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The Ubyssey Feb 23, 1951

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 War Memorial Gym Opens Today
oos
Sponsor
Pep  Meet  Today
UBC students will be treated
to a long list of excellent enter-
talnittent at the Kickapoc-spon-
sol'ad pap meet today at 12:30
in the Armory, in support of the
W|i> Memorial Oym opening this
evening.
headlining the list of perform-
eM will be Spec Watkins,, and
sohgstress Juliette, to amuse and
delight the audience.
Watkins, a comedian emcee, is
otirrently emceelng the Mills
Brothers show at a downtown
night club.
Comic songs, and take-offs
art Watkins medium, and he
specialises in female impersonations.
Watkins Is widely known for
hli own apeolal version ot "Barn-
ac4a BUI the Sailor," in which
h* plays the part ot Barnacle
Bill, and that of his girl, replete
with hats and mannerisms,.
A hopped-up version of "The
Shooting of Dan McGrew" is
another ot Watkins better-known
acts.
CBC aong stylist, Juliette is
will-known  to varsity students
from' her previous appearances
at pep meets, and her return
should be a welcome one.
Juliette will be remembered
for her appearance on the CBC
program, "Summertime" broad*
cast each Sunday evening from
Malkln Bowl during the summer
season.
During the winter months, Juliette is busy with Dream Time,
and Star Time, both CBC shows.
Students will have another
chance to view the newly-formed Drum Majorette group at the
pep meet, as they watch the girls
go through their routines.
Cheer leaders will be out in
force, along with the Varsity
Brass Band.
VOC Squamish Band will render a few of their well-known
selections.
Engineers will have their time
too, when they produce a skit
intended for their pep meet
earlier this week.
Men's Big Block Club have
also planned a skit tor the entertainment.
Photo by .Walft Sussel
WORKMEN INSTALL NEW BACKBOARDS
Backboards
Arrive For
Long-awaited glass backboards and special hoops for
the new War Memorial Gymnasium arrived just ln time for the
unofficial student opening tonight, but they don't fit. "
Slip up in the measurements
somewhere mudc the parts join
out of line.
An extensive welding and rutting job would have been necessary in order to use the heavy
glass backdrops whicli were a
gift from the graduating class
of '.11.
Hurried *all for a remedy was
answered by substituting a
heavy plywood sheet which was
porting framework.
Workmen were still finishing
the job at press time Thursday,
and the painting had not yet
been started.
Ole Bakken, who had been
waiting anxiously for weeks for
the backstop equipment to arrive In Vancouver, showed disappointment when he heard that
the  glass frames  could  not  be
Hoops
Opening
used for the opening tonight.
"After weeks of wiring and
checking with the manufacturers and the shipping companies
to get these backboards here
before the opening date, this has
to happen," he moaned.
Hut Bakken realized that nothing could be done before the
opening gamo, so ho arranged
for the substitutes.
"Students are used to seeing
wooden backstops In the old
gym," he said, "so I guess they
won't mind too much If the glass
frames aren't in for tonight."
Just when the gift equipment
will be installed, was not made
clear.
"At least the goods are here,"
Bakken said. "That's some consolation." *
Coach Jack Pomfret of tho
Thunderbird Basketball team,
will work his boys In the new
gym today to get them nsed to
the springy floor and the baskets in preparation for their
8:00 p.m. game with Eastern
Washington Savages.
P»p Meet
Today
The Ubyssey
Pep Meet
Today
VOL.XXXI1I
VANCOUVER, B.C., FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 1951
NO. 52
Treatment
Replaces  Moralizing
'Individual treatment has replaced moralizing and punishment in the juvenile court, Gordon Stevens, probation officer
of the Vancouver juvenile court, told a noonhour meeting of
tnV Psychology Club Thursday.
Courts have two responsibilities
In handling juveniles, he told tbe
group. One ls tp the Individual,
,*(■/. * '**!&■>*« f^^vmtev^
the 'wsssMfwe suewiyr
-Bpeaklug on probation jn'oce-
dures, Mr. Stevens outlined the
background work which went into
every youngster's -case before he
was brought up tor correction. This
Mr. Stevens said, included interviews with the youngster, parents,
school, and consultations or rull
scale psychiatric examination.
though there are still controls,
he ,Said, probation officers do not
dictate, but try to bring the de-
ll»quent Juvenile to a realisation
thai self-discipline Is good for htm.
While boys are brought before
prslhation officers for a great variety ot reasons, Mr. Stevens said,
gil*ls were detained primarily for
aekual Immorality.
Nominations
For LSE Awards
Dye This Week
Wltti only two days left to submit nominations, four names have
to date been suggested for the
coveted H o n or a r y Activities
Award, highest award given by
the Alma Mater Society.
iHnal day for submitting nominations Is Feb. 24, but any names
sent over the week-end will be accepted, states USC president Cy
MdOuiro.
A student may ciualify for the
award In one of three groups:
(1) A student In any year who
Iras made an outstanding contribution ln one particular field.
(2) A Student preferably In his
final year who has won an LSE
or Athletic Award, or has been
elected to an honorary fraternity
or society.
(3) A student In his graduating
year whose scholastic, athletic and
extra achievements deserve recognition.
Names and qualifications of nominated persons should be submitted to the Awards Committee at
the AMS office.
Presentation of the award will
be made at the general meeting of
the Alma Mater Society, on March
"•   -.<-. jurat
'Twjoit Cloittf
On United States
At CLU Meeting
Dr. H. Copp, of the medicine
faculty and formerly of Berke
ley University staff, will speak
to CLU meeting in Engineering 200 at 12:30 p.m. today.
Topic: An American Looks at
the USA.
tc      je      <k
DR. A. L. LYNCH will Bpeak to
the Pre Meds on "Medical Foibles.'1 Dr. Lynch, a CPR doctor,
will speak In Physics 201 at 12:30
today.
ejp 9p ep
CHOPIN'S CONCERTO No. 1 In
K Minor will be presented today
at 12:30 by tbe Music Appreciation Club In the Men's Club Room,
in  the Brock.
ep *T *P
VFC PRESENTS "Voice of the
Deep", sound film in natural
color produced by the Moody in-
stlute of Science under Dr. Er-
win Moon today at 12:30 In the
auditorium.
* *        *
FILM SOCIETY presents Slg-
mund Romberg's "Maytlme" with
Nelson Eddy and Jeanette MacDonald Tuesday, February 20 ai
3:45, (5:00 and 8:15. Admission
is 25 cents.
* * *
QUARTET IN O MAJOR Symphony No. fi will be presented by
the Music Appreciation Club Mon
day at 12:30 in the Men's Club
Room In tho Brock.
* *        *
THE WEEKLY MEETING or
the Christian Science Organization will be held Friday 12:30 in
Physics 300.  All welcome.
Lyon Exonerated
Following Charges
Photo by Bruce Jaffary
Phillips to Sing Monday
AMS Meeting
Postponed
, Spring general meeting of the
Alma Mater Society has been rnoi*
ed forward five days from March
15 to 20, a student council official
announced today.
Postponement of the meeting
was necessitated by the previous
scheduling of a concert by the
Special Events committee of fhe
Literary and Scientific Executive.
Student Council will petition the
administration to have l:0i» p.m.
lectures cancelled so that the stu-
■dent meeting may last two hours
If necessary.
Main points on the agenda so
far concern further Implementation of the Ostrom Plan and revision of the AMS constitution.
ENGINEER FINED
FOR INTOXICATION
FOLLOWING BALL
An Engineer was fined $10
in police court Thursday on a
charge of intoxication in a pub*
lie place. He is A. W. Slater,
who told Mag. W. W. B. Mclnnes when asked for an explanation, that there is "just
one big event of the year—the
Engineers' Ball."
Slater was arrested by police officers In Vancouvers
Chinatown Thursday morning
following the annual Engineers' Ball, this year entitled
"Qodiva's Gallop.''
Fourteen Flu Coses
Reported ot U. of Col.
UKRKKLKY. Cal. — (Exchange)
— Fourteen new cases of influenza among U of California's students population were reported
this week by tho Dally Callfornian
Undergraduate   publication.
Latest figures released from the
university's Cowell hospital was
7ft.
More than 4,000 students, faculty ni\d other university employe-
es received free flu shots at thc
hospital.
TICKETS  FOR  OPENING
GAME  STILL AVAILABLE
Tickets for the gym-opening basketball game are going
fast.
They are still available at the student rate of 50c, in
the Quad today at noon and at the AMS office.
Privilege passes will not be honored at the special
event, and all tickets sold at the door will be at the outsiders' rate of $1.00.
Banham Unable Te Prove
!•■■
AMS president-elect Vaughan Lyon has been cleared of
Ubyssey charges that political clubs were attemuppting to pack
student council by a special committee who wound up investigations Thursday. '■	
Doyle  To  Play At Dance
Star attraction of the sock dance
which follows 'Birds basketball
game with Eastern Savages tonight will be Pat Doyle's 17 piece
orchestra.
Recently named "Vancouver's
Hand of the Ycar," Mr. Doyle's mu
ly in a downtown dancing spot.
PASTEL  VOCAL  GROUP
Vocalists with the orchestra arc
Johnny Armstrong and Lovely
Marl Carson, The two singers combine in their songs and with Mel
Smith and Jerry Boucher, form
"Tiie    I'aslels."    the    Doyle    vocal
slclans will make their second ap-1
penranee  at   UBC  when  they  playgroup.
for   the   free   dance. Special   attraction  of  Doyle's
The   band,   one   of   the   largest I pearance   al   I'BC   wi-11   be   the
dance hands in Canada, plays week-1 irodiicllon of a new melody.
ap-
in-
"PLEASE   BE   MINE"
Culled "Please Be Mine." the
song was written hy a Vancouver-
ite, Mannuh Byrne.
Miss Byrne brought her coin-
position to Doyle, and he had Doe
Handel penned an arrangement for
the   Doyleinen   to   play.
Dehnl of the new tune was settled for Friday night at the gym
opening.
Charges that political clubs were
attempting to control council were
made by Ubyssey editor Jim Banham In his column "Brickbats'' two
weeks ago. Banliani claimed that
political clubs conspired before
Christmas to put up a slate ol
officers and elect them to council
for the 1951-52 term.
Student Council subsequently
asked Banham to prove his charge
or print an apology for his statements. Banham said he would do
neither.
"As a newspaperman 1 cannot
reveal my sources and since I
feel I was acting In the best interests of the student body, I do not
feel that an apology Is necessary,'-
Hanham told councillors at a special meeting.
FROST  SUPPORTS   BANHAM
Editor-in-chief Ray Frost of the
Publications Hoard Informed Council ut the same time that the
editorial board of the Ubyssey was
In full support of Uunlvum's statements,
Banliani offered at. the same
time to ask his sources to appear
before a council committee to reiterate liis statements. An unanied
council committee of three persons
was set up and conducted investigations for more than a week.
In a .statement released yesterday, the committee said, "The fact
that several leading members of
political clubs took active parts in
the AMS elections would Indicate
nothing more than the fact that
the interests of such persons happened to be along the lines of
student government--a not unusual and not uneoninienclable state of
affairs.
FRIENDLINESS   NO   UNUSUAL
"That such persons were friends
is also not unusual since their
interests lay along the same lines
botli as far as the university und
outside matters were concerned.''
The committee's report continued: "It might well have appeared
on the surface that a plot existed
lo pack the council with political
leaders, and Mr. Banhani's remarks t
are  understandable   particularly  in
special council meeting and the
report handed down by the committee, both Banham and the committee attempted to get primary
sources to appear before the council to substantiate the information.   Neither  were  successful.
The committee and Banham,
however, met with a secondary
source, who did substantiate the
information. Tho committee handed down their report on Information received from tlio secondary
source.
COMMITTEE   CONCLUDES
"We bave therefore," the commute concludes in their report,
"no recourse but to conclude that,
although Mr. Banham had the best
interests of the student body at
heart when making his accusations
and believed these to be true, that
they sprang from remarks which
could not be further substantiated.
Permanent Job
Prospects Good
For Graduates
Graduates of commerce and engineering have the host prospects
for obtaining permanent jobs this
spring, according to Major John
Mclean of the UBC Placement
Bureau.
Prospects look especially good,
he said, for mechanical, electrical
and  chemical engineers.
About '10 per cent of the engineers and L'il per cent of all other
faculties have already' obtained
jobs, slates Major McLean. The
bureau hopes lo place **><' per cent
of the engineering faculty in lhe
jobs now available.
-Major McLean stressed, however, that engineering jobs were
not as plentiful as some engineers
believed. Because a number of
them were offered two or three
jobs, lie said, Ihey have the idea
that there are more jolts available than engineers to fill them.
This,   he said,  is  completely  false.
"More applications for jobs will
he taken hy the Placement Bur-
view of the primary source's orl- | ,.,au after March 1. when applica-
glnal  claim.*' ; tlons   now   with   the   bureau   have
In     Ihe     interim     between     tin*  heen placed, staled  Major McLean. Pago 2
THE UBYSSEY
The Ubyssey
MEMBER CANADIAN UNIVERSITY PRESS
Authorized as Second Class Mall Post Office Dept. Ottawa. Student Subscriptions fl per
year (included in AMS Fees). Mail Subscriptions—$2.00 per year. Published throughout
the university year by tbe Student Publications Board of the Alma Mater Society of the
University of British Columbia.
Editorial opinions,expressed heroin aro those of tho editorial staff of The Ubyssey and not
necessarily those of the Alma Mater Society nor of the University.
Oftlces i.i Brock Hnll, Phono ALma 10*24 For display advertising phone ALma 38W
EDITOFMN-CHIEF     RAY FROST
OENERAL STAFF: Senior Editors, Ann Langbein, Mail Stainsby, John Napier-Hemy;
Cupy Editor, Jim Dnnhani; CUP Editor, Joan Churchill; Women's Editor, Joan Fraser,
Sports Editor, Alex MacCiillivray; Fine Arts Editc.;*, John Brockington; Editorial Writers,
Les Armour, Hal Tennant; Photography, Tommy Hatcher.
Senior Edtior—JOHN NAPIER-HEMY
Write.r This Issue:
MIKE  HIND-SMITH
BILL SALTER
ELSIE GORBAT
JOAN CHURCHILL
ANN LANGBEIN
Wasting  Our Time?
Results of Wednesday's plebescite on
religious courses appear to be an amusing tribute to UBC's students' love of academic
freedom.
Of 1258 student voters, 910 were in
favor of the University offering religious
courses. But when it came to putting themselves down as interested in taking the
courses, most voters apparently adopted a
"Who, me?" attitude, for fewer than 600
said they were interested.
We haven't quite decided whether this
means UPC students are all for Christianizing everyone but themselves, or whether they
merely wish to avoid standing in the way
of anyone else seeking a greater insight into
religion and its problems.
. The only really unfortunate part of the
referendum's results is that they stem from
a rather dubious survey—namely, a 20 percent turnout to the AMS polls. In other
words, roughly 15 percent of our 6200 students have gone on record as favoring religi
ous courses. A fat 80 percent of the campus
have expresed no opinion at all, for they
didn't bother to vote Wednesday
The problem now facing the student committee on religious courses is a very real
and decidedly secular one: Should a vote
among 20 percept of the student population
be considered a sufficient degree of expression upon which to base recommendations to
the Administration?
The answer if we are to accept our new
Council as also definitely decided, must of
course be 'yes-' But a cautious, budget-conscious Administration may well see fit to reject our findings as incomplete, and order#a
questionnaire written into next fall's registration.
And it may easily develop that, after
all its fussing and fuming, the religious
referendum committee, through no direct
fault of its own, has been wasting its valuable
time.
Cut   Down   on   Conniving
By expending a few cents extra per student, UBC's Alma Mater Society might find
it can safeguard student elections and provide a positive system of identification at
the same time. ,
In an earlier editorial, The Ubyssey outlined a system of polling divisions that would
put the onus on each voter either to vote
honestly or commit forgery.
Now forgery is a hard thing to prove and,
on such grounds, might not be out of temptation's way for the type of student who would
stuff ballot boxes anyway.
To avoid this grave possibility, the AMS
elections committee should look into the
feasibility of providing a photostatic copy of
each AMS card, to replace the card inself.
Before the photostats are made, each
member of the AMS would have his picture
and his signature placed on his card.
The card itself might then go on file in
the AMS office as a reference system with
multiple uses and advantages. The photostats
would be carried on the person, just as cards
are supposed to be now.
The obvious advantage to this method
is that it would ensure that once a person's
signature and photograph are linked for identification, they could not be altered. The system would cut out all chances of unscrupulous students juggling their photos from card
to card and passing off scrawled signatures.
The Ubyssey has not investigated the
exact cost of such a venture. We feel that
such investigations lie in the jurisdiction of
lhe elections committee.
But the price would have to be pretty
high before anyone could claim that insurance of honest elections are not worth the
expenditure involved.
Critic on the Hearth ***.*. »«u»+m
"The Gondoliers" was offered by Mussoc
as its traditional spring attempt but unfortunately the gondola was waterlogged even
before it had a chance to sink.
Any non-professional organization who
attempt a work by Gilbert and Sullivan
should have their heads examined. If they
hope to make these papier-mache trifles
palatable they must posses the highest technical precision, a polished urbanity, and a
sense of high-comedy style that it is usually
quite impossible for performers other than
those of the D'Oylc Carte to achieve. Most
amateurs therefore certainly cannot expect
commendation for attempting the impossible.
The handicap Mussoc imposed upon
themselves by choosing G. and S. was not
helped by the director, Mr. C. Haydn Williams who is a thoroughly incompetent leader
both technically and artistically. The performance was completely out of hi.s control.
No one payed the slightest attention to him.
On the whole, the singers showed no conception of musical line and seemed content to
stand opening their mouths in a mqst lackadaisical fashion, irregardless of the noise
that emerged.
Mr. E. V. Young, the stage director, took
every opportunity of stringing the singers in
a straight line across the front of the stage.
Acting was reduced to a minimum, the recall of lines scorning to be all that the performers were able to concentrate on at one
time.
There were two exceptions to this general
ennui, in the performances of Milla Andrew
as Tessa and John Yoemans as Guiseppe.
Miss Andrews' acting has improved tremendously and was full of neat touches. Vocally
she has always made intelligent use of a good
Voice and yesterday liar singing wa-: imbued
with a new measure nf duii'in,      „
Mr. Yoemans is still a diamond in the
rough but managed to communicate an infectious zest when on stage and revealed a
good natural voice the with proper training
should make him an ideal operetta hero.
This review has been deliberately scathing although not any more so than the performance warranted. "Dido and Aeneas" was
an artistic triumph for Mussoc proving that
high standards are possible for student productions. In view of that previous success
I feel that Mussoc is fully deserving of such
•-•ensure for their present fiasco.
STAR ATTRACTION
New Style Trends
To Highlight Show
By JOAN FRASER
Here's good news for all yotf gals who are interested in the
latest style trends—there's going to be a fashion show on the
campus next Monday night, February 26.
The show, featuring clothes that'
Friday,    February    23,    1951
M-      ii ■■ ■ ■'  ■■in—^mt^——«*■
Classified
L08T
SHAEFFER    PEN,    brown    with
name engraved ln Qold. Phone AL
0725L.
PARKER   '51,   lost   Feb.   3rd   at
Health Service, blue with gold top.
Phone AL 0726L.
will be news in tbe summer, will
be held In Brock Hail Lounge
starting at 8:30 p.m. Fashions hove
been chosen from Eaton's Department store.
Representing "The Seven Ages
of Woman" will be the attractive
models, many of whom have been
chosen troni Hi* offices on th
campus. »
Miss Anne Barton, fashion commentator, told me about the Library Bursary Fund, whioh will
benefit from the proceeds of the
affair.
Apparently students who are Interested ln library work need special post-grad training before they
may. 'become full-fledged librarians.
And the speoial training cannot
be taken ln Vancouver.
Sooooo, promising students have
to take extra studies before
they become qualified for the
jobs In which they are most interested. Librarians in Vancouver are trying to provide bursaries to smooth the financial paths
of these students. This is one way
In which they hope to raise the
money.
t
And attending the fashion show
Is one way you can get a preview
of the latest fashions.
■Wilt AN© THAT?
Mary Lett came up to me yesterday and. said, "Gould you possibly get this in the paper for me?"
"This" turned out to be a plea,
an appeal, a request, a demand, or
what ever you want to oall It, to
all Second and Third year Arts-
women. THIRI WILL tl A
MIITINO TODAY Friday ln Arts
106, to discuss the activities of this
group in. the Women's Undergraduate Society. 1 understand that
their representative will be elected.
* Mary is Third Year Arts Rep on
WUS now, and as you know, has
just been elected to the presidency of WUS. She ls anxious to get
a really peppy programme for next
year, and would like your suggen
tions at this meeting. That's at
noon  today.
WUS and WAA will sponsor a
joint meeting next Thursday
March 1, in the two-hour noon
hour. This is the meeting where
the election of next year's WUS
representatives takes place.
One or two Innovations will be
Introduced at this meeting. Voting will be by secret ballot.
This ls also ot great importance
to WUiS, and all girls on the cam
pus are asked to attend.
And getting buck to the almost
Immediate present, here's awhat-to
do-suggestlon for tonlg<ht's date.
Why not go to see the big opening
of the War Memorial Gym? There
will be a free dance to the tunes
of Pat Doyle's orchestra afterwards. Be sure to take socks—no
oile will be allowed on the floor
In shoes.
LETTER TO THE EDITOR
Editor,  The  Ubyssey,
Dear Sir:
I wish to take this opportunity
to thank all those who helped and
peclally my campaign managers
supported me in my campaign, es
Leo Relerls, Lawrence Lynda and
Bruce MacWilllams and the artist,
Jimmy Genis. To those who ex
pressed their confidence in me, 1
extend my gratitude and hope 1
shall be able to fulfill that confidence.
Yours sincerely,
John deWolf.
SHIRTS and CLIAN1NC
1-DAY SERVICE
////
"WW, ink Af*
The Unitarium Chunk
1660 WEST  10th AVI.
Sunday, 11 a.m.—
"RELIGIOUS LIBERALISM"
7:30 p.m. — Discussion Forum
"Soviet Policy and War"
Is Russia preparing for a devastating war of destruction? Is she
scheming to enslave the WESTERN
NATIONS? If the answer is "yes"
then re-armament may be justified.
If the answer ls "no" THEN rearmament ls blind stupidity.
Minister A. HOOQKINt, M.A.
Much Ado About Rushing
We are the sisters of Stigma Moo,
Shyly, sincerely, inviting you,
Freshettes of nineteen fifty-one,
All earnest, eager, and full of fun,
To join our distinguished little group
Of alumnae from Wivercwest and Wupe,
With just a sprinkling from public schools,
In order to conform to rules
Set forth by head-office, Pandamnation,
(To whom be all honour and adoration.)
At our meetings, or "salons" as they're called,
By our wit and wisdom you'll be enthralled.
You wqn't find more clever conversation
Tn all the poultry farms of the nation.
B talks about A, A C, C B,
In a circle of endless futility.
Search our sorority far and near,
You'll find no sophistication here,
For we have found, in very truth,
The fountain of eternal youth,
A home of blissfull purity,'
Perpetual  immaturity,
Come hither, come hither, come hither,
Here shall you see
\To enemy,
No winter or rough weather. — Manitoban
SPRING IS HERE
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*   I
Pro v.. May,   February   23,    1951
THE.UBYSSEY
Page 3
Olivers Travels
By Blondie
There will be weeping and wailing and
gnashing of teeth in the Caf today.
Permanent fixtures, some of the very
bulwark of the caf, will be seen to throw
back a stiff gulp of coffee, clench their teeth,
and with one white knuckled hand gripping
the table edge, throw open a copy of the
Ubyssey. A» their glance dribbles down the
printed page it will come to rest on the
tainted name.
Some will pass away quietly.
Others will laugh* wildly, hysterically and
rush out frothing to lose themeslves in reckless orgies of studying which may last as long
as nine daya.
But the true firm-rooted rounder, he of
the calloused backside will; point the quivering acqusing finger like a man who has just
met an eel in hie bath and bleat for an explanation of this club that broke the camel's
back*
At least, that is what my roommate predicted would happen were I to quit the pea
end shell game and write a column.
So I, cringing wormlike under a wet
editor, will whine my innocence as a dupe
of cixqurastance.
It all began in fall, 1050, in the days of
The Great Purge, (not to be confused with
The Big. Molasses Scare, The Epsom Races
or other disturbances ot the same time).
Out of the jungle in the vicinity of the
Gym. oozes the haggard frame of a freshman.
It is I. Days of eluding fanatically purgative
engineers have brought out my most animal
instincts. My nose quivers delicately. It has
discovered fresh Redshirt sign! Darting furtively) my eyes seek it out. A few paces away
I spot it, a mound of fresh earth, an ereected
T square and a bloodstained Frosh Button
swinging gently in the breeze.
I must hide. A hundred yards away in
the Brock there is a steady traffic of Co-eds
passing through the north door. The co-eds
passing on wearing look of urgency and walk
slightly faster than those passing out. My
deductive brain works feverishly. No Engineer would follow me there. Nipping smartly
forwards the Brock, heedless of the sharp
stones which tear my knuckles, I enter the
swinging door and weasel down a convenient
recess.
But here I encounter the fly in the Taeer.
I am in a sort of opium den. I find it necessary to breathe through the mouth and chew
the air and I suspect someone has been
smoking. From behind a typewriter a pair
of eyes glows maliciously in the darkness.
"Looks like one of Norm's hatchet men.
See if he's clean."
The mammook hide which I am wearing
as a disguise during The Great Purge is torn
from me and I am left nude and trembling,
but undeniably clean. As I blushingly clutch
at copy paper in an attempt to cover my
tribe scar, the horrible truth of my predicament comes to me. I am in the Pub.
Must he calm. Just humour them until
I can make a break. Say anything.
"Wanna be a reporter," I gibber, edging
towards the door and trying to appear nonchalant as I light a cigarett. Horrible screams
as the flicker of the match shows a creature
writhing on the floor clutching its eyes, its
mole-like features contorted in agony, shriek
ing, "That light! Take it away. Take it away."
"Hormone's been with us a long time.
He doesn't get out much," explains the Big
Wheel.
"So you want to be a reporter," says an
editor—quite a decent sort, good naturedly
disengaging his teeth from the calf of my
leg.
"But he's so young," pleads the B. W.
touchingly.
"Sheddap wench," snarls my editor.
"That's the way we like to get them." He
leers evilly, "Remember Maledict?"
"Ah yes, Maledict. He was so young,"
sighs the B.W., affectionately fingering a
shrunken skull.
"Of course, I may not be fully qualified,"
I croak. "I live at Fort Camp, though I can
handle a fork and knife pretty well and the
sight of an open book makes me panicky and
I have a nasty little habit of setting dogs on
fire and . . .
From there on it was hard, cold railroad
track.
And I curse when I think it could have
all been avoided if my grandmother had had
an affair with an engineer.
Ex-BUP Manager
To Adies P.,
Newman Club
UBC will host a big-time newspaperman Tuesday. Robert W.
Keyserllnk, former General Manager of the British United Press
in Montreal will speak to a joint
meeting of the United Nations
Club und the Newman Club at
12:30 on Tuesday.
Keyserllnk, born in Russia, the
Hon of a former Russian Navy
Officer has travelled widely in the
business. When the Revolution
broke out in Russia in 1917 he tied
to Japan. Having taken his early
education in Japan and China he
came to UBC and graduated from
here ln Economics.
As Foreign Correspondent he has
spent time in all the major capitals of the world. In Chile he received the Distinguished award of
the Order of Merit of Bernardo
O'HIggins.
On a recent trip to Europe he
had the chance of meeting numer-
our of the prominent figures in
the current political scene. Presently he is publisher und editor of
the Campion Press and the Catholic Weekly Ensign.
Annual Assembly
To Be Held Today
U.Jtf. Club presents the fifth
session of the Model Oeneral Assembly in the Brock Hall at 8:00
p.m. today. They will discuss tin
American resolution branding Red
China as the aggressor In  i' - >
The session will end at 10: ir. nnd
b '■•""» lasting until 1:00 a.m
will follow.
Classified
POUND—-One grey noodle head lu
the vicinity of the Oeorgla Tavern lust Saturday night. Will the
owner please claim us its presence
Is causing me considerable emba - !"|'m   the   bloodhound   Cullen "trained to track down thoseTJd records
assment.   Besides   I'm  tired  of car-j you hear dally on Jack Cullen'*? Old   Disc   program,   3   to   4:30   p.m."
rylng   it.   round  on   the  end   of- an
1 l-l'ool   pole.  Please phone  A I. 0071
nl'lcr dark onlw
$2.00 Down
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TRANSPORTATION
RIDE   wanted   from   vicinity   of
Grandview   Highway   &   Douglas
Rd. Phone Gunvor at KE 5724L.
TUTORING
TUTORING by McGill graduate in
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2211 W. 37th.
COACHING ln German & French
for reasonable fees. AL 1004L.
ROOM A BOARD ETC.
SINGLfi ROOM & 2 MEALS, laundry done, cooking facilities, for
quiet boy. $35 per month, AL 1004 L
4422 W 13th.
SINOLE ROOM & breakfast, board
optional, for* male student. 4570
W 14th. AL 0343L.
ROOM, desirable room with breakfast for 1 or 2 girls—students or
employees of UBC. 1 block from
bus terminal.
FOR SALE
THE NEW WEAR EVER health
method of cooking ls now being represented In the University
Area. Morris Dauncey, B. Ed.
(UBC) CE 4644.
VIOLIN, 1st class condition, Stain-
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and case included. AL..0060 between 6 and 8 p.m., ask for Al.
English make, cheap, W 1492M
evenings.
FOR A DISPI^AY OF ECKO'S new
"Eternal" stainless steelware ln
the varsity area, please contact Ed.
Ulssell, Fort Camp, UBC.
MEN'S RIDING BOOTS with trees.
Size 11. 1 pair brown, 1 pair black.
English make. Cheap. Phone W
1492M   evgs.
LADIES RIDING COATS, bust 38,
one dark grey (Bond Street), one
navy long, one medium brown.
Excellent quality, cheap. W 1492M
evgs.
FOR DUNBAR RESIDENTS: New
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Contact and leave phone number
with Gordon, KE 30&5R.
PORTABLE WIRE RECORDER
RCA, phone Jim after C p.m. at
AL OH34L.
TYPING
TYPING: English & Foreign languages, theses, essays, manuscript.-'
card work, letters of application.
Campus rates. Miss Elolse Street,
Dalhousie Apts. AL 0655R.
PUBLIC STENOGRAPHER: Experienced In university work, reasonable prices. Lorraine ("happcH,
7.S20  E  Blvd.  KE -17'WR.
Silk Specialists
622*628 Granville
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HURRY for yours! Umbrellas - Main Floof
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The man who smokes a pipe
rates high -with the Campus
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You'll find the fragrance ol
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KOYAL HANK BLDG., VANCOUVER
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SUN LIFE OF-CANADA Page 4
THEtteYSSEY
Friday,    February   23,    1951
Condition  Paying  Off For
'Mural  Boxers, Squirmers
Conditioning paid off once*'
again when the third day of
Jntra.Mural    Boxing,  and
Wrestling got under way.
Best looking fighter of the day
WM Oord Oates (155-164) of ,thy
Redshirts. Oates has a very impressive left jab, and when he
got warned up used his right to
put away Bergmann ln the thirl
beat.
FAST KO
"Fastest knock-out of the day was
managed by McLean of Kappa Sig
who floored Clarke at 1:40 of the
first round after several wild
swings from the floor up.
The rather ludicrous antics of
Kalutlch of Ft. Camp had the
crowd roaring for two rounds. Kalutlch resembles comic Harold
Lloyd In his determined effort to
look professional. He floored Gto-
got* of redshirts in the second
round but met the same fate lu
the third to lose by a TKO.
RESULTS:
Wednesday
Boxing—165-174—McLean (Kappa Sig) Ko'd Clarke (fietat, V.n-
144—Gregor (Redshirts) TKO
Kalutlch (Ft. Camp,) 14.--1VI —
Gray (Newman) dec. ("reemviiv
(Redshirts), 14o-l"»4— Cotton At" ;
dec. Sirols (P.E.) 155-161—Oates
(Redshirts) TKOY. Bergman (Phi
K Pi), 175-184—Briggs (Newman)
dec.   Richmond   (Ft.   Camp.)
Wrestling — 155-164 — Ployar
(Phi Delt) dec. Bodlaek (Beta),
Fletcher (Beta) doe. Hercoff (I)e-
kes),fl Strajtton (P.E.) dee. Wal-I-
le (Forestry) Ormlston (P.E.) dec
pa Sig) was beaten by Warn >■,■
(Meds), Morrlt (Kappa Sig) dec.
Blidd    (D.U.,)    Pulos    (FIJI)    dec.
VOC FIRST
IN MURAL SKI
First Women'! Intramural
Ski Meet on Mount Seymour
last Sunday will probably set
a precedent for such an annual event.
VOC I copped first place
with a total time in the two
slalom events of 4:01.4 sec-
conds; VOC II followed with
6:42.1; Arts III Pink was 3rd
with 5:47.1; Newman in fourth
place with 5:56.8; Residence
was sixth with 6:09.0; and Arts
II last with 6:33.9. Home Ec.
and Arts III green only had
three skiers so they did not
qualify.
SPORT
Sports Editor—ALEX MacGILLIVRAY
Assistant Editor—SHEILA KEARNS
MEET COMMERKS
Ice Series Starts
Next Monday
The UBC Thunderbird hockey squad opens the local senior
"B" playdowns at Kerrisdale Arena on Monday night when
they tackle the Vancouver Commercial League reps in a best
two of three game series.
• Locals should rate as slight fav-
i orltes although they have not play
j ed a game for several weeks. They
{ defeated the erstwhile Commerks
[ four consecutive times dining the
regular season.
!FULL STRENGTH
|     'Birds   will   be   at   full   strength
UBC Girls
Edged Out
In Finals
I'BC Tluinderettes lost their
second fjfume of finals Wednesday to give the .Majorettes the
Women's City League Senior
"B"   basketball   championship.
Thunderettes went down to
a heart-breaking 'i6-'!4 defeat
at the hands of the Majorettes.
Eleanor Cave led the UBC scoring with 15 points and teammate Eleanor Nyholm followed with 7 counters.
Varsity Inter "A" team shared the same fate as the Thunderettes, losing their second
final game and the City League
Intermediate "A1" Championship  to   Richmond   40-41.
Doreen Cummings starred
for the CBC girls with lei
markers, while Adele Aseltine
chalked up !) points.
BIG BLOCK MEET
All members of the Men's Bin
Block Club are requested to turn
cut to the meeting at 12: UO today
In the Double Committee Koni.
Ushering practice will take place
at   this  time.
WOMEN'S Intramural Basket-
hall finals will he played in the
(i.vm at 12:'!0 today. Residence
meets Phys. I0d I in an exciting
game.   Let's   have  a  full   house.
for the set to. Mass Young, ace
lightwinger, is at his peak and
should add to his scoring record.
Kav Kavatiagh, the Fort Camp ace
is also set for some Interesting
checks against the cocky Commerk
forwards.
Don Adams has been clown with
the flu but shoujd be ln top form
for  Ihe  series.
GAME   TIMES
■ Second game of the series is
slated for Tuesday night at the
forum. The game will be part of
tlio "Art Schuinan Memorial''
night event, (lame time Tuesday
is 8. Monday's game at Kerrisdale  Arena  Is  set  or  8:30.
BRAVES CLIPPED
IN 'A' FINAL
UBC Braves dropped the
final game of the Intermediate
A championships Wednesday
night   32-30  to   Clover   Leafs.
Teams were tied at the first
half 18-18 but in the final session the winners lasted Just
a little too long for the tiring
varsity five.
UBC were defending provincial  titlists.
Ruggermen Meet
Crimson Tide Sat
Albert Confident of Win
As Cup Play Resumes
By DOUG HAWKES
Albert Laithwaite, coach of the powerful UBC English
Rugby team, struck an optimistic note yesterday concerning the
'Birds McKechnie Cup match with Victoria Crimson Tide
Saturday at 2:30 p.m. in the Stadium.
Laithwaite Is quite confident his*
team will win on Saturday because
"The squad has looked a lot sharper ln practice this week than they
ever have before, and with a good
crowd backing them up can really
huBtle."
CHANGES
General scrum lagging In getting
the ball out to the scrum half, and
lack of push, has prompted him to
place veteran Dick Buxton and new
comer John Olsen ln the second
row.
Olsen had played for Victoria
last year against UBC in Cup games and he's quite anxious to have
a crack at his former teammates.
Previously, the 'Birds were beaten by the Islanders 6-3 but as yet
have not had an opponent acros
their line. Victoria scored two penalty kicks against a lone UBC try.
The team has been sufferhu'
from lack of a good fullback who
has the anticipation and timing
necessary for that position. I,alth-
walte Is certain Dave MacFarlane
has those attributes and will be a
great asset to the team this weekend.
"I've  also  got  two  of  the  best
wings in the district In John Newton   and   Oeorge   Pull,   once   they
get their hands on the bail."
THREE CENTRES
There will be three centres lor
the match in strip, deny Main.
Stan Clarke and Hugh Greenwood
are being considered for the twr
positions.
As usual Junior Tennant will be
at scrum half. This is his fourth
year on the team and he Is reputed to be one of the best scrim
halves In the district.
In the scrum. Bill Blake, Don
Shaw hnd Ralph Martinson will
fill up the front row. Blake ha.s
been playing exceptionally good
ball all season. Shaw, although only
weighing 150 lbs., moves very fast
and is a continual hustler.
Austin Taylor will he sth man
while* the two break forwards will
be Doug .MacMillan and Danny Oliver. Taylor is the biggest man on
the team with his 265 lbs. and a
very good kicker.
Anyway Albert thinks he has
solved the problem of getting the
hall out from the scrum to one of
his wings and, provided the moral
support ls there, he Is sure of a
decisive victory.'
LEARN TO DANCE
• QUICKLY
•  EASILY
t   PRIVATELY
3 Lessons $5.00-10 Lessons $16.00
Frances Murphy
Dance School
Alma Hall
FA-5932-M
3670 W. Broadway
— SAY-3425
But his Savings Account defies
Newton's Law. // just goes up and up
at
ntmumasmit
op
Bank of Montreal
Your Bank on the Campus . . .
In the Auditorium Building
MERLE C. KIRBY,
Manager
WORKING WITH CANADIANS IN EVERY WALK OF LIFE SINCI  1117
 U7.SO
THUNDERETTES who lost heartbreaker last night, are loft to right: Back Row—Joan
MacArthur, coach; Do Brinham, Manager; Elleanor Cave, Jan Crafter, Sheila Moore, Del
Hartman. Front Row—Mimi Wright, Pat Donovan, Margot Salter, Enna Jane Foster,
Eleanor Nvholm.
means so much
and Coca-Cola has
tho quality you trust
M
Coke
co«,ou™-VANCOUVER
.Iskfor it either way . . . both,
trade mark* menu the fame thing.
621X

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