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The Ubyssey Feb 3, 1933

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 WSwK '•■:!'!'••■■
ixvt i tor/****
VOL. XV.
Expense Account
Provokes Ire
Of Council
Prairie Debate Team Censured
By Council—Other Budgets
Passed
*
tilrosHeg
Issued Twice Weekly fsf the Students' Publications Board of The University of British Columbia
VANCOUVER, B. C, FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 3, 1933
No. 26
orateur    ) $80,000 Bequest
For Medical
Research
Students' CouncU has refused to
pass certain Items amounting to about
twenty doUars which were included
to the expense account of tbe debating team which recently traveUed
to Saskatoon. After a discussion of
the account, CouncU decided on Monday night to summon Nathan Nemetz
to give an explanation of these items.
CouncU members were unanimous
to the opinion that the account as
presented was ridiculous. "What gets
me Is that Nemets has the nerve to
get up to an Alma Mater meeting and
kick about expenses," declared one
member of CouncU.
' The financial report of the team,
consisting of NeU Perry and Victor
Dryer which debated to California,
was passsd at the meeting and CouncU members pointed out the strong
contrast between it and that of the
Saskatoon trip.
Other budgets were passed, including that of the debate against the
University of Manitoba team to the
Vancouver Hotel, those of the Senior
A basketbaU team's Invasions of
Vancouver Island and Washington,
and the visit of the Yakima basketbaU team to UJ.C. Admissions of
fifty cents' and thirty-five cents for
the Ellensburg game on February T
were approved.
Mark Collins, treasurer of the Alma Mater Society, was authorised to
travel to Seattle on February U at
the expense of the AM J, to Inter
view tiie graduate manager at tiie
University of Washington. The purpose of the trip wttl.be to obtain
pointers which might prove valuable
to improvtog the system -besng -used
here.
The Players Club was authorized
to hold the Spring Play on four
nights, the first night to be students'
night with an admission of fifty
cents.
The newly revised constitution of
the Pan-Heltenic Association was read
and approved. According to the constitution the sororities are to have
no representation on the Literary
and Scientific Executive.
Fwsh«ndSoi)H|Finai Try-out Roles
Hold Revels \     in u   , ,     m
Allotted in Flayers
Governors Disapprove Stadium
Levy
Tonight
>__■■_____> ^aa
Junior Classes Bury Hatchet
And Unite Class Parties
ANDRE HISETTE
Who wiU act as translator to the
programme "Les Chansons du Vleux
Temps", to be given this evening to
the University Auditorium by the
French Club.
For the first time to Its history the;
University of British Columbia has
received something to the nature of
an endowment from a public-spirited
citizen.
The late Dr. A. S. Munro has bequeathed the sum of 180,000 to the
university. This money will not be
avaUable until the decease of ths
beneficiaries, and wUl be then devoted to the furtherance of medical
research or possibly even the foundation of a faculty of medicine on the
campus.
Refusal of the Alma Mater Society's request to raise the Alms
Mater fee by one dollar to order to
create a permanent trust fund to
take care of maintenance and improvements of the stadium site, was
another item of business.
Tlie Board felt that to such times,
the addition of another dollar to the
fee to go directly to athletics, when
three dollars are already going to
that department of student activities, was uncaUed for. They were
not unfavorable to the proposal
however, and expressed the hope that
the measure would be brought up
At the Board of Governors' meet-
UeBeCe Chemists
Lead Canada
ln Prowess
High Record of
Among   Chemistry   Orads,
Says Dr. Clark
French Club Presents
Song Fest To-night
Tonight the French Clubs are presenting to the auditorium ''Chansons
du Bon Vleux Temps," a program of
old French and French Canadian
songs to mime and color, eeeh song [tog Monday night last two new sen-
being first given an Interpretation l6r »«triculation scholarships   were
r established, of the value of SUO each.
One of these wUl be awarded as the
result of open competition throughout the province, whUe the other
wiU be confined to those districts
outside Greater Vancouver and Westminster . This brings the total of
senior metric, scholarships to the
province up to three.
The amounts of the seven junior
by Andre Hlssstto. As further check
that nothing be lost by those who
know Uttle or no French, each song
wUl be acted to costume, with stage-
settings and lighting.
Rehearsals have been progressing
steadUy under Ethel Bassin for some
time, so a finished performance is
anticipated at the two shov«lngs t^jmatrfculation scholarships were to
day, at 4 and 8:30.   "T*'*'!*1^ *  ■■"ereaeed from 1100 to $150 each.
The price of admission is SO cents
and 35 cents (sections reserved) and
25 cents (unreserved). Tickets for
reserved sections may be obtained
at J. W. KeUy Piano House or from
members of the French Society,
General admission for the matinee
Is 35 cents,. student admission 25
cents.
DEPRESSION IS RESULT
OF WAR AND TARIFFS
SAYS DRDNM0ND
Postponement of the granting of
these scholarships wiU be permitted
on medical grounds only, It is stated.
"Even ln these days of Industrial
depression, there is practicaUy no
unemployment among graduates of
Chemical Engineering, or the Honors Course to Chemistry in Arts and
Science. Moreover all but two of
these graduates are making their
livelihood to some branch ot Chemical activity," states Dr. R. H. Clarke,
of  the  Department  of  Chemistry.
Fifty-one percent of these graduates are employed to B. C. and another twenty percent to Canada.
Forty-one have received their Ph.
D's and eighteen are engaged to
post-graduate work. Three are holding responsible positions with the
National Research CouncU to Ottawa.
Twelve are with old companies ln
Canada and the U. S. A. One is with
the Eastman Kodak Company, two
with the Shawnigan Chemical Company and eleven hold professorships
in American and Canadian Universities.
Besides this, the Chemistry Department leads all other Canadian
Universities ln awards from the National Research Council, as the following list shows: U.B.C. 45, Alberta
8, Saskatchewan 27, Manitoba 14,
Western Ontario 4, Toronto 28, McMaster 13, Queens 9, Laval 2, Montreal 4, McGill 38, New Brunswick
1, Acadia 3, Dalhousie 23.
Manitoba Debate
Nets $58 Loss
U.B.C.'s recent debate against the
visiting team from University of
Manitoba in Hotel Vancouver cost
the Alma Mater Society fifty-eight
dollars, according to the budget
which was passed at the regular
meeting of Student's Council on Monday  night.
Calvin Winter
Offers Noon
Concert
Popular  Selections Presented
By Home Gas Orchestra
"The national depression . started
from the war and certain ideas that
grew up during the war," stated
Prof. G. F. Drummond to speaking
on the "International Causes of the
Depression" to members of the International Relations Club at the
home of Dr. and Mrs. W. A. Carrothers Wednesday evening.
He listed four consequences of the
war as tensions that precipitated
present conditions. They were: the
intense growth of economic nationalism; the Russian experiment; the creation of a new alignment in international Indebtedness; and the development of a new industrial distribution the world over.
Tariffs, the speaker said, are the
by-product of the Treaty of Versailles, and a desire of each country
to become economically self-sufficient.
The rapid change of United States
from a debtor to a creditor nation
and of Germany from creditor to
debtor, presented a big problem in
reparations. The withdrawal of American funds and the speculative furor in Wall Street, however, were the
Immediate causes of the crash. Maldistribution of gold and high tar-
riffs in the creditor nation is a further aggravation. The backwash of
gold into the United States and
France made gold more valuable,
while hoarding In these countries
forced the price level down and intensified the net weight of the debt.
Regarding the industrial change
which Is due to improvement in industrial technique and growth of Integrated industries, Professor Drummond said the standard of living
should go up pro rata of the increase
in productivity, but it hasn't done
so.
In the discussion which followed
the speaker declared that if he were
tire Premier he would default payment because "I think that is the
only way to educate the Americans."
He does not hold out much hope for
the World Economic Conference.
Students turned out to their best
numbers to hear Calvin Winter and
the Home Gas Concert Orchestra
perform under the auspices of the
Musical Society on Thursday noon
ln the Auditorium. The program
featured Violet Barlow, young Vancouver singer with Frank Anders
as Master of Ceremonies.
The opening number, Rudolph
Friml's march, "The Three Musketeers" from the operetta of the same
name, was characteristic of the
whole program, which with the exception of "Slavonic Rhapsody," by
Friedmann was of a light popular
character. Violet Barlow's very
clear and full soprano voice was
shown to good advantage to the popular "L'Amour Toujours l'Amour,"
and "A Kiss to the Dark," the latter
being excerpt from a medley entitled "A Bouquet of Kisses."
Selections from GUbert and Sullivan's "Iolanthe" which is to be produced by the Musical Society this
month, included the "March of the
Peers" and the "Sentry's Song," but
did not give much idea of the delicate charm of the lighter songs for
which the opera is famous.
Mr. Anders hoped that the students
would support the Musical Society's
efforts and announced that the Society and the Home Gas Orchestra
would broadcast from the Hotel
Georgia on Monday, February 13, at
9 p.m.
"A Short Recitation" by the Master of Ceremonies, with amusingly
unsuitable sound effects from the orchestra, proved to be one of the best
received numbers on the program,
which also included "Let's Put Out
the Lights and Go To Sleep," and a
medley of coUege airs.
To help the students forget their
troubles, which Mr. Anders had heard
they were having with some sort of
drains, the Orchestra concluded its
program with selections from "Sunny
Side Up."-C.F.L.
Freshmen and Sophomore classes
have been having a hectic week up
to date, and there are indications
that they wUl continue having* it
right up until midnight sharp. February 3.
After tho tears ot hundreds of
freshettes ted aophettes had drenched
the campus for fear their respective
class parties would be caUed off, at
last a compromise was reached and
the two parties are to be held tonight to conjunction.
Tuesday, a crowd of three hundred
35era assembled to Arts 100, which is
becoming the regular noon stamping-
ground of the worried classes, and
ate then* lunch to comparative silence waiting for the draw for their
class party to take place. They had
everything on ice or so they thought,
with the Alma Academy booked for
the night, supper arrangements concluded, and permission to run wild
from eight to twelve.
A Sad Story
The question of the orchestra waa
a "moot point" when President Sid
Evsns braved the Intermittent rain
of lunch papers to take his stand on
the platform and the gleeful students suffered a slight check to theIr
emotions. A deep frown puckered
the forehead of the chief executive.
What he said sent them still deeper
toto the depths of dismay. Approximately half of the funds necessary
had been received and if insufficient ducats came roUtog to by six
that evening, holding of the concert
was Impossible. There would be no
draw.
Sadly the seniors dispersed, disappointed spectators cheered but Uttle by the announcement that "If the
required total In funds" wag not
reached that day the draw would be
held Wednesday.
A Solution At Last
Wednesday, at three minutes after
twelve, Arts 100 was fiUed to capacity, and others stood four deep at
the exits. Arts '35 and '38 executives hovered around the desk in
full force, so that the eager audience
had guessed what was In the air even
before President Evans opened his
mouth.
Yowsah, Freshman and Sophomore
had gone into each others' arms. The
combined dance would be held at
the Alma Academy, hours eight to
twelve, and the orchestra would be
(Please turn to Page Two)
* Alibi'  Production
Bill Sargent Selected For Role of Hercule
Poirot—Betty Wilson is "Sweet
Young Thing"
Final choice of those taking part in the Players' Club
Spring Play has finally been made. The leading part in this
exciting mystery play will be taken by Bill Sargent in the role
of Poirot, a Frenchman, and "the most famous detective in the
world." Caryl, the "sweet young thing," who plays opposite
him, will be Betty Wilson. She and the other feminine members of the cast provide many good reasons why sciencemen
and other people are expected to attend the performance in
force.
Shepherdess
KATHLEEN COLES
Who is taking the role of Phyllis, an
Arcadian shepherdess, in the Musical
Society production of "Iolanthe."
Red Cross Tickete To
Sell For Needy
Student Council has sanctioned the
sale of tickets for "The Queen waa
in the Parlor" to be presented at the
Empress for the benefit of the Red
Cross on February 8, 7 and 8. The
money wUl be used for clothing the
unfortunates who are suffering from
the snow and depression. Tickets
will be on sale in the quad box office, today, at noon and at the business office of Student CouncU.
Prices are low: 75c for front orchestra, SOc for back and balcony. Special matinee on Wednesday 8, only
40c.
Air Debaters
Over CNRV
<$> BiU Whimster is to be Sir WUUam
Talbot, a very disturbing character.
The action of the play takes place
to his country home. Mrs. Talbot, a
disagreeable shaUow old woman, wiU
be portrayed by Mary Darnborough.
The part of Flora, her daughter, who
prefers money to the devoted love of
Major Blunt, wUl fall to either Frances Mclntyre or Jacqueline McGregor.
Blunt, a fine example of the inarticulate Englishman, wUl be played by
Gerald Prevost.
Male Paris
Parker, the butler, who acta suspiciously through a good part of the
baffling entanglements of the action,
is played by Cyril Chave. The famUy
physician, a close confident of Sir
WiUlam, is acted by Stu Keate and
Ran Matthison Is Hammond the~fam-
ily soUoltor and also a close friend
of WUUam Talbot. Gordon Hilker Is
the very efficient'secretary to the
baronet
Major Blunt's rival for the hand of
Flora is Ralph, the stepson of Sir WUUam. His part is played, by Doug
Smiley. Gordon Lea wtU be the conventional cock-sure police inspector.
Masala Cosgrave is an extra special
brand of parlor maid by the name
of Bourne. Margot, petite, vivacious
French maidfl who Is a devoted worshipper of the great Poirot, wUl be
played by either Frances Mclntyre
or AUce Daniels.
Understudies
The understudies are as foUows:
For Poirot, Cyril Chave; for Caryl,
Pat Ryan; for Mrs. Talbot, Margaret
Palmer; for Parker, Gordon Lea; for
Davies, Bill Lynott; for the Doctor,
Ran Matthison; for Blunt, Harold
Lando; for Raymond, BUl Lynott; for
Bourne, Molly Eaktos.
Rehearsals are weU under way for
this play which wiU set a precedent
among the Spring Plays presented by
the Players' Club. Its gripping mystery wiU hold audiences spell-bound
during the three nights of its presentation, according to those who sat to
on the try-outs. An unusual amount
of acting abUity has become evident
among the new-comers to the ranks
of the Thespians.
TEN YEARS AGO
LOST-WUl the person finding the
Human Psychology book with Eleanor
Leach written in it please return it
to the book store.
(Taken from the files of the Ubyssey
February 1, 1923)
Fighting, scuffling and loud laughter in the halls. Disturbed lectures,
irate professors. Something must be
done. Drastic measures shail be
taken. Students remember the honour system and Tuum Est. No this
is not a brand new proclamation by
CouncU, It is the warning deUvered
by Marshal Jack Lundy to the students of '23. Student nature does
not change as some learned philosopher  (I forget which) remarked.
In February, 1923, the student body
was all pepped up about the spring
play, "You Never Can Tell." It was
to be prodoad at the old Orpheum
and did the students get a thrill out
of that?
Due to the depression Aggie '25
and '26 were unable to give separate
class parties so they had the bright
idea of combining them. Aren't you
original '35 and '3fi?-Z. B.-C.
LOST - Large Wrist Watch, nickel
case, metal bracelet; either to Mechanical Building or along West MaU.
Finder please return to Book Store.
Reward.
An innovation in debating circles
will be Introduced this evening when
Vaiylty orators tackle a duet of Alberta speakers, over CNRV.
MUt Owen and Jim Ferris are
fairly confident that they will present a good argument and from at-
vance notices the Albertans feel positive that they wUl justify their
choice as representatives of the McOeown Cup holders. Both Mr.
Flick and Mr. Poole are graduates
of their Alma Mater, and both are
debaters of long experience.
The 'question to be decided, "Resolved that Inflation is not to the
Best Interests of Canada" is one
which is now of major import In
Canadian politics, and the debate
this evening wiU doubtless throw a
great deal of light on the subject.
Contrary to custom there will be
no judging and no decision wiU be
given   .Each speaker will be given | Very Rev.' 6. S. o\iatoton,"bean "of
Columbia.
The Dean of Victoria has recently
returned from Great Britain, where
he came ln close contact with the
leaders of tne Oxford movement, now
sweeping North America. He Is weU
known to students generally, and a
large attendance Is expected at his
lecture.
Dean Quainton To
Discuss Oxford
Movement
"The Oxford Movement" wUl form
the subject of an address to students
on Tuesday next In Arts 100, by the
10 minutes and a five minute rebuttal wUl be granted the negative.
"In ail likelihood this will be Varsity's last major debate ot the season," remarked Neil Perry, L.S.E.
President. "I feel certain that our
boys will give a good account of
themselves and lt Is my hope that
every student at the University wUl
forego "CecU and Sally" for "Owen
and Ferris."
"I am particularly desirous that
this debate be successful, both as to
technical details and from the point
of view of public appeal, since, if so,
it may be only the first of many sim-
Uar contests. It must be remembered that radio debates involve Uttle or no expense," said Vic Dryer,
orator of the Parliamentary Forum,
in an interview with the Ubyssey.
Neither of tonight's debaters had
much to say. Jim Ferris, Premier
of the B. C. Boys' Parliament and
newcomer to Forum debating circles, expressed the hope that he
would justify his choice. MUt Owen's only comment was, "O.K. Varsity. We wUl be on the air at 6:45
P.S.T."
LOST—1 kit of Tools opposite the
Stadium. Finder pleaae notify D.
Kennedy, Comm. '36.
COMING EVENTS
TODAY-Valedictory   Meeting,
Classes of '33, Arts 100,12:15.
"Chansons   du   Bon   Vleux
Temps",    Auditorium,   8:30
p.m.
Boxing   Club   Meeting,   Arts
108, noon.
SATURDAY     -     BasketbaU,
U.B.C. vs. Sparlings, VJ..C.
Gym, 8 p.m.
TUESDAY   -   Basketball Pep
Meeting, Auditorium, noon.
S. C. M.   Lecture  by   Dean
Quainton, Arts 100, noon,
Basketball-U.B.C. vs. EUens-
burg Normal, U.B.C. Gym,
9 p.m. Page Two
THE UBYSSEY
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 3, 1933
(Member C.I.P., P.I.P.A.)        Telephone: Point Grey 206
Issued twice Weekly by the Student PubUcations Board
of the Alma Mater Society of the University of British
Columbia, Vancouver, B.C.
Mall Subscriptions: $2.00 per year
Campus Subscriptions: fl.00 per year
EDITOR-IN.CHlEF-.Fi St John Madeley
SENIOR EDITORS
Tuesday: Stuart Keate/ Friday: Norman Hacking
Sport Editor: Day Washington
News Manager: Frances Lucas
Associate Edltorst Archie Thompson and John Cornish
Associate Sport Editors) Arnold White, Christie Fletcher
Literary Editor: Kay Crosby Feature Editor: Guy Palmer
Assistant Editors: Jack Stanton, Zoe Browne-Clayton,
Boyd Agnew, David Jacobson
Exchange Editor: Nancy Miles
Free Lancesi E. J. Costain and A. Mayse
Office Assistant: Janet Hlggtobotham.
■BPORTORIAL STAFF
Oanerali Mary Cook Darrel Ckmery, Jeanne Ukeman-
Shaw, Esparance Blanchard, Doris McDiarmid, W. H.
Birmingham, Edgar Vlck. Ted Madeley, Vivian Lexlar,
Gerald Prevost.
tnertt Jimmy Moyes, CoUn Milne, Ted Wilkinson, Dick
Briggs, Frank Thorneloe, Ifrrry Jackson, Dick Euon,
TOTEM STAFF
Editor: Pat Kerr
Associate Editors: Virginia Cummings and Loona Nelson
Assistants: Ruth Madeley and Hedley S. Fowler
BUSINESS STAFF
Business Manager) Reg. Price.
Circulation Manager* J. Balcombe.
Cumulation Assistants: C. Tompklnson, Alex Wood and
Elmer Simpson.	
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 2, 1933
GOOD OLD CAUTION MONEY
Once again cornea a request to the students
to sign away caution money, but this time, it
seems to us that the object is something more
tangible, something for whloh value will be
received
We know that serious drains have been
made end are being made upon studentg' resources, but the appeal has gone forth and aa
answer must be made.
At the Alma Mater meeting a week ago today, there seemed to be some doubt as to whe-~)
ther the proposals outlined would produce the
desired results. Let us point out, that ss
far as drainage plans go there can be ao definite assurance whatever. The only thing the
students can pin their hopes to is the fact that
the report has been approved by Mr. Woottan
of the Parka Board, who should know What
he is talking about.
Quite apart from the fact that we should
have a respectable playing field Is the fact that
putting the field in good shape should be
good investment from the financial standpoint.
Once we get a field that we can invite other
teams to play upon, we can charge admission
Apes and Ivory
By Arthur Mayse
«♦
My ape wouldn't stop crying. Crouched in
his nest in the copy-basket with his paws over
his face, he sobbed and whimpered pitifully.
"They're saying things," he wailed. "Nasty
things about you and meeee! I must have a
name at once, Bill."
A delicate point, this.
"Well," | told him, "our reputations shall
be protected without loss of time."
So we held a Christening party for my literary ape and, with all due formality of book,
bell, and lily pond water, named him Peter.
And henceforward and forevermore, to the
credit of his Alma Mater and the glory of Ihe
nation
Anyway, we named him Peter.
Hare at my altar to tne forest's heart
I come to worship under a cedar giant
In this lost place, to loneliness apart
From hurried life, a wearied suppUant
Hear now my prayer, 0 unknown Dietyt
Accept It as an offering from one
Whose object is to shun society
To speak with thee unhurriedly, alone.
The smoke that from my altar fire arises
Straight to the blue, untroubled summer sky
Carries my conjectures and my surmises;
My weary soul sends forth this pleading cry,
"Hear me in this my crisis of aU crises
And end my questioning soUloquy."
—E. J. Costain.
The Fountain, by Charles Morgan — A. A.
Knopf. Reviewed by D. R.
This book is written in a most engrossing
manner — indeed, one hates to set it down before reaching the end. Perhaps the mala interest lies in the author's masterly portrayal of
character, especially in the case of Julie and
Allison, though tiie minor characters too are so
skilfully delineated mat, as they* walk across
the pages, one regrets that the author does not
j dwell longer on them.
The plot is light, but is cleverly handled;
even in the first chapter the characters are
developed, thus gaining tiie immediate interest
of the reader. Allison, a young Britigh offi-
Icer of scholarly tastes, is interned in Holland
for duration of the World War. Here/due
to the hospitality of a Dutch family, he is enabled to give himself to the study of contemplative thought throughout the ages. Here,
also, he meets Julie. She is a childhood friend
with whom he has lost touch, and at the time
of the story ia married to a German officer
serving at the front. The delicate love that
springs up between them is complicated by the
return   of   the   German   husband,   Rupert,
and niake'our Tin'term's ajTTiTrtT^ woxxnded, and In g^eat physical »«««'!«««^ A
ceipts go, instead of meekly taking the decision
of the downtown sport moguls.
It is only a little think to ask, but we do
not hesitate to ask it, for we know the response
will be adequate.  It's up to the student s now.
ORGANIZED LABOR AND CAMPUS
AFFAIRS
Recently the Musical Society called for
tenders for the construction of scenery for
their coming production "Iolanthe." Members
of a local of tiie A. F. of L. and a non-union
man submitted.
The tender submitted by the union man
was considerably lower than that of the nonunion man, but was submitted on the condition that he be allowed to use any or all the
scenery on the stage.
The non-union man's tender was accepted.
For fifteen years the local stage-hands' union has been trying to obtain control of the*|
University stage, so that they can inaugurate
their policy of dictation as to the number of
men needed for a show.
** The Council has made a wise decision in not
allowing the union to gain a firm footing.
HOW LONG, OH LORD? HOW LONG?
We are beginning to wonder just when the
new constitution, which we first heard about
When plans for the Handbook were being discussed 'way back last May, is going to materialize.
It seems to us that a little procrastination has
become a dangerous thing. The time is coming,
as the walrus said, to talk of many things, in
the form of elections. As every one knows,
unbiased discussion is a mathematical impossibility with elections in the air.
Already there are rumours of nominations,
so it behoves the great ones up above to "stand
and deliver" if they are to maintain a reputation for efficient control of student affairs.
Surely our legal advisor, who seems to have
so much to say concerning the running of student affairs, has succeeded in arousing the
snoring monster in Victoria sufficiently to clear
up the interpretation of a certain clause in the
Societies Act.
man of philosophical mind, guided by a noble
code of ethics, he forgives Julie on his deathbed. This scene is one of the most poignant
bits of writing that has come to the notice of
the reviewer.
Allison as a deep and enquiring student', as
well as a "man of feeling," will stand out in the
memory of the reader. Julie* too, with her
intelligence and her feminine charms, will not
soon be forgotten. But Rupert, although Mr.
Morgan diH not give him the attention he gives
to his other characters, is in some respects a
better creation than either Allison or Julie.
Another aspect of the book that will rouse
admiration is the skilful way in which tiie
Dutch atmosphere of mildness and limpidity is
kept.
Sleep, for the day has been weary,
Tne way has been long, has been steep-
Fair is the land of dreams,
Sweet is the gift of sleep!
—Monica Laresohe.
By error, the last stanza of Dr. H. T. J.
Coleman's poem, "I Saw Five Peaks," was set
down incorrectly in last week's column. It
should read as follows:
And when the sunset colours ail had faded
And the bright moon
Brought night with aU her train to solemn order
Unto night's noon,
Above tiw shadows I could sttil descry
Five peaks against the sky.
MISSION PASTOR
It was no church for him.  He was too fine,
Too far above that thriU-deslring crew.
They planned, behind his back, tor someone new,
He cast his pearls to something less than swine.
One could have laughed had lt not been so sad
To see him stand, the lonely dreamer there
Preaching, or with his tired face raised to prayer
Fighting for souls where no souls might be had.
I think Christ came into our church that night
When the late spring flamed sweetly into June
And white-winged moths danced blind out of the
noon
To beat their wings against the hard, hot light,
For he spoke strangely at his sermon's end
As if to greet some weU-beloved friend.
"If the caps fits ... " seems to be worry;
ing quite a few people these days. All we can]
say is, if it does, put the damn thing on.
If there were a three-unit course of Chinook at U.B.C, I would certainly take it.
Chinook, you see, is a jargon entirely without
grammar; you string your words together as
the fancy takes you, and clack them forth in
the hope of being understood. Contrary to
general belief "tillicum" does not mean friend.
It means "people," and is used with "mlka"
or "nika" to represent your or my people. r*.^,,^ «.».,, s^™
C^ltihin^/0I£,^,;dll"fiX•,,   f^as^l^^Kln^
good dictionary of the Chinook jargon Is pub- finder please turn In at the Both.
lished by T. N. Hibgen and Co. of Victoria.      store.
IF THE CAP
FITS   ejj   .
Come old folks, come young folks,
come everybody come,
Come read the Gossip Column and
make yourselves to home;
Be sure to park your culture with
Chang Suey by tiie door,
And you'U hear more dirt on Varsity than you ever heard before.
•   •   •
It's reUable that a certain petite
Gamma Phi Is going to the next
party with her brother, to keep some
half-doeen excited swains from each
others' throats, . .
One stalwart arose to address a
class meeting the other day with the
classics opening, "Mr. President and
brothers!" ...
One at least ef the more dignified
Greek associations on the campus
regards this column with a lifted
eyebrow ... Just so long aa they
stick to eyebrows ...
There are things too dirty even for
a dirt eolunin--anonymous letters to
sorority rushees being one of them.
And then there is ths one about
the Alpha Kip who pretends he
doesn't know that one of the remarks
to Tuesday's column was about him
ess
And that Alpha Dolt who decUnes
to state with what young female he
is playing the ancient and honorable
game of battleships at the moment..
And tha Sap who arrived at the
Sdence party with a pair of silk
Trying to chisel In on that rhyme
scheme was a FIJI who was playing
Spin the Bottle" with a Kappa
Sat'day nits ...
A celebrated Muok character is objecting to betas dragged toto the
gossip column; says he's dean muck
"Morton" has heard that tiie man
who wrote "I am a Fugitive from a
Chain Oang" was neatly only being
rushed by a fraternity ...
r
Corretpondtnce
Editor Ubyssey,
Dear Sir:
After reading the various repUes to
the letter of tiie "Two Sophisticated
Co-eds," we feel that certain U.B.C.
man are exceedingly brilliant, if
nothing else, If one may judge them
by their biological researches, l.e„
that a dead body cannot he embarrassed. These two young todies made
an unfortunate choice to tiw use of
that particular expression, but on
beholding some U.B.C. men, we realize that the aforementioned are
probably not dumb enough to be
found alive with one. It is true, as
"Mr. Smith" says, that there are
many very charming males on the
campus, but these are not as conspicuous as the unhappy majority.
Referring again to Mr. Smith's statement, "it would be a rather shocking state in which to find a girl with
any man" . . . ." referring, ot course,
to the corpses—may we advise that
gentleman to, as thi old proverb
goes, keep his mind out of tiw gutter.
Tours truly,
TWO MORE CO-EDS
Frotli and Sophs
Combine Pftriiat
At Alma Tonight
(Continued from Page One)
one of seven pieces, directed by none
other than Alfie Evans, brother to
Sid. The name of the group was
''Collegians" and from Sid's account
they have what it takes.
Movement of Movements
At this point Honorary Preddent
G. G. Sedgewick made his appearance to conduct the draw, event of
events! With what palpitations did
Freshette hearts flutter as they gazed
soulfuUy across the aide into the
mde ranks! With what grace did
His Lordship extract the ladies'
names from the box and read them
aloud.
Bill Lynott gave tickets to the girls
in turn whUe Sid Evans completed
tiw arrangements by naming the
partners from a second box.
Sentence was passed upon approximately fifty boys. The rest of the
girls drew blanks, with the privilege
of Inviting any University man to
be their escort for the occasion. "I
am happy to say that I am free for
that evening," said Dr. Sedgewick
as he completed the explanation, and
the meeting broke up in a near riot.
So tonight the exuberants will cavort to their hearts content. Whether
they wUl be content ln each others'
company, an experience yet untried
remains to be seen.
COME AND GET IT
Holders ot Book Exchange vouchers
may cash them at the Accountant's
Office, Auditorium 303, from February 7-14 Inclusive. AU students who
hold any of these vouchers are asked
to get them cashed as soon aa possible in order that the operations of
the Exchange may be closed for the
year.
Book exchange recipts may also be
exchanged for pay vouchers at the
B. S. office between the same dates.
It*
s a wise
Bird
who smokes Turret cigarettes. He
knows from experience that only
the choicest Golden Virginia tobacco can give that smooth, mild
quality for which Turrets are famous.
There must be many wise birds in
Canada, because there are more
Turrets sold in the Dominion than
any other Virginia ciaarettes.
10 for lie
M for Mc -and la flat tins of
IB for He fifty end one hundred.
Save tiie Poker
and Mildness
CIGAKETTES
Imperial Tokasse Osmpeswet Canada,Uasltsd
CUm and Club
INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS
CLUB
The next meeting ef the International Relations Club wUl be hdd on
Wednesday, February 1, at the home
of Mrs. W. A. Carrothers, IStt Western Crescent, at 8 p,m. Professor G.
F. Drummond wUl speak on "The
Internationd Causes of the Depression." '
At the annud meeting, hdd two
weeks ago, reports of the different
sections of tiw Conference at Seattle
were read and the Club elected the
foUowing officers: preddent, G. Luxton; vlce-preddent, Virginia Cummings; secretary, Rita Uchiyama;
committee, Hden Gaylor and E. C.
D. Wilson.
L'ALOUETTE
The next meeting of L'Alouette
will be held on Tuesday, February
7, at 8:15 p.m. at the home of Mrs.
H. C. Gregg. 4117 West Tenth avenue.
Take No. IS ear and get off at Canto-
sun street.
Miss Joan Danzelger wiU be the
speaker.
CANADIAN   OFFICERS  TRADING
CORPS
The Annud Inspection of (he
Corns wttl take place March 1 at 8
pan. at tho Beatty street DrlU Hail.
It is absolutely essential that every
member of the Corps attend at this
inspection and at the foUowing parades February 8, February 16, February tt.
The annud dance wUl be hdd at
the Jericho Country Dub on Wednesday, March 8.
Only members who have attended
the above mentioned parades and inspection will be eligible to attend the
dance.
WOMUTS TRACK
There wttl be a practice for the
Women's Track Club in the gym.
from 3 to 4 today. AU those interested please come. Ihe inter-class
track meet wiU take place on March
15.
PHYSICS CLUB
"I remember-I remember," was Ihe
theme for addresses by four feouHy
members ef tiw Phydcs department at
a meeting ef the Physics Club held
on Tuesday, January 81, at the home
of Or. and Mrs, A. E. Henntogs.
Anecdotes of college days-tiw email
amount of laboratory apparatus avatt-
able—their first research workHthdr
professors—students of "Toronto the
Good" ripping up class-room benches
—thtir work under famous sokntiats
such ss MUUkan, Mlohelson, and
Chant were nwntiotwd in the abort
talks.
Speakers ware Dr. A. E. Henntogs,
Dr. J. G. Davidson, Dr. O. II Shrum
and Dr T. C. Hebb, head of the Department.
LOST — Anglo-Saxon Reader and
Grammar (Brlght's). Finder please return to Aud. 806, or Pat Kerr.
V. C. u.
On Friday noon to Arts 804, Rev. A,
C. Bingham, minister of Orandview
Baptist Church, wiU lead tiw Union
to a Bible study. Mr. Bingham la an
exceUent Bible teacher and aU Interested are cordially wdcome to
come and hear him.
HOTEL
GEORGIA
Popular Rendezvous for
All Student Functions
Tea Dansants
Banquets
Dinners
Class Parties
SEY. 5742
Sasamat
Barber Shop
Our Motto IS Satisfaction .
Ladies' and Gentlemen's
Haircutting
4473 10th Avenue West
AUTOMATIC
H*I*A*T
AT NO EXTRA COST
Special Lew Rates for ses
heating place it within reach
el everyone. No more stoking or carrying out eshes—
just convenient, effortless,
clean heat... automatically.
Let us send you particulars.
B.C.£lectric
«AS   DEPARTMENT
University Book Store
Hours: 0 a.m. to S p.m.; Saturdays, 9 a.m. to 1 p.m.
Loose-Leaf Note Books, Exercise Books and Scribblers
at Reduced Prices
Graphic and Engineering Paper, Biology Paper.
Loose-Leaf Refills, Fountain Pens and Ink.
Ink and Drawing Instruments.
Crepe Paper for Masquerades, etc.
ALL YOUR BOOK SUPPLIES SOLD HEBE
J Friday, February 3,1933
THE UBYSSEY
-Page Three
Ghastly Grime
Committed
The Dinosaur paused to hla stride.
CarefuUy he sniffed the air. Scenting no danger, he crest down to the
water's edge, there he hid himself
behind a pUe of hay.
Presently a gastUe came gaxelltog
down to the path. The dinosaur
tensed his muscles and prepared to
leap. The sweet uttle garnle, unaware of danger, stooped down to
drink. Minutes paassd, and the dinosaur did not appear to be to a hurry. The Muok reporter walked
around to him, and found the poor
beast groaning te himself, "obserk,
gruk ai blipl" This, tnndated by our
expert, means, "Curses, I forgot I
am herbivorous."
The huge saurian ambled forth,
covering acres ef round at a stride.
Suddenly he paused in his stride.
Just ever the neat hUl he remembered a fldd of hay. Again he pur.
sued his way.
*js%^   ^tft^tr  gweeaw  apew n^niwsjov • wg"as were   aaw^e
caught Uf to him, the poor beast
wag sobbing ia tins middle of tiw
♦^ffg™a   ^w   ne^^wBjM>spea#   f^ew^se   tC^tsE*        w^nr
seek, wor eb dros." This means,
"Curass, I am so big that I cannot
grasp this hay to my cavern-Uke
mouth." (Observe how much can be
cxprscssd to a few choice Stone Age
words).
The Muck reporter, kind soul, was
Just conddertag tho advisabUlty of
ceding thc poor brute seme sandwiches, when a raucous voice shouted in IngUsh, "OK. folks, that's all
for tonight." Whereupon the dinosaur subdded, and erupted, until It
had disgorged some twenty-five men.
"Obserk, Helen Hlghwater," gaspedj
the Muck reporter, meaning "Io this
is HoUywoed."
KOUNCILKRAX
Osborne: "I wss dtting with my
back two chairs away."
Whimster and Osborne: "I don't like
American women."
Whimster: "This councU meeting's
the bunk."
"Chansons Du Bon Vleux Temps."
"Just Whore The Bus Stops"
Pi Grey ft, Night Calls BUtott 11M
R* >. PATTlt\tONt R.A.
public smfooRAnaDi
441*1W. Tenth Ave* ten., B. C.
Manuscripts, Essays, ThcaM, He.
SENIORS!
Please mail or bring in
your proofs at once
Tour co-operation In this respect Is absolutely necessary if
the Totem Is to be out on daw.
833 Granville St
Phone Sey. 8737
Ugplomet
Krasmulr
Oogluk paused to his stride. Oogluk
was not a man. He was not a bear.
He wm not even a member of the
Aplaoophora. He was half ape, half
man, He wu the Missing Link. He
paused to his stride so that we might
examine him. The first thing that
struck ' the observer was Oogluk's
fist, if the observer was displeadng
to the Missing Ltok. Oogluk was
not a nice person to know.
He was cailed the Missing Link
because he was always missing something, sill half-formed brain was
Incapable of remembering anything
that happened three days ago. Tbla
was very convenient, as it wu quite
cafe to borrow the odd five-spot from
him. Chank Quay even, went to the
length of borrowing a bunch of bananas on Tuesday, and demanded their
return the next Sunday. Oogluk
obediently handed over the second
hunch, and was quite satisfied that
aU obligations had been cancelled.
But let us aUow Oogluk to resume
his hurried march. He has just had
a telephone caU that a Blessed Event
is about to take place to his home.
The Missing link was worried. He
remembered he had a mate, because
she had burned the bacon that morn-
tag. But he could not remember
anything before that. And, as I say,
he was distinctly worried.
 (Asterisks)
Twenty years later. Oogluk's
daughter was curled up at the very
top of a huge Slphonophore, that
spread the shade of Its prognathous
leaves over a large chunk of ground.
And what was Iiklpoqulg doing, you
might ask. That's what was worry-
tog Oogluk. Hidden to tiw depths
of a neighboring tree, he was watching bar closely. And she seamed to
be on fire, and enjoying the process*
"Plink plong, lksl pish tush?" he
shouted at last, meaning, What the
heck do you thing you are doing?
"I'm smoking a Sabre-Tooth cigarette," she replied, "have one and
enjoy mouth happiness."
At last!! Humanity had been created! Civilisation and Muohnocracy
were on thdr wayl
MUCKATORIAL
Thig issue we present the grandest aggregation of impossible nonentities that have ever been thought of in the wildest
P. T.'s.  This is the Stone Age Number.
Through the courtesy of Mr. H. G. Wells, we have been
enabled to borrow his fur-famed Time Machine. Your Muck
reporters, at the peril of their life, have pentrated into ths
jungles of North Atlanttca ag it flourished in Esthonian Period.
No one can imagine the variety of weird things that our
intrepid explorers saw. And yet alcohol had not been invented
at this time. Remember, this wag the period referred to in History aa the Dark Ages.
For all that, it must have been a beautiful world to live in.
No universities (and consequently no exams), no money (and
therefore no debt), no technocracy, no tariffs, no prohibition, no
laws, no morals	
Somebody stop me before I go insane at the delightful
prospect. Oh yes! I almost forgot. No puns!
DAILY PAPERS ON SALE
BT BLIND
The noon edition of the Vancouver
tun wUl be on sale from the Terminal Shop whloh Is being conducted
under the auspices ot tiw Canadian
Nationd Instltue of the Blind. The
papers do not appear until 18:10.
No Member ol
ALMA
MAMMY
Is allowed to
BAWL
on
FEBRUARY 10
Hotel Vancouver
Ballroom
11CKETO $2M
BffOie
Jacoby
LTD.
423 HainUton Street
Maufacturing Jewellers
for
GiadtStt
Diamond
EnftgsiMnt togs
From
Watches - Signet Rings - Class
Pins - Frat Emblems • Fountain
Pens • Birthday Cards • Bridge
Prises
Birks
After That
Class Party,
Ball or Game
— ANYTIME —
Drop ln with your party at
Scott's for refreshments, and
make a good time better.
^CAFE
7« Granvflle Street
Totem Progressing
m Some Art
DeSnqaent
At the very moment you are read-
•a*Bj     "Peees*     ■jSSaW     ♦SSgapSSS    "*#/*♦?♦)'•'       ^eajSA      peW
thoroughly enjoying themsdves selecting proofs for those students who
have net turned In theirs to the
photosraphar. (No use using the
phone because nobody wUl answer).
Totem athletic pictures are now
on view at' the Accountant's office
from 3 to 4:10 p~n. Orders wUl be
taken there on depodt.
Most of the Information necessary
to the records has bean recdved, but
there are still some graduating stu*
dents who have not deemed it necessary to turn to Information Slips
to the Totem Office. If the volume
is to be published on time, every
senior Is alked to co-operate and
turn to these dips Immediately.
The color scheme for the end-
sheets and Insert sheets dividing tile
different sections win be changed
from black to green to a rich dark
from black green to a rich dark
brown and with a deep orange background, and the Inuian Idea has been
followed throughout. All the scenes
depicted wiU represent authentic
customs or scenes from B. C. Indian
Ufe.
Women hava been tar more satisfactory to the matter of having their
pictures taken than have the men.
The following is tin t|gt of students
who must stUl have their Images recorded tor the Totem:
James R. Atkinson, WUUam M.
Cameron, Dud. M. FltsPatrick, C. it.
Frederickson, Albert A. Hards, W.
H. W. Hardwick, Edward O. Hart,
GUbert P. Hogg, Maurice Kagnott,
Gladys X. Knight. Shiosabura Kor-
onaga, Jean H. Lang, 'Wdter M.
Lydiat.
Robert H. Mclnnes, Tom Niven,
Donald E. C. Stewart, James F. A.
Stuart, Vernon A. Wledrick, Chris.
Rlgby, J. Loggte, and WUUam Whimster.
For executive pictures: W.U.S. —
Mary Thompson, Pat Ryan; S.M.U.S.
--George Sinclair, Eric Parr; W.AJB.
-Margaret Powlett; A.M.U.S. — Sid
Evans, BUl Lynott; N.U.S, — Eileen
Davies, IStiid Rolston; Mudcd Sodety
—Jack Turvey; Awards Committee—
Dicx sanrtogton.
AU these people are asked to gat
to touch with Artona Studios, Sey.
8737, and make appointments within
the noxt few days.
CHANG
GU1Y, THI
-UB-HS-ntoaw m eaakak
Vt\W*wUleWS%
FAMOUS
aSm^mSJSigSm}^emSfS}gtw   ^rpWSBpS^frelclP^p
Is Finest of Sports
Say t Noted Alpinist
"The real profit of mountaineering
is the sense of exaltation one gains
from the hills," stated Mr. A. T.
Dalton, prominent Vancouver climber, to a lantern lecture given Wednesday noon to Aggie 100. "The
mountains are still relatively unknown," he continued. "Vancouver
as a whole is not mountain-conscious."
Illustrating his theme with pictures
taken during years of climbing, he
brought out graphlcaUy the thrills
and dangers ef what he considers
the finest sport on earth. His experiences include a narrow escape
In an avalanche from which he was
saved only by the rope linking him
to the rest of his party. Thrilling
also waa his description of a lightning storm at night among the peaks.
In his climbing career he has made
severd first ascents to the Jarvls
Inlet group, one of these being the
difficult "Sacred Peak," later named
Jemsw*   -*^PW*'™SSe
Mr. Ddton is
STOP PRESS
INK    SPOT    INVENTS    FIRE
SOMETHING TO PLAY WITH AT
LAST.
STOP SQUEEZE
(BO) - BABYLONIANS INVADE
EGYPT.    2  DEAD.    LflCAGUE  OF
NATIONS UNDECIDED.   MORE TO
FOLLOW.    LOVE AND KISSES.
STOP PRESS
(BY)  - STIRRING NEWS! CHINESE INVENT SOUP.   MANY IMPLICATED.
STOP OR I'LL SCREAM
(OO) - CLEOPATRA INVENTS
LIPSTICK. DYSS IN THE PROCESS.
NOW A PLATINUM BLONDE.
ROME GOES OFF GOLD STANDARD.   SPGR.
STOP OO
(BP)  - CHANK GUBY FLYING
TO CHINA VIA VIA APPIA.
STOP WHOA
(BP) - HARSOMETHING INVENTS SPINNING JENNY. ALSO
GAME OF HERE WE GO ROUND
THE CRYPTONOZOA BUSH OR
BUSHES.    (OR IS IT BRUSH).
CEASE  THE MACHINE  NEWS
FLASH
GHENGIS GHENQHIS GENGIS
GENGHIS KAHN KHAN KAN INVENTS MAH MA MHA JONG
JHONG JONGH JONHG (WE'RE
SURE THE LAST ONE IS WRONG).
MUCK
(sam -
FLYING TO
HIKING.
NEWS FLASH
CHANG  SUEY  NOT
CHINA.     IS  HITCH
MUCK NEWS FLASH
(AHA) -FLOOD.   NOAH MOAH
NEWS, SAMOA TUESDAY.
OKOK KOTUBSERI*.!
Okok paused ln his stride. Carefully he scratched bis head, a thick
wooly hegd it was, with a low brow
that receded from his eyes so much
ss to make any terraced lawn weep
with envy.
Okok was bewUdered. He had
never torn a liana growing horizon-
taUy across a path before. At least,
not so tautiy as this one. Furthermore, JUst beyond tills liana waa a
deep hde in the ground, Okok did
not remember seeing that there the
day before. But then, what with his
favorite axe walking away mysteriously, it was suite lodcd to Imagine
that a hde was quite capable of
walking Info his path,
But Okok's mind could not keep
on on* thing for very long. Just now
his mind kept wandering back to his
lost axe-that terrible weapon, the
first of ill kind* that he had so laboriously chipped from flint.
He shambled on, tripped over the
liana, and fdl tote the hols. At last
his mind comprehended. Trapped!
An evU laugh rumbled forth, breaking the silence toto Uttle hits that
wandered among tbe (tills disconsolately, crying for thdr mother.
"Chank Quay has thee," cried the
voice to Persian, "and Chank Guey'
has thy axe as wdl. Now wttl I rule
the world, and rid this earth of aU
foreign devils, dandruff and crooners.
Eksor gdwt tintak!" By which he
meant to say, "The world must ha
made safe for Muchnocracy."
(To be continued)
CLASSICS AM) RELIGION
AT MEET
MUCK FLESH
(NO)-EGYPTIANS BUILD PYRAMID.    MUSTAFHA WRITES FAMOUS BOOK.   MORE TO FOLLOW.
FLESH
(YES) - MAHUCKMA KANDI
INVENTS SLOGAN. WORLD MUST
BE MADE SArfi FOR MUCKNOC-
RACQ MUCKNOCRAZY MUCKNOC-
RACY  MUCKRONCRACY  MAHOO.
NUCK FLEWS MASH
(UH) - SAFETY PIN INVENTED.
WORLD FAFE  FOR  MAHUCKMA
KANDI.
PEP CLUB
Pep clubbers are working frantically to preparation for their Gigantic Stupendous spectacle to be
presented from the stage of the auditorium. Tuesday noon, in honor of
the   visiting   Ellensburg   Basketball
Among the many treats promised
the studes will be Ole Olssn and his
Commodore boys. In addition there
is to be a surprise packet which the
boys rafuse to divulge.
Canada.   His address
pin* Club of Canada.   His
a member of the AJ-was sne^wortd by tiw V.C.U.
ReUglon featured the regular meeting of the Classics Club hdd at the
home of Mr. A. Ppole, on Wednesday. Two papers were given: the
first, by Max Humphrey, dealing with
Greek Mystery Rdigians, and tiw
second, by Jamas Stobie, treating
Roman Religion and Roman Public
life.
Mr. Humphrey traced Greek Re-
Uglon from its first beginnings from
powers ascribed to nature, through
Its various developments of ritud
and cults, to its gradud extinction.
He divided his topic toto three sections, Chaos, Mystery, and Religious
Philosophy. The first dlvidon dedt
chiefly with tiw arising of order
from chaos. The second part described the systemidng of the newly-k
arisen order, and tha powers given
by the Greeks to thdr Gods, these
Deities were superior to men only to
ability-
tbe third section told of the birth
of a new spirit: a scepticism which
was to result to the failure of th*
Olympian Religion. There were two
distinct kinds of Mystery Religions,
dvic and secret. The civic mysteries
included almost the whole population in thdr membership, but th*
secret cults had set rituals and high
barriers of qualifications.
Mr. Stoble's paper dedt with the
place of Roman Religion to pubUc
and private Ufa. Tracing tiw origin
of tiw Roman gods from their various beginnings, he went on to describe and name some of the deities
such as Jupiter, Mars and Quir-
tous, who ware the three most important powers. After the close ot
the RapubUc new religions and gods
appeared.
in early times, tiie king of Rom*
wa* the head of religion and the Intermediary between the gods and
the people. He was the chief expounder of divine law, controlling
through thia power aU cults and rituals. To break a religious law had
only one punishment in ancient
Rome, death. But later to the growth
of the city the penalty was changed
to excommunication. The king, who
was Pontifex Maxlmus, held the tola
right of taking auspices. When the
Kings were driven out of Rome,
however, the office of pontifex max-
imus was given to an Important citizen. Roman ReUglon, on the whole,
was practical, and hence cold. Because of this it was replaced by tbe
later orgyistic cults.
After pondering over Latin crossword puulea, the members enjoyed
refreshments, and the meeting adjourned with a vote of thanks to the
host and hostess for the evening.
Bed Cross Shew - Alf the Needy
Obserk Obserk
Many examples—but not too many
—of the artistic talent of the Stone
Ag* may have come down to this
sophisticated world. We are inclined
to judge these by our own standards,
with the result that many people
are moved to Inane laughter by th*
painstaking attempts of our forefathers to express th* mysticd
thoughts that floated around their
brains Uke Varsity students around
a pUe of Ubysseys ... All right, If
you choose to fed insulted, go and
read Class and Club, or dt on one
oi tiw Stone Bests, or go skating on
the LUy Pond,   See if I car*.
Mow that that's settled, let us continue with our lofty and soul-stirring
observations.
Our speold Muok reporter climbed
into tiw Time Machine. Two days
later hs cams back with a manuscript! litis somewhat baffled roe,
until I learned that he had transported himself into the future. Pigging among soma ruins, he came
mm a pUe of Unlverdty newspapers.
He selected tiw foUowing poem:
"S** th* happy moron,
He doesn't give ad...
I wish I were a moron,
Good gracious, perhaps I ami
Now compare this yrith the foUowing genuine Stone Age lyric.
"Now this is the song of tiw caveman Vek
Who beat his wife just to bring him
luck:
'With my dub upon my shoulder,
I go chasing dinosaurs.
I crown them with a boulder,
After chasing them for hours.
And when my whiskers I have
laved,
In dinosaurtoe stow,
I give my wife (if watt behaved),
A half picked bone to chew."
Observe the limpid, Uquld, limping
style of the above. Note tiie staiplid-
ty of the language. Compare It with
the harsh consonants of tiw first poem.
In modern poetics, we express beautiful thoughts ln crude language,
whereas in the Stone Ag*, beautiful
language Is used to express—wdl,
anyway . ..
Note the rhythm.   I can't find
but it's probably there.
PLASTICINE AGE
It has come to our attention that
one of the highest arts of modern
times, that of punning, was cradled
in the Stone Age. The genius who
always signed himself Ping de Pong
(cyrius De serepansw) hap left us
some fragmentary gems of subllmi-
cd thought.   Par example:
"I felt saurian only dubbed her."
"I jud cant figure out what makes
Dinosaur."
"W* had acacia booze."
"Mammothosaur."
'fossa love Mike."
Soma uncompleted puns are as follows:
"Stegosaurus ke ... yip."
"Yclept doser to th* lo .. ritifaet."
It,
CORRESPONDENCE
Editor, Muok Page,
Sir and Editor:
I hav* found a scarf. It Is <$uite
a good scarf as scarfs go, If they do
go. On* peculiarity of this scarf Is
its colour. It Is a vary funny odour.
One night as I was waiting along
the MaU I saw it an the ddewalk.
As it Is a good scarf I am sura the
owner must miss it. The add scarf
is ef Paisley and is a kind of red
colour. Owner can hava same by
agplyiog to Mr. Cyrius 'Bearcat' de
to th* Pub.
Yours truly,
CYRIUS DE S.
Dr. Sage—This equal sign means
marriage. Just another joke of gen-
edogy.
Dr. Sedgewick — If Falstaff was
stabbed, lt was in the rear facade,
Jim Barddey—Let's cuddle up.
—Betty Marlatt—I don't see how that
woman can look placid with her feet
in a mustard bath.
Archie Thompson—Is your name Vivian Lexiar?
Vivian Lexiar—No, Mary Jones.
Tea Dance
At The
Maybelle Studios
We are giving U. Tea Dances
every second Saturday, starting
Saturday, Feb. 11
3-7 pjn.
Everybody wfll be there
Admission 99c
Ell. 1SMR
Welti,
(Orchestra
4441-lfch W.
od Tango
m Page Four
-    T^J—     —
THE UBYSSEY
Friday, February 3,1933
Sid Swift, Commerce '34> Places
First ln Cross-Country Classic
From Field Of Thirty Starters
Arts 34 Get Two Points Toward the Cover-1
nor's Cup •-— Northcott Second, Sinclair
Third — Commerce Entries Strong —
Three in First Ten
START
Sidney Swift, of Commerce 34, on Wednesday established
himself as the ace of U.B.C. distance runners by winning the
classic cross country race from a large field of 28 starters. Swift,
who runs with his head as well as with his legs, displayed uncanny judgment by catching Northcott, last year's winner, just
at the finishing line, clocking 19.53.3-5. This marks his second
triumph of the current season, since he also captured the Arts
30 road race. Phil Northcott ran a steady race to shade Oeorge
Sinclair, veteran Science runner, for second position.
John Smith, Sdence '33, placed
fourth, passing George Allen with a
powerful spurt fifty yards from homo.
Dave Pugh, rugby player and Commerce entry, was a threat throughout
the race, but had to be content with
fifth place at the finish. He was followed dosely by Herb Barclay, while
John Grubbe and Hugh Hamerdey
staged a merry battl* before finishing
in tiw order named. Ward of Anglican CoUege cam* to tenth, to cop
tiw last offlcid place. Alfie AUen,
a favorite, wu unable to compete,
because of illness.
Commerce Wins On Points
The class of Commerce, organised
athletlcaUy for th* first time on the
campus, placed three men to the
first ten, and thanks to Swift and
Pugh, Comm. '34, notched tiw greatest number of points, with IS. As
they do not as yet constitute a faculty, these points wtil go to Arts '34,
giving them 19 all told, and two
markers towards the Governor's
Cup. Sdence '33, represented by
John Smith and George AUen, came
second with 13 points, and were
awarded one digit towards the Governor's sUverware.
Race Closely Contested
The runners got off to bunched
start, and trotted, a soUd phalanx of
human flesh, for about 300 yards before stringing out. Smith was leading at the half-mUe point, closely
foUowed by Swift, Sinclair, Grubbe,
Dobson, AUen, Hamerdey, Addison
and Pugh in that order. Sinclair
then challenged, finally taking the
lead as the runners plunged into the
woods. When thoy emerged, Northcott, distinguishable by his crimson
sweater, was seen to head the little
group of leaders, still stubbornly
bunched.
Horn* Stretch Thrilling
Streaming down past the Soccef
field, the runners began to open up,
Pugh taking the lead, but he was
soon forced to relinquish lt to Sln-
ddr. At that point It looked Uke
anybody's race, with Sinclair, Smith,
Swift, Pugh and Northcott fighting
for the advantage. Diminutive Phil
Norhtcott finaUy grasped a dender
lead, but victory was not for him
that day, for Swift came on to an ir-
redstable drive to the tape, winning
by a scant two yards.
Enthusiastic Crowd
Lining both dde-walks from the
Sdence buUdlng to the Administration, duttertog up the bus depot,
and over-running the roof of the
Science buUdlng, a crowd of dudents
tstimated to the hundreds, voiced
thunderous approval of the stirring
finish. In a brilliant, setting of snow
and sunshine, the race was unquestionably one of the mod successful
staged since Its Inception.
Officials of the meet were Doctor
Davidson, Professors Logan and
LlghthaU, who were assisted by Bobbie Gaul, Jim MitcheU and Max
Stewart The Track Club were re-
sponrible for ell of tbe preparations
to connection with th* event.
Th* foUowing runners finished to
th* first ton:
1. Swlft-Comm. 34.
3. Northcott-Sc. 'SS.
3. Sincldr-Sc. '34.
4. Smith-Sc. 'S3.
5. G. AUen-Sc. '33.
6. Pugh—Comm. '34.
7. Barclay-Arts '34.
8. Grubbe-Arts '38.
9. Hamerdey-Sc. '36.
10. Ward-A. T. C.
Also ran: Thaln, Harris, Addison,
Dobson, Brand, Stead, Wood, Bowen,
White, D. Johnson, G. Johnston, Lut-
treU, McTavish, Todd, Walker, Weld,
and Gray.
"Chansons  Du  Bon  Vleux  Temps."
SKIING
This Week-end?
We have a number of
Skiis and Skiing Apparel
which we are offering at
bargain prices. Come in
and look them over.
George Sparling
SPORTING GOODS
939 Granville St.
Vancouver
Swimming Club
Issues List For
Victoria Meet
In connection with the Klwanls
Sport Week, Varsity wUl meet the
Victoria Y at the Crystal Garden on
Saturday.
Definitely to form the nucleus of
the Varsity team are Harry Andlson,
Ron Wilson. Bill SheUey, Rod Boll,
Wentworth McGinn and George
Mlnnls, Phyllis Boe, Marian Sangster,
Dot Rennie, Catherine McLeod and
Darrel Gomery.
Other members wishing to contest
for unfilled places in the SO and 100
free-style, back, breast and diving
and SO yard per man relay should
turn out to the find try-out at the
Crystal Pool Friday at 8 p.m. sharp.
Members wishing to make the trip
either in .swimming or non-swimming capacity wUl be bUleted it the
number does not exceed 28, as bU-
lets are provided for that number.
Fares for the trip will not exceed
|3:S0.
Those invited to make the trip,
leaving Vancouver Saturday forenoon, 10 o'clock, returning to Vancouver either Saturday midnight,
Sunday 3 p.m. or Sunday midnight
as desired. ]
Harry Andlson, BUl Shelly, Rod
BeU, George Minns, Wentworth McGinn, Norman Gustafson, BUl Mox-
on, Ivan Niven, Jack Milburn, Jack
Bourne, Ron Wilson, Bill Wain-
wrlght, Barney Dawe, Pat Hurley,
Bill Andrew, Ralph Davis, Art Irwin, Bud Johnson, Sholto Marlatt.
Dot Rennie, Marian Sangster,
Phyllis Boe, Isabelle Braldwood,
Helen Braldwood, Anna Fulton, Florence Jackson, Catherine McLeod, Ellen Raphael, Darrel Gomery, Yvonne
Brown, Mary Lane, Virginia Cummings, Dorothy Planche, Donna
Leltch, Doris Robinson, Gladys Frost,
Janet McGlashan.
-r*r
J>'<  »
Sport Slants
By TED WILKINSON
Well, Wednesday's marathon ran
true to form with Swift showing a
briUiant spurt to romp home fird for
Arts '34. Alfie AUen, one of the
favorites, and one of the best middle-
distance runners Vardty has put out
in the lad couple of years, did not
run. Alfie was dek to bed Tuesday
so he figured the long grind would be
too mueh for him. Maybe he was
resting up for the Arts '30 road race.
Speaking of the Arts '20 road race,
It looks like lt Is the event which wUl
dedde th* winner of the Governor's
cup.
Interclass basketbaU and soccer are
not over yet, but at present, Science
'38 and Arts '34 are leading with two
points each.
Gordie Stead, versatile Commerce
athletic leader, couldn't finish fast
enough to suit himself. Gordie was
In a big hurry to find out If any
Commerce man placed.
The badminton team have not had
much success this season. There ar*
nine teams to the league and Varsity's entry rates rixth. The addition
of OUver Lacey, Vancouver Club
champ, would probably hdp them a
good dad to thdr quert for th*
championship.
It looks Ilk* Vanity has a .championship footbaU team In the making.
Lad year's Senior City Gridders were
a real threat during the whole season,
and If they hadn't had a bad start,
they might have won the league. Dr.
Burke Is highly pleased with three
newcomers, Begg, Mortimer and
Radar, and with aU lad year's stalwarts turning out figures he should
be able to build up a strong team to
ftil the shoes ot next year's absentees
from th* Big Four Squad.
Strat Leggat, .member of the McKechnie Cup team, is going around
with a black eye and a worried look.
'The black eye is the result of a Sdence and Arts snow fight. The worried look Is the result of the class
draw. Strat doesn't know the girl,
but he's doing an awful lot of thlnk-
|lng.
Ellensburg Normal Basket Team
To Play Varsity Tuesday
Crack Outfit From Washington to be Seen in
Action in U, B. C. Gym Next Week—Won
Two Championships Last Year
\
«_*_«M__«-----M_l--M«_*-_--___«M-a_>M-M___a-__-__»
A great stir Is being caused on the<VThls ambi-dextrous lad is plenty hard
WOMEN'S INTER-CLASS
BASKETBALL
The Arts '33 women's inter-class
basketball team proved too strong for
the Arts '34 squad, when they fought
their way to a 22-7 victory lad Wednesday afternoon. In the first half,
the '34 girls failed to score, whUe Arts
'33 corralled 10 baskets, the honours
faUlng to Phyllis Boe and Ruth Witbeck.
The second half saw a much closer
battle with Arts '33 scoring 10 points
and '34, 7 points. On a technical foul
for not reporting to the referee,
Betty Black, Arts '34, scored 1 point.
For the '33 girls Ruth Witbeck scored
7 of the 10 points while Betty Black
did all the scoring for the '34 squad.
The  struggle  ended  with  the  score
122-7 for the women of '33.
)   Teams:
Arts '33-R. Witbeck (11), P. P. Boe
! (10), B. Sutton, F. Quail, J. Camp-
j bell, H. Ferguson (1), F. Armstrong.
i   Arts  34-B, Black (7), M. HaU, P.
McMartin,  F.  Anderson,  B. Rogers.
campus regarding next Tuesday
night's epic basketbaU game, featuring Varsity's Senior A crew and the
crack Ellensburg Normal Quintette.
Those "in the know" realize that
they will be afforded the chance of
seeing one of the best games to be
dished up in Vancouver this year. For
the benefit of the uninformed students, the foUowing information will
prove enlightening.
3rd Bed Team
I The Ellensburg team ranks as the
third strongest aggregation in the
State of Washington, and plays a
brand of ball surpassed by only the
Washington Huskies and Washington
State teams.
Last year these boys played their
way to two state championships, and
are headed strongly along the same
road this year. After winning the
Normal Championship, the team
signed on in the Commercial league,
and playing against some of the bed
teams on the coast they emerged victors of the North-West Commercial
League.
Same Team Back
This year five members of this outstanding squad are once more back In
uniform, and with the same coach
and an excellent second string they
are making things hum in no uncertain manner.
Their coach, Leo Nicholson, was All
Coast Conference guard for Washington Huskies a few years ago, and is
to check.
Case, who holds the other forward
berth, Is an excellent shot and good
on rebounds. He is a splendid team
player, and can be counted on to click
at aU times.
Haney, the centre, is a six-foot five-
Inch human dynamo. He usually
plays "in the hole," and has a deadly
one-handed shot, which helped him
to amass 6 points against U.B.C. A
special feature of Haney's play is his
consistent skill at snaring rebounds.
Johnny Fuller, playing at left guard,
is plenty smooth. He is good on rebounds and an all-round baU-handler.
Is He Tough!
Bailey, right guard, is the captain of
the team, and the play-maker. He
plays at full speed the whole time,
and checks so hard he reminds hla
opponents of a stone wdl.
The second string will probably be
composed of Sills, HaU, Hedley and
Mercer, all of whom are pot-shots and
heady players.
Vardty Has Good Chance
With this oppodtion to face, Varsity wiU have their hands fuU, but
are looking forward to take the game.
They have learned a lot since the lad
game, and with Pi Campbell on the
floor to help them they may be conceded an even chance of victory.
The Blue and Gold team have been
training  hard  for  this  event,   and
have entailed considerable expense to
bring the team up from Washington.
one of the best mentors on the Coast. jgtudent tickets are on gaie for 35c
His system is to keep track of every- ,and W)C) and may be obtained from
Senior "A" Basketballers
Win Third Straight Game
Arts Win Monday
In Hockey Brawl
Against Science
Artsmen pucksters repeated their
triumph ot the Rotary Carnival Relay when they defeated a fighting
team of Sciencemen three goals to
one to a rough-and-tumble encounter Monday night.
Sciencemen drew first blood early
ln the first period when a concerted
rush of the redshirts eluded the defense and fooled Andrews, the Arts
godle. Murray Little, playing for
Arts, soon evened Up the score when
he and Ramsden went down the ice
to elude WUUs with a low shot.
From this point on the game grew
fast and furious, with Arts having
the majority of play, but having
plenty of trouble from the attacks
of Ernie CarsweU, Al Kirby and Don
Matthews. Arts on the other hand,
had a greater share of the members
of the regular Intermediate team to
B1U Fowler and Chuck Symonds, defense,, and Cece Ramsden, Harry
Horsman, and Gordy Livingstone, on
the forward Une.
Arts seemed to get under way with
a wUl as the lad period drew to a
close and Gordy Livingstone ran to
two quick goals to make the score
three to one for Arts. This closed
the scoring and Arts were pressing
around the Sdence god as the final
whistle went.
BUl Sharon consented to act aa
referee and managed to please every-,
body by not handing out a single
pendty, dthough there was plenty
of good-natured checking which
could hardly pass as legd to a regular league encounter.
The boys state that this game Is
not find, however, and another encounter to the series wUl be played
next Monday night.
Senior B Squad
Stronger By Two
The Senior 'B' basketbaU outfit are
making a concentrated effort to win
major honors In their league this year
If they ever were.. The team now
occupies first place to their divldon
of the V. de D. League. A strong
array of players has been considerably strengthened by the addition of
two new men.
Doug. Mclntyre, who has been performing brilliantly to the guard podtion on Senior 'A' squads for tiw lad
severd years, will help the boys
along for the rest of the season.
Fred Bolton, who waa playing a
good brand of baU on the Squad lad
year, has also been added to tiw
ranks.
These new players added to the first
class team they have already make
the Vardty Squad a powerful threat
to dl contenders for the title. Coach
Randy Turvo has high hopes for his
outfit, and the players are ready to
fight hard to retain thdr top notch
podtion.
Defeat V. A. C. 45-17
In Fast Scoring
Game
Eyery Man on Varsity
Team Scores; High
Man it Mathison
The Vardty bounce and dribble
quintette smashed away to their third
straight win Wednesday night, at
New Westminster, taking tiw V.A.C.
for a 47-15 hay ride.
With the exception of the fird few
minutes of play the Clubbers took it
on the chin, and throughout the whole
game the result was never to doubt
U.B.C. played a bang-up game, with
plenty of passing, shotlng and teamwork, and half-time gave the Blue
and Gold a 20-9 margin. In this gam*
every man on the team scored.
Rann Mathison, speedy Vardty forward, carried off tiie honours of the
evening, scoring 14 of the 47 points
despite the fact that he had plenty of
rests on the bench, Rann is certainly
developing toto an effective scoring
ace, and can be counted on to take
advantage of every opening, his one-
hand shot oelng, particularly effective. Pi CampbeU, wu also ln there
playing a really great gam* as usual,
as did peppy diminutive Jimmy
Bardsley.
Sparlings who also won Wednesday
night are leading the league, with
Vardty second, four points behind,
and th* Province Squad third. With
five games to go, Vanity's chances of
snaring a place to the playoffs looks
reasonable.
First half got off to a fad start with
Ken Wright taking the flrd score
for Varsity. V.A.C. quickly retaliated
to tie the score again. FoUowing thia
Osborne started a rally with three
neat long shots to give the U.B.C. boys
a good lead-off. Rann then replaced
Nicholson and Wright went to centre
and Vardty carried the pace from
then on tiU the end of the half.
The second half started off with
Vardty playing aU over V.A.C.
Mathison was also in there again
taking away ten more points to boost
the score. Mansfield replaced Bardsley and to the great thrlU of team
mates made his first score of the
season with a pretty shot from tiw
side. Wright went to forward and
CampbeU went to centre.
The game finished off with the
score at 47-15.
Vardty—CampbeU 7, Osborne 7,
Nicholson 3, Barddey 8, Ken Wright
6, Mathison 14, Mansfield 2-47.
V.A.C.-F. HaU 4, Carmlchael 2,
Clark, Neecome and Chadat, Bar-
berrle 4, Young 5—IS.
BOAT CLUB
Net Pratt announces that crews
and times for turnouts will be posted
on Quad Notice Boards.
Racquet  Men  Down
loco 10-6
thing every player does while In the any of ^ piayers.   A good crowd is
game.    He can tell one how many •    ^   ted g0 buy your tickets early.
shots each player has taken and how |  .	
many he made. Apart from this statistical Information, the coach has a
most Intricate and varied system of
practicing which sure gets results.
Five Letter Men
And now a word about the first
string squad. All five are letter men
from last year, and will be remembered by the fans who saw them play
here a year ago.
Sutphln, left forward, is one of the
Varsity's C Badminton team started
the second term off with a bang when
it downed loco at the Varsity gym
on Monday by a score of 10-6. Things
stood all square at the end of the
mixed and men's doubles but the
U.B.C. girls played bang-up badmln-
best ln Washington. This man was ton and ran the match out with four
the main reason for the downfall of straight wins. In spite of a total
the U.B.C. team when the two teams absence of spoons and knives supper
played at Ellensburg; and has a one- was served after which the locos were
hand shot envied even by Ken Wright forced to take another beating to the
SR. AND INTERMEDIATE
BASKET TEAMS LOSE
Both the Women's BasketbaU teams
were handed defeats on Friday night
at the Vardty Gym.
In the first game the Intermediates
lost to the No Trumps 16-22. Play
ln the flrat half favored the Co-eds
and at half time were leading 11-4.
After the rest period the Vardty
squad lod its pep and allowed the
No Trumps to run up a string of
baskets. Of the students Margaret
HaU played a very good game.
Team: A. Zuback (6), M. HaU (4),
M. Lang (3), V. Mellish (2), B. Black,
E. Parks.
The Senior team came out on the
short end of a 23-18 score In a game
against Normal Grads.
The teams were evenly matched,
for most of the game, but towards the
end the teachers started on a scoring
splunge to leave the Co-eds behind,
after leading at half-time 13-0. Vardty were playing without one of their
best forwards, Kay Bourne.
Team: J. Thomas (6), H. Joost (S),
D. Hudson (3), G. Munton (1), A.
Munton (1), A. Harper (2).
LOST-A black and green Sheaffars
fountain pen. Finder PLEASE return to the bookstore or communicate with Irene Wallace via Arts
Letter Rack.
snowstorm on their way home.
Team—Marge Manson, Pat Lyon,
Eileen Gleed, MoUle Harming, Jerry
Clayton, George Weld, Rdph Moore,
B1U Tremalne.
"Chansons Du  Bon Vleux  Temps."
MILD
TO THE LAST
PUFF-LET'S SEE
g) YES-IT STARTS
OFF WELL*"
NICE FLAVOUR
TOO.
! SMOKES COOL AND
SMOOTH-RIGHT
.THROUGH"
[SORRY I DIDNTTAKE
JO THIS BRAND BEFORE
MILD
TO THE LAST PUFF
that's so/
10/brl0c-20/or 20c
25/or 25c
Smoke
SSHSKs,'
Buckingham
—and Smile

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