPPY
CLENAYR
SUPER FINE-KNIT BOTANY
Your cardigan companion for campus, career
... or just because you adore lovely things . . .
full-fashioned of 100% English fine-knit
botany . . . superbly tailored collar, ribbed
cuffs and hip-hugging band ... in dramatic dark
tones ... subtle neutrals and Spring-lovely pastels.
Sizes 34-42 ..., $10.95
f- Wttfcotttthis label \/tMil&&\ it is not a genuine KITTEN!
what a REFRESHING
NEW
FEELING
...what a special zing., .you get from Coke!
RefiesMogest thing on ice, the cold crisp
taste and lively lift of ice-cold Coca-Cola!
No1 wonder Coke refreshes you]best!
ASM for "Coke" o. "Coc*Cola"-bo» toade-m«k» m«aatt» frtodmt ol
C«».Cel»LW.«-U»w8fl(t'»b«»t-)<(v«JspirkiUit<teili.    --
<%iQf ALL
WWtffigs
9y VANCOUVER, B.CfcTUESDAY^FEBRUARY 14, 1961
FEB 15 19ot
ED RAE
.■&VJ—
ESTED
MAIN MALL!
Ax t s m a n c a u g h t
following filthy  act
(News Item)   Tae scandalous depravity of Arts students
was brought into the open yesterday, with warnings being issued and one .ari-est being made.^ Fortunately, several EMGIN- .
EERS were near the scene' at the time of debauchery, and assisted in trapping the scrawny suspect.
phy TV) who stated that she, felt •>.
she, was speaking for all her
sorority sisters when she said,
"well. Is think- that the whole *
thing is just . . . well it's just
. . . well gosh, when a girl can't
. . .without even . . . well it's
just, just . . . awful . . . that's
what  it  is."
It; is with great pride that this
newspaper brings to its' readers
all the . filthy details of this
insidious incident,,: (complete
with pictures and juicy accounts
of the actual act), .The peeling .
(continued on page Four)
Sees  "PEELING"
Bigger!   Cheaper!
•As our illustrious leader has
: nofed,:pur?bans are coming up.
^l^?y«Wfh^nafd1vw)rking ball
*- cdnimittee- promises even bigger
■ '^^beite!?■'>ba*lsv m*} what is
inpre, the price of admission to
these spectacles, is down — only
';1$4ttS^:.: Tnis''r^eat's;.:theme    is
"Crimson Caravan"  and comes
complete with all .the goodies—-
dancing,  prancing,   ball  models
and Nurses'  Chorus  Line  (Hoo
HafO;
First and fourth? years, hold
theirs on the 15th and second
and third on the 16th.
So get on the bandwagon —
hustle along with those hustling
coeds and come out and support
the Engineers and the L.C.B.
;As a prelude to the balls, we
offer (in the field of fine drama)
a 'Series of short works under
the   direction   of'Finley   Fern-
feather at- the Pep-Meet, noon
today in the Auditorium (Aggies
and^Artsinen by imitation only).
So remember Engineering
week from the ^3th to 18th,
with the Pep-Meet today, the
/Ballsfori ihe 15th and 16th, and
miscellaneous skullduggery between time.
He   knows
;When I look at an engineer,
I  know that   God has   wisdom
arid when I look at an Artsman, I
I :know he has  a  sense  of  hu-j
mbur. !
On the inside
Sex Instruction __ Page 1-50
Belly Button Lint — Its
Importance in  Modern
Day Society — Page 52-53
Tool Care Page 53-54
Spiritual Hygiene __ Page 55
Raising Children for
Fun and Profit _. Page 56
Bust Building . Page 45-18-35
Build Your Own
Twong Pouch Page 57
Why Santa Clause Only
Comes Once A
Year       Page 58-60
How To Cheat and
Win ___■ Page 61-63
How To Fill Out a '
Job Application _ _ Page 64
Understanding
Women  ._   Page  64!/2-4006
"UBC is indeed fortunate in
being offered the services of
Mr. Lucifer, who is undoubtedly
the world's greatest authority
on criminal psychology," a high-
ranking staff official said Friday, after receiving Mr. Luci-.
fer's application for a staff position.
Mr. Lucifer, formerly in the1
employment of several large
religious associations, commentr
ed on his recent dismissal from
his last position; "I was as
surprised as the public when I
was notified that my services
were no longer required:"
After years of amazingly efficient servicer* Mr. Lucifer feels
that no one is better qualified
than he, and stated that he felt
sure that men of his ability are
in more demand today than ever
before. The dismissal, Mr. Lucifer stated, "was just like telling me to go to Hell."
As the faculties of Social
Work and Theology have no
vacancies at present, Mr. Lucifer has been offered positions
by both B & G and the Food
Services. Mr. Lucifer is undecided, however, and is considering
enrolling in Engineering, where,
to use his own words, 'although
I may have a devil of a time.
I am sure I'll make a hell of an
Engineer."
yyfojtfaAi b&mu&stm.
^,v4K^..S?'t:.j^3S:!S*-#M':''...H''---.:
>*a«
NOON
AUDITORIUM
xM.J\Mli
.#•*»*,{-*,*
£:.*^i'„X»V. ,[--£.  .
s m i
Attitom.
3 Tuesday, February 14, 1961
THE
RED      RAG
Page Two
:   mMME  JRhD   Mm/mW
Not   authorized   by   anyone,   the   RED  RAG   is   not  third   class   mail   or
fourth  class  for that matter. If a. copy should inadvertently be stuffed
into a mail  box,  we'll  all be in damn hot water with the postal auhor-
ities. This is definitely not an official urgan of the Alma Mater Society,
University   of    Bntish    Columbia,   as   anyone   who   knows   anything-   about
organs   will   testify.    Editorial   opinion   is   practically   non-existent,   but   if
anyone misconsrue.s   anything  herein  contained  as  serious  business,   no
one   takes   the  blame   for   it.
Editor    G.  D.   Raggett
I       CUP Editor       T.M.   Gordon
I       Bottle Editor      E. Meads
!       Jug  Editor          P.   Meehan
!       General Editors ---   C. Lok, L. Brown
'       General   Nuisance      E.   Hemmes
f       Vice Editors R. Mara, R. Hallisey, D. England
I       Sex Editor    E. Nielson
f       Nude  picture  Art   Editor       R.  McBean
'"      Moral' Advisor  Mrs.  Mary Worth
Beard Bath Photo Editor _'--_ G. Fielder
Layout    -   Feefe   LaFlesh
Bed Editors R. Van Ryswick, T. Nixon
The  Red  Rag  stands
unswervingly  £or:
1 BOB NOBLE
F OPERATIONS  FOR  ARTSMEN
j MORE BED CONTESTS . . . PUSHING OR OTHERWISE
SMALLER BUGS IN SUGAR CONTAINERS
1 SHORTER SKIRTS
AUSTRALIAN   IMMIGRANTS
CHASTITY 	
ENGINEERS
.. The finest men on Earth
It is not without a certain amount of relief that the Editorial
board sees this copy of our glorious faculty edition "to bed".
Now, the only thing left to write is a smashing editorial, summing up what is wrong with this campus, and we can all get back
to finding out if Newton really did mumble "sonofabitch" when
the apple bounced off his head.
It is unfortunate, indeed, that we have very little to complain
about. The Aggies are quietly chewing their cud, or whatever
Aggie chew, in their dilapidated pen next to the glistening
ENGINEERING BUILDING, the crew at Brock are still growing fat
and lazy from overindulgence, Artsmen are still Artsmen, the
Commies are still muttering something about Fink sinking the
John, and everyone has agreed that chastity is outmoded, with
the exception of my girlfriend.
It's just too damned bad that apathy is disappearing around
here. Even that vile little flyer. The Ubyssey, has agreed that
ENGINEERS are the finest men on earth (An extremely intelligent
atfitfude). The campus is getting so well organized^ a fellow can't
blow up Brock Hall, or drown an odd forester or two in the lily
pond, without a permit from  ISC.
Things have siunk to a new low.
And so to us, the glorious, intelligent, handsome, romantic,
debonair, humble, red shirts, this magnificent literary work is
modestly dedicated.
An interesting panel discussion was-, held at- noon Friday
in the spacious anteroom adjoining the mens' lavatory in the
basement of the  Chemistry Building.
Tope under dscussion was "Abortions" — Are They
Healthy?" Discussion was lively and interesting and served to
wrench loose many outmoded ideas and misconceptions corcerning
this timely question.
Panel members Dr. Gordon Rum, Dean Fyers, Miss O. Caster—
and Dean Wooley Muffler, of the Education Faculty,  explained
that abortions should cause no more ill effects, such as loss of
weight, than any other major operation.
"I recall orie interesting case, a lovely girl, who underwent
fourteen abortions in eleven months," recalled Dr. Muffler. "Or
maybe it was eleven abortions in fourteen months, I can never
remember which.
Drawing the audiences attention to the fact that abortions
have been performed for centuries, and were condoned by the
highest minds, Dean Fyers thoughtfully quoted several lines from
Shakespeare: "Duncan from his mother's womb untimely ripp'd."
Miss O. Castor, affectionately referred to by her colleagues as
"Old Soupspoon," endeared herself to the audience with her folksy
manner and earthy reminsences of thirty years of devoted service.
Dr. Rum stressed that all practioners were extremely accommodating and helpful.
"At your cervix, won't you step into my orifice," he chortled,
to the audience's vast amusement.
During the lively question period, Mr. Jack Bumfuzz, public
relations officer of Maiy Bollert Hall asked if cut rates were
available for mass production operations.
"Of course," replied the genial Dr. Fyres, "you shovel them
in and we'll shovel them out."
Miss Nancy LaJoy, hostess, wanted to know if these operations were covered under MSA. She was told "Not at present,
but there is certainly womb for improvement."
When asked how she enjoyed her work, Miss Castor replied,
"Perfectly ripping." ,>•->.
"n CSnWXfhm'
^>lilWilff||  '"
E   *        ^jS  „      *Y*.       \**1'       m* *
'»*£»      *•
•***
f9^~'-.+^"-™i
mt
FURY STURY WIDOW MURAL
Wants pawn term dare
worsted ladle gull hoe lift
wider murder honor itch offer lodge dock florist. Disk
ladle gull orphan warry putty
ladle rat cluk wider putty
ladle rat hut, end fur disk
raison pimple caulder "Ladle
Rat  Rotten Hut."
Wan mourning Rat Rotten
Hut's murder caulder inset.
"Ladle Rat Rotten Hut, here-
say basking winsome burden
barter end shirker cookies.
Tisk disk basking tudor cordage offer groin murder.
Shaker lake, dung stopper
laundry wrote, end yonder nor
sorghum stenches stopper
wet strainers." "Hoe cake
murder," resplendent Ladle
Rat Rotten Hut, end stuttered  oft.
Honor wrote tudor cordage
offer groin murder, Ladle
Rat Rotten; Hut mitten ana-;
malous woof..
"Oh  hoe,"   set  disk   abdominal   woof,  "effenescent  Ladle
■ Rat   Rotten    Hut.    Wares    or
putty     gull     goring     wizard
ladle  basking?"
"Amour   goring   tudor    cor
dage     offma    groin    murder,"
resplendent     ladle    gull.
"Grammer  seeking   bet."
"Heifer blessing woke!" set
disk wicket woof, butt taught
tomb shelf, "Oil tickle shirt
court, oil ketchur wider basking,  end den,  or  bore!"
Soda wicket woof tickle
shirt court tudor cordage offer groin murder end whin-
ney wretched a cordage offer
groin murder he picked inner
widow end sore debtor pore
oil worming worse loin inner
bet. Zany hitter pore oil
worming inner closet, end
pool dawn der groin murder's
nat cup end nat gun.
Inner ladle wile Ladle Rat
Rotten Hut a raft utter cordage end ranker dough ball.
"Comb ink sweat hard," set
disk wicket woof disgracing
is verse.
Ladle Rat Rotten Hut comb
ink end whine see sore disk
wicket woof see set "Or
grammer, wort bag icer gut,
a nervous sore suit bag ice."
"Batter do seechew whiff,"
inserter woof.
"Or grammer water bag
noise, a nervous sore suture
noise."
"Batter small hew whiff,"
inserter woof, ants mouse
waddling.
"Or grammer water bag
mouse, a nervous sore suture
bag  mouse."
"Batter heat hew whiff,
deer." ants her woof.
Inner flesh disk curl end
bloat thursday woof ceased
pore Ladle ilat Rotten Hut
end   garbled   erupt.
Mural: Yonder nor sorghum stenches shut ladle
gulls stopper torque wet
stainer's.
dfwloqij.
The Red Rag wishes to
convey its apology to Mr.
David Edgar for inadvertently suggesting in a former issue that Mr. Edgar
was drunk all day last December 14.
The Rag begs the forgiveness of the offended person
and earnestly hopes that no
damage has been done to his
good name. The paper in no
way meant to imply that
Edgar was even slightly intoxicated to any degree
whatsoever. If this impression was received this paper
hereby apologizes.
We would like to assure
all readers that David Edgar
was sober all day the fourteenth of December.
Critics' Corner
I don't think any one  is any
damn good.
I'll bet you never come this way again Tuesday, february  14,   1961
T H E
R ED      RAG
If o'L^elTV
w«k«  l«i<i «nd to Q*\d
m tH« ba$#*»«nfr of
BROCK WALL
vfr
Page Three
^i":^...*. . ^.^
backards
is
"AGGIE"
IT IS MADE OF COMPRESSED GUM WRAPPERS, KLEENEX, APPLE PEELS, AND
CIGARETTE BUTTS, CARRIED TO THE CAMPUS BY GREAT TREKKERS WHO SAW
NO SENSE IN TROMPING TWENTY MILES CARRYING HEAVY STbNES
;
THEY ARE OVERGROWN BOYS!
A TWO HEADED
CALF
was born in the house
of Bettina W. Forbish
SB
■'UT-.   ^i-r(.r-
who, although her
husband was an Aggie
had been hoping for
a baby
MAY BE OBSERVED ON SATURDAY EVENINGS
ON MARINE DRIVE
TURNING   INTO   BUSHES!
PRESENT DAY ENGINEERS ARE STILL USING HIS
TECHNIQUES   WITH   EQUALLY   SUCCESSFUL
RESULTS!
Sex was invented by a civil
engineer, Herman G. Sex
who, after preliminary experimentation, screamed
'Eureka," sold his transit,
bought a mattress company and was never heard
from again.
JACK WATERMAIN...
ULL HARDER, Ma, the damn
ncrete's setting:up."
THE    CLOWNS    AROUND
US — Latest thing in charity
drives is a campaign for parts
being organized by the Arts
faculty, N. O. Balzatol spokesman for tiie group, was asked
to comment. 'What we need
are two for each male in arts,"
he said. "Our goal is 8,000,
but the boys may settle for
one each." — Lots of luck
N.O.!
In the field of campus politics, some confusion has arisen
over the Initials of the Agriculture Undergraduate Society and the new Arts Undergraduate Society. When asked
about this matter, one Aggie
giggled bashfully and murmured something about a merger.
This reporter owes the
F.U.S. an apology. The hand-
holding incident described in
yesterday's column was not
what it seemed. The two Foresters were not caressing each
other, but were merely passing love letters.
* . * *
WALKIE TALKIE—A rumour making the rounds of the
dimly-lit corners of campus
coffee spots may have a grain
of truth in it. Buildings and
Grounds has signed a contract
with the T. Beaton Company
for delivery of six carloads
of old catalogues. Mr. Hughes
was not available for comment but a member of B&G's
staff toid  me that the glossy;
paper would be in use in most
campus washrooms within the
month.—A well-known habitue' of the coffee shop revealed yesterday that John Pan-
Irucke? has been offered a position with the University
Book Store. He reassured all
those within earshot that prices were not expected to be
any more unreasonable than
usual.
* * *
FINISH LINES—A reasonably well-informed source in
Brock brought in an interesting bit of council news. It
seems that the Blue Blazer
Club has decided to set up a
committee to look into student,  activities.    Gabe    Dead-
gear feels that this facet of
council's job has long been
overlooked.
James Hoppa is reportedly
making a bid to organize the
drivers of campus car pools.
The Teamster boss has spent
a good deal of time with his
advisors on this problem and
issued a statement yesterday.
"We—ah—expect dat dis will
clear up a lot of your troubles," he said. "How can da
kids get mad wit Buster's
when dey all belong to da
same union?"—Well, I'll tell
you, Jim.
WATERMANIA . _ _ Help
keep oui campus clean—show
an Aggie where the washrooms are. ,: Page Four
Raggett for village wand waver.    THE
RED      RAG
Tuesday, February 14,  1961
'TWEEN CLASSES
FREE   LOVE   SuCIETY
Guest speaker will undress a>
meeting today at noon in Bu.
100.   Old members free,  others
50c.
* *       *
BIOLOGY  CLUB
Famed Iconoclast, Dr. Brock
Chisholm will give a talk and
show'slides on 'The Private Life
of the Stork" or 'What Goes On
in the Nest After Hours." First
year Arts are urged to hear this
enlightening speaker in Biological Sciences  2321.
ARTISTS CLUB
RCMP & Marshall-Wells men
"will   discuss recent theft of  20
gallons of red paint. Bu. 4931 at
12:30.
* *       *
I.S.C.
Members will assemble op the
south end of the- Main Mall at
noon today to make a final attempt at lowering the hapless
member who inadvertedly hung
himself from the flag pole while
setting a world upside down
hanging record. Everybody out
... he's beginning to stink up
the place.
RECITAL:
Come and hear Jock Strap
and his elastic band.   12:30.
.   .- * '.X&t:.	
"DAMNIT, NORM, we'll have
to raise fees a g a i n. VValt
wants a new car and, Myers
has his heart set on a trip to
Australia."
*>»/», * *%♦**»»»*
POETS COftNfft;
MAY  I  FEEL
SAID  HE
may i feel said he
<i'll squeal said she
just once said he)
it's fun said she
may i touch said he
(how  much  said   she
a lot  said he)
why  not said  she
(let's go said he
not too far   said she
what's too far said he
where you are said she)
(may i stay said he
(which  way  said   she
like this  said he)
if you  kiss said  she
may i move said he
is it love said she
if  you're willing said   he
(but you're killing said she)
but; it's life said he
but your wife said she *
now said  he
(ow  said she)
(tip top  said he
don't stop said she
oh no said he)
go slow   said  she
(cccome? said he
ummtn said she)
you're devine! said he
i..; {you are. mine  said s,he) .
— e,  e.  cummings
CLASSIFIED
ENGINEER desires female travelling companion for trip
south (S.W. Marine Dr.) Apply only in groups of 5 or
more. CA 9-2507.    -■
WANTED: 3 professional hostesses to entertain at rushing
functions. Kappa Sigma Barf,
4900 Westnook Cres.
A PARABLE
One day three men — a lawyer, a doctor, and an engineer
— appeared before St. Peter
as he stood- guarding the pearly
gates.
The first man to step forward
was the lawyer. With confidence
and assurance, he proceeded to
deliver an eloquent address
which left St. Peter dazed and
'bewildered. Before the venerable Saint could recover, the
lawyer quickly handed him a
writ of mandamus, pushed him
aside, and strode through the
open portals.
Next came the doctor. With
impressive, digniped bearing,
he introduced himself: "I am
Dr,-Btown." St. Peter received
him cordially. "I feel I know
you, Dr. 3i-Own. Many who preceded you said you sent them
here. Welcome to our city!"
The engineer, modest and different, had been standing in the
background. He now stepped
forward. "I'm looking for a job,"
he said." St, Peter wearily shook
his phead. ''I am sorry," he re.
plied, ''we have no work for
yotii. If yett want a job- you can
goto hell/'
This response sounded familiar to the engineer, and made
him feel more at home. "Very
well," he said, "I have had hell
all my life and I guess I caii
stand it better than the others:"
St. Peter was puzzled. "Look
here, young man, what are
you?" "I am an engineer," was
the reply. "Oh yes," said St.
Peter. 'Do you belong to the
Locomotive Brotherhood?" "No,
I am sorry," the engineer replied apologetically, "I am a
different kind of engineer." "I
do not understand," said St.
Peter, "what on earth do you
do?" The engineer recalled a
definition and calmly replied:
'I apply mathematical principles
to the control of natural forces."
This sounded meaningless to
St. Peter, and his temper got the
best of him. 'Young man," he
said, "you can go to hell with
your mathematical principles
and try your hand on some of
the natural forces  there!"
"That suits me," responded
the engineer, "I am always „lad
to go where there is a tough job
to tackle." Whereupon he departed for the nether regions.
And it came' to pass that
strange reports began to reach
St. ^ter^..T^|iteS<|iU;^niffi^
who had. amused themselves in
the past by looking down upon
the less fortunate creatures in
the Inferno, commenced asking
for transfers to that other domain.
The sounds of agony and suffering were stilled. Many new
arrivals, after seeing both places, selected the nether regions
for their permanent abode! Puzzled, St. Peter sent messengers
to visit hell and to report back
to him.      .    ;
They -returned,: all excited,
and- reporteci to St, Peter: "That
engineer you sent down ^here,"
said the messengers, "has completely transformed the place
so that you would not'know it
now.
He - has harnessed the fiery
furnaces for light and power. He
has cooled the entire place with
artificial refrigeration. He has
drained the lakes- ef brimstone
and has filled the air with cool
perfumed breezes. He has flung
bridges across the bottomless
abyss and has bored tunnels
through the obsidian cliffs. He
has created paved streets, gardens, parks, and playgrdunds,
lak;es., -rivers and beautiful waterfalls.
That engineer you -sent down
theTerhaS-gone through hell and
has made of it a realm of happiness, peace, and industry!"
FOR SALE: Imported bed-
warmer, size 38-26-38; reason
for sale;. ill health. Call
"Pooped" at AL 9853.
PERSONAL: Courageous young
woman required for reward-
i n g psychological experiments. Apply EUS.
Arfsman's Guide
to Engineering
In order to aid Artsmen with
their new technical courses,
the following list of. Engineering terms has been prepared.
Airship hull — A whole airship.
Airship   hull  —: whole airship.
Arctic front — An attitude assumed by a uncooperative coed.
Brazier —  A  garment used -to
minimize  the  effects   of flutter and vibration.
Die casting '— A form of gambling.
Hand forging — An.illegal form
of penmanship.
Hydrogen -*- An alchholic beverage composed of watejr and
gin.
Lock washer — One who. washes
locks.
Mating  Jig — An animal  husbandry accessory.
Ohrnmeter—One who eats ohms,
(ohm   cooking;;   ohm     made
jam). ;
Resisting Moment — A short
moment during which an arctic front exists. (Usually occurs prior to mutual inductances). '
Skin Drag *— dance done at a
nudist colony.
Stress — Force that must be applied   to  make   a body yield.
Strain  —   Deformation  due  to
application    of    force,     (see
pregnancy).
Thermite — A small insect that
eats houses.
Thermocouple   — Newlyweds.
FOR SALE: Large Enterprise,
sure-fire money maker; 16
employees, large weekly turnover. Apply No. 5356601, Cell
40, BIOKE, Oakalla.
STEAL: Graduate's back robe,
used once. Just dandy for surprise parties. Apply Bob
Noble, EUS  office.
LOST: Will someone please return my slide rule? Dr. Erd-
mann, Physics 338.
ENGAGEMENTS; Mr. and Mrs.
H. McKay of Victoria proudly
announce the engagement of
the eldest daughter, Jack, to
Mr. Neil Paget, local playboy.
FOR SALE: Piano stool by
young lady with stuffed seat
and bent legs. Will adjust by
screwing up or down. Box
123.
PEELING
(continued  from   page   one)
arrested was a banana peeling,
carelessly tossed on the Main
Mall by Jamie .Smurg .(Arts il);
Geography major)-'        ' ",
It was- arrested in: flight by
Building and Grounds fpatrol-
man C. Flick (Planting Department) (Grass and- small shrubs)
who warned Smurg that further
violations of the* anti-litter-taws
would be dealt With severely. A
ticket was written, and Smurg
was towed away   by Fusters.
LEGALS
ENGINEERING
UNDERGRADUATE   SOCIETY
TENDERS FOR REMOVAL
AND   DEMOLITION OF
AGRICULTURAL   BUILDING
'Sealed lejiuera audr^ssed. to
the undersigned and endorsed
"Tender for demolition and removal, Agriculture Building,
University of British Columbia'',
will be received in-the office of
the President,'" Engineering Undergraduate Society, University
of British Columbia, until 2:30
pirn:; February 28, ..''1981:'.
Forms or tender may be obtained at the aforementioned
office. .-.'.•-■'
R. Noble,
President.
Rag international
news
Russia' fired a '4OTtyj-ton atomic
ballistic missile at the .United
States this morning:
9 dh&am&d § vi&ibul £jwch cafatoua...
. . *^^bs^^^ita^-..:^^flBcA0^»-,^Sc%B^B0bft^-

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