UBC Publications

UBC Publications

UBC Publications

The Ubyssey Mar 21, 1951

Item Metadata

Download

Media
ubysseynews-1.0123669.pdf
Metadata
JSON: ubysseynews-1.0123669.json
JSON-LD: ubysseynews-1.0123669-ld.json
RDF/XML (Pretty): ubysseynews-1.0123669-rdf.xml
RDF/JSON: ubysseynews-1.0123669-rdf.json
Turtle: ubysseynews-1.0123669-turtle.txt
N-Triples: ubysseynews-1.0123669-rdf-ntriples.txt
Original Record: ubysseynews-1.0123669-source.json
Full Text
ubysseynews-1.0123669-fulltext.txt
Citation
ubysseynews-1.0123669.ris

Full Text

 GIRL
In Hair-Raiser
^'s-^s-.?^ 'f* ■**''^n-a"-M,«^?,»;
UBC's girl's sofa rugby team
defeated California 12 to 6 to
win the World Cup and Saucer •
last night.
Led* by Hotkiss Hlggins,
"UBC scored twice ln the first
quarter only to be called back
lor illegal motion on both occasions. Undaunted, our team
forged ahead and early ln the
second quarter Neckfhg Nelly
threw a pass for UBC's first
major.
California came back strongly and scored Just before the
gun'went off to end the first
half. This score ceme when
.UBC's captain, Laura Lips,
was penalized for having her
backfield Jn motion.
The second half was a real
halr-ralslng affair with both
teams striving to get into
scoring posltlpn. Just before
the end of the game UBC took
advantage of a penalty to California for Illegal Pse of hands
and Hotkiss Hlggins went
across for the winning try.
Kickapoo Sleuths
Solve Box Baffler
Mystery  Broken After Police,
Engineers, CIB,  Left Clueless
One oi the most baffling problems ever to confront University officials was solved today by -the Kickapoo Club.
A large wooden box was found in Brock Lounge Tuesday
afternoon by the Janitors as they swept under the sleeping
Brock hermits.
Speculation over the box ran from the possibility of sabotage to the discovery of the Stone of Scone.
Brightly-coloured   grotesque   tig-$
ures adorned the mystery box and
the code letters KT T J M F O 0
GBY WIN
OFFICIALS of the Kickapoo Club and bosom
friends are these ,three executive-lookirfg
types. They are making plans for today's pep
meet in the Armouries. It is rumoured that
as a result of unbecoming conduct a| a recent
LSE meeting (they asked LSE for a small
sum), the two members on the right were
given the "Gate." They promptly adopted it
and installed it as an advisory vice-president.
were found in one corner. Top
R C M P and C I B sleuths were
called in but could offer no an-
•wers. Bomb disposal experts were
confronted but there was no ticking gonad so they left Without
giving any clues. Engineers slid
their slide rules, Aggie Students
arrived   with   fire   hoses,   Home
SPRING PAINT
Brand New
Suit For
UBC Stadium
Plain old UBC stadium will
have a brand new spring suit
for the first game on the northern end of the Cup Series.
The Kickapoos, campus pep club,
have billed Thursdays rugger game
"The Totem Bowl" and to go with
the new name, Kickapoos have
donaed a new trophy to be pro-
sented annually to the team winning the first game at UBC. Forty*
three salmon tails and a whale's
appendix was the barter priee for
a genuine hand-earved Indian
Totem  pole  trophy.
The actual Totem pole was carved by Mrs. N'eel Kakasalas of Vancouver. Its story Is as follows:
The pole has no ancient legend
attached to It as it is an idea or
concept of the native people before
the white man came to B.C. In the
oorthwest coast Ideology, here was
a coneept that the Great Spirit
took the guise of Thunderbird
when he appeared to humans.
In almost every village among the
Kwaklutl* there is a legend of the
Thunderbird having appeared and
taken some important beneflcient
part  in   each  early   family   begin-
(Continued on Page 3)
See 'STADIUM"
economists came with potatoe
mashers. Their efforts were In
vain. Finally Kickapoo officials
came up with their answer to the
question,
Their special delivery had arrived from Indian country. The
code letters were Interpreted by
Top Kick as "Kickapoo Trophy to
John MacKinnon for Outstanding
Graft."
Description of the trophy Itself
was withheld. However It ls understood the presentation will be made
at today's pep meet at 12:30 ln
the Armories.
Kickapoobyssey
VANCOUVER, RC7 WEDNESDAxllARfcH 21,1951 *
Kickapoos Stage
Pep Meet Today
ELEANOR TO SING
Dusky Chanteuse
At Pep Meet
Eleanor, featured songstress at
the Kickapoo Pepmeet, ls the star
of CBC Friday evening listening.
The dusky chanteuse can be
heard with the Ray Norris Quintet every Friday night at 9:30 over
radio station CBR.
One of her biggest hits was her
appearance during the summer on
the prestige show Startime,
On Wednesday, co-sstarred with
Slim Allen, she will sing everything from boogie beat to spirituals <of her own  race.
Eleanor began her career In Edmonton when she was only 16
years old.
On arrival ln Vancouver she became   a  member  of 'a  Trio,   the
three E's, which sang on the Ray
Norris program. Latei^she became^
Ray Norris' featured  vocalist.
Eleanor Is now a young Vancouver housewife who loves to sing
when she can manage it between
diaper changing sessions with her
children.
ELEANOR
Talent Show To Publicize
Rugby Game With U Of Cal
Tops in entertainment will once more be offered to students
by the campus pep club.     ,   <*-
Today at 1£:30, the Armouries will
be the scene of another mammoth
pep meet under the auspices of the
Kickapoo Club. The theme will
centre around the World Cup
games with California Bears Thursday and Saturday at the Stadium.
Ian will, in all probability, round
out the programme.
Kickapoo officials have expressed the hope that a good crowd
will fill the Armouries for the show.
They feel the students should become acquainted with the rugger
team and give more time and interest to games than they have In
the Past: "Besides," cried an executive   -where else can they wlt-
DON'T choke, wheeze, gasp and
cough your way throiifeh I'uiversity. find U all now. Extracto Exterminating Enterprises will do
the job, No muss, no fuss, no gore.
The water treatment a specialty.
LAITHWAITE TO  GIVE
LOWDOWN
Coach    Albert    Laithwaite    will!
give the lowdown on the pendl„B jnese such a_fine_show for_the_prlc«
rugger games and ln all probability, will introduce his boys to the
audience.
Big names on the program are
Songstress Eleanor and gag man
Slim Allen. Both entertainers have
had extensive experience In show-
business. Slim Allen is high on the
night club circuit and has given
command performances before royalty. He also played In "Eileen"
with the Theatre Under the Stars.
Eleanor stars every week on CBC
and slugs with the Ray Norris
Quintet.
LOCAL   TALENT   FEATURED
Local talent will also be featured. Milla Andrews, well known
soloist, will give several renditions
with possible support of the Glee
Club.
A combo band under Al Macinll-
of a cup af Caf Barnwater.?'
Read Mghballer's
Version Of Big Came
Hunting In Totemland
On Paga 3
TIMELY, intimate advice for
your marriage problems given la
strictest confidence. Every angle
frankly discussed. Cheap. Apply
Omar MacKinnon, The Treasure
Chest, AMS.
PUDGY? Wear a new Bulge-
Beater! No springs, no lace*, no
bones, no kidding. Fonee Foundations Co,, Peoria, 111.
KICKAP
S PEPFEST T
•   I
AY w
^^^
NM.
THE KICKAPOOBYSSEY
Wednesday, March 41, 1951
. ysFSffi*"
*m#kmAm
mtfmimmimmm
i; i
ey
Member in arrears Subversive News Slurvtae. Unauthorized Third class trash. Dogteam
delivery, Ottawa, Published through the wiU of those that ought to be shot. .
Opinions expressed are those of no sane persons and hot necessarily to be taken.seHousfy
without due consideration.
 -.,.„.„..:..... km fttetMiteb
 Anyone We could rotter tor ten lhlhutes...
* "ft*   i
BM fkjtfiJk^^^^tf^M^        W__ a |^|^^|ijL        Hkl Mi__ ____§m._____m
usiness duppori iNeeaea
Students have heard over llie pist Mto
years how downtown business men ind the
pedple of Vancouver generally ir% Hoi supporting the University by
button fhroligh bursaries
or ksy attendance it University
Blame has 'been placed upon thWe bUsl-
ness wien although We believe that Hiost of
these business men do wot real!** that each
student of UfeC purchases foods |& th* tune
of approximately )MM a yWi- from every
business Hi town. Hie quwttoh ll raised,
"Why i-m they know ahout this?" !f th-y
dM realle the amouht of -business they derive
frton the students, we feel sure thit there
would lire more support forthcoming.    •
How can they be informed that our concerts, plays, athletics, special events, etc.
are of the best calibre in the city? Most students take a passive attitude and feel there
is nothing they can do about it. We feel differently. We believe that a great percentage of
he downtown business men are parents or
relatives of the student of this university.
Why then could students not use this channel
for securing support for oUr university? An
example will reveal what could be done if
students worked together towards the same
objective. ^
Monday and Juesday of last week were
set aside for student performances of "The
Male Animal"—lhe UBC Players Club Annual Spring Production. Both these performances had one thousand students in attendance. There were Very few students who did
not think it was a great student production.
Public performances -were Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday night. Friday and
Saturday nights ware well-attended but Wednesday and Thursday night, the auditorium
yas less than half full. Of the 2000 students
who attended the student performance, how
many went home and told their parents about
the play? How many invited their parents to
ale it? Pttbahly v«ty ft*, ^ose studehts
who did hot tell their parents iWut thi play
and\^od'rdttdtlt\Vit*th'emtocoinfeout
to see it, neipea to prevent a
enc» of ifour thousand
Students ii -educate the dttVmtoNvh
busihess men into cofti^nt but ahd seeing out
university. This could hot be done overnight.
ttoNvever, to our knowledge there li no such
prbftani ln existence today, hor has there
ever been one. fc begin with, UBC is in a
very poot position ih that It Is outside thi
city of Vancouver. We must overcome this
disadvantage. We must first start with our
otfh parents and relatives and gradually their
influence Will show effects upon their friends.
This fcould be -called an invisible campaign.
At the same time students must carry on
a visible campaign—sending campus speakers to clubs and organizations such
as Kiwanis, Rotary, Lions, and Vancouver
Board of Trade. These speakers could give a
series of informative lectures over a period
of a year or two. This, we feel, could be very
effective.
Also, we favour more demonstrations.
These must be constructive—hot destructive.
Demonstrations in the past, as a whole have
not actually been destructive but only made
to look that way by poor, uncalled—for pubUcity. If these demonstrations were carried on
more often, It would not be long before the
people of Vancouver would recognize that
these demonstrations are part of a campus
spirit and are in effect harmless. We feel it is
unnecessary to approach City Council for permission for such demonstrations as they have
always refused in the past and there is no
reason to expect that.they will change their
stand now. Almost every other University in
Canada has carried on demonstrations in their
downtown areas except UBC, and it is about
time the students did show the people of
Vancouver that there is a university here.
John, a handsome young engineer, was planning to marry
Marsha within two weeks of his graduation. -
When graduation came around John could see ho reason
tor waiting two weeks to enjoy the blessings of married life.
Marsha on the other hand, disagreed strongly and told John
that if be would wait tha two weeks she would give him the
Sleeve Treatment the first night of their wedding. John begged
ber to till him what the Sleeve Treatment was but she rfefused.
When John reached Borne that <*►-
nlght he called his lather aside
For Commercemen Only
AMS Elections this year were poorly supported by the students and long and loud
was the hollering about it.
However, we are changing tone a bit and
directing a little applause towards the Commerce faculty. Their recent elections draw a
much greater percentage of voters than either
AMS or EUS. More applause. We have found
another source of student spirit.
We would like to make a few suggestions
to the new executive. Fan this fire and pour
on more coal. Organize a Commerce cheering
section at athletic functions. Cheerleaders can
lead you in your own yells and cheers. Give
good support to your intramural entries. Try
a few pep meets for your dances.
This is a big job but Commerce has the
strength and ability to succeed. Meet the challenge optimistically. Good Luck.
Thanks From The Poos
We've bungled, we've messed the works
we've been cursed, and we cursed ourselves.
But we tried. We've come to the conclusion
that we're just not journalists. However, for
all our mistakes, we hope our efforts have
not been in Vain.
All us poor, pooed-out, kicked around
Kickapoos are reaching the time of year
when we can lie down in our cobwebbed
cubicles to contend with the bliss of April.
But before we sign our valedictory we
feel obliged to extend a few thanks to all who
made an impossible editien possible. No small
amount of the merci's go to the members of
the Publications Board for their assistance
with copy, makeup and general advice.
To Mamooks for their posters, to typists
for their untiring works, and to all the poor
souls   who   were   constantly   harried   and
bothered by Kickapoo B.C. editors.
AMEN
and asked "What* Vs the IMeVe
Treatment." rtls father threater^d
rnurder but John escaped ahd within five minutes Aft Ms Wlohglh'gs
had bean burht ahd Mb was cut
out ot his tether's will.
*r 9f} q*l
John's curiosity was asttV la he
headed to an East-Hasting Street
Address to tlmi the ahSWer to
"What is the Sleeve Treatment?"
He pounded it the door. Wnen the
madame answered, he asked ber it
any ef her gltts would five him thi
Sleeve Treatment? The madam
read the ftlot Act and is John
fled down the street, he knew that
he must sWve this problem or face
continual Frustration.
Further attempts brought the
same results and John finally vowed that he would wjiit the two
Weeks, till he and Marsha were
than and wife, before Inquiring
about the Sleeve Treatment again.
*r 9p 9p
As the days went by John's curiosity grew greater and greater. The
passion tfhrnlng ln his mind nearly
exploded. At last they were married.
When they arrived at Honeymoon Hotel, John was shaklhg
With emotion, his eyes were burning with lust. At last the happy
day had come.
"Marsha," he croaked "i'm ready
for the Sleeve Treatment." "No
you're not," was her reply, "gd tb
thfe washroom and cover yourself
from head to tbe with Vaseline."
John hurried to the washroom
and a few minutes later he emerged
saying "Marsha?" to which she
replied "Have you gat It behind
your ears ahd under yours arins?"
"No" he moaned as he fled back
to the washroom to finish the job.
Returning, lie gave her a look that
made a totem pole do a striptease
and gasped "Marsha?" Marsha's
voice was low and husky as she
asked "Have you got lt on the
soles of your feet?" "No," he wept,
as his body shook with emotion.
When he returned again he asked
"Marsha?" to which she replied
"John?"
*r *p 9p
At last the happy day had come,
In a moment he would know the
answer to "What is the Sleeve
Treatment?" Slowly he edged his
way towards the bed. Three steps
to the bed> two steps, one step.
Suddenly he slipped and fell,
smashing his head against the bed
post. John died that night and
never did find the answer to "What
Is the Sleeve Treatment?"
SUFFER from getting up nights?
Get a vat of Piddlcwash's anti-
rust "Stop Leak" today!
BOOK REVIEW
Freneh Weneh
...\m ToV tovVi sake-Author
. . . tove ft* (Jod'e stlre-4-CM
. .. disapporhtlhg-curlous
Ten Lessens I* Tax ^vision
... feveailn*—Fihfcrtce Ml*. Abbot
. . . old stuff—Hottest John Mac
.   Klnnon
. . . Encouraging—H. B. Maunsell
Hew to ba a ■•rtsnBsr
. . . rather drink the stuff—Fla»k
. . . rather serve the stuff—Barney
Andrews
Jithtub ■iuebaards
... light entertainment—Nonie
. . . preferable to Kedshlrts — Women's bormi.
. . . shows fussy thinking—Gillette
Hew Sleeps the least
. . . well!—Honest John again
... no hell—Sleeping Bag
* . . revolting—Leslie Armpit
Bbnombe'a better gusts
. . . arff!—Johtt de Wolfe
. . . mere trash—Rose Marx
. . . cultural—Ed Pedersen
PdmhlmJ
OTMHw
fio Stoma
Epitaph on Old JMald's Tomb:
Who says you cah't take It *Jth
yolt?
*IP V V
"Where ya bin?"
"to the river."'
"What fer?"
"Hadda spit."
*       *       «
UnstrJict<*<r:Mr. * Mlae*^inon,   who
was   Anne   Boleyn?"
MacKinnon:   Anne Boleyn waa  a
flatlron."
Instructor: "How could she have
been?"
MacKinnon: "It says in the history book that Henry VIII having disposed of Catherine, pressed
his suit with Anne Boleyn."
Kickapoos are Making
Funeral   Arrangements   for
Cal. Bears
Order Your Flowers
Now
POINT my
noma shop
Flours of Extinction
4429 W. 10th Ave    AL 0660
City-Wide Delivery
Go West Young Man on Tenth
to
tSean 4
the home of Kickapooburgers and Beans srf-JT"   /■'-'-■^."   ■»*—•^-•y-
■piPPP^
■pppfP
^*^f|RP
Wadnetday, March 2i, 1951
THE KICKAPOOBYSSEY
—m—^m—
P«g«3
SMtBiFf tMWItS BOffl Bfe*RElS
By "HlflhbalUr"
Smedley Twitch, rehowned big-
game hunter, confided that lie
had to empty both barrels to get
his bag full during his recent hunting trip.
At the start of the hunt he was
fortunate to shoot three peasants
in the drawers near Prince George,
hut after that he was holding the
bag for tWo days.
All other members dt the batty
had shot a little dough or a cow
moose, but It was great luck to ba
able to shoot the bull. This waa exciting because it hapened at night
"Unable to sleep sifter a big dinner of sauerkraut and beans 1
stepped outside. I kttew the moose
had got my wind, however my
Idng asociation with members of
the moose lodge put*me in good
standing and I was a match for
him.
"When he forded a stream 1
jumped'in after him. This *as a
shook because the cold water came
ap fast thy expectations.
"Realltlng that every buck has
a hundred scents, fbr three days
and tilghts I chased him and then
at last I lid Him surrounded. As
he Ht ther* breathing hard aiid
spent, i drew a hefed oh bim. Teat**
weired In his eyes is he waltett
for the shot that mm get him
lh the en'd. But I could ndt shoot.
A lurtlp came to toy hrOat ahd las
I reached to Wipe a tear from rrty
eye, I looked lip, and the foodse
•wis 0m."
Srheyiey wants ail to Mow that
the iiiom of tlfe ti-td^y is: "f hat
when a buok Is si>ent its gone," or
"A man Who has a wooden leg
should qever inarry -j wonian who
likes to whittle."
If,      if      if.
ON ANOTMiW OtCASION sme-
_m_m_u__w ^^B^amiAa^^h^   ^^ma£
flWf KttSTtOn neacn
Straggler's Gulch
Straggler's Gulch — Texas —
.fcURP)— Stragglers Gulch Radio
reported at 10 p.m. this evening
that a large band of rustlers have
not yet got the herd over the border.   '
NEWS ITEM
The attention of every American citizen tonight is focused on
Straggler's Gulch, and the question on every Up all over the country ls "Will the ruttlerj get the
herd over the border by midnight?"
Businessmen, hurrying into thelt
clubs for a quick game of chess,
pause beside the news stand to
see If any Word has come ln from
little   town  on   the   border.
DEF Radio Network has got its
roving reporter on the scene, stationed just over the bdrder.
MAKARTY "DUNNO"
I have persohally interviewed
General "Atom" Markarty, the tactical genius, who states "Dunno."
However, at a conference Of the
American Institute of Cattle Rustlers, the speaker outlined a brief
plan for getting the herd across.
He said, while fingering his shoulder-holster, that the task Is a
simple one. After all there are
only 200,000 cattle.
His plan Is to cut one arm off
the fellow who squeals when the
Sherrlff asks him which way hey
went, and when he answers "they
went that-a-way," he can point only
one way, which will, of course, be
thc wrong way. Then the rustlers will have no trouble making
It by midnight.
The latest word is that they are
within four miles of the border.
Station QUEEN-TV, ls covering
the television end of the exciting story. They are equipped with
special lenses on their cameras to
cut through the dust.
The cattle, at last reports are
»on a high plain, which probably
accounts for the fact that beef Is
so higfi.
EYES GLUED TO SETS
The eyes of the great American
people are glued to 'their television sets—they are determined to
find out if the rustlers made It
or not. Doctors with hot water are
attending In an attempt to unglue
eyes,
At press time today, the small
bahd of iheiii who have captured the
attention of (ill America, are still
struggling to make the border by
midnight.
, Whether they will make It or not
Is still ln doubt, but It ls believed
that If they go through he gulch,
and ndt over the plains, where the
Sherrlff ls waiting for them, they
should just make lt.
It ls reported that one of the
rustlers, "No-nose," took tactics
with the COTC at UBC so lt ls very
likely that they will turn around,
and drive the herd up to Chicago,
where the price of beef is 85 cents
a pound.
But until vve definitely get word
one way or another, we still will
be asking the question that has
occupied the minds of all the)
brains of the country: "Will the
rustlers get the herd over the border by rnldnHgHt?"
Stadi
mm
(Continued from Page 3)
ning. To some he taught the rudiments of arcliltecture) to some lie
taught the method of fishing, to
still others he acted as a marriage
master. He was the giver of all
good things and the punlsher of
evil-doers.
The Indian world was considered to "consist of a land, water and
air mass. Each mass had Its own
inhabitants but these had no constant shape or size as they varied
with witchcraft or other supernatural events.
The pole represents the
Creator or Thnnderblrd giving
the land to the first man. As It. I*
an original by Mrs. Kakasalas the
pole is representative of no one
group or person but rather it belongs generally to every inhabitant
of British Columbia. It goes with
their best wishes to the winner of
Thursday's game.
dley went out with the gang to
bag a bear one moonlit night.
The older hunters told him that
bears were too big and dangerous
to hunt at night.
But Smedley was not to be daun-
M. so after getting a promise
that b% bear he got, fhe dthers
wdula skih. tik be mm. X Tittle
tetir lie came ttpoh 1 big bear
fbtmt Bo fttfo .lift*, idbiaihg up
in the foodnliiht.
:iip -tiftht 1M». info ItiH Se llrat
His Shot, only to graee ike bear's
shoulder. The'Wounded beast char-
led immediately, whereupon the
brazen Smedley dropped His guh
and hotfooted lt back to camp, tie
bear gaining rapidly.
He Arrived at the camp with lhe
bear breathing heavily on him. Mto
one ind of ,the tent the frrghtehed
Smedley sped, tripping over tbe
legs of his Startled companions. As
he reached the exit at tbe one
end the bear came in the first entrance galloping along.
"Here's the first one," pahted
Smedley. "Skin him out, I'm going
back for another."
9t* *f* 9fi
"LOOK HERE, I bought a bottle of yohr hair restorer last night,
and all Its done Is to raise these
big bumps on tny head."
"My gracious," said the beauty
doctor, "we must have sold ydti a
bottle of bUst developer by mis-
tBke."
T V V
WHEN OLE SWANSON came
to town ready to buy some new
beds ifor the logging camp, he
happened to be riding in the elevator of the Hotel Vancouver when
he met a very beautiful young girl.
But she was French and they could
not understand a word ot each
other's language.
So Ole took out a pencil and a
notebook and drew a sketch of a
taxi, She nodded her head and
laughed and they went for a ride
In the park.
Then he drew a picture of a
table in a restaurant with a question mark and she nodded, so they
went to, dinner.
After dinner he sketched two
dancers and she was delighted.
They went .to a night club and danced and had a lovely evening.
At length she asked for the pencil and drew a picture of a four-
poster bed.
Ole was dumbfounded. How the
heck did she know he had come
to town to buy beds?
n*        *s*        sp
A PSYCHIATRIS.T was giving a
lecture on Juvenile Dellnqnecy to
a group of women.
"In most instances of juvenile
delinquency, I believe that the mother is to blame."
Whereupon, he stopped before
one woman and said, "And what
is your child's name?"
"Her name Is Penelope, we call
her Penny," she replied.
"Aha, and yon think too much of
money," said the psychiatrist.
He asked another woman the
same question and she replied, "her
name is Claudia, we call her
Candy."
To this he said, "And you think
too much of sweets."
Suddenly a young woman in the
crowd grabbed her son's arm and
said. "C'mon, Richard, let's go
home."
■EDOMM»MrtMMBf>«ttMaW
P*d% CcHHt
oftitv Kkfcoptofeyiity,
Sirs:-—
Engineers are very fine
They come to see us aU the time
But alt they move are English cars
Despite the lovely moon ahd stars    -
They're good enough lor some, I guess
But really boys we. must confess
That when we've got the lied Shi t blues
We call upon the kickapoos.
Love and Kisses
The Girls' Dorms.
06% to on Xtthmotk
Alensman sauntered by one day
As Nonie wis dartclng a ballet
In Just W—well—thin negliglee. 7
Of course sTVe fealty did protest
CaUse altet* all she wasn't dressed
Hut now its done and she's confessed
The picture, really Was her best!
Mens fashions mthttpK!! Nothing toe haVnt ieeit l&fbtfi.
The thirty:thirteen drapes aire relics df the etirly "Witt's.
Duffel coats have kept Danes warm for years. Sixteenth century
Tibetans did not iron their shirts and they had never heard of
nyloh. And as far as the U. of Washington jackets are concerned, We have no commettt exeOpt to curse* the potential stadium
dollars Ihfit weiit south. $-
However,   we  must  admit  thit
one trend In men's styles has
chiight dttr favor. Thanks to dollar haircuts, men are now wearing
the daring new plunging hair line.
We predict a return to the use tit
night curlers. Court judges will ho
longer wear Wigs. There will be a
decline in the sale of Peck and
headwear. Football fans will no
longer shiver In the cold rains,
when they can weave their greased
locks Into waterproof canopies.
There will also be an increase In
■foreign trade, import of Japanese
rakes for use as combs will Increase a thousand-fold. Vancouver
Towing Conipany Ltd. Is already
making plans to haul the rakes in
log-boom style, Brooms and mops
will become obsolete since the
cleaning will be clone by wlfey asking Hubby for a new fur coat. The
resulting head-shaking will sweep
the dust from chandeliers and from
under the chesterfield at the same
time.
Ih time, barbers will reduce their
rates to entice more busluess. En-
trepeneurs will panic at this prospect  and  will  attempt to  unload
their huge stocks of bamboo rakes
at less than cost price. Business
will experience a drastic recession
and depression will set in. Gate receipts at football and rugger games
will drop and the Osfrom Plan
will be scuttled.
Men's fashions? Hell! Read Esquire.
BAD TEETH? Holes ln them?
Fill them yourself with Pewter's
Perma-Flx. Send for life's supply
now.
UBC Birdwatchers will hold
their annual roost on the flagpole
Main Mall, Campus. Bring your
own eggs.
VETERAN would like to share
delightful two-hole outhouse with
enterprising young freshman with
bread outlook on life. Air-conditioned, insulated. Splash guards a
feature.   Apply   Box   00,   Acadia.
ACCIDENT will have a meeting
of both contributors at 12 p.m.
ln police statlbh, basement Nick's
Rooflrtg, Seymour Street.*
J/vl <£md&/L fiomdty, SoIshl
Marion Cumming, Proprietress
FOR COURTESY and SERVICE
4447 W. 10th Ave.
ALma 061G
(MK YDry (loaning Plant In West Point Grey
WHITE  DOVE CLEANERS  LTD.
Pickup and Delivery
Deluxe Laundry Service
4567-lOth Ave
Alma 1688 mm
•r
mm
appi
Page 4,
THE KICKAPOOBYSSEY
Wednesday, Mareh 41, 1051
LETS KICKAPOO OUT OF CAL
S POR T
Sports Editor—"JOCK" STRIP
Associate—"RUBBY" DOWNS
BY SPORTSMAN
Bird Droppings
Nasty-minded Kickapoos approached student council recently
with a view to naming the rugby
game with California the Toilet
Bowl game. Prudish councillors
tip-tilted noses at this one, and suggested that the Totem Bowl might
be a iitt]# more proper.
Conservative by nature I still
tliis to the rejected Idea of the
"Toilet Bowl. Just think, If the Am
arlcauji won we could pull tho
little moron gag, and present them
■with ft sawn-ln-half toilet seat.
Or we could pull off a big commercial deal, and pay all the team
expenses by presenting the winners
With Happy-Bottom Plastex Tollel
Covers.
Mac.Gllllvray's happy little men
on the sports desk could have
all kinds of fun with a Toilet Bowl
story.
Like: BIRDS SWAMPED IN
TOILET TILT.
Or:     LAITHWAITE   -BLINDED
AS BIRDS DROP IN BOWL (Accompanied"1 by a picture of Laithwaite looking blind).
' Then the story:
Bird Ruggermen went under in
the final toilet tilt yesterday after
being doused by powerful Call-
fornlans, spearheaded by All-American Les Rlchter who has played
football in the Hollywood Bowl, the
Pasadena Play-House and American Can.
"It was the experience in the Can
that gave me the know-how I need
for the Toilet Bowl," he admitted
modestly.
Playing was fceen aesplte poor
visibility and practically no ground
conditions,
Grumbled blinded Albert, poking
frantically at his eyes with a handkerchief, "We would have won if
; they hadn't brought ln their Rowing Team at half-time."
Rugby officials were unable to
determine what caused the movement to the Bowl.
i "It  might  have heen  the  pancakes  at Acadia," one  player  intimated.
Laithwaite later suggested  that
i the Bowl wasn't the best place fdr
\ the  name.
j    "Playing under these conditions
proved quite a drain oit-oui players,
Some of our best men were flush-
i ed  In  the  first  half.  Cal ruggers
I pushed in from the side anifswainp-
ed  us  ln  a  series  of  undercover
j plays."
! Only UBC goal was scored by
Pete Lusztig who evaded Cal oarsmen to float the pig-skin over tbe
bars.
The Bill Bradshaw award, a
toilet bowl emblematic of rugger
supremacy, was presented to the
captain of the winning team in a
surreptitious ceremony in the
Brock Basement. Callfornians hurriedly left with the trophy before
enraged frequenters of the Brock
discovered Its absence.
Snarled Laithwaite, after Birds
left to play ln the American Can
with the U. of Southern West
Dakota, "Next time we should give
them the Birds."
FORMING a rugged rugger Thunderbird totem, are some
of the Birds who will see action in tomorrow's game. The
happy expession on their faces can be attributed to thoughts
of the victory smash which they will undoubtedly stage
following Saturday's game. Culprits shown from top to
bottom are: MacFarlane, Newton, Puil, Clarke, Main,
Smith, Tennant. . .
Behind
The
Scenes
ALBERT LAITHWAITE
Albert Laithwaite, the Head
Rugby Coach, was born In St.
Helen, Lancashire, England, and
educated at Cosvley Schools long
famous for Its rugby teams. He
continued an' outstanding rugby
career with several prominent English  fifteens,
A veteran of six years service in
the Royal Air Force, Albert has
had extensive administration experience, particularly in the or-
ganizing of sports events.
Upon demobilization ln 1946, Al-       *
bert  went  to  Ridley  College,  St.
Catherines, as' Physical Education
Master and  Officer ln charge ot   I
cadets.
In 1947 he joined the staff of the   k\
Physical Education Department at
the University of British Columbia
and later that year took over the
reins as Head Rugby Coach,
TRAINER JOHNNY OWEN
• Back once more to look after
the bruises sprains and sundry
sore spots of the Rugby Team is
Johnny Owen, good-natured, happy
and competent as ever. Johnny
has trained almost a full generation of athletes on the University*
of British Columbia campus since
he came here about 11 years ago.
He has been awarded an Honorary Big Block from the University of British Columbia for services over and above the call ot
duty.
His travels with the University
athletic **jeams have taken him *
over most of the continent. From
Montreal to San Francisco he
brings a wealth ot experience to *
help the boys through the bumps
and bruises of the season.
GAMES THURSDAY AND SATURDAY
Rugger In UBC Stadium
UBC's stadium will again feel
the cleats of World Cup Rugger
players, Tomorrow at 12:30
and Saturday at 2:1.1, Thunderbirds and"University of California Bears will resume their
feud in the third and fourth
games   of  the   series.
Cup winner is deckled on a
basis of number of wins and
total points. Bears will appear
with 6-5 and 8-0 wins to their
credit. This leaves a nine point
deficit for UHC to overcome.
They must also win both
games to keep the trophy at
home.
Coach Albert Laithwaite is
optimistic about the outcome
of the series. Last week, he expressed a determination to win
at least one of the two battles
his team was waging. The McKechnie Cup game w'ent by the
boards so fans can look forward
to victories over California. A
glance at some of the players
will bear out Laithwaite's
faith In the Varsity team.
>(•       if       ff.
('erry   Main-lnsidt*   :.* 4,    *i*l1.
190 lbs.. Ago so, comm*. ii First
year  team   member  who   hall.-*
from Victoria. Formerly played
with the Victoria Reps for two
years. Gei'ry has proved a very
good addition to this year's
team. Provides an excellent
combination with John Newton,
left   wing.
John Tennant-Scrum-half, 5'8,
150 lb., Age 23 Law 1 (B. A.)
Captain of the team, John ls
playing his fifth year of rugby
at the University. Probably the
best scrum half In Vancouver
rugby circles today. Graduate
of Kitsilano High School where
he played both football and
rugby. John owns four Big
Blocks—2 rugby and two football.
Ralph Martinson-Front Row,
6T 200 lbs., Age 20. P.E. 3
Sophomore front row forward
of the Thunderbirds. One of
the hardest working players ou
the  team.
Dick Kuxton-Front Row, 6'1,
215 lbs., Age 20, Arts 2 second
year member. Dick upholds the
front row along with Bill Blake
and Ralph Martinson, whose
average weight is a very compact   208   lbs.   Attended   both
Brentwood and St. George's
High  School,
Danny Oliv^r-FlyHalf. 5'8,
160 lbs., Age 22. Law I. A very
valuable addition to this years
team. Former scrum halt* for
Vancouver Rep and this year
the 'Birds are benefitting by
his versartHtty. Fills In either at
scrum half or break.
•
California will also field a formidable team. They have the
makings of a real powerhouse.
Coach Lynn Waldorff will
have on his starting lineup
Maxle Howell, former star of
Australia's   touring  Wallabies.
All-Coast. ail-American Les
Rlchter, a 230 lb. 6'*"' husky,
will be a stone wall in the
backfield.
Another All-Coast star, Carl
Van Heuit, will accordini*, to
Waldorff. be most missed by
the team when he graduates
n*e\"t  year.
California'will carry 11 ha-*k-
t'ield men aud 11 scrum. Ten
of the player's also direct [.heir
abilities towards American
football.
The Birds aren't lambs and Cal.'s a Bear
There'll be a fight and I'll be there, »
So cheer your team and when you're hoarse
Try Creomland Milk, the Best of coarse!
I   i

Cite

Citation Scheme:

        

Citations by CSL (citeproc-js)

Usage Statistics

Share

Embed

Customize your widget with the following options, then copy and paste the code below into the HTML of your page to embed this item in your website.
                        
                            <div id="ubcOpenCollectionsWidgetDisplay">
                            <script id="ubcOpenCollectionsWidget"
                            src="{[{embed.src}]}"
                            data-item="{[{embed.item}]}"
                            data-collection="{[{embed.collection}]}"
                            data-metadata="{[{embed.showMetadata}]}"
                            data-width="{[{embed.width}]}"
                            async >
                            </script>
                            </div>
                        
                    
IIIF logo Our image viewer uses the IIIF 2.0 standard. To load this item in other compatible viewers, use this url:
http://iiif.library.ubc.ca/presentation/cdm.ubysseynews.1-0123669/manifest

Comment

Related Items