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The Ubyssey Jan 15, 1937

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 McGoun  Debate  Tonight   For Intercollegiate   Trophy
®lf_> MllUBHrU
Published Twice Weekly by the   Publications Board of the University of British Columbia
Vol. XIV
VANCOUVER, B. C, FRIDAY, JANUARY 15, 1937
No. 23
LEACOCK ADVOCATES GOOD
KNOWLEDGE OF ALPHABET
League Undergoes
Reprimands From
Debating Dons
Sedgewick and Angus Draw
Oood Crowd to Hear First
Professorial Encounter
Tho League of Nations under*
wont asvsre verbal reprimands in
tho auditorium on Tuaaday noon
wbsn Dr. O. O. Bsdgswiok and Prof.
H. F. Angus argued tbo resolution,
"Tho League of Nations la too
ldeallatlo an organisation for thla
modern ago."
MBRBLY A  BUBBLB
Speaking for tho affirmative, Dr.
Sedgewlok claimed tbat there la
nothing wrong with tbo Ideals of
tbo league, but tbat they aro far
too high for any practical use today. "Oreat massss of men took
it to heart that tho league would
bo a safeguard ot world paaoo, but
this belief turned out to bo a sheer
bubble," bo stated.
Dr. Sedgewlok reviewed briefly
tha three major fallurea of tho
league, tho Ohaao Inoldent, tha
Manahukuo dlapute, and tha regent aaaa of Abyaalnla. Ho point*
ad  out that  In  each  aaaa  tha
league shuffled, deliberated, and
dalayad, and In no aaaa sontrl*
butsd anything of really practical
uaa.
Opposing   Dr.   Sedgewick,   Prof.
Angus daolared tbat tbo league bad
dona groat harm by ssttlng up to
low an ideal for mankind. "It there
bad been aet up a blgbar, bettor,
aad nobler Ideal to start off with,
men would havo reaotod very differently," ba stated.
(Turn to Page 8—Bee OBBATB)
Manitoba Glee Club
Start Radio Series
UNTVBRSITY OF MANITOBA,
January 9. (W.I.P.U.)— Would-be
star* among tbo University of Manitoba glee clubbers will havo en
ocoasion to show thslr ability wban
tbo Unlveralty of Manitoba Olaa
Club gooa on tho air over radio station OJRC, Winnipeg, on Friday,
January 16, at 8.16 p.m. Thla will
bo tho first In a series ot three IB*
minute broadcasts to bo presented
by membera of tbo olub.
Thees programs wore inaugurated last yaar as a moans of providing some opportunity for musioal
work to those students wbo havo
not the necessary tlmo to tako part
In the opera which Is produced by
the Olee Club.
West  Saxon  Kings and
Amazons' Branches
Also Important
By DORWIN BAIRD
Learning was boiled down
into Its essential parte by
Stephen Leaoook during hie
addreee to nearly 2000 ln the
auditorium here Wednesday
noon. In the words of the
fatnoue humourist .the following knowledge should be discovered by all:
1—The alphabet ,all of It, although soma woman neglaet thla
and aomehow manage to use •
phono book despite tholr meagre
knowledge.
S—'Tho West Saxon Kings,
from Alfred right down to Half
Nat.
8—Both branchee of tho Ami*
son, and bo careful not to confuse them with tho above Kings.
I ask you, whan a man haa tha
ability to aay things like that and
gat away with it, what ia there to
report about him?  For little moro
than a half hour a crowd that waa
packed into ovary available apaoe
in    tha    auditorium    alternately
laughed and wondered at thla wiaa
man out of tho East.
FUN FOR ALL
Professor Leacock knows ho ia
being funny, in fact ho often Interrupts hla own jokaa by laughing
before the and. Ho haa a good time
when he.ia lecturing, and it ia needless to say that everyone shares his
happiness.
Possibly there ware too many
jokaa Wadnaaday, beoauae underneath it all, Leacock had a maaaage.
Ho waa talking about education and
comparing tho mechanics of instruction with tho underlying soul
of knowledge. At thia juncture ha
let Bo again and mentioned tho
aotanoo of Epistomology, whieh la
"knowing that you know aomethlng."
TEARFUL LITTLE CLASS
Serious for a moment, tho speaker apoke of Tonnyaon, quoting
those linaa from "Crossing tha
Bar." Aa ha recited, alienee waa
supreme in tho hall. Tho traditional
pin would have created a furor had
it dropped.
Than, with a lightning change,
ho came out with, "But tt'a all
spoiled. I had it for fourth yoar
English."
Surely,   thia   man   could   bo
termed a "verbal quick-change
artist."
He talked of his own education,
of the tearful little olass at tha
Dame's school, where he had his flrst
(Turn to Rage 8; See LBAOOOK)
ENGLAND TO
OPEN SERIES
OF LECTURES
Laaturlng on "Tho Threat to
Dlalntereated Bdueatlani A Challenge," Professor Robert England, nawly appointed Dlraetor of
Adult Bduaatlan at tha Unlveralty, will open tha Spring Session
of tha Vaneouvar Inatltute tomorrow night In tho Auditorium.
Born In tho north of Ireland,
Prof.'England haa had an Inter*
eating and varied aaraar. Ha
aarvad three years In Pranea with
thf Royal Oanadlan Raglmant,
and waa awarded tha Military
Cross. Coming to Oanada, ha wan
a yeai**e aehelarahlp at tha Sorbonne for hla apaalal atudy of Ukrainian and other foreign aettle*
menta In Saskatehewan. After a
olx*yeer term of office with tha
Oanadlan Natlanal Railway In
London, ho ' came to Winnipeg,
where ha haa dana natabla work
In tha Oanadlanlaat'on ef foreign
born asttlsrs.
Laat autumn Profsssor Bng*
land Joined-tha ataf* hara as Dlraetor ef Adult Bduaatlan. Ha
haa organlasd eeureea of laotursa
and atudy greupe In all parte of
tha Provlnss, and haa already
dona muoh to broaden an*) popularise tha work of tha Unlveralty.
Hla wlda and varied expcrlenee
of Adult Bdueatlon and hla abla
manner of preaontatlen ahould
mako hla leoture on Saturday
evening a notable one. Tha meat*
Ing will open at S.16 In tha Audi*
torlum.
Fardel Comedy
And Colour Film
For Monday Show
Rene Clsir Production
And "All Babs" to Be
Double-billed Here
CONTEST
STARTED
Nomlnoea for tbe glamorous position of "Queen for Ono Night,"
Marjorie Jaasup, Peggy Fox and
Rogia Hicka wero elected representatives of tho three major
classes, "Blondes," "Brunsttes," and
"Rodhsads," at a moating of tho
junior olaaa in Arta 100 Thursday
at noon. Tha masting waa held to
narrow tho Said of thoaa eligible to
act aa "Prom Queen" at tha Junior
Prom, January 88, in tha Spanish
Orlll of Hotel Vancouver.
SIX BRUNETTES
Kay Mann, Mary MoDonald, Eva-
lyn (Roaa) Hebb, and Marjorie
Jessup wero nominated from tho
floor aa repressntstivss of that
dangerous faoulty known as blondaa.
Six nomlnaaa ran in tha wider classification of brunettes. They war*
Hyslop Gray, Batay McCallum, Nan
Thompaon, Peggy Fox, Peggy Mo-
Rao and Elate Stangland. Four redheads, Laurel Carter, Regie Hicka,
Phyllia Shaw and Agnes Owyn
Ware nominated.
Monday noon tbo U. B. C. Film
Sooiety will present the most ambitious program it baa undertaken to
date, featuring "Sous laa Tolts da
Parla," a French slapstick comedy,
and "Ail Baba and tbo Forty
Thieves," which is ths flrst Bnglish color film to bo shown in
Canada.
SPBOIAL  PERMISSION
"Sous laa Tolts do Parla"—wbtob
maana "Under tha Roofs of Paris,"
Is dlrsotod by Rene Blair, wbo is
undoubtedly tbo greatest of ail
French film produoero. Although
this waa ths flrst oomady to depend
largely on Ita musioal soore to
achieve ita effects, M. Clair ia par-
haps batter acquainted to Oanadlan
audiences for bis resent Hollywood
production, "Tha Oboat Ooss West."
Tbls film, which baa playad regularly to roadshow audianoaa at 76
cants, will ba brought to tha Campus with speolal parmlaalon from
Now York.
Mr. Oeorge Pals la foremost
among Buropean artists who havo
experimented with both tho ant*
mated cartoon and tho puppet Aim.
Hla suooaaa In making screen ad*
vertlasment   palatable   lad   to   hla
(turn to Page 8) Sea PILMB)
Com* to tho Aid of
Abor, Boys and Girls
The following aro cauaing disorganisation in the Abar Studio and
tho way they aro doing it is by not
sending In their proofs:
Joe Andrews, Michael Criokmay,
Oordon Orant, Alan Kirkby, Bob
Klrkpstrick, Eunice North, Cava
Spencer, Bill Swan.
Since Aber*o ia anxious to havo
those proofs immediately, plaaaa
mall tham to tha studio this week,
marking tha one yon want for your
free picture.—J.B.
"Vote for whatever colour hair
yon think should reign aupreme,"
aald Malcolm Brown, president of
Arta '88. "Thero will bo a ticket
ballot throughout tho weak, using
tho stubs of tickets to tho dance."
Validity of certain nomlnoea was
hotly contested. Many preferred to
think of Kay Mann aa a brunette
rather than a blonde, while others
triad to nominate Peggy McRae as
a redhead after aha had been voted
on aa a brunette. Their motion waa
voted down.
MARTIN AND MACDONALD
TO MEET ALDERTA TEAM
IN KING ED. AUDITORIUM
Friday night, while Alfred Carlson and Tom Marshall
engage in a McOoun Cup debate at Saskatchewan, U.B.C.'e
home team, consisting of Len Martin and Alex MacDonald,
will oppose the two debaters here from Alberta.
The men who will speak for the Edmonton University
are H. J. Bishop and W. B. Ayre, both debaters of high
calibre. Bishop is a third-year Arts and Law Student, who
has taken an aotve part ln dramatic productions In hie University. He has had considerable experience in Forum debating at Alberta, but this ls his flrst major debate.
LBN MARTIN TO LBAD APPIRMATIVB'S OASB
Hts collasue, W. B. Ayre, has also bsen prominent In dramatic
work. In 1986 he took part In the Spring Play, and later In tbe sams
year represented his oollege against Camrose In the Inter-Provincial
contests. The coming debate, however, is his flrst major encounter
this year. ______^——_______________
DBPBNS8  IS TOPIO
U. B. C.'s homo team-Is felt to do
fully   equal   to   tbo   two   Invading
speakers.   Lon Martin, leading tha
affirmative of the topic under discussion,   "Resolved   that   Canada
should mako some contribution to
the dafanoe forcaa ot tbo Britiah
Commonwealth ot Nations," la an
experienced apaaker, ready, smooth
and perauaslva.    Alax MacDonald,
wbo will aupport blm, brlnga to da*
bating cool, olaar, raaaonad think*
ing and a quiet but effective presentation.
Blahep   and   Ayre   arrived   In
Vansouver Thuraday.    Plana for
tholr reeeptlon and entertainment
hara are  In tha handa of Stud*
ants* Oeunolt.
Meanwhile, atudant aupport la
raquaatad for tha two U. B. O. debaters. Tbo subjeot la timely, role*
vant and intereatlng: they bavo a
good oaaa and good apaakora, and
oan assure all of a oloaa and apirit*
ad  encounter.
Tho debate will bo bald tonight,
Friday, January 16, at 8.16, in tho
King Bdward High Auditorium,
liokota are aalllng at 86 cants
aplaoo, and may bo obtained from
members of tho Parliamentary Forum or from tho J.' W. Kelly Piano
Oompany.
Scarlet Firo Trucks
Rush to Aid Library—
Alarm Rouses Campus
Over tho frosen noon-hoar
hush of a snowy campus Tuesday
a Sra siren wailed ita warning to
all quarters of tho grounds. In
anawar a franalad throng fought
ita way to tho threatened building, tho library, with Ita bqputlf nl
Grecian lines and Its valuable
collection of booka, where tho
scarlet Sre trucks waited, empty.
Outaido tho library awostrlek-
on atudenta looked op at tha gaping windows. From tho gaping
wtndowa jrasaled atudenta gased
down at tho awe-etrlckon throng.
Scattered among tho paasled
atudenta wore several passlod
Bremen.
Ono Bremen arrived who waa'
not pussled. Ho waa amused. Mo
explatnad that tho alarm waa
caused by a wire ahort-clrcutlng,
due, presumably, to tho low temperature. Everyone was sattaed
aad wont homo.
ECONOMICS 9 NOTIOC
The examination In Boenomles
8 will ba bald en Tuaaday, Jan.
16, at 1.80 p.m., Inatead of Saturday.
W. A. OARROTHBRS.
Debaters  Express
Contempt For
Our Snow
Edmonton Boys See
Snow Fight, But
Advocste Mud
"Yea, your eo-eda are the baat
we've seen," admitted Bart Ayra
of tbo Bdmonton debating toam,
falling into tbo old pitfall of visiting debaters, "but you haven't any
Unlveralty Hospital like wo bavo."
It ssama tbat tha Unlveralty of nd*
monton baa taken over a boapltal
in connection with ita Medloal
School, whioh not only provides
practice for. budding modloos, medical attention to atudenta for 66 a
yoar, but also auppllea man atudenta with a wlda variety of charming nurses from whioh to choose
dat*s.
Arriving In Vanoouver Thuraday morning, Howard Blahep and
Bart Ayra, twa tall, atrong, and
ellent man from tho wide open
apaeea, ware greatly amuaad by
tha apelaglss of Vanoauverlteo
far our oold woathor. Mr Blahep
Indicated Hla sontempt by touring tho eampue mlnua a teat, but
Mr. Ayra olung to headgear and
overshoes.
THBV SLINO MUD!
Both wero greatly Impressed by
the Library and Science Building
and oould not understand how U.
B.C. oould possibly bo overcrowd*
od with auch spacious buildings.
For tbo noon-hour snow battle on
tbo quad, however, tbey bad leas
respect. "Bdmonton students throw
mud!" exclaimed Howard Bishop
proudly. "Bvery fall since Freshman Initiation was banned tbo Medical studanta and tho Bnglneers
scoop up all the available on tbo
oampua and plaster ono another
with It There aren't aay sissies
at Bdmonton."
AT   HOMB  TONIOHT
Sooial functions muat all ba held
on the oampua at Alberta, tbo toam
revealed. "Athabaska Hall," tbo
university's social oentre, ts tbo
scene of all academic festlvltlss,
which for pounds of human being
par cublo (and feminine) foot surpass anything known in B. O. Bdmonton also boasts tbo largest C.
O.T.O. In Canada, with an enrollment of 800 out ot a student body
of 8000.
The two debaters are the guests
of fraternities during tbelr stay on
tbe coast, and announce that tbey
will be "at homo" at La Fonda tonight.
IBS       News-Made Names       £3i
No, the Ubyssey hasn't gone tabloid, nor are the above pictures inserted merely to fill space. On the contrary, the row of faces is a new Idea of ours, presenting six "men of the week" on the campus. First, we have Jim Beveridge, whose struggles with the Totem begin as he commences work on write-ups, class and club.
Then, Len Martn, who leads against the foe this evening in the McOouan debate. Next, Dave Carey, busy now with stadium plans to be presented to the students
soon. (See page 8.) Allard de Ridder, whose first music lecture (page 2) was received by an enthusiastic audience Wednesday. A U. B. C. grad, Dr. H. V. Warren,
of the geology department, will leave for New York soon to deliver a paper before a leading group of International sclentsts. Last we have Doug Ford, an assistant
of Mr. de Ridder in the music lectures and a leading member of the production staff of the operetta, "Robin Hood." Two
THE      UBYSSEY
THE   UBYSSEY
EDITOR IN CHIEF
ZOE BROWNE-CLAYTON
SENIOR IDITORS
TUESDAY: Kemp Edmonds FRIDAY: Dorwln Baird
SPORTS EDITOR
Dick El son
ASSOCIATI IDITORS ASSOCIATI SPORTS IDITORS
Ken Grant        Dorothy Cummings Frank Perry    Frank Turner
__-_-_==_________=—=__:
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Subscription Rates for Ubyssey:
Rate for non-students, $1.50 per year.
Advertising Office
Pacific Publishers, Limited, 311 Province Building, Victory Square, Vancouver, B. C.
Telephone: TRINITY 1945
Advertising Staff:  Charles H. Munro, Howard D. Fletcher
All advertising handled exclusively by Pacific Publishers, Limited.
SUCCESSFUL GROWTH
Whatever else happens or does not happen before the
end of the term this session has been distinguished for all
time by giving birth to what promises to be one of the most
energetio oampus organizatons* We refer, of course, to the
film society.
This olub, which now boasts almost campus-wide membership, was last September nothing more than a vague
dream.
We hope that this bright beginning will be followed by
an even more glowing future, for the film society Alls a
real need in oampus life.
Next Monday this aotive organisation will bring another
selection of International films to the campus. The program
planned equals ln excellence the ones shown last term, and
we would therefore advise every student to endeavor to
attend.
As this will be the last opportunity for students to buy
membershp tickets those who wish to participate ln the
activities, of the sooiety and are not yet members would be
wise to buy their membership tickets Immediately from the
executive or In the quad box office on Monday.
Exchange
News <*nd
Views
By J. D. MACFARLANE
The shades of the Renaissance
are once again quiet and undisturbed, the desecrating hand of tbe
reformist has been removed, and
the classic curves of Venus de Mllo,
life-sized mascot of the University
ot Manitoba Students Union, stauds
nude, in all her pristine innocence,
undraped by the vulgar cheesecloth
imposed upon her by intellectually
nude Manitoba co-eds. As the Manltoban puts lt, "lusty financiers decided to show their fangs and with
a mighty roar of 'are we men or
mice' tore off the scanty covering
of the statue.
"The pomp and vanity of this
lustful world" (see prayerbook)
might be the title of the latest paradox committed by the male sex at
Alberta. Through the ages of
times we have had women haters
who, ln self-assertion of the great
imoprtance ot their own sex proclaimed far and wide the general
worthlessness of the female speoles,
and then later quietly crawled
around the corner to crave the Indulgence ot that sex ln approaching
the happy  (?)  state of marriage.
The question as to how this was
accomplished has often tickled the
mind of this unworthy one. Alberta
men have now supplied an answer,
in part. The Woman Haters' Club
wanted to hold a ball. They could
not allow their pride to be reduced
to the earthly state of inviting a
'woman'. So they issue "invitations
to the 160 most beautiful women on
the campuB." The invited then invite, and presumably take, tbe In-
viters. Slither the men are colloaal
Homeric visions of manhood or the
women are beautiful but dumb.
I have a mental picture of the
lofty bridegroom handing a ring to
the expectant bride at the altar and
politely but firmly requesting her
to place the emblem ot supposed
bliss upon the finger herself .
but somehow my vision ls, at this
point, somewhat marred hy a vulgar mist of wordy disunity.
Ing while you are walking with
aomeone. Bo that you may not
unduly startle the dear aoul, you
aro advlaod either to eollapae
slowly and allow yourself to be
ploked up at leisure, or you may
withdraw your arm and fall by
yoursslf, thus leaving ths gentle-
man hla dignity, or, again, If you
feel yoursslf falling you may ery
out In alarm and really test his
lovs In res I life . . . for If he
thinks snythlng at all of you, ho
will have you on your foot almost
before you begin to fall.
Ail in all. all cases ot the above
are really one and, in this part ot
the country I, for one, have failed
to discover anyone who contemplated the falling racket from an
utilitarian angle. Further, I suggest that co-eds here disregard the
Insidious influence of these suggestions. Any woman who turns herself Intp a pocket handkerchief is
liable to be regarded as flat as the
Prairies from whioh this sage advice oomes. It is to be hoped that
the femn.es of the sister institution have not adopted this as a rule
thereby proceeded further desecration ot art.
Random Ramblings
i
THE 8TUDENT   PRINOE
Have you noticed the surprising
number of people who prefer to
spend their Sunday evenings at
home, listening to Messrs Cantor
and Benny. A clever co-ed ln Arts '88
did, and Invented the "Jack Benny
Party," an offspring of the good old
Sunday night family dinner, where
the hostess doesn't have to provide
anything more than a square meal.
Just about the time the conversation starts to lag and another evening of Monopoly seems Inevitable,
Parkyercaroass, and hia stooge,
Bddy, come to the rescue. From
then on the gravest sooial error*possible Is to whisper or scrape your
chair, and for this reason parents
and other uncultured adults should
be packed off to church or somewhere beforehand. And when Buck
Benny ls through Riding Again
there is always Mart Kenney baok
home in our own village to provide
dance music. After that It Is time
to go home, because the hostess
was probably out late the night be
fore. A quiet evening, but oh so
easy on the pocketbook.
Pound: The perfect waitress t
Slim, dark, and beautiful, she slings
hash at La Salle Cafe on Granville
Street with all the Jole de vlvre
and sparkling wit ot a Hollywood
heroine. And when two pubsters
stumbled in out of the bllssard
Tuesday night, only to find that
thetr combined wealth was three
cents above carfare, Olive offered
to pay the bill herself rather than
turn them out unfed. The really
unbelievable part Is that they paid
her back next afternoon.
BROWN SCHOLARSHIPS
The Oraduate School of Brown
University has announced Its list
of fellowships and scholarships
available during 1837-1988. Pull information may be obtained at the
Registrar's Office.
On  the  other hand,   co-eds  may
take a hint from the Manltoban upon   the   delicate   point   of   falling.
Girls, you must, at all costs, do a
dainty   sprawl!     This   masterpiece
ot fsuper-journalism states that the
chief objection against the women
ot the sub-deb and teen-age type is
that they are clumsy, awkward, and
always  falling  over  thlnga.     Here
you, the fair sex, are given a tew
suggestions on how to do it.
First, you must relax completely,   eo  that  your  delicate   bones
may remain In one pleoe.    Then
there eomee the problem of fall-
VOCAL MUSIC
OUTLINED
The flrst ln a series of five lectures on "The Development of Vocal Music" by Allard de Ridder,
conductor of the Vancouver Symphony Orchestra, was presented before a large audience in the University Auditorium on Wednesday
afternoon. Mr. de Ridder was assisted by Miss BHsJe de Ridder at
the piano and a quartette composed
of members of the musical society.
JEWISH   RITUAL
Mr. de Ridder began his leoture
with the statement that "voice ls
the oldest way ot expressing music." During the latter half of the
10th century composers were mainly concerned with the Instrumental
side of music and for the next decade or so undertook its refinement.
"It was the Jewish people who
gave the flrst example of culture ln
music," Mr. de Ridder explained,
"and this music can be compared
to the development of the music
which the Oreeks used during their
plays."
The type of Jewish muslo usually
was the chant, whioh was offered
by one singer and answered by the
people. It is often in the form ot
a recitation.
FOLK BONOe
The Gregorian Choral developed
as a result of the Popes ot the
Roman Catholic church being sent
Table tappings, Oulji boards, and
automatic writing aren't sheer bluff,
according to the Psychology department. Instead they are the results
of a voluntarily "split personality,"
ln which the nerveB and muscles
of the arm are Isolated from the
rest of the nervous system, and do
a bit of "thinking" on their own
account. But don't experiment too
much, students are advised, or you
may have trouble getting organised
again. Remember Dr. Jekyll and
Mr.  Hyde!
Spring isn't quite here yet, by a
few weeks, but spring fever is. One
evidence is the well-known Pre-
Med student who, after keeping his
nose faithfully to the grindstone
for two and a half years, has suddenly gone, dewy-eyed over a
blonde freshette, cutting lecture
after leoture to sit with her in tbe
Caf, and spending his evenings at
bridge parties and dances. As
Bmmy Schmaltz used to say, "Tsk,
Tsk."
Another bad sign is the way Mc-
Duffee, Hobden, Roddan and Co.
sit around planning a pilgrimage to
IQngland and the Continent next
summer by way of silk train and
cattleboat. A number of ex-students have also similar plans, and
are investigating the chances of
enlisting in the British army under
a new six months' trial system,
which, they hope, will leave their
afternoons free to look at Xfrigland.
Ah, Spring . . . Spring . . . And
this ls only January IS!
"GRADUATE JEWELLERS WITH UNDERGRADUATE IDEAS"
FIRBANK & LANGE
CONVENIENT DIVIDED PAYMENTS
Seymour at
Dunsmuir
SEY. 2088
Don't Quote Me, But . . . Dept.:
Dr. Morsh.is rumored to be an accomplished tap dancer. Don Munro will edit the new "Bulletin" ot
the Vancouver branch of' the National Film Society, appearing February 1st. The Editor-in-Chief absent-mindedly mailed the key ot
the Pub mall box to Dorothy Cummings, c/o Pub. Mr. Home was
once a cow hand. Only two hundred and eighty-seven more shopping days till Christmas.
out to unify the church service.
This chant then developed lntcthe
choral.
Folk songs sung by troubadours
Were encouraged by the noblemen
of France . These songs were accompanied on the lute.
The Protestant church adopted
many non-secular pieces which
were changed considerably and developed in hymns. Mrs. de Ridder
sang one of these hymns.
Dr. Wilbur S. Watson
DENTIST
RESIDENCE   OFFICE:
4494 West 9th Avenue
3.00 to 8.00 p.m.
Telephone:   Point <fr** 652
t Gri
t
More  Light
Than Heat
By  O.   O.  •BDQEWICK
Renovating Mother Goose
By O. O. SEDGEWICK
Professor Allan Abbott of Teachers College, Columbia University,
has been bringing Mother Goose
into "significant relation with con.
temporary problems."
We knew Dr.
, Abbott long ago
in the graduate
school and remember him as a
very able and sol.
emn young man
—solemn as only
professors of education can be. He
used to Illustrate
his class reports
with pedagogical
diagrams that nobody ever understood. Now and again, he was suspected of using bis solemnity to
see how many legs he could pull,
and he has been carrying on researches of that sort for the last
twenty-five years.
* *    »
This time he has pulled a fast
one (a familiar idiom, we haatsn to
say, which has no necessary reference to pulling a leg). In the new
Abbott rhymes of Mother Gooss,
Nancy Netticoat shsds her obsolete
petticoat and appears aa follows:
"Little Nancy Neppins
In her silk step-ins
And hsr half-hose;
The longer she stands
The colder she grows."
Most modern children have experienced the bitter truth of this
observation. And all' of them will
sympathise with the up-to-date little pig of another revised version
who goes home crying about his
low I.Q.
There can be no doubt that silk
step-ins and low I.Q.'a are contemporary problems. What is more,
there may be a significant relation
between the two: and the more seriously we view tne matter, the better Dr. Abbott will be pleased.
* •    *
We, too, can be as solemn as any
other pedagogue, and we are equally eager to bring our children
into touch with the age. For a
long time we have been dissatisfied
with
"Hickory dicory dock,
The mouse ran up the clock."
Our grandfathers, it is true, had
clocks up which mice could run,
but these clumsy timepieces are out
of date and have no modern significance.
We therefore offer to scientific
mothers, as a substitute, the following study of a pressing contemporary problem:
"Clickity clackity knock,
The burglar busts the lock,
The cops who come
Batter the bum;
Clickity clackity knock."
These lines, we feel, can sustain
a comment or two. The first couplet
is onomatopoetic: in lino one you
hear the sound of a burglar working with a lock-mechanism, and the
alliteration of the second line sug-
?;ests how suddenly his entry is elected. Poetic justice arrives on
time, as it always ahould do, in the
third and fourth lines. And finally
you hear the policeman's billy beating a tattoo on the burglars' skull.
If purists point with alarm to
the vulgarity of the diction, we beg
to state that this too is a contemporary problem.
* *    *
For more advanced classes in
poetry we have been inspired to
renovate a large number of other
nursery rhymes. Of these, we select
two which have an immediate bear-
ing on the problem of Dr. Abbott
himself.
The flrst is a version of Miss
Muff et, which we think will be stimulating to boys of the Freddie
Bartholomew stage
"Poor Mister Abbott
Had a bad habit
Of bringing verse up-to-date.
There came a small urchin
(For fun he was sear chin')
And pelted him over the pate."
It must be admitted that this
poem contains a certain incitement
to violence whioh, ln general, we
would deprecate. But we are sure
that, in this particular case, Freddie Bartholomew could plead justification for the blow.
Certainly no one can take exception to our philosophic lyric about
middle-aged educators who would
revamp  Mother  Goose;
"Dear old guys,
Don't they have fun!
They're   swinging   their   axes    at
nursery rhyme
Because  it isn't  in tune with   the
time;;
You never saw such devils for crime
as the dear old guys."
We should like Professor Abbott
to   know  that his  powers   of  leg-
pulling have suffered no decay.
Friday, January 15, 1937
DIAMOND MERCHANTS
FOR THREE GENERATIONS
Goldsmiths Silversmiths
Mounty Head At
Engineers' Meet
Guest speaker at the laat U. El. S.
meeting, held Tuesday noon ln Ap.
Sc. 100, was the Commissioner ot
the R. C. M. P., Major General Sir
James MacBrlen. He spoke on the
"Work of the Force" to an enthusiastic audienoe of over 200 Engineers and their friends. The topic
was of great interest, and Sir
James was able, ln the short time
at his disposal, to sketch with remarkable clarity the varied and engrossing tasks of the famous Redcoats.
BIX MAIN DUTIBB
He began with an historical account ot the service, returning later
to outline the duties undertaken by
lt at the present day. There are six
of these: the National Police Force,
for the enforcement of Federal
statutes; the Preventive Force,
against smuggling; the Provincial
Police Force In six of the nine provinces, constituting two-thirds of the
total work of the whole R. C. M. P.;
the Protective Force tor Government buildings and others Important to the Dominion; the Far North
Patrols; and the General Polioe
Reserve, which extends aid to all
Canadian Police units when they
need it.
Of thsss, ths Orlmlnsl Invsstl-
gatlon Oopartmsnt of tha National Roll oo Foree lo ths most In*
tereatlng. It Inoludoa the atudy
and uae of aolentlflo. methoda for
orlmo prevention and detection,
and aevoral Unlveralty graduatee
are at preaent studying law as a
start In thla work, whose.parallel
la found In the Q-Men of the
United etatea.
The Commissioner said that the
condition of the Force was never
better than at present, but refused
to take any credit for it. He stated
that out ot 5000 applicants annually, only 260 of the best are accepted. These men are trained to study
their profession ln order to become
really efficient police officers, and
to carry on the honorable traditions
of their service. Indeed, care has
to be taken to avoid overkeenness,
as trouble may otherwise result.
He spoke ln glowing terms of the
men who serve under him, and to
whom, he says, all the honors of
the R. C. M. P. are due.
Ifitsrfaculty Debating
Starts at Manitoba
UNIVERSITY OF MANITOBA,
January 9. (W.I.P.U.)—An inter*
faculty debating schdule Involving
11 faculties ot the University ot
Manitoba will be inaugurated at
8.00 p.m., Thursday, January 81, by
tbe University of Manitoba Students Union Debating Society. Plans
are under the control of Dave Ferguson and Jack Gallagher.
*A11 debates ln each round of tha
knock-out competition will be run
off simultaneously. The second
and third rounds are billed for February 4th and 18th respectively.
Tbe final debate will be held some
time in Maroh.
The contest alms to provide opportunities for new debaters. Consequently no student who has da-
hated In the Union Debates this
year may represent his faoulty ln
the Inter • faculty schedule. Tbe
team for eaoh schedule may be the
same for all rounds or it may ba
a different pair of debaters eaoh
round.
LITBRARV  FORUM
There will be a meeting of the
Literary Forum on Tuesday at 18.80
ln Arts 106. All members are requested to be out.
REN   LOOT
A rose and gold Parker pen.
Would the finder please return to
Margaret Windt, Arts Letter rack.
Reward.
hioob in ausiNseei
Essays and theses typed neatly
and accurately for 10 cents a page.
Lecture notes, 10 cents large page,
5 cents small page. Apply P. Hlggs,
Publication Office.
H.   FAULKNER  SMITH
SCHOOL OF APPLIED
AND FINE ART
Recognized   by   B.C.   Dept.   of   Education
Day and Evening Classes in
COMMERCIAL, APPLIED AND
AND PINE ART
Prospectus on Application
Spring Term, February 1st, 1917
MARINE   BUILDING SIMOUR  811
"WE  ARE  YOUR   DELIVERY   SERVICE"
B. C. District Tel. and Delivery Co. Ltd.
916 W. HASTINGS STREET        SIYMOUR •.•£
Trucks, Mittrayilis Mi liki MissiRfin, Availa.li at All Tims
ROYAL PORTABLE TYPEWRITERS
Typewriters of  all
makes  for sale or
rent.
$45 — $65
Da Luxe New Quiet
-$7_
Modal
BYRNES HUME TYPEWRITERS
WILSON McDUPPII, Bay. 8023
Campus Representative:
592 SEYMOUR STREET
SEYMOUR 6639
There's hardly any telilnk where
Dr. Sedgewick will wind up, once
he starts to write a column for the
Vancouver Sun; those who want to
keep tab on him In his less scholastic avatar Juat have to phone
Trinity 4111 and have the Sun delivered  regularly.
IPnrgnttim Mtn
(BEINQ   LETTERS   RECEIVED  BT   US)
Dear Sir:
In lt proper to wear a white waistcoat with a dinner Jackot?
Is It proper to wear a polo coat with a dinner jacket?
If so, what hat should be worn?
Can I wear brown shoes with a blaok suit?    *
Are pleated back suits going In or out of atyle?
It la proper to wear a white walatooat with a dinner Jacket.
A polo coat with a dinner Jacket Is accepted only at a summer reaort.
With  It a straw or panama Hat la worn.
Brown shoea are now aooepted with blue suite, but are not raoom-
mended for wear with an all-blaok outfit.
The pleated baok la oolne out of fashion and the plain baok suit la
definitely replacing It. For sports wear, Jaokete may carry aide or
canter venta.
Send ua your olothlng  probleme.   They will
be   answered   in   thle   oolumn   or   by   letter.
E. A. LEE,
LTD.
"Distinctive Clothes'
1005 GRANVILLE STREET
Prices $25.00 snd up
SEYMOUR 2507 Frida
THE      UBYSSEY
THI BUDOIT SHOP sale starts on Monday. Aristocrats of tha shoe
world will bs sold at miraculously low prices. Many of the downstairs
shoes will be taken upstairs to be sold. Both these and the far-famed
Budget Shop shoes will be priced at $5.75 and $4,75.
Start the new year right by wearing Budget Shop shoes. It will be
an easy resolution of you make a date to visit 644 Oranville Street early
next week   Every wise co-ed will be there.
-k      *      *      *
Seen going home from Varsity a car with only three people In the
back teat and yet the girl still preferred to sit on one of the boy's knees.
Maybe it is the cold spell.
•h      *k      -k      *h
If you haven't phoned Trinity 4727 to make an appointment for the
free shampoo with a wave or marcel there is still time to tako advantage
of this generous RUSSIAN OUCHISS offer. Until the end of the month
you receive a Pine-a-Rol Shampoo free with every marcel or finger wave
given at this Beauty salon opposite the Lyric theatre. The University
social program is just starting. If you haven't received a bid to the Junior
Prom yet, why not let Russian Duchess make you over and give you one
of their famous waves?  We'll bet you get to the Prom if you do.
* *     *      •»
Here Is some glad news! THI UNQIRII SHOP is making very special
reductions on blouses during tho semi-annual sale. Some terribly smart
rust crepes at less than half price. Sheers, too, in dark shades are
marked away down. And there are lots of tailored styles with long or
short sleeves In white.
Take advantage of these low prices to be a step ahead of Spring.
*k     *      *k     -k
Queer confidences are heard over sorority tables sometimes. Here's
a sample: "He never asks me out, he doesn't write and he doesn't phone,
and yet I know he loves me," explained the sweet co-ed Greek to har
sisters.
* *       *       *
You can still buy graduation pictures at reduced pre les from AIM'S
studio. If you gave all your photos away at Christmas remember to buy
a few more for yourself. A graduation picture is something you will want
to keep always, so be sure to order them from Abers while the low prices
for University students are still in effect. Why not phone Trinity 633
and arrange to have them made now.
*k       -X       *       -k
Have you heard that a certain campus baby weighs nine pounds now.
But it can't say "Poppa" yet.
-k      -k      -k      -k
Casual smartness is synonymous with the college girl. And that is
just what you achieve by wearing a sport coat from MADAM! RUNGI.
The tailored models from this South Granville store are comfortably
warm, yet light enough  to carry you right through Spring.
There Is the belted bluish gray check with the casual wide reefers
and the buttoned cuffs. Or the mannishly tailored overcoats In fawn
checks or the new ginger brown. If you prefer you may choose the more
conservative topcoats fitted at the waist. These come In brown and
gray tweeds.
Get ready to greet Spring gaily as well as warmly in a smart colorful
overcoat from Madame Runge's.
* *      *      -k
Then there is the freshette who said she had picked up a Zete pin
over the week-end.
Spring flowers are now Imparting their fragrance and beauty to
IROWN BROS. Granville Street store. Hyacinths, vivid tulips, freeslas and
golden daffodils are all on display.
For a small tea there cannot be a more lovely centrepiece than a
pot of delicate hyacinths in pastel shades. This decoration has the
advantage of lasting for about two weeks. If you prefer there are the
potted tulips that add such an effective note of color.
A flowering plant brings spring into any home, and as a gift Is bound
to be appreciated. Or buy one for your own room as the fragrance will
even make studying easy.
-x     *     *      -k
Chivalry has definitely died on this campus. On Wednesday we saw
two strong husky males attacking one poor little co-ed with snowballs.
-k      *      -k      *
Absent   Minded
Professors At
Alberta
By CLBM L. KING
UNIVERSITY OF ALBERTA,
Edmouton, Jan. 7. (W.I.P.U.) —
Long the butt of many Jokes, we
now find that the absent-minded
professor is a reality. He bas been
discovered at the University of Alberta, but bo far his identity is a
mystery. During the holidays Dean
Alexander of the Faculty of Arts,
sent out a questionnaire to all the
professors   ot   that   faculty   asking
P8YCHOLOGY  OLUB
There will be a special meeting
ot the University Psychology Club
or JivirJay, January 16th, at 12.80
sharp in Arts 103. The purpose of
the meeting la to diacuss plana for
the annual banquet. In this connection an important Item ls to be discussed, and all membera are asked
to make a special effort to be present.
them to report any changes ln
courses and in timetables which
they wished to make for the Spring
Term. One professor reported that
everything in his department was
going smoothly nnd that no revision
would be necessary—but he forgot
to mention his name or the courses
that he was giving.
m
llllimilllllHIIIIIIHIIHIIIH.IHHIIIIIl
SOCIAL
NEWS
UllllllllllllllllllllllllllllUIIIHIIIUItll
By DOROTHY CUMMINGS
The principal date looming In the
near future ls the Junior Prom. As
It is the flrst function ot the Spring
term and more than likely to be
well attended the executive have
been allowed to reserve the Spanish Orill and all ten of the Western
Gentlemen for January 88.
If the men knew what complexion
the Prom Queen would be they
would know who to data tor the
evening, or It tho nominated queens
knew whioh complexion would be
best represented, lite would be
much simpler, but as It Is, competition ls expected to be high when
it comes to tbe decision for queen
between Marjorie Jessup, blonde
Kappa; Peggy Fox, brunette O.O.,
and  Regis   Hicks,  redhead  A.D.P.
OREBKB
Tbe campus men are beginning
to settle down and look normal
again. The strain of several weeks
was relieved when tho rushing results were announoed lata Wodneeday afternoon. Alpha Celt's pledged 11, Psi U's nine, Phi Kappa Big-
ma six, Fiji's four, Phi Delt'a three,
Beta's four, D U's eight, Zotos six,
Sigma Phi Delta eight and Phi Kappa Fl sis.
SALISBURY
The Salisbury Lodge boys aro
having another party. At the Peter
Pan Ballroom on Monday evening
residents of Salisbury Lodge will
entertain a limited number of
guests at a danoe arranged on a
Paul Jones style. Under the directorship of John Wood and to the
muslo of the Gondoliers, dancing
will take place between  8 and  1.
Official host for the evening will
be Alan Fawley, house president,
assisted by Bearnard Neary and
Bill  Tater.
Three
Moro flavour
— yet milder
Buckindliaiii
 _       MP '^ot tpjq."
ClOARBTTIt
S74-J0
//
//
Librarian Recovers
From Ice Accident
Mr. John Ridington, university
librarian, who haa been confined
to hla bed for the paat two weeks
as a result of an aocldent, ls expected to be able to return to the
university early next week. Mr.
Ridington slipped on icy steps in
front of hia home a week ago last
Monday and unfortunately broke
two ribs.
LEACOCK
Continued from Pago 1)
lesson in human suffering, of the
tuition at home, where he discovered that affection is a fine substitute for stern teaching, and of tho
real classical school that he" looks
back upon with gratitude . . . that
he left it.
ARTS THB SOUL    •
Universities came next, and ho
drew a roar from the redcoats when
he said that the "Arts faculty waa
the soul of a university." A professor himself, Or. Leacock advocated that dons should become unworldly and retain that "moony-
mindneas" of other ages.
In a lecture that dealt with nearly every phase cf everything Shakespeare was sure to come in for some
ribbing, and he did. Using the
method of our own Or. Sedgewick
and others who can prove anything
about the immortal bard simply by
looking for clues in his plays, Or.
Leacock first showed that the poet
had once been a lawyer.
Why?   Juat   look   at   Hamlet,
Act 8, Sc. 4, where you Snd:
"What is there in this for me 7"
From "Merchant   of   Venice,"
Act 4, Sc. 1, we can take, "Now,
gents, what shall yours be?" to
prov. that Shakespeare served aa
a bartender.
Then came the concluding bombshell.
"I shall not aay that you have
had the honour," he began, "but at
least you have had the occasion to
attend my last public address in
Canada. I'm going to settle down
on the shores of Lake Koochi-
Koochi and watch the tide come in,
and you can bet the tide is mighty
slow there."
QUEEN O.K.
SAYSCOUNCIL
An   extraordinary   meeting   of
tha Alma  Mater Sooiety will be
held on Wednoaday, January 87,
at 18.18,  In  tho  Auditorium for
the dlsousslon of ths building of
a   atadlum,   It   waa   dseldad   at
oounoil moating, Monday.
Flans for the Junior Prom to be
held at the Spanish Orill on January 88 with tiokets at 82.80 were
ratified.    In the discussion of the
Prom Queen, Audrey Horwood suggested that the choice should not
take   personaliUss   Into  consideration.     Hor  suggested   system  waa
that each  voter should  write  the
name of the person be wanted on
an  extra  stub  of  tbo  ticket and
plaoe it ln one of three boxes, bra
nette, blonde or redhead, whichever
aha might be.    Tbe Prom officials
will then draw one name from the
box containing most of the stubs
and the person thus drawn will be
tbe Prom Queen.
Although Jay objected to tbe
whole Idea as being too much cheap
rah rah, Beth thought lt would be
an opportunity for publicity not to
be neglected. Howie MoPhee remarked that there weren't any red-
beads in third year.
A motion was passed to tbe effect that the Parliamentary Forum
be given permission to proceed with
their plans tor the McGoun Cup
Debates only on condition that
the deficit incurred over their budget, which was expected to be between |60 and 8108, would be debited against their budget for 1987-
38.
This recommendation was made
because it was not considered that
the activity Involved was of sufficient interest to warrant such a
great deal of extra expenditure.
For yuch a man to quit is a
major    tragedy.     Opinlona    ox-
pressed by many on the campus
are  that  he   will    never do  it,
simply because ho doesn't want
to.
At any rate, U. B. C. was honoured by his presence, and few will
forget it.  Reporters laid down their
pencils,  students  forgot that they
were  squeezed into a space where
one   should   be  and   three  actually
were,   and   professors  forgot  their
scruples   and   "moony-mindedness"
as they enjoyed themselves to the
full.
It was a grand lecture.
FILMS
(Continued from Page 1)
branching forth into the story film
of  which   "All   Baba"   ls   the   flrst
attempt.
FEATURES COMING
The Film Society executive has
obtained for the spring term suoh
controversial matter as "Thunder
Over Mexico," directed by Sergei
Elsenstein. He produced this film
ln Mexico when barred by the
unions from produolng In Hollywood. Another feature will be
Rene Clair's "Le Million," which
with "Sous les Tolts de Paris" are
his two most popular comedies.
Surrealism will play a large part ln
the programs, for several shorts
similar to the muoh-disoussed "Lot
in Sodom," including the "Haunted,
House," are arranged for and It is
hoped to secure a surrealistic feature.
"Don Quixote" with Psodor
Ohallapln, and a featuro atarrlng
Senja Henle, tha world'a fore-
moat figure' akstsr, will also bo
shown. "Time" In eommentlng
upon tho latter film said that hsr
famous "Swan danoe" on akstss
Is aa supsrlor to the ballet as
ths ballet la supsrlor to tho ordinary waits.
DEBATE
(Continued from Page 1)
LIVELY^ REBUTTALO 	
""Prof."""Angus "**reviewed~pbst-war
conditions in Italy, France and
Japan, pointing out lt was not a
period of Idealism but a period of
exhaustion. "The statesmen, too,"
he stated, "were not the men to
frame an idealistic scheme. The
league represents no higher ideal
than peace and safety. Safety of
possessions, whether ill-gotten or
not."
Lively   rebuttals   followed   from
eaoh of the speakers, ln which Dr.
Sedgewick referred to the wicked
ness of his own heart and Prof.
Angus told the audience that if he
oould look Into their hearts and see
the same -wickedness he would resign from the teaching profession
and would dissolve not the league
of nations, but the University of
British  Columbia.
For the last time, membership
tickets will be on sale ln the Quad
box office on Friday, Saturday and
Monday at noon. Positively no one
will be admitted to the showings
without a membership card. The
year tariff is 60 cents; 85 cents for
old members. This is an opportunity to see films that are not being
S.C.M. Plans Two
New Study Groups
And Fireside Moot
The S. O. M. haa announced
through tha general aaeratary a
numbsr ot activities for tha currant term of thla year.
Poramoat of theae are the two
new atudy groupa whieh are
stsrtlng nsxt wssk, one on Pay*
ohology and Religion, and the
aooond on tho plaoe of tha Ohureh
In the modern world. Tha latter
la being led by Dr. Willard Brew*
Ing of Ot. Androw'o • Woalay
Ohureh. Anyone Intorsatad In
Joining thaae or other groupa la
cordially Invited to do ao.
Tha aaeond party of tha year
will be held Saturday night at
Huron Lodge. Thla will ba followed by a flrealde meeting Sun.
day afternoon, when raporta of
aaveral oonferenoaa will ba given.
Further Information regarding
Professor King Gordon's visit to
ths oampua during tha weak after
nsxt will bs published later.
Correspondence
SOPHMORE TROUBLE
Editor Ubyssey:
Dear Madam:
About five minutes before the
English 2 lecture started we wandered into Arts 100. The usual
atmosphere of Sophomore boredom
prevailed except that a number of
excited young male sophs bad invaded the room and were making it
somewhat unattractive—with din
and snowballs.
That, however, can be passed off
as good clean fun, but surely when
the professor enters the room and
starts to lecture, the students might
make a few concessions, such as
not talking in more than groups of
a dozen, or not leaving the lecture
room at intervals of less than five
minutes.
The professor proceeded firmly on
his way without raising his voice,
trying to pretend no doubt that his
speech was not accompanied hy a
continuous chattering hum. Once he
stopped speaking and expostulated
in the mildest manner possible,
assuring us that he was not angry,
but could we juat exercise control
of our tongues for a few more minutes.
Evidently we could not; since
everybody started telling everyone
else about his life history and two
girls near me explained frantically
to each other the nature and cause
ot divorce, and gabbled superfluous
remarks about tbe magnlfloenoe of
somebody's square - cut emerald
ring.
And in the remote distance a
voice, a very agreeable voice, continued his spseoh. Whose could it
be? Ah—yes, of course, tha professor's—silly of us. The voice waa
telling us ot the majeatio prose of
John Dryden. Apparently we were
not interested in prose since we
continued to delight ottr neighbor's
ears with favoring reminiscences
and auch remarks as, "Isn't Eva's
hair cute?" "Where did you go?
The Mandarin Gardens?" and "I
was just thrilled because I didn't
think he'd phone again after Tuesday."
Why on earth does anyone have
to tell anything important to a
gathering of sophomores who are
not interested? They would much
rather roar with laughter when Dr.
Sedgwick tells them how stupid
they are or shout in ecstatic: frency
when a professor drops a book on
the floor.
Sincerely,
Another Disgusted Sophomore.
Do You Want to Work
For the League Society?
The League of Nations Boolety
In Osnada haa an ambition te employ In Ito varloua eervlooa per-
eone of the hlgheat ability and
training available. At the present moment, thero Is a definite
possibility ef st Issst a temporary
position for someone with the
proper qualifications. Tha National Offloe of the Sooiety le anxious to learn of suoh a poraon.
Communlcste with R. B. Ineh,
124   Wellington   8treet,   Ottawa.
shown anywhere else, as the "Sam-
pas Film Society has branched off
from the National Society and is
presenting altogether different programs.
The executive asks that everyone
be in their seats by 18.10, as the
program ls a full one and they want
everyone to see all of lt.
LEACOCK
LAPSES
Ths Rontons wsre like a hen,
thsy ooudn't count to mora than
three.
Ba mora losrnsd than tha
examiner and quota from authora
he never heard of.
In translating Latin, you'll al*
waya know It'a Oaaaar, baaauaa It
aaya ao at tha bottom. Write
aomethlng that you know la Juat
ae good If not batter than Caeear.
You don't nssd to know Latin.
Viotorla
tion.
la  my  lataat admire-
Keep a tight hold en your olassies, thsy'ra meat Impreaslvs to
the erowd.
In thla modern age, aenaatlona
mr* born In a moment and eleetre*
euted In leaa. Our worda ara all
broken up Into dota and daehea,
and we oan't ba aure that tha
written word will ever again
reaoh   great  heights.
Tennyaon had the power to put
In a phraaa that which oan light
up the mind.
•*_iSt0*_**«****^M0v^M0MMs_awBvss*^^wa_r«_ra_sM^MM*_a>_M
0PT0METRI8T
LAWRINCI SMITH
49 West Hastings Street
Phone Sey. 6860   Res. rt. Gray 497 R
THE VANCOUVER
SCHOOL OF ART
Corner Camblo and Dunsmulr
DAY and EVENING COURSES
Telephone Trinity 2651
For Prospectus or Information
HOW ABOUT A
WARM OVf RCOAT
FOR THIS
CHILLY WEATHER?
A complete selection of the latest
styles and patterns—priced to suit
yyour college budget. Inspect these
great values today!
J. H. SWEDER
A Tailor of Distinctive
Clothes
548 HOWE STREET
Seymour 8628
HELD OVER!
ONE MORE WEEK
Jsnusry 18.h-23rd
Russian Dialogue
Engllih Titles
Thousands Aoclaimed
It Last Week
Matinee, 2.30     25c
Evening, 7 and 9  30c
Street Cars 4 and  14
a    I T T I    IT   Theatre
L. I   I    I  LLt   High. 5520
Commercial and Georgia VAN VLEETS BASKET  GLADIATORS  PLAY PROVENCE  SATURDAY NIGHT
ELIMINATIONS IN THE MILE
SAT., 16, NOON IN GYM
____9h'tl^^____________i                        ______r^^^^             ______^^^^i_____k                    _______|p^^^^^^^^I_______                      ______^^^^______.               a_BB_______^^^^^______________r                       ______^%_^
MEETING, ALL TRACK MEN
MON. 22nd, 12.30, ARTS 100
•
Four
THE     UBYSSEY
Friday, January 15, 1937
HUSKY HARLEMITES HERE tor HYSTERICAL HISTRON1CS
RITA*   VAN  VLIET PRIMING
TRACKSTERS FOR BIG MEET
Victoria Contest
Sot for January 22nd
In spits ef tbo snow and other
Inclemencies of ole' Man Weather,
the hardy traok gladiators aro
training bard ta preparation for tbo
super-colossal track moat with Viotorla eat for tba 88nd ot this month.
VAN VL.IBT TRAINBR
Manager and organiser Joo Rita
has bis traok and field obargaa
primed to near-perfootlon tor thla
Important competition aoroas tho
briny, and with tba manifold coaching abilities of Maury Van Vllet
coming to hla assistance ln tho
training grind, tho boys ahould,
•nd doubtless will bo formidable
opponents Indeed for tbo Oapltol
Olty "Y" men.
MePHBB, LUOAB TRAVBL.
With suoh supsrlor traok and
Bold man aa Alas (I'm a aaagull)
Lucas, Howie MoPhee, Olympic
traok man, Jim MoOammon, shot-
putter and Javelin tosser, Vanoo
MoOombor, mllar, and Norm (Red-
wig) Renwlck, on tho Vanity
venue, tho upholdara of tho many
traok tradltlona ot tha Blue and
Oold, ahould pull through with
moro silverware than Mr. Blrka on
tha day ot Bt Nioholaa.
OYM  PBAOTICB SATURDAY
Oym practloea tor potential mil*
•ra ln th* coming moot aro aakad
to turn ont to tho gym on Saturday for th* final try-outa before tho
oontsst. Also, and thla la extremely, terrlfioaUy, gigantically and
stupendously Important . . • than
will b* • moating of all track and
Bald man on Monday In Arta 100
at 18.80. Pleaae (and wo here quote
manager Joe Rita) . . . pleaae for
everybody's sake . . . come to tho
mooting I
Between lecturee
have to* »t
The GABLES Inn
Beside University Hill Post OfUes
SWAN   BACK
TO BOLSTER
TEAM
Show Poor Form
For 2nd Slot Toam
Tho Varsity senior hoopers kspt
• stranglehold on tho aaoond slot
of tbo Intercity loop whon thoy
downed the Munro "Fighting Furriers" 47*41 In • oloso battle Wad*
neaday night.
SWAN   RBTURNS
Although tho already powerful
Thundarbtrd squad was augmented
by Bill Bwan ot rugby fame, they
failed to ahow the class that was
expected ot them. Th* oollege quintet hold • alight edge throughout
tho game, but tha rurmen pressed
tha loaders all tha way.
Overcoming a flve-point deficit,
tha Thundarblrda stopped away
from tho Munro orew to load 14-
8 with tan mlnutss gene. Tha fur*
men rallied to knot tho soero at
18 all, but tha atudenta otsmmsd
thf tide and again pulled away
te led* 80-80 at tha breather.
In tha aaoond tram* tha Varaity
crew held tholr load Although thoy
ware given aoma hectic momenta
when Batslsy sank three long shots
to bring tho Furman within 4 points
of th* Isadora.   However, tho Thundarblrda staved off tho rush and
ended  tho game with • six-point
margin.
i-De-Ho" Hoopers
Continue Crazy Caging
INTRAMURALS
START TODAY
The flrat Intramural basketball
games take place at noon today
wtth Agrlo. masting Arta '87 and
Arts '40 mixing with Science '40.
Members of thoso tsams are asked
to bo on hand as soon after 18 na
possible in order to complete both
games.
8IRLS..DwcaYourWayToHMlth
Join sur alrV tap sad gym slats,
Monday) "JO p.m.-S.SO p.si. $1.50 par stoat*.
Telephone Bayviaw 5306 or 5333 R.
GRACE MacDONALD
16S7 West 9th Avenue, et Alme
By PRANK TURNBR
Ono week loss two days, Ave days, 180 hours—anyway, next Wednesday, January 81st, day's all agwan to be heah—yessuh, yo' sho' nuff
guessed lt—basketball's  wondermen  will  oavortl     Harlem's  Hl-de-ho
hoopers will strut tbelr stuff In our own backyard,
ASSININITV OB LUXtl
Smart basketball, uncanny ball-handling, impossible sooring plays,
plus aasininlty de luxe: rolling tho
round pill over arms, bstwssn laga,
and around oppononta, thla playful trickery wtll feature tho galloping Globe-Trotters' return to thla
part of tho country.
Last year's exhibitions tn thla
town drew paoked galleries, and
tho hysterical moba will ono* mor*
be given tho opportunity to roll
over aaata tn Bob Brown's Vac gym ■
thla aoaaon, whon tho triumph*
trooping trioksters start to work
on th* throe top teams tn tho
Inter-Olty loop.
TRIO OP TRIOKBTBRB BAOK
Three of laat yeafa partlelpanta In tha different type of Blaak
Maglo will continue their eye-popping antleo on thla trip. ••""•" *
Jaokson, 8 foot 8 Inoh osntrsmsn, mastsr ahewman, and captain
of tha eauad, will carry on hla rsmonetratlng "tlngei-wavlng" with
hla slongated ohook on tha Collegiate team—"Hunk" Henderson.
Harry Russang, reputedly tha amallast forward In professional bae-
ket_Vll—he"s ?feet 4 Inches—will repeat hi* Isaaena In dssd-ey*
- baaket-snlplng, and may and up th* game talking to lovelyleoklng
opeotatoro far th* last five minutes—he's got that habit. The laat
•f th* trio la Bab Praaler, tha ssrleus-leoklng funster, who playa In
• guard P**ltl*n. _ _.
And ao—It you want to enter tha Vanity gym next Wednesday
briskly, and in full control ot your faculties—and ataggsr ont of tho
sams Indoor playground weak, limp, and absolutely betussled—eome
out at 18.10 noon prepared. Prepared to aa* th* only stage show over
presented on a basketball court by some ot tho cleverest eagera in th*
gam*.  _______^_____
Manitoba Swimmers
Default to Alberta
Unlveralty of Manitoba, Jan. 0.
WIPU.—After a lengthy discussion
whlob became boated at tlmea, tt
was decided at a mooting of tbo
Athletic Board of Control for tho
University of Manitoba that tho
swimming toam would not Journey
woat thia yoar to Alberta to com-
Site for th* Intercollegiate trophy,
uch as some members of the
board would have llk*d th* team to
go wsst, th* board decided, wtth
tho present condition of th* treasury, spsndlng $800 to aand a squad
of six to Bdmonton waa out of tho
queation.
MEET SARDIS
IN BASKET MIX
Intermediate A manager Al
Orant announces that arrangements havo been mad* to havo
two basketball teama from Sardts
Invade tho oampua on Friday
night. Thoy will bring a women'a team to play th* Inter*
mediate glrla and a man'a team
to moot th* Varsity's Intermediate A'a. Admission prlc** ar* ten
cents for students and twenty*
Bv* cents for all others.
Tho girl* •*• planning to havo
refreshments and it la hoped that
th*r* will bo a largo tarn-oat.
NAMES MAKE NEWS!
-••-w
Twice a weak representative advertisers place
their messages before you in your own newspaper. Every advertiser in the UBYSSEY has a
name that is important to you. They are names:
whieh assure ua—which we can trust—which
suggest integrity. They are most earnest in
their desire to provide you with products snd
services of the best possible quality. The
The UBYSSEY is the means of your keeping up
with college sctivities—a way of knowing where
to buy, what to buy, how much to spend. A
reminder of the best places to shop, the easiest
way to save.
VARSITY WILL USE SPEED
TO VANQUISH PROVINCE
Saturday Night Win
Can Put Cagers on Top
Ono* again Bob Brown's V. A. O.
gym will bo tho scene of an historic
struggls between perennial enemi**
in th* local basketball lague. Chuck
Jonas' slongated Province hoopers,
and Maury Van Vliet's flashy Collegiate oagers aro the two principals In this Saturday night tangle.
To date tho Jones' boys aro In
th*   driver's   seat, with S wins
against a slngl* loaa for an 18-
polnt total.  Tho U. lada havo a
firm grip on the second rung tn
th* Inter-City ladder, with S wins
and S loess*--a brae* of markers
behind th* N*way outfit.
All of whioh makes tho week-end
battle between these two teams aa
all-Important affair.   Alma Mater's
baskstballsrs sucossd in hurdling
tha laadara in thla tussle, they wilt
share honours for th* top slot with
the same team.   The other "It"—
which would Snd the Newaiea victorious—leaves the Provlnoe-ltea on
the top of the pile with a comfortable four-point margin.
BRAWN VS. SPBKD
The "dog-aght-to.be" will bo
between a duo of entirely different playing aqnads. Cheek Jestes*
hoopers r*ly on th*lr h*lght and
long heaving for victories* while
our recently bolstered Sealer A's
flash plenty of ape*d, sad ehalk
an   moat   of   tholr   basket*   oa
blocks, aad fast br*sks.
Th* basket "debate" of beifht
and brawn versus speed aad sharp-
shooting will be held before aa open
—w*   hope,   paoked—house   at   S
o'clock Saturday night at the V_A.O.
gym. Just a reminder—the Athletlo
Park gym will hold at least two or
three   hundred   Varaity   atudenta
without any trouble.
VARSITY GIRLS
BEAT PROVINCE
32-24
Close Contest as
Ferns Make Comeback
In a hard-fought cage match last
Wednesday the aanlor women'a baaketball team upset all predictions
whan they downed the mighty Pro-
vinco quintet 80-84.
Although Paaserini, the great
Newala atar, played and Incidentally scored 18 points, tho Province
simply could not withstand tho hard
checking of the students. The game
waa fairly even up until the closing:
minutes when the Co-eds, with a
last desperate effort, sank three
baakets to win.
FORT GARRY TOO OOOD
Nest on the list for the Varsity
girls waa Fort Garry, but they
proved to be a little too much.
After the flrat half,whieh ended 14
all, the battle continued until th*
laat f*w minute* when the Garry-
Its* clicked on their shots to eke
out a 88*84 Win.
Thia game, marred by incompetent refereelng, la being protested
both ooaches.  Pusslei Who provid-
vided the Inspiration at both games
by both eoaohes. Pussls: Who pro-
Furthering their remarkable record, the Intermediate Girls lost to
Province by 41-8—an Improvement
of 88 points on their laat came.
Porter scored the three markers.
Rowers, Ruggers
Plan To
Enter Merck Meet
University oarsmen are pleasur-
ably priming the Inner man ln anticipation of tbe traditional Rowing
Club banquet to bo held tonight
Arrangements are ln the capable
hands ot Frank Underhiil and the
Xaf Xing promises tbe best of grub.
Important will be tbo outline _t tho
term's program given by tbe eoaohes and olub president MoDuffee.
Suoh olub projects aa the muoh-dla-
ousaed still-water float to be built
on the oampua and the next regatta
will be put before the enthusiastic
rowers. Borne ot the details for
the building of tbe float have not
yet been completed, but the float
will definitely be constructed, ao*
cording to President Wilson MoDuffee. •
Valiants of tbe ever-victorious
Bnglish Rugby Club may invade another activity with tbo will to win
lust as strong ln mind. MoDuffee
bas approached the rugby boys on
the possibility of the Bnglish code
boys entering a rugger eight into
tho March regatta. The Vanoouver
Rowing Olub have successfully established this competition ot a rugger eight with a regular orew as
a olub tradition. It Is hoped tbat
U. B. C. will not be slow ln following their example.
I GIT MY CLOTHES end
FURNISHINGS
CHAS. CLAMAN
315 WIST HASTINGS
Sry     91'.
< C AHS  *
ntanaaart Mob Strain. 'S3
SASAMAT  BARBER
SHOP
Ladies' snd Gsntlsmsn'a
Halrcuttlng
4473—10th AVI. WIST
Public Stenographer ;f
Nast, Accurate Work
At Popular Lending Library   '
4488 W. 10th AVINUS P. 0. 87
it**********************
She Unfuersftu
of Srftfeh (Columbia
LAST DAY FOR PAYMENT OF
SECOND TERM FEES
JANUARY 18th, 1937
All cheques must be certified and made payable to
The University of British Columbia
Mailing certified cheques to the Bursar is
recommended.
For Regulations governing fees see Calendar,
pages 32 to 36 inclusive
BURSAR, UNIVERSITY OF BRITISH COLUMBIA

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