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UBC Publications

UBC Publications

The 432 Mar 22, 1989

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MARCH 31st  4:32 PM
ygCAidiives Serial
Volume 2, Number 12
March 22,1989
Storm that Sucker!
hauls a member over the trembling Wall. Though they didn't make the finals, 7
Science teams did. Details on page 7.
The Science Men's
Heavyweight team
Science Election
The science elections for next year's executive were held March 8-10.
In total 422 Science students voted. As a result of these elections, Ari
Giligson was elected President, with 308 yes votes vs 69 no votes; Catherine
Rankel was elected Internal Vice, with 307 yes votes vs 58 no votes; and
Keith McCall was elected Sports Director, with 314 yes votes vs 54 no votes.
For the 3 contested positions, the results were very close., with no
candidate getting more than 60% of the vote. The successful candidate for
External Vice turned out to be Antonia Rozario, who had 232 votes, which
were more than Annette Rohr's 173 votes. In a very close race, Sanjay
Parikh's 199 votes barely exceeded David New's 192 votes for (he position
of Executive Secretary. Next year's AMS rep will be Derek Miller, who had
233 votes compared to Julie Memory's 161 votes.
To summarize here is a list of next year's S.U.S. executive council:
Ari Giligson
Catherine Rankel
Antonia Rozario
Sanjay Parikh
Keith McCall
Derek Miller
Thanks to all the Science students that voted, as it was your input that made
the difference in the elections.
In this issue
Last Class
Bash      4
Letters                   2
Black & Blue
New Editor             5
Comp. Sci.
Sexist Trash           5
Sports                    7
Storm the Wall        1,7
Dik Miller
Uncle Rusty           2
I.N. Stein
Well, that's it for me as editor. (What a
relief!) To get a taste of the weirdness
in store with your new editor, see p.5
I.N. STEIN „«,<»
■tr e ntn
As I.N. STEIN is a copywritten cartoon, if you wish to reproduce it you must
have written permission from the artist, Ken Otter. Contact through the 432. THE LAST CLASS BASH - MARCH 31!
Ask Uncle Rusty (plus letters)
University of Hawaii stating that I had
been accepted next fall to do graduate
studies with full scholarships. Outta
Since it was still early in the afternoon,
I decided it was a perfect time to take
Wilbur, my truck, into the garage to have
it looked at She had been running real
bad of late and I suspected she may need
major work. I dropped the truck off and
then went to enjoy a few hours of shopping at the mall. I would need some extra
cash, so my first stop would be the bank
machine. I don't know how it happened,
but I intended to withdraw only $40, but
so^dofbirds singing ollideitry*wih-J; the}new bills must have been sticking
I always enjoy reading your letters but
I notice that most of the letters that you
print are usually sad and depressing with
unhappy endings. Since this is the last
edition of the school year, I thought I
would submit a letter that is happy and
upbeat, just to assure you that not
everyone's life is filled with misery and
This morning, I awoke a full twenty
minutes before the alarm sounded and,
amazingly, I was completely rested and
wideawake. Ihadfeeenawakenjgdbyjjie
dow. Last year's family of song sparrows had finally returned. Too much!
Later, after a nourishing breakfast, while
walking to my car, I spotted a penny on
the sidewalk.l "Find a penny pick it up;
all the day you'll have good luck", I sang
to myself as I scooped the penny. Being
a numismatist, I automatically checked
the date on the coin. I couldn't believe
my eyes: it was a 1923 King George
penny! It was worth at least $12. This
day was certainly starting out fine. Little
did I dream that this good fortune would
continue all day long.
During my first class that day, my
Biomechanics mid-term was handed
back. I thought for sure I had failed it, but
somehow I managed not only to pass, but
I had earned a second class. Wow! My
second lecture of the day was Genetics.
Oh, how I tiate Genetics—but what luck
— the lecture was cancelled: ol'
Beethead must be sick. Excellent! I was
finished for the day and not only that, but
I didn't have any homework. Therestof
the day was mine. I quickly left campus
for home. Walking to my car, I passed a
red faced security guard awkwardly
struggling to change a flat tire. "What a
gratifying sight", I thought to myself,
"choke on it, cowboy". When I was
leaving B lot, the gate was broken and
the toll arm was stuck in the up position,
so I saved myself a quarter. Right on! To
celebrate my good fortunes, I stopped at
the 7 - 11 and bought a Big Gulp and a
pack of World Wrestling Federation
sticker cards. I paid the cashier with a
two dollar bill, and yet she gave me
change back for a five — but wait —
there's more! When I opened the package of stickers, there was a Hacksaw Jim
Dugan card inside — my very favourite
athlete and the one card I needed to
complete my sticker album. Neat-o!
I raced home and turned on the box
just in time to catch the Channel 13
daytime movie. What luck! They were
showing First Blood, one of my all time
favourite reruns. While I was watching
the movie, I was interrupted by the door
bell. It was my neighbour, and he had
just returned from a weekend fishing trip
and had caught so many fish that he
wanted to give me a mess of fresh Rainbows. Too cool! I returned to the movie
but was interrupted again, this time by
the telephone. It was the host of Dialing
for Dollars. I gave him the correct answer to the trivia question and instantly
won $388. Super! After the movie was
finished, I went down to check the mail
and to my surprise there was a letter from
my landlord, announcing that due to
some new tax law, he was able to reduce
everyone's rent beginning next month.
Far out! There was also a letter from the
together because the bank machine spit
out $80 at me. Bonus! Next stop was
Zellers where they were having a book
sale, and can you believe it, they had a
copy of a $65 Chemistry text book that I
needed an it was on sale for $7.99.
Bargain! When I finally went back to the
garage to pick up Wilbur, the mechanic
told me that the only problem was that
one of the spark plug wires had come
disconnected, and now that it was refitted, my truck would purr. I asked the
mechanic how much I owed and she just
smiled and said, "No charge". Unbelievable!
On the way home I stopped at the
video rental store. I had been trying to
rent Bull Durham for weeks but it was
always out—but today there was a copy
on the shelf. Goforiti Upon leaving the
video store, I noted that there was a new.
restaurant next door, celebrating its
grand opening, and there was a woman
in a blue kimono standing outside giving
away sushi samples. Yum! I love sushi.
I drove home and effortlessly found a
parking spot right in front of my building, without having to circle the block
three times. Awesome! As I was unlocking my apartment door, I heard the
phone ringing and somehow I managed
to answer it in time. Incredible! It was
my mom, and she was calling to tell me
that Woofy had just given birth to 7
puppies. Dyn-o-mite! The phone was
destined to ring one more time that evening. Thereisabeaucoupfemaleinmy
Geology class that I have been trying to
date for about a month. She phoned to
tell me that her parents would not be
using their Cabin at Whistler this weekend, and asked me if I would like to
spend the weekend there with her.
Well, I'm just so overwhelmed with
the remarkably splendid day that I just
had that I'm, like, in a total funk. I hope
this letter will put some cheer into your
day too, UNCLE RUSTY.
Unfortunately, UNCLE RUSTY, has not
been seen or heard from in recent days
and we fear the worst. - Ed.
Editor 432,
All right you pikers, this is just to
bring you up to date: on the 6th of this
month we kidnapped UNCLE RUSTY
and sent you a ransom note for a piddling
$500. No answer. Then, three days later,
we call to see if you got the note and your
secretary says you don't accept collect
calls. So we send you his ear in a little
box, just to show that we're not kidding.
Still no answer. We can/t believe it! So
we send along the other/ear and his nose.
Still nothing. So we upthe ante, sending
a finger or toes every day for a fortnight
and an eye or a gland or something on
weekends. Okay, we give up. We're
mailing you under separate cover the
unused portiom of UNCLE RUSTY. But
we've still giot Dik Miller, Campus
Cowboy so you better fork over or you '11
be opening your mail with rubber gloves
until next Christmas. This is no joke; this
time we mean business.
There are very good reasons for us not
accepting collect calls: people abuse
them and we end up losing a lot of
money. As for all those COD packages
you sent: we don't accept them either, so
I have no idea what you are talking
about. As far a$ having Dik Miller, you'd
better see page 5. Jeez. Some people. -
P.S. You're very lucky we printed your
letter. You didn't sign it.
Editor 432,
Spring is finally here. At last! Celebrate
it: Smell the fresh air. Go for a stroll
through the park. Walk on the grass.
Pick a flower and kill it Throw a rock at
a bird. ... Hey! Somebody throw a
bucket ©? wtm on those 2 dogs!
Jeff Shantz
A man for all seasons
Er.. .yeah. This is certainly an interesting
way to end off the year. One of these days
I'm actually going to find out who this
Jeff Shantz person is. - Ed.
The Teaching
Excellence Award
by Mike Everson, Academics
Last year a new award was created by
the Science Undergraduate Academics
Committee. The Academics Committee
felt that those professors that were exceptional instructors should receive
some recognition. As a solution, this
award was instigated.
While nominations are open, students
are allowed to nominate their profs by
gathering ten signatures and describing
their nominee. Each one of these profs
are then evaluated by their classes using
a fifteen question questionnaire. These
are the results that the award mostly is
based on. In addition, each of the nominees are also visited by two members of
the Academics Committee. These
members are mainly there to introduce
personal experience in case of very close
scores or a tie.
This year however, a tie could not be
broken and there are two winners. They
Dr. W. Danner (Geology)
Dr. FJ.R. ("Max") Taylor
We, the Academics Committee, wish
to commend these individuals for then-
exceptional achievement in teaching.
We also wish to commend those that did
not win. Overall, the decision was aver/
difficult one and we wish to emphasize
that all of these profs are exceptional
teachers.   Also presented with certificates of nomination were:
Dr. Sastry Bhagavatula
Ben Clifford
Dr. B. Gorzalka
Dr. C.EJR. Orvig
Dr. B. Ramey
Dr. K.W. Savigny
Nominations for Science Convocation
Speaker are now open.
Please send resume to Dean of Science
office (Bio Sci rooml507) by
Thursday, March 23
Kular Sudan Weekend March 24-26
Sign up and pay by Wednesday March 22,
1PM in the Science office (Scarfe 9) or the
BIOSOC hut (M32 - see map outside Bio
Sci 2000), Maximum 8 spots open!
Briefing meeting Wed., Mar. 22,5:30 P.M.
outside Bio Sci 2449.
March 22, 1989 TlilE LAST CLASS BASH - MARCH 31!
Does it really curve?
by Russ Monger, baseball junkie
At the turn of this century, there were
two major debates in the world of sport.
One of these controversies was settled
almost immediately when it was shown,
by use of time lapse photography, that all
four feet of a galloping horse, if only for
a brief instant, are off trie ground at the
same time. The other main controversy
was to rage on for another half century
until the 1950's when it was finally determined to be true that a human being
could throw a baseball and make it
The curve ball controversy was fueled
by two national magazines, each using
elaborate photographic techniques to
between the ball and the air flow is no
longer uniform. This brings a lateral
force into play which drives the ball in
the direction toward which it is spinning.
This is known as the Magnus Effect.
(Sikorsky also discovered that a curve
ball does not travel in a straight line and
then suddenly "break", but rather that
the curve ball follows an arc from the
moment it leaves the pitcher's hand).
Here is a simple look at the physics
behind it all: FirsUet'sexamine the ball.
It has a rough horsehide cover sewn with
heavy stitching. The ball is thrown with
a certain velocity (v). Because of the
rough surface a certain amount of air
actually sticks to the ball, causing a
"boundary layer" to build up. This layer
(high velocity;
low pressure)
bill it thrown
in this direction
air velocity is in
this direction
(relative to ball)
(low velocity;
high pressure)
back up their defences. Life magazine
(and other skeptics) claimed that a
thrown baseball curving from a straight
path was only an optical illusion. On the
other hand, Look magazine countered
with this logic: "Isn't it odd that the
optical illusion only occurs when someone tries to throw a curve ball and never
when a fast ball is attempted?"
During the fifties, renowned international aircraft engineer Igor Sikorsky
thought the problem was purely one of
simple aerodynamics. Sikorsky used a
wind tunnel to show that a human being
can indeed throw a baseball and make it
curve. He reasoned that the principles
which cause a ball to curve in flight
would be the same principles that prevent an airplane from falling from the
sky. Sikorsky concluded that, according
to Newton's Laws of Motion, when a
ball is in flight but not spinning, it is
exposed to a uniform air flow, so it will
follow a straight line unless acted upon
by a force. But where does the force
come from that will cause the ball to
curve once the ball has left the pitcher's
hand? The explanation usually given is
that the ball is spinning as it leaves the
pitcher's hand and this spin causes the
curve. This is correct as far as it goes.
When the ball is made to spin, friction
of air very close to the ball has approximately the same velocity as the ball
itself. The velocity of this layer is shown
as (w). If we take the thrown ball as our
reference, we can see that the total velocities on each side of the ball are different As seen in the diagram: side one has
a velocity of v - w = VI while side two
has a velocity of v + w = V2. Since V2
is greater than VI, the total velocity on
side two is greater than the total velocity
on side one. In accordance with
Bernoulli's Law, pressure decreases
when associated with an increase in
velocity. Because the two velocities (V1
and V2) are not equal, there is a pressure
gradient across the ball, with the air
pressure on one side greater than the air
pressure on the other. This pressure
gradient results in a force on the ball
which causes it to curve.
When totaling the velocity of the air
and the velocity of the boundary layer,
two obvious simplifications were made.
First, the boundary layer actually has
varying velocities depending on the distance from the surface of the ball. Secondly, all the components of velocity
around the ball such as friction and air
density are involved in the total force
exerted on the ball. The amount that a
thrown ball will curve is certainly influ
enced by these other factors. This may
answer a question which has bothered'
players for years: Why should a curve
ball be easier to throw in Vancouver than
it is in a place like Phoenix, Arizona?
The climate in Vancouver is humid,
whereas Phoenix has a dry climate, and
these differing conditions affect the
thickness of the boundary layer, causing
the velocities to vary, therefore affecting
the pressure gradient. With dry air, the
boundary layer is thinner and the ball
will curve less. Interestingly, the application of a foreign substance, such as
Vaselineor spit, on the surface of the ball
will effectively increase this boundary
layer which will in turn result in a greater
curve, thus giving the pitcher an unfair
advantage over the batter. (Another consequence of this is that a
ball will travel further
when hit in dry air. This
may explain why teams
playing in drier climates
hit the ball further than
when playing in colder
Why can some pitchers throw a better curve
than others? To throw a
good curve, optimum
velocity of the ball has
to be combined with
optimum spin. A
greater number of revolutions will result in a
greater curve. (The
maximum spin put on a
baseball by a pitcher has
been recorded at up to 27 revolutions per
second, causing a curve of 15 inches
over the 60 foot 6 inch distance from the
pitcher's mound to home plate). More
velocity will cause the curve to reach its
maximum later. By varying velocity, a
pitcher can cause the curve to maximize
either as it crosses the plate or just in
front of it. However, if the ball is thrown
too fast or too slow, with too much or too
little spin, the optima won't be realized
and the ball won't curve as much as is
possible. Some pitchers have the ability
to combine these two factors consistently to get the maximum amount of
Spin is applied to a ball by snapping
the wrist out and down. The spin on the
ball is created! by rolling the ball over the
index finger. All pitchers do not get the
same results from similar grips on the
ball. Some grip the ball tightly; others
loosely. Correct grip must be determined through experimentation. Also
the more down motion that can be given
the wrist, the more the ball will drop
rather than curve out This is the better
type of curve ball pitch as the chances of
hitting it are less as the ball will curve out
of the hitter's line of vision
On This Date...
March 26 1937 - As a tribute to his well
known fondness for spinach, the residents
of Crystal City, Texas, dedicated a statue of
"Popeye the Sailor" during a local Spinach
March 29 1848 - For the first time in recorded history, Niagara Falls stopped flow
ing, a phenomenon that filled nearby residents with fear. By the next afternoon, spectators lined the river banks, exploring the
exposed river bed. The explanation of this
freak of nature came later: a heavy wind had
started the Lake Erie ice field in motion and
tons of ice jammed the river's entrance near
Buffalo, damming the river for almost thirty
hours. When the dam broke up, the water
cascaded over the Falls once more and people
in nearby areas began to relax.
April 21902 - Thomas L. Tally opened the
first moving picture theatre at 262 South
Main Street in Los Angeles. The proprietor
advertised that featured films to be seen
were 'New York in a Blizzard' and The
Capture of the Biddle Brothers'. (Tally's
venture was not entirely devoted to moving
pictures. He ran it in conjunction with a
This is the last
issue of The 432
for 1988-89.
The 432 is published by the Science Undergraduate Society of the
University of British Columbia,
located in room 9 of the Scarfe
Education Building, 2125 Main
Mall, Vancouver, B.C., Canada,
V6T1W5. Phone (604) 228-4235.
© 1989 SUS Publications.
Volume 2, Number 12, published
Wednesday, March 22,1989.
Editor: Derek K. Miller
Contributors: Russ Monger,
Kyle R. Kirkwood, Derek Miller,
Aaron Drake, Ari Giligson,
Gautam Lohia, Johan Stroman,
Irene Dorocicz, Julie Memory,
Mike Everson, Antonia Rozario
Artists: Ken Otter, Adaitn Chong
Photographic: Derek Miller, Ari
Giligson, Kyle Kirkwood, Antonia Rozario
Typing:  Russ Monger, Derek
Miller, Aaron Drake
Layout:   Derek Miller,  Aaron
Distribution: Russ Monger,
Derek Miller
Printed by College Printers Ltd.
This is my last issue as editor, so I'd
like to thank all of those who've
helped during the year, including
everyone above, as well as Todd
Abiett, Stella Wong, Alistair
Colder, Sebastien de Castell,
Joanne Howitz, Dave
NewLorraine Lewis, Vince Jiu,
Jean Guay, Allan Sharp, and Julie
Thomson, as well as everyone else
who contributed, criticized, or at
least read this rag. Good luck to
Aaron Drake, your new editor. It's
President: Martin Frauendorf
VP Special Events: Hob Purewal
VP Publications: Coniah Cheang
Treasurer: Gavin Fung
Dept. Reps: Yvonne Lee
Kathleen Lee
Yearbook Editor: Cristina Maceda
Positions are still open lor (ilrad Rep
and Sports Rep.
Interested? Come to Comp. Sci.
room 203A or call 228-3033
March 22,1989 Scientific Productions Presents
the (in)famous annual
Friday, March 31,1989
SUB Partyroom
4:32 P.M. - 9:30 P.M.
Live music by The Juan Valdez
Memorial R&B Ensemble
Tickets $3 (including free beverage) at
Scarfe 9 and AMS Box Office. Buy now! THE LAST CLASS BASH - MARCH 31!
Dik Miller, Campus Cowboy
I was looking forward to exam time.
It's the one time of the school year when
students are so stressed out that they
don't have much time to cause mischief,
but lots of them park illegally - ideal for
a campus cowboy. As usual, I was cruising around in my souped-up, stripped-
down, lean-mean-Main-Mall-machine
royal blue Chevy Bel Air, looking for
by-law contraventions and chowing
down on a six-pack of Nuffy's.
"Miller," crackled the CB in the midst
of one of my mouthfuls.
I grabbed the microphone. "Yephs?" I
"What's wrong with your voice,
"Nophing, shir." I swallowed. "I was
just eating a doughnut"
"Oh. Why were you doing that?"
"Because I was hungry."
Realizing the futility of the current
train of the conversation, my supervisor
got back to the reason he had called.
"There seems to be some sort of disturbance at Buchanan Tower. Go over and
take a look, will you?"
"Yes, sir." I eased my way along
University Boulevard, made a left onto
East Mall, and parked just below the
tower, smiling smugly to myself, knowing that my car blocked most of the road.
"What seems to be going on here?" I
asked one of the people in the crowd
milling about the bottom of the tower.
She simply pointed upwards.
Peering up, I could see a lone figure
perched atop the tower, shouting unin-
telligable things.
"Is he going to jump?" I inquired.
"Is she going to jump?"
"I dflft't know. Sheesh. You think
you'd be able to tell a man from a
woman, anyway."
"I only had a brief glance. I was mistaken."
"Why did you assume it was a man
I was a bit taken aback. "I have no
"Sexist slimebag."
"Now wait just a minute..."
'This is just an example of how this
society slaps maleness on absolutely
everything. I'm very disappointed in
you." She frowned.
"I meant nothing by it. What was I
supposed to say? 'Is it going to jump?'"
"You could have said 'Are they going
to jump?'"
"But that's grammatically incorrect,"
I countered.
"That's just another symptom of the
sexist language we have to tolerate. How
about 'Is he or she going to jump?'"
I stared. "You wouldn't happen to be
Deanne Fisher, would you?"
"No. Why do you ask?"
"Never mind." I looked up again. "I
suppose I should check on that..." I
paused, "...person."
I heard a muted "That's better" as I
walked through the door and pressed the
elevator call button. Several seconds
later I walked out onto the roof.
"Excuse me, ma'aun..." I said.
"What? Did you say 'ma'am?'"
"Yes, I did."
"Sexist pigdog!"
"I can't be believe that anyone would
be so insensitive a$ to use degrading
language like that on someone who
might be contemplating jumping from
the top of a tall building!"
"Is that what you're planning on
"So what are you doing?" I asked.
Then, pointedly: "Mi'am."
She grunted disapprovingly. "I happen to be relieving the strain of studying
with primal scream therapy."
"Oh, of course," I said. "I don't know
why I didn't think of that earlier."
"I resent that derogatory tone. Do you
think that I'm somehow stupid just because I'm a woman?"
"I never said anything of the..."
"But you were thinking it, weren't
"No I wasn't!"
"Yes you were!"
"Was not"
"Were too."
I glared. "This is pointless."
"Now you're trying to evade my reasoning. Sexist gerbil abuser!"
"Hold on here..."
"Here I am, just trying to get my
Women's Studies project done, and you
just waltz right it, expecting me to defer
to your every whim..."
"Um, you wouldn't be Deanne Fisher,
would you?"
"No. Why do you ask?"
"This is worse than I thought," I
mumbled to myself. "Never mind."
"You know, I have a good mind to hit
you right in the jaw, buster."
I hadn't heard anyone use the word
"buster" since I stopped watching Lav-
erne andShirley. "Fdrather you didn't."
She did. I stumbled backwards and
foundmyselfsteppingrather disconcertingly off the edge of the roof. Fortunately, I remembered my Dik Miller™
packsack/emergency parachute, and
landed safely on the ground a few seconds later.
I resolved that I could not take any
more of this abuse, and decided to leave
the woman alone. Bringing charges
against her would entail listening to her
far more, and I couldn't tolerate that.
I called for backup. As I was doing so,
the first woman walked up to me.
"That'll teach you," she said spitefully.
"Excuse me," I said with a flash of
inspiration. "Would you really like it if I
treated you completely equally, as if you
were a man talking to me like that right
She looked a bit taken aback. "Yes,
well, certainly. I suppose."
So I punched her in the stomach.
Another case closed for Dik Miller,
Campus Cowboy.
11989 Reader Poll
* Since this is the last issue of The 432 for
I the year, we'd like to find out what you
I like and what you don't. The only was
I this paper can remain useful is if it
| caters to what its readers want. Please
| fill out this brief questionnaire, cut it
■ out, and drop it by die Science office in
■ Scarfe 9. Thanks for reading.
3. Would you like to see more of something that appeared in this year's 4321
4. Would you like to see less of something that appeared in this year's 4321
5. Do you have any recommendations
for new additions to The 4321
Regular items: Dik Miller, I.N. Stein,
Lab Lafs, Uncle Rusty, AMS Briefs,
I On This Date, Puzzles, 432 News, Edi-
■ torials, Club reports, Seminars, Cam-
I pus news & events, etc.
I Features: Interviews, Fiction, Science
| articles, etc.
| Layout and writing: Table of consents, Article & cartoon placement,
■ Overall appearance, etc.
6. Are there any items you would definitely like removed from The 4321
1. What items do you particularly like
about this year's 4321
12. What items do you particularly dis-
I like about this year's 4321
7. How often do you read The 4321
(Circle one.)
Every issue
Most issues
First time
8. About how much of each issue you
pick up do you read (in i percentage - eg.
if you read Dik Miller, Uncle Rusty, and
I.N. Stein, but nothing tlse, that's about
<5% 5-10%
10-20%      20-50%
50-75%      75-99% 100%
9. What is your overall impression of this
year's 4321
10. Is publication of The 432 a worthwhile endeavour?
11. Would you accept limited paid advertising in The 432 in order to improve
quality and distribution?
12. Do you have any other comments or
recommendations? (Use separate paper
if necessary.)
Do you really want
to read this?
by Aaron Drake,
Director of Publications-Elect
It was raining on the Thursday afternoon when I walked from The Wall into
the Science meeting. I sat off to the side
and tried to be as small as I could. I
They motioned and seconded and
passed this and that. After a moment or
two Todd Abiett deferred to Derek
Derek fidgeted, harrumphed, looked
the other way, but finally began. He said,
"In lieu of not having a 432 at all next
year, I find myself...oh hell, I nominate
Aaron Drake for the position of Publications Coordinator."
Uh oh. The dark ages begin.
No .seriously, hah-hah, there is nothing to fear. I've got a little change to
make here and there, but it will still be
the same old paper. I will be changing
the name from 432 to Four-Hundred-
And-Thirty-Two, a career move on my
part, I must admit. This is provided we
don't merge with the engineer's newsletter, in which case it will be titled 432
There are a few other little bits and
pieces to be changed. I'm really excited
about the centerfold. Maybe a little
horoscope, and a section on the New
Age. I'll increase the number of articles
on syphilitic diseases - hey, I can never
get enough of them - and maybe a little
corner devoted to The Steroid Of The
Month. Bill Vanderzalm will regularly
submit pieces on growing tulips and
exotic yet illegal plants.
Okay, you caught me on that one.
The truth is, the 432 will remain the
432. Derek has done a fine job, and I
can'tseeagood reason not to continue in
his footsteps, albeit I plan to change the
marks of the footprints a little. Anyway,
you won't be saying goodbye to Derek.
Nor do I see Dik Miller, Campus Cowboy beating a hasty retreat over the
summer. Derek will have his own column, at the very least, and I'm sure he'll
write enough in it to sicken us all. I
shouldn't have written that - he's sitting
behind me.
I know I'm looking forward to being
editor next year. It will be just another
task that will convince me of how much
I really have to learn. When it comes
right down to it, the university is really
a place for discarding knowledge. I
mean, first years (frosh - let's call a
spade a spade) regularly come in here
knowing absolutely everything about
anything, except that they're bubble-
heads, but/ know that. As they progress
into higher years, they eventually begin
to learn that there is so much they don't
know. Eventually, they leave knowing
something about a little field and nothing
about anything else. And they pay to do
this! Go figure.
I'm digressing, I know. What I'm
really doing is looking for a way to conclude this silly piece. Something strong,
profound, yet subtle. Something that
makes us all THE LAST CLASS BASH - MARCH 31!
Don t ISlt WOWn: an interview with Dave Duncan
by Kyle R. Kirkwood
Dave Duncan would rather stand than
sit, mixing in with the crowd that has
come to his book signing at Vancouver's
White Dwarf Books. He is a prolific
writer, sure of his career choice as a
novelist, yet exceptionally modest of his
bardic skills.
A pleasant Sottish brogue gives away
the Calgary writer's ancestral heritage,
but not the fact that he wrote his first
novel two years ago and now has five
novels in print A Rose-Red City,
Shadow, and a trilogy entided The Seventh Sword, with more on the way.
Duncan: I have two more coming out,
and I'm working on a four part fantasy
series, which I hope my agent has sold to
Del Rey Books while I was away... I
know they were talking about it, but I
don't know if they made a deal or not yet.
I'll find out when I get home again next
432: Was A Rose-Red City the first
novel you wrote or were you working on
something before that?
I did start off trying to write short stories
almost twenty years ago now, and got
nowhere. They were very bad. I haven't
sold a short story yet. I gave up, which is
the sensible thing to do because I had a
good job and kids and a house to keep up
and all those sorts of things. I just didn't
have the time to be a writer. I took it up
again in 1984, more or less just for fun.
I had a word processor, and I had read a
book, and I thought "Jeez, it would be
fun to write a book like that," just for
laughs. I sat down and just for fun started
to write a thing called The Seventh
Sword, which ballooned into an
enormous, huge novel, which was too
long and very badly written and didn't
sell. I did get some encouragement from
Del Rey, as a matter of fact [so] I tried an
SF one which never got anywhere, but
sent that around. Then I wrote A Rose-
Red City, which I guess was my third real
work, and that one sold right away, first
time, to Del Rey.
Where did the idea for that first story
originate, or rather the third story, as the
case may be?
Ah, I don't know. I thought I might like
to write a story about the Land of Youth;
I couldn't think of any [though] it's an
idea that is mentioned often enough.
Lord Dunsany, for example, mentions
[it], but never set a story there. And I
thought it might be an interesting thing
to try. When I started I understood why
nobody else had done it, because nobody
is unhappy there or gets old, or dies, so
there's no conflict. [Laughs.] So it's
almost impossible to have a fiction set
there, so it works rather like Hansel and
Gretel's father's cottage; they start there
and go off into the forest and have their
adventures and then they come back to
the safety of the cottage at the end of the
story. So, you see, the city of the book,
Mera, is the safe haven from which [the
characters] start and to which they return
at the end. But you can't do much in the
Land of Youth itself. When they are
outside they are mortal.
You mentioned Lord Dunsany.
Lord Dunsany. He was a lord, or actually
something like a 17th baron, or something of the sort. He died in the fifties. He
wrote a lot of very fine fantasy, but it
seems to be forgotten now: The Jurken
stories, and Lazy Days on the Yen.
Have you been influenced in your writings by any authors in particular, for
example Lord Dunsany?
Well, he was certainly one. A newspaper
recently compared me with C.S. Lewis,
which is enormously flattering of
course. I don't really believe them, but it
felt good. I am a great admirer of some of
C.S. Lewis' work, [but] the newspaper
compared my Seventh Sword trilogy to
The Chronicles ofNarnia, and I can't see
any resemblance between those two at
all. [Grins.] They are entitled to their
opinion, I guess.
Any other authors?
Tolkien, of course, is a big influence.
And [David] Eddings. He has been
enormously successful and he is a very
fine writer. Oh, all the great SF writers:
Asimov, Bradbury, and all the rest of
them we've all been brought up on. I've
been reading the stuff since the forties,
so I've read them all.
You spent thirty years as a petroleum
geologist. Has that influencedyour writing?
No, but I think you'll find in my books
the scenery is always believable, and
that's not true of a lot of writers.
Your trilogy, which was the first book
you started working on, The Seventh
Sword, has areligious air about it rather
that the more common fantasy/myth
elements, like elves and fairies.
Well, that would be the C.S. Lewis influence coming out. If you think of Out of
the Silent Planet -1 think it had another
name on this side of the Atlantic - but his
three books about the journeys to Mars
and Venus [The Adventures of Dr.
Ransom]...he tied in classical religion
with SF, in a very individual sort of way.
So maybe I have been copying him a
little bit. It's almost impossible to write
a book without copying someone, you
realize; there are always going to be
The Swordmen caste in The Seventh
Sword is reminiscent of knights of chivalry, but more so of the Japanese samurai. Am I reading that into it?
No, I don't think so. I think to think it is
sort of original because of the caste system they have there [in the book]. Everybody has to have a mentor, and once you
get up to a fairly high rank you start
having proteges of your own. Maybe
behindalittlebitofit you might find it's
a little bit of a school story...
School days.
Yes, the old school days. Nnanji works
his way up from second rank...[to] seventh, sort of like taking exams. So that if
I didn't consciously put that in... There is
an awful lot of stuff in stories I find that
Science Year
End Dinner
Tickets now on sale
for only:
Dinner @ Las Margaritas
Thurs., April 27,1989
House party afterwards
All Comp Sci students
welcome - not just grads
Come to Comp Sci 203 A or
phone 228-3033.
I consciously don't remember putting in.
Your subconscious plays strange tricks
when you are a writer.
How much time do you spend on a novel?
Well, the first one, A Rose-Red City,
came out less than two years ago, and I
have five out now. I am only going to
have one out this year, and at least one
next year, so I am averaging somewhere
between two and three a year. But that is
all I am doing. If you compare me with a
lot of writers, they are teachers or doing
other things, and their writing is sort of a
sideline, but I am a novelist. That is what
I do for a living at the moment, so I've
got to keep churning them out
Do you have a favourite story?
I think The Seventh Sword, the trilogy,
particularly the last book. I like the way
it all came together in the end. [Pauses.]
That is, of the books that have been
published so far; I have a favourite that is
not published yet.
Can you give us a hint as to the title?
It's called Magic Casement, and I think
it's going to be volume one of a four-part
series, called A Man of His Word. Actually, I wrote Magic Casement almost
three years ago, and it ended in a cliff-
hanger and I didn' t know what was at the
bottom of the cliff. So I couldn't sell the
book, and I couldn't write the sequel. I
went back to it last year and tried. I
rewrote it, because my style gets better -
always have to polish it up. I started on
the sequeL.and that didn't seem to work
so I gave it up. Then last summer I went
back to it again and this time I went and
got a grant from the Alberta Foundation
for the Literary Arts, to complete a trilogy, of which this is the first volume.
Once I had accepted their money I had to
finish it or pay the money back, and then
I knew I would do it. It looks like it's
going to require four books, but I pretty
much have two and three roughed out
now, so I am fairly happy with it. But I
think the first one is the best thing I have
done. We'll see.
The 432
March 22,1989 THE LAST CLASS BASH - MARCH 31!
Sports Points & Awards
by Gautam Lohia, Sports Director
It's nearing the end of a very successful year for Science in Intramural Sports
and it is because of all you great participants out there.
Science gives awards to Science students who participate substantially for
Science in sporting events throughout
the year. Participating in Intramural
events and the Science Tricycle Race
contribute to an individual's point total.
Points are given to individuals on the
basis of participation and, to a smaller
degree, competition. The distribution is
oudined below.
Previous years' points can be added to
this year's total. If you filled out a points
form last year, we probably have a record of it. If you do not have enough
points this year, fill out a form anyway,
so we have a record for next year.
Awards Breakdown
Awards are given as follows:
25 pts. small Science badge
50 pts. medium     Science
100 pts. large Science badge
200 pts. silver "200" badge
The top three male and female participants receive Science Sports Championship T-shirts (full sleeve, good quality)
as well as commemorative medals for
1st, 2nd, or 3rd place.
To obtain an award, fill out the Science Sports Points Form (available in the
SUS office in Scarfe 9) according to the
guidelines below and submit the form
back to the office by Tuesday, March
28,1989. The forms will be reviewed by
the Science Sports Council and the
award decisions will be made. Awards
will be given out at the Science Sports
Awards Luncheon on Thursday,
March 30,1989. Food and drinks will
be available.
Point Guidelines
For all categories marked with an asterisk (*), the following bonus points are
1st place finish:   3 pts.
2nd place finish: 2 pts.
3rd place finish:  1 pt.
1 pt./game
SPIRIT RISERS fCorec)  2pts./event
Softball I and II, Wallyball I and II,
Broomball I and II, Curling I and II,
Cricket, Team Ultimate Frisbee
under 5 km
5-10 km
2 pts
10-15 km
3 pts
above 15 km
4 pts
Arts 20
4 pts
Centipede Run
4 pts
Logan Cycle heats 2 pts.
Logan Cycle finals 2 pts.
All others 2 pts.
(Criterium, Hill Climb, Mad Melvin,
Sprints, Time Trials, Circuit)
Super Century Recreational Series
1 pt. per ride
2 pt. bonus for all four
1 pL bonus for doing three
TOURNAMENTS* 3 pts./event
Golf, Tug-o-war, 3 on 3 Basketball, 3
on 3 Volleyball, Sub 5'8"/Sub 6*
3 pts./event
6 pts.
3 pts.
SPECIAL EVENTS*        4 pts./event
Day of the Long Boat, Grouse Mtn.
Ski Challenge, Cypress Bowl Ski
Blitz, Spanish Banks Downhill Derby,
Storm the Wall
1 pt./game
No points for drop in events
All points are cumulative from year to
Veer end
downhill iirriiv
SOFtralt. (SPRING)
1   ON   3   VOLT.RVRAT.T.
SUB  5/8
The winning Science Men's Heavyweight Tug-o-war team in action.
by Gautam Lohia,
outgoing Sports Director
The Wall didn't fall!
The Wall didn't fall!
Todd Abletf s team went over and the
wall didn't fall.
Yes, it was Science's goal to make
some dent in The Wall this year, and we
tried our best. Todd put together a 1340
lb team (that's an average of 268 lbs. per
person) to accomplish this task. But,
The Wall held it's ground (and Todd's
team made it over) We should commend
it's creators for doing a fine job.
We should also congratulate Intramurals for doing an excellent job with
Storm the Wall this year. They had to
cope with 482 teams (a new record), bad
weather, and wet paint on the wall; but,
they pulled through and made it a fun
event for everyone.
Science had an excellent showing
once again. The final team totals are not
ready yet, but Science finished with at
least 50 teams (probably more). And
along with the good turn-out, we also
placed incredibly well. Here are some of
the highlights:
1. Science had 7 out of 16 teams in the
Faculty men's finals!! These teams
were the Free Radicals, the
Highwaymen, Bio-Hazards,
Biosoc, Undertoads, Science
Stormers, and the Science Wall
Weevils. Congratulations to all
these teams. Considering the fact
that there were almost 120 teams in
the Faculty Men's category this result seems even more outstanding.
2. The Free Radicals finished 3rd in
Faculty Men and 4th out of all the
teams with a time of 14:38 min.
3. The Science Co-rec team, Gotcha,
finished 1st in the Faculty Co-rec
category with a time of 16:38 min.
4: The Science women's team, the
Storm Babies, finished 6th in the
Faculty Women category with a time
of 20:27 min.
5. In the Grad Students category, the
Biochem Grads took 2nd place
(16:07 min), while the Diffy Q's
from Math took 3rd (17.16 min). It
was a tough battle!
We have 250 Science Storm the Wall
badges - 5 per team for 50 teams - for
those teams that stormed for Science. If
you haven't done so already, you can
pick up your badge from the SUS office
(Scarfe9). Inall.itwasagreatStormthe
Wall. Come out again next year and
storm for Science.
The 432
March 22, 1989 Year end
Stock yp on Science clothing
for spring and summer,
Sweatshirts (4 colour)
All T-shirts
Real Rugby Shirts
Small Melton Jackets
Prices in effect Mareh 13=81= Las!
©han©e before the end ®f itennni.
y      1 ■•       *    r
*     4
* -f«i   !»»» *»■'• *
' *;<
rH*  s.
Please fill out one column for every different science course you take by placing the rating number in the spaces provided. If you
have more than one prof for a course, fill out for one prof of your choice. Please drop this off in Scarfe 9.
5=Strongly Disagree
l=Strongly Agree
2=Mildly Agree
4=Mildly Disagree
1) The instructor's writing and diagrams were useful.
2) The instructor explained ideas and theories clearly.
3) The instructor made this subject interesting to me.
4) The instructor's assignments were helpful for a full
understanding of the course material.
5) I found the pace of the lectures comfortable
considering the level of difficulty of the course.
6) The instructor established office hours and / or
was available for appointments.
7) I would recommend this instructor to other students.
8) Course material was presented in a well
organized manner.
9) The course required a significant amount of effort.
10)' The course required rote memory.
11)1 would recommend this course to other students.
2 §
2     -R 5
"*   3        •*    3
w_     no     no     no     n o     PS     So     2 o     2o     2 o
o_o     °-°     °- °     tt- O     Q.O     rto     O-O     0_O     Q.O     D.O
Do you feel strongly about some of your profs? This week is your last chance to rate a professor in the Black and Blue Review. By filling out the Black and Blue Questionnaire, you can tell the rest of Science
about both the good and bad profs you have encountered this year. Not only do you help those in lower years to choose their courses, but those above you help you as well. Questionnaires are also available
from the SUS office (Scarfe 9) or any science club office. Please return the Questionnaires to Scarfe 9 by Friday March 24.


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