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The 432 Sep 26, 2006

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26th September 2006
"In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
Carl Sagan
Study: blood better fuel than oil   .+CouP .
J attempt in
Red Cross sees major rise in stocks, pressure
A recent Cambridge study shows
that blood, under the right conditions, is a very effective fuel.
"My inspiration for the discovery was the
Dracula movies," said Dr. David Yuen of
the Cambridge research group, "My cousin
is a huge Dracula fan, so after spending the
weekend with him watching a Dracula
movie marathon, I noticed that Dracula is a
very efficient killing machine, and that he
only runs on blood. I then asked myself,
why couldn't some of our most efficient
killing machines run on blood? I made the
discovery that they can."
Engineer Ryan Clare has already patented
a "blood engine" to make use of the new
technology. "It's loosely based off the internal combustion engine," said Clare, "but it
uses the new fuel blood cell technology
instead of oil as the primary energy source.
Not only will my engine get forty miles per
pint, but its only exhaust will be white
blood cells, which will help combat airborne diseases like syphilis."
The study has gone all the way to the
White House. "This discovery will defeat
global warming," said President Bush in a
recent press conference, "little did we
know that the solution to this crisis was in
us all along." The president also
announced changes in U.S. foreign trade
policy, "we have started exchanging our oil
to poorer, third world countries in
exchange for their blood. This 'Blood for
Oil' campaign will help millions of our
world's poorest enter the 21st century."
"No Blood for Oil" protesters dropped
their picket outside the White House after
Blood for Oil supporters set up camp outside the White House
the press conference. "How could we have
been so naive? The president's plan will
combat famine, drought and a woman's
right to chose. The world will be a better
place with this campaign in place," said
one picketer. Another protester modified
their picket sign from "Bush is the Anti-
Christ" so it would now read "Bush is the
Christ", reflecting the stark change in opinion.
The economy has been drastically affected
as well. "There's no more demand for oil,"
said a representative for Enron, which
recently declared bankruptcy, "without
any demand for our product, we have no
choice but to close shop. There is absolutely no way we can keep up with the Big
Blood corporations like the American Red
Cross and McDonald's. They've put hundreds of thousands of our workers out of
jobs." The American Red Cross was
unavailable for comment.
Colonel Bodu Mahadjad of the Chad
People's Liberation Army lashed
out at the world media during an
interview with CNN's Larry King on Friday. Mohadjad wasn't a guest, but a caller
to the show while Mr. King interviewed
Lacy Peterson's third cousin. Mohadjad
quickly changed the subject to the media
focus on the events in Thailand where general Sonthi Boonyaratglin is leading a coup
d'etat to depose the Prime Minister,
Thaksin Shinawatra. "We've been shelling
the palace in N'Djamena for two solid
months waiting for the leadership to surrender without a peep about it from you
American newsmen! Then all of a sudden,
ten lousy tanks roll down a street in
Bangkok, and everyone starts getting their
panties in a knot." Mr. King interrupted
like a seasoned journalist and asked, "Do
you have a question for Shaniqua Peterson?" It is at that point that Mohadjad
exploded, "You yankees make me sick!
'Ooooh nooo, what's going to happen to
our Kimchi?' Who gives a crap about Thailand! Has anyone died? We've killed 300
people!" When Shaniqua Peterson
responded by mentioning that she had a
boyfriend named Chad, muffled screaming was heard on the line before it went
In unrelated news, the siege of the presidential palace in N'Djamena, Chad was
ended on Friday when the leader of the
siege suffered a massive heart attack.
Apparently it has been going on for almost
two months. Associated Press apologizes
that this is the first time we've mentioned
it. We also would like to point out that
Kimchi is Korean, and not Thai. We don't
know what kind of food is Thai. Reuters
says it's pretty good, though.
The Perry Bible Fellowship
By Nicholas Gurewitch (www.cheston.com/pbf/) Page Two
26th September 2006
Volume Twenty
Issue Two
26th September 2006
Borg Queen
Colleen Atherton
Jack Bauer
Jon Lam
Titan Crew
Andy Martin
Howard Choy
Am an Sehra
Dave Tsang
Alex Lougheeed
Nik Pinski
Paul Lu
Enterprise Crew
SUS Exec
SUS Council
The Candidates
Horizon Pub, Vancouver, BC
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Neighbour of the beast
Andy Martin
As a lifelong metalhead, something that truly perturbs me
about the world today is the
rampant misuse of 'the horns'. I know
it is a minor issue compared to global
climate change, human rights abuses,
genocide in Darfur, and the continuing
pandemic of diseases that stymie the
mass debaucherous fuck-fest we all
need. But at least it's one that I can
probably impact within the space of
this article.
Okay, 'the horns'. For those unfamiliar, it is a 'metal' hand gesture, most
easily made by making a fist, then
straightening the index and pinkie fingers. These fingers then come to symbolize the horns of 'the devil' or 'the
beast'. It is a gesture that has come to
represent all things 'metal', and is
often presented as a form of christening something (an occurrence or item)
as 'truly wicked'.
I love a throwing of a good 'horns' at
the proper moment, and it can be a
very cool thing to see a stadium full of
saluting horns, but more often than
not, they are misthrown, misused,
abused and just generally not understood by the people wielding them. So
let's try to go over these issues in the
time we have left, 'eh?
Issue the First. Throwing them incorrectly. If you are going to throw the
goddamn horns, at least don't look like
a total douche and throw 'frat boy
horns', which is when the thumb is
also straightened. Not only does your
hand now look lame and completely
not-evil, but it is in fact, the American
Sign Language gesture for 'I love you'
[by the letters that are spelled out by
the fingies] (Figure 1). When last I
attended a concert @ the Commodore, I
saw quite a number of these thrown,
probably more than were properly
thrown. Once again, the ability of
those who took the time to learn is
overwhelmed by the sheer number of
those that have no idea what they're
doing. That makes me sad.
Figure 1: Proof positive from the Honolulu airport gift store.
A helpful guide is provided in Figure
2, where one can see the author throw
them from a rock venue's stage. These
are properly thrown horns in the proper situation (providing the song being
played is 'metal enough' (it was)).
Meanwhile, in the same picture one
can also observe, in the audience, the
absolutely worst way to screw up
throwing the horns: throwing the
'hang loose', the Hawaiian surfing gesture.
Fig 2: A wave of metal suddenly hit
with a sudden surf wave of 'what the
fuck' from the audience.
However, this may have been thrown
out of fear of the horns. Some people
refuse to throw the horns out of fear of
incurring their gods' wrath. This leads
us to Issue the Second: knowing what
you're getting into. Most people who
throw the horns incorrectly do so
because they don't know any better.
They've never been exposed to a truly
metal situation in their lives. They are
just all 'Satan! Hear my call and send
me some abercrombies. [goofy laugh]'
They're the kind of people who will
list Nickelback and Audioslave as
metal bands. But other people throw
them incorrectly because they fear
eternal repercussions for doing it
When you throw the horns, you are
making a hail to whatever form of
supreme evil there actually is in the
universe. This doesn't necessarily
mean you're a Satanist, all it means is
that you reply to the situation with a
symbol to remind all around of the
existence of pure evil. This doesn't
mean you're going to hell, but it means
that when you die, you will be willing
to look both your god and his devil in
the eyes and say 'yeah, and so what?'
without a quiver in your voice.
Now, Issue the Third, it's used WAY
too often. Not only in the sheer volume
of horn throwages, but the situation in
which the throwages take place The
slide began slowly when the horns
started finding their way into 'hard
rock' culture...I guess they were lost or
something. Then the dam broke loose
and I start seeing it at soft rock concerts. When I see the horns thrown at a
Tori Amos concert, I wonder what the
fuck the person is doing, because
that's really not the situation [and
you're probably wondering what the
fuck I'm doing at a Tori Amos con-
Figure 3: Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, especially if you
drink enough during said repast to be
wasted for the rest of the day.
cert...ummm...she   was   opening   for
Judas Priest].
The horns are reserved for only the
most wicked of occurrences. Such as
hearing the introduction to 'Raining
Blood' or 'Number of the Beast', or
seeing your math professor swept
away in a flash flood of the blood of
One also has to realize that it is often
much more metal to not throw the
horns. Take Figure 3, one of the more
metal pictures I can find. For those not
in the know, that's Lemmy [of Motor-
head]. If that means nothing to you,
wise up, foo'. That's a 60yo man who
invented speed metal in the 70s and
still fronts the band that could kill
your favorite band by with a simple
blood transfusion. Do you see any
horns? Well, do you, punk? Nope,
detailed analysis of the image shows it
to be horns-free. You see instead someone who prefers to show you his chops
and his undeniably metal attitude
rather than trying to shove an
overused and honestly obnoxious
hand gesture in your face, as if trying
to court your opinion to make you
think he is metal.
And that's what we can end the argument on. The horns are very obnoxious
and they really don't help any situation. If you must use them, use them
sparingly and only when the situation
is completely deserving, like Figure 4.
Figure 4: Jesus loves you. But Slayer is
the king of kings of stage props.
Next writing meeting
Tuesday October 3rd from 3-6pm
Come for food and fun 26th September 2006
Page Three
Togo the flower arranger
News in
Howard Choy
Daisy Chains
There was a friendly little boy
who lived in a village where all
the inhabitants were ninjas. This
little boy was destined to become a
ninja himself, but he was far more
interested in flower arrangements. His
electives in school always pertained to
flower arrangement and in his free
time, instead of playing raid the village with the other boys, this little boy
sat in his garden and picked flowers.
He was a good student of ninjitsu. He
received very high marks for stealth
class and shurikan throwing class so
his parents had very high hopes for
One day, the little boy confessed his
career choice and they simply laughed
at him. They told him, 'Oh Togo,
you're so funny' for that was his name,
and sent him on his unmerry way.
First in a Series
Togo decided that evening to run
away from his ninja village and live in
the mountains where he would eat
berries and arrange flowers for the rest
of his life. He packed up all of his
belongings and set off when he heard
his parents sleeping. He snuck out
without making a single creak in his
old wooden house and ran off towards
Mount Fukuruku. Now Mount Fuku-
ruku was the one place he knew he
would never be found because the
journey there is long and perilous. No
one would believe that a boy his age
could ever make it to that mountain
alone and they would be right. Togo
also knew this so instead of foolishly
attempting to make it to Mount Fukuruku by himself, he travelled first to a
neighboring village of mages and
awoke his friend Richmond. Richmond
was a mage in training and also a fan
of flower arrangements. She, unlike
Togo, was content with her chosen
career path, but was secretly in love
with Togo.
Richmond  was  embarrassed  to have
Am an Sehra
If you want to be a councillor, but were too lazy to run
in SUS elections, we have the perfect opportunity for
Several positions have no candidates running and they will be
filled during the SUS council meeting on Thursday, October 5th
@ 1pm in the SUB council chambers (SUB 206). Be prepared to
make a short speech.
Vacant positions are:
Pharmacology and
Physiology Department
Togo see her without her robes on at
this time of night, for she only wanted
Togo to ever see her when she was at
her best, but was happy about the surprise visit nonetheless.
Togo told her of his plan and she was
apprehensive at first, but Togo's
pained look of desperation finally won
her over.
Richmond also knew the dangers that
lay ahead on the journey to Fukuruku,
so she suggested that they bring Aji-
toro, her older brother.
Togo did not know Ajitoro very well,
but he knew of his abilities and decided that they would be an asset, and
Mount Fukuruku was a big enough
place for them all anyhow. Ajitoro was
at the top of his class in all of his studies and was thought to be a prodigy in
his craft. He loved being a mage, but
he loved his sister more so he was
quick to agree, if only to protect her
from what lay ahead. Together, the
three of them left the mage village and
headed on over to the forest of sui sha
New face-
book feature
Marlon Richmond
Stalking the stalkers
Shy, stalker students are rejoicing as Face-
book, UBCs official social networking service, just introduced a new stalker option,
complete with GPS locator and shower
camera. For the reasonable amount of $400
per month, trained professionals at Face-
book will place a digital tracer inside the
object of your affections body and discreetly install bathtub and shower mini-cameras. Bedroom camera installation was
Reactions from some of UBCs most notorious stalkers were mixed. Said one, who
shockingly choose to remain anonymous,
"I'm disappointed that the monthly cost
does not include the price of the camera or
personal handheld GPS device. Plus the
GPS is only accurate within 100 meters,
which is a disgrace in the 21st century, i
don't know why the guys who installed
the camera's kept giving me odd looks. I'm
considering a switch to the Myspace stalk-
Prefers boxers
er service
Man sues coffee shop for inadequate
warning: beverage too cold
After spilling an iced coffee beverage onto
his lap while driving from a local coffee
shop drive-through, a Michigan man is
now suing the shop for $800,000 in damages and mental anguish. The man claimed
it was a "traumatic experience" that has
negatively altered his life in many ways.
He claims that he was unaware of the
frigid temperature of his Ice Mocha or he
would have taken better precautions with
handling the beverage. The coffee shop
owner said during our interview, "Anyone
who doesn't know the temperature of a
drink that has the word 'ice' in its name
has much more important things to worry
about than a moment of discomfort due to
his own negligence. He sustained no physical harm, there were no damages to his
vehicle or possessions except a brown stain
on his pants, which I am sure is something
he is used to."
Stop sign causes accident
In a case, possibly the first of its kind, 67
year old Arthur Thompson is being sued
by 32 year old Lynn Manaouski for stopping at a 4-way stop sign. In her statement
she described how she came up to the
intersection leading into her downtown
condo and rear ended the driver in front of
her due to his 'complete and full stop'. She
continues to say that in almost two years of
living in this particular condominium
complex, she has not once been behind
someone who has made a full stop at the
stop sign, and that his inability to be 'consistent with typical driving patterns'
caused the accident. As a result, she is convinced that Mr. Thompson is directly
responsible for the accident and should be
held accountable for the incurred costs of
repair to both vehicles. When reminded
that it is the law to make a complete stop at
a stop sign, her abrupt response was "I am
quite capable of deciding when it is a good
or bad time to stop my vehicle."
Manikin's have nice breasts
A man resembling a giant kid was arrested Thursday for sexually assaulting a
manikin at a women's fashion outlet store.
Store clerks describe how the man made
several trips past the manikin, and then
went up onto the podium where he commenced to fondle the manikin's breasts.
When questioned about the incident, he
said "I couldn't help it, she had the nicest
set of tits I've seen in a long time."
r3* Page Four
26th September 2006
SUS Councillor
Now with the sweetness and low
Alex Lougheed
(1 position)
Why vote for me?
For one, if you don't, the spot will be
vacant, and then you have no say on who
SUS council appoints (unless you show up to the
For two, having sat on Social Committee and SUS
council last year, AMS council this year, I not only
know how the university works, but I also know
what there is to know about running events.
For three, I know the ins and outs of the Ladha building, our future home for events, since I sat on the
steering committee.
For four, I have time to dedicate to the job, which will
be dedicated to the job.
I will continue on the legacy SUS bzzr gardens, set by
Sean Kearney, and I will make sure they continue on for the years to come by adding a
framework complete with a proper volunteer recognition system, something SUS does-
n't have.	
(4 positions)
Lauren O'Keefe
I am a second year science student studying
biology. I volunteer for SUS all the time (you may
have seen me flipping burgers at Buck a Burger) and
I already attend the meetings. Last year I was on the
Sports Committee and the PR Committee. I would
like to become more involved with SUS and becoming a General Officer would give me an opportunity
to do so. I am very approachable and am good at listening to other students, so I believe I could represent science students well. Please come out and vote!
GO SCIENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lawrence Ch
Hello there student body of the science
VJ W variety. My name is Lawrence and I am
running for General Officer. With another
school year ahead of us, I am going to work hard to
make this the best science year yet. For those of you
who know me, you know I'm a little crazy. You probably remember me as the guy running around half
naked in a 5-year old pikachu costume last Halloween, or the guy who painted himself blue screaming CSP and Science on Imagine day. SUS needs more
people like me. For those of you who don't know me,
you will know me by the end of the year. If elected, I
plan to constructively channel my insanity to yield a
much more interesting science year. Let this be the
year science makes its mark at UBC.
Why should you re-elect Aaron? I have    » ^-, . -i
extensive experience being a SUS Coun- /l^fOIl   wl-tlOta
cilor for 2 years, currently serving as SUS
General Officer. I will continue to address issues that |
matter to science students including concerns about Jj
class sizes, professor evaluations, the availability and It
expansion of tutoring services for core science class- I
es, and what students feel need to be improved with- I
in our Faculty, if re-elected to council. I would also I
consider setting up a suggestion box/feedback tool so I
science students can provide direct input into cur- 1
riculum and credit changes within Science courses. I i'
will be a strong voice advocating these and other con- j
cerns for best interest of the Science student commu- I
Questions- feel free to email me a.sihota@yahoo.com
The first step to a happy life is to vote AARON SIHOTA for General Officer-its true, as
cited in the Journal of Health Science (2006). SO remember vote AARON!
(4 positions)
Jennifer Tsoung
Hey guys! I'm coming back for Round
Two and running for the position of SUS
General Officer. I hope you guys thought I
did a good job last year as First Year Rep, enough that
you'll vote for me this week at the polls. This time
around, I'm much more familiar with the way things
work, what you guys want to see happen, and how to
make it happen. We've got an amazing Executive
team this year, and I'd love the chance to be able to
work with them on council to bring you the crazy
events you want. So please take the time to come out
and vote for your fellow science students, and please
tick off the "Jennifer Tsoung" box on the ballot, and I
promise I will party hard with every one of y'all this
Niki Liang
Remember me as ATP girl or as the Biology Department Rep of last year, who
plugged herself into the reverse cellular
respiration formula?
[ATP (me) + CO2 (your complaints, questions) +
H2O (soothing beverage) —> Well Balanced Year of
Oxygen (Academics) + Glucose (Entertainment)]
Well, THIS YEAR I'm running for the position of
General Officer and have decided to compare myself
to the enzyme, kinase aka. "NIKINASE." I, NIKI-
NASE will use my previous experiences (ATP: member of 3 committees, organizing/hosting the Prof Talent Show) to phosphorylate you into having a high
energy, fantastic year! Also, true to enzymatic nature,
I shall be efficient, regenerating myself to keep
responding to your voices and concerns. But, to make
this all happen, I will need a positive ionic inspiration in the form of numerous votes
from YOU! So vote for Nicola (Niki) Liang because a vote for Niki is a vote for Science!
George Ko
tie change is good.
GEORGE KO. That's me. However, you
can call me Jorge or rather "horhay" since
that nickname has been sticking. I would
like to be one of your General Officers for SUS. why?
I believe I have a strong ability to bring members of a
community together for a common goal. I enjoy being
active in the community and helping out where I can.
I want to make life easier and your experience in the
faculty of science fun. enjoyable, awesome. I'm passionate, i love science, i love ubc. i love life, i love
lamp. Those who know me, know that I'm a genuinely friendly guy. And I'm easy going and
approachable. I would like it if all of you felt comfortable to tell me your concerns and thoughts
because I will definitely try to voice them as your
general officer. Remember: "Vote Ko for G.O." A lit-
Tahara Bhate
Who? Tahara Bhate, 2nd yr (biochem),
candidate for General Officer.
Why? Up until last March, I didn't know
anything about SUS, apart from the fact they existed.
To most science students, SUS is some nebulous
entity, untouchable by the average student. My goal
is to change that perception. I have 3 points. First, I
want to institute a weekly mailing from SUS to all science students, so they know what's happening with
their student society. Secondly, SUS beer gardens are
legendary, but over 1000 of our students can't attend
them; underage students need parties too. Lastly, I
want SUS to be more active in ensuring professorial
standards. This issue affects all of us, and as the primary advocate for science students, it's up to SUS to
make sure we all get the education we deserve. Feel free to e-mail me (taharbha@inter-
change.ubc.ca) if you have any questions. 26th September 2006
Page Five
Election Candidates!
calorie goodness of aspartame!
Sophy Zhang
(1 position)
Greetings PhysAstro students! My name is
Sophy Zhang and this is my 5th and last
year in Honours Biophysics. Before I
leave, I'd like to serve on SUS again as P&A department rep. I'm responsible, articulate, and proud to be
in physics. I know how SUS works because I held this
position last year, attended every meeting, and liked
it a lot. This year I want to focus on getting student
ideas, suggestions, and complaints regarding courses, instructors, and TA's to the department as well as
to SUS. And of course, I will also let you know of
exciting SUS events. Besides SUS, I'm also involved
with Physsoc and Biophysics Society and I hang out
in (and often clean up) the Physsoc lounge. Einstein
said, "Politics is for the moment; an equation is for
eternity." You work on the eternity; let me worry
about the moment. Vote Sophy!
Tamara Bercht
Clark Funnell
(1 position)
Greetings! My name may sound familiar
to many of you politically involved types.
Yes! It's true! I, Clark Funnell, am the
younger brother of the ever-energetic and tirelessly
devoted science senator, Cameron Funnell. By giving
me your vote you'll not only put a competent, hardworking candidate into office, but you'll also help to
facilitate the creation of a SUS political dynasty,
known as the "Funnellators" that will continue to
grow as the tens of love children that Cameron has
already fathered become university-aged. Come one,
come all and vote in the SUS elections and vote
YES (oh yes!!! oh yes!!!) for Clark Funnell! Email me
at clarkfunnell@gmail.com with any questions
(1 position)
Hello everyone, I'm Raymond Pan. Sometimes people call me Peter or Pan. I'm in
4th year Biochem. To all 3rd year and
under, if elected not only I'll "hook you up" with
"resources" to help you succeed in your classes, I will
also push for more extra-curricular activities to relax
from memorizing those reaction mechanisms or structures. Also, my goal is to provide access to more career
info. Finally, to all the 4th year, I will make sure it will
be a memorable last year in many ways. So Vote RAYMOND PAN for BIOCHEM Rep!
Raymond Pan
Yes I'm back, and better than ever. After a
year being your First Year Rep. I've definitely learned lots of do's
and even more DON'Ts. Unlike other candidates I
won't be talking about the same ol' "qualities" that
people claim
they have. Actions speak louder than words. I will
however, promise to digest all the ugly, verbose
updates about the
Biochem department (YEAH BIOCHEM!!) and spit at
y'all in an interesting way cause you never know
when you're gonna
miss course req. changes and miss out on that Med
school all your parents are dying for. So vote me,
Bruce Lee, for Biochem rep!
Rebecca Abernethy"
(1 position)
Hello fellow science students!
m Rebecca and I'm running for the position of Biology Department Rep. I am a
3rd year Animal Biology Major and absolutely love it!
I have a year of experience on SUS Council as I was a
General Officer last year. I enjoyed it so much I'm
back for more (hopefully). I'm highly in favour of
maintaining the excellent social and academic activities SUS organizes and if you feel the same way, support me!
September 27th-29th vote YES for Rebecca for Biology Rep!
Microbi & Inrmunofogy Departrnent Rep:
(1 position)
Chris Wu
Emily Chen
(1 position)
General Science is a cool major where students can have the freedom to study what
they love  without being restricted by
course requirements. Is this how you feel too? Then
you must come out and vote for Emily Chen as your
next General Science Representative!
Who is Emily Chen? I am a 2nd year General Science
student who is passionate, caring, and positive.
Besides full time school, I am also an Assistant
Instructor for Sport Kickboxing. Vote for me and
YOU will not have to be scared walking alone anymore. There will be lots of fun times and opportunities for General Science students to speak up for
themselves. I will make sure that all that you have to
say will be passed on to the SUS council. No one,
messes with a General Science student.
Get involved now! Come out and vote for Emily
Chen as your General Science Rep!
Jamie Kirtz
Geoff Costeloe
(1 position)
Sandy Ho
(1 position)	
Jimmy Yan
Hi there fellow first year Science students
(and a high five to all those out in CSP!
Whoo!). For those of you I do not have the
pleasure of sharing any classes with, my name is
Jimmy Yan and I'm running for the position of CSP
representative this year. My main motivation is that I
want to get out and become involved to make this
year a really great experience for those who are in
CSP this year. However, I still want to stay actively
involved with the rest of first year science body. I'm
not competing against any of the fine candidates who
are running for general first year rep, but as a separate position all together. So come on down to the
Chem B and Hennings buildings on September 27th -
29th and bring you student cards and VOTE JIMMY
YAN for CSP RepHhanks a bunch. Page Six
26th September 2006
Oh Dear God will the candidates ever stop?
(2 positions)
A O     1 Hey people of First Year Sciences at UBC
XAJTian   Oeni a (how's the adjustment going?). My job is
to convince YOU TO VOTE FOR ME for
FIRST YEAR REPRESENTATIVE ON THE S.U.S.Council. Now, I've sat here and pondered for hours as to how to get you to vote for me, and the best idea I've come up with
is to tell you how I plan on making this the greatest year for FY. Science students at UBC
ever. First off, I have the experience needed to succeed, as I was the Student Council
president at my high school in my grade 12 year. Not only that, but this year, I'm also
involved with the First Year Committee, am a member of about a gazillion clubs (8), and
play various intramural teams.
Anita Yuk
VOTE POLLY. I have an easy name to
remember, even though by now you probably would've shaken hands with loads of
people and forgotten their names, you'll most likely
remember mine. I want to represent you, because
YOU, deserve a voice, and mine can be nice and loud
or attentive and not so loud compared to yours when
I'm listening. I'm sure I'm taking exactly what most of
you are taking in terms of courses. Dreading some
courses, and not really loving all the others. So, if you
ever get the chance out of your busy schedule from
coming out of Tim Horton's to head the SUB, Vote!
Vote Polly for First Year Rep! I'm in science, I'm keen
and I'll REPRESENT! Peace. Plus, I'm sure most of
you have classes in Hennings or Chemistry B anyway
(that's where the voting booth will be). Word.
Polly Kwok
Sonja Babovic
Hi, fellow Science students! My name is
Sonja and I am thrilled to be in this amazing faculty. I think that we have a lot of
spirit and I hope to work towards making Science
events even more fun! I am running for First Year Rep
because I would like the opportunity to do something
that will really benefit all of us Science frosh. An
example of something I would like to get involved in
are parties that will admit under-19s (because there's
a lot of us!).
I also hope to represent first years in academic issues.
I know this is a somewhat scary time for many people (including myself!) and I think it is really important for Science students to have a person who they
can voice their concerns to. I'm looking forward to
working closely with the other SUS members and the
AMS to make Science even better!
Curious about the coolest
sounding degree at UBC?
Join us for our annual
Date: October 5th, 2006
Time: 11:30 AM -1:00 PM
Location: Hennings 307
Email us at:
The BioPhysics Students Society..,
for Y-U-K.
Week 4 of school has barely started and I
already feel swamped with homework
and the looming presence of labs and
midterms. That's why I want to be your First-Year
Rep. Sound illogical? Four weeks put another way is
1/3 of the term (already?!). And if you're like me, you
probably haven't had the time to get involved in very
many activities here at UBC other than the academic
stuff, and are starting to respond to remarks about
your social life with "Life? What life? I'm a first-year
science student." For sanity's sake, that has to change.
If elected, I will work with SUS to organize activities
knowing full well just how precious your time is.
Then I will advertise advertise advertise! to get you
involved. After all, you pay the $22 SUS fee too. So
get involved.Start by voting. Have your say and vote
Hi I am Stephen and I am running for
First Year Rep. position. Well pastfew
days at UBC was a *BLAST*! The first day
at UBC, we had our Imagine Day (imagie WHAT?)
and who cant forget our geeeeeky cheer? 'S-C-SCI-
ARE SCIENCE AT UBC!' And who cant forget the bitter cheer? 'Its OK Its aright you got the BRAIN, We got
the MONEY' I would like to prove other faculties
especially COMMERCE that we can Study and Party
harder than any other faculties! So if you want somebody who can rock your first year put a BIG X beside
the name STEPHEN YOON on your ballot! If you
have any question, feel free to give me a SHOUT! And
definitely coffee is on ME!!
Stephen Yoon
Alrighty kids, pay attention!
This could get a bit confusing...
Gone are the simple days of Webvote. This year, we're
running elections by paper ballot, so that means you'll
need to know where and when to go and vote!
Think of it like a treasure hunt... but the treasure is democracy!
Scents ce one
Vou can v
Psychology, Microbi S, Bio students
vote at Bio orWesbrook!_
Biochemist? Pharmocotogfst'
the W°odward Concourse.
First Years, Chem &. Phys/Astro students can
vote at Chemistry B or Hennings!	
Wednesday Friday
9:30AM - 1:30PM
Chemistry B
Biology Building
We s brook
EOS and CS
can vote at
either EOS
Chemistry B
Biology Building
ICICS/CS 26th September 2006
Page Seven
The mangled drawers of SUS
Sean Kearney
Vice President External
ey all! I hope school has treated
you all well thus far!
I've been pretty much concerned with the
happenings of Science Week 2007 (YAY
SCIENCE WEEK!) and the affairs of AMS
On the Science Week front:
- I've got a tentative schedule of events
up, see your club/ department rep for it.
- If you have any ideas for events during
Science Week drop me a line!
- We need volunteers for everything from
ticket sales, promotion, sponsorship,
event planning, to bartenders and booth
Email me at seankearney@shaw.ca if
you're interested!
At AMS Council:
- Last week things got pretty spicy with
GSS grievances, next week should be
entertaining. Show up on Wednesday
September 27th at 6pm for free food and
endless debate! So things are going
smoothly and hit me back if you'd like to
help volunteer or manage Science Week
Matthew Naylor
Executive Secretary
The first couple of council meetings
have gone really well, and it looks as
if council is going to be really good
this year. My own personal project for the
year will be the production of Science
Tome, akin to the EUS Handbook, to help
record this history of SUS, procedures
from past years, and other traditions of this
fine institution.
For example, did you know that SUS has a
time capsule north of the Great Trek Cairn?
This is the type of thing that must not be
forgotten. I hope to be reformatting our
constitution a little to account for this, in
addition to working on it for the new
building. Now, Code and Policy should be
working on this soon, after our new councilors are elected (GET OUT AND VOTE!).
I would like to congratulate the winner of
the Lunch with Me (or maybe that should
be 'console the winner'), Jessica. If you are
wondering 'What the heck is he talking
about?' perhaps you should have read the
I have some ambitious plans for this
year's Code Committee and Council.
Come out and share your ideas - Id love to
hear how you think SUS should be run.
Jamil Rhajiak
Dir. of Sports
Hey everyone, So LongBoat is upon
us and for all science teams that
have registered and are playing
under the "Science" unit there is a 30%
rebate on your registration fee! Apply for
your fantastic rebate online at
www.sus.ubc.ca. As far as other things
go...I'm really busy, and may be going
insane sometime in the near future. Also,
the next great thing from UBC REC is
Urban Challenge coming up in October.
Keep your eyes and ears perked for more
info on this CRAZY event.
Cameron Gerald Funnell
Student Senator
ello Science,
Senate met on Wednesday September
19th. It was an exciting meeting as it was
the first for our new President (and Senate
chair) Professor Stephen Toope. For the
most part I think people were quite happy
with his charin' style. The meeting ran
very smoothly, but it will be interesting to
see how he handles things when a more
contentious meeting comes up.
Senators were informed of a decision of
the Council of Senates (the "Super Senate"
that deals with conflicts between the UBC-
V and UBC-O Senates). The Council has
approved the granting of UBC degrees to
alumni of Okanagan University College
(OUC), provided that the parchments
issued bear both the date that the degrees
were first conferred by OUC, and the date
the degrees were converted to UBC
degrees. Some student Senators here at
UBC-V felt that granting retroactive
degrees was unfair, as OUC students never
actually attend UBC. I feel that the inclusion of the dates on the diploma is a good
compromise. But as this matter was
referred to the Council, it's beyond the
purview of the UBC-V Senate. (That's what
"Super Senate" is for I guess.)
The  Council of Senates has  approved
changes to its membership for consideration by the Provincial government. The
plan is to have three students (including
one graduate student) on the Council from
each Senate. This is a good step as right
now there are no designated student seats
on the Council. At UBC-V we passed a
motion to change the composition of the
Council until the Provincial government
changes the University Act to reflect our
proposed changes (which takes a LONG
time). It's kind of sneaky, but five standing
committees have been created, each with
one member who will act as chair. As of
now there are lots of spots on the Council
for committee chairs, and by creating theses committees the desired makeup of the
Council can be achieved.
And finally we received a report from the
VP Academic and Provost on the status of
his project to separate interdisciplinary
studies from the Faculty of Graduate Studies. The plan is to create a "College for
Interdisciplinary Studies" led by a Principal. It's a huge administrative shakeup,
and some people are wary of the plan. Senate passed a motion to refer the matter to
the Senate Academic Policy Committee for
That's all for now. If you have ANY comments or concerns about ANYTHING academic happening on campus. Please let me
know. That's what I'm here for. I promise
to complain to someone on your behalf.
Be good,
Reka Pataky
Vice President Internal
Well,  I've  been incredibly busy
since school has started, getting
back into the swing of classes
and helping to plan an great fall for SUS!
The First-Year Committee met for the
first time on Tuesday, Sept. 18 at 5:00 pm
and we had a great turnout of over 20
people! We had fun (or at least I did...)
getting to meet everyone and figuring out
what we could work on for the term. If
you're still interested in joining the FYC
but missed the first meeting, fear not!
Send me an e-mail to vpi.sus@gmail.com
and I'll add you to our mailing list.
As you can see by this issue of The 432,
Fall Council elections are in full swing!
This is the first time in a few years that
we've had to vote by paper ballot, but
we're looking forward to the challenge
and thing it will be a great way to make
SUS even more visible during elections
week. Please come out and vote (and get
your friends to vote, too!). All unfilled
positions (Geography, Compsci, Psychology, Math, EOS, Science One and Pharmacology/Physiology) will be appointed
by SUS Council on Thursday, Oct. 5 at
1:00 in SUB Council Chambers (SUB 206).
Come one, come all!
Lastly, I'm also in the process of planning
our annual SUS retreat to Whistler for our
Councillors and volunteers. It looks like
it'll be a great time, and we'll get a lot
done as we plan our direction for the year!
Colleen Atherton
Dir. of Publications
We will be having our next publications meeting on Tuesday October 3rd from 3-6pm.
Come by for a little bit or the whole time.
I promise to bribe you with pizza! The
place to be is Rm 94 in the SUB (the IFPO)
which is across from the copy center in the
It doesn't matter if you have no ideas, that
is what publications meetings are all about!
We will have some ideas and there will be
others around to brainstorm with you. This
is your big chance for fame and fortune at
UBC or at least a little notoriety.
Diana Diao
Public Relations Officer
Hey guys! I hope everyone has settled into the semester and is having a good time. I just want to say
that Bling Bling was a success, Science
came in second place with a total of $480!
With that said, Bling Bling was only the
first fundraiser and there shall be more to
come. I am hoping to host a game show at
the beginning of next semester to raise
money for charity and will be needing
LOTS of help. Those of you with crazy,
fun, creative, and wacky ideas (involving
the different faculties on campus, or even
professor participation) for this event
PLEASE join the PR Committee at the first
SUS council meeting after the elections are
over. Speaking of elections, please run for
a position! Then join the PR Committee!
You know you wanna...
Nominate a great prof for the Faculty of Science
Killam Award for
Teaching Excellence
It doesn't take much, just a few lines or a
few pages telling us how great your prof is!
But hurry, the nomination deadline is
I October 13, 2006
so drop off your signed nominations to the
Dean of Science Office (Biology 1505)
The432 presents this health tip: wash your hands often Page Eight
26th September 2006
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