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The Ubyssey Dec 2, 1920

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 Issued Weekly by the Publications Board of the University of British Columbia
Volume III.
VANCOUVER, B. C, DECEMBER 2, 1920
Number 8
Christmas Plays
Reveal Talent
EXCELLENT   PROMISE  FOR  THE
SPRING   PRESENTATION
A SCIENCE CONCEPTION
The University has cause to be grateful that the course of training which the
members of the Players Club have laid
down for themselves calls for so delightful an event as the presentation of the
Christmas Plays. As a result of the three
performances in the auditorium last
week, the Players' Club has discovered
among its new members two or three
amateur artists of first-class ability, and
a considerable number whose acting
shows only slightly less promise. Incidentally, a large number of people spent
an enjoyable evening," and interest in the
one-act play was awakened among University folk. To mention all those whose
work was commendable would be but to
reproduce the entire cast of the plays;
but it may not be invidious to suggest
that Miss Muriel Evans (Maude, in "The
Florist Shop") and-Mr. J. O. C. Kirby
(the druggist in "The Second Lie") sustained their roles with remarkable success. We suspect that henceforth freshettes, when they meet Mr. Kirby in the
halls, will with difficulty repress a shudder, and as for Miss Evans and the freshmen—well, time will tell.
Interest    centered    principally    on    the
third  play.     The  audience,  all   of  whom
knew   Mrs.   McKay   as   a   novelist,   and
many  of  them  personally,   were  anxious
to  witness   the   production    of    her    first
drama.    Here, too, the highest collective
standard of acting was maintained.   "The
Second Lie" is a forceful and interesting
play.    Perhaps it is also slightly puzzling,
though it is not quite clear whether it is
intentionally so.    The plot is  subtle, and
keeps   the   audience   intensely  interested
until  the  last  moment.     It  relies   for  its
interpretation less on the spoken parts of
the actors  than  in  the  movement  of the
play,  and  thus  requires  a  high  order  of
histrionic ability on the part of both the
morbidly   jealous   husband,    who   is   the
leading   character   (Mr.   Kirby),   and   of
his wife (Miss Isobel Elliott).    The sudden  contrast  of   tragedy  and   comedy   is
exceptionally  daring,  and  especially  dangerous before a student audience, always
reluctant to appreciate tragedy when presented by its class-mates.
(Continued on Page 7)
'Varsity Eleven
Again Victorious
DEFEAT RAILWAYMEN IN 2-0
FAST GAME
THINGS WE WOULD LIKE TO
KNOW
Who was the "guy' in Arts '24, at
Lester's, Saturday night, who, when he
had no dances engaged, went upstairs
and worked problems in Physics I.?
How much the Christmas exams, will
affect the unemployment problem in
Vancouver?
What is Keith's favorite pastime next
to  studying?
How long it took Dr. Hebb to see the
point in Prof. Killam's story about the
"long, slim lady"?
If the Arts bunch don't think this is a
better issue of the "Ubyssey" than theirs?
What is  it that attracts  Science '24 to
the    Royal   Theatre   every   week?     Ask
Gale.
Wrhy is it handy to take an automobile
to a Science smoker?    Ask Lusby.
Where Keith will have his den when
we move to  Point Grey?
How that Eastern Varsity is getting
along without Doc. Buchanan?
If Doc. Killam located that long, thin
lady yet?
If Jimmy L  and Rhony K  are
still giving away fifty dollar cheques.
When the Science Common Room will
be  ready.
'Varsity moved up two points in her
league standing when, on Saturday, she
defeated the fast-travelling B.C.E.R.
team by two goals to nil. The game, as
scheduled, was to have been played on
the False Creek flats; but, as these
grounds are unfit for use, Hastings Park
was substituted. This field was somewhat slippery, but in spite of this both
teams put up a fast game, and some nice
playing was seen on both sides.
About half way through the first half,
Cameron, our speedy outside right, sent
in a hot shot, which their goalie cleared;
but "Jock" Lundie was right on the spot,
and had no difficulty in placing the ball
between the posts. 'Varsity continued
pressing during the remainder of this
half, but no further score resulted.
In the second half the B.C.E.R. gave
us a scare for a few minutes; but soon
our boys got going, and McLeod contributed our second on a hot shot which
their goalkeeper had no chance to save.
This ended the scoring for the game.
Our line-up was somewhat changed
last week, Crute, Jackson and Markle all
being out of the game. However, our
boys put up an excellent brand of soccer,
H. Cant and Reid, two of the substitutes,
contributing their share in the victory.
Wolverton, on defence, was, as usual, always "there"; and G. Cant, at his new
position, centre-half, was invaluable to
the team. Our forward line also played
exceptionally well, keeping the ball going
and not bunching up. Also they had
their shooting legs working well, and
kicked at that goal like fiends. Our right
wing was particularly effective in carrying the bait into the enemy territory.
As usual, our supporters were sadly
lacking. All the other teams have their
rooters on the side-lines. What's the
matter with 'Varsity? Show a little life.
We have a soccer team that we can well
be proud of; but they, like other teams,
need assistance from the side-lines.
The line-up: Henderson, Wolverton,
Mack, Reid, G. Cant, Mitchell, Cameron,
H.  Cant,  McLeod,  Lundie,  Rushbury.
WE'VE   GOT   TO   BEAT   STANFORD! THE   UBYSSEY
December 2, 1920
Clothes with
a "Rep"
for Style
and Pep
There's a certain unusual Class
in Semi-ready clothing that appeals
to the young men who strive for an
ultra-smart appearance.
THOMAS
& McBAIN
LIMITED
655 GRANVILLE ST.
The Palm Garden
Corner Tenth Ave. and Heather St.
Has changed hands. The new proprietors, Elder and Buttle, will be
pleased to welcome the students—old
customers and new ones.
CANDY AND TOBACCO
LUNCHES, TEAS, ICE CREAM
FINE FOOTWEAR
JsTBeu.
Discriminating   citizens   of   Vancouver
buy  their  Footwear at
CLUFF'S
649 HASTINGS STREET, W.
"The Home of Good Shoes"
THE ENGINEER
Who   is   the   man   who   views   the   mines
and promptly turns them down?
Who  is   the  one  that   thinks  this   is  the
short-cut to renown?
Who  is  it  gives  the  bum  advice  to  the
innocent  financier?
The knowledge-feigning,  theory-straining
mining engineer.
Who is the man designs our pumps with
judgment, skill and care?
Who is the man that builds 'em and who
keeps them in repair?
Who has to shut them down because the
valve seats disappear?
The    bearing - wearing,     gearing - tearing
mechanical engineer.
Who buys his juice for half a cent and
wants  to  charge  a  dime?
Who, when we've signed the contract,
can't deliver half the time?
Who thinks a loss of twenty-six per cent,
is nothing queer?
The volt-inducing, load-reducing electrical engineer.
Who  is  it  takes  a  transit  out  to  find  a
sewer to tap?
Who then with care extreme locates the
junction on the map?
Who is it goes to dig it up and finds it
nowhere near?
The    mud-bespattered,    torn-and-tattered
civil engineer.
Who thinks without his products we
would all be in the lurch?
Who has a heathen idol which he designates research?
Who tints the cheeks, perfumes the air
and makes the landscape drear?
The stink-evolving, gas-dissolving chemical engineer.
Who is the man who'll draw a plan for
everything you desire,
From a transatlantic liner to a hair-pin
made  of wire?
With "ifs" and "ands,' "howe'ers" and
"buts," who makes his meaning
clear?
The work-disdaining, fee-retaining consulting engineer.
Who   builds  a  road   for   fifty  years   that
disappears in two?
Who changes his identity so no one's left
to sue?
Who covers all the travelled roads with
filthy,  oily  smear?
The      pump-providing,      rough-on-riding
highway   engineer.
Who takes the pleasure out of life and
makes  existence  hell?
Who'll fire a real good-looking one because  she   cannot  spell?
Who substitutes a dictaphone for coral-
tinted ear
The penny-chasing, dollar-wasting efficiency  engineer.
—From Boston  Engineering Society.
McLean—When  was  tennis  first  mentioned in the Bible?
Munro—I  don't know.
McLean—When     Joseph      served     in
Pharoah's court.
IRELAND    &    ALLAN
BOOKSELLERS AND
STATIONERS
Depot for
FOUNTAIN  PENS
and
LOOSE-LEAF   NOTE   BOOKS
Phone,   Seymour  602
649 GRANVILLE STREET
WHY GO TO
CHINATOWN?
WE   ARE   NOW   SERVING
CHINESE   DISHES   UPSTAIRS
6 to 3 A.M.
DELMONICO CAFE
704 ROBSON STREET
Phone,  Fairmont 722
THE REX CAFE
TEA ROOM BAKERY   ICE CREAM
Confectionery Tobacco and Cigars
692  BROADWAY,  WEST
Follow the Crowd
— TO —
Ben Petch
LIMITED
898 Granville Street
— FOR —
BARGAINS IN
HATS
Stetsons, values to $11.00;
Sale Price  $7.00
NO  TAX
Cor. Sniythe and Granville December 2, 1920
THE   UBYSSEY
TWO BASKETBALL VICTORIES
In the opening games of the season
'Varsity I. won from the' "Y" Ponies by
a score of 27-21. The game was fast and
furious from start to finish. In the first
half the Ponies had a little the best of
the play, coming out ahead 13-9. In the
second half 'Varsity began to settle
down, and, by the hard checking of the
guards and good passing, were able to
overcome the Ponies lead, and some
pretty shooting by Fisher and Johnny
McLeod brought the score up to 27.
Line-up: McLeod, L. Fisher, C. Mathers, K. Carlisle, G. Raley.
In the intermediate game 'Varsity completely outclassed their opponents, the
Seaforth Cadets, winning by a score of
84-3. After the first two minutes it was
evident that the game was going to be
but a shooting practice for 'Varsity, of
which they took full advantage.
Line-up: M. W. McLean and Bickell,
Johnson, Elliott and McPherson.
In the inter-class basketball games
Science '22 won from the Agric. by a
score of 18-15. Although Sc. '22 played
with only four men, they were able to
down the Aggies. Bob Anderson starred
for  Sc.  '22.
In the game between Sc. '24 and Arts
'24, the Science again won by a score of
32-20. Carlisle and Bickell starred for
Science, while Lewis and Greggor were
the shining lights for Arts.
This ends the league for this term.
A debate was held in the Women's
Lit., on November 24th, on the subject:
"Resolved that a universal language is
both possible and desirable." The negative was supported by Misses Murphy
and Bulmer, of Arts '23; the negative by
Misses Irene Stewart and Pearl Stewart,
of Arts '24. The judges, Dr. Todd, Prof.
Robertson and Mr. Henderson, awarded
the decision to the affirmative.
HARRY    CARTER
Bicycles and Accessories
General  Repairs
Cab,   Buggy  and  Invalid   Chairs
Re-tired
Charges  Moderate
Agent for
C.C.M.   "RAMBLER"  BICYCLES
632 Broadway, West
Phone,   Fairmont   1386
COME ON, REDS!
Radicals, socialists and near-socialists
gathered in Room 24 on Thursday last to
organize a Student Socialist Society in
the University of British Columbia.
There were all shades of opinion represented in those present, and the meeting
was a success from the very start. It
was decided that the function of the society should be purely educational, and
that the club would seek affiliation with
the Inter-Collegiate Socialist Society.
The following were elected: Honorary
president, Dr. Mack Eastman; president,
T. P. Peardon; vice-president, N. A.
Robertson; secretary-treasurer, C. D.
Smith. It was also decided that any
ladies interested in socialism would be
permitted to become members.
The first general meeting of the society was held on Monday, at noon, in
the Laurel Tennis Club-rooms, when
Mrs. Stuart Jamieson and Mr. J. S.
Woodsworth spoke of the aims of socialism and the work of the Federated Labor
Party. There was a large attendance of
students, and both addresses were listened to with eager attention.
OFF TO A GOOD Sf ART
The senior girls' basketball team defeated Crofton House on Saturday last.
The game was played in the pouring
rain, which prevented either team from
displaying its true form. The score was
kept down owing to the fact that the ball
was heavy and slippery. However, as this
is the first league match, a victory of 15-7
gives 'Varsity a good start. The second
league game will take place next Friday.
The team: E. Eveleigh, 11 points; B.
Pearce, 2 points; G. Weld, 2 points; M.
Gordon, D.  Gillespie.
PITMAN BUSINESS
COLLEGE
Established 1898
INDIVIDUAL     INSTRUCTION
Day and Evening Classes
422 Richards Street
Corner Hastings Street
Phone, Sey. 9135
FOOTBALL EQUIPMENT
Rugby and Soccer teams will And that this store has the largest and best assorted
stock of Football equipment in Western Canada.
Jerseys, in all color combinations, in pure wool and cotton, priced from $2.50 to
$10.00 each.
Footballs, for Soccer and Rugby, priced from $3.50 to $11.00 each.
Boots, $9.00 to $12.00 per pair.
Pants, $1.50 to $3.50 per pair.
Leg Guards, 75c to $3.25 per pair.
"Special Discounts to Clubs."
TISDALLS   LIMITED
The Complete Sporting Goods Store
618 HASTINGS STREET, WEST
Phone, Seymour 152
SEND DELEGATES EAST
The Student Y.M.C.A. and the S.tudent
Y.W.C.A. will be represented at the all-
Canadian conference at Guelph, Ontario,
which will be held during the coming
Christmas holidays. This decision has
been reached by the governing executives
of these organizations. The funds for
expenses of sending these delegates is
being raised by personal subscription
among the members and friends of each
of the associations.
The Guelph conference will be in session for four days. It is the outcome of
a generally expressed desire on the part
of many summer conferences to have a
Canadian Christian student organization.
For this purpose, it will organize the
Canadian Student Christian Movement.
Copies of the proposed constitution have
been received, and will be studied before
the delegates of these associations leave
for the  East.
DISCUSS EASTERN QUESTIONS
The Historical Club met at the residence of Miss Abernethy on Tuesday,
November 23rd, to hear two papers on
contemporary historical problems in the
Balkans and in the Near East. Miss
Willis recalled recent events which had
left a permanent impress on Balkan history, and concluded with a concise statement of the present condition of these
troublous parts. Mr. Peardon briefly explained the Near Eastern question, laying
especial emphasis on the opportunity for
intervention on the part of the League of
Nations.
Mr. G. W. B. Fraser was elected secretary, in the vacancy caused by the resignation of Mr. Willson Coates.
Special
Stuff
If any of the University men
want Sweaters or Coats or
Athletic Suits in a special color
scheme, they are invited to
come and talk the matter over.
Lisle Fraser
Sporting Goods Dealer
Cor. Robson and Granville Streets THE   UBYSSEY
December 2, 1920
MR. PURDY
TAKES CHARGE
Mr. Purdy has taken direct
personal charge of the Fountain  Department.
It is his purpose to improve
the service, and generally make
Purdy's a nicer place to go for
Tea or Sundaes.
purby's
Maker of Purdy's Chocolates
675       GRANVILLE       ST.
THE GREAT-WEST
LIFE ASSURANCE CO.
Head   Office,   Winnipeg,   Manitoba
Result of a 20-year endowment
which   matured   October   1st,   1920.
Name, Gilbert Inkster, Lady-
smith. Premium, $102.30. Amount,
$2,000.
In 20 years he paid $2,004.60.
The cash value of his policy was
$3,070, being the face of the policy
$2,000 and a dividend of $1,070.
640 HASTINGS STREET, WEST
Vancouver Branch  Office
SEE   OUR  SELECTION  OF
Private Greeting Cards
and   Christmas   Gifts
They   will   please   you
the Uancotwer Stationers Etd.
SOCIETY STATIONERS AND
PRINTERS
683 Granville St.    Phone, Sey. 5119
AVENUE THEATRE
Dec.  15,  16,  17,  IS.   Matinee  Saturday
COMOSTOCK & GEST
Present
a
EXPERIENCE"
The   One   Big   Dramatic   Sensation   of
This   Day   and   Generation
9 months in New York
7 months in Chicago
5 months in Boston
10 Big Scenes and Company of 40
Endorsed   unanimously  by   the  united
clergy   of   these   great   cities
(Member  Pacific  Inter-Collegiate  Press
Association)
Issued every Thursday by the Publications Board
of the University of British Columbia.
Extra  mural  subscriptions,  $2.00  per  session.
For advertising rates, apply Advertising Manager.
The preparation of this number of the
"Ubyssey,' with the exception of the
routine editorial work, is the contribution
of the members of the Science Men's
Undergraduate Society, under the direction of the following committee:
Mr. Syd. Anderson,
Mr. C. Mathers,
Mr. T. Guernsey.
AN OPPORTUNITY
As a student body, how do we regard
the coming events? They are the Rugby
game between Stanford and our University on Christmas Day and the Victoria
trip during the last week of our Christmas vacation. Of these events, the
Stanford game is one of the most important events to us, as a University, that
we have had the opportunity of engaging
in.
This is an opportunity which we do not
often get. Here we have a chance to
beat a team which is representative of
the State of California, a team which has
an enviable record as a Rugby team, and
which has just recently returned from
Europe, where .it participated in the
Olympic games. If we can defeat this
team when we meet it at'Brockton Point
on Christmas afternoon, we will have
done something which will do more for
our University than anything we have
ever done in the line of sport.
In order to do this, the whole student
body and the Vacuity must combine to
form a winning team. The players alone
cannot win; but if they go on the field
that afternoon feeling that behind them
in the grandstand is tne remainder of the
University, with one thought in mind,
the thought that we are here to beat this
team from the South, and if our moral
support counts for anytning we will beat
it,  they  can win.
We must develop, between now and
the time scheduled for the big game, an
effective and efficient rooters' organization. A campaign, with this as its objective, is now being conducted, and we
want to make it a success. Surely when
the members of the team can find, time
to turn out to practise four and five
nights each week for the next three
weeks, we can do our little bit towards
perfecting the support line. Watch for
the notice of the meeting of the whole
Alma Mater, and try to be present at
that meeting even if you are not going
to be in Vancouver for  Christmas.
Do our best in this, and the Victoria
■ trip will look after itself.
CO-OPERATION
Two undergraduate societies will now
have found out that editing a journal is
not all pleasure. The work surely becomes all the harder if one refuses to
make up in quantity a deficiency in
quality.      Some    of   the    adverse   critics
ought surely to hesitate in future in committing themselves to sweeping statements  concerning our paper.
A member of our Science Committee,
compiling material for this issue, approached me with this appeal: "Cannot
you write us something for our number?"
Like about one hundred and fifty others,
I attempted to turn it off on the other
fellow. However, I promised to think it
over.
With this on my mind, I grew reflective. I was forced to conclude that
few of us seem to be cut out for journalistic careers. True, we may be able to
compose light stuff, to wit, four submitted accounts of an undergraduate
dance—something which could be left to
a news reporter, as mere news and
nothing more. Beyond that, we seem
bereft of all ability to make a written
presentation of anything more lasting or
intellectual. Why should we find ourselves in such a position—unable to use
our language? It is, more than anything,
a lack of practice. Undoubtedly, writing
is one of the best ways of influencing
our fellow-men. Why should it not be
cultivated?
We are flooded with societies for promotion of student activities, necessary
and otherwise. We cannot all belong to
half as many as we would like. We
have as yet given very little organized
effort to literary development. One way
in which we can all get together is
through our  University paper.
In several articles I have read lately, I
have met these words, "The Line of
Least Resistance" — a very easy line to
follow. It seems to have been our
method of dealing with our paper. Criticism and asceticism are ways of following this "line." We have shoved the
work on to the editor's shoulders, and
grumbled if we were not fed with silver
spoons.
I would suggest that each main department of our activities be assigned a
section of the "Ubyssey," even though
limited in extent, and be expected to fill
it with something of common interest
from its own work. In this age of specialists, we are in danger of too narrow
a specialization. Let us try and get the
other fellow's viewpoint, and, besides
this, a more general knowledge will
broaden our vision. We might discuss
public questions in their bearing on University life, and vice versa. An intelligent question bureau might be established.
We are all fond of a good time, but let
us also take time to be serious.
W. E. G., Sc. '23.
The next issue of the "Ubyssey" will
be the last before Christmas. It will
contain the Literary Supplement, which
has been referred to before.
B-k A-d-n (in draughting class)—Are
we supposed to hatch these chicken
houses?
Lusby—I have a goat with no nose.
Clegg—Goodness!  how does  he  smell?
Lusby—Oh, fine.   We gave him a bath
yesterday. December 2, 1920
THE   UBYSSEY
©
or\at
orre8pot\deT\ce
Editor  "Ubyssey."
Dear Sir:—In view of the circumstances
attending the production of the present
issue, is it not a suitable occasion to ask
ourselves this question: "At the moment
are we using, to the fullest extent in our
present-day problems of higher education,
the many recent advances in the fields of
scientific   research   and   invention?"
for example: A pressing question before
us at this time is that of review. What
could be more helpful than a series of
gramaphone , records (obtainable, complete
with records, from the library) covering the
lectures of the term; or a set of cinematograph films dealing with such subjects as
Trigonometry, Mechanics, or Electricity?
Such provision would give to many the
priceless opportunity of studying once again,
within the quietness of the home, or furnished room, the production and development of  many  valuable formulae.
There might also be obtainable from the
same source boxes of stereoscopic photographs illustrating the construction required
for the correct solution of all the problems
in Armstrong's "Descriptive Geometry," together with certain selected questions from
past examination papers, covering in particular those  of  the  last  final.
Furthermore, might it not be helpful to
the professors if each were supplied with an
aeroplane (and, where necessary, instructions for use"), that they might better follow
the flights and heights of which the student
mind is capable, during the months of April
and  December?
That such innovations would be productive of others is inevitable, and presiding
examiners might find themselves faced .with
the problem of discovering the illicit users
of miniature wireless sets, or the detection
of some ingenious youth who. through a
snir'tualistic medium, was involving the aid
of Sir Isaac Newton to the better solution
of his  problems  in  Mechanics.
Doubtless, however, some sort of ballistic
galvanometer could be developed for the detection of such offenders. E. M. F.
THE DESERT
Editor "Ubyssey."
Dear Sir:—Is Science discriminated
against? Are the mountains of B. C. to be
levelled and made into farms for the Agricultural students of the University of British Columbia? Granting that this objective
at some future date may be attained, the
work will necessarily be in the hands of us
future engineers. This means that the engineers must be  trained before  the  farmers.
British Columbia is a Province with vast
opportunities for the engineer, and in con-
seruence a course in Applied Science at its
only University should be of first consideration. There are, roughly speaking, three
students for every professor in Agriculture,
and fifteen for every professor in Science.
Is the expenditure in these two courses
proportional to either the number of students or to the public demand? No! Then
what is the reason? Answer: Someone has
blundered. w. S.
Editor  "Ubyssey."
Dear Sir:—To several of us, who are
growing old, a serious problem presents
itself. Among the members of the first year
there are a considerable number of freshettes who evidently have not heard of the
regulations regarding dress in the University, especially hair dress and the lack of it.
There are several freshettes under the required age (sixteen) attending on special
permit. It is high time that these and any
other offenders recognized the fact that an
undergraduate of the University is obliged
to conform to the regulations. And one rule
is that every girl in the first year shall have
her hair so arranged that it does not hang
about her neck and shoulders in ordinary
public school fashion.
There are a goodly number of us who left
that custom behind several years ago. It is
rather distressing for us to attend lectures
and sit behind a young student who, .from
the back view, looks more like a second
year hign  school  pupil!
Remember, girls, you are in college now.
Show some dignity in appearance, at least.
A  SPINSTER.
Some letters left for next week.
By  the  broad  expansive  campus—of  the
High  School o'er  the street—
Stands   a   bare   and   barn-like   structure
where the Science lectures meet
Where   the   mighty  men   of   Science;   all
the tribe of Chieftain Sid
Study arcs and curves and constants, and
the  things that Newton  did.
When   I   met   them  first,   I   marvelled,   I
had heard these "Engineers"
And  their  prohibition war-song with  the
emphasis  on  "beers,"
So   I   looked  about  for  beer-kegs,   but   I
couldn't  find  a place
Where a man could swing a schooner in
the   much-restricted   space.
SCIENCE APPOINTMENT
The following "Personal" from a recent number of the "Engineering and
Mining Journal" should be of interest to
students considering a course in Metallurgical Engineering:
"Henry N. Thompson, formerly head
chemist for the Anaconda Copper Mining
Company, and later superintendent of the
Tovele smelter, International Smelter
Co., has been appointed Professor of
Metallurgy in the University of British
Columbia."
Mr. Thompson was one of the first
persons to take out a B. C. Provincial^
Assayer's License, and is a member of
both the American Institute of Chemical
Engineers and the Institute of Mining
and  Metallurgical  Engineers.
NEXT TIME
TRY THE BUNGALOW
For     Light     Refreshments
Ice  Cream and Candies at
774 GRANVILLE STREET
CHRISTMAS
RIBBONS
Dainty Lingerie Ribbons in floral
designs are available in every wanted
width in pink, sky, mauve, maize, old
rose and white, at prices ranging
from  17(/2c a yard and up.
French Tinsel Ribbons, suitable for
making dainty gift novelties, are
shown in baby to 2>-inch widths, in
gold,  silver,   oxydized,   etc.
Matching Ribbons in taffeta, heavy
failles, satin, etc., are offered in all
widths, in a wide variety of shades
to  complete  any  color  scheme.
A special showing of. Bag Handles
and Rings at $1.00 a pair.
—Main Floor
LIMITED
575 GRANVILLE STREET
ORPHEUM
Week Commencing
Monday,   December  6,   1920
EMILY ANN
WELLMAN
Supported   by   Richard  Gordon. &   Co.,
In
"THE ACTOR'S WIFE"
A   Theatrical   Storm  in  Ten  Dramatic
Flashes,      Written,   Arranged   and
Directed   by  Miss  Wellman
HARRY— —NETTA
ANGER AND  PARKER
"Two Fifth  Avenue  Types"
Offer a Musical Comedy Skit,  entitled
"DON'T   PUSH"
OSCAR LORAINE
The  Violin Nuttist
PHIL— —ROY
ROY AND ARTHUR
In   "A   CHINESE   RESTAURANT"
LILLIAN— —BUD
PRICE AND BERNIE
In   "TUNE  AND   LAUGH  FASHIONS
OF 1920"
LILLIAN'S COMEDY PETS
Seven Toy Canines
OWEN McGIVENEY
The   Distinguished   Protean   Actor
Presents
"BILL SIKES"
A   Quick    Change   Dramatic   Episode
 from   Dickens
British  Weekly Concert Orchestra
EDUCATIONAL
STATIONERY
STUDENTS WILL FIND IT
INTERESTING TO VISIT
OUR UP-TO-DATE STORE.
WE ARE HEADQUARTERS
FOR EDUCATIONAL STATIONERY — ' CHAPMAN'S
LOOSE-LEAF    BOOKS,    Etc.
Ollarke Sc Stuart OId.
LIMITED
Wholesale and Commercial
Stationers
550 SEYMOUR STREET
VANCOUVER,   B. C.
Tel. Ex., Seymour 3 THE   UBYSSEY
December 2, 1920
Keep up the Christmas
Spirit by sending
Greeting Cards
THE THREE WISE MEN of the
East came, bringing gifts of frankincense and myrrh. So each year at
Christmas time all wise and kindly
people not only give gifts to those
they love, but also send far and wide
the friendly greeting of a Christmas
Card. Our cards this year have been
chosen especially for the appropriateness of their greetings and their neat
and artistic designs.
CHOOSE YOUR CHRISTMAS
CARDS  NOW.
—Greeting   Card   Dept.,   Main  Floor.
David  Spencer
LIMITED
Evans & Hastings
PRINTERS
— of —
"The Ubyssey
for  1920-1921
WE MAKE A SPECIALTY  OF
College Annuals
Magazines
Ball Programmes
Etc., etc.
578 SEYMOUR STREET
VANCOUVER,  B. C.
High-Grade Work and Quick
Service characterize our up-to-date
establishment.
MECHANICS  OR  CALCULUS
Find when £ s. d. may be a minimum,
having been given P.C.=Police Constable, £ s. d.=pounds, shillings and pence.
J.P.=Justice of the Peace and XXX=the
Customs  mark on  beer  kegs.
Let M be the driver of an automobile
working up to a velocity V.- When V
becomes sufficiently great M will approach P.C., in which case V will equal
zero. For small values of V, PC may be
neglected; but if V be large, it becomes
necessary to square P.C. By a well-
known elementary theorem PC+£s.d.--=
PC — -. When this quadrature is affected,
PC will immediately vanish. This quadrature may be affected by substituting
X"=XXX for £ s. d. This method is
preferable when £ s. d. is a small quantity with regard to M. Now, if we substitute J.P. for P.C. the problem is more
difficult to solve, because JP- is an impossible quantity. The problem can then
only be solved by the use of logs, but
they must be used with great care.
LAMENT FOR "THE OLD WAY'
Backward,   turn   backward,   O   Time,   in
your  flight,
Give us a maiden with skirt not so tight:
Give us a girl whose charms, old or new,
Are not exposed by much peek-a-boo.
Give us a maiden, no matter what age,
Who won't use the street as a vaudeville
stage;
Give us a girl not so sharply in view—
Dress  her  in  skirts  the  sun  won't  shine
through.
Then   give   us   the   dances   of   days   long
gone  by,
With plenty of clothes and  steps  not  so
high;
Oust   turkey-trot   capers   and   buttermilk
glide,
The   all-over   twist   and   the   wiggle-tail
slide.
Then  let  us   feast  our   tired  optics  once
more
On   a   genuine   woman   as   sweet   as   of
yore.
Yes,   Time,   please   turn   backward   and
grant our request
For  God s  richest  blessing—but  not  one
undressed.
Important Notice
The basketball teams will wear their
new shirts on Friday evening. The trousers have not yet arrived.
The class in Fussing II. met last Wednesday. Mr. R. W. Parker, Science '23,
was elected  president.
Hooper—What are you doing this
afternoon?
Keith—Nothing;   what   are   you   doing?
Hooper—Nothing.
Keith—Who else is going to play?
Overheard in the Elec. Lab.: "Here.
Mac, take off your watch-chain; it's
affecting my compass."
First Freshie—Have you read Sir Gilbert Parker's "The Right of Way'?
Second Freshie—Yes; but it isn't a
patch on the "Seats of the Mighty."
V
ancouver
Citizens' Club
(Non-Membership)
UNDER  THE BIG   CLOCK
We serve a 60-cent
MERCHANTS'   LUNCH
TABLE   D'HOTE   DINNERS,   $1.50
SUPPER  TARTIES  and  BANQUETS,
with   private   rooms,   our  specialty
SUPPER   DANSANT   Wednesday   and
Saturday evenings, from 9 to 12, $1.00
Phone,  Sey. 796
A. WATTS, Mgr.
PREPARE
for the  world of
BUSINESS
by  taking a short course  in  the
Sprott-Shaw School
of Commerce and Telegraphy
Day  and  Evening  Classes
Phone, Seymour 1810
R.   J.   SPROTT,   B.A.,   Manager.
A  SAVINGS  ACCOUNT
By carrying money around
in your pocket you will
never learn the habit of
THRIFT. Deposit your
spare funds with this Bank
in a Savings account; interest will be paid, and you
can withdraw both principal and interest at any
time.
We welcome small accounts.
The Canadian
Bank of Commerce
PAPER FOR
PERSONAL LETTERS
KENMARE LINEN is a correspondence paper of dainty charm
and   distinctiveness.
Dignity without severity lends
personal individuality to private
writing.
Comes   in  boxed  or  tablet  form.
Smith, Davidson & Wright
LIMITED
Manufacturers   and   Wholesale
Stationers
VANCOUVER   AND   VICTORIA,   B.C. December 2, 1920
THE   UBYSSEY
SOCIETY BRAND
CLOTHES SHOP
Rogers  BIdg., 450 Granville Street
CLOTHES  FOR  YOUNG  MEN
Glad   to   show   the   new   models.
They are  entirely  different.
FIT-REFORM
WARDROBE
345 Hastings Street, West
J. W. Foto
Limited
WE SELL CLOTHES FOR YOUNG
MEN AND MEN WHO STAY YOUNG
When Wanting Nice
Things to Eat
CUSICK
CAN   SUPPLY   YOUR   WANTS
From the very finest Chocolates,
Home-made Candy, Ice Cream and
Soft Drinks, Pastries, and such like,
to the daintiest Utile Dinner and
Light Lunch you ever ate.
Make sure you go to Cusick.
Cor. Heather and Broadway, West
MIDWAY  PHARMACY
Phone,   Fair. 840
Cor. Broadway and Heather Street
VANCOUVER,  B. C.
PRESCRIPTIONS  A  SPECIALTY
We    carry    a    complete    stock    of
LOOSE-LEAF FOLDERS
LOOSE-LEAF REFILLS
EXERCISE BOOKS
WATERMAN PENS
We deliver anywhere, at any time.
CHRISTMAS PLAYS
(Continued from Page 1)
The story in "Trifles" revolves about
the murder of a farmer in his lonely
prairie farmhouse. His widow is suspected of the crime, and the officers of
the law arrive, accompanied by two simple farmers' wives, who are near neighbors. While the men go about with a
semblance of sagacity looking for evidence, the women, by means of the few
household trifles scattered about, convince
themselves of the legal guilt and moral
innocence of the suspected woman. That
they can reveal to the audience the true
character of the widow, and the complete
sequence of events which led to the
crime, without even admitting their conclusions to themselves or conveying any
hint to male detectives in speech, is evidence of the excellent interpretation of
their parts by the two women (Miss
Marjorie Agnew and Miss Mollie Jackson).
"The Tents of the Arabs," on the other
hand, is a play which relies for its effect
almost entirely on the beauty of its lines.
Mr. J. V. Clyne has a pleasing voice, well
adapted to the satisfactory rendering of
his part. As an artist, he compares with
the two to whom we have, arbitrarily
enough, given first mention. His gipsy
sweetheart (Miss Jessie Adams), with almost perfect grace and poise, was, unfortunately, unable to throw her voice
to the back of the hall, but to those nearest  her  rendering was  felicitous.
After three dramas, two of considerable
intensity, "The Florist Shop," a play of
love and laughter, came as a welcome
change. Miss Muriel Evans delighted
and charmed all in the character of the
sympathetic and charming match-maker.
She possesses that rare knack of amateurs, the faculty of withdrawing attention from herse'f when other business is
progressing. Miss Helen Kloepfer plays
the role of the neglected middle-aged
spinster as well as is possible for a
charming Sophomore, and Mr. Frank
Ptimphrey and Mr. Alan D. Hunter capably   maintain   difficult   character   parts.
On the whole, while the choice of plays
was ambitious, it was shown to be justified. While the best actors were no better than last year's, the collective standard was far superior, and there was no
case of failure. Space forbids the mention of all who deserve it. Credit for a
large share of the success of the performances must be given to the three
coaches, Prof. Wood, Prof. Larsen and
Dr. A.  F. B.  Clark.
PROF. M—T—N
A professor gay, a smoker attended;
To enjoy the show he fully intended;'
But his mind, algebraic, descriptive,
geometric,
Trained but in ratio trigonometric,
Saw in the maidens, so gracefully posing,
A complex problem there nicely composing;
Their lines parabolic, at angles tangential;
Their sines and their cosines, and curves
providential
He considered them but as a system of
particles,
(Certainly an interesting collection of
articles)
But when he went home, his mind analytic,
Wished by the gods he was a cabaret
critic.
Mr. Bramston-Cook, of Science '24, has
expressed the desire that all Science men
withdraw from the halls on his arrival
in the morning, that the full glory of
spats and cane may make an indelible
impression in the amorous minds of the
fair freshettes who inhabit our building
between nine and ten.
Last night I held *a little hand,
So dainty and so neat;
I   thought   my   heart   would   surely   bust,
So wildly did it beat.
No other hand into my soul
Could greater  gladness bring
Than that I held last night, which was
Four aces and a king.
Why Did the Class Laugh?
Prof.—Will  someone in  the  class give
two  appropriate values  for  "x"  and  "y"?
S-n-y—Seven and eleven.
LINES ON ARTS '21 PARTY
Jim's gal was tall and slender,
My gal was sweet and low;
Jim's gal wore silk and satin,
My gal wore calico;
Jim's gal was wild and woolly,
My gal was sweet and good;
Think I'd trade my gal for Jim's?
You're gosh darn right  I would.
"NICK"  CARTER.
One Beauty of Our Shoes
Is their perfect comfort. Built, as they are, in the latest models, with every
attention to style detail; nevertheless, comfort has not been sacrificed in the
slightest degree.
Our new Winter Footwear is smart, indeed, yet as comfortable and long-
wearing as shoes can be made.
Their prices represent the Biggest Shoe Values in Town.
THE INGLEDEW SHOE CO.
SIX-SIXTY-SIX GRANVILLE ST.
"Vancouver's Smartest Shoe Store" THE   UBYSSEY
December 2, 1920
■m
THE RAID ON THE SCIENCE
BUILDING
Midnight!   The  distant gong"   Afar  Big
Ben
Scarce ceased his njuflfted boom, when
Still,  and silent fijyu^fi 'cross  the dim-lit
campus, p'*-
Hid   by   o'erhangihgVeav-es    in    deepest
gloom
Shadowy    shapes    of    bold    adventurers
came
By  devious  paths,  where   light  was   not.
With  cautious footsteps  slowly placed,
Like a cat at night, crept they on,
Uttering not a word, and scarcely breathing,
Each, shrouded in his hooded cloak
As  one  in  mortal  fear.
Unperceived,     in     safety,     the     goal     is
reached,
The   darkened   building   "Home   of   Science," lies before them;
Two   hardy   spirits   serve   as   watchers,
while,
The  band   mid   deathly   silence   do   their
noble   deed.
With  muffled  brush  and  noiseless  paint
Slow subdued strokes on deadened walls.
Their mighty caption, in letters bold
Their   sign   was   placed:    That   all   who
saw, ,
Might know the spirit of their class.
There let it stay, a sign to show
To all posterity', that though in all else
O'erwhelmed and shamed by Science
Yet  in  this alone they were  courageous
Brave members of a noble class.
The difference between a politician and
a lady:
A politician says "Yes" when he means
"Perhaps," and "Perhaps ' when he
means "No," or he's no politician.
A lady says "No" when she means
"Perhars," and "Perhaps" when she
means "Yes,'   or she's no lady.
To One of Our Reporters
Hush, little vampire, don't you cry;
You'll get his class pin bye and bye.
—Science  '24.
We will now sing that popular little
ditty entitled, "Mother, don't bother with
the wood; father's coming home with a
load."
Overheard in the Arts  Building
"He asked if he could kiss me.
I let him kiss me twice.
I know I hadn't oughter;
But, gosh! he smelt so nice."
Ireland's    new   phone    number:     Mae
Sweeney—ate nothing.
Austin (after sleeping in a Victoria
hotel): "Clerk, I have only one complaint to make regarding your hotel."
"And what is that, sir?"
"The bed was too short."
"Well, you shouldn't have slept so long
in it. '
TUXEDO OR DINNER COAT
OR A FULL DRESS SUIT
The social season is now on, and Mr. Clelland
(practically by request of many of his customers) has decided to specialize in the Tuxedo, or
Dinner Coat, and Full Dress Suits for young
men. He has a remarkable range of samples
and models, and you should certainly go up and
look at them. Everybody you speak to about
it says the same thing, that particularly a Full
Dress Suit must be made-to-measure to look
right; it really is the only thing; and then, after
all, it costs no more than a ready-made.
Slip up and see the patterns and style, anyway, even if you're not just ready to buy.
By express elevator y6u're up in Clelland's
room in less 'n a minute.
He stays open till six on Saturdays.
James Clelland
1225 Standard Bank Bldg.
510  Hastings Street,  West Vancouver,  B. C.
Phone, Seymour 7280
The Barron Hotel
and
Restaurant
VANCOUVER,   B. C.
Phone, Seymour 2011
HAS IT OCCURRED
TO YOU
—that your Photograph as a Christmas gift would be highly appreciated
by your friends, especially the absent
ones?
Pictures are very easy to mail, very
inexpensive, and very appropriate.
You'll get the  quality kind at
Bridgman s Studio
413 GRANVILLE STREET
Vancouver, B. C.
fflaafrnn - (Craft
Quality Clothes
FOR YOUNG MEN
STYLISH
GUARANTEED
The Shop of Fashion-Craft
Thos. Foster
& Co., Ltd.
ONE STORE ONLY
514 GRANVILLE ST.

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