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The Ubyssey Mar 24, 1931

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March 24,1931
Spooah! McGoofus Downed
Editor, "Ubyssey,"
For the third time I protest against
the agrant liberties taken by your
scurrilous rag. Twice have I written
anent the misspelling of the name of
shrildu etoain. This time I wish to
take you to task for your, deplorable
lack of tact and inexcusable violation
of all ethics of journalism in changing the wording of my last epistle.
I accused your staff of "abysmal in-
eptitude." This phrase you deleted.
Inaccurate orthography may be excused by ignorance, but the deliberate
misrepresentation of those who deign
to make use of your despicable
columns manifests a transcendental
and brazen dishonesty unknown to
any journalist worthy of the name.
Rufus W. McGoofus.
Council In The Dark
As To The Score
That soccer be raised to the rank
of a major sport was the decision
suspended by the Students' Council
late tomorrow night. The matter
elicited considerable controversial discussion in the undergraduate talk
"This would be absolutely contrary
to present conditions," stormed Alan
"Sure," retorted Barley Krauts
quickly, "and I'm right behind the
Soccer Club. The sooner students begin to play soccer the better."
"I think that such a step would be
tactless, to say the least, considering
the other sports," interposed the
Hon. Dutchison.
''Well, it couldn't beat our letter to
the Board of Governors last fall,"
reminisced Betty Hayfleld.
"Or our actions in—" began Jean
"Stop, stop—remember the press is
here," urged Mac  Frankenzie.
"I wish the chair would keep out of
thisri* snarled Dumbell. "Now if you'll
all sit down so that my standing up
will be conspicuous—"
"As far as basketball is concerned,"
interrupted Benito Blunderson, boom-
(Continued on column 3)
This is Arts '32
Election of officers for Arts '32 will
take place on Thursday, March 26, at
noon in Arts 100. Nominations must
be in by 5 p.m. Wednesday, March 25.
;3.iaq Xi|B3.i si Suudg
M0U5J   9A\  AVON
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aav NEWS
By  Tom  Thumb.
Nine o'clock lectures were interrupted for a few minutes on Monday
morning when fire swept through the
Science building and broke a few test
tubes. It struck the structure amidships hut the final score was never
in doubt.
No casualties were recorded although a Freshman claims his hair
was singed. On being asked if his
head was covered by insurance he
replied that he never wore a hat of
any kind. He is still at large.
One chemistry professor took advantage of the roaring flames to light
a cigarette. Another member of the
faculty was heard to exclaim that it
was 'big stuff."
Earlv estimates of the damage
reached a total of 2Va to 3 cents but
later, after a student reported the loss
of a "Ubyssey," estimates jumped ten
or twelve thousand dollars.
After it was all over, the fire department arrived. They were told
what had occurred and all the firemen agreed they were sorry they had
missed seeing it.
The fire was quenched by shooing
the flames out the windows. A Science-
man is blamed for starting the outbreak. Rumor has it that he was seen
entering the building with a box of
dynamite. He denies doing any such
thing and also claims that the dynamite was no good anyway.
All this may not be true but at
least it's news.
The final meeting of the Radio Club
for the year 1930-1931 will be held in
Ap. Sc. 202, Tuesday, March 24, at
12:15. Election of officers for next
year will take place at this meeting.
All members are asked to attend.
Applications are now open for
membership in the Mathmatics Club.
Only third year honor students need
apply. Address enquiries to Margaret
Allan, Secretary, via Arts Letter
A general meeting of the Soccer
Club will be held today noon in Arts
108 to wind up the season's business.
At a brief meeting of the Women's
Gym Club before the last class on
Thursday in the gym the new officers for the year '31-'32 were
elected.   These  were:
President, Miss Jean Campbell;
Vice-President, Miss Pat Lawrence;
Secretary - treasurer, Miss Olive
Enquiries for the schedule plannt 1
for the next year should be addressed to one of the officers,
Where have you gone? Oh, fleeting
Oh,   where,   where   are   you   roam- i
ing? ' |
Are   you,   tanked   up   with   giggle-
juice, |
Out godelling  in  the gloaming?       I
Or  are  you  on   your  mountain-top;
Cavorting with  the  ,;now   (leas,
Pursuing each one,  hop  by hop,
To scratch his little toeaies?
Come  on,   Where   are   vou?   Holler
I'm   getting  tired   of  waiting.
Oh well, if you're afraid to shout,
I won't stay here debating.
So   long.
Shrdlu  Etaoln,
Muse of  Muck
3be £tqe Vale, jtteanittg
Farewell,  my dearest Shrdlu,
The year is nearly done
The   time   of  swat   and   sweat   is
Farewell to all our fun.
Now breathe you smoke and flames
from   out
That foul and fearful hole,
Whence issue words of grim portent
Deep from thy damned soul.
Thy    evil    eyes    flash    speechless
Thy far-flung ears they sneer,
While that long fishy boneless nose
Looks through all with a leer.
Shrdlu   Acorrectq   Etaoin   aO.K.Q
That greatest of mankind—
ilt hide thy visage from our eyes,
leave us all to grind?
W   know   thy   great   and   noble
guiding hand we feel,
bu art Life  to  the  Undergruds
o thee we bow the heel.
Great and mighty Shrdlu—
Varsity's one sage—
Famous mucky muse of Muck—
Sublime one of our age—
You've   watched   with   a   paternal
You've rhided with one ear—
You've    smoked    and    sighed   and
sworn   in   turn
Through  this dam' foozled year.
So now you fold th' all-seeing ears
And clour th' all-hearing eye
And  place   thy   night   cap   on   thy
And thus blow forth a sigh—
"Good   students    all   now   live    in
The   musey Muck doth groan—
"Ieh fleagh hjti nomte plug
Hitwofogofol—I'm  alone."
The scene was so impressive as he
blew his  mighty nose
That I, impetuous with spring,
threw Shrdlu a  rose.
The permanent University blazer,
proposed by several members of the
Faculty, and finally endorsed by Students' Council, is now a reality. The
blazer will be of excellent, dark-blue
material, the badge being worked out
in gold. Satisfactory arrangements
have been made with David Spencer,
Ltd. to import and stock them, An
order has been placed for 100, and is
being filled by Ruttress and Co., of
The blazers should arrive in Vancouver by the end of June. They may
be had, however, on the presentation
of a written requisition from the
Business Manager. Furthermore,
Council has ruled that they may only
be worn by members of the Junior
and Senior classes, by alumni, or past
students who have reached their
junior year.
Blazers so for offered as U.B.C.
blazers have been of rather poor
quality being evidently those manufactured in bulk for the export trade
from England. The one chosen by the
committee is hand-tailored and of
much superior quality, and so the
amount of wear in it will be well
worth the slightlv extra  price.
$14.00—Those wishing to procure it
in the summer, while the University is closed, are asked to get in
touch with Jean Telford or Bert
ing from behind the Throne, "We'd be
glad to see another major sport on the
campus, and Council would b* well
advised to give the soccer laddies a
boost up."
"But that Soccer Editor," objected
Jean Belfort. "Normal, healthy and
amusing, but—"
"It's not the major sports that
would object," volunteered Margaret
Softhead," but I'm sure the chess
"Don't bring chess into it," shouted
Grimmest. "Let's get down to business,
If this Council doesn't take some action, I'll resign."
"Resign!" exclaimed the Hon.
Dutchison. "That's what we're all out
to do. The students don't appreciate
(Continued on Column 4)
For the first time in the history of
the University of British Columbia,
the president of the student body has
exercised his prerogative (Power,
right, or authority) and suspended
that high and mighty person who rules
this university with an iron hand,
Harnold Anderson. The fight started
over who had the right to pick up the
largest cigarette butt on the common
room floor.
Henderson maintained that as he
was business manager he had the
right to save money and this was one
way in which he could save. While
Henderson stated that as he was,
nominally at least, head of the student body he had the inalienable right
to do what he pleased, so nobody could
criticize him for picking out the juiciest and longest butt which had not
up to that time been stepped on. Onlookers of this battle of the ages said
that it was with great difficulty that
the two principals deterred themselves
from suspending each other. Many
times it was on the tip of Darnold
Henderson's tongue to say, Henderson, you're fired, but owing to the
extreme anger and heat of the situation he got an impediment in his
speech and stumbled over the door
sill, and thus Hutchison was allowed
the signal honor of being the first man
who had the nerve to stand up to the
business manager and say what's
The moral of this story is that
spring and exams are here to stay
for some time at least and so it is
hoped that McGregor will not be here
again next year to preside over the
doubtful destinies of a Sport Page.
The inter-class soccer final will
be played Thursday noon between
Education and Science '34.
us anyway."
"What's the score here?" demanded
Barley Krants.
"Sit down," bellowed Dutchison.
"Will the meeting come to order? Put
away that yo-yo, Jean."
"Have we the authority to make
soccer a major sport?" queried Mac
Frankenzie, "Doesn't the Alma Mater
"Oh, the Alma Mater Society is
absolutely incapable of forming an
intelligent • opinion," declared Alan
"We can all resign, anyhow," observed Grimmest.
"I think the press should be asked
to withdraw," asserted Jean Belfort.
"That's a tactless idea," protested
Ye Scribe. Remember the brandy scandal? We soon <rot the dope on that.
Now when I'm here, I use my discretion, but if you put me out, I'll have
to use my imagination. The students
must know what's going on."
"If they could listen in on these
meetings, we'd soon be out of office,"
admitted Dutchison.
"What's the score?" demanded
Treasurer  "Jack"  Takesum.
"Better let the press stay," counselled Dumbell. "We've bucked the
Pub. Board enough. I don't know how
we got awav with it."
"Dumbell!" roared Dutchison,
"We're discussing—"
"I rise to a point of order," announced Betty Hayfield, grabbing the
olives from the Krauts.
"What's the score here?" shouted
"Are you ready ±or the question?"
challenged the Hon. Dutchison. "All
in favor—contrarycarried."
"Railroaded again," shrieked Jean
"Futile, futile, futile," groaned
Krauts. "Don't you find it in your
The meeting adjourned several
hours later.
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'no ub3(.i s.ibo Am ino qo '}n;}
LOST—One fountain pen, in envelope
addressed to W. A. Barr was taken
from the Men's letter rack, between 9-10 a.m. yesterday. Anyone knowing its where a b o u t s
please communicate with Sid Semple or W. A. Barr.
Esprit d'Amour
Flower in the Bottle
(For the Woman who Cares)
552 Granville Street
The unemployed soccer championship of the world will be decided at
Cambie St. Wednesday when Varsity meets Cambie Street Rovers at
3:30 p.m.
Keeping up their reputation as
Varsity's most intrepid adventurers
thf members of the Outdoors Club
will on Thursday morning at 1 a.m.
risk life and limb on a ski trip to
the icy fastness of Stanley Park, an
area inhabited only by bears, monkeys, Canada geese and other wild
and ferocious beasts, and but little
known to man.
A dainty repast dished up in the
Monkey House will consist of beans,
friizled sausages, blueberry pie with
puffed paste of pancake flour, and
coffee flavoured with tea and lemon
jelly powder. A stirring event will
be the competition to see who can
finish eating plates of beans first,
bean by bean. The odds favor Laurie
McHugh and Doue McCrimmon, past
master in this art.
In case of a tie 25 pancakes must
be consumed to decide the winner.
After drinking to the lasting honor
and glory of the British navy, the
Peanut Vendor will be played one
hundred times in succession on a cabinet Victrola brought along for the
purpose. Everybody out and make
this a big success and don't forget
to bring a few peanuts and onions
for the animals as a treat.
Wild Fastness of Stanley Park
To Have Rustic latt
Our Motto IS Satisfaction
4478-lOth Avenue West
In line broadcloth; beautiful designs, both woven and ferruled;
assorted Lang and other good
makes; regular values to $2.95.
University Book Store
Hours: 9 a.m. to 6 p.m.; Saturdays, 9 a.m. to 1 p.m.
Loose-Leaf Note Books, Exercise Books and Scribblers
at Reduced Prices
Graphic and Engineering Paper, Biology Paper
Loose-Leaf Refills, Fountain Pens and Ink.
Pencil and Drawing Instruments.
Crepe Paper for Masquerades, Etc.
Students of the (glasses
of 31
Don't let your interest in University affairs
cease with graduation! Get the latest campus
news at first hand through the columns of the
"Ubyssey," and do your part in the up-building of
an informed and appreciative public opinion on
University matters ivhich is of vital importance
to the future growth and progress of this institution.
The "Ubyssey" will be mailed to you anywhere for only $8.00 for the entire 1931-32 session. You may pay when subscribing if you wish;
otherwise, you will receive a bill in due course of
next year.
Hand in your name and address to Reg. Price
at the Publications Office, or sign the lists which
will be posted on the campus.
"Keep   in   touch   with   your
through the "Ubyssey."
Alma   Mater
Reg. Price,
Circulation Manager, rHE UBYSSEY
March 24,1931
They Say That Henderson Was There.
Playing the best basketball of their young careers Varsity's
Senior "A" basketball team toppled the mighty Adanacs, erstwhile
champions of the Canadian basketball world, off their thrones
Saturday night when the students walked off with the fifth and
final game of the series 21-16.
The game was a powerful sermon for student support. After
winning the first two games of the series, the Varsity team started
to slip and lost the next two.   Friday
the team appealed for student backing and the self same students replied
by packing the gym. an hour and a
, half before the game. What the Varsity team did in the way of delivering
the goods would have shamed one of
our oest transfer companies. They
grabbed an early lead and held it in
■pite of the best that the Canadian
champions had to offer.
Cy Lee started things off in an
auspicious manner for Varsity with
a long shot in the first few moments
of the game and Tony Osborne made
it four on a beautiful pass from Campbell. Mayers scored the first points
for the visitors with a shot from centre. Osborne did something rather
unusual for a Varsity player when he
sunk a fool shot following a personal
on Butler. Pi Campbell out-mayered
Mayers with a long shot and followed
up by missing two free throws. Nicholson netted the prettiest basket of
the evening to bring the score up to
9-5. Adanacs started one of their
famous rallies and Hood and Butler
scored to make the score 11-9. Hood
scored on a personal on Lee to make it
11-10. Varsity missed two more free
shots and it was half time.
Varsity began to falter just a trifle at the start of the second frame but
the superior reach and defensive tactics of Osborne and Henderson saved
the day. By some queer quirk of fate
Osborne found himself alone under the
\ Adanac basket and in order that he
' wouldn't be lonely somebody gave him
the ball. The score was then 13-10.
Butler scored on a personal on the
same Tony. Nicholson again reverted
to the spectacular and pushed in a
^-Mie-hand shot that did no good to the
Adanac chances. Fraser scored on a
free throw to bring the Westminster
total up to 12 but Osborne sprang into the limelight again by batting a rebound and made the Varsity score 17-
12. The Adanacs again started a rally
and Shiles scored to bring the Adanacs a trifle closer. Lee nullified the
advantage with a pretty shot and then
—ret|red a very exhausted young man.
Varsity then started to stall like an
old Ford coming up Trimble Hill and
for the last five minutes the champions very seldom had their hands on
the ball. Fraser grabbed it long enough
to make the Adanac total 16 and that
was their final effort of the evening.
When the final gun was fired Nicholson was in the act of scoring and as
the ball was in the air the basket
(Continued on page  3
According to Coach Don Tyreman,
Varsity Swimmers will once more disturb the placid waters of the Crystal
Pool when they meet Crescent and
West Van. in an effort to secure second place in the league standing. At
present Varsity and Crescent Clubs
are tied for this coveted position.
Studes will be represented in the
50 and 100 by Harry Andison, snappy
Freshman star from the interior
wilds, and Lofty Davis will stir up
the mud in an attempt to set a new
plunge record. Ernie Peden, Olympic
prospect, will again fall the usual
three metres, while Ron Wilson will
he tearing around the old pool in the
440, backstroke, and medley. Jimmy
Wilson has his hands full, or rather
his mouth full, for the evening in the
100, backstroke, and medley. Billy
Moffat will do tailspins in the diving,
and also mess around in the 50 and
440, while Gustafson swims the 50
and Relay.
For the women, Mary McLean will
again endeavour to scintillate in the
50, 100, and medley. Phyllis Boe will
plow her way through the 50 and 220,
while Marg. Peel will bubble hither
and yon in the 220 and backstroke.
Margaret Ross has a busy evening as
she is entered in the backstroke,
breastroke, and medley. Audrey Rol-
ston and Dorothy Rennie will probe
the depths and gaze mistily at the
bottom sifting nast in the plunge, and
Audrey herself will come to the top
long enough to do her bit in the relay.
Jo McDiarmid will go through her
usual antics that mean good swim
Sport Editor's
Pets Outcharge
Eastern Threat
Chang Suey Amazed By Defeat
by O'Cedar.
Playing before thousands of Chinamen and about ten Varsity students,
the Chinese team took a 3-1 lacing
at the hands of the U.B.C. soccermen
at Powell Street Saturday.
The game itself was a classic. It
produced flashes of brilliant football,
tackling of the most vigorous type
and amusement as the fervent oriental
supporters refused to stand off the
field. Two duels were dished up to the
approving multitudes, Bill Latta
clashing on and off with Jack Soon
who seems to be a mountain climber
by trade, and Ernest C. Roberts paying most intimate attention to Queen
Yin who insisted in caressing the
Robertian stomach with his knee or
whatever was handy.
For twenty minutes of the first half
the Chinese stood the Varsity defense
upon its arrogant head but for one
reason or another failed to dent the
Then Todd and his merry men got
busy and Alan hit the bar while
Latta and Bunny Wright came close.
Finally Latta decided that Jack Soon
could do without him for a while and
hurled himself and the ball into the
net after neat work by Bunny.
The whiteshirts went on a spree at
the other end and forced five corners
in short order. These were exceedingly
pretty but did not get anywhere. Half
time brought welcome rest to the
hacking brigade, while tne Varsity
boys did not mind it either.
After Tommy Sanderson had patted
the collective back of his team, the
Gold and Blue colours were again
noticed in Eastern territory. Some
time later Jack Soon decided that
gentle methods were no good and
promptly attempted to spread Al.
Todd over the pitch. The ref. was on
the job and Latta scored from the
At this juncture Queen Yip became
a trifle annoyed and pulling Roberts
to mother earth stamped upon him
very forcibly. The dose was repeated
a minute later and then the Roberts
shoulder came into action and Queen
Yip was a sadder and gentler soccer  player thereafter.
Alan Todd then became very brotherly and faced with an open goal
slipped the pill to Dave of the same
genus who banged it past an annoyed
Chinese goalie.
The Chinese evidently realized that
football was no good against Varsity
and did all manner of strange deeds.
Chalmers came to the rescue by handling in the area and Queen Yip scored
from the penalty as the leather
slithered from McGregor's hands. By
this time the showers had driven the
audience to vantage points on house-
verandas across the street while the
players were all wet. And so it ended.
Read On Ye Swabs
More Soccer Sobs
Of the Varsity cohorts, Al. Todd
was his usual clever self and even
found time to express anger by stamping noon the ball and completely
bursting it. Bunny Wright however,
was the sensation of the forward line
while the way Dave Todd used his
shoulder was a treat to watch. Kozoolin had a rough voyage at centre,
his opponents using everything but
the goalposts to stop him. Latta's
runs and accurate passes were a feature.
The kid half back line stood the
strain of a gruelling game creditably.
Costain was heady and sure while
Cox was cool at all times and bottled
up his wing. Dickson, although shaky
at first played like an old timer later.
There was not much to choose
between the backs. Their kicking in
the first half was little short of atrocious but the second session brought
improvement, the pair of them completely baffling Queen Yip, star
Oriental centre.
We, the Sports Department of the Ubyssey, have had something on our minds for some time now, and this matter has to do
with the awarding of Big Blocks.
It is our opinion that the Big Block system as at present constituted is, politely speaking, rotten. Although all Varsity athletes in major or minor sports are supposed to be eligible for Big
Blocks it is generally only major sports which are the recipients,
though there may be exceptions this year. Of course, it is a great
honour or should be for a man to receive such an award, but at the
same time there are many men who are versed in many sports
who turn out for the one promising the best reward. This is not
a good thing for college athletics and savours too much of the too
frequent Americanisms which drift across the line and are welcomed by our allegedly wise executives.
The Big Block committee gets to work at the end of the year
and discusses players eligible for the major awards. A lot is said
about the attitude of the player and personal likes and dislikes
creep into the argument only too often.
It seems that the man who wants his Big Block here hardly
dare differ with those in authority, he is merely a part of a
machine.   All individualism is squashed.
Furthermore, it must be remembered that the men playing
a minor sport are doing just as much for the University as the
men playing for the major, and in many cases a lot more. A club
which has to fight uphill all the way and very often against its
own athletic society deserves a lot more credit than one which
because it pays the shekels to the A.M.S. is handed all the cream
in the way of conveniences and such.
Then there is the point of view of the individual player. Does
he not fight just as hard who plays for a minor team?   Does
the game itself mean just as much to his team as a champio:
game does to a major club?   The comparative value of the
vidual must be remembered in weighing these things.
Yet, on the whole a minor sport on this campus leads a
life and this is first hand knowledge for we have had expei„._
in these matters. As far as the relations between executives is
concerned there is far too much personal opinion hanging in the
air for affairs to be arranged harmoniously. In this connection
we might say that the demigods in charge of Varsity athletics
should remember that they are the servants of the individual
clubs who elected them and sometimes even the paid srvants.
Therefore why the arrogance from certain offices in the upstairs
Olympus ?
To get back to Big Blocks. Our view is that every man who
plays a certain percentage of time for a Varsity team should receive an award, if awards we must have. All awards should be
equal. We fail to see why the super-star should receive a major
award while the man who very often does the spade work is passed
over.   Every man on a team should be equal as far as actual value
is concerned.
»     *     *
One more complaint we have to make and that is as regards
to team-managers. These fellows slave for a club, give time which
they can ill afford for its welfare and at the end of the year watch
their players honoured while they sit back and look pleased. We
believe that every team manager should receive an award equal
to the highest granted to any player. At present there are occasional honour awards and these generally to major sport men.
It is the minor sport manager who should also receive such an
honour. We could name several instances this year of men who
have piloted squads to an enviable position in a league and sometimes won championships. Yet they will be passed by when they
have actually done as much as any single member of the team for
the position of the club and the reputation of the University.
* *     *
This is the last time we tap out the bi-weekly message this
year. In closing we would like to express approval of the manner
in which Charlie Schultz, M.A.A. president, has co-operated with
us and done everything in his power to further the interests of
Varsity sports.
We also owe a debt to Bessie Robertson of the Monday issue
for the manner in which she has moved ads from this page to enable us to have greater space for our copy.
* *     *
We cannot say we are sorry to see the end in view. Handling
this page and this column is a thankless task. If we are flippant
and light we are accused of childishness; if we are serious our
critics say we are acting from personal interests and being deliberately nasty. If we say nothing in a controversy we are presumed
to have admitted defeat and sometimes guilt.
* *     *
Clubs will be amused when they learn that we have tried to
be impartial. Yet we have. This page is not run by one man but,
in matters of importance, after consultation with the Sport staff.
We only regret that the respective hides of certain big shots
around here are not as thick as our own.
* *     *
Morituri te salutamus. We will receive visitors this afternoon
from 1 to 2 o'clock.
B.  Barratt;  P.   Barratt;  Gaul;  Estuhrook ;
Murray ; Nixon ;  Rogers ;  Martin.
Ellis ; Griffin ; Mercer ;  Ledlntrham ;  Cleveland.
Smith ; Latta; Duncan ; Peden ; Cliffe : Dirom ; Moore;  Winters.
Bolton ;   Tyreman ;   Farrlnsrton :   Steele ;
Gestley :  Smith ;  Jack.
Henderson :   Chapman ;   Lee.
Osborne ;   Campbell;  Nicholson :   Tdrvo.
Bob   Alpen ;   Thomas.
Alan  Todd.
Small Blocks with Honorary Mention
Wilson ;   Andersen.
Roberts ;  Chalmers.
Perdu ; Hafter ; Murdoch : Hedreen ; Mclnnes ; Hall;  WUHscroft;  McGulre.
Gordon ; Wrinch; Morrison; W. R. Mor-
row; T. Brown; Klnif; Verner; Gladostone;
Malcolm ; McKnlght; Hacccrerty ; Collins ;
Donaldson;  Bnynes.
Nesbitt; Henderson ; Foerstcr; Dalton ;
Mitchell; R. Brown; B. Brown; Burns; Tye;
Hall; Ruttan ; Grant; Senkler; K. Mercer;
Stobie; Gwyer; Patrick; Calland; Hanbury;
MncKedie: Pearson.
Armstrontr; Simpson; White; Williams;
O'Ncll; Lucas ; Mct.eod.
McGreiTor,    Cox;    Kngnnltn;    Costain ;    B.
WrlRht;  H.   Wrlirht:  D.  Todd.
W. Moffatt.
Rnmsdcn ; MoOresror ; Kelly.
Falconer;  Darrah.
Specln!   Smnll   Rlock   Awards  to
Charlie McCsdden.
Sid Semple.
Alpine Alpen Scales Heights
Handicapped by the absence of two of their best men and by
the greater number of competitors which their opponents were
able to put in the field the Varsity track and field team lost to the
College of Puget Sound by the narrow margin of four points at
a dual meet held in Tacoma last Saturday. The Blue and Gold
squad, however, succeeded in annexing nine out of fifteen first
places and in breaking four U.B.C. records.   The final score was
C.P.S. 87  1/6 points, U.B.C. 82 5/8
Ivi Kay Returns
From Yank City
With Hot Story
Reams Of Copy Stagger Us
The Puget Sound athletes got
more than their share of hard luck
when A. L. Plummer, their star sprinter, pulled a tendon in the 220 yard
dash. The American was leading at
the time and would doubtless have
been a stong contender at the finish
but for the mishap. Bobby Gaul of
nglish rugby fame won the event
ualling the present Varsity record
hile Ralph Thomas finished a close
The final event of the aftenoon was
the half mile inter-college relay. Jack
Curie of U.B.C. gave the Northerners
a lead of four yards in the initial lap
and although some of this was lost in
passing the baton Hughie Smith was
able to make up the deficiency and
slightly increase the advantage which
Gaul and Thomas successfully held,
putting the Blue and Gold team acoss
the line in 1 min. 36 6/10 sees., a new
Varsity mark fo this event.
Ralph Thomas broke the fourth
local record when he leaped 20 ft. 11 Vi
in. in the broad jump.
Detailed results of the meet follow:
120 yard hurdles—1. Weick, C.P.S.;
2. Bates, C.P.S.; 3. Jabononski, C.P.
S.; time 17 7/10 sees.
One mile—1. Allen, U.B.C; 2. Ny-
man, C.P.S.; 3. Shatford, U.B.C;
time 4 mins. 53 1/10 sees.
100 yards—1. Plummer, C.P.S.; 2.
Thomas, U.B.C; 3. Gaul, U.B.C;
time 10 sees.
Brotman, C.P.S.; 2.
3.   Bowler,   C.P.S.;
440 yards—1.
Smith, U.B.C;
time 64 3/5 sees.
Two   mile—I.
Gansner,  U.B.C;
time 10 mins. 58
220   yards—1.
Dicks,   U.B.C;   2.
3.  McCoy,  C.P.S.;
Gaul,    U.B.C;    2.
Thomas, U.B.C; 3. Brotman, C.P.S
time 23 3/5 sees.
880 yards—1. Forsythe, U.B.C; 2.
Stroebel, C.P.S.; 3. Teats, C.P.S.;
time 2 mins. 10 sees.
220 yard hurdles—1. Alpen, U.B.C;
2. Bates, C.P.S.; 3. Bower, C.P.S.;
time 28 6/10 sees.
Pole vault—1. Alpen, U.B.C; 2.
Campbell, C.P.S.; 3. Root, U.B.C;
West, C.P.S.; Kegly, C.P.S.; tied,
height  lift. 6 1/4 ins.
High jump—1. Doty, C.P.S.; 2.
Forsythe, U.B.C; Martin, C.P.S., tied,
height 5 ft. 5 ins.
Broad jump—1. Thomas, U.B.C; 2.
Doty, C.P.S.; 3. Plummer, C.P.S.; distance 20 ft. 11 1/2 ins.
Shot put—1. Henderson, C.P.S.; 2.
Gibson, C.P.S.; 3. Holland, C.P.S.;
Hedreen, U.B.C, tied; distance 35 ft.
Discuss—1. Henderson, C.P.S.; 2.
Matteson, C.P.S.; 3. Hedreen, U.B.C;
distance 115 ft. 10 ins.
Javelin—1. Alpen, U.B.C; 2. Campbell, C.P.S.; 3. Johnson, C.P.S.; distance 154 ft. 10 ins.
880 yard relay—U.B.C, (Curie,
Smith, Gaul and Thomas) time 1 min.
36 6/10 sees.
Total Points: C.P.S. 67 1/6, U.B.C
62 5/6.
Bob Alpen of Sc. '31 added another individual championship to his
long list of laurels by obtaining 15
points arising from three firsts, two
of these being new B.C. records—the
pole vault and the javelin—his third
success was in the 220 yard hurdles.
Alfie Allen of the locals showed
the Americans the way home in the
mile event when he took the lead from
Nyman of the Southeners in the final
440 yards to win by a margin of 10
yards. Ashley Shatford secured third
place for U.B.C. by successfully staving offff a powerful finish by Amey of
C. P. S.
The century proved to be a close
race, Plummer of C. P. S. doing the
sprint in 10 sees flat, nosing out Ralph
Thomas of U.B.C. by little more than
a yard, while Gaul collected the third
point for the local boys. In the 440
yards Hughie Smith set a strong pace
over three quarters of the distance
but could not keep it up to the finish,
Brotman of C.P.S. passing him in the
last twenty yards.
One of the most interesting events
of the afternoon was the 2 mile run.
Gansner set the pace for the first lap,
conceding it to McCoy of Tacoma towards the end of the second. In the
third circuit Jack Dicks, Aggie distance star, passed Gansner and fell in
behind the leader only to take the van
position at the end of the fourth. In
this lap Gansner, too, moved up one
place to put the two U.B.C. men at
the head of the field, in which position
they remained until the finish. In the
last two laps, however, the Aggie increased his lead over Gansner, crossing the line almost fifty yards in front
of the Artsman.
The 880 yard contest provided U.
B.C. supporters with a surprise. Alfie
Allen, who had previously won the
mile event, took the lead at the end
of the first circuit but his earlier efforts had taken too much out of hhu
and Canadian chances began to fall
as three of the Americans passed the
diminutive freshmen. As the final 440
yad mark was reached, however, Forsythe came from behind and pulled up
level with Stroebel of C.P.S. Round
the bend of the track the two raced
neck and neck, the Vancouver boy having the outside berth, and as the final
stretch was reached Forsythe succeeded in gaining a few inches on his man.
The result of the race, however, was
in doubt right up to the time that the
tape was broken as the Blue and Gold
entry was 'all in' long before he crossed the line and only a magnificent
fighting finish enabled him to stagger
in, a bare foot ahead of the American
(Continued on Col. 5)
Awards Committee
Now Sitting Pretty
Our fair and impartial (?) letter award
committee has at last decided upon the lucky
fortunates who next year are to sport letters.
Bin and Small Blocks, and just plain blocks.
W.  J.  Morrow;  Ashley;  Daloise:  Crowe;  W.
E. Mnclnnes.
Robinson ; Mason ; Coventry; H. Brown.
ruthers ;   Forsythe;   Weld ;   Hedley ;   Lawson ;
Kelby ; Owen ; Osborne ; Ilrand ; Newson ;
Worthiniitton; Kennedy; MofTat; Bourne;
Reid;  Stewart; Hudson.
Frnttlnger;   Grant;   Roper;   White;   Dickson ;  Fletcher.
J. Smith j H. Smith ; Broadhurst; L. Todd ;
Davis ;   Herchmor.
J.  Wilson;  Gustaffson.
Keats ;  Harris ;  Horseman.
Procter;   Powell:   Parsons.
Baker ;   Dicks ;   Barr ;   Johnston ;   Parsons ;
Merrett; Spurrier ; Kniuht.
Holmes; Campbell: Atkinson.
These grass hockey girls can't do
anything right these days. Saturday
they won another game by scoring
3 goals while Ex-Magee netted two
and thus Marj. McKay's henchwomen
will have to contest the final of the
knockout series with Ex-South Vancouver. There is not much doubt about
that issue however, so the co-eds can
rest in peace.
The latest win was really regrettable. Three times in the first half
that old ball just wouldn't stay away
from the rigging and the co-eds were
nearly in tears.
Ex-Magee got one themselves before half time and things looked
U.B.C. made a great effort in the
second spasm. They did everything
but play hockey and yet the girls of
Magee could  only  score once.
And Joy
and Family. 21; Ada-
nacs, 16; Our Soccer Rabies, 3;
Chinese, 1;
Hockey Goils, 3; Ex-
Magee,  2;
Bob  Alpen'w  Track-
men, 62</j
U. of Puget Sound,
68 2/3. .HI
II! Wl
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NOTICE—The Senior Class Executive
announces that Friday, March 27,
is the last day for the Senior men
to invite the women to the Graduating Banquet.
Thnappy Thethpianth
Thtart Thpring Tour
Wits Thpethial Catht
$x\t\)v ftytoell
NOTE—After this stoy was written
the alleged proof-readers decided to
take a hand in it. The notes in
black face ae their contribution.
"The Young Idea" will be presented
at least seventeen times moe, (how
tired they will be.) opening in Chilliwack (that's a grand town, too), on
Friday, April 24, under the auspices
of the H.M.S. Lion Chapter of the
I. 0. P. E.
The first part of the tour is scheduled as follows:—
Saturday 26th—Agassiz.
Monday 27th—Victoria.
This performance will be staged
before the largest house of the entire
route, given under the auspices of the
Victoria Kiwanis Club.
Tuesday 28th—Duncan.
Given under the auspices of the
High School teachers.
Wednesday 29th—Qualicum Beach.
This tour was played for the first
time last year, when many were turned away.
(Is this ambiguous, and if not,
why not?)
Thursday 30th—Courtenay.
Friday, April 1st—Powell River.
Saturday 2nd—Not arranged as
The troup will here break up temporarily for convocation ceremonies
and celebrations (oh! oh!). The up-
country tour will commence in Revel-
stoke on Saturday, May 9, possibly
playing Kamloops Friday, although
this has not yet been settled. The
following week is booked for six
nights solid. |
Monday 11th—Salmon Arm.
Tuesday 12th—Armstrong.
Wednesday 13th—Vernon.
Thursday 14th—Kelowna.
Friday 15th—Summerland.
Saturday 16th—Penticton.
Monday 18th—Grand Forks  (yes,
(it's a town).
Wednesday 20th—Trail.
Thursday 21st—Nelson.
Here the tour officially ends (does |
the troupe go on?), leaving the cast
time to get home by Satuday. (But
why go home?) Owing to the expense
the trip to Fenie and Cranbrook has
been abandoned.
The 23-performance record estab- i
lished by "Polly with a Past" and
kept up by "Friend Hannah" will
again be reached, possibly even exceeded. The good reception accorded
to the play in Vancouver leads the
club to hope for the welcome which
has often been given to them by out-
of-town students in their native habitat.   (Tska, Tska.)
9011)4$ j?()i0 que jm}$
wdawi$& *0fti$
The Men's Grass Hockey Club
wound up its activities for the year
when members assembled for an informal banquet in the faculty dining
room of the Cafeteria last Friday
Speakers at the affair included H.
R. Hann, Secretary of the Mainland
Grass Hockey League, Professor Logan, Honorary President of the Club,
and President Sidney Semple. Semple
expressed himself as well pleased with
the success of the club throughout the
current season, and told those present
that he intended to make application
to have the status of grass hockey
raised from a sub-minor to a minor
Mr. Hann said he had been asked
by the executive of the Mainland
League to convey to the University
Club congratulations for the success
of the college teams during the season
just finished. The speaker pointed out
that those who had the interests of
grass hockey at heart should, and he
thought did, take a special interest
in the doings of the Varsity Club
since it was the source of the greater
part of new blood which was entering
the game in Vancouver.
Professor Logan realized that the
club had a very real problem to face
in the task of interesting new students
in a game comparatively little known
in Canada. He referred to a parallel
case, in the efforts of Cambridge University introducing lacrosse into England. The speaker said that these
efforts had met with such success that
more lacrosse was played in England
than in any other country in the
world. Professor Logan also wished
the club success in its endeavors to
obtain a higher classification among
University sports.
What's the Score
Meeting of Artsmen's Undergrad; Arts 100, 12:15 p.m.
Meeting'of Soccer Club. Arts
108; 12:15 p.m.
Men's Athletic Meeting, App.
Sc. 100; noon.
Soccermen   vs.  Cambie  St.
Roves; Cambie St.; 3:30 p.m.
Women's   Athletic   Meeting;
Arts 100, at 12:10 p.m..
Election of Officers.
Inter-Class Soccer Final.
Education vs. Science '34.
Presentation Day.
Golf  Game;   University   Golf
Course; U.B.C. vs. University
of Washington.
Alma   Mater   Meeting;   Auditorium; noon.
Arts '33   Meeting.      Political
ballyhoo.    Arts 100; noon.
Seniors To Stage
Bargain Sail
The Senior Class at last Tuesday's
meeting decided to have a boat trip
in spite of having voted earlier in
the term to cancel it. As a result the
Senior Executive has been looking into the possibility of holding the boat
trip to Bowen Island.
The Union Steamship Company has
given us full details and figures, and,
if at least 200 persons attended the
affair could be held at a cost of from
$2.00 to $2.50 per head.
Those willing to attend are asked
to put their names in the "Boat-trip"
ballot box on the Council stairs. Failing sufficient support the project will
be dropped, and Saturday, May 2, will
be left open for individual picnics
and other activities.
Pockets Shrinking
As purioi^ey Grows
Public subscription, $3,245.78;
Alumni, $612.42; Student Subscription, $4,551.48; Miscellaneous (including entertainment by students and
others), $3,368.35; Caution money (estimate of amount voted) $4,000; I.O.-
U.'s, $225.   Total $16,003.03.
Per capita amounts raised by classes:
Annual Award-Granting Ceremony
Auditorium, March 27,12 Sharp.
.... 4.30
. 4.32
'31    1
Ap.  Science
.... 6.75
Social Ser
S iofee
WO l
Id  you
advise me
to read
Wanted' column."
Yoo Hoo! Here Wc Are Again
"     AM
o rmrnt Tt*n ewos.^   |
The Alma Mater Society of
the University of British Columbia will be held at noon, on Monday, March 30, in the Auditorium. Business of the meeting will
be: A consideration of the Financial Report for the season;
inauguration of the new Council, and any further business relevant to the occasion. Full attendance of all members is urgently requested.
Dean:   "I'm afraid that  you're behind  in  your studios."
Freshette:   "I   know,   sir.   But  how
could I pursue them if I weren't"
Our Own Musical Soci-
Ety Sang at the Pep
Meeting On Fryday
Friday noon the Auditorium was
filled to the brim and even overflowing
with students when the basketball
club attempted to entertain the masses
with a marvellous and entertaining
Pep Meeting. Owing to the failure of
the Commodore Cafe Orchestra, to
appear, our own Musical Society sang
several numbers from the Pirates of
Detailed results of the meet follow:
12:15—Kitsilano, etc. (1) etc., (2)
etc.,   (3)   etc.
12:16—Kla-how-ya, Adanacs. (All
competitors   disqualified.)
12:16:45—Kitsilano. (For results
see above.)
12:18:30—George Holland. Index
finger, (2), thumb, (3) tied for third
12:20—George Holland. See above.
(Happy Days are Here Again.)
12:21—Oil Vance. Commodore Cafe
disqualified for not completing forward pass.
12:22:30—Musical Society. (Time
out to wipe up eggs, etc.) "Here's a
first  rate opportunity."
12:24—Musical Society. "Hail Pottery."
12:25:30—Pause for Station announcement. Second appearance of
Oil.   (Permission of Sinclair Lewis.)
12:28—Harry Thorne, Introducing
the team.
12:32:25—Mr. Noah comes out of
the wet again.
12:35:30—Science songs, and how!
12:37—Kitsilano. (Refer to item 1.)
12:37:20—Kla-how-ya, Adanacs.
Refer to item 2. Repeated four times
with variations.
12:40—Basketball Song. Solo,
Koshevoy and Evans, on request of
Oil Vance.
12:42—Pause for Station Announcement. Oil Vance at the Mike. And so
on, till the One O'clock's.
There will be an open meeting of
the Physics Club Wednesday at 3:00
p.m. in Science 200. This is the final
meeting and election of officers will
take place. Dr. Hebb will address the
Club on "Physics as a Profession,"
and K. R. More, recently granted a
fellowship at Berkeley, will give an
outline  of his  year's work.
Aloutte, Aloutte,
Gentil Aloutte,
Je te Plumarai
L'Alouette ended a very successful year's activities Tuesday last,
when the club met at the home of
Dean Bollert to welcome its new members. Dr. Evans gave a very instructive talk on French governmental institutions, tracing the history of the
parliamntary system of today from
the "etats generaux" of medieval
France, and showing how the present
democratic constitution is one of a
long series of consitutions that have
succeeded one another since the revolution; while republican in form, this
constitution was in reality royalist in
inspiration, designed by its framers to
permit a speedy return to monarchy.
At the close of the meeing, Miss Creelman, the retiring president, presented
Miss Greig with a framed etching in
appreciation of the whole-hearted and
enthusiastic assistance she has given
the club as its honorary president,
contributing in a large measure to its
Miss Vera Scott was elected president for the coming year; she will be
assisted by an executive composed of
Miss Ruth Heighton, vice-president,
Mr. Donald Fisher, secretary, and
Miss Jessica Bell, treasurer.
More Money for
Union Suits
St. John: "Are you fond of nuts?"
Mollie: "Is this a proposal?"
At the final meeting of the Women's
Undergraduate Society in Arts 100,
Monday noon, the retiring president,
Jean Telford, announced that $1000
has been added during the past year
to the Women's Union Building Fund.
This amount was raised by the
Fashion Show held last fall, Hi-Jinx
and the Co-ed this term. The fund now
totals $6000.
Miss Bollert spoke a few words in
appreciation of the work done during
the year by the retiring executive.
Dorothy Myers received the chair
from Jean Telford.
Esme Thompson was elected to the
position of vice-president of the Society and Mary Matheson to that of
Wonder If Tqere
Will Bea Quarum
The Auditorium is to be used for
a great many of the April examinations. The time tables as posted on
the bulletin boards are correct as to
subject and dates, but students will
consult the special notices which will
be posted beside the time-tables to
find which papers will be wittcn in the
auditorium. This change will not affect Applied Science and Agriculture
students except as they may be writing on  Arts papers.
"Have you ever run amuck?"
"Naw, I drive a Ford."
Z\)t let* &orfa t||e
better M Job*
frougfct fa? $fl9
Sc $tfter UoSfers
According to the number of applications received by the University
Employment Bureau in the Admini-
station Building, by no means a few
students are trying to obtain summer
employment. Both men and women
have taken advantage of the service
supplied by the Employment Bureau.
"Success of the Bureau depends on
the co-operation of the students,"
states the Registrar, "and there must
be some students out of the hundreds
that attend University who know of
positions vacant in which they themselves are not interested."
Last year a notice was sent to each
member of the Alumni Association
and it ended with this plea for publicity, "Like other organizations, the
University Employment Bureau depends for its success on the co-operation and support of the students and
graduates. Employers seeking help
are finding the value of the Employment Bureau, but students and alumni are urged to give the Bureau publicity whenever opportunity arises,
and also to notify the Bureau of any
positions which might be filled by University students."
Those who do know of vacant positions are urged by the officials of the
Bureau to inform the employment
service and to fill out the blank forms
which are supplied, giving all the information concerning the position and
the applicant's requirements.
The service endeavors to supply
employers with the best qualified and
most capable student in any line of
work. It is operated by Miss Morrison of the Administration staff with
the advice of Stanley W. Mathews,
Tourist:   "What  does  this   mean?
There's a fly in the bottom of my cup."
Himie: "How should I know? I'm
a waiter, not a fortune teller."
(Kfae Cottage Cea Boom
Lunch - Afternoon Tea - Dinner
Small bridge parties accommodated
Attractive but not Expensive
4314 W. Tenth Ave.
Dunbar Pharmacy
Bay. 5««
W. R. Mawhonney       E. A. Cranston
17th Ave. ft Dunbar St.
Madame Marion
4603-10th Ave. W.
Ell. 1601
Sey. 7131
*———♦« ••♦•—W««*«g>
neatly done at
Phone: Bay. 8321L
after 6:00 p.m.
Tht Flnwt In C«n»d»—1» Chain
Special Attention to Varsity Students
Will Always
Help Your
SEY. 5476 SEY. 6404
A. Q. Spalding t Brot
424 Halting! St. W.
Auto Camp
And Boat
98c Each
Particularly comfortable
and very durable. Just the
cushion for outing, beach or
camp. Made in bright vari-
gated color leatherette that
does not crack easily and
filled with a splenuld sanitary filling.
Generous square shapes.
Each  98c.
K. E. Pittenon, B.A.
447».l«th AVE. WEST
Public Stenographer. Popular Landing Library
"Mali* a Goad Eiaar Batter"
The Varsity Tea Room 4605 10th
Ave. W. is open every day including
Sundays until 10 p.m. They serve a
good meal for 40c. Arrangements can
be made for two meals a day at $20
per month.
The food is excellent and all home
The new shirt.      In plain colors.
Collar attached, or with two separate
stiff collars.
Wonderful quality.    Wonderful price.
Turpin Bros. Ltd.
—The Vancouver Sun—
"Vancouver"s Home }{ewspapcr"
«50C ^s^'^ Phone Trinity
a Month ^s*5s 4XX1 THE UBYSSEY
March 24,1931
fttje Wbvmv
(Mambar of Paelflc Inter-Colleelate Prats Association)
Uauad a»arjr Tuaadajr and Friday by tha Studant Publications Board of tha
University of British Columbia, Watt Point Gray.
Phona, Point Gray til
Mail Subscriptions rate: 13 par yaar.   Advartlslng rates on application.
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF—Himla Koshavoy
Editorial Staff
Santor Editors: Bassla Robartson and Edgar Brown
Sport Editors  M. McGregor.
Aaaoeiata Editort: Margarat Craalman, Mairi Dingwall, Kay Murray and Nick Mussallem.
Sport Associates: Olive Selfe, G. Hamlin, W. Lee.
AsslsUnt Editort: Molllo Jordan, R. Harcourt, Art McKenzie and Cecil Brennan
Feature Editor: Bunny Pound Exchange Editor: Kay Murray
Literary Editor) Frances Lucas. Assistant Literary Editor: Michael Freeman
Cartoonist: W. lavender
News Manager: Himie Koshevoy
Reporters: Norman Hacking, Don Davidson, K. L. Malkin, Day Washington, B. Jackson,
J. I. MeDougaU, Kay Greenwood, Jeanne Butorac, J. Millar, St. John Madeley,
Edith Mcintosh, E. Costain, Eleanor Klllam, Jean McDlarmid, John Dauphinee.
,. Tom How, Jaan Jamieton, Berna Martin, Dorothy Thompson,
Anna Fulton. Sidney Aqua, Kay Crosby and E. N. Akerley
Laurel Rowntree, E. H. King, N. Nemetz
Business Staff
Business Manager: John W. Fox
Advertising Manager: Jock Turvey. Circulation Manager: Reg. Price.
Advartlslng Assistants: A. C. Lake and A. Kennedy
Business Assistants: Alf Allen, C. Cole. M. Alexander and J. Bardsley
M, Millar, J, Cox, Phil Parker.
Senior; Bessie Robertson
Associates: Kay Murray, Margaret Creelman, Bunny Pound.
Assistants: Bob Harcourt, Art. McKensle
Sport Editor: M. McGregor. Sport Associate: Olive Selfe
Pie-eaters: F. Lucas, R. Grantham, E. Brown, N. Mussallem.
With this issue the "Ubyssey" brings to a close one of the
most turbulent years of publication that the paper has passed
through. The first term was fairly calm and the stadium project
backed by Council and Grantham loomed large in the eyes of the
students. And then apparently in the second term with the size of
the paper increased the "Ubyssey's troubles did likewise. Knightly
Council got on its high horse, and with portentous and ponderous
words and bated breath for fear of dire results, dismissed the
editor of the "Ubyssey" for his alleged lack of tact. As usual feeling ran high in the ranks of those called students, but nothing, in
fact absolutely nothing, was done about it.
We look on the student body with our editorial eyes filled with
a mist of tears for the gullibility they showed in being fooled by
the threatened resignations of the people who reside in Auditorium 805. Council is sincere. There is no doubt of that. But as
the old bromide goes "Heaven preserve us from our friends."
The various clashes with authority have been ironed out, we
have been informed, and so for the next year we hope for the best.
If any more attempts are made by anybody to tamper in some unjustified instance with the "Ubyssey" it may as well be known now
that the "Pub." always presents a united front to its attackers.
There is no need to give a review of the outstanding incidents
of the year since they remain freshly in the minds of the undergraduates as incidents to their own detriment.
In conclusion we give thanks to the supporters of the "Ubyssey," and will say no more this year concerning governments,
Councils, limitation, and what have you.
Fly Swatters Desire to Rise
Editor, 'Ubyssey'
Dear Sirs-
Re the Badminton Clubs application to be
raised to a minor sport.
The class in which a sport Is placed is governed by:—
1. Its success in competition;
2. The interest shown in it.
The Badminton Club this winter has teams
entered in the second and third divisions of
the Vancouver k District League. At the end
of the first half Varsity was second in the
second division out of the eight entries. The
second half Is not yet completed.
There are only two teams entered In the
first division this year, these two being extremely Btrong. Of the eight players on one
of these teams three held Dominion championships.
It is probable that as a result of the Varsity Club's initiative there will be more entries in the first division and, if so, Varsity
will certainly be represented.
The interest shown in a sport is presumably measured by the number of players. The
badminton club has a membership of about
thirty men and forty women despite its fees
of $4.00 a season. Only one of the minor
Bports has a larger membership.
The practices of the club have been well
attended all winter. In the club tournament
there was an entry of over one hundred.
The soccer club is the only minor sport
which has a larger membership (counting men
only) and the swimming club the only ona
which  Is more successful.
In view of tha above facts, I think that
the application Is quite justified and should
be passed.
T. C. H0LME8.
Pres., Vanity Badminton Club,
Button, Button—
Whose Got The Button?
SporU Editor, 'Ubyssey'
Dear Sirs—
Having had my attention called to a rather
slanderous paragraph In your last "Sportorial," permit ma to give you a little advice.
While at a sports editor you may have achieved
a certain amount of popularity, at a column-
itt you lack both finesse and tact. I realise
that In supplying the basis of my naw collection of intimate trouser buttons you underwent a certain amount of embarrassment, yet
I feel that comment on the matter on tha
Sport page waa somewhat out of place. Far
batter It would have been for you to blush unseen.
Had tha accusation of theft come from any
other source I would have objected lest it be
Let ma warn you that tha continued mouthing ot erroneous statements will eventually
lead tha public to tha conclusion that you are
•ithar a crook or a liar. This, I am sure,
would be a false Impression.
Yours helpfully,
To whom it may concern. Notice
is hereby given that at the next general meeting of the Men's Athletic
Aaaoclation I shall apply to have the
status of grass hockey raised from
sub-minor to minor.
Sidney W. Semple,
Pres. Men's Grass Hockey Club.
From '33 to '31
We'd like to tell all the hopes we hold
Of the class who are dropping their
blue and gold
To don the black and gray and brown
Of a world that seems so tumble down.
We'd like to thank them for all they
To their Alma Mater above the wave
Of  the   blue  Pacific,   rvhere  hills   of
Take a golden shade in the morning
We'd like to ask them to keep the best
That our mother gave them; and, in
their quest,
That they never deposit the blue and
As a toy forgot in an attic cold!
Hail and farewell then, thirty-one
With our goal in sight and our victories won.
With Varsity colours. It's up to you I
G. H. C.
All Hail To
The Gold and Blue
The following song, of which both
the words and music were composed
by Jack Macdonald, Science '31, is
considered by many, and who are we
to call them liars, to be the finest
University song so far offered.
With loyal hearts and joyous voice,
We'll fight, we'll fight for old B.C.
Guiding   our  destinies  she  stands
in dauntless majesty,
In years to come she still will keep
A vigil so faithful and true.
May   heaven   bless   her   wondrous
All hail to the gold and blue.
Shoulder to shoulder,
Seadily we march along;
Raising the standard,
Cheerfully resounds our song.
Our Alma Mater
Prondlu telling of her fame,
All hail to British Columbia,
Thy sons and daughters shout thy
Sttt for 911
The final meeting of the Women's
Literary Forum will be held to-day
at noon for the purpose of electing
officers for the coming year.
Sin and Sentimentals
I now take pen, or rather typewriter, in hand to indite the last F.
& F. of the year. It is a heartrending
task, especially as they tell me there
will be no proof-reading on this edition, and all my touching sentiments
will come out cock-eyed. However,
this seems to be a habit of touching
sentiments, even when they are proofread most carefully—so here goes.
In the first place, I have had a
great deal of pleasure and amusement out of writing this column (!?!).
It ha$ $eldom $eemed $ub$idi$ed, and
the profit ha$ all come from valuable
experience, ala$. But I have heard
several remark that they will actually
subscribe to the "Ubyssey" next year
if there is no Fun & Fundamentals, so
who can say I have not materially assisted the circulation department?
I can also remark with modest
pride that I have been a material aid
to fellow-columnists at times when
they have not been able to wring any
brighter ideas from their minds -f-£tb
'/»!?&--. Even the correspondents'
corner has been benefitted by me; all
of six inches has been devoted to decrying me on various occasions. (Once
there was a letter saying that I waa
good, but the editor did not print it.
There haa been a coldness between us
ever since. In fact, that is why F. &
F. is what it is— I have set out on a
deliberate policy to smash the "Ubys-
Hey." Are you with me boys, or do I
stand alone?)
As I said before, writing F. & F.
has been a source of great joy and inspiration to me—in fact the inspiration has been a lil's too much, and the
wine of the Muse has gone to my head
—god ole Mushe!
Dot Dot Dot
(I put them in this way because
when I simply say ". . ." no one understands, and they are left out.)
It's a good idea, too. If there is
to be no proof-reading, you can't be
too careful, and I had better put all
the punctuation in that way, so as to
be sure of being understood.
A columnist apostrophe's greatest
difficulty is in being understood stop.
No matter whether he is humourous
comma iconoclastic comma constructive comma or just plain literary comma someone is sure to ask if it is supposed to be funny and if not why not
I see I am getting to the end of my
allotted space. Theywilleitherchange
thelatter. Youseehowwegeniusesareha
mpered, Imeanhowcanonebeexpectedto
ewillreadit.Wellannenow . . .
Dot        Dot Dot
I feel at this point that Fun and
Fundamentals has been going quite
long enough. And ao I close, in the
happy state of being thoroughly
agreed with by everyone for the first
time since I became a columnist.
•ajqjssod s« uoos bv
jpw A»%%a\ eu.1 uBnojtfy jpaq}|A\ u*»f
mjM tpnai u| %*B es«a{d pai(0jua uaaq
V>u 9A«q oum )nq aujpjno u; pe^saae)
-uj X(|«)|A 8JW oqm. 9\i\B Au« jo qnp
■W jo saaquiaui auiooeq o) u.b]m oum
■apjnQ hio UV 'pwinbM aq njM Apa%9
ou puv muoui « 3duo p|eq aq |||M
sSuitaaw 'BjvaA aJJaji03 J19M) wqanp
luatuaAOfl 4u|p)no sq) M)i* qono) uj
JJu)da9)( u; pa^saaa^uj aa« oqM sapfnQ
!J19 II* i0l andiuvo aq} uo pauuoi
lutaq   s;   qnjo   epjno   'O'H'fl   V
ueuio^y joj eairapmt)
LOST—At Basketball game, Saturday
night, Rayon Scarf; Red, Black, on
White ground.     —G. Kinkade '34.
Whit Folks It Thinking
Nick Mussallem: The reason
I am ao interested in making a
fool of myself ia to avoid giving
any woman the opportunity.
Don Hutchison: I'm no baaket-
ball player.
When I walked into that hall
I could feel the excitement gathering in the air.
(At noon).   If you came out
in the form as you are tonight.
I feel the leaat you can do is
rally round the Women'a Undergrad. Society.
Lukie: I went to bed early
this morning.
6th Annual
April 25 "' May 2
Again comes the call to "adventure." For that is what the S.C.M. does when it
goea camping. And this is the longest camp of the year—a week to adventure in
friendship, to adventure in thought, to adventure in religion. Our study this year
will be of various problems, problems that have puzzled the great minds of the world,
and which perplex us as students, yet which we must work out for ourselves. At Sunset Beach this spring students and leaders of every shade of opinion will share their
Ideas and experiences, striving together to reach a better understanding of the problems of the Modern World.
The Conference will be divided into six groups, for the study of different problems, as listed In the program. These will meet for two hours each morning. Then
in the evenings the whole camp will gather around the fireside for a general forum on
subjects relating to the theme of the camp. One evening will be devoted to a reading
and Interpretation of the play "The Green Pastures."
Ail the leadership has not been definitely settled, but will be announced as soon
as possible. Among those who have consented to come Is Dr, H. L. McNeil, the minister of Fairview Baptist Church of this city. He has been a real friend of the movement and well understands the student approach, having been a professor in Brandon
College, Manitoba.   He will lead the group on "Modern Religious Problems."
Dr. J. G. Brown, Principal of Union College will conduct the Btudy of the relation of Science and Religion.
A third group, which will be a preparation for our Pacific Area Conference to be
held June 16-21 at Bowen Island, will be helped in their study by Rev. K. Shlml7.11, of
the Japanese Church, who attended the Jasper Conference of 1929: Professor H. F.
Angus, head of the Department of Economics, and Mr. Stanley Brent of the Y.M.C.A.
Dr. C. W. Topping will be at Sunset for pnrt of the time. Those who were nt
spring Camp last April, look forward to his time at Camp with grout pleasure.
Agnln we will enjoy a few days with Dr. Hutchinson, our Honorary President.
Other leaders will be Mr. Ray Culver of the Y.M.C.A. in the University of Washington, a man who is very popular with those with whom he works. Also we nre
anticipating the presence of Rev. Bruce Gray, the Associate Pastor of First United
Church, Victoria.    He is a real live wire and has a splendid appeal for young people.
Then we hope Harry Avison our National Secretary will be able to be at the
Conference. He will be nt the Coast shortly and it is possible that he will be able to
stay for part at least of the week nt Sunset. Harry always puts his best into a Conference, and it Is always the better for his presence.
This year a new feature Is going to be worked into our program, namely 11
Series on Saints. This will take 'he form of hulf-an-hour spent with such perfect souls
as St. Francis of Asslsi, Brother Lawrence, und Thomas of Kempls, when we will try
to catch something of the beauty and poetry of their lives. Rev. G. H. Dowkcr, of
St. Philip's Anglican Church, is going to present some of these figures to us.
"Here at good old Sunset Bay, happy Is each camping day,
Oh, oh, oh, you cun  feel  It doing you good."
The lines quoted above are typical of the favorite camp songs. Talking about
songs, did It ever occur to you that camp is just the place where you can sing to your
heart's content. To such an extent does singing enter into our S.C.M. enmp life that
a definite period in each day'H program has been set aside for community singing.
Kvery evening, just at dusk, in the lull between supper and the evening discussion the
group gathers about the fire and sings the old favorites. But there is nothing stng-
nant about the S.C.M. ao under the directorship of our capable song leaders we learn
new tunes and verses. By the end of the week everyone has hud an opportunity to
collect, an extensive repertoire of sonirs. These evening song periods include nil varieties
commencing with the more exultant but gradually changing to tho more subdued, of
which negro spirituals prove to bo favorites, thus creating the tone desirable for religious and cultural discussion.
The freedom and joy of enmp arouse the desire to sing and all during the day the
bay echoes with the voices of hikers, boaters and relief squads ; while rounds are the
order of the day whenever two or three nre together. Those Intending to come to
camp are nsked to bring song sheets and books and  musical  instruments.
Come to camp and help us make songs ns well as sing them.
1. Problems of Industrial Organization.
2. Problems of International Co-operation  (specializing on a study of
3. Problems  of the  Pacific—a preparation   for  the projected  Pacific
Area Conference.    Mr. Stanley Brent; Rev. K. Shimlzu.
4. Problems of the Relations of Science and Religion.   Dr. J. G, Brown.
5. Modern Religious Problems.   Dr. H. L. McNeill.
6. A Problem of Christianity—the place of Jesus In the Modern World.
April 25,    Opening Address -Christianity and Modern Problems,
April 26.   An evening with "The Green Pastures."
April 27.    Christianity as  the  Psychologist Sees It.
April 28.    Christianity and internationalism.
April 29.    A Religion of Jesus, Not About Jesus.
April 30.    The Student Christian Movement.
May       1.    Reports of Groups.
Rising bell  7:00 a.m.
Worship service  7 :4S a.m.
Breakfast   8:00 a.m.
Series on Saints 10:00 a.m.
Study Groups 10:30 a.m.
Lunch          12:00 noon.
Afternoons—Free  (Sports).
Supper      6:00 p.m.
9lng-Song 7:30 p.m.
Forum 8 :00 p.m.
April 2ft to May 2.
$8.00, including registration fee of BOc. and transportation.
la)    Saturday, April 2Sth, by launch.    1:30 p.m.
(hi Any other day, by bus from Pacific Stages, North Vancouver, (at
the ferry), at 9:20 a.m., to Horseshoe Bay, thence by launch to
Sunset  Bench.
Blankets, bathing suits, cameras, fishing tackle, strong hiking clothes,
hiking   shoes,   musical   instruments,   books,   song-books,   plates    (cup,
saucer, dinner plate), cutlery  (knife, fork, spoon), etc.
Katharine Hockin, Eric Kelly, Mary Sadler, Fred Jakeway.
Idele Wilson, Pat Cowan.
Sunset Beach, nestling at the foot of snow-capped mountains, is about an hour's
delightful sail from Vancouver. It lies on the east shore of Howe Sound, and looks
across to tha thickly-wooded slopes of Bowen and Gambler Islands, with the circlet of
Treasure Island In the foreground.
From the water one may see several falls, glancing over sheer rock or running
tumultously to the bay. Against the darker evergreen the red tints of the arbutus
and the filmy white of tha dogwood bloom stand out In sharp contrast. As dusk falls
the glowing colors of the sunset reflected In the untroubled waters bring a hush, a
realization of peace, and the comradeship of friendly faces, lit by friendly hearts and
the flickering light of the fire.   Who would not go "adventuring" at Sunset Beach?
Besides the provocative discussions and Interesting study groups, sports will add
to the enjoyment of Camp. Sunset Beach is ideally situated to enable us to engage in
many forms of outdoor exercise. Swimming, boating and fishing are all possible, with
a float at the landing and a half dozen or so row boats, available to all without charge
to the campers. A couple of the walks are delightful—along forest paths laden with
the fresh perfumes from the fir and cedar trees, while the mountains, north of the
Lions, tempt the ambltlouB hiker.
Competitive games such as horse shoes, tennis and baseball will be arranged between the various groups. A sports day, which is becoming a camp tradition, will be
held In which one and all will participate. Novel events such as ladles log-sawing
contests and obstacle races will add humor to the day. The sports at Camp help to
make it one grand, memorable holiday.
Mrs. Alex. Gibb has consented to come to a second Spring Camp. She is a delightful person and in her year In Vancouver ia making herself the S.C.M. "mother."
In addition to looking after us she will do much of the song leading. It Is a treat to
meet Mrs. Gibb.
A competent cook will be engaged for the week, who will enable the rest of us
to spend less of our conference time in mundane chorlng (which Is by the way one of
the joys of camp).
Further particulars will be posted. The registration fee until April 13 will be
BOc.    After that It will be 7Bc.
Please mark your choice for study for Study Groups (1, 2, 3) on the Group Registration coupon.
On the Registration Coupon please place an X opposite the statement which suits
your case.
Send both coupons through Campus mall to Camp Secretary, S.C.M., Auditorium
My choices for study are:
Problems of Industrial Organization.
Problems of International Co-operation.
Problems of the Pacific.
Problems of the Relations of Science and Religion.
Modern Religious Problems.
A Problem of Christianity.
When Camp is over and the studentB have dispersed to their varied summer tnsks,
many will be the memories that nre treasured, memories of hikes, of stimulating discussions, of sing songs, of true friends. But that will not be all. For the Worship
Services of Camp are of lasting Influence, experiences which leave an indelible impression on those who share In the uplift of group worship.
Each morning those who so desire gnthcr In a quiet place, nnd under the lender-
ship of n fellow-student strive to grasp something of that reality, which Is God.
There, on the bench with tho mist "Ising from sen and mountains, with the awakening of nature, the student catches a glimpse of those values which arc eternnl.
Plensc register  me for the S.C.M. Spring Camp for which  I  enclose  registration
fee of c.
I expect to attend Camp but do not wish to register at present.
I expect to attend Camp on the following dates :
Phone AfUMNI    ULEOliO'i
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