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The Ubyssey Mar 29, 1940

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Published Twice Weekly by The Publications Board of The University of British Columbia
(agd.)   arvid baokman.
vol. xxn.
No. 39
Three   ' Ubyssey9   Editors   Arrested
Professor Irving To Head
Department of Philosophy
Dollars Wanted
Durkin Adviset
That 1940 Totem
Will Be Delayed
Delay Due to Acute
Shortage of Paper;
300 Printed, Balance Next Month
The 1940 supsr-oolossal Totem
whioh was to have made Its debut
on the oampus around the beginning
of April will not be available till the
middle of May. Osborne Durkin,
retiring Totem editor, announoed
yesterday noon. The delay he intimated ls possibly due to the lack of
adequate paper whloh has arisen to
aoute proportions during the past
fsw weeks.
Though somewhere* up to SOO have
been printed and bound the remaining 900 cannot be finished until a
further shipment of the paper arrives trom the east. Those 800 studenta, flrst to pay their remaining
two dollars will rsoelve the available copies.
The Totem staff working in conjunction with the Publications
Board will mail copies of theTotem
as fast as they are received from
the printers next month. It is imperative that all out-of-town Totem
buyers leave their name and address
with their two dollars In the Pub
offloe In the Brook Building, advised
D. O. (Dollar down) Durkin yesterday.
The additional cost of mailing upwards of 700 Totems will perhaps be
borne by Counoil who reported yesterday that they have a budget surplus of close to (1,000. So far qo other alternative has been suggested to
either John 8. "Ood that was" Oarrett or D. O. "Mo one loves me" Durkin.
The Totem staff, though distressed
by the sudden turn of events, nevertheless stoutly maintained that   the I
1940 Totem waa super. . . .
Professor J. A. Irving of the Department of Philosophy and Psychology has been appointed acting head
of the Department for the coming
session replacing Dr. H. T. J. Coleman, retiring from the Department
this year.
Professor Irving came to U.B.O. ln
1P38 from Princeton University where
ho had served as professor of philosophy since 1930. He graduated trom
Princeton, Cambridge and Toronto
The new acting head, ls best known
for his Institution of a new course,
which aroused great sutdent Interest,
has raised the registration In philosophy courses.
Professor Irving has lately been appointed to the executive committee
of the American Philosophical Association for a period of two years. His
papers presented to the association
are regarded as authoritative in their
filed, I mean field.
The new appointee is the co-author
of a well-known book on philosophy
"American Philosophy Today and Tomorrow."
Appointment of Oeorge Volkoff,
brilliant U.B.C. graduate, to an assistant professorship on the physics stall
of this university was announced by
Dr. O. M. Shrum this week.
Since graduating from U.B.C. at
the head of the Arts class in 1934,
Volkoff took his Master degree here
in 1938, and finished his Doctor's
work at California and Princeton universities.
Born in Moscow, Volkoff matriculated at the Y.M.O.A. high sohool ln
Harbin, China, and entered U.B.O. in
1930. Throughout his career he won
scholarships for general proficiency,
and won the Governor-General's
medal for graduating with flrst class
honors In physics and mathematics.
Pese Appointed
Margeson Elected
OF Pub For 40-41
Salt News Manager;
Backman C.U.P.
Editor as Embryo
Journalists Rise
Jack Margeson of Trail, the only
scholar on the Ubyssey staff, was
appointed Editor-in-Chief of the
Publications Board for 1940-41, it
was announoed at the Pub tea Wednesday afternoon. The retiring editor-in-chief, John S. Oarrett, wore tn
his lapel a yellow daffodil. He also
wore a frat pin.
Appointed    by   acclamation    were
[Infringement of Section  39A
of War Measures Act Alleged
appointed as the 1940-41 "Ood" of
the Publications Board at the annual Pub tea on Wedneaday.
Margeson Confesses Hatred Of Swing
•   •   • •    •   •
New Editor Takes His Milk Straight
Yesterday    afternoon,    the    tables
were turned when an editor-in-chief
to-be waa Interviewed by one of his
own     reporters.      Jack     Margeson,
newly appointed Ubyssey head, broke
down   and  confessed   the   innermost
secrets of his private life in an exclusive Interview yesterday.
It waa at the age of IX that Jaok
reluctantly discarded his secret
ambition to be a steamboat captain and decided on a literary career. It Is strange that a man who
intend* aame day to become a
seoond Jonathon Swift or Aldous
Huxley, should commence as a
Journalist. But, as Jaok pointed
out, It's done in the beat of circles.
Jack   is   a   confirmed   swing-hater.
Pieces  like the  "One-O'clock Jump"
and "Stompln' at the Savoy" hold no
lure for the new editor.   His greatest
hate Is Jazz.    He goes green all over
and shudders when he hears It. Still,
he did confess a certain liking for
Jaok derives his greatest pleasure
In stealing down to a lonely lake at
midnight and playing Sibelius' "Swan
of Tuonela" softly on his violin. He
plays the piano, too . . . but definitely
no boogie-woogie.
Jack's favorite beverage ls milk.
(Another Pub tradition broken). His
favorite food is Kootenay Mcintosh
apples  (advt.).
There is one other item that has
made the new editor outstanding
during the past year, Loyal to the
very core, Jaok has Insisted Invariably in leaving the "u" In words
such aa "honour" and "colour."
Thus we have him; musloian, artiste, literateur, patriot, and finally
Art Fouks Elected
Forum President
Arthur Fouks, third year commerce
student, was elected president of the
UBC Parliamentary Porum at the
elections Wednesday noon to succeed
Bernard Reed. A prominent Inter-
colleglate debater ln Varsity circles as
well as outside, his election ls considered a fitting climax to three active
Other officers elected were: Archie
Bain,    first    vice-president;    Andrew
Students who plan to
register for Social Service
in September must call at
Room W in the Arts Building, nnd make nn appointment to see Miss Collins,
Supervisor of Field Work,
before  April  26.
Roddan, second vice-president; Mervyn Davis, re-elected as treasurer and
Elspeth Munro, re-elected as secretary.
Lionel "Swing-lover" Salt as news
manager; Arvid "Dictator"Baokman
as editor of the Canadian University
Press; Janet Walker and Pierre Ber-
toh as senior editors; Arohle Paton,
Wally Gillespie and Edna Wlnram
as associate editors; Barbara Newman, Dorothy Tupper, and Jaok McMillan as assistant editors. Cornelia
Burke will be features editor.
Arohle Paton will also edit the
Student Directory and the Handbook. Barbara Moe is the new Pub
Secretary while Bob Menohlons will
be circulation manager.
The senior editors and the sports
editor made boring speeches as eaoh
reoeived a gold pin that has not yet
arrived. Likewise did J. D. Macfarlane, Joyoe Cooper and Osborne Durkin, this year's orop of Pub grads.
Lionel Salt, the portly sports editor, who is the Pub interpreter, made
a valedictory. With a husky voloe
he presented John 8. "Ood that was"
Oarrett with a cigarette case and a
bouquet of sentiments on behalf of
the Pub staff. On his way up he prevented Dollar Down Durkin with a
rose ... a pink rose. Durkin rose to
the occasion.
Doug 'Watt was appointed sports
interpreter to relieve Lionel Salt.
His associates In this field of Intelligible jargon are Oerry Armstrong and
Austin Frith; and assistant Dunoan
Osborne Durkin, editor ot this
year's super super Totem, tested tor
psychological reaction 'n' everything,
will be suooeeded by Hammle Oray.
Other appointments on the yearbook are Associate Editor, Betty
Quick; chief photographer, BUI Out-
mette; business manager, Tom Meredith; advertising manager, Keith
Porter, and circulation manager, Bill
retiring—quite true—editor of the
"Pub" who now la known as "Ood
lost ... a black exercise book
containing handwritten notes,
pleaae return to basil roblnson
in the pub or the alma nutter
offloe ... It Is quite urgently
required, exams and all that
. . . reward . . .
Prom concerts are coming to
Vancouver! Such concerts have
long been popular in England and in
Toronto where enormous crowds gather to hear light classical music,
eat ice cream, and drink cold drinks.
The Vancouver Sun Is sponsoring
four such concerts, beginning on
April 13. They will be held ln the
Auditorium every Saturday evening
for four weeks. The seats will be
taken out of the main floor so that
the orowds oan walk around there,
smoke, and eat during the playing
cf the musio. Even talking will be
allowed, If it Is quiet talking.
The seats around the sides of the
Auditorium will be sold for very
moderate prioes, with a maximum
cf 70c. On the main floor will be
stalls where refreshments will be
If these concerts should prove
popular, an additional eight oonoerts
will be given, continuing on into the
summer. Informal and inexpensive
aa they are, the concerts should
prove to be very popular -with students.
Dep't. of Justice Claims Student Editors
Subversive; Makes Nation-wide Arrests;
. Garrett, Macfarlane and Backman to Make
"Test Case" of Federal Accusations
OTTAWA, Ont., Maroh 27.—Department of Justice offloials
today ordered the arrest of the editors of three Canadian University newspapers for alleged infringement of the Dominion War
Measures Aot. The three papers affected are the 'Argosy' of the
Mt. Allison University; the MoGill 'Daily' of MoOill University;
and the 'Ubyssey' of the University of British Columbia.
SACKVILI.E. N.B., March 27. (COP)—Judge Rymer refused
bail to the editors of the Mt. Allison 'Argosy' who were arrested
this morning charged with violating Section 39A of the Dominion
War Measures Act. The trial of the editors, Sawden, Colledge and
Twiedle will be held in camera on April 1.
MONTREAL, Que., March 28 (CCP)—University of McGM
students rioted last night in protest of the arrest of editors Smith,
Watson and Dubois. The editors, charged with violating the Dominion War Measures Act were released on $10,000 bail after students threatened to close the University. Meanwhile downtown
business raised over $3,000 to aid in the defence of the editors who
will be tried about the beginning of April.
VANCOUVER, B.C., March 27.—John S. Garrett, editor-in-
chief of the 'Ubyssey," James D. Macfarlane, news-manager, and
Arvid V. Backman, aenior editor, were arrested this evening for
alleged infringement of theJDominion War Measures Aet.   Taken
into custody' by Provincial Polioe
they were released later on ball of
$0,000 eaoh.
Informed of the arrest, influential
Vanoouver cltisens sent wires to Ottawa protesting the latest move of
the Department of Justice. Unless
a postponement of the trial can be
arranged the editors will come up
for preliminary hearing tomorrow.
Meanwhile aeveral downtown lawyers offered their services free and
denounced the undemocratic move
of the Department of Justice in allowing the editors only two days in
which to prepare their defenoe.
From all across Canada patrlotlo
organisations cabled their support.
Youth Congress wired $800 as their
initial    contribution i   the    Youth
Council promised to throw all ita
subsidiary units behind the edltorai
the League for Peaoe and Democracy offered Ma support.
VANCOUVER,   B.O.,   Maroh   98.—-
Oratlfled by the support given by the
people of Canada and the cltisens of
Vancouver, Oarrett, Macfarlane and
Backman   sought   tonight   postponement of the trial until after the examinations.
Editors Subversive
This request was refused by local
authorities who wished to make a
test case of the Department of Justice charges. Federal officials claimed that the editors of the three oollege newspapers were radical and
subversive and that their policies
had hindered the Dominion's war
efforts. They charged, furthermore,
that the editors violated the 'War
Measures Act In printing articles
and stories of a subservient nature
dealing with conscription of manpower.
The 'Ubyssey' editors were further
charged with,  flrst:   printing  a  column   headed   COTC    Orders    whloh
I gave    detailed    information    of   the
Ustrength and the movements of part
fftt His Majesty's armed foroes;  and,
seoond,  attempting   to  send  out   of
Canada via the  press wires  Inform-
Radio Society
Plant Programs
For Next Year
The proposed re-organisation program of the Radio Society for next
year will probably Include only four
big productions, approaching the Importance of the major productions of
the year at the present time.
These are the plans announced by
Director Victor Freeman, who states
that the programs will be carried by a
local station. Regular news progragns
simllar to those produced during the
past year will probably be continued
while it is hoped that play-by-play
sports broadcasts may be carried for
important inter-colleglate games.
Among this year's most important
productions were "Damien the Leper," "Abraham Lincoln" and '^An Experiment ln Counterpoint." Murdoch
McLaohlan, the Radio Society announcer for all the programs, received approbation from a local station for his work during the year and
his ability ln that field. Verna MacKenzie, Dramatic director, was awarded an honorary L.SJE. award, one of
the two women students to receive it
during the two years of its existence,
atlon of use to the enemy.
Interviewed last night the quiet
and usually affable John Oarrett
bitterly denounced the arrests stating, "It ls ridiouloua for the Department of Justice to accuse university newspapers of deliberately
fostering abortive attempts to hinder ii. any way whatsoever the Dominion's war efforts.
"We have ln the past aided the
Federal Oovernment to the fullest of
our ability and we will continue to
aid them In their crusade against
Hltlerism. I consider the charges
unwarranted and entirely childish.
True we printed more than we
should about the CSA and the conscription squabble, and the movements of the COTC. But obviously
suoh Information was available to
the enemy front other sources."
Needless Persecution
The curly haired Scienceman and
senior editor Arvid Baokman ridiculed the assertions that the Ubyssey is or was subversive. "It seems
to me," he said, "That the Department of Justice is taking this matter a little too seriously. I cannot
see that the 'Ubyssey' has been subversive or that it has hindered the
Dominion in prosecuting the present war. I think that a gross miscarriage of justice exists which permits the needless prosecution of
student  editors.
"The 'Ubyssey' is a newspaper and
as such it must give an accurate,
graphic presentation of the thoughts,
actions and happenings on university campuses throughout the Dominion and the U.S. We printed only
authentio stories. It Is too bad that
the Department of Justice does not
realise that 'Truth is stranger than
Macfarlane refused to make any
comment beyond the statement that
the editors were newspapermen.
"The press," he maintained, "has
certain privileges and so have the
editors. We will make a test case
of our arreet that -will reach across
Canada and boomerang Into the laps
of the Federal Ministers of Justice."
(Continued on Page 3)
Irving To Conclude
Weekly Lecture Series
The concluding meeting of the
Vancouver Institute for the season
1939-40 will be held on Saturday evening in Room 100 of the Arts
building at the University. The
speaker will be Prof. J. A. Irving
of the Department of Philosophy,
and the subject "Culture and Personality."
The chair will be taken by the
president,   Mr.   Justice   A.   M.   Man-
The Department of Book
Store would like to hear
from students who would
be free to act as student
help next session. Application forms may be had nt
the Book Store.
son, at 8:10. The B.C. Electric Railway provides buses at Sasamat
Street, which go directly to the University and wait there until the
close of the lecture. Institute lectures  are free  to  the  public. Two
Friday, March 29,  1940
Issued twice weekly by the Students' Publioation Board of the Alma Mater
Sooiety of the University of British Columbia
Any namea mentioned ln this Issue are purely fictitious, and any similarity to persons living or dead Is coincidental.
John Oarrett
J. D. Macfarlane.
Arvid  Baokman
Jaok   Margsson
Lionel Salt
Joyce Ooopsr
After much controversy, discussion and agitation on this campus, students have presumably come to the realization that the
most valuable thing about otir civilization is democracy. Democracy is apparently a complement of liberty or vice versa But it
has also been proved fairly conclusively that people like liberty,
are willing to flght for it, but prefer ham and eggs, and if they
muat have liberty without ham and eggs, they will have ham and
In this war we Canadians have been told that we are fighting
for liberty, but it is comparatively obvious that we are also fighting
for our ham and eggs I If, then, we are out to protect both, we
ahould flght firmly, for if we fail we shall have neither liberty nor
ham and eggs—a regrettable situation—and if we do not fail we
shall have both—we hope.
It has been argued that in a democracy all people should have
equal opportunities for this and that, equal responsibilities for
governing the country, but apparently not equal responsibilities
for defending that country in time of war. The Prime Minister
of tho Australian Government announced that conscription had
been put into effect in that country because it was the most democratic thing to do.
In consequence in this democratic country let us have conscription of man pawer, and for that matter, wealth. Let us win
this war and reain our liberty (or such of it as we already enjoy)
and let us retain our ham and eggs.
Those who do not agree with this editorial may disagree; and
let them know that it was written merely to satisfy a craving to
write something in favour of conscription No such writing is
given much approval in this country!—which is probably a good
Sentimentality is an unpleasant
characteristic -which all too often
dominates the thoughts of the average Senior student during that
sweet period immediately
AND preceding graduation. It is
just this slushlness that has
given us the impression that It
might be wise to sing our 'swan
song' under the old name whloh
caused many a scheme to gang a-
Here, then, at the beginning of
this column let us say that the past
session has been enjoyable, that the
session before was equally enjoyable,
and that probably next year will be
enjoyable. It Is highly probable that
we ahall not return to this Campus
again, ever  ... So what!
But to look now at the present
Session. The students have been to
us, the arch-crook of the Campus—
for nothing that we did appeared to
be right—a source of con-
MOW stant mental distress. War
seemed to have its inevitable
effect at the start of the term, and
a spiritual and mental depression
took hold of the Campus. Examinations didn't matter, athletics didh't
matter much, and democracy mattered a great deal.
It has been many years since the
Campus has enjoyed the agitation of
radical groups, and lt is well within
the realm of possibility that in the
future such agi-
OUR FORLORN tatlon will, rather
than decrease, Increase in violence. The entire question of Socialism, of pink democracy,
of anti-capitalist theories are certain
to appear more and more frequently
during the next few years of the
War. University students will have
a powerful part to play in either
combatting such movements or Ir,
supporting them, and possibly it has
been beneficial to Identify certain of
the groups of this type during this
It   Is    delightful,   too,   to   see   stu
denta take themselves seriously.
Several of the suggestions or criticisms voiced by this paper during
the term have brought forth the
most amazing reactions. People have
felt, apparently, that the very fate
of the world depended upon the vindication of their fair names. It
would almost appear that the student whose name ls mentioned ln
this paper ln some manner other
than one purely complimentary Is
at once of the impression that the
Editor of said paper has a personal
grudge against him, against the
world an dso on. In brief students
fall to realise that the louder they
squeal after journalistic criticism
the more satisfied does the editor
feel as to truth of the criticism.
Apply this Idea to the past term
or so and guess at the feelings Involved !
It would not be possible to write
suoh a oolleotlon ot -words aa thla
without mentioning the Students'
Counoil. Faithfully have we attended
all the meetings of
FAREWELL Counoil this Session,
and equally faithfully
have we refrained from 'panning'
the august body, chiefly beoause
'things might have gone too hard
with them,' or becauae there waa
not a great deal to whioh we could
take exception, Besldea, Council has
too often been the subject for Ubyaaey editorials. Even the highest
authorities in the land lose their
news value after a time. To the
Councillors, then, "Adios."
The Brock Building, not yet officially named Brock Hall, has been
the sensation of tho year. Still, however, it is closed clam-like at five ln
the afternoon during the week, and
at noon on Saturdays. No matter for
the rest of this term, but let us pray
for  the next.
No mention has been made all
year, Incidentally, of the man who
was so largely responsible for the
successful construction and furnishing of the Union
AND JOYFUL Building. We refer
THANKS you   now   to   Suth
erland Horn of the
Alma Mater Offices. The encyclopedic mind of this Incredible fellow
would amaze you; in fact he ia almost a perfect type for a 'Stump
the experts Contest.' Combine his
efforts and ability with the talent
and enthusiasm of Mra. Phillips, adviser for the interior decoration of
Brock    Hall,    and    you    have    strong
(Continued  on Page 3)
Diamonds, Watches, Personal Gifts
Seymour at Dunsmuir
Math 4 Pipe Dream
the caloulug Is a fearful bug
that  slithers  round and  round
the sewers of the harassed  mind,
Its favorite nesting ground.
it has two neoks and an f-dash-x
curled  'neath   ita   nether  delta;
and with its pronged dydx
stabs men below the belta.
from pale blue gums the mlnlmums
dangle dripping on ita jaws
and    treacherous    are    the    oritloal
points of its aero tangent olaws.
it sings a song of inflexion;
Ita basso soreeoh Is plangent;
Its notes twang down a falling curve
paat a horisontal tangent.
oonoave down Is its spiny frown
from overt Integration.
with exponential winga it rasps
Its differentiation.
in   a   murky   maze   Ita   Incrementa
glaze   with   reapeot   to    Its    bulging
it fumes and spits and in variable
Hts to a distant limit strains,
with utmost unction its maximum
function approaches round a pylon,
with ita anout to port and a derivative snort it skewers a meek epsllon.
the calculug has no mate to hug	
derelict as a decimal
towards him ls borne by the atudent
worn a love .... Infinitesimal.
Letters To The Editor
The Editor,
The Ubyssey.
Dear Sir:
In view of the fact that only 60
per cent of the students of this University took sufficient interest in
their recent elections to oast their
vote, we venture to suggest that
something drastic should and must
be done about it.
It appears obvloua that without an
overwhelming majority of ua oaatlng
our ballots, true democracy, whloh
implies that government la by the
whole people, oannot funotion to Ita
fullest extent. Slnoe unlveralty ahould
be the training ground for citizenship, it seems Imperative to us that
an Interest In government In general, and student government in particular, be encouraged much more
than It Is at present. It ls necessary
that the rights of the precious democracy, which the world Is fighting
today to maintain, be exercised by
every one of us.
Since a considerable number of
ua are apparently apathetic toward
voting, the right to vote must be
made more attractive, that is, the
student himself must want to vote.
Therefore we suggest that the following  be  done:
1. The call to vote should be placarded all over the campus, as ls done
In the case of important rugby
games. We might have a loudspeaker car going around the campus calling on studenta to vote, as
one  did  in  advertising  the  "Totem."
2. Pep   Meets   should   be   held   tea
"put   over"   the   Idea   of   voting,   just
as      less-Important      functions      are.
What  we  need   ia  a  little   salesmanship.
3. The help of the Faculty ought
to be enlisted. Profeaaors might
spend a few moments during lectures urging atudenta to get out and
exercise  their  democratic   privileges.
4. Let a bonus of one dollar be
given a week after the final elections to every voter who takes part
in at least the choice of the new
council. Most of us could do with
some money at this time of year.
This money might, with the permission of the Board of Governors and
the Senate, be obtained by raising
the Alma Mater fee by one dollar.
To voters this will mean, in effect,
that they pay the same fees as before. Non-voters (if there should be
any;    will    forfeit    their    bonus    and
Yeah—snd don't think I'm glad to
be getting out, too. I've taken plenty
of criticism from you people in the
past two years, and I'm glad to think
that next September I won't be oalled
on for another "Along the Mall", or
"Mortar Board."
I'm even more glad to see me go
than you are. But, just before I close
up the office for the last time, I'm
going to tell you what's been done by
columns In the past two years out
I. The Mamooks were put back on
their feet.
3. The Big Block Club was taken
off Its high horse.
3. LSE was made to turn over several new leaves.
4. The whole system of athletics
was made to undergo radical re-or-
4. Ooon clubs were chased off the
University cliffs.
0. Fraternities were made to take
en active part ln oampus life.
6. A stadium was built.
7. A Union Building was erected.
8. CSA was squelched.
9. The campus was cleaned up.
10. The Board of Oovernors was
forced to meet three times a week.
II. The Liberals were re-elected.
13. A war was prosecuted.
13. The King and Queen were
brought to the oampus.
14. Mr. Van Vllet became a father.
15. Tom Williams was forced to remove the cigar and gown.
10. Durkin sold 1100 Totems.
17. Dean Buchanan was forced to
resign—along with President Klinck,
Dean Bollert, and many, many others.
18. The University of British Columbia became the University of B.C.
You don't believe lt?
Well, lt still looks good—and anyway, it's printed now. And when I
go Into the hard, unsympathetic
world of business to ask for unemployment, I oan take this column—
with these inches torn off, of course
—and say, "See? Here's what I did
as an undergrad. Just give me a
chance to show you what can be done
around here . . . ."
Vou still don't believe It? Well—
you haven't changed since September,
1938. And neither have I. I'm still
having a hard time writing a column
—I couldn't even fill this one.
Adlos. amlgos. I'm all stuffed up,
somehow. But that'll wear off, and
think what I can show my children
Applications for membership In the
Historical Society are now being
conaidered. Any atudent who is
entering hia or her third or fourth
year is invited to make application.
Students proposing to take honors
In History will find the Society particularly interesting and helpful.
Please address applications to Miss
Pat Bibbs, secretary-treasurer, c-o
Arts Letter  Rack.
financially the A.M.S. would benefit.
This suggestion we feel to be absolutely essential. If this does not encourage   us  to   vote,   nothing will.
We .hope our new Council will
take notice and DO something. We
must all work for a minimum of
2000 votes next year. We believe it
to be entirely possible.
Yours truly.
For C.A.S.F. Oversew only
11.00 will »*** 100 Sw««* Opt
le • C*m4Ui- *ol-l«-
ASSram—"Sweat Cot"
P. O. Son, 4000, Moi-IimI, Ou*.
" I wa* ihe key man of the regiment."
"Why, did you supply the Sweet Cap*? '
"Th* purttt form in which tobacco can b* tmoktd."
Many Thanks Students
for your patronage
We take this opportunity of extending our thanks to Varsity students for their patronage in the past
year. We have enjoyed serving you.
We wish you all the successful culmination of your year's efforts.
4439 W. 10th Ave.
ALma 0660
Now Playing
MArine 2634
Of Mice and Men
SEymour 6810
SEymour 1900
"Hunchback of
Notre Dame"
Young As You Feel'
SEymour 0M0
Plan to Meet the
After the Exams
for their annual "Send a Boy to Camp" dance
Many U.B.C. Couplea Enjoyed Thia Danoe Last Year
So Let's Form  a Party  And Oo
—One Week After Exams  Finish
9:30 P.M. to 1:30 A.M.
(Evenings)   BAyview  8S75-L
(Jot this number down)
Hrs.: 9 a.m. to S p.m.; Saturdays, 9 a.m. to noon
Graphic Engineering Paper, Biology Paper, ALL  YOUR
Loose Leaf Refills, Fountain Pens and Ink BOOK   SUPPLIES
and Drawing Instruments. SOLD HERE
'++™tp+<*v**+<*++++<p+i*hf*p++*p+++++++wp++++&++++jv++jv^ Friday, March 29, 1940
This Is the last column Nemo will
write this term. Possibly this will
be the last column that Nemo will
ever write. Not that any one Is going
to weep, I suppose. I was going to
try to make this oolumn funny. But
I oan't, because I lost my sense of
Some studenta might say that I
never had a aensa of humor. They
may be right. They say that I pan
too many people. They may be right.
They aay that I am too saroaatlo.
They may be right. I refuse to argue
with thsm. Instead I wtll drivel
about tradition.
Remember Proxy. As Proxy told
you last year the only good .oolumnlst last year was Proxy. Proxy died
last year. Poor Proxy) He was a
food columnist.
There have been a few columnists
this year, crackling of Thorns, Quad
Quirks, The Mortarboard, and, of
course, Nemo. Nemo, If you ask anyone in the Pub, Is a panner. He always pans people, Ideas, and tradition. He Is against a goon issue.
The goon Issue was a tradition.
The stories were all lies. Ths headlines were screwy, upside down.
Nemo did not want a goon issue.
80 the pubsters said that Nemo was
But I don't know. I think Nemo—
even If he Is screwy, whloh he might
be, but won't admit—was one of the
most controversial columnists on tbs
campus for a while. The Mortarboard
wasn't too bad. Wise. He lived up
to his name. But Nemo, undoubtedly
was the best!
One thing about the Mortarboard
always pussled me. As a matter of
faot it still does. Whioh of the mortars does he expect to use? The
professorial, symbolical of stored
wisdom; or the plasterer's, symbolical of stored energy?
As for the Crackling of Thorns
. . . moat people believed there waa
nutting there and If there were D.
Kahma ahould come to a full stop.
Course they were not intellectual
enough. Immature. Of course/
Quad qulrka . . . well Webater aays
that a quirk Is a
'tls true that  Susan did have many
odd ideaa.
Yes ... It la the end of the year.
It might be the end of Nemo. But
maybe Johnny might come up to me
in the Fall and say, "Nemo old man,
we need a panner."
I hope so. I love to pan people,
and things. Psych, for instance, and
interlocking directors such as McOlll,    Durkin,    Backman   .   .   .   Who
"As You Like It"—
Co'Ed Prefers Vulgar
Faction"*" Ohl Lummiel
It was this charming freahette's first
eleotion. After carefully sifting the
relative demerits of each of the-
then-two-hopefuls, she decided In
favor of Harry Lumsden.
When her brilliant eyes gased upon
thoae impressive signs—vote preferentially—she became quite troubled.
She knew she preferred Lumsden but
she did not fully realise the meaning
of this 1 and a business.
Almost brilliantly her mind clicked.
"Eureka," she confided to herself,
"I have lt."
She smiled the smile of viotory.
"3 is two votes for Harry."
Bo she marked 1 for Bain and a
for Lumsden.
Well—eleotlons do depend on how
the mind clicks.
Ritchie Appointed
A.M.U.S. President
Dave Ritchie, third year Arts student was elected by acclamation to the
presidenoy of the Artsmen's Undergraduate Society at a noon hour
meeting yesterday. Ritchie was president of the Junior Olass this year.
Other A.M.V.8. exeoutive positions
inoluded vice-president, Ken Bld-
rldge; seoretary, Doug Hume; treasurer, Sandy Nash.
burled the Law Sooiety and the Film
Sooiety and the Modern Muslo Appreciation Club?
Who oares?
That's an omen.
Yes, go ahead, forget all that
psychological trash spouted by thoae
effusive 'bootleggers' Carnegie, Mured), Jastrow, and Balk In, about doing thlnga In moderation. Possibly
you might end up your oollege life
in Princeton or Yale or Harvard as
a maniac depresalve or a payoh professor . . . but, after all, what does
It matter, how or where you end up?
Publio Stenographer
4481 West -©th AVS.
assays aaa Vheees Vypea
Tenth and Blanca
"Our Service Meana Happy
. Motoring"
MART KENNEY and His Western
Oentlemen . . . available for private
Last Sunday when I should have
been studying for the exams to come
I browsed through a "Colliers" of
twenty years ago. The ads therein
were rather amusing, rather interesting, and rather fallacious.
One whiskey ad proclaimed to the
war-weary public, "Total abstinence
is a form of fear—and fear is the
cause of failure. Cast out fear I"
Very deep thought! Very profound!
m-kteiTwUt^Andi^^^'       „ „      _
But why, oh why, confine the cause
of failure merely to abstinence from
alcohol   and   3   per   cent.   You   don't
smoke, do you Algy? Then you must
be a coward I You don't swear, do you
Josephine?  -Emit, oh gentle co-ed, a
few   virile    oaths    and    regain   your
courage I
You always go to your lectures?
Assert yourself! Forget to come to
one or two or three. The prof will
notice and perhaps respect your absenoe. Do you ever fight wtth your
girl friend? What?—never!
Do so immediately and regain your
masculine superiority!
Most of the students on thla unpredictable campua are aunk, beyond
reparation or hope of recall, in a
schizophrenic abyaa of complete
apathy, anyway. Apparently they
feel that they might as well be one
kind of a mental caao as another.
And, from all indications, since the
meteoric rise and decline of Freud
most of the people have thought it
neoeaaary to subscribe to some
psychological malady or other. Keeping ln fashion, that's all.
Perhapa that is why psych and
phll have developed to auch an
amazing degree the past decade, The
people can adopt that particular
brand which eulogizes their peculiar
mental quirk or twist And, of
course, the psychologist and the
philosopher  will  turn  out,  if  necea-
for the activities
of your—
Stationers and Printers
The aprlng Inter-colleglate conference of the Varaity Christian
Union and allied Pacific Coast groups
of the Inter-Varsity Christian Fellowship will be held April 27-38 at
Lake Whatcom near Bellingham.
The coat of the week-end la $1.70.
Interested atudenta are aaked to get
in touoh with- Jean Prowae or David
F.llta through the Arta Letter Rack
as soon as possible. Transportation
1^ being  arranged.
The Newman Club communion and
breakfast which was to have been
held this Sunday at the Church of
Our Lady of Perpetual Help has
been postponed until Sunday. April
O0 we went a-shopping . . . snd feeling the need of a wardrobe
tonic we hopped off in the South Granville District . . . and visited
our friend Lora Lee ... sf 2814 Granville Street ... all our blues
and doldrums vanished after gazing on the lovely colorful spring
frocks ... we spied a dusky rose frock with the high bodice and fully
gored skirt .... the ideal dress for the small sophisticate .... and its
dainty green blue crisp lace lining the rounded neckline and elbow
sleeves giving just the extra feminine touch .... it wouldn't be true
that a radio society brunette lured a red head from his girl friend (n.t.)
.... as a panacea for exam blues . . . try the two-tone blue vertical
panel frock with miniature white wool embroidery at shoulders and
hip pockets . . . suits, coats and crisp evening frocks for warm weather
.... will make you feel like a carefree soul once more .... and for
graduation togs . . , consult the 2814 Granville Street headquarters of
the smartest campus apparel ....
fi fi fi
ts one petite brunette A.O. Pi ever disillusioned by the wiles of
journalism . ... she had her picture taken with a handsome California
footballer . ... tbe picture appeared in the daily paper, with cut lines
to the effect that he bad just asked her for a tea djtnce date . . . and
what makes her sore is ... . that she wasn't even introduced to him
fi fi fi
Where to now James? . . . RaeSon's at .08 Granville Street . . .
to the Clever Shoe Department where they ensure smartness in footwear for $4.91 and $1.91 . . . . with the popular patents blues and
beiges in dress shoes, sports and afternoon pump to match these,
there are gay handbags of sparkling vivacious colors as well as the
more sombre tones . . . among the many bits of gossip that we had
intended to tell you about long, long ago, was the charming blonde
who was charming enough to cause a campus correspondent to miss
the last ferry home .... and so the poor lad spent the night in the
newspaper office .... spectator pumps in combination shades are a
popular and chic style for late spring .... as well as the comfy saddle
shoes .... and these very attractive shoe styles are found on the
Mezzanine Floor oi Rae-Son's ... for wise buys and style leaders in
footwear for all occasions (and especially those pre-graduation function) .... a RaeSon shoe will provide the note of distinction to your
wardrobe ....
fi fi fi
Best excuse for tardiness we have heard, was given by a professor
Wednesday morning . ... he told the class that due to tbe half-holiday
cn route to Varsity, he had to get some dog food for his wife ....
fi fi fi
Now what? .... A touch of spring .... of the beauties of
nature .... in other words a nosegay of violets .... to pin to your
new coat ..... and Roselawn, 724 Granville Street, have fragrant
bunches with the dew crystals still gleaming on them .... then thinking ahead to graduation .... make your girl's graduation perfect by
sending her some cut flowers .... or a special corsage .... boxed and
tied with gold and blue ribbon .... and for all those functions,
dances and teas .... she will welcome the act of thoughtfulness from
you when she receives your flowers . . . Marine 1036 . . . how they
ever inveigled a certain self-styled woman-hater into going on a blind
date, is beyond us .... but he hasn't forgotten it yet .... as a last
reminder, Mother's Day comes early in May ... so while you are
enjoving your days of freedom prepare something special for your
mother on that occasion .... just to show her that you haven't forgotten her .... aw fooey, we don't know what the date i but
it's around May  11  ....
t-u P * f»
There is a very annoyed history student on the campus . ... he
just can't keep awake tn lectures .... "It's all the fault of those
lecture seats .... they're Restmore" ....
fi fi fi
Two C.O.T.C. ers don't seem to be hitting it off lately . ... it
couldn't have been a case of "cutting in" on the other one's sir I friend
now could it? ... .
fi fi fi
We would like to dedicate this spot to all those who didn't appear
in this column .... and the Alpha Delts who boasted that their pasts
and presents were haloed .... and the Kappas who crashed the Coed
Ball . . . . and the second year Scienceman who still hasn't explained
away the mythical red-head that his girl heard about .... and the
Electricals who have gone glamour on us ... .
fi fi fi
.... and, oh well, it goes on ad infinitum, so happy landings and
goodbye Ma 'n Pa	
snry, some novel philosophical sop
to appease those needing appeasement. Perhaps that ls why psych and
phll are such popular courses at
U.B.C. Our studenta definitely need
Oh, well  ... as Shakespeare aald:
"Life's but a walking ahadow . . . "
help YOUR date for the Co-
Ed Danoe to be the "Beau
of the Bail" wtth a lovely
boutonnlere from Brown
Bros. And for yourself—a
■mart corsage that ia correct and Inexpensive.
Joe Brown (Arta '23). Mgr.
The S. M. U. S. eleotlons will be held
April 4, 1940 on Thursday. Aggies
please keep away.
(Continued from Page 1)
(That's   how  lt  would  sound  If  It
were true.—Ye  Eds.)
605 Oranvllle Street
Visit Vancouver's Most Beautiful Cafe
After-Theatre Teas Fascinating Teacup Reading
with a
Smart in appearance
Accurate in performance
A Challenger is always
correct everywhere
leopatra* m**tr*»» of *h* nu*,
Owed mora to Plcobac than to ttductlv* guilt.
• Picobae may provide a solution to the mystery
ot Anthony's enchantment. Certainly Plcobse—
always a mild, cool, sweet smoke, the pick of
Canada's Burley crop—Is enchanting. It may
have charmed Anthony. Today Plcobac is no
Ptolemlc secret but it is available to plebs and
patrldstu at remarkably low price.
i/a-LB. "LOK.TOP" TIN   -   60*
^^^. also peefceo* In  Pocket Tins
It DOES totle good in • pipe I
(Continued from Page 8)
reasons for the charm of the building. Studenta owe, Indeed, profound
thanka to theae two people, eaoh of
whom haa shown that his heart lies
in our University.
But we oould go on forever in
this easy going manner. We could
review the efforts of Campaign Committees, and ask what will be done
with the Baat Mall,
WE HAVE the Preventive Medi-
OIVEN cine   Building   In   the
terms ahead; we
could talk of limitation of registration, of Oovernment grants, of
longer noon hours, and of endowment   schemea.     But    'twould    take
Milt's Frenoh Composition Text lost.
Boy Hayman promises to share the
English notes therein with the finder
if said finder will return book to the
AMS offlce.
The Book Exchange will pay off
commencing Monday, April 1, 1040.
Collect your money or your unsold
booka between the houra of 13:80
and 1:80.
too muoh apaoe. What haa happened In thia connection ia known,
what must and will happen . . well?
The end is near, and . . . calls met
I must, therefore, arise and go now
to the lonely . . . the mind dulls . . .
the Liberal landslide Is over and the
war ia in sate handa ... if In doubt
aee Darrell Braldwood and his
frienda. . . . We take our leave.
Everyone likes our new
"Town Hall Drape" with ita
clean out line of shoulder
and waist, combining nonchalant style with greatest
comfort to the wearer.
$26.95 to $40.00
We agree with you girls,
mannish clothea are the
"smart" things to wear.
WE, being leadera, In men'a
styles should be able to lead
the way in Women'a tailored
garments? Well we oan —
we're experts in our field—-
and we know that we can
add Juat that extra "umph" to
that tailored ault — So-o-o
come ln—choose from our
wide variety ot tweeds and
Imported worsteds—and let
us do the rest.
Bond Clothes Shop
Friday, Maroh 29, 1940
Governors Ratify New Program
of Required Physical Education
to be Instituted Next September
Rugger Clash
For the flrst time in years, the
Vanoouver Rugby Union will usher
out their season with a 'natural'. Unlike former years when the Issue of
the ownership of the Miller Oup had
bsen deolded In advance the current
standings finds both Varsity and
Meralomas bidding for the silverware,
the Kitsles challenging a five-year
lease that Varsity has held -of the
Miller Oup tomorrow at Brockton
The Lomans who took an early
league lead were conceded at flrst to
be- shoo-ins for the trophy but a
sudden orange relapse, plus a surprising UJB.O. revival has left the
experts guessing.
The Varsity line-up will remain
almost intact with one or two possible changes. Basil Robinson Is slated to replace someone In the three-
quarter line, as yet unnamed. The
team will be practically coach-less tomorrow as Maury Van Vllet accompanied the Traok Team to Portland,
and co-coach Tom Stewart is swathed in bandages recovering from an
automobile accident.
All Faculties Will be Affected By Plan
To Give Three Year Course in Athletics
(Exclusive to the Ubyssey)
The biggest news of the Athletic Year broke yesterday with
the announcement that the Board of Governors of the University
had ratified a plan submitted by Maury Van Vliet and Gertrude
Moore to institute a program of required physical education for
all Faculties. The new scheme, which at present will embrace only
those undergraduates with at least two years of their University
life ahead of them, will go into effect in September.
Thia radical move whioh has been stirring; for some
At the annual Pub Tea Doug
Watt was chosen next year's
Sports Editor. Oerry Armstrong
and Austin Frith were promoted to Associate Editor positions,
while Dune MacTavish was elevated to an Assistant Editor.
AU the luok ln the world to
them.—Sports Ed.
Have Tour Shoes
In the New Fall Fashion
Men's Half Betes  We
Men'* Rubber Heels 80©
Men's Leather Heels  40e
Ladles' Ten Lifts   flOe
Ladles' Rubber Heels  9_e
FuU Soles, Rubber Heels
and Shine    $LS_
Shoes Dyed Blaok  40o
Empire Shoe
TIM W. Pender TRin. 4788
The Canadian
Tenth and Sasamat Branoh
A general bank business
is transacted and accounts
of the faculty and students
of the University of British
Columbia  are   weloomed.
O. R. Myers, Manager
 .  u» _     	
ktion in athletlos, and five the atudenta a healthier out
look on life," aald oo-direotors Moore and Van Vllet,
aooorded them by the Governors.
time now will lesaen the emphasis upon minority partiei-
Ktion in athletlos, and
»k on life," aald oo
pleased at the aupport
The offlolal sanction was given at the regular Board of Oovernor's
meeting last Thursday but waa withheld from the publio until today, while
modifications and minute details were straightened out.
Immense Scope
"The soope of this new 'course' is immense," Van Vllet told the Ubyssey
laat night, "and Is the onm thing towards which both Miaa Moore and
myaelf have expended all our energy."
Student participation in thla required program will be demanded ot
all undergraduates in all faculties, with nothing lesa than official aanotion
by a phyaloian being accepted aa an excuae. The only onea to eacape will
be next year'a senior clasa who would be unable to receive any benefit ln
academic standinga from such a course.
Aooording to the plans drawn up, the course will consist of one-hour
a week lecturea and gym classes with examinations at the end of the year,
giving the passing student one unit. The course will be 'compulsory', then,
for three yeara, thus allowing each undergraduate to amaaa enough unlta
to replace one oourse, necessarily not one of the atudent'a major subjeota.
To include those students who will be enrolled as Juniors next
September, the lecture hours will be lengthened to one and a half
hours, for them eaoh year's work carrying IH units. To  handle
the Inoreaaed strain on facilities la a major problem but Van Vllet
expressed the opinion that prominent figures In Vanoouver athletlo
circles would be ashed to help until students could be Installed aa
part-time instructors, similar ln position to those working In the
Van Vllet, who ia now travelling with the Track team to Portland will
visit his Alma Mater, University of Oregon, to plok up some Information
from the Physical Education Department there, and Is planning an
extended visit this summer to many prominent colleges across the line
where such a program has been a vital part of atudent life for many years.
Co-Ed Sports
Oerry Amurtvoiiff
Orchids to Rosemary Collins for
her splendid work as W.A.A. prexy.
'Roey' has alwaya been prominent In
campus sports, having played hockey,
basketball, and all Intramurals. Last
year she was Senior Basketball manager. In fact she Is generally good ln
all sports ... a blonde still fancy
Sadly missed In the hockey lineup will be Myrne Nevlson and Elisabeth Norte. Captain of the team for
three years, Myrne Is one of the
beet forwards in the elty, representing Varsity on an all-star team
this year.  Moreover, she wrote an
exoellent  sporta  column   for   three
years. Representing Varsity on this
year'a  Rep  team,  Elisabeth proved
herself a well nigh invincible halfback.   These   stalwarts   aim   to   be
aehool marma next year.
Following the same vocation will be
Lois Harris, one of the most aggressive players of the Senior A Basketball team.
Freshette' standouts . . . Helen
Matheson who became hockey goalie
on the All Star team . . . Jean Bck-
hardt representing B.C. tn Dominion
badminton tournaments . . . Brenda
Phillips and Joyce Orchard Senior A
basketball players.
Multiple   Big   Block   winners . . .
Hortense Warne and Myrne Nevlson.
Bouquets   to   every   girl   who   took
her part in campus sports,
doom Bye
Trimble at Tenth
For Printing...
Printers of the Ubyssey
1037 W. Pender St. SEymour 4484
UNIVERSITY PEOPLE . . . student!
and faculty alike . . . will find a friendly, helpful banking service at Canada's
Oldest Bank.
**«__■__»»» isiv
E. J. SCHEIDEL, Mgr. *"
"A Bank where small Accounts are welcome."
Weat Point Gr«y Branch:  SASAMAT AND TEJNTH
,***r**J,ii*iii«>iifflsnta*>i*iiiiitni**** — i f iti ii*
Smiling at the people who will be
required to sweat off exceaa poundage due to the new ruling about all
undergraduates taking a physical
education course la genial Maury
Van Vllet. Phyalcal Education Director who waa the spearhead of the
project. Maury In accepting this
added burden haa proved himself
to be the best spirited man at the
Cinder Pounders
At Portland For
Academy Meet
Maury Van Vliet and aeven Varaity
Track Men are wending their way to
Portland today to compete ln the Hill
Academy Indoor Championships tonight. /
In this year's meet of champions,
the U.B.O. has an entry ln the feature
race of the meet. Al Hurst will compete ln the two mile race againat the
American greats, Ohuck Fenske and
Don Lash. Hurst broke the twin mile
record here last week and Is rated a
good chance against the Amerloan
The relay team which will be comprised of Stu Madden, Ted Scott,
Doug Alexander and Wilf Pendray,
ls Varsity's white hope to recognition
at the meet.
Tomorrow morning the team will
Journey from Portland to Washington to meet the U. of W. Freshmen
at their campus. The UJB.C. team will
be augmented with more talent who
will leave on Saturday morning at
8.30. The re-lnforeements are Tommy
KUnkhammer, Jim Sinclair, Elgar,
Bob Lloyd, Ian McDonald, Oambell
Williams, Brown, McLeod, Bill Swinton and Bob Davidson.
Lost!   "Beginning   Oerman"  on   Kaf
stairs. Urgently needed. E. W. Mitchell, Arta Letter Rack.
Warren and Carmlchael Payohology
text loat. Finder pleaae return to the
Alma Mater Office.
The V. C. U. will elect officers on
Thursday, April 4 at 12.48 in room
Arts 304. All membera are asked to
Fraternity and Sorority
Printing and Engraving
Our Specialty
866 Seymour St,
Where and Oh! Where
Has the Clean-Up
Campaign Gone?
Not so long ago various organisations on this campus promised to
wage a clean-up-the-campua and
clean-up-the-caf campaign. For about
two weeks the co-eds did not throw
their cigarette ashes on the floor; the
caf loungers did not toss their apple
cores and their lunch bags on the
floor; campus politicians did not toss
too much dirt around the caf.
But apparently times have changed; and apparently for the worse. The
students seem to have returned to
their old sloppy habits. They have
encouraged the growth of primitive
habits peculiar to the orang-outang
or hairy gorilla.
Perhaps It is too late. But why
didn't some hopeful politician advocate an orientation course in
campus etiquette and campus cleanliness?
It might have helped.
If she spumes and sputters .
If ahe Is too fat . . .
Spring: Song*
Yesterday waa the flrst offlelal
day of aprlng. That means It's
time to give your car a spring
check up. Let your friendly
neighborhood? Home Oas dealer show you what a difference
he oan make In the operation
of your car with his oomplete
spring check up servloe. Tour
motor will sing a spring song
when he Is through.
The Independent 100%
fl. C. Company


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