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The Ubyssey Oct 1, 1935

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Issued Twice Weekly by the Students9 Publications Board of The University of British Columbia
VOL. XVIII.
VANCOUVER, B. C, TUESDAY, OCTOBER 1, 1935
No. 2
Governors Appoint U.B.C.
Representative  To McGill
At a regular meeting on Monday night in the Administration Building on the Campus, University Board of Governors
discussed a number of important matters.
(1) The Board approved English 2 and Philosophy 9 as
the two courses to be given at the University as extra-sessional
classes.
(2) Accepted the gift of $200 from the Summer Session
Students' Association, to be used for the purchase of library
books for the use of students taking directed reading courses.
(3) Appointed Dr. J. D. MacLean, M.D.,C.M.,L.L.D. as
U.B.C. representative at the installation of Arthur E. Morgan,
M.A. as principal and vice-chancellor of McGill University on
October 5.
(4) Discussed the matter of limitation in certain classes at
the University, owing to the fact that Second Year Applied Science and First Year Nursing Classes have exceeded previous
set limits.
Total registration for the 1935-36 sessions as announced following the meeting is 1848, up to September 30.
The Board was unable to proceed with the discussion of the
proposed extension of noon recess from one hour to an hour
and a half, .and with the appintment of an athletic director, because no definite information has been forwarded to the Board
from Students' Council.
A special meeting of the Board will be held on Friday night
to discuss estimates for the ensuing year.
Japan Students
Conference At
Reed College
Through tho rfforts of the Japanese
Students' Club and the financial assistance of the Jripan Society of Vancouver, two ttudcnts of this University officially represented the University of British Columbia at the Second Japan-American Students' Conference held July 29 to August 4 at
Reed College, Portland, Oregon.
At this gathering a picked delegation of 46 students from Japan, 79
American and 6 Canadian students
discussed varions problems of the Pacific. The round table discussions
were divided into five commissions
dealing with international, political,
religious, philosophical, cultural and
educational problems.
Five lectures were given on the
first commission:
"Japanese-American Trade Relations," Dr. V. P. Morris, professor of
economics, University of Oregon.
"The Japanese-American Naval
Problem," Dr. Linden A. Mander, professor of political science, University
of Washington.
"Japan's Mission in the Far East,"
Dr. Yamato Ichihashi, professor of
Japanese History and Government,
Stanford University.
"The Place ot America and Japan
in the Pacific" Professor Kojiro Sug-
imori, Waseda University.
"Possibilities cf Improving Amer-
can-Japanese Relations," Dr. K. S.
Latourette, professor Oriental History,
Yale University,
George Hori, head of the Canadian
Delegation, led a discussion of the
Political group on "The Second Generation Question in United States and
Canada."
Lionel Clarke, a student in Economics of the U.B.C, read a paper entiled "A Trade War Between Japan
and Canada?", to the Commission on
Economical problems.
At the final Assembly, leaders of
the various commissions presented
brief summaries.
The notes taken at the various commissions together with the addresses
and lectures delivered at the conference are to be published in the report of the second Japan-America
Student  Conference.
Thus, it was felt that the student
conference, in spite of its scholastic
nature, had accomplished something
towards amity and international
good-will by frank discussion and
mutual confidence.
FROSH!
The Students Council gives
notice to the Frosh that the
Frosh Reception takes place
October 10 instead of October
11, It will be in the Embassy
Ballroom, Davie Street, just
west of  Burrard.
Open Forum
Breaks In
New Talent
On Tuesday, October 8, at 7:30 p.m.
the first meeting of the Parliamentary Forum will be held in Arts 100.
All meetings of this organization
are open and are held every second
Tuesday evening.
The Forum is modelled on the Oxford Union, the most famous debating society in the world, a society
which trained, ir. their early years,
such men is Campbell-Bannerman
and Gladstone.
Tho procedure; of the U.B.C. Forum
is as follows: the two leaders for
the evening speak first, delivering
prepared speeches, one for each side
of the question. The meeting is then
open—anyone and everyone has their
chance.
Order is maintained, by the benign
but sometimes disciplinary "Father of
the Forum," Prof. J. Friend Day,
who occupies the chair at all meetings.
The function of the society is to
train would-be orators who have had
no experience, and to improve and
polish those who have already done
some public speaking.
One freshman, when asked whether he was going to join the forum,
said: "I have always wanted to learn
how to speak, but I've never done
any, and I'd be scared stiff to get
up before a lot of old hands in the
game.
At the beginning of every year, at
least 70 percent at the meetings have
never ascended the platform in their
lives. Many a youthful orator has
started the year by gathering up courage to mumbb a few words at each
forum meeting, and finished up that
same year by being able to deliver
an intelligent and interesting speech
with no trace cf nervousness whatsoever,
The men and women who show
special aptitude in debating represent
U.B.C. at various debates away from
the Campus, al! exepnses being paid
by the Alma M;>ter Society,
During 1934-35, two U.B.C. men
were sent to Seattle to debate U. of
Washington, and two more went on
a tour as far as Leland-Standford
University at Palo Alto, Calif.
This fall a U.B.C. debater is going
on a trans-Canada tour as far as
Montreal.
Coaching and advice is supplied by
Prof. J. Friend Day, who devotes
gratuitously a g"eat deal of time in
helping the Forum and its members.
The Forum is for both men and
women, and corts nothing to join. It
demands of its members in the way
of time, one evening, a Tuesday,
every two weeks. It offers inexperienced men and women a chance to
learn to speak in public.
Morley Heads
Revivified
Arts Men
An executive dedicated to the object of making the Artsmen's Undergrad one of the most active and efficient organizations on the campus,
was swept into office yesterday noon.
in a meeting deferred from last year.
With Alan P. Morley as president,
John George Hill as secretary, and
Ewart Hetherington as treasurer, the
new executive announces itself as
confident that it will be able to make
the Arts Ball ono of the biggest functions on ihe campus.
Nominees Cor the office of President were Morley and Hill, Morley
being elected by a wide margin. The
race for secretary was close, a recount being necessary. By virtue of
this second ballot, John George Hill,
nosed out Tom Vance, and secured
the office. Three men, Dave Lewis,
Ewart Hetherington, and Tom Vance,
were nominated for treasurer, Hetherington gaining the position.
Last year's innovation, the "pep
committee", was retained, its members to be appointed by the new executive.
It was announced that the Arts' Ball
would be held either on Oct. 30 or
on Nov. 1. The new president urged
all Artsmen to support this function.
Artsmen havo been asked to take
part in the "Open House" this year,
and the A.M.U.S. is expected to do
its share in th>.
"It is about time the Artsmen's
Undergrad. Society was hauled out
of the n.ora3s," Mr. Morley said, following his election. "It should work
toward the standard set by the Sciencemen in p'lot years."
Council Blows Smoke Rings,
Rejects "Honeymoon" Offer
PRESIDENT
Sedgewick, Dodie Brown. Billed For
Fan Dance At Frosh Smoker. Oct. 8
Alan Morley, ex-Campus Crab,
who yesterday crabbed himself into
the presidency of the Arts Men.
Remember This?
PEP, PYTHONS
AND FROSH
Two perspiring yell-kings attempted
at a pep meeting Friday noon to quiet
a bobbing sea of green, whipped into
a foamy rage by a torrent of soph
abuse, pourinj down from the rari-
fied atmosphere of the Auditorium
gallery.
A "Hail U.B.C." would be called,
and in response to the opening chords
of thc piano ,». loud outburst of "Mr.
Noah"  would  floor the song leader.
A "sky-rocket" would be miraculously   changed   into   a   bulging   "We
Million Cards
Study Tool
Of Great Value
Ry Dorwin Baird
The Depository Catalogue of the
Library of Congress, now being installed in our own Library, was offered to this University in 1915, but
we were then unable to afford the
■expense of hiinging the necessary
equipment hero. This fact was mentioned by John Ridington, Librarian,
when he told mc the interesting history of this reference catalogue.
Being more or less of a skeptic, I
just couldn't see what good four tons
of cards, describing books that were
halfway across the continent in
Washington, could be to this University. It took Mr. Ridington the
better part of an hour to convince
me that this f.ddition to our Library
was of almost inestimatable importance.
The Catalogue was established in
Washington more than thirty years
ago. Every book In the Library of
Congress Is represented by a card,
compiled by an expert. n A new, book
on Physics receives the attention of
a member of ths cataloging staff with
particular knowledge in Physics.
Now it is eosy to see that a great
many libraries all  over the country
are the Engineers." And then two could be sawd a lot of time and
floods of "Dirty old Frosh" and ! money if the/ could use duplicate
"Dirty old Soph" would meet in mid j cards for their new books.
The dear, lead days beyond recall!
This is the dunking of Arts '38—At
least Freshmen took baths then.
air.
Suddenly th-3 gallery was emptying
itself ai.d a lone snake appeared at
the Auditorium door and wound itself down the a'sles. Tho asbestos
curtain was quickly dropped and the
decapitated rerpent writhed in in-
inglorious death throes in the aisle.
By this simple act of heroism an
impending Frosh-Soph fracas was
nipped in the bud.
Quickly order was restored. And
the Auditorium purred with reverberations of "Kla-how-Ya's" and
"Here's to good old Beer."
Announcements were given out
concerning Initiation activities:
October 1, Tuesday noon, Cairn
Ceremony.
October 8, Frosh Smoker.
October 9, Post Depression Starvation Dance.
October 8, Vaisity vs. V.A.C. evening football match.
October 10, Frosh  Reception.
Owing to a change ln editorial policy, Class and Club notices
will be restricted to 6 lines in the future. Time and place of meeting
only will be accepted. To supplement the notices a series of short
articles on the history and purpose of each club is being printed. The
first appears on this page today. The series is being arranged by Jay
Gould, to whom clubs should apply for Inclusion.
NURSES
The Undergraduate Nurses' Association will meet at the Vancouver
General Hospital New Nurses Home,
Heather and 12th, Wednesday, October 2, at 7:30 p m. Will every member please be there.
SCHOLARSHIP AND
BURSARY HOLDERS
Winners of scholarships and bursaries are asked to call at the Registrar's office at crce for their scholarship cards.
L'ALLOUETTE,
All sophomores, juniors, and seniors
interested in joining a French Club
are requested to attend a meeting in
Arts 201 at 12:15 Friday. All former
members  please attend.
RADIO
Organization meeting of the Radio
Club takes place in Mech. Eng., room
109, Thursday noon.
HISTORICAL
There are several vacancies in the
Historicrl Society, for both Third and
Fourth year students who are Interested in History. Applications will
be received by the secretary, Miss
Lennie Price, in the Arts Letter Rack,
STUDENTS' LEAGUE
Application for membership in the
Stduent League of Canada may b«
made now to Una Bligh, Arts Letter
Rack. This nation-wide organization
of liberal minded students is open to
all those who subscribe to the Program.
LETTERS CLUB
The Letters Club will hold its first
meeting at tru home of Mrs. S. J.
Schofield, 1118 Arbutus street, on
Tuesday evening at 8 o'clock, not at
the home of Mrs. R. Reid as previous
announced.
Hereafter this column will appear on Page 3
To bring ,'t closer to home—when
this University Library gets a new
book they send the title and author
to Washington, and in seventy percent of the cas,?s the book has been
classified there. A copy of the card
is sent to U.B.C, and is placed in
our own card catalogue.
The saving that this effects in
thousands of Libraries mounts into
the thousands yearly, and, what is
more important, the classification
done in Washington is much more
efficient than that that would be
done in local cirtres.
The Librarian at «the Library of
Congress discovered about twenty
years ago that ir<any Students all over
the country wero travelling to Washington to consult the general catalogue there which contained all the
cards printed.
To save the tiouble and expense to
students it was decided to place duplicate catalogues all over the United
States. Thus anvone desiring to obtain a bibliography on a subject
could get it without journeying to
the Library of Congress. Forty-eight
of .these catalogues were placed
throughout thj country—usually in
University libraries.
Today sets of cards can be found
in eighteen cities outside of the United States. Such places as London,
Rome, Paris, Berlin and Tokyo being
chosen for ths honor.
In Canada, tnere are three Universities with duplicate catalogues.
They art McGill, Toronto, and U.B.C,
making this University Library the
most   useful   in  Western  Canada.
"We have every right to be proud
of the honor and responsibility conferred on us," said Mr. Rldington
"For it is a great responsibility. The
cost of the cabinets, which are up to
date and serviceable, was $4500, with
an additional expense of a dollar for
every  thousand  cards."
"The Board of Gowrnors has voted
us sufficient to install the cabinets
and place cards until March, 1936.
The latter wot-': is under the immediate supervision of Miss Mary Barton, who will have a student staff
helping her. A few thousand cards
are already placed. New ones are
arriving at the rate of about 50,000
yearly."
The Librarian then took me to see
the stacks of cases containing the
l,350,00d cards still to be placed. These
cards represent the very best books
in the English language, plus selected
works in all tongues.
Officials Debate
Biologic Urge
After the usu.i' orgy and dissipation in tho Kaf last niyii*. the Council stagcered to the'r loir, to meditate and p:v.y <>;i the pioblcms of
their Alma Mainmy.
Ralph Killooi ••p.-M .1 the meeting
with a motion that the President
kindly be appointed to pa3 around
some nutches, p!iz, and then spent
the remainder of the evening blowing perfect smoke rings, interspersed with deep and solemn platitudes,
The Frosh Reception, it was decreed, will be held at the Embassy
on October 19 from 9 to 1 pm., admission to be free for Frosh, and 50
cents for others.
In order to save the floor, the
Smoker will not be held in the Gym.
Plans include tiie usual clay pipes,
cider and wrestling. Male fan dancers are also contemplated. A team,
composed of Doc Sedgewich and Dodie Brown will be offered the engagement.
A minor sensation was created
when the secretary, Darrel Gomery,
read n letter from the Ford Motor
Co. requesting that they be allowed
to show two films in the Auditorium,
"Little Red Hiding Hood" and
"Honeymoon in a Ford V-8".
Gould:  "This sounds spicy."
Brynelsen: "It's fctdly BV.urclonal
in a way."
Gould:   "And  how!"
Killam: "Shouldn't we refer it to
the Pep Club?"
Gould: "Or the biology department?"
In the end die offer was rejected,
due to the unusually heavy program
for the coming season.
W.U.S. MEETING
SHINESJRIGHTIY
Many bright and shining faces were
welcomed to the University at the
W.U.S. meeting on Friday. These
beaming countenances were of course
the freshettes minus makeup.
After welcoming them, Ardy Beaumont, president, introduced the other
members of the executive: Honorary
President Miss Bollert, Vice President Betty White, Secretary Pauline
Patterson, and Treasurer Kay Scott,
President N.U.S. Ethel Rolston, President Phrateres Audrey Horwood,
and the presidents of the classes —
Kay Bourne, Madeleine Bowden and
Peggy Fox.
Following this introduction the
Frosh program was outlined as follows:
Sept. 29—Fireside Evening.
Oct. 1—Cairn Ceremony  (noon),
Oct. 2—Senior Freshette tea (gym.)
Oct. 8—Freshette supper, 6 p.m. in
Caf.
Oct. 9—Starvation Dance  (gym.).
Oct. 10—Froih Reception.
Speeches of welcome by Miss Bollert and Audrey Horwood brought the
meeting to a dose.
Student Succumbs
To Stress Of
Lectures
A third yev.' student at the University was ivmcved to his home by
his father shortly after noon Thursday, when it was reported to Provincial Folice Ida' he had been seen
acting   c;ueerly   around   the   campus.
Failing to leach the campus during the morning, the student arrived
at the office of the publications board
at 12:30. Members of the editorial
staff, following his departure, commented on the peculiarity in his conduct.
Later he visited the Endowment
Lands fireball, ai.d Provincial Police
were notified by firemen of his actions, It is believed that tru student,
whose name lu.s not been divulged, is
suffering from a nervous li.enkdown Page Two
THE    UBYSSEY
Tuesday, October 1, 1935
3Uj* Unjaarg
(Member C.I.P., P.I.P.A.)
Telephone: Point Grey 206
Issued twice weekly by the Students' Publication Board
of the Alma Mater Society of the University of British
Columbia.
Mall Subscriptions $2.00 per year
Campus Subscriptions $1.50 per Year
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF: John Cornish
News Manager: Zoe Browne Clayton
SENIOR EDITORS
Tuesday: Alan Morley    -    Friday: John Logan
Sports Editor: Kemp Edmonds
Associate Edlton: Donna Lucas, Dorwin Baird
Associate Sports Edrtor: Milton Taylor
Assistant Editors: Norman DePoe, Madge Neill, Pauline
Patterson, John Dauphinee
Exchange Editor: Shinobu Higashi
Literary Editor: Reg Jessup
Columnists: Reg Jessup, Nancy Miles, B.A.
Circulation Manager: Bruce Gordon
REPORTORIAL STAFF
Bob King, Kay Scott, Dave Pettaplece, Ken Grant
Sports: Frank Turner, Byron Straight,. Dave Petaplece,
Howard Hume
the crackling
of thorns==
THE LAUGHTER OF FOOLS
IS AS THE CRACKLING OF THORNS
UNDER THE POT
Printed by Point Grey News-Gazette Ltd.
2182 West 42nd Avenue
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 1, 1935
KEEP THE CAMPUS CLEAN
Those who know the Pub. of old may consider it faintly ironic that a plea for tidiness
should issue from this office. For the place is
traditionally a shambles, with the walls one
vast mural of vulgar art and the floor a tangled
mass of paper, crockery and, from all accounts
the bodies of distraught editors.
But today this precinct's walls are blank
and unsullied as a freshman's mind. Let the
unbeliever see for himself. Unfortunately the
rest of the campus has not evidenced a similar revolution.
We were recently told that during a motor
trip of twelve thousand miles over America as
much litter was not discernable on the whole
journey as may be seen on a walk between the
Auditorium and the Library.
The professor who remarked this was, you
will think, a trifle inaccurate But you get his
point.
CUT IT SHORT
As will be noted elsewhere in this issue,
Class and Club notices are being cut down.
There is more than one reason for this.
First, we are trying to improve the UBYSSEY. Long, rambling, pqintless notices are
NOT news. We don't want them.
Reports of meetings with the same qualities will not be received, for the same reason. If you have news of your club, bring it
in. If it is propaganda, shove it in the waste-
basket.
Also, bring it in typewritten, according to
the instructions on the Pub. notice board. We
are a newspaper (such as we are), not a public stenographer.
In future all such sloppy, handwritten copy
goes into our wastebastket. Save us the
trouble of putting it there.
Single-spaced, wrong-way-of-the-paper, typ-
ed-on-both-sides copy goes there too.
A senior editor's life is too short to spend
it deciphering hyroglyphics and chasing up
charitable re-write artists to assist illiterate
contributors.
Cut it short!
FRAT FUNCTIONS
A wise Council last year passed an ordinance requiring all fraternities and sororities
to have the dates of their functions ratified by
the Students' Council before they are definitely
fixed.
This year's Council is going to carry out the
provisions of that ordinance.
It is high time that it was done.
More than one major Varsity function has
been bled of attendance because an inconsiderate Frat selected a clashing date for a formal
or a cabaret. Last year's Arts-Aggie Ball was
a case in point.
FROM THE DUNGEONS
Happy faces decorate our Kaf.
Mr. Underhill overflows with the milk of
human kindness.
Dixie and Betty smile all over their front
elevations.
Even the patrons look pleased.
The secret of this sudden influx of sweetness
and light into our auditorium dungeon is—a
brand new electric dishwasher.
Thus do the benefits of modern science pervade our academic halls.
Cannot we soon get an electric Council?
Or an elecric Pub. staff?
Think of the increase in efficiency, cleanliness and the saving in bother.
WITH NO IVORY
Peter, I would say, Peter will do it All
summer it has been like that: Apes and Ivory.
And when the door was opened Peter had
come. Begin, I thought, only begin. Apes and
Ivory by   .... and Peter had gone. Nor is
Arthur Walrus any longer with us.   O arid
Muse, of thee I sing.
 0	
SOUNDING BRASS
This column is open to contributions from
all members of the University. Short poems especially, will be thankfully received, but longer
contributions (book-reviews, short essays, one-
act plays, etc.) are welcome to the whole space.
There will be offered a monthly prize of at
least one dollar for the best original poem submitted. For those who (having a nice understanding of the higher, values) could not possibly accept such a scurvy sum, a special Honourable Mention cut is being made. Address all
correspondence to the literary editor via the
pub. office, or Arts letter rack. (The editor's
decision must be regarded as final.)
 O	
FOR FRESHMEN
IN ENGLISH
"Ah, yes, Mr. Eliot. He seems to me to be
much concerened . . . ."
"Yes, quite."
For all thy other blessings, oh certainly;
but not this. When you read a belly-pun from
Shakspere give it the belly laughter it requires and don't be learned about the Elizabethan pit. Try to feel just What is happening to
the prizefighter in Hemingway's magnificent
story Fifty Grand and don't be too much concerned with the stunt plot or with Hemingway's part in the development of the modern
short story.
Again, try to feel the incredible delicacy of
some of the lines in Ezra Pound's The Return,
and don't read books about the "originality"
of his poetry. And thus with all your reading.
Not that you should work towards the same
responses as those given by anyone else, but
that you should make honest emotional interpretation the reason for your reading.
*    *   *    *
The subtle ramifications of such things as
literary importance, influences, new schools,
relative positions, etc., require a breadth that
comes of wide and intensive reading and a
breadth which, I believe, ("Do you now," said
Buck Mulligan) few undergraduates possesses,
and which unfortunately, professors seem to
expect in them.
Consequently at the end of four years students of English have acquired a sort of literary jargon of names and movements that the
very professors will be in a few years describing as "passe". For the students thc feeling is the important thing, and work done by
way of research should have as it motivation
the attainment of a more complete feeling. And
later, when the years have so done with you
that you will not or cannot feel in your reading, why then, then write an essay and call it,
say, The Pre-Raphaelite Revival.
•      O	
THE ABSOLUTION
These numbered
and unburied tallow-ends,
take them and
tomorrow .... I ... .
A silent wind
blows forever over me,
and only the sound
of a slow ocean.
There are the mountains,
and over them
eternal stars look down.
Nor is there anything
beyond the mountains.
"You are not alone ....
Look, there is the moon."
Book Display
By 'The Crab'
Low Reading
The first recreational book display
of the series announced by Miss
Smith, Reference Librarian, last
week, is assembled by Alan Morley.
"I have cho3en," states Mr. Morley,
"a selection which may be entitled
'NOT itcomnranded by the English
Department.'
"Ther,e books are what I like to
read, as distinguished from classics,
which one has to read.
"Some of the authors, such as jolly
old Mat Prior, were given severe
pains by their contemporaries who
are now classics while they are not.
Nevertheless, I prefer Mat to Dryden
—a sign of preverted taste, I suppose,"
"Also among the old timers let me
bring to your notice Tom Brown and
Ned Ward. They* were the original
muck-rakers, compared to whom
Lincoln Steffins was a mere mushroom.
"If you want to score off your pet
enemies, Junius will show you how
to do it with polished phrases and
annihilating pr< se.
"One last word. Please note the
'Lyric Forms from France.' These
dainty verselnts used to be a favorite
form of litera.y amusement among
the undergrads in the days when
Fairview was our home. A revival
of this custom would help out our
Literary Ed. immensely."
MORLEY'S CHOICE
English Gamer—in the volume on
display note Robert Peak's "Three to
One," a hot 17t.h Century adventure
story, I.-. 275; also "Sir Thomas Morgan," etc." 13th century battles reported in modern journalese.
Matthew Prior—he hated Dryden,
and wrote some of the catchiest lyrics
yet out.
Tom Brown—* very naughty wit
who got out of the hoosegow on the
strength of his rhymes. Not for
freshettes.
Ned Ward'i "endon Spy" — night
clubs and Picidilly in the 18th century.
Swijt, "A Modest Proposal, etc."—
great stuff if you have a strong
stomach.
Chesterfield';! Letters—cold blooded,
but oh! how wi.e. And how he talked
about women!
Paltock, "Peter Wilktns" — modern
"scientifiction" done in 1750. Flying
men and furry ladies.
Junius—scorching blue vitriol! Read
his letter to Grafton, p. 90, vol. 2.
Leaves Tim Buck and Ian McKenzie
in the shade.
Ingoldsby Ledf.ends—one long laugh.
Some of the worst rhymes and best
take-offs ever done. Ubyssey muck
page >s nothing to it.
Lady Mary W. Montagu—gossip de
luxe, with diplomatic trimmings. She
hated Pope.
Tom Wood—punning reduced to an
absurdity. See the Ballad of Sally
Brown, p. 249.
Collins, "Woman in White" — first
and best of the detective stories. The
oily Count Fosco will leave you
shivery, but not Cold.
Blackmore, "Lorna Doon"—Ah! Romance and the Girt Jan Rid!
Gordon's Poems—Gordon, the Australian, was the poet of the man
who loves a horse and a gun. Terrible in spots, never recommended by
an English department, but see "Last
Leap," p. 78; "From the Wreck," p.
126.
Peacock, "Crochet Castle"—lovely
stuff; highbrow sarcasm. He did not
love Woodsworth, Shelly or Coleridge, and said sj
Lyric Forms From France — light,
dainty and {.musing. The sort of
thing the Ubyssey should get from
contributors. It used to in the old
clays.
Marryat, "Mr. Midshipman Easy"—
horseplay and humor from Nelson's
day, in the British Navy.
Knox, "Essays in Satire" — most
amusing; Sherlock Holmes history,
Religion  on  the  pan,  literary  japes.
Newboldt, Poems—Sir Henry made
a splash at the U.B.C. once. Patriotic stuff with a swing.
Kipling, "Traf{ics and Discoveries"
—Kipling's soldiers translated into
Navy talk.
Brown, "I Commit to the Flames"—
Hell on Law::ence, Freud, and other
moderns. You have to give this boy
a hand.
We would just have to pay the B. C. Electric bill once a year. No elections, budgets,
bother or ballyhoo.
Let us pray the E. E. department to hurry
up and devise these needed improvements.
It would at least be a God-send to your
editors.
fP}t^
BEWARE !!!
Even Freshman "Organization" is
our, as far as Librarian John Ridington is concerned.
Henceforth all Freshmen mu|t doff
their little green bonnets when entering the sacred precincts of the Library.
"Professors 'uike off their hats
when they com.-' in," Mr. Ridington
observes. "What's good enough for
professors should be good enough for
freshmen."
by "Sherlock"
The Why and the Wherefore
Standing at thc head of Column
Five, Page Three of Friday's issue
was the same headline that stands
at the top of this column. And at
the bottom of Column Five, Page
Three of Friday's issue was a strict
promise that it would not appear
again.
Unfortunately the late Editors were
inconsiderate, and failed to think of
the future columnist of the Ubyssey,
whose efforts to decide on a title for
his column resulted in a complete
'impasse' until he happened to see
"The Early  Bird."
It was the half-buried worm that
caught this columnist's attention.
Very appropriate. That's the way
students at xne University usually
think—they get halfway, and then
the effort seems too great. Half an
idea is the best they ever do!
I don't expect you to agree with
every complete thought expressed in
this column during subsequent issues.
I hope you WON'T agree with every
complete thought that happens to be
expressed.
But I will consider my work a success if this column serves as the
basis for complete ideas. As the
'Early Bird,' I shall be completely
satisfied if I can just write enough
words to form a basis for argument
and serious consideration—if I can
just waken the student body so that
some little constructive thinking shall
evolve from tht morass of indolence
and laziness that will of necessity
invade the campus.
But I do hope the worm doesn't
turn!
*   *   •
Limited Accomodation
Here's the first idea . . .
When President Klinck on Tuesday declared that although the accommodation of the University is
only 1550, almost 1800 -students are
registered this vear, he skimmed leisurely, indifferently over a condition
that will certainly have to be remedied in a few short years.
Of course, we realize that so much
red-tape exists (.round the Campus
that President Klinck is literally unable to make .my definite statement
of policy without first submitting his
brain-waves to a multitude of higher authorities. But President Klinck
should have betn able to warn all
incoming freshmen and other newcomers that unless their examination
results showed them to be really
willing to woi'Ic, they would be automatically expelled from the University.
All men are not created equal, despite the fact that our democratic
system is based primarily on the fact
that they are—and it is unfair that
those students who have both the
mental and physical qualifications to
make a success of their University
career should be desperately hindered
by several hundred temporary visitors who serve no useful purpose, and
only provide ar unfortunate cluttering up of the Campus to the detriment of the eoliege as a whole.
Were such a limitation policy as I
suggest be introduced, based on merit alone, the sving to the Province of
British Columbia would amount to
many thousands of dollars annually.
Some students attend the University
and work hard without possessing the
necessary mental equipment to make
the grade.
It would be better to save their
families much wasted expenditures
and themselves much wasted time.
Some students attend the University
and refuse to work, making social
functions, sports and other extracurricular activities their whole interest. Such riudents do not deserve
any consideration from University
authorities.
But I'm afnud that if the limitation policy were strictly enforced, the
"Ubyssey" would be compelled to
suspend publication for an indefinite
period. Most of the staff, including
this writer, belong to the second
group oi' encumbrances — those who
"do not choose to study."
•   •   •
Publicity   Agent  Wanted
Here's the second idea . . . after the
fashion  of Walter Winchell . . .
FLASH! It is rumored that Phrateres, newly organized idealistic
women's organization on the University of B. C. campus, is looking for
a press agent.
Not satisfied with the amount of
publicity received from Vancouver
newspapers, this commentator understands that parents, relatives, or
friends of'some leader in the new
movement visited one of the leading
dailies with the complaint that photographs used in free publicity given
to Phrateres wn-e too small and insignificant.
Musk-melons and cauliflowers to
whoever it happened to be. Rumor
has it that tbe guilty party was
closely, oh! no closely, related to one
The
Dipsomaniac
A bottle a day keeps the Varsity gay
And fills up tho,«e moments of leisu-e;
Although I take Greek I get drunk
every week
And often betweentimes for measure.
When Im filled full of gin I can
make quite a din,
And consume a whole bottle with
zest:
For a bowl full of punch I would do
without lunch,
But it's old ry» that I love the best.
CHORUS:
I must have a bottle, 'cause I love
to pottle,
I'll finish a whole case of liquor , . .
Don't call me a freak 'cause I had
one last week;
Another won't damn me much
quicker.
The one that I've got'll just moisten
my throttle
But I am an iddict, why damn
I'm a  one bottle, two bottle,  three
bottle, four bottle, five bottle
Varsity   wan.
When people are gazing and my eyes
are glazing
It's then that 1 feel at my dryest.
The whole of a keg is just a stiff peg
That makes mo feel at my highest.
With a quart of old sack there is
naught that I lack
And I am as happy as Omar;
In a bootleggar'3 joint my throat I
anoint
And reach for a big stein of 'foamer.'
-L. H.
f     EXCHANGE     I
From the Idaho Argonaut comes
this luscious stomach teaser. Quoting
from memory:
Professor attempting to innoculate
some energy into a tired class,
sternly.
'Order, please.'
A tired voice from the rear of the
lecture room,
'Hot-beef sandwich.'
• •   •
The Manitoban, the first Canadian
paper to reach us, bourgeons forth
in a jealous green. Evidently they
are intent on welcoming the Frosh.
The front page is a masterpiece of
makeup covered with emest advice
from every organization head imaginable.
• •   •
This head caught our notice: Woman takes Course in Practical Gold-
Digging.' No, nothing unusual whatever. One co-ed had registered in
the department of Mining Engineering at the University of Idaho. The
article crowns the beauty of the
headline by describing her as being
"small, pretty and shy."
• *   *
The V/hitman College Pioneer has
a ticklish filler—and mind you, placed
under the Editorial Column. Here
it is,
"We hope medicine never gats to
the  stage   where   doctors   resort   to
cut-throat competition."
• •   •
And this, too:
"I can still hope, although that cute
frosh lassie wou'dn't give me a date
the first time I asked for one. Remember, Rome wasn't billed in a
day.
Light fare after a heavy repast.
• •   •
All Universities report new high
enrollments. We see that U.B.C. isn't
the only Uniwrsity that has become
'storky.'
• •   •
This morning an exchange paper
reached us addressed "Odyssey, Vancouver, B.C." Now we can aspire a
little higher. We've actually reached
the Greek-letter ranks. "Ulysses
Brynelsen,"   we  suppose?
Frosh Cairn Ceremony
noon All Frosh turn out.
of Vancouver's most virulent speakers.
*   •   •
Liquor Adds Pay
Here's the  third  idea . . .
Th-e "Ubyssey" needs advertising-
enough to put the paper on a paying
basis. Unfortunately, advertising rates
in the "Ubyssey" are relatively high,
when it's small circulation is taken
into consideration.
Just the same, some advertisers realize that the University houses a
specialized group of readers. And
because University authorities turn
thumbs down on liquor advertising
in the college paper, the student body
ac a whole is losing hundreds of dollars annually,
The honor system forbids students
to imbibe intoxicants at University
functions—but they imbibe intoxicants just the some. And, after all,
the amount of time students spend
at University functions is only a small
percentage of their average day, week
or month.
The local dailies all carry liquor advertising. The students cannot help
having their unblemished souls sullied by the contact with the evil element of society! There is no reason
why liquor advertising should not be
admitted to the "Ubyssey"—and it
would certain y pay! Tuesday, October 1, 1935
3
THE    UBYSSEY
Page Three
Do YOU Know?
WHO said she hoped the new
psychology peofessor was at least
young? . . . didn't you,  Betty?
WHY was Jack Bowen asking for
an Anglican Theological College calendar at the registrar's office? ... a
brand from the burning?
WHETHER the Frosh think "Follies Freshaires" isn't a very subtle
name for the resurrected Frosh revue?
WHO are th.» Freshmen who tried
to sit down at the Theta table?
WHO is the last year's sophomore
who failed so badly in his exams that
he went and got married?
WHERE does the huge profit go
from the shoe-shine stand? . . . the
microscope,  Watson.
WHY certain sophomores who hid
in their locker.s last year when the
fights were on, now choose to abuse
poor little Frosh who don't call them
'sir'?
WHETHER there is going to be a
Snake Parade? tnd whether council
could stop it if there wa3 one?
WHERE is the Canyessey?
GA L A   opening
DANCE     OCT.Isl
A Commutation
Or Denunciation of Anger
Against Freshmen
fN=FWVPP
«r ^ K-ML*an, ilJ. f KKI.+
23
IflMfMI
Pender at Burrard
Brethren: In righteous days there
was an ungodly discipline that, at the
beginning of October, such persons
as stood convicted of notorious sin,
being Freshmen, were put open penance, having their heads shaven and
annointed with sweet spirits of tar, and
punished in this term that their souls
might be safe in the next; and that
their brethren, admonished by their
example might be more afraid to offend.
Instead whereof, until the said discipline be restored again (which is
much to be desired), it is thought
good that at this time should be read
the general sentences of Council's
cursing against impenitent sinners,
gathered out of the Freshman's Bible,
and other places of scripture, and
that ye should answer to every sentence, Amen. To tha intent that, being admonished of the great indignation of Council against sinners, ye
may tho rather be moved to earnest
and true repentance, and may walk
the more warily in these dangerous
days.
Priest of Pep: Cursed is the man
who sitteth at a sorority table in the
cafeteria,
Frosh: Amen.
Priest: Cursed is the Freshman who
curseth an uppcrclassman.
Frosh: Amen.
Priest: Cursed is he that stealeth
his brother's locker, or his brother's
Freshette, or anything that is his
brother's.
Frosh:  Amen.
MUCKATORIAL
For the Freshmen, this is their first exposure to the weekend columns of gentle wit, which have become a tradition at the
University, speak, gentlemen, of the Muck page.
To the sophomores and upperclassmen we would say that
in giving you less Muck we are going to give you only the pot-
tiest poems. Need we say more?
The yarn with the "stinger in its tale" seems to be in
vogue at present . . . wa phoned "About Town" for the answer to the story about the Creeks and Crows in their last issue
. . . ask us the answer anytime. Here is one thaf'll keep you
guessing:
A rich Englishman went away to Cannes, leaving his butler with orders
to forward some important papers that were due in the mall in the morning
after he left, giving instructions as to identifying the envelope. He waited in
Cannes a wek aned and no papers came, so he wired the butler asking what
was wrong, The butler wired back that the papers were there—he could see
the envolope through the slot in the mail-box—but master had gone off with
th© key, and he couldn't open it. (You have to assume a butler too dumb to
waylay the mailman or get alocksmith). Master wired back that he was sending the key, and rush the papers. But the papers never got to Cannes. Why?
Yes, the key arrived, the master was still waiting at Cannes, the butler
did not die in the meantime. Price—25c per answer.
Priest: Cursed is he that perverteth
the judgment of the sttanger, the,
widow, or the Dean.
Frosh:  Amen.
Priest: Cursed is he that stealeth
his brother's chips, or anointeth them
with ketchup.
Frosh: Amen.
Priest: Cursocl is he that droppeth
polish upon an upperclassman's
stocking as he vipeth his shoes.
Frosh1 Amen.
Priest: Cursed are the thumb-sucking, the beardless, the knot-pated,
the hopeless, :ne spineless Frosh.
Frosh:  Amen. LIBRARY
Priest: The Messing of council and
of Alma Mammy go with you now     will all students who are Interested
and forever nioie. jn  library work see Miss Smith  in
Frosh:  Amen. the Seminar Room Thursday,  Octo
ber 3, 12 to 1?
TRANSPORTATION
WANTED FROM corner of 12th and
Granville, Dagmar Lieven, Arts Letter rack. Bay. 8107 Y.
WILL SUPPLY from any point along
Dunbar. Albert Healy, Arts Letter
rack.
Our Buyer
returned with
a selection of
hundreds of
patterns for
you to choose
from.
YARROWVALE SCOTCH TWEEDS
— outstanding vogue for Fall! Foremost in
popularity is Yarrowvale Scotch Tweed, aturdy
aa the briar, colorful aa tha heather— now
featured at Tip Top Tailors among a range of
tha choicest British woollens. You may make
an unrestricted choice at one price.  Mad* to
Class and Club   ]
P-E-P
The Pep Club will receive applications for membership up to October
25 via Students' Council Office Letter
Rack.
The purpose of this Club is to promote spirit on the campus. The only
qualifications required are a certain
amount of spirit, and tho ability to
do too darn much work.
What People
Are Saying
Whellams: I think I'm getting a
little bald.
G. G. Sedgwick: Born a Presbyterian, raised a Methodist, I am now a
confirmed and practicing pagan.
your individual measurements
with Tip Top Tailors workmanship, in the latest New
York and London Styles. We invite you to aelect your suiting
now while the range of patterns
ia complete.
UNBISTIICTiD CMOICI
Of IIITISM WOOUINS
TAIlOilO TO
YOUI MIASUH
^•*"""*\
srie
TRILQRin   G       BY       UniO
199 W. Hastings Street
crafts men
Sey. 3522
Peep9s Diary
Find me this year at Varsity of
British Columbia where at present
mightly engaged in eyeing University
gentlemen with vew to prospoctve
invitations to Fro.^h Reception. Have
heard from prominent senior that
there is one raod looking professor
on faculty. Suppose freshettes not
allowed to sen him. Mightily taken
with good looks of gentlemen members of the Students Council. Enquired of big sister whether men on
Council chosen for their looks or
brains. She just wouldn't answer . .
Ah, bitterness    . .
Feel sorry for freshmen who have
no big sisters. Offered to share mine
with one of them, there's enough for
two. He just blushed and tucked
his panties into his socks.
Am inclined to right deep happiness as News Editor of Ubyssey (College paper's extraordinary title)
thinks my viewj on fashions of campus ought to entertain great student
reading public of two thousand
(2000). Am aho to keep track of my
shopping expeditions. Shrill keep this
diary for purpose, and if peculiar
gentleman called Crab is kind will
have extracts from it in Tuesdays issues   (Unexpurgnted  extracts),
At present mightily perplexed regarding important question of clothing as had chosen purple as colour
for my fall clothes, and now am made
look ridiculous by having green hat
and finger nail", to wear according
to rules of initiation. Much struck
by hand knitted henna suit which I
saw on girl in ihe Caf (atrocious abbreviation for cafeteria). Has high
buttoned neck, and Clark Gable bsck.
She wears dark brown felt hat with
wide straight hnm, and brown suede
oxfords with it.   'Tis good.
Am going shopping to-morrow,
So to bed . . .
Elegy Written in
An Academic
Graveyard
(With the usual apologies)
At five-to-six a loudly clanging bell
Rings cut another lecture-day's brief
knell.
A thousand students climb aboard
the bus,
And leave the world to darkness and
to us.
Within the academic solitude
We sit, and mournfully indeed we
brood,
Deep in the darkest depths of dire
despond,
I and the froglrt of the Lily Pond.
Alas! thc auguat Governors in council
Have moved  to drain the pond, till
not an ouncc'U
Sadistic Sophs be able here to find
To lave a Freshman's ears, or cleanse
his mind.
The froglet speaks; his voice is full
of sorrow
Like to a man condemned who hangs
to-morrow.
"Oh, woe is :ml', he wails.   "This
place Is dying
Upon it.? feet.   Aw, nuts! I feel like
crying."
And cry he does' his sobbing swells
abroad
Across the lawns from Bus-stand to
the Quad!
And then to mc a tale he does unfold
Of what our campus was in days of
old.
Briefly his eye lights up:  "Why, I
remember
How round th!3 pond, the last days
of September,
Full joyously embattled students
clamoured
The while each other's pates they
lusty hammered.
"And how the great uproarious celebration
Concluded in a grand initiation,
And how for weeks thereafter Frosh
were proved
By heads short-shorn, or paint-work
unremoved.
"Now ev'n the Bonfire's gone.   So
sad am I
Truly I believe I would be glad to
die,
Depart this wretched sphere, yet
here's the joke:
A stone frog I, T cannot even croak."
I left him then, a lonely soul afloat
Upon the vast expanse of King John's
Moat.
Over my tear-dimmed eyes I jammed
my hat.
I spurned the bus, and walked to
Sasamat!
-J. N. Wilson.
Alleged Poem
It is not, no it lr not spring spring.
Steinishly we sing we we sing it is
not we sin?,
Some one suggested that a rhyme is
"string"—
Did you ever hoar of such a foolish
thing.
The thing wove tried so hard to say
Is that it is not spring today.
No indeed it is not spring! Nay!
This shall be the burden of our lay.
We are lying on the greeny lichen
Watching the ma.i in the caf kitchen
And the dishes he is pitchen,
And the sewing he is stitchen.
The verse above is rather silly
But poems are, you know, rilly
Hard to write, when, willy nilly.
Stop!    Stop!    STOP!
Betty Is Just Back
From New York
She Is Now Able
To Display
The Very Latest Fashions
BETTY HAT
and
Gown Shoppe
SS2 Granville Street
Verdant Variety
And it came to pass, early on the
second day of the sixth moon of the
first year of thc reign of the caliph
el Bemo, this wise man reclined in
an intimate upper room of his palace
in Point Grey, drawing soothing refreshment from his nargilah, while
he listened with inscrutible expression to the words of Killam Khan, hia
Wazir.
Killam was knocking Klarendz, the
Chief Eunuch, because his voice was
changing. In the midst of these diatribes, Klarendz returned from the
harem with one of the newest arrivals, a fair Ethiopian, purchased by
him for the caliph's household—one
Lora, of fair cheeks like unto freshly-minted sequnw, eyes like stars and
lips like the crimson pulp of the
pomegranate.
The caliph regarded the damsel
with favor, and Inquired after the
newest batch, garbed in green according to the custom of the place, who
at the time were being initiated by
his other wives.
Then was thc Most Puissant Gink
minded to discover whether the
maiden Lora t.nu her fellows were
the real goods or whether they were
habituated to those toilet practices
which make up for those omittances
and for the absence of mind of Nature in granting womanly charm, of
which the Paunchy Potentate was
some judge. Sc he commanded to
his Chief Eunuch that during their
period of initiation, they should be
allowed no toiletries; these adornments ic be reassumed on his great
Ball, when the probationary term
was over.
Dancing   I
Every
Wed. and Sat.
at the
ALMA
ACADEMY
Featuring
the marvellous music of
STAN PATTON
and his orchestra
ADMISSION
Wed. - Everybody 25c
Sat. - Ladies 25c;
Gents 35c
We still have a few nights
available for private dances
I Have your next class party
I at the Alma
I
I
The Nearest Bank is
The Canadian
Bank of
Commerce
Tenth & Sasamat Branch
A general banking business is transacted and accounts of the Faculty and
Students of the University
of British Columbia are
welcomed.
Bankers to the
Alma Mater
Society
C. R. MYERS, Manager
I
■msBMiaallla Page Four
THE    UBYSSEY
Tuesday, October 1, 1935
First  leter - Colleriate Football damme Tomorrow
No Coach Yet
For Varsity
Footballers
Hitchins Not Yet Back With
Soccer Boys
Among the worried athletic managers this year, you can also include
Stradlottl of the soccer boys. "Who
Will coach our team?" is the theme
of his swan song.
The soccer club is trying hard to
get Charlie Hitchens to resume the
position in wnich he made such a
success last season, but latest rumors say that his services are very
much in demand by other teams. It
is reported that he was offered the
position to coach the St. Andrew3 Inter-City League squad, but since that
team is in *he process of breaking
up, it is expected that any coaching
he does will le for his old charges.
Although the senior boys do not
start league {.;imes until a week Saturday, some of them will be seen
playing for the juniors in their opening game this week against Renfrew
Thistles. The junior and senior teams
managed by Dave Kato and Stradiottl
will be entered as of last year in
the V. and D. League and G.V.A.A.
At the practice on Wednesday, the
two lineups wil; be chosen as well
as the two captains.
■<$>
<$-
RUGBY NOTICE
The following will please turn
out on Wednesday for the game
with St. Georges School.
McFarlane, Burton, Knox, Ew-
ing, Rennie, P. Griffin, Dickie,
Wilson, Walsh, Watson, R. C.
Smith, Lopatecki, Haskins, Rob-
er son.
The team will meet at the
parking lot entrance to the Auditorium at 3:05 p.m. for transportation to Balaclava Park.
Tommy Roxborough will be in
charge.
Your
Transportation
Problem Solved
If you are interested in
cheap, economical, yet absolutely guaranteed transportation
See Doug. Reid,
Class of '34
Begg Bros.
1120 Georgia W.
Kerr. 2684 Sey. 3161
U.B.C.
Paradis   Quarter
R. Morrison  Half
Davie 	
Gray    "
Runkle »    "
Russell	
Parkinson 	
Vine 	
Charlton 	
Snelling Fullback
Hay    "
Jagger End
Burnet     "   i
Copp	
McHugh    "
Billings   Tackle
Preston 	
Deptford  -   "
Keiller    "
Shultz    "
Kirby 	
Young   "
Price Centre
Hodgson    "
Orr  Guard
Boe     "
Bell    "
G. Morrison    "
Gladstone     "
Squad of Thirty  Will
Make Bellingham Trip
Washingon State Normal to Furnish
Opposition
Social Note: Mr. Ivor Moe, coach of the American
grid game at this institution, accompanied by his thirty Thunderbird football proteges, will leave by motor tomorrow for a short
trip to the south. While away from the campus, the team will be
entertained in a formal game of football by the Washington
Normal Vikings.
ROWING
There will be a short meeting of
the Rowing Club noon Wednesday, in
Ap. Sc. 102. All interested in the
sport are urged to turn out, as plans
are made for a v/orkout at Vancouver
Rowing Club.
FROSH BURLECUE
PLAYS UP SHAPELY
CO-ED CHORINES
At noon, October 10, the Frosh Revue will take place. It is to be in
the nature of a Pep meeting for the
Frosh reception which takes place
that night.
At the Frosh yell practice on Friday last, the verdant ones elected
those men whom they thought capable of arranging a super-super-entertainment, to be known as the
"Follies   Freshaires."
Meanwhile n lone male among so
many women, a certain Junior named
Hobden, invaded a similar women's
meeting In Arts 100, and persuaded
the Freshettes lo elect damsels to act
In a similar capacity.
The committee is as follows: Ward
Allen, Bill Gross, Ross Robinson and
Doug Ford, Nancy Housser, Jeannie
Maclntyre, Fronia Snyder, Marian
Kersey, Dorothy Kinney.
Adagio dancing and a Frosh Orchestra, a Mellodrama, and a Chorus
(hurrah) are almost definitely on
the program.
The executive ask that all those
willing to co-operate will get in touch
with them, or come to a meeting
Wednesday noon in Arts 106.
All of which ineuis, llvt the time
for the first intcr-collegiat■< p,;mie ha-,
about arrived. The time, for our
Thunderbirds to show just how they
will shape up this year agiins. crack
American Junior Conference teams.
Will it be tha arne old whitewash
as last year?
Stars Missing
Probably you »y, that the results
were bad enough last year, eva.i wiih
such stars ,\3 F'cddie Bolton, Tiny
Rader, Ed Kendall, Frank Ru.-ih. Die*
King, Iiob Twiss, Ralph Henderson,
Art Willougliby, and othc.' groalii.
What will happen now wit.i a team
not merely hurl by graduation but
crippled?
Well, here's the answer. Not only
will they do better than last year,
but they havo the makings of a team,
which in a few years will »ive Junior Conference elevens'a real battle.
And here are thc reasons. Firstl/, the
squad is not a rehashed Canadian
football team. Secondly, the boys
display a new spirit during their practices. Thirdly, they are actually giving tha ball-carrier interference.
Fourthly, thay couldn't possibly do
worse than la.-it year.
As fa- as tho first reason goes,
nothing was more disastrous than
last year's Dr. Jekyl and Mr, Hyde
policy of one week having an American football squad and the next
week :i Canadian. The difference in
the two styles rf play is too great
for a team to change overnight. The
present Thunderbird squad has been
drilled in interference plays for two
weeks now and there are no games
on their schedule under the Canadian
code.
Vikings Good
But, two weeks of training even
with the good coaching of Doc Burke,
Ivor Moe and F.ill Morrow are not
enough to anywhere reach the standard of Coach Lappenbusch's Vikings,
Bellingham Normal has over a hundred players io choose from, a squad
of two or three teams of equal
strength and play a game only a short
step behind tint of the big American
colleges.
A starting lineup for the game is
still unavailable.   Judging from prac-
<$-
COACH
W.S.N.
McKenzie   Quarter
Bogess   Half
Guglumo     "
Tarte Fullback
Gall      "
Alpaugh  End
Pence     "
Woerner   Tackle
Frender     "
Ullin Guard
Rice    "
Ames   Centre
Smith Spare
Kvinslind    "
Nagrodski     "
Dzurick     "
Thyegsen    "
Johnson    "
Popvick     "
Moran    "
Charvot   "
Bevan    "
Seiber    "
Reickmen     "
DOC BURKE
Together with Ivor Moe and Bill
Morrow, Doc Burke, perennial mentor
of U. B. C. Canadian and American
football teams, has faced the practically impossible task of building a
good grid machine from a bunch ot
enthusiastic but compaartively green
students. The first big test comes tomorrow at Bellingham.
tices, however, Rudy Paradis of last
year's junior team will probably start
at quarter. For backs, the coaches
may call on any number of players
including Rex Morrison, Gray, Runkle, Russell, Parkinson, Vine and
Charlton. Frank Hay and Gordie
Snelling leave nothing to be desired
as fullbacks.
The centre por.t will have Price or
Hodgson. Jimmy Orr and Barney
Boe look best at guard, with Ronny
Bell, G. Morrison and Gladstone alsi
available. Varsity has three veteran
tackles in Kei'ler, Preston and Kirby
with Deptford. Shultz and Youn"?
trying hard for n place. At the end-,
two veterans are available—Stu Jaeger and Bill Burnet—while McHugh
and Copp will be ready for substitution.
r
ttty? Httiwrattij
of Inttfilj (Eniwmhta
Last Day for Payment
of First Term Fees
October 7th, 193S
All cheques must be certified and made payable to
The University of British Columbia
Mailing certified cheques to the Bursar is
recommended
■^■C
L_
For regulations governing fees see Calendar,
pages 34 to 38 inclusive
J
Manager System Offers
Golden Opportunities
Varsity Women
Plan to Form
Track Team
Latest of the Lrain-children of this
year's athletic executives is a plan
to revive on Ihe campus an organization which has been defunct for
well-night five years — a women's
track club.
If the longer roon-hour now being
angled for by 1 lie council comes into
effect, it is expected that women
track enthusin^ts will be seen in action in all intra-mural and inter-class
events held by the Track Club. In
1930 there was such a club here but
all attempts since then to reorganize
have fallen through.
If suitable meets could be arranged
with outside competition from local
high schools they also would be held.
At the Women';? Athletic Meeting yesterday it was decided to elect a committee of thr'io to organize those interested. Dean Bollert expressed herself not in favor of the proposal, declaring that sl'f believed the sport
rather too strenuous for women unless their activities should be closely
supervised.
Are you greatly interested in some
form of University Athletics, but for
some reason or other unable to take
a really active part in it? Have you
that not uncommon urge to do something for your Alma Mammie in the
way of Sport—something that will
bring you distinction with a minimum of physical effort? Freshmen
in particular—do you want to be
seen in one of those gorgeous Big
Block sweaters, although you are not
good enough to make the team?
If so; if the paragraph above summarises some of the fondest dreams
in your heart, you have a golden opportunity for their realization presented you by the U.B.C. Athletic
Managerial System.
All five Major Sports—Rugby, Football, Basketball, Soccer and Track-
have  Senior,   Associate   and   Junior
Managers. Applications are now being taken for tho latter two positions
now, as can be seen from notices
elsewhere on this page and on campus notice boards.
The object of the system is to give
the maximum efficiency in the administration of M'3n's Athletics with
regards to such matters as league affairs, playoff scries, tours (managers
travel too) and finances. The manager represents the University in
league councils, and his sport in the
Men's Athletic Executive.
And now for the reward. The senior manager has a regulation Big
Block sweater in light blue color with
a gold "M" on the sleeve. The associate receives a regulation Small
Block also with an "M" attached.
So there you ore. This is a perfect
chance  to apply  for  distinction.
NOTICE
All club fees must be paid at the
A.M.S. office before membership will
be granted. Not to club executive.
Wanted I
Sports Reporters
for the Ubyssey
Apply to Publications Board
Office, Auditorium Building
No Experience Necessary
Fifty Rugger
Enthusiasts
At Practice
Three Teams to be Entered in
City Leagues
Since the la it issue of the Ubyssey,
the Rugger Club has had a fine workout and prospscts for a very brilliant
season have nver been better. Saturday there were three full teams out
with half a dozen men to spare. Under the able supervision of Captain
Dobbie, last year's successful coach
two practice games were played. The
standard of play was well above par
| for a first of the season turnn-out,
iand augurs well for Varsity rugby
this year. No places on any of the
| teams have yet been definitely filled,
as there is still a practice on Wednesday that may affect the allotment of positions for Saturday's senior B game,  the first of the season.
As usual there will be at least
three teams in city competition—the
seniors, the seeond division team and
the third division team, the last composed mainly of freshmen. If this
third team is good enough they may
move up to tho second division
league.
Of the senior men last year, only
Ron Upward «md Tommy Roxborough
are definitely not returning, however
the latter will be coaching the second
team. Morris is temporarily out with
a crock knee which he acquired last
summer in an attempt to collect
workmen's compensation. MacGuire
reported back on Monday and, if in
condition, should be a steady man on
the team. Senkler will be back on
Oct. 15 and undoubtedly will be in
his old fighting form.
BOARD and RESIDENCE
For Men Students
Salisbury Lodge
ON CAMPUS
Five minutes walk from Varsity. Hot
and cold water in all rooms. Baths
and showers on both floors. Large
lounge for boys and excellent food.
Moderate charge.
Pt. Grey 430
The Accounts
of the
Faculty and
Students
of the University of
British Columbia
are welcomed
BANK OF
MONTREAL
Established 1817
West Point Grey Branch
Trimble & Tenth Ave. W.
A. B. MOORE, Manager
NOTICE
Applications will be taken up till
October 1 for tin? positions of Associate and Junior Track Managers. Those
interested reply to Vic Town via the
Arts Letter  Rack.
LOST
Black   purse  on  campus;   if  found
return to C. Ritcson, Dalhousie Apts.
NOTICE
There will '» a meeting of the
Track Club Friday, October 4, in
Arts 106. All Freshmen and all former participants are requested to
turn out.
NOTICE
There will be a meeting of the Men's
Athletic Association at 12:15 Wednesday in Ap. Sc. 100.
University Book Store
Hours, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Saturdays, 9 a.m. to 1 p.m.
LOOSE-LEAF NOTE BOOKS, EXERCISE BOOKS
and SCRIBBLERS
AT REDUCED PRICES
Graphic Engineering Paper, Biology Paper, Loose Leaf
Refills, Fountain Pens and Ink, and Drawing Instruments
Crepe Paper for Masquerades, etc.
AH Your Book Supplies Sold Here

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