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The Ubyssey Feb 26, 1926

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 Issued Twice Weekly by the Students' Publications Board of The University of British Columbia.
Volume VIII.
VANCOUVER, B. C, FEBRUARY 26th, 1926
No. 31.
Imperial Debate
Big Coming Event
The star University of British Columbia debaters will match their wits
on the evening of March 9th against
some of the best forensic talent of tin-
British Empire when they take issue
with the Imperial Debating team on
the subject "Resolved that Western
Civilization is Becoming a Degenerating Influence to Mankind."
Needlesa to say this Is the outstanding Inter-colleglate event of the year.
The vloltors have been chosen for
their outstanding debating ability
from the famous universities of Oxford, London, Birmingham and Edinburgh. Thus the present team is
even more representative of the student talent of Great Britain than the
Oxford team of 1925.
The Imperial team Is touring the
British Empire under the auspices of
the National Union of Students, which
is affiliated with the International
Confederation of Students. Their
programme calls tor debates on timely subjects with all the prominent universities of Canada, Australia, New
Zealand and South Africa. At present
they are on a triumphant tour through
Canada, and have defeated all their
opponents except two. If the U. B. C.
can defeat this team it will gain immeasurable prestige among the Institutions of learning In  the Empire.
The team consists of Messrs. A. H.
Molson, Oxford University, Paul Reid,
University of London, R, Nunn-May,
University of Birmingham, and T. P.
McDonald, University of Edinburgh.
They will be opposed by Varsity's
strongest debating team, consisting of
Messrs. J. Craig, R. Stedman and S.
Kobe. It will be remembered that
both Mr. James Craig and Mr Su*
suml Kobe distinguished themselves
in the debate with the Oxford team
on the subject of "Socialism."
The British debaters will arrive In
Vancouver on March 5th and atay until March 10th. With the exception
of their visit to Victoria during the
weekend they will be the guests of
this university.
The debate will bo held on Tuesday,
March 9th at 8.15 p.m. Tho M.L.S.
has secured Wesley Church for the
scene of the content. The University
Musical Society orchestra has kindly
consented to he present.
Tickets will soon be on sale for
50 cents and one dollar both at the
U.B.C and the Georgia Pharmacy.
Students should secure their tickets
early, as many were turned away
from Wesley Church during the Oxford   debate.
VARSITY MEETS MERALOMA
SWIMMING CLUB NEXT WEDNESDAY      AT      CHALMER'S
TANK,  8:30  P.  M.
Senior Ball Proves
Brilliant Success
All previous records for gaiety were
shattered at the senior hall on Monday
night, when Arts, Science and Agriculture made merry at the flrst major
social event ever held hy a united
graduating year.
The softly-lighted ballroom at the
Ambassador, was festooned with
streamers, nnd at one end the shlolds
of tho three faculties were placed high
up on the wall, linked together with
a blue and gold chain. Even the Ambassador orchestra platform was decorated  with  tho university crest.
Serpentine was plentiful, and favors
wero distributed hy f'harlle lllve,
president of Ag. 'ilfl, dressed as u
farmer; Hill Jones, president of Science '2ft, as a dlli'h digger; and
Johnny Grace, of Arts '2(1, who was
not allowed to decorate himself at all.
The usual supper rush was avoided
by the holding of a grand march, led
hy Mrs. Kllnk and Johnny Grace, and
Illustrious patrons und patronesses too
numerous to mention.
NOMINATIONS FOR THE OFFICE OF HONORARY PRESIDENT AND PRESIDENT OF
THE ALMA MATER SOCIETY,
WILL BE RECEIVED BY THE
SECRETARY UP TILL 5 P.M.
MONDAY,
Imperial Debaters
R. NUNN-MAY
PAUL REID
A. H. R. MOLSON
t. p. Mcdonald
DEBATE BETWEEN
AGGIEJ26 AND '27
On Monday noon, February 21st,
Agile. '21) and Agric. '27 met in forensic battle on the subject, "Resolved,
Ihat the Kunms Reclamation Scheme
is in the Best Interest of 11. ('. Agriculture."
lit uce Mcl'urrough opened the argument for the afllrmalive giving an
account ol the practical considerations Involved. Although the total
cost, of reclamation. $3. luO.oit. has far
exceeded first estimates, the expenditure is entirely justified, lie declared,
In that the Sumas land should come
up to the land of the Chllllwaelt Valley In productivity.
Herb Ross, the first speaker for
Agrlc. '27, based his case on the contention that Intensive cultivation of
land In other parts of the province
would yield greater reiurns. The
acreage under cultivation Is already
too large, and to open up new districts at such tremendous outlay for
Use in the remote future Is the height
of speculative folly.
George Dynes, Agric. '20, dealt with
Ihe economic arguments In favor of
I ho scheme. Willi the population of
Canada increasing at the present
rate, Canada will cease to export
agricultural products In SO >ears, lie
declared. II Is thus her duly to the
motherland to develop her lands and
increase her production to Ihe limit.
Leo Mallory concluded the argument tor the negative. In a char,
convincing manner he showed that
the scheiii" Is not practical from an
engineering standpoint and thai the
land cannot be profitably farmed because of the heavy annual assessments.
In a fiery rebuttal for the negative,
Mr. Boss smashed Into the stronghold of his opponents' position and
exposed some fallacious economic
reasoning.
Mr. McOurrough concluded for the
alllrmatlve.
The Judges, Prof. Hare, King and
Asmundson, gave Ihe deolslon to
Agrlc. '27, the negative.
Agrlc '27 next week meet Agrlc.
'29 for the Aggie Debating Cup.
Council Supported In
Present Program
By Students
At the Alma Mater meeting held on
Tuesday noon, a report on tho condition of the A. M. S. treasury was submitted.
The report that the heavy programme of international and local
events had so drawn on the funds of
the society that the treasurer had to
exercise great tare in order to reserve
some cash for next year's council to
operate on at the commencement of
the term, 1926-27.
Mr. T. Wilkinson explained lhat if
next year's programme was as exacting on the treasury as this year's
has proved to be, a deficit will result
hy the close of the academic year,
1927. If this occurs, the council of
1927-2S will have no funds to begin
their olllce with, as the A. M. S.
monies, taken with tuition fees hy the
bursar, are not turned over to council
until the administration books are
closed in  November.
Mr. Charles Mottley suggested as a
means of continuing with a heavy
programme of events next year, that
danger of depleting the funds could
be averted by increasing the Alma
Mater fees to ten dollars. This new
levy would Include (lass fees, which
now are collected apart from other
academic fees. The classes, must
then, In the fall of the year, submit
to council individual budgets of proposed  (lass   expenditures.
The council under the proposed
system would allocate tin monies re-
quired for class administration on a
proportionate   basis.
To this suggestion there appeared
Utile response. The meeting showed
no desire to have Alma Mater fees
Increased  next  term.
The Buraar announces,
through the Ubyssey, that there
la absolutely no foundation for
the rumor, at present being circulated by unknown person*,
that Science tuition feej are to
be raised next yea".
FRESHMEN TRIUMPH IN
ANNUAL ARTS '20 RELAY
Seniors Run Splendid Race; Come in Second
Art '28
Arts '28
3c
). '28
1. Vorcohere
1. Bulger                1
. Jones
2. Balmer
2. Selby                  2
. Morris
3. Gallagher
3, Chile Buchanan   2
. Crawford
4. Catteral
4. Dalton                 1
1. Mooyboer
6. Smith
Arts '29           5. Stewart               E
». Tupper
C. Crees
1   Dunn                  6- Dav-es                f
1. Terhune
7. Vincent
2. Hyndman            ?■ "W^man            ,
3. Burgess              8- McWIlllams        t
f. Sinclair
8. Ball
). Farrlngton
4. Hockrldge
Arts '27
5. Winter                        So- '27
Agrlc.
1. Elliott
6. McDonald           1. Shannon             -
1. Wells
2. Bailey
7. Chappell             2. Millar                  i
I. Tarr
3. Dalrymple
8. Taylor                3. Nunn                  S
1. Ollmour
4. McLean
4. Phillips               -
. Carson
5. Groves
5. Hartley              I
i. Thornloe
0. McKenzie
G. Gordon               I
. Luyatt
7, Clark
7, Elley                  7. Verchere
8. Mottley
8. Brown                i
i. Newcombe
The Race at a Glance
Lap
Arts
i
Arts    Arts
Arta
8c.   |   Sc.
Ji    Agrlc.
	
1
'29
'28   !   '27
'28
'29
'28
•27   j
7   |   8   1   1   1   4
i        '        i
5
6
3   |   2
i
2
5   1   4   1   1
2
8   I   7
l
3   1   8
1
3 	
4 	
5 	
6 	
7 	
8 	
115   12
1
3
7
__
8
4
6
i         i         i
1   j   5   !   3   1   2
i        !        ;
8
4
8
1   (   5   1   3
1        i
2   I   7   1   8
4
6
2
1
5
5
3
1
8   1   7
4
6
3
2
2
8
8
7
4
6
1
5
3
7
4
6
Under almost ideal conditions the
annual Arts '20 Relay was run off
on Wednesday noon. Arts '29 crossed
the line flrst, followed by Arts '2(i.
Arts '27, Science '27, Arts '2S, Agriculture, Science '28 and Science '29,
in Hie order given. The official time
was  31:5 2 >/2.
The piece de resistance of the
Track Club's activities, proved to be
of unusual Interest, rousing consld-
eiahle enthusiasm among the student
body. Pat Tnvlor, of the Freshman
Cass, finished with a lead of about
inn yards over Ralph Ball of Arts '26.
Taylor finished up in good shape and
was not forced to his limit. Charlie
Mottley of Arts '27 came third with
a splendid finish, with Red Brown of
Science '27 right on his heels. This
was the closest finish of the race.
Harold McWIlllams of Arts '28 ran
the last lap In fast lime but was too
far behind at the start to hope to
catch his leaders. Fred Newcombe
copped sixth place for Agriculture,
with Farrlngton of Science '28 and
Ireland of Science '29 not far behind.
The time for the lap was .1:1-IV...
The outstanding features of the
in"e were the passing of four men by
Tommy Burgess of Arts '29 In the
third lap, when the Freshmen climbed
from fifth to first place, and tho running of Jack frees of Ats "2(1 In the
sixth lap, when he stole first place
from   McDonald  of  Arts  '29.
Lap by lap the race went as follow s:
First Lap. This was a long lap,
tliouirh partly down hill, and the lime
made was fast Al the end of this
lap the runners were closely bunched
with Elliot I of Arts '27 beating out
Wells of Agriculture by a scant IV w
feel. Shannon of Science '27 finished
a strong llilrd followed by Dave Verchere of Arts '2(1. At Ibis stage the
Freshmen had not entered the picture, and finished sevetnh. Elliot's
time was  1:40.
Second Lap. The second lap was
also long and resolved Itself Into a
iaca between Bailey of Arts '27 and
Ian Balmer of Arta '26. The former
held his lead. Science '27 were still
third, while Hyndman of Arts '29
climbed from seventh to fifth place.
Selby  brought  Arts '28   from last to
fourth  place.    Time, 4:59.
Third Lap.---It was in this lap that
Burgess put the Freshmen in the limelight by his spectacular gain as recounted above. Dalrymple of Arts '27
was in second place with Gallagher of
Arts '26 third. The time was exceptionally   fast-3: IS.
Fourth Lap- -This was the short
up-hill lap, and il put the teams almost in the order in which they were
to finish. Hockerldge kept tbe lead
for Aits '29, while Cotteral took second place for Arts '26. McLean of
Arts '27  was  third.    Time, 2:59.
Fifth Lap.—The teams kept their
same positions in this lap with Winter, Smith and Groves finishing In this
order for their respective classes.
Sixth Lap.—Arts '29 lost the lead
In this lap due to the remarkable running of Crees of Arts '26. At this
stage It looked as though the Seniors
might upset the dope and pull through
with a win. Science '29 and '28 continued their battle for the last two
places, the latter taking the lead and
holding It to the end.
Seventh Lap.—-In this lap Arts '29
took the lead which they dually held.
Chappell of the Freshmen passed Vincent of Arts '26, which proved to be
the deciding factor. But Clarke of
Arts '27 narrowed the gap between
himself and the first two men nt this
stage. The rest of the teams kept
their *anie relative positions. Time,
4,05.
Eighth Lap. This lap finished as
described   above.
All In nil the race was a great success. The time was fast over (lie new
course and will provide something for
future teams to shoot at. Judging hy
the enthusiasm displayed by the students this race does not seem to have
lost any of lis appeal by the alteration of the course. Arts '29 Is to be
congratulated on being the second
Freshman class to win the Arts '20
Relay.
Stale  College of Washington,  Feb.
21th (P.l.P.A.) Dancing Is by far the
most popular form of amusement at
this college, according to statistics
recently compiled by the college news
olllce. Out of a total of 2600 students
only 34 are unable to dance. f»l     TT     T7»
T ±1 th
TT   T>    TT   n   n   111   TT
February 26th, 1926
®ty Ibpa^jj
(Member of Pacific Inter-Collegiate Press Association).
Issued every TueBday and Friday by the Student Publications Board of the
University of British Columbia, West Point Orey.
Phone: Varsity 1434
Mail Subscriptions rate: $3. per year.   Advertising rates on application.
Editorial 8taff
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF—A. Earle Birney.
Senior Editors—Miss Sadie Boyles and Miss Marlon Smith
Associate Editors—David Warden, Don Calvert, Miss Kathleen Baird and
Miss Florence Cassidy
Feature Editors—Eric Dunn, E. Morrison and Q. Vincent.
Assistant Editors—Miss Dorothy Arkwrlght, Miss Alice Weaver.
P. I. P. A. Editor—George DavldBon.
Business 8taff
Business Manager—Harold 0. McWIlllams,
Advertising Manager—J. Stanley Allen.
Circulation Manager—Dlgby Leigh
Edltora-for-the-laaue:
Senior, Marion Smith; Associate, Florence Cassidy
Assistant, Dorothy Arkwrlght.
EDUCATIONAL INDIFFERENCE
If undorjrrndiuitoH are to prolit from tin- exiiniple of "tlmsc who
havo gone before," a sad mistake litis been made by applying such it
maxim to the University of British Columbia. Those of our graduate body, and who might be supposed to indicate the general altitude
of the the graduate, have proved the exception to the rule. We refer
to the fact that thus far nearly half of the members of "Education"
have refused to pay their Alma Mater fee. Those, moreover, who
have paid, in many cases have done so to enable themselves lo participate in debates, etc. Students in other faculties pay this fee as
one of the things incident to their participation in university life.
These members of "Education" have ignored it.
It is impossible to comprehend such an attitude. Members of
this faculty, as well as those of any other, receive the general student
privileges. They, as well as undergraduates, can read the Ubyssey
(a source of inspiration to them!) and can take part in whatover
activities are open to undergraduates. But is it fair that undergraduates should bear tho burden of financing student activities
with no assistance from a large number of the members of "Edueation," who obtain equal enjoyment from them?
We realize, however, that, these members may object to our
statements. They may deny that they take part in student activitien,
or they may say that much of their time is spent away from the University. Yet it is to be hoped that University spirit is a little more
widely diffused among the men and women on our campus than this
denial would indicate. Our attitude as an aggregate depends on
the attitude of each individual; and the members of "Education"
should be able to set the undergraduates an example of splendid cooperation, coupled with active interest in their Alma Mater. As
long as these members of "Education" remain in their present state
of indifference to student principles, the status of the Faculty as a
whole, in the eyes of the student body, will certainly not be high.
THE YELL LEADER'S POLICY
A fair number of students turned out for last Saturday's rugby
game, and the Rooters' club had full opportunity to function at its
best. The underlying purpose of this organization was very well
suggested by the article, "A Dangerous Admission," which appeared
in our last issue. Let us consider lor a moment this phase of athletics in other parts of the world.
American and Canadian students are astonished to see how
very few attend the usual college matches in European universities.
There, nearly all of them play games, and do not merely watch.
(Imagine an American football game at Harvard with a handful of
spectators!) If the on-lookers wish to give way to their appreciation
in the form of hand-clapping, or to their emotions in a more violent
manner, very well. But they consider organized rooting an artificial
device for injecting the "necessary" spirit, which, in their eyes, is
parallel to trying to stir up patriotism by artificial means. Patriotism is, of course, inherent; so is the true 'ipprecintion of <r;itnt's. Organized rooting, is, therefore, they say, too deliberate and coldblooded a method for the expression of true feeline-. It is insincere.
They put it on the same plane with the typically American idea of
"creating" tradition. It is tinged, they think, with sham sentiment
and forced enthusiasm, plus a drop of imbecility, which di'up makes
the whole parade "pathetic." Surely, they observe, people who
indulge themselves thus cannot have been touched by "culture"—
by that knowledge "of the best that is known and thought in the
world."
It is not our object here, however, to criticize rooting on ethical
grounds. In American universities, especially, it is held as a high
art. Some of them, we are told, are seriously considering whether
or not to give credits for it. Here, in Canada, the American college
influence with all its accessories, is very powerful; whether for good
or ill, we know not. Suffice it is that organized rooting is part and
parcel of our University system, and it seems that all we can do is
to accept it as such. What Ave are going to criticize, however, is
the policy of the yell leaders, or those who dictate to them.
While we admit that the most important perquisites for yell
leaders are lung capacity and looseness of limbs and jaws, wid an enviable trait of fighting an invisible foe (who is apparently rather a
slippery customer), let. us suggest that a sense of fairness be at Imst
a forty-third perquisite.
Now, at the game last Saturday, the rooters fulfilled their duty,
shall we say, to their Alma Mater by cheering on the Blue and Hold ;
but, even when the "Rep." team made a brilliant play or scored,
the Varsity, as a body, remained beautifully silent, with only a
feeble individual hand-cinp here nnd there. The yell leaders, them,
selves, stared into vacancy or looked listlessly down al  the ground.
This policy must be changed.    Xot only does it show poor br ling
and bad manners, but an ugly absence of the British traditions of
fair play. Some passing tribute should be paid metaphorically, a
dotting of the cap or a dipping of the sails a moment's pause, an
acknowledgement of our opponents' prowess, before the game goes
on again.
EXCHANGE
I'liiverslly of Nevada Women In
one of the Physical Education classes
here are being coached in the art of
writing willi their toes, and are rap-
Idly becoming proficient.
I'liiverslly ui Washlni'ion (IM I'.A )
Song Week v, III be observed here
ne\t week ending ill an all-Washing
ton son.: rally. The purpose of this
rally is lo familiarize students with
tlie I'nlvei'sliy songs and inalte Washington   a   belief   singing   college.
VICISTI
I have lost.
To me remain
The thoughts of failure
And of emptiness.
Of all that I have tried to do
Of all Ihe deeds,
The hopes, and hlRli ideals
Which have sustained me,
NolhliiR  Is  left.
There Is no hIku to show
Thai I have fouxhl
For truth and beauty;
My  dreams,  my  aspirations  and  my
hopes
All, all, are Kone;
Mad  1  hut   saved
One little gleam,
Oi   left one Utile mark
To show where I had passed
FhIIIuk, I would have failed content,
Hut there n iialns
Nothing.
II is better so.
E. J. I».
Correspondence
THE LAST WORD
February 24, 1926.
To the Editor of the "Ubyssey."
Dear Sir:
The discovery by Brlff Clown, recorded In Tuesday's Issue of your val
liable taper, that the late lamented
Cleopatra was of Grecian orlRln Is by
no means news, as, no doubt, many
readers may  know.
The Cleopatra referred to by
Shakespeare, according to the Encyclopedia    Britannica,    " became
queen of Egypt jointly with her brother Ptolemy Dionysus, whose wife, in
accordance with Egyptian custom, she
was to become." Thus It will be seen
that she was a Ptolemy by birth and
not married Into the line.
The Ptolemaic dynasty was one of
Macedonian rulers, hence Cleopatra
was In reality of Greek extraction.
The laugh this time is on the otherwise Impeccable Feature Staff of your
paper.
Trusting I may encroach on your
valuable space to this extent, I beg
to remain,
Your* truly,
W. ARTHUR MADELEY.
ALMA MATER FEES
The Editor Ubvssey.
Dear Sir: —
It was Indicated at the meeting on
Tuesday that financial ends would bo
as well served, by sufficiently large
attendance nt events, for which admission Is charged, as by an Increase In
the Alma Mater Foe. The latter, however, seems to he the more reliable
and   feasible  scheme.
If the foe Is raised, we should have
the same advantages as the money
spent directly on admissions would
purchase. This could probably be arranged by the sale, prior to the date
on which fees are due in the Fall
Term, of tickets which would sell for
two dollars, and would entitle the purchaser to substantial reductions In the
price of his own ticket to events on
the athletic aud oratorical program,
and to a reduction of two dollars in
his Alma .Mater Fee, To those who
had not purchased tickets, they would
be issued after the Hiirsar had paid
to the treasurer at the Alma Mater
society, the fees whlcli had been paid
to him.
This scheme should have three advantages, (1) the desired Increase tn
revenue, (2) a source of revenue early
In the fall, (3) an increased attendance at games, etc.
H. SARGENT, '29.
BUCK'S DRY GOODS
Men's Wear
SPECIAL
LADIES' SILK HOSE
Point Heel, 8 Shades
Per Pair   -    -   $1.00
10th AT TRIMBLE
Phona, Point Grey 554
DOMINION MARKIT
Jackson Bros,, Ltd.
NI0MI1T QflAOI
MEAT, FISH, POULTRY
Phone, Buy. Ilia
4th Ave., West, at Yew 8t.
010. W. JACKSON, Manager
FRESHIES LOSE
^DEBATE TO SOPHS
The cold, hard facts presented by
Douglas Telford and BUI Brown of
Arts '28, proved too much for the
brilliant oratory of Wm. Weekes and
Denis Murphy of Arts '29 in tho interclass debate of Monday afternoon.
The outcome of. this contest places
Arts '28 and Education '26 in the final
clash for the M.L.S. lnter-class debating shield.
The battle raged around the subject
"Hesolved, That Capital Punishment
Should Bo Abolished." The Freshmen did their host to sway tho audience in favor of the proposal, while
the Sophomores endeavored to swing
opinion In tho opposite direction.
Arts '29 undoubtedly had the best
speakers, but their eloquence concealed many errors In argument, Arts
'28 presented their facts clearly und
logically, and did not endeavor to
spend much time on puro oratory.
Judges   were   Professor   Hare   und
Messrs. II. J. C. Poore, Arts '20, and
M.  Pradolind, Arts '2(1,
. -.- -«•»
Life Saving Class
Formed for Women
Owing to tho great danger which
the present flooded condition of the
Campus presents to the student body,
the members ot the Women's Swimming Club have decided to Institute
Life Saving Classes. This la considered a very prudent and necessary
step, and should be supported by all
members of the club. Those who can
swim breast-stroke, and who have already had a few lessons In the gentle
art of Life Saving, should be present
at Chalmer's Tank, Monday afternoon.
In about two weeks the competition
for tho Bronze Medal will be held.
Time Is short and If any degree of
proficiency is lo be attained, the
coaches, Miss Thrupp and Miss Sharp,
will require the Immediate co-operation of all members wishing to enter.
Turn out for the first practice Monday afternoon at 6:30 sharp.
Members of the club who have received Life Saving Hand Books,
should note that these have not all
heen paid for. This Is .a matter which
can be easily remedied, so would all
in default please attend to It immediately.
W.U.S. Meeting Postponed
The meeting of the Women's Un-
dergrad, which was to have taken
place last Wednesday, was postponed
and will be held next Wednesday
noon In Arts 100.
The business of the meeting will
be to discuss the proposed combination of the Women's Union Building
with a gymnasium, for which the
whole student body would work, instead of the women alone as was
formerly the case. The meeting
scheduled lor last Wednesday was
postponed on account ol the poor
turnout, seventy women should be
present next Wednesday.
 «♦»-	
A lynching nearly occurred on Wednesday, when Jack Berry, Aggie,
strolled lino the office and asked if
the annual write-ups were due.
Women students at the Advenllsi
College n| Walla Walla. Washington,
are required to wear their dresses
within twelve Inches of the lloor. --Ex.
^
FIRST UNITARIAN CHURCH
1560 Tenth Avenue, West
SUNDAY, MARCH 7th.
11 «.rn., Flrat Appearance In Vancouver
Pulpit of
Rev. Ada Tonkin
7:30 p.m., a LKCTURK-SFRMON or.
"The Philosophy ol Omar Khayyam"
by the
Rev. J. Buchanan Tonkin
followed at 8:30 by a
SOCIAL HOUR and OPEN DISCUSSION
of the l.eclure-Sermon.
Unlveralty Students Specially Invited
f.tSi
FOR RENT
in n.w  block on UNIVERSITY
BOULEVARD, Near  Univar.ity
ATTRACTIVE
4 and 5-Roomed SUITES
with Open Fire, Gat, Etc.
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Also, LARCE STORES
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if
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THE   UBYSSEY
THING ii AfTtm   ANOTHER.
r.mMlftH   aWf 1»"
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Open from 9:30 a. m. to 1 p. m.
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PRe»yCERSiASSOCiATiON
KONTRIBUTORS'
OLYUM
aft*a*t«»4>«t«^^»tM»*a)«aa)«^ «  »
0 TEMPORAI   0 M0RE3I
8o.no i    Room 306
me
on ii.in.    Room |h empty,
li.'i ii.in,    Prof. nrrlvcH.
it) it.in. -First HtuiliMitH begin to arrive.    Aeneas   HttirtH    his   Journey
through Hades.
2D n.in.-Hill Hrown arrlvoH, Aeneas
continues to roiiin throiiRh Hades.
'10 ti.ni. -MtiHtcfHon, with Ills win
nlng smile, Yoiiiik, un (I others arrlvo.
"Hull," says prof, "WeHttnlnater has
arrived, eh?" Aeneas continues,
etc.
35 ii.ni.—Lazarus knocks, Btlcks his
head around the door, lookti around
cautiously, and plucking up courage,
outers, Aeneas continues remainder
of his Journey through Hades,
BO a.m.—A tremendous crashing
and scraping at the door, and (name
not published or dlsplayod by the
Feature Staff of the Publications of
Board of tho University of B. C),
ploughs In, panting—makes three or
four vain attempts to close the
door (which has made up Its mind
to resist his every effort)—aud gets
half-way down alsle—gong sounds—
class dismisses.
FRUITY
(An original contribution to the muck
Editor-in-Chief)
I have a "date" with my girl, who
Is a "peach," and we two make a fine
"pear." But ma has picked me out a
"lemon" for whom I don't care a "fig,"
—she's a regular "prune." When I
say I scorn her love, It. Isn't sour
"grapes," because my own girl Is the
"apple" ot my eye. Ma must be
"plum" crazy" to expect me to marry
the other "a/prlcot."—"Raspberries,"
ma!—Macaulay,
RACIAL TROUBLES
Hellevo me, brother, from now on
I'm through with races.
Once I said In tears,
"I'm through with Elsinore.
But anyway women
Have nothing on betting,
For only Wednesday
At the relay, I bet
My five dollars tea money
On '26.    But, when I
Came out the Library door,
Lo, the Freshmen were coming In
before!
— ♦■-♦-♦•—	
Menagorlst—Did you see my black-
faced Antelope?
Fundamentalist—Whom     did     your
blacked-faced  aunt   elope  with?-—Ex.
ir*********************-****
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Excellent features and artists
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Phone, Sey. 189      576 Seymour SI,
THE SHINE OF WESTERN
MOONS
By P.I.P.
Chapter VIII.—Tho Collar.
A great light dawned on Itodolph
Speedy, and lie looked like Madeley
seeing a Joke.
"So, you haven't a gold mine!" he
exclaimed. "You are a moonshiner
and  perhaps a  bold,  bad  bootlegger."
"Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!" said Curson,
as he snapped his lingers.
"Vmi have ulven tne a mental complex," said Speedy. "One of those
psychological Issues found in a modern novel. Shall 1 help a law-breaker?
-I, who never even betted on the
Arts '20 Itelay?"
"Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!" chuckled the
rancher, snapping his other fingers.
He paired and blushed as a sudden
pang of conscience Blessed him.
A loud crash and tho trampling ot
many feet told that the bandits had
smashed down the door and were now
Inside tho cabin. "Where's that little
brat?" came the voice of Captain El
Loco.    "Look  around,  ye varmints."
Carson and Speedy crouched low.
Would they be discovered?
A scuffling sound, a creak, then a
shout of triumph, were followed by a
wedge of light, Tho trap door had
boen found.
Old man Carson snatched the axe
fioin the tenderfoot's hand, and ran
to the still. With a (ew strokes It
was reduced co a pile of twisted metal
that could only be compared to some
of the Fords on the U.B.C. campus.
"Farewell, my masterpiece," he said
tn tho tone of a student who had
thought that Science '29 would win
the relay.
Speedy crouched beneath the trapdoor with a piece of copper pipe In
his hands. "Glad I took a pipe course
In the University," ho murmured.
A form leaped from above. Speedy
struck a blow that knocked his assailant as breathless as Tommy Berto
niter n rugby game. Another ruffian
jumped and was struck down. Old
man Carson rushed up with his axe
and waited.
Still the bandits came through the
trapdoor. The light waxed furious,
as tho room became full of struggling
forms.
(Continued on Page 4)
MAKING MUCK
/ SEEN TO-DAY
AT PENTICTON
Norm McDonald dismounting from
the K. V. "Rattler" at Summerland
with his shirt, collar, and tie in his
hand. Bill Gray asking the skipper
ol the S.S. Slcamous how tie dodges
Hie roeks in the log. Kuss Robinson's
girl taking him tor a ear-ride in Kei
owna. Hill Thomson going slag lo the
linnet' at IVnlieton Johnnie Swanson asking a policeman how late the
street cars run. Hubert King show-
inu I'ent icton how lo I'uss. Bernie
Gibson taking another fellow's girl to
supper. Ornaulf Anne's girl saying
good-bye to him at the station. Eric
Huestis paying all the bills and enjoying It.
TRUTH IS STRANGER
Our editorial position keeps us from
commenting too openly on a letter
appearing on the Editorial page.
Nevertheless, we cannot refrain from
remarking thnt Nature ahvays could
rise to higher heights than Art,
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HOME'S
ServlceJHatlon
OILS, GAS and
TIRE REPAIRS
Broadway and Alma
You people who never have to grow
hot-house humor really do not know
what you are missing, I moan, you do
not even obtain a far-off glimpse of
I hut piirtleulur brand of misery, mystery, and general hell, which Is reserved for mo anil my Ilk. You think
Ihere Is nothing to It, that It Is the
easiest thing on earth to sit down und
write trlpo, Well, It Isn't! Especially
with such a thick-headed bunch of
sycophunts as those must be who crltl*
clue this pngo. Take a case In point.
Take any Monday or Thursday you
like, and come und watch the Muck
Editors nt work trying to make up a
page. First und foremost we have to
run a serial, to pander to tho science
men, who revel in the red-blooded
hot stuff written by that egg, P.I.P.
Then wo have to consider the women.
Without an "I Seen Today" column,
or its equivalent, they would be hopelessly lost, so we sling In as much
scandal as we can, and go around for
days dodging the outraged victims.
Then, just as I begin to get happy,
along comes the peculiar brethren,
Mr, McQoockle and Mr. Bauterne,
with some caustic comments about
the Relay. I daren't offend them, ao
that has to be taken too, and I have
to ooze forth soft soap till they depart,
which they sometimes eventually do,
and more frequently don't. Then the
pub telephone rings, and like a fool I
go and answer it. to find that some
fond parent wants to get In touch with
her little Adolph, who takes either
Economics 39, or philosophy 40, at
eleven o'clock, and would I please tell
him to go to the dentist's after school
Is out. Why do so many stout citiaens
and fond parents think the Pub is a
sort of glorified creche? Well, to proceed, after lectures 1 gird up my loins
and stagger down to the printers, to
find the littlest editor sitting on the
table eating pie. She blandly Informs
me there Is no copy up yet, and asks
me if I am fond ot her. She always
asks me that, and I'm still puzzled
as to what the devil that has to do
with editing a paper! Can anyone inform me it it is newspaper etiquette
to profees a violent passion for all
the female element on the editorial
staff? Well, about an hour later the
copy comes up, and we will draw a
dark veil over the sticky orgy with
scissors and paste which ensues. We
pray Inwardly that the Editorin-Chelf
wont arrive. Alas! He always does.
He bonds over my trembling shoulder.
I quail with fear. He murmurs sweetly that my page looks very flat. I
agree hastily. I feverishly think up
a compliment and throw It at him. He
goes away, and the worst Is over.
About nine P.M. we disperse, and I
crawl home tired, but happy. Have 1
not once more served my Alma Mater,
and brought Joy to infant morons, and
have I not once again survived the
frightful, but alluring, ordeal of getting out a page in the company of
three Cleopatrus, without even a chaperon? "O."
RELAYISM
After the race was over, I elbowed
my way through the vast throng (most
of whom I had seen at the Arts '27
Class Party), and took the sweetest
editor down to tea. While I was still
hunting for the Jam, she put a question that had been puzzling her visibly. "Who," she queried, "Is this
Charley person all the relay boys were
talking about?'' I was surprised, to
say the least, because I had thought
the sweetest editor knew all the relay
runners. Why, she even knew a few
athletes. "Do you mean Charley
Horse," I asked skillfully, rising to the
occasion. "Certainly not," she retored,
"1 don't like horse races." I saw
Justice In that. "Mutuel, I assure
you." I murmured politely, She threw
a piece of toast at me. "The Charley
I ineiin," she persisted, "bus a name
like nil old-clothes liiiiii." 1 begun to
-■■•e light; she meant a tailor, "You
mean Tommy's Utile brother, Pat," I
cried. She almost wepl. "Ills name Is
('hurley," hIio snarled ulivugely. "Oh,
wall a minute, here be conies now."
I turned and saw the cliap-wlth-tlio-
name like an old i lot ben mini; ti o n e
oiler than our old friend las they say
in the nmelsi Charlie Mottley. I
blushed for the sweetest editor; who,
for all I lie time she had been here,
didn't know Charlie; bill Charlie bore
up \ I'i'i   well, considering
 ay- ---
What?
Two    urchins     watching    it    liarbvi
-inne  a   cusiDiiur's   hair.    "Gee,"  said
one,   "he's huniiii' 'em  wllli a light."—
Ex. THK   UBYSSEY
February 26th, 1926
SOCCER MEN TO
TAKEJ3N MINERS
The feature event ol' a small spoils
card this wek Is Ihe clash between
Varsity and Nannlino at Athhdle
Park where YIp will start the leather
rolling nt 2.30 (providing Nanaimo
wins the loss).
Varsity let everybody down after
making a wonderful rpuri inwards
Ihe end ol' January ami ll Is only n
mutter of mood which way Ihe game
will go. Should they show the form
they evinced against Westminster
and Lady smith there Is little doubt
that the locals will give the Nanaimo
stars all  the fight  they  want.
Nanaimo right now Is about the
most colorful side lu the league. Following a reorganization, the ex-Domln-
lon champs and last year's semi-final*
Ists are well up in the running, and
have surprised Ladysmith and Cumberland In recent games,
Manager Mercer has not Indicated
his selection, but In spite of the In-
Jury to Green, should be able to depend  upon a strong  team,
-»••-
Shine of Western Moons
(Continued from Page 3)
I will Introduce this sport into the
U.B.C," thought Speedy as he stood
with his back to the wall, warding off
hla foes. "It will be better thau
American Football."
More bandits hurled themselves
through the trap-door. "Farewell,"
panted Carson as the bandits closed
around him. "Good-bye," replied
Speedy, "I leave all my twenty-five
cents to holp pay the Increased Alma
Mater fees of ray fellow students."
Rodolph Speedy scored another
touchdown with his pipe on a bandit's
head, for now he was fighting for his
life. He staggered forward as a revolver butt split to pieces on his own
noble brow. A myriad of stars, as
bright as the spots on Bill Brown's
shirt, swam before his eyes. The last
thing he seemed to see was the fair
face of Dora Carson. Then black unconsciousness overwhelmed him.
Old Man Carson freed himself for
an Instant and hurled his axe at the
sputtering candle wedged in the wall.
It struck Its mark as true as Gwyther
converts, and plunged the cellar Into
the Stygian darkness described In
Latin 2. "I must git out of here and
get a posse," panted the rancher as
he flattened himself against the door.
"I guess Rudy's killed."
He made his way along the wall
until he was beneath tho trap door.
He sprang forward, leapt Into the air
and clutched the edge of the opening
above, Thoughts of Douglas Fairbanks came into his mind as be kicked
at two asallants below and swung
himself into safety. "Now to rescue
my daughter," lie gasped, "Am 1 too
late?"
Old Man Carson rushed through the
cabin and stopped at the threshold.
In front of hint was the Mysterious
Stranger leveling two revolvors.
"Hands up," said the cloaked figure
in a Rlddlngtonlan voice. "I arrest
you for making moonshine whiskey."
I have been on your trail for months."
"Who are you?" gasped Old Man
Carson.
"I am a Vigilant," replied the
Stranger.
"Holy Mackinaw" cried Carson in
despair. "What's to become of my
daughter!"
(To be continued)
Catfish or Dogfish
moreTmuck
We regret very much that we onci
called the student body a wolf. In
withdrawing this highly meritorious
condemnation we wish to brand the
actions of the said organization as
asinine. A case In point. Wednesday
nt the em! of the first lap supporters
rushed out upon the mad. Hy doing
so 'hey blocked the way It. those who
were somewhat behind the leaders.
Cousei|Uenily Ihe last lew runners
bad to light their way through a
crowd. Not only had Ihey lo do Ibis
but liny were also forced to endure
the presence of those speculators who
had stopped in the middle of the road
to compare ilulr odds. Now, to ask
it man to run his legs off and I lien lo
demand that for the last ten yards
he bunt his way through yelling enthusiasts nnd betters Is to be exorbitant. The Insidious tiling about It.
for runners, however, was that their
best friends had not told them to expect It. We hope that the student
body, on learning of this, Its latest
misdemeanor, will plant a few trees
In commemoration,
SHOULD SWIMMING
BE A MINOR SPORT
F.dltor. Ubyssey.
Dear Sir:
Shall swimming be raised lo a minor sport? The ri cent giory won by
the Men's Swimming Club ui the
I tn ti IT Carnival, has brought this Im
portailt (|lleslloll to the I font. All
season the Club has been dying lo
launch a program lor lo secure proper
recognition for Hits sport. The supporters of Hie cause feel sure that all
Ihe liroiidniinded students of the University will, If given the fuels of the
case, see the mistake Hint Is being
made In keeping swimming a sub-
inlnor sport. Therefore these men
have waited until the student body's
attention should be drawn to the
sport, Recent events have made
swimming one of the most talked of
sports at varsity. Now Is the tlmo
for the "aquurluns" to launch their
campaign!
The arguments In favor of such a
move are numerous, and very formidable. In the llrst place, swimming, of
all sports, Is, or should bo, the "native" sport of the University of B.C.
Why, then, should it not be treated, at
least, as an Important sport? Secondly, there Is unlimited opportunity
for Intercollegiate competition in
swimming. The Banff carnival, at
which the Universities of the four
western provinces competed, proved
the possibility and the practlblllty of
such competition. Thirdly, Bwlmmlng
Is a sport In which U.B.C. can compete with any college on the continent.
There Is no fear of the Blue nnd Gold
being humbled In a swimming meet
by a score of 69 to 0. No other University has a greater opportunity in
this field than U.B.C , whose students
live In constant sight of the ocean,
and about half of whose studonts have
been swimming In the bay ever since
they were six. The swimming Club
Is one of the largest In Varsity, having
an active membership of over seventy,
nnd tins proven Its worth. It is a
"live" organization, Is coming to the
front rapidly, and deserves a minor
standing in Varsity sport.
The main argument against this
proposed action, Is that if too many
sports become minor, this class will
lose Its prestige. Too many minor
sports will cheapon tho distinction of
that standing. However, the swimmers declare that their sport will add
to, rather than depreciate, the honor
of the minor division. And to back
their argument they have that beautiful silver cup, the coveted trophy of
the  Banff Carnival.
However, during the next few
weeks, supporters of both sides will
have ample opportunity to air their
opinions.
Yours  sincerely,
ROSS  TOLMIR.
Auto Repairs
Tire Hepairs
Battery Service
Ignition Work
Trimble Service Garage
GENERAL GAS
Oils and Greases
Accessories
Phone, Point Grey 606
4401 10th AVENUE, WEST
Vanoouver, B. C.
Phone, Point Grey 129
Moodies'Meat Market
C. H. Moodie, Prop.
CURED MEAT SPECIALIST
Frosh Meals, Fish, Poultry, Butter,
Eggs and Cheese
4395 Tenth Ave., Weit
B. C. £• R*
WAITING ROOM
And Ticket Office
CANDIES, CIGARETTES,
SOFT DRINKS,
GLACIER BARS, Etc.
ON SALE HERE
ALL FRESH STOCK
For Your Convenience
j Class and Club Notes
BIOLOGICAL   DISCUSSION   CLUB
The last meeting of the Club was
held nt the home of Miss Gertrude
Dowsley on Monday evening, February lath. Interesting papers were
-iveti by Alda Moffat and Braham
Grilllths.
The next noting will be held <>n
Monday, March 1st, at the home ol
I'i of. F. Dickson, 1«17 1211) Ave, W.
I'lipeis will be given on Modern 10volition bv Margaret Keillor, '27, and
Allison Maxwell, '27. All members
please I urn out.
LA  CANADIENNE
Al a recent meeting of La ('unit-
dieiine, held al Ihe home of Miss
Clara Mcljuan'b', Mr. Keniielli Millar
cave it most ileliglilltil liilk on French
iiiiisis of Ihe Grand Slecle, Mr. Millar showed points of the masterpieces
ol Walii'iiu, 1'oiissln ami Cliiirilin, and
also gave details of (heir particular
siyles.
An Important point brought up "I
Hie business discussion was Ihe eiee
Hon of new nieiiibeis. All students of
the present Junior and sophomore
yinrs (especially men) who are particularly interested in French should
send In applications lor membership
addressed to Miss Mollle Cottlngham,
Campus, up till noon, Wednesday,
March 3rd. These will be discussed
nnd voted upon at a meeting, which
will be held that evening, at the home
of Miss Clara Gould, X!)0 Broughton
Street.
Students are urged to take advantage of this opportunity of joining La
Cuuadicnne. Apart from the educational value which may be derived
from the fortnightly meetings of the
club there are also many pleasures
connected with it. Sophs, and Juniors
send In your applications at once.
LA CAUSERIE
Members of the present Junior and
sophomore years, who are Interested
in French, especially French dramatics, should note there are several vacancies for next session lu La Causerie membership list. Applications
will be received by the secretary, Miss
Mildred Lynn, Campus Letter Rack,
up till noon Wednesday, March 3.
fr**
HIGHEST GRADE
MEATS
FRESH DAILY
Your   Patronage   Solicited
POINT GREY
MEAT MARKET
Phone, Point Grey 14
Pt. Grey Pharmacy
H. W. Warner, Druggist
Your Patronage Appreciated
Phone, Point Grey 130
10th Avenue and Trimble Street
Point Orey 134       We Deliver
Woolner's Grocery
Tenth and Trimble
FULL LINE OF GROCERIES
AND PROVISIONS
Service
Quality
if, .a"a"tf»a-a-a*.a..a~a**—*-*-!«'
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During January and
February you can get
$50.00
Navy Serges
FOR
$40.00
Up-to-date Tailor
•*TT"fi ■''*•*'' £3S03Bdunvan*3-x& ststxza aiaasasytCTl
D. S. BEACH
10th Ave., at Trimble
Phone, Pt. Grey 131
Also, Dry Cleaning and
Pressing.
Letter of Thanks
On behalf of the Track Club Executive I would like to thank all the
Judges and olllclals for the relay and
also those students who generously
provided cars for the Caps. The olll-
clals deserve much credit for the
elllclent way In which they handled
Ihe rac, making It the most successful up to date, both Horn a competitors' and spectators' viewpoint,
Yours truly,
FRANK I0LLIOTT.
L08T—A Woods and Bailey Elementary Caloulas. Finder pleats re-
turn to Al Jaokaon, Arts '28, or to
Bookstore.
LOST—From setting In finger ring,
a large diamond. Finder pleaae turn
in to book-atore,
During
Alterations
BIG
REDUCTIONS
--- ON ALL -—
SUITS, GABERDINES,
OVERCOATS and
SHIRTS
C. D. Bruce
LIMITID
Cor. of Hailing* and Homar Sis,
ywvwwwwwwwwwvwvw^
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IN
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These new English Brushed Wool Hose are the laat
word in sock construction.    We have thousands of
satisfied customers who will not wear any other after
once trying a pair.
WORTH
TWO
$1.00
WORTH
TWO
SOLE AGENTS FOR CANADA
MANN'S MEN'S WEAR
SHIRT SPECIALIST
Two Stores -     411-474 Granville 8treet
Wear A Mann's Shirt i
Rogers Building Barber Shop
The Finest In Canada
Ladies' "Beauty "Parlor
464 GRANVILLE STREET, VANCOUVER
8IV. 78S3-0
W. Shinnan, prop.
- Varsity Lunches -
 AT  THK 	
SASAMAT ELECTRIC BAKERY
Near 'Bua Terminal
Phone, Point Grey S07
*****+*^<^•h^^^**i^^^^*^i■i^*-^^^^^i><H'******^****^********•^•'
I   ANATOMICAL BOOT-MAKING and REPAIRING  ■*
| 4388, TENTH AVENUE, WEST
PHONE:  POINT  OREY 104
T. wigglesworth
ORDERS CALLED FOR   AND DELIVERED
-H-*M>»»*H«»»*»*<'*»»*»***»*»
ft      •      "ii r "  '   ■■  "jiai      "   —i   ■"      \\     ii" i    ii    'it
ANNOUNCEMENT EXTRAORDINARY !
ASK   THE MAN  WHO  OWNS  ONE
FIRST TIME IN VANCOUVER
DEMONSTRATE   FALLEN    ARCH    S]X
AT THE SHOWROOM
610 Seymour St. (Ambassador Cafe)
MARCH  5th, 1926, at 9 p.m.
FOR TICKETS, CALL    Bill Davis, Bay. 5020; Lloyd Ellis, Fair. 5520-R;
"Mao" Dougall, Fair. 4286-R; Graham Eraser, Bay. 1534
    8PEED GETS  'EM	
.*.,*
Progress^
tn Power
ELECTRIC  power development
Is  synonymous   with   general
development.
The great expansion of the B. C
Electric's power system on the
mainland and on Vancouver Island
betokens the progress of British
Columbia.
No industry on the continent can
show such steady and continuous
rapid growth as the electrical industry. Never in its history has the
industry recorded a decrease in its
annual revenue,
BlOTISH C0MMBW tf$h ElECTMCRrTflMfCO.
VANCOUVER
VICTORIA
9-28

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