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UBC Publications

The Ubyssey Feb 6, 1945

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 • HEADED BY PRESIDENT DOC MORTON waving the banner of
Science, the EUS executive lends the Great Trek to the Commodore.
Close behind the leader Miner Bob Olson hikes along complete with a
shovelful of Q and hard-hat. Cautious -Civil Bob Graves insists on surveying the route with his patented rolling transit.
Unable to wait for tho tracks to be laid in his haste to get to
the Commodore, Mechanical Jim Bryant chugs ;ilong in a snappy Model
T locomotive. The happy little man on the flatcar behind i.s Chemical
John Powell,  complete with  portable still.
Right behind Powell but gaining fast is not Superman, but Electrical
Harry Ellis hitting a fast pace, accompanied by Sailor Ted Kirkpatrick
of Science '47 and Mamook Ron Grantham of Science '48.
Bringing up the rear Les "City Slicker" Raphael, prominent member
of the "Under 60% in Physics Club," treks along with after his spiritual
Morton Leads
Engineers Trek
To Commodore
(Special to The Ubyssey)
—This little settlement is agog at the sight of more than
five hundred stalwart Engineers preparing to start a long
and arduous trek through the wilds of Vancouver to the
Promised land of Commodore.
Led  by the  president  of
EUS, Doc "Moses" Mortqn,
the Redshirts plan to start
•ut on the Trek early Thursday evening and expect to
assemble at the Commodore
at 2100 hours. The festivities
will continue until the last
Engineer drops in his treks4
Assisting Morton with preliminary arrangements such as the propaganda meeting to-day at noon
and the collection of stray rations
iu Bud "The Great" Huff. Huff
has arranged this gathering to acquaint the trekkers with the rules
and regulations of the expedition.
Down in the depths of Brock
Hall Djug "Leonardo" Shadbolt
and Doug "Michaelangelo" Campbell are toiling to produce .suitable banners to decorate the Commodore after the triumphant arrival of the Engineers,
The (.'las,-, presidents are whipping their companies into shape
and delivering last minute instructions. The following directions
wetv issued at a recent Trek meeting:
1. All memlxT.s of E)US taking
part in tiie Trek must pay a special Trek licence fee of S3.50. This
licence admits the holder to th '
Commodore and may be obtained
from any class president. Don't
make the mistake of wearing a
blue or yellow sweater when you
go to buy one.
t. Dress is optional. If you
want to wear a business suit, wear
a business suit. If you want to
wear a tux, wear a tux. You'll
have plenty of company either
way.  Tuum Est.
3. There will be a mystery
(Ha!) prize awarded for the best
decorated table. The only clue
that has been allowed to leak out
wa# eagerly lapped up by the
Redshirts. It seems that the psizc
is something inmost impossible to
obtain these days.
4. Bririg your own .... girl.
Engineering Club
Invites Students
To Be Members
• ESTABLISHED by the fourth
and fifth year Civil Engineers
the student branch of the -Engineering Institute of Caneda invites
students from all branches of Engineering   to   become   inciiib  rs.
Meetings are held every second
week and are addressed by prominent practising engineers. In addition student members are eligible to attend the monthly meetings of the Vancouver branch of
the   Institute.
Any Engineering students interested in joining the Institute as
student members may obtain full
information and application blanks
from Dean Finlayson's office. Annual fee is $2.00 which includes
membership and monthly issues
of the  "Engineering Journal."
No. 45
Brains, Brawn
And Nurses at
Big Trek Meet
• TODAY, NOON, the
Sciencemen are doing
what only Sciencemen can
do. That is — put on THE
one and only Pep Meet of
the year to advertise THE
one and only Science Tt'ek
to the Commodore next
Thursday night.
Hurry over to the auditorium
today at  12:30 and  sit  in on  the
Skit House Melodrama, thc melodies of thc Draughting Room
Quartet, and the infamous ad libs
of Mickey i()nce upon a time.
long lung ai/n, in a land far fur
,,v.a\i Burrow- ,.,-, Mu..ter of Cer-
i monies.
Th.' Air Force Band will l>e there
to give with the jive, and Joe Micelli ha.s promised to bring Pat
Kirkpatric, the little songstress
who stole the show at the Red
Cross pop meet.
Already the Auditorium ha.s
been invaded by the Red Shirts
who are strengthening the walls
and installing automatic crowd
controllers, 'for this year there is
an all-star, out-of-eontrol script
and the Discipline Committee
must be kept out at all costs.
Portraying tiie cultural side of
life the Science members of th,'
Glee Club have arranged a song
or two ou the classic side just to
prove that brain, hj'awn, and culture are all talents characteristic
of the "Little Red Devils."
GIRLS yet:
The girls of the Nursing Faculty
have consented to appear in behalf
of education; and will pros'lit a
scientific version of "the care and
feeding of infants." This should
prove beneficial to all Sciencemen
in their future relations with the
Arts   Faculty.
The curtain goes up sharp at
12:30 noon so don't be late. Front
seats have a premium but everyone is welcome while there is a
seat in the house. Even the Fire
Marshall will be there in case th <
conflagration spreads from the
stage to the audience or verse
viea. At dress rehearsals all scientific torn nc Hurt's were broken
when the siege became crowded
with w'aal the Science-men termed
a local feminine attraction. However, le, curt.tin time tilings should
he under control sufficiently to
l.ei p hedi temperature cases in
thc audience at ,1 minimum.
Artsmen are warned not to sit
too close to the stage since it is
reported that they arc highly in -
flammable, at am rale, highly
excitable (nul the Engine.ts don't
want Ihe .show interrupted by any
extinguished-looking personnel of
the   Arts,   F.icultv
Tickets for Ihe Ball are going
fasl .\l^<^ Engineers who have not
already purchased their tickets
are urged to see their class repres-
i ntative ,  .is  soon   as  possible
McLeod Runs...
»"   t   '~ £ 1
. . . For President
Civils Survey
Class of '45
• NINETEEN s t a 1 w a rt
slide-rule operators, the
largest Civil Engineering
Class in UBC history, have
hopes of graduating in 1945.
The practise of their profession will take them to bars
and wet canteens throughout the world; they will be
I'oifnd leading the way
wherever there is a tough
job or some hard drinking to
be done.
Collectively they are a hardworking team and individually
their personalities are worthy of
investigation, Doug Anderson
leads the list with a quiet, efficient manner; a surveyor of pro-
curves. Bob Minnie; is secretary
of th.> Civils' Student Chapter of
the Enginicoring Institute of Canada; a good fraternity man and
true  to  his gal.
Frankie Bunnell is the class honours boy; a whirlwind mind and
a personality to match it. Gordie
Calderhead is an unknown variable; on > of a long line of probably continuous "Betas." John
"Tie-Camp'' Confortin is construction chief on the class' Science
Ball exhibit; a diamond in the
• Continued   On   Page   2>
•    HUGH McLEOD, third year Arts honours student, haa
entered the race for president of the AMS for 1945-46.
McLeod has been active in campus clubs since arriving at the
university two years ago after spending one year at Victoria College. He
has served on the executive of the Parliamentary Forum and has been
active in the Musical Society and the Psychology Club. He is also a
member of the University Students Co-Operative Association.
"Living in such an environment
Science Has
rs Morton
By ROY MORTON, El S President
• THIS IS not Applied
Science Week. To- the
Engineers such a pep period
i.s not necessary. The Arts-
men, however, had one week
to call their own. Then it
happened. The Russians began their offensive, the B.C.
Electric employees went on
strike, and Gordie Campbell
joined the Navy. The University returned to normal.
In all seriousness 1 believe that
the Engineers wore almost as disappointed as the Arts Executive
must have been. We take this opportunity to wish Gordie the best
of luck. He was a man the Arts-
men needed.
Let us return to the more interesting topic of Engineering;
Each year the engineers are accused of being over-tndowed with
faculty spirit and being apathetic
towards the university as a whole.
(Iran ted we have faculty spirit,
plenty of it, but our interest in
university affairs should be apparent.
It cannot be claimed that the
Engineers do not attend AMS
meetings. Furthermore, if it were
not for the 'Engineers no one
would have attended Arts class
elections in years past. When it
comes to keeping an eagle eye on
Council, the redshirts are second
to none
I feel that 1 am constantly in touch
with a cross-section of student
opinion. I believe that I am callable of understanding the specific
problems of the individual faculties after living and working with
members of Science, Arts, Commerce, and Aggie."
His plattoT-m centers around the
alea that th" next president will
have to govern a larger student
body than ill the past and that
any plans formed must have this
in mind.
"As president of the Alma Mater
Society, my platform would include the following:
1. To regard t h e Students'
Council as a government and attempt to run it as a democratic
government should be run.
2. To realize the necessity for
closer co-operation of Council and
tho student body no matter what
particular form council takes,
3. To take definite steps to aid
in the adjustment of the returned
men to the campus.
4. To support to the utmost any
move to establish new faculties;
e.g..  law and medicine.
5. To promote any move to construct new buildings to house our
present as well as future faculties.
fi. To promote the building of
student  residences on  the campus.
7. To favour a wider control of
athletics by the Men's athletic Di-
lectorate rather than Council.
Don't Forget The
Gigantic Trek Meet
There will be a meeting of Delta
Sigma Pi en Thursday, February
10, at .1:30 in the Mildred Brock
• STANISLAUS Studo, a scholar in the Gods of Olympus
I'nivorsitas at Ath-ns, Greece, had
it-ached his !wenty-fir.st year with
very little to trouble him. lie
wasn't,   an   Kngineer.
He was twenty-one aud three-
i|Uartois; when elections Were held
for officers of the Greek It'public
in the year !H"> It. C. Sumislaus
was entitled  to a vote.
But on election day, Stanislaus
dropped into the Thor Throwt Ke-
fro.shiivnt Parlour, He .sat there
all dav. and forgot to cast bis vote.
lie   cast   his   vote   aw.iv
When the next meeting of the
Democratic Council of the Republic of Greec . was held Stanislau ,
. I 'ended
The Democratic Council passed
resolution th it declared the Thor
Throwt Refreshment Parlour "Out
of bounds for all .scholars in the
Gods of Olympus Universitas, especially, if they are called Stanislaus."
StaiiislsUs  stood   up  to object.
"Friends. Greeks, Countrymen,"
he   began.
But the Democratic Council a-
rose  with a  roar.
"He   didn't   vole."   they  roared.
Slam- km.-, leaped to a pedestal
io   make   himself   heard
The members kicked him off
his   pedestal
The- Thor Throwt Refreshment
Parlour  was  closed.
Stanislaus died sever,d days later of a Thor  Throwt.
His last worij.s were. "Tell the
..indents of the University of British Columbia to vo(t, on the Seventh   of  February.   1U-1.V"
So vote. Don't make Staiiisl.iU'i
iurii over in his grave. Remember,
lie had a Thor Throwt- and all Idealise  h.   didn't   vote.
FEBRUARY 6, 1945
The Prophet
Too many people in British Columbia
are holding the opinion that a person cannot
possibly be considered well educated unless
he holds a degree from some eastern Canadian or American university. They are
blissfully oblivious to the fact that degrees
granted by their own university are respected by educators throughout North America,
but instead prefer to believe that eastern
education is the ultimate. It is the old story
of thc prophet being without honour in his
own land.
Granted, it is now necessary to travel
east to take law, medicine, or advanced postgraduate work, but have we any reason to
assume that it should always be that way?
New faculties are being planned. At first
they will have enough of the trials and tribulations of a new venture without running
up against the apathy of those who should
be staunch supporters.
The Engineers have never acknowledged this so-called superiority of eastern graduates. While admitting that facilities for research are better at some other institutions,
they claim that UBC graduates in Applied
Science ere second to none. This claim is
backed by the knowledge that our grads are
eagerly sought throughout the world. From
the mines of South Africa and Peru to the
oil-wells of Arabia UBC men can be found
keeping production rolling.
In recent years the Faculty of Applied.
Science has grown steadily until it is now
filled to overflowing. The lecture rooms are
crowded, but it is in the laboratories that
the lack of space is most apparent. There
are many students on the campus who have
vivid recollections of "swing shift" physics
labs running from 4:30 to 7:30. The famed
Christmas graduations are not a sadistic
whim of the professors but rather a grim
Plans have been laid for great expansion in the post-war period and "reliable
sources" lead us to hope that some of the
more essential expansion will come before
the end of hostilities. Some individuals and
organizations have seen fit to make substantial gifts towards the establishment of new
faculties and departments. This is the spirit
we need, and with its growth the prophet
may yet be honoured in his home province.
We've Done it Again
For the seventh consecutive ycar the
Engineers have invaded the Pub to produce
the annual SCIENCE UBYSSEY. Our amateur journalists and columnists have attempted to present a representative cross-
section of the activities of the undergraduates of the Faculty of Applied Science. We
have described the redshirts at work and
play with only the principles of English 3
and 4 to guide us.
One of the great things that a Science-
man develops in his five years at UBC is
the ability to laugh at himself. We therefore
take this opportunity to let others see us as
we see ourselves and hope that they can
appreciate the situations as we do.
The opinions expressed in the SCIENCE
UBYSSEY are our own,  and  in no way"
represent the editorial policy of the regular
stalf. We accept full responsibility for them.
We give you the SCIENCE UBYSSEY
for 1945.
The University of British Columbia is
preparing for a large increase in the student
body in the near future, according to Prof-
J. N. Finlayson, Dean of the Faculty of Applied Science. Dean Finlayson is the chairman of a committee which has been engaged
for some time in planning the expansion of
the university. '
From surveys made in the a med services, it i.s evident that many such men intend to continue their education at university afli'i' disehan;v, with the aid of gnvern-
tnenl otanla. Already '-anno 100 ex-servicemen lire at L'l'C taking first and second year
mork. Many more ex-servicemen are expected to enrol later, .and the increased number
of students will place a heavy burden on
the already overcrowded classrooms and
The committee under Dean Finlayson
has already drawn tip preliminary block
plans for additions to the Library, the
Science building, and the Arts building; and
has considered the construction of two new
buildings, a women's dormitory, and an Applied Science building. These plans will be
limited only by the amount granted for the
purpose by the Legislature.
At present, ihe block plans for the new
Library wing are completed, but this does
not necessarily mean that the library wing
will be constructed first. The wing will provide much more room for stacks and study
tables. The addition to the science building
will extend back from the present structure
to form a side of the hollow square building
originally' planned.
The two new buildings will follow the
university architects' plans as closely as possible. The women's dormitory will be erected in the space allotted at the north end of
the mall, while the applied science building
will occupy the power house block possibly
nocossitating the removal of the bus slop
from its prest'iit site.
The applied science building will probably be divided into sections housing the
.mechanical, electrical, civil, and chemical
departments. ' The present power house
would form an integral part of the mechanical engineering section. If it is not possible
to start work on the applied science building
soon, a second floor will be added to the
present electrical engineering building to
provide room for radio and electronic equipment.
It is hoped that construction of the additions or the buildings will start this
chemicals try anything - except work
• AT ll'alO on a bright Vancouver morning we appr . ach the
Chc.eie.,1 Kngin ering Lib in the
basenk nl of the Sciinee building.
It is ju.d o;-pu ,'de the Janitor's
cubby hole but you can't confuse
them.   Tho Janitor has a  radio.
After loosening our ties and rolling up our sleeves Wo enter the
lab thumbing avidly through some
book, desperatt ly hoping to create the impression that we have
been there since 8:.'10 but have
been over to the library to get
some   technical   volume.
Grouped around a table in a
deep technical discussion we ee
Stusiak. Out of the huddle wc
can sometimes hear such highly
technical phrases as, "liaise three
red ones," "I'll stay," ami "Flush
take . it," which are quite mean-
ill:' less to til:- uninitiated.
In snath, i- part of the lab Cooke.
Daw-oil, (,'oU-onv. and Clarke ai'i
work mg on a kmny column.
Thi.. ;.; a > e y i i.mgerou -. piece ol
;,]>;>.c .i; ii.--. .ui ! I'r qu. ntl> s', udent ^
v, ho ui'iiiii'i"! to work . ,|i it all
nii'ht ore found stretched out on
tin floor beside H in the morning.
V.'c don't ki.ua, uhy they keep it
around. The mill thim.; it \vdl
make ii, Mil     .dcohol.
We 11-aW ll"llCe Hicllard io Bibbs
and Dr. "vV F. Sever sitting opposite each otlier at a small table.
Neither   of   them   is   speaking   but
we em sec that they arc working
on som ■ abstruse problem. Here,
doubtless, is engineering at its
finest. As we approach Dr. Seym's lips move and we lean for-
v, unl to catch the Words, "Your
We pass on reverently to Mr.
Dunell who is doing some research
work. It is very secret and none
of us knows what lie i.s doing, In
fact, it is so secret that Mr. Dunell has frequently said that even
he did not know what he was
Off to one corner is our prize
student taking the Steam Engineering option. Mr. Cochrane looks
after all the steam pipes and
valves in the lab. He is so thorough that his method 'of fixing a
•calve is to start in the power plant
and crawl down the line to it,
xxx powei.l
This leaves only "Honest John"
Powell who really wanted to take
Jaliitation. However, the fellow
he button-holed to fill out his registration booklet made a mistake
somewhere and be wound up in
Chemical Enginevring, Or maybe
it was because he signed the book
Feeling that our absence ha.s
not been detected we h.vid for the
door again. The instructor beats
us to  it,
"Where were you from 8:30 to
10:,'In this morning'."' b0 asks, almost   tenderly,
"We were si inlying in our car-
jell," we chortle triumphantly,
waving   our   hook   carelessly.
"WeM," ,aid he. "that clears up
a lot. I just came from your carrel! and I was wondering why it
was s-i crowded."
Oh hell.   You can't win.
Sorely Beset
Nurse Becomes
• CAREENING merrily
homeward on the palatial UBC bus last Monday I
had a serious talk with myself.
"The noble profession of
nursing with all its glorious
tenets calls for your help.
Florence Nightingale herself
beckons you on. You must
put your shoulder to the
wheel and dig up some old
clothes for the blitzed shivering citizens of Britain."
So I dug. I plowed through old
trunks, closets, and bureau drawers for an hour nnd a half and I
emerged with a wonderful collection exceeding my wildest dreams.
Dresses, .shoes, hats, sweaters,
socks, and a pair of rather ancient
trousers, I piled my loot on tho
chesterfield and proceeded to sort
it out for wrapping. 1 could hear
the joyous shouts and happy congratulations of my fellow nurses
as I trundled into the Science
Building in the a.m. laden with
Lost in this rosy dream I failed
to note Uie approach of ono of my
near relatives until he bore down
on mo and howled in his customary manner:
"Hey,    whathehellsamatter   wit-
chn? Watcha doin' with my sweatshirt and football socks, hey? Ain't
a fellow got no right?  Lay oil my,
stulT. see?"
"Oh, well,'' I philosophized, "I
still have plenty left." But then in
swished Mother.
"Why honey," she said, "You've
found my lost housecoat, aren't
you sweet." Swish. It was gone.
Also two of my sister's old dresses
which would make good house-
dresses for her, she was sure; two
sweaters (to hang out the washing
in) and a pair of old slippers tiiat
I didn't like but she did.
Need I go on" Shall I tell with
tears and lanien-tations bow tw
more sisters sa.hted stuff and
snatched same. I wi.s left with
fall.■■!■'.. linns-!,: and a hat which
lees, l\ note". ,[ in-eall o I ',Ca. sit-
t,ug on It all the time. Ju-t ,» tills
moment in walked, dear old sympathetic Dad. 1 turned my Car-
dimmed eyes towards him.
"What," he screamed sympathetically, "are my million dollar pants
doing here? I.s your mother trying
to throw them out again? She
knows that they are the only pants
I can work around here in."
That did it. I really broke loose
and told my poor excuse for a
family precisely what I thought of ■
them. I described the horrors of
V-bombs and withered them (my
so-called family, that is) with
It hit Father at any rate but not •
hard enough to make him part
with his pants. Oh, no. He gal-
lopped up to the attic and came
thundering down with a world
shaking donation. It looved like a
hale of black hair, dust, moths,
bobby pins, buttons, green felt and
glass eyes to say nothing ol a had
"Here, little girl," lie said sacri-
licially, "give them the Hear bug."
, When 1 left homo this morning
the upstairs window opened and
tiie million dollar pants fluttered
down aided by mother's gentle
hand. So I put on the pants, set
the crushed hat jauntily on my
head and draped the Bear Rug
over the works.
That's how 1 got in this case in
Ihe Library Museum, but when I
get out I'll always be able to say
[  supported   the  old  clothes  drive.
lie rounded a bend at close to
forty. A sudden skid and the car
overturned. They found themselves .sitting together unhurt,
alongside (lie completely wrecked
car. He put his arm around h■■;•
waist, but she drew away,
"It's all very nice," she sighed,
"but wouldn't it have been easier
to run out of gas?"
Had men want their uunion to
In like ch'sirettes slender and
'run. all in a row, to be selected
at w III, set ail ami' and w ben tho
I'IsiiH: ha.-, subsided, di ^carded only
Io  sold t   another.
The fastidious man wants hi .
women to he like ('cars -th.-v last
loiigi r. for after all, if the brand
i, good. I he.'.- are .eldom discarded
but   Used   to   the  v\v\.
The good tiisu wants hi., women
to he like his pipe s. anotliim.; Ic
become , at tacked Io, kno-'k -. gen! -
i\ bul ha iii.t!;. , takes good care of
A mu will givi yoi- ,, cigarette,
■ ffe: y - a cigar, but he never
shares  in,-    ,   ,',''   '   !   1
-■Oliii) State Sundial
Dawson Club Perfects
Mk. II El Stuffo Trap
•    MINERS, METALLURGISTS, and Geologists have released  information of the secret building of "El Stuflo
Trap Mark II," (hereinafter ruferred to as "EST Mkll.")
Similar to EST Mk 1, which was highly successful at
last year's Science Ball with a ne{, yield of 52 oz., the Mk II
model i.s the culmination of the united efforts of the three
Research was sparked by
that Irish genius, Jim Don-
nan. Structural details were
worked out by miners Olio
Olson, Doc Morton, City
Boy Carver, and Flash Seraphim. They guarantee that
their truss, designed entirely
during CE 9 periods, will
collapse on all available El
Transportation will be handled
by that well-known coal miner,
Farmer MacKinnon. Mac's ability
in this line, due no doubt to his
eanjy agrarian training, was demonstrated during the recent Vancouver Island bus tie-up, when he
commandeered' a chicken-truck to
transport the Club on its coalmining field trip.
A new EP Stuffo-proof alloy,
known as Alky X, was developed
by Metallurgists Dave Berryman
and Sgt. Romeo Ralph Barer. The
entire interior of EST Mk II will
be lined with Alky X. Though
still on the "hush-hush" list, Alky
X is known to be superior to platinum, monel, chrome-moly, or Any
known alloy. Corrosion rate has
been reduced to 0.91 pounds per
quart per hour at room temper-
Favourable El Stuffo locations
nflve been thoroughly scouted by
geologists. Equipped with a copy
of Dana (unabridged), a Ouija
board MkVII, and the« latest geophysical apparatus, Rocky Mountain Roots and G-2 Jones narrowed the field to central down-town
Vancouver. Several siliceous concretions, pseudomorphous after
UDL 3 Crown, were found by Sinatra Sharp and Cariboo Parliament
in the Commodore beds of the
Granville formation.
A. strict application of tiie  prin
ciples of the strain ellipsoid, "Q
and V", Scrap Iron II, and "take
and put," conyinced Dawsonites
that this would be an ideal place
to try out EST Mkll.
Stock in EST Mk II may be
bought from any Fourth Year
Dawsonite. Current price on the
curb market is one February ration per share, but it Ls rumoured
that this offer expires February 27.
(Continued From Page 1)
rough.   The  class "wacky  hacky"
is Jim Dennison—also class nominee  for the Purity League Presidency-.
Big-time operator Al Eyre is the
most publicized member of the
class as he is the most active in
student activities. Art Fraser ia
champion tippler and foolish-ques-
tion-asker—a woman hater. Harold Graves is class president and
all-round good egg; also class nominee for position of most likely to
succeed. Wilf Grimble is a B.A.;
be leads the class in matrimonial
endeavours. ,
John Hicks and Fred Hole are
the outstanding rugby and soccer
stars of the class; also hard workers. Joe Kent is front-row man-
has not missed a professor's word
in- five year. Alan Kerr is the
.class dapper boy—red headed and
even tempered. Stu Lefeaux is a
genial globe-trotting trumpet player who really seems to get places;
he rivals Fraser for tippling honors. Bruce Scott is champion
bridge player, coffee drinker and
after-breakfast speaker. Gordon
Stamford occupies a quiet corner
$nd disapproves of Petty, cartoons
adorning the class walls. Frank
Turley i.s the hard-working mys-
t ry boy;, brought up on Nanaimo
malt. Sidney Wigen is champion
chess player; a quiet music lover
of  intellectual  fibre.
Such a motley crew gathered
together for so many hours a
week for so long—how they will
h.'de to leave the Alma Mater; sad,
but time rolls on.
Brock  Hall
ALma   1624
■Member British United Press, Uanadiim University   Press
I: sued  every  Tuesday,  Tluir--day   and  Saturday   by   the  Publications
Heard  ef  the   Alma  Mali r   Society   ,,f  tie   University   ai   Untidi  Columbia.
('.moral Stall
Nov,.    Editor Marian   Ball
CUP   1-Mit. •!• linn   Haggart
Plmlnctapliv   Dnector Art .Pines
l'i ii,  Seci ,-tary II- I ty  Anderson
','   i;   C ,i'.„,ni   ' V,::.v  Walker
Spin Is Edilor
l.'ll."   Mad'
Associate   Spells   Editor
Lam,a   IK,.|
Spoils     licporlcrs   —■   S b <• 1 ,i g 11
W'eel,   r,      l-'l ed     Cl"   Obi.  ,      t'.V      All-
pa ',,...   I-:- d   Man, v,
Spoils     Photographers:      prod
(ii ovei .  Ii: em Jackson.
Associate Editors
Ruy     Melton,     HalT>      Pills.     P. 11   '
IlalT     ,1a'   o    I'll',','.  II
Assistant  Editors
Hub   Ll.-ter,    Prasar   M   I.Call,    lall
Hon:      Pail   Peter-aii
Copy hoy
'Denis   Blunden
For Advertising:  Standard  Publishing Co. Ltd., 2182 West  'list  Ave,,
KEi risdale 1811. THE SCIENCE UBYSSEY. February 6, 1945 — Page Three
Science Make Success
Certain for 'Gondoliers
• "WE ARE, WE are, we are The Gondoliers," will be the
theme as eight husky Engineers take to the stage on
Wednesday, February 14. On stage, backstage, and in the
pit Sciencemen are again making possible a successful Musical Society production.
Bob McLellan's resounding baritone and the lusty voices of Bob
Hill, Bob McKay, and Roy Tinney
will ring out. With such veterans
as Al Day, Ronny White, and Len
Cox to depend on, the men's chorus will be right in there pitching.
A new addition to the chorus,
George Ward, can warble with the
best of them.
Remember the Thursday night
the curtain went up and a certain professor was seen scampering
off the suige? Remember how the
Pirate King and his jolly band of
cut-throats one after another
jumped into position and grabbed
a mug of grog?
Well, nothing like that will happen this year. Under the direction of Frank Haney and his crew
of Electrical and Mechanical Engineers the curtain will rise at
just the right moment, at just the
right time, and at just the right
speed (afer taking into account?
air resistance, friction in the pulleys, and expansion in the rope.
That Haney boy thinks of everything).
With four electrical engineers
f on the* job the lighting will be perfection itself. Lights will be of
every hue from red to violet and
will shoot out from as many angles as Bragg would have to turn
his crystal through to compete
with the powder spectograph.
Hardly working up a sweat,
Nets Glover will whirl up and
down scales and arpeggio- in A
flat, G sharp, B melodic minor,
and other equally horrible keys
while another engineering fiddler,
Wilf Evans, grinds out the old urn
pah pah, urn pah pah that makes
every opera a success. The addition of Kurt York's flute and
Don Lloyd's trombone gives every
section of the orchestra its Science support.
Sadly missed this year will be
the golden clarinet of Arvid Rek-
ston, Science '46. which has faithfully given its support for several
years- -now silent because of the
death of  its  owner.
She: You remind me of the
Artsman: lie-cause I'm wild, daring,  and  romantic'.'
She: No. Because you make me
I   don
, r
m   aw
Joe: Why does a farmer look for
a needle  in a  haystack.
Gish: Because that's, where his
daughter usually does her fancy-
♦   «   ♦   •
Guest (to host in new house) —
Hello, old p<il! How do you find
it here?
Host--Right upstairs, second door
on the left, and I'm not responsible
for any  wet  paint.
%     »     m     .■
floppy  is the  oyst r!
He  stays  in  bed  for  good
And  if he  ever docs  come out
Me  generally  gets .stewed.
• stop - in
by Dirty Dan
• HAVE your picture  taken  at
Fang's Foto Forum.  After they
have messed around with. your
profile, you just wouldn't believe
it could be you. Because of the
recent fire, they are offering rock-
bottom prices on stylish, slightly-
charred negatives. Don't miss
this bargain .... During the car
strike, it was our fortune to meet
a Viji soph who had set himself
up as Vice Chairman oh the campus. His opinion was that transportation could be handled and
university students made happy
by supplying more Biblical donkeys .... One of the customers
to Fang's wrote back an encouraging letter recently. He said he had
taken the Fang portrait home to
his mother. She had said, and we
quote; "My Gawd?!!!"
* «   »   •
• WANT to  do away  with  the
local yokel who is horning in
on your moll? Contact Joe at the
Local No. 179 and get in on his
patented extermination — Ice- O -
Tone and Death Ray Blasts, used
with permission of Mandrake.
Joe's prices will suit the pocket
book of the average Scienceman
too .... And then comes the prospect of the Great Trek. El Stuffo
will flow freely—slipsticks will
only be used for beating women
over the head—the committee of
the Technical Aspects of Intimate
Loving Council will present a new
arrangement of "No More Swing"
by J. Strap and his Elastic Band.
.... Joe's boys are all in the fight
on the home-front too. Since 1939,
they have delivered all surplus
blood that flowed into the ditch to
the Red Crass.   That is patriotism!
* ♦    •    •
• DO  YOUR friends complain  of
the   blinding   glare   from   your
bald dome? Try a toupee from
Will;.';; Wigs for Women and For
Those Oilier Character.', Without
iiurnpy Sweaters. You may like
"iir Artsman Muriel -a powder
puff garnished with Uuce bristly
goat hairs. Or maybe you prefer
the Scienceman type—blonde, brunette and auburn, laid side by
side .... The very latest dirt concerns two well-known Sigma Foo
bachelors who went down to give
their blood last week. Unfortunately, they were turned down.
However, authorities there asked
them to donate their carcasses to
medical science for experimentation—never had they seen bodies
so well preserved in alcohol ....
Willy's Wigs also feature peach-
fuzz lined patches for those people
with holes in their heads. Guaranteed results for all head treatments or your choice of any of
the five dollar burials free of
Beneath this sod  a Miner lies,
They brought him here today.
lie led the life of Riley
When Riley was away.
* *    *    *
May  I   kiss  you?
I should  say not.
a,1,1   .,:«.!< aa-.    I,,   IV:         c, . ia- :.
•     PiTHPCAN I'HKi iPPS   PP.i'-'.IIIPTPS   iu-ic   i- u.s   '-yas  acmnt'idly
,,w ,y fi'.ni tbe lump i.l' a'--!, vhi.li be ci"aled. and la >a toward his
beautiful g"dd'-.ss .taiidini' ,a ■ 'vne la-a'alv ae her pedestal II" i. happy
because he h,', :.iw I la i mvi-'.ule beauty fi n lb 'u.tfiill, nan appreciating glims ot  ihe s.uli.lic   Ait,men
have stolen the colors of Spring!
N Vv
The fresh new colors of Spring reflected
in these casual suits of soft herringbone
wool. Jackets with or without collars
—skirts with kick pleat back and front.
Zipper side fastener.    Sizes 12 to 20.
15.95 and 22.50
"Deb" Sweaters
'Ihe lovely "Helen Harper Dobs" in pullover and
jerkin types — ready for Spring in delightful
shades of lime, fuchsia, yellow, blue and pink.
Sizes 1-1 to 20. 1   Q5
laO only i.^-/
Pastel Blouses
Femininity plus in dressy little blouses of pastel
silk crepes, softly fashioned with drawstring
neck and sleeves. Pink, turquoise, blue, yellow
aud white. 2  95
Si/es 12 to 20 *"     "*
Polka Dot Blouses
Dainty dots on white-in green, blue >«■ red,
drawstring neckline, three-quarter length sleeves
—■everything to make these blouses a popular
choice for spring. A  Q*J
Sizes 12 to 20 ^.^-/
Sportiucriir—Spnicrr's, l\tshi»n Floor
S *(-"»>.
[ \ THE SCIENCE UBYSSEY, February fi. 1945 — Page Four
LUKE MOYLS, Sports Editor
e gospe
according to LUKE MOYLS
• IT HAPPENS about this time every year. Life is just
beginning to settle comfortably into a well-worn rut, and
things are running rather smoothly, when all of a sudden,
along come'those red-shirted engineers.
Not that I,have anything against engineers. Sciencemen
have plenty on the ball. In fact, some of them even take
time out to enjoy the finer things in life . . . sports, I mean.
Sciencemen have no time to themselves, what with long
hours every day of the week . . . and long hours every night
of the week. But, in spite of this, the Redshirts rule with a
firm hand in athletics on this campus.
To Name But A Few ...
Take, for instance, those two Redshirt hoopers, Sandy
Robertson and Art Stilwell, who star with the UBC Thunderbirds. Robertson barely finds time to practise with his teammates, but still paces the team with his accurate sharp-
Stilwell is^known as a "brain" among his fellow engineers, but he's not the long-haired type that hibernates in
the library. Another sharp-shooter that's hard to stop when
he's hot, Art is a steady ball-handler—a valuable asset to
any hoop club.
But there are rugger stars among the Redshirts, too. Len
Mitten, Harry Kabush, Al Jones, Gerry Lockhart and Jim
Hughes are among Varsity's leading punters.
It Ain't Hoop Or Grid
But there are plenty more of them. Those Redshirts
permeate every sport on the campus. In fact, they seem to
permeate every sport, period.
The one night of the year that they really go to town,
however, is the night of the Science Ball. You might even
call the Science Ball a sport, but that would be stretching
the point.
On this occasion, the engineers congregate at the Commodore to do battle on the maple courts. However, this sport
i.s much different from basketball, for, as the women know,
substitution is unlimited.
One might also compare it to Canadian Football, for I
have seen many brilliant broken field runs at these Science
Balls. But when you get down to it, thc Science Ball Ls a
sport by itself, so maybe we better leave it like that.
Defeat Varsity, 9-6
• UBC's ice hockey team lost
their first gunie of the year by
a score of 9-6 when they played
the senior Combines Sunday night.
The Combines, who represent
players from'the three commercial
teams, proved too much for the
Varsity  sextet.
Varsity did not show any results until the third frame, although they missed a countless
number of chances right on top
of the goal. Not ujitil the count
was 4-0 did Varsity ring the bell
to open the scoring session that
It was Hill Buller and Ernie
Cooper who assisted Rowledge
for the first counter and did
the sumo for Wiggins on the
goal that followed shortly. The
Fraternity and Sorority
Printing and Engraving''
Our Specialty
r>(if>  Seymour  St.
campus skaters kept pace with
the Combines, goal for goal.
But towards the end of the
match, the seniors netted the
puck three times to win out,
Jack Varcoe had put the team
through a light one-hour practice
before the game so that he could
work out some fancy tactics in
order to conpen.sate for the Combines' superior stick handling.
Dick Hadlon assisted Ken Devlin
and Ted Taylor for two goals a-
Reg Clarkson and Jue Moyls,
having been warmed up by the
hour long practice, showed up well
m goal, considering the calibre of
the pueksters with which they
were  confronted.
Manager Chuck MeClellan is
arranging a game with either B.
('■ Electric or Kirks for next Sunday evening.
Professor: I won't start this lecture  until  the  room  settles down,
Voice from class: Better go
home and  sleep  it  off.
*    >*    *    *
Webster say.s that "taut" means
"tight." I guess I've been taut
quite a bit in this university after  all.
Mrs.: I) a.in. to 5 p.m.; Saturdays i) a.m. to noon
(Iraplui-   Engineering   Paper,   Biology    Paper
Loose   Leal'   Refills,   Fountain   Pens   and   Ink
.ii.d  Drawing  Instruments
Time Runs Out
On UBC Squad;
Lose Tilt 37-38
*1     Rt ~TH&        Ji
JScieNCe   BALL  ^
• FAVORITE SCIENCE SPORT—Voted most popular sport for those athletically-inclined
red-shirted engineers, Science Balls are fast becoming the major sport on the campus.
Unlike the other games such as Base Ball, Basket Ball and Volley Ball, the Science 'Ball
was invented by a red-shirted genius name of Ichabod Q. Sliderule who was inspired *by
the liquid refreshment occasionally served at half time in ordinary sports. According to
the inventor, the Science Ball has the advantage of an unlimited half time.
• TONIGHT IS thc night for aU
hoopla fans to get out to King
Ed gym to help out the UBC Chiefs
In their first game of the Inter A
finals against Higbies*. Tiie Chiefs
have a good chance of taking the
contest, but vocal support will help
a great deal.
Wednesday night, the regular
league, games will be going on
When the 'Birds meet Higbies In
thc opener and Lauries meet the
Chiefs again for the second game
in a week against the Piemen.
Again on Thursday night, the
Chiefs meet Higbies in the second
Ramc of the finals for thc Inter A
championship. Casaba fans are in
for a great week of ball so there
should be lots of support for thc
Blue and Gold's clubs.
Varsity Soccer XI
Loses To Sailors;
UBC Beaten, Too
By lill ZAHAIt
• UNDER    intermittent    drizzles
by Ju|H'   Pluviu.s and  bis acjua
clouds, 200 soccer fans down at
Cambie Street Grounds watched
Navy prove themselves better
mudders by coming out on top of
a close 3-1 score over Varsity's
Tiie lighter Varfiity team was
not able to last as long in tho
sluggish mud as the heavier Navy soccer eleven.
During the first 15 minutes of
play a foul was awarded Varsity
when a Navy back made an illegal charge on Varsity's Earl
Woods as he moved into scoring
position. Don Petrie converted
(he penalty kick to put Varsity
one up.
During the latter part of the
firs! half thc Varsity backs hud
trouble clearing thc ball from
their goal area as they were on
the muddy side of the field and
were wallowing in four inches
of good brown mud.
This  proved   the   deciding factor
in    the    game   and    Navy   scored
twice   before   half  time.
Varsity put on the pressure in
the second half but after many
close attempts, they could not get
the ball over their opponents' goal
line. Navy's left half scored on
a long shot that missed the attention of one of Varsity's ace goalies,
Herb Smith, to end the scoring at
The   UBC   eleven   ran   into
tough  op|M)si(ion   on   Saturday
on  meeting the rough  ( oquil-
lam Farmers from the country
and   lost   :i-I,    The   Blue   and
fiold scored the first by Chuck
Doweling on an assist by goalie
Bob Wilson.
The  visitors had a  penalty shot
but   couldn't    put   it   past   Wilson
in   the   goal   and   the   half   ended
witli UBC leading 1-0.   In the sec-
aiid half the Coquitlam team came
on   with  a   vengeance  and  rough-
housed their way to three goals to
win 3-1.
* *    *    *
No doubt the saying "Conn
across" was originated shortly after the  invention of twin bids.
* *    *    *
And then there- Was the Et-gin-
i-er who entered the Georgia optimistically and left misty optically.
• JIM HUGHES played the hero
role    Saturday    as    Varsity's
rugged rugby experts edged out
their UBC brothers, 7-3, at Brockton Oval. In the McKenchnie Cup
match that followed, Vancouver
Reps turned back the Crimson
Tide of Victoria 12-8 to eliminate
the Islanders in the Cup series.
With barely two minutes to go
in the first game and the score
tied at 3-3. Jim Hughes took the
ball on a pass from scrum half
Johnny Wheeler on UBC's 25
yard line and kicked a perfect
field goal to give the favorites
the  decision.
Playing on a very muddy
pitch, the three-lines on both
sides were greatly hampered,
although Varsity's threes did
much of their ground-gaining.
Varsity scored first when Bob
Lawson fell on the ball after he
and hLs fellow forwards dribbled
thc ball over from the 10.
Soon aft.T commencement of the
second half, UBC started to threaten Varsity's slim three-point lead.
With Keith MacDonald and Harry
Kabush doing must of the Work,
the sci urn managed to get the ball
out often enough for M..ury Moyls
and Don Ralston to run the bill
deep into Varsity's  half.
MacDonald plunged over from
close range after taking a pass
from Moyls to lie the score midway through the half.
After this score, play went
from one end of the field to
the other with the winners
having a  great  margin in the
Detroit Surges On;
Top Bruins Twice
• MONTKKAL   Canadiens   stretched    their    lead     to    eleven
points over the weekend by downing Detroit Red Wings 5-2 and 3-1.
The fourth-place Boston Bruins
have a firm hold on their position
after beating Toronto 4-2 on Saturday night and tying flange rs
3-3 on Sunday. Meanwhile Chicago Black Hawks suffered a defeat at the hands of the Maple
Leafs, losing to the Toronto crew
Teeter Kennedy, young Toronto
wingman, stole the spotlight from
the usual high scorers, pounding
home four of the Leafs six goals
and assisting on another.
With Canadiens, Detroit, and Toronto assured of playoff spots, only one berth is left to the three
remaining t aitis. As the league
enters the final quarter of the current schedule, hockey fans will
see some hotly-contested battles
between the Boston. Chicago, and
New   York   teams.
Badminton Playoff
Slated Wednesday
• FINALS   of   the    intra-nutrals
badminton  tournament  will be
played oil' tomorrow night when
the student shuttle-swatters gather
for the second evening of play.
The results so far leave the Mu
Phi boys in a position to take tho
honors in both singles and doubles.
Engineers. Delia Upsilons. and
Kappa Sigma's lead the others in
the   fight.
territorial play. Varsity came
near to'scoring on many occasions but UBC's defence held
up under thc sustained pressure.
In desperation, Hughes took a
long pass and, deftly moving into
position, won the game with his
well-kicked field goal.
Due to the heartbreaking loss
of Victoria to Vancouver Reps, the
Crimson Tide is out of the running
for the McKechnie Cup for the
first time in seven years. During
this lengthy period, they have
warded off all attempts on the
part of Varsity and Vancouver to
cop the prize trophy.
Engineer Picks Up
Art Of Bowling
In One Lesson
• THE OTHER night a friend i'.'i
of niipe induced me to go
bowling. He assured me it was a
."red s|>art.- healthful, invigorating, etc. ife even said the pure air
would help clear the pool hall
smoke from my lungs. Oh, what
a fool I was!   I believed him.
So after putting on my nice new
Jute sack z.oot slack I went to the
Commodore Recreations. What a
misleading title! I thought it was
a liquor store from the milling,
nasty   tempered   crowd.
One fellow even o'ffered me $3.-
50 for a bottle of hair tonic I happened to be carrying. Of course
I wouldn't sell. I held out for
We pushed  and  shoved  and
stepped   on   people's   toed.    My
elbow   got   sore   from   digging
people   in   the   ribs.    One   big
fellow,   at   least   6'2"   tall   and
weighing L'05.!G33 pounds (slide
rule    computation),     tried    to
push   ahead   of   me.    I   taught
that  lug a thing or two.   The
nurse says I can take my bandages off next week.
At   last   we  got  to  the alley.    But
somewhere   we   had   made  a  miss-
take.    This   was   the   back   alley!
We were out with the trash  (Arts-
men    note'.     We    finally    did    get
back into the Commodore.
My   friend,   Jim,   started   to   explain the game to me.   The object
■ is to knock  down a group of pins
with a little ball.   The trouble was
that  a   little hoy  kept  [Hitting  thi,'
ihancd   things   back   up   again.    I
couldn't  got ahead of the guy.
Jim told me it was simple to
iliiou    the   ball.    All   you   did
was hold your hall in one hand,
take    three    steps—left,    right,
left—(hen   let   go   of   thc   ball.
Swell!   I started.
The   first   thing  I   did   was   drop
the  hall.    Oh,  well,  I  had six  toes
aii\ how!     I    threw   the    first    ball
and Jim yelled "Strike." I promptly   kicked   the   fellow   liowling   on
the next  alley.
Jim explained latei that I
shouldn't have done that. Later
on in the game Jim asked me if
I had got a spare. I replied, "No.
What with the rublier shortage and
- - - Oh! You mean my scon .
No.   I got a strike."
At the end of the game, Jim
started to gnash his teeth for
some reason or other. He refused
t■> speak to me. Tell me. is 450 a
good   score   for  five  pins'1
• UBC LOST a hoop thriller the
hard way Saturday night when
they ended up on the short end of
a 38-37 count In a Senior A contest against Lauries Pirates. The
Chiefs now find themselves firmly
entrenched in third place in th»
senior division.
It was not the fault of the Chiefs
that they lost—they merely didn't
have  enough  time  to  outlast  the
fast-fading Laurie crew.   Play was
very even throughout the first half
with   the   Pie-Rates, managing   to
take a 7-6 count in each quarter.
,   However, In thc third canto
the Chiefs seemed to run out
of   shooting   power.    At   one
point, Lauries held a 23-14 lead
over the Students who managed to come hack slow but sure
to end the third canto 29-24.
In the last quarter however, the
Chiefs came to life in earnest to
outscore the Pie-Rates 13-9.   They
were just a little too late in their
efforts however,  as time ran out
* before  tfiey  had  completed  their
With seconds to go, Bruce Yorke
was fouled and given two free
shots. After missing the first, he
decided there must be still enough
time, and so in preference "to taking the ball off the side, swished
his second shot. That was ii\e last
chance the Chiefs had.
Big Herb Capozzi played another great game in the pivot
spot for thc Blue and Gold,
scoring IC points. Bruce Yorke
followed with nine. Playing
one of his  best games of the
• season was Lome Swanson. His
beautiful one-handed push shot
,    from way out started the scoring for the Chiefs.
LAURIES -  Anderson   13,  McDonald 2, Scarr 3. Lawn 18, Freeman,   Swift,   Morlock,   Samson   2.
Total 38.
UBC CHIEFS - Yorke 9, Swanson 5, Stevenson, Bossons 4, Capozzi 16, Fenn, McDowell t, Blake
1. Total 37.
Ex-Kitsies Defeat
Grass Hockey Gals
• VARSITY'S     Senior     Grass
hockey     squad     dropped     into
second place in league standing
Saliiiday when they lost a close
L'-O tilt to a strong Ex-Kits aggregation. Although greatly liampcr-
ed by a muddy pitch and pouring
rain, Varsity girls put forth a good
game of hockey to seriously threaten thc now first place Kitsies.
Both goals were scored in tiie
first half when Faye Burnham
capitalized on mud-bound defense
players to score for the winners.
During the second half, Varsity
forwards threatened the Kitsies'
goal many times, but lacked the
neocessary' final push to score.
"Aren't these chimes beautiful,
such harmony, so enchanting."
"You'll have to speak louder.
Those damned bells are making
such a  racket I can't hear you."
For your
":   \lc:>r:ry  Supplies
^'-".T.lain Potts
S'idV Rules
Scales, etc.,
rer Ihe present form
Clarke & Stuart
.■).>() Seymour St.
Vancouver, B.C.
Phone PAcific 7311


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