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The Ubyssey Jan 9, 1934

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 v^x^mifr*
HbttaHftf
VOL. XVI.
Issued Twice Weekly by the Students' Publications Board of The University of British Columbia
• VANCOUVER, B. C, TUESDAY, JANUARY 9, 1934
No. 21
Totem Photographers
Demand Red Lipstick
White Collars For 1934
Staff Diligently At Task Of Arranging Sittings
Leaves  U. B. C.
Work on the 1934 edition of the Totem has now progressed
to the photographic stage. The auditorium stage is again being
used this year by the Artona Studios, in order to make it mpre
convenient for the students. The sittings will begin on Thursday, and will follow the order in the following lists. All students are requested to be punctual.
Men this year are to be "white
collar ads," women playing the counterpart, according to the Totem photographer's instructions. The men are
asked to wear white shirts and
"quiet" suits, and the women are
to use a Uttle more lipstick and to
dress their hair as they do ordinarily.
It has been decided to make a
charge of twenty-five cants for a retake, unless the fault ia due to the
photographer. The reason for this
Is that atudenta not liking their photographs ask for a retake on tha
grounds that they don't like thtir
hair or the stripes in their collars.
So follow the photographer's instructions and help the Totem staff.
The following is the schedule:
Thursday, January 11
9:00 Jack Bourne
9:05 Agnes Burg
9:15 Margaret Clark
9:15 Mary Cook
9:20 Annie Ensor
9:25 Margaret Fotherglll
9:30 Doris McDiarmid
9:35 Donald McKinley
9:40 Tom Nlvan
10:00 Herbert Barclay
10:05 George  bioor
10:10 Ernest Brown
10:15 Bertrand Hillary
10:20 Mary Kato
10:25 Elma   Newcomb
10:30 Hope Palmer
10:35 Alice   Roberts
10:4!) Marian  Ross.
11:00 Reginald   Bromiley
11:03 Murial   Christie
11:10 Dorothy  Fowler
11:15 John G.  Gray
11:20 Robert  McDonel
11:25 William  McKeown
11:30 Ruth   McLennan
11:35 Dan  Quigley
11:40 Doris Robinson
1:00 Arnold Cliff
1:05 Shiosaburo Korenza
1:10 Eleanor Leach
1:15 Howard  McAllister
1:20 Kathleen McFarlane
1:23 Robert McMaster
1:30 Elsie Nelson
1:35 Elizabeth Patmore
1:40 Nathan Nemetz
100 Catherine Sanderson
2:05 Sidney Smith
2:10 Wilhemlna Stokvis
2:15Mackay Whitelaw
2:20 Phyllis Waetover
2:25 Jean Balfour
2:20 William Cornwall
2:15 Oordon Hilker
2:40 Oeorge Henderson
8t00 Clara Hutchlrtaon
St 05 Walter LydUtt
3:10 Charles  McCadden
3:15 I. Morley
8:20 Doug. McCrimmon
3:25 Harry Pearson
3:30 William Stott
3:35 Kenneth Telford
3:40 Kenneth TYyon
Friday. January 12
9:00 Mary Robejts
9:05 Kay Spence
9:10 Evans Lougheed
9:15 Norman Hacking
9:20 Gordon Brand
9:25 David Pugh
9:30 Chris Dalton
9:35 Boyd Agnew
10:00 Muriel Wales
10:05 Ruby Williams
10:10 K.n Mercer
10:15 Zoe Brown-Clayton
10:20 Nancy  Miles
11:00 Betty Black
11:05 Violet Thomson
11:10 Arthur Mayse
11:20 Fred  Richards
11:25 John  Cornish
11:30 Darrel Gomery
11: ia Connie  Baird
1:00 Don McTavish
1:05 Harry  Roberts
1:10 Dorothy   Smith
1:15 Gordon Strong
1:20 Milt Owen
1:25 Jim Miller
1:30 Tad Jeffries
1:35 Dick Elson
Exchange Views |
V i /
TEETH GRINDING
The exchange papers to be reviewed today turn out to be very
depressing. It isn't bad news or anything in them, it's just the fact that
they are all pre-Chrlstmas editions,
and it makes one realize how tempus
fugits. They're full of misery about
coming examinations, which should
be buried deep in the past, being all
over and done.
IDEA
The University of Washington always seems to be in the throes of
producing a new and revolutionary
idea about something. The last one,
you'll remember, was the flurry
about abolishing the diabolical custom of examinations.
The Washington Daily for December
18 reports a change in university
methods which they hope to utilize
in the future. There was nothing
definite about practical application
but the stage where a faculty committee of 18 members had been appointed to discuss it was reached.
The University ot Washington Is
now functioning under what is
known as the Minnesota plan. The
suggested change is that upper-classmen should be freed from close supervision, and instruction of freshmen
by the best professors instead of inexperienced undegraduatcs be given.
A feature of the new plan was a
closer contact between advanced students and professors. This is the plan
utilized at Oxford University. In
America it is known as the Chicago
plan, because the University of Chicago is unique in the United States,
putting  the  theory  to  practical  use.
WE DO OUR PART
The  Ka  Leo  O Hawaii,  published
by   the   University   of  Hawaii  every
Thursday, bears the noble physiogn-
(Continued on Page 3)
Varsity Professor
Joins Expedition
Dr. C. McLean Fraser of this University, will accompany Captain G.
Allan Hancock of Los Angeles and
Santa Maria, California, when he
sailed in his cruiser, "The Velero HI"
to further oceanographic studies.
Captain Hancock ia undertaking his
fourth cruise along the Pacific shores
of North, South and Central America, and to a number of the adjacent
islands. Among others, the Galapagos
Islands are to be revisited to fill ln
certain gaps in the collecting of the
previous cruises by Captain Hancock
in those waters.
The expeditionary staff comprises
Captain G. Allan Hancock, Director
and Captain; Mr. W. Charles Swett,
Executive Officer and cinematograph-
er; Dr. E. O. Palmer, Physician ;Dr,
C. McLean Fraser, of the University
of British Columbia, hydrolds and
Other coelenterates; Dr. Harold W.
Manter, of the University of Nebraska, representing the Carnegie Institution, trematode parasites of fishes;
Dr. Wm. Randolph Taylor, of the University of Michigan, marine algae;
Dr. Waldo L. Schmitt, of the Smithsonian Institution, Crustacea; and Mr.
John S. Garth, of the University ot
Southern California, ornithology and
entomology.
Th-1 expedition sailed from Los Angeles about Dec. 30, and expects to be
in the fheld for a period of two months
or more.
The Board of Governors of the
University of British Columbia at
the meeting on Dec. 18, granted Dr.
Fraser leave of absence to enable
him to accept the invitation to accompany  this  expedition.
Dr. H. A. Carrothers
Who has been slated for the position of chairman of Premier Patullo'a
new Economic Council or Brain
Trust, according to the dally papers.
Dr. Carrothers haa spent four years
at this University aa Professor of Economics, coming to this province from
the University of Saskatchewan.
Dr. Carrothers will be succeeded
in the Economics Department by Mr.
William Henry Taylor, who has been
appointed lecturer In Economics for
six months.
Mr. Taylor graduated from this
University in 1928, and has recently
been completing work for his Ph.D.
degree at the University of California. He has taught at Reed College.
Portland, and at the University of
Hawaii. He was introduced to his
classeti  yesterday by Dr.  Carrothers.
Wood Appointed
As New Lecturer
The   appointment   is   announced  of
Mr. Charles B. Wood, as lecturer in
the   Department   of   Education   who
will work under Dean Buchanan, acting Head of the Department in the
Hon. Dr. Weir's absence. Mr. Wood
comes to this University from Victoria where he has been an instructor in the Provincial Normri School
since 1924.
He is an honours graduate from the
University of Toronto, and secured
his A.M. degree at Columbia University, New York. He has also taken
two years postgraduate study in Education" at Teachers' College, Columbia, and at the University of Chicago.
He has spent six months investigating teacher training in Europe under thc Teachers College.
' Since returning to British Columbia
he ha. spent two and a half years in
the elementary schools, and was principal of Cumberland High School for
four years.
Fellowships,
Scholarship
Available
The Royal Society of Canada is
awarding ten fellowships of $15o!
each eligible to Canadians engaged in
advanced research . Applications will
be received up to February 1934, by
Laurence J. Burpee, Secretary of the
Royal Society of Canada, Victoria
Building, Ottawa. The forms and
regulations 'may or obtained from Mr.
Burpee.
Graduates of any University in the
British Empire are eligible for the
Sir William Meyer Studentship ln the
History and Geography of India. This
scholarship Is tenable for two years
at the University College, London,
and has a value of about 2600. Further information may be obtained
from the registrar. Applications must
be made before June 1, 1934.
A cash price of $50 will be given
by the Robert Owen Foundation to
tha writer of the beat essay not exceeding 3000 words on one of the
following subjects:
(1) Why and how existing industrial enterpriaea should be oganized
on a eo-operative basis.
(2) Study of co-operative effort by
unemployed citizens.
(3) The place of co-operative so-)
cietles within a socialist state.
The conteat ia open to all persons
under thirty living ln Canada, lite
essays should be mailed to the preaident of the Robert Owen Foundation,
Mr. H. E. Langford, 91 Gothic Avenue, Toronto, before March 15, 1934.
The name, address, occupation, place
and date of birth and education received must be enclosed on a separate paper. The essays become the
property of the Robert Owen Foundation and may be published by
them.
Students Prefer
American 'Culture'
Questionnaire Shows
Henry Ford Beats George Bernard Shaw In V. S. Popularity
Liberty Magazine Awarded top Place In Popularity Poll
Carnegie Obliges
With Fifty Grand
The Age of Miracles has not yet
passed. A generous and unsolicltated
gift of 850,000 has been presented to
the University by the Carnegie Institute.
The Institute set aside a sum of
1200,000 to be divided between the
four Western Canadian Universities.
It was suggested that the money be
used for some new and significant
project which will have a stimulating
effect on the morale of the Universities. The choice of the project Is
left entirely to the Universities themselves as they best know their own
needs. The Institute thought, however that the money should be used
for one really worhwhile job instead
of being divided into several small
jobs.
President Klinck has called a meeting on Wednesday, Jan. 10, for a
joint faculty committee to acquaint
them with the details of the grant
and to discuss the projects. Several
departments hava already submitted
proposals, either singly or jointly with
other departments. It is felt that in
accordance with the wishes of the
Institute it would be better to start
(Continued on Page 3)
Hydroids Descend
On Dr, Fraser
Imperial recognition, not in the usual shape ol medals or titles, but in
that of two elaborately sealed and
corded packing cases, has descended
on  the  University.
The cases, containing part of the
Emperor of Japan's collection of hydroids, minute marine animaculae,
were addressed to Dr. C. McLean
Fraser, head of the Department of
Zoology, who has been asked to
check up on the classification which
has been done in the private biological laboratory of the Imperial
Palace at Tokio.
Dr. Fraser was recommended to the
Emperor as the leading authority on
this type of life, and the person best
qualified to undertake the work, by
a prominent American scientist who
was Inspecting the Imperial Laboratories. He haa the largest named collection of hydroids in existence, his
catalogue containing over 25,000 cards.
In addition to this he has an intimate
acquaintance with the animals,
achieved in Investigations covering
the coasts of North America from
Florida to Hudson's Bay, and from
Alaska to Mexico.
An additional recognition of Dr.
Fraser's capability has recently been
made public; he has been invited to
accompany an oceanographic expedition of American scientists on a trip
to South America and its offlying
Pacific islands, the only Canadian
who has been included.
When it is learned that the only direct use of hydriods la their preparation for hat ornaments, their pursuit
appears to be only of academic interest, but further investigation
shows that they form an imporant
element in marine- economy and piscatorial diet. When they are thus
linked up with the price of caviare
and canned salmon the Interest that
Emperors, scientists and fishermen
show In their habits is easier to understand.
NOTICE TO ALL GRADUATES
AU graduates who have not
been In communication with the
Totem Office are asked to fill In
their time-tables and hand them
In to the Totem Office on or before Wednesday, January 10. It
Is Important that this Is done
immediately. AU grads must
watch the lists appearing In the
Ubyssey and must notify the
staff at once If they cannot keep
their appointment for their sitting.
A recent survey by Professor F. H. Soward of this university among Canadian high school and university students on
their opinion towards the United States has revealed some interesting and sometimes amusing facts.
nln, Vincent Massey, Stephen Lea-
cock, Lord Beaverbrook, Tim Buck,
Admiral Beatty (heaven knows why)
and Percy Williams.
When it came to prominent Americans Mr. Roosevelt was overwhelmingly tha first choice. In tha High
Schools he received 531 votes to 927
for Mr. Ford. Lindterg, Rockfeller
and Hoover ware tha next choices.
Even Oeorge Bernard Shaw had hla
admirers as a prominent American.
The University followed closely on
the results of the High Schools.
Among those included in the University vote were Al Capone, Bobby
Jones, Helen Wills Moody, Mr. Hearst,
Luther Burbank (dead a nuipber of
years), Aimee MacPherson, Walter
Winchell, Will Rogers, Mae West and
The Forgotten Man.
The most widely read American
magazine in Canada among studenta
is Liberty, the report revealed. This
was followed by the Saturday Evening Post and several other magazines
of like cultural level. At this University the National Geographic was
first, but the Saturday Post, Atlantic
Monthly, Literary Digest, Reader's
Digest, Liberty, Current History,
Harpers, and Cosmopolitan were favorites. The Seattle P.I. was the most
widely read American newspaper in
Vancouver and Victoria. The New
York Mirror, (a lurid * tabloid) was
read by many high school students.
Movie magazines and confession stories were widely circulated.
MucLean'o Magazine was the  most
Perhaps the most noteworthy results obtained were the large measure
of friendliness evinced towards the
United States by young Canadiana.
This waa strongest amongst High
School atudenta but University studenta were alao very friendly on the
whole. The reasons for this were
shown by the answers to seme of
the other questions on the survey.
The large majority of students had
relatives, friends, or very cleee connections with the United States. American radio programs, magazines,
newspapers, and moving pictures
were almost universally preferred.
One of the Interesting facts revealed was that Kingston la overwhelmingly the most English In its
sympathies of any city in Canada.
Victoria hardly differed from Vancouver or Winnipeg, in its American
outlook. High schools and University were very closely related in the
results obtained. The cultural standards revealed at any of the Institutions were remarkably low.
When usked who were the most
prominent living Canadians, High
School students voted overwhelmingly or Mr. Bennett. He received 473
voes to 251 for Mr. Mackenzie King.
Strangely enough Lord Bessborough
received 86 votes, an enlightening insight into the intelligence of many
high school students. The governor-
general is hardly a Canadian after
two years residence. Dr. Banting received 80 votes while the late Sir
Arthur Carrie and Mr. Beattie of tlie
C.P.R. were runncrs-up,   Jimmy Mc- j wid-oly   read   Canadian   magazine.   It
Larnin was a prime favorite in Van- I was the first choice of all magazines
eouver, but was unmentioned elsewhere. Victoria voted loyally for
Torchy Peden, while the prairies were
enthusiastic for hockey stars,
At the University of British Columbia, Mr. Bennett also led the van
easily". He was followed by Sir Herbert Holt, Mr. King, Mr. Beattie, Sir
Arthur Currie, Mr. Woodsworth of
the C.C.F., and Dr. Banting. Others
receiving votes were Jimmy McLar-
Seven Fall Prey
To Xmas Exams
by either High School or University
students. Apparently this Canadian
magazine seems to strike the general
intellectual level of the Canadian
people. Its popularity among University students seems difficult to
understand.
Among English magazines Punch
and John o'London were the local
favorites. English periodicals were
more widely read in the east than
west.
Among all classes of students, the
favorite radio program was the Chase
and Sanborn hour by a large majority. American moving pictures were
also largely preferred to English, although not completely. High School
students preferring English pictures
Seven students of the  University wero convincwi that they were mote
have been asked to discontinue their
attendance because they failed to
make the required 50 per cent in
the majority of their subjects in the
Christmas examinations. Six of these
students took their first term at the
University in the Faculty of Arts
during the Fall session. The seventh
took the second year in the Faculty
of Applied Science.
Four other students, who made good
marks in a few of their examinations,
yet failed to make up their minimum average of 60 per cent on the
whole, having gone below 50 per
cent in their others, will also be absent from the Spring session unless
they can show definitely that it is
to their advantage to continue as partial students, taking only nine units,
the equivalent of three subjects, instead of the regular fifteen units.
Under a similar plan, fourteen students, eight of whom are members
of the faculty of applied science, will
continue their university courses,
taking nine units ot thoee subjects
best suited to their own standings.
moral,    and    consequently    shouted
their approval.
The majority of opinion towards
Americans was friendly and sympathetic. Although hostility, jealousy,
or suspicion was stronger In the University, it waa almost negligible in
the High Schools.
NOTICE TO ALL CLASS
EXECUTIVES
It has been decided to run
cuts of the Class Executives In
the Totem thia year instead of
class groups. AU executives
therefore, are asked to hand In
their time tables before Wednesday, January 10, to the Totem
Office.
The fee for photography is
one dollar 11.00). The student
must bring his money with him
at the time of sitting.
NOTICE
A meeting of the Royal Astron-
These students may complete their omlcai Society of Canada, Vancouver
courser during the summer session, Centre, will be held in the Science
thus not losing ar entire year. Building Tuesday, Jan. 9, at 8:15 p.m-
The number of those requested to The jd,,^,. ^h ^ professor W. H.
leave compares favorably  with  last
year*, figures, when fifteen students
dropped out.
MATHEMATICS CLUB
The Mathematics Club has been invited to attend the meeting of the
Astronomical Society on Tuesday,
Jan. 0, at 8 p.m. in Science 200. Mr.
Gage is to addresr. the meeting.
Be On Time For
Totem Sittings
Gage, who has chosen for his subject "Variable Stars." Everyone welcome.
LA CANADIENNE
A meeting of the club will be held
this evening, Tuesday, Jan. 9, at 8:00
o'clock, at the home of Miss ELspeth
Lehman, 2746 W'.st 38th Avenue. Miss
Dallas, Honorary President, will address the meeting. Directions—take
No. 7 car along 41st Ave to Trafalgar
street; w_1k north to 38th avenue,
and number.
k Page Two
THE    UBYSSEY
Tuesday, January 9,1934
/PO
World Trophy Leaves U.B. C.
When Stanford • California
Team Downs Varsity 10 -S
One of the largest crowds in y*art tees
California squad upset dope bucket
Varsity assumed early lead but hard fighting
visitors score in last minutes to win
T
| STOP PRESS!
According to word received
Crom Students' Council laat
night, Hay, Henderson and Clement are the only men on Senior teams ruled aa ineligible.
Hay and Henderson were
freshmen members of the Senior
"A" Basketball   squad,  while
i   Clement   waa    a    sophomore
j   member of the  first division
[   English Rugby team.
^'ii—ii— —'i— i— i — i __ — — —
I). B. C. Soccermen
Play For Santa
During Holidays
FIRST DIVISION SQUAD WINS 3-1
OVER SECOND DIVISION
Before a crowd estimated at between two and four thousand the University of British Columbia English Rugby team
lost to a hard fighting squad from California 10-8. This victory
gave the visitors the World trophy emblematic of the Pacific
Coast intercollegiate rugby championship.
The game was one of the most spectacular exhibitions
played this year, although it was by no means a perfect exhibition of the English code. The Californians, knowing little of
the finer points of the game, had plenty of fight and earned their
victory.   With the exception of the first few minutes the Blue
and Gold team disappointed ito aup-<$ —	
porters. The tscrum played well,
heeling the ball frequently to the
threes who spoiled opportunities to
score by dropping the ball or holding
lt too long.
This is the first intercollegiate game
that has taken place here for 6 years.
Since that time the World trophy
haa been reposing in the library gathering dust. This win by the visitors
from the south will probably renew
interest in the contest and lt is to
be hoped that this Is the first of a
long series of such encounters.
Dalton Scores For U.B.C.
Dalton was the fair headed boy for
Varsity when he scored all of Varsity's 8 points in the first ten minutes
of play. Clear, Wyman and Lewis
scored for the visitors. Much amusement was afforded the spectators by
the sight of Jack Walton, red headed
scrum man from Stanford, chasing
the St. John's Ambulance men all
over the field In order to slake his
thlr-t. Whether he thought there
was rum in the little flasks or whether he really was thirsty is not known.
In the opening few minutes of play
it looked as if Varsity would whitewash the visitors After a scrum
attack Ken Mercer, Legatt and Dalton
shuffled the ball around between
them till finally Dalton crashed over
for the only student try. At this
stage of the game Varsity looked
good. The scrum was heeling the
ball cleanly and the threes passed
the ball often and well. However,
that didn't last long; the California
men began to tackle and the Blue
and Gold three line fumbled or were
caught with the bp.ll. repeatedly spoiling many chances to score.
Clear Goes Over For Try
The rest of the half was a ding-
dong battlo. Play veered from one
end of the field to the other, both
teams coming near to scoring several
times. Vartity's scrum packed better
than the Californians but when it
came to open field play the visitors
were superior. The next play
brought the crowd to its feet when
Keisel of California broke through
the Varsity backfield by fast stepping Dave Pugh who tackled him
from behind. Just prior to this Dalton had added another 3 points to
Varsity's total with a free kick. Clear
of California opened the scoring for
the visitors when after a series of
scrlmages near the Varsity line he
went over for a touch. Lewis, visiting five-eighths, converted The half
ended with Varsity still ahead 0-3.
Wyman Does It
During the second half play was
largely confined to mid field. Occasionally one team or the other would
make a break but hard tackling by
both squads prevented any scores.
Fumbling by the inside threes on
both teams lost them many opportunities to score. The winning score
came after Ray Lewis had essayed
a field goal from the Varsity 20 yard
line. The ball rolled behind the
touch line and George Wyman ran
past Bobby Gaul to fall on the ball
and tie the score 8 all. Lewis converted to put the visitors ahead 10-
8. A few minutes later Bill Swable
of the U. of California, broke away
and It looked as if the Californians
wou'.d score again; Bobby Gaul however, made a beautiful tackle to prevent a score.
Teams:
The teams wire as follows:
California —Irelan, Swable, Klesel,
Hudson, Warren, Lewis, Fuller, Baer,
Alnscough, Tatum, Wyman, Pinottl,
Walton, Clear, Hagar.
Varsity — Brand, Dalton. Leggatt,
Gaul, Al. Mercer, Ken Mercer, Tye,
Harrison, Clement, Upward, Pearson,
Senkler, Morrison.
INTERCLASS BASKETBALL
SCIENCE LEAGUE
Jan. »- Sc. 34 vs Sc. 37
Jan. 1ft- Sc 35 vs Sc. 36	
Jan. 23— Sc. 34 vs Agri	
Ian. 30- Sc. 37 vs Sc. 36
Feb. ft- Sc. 35 vs Agri.
Feb. 13- Sc 34 va Sc 36
Feb. 20- Sc 37 vs Agri.
Fab. 27- Sc 34 ve Sc 35
Mar. ft- Sc. 36 va Agri.
ARTS LEAGUE
Jan. 11- Arte 34 va Arte 37
Jan. 18- Arts 35 vs Arts 38
Jan. 25— Arts 34 vs Theolog.
Feb. 1— Arts 37 vs Ana 36
Feb. ft— Arts 35 vs Theolog. '
Feb. 15- Arts 34 vs Arte 36
Feb. 22— Arts 37 vs Theolog.
Mar. 1- Arts 34 vs Arts 35
Mar. ft— Arte 36 vs Theolog.
Ace   Basketmen   Ineligible
Although so far as Varsity was
concerned soccer games were nonexistent during the exam period and
the ensuing holidays, nevertheless
some of the soccermen managed to
squeeze in a bit of ball-booting.
On a soggy Saturday afternoon in
the first part of December when
teams representing the 1st and 2nd
Division of the V. and D. League
m.t for Santa Claus' benefit at Con
Jonos Park, the customary seat of
better footbtll, Bill Wolfe, Russ Stewart, and Paul Kozoolin turned out
for the senior aide.
First Division Wins
Millar McGill was unanimously
chosen for a defence position, but
did not take part in the game on account of a previous leg injury. Despite unfavorable playing conditions,
all our boys performed well. Tha
final score read 3-1 for the 1st Division. Incidentally, they had to play
in the sweaters of the Chinese Students, Varsity's traditional rivals, but
kept their shirts on  (!)
New Men
In order to strengthen the Senior
team Varsity's management recently
brought up two promising lads from
the Juniors who, it is hoped, will
soon be at home in higher company.
They are Bishop Thurber, basketball
adherent and former Junior Soccer
captain, and Gerry Sutherland, track,
rugby, and "rassling" star. Thurber
has already had some experience
with the Seniors, but Sutherland has
yet to receive his baptism.
Line Ups
As this is the last month for effecting transfers of players, Varsity's
personnel is likely to remain thus:
Stan Greenwood, Millar McGill, Jock
(Waugh, Ernie Costain, Russ Stewart,
Bill Wolfe, Hughie Smith, Paul Kozoolin (c), Jack Martin, Archie MacDougall, Dave Todd, Tong Louie,
Bish Thurber, and Gerry Sutherland.
Game Saturday
Varsity's finest game in the new
year wil probably come off next Saturday, and the boys will all be out
practising tomorrow, on their "flood-
less field." And they certainly have
something to practise for now that
Renfrew Argyles, from the disbanded
Senior City League, and the Regent's
entry ot the late Pacific Coast League
have thrown in their lot with the V.
and D.
Track Club Chooses
Jan. 19 As Date For
Capital City Meet
MANY ARTS MEN TO BE PLACED
IN MEET
Varsity's long anticipated track meet
with Victoria is now scheduled to
come off on January 19, aa decided
last night at 'he Student Council
meeting.
The coming meet promises to be
full of excitement. As it will be held
on a cement floor, it will be necessary for the contestants to wear canvas Fhoes, and to do the jumping
events on mats.
Quite a number of events have
been drawn up by the Track Club,
and the Victoria team are expected
to enter a goodly number of men in
each one of them. They seem anxious to show Varsity just what they
can do in the way of track.
The events scheduled will include
the following: 110 yards, 220, 440, 880,
1 mile, a relay of four 220-yard laps,
broad jump, and high jump.
Don McTavish, president of the
Track Club, has been lining up Varsity's material. It is probable that
the boys of the cultural faculty will
include in their entry Heron, Roberts, Wilson, and the inevitable McTavish.
Probably Max Stewart will enter in
the 220, Bob Osborne in the 440, Barclay in the 880, and Sid Swift in the
mile The complete line-up will be
announced in the next issue. Of
course, Bill Stott, Varsity's sprinter,
will do his part.
Victoria has waived for this chance
for a long time, as the meet was originally to take place before the
Christmas holidays, but was postponed in order to give those in the
Island City more time to advertise
the meet.
"Just Where The Bus Stops"
Pt. Grey 67, Nights Calls Ell. 1065L
K. B.PATTIRSON, B.A.
PUBLIC STENOGRAPHER
4479 W. Tenth Ave.
Essays, Theses, Etc. French
Patronize  Your  Advertisers
SWIMMING NOTICE
AU swimmers who wish to get a
place on the team which Is to meet
the U. of W. on Jan. 20, are requested
to clve their names to Captain Jack
Bourne immediately.
"I know the power of light
to attract trade, which, in the
grocery business, is of first
importance," says Harold S.
Johmon,architectof the new
Stop 6- Shop Market, Hollywood. "The merchandising
results since thit market
opened have exceeded my
fondest expectations."
RALPH HENDERSON FRANK HAY
.The Senior "A" Basketball team suffered a serious setback when
Ralph Henderson and Art Hay were declared ineligible for failure to attain the required percentage required to play on a University team. Henderson and Hay are both freshmen. There is a remote possibility that Hay may
be allowed to continue playing for the students.
"Team Name" Contest
To Be Settled Saturday
Great agitation which took place last term about a name
for Varsity's teams, will be settled on Saturday, as announced
by the sport editor.
Names are supposed to be those that have some connection with the University and must be original. Many good names
have been handed in, such as Cougars, Grizzlies, Bears, Huskies,
and Wildcats, but unfortunately, these are already being used
by other Pacific Coast universities. Some very inappropriate
suggestions have been received, such as Mohawks, Aztecs, and
Incas.
Some of the cognomens are certainly of a warlike nature,
such as Tartars, Cossacks, Philistines, Prowlers, and Corsairs.
Names of birds also have prominence in the list, for instance:
Thunderbirds, Seahawks, Golden Eagles, and Seagulls.
The sports staff have gone into huddle over this momen-
tious question and have chosen what they think are the five
best names for the teams. These are as follows: Corsairs, Spartans, Thunderbirds, Golden ^Eagles, and Musqueams. We are
NOT going to approve such names as Peewits, and Sea-Slugs,
such as were suggested by some clever fellow.
This issue contains a ballot form, on which we ask you
to mark your preference for the name for Varsity's teams. A
box is placed at the foot of the Auditorium stairs, in which to
deposit ballots when filled in.
Basketball
Team Loses
Two Games
Champion  Blue  Ribbon  and
Gilmore Squads Nose Out
Varsity
Instead of their expected Okanagan
trip the Senior A hoopers had to be
content with a Blue Ribbon game in
Victorla and a visit from Gilmor
Oilers from Seattle. For some reason or other they lost both of these
contests.
The Victoria game was a fut,
cleanly fought contest which Varsity
dropped by one point. The final
score was 25-24 for the Ribbons.
Bardsley, sharp-shooting Varaity forward, missed a set up in front of the
basket with three seconds to go.
There wasn't anyone within a mile
and the basket would have won the
game for the Blue and Gold.
The second game was with Gilmore
Giants, conquerors ot the highly
touted Washington Huskies. Not a
man on the Seattle squad was shorter
than alx foot two. Varsity put up a
game* fight, trading basket for basket with their towering opponent*.
At the half-time mark Varaity was
actually ahead by one point, 15-14.
The Carbon eaters turned on the
heat at the opening of the second half
and soon had a substantial lead.
About half way through the laat
stanza Varsity started to click again
and put on a nice rally. However,
they failed to catch Gilmore and the
game ended 42-30 for the Seattleltes.
"Chipper" McDonald put up a fine
gamt, looping in long shots from all
angles to amass seven points.
Canadian Rugby
Meeting Today
The Canadian Rugby Club will
meet Tuesday, Jan. 16, in Arts 106 at
12:10 noon. The purpose of this meeting is to encourage new men to turn
out for tho Senior City Rugby team
so that there will be ample new ma-
erial for next year's Big Four team.
If possible morning practises are going to be done away with or largely
curtailed in favor of afternoon ones,
Every man who is even remotely Interested n Canadian Rugby is asked
to be present at this meeting. All of
last vear'j Big Four and interscholastic players are requested to be
present.
Why should I Patronize
the Ubyssey Advertiser
Because—
HIS advertising makes YOUR Ubyssey
possible, twice each week.
Because
YOUR interest is HIS interest—HIS interest is YOUR interest.
Because
HIS stocks are complete and of the best
quality—HIS prices are right—HIS service to YOU is of the best.
Because-
EVERY Ubyssey advertiser is 100 per
cent behind YOUR University.
Because—
Each Ubyssey advertiser and ONLY the
Ubyssey advertiser DESERVES YOUR
PATRONAGE.
The UBYSSEY
Publications Board, University of B. C.
Phone P. G. 206 for information Tuesday, January 9, 1934
THE    UBYSSEY
Page Three
There are two Bairds on the Campus, but only one Chave
FANNY
FRESHETTE1
DIARY
I had swell holidays except the
night my brother's fraternity had a
rushing party at our house him being
the preaident and said very unen-
thusedly that he guessed I could be
hla partner If I kept my big mouth
shut and tried to act like a lady for
once, which he didn't really mean,
liking nw really though you'd never
know it. Any girl which goes to a
rushing party with the president has
to look out for themaelf, and being
my brother on top of that I found
myself more or leu draped over the
couch not exactly having a hotcha
time when what should blow in but
a member from Washington with red
hair and a squint and a PINK shirt!
The first thing I knew my brother
was yalling in my year to be a honey
and show tlie nice boy our new baby
kittens down in the basement, and
being no dumb girl I soon found out
why they wanted him out of sight,
smelling like a brewery or something
and having on a pair of spats for ear-
muffs of all things. Even then I
didn't know the score till I heard
the door click, and there I was
locked down in the basement with a
pink stuffed shirt that Insisted on
throwing billard balls at my mother's
prize pickle bottles. About one
o'clock thoy camo and let us out, the
Washington brother being asleep ln
the sawdust bin and me so mad all
I could do was splutter and my
brother says he'll take me to their
formal to make up for it but I'm not
.so numb as I look.
CARNEGIE  OBLIGES
WITH FIFTY GRAND
something quite new than to use the
money to bolster up some course or
project already begun.
It must be possible to bring the
chosen project completely up to date
within the limits of the $90,000. The
approved project will be sent to the
Carnegie Institute for approval before being made public.
"O. mother dear, what is that mess,
That looks like strawberry jam?"
"Hush! Hush! my child, that is your
pa.
Run over by a tram."
Patronise  Your Advertisers
Lights   On
Examinations
Examinations are an institution invented for the purpose of showing
that life Is no bed of roses. The student discovers thia any time after
December the eighth while the -acuity
discover it from one to two o'clock
on almost any night after December
fifteenth.
There are three ways in which to
prepare for a nexaminatlon. First cram
so hard the night before that you are
too befogged to remember anything.
Second, go to bed early and come to
your examination M fresh as a daisy
to look brightly at the walls and
celling for two hours. Or, third, study
weeks ahead and forget everything before the crucial day.
If ydu are lucky, you may find
someone you can hire to write your
paper for you. Such people are asily
recognised by their red hair, hangnails, club feet and cauliflower ears.
Bring a good time with you. You
can have great fun playing noughts
and crosses between the names and
damns on your writing board pretending you are two people about twelve
years old named Herbert and Clarence.
Though lt is very amusing trying to
read the funny things other people
write on their papers, care must be
taken, as professors having practically no sense of humor may fail to
see this funny.
It i* great sport to annoy your neighbors, and privately give yourself
points based on the height of their annoyance. You can groan and sob over
your paper, and when this stales, try
coughing and sniffling, which is quite
as effective. With a little practice you
will be able to do this without a
handkerchief; however, handkerchief
snl-fling for the beginner Is satisfactory.
A vexing sound can be produced by
drawing small dots, such as in drawing
sand on a geology paper. This can
also be used in a graphic representation of bone in almost any of the
"ologies"  except "chron."
Nothing stamps a beginner as such
more than failure to recognize the
correct moment for departure. There
are two alternatives. First there is an
hour and a half, approximately, before
full time. The attitude should be one
of smiling benevolence and silent satisfaction. Secondly there is one quarter
minute, exactly, before full time, when
the attitude should be one of patient
irritation with anyone who blocks
your passage in his frantic ef-ort to
finish his paper.
Examinations are anything but dull
to the resourceful student.
Coming! "Three-
Fingered Joe"
The moat stupendous, amazing, harrowing, blood-curdling tale ever
printed. Beginning next week this
most amazing of all amazing tales
that ever passed the censors will
thrill and chill the University audience. Written under the most uncanny circumstances, this story possesses a fire and vigour unequalled
In modern prose, let alone poetry.
The unhappy author, who made his
last voyage today ln a sealed car In
the direction of Essondale remains
anonymous, his insanity a result of
..mendous strain of his intense
creative effort. Order your next
week's copy now and begin thia story
at tho beginning. How logical, how
logical!
Bird's eye view of a prominent
faculty member who while Imbued
with the true Christmas spirit,
tweaked the nose of an equally prominent librarian.
And More Howlers
LET
POKER  HANDS
Bring You This
Alarm Clock Free I
A dependable, sturdy and attractive
timepiece with a musical ring that will
wake you pleasantly In the mernlngl
It's easy Io get and Is guaranteed—
|utt save Poker Hands, use the Turret
Poker Hand exchange boards at cigarette counter* which will enable you
to hasten the completion of your tett.
Soon you will have Poker Hands
enough for any of the many splendid gifts.
Quality and Mildness
urret
C IGAKETTES
SAVE THE POKER HANDS
Paktr Hands art also packtd with Tarrsl
Pip* Tobacco ami Tumi dsartltt Tobacco
Imperial Tobacco Company of Canada, Ltd.
U.B.C. is not without its own
howlers. English I is a particularly
fertile field for this type of agriculture, and every year the "howler
farmer" is rewarded with a satisfying crop of unintentional witticisms.
One young hopeful got his languages mixed and in reply to a question concerning "Pied Beauty" described it as a "beautiful foot."
Another defined "Catullus" as "advanced work in mathematics."
A young Hardy fan blithely quoted
"only a man harrowing clogs."
And "Cargoes" went sadly astray
in the hands of a freshman who insisted that there were "Stately Spanish galliards coming from the isthmus.'
HOW TO MEASURE THE
HEIGHT OF A TOWER
WITH A BAROMETER
First secure a good barometer—any
standard make will do, although it
must be light, accurate and reliable
The reason why lightness is so desir-
abel is that the barometer must be
carried to the top of the tower. Next
pick out a good tower, any sort will
do, provided It Is not too high, as a
large amount of measuring must be
done.
Now go to the top of the tower.
Look over the edge of the parapet,
if there is one. High, isn't it? Climb
hurriedly back to safety and descend
the tower. If there is an elevator, make
use of it, as there is a lot more running
up and down that is as yet unexplained. When you arrive at the bottom, head for any good hardware store
and buy or borrow about 500 feet of
good strong cord—that should be enough.
Next rush hurriedly back to the
tower, and take the elevator to the
top. Crawl on hands and knees to the
edge of the structure once more. Now
go back to the hardware store and
bring up the cord you borrowed. Got
it? Climb the stairs this time, as the
elevator boy will be looking at you
in an inquiring manner by this time.
When you reach the summit of the
tower once more, close your eyes and
count three. This is to resore your
faith in yourself. Next practice tying
reef knots with the cord. Can you do
it? Having mastered the intricacies of
the knbt, tie one end of the cord to
the barometer, using two half hitches.
Now comes the crucial moment in
the whole process. Creep near the
brink of the tower's topmost peak,
and slip the barometer over the edge.
Allow the string to run out until the
crash tells you that the barometer has
reached the ground. If the string runs
out before the barometer reaches the
bottom of the tower, take the elevator
down once more, and bring the cord
and what is left of the barometer up
to the top of the tower for another
try. If the string is not long enough
this time, take the elevator down
again. Tip the elevator boy, he deserves it. Oo to the same hardware
store. Borrow more cord. Keep lowering barometer until you have enough
string to reach the ground from the
peak of the tower.
This is the climax oi the experiment
Tie a knot where the string crosses
the parapet. Now go down by the
tairs and return to the hardware store.
Buy a foot rule. Leave it at the foot of
the tower. Climb the stairs, release the
top end oJ the cord, allowing it to
fall to the bottom of the aforesaid
structure. Take the elevator down for
the last time. Make a face at the
elevator boy, you don't have to be
polite any more. Untangle cord when
you arrive at the base of the tower.
Lay the cord along the ground on a
level piece of ground. Measure it with
the foot rule. That is the height of
the tower. Simple, isn't it.—C. de S.
What a Fool She Is.
Practices her music lesson for hours
and neglects her gums! And she has
an orange tooth brush! Couldn't spare
the time from her music to buy her
own tooth brush. Let her mother buy
it at a 9c aale and got a bullous orange
colored implement that makes a fastidious soul shiver! A tooth-brush, that
moot personal of all personal efflects!
You cannot afford to neglect your
health in pursuit of your pastimes,
study teeth-brush, read books on
teeth-brush, and you will find.that
the Pig's Ear Bristle cannot be equalled. Ask for Pig's Ear, insist on seeing
the trade-mark, a dog's nose.
Noble
Litany Coroner,
Time-honoured
Space
Filler,
Friend
Of tho
Muck
Editor,
Bane
Of the
Reader
Who tries
To resist
Now Is The Time
For All Good Men
A special copyright Insinuation of
Gordon Stead and Don Macdonald,
warbling "The flowers that bloom in
the spring,  tra-la."
The Ubyssey could use a whole staff
of correctors, some day he will be indisposed and imagine the horror of
dear reader on witnessing the following:
"... An enthusiastic audience witnessed the prodinstion of the Frendh
plays produ cesd by the "La Cau
ierie" under the defection of Miss
G6e*$. The leidinh mm, Bub Cor;mm-
(4nsg in the roel fo teh rtavelling
salesman was magnaiflcent oppslte
Kay B'*CEr sa the farmer"s dautghre.
etc. etc.
HLP
Ot pr skis fr Xmas nd wnt upGrs
Mtn t trl m out. Snta els fr gt strps so
hd t nail thm t bta. Also frgt sk pis
s hd t crl up his on hnds nd knees.
Nt tht 1 blm Snta Cls as hs plnty
thngs t thnk f„ bt lt ws dmn awkward.
Smpd int tree nd hd t gt snw plw
t shvl me out. Hv hf pr skis 1ft lso
one hnd, one ankl, thr ts nd gd pr rs
nd nw vcblry.
HEART THROBS
A Letter From Gussie Goulash
Editor, Muck Page,
Ubyhoo, U.B.C.
Dear Miss Gummery,
My heart is bust. The blonde boy I
been having such a admiration for in
my spare time has been bounced,
which would not be so bad except that
he lives in Cow Creek which is in the
Cariboo, which would not be so bad
except that he has to go home, which
would not be so bad except that the
red-haired school-teacher up there has
her clutches on him. What would you
advise as I have lost my appetite
complete? Help me out quick as I got
a invitation' to dinner next week' with
a perfectly STUNNING Sclenceman.
Yours languishingly,
Gussie Goulash, ( Arts 37)
Dear Gussie—or shall I say Miss Goulash:
My heart was tore to bits on reading
your touching and pathetic little history. I had the same experience myself
back in the spring of 1902 and I know
exactly how you feel. As I understand it you have four problems. One,
the blonde boy, two, the red-haired
school-teacher, three, your appetite,
and lastly the PERFECTLY STUNNING Sclenceman. The first two problems are easily solved. I am enclosing
a package of Diamond Dyes. These can
be administered either externally or
internally. They are guaranteed to dispose of your problem either way.
As a solution to the third problem
we suggest you go on a diet. The
fourth problem will undoubtedly take
care of himself, but be sure that you
take care of yourself.
Let me know how you get along,
I   Litany Coroner
it
And
Can't,
And presses
On
And ever
On.
Expecting
Something
And finding
Nothing.
The pMfessora
Must often think
That some
People
Are born
Dumb.
Some, on the
<5ther hand,
Must
Acquire
Dumbness.
The professors
However
Have dumbness
Thrust upon
Them.
A charming portrait study posed
exclusively for the 1964 Totem, by
one of the more intelligent Aggies.
Phooey To Yoy!
girlie. For further advice* please enclose photograph and address of SJCI-
ENCEMAN. Hoping I can take this
problem off your hands,
yours,
MISS GUMMERY.
TEAM NAME
BALLOT
1.   Spartans  I
2.   Corsairs
3.   Thunderbirds
4.  Golden Eagles
5.   Musqueams
Deposit This Ballot Before Saturday in Box at
Entrance to Cafeteria.
"I Was So Ashamed
Of My Dishpan
Hands"
sighed Aloysius, the corner cop, "When
I held them up to stop traffic I felt
that even the garbage wagon drivers
were whispering about them, and I
blushed with shame. And then one
cold day my hands were ao red and
roughened I could not bear to expose them, the traffic went on and
there was a frightful accident. It waa
terrible, terrible!" he groaned and a
tear trickled down hla honest face.
"And then my brother drew me aside
one day and told me confidentially
about my offense, and how I could
correct it. And now my hands are as
white as snow, and so smooth, too.
He advised Bux, the new mild soap.
It is so useful, and inexpensive and
has all kinds of uses. We use it for
dishes, sham poos, real poos, doer
knobs, stove and furnace polish, floors,
colds, coughs and ingrowing toe-nails."
Do not let your hands embarasa
you. Get a free sample of Bux today.
By clipping the coupon below each
purchaser of a Hoffman grand piano
is entitled to one sample package of
Bux, absolutely free. This ofiler ia good
tthis week only. Remember lt Is guar*
anteed to remove every trace of redness from your hands, every speck of
polish from your nails, every scrap
of enamel from your dishpan and
every atom of pattern from your
plates!
EXCHANGE   VIEWS
0
(Continued from Page 1)
omy of the blue eagle prominently on
the top of their journal. We can't
figure it out, because there's nothing
commercial about the paper except
the advertisements; in other words the
staff doesn't get paid.
"We Do Our Part" must signify a
change of hair dress on the staff.
GAG
The picture "Henry VHI" was
showing in California. A group of
California university students waa
sitting tensely watching the guillotine descend toward the swanlike
neck of Anne Boleyn. The report of
the gun which was to convey the
news of Anne's death to Henry
cracked loudly.
From the midst of the college group
came a morose wail, "Annie doesn't
live here any more."
THAT'S GILMOWR NAOWWWW
The Gilmore Globe, publication of
the Glasgow University Students'
Representative Council, is looking for
a slogan. In the past they have had
"Can It" and "Doublln" but with the
eye of the gleam follower, they want
a bigger and better one. How about
"Down, Gilmore."
WHOOPEE
The Fernle Free Press reports thia
tale of crime: "Thieves broke into the
Fernie Club early Sunday morning
and got away with $37 in cash besides some wet goods which they
secured by smashing into about a
dozen lockers. John Jones, who lives
next door, heard the racket, but
thought somebody was .still celebrating, so did not investigate."
A staunch fraternity man chasing
after a rushee who he perceives to
be in the company of a rival fraternity. However, not much chance, because the rushee is figuring on joining a sorority anyway. PigeFour
THE    UBYS.SEY
Tuesday, January 9,1934
(Member C.I.P., P.LP^..)
Telephone: Point Grey 206
Issued twice weekly by the Students' Publication Board
of the Alma Mater Society of the University of British
Columbia, Vancouver, B.C.
Mall Subscriptions $2. per Year.
Campus Subscriptions $1.50, per Year.
„ EDITOR-IN-CHIEF: ,?fortnan Hacking
SENIOR EDITORS
Tuesday: Pat Kerr Friday: ^ohn Cornish
News Manager: Archie Thompson
Sport Editor Dick Elson
Associate Editors: Zoe Browne-Clayton, Boyd Agnew
Associate Spurt Editor: Don Macdonald
Assistant Editors: Esperance Blanchard, Murray Hunter,
Gerald Prevost.
Aadstant Sport Editor: Howard Jones
Uterary Editor. Arthur Mayse
. Feature Editor: Darrel Gomery
Exchange Editor: Nancy Miles
Reportorial Staff
General: Vivien Lexler, Jack McDermot,
Allan Morley, Helen Taylor, Warren James, Viola Ringle,
Donna Lucas, Jim Findlay, Ronald Dodds, Allan Baker
Margaret Ecker, Freth Edmonds
■perti Morley Fox, Clarence Idyll, Ronald Allen, John
Logan, Jack Dick Doug. Manley,
Advertising Manager: Don McTavish .
Circulation Manager: W. E. Simpson
Circulation Staff: W. Tomklnson, D. Jewett, D. Mills
TOTEM STAFF:
Editor: Ted Madeley
Associates: Constance Baird, Harold Jeffery,
Janet l^gtobetiuun^^^^^
atf
TUESDAY, JANUARY 9, 1934
WHAT PRICE EDUCATION?
1-WS—_BSS»»B_-_B__»
The recent »u*vey conducted by Prof esgor
Soward on the attitude of Canadian studenta
towards the United States has revealed some
rather enlightening conclusions.
The fact that Canadians were found to be
friendly towards the United States was not
surprising.   The vast majority were found to
have relatives or friends in the neighbor coun
try and many had lived there.
The question that arises, however, is whether it is beneficial for young Canadians to
be saturated with American movies, radio programmes and periodicals as the survey revealed.  If Canada is to keep her national indi
vtduality, a distinct national spirit must be
fostered. Whether this is beneficial is certainly
problematical.   Nevertheless the only alterna
tive seems to be that Canada must acquire de
finite United States characteristics, many of
which are decidedly detrimental to our national
life.
The general cultural level of young Cana
dians as revealed by their reading matter was
disappointingly low. The favorite reading
material seems to be Macleans and Liberty.
Neither one of these magazines can conceivably
rank as builders of our national culture. The
former magazine displays a regrettably low
standard in its literary quality, while Liberty
frankly panders to the least admirable of the
tastes of the American people.
Unfortunately there seems to be no means
of correcting the situation. High class magazines are beyond the means of the average per
son. Young people are forced to turn to the
cheap trash vended at the corner drug-store.
The only way to save the situation is to edit
cate the national taste through the medium of
the schools.
In this University, through the agency of
the Library reading room, students a*re given
an unique opportunity to read the best period
icals that the United States and Greaf Britain
can provide. Taking the survey as a guide, the
University students have not taken advantage
of this opportunity. What hope is there for
educating the tastes o{ our High School students, when University students prefer the
cheap and vulgar ?
! -
WANNA PICTURE?
Once more it is time for students to rally
to the support of the Totem. A book such as
the annual which has long been considered an
integral part of graduation at the University,
and which has successfully weathered one or
two major hazards, surely deserves definite cooperation. With this in view, we suggest that
students who wish their pictures to appear in
the 1934 Totem, bring in their timetables to
Totem headquarters in the Book Exchange by
January 10, and be on time for photography
appointments.
In past years it has been the policy qf
students for whose benefit the Totem is printed,
to pay little or no attention to frenzied pleas
from the harassed editor. A little forethought
on the part of the students would obviate the
last minute rush which has attended the pre-
appearance of former Totems, and would
lighten the task of the editor.
Class and Club
AND
IVORY
ay ARTHUR MAysc
THE STRANGER GOD
Cultus Tommy went in to his lost pond in
the spring of the year.   He met the Frog, the
Bear and the Raven; and his trail crossed a
strange trail in the twilight.
He never came back.
From August to April, Cultus Tommy
had held his job, then one day he loaded his
packboard at the commissary and left the camp,
behind him.
Only Tommy knew how to find the lost
pond. White men tried at rare intervals, but
when they had crossed the river the trails
ran out like the spokes of a wheel, and they
were left to flounder back through rank jungles
of devils' club to the coast. Many of them said
that the pond was a myth. Tommy, waist-deep
in the rapids with his face to the west, knew
better. The spring was in him, and a glad,
hungry loneliness -that made his burden seem
less heavy. •
Over the river he came upon the Frog, a
very large frog that was jumping unsuccessfully for a mossy rock. Plainly, such a leap
was beyond its power, so Tommy lifted it to
the place where it wished to be. Their eyes
met f<# a moment, and, laughing into the
jeweled stare, Tommy went on with a kind
thought for the first Frog that had hopped
over the Bridge of the Gods in the long ago.
Hours later, he crossed the river again.
The machete that served him for axe and knife
was in his hand now, as he made his own passage through the prickly canes of salmonberry
that snagged his frayed canvas pants and reached up to pluck at his chest, showering him with
delicate blossoms. Where a log crossed a tongue
of the marsh he paused again to wipe the
sweat from his eyes. Skunk cabbage grew here
in a wild, aromatic garden. The big plants
stood straight up ,yellow husks around a spike
of powdery gold, and broad green leaves that
lifted from the mud.
At the other end some big and leisurely
creature was threshing through the tangles.
Tommy stood respectfully aside, machete in
hand, as the Bear came down the log with the
rolling gait proper to a woods' lord. The Indian
was not afraid for the beasts of hinterland were
his friends; he carried no rifle, and he plotted
no harm against them. Perhaps the Bear knew
this, for he stopped with both sets of paws close
together and regarded the man with what seemed almost a grin. Then he went on into the
marsh for his spring tonic of skunk-cabbage
roots. In just such a way, thought Tommy, he
had rolled over the Bridge of the Gods to feast
on the fleshpots of earth, the salmon and berries and white grubs that he loved.
The Raven fluttered down while Tommy
was cooking his evening meal over a tiny fire
among the rocks of the river bed. He shared
freely with it, for this was the wisest of the
mighty Three who had come out of the far
blue places when the world was young. Eyes
half closed he studied it, admiring the glossy
sheen of its plumage and the bold and cunning
set of its head. Simple by nature, he revered
the wise bird and wished it well as he sluiced
river water on his fire and bent with aching
shoulders to his load.
His lost pond was close now. He forded
cautiously . . . and, deep and plain on the
sand-bar at the foot of a pool, his trail crossed
the strange trail. No deer ever walked like that.
Puzzled, the Indian stared down. The Bear
might walk upon his hind legs in quaint mockery on man but the deer never! There were no
tracks past the edge of the sand, but the deer-
footed creature had gone on with a breaking
of twigs in the direction of the pond.
Tommy's heart was glad as he drew near.
He could see the reeds of his pond, and the
water grey in the evening. And the air was
filled with a clear, wistful piping, sweeter than
any bird song, throbbing like the very heart of
the spring. The Raven had come silently to his
shoulder, and he could feel the warm, rough
head of the Bear against his thigh. Somewhere
in the gloom the Frog crgaked him a hoarse
welcome. The Deer-foot trail ended at the door
of Tommy's own cabin, and there the Three led
him, to the music that called in the dusk,
Cultus Tommy crouched with the Old Gods
beside him; and the Oldest God greeted him
friendly-wise, with a hand on his dark head
and the voice of the syrinx a loving whisper
above him.
CHEMISTRY SOCIETY
The Chemistry Society will open
Its second term activities with a meeting at the home of Dr. Archibald,
2046 West 13th Avenue, on Wednesday, January 10. Papers will be given
by J. N. Wilson, R. A. Findlay and
J. A. Spragge.
PHILOSOPHY CLUB
Tho first meeting of the Philosophy
Club for the Spring term will, as in
former years, take the form of a
dinner to be held at the Cat and
Parrot, University Boulevard, Tuesday, Jan. 16, at 7 o'clock. Dr. Topping has kindly consented to address
the meeting on this occasion. It is
requested that all members expecting to attend inform the secretary,
R. Ward, care of Arts Letter Rack,
sometime during the present week,
In order that final arrangements may
be made.
I. R. C.
The first meeting of the year will
be held on Wednesday, Jan. 10, at 8
p.m. at the home of Mrs. W .A. Carrothers, 1549 Western Crescent, University Hill. The meeting will con
sist ef two parts in the first of which
Oeorge Dolsen will give a paper on
"National Attitudes During the Pres
ent Disarmament Crisis;" the second
will be given over to the annual
meeting.
8. C. M.
The first lecture of this term's series will be taken by Miss Constance
Chappell, who haa recently attended
the Student Christmas Conference In
California. Miss Chappell, who teach'
es In a woman's college In Toxyo,
will speak Tuesday on "Obstacles In
the life of the Japanese Student."
A number of vesper atudenta have
been arranged for Friday afternoons,
to be taken alternate weeks with the
Tuesday lectures. Members interest,
ed will please watch the notice board
V. C. u.
All students are cordially Invited
to tne daily meetings ln Arts 304 at
12:05. The first open meeting will be
held on Wednesday, Jan. 16. Further announcements will be made.
LETTERS CLUB
The annual "Original Contributions" meeting of the Letters Club
devoted to the reading of original
work by the members, will be held
on Tnesday, Jan. 16, at the home of
Mrs. H. F. Angus, 4950 Marguerite
street. Mrmb.rs are reminded that
contributions should be written on
standard size paper 18 inches by 12).
with ;i margin <>f I1 a inches. A sealed
cmch.pc bri'rin;T thc till, of the con-
tiibutdm on the outside, and containing the name oi the writer should
also be enclosed.
Please hand in all work to thv sec-
ictary by Saturday, Jan. 13.
Are You Listenin'?
L'ALOUETTE
L'Alouette will meet tonight at the
homo of Wyn Gibson, 3857 West 10th
Ave. Anne McLeod will sing, and a
play wil be put on by some of the
members of the society.
Last night was Lennie Hayton's
wind-up on the Woodbury show. Fio
Rlto, now in Embassy Room, Hotel St.
Francis is likely to replace Hayton who
has had trouble keeping up a first
rate dance unit because of union
trouble. Crosby starts his second 13-
week cycle January 16.
• •   •
A judgement of %32,500 was awarded
against N. Y. Daily Mirror and Walter Winchell for libel in favour of
the Fleetwood Beach Club. After his
name was dropped from the Board of
Governors in a prospectus Winchell
referred to the club as a "racket." This
is the first time in a number of suits
that Winchell has received adverse
verdict.
• •   •
Will Rogers and Emil Coleman's
combo, two of the finest, resumed on
Sunday for Gulf Oil. Oeorge M. Cohan comes back with Al Goodman at
end of 9 weeks. Irving Berlin with
Goodman band take over on May 6
for 5 weeks. Sunday night, NBC-WJZ
network.
• *   »
Phil Spltalny with Mills Bros., Buddy Rogers with Ruth Betting, Ted Fio
Rito and Ted Lewis auditioned for
Old Oold aa Fred Waring et al are
booked by Ford Motors starting February 4 over CBS. Ford Show will
feature guest artist (Mary Plokford?)
and will switch to Friday night ,7-7:80,
NBC red (WEAF) network. Here a
little hope is being hoped for Teddy
Lewis and -his grand band for Old
Oold.
• •  •
One Joky Lemon To:
Eddie Cantor, for his mawkish sentimentality.
Phil Harris, for talking too much.
Dave Rublnotf, for putting on the
dog.
Jergens, for too much plug.
Fletschman's, for cooked testimonials.
• •  •
Anson Weeks has embarked on a
tour of Northwest theatres with the
possibility that he might be in Vancouver.
• •   •
Who Knows?
—Why "Brother Can You Spare a
Dime" was banned _rom airwaves?
What has happened to Carlto Coon?
Why 300 people registered "dislike"
of Ben Bernie in Literary Digest Poll?
Why Cantor goes in for that tear
wrenching? Why Jack Pearl was yanked?
Short-hots:
Sherlock Holmes resumes shortly.
Earl Burtnett replaces Clyde McCoy
in Drake Hotel, Chicago, January 20.
Ben Bernie will do "The Great Ma-
goo" for Paramount. De Wolf Hopper
should not be missed on Realsilk next
Sunday. Bing Crosby is a big hit in
Japan on flickers and on records. Paul
Whiteman replaced Don Bestor in
Biltmore Hotel, New York, Saturday
night. Chesterfield paid Stokowski
114G for 13 15-minute broadcasts. Jimmy Lundfoot replaced Cab Calloway in the Cotton Club Sunday night.
Collins Returns From
N.F.C.U.S.Parley
The N.F.C.U.S. finance committee,
with Mark Collins as chairman, managed to cut down the per capita fee
of "'liver-ties belonging to the federation from 10c tc 5c for a two year
period beginning April 1, 1934, at tho
recent conference held in London,
Ontario. All Canadian universities
except Queens and Western Ontario
were represented.
During the first day leports were
given and discussed by the various
delegates and these included one by
J. A. Gibson who i. a former Rhodes
Scholar of U.B.C. Mr. Gibson is acting in the capacity of observer for
the l.S.S. and ha.i taken a great interest in international student organization work. The federation formerly «>ponsored a travel agency which
took care of university students who
wished to visit other countries but
this agency has since passed out of
being and a European body, called
the CUE., has taken Its place This
organization procures cheaper rates
for travelling students.
Student problem discussions were
a ver> important feature of the conference, and each delegate was permitted to bring up or discuss any
problem of his university.
Sneers and Jeers
By the Campus Crab
New   Annual
Prize   Award
The offer of Mr. J. F. K. English
of Kamlops, B.C., of an annual prize
of $25 to be known as the John Marr
Memorial Prize has been accepted by
the Senate and the Board of Governor. ^Th'i prka will be limited to
students ln the Teacher Training
Course or students doing graduate
wo'k for tht M.A. degree with Education as a minor, and will be awarded for the best essay on "Some Phase
of Secondary Education."
Four Tussles For the
McGown Cup Slated
"Resolved that the economic salvation of Canada lies in the socialization of finance and the major industries." This topic will be the bone
of contention at four intercollegiate
debates for the McGown Cup, Jan.
19. The four westo?n Canadian Universities will take part in the series,
each university being represented by
a home team and a visiting team.
The schedule for the debates is:
U. of Sask vs. U. of Man.—Saskatoon.
U. of Man. vs. U. of Alta—Winnipeg.
U. of Alta. vs. U.B.C.—Edmonton.
U. of Sask. vs. U.B.C—Vancouver.
Nathan Nemetz and Edward J. rox
will represent U.B.C. at Vancouver
against the University of Saskatchewan. Both have been prominent in
debating circles, Nemetz having debated against the University of Alberta, here two years ago and against
University of Saskatchewan last year
at Saskatoon, and Fox, exchange student from Western University against
the Imperial Team st London, Ontario, this however, being his first
McGown Cup debate.
At Edmonton Jim Ferris, ex-premier of the Older Boys' Parliament and
participant ln the radio debate at
Alberta last year, with Jack Sumner
a prominent C.C.F worker here during the recent elections, will carry
the banner for the U.B.C. against
University of Alberta.
The McGown Cup has never been
held by the U.BC. and is now in tne
possession of the University of Alberta. The teams which receive the
highest score out of a possible of
six points will be awarded the trophy.
Essays       Theses
French German
KAY MUIRHEAD
TYPING
General Stenographic Work
Terms Moderate
Work received In Arts Bldg.,
Room A.
Night Calls, Bay. 2253 L.
Editor's Note—
The Office Crab, having the usual
crabby disposition, an observant eye
and a typical reformer's real, has
been making a pest of himself, blowing off accummulated steam generated
through his perpetual simmering over
the features of the University that
annoy him... He has been persuaded
to leave the Pub staff ln peace If he
la allowed to Inflict his dislikes upon
Ubyssey readers at intervals. LOOK
OUT BELOOOOOW!
• *   *
In my first public appearance as
a licensed critic, I cannot, of course,
discuss all the local subjects and objects that have displeased me of late.
Gentle reproofs administered to the
staff, the co-eds and the club-frat
membership will have to suffice me.
Did you ever consider the peculiar
type of mentality that must be responsible for confining undergraduates in B.C. to Latin, Oreek, French
and German in their etudy of languages? Which not only confines us
to these subjects, but actually forces
them on us?
Of all people in the world that
would benefit from the knowledge
of Oriental languages, Russian and
Spanish, our province leads the list.
Thia ir so self-evident that the reader
certainly does not need to be reminded of our geographical poeitlon
or qut present and future trade development to realize the advisability,
or rather necessity, of including auch
courses in our curriculum. To In
without them is illogical, Impractical
and abaurd.
On the other hend, what benefits
do we obSdn from our present
courses? Latin benefits e few pre-
mods, who would be all the better
off tox attending their chosen medical school from matriculation, instead
of jumping from one college to another after their second year. Oreek
is a negligible Quantity except for
theologs., and might well be confined to the two institutions of that
class that grace our campus. They
provide their own Hebrew instructors, and might as well carry their
own load of Oreek. German is ot
use in science, but translations of fall
important works can be obtained. Of
course we are a bi-lingual country,
but how many of our gradautes use,
talk or read French unless they are
engaged In perpetuating the vicious
circle by inflicting that useless and
' never successful accomplishment on
a younger generation unwilling to
receive  it?
'!<       *       #
It was my unhappy fate to be seated
opposite ri library table a short while
ago, at which was a full complement
of co-eds. Out of some thirty, all
but three had the same coiffure, wave
I for wave and line for line. All that
I was able to observe had exactly
the same shade of finger nails. The
types of female were as diverse as is
usual in such an assembly.
This peculiar uniformity seems to
continue throughout the entire female student body.
Tlie instinct for suitable adornment,
for intelligent decoration appears to
be a negligable quantity in the coeds if the University.
• *   •
Tlie prevalence of clubs, frats and
societies strikes me as one of the
chief causes of the lamentable flatness and apathy of the undergraduates of the U.B.C. Instead of a few
well organized and active bodies we
have a superfluity of anaemic groups
attempting to carry on college activities .
We need go no further to illustrate
this contention than to cite some of
the fatuous and ill organized performances that have been inflicted
upon wearied audiences in the auditorium, some of the dismal failures
of worthy enough movements, some
of the empty grandstands and galleries that have greeted our athletes
during the past term.
Unless the ambition of the undergraduate is confined to having no
man or woman leave the university
without the cachet of having been
president or secretary of some pec-
wee organization, an ambition that
seems possible of fulfilment under
present conditions, we should ruthlessly eliminate nine-tenths of this
useless lumber and confine our energies to a few -trong, well officered,
active organizations that might
achieve something at which we could
point with pride, instead of continuing to support a multitude of wrangling, ineffectual and absurd lodges
and clubs of the moral and intellectual standard of Darktowns' "Sons
and Daughters of I Will Arise." The
soonei we are rid of the flock of
Supreme Grand Invincible Potentates
that shed their effulgence over our
blushing campus and get down to
business the better.
Jlacklng insists that the word "news"
is plural. The other day he telephoned a reporter and asked,
"Are there any news?' '
"No," answered the reporter, "Not
a new."

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