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UBC Publications

UBC Publications

The 432 Oct 11, 2000

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11 OKTOBER 2000
In this issue:
and so much more.,
"Technological progress in like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal/
—Albert Einstein
South Campus Vapourized in
TRIUMF Nuclear Accident
No more ACFs for 14,000 years. SOTW signed for 1409th ACF.
CP, Vancouver
The campus of the university of British
Columbia was halved late Sunday night
as a suspected nuclear accident in TRIUMF has obliterated the entire Southern half
of campus. The blast, felt as far away as the
barrens of the Yukon, obliterated everything
in the blast radius, which reached as far north
as room 155 in the Macmillian Building.
UBC administration has now admitted that
there was a secret nuclear weaponry testing
laboratory in the basement of the facility that
remained hidden from student eyes under the
guise of a particle physics research laboratory.
The secretive nuclear testing lab had reportedly been operating for 6 years without incident. However, this impeccable safety record
ended with a blast that destroyed billions of
dollars worth of research and equipment. The
death toll from South Campus is still climbing
and, at press time, had reached over 1,200
frosh and frosh-like students in the Totem
Residences; 900 non-frosh students in the
Thunderbird Residences; roughly 10 miscellaneous nuclear technicians, evil mastermind
Fidel Goldfeld; his henchman Jorgie, and
British secret agent James Bond.
UBC President Martha Piper, trying in vain
to distract attention away from the devastating
blast with stories about her early-life bed wetting problems, finally conceded that, "It turns
out that we never had a cyclotron under all
those blocks after all. Maybe we should have
been tipped off by the fact that [the scientists
in TRIUMF] were able to turn a $400 million
profit per year from theoretical research. To
prevent a similar accident, all research on the
UBC campus, practical and theoretical, will
cease immediately.''
The Arts Undergraduate Society, completely
unaware of the blast due to the large distance
between the Arts section of the campus and
TRIUMF, and the large amount of acid they
were dropping at the time, were informed by
UBC Administration that they would be
unable to hold another Arts County Fair for
the next 14,000 years. Local band Spirit of the
West has signed an exclusivity contract to be
cryogenically frozen until the year 16001,
when they will be thawed and headline the
upcoming festival with as of yet unannounced
special guests. Tickets for the spectacular
event are now available at Ticketmaster.
In a surprising turn of events, Irish rock band
U2 has flown into Vancouver International
Airport to do a benefit concert for the survivors of the blast. "It's our responsibility as
human beings to help the poor children of
West Point Grey," said Bono, lead singer of
the band and leather pants model. "Seeing the
devastation of the vast, windswept plains of
Russia makes it even more worthwhile."
When asked by 432 staff if he was not confusing the UBC nuclear explosion with that in
Chernobyl Russia in the 1980's, Bono was
hustled out of the press conference by his handlers.
Reaction has been mixed to the news that the
province's academic and research hub had
been blown to its constituent atoms and the
surrounding land, air and water poisoned with
nuclear waste. Erich Vogt, former head of the
TRIUMF facility, was spending some time in
Montreal when reached for comment. "It is
indeed unfortunate that the whole building
exploded, taking UBC with it. Such a thing
would never have happened when I was the
director of the program. Now, of course, this
opens up the way for my new cyclotron program in McGill to flourish, and get those
'government' dollars that UBC kept getting,
riding on my laurels. Construction on the
cyclotron under the old Montreal Expo site
beings next Tuesday."
Prime Minister Jean Chretien was apparently
'annoyed' that the investment of so many federal tax dollars had been lost in the explosion.
"'Ere we 're, in the twenty-first century, an'
all of dos' neutrions and electrions 'ave blow
all over de Vancouver, poison de land and de
air. 'Ow can we 'ave our Liberal fundraising
dinners anymore?" Prime Minister Chreiten
asked at a recent press conference in Ottawa,
far away from the desolation and anarchy that
has swept the streets of Vancouver. "Aye
guess aye will 'ave to go to de home of dat
water-ski riding freak, Stockwell Day instead.
Aye 'ope aye an not allergic to da cows,"
Professors in the field of nuclear science
across the globe are quite excited about the
prospect of studying the effects of the blast on
local vegetation and animals. "With the news
of wheat in Russia being mutated from the
nuclear blast of Chernobyl, this is great!"
exclaimed Professor George Chapman of the
University of Calgary. "We've always wanted
to see the effects of such a huge nuclear explosion, but weren't allowed due some stupid
health and safety regulations. Now we get to
see what happens, and plus the money doesn't
get taken out of my research grant! It's a safety thing!"
Simon Fraser University is expected to take
in the now-schooless UBC students who were
not irradiated by the TRIUMF blast. "Now
you see why SFU is built from three feet thick
concrete," said newly appointed SFU head
architect Michael Kingsmill, formerly of the
AMS. "Nothing gets through concrete, baby."
GM Tomato Eats
X   vjon   THE   LoTTep.Y'.*
Reuters, Stanford, CA
The rapidly expanding field of genetic
modification of commercial foods was
turned on it's ear late last Friday night.
Dr. Irving P. Holly, a renounded leader in
GM research, was eaten by a tomato he had
been working on.
The results of genetic manipulation of foods
often have unpredictable results. In this case
the results were fatal as a batch of common
tomatoes which Dr. Holly had reportedly
transfected with African Lion (Pathera leo)
DNA, took on the carnivorous characteristics
of the alien DNA.
Dr. Holly was working late in the lab when
the tomatoes became motile and communally
hunted and killed their creator.
Const. Jeff Mall issued an official press statement today, "Blood and ketchup were everywhere. We'll have to do a DNA test to figure
out which is which, or we can just taste ."
Several of the tomatoes escaped through an
open window into the nearby Stanford university fair, where sweet and unassuming children were playing on the many rides. The
jovial scene quickly became one of carnage
and destruction as the marauding herd of fruits
attacked nearly at will until campus police
arrived and promptly squashed the tomato
"He really loved tomatoes," his grad student
Denise Kilarhey cried in front of the camera.
Dr. Mort Feildman, Holly's fellow Stanford
faculty member, reacted to the death with initial shock, but then brightened at the opportunity for a unique research opportunity. 'This is
so interesting. There is so much research that
should be done on these Tomato Lions. Are
they animal, vegetable, or slime-mold? Is
there a communal structure, did the Alpha-
tomato feed first? Can they be domesticated?
What traits do they use as basis for sexual
selection? How much CK One could they consume before half the subjects die? We must
create more and study them for the betterment
of human-kind."
Dr. Fieldman is rumoured to be building
research complex on an island off of Costa
Rica, to study the new fruit-beasts in a contained environment. Page Two
11 Oktober 2000
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Roq!
Volume Fourteen
Issue Three
11 Oktober 2000
Head Bitch
Bree Baxter
bmonique@interchange. ubc.ca
Demi Bitch
Andy Martin
Bitchettes (ate the pizza)
Dan Anderson
The Pizza Guy
Miykao Hewett
Andy Martin
Carol Radford
Kat Scotton
Ben Warrington
Printed by
College Printers, Vancouver, BC
Minor Whiners
Dan Anderson
Bree Baxter
Byron Bussey
Timothy Chan
Andy Martin
Ajay Puri
Kat Scotton
Sara Stamm
Reka Sztopa
Ben Warrington
Web Sites
Legal Information
The 432 is published too fucking
often from the basement of the
Chemistry Building, soon to be the
basement of the Hennings building.
The 432 is the official publication of
the Science Undergraduate Society.
All views expressed in this issue
are strictly those of the individual
writers, and as such are not the
responsibility of The 432, The Science Undergraduate Society, or the
Faculty of Science. Writers and cartoonists are encouraged to submit
their material to The 432. Submissions must meet the requirements
of making the editor chuckle thrice,
and contain the author's name and
contact information.
God bless Andy Martin and his ill-
timed comments about Poland.
Have a fun day, people! I know I
Go play outside!
Fold the paper up and burn it!
Fire good!
Dan Anderson
Scary Like Cheddar!
The artsies are gaining. Seriously. Look
at the AUS - they actually organized
(and that means they had conscious
thought!) a campaign and referendum to get
more social space. Now, I'm all for more
social space. It's right front and centre in Trek
2000 as a priority to get more social space for
all UBC students. Heck, the Cheese is getting
old (and green?) and I'm sure they wouldn't
mind the money (or materials, they _are_
geers, after all) for a new
pop/beer/vodka/moonshine/handi-nap dispenser, and maybe some form of cleaning supply. Please, for those of us who aren't used to
it. A lot of clubs would love furniture that didn't come from the reject bin out back of Value
Village . AUS, well, for as many students as
they have, I'll admit that they could use a bigger office, though A260 (that loungie thing,
where they have their beer gardens -1 think its
260) is huge enough as it is, especially with the
coffee/snack/strip bar they have set up there.
Education has decent space, nothing special
that I've seen mind you, but it's nice. I'm sure
they'd love some more, though. As a matter of
fact, I think the only faculty with enough
social space is commerce - but if you (or your
overpowering, all-seeing and all paying parents) were shelling out $265 in student fees a
year, you'd damn well want someplace to figure out your net worth during the ten minutes
between Micro and Macroeconomics^ too.
And then there's Science. But more on that
wonderful subject later.
So, what are we all doing about this woeful
state of existance, where social space for a faculty of 6000 is the size of a broom closet, give
or take a mop and bucket or two? Sitting on
our asses, for the most part. Arts, "legions of
sloth and woebegotten mindlessness"^ that
they may be, still got around to holding a referendum that will cost them a whopping $6 a
year per student ("oh, no!" cry the frosh,
"That's a night's worth of Dance Dance Revolution! What will I do on Thursday, November 19, from 4:29 to 6:12? I'd better mark that
in pink highlighter as study time in my agenda!!!"). And how much will this $27,000 a
year get them? A whole shitload. Gee, just the
main floor of Buchannan D, after all. It only
cost a/ew million to build that building, after
all. Actually, this could lead to good results -
"Hey guys, we want to put this 16 meter by 8
meter expressionist painting of a duck standing
on it's head in here. We think it should go...
riiiiiight... here. Perfect. So, can you help us
take out those ugly beams and walls and pipes
and stuff? They're, like, totally in the way."
The engineers never took into account the possibility of the artsies removing the walls and
support beams, did they? Huh? Still, arts is
one up on us. SUS is moving, for all those of
you who haven't been reading the 432 or dropping by enough. Sucks to be us. You know
we're moving into a closet? What's more, a
closet between two bathrooms. I'd suggest
against using either one - odds are there will be
peep cams in both by the time a week has gone
by with us next door. We're 'friendly' neighbours, is all. Trek 2000 - more space, remember? Uh-uh. Closets and solvents and soap
suds, oh my!
So where the hell is this going? (I just asked
that! -paraphrased Carol R) Well, it is clear
that there are only three options. One: kill the
artsies. All the artsies. Then take their buchannan buildings and use them as pool halls, pubs,
and jaccuzzi rooms. This would be great,
except that we should really be happy for the
artsies and try not to despise them for their
good fortune (and/or candy bribery). Two: kill
the administration in a bloody mass eradication
and run amok scattering add/drop forms and
opt out sheets everywhere, (mmm, blood...
oh, yeah...) Oh, wait... sorry about letting the
daydream slip in there. Third (and most likely
to occur because of the squeaminshness of the
general population here - hey guys, gonna be a
doctor? Get used to slipping - aka fucking up -
with your scalpel and killing people already!
Start soon, practice often!) - uh, but yeah,
third: we could basically do the same thing as
the artsies. Come, revolt! If we get a majority vote, we can pull an Arts, and take over
math and math annex. No-one really uses
them, (fuckdamnshithell - Ben W.) The math
classes are mostly in Buchanan anyways. Just
because the math buildings are old and
decrepit and ignored doesn't mean that we
don't want them! Our couches are old and
decrepit too, and we still love them dearly
(though we try not to sit in the off-coloured
parts). Get off your collective asses and... oh,
who am I trying to kid. Keep on being apathetic sheep. It'll get you exactly where you're
destined to go - you'll have a suburban house
with 2.42 kids, an SUV and no soul. And all
because you had nowhere to sit and down a
brew between classes! Of course, there's
always option one... mmm, dead artsies...
And above all, when in doubt, fishie.
1) This is not intended to cause people to look
down upon physsoc, geography club, or any
other club that got it's couches from beside
the dumpster outside value village. ok, maybe
it is. no hard feelings, right? please don't
make gravity and
2) "Hey! It took me 12 minutes! Are you making
fun of me for being slow? it's not my fault my
parents are forcing me into a program i
detest!" - John Chu
3) The nEUSpaper, volume 6, issue 2, page 4,
paragraph 2 of article 2 on said page, sentence
1, WORDS 6 TO 15.
Bree Baxter
Bitter Woman
you! ^oj' suto\^.
Lost Her Computer
fvr 4Ae  p>l  ^eJLc / ^A. VU f*ii*-t
cW  U«A ... T vvk  -HeA
)\SUUf   £r*
Hey, are you sick of paying $1.45 for eight measly ounces
of coffee goodness? You'Te in luck! SUS is once again
having it's cheap cheap coffee! 50C will net you a cup of
coffee. You bring the cup, you pay the money, and everyone
is happy.
Starting Wednesday, September 27th at 8:30 am in SUS.
That morning and every morning!
(please bring quarters, we tike quarters)
(all proceeds to charity)
We may eventually
come to realize that
chastity is no more a
virtue than malnutrition.
-Alex Comfort 11 Oktober 2000
Page Three
Number of the Bee Beast
Ben Warrington
Crazy Bible Thumper
On Saturday, I put in a good day of
homework. On Sunday, my brain
rebelled, and I accomplished nothing.
It is the law of statistics; in the end everything
averages out. For everything wise that is written or spoken, a tonne of crap like this is
churned out. What does it really matter any-
way-pulp sells. People do not want to have to
think all of the time. I don't blame them; there
is a certain attraction in mindlessness from
time to time. That is probably why mind altering drugs-especially alcohol-are so popular.
That and the increased tendency of drunk people to have sex.
I have often wondered about the phrase,
"mind-altering drugs." Isn't that the definition
of "drug?" A mind altering substance? Ah,
screw it; what's the point?
It is midterm time already. In fact, I will have
already written (and quite possibly failed judging by the way my homework is going) two of
them by the time this goes to print. A long
time ago there used co be only one midterm in
each class. This, of course, resulted in everybody having to write five major tests all at the
same time. Then, some generous professor
took a look at this state of affairs and said,
"Lo, I will have two tests, one before and one
after the midterm period, to spread the stress
around a little." And so now, we each have
twice as many tests split into two sets of four
with one lonely test stuck in the middle by the
traditional prof just to prevent any hope of
regaining sanity between the two rounds. It is
great to be a student.
I mean it. It really is great to be a student. I
am having the time of my life. (Isn't that a
song from Dirty Dancing? I have never seen
the movie, but I used to have the soundtrack-
probably still do.) Okay, so I fail a test, or I
don't do my homework on time. What are they
going to do; fire me? It's not like real work.
Of course, nobody pays me for it either, but I
get to learn all sorts of cool stuff. I have found
that university is a place where my warped
mind actually pays off.
I don't know why, but this reminds me of a
conversation I once had with my grandmother.
She asked me if I were going to go into a
research for a living. I said that I really didn't
know, but I guessed it was a possibility. My
grandmother just cringed, and didn't say anything.
This brings up the question of what the hell
am I going to with my life? Some people I
know seem to agonize over this all of the time.
I cannot understand it myself. I have no clue
what I am going to do when (or if) I graduate.
I don't care. When I tell people that I am taking Astronomy, they look thoughtful and say
that it is interesting, and then they say,
"What's that good for?" I don't know. I don't
care. I find it interesting. In case you missed
the brochure, I am here to learn and to expand
my horizons and all that rot-not just to get a
good high paying job. Lots of money is nice,
but I would be just as happy getting a little
money for something that I would have done
anyway just for fun.
What about paying for my education? Isn't
that expensive as hell? Won't I need a high
paying job to pay for it? Well, I think those
things are a little peripheral to the point, but I
will say that it is only expensive if you have a
goddamn cell phone for which you have to
pay, a car that you have to maintain, a huge
honking stereo, and a big screen TV. You
know what? I don't own those things, and I am
not in debt. My TV cost me ten bucks at a
garage sale. That's right I actually have money
in the bank. Down with the tuition freeze.
Bring on the increases. I am happy to pay
more money if it means I get more options in
the classes I choose, and cooler toys to play
with in my labs. Hell, my tuition is already
$1000 less than my brother's, but I am beginning to think he might be attending the better
university. Sorry, I have insert my little right
wing political messages wherever I can.
Okay, I just checked the word count and it
was at 666. Of course, I have edited my article and added a lot, so that number will no
longer be correct, but it reminds me of one
night shift that I worked at CanAmera Foods.
The number 666 was showing up everywhere.
Fatty acid content of 0.0666g. Solids at
6.66%. You get the idea. It showed up about
five times over a twelve hour shift. Pure evil.
Speaking of evil, the SUS office is supposedly moving. We only sort of know where and
we only sort of know when, but it might happen yet.
Damn it, I'm out.
And how!
Randan black
r-eason other than to fill, this aMc^aid space.
What's the Deal
With UBC?
Sara Stamm
Respect is running rampant through campus
this year. For the first time ever, I am seeing
great respect and helpfulness from my fellow
students. In fact it's not just on campus that
people are being so nice, it's everywhere! I
just don't get it.
When I was in first year, I was consistently
lost while looking for some obscure classroom
in Room F in Wing U of building C of department P of, etc. Anyway, nobody would give
me two minutes to point me in the right direction. And there's no way anyone would ever
show me the way unless they were at gunpoint. Not a single person. Now people are
offering to walk me there, carry my bags,
open the door for me AND pull out my seat! I
love it, but I just don't get it.
You know how the Skytrain and the bus get
so crowded during peak hours? Well, in second year, I used to take transit, and when I
would step onto a crowded car or bus I would
get the nastiest glares all because I was crowding someone's space. I mean, get a life - we all
are just as cramped as you are. But I digress;
since the start of this school year I have never
had to stand on any transit, because people are
giving me their seats left and right. I even got
two seats once - one for me and one for my
backpack! Not only are people giving me their
seats, but I don't even have to push to get to
the door when it's my stop because people are
making way for me! Some will even hold the
door if they think it's going to close before I
get to it.
On those awful crowded escalators at malls
and skytrain stops, the hurriers will say excuse
me before barreling by, and even slow down
sometimes too! Those grumpy old men and
young mothers who never have the time for
anyone but themselves will hold doors and elevators for me. A guy in a wheelchair even
plowed a path through some crowd for me
You know how everybody seems to find any
excuse they can to cut in front of you in a long
line up? I seem to have a sign on my front that
says VIP or something, because I seem to be
able to pick any spot in line that I like, and
people in front of me are trying to get me
ahead of them too! Tellers are patient when
I'm digging through my pack, as well as the
people in line behind me, and they're all saying 'please', 'thank you', and 'if you like'.
I can't get any peace! All of a sudden human
beings are remembering the meaning of helpfulness and respect. They're all too freaking
nice! You see, it's never been like this before
and it all comes as a surprise. It's hard to get
used to.
My boyfriend even is doing it. Every night he
cooks me dinner and fetches and carries for
me. He does an abhorrently large portion of
the housework (for a male), drives me anywhere I'd like to go, and accommodates his
schedule for me! Guests in my house won't let
me offer them a drink, but instead insist on
pouring one for me - in my house!
If I go anywhere at all, at any time, people
are giving way for me and making time and
room for me. They're smiling, nodding, and
starting civil conversations.
It's kind of funny though, how every conversation is started off with, "So, how come
you're on crutches?"
Don't worry Sara. I'll be a bastard to you
any day if it'll make you feel better.
Byron Bussey
eing the 1st year transfer student that I am
I must take this space up to lament about
various things I've noticed around UBC.
Channeling Jerry Seinfeld t° the guy who rides the unicycie come on!
It's a unicycie for Pete's sake it's gotta be hard
enough to ride around with everyone looking at
you going "Hey look a unicycie guy... let's wait to see if he falls." If you want attention dye
your hair red, get one of those lying down bikes, and I think we have a compromise.
On the topic of bikes there is a hilarious bike attached to the Koerner Library bike rack. It has
no wheels, and it's all bent and rusted but is still locked to the rack. I just know some moron
lost his bikelock key one day and had to take the wheels off to make a little money back. If you
think about the story surrounding this it's really funny.
I was walking by Koerner and I gotta ask what's the deal with the hotdog guy? I see a 20 person line waiting to pay four dollars for a hotdog. This doesn't make one iota of sense... yeah
I'm forking out four dollars for a tube of intestines wrapped in a bun... oh wait you get onions
with it?!?!? Well then, that changes everything!!
I'm very picky with my toilets, I really need a good solid toilet one that doesn't fall over when
you sit on it... trust me I've been to Surrey. What I wanna know is what's with the graffiti in
the stalls? How OLD ARE WE ANYWAYS? I mean I thought this would be left behind at High
School which I thought would of been left behind in Elementary School. How long does this go
on for?? I mean if I go take a dump at Microsoft perched on top of one of their gold plated toilets am I gonna read about "Bill Gates sucking cock for wooden nickels??"!
Okay to all you aspiring Steigligz's (Dennis Miller reference made to make me look smarter
than I really am), I think you need some photography lessons. Please do not take the vertical picture of the clock tower with you standing in front of it, I've seen people do this over ten times
in the first 4 weeks of school!! If you want to get a great picture load you car up with friends,
hammer a "Fuck the Police" sign on the back, and go ripping by a photo radar van with all your
asses hanging out the window! Pulitzer Prize material I'm telling you!!
To tell you the truth I've never been a huge fan of excessive "holding the door open" for other
people, if it conviences both people then fine. But the other day this girl held it open for me and
I was 20 feet away!!!! Now I've got to waste more energy running to get to the door than I would
of used up opening it my self. I'm not crippled, I don't have a walker or a Frankenstein foot
dragging limp, I might look like the Hunchback of Notre Dame but I can run a ten forty flat in
the wink of an eye. (I have no idea what that means).
Good night everybody! I'll be here all week... tell you friends!!
And a big round of applause for our last guest, all the way herefrom Newark Nunavat! Next
up at the Coconut Grove, welcome Martha Piper, a wonderful comedian out from those windy
hills and cow-chocked streets of Calgary!
Martha's only with us for a short time before she has to go back to her regular gig at the
UBC Board of Governors! Have you heard the tuition policy shtick? What a hoot!
Can you draw? At all? Any better than this?
Draw for the
ZZjm Page Four
11 Oktober 2000
Ramblings version 6.3
no grammer checker
w word i got staroffice to make my font
a all small, yo. now i can ramble on incoherently and see more words on the page,
i just got back from a Vancouver international
film fest screening - it was a series of shorts
about childhood from a whole bunch of different directors, it was great, and all Canadian,
it's 12:30am and i should actually try to go to
sleep, the words on the screen in front of me
are fuzzy, i think my eyes have gotten worse
over the last couple months, this is an experiment to see how stream of consciousness and
incoherent a 432 article can be and still get
printed, good thing i'm boning the d.o.p..
here's something i'm waiting for: like, tell
me if this makes sense.. when you hit a child
and cause them physical and emotional harm,
it's called child abuse and you can go to jail.
it's been proven that second hand cigarette
smoke causes all the damage that first hand
smoke does, only more, since most of it doesn't go through the filter first, here's my question: why isn't smoking in the same residence
as a child considered child abuse? why are
people still allowed to smoke on public property like sidewalks and parks that are near
schools? i'm waiting for the first lawsuit of
some asthmatic young adult against his or her
parents for what will be called environmental
child abuse, did your parents smoke? do you
find yourself impotent and dying of lung cancer and heart disease? sue their fucking asses!
so yeah i'm moving out with a friend, (see if
you can find out who! hint: if you read this
entire paper, you'll find the answer) trying to
find a place to live is unbelievably stressful, i
mean, this kind of stress is the kind that i've
never experienced before. i can handle
school, i've been here what will be 6 years, i
can handle my job and interviews and resumes
and stuff like that, i can't handle relationship
crap, but thankfully i haven't had to in a long
while,   but this is different, it's a brand new
kind of stress in my life, i can only deal with
it by staying up really late, typing out crap and
waiting for the anxiety to leave me.
i've been spending quite a few tuesdays and
thursdays in the sus office talking to people, i
try to hand them 432s and guides, they're
scared of me i think, i yell too much, maybe
i yell because they're not even talking, my
theory has always been that if i'm crazy
enough maybe people will come out of their
shells for just an instant and ... i don't know,
communicate, or something, why are people
from the same age group (first and second
years) so much more shy than they were when
i was just out of highschool? i'm taking a grad
class right now, and it's really sad. no one
talks, or asks questions, i can't remember the
last class i had where^fjeople actually talked
and asked questions and interacted with the
prof, i can't remember the last class i had with
fewer than 100 people... oh yeah, highschool.
a friend of goes to uvic. her classes are tiny,
she went on a field trip this weekend with 12
people, a prof and a t.a.. why is the demand
on ubc's undergrad programs so large? are the
people at other universities always so completely shocked when you single them out and
talk to them in their science students society
office? i don't think so. we're becoming soulless.
at least it's sunny, just wait until the monsoon season begins, then you'll see some
depressed-ass writing.
If I were a first year, I would be so scared
of mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm that I would
run for the hills. The reason that people are
so scared of him is that he's too fucking
enthusiastic for his own good. "Hey, you
want some candy!??" he screamed at first
years of all faculties back on Imagine UBC
(Does that stand for Imagine a University
where you are treated like an adult?).
This guy I know just got a full sized accordion from a yard sale. There are two kinds of
men who play accordions; those who have the
nimble fingers and those who don't. Mm hm.
rtitle-s and cartoons welcome, [lust make- the e4U>r \eum at ^ast   thrice, contain uour* lull contact Wormati
ion, and be
omirw issue- is ;
1? 1
AlrfbuXions must
Lout L .aloween. Vc scan* Vcaru Ike the- Lxorcist.
ide nu H*0£iur\, * ktober IvDi. Limail to bmoniau&fpinU!
be- mac
Dead Pool V:
The Contest Begins
The Reaper
Hard at work
"t's been all over the news for the past
week. Every tv station and every radio sta-
.tion and every newspaper and ever magazine in the country. Media outpouring of emotion, sobbing in the streets and renaming of
"""■"""■■"""■""■"■" mountains. For those of you who have either
been living under a rock for the last two weeks or have your heads lodged firmly up your asses,
I am referring to the recent death of Pierre Elliot Trudeau from prostate cancer. According to
his sons (one of whom teaches at a local Point Grey school), the former Prime Minister died
peacefully on the last Thursday of September.
And in the streets (across this fair land), people wept. Across the campus, people wept, because
they had their written list of dead pool entrants sitting on their desk at home, too lazy to bring
the list into SUS or email it to the Reaper at deadpool_432@hotmail.com. And then what hap-
_pens2,tNumber three on their list, a stunning man who brought the Constitution back to Canada,
who brought down marital law over the whole of the country, a man who would have gotten
them thirteen points in the Dead Pool, was gone. No more. Alas, alark.
However, to those of you who were good little biddies and entered your lists on time, I salute
you. Here is a list of lists I have received to date. Check your name and see if sumpthin' up.
Dan Anderson (who had to cross of Trudeau from his list because he got it in too
late!), Matthew Cowper (who gets 14 points for Pierre Trudeau), Mark Fisher (with
nine points for Trudeau), Viktor Brumovsky (who, like Dan, had to cross of Trudeau
and replaced him with Ronald Regan, who is also likely to die soon), James Rowe,
Richard Chang, Matthew Laird, and of course Meagan Roberge, who is in the
lead with 15 points!
What a wonderful leader of Canada. If anyone wants to discuss the impacts of Trudeau's Prime
Ministership later on, I'll be around. Drop me a line, we'll get some coffee.
Back to work, in he meantime. Richard Mulligan, who was that guy on that show (you know
the one, where he was a vet and had a big dog and his two grown daughters lived with him?)
died recently. In the political scene, Rosie Douglas, political big wig in the Dominican Republic, passed away and now there is this big broughaha about how he died and people are demanding an autopsy. Back when Rosie was in McGill, he and some of his studential cohorts protested. Those guys made the APEC thing out here in '97 seem like my grandma's church lady afternoon tea social.
So, on with the show! If you hear of important peoples dying, please let me know. The best
way of course is to email me at deadpool_432@hotmail.com. However, with Halloween fast
approaching, if you want to call the SUS Office (822-4235) and leave a dark and mysterious
message in a scratchy voice, be my guest.
No heavy breathing.
Good luck, and don't fear the Reaper.
Dumb Assed Easy Contest #2
Chris Struik
asked Chris what issue
he read the contest in. He
replied uIssue 2".
-Chris is a winner.
What does Chris win? Check
out these cool prizes!
A lifetime supply of 432's!
Free Coffee in SUS for the month of Oktber!
and a 432 gift pack!
You should enter the next
432 contest! It's that easy!
Stay tuned in issue 4 for the next Dumb Assed
       Easy contest! i^UJjJJj]
Your Future is in Your Hands
Southern California University of Health Sciences, {SCU), internationally recognized as the leader
in scientifically-based health care education with its Los Angeles College of Chiropractic, now
plans to bring the same innovative curriculum styl# and dedication to excellence with its new
College of Acupuncture and Oriental Medicine starting January, 2001.
Los Angeles College of Chiropractic
♦ the leader m scientifically-based and
evidence-based approach to patient prtv
• the Mb chiropractic college accredited
by the Western Association of Schools
and Colleges {WASCJ
♦ a leader in sports medicine
programs with emphasis in sports injuries,
nutrition, radiology, pediatrics and pain
• state-of-the-art audio/visual
and computer-assisted learning resources
College of Acupuncture and
Oriental Medicine
Curriculum abilities include:
,♦ Effective Communication  ; „',;
• Reason*8a$ed Use of Sciehce
; and Evidence     .   „     *:y.{'r   '
• Patient-Centered Disease Management
• Illness Prevention and Wellness Focus
• Diagnostic Skills
Programs Offered:
• Acupuncture
• Traditional Oriental Medicine
• Western Sciences and Orthopedics
• Herbal Studies
• Ethics and Practice Management
• Clinical Training
We 're coming
to see you Oct 23!
Dr. Joshua Samanta of SCU will
meet with UBC students to share
information and answer questions at
the Vancouver College Fair at the
Delta Pacific Resort & Conference
Centre on Monday, Oct 23, from 6 pm
Southern California University
of Health Sciences
9    1
being accepted
Las Angeles College <rfChfeqpmctic
College of Aoipunctsum & Oriental Medicine
Canadian Tuition Discount Available Page Six
11 Oktober 2000
Wild World of Departmental Elections!
Every year, SUS and it's constituent members (being you) elect several departmental and year reps to represent you and your various interests. There are first year reps for various programs, and departmental reps for all of you in second year or higher. Make your way to a voting booth and vote! You will need your (valid) student card to vote. Take part in democracy! Don't be so damn apathetic! Rock on!
First Year
Ted Lai
Congradualations, First Year Science
Students!!! Feel proud to be a member
of the group of 1st year Science students to step into the new millenium from
2000 to 2001 ~!!! It will be my greatest hon
our to serve YOU, the Millenium UBC SCIENCE Group, as your First Year Rep. This
year will be a blast. I will assure you a best
freshman experience that you will never forget-!! However, in order (for me) to do that,
I will NEED YOUR HELP!! Vote for me, Ted
Juliana Lam
Math 109. Homework Ass. Ml
1. For the function:
f(x) = [Juliana/(Hardworking)3]-(creative)2-
a)  Solve  for Juliana  where  f(x)  equals
One Responsible First Year Rep.
Answer: Juliana=H3(R+C2+E2)
where H=hardworking   C=creative
R=responsible      E=experienced
b)Using your observation above, who will
you vote for as First Year Rep. on election
days? Answer: JULIANA LAM!!!
May Tee
course! Well, at least we all like to
think so (I don't exactly get turned on by
evaluating derivatives or memorizing formulas, though :)). I do, however, enjoy volunteering and helping students of the finest fac
ulty at UBC-the faculty of science.
I'm running for First Year Rep and if I am
elected, I will voice YOUR ideas and concerns
at SUS meetings and ensure that they are heard
and addressed.
Take a step in the right direction my fellow
friends and classmates, and VOTE May Tee
for your First Year Representative!
Hick Hsu
1st Year Sep
Educate Highschso! student
ai>mi V-life
more events, more FUN
Vl\ do weft, and I'll do good
Vote For
What you want
is what you get
Science One
Theresa (Yu Huan) Liao
oals: To enable the opinions of Science
One Students to be heard by the SUS
-To coordinate Science One and SUS activities.
-To strive for the benefits of Science One Students.
Coordinated Science
Chris Weston
Are you a Coordinated Science student?
Make sure your voice is heard on the.
Science  Undergraduate  Society,   by
voting for your CSP Representative. Because
it is a small group of first year students, it is
important that CSP views and concerns be
heard on council, and that it is well represented. Vote "yes" to being well represented on
SUS by voting for Chris Weston for CSP Representative.
General Officer
Janel Casey
Hi! My name is Janel Casey and I am a
third year student majoring in biochemistry. I'm originally from Nova
Scotia, but now consider Vancouver to be my
home. More specifically, Totem Park is my
real home and I'm having a great time advising on 6th Dene this year. As for Science
Council, I'm thrilled to be acclaimed as General Officer for the second year in a row.
Make sure you come and vote in the elections!
Jaisun Garcha
Hi, my name is Jaisun Garcha and I am
running for the position of General
Officer for the Science Undergraduate
Society. As science students you deserve to be
represented by people who care about your
needs and concerns. As General Officer my
goal will be to provide a strong supportive role
in all S.U.S. activities and make sure that science students have a year filled with fun and
excitement. The Science Undergraduate Society makes an effort to provide for science students and I am ready to help take on thaiytask.
Scarlett Yim
HEY, all you hotties and smarties in
SCIENCE! How are you enjoying
being back or being new to UBC? If
everything is peachy, I'm here to make it even
better  for  you  to  be  in  the  BEST  and
LARGEST faculty in UBC. Vote for me as
your Science GENERAL OFFICER. Bring
your student card and Vote YES to Scarlett
Yim during Oct. 11-13. If you have any questions or just feeling lonely, email me at scar-
letta@ca.nada. com
Please, no personal ads.
Jason Elliott
Hey Biochem students, listen up! It's
time for to help re-elect me, Jason
Elliott to the position of Biochemistry
Rep on SUS Council. I've held the position for
the last two years, and will continue to work
hard for biochem students from my behind-
the-scenes position. Just a quick bio: I'm in a
4th year major that lives in Gage and knows
the in-and-out of the Department.
Look for my posters and my presentations in
your classes. Vote for experience - vote Jason.
Kristin Lyons
Hi, I'm Kristin Lyons, I'm a second
year biochemistry student and I'm
running for the position of Biochemistry Rep in SUS. I was a member of First
Year Committee last year, and I was a Mug
Leader this year. As Biochemistry Rep, I plan
to promote science and science events, and I
plan to keep biochemistry students informed
about what is going on in the department.
Hope to see you all come out and vote
Wednesday, October 11th to Friday, October
Paul Dhillon
Waasssup y'all! pd throwin' it down
for a deuce on SUS council. They
just suck ya in after first year and
don't let you go. I don't know what to write
because the only person I was gonna run
against is too nice of a person to run against
me, thanks Miyako. I'll finish it up wit a little
quote cuz I'm outa room. "I do not know what
you destiny will be. But one-thing I do know.
The only ones among you who will be truly
happy are those who have sought and learned
to serve others." Tru Dat.
Sameer Wahid
Hi there! You're probably bored from
reading election blurbs by now, so I'll
make mine short! My name is Sameer
Wahid and I'm running for Chemistry Rep.
I'm a third year chem. rep, so I'm not exactly
new to the department, and I spend a lot of
time in SUS where I'm Sales Manager. So if
you want to buy cool Science T-Shirts, come
in to SUS!! No one ran against me, so come
on out and vote YES for Sameer Wahid on
election day. , ,,,:y  \....,."'"
Computer Science
Mike White
wwwwbjyeah. word to the department of
a computer science, without which this
position would not be acclaimed, i
promise to show up to sus meetings, i promise
to hang out in the sus office and yell at people.
i promise to try to sabotage the slow slide of
cs and the university in general into a job-
training obsessed technical school, come out
and vote yes for me. or not, i mean, what good
would it do? look around, do you think the
other 600 people in cicsr 208 care? you bet
they don't, oh well.
General Science
General Scince
Representative 11 Oktober 2000
Page Seven
More Departmental
Dan Anderson
i. Dan might break out of his institute
and hunt you down.
[ white space that Bree hates ]
Yay, white space...
All done! Bear in mind that I am not in geography. I never have been in geography, and
never will be in geography.
Vote Dan?
Integrated Science
Corisande Baldwin
I am Corisande Baldwin and I am running
for Integrated Science Representative on
SUS Council. My goal is to ensure that ISP
students are represented fairly on science
council and to ensure that ISP students are
made aware of the dire issues affecting us.
Because Integrated Science is a new program,
now is the time to ensure that our department
is full of enthusiasm! I hope to encourage all
ISP students to participate in science events
such as Science Week, Cold Fusion, and Bzzr
Gardens. Participate and enjoy life at UBC!
You pay $12 per year to SUS, so let your
voice be heard!
Valerie Wong
I want to be hands-on- involved as your ISCI
repl My name is VALERIE WONG, and
although I'm aware that the chances you
know me personally are teeny tiny, I just want
you to know that I'll be dedicated to making
sure you and everyone else in our department
will be informed, and hopefully, involved, in
all of the science events which will be occurring throughout this year. Make 2000/01 an
exciting one with YOU as the centre!
Rajesh Pachchigar
now go and vote!
Physics and Astronomy
Benjamin Warrington
As the representative of the Department
of Physics and Astronomy on the Science Undergraduate Society Council, I
promise to do my utmost to curtail the ambi
tions of the ambitious, the officiousness of the
officious, and the abuse of the abusive. Most
importantly: vote for me because I am a
Physics and Astronomy student, and no one
else wants the job.
Bzzr Mffi        $4
coffee Mu$s      $15     T_sMs $n
Toques $15
Coffee mugs are on sale for $ 15 for a
limited time. Come into SUS or
e-mail wahid@interchange.ubc.ca to
buy yours today!
Half-Page o'
Social Coordinator
Katharine Scotton
Well, Oktoberfest should be done with
by now. I hope it went well. I really really hope it went well. If you
showed up, thanks! Come again.
The next event planed is on November 3rd in
the SUB partyroom. The event is called
Nothing Ever Happens In November,
because nothing ever happens in November. Yeah, so come on out and join us! Once
again, I still need to help with the social committee, so if you want to help, contact me at
kscotton@interchange. ubc. ca
I'm also usually in the office from 10:30 to
1:30. Come by and visit! Thanks to everyone
who helped out with Oktoberfest, you all rock!
Timothy Chan
Aw man, another one:)?! Hey all!
Looks like it's elections time again so
make sure you get out there and vote
for your friends (or against your enemies).
Other than that, I hope everybody is surviving
the midterm blitz. You know what the best
way to relieve the midterm stress is? By having a big long needle stuck in your arm. You
get to lie on a bed and have people serve you
milk and cookies too! If this issue comes out
on time (Oct. 11), Golden Key is hosting a
blood donor clinic as you're reading this right
now! So hurry over to the SUB and save a
life! And eat a cookie!
Sara Stamm
Okay everybody. Register now for Day
of the Longboat, Innertube Water
Polo, 3-on-3 Volleyball, and something called the Halloween Hash Run. They're
fun and if you're a Science Team, you get
money back after you're done!
Speaking of money, I am giving, money pro
vided, 60% rebates for all science teams who
give me sufficient proof. I will also give
money back for team uniforms. If there are too
many sports fanatics asking for money, I will
cut the rebate to 50%. The proof that I need is
a copy of your registration fee receipt and
your uniform purchasing receipt, a team roster, and the full name and email of the person
who will receive the money on behalf of the
team. So, go and register now! (goddamnit!)
ff*|-f"^|"K> **|   \J\CC>— T^YC*7   452 as well as posters up around campus so
11 ltv^I 1 ICil    V lv*^   1   1 \ZZ~   yOU know wn() they are and can make an
educated decision. You have the right to
vote, so use it! Remember to bring your student card.
Reka Sztopa
ELECTIONS. ELECTIONS. ELECTIONS. Yes, Science Council Year and
Department Rep Elections are underway. Please come out and vote from Wednesday, October 11th through to Friday, October
13th. Poll booths will be alternating thoughout
most Science buildings and will be open 9:30-
Each candidate has a blurb in this issue of the
On another note, FYC is going really well.
There are 10-15 people who meet every week,
and we are planning an awesome event for
November so stay tuned. If you still want to
join, come to our meetings on Monday at
Until two weeks from now, have a good one
and good luck with your midterms.
Your Internal Vice President hard at work.
FyJT^rnrti   \IXf*r*— T^Yf^T Committee meeting will be October 24
*-*-/v ICI 1 ICil    V 1 v*C"I   1 Cst,(Tuesday) sometime after 4pm for about an
hour in the BioSci bldg. For details email
me at apurill2@yahoo.com. Also if you
would like to get, involved please do get
Hmm. what else? not much really. Your SUS
pornstar is now getting horny and must stop
writing and get down to business.
Ajay Puri
ey there porn watchers sup. Not much
new to report in the world of external
news except that the Science Week
Give Blood!
Wednesday, October 11th, 2000
SUB Ballroom
10 am -A pm
Bring photo ID with your signature.
Call 707-3438/9 for eligibility requirements Page Eight
11 Oktober 2000
Oh GREat.
Andy Martin
Comfortably Hung
So, you just got your first midterm grades
back, and they aren't exactly that great
this year. Okay, they make your ex-girlfriend's final evaluation of your intelligence as
that of a termite's look a few genera of evolution higher than what grad school's gonna
think when they look at your transcript. But
you have an out.. You know that you're
smarter than a termite, even though a termite
can build huge intricate structures out of spit
and fungus, can follow directions perfectly,
and could probably remember where they left
the goddamn car keys...but that's not the
point, the point is, you get one last chance to
prove it: the GRE.
The GRE is basically a test that acts as a measuring stick by which grad schools measure
your actual mental ability. Your grades alone
aren't exactly the best representatives of how
smart you are. We all know that, and we've all
argued it in front of many a potential employer who raised an eyebrow to our Math 101
mark. The news flash is that profs actually
know this too, and got together to put a standardized test together to select grad school
applicants. This test tells them if your A's are
due to long nights studying, or long nights giving your profs blowjobs. This screws Karen up
pretty bad, eh?
Now say you're going to Yokel U. in Trail-
erparkopolis, Montana. So long as your family tree branches a few times, you're a Chancellor's List shoo-in, right? But come on down
and be plunked into UBC Biol 303, and it's a
different story. So graduate schools came up
with a wonderful multiple choice test they
charge you $90 to whose very odd scoring system lets profs know exactly how good you are
at English, Quantitative Reasoning, and Problem Solving. It sounds like the next thing
they'll have you do is see if you can use the
crate to get the banana, but it has to be better
than that...right?
So anyways, to the morning of...the first
morning in over a month I am up before 2pm:
At 6am, I bound out of bed, realize my
body's only half awake and uncontrollably fall
back to whack my head on the bedpost. Stemming the blood flow, I turn on the radio and
rummage through the closet to find my lucky
T-shirt. My trusty, lucky shirt that has seen
me through so many battles and has earned me
so many an A. It's mere presence worth a
good extra 15% on any test. If only the regis
trar's office knew about you, they'd knock my
average down a few GPAses.
"...and there's a stall in the tunnel that
they're just clearing out now."
Shit. Get the shirt on quick! There. Well, I
left myself lots of time, I'll be able to get
through the traffic and arrive with enough time
for a good staring contest or two with the SAT
"But what's not clearing up is that accident
just beyond that, expect a thirty minute delay
if you're heading East."
Ick! That'll be cutting it close, but I trust in
the shirt to get me there in time.
"And we just got a report of a stall on the
"Oh Lord! Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me!"
"Andy? Why are you yelling at your shirt?"
"...No reason. Gotta go."
Thank the good Lord for the lazy tow truck
drivers that sit on either side of the North
Shore bridges. Though they make more than
most of us and sleep for their eight hour shift,
they do come in handy every once in a while.
I made good time despite the specific bylaws
of Murphy's that apply to me in traffic.
Then I hit Coquitlam...
You know, someone has got to be really,
really stupid to plan a city and decide to put in
two Lincoln Avenues in the same city, without
any physical connection between them. Someone would have to be really, really
Needless to say, I arrived at the testing centre
twenty minutes late, out of breath (did I also
mention my hate of important buildings that
don't display their address numbers?) and left
the very pleasant exam supervisor a little shaken by my constant repetition of the term 'ass-
cramming city planner'.
I was able to convince her to let me take the
test, locked my stuff in the complimentary
locker. Then she stopped me...
"Please put ALL your belongings away."
"Your calculator, please put it away."
"But there's a math section."
"A very hard math section."
"I didn't read nothing about no calculators."
"It was right here in this brochure."
"Boy, I wish I had been shown that brochure
about three months ago, when I started studying the math section WITH MY CALCULA
"Please put your calculator away, sir."
Visibly shaken by the following string of partisan evaluations of the heritage of the faceless
guilty who neglected to inform me that calculators weren't allowed, she led me to my test
During the test intro, I broke the silence code,
laughing at the directions including 'How to
Use a Mouse' and 'How to Answer a Multiple
Choice Test'. By the end, I was expecting
'How to Not Kill Yourself on Your Scratch
Paper', but nonetheless appreciated the
Then the test started.
The GRE is kinda funny in a really unfunny
way. If you do well on the first questions, the
next ones get harder, and are worth more. Ha
ha. I started.
l.Boy this is easy.
2.Real easy.
3.1 am so gonna blast through this.
4.Heh, I actually had to think on that one.
5.Hm, let's work on that.
7. Oh Man.
9.0h Fuck.
10.Fuck, (you get the picture)
By the time I hit the final English section, I
was contemplating just putting my head
through the screen, thereby ending both of our
miserable existences.
Why couldn't I be one of the cute ones? Why
must I watch wave after wave of cute girls get
marks by batting their eyelashes, or genetic
freaks stay up all night Internet gaming and get
straight A's, while I have to work my ass off
for every mark? Why must I be the Stevie Ray
Vaughn of the academic circle, working away
for hours to perfect my trade, while countless
teenyboppers get their path beaten out for
them, their music written, their awful singing
fixed by Digitone ProTools and they end up
getting paid more per concert. And we all
remember what happened to SRV just as he
was beginning to peak? Even he didn't suffer
this much before going down in flames.
There is no God.
You know, I wish I was religious. God would
have to help me, or I could take comfort in the
Lord's invisible yet all encompassing love, or
at least I could release some frustration with a
carbomb in His name. I wish I were Christian,
or at least Catholic. But I don't want that many
kids. There's enough piss in the gene pool
already, thank you.
Oh Shit! Where did the last five minutes go?!
Oh SHIT, I've only got five minutes left to do
the last ten questions. Lousy fucking com-
plaitivetory brain! You little fuck. There's a
bottle of white-out in the car with your name
on it. We're gonna have ourselves a right
brain cell genocide tonite if you don't get off
your cerebellic ass! But until then...FUCK-
Ahhhhhhhh! Only four minutes left. Maybe I
should clean up my mouth. Damn it! Patron
Saint of Those Whose Profs. Gave Them Tests
Way Harder Than They Should Have, don't
fail me now! Uh, 'D' feels lucky to me, so I'll
mark C. E, A, B, 'F' feels lucky...no F...okay
E, B, D minor, A#, E5. Done! Darn, I had
twelve seconds left, I coulda thought about one
of them. Hey the test's over!
"All done then?"
"Yeah, but I think the computer screwed up.
It gave me 4 sections. I thought the test only
had three."
"Oh, an extra random section is put in to try
out new questions, you don't get a mark for
[akward stillness, broken by an almost indecipherable twitch of the left eyebrow as the
blown out brain comprehends that the test was
1/3 longer than it had to be]
"You SON OF A D- [Whoa, even I won't
write that down - Andy] -SLIMEMOLDSO-
DO- [Hmm, hmm, hmm. Da, da, da. I'm
aaaalmost done...] -UUUUUUUUCER!!!"
The supervisor, cringing in fear and crossing
herself franticly, hits the key to show me my
"Oh...say, that isn't that bad, is it?"
"Uh...no sir, that's quite good."
"Heh, sma-arter than the average bear."
"Uh, yes sir."
"Well, thank you. I'll get the marks in two
weeks then?"
"We'll mail them to you."
"That's perfect! Thanks again, and have a
nice day."
I walk out into the noon sunshine. Man, it's a
wonderful day to be alive. Two weeks of laid-
back researching for possible grad schools,
followed by a two week road trip down the
West coast to visit some profs and I'm sure
that there's relevant research to be done on
spatial distribution of humanoid-animals in
Disneyland or the average crab density in
It's a beautiful day.
Your i^S^^^^^Vefl^H^^Rte^ya
Coorlliiliii=ii§eiencejH^jP^^^^HOne  Rep,
Bioc^UgJ^Jfji^ Bio|B^'y8S1^1^^^^^iistry Rep,
Com J||i|5^H^'Hipl I nteg rated
Scxer^^^^^^s^^c^^^^^^^^^^y Rep and
Poll l^^ft^^^S1ltS[^^HKH^^^pHebb/ .SUB,
CI CSlpJIi|l|l;i|jl:: ^|^^^^SI|^^^|^bb Theatre,
Henrfl^PI^^H^M>^i^^^^^^^l^B?ard S. Klinck.
and >%fiH|^H^fc JB^H^^S^§I
Wednesday October
11th-Fnday October
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