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The Ubyssey Nov 19, 1940

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 Glamcmr At Arts Aggie Ball Thursday See Page 3
Arts-Aggie
Pep Meet
Today
®Ij.e _Hby00i>£
Publications
Meeting
Wed. Noon"
PUBLISHED TWICE WEEKLY BY THE PUBLICATIONS BOARD OF THE UNIVERSITY OF BRITISH COLUMBIA
VOL. XXIII.
VANCOUVER, B. C, TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 19th, 1940
No. 17
behind
th
e news
iierre  berton
Two social functions of widely
varying types were held last week.
There's more news behind them
than   meets   the   eye.
One was held In the Commodore
Cabaret, where the smooth strains
of ono of the city's better orchestras mingled with soft lighting effects and luxurious furnishings to
lend glamour to the air. It cost
three   dollars.
The other was held In Brock
Hall on the campus to the music
of Sid Poulton's Varsity orchestra.
Students weren't clad in tuxedos
but overalls instead. It cost 25
cents.
Guess who had the most fun?
That's right — the boys who
paid a quarter. For Just 92.75
less (and we're not counting corsages, motorcars, starching of
shirts, renting of tuxes, etc.)
they had five times as much
enjoyment.
WHAT'S WRONG?
Why? Why should the gang who
turned up at the Arts mixer enjoy
themselves far more than the sophisticates who floated on the Commodore floor at the Senior Class
hop?
Was It because the bunch at the
Arts mixer were drunk and therefor had more fun? Guess again—
there wasn't even a whiff of sen-
sen   ln   Brock   Hall   Saturday   eve.
Yet the members of the Senior
Class discussing the subject at an
early meeting urged that the affair
be held down town in order that
they might be able to bring something  on  the  hip.
They got the Jolt of their lives
when they found on arrival that
regulations had stiffened, Instead
of the dancers, and open drinking  was not  to be tolerated.
GLUM NESS
Perhaps that accounts for the
glum faces and stiff actions at the
Senior Class party. Is it conceivable that those who attended found
they couldn't have any fun without
that   alcoholic   glow?
The gang who went lo the Arts
mix-er didn't find it so. The Arts
mixer proved beyond a shadow of
doubt that you can have fun and
still stay sober. Yet many seniors
laid tho blame for the Senior
Class party's deadness on the forced
absence   of   alcohol.
Perhaps Saturday's mixer will
stand out as a lesson for the
rest of the campus. Perhaps
other class executives may profit
from the lesson of the Senior
Class, and hold their functions
on the campus. That's what
Brock Hall Is there for.
THREE BUCKS IS THREE BUCKS
It's all right paying three dollars
for the prestige of being seen at
ono cf tho better social affairs, but
personally we like to enjoy ourselves.
At the Senior Class party they
danced the Koki-oki (spelling not
guaranteed). It was a sophisticated
version of tho Loopy-loo which has
been a feature of arts mixers. I'll
tako   the   Loopy-loo   any   day.
Ole   Olson   didn't   help   any 'either.
His   music   is  tops  but  ho obviously
doesn't   enjoy   his  work.     Sid   Poulton's   boys   have   the   time   of   their
lives    and    help    to    keep     up      the
morale   of  those  on   the   floor.     I've
never   yet   seen   any   of   Ole's   boys
crack   a  smile 'during   the  evening.
Perhaps the real success of thc
Arts   Mixer  was  that   the   crowd
who   attended,   entered   Into   thc
spirit   of   the   evening   from   the
first ml mile on. They didn't have
to    be    amused — they    amused
themselves    . . .   and    that's   thc
secret  of  any  good  social  function.
<*"•--< >'__M..__U„__„„__W>__>„.__>„«_H ._,.._„_,.•.
All Freshmen having proofs
of Totem pictures MUST send
thc proofs with the preferred
ono marked to Artona Studio
not later than Wednesday, November  20.
Thc Varsity Band is open for engagements to play for activities sponsored hy Campus Organizations. Requests for tin- band's participation
must bo made in writing at least 10
clays in advance, on forms' obtaiuablo
at   tho A.M.S.   Office.
Coke Sales Go Down
As Self Denial Day
Rings Up Fair Sum
Although Self-Denial Day on the Campus is definitely bad
for his business, Frank Underhiil, manager of the Caf, has no
objections whatever!
I think It's a wonderful Idea.
If we did this every day It would
bo a great thing for the country,"
ho said on Friday, as he reported
a considerable drop In Wednesday's sale of cokes, cigarettes,
.  candy, etc., In the Cat.
Tlie Students' Council has hopes of
making their weekly campaign a
regular vacation for the waitresses
behind the glass case and the cash
register, as students become more
used to the Idea of self-denial for
the war effort.
AGGIES LEAD
Dorothy Hlrd, President of W.U.S.,
was unable to give out the exact
amount collected, but she described
the sum as "not large, but definitely
a beginning."
Ai-lculture, the smallest faculty on
the campus led the competition with
approximately a 48 per cent representation of students, followed by
Science with 18 per cent; Commerce,
22 per  cent;   and  Arts,   19 per  cent.
One magnanimous student denied
himself even a ride home by depositing a streetcar ticket In one of the
cans. This was duly auctioned and
sold  by the Council for 7c.
Ten Cent Coke
Donation Aids
Red Cross Fund
Donation of 64 cases of "coke''
by the Coca-Cola Company of Canada Limited has been announced by
tho Red Cross committee on tlie
campus.
Tho coke will be sold in prominent campus gathering spots next
Wednesday at 10 cents per bottle—
all proceeda going to the Red Cross
Society.
Thus students may aid the Red
Cross without depriving themselves
of the  necessities of existence.
■ No Objectors
At U.B.C. * So
No Suspensions
Conscientious objectors at U.B.C.
have not been suspended for the
simple reason that there aro no
conscientious objectors on this
campus.
That Is the statement made to the
Ubyssey by Colonel O. M. Shrum
Saturday. "Of course we have a committee to deal with that sort of thing,"
Colonel Shrum commented, "but so
far there have been no exemptions
from military training on the basis
of  conscientious objection."
The   one   lone   student   who  declared himself a conscientious objector earlier ln the term has evidently changed  his mind because
he has signed up and is now drill-
ling Just like everyone else.
Rumour     that      conscientious      objectors if and when they appear here
may   be  treated   in   the  same   manner
ns  at McGiil  has been  circulating on
the  campus,   but  this suggestion  does
1
All members of the Publications board are asked to meet
In the Publications office at
noon, Wednesday. Several Important matters, not the least of
which Is Friday's Pub Party,
will  be  discussed.
Films To Show
In Auditorium
Friday P.M.
Complying with demands of columnist;! in tho Ubyssey, two films are to
bo presented by the Film Society as
a Pass Feature at noon on Friday ln
tho Auditorium. One is a stirring
presentation of Canada's war effort,
including scenes from both the first
and  second  Great  Wars.
It shows battle scenes, mobilization
of natural resources, armament manufacture, invasion of Norway and tho
Netherlands, collapse of France, entry
of Italy Into the war, national registration, and many other scenes, including the visit of the King and
Queen.
Tho other film is a portrayal of the
English countryside, with views of
Devon, Cornwall, the Lake District,
Yorkshire, Sussex, Kent and other
well-known beauty  spots of England.
Both films are loaned through the
co-operation of the Department of
University Extension, tho first through
tho Government Motion Picture Bureau, and the second through the courtesy of tho British Council, London.
not seem
definite -■"■
mlttec.
to
be    founded     on     any
-—  of the military com-
The Show Is On
Student Night For Plays
Set For Wednesday -Eve.
Brock Hall Won't Be
Open For Night Use
-Governors Decision
Campus Clubs Badly In Need Of Evening
Meeting Place, L.S.E. Survey Reveals
Unless the Board of Governors takes drastic action, there
is little possibility that Brock Hall will remain open for evening
use during the winter session of 1940-41.
Emily Carr Art
Exhibition
In Btock Hall
U.B.C. art lovers will be given
the opportunity of viewing representative paintings of Emily Carr,
distinguished B. C. modern artist all
this week.
Tho exhibition which opens today
haa been on show at the Vancouver
Art gallery during the B. C. artists
exhibition. It may be viewed in
tho Exhibition room of Brock Hall.
Symphony Series
Begins Monday
increasing popularity of symphonic
music among students has resulted in
tho twice weekly Carnegie record programs being placed on a thrice-weekly  basis.
Under tho direction of Daniel Tat-
rofi'. Ubyssey music critic, a program
of symphonic request numbers will
bo held each Monday in the smoking
room of Brock Hall from 12:40 to 2:15
p.m.
Requests should not be made for
pieces heard on the Tuesday or Friday
concert.-). Students will have access
to the Carnegie catalogue in the library to choose their favorite piece.
Any Seniors who have not
hud a picture taken for the
Totem must do so at Artona
Studio by Saturday, November
2:". After this date no moro
will  be  taken.
The curtain rises ! And amidst blazing footlights and melting grease paint the Christmas plays are on again.
Opening night, Wednesday, November 20, will also be Student Night and all students will be. admitted on presentation of
their passes.    The curtain will rise at 7:30.
The plays will be presented to the public Thursday, Friday and Saturday, Nov. 21, 22. and 23.    Curtain time will be 8:15.
Aa there will not bo sufficient accomodation for the entire student
body on opening night a limited number will be admitted Thursday night.
As the Player's Club took a large cut in their budget this year, they
have asked the Ubyssey to print programs for them. Students are advised
to clip this program and bring it with them. It will be their only chance
of getting one.    They will not be available at the door.
THE   NATIVITY   PLAY  OF  THE   <$	
SHEARMEN AND TAILORS
Directed by Archie Bain, Arts '41
Under the supervision of
Mr.   Sydney  Risk.
CAST
(In   order   of   appearance)
Isiah  Norman Lloyd, Arts'42
Gabriel   John Carson, Arts'43
Mary    Phyllis  Mllllgan, Arts'43
Joseph    Dick   Bibbs, Arts'44
First   Shepherd,
George   Speakman, Arts '43
Second   Shepherd.
Robert Menchions, Com. '42
Third Shepherd, John Seyer, Arts '42
Messenger   John Sansum, Sc. '44
Herod    Arthur   Hull, Arts'44
First King ...William Dawe, Arts '44
Second Klng.Lionel Bakony, Arts'43
Third   King   ... Bill   Gilmour, Com. '43
FAR   FAR  AWAY
By Philip Johnson
Director, Dr. Dorothy Mawdsley
Scene: The basement kitchen of Mrs.
Con-ildinc's   house   In   Kensington
C/\ST
(In order of appearance)
Cook    Eleanor   Atkins, Arts'44
Exams In  Basic Training;
Double Duty For Shirkers
Examination upon the work of the basic military training
group at U.B.C. will be held in January, it was announced Monday by Col. G. M. Shrum.
CHECKING  UP
Col. Shrum states that the examination will be designed to check up
on those students who are not taking
the military lectures seriously
.nour.li.
"Ni> student who has attended tho
lectures regularly should encounter
any difficulty in these examinations, '
llu- Cok-nol said. "If students have
not been attending lectures or have
not been paying attention when they
do attend, it is bound to show in
tls. it-    examination."
DOUBLE  DRILL
Those students who simply fail to
turn up at their lectures will be required to make up double "the time
in   drill.
Col. Shrum reports that two men
are now -employed in keeping account
of tlie timo that each student is
spending   in   military   training.
Additional drills will be organized
to provide extra training for thoso
who have missed cither lectures or
1 articles.
Queenie ...Mary Buckerfield, Arts '43
Penny    Joan   Budd, Arts '44
Mrs. Considlne.Zelle Adcock, Arts '44
Nuss Grim wade,
Elizabeth   Hobden, Arts '43
Nancy   Anne  DuMoulin, Arts'44
Prompter, Fay Sweeney, Arts '44
Produced    by    special    arrangement
with Samuel French  (Canada)  Limited,  Toronto.
* *    •    *
IN  COLD  BLOOD
By Gordon Bligh
Directed  by  John E.  Glen,  Arts  '11
Under supervision of
Mr. Sydney Risk
Scene: The study and workroom
Charles Lane,  popular novelist
CAST
(In   order  of  appearance)
Charles Lane,
Michael
Dick     Robert
Tlio   Burgler,
Jack  Heatherington, Arts '44
Irma    Gloria   Mcintosh, Agric. '43
* *   *    *
EDWARD ABOUT TO MARRY
By F. Sladcn Smith
Director,   Professor   Walter   II.   Gage
Scene:  The  morning  room  at   Lady
Tewkesbury's.
CAST
(In order of appearance)
Lady Tewkesbury,
Elizabeth  Locke, Arts '44
Blundell       Jean   Colquhoun, Arts'44
Kendal    John   Moran, ..Arts'44
Violet    Isobel   Bourne, Arts '43
Barnabas   Mercer,
John  Powell, Arts '44
Sh-   Alfred   Hyde,
William   Allan, Arts '41
Constanza   Tremaine,
June   Hewitson, Arts '44
Edward   Bredlcot.
Wayne   Pendleton, Arts '43
Socrates  Cagliostro,
Robert Rose, Com. '42
Junior Aggies
Form First Unit
On UBC Campus
To U.B.C. falls the honour of having
the first Junior C.S.T.A. (Junior Canadian Society of Technical Agriculturalists).
Last spring a group of Aggies got
together and _ decided that there
should be a junior body of this na-
lion-wldo     C.S.T.A. Their     dream
came true and this fall there is on
active body of young agriculturalists
meeting every third Sunday evening
at the homes of the different members.
LIMIT  MEMBERS
Because of the technical nature of
tlio papers presented, and also because of tho necessity of limiting the
membership to give- each member a
chance to present a paper, only junior and senior students have been
asked   to join.
The first meeting was held at the
home of Todd Tremblay. Anson
McKim was elected President with
Jack Campbell Vice-president, Pat
Cummings secretary, and Joe Morgan
curator. It ls the hope of the society
to have the papers of each year
bound in book form so that each
member will have a permanent
record   of  the   material  presented.
of
Young, Arts '44
Miller, Arts '44
Totem Finally
Has Dark Room
The darkroom In Brock Hall which
wii used for taking class pictures
earlier in the year has been granted
by the Board of Governors to the Totem  nnd Camera Club.
Since the 1941 Totem will contain
a short report on the year's activities
plus a picture of each club, Totem
photo editor Bill Grand has asked that
each club should send Its representative to meet him in the Totem office
next Monday, November 25th, between
12:30 and 2:30 so that arrangements can
be  made concerning the picture.
This request refers to all campus
organizations ranging from the Agriculture Club to the Varsity Christian
Union.
This was the news received by
the Student Council after that body
had spent months attempting to
keep the building open for much
needed club activities during the
evening. The Board of Governors
has made provision for keeping the
structure open next year, but thla
year's students won't reap the
benefit of It.
POSSIBILITY
The Board hinted that there might
be some possibility of opening the
structure next term, but this possibility Is at a minimum.
At present the building will continue to close Its doors at what
many students consider to be the
ridiculously early hour of S p.m.
on weekdays and 12 noon on
Saturdays.
Council is unable to afford a proctor for Brock Hall during the extra
hours entailed. Students were unable
to convince the governing body of
tho drastic necessity of using Brock
Hall at night.
CLUBS WANT USE
At the same time, clubs on the
campus Indicated that they would
put the building Into constant use
on week nights If It were opened.
The   Maths   Club,   Cercle   Francois,
La Canadienne, Camera Club, Letters
Club,     Munro    pre-Med.,    Psychology
Club,     Biological     Discussions    Club,
Chinese Club and Parliamentary Forum  all signified  their  desire   to make
use  of   tho  building for regular  night
meetings.
At present these organizations are
forced to make use of the limited facilities   of  private homes.
"I think tho facts speak for themselves," declared Bob Bonner,
L.S.E. president, "the building Is
in demand."
Shunned By Elite
Mixer Scores Hit
With Proletariat
Shunned by socialites, glamour
boys and the campus elite, the second Arts mixer, held Saturday
night in Brock Hall proved an instant success with the crowd of
fun-seekers who attended it attired   In   Hard   Times   costumes.
With student councillers and
prominent campus glamour-scholars notable by their absence the
Informal, inexpensive affair proved
even a bigger hit than Its predecessor.
Sid Poulton's orchestra with Sid
and Frances White doing the vocals
kept tlie spirit up during the evening while Sandy Nash was broken
in as master of ceremonies. Executive members feel the mixers
so successful that It may be necessary to hold them weekly after
Christmas.
Men Eke Out Meagre Margin
In  First Battle Of Sexes
They tried to decide whether the female is brainier than
the male on Monday but they failed again.
In a quiz contest sponsored by the C.S.A.D.C. the men won
—but only by one point. And one point out of a possible 320
cannot be considered conclusive evidence, in the opinion of
experts.
BRAINY  MALES
The male contingent of Jim Harmer,
Pierre Berton, Tom Robinson and
Ted Nichols gleaned 195 points while
the women's team of Ruth Wilson.
Janet Walker. Ruth Heyer and Els-
eth   Munro   pulled   down   194.
Brain of brains was Torn Robinson who made 70 nut of 80 points.
While the women's scores were all
close together the male's points
varied considerably.
STUMPED
Quost ens    such,    as    "Who    ran    for
president in Mexico?" proved tough,
while others like "Who is the professional heavyweight boxing champion
of   the   world?"   weren't   too  hard.
Affable Dr. A. F. B. Clark of thc
modern languages department fired
the questions at the so-called experts. Students in the audience wero
helpful.
Ni-xt quiz will bo between Science-
men and Artsmen. if the C.S.A.D.C.
can   get   them   together   on   one   staffs. Page Two
*********——■« —^mmm^ammm_,|M|IM.. m     .■■■■i—_m_^_m ——.^^—,.
3ttj* ^UujHflry
(MEMBER C.U.P.)
Issued twice weekly by the Students' Publication Board
of the Alma Mater Society of the University of British
Columbia.
Office; Brock Memorial Building    —    Phone Alma 1624
Campus Subscriptions—11.50
Moil Subscriptions—92.00
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
Jack Margeson       *
SENIOR EDITORS
Tuesday Friday
Pierre Berton Janet Walker
SPORT EDITOR
Archie Paton
ASSISTANT SPORTS EDITOR
Jack McKlnlay
ASSOCIATES
Edna Wlnram Orme Dier
Pub Secretary Barbara Moe
Circulation Manager _ -Bob Menchlons
Assistant Editor  - - —Barbara Newman
Feature Editor Cornelia Burke
C. V. P Editor -..- Arvid Backman
Exchange Editor - Lloyd William*
REPORTERS
Doris Fllmer-Bennett, Helga Jarvl, Margaret Reid, Ollbert Baal, Ken Wardroper, Marlon MacDonald, Sylvia
Anderson, Adam Waldie, Lucy Berton, Dan Tatroff, Bob
Morris, David Robinson, Bernice Williams. Allison Mc-
Bain, Bill Dawe, Doug Christie, Ida Francis, Frances
Jackson, Bill Hutchinson, Dave Housser, Jonathan Clark.
SPORTS REPORTERS
Amy Hackney Helen Matheson Jack Ferry
Chuck Claridge
For Advertising
Standard Publishing Company Ltd.
2182 West 41st Avenue    —    Phone KErr. 1811
a^ '
Letters
THE      UBYSSEY
y*&i
3"ay, November 19th, 1940
In the past few weeks, a number of entirely unwarranted letters about the University have been appearing in the columns of
Vancouver newspapers. Obviously they are
written by people who h.»ve no knowledge of
the University or of the students.
The charge has been made that the University students are staying at home and enjoying themselves while other young Canadians are away fighting for their country.
Citizens of Vancouver read accounts of various
social events held downtown or on the campus,
and the impression grows that University students are doing nothing.
Let all these people be told by every available means that the universities of Canada are
turning out a large number of the officers for
Canadian forces at home and abroad; that all
male students without exception are receiving
military training, training as instructors, and
courses that will prove valuable to them as privates or officers in modern warfare.
All this is in addition to their own courses.
Engineers are being trained to develop and expand the industries of this country, and to'
make available natural resources that have
not yet been touched. As a supply base for
Britain, Canada needs as many engineers as
she can get.
(Incidentally, we hope that the coming
session of Parliament will reveal whether the
industrial capacity of this country and the engineers available are being used at maximum
efficiency, and if not, why not.)
Other students are being trained as the
teachers, professors, and political and business
leaders of tomorrow. Just because we are at
present engaged in a desperate struggle does
not mean that we should not make some preparation for a doubtful future. Should a crying need for men develop, many such students
would undoubtedly join Canada's forces, but
while the need is small, they believe that they
can serve their country best by remaining with
their studies.
The military training and studies which
are by no means decreased, are making students work very hard and very seriously. Anyone -with time for loitering is called for fatigue
duty. People are cutting down on extra-curricular activities and social functions this year.
There is a difference.
To the letter writer who suggested that the
University be closed forthwith, may we only
suggest that the closing of universities would
be the quickest way to bring Hitlerism or some
other form of dictatorship permanently to this
country by cutting off the supply of future
leaders that democracy needs so badly.
NUNNERY
A, JABEZ
%
Paintings
Students should be grateful to Mr. Hunter
Lewis who has brought an exhibition of paintings by Emily Carr to the campus. Those who
missed the exhibition at the Art Gallery will
be able to seo it fully here in Brock Hall. Emily
Carr i.s recognized as one of the foremost Canadian painters. Although some do not care
for her style, all students interested in art
should see this exhibition and endeavour to discover for themselves the power and beauty of
the paintings.
M-DAY FOB THE GOONS
The Open Forum department of this paper
has recently published several letters advocating a Sadie Hawkins day. One "Hopeful
Female" wanted to have the open season last
for a week, doubtless to give herself plenty of
time to lay bear traps and dig elephant pits.
More damnable was another letter written
by an allegedly male student of the University.
Even allowing 30% off for a freshman, this
represents defeatist propaganda of a most dangerous type, and is in violation of Defence of
Canada Regulations. This sort of thing must
be stopped.
Good   Lord,   has   Canadian   manhood   no
longer enough initiative, enough determination,
enough red corpuscles to go out and hunt for
its own meat?
MAN-IN-THE-GUTTER
In order to obtain a cross-section of
student opinion on this question, we set
out for a man on the street interview. We
stumbled over Mr. Embryo U. Poulet,
Aggie '35, whose option has been taken up
until '44. Mr. Poulet was on the street alright, lying just where the City's trucks
had flushed him. We picked him up and
put the question to him.
"Mr. Poulet," we said, "what do you think
of Sadie Hawkins days?"
His little, red eyes gleamed evilly as he
peered at us with great suspicion.
"Ask me about her nights, bud!" he
leered, suddenly. "Sadie don't jell 'till twelve!"
We tried another angle.
"Mr. Poulet, how would you like to have
a woman chase you all over the campus?"
He went deathly white.
"Has Mabel broken out again?" he whispered hoarsely.
"No, no, Mr. Poulet, this could be any woman in the University."
"The hell it could!" he snarled. "There's
only seven days in a week, you know. Gimme
time, gimme time."
And with that, Mr. Embryo U. Poulet
staggered back to find his place in the gutter
again. __
FIFTH COLUMN STUFF
Seriously, though, gentlemen, are we
going to remain blind to the forces gathering
against us?
Pub spies have actually seen the goons
training out here at night. Panzer divisions,
pioneer corps, and anti-grad guns rumble over
the playing fields in perfect order. Plans are
being laid for catching the C.O.T.C. at the
end of a route march, and we all know what
that means, don't we, C.O.T.C? It will be St.
Bartholomew's Day, with skirts.
Get the picture of a fast and heavy
goon swooping down out of the sun onto
the tail of one of our mellow, dellclously
plump seniors. A smeary sidewalk would
be the only trace.
We must have no part of any scheme
which would condone these atrocities. Of
course we like to be chased. But how would
you like to see your pelt hanging at the side
of one of those tough goon troopers? And
with winter coming on, too.
CONVOY SYSTEM
The men of McGiil, trapped by smart Ontario goons, are now desperately planning a
system of convoys for their -week of terror.
Our campus is larger, and affords better cover
for the enemy; a man wouldn't stand a chance
once the goons had swung into action with
their flashy relay teams, and their wild cries of
"Shoot the pants to me, Nance!"
Think it over carefully, Joe.
We are still making the passes, whether they are completed or not.
By means of padded shoulders and a
nimble line of patter, we have managed to keep
out of own territory, even though we don't
make as many touchdowns as in former times.
It's no cinch, these days, to drag a woman into
a cave by the hair—without paying $1 or more
cover charge, and a corsage on top of that,
egad.
BUT   AT   LEAST   WE   ARE   STILL   IN
NOMINAL COMMAND OF MANEOUVERS.
So let us hear no more of this Sadie Hawkins business.    It is quite unthinkable.    Barbarous, in fact.
N.B.—(But any women who would
like to have a preliminary work-out, over
short distances, might phone ALma 1624.
I think a friendly match could be easily
arranged.)
RUTHLESS   RHYMES   FOR  HEARTLESS
HOMES
"What's  that on the road,  Mamma,
That  looks  like strawberry  jam?"
"Hush,   hush,   my   child,   that's  dear   papa
Run over by a  tram."
• fruit salad
pat keatley
Frankly, I doubt if you can spell
the ten hardest words in the English language which are in common
use.
Like the Lord High Executioner
I've got a little list. Instant decapitation awaits those who miss
any  one  of   the   following:
INOCULATE, EMBARRASS,
HARASS. SUPERSEDE, INNUENDO, RAREFY, VILIFY, PLAOUY,
DESSICCATE, PICNICKING.
True gourmets of fruit salad will
have little trouble in putting this
list to work. Thing of all the hundreds and hundreds of students
who only read the sports page of
the Ubyssey!
Spring this list on them and
stump  them.
Think   of   the   hundreds   who
don't dip Into Fruit Salad! Yes,
you  are  Indeed  one of a  privileged minority.
GOD-GIFTED
If you have an inferiority complex, this list ls a gift from .the
gods. You simply memorize it to
toss lt off casually at parties and
floor 'em. "They laughed when I
sat down  .   .  "  and all that.
If you know any particularly vile
member of the English faculty,
just trot this out next time ln Arts
100. Bo sure to sit right at the
back and dedicate it to the professor at the front. He's bound to
miss a few, and then w-ttch him
lose his grip. After all, Dr. Elliot,
president of Harvard, missed four
of tho words first crack. Make your
lecturer squirm till it hurts.
*    *    •    *
PROCRASTINATION
"His Grace the Duke de Richelieu
has received His Majesty's commands to inform you that a Ball
will take place at Versailles on
Wednesday the 24th of February,
1745, at 5 p.m. Ladies who Intend
dancing will wear their hair in
curls."
That invitation was found among
the letters of a Parlslenne of fashion. It ls pleasant to stray down
the garden path of whimsy, and
picture her In the late afternoon
of l'hlver francals 200 years ago
rolling along ln her carriage to
Versailles. It is the more fascinating because we know she did go,
and that -die wore her hair in curls,
danced, and confided to her diary
what she thought about those other
cats with their hair up in curls.
We can also be sure that she was
late,  fashionably  late.
The fatal falling of procrastination   was   recognized   even   in
Shakespeare's day.   It is symbolized   ln   the   degeneration   of   a
word   often   used   by   the   bard
himself: "presently", which used
to mean toot sweet, and Is rapidly   becoming   synonymous   with
"not now dear, later".
The  French  and  their latin  cousins   are   particularly   susceptable   to
the disease of procrastination.    It is
well   known   that    In     Brazil     and
Argentina   theatre   bills   and   bullfights   are   scheduled   on   billboards
to start at "1  p.m. our time; 4 p.m.
English   time."
FASHIONABLY  LATE
By this time you may be asking
what this has to do with us. Well,
don't imagine that the English race
is immune to the virtue. That ball
at Versailles was slated for 5. Tlie
orchestra arrived about 5:15, and
dancing  started at  5:30.
A hundred years later the big
shots   of   the   Congress   of   Versailles   used   to   step   Into   clean
shirts   for  an  evening's  dancing
after    a    hard    flay    ot    shortsighted    diplomacy.      It    said    7
p.m.   on   the   engraved   card,   so
they   picked   up  their  gretchens
around 7:15 and got to the hall
of mirrors circa thc half hour.
A   hundred   years   later   the   blase
undergraduate    calls    for     his     jade
around   9:15   to   go   to   the   cocktail
party   which    precedes    the     dance
scheduled to start at  9  .m.    Zenith,
or   rather   nadir,   of   this   deplorable
trend   comes   with   the   opening   of
the   Panic   Room.     It   Is   announced
that the Roof will open at a quarter
§..._. _*-00 sends 300
WBE> CAPORAL or WIN-
HESTER olgvsttss er »1.00 will
••nd either I lb. ot OLD VIRGINIA
Rlpejtobacco er 1 lb. of SWEET
OAPORaITFINC CUT (with Yop-u
P(0*ra>toC_nadiant serving In C.A.8.F.
only.
_,     S2.B0 tends 1.000
dg-reUM to an Individual or unit
"Lo»l your temper?"
'No, my Sweot Capt."
SWEET CAPORAL CIGARETTES
"The purest form in which tobacco can be tmolted.
CLPEN    fCtlM
Student Opinion
All writers are urged to affix
signatures to Open Forum letters.
Otherwise the Ubyssey cannot
print them.
The  Editor,
The   Ubyssey.
Dear Sir:
Are the reporters on the Ubyssey
void  of  a  sense  of  humour?
I was greatly surprised—and rather
indignant—to read the construction
put   on   a   humorously-intended   sug-
to ten. It is considered gauche-
awful to arriv. before a quarter
past. You start to dress for the
dance when the rest of the family
Is undressing for bed. You get bacK
in time to undress while dad is
dressing, and wondering when
you're   bringing  the  car   home.
SOCIAL ERROR
If you don't follow me, try the
"social ostracism" test copyrighted
by myself. You simply make the
naive suggestion that just as much
fun could be had by all if th-e rug-
cutting started at 7:30 p.m. Then
watch that hard look come over
their faces; find out what it means
to pack a social "no man's land"
around with you. And yet logic
condemns   the   whole   silly   mess.
Procrastination Is a disease. It ls
at  the  top  of the  list.
gestion for Red Cross War Work Aid,
as printed in the November 12th
issue of the Ubyssey — especially as
this article was taken up by a downtown   newspaper.
I am not (I hope) a prig, but it
seems to me that the printing of this
remark in a serious ' article cast a
unfavorable reflection on the Red
Cross (not to mention on yours
truly).
Anyway,  surely the  University has
received    enough    unfavorable    publicity on the subject of fan dancing—
at  least for one  session!
Sincerely,
—Rosemary (No-Dance) Lansdowne
Editor, the Ubyssey.
Dear   Sir:
Some of the Immoral jokes, fit
only for unmixed company, that have
been degrading this praiseworthy
paper are basely discreditable to our
University.
The Ubyssey is read by many non-
university and ex-university people;
people whose esteem we cannot afford to lose.
The inclusion of these licentious
items ln our paper ls assuredly jeopardizing this esteem we are all striving
to retain  and increase.
—Public Relations.
UNIVERITY  BOOK STORE
Hrs.: 0 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Saturdays 9 a.m. to noon
LOOSE LEAF NOTE BOOKS, EXERCISE BOOKS AND
SCRIBBLERS
AT REDUCED PRICES
Graphic   Engineering   Paper,   Biology   Paper, XMAS CARDS
Loose   Leaf  Refills,   Fountain   Pens   and   Ink NOW ON
and Drawing Instruments. SALE
** ** Special Student Rate at - -
CAPITOL   -   ORPHEUM   -   STRAND   -   DOMINION
By Presentation Of Your Student Pass
Ronald Colman
Ginger Rogers
"LUCKY PARTNERS"
also
"RIVER'S END"
ORPHEUM
Charles Laughton
Carole Lombard
in
"THEY KNEW WHAT
THEY WANTED"
CAPITOL
"RAMPARTS  WE
WATCH"
and Lupe Velez
"MEXICAN SPITFIRE
OUT WEST"
STRAND
Joel MacRae
"FOREIGN
CORRESPONDENT"
and Wayne Morris
'THE QUARTERBACK'
DOMINION
i Friday, November 19th, 1940
THE      UBYSSEY
Page Three
Joseph
Joseph
Wlystic Eastern Splendour
Thursday's   Lavish
What Alpha Delt councillor at the
Senior Class Party pulled a dead
sophisticated version of the Loopy-
loo that goes over with such a bang
at the Mixers .... he needs lessons.
• •    »    •
Seeing ns how they're not going
to have any corsages for the Arts-
Aggie, but only those little ribbons,
my girl frrend, Josie, says I have to
get her a box of Purdy's Chocolates,
ahe liked the last ones so much. I
guess that was a bad habit to start.
Besides, she'll be getting fat. Then
I won't love her any more. One
C.O.T.C. instructor ln the Caf. Saturday had quite a time. It seems that
his two comrades left him to struggle
with the girl alone, as well as contend with numerous hecklers. Purdy'«.
wrap up the chocolates ao snappily,
too. Why, it puts Josie in a good
mood, right to start off  with.
• •    •    •
Josie and I have been going to
Maynard Orpen's Dance Studio every
Monday night, and lt sure Is fun,
Monday is the special night for Varsity kids, too You get one hour's instruction, with three of a social
evening, sort of. At the Senior Class
Party, one girl received a rude
awakening when sh. had to pick
herself up off the floor . . . very
slippery wasn't it? It's at the Alma
Academy, and it only costs about two
bits a lesson. It's nice and cheap,
so we can afford to eat afterwards.
Josi. says it sure has improved my
dancing, and I can say the same for
hers.
«    •    •    •
Josie's got another new pair of
shoes. Imagine. But she says she
can afford a lot of them, -when the
price  is so reasonable, at Stacy's, 762
Draped figures glide by in an in-
cense-cloud-ed room to the accompaniment of mystic melodies of the East.
Under a canopy of Chinese lanterns
and gaily coloured balloons, exquisitely gowned ladies and immaculately
dressed gentlement manoeuver chopsticks and discourse ln oriental
dialect.
No, It Isn't a Shanghai night-club
of even a first-class Chinese La
Fonda, but the spacious Commodore all decked out In Eastern
guise. Thursday, November 21,
will see thla amarlng tranform-
atlon of one uf Vancouver's most
outstanding ballrooms on the occasion of the annual Arts-Aggie
Ball.
HIEROGLYPHICS
Even the most minute details will
conform to the essential oriental setting. Chinese hieroglyphics will be
written all over everything—-except
the boys' shirt fronts. For obvious
reasons, of course, the menus will
not be written In Chinese, but there
will be a certain amount of comment
Will Mark
Arts- Aggie
Ball
No Flowers
For Femmes
At Fling
Cornflowers and South
American orchids alike will be
scrapped next Thursday evening for brilliant blue and gold
ribbons when Artsmen and
Aggies turn out in full force to
the Arts-Aggie Ball.
-.,.,«,._     -™.     ,                             , For   once    ln     hls    llfe-     Freshman
Granville Street.   They're pumps, and Freddy   from   Dead   Cow   Creek   will
gee,  they  make  her  feet  look  small. £eel on a pai   with Ru      Joo of park
I   cant  kid  her  about  big  feet  now, Avenue   fame,   for   Freddy   will    be
when  she  wears  them     But  I   guess able  to  buy  Ws  glH  fHend
I can find something else to razz her „„„,   trlmminga   for   ihe   evening   as
on them in Chinese writing for the
benefit of any Arts or Aggie linguists
that may exist. Chinese symbols will
also adorn huge banners which will
be strung across the room.
SOUP GETS THE BIRD
Contrary to rumour believed circulated by malicious anti-Arts-
Aggle-lsts, studenta who attend
tho dance will NOT be forced to
struggle through long and boring
courses of oriental victuals. There
will  not even  be any  blrds'-nest
soup.
Little is known as yat about the
exact details of the menu, except
that it will be definitely western ln
character. The only item which lv__
been definitely booked is tender
young chicken, either fried, baked,
roasted, or parboiled, and garnished
with the usual sort of thing.
Presumably there will be some colossal type of desert followed by coffee
and  French,  no,   Chinese  Rolls.
In charge of distributing programs
which will be in the form of little
lanterns are two individuals known
to every student on this campus,
namely Chang Suey and Confucius.
It is expected that these two will be
the 'life of the party' and really give
zip to the evening's entertainment.
GEISHA-GALS
Entertainment    will    reach    Its
-tenlth with the appearance of an
UjU_.,t-4 **«   .VJ^ftOCM     MCLPPgAMA * h*ffi£
fijtl*
isiu*
ARTS *m_ Hit *AW piirAfO
y>*t*.\*—h %*%vt\**>c co*t*tx
<*H© MCtf  VCCV HftFP* T0$fTH_H
to
WMCft «ICW SU**g*U<X
«m*m\ OffOKC up THC
W0MAMg_T
something
about. Our love isn't half so much
fun when all goes along smoothly.
Here's th. Players' Club again. A
freshette member told one of the
male members that he had better
wash his mouth out with soap. Her
mother found it worked very well.
Stacy's have all kinds of dressy
shoes, Josie says, they're just swell
for going to see the Christmas plays.
Sort of neat, and smart without being too fussy.
•    *    •    •
My girl Josle she's going to get
on-e of those brand new formal gowns
that just arrived at the Inez Frock
Salon, 880 Howe St., to wear when
I take her to the Arts-Aggie ball.
1 tell her that ahe should get one
of th-e neat-looking woollen dresses,
too, special at $5.50, $7.95 or $10.50,
because would     make     her     look
cuter than ever when she sits in the
library these days poring over books'
for   the   fast-approaching   -exams.
will Joe. And besides, everyone will
feel that they are all pulling together for a great cause, for the sale
of ribbons goes to help the Red Cross.
INEXPENSIVE
The idea of selling these ribbons at
the Arts-Aggie is perhaps the best
scheme yet devised for helping the
Red Cross, because lt affects especially those students who can afford to h-lp and even then does not
entail extra expense. Ribbons will
prove less expensive than many of
the corsages commonly worn at University dances.
Actual price of the ribbons has
been set at 50 cents each. Girls who
stubbornly insist on wearing corsages will be forced to check them
and  don a  ribbon instead.
TUESDAY
The members of the Cercle Fran-
cals will hold an open meeting on
Tuesday, November the 19th, at 8:00
p.m.  In Arts 204.
Speaker will be Professor Henry
F. Angus, and his subject, "French
Canada and the Rowell Commission."
m     *     *     *
La Canadlenne will hold Its regular
meeting at the home of Mrs. Oliver
Bamfield, 5575 Angus Drive, at 8
o'clock, on Tuesday, November 19.
Miss   Janet   Grieg   will   be   the   guest
speaker.
• •    •    »
WEDNESDAY
The S.P.C. Art group will have an
Art discussion led by John Shadbolt
dealing with any phase of art on
Wednesday.
• *    *    *
THURSDAY
On Thursday the Industrial Seminar
Group will again hear John Wigdor
speaking on Canadian Labour of Today. Any students are welcome to attend the group discussions.
GET VALUE
IN   PRINTING
for  the  activities
of your—
SORORITIES
FRATERNITIES
SOCIAL
and
CLUB FUNCTIONS
THE
CLARKE & STUART
CO. LIMITED
Stationers  and  Printers
550 SEYMOUR STREET
VANCOUVER,  B.C.
Dance Expenses
Soar As Council
Demands Doubles
Inconsistent action of the student
council has caused members of the
Arts-Aggie executive considerable
merriment.
Henry Hayloft, special Aggie reporter to tlie Ubyssey, revealed this
week that the Council had ordered
the executive to cut down on their
list of free passes to the Arts-
Aggie ball in order to save money.
Accordingly, the executive cut the
number  rom  60  to  20.
When the council members received their passes they found that
instead of the usual double pass
they were being given singles. But
council has the the final word, and
at their Monday session the councillors unanimously voted themselves   double   passes.
Said the executive: "How can we
cut   the   expense?"
$4*
Y4/>/*
feOsl WiUtf
WAS *%tr t*4
*— 0
THJL   Str»9CA#(.y
A*J\\*\m**\mA--*^
fvtevnaov
err?  -Kiarmtfir
me t*ewT o*c* -i\,
A Chang Suey Mystery
By Oscar Seribbleweil
Chans Suey At The Arts Aggie
LOST AND  FOUND
LOST—Green mottled  fountain pen,
Thursday p.m. Turn into A.M.S. office.
Betty   Corbould.
LOST—Red Handkerchief at Mixer
on Saturday. Please, please return to
A.M.S. office. Valuable for sentimental  reasons.
LOST — Combination lock from
locker No. 497 in Arts building. Please
return to A.M.S. Office.
LOST—Shoot the mitts to me drips.
Green and white ones in brushed
wool, Arts 203, Thursday, 9:30. Please
leave in Pub.
LOST—"Canadian Farmers Co-operatives in Western Canada", by Patton.
Return to  Dean Clement's office.
LOST — Black and silver Waterman's pen—on parade grounds. Finder please return to Ken Keith or
A.M.S.  Office.
DINE
AND DANCE
AT
HOTEL VANCOUVER
Plunk, plunk, plunk, echoed the
stairs of the big stone castle behind
the illy pond; and plink, plink, plink,
the empty hall resounded as eight
muffled figures slunk through the
clusky building. Past the shadowy
tables they crept, pausing briefly at
the call desk for station identification,
then down tho one-way traffic stairs
to the stacks.
"Anybody got a stack permit?"
hissed the leader. Naturally nobody had, but they didn't let lt
worry them. Into a CarreU
crowded the eight, a simple feat
for Seniors who had ridden on
Beastly Electric buses for three
and a quarter years.
ART  FOR ART'S  SAKE
We bet you think the mysterious
creatures are the Dirty Nine minus
one (McTavlsh was bitten by his
pig bank and died of hydrophobia),
but they aren't; they're the Arty-
Aggie Ex-ecutlve planning their Ball
in a niee quiet spot where there
aren't any Engineers to toss monkey
wrenches into the well oiled machinery,   and  we  do mean oiled.
Sandy (Spinach) Hash, baby brother of the red Tin God, Barley Hash,
looked at his not-so-merry men. "W-e
gotta have atmosphere at this shindig," he burbled, "we gotta make
the dopes glad they're payin' through
the nose. Chop sticks, gongs, budd-
has, incense fumes—that's what we
need."
"I'll supply the fumes, boss," shrieked Anstey. Before the others could
stop him he filled his custom-built
pipe with Soapy Ropey Fine Cut and
puffed like the Kettle Vall-ey train
going up a ten-foot Incline. Even
shelf S 16 reeled when the odour
slapped it, and th-e other seven Arty-
Aggies passed out at the stroke of
tlie   match.
Brock Biers finally came to, extinguished Anstey and his rat
exterminator, and applied artificial perspl ration to his pals. Bon
Duckland began to mumble excitedly, as If he were holding a one-
man biological discussion, and
finally blurted forth, "What we
want Is Chang Suey!"
Tho others looked at each other
and each other looked at the oth-rs
and they knew Duckland was right.
He   always  was.
"Well, played, old man, ' girlishly
gurgled Fillus Mitchell, the only coed on the Aggie Exec, (tho Aggies
won't play ball unless they can havo
a   lady  secretary.)
"The only question is," beamed
Duckland, "where are we going to
find him?"
WING-JING  JIVE
He got the answer to that one right
away;    a   wlng-jlng   swished   through
hoi, polloi
Lister Sinclair
WEAKLY THOUGHT
What Nash wears on his feet
Are hardly trim and neat
But   wait   till   Margeson
Gets  his   bargeson !
* *    *    *
What did the owl say when it
rained? — "Too wet, to woo!!
• *   •   •
DANNY   THE   DINER
"Waiter,  have you any wild duck?"
"No sir, but we can procure a tame
ono and  infuriate it for you."
* •    *    *
RUTHLESS RHYMES FOR
HEARTLESS HOMES
Johnny minced his baby sister
Chopped her lip before they missed her
The now  depleted family
Has   babyburger   for   its   tea.
• •    *    *
"How did you find yourself this
morning?"
"Oh, I just turned back the bedclothes, and there I was!"
the air, parting his hair in a wind
blown bob, and a fiendish cackle
lifted   the   roof   off   the   stacks.
Chang Suey, cunningly disguised as a bookworm, popped
out of copy four of "An Intelligent Man's Guide Through World
Chaos", and slugged an assortment of wlng-jlngs into the Carrell, pinning the seven men to the
walls like so many rare butterflies.
"Aha, my proud beauty, I hav.
you at last," he sneered, slezlng Fillus
and diving tluough a secret exit in
the   card   catalogue.
"Can't we talk this over?" Implored
the Queen of Alfalfa Growers as they
sped through a network of drainpipes. "Come to the lab In the Aggie
Building and have a drink with me."
Chang S.'s evil mug brightened.
"El Stuffo?" he cackled, "I dote on
the  goo."
They shot into the Aggie Building.
"This way," pointed Fillus, and they
staggered into a room filled with test
tubes  and   bottles  of  white  liquid.
DEVILMENT IN THE DAIRY
"H-ere, have one," she said, passing
him a large flask. The oriental
monster gulped greedily, then uttered
a frightful oath in one of the lesser-
known dialects, spun dizzily for a
minute, and collapsed. The wily Fillus
had led C. Suey to the dairy lab,
and   lured   him   into   drinking   milk!
Deftly she bound and gagged him,
placed him on ice so he wouldn't
become any more rotten before
Thursday than he already was, and
went home  to sleep it off.
And  that,   dear  children,   Is  the
story of how the Arty-Aggies got
Chang  Suey   as .a   patron  for  the
Ball.
We've passed our exam.    Believe it or not-
we'ro a Grade "A" restaurant.
SNOW-WHITE LUNCH
ON TENTH AND SASAMAT
all-Chinese floor-show. Informed
circles are more close-mouthed
than ever as the date of the big
night draws nearer concerning the
special nature of this floor-show.
PEP MEET "—
Artsmen and Aggies will stage a
gigantic pep-meet today at noon
featuring original skits, and the music
of Ole Olson. Immediately following
this grand get-together of these two
faculties, students may purchase
tickets for th. Ball at the Quad box-
office. Tickets will also be on sale
In the Quad on Wednesday nnd
Thursday at noon, at the previously
announced price of $3.00 a couple.
Arrangements for the dance are under the capable direction of A.M.U.S.
President Sandy Nash with his committee of Ken Eldridge, Don Buck-
land, Doug Hume, and Phyllis Ellis,
and Aggie President Jock Byers, who
has Tom Annstey and Phyllis Mitchell  working  with  him.
Lending their patronage for the
gala affair will be President L. S.
Klinck , Dean and Mrs. Daniel
Buchanan, Dean and Mrs. F. M.
Clement, Professor and Mrs. E. H.
Morrow,   arid   Dean   M.   L.   Bollert.
Arts Pep Meet
Today Noon
Auditorium
Down  with  the Engineers!
It's the Artsmen and Aggies who
will hold sway when they assenfblo
for a super-colossal pep meet today
at  noon.
Besides the music of Ole Olson
and his orchestra, the pep meet will
feature entertaining skits by both the
Artsmen and the Aggies. Thus far,
the matter of these skits has been
shrouded in deep secrecy, so that all
that ls definitely known is that they
will be the latest thing and tremendously  entertaining.
After the pep meet, enthusiastic
students will storm the Quad box-
office to buy their tickets to the
Arts-Aggie Ball. Tickets are $3.00 a
couple.
CHEM. COACHING—All Chemistry
1 students who desire coaching (and
who doesn't) can make arrangements
for same by phoning Ken Shaw,
ALma 1064, after 6:30 p.m.
There Is stIU room for a few more
members In all sections of the Varsity
Band, including drummers. All those
Interested are requested to turn out
on Thursday, November 21, at the
South Upstairs Meeting Room, Brock
Hall.
CORSAGES!
The Arts-Aggie Ball and all fall affairs
are happier events for both when your
lady fair ls wearing a lovely corsage
from Brown Bros.
FLOWERFONE: MArlno 8321
Joe Brown   (Arta '23),  Mgr.
WffiTBROS.
& CO. LTD.
665 GRANVILLE STREET
Just Like
Owning Your Own
MERCURY
U-DRIVE
Clean  and   Classy
Cheap and Convenient
$1.50 All  Day  or  All  Night
plus mileage
VANCOUVER
MOTORS .DRIVE
901 Seymour        MA. 3311 Page Four
THE      UBYSSEY
Fr}ti6y, November 19th, 1940
Varied Requirements For Waxed-Plankers
Ubyssey   Expert   Presents   Skiing Advice  For Beginners
By BILL GALT
Because of the growing popularity of skiing as a sport, we, editorially
speaking, submit the following advice to beginners.
Tho general requirements of skiing are: a flexible and extensive vocabulary,  capacity 400 ounces,  a cute  blonde, and a rich  uncle.    As for  skis,
they should be of such quality that breakage is virtually  impossible  unless
the skier is at a distance of not less than five miles from his camp site.   The
skis   should  be   just   long   enough  so   that   a   person   falling   from   an   erect
position may, without undue strain, puncture an eye with each ski point.
Before starting out on a skiing (pronounced shelng)  expedition, one
should   select   a  mountain     covered   with  just   enough   snow   as   not   to
completely cover stumps, logs, streams, and other Interesting hazards.
CLIMB FIRST
Every local mountain is equipped with a trail, which might well be
defined as the longest possible distance bet-ween two points. The first
thing to do is to climb this trail. This takes anywhere from thirty minutes
for a freshman to six hours for a scienceman with co-ed.
Once  the  determined  victim  has reached  the  top  of  the  mountain he
would do well to master the following technicalities before getting  on  skis.
(1) Method of Movement:
(a) Tho Walk—possible only when going downhill, even then there
thero is a decided backward and downward motion while the novice
attempts forward motion.
(b) The Coast—not so easy as it sounds, see section  (2).
(2) Method of Stopping:
(a) The Sitzmark—Leaning back on that part of the body not discussed  in  polite  company,  until a slow stop has  been reached.
(b) Tho Stem—The toes of the skis are pointed inward, the skis are
crossed,  and tha skier comes to a very  quick  stop.
(3) Methods of Climbing:
(a) Sidestep—This  movement  needs  no   explanation.
(b) Herringbone—Since this is purely a theoretical movement as far
an this author is concerned, it will not be dealt with here. (Actually tho only way to reach the top of a hill is to remove the skis
and walk).
(4)    Methods of Turning:
(a) Christlanla—Also  a  technical movement.
(b) Telcmark—Ditto.
(Author has found the best method of turning is to remove ono ski and
drag the free foot In a method expounded ln his latest book—"The
Easy Way To Sleigh Ride", P35—67.3, now on all newsstands at
$3.67 — adv't.).
If the beginner follows this advice implicitly he will have no difficulty in
becoming the life of any skiing party.
N.B.—The   author   will   gladly   glvo  personal  Instruction   to   any   co-cd
who can answer to these requirements:
Colour—blonde, brunette, or otherwise.
Height—convenient.
Bust—ditto.
Hips—also.
Strength—none.
Wi 11-power—Di tto.
Interest  in skiing—nil.
Wed. Soccer
'A' vs. Woodv/s
'B   vs. Police
Arts-Aggie
Rugby Game
Wed. 4 p.m.
"Birds Take  Hoop   Lead;
Trounce Tookes 51 to 42
Varsity's  amazing  Thunderbirds  stretched  their  winning
streak to four games, the last one at the expense of Tookes, with
a 51—42 triumph on Saturday night at the V.A.C. gym.
This   gives   Varsity   undisputed
MAURY RIDES  AGAIN!
Undefeated Van Vlietmen Lead Hoop League
Arts-Aggie
Rugby Clash
Wednesday
possession of top spot In the Inter'
city League standings, having defeated  every  team  in  the  circuit
with   the   exception   of   Adanacs,
whom   they   will   meet   at   their
home gym a week Wednesday.
The   gamo   would   have   been   close
in score had not the  'Birds run wild
ln   the   first   quarter   to   build   up   a
13-4    lead.      The    9    point    difference
here   was  the  difference   in  the  final
score.
During   the   remainder   of   the   contest the   two  teams  battled  on  almost
ev.-n   terms,   Varsity   having   a   slight
edge on tho play.
RYAN STARS
Joe Ryan turned In another Impressive game at guard, playing the
whole four periods and picking up
9 points. Art Barton, who won
Thursday night's contest in overtime
against   the   Leafs,   garnered  11.
Varsity started strong and for a
while it seemed as though the game
was  going to  be  a   walkover  for  tho
stud-nts,   but the Shirtmen  rallied to
bring the score   to  21-25 at the  half.
Just  after  the  third  period  whistle,
Tookes   came   within   three   points   at
the   three-quarter   mark.
Tho final period was a wild
scoring, scrambling orgy. The students picked off 19 points to
Tookes 17 and the play was ragged
throughout. Doug Pedlow was
banished on four personal fouls In
this quarter for the second game
in a row.
BIRDS  FLY   HIGH
It is int' resting to note that throe
c,f Varsity's four wins have been by
scores of over fifty points, the only
team to reach that high so far thi-i
season. Tills gives an idea of thc
.'.hooting ability of the much improved   Thunderbirds.
Pat Flynn was top man for th.-
night with 15 points, 12 of which he
picked up in the first half. Jim
Scott, with 9, was also among the
high   scorers.
Pucksters Win 4-2
Take League Lead
Two thousand fans cheered Varsity's entry in the King
Crest league Friday night when the Blue and Gold pucksters
came through with a 4—2 victory over the Westminster Regiment.
Because Kirks and Plywoods battled to a 2-all draw in the
second half of the double header, this victory gives Varsity an
early hold on first place. 	
The   Thunderbirds   overcame   a   ono<§>	
goal   lead   in   the    first    period    when
Johnny Taylor netted one on a pass
from Ted Stevenson. By the end of
the second stanza Alfie Bonutto had
scored two sparkling goals for th-o
college squad, giving them a lead
that   was   never   overcome.
DEFENSE HOLDS
The Regiment came back strong in
the final period and mad. it 3-2, but
captain and goalie, Ed Benson, held
tho fort for the students with several sensatton.il saves. Then Jack
Moxon, shifted from the defense, got
the final tally that assured Varsity
of victory.
Although the forward lines were
not functioning smoothly Friday,
Coach "Cyc" Taylor fc-ad the boya
playing aggressive hockey. Jack
Moxon was a standout on defense,
breaking  up  many   dangerous  rushes.
The team went through a hard
practice Sunday night and are ready
for their next league game this coming  Friday.
Llnc-up: Benson, Moxon, Shllla-
bcer, Gill, Goodman, Harmer, Taylor, Bonutto, Stevenson, McArthur,
Frith. Home, E. Taylor.
SKI MEETING
All interested in thc activities of
the Ski Club are asked to attend
11 meeting today at 3:30 p.m., In
the South Meeting Room, Brock
Hall.
Golf Club
Hal Rhodes To
Present  Lecture
Wednesday at 12
Harold Rhodes, Vancouver's Internationally known golf pro, makes v.
long awaited appearance on the stage
of the Varsity Auditorium Wednesday when the golf club presents him
to the whole school with his lecture
and moving picture of the bigges.
names in  golf.
Rhodes, author of a book on golf
that has attracted nation-wide .»»-
tentlon, will show moving pictures of such great stars as Bobby
Jones, the Georgian Master; Law-
son Little, V.S. Open Champ;
Jimmy Thomson, golfs longest
driver; Benny Hogan, Jimmy De-
maret, Ralph Guldahl, Horton
Smith, and a host of other golfing big shots.
Following tho picture ho will give
a short lecture describing in detail
the factors that go to make up the
grooved   swings   of   the   masters.
Mr. Rhodes presents an extremely
iiitcii-.-.liii'.'; lecture and has had praise
frem such ati eminent man in golf as
Bobby Jon's himself. The lecture is
usually .' iven each yo.lr In tho Hotel
I Vancouver in aid of th<- Christmas
' cheer fund. The lecturo hero will b?
iiuiud.d    in   the    pass   system.
Above Is caught lu action thc former Oregon U.
backfleld star, Maury Van Vllet, now Men's Athletic
Director at U.B.C, who will envort for Vancouver's All-
Ktar Bulldogs football team this Saturday when that
aggregation tackles the famed Calgary . Bronks ut
Athletic Park.
Also on thc llnc-up are several former players from
last   year's   Varsity   "Wonder   Team",   Including   Johnny
—By   courtesy   Daily   Province.
Pearson.   Leo   Straight,   Hank   Stradlottl,   Angle   Proven-
znno,  and  stars  from  this  season's  squad,  Jim  Harmer,
Jack  Tucker, Graham Finlay and Bob Curry.
Besides playing for tho rebuilt Bulldog tcam, Van
Vllet Is nssoclatc-coach. The gridders have been work-
In-.; out nightly under the lights and advance notices
point to a nlp-nnd-tuck struggle when thc Calgarians
nine here for the  big classic.
CO-ED    SPORTS
HELEN MATHESON
"A" Soccermen At
Con Jones; "i
\On Campus
'B's"
The Senior B basketball tcam
thought that they could give Westerns of the A league a good gamo
on Friday, but they hardly expected
Lo pile up a lead of 31-18 by the timo
final whistle blew. Jean Thomson
flicked tho ball in for 13 points, and
Ruth    Wilson    for    9    points. Ruby
Palmer, a new player to tho t-eam.
unci Brenda Phillips played well on
the   forward   line.
Tht.    Ilne-up:    Frith,    Wilson    9,
Orchard.    Eckhardt   2,   Palmer   .1,
Phillips   4,   Thomson    1.1,   Bradley,
Cuthbcrt,  McWIlllams   —  31.
INTER.   A
The Intermediate A tcam was not
:o fortunate. I tit w nt down to ck-fo; t
bl'oot'e Normals with a score of 2.'t-H).
r'o;u'h E:W'p:i Hushwrrth was plea-u-d
with tho improvement in tlio team'*
game.    Hel. it  Bi'i-ndt  wa.;  hi;-h  . core
with  7  points.
Tho line-up: Long 4, Graham,
Matheson 2, Bowcll 1, Rogers 1,
Nell!, Renwlck 2, Brandt 7, McKenzie 2—19
At Memorial Park on Saturday the
Tj'.B.C. hockey team chalked up a decisive victory of 7 to 0 against Pro-
Rec 11. Five of the goals wero scored
by Jean Handling, the other two by
Gerry   Armstrong.
LOST — Black Parker fountain pen.
Finder   please  notify  BAy.   1377R.
LOST—A grey striped fountain pen.
Please   return   to   A.M.S.   office.
LOST —Trig.    book,
to   Alico   Watson.
Please    return
LOST—Black   Parker   fountain   pen
Plea.so phone BA.   1377R.
Tho Varsity "A" soccer team will
play Woodwards at Con Jones Park
n'.xt Wednesday at 3:15. If the squad
wins thi*. game it will take over
second place In the Wednesday
League   standings.
At   tho   same   time   on   the   campus
the   "B"    tvam   will   play   Police.
The  line-up  for  "A"  tcam:
D.   McLean,   S.   Roach,   S.   Wallace, C. Goodman, J. Robertson, F.
Sasaki,    J.    Morton,    B.    Herd,    L.
Young,  D.  Todd, G.   Stamatls.
As a bloodthirsty prelude to the
Arts-Aggie    Ball,    the    Arts    and
Aggie rugby teams will clash In a
game   at   the   stadium  next   Wednesday at 4 o'clock.
Both  teams  have  -whipped  up good
lineups    and    the   game    promises    to
be    a    great    battle. Th.    Aggies   will
be    led   by   Todd   Tremblay,    captain
of   the   McKechnie   Cup   fifteen,   and
Wally   Flicker,   who   starred   at   wing
in  the  last Cup  game.
On tlv ■ Arts squad are no less than
.six of tlie McKechnie ruggers: Evann
Davies, Al Gardiner, Jim Mainguy,
Jaek Bingham. Gerry Wood, and Don
Ralston.
After a big practice last Friday,
thc Farmers have made tho
solemn, earth-shaking prediction,
We'll win." The Artsmen are not
so verbose. They merely grunt
and point with a smile to the large
number of Senior team members
on their squad.
The game will count as a regular
fixture of the inter-faculty league,
of which Frosh and Science are also
members.
Rabid supporters of both faculties have become greatly excited
about the game and a furious, hut
clean, contest Is expected. Early
this week the Arts Intelligence
Dept. (the Aggies haven't got one
of those) discovered that the
Aggies are plotting to release their
two stadium sheep to run Interference for them.
Immediately the Artsmen set to
work to foil this terrible scheme.
All this week they have been slipping potent portions of "Medgc-
wick's Mush" and "Danny's Delight" Into the regular sheep fodder. This Is designed to render
tho animals Incapable of any action next week.
LINE-UPS
AGGIES — Scrum: J. Ryall, D.
Young, J. Clark, J. Turner, J. Roe,
J. Byers, J. Mont-ton, A. Shore, P.
Buck; Backfleld: W. Frlcker, E.
MacDonald, L. Sully, T. Tremblay,  S.  Hay, B.  Lloyd.
ARTS — Scrum: E. Davies. A.
Gardiner, J. Mainguy, B. Fleming,
D. Johnson, R. Mattu, J. Bingham,
I'. Bingham; Backfleld: B. Swinton, G. Wood, G. Lane, J. Smed-
ley. J. Perry, D. Ralston, B. Fairgrleve.
PHRATERS   —   Alpha     Chapter     of '
Phrateres    is    entertaining    Mrs.    Alice
Hcmm"nfl:i    in    Brock    Hall    on    Wednesday.   November   20,   at   3:30.   Everyone   invited.
Women Debate
Against Victoria
The much discussed subject of the
secession of Vancouver Island from
the Dominion will be the topic of an
inter-collegiate debate between representatives of the Women's Public
Speaking Club and of Victoria College,    Thursday    In    Aggie    100.
U.B.C. speakers supporting Island
secession will be Betty Corbould,
third year, and Peggy Moylos, second
year.
for   Victoria   College   will
Proudfoot     and     Brenda
Speaking
ix.- Angus
Smith.
Although
Vi.ncoi.iv_r,
not publicised much in
tills movement to make
Vancouver Island a crown colony lia.s
quito   a   fi llowing  on   the   Island.

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