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The Ubyssey Mar 18, 1932

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Issued Twice Weekly by the Students' Publications Board of The University of British Columbia
——■—-—- '■       " "-    ■     "'    ---Tr-STm-mm-m--*-      i,i. aii.     .m i.-l    i. ...         .      .'.. Ufi.   ■i-.—^i ■■.■>.    ....       ■     .    a t. _■■    n.
No. 40
Electioneering Closes
As Students Register
Choice Of Councillors
Two close contests and one record- |   Bob Harcourt  480
breaking majority featured the Coun- [Junior Member
eti election* held last Tuesday. The
foUowing i* the complete Council for
the coming session. President, W.
Whimster; M.U.S., Vic Rogers; W.U.-
S., Dorothy Thompson; M.A.A., Tony
Osborne; W.A.A., Ruth Witbeck;
Secretary, Rosemary Winslow,' Treasurer, Mark Collins; Junior Member,
MUt Owen; L.S.E., NeU Perry.
The closeness of the count for both
the M.U.S., where Vic Rogers noted
out Ken CampbeU by three votes,
and the W.A.A. In which Ruth Witbeck won by a men five baUota, waa
a revelation to those who thought
the elections would be a walk-away
Rosemary Winslow scored the largest majority when ahe registered 008
to her opponent's 258. This came as a
considerable surprise to many, judging from comments heard in the caf.,
for it wa* thought that this contest
Would be one of the closest.
Another «urprise packet that the
student* left at the polls was the election of Dorothy Thompson by such
S large majority. For the last three
yean it hat been small majorities
that have placed a woman on CouncU as president of the Women's Undergraduate Society. Majorities of
two, and three have not been uncommon in the history of this position.
A alight upset in the dope of the
election prognosticators was the election of Milt Owen «o the Junior
Member'* berth on CouncU. Most of
the boys had the Sciencemen figured
for a winner, but it seems as if they
didn't all vote that way.
When it came to counting the ballots for the L.S.E. considerable
trouble had to be gone to, as it was
fourth choices that were being counted before a majority had been obtained. Many of these ballots were
'bulletted for one candidate.
Fifty-eight percent of the students
trecked to the polls to register their
choice. The largest poU was for Jun-
Ir Member where 1169 votes were
cast. Last year's poll was 1154.
Rosemary Winslow  908
LiUlan Scott 252
L. S. E.
Neil  Perry    589
Study Camp Planned
At Gambier
Immediately after the close of the
Spring Term, the Students' Christian
Movement will once mora hold their
annual Spring Camp, this year in
the beautiful surroundings of Camp
Flrcom on the east side of Gambler
This year the theme of the camp
will be "Toward a New World Community." In the study groups and
forums the members will discuss the
various phases of the subject, and
by an interchange of opinions gain
a better understanding of the Latin
motto,  "Ut omnes unum sint."
In the morning for two hours the
students break up and gather in little groups on the beach or in the
woods. The following problems will
be discussed: Jesus and the Records;
International Relations; Social Principles of Jesus; Buffalo Continuation.
In the evening the whole camp
will gather round the fireside to
discuss the world community from
the point of view of culture, organized Christianity. Jesus, the Mouve-
ment, Economics, and the Historical
Among the loaders who will preside at thc camp ate: Mr. Tonkin,
Dr. Carrothei-M Miss Bollert, Dr.
Hutchinson and Mr. Perley. Miss
Gertrude Ru'lierford. the National
Secretary of the S C. M„ and Miss
Owen, nf tin- British Mouvement, are
also  expected.
Sing-sones nrr also to be a feature,
led by Mrs. Gibbs, Camp Mother.
Sports and such outdoor exercises
as swimmine hiking, boating and
fishing will  tie  in  order.
Each morning those who so desire
Will gather together in a quiet place.
and under the leadership of a fellow-student, strive to grasp something of the reality which is God in
a special Worship Service.
Registration for attendance
Camp Flrcom will take place in
Auditorium 312. The cost for the
week wil be $7, including transportation. Registration fees are 50c up till
April 16, and 75c afterwards.
Milt Owen  848
Clan Donaldson ....y 523
M. U. S.
Vic Roger*  .244
Ken CampbeU 241
W A A.
Ruth Witbeck  2M
Mary McLean JHU
W. U. St
Dorothy Thompson  887
Emma Wilson —..J94
President W.A.A.
Ruth Witbeck will guide the destinies of the W.A.A. during the coming year. All tennis enthusiasts on the
campus have teen her performing on
the courts and her wide interests
should make her an impartial and able
chairman of women's athletic board.
Actors Undaunted
By Bad Times
Says Riske
Plans for the Players' Club annual
tour are nearing completion as ten
contracts have been signed. The performances already arranged for are
Victoria, Duncan, QuaUcum Beach,
Powell   River,    Courtenay,    Salmon
Arm, Vernon, Summerland, and Nelson and Trail.
Armstrong, Revelstoke, Kamloops,
Grand Forks and Penticton are still
not definitely arranged for, although
plans are almost complete for the
club's appearance in these towns.
Sydney Risk, director of the play,
says that approximately one hundred
and fifty dollars a week will be saved
by the smaller cast
Considerable budget savings were
effected by efficient management,
states Archie Dick, business manager.
Fifty dollars were saved on the costumes budget, while a similar amount
was saved on scenery.   Property ex-
Pretident A.M.S.
Culminating a long line of conscientious work in connection with student activities, Bill Whimster wiU
occupy the chair at meetings of the
newly elected student executive for
next year. Whimster wiU have the
two-fold advantage of a year's experience gained with thc past Council
and the able assistance of a popular
and efficient body of members in his
next year's body of student representatives.
Junior Member
Indian Self - Rule
Certain to Come
Says Lawrence
"There is one thing I want all you
ladles and gentlemen here to remember, and that is that the British
people are determined that the people
of India shall govern themselves," is
the gist of an address on "A Historical Survey of India" by Sir Henry,
Lawrence, K.C.S.I., in Arts 100, Wednesday noon.
Sir Henry traced the development
of autonomy in Indian governments,
through various stages till finally native Indians sit on the cabinets of
aU the provincial legislatures. Certain phases, however, of administration are kept for Englishmen, who
are responsible to the British parliament alone.
He maintained that England has
always intended to grant full self-
government to the Indian empire,
and that the institution of this policy
has been going on for the last hundred years.
The admission of Indian members
to provincial cabinets, however did
not meet with the complete approval
of the extremists of Indian politics
and considerable agitation started.
The extremists first attempted tojgaln
control by a boycott of certain "governmental functions. This was carried on for three yean, and finaUy
discarded as a failure.
The left-wing advocates then decided to create chaos from inside,
by using the men on the cabinets to
attempt to tie the government's hands.
Much trouble was caused by this
means but the success of this measure from their point of view was
The appointment of the Simon
Commission raised the hopes of the
extremists. The members of the commission came from all the poUtical
parties of Great Britain and the deliberations of the investigators lasted two years. The unamimous report
of the commissioners was that complete autonomy in all matters should
be eventually granted, but that the
time was not yet ripe for such drastic change in the condition of affairs.
St: John Madeley was appointed Editor-in-Chief of the Ubyssey following
the recommendation of the retiring
Editor at the last. Council meeting: He
has been handling the position of
News Manager during the past year,
and brings years of experiencce to his
Lack of Confidence
Resolution Debated
By Senate Wednesday
Conflicting Motions Cleared Up) Joint Meet-,
ing of Senate and Board To Be Called Soon
Rumour has it that the Senate discussed a motion o! non-
confidence in President Klinck for three hours, Wednesday
night. The resolution was tabled and the meeting adjourned
at an early hour Thursday morning. litis information, though
not official, comes from a reliable source.
Two resolutions were passed at the meeting. One stated
that Senate, when approving the suggestions of the Governors
re allocation of fees and grant, had meant that there should be
only two faculties, not three. The Board of Governors, at their
last meeting Saturday night, were of the opinion that there
was a conflict between the first two resolutions of the Special
Committee of Senate.
President W.U.S.
Council Names
News Manager
For New Editor
At the last regular meeting of Students' Council on Tuesday night, Wilfred Lee. present Editor in-Chief of
the Publications Board, recommended
that St. John Madeley flU that posi
tion for tlie session of 1932 33. This
recommendation as well as a list of
awards for members of the Ubyssey
staff was accepted. Gold pins will be
awarded to the Editor-in-Chief; the!
two Senior Editors, Frances Lucas and
Mairi Dingwall; to the Business Manager, and the News Manager.
Dorothy Myers submitted a minute
from the joint meeting of eight sororities held Tuesday afternoon. The
minute recorded their recoemmenda-
tions to Students' Council that 1. Use
of paid or professional advertising be
forbidden in campus election, and 2.
that block voting or any interferences
with student franchise be forbidden.
Council passed a motion to this effect.
The real business of the evening concerned the consideration of a proposed revision of the constitution of
the Alma Mater Society, submitted by
William Whimster. One interesting
change, brought about by the increased size of the present student body
over that of Fairview days was to the
effect that "A special meeting of the
Alma Mater Society may be called at
once by the President of the A.M.S.
on request of Students' Council, or
on the written request of one hundred
members of the A.M.S." As the constitution reads at present, any twenty
students may call an Alma Mater
A further clause, of interest to fraternities reads In its revised form:
"AU organizations under jurisdiction
of the A.M.S. wishing to hold any
major functions shall secure permission
of Students' CouncU. This shall be understood to Include fraternities and
sororities."All fraternity and sorority
plans for dances would thus be subject to Council's ratification.
The constitution is outlined in three
"schedules" or divisions. Schedule "C"
deals solely with the workings of the
internal organization of the Alma
Mater Society. The revised constitution recommends that it be permissible
Dorothy Thompson who has earned
the right to act as official hostess for
the students of the University through
her election to the position of President of the Women's Undergraduate
Society lust Tuesday. Her experience
as Assistant on the Totem staff and
Literary representative of her class
combined with her outstanding personality were recognized in tlie substantial majority which she obtained
over her nearest competitor.
Graduating Class
Elects Officers
Don Morgan was elected by acclamation as Permanent President of
the Class of '32 at the final meeting
of that class's career, Thursday noon
in Arts 100. Mr. H. E. Angus retained his post as Honorary President.
Other   appointments   were:   Dorothy
President M.U.S.
The investigators stated that a gra-! for Students' Council, as well as the
dual change should be effected till
the complete self-government so
sought after was achieved. The left-
wing faction was still not. satisfied,
nnri hoped that Lord Irwin, Viceroy
of India, when he gave his approval,
would advocate more sweeping
changes. This hope however was not
"The round table conferences have
Milt Owen succeeds to the position
of Junior Member after defeating
at! Clare Donaldson in the recent, elections. His experience as treasurer and
president of his class during his first
two years should prove a valuable
asset when he assumes his duties next
penditure was seventy-five dollars below the estimated amount.
Effects of the depression and the
galaxy of theatrical companies that
have invaded Vancouver during the
past few months, were felt in the seat
sale which dropped some eight hundred and fifty dollars from last year's
figure. Despite this, however, the club
hopes to end up the year with a surplus after the Christmas play expenditures have been met
A.M.S., to amend the constitution covered by Schedule "C." provided that
Council's decision to do so is a unanimous one. It is fell, that such a
power makes il possible to delete
"dead loiter" clauses from the constitution without direct appeal to the
done much to clarify the atmosphere,
and   T   have   much   confidence   that
Mr. Ghandi, being a very aslule politician, will, as soon as he realizes that
what   he    wan Is    is    incapable   of   a
ehievemrnt    ceme   round   to  our   way
of  thinking  and   allow  the   establish
menl  of  Indian  Empire  Self-Government by slow  moving stages," stated
the speaker.  He went on  to expla n
how  committees  from   the  last  conference were working on  the establishment  of  a  system  of  adult  mi''
frage for the country.
The first of these resolution* stated
that the Senate endorsed the Board's
view concerning the allocation of
fees and tho government grant, and
the second requested the re-organiz-
atlon of Agriculture as a department
of Applied Science.
The Board made no decision on
this point at their Saturday meeting,
preferring to wait until they had a
definite ruling trom Senate on what
they had meant by the two motions.
The other resolution passed by
Senate called for a joint meeting of
the Board and Senate at the earliest
possible date. This Is not to be a
meeting of the co-ordinating committee but a full, joint meeting of
the two bodies.
Estimates for the 1932-33 expenditures,_as .compiled by the President
and submitted to the Board of Governors Saturday, were as foUows:
Arts and Science, $183,025, a reduction of $92,834 from this year's ap-
proporiation; Applied Science, $79,860,
a reduction of $8,840; and Agriculture, $36,150, a reduction of $64,701.33.
When the Board of Governors
meets Monday, all these estimates
will have to be scrapped unless they
fly in the face of Senate's decision,
for they are based on three faculties, and Senate has taken a definite
stand on two faculties and two faculties only.
The President's estimates of registration was also submitted. The
estimate was based on a reduction
in the total registration figure of
16.47 per cent. Detailed figures follow:
Arts and Science, 1175, 17.86 per
cent reduction; Applied Science, 303,
6.47 per cent reduction; Agriculture,
46, 11.31 per cent reduction; Graduates, 85, 7.61 per cent reduction;
Teacher Training, 60, 40.31 per cent
reduction. Total, 1669, 16.47 per cent
Both this estimate of registration
and the tentative budget were based
on the assumption that there will
be no Increase in fees next session.
The reduced budget entails a considerable number of faculty and staff
dismissals, and a salary cut for those
that remain.
With This Issue, The Ubyssey Suspends
Publication for the Session 1931-1932.
Vic Rogers squeezed out a small ma-
."oi if v over Ken Campbell in the M:
L'S elections this year. He has been
prominent on the campus as president
of .the Science Men's Undergraduate
Society, and as a member of the McKechnie Cup rugby team for the past
three years.
Myers, vice president; Pat Harvey,
secretary; Ken Beckett, treasurer;
Jean Cameron, Valedictorian. The
committee of three consisted ot Don
Smith, AUstair Taylor and Dutchy
The program for Graduation Week
includes Private Picnics and class
exercises  as   follows:
April 30—Private picnics.
May 1 -Baccic Service 7:30 p.m. In
Can.   Mem.   Chapel    Sixteenth   Ave.
May 2- Graduate banquet and ball
at   the  fPR    Hole!    7.00  p.m.
May 2 (" '■■ day exercises, 2:30
p.m.  in  the   Audiii-ibim.
May  'I    Left   open.
May 5-Mccl in lib ary cloakroom,
?,:\5   p.m.     Cmivnealani   ,'1:00  o.m
The new Parnnineni President extended bis (banks I i I hose women
who had Hi'iml nnt "one Friday
morniiu; in fMiruaiy" to help the
A committee under the leadership
of Kenneth Beckett had been attending In finances since the resignation of Mr. Turner early in the
term, and this committee had discovered that unless all members of
the class paid their fees, there would
remain approximately $37.50 for a
valedictory gift. This situation should
be remedied, remarked the temporary treasurer.
On account of the treasurer's re-
(Please turn to Page Five) Page Two
Friday, March 18,1932
Slip ttbpapy
(Member P.I.P.A.) Phone: PT. QRIY 128
Issued every Tuesday and Friday by the Student
Publication Board of the University of British Columbia,
West Point Grey
Mail Subscription rate: S3 per year
Advertising rates on appUcatlon,
Senior Editor for Friday: Frances Lucas
Senior Editor for Tuesday: Malrl DingwaU
Literary Edlton Mollle Jordan*
Sport Editor: Gordon Root.      Feature BfllroV: Tom How
News Manager: St John Madeley
Associate Editors: MoUle Jordan, Norman Racking,
Day Washington.
Exchange Editor: J. Stanton
Assistant Editors: a Harcourt, Margaret Little, A. Thompson, S. Keate, Guy Palmar, J. Stanton.
Cartoonist: W. Tavender Columnist: R. Grantham
REPORTORIAL STAFF    m    ,_     „
Pat Kerr, A. White, W. Cameron, Kay Crosby, Betty
Gourre, Virginia Cummings, Kay Greenwood, J. MUler,
Agnea Davie*, Kay Macrae, Mary Cook, Cec. Hacker
Business Manager: Reg. Price
Advertising: N. Nemets Circulation: M. MUler
Business Assistants: S. Lipaon, J. Benson, B. GlUies,
K. Barclay, A. Wood.
FRIDAY, MARCH 18, 1932
Suppressed information, inter-faculty feuds,
personal malice, and now a tabled motion of
non-confidence in the president—this is the
way the University of British Columbia is
The students have been told that teaching
is the primary function of the University, they
are therefore entitled to consider that their
own interests are the most Important. Yet it
is quite apparent that student welfare is being
totally disregarded while various factions of
the authorities squabble among themselves
and look for weaknesses in their opponents'
armor entirely regardless of the main points at
It would require a super-mind to disentangle the conflicting stories and diametrically
opposed versions of alleged facts and lay the
blame for the deplorable situation on any definite person or group. As far as the students
are concerned, however, the Governors have
the final say in determining administrative policy and the Governors therefore are responsible for the smooth working of the institution.
It follows logically that the students have justifiable grounds on which to criticise the
Student representatives have endeavoured
to cooperate with the authorities, they have
tried to keep the disgraceful lack of harmony
within the University from reaching the general public. This effort has either met with
indifferent civility or direct opposition. If
appeal to the authorities is of no avail, what
can students do but let the world know that
they are not getting a square deal?
What the students want and what they
have every right to demand is a definite policy
or a new Board of Governors.
Issue number forty, the last of the fourteenth volume of The Ubyssey, is off the press
and another Pub. Board staff joins the shadowy ranks of forgotten predecessors.
It has become a tradition for the final issue
of the Ubyssey to be a trifle extraordinary.
This eccentricity has taken various forms
reaching an extreme last year when the Muck
page graced the initial sheet and much of the
type appeared vertically instead of horizontally. The idea behind an unusual concluding
issue is that it shall be an expression of relief
from a sorely harassed editorial board, a final
fling before they sink the memories of journalistic joy and trouble in a frantic effort to repair
the deficiencies in curricula work caused by
devotion to duty on the paper. The present
"Lunyssey" insert.
We, the retiring editorial staff, believe that
we have received the co-operation of the student body to a greater degree than many of
our predecessors. We regret the omissions and
errors that have occurred in the paper and
thank readers for their tolerance. If there be
any truth in the statement that "what the
Ubyssey thinks today the student body thinks
tomorrow," we trust that unworthy thoughts
have not been prevalent on the campus during
the session of 1931 to 1932.
Thousands now studying may never pass.
* *   *
No one will deny that the final issue has the
last say.
»   *   *
Now that the elections are over, perhaps
a few of the local sign painters are wondering
whom they should favour with a bill.
*     *     *
The annual battle between Spring and the
Examinations is now being fought. International disarmament conferences  please  take
* *   *
Professor Sedgewick once put the philosophy of the Muck Editors in a few words—"It
would be an awful world if it were not for a
little wickedness."
* *   *
We can't think of any more editorial
"fillers" and why should we?
(AP) comes out with hot new from New
York. Tall, heavy, strong and good-looking—
that is the description of "brainy children" according to Dr. Leta S. Hollings-
The Science worth, professor of psychology
Racket at Teachers' College, Columbia
University.   She observed fifty-
six gifted children in 1922.
Just why these astounding conclusions are
presented after ten years as a news item is not
quite clear. However, it is announced that
gifted adolescents are made to the above
specifications, also that they are superior in
character and athletic ability.
Well, there must be something in it, because
both the Muck editor and I are tall. Short people need not be downhearted, however. The
news item was written ln popular form, and
should be taken with a grain of salt. Some
psychologists have held that there is a correspondence between beauty and brains, but I
hardly think one can be as dogmatic about it
as Dr. Hollingsworth is represented as being.
Which moves me to remark that Science has
been exalted by this age to a too sacred position in human life. Experiment, analysis, classification—these are the important things. The
word "intuition" will probably die out of the
language. The great value of all this scientific
activity cannot be denied. It is amusing, however, to behold the tremendous energy with
which investigators prove many things that
are either not worth such exhaustive proof or
were obvious anyway. Amusing also are the
gospels of this and that scientist that are "popularized" for the people in the press from time
to time.
Things have come to such a pass that any
clever crank can command a respectful hearing by publishing his theories in "scientific"
form, with appropriate "statistics," tables,
graphs, and experimental results. Sound scholars are not impressed, but the masses harken
reverentially to the voice of Science. Other
than the Fundamentalists, no one has the
nerve to rise upon occasion and say "piffle"
loudly, firmly, and, if necessary, rudely.
e   e   e
A reader sends me an extract from the
"Church Times" of London, England, in which
Reginald Tribe, M.R.C.S., L.R.C.P., B.A., M.C.,
gives impressions of a visit last
Impressions fall to British Columbia. He speaks
admiringly of Vancouver's setting,
buildings,a nd future, but adds: "It is a get-
rich-quickly kind of place, and its corporate
mentality is very much determined by that fact.
Sport and the enjoyment of the magnificent
scenery are practically the only interests outside business. The result is a sad absence of
traditions and of cultural interests. Now that
the world depression has touched the city, it
really does not know quite what to make of
itself or of the world." One citizen complained
of the lack of leadership. Mr. Tribe found a real
communal spirit on Vancouver Island.
• o   e
Another reader sends along a clipping about
a postman who took such pride in keeping his
forty-four mile route spic and span that he
painted all the mail-boxes at his
The Right own expense. My correspondent
Idea remarks that one's creed too often
contains only one doctrine—"as
little as possible for as much as possible." One
eventually finds that this does not pay in the
end—"sharp bargaining is dull business." Surveying world conditions today, I would say
that this is obvious. It remains to be seen
whether the lesson will be heeded.
* e    e
The writer of this column, desiring a touch
of the unusual, in "Pipe and Pen" today, without hesitation  invited  me  to "come  across"
from the Feature page, and I
in turn have requested his
presence in "Crumbs." After
reading this you can turn to
the Feature section and you should find him
there. But read this first.
To provide the unusual I must be either
more serious than a sorority girl taking a
pledge or more flippant than Mrs. Winchell's
little Walter. Both are impossible, thank
But what can the unusual be. Does Grantham want me to bury myself deep in thought?
Should I give my opinions of the C.O.T.C?
Should I tell a joke? It is beyond me. Perhaps
he wants me to say something about "Pipe and
Pen"? That would be unusual. Maybe he
wants me to give my ideas on the origin of
the word "Okay"?
No, it must be something uncommon. Something that has never appeared in "Pipe and
Pen" before. Ah! I have it. A vile pun! Well,
here goes:
"Alumni to take off your  coat.   I always
schedule make a success."
*    *    •
Here endeth "Pipe and Pen." I hope you
have enjoyed reading it as much as
Amen      I have enjoyed writing it.
Be Polite
To Our Guest
Class and Club
The last meeting of L'Alouette
was held Tuesday, March IS, at the
home of Miss Florence Nelson.
The program Included several
scenes from Mollere's plays and songs
by Miss Ruth Heighten and Miss
Alice Rowe. Those taking part in
the play were Miss Ruth Heighten,
Miss Jeanne MarshaU, Miss Margaret
Mclvor, Miss Margaret Rathle, Miss
Audrey Reid, Miss Bessie Riley, Miss
Bessie Sadler-Brown, Miss Carol
Sellars, Mr. Don Fisher and Mr. Jack
Officers for 1932-33 are Miss Margaret Mclvor, president; Miss Audrey
Reil, vice-president; Min AUce Rowe,
secretary; Mia* Jeanne MarshaU,
treasurer; and Mia* Dorothy McLel-
len, reporter.
Date—Tuesday, March 28.
Place—Ap. Sc. 103.
Speaker—Professor H. F. O. Let-
Subject-'The Life and Work of the
Mechanical Engineer."
A meeting of the Women'* Grass
Hockey Club wiU be held Friday at
12:15 p.m. In Arts 103, for the election of officer*. Hockey equipment
must be returned Monday noon at
the gym.
The last meeting of the club for
the year wUl take place at the home
of Mia* Helen Fairley, 2875 West
Twtnty-ninw Avenue, on Tuesday
evening, March 22 at 8:15 p.m. The
subject of the address wiU be announced later through the letter-
rack. A fuU attendance is requested
a* the election of officer* for next
year will be held, (lake the Mac-
Donald atreet bus).
Application for membership in the
Classic* Club have been accepted
from the foUowing: Margaret Reid,
Eleanor Leach, Wlnnlfred Johnson,
Margaret Clark, Jean Henderson,
Vera Little, Isobel Lauder, Annie En-
•or, Winifred Alston and AUce Roberta.
Nominations for executive position*
in the Junior Year should be handed
in to LUllan Scott, by Thursday
March 24. A meeting will be held
at 12:10 of that day.
The club will meet at the home of
Miss Helen Barr, Suite 301, 1298 W.
10th, on Friday at 8 p.m. Dr. Carrothers will speak.
Prospective new members should
send their applications to the Secretary, Mia* Frances Quail, Arts Letter
The final meeting of the Women's
Gym. Club will be held today at 12:15
in Arts 105. As the elections of officers wiU take place, a full turnout
is requested.
The foUowing should be of interest
to members of the Corps who wiah to
take up competition rifle shooting as
a hobby.
Blair Range, North Vancouver wiU
be open for use by members of the
Corps, a* weU as Vancouver Garrison units, commencing Saturday,
AprU 9th, and shoots wiU be conducted on each Saturday thereafter.
The purpose of these shoots is to
give practice to the young end old
shot alike. It is here that the tyro
gets an opportunity to rub shoulder*
with the older shot, and learns the
finer points of the game. The outcome
of these Saturday matches Is that fin
ally, teams are selected composed of
Individuals who have made the best
These men represent their units in
the Provincial Competitions which
take place on Vancouver Island from
July 12th to July 16th, inclusive. It
is at this Provincial Meet that teams
are chosen to attend the Ottawa Meet,
held from August 8th to August 13th
inclusive, the young shot having as
much opportunity as anybody else
for, as weU as others, at least, 5 young
shots are selected each year. But the
biggest moment, perhaps, in the Ufe
of the young shot, Is to be among the
twenty highest at Ottawa, these twenty rifle shots represent • the whole of
Canada, and proceed to Bisley, England, the following year, where, in
the past the Canadian Bisley Team
has always made a creditable showing.
Members of the Corps who wish to
know more about these matches would
do weU to report to the C.O:T:C. Orderly Room, at their earliest convenience.
Students from Maritime Universities have combined to form a model
League of Nations Assembly. The
Assembly wUl be an annual affair,
and each league member wUl be
represented by a student delegate.
The range of discussion wttl cover
th* whole field of international ac-
Mild, yet satisfying
Blended Right J
Those members of the Senior classes
who Intend to attend the Graduation
Banquet and BaU together wUl place
then* names in the box provided for
that purpose in the Arts Building.
Tha box wUl be there from March
21-29 and the remainder wtil be drawn
together in the usual manner. Result*
wiU be posted on the Quad notice
board on AprU 1. This function Is for
seniors only.
What People Ought
To Be Saying
Mahatma Gandhi: Where'* my
Earl Vance:   Quorum I?
Ralph Moore: Would anybody Uke
a lift? •
Chem. store-keeper: This solution
contains sUver potassium and chloride.
Prof. Day: I don't Intend to flunk
Cec. Long: Thanks for the pubUc-
Ron Grantham: I'd Uke to be muck
Wilf Lee:   It is the end.
Tom How: Not another pun this
Kay Crosby:   Get off my lap.
Mairi DingwaU: I'm going to bed
early tonight.
tivity. Special problems for thia
month'* meeting are "Revision for
Treaty of VersaUlea" and "Cessation
of Hostilities in China."
Studenta down east seem to be
wide awake in contrast to their
western neighbor*.
Expert Tire and Battery
University Gates, Ell 1201
Written With ABC*
-Simple, Rapid, Accurate-
It stands the teet of everyday use
and serves aU purposes belter.
Individual instruction in all
business subjects
Secretarial School
535 W. Georgia Trin. 6512
Forest Products Lab;   P.O. 1161
First-year Subjects end German
Western Tutorial School
422 Richards Si E1L HUB
Mark this importune milesone
with a permanent record —
You will want the best that
money can buy, so make your
appointments early with
I  833 Gran
Granville Street
r. 5737   I
University Book Store
Hours: 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Saturdays, 9 a.m. to 1 p.m.
Loose-Leaf Note Books, Exercise Books and Scribblers
at Reduced Prices
Graphic and Engineering Paper, Biology Paper.
Loose-Leaf Refills, Fountain Pens and Ink.
Pencil and Drawing Instruments.
Crepe Paper for Masquerades, etc.
Cecilia Lung
Essondale Supers
By Fifteen To Nut
Bouncing a ball entirely their own, Varsity Senior "A"
basketball laddies managed to squeew out on the fight end ef
a 15-0 score in a tussle with Essondale's supersensitive
"SbJeks." Xbs Essondale squad, one of the toughest aggregation
of nuts that Varsity have over, had to crack, turned out to be
ytty cagey, having been in cage* all day long.
Tmagsae the mirpfhie, whe*Dtarold .r^^
Varsity freshman was seen leading tht nertx on to the floor.
Jlpllingithe pill.arpund in his mouth, he scored a direct hit when
he ewallewtd it.  Alter this fatptA^ljpl^
Varsity trailed onto the floor to tht tiiittj|!$te» ding^oag
4a*Jy irom Sumss/l.and ^aujht to Sutom t>umas stuff."
<«ism tharMwtbad g*tb>h*e*-» i dndWy  .■*,   ,-	
,4ass>>sri4 his rwhlttit he«<|ssjR*Srdss)
haUrinte fas slr>\sad alasi eossUBtAMd.
i,AmiisBntgi i-yspsWy iSOBjtMi#lfrt<(jfRfc
btU en the ti§-oc,*jid flipped it in
•yjSMSSr/\^iewSm}tWSS^eejw   '!S|»^sj*^*^*/«SBB^p jpt*7**f?e*^*jp
^ JsnStt* rf <he ««*• sotornpiinfam
^^•*.t)SS0sS -ifjbssfl ,af^||s*,tSsf*j*ee»
*t$Om^Sjm*k^ejglSwf   ^^tJWer    J ^Per*    1"> ™■•WPSflS*^5J•w^,'    •*
pretty kit of work by getting pos-
•enion of the iron hoop and hooped
it wp in the MeUmute *aloon.
The baU, stiU in pl*y, ftU Into the
, open arm* of our hero, Cy Lm, who
ran Oay Lee down the floor to drop
it in th* fruit.ba*k*t With the *cor*
3-3 th* ortwd went wUd end askfd
lor time-out After the lemons, tho
thoys hod orange* to take away the
tam of tiie Janwria aad then titty
bad lemons to take away th* taste
of the orange*. H*Jf'time *nd*d without any change In seore.
The ssoond half wasn't half barf. In
fact, it was aU bad. Beth team* found
difficulty In locating the basket. On*
was found, however, and they, played
ground that for awhU*.
At this point, the Eaeandal* "Sap*"
wont erssy. Their star forward, who
thought he was Houdlnl, kept eon-
tinuaUy plucking passes out of the
ah- and dropping them in the basket
Annoyed by this, Osborne managed
to take away the other hoop thus
tying the score. Thia presented a
knotty problem but Houdlnl again
untied it with a rabltt and two eggs
(from the crowd,.
Osborne, for Varaity, playing with
the elastic band in his trousers, mapped out of it. Romping down the inside left he switched over to outside right when half way down the
floor and popped one in with a shot
Now stfely in the lead, the studenta aat on the ball until the referee
obtained a pin. He told them not to
play Incubator again. At this Junction an Essondale substitute from the
institute came on with a wheelbarrow ends couple of baskets. In the
few minutes he wu on the floor he
coUected fifty cents.
The game ended with the referee
getting thirsty and Ju«t whistling.
Star* for the tussle were Cyrius de
Screpancle and your correspondent
who kept track of the score.
Moot and Boos
Other "UV
News from Toronto tells of the institution of a cafeteria on the Varsity
campus. It 1* afte rthe style of our
own caf. Men take the co-eds to tea
with their hate off, not the co-ed*,
we mean the men. At thia caf. in
Toronto they sell *oup at one cent
a plate and then charge ten cents
for the use of a spoon. They tall
beans for three cent* a pound and
hope you Uke them.
A clipping in the McOiU Weekly
says, "Studenta around thia campu*
are dying of chicken-pox. The senate
recommended that all chicken* be expelled and this wiU likely be done
even if they belong to a sorority.
straefT STATES
Ml** Maybell* McOUUcuddy 1* an
wchang*_»tud*nt at the University
of Hard Knock* thi* year. Expurga-
tion* from h*r letter* wpuld «*em to
Imply that condition* at that institution wiU clceely paraU*l those existing at UJB.C. when the burget come*
down. •
"H*U'« h*U," state* our Co-Re-
ipondent "but whUe there study to
Improve." Always of a studious nature, it hjs not been difficult for
Hiss McOUUcuddy to sccUmatls* herself to htr moire or lets now tur-
Courses given at U. H. K. rang*
from Persistence Won t© Cheek 233.
experience Telia it alto a popular
unit, but counts In AbUlty, StabU-
lty, and DebUity are not gven at
thi* coUege, it Is said.
The reputation of You, H. X. is
said to be low. But this it only tht
opinion of student* from tht «mall
town coming in, and hence can be
cancelled. Aa to the students from
the big towns going out-oh!
Th* fraternity question on thia
campus ia not a Uve one, audi well-
known national*, as Eta Piece Pi and
Oimml Qimmi Gimmi are flourishing, whUe the local Gotta Gette Poppa seems to be doing well. Membership ia open to tht matte* and
discrimination teem* to be lacking.
Block voting exists, att member* voting In one block, or a chip off it at
Mia* McOUUcuddy hop** to receive
the degree of B.UJM.P. or TJ1E.
(Hard-BoUed Bete) at UJLK. within th* next three wore year*.
Student Gov't
Is Fooling Fine
Another reporton, Student Govern-
Stent hat been brought down by the
ommittat on Studwit Inactivitle*.
It advocat** a councU of fifty-four
member* and an athletic-executive
ctmpu* organisation*. Tht aUegtd
committee worked for at lettt two
night* on tht problem end with tht
help ef Stu Keata and/Darnold Anderson wtrtabjt to bring it down
with a bang that woke everybody
up but tiie students.
Tht rtport tuggtit* s common-
room for panltort sad a waiting-
room htcjde th* hwrtry l*#nrd#fk.
Another fifty stats wUl be iaft#U*d
in the CouncU room for tiie athletic
executive to tit on whtn titty .tit
not attetp on tht floor. Tht whelt
Sophomort das* are invited to Join
FoUowing a statement In W.P.AJ.
Long, deploring tht fad that thi
never get any pubUdty on ,thi fat-
ture psges of Tht Uby***y, w* der
diced that th* mltttk* mu»t be cor-
r*ct*d. We, ftel prlvU*t*d te be tblt
te„offer lilts Long ajiy amount.of
publicity. *   "  ':   .' |
«Dfs Long, although sat is now a
m*mb*r of Student** CouncU. Was
once quite a, nice girl. In fact sht
wat ont of tht tdltorial staff of tht
Ubyisty. Htr campus Ufe hat beta
an active aad varltd one, indudtag
the office of 3rd Vlce-Pr*«ld*nt of
the, Chttt Club, sad campu* rtpr**-
bten known to attend ltctur**, It is
rumored; though tt tht tune of going to prats this rumor has not been
confirmed. ■
Her favorite sport is tot ht tht
oaf. end tdtphotting. On getting htr
number tht ehetrfuUy ehlrpt <Ctsst
•peaking" a trick which m any apt
hut the g*nial Mis* Long might bt
Sensational Theft
No Books Loft
SUpping tUtntly through tht stacks
with ttckt on their back* twenty-
**v*n crook* atolt a lot of book*. It
hat been diteovtred thlt morning that
not a *lngl* book waa Itft In tht Ub-
rary, pardon mo I'm a Uar. Tht Chinese EngUsh 2 dictionary wat left.
Arriving ponribly by about ten
o'clock tht thieve* are btUeved to
have swiped the Are truck and a
(Pleaae flop over to page two)
yttr tht eotehtd the Incomparable CouncU to victory in a base-
baU gemt, whlltpltjriag tht position
of pitthtr. Next,yttr tht wUl probably play Senior "A" b**k*tbaU, If
eligibl*. Mitt Long, long for Short,
ia tht possessor of a winning amU*.
and a car which hat gained for her
a host of campu* friends Both the
•mile and the car ought to carry her
far. At least we're hoping.
Some Sense In
Professor Gargle McHootchh, who
haa been working on Statiatict for t*v-
era! year*, ha* now published a book.
This *■ tapedaUy interesting to University students, tt the row material
haa been tektn from iur own dearly
beloved fr*ahm*n: ,-
McHootch ttatet that 83.S percent of
Preahmtn do not go down to tiie Caf.
until they havt been here at lettt
two week*. After that 28.4 percent
more Vrtthmtn go down than any
other das*. Thia no doubt accounta for
tht high mortaUty at Christina*.
It it also found that tht hay on the
floor of th* Aggie Common Room la
renewed once in every 5SM.M year*.
Or maybe we have got tht dtcimal
point wrong. Anyway, last time it
wet replaced, we know that Catttn-
dra herself officiated at the ceremony.
Muck Editor Says Good Bye to Pals As
.AJ»o»g athtr ,*M|«tstion* Js>«**,
Idas to ehang* the nam* of tht Bus*
mats Mtnigtr to Director of Coun*
pert aays, end tteetltlly tik* tiun
to < ht^ tkwg Ihtfr awn stub tad
Laying t t»M.,msgm.M. fJB&S*
government th* Committee suggest-
Spring has come, and .with it the first and also the last
issue of the Lunyssey. This great literary effusion comes to
you after a great deal of mental (?) struggling and striving, and
a special season of meditation and prsyer on the part of the
harassed Muck Editor and his staff. We hope you like it. Per-
sonally, we don't.
litre was a tou<^ of, tragedy in the compilation of this Issue. The poor Muck Editor was forcod to bid a fond farewfU
to,«Uthe <5hildrenofh4s brain who have eiif^rtiu^
gentsia of ^the University fer the past term. One by one they
took their leave of him, ln this, the last maroh past of the
The.great one sat at his tgble, surrounded,and almost engulf ed hy a conglomerate pUe of books, lecture nqtes, brief
c^ses, luJAoh pap^» degk telephones, empty milk bottles, ssul
t> paper. TbtMNMiftsmsllelisiM
ed ttvatthe Faculty of Arts bt in. writer, however, and in this the shades of the various Muok
stalted ss a department In tht Ftc
ulty of AitaUtdSjatntt. Ho»*»ver,
u^ 1* Jtu^ t *i*js^ttion so:.Jt wiU
mediately for Alaska, and wUl work
on a boat running between there end
Suitably decorated with wttpmf
wiUowa, 1U1** t«d '.other ttttonal
flowtn, th* ^hQfftot wt* th* two*
o ft nftry pretty wtdding on Friday
tht Uth Inst wh*n Bth*l. tht'n*ckwt
woman on CouncU, waa united In mtr-
riagt with "SlnJln" M*dl*y, ntwly
•Iwted pr**ld*nt of tht Womtn'i Athlttic Attodatloa Tht Vtry Rtv: Edgar Brown, ,ptrformtd th* otrtmony,
tttlttod by Canon Palmer.
The bride, who looked charming la
a gown of o*lophen*. WM glv«n in
marriage by Oordon "Our Hero" Root
She carried t bouqeet of forgtt-iM-
not*. Ml** Mairi Dingwall acted tt
bridesmad*. hi a costume which defied description, while Miss France*
Lucas acted aa matron of honor. The
groom was supported by Day Washington and Oscar ScribblawtU, as-
slated by tht Canadian rugby team and
the Janitorial staff. He waa becomingly garbed in a pepper and salt suit
with which he wort a dtapairing smile.
During the signing of tht register Wilfred Let tang, "Save, Oh Sava Me,"
tht groom Joining in the chorus.   ,
Little Mist MoUle Jordan acted at
flowtr girl, *tr*wing tht aiale with
aspidistras, the bride's favorite flower*.
FoUowing the ceremony the member* of the Muck Staff held a reception ln the Cheat Club Room at the
gymnasium. Tht president of W.U.8.
cut the tea, while Mis* Everett* Xing
poured tht lota: A abort program wat
rendered by weU known Varaity artiste, Mr. Bob Harcourt being heard
in "Selection* from Grand Uproar,"
while Stu Krntt kindly played on tht
Among thott ttncUng floral tribute*
and other expression* of sympathy to
the grlom wtt Long Tom How, Muck
Editor and former friend of the bride.
The honeymoon ia to be iptnt amid
rustic surrounding* on tht cUttrted
Aggie farm, after which tht brld* i*
to accept a position as waitre** in tht
cafeteria. The groom 1* ltaving im-
By Tavender
Down one in Washington university the studenta have fired the dean
for drinking in the Ubrary. "Such a
thing," stated a student leader,
"should never be done in public. If
the man wants abltalikker let him
make frenz with us."
In Chicago coUege, a course In
Gangsterism has been Inaugurated.
The class rooms are overcrowded.
The professor has been taken for a
ride three times already through the
courtesy of the copyright owners.
Oyez Oyezl Oyez! Oysters for
less, pansies for less, now's the time
to fall In love. This bright slogan
Is being used exclusively by he-men
on an American university campus.
They are selling pansies and oysters.
Page celebrities took their stand as they bade their chief farewell.
" '          ■  ' "      ♦
Ei-Muck Editor
"Are you In favor of ttudtnt gov-
•rnmtnt?" wtt tht question mtpptd
at Erntrt J. (Chtrub) Costain by t
reporter who tccccted hint today
(yttttrday now.) Tht former Much
editor was ptnsively obtarving hit
reflection In the Uly pond.
''Not" thundered Cyriu* de Sort-
pencil (for by that nam* ht it known
to tht Muck frltnds.) "No!" After
seeing such things ac CouncU I am
grossly—or M4 timtt-tgalnit it."
Cyriu* retumad hit ptnsiv* pete,
but became suddenly tltrt tt tht
next question penetrated,
"What ia your opinion of co-education?"
"Well, for one thing, you can always borrow a hairpin when you
want to lace upa football."
"What do you think of the Muck
"Wonderful! I always wrap my
lunch in it. It come* in handy to
wrap a footbaU in after playing on
the upper field."
"How does Crumbs from the College Bred strike you, Cyriu*?"
"Your grammar, sir—seriously, At
for Crumbs, I think it* writer ha* a
lot of emit"
"Aad Pipe and Pen?"
"Tht pipt't not bad. But the pan
"And lectur**?"
"Without lecture* there'd be no
ttudtnt government, because there'd
bt no ltcturtt for ttudtnt councUlor*
to cut in order to carry their government."
"And the caf.?"
"Word* cannot expreaa it."
"What of tht library?"
"Vtry handy. Think of the fun you
etn havt with tht hand-drying ma-
chin*. Besides, thott table* would bt
keen for ping-pong."
"How about Senate?"
"If I had th* *ay I'd Senate away."
"And the Board of Governor*?"
"They haven't a plank to stand on."
"Thank*, Ernest J. Coatain," concluded the Interviewer. "Don't let
any moss grow under your feet."
To prevent which he accidentally
brushed the ExMuck editor into the
calm waters of tht LUy pond.
"Hey, I didn't need to be made all
wet" protested tht victim.
"I know that" agreed the scribe.
"But I wanted you to face cold
News From India
Thousands ware shocked ln Bombay
late yesterday when the world's most
talked-of figure dipped upon a
French verb and lost hi* safety-pin
in a strip poker game. Imagine Mr.
Gandhi's embarrassment He was
quoted aa having said the foUowing,
"Alpha Delta Gamma Rho, around
the flag-pole we must go." Then he
stood up, oh, oh, oh After sitting
down quickly, Mr. Gandhi stayed
e io uvof ain joj Xq-sjassed Supjsv
pair of braces, Mr. Gandhi was sadly
disappointed to find there was not a
brace in the street. Imitating the well
known fufu bird, he called loudly,
"My kingdom for a horse," and then
changed it quickly to hearse. And
hearse where the article ends.
The first to take Uav* of our hero
at S. I. Zflch, *xhum*d and all.
Sikh Is it prteent languishing in a
,down town morgu*. waiting for hi*
rtlttiv** to claim him for burial. By
September it jt hoped that ht ht
balled out, rtturrected, tad ready to
return* hi* plact on tht Muck Page
, Bufai fW.. McOoofua, who
such * untatlonal battl* for tht
prtddtney of tht A. M. S. this yttr,
had Uttlt time to say good-bye, to
the Muok Editor. Rufus it stUl
•mtrting uadtr tht sting of his 4c-
fttt is not a singl* vote wis polled
for him in th* bis battl* ef th*
ballota. HU two opponent*, McOoofus tUtgt*. pull** a faat on* on him
and brlbtd the printer to ltavt his
ntmt off ,|h* Ust of candidate*.
"Next time I shall print tht ballot*
myaalf," Rufus declaied, "and 111
see to it that mine it the only name
on them."
Sitting Bull dropped in on the
part long enough to say good-bye
and laavt th* Muck Editor and hla
entire staff Uttlt dips inviting them
down to Cordova Mansion next week.
The mighty minion of the law hastened off right after this, mounting
in aU directions after Sinjin Medley,
his panting steed and galloping off
Co-Co and Oscar ScribbleweU came
in to rtport, that in spite of tht
depression, thty plan to inter bud-
ntt* till* summer in t big way. "Wt
art going to act a* guide* for tourists," Co-Co stld, "and show thorn
over the dte of tht abandoned unl.
verdty. We have each been here for
ten years, and so should know our
way around even the old Aggie
farm." Darnold Anderson, ox-Junior
member, It to Join the firm a* office
manager and telephone boy. He wUl
be InstaUtd In tht broken down
buUdlng one* und aa a bu* ttation.
Cyriu* dt Scrtptncy told the Muck
Idlto rthat ht plana to aptnd tht
aummtr writing a book of poem*.
"Cherub Coatain ia going to hdp
me," ht aaid, "and whtn wt art
finished with it we are going to
publish it under someone else's name.
Th*n w* may havt a chance of idling it."
SUo Ranee dropped in to bid the
editor good-bye alto. SUo ia looking forward to a very absorbing vacation. Tht great detective tweUed
with pride aa he announced, "I have
been engaged to solve the gr*ate*t
detective mystery of tht century,"
he said. "Tht editor want* m* to
tearch for any trace* of student
government on the campus.'
Professor Gargle McHootch wtil
not be back next year. The shining
light of tht faculty told tht Muck
Editor that he has accepted a moat
interesting position at Queens. "I
am to investigate the petting and
parking problem there," he declared,
"and bring in my report to the inter-fraternity councU for some action."
The most touching sight of all,
however, was the Muck Editor's fond
leave taking of Ethel, who almost
became the "neckest woman on.
CouncU." This tad farewell was after
the true Toronto tradition, and then
the Editor wm left alone with hla
thought* again. Next year, he reflected, another Muck Editor will be
making Ethel's dates for her, and
looking after the goings and comings
of "your baby and mine" to boot.
The poor Muck Editor sat sighing
for awhile, then, with a last wall of
despair, emulated the great Pepys,
"and so to bed without prayers."
It is rumoured that the chairman
of the Liquor Control Board wUl be
very sorry to hear of the graduation
of the Commerce '32 class. Page Four
Issued every once and a while by a
couple of idiots.
Mail subscription rates: Undecided.
Editor-in-chief: Shrdlu Etaoin.
crvw AVM op JLNOO
We are going yfcfrewscfrekJkhd—-pardon us
—crazy. We have always wanted to but something or other has always turned up at the last
minute and we put it off. However, thia time
we're determined to go the limit. At thia point
we usually break off into a dozen puns or so
but today, to show that we are sincere ln our
intentions we won't.  We'll tell a joke instead.
Two well-known campus co-eds wort discussing in their own peculiar way about the
Co-ed Ball and how they enjoyed it. Said ont
(name on request), "My boy friend waa fresh,
last night." Said tht other, in O minor, "Why
didn't you slap his fact." Said tht first, "I did
but listen to me—never slap a guy's fact whtn
he's chewing tobacco."
And not a pun yet. We must be <p-azy. Yes
we are crazy, We think we are somebody else.
Wt art tht editor-in-chief of Tht Ubyssey. Wt
art writing an editorial on "Student Government" Here's how it goes.
"After prolonged and weighty consideration
tht committee of nobody in particular which
was appointed two years ago to look into tht
matter has brought down its rtport and gone
back for more. This rtport is a loud rtport
and U not a Uttle disappointing. Tht main idea
seems to be to provide Council with a bevy of
advisors and assistants to do the errands and
make sandwiches for tht rest of tht Council.
"Under tht recommendations, tht administration of athletics is to bt entrusted to a board
of tight pipple and half of these mind you, will
bt studtnts. Instead of calling the Business
Manager by his own name they will call him
Business Secretary. We will call him what we
Draw your cherub dose and we will tell you
I fountain nickel.
Theatre Roosevelt, president of U.S.A.
Mania called but few art chosen.
I know a cigarette but I won't tell it.
Futile me your secret I'll tell you mine.
Sit on attack annual know it.
Owing to lack of space or else something
else, several important topics were left out
of the editorial columns of The Ubyssey this
year. The Lunyssey will endeavor to correct
these omissions in the following synthesis.
1. The Honor System at this University
is nothing more nor less than a hollow mockery.
2. The exhibition of shocking militarism
displayed by the activities of the C.O.T.C. is
revolting to the feelings of all thinking students.
3. Fraternities on this campus are a disintegrating and demoralizing influence.
4: The loss of the Men's Upper Common
Room is a loss to the Chess Club.
5. The University will shortly cease to bt
more than half a meal ticket to professors.
I find myself rising to defend education. It
appears that someone said that someplace was
"woman-infested"—and the students didn't
like it.
Having some knowledge of women, I think
there is no cause for concern. Women, I will
admit, are more or less of a nuisance and when
the place is infested with them they will certainly get in your way, but who care sabout
Some students make fools of themselves and
bring co-education into disrepute. Others
don't make fools of themselves.   They let the
from the
College Bred
Irish I didn't have to write this.
Now that my St. Patrick's day pun has been
made I have nothing more to say on the subject of Irishmen except relate tht latest story
about Fat and Mike. It seems there were two
Irishmen—now supply your favorite story.
How's that for passing the buck?
And now it comes tht interesting part of
the program. Meet Mr. Qrantham.
"I know a fellow who 'gets Us back
up' easily, but as long as ht doesn't 'put
on side,'I won't affront him. Canyon got
to tht bottom of that?"
Bored of Governors  aren't wt aU?
"What people should bt Mying—Tom
How: I wish I could write a column Rke
Pipe and Pen.'
"How Is it that "Crumbs" appears on
this page? WeU, first of all there's tht
doagh to bt used for sotnething, and then
there's knead of humor that will get a good
tlst, and the product is often pretty crusty
—that's How.
"Who is T. H.? Far bt it from mt to
disclose, but It may be said that hit full
initials (my version) art T.D.S.H. 1 call
him T.D.S. because he Is so lengthy."—R.G.
And here ht has been wasting his time
writing "Pipe and Pan" all year.
According to all tht other Muck writers and
even R.G., everybody is trying to figure out
who "T. H." is. I have signed my full name
at the end of this column.
My purpose a funny dog.
I condense, canoe?
"tuum Est" G. How.
women do that. It should bt realized that
students are not a race apart, but simply a
cross-section of the public. (See frontispiece
for diagram of cross section).
There are many factors that help develop
undesirable attitudes in the less stable (not
necessarily Aggie) student. Let the older generation kick themselves and not the people
who are standing in front of them on tiie street
car. In junior high schools you may behold
many monstrous little girls with painted lips
and cheeks—you can readily guess what kind
of lip-stick they use.
Let the older generation indulge in a couple
of good bottles of beer and devote intelligent
thought to these matters.  I can't be bothered.
The Washington Nightly devoted an 8-page
issue to the important subject of passions—no,
it was fashions. My mistake. About cords
we learn (1) that there are spinal cords and
musical chords, and (2) that they are all the
rage.  Bathing suits will disappear.
One article says that "most men dislike
strong perfume, bright red nails, profuse
make-up and lots of jewelry." Ain't it so?
When in a good mood, I don't like red nails,
but when in a bad humor—oh boy!
Let me quote from the advertisement of a
prominent toothbrush company. "We're talking to you regular men. You'd rather hear
yourself sing that somebody else." If you
want to be a regular man, note carefully that
you have to know how to whistle the Marsal-
leise. We mean "Marsalleise in the cold, cold
The special Muck reporter, after
ingenious gate-crashing, was enabled
to take down Mr. Co-Co's speech to
the Cirdariana last Tuesday verbatim. That last sentence may sound
Involved, but it make* sense really.
Figure it out yourself.
Mr. Co-Co addressed the club on
the subject, "What ia Wrong With
Modern Business Conditions." His
speech fdlows:
"Gentlemen—er, I mean, chairman
and gentlemen—er, chairman and
other gentlemen.
"I cannot convey to you with what
pleasure I received your most kind
invitation to apeak on the subject of
—er—upon—er, upon the subject you
have asked me to speak upon.
"We are often asked nowaday*,
'what is wrong with business?' Now
I have come today to—er—eo—otherwise, what excuse would there be
for my—er„ my presence here today
and gone tomorrow? Er, pardon me,
a mere sUp of the—er—I didn't mean
that at all.
"I believe I have a far more—er—
a fore mar—that Is to say, a more
far-reaching grasp of the situation
than—er, than—er—of that, and I
think it would me unreasonable to
suppose otherwise.
"Gentlemen, the fact of the matter
is, that there are too many—er—
there aren't enough—er—the facta
stare us in tht fact, gentlemen. We
refuse to see them because we are
afraid to listen. THAT it what it
wrong with-and another thing, if it
weren't so, it would be the same
thing dl over again. But a* it ia,
it is a matter of—er—of history, and
even if it weren't it would not ma-
terldly affect the issue.
"Take the matter of—er, either that
or Competition. What justification
is—er, there ia no comparison at aU.
It is a mater in which I—er—weU,
it just should not have arisen. I
stand for neither the one, nor—er—
nor, in fact, for the other. Even if
I did uphold one of them, not to
say both of them, it would be absolutely—er—and, anyway, in this temperature and—er—age of freedom, it
would be Impossible even if you
could do it.
"So long as Business continues, it
will be—er—and nothing can alter
the fact. If our present system of
Business perishes then we also shall
—er—perish, and if we perish, we
shall—er, die, and I for one am not
going to do that
"Before I condude, gentlemen, I
should like to thank you for your—
er—and to assure you that I shall
Today—Tea In the caf., 4;M pjn.
Overflow meeting in Utrary
Tennis tournament, wetther
Aariatent Muck Editor to be
Sunday—CouncU meet* to rend
Monday—Ethel doea washing.
Tuesday—Two memben ef Pub.
goto lecture.
Toitday—Tea In the caf. 4:Mpjn.
Reporter at W.U.S. meeting
wiU cause a riot
LOST—Black and white mottle fountain pen.   Finder please return to
Donna   Leitch.    Letter-rack.    Pen
marked.   Compliments of De Wdt
always treasure the memory of it,
and that wherever I find myself I
shall make It my business to—er—
again, gentlemen, and very heartily,
thank you.
Reviews by Co-Co.
"Eaton'* Spring dtalogue"-
Thi* rtther thick volume hat Just
comt to hand, and I Should Uke to
but I can't owing to the ftct that
I havt lest my thttsurut.
Tht book It, in a way, peculiarly
suited to chUdren. It Is fuU of U-
luitr*tlon»-*om* In color—from cover to cover. I find, however, that
I cannot rtcommthd tht print for
chUartn'i ty**. It it by far too
•mail. Too bid, but thtrt you tn,
even if I am not htrt by then.
tht plot of tht ttory is rather
w*tk. In fact, thin doesn't sttm
to bt tny plot at sil. It must havt
curled up and died tomewhtre. 1
looked In tha Index, but I couldn't
find It tnywhtrt.
Tht hare and heroin* tpp*tr fat a
multiplldty of ftct and cottumi that
i* rather confusing at.first, Hew-
•vtr, with tht hdp of a Uttlt patience and sofnt vtitllnt you may
probably get on to it Maybe its a
ntw kind of mystery story, when
you havt to guns the plot I recommend tht book vtry highly. It It
Muck Editor.
Tht vhyscty.
Dttr Sir.-After reading your last
Muck pase a great wavt of contrition comes ever mt. It was splendid
(the past) and I sat how wrens I
was Io inaklng my former censurious
remarks. The trouble It that your
humor Is too subtit for torn* dumb
students to savvy. ! am rtdgned to
hiving my dough uatd for your
Yours, etc.,
P.S.-Art you ttill going to bt a
mtchiruc next yttr?
Editor'* note.-Thit Is tht typt of
ltttert wt have been receiving aU
yttr but wt havt hid no room to
print them.
Am and Dub Notes
A vtry Inttntting matting of tht
Hystericd 8odtty wtt hdd lttoly.
A vtry Intonating pap*r wu givm
on ■ vtry intending sublet in,
•trmgt to *ay, hiitory. "Whit U
Hlitory?" wit tht theme of the dis-
A play haa recently comt to town
by in author of whom I havt never
heard before, but who, I aaaur* you,
wUl ritt high in hit chcten carreer.
Thi* man—who got* by tht name of
Shikcspttre—I oan ntily rtcommtnd
for aU adult persona. I cannot rtcommtnd it to chUdren, as tht rtther
highly-colored language may corrupt
their moral*.
Thia man pr***nt* * pity called
"The Merchant of Venus," or tomt
such title. A Jew It tht principle
chiraoter; hla name, we bdleve, It
Otii Skinner, which seem* to mt to
bt a rather peculiar name for ■
Thi* man, a second-hand dealer,
lend* Antonio • fabulous sum of
money, btu demands as intend t
pound of fltsh. Cm you lmigmt t
Jtw doing thin? It* ibtolutoly ridiculous.
Oon the whole, tht pity it rathtr'
good, though wt might idvi** tht
playwright to lmprovt hit grammar
a bit
Art and dl that wat discussed at
a very intending meeting of the Art
Club held at the Art Gallery. "What
is Art?" was the question asked by
the memben who came to the conclusion that it is very interesting.
A vtry inttntting debate was hdd
at a meeting of the Parliament-like
forum. "What 1* Parliament?" wat
the subject. It wtt decided that It
wa* not vtry intending.
Some very intending Itteratun
for wointn wm discussed at-weU,
jud at a meeting of the F. for L.
for W. the other dty. Tht *ubj*ct
wu not disclosed but it waa very
Infinity wa* th* subject of a vtry
intending paper given on the subject of "Fraternity, When," at a
meeting of the Mathematics Club.
The meeting came to the condudon
that it waa zero.
(Editor's Ntto-Wt take great stats-
art ia pnttotiag tht fint chapter et
; a tew tafia!).'
"Whits," and a bullet tang "When
tht Mean Comes Over the Mt*." put
my tar. "Zip" and • digger embedded itself fcato tht woodwork.
"Hal" I murmurtd, "tomithlng'i
"( )", mttntng no nolit at til,
and thi Ughto went out Somebody
rapped at tht door, which swung atl-
tntiy optn with a ghostly chuckle
ru bet a brats eookte with knob* on
tint you can't guttt who it wa*. Nor
can I. Jud a minute whUt I think
of somebody.  Aha, wt have It
In stalked tht tarriblt figure of no
Its* a perton thin Ctrumi de Migutl
de Orlando do Ftrrtra do Cirrtmba
de Jot* dt Juan de Fuca. Mick for
short A britf Mograpbicd tketch
might bt la order.
Ton Jewel robbtrl** tight tbduo
tiont-on* jdl term—forty three-point
tightten murdtra-invtntor of s new
dyl* Jimmy (combined with a toothbrush tad a cak*-knif*)-*tc.
Nick Walked In my direction,
•winging a cant which was probably
a rifle in disguitt, and sat down-on
tht floor, owing to tripping over a
eat which ht hadn't noticed. I
laughed, but at hit horrible language
the smile froze on my face. Frantically I strove to unfreeze It. It
wouldn't. Dam these unreUable cigarette Ughters, I thought, aa I
searched trenziedly for a match.
Suddenly a masked figure stole ln
the doorway that Nick had left open.
Aa I whirled for my pistol, tiie figure
threw a make in my direction. Then
Jt mapped out the Ught*. A low
whittle *ound*d, and was answered
by a howl from outddt.
"Tht/n after mt," gasped Nick.
Tha window broke «udd*nly, and a
dark, ahapdta* mats oosed Into tht
room. The rattl* of a machine-gun
broke the stlUn«*s of tilt night. Amid
tht howling of tht wind, I caught tht
faint bnathing of *om*thing! "Nick,
Nick," I diduted No answer, only a
hollow gurgling sound. Then I ftlt
a pair of clammy hand* graap my
(To bo continued)
"Relation*" waa the subject of a
very intending paper given at the
lad meeting of the International
Relative* Club, held recently. Ihe
meeting came to the conclusion that
they were not very Interesting.
Honorary preddent, Professor Gargle McHootch; preddent Mahatma
Gandhi; tint vice-president, Andy
Broatch; second ditto, Ronald Grantham; third ditto, Jazz Gibson; fourth
ditto, (Ed. note that wUl be enough
of them).
'lunatJKnui Ama iry
'tmaej e so peiaAOOsm mom 'qtaX
put '»93% 'tej) 'ooz 'ins dutuiap tqx
■ueui eouepg jo funaaui s te pazX\e
-ire put pMcenro som vruftrqdozups
Speaker—Professor   G.   McHootch.
Subject—The Life and Work of a
Successful Sport Editor.
An utterly memorable meeting of
La Paralslenne wah held recently.
Scenes from "The Inner Life of
Louis XIV" were given by members
of the club. M. le Bong rendered
two utterly memorable tongs, "Qu'ed
Dear Sir,—A* a mambtr of i largt
and representative body of the in-
teUigenda of thi* indltution, I con-
dder mynlf weU capable of offering
suggestion* toward* tht improvement
of the "Ubyssey." I admit that my
journaUttic training haa been limited
to the reporting of Chest Club activities, yet nevertheless it is my con-
ddered opinion that a fresh and acute
mind will be of incalculable benefit
toward* the Improvement of your
A frequent topic of discusdon
among tht cogno*centl of my acquaintance i atht Muck Page. Undoubtedly the Muck Page mud go.
It seems to mt Incomprehensible that
a coUege paper of you/ standing
should devote any portion of its valuable space to such imbecile maundering* of febrile intelligence*. The constant flow of opaque stupidities that
conged the minds of your Muck
writers mud undoubtedly appear to
the outdde world at an aegis of the
date of cerecrd development and intellectual abfuscation of our dudent
body. In my humble suggedion it
ia incumbent that the Alma Mater
Society at its next generd meeting
move the abolishment of this enoum-
berment of our cultural advancement.
In the place of the Muck Page T sug-
ged that you publish chess problems
and perhaps an open forum for philosophic discussion.
I am yours, etc.,
Friday, March 18,1938
A Tie-Rack and Its
Fird of all you n**d tomt tin,
cardboard, wood, nail*, end • couple
df pain of pUers. One pair of scissors wiU comt In bendy it wtil is a
couple of bottles of beer.
Seat yourself at your workbench
with a hammer in the right hand
and tht fonflngtr of your loft
pressed hard againd ■ button which
is supposed to call tht carpenter. He
doesn't answer. You'U havt to do
it yountlf.
FoUow carefuUy the diagrams
which wt do not Intent to print,
keeping in mind the prlndple of
"Lalssez fain" which meant tat it
go if you hit your thumb-ndl. It
ia vtry naotmry—mark thia point
wtU — to dag God Savt tht Kins,.
Thi* wUl kttp the ndghbon from
interrupting you and giving tdvict.
It should by thit tunc be nearly
lunch-hour to you oan tat your
Mndwichat which you wen tuppotod
to havt with you. (We forgot to
teU you that btfort, but you knew
Tiki the piece of etrboerd, putty,
•tc. (chew it SI times) tad then take
i frith place of lead. Drive a aatt
through tin point A which we have
not Indicated la the diagram we hive
not printed.
Get a crowbar and pry the piece
of wood Off th* bench to which you
have nailed it by mlstaht. Bandage
your Anger. Take mother piece of
wood and after atwing for about tan
minute* tske a trash alee* of weed
This will be your finished tte-rack.
Hang it up on tht wdl and deoorit*
with bite of ribbon, und matchtt
aad cauliflower. Cover with a atuet
while hot Pardon ui-wt were think-
bw of "How to Make a Rowboat la
How to continue our tirade en tit-
rackt. Color your rack purple with
nwhogtny varnish and dt down till
H dries. (Tour houn). Varnish
your tie*. It it fuUthtd. You tea
now varnish Into tht distance.
[   Litany Coroner   ]
Writer* of Muck-
At tout
Rtgular Muck.
Ntwt Mintgen
In, thlrt-tlttvtt,
With brow
Bedewed with honed toll.
Literary Edlton
Club Note*.
And Soceeritet
All is over indeed.
AU is over.
ce que e'ed que ca" and "En Rou
lent Ma Boule."   Thia was the final
meeting for the term.   It was decld
ed that It was a Good Thing.
haa been
who is
T. H.
am going
to tell
tht same T. H.
(or tritt to)
can't write muck.
Which la absurd.
(Set above
and below).
T H.
Standi for
Tee Hoc
the niton
she calls
It because
who is
T. H.
(Continued from Page Three)
ladder. By meant of thit ladder they
entered the magazine room. After
they had finished nadlng "FUght"
they flew down to the Ubnrltn'i office and picked up the Siam*** Biblt.
Returning to the atacki they burled themselves In a couple of good
books *until after midnight They
then took several Joy-rides in the
elevator and helped themselves to th*
silence dgn in tht hill. They didn't
visit the museum as the redder wat
not dgned.
Day Washington: I have to shave
my died every time I put on a drest
on a dress shirt.
F. St John Madeley, recently
iefeatod candidate for the pod
»f preddent of the W.A.A.,
wishes to thank the memben of
the Muck Staff for the support
iccorded him in stuffing ballot
boxes, Intimidating voter*, end
kidnapping returning ..officers,
etc... He also wishes to extend
his thanks to the two boys and
i buU dog who cad their ballot*
tn his favor. Friday, March 18,1932
Page Five
Pride of
I  IKE Benjamin Franklin, William Morris,
*-J and other great typographers of the past,
we take deep pride in our craft.   To the production of good printing we bring a zeal, a
fervor that makes for dominance in our
field.   A staff of efficient workmen, a
well equipped plant and the will
to excel—it is to these that
you owe your better
Point Grey News-Gazette, Ltd.
1182 West 41st Ave. Kerr. 118 and Bay. 8137
An Appreciation—
Through tids stadium may L for saysalf aad on behalf of the staff
ef Mat Grey Ntws-Gsastte, Limited, esprtss iimnctatton of the
happy rttatioat that have «dd*d between all thott utsdstid with
the publication of tiie "Ubyssty aad this efflca daring the entire
period ef ear atodition as printer $M client It has been, Indeed
en ear part a privilege to **rv* you and wt an glad for tiw warm
fttaadahlpa created during the past tew months end trust they
be ittttwodt
(Signed) H. W. REEDER,
Managing Director,
rare   i
lead.   I
Firm  I
A. 1 Shoe Repair
Comer Staamat aad ltth
Rear of Home OU Station
FootbaU Cleats
BuUdog and Panco Soles irt
your meet
economical investment
A group of would-be hoodlumi
hl-jacked the distributor ot "Manitoban*" in tht U. of Manitoba recently. The thug*, iftor grabbing
tht paper*, hurled them to the four
wind*, and had it not been for the
delivery boy1* itertn***, tht circulation manager might havt been badly
Thia sort of thing i* in old Ubya-
sey custom.
Ia your boy friend an artid?
Yes, *verytime ht calls mt ht draws
tht shades.
For the second tine this year an
exhibition of contemporary art, under the auspices of the College Art
Association has been held during the
past week in the faculty room of the
library. It is a valuable collection of
modem French prints, including representative work of many of the leading French artists of the period. Such
a collection is interesting as an tilus-
tratlon of present day trends in France'
and the influence of the impressionist movement of the beginning of the
Of the three leaders of the Impressionist movement Cezanne and Gauguin an represented in the collection.
Cezanne was a genius In his way with
a secure place in the history of art.
He pursued his ideal with courage
though not always with sucess; and
though one may not Uke hi* talent one
cannot question his mastery. Gauguin was a more fully equipped artid but hit work is often wrongly
Judged ia a nsult of hit nvolt a-
galnst ctviUzed life and hla tragic
death in a South Sea Island. Ht boasted of being a lavage and his work
is marked by a fierce violence and a
mingling of brutaUty and rtfintmtnt
Hli "Jt Orana Maria" may bt more
fully appreciated when his unusual
Ufa ii ktpt in mind.
Picasso ind Mitiate in acclaimed
by many; and their work It stimuli-
ting In it* untiring experiment and
it* indstence on tpontandty. But
wh*n It It compared with the mattan
of tht put thtir podtion* tt ptlntan
do not nem *o ncun. Renoir It perhaps the mod mnritivt, imaglnativt,
and richly endowed of the group; tad
hit head of "Ambrose VoUird" it vtry
flat. MaiUol hu alto dent txetUmt
work it a aeulptor. Stelnlen knew and
lovtd to portray the pooer quartan of
Parii and hit "Piuvn Hirt" it an
Interesting example of hit work. The
concentration on tht face of Pltrr't
"J*un* FiUt Desdnant" commands attention; but it ftdet into lndgnlfl-
canct beride Bernard'* "La Femmt tu
Van," which recalls the ttyl* of
Rembrandt with ite command of
ahadowa and knowledge of the humm
Many think Dcraln ia now tho gnat
power tmongri young French painters;
and certainly hi* "Etude d'une Tote"
•round condderable controversy. With
a few seemingly meinlngles* Una* hi
la trying to convoy an impntdon
which to be appreciated mud be non
from a distance. One of the fined
print* in the coUection la the "Old
Shepherd" by LeGrand. Not a line in
President L.S.E.
NeU Perry who has become famous
on the campus for his debating and
singing wa* elected to the chairmanship of the L.S.E. at the Council election* lad Tuetdty. Hi pltytd tht Ind
in H.M.S. Pinafon and wu a number
of the debiting team that defeated
Willamette Unlvtrdty recently:
University Library
Askt Co-Operation
In Returning Books
Owing to the near approach of the
end of the term Miss Lanning requests the immediate return at the
Loan Desk of aU overdue books. In
addition students having books on "extended loan" for Thesis or special
work are asked to check their reading cards with Miss Lanning as soon
as possible, and in any event before
Thursday next, the 24th inst.
The co-operation of all students is
likewise requested in the return of
books that may be found in the common rooms or other places In the campus. Sometimes books are Inadvertently left, and forgotten by the bor*
rowers. As the annual check of the
Library's book collection wiU begin
shortly after the commencement of
examinations it is important that all
such stray volumes be turned into
the Loan Desk as soon u posdblt.
Famous "Ballet"
Start Retire
The Ballet-Who is not? It it not
dud but hu ntirtd temporarily for
tht year.
Student! of lad year and tht year
btfon have bUttful mimoriu of
houn spent in th* auditorium watching the Rugby Club go through ite
annual antic*.
But alaa thi* year then wUl be
no Ballet-Who. We weep and abed
• bitter tear.
Thia year the McKechnie cup game*
ao late in tht *aa*on doomtd the existence of "Balltt" and ltt cohort*.
No one wu mora disappointed than
Ballet, for he had lined up atveral
new aonga and dances, ell praising
U.B.C. and tterntl damnation to th*
reps.   But—alas—'tis not to be.
Students, though, are urged to buy
tickets (special price two bits) without the cosmic urge of BaUet-Who.
It ia the last time to tee Vanity in
action before the exams—lefs aU go
down to the point tomorrow and
Charlie Conacher is the dashing, flashing right
winger of the Toronto Maple Leaf famous "tie
major league hockey today, Charlie scored five
ols and one assist in a single game thia
"      ia!
lineT" Possessing the post deadly ahot In
season. While leading the National Hockey
League in goal scoring, Charlie had his hand
badly fractured in Detroit recently. Thousands
of hookey fans throughout Canada join with
the manufacturers of Buckingham Cigarette*
in extending CharUe deepest sympathy and
good wishes for a speedy recovery and a
turn to the game.
Charlie Conacher pays this voluntary tribute
to Buckingham:—
' Good Old Buckingham. There** 20 smiles in every package.*
and Smile
ii   i ii ii— 114<
Additional Sport
News & Views
Of Other U's
Thin art only two nitons for
worry. Eithir you in auccudul or
you in not successful. If you art
tuccesdul thtrt it nothing to worry about; if you ire not auccattful
th*r* an only two thing* to worry
about. Your health it good or you
in rick.    If your health It good,
then la nothing to worry about; if
you in rick then an only two
thing* to worry about You art
either going to get wdl or you an
going to die. If you an going to
got weU, thtrt it nothing to worry
about; if you art going to die, then
■n only two thing* to worry about.
You an dther going to Heaven or
you in going to H——. If you in
going to Heaven, three It nothing
to worry about; if you an going to
H—, you wUl bt to d——d busy
•hiking hand* with your old friend*
that you wUl not havt time to
So why worry?—"CoUege Time*."
Varsity's senior soccer squad winds
up Its season Saturday with a league
game with Capilano at Confederation
Park. These teams met in the first
game of the year, when the Blue and
Gold squad were victors to the tune
of 4-2. The team for the game wUl
of necessity be somewhat changed
from that of late games, as a number of the regulars are finishing the
year on the injured lid. However,
the boys are intent on finishing the
season with a win, and an not weakening the line-up unnecettarily.
Those available for duty are: Frattinger, McGUl, Grant Costain, Kozoolin, McDougal, Manning, Todd (D)
and Todd  (L), Munday and Cooke.
Arts 34 fought their way Into the
finals of the Soccer Cup Serin on
Tuesday when they defeated Science
35 in a game which developed Into a
mad scramble before it was over.
Ted Denne and George the Sanderson
were the succesdul marksmen for
the Arts squad while the Science-
men failed to tally. The North end
of the field was covered by a sizeable
pool of water, and It was about this
pool that mod of the play centred.
While the Engineering lad* were attacking through the lake, they were
unfortunate in not scoring when the
ball hit the post and bounded across
the goal-mouth to miss the other post
by inches. However, the Aestheticicts
outlived the onslaught and when
their turn came, used the aforementioned lake to register twice.
There are still four teams ln the ruu-
nlng for the right to meet The Sophomore Artsmen In the finals. The lads
from the land of teach oppose another
squad of Engineers, those of the year
33, while still another Science outfit,
32, faces the Theologs. It Is expected
that several, If not all, of these teams
will have passed out by this day
fortnight, and another team will have
earned the right to have their year
inscribed on the base of the cup for
which so many have nobly striven.
it is superfluous and the details of
nails and veins are perfect. Of the
various examples of caricature the
rather malicious humor of Goerg's
"La Comedle" is the cleverest. There
are also a few examples of the Cubld
school of which Picasso was the founder, and several excellent lithographs.
This exhibition has aroused even
mora interest among the student body
and outsiders than the lad one and
it ia hoped that by rimilar coUection*
In the next few yean the Art Club
will be able to do much to further the
Intend of art In the Unlverdty.
(Reprinted from the "Varrity")
Tht right of unlverdty dudents to
engage hi "friendly" duelling hu been
upheld recently by a Berlin court,
thus giving a further setback to thott
reformers who would banish till* custom of German student life.
Although student duels have declined greatly since the war, they stUl
hold a strong place in the Ufe of
certain dudent groups. Recently a
dudent wu released by a court although his opponent had died u a
result of the battle.
Saber cute are stUl worn with pride
and even a feeling of superiority by
many who otherwise an moded and
Innocent-appearing flrat end second
year dudent*.
Duelling corpa an rimilar to American fraternities, except In their activities. Dud* in held ucntiy. Th*
dueUidt en protected by heavy vuto,
but their head* and faces an left unprotected.
Usually a dub phyridan and servant la present The youngatem fence
until both have received acan large
enough not to be aahamed of, than If
neither I* too urioudy hurt, they
Join their comrade* end proceed on
an extended drinking bout
Thi* might appeal to our Science-
The McMarier "Silhouette" asks if
anyone can give one good reason for
reading Cicero.
Frankly, this question dumps us.
It seem* that wading through page*
of Latin (or for that matter, Greek)
and translating into indifferent English weakens rather than strengthens
our knowledge of the saUent points
in the ancient authors. The fact is
that we are so deeped ln tradition
which demands a classicd education
that we spend years studying "dead"
languages, and do not pay enough
attention ln training ourselves in
the art of living. This Is why the
title "University Graduate" has become a byword for inefficiency and
inability to fit into the general
scheme of things.—"The Argosy."
Varsity's "B" team Badmintoners
bowed down to a strong Vancouver
Club squad last Monday night when
the Clubbers ran up 11 wins to the
Students' 5. The mixed games were
spUt evenly, but Vancouver took
every one of the ladies' doubles and
lost only one of the men's. On the
whole, play waa not of the highest
order, though many of the games
were quite Interesting. Those who
took the floor for Varsity wen: Phae
Van Dusen, Margaret Wilson, Margaret Powlett EUen Gleed, Ken Atkinson, Terry Holm**, Denis Nicol
and Paul Kozoolin.
Rosemary Winslow wiU read the
minutes at aU Council and Alma Mater
Meetings during the coming session
following her election to the podtion
of secretary by a large majority. Her
activities have included Totem Editor for the present year, and work on
The Ubyssey lad year. She hu alto
filled the position of secntary of tht
Pinafore Plant Tour
After Examinations
Th* lad gtntral muting of tht
Mudcd Society tor tht term wiU bt
hdd Thuradiy noon, March 24th, tn
AppUtd Sdince 100. Election* for
next yrar'a pruidtnt wUl be hdd on
Wednetdty, March 23rd, from 11 to 2,
in Auditorium SOT. Nominations for
Prtridont Include Chariit A. Armstrong, PhU Northcott and Gordon
Stead. The red of next ytar'* executive wUl be elected it tht general
muting on Friday.
Tht cad of "H.M.S. Pinafon" wffl
go on a abort tour after exam*. Tht
Itinerary hu not fully been decided,
but it wiU include New Weriminritr
end po*ribly Victoria.
Th* Mudcd Society party for thia
term wUl bt hdd it KUlarney on
Bitter Monday. It wUl bt strictly informal. A draw wiU take place today
noon In AppUtd Sctence IM.
(Continued from Page One),
port the annud boat-trip wu declared no-go, but the private picnics
wen calculated to replace the cut-
ternary trip.
Tht lad Item tackled wai that of
tho Banquet draw. The draw wUl
be along the tame lines as wu the
lad Senior Class Ball draw, and
names MUST be in the box, wed
side of the Arts Building, by "tiw
Tuesday after Easter Monday.
The Ridgewell
Lending Library
3494 Dunbar (near 19th)
Tel. Bay. 7110
■anklng ly
Students who may be employed
out of town during the Summer
months are invited to transact
their Banking by Mail at this
Branch. A folder explaining
the service will be gladly furnished on application.
Studenta' Accounts are '
Established 1817
Trimble and Tenth Avenue Wed
A. B. MOORE, Manager
F. L. Anteombe
Wishes to take this opportunity of
thanking the students of the University for their patronage during the
pad year; also of wishing you a prosperous and pleasant vacation, and of
expressing the hope that we may resume our cordial business relations on
your return to University next FaU.
Incidentally, don't forget that new
Easter Suit or dry cleaning of the
old one.
Frank L. Ansoombo
4465 W: 10th Ave. p. Q. M :tr~~r
Page Six
Friday, March 18, 193?
Arts 34 Athletes Victorious In
Annual   Inter-class Meet
Science 35 and Arts 35 Follow
Rolfo Forsyth Takes Individual Honors With
19 Points—Gitvin Dirom Goto All Points
For Science '32 and Breaks Own Record
ht Shot-Put—-Stewart Also Prominent
With the sun shining brightly down on them, and a large
crowd of enthusiastic supporters to cheer ^hem on, the class ol
Arte '34 ran, jumped and hurdled thai* way to victory ia, the
annual Inter-Class Track Meet held on the new stadium track
last Wednesday afternoon,   tine energetic sopohomores piled
fa total of $0, points, and were followed by Science '35 with
points? Arts W witli 35tf points     '
Tht mtet wu run with clock-llki
prtcirion, and gmt credit it due to
Ralph Thorn**, pnddent of tht Track
Club, for the effldent nunntr la
which tvtrything wit hindltd. Gavin
Dirom hutky Sdtnot ttnior garnered
every ont of tha It point* for Bd-
cnct 'SS tad broke, hit old record, of
87 ft. Wt in*, for the thot-put by
hnving tin l*ad a distance of 38.8
feei Rolft Ponyth ot the Aggie*
showed tuptrlittve athlttic cjutlltiti
in accounting for 10 out of the 22
point* tht ftrmtn won. Forsyth won
flrri pket In four tvtnte ind wis
high individual point-gtttav.
Tht women'* hundred yard d**h
was started promptly it Stioj. Bdher
PauUn of Art* '34 covering tht distinct in 13.3-5 ncond*. Laurel Rown-
tre* (Arte '34) and M. Lang (Arte '33)
placed ncond ind third.
In tht mtn't hundred yards Good-
fellow of Art* '35 broke the tape in
10 2-5 second* with Stewart (Art* '34)
ncond and Dirom (Sc. '32) third.
Patmore (Sc. '35) wtt clocked at 2
min. 10 2-5 ncond* in the men'* 880,
with Fordyce (Sc. '35) ind Ctmpbril
(Arte '32) foUowing dcttly behind.
The men's raUe race produced rilfl
competition ind Barclay (Art* '34)
had to extend himself to take flrd
place in 4 min. 52 2-5 sec. Alf. Allen
(Sc. '35) and Hobson (Agric) came
second and third. The three mile
event was the most gruelling one ot
the afternoon, and before two miles
had been run the competitors were
strung out along the track. George
Allen (Sc. '33) showed plenty of form
and was In the lead for the majority
of the 12 laps. He won the race by
over 100 yards, his time being 16 min.
35 4-5 sec, and was followed across
the tape by Sinclair (Sc. '34) and Alf
Allen (Sc. '35).
Arts '34 gained nine points in the
ladies' 60 yard event, taking the flrd
three places. Edher Paulin led her
classmate, covering the distance in
7 3-5 sec and Laurel Rowntree and
Violet Mellish foUowed clon behind.
It took Forsyth of the Aggies 19
seconds flat to cover the 120 yard
high hurdles. C. LuttereU (Sc. '35)
and C. Dalton (Art* '34) came in second and third.
The men's 440 event was won by
Stewart (Arte '34) in 54 2-3 second*.
Patmore and Fordyce, both of Science
'35, took the other two places. This
race was closely contested and aU
three runners look promidng material lor future meets.
Two heats wen necessary to decide
the men'* 220 yard race. Stewart
(Arts '34) won the flrd heat and Dirom (Sc. '32) won the second. The
final was won by Stewart In 24 2-5
sec, Dalton (Arts '34) winning second
place and Dirom coming third.
"Farmer" Forsyth won his fourth
event by a safe margin when he
romped over the 220 low hurdles in
28 2-5 seconds. This lad seems to be
a bundle of untiring energy, and certainly "did himself proud" last Wednesday. LuttereU (Sc. '35) and Coventry (Sc. '34) took the second and
third places.
The 880 relay races proved as exciting as ever, with the lead changing
to first one team and then another.
Arts '35 won the ladies' relay in 2
min. 2 4-5 sec, with Arts '33 and
Arts '32 close behind. Arts '34 were
victorious in the men's relay, the time
being 1 min. 42 4-5 sec, and Arts '35
and Science '35 followed.
The two mile relay event had to
be scratched owing to the fact that
there was no interclass competition.
The jumps, both high and broad,
proved most entertaining to the spectators and produced plenty of close
In the women's broad jump Violet
Mellish (Arts '34) leaped 14.8 feet to
win first place and break her old record of 14 ft. 9 inches by the very
and Aggies with 22 points,
until distance of .6 of an inch, Jon-
phlne Rtid (Arta 'SB) and Laurel
Rowntree (Arte '84) placed ncond and
third. Rolfe Ponyth won tht mm'*
jump with 20.4 ft., LuttrtU (Sc. 'SB)
being ttcond ind Gav Dirom (Sc. '88)
Jonphin* Reid, • freshette, was
winner of tht ladiea' high jump,
during tht bar at 4.3 ft. Nina Jack-
ion (Arte '83) ilao eltand thi* height,
but it she entered the conteri liter
flrd place had been decided *h* hid
to be content with ncond, whUe
Glady* Munton (Arte '33) and Marjory Lang tied for third. Dirom and
Forayth tied tor top place in the men'*
high lump, both failing to get higher
thin 5 ft. 3ft Inch**. C. LuttreU who
showed.a nice form of jumping, waa
In th* pole vault Gavin Dirom only
made two jump* to win flrd place,
and didn't attempt to jump over nine
feet Gwyer (Sc. '84) mw thnt easy
print* in thia event and cleared the
bar at 8 foot to gat them, miking
only tht ont jump. Alfy AJlen (Sc.
'35) thought ht aaw a red chance to
bring in another point for hi* daaa,
but found that eight feet ran be a
long way up for a Uttle boy.
Gladys Munton brought five points
to Arts '33 in the ladles' basketball
throw which she won by a throw of
66.9 feet. D. Lawrence and L. Stone-
house, both of Arts '35, were second
and third.
Throwing the hammer for Science
'35, Kennedy won first place with 56.7
feet. McGuire and Gwyer of Sc. '34,
were the other two to place.
Gwyer (Sc. '34) gave the javelin
quite a send off and took top honors
in this event by a toss of 118.4 feet.
Nicol (Arts '35) was ncond and Gom-
enlouk (Agric.) third.
Shelling (Sc. '35) just beat Walker
(Arts '35) by a tenth of a foot in the
discuss throw when he made 84.3
feet.   Gomeniouk (Agric.) was third.
Dirom broke ht* own record by a
little better than a foot ln the shot
put event when he made a tost of
38.2 feet on his flrd attempt. Sdence
'35, represented by Kennedy and
Shelling, won ncond and third places.
Thanks to tht management of Ralph
Thomas every event had been run
off by a few minutes pad five, and
the lntenst was kept up so weU that
the crowd stayed to the lad minute,
making the meet on* of tha moat successful ever held on the campus.
Referee—Dr. J. G. Davidson.
Starter—Col.  Logan.
Timers—Mr. Muter, Dr. Shrum, Mr.
Brandreth, Col. Wilkin.
Track Judges—Prof. Boving, Dr.
Sedgewick, Dr. Harris.
Jumping Judges—Prof. Lighthall,
Prof. Knapp.
Field Judges—Prof. Hare, Prof.
Canadian Rugby
New Executive
An important meeting of the Can-
•dian Rugby Club wat hdd In Arte
108 yesterday noon, it which dec-
Uont for thf forthcoming year took
place ind plmt for tht find dinner
meeting of the year wen dltcuased.
Tht nutting wis started by voluntary contribution! In cath or
I.Q.U.'a towardt purchasing gift* of
•preclation for coach** Doc. Burke
and George Price who give to freely
of their tun* tad experience ltd.
ataaon and throughout this spring.
After thi* llttl* affair, Johnny McLean, pad preddent, called for nomin-
ationt for captain of noxt ye*r"s Big
Four aquad. Result wit tht unanimous choice of Dick Farrington.
Dick wtil be weU nmembtred for
bit playing at and on th* big team
tad year, and for tht capable manner in which he it looking after the
Senior City aggregation thia yttr.
Two honorary prtridtnte wen elected, Protestor Dayl* and Doctor
Shrum. Doctor Shrum haa been tfU-
iited with tht Canadian Rugby Club
so long that he ia counted aa one
of the gang; Professor Davis 1* an
:ardent and enthusiastic supporter of
the gridiron game.
Al Pike, who wat drip manager
lad year hat moved up to the president's chair, with Roy Eyre aa vice-
preddent. Doug McCrimmon hold*
down the business manager'* job,
and Arnold Cliffe wttl look after
pubUclty. Claire Donddson will
keep tht minute* of dl meeting! and
write aU the letter*, being dected
to the position of grand scribe or
secretary. The new executive will
choose a strip manager next term.
After elections, the meeting turned
to discussion of the final wind-up
bean feed, and although no definite
time and place was set the majority
expressed the dedre to have a ban^
quet In Union College some night
next week.
As there was no further business
to  be  discussed,  the  meeting
PUGET SOUND Blue and Gold Squad
Oppose Vanconver Rep
In McKechnie Cup Tilt
At the request of the Students' Council, lectures will be
cancelled from 2:00 to 3:00 p.m.,
on Wednesday, March 22nd. On
that date, the CoUege of Puget
Sound meets the University of
British Columbia in an Intercollegiate Track Med.
Games for next week
Monday, March 21 noon—Semifinal, Education vs. Sc. '32 or Theologs.
Tuesday, March 24—final, Arts '34
v?  winner of above.
If Education or Sc. '32 win, final
will be played at noon.
If Theologs win, game will be
played at 3 p.m.
Senior team meet at North Vancouver Ferry at 2:10 p.m. Saturday
when tickets wiU be distributed.
E. Young Elected
As President Of
Eng. Rugby Club
The English Rugby Club hdd its
annual spring meeting lad Wednesday afternoon. The secretary Chris
Ddton gave the annual report of
the club, showing that a highly successful year had been held. Al-
though no cups or awards of an in-
trinric nature were won, it was the
generd consensus of opinion that
rugby had flourished on the campus,
and that it had served as a true medium for clean play and sportsmanship.
Ted. Clark, the retiring president,
detaUed the activities of the executive for the year, and then called
for nominations for president. Esson
Young was nominated and was elected unanimoudy. The officers,
honorary and active are as follows:
Honorary preddent, Col. F. A. Wilkin; preddent, Esson Young; vice-
president, Roy Machonachie; secretary- treasurer, Hickman Tye; business manager, Christopher Dalton.
The years activities have been
quite vigorous with four teams entered in the city leagues, and one
McKechnie Cup team. Play was suspended for the latter part of January because of adverse weather conditions, but since then the teams
have had plenty of practice and
After the meeting there was an
informal gathering of McKechnie
Cup players, for election of captain
for the coming year. Dick Nixon, retiring captain, called for nominations
and Dave Ellis was duly elected,
with Art Mercer, vice-captain.
Varsity Athletes To Match Skill
Against Tacoma College Next
Wednesday—All Lectures
Cancelled Alter Two
Advance raporta from Tacoma Indicate that a itreng track aad field teem
from the CoUege of Puget Sound wtil
rnikt tht trip north to do battl* with
Virelty'i cinder dan on Wednesday
mat Cotch Raymond 8. Sewird,
mentor of the Logger*, plant to bring
14 or 15 men with him in in tffort to
take thf blu* Mid gold squad.
Tht yldton In h*ndlcipp*d by t
number of pr*-nason InjurUs, indud-
ing among them their sprint star,
Lloyd Doty. Doty has a badly turned
ankla, ind it a doubtful darter.
Gordon CampbeU, pole yiulttr and
Javelin thrower, la reported with ■
wrenched knot.
two C. P. S. viteran* who m*y
taki a lot of betting in Roy Carlton, weight thrower, and Eddi* McCoy, crow country flyer. Carlton it
i footbaU dar of note. McCoy won
the C. P. S. cross country run * few
week* ago, but rinct tint timi •
number ot hit own team mate* havt
keen thowing him thin* heel* in practice.
Rex Weick and Stan Betel, Puget
Sound hurdlers, 'are both expected to
give B. C.'t timber topper* * merry
battl*. Gov. Teats, who hold* the
northweri conference record in the
half milt, it expected to hit hi* stride
by Wednesday. His bed time for the
880 Is 2 minutes, 3 seconds, which
should give Varrity'* middle distance
men plenty of competition.
Tht U.B.C. squad for th* meet will
be chosen from Stewart, Forayth,
Dirom, Stott, GoodfeUow, Pi CampbeU, Ormsby, Gwyer, Lutterel, Hedreen, Nichols, Walker, Wright, Bardsley, Patmore, CampbeU, G. AUan, A.
Allan, Sinclair and Clarke. Any others
wishing to make the team for the
Puget Sound meet must turn out on
Saturday at 3.00 p.m. for the find
work-out on the track, after which
the team will be picked.
Events on the card are the 100, 220,
440 and 880 yard dashes, one and two
mile runs, a mile relay, hurdles, pole
vault, high and broad jumps, shot
put, discus, and javelin throw.
A pep meeting wUl be held In the
Auditorium on Wednesday noon ,and
a tag day will be held to help defray
expenns of the visitors. Lectures will
be cancelled after 2 o'clock next Wednesday afternoon to allow everybody
to take in the med, which begin*
promptly at 2:30 p.m.
Varsity's Last Chance To Remain in the Running for McKechnie Cup—Vancouver Rep
Team Strong, But Varsity Optimistic
And In Splendid Condition
This Saturday at Brockton Point, 2:30 p.m., will be the
scene of an epte struggle between the Varsity McKechnie ruggers and the Vancouver Reps. This game is scheduled Jo be ont)
of the fastest and most exciting seen for a long time for it is
Varsity's last time to remain in the running for the Cup.
Last November, the team lost to Vancouver by two points,
last February it beat Victoria, and two weeks ago they lost
to Victoria. What happens this Saturday means a great deal
to both Islanders and Vancouverites.
The Vancouver Rep team is highly optimistic for not only
wing forward. Of tha othtr forwards^
Htdlty, BeU-lrving, Smkltr, or Mitchell, will probably b* ln the front
row with iPearaon Roger*, Brown or
Senkler in the back.
B1U HaU, who received t bid li|
Injury ltd game at fuUback, will not
bt out, hit place being taken by Court
Cleveland, who ha* b*en displaying
great pottntiilltit* at this podtion.
Morning practices and Wtdntadty
afternoon work-out* under the' *agl*
tye of Coach "Buck" Yeo hive teen
the team devolop Into a amooth working unit Win or Ion tomorrow, they
should go down fighting every inch
of the way.
The Rugby Club are doing aU In
their power to put out a team worthy
of copping tht cup, and tht officiate
are anxioua to hav* tho dudent body
do their dun by nsponding to fhrir
plea for support. Ticket* can be had
for the moderi sum of twenty-five
cent* on the campu*, and every purchaser is assured of his money's worth
many times over.
dp they bout nvtral of tht mm who
made plan* in tha Japann* team but
•ko do they claim th* rirongtri and
•porttart iggngition of pigridn handlers thit hit ever npn—nted Vancouver in tht McKechnie nrie*.
. Several of the Ea Varrity atars of
former yetn wtil tlto b* ntn on tht
City roster. BUI Lock*, skipper in
1928 and leader of tht team thit tra-
veUed Ead in 1029, wUl be playing opposite hi* old team mate. Art M*rcer.
Bud Murray and Bruce MacKedle wUl
probably be among tht forwards;
thty an both former wearer* of th*
Blue and Gold.
However, in. spite of this imposing
array of talent tint wiU oppon thtm,
Varsity nmains undaunted.
In spite of a y*ar unusually fuU of
accident*, rickness and eUgibUity lay
off*, the team haa fought back hard
and wiU imerge tomorrow as hilt and
hearty aa ever.
Ed Senkler, who broke hi* ankle
lad November, i* back again ln fine
condition tgrinri tiie Rep*. Hit n-
appearance wUl mean a lot to the
Bill Robbins, veteran of untold
garnet, is out with a strained leg,
but his place is being filled capably by
either Bell-Irving or Brown. Bobby
Gaul is dlU absent from Varsity, but
otherwise the three-quarter Une will
be as usual, consisting of Ddton, Art
Mercer, Ken Mercer, Ellis, Murdoch
and Owen with Hickman Tye at halfback.
Captain Dick Nixon wiU be playing
Anyone Intended In entering
for tiie Dunlop Road, raw on
Good Friday, which ia over a
five-mile count, may obtain
further Information from either
Goorge Slnctalr or George Allen.
LOST—In the library on Wednesday,
a whole term'* lecture notes, WUl the
one who haa them pleaae nturn them
to G. P. Hogg? 32 nward.
Tonight at 7:30 Varsity tackles Quilchena on the Hill Club's courts. The
Students will present a stronger lineup than hitherto and expect to give
their opponents a good battle.
J. J. McLoughlln, B.A., M.A.
Day, Evening and Correspondence
Classes in Junior and
Senior Matriculation
Corner of GranviUe and Hastings
over Vancouver Drug
Where Pad Students an 'Passed"
Special Offer
to Studenta now extended to
Members of
Students' Families
Geo. T. Wadds
Studio: Ground Floor
1318 Granville St.
Sey. 1002
Values TeU
No matter what price you
want to pay, you are always sure of the greatest
value for the amount, in
SPALDING Athletic Merchandize and Clothing.
424 Hastings W.
rrin. 5401 Trin. 5402
New Designs
Frat. Emblems
We specialize in this
work and solicit your
"Jud When the Bus Stops"
P. G. 87 Night CtU* Elliott 1201
PubUc Stenographer
4479-lOth Avenue W.
Manuscript*, Essays, Then*, Etc.
Mimeographing — Multlgraphlng
"I Make a Good Essay Bettor"
We Thank You
Yjy ITH hundreds and hundreds of students,
vv intimate   little   parties  at   Scott's   will
stand out always with other pleasant memories
of the years at U.B.C.
As long as we remember, Scott's has been a
students' rendez- vous—partly, of-course, because of its convenient location—but also, we
believe, because of the friendliness that has
grown up between the management of Scott's
and the student body generally.
As this is the final issue of "The Ubyssey" for
the term, may we here express our appreciation of this happy relationship, and hope that
it will be long continued.
the Chef
722 Granville Street
near Birlcs
Track Meet - Puget Sound vs Varsity- Wednesday


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