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The Ubyssey Dec 4, 1953

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 THE UBYSSEY
VOLUME XXXVI
VANCOUVER, B.C., FRIDAY, DECEMBER 4, 1953
Price 5t:    No.
Applied Sciencemen Collect $550
—-Cartoon by Mack
Student; Leaves Dorms
After Violating Rules
A UBC coed recently expelled from Mary Bollert HalJ,
is now boarding at the home of a university professor, informed sources disclosed Thursday.
It is believed the girl had abused normal late-key privileges
and had been warned that access to a key would be temporarily
restricted.
Dean of Women, Miss H. Dorothy Mawdsley, was unavailable
ior comrtiei&dbi^.**** -office^ ad-
viced unofficially that there
were no unusual circumstances
involved.
Common procedure which enables girls to stay outside the
residences after 11 p.m. if they
do not expect to be back before
closing, is to apply to the residence don for a key. This is
granted on the understanding
that the girl will be back at a
reasonable hour with this time
entered on the sign-out list.
Need Implied
At U.N. Club
A Canadian education means
a lot in Indonesia when it comes
to developing that country's
large potential, implied Dr. H.
H. Grantham speaking before
the UN club Friday.
Lack of trained personnel
is the only stumbling block to
full development of Ihe far eastern republic, he said, and cited
an example of an Indonesian
student desiring a Canadian
university scholarship as a
means toward this end.
Dr. Grantham, just returned
from Indonesia, gave a detailed
account of educational work
now being carried out by that
country's government.
Georgette To
Be Awarded
'Two Saints"
The winner of the Ubyssey
Alphabet Soup contest has been
chosen by judges alter week9
of deliberation.
Georgette Grignard, 3 arts,
wins the sensational prize in the
contest.
"Fugue to seven sinners and
two saints" will be presented to
Georgette at the .beginning of
the spring term.
Meanwhile, the prize goes on
exhibit in the library Monday.
Georgettes entry won on the
basis of completeness, accuracy,
humor, and readability.
Here is a partial list of her
winning definitions, the most
difficult part of the Soup Contest.
Alma Mater Society: Artful
Masters of Skullduggery. Varsity Outdoors Club: Victorious
Over Constipation. Literary and
Scientific Executive: Lost Since
Eternity. Labour Progressive
Parly: Lonely Proletariat of Paradise. Judges inform Georgette
that if she wishes to borrow her
prize over the Christmas holidays, she may claim it from the
ifbyssey office in thc Brock.
McGOUN WINNERS
CHOSEN TUESDAY
Final debates for the Mc-
' Goun Cup Debating Team
were held in the Law building
Tuesday at 2.30 p.m.
Chosen for McGoun Cup
competition were Daany Goldsmith, Keith Hlllman, Peter
Lowes, Ken Perry, John Whittaker and John Coates.
Screams
Bring
Mounties
Female screams brought RCMP
to the Women's residences late
last night after "some prankster" attempted to break into
Mary Bollert hall.
No trace of any prowler was
discovered by police after a very
thorough search of the area.
The call was made about 11.90
p.m.
SCREAMS
The alleged prowler was first
sighted by Irma Farris, who
was "too startled to scream."
Irma, who li\es on the upper
floor of the dormitory, reported
she first realized someone was
trying to break in when I heard
footsteps on the roof.
"Then I saw an upside-down
face at my half-opened window,"
Irma told police later. "I thought
at first it was some boy I knew
—I was so scared I was nearly
sick."
Miss Farris reported the prowler "wore some sort of mask
with a long white beard."
WINDOW OPEN
Police ©pinion-.la that the
prowler first attempted to gain
entrance through some opening,
possibly a chimney, on the roof.
Finding no way In, he attempted
to enter through Miss Farris'
open window.
The dorm was alarmed and
police called finally after Miss
Farris "recovered enough to
scream," police state.
"It was probably some undergraduate prankster out on a
panty-raid," A. P. McHousing-
joint, assistant provo-marshal,
stated later.
"Girls say he had some large
bag over his shoulder—I suppose
it was to contain the loot."
March
Drive
Of Dimes
Rocks UBC
,    Pies, Pubsters and Applied Sciencemen raised hell ;   d
f(*r the March of Dimes campaign Thursday.
The noon hour show   was   complete   with   pie-th owirj.;
cigarette-rolling  and cigar  smoking,   lady   wrestling   < onte
and a female football game.
w
%£■ ,-j. ,...    . .^■i.jri .«....■« .Aj«'.iiji.i'fea.......
HIGH AS A KITE is a physical education wrestler known only as the Masked Marvel.
Later coming down out of the air" she went on to defeat Gorgeous George in a hilarious
wristling match sponsored by appliend science students to raise funds for their march of
dimes campaign. —Photo by John Robertson
Nurses Not To Be Affected
By Spring term Fee Increase
Nurses will not be affected by
the $2 spring term increase in
AMS fees, council disclosed at
its Tuesday noon meeting.
Some 100 nurses, registered
at thc university, but taking all
their lectures at the Vancouver
General Hospital,  will  pay  the
Service Announces
Sage Makes
Classic Find
Prof. G. R. Trusan, Classic
dept., made an "Academic scoop
yesterday when he discovered
that three wise men were Adub
Husser, Remis Eucher, and Kis-
kan Omus.
There were the only three men
in   thc  east  at  that   time   who
i
knew anything of the classics, he
announced his discovery.
The only other man with any
brains in the east at that time ! people to mail their Christmas
was Mutaph Kamel, and he was post al an early date has borne
blind, Trusan continued. j Iruit this year. Accordingly there
"He could have followed any   is expected to be less of a  last
star", said the professor. minute rush  than usual.
se
University Placement Service announced yesterday that
response to the Christmas job appeal has been "very good".
In an interview with the Ubyssey, Placement Service said
that thc chief difficulty connected with Christmas jobs was
announced yesterday    that    re- *-	
that the students did not complete examinations in time to
take advantage of many of the
jobs.
Registrar Wood has "this year
endeavoured to place the examinations  early  enough   to over-!
come this difficulty as much as |
possible,  Placement Service  of- j
ficials said. \
At press time 400 applications I
for Post Office work had been
received and there were an acl- i
ditional  100  positions available
with the Postal Service.
Post Office officials have announced that students may take ;
one full day off after the com-1
mencement of work for the pur- i
pose of examinations. This must!
be a single day and not two half
days.
Reporter
Recommends
'Mr Roberts'
By BERT GORDON
For a perfect release from the
tension that accompanies examination studies, "Mr. Roberts".
Vancouver Avon Theatre's current production, is highly recommended.
The play, produced by Dorothy Davies, was adopted by
Thomas Heggan and Joshua Logan from Heggan's book of the
same name and deals with th-1
aspirations, the frustrations and
the reactions of the men aboard
Post office work starts on Dec.      TT „  „,
16 some time between 9 a.m. and!? U,S' Navy ca,r8° sh'P operating
3 p.m. depending on the individual job.
According lo Post Office authorities    the    campaign    to    get
THEATRE  INADEQUATE
Frederic Wood Group Stars
By RAY LOGIE
In spite of Ihe completely
inadequate stage and theatre,
the Frederick Wood Theatre
group Tuesday night gave a
show thai would be a feather
in any troupe of thespians'
hats.
The group's premiere of Antony Chekov's "The Seagull"
was presented to a packed
house at the Frederick Wood
Thealre Tuesday night.
Single major criticism of the
presentation ties witli Ihe
poorly \ ont dated, badly cramped Fredrick Wood Theatre.
The pre-war hut is noi a very
I'i Minn memorial lo man like
Professor   Wood.
The play itself is probably
Ihe besi production ot its type
lo   Inl   the   campus   iu   a   long
lime. Il is unfortunate that
such a group of hardworking,
inspirational artists have to
be handicapped by the completely inadequate conditions
Ihey are forced lo work under.
Chekov's play, under thc
masterful direction of Joy
Coghill, was sensitively and
delicately treated by the thir-
leen-member cast. The difficult lead roles of Konstantine
and Nina, played by Peter Ho-
vvarth and Eleanor Nichols,
were superbly handled.
I,Very flick of the emotional
Konstantiu's cigarette appeared an effective necessity in
Ihe  j)lay.
The slow welling up of emo-
I ion in I lie directionless writer
is   portrayed     With     complete
conviction.
All hough the role of Nina
was convincingly handled in
the opening acts of the play,
her crucial emotional conflicts in the last scene were not
quite captured.
Irma, the aging thespian,
along with Masha the heartbroken, defeated lover, also
were treated with  feeling.
The dialogue and facial expressions of Pyolr, the old
man, more than compensated
for the sometimes awkward
movements of his body and
limbs. The last act. with
Pyolr in a wheelchair, was
exceptionally well done.
The building can be blamed
lor any failings in Ihe mechanics   of  the   pla\.   There   u a:;
confusion wilh the house and
stage lights and the stage wall
was nearly pushed down by
falling props from the crowded  backstage.
Any trouble in pronunciation and eniiunciatiou were
eliminated by Ihe fact that the
audience almost sat in the
thespians laps.
The sound effects added an
extra note of realism to the
|ni'odi.<.:l.ion. In the crucial
last scene the mounting emotion of Nina and Konslanlin
wa.s made all Ihe more1 effective in being underlined by a
mounting  roll of thui.der.
" I he Seae.ul!" v\;
duced from the aeliia
lion   notes   of   Ilu
repro-
produc
m'cal   Kou-
.uitin     Slanislav*.
sun
in the Pacific during the last few
; months of the  last war.
FRUSTRATION
I     The  Captain  (Art  Kcenan)   is
J:-, frustrated man  who has riser
I from   the   subservient   position-,
lot   waiter and steward     to    his
present  position  and makes  his
educated     Lieutenant     Roberts
(Craig Stevens) and the crew Ihe
scapegoats  for his frustrations.
The language in "Mr. Roberts'
,s forceful and typical of that
found among a group of isolated
normal males. Audience reaction
lo iho language was mild shod:
at first followed hy understand
in,!.; chuckles.
TALENTED
Bruno Gorussi as Ensign IX
Pulver displayed a great deal ol
natural talent and put a great
deal more lite into the carefree,
youthful and boastful officer in
charge of laundry than Crab.;
Stevens did in his portrayal oi
the  title  role.
Slovens' acting, at times, became mere voicing of words and
lacked conviction. However, the
role of ihe sacrificing I.ieulen
ant called for greater acting ability than did lhal of the irres
nonsible   Ensign. j
All Keenan as the power- j
maniacal Caplain overdid his '
iarl and lef; his audience wilh ■
Iho feeling that bis raucous voice
would give out before the end j
ol.  I lie   [it.i\ . ,
£4 fee as in previous years.
Thc decision to exclude all
years of nurses was reached at
the time increase was proposed,
and was based on the fact that
nurses do not benefit by AMS
privileges as do other students.
Since they are not on the
campus, nurses get only AMS
cards and copies -Of The Ubyssey
for their $4 fee.
With the new increase, AMS
fees will be broken down in the
same manner as is done now,
with the exception that more
money will be earmarked for
AMS subsidiary organizations
on campus. Other groups, such
as Health Service and World
University Students of Canada
will continue to receive their
present allotment.
Students who are taking courses of more than six units pay an
AMS fee of $18 beginning January 4; those taking six or less,
pay $10 and nurses $4.
The manner of distribution of
tee payment among students in
professional courses on campus,
said Allan Goldsmith, AMS
treasurer, Is decided on a percentage basis according to the
sum of tuition fees paid.
*  *  *  *
Ann Cooper, secretary, reporting on the ashcan situation
'in campus, declared that 73 new
.vaste receptacles could be used,
'nit amended this by saying she
bought she could reduce the
. igure to about 50, Council
thought so too.
Contrary to popular opinion,
pubsters, unrighteous as it
may seem, are required to
write  exams  too.
And with that terribly
thought in mind this paper
shuts down for the year, to
appenr again at thc same old
stand on January 5 with three
issues a week.
3 7-Year-Old
Body Bruised
A .'17-year-old Santa Clans
suffered head lacerations and
body bruises early Christmas
o.orning during a fight with a
. owell street roominghouse ope-
•alor.
Police  said   the   injured   man,
h'ossod in a red suit and toque,
dlempled  lo enter the rooming-
house    shortly    after    midnight,
but    was   stopped   by   the   land-
'ord.   who   slugged   Ihe   intruder
with   a   whisky   boille   to   knock
him  down a  flight  of stairs.
Officers   quoted   the   landlord
s   saying:   "\o   visitors   allowed
ifler   I I    p.m    I   keep   a   respect
aide   house."
pThe auctioning of pies to
tlttow at the Ubyssey editorial
efcd with a wild free-for-all
wjpch began wlien Al Fothering-
hjp hit campaign chairman
Gpnt Hepburn with a pumpkin
§§hc Applied Science students,
aljered at the revolt among
t||r victims, carried Fothering-
hj§> off in thc direction of the
Ub pond.
Utter a futile fight, the editor
t finally flung bodily into the
cold water.
fThe noon show started off
With a log-rolling contest in
vpich several students, bare-
fflOt and wearing packboards,
performed acrobatic acts on slippery logs. None of the entries
Wtre successful in winning the
prize for this contest.
-One of the highlights of thc
three-ring circus was the "football game" between girls of the
Home Economics dept. and Nurses. These paragons of femininity played the roughest brand of
football this campus has seen
since last year's exhibition.
During the "game," Irene Mc-
Callum, Home Ec Undergrad
president, received a black eye
and assorted lacerations.
The only touchdown of the
same was made by Pat Pater-
son of the nurses.
After the football game the
crowd's attention was turned to
the grandstand where a cigar
smoking "lady wrestler" out-
smoked three male contestants
in this contest.
Little Jimmy Middleton, polio
victim, who is pictured on thc  Auditorium, Tuesday. Dec. 8
March of Dimes containers, wes  noon     Cost    ls    $24 70 retu*n
'tween ciosses
Faculty To Give
Two-Week Serifs
UBC, FACULTY presentif" >o
you remember?" a scries <jf s ;u-
dent compositions on vari< us
subjects at various time*/and
places, beginning next Thursday.   All must attend—take any •
seat—no smoking.
# * * *
PLAYERS'   CLUB   gene -al
meeting Monday at noon to announce the Spring Play.
* * * »
TOTEM BASKETBALL tournament will be tonight and tomorrow night in Memorial Gym.
* ♦ « * ■>
FORT CAMP DANCE Om be
held in Brock Hall tonigh^-;..!;
• * * • '"
UNITED NATIONS' ' V£$t
meeting today.
Train Leaving
On Track Six
For Calgary
Santa Claus and his" reindejer
may be fast-moving, but they
certainly have nothing Oil th(*e
UBC students who plan to traifel
to* Calgary.
Surpise the folks at Homo by
arriving before Santa. Tieki its
will be on sale at the foot of t ie
stairs in the Cafeteria,    in    t ie
at
made an honorary Applied Science student following his appearance at the noon hour show.
Board Orders
Brotherhood
Recognition
Labor Relations Board ordered Santa Delivery Ltd., RR No.
6, North Pole, today to honor
the Board's certification of the
Universal Brotherhood of Reindeer and other animals.
Santa Claus, president of the
company, was warned that unless his firm complied with the
Board's order by January 1, it
would have to suspend operations.
Although the Board's order
met union demands, union officials declared today that they
would appeal the deadline.
"Christmas delivery service is
a highly seasonal industry," a
union official said. "If thc deadline is not moved forward, Santa
Claus  will  just  ignore  the  rul-
!ing"
I Union spokesmen pointed out
I that all workers in the industry
are laid off December 26. They
warned that Santa Claus might
also try to liquidate the firm
and incorporate a new firm under the tax corporation laws of
Ihe state of Delaware to obviate
the ruling.
Sanla Claus told the Ubyssey
dial he had not yet called a meeting of the firm's directors to
decide whal was to be done
about the LRB ruling.
Lambda Chi, WUS
Express Gratitude
Lambda Chi Alpha Fraternity
aid World University Service
* \pross tlmir sincere thanks h>
dl who cooperated in the recent
"Clothine, Drive For Greece"
said Vic Stevens. Lambda Chi
Aloha   I'residenl.
Slevons reported lhal ..pprox
ii lalely one I hou.sand pounds id
elol hill};    u ere   collected.
Train will leave Vancouv »r,
Dec. 18 at 8.15 and will return
January 3.
For further information, contact Stan Bolter at AL: 0844-L
or Tom Loney at AL. 2420-Y.
Goodbye Vancouver, bawshr*
Calgary. ■*■' :4f
THE    UPLIFT
by Christmas °;ill
lio I'e It this yea
Santa Claus ha>.
nol to ride. Su
kiddies I mm iie
pointed by eiyim
|ios,il)|e    w;iv.    In
iVH'MI'l V (.'l|l'.'.,T
pro
lire
le I
iMssssaaisMli ,'!
PAGE TWO
THE   UBYSSEY
THE
Friday, December 4, 1953
MEMBER CANADIAN UNIVKjpTY PRESS
Authorized as second class mail, Post Ofw«a. Department, Ottawa.
Student subscriptions $1.20 per year (includftPin AMS fees). Mail subscrip.
tions $2 per year. Single copies five cents. Pub***!}h* Vancouver throughout tho
University year by the Student Publications Board of the Alma Mater Society,
University of British Columbia. Editorial opinionijixpressed herein are those of
the editorial staff of The Ubyssey, and not neC1f?J|l,lly those of the Alma Mater
Society or the University. Letters to the Editor snoild not be more than 180 words.
The Ubyssey reserves the right to cut letters, anf cannot guarantee publication
if all letters received. . *
Offices in Brock Hall V For Display Advertising
Phone ALma 1824 ^    Phone ALrna 32S3
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF  tBENEZER SCROOGE
MANAOAOING EDITOR — 4»— PONTIUS PILATE
VrCE EDITOR    __.--.JL.___   MACHIAVELLI
Executive Editors   8h,drlF' Meshach, Abednago
City Editor   - -Ji- Honest Abe Yokum
Social Editors    King Hfid, Mamie -;'««»nhowsr
Sportj. Editor      .. |§ Rita Hayworth
Ghost Editor     -m Wally Mulligan
Book Editor -   -■» Repulsive Clark
Myth Editor   #-Dlp« Brock Chisholm
Food Editor   -ft  Ab Kant
Financial, Gardaning and Brldg* - ||- .Ivan Faithsm
To Hell With Clristmas
About this time of year the usual sentimental slobs will begin the usual drivel about
the usual Christmas. Originally a religious
festival, Christmas has become a commercial
racket, a monster month-long carnival fashioned by cynical hucksters who dangle their
tinselled bait»before the public.
A holiday supposedly set aside for thc
commemoration of the birth of Christ, Christmas now is noteworthy because of the fact
that liquor sales jump 300% in the month
of December.
Supposedly a season of love and goodwill, Christmas has degenerated into a nation-
Down With Santa Claus
wide
tuted
mightj
It
gullil
Jones!
rednel
a pagl
III
replac
the
nounc
The symbol of all that represents Christmas; good old Santa Claus also has joined
the ranks of the sales-chart analysts.
Once the patron saint of the kids, the
walking bowlful of jelly has been conscripted
to sell everything from toilet paper to rotgut
whiskey, women's constricting devices to logging trucks, and now represents the jolly old
opinion that the,re is nothing quite so Christ-
masy as getting stewed at the office party
on Christmas Eve.
The whiskers now are stained with the
filthy color of sucker money and the pack-
sack now contains beautiful glistening toy
tanks and guns and disintegrating-ray pistols
and realistic bren-guns. and all the other
wonderfully inspirational weapons which toy
manufacturers maintain the five-year old demands, ignoring the fact that the five-year-
old has nothing to choose from.
Santa, the symbol of generosity, love,
friendifcip and good-will, now beams jovially
at thapands of children from thousands of
billbolids as he endorses thousajyls of brands
of Uqpr. Aided and abetted by the ever-
lasting4ull-breasted proto-type of the average
American girl,'he plies Ills trade as the
world! best salesman of laundry soap and
threshing machines, cigarettes and furniture,
bicycles and underwear.
Children who first see the realization of
"faith" in the figure of Santa Claus now encounter a moth-eaten solicitor for funds on
every downtown street corner and shrink
from a sickenly-gushy old phony in eveiy
department store.
In following the trend of making the
alreadyoverworked Mr. Cldus a door?to-door
salesman, The Ubyssey sadly announces that
in the interests of the world's yet unborn
children, it would be better if we all said:
DOWN WITH SANTA CLAUS.
GUEST EDITORIAL
Bring Back Christ To Christmas
It is definitely necessary that we reorient ourselves regarding the meaning of
Christmas. Why? Our present customs regarding the observation of Christmas arc
becoming more and more glaringly out of
harmony with the true and intended meaning
of this celebration, the commemoration- of
the birth of Christ. What is more, the actual
significance of the Christmas story, which
we so often pass over lightly, does have a
bearing on our time. We need to become more
aware of that.
What has Christmas come to mean? We,
as students, tend to associate an accelerated
activity with it, first directed toward the
completion of exams, then toward some part
time job to tide us over into next year, or
other activities. Little time remains for pleasure of any sort, even less time for worship.
FOR GOOD  KIDS
. When we do consider Christmas seriously
it is often only to worry about the Christmas
gift list, the filling of which is no small ordeal
in view of the usual financial situation of
the student and under the rather harrassing
conditions in shopping centres. And so we
might go on, to picture other aspects of
Christmas festivities that belie the actual
purpose of it all.
The world is seriously perplexed, to say
the least. It needs a realization of the benediction given by the angels on that memorable night, "Glory to God in the highest, and
on earth peace, good will toward men." Only
as we "bring Christ back into Christmas"
and realize some of the implications of tho
central event in human history, around which
Christmas is to centre, wil lit ever be realized.
.  , —Alfred Siemens
Santas Little Letterbox
SANTA'S   ANSWERS  to  perplexing personal problems:
Dear Santa: — I am blond,
bluc-cyed, and everyone says I
have a good figure. My dimensions are: weight, 108 lbs., bust
37 inches, waist 24 inches, hips
36 inches. I have a Cadillac
convertible and my father is a
millionaire. I am 18 years old
and extremely passionate. Despite all this, no one ever asks
me out. I am so lonesome I
could just die. Please help me.
—Bored and Beautiful
P.S.--UnfoiInnately I am 17
feet tall.    Santa: What?
Dear Santa:- My step-father,
Daddy Morebucks, will not
jjive me an allowance and he
makes me work the streets in
back-breaking early morning
shifts. How can I get enough
to buy my female hormones?
I've been in this condition for
14 years ami I ;,in't seen puberty yet. It's monotonous.
—• Lil Avvrl'in' Annie
Santa: It Is my considered
opinion that any hormonal in-
than previously.   It is only safe
to cross with the green light.
terfcrence would only serve to
multiply your problems. However, if you are still interested,
I refer you to my colleagues in
Denmark.
* • * *
Dear Santa:—I'm the recent
mother of triplets. Isn't it wonderful?    It only happens once of no sex. tell u what happens
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
Mie Hawkins race with the prosti-
|siness world in hot pursuit of the al-
iuck.
world which has capitalized on th?
fy of children, the "keep-up-with-the
lania of their parents and the sac-
|of the church, Christmas has become
ritual.
/lew of the fact that the dollar has
religion on tiie shrine of Christmas,
irs of The Ubyssey regretfully an-
HELL WITH CHRISTMAS
Editor, The Ubyssey:
I wish to declare that I had
nothing whatever to do with
the letter that appeared in the
last edition of The Ubyssey
under the title "Gibbernish"
and with my name attached to
•it.
The fact is obvious that someone on the campus has hidden
behind my name because he
didfhot have the courage to
stand behind his own statements.
The person who signs a letter to the editor with a non de
plume is often considered to be
faint-hearted. The person who
signs another's name to a letter
is not only considered by society to be among its lowest types
but that person is considered
a criminal in the eyes of the
law.
If I am fortunate enough to
discover who the person was
who wrote the gibberish in the
last edition of The Ubyssey and
signed my name to it without
any reference to me, I will
charge that person to the fullest
extent of the law. '
HANS J. ZICKMANTEL
Rtmovt It
Editor, The Ubyssey:        *
How cqn we bring Christ
back to Christmas? I_ow can
we remove the 'X' from Xmas,
Editor, The Ubyssey:
The burning in effigy of Colonel McCormick on Sunday
night before 300 cheering students has added another to thc
growing number of irresponsible acts which are rapidly
diminishing the reputation of
the students of this University.
This senseless attempt to protest against McCormick's McCarthy-like attack on Lester
Pearson, apart from its being
in very pbor taste, appears all
the more ridiculous in view of
the fact that the same stunt
was done by students in Toronto three weeks ago, making the
UBC demonstration look quite
apish (even if Jabez did approve of it). Those who would
use such crude methods to
voice their resentment pf Mc-
Carthylsm are evidently lacking as much in imagination as
they are in good taste.
Did any of the students who
organized the burning actually
believe that such a stupid display—setting fire to a prominent American, while young
Canada cheers—would be an effective protest against the anti-
Canadian drivelling of the Tribune or the more sinister menace of Senator McCarthy?
The monstrous lies that Mc-
CLASSIFIED
mas?    Today Christ is being
delivery
FR. 9591.
service
Sundays
(30)
removed from Christmas Itself, 2(i' KETCH "HALFMOON", All
even to the extent of changing i8,0!1™68'..35™^.^"* .Vy-
the word Christmas to 'Xmas.'
The present widespread observance of Christmas is but a
feast day of a pagan humanity.
The present Christmas spirit
is beginning to degenerate into
selfishness and Into the bartering of gifts for business or social reasons. *
> h.p,
$1,600,    at    WVYC,    Fished
man s Cove. Phone Whytecllff
3291 evenings.
NAVY BLUE 'DIXON' RAIN-
coat, ladies. Lost Monday noon
outside Brock Coffe Shop. Any
Information, N'W 3234
FOR SALE 1 PR. OFSTAD Laminated skiis, «' 3", Gresvig
Kandahar harness, used only
few times, $25. Phone ALma
1339-Y
We can do our part- in re- MUSICAL SOCIETY REHEAR-
storing the spirit of Christ to sal for Red Mill Saturday 1.30
Christmas  by  exhibiting  out- Pm- ln Hu* M-l. Full attend-
wardly the   true   meaning of woULdTi iTe   TO   SHARE
Christmas.   Christ is pushed in driving and expenses with stu-
the background by the lack*of dent travelling to California
the Nativity scene in the homes, th,s Christmas, leaving around
IL""^ ""ir"rd coun; ' »DtMpA88°8r55 i-Sss.AiKsr.
ters, apd by   the   absence of      p.m. to 6.30.
Christ in most Christmas cards.  WALLET, IN MEMORIAL GYM
Therefore we can help bring      Dec   2- Wed. eve.    Please re-
Christ  back to Christmas  by waiSBa*OI^SmcScLE
for Christmas. Phone Ce. 2389
Carthy, McCormick and their
ilk are spreading throughout
the United States cannot be refuted or exposed by such infantile exhibitions as that of Sunday night. McCormick accuses
Mr. • Pearson of Communist
leanings and of aiding spies because he refuses to sacrifice his
country's independence to one
of McCarthy's jackals, so UBC
students award the Colonel the
Order of Lenin and set fire to
him. This would be funny if
it were not almost tragic.
Would it not be better to
block McCarthyism by acting
rationally and decisively when
confronted with attempts to
drag it across the border? The
effectiveness of this approach
was shown by the Canadian
government in its reply to Senator Jenner's request concerning Igor Gouzenko.
Surely we can defeat McCarthyism in Canada without resorting to methods which,
though as distasteful and brutish, as his own, the Senator
from Wisconsin would himself
disdain. McCarthy would approve of burning in effigy, but
he would not employ them in
his crusade to drive free thought
and expression from the face
Dear Santa:—i am an engineer and i want you to no that
i think college is keen except
that i'm not happy hear because
every  18,644 times.
Santa:—It is indeed extremely remarkable. But tell me,
how do you find time to do
your housework?
• • * *
Dear Santa:—What is an efficient contraceptive?
Santa:—Orange juice.
Q: Is it taken before or after?
A: Instead.
* *  * *
Dear Santa: — When   is    it
safe?
Santa: —• It must be emphasized, to begin with, that caution is required al all times.
Any relaxation of the normal
precautionary measures is inviting trouble. However, thanks
to recent scientific developments we are now in a position
to offer you much more hope
when i get dates with gurls.
i take them out to eat and drink
maybe three sometimes more
times, pretty soon i park the
car and try to make time wich
i think is only fair after spending time and money, butt they
only 9ay O Mike i have got to
studdy tonite, or maybe just
say gudnite and run like hell
and i am teed off. now what
i want to no is wear can i get
a gurl here who nos what sex
is about? —Mike Poop.
Santa:—We can readily imagine your visceral discomfort.
However, this is a problem
which has never arisen amongst
our own group which is reputed to have the lowest incidence
of varicoceles on the continent.
We refer you to bored and
beautiful.
demonstrating the Nativity
scene on the campus and in our
own homes, by sending religious Christmas cards and by
showing a more personal love
for the true meaning of Christmas.
MARY McGORAN
Congratulations
Editor, The Ubyssey:
The groups that sponsorec"
"Prelude to Christmas" (Auditorium, noon, Wednesday' are
to be congratulated on presenting a superb symbol of Christmas, 1953. In a one hour program they gffVe a vivid and
startling impression of contemporary Western societies abortive attempt to ride two horses
at the same time—a moral, spiritual interpretation of life and
a sense-centred, material prac-|
tice of living. All the self-
sated struggle of a weary world
to stay astride both these concepts was focussed in the program.
Mr. M c M an u s' excellent
choice of a ballad from each
of those streams of our culture
could not be excelled even by
the Glee Club's juxtaposition
of "Oh Little Town of Bethlehem" with "Coming Through
the Rye." Oh Holy Child of
Bethlehem—Be born in us we
pray" did jar when placed
alongside, "Yet every lad does
smile on me when coming
through the rye," but its effect
cannot compare with the contrast between "Dear baby Jesus
boy, we didn't know who you
were," and Captain Morgan's
wenching and "sucking at the
jung." The apparent inability of the guest instrumentalists to find anything more
appropriate for Christmas than
"Three Blind Mice" was an excellent piece of satire. And to
string these numbers on the
thread of the unctious and carefully casual manner of thc M.C.
was a fine touch. My only criticism, the producers did verge
on the farcial in having a staff
member of a religious club introduce the program.
Here was not mere entertainment but a carefully chosen
and masterfully executed example of irony. All groups
participating must be congratulated on a cleverly wrought
satire of the contemporary
scene.
ROBT. A. WALLACE,
Theology.
A CAREER IN
METEOROLOGY
//. You Have A 1954 Degree In
Mathematics and Physics, Applied Mathematics.
Engineering Physics—earn $270 a month while
studying for Master's degree in Meteorology, then
$315 to $470 as a Professional Meteorologist in
forecasting, research and climatology.
OR
r
Bachelor degree in Arts, Science or Engineering
(with credits in Physics and Mathematics), earn
$275 to $375 a month as a Professional Meteorologist at military or aviation forecast officps.
OPPORTUNITIES FOR OVERSEAS POSTING
Details and application forms at your nearest
Civil Service Commission Office or Placement
Bureau of your university.
of North America, because they
are not effective.
Please, let us have no more
of such fatuous expressions of
our intention to resist McCarthyism. However, perhaps this
warning has come too late. It
may be that the anti-anti-Com-
munists will soon be pending
our own Ron Gostick and JohJ
Blackmore up in flames.
TOM BERGER,
(1st Law)
SHIRJS 19
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E U R O'P E
1954
STUDENT TOUR
66 DAYS $1098
Sail June 12 tourist class on S.S. Atlantic from Quebec on special conducted tour limited to Students. A week in
London. Holland including Vollendam and Isle of Marken.
Brussels, Cologne, the Rhine by steamer. Motor tour of the
Black Forest, Liechtenstein, Australian Tyrol, Bavarian
Castles, Dolomites, Venice, Adriatic Ceast, tiny Republic of
San Marino. Rome, the Hill Towns .Florence, Rome. Italian
and French Rivieras, Franch Alps, Switzerland, Paris. Motor
tour of Scotland, English Lakes, North Wales, Shakespeare
Country, Exmor, Glorious Devon—Returning tourist class
on the S.S. Atlantic arriving Quebec August 16.
INDEPENDENT
TRAVEL
Choose your departure aid return
dates; include as much or as little as
you wish in the price category of your
choice—all on a pre-arranged, prepaid basis. .An itinerary
that is made to order for you.
Ask for descriptive folders
University Travel Club Ltd.
57 Bloor St. West, Toronto. KI. 6984
Management) J. F. It O. H. Lucas
But they've reduced their budget problems
to this simple formula — steady saving
at
to a mi\m eumm
Bank of Montreal
Your Bank on the Campus ...
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MERLE C. KIRKBY,
Manager.
WORKING WITH CANADIANS IN EVERY WAIK OF LIFE SINCC  18171
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Zellor Blclj*., 004 Columbia Si., Now Westminster Slock Exchange Bids.;., 475 Howe St.
Fred B. G'1'roe.rer, Branch Manager II. C. Webber, CLU.. Branch Manager
Vancouver Branch Office, 402 W. Pender St.
Eric V. Chown, LL.B., C.L.U., Branch Manager
Victoria Branch Office, 201 Scollard Bldg.  Robt. M. Moore, C.L.U., Branch Manager Saturday December J26th
THE   UBYSSEY
PAGE THR1
Whistle(r) While I Work (?)
Motto Said Santa's Downfall
'TWAS THE NIGHT AFORE XMAS
WHEN RUDOLPH WAS ARRESTED
Police arrested a five-year-old reindeer last night for
impaired driving, after the beast allegedly raced down the
wrong side of Powell Street in a low slung sleigh and
committed eleven traffic violations.
Officers said the beast, who gave his name as Rudolph,
startled a pedestrian with his antlers while singing, "To
hell with jingle bells" and backfired at a street corner
Santa Claus, shattering store windows and blinding shoppers.  .
Is Red Ryder Helping
Notorious Santa Claus?
BLAINE, WASH—(BURP)—Dec. 26—K. Kringle, alleged
anti-American, stole across the Canadian-US border near here
late last night, border authorities have announced.
Kringle was refused legal entry to the United States earlier
 : —<*thla week after the State Depart-
wm a a     I ment received information that
Toy Maker
To Protest
■Away'
J. B. Bellicose, International
toymaklng'magnate, is reported
to be forming a lobby to protest
against* the rampant '.'below-
ceiling give-away" of toys by a
small competitor, one S. Claus.
Bellicose, also a director of
IMCO, ALCUM, GDE, USA and
UNO, charged Friday that not
only does Claus manufacture
toys in slave labor camps, but
he Is paying hit slaves a scale
that exceeds Bellicose's basic
rate-of "two good American dollars" a day as established by the
Labor Relations Board.
The National Board of Manufacturers is said' to be threatening an international boycott of
Claus and his products.
he had been behind the Iron Curtain and was also engaged .in
smuggling operations.
He is reputed to be the boss
of that notorious S. Claus (to be
confused with Klaus Fucns)
"goodies ring," which has been
smuggling cheap, inferIqs, foreign-made -toys into the U.S. in
large quantities.
SHARP DENIAL
Sharp denial that pressure
from either the powerful Chimney-sweep union (AF of L) or the
Toymakers of America Association had influenced the department, was made at that time.
Kringle is described by FBI
investigators as "about 8'6",
wearing red suit, obviously-false
white beard,^ driving an old*
model coupe, with a stomach that
shakes like a bowl full of jelly."
Citizens were warned that this
man is carrying contraband and
is armed. Over 200 "Red Rydei
automatics" are believed to.'..fee
in his possession.
UNIVERSITY BOOK STORE
Hrs. 9 a.m.-5 p.m.     Sat. 9 am to Noon
Loose-Leaf Note Books, Exercise Books and Scribblers,
Graphic Engineering Paper, Biology Paper, Loose-leaf
Refills, Fountain Pens and Ink and Drawing Instruments
Owned and Operated hy
The University oi BX.
> LONDON, Dec. 26 — Coutts
—Speculation is still rife here
today over Santa Claus' precedent-shattering refusal to make
his traditional journey to all
rooftops Christmas Eve.
The world is still shocked at
Thursday's press release from
the North Pole, in which Santa
announced — without explanation—that he would "spend
Christmas at home."
MOST WEIGHT
Coutts correspondents have
wired possible explanations
from every corner of the globe,
and the theory carrying the most
weight is that Santa has finally
been given a Christmas present
—probably by philosopher Albert Schweitzer, say most sources.'
Explains the chief of Coutts'
New York Bureau, Drew Aces:
"Santa has finally realized, along
with the rest of the world, that
it is better to receive than to
give."
Considerable support is being
given a theory based on an unconfirmed and untraceable rumour which appeared in mid-December. It holds that Santa is
attempting to appease his wife
following her action for' a divorce suit over circumstances
buried for more than fifty years.
SEES MOMMY
It is alleged that Santa's wife
has named Whistler's mother as
co-respondent in the divorce action; that Whistler blurted out
at a fashionable dinner party,
"I saw mommy kissing Santa
Claus."      *
Others say that Santa was unable to do his Christmas shopping early; that he is resentful
of impersonators, and will
shortly demand that "Thou shalt
have no other Santas before me."
The most Incredible tale, offered by Ooutt's Skagway correspondent, is that Santa's children are now firmly convinced
there is no Santa Claus, and that
Santa is really "only the old
man."
l^ifpH      •
T&.
—Ubyssey Photo by X
KISSES
NAMED as co-respondent in
divorce action of well-known
Christmas couple is Whistler's mother.
HO TWHT, FUSSY CURIS HERE!
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TAX LOSSES
"We must bring the airline
under tederal control so we can
tax the people for its losses." He
did not say what losses might
be incurred.
When asked if the Board could
use Mr. Kringle'i style of delivery, the unidentified member
offered no specific comment but
said the government would
handle the cue ln the best Liberal tradition.
•Another member of the Board
of Transport <ilso unidentified)
stated there were many international implications involved.
"Though the Northland is gen-
rally considered to be Canada's
property, the North Pole is
Krlngle's home base, actually situated in the Arctic Ocean," he
said.
NORTHINTEREST
"The United States has an Interest in the Northland and -we
do not wish to heighten the tension between our countries already created by the University i
of BC's effigy burning of Colonel Robert McCormick," he added.
'Meanwhile, the Kremlin has
demanded that, as it invented
Santa Claus it should be fully
represented at all talks. However, the dispatch from Russia
added, the Kremlin would exchange Kringle in a straight
deal for Igor Oouzenko.
Up until press time Mr.
Kringle was unavailable for
comment concerning the move.
Kringle's Last Chance
Says Transport Dept.
OTTAWA—(Rotters)—Canada's Board of Transport Com-
missioners will take steps to prevent K. Kringle from taking!
to the skies on Dec. 24, 1954.
An unidentified members of the Board said Friday this
was the last year Kringle would 3>
be allowed to operate his worldwide air route. "We have Juit
rejected OPA's request for an
extended franchise," said the
same member, "we cannot allow
another competitor to a govern*
ment monopoly."
He added that though Kringle,
known to most Of his customers
as Santa Claus, did his near-billion dollar business only once a
year, the Board felt this was
large enough to threaten the
country's economy.
Castle Jewellers
4110 W. 10th    .712 Oranville
ALma 8009
Expert Watch Repairs
oflpte*
WATCHES
Use our Xmas Lay-away Plan
A deposit .will hold articles
Special Discount to Students
DRAUGHTING
INSTRUMENTS
FROM 110.00
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SET SQUARES
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POIYPHASE SLIDE RULES
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AMES LETTERING
INSTRUMENTS
FOUNTAIN PENS
Clarke & Stuart
Co. Ltd.
STATIONERS ft PRINTERS
550 Seymour St., Vancouver
COLLEGE SHOP
Open Every Noon, except Saturday
'OR THE HOLIDAYS!
Ski sweaters, College Sweaters, V-neck Sweaters
Assorted Christmas Cards, UBC Christmas Cards,
Wrapping Paper, Stickers, Gift Sets.
tfiri*
-YPEWRITER
The BEST and the SMALLES.
Portable Typewriter in Canada I
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m PAGE FOUR
THE    UBYSSEY
Friday, December 4, 1953|
Annual T
Underway
Thunderbirds,  Eileri
Vikings And CPS
By STAN BECK and DUNC THRASHER
Jack Pomfret's basketball crew, fresh from thei
win last weekend will be trying to make it four in aj
weekend when the Totem Tournament gets underwa
em Tourney
his Weekend
| War Memorial Gym. ^
Eilers,  of thc city Senior A
I League, Western Washington
Vikings and the. defending cham-
)ion College of Puset Sound Log-
Igers will be the teams that will
try and make things rough for
the 'Birds.
The tourney gets under way
tonight   at
losers meet and at 9:0.
winners will tangle fol]
tern Trophy.
Here is  the  way
stack  up:    The 'Birds!
I fielding their strongest j
years. The addition of.-'
'Craig has made a big
7:30 when Western j to the team and for
^Washington takes on the rough  lime in a long while
5PS team. At 9:00 the Thunder- have some bench stren
jirds meet the strong Eiler quin- McLeod appears head!
tet to decide which local team i best season in his alrei
pill be the finals on Saturday | career and   Bob  Bone!
light.
Zaharko and captain
son round out a powe
At 7:30 on "Saturday the two
CPS Hot Strong Ttom
The team has showr. very well
tin   their   first  few   exhibition
games but their opponents this
weekend wil be the first ones of
any calbre. The "Birds should get
9y the   Eilers with   a   relative
|amount of ease but they had better   not   let   up   because   the
I Jewellers are a much improved
crew since Nev Munro and Bob
Pickell have rounded into form.
If the 'Birds meet in the filial
IOn Saturday   night,   and   they
should, they will have a real battle on their hands. IF, and it is a
jig if, the boys can lose their in
famous third quarter blues and
if they can run at t©$f
the way they will glvl
gers a real run for ths
The CPS Loggers
the strongest teams in
ference this year and
fighting it out With
and Eastern Washingtonfor the
title.
Coach John Heindri
saken height for epeed|
and he has a very we||
club. The tallest rMp
team  is  6'5"  center?
Tiesen who is except
for his size.
COLLEGE EDUCATI0H
NOTHING TO DO WITH STUKE
A News-Herald statement that UBC's outstanding
halfback Jack Hutchinson was brought out hero by Annis
Stukus for the express purpose of playing ball for the
Vancouver Lions is completely unfounded.
"I, with the aid of my parents, am paying my own way
through university' said Hutchinson. "And I intend to play
college football next year!"
I as for-
s year
lanced
in the
irence
lyiaat
Elltrs Could Surpritt
fence with them again
and could give CPS *
Their main offensive
oddly enough, two
len Reimer and Bob
Eilers are definitely
sisters inthe tournaiw
not completely outclsi
Munro snapped out of
ing slump last week
be a big factor for Ji
sythe's boys. That Bob
will score at least tweni
goes without saying and if Reid
Mitchell gets his set shot going
the Jewellers could surprise a lot
In their only game this year
|the Loggers disposed of Seattle
'acific College by the score of
80-02. Bill Medin, a Junior from
Seattle was the big scorer for
CPS with 16 points. The fact
that there were four men out of
five ln double figures proves
their strength.
Not much information is avail-
| able on the Western Washington
tings other than that in their
debut they Just lost out by three
points to Pacific Lutheran College, last year's Conference
champions. They will be sure to
have their vaunted pressing de-Jof people
'Birds In Top Form
We look for the TTiunderbird' j gether lor the first time
and the Loggers to meet in the
final with the winner being . . . ?
In the second half, if everything
goes according to form, and
when does it ever, the Vikings
should whip Eilers.
Dick Penn's band travel down
to 'Mount Vernon tonight for a
game with powerful Mount Vernon Junior College. Due mainly
to poor shooting in recent games
the J.V.'s have not been able to
put together more than one or
BILL MEDIN OF THE CPS LOGGERS will see action this
weekend in the Totem Tournament. In the Loggers' first
game this year against Seattle Pacific College Bill scored 16
points as his team rolled over Seattle 80-26.
Rowing To Become
Big-Time Sport
After, toiling in relative obscurity for the last few years
the UBC rowing team is going to get the break it deserves.
Few people realize that rowing is UBC's only real big-time
sport and that the crew has a chance this year to make the
University internationally known.
With proper training, properf,
All Three
Rugby Teams
See Action
Three streaks, • one winning
and two losing, will go on the
block tomorrow as 'the final
games of the pre-scason half of
the Vancouver Rugby Union
schedule get underway.
The second division UBC
Braves face Ex-Brits at Balla-
clava Park in an attempt to gain
their seventh straight win and
possibly sixth shutout. Originally the Braves were scheduled
to meet the also undefeated Kals
but that match has been postponed till the new year.
After having had three successive contests cancelled because of poor playing conditions
the Varsity Chiefs, who are defending champions of the first
division, will face Merlomas
here at the UBC stadium.
The Chiefs best display of a
dismal season—the record so far
is five straight losses, more than
have been experienced in a total
of eleven previous seasons—
was against these same Merlomas earlier in the year wheivthe
latter eked out a 5-3 victory.'
»
The Tomahawks, who thus far
have only a tie to their credit
after seven games, will be meeting the Blue Bombers at Douglas
Park.
Football mentor Don Coryell
will be making his first appearance as Tomahawk coach after
having spent a week in the deep,
dark woods studying ye old English rule book. Possibly tomorrow will see substitution introduced into the 'ironman' sport.
Tho
Junior squad has everything
else needed to put them up there \ \s a good coach. Frank Read
with Eilers. They can run witn
any team in the Province and
can rebound with the best. As
soon as they find their shooting
eye, iron out personal difficulties and begin to play as a
tightly knit unit they'll be on
their way.
Nucleus of "Cuddles" Franklin's high scoring team are Ron
support and proper coaching
there is no telling how good the
UBC crew can be. It is no exaggeration to say that UBC can
have one of the best crews in
the world.
Of the above-mentioned requisites for a good team tho University has only one so far. Th:U
tho
unsung hero of UBC sports, ips
proven to be one of the best
rowing coaches in the land.
Last year coach Read took
eight  men  who  turned  out  for
by stan beck
fihivahL Jmisl
two quarters of good basketbaR ! Johnson and Dave Horton, two
This is not unusual, in fact it boys down from the J.V.'s, alonsj
happens all the time when a with Ron Ghitter and versatile
group   of   young kids   play   to- Al Davies,
'Birds Lose Third
Straight Game, 8-7
In all fairness to the hockey team it should be said that
they are suffering from an "exam slump" after they lost their
third straight game 8-7 to Forum on Monday night at tho
Kerrisdale Arena. It  was another one of those
-   --      ---•* games where the 'Birds had an
\  M • "|- I t>dge    '"     PlUy    bUt    Persisted     iU
VSTS-tV       I 63m I passing   the   puck   to   the  other
Goes Against
Dominions
The first round or the Richardson Cup,* emblematic    of    local i
soccer   supremacy,   gets   under-:
way   this   Sunday   at   Memorial j
Park   South   when   thc   Varsity
XI take on Dominions.
The first half of the 'B' Division schedule has boon complet-1
1 ed and the 'Birds have finished
in a fourth place lie with Royal
I Oaks with a record ul two wins,
| (four   losses,   a;id    four   draws.
Richardson   Cup   play   suspends
league action until after the holidays.
Tho   teams  nieiuoere  showing
hasn't   dampened    Kd    Luckett's
enthusiasm.     The  Varsity   coach
fools  that   his  team's eliaiuvs  of
a win this Sunday are evry _.ood.
Coach I.uckott  has even gone so
far In say that  if the loam keeps
lip    ils    present    form    and    gets
a   lew   breaks that   the.\   can   heat
Ihe   champion   New   Westminster
lUoah. in the second round.
team in front of their own net.
The result—Forum 8, UBC 7.
Goalie Anderson didn't have one
of his best nights but his defence had one of their worst and
that's the difference between a
winning and a losing team.
With just thirty seconds lef1
to play the 'Birds were on the
short end of an 8-5 score. In the
next sixteen they rammed in two
fast goals and wore just about
giving Forum coach Chuck 1VT' 1'-
man heart failure when llie-'anr'
ended.
■ Forum used four players
wore over the age limit
a  few of their juniors quit
'l'lu
u ho
alter
alter a row with Coach Milhnan.
Chuck said thai, ho could no!
conlrol the boys and until they
are willing to listen to liiirt they
will not be playing Iheir liockey
lor Forum. Forum vs ill, how
ever, return to a completely
junior team in lime to be eligible  I'm- (he  playoffs.
'Birds played Kerne-; tonight
al !NI!> at the Arena ..nd will •>"
11';, in;; |o break their |o-ong
ol leak   at   three   gaule  ,
This is the last issue of 1953, so we would like to extend
GREETINGS OF THE HOLIDAY SEASON:
To Coco Taylor, who like Old Man River just keeps gurgling
along . . . To Dick Penn, a helluva nice guy ... To the BEG
Games Pool Committee, thank you ... To Bob Brady, who,
the crew and in three months t|ie Evergreen Conference found out, was an all-star this year,
turned them into one of the best Wc coulcl havp told tnem that jast year ... To Doug Kyle, who
crews on the Continent     They ^ smmcl      thp w   races feut who comes firgt Jn Qw
travelled   to  California   for  th" to ° ,
bte regatta, the unknown team 'books ... To the Vancouver Sun, who wouldn t print a
from the unknown University of story if UBC got a bid to the Rose Bowl ... To George Puil,
British Columbia, and just lost who became an Irishman so fast our heads are still spinning
to the  mighty  California  eight T() D(m Coryell, who proved that UBC can turn out football
by   three  seconds.   When   .hey   u,ams as wt,,, as s(.ho|.u.s , , . To A]bert Laithwaite, who last
returned   home   UBC   was    no . • __,    i_ u  _  ,l-
, .      . ,(    ;,   spring filled the World Cup with champagne but  this spring
longer    unknown and, what    is    *      *> --,--. ~, ,,     .   ,     .
more important, they had earned will have to till it with tears ... To Danny Oliver, Who is having
the respect of everyone who saw as much tun beating UBC this year as he had winning for
the race. her last year . . . To Jack Pomfret, and may his opponents
Think what coach Read could   h()()p ,)C kepl full ()f basketballs . . .
have done  if  he had had turn- T<j j,^,^ N(jmi       wh() Cfm come and soak hig head -n 0UJ.
out of athletes who arc in    oi A ,     *   i     i i m   ,u   r\      *    u    i   r-o   t   t     j   •
shape like Don Coryell or Jack 1,()0' an-v limc ho likes • • To the Quarterback Club, for dotrv^
Pomfret gets. An average of a job thai they shouldn't have to do—providing a training table
twenty men turn out for rowing and football boots for the football team ... To Dick Mitchell,
each year a/id most of them are   W|H) ;s \iV>,i as busy as a gander in the mating season coaching
football linos and then hockey lines ... To Dr. MacKenzie,
without whose kickoff the football season would never gel.
under way ... To John McLeod, who had a good season las^
year and appears headed for a great one this year . . . To John
Russell, who is always seeded second in the gold tournament
but always manages lo end up with the trophy ... To Johnny
Owen, without whose liniment there would be an awful lot
of still athletes on Ihe campus . . . To Brian Upson, the small
guy with the big brain on the basketball team . . .
To Bus Phillips, the new, and for our money, the best
Alhlelie Director this University has ever had ... To Bi!!
Siiiar!, a big boquol of roses for giving his all on the gridiron
for the last lour years . . . To Dick Matthews, who is never
too busy io help a University team out ... To Doug Whittle,
who in a lew years will bo coaching UBC's only entry in the
Pacific Coasl Conference ... To Jack Hutchinson, one of the
Prairie have sent to British Columbia . . .
in poor shape.
But this year things are going
to be dil'fereni.
Willi an eye on representing
Canada in the B.F. Games and
bringing an untold amount of
oadly needed publicity to Ihe
University every coach is go,ng
lo recruit the outstanding athletes on tiie campus lor coach
Head.
It. is no dream to say tha!
.■ome .July every Canadian will
oi' cheerin-', as the UHC' crew
. tosses the finish line fii-.-.I in
:be  international  race.
APPLICATIONS NOW
ACCEPTED FOR CREW
Bus Phillips is now receiving applioal ions of all i hose
who wan! to Iry out for the
UIH'  rowing  team.
The leaill W ill l nmpete in
! he New porl bVgal la in ('a li -
lorn ia and I lie !>K < lame-;
trials ". SI Catherines. Ont.
If thev win Iho trials they
vv i II represent ('anada in I lie
I'ro i.-. 11 Kiupire (lames in V.u:
Mill Ver in .1 ills .
good items thai  Ihe
To Frank Road, ihe forgotten rowing coach who handles UP>C's
only  big  lime sport  .  .  . To  the Swanson  brothers  and  Bud
Dobson, with no particular reason for that grouping . . .
To all  Ihe team  managers, who work jusl  as hard  as tho
pla.wT:-, bul   receive no credit  .  .  . To Jelly Andersen who wo
hear is co.iohiii'; the Podunk Valley girls' volleyball team--
ihe girls are all en .scholarships too . . . To Barney Powers, if
everybody had half ihe guls he has Ihe 'Birds would never 1om«
a   e;,nii    .
And   Ial   bul   not   least   lo  all   llmse   who   like
..ill ol  u... on  f i io o port'j pa<;e.
The world's
finest tobaccos
apipe
-"Walter Raleigh
MILD
BURLUY
TOBACCO
at its
best.,.
When you pause...make it count...have a Colo
the most pleasing
cigarette
you can smoke!
MttJIng fidtnl furM
"Colo" It « f gl«t>f d trademark.
coca-colajn^
art in
1.
i HERE'S HOW FLEET FOOT SHOES
t ' »*fcj»i*«j||*        #..   ■   .«. *jt -*Av
PROTECT AND SUPPORT 3_WAY$
Fleet foot's Famous Arch-Cushion}
with cushion heel and shockproof "V
insole, provides complete scientific)
protection and support for active fect;f*"^
©CUSHIONS
METATARSAL
ARCH
© SUPPORTS
LONGITUDINAL
ARCH
©ABSORBS
HEEL
SHOCKS
ports   irniM
'BASKETBALL
Suction-grip   (>ut*ole,   imou
lo«,    Arch-Cut hion    »»otun
Men'9 liioi   Black
THE WASHABLE SHOES

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