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The Ubyssey Oct 3, 1944

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 Artsmen Rise - - Hold Election
by John Green
•   ARTS begins to get organized this month with
elections for class executives.
The freshmen started the ball
rolling yesterday noon, and will be
followed immediately by the grad
class who hold elections in Arts
100 at 12:30 Friday. They will elect
the permanent executive of the
graduating class of '45.
Other elections are as follows:
Fourth Year Arts, October 9,
Second Year Arts, October 12.
In past years there has always
been one difficulty in electing
Arts executives, as no one bothered
to elect them. Three or four people would stumble wonderlngly
Into Arts 100, blink questionlngly
at one another, mumble something
about thinking the SPC was meeting today, and stumble out again.
Whenever a fair turnout did appear someone would arise on tottering pins half way through the
election, collect his corpuscles with
care, and stutter feebly, "Is there
a quorum in the house?"
At the sound of the magic word,
which makes every Artsman's
blood run colder than usual, half
those present would immediately
head for the door, those not near
enough to the door tumbling hurriedly out the windows.
Finally things had slipped so
far that some kind Sciencemen
decided to give their beloved) brothers a hand. Last year they
turned out en masse at the Arts
elections and proceeded to elect
a strangely red-sweatered set of
Arts undergrad executives.
Satan alone knows whether the
Sciencemen contemplate a similar
atrocity this year, but if Artsmen
make the 'same effort to take part
ln their student government that
they usually do there ls no doubt
that the Sciencemen could do it
again.
Some year perhaps Arts will
wake up and start to show a little spirit. A few optimistic leaders of the faculty think that it
will be this year. It's certainly
about  time.
Tfo'tttotm
vol. xxvn
VANCOUVER, B.C., THURSDAY, OCTOBER 3, 1944
No. 7
President Leads Government in Forum
AMS HoldsO First Student
Meeting] Wednesday Noon
O   FIRST GENERAL meeting of the Alma Mater Society will be held
in the Auditorium Wednesday, October 4, at 11:30.  All 11:30 lectures
will be cancelled.
One of the main points to be presented at the meeting Is the
recommendation of the Insurance Committee concerning establishment of
a standing committee to administer the proposed accident fund.
Following is the committee's recommendation:
1. Committee shall be set up to consist of the Alma Mater Society
Treasurer, President of the Men's Athletic Association, two members of
the undergraduate body, and one Faculty representative.
2. The committee shall meet at least twice an academic year or at the
call of any member of the committee.
3. The committee shall pass upon all applications made to it to the
end of November and make recommendations concerning these applications
to Students' Council not later than the second council meeting in
December.
DOCTOR'S BILLS
4. The Committee shall pass upon all applications made to it from
December to the end of March and make recommendations concerning
those applications to the Students' Council not later than the second
Council meeting in April.
5. Applications received not later than May 1 will not be considered
until the following academic year.
6. Supporting documents re doctor's bills must be in the hands of the
committee before they can consider payment.
7. The committee shall recommend grants on considering the following
points:
a. Sports shall have preference.
b. Alma   Mater   Society   activities   shall   have   preference   over
university activities.
c. The student's financial status shall be considered. •*
By ED BROWN
• PRESIDENT Norman A.
Mackenzie as leader of
the government and Dr. J.
A. Crumb as leader of the
opposition will be the principle speakers at the opening
meeting of the Parliamentary
Forum in Arts 100 at 12:30
Thursday, October 4th.
Prof. F. G. C. Wood, Honorary
President   of   the   Parliamentary
Forum, will open the meeting with
a brief address.
FIRST BILL
Following Prof. Wood's ad-
address, the government will present its first bill to the house.
"Be It resolved that a league
granting equal representation to
all powers would be a better guarantee than an alliance ot the
great powers for world peace" is
the proposed legislation.
It Is hoped that this debate between President MacKenrie and
Dr. Crumb will clarify the agreements and disagreements achieved
at the recent conference of Dumbarton Oaks.
The Parliamentary Forum is
open to all comers. If time permits and anyone so desires, he
may speak on the isue.
Dr. Norman A. MacKenzie, president of UBC, will speak at a
meeting of the Canadian Returned
Men's Association Friday at 12:30
in the Stage Room, Brock Hall.
University Closet
For Thanksgiving
e AS MONDAY, October 9th, Is
Thanksgiving Day, the University of British Columbia will
be closed from Saturday, October
7th to Monday, October 9th, Inclusive.
There will be no Ubyssey Saturday, October 7, or Tuesday,
October 10.
Paris Burning
Hurts Ernie Pyle
e NEW YORK-BUP-ERNIE
Pyle, who witnessed hundreds
of air attacks in 31 months overseas as a Scripps-Howard columnist and war correspondent, says
that it was the sight of Paris burning under German bombs that
gave him "that hurt feeling inside" and persuaded him to return
home for a rest.
Pyle. Pullitzer Prize winner and
author of the best sefler "Here is
Your War," said this after his arrival in New York.
"It's sort of hard to explain. Except for a little head cold, I am In
perfect physical condition, but Inside I feel awful. I've been through
plenty of bombings, but when the
Germans came over and pasted
Paris soon after we got there, I
suddenly knew that I had to get
home and away from war. Seeing
Paris bum really got me."
Pyle said he was "continually
amazed" at the cheerfulness of the
wounded.
"They were full of fun," Pyle
said. "One kid with his eyes gone
would push another, who had lost
his legs, all over the boat—the
legless one directing the blind
boy."
Allies Open
Rew Drive
On Hun Line
By VIRGIL PINKLEY
• LONDON, October 3-(BUP)
—Allied troops today began
pouring through the hole punched
in the Siegfried Line north of the
town of Aachen.
The new Allied offensive, probably the biggest since the Normandy break-through, was reported to have made good initial pro-
* gress. Planes and artillery opened
the drive and one report said that
30,000 shells were fired in the
softening-up barrage. Reports late
today said Allied aircraft and guns
are continuing to bombard German defenses.
The two-week stalemate on the
German front was broken at mid-
morning. Allied troops went over
the top on a 20-mile front north of
the all but encircled German city
of Aachen and quickly smashed
across the tiny Wurm River and a
railroad leading into Aachen. Allied troops are now approaching
two towns, five and seven miles
above Aachen, on the road to
Dusseldorf,  or  the  Rhine.
The pre-offensive barrage
burned or smothered many Germans In their concrete fortresses
and American troops cleared out
others with bayonets to breach
first line defenses of the vaunted
German West Wall.
Former Student. ..
. killed in action
Mathematics Club
Meets Friday Night
e FIRST regular meeting of the
Mathematics Club will be
held at the home of Dean D. Buchanan, 1980 W. 35th Ave., Friday,
October 6, at 8.15 p.m.
Dr. Murdoch will speak on
"The Anatomy of a Straight
Line." Anyone taking third or
fourth year Mathematics courses
in Engineering or Arts is welcome.
ARTS MEETING
e THERE WILL be a meeting of
fourth year arts women on
Wednesday, October 4, in Arts 206.
All women in arts are requested
to attend.
Dr. MacKenzie...  Prof. F. C.C.Wood    FfOSll   ClftSS   EleCtS
Capozzi President
Leads Gov't
. Referees Bout.
Dedication
Pubsters of several years back and his other friends
on the campus were saddened last week to learn of the death
in action in Italy of Lieutenant Hugh A. Cooke, Seaforth
Highlanders, of Canada.
That simple statement brings many thoughts to mind.
News of such losses comes all too frequently these days. We
at the university, in our own restricted environment, tend to
be conscious of only those that are known to us personally.
It would be well for us to pause and reflect upon all of the
casualty lists, instead of waiting for these very personal
losses to awaken our sensibilities.
For our own fcart, we of the Ubyssey shall endeavour
in the future to establish in our columns the memories of
all the UBC men who have perished in a cause which belongs
to all of us.
"Cookie" came to the Ubyssey in the fall of '41, bringing
with him his natural talent for the exactly chosen word.
It wasn't very long before he was contributing not spectacular
but solid little stories, usually in his tongue-in-cheek style,
and more often anonymously than not.
But it was the COTC that held Hugh's major interest
and he served in it several years as an instructor, being one
of its youngest officers when he went active at the end of
his second year at Varsity. Training at Gordon Head and
Currie, he went overseas in December, 1942, and to Italy
in June of this year.
We will, however, remember him far more for his quiet
qualities as a man and his good fellowship. The memory of
Hugh, his pipe, and his caustic wit, is a vivid one in these
offices.
Canada pays almost too dear a price in the loss of such
men. For after all, Hugh is but one of the many of a gallant
band and he himself would rather have us remember him
that way.
'■ In our personal bereavement we would like to call on
our fellow students once more to take account, especially at
this moment when victory seems near, for all those Canadians who have given themselves for us.
We could not go wrong, each one of us, to re-dedicate
ourselves to the memory of those men—with the purpose
of ensuring that this time it has not been in vain.
"I saw a dead man's finer part
Shining within each faithful heart
Of those bereft. Then said I: 'This must be His immortality* "
VIRGIE THE STURGEON SKIPS FAIR
e   BOISE,    Idaho    (BUP)-Llttle
Vlrgic, the Sturgeon, has disappeared.
Vlrgie was caught In the Snake
River near Lew 1st on, Idaho, and
placed In a pond at the Eagle Island fish hatchery, where he was
being groomed for an appearance
at the Eastern Idaho state fair. But
he's gone.
He Is—or was—about two feet
long, much too large for his smaller
playmates in the pond to have
consumed. Hatchery men scout the
possibility that some unsportsmanlike fisherman poached him, and
doubt that he started out overland
for his home stream.
Still . . . he's not ln the pond.
•   HERB CAPOZZI, second year Arts student, was elected
president of the Freshman class at an election meeting
in the Auditorium, Tuesday.
______________________________ John Ellis was elected vice-presi
dent.   Secretary-treasurer ls Dave
Rea.
Due to the absence of a girl on
the executive, the president of the
Freshette WUS class will be asked
to act on the Freshman class
council.
NOMINATIONS
Allan Ainsworth, Junior Member
of the Student;' Council, conducted
the first meeting of the freshman
class, one of the largest in UBC's
history.
Nominated for president were:
Dave Rea, and John Ellis. For
vice-president, Reg Clarkson, Joan
Bayne, and Cash Wilson. Nominated for secretary-treasurer were
Katherine Knapp, Dave Rea, and
Mary MacDow.
Before the elections, Ainsworth
again asked the Frosh Class to
co-operate In the clean-up campaign.
Hoofisooker flidt
Clean-UrT Drive
e WHILE yesterday was Auditorium day, today is Caf day,
and tomorrow is Common Room
day, and all the other days this
week are set aside for special portions of the campus, Allan Ainsworth does not want students to
forget the campus as a whole during the week,'or for the fest of
the session.
Cleanup started yesterday, but
Ainsworth feels that a good number of the students are not co-operating. The Students' Council has
been asked to have the Discipline
Committee enforce the clean-up.
Ainsworth doesn't think this
should be necessary. He thinks
that student pride in the campus
should be instinctive, and that no
enforcement should be needed.
A warning to all Utter-louts: In
Thursday's Ubyssey there will appear that most dread creature, that
terrible titan, the Koofisooker.
Watch for him.
Prof Mathews . ..
Lectures
Oregon Co-eds
Invade Houses
e EUGENE, Ore., Oct. 3, 1944
(CUP)—Co-eds of the University of Oregon are invading men's dormitories as army
trainees disappear from the campus.
Last year Gl's filled student
halls and fraternity houses to capacity but with the deflux of
these men from universities civilian students are solving housing
problems by moving In. So far,
with one exception, fraternity
houses are still a refuge for Oregon males.
However, the overflow of this
year's larger than ever registration must be accommodated by
downtown  boarding-houses.
Public Lectures
At Union College
e "PLANNING FOR the Post
War World" will be the subject of a series of public lectures
by Professor Basil Mathews, newly appointed Professor at Union
College.
A well-known traveller and
scholar, Professor Mathews is a
member of the British Ministry of
Information. He has spent many
months in Palestine and has used
his knowledge of this country as
the theme in hi/books: "A Life
of Jesus," and "The World in
Which Christ Lived."
He handles the problems involved with realism due to direct
contacts with youth and Christian
leaders as they face their problems in most of the countries of
Europe, in Britain, Asia, the United States and Canada.
Hew medicine
Saves Dog's Life
e NEW YORK (BUP) -Many
years ago a memorable team
of Huskies rushed life-saving
pneumonia serum to Nome, Alaska.
Today, a life-saving drug has
been rushed to a descendant of
one of those Huskies. The animal
is Rear Admiral Richard E.
Byrd's Eskimo dog,  Rickey.
Rickey was born ten years ago
at Little America. The dog is a
veteran of sea and air duty with
Byrd. The Husky contracted a
heart ailment some time ago at his
home at the naval air station at
Lake City, Florida.
The story of his recovery
through the use of an Egyptian
medicine has been revealed by
thc Winthrop Chemical Company. Page Two
THE   UBYSSEY
Thursday, October 3, 1944
from the editor's pen
» » »
Jfrf ewLtySSew    • war work for medically unfit
Leave Us Take Down Our Hair
Leave us take down our hair today
and get whimsical. Last week we analysed
in sober tones the world's troubles and finally reduced them to one single sentence. We
intimated that if this world had only one
man in it, there would be no troubles, and
added sagely that if you bring one more
onto the stage the resulting collision is problem No. 1. And so we ended up beating
our heads against the wall, frustrated with
the realization that there are quite a few
people in the world.
But today we are several days older
and several days wiser. We withdraw from
the wall and set ourselves to attack a type
of person whom we have met, whom everybody has met and who, authorities say, is
one of the worst violators of mental hygiene.
We don't know much about the authorities
or this term "mental hygiene" but we do
know that one of the worst bores anywhere
is the guy who takes himself too seriously.
Idiomatic as this expression is, we still
use it to render our pity for the person who
can never take time out to laugh at himself.
This is the person whose business is holy
and of the utmost importance, whose activities are steeped with the mystery of necessity throughout every minute of the day. All
other activities are minor, contemptible, and
capable of provoking laughter. But not his
life-force. It is his very being and the
person who laughs is committing an infamous crime against the world, for his
business is vital.
This strikes us as being particularly,
funny because there is nothing more humorous than the human race. One of the greatest jokes we can think of on humanity is
that nobody can say just "why" humanity
exists. Philosophers have argued for centuries over this question. They have striven
for all time to find an answer because if
there is none the whole pattern is just downright silly. The latest rationalization to come
from philosophy is that there must be a
reason for the world or there would not be
a world. It exists and therefore such a
complicated structure must have a reason.
This, however, does not satisfy us, and
until some one tells us why we are here
we are going to continue to poke fun at
a very funny world. But some people do not
think things so funny. They hate being
laughed at, which is natural; but the people
who can absorb laughter at themselves and
even join in the fun are the type whom we
would like to make our friends.
The story is told of the Little Emperor
in which it is said that he lost his empire
because he could not stand the laughter of
a woman at himself. Perhaps it's fable and
extreme co-incidence, but inscribed in the
books is the story that Napoleon first became
angry with Josephine because she laughed
one day when he spilled one of his famous
omelets all over his imperial tunic. Historians place his divorce as the beginning of the
road to Waterloo. The Little Emperor is
the one outstanding example in this world
of the man who could not stand to be
laughed at.
Everybody must be capable of laughing
at himself. One of the greatest sources of
humor in this century has been the soldiers
on the world's battlefields engaged in the
bloodiest of the tasks of man. Laughter is
a part of their war lives. It must be or the
rotten hell of war could not be sustained.
They laugh, and they laugh at themselves
and their institutions. In a sense, but to «
a much smaller degree than war, living can
be described as a rotten hell at times, sustained only by the art of living which has
been invented by man and of which
laughter is a vital part.
Bringing ourselves back home, look at
the many campus institutions which work
for students and are serious in their work,
but always have time to step aside and laugh
at themselves. This year's Student Council
is a good example. During the first few
weeks before Varsity began its thirteenth
session Council worked hard and well to
start the year off right. But when they
came before Freshmen to explain student
activities on September 16 they did not
represent themselves as self-righteous dignitaries, surrounded with impregnable
authority which demanded respect because
of the service they render the university.
On the contrary, when they mounted
the auditorium stage they were fellow
students and they wanted the Frosh to know
that. They poked sly fun at their black-
gowned figures and they laughed with the
Freshman as the Freshman laughed at them.
They did not take themselves too seriously
for they knew that such an attitude only
ends in complete subjugation of the individual to his ego. The integrated character
produces results in better understanding and
co-operation in human problems—the forerunners of success.
Other campus organizations have the
same attitude, and the Ubyssey takes time
out from exams at the end of every year
to laugh gloriously at itself and the whole
newspaper profession, which is probably one
of the silliest of the occupations of man. We
do not mean that the world should be one
great festival of laughter, but we do mean
that humor is a large part of living, and
those who ignore it, both when it is directed
toward themselves or at others, must indeed live with a gloomy ego.
*        ill all  SeriOUSneSS By Denis Blunden
• FINALLY, AFTER four years of compulsory military training on this campus
for physically fit men, someone has taken
notice of the happy and select "200" group
at UBC—the medically unfit men.
For years this little army of men have
been flying the "E" flag inconspiciously
while their brothers marched the necessary
six hours a week and their sisters knitted
the necessary 10 feet of scarves. '
For many more years
the unfit men have hobbled
through life, some with
minor and practically non-
noticeable "disabilities" such
as defective vision corrected
with glasses and others with
more obvious health disabilities.
Until war time, when
such a high price is set upon
the physically perfect specimen, these men minded their
own business and the government was too
busy arguing tariff policies to do much about
restoring good health or preventing bad
health.
RUINING THE FUTURE
When the war finally came, the medically unfit men suddenly jumped into the limelight, or rather were pushed into it, by well
meaning gentlemen who suddenly began to
deplore the state of health of Canada's youth
and point sly fingers at the "E" men as
supposedly ruining the future of the country.
Some of the unfit men just coming from
high school, being in a preferred position in
regards to military service, decided to go
to university and were rejected for service
in the COTC.
The "E" men came numbering 200 to
UBC, and, unless you wish to count those
who entertained the idea that preparing the
ground for life in expected future hard
years,is indirectly contributing a great deal
to Canada, most of them contributed practically nothing to the war effort on thc
surface.
The reason was simple: There was no
way in which to contribute anything. The
doors were closed. An "E" man was expected to just go on as usual—catching colds,
walking on flat feet, squinting at small print,
avoiding heart shocks, and generally continuing in so-called bad health.
GOOD SUGGESTION
And the great majority at UBC did just
that and nothing more and are not to be
blamed for it. Now, during this last week,
has come a suggestion that medically unfit
men be required to do boys work, first aid
work, or take physical education classes.
The suggestion is basically fair. There are,
however, certain stipulations.
The work should be voluntary. The
emphasis should be on physical education
for those who are able to take the physical
strain. For those who are barred from exercise, a course in first aid is an example
of an alternative. The suggestion of making
unfit men boys leaders comes at the bottom
of the list, since very few persons are suited
for this work, admirable as it is. Boys work
is important, however, and men suitable for
the job should be encouraged.
The reason for asking that the work be
voluntary is to give the unfit men a chance.
If they refuse the opportunity and the plan
is worthwhile, then they should be relegated
to sackcloth and ashes for life.
But the idea can not stop at "E" men.
Women need to be given the opportunity to
lift their effort from the patient knitters
category. I leave this suggestion up to the
fairness of officials conducting UBC's war
, effort.
ACCORDING TO NEED
For after all, the effort should be based
on contributions according to ability, and
need, not as it is now, based upon contributions according to the rules and regulations of the Selective Service.
And if medically unfit students can play
an honest part according to their ability,
then I think the 200 will rise to the occasion.
Member
British United Press
Canadian University Press
Offices Brock Hall
Phone ALma 1624
For Advertising
Standard Publishing Co. Ltd.
2182 W. 41st KErr. 1811
Campus Subscriptions—11.50
Mail Subscriptions—12.00
Issued every Tuesday, Thursday,
and   Saturday   by   the   Students'
Publication   Board  of   the  Alma
Mater Society of the University of
British Columbia.
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
JOHN TOM SCOTT
Tuesday Edition
Senior Editor Denis Blunden
Associate Editor John Green
Assistant Editor Anna White
Sports Editor
Luke Moyls
Pub Secretary
Betty Anderson
CUP Editor
Marian Ball
Reporters
Beverly Cormier, John MacBride,
Harriet Hochman,  Freddie Beck,
Mac Brockman, Charlotte Schroe-
der, Jerry Walls, Tom Mallinson,
Rosemary Hodgins, Martha Bloom,
Duncan Gray, Harry Allen, Ean
Hayes, R. J. Perrault, Art Alexander,   Marguerite   Weir,   Cash
Wilson.
Sports Editor
Luke Moyls
SPORTS REPORTERS
Donna Meldrum, Laurie Dyer,
Bruce Lowther, Dave Robinson,
Fred Crombie.
PHOTOGRAPHY DIRECTOR
Art Jones.
STAFF PHOTOGRAPHERS
Brian Jackson, Bert Levy, Don
Cameron, Jack Leshgold, Russ McBride, Fred Grover.
IS Cracks Down
On Bootleg Gas
By BRITISH UNITED PRESS
• THE OPA is sealing off
the flow of Black Market gas. Compared to what
it used to be, the gas bootlegger's business is bad.
The term "boot-legger" hikes
back to speak-easy days. Reasonably enough, many of the mobs
now operating national black
market gas chains are the same
gangs which cashed in on the prohibition era,
But the gas traffic is somewhat
different. There's no such thing
as black market gas, as there was
boot-leg whiskey or "bath-tub
gin".
In substance, Illegal gas Is the
same as legal gas. The only difference Is that it's sold without
coupons or questions, at exhorblt-
ant prices and both the buyer and
seller are Jailed If caught.
The high quality of black market
gas makes it easier for the racketeer to win patrons. But It makes
It harder for the OPA, which can
appeal to the public to boycott the
black market only on patriotic
grounds.
But there's proof that many
people still don't care whether the
Allies have enough gas to drive
to Berlin. In New York City, it's
estimated that as much as 150
thousand gallons are side-tracked
into the black market every day.
However, the motorist may now
And that he has to drive a bit
further to And a dealer who does
not ask coupons,
DRIVE FURTHER
For the OPA has dried up many
of these side-street gas wells, jailing the coupon counterfeiters and
gas station operators.
Another sign that the OPA Is
sinking Its teeth Into the gas
swindle ls the soaring price of
black market gas.
As dealers have less to sell,
they're charging as high as 65 cents
a gallon. In many cases, the gas
gangsters are setting up a rationing
system of their own—limiting customers to, say, three gallons a
filling.
The OPA's main weapon is its
new system of regional coupon
verification centers, where every
coupon turned in by dealers is
carefully examined. Counterfeit
coupons, traced to their source,
have led to many arrests. Another
effective OPA weapon is the law
requiring motorists to write their
license number and state registry
on every coupon,
Following Is an article submitted
to the Ubyssey by a student and
published under the provisions of
the constitution of the Publications
Board. The opinions expressed do
not necessarily represent ^hose of
the Publications Board or the Alma
Mater Society—The EDITOR.
By C. W. DOWDINO, Jr.
• ARE MEN medically unfit for the armed services
at UBC participating "in
some kind of work beneficial
both to themselves and to the
general war effort?"
Before we propose an answer,
let us examine the implications of
this question and place them, side
by side, with the facts of the case.
The implications are obvious.
Firstly, it implies that the university students at the present time
may not be justified ln assuming
that their whole duty is to take full
advantage of the educational opportunities offered them—for this,
as we all know, is a task which
requires every available moment
of the academic term.
BENEFIT WAR
Secondly, it implies that those
who are medically fit, and as a
result are compelled to take six
hours a week of campus military
training, are of more benefit to
themselves and to the general war
while at the university, than those
who are not compelled to take this
training.
If the ability to qualify for six
hours of campus military training
ls the sole factor that puts a student in the 'Beneficial List*, there
is little reason for the fit men to
remain, for their academic duties
consume the better part of their
energies.
Every intelligent person realizes that it is necessary to train
and prepare intensively for specialized service, whether it be service In the armed forces or in civilian activites.
COMPULSORY
Practically every student on the
campus would whole-heartedly
support and commend a compulsory physical education program
as a necessary part of this specialized training.
But the stress of this specialized
educational training, the value of
which is recognized In the world
at war as well as the world at
peace, is of sufficient intensity to
require all the possible energy we
have and this compulsory military
training is not of sufficient intensity to be of much value for those
entering the armed forces before
or after they graduate.
Therefore, I sincerely believe it
would be mere folly to aggravate
tut already unsatisfactory arrangement by imposing extra burdens
on a so-called unfit student.
folderol
By JOHN GREEN
_L
• NOTE:-In this column I attempt to be humorous, nothing
more. Sometimes in my attempts
to do same I end up by slandering
somebody or something. This eventuality I have guarded against
by placing at the top of my'column the word "folderol" which
means, or at any rate is meant to
mean (if you see what I mean)
nonsense. Thus If any person or
organization find themselves slandered, libeled, or otherwise badly
done by will they please remember I don't mean lt, and besides,
if I said something nice under that
head that would be an Insult
wouldn't it.
In spite of a-
bove mentioned
good Intentions
I seem to be
getting myself
in hot water.
Consequently I
fear that I will
have to devote
the next few
columns to
making fun of
myself. That
way I won't get
into trouble, but
am I ever going to hate myself.
Well Anyhow.
The other day I went to a banquet. This banquet was thrown
by the Student Council for Dr.
MacKenzie, in order that he might
meet the leaders of the various
student organizations on the campus.
Yes I was invited, and yes the
secretary was fired for getting the
Invitations mixed up.
I found myself a small and In-
conspicious   seat   way   off   in   a
corner, and sat down, expecting to
be fed.
NO MORE
Sure enough there wis a tiny
dish complete with some fish.
This I ate, and looked around for
more. More was not forthcoming
for some time, Drooling quietly I
watched other people being served
with large plates, each of which
contained among other things a
whole half chicken.
This looked extremely appetizing to me, but somehow the young
ladies and gentlemen before whom
these delicacies had been placed
seemed hesitant. Looks of something closely allied to fear crossed
their faces. One brave character
picked up his knife and stabbed
tentatively at the dormant bird before him. For a moment he pried
hopefully at the succulent flesh,
then he dropped his knife nervously to his plate and paused to
look around at the inquisitive
faces.
"There's no hope," he said sorrowfully.
This seemed strange to me. The
bird looked innocent enough.
Why this attitude of despair?
I soon found out.
One of ihe demi-birds was
placed before me. It still looked
as innocent and as succulent as
ever, it seemed to be all flesh, not
a bone appeared. Confidently I
picked up my knife and stabbed.
DEMI-BIRDS
The knife bounced off something
hard and flew celUngward. Nimbly
I leaped up, caught it in mid-air,
and tried again. I went over the
bird from head to tall. Its armour
was perfect. Nowhere could I And
an unprotected spot.
I looked around to see how the
others were dealing with their
victims. At the other end of the
table a tall parliamentary forum-
ite had descended to the cave man
style. Grasping his bird firmly in
both hands he was chomping merrily away on the thin layer of
flesh surrounding the bone. On
his plate lay the well-chomped
remains of a drumstick and a
wing.
BONELESS LEG
This looked like the way to do
it. Happily I grasped the drumstick and pulled. Something gave
way. Horrer of horrers, the bone
came away, but the flesh didn't.
The boneless leg waved at me derisively. •
Undaunted , I tried again, this
time on the wing. Here I was successful at first, the wing came off
all right. Happily I started to
chaw on lt. I couldn't even taste
chicken.
Despair welled up within me.
The task was indeed hopeless.
Meekly I started picknlg up peas
on my fork, one by one. These I
could handle.
Slowly my confidence returned.
"Have you no pride, no will power, where is your self respect?" #
WATCH THIS
I couldn't answer myself. A
great rage filled me. Again I
seized my weapons and went to
work. I took one mighty stab at
the offending bird. Something
was bound to give. Something did.
The knife struck, the chicken
hesitated, then gathered Itself together, veered wildly towards the
edge of the plate, paused momentarily and raced wildly back to the
other side.
Peas flew in all directions. With
a cry of "Every man for himself,"
Dick Bibbs dove under the table.
Three other council members, not
quite so swift, dropped dead, shot
through the head.
I'M HUMILIATED
Pardon me, my typing finger
runs away with me sometimes.
Well anyhow, peas flew all over
the place, nobody ducked, but
Jots of people wished they had.
I was humiliated no end. I sank
down in my seat and waited,
trembling for tho end.
Oh well, it might have been a
whole chicken.
Wallet containing small amount
of money and important papers.
Neither money or wallet important
but please return papers to Annn
Leith, BAy. 9611-R.
LOST
Green  Parker Vacuumatic  pen.
Two   weeks   ago.    Reward   $5.00.
Hooson.   BAy.  05,16. Thursday, October 3, 1944
THE  UBYSSEY
.Page Three
Radio Reception Varies
With Phases of Moon
• SCHENECTADY, October 3—
Radio reception has now been
found to vary with the phases of
the moon, it was disclosed here in
a General Electric Science Forum
address by Dr. Harlan True Stetson of Cambridge, Mass., director
of the laboratory for cosmic terrestrial research, Massachusetts
Institute of Technology.
Citing the results obtained from
data after more than 20,000 hours
of observation over two periods of
four years each, Dr. stetson saVfc
"From the study of our data,
made on those nights when the
moon was overhead, we found
radio reception definitely improved from the time of the moon's
first quarter to shortly before full
moon. After full moon, radio
reception deteriorated, but began
to improve again from about the
last quarter until a few days before new moon. This, of course,
is true for a certain particular
frequency over a certain path we
were measuring."
However, in observations made
when "the moon was below the
horizon"—observations made in
the dark of the moon, "we found
no such effect, where no radiation
from the moon's surface could
reach the radio waves over the
path we were studying," Dr. Stetson pointed out
"The same thing happened in
both series of data, except that
the lunar effect was more pronounced during the second four
SCfl) Advocates
Stiff Increase
• THE National Council of the
SCM for Canada met at Geneva
Park, Lake Couchlching, Ont., September 12-18 to discuss the basis
upon which the association should
function for the crucial post-war
years. The highlights of the conference were as follows:
1. A substantial increase in staff
to accommodate the approximate
60,000 returned soldiers expected
to enter the Canadian Universities after the cessation of hostilities.
2. A recognition of the revolutionary times through which we
are passing and the setting of a
national policy which stressed the
need for a demanding search for
truth, employing both faith and
reason.
3. Unofficial recognition of the
British Columbia brief which
stressed a rigorous, critical, objective, approach and study to the
life and teachings of Jesus.
4. A further recognition of the
need for definite social action and
the alignment of all progressive
forces against those opposed to
progress.
Texas U. Offers
Airport Course
AUSTIN, Tex.-(BUP)-The U-
niversity of Texas by accident has
found it is the nation's only institution offering a course in airport management approved by the
^American Association of Airport
Executives.
A young ex-serviceman applied
to Assistant Registrar Max Fitch-
enbauh for the course. He related
selling his home and going to another institution purporting to be
offering the course. There he
found the subject would not be
available until after peace.
When the veteran appealed to
the association, they told him the
University of Texas had the only
course acceptable to the organization.
years of our data than during tho
first four years," he declared.
"We know there is increasing
evidence to believe that out in
space the sun must be emitting
very penetrating rays of high energy, probably similar to X-rays,"
Dr. Stetson said.
Cleaning to Renew
Drapes' Drape Shapes
• NEXT  TERM  may  see   the
Brock chesterfields and drapes
cleaned, according to AMS secretary, Helen Morgan. It Is not
definite yet, but an estimate ot the
cost has already been made by
Mr. J. B. Lee, the Superintendent
of Buildings.
Lonely Queen
Gets frosh Hing
• WINNIPEG, Man., October 3,
1944 (CUP)-SympatheUc students of the University of Manitoba have decided to find a consort for their lonely little Freshette queen.
For years an institution on the
campus, the Freshle Queen hat
moped around alone presiding
over Frosh week festivities without a king to call' her own. But
this year the regents wno rule F-
Week from behind the scenes
have decided to remedy this dire
situation.
"Zooty little Joe" King Freshle
will represent his year as the typical Freshmen at all Frosh-Week
festivities.
Co-eda Relax in
Mildred Brock Rm.
• VERY FEW CO-EDS seem to
know that at their disposal
in Brock Hall is the Mildred
flrock room.
This beautiful room set aside
especially for the use ot Co-Eds
is in memory of the late Mildred
Brock, wife of Professor Brock,
both of whom were killed in a
plane crash a number of years
ago.
WUS intends to provide magazines and writing facilities for the
pleasure of women students.
Smokng will be prohibited.
Musical Society
Meets Tuesday
• THE FIRST in a series of recorded programs to be given
by the Musical Society in the
Men's Smoking Room of the
Brock will take place tomorrow
from 12.30 to 1.30. This series
will continue throughout the university year, recitals to be heard
every Tuesday and Thursday noon
hour.
SORORITY RUSHING
• ALL RUSHEES on the Sorority
list must meet In Aggie 100 Thursday, October 5, at 12:30. At this
meeting the rushees will check off
the sororities they are interested
PRE-MED MEETING
Monro Pre-Medlcal Club will
hold a general meeting for all
members, oW or new, ln Science
300, Friday, October 6. at 12:30.
LOST
Somewhere on the campus—a
brown leather loose-leaf, containing notes and a fountain pen.
Please return to Fred Bossons or
AMS office.
Ski Club Gets New Cabin
e ANOTHER CABIN to accomodate an Increase in membership
in the Ski Club will be purchased
this year. Over ISO members are
expected to frequent the snowy
heights this season.
The new cabin may be Holly-
burn Girl's Cabin, which is one
of the  best available.
The Ski Club cabins are divided
into two parts, for men and women, iind it is hoped that in future
separate cabins will be available
for each.
MEMBERSHIP DRIVE
Three weeks from now the
ship drive, beginning with a meet-
sliip drive, beginning with ameet-
ing in Arts 100. Membership may
be of two kinds; non-cabin mem
bers for whom the fee Is fifty
cents, and cabin members who
have to do two work hikes before they can become official members.
The last day for work' hikes
will be In late November. Ski
lessons will be given to beginner displaying an interest ln the
club.
Activities will include participation In the January Ski Tournament up Grouse Mountain. A cup
and forty dollars In prizes are offered. The club will also compete
ln all city tournaments.
Anyone wishing to join the Ski
Club must wait for the Membership drive to be held in the near
future.
FICHT
TUBERCULOSIS!
Get a Free
Chest X-Ray
Phone FAir. 6644
'For an
Appointment
The Men's Wear Centre of Vancouver
JALMACAAN and
RAGLAN Style
RAINCOATS
for Fall Wear
Sturdy cotton gabardine In fawn
shade. Balmacaan style, fly front
ond checked lining. Sizes 36 to 44.
English styled raglan cut fine cotton ^ ^ Q -
gabardine. Check lined Sizes 34 A MrieJ
to44. tMm
Balmacaan styled fine cotton gabar- ^ - q -
dines in blue or fawn shades. Sizes I £L.y •?
34 to 44. ■ ^
Fine fawn cotton "mellogab" gabar- ^ , - ~
dine coats in Balmacaan style. Sizes I fV 3 Vs
34 to 44. ■ w
Heavy double textured, fine cotton ^ ^  j- /n
gabardine in raglan style. Finished J J.3U
with an all-round belt. Sizes 34 to 44. Am Am
Raincoats for the
Armed Services
Regulation Coats for the Navy, Army and Air Force
always in stock.
Men s Shops
DAVID SPENCER
LIMITED
Main Floor Page Four
THE   UBYSSEY
Thursday, October 3, 1944
the gospel...
according to LUKE MOYLS
ST. LOO TO BATTLE ST. LOO
TELEPHONES AND TROUBLES
•   A TELEPHONE is a wonderful thing. It certainly is a
handy gadget. Remind me to congratulate Don Ameche
the next time I see him. He must be quite an inventive
genius.
But, speaking of telephones, I am peeved more than
somewhat when I receive an unexpected phone call last Friday afternoon. It disturbs me no end.
Friday is always a busy day with me, anyway, and on
this particular Friday I am really having trouble. It starts
off with the furious pace of meeting a deadline. It certainly
makes things difficult when there isn't enough copy to fill
a sports page.
However, sports copy gradually drifts^n, and after the
deadline swishes by (they tell me the deadline swishes by
every Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 1:15, but I've never
seen him), I beetle off in the general direction of the News
H.
Now, at 5:30 I usually visit the Vancouver S., for at
this time I go see my old friend Jack Ennifer at the BUP
office which is situated in a very precarious position on
the Sun Tower. It is here that I risk my life regularly in
order to get the Big League baseball stories.
Well, while at the News H, I am holding a brief conference with the almighty one, Carlos- Q. Robertson, when
suddenly I drop it. The clock on the wall says it is 29%
minutes past five.
Clancy Calls Me Back Again
I slide down the bannister. I make for the door, but
too late. A shrill scream penetrates my sensitive eardrums.
It is Clancy Loranger calling me back. "You're wanted on
the phone", he says when I get within shouting distance.
Taking the stairs three at a time, I climb back into the
sports department of the News H. I pick up the receiver
and I give with a snappy "Hallo."
"Is that Mister Luke Moyls?" queries a high, cracked
voice. "This is Mrs. M. T. Twinklehoofer of the Society for
Prevention of Cruelty to Sports Writers." It sounds more
like static.
Now I am no fool (it says here), and I figure this must be
one of those queer wrestling fans or some such character.
Anyhow, it seems like somebody is sounding off a phoney
line (no relation to Ameche's invention).
So I am snapping back with "What's your beef? And
don't beat around the bush; I'm in a hurry."
That Voice Sounds Familiar
The falsetto quickly gives way to a smooth, deep-toned
voice with a familiar ring to it. "Okay Luke, so I'm not
Mrs. Twinklehoofer. What the heck, can't I kid you any
more?"
It's Norm—Norm Klenman—my old pal who deserted
me and Varsity last year for a better cause. (Actually, one
of us had to leave—there just wasn't any room for both
of us scribes.)
The conversation is brief and to the point. He tells me
he is on a short leave having obtained a commish. PO
Klenman .. . what a character . . . what a big fnumph!
Saturday night finds us celebrating in a downstreet dive
along with another sports scribe who belonged in our gang,
Bill Tutte. The three of us spend half the night there,
talking of nothing but the good old days. We all have so
much to say, and so little time in which to say it.
We are all feeling very sad when we decide to beetle •
off. The night is very blue as we say "Good night." We split
up once more, and each goes his own way home . . .
•Yes, a telephone is a wonderful thing. I wish they would
hurry up with that Student Directory!
UniVERSITV BOOK STORE
Hrs.: 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Saturdays 9 a.m. to noon
LOOSE LEAF NOTE BOOKS, EXERCISE BOOKS AND
SCRIBBLERS
AT REDUCED PRICES
Graphic  Engineering  Paper,  Biology  Paper
Loose Leaf Refills, Fountain Pens and Ink
and Drawing Instruments
DINING   rCCH
Full Course Luncheon 50c
Afternoon Teas 35c
Light Lunches also served
Special Catering for University
Functions On Request
A. MacLUCAS,
Bursar.
VOLLEYBALL
LOOP ON TAP
• A SENIOR A Volleyball
League has recently been
formed, composed ot teams
from the YMCA, New Westminster YMCA, the RCAF, and
the New Westminster Firemen.
The University has been Invited to participate In this league.
There will be a meeting In
the Gym on Wednesday at 12:30
for all those Interested In Joining a team for such competition.
Hoop meeting
fit Y Tonight
• VARSITY'S Thunderbirds will
find out just where they stand
tonight when hoop moguls of the
Vancouver and District Basketball
League get together for an organization meeting in the YMCA at
eight o'clock.
Prospects for a Senior League
are brighter with the hope that
Pat Bay Gremlins will be able to
compete in a Vancouver loop. In
order to do so, they will have to
obtain the permission of the governing body on 'the Island, the
Victoria and District Basketball
Association.
In the meantime, the Frosh and
Varsity squads of the minor loops
are being lined up In preparation
for the season which opens two
weeks from today. It Is also hoped
that an Intermediate B team might
be formed on the Campus.
A form has been posted outside
the gym office, and all those wishing to play for any ot the three
minor teams, Inter B, Inter A, or
Senior B, should sign up right
away.
It is noted, however, that signing
this sheet does not mean that the
player cannot turn out for the
Senior A team. The form is merely there to find out just how much
hoop material there is on the campus.
NOTICE
There will be an important
practice for all soccer players to-
morow at 12.30 in the Stadium.
This will be in preparation for the
opening league game which is
slated for this Saturday. Teams
will be chosen for Saturday's game
at tomorrow's practice.
If players are unable to attend
the practice, they are advised
to report to the Stadium as soon
as possible, or get in touch with
Alex Cowie at HA. 2977-M.
NOTICE
There will be a meeting in the
gym on Thursday at noon of all
those Interested In forming a boxing club.
First Time
Browns In
Big Series
• ST. LOUIS (BUP)-It will be
the first time in history that
two St. Louis Clubs have played
in the World Series when St. Loo's
Cardinals and Browns open up the
world championship battle at
Sportsman's Park tomorrow.
The surprise team of the year,
the American League St. Louis
Browns, had to win their right to
compete for the title the hard way.
It was not until the final day of
junior league competition, Sunday,
that the Brownies captured the
pennant by downing New York
Yankees, last year's champions, 5-2,
while tall-end Washington Senators
eliminated Detroit Tigers, 4-1.
DUTCH DOWNS DETROIT
Detroit's disappointed baseball
fans have two candidates for "the
man least likely to become mayor
of Detroit." One of the unpopular
gentlemen is an aging rlghthanded
pitcher named Emit Leonard, who
is known to the trade as "Dutch".
His companion in the Detroit doghouse is an effective outfielder
called Stanley Orvil Spence—Stan
for short.
When the down-trodden Wash*
lngtonians defeated the Tigers to
push them away from the American League pennant, Leonard and
Spence did most of what Detroit
fans call the "dirty work". Leonard's crime was his four-hit pitching. Spence contributed a two-run
homer that sewed the game up for
the Senators and ended the gallant
pennant .bid that carried the Bengals to the top from the seventh
spot they rested In on July 13.
For Leonard it was a game
doubly worth winning. The veteran
knuckleball tosser hadn't beaten
the Tigers since 1941. The victory
brought his record for the year
up to the .500 mark—14 victories
against the same number of defeats. That will be an important
point for Dutch when the Senators
make out his 1945 contract.
LANDIS MISSING
Incidentally, this year's opening
of the World Series won't be quite
the same in at least one respect.
Judge Kenesaw Mountain Landis
won't be there.
Judge Landis, the czar of organised baseball, will miss his first
World Series In 44 years because
of illness. Although Landis Is not
seriously sick, his doctor has put
a ban on travelling.
The commissioner will be represented at the series by the presidents of the American and National Leagues, William Harridge and
Ford Frick, and by Les O'Connor,
the secretary and treasurer for the
commissioner's office.
for men only
By PETE McGEER
• MUCH TO EVERYBODY'S relief, including my own, the time has
come when I can stop sermonizing and write a reasonably straight
news story. Today is the great day.  Intramurals have started.
According to Maury Van Vliet, the committee meeting on Friday
was a success and everything is under control. He has a new assistant
lined up, By Straight, and for you ignorant freshies the latter is a
man of much repute on this campus. However, as the saying goes,
that's another column and I intend to save it for just that.
This year we have 17 teams, the 12 fraternities, the engineers and
four teams which have been organised by the freshmen. These teams
have been divided into two leagues for the volleyball schedule and since
I don't Intend to waste good space listing them you can easily find them
on the notice board ln the gym.
They tell us that you can't be a full fledged sports reporter until
such time as you've gone out on the limb and started to saw it off inside
you so I hereby present my qualifications.
To win the volleyball in the Blue League we give you Kappa
Sigma, and in the Gold, at the risk of being called prejudiced, DU. I
won't pick the winner of the whole shebang here, yet, but in the Touch
Football we'll go as far as to suggest Epsilon and Kappa Sig, and you
takes your choice.
We see by the schedule that Touch starts this week too, with games
in the stadium Tuesday and Thursday. For your entertainment this
week I will recommend the following games as the best. Today at noon
you can watch the Kappa Sig touch team working out at the expense
of the Zetes, and I'm afraid it won't be much more than that. On Friday
if you drift over to the gym at noon you can watch Lambda having
their shot at upsetting the Kappa Sigs and if anyone does it will likely
be them.   That is our feature for the week.
We will now Include a reminder to all team representatives that
the next board meeting (sounds good, doesn't it fellows?) Is at Friday
noon. Mr. Van Vliet has announced that the usual acute shortage of
officials exists this year. If there Is anyone who ls interested In refereeing
any of these sports on the program, will they please go around to see
Maury In his office.
He mentioned the possibility of you getting paid for this enjoyable
pastime. This is the chance for all you fellows who, to quote some wag,
"Are drunk with Power and foaming at the mouth with Authority", we
guarantee pleasant hours and full police protection after all games.
LUKE MOYLS, Sports Editor
Varsity Cricketers Capture
Gardiner   Johnson   Shield
r VARSITY'S cricketers surprls-
ed everybody Including themselves, Saturday afternoon as they
wound up the season by defeating
Pro-Recs 80-62 at Lower Brockton
to walk off with the Gardiner-
Johnson Shield for the Second
Division in the Mainland Cricket
League.
One of the standouts of the playoffs was Dr. H. V. Warren whose
bowling did much to bring about
Varsity's victory. At Saturday's
tilt, he obtained 8 wickets for 28
runs.
Leading batsman for the Blue and
Gold was Rev. J. N. Bracher who
pounded the willow for 27 runs,
not out. Other players for UBC
were Peter MacGregor-Eadle, Fred
Llpsett, Johtv Powell, Sandy Robertson and Andy Younger.
Among the alumni were Charlie
Pillar, who came to town every
Saturday from Murrayville to support the Blue and Gold. Dr. Warren and Rev. Bracher played regularly, and Jack Rush managed to
get to Saturday's contest by devious ways in a hop from Pat Bay.
....UBC's student cricketers are
hoping to be able to practise this
winter with an eye to entering
two squads next season. All those
interested, especially freshmen, are
urged to contact Maury Van Vliet
or John Powell as soon as possible.
INTRAMURAL SCHEDULE
VOLLEYBALL
Blue League
OCTOBER 3—Lambda vs. Engineers at 7:00
Kappa Sigma vs. Alpha Delta Phi at 7:00
Phi Gamma Delta vs. Psi Upsilon at 8:00
Phi Kappa Sigma vs. Phi Kappa Pi at 8:00
Gold League
OCTOBER 3—Iota vs. Mu Phi at 9:00
Delta Upsilon vs. Epsilon at 9:00
OCTOBER 4—Sigma Phi Delta vs. Beta Theta Pi at 12:30
Zeta Psi vs. Phi Delta Theta at 12:30
TOUCH FOOTBALL
OCTOBER 3—Kappa Sigma vs. Zeta Psi at 12:30
Sigma Phi Delta vs. Phi Delta Theta at 12:30
OCTOBER 5—Alpha Delta Phi vs. Psi Upsilon at 12:30
Zeta Beta Tau vs. Epsilon at 12:30.
Prep For Crpss Country
Road Racers Start Training
• TEN ENERGETIC RUNNERS
turned out to get into shape
Monday for this year's Cross
Country event scheduled for Oct.
26. Cam Coady and Ren McPherson of last year's fame were limbering up the old limbs as they
hope to help bring glory to UBC
again this year in the annual
track meet at Spokane.
Besides these two reliables
were such boys as Tom Hackitt,
Bill Wood, Lawrence Manning,
Harry Thompson, Keith MacDonald and Bob Lawson, Bob Ross
and Joe Peques. These boys will
at least be in there for the distance run over our campus and
seven   of   those   who   try   out
will be sent to Spokane to represent Varsity.
Its' still not too late to loosen
those joints up so come on out
and put your two cent's worth
into the Cross Country.
Fraternity and Sorority
Printing and Engraving
Our Specialty
INVITATIONS, 'AT HOME'
LETTERHEADS  and
CHRISTMAS CARDS
•
GEHRKE'S
566 Seymour, St.
For your
PRINTING
or
ENGRAVING
Stationery Supplies
Fountain Pens
Slide Rules
Scales, etc.,
for the present term
SEE
""Clarke* Stuart
CO. LIMITED
550 Seymour St.
Vancouver, B.C.
Phone PAciflc 7311
NOW   SHOWING
FAMOUS PLAYERS
DOWNTOWN   THEATRES
Special student rate on presentation
of your student's pass.
CAPITOL
A Veritable Wave of Stars
of Fun! ... of Rhythm! .
in
"TWO GIRLS AND A
SAILOR"
STRAND
Fred MacMurray,
Barbara Stanwyck,
Edward G. Robinson in
"DOUBLE INDEMNITY"
plus "Gamblers Choice"
ORPHEUM
Jean Arthur, Lee
Bowman in
"THE IMPATIENT
YEARS"
plus "Sailor's Holiday"
DOMINION
"WHITE CLIFFS OF
DOVER"
with Irene Dunne, Alan
Marshal, Roddy McDowell
plus 'Passport to Destiny'

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