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The Ubyssey Jan 23, 1953

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VOLUME XXXV
VANCOUVER, B.C., FRIDAY, JANUARY 23, 1953
PRICE 5c; No. 39
Socred Head Decries
Liberal   Corruptness
PRORtCS WILL HOLD
CANADA WIDE CAPERS
Students from coast-to-coast,
member* of UBC's Public Recreation Class, will present their
first campus social event tonight
at Brock Hall.
Dance, known as Coast-to-
Coast Capers, will get under way
way at 8 p.m., and will carry on
through until midnight.
Floor show will Include a short
skit presented by Recreation students.
Admission to the dance will be
60c each or 75c per couple.
AMS Prexy
Nominations
Due By 28th
Nominations for positions of
president and secretary of the
AMS must be in the hands oi
the secretary of AMS by 5 p.m.
Jan. 28.
Nominations for chairman of
USC must be In by same tlnio.
These positions comprise first slam
to be voted on by student body.
Voting day will be Wednesday.
Feb. I.
VICE PREXY AS WELL
Candidates for offices or Vlc»
President, public relations officer,
president of MAD, president of
WU'S nnd president of WAD must
be nomlnnted by 5 p.m. Feb. 4.
Voting for tliese positions, which
are .slate two. will be held on
Wednesday, Feb. 11.
Hellenic Tragedies
To Be Shown Again
In Auditorium At 8
Second showing of two Greek
tragedies, "The Agamemnon" and
"The Choephoroe" will begin at
8:15 tonight in the University Auditorium.
Written nearly 2500 years asjo
(English department informed us)
these plays contain some of thj
most magnificent characterisations and exciting dramatic scenes
in the whole history of the theatre.
Cast of 40 actors has been, rehearsing for two months under
direction of Dorothy Somerset.
Elsie Graham has trained ths
choruses. Scenery and coBtumea
By VALERIE GARSTIN | have been designed by Cliff Rob-
A formal warning is hereby issued to all individuals who inson. Jessie Richardson has exe-
are at present driving their jalopies minus the key; someone cuted Climes, and wigs «re by
r . ii_t_ t.       TViiiwlnu    Mn f>tlr Mnr , I
on this campus is in possession of one car key bought at the
Chinese Auction for ten cents. The identification of this
potential scoundrel has not yet been'made, but beware.
Among  other   sheer  give-aways
ALTHOUGH THE AUCTIONEER had trouble getting bids on the sweater alone at the
AMS Chinese Auction, bids came fast and heavy when first year Arts student Joan Pope
donned the article. Evidently Bruce Courlay, 1st year Forestry, and Brent Kenny, 1st Commerce, are under the impression that Joan comes with the sweater.       Photo by Hux Lovely.
Ignition Keys, Gloves, Scarves,
Old Pen-All Sold At Auction
purchased for the song of ten
tents was a Swiss wrist 'watch'* »n
good working cder. a lunch bucket
(pure tin) and one whole and
complete wlndsnleld wiper.
Despite the tact that the Mardi
Gras is over, a black sequin drena,
large size, went to -an eager young
man (a suspected engineer), while
n gitarnnted rain, snow, and alcohol-proof ski Jacket also demand-d
ilie price of ton cents though not
without sonic fast bidding.
A pair ol' running shoes brought
the urgent emery, "Who owned
them hist?" Hut the sale w-as made
in spite of the unanswerable question.
Strange and apparently useljs.»
Items such us one leather glove
and a pair of glasses sold at Hie
same price of ten cents as did an
evening purse complete with ei.g-
Deadline    for    nominations    forjnretle (:asei (.()n„mct  afljd  lipstick.
Total profit on yesterday's auction came to $5i>.70. There are still
many valuable buys such as fountain pens, text books and scarves.
Next auction will be announced.
COTC To Project
Rank Films Free
positions of treasurer, Junior member, sophomore member, president
of USE and co-ordlnator of activities Is 5 p.m., Feb. 11. Tliese positions will be voted on on Feb. 18.
CANDIDATES  SPEAK
Candidates on first slate speak
In auditorium at noon Feb. 2.
Second slate candidates apeak In
auditorium Feb, !) at noon. Third
slate candidates get their chance
to impress student body during! Two J. Arthur (tank films' are
noon hour Feb. 16. | being   presented    free   of   charge
At   least   ten   members   of  AiMS' by  the COTC.
must sign each nomination.   These)     Outpost In  Malaya, a  full length
nominations will be posted on Stu- 'feature,   will   be   presented   Thurs-
dent f'nunc 11  Bulletin board. j day in Physics 200 at 12:30 p.m.
Ballots may be cast at Brock; High Treason, a second British
Hall, Quail, Library, Bus Stop, Kn-'lllui, will be -liown later in the
gineering building, and Biological series, This film will be shown
Sciences building. Klection.s will; in Physics 20n on Thursday. Fob.
be by preferential voting. ! IL'.
Costly Taxi Fares
Bill Brown and Stan Katz, odi
tors of the Sheaf, the University
of Saskatchewan student paper,
have resigned becauses the Student I Crestes
Douglas   MacGregor.
Cast for "The Agamemnon" are
following: Clytemnestra, Doreen
Odling; Agamemnon, Robert Woodward; Cassandra, Doris Chlllcott;
Algisthos, Harold Dyck. Chorus
and other characters, Charles Ferguson, Patrick Thomas, Tom Short-
house.
Cast for "The Choephoroe" ar*:
Bruce    Olfford    Electra,
Council  refused to pay their taxi
fares.
The remaining staffers have decided to stay on In their present
positions,
A feature writer will take over ai
editor of tiie ittiper.
Socreds Hypocritical,
UBC Party Leader Claims
"Social Crediters are the greatest hypocrites ever to come
onto the Canadian political scene," said Vaughan Lyon at
Thursday's Liberal-Social Credit debate.
Principles   which   Social   Credit.s> ,	
Is advocating are an actual men
McFaul: Clytemnestra and Algisthos, as In "The Agamenon; chorus
and other characters, Betty Vogcl,
Roger Mossop, Ernie (arson.
.Margaret Baxter, Ann Wootlan, j solved.
Hve Grantham, Moya Martin, All-j
son Lelterman, Valerie Ciarstln.      !
ance to our democratic way of lite
itself, said the campus Libera'
party vice-president. He continued,
"The Liberal Government ha,s
learned from the mistakes of the
list and have now taken the lea 1
In promoting international co-operation and collective action."
ANTI-UN
Social Credit, on the other hand,
he charged, supports the UN only
insofar as It is a loose union and
unable to enforce Its decisions
effectively.
This anti-UN -attitude he attributed to strong British Israelite
forces within Social Credit whloh
feel that the British Commonwealth is the "Chosen People" and
must not be subverted to a greater
world movement like the UN.
■10  LIE
He referred to Social Credits
demand for credit control as tho
"big Ue" since the federal government has had this control since
the twenties.
He concluded by reference to the
"antl-semltic history" of the Social Credit Party, claiming that
while favorable economic conditions do not warrant finding a
scape-gout now they would not
hesitate to do so In the event of
economic reversals.
BRING HONESTY
Social Credit wlil bring "honesty
In government" to the Canadian
political scene, retorted- Roy
Trimble, president ot the UBC Social Credit Club.
Evils of depression are due to
"underconsumption,'' he explain
ed, and while Liberals have alleviated this condition by public works,
producer subsidies, and social security,    the   problem   is   still   u;i-
Filmsoc Reel
Shows Scott
In Antarctic
"Scott of the Antarctic," In Technicolor, will be presented next
Tuesday by Film Society. Three
continuous showings will start «t
3.45, 6.00 and 8.15 in Auditorium.
Regular admission price of 25 cents
for students and staff only will
prevail.
There will be no Tuesday noon*
hour showing on Jan. 27, but eerie!)
will resume on Feb. 3.
Fllmsoc's 5th annual screen
dance will be held Saturday, Feb.
7 from 8 to 12 p.m. in Brock Hail.
Tickets will be 91 per couple advance, or $1.25 at the door. Dance
in the dark to the music of famous
"Name" bands as they are projected on a giant screen especially
erected for the purpose.
Financiers Will
At Commerce
Frolic
Formal
Annual Commerce Formal is to be held .on Feb. 6, at Cavo
supper club, officials report.
For this famous social event commercemen, in a fit of generosity, have condescended to invite campus, on a first-come,
first-served basis.
Totem Needs Info
On Shy Students
Will people listed below please
bring the following Information for
use In the Totem, to the Totem
office. In the north basement of
rock Hall, ae eoon as possible.
Information   necessary   Is:    full
Five dollars can bring lucky stu-
dints entertainment, food, dancing,
and company of commercemen.
lu previous years the Commerce
Formal   has   been   swamped   with
happy patrons. They have enlarged
our event and received  rights for
exclusive use of the Cave-.   ('US is'name; Identification number; home
actually   subsidizing   the   event   so! «-It>-: tbe subjects in which you are
that  non-commercenieti  can  afford;
to come and  see  how  the
crust" lives.
Students who have not. yet
bought their tickets had better run
over to some business-like coin-
merccmaii and get them right away.
SOMERSET PRODUCTION
Greek Plays Exciting, Absorbing
honouring, majoring, or specializing; the clubs, sports or teams in
upper | w|,iB|, you are participating; the
student offices you hold this year,
and those you have held other
years (please give dates); and the
fraternity or sorority of which yon
are a member.
If the Totem office Is locked,
please put the information In th«
slot, beside the door, marked
"Motlcos for the Ubyssey".
CHARGES CORRUPTION
He charged that Liberal Party
has become corrupt and that people huve lost control of their
country. "When such conditions
arise a new party must take over,
be it Conservative, CCF or Soctal
Credit,"   he   concluded.
John Murdock drew a parallel
between Liberal club executive and
the Soviet Politburo, where one
person speaks for all. "Liber.'.'
party has joined the ranks ot
those who have forgotten to serve
the people," he said.
QUEBEC FASCISM
Quebec, he charged is the core
of the Liberal party. "Why don't
they fight fascism there?" lie
asked. "Quebec Is the outstanding
example of fascism today and yet
the Liberals say nothing of that."
"We fight antl-semitlsm as a
denioci-atic party and will lead oi;'
any members who do not,' he
promised.
MacKenzie Speaks
At UN Conference
Begins Tomorrow
Regional conference, on campus
Saturday, will be attended by tenders In labor, Industry, church,
press, education.
Conference will Ve attended by
lepregentativeir from all parts of
the West Coast to discuss the
achievements and problems ot the
UN and what can be done by the
individual for peace.
PRESIDENT
UUC's president, Dr. MacKenzie,
will be the keynote speaker. He
will address the conference on
"Negotiation Must Supplant Fighting."
Panel discussion on the keynoto
topic will be given by Prof. L. A.
Mander and D. G. Hitchner of the
University of Washington. Prof.
F. H. Soward and David Cor bet t
of UBC.
OTHER  SPEAKERS
Other speaKers Include Anna
Sprott who will speak on "Increasing public Interest in the UN."
Work groups on police action In
Korea, problem of disarmament'
accomplishments through negotiation, labor and the UN, UN and
schools' will be pari of tho conference activities.
Lament
Little Artsmen, busy, busy,
In an intellectual tizzy,
Completes the academic orbit —
Shame there's no time to absorb it.
—S. NMIoc
By GERRY WEBB
One of the most, exciting and
absorbing evenings of theatre
enjoyed in those parts iu th"
last Severn 1 years took place
last night in the I'niversity Auditorium.
Aeschylus' tragedies "The Ag-
cniemnoti" and "The "Choephoroe.' part of the Oeresteia t.ri-
ology, were given an almost professional production by the Department of Knglish. Miss Dorothy Somerset and her cast.
As' Clyteniuestra Doreen Od
ling gave a superb performance.
Ilea    voice   ami   bodv   movements
being beautifully controlled. She
( rented and projected a character of heroic size.
PERFECT  FOIL
As Agamemnon Mob Woodward was a perfect foil, b.ith iu
voice ami strength of character.
Doris Chillcott. played Cassandra with insight, handling the
problem of remaining motlonles <.
yet not breaking character with
constimute skill.
As Aigistlios Harold Dyck
i rented a powerful character in
his first performance. The mens
chorus, although uneven at
limes,    used    exciting   specli    pal-
i .Tit
TOO   WINSOME
In the Choephoroe, Maidn McFaul as Fleetru, perhaps too
winsome and lacking iu heroic
size, gave a line performance,
while lliiu-e (llfford as Orestes,
while still this side of heroic,
was more than adequate.
Of Ihe two plays, the Choephoroe was the weaker. The ad
tors did not. fully realize the
classical proportions of the
piece
ARTS: Shirley Howell, Elizabeth
.1. Ilrown. Marlone K. Huckle, Harold Timothy P.ush. Florence Janet
Caple, Rosalie (llunvllle, Mruce Lee,
Sliiela F. MeGlvern, Jnme.s D. Mac-
Intyre. Norman Murdoch -MacLean,
Stanley   Hue   Mei-son.   Robert   A.
'TWEEN CLASSES
Girls, Youngsters Needed By Club
For Square Dancing in Gymnasium
DANCE   CLUB   square   dancing, important  meeting.
In girls' gym today, noon. Girls are [ if,       if.       if
j asked to attend to even up the ARCTIC VEGETATION will b»-
surplus of boyn; people under 21 ; topic of a speech by Dr. John
are especially requested to attend; Walton,    professor   of   botany   at
to  train   for  future   competition.
if,        if        if.
MUSIC   APPRECIATION   CLUB
will   present   Rach's   Rrandenbur*
Concerto   Number   One  <and   Man
However, its
>lh iu stage
iceeli    pattern-
women s chorus
movements and
v- a -;   •■lipeijalive.
Miinday, Kobert A. Miinday, Robert  eel's  Concerto   for   harpsichord
Ian   Strang,    W.    Rosso   Sundmer.   Club   Room,   Hrock   Hull
William  11. Topping, Walter  David; on  Friday, January  23.
Traftou. R. J. Wilson.
APPLIED SCIENCE:  William L.
f Inglis,   Robert (!.   Ilrodie,  John   M.
Warren.
AGRICULTURE:   Nancy   Joan
Northrop, I'. A. Ritchie.
COMMERCE:     John     W.    Long.
Robert   C.  Tapp.
FORESTRY:   David   1.    Midlines.
HOME EC: June K. Kirk.
PHARMACY:   Raymond K. Colin-
sell.  I'atricia   I!, -firmly.
in
Glasgow    University.    Dr. Walton
will   speak   In   biological sciences
building.   Room   HHi,   on Monday.
2fi at 8 p.m.
V *r *P
ATTENTION     SPANISH     STU-
at   noon | DENTS:   "Locttra   de  amor,''   first
I entirely Spanish  film to be shown
¥        if        if* in Vancouver,  Monday, J-.tnuary 2»i
PRE-MEDS   present   film   "Peri   at   S:30  p.m.   in   West   Point  Grev
cardial Resection" Friday, 2:1, noon ; Legion   Hall,   3079   W.   Broudwnv.
in  Physics 202. [ Admission   "or  students   7.K-.  Tick-
if        if        if ets available at  Fort Camp dlnliv,
REDSKINS    RUGGER    reorgan   room.  Friday. 3:30-5, or at door.
Ization.   All   those   interested   ine.-t
iu Stadium Friday, 23 at. 12:30.
if if if
PUBSTERS   MEET   noon   today,
Friday,   23,   ill   the   pub  offices.   All
pointers   -
*       ¥       ¥
SOCIAL     PROBLEMS     CLUB
membership meeting will tie held
Monday, Janurry 20 in Arts |n|.
All  those  Interested -(ire  invited   to
asked    lo   attend   tin-    attend. Page 2
THE   UBYSSEY
Friday, January 23, 1953
TBE UBYSSEY     /new*
Commerce Cartoons
MEMBER CANADIAN UNIVERSITY  PRESS
Authorized us second class mall, Post Office Department, Ottawa,
Student subscriptions $120 per year (Included In AMS fees).. Mall subscriptions
$S!.00 per year. Single copies five cents. Published throughout the Unlveralty yoar by
the Student Publications Board of the Alma Muter Society, University or British
Columbia. Editorial opinion" expressed herein are those of the editorial staff of the
Ubyssey, and not necessarily those of the Alma Mater Society or of the University.
Offices In Brock Hall
Phone ALma 1624
For display advertising
Phoqe ALma 3258
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF   JOE SCHLESINGER
Exeeutlve Edlter, Ed Parke* Feature Editor, Elsie (Jorbat; City Kditor. Myra Green;
News Editor, Ron Sapera; Women's lOditor, Flo McNeil; Literary Editor, Oalt Elklngton;
CUP Editor, Patsy Byrne; Circulation Manager, Marlon Novak; Editorial Assistant,
Vaughan Lyon; Staff Photographer, Hux Lovely.
Chief Punk this issue  p,n Peteo
Sidekicks: Harvey King, Tom Shorter; Deskmon: Anleo Brlcknian; lteportors: Joliann
Stroyva, Ray Legcre; Feature Reporter: Valeric (larstln.
Honi Soit Qui Mai Y Pense
While the police were getting in on the
act in the Avon Theatre, pornographic magazines were being sold right across the street
to anyone old enough to wield a dime.
It is incongruous that the authorities,
so squeamish about banning these out and
out "lust" magazines lest they be accused of
suppression, should be so eager to "clean up"
a play that has become a modern classic. The
only possible explanation lies in the fact that
the stage is still stuck with a stigma of indecency as a relic of the Puritan age.
It seems that the law enforcing agencies
have not yet caught up with the modern
methods of transmission of immorality. They
do not realize that an imaginatively contorted
nude, even if only two dimensional, is more
lewd in effect in the hands of a ten year old
than anything that could be staged in the
viray of "torrid" scenes for an adult audience,
VThe recent debate in the House of Commons about the suppression of filthy literature proves that, while members of parliament are quite aware of the seriousness of
the problem, they find themselves quite unable to cope with it.
We are faced on the one hand with a cancerous spread of literature that is being
brought on the market solely to cater to the
baseness of the frustrated, and on the other
hand with the danger that the judiciary, in
whose hands the? enforcing of present regulations has been entrusted, will interpret the
Plugged Nickle
Now that flssay-writincj lime is lien- lor all yci
little beavers, a few woriL ol advice might be in
order (In order to fill up the hide in this panel.
As you are- probably aware, the word "essay
is derived from the French "essayei" to try; and
ure trying!
Many of you will, at this point, no iloubi. wonder
what my (nullifications In this field may be. Tbii
is none of your business. Vou don't pay for Ibis
paper, and if you don't like it. you can read the
cutHNlflecls.
To begin with, your essay will be much easier if
you know how to pick. This is a truism which applies throughout, life: to a mate, to locks, and to
your none. In this case you must learn to pick an
obsi.tirp subject, something your murker will not
know too much about, something like "A Com
patlson of llin Characters of Laertes and the Third
WiKb  in   Macbeth.'
Having chosen vour subject early you will now
rush over to the Library and take out every book
on Shakespeare. To avoid trouble with librarians,
vou might enlist Hirer or four englueer.-i to take
out about l'ive books each for you. They-will not
mind'doing Ibis, once you explain to ihem what
llii» library Is all about, where II is. etc., and il will
make It less einbarassinj; for you to take out twenty
or thirty  books at  a  time.
Y<w have now cornered all available works of
Sbnk»\spr;ire. This is important for il assures thai.
while you may not cau.ae a senailiou iu .Shakespearian research, no one will be able lo write a
belter essay.
Vou are now ready for step number two. which
rmslsts of (,'oinn lo Hie nearest standard reference
work and looking u|> Laertes. Vou will copy Ibi.i
word for word, otuiltlnu all tell-tale evidences of
plagiarism like: I.AFRTI'N, b. l.'iUl, d, ir.«:i; pron
lcuhrtls.   SFK  ALSO  t.'NDKR (1RKAT  DAXK*
This will form the body of your essay. Do nol
worry too much about the witches. Cse your imn-;-
illation. W'lio were you out with last Saturday
night,   for  example.
Er.say now need:; to be trimmed and .narni-died.
Tbin is done by lakinu your twenty hooka on Shake
.-ipearo ami, blindfolded, openinr, each to what Hie
radio quiz shows call "Ihe lucky pa.ne." From each
Hitch page select one .eiit.cnce of sufficient va-j;aie
iic«m to fit ill almost anywhere; as, for example:
'Shakespeare's Iambic Pentameter may be re.i;. id -d
a-i  a  direct   progression  from   the   Druid   dirge."
Sprinkled liberally lliroughoiil the text o| your
essay, these will give Ihe impression of m hie and
intensive research.
A   foreign   limitation   is   almost   a   lleies-iily      Since
few markers know their 11 imlii-.taui from a Can
lonesfi dialect, tin-- i- another field where you cuu
gel away with murder. Almost auv io vigii still'!'
will  do  nicely:   a  Heinian  cook-book,  an  old   Freiie'i
law with a narrow mind to embrace everything not enveloped in a turtle-neck collar.
There remain, however, two criteria which
would reduce the problem. First, consideration should be taken of the merits of the
material in question. This, however, would
probably necessitate the elevation of literary
critics to the level of censors, a situation they
would certainly not relish. Another objection
to such a scheme is the fact that the critics
are more reliable as men of hindsight than
foresight.
In spite of all these objections, however,
there remains one feasible" aspect to the consideration of material on merit. It would
primarily exclude the worst of those literary
masterpieces which are created solely for
their pornographic appeal. The final step,
then, is to see that the remaing objectionable literature be kept out of the hands
of children.
One thing remains clear. A standard of good
or bad taste cannot be set purely on the depth
of a decolletage, length of skirt or strength of
embrace. Contrary to appearances, sex was
not invented in the 20th century. Humanity
seems to have been able to cope with sex in
inilleniums gone by. If the present preoccupation with sex is to be turned into its normal
channels, we shall also have to wean ourselves from the tendency of regarding sex as
the unmentionable side of life.
In other words, we shall have to grow up.
the Uitcf
ffevertmi Worritd
Kditor, the Ubyssey,
Dear Sir:
May I jmihb on tin oxtperlonce to
your readers. I wan in a home,;
Ihe young couple—both graduates
of UBC, with their first child
The lady mild to me, 'It would be
very nlco if you would give the
baby It* name."
1 replied, "1 baptize in the Nanio-
or The Father, The Son, und The
Holy Ghost.
"Vou gave the child its name
when you registered at the Gov
liniment office here.
"If you are both willing to dedicate your baby to Ood in baptism—and bring it up in tho
nuture and admonition ot the
Lord—I will gladly perform this
service for you."
The young mother replied, "We
don't believe In Ood."
Yours truly,
city Clergyman.
LOOKING  BACK
by franck
(irniumnr. etc I have found that one can raise
es-ay marks al least |u per cent by including a
foot now- like In tliL regard M. (•ournoyerouxvill--
observes 'Le livrc est sur la  table'."
Finally, when your essay is thus completed, you
must draw up a PLAN. Kvery marker knows that
von can't write an essay without a plan. HE can'',
so how can anyone else? In this mutter it is bent
to humour hlm. il i.s only a small amount of
trouble to draw up one of Hie fool-things on the
basis of your essay, so you may as well do It. I'
is best not to follow the actual oMHuy too closely
In iIn- forged plan so us not to arouse suspicion.
I'hin .should be constructed In simple, symmetrica' headings; this:
HOW TO  STUFF  OWLS
I. 'I lie I 'peliing Night
A.   Insides Out
!.   Have you  left nnythiin?
:'..  I lave yini anything left'.'
II.   Hillsides   lu
I.   I'Valhers
L'.  Sawtlu■■'
::.  Mud
I.   Carrol   lop-,,
C.   Sewing  II   l'|i
I.   With Hi. cad
:'.   Whore   are   your   gla.-ctea?
!.   Itc-opeiilng the owl  to find glaflscK.
II, l-'iuer Points
A    Inserting    Hooter   So   Owl    Will    Hoof    When
Slomai-li   Pressed
I. Owls don't say Mama
1'.  Children say  Mama
•'!.   Welt uni   Owls.
P..  Opening lOyes of Owl  i'unlets* shot at night I
('.  Twisting Owl's Pace Into "That  Wise Look"
III      Mopping l'|i
A.  Try  to Kliniinate the Smell
I.  I, it difficult"
'J.   Is   it   the  Owl'.'
'■'..  Is   il   you'.'
H.   Seli-eling New   Purnil lire  for  Vour  Homo
I V.      1 si's of  I lie  ' )wl   iu  Society
A.   lu High Society
1.   P.riilge prize
".  Charily  ha'/aar
::.   As  a   hat
I     \ ;  i door slop
a.   I'm   I he  ga rba",e can
I!,   in   Low   Society
I.   \o   Uses.
C.    Museums
V.    Conclusions
A     What   Have   Vou   I Nine'.'
H.    Ilou    Ho   Vou   Keel'.'
C     Ilou    Hoes   Ihe   Owl   Peel"
I     Pine"
'..'.   Sniffed'.'
"    With   lis finger-tips?
TYPING: ESSAYS, THESIS,
Notes, expertly and promptly
typed. Moderate rutes. We use
Campbells' book of rules, Blakey
und Cook's, and Essay Specifications by the Dept. ot Applied Science. Serving students since 194'!.
Mrs. A. 0. RoblnBou, 1180 W 11th
Avenue. AL. 0015R. (66)
TYPING: ESSAYS, THESIS,
manuscripts, mimeographing. El-
olse Street, No. 7 Dalhousle Apts.,
University Blvd. AL. 0655R. (CG*.
FRENCH WEAK? COACHING
In grammar and conversation by
former UBC lecturer. Past successes with students. Reasonable
rates, University area. Phone
Mrs. Le Gall, AL. 098-1L. (42!
TYPING — ESSAYS, THESES,
notes, etc., Mrs. M. Dewar, 1716
Dunbar, CH. 5481. Material may j
be picked up Monday Tuesday
nnd Thursday lu Pre-Med Hut at
12:1111 by Alan lleach. • (44)
CHEMISTRY    COACHING.    EV-
cry  student   I   couched   last  year
' passed.  Arthur   Llctzo.  AL.   1517.
\M:> West Ot!t. (»21
LOST: HROWN I1RIBK CASIO
from Admin. Hldg. Two texta,
clip board and notes. Please return notes a( least to Lost and
Pound.  (ILen.   HilIMM. V'n
LOST. VICINITY OP ACADIA
Camp, chain type dog colar wit i
Vancouver lag for P.Pi-' No. HUH'!.
Return   to   SliS.'i  Toronto   ltd.   AL.
IL'S-'Y. <".!>! i
I
:•   PAIRS   IMPORTED   Norwegian j
(,'lyniple  team   model   skis,   brand |
new,   roady   to   go'   for   Mb.    .Iii-.-l
VVblat, 1117, RIO, Port Camp.    (Ill ;
EXPERIENCED       I'A II IS I A N j
teacher, Just back from Paris, has ]
Prencb    diploma.     Will    Instruit
University    students    in    Prenc.'i.
Phone   Madame   Juliette   Kra-iei-,
CE.  :'.liJ2.  2i»2(i  W.   Pith. (4.11
WANTED RIDE PROM VilCIN
ity Ifltb and Cnmblc for S::in',i.
PA.  7!>:iS|{. CIS)
WANTED RIDERS PROM tilth
mill Dunbar, S:",u, .Mon. to SaC
Phone CE. !t:;tis. (lui
I  MAHOGANY COLORED CHAP
pie.    initials    ll.VV.T.    Clip-board,
texts ami notes plus stamp collei
lion.    Kinder  coulacl   R.   Dtaydon
at  AL. II!)!):.. I UN)
A RIDE POP SHiu's, Monday - Pri-
da.v from the vicinity of 4t.li Ave.
and Vine St., or Cornwall and
Yew St,, phone CE. 5-~>71. ill!)
5 YEAR8 AOO—1948
Judge W. B. Beals, member of
the US Military Tribunal which
presided when Goerlng, Hess und
other high-ranking German war
criminals were tried, addressee
students at UBC . . . Four UBC*'
puckchasers picked for ullstars
of Vancouver League: Terry Nol-
ford, Hass Young, Hugh Berry,
and Fred Andrew . . . Bird hoop-
sters lose to Idaho 63-42.
10 YIAR8 AOO—1943
UBC  closes six  days   to  ease
fuel shortage.
15 YEARS AOO—1931
UBC Political Discussion Club
organized . . . Varsity Volley-
bailers bow out to YMCA 15-9,
15-:i, 15-0.
as;
HELP WANTED
Cheerful domesticated female
rtudent, fond of children undent-
melee, with at least two or three
free afternoons and evening
wanted for regular employment
in university area. AL. 3200.
UNIVERSITY STUDENTS
Available for Part-time Employment
PHONE U.B.C. PERSONNEL OFFICE
ALma 1191—Local 117
WBl&HT
A. MISSING LINK (Postgraduate Zoology)
50yi: "It's </ good idea to be properly equipped
for the type of work you're doing."
" There's no better financial equipment for a
successful career than a savings account
at
tp I Willi)* fllWWI
(DP
Bank of Montreal
Your Bunk on the Campus . . .
In the Auditorium Building
MERLE C. KIKBY,
Malinger.
WOUKINO  WITH   CANADIANS  IN   EVERY   WALK   OP   11 F I    S I M C t ri
  tr '52
wwmammmmmmmm^mmmmmmmmmimmmmfmrwmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
TO 1953 GRADUATES
Procter and Gamble
Offers rapid advancement1 for the right men
to positions in the following fields
Sales Management
Office Management
Advertising Management
Personnel Administration
Representatives of the Company will he on hand iu  HI IT M(» on January
27th at   12:11(1  p.m.  to outline  to atl  those  interested  the  opportunities   for
advancement with
PROCTER AND GAMBLE
PERSONAL INTERVIEWS CAN BE ARRANGED AT THAT TIME Fridiy, January 23, 1953
TH1   i/BYSSEY
Page S
COMMERCE
£dution.     *■
Commerce Editors Glen MacLaren, Don Moffitt
t^^m^mj
"Doncha know ALL the Big Wheels take Commerce"
Commerce  Women | Examinations
Becoming Numerous
Herkimer's Comments
Or Commerce Capers
Editor's Note.—Herkimer is a sincere young Commerce-
man who believes in two things; Brock coffee and Mr. Wong.
He believes in these because he always goes to coffee instead
of Finance Class.
Item I
"Garbage disposers are banned
in New York because they are ton
handy a tool for the disposal ot
bodies." The Commerce Schooi
has ordered one gross of them to
dispose ot Coium 151 Btudents In
April.
Com. Banquet
On March 5
Thin year the Commerce Ban-
quel is being held on March 5. \s
<n previous years a business mall
is beiug invited for each Commerce
Student attending.
Speaker this year is to be Mr.
Maxwell McKenzle, noted business
man and speaker. Lyle Alliens 13
the student organizer for this event
which promises to be one ot th?
best yet.
Further inquiries should be made
through the School of Commerce.
There are twenty-five money-minded (or mad) girls on
this campus—all in Commerce, naturally! As would be expected,
the girls are a little outnumbered—fifteen to one to be exact.
However, it is evident that the girls are able to "hold their
own". *-
Judging by the positions last
year's grads now hold, opportunities- look promising for girls with
a D. Comni. Not-en Mitten assesses
Income taxes, Mary MacLean Is In
the document section of MacMillan
nnd Bloedel Ltd., Theo Gyle* is
*> pension statistician with William
Mercer Ltd. Diane Elworthy Is In
the payroll ot Island Tug and
Barge Ltd., and Gloria Newell was
with the accounting department of
Woodward Stores Ltd. before her
marriage.
FEMININE   INTEREST  HIGH
the basic Commerce courses some
background training in foods, textiles, design, or interior decoration.
Commerce and Teaching is one
of the newest options and Is' steadily gaining popularity. Students
entering this option are required to
choose a teaching major additional
to Commerce, for example, English
or  Social   Studies.
SECRETARIAL INSTRUCTION
Students must show evidence of
proficiency in typing and shorthand before the academic certificate  will  be given by the Provin-
There are several commerce op- cial Department of Education. In-
tlons which are of particular In- struction In these courses as well
terest to girls Commerce and as secretarial practice is given in
Home ttconomlcs is designed tor the School of Commerce through-
students who wish to combine with out the winter session,
Commerce Cartoons
One . . . Two . . . Three . . . Then Pull The Buckle
Til        .:£,
It's getting so you can't call anything you OWN these days.
mw..
la.	
<-/■'■ -
:\
5
Va'.i;iK^;i)i!p-»igr;iSl!'
,u,Mm„ -ait- - -•inl|l|,«.>-.iiuii
inn-
•"all       «" «in-?S" r.,-..»J
W~  . --.        -'•■'■■ '...:'Hlft.ii.      . -  ■"«■   ■•"•
r.at-.!l|lll;
MJS'iiiW..- ii
r..,„il»Kii;i!'"l
I     i)£Wf'l.KY
£g5M
F*    "%■;,
«'ll   „
Not Too Hard
(With apologies to the unknown
person who first wrote a column
like this).
After   hearing  a   few   (?)   complaints that the exams outside of
Commerce were too hard I decided
to make a survey. Here are a few
of the easy questions I found on
other  faculties'  papers.
ENGLISH 100-101
(One question on  the exam)
1 Underline the correct word:
a  I (ain't twern't) going.
STATISTICS
1 Draw a graph showing the life
expectancy of an African Duni Dum
Bird.
2 Is the X-axls of German descent?
Suggested time for each of these
exams Is 48 hours.
Continued on  Page 4
Item   II
"Where's that beef surplus?" Obviously the writer of this astounding statement has never looked at
either the Commerce Women oi
the Mardi Gras Chorus Line.
Item   III
"More  and  More Young  People
etc" Thank you Mr. Fields.
Item IV
"Smooth Shovelling." Once again
the  Financial  Post is running an
article on our professors.
Item V
"You can't Halt Progress." No,
you certainty can't, Just look
a round you. Thirty years of progress at UBC or From the Fairvlew
Shacks to the Commerce Shacks.
Item VI
"Hemarkable    Progress    Made."
Yes,   Mr.   (iourlay   has   made   all
sorts of It hasn't he?
Item VII
'University Expenses Climb.''
The director Is off to Bunff for
two weeks.
Tr\   NOT to look TOO obvious
E ATO N S   £2yfc* ;StW^fr
Walking right out of your favourite fashion magazines . . .
this new exciting dress creation with the 8 full yards of
swishing skirt. Fashioned from rustling "Moonbeam" rayon
taffeta in warm pastel tones of blue, pink, rose or aqua.
Notice the new neckline treatment, the little bows at the
cuffs, the small stand-up ruffled collar. Sizes 11 to 17.
Another page from the fashion story in the Junior Size
Centre at EATON'S. 16.91
"Junior Is a Size Not an Age"
Junior Size Centre ■ Second  Floor
T EATON C
■   •   H M I I I '.'. H    I.OIUUBI*    ^^ I I M I I I 0 Page Four
THE   UBYSSEY
Friday, January 23, 1953
AL FOTHERINGHAM
Campus
Chaff
Hydraulie    T.    Square,    UBC's
nauseatlngly typical Engineer, hurried out of his Principle hermody
namics ot Philosophy class.
He rushed down the hall, Inv
ipolitely bowling ovter little Al
Hlcks and raced into the room
where he prepared for his one
happy moment in the long weary
day of an Engineer — reading the
Ubyssey.
Settling down to his lunch of
rock samples and mouldy engineering sweaters. T. 8quare grasped
the Ubyssey In sheer Joy.
This moment, three times a weak
when Hydraulic read the Ubyssey,
was a fleeting brief light In an
eight-hour tog ot formulae, drafting
tables and rehearsals of the Engineering song.
iut today Hydraulic saw something which made his heart beat
faster in his manly lttle chest and
caused his brain to throb harder
in his square little head.
The Engineers had been men
tlened In the Ubyssey.
Publicity Ytt
Now If there Is anything an Engineer loves, besides his log table
or a blind dote with a nurse, it's
publicity. Engineers will do fantastic things in order to obtain
publicity — even so tar as to travel
to Blrks clock.
The article Hydraulic's beady
little eyes had spied was a sidelight on Jimntp Sinclair's recent
speech on the campus. The article
did. not have a by-line on it, It factually reported an incident and a
quote by Sinclair.
But the Important thing to Hy
draulic was that It was publicity
tor Redshirts. And better still. It
gave promise ot still more publicity.
With gears clanking noisily In
side his cranium. Hydraulic finally
hit upon « plan ... a letter to the
editor . . . that will do it . . . we'll
show these Artsmen that an En
glneer can w.rlte nnd spell . . . er
. . . ah . . . wef! that thar language
1 we took back In high school.
Poor Hydraulic
Donning clothes which would
make hlm recognizable In outside
society. T. Square slunk out of the
Engineering building (the first
time lu three years) and set out
for the Pub office.
Aside from ti couple of freshettc;
mistaking hlm for one of the popular   molesters,   Hydraulic   had   no
trouble getting to the Pub. After
being greeted  with  the  usual  hysterical  laughter which characterises  any  Sclenceman's  entry  Into
the office,  he borrowed a Child';-.
Elementary   Dictionary,   sharpened
his  colored  crayon and  began  to
write in a primitive illegible scrawl j
handed down from prehistoric gen
eration to generation. j
Using the peculiar type of reasoning confined to Sciencemen. our
hero feebly protested in his message that that big bully 'Mr. Foth-I
relngliam" had ben picking on the
poor,     undernourished     Euglnee--v i
again. i
i
Literary Genius
He   hud   seen  «ui   article   in   the j
Ubyssey,  the article   bad  mentioned Engineers, therefore he assumed
Fotheringliani bad written it.
Proud   of   his   masterful   display.
of  deductive   logic,   Hydraulic   fur
tlvely slipped  hi* essay under  the
editor's   door   and   slunk   back   tithe   safety   of   bis   castle.
He    had    signed    the    letter    U
Chrlstophersoti.   4th   Yr.   App.   S.-.'
but    Hydraulic    T.    Squire    hadu t
fooled anyone.   » !
Everybody realized that no En-
glneer could have n name like
Christopherson. Why it was al i
most as ridiculous as Pothering
ham. People with names like Fotheringham and Christopherson uv"
Artsmen.
Welcome   home,   Iia.v.
Our Highflying Birds Play Central
St. Martins In Rugged Contest
Penn's Palate To See First Win
Large Crowds Are Expected
Thunderbirds should come back to lectures Monday morning with at least a split in their two week-end games.
Jack Pomfrets Birds open their ♦;  -
second    Evergreen    Conference      The UHC Hand. Mighty Mo Slut-
stand against the powerful Central  skv a,,d  half the camP«"  w111  be
Washington Wildcats Friday night  ,he,e- s0 liurrv' luilTV- hurrv-
In the War Memorial Gym. Satur-   —    —-        —	
Examinations
Continued  from  Page 3
Bill Hutchinson — Editor
Al Fotheringham — Associate Editor
CURRENTLY FIGHTING FOR a playoff spot in the Senior A loop, Dick Penn's Jayvees
play Royal Roads in prelim tonight at 6:15 in gym. Back row, left to right, manager Buck
Wellenbrink, Jack Shippobotham, Stu Mad ill, Jim Boulding, Gerry Kenyon, Jim Pollock,
manager Chuck Reid. Front, Ernie Kermode, Dick Climie, Eddie Crosetti, Mr. Richard Q.
Penn, Val Christie, Hal Rourke, Dune Shaw. —Ubyssey rhoto by Hux Lovely.
Femme Hoopsters
Split With Locals
By JAN CRAFTER
On January 19, the Varsity
Girls' Basketball team played
John Oliver High School and
the Thunderettes played Burn-
aby South. In the first game
the teams were fairly evenly
matched, but the Varsity girls
managed to outscore John
Oliver 22 to 19. Elma Gavin,
high scorer, and Fran Flett
played outstanding games.
In the second game the- "Thunderettes" didn't manage to hold
South Buinaby down and the score
| at   the   close   (if   the   game   was   ;',,S
| to 21   in  favor of the  High  School,
(llendn  Ikindcoi-k. an elusive player,   was  again   high   scorer  for  th"
! Thunderettes.  Sheila  Moore should
, aNo   be   commended   for   playing  a
fine game.
On January 2>i the Thunderettes
i meet  Chalmers, and Varsity  meets
I:.    M.    Clarke   in   the   Senior    A
GRINNING LIKE HIS NAMESAKE, Captain Danny
"Chimp" Oliver clutches the Miller Cup, presented yesterday by Dave Sprague, President of the V.R.U. to the
Champion Thunderbirds. -l.bys-ey Photo by Mux Lovely, i
League
day  night   UBC  plays host to  St.
Martins. j
Central Washington is rated j
right up there In the wide open
race for the Evergreen title, alon^
with Whltworth, Fasted! Washington and College of Puget Sound.
The young Wildcat squad surprised everyone by placing second
In the Conference last year and
they have 11 lettermen back who
will be trying to repeat the trick.
AN ALL-STAR
Leading the attack against the
Birds will be rangy Ken Teller,
1952 Evergreen All-Star centre. Teller is a transfer from Unlversty
of Wyoming and topped the Wild
cats scoring list last season.
13111 Baber, a hot shot forward
from Yakima, 1? another one who
is expected to give the Birds a
lot of trouble.
Birds should have an easier time
Saturday night St. M-artlns are-
not full Evergreen Conference
members and come to UBC with a
record of having a hustling club
who use a full-court press.
They almost upset Pacific Lutheran last week by using these tactics, losing by -a 41-42 margin.
ZAHARKO OKAY
j Birds will be at Pull strength
| for the games. Danny Zaharko's
ankle, badly twisted with Eastern
Washington, is fully healed ami
the skinny guard Is exposed to
play his usual steady game.
Birds will be strengthened with
the addition of Bob Hindmarch.
all-round athlete and hairy-chested
Mardi (Iras King. Hindmarch moves
up from tbe Jayvees.
The same Jayvees highlight the
opening game at ti:l.r> Friday nigh;,
meeting a tough squad from Royal
Roods College, Victoria. Kenny
Doolnn, Ronny Hillier. A! Borth-
wick, Don Spence. Bill Wilson and
the rest of the I'BC (lym Club will
give another of their remarkable
crowd-pleasing performances at
half time.
YAICA .Juniors, top minor league
team In Vancouver, meet South
Iiurnaby High at (1:15 in Saturdays'
prelim. A team from Our Lady of
Lout lies will provide half time entertainment. (
I HISTORY
1 Did  William Tell?
2 In what year was the Constipation Act of 102!) signed?
3 Name the sauce used at the
Diet of Worms.
4 When was Bismarck dropped
and did he bounce?
5 Trace the relationship between
Tallyrand and Sally Rand.
6 Was Robin a True Hood?
II PHY8IC8
(These questions were also given
to brighter Engineers).
1 Is an erg an after dinner ex
pression?
2 If two objects each weighing
100 lbs. are suspended on a 400 lb.
test rope from a horizontal plane
how far will Mt. Fuyljama move
in four years?
3 Would you like a drink?
4 Did the apple hurt Sir Isaac
Newton's head?
Black Given
Lassie Comes Home;
Brings Along Bacon
Eugene.   Ore.
I Exchangei
A dog named 'Climber' turned in
a lost wallet to the publications of
fic'<> of the University of Oregon
Dully   Emerald   Inst   week.
The dog. owned by a filth" yeai
architecture student, found the
billfold and brought it to his muster. The dug Hid his matter took
t lit* wallet ami turned it in to tic
lost .uni found.
The Sport Scene
Intra-Mural   Badminton   Doubles i Houih  Iiurnaby, February :!. Angll-
(Men)   on   Tuesday,   Jan.   27.   1!>5:J.   ,;in Coll.  vs.  Engineers "D".
7   p.m.   VOC   vi.   Coitun..   Tearheis -$-$•£
vs. Lambda Chi Alpha. Sigma Chi Varsity soccer squad will play
vs. N'orilt Iliirnaby. ZUT vs. P. K. Huntingdon on the upper field
Majors, Aggies vs. Architecture. Sunday at 2:-';u. This Is the same
.Meds vs. Clieih. Engineering. Sig; game which was cancelled last i
inn Alpha .Mil vs. D.V. Medio A vs. . week because of excessive dew
Pre-.Vied. 7: Hi p.m. Forestry v<. with CISC leading 3-1. The team
A.T.O., Phi licit vs. Alpha Dell is just starting to roll after the!;-
Phi. Recreation vs. Engineers, F\ eirly season slump and tht y would
('.imp vs. Xewiuan. Pharmacy vs. ! appreciate it very much If a I'-mv
r/.n» I'si. Kapna Sig vs. Beta. Psi spectators showed tip.
C  bye. i     Chiefs play  PMISV at  Kerrisdale
Fourth  Round of Singles.  7  p.m. ' I'ark  at  2  p.m.  Sunday.
Pearson    vs.    liulatovieli.   Shalinon
vs.  Clark.  Clay  vs.  Peltou.  Wilkinson    bye.    7: lu    p.m.    Semifinals;
S::in  finals.
Late entries  lor doubles allowed.   ^\    I   I        A t ■ j-. .r «-J|
but   Monday   noon   is   Hie   very   hit-   %*LiW      AWTfOlCI
est.   Check   ihe   list    lo   see   if   vou
, , , Harnett      Sedgewick       Mellioria
have 'i   team  •.•ntered.
Award   for   I!',")'!   has   been   won   by
*        *        * Mr. William Black. B.C. Citizenship-
"llealilf.s-a-poppin"     on     Friilay.' ,)l'I'il'1'1'   "•'   Ml,<   department   of   im-
Januaiy   :iu   at    7   p.m.   Come   o-i migration. *-"•
Intramural  girls and  all  others  in-       The award is presented annually1
teresled   and   turn   out   for   the   big '>>'   ll"'   Civil   Liberties   Cnlon   for '
show    iu   the   (iymnasiuni!    There outstanding    contributions    iu    the
will   In-   healthy   rel resliments.   lots l'i'''d   "!'  Civil   Liberties. j
of   healthy   gym   dust   and   loads   <<!        I)|'-    m'H(lk   '"''lures   at    Hie    I'm-
t'liu. There will be skits, a sing-son- versity    in    psychology   iu   addition
and   all   ihe   tricky   stunts   we   can •"  llis  vu,rk  I'"1' '"*'  federal govern-
invent '"out.
Tiie    prizes    are    really    wacky!        "''   ll:is   l"'1'11   active   many   year.,
So   nunc   and   a in   a   enk--   of   Life >"   promoting attivities of dll'ferei.t
hiioy     See    vou    there,    health    is 'nltmal   groups   in   Vancouver  and
really  going  to  pot e. |-(,p. ouililiouing    n.-w     immigrants    I ,
v, v v 1 In- I 'anadian  way of life.
A    former    u inner   ol    I he    a ward
LEAGUE  CHANGES is   t!i,,   well   known   Vancouver   <   »I -
■ I i una r\      :!ii     ( 'o.'n ne-: ee      1 i     Vh ■mini-.'    .lacn   S, ol t.

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