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UBC Publications

UBC Publications

The 432 Sep 19, 1990

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 Volume 4, Number 2       The Newspaper for Science Students     Wednesday, Sept. 19,1990
Tenants' Rights: *********
Nine Questions and Answers
- by Aaron C. Drake -
1) My Landlord asked me for a full month's damage
deposit and he said it was non-refundable. Can he do
According to section 1 of the RTA (Residential Tenancy Act), a security deposit includes "a fee or deposit
that is not refundable." On the other hand, section
15(l)b states that the damage deposit cannot exceed a
half month's rent. If it does, you are entitled [Section
15(2)] to set off the extra amount against rent due.
2) There are five of us living in a house. The Landlord
says that we each have to pay him a damage deposit
because there is such a greater chance of one of us
damaging the house. Do I have to pay?
Regardless of the number of people living in the house,
the Landlord can only ask for a half month's rent for the
damage deposit, and each of you pay a portion of it
3) The Landlord wants me to sign an agreement
before I can move in, but some of the terms seem
completely unreasonable. I don't want to sign it; he
says I can't move in unless I sign it.
A Landlord does have the right to ask you to sign a
tenancy agreement, but he does not have the right to
include anything that contravenes the RTA. Any term in
the agreement that conflicts with the Act is deemed void
[Section 3(5)]. Also, if any terms are unreasonable, he
cannot enforce them [Section 4(3)]. Who decides what
is or isn't reasonable? The courts.
Continued on page 5...
Did You Kmow..*
....that seventeen of the Pm^fc^Prh^ winners since
1960 got their start by writing for their college
...that the Ubyssey office i$ infested w»U* slimy
green horrid salamanders that eat Jiopefal young
...that The 43?"s best articles of the year will win
iftcir authors fabulous prises and parting giftsT
... that every parson whose article we print receives
a wonderful, mtym, and wortd-farooas certifi*-
cate from'/&r 432**?
rest receive certificates of appreciation. AM befter
thaftail that, you gain the invaluable experience of
writing for a newspaper with a$stribation of over
fact that it looks good on a resume*...)
Submit soonf Submit often t\
* Approximate value of first prize: $50.
to The 432.
Sneakers loom in the 1989 Arts 20 Relay. Story, page 4.
Science Student Wins Big in
432 Trivia Contest
With a score of 58/75, Allan Sharp of Vancouver has
won The 432' s first contest of the year. A past staffer of
this paper, Sharp, in his fourth year of studies at UBC,
got only five questions wrong on the twenty-question
trivia quiz, and won without even attempting the
tiebreaker bonus question.
He wins $25, which is available anytime from
the SUS office.
Runner-up in the contest was Greg Wellman
(Physics/Math 4), whose score of 53/75 wins him a
voucher for $10 worth of Science Sales merchandise,
courtesy of The 432.
Last issue's description of the4?2 contests was
tentative, and has now been superceded. From here on
in, all prizes will be merchandise, from a different
sponsor each issue. The first prize will be worth on the
order of $25, with second and third prizes of approximately $10 and $5 value.
The contest this issue is sponsored by Science
Sales; first prize is a SUS V-neck sweater, second prize
a pair of Science boxers, and third prize any Science T-
The grand prize at the end of the year, advertised
last issue to be $ 150, may or may not still exist. If it does
(which is likely), it will be a Valuable Piece of Merchandise, exact nature uncertain, for which all prizewinners
over the twelve contests of the year will be entered in a
draw in March.
Contest Answers, page 8
That's Trivial!, page 3
New Contest, page 8
In This Issue...
Editorial 2
Ombudsoffice 2
That's Trivial 3
Aaron Drake 3
L'Incroyable Thrud 4
CommentAri 5
Sports 4
Dik Miller, P.I 6
T.A.'s Venting Spleens 7
Dr. Kurt 8
Elections Info 8
September 19,1 Editorial: Not for Credit
by David W. New
PHYS 340 (3) Elements oj'Physics;
survey of the conceptual framework of
phyusicsfor non-scientists who wish to
master new paradigms and imagery.
... Not for credit in the Faculties of
Science or Applied Science.
Ah, this is a fine course. Those unfortunates who never took any Physics in
high school can learn all about New-
tori^ L^ys, general relativity, and
quantum mechanic^;* st^yibg^their
interest in Physics (and, inidentally,
their Science requirement) all the while
without touching mathematics or entering a laboratory. And of course Science and Engineering students can't be
allowed to take the course: their superior backgrounds would guarantee them
the very top of the curve. And that can' t
be made to happen.
Besides, Geophysics and Astronomy has its not-for-credit course
—GEPA 310, Exploring the Universe.
So does Oceanography—OCGY 310,
Man and the Oceans. And Biology —
BIOL 343, Plants and Man. All fine
courses. All catering to those poor souls
who lack the prerequisites for anything
better. All satisfying the minimum Science required to graduate in Arts, without delving too deeply into what constitutes Science.
And the arrangement is reciprocal, too: Science students have to take
a minimum amount of Arts to graduate,
and to help out, Russian 100 has a
section especially for Science students;
Music 326 exists for the benefit of
nonmusicians; English 301 gives lectures
on how to write a letter or a lab report.
All fine courses. The one deem-
phasizes grammar and accent, of course,
for Scientists who have no facility with
languages; the nextteachestherudiments
of how to listen to a piece of music; the
last gives valuable remedial treatment to
students who sweat on trying to form a
sentence. All useful courses to have, all
good and valued additions to a university
their existence! Don't think I'm using an
obscure irony! They are fine courses, all
of them; if a university can't teach people
the basics of a subject, how can it justify
teaching the advanced levels? I'm happy
for the lack of elitism that lets UBC offer
courses like these. And I'm glad for the
commitment to a broad education that
insists people take courses well outside
their disciplines in order to graduate.
What disappoints me is how well
these two fine commitments interlock.
An Arts student who takes Astronomy
310 is derided—not much, not loudly—
by the Science students who see the course
material. It's not Science, not really: by
teaching the very basics, it gives no more
clue as to what constitutes Science than a
Continuing Education not-for-credit
course. Which is not for credit for anybody.
And what Arts student considers
Science students highly who must stoop
to the how-to of English 301, lacking all
the analytical rigour which constitutes
Arts? By teaching the very basics, itmisses
the nature of Arts, and leaves the students' requirements filled but their minds
as unbroadened as before.
The elitist may campaign for the
elimination of such courses, as they represent a travesty to their respective faculties — and indeed, a movement is occurring to toughen them up, adding intensive
geometry and plenty of algebra to Arts
Astronomy, including stringent analysis
to Music Appreciation.
But why penalize the bright microbiologist who wants to learn to read
music by telling her she should have
learned fifteen years ago? Why punish
the linguist who wants to learn to balance
a chemical equation by saying it's too late
for him to learn; he should have chosen
more wisely when he was sixteen?
A university can't afford to cut its
students off from learning. So how to
keep them from pretending to learn; how
to guarantee a rounded education?
Time was, thirty years ago, when
senior high school courses were numbered in three digits, the first one zero.
What we know as English 12 was called
English 090, and English Lit 12 went by
English 099. The last two grades of school
presented a natural lead-in to the first
year of university; the 000's passed on to
the 100's, and in turn to the 200's of
second year. To return to this style of
numbering would have no logical or
useful purpose, and the paperwork and
confusion would preclude any bounty.
But cannot the university pre-empt it?
Cannot another level of coursework be
set up, far below the 700's of an M.D.,
the 600's of a Ph.D., the 500's of a
Master's, the 100's to 400's of an
Teaching the rudiments is valuable and needed. But that it should be
placed at the 300 level is the crime.
Why should one student, learning in
college what he could have learned in
high school, be given the same level of
credit as another, whose efforts are four
years' sweat more advanced? Place the
rudimentary courses below the first-
years; students can explore their interests in any faculty, in any department,
and gain zeroth-year credit that represents the level of their study.
Then the desire for a rounded
education, as expressed in the needed 9
units of Arts in a Science degree, need
only specify that the Arts courses in
question be at the 100 level or higher—
and the 3 units of Science in an Arts
degree be the same.
Sureitmakesthedegrees harder.
But so what? Do you really want to
claim you earned your education with
courses that barely scraped the subjects
in which they purported to deal? It's
also the job of a university to inculcate
different modes of thinking in its students, and to weed out those individuals who prove themselves resistant to
those different modes.
Taking the easy route to avoid
flexing your intelligence certainly isn' t
much credit to you.
C^nmtliy* ^omimMuob^ are o»g^n fer
tite Mk&wjtag positions;
o% £kfci ys« fftps
o$ ?Mid y^aur mp&
<$*US u tooSStyfoettmdtted* fomest indhMuats wfio want tp $e apart
tiftfie zi'efroi&d"ntacfctM we ta&d&$t&nu tindeTgraduate Society,
Nomination forms are avail* ' iflho
able at Chem im (SUS), or n&min t UC®
yon cart clip oat a WWSl • fa^gf ]? 5 ]&
Sl)B Vear and Departmental a^-ji «*. && *? ■ & f;
ttep Elections Nomination tf^Jl %£
Form <m the next page, hk ^mm' ****
'Lections are on ^Friday SeptemSer28,
in a fmtfdmg near you (if you're, near
MeBB *Ifaatrt, Chemistry, Woodward,
WesSroofo or CompSci). Toffs are open
front 10:30am to 2:30pm —
so G&rowr&tfp votei
I itf mow $flfOTlW*H*,«Wlt3U OfttWJ* HtHK'rt 4t ^H-t^S Of Zl^tlL
This Ombuddy's for You
- by Clement Fung -
Do you feel like you've been treated
unfairly or discriminated against by an
authority of the AMS or the University?
The AMS Ombudsoffice may be
able to help.
The role of the Ombudsoffice is to
receive, investigate, and resolve university-related complaints. It looks into
problems students have regarding ad-
minstration, admissions, fees, housing,
and many other areas.
It can make recommendations to
both the complainint and the authority
involved to encourage the settling of the
problem fairly for both parties. Although
the Office has no authority to make any
official rulings, the AMS Ombudsperson
may direct a formal appeal against the
authority involved at the level of Students' Council, the Board of Governors,
or the Senate.
The Office is run by Carole For-
sythe, AMS Ombudsperson, and her
assemblage of volunteer caseworkers...
and speaking of caseworking, the Ombudsoffice is now in the process of accepting new members. Forsythe anticipates "getting more people of the same
calibre as last year." A number of former
members have already returned with
renewed enthusiasm.
It's a great idea to get involved.
Why? Well, would you like to know more
about how the University is run? — Are
you curious about how the AMS works?
— Do you like meeting people? — Are
you willing to have fun?—Do you want
to break out of a glum, mundane lifestyle
solely consisting of attending classes,
studying, and writing exams?
If you'd like more information,
apply in person at the Ombudsoffice, in
SUB Main Concourse. You can expect to
learn and practise a number of valuable
skills while working as a caseworker —
the personal rewards are yours.
And remember: one day you may
need an Ombuddy. This service is here
for you, the student, and it is completely
confidential. Voice your complaints
through the AMS Ombudsoffice—SUB
Main Concourse, AMS Box 60, or phone
Clement Fung is majoring in Public
Service Announcements. By next year he
hopes to have taken over the worldmedia,
and then we'll be sorry. His plots so far
can be found on the Ombudsoffice floor.
Urgent Sports Bulletin!
Science is looking for competitive male athletes for Bodin Ball
Hockey — all divisions, all levels of competitiveness. Also,
positions need to be filled for the Physics Ball Hockey team, last
year's Div II champions. This is a competitive team trying to
repeat. Phone 228-4235, or drop by either Chem 160 or Henn 307.
The 432
September 19,1990 That's Trivial!
- by Tanya Rose -
Helloagain! This is the firstregular That's
Trivial of the year—answers on page 7!
And congratulations to Allan Sharp for
winning last week's contest — the answers to that aire on page 8.
Good Luck!
Theme: Science History
1-10: Easy-1 point each
1. Who predicted that light rays
would be bent by gravity?
2. Who said, "Eureka"?
3. WhydowecallittheHippocratic
4. What animal did SchrOdinger immortalize in his famous thought
5. What Renaissance artist-scientist
wrote his musings backwards?
6. What recently deceased Russian
physicist created the Russian H-
Bomb yet also won the Nobel
Peace Prize?
7. Who coined the term 'ego'?
8. What American scientist signed
the Declaration of Independence?
9. Who discovered DNA?
10. Whatmathemati;ciansaid,"Itliink,
therefore I am?"
11-15: Medium - 2 points each
What Canadian scientists won the
Nobel Prize for their discovery of
What famous American physicist
headed the Manhattan Project at
Los Alamos?
Who was the first scientist to win
two Nobel Prizes?
What was The Beagle?
Who was the Canadian chemist
who won the Nobel Prize in
Chemistry in 1986?
16-20: Hard - 3 points each
What was physically unusual
about Tycho Brahe, the mediaeval
Who did the controversy over the
discovery of differential calculus
revolve around (two people)?
was jailed in England because he
was a conscientious objector in
World War I?
What scientist escaped from the
Nazis by flying to Britain from
Sweden in the bomb bay of a
Mosquito Bomber?
Who were the fathers of the U.S.
I am awai:e of ny nomination and willing to tun for election for the
position of  ,.
** 15 iis the minimum number of signers required
We", the undersigned, bona fide members of the Science Undergraduate
Society, nominate___  for the position of ;	
date   isionature .name | Student number
The Treadmill
I'm going
into year
six of the
Degree Program for the
Mathematically Inept. That means I've gone
through six summers, if you count the
wimp two months after high school. It
follows, then, that I've had to find jobs
six different times. That's not exactly
true, because I eventually smartened up
and jumped off the Treadmill and Got
Back To Nature. As you may have read
in the last issue, I was a tree planter. Not
because I have an overwhelming love
of the Great Outdoors, but because there
is no other job I know of that pays as
But I don't want to talk about
that I want to talk about the Treadmill.
Being a student, you're faced
not only with the prospect of finding a
high-paying job, but the wonderful
challenge of finding someone that is
knowingly going to hire you for only
four months. This is Stress, which the
dictionary defines as: pressure; force;
strain. Interestingly enough, the dictionary defines Job Interview as: pressure; force; strain. There's a link there.
See it?
This is why I got off the treadmill. I wised up. Interviewers areagents
of Satan. Really.
Not all of you can be tree planters. Very few of you even want to get
off the Treadmill. As well, mere are all
you first-years out there who still list
Vice-President In Charge of Grad
Committee Posters on their resume.
You are the ones that I especially want
to reach.
Listen: No Fortune-500 com
pany gives a hoot that you were a grade 11
rep on your student council. Could you
honestly see \jx. Iacocca applying for
Chairman of the Board, and being asked
about what activities he was involved in
in high school?
Face it no one cares.
But I do have some honest advice
for you if you want to land The Job for the
summer. I will tell you my simple techniques for winning anyone over at a job
I lie.
Well, Idon'texactly lie. In second
year, when I said I was an International
Observer, itwasn'ttotally untrue. I watch
The Journal. I don't advise you to write
that you were an international observer,
because they might ask you if you know
me, and then you'd be in a jam, let me tell
A good catch-all phrase is Consultant I like to stress that I am a Technical Consultant, which is vague enough
that they almost never pursue it If they do
pursue it, there's an art to handling the
aggressive interviewer:
HIM: You were a technical consultant? Could you be a little more specific?
YOU: Why yes, of course. For the
summer of '88,, I was a Quantum mechanic.
[This is the best reply in any situation. Do
you know anything about quantum mechanics? I'm going to get a degree in
physics this year, and/ don't know what
quantum mechanics is. So relax. No interviewer is going to risk sounding more
stupid than you—which in most cases, is
pretty hard—and he'll avoid the subject
altogether. HOWEVER, if he happens to
be One Of Those Smartasses, he'll challenge you. Don't panic, though:]
HIM: You were a quantum me
YOU: Uh. yes. that's right.
HIM: Tell me something about
quantum mechanics, then.
YOU: Certainly. You see, quantum — OH! OH! OH!
HIM: What is it? What's wrong?
YOU: Oh, just a sudden sharp
pain in the chest, constriction of breathing, numbness in the arm, profuse sweating. It must be gas.
HIM:... I see ... You were saying?
YOU: Yes. I was saying that —
HIM: Oh my God, he's having a
heart attack. Someone! Help!
YOU (weakly): Please... let me
answer the question before I die (gasp)....
HIM: Never mind the question!
Just lie back.
YOU: Okey-doke.
Got that? I call it my Evasion-Through-
Diversion technique. Not only do you
evade the question, but you gain much-
needed sympathy from the interviewer.
There are other, subtler little hints
to follow. If you're asked, as you always
are, why you think you 're the best person
for the job, LIE!
YOU: I believe it will help me
gain a position on the Olympic Hoober-
toona Team.
HIM: The what?
YOU: It's an exhibition sport this
HIM: And you think that being a
sales clerk in a shoe store will help?
YOU: Cross-training.
Speech and s.yle is an important factor.
Always address the interviewer as Sir or
Ma'am. First names are a bad idea.
"Butthead" is even worse.
One must always be careful in
selecting the proper references. Here is a
list of recommended/not recommended
people to list as character references;
1) Mother Theresa
2) Mikhail Gorbachev
3) God
Not Recommended
1)2 Live Crew
2) Saddam Hussein
3) Mr Ed
There is, of course, more, but I can't
reveal my entire arsenal. Not for free.
Work with these tips, smile a lot, wear
clean underwear, and remember that
it's not what you know, it what you can
make them think you know.
Catherine Rankel, our President, thought
thatmylastarticle was reasonably funny.
If you're Out To Lunch, it was an article
about silly phobias, like my girlfriend's
need to remove ugly spiders, but not to
harm them, because, if she does, their
relatives will lay eggs in her nostrils.
That part, Catherine found particularly
amusing. "It's rather silly not to kill
them," she told me. "I just flush them
down the toilet"
"That sounds reasonable," I said.
"I flush twice," she added.
"Twice," I said.
"Yeah. Twice. Just in case it gets
caught the first time in that little dip in
the pipe, and swims back up and climbs
out of the toilet."
Thisisourpresident She flushes
a probably-already-dying spider down
the toilet then stands over it until the
Water-Holder-Tank-Thingfills back up
with water, then she flushes again.
I know. I voted for her, too.
Aaron C. Drake was last seen running
around arockat high speed. Heclaimed
to be preparing for an interview with the
NASA space shuttle team.
The 432
September 19, 1990 The 432
Volume 4, Number 2
September 19,1990
Editor:      David W. New
Writers:    Aaron C. Drake
Rachel Farrall
Clement Fung
Ari Giligson
Trent Hammer
Caireen Hanert
Orvin Lau
Derek K. Miller
David W. New '
Kurt Preinsperg
Tanya Rose
Typists:     Aaron C. Drake
Trent Hammer
Orvin Lau
David W. New
Cathy Rankel
Artists:      Cesare Battista
Aaron C. Drake
Mike Jackson
Patrick Redding
David Loh
Layout:     Aaron C. Drake
David W. New
Printed at College Printers.
Area: 9.652 x 10' m2.
Multiplicity: 4000.
Frequency: 8.267 x 107 Hz.
Average printing speed:
3.192 x 10 3m2/s
The 432, that vibrant, exciting Science paper you've all
grown to love, is published
by the UBC Science Undergraduate Society. All contents are © 1990 by the
authors, or by the Society if
no name is given, except the
particular shade of black
used in the lettering of the
Sports column.
Deadline for submissions:
Wednesday, September 26
Next issue: October 3
All Sorts of Stuff I Don't
Want to Commit To Yet
Since I Turned Out to Be
Wrong Last Time Around.
•Plus all our regular features. Naturally.
Come one, come all to the
432 Staff Meetings, every
Tuesday at 12:30 in room
CHEM 160! Be a 432 Goon!
Explode your horizons!
Wield thy fountain pen
knavishlv! ... Uh, yeah.
- by Rachel Farrall -
There's a meeting Wednesday, September 19th at 4:30pm in Chem 160 for everybody wanting to play
Softball, Broomball, Team Ultimate Frisbee, or Logan Cycle 200 for Science—and there's a meeting
an hour later, Wednesday September 19th at 5:30pm, for everybody wanting to play Ice Hockey, Ball Hockey,
Team Ultimate Frisbee, Soccer, Volleyball, or Basketball. It's important that you register early for
league events as they fill up fast!
If you would like to help out on the SUS Sports Council, come to the Council meeting On Tuesday,
September 25th at 5:45pm. We would love to have an Assistant Director, a Treasurer, a League Sports
Coordinator, Sports Photographers and 432 Sports Writers!
Events that must be registered for by Friday. September 21st
Autumn Softball Tourney I   Sat., Sept. 22 $45/team
Autumn Softball Tourney II Sat., Sept. 29 $45/team
Logan Cycle 200 Sat./Sun., Sept. 22-23 $50/team
Broomball Bash Tourney I   Tue., Sept. 25 $30/team
Broomball Bash Tourney II  Thu., Sept. 27 $30/team
Team Ultimate Frisbee Sat, Sept. 29 $35/team
Mountain Bike Trail Race I  Thu., Sept. 27 $ 5/person
League sports: Soccer, Ball Hockey, Field Hockey, Ice Hockey
Events that must be registered for by Friday. September 28th
Arts 20 Relay Sun., Sept. 30 $70/team
League sports: Basketball, Volleyball
My office hours are:        Mon - Fri, 10:30-11:30am; and Tues & Thurs, 12:30- 1:30pm.
Check the Sports bulletin board for updates! Registration forms/info pamphlets are also available.
Don't get stuck in the study rut — do sports! Good luck.
L'lncroyable Thrud
MO raps, sur PiCftstr use
Science Sales!
SUS Paper Sale II!
We' ve sold out our first inventory, and our second stock is going fast! Still only
$2.00 for 400 sheets — buy at SUS and save 45% off the T-Bird Shop price!
New Science Clothing!
•100% cotton crewneck / V-neck sweaters in Royal Blue, Navy Blue, and
White, with embroidered UBC shield!
•100% cotton white sweatshirts — only $18.00!
•100% crinkel cotton white shorts with pockets — only $14.25!
•Order forms for Science Varsity Jackets are now available—deadline for next
shipment is October 2nd, 1990!
Come and check out the new Science fashion line for the '90's — it's hot!
The Back-to-the-Grind Sale ends soon, so come and buy at
these super-low prices before they're gone forever!
The 432
September 19,1990 More Q&A on Tenants' Rights
Continued from page 1...
4) I'm unclear on how much control
the Landlord has over my apartment.
What are his rights and duties and
what are mine with respect to the
apartment itself?
The Landlord must repair and maintain
all residential premises so that they conform to health, safety, and housing standards [Section 8]. This duty holds even if
the tenant knew of any breaches of Section 8 by the Landlord when he entered
into the tenancy agreement. The tenant,
on the other hand, has a responsibility to
keep up health, cleanliness, and sanitary
standards. While the tenant must repair
any damage caused by his/her neglect or
negligence, the tenant is not liable for
"reasonable wear and tear" of the premises [Section 8(5)a].
In terms of access, the Landlord
cannot normally restrict access to the
tenant, or any guests of the tenant, any
candidates of an election, or their representatives. Except by permission of the
tenant, a court order, or in a time of
emergency, theLandlordcannotalter any
means of entrance to the premises [Section 10].
The Landlord may only enter the
tenant's premises between the hours of 8
a.m. and 9 p.m., and only under the following circumstances [Section 11]:
i) if an emergency exists;
ii) if the tenant gives consent, cither
at the time or in advance (not
more that one month ahead);
iii)if   the   tenant   abandons   the
iv)if the Landlord gives  written
notice no more than 72 hours before and not less than 24 hours
before; or
v) if a court orders it.
5) I'm having a dispute over some
money matters with the Landlord. Can
I withhold rent?
There is only one circumstance in which
you may legally withhold rent. If the
Landlord does not deliver to you a copy
of the tenancy agreement within 21 days,
you may hold back your rent until you get
a copy.
If you fail to pay your rent on time,
the Landlord can evict you within ten
days [Section 26]. He simply has to give
you written notice that you are being
evicted for failure to pay rent, and the
eviction takes effect no less than ten days
after notice is given. You then have five
days to contest the notice, or pay the rent.
In that case, the notice becomes void.
6) Under what other conditions does
the Landlord have a right to evict
There are a number of reasons that a
Landlord can evict a tenant For the following cases, he must give a full month's
notice. That is, it takes effect on the first
day of the next month and the tenant then
has that month to move out.
Causes for eviction [Section 27]:
1) Thetenant'sconducthasdisturbed
other tenants enough to unreasonably disturb their enjoyment
(eg, loud partying or domestic
2) The tenant has caused extraordinary damage to the premises.
3) The tenant's occupancy has resulted in wear and tear that exceeds what would reasonably be
expected as normal wear and tear,
and the tenant has not taken reasonable steps to repair the damage
(eg, the tenant has destroyed the
rug because he never vacuumed
or washed it).
4) The tenant has failed to pay a
security deposit within thirty days
of moving in.
5) The tenant has knowingly misrepresented the premises to a prospective buyer or tenant.
6) The number of tenants in the
premises is unreasonable.
7) The tenant has breached a reasonable term of the tenancy agreement (eg the tenant has failed to
mow the lawn regularly, as was
agreed upon in the agreement).
7) The Landlord is thinking of moving
back into my apartment How much
notice do I have to receive?
If the Landlord is planning to move in, or
if any relatives of the Landlord will occupy it, the Landlord must give two
months notice.
8) My Landlord has raised the rent
suddenly and sharply and told me to
pay or get out. Is there anything I can
First, the Landlord cannot raise the rent if
he has already raised it anytime in the last
year. If there has been no increase in rent
over the year, but the tenant moved in
within the last year, the Landlord cannot
raise the rent uniil a full year of occupancy has passed.
If the raise in rent causes the tenant to vacate the premises, the Landlord
must, within two months, enter into an
agreement with a new tenant [Sec.21]
where the rent is greater than 90% of the
increased rent demanded by the Landlord. Section21(2) ensures that the Land
lord must disclose in writing whether or
not a new tenant exists, and what the rent
is for the new tenant.
If it is found that the Landlord
raised the rent for the sole purpose of
evicting the tenant, and the Landlord did
not enter into an agreement outlined
above, then the court can order the following:
i) that the Landlord pay the tenant's
moving expenses, and
ii) that the Landlord compensate the
tenant for any other expenses,
including the increased rent of the
new premises, that the tenant had
to pay, or felt obliged to pay.
If the court, however, finds that the Landlord did not re-rent the premises as the
result of a change in the rental market, the
Landlord may not have to pay any expenses.
9) I keep hearing about people being
evicted for things like renovations or
because the Landlord is going to build
condos. Is this allowed? How much
notice are we entitled to?
Section 29 of the RTA allows the Landlord to evict tenants for his use of the
property. This includes, along with the
Landlord' s personal use, eviction because
the Landlord intends to convert the premises. Any of the following can be considered a legal reason to issue a notice of
i) demolition of the premises;
ii) conversion into a strata lot under
the Condominium Act;
iii) conversion into a Co-op;
iv) entering into a tenancy agreement
for a term exceeding 20 years;
v) conversion to caretaker's premises; or
vi) renovation.
In any of these cases (i - vi), the Landlord
must give two months' notice. Additionally, the Landlord must give notice to the
tenants that he intends to make an application to convert the residential premises, as outlined above, or enter into a
tenancy agreement of more than 20 years.
Now that the University is destroying
parking left right ;and centre, and raising
parking rates and violation fines, perhaps
some more of you will choose BC Transit
as your means of commution. If you are a
new rider of the buses, please keep in
mind one simple mile as you board: move
to the back of the bus\
I say this to those of you who are
new to busing, as iit is obvious that those
return riders of the transit network who
even now systematically disregard the
above request could be persuaded to
comply only at guinpoint You see, I live
close to campus (a 40-minute walk), and
four bus lines cros;s my stop: the 4th, the
9th, the 10th, and tine25th. Yetoftenisthe
time when at least three, and once seven,
buses have passed by without stopping.
The most disturbing thought invoked by the bus;' not stopping, even
though there is room for at least five
people between the rear seats, is not that
generally people aire too stupid, lazy or
inconsiderate to muove to the back. The
most disturbing idea is that university
students are too stupid, lazy or inconsiderate to figure out that if they don't move
right to the back the rest of us will be left
late for class and out freezing in the cold.
Now, some of you may answer:
"But wait! Surely those are not the university students! Surely not those hardworking, diligent, inventive young minds
who all aspire to be doctors and lawyers
and suchlike, and who will someday save
the world! Surely it must be those nasty
university Administration types who have
totalled their Porsches and now find a
perverted pleasure in watching freezing,
late students mumble obscenities at passing buses!"
Nope. Sony. It's you.
So please remember courtesy for
your fellow students and others. Move to
the back. If a seat opens, sit in it—don't
just hover over it for the next half hour out
of mere courtesy for an invisible presence. And, if you see me at the bus stop,
Important Notice
Iraq has illegally invaded a sovereign nation, disregarded diplomatic efforts to achieve a peaceful
solution, and violated several human rights as well as
standards and codes of the Geneva Convention; and
the UN Security Councilhas i) approved full economic
sanctions by all member nations; ii) authorized the use
of military force to enforce these sanctions; and iii)
called forthe unconditional withdrawal of Iraqi forces
from Kuwait, including the restoration of thepreviously
existing Kuwaiti government; and
Saddam Hussein is a big bully who is thousands of
miles away and can't touch us;
Be it known that
the UBC Physics Society declares a full economic
embargo against Iraq to be effective immediately on
this date, September something, 1990, and that this
embargo shall only be lifted when Iraq complies with
the demands of the United Nations.
til issued by President Caireen Hanert1, the following
items are declared restricted under IRPttl in that no
member of Physsoc may enter into an agreement with
Iraq or any agent of Iraq, be it either a citizen of Iraq,
or of any other country:
1) chalk dust;
2) Physics 110/115 April Exam Solutions;
3) Doughnuts;
4) thermonuclear weaponry;
5) small rocks; and
6) Don Ho records (LP or eight-track).
In accordance withlnternationalResolutionqfPhyssoc
#2 issued by President Caireen Hanert', Physsoc will
Contribute to the military presence in the Persian Gulf
by sending two hundred pocket protectors.
Additionally, Physsoc will send an elite Geek Brigade
to act independently of any Nerd Squad that the UBC
Math Club may deem to send or any Dweeb Platoon
from CSSS. The Geek Brigade will be a covert operation designed to complete the following tasks:
1) Reduction of the speed of light in Iraq to
shorten the days and lengthen the nights, thereby
causingitto snow, thereby increasing Iraqi dependence
upon antifreeze, of which they have NONE;
2) Infiltration of enemy lines and the removal
of all tape from eyeglasses of the enemy, effectively
neutralizing Iraqi Geek Brigades, Nerd Squads, and
Dweeb Platoons; and
3) Mounting of an intensive propaganda
campaign against the Iraqi soldiers to convince them
that Stephen Hawking has solved therenormalizability
problem of quantum gravity, thereby destroying the
fighting morale of the Iraqi Armed Forces.
In accordancevdihlnternationalResolutionqfPhyssoc
#3 issued by President Caireen Hanert', the Public
Relations Officer is directed to take the steps necessary
to clarify the position of Physsoc in these international
matters and to send a direct message to Saddam
Hussein protesting his actions:
*  Hey, Saddam: You're being a goof.    *
In accordance with Internal Trade Agreement #1
issued by President Caireen Hanert2, Physsoc will fund
its military effort through the release to the general
public of doughnuts for the price of fifty cents each*.
Any questions should be directed to the Office of The
President, Hennings 307*. Any objections to Physsoc
Policy will ONLY be considered if they are submitted
in triplicate to thetheOfficeofThe President, Hennings
307s. Any interested parties that feel the swelling of
nationalistic self-righteous fury and wish to join the
Geek Brigade are encouraged to join Physsoc, where
they will receive, forthe priceof five dollars, numerous
dates with fabulous movie stars'. Additional frills will
be provided at no extra cost7.
'As declared by Public Relations Officer Aaron Drake,
in the absence of Caireen Hanert, through Special
Resolution It], The Enabling Act, enabling Public
Relations officers to say whatever they darn well
please and blame it on their girlfriends.
3As declared at Executive meeting, September something, by general consensus, but not really for the
reasons outlined above. The aforementioned reasons
are a result of Special Resolution #2, The Artistic Licensing Act.
'Available Monday to Friday, 9am to 6pm, Hennings
307. For real. No joke.
4Don*t ask the Public Relations Officer. He couldn't
give a fat rat's ass about your problems.
'All complaints must be written in Esperanto.
'Movie Stars not included.
TMembers receiveone membership card on 651bpaper
in delightful black and white colours, the use of a
private carrel for studies, naps, nastiness. Also,
members get use of microwave, lounge, free tutoring
in physics and math. Fridgeavailableas well. Hennings
307 (upstairs). Now signing up for Ball Hockey,
Soccer and Volleyball teams. Frosh are welcome but
are also targets.
The 432
September 19,1990 Dik Miller, Private Eye
- by Derek K. Miller -
As you may recall, when we last left Dik
Miller he was being pursued down Tower
Beach by a lone naked woman (who had
been trying to shoot him before he kicked
her gun into the ocean) and a large mob
of Nudity Enforcement Patrol Officers. If
you don't recall any of that, you're
probably quite confused.
Running in sand is not easy in any situation, but knowing that if you don't run
fast someone might either (a) kill you or,
(b) rip all of your clothes off, doesn't
make it any easier. I was slogging my
way through what had eons ago been
solid rock somewhere halfway across the
world, and I glanced behind me to see the
woman and the naked horde gaining on
me. I really wished that I had not left all
of my Dik Miller™ gadgets at home
Of all the days to do that, I thought.
/ should have known. Thursdays are like
this. I wish I'd taken up marathon running like I was planning to. Of course I
had never planned any such thing, but the
idea helped to console me.
Several dozen sunbathers hove
into view, sparking a plan in my brain. I
upped my pace somewhat (though that
was exhausting) until I was right in the
midst of them.
"Raid! Police raid! Drug check!
SWAT teams! Tanks! Missiles! Everybody run!" I yelled until my lungs were
It worked. People screamed,
jumped up, and began running around
aimlessly, as panicked people tend to do.
I didn't like the idea of inciting a mess
like this, but hey, sometimes a guy's just
got to look out for himself, you know?
Now if only I could make my way
into the trees without my pursuers seeing
me. How hard could it be? I was only the
sole clothed person in the entire crowd. I
veered towards the foliage.
As I dodged between nude and
frightened sunbathers, I noticed a dark
red shape out on the water. It was getting
closer, and within a few seconds I could
make out that it was a hovercraft. A few
seconds after that and I could tell that it
was not out for sightseeing; it was headed
straight for me. I broke into a full sprint,
but my legs wouldn't carry me. I tripped
and landed on the sand with a distinct...
well, without much of a distinct sound at
When I regained consciousness I was
looking at a series of fuzzy red blotches.
I shook my head and they became words:
With time I determined that they
were on a ceiling. I was lying down in an
awfully loud place. The room was dominated by a throbbing, vibrating hum that
ate into my bones and gave me an awful
headache. Or maybe it was the fact that I
had been knocked unconscious that had
given me a headache. In any case, I had
one and it hurt. That was about all I knew.
"Good afternoon, Mr Mffer, "said"
a voice. (No kidding.)
"Good afternoon," I replied grog-
Don't get left out. This limited edition of the year's best seller
is going quickly. There are hundreds of 2-for-1 and 50%
offers to enjoy for a full year of food, fun and travel.
gily. "Could I trouble you for some aspirin?"
"You could certainly try, but I
don't have any."
"That's unfortunate."
"Yes it is. Not as much as you
think, though."
I frowned. "Why is that?"
A man appeared in my field of
vision. Much to my disappointment, he
was pointing a very large and unfriendly
looking gun at me. I was getting tired of
having guns pointed at me. In fact, if
anyone points a gun atme again I'll shoot
them. No, scratch that. Never mind.
"Because," intoned the Man-with-
unfriendly-gun, "if you don't tell us where
Angela Crisco is, I'll shoot you."
"Oh," I said. (There wasn't much
else to say, after all.)
"Where am I, anyway?" I inquired,
trying to avoid the question.
"You're on a hovercraft, far
enough out to sea that there's not a hope
of swimming back, especially with those
weights on your feet"
I lifted my head and saw that me
feet were shackled and attached to two of
those iron balls that prisoners used to
wear in old movies. I wondered where
one could buy things like that. Then
someone hit me in the forehead with a
railway spike.
When my head hit the floor again
I realized that it wasn't a railway spike at
all,but thatmy headache didn'tlike being
sloshed around when I moved my skull. I
obliged it.
"So where is Angela Crisco?" the
man demanded.
"Who the hell is Angela Crisco?"
I snapped back. "And why the hell would
anyone be named after a shortening?"
"She's the woman who was chasing you down the beach, and she disappeared just before we picked you up. And
she's not named after the shortening,
she's named after the town."
"The town?" I was incredulous.
"Crisco, Wyoming."
"Ah. Well, I don't know where
she is."
"Fine then. I'll shoot you now."
This was getting more and more
And you thought the cliffhanger endings
were over? You thought the story was
actually finished? You thinkl'mnot going
to milk this for all it's worth? Ha! Tune in
next issue.
Senate Shorts
Available now at Science Sales, room Chem 160!
- by Orvin Lau -
Last Wednesday night, Senate held its
first meeting of the year. A large (and not
very exciting) part of the meeting was
spent discussing the annual financial
report from the Board of Governors.
However, there were a few items of
interest that I feel should be mentioned.
The President informed Senate
that the Committee on Race Relations
has almost been formed. (For those of
you who don'tknow, this committee is a
result of the EUS nEUSlettre controversy
informed Senate that a President's Committee on Specific Learning Disabilities
has been meeting, and came to consensus
on a few matters over the summer.
A report was also made by the
Registrar on a few matters. He noted that
enrolment at the university has increased
by 5%. Specifically, there are now 4244
students enrolled in the Faculty of Science — that's a lot of students.
Starting next year, Spring and
Summer Sessions will no longer have
those names. Instead, both sessions together will simply be called Summer
Session. The times and duration of the
courses hasn't been changed, just the
names. This may seem insignificant, but
it will affect registration on Telereg:
regardless of whether you are registering
for the old Spring Session (to be called
term 1 of the new Summer Session) or the
old Summer Session (to be called term 2),
you will use the Telereg Session code
9IS — which used to mean Winter Session. Next year's Winter Session Telereg
code will be 91W. Oh well, at least they
now make sense.
Lastly, starting in April 1991, the
University will be using a new grading
system set by the Registrar. This means
that any courses taken in the new Summer Session (old Spring and Summer
Sessions) will be under the new grading
system. The three major changes are:
•Courses will be weighted using
credits, as opposed to units, at a rate of 2
credits = 1 unit — so a full-year course
will be 6 credits, and a one-term one 3
credits. This is the system used in most
universities in Ontario.
•All marks will be reported as
percentages on transcripts, instead of the
current confusing systemofscoresoutof
150 or 75.
•Eleven letter grades will replace
the current first class / second class / pass
/ fail system. 90% or more in a course will
be an A+, 85-89% an A, and 80-84% an
A-; B+ goes from 76-79%, B from 72-
75%, and B- from 68-71%. A C+ is 64-
67%, and a C 60-63%; 55-59% merits a
C- and 50-54% a D. Less than that is still
an F. The changes won't be retroactive: if
you get a 123/150 this year, it will show
in the old system even if you don't graduate until 1994.
Student Senate Caucus (all the
student senators put together) also gave a
notice of motion to form an ad hoc
committee to review the administration
of teaching evaluations. Since itwas only
a notice of motion, there was no discussion
of it: that will happen in October. (For
more info, see the front page of last Friday's issue of The Ubyssey.)
If you have any questions, comments or whatever on the above, or anything academic in general, just come down
to see me. Yes, I need student input I am
supposed to be representing all 4244 of
you on Senate....
Orvin Lau s last name is easy to spell.
Easier to spell is the word, "Oh;" however, it isn't Orvin's last name. He's in
second-year Computer Science, attends
Senate meetings for free, and doesn't
have a subscription to Hansard.
September 19,1990 That's Trivial
(Questions on page 2)
You and Your T.A.
Albert Einstein.
It's named after the Greek father
of medicine, Hippocrates.
A cat.
Leonardo da Vinci.
Andrei Sakharov.
Sigmund Freud.
Benjamin Franklin.
Watson and Crick.
Rene Descartes.
Banting and Macleod — not
Banting and Best.
J. Robert Oppenheimer.
Marie    Curie    (Physics    and.
The ship that sailed Darwin to the
John Polyani.
He had a nose made of silver to
replace the one he lost in a duel —
fought over who was better at
G.W. Leibniz and Isaac Newton,
although today it's accepted that
they discovered it independently.
Bertrand Russell.
Neils Bohr.
Edward Teller and Stanislaw
- by Henry Wu (Zoology) -
- and John Berge«; (Oceanography) -
Well, well. Another school year begins.
For those of you attending UBC for the
first time, welcome — for those returning, no, UBC didn't disappear over the
summer ... last year was not just a bad
dream. This article is not just for "frosh,"
but also for 2nd, 3rd, and 4th-year students (and perhaps nth-years as well)
who have learned to survive seminars
and laboratories, but may not yet have
taken advantage of the helpful resource
known as the T.A. (short for Teaching
Assistant ... not to be confused with
Truant Academic, Troubled Atheist or
Total Asshole, any of which you may
meet from day to day on campus).
Generally as your university career winds down, you will have had some
degree of interaction with your T.A. —
he/she may have successfully ignored
you, or you may have successfully "escaped" from her/his attempts to assist
your learning. With the wisdom of the
ages behind us, we the selfless have decided to put pen to paper and suggest
various ways to improve this interaction.
1) Do not be intimidated by the
T.A. We don't bite. Well, actually, some
of us may if provoked. But at least we're
rabies-free. Most of us, anyway.
m(S 'Briefs
- by Trent Hammer -
Here's a point by pioint run-down of the
AMS council meeting of Wednesday,
September 5.
•Council looked at the Commerce
Undergrad Society's and the First Year
StudentProgram'sconstitutions; they will
be voted on next week.
•Council decided to continue negotiations with the university administration
for a lease of the Barn (it's in the middle
of B-lot). This in no way says we will go
ahead and spend a lot of money on it yet
without having a use for it.
•Council decided to send a letter to the
administration approving of their new
recreation fee (approximately $40) on the
conditions that:
a) it be an optional fee.
b) students have a say in the
administration of the funds.
c) the variety of projects for the
funds may include improvements around
the SUB.
d) other stuff that I seem to have
forgotten because it was late and we
drafted the letter during the meeting.
•Council decided to send a letter to the
UBC students behind the barricades at
Oka to show our support in their taking a
stand. This in no way is meant to show
support for their position, only to say that
we believe students should follow their
•Council heard a presentation on the lack
of daycare facilities for parents attending
UBC. Council set up a committee headed
by Ombudsperson Carole Forsy the to look
into allegations that people lost their status
within the UBC daycare system. If you
have any complaints about UBC daycare,
please see Carole or myself.
•A presentation was made to Council
showing a proposed extension to the SUB.
The plan calls for an extension on the
North side (towards the parkade). The
new extension will be accessible through
a hallway to be built from beside the
Delly in the basement and following the
east wall of the Bank of Montreal. Negotiations with the bank for the space are
forthcoming and for this to happen it
must meet student approval in a referendum or general meeting.
These are the most important things that
I can remember happening at the four-
hour marathon meeting of the AMS, but
I would like to add some things that won't
show up in the minutes.
We've all sat through long classes
but imagine sitting through & four-hour
meeting\ True, there is food and drink
(available to all SUS members, I must
add) and soft leather swivel chairs, but
their novelty wears off at about the time
KurtPreinsperg utters "and whereas" for
the fifth or sixth time, or after the second
or third meaningless motion that always
seems to waste so much time.
It sure would be nice if the AMS
executive could decide a few things before Council met so the Council meetings
could be more productive.
For more information on the happenings in the AMS, please contact me in
CHEM 160 or an AMS executive.
Coming up next week: the Referendum that Never Was. Or that Might
Never Have Been. We'll see.
Trent Hammer, who claims that he likes
to be called Mookah, has never climbed
Mount Everest on a dogsled and doesn't
intend to in the near future. Likewise with
Kilimanjaro and Fuji: but one day he'll
probably own us all.
2) Ask us lots of questions. Remember — there's no such thing as a
"dumb" question. (Actually there are
dumb questions, but as T.A.'s we've
probably already asked the Prof the same
question. Make us feel good by asking
us.) Most T. A.'s are eager and willing to
offer their Jissistance, and are probably
the next best thing to the Prof. We don't
pretend to know all the answers (that's
the Profs job) but at least we won't talk
you ear off about the aesthetics of insect
reproductive structures, etc. For those
students who have had previous bad
experiences with theirT.A.'s, well, you're
probably jerks and deserved it. But seriously, we all have our bad days... give us
a second chance. Remember, T.A.'s are
human beings too (except maybe those
doing physiology degrees... butwe won't
go into that), and will make the time to
answer your questions carefully. We
sympathize with your situation, having
been there before.
3) Remember, we are being paid
to help you. There are probably a few
T.A.'s who may not want to have anything to do with the student—be a good
consumer and demand your money's
worth. Contrary to popular belief, T.A.'s
do not exist merely to make life hell for
the student the union dropped tht clause
years ago. Often, it seems the other way
around — in addition to our own course-
work and research we face pressure form
the Prof and the students to finish marking, set up labs, etc. (Tears, violin solos,
etc. can be forwarded through this publication.)
4) Don't expect the T. A. to do all
the work for you. Remember, even in the
face of bribery with cash, sexual favours,
etc., no student has yet figured out a way
to get a T. A. to write the final. An
additional note on bribery: this is strictly
forbidden. For the subtler student: should
you find your T.A. in the Pit or in line for
morning coffee, do you think it would
improve his/her attitude towards you if
you sprung for a cold brew or a cinnamon
bun? Actually, even acknowledging her/
his existence with a smile and a greeting
will probably accomplish the same thing.
The authors refuse to discuss sexual favours — what do you think this is, the
Engineering newsletter?! For further information on this delicate subject, students are directed to AMS President Kurt
5) Flatter the T.A. Ask her/him
about Grad School, his/her research, and
don't be afraid to ask about things outside
the lab material: which courses are "easy,"
where to buy the cheapest beer, etc. Egos
are marvellous things.
6) Finally, know the limits of the
T.A.'s extensive powers. We can't alter
University policy at the drop of the hat.
We can't (usually) change exam dates,
grant supplementals or even change your
lab section. But we can tell you how to go
about doing any of the above. We will
even take complaints about the course
and pass them on.
So take heed of our words of enlightenment (we may set a surprise quiz
for next week). Best of luck with the
school year.
Henry Wu and John Berges are actually
the only two TA.'sat the university. Their
work on cloning is the best in the field.
Special Advertising Feature. ..
This is the story of a lonely computer scientist. He didn't have any
friends, couldn't get a date or play
any sports, and didn't have time to
Now that he belong to the
Computer Science Students Society
he has lot's of friends, still can't get
a date, went first in the NHL draft,
and gets even less sleep. He's also
got a caffeine addiction to boot. But
he has a hell of a lot of fun.
Come join the CUBE. We
have always been the most active
science department and this year we
intend to keep it that way. Join our
sports teams, get help with your
computer assignments or just stop
by for a Coke. We also rent lockers
in the Computer. Science building,
which stays open until 11:45 PM
for late access. Get a life — join
•First of the year CSSS B33R Bash
•Thursday Sept 27 1990 from 5pm to 8pm
•Located in CSCI 464
•All CSSS members will receive one FREE refreshment
Lockers are available in the Computer Science building. Why
there, you ask? Because that particular building is open from
7:30am to 11:45pm (and maybe more). CSSS members receive
(along with other benefits) a hell of a deal on rental rates. Come to
CSCI (Comp Sci) 203A for more information!
The 432
September 19,1990 43Z CUP
The 432 Cup will be awarded to the
First Year Science student who accumulates the most Sports Points over this
year! Trophies will also be given to the
top male and female athletes in Science!
YoUZ 0*>H NAMg
V- }
Being AMS Pres
Answers to That's Trivial Contest,
from Last Issue
The four elements were earth, air,
fire, and water.
The seven planets were the sun,
the moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars,
Jupiter, and Saturn.
4261 in Babylonian numerals is
<v> <v> < v> <v> v> v>< < <
< < < V. The symbols can be in
any order; the Babylonians had no
place value.
Hippogriffs eat lotos blossoms.
A trebuchet uses a counterweight
system to launch boulders; a catapult stores energy in a spring or
The Crab Nebula supernova was
observed in A.D. 1054.
4 in Roman numerals is mi. "IV,"
being the first two letters of
"rVPiTER," was sacreligious to
use as a number on its own.
Aristotle thought the heart to be
the seat of nervous functions.
Transmuting from lead to gold,
the material became first black,
then white, then yellow, and finally red.
Demokritus is the first person recorded to have suggested atoms,
but he credited his teacher,
Leukippus, for the idea.
The four humours were blood,
phlegm, black bile (melancholy),
and yellow bile (choler). (Note
their colours, in reference to question #9. Mediaeval science was
nothing if not self-consistent.)
The Hippocratic Oath begins,
depending on the translation, "I
swear by Apollo, the Physician,
and Asklepsius; by Hygera and
Panacaea, and by all the gods and
goddesses, making them my witnesses, that I will carry out, according to my ability and judgment, this oath and indenture."
Modern algebra was described by
al-Khwarizmi in Kitabal-Jabr
w' al Muqabala.
14. Eratosthenes calculated the Earth
to be 250 000 stadia in circumference, or 79577 stadia in
15. Orion died while a friend of Artemis — whether killed by her
arrow or by a scorpion, whether
deliberately or accidentally, varies from legend to legend.
16. The seven metals were tin, lead,
gold, silver, mercury, iron, and
17. Galileo first thought Saturn to be
three bodies orbiting each other.
18. Decomposed horse spawned bees.
19. Applesauce, being cold and wet,
offset warm and dry pork chops,
avoiding an imbalance in the four
humours by taking in equal
amounts of the four elements.
20. Stonehenge facilitated almost
every astronomical observation
conceivable. The four simplest are
sunrise, sunset, moonrise, and
Bonus Question (a loose translation):
Abstract: Procedures for the preparation and use of the Philosopher's Stone
are given, based upon the trinary Mercury/Sulphur theory of metals.
Materials:     Mercury, some Sulphur.
Procedure: Solidify solid Mercury
using a suitable quantity of previously
refined sophic salt Heat it in the presence
of air until a black substance forms. Distill the essence (which, in accordance
with general principles, will become iridescent then white). Seal the result in a
vessel with Philosopher's Sulphur, and
heat Regulate heating by watching for
the mixture to turn from a (white) powder
to a (yellow) liquid. As the final product
is formed by union of opposites, the
substance will spontaneously crystallize,
giving the stone (which is red). The resulting substance may now be used to
transmute metals or cure the effects of
illness and age.	
Available now at Science Sales,
room Chem 160!
- by Kurt Preinsperg -
"It's your year, Kurt," I was recently told.
"You are the President. It's the year for
which you will be remembered, and
nobody else."
After six months in this job —just
how glamourous is it? I want to answer in
two parts: What issues have I faced? And
what lessons have I learned?
The hottest issue so far has been
the backlash against the EUS nEUSlettre.
Having deprived the EUS of access to
funding, President S trangway has ensured
that resentment will fester and undermine
hopes for a big reconciliation potlatch.
My own stand has consistently been that
a university dedicated to the fearless
exploration of ideas should rely on
people's critical abilities and nof feed into
the small minds of those who want to
abolish injustice by denying others their
freedom of expression. Defending
people's right to express abhorrent ideas
isn't the same as agreeing with them.
Another hot issue was allocating
the SUB Concourse space formerly occupied by Dress-for-Less. A very bitter
conflict erupted when the Global Development Centre — our youngest AMS
Service Organization — was denied
Concourse space by Renovations Committee. Speakeasy and the Ombudsoffice
received two Concourse offices each. The
shortage of office space in SUB has
reached horrendous proportions.
Discussion was also heated about
the B-Lot Barn. Lease negotiations with
the University were dormant for several
years. It seems the terms of the proposed
lease will commit the AMS to carrying
out extensive upgrading of the Barn at a
cost exceeding 1/2 million dollars. If the
AMS invests this amount in the Barn
while at the same time going ahead with
the much-needed SUB Northside expansion, no discretionary capital will be
available for any other projects for the
next five to eight years.
In the crucible of reality, the
promises of politicians tend to undergo a
strange metamorphosis. As AMS
President I had hoped to contribute my
tiny share to making the world a better
place for relationships between women
and men. I wanted the AMS to promote
the cause of improved understanding and
equality between women and men on this
campus by sponsoring male-femalecom-
municaton groups run by a professional
counsellor. Issues which could be
helpfully addressed by such groups
include: changing sex-role expectations,
social inequality, relationships in an age
of AIDS, violence against women, or
male problems with expressing emotions.
But Students' Council made short shrift
of this idea. Several vocal males on
Council felt they were perfectly capable
of relating to women without the benefit
of consciousness-raising groups, while
some female Council members
considered men far too unenlightened for
it to be worthwhile for women to join
such groups.
Student politics has been my
greatest learning experience at UBC—a
microcosm of political reality. Politics is
the art of keeping one's cool in the face of
utter insanity. Survival in politics requires
a keen sense of the absurd and an ability
to be disarmingly nice to one's opponents. Whatever politicians do, their critics are almost always more vocal than
their supporters, because criticizing
someone else's initiatives is a good way
to draw attention to oneself. What position people take on a political issue has
vasdy more to do with their ego needs
than with the intrinsic merits of the position. Appeals to emotion and shallow
sloganeering usually win over calm reason in democratic decision-making. Often the people who win aren't the ones
with clear beliefs and a willingness to
stand up for them, but human chameleons
who have an instinct for what a particular
audience wants to hear.
There is often a discrepancy between the work someone has done and
the credit he or she gets for it. Those who
invest their best energies doing the job
they promised often get bogged down in
the political complexities and are easily
outflanked by those who invest their best
energies playing to the media and telling
everybody what they want to hear. Besides, making headway against established practices requires taking a strong
stand; but any strong stand will lend itself
to criticism; and some dirt of that criticism, especially unfair criticism, will
almost always stick to your name in the
minds of the voting public. Any official
task-oriented agenda in democratic decision-making groups is easily subverted
by the unofficial, socio-emotive agenda
as members' egos jostle one another in
the quest for attention and power.
Being AMS President is a job that
can eat you right up.
Kurt Preinsperg is a UBC Science grad
and Philosophy PhD. student. Visit him
in SUB 256 or attend a Students' Council
meeting. After an article like that, who'd
believe me if I bothered to slander him?
The 432 Contest #2
First Prize: A Science Y-Neek Sweater
Second Prise; Science Boxer Snorts
Third Prize: A Science T-Shtrt
tab reports cosmteia a lo»g*stulttfM for tnat of Abstract, Ftocedure, Observations, and Conclusions- They're dull to writ$» and boring fa read* This h
your chance to change all that* Write a lab report, real or phoay, actual or
wishful, in any discipline of Science — in (tny ether farm* Create a wnwi
cycle, a sculpture, a Jbuge piece of plywood covered lit duct tape lettering *♦.
anything you wan^just SO Jong as it would give your TA,« fright*
Deadline for entries & Wednesday, September 2#th> Subtait your
creation to The 432, care of the SUS office ui Chemistry 1£9, Have fan*
The 432
September 19,1990


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