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The Ubyssey Jan 26, 1937

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 Published Twice Weekly by the    Publications Board of theUniversity of British Columbia
Vol. XIV
VANCOUVER, B. C, TUESDAY, JANUARY 26, 1937
No. 26
lumi'tiiuuii'iiuiMi
Exchange
NeWS and
Views
By J. O. Msofarlane
In moments ot black mental void
. . . that is, when the void ls more
vacuous than usual, members of our
illustrious profession of knowledge-seeking pause momentuously
to ponder the ralaon d'etre of their
arduous existence. Manitobons,
having questioned the immortality
and immorality of Venus the Innocent, have now turned their soul-
shattering gaae upon themselves
. . . through the medium of a reprint trom the Alberta Gateway . . .
and pose the awful question aa to
v/hy university students chose the
ways of the academician.
Of the eight reasons supplied not
a syllable ls uttered concerning the
noble pursuit of truth. Recommendation of High School teachers and
administrators, proximity of the
university to the student's home
and the family influence, prestige
of the institution, economy, availability of desired courses, influence
of friends and of athletics aeem to
provide reason enough, according
to a survey made by a professor of
oducatlonal psychology at the University of Nebraska.
ATHLETES  LOW  MENTALLY
Of the seven students who gave
tho reason of "influence of athletics," five rank in the lowest psychological test and none in the highest,
thia august sage reports.
This is, of course, taken in an
American college, but I have, an
idea that a mythical international
boundary plays little part ln altering, materially, intelligence standards. That being so, I am led to
wonder whether the co-eds at Manitoba are unduly athletic.
At any rate, it would seem that,
if one worked the idea out mathematically. It would all come down
... or be boiled down ... to a
point where we would have to be
concerned with a gigantic struggle
between the search for knowledge
and the survival of the race, physically.
But, all tht-orlzing aside, Americans might take a hint and put a
curb on Its athletics. Alao—on this
side of the lino, as well as elsewhere, those lev worshippers of
knowledge who would make a bargain out of college and take two
for one might call it a design for
living.
COLLEGE  MARRIAGES?
Another American echo comes on
the question of marriage at college.
A University of California professor of psychology seems to be of
the opinion that one must be somewhat of an improvement (on what?)
or an angel to make a go of marriage while In college. Ho declares
that figuratively, American marriages are decided by the men
standing on one side of a wall and
pulling strings for young ladies on
the other side. "We marry what
we draw—and repent afterwards,"
he states. "This last applies especially to college students."
DIVORCE   EDUCATION
Like many of our sages this
gentleman points out a defect and
then fails to find a cause. From
what a Canadian can see of this the
great love theme of America I
ahould be inclined to say that
American youth suffers, in great
measure, from mass education on
the matter of freedom of marriage
and divorce by Hollywood. It
might be suggested that Inhabitants
of the celluloid capital make a distinction betwen passion and love
and give the former its due in a
more bohemlam fashion . . . and at
least preserve for the rest of the
Impressionable idolizing nation the
stability of marriage.
Some would have it that divorce
was too easy for our cousins to the
south. To those who think it appears to be a progressive form in
sociology which is more abused by
lack of intelligent use than lacking
within itself.
PHYSICS CLUB
There will be an open meeting of
the Physics Club on Wednesday,
January 27th. In Science 200, at
12.20 noon. Mr. H. M. Smith, Chief
Engineer of the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, will speak
about the new Radio Station CRCV,
which is now being erected on Lulu
Island.
G. L. POP  PRESENTS  GAME
HEADS AT INSTITUTE
NOTA  BENE
Will those heela who ao kindly
borrowed tho sslt ahakers from
the oafeterla laat Thuraday to
uae on their windshlslds on tho
way home that evening plssse
have the deeeney to ahow their
appreciation for the aaalatanee
gained in keeping loa In a running liquid ststs by returning
ssld shakers to thslr raapaotiva
plaees In tho oaf.
In short, bring baok tha NaC1
dlapanaora,  PRONTO.
DE. RIDDER
CONTINUES
Wednesday Lectures
Resumed This Week
The leotures en muslo, postponed from last Wednesdsy becauae ef the illnesa of Allard de
Ridder, will be raaumsd tomorrow
st 3.30 p.m. In ths Auditorium.
Mr. de Ridder will discuss Bseh
Csntstas snd Chorale, ths songs
of Hsydn, Moasrt snd Beethoven,'
snd the Italian Opsrstlo Arls.
Ths leoture will be Illuatrated
by the Muslesl Soelsty Quartette,
tha members of whieh *r* Key
Pattaraon (s o p r s n o), Msrjory
Thompson (oontrstlto), Douglsa
ford (tenor), snd William Cameron (bass). Mrs. ds Rlddsr snd
Msrgsrst Atkinson of ths Musioal Sooiety, will also assist.
A oordlsl Invitation la extended
by ths Musioal Society to all
membera of the Staff, the Student
Body, snd the genersl  public
Beth   Gillanders
Is     Emily
Green Props, Darling
Programmes and
Hazel Circulars
With the 'selection of Beth Gillanders as "Emily," the cast of the
"Brontes" is now complete. Under
the direction of Miss Dorothy Somerset and Adelie Thurber the players have started the six weeks of
gruelling practice for the Spring
production. The setting of the
"Brontes" is Early Victorian, so
sets and costumes are of that era.
In charge of Properties is Eleanor
Green, while Ellen Boving will head
the costume committee. Advertising Manager is Less Allen. Other
convenors are: Programmes, Dudley Darling; tickets, Jack Stark;
circulars, Hazel Merton; house
rr. inager, Pat Macrea.
French Comedies
Here Next Month
Two   one-act   comedies,   "Les
Doctresses" and "L'Anglalse te]
qu'on le parle," will be presented
by   L'Alliance  Francais   and   Le
Comite France-Canada,  Feb.  25
at noon in the University Auditorium   and   will   be   under  the
auspices of the French societies
of the campus.
"L'Anglalse tel  qu'on  le parle,"
by Tristan Bernard, is directed by
Madame Leon Dreyfus.  The plot ia
the   usual   confusion* of   a   young
English  girl  who  cannot  speak   a
word of French and a French youth
having the advantage of being able
to speak English as well as his own
native language. Then to top it all,
the girl's irate father cannot speak
French either. . The humorous possibilities are well portrayed by the
cast.
Both Monsieur Pierre Auge,
French consul for Western Canada,
and Madame Auge are taking part
in the dramas and will be supported by other members of the societies.
Big Game
Hunting Subject-
Of Lecture
The University became the
recipient of twelve mounted
heads of British Columbia
game when G. L. Pop presented the collection at a
meeting of the Vancouver
Institute Saturday evening, at
which he was the speaker.
In making the presentation Mr.
Pop told how he left his native
Budapest to travel all over the
world ln search of big game. He
spoke of his work In Africa and
Asia and recounted his flrst visit to
Canada. He flrst came to Vancouver 25 years ago apd was impressed by the big game abounding ln
the wilds of B. C. Shortly after the
war he returned to Canada.
CHANCELLOR'S EXPERIENCES
Dr. R. E. McKechnie, Chancellor
of the University, replied to Mr.
Pop, thanking him for the collection. He spoke of hi. own experiences in this province before the
game was driven back into the
wilder regions.
Ths twalve heads, each aooom-
psnled by s large color photo of
ths animal, Include mooae, elk,
mule deer, white and blaok toll
dssr, mountsln sheep, osrlboo,
grlssly, blsek snd brown bear,
mountsln gost snd mountsln osrlboo, sn dwere all ahot and mounted by Mr. Pop snd his brother,
R. J. Pop.
In his address to the Institute,
Mr. Pop spoke of the two schools
of thought regarding big game
hunters. "The world either thinks
us murderers or fine fellows," he
commented. "But the right kind
of game hunter can do a lot towards   game   preservation.
"Our young people should get Interested ln the big game of this
province, for there ls nothing better
for a man than a trip into the hills
with camera and gun. Nothing can
ever be learned from the garbage-
can  grizzlies  ln   tbe   parks."
LOTS OP GAME
"There ls Ave times as much
game in this province today than
there was one hundred years ago,"
the speaker told the audience.
"Civilisation, with its hunters, haB
done a great deal to get rid of the
predatory animals which were killing oft the young ot the species.
There is much more to do, and our
young men should get interested ln
the work."
Mr. Pop* advocated cougar hunts
for the obliteration of one  of the
great menaces to wild life.   He also
stated  that the killing off of older
males  can  be  of great good.
The spsaker sdvoosted making
sn Industry of big game hunting
in   the   provlnee.     There   are   16
species of big game In ths province   aa   oompsred  with   nine   In
Alberta and throe In other provinces.    He   aald   thst   Alaska   Is
drawing    thousands    of   tourists
who dealre the thrllla of hunting.
Following    his     talk,     Mr.     Pop
showed several reels of motion pictures of wild life.   He stressed that
none of the pictures were taken in
parks.    The  films  depicted  almost
all   the   animals   In   the   collection
presented   to   the   university,   and
the   close-up   shots   of   many   fine
specimens drew applause.
$35   For   Liquor
For  Every  $1
To   University
Address By Weir
Friday Night
"The University of British
Columbia is a university of
and for the people," stated
the Hon. G. M. Weir, in a
radio address over CKMO on
Friday evening.
Making a strong plea for the support of the university, Dr. Weir
pointed out that in 1833 Ontario,
with Ave times the population of
British Columbia, but with less per
capita wealth, granted nearly ten
times as much to the assistance of
Its universities as did British Columbia.
S400.000 A YEAR
"In comparison with expenditures
on British and American universities, our expenditures are comparatively small," said Dr. Weir. "Last
fall the legislators voted $400,000 as
a university grant for the present
fiscal year. The people of British
Columbia spend ln one year over
fourteen million dollars on wines
and liquors or $35 for each dollar
granted to the university."
"The total investment on buildings and equipment Is $4,135,000
and this Investment has deteriorated In recent years, in the Department of Botany alone the value of
equipment is $10,000 less than in
1929. Fees have been considerably
Increased, Further Increase would
tend to make, the U. B. C. a rich
man's   university." •
ONLY  280  GRADS
"Only 250 students graduate each
year from the various faculties of
U. B. C. at the spring and fall conventions," said Dr. Weir. "One per
cent of the population of the province ls 7,500. Since only 250 students graduate annually lt ls obvious
that lt will take more than 30 years
before one per cent of the population have graduated from the university. Are such graduation numbers excessive?"
DANCE DRAW RETURNS'FOR
FRESHMAN PARTY
Ure/   Honorary
President
Mathematics Club
Meets Friday
There will be a meeting of the
Mathematics Club on Friday evening, January 29th, at 8.IB, ln the
home of Dr. and Mrs. Nowlan, 1669
McOill Road- Miss Frances Wright
and Mr. Donald McPhail will give
papers on "Some Theorems in Projective Geometry" and "Mechanical
Integration."
STOP PRESS
Junior League To Put On
"FOLLIES*5  PEP   MEET
Tomorrow Noon
Providing Council Grants Permission
Throne Stronger Than
Its Occupant/' Says
Alberta U. Speaker
By CLEM L. KINO
UNIVERSITY OF ALBERTA, Edmonton, Jan. 19. (WI.
P.U.)—To   Mr.   Brian   Cook,
"the throne ls stronger than
Its   occupant,"   according  to
his lecture on Monday, Jan.
18.    Speaking   on   the   facta
concerning the British throne,
Mr. Cook traced the history
of   the   British   throne   from
the days when lt held absolute   power,   showing   Is   decline In authority until lt has
reached the present status.
He dlaeussed the rooent orlala
and   pointed  out that ths  objection of the Britiah people was not
thst the   Isdy wss s  commoner,
but  that  she  had  two  husbands
living.    Per the ordlnsry run of
person   this   prssents   *   ssrlous
consideration, but for a King ths
obstsels Is tnsurmountsble.   Suoh
a  union would hsvs "rocked the
very   Institutions   of  ths   British
monarchy."
DIGNITY OP  EDWARD
The radio broadcast of the ex-
King was to Mr. Cook "all important," and showed the great dignity
which characterized all the acts of
Edward VIII. The people of England were sad and distressed at the
abdication of the King, but the Bnglish monarchy was shown to be
more stable than ever, for it was
here that the link, reputedly "narrow and frail," was, to quote Mr.
Cook, "strengthened by this crisis
into a great thick cable."
In concluding, Mr. Brian Cook recalled the words of the Queen
Mother who pleaded that understanding and sympathy accompany
the thoughts of the people ao that
the matter be seen in its just light.
Queen Mary asked the people to
accept "his brother," unexpectedly
same love and honor as was accord-
called into the kingship, with the
ed to the great George V. Mr. Cook
hoped that 1987 would bring peace
and prosperity to Britain and the
Dominions under George VI.
Just one week from Thursday
the "foolish" Frosh and tholr "serious" seniors will converge at the
Commodore, to hold their Freshman frolic. This was decided at
the flrst meeting of Arts '40 held
on last Friday, to elect an Honorary
President and to discuss plans for
a class  party.
Dr. William Ure was elected as
Honorary President. Dr. Ure has
been promlent in campus activities
for some time and his election is
an excellent indication of the high
esteem in which he Is held by the
University.
The class fees of $1.00 must be
paid early to ensure the holding of
the party at the Commodore, which
is felt to be the most appropriate
place.
After much discussion, lt wbb decided that the dance would be a
complete draw for freshmen and
freshettes. However, upper classmen will be admitted for $2.00 on
the condition that they do not escort freshettes or that freshmen
escort upperclass women. One
freshman suggested aa a solution to
have a date bureau as they do in
many U. S. colleges, but didn't receive much support. '
Will Take Place
At Pep Meet
A real old-fashioned class
draw will be the feature of
Tuesday's Pep Meeting which
is to. advertise the Frosh
Frolic. Names will be drawn
right before your eyes on the
stage, to ensure no "cooking."
The Class draw of recent years
has degenerated to an entirely
managed mixing of couples who
have been unable to select partners.
Old-timers bave regretted the passing of the ancient system, whereby
members of the class really got to
know each other Instead of remaining in small groups. Frequently a
pool was formed among the girls,
the orte who had the worst luck
In the draw getting as much as $20.
Arts '40 has returned to the fold.
Upon receipt of class fees, the executive will place each freshman's
name ln one box, and each treshette's name ln another. On Tuesday noon, one name will be drawn
at a time from each receptacle, the
lady being presented with the
double ticket, which she will obtain later at the Quad box office.
Class members who wish to take
Bomeone outside the class will receive a double ticket upon payment
of double the class fees.
Prof. King Gordon To Be
S.C*M. Speaker Today
Speaks In Arts 100
At Noon Today
The subject of Prof. J. King
Gordon's flrst lecture, to be
held In Arts 100 at noon today,
will be "Behind the Headlines." Accompanied by E. A.
Corbett and Drummond Wren,
he appears on the campus
under the auspices of the
Students' C h r i stian Movement and the Fellowship for
a Christian Social Order. At
this meeting, Prof. Gordon's
companions, both outstanding Canadian educationists,
will also speak briefly.
At 2.80 today. Prof. Gordon will
hold a two-hour seminar in Auditorium 312, to which all students are
cordially invited, and on Friday
noon he will discuss the "Democratic Crisis" at another meeting in
Arts  100.
FILM SOCIETY
PICK'THUNDER
OVER MEXICO'
On Friday noon the Film Society
will show the contraversial "Thunder Over Mexico" to demonstrate
the feasibility of 18 mllimeter
equipment for university uae.
Sergei EMsensteln, the director ot
the film, came from Russia to Paramount Films. The unions wouldn't
let him produce in Hollywood, so
he went to Mexico, financed by Upton Sinclair, whose "EPIC" campaign in California recently aroused
so much international discussion.
Ktstenstein produced a graat film
dealing with the domination of the
peasants by the Roman Catholic
church. When the production was
finished and edited, it took 20 bours
to show. From this were made several complete Alms, of whioh "Thunder Over Mexico" is the chief.
Also on Friday's program will be
"Death Days," another unit from
Eisenateln's original, which, however, la a separate production. This
latter film was brought to Canada
by the Film Society in conjunction
with the University of Alberta.
Dunne and Rundle have loaned
a 16-millimetre projector for this
special showing. Developments are
under way for the Film Society to
obtain its own equipment within
the next few weeks.
Musical Society
Finds Going
Pretty Tough
"This business of producing an
opera ia no cinch." This in a rather
decided manner from Business Manager Harry Bigs by. "Take Robin
Hood tor instance," he went on,
"11600 all tied up in one production,
that's quite a bit, and we're out to
make a profit."
Rather tersely put, but exactly
what the Musical Sooiety is intending to do this year. With an en*
thuslastlc business executive and a
hard-working group of department
managers, all is set for a really successful production.
Ticket manager Bob McLellan,
reports that the tickets are now
ready for distribution and members
of the society are requested to call
on Bob and receive their $27 worth.
The exchange system ls being used,
and the tickets will be exchanged
for reserved seat tickets at a later
date. The box office as usual Is
at the J. W. Kelly Piano Co., on
Seymour Street near Dunsmulr.
Seats for the production will be
60c, 75c and $1.00. It has been
decided that Student night will be
on the flrst of the four nights of
production, on Wednesday, February, 17th.
The publl city department Is
working full time in an effort to
convince those in town that the
opera ls the amateur show of the
year. Following a series of first-
class Gilbert and Sullivan presentations, this ls not hy any means
a presumption and the committee
ls particularly impressed by this
year's opera ln rehearsal. The rollicking tunes and catchy dialogue,
popular for over 80 years, are not
a very difficult article to sell and
musical circles, lt is believed, are
eagerly anticipating the performance to be a favorite in the realm
of lighter musio .
Following an established custom
ln advertising, the society has prepared a large number of window
stickers which will be dlstrubuted
by membera ot the Society to University car-owners, and others.
These stickers will not be stuck
on car windows becau.o of opposition last year, but co-operation of
car-owners is requested when distribution takes places. They may
be obtained from any of the following members of the advertising
committee: Jean McLeod, Doug.
Ford, Jack Gray or Oeorge Robertson. Two
THE      UBYSSEY
Tuesday, January 26, 1937
THE   UBYSSEY
EDITOR IN CHIEF
ZOE BROWNE-CLAYTON
SENIOR EDITORS
TUESDAY-. Kemp Edmonds FRIDAY: Dorwin Baird
SPORTS EDITOR
Dick Elson
ASSOCIATE EDITORS ASSOCIATE SPORTS EDITORS
Ken Grant        Dorothy Cummings Frank Perry    Frank Turner
Peggy Higgs
ASSISTANT SPORTS EDITORS
Hugh Sherrif Ron Andrews Jack Mair
Student rate, $1.00 per year.
Subscription Rates (or Ubyssey:
Rate for non-students, $1.50 per year.
Advertising Office
Pacific Publishers, Limited, 311. Province Building, Victory Square, Vancouvc  B. C.
Telephone:  TRINITY 1W5
Advertising Staff:   Charles H. Munro, Howard D. Fletcher
All advertising handled exclusively by Pacific Publishers, Limited.
BOOZE OR BOOKS?
"Latt fall th* l*gi*latur* voted $400,000 as a university grant for th* present fiscal y*ar. Th* people
of British Columbia spend In one year over fourteen
million dollar* on wine* and liquore or $38 for eaoh
dollar granted to the university."
In these words, Hon. G. M. Weir, Provincial Secretary
and Minister of Education, defended the Institution of which
he was formally a staff member, during a radio address the
other evening. It was a timely topic, for too often do we
hear ignorant critics decry the university and Its work.
It ls a strange commentary on the people of thla province that they have seemingly little regard for their university. The fault can be divided equally between th Institution, and the pubUc, for lt Is quite possible that university
authorities are doing little to rase the esteem In which the
average citizen holds this university, although the extenson
work is helping some.
Certainly lt ls true that downtown actions of our freshmen,, popsters and Greeks do nothing to help the university.
We might also say, however, that those members of the
public who take the antics of fools seriously are sadly lacking in a sense of humor.
The outstanding fact of this entre discussion ls the
ratio between the cost of spirits and the cost of education.
It does no good to be whimsical on this matter, or to say
that If men will drink, well let them.
We cannot overlook the fact that people In B. C. are
willing to spend 35 tmes as much for breaking down their
minds and morals than they will spend to build them up.
CLA88 DRAWS
We are very glad to learn that the old campus customs
are reviving. More power to Arts '40 and their livewire
executive who intend to hold a class-wide, uncooked draw
for their party. This draw, wheh will serve better than anything else to unite the class, will take place in the auditorium
at a Pep meeting a week today.
During the last few years the ancient custom of draws
has vanished from the campus. A few years ago a class
executive attempted to hold one, but since only 45 women
and five men entered they were forced to give up the Idea.
We hope that the Freshmen are not such cowards that they
are afraid to enter a draw. After all, somebody must be
lucky.
We do not advocate draws for all class parties, but
they should certainly be compulsory for the Freshmen ln
order to make their dance an-all University affair.
A-Tftn®
MOVEES
e   o   o
By THK GROUCH
Being reviews of private showings,
pictures to appear shortly
In Vancouver
Tho sprightly Lilly Pons and the
jocose Jack Oakie fuse their highly
individual comic talents, nnd the
result is "That Girl from Paris,"
-wholly acceptable comedy distinguished by the work of its feminine
lead. The lovely .Lily is a delightful
comedienne, her charm is pervasive,
she sings as you may have heard
before, she has great charm, a fascinating stilted accent, teeth, she is
petite, debonaie, sspirituel, chic,
and, in fact, generally eupeptic.
The plot is slight but sufficient.
Lily ups and leaves her wealthy
Parisian nance at the altar, and for
a few momenta escapes into the
French countryside. Here in the
pictorial high spot of the film, she
wanders down a sunlit lane in full
Bridal costume, preceded by a dozen handsome geese. But alas, she
must meet and yield to the horrid
Mr. Gene Raymond, whence the
picture stows away to America, a
roadhouse engagement and fame.
Jack Oakie, the well-rounded
drummer of the four-piece band
whose portege Lily becomes, is
plumper, shinier, and more like a
candied apple than ever. For once
his playing is wholly refreshing,
and Mr. Oakie shines with such
genial Jole-de-vlvre that it la Impossible to resent him. Mischa
Auer, elongated and saddened bandit of "The Gay Desperado," is likewise amusing as the ex-Romanoff
pianist of the band. A further
comic note emanates from voluble
Herman Bing.
By way of musical diversion,
Miss Pons sings "Seal It With a
Kiss," an aria from the "Barber of
Seville,"   and    a    gorgeous   swing-
Fashion Notes
On Prom
Not Many Tickets
Left for Grill Party
About 80 oouples on ths oampus can stilt share sn opportunity—the  ehanee  te  bask  In  the
color, glow,  rhythm, swing, antl
congenial  Joy that will   pervsds
ths Spanish Orlll on ths night of
January SS.   Ths oeosslon lo ths
Junior Prom; the tlekot limit Is
188  oouples;   snd   mors than  90
double tickets have already been
sold.
For the occasion, Malcolm Brown
will wear knitted pants caught at
the waist with  petunias.    Rubber
boots and a mauve polo shirt will
complete his ensemble. Miss Beverley Cunningham will don black velvet  lounging  pyjamas,  her  accessories a triara of Brazilian orchids
and a triple necklace of small Siamese temple bells.
Mr. John Baird and Mr. Dave
Lewis, likewise of the '38 executive,
will assume printed .hints in pastel patterns over scarlet woolen
drawers. They will carry bouquets
of Ooldenrod and Brussels sprouts.
waits rendition of the "Blue Danube" that would positively flatten
Ray Noble. Musical score and direction is by Nat Shilkret and
Andre Kostelanetz.
•    *    *
Since the purpose of this column
was to furnish discriminating criticism of current pictures, the reviewer, who was genuinely anxious
to take a wallop at something, is
disappointed that his first working
material is "Girl From Paris." The
picture is really enjoyable, provided
one masters his normal dislike of
Gene Raymond and worn stories.
The music is lovely, and most people
who haven't already seen her will
be capitlvated by the French operatic star who plays comedy so well.
All in all, "That Giri From
Paris," will repay seeing on its own
merits.  Watch for it.
FOOLING aside.
It's time to stop now and admit that the ribbings that the Musical Society has received from this
column the past few weeks were
all in fun. Actually, I feel a bit of
tribute oozing out as I think of the
job that the boys and girls are attacking.
Staging an operetta at this university is something that I for one
wouldn't like to attempt. Your
trouble starts long before the show
when you And music copyrights,
Impossible and difficult parts, budget arguments, scenery cost, and a
hundred other obstacles In your
way. If the truth, were known, lt
would be dlscovere'd that the presentation of any show at all, let
alone a good one, is a task that is
jinxed from the start. Yet, and I
blush as I admit It, there are always  the hecklers.
•        •        *
ON the uselessness ot French 2.
It wasn't as if the course gave
one a good idea of French literature or even the beastly language.
But as far as this scribe can see
neither is offered by this university
in its sophomore course ln frog's
talk.
Frankly, I don't like the •ubject,
so this tirade ls slightly prejudiced.
At the same time, I have come to
the conclusion that a different attack on the matter would lighten
the hearts of many who are forced
to struggle through Gobaeck and
Fracaste year after year.
At the risk of tailing Fr. 2 (3
lira, week) again, let me be so
saucy as to offer a suggestion to
the solons ot the languages department. It ls reasonable to believe,
and Indeed a canvas of second-year
students would show conclusively,
that a course in French of today
and conversational French would
be infinitely more successful than
the one now offered. French ls a
living language, and a good many
of us who are now disgusted with
our work in it would not object to
an opportunity to study the French
of today. We would enjoy a course
that tested our wits ... a course
where a lot ot the lecture time was
spent in rapid repartee, and woo to
him who had no answer!
»        * *
DEBATES cost us too much.
Nobody would accuse me of
being anything but an enthusiastic
supporter of the Parliamentary
Forum, but it soems of late that
this organization, which does splendid work, has been absorbing too
much of the students' good money.
For the cash outlayed on debating,
too few people benefit.
It ls admitted that debating is
great training for university students, and that the give and take
repartee ot the Forum meetings is
helpful to future politicians and
business men. But an average Forum meeting attracts 50, a number
hardly In proportion to the budget
of the organisation. Our speakers
travel at student expense; the revenues from major debates being
almost nil. What Is more, we have
developed a habit of losing that is
discouraging to even the most
cheerful among us.
I might admit before the comment starts  that I've lost two de-
on his
way!
Thst p**rl*ss aboriginal philoio
ph*r, that sawed-off repository of
the Red Man's wisdom . . ,
Big Chief
WAHOO!
. . . with a grand supporting east,
including Th* Groat Gusto, monarch of th* madicina show; Ammonia, th* Hor** with "It"; Little
Minni* Ha-Cha-Cha . . . and many
others. Line up at the Sun's Circulation Department for this Big
Show!
VANCOUVER
SUN
Next Monday!
bates for the Forum in as many
years, but then the blame ls not
of  necessity  on   the   speakers.
Either the Forum should do something to make their work have
more popular appeal, or activities
should be curtailed to bring the expense within reason for the number of students participating. Some
move must be made before this useful group meets student opposition,
for even unlveralty students like to
feel that their money is not being
wasted.
AROUND THE! campus.
It's up to the frosh to fling
a good party next February 4, for
If they don't they'll be Jinxed all
their year ... as was '88 . . . In
the morning mall a letter from
Taimi Aho, wbo says sho enjoys
her flrst school . . . "the children
are what I always wanted" . . .
coming home In the street car the
other evening I was sitting In
front of two talkative varsity girls
. . . 1st girl: You know, I always
And that my boy friends like to be
the  whole show. . . . Snd girl:  I
SHOPPING
Have you heard Tom Marshall's description of his Saskatchewan trip?
"We got there and things didn't look so good, the campus was sort of
bare, and then we saw six girls, and things began to pick up; they took
us to dinner and there were fifty girls, so things were pretty good, and
then we went to a supper dance and there were twenty-four of the most
beautiful girls I have ever seen, and things were swell."
Thy say he looks sort of sentimental when he hears "Saskatchewan"
played.
Shoe prices are going up. So now is the time to buy your spring
shoes. You can get them at RAB SONS BUDGIT SHOP sale for half
price or less. Just pay a visit to 644 Oranvllle street and take a look
at the smart gabardines, suedes and kids on display in the Budget Shop.
This outstanding sale only takes place twice a year and you can be
sure you are getting real value for your money.   Many of the shoes from
. the downstairs store are being sold upstairs.   All the shoes are priced at
$4.75 and $5.75.   Don't miss this opportunity to buy Rae Sons famous
shoos at these extraordinary prices.
We hear that Pan Hellenic has something bright and new to discuss.
Nothing like keeping the girls busy.
"Let m« **rv* your car, and   your car will t*rva you."
"FRA.NK" FICKIC
U.B.C. 8ERVI0E 8TATI0N
24-Hour Imergency Service — Complsts Repair Facilities
SOUTH END OP McGILL ROAD PT. GREY 53
"Why thof far-away look In your eye?"
'I wa* thinking how good my neat Sweet Cop will tottel'
SWEET CAPORAL CIGARETTES
"Tha puree I form in which tobacco can ba tmohad."—jPanctrt
*
Educational Stationery Loose-Leaf Binders
FOUNTAIN PENS
Drawing Instruments Slide Rules
Social Printing and Engraving
The
CLARKE & STUART
Company Limited
STATIONERS PRINTERS ENGRAVERS
5S0 Seymour Street Phona Trinity 1341 Vancouver, S. C.
Commerce Club at
Alberta Hears What
Is Expected of Them
By CLBM L. KINO
UNIVBftSITY OP ALBBRTA,
Bdmonton, Jan. 1» (W.I.P.U.)—
Speaking to the Commerce Club
of the Unlveralty of Alberts, Mr.
C. A. Graham, m*n*g*r ot ths
Great Weat Garment Company,
told them of what the businsss
man axpsets of the Commerce
Graduate. Streaalng the fact thst
business wss not sn exaot eelenoe
please mine by finding their weak
spots and praising them up . . .
looks like work tor the Stude
Prince . . . and so ends a column
written after a gloomy hour listening to the new CJOR amateur program on Sunday nights . . . definitely awful.
suoh as medlolne and law, and
thst bsoauss of this esssntlal difference, grsduatea oould not ex-
pact to etep Into a buslnssa and
proesod to opsrats It efficiently,
nor wss this sxpsoted of them.
Mr. Graham spoke of the greater opportunities offered by business than by thsss other professions, and of the greater rawarda.
A bualnsss man requires thst a
Commsree graduate bs so trained
thst he oan bs rssdlly absorbed
Into tho business. The etudente
ware reoommendad to make an
Inveatlgatlon Into the efficiency of
their various ooursss, and thst If
they did not eome up to their
requlrementa, than the studanta
ahould sst about to hsvs thsm ad-
Justed. A good working knowledge of stsnography wss reoommendad as ono of the best moth-
ods of reaohlng the first step on
the road to euooess.
The VANCOUVER
SYMPHONY
SOCIETY
Announces
THE FIFTH CONCERT OF THE SEASON
ot the
STRAND   THEATRE
SUNDAY,   FEBRUARY   7th, at 3 P.M.
ALLARD d* RIDDER, Conductor
SOLOISTS:
JIAN ds RIMANOCZY, Violinist PRBDA SITTIR, Cellist
In the Double Concerto by Johannes Brahms.
Other Items on Programme:   Symphony No. 2, by Beethoven; Tintagsl, by
Arnold Box; Dances from Prince Igor, by Borodino
Tickets on Sale at
M. A. KILLY MUSIC HOUSE 659 ORANVILLE STREET
DANCING
Every Wednesday and Saturday
ALMA ACADEMY
*       Stan Patton's Orchostra       *
MUSIC EXCLUSIVELY
The most complete stock of Educational Music in Canada.
WESTERN MUSIC COMPANY LIMITED
mm mt
For Your Noxt Class Party, Dane*, or Social Occasion . . .
See ANDERSON for the Printing
Phon* Seymour 3400 455 Hamilton Str**t Tuesday, January 26,  1937
THE      UBYSSEY
Three
NOTICE!
THE VARSITY
TEA    ROOMS
at 4s605 WEST TENTH AVENUE
Point Gray, will ba doted on Tuea-
day and Wednesday, January 26th
and 27th, and will be
RE-OPENED
Under  New Management
JANUARY 28th,
by MRS. S. V. RIGBEY
Specialties  will   be  genuine  home-
cooked meals at the lowest possible
prices, an outstanding feature being
the 5-cent items on the menu.
Afternoon Teat will alto rscslvs
special attention.
<? MUCK-A-MUCK ?>
We've been having surreal fun
on this page lately.
Prof. Garglem X. MacHootch
JACK AND JILL
As They Would Do It
TRUE STORY:
The Night I
Can't Forget
I was just seventeen when I met
John Brandon. Reared on a little
farm I knew little of life,.and the
pitfalls that lie in wait for innocence.
One sunny June afternoon I was
walking; down the winding path to
the creek. Rounding a corner, I
humped squarely into a dark, handsome stranger. Strangers were a
rarity in Burgsvllle, and my coui-
oslty was aroused. In spite of my
confusion, I managed to steal a
glance at his clean-cut, smiling
face.
Arriving at the creek, I doffed my
clothing, and soon was swimming in
the cool water. After some time I
noticed that it was time for me to
go home. I looked up, and you can
imagine my consternation when I
saw John  standing there.
"Oh!" I called. "Please go away.
I want to come out now."
He politely turned his back, and
I dashed for the spot where I had
left my clothes. But when I turned
I saw that he was again looking at
me with a rapt look in his eyes.
"Ohl You said you wouldn't
look."
"Silly, I don't mean any harm."
The crisp curly hair falling over
his brow and his winning smile
drove all thought of my mother's
gentle training from my mind. But
it was late. I arranged with Jack
to meet me later at the foot of the
hill where we went to get the water.
As I rushed home, I was walking
on air. •
There was a full moon hat night,
and my feet seemed to have wings
as I hurried to the spot where Jack
awaited me. My heart was on Are
as he drew me to him for our flrst
kiss. .. .
When we awoke (I told you we
lived in New England. This is to
get local color.) It was dawn. Realising finally what my madness
had done, I rose, and was about to
leave.
I felt a hand clutching my arm.
Jock was awake, too. He tried to
take me in his arms, but I resisted
him. Finally, with a wrench, I
freed myself from his grasp. But
this had overbalanced him, and he
tumbled down the steep side of the
hill.
"Jack!" I called, and ran to the
edge of the hill. I, too, slipped and
fell. I dimly felt my head strike
something hard.   (Like a rock.)
When I regained consciousness,
I found that Jack had fractured his
skull in that mad fall.
Day after day, I went about mechanically performing my tasks. At
night I wept scalding tears Into my*
pillow. Mother said nothing. Jack
was in the hospital. Mother still
said nothing.
Then one day there was a knock
at the door.   It was Jack!
(Will Jill regain her self-respect?
Can she atone for her double crime?
What will Mamma say ? Read next
month's True Story for another
thrilling installment of this thrilling TRUE experience!)
ESQUIRE:
The Slug Comes
Home
The rain dewed the dimllt sidewalk. Overhead the train rumbled
on echoing the agony rumbling
rumbling through his inside. Another evening to be passed with
Jill. Jill of the fair eyes, between
the shade of copper rust and turquoise. It would be Cellini's restaurant off Fifth Street again.
Looking at the swimming patterns
of the red-check tablecloth he same
quesion would come up again. She
would ask him what he was thinking about. Damn it! He couldn't
tell her. That same pain inside of
him rumbling an dthen jerking his
very vitals with its sudden thrusts
of pain. He' loved her. But what
the bloody hell! couldn't she guess
that he wasn't paying attention to
her naive anecdotes.
A dim figure split the lamp-
shadow.
"Hello, Jack. Did I keep you
long?"
Hello, Jill. No that's O.K. Beastly night, isn't it?" Beastly or otherwise, they two had lived for these
evenings, lived through the hurrying hours of ghastly reality for
these evenings of paradise together.
Suddenly all the lights of New
York went out. The sidewalk rushed at him and caressed hmi into
oblivion.
A car screeched to a standstill.
"Jack! Jack! Listen, listen,
Jack!"
A burly bull pulled her carefully
from the prostrate figure lying still
on the wet pavement. She only remembered the sirens screaming
closr. The hospital corridor dimly
outlined the trim figures of hurrying nurses. She stretched out her
hand to stop the passing nurse.
"No, he's still unconscious."
Tomorrow she'd miss her work.
Jacobl would fire her. What the
heck! Jack's in there suffering. The
doctor awoke her from her tired
sleep on the hard hospital bench.
"You'd better go home and rest.
Hell pull through. It was acute
appendicitis."
She felt herself falling. Down a
steep inoline. Down, down. On the
crown of the hill stood the home of
her dreams, sliding farther and
farther and farther away. . . ,
High Senechal of Muck
TO ALL. THOSE WHOM THESE PRESENTS COME,
GREETING!
Lately, in the course of human events, it has become
necessary for one people to declare their independence.
Anyway, three of the downtrodden ones who formerly
struggled with the editors for space for Muck, finally threw
off the yoke which has filled page three with news. (N.B.—
This is NOT a pun on "Joke.")
Making a concerted surprise onslaught, they demanded
page three. And were we surprised when they gave it to us!
Then we remembered something.   The page must be
filled. Well, we done it. And from now on, the cries of battle
shall continue on the Pub.  Page three shall no longer be an
extension of the great open spaces.   We have spoke.
The Three Must-get-their-beers.
History of
Mediaeval
Europe.. *
Synopsis of preceding ohsp-
tsrs: If you think ws'rs going to
go through all thst sgsln, you're
eraay.
CHAPTER   II
We have now arrived at about
800 A.D. It is late evening and the
long purple shadows are stealing
. . . Oh, what the hell!
About this time we And a very
interesting little sidelight on the
character of Alfred the Great. Say,
if you're going to start asking me
for exact dates now, we'll be here
all night. I said about 800. And
when I say about 800 I mean between  600  and  1000.
Anyway, Alfred did NOT burn
those cakes. It is a false lie, issued in the teeth of the facts, which
were that Alfred ATB3 the cakes.
That's not very funny, but I'm
writing this, not you.
Alfred had some trouble with the
Danes, and if you will study the
character of Hamlet for a while,
you will see that there are darn few
people who wouuldn't have had
trouble with the Danes.
(Question: Was Hamlet a Great
Dane?)
(Turn to page 67 for answer. It
ls "No," anyway.)
Finally he caught them all and
put them ln the Danelaw, and very
Inconvenient it was, too, as they
could only go out Thursday's and
week-ends, and then they had to
be ln before ten. This system is
still continued in the public schools,
although some people advocate
shifting lt  to the  public houses.
Eventually Alfred died.
Now let us go to the continent.
Hold  on  tight,  kiddies!
Well, here we are, aren't we,
damn you?
France was ln a bad way. The
barons were so occupied with pillage and sackage and package and
buttage, and swillage, that they
paid almost no attention to Joie de
vivre, and pourbolre. Besides this,
they neglected their wives. So the
troubadours got their start. This
culminated ln Blng Crosby and
Richard Crooks. (See Note 4, page
124, in some other good book.)
All this was very depressing, especially as the end ot tho world was
coming by the year one thousand.
This was figured out by pyramid-
ology, and was prophesied by the
Anglo-Saxon-Israelites, a sect who
were later murdered along with
two other bunches ot heretics, the
Cathartics and the Walled-in-alns.
I totem to sign their waivers.
Cubism
Hits
Poetry
hard lines
trees cold in the snow
ice-bound
her face . . .
tears mill down, those deepened
T trenches
the snow melting
like brown-sugared roads
and the irrigation of the
Sahara
wring dry that
dry heart, dry as the "Garden of
Allah."
Those eyes
presplre streams
wring dry that heart, Sahara will
never bloom again.
Angular she lies
blotting the cigaret-scared surface
of the desk
in cubes and hard rectangular lines.
Card-faced she peers beneath Mr-
cine brows
and jets a column
angular in sympathy
of smoke.
Conic ankles stub the ash-strewn
floor.
Pity sinks deep
in trapezoidic roots
'CRITICAL MOMENTS
WHIN YOU
ARI THI
CLOSING
SPIAKiR
ON YOUR
D« BATING
TIAM..
What People
Are Saying
Dave Kato: "No matter how you
look at lt, half the people getting
married these days are women."
Dr. Morsh; "People hearing Blng
Crosby should squirm, if they are
men . . ."
Dr. Morsh (again): "Esquire's
'Gland Book for the Questing
Male' ls more fun than science."
Jones: "Come on, let's everybody
ante."
Grant: "Beverldge, say something
intelligent."
Dr. Topping: "You can get people
so mad that even a worm like Mr.
Bennett will turn."
Dr. Sedgewick: "Pooh!"
Macfarlane: "I'm feeling lecherous today."
-AND THERE'S A FROG  IN YOUR.
THROAT-YOUR SHOE HURTS-AND
YOU CAN'T MAKE HEAD OR TAIL
OF YOUR NOTES - DONT WORRY-
Your Photographer
'   "The Latest in Portraiture"
3708 West Tenth Avenue Phone: Bjyview 1398
British Consols
NAMES MAKE NEWS!
Twice a week representative advertisers place
their messages before you in your own newspaper. Every advertiser in the UBYSSEY has a
name that is important to you. They are names:
which assure us—which we can trust—which
suggest integrity. They are most earnest in
their desire to provide you with products and
services of the best possible quality. The
The UBYSSEY is thai means of your keeping up
with college activities—a way of knowing where
to buy, what to buy, how much to spend. A
reminder of the best places to shop, the easiest
way to save.
_^-fltifis_*^&fiS__E<i!
START
SAVING
TO-DAY
-patronize UBYSSEY advertisers Hockey Team To Meet Washington In Forum, Friday
THE UBYSSEY
SPORTS
SPORTS
Four
THE      UBYSSEY
Tuesday, January 26, 1937
U. B. C.   TRACK
EN   BEAT   VICTORIA   43-41
Barcelona
$ Beauty Salon A
8     3779 w o 11       "--A
« 10th Avenue       I \
Alma Service Station
24-HOUR GARAGE SERVICE
Broadway at Alma
Bayviaw 74
Just about all you could aik for . . ..
Aristocratic Hamburgers
Limited
Klngsway at Praiar   —   Tenth at Alma
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Fairmont IM Bayviaw
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Dr. C. M. Whitworth
Dentist
Telephone Elliot 17M
Hours: 9 to 6
Saturday: 9 to 1
Cor.  10th and Sasamat St.
GET MY CLOTHES and
FURNISHINGS
CHAS. CLAMAN
315 WEST HASTINGS
N.y. Hot-Shots
Fairly Sizzle
In Fri. Show
Among Other Things,
Defeat Collegiate
Cagers, 43-25
Those dark olouda ot basketball,
the Harlem "hotshots,"* melted a
few feet of snow off the root ot
Bob Brown's V.A.C. gym when they
dished out a mixture of sizzling
passes and horseplay to a dased but
hard-working Varsity quintet before
a hilarious mob Friday night.
The Harlemltes turned on the
heat ln the first quarter, zipping
through a befuddled Varaity second
string to pile up a 20-2 count, but
with the return of the regulars in
the next period the Thunderbirds
managed to whittle the deficit
down to 29-12 at the breather.
HARLEM HOOPS IT UP
In  the  seoond  frsme  the  suntanned    aoutherners    want    Into
their aong snd danoe, starting the
entertainment by placing the ball
on   the   floor   snd   going   Into   a
huddle while the etudents looked
on In wonder.   No sooner had the
howling    subsldsd    when    Russn
osussd  a  near riot  by  dribbling
through a hard-oheoklng  Harlsm
squsd  snd  soorlng  a  bsskst  for
the studsnts — to be ehssad off
the floor by hla aultably enraged
team matss.
The  crazy  cagers next staged  a
baseball     act    with     "skyscraper"
Jackson   pitching   and   Frazier   on
the receiving end, and followed this
up  with  a  football  formation  that
knocked the fans for another loop.
Although slightly hampered by the
over-zealous students, they put over
their act In great style to the delight of the wild-eyed spectators.
Incidentally, the eoore was 43-
20.
Ysssuhl
Harlem — Jackson 2, Strong 11,
Frazier 6, Ford 10, Rub an 12, Watts
2.    Total—48.
Varsity — Bardsley 3, Matthison
7, Wllloughby 2, Pringle 4, Henderson 2, Mitchell 2, Davis, Swan, Turner,  Hudson  2.     Total—26.
Lucas Is High Scorer;
Pendray First In 880
Despite the loss of their star performer, Howie McPhee,
through old demon 'flu, the Varsity Tracksters had enough
of the "Rha Rah" spirit to overcome that deficit and go on
to win their fourth annual meetiwth Victoria Y.M.C.A. last
Friday. With "Luke" Lucas leading the way with 13 pointB,
the Thunderbirds ran out vctors by a 43-41 count.
Other flrat baaldea  Luke, who
oapturad   tho   46-yard   dash   snd
ths high Jump, ware VV. Pendray,
who  ran  a  brilliant raes to win
by 30 ysrds In ths 880;  Jim  Me-
Cammor.   who   heaved* the   Shot-
put 40 foot 10 Inchae, and J. Harvey, who  ran swsy with ths 46-
yard   hurdlaa.    Addlaon,   Bentley
and Thomaon garnered firata for
the Vlotorlana, who also took tha
relays.
The "Y" men won the shuttle relay, the flrst event of the day, but
their   lead   was   short-lived   as   the
students  captured  all  three  places
ln  the  half  mile,  won  the  46-yard
dash and garnered a flrst and second in the Shotput.   Victoria began
to  threaten  again  when  they won
the quarter mile, swept through the
220-yard dash and climaxed this by
winning the mile event.    Lucas and
apRoberts   came    through   to   win
flrst and Becond places in the high
jump to clinch the proceedings tor
the  Varsltyites.
VIC WINS MILE  RELAY
The one-mile relay was the
highlight of the evening whan the
Viotorla team made up of Bentley, Thomaon, Gaunt and Addison
defeated the Thunderblrd qusrtet
of Williams, Brown, Luess snd
Wilson. Williams snd Bsntley
fought on even terma for the first
qusrter; Lyle Wllaon gave the
Students a slight lesd st the hslf
by besting BUI Thomson. Osunt
esme through to psss J. Brown
In the third qusrter, from whore
Addison by dint of some shady
running outdlatanoed Luoaa to
the  tape   In the   laat heat.
In the mile event "Plodding"
Paddy Colthurst held the lead tor
the few laps, only to have Hugh
Thomson close in the laat few laps
with a fine burst of speed to beat
him to the tape by a comfortable
margin.
GREAT WIN  IN 880
The   best   Individual   effort   of
the   day   outslds   of   Luess'   fins
point-making wss the manner In
whieh Pendrsy won the hslf mile.
In   hla  first  year of  competition
for   his   Alms   Mstsr,   hs   rsn   a
sparkling race to turn  In  sn upset viotory In the 880.
The win was the  third  for Varsity in the four years of the competition,  there  only  setback  being
last year when they were downed
by a 49-35 score.—SHIRRBFF.
Alberta Pubsters
Score Hockey Win
By CLEM L. KING
UNIVERSITY OF ALBERTA,
Edmonton, Jan. 19 (W.I.P.U.)—
Playing against the women's hockey team on Thursday, January 14,
the Gateway newshounds scored a
5-4 victory. Bob Lee, sports editor
of the Gateway, led the men into
the fray and aet the terrific pace
throughout the game. Because of
the shortage of reporters, the news,
hounds had one of the women guard
the net, but the ladies secured Jack
Talbot to help them out. With the
great crowd of spectators cheering
the players on, both teams sped
over the Ice, showing their gross
ignorance of the game—this applies
to the male gender only. Stopping
to flirt with the opposition at times,
the men secured several minor injuries, but managed to last out the
game.
Gloating over their victory, the
staff of the Gateway eagerly accepted the challenge of the women's
basketball team for a gamo to be
played this week.
Corsages   *>*>*>   75c and $1-°°
We are just as near as your Free delivery within City
phone. limits.
Ritchie Bros.  84o Gramme s«eet Sey. 2405
*—
"Cinders In
Your Eye"
By ART JONES
Kvar. Ap Roberts of the huge appetite, played peek-a-boo with a
stalwart bluecoat coming home on
the boat, waited until said cop had
been lulled to sleep, then stole his
cap.
The boya almost hsd 'Appy In
tears  whsn   thsy   broke   the   aad
nawa that his girl friend had gone
to tho Beta formal.   'Twaa on the
aame  night aa tha meet.
Pendray   running   his   flrst   year
lu Varsity colors or auy colours for
that matter, walked away from his
field in the 880 to win by 30 yards.
'Tls rumored because his  girl was
sitting ln the stunds.
Alex.   "Robert   Taylor"   Lucaa,
after drinking a bottle of oough
madiolna  and  fsetlng  kinds  slek
after the 46-yard dash, wss comforted    by   a   awelagant   blonde.
Now Luke wsnts to go bsck snd
hsve a nervoua relapaa or aumpln.
Manager Joe Rita says next year
he will take the Canadian Football
backfleld  to  run  the  relays.     Says
he   was   reminded   of   an   end-run
every  time   the   boys   went  into  a
turn.
CO-ED
SPORTS
By  MYRNE  NEVISON
"Why can't the intermediate
girls' basketball team win at least
once a year?" "What's the matter?" "Why can't they score more
than three points a game?" These
questions are heard on every side
so the intermediates have endeavored to supply the right answers.
Top-scorer Adrienne Collins says
"You wouldn't win either if you
didn't have a baaketball player on
the team," while sister Rosemary
added knowingly, "We lack that
certain   something."
Another comment, "We run
around a lot, but never in the right
places."
Manager    Peggy    Jonea    remarked    tereely,    "Not    enough
players," but a aenlor player enlightened     the     situation     with
"they Juat  have  P.P.   (flat  feat).
Alao, what kind of a defenae have
they—If any?"
Coach Ian MacLeod:  "They need
practice."    But it's not every team
whose   coach   calls   them   the   All-
Stars,    the   Wonder   Team  — you
know, wonder when they'll win.
There     you     are;     take     your
choice.    But one thing la certain,
that    their    unusual    dlaplsy    of
ahota, passaa and what hsvs you
are   close   rivals   of  the   Harlem
Olobe Trotters In their ability to
panlo tha audienoe and give them
a good laugh.
WILL SOCCERITES
MEET VICTORIA
The proposed game with Victoria
All-stars is as yet Just a dream as
far as the Varsity Senior Soccermen are concerned .with what bad
weather and all. If all goes well,
however, it will become a reality
this week-end, and they will follow
the birds  in  earnest.
After all their gym workouts, the
Thunderbirds ought to be in "skoo-
kum" shape. Rumor has it that
some of the gang are so fed up that
they are planning a snow-practice,
come what may, and when a team
is as energetic as that, something
ls sure to pop when they hit the
turf. Victoria has a bad habit of
pulling huge halfbacks out of the
hat, and Varsity has been propping
seriously for such a chance, with
the result that they will have a
good chance of running around
their foemen.
JUMPER
Here is ap Roberts, Varsity's
number one track and football
star, who again proved his rating
by placing second in the high
jump at Victoria, and thereby
cinching   the  meet  for Varsity.
BADMINTON LESSONS
Miss Moore will give lessons in
badminton to any beginners who
are desirous of learning the game,
Tuesday afternoon, at 1.30 aud
Thursday morning at 9.
Wa Catar for Social functions
THE GABLES INN
HOME-COOKED MEALS TEAS
UNIVERSITY  BOULEVARD
Bail-. P.O.
Huskies Team Weaker
Varsity Expects   Win
Varsity's colorful ice hockey aggregation will renew the annual
Inter-colleglate battle of the blades
when they clash with the Huskies
ot Washington this Friday at 8 p.m.
in the Forum—the game to be the
feature of an Interesting two-game
schedule.
HUSKIES WEAKENED
Determined to vindicate them-
aalvea after a mild defeat In ths
ssrlaa of '30, tho Thunderblrda go
Into the fray with s strsngthsned
aquad from that of last yssr, and
with ths sssursnoe thst ths Wash-
Ingtonlana hsvs lost thrss of lost
yssr's ragulara, the local lads feel
that thsy ars In a position to eop
the ssrlaa. It Is rumpred that
three of the Husklss have acquired bertha on Stanford lee
aquads, while another notable snd
rsgrsttable loss to ths Washington boys Is thst of forwardmsn
Msvor who wss killed In an auto
seeldant Juat after the final msteh
Isst year. Msvor wss eonsldsred
to be the beat man on tha Huaky
team laat year, snd his absenee
will considerably weaken tha
Americana' chances during the
eomlng ssrlss.
STRONG SQUAD
On the other hand, the Thunderbirds are swooping around with the
strongest, most competent stick
and blade congregation to be assembled together in many a year.
The nucleus of the hockey cell is
the flrst string forward line of Usher,, Taylor and Trussell—the middle
man in the list being Clarence Taylor, the only man ever to earn a
Big Block from playing hockey. And
surrounding this nucleus is some
of the most potent protoplasm to
ever complete a Varsity hockey
cell, some of its plastics being
Stevenson, Price, Lambert, M. Gul-
get, C. Guiget, Perry and Shlrreff.
RUGGERS STILL  IN  A
DILEMNA
Still glanoing at the snowbound rugby enthuaiaata, wa find
the Millar and Tladall oups gsth-
arlng duat on the ahelf. Bad
weather has put every outdoor
aohadule bye-bye for ao long that
ths boys' msln Idss of ruggsr Is
thst It hss something to do with
s ehsstsrflald. Sklppsr Csrey
has suggsstsd thst thsy forgot
pink toss and gst bsok to s little
rehearaal work.
If Mr. Shearman and his all-
weather staff oan get old Winter
to take a little wslk, the Tlsdsll
Cup gsme will eome off a week
this Ssturdsy, and -ths Millar
Cup gams two wssks from than.
This mssns st Issst thrse weeke
until we get a slsp at North
Shore to ehow them one of the
raaaona for s higher eduoatlon.
—what thoae reasons ar* It re-
mains to the Wonder Tosm to
elucidate.
Sey.   9151
STAR CABS *
Managar: Bob Strain, '33
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