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The Ubyssey Dec 9, 1938

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 Published Twice Weekly by The Publications Board of The University of British Columbia
Vol. XXI.
VANCOUVER, B.C., FRIDAY, DECEMBER 9, 1938
No. 20
This is, perhaps, the most beautiful photograph over taken
time. Taken from the familinr willow tree it shows the leafless
to the students of the winter session. Many similar photographs i
will be fovuid in the 300 page 1939 Totem. Totems will be print-
order them in advance. $1 down buys your Totem.
—photo by Ted Underhiil
of   the   library   in   the   winter
foliage which is more familiar
n blaek mul white and in color
d  for only  thoso students  who
NEW BUILDING
IS EXPECTED
BY LOAN BILL
GOVERNMENT ALLOTS
-B3SO.OOO
Sir Fredrick Banting
Outlines Qualities of a
Good Research Worker
SCHOLARSHIPS FOR
EXCHANGE STUDENTS
With the announcement of the
Exchange Scholarships for 1030-40, a
limited number of third year students at U.B.C. have the opportunity of obtaining a year's scholarship
at  some   other  Canadian   university.
Sponsored by the National Federa-
ation of Canadian University Students, these scholarships enable students to study at an "exchange" university for one year, without paying
either tuition fees or Students'
Union Fees.
SECOND CLASS AVERAGE
U.B.C.  will  not  consider  a   student  who  has  not  made  at  least
•8%     average,    or    seoond    olass
standing.     U.B.C.   selection   committee  Includes   the   Dean   of   the
faoulty ln whloh the student is registered.
An   exchange   student   Is   expected
to  be  representative  of   his  "home"
university In every way,  so that  he
may enter freely Into the life of the
"exchange"   university   without   fear
of classroom consequences. The general idea Is to act as a check on the
tendency     of     Canadian     university
students    to    become    restricted    on
out-look, both academically and geographically.
All applications must be ln the
hands of the local Selection Committee on or before the 1st day of March,
1030.
DOCTOR MORSH IS
INSTITUTE SPEAKER
SATURDAY EVENING
The Anal leoture of the autumn
session of the Vanoouver Institute
will be held on Saturday evening
In Room 100 of the Arta Building
of the University. The speaker
will be Dr. Joseph E. Morsh, of the
nlversity's Department of hlloso-
phy, and the subject '•Bootleg
Psychology."
The chair wlU be taken at 8: IS
, by Institute Prealdent, John Ridington.
The B.C. Electric Railway provides buses at Sasamat Street,
whloh go directly to the University and wait there until the close
of the lecture. Institute lectures
are free to the public.
Honesty, Unselfishness, Imagination and Will Power
Among Characteristics
"The science of today ls the research of yesterday and the research
of today will be the science of to
morrow," declared Sir Frederick
Banting, noted research scientist in
his address to a capacity student au
dlence under the auspices of the
Monro Pre-med Club Monday noon
ln the Auditorium.
Sir  Frederick  is the head of the
medical research committee of the
National     Research     Council     and
made his only public appearance In
Vanoouver  here  at  the   University.
He is making  an extensive tour of
the    Dominion   surveying   conditions
for  future research units,
HONESTY.
During the course of the lecture he
outlined the characteristics necessary
for a research worker.
The first of these, ls transparent
honesty. If the results are not honest,
they will bring discredit to the Institution for which the scientist ls
working.
Unselfishness is another necessary
qualification. All work must be done
through a spirit of co-operation. The
workers must be willing to contribute
Ideas and to receive them.
OBSERVATION.
The research scientist must also be
observant. "There are people present
who go about without seeing." said
Sir Frederick. "It ls possible to train
the powers of observation." he added.
Common sense, Is the most common sense qualification for such a
scientist, and the speaker pointed out
that many people do curious things
ln the name of research. This would
not be the case, If they possessed
that necessary characteristic ot common sense.
Tenacity and will power were
other factors which make a good
selentist. He will not let the problem go until he has arrived at the
answer, and he will finish what he
started before beginning a new line
of study.
IDEALIST.
Imagination, a free form of thinking, was the origin of research and
will form a part of his nature. Above
all the research worker ls an Idealist.
He will be prepared to make sacrl-
nces for his work and to work under
the conditions as they exist ln his
surroundings. In other words, he will
flt Into the scheme of things as lt Is
today.
In      conclusion      Sir      Frederick
Banting  stated:   "We  can do  with
our lives what we set out to do. It
is work that counts. I don't believe
In    cleverness,    I    believe    in    hard
work,   thoughtful   work."
"The   contribution   of   research    to
mankind, is the giving away—that ls
what is Important."
ALMA MATER
PLEADS FOR
CAF  PROFITS
BOARD     DECIDES     TO
KEEP   CONTROL    IN
OWN    HANDS
The Board of Qovernors of the
University at their last meeting refused to grant the request of the
Students' Council for permission to
take over control of the University
Book Store and the University Orlll
-conventionally known  as the   Caf.
The   Alnui  Mater   Society   representatives had felt that the profits
derived   from   these   two   business
ventures    on    the    Campus    might
well be utilized to swell the coffers
for the  Brock  Memorlul  Building,
und  in  addition  to  provide  a  possible    means    of    employment    of
energetic     but     impecunious     students.
Support  for the  proposal  of  Council, It  ls  reported,  was the  fact that
many   of   the   American   University
Student Bodies hold full control over
such  financial  ventures  on  their  respective   Campuses.
Although there has been no definite statement regarding the matter,
it Is expected that a Preventive Medicine or Bacteriology Building will
be constructed on the campus In
1030.
The Loan Bill whloh was passed
by the Provincial Legislative Assembly, Wednesday, makes It pos
slble for the government to obtain
up to gSSO.OOO for the erection of a
building on the university grounds.
PROMISE TO COUNCIL
Assurance has been received by the
Students Council that the government la ln favor of doing some sort
of building work on the campus and
will look Into the matter more fully
aa soon as house Is prorogued. The
Cabinet will look Into the matter
more fully.
If the Oovernment decided to construct the building it will have to
borrow the sum necessary. Students'
Council hopes the cabinet- will also
deal with the matter of fees as soon
as the pressure of session work ls
slackened.
It Is felt that the government's
sincere Interest In the' university
was demonstrated when In November they passed a budget providing
lor an Increase of $20,000 In the
grant   to   the   university.
COUNCIL ANNOUNCES
CLUB NOTICE RULES
From   now   on,   says   Council,   the
notices of campus clubs and societies
must   be   posted   ln   thetr   respective
places    on    the   quad    notice    board.
Furthermore,  they must be censored
und signed by Evan ap  Roberts, representing;  the   Student  Council   staff.
These     it-gulatiops     have     been
passed with the view thut they will
save the duplication of posters and
so   stop   the   overstress   of   single
activities,  and  ulso  that  they  will
prevent flagrant signs from reaching  the eyes  of  the students.
The practice of posting signs in a
marked place on the quad board has
been  made  for several  yeara by  the
C.O.T.C.    which,    as   a    member   explains,   demonstrate!-   the   efficiency
of the army.
STRUAN    ROBERTSON,    L. S. E.
member of the Student's Council, Is
Investigating the possibility of establishing a chapter of the Phi Beta
Kappa fraternity on this campus.
Phi Beta Kappa Is the oldest of
all fraternities, being established ln
1786. Membership is honorary, and
requires a first class academic standing and an active Interest In student
activities.
It Is felt that If a chapter was
started here lt would provide an
added Impetus and Incentive to student activities and to the standard
of academic work.
During the Christmas holidays a
member of our Faculty will visit
California to And the opinion of the
Callfornlan chapter regarding the
establishment of a chapter on this
campus.
Phi Beta Kappa would become international tf lt established a chapter at U.B.C, since lt has always
been confined to the United Statea,
STUDENT DIRECTORY
WILL   SUPPLY   ALL
INFORMATION FOR 10c
You'd better send her a Christmas card this year, just to show
her that you are thinking about
her. Don't know the address? Well,
what's the Student Directory for?
Just slap a dime down on the A.
M. S. counter, and the names and
addresses of all the students on the
oampus are  at your disposal.
Or why not surprise her by a
phone-call on Christmas Day to
exchange the greetings ot the season? Phone numbers are also In
this  handy  little  green  book.
+.    Your Horoscope Will Tell ^
w Whether Or Not You Pass    **
Aimless wanderings through the cut' and the library have
l>rought to light one of the greatest euriosities in the University
of Hritish ('oluinbia-—the freshman who does not worry about
tlie Xmas Xams.
Truly t\ rarity; an oddity in this period of mental strain and
stress.
Hut  not  a  genius; not  a prodigy.
SCIENTIFIC APPROACH
On the other hand a seieneeinan. A student of the seienee of
Astrology.
Hlissi'iilly did he talk about nadirs, aseendants, descendants
and eon.juuetions when asked why he did not worry about the test.
Astrologically I Inferred that his soul was in oomplete
harmony with the astral vibrations so he did not fear
lest he should fail the tests.
"The diites themselves are they in harmony with all the
students who are cursed with these exams as a Xmas present
from  the  University?"
lie had to consult  Raphael.
He consulted Raphael.
The results :
CAPRICORN (the goat). Those"
born under the Influence of the constellation of Capricorn are sure to
squeeze by if they did not act the
gouts and leave the room without
revising  their   papers.
AQUARIUS   (the   water  carriers).
These are bound to be a sure failure. Thu temperament of the Aquarians is too much in accord with the
whether conditions. They can not
hope to pass even though they liquidate u.11 their knowledge.
PISCES (the flsh). These are sure
to puss, since there ls a closed fishing   season   all   Pisceans   will   escape
unscathed.
ARIES (the ram). The arlens
would have a hard time -writing the
exams, for they have followed their
professors too blindly during the
term. Like all Aryans they have too
much blind faith ln  their Fuhrer.
TAURUS (the bull). Doubtful!.
There ls an Inclination here of too
much   Bull.
GEMINI (the twins). Artsmen will
pass. Oemlnis will barely obtain a
SO'/r average because of their dual
personalities  they  will   be    likely   to
leave half of their knowledge at
home. Tough on sciencemen who
need 60%.
LEO (the lion). Their success depends on their liability. Favorable
If they do not take the examinations
lying down.
CANCER (the crab). Cancertans
had better accept the results as published. If they 'crab' the new marks
will leave a sore spot on their
tongues.
VIROO (the virgins). These are
sure of first classes. Because of their
Innate modesty and naivete they will
not come unprepared and try to
bluff.
LIBRA (the scales). Libra ns must
-weigh thetr answers accurately if
they wish to pass. They must also
be quick  for  there ls  no waiting.
SCORPIO (the scorpion). They
will not pass. They will be sorely
stung.
SAGITTARIUS (the arrow). Sag-
Ittarlans are a cinch to pass for they
are   write   at   home.
"Any  exceptions  to  the  rules?"
"Two."
"All pubsters are a cinch not to
pass for professorial love is against
them."
"Me. I love my work, and my Love
ls   with   me."
Further  predictions.
All students will start In Hope and
finish   ln   Despair.
TO ENLARGE
CAMPAIGN
COMMITTEE
A NEW MEMBER FROM
EACH  FACULTY
"Undergraduates from the three
faculties Arts, Science and Agriculture will be appointed to the Students' Campaign Committee early
next year by the Student's Council,"
stated Carson McOulre. A.M.S. president, yesterday.
This policy Is being adopted firstly
to increase student representation
on the Committee; secondly, to give
each faculty a voice on the Committee.
POSSIBLE APPOINTEES
Among those being considered by
Council are: Len Zink, president of
the Agriculture Undergraduate Society; Darrell Braldwood, president of
the Artsmen's Undergraduate Society, Speaker of the Political Discussions Club and prominent debater of
the Parliamentary Forum; and
Charles Nash, president of Science
•43.
Appointments will not be made
until after Christmas.
UBYSSEY FATHOMS
DR. SEOGEWICK'S
EXHIBITIONISM
The   enigma   of  Dr.   Sedgwick's
love   of   displaying   his   histrionic
abilities In lectures has been solved
at laat. Owing to a great discovery
by   a   member   of   the   "Ubyssey"
this   entertaining    peculiarity — ao
familiar to all students In English
—has been traced to its origin.
Writing  in the  November issue  of
the   "Rotarlan"   under   the   caption.
"Why   Professors,   How   Can   You?"
James   Linn,   professor   of   English,
University   of   Chicago,   makes   the
following illuminating remark:
PROFESSORS ARE ACTORS
"Professors who like teaching
have also generally some strain of
the actor in them, and take pleasure
In   performing   before   an   audience.
Klttredge   of   Harvard were
great scholars, or at any rate great
men,  and   they  were  also  great  actors In the classroom, taking delight
In  their own  roles."
Now ....
It is alleged that Dr. Sedgewlok
haa  great  admiration,    and   even
affection   for  Professor   Klttredge,
who happens to be one of his former professors.    He speaks of him
aa   "one  of  the   greatest   thinkers
and   scholars  In   America   today."
He continues by saying, "He Is a
man  for  whom  I  have  a  sincere
admiration and for whom I nourish a deep personal  feeling of affection!"
OFFICIAL SWEATERS
CHOSEN BY AGGIES
FOR CAMPUS WEAR
The Aggie faculty are to have their
first official sweaters.
At a meeting of the Undergraduate society it was decided that the
new sweaters were  to  be in  Royal
blue    and    Mary    yellow,    a    dress
sweater   with    a    blue    and  yellow
crest.
The    insignia    will    have    "Aggie"
printed diagonally across lt, with the
year   and   the   traditional   bunch   of
wheat ln opposite corners.
Ten orders have been placed In two
days and It ls expected that the Aggie boys will be dazzling the eyes of
those that survive the Xmas exams
with their gay pullovers. wo
THE    UBYSSEY
Friday, Dcooiuber 9, 19:?8
THE  UBYSSEY
issued twice weekly by the StudenU' Publication Board of the Alma Mater
Society of the University of British Columbia
Office: 206 Auditorium Building
Campus Subscriptions, $1.60
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
Dorothy  Cummings
SENIOR  EDITORS
Tuesday
Jack Mair
ASSOCIATE   EDITORS
James Macfarlane
Phone Point Grey 206
Mall Subscriptions, $2.00
Friday
Robert King
Irene Eedy
Ozzy Durkin
Van Perry
Joyce Cooper
Rosemary Collins
ASSISTANT EDITORS
Jack Mercer
Lester Pronger
C.   U.  P.   STAFF
fl        Editor
James Macfarlane
Assistants
Van Perry Ann Jeremy Joyce Cooper
PUB. SECRETARY CIRCULATION MOR.
Virginia Galloway Harry Campbell
REPORTORIAL  STAFF
Jaok Margeson. Helen Hann, Pat Keatley. Joan Thompson, BUI Backman.
Joan Haslam, Ted Underhiil, Jacques Metford, Ruth Millar. Janet Walker.
Brlta Vesterback, Bob Manson, Florence Hurndall, Bill Osborne, Ken Vernon,
Frank Spencer, Doreen Henderson.
SPORTS  STAFF
Editor: Orme Dier
Assoolatesi Basil Robinson, Myrne Nevlson
Assistants:   Lionel  Salt,  Jim Harmer,  Ormle  Hall,  Frank   Turner,   Austin
Frith, Byron Straight, Ted Pallas.   	
Advertising Office
Standard Publishing Co.. 1037 Pender Street West, Vancouver, B.C.
Telephone: SEYMOUR 4484
All advertising handled exclusively by Standard Publishing Co.
Editorials
THE CAMPAIGN
During the last week it has heen proven to the students that
their decision in appointing a Campaign Committee was a wise
move. With the possibility of a -&350,000 building program on the
campus, six of the nine stated objectives of tho campaign committee have beon realized in whole or in part.
On September 2 of this year they won their first victory and
reached one of their goals when limitation was removed from the
university registration rules. During the month of November the
repercussions of their efforts toward financing the annual operations of the university when the university grant was increased by
$25,000.
Another of the committee's stated objectives was to facilitate
the erection of a Union Huilding. As they are a committee of the
Students' Council they may receive a large share of the credit-for
the success with which this project has met this year.
And this week it Seems that yet another of their objects will
be realized with the possibility of a building program on the campus. Although the erection of one building is not a complete victory for the committee it will go a very long way toward adequate
accommodation and with care, is sufficient for the purposes of the
university at present. With the new accommodation the only seriously overcrowded building on the campus will be the library.
It is difficult to measure the success of the committee in their
first objective of gaining the support of the people of the province
for the university. Yet it is the opinion of many that the committee has met with reasonable success in the matter. At least they
have gained the support of a number of the members of the government.
The committee did plan to work for a complete utilization of
all tho facilities found at the university. A great deal of time and
thought was spent on this program and the committee presented
a detailed brief on this subject to the university authorities. Members are not completely satisfied with the manner in which this
part of their work was carried out by tho university but they are
confident that their plan is feasible and could be carried out should
the issue arise.
Another of their projects was to press for a revision of University courses along the lines of modern higher education. Members of the committee believe that rearrangements of time-tables
and courses along these lines will be considered before next fall.
The only work which has not yet been done is to maintain the
fees at an equitable level and to foster endowments for buildings,
equipment, research and scholarship. Both these are very big projects and will take time before they can hope to succeed. However, the flrst of the two is being considered by the government
and there is a possibility that action on the matter may be taken
very soon.
The problems of the committee have been solved little by little
and many of them not completely but it is truly amazing that the
committee should have accomplished so much in such a short time.
Not only was it the right thing to appoint such a committee to
deal with tho problems but apparently the right men were appointed to the committee.
EX VICTORIA COLLEGE STUDENTS
There will be no Varsity Ball in Victoria this year.
The College is holding a CHRISTMAS DANCE at the
Royal Victoria Yacht Club, on Monday, December 39.
Dancing   from   9   until   1.   Admission   $1.00   per   couple.
Refreshments. lien   Acres'   Orchestra
*ffi
fa**
*c°
*1
Diamonds, Watches, Personal Gifts
FIRBANK and LANGE
USE  OUR  CREDIT PLAN
Seymour  and  Dunsmuir Opp.  the Bus Depot
This business of having to wait a
week   for  each  paper  ls  becoming  a
little tiresome, for by
OIL AND the time seven days
WATER. have  passed  by  on   the
glittering sands of time
all that was included ln the pages of
our rag  is forgotten.
But, as every tedious after-dinner
speaker always warbles, bear with me
while I recall to your attention the
background of the present situation I
I am going to refer you to a small
story that heralds much verbal
wrangling, a story with the following
head: "Small Clubs on Campus to
Unite."
Yes, our diplomat ls at lt again.
"Tentative plans for the amalgamation of some of the 42 campus clubs
and societies are being made by
Struan Robertson." The writer of said
story felt that Mr. Robertson could
see a similarity of purpose In many
of the organizations.
Now to take a few of the proposed
suggestions. The unification of the
S.C.M. and the V.C.U. ls suggested.
The S.C.M., as most people ken, ls
the Student Christian Movement, the
V.C.U., the Varsity Christian Union.
Apparently the fact that each ls a
religious organization ls to be sufficient ground for combining the two.
But can any rationally Intelligent
human being Imagine a group ot
parlcur pinks' working together with
an equally active society of 'repressed fundamentalists'. The two clubs
could fight each other for any given
period of time on any question proposed. Once again let your Imagination picture the same two clubs
agreeing on such questions as the
Divinity of Christ, or the Resurrection. Oood stuff 'for interminable
controversy, that! The S.C.M. might
say that lt really doesn't matter, but
that would only make matters worse.
No, saying that Just because two
clubs are religious they should combine ls parallel to the statement that
since all men are human beings they
should be one, which sounds like
communism or something worse, and
besides Struan  isn't a communist.
Well the tlrst' coupling doesn't appear to be very promising. The next
triad Is worse. A unification of the
Law Club, the Parliamentary Forum
and the Political Discussion Club.
Their common characteristic is that
they talk.
But I am entertaining grave fears
that members of any one of said societies will not consider that whereof
they speak to be of wide enough
scope to satisfy simultaneously members of two other organizations. Since
the Law Club was created as a herald
of a new Law Faculty, to smother It
ln a conglomerate mass of ponderous,
heavy winded debaters would be sacrilege.
Well, surely those are enough Illustrations to damn at least part of this
radical scheme. I admit overlapping
of Interests ls a danger on this campus, but to try to overcome same by
amalgamations ls doomed to failure.
Democracy gives the right to speak
and think indlvlduallstlcally. Where
unification of clubs will limit the
mental realms of some, lt ls definitely
a bad thing.
A little matter that came to our
attention on Saturday last ls worthy
of grave mention here.
THANKS! At 11 a.m. the Initial
performance of the Metropolitan Opera Association was
brought to this Auditorium by direct
wire for the benefit of students. An
excellent scheme, with every virtue,
the broadcast received the support of
our eager Campus to the extent of
about six persons, and I happened
to be one of them, leaving five as a
grim total attendance.
This sort of behaviour reveals a
tragic lack of culture ln our student
of today. The Caf was full of simpering males and females, all resolutely
discussing each other and quaffing [
pints of Coca-cola. (Not advertising.)
Somehow It ls easier now to understand why people are hesitant to introduce new services for the students.
Their appreciation generally amounts
either to destructive, and empty criticism, or  to 0.5  per cent, support.
JLooixinQ
With Christmas exams ln the offing one's mind naturally turns to the
serious things of life. So I have decided to try and create an atmosphere, beneficial to study. Here,
therefore, Is a most illuminating
treatise on Psychoanalysis for those
who are struggling with Psychology
1  by a  fellow sufferer of  1923.
RESTORATION OF SELF RESPECT
"Psychoanalysis has conferred at
least one great blessing upon humanity: It has given new and attractive
names to things which have always
appeared rather trivial or even disagreeable. You must admit that the
word 'complex' ls superior ln every
way to 'ornery.' This new nomenclature has thus become a powerful
force to restore the self respect of
humanity.
"For Instance, ln primitive times,
if you announced to your fellows
that you had dreamt of being chased
by a blue leopard with pink eyes, the
elders of the tribe sat ln Judgment
on you and coming to the conclusion
that you had offended the gods they
delivered you over to the witch doctor, who pounded you with a club
until you felt normal.
"If you had such a dream ln mod
em times,  people at once asked  the
unsympathetic   question   'What   had
you been eating?'
SUPPRESSED DESIRES.
"But when the psychoanalysists
came along you had a reason that
was both dignified and satisfying.
Freud substituted ancestors and instincts for indigestion. Your subconscious self found a place in your conversation. That blue leopard, for example, was the symbol of some su-
pressed desire, a sign that you were
ln the hands of destiny. It proved
that you had a secret sorrow, for
people who are perfectly happy never
dream about blue leopards.
"But the best thing of all ls the
dual personality. In the flrst place,
If the You of today ls not necessarily
the You of yesterday lt relieves you
of the obligation to be consistent and
gives you a chance to display a little
versatility.
YOU AND YOU.
"If you make any blunder, you
have always that other self as a
scapegoat. Passing the buck thus becomes a science. Till now it had been
only a nart.
"Of course you must remember that
a dual personality ls an entirely psychic affair. In spite of material laws
your two selves can occupy the same
place at the same time. If you fail to
grasp this you will soon arrive at the
mental state of a certain Freudian,
who by too great introspection and
too great readiness to Jump at conclusions, came to believe that he was
twins and refused to accept any invitation unless it was issued in duplicate.
"Which, as Euclid says, Is absurd."
PRORLEMS  OF  1083.
Etiquette seemed to play a big part
In the life of the students of 1923.
They even ran a column on lt. Here
is one problem:
"The other night I was out to supper and they put me next to the
daughter of the house. She ls crosseyed, poor soul, and she ate off my
plate all the time, so I didn't get a
bite to eat. At the end of the meal
her Mother asked me if I had had
enough. I said I had. Do yV>u think
my  answer  was Justified?"
Came  the reply:
"No, Puzzled, you were not Justified
because you went and told a He and
telling lies ls naughty. But tell me,
Puzzled, was the girl's Mother Scotch
or did she really not notice the incident?"
LOST
Black Shaeffer's pen with spots,
Monday. If found please return to
Mr.   Home's   office.
EDITOR'S NOTICE
The Editor has received three unsigned letters which have not appeared In the Ubyssey. If you do not
wish your name to appear with your
letter include a pseudonom and indicate that you wish to be anonymous. For the protection of the
Ubyssey no letters are published
which ure not accompanied by »
signature.
'!»'» the moit colourful tree we ever d retted"
"Thank* to those gorgoout Sweet Cmp*\"
SWEET CAPORAL CIGARETTES
"The pur tit form in which tobacco can be smoked."
t.
"Let me serve your oar and your oar will serve you"
"Prank" Pioke
U.B.C. SERVICE STATION
24-Hour Emergency Service. Complete Repair Facilities.
SOUTH END OF MoOILL ROAD PT. OREY SS
llltlltllltlltllllllMIMIItllllllllMHItllllMIIIIMIIIIIIIIIIIMIMIIMMMMIIIIIIMMMtlMIMIIIIIIIIHIIIIIIIIIIIIIUIIMtMtlllllllllllllllKI
Gifts  That Carry Happy Memories  Down  Through
The  Years
Fraternity and Sorority Jewellery
Rings -- -       Pins -- Brooches
Separate Crests  for Compacts, etc.
SILVERSMITHS
GOLDSMITHS
BIRKS
DIAMOND
MERCHANTS
OFFICIAL FRATERNITY JEWELLERS
• ■HIIIIMMIIIIMIIIMIItMMIHIIItlllMllllttMMtlllllMIMMIMtttlMIIMIIIIittMIUMIMMlltlMIMUIMtlllllMIMIIMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMtllt
MllllMMMIMIIIIMHMHIIIMMIHIIIIMIMHIMMMIMMIIIMMMIIMIMnilllllllllltMMMHllllllMMIMMtlMMItlMMIMIIIIMMMIMMMMH
UNIVERSITY BOOK STORE
Hrs.: 9 a.m. to 0 p.m.; Saturdays B u.m. to noon
LOOSE LEAF NOTE BOOKS, EXERCISE  BOOKS AND
SCRIBBLERS
AT REDUCED PRICES
Oraphic   Engineering   Paper,   Biology   Paper, XMAS CARDS
Loose  Leaf  Refills,  Fountain  Pens  and  Ink NOW  ON
and Drawing Instruments. SALE
iiiilll(lilll(illiiiiiiiiiiiiliiiiliiiiiMiili,,li«llil,Miililllltili,l«,i,i,liiiiim,,,iiiiiiii,,i*i,li,,,„l,ii,il(,i,lill,lllll,llll,l,ll,fl„il,
HOTEL
OOPPEE SHOP
and
DINING ROOM
Fountain for
After Theatre
GEORGIA
LUNCHEONS
DINNERS
TEAS
DANCES...
formal or Informal.
SEY. 5748
J
tAake him Happy
with a Gift from
ESQUIRE
A Pair of
Silk PYJAMAS
Soft lustrous silk pyjamas are what e v er y
man wants. Get him a
pair in deep maroon, or
royal blue. It's a gift
that will be long remembered.
$3.50
Boy! Will
HE like a
gift like this.
A OOMPLETE
DRESS OUTFIT
No more last-minute hunting tar studs or collar buttons.
What man doesn't need a set of dressing utensils? Get him
one of these beautifully matched sets.   A_2, OO
Acquire Distinction
at
ESQUIRE   men's apparel
2664 ORANVILLE
SOUTH GRANVILLE'S TIP TOP AGENTS Friday, December 9, 1938
THE    UBYSSEY
Three
CHANG SUEY
in
Mary Ann Land
Chapter Nine   (Conclusion, If we get
a B.A.C.)
Thunder   was  clapping  his   hands,
stamping    his    feet,    and    generally
raising a  devilish  row.  Skinny trees
were waving their arms madly about
ln   the  wind,   like  prospective  members of the Pip Club trying to  raise
a   cheer.   And   between   the   roars   of
thunder,    an     unknown    voice    was
wafting  a  song across  the campus:
'•Oh, I must see Rannle tonight.
I must see Rannle tonight.
Oh why did his pa have a forty-
four?
And why waa he there between
between me and the door?
And   why   were   we   up   on   the
fifteenth floor?
Oh, I must see Rannle tonight!"
MONTIS CARLO
The flashes of lightning split the
darkness inside the Library to reveal Simon Fraser and his friends
shooting craps.
They were  rolling Simon's Ivories,   and   at   that   point   the   local
kid had I.O.U.'s for three Indian
blankets, m drip percolator, and a
third Intereat In a squaw.
The clicking of the cubes was the
only sound other than the crackling
of a few French novels down ln the
stacks.
TURNING OVER A NEW LEAF
But suddenly the Greek encyclopaedias swung back, and Chang
Suey and the Dirty Nine Jumped out,
cleverly disguised as a nomadic band
of W. P.A. workmen.
The boya were out to raise merry
hell, and Carslse McMIre waa
trembling like the good ship S.S.
Muqulnna trying to beat a squall.
They slid down the glittering banisters, and vanished Into the card
catalogue,
FUNG WIDE THE GATES
At that same moment, Horace Q.
Fizzle and Patrolman W. Appleyard
were standing in a wide, dimly-lit,
underground cavern, to which they
had trailed the agent of Mary Ann
through innumerable secret tunnels
and doors.
"So this la Mary Annland 1" whls-
R. H. Marlow, society photographer, for fine portraits, phone Trin.
2187.
HOME GAS
Friendly smiling service—reliable economical products—these
are the stock-in-trade
of your neighborhood
HOME GAS dealer.
He is an independent
merchant selling British Columbia products.
HOME OIL
DISTRIBUTORS LTD.
The  Independent   100%
B. C. Company
OET VALUE
IN PRINTING
for the activities
of your—-
SORORITIES
FRATERNITIES
SOOIAL
and
OLUB  FUNCTIONS
THE
CLARKE & STUART
CO. LIMITED
Stationers and Printers
550   SEYMOUR   STREET
VANCOUVER, B.C.
pered Appleyard. "Look!"
He pointed that well-known Index
finger at the long lines of- workers
who were tolling silently on both
sides of them. They all had shovels,
and seemed to be very busy digging
up the dirt.
PRIMROSE   PATH
The    two    men    trod    the    narrow
path,   lined   with   blackened   reputations,   which   led   up   to   a   sort   of
rough castle, built entirely of dirt.
They   stealthily   sidled   Into   the
main hall, In whloh a great number of  parrots  were  flying  about,
and pushed open the central door.
There, sitting on u heap of Freshmen skins at the end of the room,
was Mary Ann.
It   was   a   terrible   sight.   The   ears
of  the creature  were  fully  four  feet
long,   and   they   waved   slowly   back
and forth, creating a strong draught.
The  eyes  and   mouth,   especially  the
tongue,  were  equally  out  of  proportion.
TUM TUM TI TUM
A horde of agents started to advance upon Horace and Willie, but
before they had gone ten feet, two
wlng-Jlngs flashed through the air,
to pin back Mary Ann's ears.
"Chang Suey!" screamed Horace,
and led the retreat.
But Chang  Suey  and the  Dirty
Nine   did   rot   attempt   to   pursue
them,  preferring   to  create   havoc
elsewhere.
For a few minutes later, a supercharged    pogo-stlck    screamed    to   a
stop   before   the   Seaforth   Armories,
and   they    piled   out    of   the   cabin.
They  crept   up   to   the   door,   peeked
in, and chuckled at what they saw.
For    there     was    the    C.O.T.C.
(sometime*  known   as  the   League
For Reviving The Old Songs That
Grannie    Used    To    Sing)     going
through some Intricate maneuvers
on Its collective stomach.
Chang     Suey     explained     that     a
dowdy   carrier   pigeon   had   hobbled
ln  from  the  East with a flash  from
O.H.Q.  that an army marches on its
stomach.
TWO  UP!   JOE!
For three months Colonel O.
(Makemine) Rum had been trying
to teach the outfit how' to wiggle
for effective yardage, but the men
had an annoying tendency to either
pick up slivers or take advantage of
their position by grabbing a bucksaw and tearing off a couple of cords
of inside fir.
At  that   moment,   however,   they
were     skirmishing     around     quite
freely,   wtth  an  eye  to  a  bribe  of
Angel cake and Ice cream.
It  was  in  the  middle  of  this  that
the Dirty  Nine,  led  by Chang  Suey,
goosestepped Into the hall with their
W.P.A.   shovels   on   their   shoulders,
and shouting:   "Hell  Hitler!"
AIR RAID! SKIRMISH!
The elements were with them, for
as they marched ln, a loud clap of
thunder broke overhead. For one
split second the C.O.T.C. goggled at
the C.O.T.C. Then somebody screamed:  "Storm troopers!"
And the whole outfit blasted out
the back of the building, and rocketed away in one compact, streamlined mass. Colonel Rum waa particularly fast, taking a Lewis gun
on his own three yard line, and going around right end for a beautiful gain before he waa stopped by
the Marine Building.
Several  midgets  were  trampled  to
death  before they could  so  much  as
squeal, and the company's goat mascot sat shivering and bleating ln the
corner,   peeled   like   a   grape   by   the
passing  cyclone.
STUDENT   PASSES
But Chang Suey and the Dirty
Nine were already floating off to
some new devilry, now disguised as
a one-man ban., selling pots of
poison ivy to poo*- old ladles, and
passing out free itcl< its to the Oreat
Wall of China.
(Will Chang get his B.A.C? Will
Horace Q. Fizzle? Will? If you want
to find out don't read the New Year
issue, read your notes!)
STUDENTS MOB
CAF AT LUNCH
DURINGEXAMS
DAILY     INCREASE     OF
TWELVE   DOLLARS
REPORTED
Campus Sorority To Hold
Night On Ice After Xams
FORMER UNIVERSITY
LECTURER AWARDED
Ph.D.   BY   OXFORD
Men's  Half  Soles 65c
Men's  Rubber  Heels     ._. 30c
Men's Leather Heels  40c
Ladles' Top Lifts  20c
Ladles' Rubber  Heels 85c
Full  Soles, Rubber Heels
and Shine $1.75
Shoes  Dyed  Black 40c
Work Done  While You Walt
HATS CLEANED & BLOCKED
— Expert Work  —
Free  Pick-up  and Delivery
Empire  Shoe  Rebuilders
713  GranvlUe Trinity 4733
Mr. Underhiil, the  manager of the
University   cafeteria,   reports   an   Increase   of   about   $10   to   $12   ln   the
daily  turnover.  Thus   he ' shows  that
all  our ideas concerning the greater
crowds   In   the   caf   lately,   have   not
been altogether unfounded. Of course,
ln exam time there are always more
there   anyway.   With   the   two   lunch
houra    now,   11:30   and   12:30,   there
should   be   more   room   In   the   caf;
aud   It  has   been   noticed   that   those
who formerly spent the greater part
of  their time  ln  there,  now  "evacu-
i-.te" It to make room for the others.
Concerning  students  themselves,
the  only complaint Mr.  Underbill'
has   to   make,   Is   the   practice   of
throwing  paper,  etc., all  over  the
floor. "They don't do It at home"—
he Buys. The buslcets are there for
u purpose, but their misuse keeps
the   caf   girls   busy   sweeping   the
broad expanse of floor all the time.
The noise, of course,  is deafening,
but,   says  Mr.   Underhiil,   "all   young
people make a lot of noise, anyway,"
Fortunately,    he    says,    the    fad    of
playing    heldelberg    on    the    tables,
which was all the rage not long ago,
le   out.   There   has   been   very   little
trouble   concerning   the   breaking   of
windows    from     yo-yos    and     other
agents.
On the whole, Mr. Underhiil thinks
the  students  are  "all   right."
ALUMNI PLAY
FEATURED BY
SATIRIC   WIT
RISK     DIRECTS     FAST
FURIOUS    COMEDY
ADEPTLY
Carol Arden, Hollywood's hottest
siren and former hash house waitress, made a personal appearance In
the Varsity auditorium Friday and
Saturday last.
Thla situation and its entanglements were admirably portrayed by
the Alumni Players' Club ln Its presentation of Laurence Riley's "Personal Appearance," last year's Broadway hit. The golden-haired lead was
Dorothy McKelvle Fowler, delightful
In every nuance of her part.
STARTLING FIRST ACT
An unusual flrat act was the showing of a movie made on the U.B.C.
stage two weeks ago, which starred
the "Carol Arden" who later appeared in person. Cyril Chave was
Ideal as the hayseed Inventor who
was blind to the passes of the blonde
menace.
DIRECTOR FROM  LONDON
James. Haggerty as Tuttle, the
publicity man, and Alice Morrow as
a hectic screen addict gave sparkle
to the play which was directed by
Sidney Risk. Mr. Risk is a former
Thespian himself, and has recently
returned from London to direct the
Spring Play for the  Players' Club.
LOST
Waterman's green and black fountain pen. Name on it. Return to Bert
Hosklns  or  Mr.  Home's office.
FOUND
A glove at Christmas Plays. Owner
please apply Pub. Office.
PEN LOST
Gray mottled ShaefTer pen lost
somewhere between the Arts and
Applied Science buildings. If found
please communicate with Norma McCallum at the Art's Letter Rack.
NOTICE
LOST: A copy of "Continuing
Oerman." Finder please return to D.
Henderson,   Arts   Letter   Rack.
_l IIIIIMIIII,HllllltllllllllllHHIIIIIIIItlMIIIIHIIIIlll,,,,,HUH,
Just   about   all   you   could   ask
for    .    .    .
ARISTOCRATIC
HAMBURGERS
Limited
10th and Alma
TAKE    SOME    HOME
MlltHMItlMIMHIIHItHlliniHHHHttlllHIHMtMMIIMIMHHi
IIMIMIItltlllltlllMtlltt llll ttlMIIIMintlllttllttlllllMIIIMItt Mil
H.  JESSIE   HOW,  B.A.
Public Stenographer
4481 -West lOtta Avs.
assays snd Tttmi Typed |
iiiiiiiiiiiiitimiimiiiimmiiiiiiiiiimiiiiiiiiimimiiimmiiii
James A. Olbson, well-known to
economics and history students at
U.B.C. last year as a lecturer ln
those departments, was awarded his
Ph.D. by Oxford University. Dr. Gibson's thesis was a biography of Sir
Edmund Head, Oovernor-Qeneral of
Canada from 1864 to 1861.
RHODES  SCHOLAR
Rhodes Scholar from B.C. ln 1931,
Dr. Olbson was prominent aa an undergraduate ln debating circles and
ln the Varsity Players' Club.
Last July he was appointed to the
Department of External Affairs at
Ottawa, and has since risen to become assistant principal secretary to
the  office  of  the  Prime  Minister.
December 19 is the date! Don't
forget it! Alpha Delta PI Nlte at the
Forum, so Alice Oavln, the convenor,
maintains ls going to be Just the
right combination of genuine entertainment in the form of one of Ouy
Patrick's professional hockey games,
and a thrilling exhibition of figure
skating  In  group  and  solo   numbers.
But that is not all, for Alpha Delta
Pi has promised alao that after refreshments all ticket holders will
onjoy a couple of hours on the blades
themselves In a private part of the
rink.
On the committee ln charge of the
arrangements for Monday, December
19 (Alpha Delta PI Nite) are Alice
Oavln, Elinor Bossy, Marion Kersey,
Dorothy Daniels, and Vera Radcliffe.
WOMEN'S LETTER
RACK SUFFERS A
SECOND REMOVAL
The Women's Letter Rack has been
transplanted again. It ls ln Its third
resting-place  ln as many months.
According to rumour ,lt has retired
to a dark, obscure corner behind the
lower commonroom door, whence It
will continue to divulge Its secrets
to those undaunted souls who have
the required brawn and endurance to
wade through a phalanx of determined females and umbrella stands.
Paramount reason for the pigeonholes' removal from the common-
room was the disturbance and consternation caused by Joe Colleges
frequently Invading the sanctuary to
post their fan mall! And the motive
behind the Initial move, it will be
remembered was the professors' desire to curtail the unnecessary noise
outside Arts 100, where the co-eds
called for and discussed said rapturous epistles.
fcven
fc\
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1%
\
<, <V.inne\
Beauuivf *f   ^   oi
0^
Stuart
cvu-t.«***
HO*
Boro*'*
-'/lei**
"JIU**
^\oo*
-M&ojl*
O^fggUe
*^S*bs%**\\
*v\ ««o**^« **^S3i«> ***_.
-jo***1*
Y***e .I*-**      A
»«*»**%__•
IV*'
DAVID SPENCER
LIMITED
"Always the Best at Spencer's" Four
THE    UBYSSEY
Friday, December 9, 1938
CONCORDIA
or
A Feast of Reason
rpHERE might be a Ph. D. kicking
■* around for someone who can explain the phenomenon illustrated ln
the picture immediately abaft these
words. There simply must be an explanation of the hold the adventures
of this brash and
simple youth have
on millions of
people, and lt
would make pretty erudite reading
as the gravemen
of a post-graduate thesis.
Come to think
of lt, there probably HAS been a
thesis written on
the subject, one which has already
turned another Ph.D. loose on a defenceless world from a mid-Western
college. That Li'l Abner ls the Idol of
a nation—nay, two nations—is a fact
so remarkable in itself that there ls
no possibility of lt having escaped the
notice and examination of the swarm
of social science students who hope
to arrange a better world.
There's no doubt whatever about
the facts. We ln the Vancouver Sun
have time and again questlonnalred
oross sections of our subscribers to
within an inch of their lives, begging
them to say lt wasn't so, to tell us
that Li'l Abner was NOT their favorite comic character. But every time
we retired defeated. They all said the
same as their opposite numbers ln
Kansas Olty, Toronto, Red Dog and
Mountain Misery — that Li'l Abner
their hero.
ALONG
By PROXY
Why this ls so lt would take a better brain than ours to tell. All we
oan suggest ls that everyone who
likes to follow "trends", or whatever
It ls they call whatever everyone ls
doing and thinking, should subscribe
to the Sun and follow Li'l Abner
closely and report later. Of oourse a
person of this kind would have no
Interest whatever in all the other
Sun comics and probably wouldn't
notice that there ls practically a
whole page of them every day and
eight  color pages every Saturday.
STENTOR.
LOST
A black Shaeffer by girl with spots
a week ago Monday. Please return to
Mr. Home's office.  (Error not ours.)
FOUND
One set of Chambers Mathematical
Tables ln Applied Science 208. Apply
Mr. Home's office.
MtlMIIIIMmHIIIIIIMIIIMHIHIIItlllllMllltlHIIIIIIIHItltlHIIII
VARSITY SERVICE
STATION
"AT THE OATES"
"OUR SERVICE MEANS
HAPPY MOTORING"
••MMMHMIIHMMIIHIIIIIHMIIIItMHHtlltHHIIIIHHIHMItlMMT
MHHIHIIIHIHIIMHIMItMHHIHHmHIHttMIHHHMMmiMtlllt
$32.50
4680  WEST   11th
Pt. Orey 293-R
Two   Single   Rooms;    Very
Comfortable;   Close  to Bus.
tllMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHMIIIIHIIIIIHIIHHIIIIIIIIIIIMIIIIIIIItll
Congenial home for 2 Students;
good table, hot water, moderate
rates.  Apply  to  Ubyssey  office.
Salisbury Ledge
(on the campus)
A VACANCY
FOR  NEXT   TERM
$30 a month;  3 meals a day.
DALHOUSIE has 3-room apartment
with frlgldalre for rent. Very reasonable. Why pay carfare when you can
live on campus? Phone Pt. Orey 833.
NOTICE
Class  or  Private   Coaching
SHURPASS   SCHOOLS
Oranville  at  Fifth   Avenue
Bay.  9497
And so another Fall Term
* •    •
Passes away. In most respects
* •    *
It's been Just about like
...
Any other term—Fall
* *    *
Or Spring.
...
Of course this year we had
«    *    *
The Varsity Band
...
Whloh  wasn't  too  bad, considering;
* •    •
And Varsity Time
...
Didn't get any worse, I'm sure.
.    *    *
The Pep Olub took many
* *    *
A beating—often from me.
...
But after all, remember that
* •    •
Ken Shaw and the lads
...
Did a lot of swell work
* *   *
Here and there.
...
Homecoming
* *    •
Was certainly tops, thanks to
...
Evan apRoberts. And
.    *    * ■
Canadian Football
.    *    •
Is definitely here
...
To stay. Our other teams
* •    *
Didn't do so well this fall,
...
But then
...
We aren't out here for athletics
...
Or are we?
...
At least so far
...
Carson McOulre
...
And the men of Council
...
Have done a decent
...
If erratic Job
...
Of running student affairs.
...
It's too bad that they
...
Didn't do a better Job at the
...
Pub-Council basketball  game.
...
You, If you are still with me,
...
Have probably realized by now
...
That thero are more bouquets
...
In this chapter of
...
Along the Mall
...
Than you ever thought poaaible.
4 * *
Well, while I'm dishing out
...
Compliments, I might as well
...
Toss one at myself.
...
PROXY,
...
Anyone will tell you,
...
Is one of the best
...
Columnists that's ever
.    «    *
Been turned out by our
* .    «
Ubyssey. I'd like to thank
* *    *
Dorothy  Cummings
* .    *
Our usually congenial
.    .    .
Editor-in-Chief, for giving me
Dance at
Commodore Cabaret
873  Granville'  Street
Seymour 41 for Reservations
FRATERNITY RUSHING
RULES
Tlie following uvv the Inter-fraternity Council rules for spring
rushing. It is requested by the Council Officials that all fraternity
mon und rushees read the regulations curcfully. Following this
issue of the Ubyssey it will be assumed that all persons concerned
are cognizant of matter herein contained.
FRATERNITY RUSHINO RULES
Freshmen shall be men registered
at the University of British Columbia for the first time at a regular
session In their flrst or second years
in any faculty of the University.
Any   pledge   coming   from   another
university to be classed as any other
non-fraternity   man   unless   accepted
by the Inter-Fraternity Council.
UUSHINO
Freshman rushing will commence
on the first day of the spring term,
no rushing Is allowed over Christmas vacation.
Association by fraternities with
freshmen Is allowable on the campus
during the fall term.
Unavoidable man to man rushing
must have permission of the prealdent of the Inter-Fraternity Council and later must be reported to
Ihe  Inter-Fraternity  Council.
Illegal,    but    unavoidable    contact
with    rushees   during   any   rushing
period, la allowable as long as there
are   at   least  two  fraternities   represented by two or more members. Any
such  contact  should  be  reported  to
the  president of the I.F.C.  for  consideration.
No fraternity shall rush or bid a
freshman who has an average of
less than 00% in all registered units,
in the examinations written at
Christmas.
OFF CAMPUS RULES
No association with freshmen off
the oampus, except as In Clauses Bl
and 2, before the flrst Monday of
the spring term and except when
riding to and from lectures at the
University.
The active ohapters of the various
fraternities are to be responsible for
the actions of the alumni of their
fraternity In regard to rushing.
Spring rushing shall begin the
second day of the spring term and
end the second following Monday
with  bidding on Tuesday.
TIMES
No Invitations to entertainments
shall be issued to freshmen by any
fraternity before S:00 p.m. on the
flrst day of the Spring term, and
no appointments for the purpose of
tendering these Invitations shall be
made before 8:00 a.m. on the first
day  of  the  Spring  term.
Previous to the day of bidding,
the prospective member may not
be given any Indication aa to whether he ls desired or not by the
fraternity   concerned.
Definition of Campus: for fraternity bidding purposes, the boundaries
of the campus shall be as follows:
East Mall, West Mall, North Side of
Parking Area, and University Boulevard.
BIDDING:
Bids to freshmen shall be Issued
between 9:00 am. and 1:00 p.m. on
the day of bidding. One man delegated by his fraternity shall deliver
the bid, on the campus (defined
above) and shall be allowed a maximum of fifteen minutes to deliver
said  bid.
All replies from prospective members shall come to the fraternities
through the Faculty Representative
on  the  second day from  the date  of
issue. Such replies to be submitted
to the office of the Faculty Representative of the Inter-Fraternity
Council between the hours of 0:00
a.m. and 1:30 p.m. on the Thursday
following the day of bidding.
There shall be no association or
communication     between    fraternities and prospective members during   the   period   of   silence,   which
shall extend from the time of the
Issuing of the  bid  until  0:00  p.m.
on Thursduy.
No    fraternity   man   Is   allowed,to
ride   ln   private   cars   with   freshmen
on  the day of bidding or during the
period  of  silence.
PLEDGING
No fraternity shall rush the pledge
of   another  fraternity.
Any man whose pledge has been
broken shall not be approached by
another fraternity for two weeks
after breaking of said pledge
No women shall be allowed at
any rushing functions.
Any rushing functions held during
the period from the second day of
lectures ln the Spring term until
bidding day must be held within the
Greater City limits of Vancouver,
which would Include the North Shore
and New Westminster. No overnight
(unctions to be permitted with the
exception of one function to be allowed to each fraternity, with a time
limit  of 24 hours.
PERMANENT
BORROWING
AT   LIBRARY
PAGES   SLICED   FROM
MAGAZINES   RUIN
SERIES
This chance.
...
And now
...
Because  I can't afford any more
...
Flowers, and because
...
I can't think of all those
...
Who deserve them, let me say
...
It's-been fun tearing you
...
To pieces this year, but
...
Now that it's all over
...
Let's not have any
...
Hard feelings. How about lt?
...
I'm sure even my worst critic
...
Will accept my hearty wishes
...
For a
...
Merry Xmas
...
And a
.    .    .
Happy
.    *    .
New
.    *     .
Year.
Shocking, but true, Is the state
found in the periodical room of the
I Library where students liberally
help themselves to the magazines
put on display for their convenience.
These unprincipled Irresponsible
kleptomaniacs have long been a problem to the library authorities, who
have as yet not been able to devise
a successful scheme to check their
stealing.
PERIODICALS BORROWED
Some magazine:, are Just borrowed and find their way back eo the
shelves after a couple of weeks. Professors themselves probably are most
guilty of this. The majority, however, fail to turn up at all. Those
that disappear tend to be, in the
large, from the average courses; the
research and honor course subjects
ore comparatively safer. Professors assigning material to students
from these sources find it necesary
to  place  the  periodical  on  reserve.
Those wno do not go as far as to
take magazines away destroy their
usefulness by clipping pages and even whole sections from them. Graphs
and statistical data are most in demand and this points to Commerce
students who appear to be losing
thetr code of ethics early  ln  life.
The Gillette Razor Co. are partially to blame for this ln that they
have provided an ideal Instrument ln
their  razor blade  knife.
One honor student last summer In
searching for data found that all the
material on the subject he was working on was taken from the "Commercial Intelligence Journal" for as
far back as 1922. This pamphlet sells
for a small sum but as there are no
back Issues available the Information  it  contains   is   Invaluable.
All magazines purchased by the
Library are considered worthy of
binding. This means that missing
numbers have to be replaced and
although the Individual cost of
eaoh is not great the total contributes greatly to the Library's
unnecessary expenses.
Totems
will be
printed
only for
those who
order  now.
Start On Evan Ttrmi
with Any Other  Student
by getting
the Pen that has
What It Takes to
help you rate marks
Shows you when to refill — so it
won't run dry In classes or tests
To start the term on a par with anyone
else in your class back your brains with a
Parker Vacumatic. This revolutionary pen
won't let you down by running dry unexpectedly. Held to the light it shows the
ENTIRE ink supply—shows when to' refill. It holds so much ink you need fill it
only 3 or 4 times from one term to the
next.
The Scratch-proof Point of 14 karat
Oold writes like a breeze, because it's tipped with jewel-smooth Otmtrldlum. Oo to
any good pen counter and try this laminated Pearl and Jet beauty. Look for the
smart arrow clip which identifies the genuine and distinguishes the owner. The
Parker Fountain Pen Co., Limited,
Toronto, Ontario.
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AGENTS  FOR
PARKER FOUNTAIN PENS
WORLD WIDE NEWS
Open Day and Night Across from the Commodore
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• IIIIHIIIIIIIIIIIIMMIIIIIM Illlllllll LATEST     1mOD£1|0 'IIIIIIIIHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
OF  PARKER FOUNTAIN  PENS
ON   DISPLAY   AT
WILLSON   STATIONERY   CO.   LTD.
830  West  Pender  Street Phone  Trinity  6291
ALSO
MITCHEL-FOLEY'S LTD.
032  West  Hastings  Street Phone  Seymour  1080
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SMART DANCE AT
PALOMAR FOR ONLY
THIRTY-FIVE CENTS
Dance and see a floor show at the
Palomar for only 35c each! The lowest price ever charged at the popular
downtown ballroom, and an exhibition of professional dance acts to
boot!
Sounds impossible, but the Provincial Recreations Department ls doing
Just this. The Pro-Rec. centres are
no newcomers when lt comes to planning dances, either. Their entertainments at Templeton Junior High, and
on the North Shore during the last
month were attended by hundreds of
happy young people.
Trevor Paige and his band will be
there In full force, with the pleasing
vocal renditions of Florence Brow,
Don Fraser, and Lance Harrison to
add to the fun.
The date for this big affair is
Thursday, December 29th, and dancing will be held from nine o'clock to
one.
Patrons Invited for the evening include Lieutenant-Governor and Mrs.
Eric W. Hamber, Dr. and Mrs. Oeorge
Weir, Mayor and Mrs. a. C. Miller,
and heads of Vancouver service
clubs.
Remember the date, December 29th,
at the Palomar.
BUCHANAN TARTAN FOR
RENT
For rent—one wool scarf in
the Buchanan tartan. Useful for
visits to the Dean. Bates on
request.       Apply      Publications
office.
CORRECTION
The S. C. M. annual Christmas
Party to take place Saturday, Dec.
17, at 8.30 p.m., will be held at Victory Hall, corner of Homer and Pender streets icoom 4) Instead of at
the place previously announced.
The price will be thirty-five cents.
Everyone ls welcome.
LAB. BOOK LOST
Ure and Harris Chemistry Lab.
book lost on the campus. Finder
please   return   to   Mr.   Home's   office.
TRINITY 3377
MACK A.
STARK
LIFE INSURANCE
YOUR BEST CHANCE TO DANCE . . .
at the
palomar ballroom
PROVINCIAL RECREATIONS CENTRES DANOE
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 29th, 9 to 1
Trevor Paige uud His Orchestra
Extra Entertainment 35c Person Friday, December 9, 1938
THE    UBYSSEY
Five
IN THIS WAY IS THE 'UBYSSEY' PUBLISHED
STORY  FROM ALL
ANCLES
REPORTERS DUTIES.
The   Rat   Reporter   Reviews:   The
worm has turned.. I have got over
my inferiority complex. I play the
yoyo. Brimming with courage I bring
this tale of a reporter's life of misery, uncertainty, ingratitude on the
staff of the 'Ubyssey'.
First I look on the counter. I see
the doomsday book. In It are stories and assignments for us reporters.
There is an interview with Co-ed
Susie. We brawl. We fight. We go
nuts before I decide that she ls the
object ot my affections. I start to
look for her.
She doesn't co-operate. She ain't
where she should be. To the caf.—
not there. I miss one lecture. Not ln
the library. I miss another lecture.
Back to the pub. "Has anyone seen
Susie?"
DO OR DIE.
Ye ed. says: "Oet that story. We
go to press at 1:30." No story, no
Susie, no lectures, no lunch, nothing.
The ed. looks mad. I beat it.
To the oaf. Aha, I see her. I sneak
up on her. I corral her—at last she's
mine. She's speeohless. No story.
To  the  pub. Three  minutes to go.
"Story,"    bellows    the    ed.    None,    I
blither.   Back   to   Susie.   She  still   Is
speechless.  Can't go  back  without  a
story. Bo here it ls.
MAN MOUNTAIN AND
OTHER OBSTACLES.
That Is not all the misery we suffer. The greatest struggle starts. To
find a typewriter. Of the four ln the
office: one ls out of order, the second
—well the yoyo champ Is scoring
touchdowns on lt; Chang Suey ls ensnared ln the keys on the third; and
on the last Mary Ann is walking
down QWERT YUIOP.
At last Suey got drowned in some
oaf. coffee. Now I start. I'm not
ambidextrous. I type with ONE
finger—I'm different. I matte one
copy.
Darn lt, how do I make capitals on
this fake-a-loo. I miss two more lectures and afternoon tea running
through this. At last—I'm through.
Now I try to dodge the editorial
staff. I'm ready for Essondale; but
the eds got me first. I stand like a
dog—dejected. Too much editorial
comment, story too long, too late. I
beat it. What a life. Oood-bye.
*      *      *
SENIOR  EDITORS  IN  THE  PUB.
"Where's that reporter?", "Hasn't
he got his story done yet?" , . . and
so on as the senior editors read copy,
correct spelling mistakes, and add
hieroglyphics for the Unotypers.
Stories that need to be re-wrltten
or   re-arranged   are   placed   in   the
care of the nearest assistant editor.
Heads are assigned to the associate
editors.
During the first hour of the day,
the editor turns Into an artist and
plans out the page layouts, and fills
in the ads. according to the advertising agent's dummies.
ALL ABOARD.
At 10.30 and 1.30 copy ready for the
printer ls placed Into the care of the
copy boy. Pictures for the paper are
sent to an engraver's with instructions for size, width, etc.
In their spare time the editors
slug and blackface stories and generally prepare them so that they
will appear attractive for the reading public.
All material to be printed ls read,
not only for mistakes ln style but
also for the Information it contains,
"This stuff is tripe," and our little
soft black pencil skids across the
copy.
"Put some more punch  into the
lead."    (Lead   pronounced   leed;   Is
the  flrst  paragraph  In   the  story).
"Paragraph  frequently,"  the senior
ed. begs the reporters.
When all copy has been sent down
to "press,"  the senior editor  follows.
But their work isn't nnlshed yet.
• *      *
SENIOR EDITORS  AT  PRESS.
In  a   little   office   downtown,    the
nuclei of the "Ubyssey" put the paper
to bed. As the proofreader brings up
the  galleys   (narrow  strips,  one  column width  of printed  material)   the
senior  editor  pastes  these  stories  in
position on the blank dummy sheets.
If  a  stop  press  or  other  sensational newa arrives at the last minute, space must be prepared for the
item.  This  may  mean  cutting  the
last   two   paragraphs   of   a   story.
Dummies  are  rushed down  to the
typesetters so that they oan aet up
(he pages in the forms.
THEN    WE    EAT    SUPPER,    and
sometimes   this   may   be   as   late   as
eight o'clock.  No  matter we can always eat. Back to press again.
Page proofs are pulled. Not bad,
not bad . . . murmurs the ed. fondly
.  .  .  and so another  Issue  Is put  to
bed.
• *      •
PROOFREADER ANOLE.
At this point enters a harassed-
looking Individual they call a proofreader. This appelatlon he receives
only when the staff is unable to And
a more picturesque word. His Job begins by wheedling the printer into
giving him two copies of each '"galley" or column of lead as lt comes
out of the linotype machine.
One copy he must read minutely,
checking mistakes of all kinds. This
ls a delicate Job requiring tact and
finesse—he has to revise the Editor's
spelling, dis ourage the Senior Ed.
from writing . tenccs without verbs,
and convince columnists that the
most fashionable of contemporary
writers are using punctuation this
year.
Besides being a diplomat the proofreader must be a pedestrian encyclopaedia. He must check facts, typing,
spelling, grammar—eliminating everything that shouldn't be there. These
mistakes he corrects In the margin
of the sheet with symbols Intelligible
only to the Unotyper.
Your proof-reader then takes his
second copy and cuts out the stories,
putting on them the number of the
galley from which they came. His
task ls done—the stories are now
ready  for  the Editor.
Now you know the culprit responsible for the occasional (?) error that
appears In your copy of the "Ubyssey". But don't be too hard on him—
It ls probable that he has already
been severely rebuked by the person
who made the error!
• •      *
LINOTYPERS AT WORK.
etaoln etaoln etaoln shrdlu. . . .
Well, bring on the "Ubyssey" copy.
I'm ready. (Pass the fortifier, Jackie.)
Well, I'm ready now, anyway.
"Sir Frederick Banting, noted Canadian research ,.."... what's he
have   to  speak   for?   And   who   wrote
this copy? Strlkeovers, cross-outs, Inserts, oh Lord! Musical Society,
Banting, Players' Club, Chang Suey
. . . ahhhh, here's something 1 Oood
old Chang.
QUID NUNC.
Oh-oh, sport copy. Dirtiest copy I
ever saw. WHO WROTE THIS
STUFF? CALL THE EDITOR, I
CAN'T READ IT. DIER!!!! Mary
Ann, again. Can't understand why
women have to have this kind of
stuff to make 'em buy clothes. My
wife buys 'em anyway. Oh, well, I'm
not getting paid for homely philosophy.
Boy, these kids need training!
They couldn't set up the alphabet
in nursery blocks. No, that's not
quite fair. But what a job. I wonder If they know what this does to
me?
HEAD-SETTINO
And .now, set up the heads. By
hand. too. most of 'em. WHAT DOES
THIS SAY? I can't read the writing.
This won't fit ... we give you 23
units and you take 3. Write another.
Jackie, what's the time? When do
you pull the proofs/ Ahhhhhhh,
that's fine. Ten minutes and we can
EAT. An hour, and thls'll all be over
until after New  Year's. Ahhhhhhhh.
* *      *
EDITORIAL  HIERARCHY.
Under constitutional law the duties
of the Editor-in-Chief shall be to
direct the editorial policy of the
Ubyssey and be responsible (to the
whole world, I suppose—limits not
specified) for the publications under
his department.
The first is easy. It means only
two days a week writing clever, or
violent, or subdued, but necessarily
super-human editorial comments
on campus affairs.
Secondly it means watching with
eagle eye the manner in which the
Senior editors treat the various stories. Encouraging them to headline
the most Important events and subdue freakish Ideas.
This chronicle must necessarily
leave out the five days a weo'i spent
discovering what goes on on the
campus and listening to everyone's
Ideas on the subject.
AD  INFINITUM.
The second ls easy too until you
discover that lt means all week long
of answering questions, checking
pages of Illegible copy for libelous or
untrue statements, discouraging senior editors from carrying out their
radical ideas, encouraging associate
editors to Include the sense of the
story ln Its headline, hurrying copy
into the hands of the messenger,
paying countless bills, thinking of
subjects for the photographer to take,
planning selling campaigns, teaching
new reporters the fundamentals of
Journalism, assigning suitable reporters to every event which might
happen on the campus, saying no,
tactfully, to people who request two
columns on their unimportant and
equally uninteresting  thoughts.
When all this ls done the paper
comes out and the editor has nothing
more to do except apologize to everyone on the campus for the staff's,
their own, the Unotypers, the proofreaders,  almost  anyone's  mistakes.
* •      •
TAPPING  THE  WIRES.
"Johnny, hold everything! There's
a wire story coming In from U.B.O.
Olve me two minutes, and I'll have lt
for you!"
And  the  "McOlll Dally" went to
press with a story of the fee-strike
controversy    at  U.B.C.    last  spring
before   even   the   "Ubyssey"   had  a
story written.
The    Canadian     University     Press
provided  wire coverage to University
newspapers   across   the  Dominion  on
that eventful    day,    as   it does  with
every   major  event  on  every  campus
ELMER'S MIND
IS  A  BLANK .  . .
Poor Elmer! If only this was a
viva voce. He wouldn't fail
then! His smart appearance
and well cut clothes would win
the battle for him before it was
begun. Elmer dresses well. He
has his suits custom tailored
by us for perfect style and fit.
(Too bad about his ears, but
WE can't help that.)
BOND
CLOTHESSHOP
157    WHl     HAiriNOi
OPP   PROVINCt   BLDG.
CANADIAN    RAILWAYS   ANNOUNCE
SPECIAL LOW FARES FOR
TEA CHERS and S TUDEN1S
Between All Stations in Canada
for the
yULETIDE HOLIDAY
SEASON
Single Fare and One'Quarter
for Round Trip.   First Olass or Ooach
OOINO NOV. 26 to JAN. 2. Return valid until January 31, except
In cases where schools are not re-opening until later, as shown on
certificate, tickets will be limited to re-opening date but not later
than  February 28.  1939.
CERTIFICATE. ENTITLING YOU TO THIS SPECIAL FARE MAY
BE   OBTAINED   FROM    YOUR   PRINCIPAL   OR   REGISTRAR.
ALSO: Greatly reduced fares for the General Public are available  for Christmas,  New  Year's, or the entire  holiday  season.
APPLY TO ANY RAILWAY TICKET AOENT
ln Canada.
INNER WORKINGS.
Suppose the Powerhouse blew up,
and wrecked part of the Mechanical
Engineering building. Before many
students had arrived on the scene, a
member of the C.U.P. staff would be
on the 'phone, calling the telegraph
operator.
Another member of the staff
would be getting details of damages,
injuries, and official opinions as to
the cause. Down at the telegraph
office would be a shoyt: "Clear
one!  Press!"
And Canadian students would be
reading about lt ln their own campus
papers the next day, through courtesy of the Canadian University
Press.
JOURNALISTIC   COOS.
Feature stories, telling of traditional rites, of unusual and comic
occurrences on the campus, which
are not immediately required for
printing, are sent out by Air Mall as
part of this student-organized and
operated service.
News stories, editorials, and feature
stories are carried by fast and efficient service across Canada, and editors of any member newspaper can
obtain necessary Information at a
moment's notice through its use.
* *      *
U.B.C.   MORGUE.
Did you know that the 'Varsity had
a morgue?
However   It's   not   the   kind   you're
thinking   of—not   a   store-house   for
victims of caf. coffee or degenerated
freshmen, but a collection of all the
cuts of the Ubyssey and Totem.
These outs go baok to those good
old  days   when    girls    were  really
young and Innocent and boys wore
boiled collars.
The U.B.C. morgue ls situated ln
the Book Exchange and to enter
therein one has to know the password, the Editor-in-Chief, and have
a key. Once you acquire these three
things you may view the remains.
STIFFS.
Shelves of "dead pans", "muck"
and Totem and advertising cuts He
in the shadows. "Dead pans" are the
host of forgotten people, pictures no
longer ln use.
"Muok" cuts are those enlightening cartoons of the "muck column"
era of the Ubyssey, and the Totem
cuts     comprise    all     the     pictures
printed  ever  since  our  Totem  was
in  rompers.
The   "dead   pans"   while   no   longer
ln  current  use,  are  of  some  Importance. For Instance, if a former U.B.C.
student becomes famous, or notorious
—his     picture     ls     resurrected     and
makes headline news.   .
• *      *
CIRCULATORY   SYSTEM.
Every Janitor knows what happens
to Ubysseys after noon-hour on
Tuesdays and Fridays .
Before they reach this final end
they pass through many pairs of
hands.
From printer to folder to office
and then to piles on radiator and
bannister tops is only half the
story.
Some go to professors, some to be
mailed   and  some   kept   for   handing
out to late comers.
ARTERIAL   SYSTEM.
Twice a week the mailed copies
travel to as far separated points as
Chicago and sunny Hawaii. Advertisers and archivists have their copies
that are Jealously marked and
guarded.
The city library has a twenty
minute time limit for readers of its
copy of the Ubyssey, while the
campus library dally brings out
parts of its three sets to wishful
reporters or students.
NON-STOP FLIGHT.
And now a plea, plug or prayer
from the circulation staff. Under no
circumstances, hardly, should you
attempt to get your Ubyssey on the
campus before lt Is deposited In  the
various halls and buildings.
An appeal to the gentleman who
carries the bundles will not get you
a paper. They Just won't let them go.
*      *      *
THE READER'S ANGLE.
With the paper ready to leave the
Pub., the fun really starts. Now,
there ls a man who sits ln there
brooding. The staff regard him with
ill-concealed awe, daring to approach
him only to throw him his hunks of
raw Freshman meat.
He  is  the  guy  who   delivers  the
papers.   He   has   a   date   to   suffer
every    Tuesday   and    Friday.   Well,
this  poor    chap    is    loaded  to  the
gunnels with Ubysseys, and shoved
out Into a  belligerent  world.
For he ls Immediately snowed under by a pack of growling, grabbing
wolves,  who strip  him of everything
but his patience.
But before you know lt, he has
hauled another hundred copies out
of a hollow tooth or somewhere, and
he ls running like a wounded stag
for the Science Building. The paper
ls now in circulation.
DIED IN INFANCY.
Let us follow the career  of a  few
of    the    copies.    First,    little    Oscar
Ubyssey.   Oscar   doesn't   get   to   first
base.  He  ls  torn  limb from  limb  in
the Arts Common Room Rush.
Then there Is little Elmer Ubyssey. Elmer seems to have what It
takes, for he Is what that demure
blonde takes Into a secluded corner.
What   ls   she   reading   over   there,
Elmer?   What?    Chang   Suey!    Well
that  Just shows you  what  a  pretty
face  can  hide.  She   probably  growls
when she eats asparagus.
BB.'s.
There's little Percy Ubyssey. That
Big Blocker ls holding him as If he
were an Intercepted forward pass.
What is the B.B. reading so greedily,
Percy? Mary Ann? Well, well.
Listen to that hulk of muscle lap
the stuff up. If he drops that ohln
much more, he'll look like the Jersey end of the Holland Tunnel.
Bet he knows where he can get the
sweetest slips,  for only $68.99, F.O.B.
Detroit, that have built in buscles. Or
ls he wearing a buscle?
FACULTY.
There goes little Freddie Ubyssey.
He ls an express order for a professor.
He  Is   perused   eagerly   behind   a
locked  door,    then    thrown   In  the
waste     basket     with     a     muttered
"Tripe!".
READING   AND   DIGESTION.
Now let's turn to a wholesale survey in the Caf. Sighting down a piece
of apple pie, we see a lot of people
eating and reading. Only lt Isn't as
quiet as that sounds.
Perhaps the most outstanding
thing to notice is that nearly everyone reads the paper thoroughly and
carefully.
There may be three possible reasons. The readers may think the
paper ls good, they may be Just
drooling some College Spirit, or they
may have nothing better to do.
It ls probably a combination of the
three, but you won't catch me quoting any ratios.
R.I.P.
Finally, we come to the obsequies,
the last resting places of the various
copies of the Ubyssey.
People seem loath to press them
to  their   breast,   and    carry  them
home for framing.
CLEAN-UP.
The blue boys of the broom and
bucket are the gents who see the last
of most of them. We ask one of them
what he thinks of the Ubyssey, and
our end of the conversation runs
something like this:
"Is that so? . . . Really? . . . ^Vell!
.  .  .  Pardon    me,    what    was  that
word?  That's what  I  thought.  .
And we go away refreshed and the
best Informed since  the  time Hank's
suspenders   gave  way  at   the  church
social.
897
ORANVILLE
(At Smythe)
ICE CREAM
After Theatre
Specials
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«s?
ftrffef
Are you boys having trouble
trying to decide Just what
to get the "One and Only"?
We knew you would (we've
had the same trouble ourselves), so we have Jotted
down a few very popular
suggestions to guide the
masculine mind along the
right channels. All you
need to do Is explain your
awful problem to our very
understanding and sympathetic clerks and you'll be
surprised at the help they
can give you. And another
point ... all our prices are
tuned to a Varsity Budget!
CHOCOLATES
To make her sweeter than
ever. All the famous brands
Including Moirs, Nellsons,
Page and Shaw and Cavalier. From 1.00 to 5.00.
HOSE
We have all her favorite
brands In either crepe or
chiffon; serviceable four
threads for the oampus
and sheer two threads for
formals. 1.00 to 1.80.
BOOKS
Whether she wants books
for after exam relexatlon
or whether she wanta to
do some "heavy" reading
we have books to please
her. From 1.S0 to 3.00.
PEN  SETS
If you want to give her
something she will always
cherish fondly give her a
pen set. We have Waterman's, Parker, Sheaffer and
Wahl sets from 3.00 to 18.00.
SLIPPERS
For her lounging hours. In
a host of styles from easy
slip-ons to cozy and comfortable slppers with soft,
fluffy fur trim. From 1.28
to 3.50.
Christmas comes but once
a year and every time . . .
it brings the thought of
what to get the B.F. You
know how rushed you girls
are after exams and how
little time you have to do
all your shopping ... so,
wanting to be very helpful,
we have put down a brief
list of the things most popular with college boys at
Christmas. If you've got a
few spare periods in the
morning drop In and pick
out his present. It won't
take long, really, for we
have a lot more people to
help you.
PIPES
For the pipe smoking "He
Man". We've got his favorite pipes including such
famous names as Henley,
Dunhill, BBB and Comoy
from 1.00 to 9.00.
CIGARETTES
Another thing he likes is a
couple of flat fifties of his
favorite brand. And we
have them. All of them
in bright Christmas boxes.
.50 to 8.00.
LIGHTERS
A lighter with his initials
on it is something he'll
treasure for years. We have
a whole list of reliable
lighters including Ronsons
and Dunhills.    1.00 to 6.80.
SCARFS
Maybe he would like a nice
scarf ... a real college
boy's scarf. All wool scarfs
In some of the smartest
designs and color combinations of the year. 1.00 to
3.95.
TIES
If you're tired of seeing
him wear the same old ties
here's your chance to give
him a very acceptable hint.
Very smart styles from
1.00  to  3.00.
SOCKS
We'll bet he has a secret
passion for loud socks.
He'll get a big; kick out of
socks chosen from THE
BAY'S grand range of all
wool   hose. .15   to   2.00.
l^frii*nifr'B«Q dTompmtQ MERRY XMAS AND   HAPPY EXAMINATIONS
A MERRY CHRISTMAS
AND
A HAPPY NEW YEAR
SPORTS  STAFF
EDITOR: Orme Dier.
ASSOCIATES: Myrne Nevlson.
Basil Robinson.
REPORTERS:   Lionel Salt.
Jim Harmer.
Ormle Hall.
Austin Frith.
Dave Morrow.
  Grantland Rloe.
Six
THE    UBYSSEY
Friday, December 2, 1938
Varsity Pucksters Shaded By Cubs
SPORT
VIEWPOINTS
—by Basil Robinson
SOCCER STUFF
Unheralded and unsung, the
fighting Varsity soccerites have
given proof already this year that
they are no longer the "football"
of the Vanoouver and District
League.
Although they are still some distance from the top of the league
ladder, Charlie Hltchens and his
boys have come through with two
outstanding performances within the
last month of competition.
So successful have their efforts
proved that, while the rugged South
Vanoouver team was ln flrst place
in the standings before playing a duo
of bruising battles wtth the campusmen, they are now no better than
tied for aecond place as a result of
losing three out of four vital points
to the Hitchensmen.
Laat Saturday the boys took a
beating from West Vancouver losing
8-1 in a game which featured the
lack of punch in the collegian forward line. Charlie Hltchens has been
unfortunate in having the promising
•young forward Rod McMillan out for
a month with two broken wrists. The
shattered membera are recovering
nicely thank you, and the gentleman in question will be back in
uniform at the beginning of the new
term. i
At the present time Doug Todd
-who performs at inside left and Jim
Robinson provide the drive for a
weak forward line. Up to now, the
half-backs and fullbacks have been
the strength of the team. John Affleck, who played Junior last year,
has shown up well this year as partner to Alan Croll at full-back, while
two freshman finds, Wallace and
Sasaki are making the boys stt up
along the soccer sidelines these days.
The energetic Manager Dick Clark
who has already started to Justify
his newly-acquired Big Block did
a  fine  stroke  of  business  ln  organ-
HARDWARE
4480 West 10th Ave.
Phone Elliot 1882
Christmas Is Just Around
The Corner
CHRISTMAS
DECORATIONS
See Us hefore you decorate
your tree
Guiguet, Frith Score As
Icemen Beaten Again
And then there was the on
or darn close to it, and also the
making Joe College n dull  buy,
Anyway, when the Thunderbirds1
of the ultra cooled aqua went out to
do or die for the blue and gold
against the strong New Westminster
Cubs last Tuesday night in the
Royal City ice palace, there was a
great huffing and puffing and the
Bruins blew 7 goals Into the Varsity
citadel.
The  best the student blade  artists oould do In retaliation was %
markers  soored   late  In  the  third
period    after   a   sustained   power
play   that   shackled   the   speeding
red-clad Cubs In their own end of
the Ice pond for mlnutea on end.
Only   their   second    encounter   of
the  season,  and  without  a  practice
in   over   three   weeks,   Jock   Walms-
ley's    puckmen    showed    deplorable
.lack   of  condition   and   remarkable
eblllty  to  pass the  puck  to the  opposition   forwards
It was not until late in the third
period when the league-leading CObs
had built up a substantial lead did
the student stlcksters get together
and all skate ln the same direction
at the same  time.
Maroel   Guiget,  one   of   the   two
flying    Frenchmen,    picked   off   a
pass from his hard skating  frere
Charlie and nicked the corner for
the   first   Varsity   counter.   Austin
Frith pushed one ln a tew minutes
later after a wild scramble in front
of  the   Royal  City   oage,   and  the
pressure   continued    on    the    Cub
citadel until the end of the game.
Jim Harmer on defence played hla
usual  outstanding  game,  and  spuik-
ed the Varsity attack with his speedy
breaking and sure passing.  Jim  also
played    the    whole    game    from    his
guard position and hia iron man tactics  kept  the   whole   team   fairly  cohesive.
c  ahout  practice  making  perfeot
one ahout all study and no play
especially on skates.
izing a Junior team to enter Q.V.-
A.A. competition. Last week the
boys dropped a 4-0 decision to the
Normal School but promise giant-
killing  things in  the near  future.
MURAL CHIEF
Maury Van Vliet smiles as he looks
at   his  Intramural   record
U.B.C. ROOST
SALISBURY LODGE ANNEX
"Where The Gang Meets"
LUNOH 25c
DINNER 35c
ItlHIIMHIHtlHHHHIHtlUHHIl IMtlHIII IIHHIMHIIIIIHHMIItllHtHMMlllllIHHHIHt HtlHtHHHH t'llHHHtllH <
HOW'S YOUR
GOLF GAME?
To be accurate you
must learn the Fundamentals of the Golf
Swing. The winter season is the time to iron
out your difficulties and
learn how to enjoy
Golf.
Hal Rhodes Golf School
1158 W. Pender Street        Seymour 5333
^IIMIIIMIIIIItllMIMIIIIIIII)lllltttllllM'IIIIMIIIIIII<lltllHIIMH*IIIMIIIMIIMIIIMIMMI(*IIMIIIIIIIIIIIMIMIllllMIIIIIIIIIIMMIIIIIIIM<
"Slxty-mlnute" Jim Harmer, who
takes time off from his rugby to play
hockey every couple of weeks for
Varsity is the smiling young Adonis
cuught here by the Ubyssey cameraman just before the Frenoh exam.
THEOLOG BATTLE
Another soccer classic of the current generation was staged last Friday    on    the    Upper    field    when    the
MKHIlY   CHRISTMAS!
strangely garbed  Union  College  men
and the demurely-clad Anglicans met
in mortal combat and both came out
on the same end of a 1-1 tie.
Very little definite news with regard   to   the   titanic   battle   could   be
HAPPY   NEW  YEAR!
ascertained   by   the   Ubyssey   beyond
the   fact  that  more   than  one  Anglican    received    uncomfortable    bodily
Injuries.
It may seem amazing, ln fact lt
undoubtedly does, but these last few
days Coach A. B. Carey's sometime
Thunderbirds have been undergoing
by far the stiffest training routines
they have experienced all year. It
also may seem amazing that such a
lot of physical energy should be released when exams are looming
darkly on the formerly-blissful horizon. This time, however, it Isn't
amazing, because there is a very
good reason for It.
INDIANS ARE COMING
If the above words have captured
your mental faculties to the extent
that you have actually tried to guess
the afore-mentloned reason, we'll
bring the period of suspense to a
close by marking your paper right
If you have put your ringer on the
coming invaalon of Stanford University, scheduled for Deo. 26 at the
Stadium. The southern smoothies
will also play against Vancouver and
Victoria Rep teams later In the
Yuletlde (yes, I know it's trite) season. ,
SYNONYM  WANTED
The Stadium game ls of course
the star attraction from a Varsity
viewpoint. Since all Miller Cup
games involving University teams,
are postponed for this week, and
the Thunderbirds will not have their
strength tested by the fighting Oas
we'll tell you that Oas House is an-
House dang (this ls the last time
other name for U.B.C.) the Boxing
Day game will go a long way to
prove whether the once-mighty collegians can once more aspire to the
title of Wonder Team. Incidentally
If they ever do we'll promise to rake
up a new name to replace that hackneyed   appendage.
And so, If you're interested in finding out what effect this unparalleled
activity has on the rugby boys, make
a point of arriving at the Stadium
on the day appointed.
Remember, the Stadium, Dec, 26,
Boxing Day, University of B.C. vs.
Stanford University.
INTRAMURAL ACTIVITIES
PROCEED TO THE VILLAGE
165  PARTICIPANTS
FIRST   TERM
By ORMY HALL
After a much heralded slow start,
Maury Van Vllets Intra-murals finally got functioning during the latei
stages of the pre-Xmas season and
so many games were run off that
Maury is groggy from adding up
statistics and compiling league standings.
THE MAGNA CARTA
Among the most unusual of
Maury's computations is a chart that
reveals the number of men that par-
tlclpatde in the Intra-murals and the
number of actual playing opportunities that the intra-murals afforded.
This type of chart ls popular ln the
American colleges where even the
smallest bit of athletic Information
is swallowed up by the very sport
conscious  undergraduates.
I couldn't make head nor tall of
it at Mist sight but Maury came to
my rescue and explained that: during the first part of the schedule 165
studenta participated in intra-murals
for a grand total of 327 playing
times.
In  other  words  165 different  Arts,
Exclusive Camera  PORTRAITS
At  Popular  Prices
Aggie and Sclencemen played twice
on one or another of the many volleyball games, the cross country race,
or the rope climb. (If you haven't
got it by this time, come around
same night and we'll promise to explain it fully Inside of 4 hours).
ITS ALL IN  FUN
"And that's nothing at all." continued Van Vliet. "After the exams
the spring season will start and over
twice as many opportunities will be
available."
"We plan on running 20 basketball games, 20 tug o' wars, a track
meet, a swimming gala, the Arts '20
and Arts '30 marathon runs, basketball foul shooting competitions, 20
Kngllsh rugby games as well as a
competition for the longest Canadian
Rugby throw. Altogether that will
provide opportunity for 510 men
tor a total of 1530 times."
Translated that means that there
will be openings for 510 students to
each play three times ln any one of
the  nine  Intra-mural  sports  listed.
JOIN THE GANG
Of course there will be many duplications and some of the undergrads
will play in all of the events and
greatly reduce hte amount of men
Involved in intra-mural sports, but
what Maury is driving at ls that il
there were a way of limiting any
person to three intra-mural participations and the students got really
behind the whole movement, the intra-murals would provide the opportunity for 510 men to all play in
three different events.
'"'--.    .' Za Atk\y. rY?V-"A    ji.^
*■■•■ s * MA7¥WA ■' A:#m^ , .
■; A -•''. '***iW::A^'^AiAA€":
A
DOUBLE
DELIGHT
finest roasted filbert*
Jersey Milk Chocolate
A TREAT-ANYTIME
ENJOY A NEILSON BAR-DAILY
C.371.1
GRASS HOCKEY
With the U.B.C. defence working
overtime to keep their scant lead of
one goal, the senior hockeyists repulsed a short-handed Britannia
Orad forward line to defeat the run-
ners-up in the league champolnship
last year by a close 1-0 score Saturday.
Taking the lead In the first five
minutes of play one a beautiful goal
by centre-forward, Anne Carter, the
blue and gold eleven proceeded to
repulse the raids of the rampaging
Orads for over an hour of play.
THIS WEEK IS DOLLAR
WEEK. BRING YOUR TOTEM
DOLLAR TOMORROW
MERRY   CHRISTMAS!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
NOTICE
Found: Public Library oopy of Pamela Vol. 1. Apply at Publications
Office.
The  Hotel   Vanoouver
presents
MART KENNY
at the  Spanish Orlll
Fraternity and Sorority
Printing and Engraving
Our Speoialty
DANCE    PROGRAMMES
INVITATIONS,   'AT   HOMES,'
LETTERHEADS   and
CHRISTMAS CARDS
GEHRKE'S
BRITISH    COLUMBIA    ELECTRIC
RAILWAY    COMPANY     LIMITED

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