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The Ubyssey Feb 2, 1922

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Issued Weekly by the Publications Board of the University of British Columbia
Volume IV.
VANCOUVER, B. C, FEBRUARY 2, 1922
Number 13
Possession of
McKechnie Cup
Now Assured
Senior Rugby Trophy
Gomes to U.B.C.
Staid Halls
Invaded by
Motley Crowd
Women's Carnival A
Great Success
The McKechnie Cup was definitely
assured a place in the Entrance Hall
cabinet when the College last Saturday defeated the Vancouver "Rep.."
team 10 points to 3.
Conditions, for once, were ideal and
the game correspondingly interesting.
Both teams took the field in fine trim
which enabled them to maintain the
keenest competition throughout a
gruelling test of condition.
Five minutes from the start found
Varsity in Vancouver's twenty-five.
After a short struggle the bah went
down our three-quarter line to "Gee"
Ternan who was brought down with
a yard to go. Reg. Hodson touched
down for the first score of the game.
The rather difficult kick was unsuccessful.
With three points against them
Vancouver showed their mettle and
forced the blue and gold team to a
position dangerously close to our line.
A few minutes later Domoney cleared
and play was near the centre-line
when Ken Macken, Vancouver's captain, and one of our opponents' most
valuable players, dislocated his knee
and was unable to take any further
part in the game. For the ten minutes following a stiff struggle was
carried on with no large gains to
either side. Then "Gee" Ternan finding an opening thirty yeards out from
the "Rep" goal posts sent the ball
over the cross-bar in a perfectly
judged drop-kick.
Again Vancouver came back from
the kick-off and pressed hard. Soon
afterwards Varsity had the misfortune to lose "Gee" Ternan who had to
leave the field with a cracked rib. At
half-time Varsity were back in their
opponents'  twenty-five.
Blue and Gold took the offensive
when play was resumed. Some" fifteen
minutes later Vancouver succeeded in
forcing the play into the Varsity
twenty-five and were awarded a free-
kick. Hal Gwyther made use of this
opportunity by putting the "Rep."
team on the score board for three
points with a neat drop-kick. On one
other occasion Vancouver broke the
Collegians' decided mastery. A free
kick was awarded our opponents and
failed. Soon after "Lou" Hunter and
"Cam" Stewart figured in a rush down
the touch line. A furious struggle
within a few yards of the Varsity line
kept the spectators in wild excite^'
ment for some minutes. A drop-kick
by Vancouver from a very advantageous position was smothered by a rush
and play went back to the other end
of the field. Several minutes of pressure in this area resulted in Buchanan
scoring a try from a pass by Carlisle.
(Continued on page 3)
Painted  Clowns,  Pirates   Bold,   Arab
Sheiks,
Heap Big Indians, War Whoops,
Shrieks,
Fox-trot,  Camel-walk,  slide  and  dip,
High Jinks, High Jinks,
Rip!    Rip I    Rip!
It was the best High Jinks since
High Jinks became a firmly fixed institution in our university life. Everybody says so, and everybody, for
once, is right. The costumes were
extremely original, the music excellent, and the refreshments, provided
by the women of Arts '24, of a very
satisfying nature.
What a night! Bedraggled tramps
sat about the floor playing with their
grimy cards, while in among them
danced dainty Egyptian princesses,
courtiers, jesters and pierrots. The
sweetest of old-fashioned ladies
walked arm in arm with Mexican
brigands and Chinese coolies. It was
the highest achievement of democracy
this University has ever witnessed.
The evening was opened with a
grand march in which everyone displayed their costumes to the best advantage. The dancing was interrupted several times to yield place to the
skits which were put on. The first
of these was a realistic Bowery song
and dance; the second, a spirited
dramatic version of Lord Ullin's
daughter which provoked surreptitious tears. In the third act, Lady
Godiva rode through the streets on
her priceless "palfrey," the source of
much sympathy. But the fourth was
the crowning achievement of the
evening—"Barnacles," a parody on
the Christmas tragedy "He." The
little Captain vowed that, "by Jiminy
Christmas," he'd have his barnacles,
and that if he "went home with a
measely little lard-pail of barnacles,
all the children in the streets" would
laugh at him. But Arabella, his
big wife, by a poetic reversal of justice, tells him to go and "play with
your tin-whistle that I bought specially for your amusement." When
the audience had been reduced to a
helpless condition by laughter, the
curtain fell.
Then came supper, and the prizes.
Miss Mclnnes praised the costumes
and the ingenuity that had created
them, and after the usual difficulty
found in bestowing the prizes, she
awarded them to Miss Cranston, '25,
and Miss Murphy, '23, as the two
finest masqueraders; and to Miss H.
Creelman, '24, and Miss M. Roe, '25,
as the two most comical.
High Jinks was not only very much
enjoyed by the women of the University, but—it seems to have been looked
upon, favourably by other students
also.
THE WEEK'S EVENTS
Thursday, February 2.
Vancouver Institute — "Pathfinders
of B. C. Hinterland," by Dr. M. S.
Wade, Physics Lecture Room* 8:15.
Friday, February 3.
Aggie Dance, Lester Court, 9:00.
Alma Mater Meeting, Noon.
Debate, Arts '22 vs. '23, auditorium, 3:00.
Junior Hockey, League Playoff—
Varsity II. vs. Towers Juniors. Arena,
7:00.
Saturday, February 4.
Rugby—Varsity vs. Victoria, Brockton Point, 2:45 (if grounds not frozen)
Soccer—Mainland Cup playoff,
Moody Square, New Westminster,
2:15.
Wednesday, February  8.
Women's Lit.    Open debate, 3 p.m.
***************** w.******
Programme of
Varsity Week
Announced
Lots of Unusual Events
Scheduled
VARSITY   WEEK
Fb.  13th to  20th
Most of us remember the Klahowya
week of last year and what a big
success it was in arousing Varsity
latent pep and in demonstrating to
the faculty and the city at large that
there is a real live spirit in these halls
of learning. This year a similar week
is being arranged by Student Leaders
—and judging from the pep shown in
the various arrangements, it augurs
well to be a far greater success than
last year's.
A snappy programme for the pep
week has been drawn up and embraces
a decidedly varied field. On Monday
noon in the auditorium, a mass meeting of students will be held when an
explanation of the idea and a detailed
announcement of the programme for
the week will be given. Stunts, yells
and peppy speeches are all being
billed and Varsity week will receive
a  splendid send-off.
On Tuesday night there will be a
Faculty vs. Students' Debate. The
subject is a snappy one. The Faculty
representatives are taking the affiir-
mative of "Resolved that lectures are
detrimental to a college course."
The Faculty vs. Students' soccer
game has been arranged for Wednesday—and the novelty of the game
lies in the fact that the student team
will have a member of each year on
it.
Thursday Night, of course, is the
big night—when Varsity goes on
downtown rampage to the Orpheum
Theatre. This year's programme for
Theatre night is snappier than ever
(Continued on page 6)
Air Is Blue
With Smoke of
Arts' Corncobs
Sporting Features Enjoyed
on Friday Night
First Frosh—Skyrocket for the
Arts' Smoker!
Second Frosh—By heck, I loaded
my corn cob three times and smoked
eight cigarettes, and I didn't even get
dizzy!
First Fresh (chesty). Oh, that's
nothing. Doc. Sedgwick gave me one
of his 40c (?) Havanas.
Prof. H. T. Logan, Honorary President of the Society made the opening
speech and led a sing song amid the
gathering smoke - barrage, then
"Johnny" declared the party open.
The Lodge with its usual kindness
lent some charming talent for several
dance and song numbers.
Varsity's best friend "Old Bill," was
much in the limelight and made a
speech, tracing some of his experiences in the halls of U. B. C. Mr. Tansley is looking forward to that millen-
ium when he will be doing duty in the
marble halls at Point Grey.
After some good songs, the spirit
of the ace of spades favored the party
with a visit, and wrote much on a
slate. Mr. G. Kydd, magician, pulled
sundry unmentionables from the hat
of an innocent-looking freshman.
Doc. Sedgewick's eyes grew large and
round, and in a terror-stricken voice,
he said, "For heaven's sake don't give
that man my hat."
Campbell and McLachlan now
furnished thrills in a three-round
boxing bout which was luckily declared a draw before too much damage had been done. The only casualties that we could observe were a
black eye and a busted pate. Following the bout the orchestra saw fit to
Hoi""-" ono nf :ts spasmodic outbursts
and the couples stepped onto the floor
in lovmg embrace. All camel walking
and touching was strictly taboo. One
chap was hea,rd deliriously cooing to
his partner about the thrills of hugging a post and dancing with a boy,
being on a par.
A fair" 'MsciDle of Terpischore
flung the Highland Fling and tripped
several airy measures. She is a true
artist and she danced and sang her
way into the hearts of her appreciative audience.
Arkley, Ellis; .Gill and Welch of
Arts '22, '23, '24 and '25 respectively,
walloped each other around into
knots and made mysterious passes
into vacancy, in the cleverest blindfold boxing matches on record. Arts
'22 represented by Jack Arkley won
the box of cigars.
Prof. Logan rounded out the programme with a poem of his own im-
provision, dwelling upon the foibles
and fussings of the Executive of the
A. M. U. S.
(Continued on page 8) THE     UBYSSEY
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Cor. Homer and Hastings Sts.
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Fruit,   Confectionery,   Ice
Cream and Tobacco
Hot   Lunches   Served
Also Afternoon Tea
Phone Fair. 377
Knowlton's
Drug Store
Is Open All Night
For  Members  of  the  "Owl
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We fill Your Prescriptions
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IS Hastings St. E.
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PHONE SEY. 656
Have You seen the new
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THE
NATBURY
Moderately Priced
Goldbloom's
651 Granville St.      ::
February 2nd, 1922
The Lady, the Lad and
thei^irw
"There's an awful lot of knowledge
That you never learn at college,
There are heaps of things you never
Team at school."
HOW DOES A VAMP?
"That subtle something which stirs
mere man. It lifts him away from
his line until he is a slave to "A rag,
a bone and a hank of hair."
A glance, a word, perhaps a trace
of— But that's a state secret, it
causes that intangible presence which
lingers when the spell is cast.
The line has length but a Vamp
goes even unto the 4th dimension."
"Beer"
Sphinxette is quite unable to translate the above document. "Beer's"
reactions to questions seem to become
more complicated every week. But as
a steady contributor he is much appreciated.
FRFSHFTTA
No, my dear, even if you feel that
your line is exceptionally snappy, you
should not use it in the main hall. It
is very sad to see children who should
be studying, wandering round the corridors. Also it is a dead give-away.
If you have a crush, to haunt the hall
is the surest way of letting the whole
college know about it.
RU<"BY    FAN
Yes, of course I understand, but it
wasn't very tactful, was it? People
are apt to discover what happened at
High Jinks, you know.
SOPHELINE
It is too early in your friendship to
begin cutting lectures for him, my
child. That should come later—after
you have gone to the dance with him,
for instance. It is very sad to discover that you have wasted a lecture
on an unworthy object—you may need
it again and, of course, I can't advise
you to overcut.
AGRICULTURE
If you don't care particularly don't
try to explain. It can't be done. If
you do care, again, don't try to explain, but ask her out. There are
some good shows coming, "Dumbells"
and "The Four Horsemen of the
Apocalypse," for instance. Few girls
can resist the opportunity of being
taken to see either Captain Plunkett
or Rudolph Valentino. In fact if she
refuses you might as well decide that
all is over between you. Remember—
it is most important to ask her to
something she doesn't want to miss.
Then—if it seems necessary, you can
explain afterwards.
HELEN—
Ask him to tea on Sunday. It is
almost impossible to handle a line properly in the Cafeteria—especially
when the Theatre Night company is
rehearsing next door.
SPHINXETTE.
THE EFFECTS OF ONE BOTTLE
Tanlac—Yes. But with a difference.
If you feel the effects of one bottle
what will be the result of several
glasses? And if a chorus girl is the
tired science man's delight what can
a ferocious savage do to the heart of
a co-ed? Of course, a cook book isn't
necessary—there is a delightful uncertainty about l'homne roasted a la
mode—he may turn out to be almost
anything. Truly these are dark mysteries, my brethren, but much may be
revealed if one utters the magic word
—Zam Buk.
In other words, February 16th is
Theatre Night. Yes, we know we have
said that before but there are some
things that are worth saying twice—
and seeing twice. Of course you
can't see Theatre Night twice so be
sure not to miss it the first time. The
date? February 16th—don't forget
to keep that night open.
PLAYERS' CLUB NOTES
The cast for the spring play "Mr.
Pim Passes By," has been finally
chosen after many keenly contested
try-outs, and rehearsals are well
under way.
The leading roles are being taken
by Mr. Jack Clyne as "George Marden" and Miss Betty Somerset as
"Olivia." The young people's parts in
the play will be acted by Miss Geor-
gina McKinnon as "Diana," and Mr.
Wells Coates as "Brian." Other
parts have been assigned to Miss
Kirsteen Leverson—who acts the
part of the elderly but Energetic
aunt; Mr. Neil McCallum, "Mr. Pim";
Misses Isobel Miller and D. Holmes
act the role of the maid at alternate
performances.
Committees for the production of
the play are now being arranged. The
costume committee will be convehed
by Miss Eloise Angell while the properties committee is convened by
Miss Marjorie Agnew. Bob Hunter
has again taken over the duties of
business manager.
The play will be presented at the
Avenue Theatre in the early part of
March, and will run for a prolonged
period after the holidays in outside
cities.
...
Dr. and Mrs. A. F. B. Clark entertained last Saturday, Jan. 28, at a
delightful tea in their Kerrisdale home
in honor of the members of the Players' Club. Mrs. Wood and Miss D.
Jefferd poured and Miss Mclnnes cut
the ices.
LETTERS  CLUB
The Letters Club meeting on Tuesday night took the form of a discussion of Modern English Poetry. Brief
talks on various aspects of the subject were given by three members.
Miss Isobel Miller treated "Realism,"
Miss Sallee Murphy, "Free Verse,"
and Miss Annie Anderson, "Evolutionary Thought." The meeting was at
the home of Mrs. M. R. Stevenson, and
a good attendance proved the interest
of the members in the topic.
OPEN  DEBATE AT W. L. S.
The meeting of the Women's Lit.
in the Auditorium on Wednesday, Feb.
8, at 3.15, will take the novel form of
an open debate. Participants will be
at liberty to speak in support of either
the affiirmative or the negative of the
resolution, "Resolved, that a system
of separate education is preferable to
one of co-education." The decision
will be taken by a standing vote. All
women are urged to attend the meeting and to avail themselves of this
opportunity of gaining practice in
public speaking. Refreshments will
be served at the conclusion of the
debate by the women of Arts '23.
CHEMISTRY   SOCIETY
An interesting meeting of the
Chemistry Society was held on Tuesday, Jan. 31, in the Physics Lecture
Room.
Mr. C. Sivertz, Sc. '23, spoke briefly
on "Photo-engraving," tracing the
development of the art from its beginning to the present. He described
the preparation of various types of
plates for book and newspaper work.
Mr. Norman Bell spoke on "Aluminum." He outlined the process of
mining and purifying bauxite and the
electrolytic preparation of aluminum.
He then told of the properties and
advantages of the latter substance.
BIOLOGICAL DISCUSSION CLUB
The next meeting of the club will
be held Monday, February 6, at 7.45
sharp at the home of Miss Dunbar,
224 13th Ave. W. Miss Dunbar will
address the club on the subject of
"Hormones," and Mr. Blythe Eagles
will discuss "Catalysis and Enzymes."
Say It With Flowert
Cut Flowers and Funeral
designs a specialty
BROWN BROS &G0.LTD.
Two stores 48 Hastings St East
Phone Sey. 988 and 672
728 Granville St. Phone Sey. 9513
Evans & Hastings
"Better  Quality"
PRINTERS
We make a specialty of
College Annuals
Magazines
Ball Programmes
Etc, etc.
Students will do well to give us
a call before going elswhere.
578 Seymour Street
Phone Sey. 189
ED. DA MOTTA
Hair Cutting a Specialty
Expert Attendant
735 Broadway West
Phone F. 1760
Res. B. 2884Y
551 Broadway     V\
UNIVERSITY OF MANITOBA
HUDSON'S BAY COMPANY RESEARCH FELLOWSHIP
The above fellowship, of
the annual value fo $1,-
500.00, tenable at the University of Manitoba, in
any branch of pure or
applied science, open to
graduates of any Canadian University, will be
filled for 1922 about May
1st. Applications should
be in the hands of the
Registrar of Manitoba
University, Winnipeg,
Manitoba, by April 1st.
Further particulars on
application.    Address
THE REGISTRAR,
University of Manitoba,
Winnipeg, Manitoba. February 2nd, 1922
THE     UBYSSEY
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SPORT NEWS    #
FINAL INTERMEDIATE   HOCKEY
Varsity was unfortunate in losing
the final game to Nats as they had the
edge all the way but got none of the
breaks.
Nats pressed from the face-off,
Christie relieved and aided by Still-
well and Demedoff rushed Nat's defence. End to end rushes followed in
one of which Nats were dangerous but
missed an open shot. Christie and
Colton broke up many rushes and lead
many attacks on Nats' territory. Varsity pressed for a while but Nats
broke away and scored on a rebound
half a minute before time.
Second period started with a Varsity rush and found Nats bottled up
behind their own blue line. A nice
rush by Nats followed but Colton intercepted and carried the puck right
down the ice, missing on a curve shot
by a mere "dsc."
McCutcheon was stick-handling
well but held on to the puck too much
when he should have passed. Period
ended with Varsity pressing.
Nats pressed at start of 3rd period,
but Varsity soon started rushing
again, and passed up some good openings to score. McPherson came close
to scoring in this preiod, his luck
being consistent with the .run of Varsity's breaks.
Five minutes before time Nats
broke away and scored an easy goal.
Varsity kept up a torrid pace but the
game ended with the blue and gold
two goals down. Line-up: Clark,
Christie, Colton, Demedoff, Stillwell,
iucPherson, McCutcheon, Stewart.
On Wednesday, Jan. 25, Varsity
Junior Hockey team forced the Towers into a ten-minute overtime match,
losing the game in the last five minutes, the final score being 4-3. The
ice was poor but did not stop' both
teams from going at top speed.
Rear opened the scoring by an individual rush and bounced the puck
past the Towers' goalie. The Towers
soon evened up the score by a swift
clean shot from centre ice. In the
second period Cochrane again put
Varsity in the lead but again the
Towers evened the score. The Towers
were the first to score in the third
period but Cochrane soon made a neat
shot from centre ice.
In the first five minutes of over
time play neither team scored; in the
second five the Towers notched the
winning goal, making the final score
4-3. Varsity line-up was: Weir, Gug-
gerick, Rear, Cochrane, Lipsey, Mor
gan, Ross, Russell.
Saturday night, and yet another Sunday morning. The bunch that went
up by night were so enthusiastic over
the trip that probably much of the
climbing hereafter will be done by
buglight.
VARSITY   VS.  WESTMINSTER
UNITED
In the second round of the Mainland
Cup Tie, Varsity tied with Westminster. The game was played at Heather
Park, and it developed into a regular
mud-battle. Time and again, in the
first half, the ball was in the Westminster goal-mouth, but a jinx always
cleared. Cant notched the first goal
in the first three minutes of play. The
blue and gold clearly had the advantage in the first'half, but the second
half was a different story. The Westminster forwards pressed strongly,
seemed more at home on that sea of
mud, and the result was a goal. They
made many dangerous rushes, but our
defence was on the job, although to
Mosher goes the credit of many brilliant saves. The usual standard of
Varsity play seemed absent, the forward line did not work together, the
right wing was weak, and even the
backs showed a lack of form. However, the ground was in such terrible
condition, that good play was impossible. Although Mainland Cup ties
are supposed to be played overtime in
case of a draw, the referee decided
that the grounds were impossible for
further play. The game ended in the
score of 1-1, a very lucky score for
Varsity. The consensus of the spectators' opinion was "If Varsity had
played overtime, they would have lost
the game, because they seemed helpless in that mud." Next game our
full quota will be out, McLeod and
Cameron now being released from the
rugby squad, so we can confidently
hope for a different result. The team
was as follows: Mosher, Crute,
Baker, Emery, Buckley, Say, Calder,
Cant, Lundie, Jackson, and Rushbury.
N.B.—Rushbury, Jackson and particularly Buckley should be mentioned for their conspicuous devotion to
soccer, even when it meant a mud-
bath. Buckley so liked the latter, that
he rolled in it. (The condition of the
ground was due to a sewer pipe bursting the night before.)    Poor Buckley!
OUTDOOR  CLUB
The meeting of the club on Friday
resulted in the election of J. F. Walker
Sc. 22 as President. Johnny has been
the mainstay and moving spirit of the
club ever since its inception. It was
he who first urged the necessity of
building a cabin and it is due to his
untiring efforts both as an organizer
and worker that there is one now. It
seemed only fitting that the organization of which he has for so long been
the virtual head should, before he
leaves, recognize it in some way.
Other business on tap was the election of a Marshal. It was decided to
enlarge the office and to appoint two
lady marshals as well as two for the
men. Miss Mathews, Miss Gignac,
Charlie Evans and Henry Johnson
were appointed and will look after
arrangements for hikes for the remainder of the year.
The Club was well represented on
Grouse Mountain during the weekend. Three parties made the climb,
one on Saturday afternon, another on
McKECHNIE  CUP  GAME
(Continued from page 1)
The attempt to convert was unsuccessful and the final whistle blew immediately.
And so Varsity's first year in the
Provincial series sees them bring
home the championship after an exhibition of team play in advance of
anything previously shown this season.
The team — Fullback, Domoney;
three-quarters, McLeod, Penwill, Hunter, W. Cameron; five-eights, Ternan,
Buchanan; half, R. Cameron; forwards, Gwyther, Gross, Greggor,
Hodson, Bickell, Carlisle, Gunning.
VANCOUVER  CITIZENS'
CLUB CAFE
Invites you to try our special
BUSINESS MAN'S LUNCH, 50c
We  also  serve Table  DrHote
from 5:30 to 9
MUSIC AND DANCING
Banquets our Specialty
for smalt' and large parties.
We  also   have   Private   Dining   Rooms
PHONE SKY.  796
J. A. Flett Ltd.
Skating Goods
Rugby Goods
Soccer and Basket Balls
339 HASTINGS ST. WEST
Boys!
GO TO
Herman'8 Barber Shop
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Rogers  Bldg. 464  Granville
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Designs, suggestions and estimates fully and cheerfully submitted.
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STAMPED  GOODS   A  SPECIALTY
WE AIM TO PLEASE GIVE US A TRIAL
If we please you, tell others—If not, tell us.
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(Member  Pacific   Inter-Collegiate  Press
Association)
Issued   every   Thursday   by   the   Publications
Board of the University of  British Columbia.
Extra  mural   subscriptions,   $2.00   per   session.
For   advertising   rates,   apply   Advertising
Manager.
Phone Fair 5272
EDITORIAL   STAFF:
Editor-in-Chief. A.    H.    Imlah
Senior Editor A. L. Stevenson
Associate  Editors Miss  P.  1.  Mackay
II.   M.   Cassidy
A.   G.   Bruun
Exchange   Editor Miss   Sallie   Murphy
Sporting   Editor    D.   H.   Rae
Literary   Editors Miss   D.   Walsh
G.   I!.   Ridd enough
Chief   Reportei H.    B.    Cantelon
Reporters H.    C.    Ma'-Callum
Lucy  Ingram, Al.  Drennan
Censor. _ A.   McLean   Hurst
BUSINESS STAFF
Business Manager H. W. Johnson
Assistant   Business  Manager D.   B.  Hart
Advertising   Manager G.   F.   Hagelstein
Assistant P. Palmer
Circulation   Manager    C.    LTpshall
Editor for the Week Miss P. I. Mackay
February 2nd, 1922
Phone   Seymour
2114.
J.  F.
BURNS
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ling    Goods
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VANCOUVER,
anville         St.
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SHALL   WE   DRILL?
Since the abolition of the C.O.T.C.
at the close of the war there have been
many inquiries as to the military
training afforded students here, and
considerable astonishment expressed
that we have no Officers' Training
Corps. As a result of this President
Klinck appointed a committee to consider and report on the situation.
After carefully ascertaining the status
of a C. O. T. C. at this university, are
leges, and sounding the Militia Officials for their attitude, the committee
presented its report. It is there recommended that each male student in
The University of British Columbia
be asked to answer the following
question:
"In the event of the establishment
of a C. O. T. C. at this univresity, are
you prepared to enlist and become an
efficient member of the Corps?"
Cards bearing this question will be
handed out at tomorrow's meeting
and left in the hands of the students
for a week in order to permit the
fullest and frankest discussion of the
subject. If one hundred and fifty
favorable replies are received steps
will be taken to establish a corps. If
not, the Students' Council will be
asked to express an opinion as to what
the military policy should be.
As we see it there are three considerations which would affect our
decision in this matter. First, is
there any value in the military training one would receive in the C.O.T.C?
The movements can be learned fairly
quickly. But the habit of discipline
is much more essential yet much more
difficult to acquire. Very little of it
would be gained in two, or even three,
hours a week throughout the college.
Secondly, is there any physical advantage? Two years ago a correspondent pointed out through our columns that "Forming fours provided
the very minimum of exercise." But
route marches while not providing the
maximum of exertion might do something in that way and at the same
time help to form some conception of
discipline through 'esprit de corps.'
The third consideration is even less
tangible than the above, yet it is one
which University students will be
quick to recognize. It is simply this:
Would the inauguration of a C.O.T.C.
in our University be in keeping with
the spirit of the times ? We leave the
answer to the individual.
FRATERNITIES
Some of us at least have not forgotten a certain agitation which
shook these Halls of Learning nearly
a year ago. We refer, of course, to
the controversy regarding the place
of fraternities in the U. B. C. which
resulted in a general meeting of the
Student Body being called for March
22 last year.
It will be remembered that, as a
result of this meeting, a committee
was appointed with instructions to
probe thoroughly the question of fraternities, to solicit advice from other
and older Colleges, and to submit its
findings to the Alma Mater Society
in the form of a Report. This Report
has recently been drawn up, and has
been posted on the notice board for
general inspection.
It was also suggested at the above
meeting that the Constitution of the
Alma Mater Society be amended so
that these secret organizations within
the Student Body might be officially
recognized by the A. M. S. They
would, of course, be required to furnish the Student Council with a full
list of Members and Officers, and an
outline of their aims and objects. Such
a measure, it seems to us, might be
expected to appeal to the moderate
mind on both sides, and to provide a
suitable basis of adjustment for the
"frat" question.
It is probable that the matter of
fraternities will come up for discussion before a general meeting of the
Student Body in the .near future.
Before that time, it is our obvious
duty to familiarize ourselves with the
Report mentioned above. Let us preserve fair and open minds on this subject, and endeavour to refrain from
that bitterness of thought and speech
which proved such an unfortunate
feature of last year's discusion.
BY THE  WAY
A communication from the Registrar of the Dept. of Education in
Saskatchewan states that no wouid-be
teachers need apply for summer
schools. The provincial university
and nigh schools more than supply the
demand.
There have been no ideas for demonstrations for Theatre Nignt nanded in
to those in charge up to tne present.
Are there no ideas?    Get busy.
, SPORTING   STAFF
I The following students constitute
| the efficient reporting staff of the
; sporting department:
McLachian (Rugby), Cowx (Soccer), Kusnbury (Hocsey), a. Buchanan  (LsasKetDail).
STOP!      LOOK!      LISTEN!
The condition of that part of the
university site which is not covered
with* buildings would be a disgrace to
any back alley in the city. We are
not responsible for the buildings, but
the grounds are another matter. The
trench under the windows of the mens'
Common room and Locker room is
filled with lunch papers and bits of
old lunches.
Every time the decorations are
cleared out of the auditorium they are
dumped out the window on the shrubbery beneath. The bushes between
the various science buildings are
growing a good crop of garbage. Old
signs are thrown about promiscuously.
The result may be seen any day by
walking around the "Campus" with
your eyes open.
This is a state of affairs which only
needs te be mentioned to be eliminated. Look around, then act accordingly.
SIR ROBERT FALCONER TO ADDRESS
CONGREGATION
The University at large will be
pleased to know that Sir Robert Falconer has accepted President Klinck's
invitation to deliver the principal address at congregation.
This address will mean much to the
University for Sir Robert is one of
the best known educational leaders in
Canada, being President of the University of Toronto. While he is on
the coast he will go to Seattle and
deliver an address at the University
of Washington. Sir Robert, while he
is here, will be royally entertained—
and will be the guest of honor at a
reception and dinner given by the
B. C. alumni of the University of
Toronto.
Sir Robert has been the recipient of
many honors from Universities
throughout the Empire and has lately
received a D. C. L. from Oxford and
D.D. degree from Edinburgh.
PRESIDENT KLINCK TO TOUR INTERIOR
uuuer  tne auspices  oi  tne   university  Extension   Committee,  President
iUmck lelt oa Wednesday for a prolonged tour of the interior.    President
Klmck will speak in the interests of
the  University and will enueavour to
arouse   a   feei.ng   for   the   University
throughout the province.   He will visit
i.. .. ^   „j  x   ......4y  interior uwns and
will deliver addresses at Golden, In-
veil"c»c,    x' emie,    uianuiuu..,      ii.oot-
enay Landing, Nelson,  West Robson,
Arrowhead, Kevelstoke and Kamloops.
Dr. Hutcninson, in a conc.se and
clear talk explained to the students
Christian lViovement, the relation of
Christianity to Evolution, in a meeting of tnat organization on ivioiiuay.
THE    AGGIE    DaNCu
The Agriculture dance is one of the
major functions that are tne most
looked forward to events oi tne season.
In order to make the affair as enjoyable as possible to ail, the following request cue issued:
1. Immediately on arrival proceed to
the main noor—please aon t hang
round the entrance and the stairway.
Remember, gins, many of your special
friends either aon t see you or can't
get near you to book that anticipated
dance when ail crowd togetner in the
hall corridor.
2. Gins' programmes are divided
into lour batcnes, A, B, C, D (each
programme clearly marked), m^n's
programmes have a special column
for rendezvous. In order to avoid any
congestion, missing of dances, or delayed "get-aways," girls are requested to stay under their respective rendezvous; and the men, not to omit to
put down tne rendezvous when they
book the dance.
3. Previous to supper there will be
a Grand March, led by the patronesses. Get into nne quickly, and it will
not be long before everybody is seated
and enjoying delicious chicken sandwiches.
PREJUDICED
Her friends  may praise   her   to   the
skies,
With all the virtues they may clothe
her;
She may appeal to other eyes,
But  not  to  mine—I  simpiy  loathe
her.
Oh, no! she's never injured me,
—In fact, I don't know much about
her—
Yet still I feel this world would be
Far more agreeable without her.
I hate the way she does her hair;
For  that  alone  they  should  arrest
her—
I'm prejudiced?    Oh, I don't care!
I know it's wrong, but I detest her.
To like her face one must be blind;
Her voice is like a nutmeg-grater.
—And don't say, "Nancy, you're unkind!"
Perhaps I am, but I just hate her!
Nancy Lee, Arts '24. February 2nd, 1922
THE     UBYSSEY
Select your
Valentine Cards
and Novelties
now while our selection
is large
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STATIONERS, LTD.
Booksellers & Stationers
Sey. 5119 683 Granville St.
SPECIAL PRICES
on
STUDENT'S PICTURES
5x8  size   $13.00 doz.
4x6  size   $10.00 doz.
3x4V2  size  ....$ 8.00 doz.
These   price   have   not   risen
from last year.    Same price and
same quality.
Bridgman's Studio
413 Granville Street
Confidence
is a most valuable asset to
every University Student ; it
is the main factor in every
successful career. Confidence
in our ability to produce only
the very highest grade of the
printing art at a reasonable
figure has brought this firm
to its present successful stage.
(ft
Lionel Ward & Co.
LIMITED
Phone Sey. 195
318 Homer. St.    Vancouver, B. C.
The Ferns
Come to Smylie's and smile
because our prices are so reasonable. Fruits and Confectioneries     and     Tobacco.
S. G. SMYLIE
577 BROADWAY WEST
The Best Gift
Ladie's are particularly fond
of a box of McDonald's Fine
Chocolates.
McDonald
888   Granville
%Block   South   of   Capitol
AU correspondence must be written legibly,
on one side of the paper only, and may be
signed by a pen-name, bat mast be accompanied   by  the   name  and  class  of the  writer.
AN   APPROPRIATE (?)   EMBLEM
University of British Columbia,
January 28, 1922.
Editor "Ubyssey"
Dear Mr. Editor,—I was greatly interested in
a letter in your last issue by E. S. F. '23
concerning the matter of a college emblem,
but think that he is on the wrong track. A
Moose or a Bull track.
In these days of disarmament and peace,
that there is one in our col lege who could
think of our having an emblem with such a
martial bearing and of such avowed pugnacity
is to me a severe blow. But perhaps I am
showing the wrong spirit in thus criticising
one who no doubt thinks that his idea is as
good if not better than mine, so I state my
idea and let you, Mr. Editor, and the rest of
the college judge.
My suggestion is that we have a "Hot Dog
Rampant on a Field of Bread."
This on the outside may seem to be a poor
emblem to include "every quality desirable in
our college," but when you look into the situation or get within your system all that is
included in the "Hot Dog" you no doubt will
think  differently.
Let us take first the word in the Emblem,
"Hot." It is a sign of all that Exuberance of
youth, that spirit of reform for which any
live college is noted; that enlightened optimism that in time past has set the world on
fire. Or as the Good Book has it, "Thou art
neither hot nor cold, therefore will I spew
thee out of my mouth."
And who will say that the conception of a
dog does not include all these qualities of
faithfulness of duty, of tenderness, of affection that should be the mainstay of any youth
going out into the cold, cold world.
Then to consider the Field of Bread. In
these days of economic upheaval what could
be more appropriate than having included in
our emblem that staff of life to the working
man, that symbol of outraged justice.
Hoping that this will find favor with students and E, S.  F., I remain,
Yours in hope for a "Hot Dog,"
CASSIUS.
"AMONG   THOSE   PRESENT ..."
Editor Ubyssey:
Dear Sir,—I feel that the time is ripe for
some mention to be made of the ridiculous
manner in which certain of our daily paprs
report the activities of the organizations under
the Alma Mater Soc. of the University. Often
the facts are not there and the details are so
tar-fetched that it is evident that some would-
be reporter is practising the art of "plugging."
The Society columns are the most evident
examples of plugging that could be quoted.
Not so many days ago one of the papers published an advance report of the dance of the
Agriculture Undergraduate Soc. The excutive
of this organization was not interviwed at all,
and consequently the incorrect nature of the
report. There was a long list of the invited
guests and not one person had at the time
been invited and there was also a list of the
patrons and patronesses which was wholly
incorrect.
On Tuesday last I noted that among those
noticed at the "Varsity-Rowing Club game on
Saturday, were —" etc. If my memory serves
me right I believe that the game was between
Varsity and the Van. Rep. team.
The above are but two glaring examples of
the incorrectness of the reports and their
unofficial nature I would like to point out
that these reports are not made by the organizations responsible for the functions. I do
not believe that they are made by regular
reporters on the staff of the papers in question and I have every reason to believe that
they are made by students who desire to make
a   little   extra  pin-money.
If this latter be true and I am not at all
certain that it is not, well surely these students have enough interest in the University
and its welfare to at least report the events
in the  proper manner.
Aside from the effect of creating the general impression that there are far too many
social functions at the University, no person
delights in seeing his or her name in two lists
at the same time for functions which were
neld the evening before or which are to be
held at some future date or both. I do not
oelieve that anybody would favor the publication of his or her name in connection with
any  report of any social functions.
I am arranging interviews with the various
Society Editors of the papers with a view to
ascertaining for certain who does the reporting of the above mentioned events so that the
Students Council may place the responsibility
for them upon those who make them.
PAUL N. WHITLEY,
Pres. A. M.  S.
SEDITION    IN    OUR   SONG-BOOK
Editor, Ubyssey:
Sir,—My attention has recently been drawn
to a matter which I feel sure has escaped the
attention of the University authorities and of
right-thinking students. It is a matter of
very grave importance and affects the well-
being, not only of our University but of our
Country. As a sincere wellwisher of the University I feel it my duty to direct your attention to matters vitally concerning the progress
of  that   institution.
As a patrotic citizen I was intensely gratified to note the laudable zeal with which the
University authorities suppressed radical propaganda among the students. In this connection we owe a debt of gratitude to the British
Empire Weekly for its patriotic exposure of
seditious and SOCIALISTIC activities among
the students. I had thought the University
well purged of such seditious and subversive
influences. But I have been disillusioned, as
I shall proceed to show.
A few days ago I chanced to hear my
nephew, a fine wholesome lad, singing a very
indecorous and irreverent song, one line of
which went something like this:
"Hallelujah, I'm a bum-bum, Hallelujah
bum again "
I have since discovered that this song is a
part of one used by the I. W. W. I questioned
my nephew and was informed that this sacre-
ligious song is widely used by college students.
Am I right, Sir, in my information? If so,
do you think it right or fitting that the University to which is entrusted the moulding and
the upbringing of a nation's leaders should
countenance the singing of such songs, songs
that are irreverent, indecent, and unbecoming
to  young  ladies  and gentlemen.
Need I expatiate on the seriousness of this
fact. Here we find University students imbibing at the formative period of life the
subversive and immoral doctrines of such an
organiation as the' I. W. W. Who does not
know of that infamous crew of incendiaries
and assassins ; who is not aware of the crimes
and atrocities which it has committed in a
spirit of wanton criminality? This is the
thin edge of the radical wedge . The slimy
serpent of BOLSHEVISM is insinuating its
perverted ideas and misguided beliefs into our
Universities and corupting the youth, the hope
of the nation. This is but one example of the
sugar-coated SYNDICALISM with which the
young students of our colleges are being infected.
It is with a reluctance overmastered by a
sense of civic and national duty that I present these unvarnished facts for the consideration of faculty and students. It is the duty
of every right thinking student and citizen
to expose and defeat these endeavours to corrupt the youth of the country by instilling in
them these pernicious and revolutionary doctrines, immediate action to rectify this regret-
able state of affairs is necessary, if the University is to win the confidence of the loyal
and patriotic citiens of this city and province,
upon whose support the moving of the University to its permanent home at that incomparable  site   at   Point  Grey  depends.
Confident that every sane and right thinking
person   will   act   in    accordance    with    these
heartfelt injunctions and admonitions, I am,
Your fervent well-wisher,
PRO BONO PUBLICO.
TACKLE THIS ONE
The Editor, "Ubyssey":
Dear Sir,—I read in the last issue the article
on College Symbols, and humbly suggest as
one for our own college—the salmon. The
four college years could each be assigned a
stage in the life of the fish—Spawn for
Freshies, Minnows for Sophs., Trout for Juniors, and a name, as sockeye, for the seniors.
Our Christmas grads. could appropriately be
called—canned fish The salmon takes four
years to attain that stage where it will be of
use to the world, and so do we in the college.
The salmon is famous as a sporting fish,
always fighting till the last. Our teams have
made themselves famous also, and are known
for their fighting spirit^ The fish idea is not
new to the college as we have already given
it a prominent place in one of our best yells—
"Catfish," so why not have it as a symbol?
POOR FISH.
EDITOR'S   NOTE
Owing to lack of space, a letter
which throws a new light on the
Rugby discussion will not be published
till next week.
BOARD   OF   GOVERNORS   PRESENTS   CUP
At the meeting of the Board of
Governors last Monday night, sanction was given for the presentation
of a cup for interclass sports. The
Governor's Cup will be presented to
the Champion Class and although the
methods of competition have not been
finally decided upon they will include
the Track Meet, Arts '20 Relay,
Rugby, Tug-of-War. The presentation of the cup was decided upon by
unanimous vote of the Board who
have a whole-hearted interest in
sports, of all kinds.
Blue Irish
Serge Suits
Single and Double-Breasted
in Young Men's Styles
Specially Priced
$35.00
Thos. Foster & Co.
Ltd.
(Fashion Graft Shop)
One store only 514 Granville St,
Sports Stuff
Most of the uniforms and
equipment you see in the different varsity athletic fields
are from Lisle Fraser's.
The way the men look in
their suits shows you the care
that is taken to get proper
lines as well as quality.
You can always talk to
Fraser about equipment for
any game.
Lisle Fraser
Sporting Goods Dealer
Cor. Robson and Granville
Streets
When Wanting Nice
Things to Eat
CUSICK
CAN SUPPLY YOUR WANTS
From the very finest Chocolates,
Home-made Candy, Ice Cream and
Soft Drinks, Pastries, and such like,
to the daintiest little Dinner and Light
Lunch you ever ate.
Make sure you go to Cusick.
Cor. Heather and Broadway, West THE     UBYSSEY
Langtry & Co.
MERCHANT TAILOR
Direct Importer of
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$25 up
ESTABLISHED 16 YEARS
Your Inspection
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OF OUR LINE
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CIGARS
TOBACCO   POUCHES
CIGARETTES, ETC.
MOIR'S   AND   GANONG'S
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Handy Shop
999 BROADWAY  WEST
Students!
Try the
BUNGALOW
Cor. Dunsmuir and Seymour St.
HATS-
We are showing Velour
Hats in all the good shades,
at $8.00 each.
This is about half the price
of a year ago.
Hatters and Haberdashers
Turpin Bros., Ltd.
623 Granville St.
HABERDASHERS & HATTERS
(Continued from page 1)
and the would-be actors are drilling
hard to make it a roaring success.
Friday night has been left open—
and the big week comes to a close
with the Basketball games in the
Normal gym. Two league games are
scheduled and there will also be a
Students' Council vs.  Faculty affair.
During the week a tug-of-war competition will be staged on Tuesday,
Wednesday, Thursday and Friday
noons—and each class will have a
chance to demonstrate the strength
of its pull.
SOME PATHFINDERS OF THE
B. C. HINTERLAND
Dr. M. S. Wade of Kamloops, in
making this early history his own
particular study, has taken advantage
of the many opportunities that have
come his way to become familiar with
the facts and fancies associated with
the pioneers of this land that is still
so little known to the world at large.
On Thursday of this week he will
favor the Vancouver Institute with an
account of some of the incidents in
this early history, taking for his subject, "Some Pathfinders of the B. C.
Hinterland."
DRAMATIST   OF   DREAMS
"Here is a man to whom dreams
are the dearest things in life, because
he has known the awful reality of
facts." In these words from the
"Poetic Review," Professor F. G. C.
Wood, on Thursday evening before
the Vancouver Institute, opened an
address on Lord Dunsany. The speaker sketched the Irish dramatist's life.
Then, in vivid readings from "The
Gods of the Mountains" and other
plays, he transported his audience into
the remote land beyond the realm of
facts, where Dunsany loves to place
his dramas.
WILLAMETTE DEBATE TRY-OUTS
As a result of the try-outs held on
Friday afternoon, the honor of being
the first U. B. C. women to take part
in an intercollegiate debate falls to
Miss Dorothy Walsh and Miss Sallee
Murphy, both of Arts '23. These two,
chosen from the nine contestants by
Dr. Eastman, Dr. Boggs, and Dr. MacDonald,' will represent U. B. C. at
Willamette University, Salem, Oregon, on February 24, when they will
uphold the negative of the resolution,
"Resolved that the Western nations
and Japan are justified in refusing to
relinquish the territorial rights in
China which they hold by treaty." To
assist the two debaters in the preparation of material for the debate, the
judges appointed Mrs. Ida Breeze,
Arts '23, Miss Grace Smith, Arts '23,
and Miss Helen McGill, Arts '25.
February 2nd, 1922
Party Slippers for Young Collegians
To be consistent in the adopting of
the Slogan—"Vancouvers Smartest
Shoe Store" we carry the smartest
styles   and   give   a   service   in   keeping.
Take for instance Party Slippers—
and we include footwear for both sexes.
You'll always find us right up to the
minute  in   Correct   models.
So we invite the Young College
Ladies and the Young College Gentlemen to make "Ingledew's" their shoe
headquarters.
The quality—the fit—the style—the
prices of your shoes, will appeal to
your good judgment in  every instance.
THE INGLEDEW   SHOE CO.
"Vancouver's  Smartest   Shoe  Store"
666 GRANVILLE  ST.
The Literary Corner
NIGHTFALL
Lingeringly the last faint gleams
from Apollo's chariot of fire faded in
the west. Wistfully the little evening
breeze sighed itself into silence.
Trustfully the last drowsy bird tucked
its head under its wing. Tenderly
the Goddess of Darkness enveloped in
her mantle every living thing. Creation slept. Night brooded over the
earth.
•    •    •
DAWN
Coldly beautiful lay the Earth,
veiled in her gauzy robe of misty
grey, and caressed by a faint glow of
rosy light from the East. The silence
of sleep lay like a pall upon Her * *
Gradually, the deepening eastern glow
brought from Her drowsy songsters a
languid twitter. Then again silence
Suddenly ten thousand swords
of flame rent the veil of shadow; ten
thousand lifeless dewdrops sprang
into brilliant, scintillating beauty;
ten thousand birds chirped, twittered,
trilled, and burst into glorious adoring melody. Earth was awakened.
Once more she had experienced the
eternal marvel of resurrection.
La Chercheuse.
Resolved—
"That Japan and the Western nations are justified in refusing to relinquish the territory of China which
they hold by treaty"	
FROM PEKING TO MANDALAY
Reference books and magazines,
pamphlets old and new,
China wants Shantung again—that is
very true.
It is hard to study, hard to care what
they may do
When words can weave a magic spell
and steal your thoughts from you.
Looking down the  list of works—
problems of today
Fill  the world with writers—for a
moment my eyes stray
From  "Politics" to "Travel" and before I turn away
Catch a volume's title "From Peking
to Mandalay."
Gleam of jade and amber—breath of
cherry-blossom time,
Calling of the temple bells, a far-off
golden chime,
Broken hints of melody from men of
every ciime
Who have caught the woven mystery
of Eastern lands in rhyme.
Goodbye to  Shantung's problems.    I
can work no more today,
For  words  have  wrought their  spell
again and I am far away,
Where dying   sunlight   lacquers   red
some tiny Chinese bay
And I am sailing—sailing from
Peking to xuandaiay.
S. M.
NAMES
To night I sit reading
A map of China before me.
To-night I must study
Political and economic conflict
Of China with other nations.
The Book that I read
Is full of beautiful names,
Chinese ambassadors and ministers.
They do not suggest- government,
They suggest wisteria blossoms
Floating down waters.
I am drowsed with incense,
Stealing from blue temples,
And the time goes.
How soon I could fin;.sh my work
If the Chinese ministers
Did not have such names!
D. W.
9M Brwdmr W. Phone Bay. 906
JOHN  SHEARER,  M.A.
PRIVATE   TUTOR
Office Hours   10:00  a.m.  to  3:00 p.m.
Midway
Pharmacy
Cor. Broadway and Heather St.
W. H. Caldwell, Prop.
Phone Fair. 84*
PRESCRIPTIONS A SPECIALTY
Exercise Books
Looseleaf Covers
and Refills
Waierman's Pens
Eversharp Pencils
(Hafrtma
T
Lunches and Teas
Catering      Dance Suppers
Special Dinner -       45c
Special Lunch -      25c.
Dishes from -    10c up
▼
A. Walter, Mgr.
J. W. Fofter
Limited
TWO STORES
Society   Brand   Clothes
Shop
Rogers Bldg., 450 Granville
Fit-Reform   Wardrobe
345 Hastings Street, West
Clothes  for Young Men and Men
Who Stay Young February 2nd, 1922
THE     UBYSSEY
Orpheum Circuit
Orpheum
"The Best In Vaudeville"
Attractions    Coming    Mon.
Mat., Jan. 30
2:30—Two Shows Daily—8:20
SPECTACULAR — STUPENDOUS
— THRILLING
The   FOREST   FIRE   SCENE   provides
the  greatest   thrill   ever   attempted
upon the stage.
Langdon   McCormick's   Spectacular
Melodrama
"The Storm"
With  EDWARD  ARNOLD
run in London, New York and Chicago,
First time in  Vaudeville  after its  long
with   all    its    stupendous   scenery    and
electrical effects.	
BILL  ROBINSON
The Dark Cloud of Joy
Vincent—BEDFORD and
WINCHESTER—Gene
In "Versatile Nonsense"
An Ingenious Combination of
Comedy and Novelty
GORDON BOSTOCK'S
TEDESTRIANISM'
Featuring    GEORGE    N.   BfROWN,
World's Champion Walker.	
JESS LIBONATI
SYNCOPATION  SUPREME
Burt Gordon and Gene Ford
In "Recital Classique"
Pierce Keegan and Marjorie
O'Rourke
In "A Little of This and That"
Topics   of   the   Day—Aesop's
Fables, Canadian Pathe News
YOUR SKATES:-
Keep them in good condition by allowing an expert
to sharpen them.
Bicycle  Repairing a Specialty
HARRY CARTER
632 Broadway, West
One-half   Block   East   of   Heather
THE
Green Lantern
Cor. 1st and Maple
Hall to rent   -   Ballroom
Dancing Taught
Phone Bayview 2244
MUCK-A-MUCK
"To suckle fools and chronicle   small   beer."
OO zoo
LUKE  JOSEfiiUS  FILCHER
Mr. Filcher is one of the best known
men about the place. He has been
known to work 7 to 11 every day and
then all night looking after a full
house he got by raising two and then
drawing three. He is the personification of self-denial and always to spot
you 50. As a stage director he is admirable and has managed to introduce
rugby methods of training into ladies'
basketball. He knows a little Philosophy and less English.
ARTS    SMOKER
I dreamed last night that I was ill:
A "fag" danced on my window sill,
And out beyond and through the haze
I saw a cabbage leaf ablaze.
I turned—I felt my stomach gripe—
And there on the bed a corn cob pipe
Was sleeping with a half-dead match.
I closed my eyes, I grabbed my thatch,
I tried to shriek, I tried to cry—
Two fighting men went sliding by.
I heard a viol, I heard a drum,
I saw a boy cut off his thumb.
I heard a song, I saw a dame,
I saw some things I cannot name.
I saw a deck of cards, and then
I heard a tinkle, I saw some men—
The other things I'll leave untold—
When I woke up the night was cold.
T' Bee.
Some people at a public gathering
might be a little more careful not to
disturb the rest with their little private game.
* *   *
However, one of them did contribute
something.
Played the Clerical Fool to perfection.    Contributed by "HSDFMW."
* *    *
However, it was the best yet. Johnnie was there but not Walker.
THINGS   WE  WOULD   LIKE   TO   KNOW
Who was the girl in the rugby
sweater who wore the small black
mustache ?
Why Doc. S. missed the first act?
Why was Thompson's hat?
Where Kydd learned to roll 'em?
How many freshmen were sick?
Who broke the glass in the skylight?    (And was it a flashlight.)
Who lent them? and how on earth
did they manage to collect so many?
But, isn't her hair bobbed?
HIGH   JINKS
No I guess we had better not. It
was no place for a mere man.
I would not be so bare faced as to
mention it.
• *    *
FACT
There was a young lady G	
Tried out as a bareback rider;
Off came her C	
Flew out on the breeze
But the rest I think I should hide, Eh ?
• •    •
We did not see the Sheik but we
heard about her.
• *    •
FIGURE   THIS    ONE
"22" outlaws were forced to hop it
for about 4 hours. There was as lively
a 'time as some of them ever hope to
experience again.
* •    •
"Lord Dunsay was a very ordinary
man in that he married."
We presume that the author of this
remark is a very extra ordinary man.
Did you ever
Realize
Just how many
Real lies
A classy pair of
Real eyes
Can register
WE ARE NOT THE ONLY ONES
"The Student goes into the library
to keep from flunking,
Comes out to keep from freezing."
• *    •
Senior editor: Here, take this story
and rewrite it so any ignorant boob
can understand it.
Chief reporter:    What part   of   it
was it you didn't understand?
•    •    •
A lazy man is no worse than a dead
one.   But he takes up more room.
• •    •
NO, WE DO  NOT TAKE ENGLISH
Doc. Sedgwick calls his class a Seminar. I thot Seminar was a girl's
finishing school.
• •    •
In Doc's Seminar everybody gets
together and discusses what they
know most about. The rest of them
talked about Arnold. Stevenson and I
talked about Beer.
—Stolen.
• •    •
Did you hear of the man who kept
square with his Uncle by watching his
ante?
•     •     »
"WOMEN SHINE IN DISPLAY OF SPEECH
MAKING."
"Headline"
Left their powder puffs outside.
• *   *   *
Report from the Science 0 Pip:
The meek and mild ones roil their
own.
•    •    •
We had one contribution to our poem:
"What of the Jazz when the night is
o'er?
There is no trace or sign
Save where the wreckage moves
through the door—
The lady, the lad with the line.
• *    •
THE  EVOLUTION   OF   WOMEN
or The View of the Casual Observer.
1820
"Where are   you   going,   my   pretty
maid?"
"I'm going a-milking, kind sir,"   she
said.
"May I go with you, my pretty maid?"
"No, sir!   We're not introduced!" she
said.
1920
"Hey, kid!    Where are  you blowing
today?"
"To   dance,   you   boob!    Now   don't
get gay!"
"May I hang on   while   you   terpsi-
chore?"
"Break in!    Get wise!    Don't say no
more!"
2020
Simple and sweet was her Smile that
night,
Sweet as the dawn's waking breeze;
Soft was her speech,   without   guile
that night—
But she'd   too   much   rouge   on   her
Knees.
—Adapted.
• *   •
I have seen Aphrodite, The Queen
of Sheba, etc., etc. I have also seen
a rehearsal of Robinson Crusoe and
let me tell— No, wait till Theatre
Night.
• •   «
Did anybody see Paul Whitley at
the smoker or at the Hockey game?
Or was he with a certain bunch of
Science men at a roofing party. Information solicited.
i   t   ?
She:    Did you ever hand me a line ?
He:    No, but don't ask me again.
AFTER   THE   ARTS   '22   PARTY
Spex (in the so'itude of his private
lab.):   "I ain't nobody's darting."
Miss F-t-n. (From the door): "So
I hear."
New Shoes
for Men $6.85
Introducing Spencer's
"FOOT MOULDS" a special
style boot built for us, comprising four, real, up-to-date
lasts; every one a niter.
These shoes are made in
widths irom B to D and sizes
5 to 12, so that almost every
foot can be correctly fitted.
Made of rich, dark brown;
also medium and black calfskin, with light or medium
weight soles ; also heaay winter weight bottoms ; genuine
Goodyear welted process. For
this grade of footwear you
have been paying $10 to $12,
and we feature them as a concrete illustration of Spencer's
price-adjusting policy, and
have marked them <2J*C Q C
to sell at   ^>0.03
David Spencer
Ltd.
SOUVENIRS-
We carry one of the largest
lines of Indian Burnt Leather
Goods, Moccasins and Baskets in the city; also Beads,
Purses and Hand Bags; View
Books, Post Cards and Novelties of all kinds. Your inspection invited.
PYOTT'S
624 Granville Street
Vancouver, B. C.
Corsetlettes and
Girdlettes
For dancing or sports wear. Also specially desirable for High School
and College Girls.
The Corsetlette and Girdlette combine a
bandeau and abdominal confiner. bas four
hose supporters so placed as to give an
unbroken line from shoulder to knee.
The Girdlette extends only to the waist
line, almost without boning, but is shaped
to fit the figure.
These models come in different lengths
and are all elastic or combination of pink
brocade and elastic; satin and elastic and
treco. All sizes at $2.25, $2.75,
SS.OO to $S.OO.
—Drysdale's Corset Shop. First Floor.
UMITIO
575  Granville Street 8
THE     UBYSSEY
February 2nd, 1922
The Washington team is the first
real college nine that ever landed in
Japan. The Sun Dodger baseball
squad arrived home in December,
after winning twenty-four out of
thirty-one games from various Japanese college teams. They were the
guests of Waseda University while in
that country.
—University of Washington Daily.
In ten months' time Sun Fo '16, a
former student of the University of
California and son of Dr. Sun Yat
Sen, the President of China, has
transformed the city of Canton from
a relic of the middle ages to a modern, sanitary and well-governed city.
Recording the principal events of
the college career by the use of movies is a plan started at Princeton.
Last fall the class of '21 began taking
pictures of its members for use at
reunions in later years, and at present
the senior class is doing likewise. All
interesting features and events that
have occurred during the four years
will be reproduced in the movies.—The
Daily Californian.
University of Arizona.—A bill has
been laid before the House of Representatives of the University which, if
passed, will grant bronze A's to reporters on the staff of the University
paper. Since the editor and heads of
the departments get gold and silver
A's and a unit for each semester's
work, while the staff reporters get
only their practice with no other incentive, this question has been
brought before the House of Representatives with the sincere backing of
the entire Wildcat Staff.
AGGIE   CLASSES   CELEBRATE
Last Thursday evening all the followers of good King Terpischore, from
the Freshman and Sophomore classes
of the faculty of agriculture, gathered at Laurel. After the welcome
interlude for supper, a quaint magician appeared and did tricks mystic
and marvellous. At the end of this
performance the voice of "Wilky"
was heard saying "Let us dance and
be merry," and all the throng echoed
aye. /
(It was noticed that certain members of the class of Horace and the
tribe of Arts appeared after the repast and demolished the fragments
and nectar that was left.)
ARTS '22 ENJOYS DANCE AT
KILLARNEY
Snappy music, rich warm lights,
gay laughter! That is what charac
terized the dance at Killarney last
Tuesday night when Arts '22, whose
parties are rapidly becoming famous,
celebrated the most successful affair
of the season. Even Mr. and Mrs.
De Long couldn't resist slipping down
stairs and joining in the fun. Every
body was happy, everybody looked
nice, everybody was dancing. Mr.
Hurst made an excellent "Medley
crier" with his huge tin whistle, and
it was exciting when he announced
"ladies' rush," to see the men huddled
together trying to look indifferent,
while the pretty things fluttered
nearer and nearer.
When the lights were lowered for
the moonlight, one young gentleman's
voice was heard in shrill vociferations
of outraged propriety, "I'll scream!
I'll scream!" However, on his partner
protesting earnestly that her intentions were harmless he consented to
proceed. Later on in the evening another eminent individual was seen
drawing pictures on the back of his
partner's programme to illustrate how
her nose curved when she laughed,
Probably it was the result of the
punch.
The patrons and patronesses—Mrs.
and Dr. Sedgwick, Dr. and Mrs. Mac
Donald and Mr. Angus — entered
heartily into the spirit of the evening.
The class would like also to express
gratitude to the ever hard-working
executive, especially Mr. McAfee, who
spares no energies beforehand and
whose complete self-forgetfulness during the evening is largely responsible
for the reputation Arts '22 has gained
for the friendliest and most attractive
dances of the year.
"AGGIE" DISCUSSION CLUB
The regular meeting of the Agriculture Discussion Club was held on
Wednesday, Jan. 25, in the Auditorium. In the absence of the President,
Mr. W. J. Riley, Mr. S. S. Phillips
occupied the chair.
r
At J. N. Harvey's Stores for Men
Men of the U. B. C.
Here we have an old friend back again,
bought by us for you, a pure wool blue serge
in a good weight and guaranteed fast color
indigo dye—such as you were accustomed to
buy in pre-war days.
The blue suits sold at $75 and $85 in 1920
were only poor imitations of this quality.
As a SPECIAL OFFER we will make suits
of this cloth to your measure if you mention
this advt. for
$39.50
or suits from stock made from same material
for
$34.50
«£o»
J. N. HARVEY LTD.
123-127 HASTINGS STREET WEST
Also Yates Street, Victoria
Look for the Big Red Arrow Sign
CLASSICS   CLUB
A very enjoyable evening was spent
at the home of Prof, and Mrs. Robertson last Monday evening when the
regular meeting of the Classics Club
was held. Miss Catherine Rees and
Miss M. E. Bell, both of Arts '23, read
very interesting papers on various
phases of Roman Life. After an interesting discussion refreshments
were served.
THE  SMOKER  AS THE  GIRLS SEE  IT HIGH JINKS AS THE HEN SEE IT
A. M. U. S.   SMOKER
(Continued from page 1)
Doc. Sedgwick in his speech waxed
sentimental even to the point of quoting poetry. Doc's speech ended the
proceedings, and the men of Arts,
thoroughly permeated with smoke,
Apple Cider (?) and jazzy hallucinations, voted the second annual Arts'
Smoker a sizzling humdinger.
U. B. C. ABROAD
Charlie Wright of Sc. '17 and former President of the Alma Mater, now
carries around with him a B.Sc.
(Brit. Col.) M.Sc. (Brit. Col.), and
Ph.D. (McGill). He got his Doctor's
degree last spring and also won the
Ramsay Memorial Scholarship. Dr.
Wright, or "Chas" as he would prefer to be called, is now carrying on
postgraduate work at University College, London, England.
Chas. is still single and we believe
he will manage to hold out till he
again reaches America.
Bill Sutcliffe of Arts '19, and also
former President of the Alma Mater
is still at Harvard. There he indulges
in the study of Economics, and incidentally passed on some of his knowledge to the fair sex at Simmons College near Harvard. As a dashing
young bachelor he seems to enjoy this
part of his course and can we blame
him when he has 1800 young ladies
who are equally delighted to listen to
our Bill.
Bill is fast climbing the ladder for
his Ph.D. and, the weather being fair,
should reach the top this spring, when
we hope he will once more hit the
trail for B. C.
From previous accounts, we understand that Bill will obtain two degrees
this spring, his Ph.D. and— well, we
will just whisper it, for it's confidential you understand, so don't tell anyone. Yes, it is true, for although Bill
is not yet a married man, neither is
he single. Our heartiest congratulations, Bill, old boy.
English  K
Brogues and Boots
Slater's Invictus
Talbot's
Just Wrights
The   best   of   the
Well Known
Standard Makes
SHOES for YOUNG MEN
Quality Shoes for Men only from $7.00 and up.
See our College and Varsity lasts, Brogues,  Saddle  Straps and
other new shapes and styles for fall.
MACEY-WILSON SHOE CO. LTD.
419 GRANVILLE  STREET
•VIC-TU9
LIONEL   WARD    &   CO.,    LTD.      PRINTERS

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