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The Ubyssey Feb 14, 1939

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 PEP  MEET
THURSDAY  NOON
Published Twice Weekly by The Publications Board of The University of British Columbia
SCIENCE   BALL
THURSDAY  NIGHT
SCIENCE    ISSUE
Vol. XXI.
VA-NCOUVKK,   B.C., TUESDAY,   FRBRUARY 14, 1989
No. 32
PEPSTERS TO
SPONSOR BIG
DANCE FEB. 23
PEPSTERS TO  BE CALLED
"MAMOOKS"
The Pep Club Is no more. MAMOOKS ls the new official name for
the former Pep Clubbers. To celebrate their new organization, a monster Varsity Potlatch ls being held
on February 33, in the Palomar Ballroom.
Fifteen hundred tickets will be
sold, at only 28 cents each, for the
affair. Proceeds for the danoe will
go to swell the coffers of the Union
Building Fund. This profit Is possible because of the generosity of
Mr. Hy Singer, owner and manager
of the Palomar, who is very kindly
giving the hall and the orchestra
of Dal Richards to the University
students.
POTLATCH MOTIF.
Bus Ryan, whose witty ad Ubbing
has been shown already in the Pep
Meets, will act as M.C. thus ensuring
a lively and wonderful time for all.
Decorations, ln the potlatch motif,
will sponsor striking novelties and,
streamers, according to Ken Shaw.
It is expected that the Potlatch
will provide a real Impetus to the
Union Building Fund, as the price
is within the reach of all. Tickets
will be on sale at the end o* this
week, at only 25 cents each. Outsiders will be charged 50 cents at the
door.
At a meeting of the society, on
Monday noon, the club was completely reorganized on a highly competitive basis, following the system
suggested by the President, Ken
Shaw. Under this system, only those
really meriting promotion will get lt.
In the new Executive, Yell Leader
Is Ken Shaw; Secretary-Treasurer ls
Bob Klncade, and Master of Ceremonies, Bus Ryan. J. Allen Harris,
Professor of Analytical Chemistry, ls
Honorary President.
Increased interest is being shown
by the fraternities, seven of which
have representatives in the Mamooks.
EVEN THE AGGIES
HAVE THEIR NIGHT
TO HOWL   !x?$
Aggie Students . . . get the mothballs out of last summer's tattered
togs and prepare to enjoy yourselves
at the event of the year, the Aggie
Barn Dance, on February 17, at the
Marine Drive Oolf and Country Club.
A hilarious time ls promised by Stan
Weston and Jack Campbell, who are
arranging   this   hayseed   frolic.
There will be modern music as well
as a little old-fashioned, and there
will be stunts and games and extra-
special refreshments for all. The only
condition Is that you come ln old
clothes, and that you come prepared
for fun.
P.S.: Artsmen will be able to get
a  few  tickets  this  week.
COMING THROUGH THE FOO!
UKRAINE  PROBLEM
AT FORUM THURSDAY
Shall Hitler bo allowed to swallow
up the Ukraine In his march to the
East? This ls one of the many questions relevant to the prominent Oor-
mano-TTkralne situation that will be
discussed by Forum members at
their next meeting Thursday night,
Feb.   10   at.   7.30   p.m.   in   Arts   100.
F'oh Morris, one of th*1 more promising of the newer members will load
tho .uovei-nment forces ln support, of
the resolution "That, the acquisition
of the Ukraine hy (he Oerman Reich
Is   justifiable."
\'.'iss Klspeth Munro, who enjoys
the distinction of being the only
woman member in the Forum, will
lead Ihe opposition. Everybody ls
welcome.
$-t/fV
K very body and his wife are going to the Science Ball to find out what the this Fourth Dimension is all
about. According to some astrononUcally-mlnded Sclencemen on the Campus, the Fourth Dimension Is defined
as time—and time Is stuff that the StUtan and all his girls are going to have a.   •
(Any of you men of Soience who are still looking for a date for the Ball are asked to see the Sultan about
it ... he doesn't know what to do about that unbeliever up there without the veil.)
20th Annual Science Ball
Promises  to   Outshine
Former Science Successes
FAMOUS GIRL TRIO
HERE THURSDAY NOON
Wliy do tho eyes of an older Science professor mist a bit and
assume that far away look when he refers to the mighty men of
Ihe early Science "20's? "Why can he expound so freely upon the
merits of thoso wonder hoys? "They wore tlie best studenls
Varsity ever had,"—thoy didn't j*ivo a damn for any damn man,
ilioy were first class athletes, most of them played several major
sports as well as class lvalues,—oh yes- -they wore super, super
artsmen haters, and (hero it is folks) thoy were the originators of
the Soience Hall.
'FIRST   BALL.
'Way back In 1920 the engineers
held their flrst Science Ball. It was
at Lester Court on Feb. 11, and the
boys were gracious enough to take a
few of the choicer Co-eds, originally
dated by artsmen who found lt Impossible to acquire tickets (for any
amount of filthy lucre). Patrons included President and Mrs. Kllnck
and Professor and Mrs. J. M. Turn-
bull (our own Rossland Jack). Dr.
C. O. swanson (now the wonder of
the geological department) was president of Sc. 21 and took an active
part In the arrangements for the
Ball.
The second Science Ball in 1031
was graced with the presence of
fifteen Artsmen, but In 1022 the
Artsmen were bounced and the affair was a colossal success, even If
the music was supplied by a pipe
band.
In 1923 the Student Campaign for,
a Point Grey Campus was In full
swing. The Engineers, displaying
their usual famous fighting form and
university spirit, came thru' with a
donation of $100, tho profit from a
Science Ball that was acclaimed the
No. 1 party of the year.
PUNCH.
The following year the Idea of using a decoration theme was accepted,
and Lester Court was disguised as a
moonlight night ln June, with silver
stars hanging from above and a large
electrically lighted sign, called The
Moon of Many Faces, supplying the
light.
In 1928 each department of Engineering was represented by an electric sign. In addition the word SCIENCE was displayed ln glass tubing
with punch flowing through it. Reliable sources report that the punch
was 100 per cent, fruit Juice and
II20.
When the "Bigger" became as apparent as the "Better" ln the slogan
for the Science, the affair was held
in the Hotel Vancouver. Before many
years hart passed the Artsmen caught
on. and held the Arts Ball there too,
and it was at. once of these affairs
that pandemonium and stuff ensued
when the lights went out, and stayed
Under the auspices of the National
Council of Education of Canada, the
Canadian Trio will be presented ln
the University Auditorium February
17.
The members of this Trio are the
three Nelson sisters, Ida, Zara and
Anna.  They  are  accomplished  musicians,  both  in  solo  and  ensemble
work,   and   have   long   been   world
famous.
The    three    sisters    were    born    in
Winnipeg  during  the  war,  and spent
their childhood ln Canada. Inheriting
a musical tradition from their father
and  grandfather,   the   three  children
learned  to  play   their  Instruments  at
tho ages of four, six and seven. Their
father adapted  trios  to  their varying
technical capacities  thus  they  played
together   from   their   early   childhood
and  laid  the  foundation  for  the fine
ensemble   they   have   achieved   today.
So  great   was   her   Inherent   desire
for musical expression, that Zara, the
youngest,  learned   to  play  on  a  viola
converted Into  a   'cello at  the age  of
four.   Of   her   today   they   mark   her
remarkably  rich   and  searching   tone,
her   Interpretative,   full  spirit  as  well
as  technical grace and facility which
justifies   her   Inclusion   In   the  list   of
lhe   ten   greatest   soloists   now   before
the public.
Ida  was  given  her  first  violin  at
six and since then has studied under    Sascha    Lasserson    and    Miss
Ed'tha    Knocker.    In   spite   of   her
youth, her appealing tone, accuracy
of intonation,  and fresh expertness
at   her   instrument   reveal   that  she
is a  musician  to  her  fingertips.
Anna, the eldest and pianist of  the
group,   at   an   early   age,   learned   the
rudiments   of  music   from  her  father
and   she   has   ever  since  been   a   distinguished   member  of   the  Trio.   Her
rhythm   and   legato   nlmbleness   have
won  her  acclaim   from  the  critics.
The separate musicianship of this
group ls above question and because
of their unique upbringing they have
■solved the difficult, problem of ensemble.
(Continued   on   Pago  2)
See aOTII ANNUAL HALL
Another Seance
with Yorgenssen
at   Pep   Meet
*_ ■ 	
WHAT?? ANOTHER SCIENCE
PEP MEETING?? Yes, bigger and
better   than   ever!
Ole Olsen and his Red-Sweatered
Band, complete with the red bowlers,
will be "giving" in the approved Science style.
Bus Ryan, the old rug-cutter,
wtll M.C, in his usual Inimitable
manner. It's all rlglht girls, Bus
still refuses to lead the gang in
"Caviar"—in spite of numerous inducements from the boys in the
Industrial Chem. Lab.
KEE  POUT.
The front section of the auditorium
will be roped off for Redshirts and
Redsklrts only. Artsmen are hereby
warned not to try and crash past
His Satanic Majesty's Red Sweatered
Guards.
It has been rumoured that the original Earl Kelly will again regall
the assembled multitudes with his
cherce but censored tld-blts of campus news.
THAT  MAN   IS  HERE   AGAIN.
Yogi Yorgenssen, the Hindu Mistake from Stockholm, India, has
again been asked to take a couple of
"sqvermlng sqveamlsh sqvints" at the
Crystal Ball to see what ls ln store
for poor ignorant Artsmen. Yogi Is
a bit shy about putting in an appearance since making so many
caustic comments last year, but he
has promised to gild the future as
much as possible In order to save
the blushes of innocent  freshettes.
COME ONE   -   COME ALL
TO THE SCIENCE BRAWL
NEW   MUSIC,   NEW   FUN,   NEW   THRILLS   WITH
OLE MAESTRO OLSEN
The Selenee ICxcoutlvo under the leadership of the man with the Irish
Krlu, Alfle Allen, nre seen ubove discussing Htiaiio.es, decorations ami who
and how many aro receiving; invitations fnv the lli.il. Cam liini; and Kay
Junes are urgiiing across Aide's how while in the hiickground may be seen
Laurence Ciai-vlc, Charlie Nash. Charles l.igMhull, Uud Hurden. Hus l.yan,
•fuck   Maxwell  and   Rex   I'nrker.
The above group wore (-might In the I'ub office worrying on how to
spoyy  "Clous"   for  the   Rod  Issue.
A B
The    Executive   of   the    Sciencemen's   Undergraduates   take
fii-oat    pleausre    in   presenting   for   your   enjoyment   the   annual
Science Hall.     This year's edition   of   the   "Greatest   Dance   on
earth" will be held this Thursday in the Commodore Cabaret.
■ . .
Lending their Patronage are Chancellor and Mrs. McKechnie, President
and Mrs. Kllnck, Dean and Mrs. Finlayson, Colonel Wilkin and Miss Ma-
be!    Gray.
We should like to extend to every
one in the University a cordial ln-
vitatlo nto attend. We can't do that.
We can extend that Invitation to
every Scienceman, and we know that
the Ball will be attended by every
Scienceman who can beg, borrow, or
otherwise obtain the price of a ticket.
ARTS  TICKETS LIMITED.
This   leaves    only    a    very   limited
number   of   tickets   for   Artsmen   and
Aggies.   The   exact   number   will   depend on how  many  Sclencemen  can
find   the   elusive  three   bucks.   These
extra tickets will be on sale on Wednesday and Thursday, February  15th
and 16th, as previously announced.
Elsewhere   ln   this   Issue   you   may
read   of   previous   Science   Balls.   In
every  case  an  effort has  been  made
to  surpass   the  Ball  of   the  previous
year. These efforts  may  not all have
been successful,  but ln  the  course of
years  they  have raised  the standards
until   it   seems   almost   impossible   to
continue   to   make   each   one   better
than the last.
In preparing for this year's Science Ball we have realized this
seeming Impossibility — and put
forth every effort, until gradually
we have seen the Impossible becoming the probable, and out of
the chaos of preliminary preparation is emerging a Science Ball that
will surpass everything) that has
gone before.
Only   those   Sclencemen   who   have
been   working   on   this   project   can
realize   the   tremendous   efforts   that
have been put forth. Alfle Allen and
his   executive   have   given   up   nearly
every noon-hour for a month to work
on   programs   and   decorations.     The
results   reflect   the   enthusiasm    that
has   gone   to  bring   them   about.
This    Science    Ball    ls    expected    to
break   all   previous   records   ln   a   lot
of   ways.   Those   fortunate   enough   to
obtain  tickets will  see  something  entirely  new  In  decorations;   they'll  see
and  feel  the greatest revival of good
red   Science    Spirit     since     old   eggs
plastered   the  walls  of  Arts   100;   and
after  the Ball Is over—well—Science-
men   always   behave   like   gentlemen,
and     usually     take     their     partners
home   before  dawn.
Varied Careers
Of Engineering
Faculty  Staff
PROFESSOR  A.  LIOHTHALL
"Abe" as he is more commonly
known to students $$d faculty, graduated from MoOill, in'08. Never
one to waste
time, he started
working on construction of O.
P. R. without
waiting for the
graduation ceremony. He spent
his younger years working for the
Dominion Oovernment as Dominion
Land Surveyor and Hydrographer,
and ln 1920 joined the Civil Engineering Department.
The Outdoor Olub had Abe as lte
flrst Hon. President. He even walked
up the hill every week-end to superintend construction of their first
cabin.
Sclencemen do not meet Abe until
their third year but when they do I—
No more smoking during three-hour
problem labs.
COLONEL   WILKIN
Colonel Wilkin, as everyone knows,
is primarily a railroad man. That
worthy Godfather of Scienceman has
been so thoroughly Impregnated with
r ft 11 r oading
that it can't
help but leak
out at the
least provocation.
He graduated ln mining engineering     at
McGiil and turned westward to follow his profession. He soon became
involved in railroad work ln B.C. His
first work was In the mining camps
of Rossland, and later he joined tho
B.C. land survey. He left the survey
and started working for the C.P.R.
on construction, right-of-way, and
finally on location reconnaissance.
.He Is the man responsible for the
location of about 90 per cent, of the
Western C.P.R.. Including the difficult Coqulhalla, and Rocky Mountain pass routes.
He   tried   consulting   work   for   two
years   In   Rossland   and   one   ln   Vancouver,   but   finally   returned   to   the .
mote   profitable   railroad   work   with
the C.P.R.
At the outbreak of the war he went
overseas with the first contingent. He
left Canada ln 1914 as lieutenant ln
the machine gun corps. Two years
later he had risen to lieutenant-
commander. At the Somme the men
were mowed down so fast that he
rose six steps in three weeks. In May
1918 lie was transferred to tlie railway  troops.
After the war he returned to Canada and worked for the C.P.R. again.
In 1922 he joined the teaching staff
at U.B.C. as part time instructor, and
in 1925 was appointed to the permanent  staff.
PROFESSOR   TURNBULL
Because of his many stories of the
early days of the Rossland mining
camp, Professor Turnbull Is familiarly known as 'Rossland Jack." After
graduating from McOlll University
in the dim and remote days of '97,
Mr. Turnbull proceeded to round out
his education the hard way. He .:<i-v-
ed   his     time    as     engineer,   .-.".rveyor,
(Continued   on   Page   Two)
See   PROFIOS.SOl.S Two
THE    UBYSSEY
Tuesday, February 14, 1939
THE   UBYSSEY
Issued twice weekly by the Students' Publication Board of the Alma Mater
Society of the University of British Columbia.
Office: ZOO Auditorium Building ... Phone Point Grey 200
a
Campus Subscriptions, $1.50 Mall  Subscriptions, $2.00
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
Dorothy  Cummings
SOIENCE EDITORIAL BOARD
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
Jack Mair, Chem.   '40
SENIOR   EDITOR
Alfle   Allen,   Geol.   '39
ASSOCIATE  EDITORS
Cam   King,   Civil   '39;   Chuck   Lighthall,   Civil   '40;   Bud   Burden,   Geol.   '40 ;
Ray Jones, Mining  '39;   Ron  Renshaw,  Sc.   '41;   Laurence  Garvle,  Elec.  '39;
Rex Parker, Se. '42;   Charlie Nash, Sc.  '42.
CARTOONIST
Jack Maxwell
. COLUMNISTS
Bus  Ryan, Sc. '41;   Ray Jones,  Min.  '39;   Rex Parker,  Sc.  '42;
Cam King, Civil '39.
Advertising  Office
Standard Publishing Co., 1037 Pender Street West, Vancouver, B.C.
Telephone:  SEYMOUR 4484
All advertising handled exclusively by Standard Publishing Co.
Editorials
A SCIENCE ISSUE IS BORN
At this time of the year all good Groundhogs nnd Sciencemen
crawl out of their respective burrows—the former to inspect their
shadows, the latter to have their annual flinK—the Science Ball.
Here, however tho analogy ends. The groundhogs have been sleeping all winter, the Sciencemen ... oh well  . .  .
This yar tho Redshirts have bestirred themselves n little earlier
than usual—why?-—to take over this issue of the Ubyssey. All day
yesterday, while flasks of weird chemicals bubbled over in deserted
labs, while draughting instruments rusted in dust covered desks,
hundreds of assorted Sciencemen swarmed into the peaceful precincts of the Pub Office, and began nmnhindling the typewriters,
getting their beards into the glue pots and generally raising the
roof.
With high spirits and bright, well scrubbed faces they surged
into the Pub early yesterday morning and soon some were hunched
over the unfamiliar typewriters grinding out the doings of the
various organizations on the campus while others busied themselves fitting the elusive words of the Knglish language into the
numerous heads and decks (thoso things you sec over the stories).
As the day wore on and the novelty wore oft", the spirits of
the now subdued "Kngineors began to droop, but a pop talk by
ertswhile Editor Alfle Allen revived thein and soon—lo and behold
-—-the last bit of copy was finished.
Tlio future builders of civilization thou trouped gleefully
down to the local printory and here covered themselves with
assorted glory and printer's ink as thoy read proof, made up the
pages and performed the various other tasks necessary in getting
a paper out—while grim b\ft determined printers plowed hither
and yon through the crimson horde and managed to bring a little
order out of the chaos.
AT T.AST—the groat moment arrived—tho "pulling" of the
proofs of the completed pages. A hush fell over the assembled
multitude while the printers performed their mystic rites. As the
proofs came off and were held up to the crowd of now bleary-eyed
spectators, oven the fifth year netegenarians forgot their dignity
and a general cheer went up from the mob. SCI 10N't.'.'. HAD UONK
IT AflAIN! ...
ln the interest of truth, however, it must bo reported that the
day was not without its minor mishaps. After the furore had died
down it was found that five Sciencemen had been injured. Throe
had dislocated their shoulders patting themselves on the back and
the other- two had been killed in the rush over to the (ieorgia to
recuperate  from the ordeal of the day.
DULOE ET DECORUM EST . . .
Seriously though, this Science issue is being brought out to
acquaint ono and all with THK funotion of the year—the Science
Ball. The Engineers are promising not only to uphold the tradition
of former years but to throw a Ball that will put every previous
ono in the shade. So we'll be seein' you!
20th ANNUAL BALL
(Continued from Page I)
AROUND
>
*
^^0>
THE HALLS
By ROXY
out for twenty long minutes. A well
known Scienceman was pursued out
the side entrance of the hotel along
,-Oranville Street by the fleet-footed
house detective.
DIFFICULTIES.
The young Engineer had a rather
embarrassing time explaining how lt
came to pass that he was in posses- i
slon of certain special fuses that
were absolutely necessary for the
successful operation of the lighting
syste min certain parts of the hotel.
Including the Crystal Ballroom. Needless to say the Sclencemen were prepared the following year for a return
compliment, but as usual none was
forthcoming. ■
In  liKl.  the  Ball  was  held  at  the
Commodore   Cabaret.   Shortly   after
the    Science    one   of    tho    sororities
held   a.   charity   dance   at   the   Commodore   and   engaged   as   entertaln-
i-i-s     a     certain     group     of     artistic
• lancers.   The   dancers   were   too   too
•artistic   and    The    Powers   That    He
ordered   "no   more   University   functions   at   the   Commodore."
Hence,   for   Ihe   next    two   years   Ihe
Science   Hall    was   held   at    Ihe   Hotel
Vancouver.   Tn   l!Kir>   all   was   forgiven,
and    all      hii's.e    University      functions
vere  hold   at   the Commodore,   including   Ihi-   Science.
Since   that   lime,  dear  readers,  most
FILM SOCIETY SHOWS
NEW FILM TECHNIQUE
On Friday, February 17, the Film
Society will have as their guests the
National Film Society and at which
time one of Emil Jannlngs' pictures
"The Last Laugh" will be presented.
"The Last Laugh," together with
E. A. Dupont's not widely dissimilar
"Variety" (1925) brought the Oerman
cinema universal acclaim, led to the
rather complete Gcrmnnlzatlon of
tho Hollywood studios for a time,
and introduced a wide-spread though
not always Intelligent use of travel-
lint;- cameras and stra.nte photographic   tricks.
Several shorts will accompany this
feature and tho showing will start
at 8:15. Extra has service will be provided. Tickets will he on sale In the
quad  box  office   Friday  noon.
of you have seen or heard tell of the
wonders of tlio Science Ball—two
(Hit's back the theme was Satan's
Open House, and last, year it. was
Ihe   mechanical   age   of   R'-'iots.
This year the 20th Science Rail
will, without doubt, overshadow
those of the past, our decorations,
our music our food, our Science
spirit, and (so sorry) our price of
tlokets are planned on a grand
scale—we   hope   you   enjoy   It.
A COLUMN
Somebody suggested that we write
a column. Hurrah! We thought,
here's' a chance to take a crack at
somebody. That blighter from up
country with the spurious English
accent. That Clean-cut Youth with
his tweeds and Iron-shod brouges.
That dissipated-looking athlete with
his high waist and his swagger. That
prof, who sneers at sciencemen. That
Complete Scienceman who smokes a
pipe, wears no tie, and deliberately
says "ain't." That slimy Pepster with
his slimy jokes. That red-haired
woman who told me to pipe down ln
the periodical room. All the snobs
In a certain corner of the caf. All
Artsmen. And oh, lots of others.
Now the time has come. And what
have we to say about these people?
Nothing, because 1. It would take
too much time. 2. It would take too
much space. 3. Nobody cares what
wet think of them anyway.
What does one put ln a column
anyway? The Editor says we should
lampoon somebody or something. Or
did he just say we should lampoon
generally. What doea lampoon mean?
Nobody but a pubster would know
anyway. I hate these people ln the
pub. They are almost all Artsmen.
They hang around making remarks
about people's typing. People say
they drink. They do. They accept
complimentaries to parties and then
complain about them. And that
knowing air! That bragging about
the number of lectures they cut and
the high marks they get anyway!
Why don't they come right out and
say they're brain? No wonder some
of them grow up to be English Professors.
And now to lampoon (?) a few
Aggies. I know a miner who is an
Aggie und a streetcar conductor who
ls an Aggie and an Aggie who Isn't
anything at all. Why are they Aggies? Well, you say, some day they
are going to be formers or gardeners or bug-hunters. No, you're wrong
again. The real reason is this: they
haven't the brains to be Sciencemen
and yet they aren't quite low enough
to be Artsmen.
PUN
We're still gloating over the way
the Frosh President made his debut
last month. $t was arranged ln tho
traditional Science fashion, under the
capable leadership of . . . well we'd
better not say who, but he ls tall,
dark, and distinguished looking, never wears a tie and shaved off a repulsive-looking moustache sometime
last year. Why haven't the Artsmen
done something about lt? We know-
why. Oh boy! If Sykea were only
here!
Science Hall "Don'ts for Beginners"
Don't drink, (much)
Don't smoke,  (other people's cigarettes)
Don't  sing,   (off key)
Don't  dance,   (unless  you  can)
Don't swing,   (on   the chandeliers)
Don't   pet.    (somebody   else's   part-
nurj
HAVE A OOOD TIME!
Diary of a
Scienceman's
Stomach
By SKOOKUM SLIM
7 A.M.—Mlgawd what a night!
Wonder If I'll be abused as I was
yesterday? Just disposed of a bro-
mo-seltzer and a barrel of tomato
juice. We ran for a bus (missed It)
which meant that I took an awful
beating.
0.00 A.M. A cup of caf coffee.
Ugh!
10.30 A.M.
11.30 A.M.
12.30   A.M.
"Let me serve your oar and your oar will serve you"
"Frank" Floke
U.B.C.  SERVICE STATION
24-Hour Emergency Service.
SOUTH  END OF McGILL ROAD
Complete  Repair  Facilities.
PT.  GREY  53
A glass of water.
Another glass of water.
Tomato Juice, grapefruit juice, caf coffee, three glasses
of -water and twelve aspirins. I'm
doing somersaults but I can take lt.
1.30 P.M. A glass of water.
2.30 P.M. Small portion of Chem.
Lab alcohol and a Coke. I feel much
better, but I still sound like a babbling  brook.
3.30 P.M.—Nothing for an hour. I
hope his throat Isn't cut.
4.30 P.M. An extra large helping
of alcohol and hydrochloric acid, I'll
soon be up to par.
5.30 P.M. A glass of waten Oawd,
I hate the stuff. m
6.00 P.M. A bottle of flat beer.
Boy, could I go for something solid.
6.30 P.M. Dlnrver at last. Clgm
chowder, oysters on the half-shell (I
don't know which half I got), seven
pork chops, french-frled potatoes,
green peas, carrots, four cuts of pie
and ten cups of coffee. It makes me
feel like a new man. O.K. boss, already for the night.
8.00 P.M. At the Oeorgla. Four
quick   ones.     Here   we   go   again.
8.30 P.M. Over to the Devlnshlre
for a couple.
9.00 P.M. Down to the Arctic Club
for four of those smooth gin fizzes.
I'm  right  ln  the  groove.
9.30 P.M. Back to the Oeorgla.
Four  more.
10.00 P.M. Two quickies ln the
Vancouver.
10.15 P.M. Picked up two in the
Castle. I'm Just about ready to get
started.
10.45 P.M. At last, three supercol-
ossal Tom Collins at the Railway-
men's Club. Whoops—keep lt up,
boss!
11.15 P.M. Back to Sloppy Joe's
after an absence of almost eighteen
hours. Come on, let's beat it, boss,
this   stuff  ia   lousy.
12.00 P.M. Over at Louie the Lug's
on Keefer Street. Nice place. Bum
beer.
1.00 A.M. Moved to Nigger Jean's.
Oops, here comes a chicken tamale.
Lord, It's hot! Whew! Wish the boss
would keep still, he's making me
burble.
2.00 A.M. Just bounced past the
door of Marie's. Nice girl but I
wish she'd keep her hands off me.
Hey, quit tickling my watch-pocket.
2.30 A.M. Still at Marie's. Here
comes the hot rum. Ymmm, they're
good. Keep 'em coming, chief. I'm
doing all right, only one hundred and
sixty nine  burps since dinner.
3.30 A.M. At the local dog-wagon.
One hamburger smothered with onions and mustard. Damn! Why
doesn't the boss put cream and sugar
ln his coffee.
4.15 A.M. Home again, and so to
bed.     I  feel   fine.     I   f-e-e-1    f-l-n-e.    I
f-e-e-e-1   f-l-i-1 Ughhhhhhh!       v
ED. NOTE:
Great Imagination these Science-
men, what?
}.,IIII,,I,,,,,,,,I,,M,Hill,,,,,,,,,,,,I,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,a,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
: *
I UNIVERSITY BOOK STORE
s
I Hi's.: I) a.m. to 5 p.m.; Saturdays 0 a.m. to noon
| LOOSE   LEAF   NOTE  BOOKS,  EXERCISE   BOOKS   AND
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i
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I and  Drawing Instruments. SALE
3
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u.
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ROOST
SALI
"W
SBURY LODGE ANNEX
rhere The
Gang Meets"
LUNCH 25o
DINNER
35o
YOUTH MARCHES ON
SPECIAL UNIVERSITY RATE
Saturday Night—$1.00 per person
PRESENT YOUR STUDENT PASS
Commodore Cabaret
872 Granville Street
Sey. 41 for Reservations
PROFESSORS
(Continued from Page One)
This is a scene from the .Uni "Vouth Marches Ou" wliloh is to bt- shown
at tin- Capitol Theatre start lug Thusrn.v. Throe U.H.C. students Imv—o
parts in the filin, one of wlieni Is seen above .second from the left. In Ihe
person  of   Dave Carey,   last year's   -'resident   of the  Students'  Counoil,
property examiner, and even spent
some time coal mining. It was his
service in these many capacities that
makes him so well able to pass on
to the younger crop of mining engineers the knowledge that will enable
them to enter the tough Held of mining perhaps a little better equipped
than the old-timers were.
Mr. Turnbull entered the mining
life of British Columbia at a time
when university graduates were looked upon as something a little bit
foreign, and entirely unnecessary to
mining. It ls due to the efforts of
such men as he that the university-
trained man occupies the place he
does today ln the mining life of the
province.
One of the big reasons for Professor Turnbull's popularity among his
students Is that away from the lecture-room he ls very much "one of
the boys."
DEAN  J.   N.  FINLAYSON
We have no details of his life prior
to his graduation from McOill ln
Civil Engineering in 1908. He took
his M.Sc. the following year. He then
started work with the Halifax and
Eastern Railway, later moving to the
Canadian Pacific Railway. Deciding
that bridges were more his line he
became a Draughtsman for Waddell
<te Harrington, Kansas City. His next
move was as Erection Engineer for
the same company, working largely
ln British Columbia.
The Classroom then called him
and he became Head of the Department of Civil Engineering at Dalhousle University, Halifax, acting as
a Consulting Engineer in his spare
time. The University of Manitoba
was the next scene of his labours
where he was Head of the Department  of  Civil  Engineering.
In 1936 he came West as the Dean
of the Faculty of Applied Science at
U.B.C. He ls a member of the -jlngl-
THE CHAROE OF THE TIOHT
BRIGADE
By Hugh Taylor, Sclenoe '43
Half a step, half a step,
Half a  step  onward.
All  ln  the  Commodore
Danced the three hundred
"Forward the  Tight  Brigade!
Charge lt to dad!" they said:
Into  the Commodoy
Marched the three hundred.
Forward,  the Tight  Brigade!
Was lt the women who paid?
No!   the  Sclencemen  said.
Someone  had  blundered:
Their  not  to make  reply,
Theirs but to do  or  try:
Down at the Commodore
Danced   the   three   hundred.
Patron   to   right   of   them,
Patron to left  of them,
Patron  ln  front  of them
Looked on,and wondered,
Ole  supplied  the  swing,
Sclencemen  began to sing
The  verses   of  Cam   King,
Down  at  the  Commodore
All  the  three hundred.
When can their glory fade?
Who knows the price they paid?
Everyone  wondered.
Honour the girls who stayed .
And danced with the Tight Brigade,
Noble   three  hundred!
VALENTINE DANCE FOR
UNIVERSITY B. C. T. A.
The University Branch of the B. O.
T. P. are holding a Valentine Dance
on Tuesday, Feb. 14 at Killarney
Hall. Tickets for this event may be
obtained from any member of the
B. O. T. p. executive at only 50 cents
each.
nerelng Institute of Canada and the
American Society of Civil Engineers.
He ls also a Council Member of the
Association of Professional Engineers
in British Columbia.
TRINITY 3377
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iiiiii.ii,mn Tuesday, February 14, 3 939
THE    UBYSSEY
Three
CHOP SUEY SEES RED
OB
"The Case Of The Wily
Nurse**
You can lead a Scienceman to
water, but . . . .
—Chop Suey p. 3 59 chp. viixx.
A pale yellow glow bobbled and
weaved over the shoudod quad, moving through the low-hanging mist
with a cjueer gurgling sound. On
nearlng the library, the glow disintegrated into two terribly Jaundiced
masks, more or less attached to the
bodies of Jack Stank and Ned Mag-
gotts, who we,,e slowly recovering
from a sea voyage.
The wavering rays, penetrating the
walls of the library, disclosed the
queenly figure of Melon Pann, shuffling on padded feet through the solemn labrylnths of the stacks. She
had Just reached shelf P-87, Sc. 40
when she tripped over a slip-stick,
murdered horribly at the hands of an
unltlated Artsman, while trying to
prove that two times three was not
6.07 repeater. Uurslng her toe meditatively, a maidenly curse escaped
her lips, but suddenly hope dawned
within her. "Ah! Sclencemen, at
last." She renewed her quest with
eager pantlngs as she realized that
nothing could Harm'er.
THE PLOT THICKENS
At the mention of the magic word
"Sciencemen," the mist slowly began
to clear from the Applied Science
Building, revealing one lone light
guttering from the Red-Sweated
Boys' paradise. Propped up around
a table were eight members of the
SMUT executive, reading by the rays
emanating from four light-headed
members of the Arts Faculty who
were chanting "Shine Little Glowworm" as they hung from the ceiling by their feet.
Peering over the  table-top,  Oaf
Allen  banged   hla   hands   on   the
ohalr legs and screamed—-"Order 1
Order."   The clamoring alienee waa
Interrupted    by  a muffled   squeak
from the far  corner of the  room.
"Make mine a _h-j~*t beer."   In the
corner,  sans pince-nez  and  pants,
wus Mr. Hedgequlck, who had be- '
come ensconced and padlocked Inside two forty-ounce bottles of the
best.
With   a  quick   motion,  which   was
duly seconded and passed, Still Bacon
Jumped   to   the   corner  and    burbled,
"Let's roll him over to the Distilling
Committee."    For this  nasty  suggestion, Still Bacon was given a season's
pass to all functions held by the Rec
tangle Club.
THE HAND OF FATE
Just as Porous Pepper, representing the Nertses, prepared to lend a
hand, there was a quivering and
shaking of the building, accompanied by a tumultuous roar, Mr.
Hedgequlck popped his casket and
with a vanilla extract-flavored hiccup wheezed, "I was mistook for a
Frosh."      He   slowly   subsided   when
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ho was allowed to sit beside Ethyl
Alcohol, daughter of a very close acquaintance.
As    Oaf   Allen     announced     the
number of remaining tickets, now
In the hands of Porous Pepper, six
figures slithered out from between
the pages of the log-book, and with
a  deft  Interpolation  there  appeared  through  a blue fog  Chop  Suey
and Ave fluttering wlng-jlngs. With
a fiendish cackle, Chop caused the
floor   to   collapse   hurling    all   the
executive,  save Porous,  Into a  pit
of   Cocoa-Cola,    and   not   even    a
straw to clutch.   Wrapping herself
In    a    haze    of    El-Stuffo,    Porous
headed for the nearest exit through
the  Geology  Lab.
A quick  application  of soda-water
revived     Hedgequlck,    and    with    a
screachlng of gears,  Chop-Chop  and
Hedgequlck gave  chase,  followed  by
the   five   fluttering   wlng-jlngs.     Entering the Oeology Lab., a quick flick
of   the  wrist  and   a    muttered    oath
were enough to change forty Palaeozoic fossils into Artsmen, ready for
the chase.    Out onto the quad went
Porous, with the cursing mob ln hot
pursuit.    Smirking ruefully, and with
malice   aforethought,   Porous   tossed
over her shoulder one of the few remaining     Science-Ball    tickets    and
chuckled    fiendishly    as    the   ticket
turned   Into  an   immobile   weed-pulling   gardener,   thus   causing  all    the
Artsmen to commit Harl-Karl.
With a gesture of despair, as she
saw Hedgequlck and Chop-chop
gaining on her, Poor Porous drew
out from her hip-pocket a glass container and let lt smash at the feet
of Mr. Hedgequlck, showing a pickled kidney. A cry of anguish escaped Hedgequlck's lips and he rolled
on the ground clasping the pickled
kidney to him and crying "Alas, my
poor Brother."
Five Wlng-jlngs and Chop-Suey!
Will Poor Porous Pepper escape?
Don't guess. Just read on. The war
was on. Ten million asthma germs f-
were massed on the border ready for
attack.
WHAT—NO   ZETES?
Down Into certain Sanctuary, the
Caf, dashed Porous. Right past
Prof. What-a-Wage and four yo-yos
she fled, not even heeding the eminent mathematician as he grinned
into a cup of Caf Coffee and murmured "You're not mud, are you?"
Will Porous be able to hide In
the Caf debris?
Will   Chop-Suey   get   a   Ucket   to
the Science Hall?
.Will . . . well, read next Issue and
Scienceman: "I Just brought home
a skunk."
Artsman Roommate: "Where ya
gonna keep him?"
Scienceman:   "I'm   going   to   tie   him
under your bed."
Artsman Roommate: "What about
the smell?"
Scienceman: "He'll have to get
used to It like I did."
* •      *
Science Reporter: "I've got a perfect news  story."
Editor: "How come? Did a man
bite a dog?"
Science Reporter: "No, a hydrant
sprinkled one."
* *      *
Artsman: "When I was in Kngland
I saw a bed twenty feet long."
Scienceman:   "That   sounds   like   a
lot of bunk to me."
*.      *      *
Artsmen are blue,
Aggies are pink.
After a Sclenceman's
Thirteenth drink.
* *      *
Caller:   "Is  your  mother  engaged?"
Artsman:   "I   think   she's   married."
* #      *
Artsman: "Yep, I had a beard like
yours once, but when I realized how
it made me look I cut it-off."
Scienceman: "Well, I had a face
like yours once, and when I realized
that I couldn't cut it off, I grew this
beard."
+       +       *
Artsman: "Are you troubled with
improper   thoughts?"
Scienceman:   "Naw,  I  enjoy   them."
SCIENCEMAN'S   LULLABYE
Rocknbye  baby in  tlie  treetop,
Don't,  fall  out.
It's a hell of a drop.
t.       *       *
STORY
Once upon a time there were two
Sciencemen. Thero are lots of them
now.
To Chang Suey .  .  .
Roses are red
Love is hooey
1 pity the girl
Who marries Chang Suey!
Mary Ann iiii
Time is an essential element for the purchasing of footwear, and
now is the time to participate in the removal sale at Raeson's Mezzanine Floor, 644 Granville Street, before they,move to their new quarters . . . evening sandals . . . high-gore pumps . . . afternoon slippers
. . . and all other types of shoes for all occasions. . . .
A car certainly has its uses, especially when it conies to smuggling passengers on board . . . when the car -was carefully guided
onto the invasion boat at Victoria a passenger -was smuggled in . . .
and was camoflaged as a car rug, suitcases and other paraphenalia . . ,
These shoes are being sold at the one price $3.75 and the sooner
yoti visit Raeson's Mezzanine Floor Shoe Store, the greater will be
your choice. ... so visit 644 Granville Street before exams claim all
your time. . . .
fi fi fi
Before the ball a suptuous dinner of chicken a la king at the
Dolphin will start the evening right . . . for pre-dance dinner parties
all reservations should be made by phoning Point Grey 103 and planning the menu with Mr. Harwood. . . .
A lizzy load of outdoor clubbers had a series of strange accidents . . . seven flats in one day . . . and then to take up a little more
time in hunting . . . the screw driver was conveniently left in between
the tire and tube of the spare, and just as conveniently forgotten . . .
certainly a progression from the out-of-gas days. . . .
A word to the wise Sciencemen . . . before your annual ball—start
the evening festivities at the Dolphin in their French-Canadian dining
room . . . reservations are limited so make yours early . . . for smaller
groups the Dolphin on Marine Drive has special evening reservation
rates . . . combined with a delicious bill of fare. . . .
Japonica, the exotic new shade for spring hosiery will blend with
navy or black shoes as well as the new japonica shoes. . . . For this
new shade of hosiery go to Phoebe Hosiery Shop, 713 Dunsmuir Street
. . . for the brown outfit crepes and chiffons in red wine, the sister
color of red clay, burgundy and the flattering wine crush tone are
harmonizing colors. . . .
The dark haired third year student mentioned last week who
had his seat changed so that he could sit next to a girl and thereby
increase his feminine acquaintances has been unsuccessful so far, in
starting a conversation with the girl in question. However, we have
learned that the girl slavishly copies his lecture notes word for word.
We advise him to write a proposal and answer into his notes . . . maybe she'll copy that too. . . .
Gay violets and spring flowers add the colorful element to the
suit or woollen frock. . . . You will find spring at 713 Dunsmuir
Street . . . Phoebe's.
Tfta*?*""
1 •**  W my^-**
cSj,^ And Slopping*
'" "" A Bit With
Harry Mann
Oh you Sciencemen!—.We've found just the thing for these
Arts-Science fights. It's at Red Phoam's—and it's the ultra-smart
crawl-down shirt-tail. It's guaranteed to keep crawling. And for
the Artsmen there arc the crawl-up trousers. Which reminds us of
Sophomore Sam, the Artsman, who was feeling very low, so he began
to crawl down the gutter—trying to get as low as he felt—lower
than anybody else—only he forgot it was the day after the Science
ball, and he couldn't get very low because the gutter was full of
Sciencemen just crawling up.
CO-EDS! Have you been asked to the Science Ball? If not don't
you think it's because you lack that certain something? And that
something is down at Mrs. Paton's Store for Things. Being of a shy
and retiring nature, we couldn't mention just what it is, but just go
down this very afternoon and buy one, or perhaps one and a spare one,
and go straight home and sit beside the telephone.
fi fi fi
It is reported that a Second Year Artsman got so enthused with
an Alpha's Gam (s) at the hockey game last Friday night that he
crashed into the House of Dixon afterwards, dolled up in a fur coat
and bakuksha, This report has been checked and re-checked. We
didn't think a Second Year Artsman had it in him.
J65 fi fi
Red Phoam's this week arc   featuring   the   famous   Tarzan.Chest
Wigs.     We  expect  all  Artsmen   to   be   interested.     The  new   upswept
style is  recommended  for those who favor zippr-fastened  vests.
And let this be a warning to the rest of you kids:
Fraternity  Fred  and  Sorority  Sue
Gurgled so many they didn't know what to do.
When  Sue  saw   how   pickled   was   poor  little   Fred
"Come out in the car and get sober," she said.
He didn't, wc guess, for he cut quite a caper
When they  announced his engagement
Next day in the paper.
fi fi fi
This is no rumor. Dora Dec's Dress Shop is featuring the following:* Pink-edged and lace-tipped nighties for freshmen, silk-lined
comfort-padded pyjamas for upper classmen, and the very latest sclf-
scr.itcliiiii-  red  flannels  for Sciencemen.
HARRY  MANN
Just,   about,   all   you   could   ask
ARISTOCRATIC
HAMBURGERS
Limited
10th  and   Alma
take;   so m e   home
II.   JESSIE   HOW,   B.A.
Public,  Stenographer
44B1  West lotli Ave.
E_-ny_ ami Tiieaes Typed
Alow Offered
III the familiar pouch or new
elide packages. A tastier, milder
cigarette made from much
better, tobaccos. Try them.
Buckingham
CIGARETTES ^
Letters to the
Editor
Hour Madam Editor:
The time has come when I must
ask you a question concerning a
question concerning a thing the contemplation of which has caused me
many sleepless night, with corresponding  days  of  anxiety.
This is the subject about which I
hesitate to speak to you until I am
positive of how I feel. Many happy
times have been broken up from this
same cause and yet I must know the
worst. I dare not oven communicate
my state of mind to my father of
whom I think a great deal; for he is
old-fashioned about these things and
I know there would be only one thing
he would advise me to do.
This will undoubtedly surprise you
very much, although I try to think
otherwise, but I feel you know me
better than any one else. I know I
am asking a great favour and while
you are considering this, I beg you
to put aside all sorts of Joys and for
a time devote all your consideration
to my question. I hate to ask you
this, but do you think it is time for
me to put my winter underwear on?
A worried Artsman.
ED. NOTE!—I have changed mine, . .
SCIENCE ?
FROSH ?
AGGIE?
Whichever ball you are going' to thia week, your
"date" will be happier —
and so will you—if yotr present a tasteful corsage from
Brown Bros. It will cost
less than you think.
Oall in or—
PLOWERFONE Sey. 1484
Joe Brown (Arts '33)
Mgr.
665 OranvUle St.
Dear Sir:—I feel duty bound to
bring to your attention a deplorable
state of social disintegration existing
under our very eyep on the University Oampus. My Information is from
a most reliable source having been
overheard on the streetcars on several
occasions.
By far the greatest evil stalking
our campus and threatening the very
fibres of our religious existence ls the
"Calf." This is all very confusing ln
my mind but no doubt ls a throwback to the Oolden Calf of Baal.
Connected with this mysticism Is a
place of worship where the devotees
of this strange cult are wont to
gather at all hours to perform their
strange j-ites. These are strongly
tinged with Epicureanism and entail
a mysterious function of "Cocallz-
lng."
Another disrupting Influence Is the
formation of a hide-bound caste system outdoing even India. At the top
of this' caste system enthroned in a
sanctified aura all their own are the
Sclencemen. Par down the scale from
these are a quiet domesticated type,
the Aggies. At the very foot of the
ladder, and ranging slightly lower
than the animal life, comes a lowly
type, the Artsmen or untouchables.
Their existence ls brightened only by
the condescending glances of the Upper Strata. Still a fourth caste consists of the "Profs". Where they fit
ln ls difficult to ascertain but for the
most part they seem to have little or
no following.
Still another derogatory effect on
today's civilization is the unchecked
terrorism on the campus. A partially
successful attempt to bomb one of
the buildings and burn *lt to the
ground   has gone   unpunished.
In bringing these matters to your
attention I feel I am but doing my
duty as a law-abiding citizen, and
perhaps saving the youth of tomorrow from an awful fate. We must act
now to stamp out these evils.
Yours sincerely,
ALARMED TAXPAYER.
Dear   Editor:—I   have   a   daughter,
Mary, going  to the Science Ball,  her
first   formal.   I   have   never   met   the
young  man.  What  do you  advise?
MOTHER OF EIGHT.
Dear Eight Time Loser:—I regret
to say that I'm no Neville but I may
be able to assist you in your moment
of anguish. Rest assured, madam,
that your daughter is in capable
hands—and I  do mean hands.
Although the general opinion is
that a Scienceman is a direct, throw-
hack of the Cro-Magnon, this is
merely hearsay, as lie is the gentleman  of   the  campus.
Tho   best   way   tor   us   to   take   care
POEMS . . .
and STUFF
CompUed by LEWIS ROBINSON
Valentine's day la the one day a
fellow can put lt In writing without
being sued.
*      *      •
THE   SHOOTING  OF   DANGEROUS
DAN   MoCUPID
They kicked him out of paradise,
And he came down to earth.
And now he wrecks all peace of mind
And shoots for all he's worth.
Dan Cupid ls a snivelling brat,
And so Instead of lauded,
He should be placed across the knee
And heartily applauded.
And so If hit by Cupid's dart,
Or in the demon's power,
Just   hold  your   breath,   turn   on  the
tap,
And take a good cold shower.
+      *      *
MY  VALENTINE
A single flower he sent me, since we
met,
All     tenderly     his    messenger    he
chose;
Deep-hearted, pure, with scented dew
still wet:
One perfect rose.
I knew the language of the floweret;
"My   fragile   leaves,"   it  said,   "her
heart enclose."
Love  long  has taken for Its amulet:
One perfect rose.
of the case is for us to consult our
pocket edition of Emi'y Post laid
bare by Sally Rand.
However, if you have no Emily
Post, may we give the following suggestions :
1. Do not expect Mary home ln
time for  her  11.30 lecture.
2. Do not Invite Johnny Science-
man inside after tlie dance—or alternatively empty the refrigerator and
defrost. YE   EDITOR.
R. H. Mailow, society photographer, for tine portraits, phone Trin.
2157.
The    Hotel    Vancouver
presents
MART KENNY
at   the   Spanish   (.rill
New
Spring Samples
of Distinctive
TIP TOP CLOTHING
nt
Esquire Men's
Apparel
2(n>i <;i-anviii(-
l-u.v.   IIIWO SENIOR BASKETBALL
VARSITY vs. ADANAOS
WEDNESDAY NIGHT
VARSITY QYM
JPQkT
BASKETBALL PINAL
FROSH vs. SHORES
Y.W.CA.—TONIGHT, 8 p.m.
CITY   CHAMPIONSHIP
Four
THE    UBYSSEY      •
Tuesday, February 14, 1939
Desperate 'Bird Hoopsters On Brink
MURAL
MUSINGS
By AUSTIN FRITH
Well.'folks, it's Just about time you
got the low-down on the big doings
in Maury's office every Monday noon,
the organization headquarters of the
intramural program.
When does lt start? Well, that's up
to Maury. The class reps are scattered around the room—lie on the
tables, sit ln the corners or Just lean
on the walls and yawn.
Suddenly Maury is on the alert. He
sits up rigidly ln his chair, extends
his left arm . . . It is the zero hour.
The Chief grabs his lunch off the
shelf.
Instinctively the boys know what ls
up: the session is on.
SO WHAT?
."Well, there are no two ways about
it," Mr. Van Vllet firmly announoes.
"That rugby schedule starts off Tuesday noon, - and It will go rain or
shine I!° . . . unless the ground
-freezes I"
There  ls a low  walling  noise  In
the   distance;   It   gets   louder   and
shriller;   a   hurricane   maybe.   The
office    door   files   open    and   ln   It
comes.   .  .  .   Nope,   it's   Ward   de
Beck,   plodding   theolog.   rep.,   who
makes  a  dive  for the  empty desk
space,    kneels   on    the   floor,    and
briskly  writes  down   the  news  for
his fellow classmen.
Maury is unperturbed ... he calmly taps a hard boiled egg on his arm
chair, and continues with  the rugby
news.   Behold,   before   you   stop   for
breath,  the egg ls shelled.
"The flrst game Is between Arts '39
and Aggies. Every class that fields a
full team will get ten points and the
winning squad will chalk up twenty
. . . gulp. . . . About fifty points will
go to the champs, who will be named
in two weeks!"
TIDBITS.
Doug Taylor was snoring In the
corner, but was up with a leap when
he learned that he had to field a
team of 15 Aggies for the flrst game.
"Wednesday Anglicans will meet
Science '40," continued Maury. But
he never finished the sentence.
'Hurricane' De Beck was off ln a
flurry of papers, determined ta round
up his flock of meek little theologs
for  Wednesday's  battle.
"On Thursday Arts '42 play Science
'42 and. . . ." That's as far as Maury
got
The genial David Ritchie was all
for his Arts '41 class, and wanted to
know whether the Frosh could use
their regular league men. But lt seems
the super-frosh rugby team can use
but five of their stars, and those registered In Arts '41, must play for
"David's   Duds."
By    this    time    Maury    had    completely   devoured    his    hen's    fruit,   a
sure sign that the climax had passed.
"In the basketball, Science '42 plays
Science  '39,  and   .  .   ."
"Yeah," interrupted a tall science
rep., "what about this science brawl
on    Thursday?    Friday    noon    our
boys will need a siesta after the big
night."
Maury   downed   his   last   quart   of
milk   and   everybody   knew  the  meeting   was   adjourned   automatically.
LAST PERIOD RALLY FAILS
AS MAURYMEN LOSE 42-37
.IIIIHIIII-HIMHIIIIHHHM'IMtllHIHtM-m'
itM'IMMMMHIHM
By   BASIL  ROBINSON
With tho slimmest ninthcmntic-nl chance of milking tho playoff's, Vnrsity Thunderbirds hnve beon sitting with crossed fingers
since   Saturday   after   dropping   their   crucial   league   game   with
Tookes by a 42-37 margin at theV.A.C. Gym.
Contrary to general opinion, the collegians still  have  a chance  to make
the playoffs If Munros lose their two
remaining games with Westerns and
Tookes.   The    Maurymen    have   tiffs
with    Westerns    and    Adanacs    outstanding,   and   the   due   of   victories
would bring them level with Munros
and necessitate a playoff for possession of third place.
Varsity flashed their best form ln
weeks during the flrst two periods of
the Saturday night engagement with
Tookes. Keeping ln front by virtue
of an ability to capitalize on the
breaks, and to stall off the Tookes'
offensive wtth a newly-fashioned
zone defense, the Collegians -were
ahead 19-10 at the breather.
OFFSIDE
The third quarter spelled defeat
fdr Van Vliet's proteges as Osborne
and Purves combined to sink 12
points without reply. For 10 minutes
the Blue and Qold team could do
nothing right, and during this time
saw their lead vanish and suddenly
become a 10 point deficit.
Even the rebound-snagging efforts
of Don Livingstone and the brilliant
shooting of Brud Matheson failed to
plug up the gap between hte teams
as Tookes stalled on every possible
occasion.
Matheson ended up the evening as
top scorer for the students with 10
points and continued the dizzy pace
he has been hitting In recent games.
WIN   WON!
In a warm-up game on the campus
Friday afternoon, Thunderbirds defeated the late-arriving Seattle College quintette 40-36. In winning this
exhibition tilt. Maury Van Vliet's
ball-bouncers snapped a long streak
of losses und gave supporters hope
for  the  Saturday  game.
The smart-looking Seattle outfit
were behind all through as the collegians flashed an efficient defense
and Improved shooting ability. Brud
Matheson, hitting bis best -lip, led
the Varsity snipers with 15 points
almost all on long shots.
Rann Matthlaon was not ln uniform for the collegians and took
Maury Van Vliet's place on the
master-minding  bench.
FORECASTS
By   RONNIE   REN8HAW
CO-ED SPORTS
By MYRNE NEVISON
iMttlllllllltllllllllllllllllHHMIimitlllllllllllHHIIIHIHMIIIIIH,
Even the chllllwaek high school
girls proved top much for our Senior
B basketballers (reinforced by three
senior A players) and took the students 3Q-10 at the campus gym last
Friday night.       ,
The valley lasses stepped from cars
after a sixty-five mile drive through
the snow onto a floor twice «S large
as they are used to, and with but
two spares as opposed to the seven
co-ed substitutes, proceeded to overwhelm our girls on their home floor.
Quarter time score was a mere ^4-0
for   the  visitors.
Then Adie Collins, senior A player,
was injected Into the fray and by
scoring 10 points managed to keep
the students from complete disaster.
Mona Asselstone, another senior A'er,
tallied 4 points and Grace Cuthbert,
with 2 markers, was the lone member of the B team to break Into the
scoring column at all.
MORE MASTER MINDING
The Moore-Maury combination of
mixed teams for intramurals seems
to be clicking. In the flrst official
day of play Aits '40 swamped their
Aggie opponents ln volleyball by an
overwhelming but so far unknown
margin.
FEMININE  SHINNY  STARS
With the U.B.C. hockey girls headed struight for the finals of the
Lower Mainland League wo would
like to present the team. This eleven,
rated .as the best ever to represent
the university is coached by Mr.
White, well-known for his ability at
the game. This Is the first year the
girls have had a coach and they are
certainly going to town under hia
tutoring.
The student's forward line, let
loose on unsuspecting defenses,
proves practically Invincible because
of their fast, quick-passing attacks
that leave the opposing backs far
behind. When they finally loarn to
shoot, the co-eds should never lose
another game. Wing Sheila Wilson
and Oerry Armstrong are the spear-
NOTICE
Beginners may receive welghtllft-
Ing instruction at the Staclium evei-y
Monday and Wednesday from 12 to
1:30. You are advised to Etttend If
possible.
The team to win the English Rugby Series. The classy bunch of miners find geologists from Sc. '10. The
only unbeaten, unscored-on team in
the league,  defeated  Sc.  '42  by 3-0.
The championship basketball team.
Sc. '42. This bunch of Red Shirts
are expected to take Sc. '39 on Wednesday, Feb. 15, and finally to defeat
Arts '39 for the championship. Go to
it boys. Salute to Bill Sharpe,, Sc. '42
who placed first in the Downhill race
at Mount Rainer Sunday. Also to
Mickey Pogue Forestry (40) for
placing so well in the open slalom
at  Revelstoke.
U. B. G. SKIERS DOWN
G. P. S. ON WEEK-END
FROSH BASKETBALLERS
MEET SHORES FOR
CITY CHAMPIONSHIP
The Frosh Inter. A. once agtUn
proved their superiority as cagers
last Friday night in the campus gym
by    trouncing    a    classy    Chllllwaek
BULLDOGS IN
2-0 VICTORY
OVER 'BIRDS
U.B.C. pucksters received their second setback at the hands of the
powerful Gonzagu quintette, on Friday night at the Forum, but the 2-0
score eked out by the be-decked
American entry was a far cry from
the 10-3 pasting administered to the
Blue and Gold on the last meeting of
the two clubs.
For one period the Bulldogs completely dominated the play with their
long rink-wlde passes working to
perfection and a bomb-proof defence wrecking tho best efforts of
the local boys. Both epemy counters
weie registered in the initial'period
as a result of their smooth combination, aided to a certain degree by
poor defensive work on Varsity's
part.
The second period saw a much
different scene however as the Thunderbirds began to swoop hither and
yon over the polished surface, bewildering their faster and heavier
opponents by close checking and
never say die methods. Only on rare
occasions were the Gonzagans at all
dangerous and their breaks -were
easily handled by either the Varsity
defense or spectacular saves by goal-
er Ed Benson.
At the other end, McCool was turning aside the best efforts of the
smoothly working 'Bird forwards,
particularly the Gulguets, Gill, Frith,
and MacArthur. Varsity missed the
services of center Orme Dier and
Angle Frovenzano although both Jim
Ussher and Maurice Lambert turned
in fine porformances in relief roles.
The last canto was a repetition of
the second with the U.B.C. squad
holding the puck In the opposition's
territory most of tho tlmo, but lack
of finish and superb netmindlng held
held   the   'Birds   from   scoring.
A few breaks for the local lads
might easily have seen the final outcome reversed on the tally sheet although there was no doubt that the
Spokane team boasts a better-balanced  squad.
Varsity's next opposition will be
the Diimonl aggregation when tho
two teams tangle in playoff encounters, probably starting in New Westminster  Tuesday  night.
i?¥%%m 0^wn y*afr+ vniteect
,W*LU_ICH
Slll^
lllr*?*,,      • |
TH_ BEST  CHOCOLATE  tfA0E
cm
offside
ormt dier
heads of tho students' attack and
take the ball down the field easily
passing their checks on almost every
offensive. Then when they centre
the ball our hard-shooting centre
players, Anne Canter and Faye Burnham and A. N. Orner generally deliver tho goods ln the upproved style.
Ably backing up the forwards are
Elizabeth Nolle, left half, Pauline
Scott In the key spot, centre half,
and Ora Wright. Thoy are no easy
obstacles to pass as their own forwards well know from practice—and
Aggregation  to  the  tune  of  42  to  26. j other forwards know from bitter ex-
THE  VARSITY  CHRISTIAN  UNION
Tho annual Chinese Supper will be
held this year at the Mandarin Oar-
dens, corner of Columbia and Pender, on Tuesday, February 14. at 6,30
p.m.
The speaker will be Rev. Robert
H. Glover. M.D,. Home Secretary in
North America for the China Inlnncl
Mission, Dr, Glover and Mr. Schoer-
ner have just returned  from China.
On Tuesday at 12.45 p.m., in Arts
200. Mr. Otto F. Schoerner will address nn Open Meeting. He is an
explorer and missionary from the
Chinese   Turkestan.
Everybody   welcome.
Varsity's crack skiers travelled to
the. snowy wastes of Mount Ranier
were they met and conquered a flashy
Puget Sound squad 302-278. The Blue
and Gold captured all points in the
downhill event over a tricky throe-
mlle course as Bill Sharpe, Phil
Thomas, Oerry Harkley and Cliff
Ware crossed the finish line In that
order.
In the slalom event Bob Kemp, star
Puget Sound man, flashed to a thrilling win over Varsity's own pick of
the crop and also toted home winning- points in the Cross Country
race, nosing out Al Fraser, husky
Scienceman,  by   a  mere   five seconds.
The janitor is disgusted! There
are far too many boy's gym baskets
still In the crowded tsore room.
These must be cheeked out Immediately,   so   don't   forget!
The Frosh uncovered the new pet
four-man box defense of Coach "By"
Straight and this proved the deciding factor in piling up a commanding lead of 23 to 7 at the half marker.
This, combined with the fine showing made by the second stringers
who successfully held this lead ln
the second canto, was sufficient to
delight the heart of any Coach.
Coach "By" was highly elated with
the teams' progress and shovdd they
remain at this peak, sees reason
enough to win the City championship from Shores.
To-night at. Y.W.CA. gym they
tackle Shores in tho flrst game of
a best-of-flve series for the League
and City championship. As the Frosh
are the only winning team of cagers
remaining o.i the campus, they
should have the whole-hearted support of everyone. Remember the
time,  to-night at 8:00;  and  the  place,
perlence.
But it is the fullback line that the
real headaches are ln store for the
opposing players. Here Betty Cole
and Hortense Warne combine to
make the outstanding defense due of
the league. Marjorie Lean, expert
net-tender completes the team. These
girls represent the main hope of tho
co-eds for athletic laurels this year.
We predict they'll take the Lower
Mainland and Inter-city cups.
BASKETBALL
"Hello Maw! It waa a great flght, but we lost,"
And that Alphonse, If you would be good enough to^dlsregard the static
caused by a scienceman trying to work a typewriter with a slide-rule, ls
the chorus of Maury Van Vliet's gallant little short-trousered laddies of
the basketball floor calling their Alma Mater after the game on Saturday
night.
The men who follow the bouncing ball for the honor and glory (or
should we say onus and worry?) of the blue and gold were not just pulling
a man-in-the-street gag either, because they put up a valiant struggle
against   overwhelming  odds   and   are   still   in   the   running   for  the   play-offs.
But fate in the guise of too many baskets for the opposition was against
the striving students, and now they are  nearly finished a long and arduous
campaign on the maple court.
YEA TEAH!
And If you continue to talk that way about the boys, Al ole sock, I
will be forced to Inform you that they have shown no cause for the criticism
they have been subjected to the last couple of weeks. Not only did they have
one of the toughest schedules In history, but old man Ineligibility and his
partner  Crockery  kicked  the   team  around  a  bit.
It was bad enough losing Ted Pallas and Doug. Gross by the way of
all students, but when Alex Lucas was laid up for two weeks It was enough
to break the spirit of any team. But if you saw the Varsity flght In the
last quarter of that game Saturday, you are no doubt wondering why we
are trying to vindicate a team that never says quit, and needs vindication
in the eyes of only a few droops around the campus such as our man
Alphonse.
QUESTION
We  would   like   to   know   though   (1)   why   Harvey   Rees   ls   not   playing
Senior A and  (2) why basketball players know more about running a sport
page   than   an   editor   does,   We   thought   that   would   keep   you   quiet   for   a
while  Alphonse.
HOCKEY  HEROES
Now if no one is looking we would like to hand our hockey team (yes
we have one, and a darn good one) a little bouquot. It takes plenty of
fight and courage to go out against a picked bunch of all-stars that outweigh you, outskate you and out-practlce you; to tackle a bunch of semi-
pros that are playing for their jobs (or athletic scholarships if yon wish
to be precise) and to hold them to a 2-0 win that la, as they say about the
Spanish War, no Indication of the play.
ORRRR!
Anyway,   nice  goin'  gang and   let's  take those  Cubs.
And just In case somebody gets the Idea that we are becoming a lover
of mankind with all these drooling eulogies, we wish to state that we don't
like the lack of student support at Varsity games, the way the rugby
coaching is handled, the weather, sclencemen, professors, Mary Ann, Chang
Fooey. lack  of interest in  intramurals,  and  typewriters.
Y.W.CA.   gym.
Teams  and  scores:
Chllllwuck: Henderson 12, Edmunds 4, MoFarlane 3, R. Ballam 5,
Taylor   2,    Ferguson   0.   Ballam—26.
Varsity- Elefthory 13, Stewart 8,
Roes 8. Ryan 4, Rodden 3, Young 2,
Rousaell 2. Physlck 2, James, Town-
send— 42.
—R.B.
Speed...
Seymour 4484
Quality...
Service...
MITCHELL PRINTING and
PUBLISHING   OO.  LTD,
1037    WEST    FENDER    STREET
—       TRANSLATIONS
We can supply any English Translation!* published for nil languages. Send for our free catalogue, listing helps, outlines, and
translations  for all  courses.
THE BOOK EXCHANGE
"Canada's   Boot-Clearing"   House"
370   Bloor   St.   W.,   Toronto,   Ontnrio
HOW'S YOUR
GOLF GAME?
To      ho      lu-eumto      you
must   loarn   the   Fundamentals      of      tho     Oolf .*'
Swing.   Tho  winter  Heu-        jf**^
son   Is  tho  time  to  Iron      tt
out   your ditlloiiltles and      w
li-aru
('olf.
how      to      enjoy
Hal Rhodes Golf School
1155 W. Pender Street        Seymour 523.1

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