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The Ubyssey Feb 13, 1940

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 SCIENCE BALL
THURSDAY
COMMODORE
Published Twice Weekly by The Publications Board of The University of British Columbia
SCIENCE
PEP MEET
TOMORROW
AUDITORIUM
VOL. XXII.
VANCOUVER, B.C., TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 1940
No. 30
In Quebec, The NFCUS On Trial
Montreal and Laval Withdraw;
Charge NFCUS Anti-Canadian
Claim NFCUS Opposition to Distribution
of Conscription Questionnaire Undemocratic
MONTREAL, Que, Feb. 9, 1940—Charging that N.F.CUAS.
leaders are to a certain extent undemocratic nnd anti-Canadian,
Ivaval Unirersity, in Quebec City, nnd the University of Montreal,
both Universities in French-Canadian Quebec, withdrew  from the
i National     Federation     of    Canadian
//
//
*Qpen House* Preview
Voice   Impulses
Control   Train   In
House of Magic
It will Stop, Advance,
or go Backwards Say
Electrical Engineers
It will obey your verbal command.
ft—a toy train—can bo found
in the Electrical I_nb, tlie middle
one of three barn-like buildings
standing inconspicuously behind
the Powc. House.
TALK  TO  IT
You can talk to It at the Open
House exhibit on March the second,
and it will, without hesitation, obey
the impulf.es of your voice. It will
advance with alarming speed, stop
dead, and back up depending upon
upon  the  whlma   you   entertain.
This little toy train is not all that
the Electrical Engineers have planned for their "House of Magic" exhibit. Delving into the mysteries and
the peculiarities of electricity they
have Aladdin-like conjured up displays  which will   mystify and amaze.
The   electricals   want   to   speak.
HABT KENNEY   I'l.AYS
Thero in the corner is one of our
more spectacular displays, the Tesla
Coil. Those crackling arcs are quite
harmless. When your ears have been
sufficiently disturbed by the roar of
this Interesting device, let Mart
Kenney soothe  them.
You have probably never heard
his sweet strains emanating from
an arc, or crossing the room, inauu-
ibly on a beam of light. You can
here. The gentleman with the cathode ray oscillograph will be delighted to show you the same sweet
strains on a fluorescent screen. You
can watch the pattern change with
the   music.
SCIENTIFIC   MARVELS
Over there is the stroboscope. See
how it 'stops' the motion of a fast
machine! There is the teletype—the
modern marvel which brings you today's news while it is new. Type
your message somewhere and lt is
instantaneously printed miles away.
You will have a dial telephone in
your home soon, ^et us show you
how the magic fingers of the automatic exchange do your bidding at
the   (lip   of   a   dial.
Our everyday work is done on
the machines, switches and meters
you sc« nil around you. On just
Much equipment us this modern
civilization depends, twenty-four
hours a day. Electricity may he a
mystery to you; hut wo feel sure
that you will tlnd these displays
(which »rc a combination of the
spectacular and the utilitarian)
most   Interesting.
MEMBERS
OF     THK     KAC-
iil.TV
AND
STUHKNTS
Tt   has
be
■n
Finnounoed   that
tht-    funt
nil
of
Lord    Tweeds-
niuir.   (W
vol
not
-Oenoral   of  Ol
nada,  wi
I b
• In
id on the after-
noon   of
\v<.
dm
sdny,   February
14.
I.,eet ill-
OS
a r.
1        laboratories
will  be o
am
olio
il  that   day from
3:30   p.m
Sig
led,
I,
S
KI.INCK,
President.
NOT
K 'I''.
TO    Ait'
'S
Today    noon
liny    remain
«U
til
•kots   to
Sol.
lice   Itall
will
hi
ol
i   sale   lo
Art
s  anil   Aggies
nt
lt
xiiii   It,
A p.
So.   Bldg
TUKKK
Hi: (KM.
University  Students  last  Wednesday.
UNANIMOUS   SUPPORT
In Justifying this action, the official spokesman for the Students'
Council of the University of Montreal
said: "Our move represents the opinion of all those students at the two
universities who care about being In
University organizations."
He made no specific reference to
the C.S.A.,  the other national student    assembly,    which    haa    been
either suspended or abolished from
the majority of the campl In Canada;   but  rather  clarified   the   reasons   for   the   withdrawal   from   the
N.F.C.U.S.
"We  consider,"   he   said,   "that  the
function of a student organization is
to stimulate  free  and full  discussion
of   all   the   various   problems    facing
the youth of today. We feel, furthermore,    that    the    Canadian   students
must take a definite stand;  and that
they    must    adopt    decisions    which
seem to them to be in the best interests of  their country. Canada.
UNDEMOCRATIC
"The N.F.C.U.S. has shown," he
continued, "that It is unable to serve
the mass of Canadian Students.
Moreover, It has through its actions,
adopted an extremely undemocratic
attitude. It Is generally known that
the distribution of the questionnaire
on conscription was undertaken so
that the students throughout Canada
could express their opinion on this
question.
"The N.F.C.U.S. leaders, In opposing the questionnaire, have revealed not only an undemocratic
attitude, to which we are unaccustomed, but also to a certain extent,
an   Anti-Canadian  one.
WE   WERE   IGNORED
"Their action was taken without
proper consultation of French-Canadian members. The French-Canadians
as a body are unalterably opposed to
conscription. Moreover, they feel that
Canadian unity, like democracy, is
impossible if a large section of the
Canadian people Is to be deliberately
Ignored."
Thus Laval and Montreal withdrew
from the N.F.C.U.S., perhaps never to
return, as the speaker intimated:
"We have  no desire of again  becoming   victims   of   the   autocratic
measures  of  the   N.F.C.U.S."
Dean Finlayson ^X^rites
There luings on the wall of my office a photograph of I lie first
science class, fourteen in number,- enrolled in the Mctjill I'niversity College of Hritisli- Columbia. It bears the date November
1!HMi—thirty-three years ago. It was presented to me by Dr. J. <!.
Davidson through tlie courtesy of Major Allan Kinlny, and the
names of the members of tlie class were obtained from Professor
Lemuel Robertson who remembered them all through the Intervening
years.
NUCLEUS
• Six of them I knew later at McGiil in Montreal, whence they graduated
in 1910. At least two of them
did not return from overseas service in 1919. The three science
teachers are seen sitting In the
midst of the freshmen. They are
Dr. Davidson, Mr. H. K. Dutcher
and Professar Q. E. Robinson.
Here ls portrayed the flrst applied
science class to receive Instruction ln British Columbia.
APPLIED  SCIENCE  BEGINS
The flrst calendar issued by
the University of British Columbia (1915-16) .carried the announcement that courses of study
were offered by the new university ln civil engineering, chemical
engineering, mechanical engineering and mining engineering.
There In the statement thnt the
University would undertake to
furnish Instruction In the various branches requisite for a liberal eduoatlon, and in the technical brunches that have; a hearing upon the life und
Industries  of  the   Province. v
It would aim to encourage research work in all departments, to produce creative scholars, and so do its share In enlarging the domain of
knowledge. As the research arm of the Province, it would bo the policy of
the University to place its resources for research at the service of the
citizens and to disseminate such information concerning the application
of science to the industries of the Province as may prove helpful. Thus
it would be the general policy of the institution to foster the educational
interests of the Province broadly and generously interpreted.
FIRST   GRADUATES
The flrst graduate of tlie young Faculty of Applied Science was C. A.
H. Wright, who obtained the degree in chemical engineering In 1917. He
is now Research Chemist with the Consolidated Mining and Smelting Company, Trail, B.C., and a member of the University Senate. There were no
other graduates until the close of tho war. Hurry F. G. I.etson, the first
graduate in mechanical engineering, received his degree in 1910. Later he
obtained the degree of Ph.D. from the University of London, was associate
professor at his Alma Mater, and is now Lieutenant-Colonel Letson. Olllcer
Commanding 14th Infantry Brigade, Vancouver.
PROMINENT   POSITIONS
Tho Eaculty has now reached the age of full manhood. Mme than
seven hundred graduates have gone forth; more than half of them are
occupying responsible professional positions in their native province ;
many havo won distinction in graduate studies abroad; some have contributed  to  the   fund  of available  knowledge  in   particular  fields.
The growing list of graduates occupying eminent pluees In the professional, commercial, industrial und cultural life of tin- Province is the measure of the success of the faculty in twenty-one yenrs.
Dean   Finlayson
Engineers 'Come Of Age7
At Science Ball Thursday
Ole Olson in Charge Promises Original
Arrangements of "Mr. Noah" for Appoval
of Redshirts and Popeye, the Sailor
Two hundred and fifty Engineers clad not in traditional redshirts and bowlers, but in formal evening wear, dinner juckets,
business suits or wbal have you, this Thursday night will escort
their gals to the Commodore1. Arriving there; they will yomp and
yive  to  the  Ole   Olson   arrangements'
of    "Mr.    Noah"   and    Other    Science
hymns     of     praise     not     including
"Caviar."
TWENTY-FIRST   PARTY
The occasion is the 21st edition of
the greatest dance of the year, the
SCIENCE BALL. Accordingly the
stick slippers have decided to celebrate a 21st Birthday Party. It is
with this idea in mind that the decorations have been designed by the
engineers  ln charge.
The patrons will include Chancellor and Mrs. R. E. McKechnie, President L. S. Klinck; Dean and Mrs.
J. N. Finlayson; Dean and Mrs.
Daniel Buchanan; Honorary President of tbe S.M.U.S. Col. F. A. Wilkin; Mr. Archie Peebles; and Dr.
and Mrs. Harold  Smith.
It is our privilege to enlighten
some of the local scribes who In
their deep ignorance described tho
junior prom as being the major
social function of the year. Th.
SCIENCE BALL was, is and always
will be the criterion for those who
desire novelty, glamour and excellence.
LIMITED—THREE   BUCKS
The Executive haa had a real
problem to solve this year in that
previous SCIENCE BALLS have
been so popular even with artsmen
that Johnny of the Commodore told
us ho would have to put extra reinforcement in the walls or else
charge   a   prohibitive   price.
Being Engineers and readily capable of solving any problem what-
f voi, tlie executive decided to limit
tlie jittendance to 25(1 couples and
keep tho price down to the popular
liguro   of   THREE   BUCKS.   (Advt.)'
It stands to reason that the RED-
SHIRTS get the llrst chance at the
250    tickets    and    so    far    have    been
(Continued  on   I'a go 2)
See  SCIENCE  BAI.I.
Redshirts Clash
^X/ith Earthmen
In Campus Brawl
STOP PRESS--As the Ubyssey
wont to press yesterday, avenging
Aggies drew science blood in tho
"Battle   of   tho   Lunchpapers."
Retaliating for past injustices, the
farmers swooped down on three
innocent Sclencemen. (Ed. Note: Remember tiiis issue is written without   bias!.
The three red-sweatered angels
were forced to enter the squalor of
the Aggie Common Room where
they were thrust rudely into tho
"pay" telephone and ordered to disrobe.
Science ingenuity triumphed again
when one of the throe contrived his
escape under the vory eyes of the
bovine boobs. Ho returned with
wave on wave of scarlet cohorts.
RED   CHIVALRY
The pitched battle which followed was marked by unfair tactics of
tile earthmen and the accustomed
chivalrous behaviour of tho Rod-
shirts. Aggies demonstrated their
poor sportsmanship by using a large
table as a battering ram, which necessitated tile strategic retreat of
the   Rod   invaders.
Said a prominent Redskin: "We
did our part In th<- Cleun-Up Campaign by cleaning up tht- Aggies!
Why don't they c-.lf-an tip their rotten
Common   Room?"
THEY LEAD THE REDSHIRTS
Cftr fclniUcrsitp ^ IBrittfltj Columbia
-Take gizeat PLEASuec
<b*"*£%
i
$f*PHtA/
J6-T  CALV   ""16
war.i. (<***£> U6NTHALL.
-^7 BOGLE
(  5* VEAC    HP 5
TehL$    ui.    this     sse-vt. s    0-.u.
pt "TOPS 'i~   V B C i.   •-£>( i
CHARLIfi
r*-4<£     BAtU     io    -.
PranK
("Mack"--to ■/-u-N)
iMfc   B»N6V   _'_B^>
...hr  '-.rs-.«<'->sl"-"   ►.,■-
■^•Afi
The Red Occupation
Ole Engineers
Science Pep Meet
Tomorrow Noon
Buck Kicks Through
With Original Script
Titled 'Cleaning Up'
Clad in the traditional Sciencs
Red, Ole Olson and his orchestra of
sweet swing, Science '43, will engineer the Annual Science Ball Pep
Meet   in   the  Auditorium   tomorrow.
Meanwhile the Redshirts hava
adopted Popeye, the spinach loving
sailor, created by Segar, as the modern "Mr. Noah" for the ball. They
have even gone one better. They
have nlso adopted Sweetpea, infantile mascot and star of Thimble Theatre, who has captivated more Aggie
and Artsmen hearts than any
charming campus co-ed.
MACK   KICKS   THROUGH
Lanky Mack Buck, rugger playing president of Science '43, has
turned playwright to create an original (Nice going Mack old man;
nice going) script which he claims
will wow the House. Sweetpea Is
the starlet, too! And in case It
doesn't Ole Olson will with his nifty
arrangements of Mr. Noah" and "We
aro,   we   are,   we   die   tho   engineers."
So that Sclencemen cannot be accused of contributing to the delinquency of tlio innocent Sweetpea,
Popeye bas postponed his projected
sea voyage to censor the Pep Meet.
Says Popeye: "Feed me lots of El
Stuffo and I know I will have a good
time; and feed Sweet-Pea lots of
spinach   ...   I  yam,  I   yam."
SPORTING
Showing their true sportsmanship,
the Redshirts have granted the Arts-
men and the Aggies their best
friends sole rights to the balcony in
the Auditorium. They will occupy
their annual seats of honor in the
front rows. A battalion of Reds will
lepel   those   not   wearing   the   rod.
U.E.S. Organized
First Open House
Back   In   1933
By   RAY   JONES
Back in 15)33 corUiin enterprising
members of tin- University Engineering Society conceived tlie idea of
holding an "Open House" day, to let
the people of Vancouver .see for
themselves that British Columbia not
only had a University, but that the
University was really doing something besides .sitting placidly on the
promontory   known  as  Point  Grey.
Those lads didn't got. much support. They hail to .sell "Open House"
to the University before "Open Hou.se"
could .sell tlie University to the Public.
KNOINKKRS   IN   THK   I.IOAD
in spito ol opposition, in spile of
I ho .sago sayings of the "wise guys"
Ihat such a function could meet with
nothing but failure, an "Open House"
clay was named. It was not. to be a
University ' Open House". The rest of
tho University had to bo shown the
v/iiy. II was to bo an "Engineers Open
House", sponsored by the University
Engineering Society, unci staged by
I tie .studenls of the Applied Science
Faculty.
It was with disappointment that
those responsible for this first "Open
House" looked out on this clay of
driving rain thai was to see tin- culmination of I heir efforts. Even the
weather, then, win; against them!
The  morning   passed     and afternoon
(Continued   on   I'agr   2)
SEE OPEN   HOUSE Two
THE      UBYSSEY
Tuesday,  February 13,  1940
THE   UBYSSEY
iMued twice weekly by the Students' Publication Board of the Alma Mater
Society of the University of  British  Columbia
Office: Brook Memorial Building      ......      Phone Alma 1624
Campus Subscriptions, $1.50 Mail Subscriptions, $2.00
SOIENCE  EDITORIAL BOARD
EDITOR-IN-OHIEF
Arvid Hnekmnn, Science  '4'.i
SKNIOR   KDITOR
Charlie   Lighthall,   Civil   '40
ASSOCIATK KDITOR
Charlie  Nash,  Science   '42
CARTOONIST
Bill  Angley
COLUMNISTS
Charlie Parker,  Rex Parker,  Roy Bogle,  Roy  McConnachlo
Editorials
ENGINEERS FOREVER
Oncn again the engineers take over tho Uliyssoy, official publication of tho Alma Mat or Society oi' tho University of British
Columbia, to show to tho student body that thoy can do moro than
manipulate a slide rule and translate log tables. Onee again tlio
reportorial staff ot! tho Ubyssey has to how to the evident superiority of the 'Kedshirts' who, with their customary versatility, transformed themselves into journalists  for a day.
This issue, clothed in red, will perhaps bring, for the first time
to some people some indication of the Sciencemen's achievements.
It perhaps will make some people realize that the Scichceninn
is more than he is assumed to be and that behind his reckless,
strong spirit lies a purpose and a determination to serve to tho best
of his ability his country, his province, his city and his University.
To eulogize any class of individuals is a hard and difficult
task. It is .just as difficult to pound this typrewritor and tell the
campus that the Scienceman can he and is an important unit in the
Hhoma of things. Perhaps, all that is necessary to convince you,
the students and tin- Faculty of the University of British Columbia, that Sciencemen have the ability to do more than spend their
hours in labs, juggling figures and ([rafting, is a thorough perusal
of this issue.
For this is tho Science issue. For the only time in the year,
the week of the Science Hall, the 'Kedshirts' have discarded their
slide rules, their physios and mathematics texts, 1o put out TMF.IK
Ubyssey. From the many columns submitted, the Science Kditor
has selected those published as being most representative of all tintypes making up tho members of the  Faculty of Applied  Science.
Ranging from the serious and intellectual to the humorous
and the ironic they indicate that the average Scienceman regards
himself as more than an engineer. They, moreover, indicate, quito
obviously, that the student engineer, popular misconceptions and
fallacies to the contrary, is capable of expressing his own thoughts.
Far too long has the impression remained that the 'Kedshirt'
is crude, rough, and incapable of demonstrating culture! Far too
long have certain groups on this campus retained and nourished
a stupid complex to the effect that the Scionoeman and the Faculty
of Applied Science aro to lie avoided!
It is regrettable that this blind prejudice litis existed; but it
is  inexcusable.
Road then, those of you who doubt thi- benefit and the use of
tlie Sciencemen! Remove all your foolish prejudices! Uiscover
for yourselves what sciencemen have contributed to ihe development of lliis province! Consider yourselves, as Soienceiiieii consider themselves, units in a world . requiring responsible, (rained
*iml educated men !
Then, when you have realized, as well ns you can, the importance of the engineer and the 'Kedshirt' who is the engineer of tomorrow, try to find out  the significance of that  immortal  ditty:
"JVc arc, we are, we are the engineers.  . .  ."
Aggie Hoe-Down
Follows  Formal
Science  Ball
While Sciencemen away in a more
oi- Ichs sophisticated manner Thursday, Akkic* studenta are throwing
«tll vestige °f formality to the Winds,
as they don overalls and straw hats
for the Annual Aggie Burn Danoe,
to be held Friday evening in the
Kerrisdale   Memorial   Hall.
I .oh v ing tholr milking stools for
the space of a few hours the student
farmers will hippety hop at a real
h o e - (.1 o w n   a ff a i r.
A startling statement by I.en Zink
to the I Tbyssey yesterday revealed
the amazing fact that strenuous efforts avc being marie liy the rural
ryt h -. i : t ti grow bigger nnd bettor
i:oi n cub:- for tho corn cot) pipes so
Tiecessa ty at i. barn dance.
HAY   n:\KU   WITH   KOKAI.INU
Hong Pougans, senior Aggie class
prexy is laying plans for a barnyard
colour on a scale never hefore reached   by   the   chicken   ranchers.
"All you need in the way of costume is padded breeches, straw luit
and a cart horse" lie in formed tuxedo-inclined inquirers. "The dance
cannot, will not, and must not be
formal."
The Hcttiru; of the dance will he
tastefully decorated with cart har-
ncs-s grains of wheat, horse feath-
«. is and Professor King's world funiculi pui pie cow. Caricatures of
Aggie Faculty members will line the
rust io walls.
Til All,   OF    OH
.A special feature, destined to lure
Sciencemen to the hop, will he the
wpll    tilled    barrel   of    applejack    plus
OPEN HOUSE
(Continaed from Pace 1)
.saw no Improvement in the weather.
Yet. in spite of the rain and cold,
five thousand people turned up to
see this first "Open House"! Many
of them stayed until the lights had
lo be turned out to make them go
away.
UNIVERSAL  OPEN   HOUSE
In 1935 another Engineers "Open
House" was held, with an even better
attendance. Then, on February 12th,
11)38, in conjunction with the Student Campaign, thoro was held the
first "Open House'' day In which the
whole  University   took  part.
If our University I.s lo have the
.support of the people of British Co-
lumbln. land this support 11 must
have If it is ever to grow tn lt.s full
.stature'—Ihen we must show them,
in nd continue to show them, that it
is something of whioh thoy can bo
justly proud. It is with this object In
view Ihat wo aro making plans for
ne.oHier "Open House" on Saturday,
March 2nd.
SUPPORT   NEEDED
We oan all do our part to mako
this "Open House" a .succoss. Many
of us havo actual jobs lo do. Thoso
of you who havo no actual jobs to
iln. ran do your part for the University by gelling the support of your
families and friend.s for our University    "Open   House."
Wo ask you to boar In mind that,
for I lie University. "Open House" is
(ho most important function of the
year, and wo ask you for your fullest
support with tho utmost, confidence
Ihat  wo  will  get  it.
tallies   of    roulette   and    Daya   of   '98
gambling   devices.
It's   "buok   to   tho   land"   for   Aggies
Kriday   night.
Diamonds, Watches, Personal Gifts
FIRBANK and LANGE
csk on;. ncnuiAr ri..\\
.Seymour  nt  Dunsmuir
1
i
i
The
Motor - Boat
By A. RIVER
Xo high .school, college, oill ni versity ('Ionics—cat cgoric ally
or otherwise- existence ol' that
stratum in the crust ol' its society misnamed the Artsmen.
Here, at the University of Hritish Columbia, they masquerade
about under the somewhat obscure
title of "The Intelligentsia."
I,   being  an  Intelligent  Scienceman
 -one of  the noble Engineers, have
at various times tried to discover the
title character of these childish Insects buzzing about in the Kaf.
And I  found  .  .  .
SOCIAL,   PROBLEMS
The artsmen are the bored, the
mercenary, the idle, the flitterbugs,
and the dilettanti. They care not for
the world's woes; for they are a world
unto themselves. They experiment
with political theories, pyschologlcal
libs tracts, and economical fallacies,
all which puzzle more brilliant minds
than theirs.
They hear not the voice of tradition; for they listen only to the voice
of the ego. They have neither spirit
nor life; lor they know only emptiness and shallow existence.
Small talk is their only ceremony;
and by the tacit rules of the game
they live on and feed the conceit of
one another. They lapse, as they
lounge In the Kaf, Into stilted laughter, piquant head tossing, coquettish
flirting, aimless drinking, and incessant smoking. ,
Yet, for all their Idleness, they
think they possess latent possibilities.
They   may.
But     these     are     camouflaged     by
their    impossibilities,     their    pseudo-
modernity,    and   their   childish   artl-
ness.
NEGATIVE  VALUE
They neither love nor hate; they
are only diffident. They neither look
clean nor are clean; they are only
rouged and powdered, shaved and
perfumed. They neither learn nor
appreciate; they are only stuffed
Hollow Men'. They are neither loyal
nor  true;   they  are merely  personal.
Thoy have no morals; only useless
conventions. Thoy havo no ethics;
only blatant principles. Thoy have no
religion: only a purposeless god. Thoy
have no wealth; only hoarded money.
Thoy havo nothing; only a bare existence.
It is an existence based on theory
—hence it is valueless, fruitless, and
superficial.
In their childish struggle for existence they confront Nature's Law:
Only  the  nt shall survive.'
So. they perish—not physically, but
mentally.
VAGUE   POSSIBILITIES
Some of them, admitted, continue
to exist, mature, and gain wisdom
throughout the years. Then, nnally
they live. But. when they begin to
live, they desire a simplicity wtth security and without struggle. In their
selfishness thoy desire, also, a simplicity with sincerity but this they
can never attain.
For thoy can never forget they are
the Intelligentsia; they aro the Arts-
men. Hence they always retain their
pseudo-sophistication. Tlio scars remain hidden, yot, persistent.
Now, could thoy lay aside their
mantle of sophistry thoy could
achieve a simplicity. Could Uiey
discard their affectations, their conceit, and their indifference they
loulil Rain wisdom, nut it would
not be a wisdom gained through
useless, compiled information; but
rather a wisdom gained through
organized observation and controlled  thought.
In attaining this simplicity and
wisdom the Artsmen oould reach
their   ultimate,   a   Nirvana   on   earth.
The    ll.t'.T.F.    mid    tho     Pducut loiml
Class will hold their annual danoe
io tht- llrock Memorial Huilding tonight. Dean and Mrs. Buchanan,
Or. and Mrs. Cameron will bo patrons.
The executives of tlie l'Mucation
Class consisting of Hob P»orroughs,
Phyllis- Wales, Janet Aitken, Margaret Dwia, Lea Martin, and Howie
McPhee, are in chargo of arrangements.
Dancing will he rrom 0 till 1 to
Prod     Hollingwort b's    orchestra.
"Lu Ciumdieime" will moot at tho
homo of Or. D. O. Evans, 5662 Chancellor   P.lvcl.,   tonight   at   8.
Major VV. O. Swan will spook on
war-time work of the Supplies Board
today noon in Applied Selenee 100.
Open House announcements of the
University Engineering; Society will
also   be   made.
BELOW
THIS
BEAK
By VECTOR
Klsowlicre in this issue appears some senior geologist 's
protest against the Jilni.se of the
(ieology Heading Room by certain junior Sciciicenicii. 'Phis
senior lias legitimate grounds for
complaint, but he has merely uncovered one angle of a deplorable
situation existing on this campus. I
refer to tlie mental insularity of the
major portion of the student body.
CULTURE  DISSIPATED
How many students realize that by
o^erdlligent application to their books
they are practically wasting four or
five years of their humdrum livas?
How many realize tlie fun they are
needlessly missing? If all the cultural
opportunities that are dissipated
every day on this campus were laid
end to end they would comprise a
potential influence strong enough to
change  the  course of  this nation.
All will agree that a great advantage of an university education ts Its
influence upon manners and opinions.
Success in life consists In getting
along with one's fellow men. The
sincere greeter, the easy mixer, and
the versatile speaker will go much
further with less effort than will the
honors bookworm who never learned
to conduct a meeting or to win an
argument.
WHY   BOTHER?
Any currlcular course can be learned at home from a text. To our bookworm any correspondence school offers tuition in any subject he cares
to study, and offers the tuition at
much lower cost than can the university. Why. then, do we have universities?
To the man who would make full
use of an university education, this
campus offers Innumerable opportunities for social and intellectual
self-advancement. The enviable ability to speak on one's feet may be
cultivated in any of several discussion
clubs at no cost to the aspirant. Musical and dramatic promise may be
developed by clubs existing for that
purpose. Extra-curricular technical
knowledge Is disseminated in the
meetings of a dozeii technical societies. Trustworthy friendships and
valuable contacts await any member
of these organizations.
".   DO  NOT  LIKE  THEE   .   .
By whatever criteria ye judge, participation in extra-curricular activities i.s necessary to realize the advantages of a university education.
To quote Dr. MacLeod of the Department of Mechanical and Electrical,
"The real standard attained at university Is measured not by the list of
marks in the registrar's office but by
the Impressions made on other people."
Now, there is no one, not even a
Senior mechanical, who cannot in six
evenings a week do the amount of
work necessary to fulfil his scholastic
requirements. There is no necessity of
Junior sclencemen working mathematical problems ln the Geology
Reading Room, nor of freshmen
copying Biology drawings in the
Periodical Room.
STUDENTS   AWAKE!
All around us is a. world crammed
with opportunities for intellectual
and social broadening. Let every
student then awake to thesse possibilities, and forsake the narrow
path of currlcular learning for the
broad highway of a real university
education.
SCIENCE BALL
(Continued  from l'age 1)
.•la.iiiHiring for same. If any tickets
remain on Tuesday they will be
offered to thoso dnspnndents of the
arts faculty and thoso corn-huskers
of the remaining faculty at NO INCREASE IN PRICE NEVER A
OOVER CHAROE AT ANY TIME
AT THE SCIENCE BALI..
SLIIH'.-KULI-   LKADICRS
Under the capable leadership of
popular S.M.U.S. Prexy Chas "Duke"
Lighthall, the executive, consisting
ol Master Slip-stick Sliders Roy
Bogie, Rox Parker, Charlie "Cas"
Parkov, Bud "Roaring-the-whtte-
man's" Burden, Charlie "Jittorb "g"
Nash, and popular loaders of Sc, 42
and 43 respectively, Oordon Rogers
nnd Mack Buck: has delved into the
minutest details of the plans for this
coming   Super-party.
And so we leave with this thought,
Sclencemen, dodge the Discipline
Committee but havo yourselves n.
t ime.
Engineers . . ..
THIS   IS   YO'l'It CIIANCK
Give HER a Corsage she will always remember
To commemorate an occasion she should never forget
RITCHIE'S
.•"or details of our Special 'VAI.I'.NTJMi. COHSAflKS see
Harry or Hugh Ritchie on the campus
or phone MArine 2824
RITCHIE'S
840 ORANVILLE
For Speedy Delivery
VV.mSJVS*V*m*^mJVJ^.m+*V^S*mSSS++*JWUVSSJ,JVS*n2V,*mJ^J
UNIVERSITY BOOK STORE
Ilrs.: 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Saturdays, 9 a.m. to noon
LOOSE LEAP NOTE BOOKS,  EXERCISE BOOKS AND
SCRIBBLERS
AT REDUCED PRICES 5
Graphic Engineering Paper, Biology Paper, ALL  YOUR $
Loose Leaf Refills, Fountain Pens and Ink        BOOK  SUPPLIES        !■
and Drawing Instruments. SOLD HERB S
ft_^^^VW^iiWAr'W_^rtrtArtAArtrtrt^^^^^^-^-ftftArt^_ft_l_fl^^PW_rtrtArtfl_fl_rtrtrt_%
Now Playing
WHAT'S FLAYING IN DOWN TOWN THEATRES
Nelson Eddy llona Massoy
ln
«<
BALALAIKA
»»
CAPITOL
Preston  Foster
Alan Drew
tn
"GERONIMO"
and
Jackie   Cooper Betty   Fields
ln
"SEVENTEEN"
STRAND
Joan Bennett      Adolphe Menjou
ln
"The Housekeeper's
Daughter"
and
JOE  I*.- BROWN
"BEWARE OF SPOOKS"
ORPHEUM
WM.  JOVVELL       MYBNA LOT
'Another Thin Man'
ALSO
HOPALONG   CASSIDY
"Sante Fe Marshall"
DOMINION
C. O. T. C.
ORDERS
Orders   hy   I.iout-Colonel   fi.   M.
Sliruin,   M.TvT.,   Commanding
CB.C  Contingent,  CO.T.C
PART 3
No. Feb. 8, 1940,
Vancouver, B.C.
1. EXTRACTS:   DISTRICT  ORDERS
No. 19. dated 5.2.40: Attachments:
C.O.T.C, British Columbia University
Contingent—
2nd Lieut. J. M. Roberts. Corps
Reserve of Officers, Alberta University Contingent, is attached for military training under the provisions of
para. 74, Instructions for the C.O.T.C,
1936, from the 18th December, 1939
to the 30th April, 1940.
•t. STRENGTH INCREASE: The following men. having been duly attested and sworn, are taken on the
of the U.B.C. Contingent,
with  effect   from  8.2.40:
strong til
C.O.T.C.
Reg't
No.
827
828 "    '
829
830
■',.  STRENGTH
Rank
Cadet
Name
Elsdon, W.  D.
Alder, H. E.
Weston, S.
Bailey. S. J.
DECREASE:     To
be
struck  off strength  as  from  8.2.40:
ISeg't
No. Rank
442 Cadet
532
549
687
783
784
•1.  PROMOTIONS:
Name
McOlll.  D.  A.  C.
Lang. S. J.
Poyston, P. S.
Herring, P. S.
Campbell, A. P.
Galloway. J.  a.
The Commanding
Officer is  pleased  to approve  the  fol
lowing
promotions  with   effect
TO  BE  C  SGT.
8.2.40:
Tho Alpine Club show skiing and
niountn mooring (11ms in tho Auditorium of the P.ayview School, 7th
Avenue and Collingwood .streets at
8   p.m.     Price   one   quarter.
Regt
No.
Rank
Name
nil
C
Cpl
Moore.   V.   C
515
Filteau, J. F
558
Lowe.  R.   A.
704
Morrison. C.
TO
BE
C   CPL.
Reg't
No.
Rank
Name
481
Cadet
Shiver,,   A.  B.
485
512
514
521
567
570
592
601
611
636
640
651
653
655
670
694
711
717
728
733
742
744
748
749
758
765
789
794
797
802
810
Oarrett, J. S.
Metford, L. J. S.
Ewlng, J. K.
Watt, A. W.
Wilkinson, E. W. H.
Baldwin, J. B. O.
Harman. J. H.
Wllander, W.  A.
Munro, H. O.
Orant, D. B.
Malkln, J. M.
Wilson. J. R.
Wood, C. K.
Conway, J. J.
McKle, A.
Hargreavee, O.
Carroll,  A. T.
Bull.  E.  B.
Thurston, K. T.
Rush, F.  F.
Adams, K. G
Vance, T. C. B.
Rlcardo,   D.   W.   C.
Nell.  W.  J.
Lutes. A.  W.
Mahon. H, B.
Bolton, F. D.
Tames, J. A.
Austin, C. VT
Heise,  H. W.
Brown.  R. M.
5.  LEAVE   OF   ABSENCE:    Leave   of
absence is granted as follows: Lieut.-
Colonel G. M. Shrum. M.M. from
20.1.40 to 1.2 40. (Ref. V. 22-S-495 and
District Order No.   10.)
(W.  H.  Barton i,  2nd  Lt.
A/Adjutant
U.B.C  Contingent, C.O.T.C.
If she i.s bored  .  . .
Exciter.
If she gets too excited .  .  .
Controller.
If she won't come home on Ume . . .
Coaxer.
If she will come half-way . . .
Meter.
If she will come all the way . . .
Receiver.
If sho is too fast  to stop  .  .  .
Dispatcher.
If she is an angel .  .  .
Transformer.
If she Ls a devil  . . .
Converter.
If she  trios to doublecross you  .  .  .
Detector.
Tf she  proves  your  fears wrong .  .  .
Compensator.
If  she   proves   your   fears   right   .   .   .
Arrester. Tuesday.   February   13.   1940
THE      UBYSSEY
Three
U.B.C. ENGINEERS OBTAIN PROMINENCE IN INDUSTRIAL POSTS THROUGHOUT THE WORLD
Bring Recognition to High
Standard of the Eng. Faculty
By ARVID BAOKMAN
To what corners of this troubled world have student engineers,
graduates ol' the University oi! British Columbia .''acuity ol!
Applied   Science,   roved   to   make  their   contribution   towards   the
"   civilization?   What   per-" ;—: :	
emained in, mechanical engineers graduating
from IT. I i.e. is Harry F. O. Let-
son, Ph.D.; the (irst graduate in
Aleeluinie.il Kngineering. Formerly Associate Professor of Mechanical Engineering at U.B.C, Past
President of the Professional Engineers    of    British    Columbia,     and
advance    of
centago   of   these   have
their      homeland      to      develop      and
organize   the   national   resources?
WE   ARK.   WU   ARK   .   .   .
•Where are they? Those engineers
who in the past glorified the true
science spirit, those seven hundred
and more graduates who have created a tradition of service, responsibility, and ingenuity throughout
the thirty-three years' existence of
a Science Faculty In British Columbia.
*
Perhaps the records will tell . . .
CHEMICAL ENGINEERS
Since C.A.H. Wright graduated from I'.H.CAin 1917 as the
first Chemical Engineer, 158
more Soienoemen have graduated either as Chemical lOngineers
or as Honor Studenta In Chemistry.
Through the years some of these
chemists have scattered to obtain
employment in Japan. England,
California: but the most of them
have stayed close to home working
for such companies as Canadian Industries Limited, Consolidated Mining and Smelting, B.C. Pulp and
Paper, Imperial Oil
Standard   Oil.
Shell   Oil,   and
BILL   CLARKE
Head   of   Chemicals
Tho Hist graduate, C A. H.
Wright, now a member of the University Senate, is employed as He-
search Chemist for the CMS. Co.
at    Trail.    11.    I.    Andrews,    Class    of
1920, is chief Chemist for the Powell
River Pulp and Paper Co. at Powell
River;    D.   McK.    Morrison,   Class   of
1921, is Chief Technologist for the
Shell Oil at Montreal; while W. W.
Payne is with the B.C. Pulp and
Paper at Woodflbre, as Chief Chemist.
D. F. Stedmun, '22, is Research
Chemist for the National Research
Council at Ottawa; likewise are
W. E. Graham, '23, and Lisle Hod-
nett, '33. S. R. McDougall, '24. Is Research Chemist for the Northern
Electric Co. of Montreal; C. C. Lucas
'25, is Assistant Professor of Chemistry at the Banting Laboratory of
the University of Toronto; A. V.
Rhodes, '30, is Development Engineer for the Standard Oil at Elizabeth,   New  Jersey.
Of the more recent graduates
•I. K. Lawlcy Is Head Chemist for
the Pioneer Mine at P,rldge River;
it. O. Fordyce is with the Cellulose
Research Laboratories at McGiil
University; T. L. Brock Is with the
Mass. Institute of Technology; C. H.
Davenport is continuing his education under the Or. P. J. Nicholson
Scholarship and .lack Davis is at
Oxford as Khocles Soholav.
MECHANICAL  ENGINEERS
Outstanding   'amon_r    the     107
■*- »;. ,j.»;*,j« »j, •J, «j» »j» »j* «5» ,j» •}» -j* •;■» ►$* »s* 4* «|. 4* »|« *l
VARSITY SERVICE
STATION
Tenth   and   Illanca
"AT  THK  fiATES" '*-
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*J* ' Motoring" *;•
4. .-..:•••.••. ••-•*"-. .> .:.*.>.*.**-j.-5. *•>*+*•-. **i*
t
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*
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MART KENNEY and His Western
Gentlemen . . . available for private
engagements.
HOTEL
VANCOUVER
Fraternity   and   Sorority
Printing and Engraving
Our Specialty
DANCE PROGRAMMES
INVITATIONS,    'AT    HOME,'
LETTERHEADS   and
CHRISTMAS CARDS
GEHRKE'S-
5fi(S Seymour St.
•loppSng Alboiuit
with.
cience Mann
HEC   McLEOD
Head of Mechanicals and Electrical-
Managing Director of Letson and
Burpee of Vancouver, he now is
Lieut.-Colonel Letson, commanding
Officer of tho 14th Infantry Brigade
at  Vancouver.
Eric M. Coles, '22. formerly Instructor in Electrical Engineering at
his Alma Mater in 1922-26, ls Design
Engineer and Assistant to the Vice-
President of Canadian Westinghouse
at Hamilton, W. O. C. Scott, '22, who
obtained his M.A. Sc. in '23, is Assistant Superintendent of the Dominion Bridge Co., Vancouver; O.
Mcf. Letson Is Chief Engineer for
Letson and Burpee of Vancouver;
C. W. Leek, '27, is Chief Engineer
for W. Leek and Co.. Heating and
Ventilating Engineers, Vancouver.
•James Sinclair, Rhodes Scholar for
1928, is now private secretary to W.
J. Asselstine, Minister of Mines and
Industry. C. VV. K. Locke, '31, is with
the Engineering Department of
Pacific Mills at Ocean Falls; D.
Reeve, '33. is employed at the Port
Alice plant of the B.C. Pulp and
Paper.
Donald ('. Mel'hull, regarded as
tho most distinguished graduate in
the last decade in Mechanical Engineering, won the Convocation
Prize and the Carnegie Grant Fellowship at the California Institute
of Technology at Pasadena. Further
tribute to his extraordinary brilliance ls his winning of the 1851 Exhibition Scholarship.
MINING   ENGINEERS
Of the I5M graduates J'rom the
Department of Mining antl
Metallurgy, 47 are employed as
mining engineers in Hritish Columbia and Alaska. Yet some
have followed the trail of gold
and other precious minerals to such
remote places as Peru. Oold Coast,
South Africa, Philippine Islands,
Johannesburg. and Chlbougamou,
Quebec.
Dining the early twenties the
University produced such men as
N. D. Lambert, Engineer for the
Northern Construction Co. of Vancouver; It. ii. Anderson, Mining Engineer for tho Sullivan Mine at. VClm-
berley; II. T. .James, Ph.D.. Oeneral
Manager of the Pioneer Mines, E.
1''. Emmons, Mining Engineer for the
Beattie Oold Minos at LaSarre, Quebec; D. L. Thompson, Mining Engineer at. Sullivan Mine, Kimberley; and
.J. lt. Ulegerlch also of Sullivan
Mine.
G. C. Mcl.aohlim, Mill Manager
for    Noranda    Minos;    G.    C.    Lipsey,
Have Your Shoes
DYED
In the New Fall Fashion
75c
PRICE   LIST
Men's Half  Soles    15c
Men's Rubber Heels    SOc
Men's   I^-iither   Heels     40c
Ladles'   Top   Lifts     SOc
Ladies'   Rubber   Heels    23c
Full   Soles,   Rubber   Heels
and   Shine     $1.95
Shoos Dyed Ulaok    40c
Empire Shoe
Rebuilders
712   VV.   Pender
TRin.  4733
This year, as last, all you boys must go down to DUMB DORA'S
DRESS DOWRY to get some things for thu Science Ball. The entire stock must go . . . light, flimsy things with delicate mauve lace
for effeminate Artsmen, corn colored stuff with whisps of hay for
the lads from the Cow Pastures . . . and, YES, SIR ... it is the new
self-scratching red flannels for all self-respecting Sciencemen	
. . . and mufflers for any Alpha Delt who might get red lipstick
on his collar occasionally over at the University High School along
about lunch time . . . and larger mufflers for a certain Scienceman
who is talking about buying a trombone . . . wonder where she is? . .
(3 & &
Someone said that after the last Science Ball an Artsman, who
was feeling lower than innocent Artsmen usually do, tried to get the
gutter to cheer himself up but just couldn't make the grade 'cuz it
was full of Redshirts just crawling up. . . .
. . . this year we expect the one just crawling up will be the
Alpha Delt Kedshirt, who after getting a bid to a Theta party is
rushing his dates girl friend . . . heard her say stop. . . .
aaa
Now, girls, if you lack what it takes to get a bid to the Supreme
Ball, why not run down town and get it, advertise, and then go home
and wait for the phone to ring ... if you go with a Scienceman you'll
be in capable hands and do we mean in. . . After all if you give a
Scienceman a free hand he has got it all over you.
ti     a     a
'Tis rumored that Field Trips are a boon to the hard up seniors.
They become so interested they stay there all day and half the night . .
odd that these things never appear in the reports handed in ... or do
they?
. ... IN THE CAR WITH BILL?
aaa
So we will close with a bit of AUNTY PUTTER'S philosophy
from our little Red Book. . . . "Never eat feathers, you get down in
the mouth and . . . what is more important, never ridicule a man
for his snub nose . . . you can never tell what will turn up these days."
aaa
BALL? . . . OH! STOP AND GET A CAR FOR THE BALL!
aaa
Wc wonder who that Phi is who has been going around singing
"Josephine" ever shice he took an Alpha Gain queen to his pledge party.
►cience
M
ann
Redshirts Rise to Prominence
In Musical Soc's 'Gondoliers'
We   are,   we   are,   we   are   the
Engineers,
We're   going   to   hctp   produce
the  Gondoliers
Drink   rum,  drink   rum,   drink
rum and see the show,
We   don't   Rive  a  darn   whatever you  lam.
You'll enjoy It, that we know!
Gondoliers—Rah!
Yes.   students,   that   is   the   theme
song of that fine group of intelligent.--,
the Science  members  of   the  Musical
Society.
"fhese stalwarts include "Short Circuit" Oarth Wade, Science '54, and
prominent Redman. He is the man
who "sheds light on the Musical Society shows". As sole head of the
iight board, he combines his electrical skill with a fine appreciation of
art. The myriad, variegated colours
cast upon the canvas to produce light,
shadows and shades ol colour. (DO
you follow arts—without your precious dictionaries?! all are part of the
Wade rer-otoire.
SUBTLE  HAND
In the tense dramatic sequences
which are always a part, of the show
—when loading ladies faint or when
lead weights fall from the fly gallery
lo crash upon some unsuspecting soul
-who i.s again on the job?—Science
oi   course!
Personified by Nurse nnd soprano
Belli   McCann.   first   aid   i.s   instantly
Manager of tlio Chelan Mine in
Chelan, U.S.A.; S. A. Falconer, Research Chemist for the American
Cyanamide Co. Now York; A. M.
Richmond, Manager of the Wing-
dam Mine in the Cariboo; G. W.
Waddington, Mining Engineer at
Britannia  Minos.
Graduates since the depression
have obtained employment, as engineers, assayers, milt managers, and
metallurgists. ,J. A. rike, '30, ls Mining Engineer for the Pamour Porcupine Mines in Quebec; VV. K. Dob-
son is likewise Tor the Balotoc Mines
In the Bagnio group of the Phillip-
pines.
.J. C. Hall, '32, is Mining Engineer
for the Brakpnn Mines at Johannesburg in South Africa; N. S. Munro,
also of '32, Is Mill Manager for the
Kootenay  Bellt   Mines.
(To   be   Continued)
AFTER  THE   SHOW   .   .   .
Visit   Vancouver's  Most   Beautiful  Cafe
CHRIS'S GRILL
BELOW THE COMMODORE
After-Theatre Teas Fascinating Teacup Reading
applied    with    typical   Science    thoroughness.
Turning to the stage crew for "The
Oondollers," we find five engineers
occupying prominent positions. Melville Hansen, Charles Parker, Holmes
Gardner, Thurb Cu-shing and Eric
Mitchell have constructed with great
engineering skill, gondolas that float
(across the stage); have supervised
the pile driving for the wharves of
the Venice Orand Canal, and with
rare ingenuity, are able to transform
the Venetian canal scene into a magnificent palace, all within the brief
space of ten minutes.
SONGSTERS
But there is another section of the
"Oondollers" production staff we are
very proud to claim. To discount rumours spread by scurrilous artsmen,
we announce that there are five applied Science students singing in the
show, namely Al Day, Roy Deane,
Ron White and Victor Handforth—
and, the Musical Society Florence
Nightingale (we do mean Nlghtln-
gule)?  Beth McCann.
To complete the roster of Science
students with musical tendencies, we
have Bill Sinclair, virtuoso of tlie
Bassoon, as orchestra  manager.
As always. Science not only leads
in its own field, but can emulate tlie
Artsmen in their sphere, too. Rah!
Gondoliers! —-J. G.
Kaf Drama
"Who is that sitting in the Kaf?"
"Why, it looks like two co-eds."
"That's what I  thought."
"What in tlie heck are thoy doing?"
"They're sitting down."
"What, for?"
"You got me! Look's like they're
waiting."
"Waiting  for what?"
SO THEY INTERRUPT THE COEDS
"What are you faiting for. gals?"
"Science Mann."
"Why  Scienceman?"
"He's goln-,   to take   us   .   .   ."
"That's kidnapping."
(Contemptuous smile.)
"He's going to take us to the Scl-
01.ee Ball."
"What  Science Bill?"
"Haven't   you  heard?"
"No!   What?"
"It's Ihe Supreme Science Ball . . .
Popeye . . . Olo ... J. Wellington
Wimpy . . . Muck Lack . . . Sweepea
. . . Ka.sh Narle.s . . . Geczil . . . Park
Here  . .  . Oyl  .  .  . Light Chuck."
"I   like  good  chuck."
"Commodore   .   .   .   Thursday    .   .
EMIL MET  ETHYL,- SAW RED;
♦ * * * * *
And Created History With "El Stuffo"
VA Stuffo was discovered in
1H0IJ hy I'.mil Wurtzenheiiner
who, at that time, was working
011 the practical viscosity of
ethyl alcohol. I'.mil's alcohol
came In large kegs, and his appetite
came In such large desires that he
found he had nothing to work on
but the residues. On the evening of
July G Emll opened his last keg
(Montcressy '81) and again tried to
study the remarkably low viscosity
of the contents.
HE SAW  RED!
At 1:30 in the morning his experiments had consumed all of the alcohol with the exception of the usual
thick residue at the bottom of the
oak keg. Emil peered through the
bung hole to study the residue a
little  closer.
For   the   llrst   time   he   saw   "El
Stuffo."
In his published version of this
epoch-making discovery he stated
that the substance (undoubtedly
present as the monobetyrate) somewhat resembled a blue elephant clad
In red tights. This description will
help the reader understand the remarkable influence of this substance
which has occupied the attention of
Sciencemen for over a century and a
half.
QUITE HARMLESS
Many famous scientists later stud-
led El Stuffo; and many lives were
lost before intrepid experimenters
realized the potentialities of this
"Wonder Goo." However, the last
experimenter    (before    he    died)    re
vealed that there would be little
danger since the stuff was as safe
as nitro-glycerlne in a blast-furnace.
El Stuffo exists as a gas, solid, or
liquid. As a solid it may be either
metallic or cancerous. In any form,
it is very reactive. It cannot be
stored in water 01- exposed to the
air. Wurtzenhelmer's solvent—ethyl
alcohol—is the only substance with
which it does not react. Moreover,
only experienced Sciencemen can
handle El Stuffo. Now, if dissolved
in a sufficient quantity of solvent it
can be taken internally or smoked
without  any grave  danger.
THE   BLOW-OFF
Its antiseptic properties are truly
remarkable. Authorities do not recommend however, that it be used!
as a gargle, because gargling produces the gaseous form -which has
a negative molecular weight. The
gas usually blows off the top of the
unfortunate   gargler's  head.
The latest developments in the
science of El Stuffo is its recent synthesis from T.N.T. and perchloric
acid using pressures of SOO atmospheres and temperatures of from
—271 to 3.004 degrees C. This synthesis will be carried out for the
first  time at Open House.
Reserve your seats in the Science
Building basement early and note,
as you do so, a replica of Wurtzenhelmer's apparatus.
All proceeds to go to the "Fund
for the  Replenishment  of  Indigpant
Sciencemen."
Letters To The Editor
The   Science   Editor,
The Ubyssey,
Dear   Sir:
In the Applied Science Building
Dean Brock had fitted up the Geology Reading Room to house thousands of geological treatises, scientific periodicals, and civil engineering reference texts. The periodicals
can have cursory interest to anyone,
but the multitude of geological and
civil works can be of use to few beside fourth and fifth year men and
graduates. And since none of these
books may be removed from the
room, a dozen chairs and two tables
were provided to facilitate study.
OVE KCKOWDING
On several occasions this year
other senior students and myself
have sought material in the G.R.R.
and have been unable to examine it
comfortably because of the crowd of
second and third year students
■working math and physics problems
at   the   tables.
These    young    whelps    are    not
there to read the magazines. They
are merely doing their homework.
Now   we    believe    in    doing   homework;   but  in  the  right  place  and  at
the   right   time.   And   the   O.R.R.   is
no   place   for   these   whelps   to   usurp
others'   privileges.   There   are   empty
classrooms   for  those who ignore the
Library,     Spare     time     must     hang
heavily     on     the     hands     of     these
juniors  when  they  use  lt  thus.
Is the. Science course getting soft?
Obviously   the   lower   courses   must
be   stiffened   In   order   to   keep   thoso
juniors   out   of  other   peoples'   hair.
OLD   GUARD.
Editor's    Note—-Suggest   you   remove the Juniors to the Geological
Museum where they 'can be  gazed
at with wondrous eyes.'
Perhaps an Open House exhibit'
of these 'specimens' from the ti.
R.R.     would     create     considerable
interest).
*        *        *
The   Science   Editor,
The   Ubyssey.
Dear   Sir:
Many times in the past I have
gone out with ono of the most
charming co-eds on the campus.
Words cannot describe fully or adequately the charm that she possesses.
She resembles somewhat a golden
ray of sunshine- that has brightened
up  my  life.
Yet, she is temperamental ... in
fact so temperamental that I find at
times tho.t I am unable to understand her. I asked her to the Science Ball, which I hear is the event
of   the   year.
(She  said she  would   love  to  go).
But the thing that worries mo now
is just how I am going to adjust my
self to her varied moods. I know
from past experience that she will
pass through all the psychological
quirks . . . from a virago to an angel.
Can you, oh noble Scienceman, aid
me  in my hour of difficulty?
(Editor's Note:—Your request is
somewhat flattering seeing as I am
woman hater. However, I will do
my best to solve your very depressing problem. Over the weekend I
contacted the voice of experience. His gems of wisdom, gleaned
through intimate association with
the female of the species, are printed throughout this issue. Hope they
meet with your approval and solve
your   difficulty).
NEW ADDRESS
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312 W- Hastings
Phone MArine 1842
Coming Events!
A smart corsage from Brown
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lady-fair to really enjoy midwinter  parties.
FLOWERFONE  SEymour  1484
Joe Brown  (Arts '23), Mgr.
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coming  of  age party."
"Oh!   Can   we   go  too?"
(Raised eyelid.)
"Are you  a Sclencemarm?"
"Nooh!   Arts   '30.   '33.   '3(>.   '4f>."
"OooooH!   Yon  won't  bo  barred."
"OoooooH!"
Two Redshirts march into the Kaf.
Two Artsmen  disappear.
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I
j Science vs. Varsity
Great Extravaganza!!
Wednesday, Stadium
Redshirt Revolt
See Biig Insurrection
For Ten Cents
Four
THE      UBYSSEY
Tuesday, February 13, 1940
Soccermen ^X^in
Close 1-0 Game
From West Van
SUU mathematically ln the fight
after eking out a thrilling 1-0 win
over the tenacious West Vancouver
XI Saturday on the campus, Varsity
•occermeci have now only two games
to play in their regular league schedule. These contests are against South
Vancouver and the strong Kerrisdale
aide and ahould the collegians win
both of them, they will be tied for
flrat place with the latter team.
BIO CROWD
Thia week-end. before a crowd of
about 300 fans, the Hitchensmen
•cored their second straight win, this
time against the squad which held
Ihe Kerries to a scoreless deadlock
the previous week.
The campusmen took the lead after
about 20 minutes of the first half of
the tilt and wore never headed, holding the visitors scoreless throughout.
The goal came from the foot of Basil
Robinson after Ben Herd had dropped a long high one ln the goalmouth. The Blue and Oold attacks
were the highlight of the flrst half
with Roach, Todd and Robinson
coming close on numerous occasions.
The second half told a different
story, however. West Van. pressed for
practically the whole forty-flve minutes and were admittedly unfortunate
not to score. During this period the
Blue and Oold defense was a trifle
wobbly and was- only held together
by the Inspired tactics of Jim Robinson. A star all season, Jim stood out
on Saturday, breaking up play after
play and relieving the pressure with
well placed kicks.
Amazing!
•
THOUSANDS
OF DOLLARS
IN VALUABLE
PRIZES
IN THE
MOST
FASCINATING
HUMAN
INTEREST
CONTEST
YOU
HAVE EVER
SEEN.
NO STRINGS ATTACHED
NOTHING TO BUY
NOTHING TO SELL
NO ENTRY FEE
DETAILS IN
FEB. 21st
NEWS-
HERALD
CANADA'S     FASTEST
GROWING   NEWSPAPER
Read it on the Hus
Slick Slipstick Stars
Protect Perfect Record;
Trounce Pro-Rec 11-0
By THORNLEAF LARCENY
The Invincible Sciencemen have done it again! Their line
remains uncrossed ! Saturday saw the hapless Pro-Recs sacrificed
at the altar of the Great Red God—El Stuffo, to the tune of 11-0.
The MacConnachie-men scored all their points in the first half
before the befuddled Provincial boys had a chance to get rolling.
Townsend, Tucker, and Julep Joplin were the heroes, scoring one
try each, while Fraser Shepherd, the one man team, booted the
only convert.
The  second  stanza  waa   played   in*
reminiscent    of    Kaf
mud vaguely reminiscent of
KofTee. The players rarely saw the
pigskin but played on regardless.
Two-Ton Johnny McLean ably assisted by the Mcintosh twins turned
ln a sterling performance in the
front ranks while Tucker was flashy
as  Inside three-quarters.
SCIKNCK SIDELIGHTS: A note
of Informality was lent by Alfle
Allen, who played most of the second half clad only in his scanties
. . . Angus McFuddle, keeper of the
Douglas Cowpasture complained to
a gathering of players prior to the
match that the Rugby Union had
provided neither lime for marking
the grounds, nor coal for heating the
shower water, and that If something
wasn't done Immediately he would
take his field and head lt for Florida where "It don't rain." . . . Pro
Rees turned out with only fourteen
men so the referee put on a blue
uniform and handed the whistle
over to the Gymnasts coach who
produced some ingenious interpretations of the handling code . . . one
section of tho held had to be ruled
out of bounds because of deep mud.
All plays headed towards this Slough
were   halted   by   mutual  consent.
OTIIKB   FRONTS
Meanwhile the moro insignificant
of the rugger fraternity wore sporting ln Miller Cup games, with Varsity drubbing the lowly Marpole
fifteen 3i)-G, and the Ubeecees taking
one on the button from Meralomas
29-3.
In  the  Varsity   game ut  the   Stadium   Howie   Mcl'hro   scored   three
times, Sandy Lang twice and Stradlottl, Robertson, Mattu, and Richards   got   one   apiece.   Andy   Johnston    hooted   a   penalty   goal,   and
three   converts,   while   Sandy   Lung
converted    one    of    his.    The    half
time,  score  was  21-0.
Down  at Brockton   Point, however,
the    Junior   squad    was    being    flayed
by      tho      league-leading      Meraloma
Crew to the tune of 29-3. Alec Price's
penalty    kick    was    the    only    XT.B.C.
score.
ROWERS TRAVEL
TO CORVALLIS
The long awaited rowing meet with
the Corvallis College boys of Oregon
State will tako place next Saturday.
No loss than twenty-throe Club enthusiasts are embarking on Thursday,
enabling both the heavyweight and
lightweight crews to g^t in their final
workout  Friday  afternoon.
Interest i.s running high in the
American College, and the Oregon
boys are out to revenge their defeat
of two years ago. A Portland radio
.station Ls giving a stroke by stroke
broadcast, and thero i.s n possibility
the N.B.C. will also describe the duel.
LINK-UPS
Tho Blue and Oold crew has already boon selected. Jack Caldwell
will do the cox duties for both boats.
Crew captains aro Bob Mclntyre and
Trie Plecher. The heavyweight, crew
consists of Oar Vick, Terry Parsons,
Bill Lindsay. Jack Harrison. Bob Mclntyre. Pat Leslie. Lloyd Wilson and
John Slater.
Tho lightweight crew includes Barry Sleigh, Bill Lynott. Marino Fares-
so. Ken Keith. Dick Montgomery,
PhU Fitz-James, Eric Flecher and
Doug Patrick. Tho faculty rep will
be  Dr.   Ure.
B. BOE
RUGGER
ROUND-UP
by EL STUFFOO
Above centre is Bruising B. Boe,
great Scienceman of the Canadian
Football and English Rugby wars.
Back for some additional studies
this year, Barney has been sporting,
nf late, in the red shirted band of
Engineers, acquitting himself nobly.
JOKE!
A professor who comes into a
class ton minutes late Is rare indeed.
In   fact   he   is   in   a   class   by   himself.
ST. VALENTINE'S DAY:
Some of you may remember the St.
Valentine's Day Massacre which took
place in Chicago ln the late 20's. It
involved several of the better known
of the Windy City's bad men (as distinct from science), and was indirectly responsible for the great clean-up
campaign that is continuing even today. As a fitting remembrance to
those men who Initiated the sport of
"gang-busting", the Science rugby
team has arranged a re-enactment of
the  famous  blood  bath.
Tomorrow afternoon, Wednesday,
fifteen red-shirted men will oppose at
least twenty-flve Artsmen in the battle of the stenchery to decide who
shall represent the University in the
final McKechnie Cup game. A.H arrangements for the game are being
handled by the Applied Science boys,
and many special features are promised, such as coffins for all Science-
men who play for the Arts team, and
a memorial service at Union College
In the evening for those who 'failed
to return'.
A staff of trained mathematicians
lias been working night and day
trying to determine Science's
chances of winning but some delay
has been experienced over the fact
that an Artsman stole the Indicator
Diagram and a new one has to be
shipped from Che east, but the staff
feels confident that a conclusion
can be reached before tomorrow
afternoon.
BIOGRAPHY:
Tlie Science team exists largely as
a result of the work of two men: Dr.
Harry Warren, and Roy MaeConna-
chie,  both of  whom  wero Sclencemen
efathat4xtnaltfit
it
«*__*£&
CM«*
DELICIOUS
APPETIZING
HOrfS
THE   BE5T   CHOCOLATE   MADE
in their undergrad days. Their ambition is to see an All-Science team
represent Varsity ln the Inter-City
competition, and, we may say, If Science continues to improve as lt has
done In the past few weeks, this Is
not  beyond  the  bounds of  possibility.
A great deal of credit for the team's
success must go to Coach MacCon-
nachle who has given the team a
spirit that should be the envy of any
aggregation on this campus. It i.s to
be hoped that a worthy successor can
be found when he leaves Varsity this
fall with his Master|s Degree ln Geology.
The price of admission for Wednesday's titanic struggle will be ton
tints, ono thin dime, the sacrifice of
one of thoso things at the Georgia.
Por a coupla nickels you can see the
greatest struggle of  the ages.
Science Makes History
Eaven
Explains Evolution of Eager Engineers
, * * •«• * . *
De Latvd 'Gives Out' In Exclusive Interview
A  buck   is
i 'cntlcnu-r
Therefore
friend
LOGIC
i gentleman   deer,
aro   friendly   people,
every     dollar     is    a
dear
I
A   pawnbroker   is  a  man
off   the   flat   of   the   land.
ihe  Sheaf,
who lives
Sheaf.
The second day being Tuesday the
Lord said, (quote) Let there be an
Engineer's Rugby team to wallow ln
these swamps, (unquote). In the last
chapter covering "Monday", the Lord
made the swamps but had overlooked
wallowers; admittedly he had provided dabblers—artsmen and such,
but nary a good, swash-buckling,
be liy-in-the-mud-wai lower.
That  was  Tuesday.
On Wednesday the Engineers took
over from the Lord, partly because
he was busy and partly because he
has trouble with a slide rule. Just
before the Lord left the organization
someone asked him why the Engineers should suddenly have to play
rugby and was told to his amazement,
that, the purpose of the whole business was exercise—exorcise In a painless form whloh would take no time
from books.
INSIDE   DOPE
"You see," said Ihe Lord i who is
O.K. when you get to know him, but
I witches i, "there nre a lot of men
in this faculty who not only havo
held tholr noses firmly on the grindstone during tholr 2nd and 3rd years
of Engineering, but also during those
two years havo turned the handle
die on  the grindstone.
Now that Is hard on a follow and
tends to narrow his outlook, to say
nothing of producing introversion,
extroversion, and spavin.-,. In their
4th and 5th year those men should
relax, wallow, and become earthy.
(Shrill screams from avid critics of
all Engineers. "What, do you moan
become?"  Tho  answer  ls  earthy, i
So,   little   ones,   that  was   how   the
Engineers'   Rugby   team   was   horn;
as    heterogeneous    a    collection    of
material    as    was     ever     misnamed
athletes    But   as   It   turned   out,   the
Lord    did    have   something    on    the
ball.    (The   Science   Ball?)
Tho    tlrst    game    was    against     the
Seaforths.  a  hardy  group conditioned
at the instigation of  the government;
a group which appeared to think they
were conditioned for nothing but rug-
oy. The game itself was not the
thing; nor was the ball—but the man
—ah! Yes, the man! It was exciting
In  its  own  comic  way.
For 45 mlnutess play veered up and
down the field, from the Engineer's
touch line to the Engineer's 25-yard
line, and by that time every inch of
that part of the field had been used
—and well used—by 30 men and a
flock of Interested seagulls who dropped   around   to  pass   the   time  of   day
GULLIBLE
The seagulls wore clam-annoyed, as
i< matter of fact, that anyone else
should be swimming in their lake,
Alter these 45 minutes, the Engineers
lost a fullback and from there on the
Dare-legged laddies won, 6-0; a good
clean afternoon of mayhem if there
ever  Was  one.
Then the boys stopped into the
Second Division as played in these
parts—and continued to play the
same class ot rugby. Finesse, slide-
rides, and calculations havo become
strictly taboo. On the principle thai,
the worse possible score is a scoreless
draw as long as the other team doesn't cross tlio home line the Red Ones
nave since gone their merry way,
battling happily on llielr own touch
ime and occasionally squeezing over
i ne opposition touch lino for a score.
To date thoy have scored 20 points
m league play and havo had none
scored against them; they havo
beaten one First. Division toam, Mar-
polo, fi-0 and havo tied another.
U.B.C.   8-8.
The personnel is interesting. It's
the only toam that can boast of three
blind men. These three men can teh
the opposition sweaters but to date
none lo thorn reports having seen th*-.
ball during the course of a game-
but nl'tor all why use a ball? Six mon
men couldn't even spell ball 3 month*
ngo—these six are now new men ana
play a bang-up game. That's what
clean living can do for the morals of
the  younger  generation.
What we need ln this country is a
good fine song, that's my political
speech; it's not new but still effective
especially with the price of tobacco
•still rising. And then there's Alfie
Allen, 5-foot-nothlng of rubber; looks
as tho' a good blow by an 80-pound
olonde would kill him—but it doesn't,
-and nor does the collapse of two
oomplete scrums  on  top of  him.
HOOTS,  BOOTS
johnny Runkle. the Captain, and
r'raser Shepherd, the vice-Captain,
nave played before, and are thus in
a different, class; those two men lenn
tone to the team; they always play
in boots. Along these lines, one oi
cne green men, Earle Johnson, practised for a month and playect tnree
sanies before ho complained that ho
didn't mind the opposition standing
on ins bare foot, but the next time-
anyone dropped a rock on his toes in
the scrum he thought, he had good
reason   to   complain.
The Mcintosh twins provide further phenomena by refusing to wear
any of the accepted accoutrements
of war—"Shucks," say they, "as
long as we're decent, why worry."
There will come a day when they
will wish they had worn their head
gear.
Tomorrow the Engineers play Varsity—the Senior University team—at
tho Stadium (Advt). It doesn't mat-
tor if you don't know anything about
English Rugby, if you know all about
it and don't like it. or if you object
lo either Artsmen or Engineers be
there! Be there if you crave aotlon,
blood, and more action. It's to bo an
Arts-Science fight, transferred from
Ihe Lily Pond to the Stadium, <Frob-
ably Kt 111 moro effective in the Lily
Pond but tho frogs and the gods object.)
Hoop Situation
Will Be Solved
On Saturday
Things are coming to a head in
the Basketball Situation, these days.
The problem has disentangled iteelf
to this extent: both Angelus and
Varsity have one more game to play,
Varsity against Stacy's and the Angels  against  Maple  Leafs.
The Collegians have to beat the
loot-Fitters while the Leafs are
toppling the Hotelmen or else their
chances for a pluy-olT berth are nil.
CLOSE   ONE
The Students enjoyed a short-lived
position side-by-side with Coley Hall's
basketeers on Saturday by dint of
their overtime 28-27 victory over a
shorthanded Adanac five. Angels,
however, jumped back into undisputed hold on the third spot Saturday night with an upset win over
Tooke's.
With five men playing the whole
game, Adanacs almost slipped one
over on the spotty Collegians on Friday, carrying them Into overtime before  falling   behind  one  slim  point.
Now,     the   Blue     and   Gold   must
out-manoeuvre   Stacy's  next  Saturday   to   stay   in   the   running.   And
(hey are going to have a tough job
on   their   hands,  too,   for   the   Shoe-
men  almost  took  the  count  of  the
league-leading     Maple     Leafs     last
Saturday.
If    the    booterlans    hit   a    winning
stride,   the   Collegians   can   put   away
tneir strip  for another year.  If,   however they win,  then it  remains to the
Maple   Leafs     to    boat    Angelas   and
throw    them   into    a    third    place    tie
with    Varsity,    thus    necessitating    a
sudden  death game  between   the  two
rivals.
Compreimez?
GUTTER
SNIPINGS
By   SCIIEMO
This week, weary Salisbury Lodgers
are recovering from what ls probably
tho most, strenuous soccer game in
U.B.C.   history.
Twenty-four of the lodging house
roundballers booted the leather for
(wo solid hours Sunday morning, in
a vain attempt to break a 4 lo 4 tie
between the upper and lower floor
teams.
The absence of an official arbiter
led to unforeseen difficulties, which
were only soiled when each player
was   pronounced   a   referee.
Stars of Sunday's conflict., whieh
'.'.ill bo repeated when the would-br
snceermeii are alao lo discard then
crutches, included Erin Fiorollo. lower
floor captain who .scored three ques-
t inhabit- goals; Ed Benson, Seieuoe-
ii'un and self-appointed referee; Don
Pricket t. Angy Prove/a no and Alan
Gardiner.

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