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The Ubyssey Feb 22, 1955

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volume xxxvin
Price 5c;
No. $2
ma Hvmftmc mots
Crabs Cavort In  Campus Cans
(Reprinted below are the
seconders' statements for third
slate candidates Al Thackray
and Al Forest. These statements were printed in the
wrong sections last  week.)
A position of responsibility
requires an individual with experience and ability. Allan
Thackray has both. He is chairman of the traffic committee
of OPEN HOUSE, a member of
the Commerce Liason committee, McGoun Cup debater. He-
was co-chairman of Frosh Week
at Victoria College and was on
the Homecoming committee in
his first year at UBC. Having
known Allan for seven years, 1
am confident of his ability and
know that he will make an excellent president of UCC and
Experience, energy, and en- j
thusiasm make Al Forrest the j
man for Second Member at'
Large on next year's Council.     ]
This year  Al,  a  second  year!
Artsman, is Public Relations Of-1     Today.'
ficer for the Literary and Scien-'
tific Executive, as well as being
a member  oi  the  executive   or
very active  in   the  three  clubs
to which he belongs.
Despite his active partlcipa-j
tion in these various groups, Ali
has constantly maintained a;
high   scholastic  standing.     Last
GREAT, GRIMY, GORY gobs of gooey-green eyed grabs terrified UBC's 5500 students
as they, no doubt celebrating the Engineer's Red Rendezvous at the Commodore Wednesday and Thursday, formed in phalanxes early this morning below The Thousand Steps and
marched toward  the campus chanting as they   went,   "Yes,   We   Have   No   Carbuncles
—Karsh Photo
We'll Get To Bottom
Of This' - Council
(the poor man's Ernie Pyle)
UBC's students were surprised by an attack from Ihs)
rear this morning as a horde or hungry crabs from Spanish
Banks attempted to devour all available meat on the campus.
Overwhelming the beautiful Point Grey campus in the cold
grey dawn, thousands of ferocius crustacean monsters swarmed
into all available nookies and crannies.
At least one faculty member ^aid it was a bum show.
Many students, especially those who were busy in the consumption .of brew in various city pubs Monday night, said they
were caught completely off guard — "with their pants down."
so to speak.
The crabs were first detected at 7:14 a.m. when Newton J.
McSlurp, Arts VIII, was attacked in a Brock hall rest room.
The cowardly beasts jumped me from behind," McSlurp, still
clothed in bandages in Wesbrook Hospital, fumed this morning,
i didn't, even have a chance to draw up my rear forces."
First casualty reported was at Anne Breastwork Hall where
freshette Astrophilia Slutchump, disappeared shortly after break'
fast. There were rumours that she, despondent when her sorority pin deflated her inflatable pneumatic lung-wort, flushed
herself down the toilet but informed sources said she was dragged
down by three panting crabs.
The faculty first became alarmed when it was reported
Johnny Owen, custodian of athlete's intimate garments, was
brutally eaten alive by a group of the unscrupldus anus-annibals.
They didn't even bother to spit out the loose change which Johnny
always carried in his pockets.
There is absitlvely and posilutely no truth to the rumour
that the crabs will infest the Commodore Wednesday and Thursday nights.
Rapaciously Feb.23-24\™ ALL GENUINE REDSHIRTS
The o()th Annual Engineer's Ball, "The Red Rendezvous."
year he-was  a "dynamic  mum    tU'l''a'l,H'c' ^>  many as the top social event of the university
ber   of   Parliamentary   Forum.) calendar year, takes place Wednesday and Thursday nights at
Radio Society, and  was.  in  ad-'the Commodore Cabaret, '.*  -  *-
dition, a part-time reporter for . -   ■ ^^ ■
The Ubysscv. |     Main attraction lor both nights* |k| f^s»ee\a,g.
The position  of Second  Mem"'111 bv l,u' il,tlki,u' "»d '™H    |XU      WlClDS
ber   at   Large   demand,   an   j/atmg  workup  models delayed1
dividual who is willing to worl-
liai'tl   on   cl,i\    tu   dav    ioIis   Hi,i
bring littlt- glorv      Al  lonriol   i
perfect for the .job
Noon   today   in   the   Auditor
HMKF       CfiMMITTFF     h" ''co.-o   mimiw-r   nf   .lift...1 inm."     This   is   a   must   tor   all
At Pep
hy Iho \ armus ciicmeering flubs.
( <\- cm! 11- o Mia! delightful device
Ihe k loo n meter'' will he m
wnrkieg order establishing ac
coptance talitigs for even the
si I v e- i     t wi (Mime.- '
Ki'niii   all   reports,    there   w ill i
[ i .
be   a    record   number   of   slide-jlum
rule-    and    mechanical    pencils ) Engineers.
gathering   duM   these   oext    two!     This year the   Engineers have
evenings.   Come  on   fellows,   get. ' been called upon  to  uphold  the
The Open House Committee     m,°   the   whirl   of   this   formal j »anie   of   the   university   in   the
needs  workers  this  afternoon     dance  and   join the annua!  trek! field  of  Drama   and  Literature.
to     help    distribute     posters.     Iu  ll"'  Commodore.   Tickets  can j      Up   to   this   point   the   Engin-
cards   advertising   OPEN     'H' '"'""I11   from class presidents j cers   have stood quietly by and
HOUSE.    All can  be accomo
dated.      Apply.    Open   Ilousi
Office,    upstairs    above    Uu
AMS. Brock Hall.
The 1955 edition ol the "SLIPSTICK" promises to be
j the biggest and best annual ever published by the engin-
| eers of UBC. Thanks to the overwhelming support of the
i Engineers, Nurses, and Architects, sales and advertising
j     revenues have reached a record high.
i Once again t he "bad boys of the campus" have proved
j     that spirit, organization and ordinary superiority are handy
|     tilings to have-.
i The "SLIPSTICK" still needs activity pictures though.
so anv   ot  you  amateur  photographers   with   pictures  ot   a
pratfall   at   a   party,   a   sluvei nig   frosh,   or  oven   a   trip   to
Ciroiise Mountain,  turn tlieiti in to Hoom oOO and  let  then)
;      he recorded loi; posterity
'tween clotMf
tor $:') a couple
j watched   these   half baked   Arts
NES to Interview
Male Students
Service will interview men
Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and women Wednesday
and Friday afternoons in HM6.
v        *r        *p
GIRL'S   SKI   CLUB   meeting
in Women's Gym common room.
Wed . 12:30 to make plans lor
ihe trip to Stevens Pass next
¥       #       *
Model   and   lablc   decora! ions i men   waste   theirs   and   and   the!
The subjects  of the  pictures can   be   men.  women  oi
pubsters, but if an Engineer is in them, made them, or took     i *-■   A>Ts   104.  Wednesday,  noon.
•        if* )(. 9tt
them,—we want  them. -..,-     ««-.- -
will inyite Mr. Isaac, to speak
about Alexis Tolstoy, noon today in Arts 204.
*P *P *\»
The   CRITICS   CIRCLE,   thc
new Frosh literary society, will
'roof that ALL organizations are cooperating in making  meet In the Faculty Club lounge
Trained   Killers   Put
Ding-Dong   In   Show
judge will be Dr   L. W   Sheinilt, ! spectators   time   and energy
Mr..  I,   U    Kersev  and  Professor ' _ i   .,,.,,      , . ■ »    i
DRAMA NURSED the Red Rendezvous ts usual stupendous success came today
Now, the fine arts group has! when Royal Roads Canadian Services College, Victoria, enter
ic   W    Vermin.
Mather's   Nightcap
ed an exhibit in the model competition.
Not to stop you. be
ys, but.
"My    foolish   paronls
mc  to read  and   write.'
TIAL, titi  A I).
"We   learn   not   in   sc
in   life."   SENECA.   -1   1
'Anyone     who     has
through  the regular gr
idol IOIM
of a  classical  educal ion
.  and   is
not   made   a   fool   by
i!.    mav
consider himsell  as ha v.
a   very    narrow   escape
UAIW   IIA/.I.I'JT.   17?:;
"There    is   nothing   > i
Sl opal
as  an educated  man.  it
von  ea i,
Hv'   him  oil   Ihe   thing
lie   was
educated   in "   WILL   U< HI EUS
1 !>()'.!
One     ol     ilii-     i wo nol,
•         o|          ,,
i i >l legi      eih imi 1 |oi <     i -     l
I       M 1 ' o. \
1lie bev   its 111' le a v,ol
;; n';
" W here    do    von     .up
,o,,e      o,
got   dial   high   hm-v '     I'
'11'S.   El   Ci nnir.\   A    1
' 1    only    look     I lie
I i■ i.;i .1,i.
coul' -e.     -aid   1 he   .Mock
Turi h
Keel, ne,   n.ii   WioMimo
is   CAh'li'ol.l.    l;;.>n
"1   h,io   in*   ■ o, iiii,i  i
a o , i    ';
HIP V el'    ! 1 -       od I 10,P ,o:;      ,,i
,       .   .,.,
111   .'     i Kill     ' o    | ,    ok     ■ ip    .,     1 I    O
o .    1     o.on:       L,        y, i
\ .-' i'i       ,
i ' 111 '!; C 1111 .1 .      1' H ' i
\           h,lu            m!    .,   .,'    ,M
O 1 '   '
been i at li a..I 10(1 years 'before
he w as bom ' OLIVER WEN
DELI,   lloi.MES.    IIKi-f
l! reported   of   Ihe    Per
■■Miis. bv ,m ancient wi'iter.
' i: . die ■aim of I hei r erluca
! o a r o 11 s i s I e 11 i n I each 11ig
,v i o i: 11 I ii ride lo shoot Willi
loe i low and lo speak I nil h,
S.WlfEL    JOHNSON      17a!!
\ nil lege edllcit ion show ■-
,i i:.,, n m iv\ hllle ol her people
i.   . oa        SAM    SLICK,    liJ-U'.
'/' Ii lea I loi: Is II10 pi'i ice-,, i d
id : v >',,;'      a      -e"„     ol      pre.pid ices
tearfully come to the conclusion
lhal.    it    is   to   Engineers   a n rl
Nurses   that   they   must   turn   if
ihey wish UBC to produce again
this   vear.   a   stirring   and   out-
,'.'             ,            ...            ,.    ,,     i tered    a    75-lb.     polished    hras--
standing    interpretation    ot     I lie [      .. ..   '	
The   F..US.   was   pcrsuadyd   h
undertake   Ihe   production   of   a]
literary   and   dramatic   exlrava
gan/a   winch   would   once   again
on  Wednesday at  8:30.    Topic
tor   discussion:   Arthur   Miller
and   "Death   of   a   Salesman."
All interested Frosh welcome.
ep ap ap
JAZZSOC presents the Al
McMillan Quartet, in the Auditorium    Wednesday    at    noon.
bell  used local) all Ilie College's'     Draughting:   Slang   for  drink-] Featuring    Fraser   MacPherson, ,
kiddies  to  sup-sup.   m   the  mili-|»'K   ,>f   flight   beer    -   somc|«'x;   Jimmy   Whiteman.  drums;    '
lary engineering das   ol compc-1 engineers  do this  automatically j Cuddles  Johnson,  bass:   and Al
I l ition.
Engineers   at    CDC   wore   sur
Fvoyal Roads, noted training
ground for Louis' trained killers,
announced their cadets have en-
lumee   mechanical   draughting.   McMillan, piano.    Admission at
I the door.    This  is Vancouver's
Stress:   Force applied to make
place  UISC in  the enviable  posi- 'prised    .nay    shocked,    lo    learn   ,,   body   yield    (See   rape)
tion of being the cultural centre' ''">'''!   Uo^'ds   had   willingly   of-
of   Ilu'   West ' h'fed Iheir prize hell as a stellar
i all raid ion    ol    Wedm ,-dav's    and
THE   COOLEST ..,, .     .      .,      , nancv)
:  I hursdav s    Kende/.v oris
i'eali/ing    our    respou.sibi 111 v
lo     societv     and     knowing     that
Tluirsda.v s    Kende/.v oris
Two   Engineering   -.indenls  en-
such    a     'ask    would    be    bill
tered   the  sane! u.ir.v   ol   Canada'.-' which   Christine   .lorgenson's  op-i
own  Brubeck  quartet.  Wednes-
\ day noon.
| H*      >(*      ¥
j     VISUAL   ARTS   CLUB   preir
i enjs an illustrated lecture "The
I Art   of   Pablo   Picasso,"   today
Conversion Table: The one on j noon   in   Physics 202.
Strain       Deformation     of     a
)ody  after  yielding.     (Sec  preg-
le,ilher    ou    our
iniilders      „,,.; (;l'AKI)1ANS      (>K      " ''' Ai () ('     el'iiUou   took   placi
llMl V   -
lhro.,1 "    MAI {TIN      have   come   up   wilh   a   hit1      W
, . ' I! ACY.   picked   up   ' he   bell,   hi
ll   ElseiiEU.  I!)in
would    like    lo    modest Iv     pom! !
nl   everv lliino      out    at    ilils    I mie    I hat    all    the
ice    Ilia'     111 is    pi < x III ol ion
1,    lei i.o.e    nl     llo! il lllg.
ISs;    DICKENS     l!',,i:> will    porlrav     is    nn!    'he    resul!
il.ilv       I'e.illv       iducaled of    ledlolls    piai'tlce     hill     11111V      a
: i ■   ..'lie      -ei I i-due. i ii d in ielleei   and   abd il v    ol    i lie   par
LEE    DENNETT     ihlli tic.paid.
loved    clarion    of    the    DEEEN
DEKS   Ol-'   l'T<EEDOM.   and   re
Mil'iied   lo   LLC   S
ing    with     Ihe    pi
F-kihhJe    Sextant'    Conuplim
of   bubble   dance
H*      H*      H*
SOCRED CLUB general meet,
nig   to   plan   for   Mock   Parliament   at   Open   House,  in Arts
21)1.   Tuesday,   22,   at   12:30.
i'dav    morn Permanent   Set    No   falsies ^       u,       v
"i''     -"P| Tin-   real   i.lnng FILM    SOCIETY   presents   a
I'mbale    A   proiession.d   hire    ''     Arthur    Rank    comedy   hit.
:i■""■''   0| "F»asspojt   To    Pilmico."   today
I i ipod     MaC   tSiiiod ..,.-, r-    ■       .       .     .1
ee   it at .L4r>, 6 and 8:15, in the Audi-
..i.on    ■■!",] ii -   vv     n    11 ie
■ ■    a vv a i' e    Ihe   pun
oi    . , ;a r.io ' i r ■   a i e    la 11
e, 11 i.  i   i    i ., 11' 11 . i U-,   avail-
i       ' i i     m    novo     o i      . 1111  !'
L E. \',l AMIS      EL' \\K
( 1111 v    d . s; i p p 11111! i n:;    ;
lie   vv hole   a I la ir   ea no
Lim.Use    :|    is   lei!    Im    thc   an   l«^s    discovircd    lia.l    no    Ko.val        Hastai'dEile   List ol  Engineer s , torillin.      Admission 35c
lliordie.-    that    die   uopac!   ol'   En-    thrills  cade'.:   -Imwed   up  lo  greet    ehlldleii Af. * Af
Irigh'.cninijl.v      lurid     Production    llu'    Uv"    I'.iuMiieeis    wlun     ihev r..,, A\--, ll,     <,.,. ,,.    r      ,       W'-•     -sol,u'     Agriculture     and
,v ould  lie  loo  muen  lor  tin   a va
lie   111'I v
i 11 i eI i ■ u   the
lie   in
and     ,i)n\   accept   ,
Cat Wa Ik    Sorority   girl's   pn
! menade
VV I 1,0
ll'l'll   11
,   I:
I,      i ap
v; issinc
a !.',(■  n: i'--l able   A i'l a na
lege      ill       viewing      this      unique, tel'ed
pl'e-a ol' a 1 n M    ha-,    had    lo    lie    I'es L'oVoi   Uo.als   enleic
li'ilni       In       l-.Nt I IN IvE.I.'S        ind ad    lo a. .    miiiioui    ie    !a   '     via
N I ' USES    ( 1.N 1 .Y ei-nipe1 ll ion     oo' did     hul     VV
All      fan; ll leel -     a I e       'irniuie a     pi'./i      o       ;;     w a-.     |io! ;.d     'no ( ' |( I k    11
I'e i i . 1     del     , il     'hell      I i    . j ii • ■ I i I I | I \ n I ! 1 I 1 a I'l     '. . e vV  , I I'   , I I e ' ! ■ I - ■ ' .1 I ;d      la
in I o      Ihe      a i a I . 11 -I ol 'o        o. i      v  a   .V !, k i M   >. o ■       ei ■■■     a ■    i; .      V i  i     ■        \ i -1111;;   L.ni v
. Medicine    (Tracts   come   to   the
i Totem    Office    today    noon,    to
Mehdiugisl    A  man  wiio lakes i if|t,ntify   Aggie   and    Med   Grad"?
one    look    al    a    plain,urn    blond    im,|   M-dch   names   with   faces'.
olid  can   Ieil   whelhiT  she   is   vir- -f.        ,y        }f,
-ni met.,j ea-.ins! emmoe oie LIBERAL    CLUB    will    meet
\u. ' ai   Arts   "JAVA   a'   noon   today  to
for    Hu
soil",    ma'am    liu!   Ilu,.   two    consider      resolutions:
i     loll     a     , oimtei-leit  ' ' '"'>•'    Pmliaruetl!
Diiiniiii!   I   have I Continued   on   Pag«  3)
M   L
ou I
uc;   im
Sp* CLASSES Page Two
Tuesday, February 22, 1955
Devoted to Ihe interests of the undergraduates of the Faculty
of Applied Science.
Published   now  and   then   by  1be   Engineering  Undergraduate
Society of the University of B.C.
Opinions'expressed  are   not definitely   those of  the  Editorial
Board of The Ubyssey. '  *
Heporters and Desk: Jim Bailey, Marley Kelsey, IJob^Hebbert,
Bob Pehota and 700 trained Spanish Banks crabs.
fia-ycut—Bob Johannes
Course   Critique
One of the easiest things ui the world lo do is, to criticize. Everything can stand criticism—teaching included, Ob-"'
tuining qualified lecturers al 'ihis professional school must
be a very difficult task as the graduate has many lucrative
fields open to him, und if teaching were his first objective he
probably would not have enrolled in Applied Science.
It is a credit to our faculty that sve have so many excellent men on our staff; however, the fact must be faced—
there are poor men as well. In any vocation this is true,
some aro competent and some are not. But the question we
wish to raise is, "How are the two separated in this institution?" * *'i4PUUH
Is attendance taken at lectures? Are the marks of a
class an indication of the lecturer's ability, or does thc administration realize that the least competent lecturer is just
ns capable as the most competent in teaching what is going
to bo on the exam? Do supervisors, or does the Dean sit
in and listen to a lecturer in order to judge his capabilities,
as is done by the principal at the high schools? Does intelligence or success in his particular field separate a capable
from a less capable lecturer?
In each case the answer is NO!
We believe that student reaction not only to lecturers
but also to courses is essential knowkdge when planning and
operating any educational system. As far as we are concerned
the best method Jo obtain information on these matters is to
conduct course critiques in all foux*th year classes.
Each student should be asked to fill out a questionnaire
or write an essay giving objective criticism of his four years
at the University. Most fourth year students would be
quite willing to give their personal opinions if such a scheme
were carried out.
A course critique could  he tried as an experiment. It
would require little effort to conduct, but to be of value it
would necessitate sincere application upon the part of both %
student and faculty.
Some method of appraisal is essential, whu do not those
who are most greatly affected give their opinions?
Reprinted   iii  part  from, the Engineer's   Faculty
Issue, University of Toronto Student Paper.
The Engineer
AN ENG INKER is one who passes as an exacting expert
on the strength ol brine, able tu turn out, witli prolific fortitude, strings of incomprehensible formulae calculated with
iitici'omeli'ie proclaim limn extremely vague assumptions,
which arc h.iscd on debatable figure1- acquired from inconclusive tests und quite incomplete experiment.,, carried out
with instruments ot problematic accuracy by persons of
doubtful reliability and of rather dubious mentality, with
flic particular antieip.ition ol disconcerting and annoying
fanatics 'described altogether too frequently as designers
The Mummery
Dear Mr. Editor.
Since I cannot do vi in any oilier publication, I should
he grateful for space in your esteemed Engineer's Ubyssey
lo make a plea for a saner toilet.
I. have written pieces about, tin need for a better if not
bigger toilet for various newspapers and magazines. None of
Ihem lias appeared. The editors fob me off wilh some excuse
about "family reading" and 'matter of taste " I *#in now
convinced lhal there is a conspiracy lo lie us to the toilet
a:-, we know it; lli.il is. a thoroughly   treacherous device.
Only' the oilier <la\ it was reported from England that a
man had been fined lor installing modern toilets in his
bouse. The authorities said the modem toilets consumed too
much water, but il goes deeper than lli.it. The fact is thai
toilets, bolh ancienl and mo-lern, have us buffaloed to such
an extent lhal we hesitate to abandon, as Ihe Irish say, "'ihe.
divcil we know lor tbe divvil we don't  know "
In tin- country we know that ihe modernity of a toilel
makes il no lev, porlidioiis. On tbe contrary the very roar of
a high-pressure closet makes us blanch in tbe washroom and
wonder  it   there are any survivor.-,.
No niatlei how new a toilet is. in a matter o| a lew
weeks it has starle I to express Us nasty personality There
are the chtieklers, lho-e lhal keep gurgling after use a-
theiigh 11 ii mi- view nl' ii. n;i' hig'hk amusing. There are the
winners, winch build up a cre-.ceiK.ln like the approach ol a
I I'i-inch shell. There are the chukei'v which strangle horribly
and  make  -ure  liia'   .umehndy   w ill   !ui<l   the  evidence.
Can there be inm e del mile proof ol man's slinko,\ control
"I be environment than his Irantie fleeing, of a bathroom''
l^ine-er vitliMul (lignitw  that   r,  whal   we find   m  the  present
'"ilH, ^'■-'9-m\wRaW'
'*'" 'ee '' ■'■ ''l''ui ibat the world i- wailing lor a saviiw
I''""! " "\vi, piiiiiiluiL:. a P.e.leur o| the plunger Where
can >ve look nioie hopoiulh ll,.,., |,,u aril- the rank- of the
I'aigmei ;  ■ |! oii'm   ih:i".   of   ,itan:      , an    v ml
Al Fotherhaham
(UBC Engineers asked Al
Fotheringham. long-time sho-
veler of Campus Chaff, to contribute a column for this edition. Here it is, in all its sickening entirety):
H-      H*      *
I don't like Engineers.
My Dog Has
"... I WOULD LIKE TO SUBMIT to Council the proposal to build a third 10-yard pool instead of roofing the
second 25-yard one"
Looking Forward
The Editor has requested me to write an article for the
Ubyssey-Sciencc Issue, giving, if possible, a ^prediction as to the
probable engineering opportunities for young graduate engineers in thc next few- years. This attempt to look into the future
is hazardous in the extreme as any such paih is strewn with
danger and many pitfalls. If thc forecast turns out to be correct,
then nobody even faintly remembers who made the predictions,
whereas, on the other hand, if the results are inaccurate then the
writer is then subjected to a deluge of brickbats ot various proportions. Despite this possible eventuality I will however make
an attempt to fulfil my obligation to the E.U.S. in my capacity
Honorary President.
History has shown us in Hie past each generation, has had it*
own particular responsibilities and also accomplished corresponding ncheivements.
In following these processes through many years it is convenient for us ns members of the British Commonwealth of
Nations to divide the periods of time of generations in the same
way as in ancient history, namely, in terms of the names of the
reigning monarch.*.
Ftfr example, the engineers of the Victorian era (1837 to 1U0I >
had their energies fully occupied with the initial development
of railroads and also'of iron steamships, such as the mighty
Great Eastern." Although this latter turned out to be a colossal
failure at the time, the underlying idea was good but the delnlls
of denign were lacking in .soundness. •
The Edwardian period which followed lasted ten years from
1001 to 1011. This era saw the advent of thc internal combustion
engine and its application to the automobile: also in addition the
rapid developement of various forms of electrical energy and all
thai it pertains took place.
The long period of the two Georges (V and VI) from 1911 to
1!)r>2 really saw engineering development at its best when it
came into its own. During thb time the rise in importance of
engineers as a vital factor in Hie general community reached
the highest limits This period also included thc two Great
World Wats which necessitated engineering development on a
phejiomeii.il scale Such device.- as supersonic aircraft, jet propulsion and the multitude of electronic equipment really re-!
reived an impetus at this time .
At the present time, we are now in the beginning of the 2nd !
Elizabethan era  Any schoolboy knowg what took place when Ihe
first Elizabeth was on the throne of England
It, is well known that history has a habit of repeating itself
aud the 2nd Elizabethan Age may well prove to be a replica of
the 1st insofar os it may usher in a period of great scientific
activity in many branches of engineering as dLstind from Ihe
literary of Hie 1st Elizabethan Age,
This conjures up a dream of possible development of rockets
and  flying saucers with  contra-rotating  rings  as  projects for '
aeronautical engineers of the future; the hai nesstng of the earth's ;
magnetism for the electrical engineers; the civil engineers might '
investigate the possibility of movement of heavy bodies by levita-
lion by obtaining information from the fakirs of Ihe Easl. Nuclear
theory and investigation of cosmic rays are already well known
.subjects lot student of physics and chemistry, while the foresters
might find ways and mean of accelerating the growth of trees
These  ideas, some fanciful and some realistic might  have  the :
effect of keeping future generations busy lor some time to come i
However, since a large portion of recent developments have
taken place within the last fifty years, it would be as well io
split this period up into decades such as:
"Tiie f(oaring Twenties'
The Hungry Thirties
The  Fight ing   Foi'lie.*"
aud now we have
The   Lush   Kittle-,
ami   .ico'iii
ll Ihis latter is lo lie line to lis name, then U is ueer.v-ary lor
a Philosophy ul Life lo lie followed This could ucll be the
I'lepare  for Ihe  worsl
Hope   for   Ihe   be>i
and  lake
Whatever eonie.- alum;
A   .Indent   lollowmg   this   dictum   would   l.nd   himself   well
prepared  for  all  emergencies   bolh  xuod  and  bad  and   would   til
into  most   modern  oi'uan i/.al ions  like a duck   lakes  lo water
Save 50% on your car repairs
U-Fix II Yourself (iarajje
Well we see that thc boys'
over in Union College have
niadc an agrcemnt not to read
bur column, so we feel free
to insult them today. However we won't. Instead, we'll
write an ode to crabs' which,
we feel, is very apropos at this
Oh  cunning  little creatures
With mandibles so strong
To   gasoline  and  ointment
Wc dedicate our song.
The crab he is a noble beast
He thrives at logging camps ;
They  nip at all  your  private ;
The  nasty little  scamps.
Life is hasty lor tiie crab
But still extremely sweet
Oh   what   a   happy   hunting
ground i
Is    a    campus    toliet    .seat |
When plagued by these crusat-
ceans j
You'll itch and scratch  and ,
You'll   feel   as   bad   as   Smith
and Ross
In  front  of Facultv   Counci!
ntan's. If found please phone
AL. 0927L. Ask for Mike.
the Varsity Launderette. Up l.o
9 lbs. completely processed for
75c. Special student rates for
small lots. Across from Varsity
Theatre.  AL. 2210.
H* *F *P
onable Phone MA 6613
if. if* >f>
grammar and composition. Ph.
CH. 4(iG8,
*t* %• %<
Electric typewriter. Carbon
paper and ribbons generously
used. Accurate work. Mrs. F
M. Gow, 44f>G West 10th Ave.,
ALma 3682.
If, if. if.
duate Students—Your work a
specialty with us. Also Unlver:
sity typing-of all kinds. Com
potent work, campus rates.
Just off the campus.
ep 9p ep  ^
anyone who can supply information concerning the whereabouts of Nick Smythe. formerly registered in Forestry pWase
contact Bob Gray at PA. 6311
day.*, or CH. 9974 evenings.
ep 9p ep
hand portable typewriter. $23
AL. 3225R. #
with your study program? Read
faster—read better. Individual
Reading Skill training is now
available, with special reduced
fees for students. Double your
speed of reading and improve
your understanding and study
methods. For details, phone TA.
2918 or write the Registrur.
Tiie Western Reading Labor
atory Ltd., 939 Hornby Street,
Vancouver 1, B.C.
Aptitude testing
Personnel   Consultant
Industrial Psychologist
606 Stock Exchange Building
TA. 7748
Fqu -Stanon.': AnoSta'i" 0no/
3:45. 6:00. 8:15
Fine Foods
Mellow Whip
Ice Cream
101 h & Sasftm»i
ALma 2596
I icri'elv
ikl';: vv, nil
I'll.   -ISIS   i Tueiday, February 22.19o5
Pag* Thro
Fatigue   Analysis   In   The   Structural
Support Of A Strapless Evening Gown
(Excerpt from a papou entitled "Gothic Form Design:
small, medium and large."!
For several years, since the
advent of Jane Russell, there
has been countless hours in
research a n d observation
spent in the analysis of fatigue
failure in strapless evening
gowns, and it has been found
through calculations, graphs,
and working models, lhal the
major steps in the fatigue failure problem is largely due to
lipstick  distribution.
Today at 3:45. 6:00 and 8:15
1522 W. Broadway       CE. 1611
2263 W. 41st at Yew St.
Countless engineers, have
conducted experimental design
surveys on the methods and
effect of lipstick distribution
in the fatigue failure problem.
In fhe lipstick distribution,
two fundamental laws have
been developed at the University of Alberta laboratories The first law states that
when two surfaces meet, one
of which is coated with lipstick, a certain amount of
distribution  takes place.
The second law, conversely
states that the second surface.
originally clean, retains a certain amount of lipstick. Two
formulae were developed to
apply to field work done in
the problem of lipstick distribution   and  are  as  follows;
D    XPNtK I (Aa)  -T- FQ
Where X -t—maximum —
4P2N5T3C 101.
Term   explanations;
D —Distribution
P  -pressure   psi      ,
N -frequency osculations in
T - Absolute   t e m p erature
- degrees Gothic
t -  Time  -■- seconds
A--area   of   transmitter
if   r e c e i v e r
f a c tor    in
square  inches
a    area   ol
square inches
F -■'"pucker
wench power
Q -surface   conditions
I—light intensity — candle
•    X    passion   in   angular   impulses
K —(r e c e n t I y discovered)
constant of location (i.e. Spun-
ish  Banks—2)
To apply these equations to
the fatique failure in structural support of strapless evening gowns, the necessary data
tor the equations must be obtained under standard conditions.
Several     engineers     have
been  forced to bring this vari-
' able   up   in   top-secret  laboratories  in  an  effort  to change
their    behaviors    for    future
However, for standard conditions, the apparatus to record   the  data   for  the   equa
tions   can   be   specified.     The
pressure   meter   consists   of   two
metal contacts placed between
the lips and upper teeth of the
The contacts are clcclrical-
l.v connected to a drum recorder in the receiver's pocket.
(One experimenting engineer
reports a complete tonsilcc-
limiy from the metal contacts
when the pressure maximum
was exceeded by 200r", .
The "pucker" factor F and
surface condiWons Q are obtained from faculty tables sup
plied free of charge by the
Womcns' Undergraduate Society and the location factor
(k) tables are supplied by the
City of Vancouver at a small
nominal   charge.
Another instrument (nol
standard) is the impression
box which divides the transmitter structural support into
catagories: small, medium,
and  large.
This box consists of a clay-
filled   rectangle   located   one
foot vertically below the con
tact  area  (a)  of  the  receiver.
For  most   experiments,   however,   it   has   been   found   an
estimate by eye gives the same
results  and   produces  only   a
small  error   in' tt|fc categories
so defined.
To illustrate the various types
of transmitters and the application  of data for  the  two equations,  with  their consequent  cf-
: feci on the structural support of
i the strapless evening gown, sev-
j eral sample experiments and the
conclusions reached are now presented
With a dusty penal gang on a torrid southern road.
My late lamented daddy had hi.s permanent abode
Now'soine were  there  tor stealing,  but   my  daddy's
only fault.
Was an overwhelming weakness lor criminal assault.
Hi.s   philosophy   was   simple,   and   free   from   moral
Seduction is for sissies--what a he-man wants is...
Daddy's total list of victims was embarrassingly rich,
And one of them was mother, but he wouldn't tell me
Well, I wenl to college and I got me a'degree,
I reckon I'm a model of a perfect S.O.B. '
I'm  a debit  to my country  and  a credit  lo my dud,
The most ignorant Engineer UBC ever had.
Mechanical   Failure
Undoes   Experiment
Add a Fresh New Blouse to
Your Campus Tweeds and Flannels
As   Illustrated 2.95
II i !(.''s new ci 11 loe I inn ot ta ilu red, novelty and HivKT.a shirts vvdli ihe character
t< i slay  I iv-.h ai id crisp  ,  .     have  load >
of In-huHi  lor a  little price  .  ,  .  Host  ol
all   thev   \* ash   in  a   minute  and   do  up
like   new.   Kirs!   <|iuilily   cot -
hai ami  all; broadcloth. ( h>od
tht ue;.      1(1     exediii",     color-.
Si/is i:> io :>.[)
! 'no a I  I rani  '.-!.!• i 111 .i,!),>
m;<  siMiKTswj \n
INCOHPORAT I O    .'"'     MAV    lo'O.
Pressure  (P):   light
Frequency  (N)   1
Temperature (T) cold
Time  (I)   I   second
Pucker  factor  (F)   0
Pressure (Pi medium with in        Pressure (P) maximum
terest Frequency <N) help
Frequency (Ni 2 per minute Temperature   (T)   sizzling
Temperature (H warm           ' Time (t)  I can't see my stop-
Time  (!)  '.U)  seconds watch
Light      intensity      maximum       Pucker   factor   (Fi  2 Pucker   factor   (F'l   not   listed
''lightness. i,ijV1)t    j,,trnsity   (li   i.-,)   from        l-'^ht   intensity  (P  0
Transmitter:    yes.    mother,    I ear   radio Local ion    factor   (IO   Spanish
wiM    be   home   earlv     from    the        Local inn factor < K i in  Irm!  of   Ranks
ball and I won't  lei him park -anise Impression      meter      rcadinu
ri'VelVel"       I'lljnV       voursell' •■• ,, T   . ,,     ,     lame
"       ■ I raiisnut 'or  ivi'i'i'    John    tha' *
d.myiiler.   and   be   home  earlv ,, ,,., Heading   bv    we.   Wow
■ i hits ^       ■ ■
('onehisioiis     die    IransmiMei
is   sending   lair   weathi'r   signal
The  receiver   is  not   receiving.
,  Fatigue   Stress:   Only    oscilla-
Receiver-   >r.rrv.   Im    k,,<    mv        Tratismi; ler. Take me darling.
.\cs  on. * l'm   a11   -vu,,rs:
Conclusions   Hree„, Receiver:   the   lights   sure  are
'ion-   produced   by  deep   breath Fatigue    stress:    might    show
mg    Are   far   below   endurance   some  parting  although  dislribu
limit. lion   I)   is   fnirlv  ever..
pretty   across   English  Bay.
'This   is   to   keep   the   passion
variable X from reaching Xm-*).
Conclusions:     Xm     raathtdr
The   difference   between   war        You've probably heard of   the       Fatigue failure:  None,  failuf*
and   peace   is   there   never   has   gambling    tom-cat    who    put   finally  occurred by   mechanical
been   a   good   war. everv thing he had into the kilty,   means.
CLASSES        !
(Continued from Page  1)
Swim   Team   uractico.   Tuesday
22.   noon   in   the   Women's  Clym
,y.       *       *
PHRATERES sponsored Barn
Dance. Fridav 2.1. V, 12 p.m in
I lie Women's Gym. Everv one
welcome 'Men especially). Ad-
mission: Men 2;">c. Women Hoc.
Refreslimeiils and clitei'lain-
nieiil   provided.
*       -Y-        Y-
■,v 111 meel to make final pla'is
loi 11 ie Timr <da.v ev en mg soia.d
inee! mg ni di'' homo o| Air
Peer     Pllieo Art.-     11)11.     Wed
••(•     ■•{■     -Y-
! )di,i!i'       '  Resolved      tha:      I in
limn...  ol   Iholisoou   are   I'nlnuml
ii   '   Dannv   Goldsmith   Vs  Fo.sier
hi.ei'Mood,    Thursrlav     noon     m
!■'< ,    I uo
•Y-       -Y-       -Y-
CERCLE      FRANCAIS      w   II
aa,:    a    mo,-;      mpoi'! a i,;    ;a ;a r
10   o' ill'.; UViil'n    ai   IV Hool; in
\r...   Io-l
■Y- -Y •':'•
i  oi; lie; I     w. 11     no!d     an     I ■ n po> '
all'    111 o o I I : i ;;    , ■ I   , i i 11      Men   -    I ' I ' I i '
' ,,.   a;    loda.V     a1    iomi'i      All    cla   mm
! ■   ia  ol"'   -i 'i'' ill
TurMny, February 22, 1955
Ruggermen Just Roll Along, Trample
Surprising James Bay In Exhibition
Foe, ho, Rah
It is common knowledge thai
engineers are superior to arts-,
men. In everything. You name
it—we're best at it.
A good example of engineering superiority are this year's
intramurals. As is to be expected, engineers are again in first
At the last count it was found
that engineers had been trampling their opponents regularity
enough to pile up a 45 point
lead. Our fall record showed
Iwe won the badminton and
table tennis, were finalists in
volleyball and semi-finalists in
Individual stars for engineers
were Jim and John Pritchard,
who won the badminton
doubles, D. Panaisti and S. Stephen, who won the table tennis doubles, Phil de Foye and
George Taylor who were the
other finalists in table tennis,
and Alex Csepe, who was a final
ist   in   the   badminton   .singles
This term we have six basketball teams entered, two of which
are undefeated. Three- other
teams have lost only one game.
And for the tug of war, engineers 200-lb. average team will
be the one' to beat.
And with boxing, wrestling
and softball coming up, Engineers should be well ahead by
the end of the season
Who knows, if female enrollment in engineering continues
to increase we may be leading
the women's intramurals in a
few  years
Stars  In
alert Brewbyssey photographer is the dangerous animal
which was found early this
morning in the basement
floor of the gymnasium.
Savage beast was at the
time leading a pack of his
fellows in an invasion of the
men's locker room and had
just finished dispaching train
er John Owen, who, armed
with old towels, and tapes,
and a bottle of his favorite
liniment, held them at bay
for twenty minutes.
—Joe Blotz Photo.
World   Cup   Battle
Commences  Saturday
Saturday al the Owen Bowl, a James Bay rugger team,
which hail un moral right to challenge the .supremacy of the
Thunderbirds. refused to lie down and die, and scored 12 surprising points . . . but Varsity scored 21.
Birds,   looking   rather   ragget
and  carefree, clearly  outclassed
the   Victoria . XV.   but   did   not
seem unduly concerned or wor- i
tied   about   their  oposilion.   The j
opposition,   on   the   other   hand,
fought tooth and nail lo win the'
scrums and force the game. Thev
even   scored   first. I
Wilh Victoria leading .'1-0.1
prancing Ii*v Knight ol Birds J
bounded over to tie the game;
3-3. Then Whirlaway Newton .
scored his first ol three tries,!
which Bill Whyte converted |
Varsity  led   8-3. '
With nothing but sorrow issuing forth from the nest of
the  Varsity Birds, it is  with
Morley galloped into the clear; new   found   joy   that   we   may
and. at the last moment, passed j lurn to the Junior Birdmen.
overhead lo Newton who geared j
into high and  lost his pursuers. I WON ENOUGH
Hoopers   Drop  Two  More
The   Newt  completed  his hat-
trick by another sparkling dash
Tiie Jayvees, sporting  a  not-
to impressive record, have never-
CPS 58—UBC 55
PLC 64—UBC 47
UBC showed well on offense but didn't get enough
points at the foul line either
night and lost both games of
their weekend road trip.
Friday night, they had a
halftime lead of 30-26' over-
College of Puget Sound Loggers, scored 23 field goals in
the game, and had 23 fouls
called against them.
The Loggers scored only 18
J   field   goals   but   had   only   14   j   luetic   will  show  you   thai  an
fouls blown against them so
they managed to walk off the
floor with  a 58-55 victory.
Saturday   night   it   was   Wi
field   goals for UBC  and   19
for  Pacific Lutheran  Gladia
UBC scored 11 out of 16
attempts at the foul line
while PLC got 39 chances
and  scored  26 of  them.
The final score of this game
was PLC (14 - UBC 47.
A little bit of simple arith'-,
Win   Again
BLURBS  16   EX. P. W. 8
|        Four  lossless games  in a  row  and   Don  Coryell's   Blurbs
I rule the rugger roost for the Carmichael Cup. Saturday they
I ran over Ex-Prince of Wales Mi-8 in one of the roughest games
of the .season.
Winning   the   open  sabre   and QUT   QN   LIMB f
taking second place iu the open I Apwe     If ^i    i asm asms      m
foil.   UBC's   John   Loewen   tied      Anyone  who gets rough  with | ^J||*|§ ^Kl TCCUTI I Q KQS
awful lot of fouls were charged against Varsity while comprint ivelv few were tailed
against the home teams. 'Nuff
The double loss -left UBC
sole teuuants of the Evergreen Conference Basement.
The Loggers who were tied
wilii Varsity in the standings until thin weekend moved out by virtue of Iheir Friday night joy ride.
CPS <;>a> Medin 20. Bak
us 7. Bowman 9. Eliason 9,
Wilkersou 7. Marvin 4, Tail-
man :..
UBC    <5f>> 'Mcl.eod    19.
Pollock 12. Carter 5, Wild !i
Ei 'i'\\ a ,'d    li      11 uiN"n     2.     \,v
Iimuj.'   iL'iuiii ;;
l'!,C    .'it' \o1i|,,uM     I I
IIm,,<   i      ||,     Kehlci'ni,»,n     I I
( / u I in ii i    II     San lersi mi   a,   limo.
III.    II,iii-cn   2.
UBC    (47' McLeod    20,
Forward fi. Hudson. Nyhaug
2. Wild 4. Pollock 2. Carter
0.   Madill   Li.
which    Whyte   converted:    ltt-3.   thi-Ioss.    won   often   enough   to
A  desperate corner  push  try at J sneak   into   the   playoffs  of the
half   time   upped   the   Islanders ! Senior A Men's League,
total to six worked-1'or points.
In the second session a penalty
shot   by   Victoria   made   it    Hi 9.
The  ganu
yon    'till
Chambers    (one    sock    up.    ont
clown,    and     Albert     quizzical;
So far, Ihey have won one
and lost one against the Adanacs.
scrambled hither and j Tonight   comes   the   stern   test.
near   the   end    Mike j If  they   win   they   will  advance
mto the final where they may
play  against Eilers for the City
bulled   over   for   a   trw   Whvii
ll   ,,. 9 I championship.  If they lose...
conversion   made
————--—---——--—-----—-- | OPTIMISTIC
GRASSHOCKEY       WIN \     Anyway,  tonights game  goes
rii//»/■ i Mrr rTi»jiaht   l 7:lfl '" King Edward H'sh
TWOGAMESSTRAIGHT .School gymnasium. Those inter-
Varsity    grasshockey    learn
made sure  of placing  at   least
. second   in      the   Lower   Mainland    league   Saturday    when
2 I
I' IU'    mad! ■    i'    a    blue    ai id
gold     clean     - w • v\ i     11\     i >ea ! : m
Ih dbird     .; :'
Mhagw li,, '     ,1,,'A all,1.1     -i (M'ed
bolh    Var-ii \     lm.iL        IJ i) ii ;;
I low ie    Ian   Tw inb     ami   ( 'a I
In.-.-   Kruylboat'h
jested in seeing Penn's men in
action for possibly the second
last time (optimistic aren't we)
are cordially invited to attend.
Across from  Varsity Theatre
AL. 2460
Discount for Stud«nt*
for  top  honours   in   the  Provincial   Fencing    tournament   held
Saturday at UBC
He tied wilh Julius Erke, who
was second in the sabre and
first in the foil.
UBC took all honours in the
Junior foil, with first, second
•and . third taken by Richard
Thompson. Mans Rainer, an%
Dave   Nuttal.
the 'American trained" Blurbs
is going out on a limb Blurbs
were just twice as able as P.W
in tvery department, as the
score would  indicate
Tries by Paul La Pointe, Ted
Duncan, and two by Rae Ross,
with   two   conversions   bv   Bob   '"'day
In  Grouse  Meet
UBC's women's ski leant  plac  -
ed third in the five team North-1 Wa.-huigton's Karen Styrmol. an
west    Intereolllcgiatc   ski    meet i exchange   student   and   Olympic
held   on   Grouse   lVfounlain   Sal
Weinburg,    accounted    for    the
Blurbs,  points.
Ross, with a few much needed ; swept   to    fourth   place
Rod Palmer of UBC look sec-j pounds added  to his tall frame,   only   event,    tht
ond     in     the  novice     foil,     and j has developed into a  real  "pow-
Graham   Anderson   placed   third , er"   runner   with   disheartening
in   the   open   epec - speed
Slammin Sam
Pins His Man
UBC's wrestling Irani, entering compeliI ion for the first
time this sear, came away with
one     win   aud   Iwo   close   losses
The victors' was -cored by
Eugene "Sam" Shkurhan in the
Welterweight  class.     He  produc-fl'
win    via    a    pin    iu    the
Tomahawks lost a  hoatibieak-
er against Kats 9-8, Tommies
have three consecutive losses
now, all to the cream of the
league-- Braves. Blurbs and Kats.
They an> fast but light, and
should hire belter from now on.
Braves, in their Carmichael
Cup till against North Shore
All Blacks, brought home the
lacon by a squocky IM) wm.
'John    Mulberry    scored    Braves
Varsity's     Louise     Backs! rom
In the
giant slalom
Backed by the Pat McFeely, 71 h.
Sue Rae, 12th, and Mary Beck
Kith, the team beat Western
Washington ami Montana bul
was behind Washington and
Washington   Slate.
Winner      of    the      event       wa.-
-kier   from   Oslo.
The Girl's ski club will meet
Wednesday' al n o o n in the
women's common room to dis
cuss plans lor Ihe weekend trip
I o    SiiAi'n's    Pas.-.
I We completely reline brakes at a cost of...
! RIVITTED $9.95
• BONDED $15.00    "
. Also grind   valves, return  brake drums,  re-bores, etc.
i Work on your own car and save 50°°
j We supply   the  tools and  advice
II-Fix It Yourself Garage
I   Shop and  Tools
I   i,,2;; w. nil
(II     ISIS
Garage   I
IKHO Triumph   |
At Victoria   t
Dr.   John   I>.   Roscboiough
2130 Western Parkway
(Behind   Hank   ol    Commerce;
Phono   AL.   3980
... ,r . poinls  in   the hard   lough!   duel
lirsl     4,i     seconds     ol     hi-     boul *
Shkurhan s   oppouenl    w, as   Dave BUT   ONE
Manning  ol   YMCA Brave-     have     lo-l      bul     one
CLOSE nialeh,   a.-   have   Blurbs,   so   talis
In    Mc    hghl    iie.ivv     (livi-iini are    locking    to    the    meelmg    ol
\'; 11 ■ s p I \ ' -   Archie   McMullar   ilor the   Iwo   with    gory    speculation
met'   I'..   C    M.ddtew eight   Champi ll    will    be   a   cmite-l   of     'honor"
his!   a   cIo-m-  tlerl.-ion   lo   Nick   Pa' when   the   Iwo   I'BC   learns   Clash
Irsou ol   Ihe  Marpole Conimumlv The   -iprid   which   loses   aoloiua!
('"litre       I'at'ersoii    hv    Ihe   w,i\ icallv    become    the      moral    win
IS   li-.e   pre-eul   B.C    l.t.gh!   Heavy tiers mi     how     ran     one     lose"
w eiglr     Champ < >ne   ca n I
BAyview 3425
Private Instruction
Ithumba - Tango - Samba
Fox Trot - Waltz . Jive
Old Time
Beginners  - Brush   Up
Advanced Courses
If no answer CEdar 6878
Alma Hall, 3679 W. Broadway


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