UBC Publications

UBC Publications

UBC Publications

The Ubyssey Jan 8, 1952

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• *
Women, Three Men Debate
Armament In Cup Finals
Four UBC law students with diverse political affiliations
will debate the resolution "Western Rearmament is Detrimental
to Peace," for the McGowan Cup finals.
Joan Sn&.pe, the flret woman on
the team In three ye*rt, will go to
Saskatoon with Tom Fmnck to
meet the U of Saskatchewan.
From Toronto, Joan Is In tier
tlr.i:*l year of taw. She also bas biff
Treasure of the .Potttfcat and
Scientific executive and active on
several organisation* including
the UN and Pt^Haimeutary Forum.
Tom Franck firm born la Btrtin.
aermany but tool tftos* ot btl ed-
uoatlon here.
Ron Cheffins and Sttt Turner
who Are both, from tlm aast wlU
compete with the U of Maoitobw
in Brock Hall January IS at 3:80
p.n). Uie official day for all df
Jeff, who •po|« ever "Town
H»ir radio profrajn latt week hatln
from New Weetmtotter but -took
Mi arts degree In MoGtll. He's affiliated with the oampua ftofteeelve-
Conswvatire Club.
A -former preaident of the university CCF Patty, Cheffini is second year law, ia a native of Ste.
\n*ne "De Bellvue, Quebec.
Studenta won offer heavy cam-
petition to become the UBC rtpe.
AII are members of parliamentary
forum. / '
Winners of the finals in prairie
division will go to Ottawa where
the domlnloA champioiwhlp will
be held. •
The two teams from UBC work
together and not as -separate units.
Bach pair has a possibility of
getting tour points. Baob of the
three judges at every debate Elves
the point and if thedr deokrtoo is
unanimous tbe winning team gets
four points.
Altogether tbe quartet ha a
ros»iWi»t>- of getting iight pbtnts
but this total is seldom attained.
UBC last won the cup two years
igo. At that time 'they also took
the dominion finals.
Those on the team were: AIIIb-
ter Fraser, Rod Young, Don Lanskail iiid  Medlande Metcalfe.
Debaters remarked that Dean of
Law, George F. Curtis also won
the cup during his years as a law
NO. 33
Ubyssey's V. Fred
IN VANCOUVER, we have a strange kind of rain that
turiu white and piles up in the street around this time
of thfe year.
CaUed snow, 90 per cent of this substance has fallen
on thi campus, of the University of B.p.
One student, V. Fred Edwards, reported that he has abandoned
his car near the Law building. The tip of his radio arlal is'still
visible, he said. •     *
LOW ATTENDANCE at classes  has  beeb attributed  to  the
heavy snowfall. Fourteen students, \t has been  rumoured,  were
smothered -In the Jttitffy ^J»ijM> »ti\iU.... *.-..,,. ■..**, ~— «.„, ,.,T„...',  ..,
"x       BXPEkTS 8AY that either 28 Inches or 28 feet or snow has
fallen on the oatnpuB in the past few days.
Students  Eligible
For  Scholarships
The Leonard Foundation awards
tveh year a nutehor of scholarships for whicli ['IH' students are
*ellgil)U>.      ♦
Interested students can secure
applications from Professor, F. II.
Soward, a member of the Oeneral
Comniiit.ee of the Foundation, at
■Ms'office in the auditorium.
These forms ;*re then forwarded
to the Honorary Secretary of tlie
Foundation, care of Toronto (len
ei;il Trusts Corpora tion, '-''>.! Hay
Street, Toronto, not later than
March  "H.
Application-, should bo filed In
February since* awards arc mad**
al I lu* annual nieotiii'; of I he (!en
cral   Ciiiuinii ice   on    ,\leiv   ", I.
UN Plans
THE U.N. CLUB Is holding u
special business meeting today at
12:30 In Art 100. Main topic of
liscus'sion will be constitution.
The business of the coming year
will also be discussed. Only paid
members allowed.
* *       *
TICKETS for this year's Mardi
Grc..s ball will go on sale this
Thursday at the AMS office and
at the entrance to the cafeteria.
The theme of tills year's ball ls
"Mardi Gras In Hades". It will be
held on Thursday, Jan. 17 and
Friday, Jan. 18.
* *       *
Committee Invites all groups on
the campus to send representatives to their meeting ln the Men's
Club Room, Brock Hall, Friday,
January 11, 12:30 noon.
* *       *
THE VARSITY Outdoor Club's
weekly meetings will begin Wednesday  noon  lu  Engineering  200.
* *       *
THE SQUARE Dance demonstration group meets Wednesday at
fi  p.m.  in   H04.
ff.        *        #.
facilities of the B.C. Electric, Is
sponsoring a showing of the Royi.1
Visit of H.ll.H. Princess Elisabeth
and Prince I'lilllp. Showing 'In
the Auditorium at noon today.
Filmsoc is proud to present this
movie as a public service. No admission   will   lie   charged.
Mike Ryan, president of the Commerce Undergraduate
Society, *has in addition to his many activities taken over
the position of City Editor of the Ubyssey.
' As City Editor, Ryan will be in charge of all news
stories, other than sports. It will be his job to see that the
Ubyssey covers all the important news on the campus.
Other appointments confirmed by Editor-in-Chief Les
Armour are Alex MacGillivray from Sports Editor to Managing Editor, Barry Drinkwater as Sports Editor, Dennis
Blake as Senior Editor, V. Fred Edwards as Rewrite Editor.
MacGillivray replaces part-time student Doug Heal,
former managing editor, who has gone on day shift at the
Daily Province.
Neen On Job
Despite Tiff
USC Forgets Walkout,
Proxy Re-affirms Stand
, Bill Neen, Chairman pf the Undergraduate Societies Committee and member of Student Council, is still in office in spite
of his dramatic action at the last AMS meeting.
< In the heat of debate over Les
Armour and \ the* 'Publications
Board, Neen condemned the compromise action of Student's Council as not solving anything. He tore
off his Councillor* gown and walked off the plattofm.
"I have not changed my attitude
since then," be Said following the
USC meeting Monday noon. ."I still
Intend to hold my. own and the
USC's opinion a» tar as Council is
The USC still seems to assume
thet Neen ls their head. At their
Monday meeting the USC did not
voice any disapproval of his actions
and Neen stated that „their lack
or opinion would be taken as approval.
When asked what ihe meaning
of actions i*.*t the AMS meetln'g
were he stated that "It was just
the 'heat of the moment.*'
The USC does not consist of «ie
presidents of ithe undergraduate societies but of representatives appointed by the presidents or in
some ewes elected.
Suspicion of the Ubyesey was
■voiced ■* -■•&?* •*th»"^«ow*Bir"*i5iidOTfI"
feradubte editions, when the Executive Editor was asked for a list
of dates when each group would
be publishing.
Brainy Athletes
At Washington U.
SEATTLE — (Special) — Athletes do have brains. Denying the
falsely accepted law that all football players are vaclous athletes
who thrive on gridiron performances and use the classroom as an
extra-curricular activity Jim O'Brien, Huskies' regular defensive
tackle, and Ernie Furnla, Washington's No. 1 reserve back, received recognition for their scholastic accomplishments.
Les, Mac Call
For Help
flew managing editor Alex
Maollllvray and editor In ehlef
Le» Armour, are having their
troubles these days.
There Just Isn't a big enough
staff to handle the Job ef pub-
lishlng the Ubyasey.
Both lads hsxe extended (n>
vltatlons te Interested students
to Join the pub. Come down
Campus To
UBC will have Its first private
theatre with the advent of tho
"P. O. Wood"'barrack theOsre bow
being built in the two large barrack buildings recently vacated by
the Totem Coffee Bar.
The theatre Is named tor former
professor F. O. \yood who founded
the Pkyertj' Club and directed it
for sixteen years.
Miss Dorothy Somerset, who has
jH^^r&v-a^,iiurolwid*«*«» WBC
dramatics since 1983 Says Uie pro-
Ject will be "an intimate theatre."
At present the cast of "Pfl" 1b
utilizing the unfinished barracks
for rehearsals and set building.
The department is making plans
for raising money for the theatre
When completed the F. G. Wood
Theatre will be used only by uni
versity departments and will not
be available to outside clubs.
Monkey Puts Campus In Dither
Bites Finger Of Ex-AMS Pres
Students who thought, thoy
were over New Year's Eve took
a second look ln front of the
library Monday noon. Monkey
business was again rampant on
the UBC campus.
What they saw waa one bell-
ringing, screaming monkey being pushed around in a cage on
a wheelbarrow by Glenn (Mark,
advertising 'manager of the
Film Society, who dreamed up
the stunt to advertise tonight's
production, "Kind Hearts and
Just what the connection between the caged iwithropoid and
"Kind Hearts and Coroii'-'ts" Is.
no one seemed to know, Clark,
claimed that the wacky campaign was designed to "browbeat, push or scare the scholars of this institution Into seeing  the  movie.''
The traveling zoo wus adorned with signs warning passers-by "Beware, he bites!" and
"Please don't feed the animals".
Another one said "lie's nuts
nnd so are you If yon don't see
the forth-coming film society
production "Kind Hearts and
One Interested spectator was
Nonie Donaldson, last year's
AMS, president, who ventured a
little too close to the cage for
comfort and retired much increased in wisdom and minus
one finger.
The    monkey,    called     "Bill
.Day" by his keeper, Is rumored
to be a former UBC student who
reverted to type as a result of
climbing up to the auditorium
windows to view Filmsoc's
smash  hits free of charge.
Students who don't want to
suffer a similar fate had better
'pay 25c «*t the door. Show
times are 3:45, 6:00 and 8:15
Beginning January 3, 1952, overnight loans of duplicate
materials in the Reserve Book Room will be available at
4:30 p.m. instead of 9 p.m. If there is only one copy in the
Library it will be held for use in the Library until 9 p.m.
Books may be reserved for night use any time during the
The new schedule of fines for overdue books will be
twenty-five cents a day at the main Loan Desk and Twenty-
five cents an hour in the Reserve Book Room.
Fines will herafter be paid at the Office of the University Accountant and not at the Loan Desk.
Phil Says
Pay Money
AMS Is not faced with financial
collapse after all.
In a meeting with representatives of the Bank of Montreal, AMS
officials were told that there Will
be no crack-down on Students
Council even though they did not
meet the Christmas payment on
their $60,000 loan for construction
of the War Memorial Oym.
The hank agreed to accept a
token pv ymetit of $15,000 by Christinas, but even this amount didn't
come In. AMS has received only
about $7,000 in gym pledges up to
The AMS will make an attempt
to uncover as many new sources
of revenue as possible. But trefc*s-
tirer Phil Anderson told the Ubyssey Monday that It's still up to
the students.
"We need those gym pledges."
he said.
THE SCOTTISH country dance
club will meet Wednesday noon
In 1KII.
#       *       *
UBC DANCE CLUB wilt hold its
first session of '52 Thursday noon
in   HOil.   Everyone out!
tf.       #       *
JAZZ 80C. vvill have a rare
chance to hear '"The .lazz Scene"
Album, at 12:30 Tuesday In the
Hrock   Double   Committee   Uoom.
Council   announces   that   registration   for   Spring   Rushing   is   now
! open in the cashier's wicket. In the
: AMS  office. Page Two
Tuesday, January 8, 1952
Authorized as second class mail by tha Post Office Dept. Ottawa. Student subscriptions
$1.20 per year (Included in AMS fees). Mail subscription $2.00 pr. year. Single copies
five cents. Published throughout the University year by the Student Publications Board
of the Alma Mater Society, University of British Columbia, Editorial opinions expressed
herein are those of the editorial staff of the Ubyssey, aud not necessarly those of the
Alma Mater Society or of the University.
Offices ln Bfock Hall, Phone ALm/a 1824 For dUplay advertising, phone ALma 3253
Executive Editor—ALLAN GOLDSMITH Managing Mttpi'—ALEX J, MaoOJLLiyRAY
News Editor, V. Fred Edwards; City Editor, Mike Ryan; GUP Bdltor, Sheila Kearne;
Women's Editor, Florence McNeil; Fine Arts Editor, John Brockington; Copy Editor,
Jean Smith; Director of Photography Bruce Jaffray; Swiior Editors: Sheila Kearns,
Elslo Oorbat, Denis Blake: Editorial Writers: Joe gchleslng'er, Chuck Coon and Dot
Auorbach. -..',.,.....,,.
Letters'to the Editor should be restricted to 150 words. The* U'byssey reserves the right
to cut letters and cannot guarantee to publish all letters received. •
- r*
NEW YEAR'S luck dogged the AMS Friday when they
met with representatives of the Bank of Montreal. Although students turned in only $7,000 before Christmas of a
token $15,000, the bankers have decided npt to crack down
on student council.
The two partief agreed to find "other sources" to meet
the $60,000 note as soon as possible.
Finances of the" individual student are shaky before
•Christmas, it is true, but that is insufficient excuse for failing
to pay money promised to the War Memorial Oym Fund.
It's about time the War Memorial Gym Fund Committee
got cracking. If a student committee cannot gej; students to
pay a small percentage of the money they promised to help
build their own gymnasium, how reliable will these students
be with financial responsibilities in "adult life"?
It seems hard to believe that such students are of the
same breed who participated in the Great Trek of the 1920's
and demanded action on a new university.
Now with the threat of exams removed for another few
months, there is little excuse for UBC students not paying
their share of the original $60,000 note.
We Like Ike; But . .
GENERAL Eisenhower has answered the $64 qeustion by
confirming that he will stand as presidential candidate
if drafted by the Republican convention to be held in Philadelphia. ,
The General has certainly kept pundits across the continent in copy letting them speculate on the obvious for such
a long time.. Now they will be able to place their Ibets on the
outcome of the race.
Ike's greatest asset seems to be his charming unsoldierly
smile. The Big Smile has an edge on Sourf ace Bob.
However great this personal charm may be, it is slightly
incongruous that a country which prides itself on the civilian
character of its armed forces should consider a professional
soldier for* its chief civilian executive post. Democracy does
not thrive under the rule of generals however well-intentioned
they may be.
The candidacy of the general in 1951 is not just a delayed
symptom of post-war hero worship. It is a militant blare of di-
fiance to hide growing American uncertainty.
If the world situation today is as perilous as the Americans seem to fear, Eisenhower could best serve his country
by staying in Europe and continuing the work which he has
been preforming with such success and to which he is eminently suited.
Ike's status as a soldier, diplomat and statesman is assured.
Risking his reputation and the welfare of the'country to the
yet untried hazards of politics is uneconomical.
Having thus summarily disposed of Eisenhower, we must
admit we seem slightly kindlier inclined towards him on viewing the other horses in the Republican stables. ■
The rest of the candidates for the Republican candidature
are embittered repeaters. They are at it again but have nothing new to offer. Ike at least has a progressive attitude on
foreign policy and the experience to back it. He has no political experience but his administrative capabilities are proven.
The Republicans of today are men whose,sole experience
stems from their "eternal" role of oppositionism.
A five-star general in the White House would probably
imbue Americans with a false sense of security. It certainly
will not fool or intimidate the Russians.
Sixteen UBC Girls
Attended Conference
THE 16th Quadrennial Conference of the Student Volunteer movement \vas held on the Kansas University
campus during the Christmas holidays. Sixteen members of
UBC's Student Christian Movement attended.
THE THEiMK of the conference was "The Christian in the
World Struggle." Dr. Charles Ranson of New York, in enlarging
thenne, said that regardless of physical world unity attained by miracles of science, the world ha.s never before been ho deeply and
perilously divided  both .spiritually and  Ideologically.
* * #
A real sense of world unity
whicli   was  attended   by   *j:.('i.
prevailed, however, at tho conference
«,,,,, , yoiitii;   people,   lncludiiiK   *."i»U   foreign
students, and representing 4i>  Protestnnd denominations
An international picture of Christianity todnv was presented
speakers  from   Asia,   the   Middle   East.  Africa,   and   South   America.
■MTKill   study   groups   were   formed   for   discussion
problems. M
of   major   world
at informal fiie-sid
I'niversily  donus.
* * *
who were encoura-cd to make new acquaintences,
I1*, siim-soiiu-s, and mixers, were billeted in Kansas
BJWSPAPERS seldom Indulge in blowing their"
own horns. And when they Uo,
they are quite subtle about It.
But subtle as*f a brewery
truck Is one paper thb<t shines
downtown every afternoon. On
the front page or Thursday's
issue, two columns wide, was
the loudest honk I've ever
*F *r *r
Among its employees the
paper listed "Canada's highest
paid columnist," "Canada's
greatest satirest and humorist
since Stephen Leacock," "the
top Canadian woman writer of
1961," "the dean of Canadian
writers," "the most widely read
and travelled writer in Canada," and "Che cleverest cartoonist in Canada."
Other staffers were sloughed off without superlatives.
These included a veteran columnist, tn outdoor writer, and a
woman's favorite.
(Newspapermen lure notorious for their distrust of adjectives in news columns. And
superlatives are only for Hollywood press agents and polltl-
Granted, these accolhdes
may be well deserved. But I
disagree with one statement—
"No other paper can boast a
list  as  outstanding  as   this:*'
#*       *       *
The Ubyssey can. Watch
CHUCK COON ~ Canada's
lowest paid columnist with
fewer Canadian readers than
any other columnist.
ada's lousiest satirest and humorist since Joe Miller!
Canadian woman writer of
1951, saluted by the Kerrisdale
Courier, The Quesnel Times
and  the Grand  Forks Gazette.
writer, Mongolian Hand-ball
■authority, expert with the
scotch rnd soda, member of
the 1952 Icelandic Pinochle
team,   bull-shooting champion,
JOE SCLE8INQER — Narrowest travelled and read writer In Canada; nr.il-chewing,
fast-talking,   nervous,
FLO MacNEIL — Men's favorite  for  her writing around.
by experts as the best er&p-
s'hooter In Canada. His deft delivery deflates the defence and
bowls   over   back-sliders.
9p rp ■jry,
Culture editor and rouse whose
experience and criticisms &re
plumbed by leading publications in West Point Grey and
Spanish banks. Has a heavy
edge over most columnists.
of Prince Rupert writers, .editor
emeritus of .the Prince Rupert
High School Times-Journal, whose
hundreds of friends give her old
and unusable news stories.
*r *r *r
All this headed by the hopelessly disorganized news tea.m of Managing* Kditor A. J. "Almac" MacGillivray and Executive Editor Al
Goldsmith assure Ubyssey readers
of the most wrappable paper in
Tiie Ubyssey ls really getting
in itbfe red .wtltto its) Jthiekt-pllftiof.
papers and ci&*4e from plaops,
ag fer  as  Czechoslavakla and
Bras|l. .,-, a.
The student p*vper scored an
honorable mention in the red
dominated International Student's Union pamphlet in Prague. .. .-,      .:...., .
Tiie bulletin praises t\ie Ubyasey tor its vigorous campaign
agvlnst the Increase lar student
fee?—'the second after Hwo
year*/  . ■.,..,'■   *,.',
With* any. more such juicy
mentions in pink papers, the
Ubyssey Js liable to find itself
on McCarthy's big list of "dangerous persons."
Also red in keeping withe the
■soaaon,. vrm &• sexy cheesecake
Gateway Cr.w
EDMONTON — '(CUP) — -Student's Counoil haa established* an
adviapry. board,, to be known as the
Permanent Advisory GoAimlMrion
to conduot t41 the Major work* of
the gateway.
The decision to establish such
a commission was reached as a result of the recommendation of the
inquiry conducted recently by members of the Student's Council and^ .
by senior editors of tbe Gateway.
The new body will be responsible
for *»everal major items of Gateway work, Including appointment
of senior personnel and setting of
major policy.
pic on the cover of the Gazette
from the University of Western
Ontario. A femme fatale draped over a .chimney in a brief,
out' ot season costume, kept
cold, editors w&rm for several
"But," quipped one intelligent
editor discussing the makeup/
"it's blurry &nd leaves much to
the imagination." We ask wliat
else does he expect for free?
•r *r *r
From Montreal comes a bulletin from tlje Brazilian govern-
News & Views
meut praising investment opportunities in the country and
suggesting* Canadian students
A list; of the many opportunities for sinking money in the
romantic south Is-avaiLOile for
ainy students who have any
money left after the holidays.-
And just think or the many fair
seniorities who would be willing
to help.
"The College Coyote" of Idaho,
hae a few ideas for people who
still  haven't  lost  their  spirits
*r *r *F
They dunked their Dean of
men In- a tub of cold water dur
ing their Trail Ciwnlval. Sounds
» •
A reply to. Chuck Coon's
"Fudge for the New Year."
If short of copy, this may aid
in filling up some Insignificant
corner. *v
V. Scott.
Does Mr. Chuck Coon mean to
Infer that  he Is  up  a tree?
I have heard many weird and
wonderful tules since coming
back but I have heard none as
liig'h as Mr. Coon.
Perhaps Mr. Boss shoul(J ro-
mind Mr. Coon that perhaps the
part session is over and th&t it
ls time to come down to earth.
'Perhaps Mw. Coon would- then
have a few choice words to add.
Mr. Goon strikes me as being
a ihember of Che AA (Elbow
benders anonionyruous) but as
a staunch 'member of'the ATOS
(Active Tippers Organization.)
1 strike him back, give me an
other piece of fudge or I'll make
a stump of your tree.
As I wandered aimlessly
through Mr. Coon's vagary, 1
got lost somewhere about breakfast time New Year's morning.
He tnunvbled something about
Ohlna and Chop sticks a*nd holding on to something with two
Then out of nowhere some
Chinese girl eooe "You need
practice," Doubtless someone
was wishing someone else a belated happy new year. ,
As far as the old B.C. custom goes, I ha*ve no fear of the
neighborhood- waking me* when
they come In around sunrise. I
have found a simple solution.
For those who are interested
the formula ls as follows:
"Go out early pass out late;
stity out for a ooitple of days."
Enclosed herewith please find
$100 for my membership In tho
Varsity Indoor Club, I sincerely
hope I have the honor of being
the first fed up member.
I assure, you, Chuck, I'll be n
most eager member. In order to
accomplish more I'll narrow my
field of activity and specialize
In Canasta, I assure you I "have
not yet acquired any radical
convictions in this field—a new
one to me. I learned the game
(among other things) botween
5 aud t> a.m. January 1, 19,*>2.
P.S. There Is a prize for any
one able to find that $100. Do
have another piece of fudg-e -
sticky, isn't it?
Self it ,
•    EASILY   *
3 Lesions S6.00.10 Lessons $16.00
Frances Murphy
■      Donee School
Alma Hall
8679 W. iroadway
-•—~        BA8428
like a worthy project tor UBC
redshirts, Directions available.
Manchester's "official organ"
gives Ubyssey an insight into
the problems of importing c
student from USSR. A NS delegate to Russia complained that
he had little opportunity to talk
to actual students, but his men-
'tion that Russia is Interested
in pe.voe gives poBtlcal-mjnded
students a new view on the
East-West problem.   *
9ft ■****• *lp     ■ i >
A Christmas card addressed
to "The IllegitHnate. Children
of the Publications Board" com
03 from Iris Sanderson, ex-editor of the paper who Is now in ,
Iris sadly underestimates the
naff of Ubyssey when she pessimistically suggests tliere wa«
, an absence of ruin In the flltng
Greetings also comes front "a
former pkymate" (ex-sports
editor Chick Turner) and Don
Brown who used to supply
newcomers to the pub with th,p
HollywoodLs'h newspaper atmosphere, that beginners seem to
expect. The 'brazon dictator,
now with the "Province" ls assistant promotion manager to
Dick Dlespecker.
\mUU*UL*X.S   . J«
11    II    I'MIINI
1038 Seymour St. Vancouver, B.C.
MISINTf   *   t
Version ^O
The Meteorological Division of the Department of Transport has
Employment Opportunities for University Graduates, or Senior
Students, with Credits in Physios and Mathematics.
Details and application forms at your university Placement Office
or nearest 'Civil Service Commission Office. Also at National Employment Offices and Post Offices.
Hrs.: 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Saturdays 9 a.m. to noon
i      -  i    i ■ ■ '
Loose Leaf Note Books, Exercise Books
And Scribblers
Owned and Operated by thc University of B.C. ,; ftTmato ImmA 19M
Page Three
^ S expected the usual number of students flunked. English
.200 this year. The main reason why students take the
count on English 200 is their inability to master Paradise Lost,
Johnny Milton's long-winded epic.
In other years this fact has noroy drinking three cups of caf cof-
(bothered the hard-boiled (thnep
minutes) English department. But
this year after the Christmas exams,
tbe department became slightly
troubled over the fact that 67 boys
let >th,eir razors slip Into their
adams apple the morning after receiving their English marks.
They were slightly more disturbed when 36 girls committed,suicide
fee straight because their English
marks showed their respective
I.Q.'s were lower than a dash*
hound's belly.
Finally seeing the light,* the Eng
lish department has decided to
make the course easier by bifas
ing Paradise lost up to date, Next
year here ls how Milton's masterpiece will look.
Cheating Football Team
**NCE upon a time there was
an educational institute called Heaven Tech, Now this college
had a pretty good football team,
the Angels. In fact the Ansels were
undefeated in the local universe
ande had the loudest, most enthusiastic cheering aecflon in the neighbourhood (can* you imasip 300U
rooters all playing "H#t That Line"
on their harps?)
Well the tearni was sailing along
floe until the whole backfield was
caught' cheating on exams. The
four, Satan, Belial, Beelzebub and
Mammon were not only kicked off
the team but their school sweaters
were taken away from them and
they -were told their services would
no longer be required. The disgruntled four immediately enrolled
in the University of Hell where the
entrance exams were much easier
Satan, /the quartertback, calls the
team Into a huddle and explains the
DISPLAYING his best Pepso-
dent smile, Satan mounts his
pitchfork and ls ott in a
cloud of hellfire and brimstone.
Landing in the aJWOJilmate vicinity of Hollywood and Vine he spies
with his little eye Eve, who is wandering around looking for a bargain »ale.
:8atam takes the appearance of a
■ Serpent (using mirrors) and, doing
a danoe that would put Gytpsey Rose
L*e to shame, attracts Eve's attention. He gives her the gears a-bout
how good those Okanagan apples
on thatjthar-tree are. Eve, not realizing that Satan is the original
door to door salesman, falls for his
line. She sinks her molars into an
situation. Ho suggests an off-tackle
smash at Earth, The fullback, Beel
zebuib, gets up on a soaipbox and
says Us going to be a long, tough
dash to Earth and asks who is going to have enough courage to try
the broken-field run.
Timing his cue well, Big Hero
Satan  jumps  up.
"I'll *be thet Lone Ranger," quoth
lie, the buttons popping off his
shirt, ''but on one condition—no
one else cam volunteer now that 1
am the fair-hatred boy."
A)ll the ex-Angels swoon over
Satan's bravery.
"Oh, you big brave boy,',' they
scream, "going down to the Earth,
home' of Income taxes, Christmas
exams and sloe gin, all by your
teensyweensy self. Imagine that—
and with Eve running around down
there clad in a fig leaf original.
How brave can you get?"
apple and the Garden of Eden lights
up like the head pinball machine ln
Harold's Club.
E}ve, not exactly stupid (not exactly but pretty near), realizes that
she has done wrong. But, determined that no "peroxided hussy" la
going to get her Adam, she persuades Adam to gulp a Kelowna
Special too. a,r
Adam relents, Eve unties the
knot In his arm and the rest of us
have suffered ever since.
And this is no applesauce.
P.S. The whirring noise you hear
in the background is one Jonathan
Milton   stirring   restlessly   ln   his
Cops Keep Eye On
Queen's Tipplers
Policing of Queen's stadium led to
a letter to the editor of the Queen'**
Journal >
"We forseei five advantages ln
the* new stadium liquor laws. (1)
Free advertising tor Queen's as
the drinkingest college ln Canada.
(2) The development of new inter
est in. the old g;ame of liquor
smuggling. (3) A new campus
character of Interest, "Stadium
Sam", the slip-it-to-you. man. (4)
Af) increase of liquor puchased in
Kingston. '(5) A quick visit by
Wi'.'t Thomson to investigate in*
creased liquor revenues to the
Conservative  party.
The amateur might tape his hot
tie under a seat the night before
the game. The student executive
approved keplng police officers on
duty during the gjumes to prevent
student drinking In the stands.
For Co-
Ubyssey Women's Editor
"Anything you can do we can
do better" say the gals from
WUS and they're out to prove
On   Thursday   at   noon   they're
sponsoring a   big   Pop   Meet   de
signed to rival Klckapoo's efforts.
Purpose of the Pep Meet is ,to
publicize Co-Ed Day which ls Friday, and the Co-Ed dance the same
WUS promises lots of fun and
excitement at the Meet.
There'll be "up-town" talent, an
interview with the Harlem Globe
trotters, bands, singers and loads
of other features.
You're ln for a surprise when
you attend this All-girl show.
Price is a very modest "10c and
place is the Armories. That's
Thursday at noon for the WUS
Pep meet!
U. of A. Students
EDMONTON — (CUP) -- Edmonton Transit System has flatly
refused to either increase the ser-
vice or reduce the fares fbr University students;
The ETS stated that with the
equipment available it would be
Impossible tor the city to Increase
the schedule whicli runs to the
The news that the service would
not be improved oaime on the heels
of the ftnuoUiDcement that the organisation would not agree to a
reduced fare for University students.
Freshman Makes
Graduate School
HOUSTON, Texas -~ (Special)
—> A freshman journalism atudent
at the University of Texas, wanted to vote ln a class election. He
was told his name wasn't on the
official list.
The puzzled student maintained
that he couldn't have been kicked out ot school—he hadn't skipped <$**ss more than four times. A
check at the Registrar's office revealed that ,hls name, Jerry Raf-
shoon, »was on the official graduate school list . . . Wonder if he's
going  to  bother continuing?
ONE OF THESE nine lovely girls will become Queen of the Mardi Gras. Voting takes plwe
on the nights of the Ball, Jan. 17 and 18 at the Commodore. Back row: Beryl Denman Gamma Phi Beta; Sheila McGiverin, Kappa Alpha Theta; Connie Bisset, Delta Gamma; Trisha Home,
Alpha Omicron Pi; Doreen Nettleton, Alpha Gamma Delta. Front Row: Ann Challenger, Alpha
Delta Pi; Sheila Toban, Delta Phi Epsilon; Pat James, Alpha Phi; Shary Pitts, Kappa Kappa
Lyon Gives '52 Hi\
Soward Iii Review
Dr. F. H. Soward, history prpfessor and director of International Studies department, giving, a "Review of '51" in the
auditorium Friday noon, labeled the past year "The Year of
Frustration." « -	
lighter with initials N. J. C. and
McMaster University crest. Return
to AMS Office.
lifetime green fountain pen. Phone
Harvey, KE 10*21..
at the AMS lost and found pleaise,
Hires, West Van. vicinity 11th and
'Mothers. Phone Tom, at West
Thurs. from vicinity of 41st and
Ontario Sts. FR 5727, Jean.
ity 2.1th and Granville to 8:30's
Mon. to Sflt. -'Phone CE 9728.
of 14 tl\ Ave. and Cypress, 8:110
every   morning   except   Saturday.
'Ph.  CB- 7780,  Alex  MacDona*ld.
PHILOSOPHY  student  In jackpot
.wants honors French student as
tutor for French 202 Summer S-es
sion sup. Will otter remuneration
«s newsman's salary permits. See
Les Armour in pub tjffice or phone
PA 42.12 evenings.
dua.te. Accurate and reasonable.
One-hall' block from I'HC bus ter-
lnin."..  -Itil*:;   West.  Eighth *ve.  AL
Under the sponsorship of the UN
ckrb, he spoke on the problems of
the, year varying from the house
wife's battle of ithe budget to the
current situation in Korea,
Reporting on diverse problems
including minks and Malik, Soward
said the danger of World War
Three seemed less Imminent at the
close of the year.
A second accomplishment he cited was the western consolidation
for defence.
Listed under the title of "unfinished" -problems were the big
trio .of Korea, defence and the re<
conciliation of machism in the east
with the 'western situation,
Examining! the pertinence of tbe
three he pointed out Uiat USSR had
been witling to risk war through
her satelltes.,
"Truman made a bold and gallant
decision in organising to help the
south   Koreans",   Soward eaid.
Remarking that US had not never
■before" been willing to fight where
her own security was not In danger,
he concluded Russia had been surprised at the new U.S. policy.
He also noted that the response
of the rest of the, World had been
slight with only 20 countries giving
He  said   that   the   perfection  of
UN as a force of resistance and the
inc.ren.-.+e In forces of nations threat
etved, wus Important I'or fitnl solu-
mt m cms
Opportunity knocks for all
you potential Daisy Maes'! You
can snag your favorite version
of Li'l Abner a the WUS co-ed
dance on Friday.
This annual affair promises
to be an even greater success
this year than ever. All you
have to do Is ask some handsome character and for the
small sum of $1 a couple have
the  time of your life.
Don't forget to take advantage of "Co-ed Dii-y" which ls
Friday,-This Is your day, gals—
and don't forget It's Leap Year.
Dancing Is from 9 'till 12 to
the "best bands in t'he land."
Place of the shindig is Brock
Hall—see you  Friday.
onably and accurately. CE 9778.
efl typist in English and German.
Between 9 and 12 a.m. PA 1708.
fast and accurate. Call Mrs. Edwards, B.A., new address, corner
4th   f.*t   19(50  Waterloo.   CM  0201.
may  be  found  on Pr.ge 129 of the
Student Directory. A. (). Robinson,
i HSU  \Y.   Illli  Ave.  AL 09i:»R.
Highlight of the spring term
will be UBC's Open House AMS
president Vaughn Lyon told students in his semi-annual report.
"Every student will haye a,
chance to play an important part
in this activity. It will be valuable not only for public relations
but also for bringing greater student participation in campus affairs."
Reviewing the past term, Lyon
noted the unsatisfactory results
from Attempts to reduce fees.
While continuing to press for reductions, he felt that the llkli
hood for a decrease Is small.
A decrease ln club activity "with
conspicuous  exceptions"   was   also
noted by I.yon. Mussoc and Player's Club productions, special
events evening concerts, and a
first class Totem will be among
the "outstanding entertainment''
offered   students   this   term.
Hopes for assistance for a swim
ming pool to be constructed In
connection with the British Empire Games is fading, but vigor
ous appeals will continue to be
"Serious consideration vvill have
to be given to the value of UHC
continuing as a member of NFCUS.
The per capita levy of 21) cents is
very   high,"   Lyon  added.
Work or International House
Committee was commended by
Lyon. Effective work under the
chairmanship of Raghbir Basi was
Save Wisely TODAY.,
Consult any of thc following Sun Life Representatives who have had wide experience in budgeting
your income lo meet essential insurance needs:
PACific. 5321
Tuesday, January 8, 1952
Robbie Robinett Looks For Good Year In 1952
Athletic Director Robert H. (Bob) Robinett didn't have too
much to say aibout the outlook tor this university ln the new year.
But he never-the-less quietly predicted that things will get better.
* ¥ *
The huge man who came to UBC last September to face one
of the toughest jobs ever offered an athletic director, indicated that
basketball and football were bound to Improve i( the higll school
a*t-ups in this city did.
"The trouble with the football situation," he said, "is that high
•chool clubs don't play the game in the proper months of the year.
We'd have much better results ln our football if the high* school
organlzefs -would schedule games In the fall."
"Playing football in the winter, as high schoolers do now, Is not
good enough, tf the high schools played ball In the autumn, like we
do, there would 'be much more Interest In the game and our high
schools* v*ould produce a better grade of football players."
Rabble heralded the coming of professional football to Vancouver because," more Interest will be stimulated among Vancouver's school kids."-
**•***• fr n*
"American kids all want to be a Red Grange, he said, and if we
have pro ball here Vancouver youngsters will worship the local
If the pros work with us, playing their games out here and
having a schedule which won't interfere with the 'Birds, we'll really
be on our feet.
Last year even with a losing clulb. UBC made profit from foot
ball returns. It was the first time in the university's five years
American football trial that such a feat had been accomplished.
"Basketball Is bound to improve," continued Robinett, while
this observer thought to himself, "of course it will. It can't get any
*Fi *r *H
"Several high school stars have indicated that UBC is their
choice for university education and if this trends keeps up we'll be
set." '
Robbie turned from basketball to comment on other sports, lie
said that golf, tennis and swimming is on the upsweep.
The tennis and track meet will be held up here this year.
Baseball may be on the sports calendar at the termination of
the year, Robinett said.
Really Hits Stride
cLeod,   Dempster  Lead
Jayvee  Scoring  Attack
WhUe the Thunderbirds, UBC's representatives in the
Ivergreen Basketball Conference were going down to their
•Jxteenth consecutive defeat at the Memorial Gym on Saturday
flight, their-youger brothers, the amazing Jayvees, registered
win number 8 as against 2 defeats.
WHATS wrong with the
Thunderbirds? That,
as the cliche gqes is a good
question. The Birds have
managed to come up with an
Astounding sixteen game losing streak! Now this is nothing new as far as the Football side of the picture goes,
but Basketball, whew! It just
Han't (be true. Well, we can
•ay something good about
this year's edition of Basketballers; they're original.
,Now lets be scientific about
tits whole n'-sty problem. Their
ihust ibe some unknown factor
lirhlch is causing this unholy serifs of disasters. Of course we
dftn't want to bare the very souls
6;f these our friends to the bourgeois public view.
But could it  be coaching?
It seems a mystery to me why
the 'Birds are unable to come up
with a win. when the scores of
almost every game have been so
close. Another thing why does the
'Birds scoring seem to take a
definite pattern in every contest.
Surely those of you who follow
the Hoop Sport on the campus
must have, noticed by now, that
the Birds float around with
mouths agapin' the first quarter
watchln that round leather sphere
sail into the little hoop.
*       *        *
IIKX  according  to   what  Is
now  a   firmly  established
tradition roar in on a last
half comeback to fall a few points
behind the opposing team. All
these oft-occurlng details nnay be
purely co-incidental, and it is
quite possible, to use another
cliche, that I am jumping to conclusions, but let me tell you, it
adds up to something. (Gee I'm
Seriously though I don't think
right combinations of players
are being used, the team contains
enough talent to sink a battleship, this is apparent from the
close scores they have been able
maintain, if the right players are
used at the right time, it. is just
possible that someone will Ive
round, who oan spark the team
to score those extra points whicli
will win win games, Good luck
Because of the refusal of Vancouver Basketball officials to admit them Into the Senior A league,
the Jayvees are restricted to playing only exhibition games. Last
week they climaxed their * short
first term schedule by edging Vancouver Clover Leafs, Dominion
Anlateui* champs for the second
straight time. Everett College Juniors, Pacific Lutheran Juniors and
the Arctic Club, also suffered trimmings at the hands of the JVs.
A' Seattle Senior A club and the
Arotics administered the two defeats to UBC's junior*.
This term, however, managers
Bob Kirkland i*nd Keith Liddle
have lined up a two game per
week schedule. Junior teims of
Evergreen Conference members
will, in the main, provide tlio opposition. Jayvees will play prclimi
iiaries to the Birds and ln Edition
will have Thursday hour fixtures.
Coach Dick Penn has drawn
players from the Junior Braves
and Chiefs, from the Clover Le^f
Inter A squad and from across the
holder to make up a team lie literally raves about. C&ptaln Gavin
Dempster, whom Penn terms one
of the best shots o.n the campus;
Bob Bowen, a hard-driving forward and John McLeod, a big, promising youngster are the ex-Clover
Le*.e*fs. Herb Forward, an experienced first stringer; Hee Frith, a
hard-cutting guard, and Oarv Taylor, probably the fastest player on
lhe squad, are up from the Braves
while "Gundy" Mcleod seen" with
the Birds on Friday and Saturday
night and Max Bertram of track
and sVimmlng fame were formerly
with the chiefs. The lone centre
man. li' 7 Mi" Phil Barter is a transfer from the University of Oregon,
and Ladysmith's Hong Brinham, a
forward of considerable ability
complete the team.
Penn's concluding remarks In
the interview showed his hopes for
the jsuceess of his boys: "It i.s
a promising club, all work hard
and aro a fighting crew."
r* >v'<p - *•  **«
NEW UBYSSEY Sports Editor Barry Drinkwater replaces
Alex MacGillivray. Drinkwater has been serving as assistant sport editor during past term. Outgoing sports editor
MacGillivray reports that replacement is^best find in years.
McGillivray weeps at leaving old post to become Managing
Editor, a job he has refused three times previously.,
Drinkwater New
Sports Boss
Comrades, the revolution in the Ubyssey Sports Department has finally come about. Our beloved Sports Editor,
Alex MacGillvray has been forcefully evicted from us
reign of terror, so the party has drafted me to'fill this high
volatile position.
Last Saturday night, in the coffee bar of the New War Memorial Gym, Alex, the deposed monarch, walked up to me, placed
his stubby little finger on my chest, und exclaimed In a quavering
voice, "Barry, you have been duly elected to the position of Sports
Kditor of the Ubyssey. I picked my.self tup off of the floor, and when
1 had regained the use of all my faculties, asked quietly, "And when
is tills blessed event to come about?" "Son", said Alex, "As of Monday lt will be your job to see that those gentlemen in the lower extremities of Brock Hall dig in and turn out their world-shaking
Needless to say, my whole evening was ruined, and I began
to think over all the Information that I had gathered in my three
months as assistant editor. When I had added up tills information,
the sum total showed that the Varsity student l-ody was going to
have to ''Grin and bear it" for the first few issues.
Today, as I sit here pounding out my maiden column, the clacking of Charlie Watt's typewriter Is the only noise in an otherwise
sacredly quiet room. The City-side office is noisy with the clacking
of many typewriters, including that of MacGillivray who, 1 have
discovered, joed me with this job so that he could rake in all the
glory and honor of managing editor.
For my first day, the copy space was large enough to drop in.
Add  to  this  the fact  that copy is .short and you get  the general
idea that I am up the prOveiibial creek.
However, if you, (he critics of this paper, will vithold your,
comments for the first few issues, we will trp to put out a sports
page that will meet with your whole -hearted approval.
Birds Clipped
Twice Again
Pomfret's  Wonders   Drop
Sixteenth  Straight  Game
v m
The hapless UBC Birds again ran afoul of Lady Luck as
they dropped two hoop contests over the weekend. Coach Jack
Pomfret's Winless Wonders, have boosted their losing streak
to a booming 16 consecutive losses.
On Friday night, they lost their ■
first   Evergreen   conference   game
to the  powerful  College of  Puget
Sound Loggers.
A frustrating first quarter punctured the low-flying Birds victory
hopes as the Loggers Indulged ln
a 18-1 scoring spree. UBC's main
plan of attack was to hand tbe
ball to the nearest Lumber-jack,
who would promptly score. The
Logger's shooting, was devastnt-
Ingly effective throughout tbe
evening, but wus particularly good
In the farcial first stanza.
CPS' star Jake Mal:erry, .high
scorer of the evening with 14
points. Jake c real field-general,
set up a good many baskets for the
'visitors, thereby sparking them to
a win.
During the first half, the 'Birds
managed to score 5 field goals, und
trailed 26-14 at the intermission.
Pomfret' boys, unwilling to
vaunt tradition, staged a last hf.*lf
rally to make the score reasonably
close, although not exactly a photo
a.Gunner Mclead. a spectator who
suddenly appeared on the floor in
a Bird uniform fhe isn't even on
the UBC roster) scored two baskets from outside the key, and
almost staged a one-man comeback.
With two minutes to go, John
Southcott and Don Zaliarko each
scored two field goals to reduc**
the Loggers to a six point lead.
In t h e preliminary feature,
Blaine High School defeated UBC
Braven 00-47.
Loggers — Inveen 7, Westlln 3,
Maitland 2, VVilderson*G, Maberry
14. Higley '!, Walker 5, Williamson 1.  Moyles 1.' Total 48.
Thunderbirds Philips   10   Za
liarko 10, Southcott fi, Seymour.:!,
It. Hudson S, Upson 1. Desaulnler
'!, Mcleod 4." Tot:*,l 42.
Toronto Sports Scene
TOKONTO — (CUP) — Rngi-; Two records fell as Beryl Lewi"
neers have beaten out tho Medical cut .8 seconds from the backstroke
team In the, university volleyball record to cover the SO-yard course
champions. I in    .'14.4    seconds.    Toronto    also
Skulemen  won  three of the five1 broke   the   ISO-yard   medley   relay
Sanies mostly with their short, fast   record,
spikes   close  to   the   net   that   left >t>        *        *
the   future   decors   gasping. j     Varsity   senior   hoopsters   comp-
>f>        ff.        if. leted an inauspicious tour of upper
Toronto   Varsity   women's   swim   New  York state colleges by losing
team copped the honors at  the an-   all   three   exhibition ' games,
nual    iiiler-collegiale   spl'.sh    meet       Having    llobart    and    Hamilton
apart, but at Colgate College, Ton-
! ontonians   were   trounced   s 1-40.
*£. tji 9f.
j Hill Wade, star with the Toronto
j senior hockey league, has been ap-
| pointed new coach of tho Varsity
I team.
lie   believes   Hint   .Montreal   aiu
Laval    I'niversily   squads   will    be
I Toronto's      toughest      competition
this    season.    The    Toronto    lilues
■squads, the scores  were six points, were last, year's college champions
the most pleasing
cigarette you can
smoke!  ^x


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