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The Ubyssey Mar 3, 1921

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 AGGIE  NUMBER
Sty? Hbparg
Issued Weekly by the Publications Board of the University of British Columbia
Volume III.
VANCOUVER, B. C,  MARCH 3, 1921
Number 16
Cleopatra Captivates
Orpheum Audience
ROOTERS' CLUB HOLD THEATRE
NIGHT
As for ourself, we were engaged at
the fascinating indoor sport. The lights
were lowered. We could feel it—almost
a caress. Ah! the lights were turned on;
we looked up into the eyes of the girl
at the other end of the paper streamer.
She smiled down from the balcony, we
smiled up from the pit. It was theatre
night.
Of course everybody knows that .the
police did not nab any of the gang and
that a few street cars were held up by
the parade and that the Rooters' Club
executive handled the thing well. The
yells and songs went off very well.
Some good new yells were delivered,
while the old ones were given with their
wonted vigor. If we might be permitted
to criticize we might say that the word
"h—11," while very effective as an expletive, whispered softly yet earnestly
when one hits one s finger with a hammer, has not the sonorous qualities desired in a large building with so many
outsiders and our own girls present. The
orchestra were all decked out in blue and
gold skull caps, and most of the ladies
on the stage wore the University colors.
We concluded that some of our heart-
smashers must be behind the scenes.
After Science had been hanged in effigy
and seeing the obsequies of Arts, we, the
Aggies, knew for sure that we are the
only live faculty.
Three stunts were put on by the students. Eby and Wolfe-Jones created
amusement by robbing the safe of the
Students' Council. The male quartette,
with piano and saxophone accompaniment, were encored several times.
Toward the end of the show we could
hear giggles from behind the scenes. It
developed that the Temptation girls were
helping to decorate the ensemble of the
gigantic one-act production. The curtain
rose, disclosing Cleopatra (Harold Offord) in her charming boudoir. Antony
(Scbtty Rushbury) was looking amorously at her. The female slaves strewn
around the apartment added a touch of
the East to the scene. Looking at their
gowns, being something of a philosopher,
we could not but let our mind dwell on
the evolution of the modern evening
dress.
Towers Tied in
Sensational Game
Where Presidents Grow
DEBATERS ACHIEVE DOUBLE
VICTORY
After being defeated in their first three
attempts this session, the debating forces
of British Columbia regained their lost
prestige on Friday evening by winning
from the Idaho teams both at home and
abroad. The contest will be recorded in
the annals of student history as a great
triumph for our Western University.
The subject of the debate was, "Resolved that the adoption of the reciprocity
proposals of 1911 by Canada and United
States would be beneficial to both countries." Harry Cassidy, Arts '23, and
Charlie Traves, Agriculture '21, argued
the affirmative case against Warren
Greathou.se and L. A. Thomas, the visiting representatives. At Moscow, Lome
Morgan, Arts '24, and H. W. Heaslip,
Arts '22, were also successful in presenting the negative argument for U.B.C.
The debate was held in the King Edward High School, and attracted an audience of over four hundred students and
friends. In no other contest has there
been displayed a keener grasp of the subject and an appreciation of the fundamentals of debate. It was quite clear
that the visitors had received careful
coaching in public speaking, while our
(Continued on Page 8)
'VARSITY DETERMINED  TO WIN
CUP
Hockey that would turn professionals
green with envy, and thrills that would
make the sphinx shimmy for joy, were4
features of the game last Friday when
'Varsity- tied Towers in the first game of
the finals for the senior championship of
the city. The game was ours until the
famous goal that wasn't a goal took the
heart out of our team in the third period
and gave Towers the chance to save
themselves from defeat.
During the first period 'Varsity outplayed and outskated their opponents to
such an extent that the series would have
been won in those few minutes had not
over-anxiety and excitement on the part
of our men caused them to miss almost
certain goals. Rush followed rush, Shields
and Hunter both missing the net by losing their balance at the crucial moment.
Ben Fellowes showed up well for Towers, but was rendered non-effective by
"Steve" and "Jasper." A little over halfway through the period the latter engineered a rush and passed to Lou, who
scored. A minute later the same trick
was repeated. The supporters went wild.
Fifty-nine seconds later MacKenzie
scored for Towers. The period ended
with 'Varsity- pressing hard.
Two minutes after starting the second
period Lou scored on a hot shot that
Scott never saw. Shields and Lou nearly
scored a little later, arid "Pinky" missed
one by an inch. Towers came back hard,
with Ben Fellowes, Russel and MacKenzie showing up well. > The three of
them combined on a neat rush, and, after
a mix-up, the puck was located in our
nets.
Hard checking and wearied players
slowed the pace for a while. Pinky
worked like a Trojan, but had hard luck
and hard checking. Towers were dangerous when the whistle blew.
The third period was as fast as ever.
'Varsity missed another open goal here,
and sensational stops by Broadfoot and
Scott made the' spectators gasp. Rush
followed rush in furious succession, until
the disputed goal took the life out of team
and supporters, and Towers, pressing
their advantage, scored again.
The whole team played as they never
played before, . THE   UBYSSEY
March 3, 1921
Clothes with
a "Rep"
for Style
and Pep
There's a certain unusual Class
in Semi-ready clothing that appeals
to the young men who strive for an
ultra-smart appearance.
THOMAS
& McBAIN
LIMITED
655 GRANYILLE ST.
The Palm Garden
Corner Tenth and Willow
7bu need some relaxation about i
o'clock in the afternoon. Tou can get
it over the tea cups at the "Palms."
Bring  your  friends.
We serve good Lunches, too; and
our Candy is top-hole.
Young Men's
Smart Shoes
Black and several shades of Brown
Calfskin, on the latest popular lasts
—perfect fitting—maximum service.
Price $10.00
Cluff Shoe Co.
Limited
649 HASTINGS STREET, W.
THE HOME OF GOOD SHOES
A PAGE FROM THE DIARY OF AN
AGGIE PROF.
3 a.m.—Was roused from slumber by
quaint music of Arts students enjoying a
gentle discussion outside office door.
Waking further, found this, to be passing
hallucination, the real noise being argument between wife and child. After
some suasion (not moral), Hick Baba
subsided.
6.30 a.m.—Washing day. Enough said
for early morning hours.
7.00 a.m.—Early to wait on hens.
8.15 a.m.—Another early to wait on
car.
8.30—Ditto — cranked car and so to
office, where were extremely much people and infinite business for two hours.
11.00 a.m.—Cranked car and so to
Braemar to discuss extension course—
sometimes by the uninformed mendaciously called a holy day for those concerned.
11.30 a.m.—Discourse on potato bugs
with special mention of their favored application to become members of the
Alpine  Club.
12.30 p.m.—So alone to New Westminster Exhibition to judge corn, carrots,
rye and Scotch barley. Had no time to
leap the dips in special University car,
but saw others enjoying it. Thence to
heady and inspiring meal at White
Lunch.
2.30 p.m.—Afternoon to Point Grey to
meet students. Drilled potatoes in
square formation—curled cabbages. Gave
dissertation on the psycological effect
upon the individual of calling soil "dirt."'
4.30 p.m.—So to office to sign letters
and meet hardware agent re toothbrushes for spike-tooth harrows and
curry combs for root hairs.
6.30 p.m.—So home to dinner and wife.
Having dined, to Y.M.C.A. to harrangue
audience upon similarities in character of
mangels and potatoes, sealing wax, cabbages and kings.
10.30 p.m.—Home by luck — to read
Jiggs and to bed after a peaceful day.
Note:—The Editor feels it incumbent
upon him to explain to the reader that
the peculiar style of the manuscript is to
be explained by the fact that the jitney
carrying the students to the 2.30 lab. was
delayed by a tree trunk across Marine
Drive, a broken down lorry a little further on, and later by a blow-out. Whilst
awaiting them the Professor picked up a
copy of Samuel Pepy's diary which
seems so to have captivated him that he
was unable, for some time, to revert from
the style of this 17th century diarist to
his usual well-rounded periods.
The Modern Hiawatha
He killed the noble Ayrshire bull;
Of the skin he made him mittens,
Made them with the fur side inside,
Made them with the skin side outside;
He, to get the warm side inside,
Put the inside skin side outside;
He, to get the cold side outside,
Put the warm side fur side inside.
That's why he put the fur side inside,
Why he put the skin side outside,
Why he turned them inside outside.
AGGIE.
LOST—A gold wrist watch, with black
strap, in the University. Please return to  Mary Bryer, '24.
IRELAND    ft    ALLAN
.BOOKSELLERS AND
STATIONERS
Depot for
FOUNTAIN  PENS
and
LOOSE-LEAF   NOTE   BOOKS
Phone, Seymour 602
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•
AFTER THE SHOW
Try the
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W»Sil»r>«lSl^^
PHONE /JCOO Day and Night
Seymour OvilA SERVICE
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Office:   725  Dunsmulr Street
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PRINTERS
— of —
"The Ubyssey"
for 1920-1921
WE MAKE A SPECIALTY  OF
College Annuals
Magazines
Ball Programmes
Etc., etc.
578 SEYMOUR STREET
VANCOUVER,  B. C.
High-Grade Work and Quick
Service characterize our up-to-date
establishment. March 3, 1921
THE   UBYSSEY
U.B.C. ENTERS FINALS
Last Tuesday night the 'Varsity senior
puck-chasers fought their way into the
finals for the Savage Cup by defeating
the Monarchs 1-0. The game was fast
nearly all the way through, play being
fairly even, with 'Varsity showing up in
combination work. The only goal of the
game was perhaps the greatest fluke of
the season. There was a scramble around
thp blue line in the third period, and out
of it Jack Wilson sent the puck skimming slowly towards the Monarchs' net.
Just how the Monarchs' goalie managed
to miss it is a mystery.
End-to-end rushes were the feature of
the game, and the shooting of both teams
was deadly. Both goaltenders were always on the job, however, and they put
up a wonderful exhibition. During the
third period the pace slowed down a
little, but after Wilson got the lone counter the speed went up a notch, and both
teams were travelling at high during the
rest of the game.
The team: Broadfoot, Wolverton,
Plummer, Hunter, Morrison, Shields,
Wilson and Ternan.
'VARSITY  IN  SEATTLE
The senior basketball and the senior
ice hockey squad returned on Saturday
from Seattle, where the first intercollegiate games were played on Friday
and Saturday. The senior basketball
squad were completely outclassed by the
University of Washington team, losing
the game on Friday night 48-18, and on
Saturday night 42-15. The members of
the team report that the Washington
squad is certainly right there. Every man
is a dead shot, and they can find the
basket from any part of the floor. The
team there spends two hours a day at
practice under their coach, and the training rules are very strict.
The ice hockey squad did a little better,
holding the U. of W. team to a 3-3 tie.
This is fairly good, considering that it
was the third game of the week for the
U.B.C. squad, and that they were on
strange ice. The members of the team
feel confident that they will take the
measure of the Washington squad on
Saturday, when they play a return game
here at LIS.
WETS BEAT DRY
Naramata ladies, champions of the
Okanagan League, visited Vancouver last
week, and, desiring to meet the best
ladies' basketball team in the city, they
were matched against the Varsity senior.
Our girls won both games, the first on
Wednesday evening last, at Normal, when
the visitors lost out 31-12. The senior
ladies played their usual excellent game,
having the advantage over the visitors in
passing and shooting. The Naramata
team checked up hard, but they were unable to stop our team. In the second
game, at the Y. M. C. A., on Saturday
night, the visitors nearly captured the
honors, the score at half time being 7-2.
When the final whistle went, however,
the score was 12-8 in our favor; our team
held the visitors during the second half
down to one point, and at the same time
dropped five field baskets.
The 'Varsity intermediates sprung a
big surprise on Wednesday evening when
they downed the "Y' Towers, would-be
champs, of the Senior City League, jn a
fast exhibition match. The final score
was 42-18 for us, the Towers never having a chance.
B.A., B.S., B.S.A.!
Feed 'em up!   Feed 'em up!
Feed 'em up on hay!
Roll 'em up!   Poke 'em up!
Choke 'em up with straw!
'Varsity!   Agriculture!
Rah!   Rah!   Rah!
Phone, Seymour 7853
C. HERMANN, Proprietor
U.B.C. Students Should Patronize
HERMANN'S    BARBER    SHOP
ROGERS BLOCK, 454 GRANVILLE STREET     •
FISHING TACKLE
We  are   daily  receiving  factory   shipments   of  Tackle  from   English   and
American makers.
Steelhead, Dollies and Spring Salmon fishing is real good at present.
Let us help you select your Outfit.
TISDALLS   LIMITED
The Complete Sporting Goods Store
618 HASTINGS STREET, WEST
Phone, Seymour 152
RUGGERS   LOSE   RE-PLAY
'Varsity intermediate ruggers lost their
opportunity to bring some silverware
home to the University on Saturday
afternoon, When they were defeated by
the Central intermediates 15-3. The intermediates had captured the Province
Cup by virtue of their win a week before,
but a replay of the game was- ordered
because of the playing of Kenny Carlisle ■
in the first game. The result was that
our squad went into action with very
little enthusiasm, and no support.
The   game   was   strenuously   contested,
however,   the   'Varsity   forwards   having
the better part of the play.    It was the ,
Central back division that won the game, :
for  they  worked  together   like  veterans '■
and  lost no opportunities.    The  'Varsity
defence  had a  strenuous  time  of  it,  but :
the    Centrals   only  crossed  the   line   for
three tries, all of which were converted.
Our only score came early in  the game
when   Bill   Scott  booted  the  pigskin  between the posts on a free kick.
The team: Arkley, Solloway, Peter,
Palmer and Wooten, Purdy, Scott and
Underhill, Hatch, Plummer, Swanson,
Gregg, H. Jones, Gunning and Meekison.
From the Aggie Teamster
• Git dap—Ehi.
Gid dap—Iota.
Gid dap—Delta.
Cannot we brand an "H' on these "We
Are It" societies, and make them "We
Are Hit" clubs, so that they may learn
that we are all of us "hitched" to the
U.B.C, and willing each of us to pull his
or her fair share of the load?
HOCKEY FINAL FRIDAY NIGHT
PREPARE
for the world of
BUSINESS
by taking a short cdurse in the
Sprott-Shaw School
of Commerce and Telegraphy
Day and Evening Classes
Phone, Seymour 1810
R.  J.  SPROTT,  B.A.,  Manager.
HARRY    CARTER
Bicycles and Accessories
General  Repairs
Cab,   Buggy  and  Invalid  Chairs
Re-tired
Charges Moderate
C.C.M.
Agent for
"RAMBLER"  BICYCLES
632 Broadway, West
Phone,   Fairmont  1386 THE   UBYSSEY
March 3, 1921
DROP IN
PURDY'S
Next time you're down town
and want a pot of tea or hot
chocolate, with a little something to eat, drop in and order
Toasted English Tea Cakes.
They are served with lots of
butter.
Purbys
Maker of Purdy's Chocolates
675       GRANVILLE       ST.
AVENUE THEATRE
Four Days, Com. Wednesday, March 2
Matinee Saturday
FORTUNE GALLO Presents
San Carlo Crand Opera Company
Ninth  Triumphant  Tour—Company of
100—20 World-Famous Stars
REPERTOIRE
Wednesday, Mar. 2, "Mme. Butterfly"; Thursday, Mar. 3, "Cavalleria
Rusticana," "I Pagliacci"; Friday,
Mar. 4, "Carmen"; Saturday, Mat.,
Mar. 5, "Faust"; Saturday Evening,
"II Travatore."
Musical Director,  Gaetano Merola.
Mall orders now. Seats on sale Monday, Feb. 28. Prices: Evg., $2.75, $2.20,
$1.65,  $1.10; Mat., $2.20, $1.65, $1.10.
Attractive New
Lingerie Blouses
at $2.95 Each
Embracing    models    of    satin-striped
voile with  convertible  collar and finished   with    hemstitched    tucks    and
smart turn-back cuffs;   excellent
value        $2.95
BLOUSE — Of heavy satin-striped
vesting, made with long, tailored collar finished to point, and having smart
turn-back   cufts $2.95
Smart Satin-Striped Voile Blouse—
In over-the-skirt design; has V-shaped
collar and short sleeves.   Each...$2.95
—First Floor
■*/&<*-     /- p  LIMITED
575 GRANVILLE STREET
(Member Pacific Inter-Collegiate Press
Association)
Issued every Thursday by the Publications Board
of the University of British Columbia.
Extra  mural  subscriptions,   $2.00  per  session.
For advertising rates, apply Advertising Manager.
EDITORIAL STAFF:
Editor-in-Chief P.   N.   Whitley
Senior   Editor A.   A.   Webster
(A. H. Imlah
Associate Editors { S., M. Scott
I Miss R. E. Verchere
Chief Reporter A.   F.   Roberts
• rMiss A.  Anderson
J.   C.   Clyne
Reporters \ Bert Sweeting
I Cliffe  Mathers
I Miss  P.  Stewart
Exchange  Editor Miss  P.  I.   Mackay
Literary  Editors » A.   L.  Stevenson
I G. fi.  Coope
BUSINESS STAFF:
Business   Manager L.   T.   Fournier
Advertising  Manager H.   M.   Cassidy
1 D. A.  Wallace
Assistants i H.   G.  Scott
I M. A.  Dyce
Circulation   Manager R.   C.   Palmer
Editor  for the   Week A.   H.   Imlah
TRUTH WILL OUT!
Once upon a time there was a University with courses in Arts, in Science,
and in Agriculture. Now it so happened
that,- in Agriculture, the students were
much fewer in number than in the other
faculties, yet the number of professors
was much greater in proportion. Criticisms were raised by sundry persons,
who said, "Are not we unfairly treated,
and are not the Aggies receiving more
than their just share, and are not our
professors doing more than these?"
Whereupon indignation rose in the bosoms of some, and they did publish their
grievance in the College Paper.
Now the truth of the matter was that
the Aggie profs, did much of which the
Arts and Science students knew nothing.
Besides their regular courses, these professors did instruct classes of soldiers
(for the nation had just completed a
great war). When this work was completed, soldiers' wives were given instruction that they might be better fitted to
help their husbands. In addition to this,
each year these professors did go forth
to various centres in the country, and in
each place met with fifty or an hundred
farmers, and did deliver lectures and discuss problems. Also, when any farmer
through all that land was vexed with a
knotty problem, he would write to the
College of Agriculture, and the best
available information was always sent in
return. Many such letters were received
daily, and each was given careful attention. Nor was this all: whenever there
was an agricultural fair, or convention,
or other gathering of farmers, it was
usually desired that some Aggie prof,
should judge exhibits, deliver an address,
or discuss difficulties. At the College
Farm, too, these professors did carry out
many experiments, and did keep good
animals and birds, and were thus able to
improve farming methods, and introduce
better seed, or better stock.
And when the Arts and Science students   did  hear  these   things   they  were
ashamed, and said, "Lo, these Aggie
profs, do much of which we know
nothing,-and do greatly benefit our fair
land; and we will speak no more against
them, but will publish the news abroad
that others may not be lacking in knowledge, and speak unjustly."
STUDENT PROBLEMS
Students of Arts and Science, do you
ever take time, between visits to the
Orpheum and Lester Court, to ask yourselves such pertinent questions as: "Why
am I at college?' "What part will my
college career fit me to play in the world
of affairs?" "Am I taking full advantage
of the opportunities of college life?"
Perhaps some cynic will reply that we
are here to learn how to go through life
with as little expenditure of effort as possible. We, of the Agriculture Undergrad., agree that we are here to learn how
to achieve the greatest results with the
least work, but our object is not so much
to reduce the necessary effort as to increase the possible achievement. We are
here to find out how to direct our energies along the most productive channels
—how to make every step carry us nearer
to the attainment of some worthy aim;
in a word, how to make our lives contribute as much as possible to the welfare of humanity.
Here, at college, we have an opportunity to see for ourselves that the possible accomplishment of the individual is
limited — that great advances are made
only through co-operation. To those who
criticize the multiplicity of college societies, the prominence given to athletics,
and the frequency of college functions at
U.B.C, we give this answer; The members of the Agriculture Undergrad. regard each branch of student activity as
a means by which we may acquire training in organization, facility in administration, and practise in working together.
The success of every Aggie function is
due to the fact that we realize that each
one of us has a part to play. Every
Aggie student is willing and anxious to
do his or her bit, and we endeavor to so
delegate authority that there is always
something for everyone to do.
By thus entering whole-heartedly into
college activities—dividing our responsibilities, working each for the common
good, attacking squarely the little problems of college life, we feel that we are
fitting ourselves to cope with the greater
problems which will confront us when
we leave our Alma Mater. Accordingly,
we believe that we have a sincere appreciation of the purpose of college training,
a comprehensive realization of the oppor-;
tunities of college life, and a true con-^
ception of the bearing which our student
career has on our future usefulness. In
fact, it may be that, in this respect, the
Agriculture Undergrad. points the way to
the student body of this University.
AGRICULTURE
At the head of all the sciences and arts,
at the head of civilization and progress,
stands, not militarism, the science that
kills; not commerce, the art that accumulates wealth; but Agriculture, the
mother of all industry and the maintainer
of human life.—Garfield. March 3, 1921
THE   UBYSSEY
THINGS THE AGGIES WANT
TO KNOW
What has happened to Kla-how-ya?
Why the professor went to bed after
eating the chicken sandwich?
How many millions were made from
speculation in Aggie dance tickets?
What prompts Prof. Boving to blow
the  whistle at the medleys?
Who was the Science mathematical
(alleged) genius who calculated that
there were three Aggie profs, to each
student?
What the Science man saw on the
night of High Jinks?
Why do our socialist comrades employ
a "Le Faux'   to tell them the truth?
Were the three members of the
Women's Undergraduate Society seen at
a certain cabaret appointed to attend as
censors?
When are we going to have "Punch"
in the reading-room? Also "La Vie
Parisienne," "The Winning Post,' "The
Calgary Eye-Opener," and • "The Police
Gazette"?
Who is the "Sun" editorial censor, and
how much time does he spend in sleeping?
Will some kind Arts "student" tell us
where we' can get bran seed for next
year?
How can we add "more wimmin" to
the Aggie numbers without unduly involving the staff?
Where do our junior profs, spend their
evenings?
Is   Freddie  W   going  to  the  farm
this summer? If so, will he speak of the
joys of farming next fall?
Why have -the profs, been so anxious
to lecture at Point Grey during the past
six weeks?
AGGIE ROAD SONG
L^
orrc8pOT\deT>ce
Editor "Ubyssey."
Dear Sir:—"Women should never forget
that they stand on a superior level, and
when they place themselves on an equality
with men they do but descend from those
heights. It is the natural.instinct of a man
to venerate women—first in the person of
the mother who bore him; next in that of
his wife; then again of the daughter or it
may be of the sister or sisterly friend who
watches over his children.
It is not too much to say that, in all times
and places and under all circumstances
whatsoever, a truly womanly woman will
hardly fail to obtain proper deference from
men."—Carmen Sylva.
There is something wrong. The Women's
Undergrad. number was devoted mainly to
bewailing the fact that the men had not
been nice to them. Personally, I was greatly disappointed with it and with them.
Where there is smoke, there must be fire.
I hold no brief for the man who smokes in
the classroom, even though it has a disinfecting action on the rooms. The street car
seat business has received considerable attention from Emelye and her successors.
Perhaps it has never struck any of those
agitating females that there is such a thing
as "noblesse oblige." To give a lady one's
seat for a languid sigh, as she subsides more
or less gracefully into the seat, is poor consolation for hanging on a strap. While they
may not be ultra-fashionable, the words
"Thank you" are still in use by polite people.
On the other hand, the cars are sometimes full and all the seats are occupied by
ladies. The entrance of an elderly woman,
a lady or gentleman carrying a baby, or a
lame person, are all times when our fair
co-eds may gracefully rise to the occasion.
As yet I have seen only one 'Varsity girl
give her seat to an elderly lady. It will
always Be a pleasure for me to give my seat
to  that young lady.
(Continued on Page 6)
One day a week we go,
We drive out to Point Grey,
To learn to use the hoe,
And toss the scented hay.
We learn to plant and sow,
We learn to cultivate,
We learn to watch the things that grow,
Oh we are up to date.
Roll along!   Roll along!
Chugging all the way.
■Oh what fun it is to ride
In a 'bus out to Point Grey!
Some think this wasting time.
But what is time to us?
What in college more sublime
Than riding in a 'bus?
This happy farmer band
In unity it leads;
There's nothing like it in the land.
Hurrah for the old hayseeds!
CLASSIFIED ADS.
WANTED—Students to sell tickets for
the raffle of our Red Minorca Bull.
FOUND—A monocle, a manicure set
and a bottle of Eau de Cologne with
initials, A.R.T.S.
ARROW
SHIRTS and COLLARS
Follow the
ARROW
and you follow
the Style
E. SCOTT EATON, B.A.,
Principal
Success Business
College, Ltd.
The School of Certainties
Phone, Fairmont 2075
ON MAIN AT TENTH
VANCOUVER, B. C.
©RPHEUM
Week Commencing
Monday, March 7, 1921
Special Engagement
ALICE LLOYD
England's Favorite Comedienne
BERT & BETTY WHEELER
In Bits  of Everything
ASH & HYMANS
In
NOTHING ON THE LEVEL
WILL  M. BLANCHE
CRESSY DAYNE
Presenting Mr. Cressy's One-Act Play
"TOWN HALL TO-NIGHT"
PAUL NOLAN & CO.
The Jesting Swede
OSCAR MIRANO TRIO
A Perch and Ring Thriller
HERBERT HILDA
WILLIAMS     WOLFUS
Present
"SOUP TO NUTS"
A Ruf-fined Comedy in 3 Courses
British Weekly Concert Orchestra
EDUCATIONAL
STATIONERY
STUDENTS WILL FIND IT
INTERESTING TO VISIT
OUR UP-TO-DATE STORE.
WE ARE HEADQUARTERS
FOR EDUCATIONAL STATIONERY — CHAPMAN'S
LOOSE-LEAF   BOOKS,   Etc.
.©Iff.
(Hlnvkt Sc 9tttart<Eo.
LIMITED
Wholesale and Commercial
Stationers
550 SEYMOUR STREET
VANCOUVER,  B. C.
Tel. Ex., Seymour 3 THE   UBYSSEY
March 3, 1921
Buy Your Notepaper
by the Pound
ENGLISH LINEN NOTE PAPER--A
good quality linen finish note paper,
put up in packets of 60 sheets (2'4
quires), at   30c
ENVELOPES TO MATCH — Are put
up- in boxes of 80, for 30c
SCOTCH LINEN NOTE PAPER — A
very good grade of medium weight
linen finished writing paper, put up
in 1-lb. packets containing about 120
sheets   (5  quires) 35c
ENVELOPES TO MATCH—Put up in
boxes of 75, at, per box 35c
SILK VELVET  NOTE PAPER—Good
quality pad finish note paper, put up
in packets of 60 sheets,
at,  per packet 40c
ENVELOPES TO MATCH—Put up in
boxes of 60, at, per box 40c
ENGLISH FABRIC NOTE PAPER—A
high-grade linen finish writing paper
in  a  plaid   effect,   put   up   in   pound
packets of about 100 sheets,
at, per lb 75c
ENVELOPES TO MATCH—
Per packet of 25 20c
—Stationery Dept., Main Floor,
New Wing
DAVID   SPENCER
LIMITED
Phone, Fairmont 722
THE BEX CAFE
TEA ROOM BAKERY  ICE CREAM
Confectionery Tobacco and Cigars
6>2 BROADWAY, WEST
Robt. Sapp, Ltd.
Candymaker
814   ROBSON   STREET
BLAME
KENNEDY
The advertising department of
the paper made a mistake and
sent the last batch of advertising copy to the wrong address.
And the Judge could not get
hold of them until too late to
announce the winner this week.
It's too bad, but blame your
publicity department.
CORRESPONDENCE (Contd.)
There have always been plenty of seats
in the back of the Auditorium for any latecomers among the girls. They would be
more in place sitting back there than blocking the view of those behind them. As for
the charge that women have been forced oft
the sidewalks by the men, in the words cf
one of our Washington friends, "We flatly
deny it."
A MERE MAN.
Editor "Ubyssey."
Dear Sir:—In a recent issue of the "Sun"
there appeared a U.B.C. editorial, under the
sensational title of "The Farmer Menace."
On first glancing at the title, one would conclude that the writer had just returned from
Russia, or was a confirmed disciple of Wm.
Randolph Hearst; but not so, for apparently
the deluded penman attends our own University.
That such colossal ignorance could be."
shown by a student of this enlightened age
in the Province of B. C. is appalling. If all
our students leave the halls of this Institution with such misguided conceptions, and
such a poor knowledge of economic principles, God help the Province of B. C.!
I would ask the writer how does it happen, if the farmers have such substantial
bank accounts, that the president and
officers of the United Farmers of B. C. are
paying their own expenses, through lack of
funds in the treasury? Again, if their leaders are so misguided, why has not the Province of Ontario come  to destruction?
There are  numerous  other  equally  foolish
statements in  this epistle of misrepresentation, but they are only worthy of contempt.
Yours truly,
J. T. T.
A Suggestion
Editor "Ubyssey."
Dear Sir:—The fact that a large number
of our student body take no part in college
social functions has often been deplored.
Students often spend a year or two at the
University before they are well enough
acquainted to feel at home here.
Could we not have a registration bureau,
where all students desiring to make new
friends could be classified according to their
accomplishments, tastes, appearance, and
the standard of the credentials they could
supply? Then no one need stay away from
a dance because he didn't know a girl to
ask, and no girl need worry because she is
short of men for her party. I am sure some
such scheme could easily be worked out, and
would fill a long-felt want.
EARNEST.
Editor "Ubyssey."
Dear Sir:—I am astounded to find that my
unfortunate piece of nonsense—not one word
of which, except the reference to service;;
rendered the Women's Literary Society, was
meant for anything but the merest chaff—
has roused such feeling in certain quarters.
Really, it was hardly worth such a fulmina-
tlon. In the first place, I had no idea that
anything written in such a vein would be
used as an editorial in those columns, where
everyone has a right to look for gravity and
circumspection. I suppose this partly accounts for the amazing construction put
upon the thing. In the second place, If it
had once occurred to me that anyone could
possibly have taken it for other than the
exaggerated absurdity it was, I should never
have sent it in. Evidently those responsible
for that issue took it as it was meant, or
they would not have allowed it to appear.
However, if my elephantine gambols wounded anyone they were in the worst possible
taste, and I am sincerely sorry. In future I
will try not to swerve from the safe and
serious. K. M. P.
Editor "Ubyssey,"
Dear Sir:—Co-education has always proven
unsatisfactory in the older Eastern universities. Oxford and Cambridge protest loudly against it, until lately we have been proud
of the success of this system in our institution. But now almost every issue of your
paper contains correspondence revealing a
fault-finding, vindictive spirit between the
men and the women of this University.
Where is our vaunted spirit of co-operation?
Is co-education to fail, even in the Far
West? .   _. ANXIOUS.-
The
Students' Cafeteria
Is Going Strong
Join your friends at
Lunch-time
A.  WALTER.
Phone, Sey. 2045
NEXT TIME
TRY THE BUNGALOW
For    Light    Refreshments
Ice  Cream and Candles at
774 GRANVILLE STREET
MIDWAY PHARMACY
Phone,  Fair. 840
Cor. Broadway and Heather Street
VANCOUVER, B. C.
WATERMAN'S PENS
EVERSHARP PENCILS
LOOSELEAF COVERS
AND REFILLS
NOTE BOOKS, Etc.
We deliver anywhere, at any time.
BARRON
HOTEL
Restaurant
Two Blocks from Vancouver Hotel
When you compare quality, service
and price, and consider the high
standard of the food we serve, you
will realize wherein it is to your advantage to come here.
A welcome awaits you.
BARRON
Corner Granville and Nelaon
Phone, Seymour 2011
Operated by W. D. Wood Limited
MAURICE PERRIN,  Manager March 3, 1921
THE   UBYSSEY
SOCIETY BRAND
CLOTHES SHOP
Rogers Bldg., 450 Granville Street
CLOTHES FOR YOUNG MEN
Glad  to  show  the  new  models.
They are entirely different.
FIT REFORM
WARDROBE
345 Hastings Street, West
J. W. Foster
Limited
WE SELL CLOTHES FOR YOUNG
MEN AND MEN WHO STAY YOUNG
ANGELL ENGRAVING CO
CUTS
For
Newspapers, Magazines, Catalogues
and  General Advertising  Purposes
DESIGNING
Original and Distinctive
518 HASTINGS STREET, WEST
THE GREAT-WEST
LIFE ASSURANCE CO.
Head   Office,   Winnipeg,   Manitoba
Result of a 20-year endowment
which   matured   October   1st,   1920.
Name, Gilbert Inkster, Lady-
smith. Premium, $102.30. Amount,
$2,000.
In 20 years he paid $2,004.60.
The cash value of his policy was
$3,070, being the face of the policy
$2,000 and a dividend of $1,070.
640 HASTINGS STREET, WEST
Vancouver Branch Office
A  SAVINGS ACCOUNT
By carrying money around
in your pocket you will
never learn the habit of
THRIFT. Deposit your
spare funds with this Bank
in a Savings account; interest will be paid, and you
can withdraw both principal and interest at any
time.
We welcome small accounts.
The Canadian
Bank of Commerce
DEMAND
KEYSTONE
Keystone Loose-Leaf . Books are,
as you know, very handy books
for students.
All the fillers are "Made in B. C."
You can obtain these fillers from
any dealer who handles School
Supplies.
Smith, Davidson & Wright
LIMITED
Manufacturers   and   Wholesale
Paper Dealers
VANCOUVER  AND  VICTORIA,   B.C.
HAGAR
SHOES
FOR
MEN
AND
WOMEN
As surely as there is a sun in the heavens, we can
satisfy any man or woman's Footwear desires in
"Hagar" Shoes.
We specialize in this brand and stand back of
every pair.
FOR QUALITY
FOR FIT
FOR STYLE
FOR VALUE
we earnestly commend the "Hagar" line.
INGLEDEW SHOE CO.
"Vancouver's Smartest Shoe Store"
666 GRANVILLE STREET
MERTEL AND JOE
Dear jo,
Wy haven't you rittin for so long are
you all used up or did you gradduate at
Christmas i just simplie had to rite to tel
yu i was at the Arts men's smoker, why
wusn't yu their jo. inswapped cloths with
my bruther Peet and he went too hi jinks
in mine. He only lost a prise by a hare.
i did not lik the smoker, their wus to
much smok, i got a clay pipe but their
wus no hoi in it so I smokd a siggaret
insted. I don't want no equl rites in
smokin jo, you no how moddest i am jo
don't you.
2 kegs of cullered water with sugger
in it was on a table to rinse the soot out
of your mouth, won was cullered red an
the uther was cullered yeller. i like coffee best jo becus these cullered waters
are too much like the tite rate in the
Kemistree lab.
3 acters came in an tried to sing but
there songs were not nise an i did not
lissen to. them, they soon went a way.
You no how I like nise things don't you
jo. then 2 boys got some big mits and
tride to fite but they sliped down on the
floor and the fellers got sum restmore
beddin so they cul fal down eszee. 2
games of cards wus running jo an when
i went too see them sumbodie said full
up, no chance, and a feller said ful up on
queans an sumbody else said tite on kings,
i wanted to play cassener but everybody
laffed at me.
i saw a bunch of fellers wisperin in a
corner an noing wat fellers talk about
wen they ar wisperin i went over too the
corner, sumboddy said they will be here
sune, sum class too. then a feller come in
all het up, jo, and he said she's as prettie
as a pictur but cant cum out cause its too
lait but we got anuther who is a star.
Peet saw sum wild men at the hi jinks,
an i thort this star was wild when she
came in. she shuck herself jo, an waved
her arms an i thort the buildin wud fall
down wen she jumped up in the air. Doc
sedgwik was torkin about a strate flush
an he was sure flushed to the rutes of his
hare, he wus so scaired. The star made
a gurglin noise in a forrin languidge
witch sounded like toodly oo, toodley
googli oo or got excitted. I was gladd
wen she went jo. yu no how i hate furrin
languidge dont you jo. Then sumboddy
said sumthing about a olive an every-
boddy laffed. but I didnnt laff cause i
don't tike olives, the orkestre wus good
an they played lots of won steps but i
was scared to dance cause i dont no the
man's part.
from yer luvvin
MERTEL.
TURN YOUR IDEAS
INTO DOLLARS
LEARN   HOW   TO   WRITE
SHORT STORIES
Short-Story  Writing
Illustrating
Bookkeeping
Journalism
Cartooning
Accounting
Write for particulars
Shaw Correspondence
School
1401  Standard   Bank   Building
VANCOUVER,  B. C. THE   UBYSSEY
March 3, 1921
FARMERS OF THE  FUTURE
By the shores of the Pacific,
By its eloquence inspired,
In the City of Vancouver,
To the college of the Province
Go the boys to study farming,
Study stock and poultry culture,
Study soils and horticulture.
Oft' they go upon the week-end,
Visiting the farm and barnyard,
Judging types and breeds of merit,
Judging calves that should inherit
Qualities of prime importance;
Judging, too, the car they go in,
Deeming-it unworthy transfer
For the scientific farmer.
There the farmers of the future,
Learning how to grow the best seed,
How to reap the biggest harvest,
How to feed the hen in winter,
In the frosty days of winter!
Too, they learn to churn the butter,
Churn the golden rolls of butter,
Churn the butter of the future—
All the girls are learning churning;
Thus they learn to farm with science,
Learn with book, and rule, and measure,
Learn with formulae and figure,
Learn by Botany to cherish,
Learn by Chemistry to nourish,
All the plants that grow in summer,
In the melting days of summer.
C. A. F.
FROM  A  FROSH  TO  POP
DEBATERS ACHIEVE VICTORY
,       (Continued from Page 1)
own   men    showed    evidences   of   many
hours  of  training under  the  supervision
of critical professors.
Early in'the evening the superiority of
our affirmative team over their opponents
was definitely established. Although the
subject matter of the negative was weak
and the arrangement of their arguments
confusing, the delivery of the Idaho men
was commendable, Mr. Greathouse being
probably the most pleasing speaker on
the platform.
In opening the debate for the affirmative, Cassidy made a distinct impression.
In developing the argument that reciprocity was sound, theoretically, historically
and practically, his points were clearly
defined and effectively illustrated. It was
undoubtedly one of the most logically
constructed speeches ever delivered in a
university debate. Charlie Traves was in
his usual good form, and delivered a
forceful and convincing speech. Both he
and Cassidy would have shown better
taste had they been more dignified and
courteous in their references to the visiting debaters. Traves' rebuttal was especially noteworthy. The Idaho men may
have had a slight advantage in the high
: standard of their delivery, but this was
insufficient    to    outweigh    the    superior
:  mental energy and knowledge of history
which was displayed by the home team.
After the debate, the visitors were the
guests of the Literary Department at an
, informal, dance in the King Edward
Cafeteria. On Saturday the men were
entertained at a luncheon
The Birth of Economic Entomology
Adam found Eve in tears one day.   On
questioning her as to the cause thereof,
he received the reply:
"While  I  was  in bathing a  caterpillar
just ruined my new wardrobe."
Dear Pop:
I didn't like to write before, as I thought
the fellows might see the address. Now you
are out of jail, it is all right. This is some
place, Dad. The fellows that work here
must all be married, as they like to talk to
us a lot. I think they all stay at hotels, too,
becus they is always talking about night
rates. I guess they don't get paid much,
either, as we gave them a free meal last
term.
I belong to a secrut society I think Dad
as they told me I was a member of the
Agundergrad when I came so I guess I impressed them. It seems to- be pretty select
as they say they is only 48 in it.
They is a fellow here who was born in
China but he is practercaly white. We call
him Chink because he is a little cracked
which is only my latent humor coming ro
the four. They's a fellow .here from Steves-
ton too and his name is Steeves. I admire
a man with a city named after him even if
it is in Japan—someone told me they was
all Japs there so I guess  that's where it is.
We had a ball here last month. It was a
real soshul funkshun Dad although they let
a lot of waiters in that I could tell by their
shirts. When I went in one what looked
like our President's brother spoke to my
girl and said what's your name? He didn't
know her either, and I would have punched
his nose only I had a sore wrist from rolling
'em, a hew game I learned Pop. -Anyways
it was alright as-he was only there to tell
some ladies who we were. My wrist got
lots sorer shaking hands but I kept rite on
Pop, You know what I am with wimmin. I
shook hands with about thirty and they
looked askance some of them. Number
thirty-one was rude Pop, she said pardon
meah but I never saw you before. Not to
be beaten by such as her I come back quick
and says I never saw you before either.
Then a big stiff with her says what are you
trying to pull off anyway and I says your
girl's got too much off now and left him in
disgrace and blushed red.
We all worked up a appetite by dancing.
One girl asked me if I ever danced on my
own feet and I admitted I did. Part of the
decorations fell down after the meal. They
was in a fool place anyway and I new they
would. We had swell sandwiches and I saw
one girl take some home for her lunch the
next day, Pop.
I went home after the meal as the lights
didn't look very fright and I thought they
was going out. I couldn't find my girl
either.
One off the teachers that talks so much
tried to get funny with me yesterday. He
said smartlike do you make much money
out of potatoes down your way but I was
too smart for him Pop and I says without
a paws, no, money is made out f paper. I
guess I am getting witty alright.
Well, so long Pop, send some will you,
Your child,
AUGUSTUS.
Arts '23 won the right to meet the
Aggies in the final debate for the possession of the Men's Lit. Shield on Wednesday last, when their representatives
defeated the men from Science. The
Arts Sophomores defended the presence
of Article 10 in the League of Nations
Covenant, upholding the negative of the
following resolution: "Resolved that the
covenant of the League of Nations should
be amended by the deletion of Article 10."
The affirmative was upheld by Mr. R.
Hodson and Mr. T. Guernsey, of Science,
while the negative supporters were Mr.
G. H. Scott and Mr. A. F. Roberts. The
judges were Prof. Boving, Prof. Mathe-
son and Dr. Buchanan.
Raw potatoes!   Raw potatoes!
Carrots! Turnips!  Ripe tomatoes!
Clover, ensilage and mangels!
Dig!   Plant!   Roll!
What's the life of open air?
What's the life without a care?
What's the life with health to spare?
A-a-a-griculture I
GRAr<
When Wanting Nice
Things to Eat
CUSICK
CAN  SUPPLY  YOUR  WANTS
From the very finest Chocolates,
Home-made Candy, Ice Cream and
Soft Drinks, Pastries, and such like,
to the daintiest little Dinner and
Light Lunch you ever ate.
Make sure you go to Cuslck.
Cor. Heather and Broadway, West
SPECIAL
i
$25.00
Rough Blue
Serge
Norfolk Suits
REGULAR
$45.00
THE SHOP OF
Jfaatpatt - (Eraft
Thos. Fofter
& Co., Ltd.
ONE STORE ONLY
514 GRANVILLE ST.

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