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The Ubyssey Feb 14, 1924

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 Issued Weekly by the Student Publications Board of the University of British Columbia
Volume VI.
VANCOUVER, B.C., FEBRUARY 14th,    1924
No. 16
col Fallis
speaks ON
WORLD PEACE
Discussion  of  Works  of g^ague
In  Maintenance  of  International Problems
"The world today is in need of both
the support and the example of the
younger generation to prove to the
world that the true philosophy of life
is based on peace and not on war,"
declared Rev. Col. G. O. Fallis in a
much appreciated lecture on "The
Problem of World Peace." delivered to
the students in the Auditorium last
Friday noon. Col. Fallis appealed to
the students, as those who "had a
good deal of tomorrow in their hands,"
to assist in leading the thoughts of
men towards the necessity for universal cessation of strife.
The speaker, in closing, offered several suggestions whose adoption
would, he claimed, aid materially in
establishing world-wide peace. These
included the elimination of international hatreds by suppression of unwarranted prejudices and by forgetful-
ness of past wrongs, the eradication
of ignorant dislikes by broader and
more careful education on the schools,
and the setting-up of a spirit of amity
(Continued   on   Page   6)   j
Second Debate
To Be Held Soon
Lome Morgan and Billy Murphy
to Battle with California
The second international debate of
the term will take place next Tuesday, February 19th. when L. T.
Morgan. Arts '24, and Wm. Murphy,
Arts '26. will uphold the affirmative
in a debate against representatives
of the University of California. Great
interest has been aroused on the
forthcoming contest, so that a large
attendance  is  expected.
Lome Morgan, the well-known de-
ba*«—-oT~-\rts '24, will lead the U.
B. C. team. Lome is an experienced
and successful debater, having twice
figured in inter-collegiate contests,
speaking at California last year and
at Idaho two years ago, and being
on  the  winning  side   in   each  case.
"Billy" *Murphy, second speaker
for ^Varsity, is participating in an international debate for the first time,
but has an enviable record as an
inter-class debater. He is also well-
known for his activities as secretary of  the  Men's  Literary  Society.
On Saturday afternoon, John S.
Burton and L. Howard Goodwin leave
for Berkeley to defend the negative
there. Both are experienced debaters and are prepared to give California a close  battle.
The debates will be decided by an
official decision in both cases, but a
vote of the audiences will also be
taken.
Tickets are on sale at noon today.
GEH    TERNAN.
Geh Ternan has played his last
game for Varsity, and as captain of
the rugby squad for the yast two years
he has won an enviable record. Under
him the Varsity boys have captured
six rugby cups, a record for the province. Geh scored two of the three
drop kicks made this season in Vancouver, and that of his last game is
one of the best kicks ever made in
the city. Besides scoring these four
points last Saturday he scored Varsity's only try after Hyslop had made
the opening. Geh expects to line up
with  the Native Sons next year.
Rugby Men Annex
Their Sixth Cup
Tisclajl  Cup  Carried  Off  In
y Saturday's  Game
Geh Ternan's drop kick, Geh Tertian's try on Hyslop's opening, and a
convert by Val Gwyther, gave Varsity
a 9—0 victory Saturday in the Tisdall
Cup final when the Collegians met the
Native Sons and carried off the sixth
rugby cup of the season. Ternan's
drop kick from thirty-five yards out
was the feature play of the game. The
ball was heeled from Varsity's scrum
into Geh's hands, and although he was
at an impossible angle he took the
chance and in spite of having the wind
against him, he was able to drop the
ball exactly between the posts.
Gordon Hyslop gave Geh a wonderful chance tor the only try of the game
half way through the second period,
when he passed to Ternan after crossing the line. Val had an easy shot at
the goal.
The score in no way indicates how
the play went, for during the whole
time the Native Sons had a large
(Continued   on   Page   2)
PLANS BROUGHT FORWARD
ATtXAMPAIGN MEETING
FOR WORK AT THE POINT
Various Plans Outlined for Raising Funds for Athletic Equipment.
Chairman of Various Committees Address Students
The CAMPAIGN is well away to a
good start. At the meeting held in
the Auditorium last Tuesday noon the
students were informed of the progress which has already been made.
This consists in the formation of capable committees, in the drawing up
of plans for raising money, and, most
important of all, in the inception of a
healthy   CAMPAIGN   bank  account.
Mr. Kenny Carlisle, chairman of the
CAMPAIGN Committee, stated that
the objective of the CAMPAIGN
is ten thousand dollars, a goal which
it is hoped will be reached by March
15. The money will practically all
be spent on establishing playing
fields.
Bob Hedley, chairman of the Works
Committee, stated that the site which
had been chosen for these fields has
been abandoned, owing to the excessive cost of drainage: but that a more
tractable though smaller site has been
chosen. Mr. Hedley appealed for active physical support on the part of
the students, at the same time warning them that the success of the
CAMPAIGN depended On more enthusiasm than was apparent from
the  attendance  at   the  meeting.
Hugh McCallum. Ag. '24, chairman
of  the  Publicity  Committee, declared
VARSITY DRAWS
WITH VICTORIA
J IN BASKETBALL
Saturday evening, before a large
crowd. Varsity drew with Victoria in
the annual basketball gajnes. The
Varsity women's Senior H\ team defeated Victoria by a~ score of 11—0,
and the men's Intermediatq^A^lost to
the visitors By i6—25. VarsiTy Senior
B defeated Crescents, 2$—19, in an
exhibition game.
After the games, the crowd danced
till midnight. The floor was a little
rough, and the orchestra was somewhat flat at times, but everyone had
a good time.
The women's game was rather slow
and featured by hard checking on both
sides. The Victoria girls seemed lost
in the strange gymnasium, although
they tried hard enough. Flo Musgrave
at centre played a splendid game for
the visitors, and Patsy Robinson was
the outstanding player on the Varsity
team.
In the Intermediate game the lighter
Victoria boys, playing without their
regular centre, gave the Varsity team
a good lesson in combination play.
The Varsity men worked hard, but
they did not have the snappy passing
of the Victoria squad. Jeff Bothwell,
the diminutive Victoria forward, was
the most outstanding player on the
(Continued   on   Page   6)
t t all the Vancouver daily papers
^ t solidly in support of the CAM-
I \IGN.
A gala night of dancing, vaudeville,
scientific feature displays, side shows,
mah jongg, etc., etc.-, was the vision
presented to the minds of the enthusiastic students- by Sherwood Lett,
chairman of trje Alumni Committee.
Mr. Lett carefully explained the lively
and original program which the U.
B. C. graduates are preparing to put
on in the Willow Huts on March 15.
The purpose of the entertainment is
to raise money from the public for
the  CAMPAIGN  fund.
A nineteen-hundred dollar bank
account is the commendable result
of sacrifices and savings on the part
of various student organizations to
date, according to Leonard Gaddes,
Chairman of the Contributions Committee. Mr. Gaddes mentioned a few
of the sources from which the students hope to raise money in the
near future. These include a Rowing Club dansant, and a dance by
the   McKechnie   Cup 'tWam.
A resolution to donate the balance
of the Caution Money remaining at
the end of this term to the CAMPAIGN funds will be read at Friday's meeting. Every student is requested to be there as the adoption
of this resolution to be effective
should also be unanimous.
The personnel of the CAMPAIGN
Committee, as announced, by Jack
Grant at Tuesday's meeting, is as
follows: —
Kenny Carlisle, chairman; Isobel
Russt-1, secretary: John Oliver, treasurer: the crairman of the sub-committee: three members of the Alumni,
viz.. Miss Marjorie Agnew, Mr. Sherwood Lett, Mr. Banfield, and Mr. Jap
Wolverton.
CANADIAN POET
TO GIVE RECITAL
University students should make a
special effort to hear Bliss Carman
next Wednesday in the, First Congregational Churchy Among those who
have made a study of our national literature, the consensus of opinion
seems to be that Bliss Carman ranks
as our best Canadian poet. In his recital on Wednesday he will read and
comment upon those poems which
have appealed most strongly to the
educated public. As this will be his
only public appearance in Vancouver,
students who wish to make sure of
hearing him will do well to secure
their tickets early, at Ireland & Allan's bookstore. For the convenience
of those who cannot do this, tickets
will be on sale in the Front Hall on
Monday during the noon hour.
L*. w
THE     UBYSSEY
Feb. 14th,  1924
Students Loose
Leaf Supplies
A full line of covers
and refills at reasomiMe
prices.
MURPHY & CHAPMAN
LIMITED
STATIONERS,  PRINTERS
569 Seymour Street
The     VARSITY    SHOP
One   of   the   many   extraordinary price redctions of our
Removal Sae
Suit and  Overcoats
$18.75
Formerly priced at $30 to $3'5.
Fashion Craft
Thos. Foster & Co.
514   Granville   St.
One Store Only
High Jinks Results
/in the Insanity
Found Below
DEAR ELSINORE—
Again High Jinks has been and
gone—and such a "High Jinks" it
i was too. Such costumes—such
skits—and such fun! There were
old-fashioned women, gallant cavaliers, Hawaiians, and pretty little
girls.
Miss Frances Higginbotham, '24
in a rose costume—won first prize
for the best dressed lady: and Miss
Phyllis Hemsworth—as little Lord
Fauntleroy—for the best dressed
man. Miss Mary Cole '27 as Aunt
Jemima was the funniest lady—and
Miss Mary Dobbin '25 as "Mamma's
Boy"  was  the  funniest  man.
I told you there were skits—didn't
I? First an impromptu jazz orchestra
(almost as bad as the Heinz band)
gave several selections—then 2 niggers told stories to one another.
"The Elixir of Youth"—a one act
play and "Riding Down from Bangor" were also very funny. Arts '25
worked very hard to make the entertainment   a   success.
Then, of course, we had refreshments—lemonade, biscuits and bulrushes. You know, Elsinore, I could
rave on forever, but since raving is
considered as a mild form of insanity I really must not write any
more.
Yours,
Marmie.
The Women's Undergrad. Executive
wish to thank the Hudson's Bay Co.
for their kindness in lending them
the   decorations   used  at   High  Jinks.
TANGO
Where     anyone     can
learn  to  dance.
All
Dances
and
Mew  Steps  in two or
three  private  lessons.
Beginners may start any time—
finest   school   and   longest   lessons.    Plenty  of  practice.    We
specialize in teaching gentlemen
to lead  correctly  and  ladies to
follow with ease.
JEAN  SEARLES
117 Empire Bldg".        Phone Sey. 22
603 BASTINGS ST. WEST
If  you  learn  here  you  can  dance
anywhere.
^ MUSICAL   SOCIETY
Miss Mary Pitteudrigh, President
of the University Musical Society, announces a grand student reeitgft to be
held in the Auditorium, Wednesday,
Feb. 20, at 3.15 p.m. A cordial invitation is extended to all students and
friends.
The Musical Society is fortunate to
include in its membership many musicians of high standing, and several
of these will be heard to advantage
on Wednesday.
The programme includes:
1. Trio—Violin,  Flute  and  Clarinet.
Messrs.   Kania,   Baird.
2. Piano Solo.
Gertrude   Dowsley.
3. Violin Duet.
Alice Wilma Metz and Leslie
Brooks.
4. Vocal Solo.
Margaret Kerr.
5. Violin  Solo.
Jean   Tennant.
(i.    Vocal  Solo.
Carl  Barton.
7.    Piano  Duet.
Misses Ida and Florence Kerr.
PARTS FINALLY
ASSIGNED FOR
SPRING  PLAY
A complete list of the principals
and understudies in the Spring Play
is now available. It is as follows: —
Principal, Miss B. Somerset: understudy, Miss M. Teeple; principal, Miss
A. Berkeley: understudy, Miss A.
Pumphery; principal, Mr. P. Palmer;
understudy, Mr. K. Caple: principal,
Mr. T. Taylor; understudy, Mr. W.
Matthews: principal, Mr. A. Zoond;
understudy, Mr. C. Sing; principal.
Mr. F. Lister; understudy, Mr. H. Warren. The final role, that of the husband, has at length been awarded to
Mr. Cross, with Mr. Chamberlain as s
understudy.
Under the supervision of Mr. Syd.
Sommers, work was begun last Monday on two new sets of scenery, especially constructed for "The World
and  His Wife."
The following are the heads of the
various  committees:
Women's Costumes — Miss Jean
Thomson.
Men's Costumes—Mr. "Bruddy" Let-
son.
Properties—Miss  Dorothy Holmes.
Press—Miss  Eleanor Ormond.
Scenery—Mr. J. W. B. Shore.
Posters—Miss  Gertrude  Maclnnes.
Mr. Percy Barr is the general business manager. Every member of the
Club who is neither a principal nor an
understudy is on one or another of
these  committees.
The date of production of the play
in Vancouver is Monday and Tuesday,
March 24 and 25. The place: the Orpheum Theatre.
i Ijistitute
Addressed
3y, y
v       TISDALL CUP GAME
( (Continued from Page 1)
share of it. In the first half they controlled the game and kept the ball in
the scrums, but during the later stages
when Varsity had the edge, rushes by
the three-quarters were frequent,
A few minutes before half-time
Mathews of the Sons received a wicked gash over the eye and was carried
off, not being able to play through the
rest of the game. Sparks withdrew
from the Varsity pack, so that the
Blue and Gold men would riot benefit
by the accident.
This is Varsity's last game of the
season, and when the McKechnie men
line up next year several of the old
stars will be missing. There is no
need to worry about Varsity taking
the cellar position next year, however,
as there is some fine material coming up which Jim Scott, the coach,
will be able to whip into excellent
teams.
Dr. Plaskett^'<^4
The Physics building was crowueit
to overflowing last Thursday evening
when J3i\_LPlaskett, head of the
Astrophysical Observatory on Little
Saanich Mountain, speaking under the
auspices of the Vancouver Institute,
gave an open lecture on "The Evolution of the Stars."
Magnified photographs of nebulae,
star maps, and other photographs and
diagrams  illustrated  the lecture.
The primal cause, insofar as we are
at present able to comprehend cause,
of stellar evolution was the force of
gravitation,  the scientist declared.
If matter is assumed as having been
present in the universe in simple
form when evolution commenced,
then the subsequent developments in
the formation of the stars can be more
or less conjectured from the nebular
hypothesis,   the   lecturer   explained.
Dr. Plaskett made it understood that
he did not believe irrevocably in this
theory, but merely accepted it as a
working hypothesis until such-rime as
a better one was brought forward.
The speaker gave a short resume of
the history of astronomical research
in connection with this subject, and
also discussed the various theories
current among the astronomers of
to-day.
Of course you don't
like
A LEAKY
AUTO TOP
'We  are  quite  sure  you
DON'T   LIKE   RUBBERS
AND AN OVERCOAT
tHiit   leaks   is   worse
IH'CO Waterproofing cures all
these troubles, so don't stand for
them  any  longer.
Small   tins   for   Boots, $ .45
Large    tins    for    Autos $1.2.3
Overcoats   Treated
$2.00   to   $2.">0
Outings Limited
Tel.   Sey.   4386
817   Pender   St.   W.
The Florence
Confectionery
4!i:   BROADWAY   W.
(Corner Cambie)
Light   Lunches                      Tobaccos
Confectionery
Hot   Mnat   Pies  a   Specialty
A cosy spot on  a cold Jay.
ERNEST   T.   TAYLOR,
Fair.  5697.
Spalding Sweaters
Are Warm Friends
Become Acquainted I
Of CanaJi. Limit^.i [
I 424 Hastings St., W., Vancouver, B. C.
S.   C.   M.   MEETING.
On Monday noon^-Feb. 18, in Room
Z, Dean Coleman wilpgive the address
that was scored -effihe programme on
Saturday afternoon of the conference.
The subject is "Psychology and Christianity."
MATHEMATICS CLUB.
The Club will meet in Mr. Robin
son's office, Faculty Annex, at 4 p.m.
Thursday (this afternoon). Two papers will be read, one by Mr. J. Brown
on "Magic Squares," the other by Mr.
W. Thompson on "Commercial Mathematics." Anyone interested in these
{subjects is invited to be present.
The Week's Events
Thursday,   Feb.   14—Swimming    Clu
finals, Chalmers tank. S p.m.
Engineering  Discussion Club:   "Tl
Connaught   Tunnel."     A.   H.  Finla
Physics Lecture Room, at noon.
Mathematics  Club:    Mr.  Robinson
oflice in the Annex, at 4 p.m.
Vancouver    Institute:      Meeting
Physics  Bldg. at  S p.m.
Friday,    Feb.    15—Mass    Meeting
Auditorium.
Saturday,    Feb.   16—Basketball:    Vs
sity   A  vs.   Native   Sons   at   Norm
Gym. at 8 p.m.
Soccer:    Varsity   vs.   St.   Andrew
Con Jones'  Park at 2.45.
Soccer:    U.  B.  C.  vs.  Central Pa
at Marpole, at 2.45.
Monday,  Feb. 18—S. C. M.:  "Psych
ogy  and  Christianity."    Dean Co
man.    Room Z, at noon.
Tuesday, Feb. 19—Letters Club:  "C
ver Wendell Holmes."    G. B. Rid<
hough   (Mr.   R.  L.  Reid,  K.C,  IS
Pacific St.).
Debate:    U. of California vs. U.B
K. E. H. S. Auditorium, at 8 p.m Feb. 14th. 1924
THE     UBYSSEY
Ed. Da Motta
Hair Cutting a Specialty
Expert Attendant
□
2558 Heather St.
see-
Thomas k McBain Limited
655 GRANVILLE STREET
about the new Top Coat. Just
received new shipment of lightweight, belted coats from England.
We are also showing a snappy
raincoat at $15.00.
SEMI-READY
SERVICE SHOP
655 Granville  St.
EMPR ESS
Phone  Seymour  2492
Miss Verna Felton and the
Allen Players in
'Madam Sherry'
Eve., 8:30; 25c, .">5c, 60c, 75c.
Wed. Mat.: 20c. 60c; Sat. Mat.:
30c, 40c. Kiddies anytime, 15c.
500 gallery seats lac.
Get a
VARSITY PENNANT
For the
FOOTBALL MATCHES
We have them in stock
SHAW &MGGILL, LTD
SPORTING GOODS
658 Robson St.
Service  Bldg., 4 Doors  East  of
Granville St.
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Write for
booklet oo
Vends Pencils and
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Mechanical Pencils
SPORT NEWS
First Soccer Team
i      Defeated by Elks
Students   Have   Hard   Luck   In
Losing Saturday's Game
The Vancouver Elks had more than
their share of the breaks when they
defeated the fast-stepping Varsity
eleven by a two to one count in a
league fixture at the Con Jones enclosure last Saturday. Although the
students may be criticized for lack of
finish in front of their opponents goal,
nevertheless even the most ardent
supporter of the Brother Bills could
not but admit that diminutive Lefty
Delcourt literally had horseshoes
hanging on his goal posts. The students were at all times dangerous and
scored two hardly earned goals, one
of which was disallowed, while the
Elks counters came from a penalty
and a fluke goal in the dying
moments  of the  game.
Varsity started out well, when after
ten minutes of play Tommy Wilkinson headed in a cross from Buckley's
boot that had Delcort beaten to a
standstill. Prom then on till the end
of the half the collegians seemed content to rest on their laurels. Finally
Deans had the misfortune to handle
in the dreaded area, and Howden gave
Mosher no chance to save when he
took the resultant penalty kick.
After this reverse the students
livened up, but the forward line missed
Huestis, the aggressive wing man being laid up owing to injuries. In the
second period Mosher hardly had a
shot but the Elk custodian was kept
busy and made one or two marvellous
saves, and may be justly proud of his
performance.
With only a minute to go and the
score tied, Hazeldine tested Mosher
with an easy shot which Heggie held
a little too long and was charged, and
before he could recover Cameron tapped the ball into the net and the Elks
had won.
Varsity Line-up — Mosher, Baker,
Crute, Buckley. Phillips, Ledingham,
Emery, Butler, Wilkinson, Lundie,
Deans.
Amazpnian Hoop-Tossers Delight
y      Crowds of Fans
Besides the victory over the Victoria College ladies, thg_A_team decisively defeated the _KonnaIs 31—7.
The game was a clean one to watch
and the excellent combination and
shooting by Varsity were the main
features,    y
The B mm lost one game and w~on
one": They defeated the Senior A's
12—8 in a fast game, thus gaining a
chance for the cup. They lost, however, to the B. C. EJectrics 10—5. but
only after a hard fight.'
The teams were:
Senior A—"Patsy" Robinson, "Gay"
Swencisky, Doris Shorney. Isabel Russell, and Isabel McKinnon.
Senior B—Winona Straight, Alda
Moffat, Margaret Ryan, Catherine
Reid, Margery  Bell.
THE  SHY   FRESHETTE   WRITES  A
TRIOLET.
I cannot write a triolet
Like subtle G. B. R.
Unknown to love, a violet,
I cannot write a triolet,
But  since I fain would  try—O let
Not innocence me debar.
I cannot write a triolet
Like subtle G.  B. R.
Varsity Senior A
Hoop TVIen Lose
Y.M.C.A.   Wins   Fast   Game   By
Odd Point—Wilkinson  Stars
for Varsity
Last Monday evening Varsity's Senior A squad lost to the Y. M. C. A.
by "23^-22, In the hardest fought and
most exciting contest of the season.
Two overtime periods were played before the final score was reached. The
Varsity men put up their strongest fight
of the year and deserved to win, but
luck was against them. The game was
featured by close checking on both
sides. Shortly after the opening whistle sounded, Varsity led by 7 to 2,
through the efforts of Tommy Wilkinson and Les Bickell. However during
the latter part of the half the Y. M.
drew up on their opponents, and the
half-time score was 11—10 in favor of
Varsity.
Near the beginning of the second
half, Referee Yeo chased Ralston to
the showers for an exceptionally unsportsmanlike attack on Wilkinson.
With ten minutes to go, the Y.M.C.A.
had a 6-point lead. Wilkinson and
Bickell evened the score and the half
ended with the score 18—18.
In the first overtime period Wilkinson scored 4 for Varsity, while Phipps
and Shiles dropped in a basket each
for the Y. M. Shiles want to the
bench at the end of the period with
4 personals.
At the beginning of the second overtime period Tanny Butler scored on
a free throw, and with only a few seconds to go Robson, who had been trying long shots all evening without success, dropped in the winning basket
from centre floor. Every man on the
Varsity line-up put up a great game.
Tommy Wilkinson gave an exceptionally fine exhibition, out-scoring Shiles
at centre by 11 points.
The teams: Varsity—Bickell (4),
Butler (1), Wilkinson (17), Lewis,
Carlisle.
Y. M. C. A.—Robson (6), Ralston
(4). Shiles (6), Rendel, Hand, Phipps
(3), PhiUips. Priest  (4).
ARTS '27.
The Freshman class have set an example to the other years by declaring
$200 as their class objective in the
Campaign drive. Arts '26, '25, '24, take
notice!
The Smaller
The Hat
The Smarter
Have you seen the new "Bangkok" Models? They are wonderfully   attractive.
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45-47-49 Hastings Street East THE      UBYSSEY
Feb.  14th,   1924
Sty? lltnjHHnj
(Member   Pacific   Inter-Collegiate   Press
Association)
Issued every Thursday by the Publications
Board of the University of British Columbia.
Extra   mural   subscriptions,   $2.00   per   session.
For advertising rates apply
Business   Mahager.     Phone   Fair.   44S">
EDITOBXAI.    STAFF.
Editor-in-Chief   .:....•- A.   L.   Wheeler
Senior  Editor Cliff  Dowling
Associate   Editors Miss   Grace   Smith
T.   W.   Rrmvii
Miss  Stidit-   r.oyh>s
Feature   Editor    ...Kalph   Mathews
Literary   ]-:<iit m- \V.   •'.   Murpliy
Exchanse   Editor Miss   Gwen   Stirling
Sporting Editor  - J. Cowx
Chief  Reporter  - H.   C.  MacCallum
BEPOBTOBIAL STAFF.
Laura S. Mowsjtt, John Grace, Dorothy Arkwright, 'A.; Earle Birney. Florence Williams. Doris McKay. R. O. Xor-
man. Dave Taylor. 1; Yy. Ball. Marion
Smith. Les HiicUlt-v. Alan -Hemingway.
TT.    D.    Wallis
BUSINESS STAPP.
Business  Mann'eer  ...-..'.;'..'..-.... T.   J    Keenan
Assist.  Bus.  Mgrs W.  H.  Sparks
Eric   Dunn
Homer   A.   Thompson.
Circulation  Manager  F.  J.  Brand
Business   Assistants TT    C.   Etter
Miss   Eloise   Angell
Miss  Isabel  Macbeth
E. J. Eades
EDITOR   FOB   THE    WEEK
Grace Smith
STUDENT  CONTROL  OrAvBOOK-
STORE.
It is generally agreed that the bookstore should be taken over by the students when the move is made to Point
Grey. The adjutages of student control in this department are sufficiently obvious to need no discussion here
The numerous ■difficiulti'es that stand
in the way of such an undertaking,
however, seem to be frequently overlooked. Although these obstacles are
by no means ! insurmountable, they
must not be disregarded, as they are
apt to be, in .considering the feasibility  of the  project.,,
In the first place' suitable quarters
will have to, be provided, and it is a
question whether any such will be
available. The erection of a special
building might have to be undertaken,
and this, added'to the expenditure involved in taking over the old stocks
and purchasing new ones, would be a
considerable drain on student finances. Then again, a manager would
have to be appointed and paid on a
twelve-month :basis. When we consider that the receipts from our Alma
Mater fees are now about eight thousand dollars, a. salary of from fifteen
hundred to two thousand dollars a
year assumes significant proportions.
Student control of the bookstore is
but one of many objectives that we
should strive to attain. The time will
come when there will be a co-operative store at Point, Grey and a University daily printed by a student-
owned and controlled printing press.
These developments are essential to
University life and-are inevitable. We
must, however, temper our enthusiastic pursuit of them by a steady consideration of the difficulties involved.
VTHE   LITERARY   SUPPLEMENT.
/The "Ubyssey,". with its staff of
thirty workers, seldom asks foi« original contributions from the remainder
of the student body, but we feel that
this is an opportune time to send out
a call for material for the spring Literary Number. We are always assured of meritorious work from certain
regular contributors, but in a University composed: of. twelve hundred students there must be many more who
can write acceptably.
If even a tenth of the poetry that is
written in secret were of a fairly high
standard, there would probably be
enough to overflow the four-page supplement;   and   some   who  have   found
that in their essays a certain style is
productive of marks that satisfy, might
try this style with effect in original
work. New contributors are always
welcome, but this year they are absolutely necessary: for the members of
the "old guard." who gladdened the
heart of many a Literary Editor in the
past, are graduating remorselessly.
Their example alone should be enough
to inspire the younger students with
the desire to imitate them.
In previous years the Supplement
has maintained a healthy literary
standard, and it is hoped that this
standard will be at least equalled this
spring. Poems and short stories are
particularly in demand, and sketches
or1 incidents can also be used. Although former Supplements have contained very little of the humorous,
contributions of a humorous nature
will be accepted, provided that they
have genuine literary merit. Those
wishing to contribute should address
their manuscripts to the Literary Editor, Mr. W.. C. Murphy.
■HEATRE    NIGHT.
Alter much deliberation it has been
decided that Theatre Night will be
held this year as usual. Once again
rises tlie old question of whether or
not it is advisable to continue the
practice of this annual function. If
the exhibition is to be of the weak and
pointless nature displayed in previous
years, we would emphatically say:
"Drop it." The only thing that saved
tlie performance from absolute failure
last year was the one-act play "Poor
Old Jim." put on by members of the
Players' Club. The skits in question
were pointless and boring, and compared very unfavorably with the regular Orpheum bill, the standard of
which is not too elevated for University students to equal if not surpass.
Although Theatre Night last year
left itself open to a great deal of
criticism, there is a natural reluctance to abolish an established institution. The dropping of inter-faculty
skits is inevitable and also desirable,
but if the Players' Club could be induced to stage a one-act play, and if a
little local colour could be infused into the Orpheum acts, the evening, with
the help of a few college yells and
songs, would probably "go over." In
this way Theatre Night might still be
enjoyed, without the students being
humiliated by the unoriginal and tasteless performances of their representatives. It is regrettable that at such
times we are unable to make a good
showing when we appear before the
public, and regrettable, too. that we are
unable to leave it with no better impression  than  that  of mediocritv.
^OMEN'S   LIT.
Mrs. Jamieson gave an interesting
talk to the eirls at the Women's Lit
on Wednesday, 6th. She spoke on
"The Spirit of the New Age" and
stressed the change in theory in re
lition. politics, economics and psychology, and took as the slogan of
the age; "Let man know and then
trust him" as contrasted with the
older one of "Teach man so that he
may do his duty." Mrs. Jamieson
quoted from H. G. Wells, G. B.
Shaw and others. In evolution she
spoke of the change from the mechanical forces of natural selection to
the idea of the life force working
through   the   individual.
She stressed the challenge of the
new age to the old—it's challenge to
narrow nationalism and above all its
demand for honesty and frankness.
This note she traced .through the field
of religion, speaking of the growth
of the new ethical religion of humanity, through politics, social life
and economics. She advocated the
need of applying psychology to economics, mentioning in this connection
Parker.   Berte,   Russel   and   others.
V      SONNET
With  Apologies to  A.   E.   B.
Alas!   my   love,  my  charms  must   die
with   thee.
Fond    lovers    yet    unborn    will    not
compare
Their   loved   ones'   beauties   with   my
own   so   fair.
For   though   all   graces   in   my    face
you   see
That   gave   sweet   Lizzy   to   eternity.
I'm    not    Petrolium    and    this    verse
will  die
'Ere  age  has  dimmed  my  beauty.     (),
my  eye.
Or death  destroyed  my   features'  harmony.
My    loveliness    holds    thee    in   deeper
spell
Than   Billy   over   Gussie;   but   to   tell
Of    this    I    need    his    gift    of    poesy.
(Note   its   absence.)
But   Love   'tis   better   so;    for   though
'tis   wrong
And     selfish,     I    would'st     have    my
charms   belong
Not  to the world  but  only unto  thee.
Earn  Extra
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Any Orchestra will he  delighted to play them
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THE      UBYSSEY
Tango—Fox Trot
In two
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Iiessons
than vou
believe
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Beginners may start any time,
forenoon, afternoon ana evening-.
Class dance Friday, 8 p.m., 50c.
Winners of ftnd personally presented with RUDOLPH VALENTINO Oance Trophy for being
Vancouver's best instructors and
dancers.
Vaughn Moore
PRIVATE   DANCING   SCHOOL
518 Hastings West Sey. 707
EVANS & HASTINCS
Better Quality
PRINTERS
We make a specialty of:
College Annuals
Magazines
Ball  Programmes
Etc., Etc.
Students would do well to give
us a call before going elsewhere
578 Seymour St.
PHONE SEY. 189
Get  Your  Next
HAT  or     CAP
at
LINFORTH'S
Formerly
RICHARDSON   &   POTTS
417 Granville St.
MADAM E. VERONA
Is giving free teacup readings
with afternoon tea.
Palm and card readings with
evening dinners, at
PURDY'S
The  home  of the  famous
Chocolates
Purdy's
675.Granville Street
^PMwe&fi&ni&Me e
This column is maintained for the use
of students and others who wish to express themselves on any topic &£ gen
ural interest. The Ubyssey does not as-j
sume responsibility for any of the views
expressed.
All contributions must be written
legibly, in ink, on one side of the paper
only. They must not exceed two hundred words in length, and must reach
this office not later than noon Monday,
in order to appear in the issue of the
following Thursday.
*
RE   X.   Y.   Z.
Kdilor   "Uliy.ssey.
I H-nr Sir:—it would appear from your
editorial last week that you or your
statt' had "Kot scared" and "hacked
down" ahout the "i'ep Hand." [t was,
i helieve. a member of the Editorial
.Stall' who so unsportinKly sinned his
name  X. .V.   '/...   Arts   '27.
Although 1 "admire" the Kditorial
Staff very much. 1 will offer this criticism to sliow the student body what kind
of  "men"  are on  the  Editorial  Staff.
A   freshman   takes   his   example   from
either a junior or senior,  so  1  will do so
too, and  won't  sign  my name.
Yours,
"BACKING-DOWN."
.Mat.   '27.
(Editor's Note — We appreciate the
above vivid pen-picture of the Editorial
Staff. l/nfortunately the letter loses a
Kieat deal of its "kick" owing to the
I act X. Y. Z. was not and is not a member of  tlie  Editorial   Staff.)
^i.
GOVERNOR'S   CUP.
IOdilor   L'byssey.
Dear Sir:—The Governor's Cup Competition is a larce. The athletes that take
part in it. and the officials that conduct
it. regard it as an ordeal that has to be
gone through annually. Where are the
wildly excited spectators that are supposed to get such a kick out of if.' Not
at the rugby or soccer games certainly.
Those who have tried to line teams up
know what a hard job it is. Such events
as the track meet are different, they
derive their interest from themselves,
not because they are in the Governor's
Cup   competition.
One of the arguments put forward by
enthusiasts is that "new" material is developed for our teams. To my knowledge none of our football or basketball
teams have derived any material from
this source, but some of them have had
a number of their players crippled in
interclass games so that they couldn't
play against outside teams. It is the
same old bunch that go in for everything, from rugby to badminton, and it
is manifestly unfair to the athlete himself that he should be called upon by his
class to ditch labs, in order to defend
the "honor" of his class whem perhaps,
his academic record is already suffering
by his upholding of the University's
suit us   in   outside   competition.
J heard some criticism being leveled at
the soccer team for their refusal to take
part in interclass soccer. Personally, 1
think the soccer club showed their College spirit by not participating in the
inter-class games, they have more competition than they know what to do with
in the Vancouver League. Herein might
be a solution to the inter-class games, if
each class were awarded a scale of
points according to the merits of the
sport and the team that their athletes
were on and these athletes not be called
UMon to play in the interclass games.
Then   we   would   know   the   best  athletic
year   and   also   new   material   would   be
developed.
Some such measure as this must be
adopted or the Governor's Cup competition must be abolished. As it is being
conducted at present it is a pure waste
of time.
Yours in the best interest of Sport,
LES  UUrTTtiEY, Agric.   25.
S.  C.  M.  AO-AIN.
Editor  ■j'E'bygyey."
Dear ISiT:—This S. C. M. question,
raised in your columns, would seem -to
require a little clearing up. and I offer
this as a contribution. The trouble lies,
I am convinced, in a very confused conception of the nature of the S. C. M. on
the part of the majority of the students.
The first writer on this subject in
your last issue, spoke on behalf of those
who "do not Haunt their opinions brazenly before the world." Such a Haunting of opinions is not the purpose of
the S. C. .\I. It is merely a group of
indents trying to help each other in
their search for religious truth. We
know that many of the great souls of
the past have lound the highest truth
on the mountain-tops of lonely meditation, but we are not all such .great souls,
and 1 would point out that their truest
greatness was in this, that they came
down from their mountain-tops to help
the    rest   of   us.
The same writer accuses you of a
"confusion of theological orthodoxy with
true religion." I would like to warn her
against confusing theological orthodoxy
with the aim of the S. C. M. It aims
chielly to find "the supreme revelation
of God and the means to the full realization of lift-," and though it suggests that this may be found "in Jesus
Christ," and seeks it there, it does not
attempt to prevent its members from
looking elsewhere. It seeks first the
truth, whether or not this accords With
that "religious orthodoxy" towards
which there is such "an antipathy that
is in harmony with the foremost thought
of   the   time."
Yours    sincerely.   ,■
JOHN.  E.  CrtBBARD.
V       Arts   '24.
REGARDING-  CONFERENCE.
Editor "Ubyssey."
Dear Sir:—Some of us are pern
to know why, in one of the letters that
appeared in your last issue. th^S. C. My'
was thrust into prominence aaVprobjibfy
willing- to "accuse the whole/Lrn4v£rsity
of religious apathy or bigoted atheism."
1 do not think any member of the organization any more than yourself, Mr.
Editor, would consider this statement
as describing the attitude of students towards religious matters. What members do regret, however, is that of all
those against whom such an accusation
would lie an injustice, so few availed
themselves of what the organization
tried  to do at the recent conference.
Unfortunately the S. C. M. appears to
suffer from a distasteful connotation,
but surely it is not thought by any one
that it makes the same travesty of religion as the street-corner enthusiast,
or is insincere when inviting discoverers of pure and true religion to make
their intelligence known, close acquaintance with the nature and aims of the
organization would. I am sure, "clear
mi" any misunderstanding. As to the
efforts "and worth of the S. C M. It
seems to me that it is much needed in
a commuuity where so many think you
must either subscribe to the creed of
some back-alley mission, or take yourself, bag and baggage, out of Christianity entirely.
Yours   truly.
FREDERICK   J.   BRAND.
Arts   '24.
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028 BaoiDwiT Wan THE     UBYSSEY
Feb. 14th, 1924
______—_________—
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B. C.   ELECTRIC
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COTILLION HALL
SEY. 3058-O or SEY. 101
VARSITY  vs.   VICTORIA
il (Continued from Page 1)
/'
floor. He was quick, and always there
to receive the pass. The visiting
guards played an excellent game, intercepting many passes. Stan Arkley
and Gross played a good game for
Varsity.
The exhibition game between Varsity Senior B and Crescents was prob-
abiy-trre"SesFone of the~evening. At
half-time the score was 11—8 in favour of Crescents. In the second period Varsity crept up until the score
was 16—17 against them. Then Heilly
Arkley, the crippled captain, sent on
Arnold Henderson at centre. The
Crescents were about all in, and within three minutes Varsity had scored
ten points, and at full time the score
was 28—19.
The teams were:
Victoria College Girls—J. Musgrave,
French, F. Musgrave, Bennett, Ross.
Varsity Senior A—Russell (2), Robinson (4), Mackinnon (2), Swencisky
(3),  Shorney.
Varsity Intermediate A—Arkley (2),
Gross (4), Galloway (2), Schultz (4),
Matthews,  Gordon   (4).
Victoria College—McLean (2), Both-
well (12), Olson (1), McCann (4).
Foubister  (6), Rhodes.
Crescents—McBride (2), McLean
(8), Olsen (4), Bantam (5), Miller,
McLean.
Varsity Senior B—Hemingway (5),
Newby (10), H. Henderson (10), Gill,
McKay   (3),  A.  Henderson.
FALLIS SPEECH
(Continued  from  Page  1)
by the example of the educated young
people of today.
Before offering these solutions of
the problem, Col. Fallis traced the
history of the world-peace movement
from its humble beginnings of a century ago, amongst the Quakers and
similar organizations, through to the
present day. The movement had received a setback by that reaction of
the last two decades which had culminated in the tragic conflict of 1914-
18. Since then the pendulum had
again swung back to the side of peace,
so that today there were probably
more thinking people interested in the
campaign for world tranquility than
ever before. The League of Nations,
(hough certainly not perfect, at least
represented the highest concrete evidence of the work of this movement.
The serious difficulties in connection with the problem were treated.
These were four-fold: the "thug"
spirit of preparing for war in times
of peace, the popular fallacy that war
was a biological necessity, the false
romantic appeal of fighting, and the
imperial dogma of "what we have we
hold." found in other national policies
besides that of Britain.
Some of the imperative reasons why
an earnest and immediate attempt
should be, and was being, made to
bring about world peace were dealt
with. Briefly these fell under the
headings of economic waste, loss of
human life, the inefficacy of war as a
permanent means of settling disputes,
and the destruction of irreplaceable
works of art. Col. Fallis supported
his arguments in a convincing manner
by apt statistical references.
Man   wants  but   little  here   below,
But  when it comes to dress,
A walk abroad will quickly show-
That woman  wants, still less.
Literary Corner
 jL	
~\~/k
NVOLUTION
To-night  I'll  leave  the  gate  unguarded-
To-morrow I shall grow tame ag«tin;
Only to-night—e'en now I hear
The crying of the coyotes near.
1 yearn with them to race across the
plain,
Shadowing the moon-shaken  shadows
on the sward,
Leaping the Caning briars,
Wading through waves of corn.
Feasting on fearful prey
With the pack before the morn.
O then to drink with my blood-stained
mouth
From  the  clear,  fresh  stream  of  the
hills,
0 then to rise to the highest rock
And cry aloud with my sheer delight
Till the echoing valley fills!
1 cannot   wind   back   to   the   waking
town,
Though the wild night wans and pale
pink clouds
Like the long arms of Day would fain
sweep me away,
From   the   crest   of   the   hills   that   I
crown.
THEATRE    NIGHT.
Theatre Night (which is set for Feb.
28th) will take on a new meaning if
plans for linking it up with the Campaign go through. "Brick" McLeod
and Hughie Russell have been appointed as a committee to inject some
Campaign propaganda into the annual
Varsity "show-nite." Students with
suggestions for improving Theatre
Night along these lines are asked to
get in touch with either members of
this committee. In the meantime come
to Friday's pep meeting, hear some
more about Theatre Night, and, incidentally practise up some peppy songs
for the affair.
"INTERMEDIATE    RUGBY
Victoria College ruggers suffered a
6—5 defeat at the hands of Varsity's
intermediates last Saturday in a closely contested game at Brockton Point,
as a curtain raiser to the Tisdall Cup
final. Phillips scored Varsity's first
try early in the first period, when he
dashed over from a five-yard scrum.
Seymour added three more points
when he crossed following a throw-in
near the line.
Mathewson of the Victoria boys
scored the try for the visitors early
in the second half, when he received
the ball at centre and outdistanced
everyone for the feature play of the
game. McLean kicked from an easy
angle and added the two points for the
convert. During the rest of the half
no further score was made.
x     j-rbcKEY
The Varsity Hockey Team played
the University of Washington team
to a draw last Wednesday, the score
being two all. The game was closely contested throughout, and was
fought before a considerable number of Varsity rooters. After the
game a free skating session was enjoyed  by the rooters.
D
ancing
556  Granville   St.
Vancouver,  B.  C
Spring
HATS
FOR
"The   College  Girl"
Certainly the "College Girl"
is always among the first to
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Because Sommer's Ltd. are
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Miss," they are showing models,
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Imported   Hats from $9.50
"It    eosts    no    more    to
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University of Manitoba
HUDSON'S BAY COMPANY
RESEARCH FELLOWSHIP
The above fellowship, of the
annual value of .$1,500.00, tenable at the University of Manitoba, in any branch of pure or
applied science, open to graduates of any Canadian University, will be filled for 1924 about
May 1st. Applications should be
in the hands of the Registrar
of Manitoba University, Winnipeg, Manitoba, by April 1st.
Further particulars on application.    Address:
THE   REGISTRAR,
University  of  Manitoba,
Winnipeg, Manitoba
Boost Canada's
National    Game
CHARLTON & RATHBUN
Photographers and Miniature  Painters
2044   GRANVILLE   STREET
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PHONE   BAY.   176      -    VANCOUVER
Alexandra Dancing Academy
Wednesday and Saturday Evenings
Our   new   Augmented   Orchestra   ■playing   14
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THE     UBYSSEY
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Funeral  Directors
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Saturday Evening
Social Dance
LESTER COURT
<2V3
Private Lessons by Appointment
Sey. 1689
The Lester Academy
Holy  Smoke
Tobacco kings should never moan,
They  learn   the   ropes   when   the
leaves are ripe.
They   plug   along   as   they   roll   their
own,
The  lucky  guys  sure  have a  pipe
(corn   cob).
Alack,  alas!
My girl is gone.
1  feel forlorn—
I  lack a lass.
Professor—"Your last paper was
very difficult to read. Your work
should be written so that even the
most ignorant will be able to understand it."
Student—"Yes, sir. What part didn't
you understand?"
Mucklets
guy   that   won't
The   editor   is   one
always take a joke.
*     *     *
Where    did    the   co-eds   get
handsome looking corn cobs?
thos
fr\lk\frv
ACCIDENTS WILL HAPPEN
"I placed an electric fan beside my
bed on a hot night. While asleep I
put  my  foot  on  it."
"I was embraced by a friend, who
playfully said that he could make me
cry.  and  fractured  my   rib."
"I was riding in an automobile when
it struck a hole in the road, causing
my tf">.h to come together with such
force I hat my lower jaw was fact-
ured."
_—^  ^>*_ ^n ■
Prof,   (to student entering ten minutes  late)—"When  were  you  born?"
Stude—"April  second."
Prof.—"Late again."
^*^~^*^f^T*
"How did you enjoy your ocean voyage?"
"Dunno.    I made the trip by rail."
What this world needs is less permanent   waves   and   more   permanent
wives.
* *    *
We don't know whether he makes
both ends meet or not, but the barber
generally   manages  to  scrape  along.
* *    *
The only difference between a freshman and a woodpecker is that a woodpecker uses his head.
* *    *
We understand High Jinks was held
the   same   night   as   the   smoker,   but !
we  won't  print  a list  of those  males
who missed the smoker.
p* V J*' ^.1" V"
HEARD  AT  THE   GAME
"Why didn't Buck  try a kick?"
"Dunno, maybe he took the pledge."
"What do you mean?"
"Promised   never  to  touch  another
drop."
T^y^n*T*
She—"Do you believe in betting?"
He—"Petting?"
She—"No, betting."
He—"Oh, yes, I bet."
She—"You pet!"
He—"You   bet!"
Short Story Prof.—"Picture to me
the lonesomest situation you can conjecture."
Student—"Well, about the lonesomest thing I know of would be a safety
razor in Russia."
DAYS
Starting
Wed. Nig-ht,
GRPHfUH \ CIRCUIT VAUDEVILLE
MATINEES—THURSDAY—FRIDAY—SATURDAY |==
LA   FIEU3   8c   PORTIA: The Human Top and  Incomparable Equilibrist     =
VAUGHN COMFORT
Thr  Aim-rirnn   Tenor
PEPITO
Tlie   Spanish   Clown.
Ed.—HICKEY—Tom
Two   Ele.nant   deiitlemen
JIMMY LUCAS & CO.       M
"Vampires   and   Fools"
lewis & Gordon WELLINGTON   CROSS
Present
Uy Ed.srar Selwin In
"Anything lli.-vht  Happen"—A  Four-Scene Comedy
Frae' the Land o* the Heather and the Highlands of Scotland
JACK WYATT & HIS
SCOTCH  LADS & LASSIES
In "Kilts and Tartars" — Hoot Mon!
ATTRACTIVE PICTURES CONCERT   ORCHESTRA
II
Dancing Shoes
Ladies'    Black    Satin    Strap
Pump*,  with  low  heels	
 $5.45
Men's  Patent Dress Oxfords
and   Court   Shoes $6.00
Bootwear   For   Every   Occasion
10'v Discount to Students on
presentation  of  this  ad.
D
WILSON'S
Twin Shoe Stores
157-159 Hastings Street West
NEW  CREATIONS  IN  SHIRTS
Just   Arrived
Bombay Cords
Nifty   Patterns
$2.65
Wear a Mann's shirt built to
a standard of quality and not
to a price.
Mann's Men's Wear
Specialty  Shops
411-474 Granville St.
RADIO
SETS
PARTS
LOUD SPEAKERS
Drop  in  and  ask for our
new price list.
RADIO CORPORATION OF
VANCOUVER, LIMITED
Sey. 3814    605 Dunsmuir s - VOTE  YOUR   CAUTION   MONEY
CLUBB-STEWART
LIMITED
Big Shipment of the
Celebrated
20th Century
Clothing for
Young Men
Just opened up
at Special Prices
Clubb & Stewart
LIMITED
309-315 Hastings  Street
QUALITY
PRINTING
Invitations
Dance Programmes
Announcements
Printing  for all
the Social Functions
of  the School
Term
Th.
Sun Publishing Co.,
Limited
Printing Department
137   PENDER    STREET,   WEST
Patronize Canada's finest Barber Shop. We have 18 chairs and
specialize in Ladies' Hair Bobbing
as well as Manicuring.
The  ROGERS  BUILDING
WM.  BRENNAN,  Proprietor
464 Granville  St.      Phone  Sey.  7858-0
"Down the Marble Stairs"
Club. He just looked straight ahead
of him and said yes, they might, but
it was pretty hot stuff just the same.
I asked him if he didn't thin they
were beautiful girls, and he said yes,
he thought they were much prettier
than the two fellows that had acted
just before them. Anyway, Gussie,
Billy said he thought it was the best
part of the whole program, and Billy
] always knows best.
Hang it all, there's the bell and I've
got a lecture in Philosophy. Goodbye Gussie. I'll tell you some more
about  it   in church  next   Sunday.
GIRLS'/TRACK  CLUB.
GUSHES to GUSSIE
Leonora at the lArts Smoker
By ZIP
Oh Gussie. Gussie. I had the most,
wonderful time imaginable last Friday night. You'd never guess where
I was, Gussie. No it wasn't High
Jinks, it was the Arts Smoker, and
Billy took me. You see, first of all I
was going to take Billy to High Jinks
with me. I got him all dressed up in
a girl's dress and everything so that
you'd never guess he was a boy—unless you looked at his feet. I couldn't
find a pair of girl's shoes there big
enough to fit him. Billy has awful
big feet. Anybody that looked at his
feet would have known that he was
a boy so we had to give the whole
thing up.
Anyway. Gussie. Billie said that seeing he couldn't go to High Jinks with
me he'd take me to the smoker. At
first I didn't know whether I really
ought to go. but Billy said it was the
right thing to do, and Billy always
knows best, so I decided I would. As
soon as I said I'd go Billy went and
got me one of his old suits and a pair
of his boots, and I put them all on.
It was a lot. easier for me to get into
his boots than it. w~as for him to get
into mine. I got a skull cap and put
it on over my hair, and when I was
finished. Gussie, you would have sworn
that I was a boy. And then we went,
to the Smoker.
Gussie. it was wonderful. As soon
as all the fellows had finished trying
to smoke their corn-cob pipes (Billy
sucked a whole box of matches
through his), some of the Profs, got
up on a table and started telling the
most wonderful stories you ever
heard. First of all, Professor Hal
got up and told us one about "II
Echappe." Dr. Ashton is going to explain the point of it at our next
French lecture. When Prof. Hal
was through Dr. Winston got up on
the table and gassed for ten minutes
about seasick Scotchmen trying to
swear in French.
But Oh. Gussie, Gussie, the next
professor that got up on the table
was the cutest, dearest, sweetest,
lovliest little one of them all. I think
I'm going to get a crush on him. He
told us a story about a man who had
worked for a farmer all day, and was
paid three little nickles for his
trouble.    "I  can  read  your character
LIONEL WARD  _ COMPANY.   LTD..<^
The Girls' Track Club, which was
formed this year, has commenced
practising for the track meet which
is to be held on March 12. formerly
only participated in by the men.
As this is the first year that the
girls have undertaken any part in the
meet, it is hoped that it. will prove
very successful, and that the Athletic
Representatives will get the girls to
turn out. for practices. The events decided upon so far are: Dashes, high
jumping, throwing the basketball and
the relay  race  for the Arts '25 Cup.
LOST
Leather Covered Notebooks. Return
to Mr. Harry Gutteridge or to Publications   Office.
by these nickles," said the man. "Do
it," said the farmer. "By the first
nickel," replied the man, "I know you
are a Scotchman; by the second I ,
know you are a bachelor; and by the j
I bird I know that your father was a
widower." Isn't that killing, Gussie?
Oh yes, and he told us another one
about Mr. Gladstone, and what happens to the poor bald headed people in
Turkey.
Do you know, Gussie, I didn't like
the next part of the program one bit,
it wasn't like the first part of the program, it was too rough. But Billy
said that, as tar as roughness went, it
didn't have anything on the first part,
and Billy always knows best. You
see. Gussie, they had some of those
Jew- Gypsy Japs fighting in the ring,
and I was sure they were going to
hurt each other. I wanted Billy to
go and separate them, but he said he
didn't think he'd better. Billy always
knows best, so I didn't say anything
more about it.
As soon as that rough stuff was
through, Gussie, they had a Pantages
skit from one of the shiekiest men
you ever saw. He played a mouth-
organ and he extracted the most
delicious sounds imaginable from it.
I'd far sooner hear him than I would
Heifetz. When he had finished with
the mouth-organ, he played the piano
and tried to sing a heartrending song
about the Titantic. But tlie poor man
couldn't sing so he talked it  instead.
The bagpipes came next. Oh, t.ney
were alright, Gussie, but after that
heavenly music on the mouth-organ
they sounded pretty flat. The bagpipers got exhausted after a while
and two real niggers from the Pan
came and had an argument in front
of us. They were awfully funny, even
though they did get mad at each
other. Do you know, Gussie, by the
accent that one of them talked with,
I think he must have been a Negro
Jew; just the same as there are Russian Jews and  Irish Jews,  you know.
Oh Gussie, Gussie. I'll bet you can't
guess what—. no I mean who came
next? Well, I'll tell you. Two beautifully dressed girls from the Pan ran
out and danced and sang to us. I said
to Billy that I thought the poor things
must find it pretty cold in the Rowing
It's not how
many games
you get into
but the one's
you play well
that count.
4»
Lisle Fraser
Sporting Goods
1020 Granville Street
Wholesale and Retail
Attention University Ladies
By merely mentioning this advertisement and date in your
weekly paper you may have for
one  week  from  date  of  issue.
Regular $1.95 for
Regular  85c.  for
Vanitv Purses.
$1.50.
Vanity   Purses.
tioe.
Silk and Wool Hose. Regular
$1.35 for $1.10. Colors: Black,
Brown and White, Polo and
White, Grey and White, Black and
White.
Miss J. EMSLIE
695   BROADWAY   WEST
Phone Fairmont 724
»PR1NT_R»,  31*  HOMER  ST..  VANCOUVER,   ».  C.

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