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The Ubyssey Jan 12, 1937

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 /^
Today: Auditorium
12.20, Laagua of
Nations Debate,
Sadgwick vs. Angus
Published Twice Weekly by the    Publications Board of theUniversity of British Columbia
Vol. XIV
VANCOUVER, B. C, TUESDAY, JANUARY 12, 1937
No. 22
'ROBIN HOOD' CAST NAMED;
CALLUM THOMPSON IN LEAD
Will* Elliot
To Play Maid Marian
When opening night arrives on
February 18th for the Musioal Society's operatic production, Robin
Hood, there will be an experienced
cast of players answering to tha
baton of C. Haydn Williams, conductor. Many of these players are
already proven leads of former
loads.
OtUmA MINDBD
Everyday the members of the Sooiety aro becoming more and more
opera minded. If anyone could have
aeon tho interest evinced in the
Metropolitan Opera production. Oar*
men, on Saturday afternoon they
would havo agreed tbat it augerod
well for tho production of their own
opera. Bill Cameron, tho president,
was the owner of tho radio over
which the opera was very well received. However, unfortunately,
thoy were disturbed by a oall to
tholr own opera. Mr. E. V. Young,
tho dramatic director, took tho cast
through tho flrst act.
Since this act is very complicated
it involves considerable work on the
part of the chorus and principles.
Leading the principles in the title
role is Callum Thompson with the
romantic lead. Callum appeared in
tho Society's production of the Mikado ln a similar role as Nan-Klpoo.
Tho score gives Callum an abundant opportunity to display his fine
tenor voice.
Tho lyric soprano voice of Wills
Elliot wll lbs heard in the opposite
role of Maid Marian. Willa oomes
from the interior of B. C. and once
waa a member of the chorus of the
Garden of tho Shah.
The cultured voice of Kay Patterson will be heard in the other leading soprano role as Annabel. Kay
has had operatic experience in Toronto.
CONTRALTO
Playing opposite her and theoretically a boy, but written into the
soore as a contralto, is Marjorie
Thompson as Allan a Dale. Mar-
jorie's voice is full and rich and will
form a splendid contrast to the
other feminine leads. There were
some knotty problems concerned
with the choosing of Allan a Dale,
most of which wero tho finding of
a suitable voice in a young woman
who could, with a little imagination,
be taken for a boy.
Ono of the other contestants for
a part, Jean Walton, was chosen to,
be Dame Durden, tho rather
straight-laced mother of Annabel.
James Curie, as tho bass lead of
Will Scarlet, will impress tho audi,
ence by his ability to roach tho lower notes.
P-BATURK
In the leading tenor role of Sir
Guy is Tatsuo Sanmiya. His pleasing tenor voice is expected to be a
feature of the performance. Taking
the parts of Little John and the
SherrifT of Nottingham are Lewis
Freeman and Gordon Heron, who
are the possessors of excellent baritone voices.
Bill Cameron will assume the
comical role of the portly Friar
Tuck. Bill's only fault is that he
isn't portly. Kay Washinton, the
production manager ia 'worrying
about whether it will be cheaper to
fatten Bill up for the part or stuff
him with feathers. So far nothing
has been decided.
Sucoeasful members of the chorus
are: Sopranos — Carter, Butler,
Barss, Muttart, Shone, Owens,
Chutter, Forst, Eedy and Nuttall.
The altos include McLeod, Busby,
Campbell, Morris, Brooks, McKel-
ler, McEwen, Baker and Twias.
Among the tenors are Ford, White-
hurst, Dixan, Butler, Wilcox, Robertson, Moyls, Fulton and Hind.
Baritones and Basses are Butler,
Rush, Patch, Wood, McLellan, Baker and Lightall.
Debater
CourteeytoS Artona
ALIX. MacDONALD
Alex. MacDonald, who is leaving
today with Len Martin, to carry
U. B. C.'s McGowan Cup offensive to other universities of
Western Canada. On all occasions they will advocate increased Canadian contribution
to Imperial defence.
DE   RIDDER
INITIAL
LECTURE
Elsja da Riddar Will
Assist Wadnasday
Afternoon
THE first leoture on music
by Allard de Ridder will
be given tomorrow (Wednesday) ln the Auditorium at
3.30 p.m. Mr. Ridder wll] be
assisted by Elsje de Ridder at
the piano and by a quartette
composed of members of the
Musioal Society.
It Is hoped that a large number
of students will respond to this
opportunity of learning something
about the background and meaning
ot muslo. The leotures do not presuppose any musioal knowledge and
aro arranged Just aa muoh tor the
layman aa for the musician.
Tbo lectures will be approximate-
lyly one hour in length and will
be amply Illustrated throughout.
At the first leoture reference will
be made to the Jewish Ritual, the
Gregorian Chant, Church Hymns,
Madrigals, Old Bnglish Songs and
Bach Chorals.
No charge will be made. Anyone Interested is Invited to attend.
Speech  Specialist
To Lecture Here
Directing a new activity whose
interest is becoming more and moro
general on the campus, Miss Marjorie Gullan, lecturer In Speech
Training at the University of London Institute of Education, arrives
shortly in Vancouver with a i*. *nre
course of interest to many voidur-
trrads.
Miss Gullan's pioneer work in
choral speech training enA iu the
making of verse speaking .i.oiva is
today being reco_->ised throughout
the -English-speaking world.
Her methods of speech training
are being studied and put into effect in the sohool programmes of
England and into some of the provincial and state educational programmes of Canada and tho U.S.A.
Some of our modern poets have
been inspired to write poems for
her especial use. Masefleld's "Cargoes" was written for a verso-
speaking choir, and T. S. Eliot's
"Murder in the Cathedral," with its
chorus of the women of Canterbury,
probably was inspired by her work.
Miss Gullan's visit to Vancouver
should be an inspiration to all lovers of poetr?, to those Interested In
the theatre and to all who are engaged in teaching spoken English
She will be in Vanoouver the
week of January 18-23, and during
that time will give a Teachers'
Demonstration class, a public lecture and two courses In speech
training and choral verse speaking,
the one for junior grades and the
yther for senior work.
Teachers' Demonstration: Jan. 18,
8 p.m., King Edward High School
Auditorium.
Public   Lecture:   Jan.   19,   8   p.m.,
King* Edward High School Auditorium.
Junior Course:  Jan. 20, 4.15 p.m.
Jan. 23, 9 a.m.
Senior Course: Jan. 20-22, 8 p.m.,
Jan.   23,   10.30  a.m.,  Vancouver
Art Gallery.
The fee tor either course is f 3.50,
or $1.00 for single lectures.
Registration for the courses may
be made through the secretary of
the Players' Club.
Nao-Clasticism
At Art Club
The Art Olub will meet at tho
home of Mr. Jack Shadbolt, 4716
West Fourth Avenue, on Wednesday, January 1B, at 8.00 p.m. Neo-
classicism will bo discussed.
Anniversary Book
For Grad Class
Copies ef the University Anniversary Blook will be distributed by tha Regletrar'a Office
to membera of the Graduating
Claaa In all Paeultlee from
January 12 to 10. Thla notice
will not apply to etudente who
already poaaeaa ooplea.
Aggie Prof.
Sleeps In Stacks
A siren-like sound disturbed the
stacks. Hastily a Senior plugged
her ears. It was Just the fourth
day after returning to the academic
institution and the New Tear's
resolutions were still in effect.
The sound persisted. It had now
obtained  a  persuasive  quality.
With reckless air the ardent
student cast aside all resolves, and
tip-toed cautiously past the cell
from whence came the inviting
murmur.
Horrors — an Aggie professor
snoring!
Prof. Gage Speaks For
Astronomical Society
A msstlng of the Royal Aetron-
omloal Sooiety of Cansds, Vancouver Oentre, will be held In Soience
200, Tuesday, January 12, at 8.16
p.m. Ths speaker will be Prof. W.
H. Oaga snd the subject, "Star
Olustsrs and Nebulae."
History's Hottest
Hijinks Held
Mala Crashes Mat
No Mercy
In a gorgeous riot of colour, hilarity and humour, Hi Jinx, annual
and private celebration of the U. B.
C. co-eds, was a great success Monday night, with about 200 appropriately gowned damsels present.
What with freaks, tea-cup readers
dressed in Oriental and Hindu costumes, coloured balloons, streamers,
cheer-leaders, booths, slot machines,
refreshments consisting of punch,
coffee, cake and sandwiches, and
dramatic entertainment, the gymnasium had undergone a startling
transformation, and was a very
creditable circus.
The principal entertainment took
the form of skits arranged by the
vice-presidents of the various
classes. Mary Covernton, representee of Arts '40, directed a, series
of attractive "Scenes from tho
Family Album." "Shadow Play: an
operation," was the intriguing title
ot the play presented by Arts '89
under the direction of Miriam Cos-
ens. Beverley Cunningham, Arts
'88, put on "Hens the Home-Breaker,"' a triangle story with a surprise
ending. Arts '87 presented a farce
titled "Television/' Innocently purporting to be a television broadcast
of the costumes present.
Some of these costumes were particularly ingenious. Audrey Horwood appeared as a Hungarian
peasant, in a turquoise blue skirt
with a red organdie apron. Madge
Neill was an Indian girl, Minee-ha-
ha to be exact. Beth Evans, an
uproariously funny clown, stood on
her head during the course of tho
evening and performed many other
difficult feats.
Miriam Cosens wore a beautiful
Swedish costume, consisting of
black skirt, coloured shawl and
scarlet blouse. Betty Street was an*
Egyptian mummy, enveloped in
sheets, with only eyes and mouth
showing.
Four co-eds combined resources
and appeared as a walking comic
strip. Betty Leslie was Sweet Pea,
Anna Root, Wimpy; Jeanette
Brown the great Pop-Eye, and Sheila Bebb, Olive Oil.
NORAH GIBSON TELLS OF
HOLLYWOOD HOLIDAY
 By MONTY FOTHERINOHAM	
Rubbing shoulders with beautiful Anita Louise, watch-
Ins the glamorous Bette Davis at work, visiting Warner
Bros, and dining ln their exclusive "Green Room,"—such
were some of the highlights of an exciting holiday spent ln
California recently by Nora Gibson, president of the Players'
Olub
Such famous places as the Brown
Derby and tho El Dorado in Palm
Springs were visited by Norah,
who brings baok some pertinent
and very Interesting accounts of
first-hand encounters with the
stars.
PREMIERE
Leaving Vancouver December 9,
she motored down to San Francisco,
where she saw the premiere of the
New York stage success, "Boy
Meets Girl." From here she went
to Pasadena and it was whilst at
this city that she visited Warner
Bros*, lot at Burbanks. Through
some magical process, she was also
privileged to dine in the "Green
Room," ordinarily reserved only for
stars and directors, and here she
saw people famous in the movie
world.
FALSE EYELASHES
"To the left of me, Joan Blondell
was drinking some terrible looking
concoction. She is vory petite, and
much slimmer than she looks in her
pictures. She was in make-up, giving rather a sun-tan effect, and she
had terrific false eyelashes. However, I didn't get a very good look
at her as she seemed to resent being
stared at. I just couldn't help
watching Anita Louise, though, for
she is even more beautiful in life
than she is on the screen, and her
blonde hair is simply gorgeous. She
waa surrounded with men, directors,
writers and other actors—and as
she talked, she kept giving little
tosses of her head. Errol Flynn
was there, too, and he came over
and talked to Anita Louise for a
short time. I saw Hugh Herbert
eating there. He had juat been introduced to some ladies, and waa
giggling and cutting up exactly
like he does in his pictures."
MONOTONY
She had the fortune to be shown
around the lot, and saw several sets
used In recent pictures. She
glimpsed Bette Davis doing several
shots from the "Marked Woman,"
and aa a result decided there would
be more monotony than glamour to
movie work. Miss Davis would sit
under the Kliegs and repeat a few
words .then would wait while the
lights were adjusted, before she returned to repeat the same words.
This one scene was shot a number
of times.
On another set, Pat O'Brien and
Henry Fonda were up a pole, and
Stu Erwin was pitching horseshoes.
Norah Gibson's dominant impression of the lot was that everybody
was waiting. Stars and stagehands alike waited, and extras in
heavy make-up and costumes waited, broiling under the sun. She was
also impressed with the marvellous
beauty ot the extras, who seemed
to possess perfect figures.
Although she had dinner at the
Brown Derby, she had to content
herself with looking at the famous
cartoons on the walls, as none of
the celebrities appeared.
From Hollywood she went to
Palm Springs for a short stay, but
though several of the stars were
staying there, sho did not see any
of them. Eddie Cantor, Shirley
Temple and Arline Judge were holidaying there. Robert Taylor was
alao there, at the El Dorado, but
Norah did not manage to see him,
though she wandered through the
luxuriant gardens for a time.
California sunshine is not all it
is advertised to be, she found, for
it rained heavily most of the time.
In San Francisco it poured so heavily that her party was formed to
take a taxi to the Grauman's Chinese Theatre, only six blocks away.
Weather wae altogether different
at Palm Springs, where the days
were very hot, and the nights were
"cold, clear and gorgeous."
BLONDE,   BRUNETTE   OR
REDHEAD   FOR   OUEEN ?
On Prom Committee
Court*** mf Abar
BEVERLEY CUNNINGHAM
Beverley Cunningham, vice -
president of Arts '38, who is
busying her slight self with
glowing plans for the Junior
Prom of January 28. Malcolm
Brown, Helen Crosby, Ron Andrews, Mary Craig, Dave Lewis
and John Bird, all of the '38
executive, are likewise concerned.
Faculties  Are
Skittith  And
Recalcitrant
Checkups on senior class layouts
now in process divulge interesting
statistics on the reliability of the
various faculties in being photographed, or "mugged." Science and
Agriculture, steeped in the faculty
spirit, have obliged in toto. Commerce ia skittish and spasmodic, but
tends to get there. But Arts—ah,
Arts, numerically and proportionally, ls most recalcitrant and least
co-operative.
This is important: The Seniors
listed below, in Commerce and
Arts, are asked to call promptly
at tho Publications Office, and
indicate whether or not they aro
going to havo a picture taken.
The Totem staff must know ono
way or the other immediately.
COMMERCE: STAN COPP,
__ELEN DAWE, NORMAN MARIN, MARGARET PORTER.
ARTS: JEAN BALFOUR,
RALPH BELL, HUGH FARQU-
HAR, FLORENCE GARRISON,
DOUG SCOTT, JOSEPH TERRY,
MARY WARDEN, ROSCOE WILLIAMS.
NOTIOat
Tbe next meeting of the International Relations Club will be held
at the home of Mrs. F. W. Smelts,
2445 West 6th Avenue, on January
14. Dr. Sage will speak on the British Cabinet, and the annual eleotion
of officers will take plaoe. Members are requested to notice that
the meeting will be on Thursday,
not Wednesday, as usual.
Monkeys Smarter Than
Physics Class
Physics 2 students were startled
out of their lethargic sombulance
a little while ago hy the sudden
excursion, on the part of their
learned guide and mentor, Dr. G.
Shrum, into the realm of practical
mathematics.
It seems that all tbe monkeys in
Africa could do better than his Physics 2 class. For says the sage, the
probability of a student answering
a question correctly if he does not
know his subject is very remote.
In comparison, he claims that if
one of our tree-climbing ancestors
of the dark continent were placed
before a typewriter h would, in the
course of his numerous clappings
on the keys, spell out a perfectly
authentic word. Similarly, If all
the apes from Africa were placed
oeiore machines lt is also possible
that they might write the Bncy-
lopoedla   Brltannlca.
Evidently, from the nature of
some of the
Browns Offers Option
Of Colors For
Juniors
Blonde, brunette, or redhead?
The undying persistence of this
problem will achieve something of
a solution on the night ot January
28. The solution will be personified in the elegant shape of some
one Junior co-ed who will preside
as Queen over the festivities of
the annual Junior prom, held probably at the Spanish Grill of Hotel
Vancouver.
The Prom Queen, to be constitutionally elected, by popular vote
from among the belles of the class
of '38, is a new and exotic feature.
Her selection is a diplomatic problem, but Prevy Malcolm Brown of
the Junior class, his brown eyes
shining with boyish enthusiasm,
has found the solution.
Thursday next at 12.20, Arts '88
will assemble in Arts 100. There
will be nominations, trom the floor,
of several eligible female Juniors.
These will bo voted on at the
meeting, and of them will bo elected one co-ed of eaoh complexion
type. Tho elected trio will endeavor to retain Its poise throughout
the week while a tioket ballot, using numbered stubs of dance-sale
tickets, will determine tbe pro torn
sovereign, bo she flaxen-haired,
dark, or tltlan.
"Personalities do not enter." Mr.
Brown stated with solid conviction.
"The Interest and enthusiasm of
the Junior Glass aro the only factors Involved. With tbe Grill and
Mart Kenney and a plate supper
and tickets at $8.60 tho couple,
and a gorgeous Junior Queen, our
party cannot help but be a rousing
success."
January 28 Is tbe date.
BLUNDERBUS
GROANS-NO
SARDIS TRIP
Faithful Practice; High
Spirits All to No Avail;
Pocketbooks Fattened
"On to Sardis" was the cry of the
Intermediate A girls, tho Intermediate A and Senior B boys all last
week on tbe campus. Bob Scott,
chief representative of that thriving town at this Institute of learning, had arranged the trip for the
teams and tho town had advertised
the event far and wide. Alllster
Grant, Inter. A manager, wore out
two pairs of shoes and a perfectly
good set ot nerves in his endeavors
to obtain transportation, only to
meet with failure at every turn.
Finally the gods of basketball
seemed to relent, for up camo a
true patriot to tbe cause in the
person of one Mr. Nesbltt, who
glibly announced that he had one
Buick car fully thirty feet In length
which he said was at the disposal
of the boys.
Came Friday and the Intermediate A boys clambered onto the very
large Buick. Conversation flowed
easily, cigarettes were consumed in
countless numbers, and all in all
hilarity and rotten puns reigned
supreme. Going along Fourth Avenue in the direction of Granville
Street, it happened, or rather nothing happened—the car stopped. Out
piled the boys and begged the vehicle to repeat and move but It was
all to no avail—It refused to budge.
Physical force was applied, blasphemous phrases fairly seared the
paint but it would not move. However spirits were too high to he
stopped even by this and leaving
Scotty to carry on his tirades
against tbe car himself the boys
went to a show.
Important — Fourth
Year Science
Josted on tbe west-downstairs
notice board 1b a list of Juniors in
Science, checked off for those
whose pictures for the Totem have
been made. Others are asked to
mark on the Hat whether or not
they intend to have their pictures
appear with the class of '88 ln the
Totem.
For pictures, go to Aber, Medical-Dental Building, this week. This
is tho last week pictures will be
taken. No appointment la necessary.
Claaa President Gordon Snelling,
thla meana you. Two
T H
U B
THE   UBYSSEY
EDITOR IN CHIEF
ZOE BROWNE-CLAYTON
SENIOR IDITORS
TUESDAY: Kemp Edmonds FRIDAY: Dorwin Baird
SPORTS IDITOR
Dick Elson
ASSOCIATI IDITORS ASSOCIATI SPORTS IDITORS
Ken Grant       Dorothy Cummings Frank Perry    Frank Tumor
__s_________s________________
Subscription Rates for Ubyssey:
Student rate, $1.00 per year. Rate for non-students, $1.50 per yaar.
Advertising Office
Pacific Publishers, Limited, 311 Province Building, Victory Square, Vancouver, B. C.
Telephone:  TRINITY 1945
Advertising Staff:  Charles H. Munro, Howard D. Fletcher
All advertising handled exclusively by Pacific Publishers, Limited.
A FORWARD POLICY
The de Ridder lectures, which commence Wednesday,
are one of the major contributions of the Musical Society
to the cultural life of the campus. For five weeks, the distinguished conductor of the Vancouver Symphony Orchestra
will, In his own pleasing style, outline the development of
vocal music.
The Musical Society has stepped out ln the last few
years, and Is beginning to make its influence felt. No longer
does the society rely solely on the spring production. Realising that student life needs the relaxation and satisfaction
brought about by good music, our Musical Society has set
itself to the task of filling that need.
The're is no need for the Ubyssey to urge support of the
coming lecture series. Following last year's example, we
can expect large crowds at every Wednesday gathering. We
desire, in this editorial, to congratulate the Musioal Sooiety
upon their pursuance of a policy that brings an understanding of music and its forms closer to the ordinary student.
FRATERNITIES—TO THE RU8HEE8
Now that rushing is over the fraternities that want you
have given you a bid, and a period of two days ensues in
which fraternity members are forbidden to speak to you.
Durng this time you must determine which way to go or
whether to Join any fraternity at all. Here, unbiased as
we oan make it, ls the issue.
You have Juat been rushed and have in all probability
enjoyed it Immensely. You will feel grateful, of course, but
you should not feel under any obligation after it; for the
same attention is bestowed on all rushees year after year
as a matter of course. Do not suppose that you will be
treated with such flattering and aggressive fraternity after
you Join: you will be on the other side of the fence then.
Whatever has been expended on you in attention and money
now, you will be expected to bestow on the rushees of next
term, and the term after, and so on, twice a year as long as
you are ln college.
Many fraternities will tell you that they themselves
consider the rushing system an evil. This ls a salutary attitude—only they will offer no workable substitution. Some
fraternities concentrate almost their whole energy iu this
perpetuating themselves, and so their true function is forgotten.
Nominally the chief virtue of fraternities is friendship.
That ls a fine deal, but unhappily while fraternities will help
your cultivating friendships in one group they will tend to
alienate you from other groups. This ls particularly true in
the case of close, personal friendships, unless your friend is
also bid.
Actually, the chief virtue of fraternities is two-fold: they
offer an attractive substitute for home life to the out-of-
town student, If he is able to board at the flrst house; and
also, they provide you with a good means of working a few
mote dances and such into your college year, if you have
the money and inclination.
As far as money goes, expenses vary considerably with
the different groups. Pockets and ideas of value differ too
widely for us to oomment here: this must be your own
concern—but a word of warning: do not be led to believe
that the expenditure required by joining a fraternity ends
with the initiation fees; you will come in Indirectly for quite
a bit extra through your affiliation.
To those of you who are not keen on joining, rest assured that there's no stigma attaohed to remaining independent. Fraternities are not a social necessity as they may
be in the States. There are many other clubs on the campus
to engage you otherwise, if you so wish.
To those of you who want to Join a fraternity, we would
stress the supreme importance ot joining the right one.
The right one is not that which has rushed you most luxuriously or insistently, but the fraternity whose members you
think you like best. Whatever your choice, be sure not
to let your better judgment be overwhelmed by the attentions paid you during rushing.
RETURN OF THE MU8E
Maybe it is the new calendar on the Pub wall giving
people spring fever already, or maybe lt was last week's
"Literary Page" sponsored by the Letters Club, but in any
case a Renaissance is afoot among the local scribes. The
result ls on Page Three, dedicated to Mr. Butterfleld for his
kindly comments on last week's efforts. We hope that he
will find something more to his taste in today's issue.
Caf Love
Oodleated te the Oloeest  Waitress
I wandered lonely 'mong a crowd
Of noisy loafers,  chattering loud
When all at once I saw there—
The damsel with the auburn hair.
She burst upon my eager eyes
Alone  amid a  dozen  pies,
Shimmering   and   shaking   in   the
breese.
It made me feel weak in the knees.
I told her she was my ideal,
I told her how she made me feel.
I    knelt    and    murmured    of    my
passion,
While she into her mouth put hash
ln.
I used to  think I had a line,
And so I crooned "Sweet Adeline";
But   dam   that   waitress,   Satan's
daughter-
She   brought   me   up   a   glass   of
water.
She made me feel so darn ridiculous
But showed me that a woman
tickle is.
Alas, I'll see her no more there,
That damsel with the auburn hair.
Psychology Club, speolal meeting
12.30, Wednesday, In Arta 103.
WE demand recognition.
Angry at the shabby treatment we have received, we, the
campus representatives ot Vancouver papers, have formed a new
union with strict regulations. Introducing the U.B.C.U.A.U.H.V.P.
(Local No. 1). In other words, the
University of British Columbia Union of Affiliated University Reporters for Vancouver Papers.
Believe it or not, this budding
group can boast a membership of
eight flrat-claaa journalists. In all
seriousness, the whole idea behind
the move on our part is to unite for
our own protection. It happens
that all eight of us earn a living by
keeping the local public informed of
Varsity doings. We get paid according to the work we do, so that when
a campus group sends a publicity
agent downtown like like one tuneful organisation did recently, our
dander is up, plenty
The pivot point for all campus
news is the Ubyssey office. If you
are going to bite a dog, send us a
message to that effect and you'll
And yourself on the front page of
mvmvy journal in Canada, for the
work of the U.B.C.U.A.R.V.P. is
printed far and wide. (Witness the
recent story of co-eds beauty cost,
done by Comrade Morley.)
Election of officers will be held
soon, and then the UBCUARVP
will et off to a good start. In the
meantime, remember our slogan)
"If it's worth printing, the boys will
get it printed. Support organised
reporters, use the UBCUARVP."
•        *        •
BLUE Monday.
Moving from the Friday to
the Tuesday issue makes this particular columnist an earnest advo-
vate of calendar reform. Of all the
rotton days upon which to work,
the first one after the Day of Rest
is the worst. Everybody feels low,
and the lowest of these is . . . me.
It seems that I was very wrong in
everything that I wrote last Friday
First, the Thetas have informed
me, in a remarkably restrained
note, that their raffle was hold at
the Alumni Dance on December 29.
I'm sorry, girls, but I'm still sore
hat I didn't win. But then, you
know these raffles, "Abandon hope
all ye that buy these ducats." Next,
Kay McKay doesn't like to be likened to Arlene Harris, Jay says
Council is doing plenty only I would
not appreciate it, angry young
Liberals deny that Jolson and Mc-
Geer look alike, and to cap it all my
movie selections drew sneers from
pub critics.
With the exception of the raffle,
I stand my ground.
• * *
ALTHOUGH I'm a firm believer
in lettin people live tholr own
lives, ocassionally there comes to
light a story that is so disgusting
that normal people refuse to accept
its verity.
Take the case of a freshette who
was forced to drop university at
Christmas because of low scholarship. Nothing wrong there, but
when that same young lady continues to deceive her family into
thinking that she still attends
Varaity, and when she leaves home
daily for the campus, but never
gets here, then I would firmly advocate that she be taken over a
parental knee and roundly spanked.
Almost as bad as the chap who
still goes to C.O.T.C, even if he
quit Varsity last spring.
* *        * .
AND so to a feeble end.
Word has reached these ears
that Council and the Junior Executive are having a great struggle
over the matter of a Prom Queen.
In the minds of some higher-ups,
the election of a queen to bally-hoo
the Prom is desecration, American,
and generally low.
American colleges, even the least
of them, stage Proms that would
make even the Arts Ball committee
blush with envy. Publicity, plenty
of shouting and nonsense, are used
to put these super dances over.
Why not encourage a little of such
publicity, Mr. Gould, and sse if we
can't keep our social functions out
of the red until your Pass System
completes its slow passage through
officialdom *f
NOTIOB
Oen. Sir James MacBrlen, O.S.O.,
the Commissioner of the R.C.M.P.
trom Ottawa, will give an address
on the work of the Mounted Police,
Tuesday, January 12, at 12.15, in
App.  Science 100.
During the war, he was in command ot the Seaforths and the
other military units from Vanoouver. Later he joined the R.Q.M.F.
of which he is now the Dominion
Commissioner. In June 3rd, 1986,
he waa knighted by the late King
Oeorge V.
All students interested are cordially invited to attend.
Y S S
_____■
E Y
Lend Me Your Ears
By BOB BOUOHKTTB
What This Country Needs
Is a Real National
Characteristic
I waa ln hi. little atore buying
»omo elgarettea.
He brightened up considerably.
"Say," he said, "are you from the Old
Country? Moat Canadians pronounce
that brand with the accent on the
laat  syllable,"
"No, I'm a. Canadian." I aald.
Of course, he la a Londoner. Take
one look at him, at hla bristly moustache, at hla eyes, at the cap on his
head.
Hear him apeak and you cannot
mistake hla origin. He la from London and no other part of the world
could  have  produced  him.
Cockney
The next time I waa In hla store-
It waa for some mutches thla time—
he aald, proudly:
"Vou know, I used to be In Fleet
Street myself. Never In the newspaper business though? Juat worked
for a. printer ln Chancery Lane.
Worked for him for yeara."
He alghed. "Then 1 came out to thla
country. I'm sort of sorry I did although  it's a. fine country."
He sighed deeply again.
"Don't you wlah you could go back
home?" he aald. "Clo back home to
where you can hear the Bow Bella?"
"But that'a not my home," I aald
"I'm a. Canadian. Several generations
of me born In Canada."
"I keep forgetting that," he aald.
"It must be your accent. You know,
sometimes I think you're English and
sometimes I think your Amerloan.
And maybe there's a trace of French
ln It, too."
"There's the trouble," I aald. "We
are auch an amorphous race that nobody can definitely place us. We are
ao many thlnga that we are nothing."
Races
And on the same day I met an
Italian, resident In thla country for
SB yeara; a Swede, living in Canada
for SO years; a Frenchman, a Chlneae
and a Japaneae.
They all. the moment I met them,
registered their nationality upon my
consciousness. I knew who they were
and to what raoe they belonged.
There waa aomethlng that stamped
them.
I conclude from these meetlnga
that the woeful lack In thla country
Is a national characteristic. We simply do not stand out an Canadians—
as an Englishman, or as an Irishman,
or oa an Italian stands out aa a
member of hla own race—becauae we
do not think In  terms of Canada.
Either we pack ourselves into little
provincial compartments, like Quebec,
or Ontario, or the Maritime provinces,
or we go to the other extreme and
lose our own Individuality ln the
broad  term,  "British."
We happen to be Britiah subjects,
of course, but as long as we keep
thinking predominantly of the British
phaae of thla situation we shall never
achieve   nationhood.
We shall always remain the tag-
end, the lesser half ln a rather doubtful  whole.
Leader?
I believe that the higher intelligence will eventually bring the world
to an Internationalism, an understanding of hu.-nanlty an an Integral thing.
But hefore we can roach Internationalism, the ideal, we must be a
national. Just as before we can be
helpful and generous to outsiders we
must be helpful and generous to the
members  of  our  own  family.
Vou have heard of the street angel
and the borne devil, the man who
makes a good fellow of himself out-
aide the walla of hla own domicile,
but allows hla family to suffer for
lt.
We are atreet angels on a. wholesale
and national scale. We concern ourselves with our own individual interests, but we are not really lntereated
in the welfare of the nation aa a
whole.
I think that a political leader who
Instituted a truly Canadian policy
could sweep the oountry. I think that
Canada is about ready for the arrival
of such a leader.
If he comes, he unquestionably will
have the aupport ot. at least, this department,
Mat* you see that Bob aouohette
has taken np the lasue of Oanedlan-
lam and Us platform isn't vary (a*
away taaan the centimes* la OaaaSlan
Valvefsttlea, aununaslsea ta Vbyeeey
last week. Wo see whether er aet he
follows up this promising le*A you'd
better reea hla column la tho Tan-
oouver Ban regularly. BeUvereA If
you phono tMnity 4111.
Orchard at
Alberta Not
A Policeman
By OLBM L. KINO
UNIVERSITY OP ALBERTA,
Bdmonton, Jan. 7 (W.I.P.U.) —
Baok of the resldsnoos on ths
Unlveralty Campus Is a plot of
ground ssvsn or eight acres In extent that Is surrounded by a high
wire fenoo. During the winter
months this little plot prosonta
rathar a drsary aapoet to the ob-
aerver, but ellghtly over four
months from now this will be a
mass of bloom, rivalling the orchards of British Columbia. This
is ths University orchard, run
under the direction of Or. J. S.
Shoemaker. Last yesr over 76
different vsrlotloe of fruit were
harveated from thla little plot.
Applas ara ths main produot,
while plume have boon grown
with considerable aueeess, and
asveral new varieties of straw-
berrlaa have' boon developed
there. Development ef new varl-
tlaa and the aoollmltlaatlon of old
onea may In tha near future make
fruit production In Alberta a real
poaalblllty.
Tuesday, January 12, 1937
"Let aaa larva your ear, and your ear will larva yew."
"FRANK" FICKB
U.B.C. 8ERVI0E 8TATI0N
24-Hour Imargancy Service — Complete Repair ■acllltlss
END OP McGILL ROAD MT. QREY 53
"What do you ..colly play for?"
"Fun—and my ho»»'» Sweet Capt I"
SWEET CAPORAL CIGARETTES
'Tha purait form In which tobacco con ba *mohad."—jQanc*t
t
S.M.U.S.
Well, the flrst edition ot S. M.
U. B. Is here, (by the same smus-
ter). Sorry to say tbat some of
the sang got the axe, but glad to
see most of them baok and raring
to go. I got a hunch that we will
have to gtve the old Science Push
behind a couple more Science
events before the year ls over.
Which by the way reminds me that,
the Science Ball is to be held Feb.
11 at the Commodore. And which
also reminds me of a little poem.
There is the tender love of a beautiful maid,
The love of a brave, atrong man,
The Innocent love for a little babe,
We've alt known since the world
began.
But the greatest of loves, The love
of loves,
Far greater than that of a mother,
Is   the  tender,  Infinite,  passionate
love
Of one dead drunk for another.
Today in Ap. Sc. 100, the U.B.S.
are sponsoring a talk by Oen. Sir
James MacBrlen, Commissioner of
the R.C.M.P. The subject is "Work
of the  Mounted  Police."
Thursday, let's get all the gang
out at the flrst S.M.U.S. meeting
of the year. I am beginning to
think that there are about 70 per
cent of the second year's who don't
know even the flrst verse of Caviar.
Thas terrible and thas all.
Loft-over Ubysseys Still
In Publications Office
Ous to .the sickness of one
member of the circulation staff,
last Friday's Ubysseys wero not
distributed at tho usual points
on the campus. About a hundred
eoples are left In the f*ublleatlons
Offloe and may be obtained by
any student who desires a oopy.
Limited amounts of several other
baok numbers are alao available.
WANTED
Oroup wants transportation ono
or two dsys psr wesk from Kerrls-
dats. In rsturn will provide transportation fer the rest of ths week.
—J. Bell, Arts Men's Letter Rack.
Sciencemen Hawk
Pigeons
"Hey, mister, ,wanna buy a pig-
son ? Hey, mister .. . ," the tender
shrill voices of two ambitious—or
amphibious — sciencemen echoed
and re-echoed up and down Burrard
Street and along Oeorgla Saturday
afternoon.
Heretofore the spirit of Science
has been concerned mainly with
banner-line schemes and their reputation for putting things over has
been practically spotless. But the
new street-hawking* Idea seems to
have been a fissle and the swsater
emblasoned with crests ono of
which indicated a mountainous destination did not attract buysrs.
The pigeon squatted peacefully
in the palm of the hand of one,
blinking slowly as it regarded with
dumb rapt attention tho manipulations of the other as he grappled
manfully with an oblong object
wrapped in brown paper whioh
went wlshy wash, and drowsily Inhaled the nectarine odors which his
carrier had discovered somewhere
in the vicinity pf his vendatory
perambulations and with which he
was favoring his charge in large
sulphurious quantities.
The two wended their irregular
but determined way across Oranville with a "Hey, mister," and disappeared into the roar of the traffic.
Barcelona
$ Beauty Salon <c
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Refills, Fountain Pens and Ink, and Drawing Instruments. SOLD  HIRE Tuesday, January 12, 1937
THE
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any other stationery store.    Come in and have a look
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PRINTING of the best.    Let us print your Dance Programs,
Fraternity and Sorority Stationery.
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Company Limits.
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u
B-B
BYSSEY
Three
■y THB QP.OUOH
Martha Raye has fired our jaded
spirits with rapt and spellbound
amaae. Her vitality, enthusiasm,
and general umph are nothing
short of terrific. We should like to
observe, from a respectable distance, Mr. Dilworth's reaction to
her athletic rendition ot the song,
"Beethoven, Mendel ssohn and
Bach," at the Beacon this week ln
"Hideaway Girl."
• *      *
The omniscient Mr. Jimmy Fuller's recent rating of the ten best
pictures of 1886 is apt to discourage one hopeful for rapid promotion
In the motion • picture industry.
Firstly, he includes "My Man Godfrey," and secondly, he designates
as best pictures those he finds most
entertaining.
"My Man Godfrey" was tunny In
a hard-working way, but all Its humor was baaed on wild extrvagance
or mild Insanity. It wasn't genuine,
human humor. None ot the people
or their houses or clothes or Indoor sports were real. Further, no
picture based on any novel that
ever aerlalled ln "Liberty" could
possibly be considered one of the
year's most meritorious works.
Our contention Is that a picture,
to be merely entertaining, needn't
at all be ot high-quality calibre.
Simple folk can enjoy strenuous
humor or action when it is sufficiently loud and continuous. The
tact that a picture ot this variety
entertains them is no Indication
that the picture Itself Is ot muoh
m_rit. Real quality must hinge on
depth and Insight of acting performance, or creation of atmosphere,
and It very seldom does.
There waa a picture, "The Three
Musketeers," with Walter Abel
and Margot Graham, that illustrated the point. Hollywood could
mount and dress it richly and beautifully. AS photography It waa
splendid. As a dramatic performance, it was puling guff. Dialogue
was Infantile, action was choppy,
emotion was pure ham, and the
zeatful texture of the original and
familiar story was destroyed.
• •      •
8HSSR CUSSBDNBSS  DSPT.*.
There was never a musical picture of the 800-girl chorus school
(excepting the "Great Zelgteld")
that had any vestige of Interest
or sanity in either its story or acting.
"Macbeth"—because its setting,
spectacle, and grandness of move-
Dances you have
never  saan  before!
ye A D I   *""** y°u have never
nCrVR .   hoard .afore In Soviet Russia's latest and best film-
Russian Dialogue
E_gllsli Titles
One Grand Week!
Jan. lith - 16th
3 SHOWS DAILY
Matinae, 2.30      25c
Evanlng, 7 and 9 30c
MIDNITE  PREVIEW, Sun., Jan.   10th
Street Cars 4 ami  14
LITTLE   High. 5520
Commercial and Georgia
Correspondence
Editor, Ubyssey.
Dear Madam:
In the Ubyssey of January 8,
your editorial stated that the
nearest Canadian university
which gives a oourse in House*
hold Science is in Manitoba. May
I say that a Bachelor of Soience
degree ln Household Sclenoe can
bo obtained from the University
ot Alberta.
Yours sincerely,
EDITH E. SPENCER,
(Alberta Exchange Student)
The Editor, "The Ubyssey".
Dear Madame:
As a member of the Great Unwashed and Unenlightened I was
rather unsettled by the alleged
"Literary Page" in last Tuesday's
Issue ot your too charming paper.
To my fellow-members of the
Submerged Tenth, etc., 1 wish to
announce that there are six vacancies open in a new proletarian literary movement, The
Group of Seven. The object ot
this New Movement Is the advance of more cheerful poetry,
and all applicants must sign the
following pledge:
"I hereby promise to write
only poetry that (a) rhymes, (h)
has meter, (c) is not about my
soul, (d) or my garden, (e) deals
with a reasonably successful love
affair now and again.
"To ensure my fullest support
ot this radical movement I promise never to write poetry until I
have just had a brisk workout
ln the Gym, followed by a cold
shower."
Yours for Art,
PRO BONO PUBLiICO.
NOTIOB
Important meeting of the Munro
Pro-Medical Olub In Arts 808, 18.80
Fridays   everybody out.
ment constitute idea camera material—would make a magnificent picture.
Mae West is astute, talented,
magnetic, and exciting. Her singing in its own unique fashion is
a delight. She ls an artiste. She's
SWELL!
Eighty per cent, of all Warner
Brothers'  pictures  are awful.
Its comedy is soul-satisfying, its
Mexican backgrounds highly bt-
saire and beautiful. Nino Martini
finds in it an ideal vehicle for his
voice and personality. In short,
"The Gay Desperado" was one of
the best features shown here ln a
long while.
•      *      •
Les Allen and the 17. B. C. Film
Society merit a fulsome volume of
praise for their efforts to bring the
French "Sous Les Toits de Paris"
to the campus. It ls still considered Internationally the best comedy ever screened. Likewise, should
he and his executive succeed in
bringing Serge Bisensteln'e "Thunder Over Mexico" here, he is automatically entitled to a gold loving-
cup, loaded.
Christmas
I don't like hristmas. No, I don't
like Christmas. It rattles me. The
crowds push me about. I get into
revolving doors and go around and
around for hours before I get out.
Besides all this, there is the annual plot which is directed against
me by the Post Office Department.
I am one of those people whom
the sheer perversity of inanimate
objects can reduce to sobbing impotence. The only three times I
have ever used a dial phone, I have
- - iCttt-erjj Pag? - -
The Surrealist to His
Love
Roots groping from my chest
Are thoughts of you,
Small red canoes your lips,
Teeth sheets upon a line,
Eyes basins of old water
Orey with soap.
Dainty pink cornflakes
Pill your antiseptic skull
But plum juice
Is your kiss. . . .
Roots groping from my chest
Are thoughts of you.
Dedicated
to
Mr. James Butter fie Id
Philouphgr, Frignd,
Patron ef the Arts
Poignant Thought
I'll bet that
If all the foreign
volunteers
left Spain
they would find
that all the
Spaniards
have been dead
for months
and months.
Dawn Smoke
It was the darkness before dawn. Little Edward
orouohed down In his pitiful shell-hole and eobbed. He
olutohed hie rifle with a paralyzed grip and peeped fearfully
over the edge. Nothing stirred except a ragged bt of oloth
on the •n»my wire. There wae no eound cave that of a light
breeze rustling the empty paper oartridge-belts of the now
ueelese Vlokere. The Hun trenohee looked eo peaoeful In
all thle dim obeourity he oould (have sworn they were empty,
but reaeon told him better. A sudden etab of apprehension
foroed him to duok swiftly baok Into the mud at the bottom
of his retreat. Nothing happened. A few minutes, and he
grew oalmer, lighting a cigarette with flngere that only
shook a little now.    The smoke brought relaxation with
aatounding ewiftneee.
* •        •
Karl smiled wearily. Oawn watoh wae an eaey one In
thie eeotor, If your mind waa still. He pitied the poor devils
In some parts of the line who had to expeot anything from
hell to breakfast at S hours. Here, all was quiet: the Bnglish
aoross the way had been driven from their poet the night
before, and beyond a email guard, the oaptured linee were
empty. Maybe he didntplty ihoee other fellows. Maybe he
envied them, now that Oerta wae gone. He didn't feel like
fighting. A shot in the brain would be ewlft and pleaeant.
He waant afraid to die. He looked over the parapet. In
a shell-hole about a hundred yarda away a red glow showed
and died. Somebody emokingl Luoky dog, to have saved
his daily issue of two twists of dried hay for suoh a dreary
hour. Here oomee the eergeant with his relief. He stood
stiffly for a moment, then eorambled over the parapet. Where
the hell wae he going? the sergeant wanted to know. To
get a smoke of whoever was In that shell-hole.
* * m
Edward was startled by a moon-faoed apparition that
slid down the side of the shell-hole. Quten Tag, Englisoh.
Stlok 'em up, Helnie. Don't be a fool, freund, you are alone.
We took your position last night. Qluoklloh, nloht, wahr?
You oan spend the rest of this damned war In a nloe comfortable prison oamp, while I go on until one of your buddies
(I got that off an Amerioan prisoner) gets my number.   But
you and me, we half no quarrel now.   Give to me a smoke.
moe
Emit was startled to hear a shot. He popped his head
over ths parapet, and saw a Britisher ooming towards.him,
laughing hysterioally..Your oompanion tried to get my cigarettes, and I shot him.   He displayed four" paokagee of English
oigarettee.     Emil
sighed happily
ehot  him  and took  the  paokages.    He
ended by beating the Instrument
with battered, bleeding hands and
shrieking* the number I want into
the indifferent mouthpiece. Eventually someone leads me gently away,
mouthing brokenly.
It is the same way with Christmas parcels. I start out with something measuring about three inches
by four inches, only three by four;
three hours later I emerge, hair
dishevelled, collar limp, and mopping my brow. In my hand I hold
an amorphous mass about one foot
square.
The family point at the parcel
and laugh, fiendishly. So I turn
wearily around and pick up all the
yards and yards of paper scattered
about.  Then I do it again.
About December 28 I finally get
my one parcel down to a fairly good
sise. (Usually about eight by
eight.) There is never more than
one parcel any more. I'm not crasy.
The post office is crowded. People
mill about, and instantaneously
form queues in front of me. I hover
timidly around the outer fringe of
a crowd which has a set of scales
for Its centre. My parcel is held
between my thumb and index finger.
Then someone jostles me. The
package is down there someplace.
On the floor.
My hands are stepped no. People
kick me. The parcel ia a wreck.
When I stagger out of the building,
the crowds on the street stare at
me. Well, let 'em stare! If they
knew what I've been through in the
last two days . . .
Home again, I wrap the present
in sheet metal and tie it with haywire. This time, I get to the scales.
The man gives the parcel a tug.
And it falls apart.
Well, alright! If that's the way
you're gonna be . . . Finally I decide
I will send a Christmas card. Somehow, I manage to buy three, having
thought of two other people in the
meantime.
The post office is still crowded.
At the far end, I see a table . . .
empty. With a high pitched rebel
yell which instantly clears the way,
I dive for it. But by tho time I get
there it is always full of people
writing as if they intended to stay
there for days.
Next time I try different taotioa.
Spotting an empty place, I stroll
nonchalantly toward it, glacing at
it occasionally out of the corner of
my eye. At the last minute, I turn
and spring for the place. Usually
I land in the lap of a dowager who
has apparently been there since the
first of the week.
My cards are Anally addressed
against the wall with a stub of a
pencil discovered in a waistcoat
pocket. Then I watch the letter
box. People come up, and open
gladatone bags, from which they
proceed to shovel hundreds of cards.
Others throw in huge bundles.
Sneaking up, I deposit my three,
and slink away under the scornful
looks of those who are waiting with
their bags.
Then I go home and sink into bed.
On January 10, the postman rings
tho doorbell. He has three envelopes in his hand. They look very
familiar. A growing suspicion
mounts in my mind, as he shoves
them at me. The envelopes are all
stamped "Postage Unpaid." No, I
didn't put any stamps on them. I
must have forgotten. It won't happen again. You're damn right, it
won't. I'm going to stay in bed
from December 1 to January 81
next year. And anyone who sends
me a present or a card will shortly
receive an untidily wrapped parcel.
I'm warning them now, while I
am still fairly calm, not to open it.
For it will contain a bomb.
No, I don't like Christmas.
Pn>Bim_-*_i btj ttyp pub Srlinn. nf Pottmj
Unfortunate
Each summer night the weeping willows stood
Tall   clouds   of   dlmnesB   on
blurred, reaching lawns,
Hiding the high dim stars
Haunted with thin soft airs
Hushing the sleeping shadows
underneath. . . .
Then why the devil must I
love you ln December?
Love Among the Ruins
Oh, little green-eyed monster
With the slimy, twitchy tall,
Why must you always haunt
me
When   I'm   feeling   low   like
this?
Why don't you go find Peggy,
Bison, Turner, King, or Bev-
e ridge?
With my morning-after stomach
Your advantage ls unfair.
But   the   little   green - eyed
monster
Still Is there.
I've depetalled fields of daisies
Dissolved sugar cubes ln oof-
fee,
Done everything but ask her
If she really truly cares.
I've pawned countless booka,
rings, watohes,
Just to buy her gins and
scotches;
She's admittedly a gold digger
But who the devil cares. . . .
But this green-eyed monster
gets me
With the silly way he stares.
Hasten, Jason, the basin. . . .
Co-ed Ball Discussion
A dlsousslon of plans for the Coed Ball will feature the meeting of
the Women's Undergraduate Society In Arts 100 Friday at 18.18.
All members srs aaksd to attend.
Dr. C. M. Whitworth
Dontb.
Telephona Idiot I7M
Hours: 9 to 6
Saturday: 9 to I
Cor. 10th and Ssumat St.
PITMAN'S
Day and Night School
ENROLL NOW—FALL TERM
Students mar nUr st any tlass.
Pitman Shorthand, Gregg
Shorthand, Stonotypy
Complete Secretarial aad
Bookkeeping Courses, Public
and High School Subjects
Individual atuntlon
 VTBBi ft.SO Month
BVBIilNS A." C. BIORABOg
NIGHT SOHOOL »A'
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VANCOUVER, B. C.
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**dT Harlem   Globe-Trotters   Will  Play  Here  On Jan.  21
sports i THE UBYSSEY 1 sports
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UBYSSEY
Tuesday, January 12, 1937
BASKETBALLERS TAKE OVER SFCOND SLOT
WASHINGTON
"HUSKIES"
By TOURING TROOPER
The U. B. C. basketball ambassadors arrived baok ln Vancouver's
"slightly warmer, with showers"
climate on Saturday night after a
week's tooling through Washington's Inland Empire, ready to murder tho guy that wrote about the
"sunny south." Twsnty below in
Ohoney, 14 below In Wenatoheo, IB
below in Olo Blum — those wore
some ot tbo milder towns the boys
sojourned In. But they came out
ot It unscathed exoept for frostbit*
ten sohnossles, frossn hoots, and
earmutfs.
HBRB'S ONB POR THB BOOKB
Coming down tho straightway on
an Ice-covered highway, one-half of
tho two-oar caravan swerved oft the
road, and gracefully slithered to a
■top at a 46 degree angle In eight
toot ot snow. Calmest, coolest and
most collected of the heart-ln-mouth
basketeers was iron-nerved "Joe"
Pringle. Reading from a book as
the car took Its mad plunge, "Joe"
placed a oard ln Page 1139, and dramatically quoted as he closed it,
"And tho boy played the ukulele as
the ship went down I"
DRIVBL
Dapper Rann aet the fashion ln
dross, wearing as a seoond layer
bis gold-striped blue sweat pants.
... Old Casanova Kyle Berry
proved tbo olty slicker typo as he
stayed 'em ln every port. . . . Hurricane Hank Hudson earned a tag
ot "DB droop". Bitting ln tbo baok
ot one of the overland taxis, be
would partially awaken long enough
to mutter "Joes my feet are fro*
en," and then sink back Into a
coma. . . Manager Art Bastham
had one pet phraae: "New, remem
her fellows, a dollar a day tor
food."
That last one brings us to the
only kick on the trip. What the
melon toasers would like to aak
treaaurer Lyall Vine ls how you
can eat three meals, or even apologies for meals on 100 cents per day
—especially when you eat halt ot
them in Jerkwater towns en route.
In the first place, for every 10c you
spend in Washington, It's a token
ln tax—10 dimes—So in tax. Secondly, the average breakfast on the
way waa 86c, lunch,4Bo, and dinner
BOo, plus 2o tax, plus three tokens-
It doesn't come to a buck any way
you figure. And the reply of "We
haven't got tbo money" is squashed
by the fact that Basketball pays
tor Itself, and leaves a surplus In
tho old treasury every year ... and
this year's no exception.
REMINieOBNCBS AND
WHATNOTS
Pringle and Henderson, the duo
draped ln the back of one car,
garnered nicknames: Oroucho and
Grumble. . . . The blue singer In
Wenatchee wrote 1 ove In "Joe"
Prlngle's heart—It's the flrst time
he's ever admired a girl—take It
from him. . . Irony: "Bugs' Bardsley travelled over 800 miles in the
final lap on Saturday, arriving in
Vancouver right side up—only to
smash the back ot the car three
blocks from home. . . . Take Berry's
tip and try 1214-Sprague, Spokane.
. . . Trainer Dr. Rutherford kept
his five passengers rolling over the
seats and on the floor with hts constant flow of humor—the tops being
an Imitation of film funster Henry
Armetta. . . . And the Collegiate
oagers have a yell now, but oh!
what a yell! all publication rights
reserved.
ICB HOOKEY NOTIOB
An urgent matter ot business will
be discussed at a meeting of the
Ice hockey club to be held on Tuesday (today) at noon in Arts 104.
All please attend as this is very
Important.
COLLEGE CAGERS CLICK;
TRIM   RYERSON  46-32
Smart Blocking, Fatt
Breaks Feature Brilliant
Student Offense
By JACK MAIR
Arriving back from their Washington trip at the eleventh hour
after travelling all day from Wenatchee, tho Varsity oagers brassed
through to an sasy win over Ryerson In Saturday's Intercity hoop
fixture. Barging Into tho V. A. C.
gym at five minutes to 8 and walking on tho floor at 8 o'clock, the
Thunderbirds turned in as smooth
a performance as has bsen seen this
season, downing tho Churchmen
46-88. *
With smart blocking and fast
breaks, tho atudenta whipped the
ball around a bewildered Ryerson
■quad to pile up a  substantial
load in tho opening minutes of
tho gamo.  Midway through tho
flrat   frame   when   the   Varsity
shock troops wero sent In, tho
Churchmen rallied  to knot tho
■core at 16 all, but with the re-
tarn of tho regulars tho Thunder-
bird qplntot stopped away again
to load 88-19 at tho half-way post.
After the breather tbe Churchmen
continued to press the leaders until
tho last ten minutes when tho reunited. "Three Musketeers," Bardsley,   Wllloughby   and   Henderson,
staged a brilliant last-minute drive
and swept through tho Ryerson five
to put the gamo on ice for the students.
BABBLE
Saturday's tilt saw Joe Pringle
back in form again after a scoring
slump of several games' duration
The aforementioned Musketeers are
certainly living up to pre-Christmas
expectations. . . . We hear that
Ryerson have lost the services of
Bill Beresford, who, it is reported,
has headed for the sunny slopes of
Australia ... the strengthened Gold
and Blue squad are gleefully looking forward to their game with the
league-leading Province crew when
they expect to WTeak revenge for
those two pre-Xmas trouncings . . .
and by the way, don't miss Wednesday's game with Munro Fur at
Varsity gym ... while we're on the
subject of coming events, the Harlem Olobe Trotters will be here a
week Wednesday and can be depended on to put on a good show.
BYERS   STILL
UNDAUNTED
"Hero to Be" Emphatic
in His Second Speech
On Wave to Fame!
Archie Byers, ye old defter of Icy
waters and the only living replica
of Father Neptune, still is anxious
to prove himself a swimmer of the
flrst water by braving the wintry
blasts and the ice bergishness of the
briny deep for a period not to exceed four minutes.
It started out as a gag, but the
idea has so taken hold of Archie
that it haa become his chief ambition in life. In an interview with
the aforementioned "hero to be,"
the fact waa mentioned that there
are in Vancouver two married women who regularly take a dip in
the deep.. In reply to this Mr. Byers
said, quote, "Never let it be said
that a Byers can't do what two
members of the weaker sex can
accomplish."
So it looks, folks, as if the big
event of the year is almost ready to
be staged and let us hope that it
comes off right away before the
weather man changes to warmer
ways and puts a stop to the whole
proceedings.
BARDSLEY
DANCING
Every Wednesday and Saturday
ALMA ACADEMY
*        Stan Patton's Orchestra        *
We give you, "No fooling,"
"Bugs Bardsley, the one and
only, who is fast returning to the
form that made him one of the
most feared forwards in local
basketball circles. On the recent tour of the Senior A's he
was the sparkplug of their attack and scored more than 50
points in the four games.
Two years ago Bugs was top
scorer for the league and if he
keeps up his present form he
looks like a cinch to repeat this
season.
Ti Tckmen   PI
Big Meets
Varsity-Victoria First
On Books, Jan. 22
Three phenomenal meets are
planned by the Track Club 'or this
year, the flrat on the roster being
the Varsity-Victoria contest set for
January 88. With two first-rate
teams fighting lt out the Victoria
meet should be nothing short of
sensational. Tho Varsity track contingent will be primed to perfection for the battle, slnoe coaoh
Maury Van Vllet Is really making
tbe men train. Training days prior
to tbo meet are as follows:
Tuesday, 18, at 4.80; Wednesday,
18, at 4.80; Thursday, 14, 18.00;
Friday, 15, at 8.80; Monday, 18, at
4.80; Tuesoday, 18, at 4.80; Wednesday, 80, at 4.80.
The Varsity team will probably
be composed ot the "following men:
MoPhee, Lucas (Seagull), Capt.
McCammon, Norm. Renwlck, Vanoe
McComber, O. Pendray, Jim Brown,
Evan apRoberts, Horace Harvey,
Tom Williams, and that old reliable.
Moose Colthurst. However, the
above la only a tentative arrangement and ls subjeot to vagaries of
the coach's mind.
The amiable Archie MoKlnnon
has arranged a suitable list of
events, tbe highlight of which
should be tho 800-yard relay. Varsity will be represented ln this by
MoPhee, Renwlck, Brown and probably Lucas. Two other big meets
are on the calendar for this term,
a meet with Washington frosh, negotiations for which are under way,
and the meot with College ot Puget
Sound. The former should be one
of the best meets of the year.
Frankly Speaking
by
FRANK PERRY
*u
TRAOK TRUCK
The authentic Information as regards the reason for the failure of
the track olub to run the annual Arts '80 is herewith divulged. Traok
manager Joe Rita meticulously laid plans tor tho yearly leg derby by
plaolng a large card at the foot of the oaf stairs upon which were to
be placed names ot potential contestants. No names appeared. Undaunted, and with the faith of Lasarua, Joe called the raoe for Wednesday. As fate would have it, Joe was 111 abed upon tbat day, and Vie
Towns waa delegated to take charge of the contest. Vlo appeared at
the appointed time and plaoe, where ho found a miserable lack of
contestants, so the raoe was postponed until Friday. By Friday Joe
Rita had recuperated sufficiently to conduct the annual leg-lifting
embrogllo. And so on Friday, In company with a "Ubyssey" reporter
Joe made his way to the bus stand. And there, low and not beheld,
were two, exactly two, men waiting for the raoe to begin. There was
no raoe, Joe trekked back, sad Indeed tbat bis track charges had so
sadly neglected him. ...
H08PITALIA
Paddy Colthurst's injured leg has now healed sufficiently for him
to take part ln the coming Miller Cup final. Paddy has discarded his
crutches for rugby cleats and will doubtless be present at the Miller
Cup roll call. . . . It's been quite a successful year tor ole' man Injury.
Dave Carey broke one of hia valuable digits and Lyle Wllaon contracted
a case of ole' deblll flu*. . . . And unless Oordle Heron's ailing leg
improves he won't make the trip to Victoria with the rest of the track
club. ... A couple of cracked ribs wrote "finis" to the Bnglish rugby
career in '86 of fullback Bills, who was able to take part ln only one
major game. . . , All of which is extremely regrettable Indeed. . . .
VIGNETTES
Here's an excerpt from the Washington "Daily" concerning that
Rose Bowl upset which Is now anything but history. However, here's
what the "Daily" says:
"The mythology ot Rosebowllana, now that everybody's borne is
ready tor literature, and one of the classics will be the tale ot the
Husky rooters who were seen wading In the gutters ot Los Angeles
during a heavy cloudburst. The waters surged knee-high as the rain
came down, and still they waded in the gutters of Los Angeles during
a heavy cloudburst. The waters surged knee-high as tlie rain came
down and still they waded, making queer, occult gestures with their
arms. The natives were curious, stopped wondered, finally asked the
why's and wherefores of the coo-coo Washingtonians. "Sh.h," said one,
running his hands over his oilskins, "We're fishing for mackerel." . . ,
(Bnd of excerpt.)
Mr. Tommy Burns, ex-champ of de woild, now residing In Vanoouver, thinks that Joe Louis will he the next heavyweight title-holder . . ,
as who doesn't ... or don't you.
The Ice hookey club is still trying to set a definite date for the
re-opening of the Washington-U.B.C. ice series, but as yet, nothing
specific has been arranged. The president of th local club wrote to the
Washington head man two or three weeks ago but as yet has received
no reply. If they don't want *o play with us we'll play In our own baok
yard.    So there. ...
WILKINSON   HAS   RALLY
PLANS   UNDER   WAY
CO-ED
SPORTS
By MVRNB NBVISON
BASKBTBALLBRB   LOBB  TO
SPBNOBR'S
The hopes that rose high at half
time by a two-point lead on the
part of the senior co-ed basketball
squad playing Spencer's Thursday
night were rudely shattered when
tho Diamond "8" girls forged ahead
to win the tilt 81*88.
Hard oheoklng, and moderate success ln shooting gavo tbe Varsity
team the edge ln tbe first half. During the rest of tho game, elongated
Connie MoKensie and a former
Province star, Veroa Briscoe, sue-
ceeded so well in snaring rebounds
and shooting that thoy salted away
the game for Spencer's In spite of
the co-eds' frantic efforts to win
again.
Muoh oredit lo duo tho Varsity
girls   who   played   rsally   smart
basketball t h r o u about.    Thslr
short, quick passes wore very of*
festive,   but   their   playa   wore
somewhat hampered by tho small*
noss of MoDonald Oym.
Oustanding stars on the Varsity
squad were Lola McBwen and Ruth
Wilson, but all tbe team waa unusually good.   The only thing lacking to tho team ls a "Long John"
Purves to got tbo tip-offs and snag
tbo rebounds.
TAKB IT FROM WBSTBRN . . .
Inter-collegiate competition ln
women's sports, long a mere dream
now seems about to become a reality in one field at least.
Western    University    had   the
bright Idea of staging an archery
tournmmant with  the  U. of *•*•
katehowan and U. B. O. without
travelling   further   than   to   the
nearest    tslsgrsph     office.    The
plan la for osoh unlveralty to do
their own shooting on their own
oampus and telegraph the results
to eaoh other.    Tho person with
ths highest soore In tho eomblned
results will win the mug—If any.
If the Invitation is aooepted, the
tournament will probably come oft
In  Maroh so as to give our ama-
tuers   plenty  of  time  to   discover
where the bullseye usually Is.
Newcomers to tbe gentle art of
directing an arrow along the way
are asked to turn out to tho theory
classes this month in order to know
how to shoot when the snow melts,
and outdoor competlon is possible.
Old players are requested to get
together to practice as the high
standard of inter-colleglate demands every effort.
MISS MOORB BREAKS ...
Returning full of ambition and
enthusiasm from a holiday spent In
the east visiting different Canadian
universities, Miss Moore outlined
her trip and discoveries to a group
of athletically minded co-eds Friday   afternoon.
Most of the other unlveraltlea
snjoy oompulsory gym coursss
while thoy sll have more Intramurals than ws. Ths women In
Toronto flnsnee their sports by
tag days and hlrs msn to run
parking spaoea at rugby gamea.
Although there, they depend
mostly on men'e efforts for their
flnsnee problem, girls rulea only
are uaad In their gamea. Theae
rules are not fsvored by the majority of the girls on our own
eampue.
Most of our eastern cousins play
ice hockey; Indeed, the women of
tbe Western University are hold
enough to try soccer — I wonder
what the girls' rules ln that are?
In spite of the number of sports
theae colleges indulge In, Miss
Moore is very pleased with our own
showing and expects U. B. G. in a
few years, to be the most up-to-
date of all the Canadian universities.
HOW THEY STAND
Won Loot Points
Province   B 1 16
Varsity   7 8 14
Adanacs    6 8 18
Porsts  _  8 4 10
Munro Pur  4 6 8
Rysrson     1 12 8
Plans for a recurrence of tbo
memorable student rally ot laat
term's Saskatchewan football embrogllo are being completed by that
ace of organisers, Ted Wilkinson,
the man who was responsible for
the phenomenal success ot tbo
Sask.-Varsity demonstration.
PBP M8BT AND RALLY
Big things are In the air for
the hopecMo-be final Miller Oup
oontost of January 16, aooordlng
to organlasr Wilkinson. There
will be a pop meet, there will bo
a rally, and there will be pennants and Innumerable gadgets—
1st us hops thero will be a little
oo-oporatlon. Tod haa Intimated
that Instead of tha oardo decorated In tho football motif with
the significant words "Hardy
Oup" printed therson, thsre will
bs lapel dsooratara with tho
Millar Oup on ens oldo and tho
MoKeohnle Oup on tha other—
emblematle of the oueeaaa of tho
Bngllah Rugby team In 1886.
Tod's plans are not oomplete as
yet, but from all Intimations It Is
apparent that tbe rally planed will
relegate tbe '86 demonstration Into
the limbo of forgotten things.
INTRA MURALS FOR
JANUARY
The Intra Mural schedule for the
month of January has bsen drawn
up by Oym Instructor Maurice Van
Vliet. Volley Ball will be played
on Wednesdays and Basketball on
Fridays. Education meets Science
'87 and Arts '88 meets Science '88
tomorrow and all members of these
four teams are asked to be on hand
as soon after twelve as possible.
A double knock-out schedule has
been drawn up for both sports and
will be put up on the notice board
in the gym. After a team has lost
two games it is out of all further
competition. The finals take place
between the team that has lost only
ono gamo and the one that has lost
none. If the team that ha_ lost
none is victorious in tho encounter
they are declared champions. However, if they lose another game will
be played to declare tho champion.
SNOW SLOWS
SOCCER
Poor field conditions have forced
all soccer clubs to suspend operations temporarily. There will be no
further games until the grounds
are in good shape again, and for
the same reason, indoor practices
are being held all over the city,
with the U.B.C. club using the Oym
on Tuesday nights.
•'   9m
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Manager: Bob Strain, '33
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Bayviaw 74
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CHAS. CLAMAN
315 WEST HASTINGS

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