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Discorder CITR-FM (Radio station : Vancouver, B.C.) Feb 1, 2003

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hosted by DANNY MICHEL
SHARI ULRICH & & DAMHNAIT DOYLE |
BLAIR PACKHAM with sPecial suest
doors 7:30 pm, show 8=00 pm BILL HENDERSON      v;
1 SATURDAY FEBRUARY 22
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The Widows by Agata and Anka p. 13
Eddie Izzard by Merek Cooper p. 14
Beautiful Music by Susy Webb p.l 5
Bruce McCulloch by Luke Meat p. 16
Order From DiSCORDER:
A 20 Year Retrospective p. 17
DiSCORDER Cover Gallery p.20
_
Music Sucks p.4
Panarticon p.5
Fucking Bullshit p.5
Airhead p.6
Vancouver Special p.8
Strut and Fret p.9
Roadworn and Weary p. 10
Screw You and Your Pointy Shoes p.l 1
Radio Free Press p. 12
Under Review p.26
Real Live Action p.30
Leprechaun Colony p.34
Charts p.35
On the Dial p.36
Kickaround p.37
Datebook p.38
f5«T
Aliens have been controlling DiSCORDER for the past
twenty years and only now have we broken free!
We have tried to communicate this fact to you via a
picture by Jim Cummins. He also designed the covers
for issues #15 and #148, and refutes all claims of
association with the Pod People. Riiiiiight. We believe
you, Jim. Go tell your alien overlords we're slaving
away like good drones.
Editron:
Chris Eng
Ad Master:
Steve DiPo
Art Director:
Russ Davidson
Production Manager:
Merek Cooper
Editorial Assistant:
Donovan "R.I.P." Schaefer
R1A Coordinator
Gaby
Website Design:
Esther Whang
Layout and Design:
Russ, Chris, Merek
Production:
Christa. Just Christa. And The
Ubyssey, as always
Masthead Photo:
Shawster
On the Dial:
Bryce Dunn
Charts:
Luke Meat
Datebook:
The Limey
Distribution:
Matt Steffich
US Distro:
Frankie Rumbletone
Publisher:
Linda Scholten
© 'DiSCORDER" 2003 by the Student Radio Society of the University of British Columbia. All
rights reserved. Circulation 17,500. Subscriptions, payable in advance, to Canadian residents are
$15 for one year, to residents of the USA are $15 US; $24 CDN elsewhere. Single copies are $2
(to cover postage, of course). Please make cheques or money orders payable to DiSCORDER Magazine.
DEADLINES: Copy deadline for the March issue is February 1 2. Ad space is available until February 19 and
can be booked by calling Steve at 604.822.30J 7 ext. 3. Our rates are available upon request. DiSCORDER is not
responsible for loss, damage, or any other injury to unsolicited manuscripts, unsolicited artwork (including but not
limited to drawings, photographs and transparencies), or any other unsolicited material. Material can be submitted
on disc or in type. As always, English is preferred. Send email to DiSCORDER at discorder@club.ams.ubc.ca.
From UBC to Langlev and Squamish to Bellingham, CiTR can be heard at 101.9 fM as well
as through all major cable systems in the Lower Mainland, except Shaw in White Rock. Call the
CiTR DJ line at 822.2487, our office at 822.3017 ext. 0, or our news and sports lines at 822.3017
ext. 2. Fax us at 822.9364, e-mail us at: citrmgr@mail.ams.ubc.ca, visit our web site at www.citr.ca or just pick up
a goddamn pen and write #233-6138 SUB Blvd., Vancouver, BC, V6T 1Z1, CANADA.
We rock the party that rocks the body.
printed in canada
3 DiSCORDER coastal/a
15"SMMuaL v.nrntiwr. thpbqvtsfp music ffsttwsi	
Jeb Bishop trombone       Paul Plimley piano
Rudi MahalLba.s clminit Stefan Smulovitz laptop
Torsten Muller mm      Dylan van der Schyff brums
Mary Oliver mum/noiA joe Williamson bass
Feb 5-8 8PM
r WESTERN FRONT
n 303 E.8,H AVE
Thu/Feb 6     Mary Oliver
FH/Feb 7     8ueH Ma hall t Torsten Hiiller
Sat/Feb 8     Jeb Bishop
Rising in the West:
New Vane rov
J.P. Carter Trio
".it itches
im ngs
Adios
•21
FH
P  CENTRE
111 tMIMHWIII HtUS
showcase of exciting new artists.
Trumpet Player i Composer
of the Year, 2002   DOWN BEAT
Dave    sept;
Douglasi
i*i
Sat/Feb   22   SPN
Pave Douglas trumpet
Seamus Blake tenor saxophone
David Gilmore cuxtar
Jamie Saft keyboards
Brad Jones bass
Derrek Phillips brums
DJ   Olive TURNTABLES I
VANCOUVER EAST CULTURAL CENTRE, 1895 VENABLES ST.
iity ..." NEW YORK TINES
Hard
Rubber
Orchestra
FEA7URIN6 Michael Blake
Sat/Mar    1     8PM Hi »@b ijui miiq oiciiiju
ROUNDHOUSE CONNUNITY CENTRE 181 ROUNDHOUSE NEWS
rd Rubber is...consistently the best Vancouver band
..«nt you can see." DISCORDER
coastal jazz.ca
Ticketmaster ,280.4444
Jazz Hotline 872.5200
Jazz Hotline
miiAic
■■■■■IRIII.RB.
editorializing by Chris Eng
One of my friends called
me today to tell me
that OffBeat was dead.
He had a few other things to
tell me, but that was the first
thing out of his mouth and it
hung between us like the cloying smoke from burnt plastic.
It wasn't a nice conversation,
or one filled with any amount
of pleasantries—it was a functional conversation meant to
convey bad news. And with
that     knowledge     suddenly
DiSfcORDER
guide to CITR >m £>2
eyes. It was still our magazine,
but it became our ugly little
magazine, our backwoods journal—a physical manifestation
of everything that we deemed
was wrong with our town.
DiSCORDER was the source
of information for everything
we felt was unattainable on
the island: great shows, great
music, a scene, culture, the
promise of more—the ability
to simply get away. You could
get your license at 16, but God
forbid you wanted to
go anywhere with it.
"Are the ferries running?" As if you even
had the ferry fare. The
Strait was a prison
wall—low but nearly
insurmountable,
hemming us in—and
DiSCORDER kept
bringing us news from
theo
So
at hand, I find it hard to be
excited about the milestone
that is DiSCORDER's 20th
anniversary.
I was twelve when I first
discovered college radio.
Huddled beneath blankets late
at night at my grandparents'
house, I discovered a radio
station unlike any of the other
commercial pablum clogging
the dial and I promptly made
some covert request calls
that would never be fulfilled.
(Because who in God's name
would play the soundtrack to
Howard the Duck, even if they
had it?) In point of fact, the DJ
that night told me that if 1 was
so interested in the station and
what records they had, I should
come up and see it for myself,
and, while I was at it, stop calling them. I paid my community
membership within a week and
was station gofer (or maybe
mascot) within a month. There
was no DiSCORDER at CFUV
then. There was no DiSCORDER
to be had anywhere in Victoria.
There was Offbeat, though.
And while, at the time, I
was wide-eyed with wonder
at its newness and splendour, I
can't help but think that in the
end we all took it for granted.
Offbeat was our magazine,
yes, but as my friends and I
grew older and began to go
to Vancouver, we discovered
and brought back copies of
DiSCORDER, and Offbeat made
a rather nasty transition in our
we        sat
and    looked    in    at
Vancouver's non-stop
parade of excitement
in      its     alternative
monthly and went to
shows and hung out
and drank and wished
we    had    something
better to  report the
ways of the world
to us. Even after some of us
started writing for Offbeat, we
couldn't still help but want our
magazine to be DiSCORDER,
to transcend our smalltown
limitations.
And maybe that's what
killed it. Maybe we didn't love it
enough. Oh, we loved it, but we
Even though DiSCORDER turning 20 is a
momentous and historic occasion, I can't help
but think that its moment has been dimmed
by Offbeat's passing and that we may have
lost something more than we gained.
Winnipeg—and even though
DiSCORDER turning 20 is a
momentous and historic occasion, I can't help but think that
its moment has been dimmed
by Offbeat's passing and that
we may have lost something
more than we gained.
Happy birthday, DiSCORDER.
Goodbye, Offbeat.
On another down note
(this is the 20th Anniversary
issue—isn't this supposed to be
a festive occasion?), some bad
news has just come down the
pike in the alternative scene.
Some news which makes it
more important than ever that
we try and consolidate our
community and keep looking
out for one another. I know
that some of you have gotten
this email already, but not all
of you have and if one person
misses it, that could make all
the difference in all the wrong
ways.
Thanks, Mar, for sending
the word out. Be safe and vigilant, everyone.
SUBJECT: IMPORTANT
VANCOUVER SHIT
Date: Tue, 21 Jan 2003 18:57:
46 -0800
At a show at Pat's Pub
on Friday January 17th, a girl
at that show decided to walk
home alone along Hastings and
was attacked. She was pushed
into a car, then driven to a park
where two guys raped and
beat on her. She fought back
and managed to get away.
They  drove  off  leaving  her
4 February 2002
loved it like an abusive older
brother that constantly abuses
and belittles his younger siblings. We loved it because it
was ours and we loved it for its
potential, but most of us never
loved it for what it was and
even less of us realized that
it could have been what we'd
always imagined it should have
been, if only we'd put forth the
effort. If we'd only believed in
it standing on its own merits.
And it languished, both economically, and in our hearts
and minds, and most of us
never realized what we'd had
until we turned around and
saw that it was gone.
So tonight one of the last
independent media outlets in
Canada is dead. Only two college radio magazines exist in
Canada today—DiSCORDER
in Vancouver,  and Stylus  in
alone there.
She was lucky to get away
and make it back to her place
alive, but it seems like these
fuckers will probably do something like this again and maybe
the next time someone else
might not be as lucky....
It sucks that we can't feel
safe walking alone, and there
are sick fucks out there... but
it's sooo much better to be safe
than sorry. So please please
please be careful. Try not to
walk alone, and if you do just
be very cautious. Watch out for
your friends. Make sure they
get home safe. Just be careful.
So please pass on this
information to everyone you
know. Description = vague. Two
guys, mid 30s? One white guy,
kinda fat, and one black guy. A
light coloured car—that's all I
know. • lanarticoii
the sound of spectacle by tobias
fucLiiiQ I>mIIW
bullshit by Christa Min
TWENTY YEARS OF
DISCORDER & LINDA
SCHOLTEN
...to clash, and tension from the
failure to reach agreement...
dissonance, dischord, inhar-
mony... A confused or harsh
mingling of sounds. Rampant
incompatibility. A distopia
of Discordians. DiSCORDER.
Twenty years of dissent, and
a name that still confounds
everyone I meet: what does
DiSCORDER mean? All, more,
none: DiSCORDER is what you
make it, and so far... it has
made it. DiSCORDER is one
of Canada's longest-running
underground and indie 'zines
(if not the one and only). A 'zine
that has sprouted from a small
yet fighting rag to an accomplishment of slash-n'-burn
journalism, punk pernicious-
ness, and granulated gonzo.
At times light and frothy,
DiSCORDER nevertheless
packs a secret blow from the
left and an urgency brought on
by more than just deadlines.
Congratulations, DiSCORDER,
to all the staff and writers,
photographers and behind-
the-scenes slaves, to everyone
who has held it together, to all
the Editors who have put up
with late words and arrogant
abuse and all the writers who
have put up with the dictatorship of Editors, to all the advertisers who have stuck with this
'zine, and first and foremost to
Publisher and Station Manager
Linda Scholten. Linda will be,
at some point soon, leaving
CiTR after guiding this ragtag
and variable conglomerate of
outcasts and hotheaded students since the '80s. Linda has
seen us through thick & thin,
launching high-power FM and
grabbing guaranteed funding and a full-sized Station.
Always on the vigilance against
AMS takeovers and corporate
covert ops, Linda has been the
true rebel leader here at CiTR,
and with a great candy jar to
boot. We will miss you, Linda
(when you finally and actually
leave: the position is open...).
THE NECESSITY OF
DiSCORDIANS
And what are you waiting
for—this is an open magazine,
so get up here, sign up as a
member of CiTR, and throw
it down. This is a good time
to discuss the necessity of
"little" 'zines like DiSCORDER.
The 20-year reign of dissent
is fragile—there are always
threats on the horizon: losing
funding, advertising, writers.
We always need alternate avenues of information and opinion. As the internet becomes
patrolled and silenced, and
mainstream   alternative   left
press muted, the open space
of print 'zines once again
becomes a primary place of
communication. The prophetic
digitization of the world may
still come, but the prospect of
dissident PalmPilot programs
are dim. Movements such as
the Woodward's Squatters
need accessible press that
recognizes their existence and
which they can access. Even in
the age of the Internet, it is still
a question of the materiality of
the situation.
THE MATERIALITY OF
DISSENT
At the August New Forms
Festival panel the issue of the
Palladium chip was raised,
with Paul Miller arguing for
a reactive hack-around and
me calling for pro-active
resistance. Palladium runs all
media (potentially all data)
through an encryption process
that is at the material level of
your motherboard and cannot
be hacked—at least without
hardware tinkering. Palladium
attempts to stop "piracy," but
also acts as a joint corporate-
gov't sniffer inside your box.
Much like the iPod won't hook
up to more than one machine,
a Sony MiniDisc won't USB
transfer your own tracks, and
many CDs and DVDs won't play
on computers, this is a chilling step backwards towards
increasing surveillance and
control.
Tie this into the "new"
Carnivore. Carnivore was
developed by the CIA to monitor internet traffic. The recent
Homeland Security bill calls for
all traffic to be monitored in
real time—and the cost will be
pushed onto the ISP (i.e., you).
Total Information Awareness.
The measure will also allow
ISPs to "hand over content of
their customers' communications without consent based
on a good-faith belief that
there is an emergency," says
Chris Hoofnagle of surveillance watchdog Epic.org. This
bypasses due process through
a Judge; the ISP becomes
wiretap, Judge and Jury. And
although privacy rights may
hold out here a bit longer, ISPs
are primarily American, and
so is the backbone. And this
is what it comes down to: who
owns the material conditions
of possibility for the virtual
world. Geert Lovink points this
out in his book Dark Fiber when
he speaks of the inability for
tactical media to intervene and
cover the Kosovo war. Without
electricity or phone lines,
there is no net resistance.
If access is shut down and
tapped, well...the ghost in the
machine died with the power.
[www.guerrillanews.com/sci-
tech/doc953.html]
IT'S DOWN TO THE THING
Thing.net ISP faces the
immanent loss of its net
access by upstream provider
Verio. Dow Chemical served
a DMCA (Digital Millenium
Copyright Act) complaint to
Verio over a tactical media
site by The Yes Men that was
hosted on Thing. The site
aped Dow for its negligence
in Bhopal, India that killed
thousands of people in 1984.
Thing.net hosts Artforum.com,
Nettime.org, Rtmark.com and
the PS1 gallery among others.
[www.yesmen.org]
"Verio's actions are nothing short of outrageous," says
Wolfgang Staehle, Thing.net
Executive Director. "They could
have resolved the matter with
the Dow parodists directly;
instead they chose to shut
down our entire network. This
self-appointed enforcement of
the DMCA could have a serious
chilling effect on free speech,
and has already damaged our
business."
Forget postmodern remixing. We need to go back to
what Hakim Bey said in the late
'80s in Temporary Autonomous
Zone: we need a counter-net,
not a "culture net on the Net."
The counter-net is a self-sustained alternative. Linux, Open
Source, GNU licensing is excellent, but we need open source
manufacturers of non-monitored hardware and net backbones. Is this possible? Yes.
[http://www.theregister.co.uk/
content/6/26740.html]
CRACKING DVDS
All charges against 19-year-
old Norwegian Jon Johansen
have been dropped. Johansen
cracked the DVD code so he
could play purchased DVDs on
his own computer. Johansen's
lawyer: "[The ruling says] that
when you have bought a film
legally, you have access to its
content. It is irrelevant how
you get that access. You have
bought the movie, after all."
That's right—many new DVDs
won't play on computers. This is
how scared the korporates are
over losing their billion-dollar
profit margins, kids.
PROPOSAL FOR GORDON
HHave you ever noticed
that every time Henry
Rollins is on stage
or on TV his knees are wet?
Actually, if you know him like I
do, you'll know that every pair
of pants he owns has stained
knees. You may have heard
some rumours about Henry's
sexuality, but his wet knees
aren't from kneeling down
in men's public bathrooms,
believe it or not. Most of the
time, Henry's at home, without
a shirt on, sitting in the crevice between the wall and the
dresser in his closet, while he
presses his eyeballs into knee
caps trying to force himself
to stop crying. Henry Rollins's
knees are stained with tears!
TEARS! It's sad and true.
Henry Rollins has no
friends. Everyone knows who
he is, but no one will talk to
him. They're too scared, so
they just stare at him and
make him feel like a freak
show. I'm his friend, I guess,
but he lives in California, so
I rarely see him. I hung out
with him last week, though,
and all he wanted to do was
put his face in my breasts and
SIXTIES
He should be given a bus pass.
That's it. •
Congrats to COPE. Larry
Campbell, you fuckin' rock,
ever since I saw you giving
speeches back in the mid-90s
on drinking & driving. [The
Irony, Oh, The Irony]. Don't let
us down.
make my t-shirt wet. It wasn't
very fun. Anyway, I'm a little
worried because there's only
so much time before he runs
out of blank skin and crappy
metaphors and kills himself.
Everyone should give Henry a
call. He'll probably offer to fly
you down and give you a nice
place to stay. His number's
310-838-7867.
You should also call up
Kathleen Hanna (212-213-
3565). She's kind of a loser,
and spends most of her time
at home playing The Sims or
watching taped episodes of
Kate and Allie. But don't get
me wrong, she's a nice lady.
She bakes good cupcakes, but I
just don't like going over there
to play House and paint each
other's toenails while listening
to the Beastie Boys. It's pretty
boring. I don't call her very
often either because her voice
is too high-pitched. It gives me
a headache. If you call, just say
you got her number from me,
and she'll start clapping and
doing cartwheels, and she'll
talk to you for hours about
stripes and bangs.
I'll   give   you   Morrissey's
number, only because I know
you'll just call to hear his voice
on the answering machine and
hang up. Don't call expecting him to answer the phone.
Morrissey is NEVER home.
When he calls me, he's usually at some mansion party
or secret club totally intoxicated with alcohol and blonde
women's perfume. 1 worry
about him sometimes, but it's
not like he's depressed, so he'll
be okay. He just likes to have
fun. He calls me once every
few weeks, just so 1 know
everything's alright. I always
tell him to watch out for herpes, so if you call, you don't
have to leave a message about
that. Oh, I almost forgot: 323-
295-1221.
Just to show you that I'm
not just giving out my friends'
numbers because I'm mad at
them or something, you can
have my home phone number
too. It's 604-718-1075. Just
remember these three things:
1. Don't call me and ask questions about Morrissey's cock
because that's private. 2. Don't
call me after 9:00PM. 3. Don't
call me. •
THE
CLUB
FRIDAYS   STARTING   JANUARY   31
THE  WEEKEND   STARTS   HERE...
1455
ABBOTT ST.
(AT PENDER)
Grand Opening Party - Jan 31
fab go-go girls    happening prii  i -'-on visuals
lL®V/e lHlafni|©V/er - Feb 14
ron Sarnedi, e.s.q. Liye    romantic giveaways    band at 10;G0, djs at 11:(
T/z/GuTf To \lo£ Syova**«£/z - Feb 28
5 DiSCORDER lear
rani
20 YEARS OF SHIT AND
ABUSE: A TRIP THROUGH THE
AIRHEAD ARCHIVES
"Pee Pee, Pooh Pooh, Bum,
Dink, Fart. There. That should
fit in perfectly with the rest of
that infantile excrement you
pass off as a letters section."
Tony Beavis
January 1984
"Your rag smells worse than
the garbage that's been sitting in our kitchen for the last
month and a half. The only
thing DISCORDER is good for is
killing flies and starting fires."
Scary Failure
December 1984
"The May issue of DISCORDER
is blatantly sexist. It is easy to
understand why so few women
choose to associate themselves
with DISCORDER... The fear of
feminization permeates nearly
every DISCORDER article,
record review, and cartoon.
The message that comes
through is that you don't want
women in your boys' club;
especially not women with
opinions that don't conform
to male standards. You have a
long way to go."
D. Routsis
June1985
"It has come to my attention
that some of the disc and artist reviews in Discorder are no
longer adhering to the Trouser
Press Standard of Avant-Garde
Music Reviews. I feel it is my
duty to reiterate the rules of
this great standard.
1.) If the artists are
obscure, the review shall be
positive.
2.) If the artists are well-
known and popular, the review
shall be negative.
3.) If the artists are well-
known and unpopular (eg:
Frankie) the review shall be
positive.
4.) Each review shall compare the artists to at least
three (3) obscure bands that
only an avant-garde DJ could
possibly have heard of.
5.) If it is necessary to
compare the artists to a well-
known band, the comparison
shall be to the 'early' version of
the band (e.g. early Stranglers,
early Ramones).
6.) At least one new term
for a subclass of music (e.g.
'sludgeability') shall be invented per three (3) reviews.
7.) Every interesting male
voice shall be called a Bowie
rip-off.
1 strongly urge the
Discorder reviewers to shape
up and conforrn to this standard at once, or your august
organ may go the way of the
late lamented Trouser Press
6 February 2002
itself (which, in its last months,
actually started to contain
some intelligent writing). I
have reason to hope, since
about 80% of the Discorder
reviews are already of the
accepted format."
Jamie Andrews
December 1985
"The Discorder covers of
the last year have progressively decreased in taste and
judgement, to the point of
convincing those unwary of
its contents that it is a quasi-
it dull and extremely pretentious, it was poorly designed
and devoid of style... Hopefully,
you'll realize that Discorder's
creative stagnation is partly
due to the fact that you consider yourselves an impenetrable bastion of alternative
culture."
Andrea C.
April 1988
"This is the most vile, disgusting, confusing, hard to understand, opinionated, scary piece
of publication I have ever laid
"We are highly insulted. We,
the children of the first wave
of post punk, commonly known
as Goths, now hold you, your
reporters and your publication
in contempt. How dare you
insult The Mission (June issue)
and what they stand for and
believe in and in turn us for we
are one in the same with them,
sharing their beliefs, etc.
Tne music they create
reflects our emotions and
anguish.
We're sorry, we forget that
today all you posers no longer
find the human experience
such as joy, outrage, hope,
love, jealousy, fear, dreams,
loneliness, and doubt fashionable. The majesty, elegance
and subtle grace of the art has
been spoiled by specifics.
But we do take heart in
knowing that you and your
audience  are  all   pretenders
deaf ears of the hypocrites at
your paper. I have long come
to the conclusion that part of
their 'alternative attitude' is to
mock and disregard anything
that more than .001% of the
population takes part in."
C. Dyson, September 1992
"I know that Discorder has
been an alternative magazine for a long time, and I
feel I have been alternative
for ages, but I get really mad
when you criticize people who
are alternative there are lots,
maybe thousands in this city
who are different and rebelling against society and maybe
you snould realize we are all in
this together. In high school I
was picked on by lots of jocks,
One halloween I spiked my hair
into a Mohawk and went to the
dance. I slammed to the Sex
Pistols and met a girl named
Viswrd&r readers NH-ft -too rvuh -free -time:
C/flss/frfli gull 1      I Uo-th Mfl I    I Mr Oollew toW,
bourgeois sports rock-rag put
together by tasteless, no-time-
for-talent 'students.'"
R. Bucky Fuller
August 1986
"I am having read your
Discorder called "Drugs". I
think you are all horrible
communists and deserve to
die horriblest way which is
possible. Why are you telling
people this drug-things. Also,
you are bad, you never care
someone is going to read this
thing and go for horrible acid
journey, maybe toss his bodie
from Lion's Gate Bridge."
Francoise Hardy
November 1987
"What's happened to
Discorder? I used to look forward to each issue, eagerly
descending on my favourite
record store at the beginning
of every month to pick up a
copy. Now it's become nothing
more than a force of habit, a
habit I intend to break if this
publication doesn't improve
posthaste. The latest issue
(March '88) looks like it was
thrown together for the sake
of fulfilling the claim that you
publish monthly. Not only was
eyes on. Keep up the good
work! I was getting kind of sick
of Teen Magazine."
Lola Strickland
September 1988
"I can't sleep, Uhhh... is 'Yo.
Yo. (ma) Muhthuhfuhcken'
music the best you can do?
I've heard more Alternative
music in Save-On-Foods!... Get
Real.(?)"
J.W. Bacon & Eggs
April 1989
"I recently procured a copy of
the Discorder as I have done
incessantly since discovering
it nearly three years ago, and
after perusing its new 'tabloid'
format I deduced that 'that
magazine from citr' is decaying.
um... it looks real dumb
now, y'know. Like, the other
one was neat and everything
but now it's real sloppy and
stuff. And the letters are to
small too. Y'know how the
other one was done so like
it was careful? I don't know.
Maybe it's just me but it's just
not the same, right?"
Mark Sladen
October 1989
to the throne, simple want to
bes. You'll change with the
direction of the wind, Flavour
of the Month Club. Because
you lack substance in your life
that's why you listen to trash
and insult honest and integrity
filled music.
We shudder to think that
the monumental works of Joy
Division, The Cure, Bauhaus
and such uninfluential bands as
Skinny Puppy, Alien Sex Fiend,
Psyche, Killing Joke, Teardrops
Explode and even The Damned
have come to naught.
We find this music (even
if it is six to ten years old) as
haunting and moving as when
we first heard it on Brave New
Waves.
Mainly because we true
children of post punk don't
abandon what we love for the
sake of looking cool for an
endearing second of time."
Zoe Annastasia
August 1990
"Most of your staff are so arrogant and self righteous that it
brings me to a state of reverse
peristalses...
I should say that I am
aware that I write this in vain,
as it will no doubt fall on the
Julie, she know calls herself
Seiouxsie after her favourite
band. We were the only alternative people in our school but
stayed with what was hip, (I
knew sub-pop would be big).
WE go to Luv-a-Fair all the
time and they are still at the
fore front of alternative music,
so What's my point, I am
alternative, I have earned it,
Lollapalooza was for people like
me not the idiots who showed
up, so join the fight Discorder,
you are alternative."
Jason Jekill
December 1992
"I am taking a political science
class right now that is excessively dull. It is so dull that
instead of listening to anything
that is said, I draw endless
series of bunnies. I draw fat
bunnies and old bunnies and
bunnies that have been genetically altered by the U.S. Army
so that they can deliver important and secret messages. This
type of abominably obsessive
cupulsiveness is antisocial, and
irrelevant to anyone except for
myself.
The discorder writes arti-
cals like I draw bunnies. Most
of your magazine is elitist and
impermeable to anyone outside your charmed little circle.
Do we really need reviews of
shows at the rockcandy in
Seattle, glib and obscure references to Chappel Hill N.C.
and interviews that consist of
unpopular band name dropping? I do believe that discorder and CITR should promote
new music but only in a way
that does not make you look
like a snothead (temporarily) downwardly mobile collage
kids who stroke their vicious
little egos in a furious quest to
make others look like sheep.
Why don't you run a contest for who can take a photograph of the rudest looking
vegetable? Or have a suggestions column for What you can
do with your empty packages
of cornflakes (you could ask
all the bands you interview
this and se what they say!).
Maybe have something on
cool and cheap bars to go to
(a Guys Guide to the Flipsides
type thingy). Diversify. On the
other hand maybe you would
be interested in printing some
bunny pictures."
Andrew Kitching
March 1993
"Copies of your monthly paper
are  delivered  to  the   above
facility. We would appreciate if
you would arrange to have us
taken off your delivery schedule. We do not find the publication suitable for our family and
younger patrons."
G. Derek Laverty
Coordinator of Aquatics
Vancouver Aquatic Centre
Vancouver Park Board
July 1993
"Your feature on Classical
music bored me. It was filled
with meaningless details and
humorless. This type of music
is much more interesting than
what you trendy bandwagon
jumpers usually promote.
Your writers wax superlative
in describing the latest retro,
hippy, post-punk, psychel-
delic, mutant-metal, hip-hop,
70's folk-rock disco band. If
your writers are as smart as
they like to appear, then why
are they always sucking up
to such a bunch of no talent,
posturing/idiots. Ninety-nine
percent of these so called
serious musician/artists have
never studied music—they
don't even know how to hold
dicks much less their guitars. They take good pictures
though good lighting and
camera angles. Their worldly
outlook and fuck you attitude
always comes through."
Jim Gwangchook
March 1994
"Tom Bagley's portrayal of a
midnight feeding of a child on
your May issue is very disturbing to me. In an age of increasing child abuse and neglect,
the issue of child care depicted
in this manner is in very poor
taste.
My only hope is that your
readership   is   educated   and caring enough not to spike
their childs' late night bottle
with alcohol."
Jennifer Sutton
June 1994
"I must say this: Grant
Lawrence is an immature little
jerk-off who has no business
writing for your otherwise
fine publication. I'm sick of
his ceaseless prejudicial comments about us "older" musicians who "don't rock". Fuck
you Lawrence. If you were
writing racist or sexist comments, they probably wouldn't
get printed. Who do you think
you are, Doug Collins? If
you're going to review bands'
concerts/releases then keep
your fucking comments to
yourself and your fist next
time you're in the bathroom.
Hey man, I was enjoying a lot
of gigs while you were still a
glazed look in your daddy's
eyes. So, fuck you Grant
Lawrence—the Vancouver
music scene doesn't need pee-
brained pissants like you."
R.C.Johnson
December 1994
"The following Discorder, writers suck: Christa Min."
Angus
February 2002
WE ARE WRONG
To the Editor:
One suspects that more than
just the wide gulf between
our points of view explains the
manyinaccuracies I see in your
publication.
However perhaps someone there does care about
journalistic accuracy. On the
page at the following URL
http://www.ams.ubc.ca/
citr/discorder/panart.html
[Panarticon, Dec/Jan. 2002-
2003—ed.]
you state that, "Gerald
Chipeur is listed on
conservativeforum.org, whose
motto is 'Anyone who can
bring the Conservative Party
together can bring the country
together.'"
Theconservativeforum.org
site has no "motto". It does
include in its collections
the above quotation of a
remark made by Progressive
Conservative Party leader Joe
Clark. Our site has no affiliation with or admiration for
the party.
Sincerely,
Mark Magner
conservativeforum.org
WE ARE LOVED
Dear Discorder,
Thanks for the Christmas card
and the last issue.
I really enjoy reading! So
I'd like to re-order for subscription again.
I'm looking forward to get
next one soon.
I miss so much following those program [sad face
drawing)
• The Northern Wish (1
loved this show!)
• Third Time's the Charm
• Folk Oasis
• And Sometimes Why/
Replica Reject
• the Saturday Edge
• Parts Unknown
• Flex Your Head
• Canadian Lunch
• Live from Thunderbird
• Nardwar the human
Serviette
I was good Listner [happy
face] my ears're starving—I
wish I were in Vancouver now.
Thank you always + Happy
New Year [drawing of a sheep]
Michie Kuni
Tokyo, Japan
If you'd like to listen to all of
those great programs, you still
can! Just tune in on the internet
at http://www.citr.ca
THE EDITOR SUCKS
Dear Mr. Eng,
I was reading the Decembuary
2002 issue of Discorder and
noticed that you had received
and printed a letter to, the
editor, printed under the title
of Dear Airhead (page 7). In
your response to the letter by
Jay Watts and Dan Colussi in
which they "... not only states
[sic] [their] case so eloquently,
but personally attacks me as
well." 1 personally find it interesting that Mr. Eng takes as a
personal attack a statement
of fact which can be found
on page 6 of the Decembuary
2002 issue of Discorder. In the
Music Sucks editorializing by
Chris Eng, Mr. Eng treats the
reader to a half page editorial, of a little over 1000 words,
of which about 600 words
are about Mr. Eng's personal
interactions with Glenn-Jenn
Wilson. How these statements
relate to the editorial position
of Discorder Magazine I am not
sure, but it is followed by the
introduction of a new monthly
feature. The new feature is
clearly a conscious decision to
change the editorial policy of
the magazine, and as such truly
worthy of editorial status. On
the other hand the question of
"[h]ow many of you think that
you were cool five years back,"
is clearly not editorial material.
This is typical of the self indulgent writing that Mr. Eng has
been enjoying over the past
decade, through the avenue of
zines, Offbeat magazine, Vice
(Don't get me started on that
trashy rag!) and more recently
with Discorder. 1 am not sure
if Mr. Eng is aware that many
of us do not care about his hair,
friends, girlfriend(s), landlords,
Ramones obsession, long lost
teen age problems (you
have not been of teen age or
attended school in many years
Mr. Eng) and any other details
of your personal life. I should
add we definitely do not care
about your clothes and any /
statements that they may be
making about you as an individual. Please remember that
statements about the content
are not always statements of
personal attack directed' at
the writer, they may simply
be comments on the interest that the secondary writer
finds within the writing. Or
in the case of Mr. Eng's writing
the lack of interest shown by
Offbeat's readership towards
his written efforts.
Thank you for your time.
Best regards,
Jeb Gordon
P.S. What is up with the Tolkien
obsession in the above said
issue of Discorder?
Ah, sweet vitriol. For years,
Airhead has been languishing
due to a lack of pointed opinions being sent our way. Finally,
it has its moment to shine
again. Now, to business:
A) You're right. "Attack"
was too strong a word.
"Targets," "takes me to task,"
or, "involves," would probably
have served better, but sadly
weren't chosen. My apologies to
Misters Watts and Colussi.
B) The word "states" was
correct in the context of the
piece; don't try to make it look
like I don't know my tenses.
C) You counted all the
words in my column?
D) Glenn-Jenn?
E) I chose to talk about
Gerry-Jenn because she had
an upcoming show and it was
timely. She is also a fixture of
sorts in the Vancouver scene.
Do you think that it is somehow
off-topic to cover (in a rather
roundabout way) a Vancouver
musician performing a Vancouver show in a Vancouver
magazine? Really? Interesting.
F) 1 get paid for my self-
indulgent writing by various
magazines. Someone evidently
likes it.
G) Clearly, you take personal issue with my past columns which waxed at length
over such topics as my "hair,
friends, girlfriend(s), landlords,
Ramones obsession, long lost
teen age problems" and/or any
other details of my personal life,
not to mention the magazines I
have written for. The thing is,
you seem more than passingly
acquainted with all of them.
If the writing style or general
attitude offended you so much
at the time, then you were
free, as is always your option
as a reader, to not read them.
Since I recall no letters of complaint to the editor back then, 1
would have thought that's what
you had been doing. You were
certainly not obliged to read
my zines if you didn't like my
prose. One might wonder why
you spend so much time digesting my writings across multiple publications when they are
clearly unpalatable to you.
H) If the general readership of Offbeat (a magazine
that very few DiSCORDER
readers probably read before
its untimely demise) found, in
my columns, nothing of any
interest at all, then surely they
were buoyed by the fact that I
haven't written them for nigh
on two years.
1) We at DiSCORDER /ike
Tolkien.
DiSCORDER: Your local hate-
production facility.
ftVMBlITONI fRWWTIOM!
Tupidaynt      (TY1       ihowtimw    Februarys   :
; THE RAILWAY CLUB    J    Off]    *30to    Wmosai
3 *l Vol!!, Folograms i
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* WdiFope :
februaryii     BelTTitfa Bruce :
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SRTURNHERD
!THE BRICKYARD sis cubbm.*. st.\
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I        (MEMBERS OF NEU! PORNOGRAPHERS, THE GAY, LIMBLIFTER AND VANCOUVER KNIGHTS) !
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VIDEO TOKYO
! THE BRICKYARD amvwi*" j
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SPONSORED BV PONCHO'S ROCKIN' TACOS
7 DiSCORDER va itcouvc i* ADccia
local reviews by Janis McKenzie
FEATURING THE HIT SINGLE
"COCHISE"
CD IN STORES NOW
Vancouver Special's earliest ancestor was
called Demo Derby, and
it's possible that it appeared in
DiSCORDER's very first issue.
(Since I didn't come along
until a little later, I can't say
for sure.) [No, it showed up a
little before you did. —ed.] But
I don't think that the early
DiSCORDER contributors
fought over who got to write
it, since everyone knew that
*real* bands pressed LPs or at
least 45s. Only the hopelessly
inept, ill-connected or just
plain broke put out cassettes,
and this was one of the very
few piaces where they were
reviewed. A cast of CiTR characters took turns writing the
column, some using the space
to show off their smart-assed-
ness, others as a kind of public
service, hoping to come across
vinyl, and even occasionally
toss in a tidbit of news about
the bands who could. (Most of
these are long forgotten. Not
many of you will remember
Hip Type or Sons of Freedom,
let alone A Merry Cow, The
Dilettantes, Wardells or The
Little Ratskulls.) And of course
it was fun, going out to clubs
almost every night to see what
was going on.
But after a couple of years
I got tired. Bands were finding
my home phone number and
calling at all hours, and after
going out every night it was
hard to get up for work in the
morning. Because I was spending all my time with the bands I
was writing about, it was hard
to pretend to have any journalistic objectivity. So I gave it all
up, telling myself that I wanted
to pay more attention to writing fiction and my own (very
A musician appeared at my boyfriend's
back door one night to threaten me with
violence when he didn't like something
I'd written.
some undiscovered treasure.
Most, like me, were probably
doing a bit of both.
Around 1986 someone
decided that Demo Derby
sounded "too competitive,"
and the name changed to Local
Motion. Michael Shea was the
editor then, and because it was
starting to look as if I was the
only one who still wanted to
review local tapes, he gave me
the job on a regular basis. My
column! Never mind that
time a couple of musicians referred to it as a gossip
column, a few cornered me in
bars to argue with me about
my reviews, and another
appeared at my boyfriend's
back door one night to threaten me with violence when he
didn't like something I'd written. All this just proved that
someone was reading it.
While other CiTR types
wanted the apparently more
glamorous jobs of interviewing
out-of-town bands and writing about the new essential
albums from the UK or States,
I was happy in my little local
music world. The editors who
came and went generally left
me alone. (Especially after I
threw tantrums and said that
with my writing degrees and
experience they had a lot of
nerve correcting my English.
No doubt there's a file on me
in the DiSCORDER office now,
warning future staff to stay
clear. These editors sure put
up with a lot!) I could champion the bands I loved who
couldn't  afford  to  put  out
forgotten) band, and secretly
hoped that if someone else
wrote the column we might
get reviewed ourselves. None
of this worked out, naturally.
My band went nowhere and
I didn't publish any novels.
Other people wrote the local
music reviews, and after The
Straight stole the name Local
Motion, the column became
Vancouver Special.
In the end I couldn't stay
away. In the mid-'90s I went
back to UBC for yet another
degree and—it was irresistible!—joined CiTR again. Then
one day I heard then-editor
Miko Hoffman in the hall saying she couldn't find anyone
to write local CD reviews, and
I started all over again. My
first Vancouver Special column
appeared in September 1996.
So this time I've been at
it for almost six and a half
years. (For at least part of the
time 1 had a colleague of sorts
who wrote part of the column,
but we never actually met.)
I've probably reviewed two
hundred CDs since '96, and,
especially since I don't get out
to the clubs much these days, a
lot of them have been an utter
surprise. Maybe it hasn't been
glamorous, and I hardly ever
get to meet up-and-coming
rock stars, but picking up my
monthly CDs to review can be
a little bit like the mythical old-
fashioned Christmas morning,
where you don't know if youl re
getting a lump of coal or something truly magical.
Here's a list of the bands
and solo artists whose CDs I've
reviewed in Vancouver Special:
Aging Youth Gang, Coco
Love Alcorn, Peter Archer,
Judy Atkin, Auburn, BMX,
Big John Bates, Beans, Bell
Jar, Bertine, Big Cookie, Big
Yellow Taxi, Blinki, Bossanova,
Graham Brown, Brundlefly,
Buck, By Divine Right, Neko
Case, Cathode Ray, Cinch,
Clumsy Lovers, Coal, Conrad,
Cooldown, Copyright, Mark
Crozer, cub, DOA, Daily
Alfresco, Dayglo Abortions,
Daytona, Dead Model Shoot,
Deadcats, Department, Dishrags,
Siobhan Duvall, Electrosonics,
emptys, Falcons, Fidgital, Chris
Field, First Day, Flophouse
Jr, Fontanelles, Four Barrel,
Soressa Gardner, Gaze, David
Gogo, Hanson Brothers,
Harvey Switched, Rich Hope,
Hot Hot Heat, i am spoon-
bender, Jack Tripper, Lonnie
James, Jerk With a Bomb, Joel,
Jonah Stone, Jungle, Juniper
Daily, Kick in the Eye, Mark
Kleiner Power Trio, knockdown-ginger, Joel Kroeker,
Lavish, Sook-Yin Lee, Maow,
Carolyn Mark, McRackins,
Melody Wey, Mimosa, Mishin
Imposticle, Mr Plow, Mistress
Jen, Molestics, Mount Pleasant,
Nickelback, Oh Susanna,
Panurge, Papillomas, Pariah
Project, Parlour Steps, Pasties,
Pepper Sands, Plasticine,
Potato Bug, Psychomania,
Queazy, r*a*d*i*o*, Radiogram,
Ralph, Rayovaq, Tim Readman,
readymade, Red Raku,
Removal, Rose Chronicles,
Roswells, Run Chico Run, SK
Robot, Saddlesores, Salteens,
Saturnhead, Kate Schrock,
Naomi Sider, Silverscene,
Slow Nerve Action, Phil
Smith, Smugglers, Space Kid,
Sparrow, Special Guests,
Star Collector, STATIONa,
Submission Hold, Superchief,
Surfdusters, Swag, Swank,
Sweaters, Tennessee Twin,
Thermos, Third Eye Tribe, Thrill
Squad, Transvestimentals,
Uneven Steps, Vancouver's
Shame, Vega, Victorian Pork,
Vinaigrettes, Voiumizer, Wandering Lucy, Wayside, Young
and Sexy, Zubot and Dawson.
And compilations:
604, Acrustic Age, Basement Suites—Opus 1, Crusty
Comp 2, Dominic Radio, Good
Jacket Presents Vancouver
Special, Nothing Beats a Royal
Flush, Northern Lights Volume
1, Project: Echo, Shot Spots:
Trooper Tribute, Showdown:
22 Golden Nuggets from
Vancouver / Victoria RANCH
Community, Team Mint Volume
2, Tiddleywinks.
Here's    to    another    20
years! •
—Janis Atriit and fret
performance/art by Penelope Mulligan
THE FIFTH ANNUAL
VANCOUVER UNDERGROUND
FILM FESTIVAL
November 21-24
The Blinding Light!!
Attending more screenings
at this year's VUFF seemed
like a good idea until I tried
to cover everything in 800
words. Under DiSCORDER's old
regime, I was terribly spoiled.
STRUT AND FRET could swell,
shrink, FLICKER and arrive
hair-raisingly late, as required.
But our new Fiihrer is disarm-
ingly strict. [I prefer the term
"Omnipotent Dictator." —ed.]
Fair enough, then: I'll alight
like a butterfly on the opening
and closing programmes and
bounce off a few highlights in
between. I shall be elliptical.
The first night's screening,
entitled "superman, pornog-
rapher", contained five films
Drue and Miles Langlois was
an animation of those sweetly
perverse dolls, so it's probably
my fault that I was underwhelmed by Micro-Nice. The
comic from which it sprang no
doubt works great on the page,
but this live action version felt
cliched and puerile; following the exploits of a coven of
witches-in-training, it was The
Craft gone lo-fi.
1 was unprepared for
anything to come leaping out
of this pack, but Sheila Pye's
The Lesson quietly floored me.
Inspired by Eugene lonesco's
eponymous play, the Toronto
filmmaker told a tale of absurdity and horror concerning a
tutor, his pupil and his housekeeper. Adding to the dreamlike unease, dialogue was
fractionally out of sync with
lips and a pixellation effect
All the pretty horses
whose creators shared either
a penchant for the surreal or
a love of the trash aesthetic—
occasionally both. Although
the filmmakers proved competent at milking their often
illustrious influences, most of
the work never pushed beyond
the entertainingly derivative.
Locals Matthew Fithen and
Amy Lockhart reprised the
unstoppable Miss Edmonton
Teenburger 1983 in You're
Eternal, in which the Divine
lookalike struggled to prove
her worth with the most popular girls in school. Alas, I found
Lockhart's first Teenburger
flick from 2001 far fresher
and more twisted. Docl.doc,
from Winnipeg's Solomon
Nagler, was a monochrome
morsel featuring a protagonist who seemed to fall up a
rabbit hole into a Guy Maddin-
soaked wonderland, while San
Franciscan Miles Montalbano
went for (and got) the schlocky
laughs with Love and the
Monster.
All I really wanted from
Royal   Art   Lodge   members
but no Matt Damon in
Dianne Ouelette's Sigh
caused the human actors to
move like claymation figures.
The Lesson was arresting for
its technique and style, but
what gave the film its integrity was the feeling that it
couldn't have been made any
other way.
By the time I hit Saturday's
"heartbreaker dreammaker"
programme, the films had
pretty much abandoned
straight-ahead narrative and
were pulling and stretching
at ways to tell a story or convey an emotion. In Sigh, her
study of a relationship gone
bad, Regina's Dianne Ouelette
intercut scenes of claustrophobic car travel with footage
of wild horses. Peppered with
personal documentary style
voice-over, the film was hugely
affecting, yet light as air. As
it ended, 1 swear I exhaled
more breath than 1 ever took
in. A fitting title for an outstanding work. Portland's
Andrew Blubaugh also used
a light hand—with poignant
results—in The Burden, a dry-
eyed and honest look at what
happens when he and his siblings discover that there are
almost no recorded images of
their dead mother because she
was always behind the camera
documenting them.
Cool, objective narration
belied the intensity of subject matter in Knee Level, in
which a terminally ill woman
decides to see out her life with
the variety of sexual partners
she'd never had while well.
Torontonians Sarah Abbott
and Tania Boggs used a single,
fixed video camera to record
the truncated figures of caregiver and lovers as they passed
through a light and airy sitting
room, leaving so much to the
imagination. Like most of this
nine-film package, these three
works gave some new juice to
the term "experimental."
I'd booked a Sunday spin in
the ARTIST-RUN L1MO, one of
the festival's less conventional
venues. The vulgar-looking
stretch thingy was supposed
to drive us around town while
we viewed a video of a road
trip on screens mounted in the
passenger section; but project
creators Matt Smith and Arvid
Dhadhami were afraid of losing their parking space in front
of the cinema, so they decided
not to cruise during the
screenings. The locally-based
filmmakers videotaped their
entire journey from Brooklyn
to Vancouver and then showed
it insanely sped up. I reckoned
a ratio of about one kilometer
per second. As gas stations,
metro bypasses and other
traffic raced by, we struggled
in vain to find visual reference
points in a freeway journey
that would be numbing and
disorientating at any speed.
Interspersed with a spacious
and bass-heavy soundtrack
were actual broadcasts taped
from the car radio at various points en route: some of
America's call-in shows are
terrifying. A brief screech
of Celine Dion right after we
crossed the 49th was a nice
touch.
Abstraction ruled the
closing screening, "beauty
in the body", as filmmakers
constructed kingdoms of
imagery and sensation with
fuzzed footage, transgressive
editing, video noise and, in one
case, without a camera. This
lot felt truly underground and,
with few exceptions, there
was none of that precious,
theoretical distance present
to elicit respectful yawns. You
could sense the desire prowling
behind their eccentric meth-
odoliges and damn, I'm out of
space. So thank you VUFF and
thank you Blinding Light!! ♦
IN"   "LWx
Smiles? You Bet!
TTmmmm      	
116122 7 Granville Street ,
9 DiSCORDER road worn
ana wcai
II
IIIIIIIUIiaiHlHHI
Tour Diaries
cub Went on Tour and All
They Brought Us Was This
Stupid Diary.
(First printed July, 1993)
Entourage: Bill, Lisa, Neko,
Robynn, Beez, Bryce, Dave,
Grant, Nick, Aaron, Bob,
Clint, John, Ron, Wade, Craig,
Johnny, Kenny, Robbie,
Shauna, Tommy.
Numbers of times we stayed
at a Motel 6: 2 (In America,
Motel 6s don't have numbers
on the doors: you get a key, a
map, a password and a warning NOT TO OPEN THE DOOR
UNTIL MORNING ONCE YOU
ARE LOCKED IN!)
Number of times Lisa
received unsolicited
smooches: 3 (no tongues
though, thank god).
Number of tattoos received:
2 (Robynn got a pretty rose on
her shoulder, Neko got a kick-
ass scary spider on her neck.
Luckily they washed off about
a year later.)
Pieces of Dubble Bubble given
out: 900
Loads of laundry done: 7
Number of times you can sing
"Prairie Town" (Neil Young
version) on the way into
Winnipeg: 29
Number of little golden
boys spotted: 3 (Winnipeg,
Madison, Montreal)
Number of cub kids' club
members who showed up at
our shows: 4
Number of people who
offered to let us stay at his
house ("about 30 miles out of
town") and then told us the
best day of his life was when
the local lake was drained
and he and his buddy cut the
heads off 500 dying carp so
we scrammed before we got
macheted ourselves: 1
Number of people who will
be showing up at our houses
this summer if everyone that
we told to "Come out and stay
with us!" does: 271
Facts about The Smugglers:
don't know how to
operate a washing
machine
play chess and read
Sassy while driving
love donuts (there's
a Dunkin' Donuts
outlet on the PEI
ferry!)
never tire of fart
10 February 2002
jokes
call their girlfriends
and parents back
home a lot (aww-
www)
give free pigshaves
Facts about Seaweed:
love stinkbombs
tour van has
Nintendo, fully
stocked wet bars,
2 VCRs (to show
Terminator and Star
Wars) and fax facilt-
ies
adore Venom
never heard of Tiger
ice-cream
can sing "Blowin'
in the Wind" in
German
never tire of fart
jokes
fave expressions
include "Dude!"
"Word up!" and "You
Canadians better
watch yer fuckin'
backs!"
Facts about The Hanson
Brothers:
cute butt ends
(we saw Johnny's
after the show in
Moncton; a little
sweaty but...)
good at darts
enjoy poker (but
watch out! they're
sharks!)
do great Jello Biafra
imitations
Best thing about touring
with The Smugglers: every
single show is fun to watch
and sometimes they even let
Lisa come up and sing part of
"Flying Buttress"!
Worst thing about touring
with The Smugglers: those
suit suit jackets really stink
after they play.
Cool bands we saw:
Citizen Fish (Nelson)
— You gotta go see
that guy do the
monkey dance!
Thee Deadbeatniks
(Kingston) — Fun
fun fun and cute
too!
Platon et Ses Caves
(Montreal) - Cesar
et Ses Romans a-
go-go. Neko danced
with them and after
the show they let
her try on one of
their togas!
Hemlock
(Charlottetown)
-JethroTull meets
Pink Floyd complete
with 15 guitars,
synthesizers, mandolin, lute, recorder,
smoke machine and
a monk who circulated through the
crowd waving a censer. They're #1 in the
Maritimes! Watch
for the upcoming
double bill with
Superconductor!
Chimpanzees (New
York City) - They
Funnest cover: By request, a
ten-second version of "Wipe
Out" in Madison.
Contest question some people
got: What's round at the ends
and high in the middle?
If you're feeling down and
tired, a green mud mask will
freshen you right up! Aaah.
Best all-purpose remedy:
"The Magic Flower"—a mysterious naturopathic syrup
which cured everything from
sore throats to constipation.
Aaron from Seaweed was
hooked on it before we got out
of BC.
does Jerry Seinfeld
impressions
humps gear
counts all the money
Sauciest bitch: Grant
Lawrence
Robynn wins a dare!
In Winnipeg. Seaweed bet
Robynn she couldn't stand
up and play for an entire set
but she did (and she sang
back ups, too)! So Seaweed
had to play an entire Robynn-
approved set including Beat
Happening's "Foggy Eyes" and
a Spook and the Zombies song!
Biggest Mohawks and Most
"Free Charlie Manson" T-
shirts: The Tune Inn in New
Haven, CT, conveniently
mean about us
onstage and wantec
to beat them up
Melissa in
Minneapolis who
does the Hit It or
Quit It zine and
invited m to ^» big
Riot Grrl convention
in August
Why all-ages shows are the
best:
lots of kids having
fun—no fights!
Dog piles on Robynn
during mad scram-    -
bles for sticker:, and
gum
Free cokes!
Cute boys
Bootleg ou>b p<o<p
stickers
dress in monkey
suits, make monkey
faces and hand out
bananas. Best song:
"Snapple Ice Tea"!
Poster Children
(Minneapolis) — We
love you, Rose!
Cool bands we just missed
seeing: Ween, jale, Sebadoh,
Sloan, Venom, Eric's Trip, (but
they did leave a message in
Moncton for us saying "hi!"
Celebrities we saw in
Hoboken, NJ: Frank Sinatra's
mother, Steve Shelley, Garnett
Timothy Harry, Georgia
Hubley and Ira Kaplan from Yo
La Tengo (on separate occasions!), Betty Colatrella, Kim
and Melanie from the Muffs,
steelpolebathtub.
Good fights:
Neko and a mosher
from Calgary—Neko
got a black eye but
you should have
seen the other guy!
Robynn and the
floor in Calgary
Grant and some
big-necked jocks
in Saskatoon; luckily he was able to
scare them off with
his amazing karate
moves before any
blood was shed
Robynn and a wall in
our prison cell dorm
in Charlottetown
— the wall won; it
bent her glasses
Food that people who were
kind enough to let us stay
with them fixed us for brek-
fast (in some cases, ready on
the table by the time we got
up; can you believe it????):
pancakes (Nelson,
Calgary, Toronto)
scrambled eggs
(Ottawa)
french bread
and strawberries
(Montreal)
stale popcorn
(Chicago)
Samba, the coffee
of El Exegente (New
York)
What we ate for breakfast
every other day of the tour:
Subway veggie-cheese sub—
no hot peppers!
Best Interview: CJSW in
Edmonton—the dj let us
play "Panama" AND "Hot for
Teacher"!
What a Road Manager does:
moves poo so we
don't step in it
makes sure everyone takes a pee at
gas stations
wakes us up to play
and do interviews
supplies us with Jolly
Ranchers, Mr. Pibb
and Cosmo
sells stuff
doles out beer tickets (keeping half
for himself) and per
diems
located across from a burning
automobile where we had a
swell show as part of a PUNKS
AGAINST CORRUPTION
extravaganza, raking in lots of
spit and ten whole dollars. Lisa
got to pet a rat named Pussy.
Contest question nobody got:
What Neil Diamond song is
"My Chinchilla" based on?
the hippie guy in
Minneapolis who
told us he really
hated our show
"because everyone
else is probably saying they liked it."
The guy with the
homemade cub shirt
(complete with a
little green Mint
Records Logo) in
Calgary
The man right up
front in Windsor
wearing dark aviator
glasses and swigging
cough syrup (He was
from Detroit; you
can't get codeine
over the counter
there.)
Nicole in London
who knew the words
to "What The Water
Gave Me" and wants
to start a cub tribute
band with her friend
Tim
The guy in
Edmonton who
thought Seaweed
said something
Longest Finger: Nick's
Strongest Finger: Dave's
A tip: Make sure you have
lots of time when you stop at
the Giant Apple/Peter Puck
Museums between Toronto
and Kingston, otherwise
you'll be late for the show
and everyone will be mad at
you. What nation produces
the most apples in the world:
Canada, USA or China? If you
guessed USA, you're right!
Things to watch for while
driving on the New Jersey
turnpike at night:
big trucks oozing
dayglo green radioactive muck
nude people in cars
Did you know it's perfectly
legal to sit in the front seat
of a broken down car while
it's being towed at 60 miles
an hour down the pothole
ridden, Ohio turnpike in the
middle of the night narrowly
avoiding several semis? ("It's
no problem as long as you pay
the toll and don't cross the
state lines," Bob the tow-trud
driver assured us.)
Things we killed:
A Canada Goose
(Saskatchewan)
Several porcupines
(New Brunswick)
— Lisa thought they
were dried up foxes
A swallow (near the
Peace Arch Border
crossing) Things we barely managed to
avoid killing:
a pretty pink pig
(middle of the
highway between
Calgary and
Edmonton)
each other (various
places)
Scariest moment: When a
ghostly Inuit by the name of
Ernie Ouilukpuk and his three
dogs, Oolie, Biff and Sam,
stepped out of the woods
when Bill was taking a leak by
the side of the road at 2am
near Bangor, ME.
Interesting thing about
Monton:
the highway coming into town is red
(weird dirt)
lots of rednecks and
an enclave of white
supremacists—ick!
Magnetic Hill: you
put your Buick Regal
into neutral and a
strange force pulls
you UPHILL!
Good things about Montreal:
potato latkes at
Main's
recording and mixing 10 songs in 3
hours (including
timeout to watch
that Brady Bunch
special on TV) with
Kevin Komoda in a
little studio in the
old part of the city
pest
Leonard Cohen.
Okay, so he wasn't
there when we
dropped by his
house, but Rebecca
de Mornay invited
us in for a drink,
anyway. You know
what? She's not
that pretty in real
life.
One thing that makes the
Maritimes a-ok with us: All
soda pops come in those skinny old-style painted bottles.
Even Crystal Pepsi. Shauna
Hanson collected a whole set.
An interesting fact about PEI:
People there point their satellite dishes at the ground to
pick up secret TV signals.
Did you know it's always
cloudy in North and South
Dakota?
Best giant things:
evil potato wearing a top hat near
Fredericton (actually, it looked suspiciously like Mr.
Peanut)
Goodyear tire with
barbed wire fence
around it on the
highway outside
Detroit
ice-cream cone with
happy cherry on top
goose, Wawa (we
made an offering of
millet on behalf of
the one we killed)
Can of Budweiser in
Madison
smiley-face barn in
Alberta
bright orange moose
pinhead gophers
at Gopherville,
Saskatchewan
Grant's balls
(although we never
actually saw them,
he repeatedly told
us they're the size
of the great lakes—
Erie and Superior)
Best poster: The one that
billed us as "All Girl Noise Band
from California"
Biggest drug store in the
world: Wall Drug, in Wall, SD!
Free ice water! 50-foot dinosaur! Real live Jackalope! All-
you-can—eat corndogs! World
famous Hupmobile! Watch
for the Burma-shave style
billboards starting about 300
miles away in Iowa!
Amazing points of interest we
Sudbury Nickel
(Please, Bill?" "No.")
Hershey's Factory
("Please, Bill?!"
"No.")
Mount Rushmore
("Please Bill?!!"
"No.")
Devil's Tower
(Please, Bill?!!!" "No."
"But remember
Close Encounters
of the Third Kind?"
"No."
A question: Why do little bald
punk rock kids all over Canada
like sticking stickers on their
heads so much?
Good things about having a
drummer from Tacoma, USA:
good at fighting
likes Lucky Strikes
and Chesterfield
Kings
has snappy answers
for American border
guards while they
hold us for hours
questioning us in
separate rooms and
searching the car
(luckily they never
found our stash of
Canadian Dubble
Bubble!)
turned us on to Taco
Bell 59 cent burritos
likes hockey (go
Rockets!)
Most packed show: The Bronx
(used to be a Salvation Army
Mission), Edmonton. We
thought people would hate
us, but they didn't! A boy gave
Lisa a present of a necklace
made out of a bicycle gear!
Best past of playing the 1st
Ave club in Minneapolis (and
no, Prince doesn't own it!):
You get to disco dance as
much as you want. Nick did
The Worm! Bill cut his hands
on broken glass! Dave and
Neko danced on a big platform—just like Soul Train'.
Worst part: Seeing Dave
Pirner—he looked like hell!
SCREW VOU
and your pointy shoes.
* gig: Continental
Divide, NYC. We weren't supposed to play at all, then 1313
Mockingbird Lane featuring
Haunted Houseman didn't
show (whew!) so we ended up
headlining. Phil Spector was
there maintaining a very low
profile: later we had mai tais
at the Waldorf Astoria. He
didn't talk much but we gave
him a copy of Hot Dog Day
anyway.
Nicest Policeman: The one
who gave Bill directions to the
Lounge Ax (the coolest bar we
played in—it even had a photo
booth!) while spinning around
in a circle directing traffic in
a busy Chicago- slum intesec-
Meanest Policeman: A tie
between the one who gave us
a speeding ticket near Fernie
(one day after we left home)
and the one who gave us a
speeding ticket near the middle of nowhere, Wyoming (one
day before we got home)
May 3 - Harpo's, Victoria, BC
May 4 — Curling Rink, Nelson,
BC
May5-TheRepublik,
Calgary, AB
May 6 — The Bronx,
Edmonton, AB
May 7 — Amigo's, Saskatoon,
SK
May 8 — Alternative Cabaret,
Winnipeg, MB
May 9 — First Avenue,
Minneapolis, MN
May 11 — O'Cayz Corral,
Madison, WI
May 12 — Lounge Ax, Chicago,
IL
May 13 - Spotted Dog,
Windsor, ON
May 14 — The Embassy-
London, ON
May 15 - The Cameron-
Toronto, ON
May 16 — Hojo's Ballroom-
Kingston, ON
May 17 - Zaphod Beeblebrox-
Ottawa, ON
May 18 - Jailhouse Rock Cafe,
Motreal, PQ
May 19 — recording with Kevin
Komoda, Montreal, PQ
May 20 - Kacho, Moncton, NB
May 21 — Double Deuce,
Halifax, NS
May 22 - UPEI Barn,
Charlottetown, PE
May 23 — Thumper's, St John,
NB
May 25 — Continental Divide,
New York, NY
May 26 — Bogie's, Albany, NY
May 28 — Tune Inn, New
Haven, CT
Return: June 5,1993-
How do yoK repress your ivuiividualitij?
I express myself
through creative facial
hair and by listening to
underground death &
black metal bands.
■vsr'
i   G
...also, I'm asleep most nights by 10pm
11 DiSCORDER STRING TRIO
NEWYORK
"iNo individual or ensemble has done more to demystify chamber jazz,
and to realize its potential for warmth, sensuousness and beauty..."
JazzTimes
Thursday February 27 8 pm
St. James Community Hall
Tickets $22 through www.vtix.com and at
Black Swan, Highlife, Scratch, Zulu Records
\ straight \ a
^ul«
event  www.5uln.c01
Magic Teeth Records Proudly Presents: "I Said Sometimes!" A Tribute To Bum
Featuring 79 minutes of Power-Pop by 26 bands on Compact Disc:
The Lisa Marr Experiment, Fastbacks, The Stand G.T., Mach Pelican, Run Chico Run,
Marshall Artist, The Chick Magnets, Scott Henderson, Carolyn Mark, The Crusties,
The Spinoffs, Jim Bryson, Marcus Pollard, The PixieStix Six Six. and many, many more.
$10.00 (plus $3.00 shipping) gets you all this
including full-colour liner notes, photos, and brand new art.
Visit magicteeth.tripod.com or email magicteeth@hotmail.com
1 accept PayPal, money orders, Visa. MC, or well-concealed cash.. Watch for upcoming releases
by Ghosts, The Ewoks, and A Tribute To Rusty Willoughby.
Magic Teeth Records 633 Johnson Street Victoria, BC Canada V8W-1M7
magicteeth.tripod.com
ra
diof
ree DiforA
zines. etc. by Bleek
DiSCORDER: A VIEW FROM
SEATTLE
Music fanaticism can transform average, good children
into obsessive psychos. Many
may wind up being exposed to
introductory bands which gateway into full scale addiction in
no time. 20 years ago we were
all using needles. A pusher, also
known as DJ so-and-so, gave
us the shit for free until we
couldn't function without the
junk. In short order we were
dropping that needle onto
our "tracks," leading us down
intense paths pushing all the
right buttons in our pleasure
centres. This sort of gratification may result in severe
lifestyle changes. Before you
know it you're scouring bins
of exotic record stores in every
city you can get to. Parents
have tearfully watched their
children disappear into this
underworld to become music
journalists, musicians, DJs, or
all of the above.
This sort of addiction has
been my life for the last 20
years, really. While I've been
experiencing a kind of leveling off recently (probably due
to the hundreds of free CDs
received through publishing a modest, music
zine) I remember spending serious loads of cash
in Seattle record stores
while forgetting to even
eat. Insatiable lust for
the next weird thing kept
me perusing music magazines for reviews. I guess
I started realizing people
were writing about this
stuff in 1982, and in
Seattle it was The Rocket
magazine (R.I.P.) that
kept most of us geeks
informed.
Years later,
content, I went out my
way to read about what
other scenes were like
and soon I was picking up
DiSCORDER magazines
every time I could find
them, so I guess I've been
a reader of this here zine
for 15 of these 20 years.
Although I forget more
than I remember, I know that
I was turned on to several
favourite bands because of
DiSCORDER, plus I got to read
all the other columns and stuff
from a Canadian perspective.
I thought I was so cool. Back
then if you were to tell me that
I would be a Canadian citizen
and be DJing at CiTR and writing for DiSCORDER I would
have said, "In what life?" Well,
that's why I'm here, and boy
is it remarkably unglamor-
ous, but you know, I wouldn't
change it for all the gold in the
world. Some records, maybe.
I hope that there are more people like me who feel as passionate about independent radio
and magazines. After watching
several favourite stations and
magazines die over the years,
I realized how endangered
the coof things can be and got
involved. Imagining life without all those influences, no
matter how much we criticize
them, is unthinkable. Now
with more media belonging
to fewer companies, making
sure these humble resources
remain available to the rest of
us is paramount. If you have
lived in a place without these
things, you know what 1 mean.
So here's hoping for at least 20
more years of DiSCORDER!
Now that we're back from
holiday breaks I can finally
inform you of some of the new
items found in the Radio Free
Press file. First, the new I'M
JOHNNY AND I DON'T GIVE
A FUCK is out now. Here's
one zine in particular that
keeps Vancouver on the seri-
irget
ous punk/zine export map.
Hailed as our own version of
Cometbus, I'm Johnny... follows the perzine-Iike journals
of old-skool-punk Andy, and
reads like a good novel. The
miniature size of this zine,
along with the generous thickness describes what the words
"pocket-book" should mean.
Send $4 to Andy at PO Box
21533,1850 Commercial Drive,
Vancouver, BC V5N 5T5, c
it in local stores for $3.
Also in the mail (and it's
been a good couple months
for mail) was a new arts magazine from the Vancouver Art
School. The 7 by 7 inch zine
WOO! borrows its name of
Emily Carr's monkey (touch
it), and this kind of sets the
tone for the sort of playfully
random content, beautiful and
random. There's lots of space
devoted to visual art, appropriately enough, and I hope
this continues. I like the comics and disposable nature of
the writing which really groove
with 2003's nihilistic, post
everything media. Nardwuar's
bio by Julia Feyrer looks like a
resume someone would send
to the Three Stooges. Cool! You
should be able to find this for
free around town and they're
promising a website soon:
[www.eciad.bc.ca/woo] Let's
see... no, not there yet.
Big surprise when San
Diego's GENETIC DISORDER
zine came specifically to
Radio Free Press. Funny
stuff, especially for the fan of
Masplat, which shares some
of the drunken abandon sort
of humour. Lots of punk
rock, datebook on the
exploits of Satan, cursed
ass, and Where's Rob
Halford? are some of the
topics. Big, thick, obnoxious. Yum! $3 US from PO
Box 15237 San Diego, CA
92175 [www.geneticdiso
rder.net]
For the zine expert,
beginner or just the curious, ZINE GUIDE #6 ($8
for Canadians, PO/Box
5467, Evanston 11, 60204)
$| has the most mind-bog-
' gling content on zines,
ever. Thousands of zines
are listed (not reviewed),
and editors, readers, and
11 assholes galore are given
I space to comment on
their favourites, which
I afterwards, along with
I surveys and indexes are
compiled into the most
anally-retentive look at
a cultural phenomenon,
even if it is dead. I already
bought mine but I got a coupon
in the mail for a couple bucks
off if anyone wants it.
There's more, but time
and space require me to say
goodbye for now. I'm going
to archive many of these RFP
reviews in one big mass at
[speckfanzine.Ocatch.com] for
what it's worth.
Goodbye. •
12 February 2002 BEER HERE NOW
THE WIDOWS: DRUNK AND LOVING IT
Interview and Photo Agata and Anka Krzyzanowski
PP
"Side by side with the human race runs another race of beings,
the inhuman ones, the race of artists.... This race of individuals
ransacking the universe, turning everything upside-down, their feet
always moving in blood and tears, their hands always empty, always
clutching and grasping for the beyond..."
Henry Miller, Tropic of Cancer
In this world where we are robbed of our identities we refuse to
become faceless beings. Bound by a tremendous energy of inner
rebellion we descend into the underground where in musical
ecstasy we find the essence of our existence. Punk shows featuring
The Widows are the entrance into the darkness of anarchy and
chaos. The charismatic front man—Billy Hopeless—turns every
concert into a refuge where freaks and outsiders find a sense of
belonging. As the music creates a state of pure being, the moshpit
becomes a manifestation of total self-expression. It's a moment
and it's an eternity, it's pain and it's happiness, "it's dying but it's
living at the same time" as Billy Hopeless says. Surrounded by a
world of illusion The Widows are keeping it real, staying true to
punk rock and true to themselves.
The Widows are: Billy Hopeless (vocals), Siobhan DuVall (guitar),
Scott Farquliarson (guitar), Graham Johnston (bass), Angela
Creamer (drums).
What are your musical influences?
The Widows: Ramones, Sex Pistols, Stranglers, L7, '80s new wave,
blues. Vancouver punk: DOA, Subhumans, Curious George.
Billy, what kind of message are you trying to send through your
music?
Billy: The music is sending the message through me; it goes
straight from the heart. It's about being honest and having a good
time.
What does punk rock mean to you?
Billy: Doing what you believe in, not following a trend, and standing
up for what you believe in no matter what everyone says.
Siobhan: If it wasn't for punk rock, my life would be a lot different
than it is now. It had such an overwhelming impact on my life. Punk
rock wasn't mainstream, it was young people from dysfunctional
families being together, getting beat up. Nobody got beat up in
mosh pits either. Now it's about fashion and music and then it was
a real sense of community.
Angie: It is like an extended family.
take care of people.
Graham: Punk is gonna stay; it is so wide ranging it's gonna be
like blues. Blues keeps going on. Punk is fun to play. Just hit that
fat string and you'll probably have fun, and you'll get a bit better
as you go on.
Have you noticed any changes in the punk scene and the punk
audience?
Billy: The commercial version of punk which is not really punk.
It's more accepted now. People are more open to the music, but
when something really crazy happens they're freaked out by it,
which is good. It's important that the masses still don't get it. More
young kids get into punk. Dead Kennedys and Ramones are on the
Playstation so kids don't have to go and search.
Siobhan: You can play punk rock and potentially have a career and
make money, which I don't think is bad. It's really cool that guys
from Bad Religion make money for what they've been doing for
30 years.
How do you feel on stage?
Siobhan: Happy.
Billy: Now when my foot is broken and I can't drink I feel kinda...
Siobhan: Sober?
Billy: Yeah, sober and confused. 1 don't really know how I feel,
I just feel. You don't think about it, you just let go. I just feel
whatever the music makes me feel. The amount of people doesn't
matter; I feel the energy being exchanged.
Scott: If there's nobody at the show, we try to exchange the energy
between each other and try to have a good time anyway.
Graham: I like the anticipation, the weird energy, the two minutes
before I go on.
Is music a refuge from the outside world?
Billy: Oh yeah! Playing music is. You don't think about your
problems, anything that is going on in your life is gone 'cause
you're playing music.
Who are you?
Billy: I'm a fuck up showcase with a lack of talent walking along
the boundary of failure.
Scott: I'm unqualified.
Siobhan: Siobhan DuVall. Guitar player, singer, doing my own
thing, animal advocate,
always taken care of and     Angie: I don't know. That's what I wanna know. I'm a
lots of fun.
Graham: Father, musician, motorcycle rider, depends w
What is your life philosophy?
Billy: William Shakespeare hit it right in the nose. That's what it all
comes down to: if you're true to yourself, you don't screw people
around and you just do what you wanna do. Don't let anyone tell
you what to do, just do your own thing and whether you screw up
or succeed shouldn't matter. The important thing is how much fun
you had doing it.
Siobhan: I'm a driven person. Unlike a lot of women, achieving my
goals is more important to me than relationships. 1 wanna succeed
in the music industry; I wanna learn how to fly planes. For me,
being goal oriented is an important thing.
If you had your own radio show—no music, just spoken word—
what would you talk about?
Siobhan: Responsible pet ownership.
Billy: It would be called I'm Fucked Up, You're Okay. People would
call me and tell me their problems, and I would tell them: "You've
got problems? You ain't got problems like I've got problems!"
Angie: I would talk about how stupid everybody is.
Scott: I would just make fun of people I saw that day.
Graham: I would read the Hardy Boys books on the radio.
Do you believe in the philosophy of Be Here Now?
Angie: Beer here now? I believe in Beer Here Now.
Graham: Be anywhere but here now. I'm an escapist, I'm in my
happy place.... Stay true to your friends.
Scott: Keep your chin up and look to the future.
Siobhan: I would like to believe in Be Here Now but unfortunately
I'm obsessed with the future. That's why I like touring. On tours
you are who you are, crazy things happen, and you're totally
relaxed. It's a great sense of freedom, and it's addictive.
Billy: I'm obsessed with the past. I believe in faith and the moment.
When you're trying to plan the future, it usually is gonna screw up
on you. I believe that life is like a feather on the wind. It's Forrest
Gump; I'm a total Gump when it comes to this. I believe in living in
a moment, not worrying about the future.... •
13 DiSCORDER TALKING
SURREAL BOLLOCKS
A CONVERSATION WITH EDDIE IZZARD
Interview by Merek Cooper
PP
Eddie Izzard is a strange one. No, he really is. Principally a stand-
up comedian, Eddie rose to fame in his native Britain with an act
consisting of endearingly amateurish streams of consciousness
which seemed to have been made up on the spot. Eddie, himself,
describes his act as "talking surreal bollocks with added bollocks
on top." The way Eddie effortlessly skips around from topic to
topic with no logical connections in between will make you feel
that you could get up on stage and do this too. But don't be
fooled: Izzard's ambling and befuddled demeanor hides a sharp
if slightly off-kilter wit which is truly unique to him. He only has
two voice impressions—James Mason and Sean Connery—and
he gives these voices to almost every character, real or fictional,
that should happen to drop into his wildly erratic focus. Any
other comedian would be crucified for this, but in IzzardWorld
this strict vocal dichotomy just plain fits. He also has a penchant
for performing in French and, despite being nowhere near fluent,
this didn't stop him embarking on an all-French language tour of
France which went down like a lead balloon tied to the wedding
tackle of a rather large African elephant. If this is not strange
enough, Eddie also came out as an "Action Transvestite" at the
beginning of his career in the early nineties. Weird? No. He just
likes to wear women's clothes whenever he feels like it, and that
includes makeup, too. It's not that he's gay or even awaiting a sex
change, it's just his way of expressing the more feminine aspects
of his heterosexual sexuality. Got that? Good.
Recent years have seen Izzard branch out and step away from
his stand-up roots. Even though he's here in North America to
promote Epitaph's DVD release of his 1998 stand up show Dress
to Kill, he's eager to talk about his burgeoning film career. He's
played disposable henchman (Mystery Men and The Avengers), a
transvestite soldier (All the Queen's Men), a film producer (Shadow
of the Vampire) and most recently Charlie Chaplin (The Cat's
Meow). I caught up with him on the phone from New York, where
he was in the middle of a two-week promotional marathon.
DiSCORDER: Hi, how are you?
Eddie Izzard: Good,  thank you.  I'm  out here in  New York,
promoting this DVD that's coming out.
How do people respond to you in North America? Do they tend
to concentrate on the fact that you sometimes wear women's
clothes?
Yeah, it's still early days here, so they will do that thing of going on
and on about it. Maybe a third or a half of the interview might be
on that because it's kind of odd and interesting to the interviewer.
And then they move on to my work which, thankfully, they seem to
like. They gave Dress to Kill two Emmys which is very bizarre, and
it's been played on HBO for a year now. It keeps coming back up,
so it's all going great. The next tour I'm gonna play 15,000 seaters
all over America.
14 February 2002
You famously did some gigs totally in French. Will you be
touring Europe again and trying again with the foreign language
comedy?
Well, if you look on the Dress to Kill DVD it's got the French show
on there, so it shows you where I'm up to in regards to learning
French. Hopefully, I'll be touring France again next year.
I've heard you're learning German too, so you can perform a
German language show. Is this true?
Yeah, I'm gonna do German as well.
I remember seeing a documentary of you doing the French
show and it was almost painful to watch. Hasn't this experience
scared you off?
No, that's the whole thing—you start off and it's scary and so you
go back in, Robert the Bruce-like, to try and try again and then
slowly you get better. I'm always crap when I start. But it was
also that I had cameras there. I set it up wrong. And there were
a number of things going on that I wasn't happy with for the first
ever one. But I just thought, "fuck it, I'll do it," and I was crap. But
you know if you start crap you can't get any worse.
You've been putting stand up on the back burner recently and
doing more dramatic acting roles?
Yeah, because I've been pushing to do dramatic work for... well
that's what I wanted to do in the first place. And... err... you know
this Cat's Meow film with Peter Bogdanovich.
Which I saw last night. A great performance by you.
Oh great. Thank you very much. I was really pleased with what I
did, because my early stuff was not so good because it takes me
time to learn technique. I've got a slow learning curve, but once I
get the hang of it I go, "ahh, this is what I was supposed to do" and
I pick it up eventually.
Yeah, I've been watching some of you're early stuff—Mystery
Men for instance—and your performance as Charlie Chaplin in
The Cat's Meow is a great improvement on that. Not that I want
to slag you off or anything.
Well, absolutely do. It's better to have the truth be told because,
y'know, in Mystery Men maybe there was one scene that I kinda
liked, and some of Circus. Shadow of the Vampire people seemed to
like even though I wasn't really happy with what I did.
In Shadow of the Vampire, I was totally happy with what you did,
I just thought the film itself didn't work.
Oh right, I liked the film. But they did change it in the editing and
made it into a different film. They obviously had some problems
tinkering around trying to get it to work. It's quite an unusual film
and I do just disappear from the story. People said "Yeah, where
did you go?" I just went to the loo. Went to the loo and never came
back. I actually wrote a letter. There's actually a letter to try and
explain where I've gone. But they never used it.
In The Cat's Meow, you play Charlie Chaplin. Did you study lots of
his old footage?
No, not really, because I'd already studied him in '89. Actually,
when it was the hundredth anniversary of his birth, I'd read all
about him because I couldn't work out why people laughed at him
and I didn't find him funny. I eventually found that if you watch
him in a cinema—that's what the films are designed for, so that's
what I did. I saw City Lights, and found that funny. I saw some of
his earlier shorts and I found them funny. And I read his biography
and I found it fascinating.
I always thought of him having a bad reputation for inseminating
young girls but in this film he was almost the hero.
It's interesting, because in one way you could look at him as the
hero. But other people have written and said: "Oh no, he was very
ruthless in his trying to get kids into bed. A one track mind."
It didn't seem to come across like that, I thought you made him
quite a sympathetic character.
Well I'm not judging. I just realized that all the stuff in his films had
nothing to do with this film. It was just two days he spent on a boat
trying to get laid. And err... I think he'd just learned to how to flirt,
in actual fact. Because I think that was his problem; that's why he
kept getting off with 16 year-olds—because he didn't know how to
talk to women. He didn't know how to talk them into bed.
I read in interviews that like Chaplin you finally learned to flirt
rather late in life.
Yeah, I was always bad at flirting. I lost the ability to flirt when I
was a teenager. 1 was better at flirting when I was young—well,
actually, I didn't even think about flirting; 1 just used to play kiss
chase with girls. And when 1 left school I lost all that and only got
it back in my twenties. •
Notable Filmography:
A Revenger's Tragedy (2002)
All the Queen's Men (2001)
The Cat's Meow (2001)
Shadow of the Vampire (2000)
Circus (2000)
Mystery Men (1999)
Eddie Izzard: Dress to Kill (1998)
The Avengers (1998)
Velvet Goldmine (1998)
Eddie Izzard: Glorious (1997)
Eddie Izzard: Definite Article (1996)
Eddie Izzard: Unrepeatable (1994)
Eddie Izzard: Live at the Ambassadors (1993) STILL MAKING
BEAUTIFUL MUSIC
TOGETHER
BRADY CRANFIELD AND NICK KRGOVICH
TALK ART AND AESTHETICS
Interview by Susy Webb
PP
"Beautiful" is a word that exists in the shady reaim between
poignancy and cliche. Used to catalogue banalities and fill out
stock linguistic forms, ("What a beautiful day!" "Beautiful car
you've got there.") it just as often effectively describes the few
moments of transcendence that our imprecise human sensibilities
pick up on. I sat down with Brady Cranfield (The Secret Three, etc.)
and Nick Krgovich (p:ano, Burquitlam Plaza, etc.) to hash out this
argument as it relates to the upcoming Beautiful Music festival,
to be held this February 14th through 16th at the Sugar Refinery.
In the luxurious (read: free and dry) lounge of a downtown hotel,
I was lucky enough to listen to these two up-and-coming young
musicians discuss genuine musical beauty vs. "self-conscious
preciousness," the best-looking bands in town, and who first
got the pair of blue sneakers they were both wearing. [The last
argument was edited out for purposes of taste. —DiSCORDER]
Brady, you're the main organizer. How long has the festival been
going on, and why did you decide to start it up?
Brady: I think this is the fourth year.
Nick: Yeah....
[They both burst into laughter, as the sports fans in the lounge bar
start to cheer....]
Brady: Is there a game on tonight?
Nick: I think it's a repeat.
Brady: They're watching a repeat, and they're actually getting
mad like that?
That's not the TV? Are those actually real people?
Brady: Yeah, they're real people.
Wow. People care so much about such stupid shit.
Brady: (sighs) Yeah, it's true. Like beautiful music, for example. So
yeah, this is I think the fourth year, and I started it, 1 guess for the
same reason I guess I do everything—because 1 care about music.
I guess that sounds trivial and naive, but that's the reason why I
did it. There's so much wonderful, excellent music in this city that
just needs to be heard.
So, Nick, this is your fourth year performing in the festival. Your
band, p:ano, I imagine gets described as beautiful all the time.
Brady: Except behind his back...
Thanks, Brady. Seriously, Nick, what's your take on that? What
do you think beautiful music really is?
Nick: I guess it's different for different people. I have a few
problems with the concept of "beautiful music." There's so much
easy listening stuff available, as opposed to music that's more
challenging or substantial. And for me, hopefully, beautiful music
is when something challenging and substantial comes together
with something that sounds genuinely beautiful, as opposed to
just pretty chords and pretty singing. For me, beautiful music
is always something that contains some sort of evil, something
wrong underneath it, as opposed to something....
Happy, light, easy?
Nick: Yeah.
Brady: When the festival started, there was a similar aesthetic in
mind. There was a festival being held in London organized by the
band Labradford called the Festival of Drifting. It was bands that
were more ambient in character, music that wasn't necessarily
delicate or pretty, but instead subtle, understated. At first, that
was an aesthetic that I tried to cultivate, but over the years it's
become more of a pop music festival. I think it'll become more and
more like that, still with certain things in mind. Smaller combos,
smaller in terms of density and sound level. p:ano returns again
and again, because their sound captures the spirit of the festival
as it's been. I could see it becoming more of a Yoyo A Gogo type
of affair, maybe if 1 were a more organized person. But the idea of
beautiful music is entirely subjective, and the festival will grow to
incorporate a variety of music types, and not just the cliched ideas
of what constitutes beauty.
I know you're involved in a lot of other stuff, Brady, like several
other bands. What are they?
Nick: [scoffs, laughing in disbelief]
Watch it, I'll make you list yours, too!
Nick: No!!
Brady: Well, let's see. There's The Secret Three. There's Video
Tokyo. There is Cowbell, which is electronic stuff I do. There's the
Countless Jibes, which is the practice I just came back from.
Who else is in that one?
Brady: Its kind of a novelty, probably just a one-off show. It's got
a bunch of people who work at Zulu with me, everyone who wants
to be in the band. Plus Steve Ballo. I can't think of what else. Oh!
Sparrow. Drumming for Sparrow's pop group.
Nick: Mimi's Ami!
Brady: Fuck! Mimi's Ami! I think that's it.
Nick: Yeah, that's it.
So which one is the most beautiful?
Brady: Well, I'm pretty lucky, because I think they're all really
beautiful.
Nick: I vote for Mimi's Ami.
Brady: Yeah, Mimi's Ami is pretty beautiful; The Secret Three is
beautiful, and I like to think Video Tokyo is beautiful in its own
dirty, rock sort of way. But um, the ones that would play the
festival are The Secret Three, Mimi's Ami or Sparrow.
I'm surprised that The Secret Three aren't playing.
Brady: Well, oftentimes I end up doing too much, and it's hard to
enjoy what I'm participating in. Although, I am going to help The
Department, playing the drums. But that doesn't count as a band,
really.
Yeah, yeah sure.
Brady: 1 mean, if he wants me to fill in for him, I'll fill in. It's not a
band, 1 swear!
As far as the Vancouver scene goes, who do you think the most
beautiful bands are? This can be physical, musical, whatever...
Brady: The best-looking bands... I'd say that it's easier to say best-
looking musicians. I'd say that Chris Harris would be right up there
at the top of the list. He's sort of unhealthy-looking, which is quite
striking.
Glamorous? Heroin chic?
Brady: Some people might want to take care of him. Scott Malin is
really good-looking.
Nick: (laughing) Why don't you just say t,he entire Secret Three?
Brady: Well,  I  don't think  Rob and I  really compare. [What
charming modesty! However, definitely unmerited —Susy]
How about you, Nick?
Nick: I'd say Jerk With a Bomb, on all counts.
Brady: Yeah. They might be the best band in Vancouver right
now.
Nick: I think they are. Then why aren't they playing the festival?
That's a good question.
Brady: Mostly it's because they're really fucking loud, and because
of the sound problems with the Sugar Refinery. With their new
downstairs neighbours, certain things are not encouraged. Louder
bands disturb their environment.   Maybe if Beautiful Music was
in a different place.... Like what I was saying earlier, imagining it
as something bigger, with a little more variety, Jerk With a Bomb
would be first on my list. I can't get enough of their music.
We take a break, deciding to have a quick drink before calling it a
night. As we walk down the street, Nick rhapsodizes about Glenn
Gould's skill at giving pithy sound bites. Brady mentions how
hopped up the pianist was on various drugs, and Nick considers this
as a possible means to giving better interviews. A drink is definitely
in order. We arrive at the Morrissey, where we imbibe Boilermakers,
a drink introduced to me by that great drinking expert and Beautiful
Music performer, Jon-Rae Fletcher. More philosophical thoughts
about beauty follow naturally....
Nick: Well, my ideas about music have changed over time.
Brady: When you first played you were what, like twelve years
old? [Nick was 16 when he first performed at Beautiful Music
-DiSCORDER]
Now life has changed? You've become harder?
Nick: No, it's just that....
Brady. Sweet music is easy to do....
Nick:   Remember   what   you   pointed   out   about   the   word
"understated" before? I find that to be a really important word.
There are so many bands out today that are hitting people over
the head with how precious and sweet their songs are. It's really
a terrible thing if those things get lumped in with what Brady's
trying to put together. Because there's a huge difference.
Brady: It's the difference that four years might make to you, 1
think. As an aesthetic matures within itself, it becomes more rigid,
more of a performance. I think you're absolutely right. There's way
too much music that's self-consciously precious. But at the same
time there's a lot of music that self-consciously rocks....
Nick: I was also thinking about the mood four years ago, when the
Beautiful Mu,sic notion was on the tip, just coming into being. Right
now, that's not so much the case, in the greater music world as
well. It seems less timely now, but still not any less important.
Brady: Wow. That's good.
Nick: Yeah, that was a good quote. Wow.
That was a good quote. Well, anything else to add?
Nick: No, I'm going to stop there.
Beautiful! •
15 DiSCORDER HOW
A NUN
OGET
PREGNANT
RUMINATIONS WITH BRUCE MCCULLOCH
Interview by Luke Meat, Introduction by Chris Eng
PP
Bei
:
Bruce McCulloch is an actor. He is a comedian. He is a director. He
is a musician. Bruce McCulloch was a member of Kids In The Hall.
He enjoys booze. He likes rock and dirty jokes. He has a new album
called Drunk Baby Project.
Writing an intro for Bruce McCulloch is like writing an
introduction for the Prime Minister. Almost everyone already
knows who he is, so why bother? The only difference is that most
people like Bruce McCulloch. And he likes you too—provided you
bring the hooch.
DISCORDER: When was the last time you wore a dress?
BRUCE McCULLOCH: With the Kids in the Hall tour. It was about
six months ago...no, who am I kidding—it was last week. If I
think that there may be a burglar outside, I put on a dress so that
hopefully they won't kill me; they'll like me instead.
On your new album Drunk Baby Project there is a track entitled
"For the Ladies," in which you describe having sex with a woman
while your mom listens in on the speakerphone. Has she heard
this yet?
She has... it's just something you've got to do. That song is so out
there, that I don't think my mom thinks that I actually do that.
Bits like that are not actually based on my life, it's more like a
weird old man that likes watching women dance around in '50s
style lingerie. It's based on who I am and what I see, but it's mostly
theoretical.
You also pull out an old gem, "The Hangover"...
That is an old gem! We dug that out because Craig Northey (from
The Odds), who plays on the record with us—"The Hangover" was
always one of his favorites, so we kinda fooled around with it in
the studio....
That being said, have you pissed the bed yet this year?
No, I've been very well behaved.
What is your drink of choice Bruce?
Bourbon weenies. Two ounces of bourbon and four wieners.
Being from Calgary, have you seen the movie FUBAR yet, and did
16 February 2002
it hit close to home at all?
Yeah! I thought it was excellent! It reminded me of the guys that
used to beat me up rather than the guys that grot beat up. I used
to wear heavy metal t-shirts and lumberjack shirts just because
I thought everyone was wearing them. Someone had to come up
to me and [say] "you dress like a banger." I just thought they were
nice warm shirts. I never realized that it was a look.
What was your directorial debut?
We did a little thing called Thirty Second Stories which was on
video, and I'm kind of a pig, so I could do like, six in a day. Brian
Connelly from Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet did all the
cardboard puppets and all the puppeteering.
Will you ever direct another black and white scene?
Possibly. This is why it's easier to make records, because it's hard
to have outlets for weird little things. I've directed three movies in
five years and realized that I don't like directing so much. A record
only takes a couple of weeks to do, rather than two years. I'd like
to do some other weird little things; I just don't know what they
are yet.
Now that you've moved on to Hollywood, have you maintained
your surrealist directorial ethic?
It's really hard. The great thing about doing short films is that
they can become "style pieces." it's a rough landscape to do an
entire "weird movie," so I kind of sneak things in. For example in
Superstar I had all the cars be green Volkswagen Bugs. It's more
in the detail. 1 think you have to sneak it in more with American
movies.
You've always been outspoken about your hatred of reggae and
jazz music. What's in the CD player right now?
I don't know, lets go take a look... now that I'm making the big
Hollywood dollars 1 can now afford one of them fancy 5 disc
things... Lets see... Clem Snide... Nick Lowe... and The Guess Who's
greatest hits.
Since September 11th, is there a way to remain satirical
without being perceived as "anti-American" or a "terrorist
sympathizer"?
It's weird... it's not a very subversive time right now, that's for
sure. On the last Kids In The Hall tour we had a new skit, which is
about how all the firemen get all the pussy. It's like, "if you don't
put out for firemen then the terrorists win," and that went over
really well; people loved it. But is that talking to "mainstream
America"? I don't really think so. We're only performing for 2500
people a night. Since working down here (USA), I've noticed that
confrontational ideas are really hard to get across to the general
public. I think sentiment needs to be clear in a general way so that
Americans will understand it. The most subversive news program
here is 60 Minutes.
For the uninitiated, can you please tell us who Reid Diamond
was, and how his death affected you?
Well... he was my brother. He was the guy in A/most Famous who
loved rock more than anything else. He made me want to move to
Toronto. He taught me how to have expressive thoughts. I don't
want to say that there wouldn't be Kids In The Hall without him,
but... he was the one that taught me that life can be as weird or
artistic as you want it to be.
Do fans still approach you and quote skits, and if so, how do you
deal with them?
I'm a very private person. I thought at the beginning of my career
that that would end my life. It's not like someone approaching
you in a club; it's like when you're coming home at three in the
afternoon with some KFC and this total stranger walks up to you
and pretends to know you just because they saw you on TV. The
thing that I realized is our fans aren't like Julio Igleisas fans, they're
kind of cool cats and weirdos and I realized that I really like them.
Can you tell us your favorite joke?
Um... it's very dirty....
Um... Fuck her?
Yeah! You fuck her! • ORDER FROM DiSCORDER
MAKING SENSE OF TWENTY YEARS WORTH OF
DISCORDANT RAMBLINGS.
A humble program guide is born, it stumbles, takes its
first steps, haltingly makes it through childhood and
then is suddenly twenty and getting kicked out of its
parents' house for having a kegger and kicking in the
door to the bathroom. Or something.
Consider these seven pages a scrapbook, then, chock
full of snapshots taken somewhat randomly throughout
the course of its life. We should all be so lucky if we
come off half as well as this little mag, or manage to
not get thrown out of our parents' house.
Either one. Happy anniversary, DiSCORDER.
All of us at Point Grey's finest radio station are pleased
to present Discorder. Caution though! Discorder is not
meant to be taken on its own. Chances are, that if this
mag is read in its entirety by a non-listener, terrible things
might happen; bewilderment, nausea, or even death. For
this reason we advise that Discorder be cut with 100%
pure CiTR. One part Discorder to nine parts CiTR. Simple.
Remember though, don't get carried away with Discorder.
Its purpose is not to curb your aural fixation, but to
enhance it.
So what is Discorder? Why does a radio station put out a
program guide? Essentially, to improve communication,
and isn't that what radio is ali about? By improving
communication everyone benefits. Publishing this guide
means that you'll be able to read about the music that CiTR
playlists and to find out when CiTR broadcasts its various
features. At the same time Discorder gives us (the people
behind the dials) a chance to hear from you. Something on
your mind? Write to the Airhead. He wants to her from you.
Hopefully Discorder will reflect not only what happens at
Vancouver's alternative music station, but what happens
in the city itself so far as music, entertainment, and
innovation are concerned.
Now that you know what Discorder is, I'll tell you a few
things about CiTR. CiTR is UBC's student radio station
which broadcasts from the Point Grey campus. Because
the station is licenced as a low power operation, some
parts of the city get better reception than others. If you
can't get us at precisely 101.9 FM, even with an antenna,
you're in a sound warp and will have to plug into your
cablevision outlet and tune to 100.1 FM. (Call CiTR or the
cable company for details.)
CiTR is a non-profit, non-commercial station. Money comes
from two sources: directly from student's pockets via Alma
Mater Society fees, and from off-air activities undertaken
by the station. These things include playing music in UBC's
Pit and hiring out our mobile sound service. The station
is run by about 100 volunteers (with one full-time, paid
employee) who are mostly UBC students. Membership
is open to everyone: students and non-students. Your
support and help is always needed, so if you are interested,
why not drop by?
Being a non-commercial station, CiTR is free to explore the
vast realm of today's music which is located just beyond the
sight (or should I say "sound") of most other stations. Our
Playlist is not generated by a computer from somewhere
PP
"back east" or down "south." We are not afraid of playing
music or airing spoken word material that transcends
what commercial programmers view as the "proper norm."
CiTR has been an alternative music station since the mid-
seventies and we know that there are no "proper norms"
for music or anything else. We also know that a large
segment of the city's population is sick of listening to the
same old tried-and-true sounds of commercial radio. You
now know that an alternative exists. As one longtime CiTR
deejay recently remarked, "We have no target market, we
have nothing to sell. Our market is anyone who wants to
listen." Nuff said.
If it all goes well, Discorder will be your monthly guide to
CiTR. It will continue to be free and will be available at
some of Vancouver's finest locations. Wasn't the place you
got this one nice? Till March 1st then, keep listening. CiTR
is designed to satisfy you aurally.
Michael Mines, editor
February, 1983
What he said. Well, pretty darn close, anyway.
Chris Eng, editor
February, 2003
17 DiSCORDER Most Interviewed Person: Jean Smith
Congratulations on 20 years of documenting,
supporting and creating Vancouver's music scene! For
the next 20 years of Discorder I predict a better sense
of collaboration between musicians, artists and the
community by the development of creative alliances for
touring, booking, promoting, dental care, disabability
and equipment insurance. That's what I'm working on.
Hey, can I set up an interview to discuss these plans?
(...just kidding...)
- Jean Smith, Mecca Normal
PP
THE FACTS
How many sleepless nights does it take to make an index?
Number of issues: 237.
Number of issues the editor read while compiling this issue: All
of them.
Number of hours editor spent reading old issues: 176.
Times hands washed to get rid of cheap black ink: Incalculable.
Number of editors over the past twenty years: 20.
Longest tenure as editor: Miko Hoffman (August '96-June '99)
She kept it in and kept it in and kept going and didn't stop. No
screaming,-no punching the walls—Miko Hoffman, professional
editing machine.
Shortest: There were a couple of one month blips on the radar. "I'm
expected to do what?! Uh, see ya."
Number of production managers: 10. First we   didn't have one,
then we did. Then we got rid of the position and split it up for a
few years. Then we reinstated it. Then we canned it, demoted it to
"Production Assistant," and waited a few years before promoting
them back. Gone again. Back. Nope, no respect ever.
Definition of a production manager: "Doing everything and not
knowing what the fuck is going on."—Merek Cooper, current
production manager
Number of interviews run: 1213.
Most devoted contributor: Janis McKenzie. Got her first column,
Demo Derby, in September, 1985. She still writes for us. We love
Janis, even if she's totally mad.
Longest running columnist: Tania Bolskaya's Video Philter (june
1992-August 2000). How many movies can you cover in eight
years? A lot.
First movie reviewed: Repo Man (#20, Sep. '84). How's that for
cred?
Regular feature whose name has never changed: Airhead.
Longest-running advertiser: Zulu Records (#1, Feb. '83).
Most outdated position: Typesetter.
Most outdated job still done: Paste-up.
Most outdated piece of equipment still used in printing process:
Mimeograph machine. Oust kidding.)
Number of years since Vancouver stopped being fun: If you trust
the writers, it was never fun.
Number of years since DiSCORDER stopped being fun: If you
trust the readers, it was never fun.
Ages of core staff (Editor, Art Director, Production Manager, Ad
Rep) when DiSCORDER debuted: 9, 4, 6, 8. No, they're not in any
particular order, and we're not going to tell you who is who.
First tabloid issue: #80, September '89. Is bigger better, or does
size even matter at all?
Number of times Grant Lawrence used the word "fuck" during
his tenure as 7" reviewer (April '92-June '95): 46.
"Shit": 47.
18 February 2002
"Jizz":l.
The phrase "take a long hard suck on the cheesy end of my dirty
fuck-stick": 1.
Number of times Julie Colero used the word "fuck" during her
tenure as 7" reviewer C/uly '99-Aug 'Ol): 3.
"Shit": 4.
"Crap": 5.
"Poo": 3.
"Spazz": 5.
The phrase "prolapsed anus": O.
Three most amazing interviews:  Hunter S.  Thompson  (#42),
William S. Burroughs (#67), Allen Ginsberg (#29). DiSCORDER: The
Heart of Underground Literature.
Most inexplicable interview: U2 (#6, Jul. '83). DiSCORDER: Home
For Irish Wankers To Talk About How Much They Want To Be
Popular.
Most interviewed band: NoMeansNo (5 times, 4 + 1 as the Hanson
Brothers).
Most interviewed person: jean Smith ( 5 times, 3 with her and 2
with her band, Mecca Normal).
Most conspicuous band we've never interviewed: The Evaporators.
(C'mon, Nardwuar works up here—how much nepotism do you
think goes  on  between  CiTR and  DiSCORDER? Yeah,  you're
probably right, but we do try to keep up appearances.)
Longest dormant rivalry in need of resuscitation: CiTR vs. CFOX.
Most gratuitously promoted religion: Church of the SubGenius
(#59, Dec. '87). We gave them the centre spread. And not even an
article—we reprinted one of their propaganda pamphlets verbatim!
Well, in retrospect, we suppose it could have been the Raelians.
Best non-interview: Crass (#22, Nov. '84). We didn't even interview
them; we interviewed some guy who hung out with them.
Most shit we've   ever publically given a writer: The Werner
Herzog non-interview (#159, Apr. '96). Apparently Mark didn't
turn in his Werner Herzog interview, so we ran a blank page with
this accompanying text written in huge Jiffy Markered letters:
"This month... DiSCORDER goes interactive! To access our feature
on WERNER HERZOG please call xxx-1403. Ask for Mark... and
speak abusively." Except we printed his whole number that time.
Because we  at DiSCORDER abhor tardiness and irresponsibility.
Columnists take note.
Most bizarre contest we've run: "Where's Billie's Willie?" (#153,
Oct. '95) We hid Billie Joe from Green Day's penis somewhere in
the magazine. If you could find it, you could win free tickets to a
show! Did you find it? Did you even want to look at the magazine
after that?
Number oftimes Bif Naked has appeared on the cover: 1, with her
band Gorilla Gorilla (#99, Apr. '91).
Most intriguing Bif Naked quote: "I just want to be me. Jessica
Rabbit, Exene, Madonna, Rosanne Barr, and Billie Holiday rolled
Most dramatic changeover of core staff: March 2001, all women;
December 2002, all men.
THEY SAID WHAT?!
Famous people said stuff and we quoted them on it.
"Well, what happens is Allison sprays Binaca into people's mouths,
and I take a Polaroid of it as it's happening. And we study the
results and determine whether or not that person is a robot based
on their reaction." —Chris of Paper Moon explains one of their
extra-band hobbies. (#236, Dec. 02)
"There's not a lot going on there and it closes really early. I love
Montreal for that—for its happening... cultural... heroin access."
-David Cross on Toronto's night life. (#235, Nov. 02)
"We have groupies. Mostly... male. 1 don't have to tell anyone what
the ratio is between male and female gaming people and computer
geeks. Because that's our core audience—I'd be the first to admit it."
-Toren Atkinson, Darkest of the Hillside Thickets (#234, Oct. 02)
"Winnipeg=depressing. The owner of the venue looked like half
Woody Allen and half Sinead O'Connor. I also threw a tuna fish
sandwich at a 13 year old boy. (I swear he flipped me off!)" —Tour
diary entry from The Gossip's Brace Paine. (#234, Oct. 02)
"Big wheels and little pants, not big pants and little wheels."
-Bangs'Sarah Utter on skateboarding. (#233, Sept. 02)
"Conquer everywhere. Today, Mission; tomorrow, Comox." —
Spreadeagle's plans for world domination. (#233, Sept. 02)
"We owe fuckin' RAD-itude to beers at 7am, and fucking skating
naked down hills, just your average bullshit. Just livin' gnar. It's our
lifestyle, man." -Jonny, STREETS (#230, June 02)
"I think it's more important to feed people on Hastings Street
than go to a demo made up of mostly middle-class people who can
afford to eat on their own." —Jeff Kraft of The Attack on Food Not
Bombs. (#230 June 02)
"When I used to go see Iron Maiden it scared the shit out of me.
They were telling a scary story and I didn't know what was gonna
happen next. I think that's really absent from the current music
scene. It's gotten much too boring." -Al Johnson, US Maple. (#228,
Apr. 02)
"We're not a keyboard band. We're an organ band. There is a
difference. The organ weighs approximately 2500 lbs." —The
Organ (#227, Mar. 02) "Any record where the drummer is the weirdest looking dude in
the group, that's a good record. If the drummer has buckteeth or
a tooth growing out of his forehead, buy that record." —Jeff Spec,
City Planners (#226, Feb. 02)
"We believe that heckling is a lost art in and of itself. If there is
someone who can come up with creative heckles, welcome! In
Calgary we had some guy shouting out Iron Maiden and Judas
Priest song titles so Cam sang the first line of every song and he
shut up." -3 Inches of Blood (#226, Feb. 02)
"I've always been a huge fan of his work, as well as the amazing,
almost superhuman ability he exhibited in living both a sybaritic,
extremely debauched life, coupled with an unflagging dedication
to his work. I don't know how he did it: drinking and other sensual
pursuits until four AM, then working in the studio until noon or
so, then sleping a few hours, then repeating the process. It's really
heroic, in a way." —Michael Gira on Francis Bacon. (#225, Dec. 01)
"As long as they don't shoot me, I don't care. If they shoot me I
hope they're good shooters; I don't want to be paralyzed and live."
— Udo Kier on obsessive fans. (#221, Aug. 01)
"We don't have any particular political agendas, apart from
attempting to overthrow the monarchy and to introduce
communism. And to make sure that women don't go anywhere.
Make sure." -Stuart, Mogwai (#220, July 01)
"There was the Woodstock concert a few years back and I went to
it thinking, 'Wow, this will be neat. It will restore the vision of the
original Woodstock where people were saying the system is fucked
up but we're going to fight against the system but be good to one
another.' But when I got to Woodstock it was like a bunch of bands
on stage getting the crowd to chant 'Show us your tits!' to every
girl that was pulled up on stage, and I was thinking, 'God, where
have we come?'" -Michael Franti (#220, July 01)
"We were originally all nurses at this hospital. We didn't know
each other, but we kept on getting in trouble because we kept
making out with all the patients—the comatose ones—we were
making out with them all the time. Finally they caught us and
kicked us out, and we thought, 'What are we going to do if we can't
be nurses?' So what better thing to do than start a band?" —Katie
Lapi, Operation Makeout (#215, Mar. 01)
"We were raised... to say there is no God is the only unforgivable
sin. So that's the only thing I won't do." —Beth, The Gossip (#214,
Feb. 01)
"Jealousy. I could get into a club in Margaret Street, The Speakeasy.
He couldn't. I was drunkish and he just kicked the shit out of me.
Hurt too." —Simon Fisher Turner on getting boot-fucked by Sid
Vicious. (#214, Feb. 01)
"War is bad. There's not much else to say—although there have
been some amazing technical advances because of war. Like
magnetic tape. Imagine a world without magnetic tape." —The
Lollies (#212, Nov. 00)
"DiSCORDER isn't afraid to publish what the people say. And you
guys even swear a lot." —Paul Plimley (#212, Nov. 00)
"I have ben approached, and I've turned it down because I could
afford to. There may come a time. I've always turned it down
because I think my relationship is between myself and my
audience, not between some fucking ad agency and their clients
and burgers and jeans." —Matt Johnson of The The on licensing.
(#212, Nov 00)
"I was speaking with someone yesterday who said dat Trinidad
played well against Canada and beat them, and I said to him,
'Did you know dat I played football [soccer] when I was in school
in Jamaica for the school team?' I actually played on one of da
Jamaican teams, and he couldn't believe it." —Byron Lee (#211,
Oct. 00)
"That border is the biggest hassle. We never get that kind of
trouble anywhere else. In Italy, when they searcJied us with dogs
it wasn't as big a hassle. And they found the drugs." —Spencer
Moody of the Murder City Devils on the US/Canadian border. (#211,
Oct. 00)
"The scene is shit. There's nowhere to play, probably because there
are no good promoters. And there's maybe five good bands to see,
tops." -Ryan of The Spitfires on Vancouver. (#210, Sep. 00)
"All of our influences you've never heard of, we're that cool. We're
so cool that we're influenced by bands that you wouldn't know."
-Ernie, Removal (#210, Sep. 00)
"I mentioned Berlin... It was a music festival, many bands a few
(indoor) venues. Some of the other bands were staying at the
same hotel. We go off and do the gig... got back, found no one at
the hotel, broke into the kitchen (stole the key), made ourselves
a fry-up, looked at the register, found Hole listed as staying,
borrowed the hotel keys for their room, broke in, rifled through
their belongings, found a paperback, tore out the last page,
found a passport, put a salami slice in the middle, put all back as
untouched, went back to the kitchen, did washing up, replaced all
keys, left all as untouched, went back to rooms and played cricket
with oranges and baguettes." —Bid, Monochrome Set (#209, Aug.
00)
"I once did a show in Philadelphia and some poor soul came up
afterwards and said he wouldn't listen to anything but Mecca
Normal. I thought, 'Oh God. I don't know what to say to you, guy.'"
-Jean Smith, Mecca Normal (#208, Jul. 00)
"The farthest we've travelled to play was the tour we did across
downtown Vancouver! We played the Brickyard on a Thursday and
the Pic on a Friday. Wow. It's been rough being together that long.
We fought, the van broke down somewhere on the way, and Craig
choked on a chicken wing." —Sandra, Lavish (#208, Jul. 00)
"Kids rock. Older people might stay away 'cause they can't have
a beer, but we encourage old people to drink in their cars before
the show. It's cheaper and more fun. There's no one to put a limit
on you. So drink on up and come in. Drink like crazy—responsibly,
please." —Kepi of the Groovie Ghoulies on all-ages shows. (#204,
Mar. 00)
"I'm starting a new world order with other Jews. We Kill
Everybody." —Atom of Atom and His Package on his plans for
Christmas. (#202, Dec. 99)
"That's probably correct; 1 mean, I don't count 'em, but somewhere
around that number. I have a big suitcase full of tapes of songs,
and we recently went through them and tried to put 'em on CDs.
Well, we went through maybe one-eighth of the box and that was
150 songs right there." -Bob Pollard of Guided By Voices on having
written over 2500 songs. (#200, Oct. 99)
"The thing in England was that we were 'twee,' and you couldn't
be twee and riot grrrl. You can't have a twee riot. One's all about
shouting and making a fuss, and the other's all about sitting
embarrass-edly aside." —Cathy, Marine Research (#200, Oct. 99)
"I always wanted to go into Bukowski's and act like Charles
Bukowski, you know? Just piss on tables and get into fights and
barf all over the place." -Andy, Submission Hold (#199, Sep. 99)
"It WAS cheesy! But it was a lot of fun, because you don't often
get to experience something like that. At one point, the dancers
stopped dancing because they couldn't understand or relate to a
certain song I was playing. During the show I kept on thinking to
myself, 'What am I doing here?'" —Fantastic Plastic Machine on
playing Electric Circus. (#191, Dec. 98)
"The Disfigurenes' final breakup was due to sexual tensions caused
by three boys and one girl (and I mean in the literal sense). Two of
the boys had the same name, so we were never sure which Jeff
was being referred to during those orgasmic yelps." —Jeff McLoy,
Disgusteens (#189, Oct.98)
"There was a woman named Helen from Washington, DC with
bangs. She has moved to San Francisco and become a firewoman."
-Will Oldham on the early history of the Palace Brothers. (#189,
"We portray righteous living. But we ain't monks. Peaceful living.
But we are militant. If we have to go down, we will go down
fighting for what we believe in." — Black Anger on the messages
that they portray. (#187, Aug. 98)
"I think it was Chris Manfrin from Seam who once told us our
music was 'the soundtrack to chubby mammals wrestling.' I'd say
probably that most of our songs are derived from variations on
TheA-Team theme song." -Jay, Dianogah (#184, Jun. 98)
"I'm really into slam dancing, 'cause I think it's like the total homo-
erotic, masochistic thing. I think it's great, but I want them to
recognize that and say, 'Hey, you know what? I like guys and I like
male bonding, and I'm into it, and I wanna touch their weenies and
stuff,' but they won't admit it. 1 can't get them to admit it. It's so
frustrating. You know, everyone needs to take a dick up the ass
once in a while." —Ronnie of Final Conflict on testosterone-laden
mosh-pitguys. (#183, May 98)
"Flipper, Tantrum, Slade. They are handsome and flirty. They work
hard for the money. Me and Les just kick back and wait for the
babes to come to us, but they never do. I think it's cause we are
rad and girls are intimidated by radness. Is it that or are we dog
meat?" —Lynn Breedlove of Tribe 8 on who in the band gets the
most babes. (#183, May 98)
"I never go to a club to see a show. I rarely do that. I pretty much
stick to my own music. I don't even listen to very many CDs or
anything... At leisure I'm usually watching a hockey game on TV...
I'm the most ordinary person in the world. I'm about as boring as
your dad. Maybe even more so." —Rob Wright, NoMeansNo (#182,
Apr. 98)
"I was riding the bus today and I was thinking about death. I spend
a lot of time thinking about death... I didn't used to, I'm not a goth
chick. I remember riding a bus heading to Utah. We got into Salt
Lake City and the thrill was that there had been a dead guy on
the bus. They had figured it out, but they hadn't told anybody
except for the guy in the back who was sitting next to him. They
just moved that guy and told him not to tell anybody and put a
blanket over the dead guy and left him at the back of the bus."
-Jay Machlahlan (#181, Mar. 98)
"There were a lot of guys in Detroit—music producers, obviously
all men—that I would hang around with. And even if I would ask
them, 'Could you teach me how to program your 808?' they would
say no. I couldn't even touch their machines. Yet another guy
could come over who probably had less of a musical interest than
I did and he would be able to be alone in the room with it, while
there was no way I could touch any of the machines, like there
was some kind of woman virus. I can't understand that; my mom
could program and 808 if I gave her ten minutes." —Rachael Kozak
(#181, Mar. 98)
"It seems like as it gets closer and closer to the millennium
there'll be more surveillance and people watching each other 'til
it gets to the point where everyone has surveillance devices and
cameras. Then, at that point, it'll be obvious that everyone can't
be everywhere at once watching the screens where the cameras
are projecting back to. So then the people will realize that the
surveillance cameras ae just the same as our eyes. Everyone has
the cameras, eveyone needs their eyes to watch them—you might
as well just use your eyes." —Miranda July (#178, Nov. 97)
"The only time you don't have to answer the phone is when you're
having sex—outside of that, you gotta answer the phone." —John,
Mountain Goats (#174, Jul. 97)
"Some kids should try hash and realize that it should never go any
heavier than that." -Mark, Elevator To Hell (#174, Jul. 97)
"I've got about a zillion started novels. I've got about the first
fifteen pages of about ten novels... Maybe with the next record
there'll be the first pages of ten novels. People can fill in the
blanks. Who am I to oppress their imaginations?" —Cecil Seaskull,
NerdyGirl (#174, Jul. 97)
"Jack shit nothing. But eating candy is pretty good." -Lois on what
beats love. (#172, May 97)
"When 1 went over to London in '86, a lot of us would put Canadian
flags on our backpacks because we didn't want to get shit about
Ronald Reagan! No, I'm not American, eh! What do you know, you
fuckin' limey!"* -Tom, Squirrel Nut Zippers (#172, May 97)
"We don't really have any interest in taking over this planet. It'd
be kind of like the equivalent of you guys taking over anywhere in
New Jersey." -Birdstuff, Man ... Or Astroman? (#172, May 97)
"From the old Woodward's department store, we stole the
coin-operated, riding vibrating pony. We hoisted it into our van,
Vageena, which broke down only a block away from Woodward's.
She had to have a hysterectomy so we left her at the side of the
road, and we rode the Woodward's pony all the way home! And it
only cost 10 cents." -Revulva (#172, May 97)
"There's something candy-ass about that, that roller-blade hockey.
I mean, c'mon, get out there at 40 below and use the buffalo chips
for a puck." -Robbie Hanson, Hanson Brothers (#169, Feb. 97)
"My only Valentine's Day suggestion is: don't be shy." —Calvin
Johnson (#169, Feb. 97)
"I'm really tired of hearing everybody—right down to people that
we don't even know—saying, 'You guys are gonna be really huge,
1 can't wait." Well, here I am still waiting, still waiting. After every
show, everybody's like, 'Fuck, you guys are gonna be huge'... it's
like, still waiting, still waiting..." -Renee, Ten Days Late (#168, Jan.
97)
"You know, I'm not really into technology. VCRs maybe. I don't
19 DiSCORDER DiSCORDER DEST COVERS
June 1984
March 1988
June 1989
. THAT MAGAZINE FROM CiTR tuMt
SEPTEMBER ISM FREE
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VL
turn
ifc^t
September 1990
August 1993
May 1994 March 1996
November 1996
February 1999
a emu's OATH
I Promt*, on MV HONOUR
to do my BEST
to do my DUTY
TOMVSELFS.mySBrERS,
to obey MV INSTINCT TO
SURVIVE,
toheipotr*r9
whonevor i can,
toHMpinyMlf
phyakx*y STRONG,
mentally AWAKE
Vmorxiy QUEER.
vfoiHsm Imam, im *mm t**r* MOST INTERVIEWED BAND: NOMEANSNO
We've always found support in publications like
yourselves and it is always appreciated so cheers to
you and your lot. Hopefully we both have a few more
years left in us and anytime you want to make it six just
give us a call.
- John Wright, NoMeansNo
H
like computers very much. 1 don't trust them. They change how
you think. I was eavesdropping on my old boss and she was saying
to her partner in crime that last night she was trying to write
in a journal that she bought and she couldn't do it because she
was used to writing on her computer. You know, shifting things
around. And that was my suspicion, but then I though, 'No, you're
just paranoid.' And here's this person saying she can't think unless
she's at her computer. She can't manually write out her thoughts.
That is evil." -Cindy Dall (#168, Jan. 97)
"Don't use sticks in '96. Use pads." —Lisa G. of cub with a proposed
motto for the band. (#167, Dec. 96)
"The phrase 'planning on selling put' is kind of like the term,
'Christ died for our sins.' It just doesn't make any sense." —Shal,
The Bouncing Souls (#167, Dec. 96)
"I got a stool hurled at me in the van. When it first happened, I
couldn't stop laughing, but then it startd to really hurt." —Allison
of B'ehl on life on the road. (#165, Oct. 96)
"When 1 bake a cake, it's an angry, political, feminist, anarchic cake...
with chocolate icing." -Jean Smith, Mecca Normal (#164, Sep. 96)
"I'm glad to see that DiSCORDER is still taking an interest in the
band. We got our first major exposure in Vancouver through a big
DiSCORDER interview. It happened at a show that we did with the
Violent Femmes, in the first of the '80s. We did this demo of 'Self-
Pity' on the four-track and CiTR played the shit out of that, and
that's basically how we got established and sort of got the name
and could come over here and play." —Rob Wright, NoMeansNo
(#159, Apr. 96)
"There was a girl who writes a 'zine called Montgomery. She came to
the show in Kingston last year, and said she wanted to do an article
on the Smugglers, but more specifically she wanted to do an entire
'zine about me." -Bryce Dunn, The Smugglers (#157, Feb. 96)
"He hung around with 12 guys all his life and he didn't have a
girlfriend or a wife. Who knows?" —Dan Savage on whether Jesus
was gay. (#155, Dec. 95)
"Liam is definitely retarded. I'm actually surprised he can
remember his lyrics and stuff. It's amazing watching him; he's
definitely Neanderthal." —Justine Frischmann of Elastica on Liam
Gallagher (#150, Jul. 95)
"I met Kathlen Hanna over the phone through a friend of mine.
My friend said, 'Talk to Kathleen, she's in Bikini Kill, just say hi.' So
I was like, 'Hi Kathleen, I don't know you but hi.'" —Mary Lou Lord
(#147, Apr. 95)
22 February 2002
"Lots of people think we suck, and in their minds I'm sure we do.
But ours is the only opinion that matters. When you start out in a
band it's so much more fun to be arrogant and make a big joke out
of it than feel all self-conscious about it. The music industry is just
a bunch of schmoozy bullshit. We're here to have FUN. Fuck those
snotty Pavement worshipping alt-rockers and their ilk. We're no
less important than anyone else's fucking band, even if we don't
have our 'chops' up. Besides, we happen to be very friendly, down-
to-earth, no bullshit-type people with great senses of humour. You
don't have to take us seriously, but don't take us for a bunch of
chumps." -Neko Case, Meow (#145, Feb. 95)
"This one woman who was totally drunk came up to us in Kansas
City and said, 'Are you two married?' And I said, 'No.' She said,
'Have you ever dated?' I said, 'No.' She said, 'Where's he?' She was
totally after Scott. So I said, 'Scott! Run away!'" —Rebecca Gates,
The Spinanes (#143, Dec. 94)
"1 worked on a film set for three days and I met this girl on the set.
Anyway, we got to know each other a little bit and on the last day
she ave me a ride home. We got to talking about music [and] I told
her I sang in this band called Sex With Nixon. She said, 'No, you're
not, I've seen them before [and] you're nothing like that guy—he's
crazy and all fucked up on stage!'" —Danny Sather, Sex With Nixon
(#138, Jul. 94)
"Spider-Man was a superhero with angst. All the other superheroes
were like those Vancouver bands: 'I'm great and I know it.'" —Brent
J. Cooper, Huevos Rancheros (#136, May 94)
"Jesus was a marine-dwelling creature, had a nose 150 to 200 feet
long, a regular-sized head, and a body the size of a grapefruit. He
was shaped as a sea-urchin and bobbed through the ancient soupy
seas. Great sheets of boogers would stream down from his nose,
originally meant to capture plankton for food. These boogers
would accumulate on the ocean floor. After many millennia,
covered by sediment, this became the Phlegmatatolithic Strata, or
Phlegmata Bearing Strata (PBS)." -Scribe Z-Harvey-Oswald-27-Z,
The Church of International Secular Atavism (#135, Apr. 94)
"I think it might be the last great bastion of artistic expression,
because it is so easy to do. Two guys on Commercial Drive could
put wires together and broadcast. 1 hope that radio will be a refuge
for the individual and for the person willing to take a chance."
-David Wisdom (#135, Apr. 94)
"Phil Esposito was number seven when he played for the Boston
Bruins." —Bunnt Belke of SNFU on why all their album titles have
seven words. (#131, Dec. 93)
"I have no idea. 1 think it's just a term the media made up. It's just
a term the media made up... so they can talk about something..."
-Juliana Hatfield on what 'riotgrrrl' meant to her. (#129, Oct. 93)
"Well, I feel kind of torn about guns, because you never know;
if you have a gun maybe it will help to protect you, but it could
backfire—not literally, but, well... literally also, but the whole idea
could backfire and the gun might fuck things up. You know what
I mean? Someone else might get his hands on it or you might kill
somebody you don't want to kill. I don't know, I feel weird about
guns. They're probably bad." -Juliana Hatfield (#129, Oct. 93)
"I'm allergic to cool; we've always been three nerdy guys from
Victoria." -Rob Wright, NoMeansNo (#128, Sep. 93)
"We love Seattle, that's why we live there. It's a crazy faggot town
we live in." -Mark Arm, Mudhoney (#121, Feb. 93)
"A friend of mine just died from an overdose and I wrote a song for
her. '1 always wanted to fuck you / But now you're dead.' So what
do I do to keep from forgetting is to fuck them even harder and
harder for their friends who can't fuck them anymore." —Michael
Dean, Bomb (#120, Feb. 93)
"We called Satan. I'm serious. We'd been close before, but this time
he was here. We were sane and everyone else went fuckin' nuts all
night long. Fights, sex, sex, and more sex, lesbianism, more fights.
Southern Comfort dripping through cracks in the ceiling, car
accidents an choppers in our backyard. Big, old choppers. Fuckin'
psychotic evening. Even Arish's 12 year-old sister Christi was
pissed on Long Island Ice Tea, but I was sober. All these 14 year-
olds were totally shamed by us. Maybe it was Mike fucking the
pizza, or Arish the Dirty Girl, or maybe my humiliating boots. We
made $70." -Diary entry by Velvet Cash of Hump (#118, Nov. 92)
"Listen, if you took the sexism out of rock 'n' roll, it wouldn't be
rock 'n' roll." -Billy Childish (#116, Sep. 92)
"If you think the price of the fuckin' ticket is bad, wait 'til you see
what we do to the rest of you—the gold fillings will be picked out
of your teeth, your organs will be sold at outrageous prices on the
black market for organ donation, the rest of you will be ground up
into hamburger, and any bones or cartilage left will be made into
fertilizer. So believe me, we're not through making money out of
you just because you pay the price at the door." —Sleazy P. Martini,
GWAR's manager (#115, Aug. 92)
"If you come see Flash Bastard and I'm lying on the stage with
blood all over my face from taking faceplants into solid objects,
and we've got smiles on our faces while we're bleeding, I can see
why people wouldn't take that seriously. But we're trying to make
a point. It's more subliminal, and we hope that people will pick up on that." -Reverend Donal Finn, Flash Bastard (#114, Jul. 92)
"That will probably always be a novelty classic of the year that
punk truly died." -Courtney Love on Nevermind. (#113, Jun. 92)
"Well, I guess it's a surprise. I mean, people can throw statistics at
us, or whatever, but it really has no direct impact on the band; we
don't see that much of a difference. The shows have been really big
and everything, but we're not really that different. I mean we're
not really any richer. We're not any more assholes than we were
six months ago." —Dave Grohl of Nirvana on topping the charts.
(#108, Jan. 92)
"Let's just say that when we were playing, I puked and swallowed
my vomit." -Aaron Stauffer of Seaweed on the Cruel Elephant's
Mystery Meal. (#102, Jul. 91)
"I don't know. I only like the horny kind." —Blag Jesus of the
Dwarves on whether there are 15 kinds of teenagers. (#102, Jul. 91)
"1 did kick a girl once. 1 did a flip at a DOA concert. Yeah, in
Portland... and I did this flip during "New Wave Sucks" and kicked
this girl in the face, and didn't know about it until people told
me a couple of days later: 'Yeah, you kicked this girl in the face
and kicked her face open. She had to go to the hospital and get
stitches.' I go, 'Really? Do you know her number?' And I didn't
even know who this girl was and I called her up and said, 'Hi, you
don't know me, but um, I guess I kicked you in the face.' She goes,
'Thanks, you're so nice for calling.' Yeah, she says, '1 told my dad
1 got hit with a car door. I said I opened the car door and it hit
me.' I was going, 'I'm really sorry.' She said, 'It's okay." Then I sent
her flowers and stuff because she's got a big purple scar on" her
face and she's a pretty girl and she'll have it for life. Consider us
engaged." -Jerry A, Poison Idea (#101, Jun. 91)
"I think the most negative thing 1 ever heard was somebody in the
audience said 'play for another hour,' and I was really pissed, so I
think we killed that person; Dave killed him with his ass." -Matt,
Sockeye (#99, Apr. 91)
"Just because someone lifts weights that doesn't make them
macho. It could be I lift weights to keep me from getting depressed;
maybe 1 do it so I can try to control my violent urges. Masculinity
is glorious." —Henry Rollins (#98, Mar. 91)
"MONEY, HAHA!" —Mr. Dressup on what got him out on the road.
(#94, Nov. 90)
"All the reporters used to say to me, 'What do you think the Beatles
are going to do when they come to America? Do you think they'll
be a hit?' I said, 'No, I don't think so.' And they said, 'Why not?' I
said, 'Well, in America we have a real good group that I think are
better... called the Beach Boys.'" —Trim' Lopez (#93, Oct. 90)
"We had the good fortune, or misfortune, to go to Calgary for the
first time during the Stampede. As we pulled up to the hotel, one
man chased another man out of a bar. The first guy jumped in his
truck and the other guy jumped on the hood and broke the front
windshield with his heel, then jumped down off as the first guy
was rolling up his window. He put his fist through the window and
just dragged the other guy out. He was angry—boy, was he mad.
It was quite an eye-opener to pull into town and that's the first
thing you see. We figured, shit these guys are serious." —John Doe
(#92, Sep. 90)
"What about Thanksgiving? I should give a fuck about Thanksgiving
when Thanksgiving means to me the day when they jacked the
Indians for the country and started bringing my ancestors over
here at the bottom of the boat? What do I do? I sit up and eat
turkey and then I go out and work my fingers to the bone and I try
to buy my kid a ten-speed bike." -Ice-T (#92, Sep. 90)
"I've got a passion for trucks. I used to be a truck driver; me dad used
to drive a truck. Driving through America is quite nice for me. 1 love
going to all the truck stops and exchanging pleasantries with all the
big, hairy truck drivers." -Mick Brown, The Mission (#89, Jun. 90)
"I don't go to films unless they're what I call gut-pulling movies.
Y'know, a lot of violence and head-bludgeonings and so forth."
-Russ Meyer (#88, May 90)
"I would like to be world famous, but it would definitely have to be
on my own terms. These terms, they come first. If I am supposed
to be a prophet, then I haven't got a clue how famous we'll get
because so far our career has been built on so many accidents."
-Bjork, Sugarcubes (#87, Apr. 90)
"We try to get the cheapest blush they got, slam it down, get a
kinda wacky wine buzz, get dry mouth, drink some water and
drink another bottle of wine. You might puke sooner or later, but it
sure is good." —Kurt, Tad (#87, Apr. 90)
"I do believe in a god who's all thumbs. I believe that the world is
not perfect at all. And I think that to pretend that to have quick sex
with someone who's beautiful makes you perfect is not a very, uh,
natural path." —Exene Cervenka (#84, Jan. 90)
"Well, golly, we got Elvis, Foghorn Leghorn, and Otis the drunk from
The Andy Griffith Show. Well, I guess Elvis would be the Father, an'
Foghorn Leghorn would be the Son, because the Son's the one who
goes out extemporaneously pontificating a lot. He's always talking
an' Foghorn Leghorn has a lot to say. I mean, you could have a
whole book, a new Bible—the "Foghorn Leghorn 1 Say, I Say Son
Bible." Ya know, 'Pay attention when I'm talkin' to ya, boy.' Sharp
as a bowling ball, colder than a nudist on an iceberg. I feel slicker
than two heels fornicatin' in a bucket of mucous membrane. An'
then that would leave Otis to be, he's kinda spiritual, ya know, due
to his imbibin' in the Holy Spirit." —Mojo Nixon on his version of the
Holy Trinity. (#82, Nov. 89)
"Aah just a cheese pizza y'know and aah y'know we have like a
rider that they take care of and which is aah nothing that um...
y'know that um... that way out, y'know what I mean?... nothing
that outlandish you know? As opposed to some people in Europe.
But y'know I mean we're not like that y'know what 1 mean?" —Joey
Ramone on the band's rider. (#79, Aug. 89)
"It was a very unpleasant experience, but not in the way you might
think. It was a very different unpleasant experience, because to
keep the fish from stinking and rotting they had been frozen, and
putting your arms down inside the fish was like packing your arm
solid with something that had been frozen. And when your arm's
in a fish there's no place for it to move. And the fish were heavy.
So it was a feeling of having your whole arm cut off. It wasn't just
slimy and stinky, it was, 'I'm having my arm cut off!' It was very
unpleasant. And also the teeth were very sharp. And a little stub
on one of the fish of Victor's arms pricked him in his arm and it
became infected. We have a theory that he got brain fever from it
and hasn't been the same since." —Violent Femmes' Gordon Gano
on having to wear fish for the back cover of'The Blind Leading The
Naked. (#77, Jun. 89)
"After the show, David started comparing himself to us, to which
Chuck Biscuits replied, 'I don't think so.' To top the evening off,
some of our friends from Reno showed up, put David in a headlock
and demanded to hear one of his cute little screams. They kept
on strangling him until he screamed." —Joey Shithead of DOA on
meeting David Lee Roth. (#73, Feb. 89)
"They've really distanced people from each other... from listening
to each other... from listening to ME, goddamn it. As an artist, as
a fucking artiste, I find it offensive and a little... um... well, it's
offensive, anyway." —RatMan on Walkmans. (#71, Dec. 88)
"Excuse me, I'm talking to you. I said you broke this cigarette. You
owe me five bucks." —High-pitched, firat house Lyres' groupie. (#70,
Nov. 88)
"I think we should annex the state of Washington. I talked to a lot
of people in Seattle. They watch our television. They have a very
high opinion of Canadians. I think if we're going to have a free
trade deal we ought to have a few states join our confederation."
-Leonard Cohen (#70, Nov. 88)
"The old Colt .45 is one of my favourite guns. It takes a lot of
getting used to. But now I can shoot with that better than 1 can
with a .22. It's a good gun. The 9mm Beretta has much more
firepower; it's got 15 shots. I haven't used that gun. But I did use
this Glock, this Austrian thing that's supposed to get through
metal detectors. Which is absurb, because it has twenty ounces of
metal in it. Another piece of junk. I couldn't hit the target with it. It
jammed." —William S. Burroughs (#67, Aug. 88)
"When you've got Iran and Iraq tearing each other's throats
out and American death warfare laboratories, people will have
chickens quite a way down on their list of priorities, obviously,
quite right too. But, on the other hand, if you're a chicken, you've
only got one chance, man. And if you spent it all locked up in a wire
cage smaller than yourself, just so you can be eaten, what?!?!"
-The Jazz Butcher (#66, Jul. 88)
"How 1 see rap is more or less like an art form and then a sport at
the same time, because the competition could be great if the other
rappers had enough self-confidence to put a certain title on the
line. Like the kinda rapper I am, 1 done made records, 1 done been
in a movie, I done did TV shows, and I done did all kinds of things.
And if 1 was to walk to streets right now, and if a rapper that never
did nothin' in his life came up and challenged me, I'd stop whatever
1 was doin' and I'd kick a rhyme to him. And I'd finish him." —Melle
Mel (#56, Sep. 87)
"My tastes run more toward Beethoven, but I find punk a very
interesting experiment. I've been trying to understand it for a long
time and finally the anthropologist William Irwin Thomson gave
me the whole clue in one sentence: he said punk is playing on the
interface between noise and information. I think that defines it
perfectly." —Robert Anton Wilson (#55, Aug. 87)
"Does politics mix with pop music?—Perhaps. Does politics mix
with art?—I have great difficulty with 'art'; it's always spelled with
a capital F where I come from." —Billy Bragg (#49, Feb. 87)
"My sphincter hurts." —Danny, The Spores (#44, Sep. 86)
"It would seem real smart to say that cocaine will enjoy more
massive use and that this crack thing is today's herpes drug. But
what we're going to see—and I say this because I know people in
the business, in Haight-Ashbury, people who are really concerned
about it—heroin is where the drug trade is going right now. I
deplore that. If you're talking to bettors in the marketplace, it
would have been coke five years ago, but crack is just bullshit.
Smack is the one. I don't know why but smack is the most popular,
hippest drug across the board in all the places where people gauge
these things... And 1 don't like that... Where have all the pure drugs
gone? Used to be able to go to the drug store and buy five cartons
of amyls for $12.95." -Hunter S. Thompson (#42, Jul. 86)
"1 thought it was a big joke at first. I didn't know if there would be a
million businessmen coming to see us." —Einsturzende Neubauten
on getting an invitation to play Expo 86. (#40, May 86)
"They're very comfortable. 1 have two pair. They were brand new;
they were these factory mishaps. There were no labels and the
stitching was all fucked up. Fifty cents a throw for spankin' new
knee-length briefs." —Bigleyofthe U-Men on buying underwear at
Goodwill. (#38, Mar. 86)
"The government is playing Brig Brother and it should just be the
janitor." —Limey Dave, Tupelo Chain Sex (#31, Aug. 85)
"I think I've written about as much as anybody would want to read.
I guess ideally you should write more than a sane person would
want to read over the period of a couple of years. And I think I've
already gotten past that limit." —Allen Ginsberg (#29, Jun. 85)
"They thought we were from Surrey, England. When I explained
to them that we were from Surrey, BC, in Canada, they kinda
lost interest. They didn't encourage us to fly over, so I guess
they couldn't have been that interested." —David M. of No Fun on
auditioning for Virgin Records. (#23, Dec. 84)
"All rock 'n' roll is plagiarism. It's true, we steal from all kinds of
places, and we freely admit it. I think more people should admit it
and do it better. At least we only take the good bits." -Gerard Van
Herk, Deja Voodoo (#22, Nov. 84)
"The thing that holds this band together is that we're basically all
goofs." —Andy Kerr, NoMeansNo (#19, Aug. 84)
"There's no difference between voodoo or sex. Any rockabilly band
with any hair on their toes would have a little voodoo in there, or a
little sex in there—or a lot of those ingredients." — Lux Interior, The
Cramps (#16, May 84)
"There is no live set. It just doesn't work that way. I just make it up
as I go along. Y'see, that's what I am—a live performer. The only
reason 1 haven't played here before is because no one asked me. If
they ask me, I'll play Afghanistan, as long as the demand's there."
—Jonathan Richman (#15, Apr. 84)
"Stay home." -Black Flag's Henry Rollins with advice for the
audience of their upcoming gig. (#15, Apr. 84)
"When the term 'punk' came to be, it meant anything that wasn't
Peter Frampton. When it all started out, people were listening to
bands as diverse as the Talking Heads, the Ramones and Blondie.
One was an art band, another a rock and roll band, and the other
a pop group. But they were all punk, because they were different
from the mainstream. Now punk doesn't mean anything, except
people construe 'punk' to mean 'hardcore,' which is something you
do—like DOA—when you first start out and you want to play as
loud and fast as you can." -John Doe, X (#14, Mar. 84)
"Funnily enough, when we picked it, it seemed like a completely
and utterly neutral name." —Bernard Albrecht, New Order (#7, Aug.
83)
"Popularity? It's great, it's what we're here for." —Larry Mullen, U2
(#6, Jul. 83)
23 DiSCORDER LONGEST DORMANT
RIVALRY IN NEED OF RESUSCITATION: CiTR vs. CFOX
I am perplexed! I picked up the June issue of
DiSCORDER and find, to my chagrin, no gratuitous slags
levelled at the Foxoids. What are we doing wrong? How
many alternative radio types does it take to screw in a
light bulb? The question is immaterial as alternative
radio types spend all their money on expensive import
records and can't afford to pay their BC Hydro tab.
- Peter Taylor, CFOX Promotion Director (March 1985)
ff
"There's always going to be people, when anything gets more
well-known, that are going to latch onto the superficial part and
not really absorb what's behind it. I don't agree with turning one's
back on punk because it has lost its meaning. I don't think it has
lost its meaning." —Jello Biafra, Dead Kennedys (#4, May 83)
FIVE HAIKU ABOUT EDITING DiSCORDER
by Barbara Anderson, former editor
Little worries: filth,
inadequacy, commas
out of place. I'm overworked.
Talking on the phone
with promoters is like death
by strangulation.
I used to dig music,
now I'm just numb to all art:
a filthy commerce.
"No, you can't review
your own event in this mag."
They keep on trying!
Better than acid!
The next day, you see typefaces
on all surfaces.
"OH MAN... YOU'RE JUST MAKING... YOU'RE JUST... OH, JUST
FUCK OFF!"
Nardwuar Vs. Our Icons
lello Biafra. May 1989
Mr. Biafra, can we ask you a question?
Real fast.
Okay, what  is the difference between an American and a
That's for you to decide.
What right does the media have to pry into things?
Well you're prying right now.
And is that allowed?
I'm allowing now against my better judgment because your
questions are awfully stupid.
But the thing is wouldn't it be nice to suck up to nice little cub
reporters and lick them? What are your thoughts in regard
to that: people phoning you, hounding you, trying to track
you down. How do you deal with (people) since you have been
elevated in society?
Well, kinda like this: I say farewell to you sir.
Mickey Dolenz, October 1991
Who are you?
Mickey: Don't you know, why are you interviewing me if you don't
know?
Did you quit the Monkees?
Yeah, 1 went solo about two years ago.
And before that, when the initial Monkees broke up, how did the
group disband?
It wasn't a band, I already said this once.
Sorry.
Listen carefully now. It was a television show about a band. So
when the show went of the air, the SHOW went of the air. It's like
Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner didn't hang around together,
you know, after beaming each other up.
Has jealousy ever played a part in your life?
No.
You've never been jealous about movies or parts you've missed,
like for example not being cast as the "Fonz" in Happy Days.
What's the story behind that?
I was up for it as an actor, to play the part of the Fonz, but Henry
Winkler was excellent casting for that, I think. I would have cast
Henry instead of myself if I was the producer.
You've heard of the Plaster Casters, eh?
Yeah, those two girls in the sixties that used to go around taking
Plaster casts.
"Moldings"
Yeah, yeah.
There's that ugly rumour—they said Peter Turks of the Monkees'
plastic molding was right up there with Jimi Hendrix.
That's true.
So that is a true rumour?
Naw.. it's a contradiction in terms son. Get your grammar right.
Later, Mickey.
Goodbye.
Courtney Love. August 1993
Hello, Courtney. Hi, it's me, Nardwuar.
I told him to get you out of here. You're not allowed back here.
I was going to say "hi" to you.
But you're not allowed back here, Nardwuar.
But I just want to say "hi" to you. I brought my camera here, too.
Nardwuar, I hate your fucking guts. You're such a pig.
Courtney, can I get an interview with you?
No, I hate your guts, Nardwuar. You're such an idiot. Why would
I give you an interview? You're an idiot. Why would I give you a
fucking interview?
TimothyLeary. Ian 1994
Are you the Hugh Hefner of LSD?
Now that is the dumbest question... Who's got the award? You've
got the award. I want to congratulate you. I have been interviewed
thousands of times and I have met the greatest professional
crazed interviewers, and you're right up there. You're the Joe
Montana, right?
I'm Nardwuar the Human Serviette, Timothy Leary.
You sure are. I'm not going to argue with that!
Is going through life without a psychedelic experience like going
through life without a sexual experience?
People ask me how many times have I taken LSD. Now, I've been
•experimenting with the brain for forty years. I say, how many
times have 1 made love? I don't count like Wilt Chamberlain the
basketball player, but there's one thing I know: not enough! Not
enough!
When was the last time you were busted?
Oh about seven or eight years ago.
Did you meet Charles Manson in prison, Timothy Leary, and did
he really supply you with hallucinogenics, i.e., marijuana?
No, I was in the same cell nest to Manson for one night. Legends
have developed about that. He did not give me any drugs. I would
never take any drugs from anyone who does not have the qualities
in their eye that I want from that drug. So I would never take drugs
from Manson. This is Tim's Tips to the Young, okay? Don't take
drugs from Manson.
Would Brian Wilson be the same today if he didn't do LSD in the
60s?
Well, I'm a kindly guy and I try to say nothing negative about
anyone. I have always considered Brian Wilson to be a pathetic
moron. It is not his fault. The DNA, you know... We have morons
out there. I don't think that he is a child molester or anything evil,
but he is just plain... his elevator doesn't reach the top floor.
Did JFK ever do acid?
I don't know. They say he did.
But you dropped acid with Marilyn Monroe.
No comment.
Do you still have a mind-blowing experience once a week?
I'm having one right now! I tell you! To be locked up in a cell with
24 February 2002 you...
Didn't the Johnny Appleseeds of LSD live in Vancouver? What are
your memories of Vancouver in the 1960s?
Listen, I'm so senile, I don't remember what was going on last
night at this time, so let's get easy... What is your name?
Nardwuar.
What does it mean in English?
It's like Sting in English.
Bzzzzzzzz.     _
Do the guys with LSD get the most chicks?
The vulgar sordidness of that question  is Olympic. "Getting
chicks". I mean, what does that mean: "getting chicks"? That is a
very vulgar 50's term. Man you are out of it! Out of it!
Thank you very much, Timothy Leary! Do, doodle, do-do...
Me too!!!
Beck, lune 1994
Who are you?
Beck: Uhhhh. I don't know.
You are Beck!
Uh. Who are you?
I'm Nardwuar the Human Serviette!
Uh. Okay.
Beck, do you get booed much?
Umm, I don't think so.
Come on Beck speak up! You're the voice of a generation!
Heh. heh. Rock me Amadeus.You know, I don't—what the fuck?
So, Beck you are coming to Vancouver soon. Who is the Prime
Minister of Canada?
I don't know.
Should you be allowed to play this concert if you don't know who
the Prime Minister is?
Probably not. You should all ban me. I shouldn't even be allowed
to... breathe.
Why should people care about you?
I have no idea, you know.
Beck, speak up, Voice Of A Generation! Speak up! Why should
people care about you? It certainly isn't—
I have no reason.
Hopefully, they are not, caring about your hair, your song "Why
don'tyou kill me?" and a coffin and a squeegee on fi re inyour video.
Oh man...you're just making...you're just...Oh, just fuck off...[click]
Dan Quayle, Feb 1995
Hi. Mr. Quayle, who's the Prime Minister of Canada?
Quayle: The Prime, Prime... Minister of Canada, which just had the,
uh, President, uh, Clinton up there for a, uh, address, and, uh, it's
one thing that George Bush didn't do... Mulroney did not invite him
up. But you now have a new Prime Minister of Canada.
(Although the Secret Service did not mind the presence of our
camera, they sure as hell didn't want Mr. Quayle answering any
more "Canadian" questions, hence, with the flip of a G-man's
elbow, the encounter ended right there.)
Lydia Lunch and Exene Cervenka, June 1996
Who are you?
Lydia: I'm Lydia Lunch.
And who are you?
Exene: I'm Exene Cervenka.
Right now you're very hungry, right?
L:  Well,  that  doesn't  matter.   I'm   hungry  for  an   intelligent
conversation, which I've yet to find.
Lydia Lunch, do you still want to commit suicide?
L: I never wanted to commit suicide, but I'm always ready for
murder.
Why did you guys want Courtney Love's recipe for Prozac
brownies?
L: Do you want me to kill him now or later?
E: We don't, we don't, we were just making a joke. On the record.
Cause you told Lisa Suckdog that you once faxed Courtney, or
Courtney said that you once faxed her while she was on KROQ,
and you were saying-
L: Look, this is how pathological Courtney is. I was living in New
Orleans while she did that radio interview. I don't see how I could
hear KROQin New Orleans and fax her at the time.
This is the problem with RollerDerby, this is Lisa Suckdog's
information. If you can't trust Lisa Suckdog, who can you trust?
E: You're not gonna let me say one fucking thing in this whole
interview - is that all these anonymous people pretend to be other
people, and it's like, it's the medium of the coward and the liar, is
this stupid computer thing.
L: And that's why it's perfect for Courtney.
But this isn't the computer. I got that out of RollerDerby.
E: No, but that's how that stuff gets passed 'round. You said it was
faxed. And you said, you know, that people called.
L: You're quoting these shitty magazines which don't have one iota
of interest in the real truth, and it's all perverted through historical
backlog, and people are so consumed with other priorities that
what do these petty details mean anyway?
Well, keep on rocking in the free world. Doot Doola Doot Doo...
E: No I don't do that. I won't.
Michael Moore. November 1996
Michael Moore (speaking as he get out of his cab): Rise up. Get rid
of the name "British", in your province. You are your own province.
You are your own country. You oughta get the Queen off the
money, get the "British" out of the name. Just, do, man, just like...
come on... you guys got such a great country, as it is. Just, like,
get over it, man. Just get over it. That U.K. thing, man, the Brits,
they're, like, dragging you down, man, they're like a big albatross ,
a big stone around your neck.
Nardwuar, CiTR Radio. Mr. Chretien, regarding Suharto, there's
a song out there right now by a punk band called The Nomads
called "The Suharto Stomp." Earlier today, as well, at UBC,
there were an incredible amount of protesters. Do you think,
Mr. Chretien, if you were, say, forty years younger, that you
too would be writing punk songs and protesting against APEC?
Chretien: But for me in a democracy, people protest. I, I have been
protested a few times in my lifetime, and with a lot of people
at times. That'sz democracy.l did that myself too when I was a
student, and, uh, now I'm no more a student.but I accept the fact
that people will protest and we had organized an area where they
could express their views, and, uh, but at the same time we had to
run the meeting properly.
Do you think though that Mace equals freedom? Some of the
protesters were Maced.
What did he say?
Some of the protesters were Maced. Does Mace equal Freedom?
Would you have been Maced yourself back then, Prime Minister
Chretien?
But I don't know what you mean by that.
Um, Mace, pepper spray-
But 1 don't know. This technique did not exist in those days. For
me, pepper—I put it on my plate. Next!
THAT MAGAZINE FROM CiTR 101.9fm
A comprehensive list of the magazines we've been over the
years.
That pathetic shitrag with no significant impact in the local m
scene
That conspiracy magazine
That punk rawk magazine
That "cheetah" free magazine
That sassy magazine
That scene supportin' zine
That tourist annihilator guide
That "still publishing" magazine
That atomic magazine
That old school magazine
That media manipulation magazine
That crazy fat magazine
That sticky magazine
That triple word score magazine
That total goombah magazine
That deep-browned magazine
Another magazine to line the birdcage with
That lo-fi magazine
That manifesto of local self-indulgence
That take-out magazine
That pill-poppin' magazine
That rag
Phat magazine
That text-heavy magazine
That heavy rotation magazine
That high-flyin' magazine
That burnt out magazine
That smart magazine
That slick magazine
That anti-gravity magazine
That cool & breezy air-conditioned magazine
That played out magazine
That magazine that zooms
The zine that tells it to the kids
That etiquette magazine
That butchy rag
That typo magazine
That beat-up magazine
That muckraking magazine
That subversive magazine
That star kickin' magazine
That mutant magazine
That magazine for the sound of house and home
That cigarette-free magazine
That spirit of rebellion magazine
That shoegazing magazine
That custard-filled magazine
That might filled magazine
That 100% evil-free magazine
That old, yeller magazine
That good times magazine
That "alternative or marginal" magazine
That emotional motorcrash
That Type 2 error magazine
That rolled up to the ankles magazine
That H-O-T magazine
That out of hand magazine
That over-budget magazine
That squeaky-clean magazine
A publication
That girly, overcritical magazine
That fluffy-tailed magazine
That bicycling everywhere magazine
That Fugazi tank-top wearing magazine
That nine lives magazine
That heavy metal rag
That ghetto magazine
That scratch-made magazine
That lady magazine
That bicycling magazine
That stinker magazine
That scallen slut magazine
That Toby Van Veen magazine
That giant/ginormous magazine
That post-traumatic stress magazine
That Fuck you! Magazine
That collapsing heap
That sleepy magazine
That dreamy magazine
That imaginary magazine
That butt-rock magazine
That batrachian magazine
That hysterical magazine
That 9th level magazine
MOST PRESCIENT THING WE'VE EVER PRINTED
Do you remember Bruno Gerussi's Medallion? Probably not.
They showed up with their single "Who's Behind The Wheel" and
promptly got ejected from the music party. They did, however,
leave a legacy of crap band names via people who were so
enchanted with the concept of mocking local celebrities they
totally bit the idea. Not to be outdone, we made up a list of our
own in November 1989, usurping and derailing this heinous trend.
Out of about fifty or so, we had a few names in there like "Terry
David Mulligan's Tweezers" and "Joe Shithead's Back rent". We also
included this gem:
"Gord Campbell's Reckless Driving"
Was it just an off-handed joke? An irreverent shot at our then-
mayor that the writers threw in, never knowing how accurate it
might be someday? Or is this evidence of some past indiscretion,
covered up this last decade and a half by a deep-rooted and far-
reaching cabal? Help us get to the bottom of this mystery. If you
have knowledge of Gord Campbell's reckless driving in the '80s,
write to us at <discorder@club.ams.ubc.ca>. We're prepared to
believe you.
PARTING WORDS
Pieces of advice from people you look up to.
"Fuck, swear, rock, and stay in school." —Peaches
"I shit on your grave!!" —Dean Ween, Ween
"Be a teenage bonehead for life!" —Kim, Junior Varsity
"Do what you want and try to be happy or I'll kill you." —Kepi,
Groovie Ghoulies
"Keep on fighting. No. Give up, but don't give in." —David Hammer,
Shizuo
"1 don't know if this is advice or not, but they oughtta learn to be
a little nicer, because, for example, at the show there was this girl
wearing that hat—she was wearing a bear hat, and I like her and
she's nice, but the thing was that Dead Moon was there, and they're
legends! They are above and beyond anyone else in this town, in
this state, in the country—I mean, they're legends. And they look
a little crazy. If you didn't know who they were, you'd be like, 'Oh
my God,' and they came up and they were going, 'Nice hat,' and she
didn't [figure out] who it was, so she was kind of mean—not mean,
but really indifferent, like, 'Don't talk to me,' and backing off, and
I was just like, 'If you only knew,' because she'd probably talk to
him if she knew. It doesn't matter who people are, sometimes you
don't always know. I guess that was pointless, [laughs] If they look
weird they could be famous, so therefore you should only talk to
famous people so it could be profitable to be nice back. So my
advice sucks, but that's what it is. You figure it out. —Sue P. Fox •
25 DiSCORDER f      AN THanK YWi...
THailK YVN WW IHVCM...
s« i Fioi/M next
wexi mjy j time
"campeR van BeeTHtven"
ELVIS NOT DEAD: ME HIM
ATTENTION-GRABBING STRATEGIES FOR SUCCESS
IN THE CUT-THROAT WORLD OF COLLEGE RADIO
Interview By David M., Illustration by KLong
PP
Hi, I'm David M. My musical group No Fun is one of the most
highly-regarded musical groups on Southwest British Columbian
College Radio today. We've also received national acclaim for our
incredible cassette albums and wild 'n' wacky live performance.
We've even been dubbed "The Beatles of Surrey" and God knows
that's the truth.
But I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Aw, shit! I
wanted to be the toast of College Radio! My group, (Your Group's
Name Here), is probably just as worthy of being highly-regarded
on College Radio as those bozos! In fact, I bet they really suck!"
Well, fuck you. We don't. And you're going to feel even worse
after I generously offer you and your group (Your Group's Name
Here) some extremely valuable tips on how to make it big in
College Radio. Like No Fun already has. Asshole.
But first, let's take a quick look at how the mainstream music
business works (as we College Radio mainstays often do, no
matter how much we hate to admit it).
HOW THE MUSIC BUSINESS WORKS
The music business is a pyramid scheme in which the
suckers, I mean artists, enter at the bottom of the pyramid by
spending money on musical instruments, studio time, videos to
promote themselves, home recording equipment, stage outfits,
hair extensions, records to learn licks from, rock magazines
and books, liquor and drugs, and so on, ad infinitum. The huge
amount of money thus generated works its way up the pyramid
in stages, from, say, you, up to, say, 54-40, and from 54-40 up to
The Church, and from The Church up to REM, and from REM up to
U2, and from U2 up to... well, ultimately all music business money
ends up in the deep pockets of five or six anonymous, ugly, old,
cigar-smoking guys in boxer shorts sitting around all day in their
penthouse offices getting transfusions of infant blood to keep
from crumbling into dust.
I don't think that any of this will come as any big shock to those
involved with College Radio, though. I mean, that kind of bullshit is
why we all opted out of that nowhere scene, right? Sure it is.
GREAT NAME (a great name for this section, as we shall see)
Now, you're going to need a great name for your band (or
for you, if you are a solo artist). To be great, a name should be
memorably ironic, because Irony fuels College Radio (along with
Beer and Sexual Frustration but—let's face it—you can't get
people drunk and then fuck them with your name no matter how
great it is).
Your name should also be funny—or, more precisely, goofy. 1
could go on and on listing examples: They Might be Giants, The
Dead Milkmen, Butthole Surfers, Deja Voodoo, HeadofDavid
(yikes!), 64 Funnycars, and, my screamingly-funny personal
favourite, Tracy Chapman. I repeat, your name must be great. I
26 February 2002
think that if local heavy-metal spoofsters Ogre were renamed Ed
Zeppelin, they'd rule College Radio.
But having a great name for your group is only the beginning.
You must also have lots of great names for your songs, and,
someday, your albums will need great names. For example, I wrote
a song called "Great Name" which will be the opening track on No
Fun's next album project, "Great Name." Pretty memorably ironic,
eh?
And the beauty of it all is that if your name is great, your
album's name is great, and your songs' names are great, you won't
have to bother writing or playing actual music!
WELL, GEE, ISN'T MUSIC IMPORTANT TO COLLEGE RADIO?
"Music"? Are you kidding? Beethoven is "music." Look, you're
reading this article, so you're probably the genius of your band,
right? Just hire some "musicians" and let them worry about the
Yeah, I know, "musicians" are all worthless, boring, stupid,
dime-a-dozen, smelly jazz-fusion snobs who'll hate your guts
because they have no vision, but they can give your group that
ultra-thin veneer of professionalism College Radio demands. Be
careful, though. Hardly practise it at all. It'll preserve that loose
Garage Band sound College Radio loves.
And, in time, when your "musicians" start demanding that your
group "change musical direction" (usually towards jazz-fusion),
simply fire them. Kill them if you can get away with it—College
Radio goes mental if dead guys used to be in your band.
EXHUMING ELVIS
Let's take Elvis Presley, for example. The guy was an
inhumanly-gifted piece of white trash (with a great name, by the
way). The utterly evil music business played off his weaknesses
to milk his gift, squashing what was left of him on their way to
the bank. The multiple ambiguities of Elvis' life and death have
an intellectual fascination for those of us who aren't inhumanly-
gifted pieces of white trash.
This explains why a key to success in College Radio is how
creatively an artist can ridicule Elvis. When Mojo Nixon howls
"Elvis is Everywhere," or Chris Houston does his "Church of the
Fallen Elvis" routine, or The Cramps title an album "A Date With
Elvis," or Vancouver's own A Merry Cow sing "Who is this Elvis
Guy, Anyway?", they're making a Statement, and the Statement is
"Hey, the music business can't co-opt and kill us like they did t;hat
poor ignorant cracker son-of-a-bitch Elvis Presley!"
Well, that just goes to show how worthless book-learnin' is.
Little do they realize that the music business had nothing to do
with the death of Elvis. Why, I'm not even dead!
That's right! 1, Elvis Presley, faked my own death in 1977, and
I've been living as David M. of No Fun ever since. Didn't you notice
that No Fun appeared right at the same time I disappeared? Well,
congratulations to any No Fun or Elvis Presley fans clever enough
to guess the truth by stringing the clues together: my on-stage
charisma, my long, jet-black hair and sideburns, my devastating
sex appeal, my fluctuating weight, my incredible singing voice, my
inaudible acoustic guitar, Priscilla having my '73 Torino seized for
back alimony—why, hell, I even use my normal speaking voice at
least once on every No Fun tape!
. Anyhow, all you College kids just go ahead and keep poking fun
attheol' Kang.
I can take it, you little no-talent pricks. And while you're at
it, poke fun at everything else, too. The pay is sure as fuck the
same—lousy!
Hey, Charlie! Where the hell's my plate of cheeseburgers? God
damn it, do I have to do ever'thang mahself?.
ELVIS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING...
... probably to confound the media by criss-crossing America
yet again, romancing more of his middle-aged female fans. Here
are a few additional College Radio success tips, in case he never
comes back.
- Rip off Led Zeppelin whenever and wherever possible, but do
disguise it a little. College Radio likes a Camper Van Beethoven, but
nobody likes a Kingdom Come.
- There's an important lesson to be learned from the urban
noise/dance music of Tackhead. If you don't have a James Brown-
style system of fines for your "musicians," they'll think they can
get away with anything.
- Here's an idea that seems so obvious it's hard to believe that
no one in College Radio has tried it yet. Develop a reputation for
being morbid and obsessed with dying, fake your own death and
lay low for a year or so, then "return from the grave." Although
this scheme requires patience—a quality always in short supply in
the fast-paced, gimmick-laden world of College Radio—it would
therefore have the element of surprise going for it. And it's only
been done before by Elvis Presley, James Dean, and Jim Morrison,
so you'd be in terrific company!
- Finally, remember that most people involved with College
Radio are students, so treat them like a teacher would. Be strict
with them right off the bat, or they'll never respect you. Punish
them severely when they misbehave. And if they don't do enough
for you, fail them.
That's all for now. Work hard and follow my advice, and maybe
I'll be seeing you at the top of the College charts (hopefully just
below No Fun). Good Luck! •
(First published October, 1988.) citr reunion
MMmr%M*Y      «b5^ It II m» l» Aill   Ma^ %Jr %JFfk*m
what have you been up to?
Celebrating the last 25 years of
Independent Campus/Community Radio at ubc
We are looking for members of CiTR Radio from 1978-2003 to help celebrate the past 25 years of radio. If you were a programmer, a
member of the executive, helped out with DiSCORDER Magazine or just hung out at the station between classes, you are invited lo attend
May 9th - CiTR open house 1pm - 4pm
May 9th - Meet & Greet at Railway Club 6pm - 9pm
May 10th - Reunion Bash at the Waldorf w7 MC Dave Campbell
www,citreunion.ca
Listen to CiTR 101.9 fm for special programming throughout the May 9th-11th 2003 weekend
Go to www.citreunion.ca to join the mailing list and receive updates or contact Linda Scholten at 604-822-1242 or citrmgr@ams.ubc.ca for more information.
27 DiSCORDER BLIMttnffiUGHXn
iiMdcr review
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recorded media
David     Abir/Ashley    Wales
Movement A, Study 33/
Landscape (#217 May 2001)
More so-so po-mo heave-ho
from the worldwide Vaguely
Experimental Music underground. Sam Macklin
Agnostic Front Riot, Riot
Upstart (#201 Nov 99) This
should have been called "...
and Out Come the Posers."
gibby peach
Beck Sea Change (#235 Nov
02) Please stop saying this
album is a masterpiece. Julie
Bedhead beheaded (#164 Sep
96) I wish the lyricist would
invest in a thesaurus, because
the word 'empty' appears
an average of 5.63 times per
song, frank?
Adrian Belew Inner Revolution
(#114 Jul 92) Mr. Belew suffers
from the dreaded Mature
Artist Syndrome: songs dealing with Big Issues, supplemented with "tasty licks,"
unadventurous arrangements,
and an unhealthy Beatles-by-
way-of-XTX influence. Shawn
Conner
Bluetip Join Us (#195 May 99)
This record is even worse than
their first one. Chris Corday
Cathedral The Ethereal Mirror
(#129 Oct 93) A little meaner
than Ozzy or Megadeth and
now available at your favourite used record bin. Bepi
The Cult Electric (#55 Jul 87)
The Cult are to Led Zeppelin
what Glass Tiger are to U2,
what The Alarm are to The
Clash, what Skinny Puppy are
to Einsturzende Neubauten,
Don Hill to Bob Dylan, Bryan
Adams to Bruce Springsteen,
Ronald Reagan to John Wayne,
Gary Hart to John F. Kennedy,
Jim Jones to Jesus Christ. Bill
28 February 2002
The Cure Disintegration (#80
Sep 89) The Cure could still be
a really great band if only they
could control the tendency
to lapse into those fucking
Safeway-music keyboard riffs.
Viola Funk
Dayglo Abortions s/t (#44 Sep
86) Paint the cover black, or
burn it. Don't let your mother
or sister or girlfriend hear
the songs or read the lyrics.
Stuart Whitling
Dayglo Abortions Here To-
Day, Guano Tomorrow (#69
Oct 88) So yeah, let's sing
about subjecting hamsters to
a myriad of atrocities; it's sure
to freak out all those seven-
year old girls who venture
into their local record store
and alight upon this album.
Viola Funk
Dead Milkmen Beelzebubba
(#73 Feb 89) It isn't even a
minor bit of fun. Ignore it. (1
hope this band doesn't have a
cult following or something...)
to it and I'll say, "Hear that?
That part? That sounds like
poo." Christa Min
Mark Eitzel West (#174 Jul 97)
I found myself not being able
to care less. Joe Bloggs
J.W.
Delgados The Great Eastern
(#210 Sep 00) This album
merely pays lip service to
the idea of imagination. Sam
Macklin
Depeche Mode Music For the
Masses (#61 Feb 88) There are
artistic as well as economic
and social reasons for examining the pros and cons of
taking an early retirement. In
this case, any reason will do.
Surely machines can be pensioned off more easily than
people. Larry Thiessen
Dinosaur Jr. Where You Been?
(#122 Mar 93) Dinosaur Jr.,
after a decade of somewhat
benchmark releases, has NO
excuse for putting out naive,
self-indulgent, guitar rockstar bullshit like this. Paul t.
Brooks
Doughboys Crush (#128 Sep
93) Stealing melodies from
songs heard on mid-'80s LG73
isn't usually a good way to
begin an album. Brian Wieser
Drugstore s/t (#150 Jul 95)
This band can almost rock.
Julie
Duotang The Bright Side (#220
Jul 01) Retro can never really
be all that good 'cause it's all
been done before. Lil Richard
Dzihan & Kamien Gran Rise'wa
(#235 Nov 02) Avoid this like
you'd avoid an uncooked seaweed stir-fry that you found
in a pail in the cafeteria.
Donovan
Mark Eitzel The Invisible Man
(#220 Jul 01) I can barely listen to this record. There are so
many shitty sounds... I don't
know how to describe them to
you. You'll have to come over.
I'll play it for you, we'll listen
i The Slim Shady (#195
May 99) I am not squeamish—! go around calling
myself Hancunt, for fuck's
sake—but I want to defecate
down Eminem's throat after
listening to his awful debut
album. Hancunt
Eurythmics Sweet Dreams Are
Made of This (#2 Mar 83) It
reminds me of Yaz meets Pat
Benatar. Dean Pelkey
Diamanda Galas You Must
Be Certain of the Devil (#68
Sep 88) Artists with massive
amounts of intelligence, discipline, and creativity tend
to sound schlocky when they
don't use them. Some people
will find this album embarrassing. Ms. Galas should.
Larry Thiessen
Great Lakes s/t (#207 Jun
00) Every time my roommate
plops on the CD and those Air
Supply sounds skip down the
hallway to my room, I can't
help but get palm sweats and
have flashbacks of polyester t-
shirts and brown everywhere,
brown and orange everywhere. Not good. Anthony
Monday
Hacksaw s/t (#210 Sep 00) I've
listened to this album to the
point that it has just become
painful. It just won't grow on
me. jay douillard
Mark Harrington Trash Icon
(#206 May 00) Harrington's
musical rantings are much
like that of a 15-year old boy
putting out his first zine. tesla
van halen
Mickey Hart Mickey Hart's
Mystery Box (#162 Jul 96) Rob
Hunter's lyrics are so banal
that even the Dead wouldn't
use them. Barbara Andersen
Kristen Hersh Hips and
Makers (#136 May 94) The
album certainly has a stark
beauty about it, but so does
Kamloops and you wouldn't
want to spend too long there.
Simon Hemelryk
Hey Mercedes Everynight
Fire Works (#225 Dec 01) This
album takes all the O out of used to enjoy beating up in
EMO and adds a lot of R which the high-school playground,
gets us REM. jay douillard Simon Hemelryk
Hollow Men Cresta (#99 Apr
91) Unobtrusive filler music
for that evening at home
with your parents. Antje
Rauwerda
HoIIowphonic S/t (#204 Mar
00) This is music you take
for insomnia on the plane.
Chris A23
Inspiral Carpets Devil Hopping
(#136 May 94) It's best not to
encourage these boys: there
are already too many bands
making careers out of dated
mediocrity. Les Vegas
Michael Jackson Bad (#58
Nov 87) Bad, not BAD. Iain
Bowman
Colin James s/t (#69 Oct 88)
Insipidly obnoxious pop-boogie fluff. Keith Parry
Jesus     and     Mary     Chain
Rollercoaster (#94 Nov 90)
Caution: CBC friendly. Uliana
Jesus Jones Already (#178 Nov
97) A few tunes into the new
Jesus Jones album, Already, I
realized it was none too thrilling. By the time it ended, I
absolutely despised it. Fred
Steve Jones Fire and Gasoline
(#80 Sep 89) In the albeit chequered past, Steve at least had
a half-decent singer, a vicious
rhythm section, and bad
songs. Solo, he's left with only
the bad songs. Jeff Molsen
Judybats Native Son (#98 Mar
91) The Judybats have something to say, but does anyone want to hear it? Mindy
Julie Ruin s/t (#191 Dec 98)
Why not just a 7" record? It
would have made a good 7".
JBS
July Love Apocalypse (#148
May 95) Forty-five minutes of
a guy with a bad voice moaning on top of ambient guitar
and drum machine. Peter
Stevens
Killing Joke Outside the
Gate (#68 Sep 88) Killing.
Joke's new album has more
in common with a bottle of
anti-freeze than a bottle of
Chablis; not only does Outside
the Gate leave a bitter taste
in the mouth, but partaking
of a quantity greater than a
mouthful makes you want to
throw up. Chris Buchanan
Kingmaker Sleepwalking (#132
Jan 94) He sounds like the sort
of whiny dick that everyone
I Rhythm and Strength
(#201 Nov 99) The new album
is so much like the last one 1
actually had to eject it just to
check I had not accidentally
placed the wrong CD into my
rickety CD player. Anthony
Monday
Le Tigre s/t (#201 Nov 99) I
don't think this is meant to be
funny. Julie C.
Legendary   Pink   Dots   Any
Day Now (#63 Apr 88) Like a
shitty Alan Parson's Project.
JB Hohm
Looper The Geometrid (#206
Sep 00) Why this poor smart
boy left Belle and Sebastian to
do his own thing is a mystery
to me, but let's all make him
regret it! Let's all be Looper
party poopers! Jackie
Lovegutter Sucking in the 90's
(#130 Nov 93) The CD says
"keep out of the reach of 'pretentious politically correct'
bozos." Well, it should say,
"We are a bunch of pretentious bozos and this CD should
be kept out of your reach."
Mooligan
Lydia Lunch In Limbo (#22
Nov 84) The record is neither
fish nor foul, but merely flatulent piffle. Rob Si
Mighty Mighty Bosst ones Let's
Face It (#172 May 97) It sounds
like they recorded it on cough
syrup. Mr. Chris
Ministry Filthpig (#159 Apr
96) Ministry are a metal band
for the '90s—-but that band
could just be Spinal Tap. Tara
Nelson
Mortification Scrolls of the
Megilloth (#124 May 93) Do
you really sit down and write
this stuff or is it "inspired"?
The Reverend Norman
Nine Inch Nails Pretty Hate
Machine (#87 Apr 90) A
decent album only if you're
making the transition from
Paula Abdul to Ministry. Lloyd
One Last Wish 1986 (#202
Dec 99) It would disappoint
me to think that Dischord
only put out this record to
make money, so I tried hard
to believe that it was good.
Christa Min
Panoply Academy Corps of
Engineers Concentus (#206
Sep 00) I suspect a crack pipe
was involved in the making of
this album. Christa Min Pantera Cowboys From Hell
(#93 Oct 90) Metallica clones
with really long hair and really
boss tattoos. That's about it.
No, seriously, that's all. Just
guys with long hair and guitar
solos, and they thank their
instruments. Next, please.
Gav
Piss Factory s/t (#131 Dec 93)
The monotony is sometimes
interrupted by silly noises
which sound a lot better than
the music. Vince Yeh
Andy Prieboy ...Upon My
Wicked Son (#90 Jul 90) You
know that an album is bad
when the best song on it is a
poorly done cover of Canned
Heat's "On The Road Again."
Peter Lutwyche
Redd Kross Third Eye (#94 Nov
90) Even songs with promising
titles like "Elephant Flares"
and "Shonen Knife" end up
sounding like Bad Company
covers done by the band that
plays at Greg Brady's prom.
Gav
Rikk Agnew's Yardsale Emotional Vomit (#97 Feb 91) This
record should've been titled
"Rikk Agnew's Vomit". Tom
Milne
Riverdales s/t (#153 Oct 95)
Mediocre pop music with less
bar chords than the Ramones.
Brad Prevelte
Rosetta Stone The Tyranny of
Inaction, Revised Edition VIA
(#151 Aug 95) Get someone
else to buy it, then tape it.
Then tape over your copy with
something better, like those
video game soundtracks
Alien Sex Fiend are doing now
(which suck, but not quite so
bad as this). Mark Baker
Rubaja      and      Hernandez
High Plateaux (#68 Sep 88)
Everything that is wrong with
western society is condensed
into this album. I'm serious.
This is the worst record in the
history of the record industry.
Matt Richards
Samples Autopilot (#145 Feb
95) A major Rocky Mountain
low, coming soon to an elevator near you. Craig O'Neill
Scapegoat Wax Okeeblow
(#221 Aug 01) Um... No, no
thank you. Really I'm okay.
Thanks, but no thank you.
Really I'm not interested. No
thanks, it's not my sort of
thing. Really no thank you.
No, not interested. No I think
you might be wasting your
time, really no thanks. No
more really, just stop. Really,
please... just fuck off! Heather
Termite
Schroeder's Cat (We Don't
Know How To) Say It (#188 Sep
98) Having my teeth scraped
and polished at the dentist is
less boring. BK
Screeching Weasel Bark Like
A Dog (#169 Feb 97) That's it.
I've had enough of your shit,
Ben Weasel. DaveTolnai
Bettie Serveert Dust Bunnies
(#174 Jul 97) If you want to
hear this for yourself, don't
buy it, just find me and I'll give
you my copy, frank?
Simple Minds Sparkle In The
Rain (#14 Mar 84) Listening to
this album is a little like eating
Cream of Wheat the day after
you've had four impacted wisdom teeth pulled: you may not
actually enjoy it for its own
sake, but it slips down the
throat without having to be
chewed. Robin Razzel
Siouxsie and the Banshees
Hyena (#19 Aug 84) Nothing
disappoints me more than
seeing (hearing) a band that
consistently brought out good
material early on in their lives
disappearing up their own anal
sphincters. Richard Putler
Siouxsie and the Banshees
Suspicion (#104 Aug 91)
Suspicion smells, feels, tastes,
and sounds suspiciously like
a contractual obligation fulfilled. Peter Sickert
Skinny Puppy The Process
(#159 Apr 96) Listen closely...
that's the sound of a great
band dying. Gustav
Pumpkins Adore
(#187 Aug 98) I used to lie
awake at night wondering
what the next Smashing
Pumpkins album would sound
like. Now 1 know... it sounds
like frickin' Depeche Mode.
Fred derF
Patti Smith Dream of Life
(#68 Sep 88) Nothing will ever
equal Horses. Certainly not
this pablum meant for yuppies to play on their BMW CD
decks. Rockin' Patrick
The Smiths s/t (#16 May 84)
Morrissey (no first name—
very cute), the vocalist, warbles along like Julie Andrews
with a sock in her mouth and
almost snags you into singing along to some of the most
hilariously stupid lyrics this
side of the new Venom album.
John Smith
Spit Persecution of Genius
(#103 Aug 91) I believe this is
evidence of taking a psychotic, neurotic, myopic, obese,
distorted, coarse, crass, brutish, insensitive, vulgar, crude
madman,   who   is   musically
capable, but just barely, and
asking him to then write, produce, perform, and arrange an
album. Alobar
Style Council Confessions of
a Pop Group (#71 Dec 88) The
best way to approach this
album is to study the cover,
the liner note design, and the
overall layout. Then put it
back in the sleeve and file it.
Stuart Derdryn
Sweaty Nipples Bug Harvest
(#146 Mar 95) Hopefully I
won't hear any more crap
like this any time in the near
future. Peter Stevens
These Animal Men (Come On,
Join) The High Society (#154
Nov 95) The Clash were angry
too... but at least they had talent. P. Hofmann
Tiga and Zyntherius Sunglasses At Night (#236 Dec
02) Pretentious, vapid, and
boring without even the livening touches of sleaze or sass,
trash like this deserves to
be on Electric Circus at best.
saelan
Timber Kings She Changed
Her Name to Mashuma (#171
Apr 97) When these boys
start rocking, they rock hard.
Unfortunately, when they stop
rocking they sound like the
Barenaked Ladies. Mr. Chris
Tinker   Receiver   (#161   Jun
96) "Occasional psychedic
headbanger seeks metal-rock
acoustic fan with aspirations
to Tea Party-ness and major
Led Zep hangups." Sophie
Hamley
Tragic    Mulatto    Hot    Man
Pussy (#79 Aug 89) The vocals
remind me of Nina Hagen at
age three. Annette
Trans Am Futureworld (#194
Apr 99) If this is the future,
then I don't want any part of
it. Julie C.
Turkish Delight Tommy Bell
(#170 Mar 97) I'm not a big fan
of "art-core" as a musical styling anyway, so to hear it done
half-assed is like fingernails
rubbing a cat backwards on a
chalkboard. Mr. Chris
24-7 Spyz Harder Than You
(#79 Aug 89) Far from being
a mediocre disc, this one is,
quite simply, TOTAL CRAP.
Patrick Sampler
V/A Glitters Is Gold (#178 Nov
97) Taylor, who is seven years
old, came and asked me what
music it was... He came back a
little later and asked if ambient music was supposed to be
boring. Mark Szabeno
-2- under review feb 1/30/03.06:00:46
V/A Nowhere Sndtk. (#173 Jun
97) This album would give
movie soundtracks a bad
name, except for the fact
that they already have one.
Christian
Voivod The Outer Limits (#129
Oct 93) Overproduced. I don't
give a fuck if they're Cancon.
Ty Walsh Pollensongs (#228
Apr 02) Hey, guess what? NEIL
YOUNG IS STILL ALIVE. Neil
Young is still GREAT. There's
no need for a tribute band at
this time. Christa Min
We've Got a Fuzzbox and
We're Going to Use It International Rescue (#80 Sep
89) Buy a Bobby Brown record
instead. J.W.
Wild Swans Space Flower (#94
Nov 90) Songs for Muzak covers are still being made. Angie
Finley
Wendy O. Williams Kom-
mander of Kaos (# 41 Jun 86)
The only use for this album,
aside from playing it loudly
when your landlord comes to
collect the rent, would be as a
warning for young ladies who
insist on bullying the boys.
"See what happens to girls
who don't behave, dear?" PC
Yello One Second (#58 Nov
87) Personally, I can't think of
too many things more boring
than listening to the refrigerated rhythms of Yello on One
Second. This is very boring
electronic music. Boring boring boring... It's just plain boring. Mark Quail
Warren Zevon Transverse City
(#85 Feb 90) Zevon is now
sober and, unfortunately, his
music has lost much of its
vitality. Gene DerrethDavid
Abir/Ashley Wales Movement
A, Study 33/Landscape (#217
May 2001) More so-so po-mo
heave-ho from the worldwide
Vaguely Experimental Music
underground. Sam Macklin
NEW ALBUMS TO BELITTLE
Boards of Canada
Twoism (CD rerelease)
(Warp)
This album, originally released
in 1995 in a 100-copy limited edition vinyl on Boards
of Canada's own label, is now
being rereleased through Warp
on CD. As Luke Meat rightly
pointed out to me, Twoism is
markedly pre-Music Has the
Right to Children—BoC's first
Warp release and a classic
in the ethereal trip hop/IDM
genre—showing clearly the
foundations of their more
recent work, but lacking the
rhythmical complications
of the hip hop substrate
that would make their later
releases so satisfying. Some
of the tracks on Twoism are
compromised because of this:
the beat structures approximate too closely modern hip
hop conventions—oversimplifying the songs to an intrusive extent. On most others,
however, the crisp, casual
poise of hip hop rhythms—or,
in some cases, more intricate
beats—merge sublimely with
BoC's trademark, unparalleled, threshold-of-sentience
melodies.
Donovan
Brainstorm
(Sound Gizmo/Subtype)
So I'm listening to this album
and my roommate is in the
room with me, and she's just
giving me these awful looks.
"What on earth is this?" she
pleads, her frustration with
my preposterous musical
tastes reaching a crescendo:
"It's like '80's music but it's not
actually '80's, so it's not cool."
"Baby," 1 say, rising to the
challenge: "That's just not the
point. It's like 'Pierre Menard,
Author of the Quixote'—or like
Andy Warhol silk-screening
Marylin Monroe: the trick is
that he's doing it again." And,
with that ad hoc defence, I
successfully justify the entire
"electroclash" sound, which
John B has effortlessly appropriated and fused with his own
visionary D&B style on this
mix. Calling it a "mix" in the
sense that Dara and Moving
Shadow records do mixes is
only partially appropriate: 11
out of the 14 tracks are by
John B himself, and he seems
to have had a hand in the production of at least one of the
others. Here, this solipsism is
more than forgiveable. John
B's calculated freakishness
and trickster figure elan—
along with his aforementioned
visionary musical sensibilities
(generally described as a deft
synthesis of the epic emotional span of trance and the
sexuality of house with the
raw, mystical sophistication of
Drum & Bass)-define him as a
foundation of the global D&B
community. With this album,
he's taken the robosexuality
of electroclash and Kraftwerk
and thrown it in the pot, too:
the result is a record that's
funny, ridiculously danceable,
wink-y smart, and not infrequently awe-inspiring. My
only reservation is the funny:
the porno outrageousness
of "American Girls" and the
accurate-but glib-R&B satire
of "Electrofreek" ("Hittin' the
stores/let's go shopping/going
out tonight/gotta be bling
bl: ic"x =ii- really only worth a
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tnw laugh on the first two or three
listens (if that)—then you wish
Juan would get back to making
songs instead of telling jokes.
Donovan
BJORK
Family Tree
(Elektra)
The name of this collection
is all too suitable, as we have
considered Bjork a member of
our family since the mid 90's.
Mother, daughter, sister and
lover, her revolutionary brand
of electronic music is uncannily in sync with our deepest
fears, questions and desires.
Judging by both her critical
success and committed following, it strikes many others
just as strongly.
However, we must
admit that our first reaction
towards this anthology was
not positive. Over the years,
the Icelandic diva has slowly
released new material, in the
meantime deluging her fan
base with double single after
double single, containing some
excellent B-sides, but many
more commissioned remixes
that rarely approached the
quality of her own work. These
ventures were always coupled
with exquisite packaging and
artwork that left us feeling
manipulated, but at the same
time wanting more.
Such was the case with this
boxed set: at a hefty $70, only
Santa Claus could make this
wish come true. On Christmas
morning we eyed the pretty
pink plastic with restrained
desire, being the owners of
one too many maxi singles...
But yes! Christmas miracles do
happen after all!
The five miniature CDs
contained therein chronicle
work that even we, obsessive-
compulsive long-term fans,
had never heard. Of particular
note are "Glora," a layered
flute piece composed and
performed by Bjork in 1980,
and "Ammaeli," the original
Icelandic version of the 1987
Sugarcubes hit, "Birthday." CD
2 contains demo versions of
"Immature" and "Cover Me,"
with all instruments played
by the goddess herself. Discs
4 and 5 document her longstanding (but never before
released) collaboration with
the Brodsky Quartet. These
outstanding tracks illustrate
the sublime coupling that
defines Bjork's music: tribal
/ punk rock sensibility fused
with the very best of classicism. The collection culminates
in a full-length, Bjork-selected
"Greatest Hits" disc, far superior to the recent fan-selected
release.
Yes, life is full of little miracles. And this, our friends, is
a doozie! Turn a trick, sell your
dog or shoplift. For ar/y dedicated fan, this both aurally and
aesthetically satisfying compilation is a must-have.
Susy and Sasha Webb
BANGS
Call and Response
(Kill Rock Stars)
You know it's not 1995 anymore. I know it's not 1995
anymore. But occasionally
something sends me back to
those heady days: 15 years
old, stranded in suburbia,
worshipping any band that
included both girls and guitars, and wearing really bad
thrift-store clothes (not that
wearing thrift-store clothing is
bad. However, like any clothes,
a modicum of taste is required
in their selection).
The Bangs' new EP arouses
nostalgia for those bygone
days. Call and Response draws
extensively upon the Riot
Grrl tradition, and continues
in much the same punk-
pop vein as their previous
releases. Lyrics touch upon
standard topics (consumerism, feminism, dysfunctional
relationships, etc.) with neither notable originality nor
objectionable ineffectiveness.
This release is neither groundbreaking nor terrible. Unless
maybe you're still 15. (In which
case you will love it.)
Susy Webb
THE TEMPS
Soon We'll Be Gone
(Wild Wart haug)
I picked this CD out of
DiSCORDER's albums-to-
review bin solely because of
the band's name. The Strokes,
The Hives, The Datsuns, The
White Stripes; why not The
Temps? After listening to Soon
We'll Be Gone, I feel qualified
to make three statements: 1)
I am gullible. Real gullible. 2)
Albums featuring flaccid rock
hooks, vocalists with no charisma (or singing ability) and
production akin to a second-
tier hair band circa 1989 are
still being made. 3) I plan on
changing my name to "The
Neils" in order to attract completely undeserved attention
to myself.
Neil Braun •
[You know, I may have a column
that says that Music Sucks, but
I wasn't the first one. —ed.]
Make A Scene! In a No Rules World
nmiu
newmusicwest
Festival & Conference
May 21 - 25 Vancouver
Last Year at
NewMusicWest:
25 LABELS....
35 A&R REPS....
4 BANDS SIGNED....
\w
Register Your Band for
NMW03 Now!
it
lo
E
This year all artists will receive
confidential feedback by 2 music
industry professionals on their
submission! The top 200 artists
will be chosen to perform
during NewMusicWest
May 21 - 25. All showcase artists
are eligible for prizes from the
NMW03 Artists Assistance Fund,
including the Galaxie Rising Star
Award and may appear on the
NMW03 compilation CD!
IT
Registration deadline is
February 28th, 2003.
i£
It
Get your band
submission form at:
Suite #300 -1062 Homer Street
Tel: 604.684.9338
Or register online:
www.newmusicwest.com
For information email:
info@newmusicwest.com
n
■yJS     Emfom
ygil     ^^M
30 February 2002 real live actloft
live music reviewr
BARDO POND
Starfish Room
November 29 ,1996
Bardo Pond (some kind of reference to Tibetan Buddhism, I
think)   came  in   support  of
their   most   recent   effort,
Amantia  (which  apparently
is a reference to some rare
'shroom or something, dude).
MY     BLOODY     VALENTINE
BUFFALO TOM
YOLA TENGO
Moore Theatre, Seattle
July 4,1991
My Bloody Valentine came
on stage, after a long pause,
in a barrage of painful lights
which ended up dominating the band's set. In fact,
painful is the key word here:
the lights were blinding, the
strobes nauseating and the
guitars brutally attacked
my eardrums and senses
that were still intact! I did
recognize a few songs off
of Love/ess and I was even
relieved for a brief moment
when 1 thought, finally I am
going to enjoy this show. But
when Billinda Butcher began
singing, I, and 1/3 of the audience, couldn't hear the vocals
at all and figured that the
pain in our heads was pointless and left the theatre.
Patty-Lynne Herlevi
THE BUTTHOLE SURFERS,
86 Street Music Hall, Friday,
May 10,1991
My only negative criticism of
the show involves technology:
twice, a whole wall of speakers cut out, reducing the
sound to a monotone meow
that just didn't say butthole.
Caroline Longford
THE BREEDERS
Seattle
November 2,1992
Oh, by the way, when crossing the border DO NOT say
you are going to rock concert,
you'll only be asking for customs officials to search your
orifices. Instead, tell them
you are going to Seattle to see
your favourite country and
western act perform, i.e., The
Saddlesores at the Longhorn.
Crispy
COP SHOOT COP
Cruel Elephant
March 3,1991
One of New York's latest
belches,    Cop   Shoot   Cop,
played typically raunchy and
aggressive, repeatedly asking to have the guitars turned
up. Two brave thrashers had
their ear-protecting toilet
paper removed by force with
the words, "If we're going to
go deaf playing this shit, then
you are too." I particularly
liked the sheet metal cage
behind, on which the drummer pounded mercilessly.
Angie Finley
CURE
CRANES
Seattle    Centre    Coliseum,
june 30,1989
Robert Smith, who abhors
adulthood, resembled an
oversized three year old
as he bounced around like
Peter Pan singing/howling
the fun stuff. That however,
ended soon because Robert
swings through moods rather
quickly
Patty-Lynne Herlevi
DEAD SURF KISS
Commodore
December 7,1989
Dead Surf Kiss sucked on the
proverbial root. I find it hard
to believe that this clan of
semi-talented poseurs got
picked up by the American
BMG label. If anything is
going to bring this label to it's
corporate knees it'll be DSK
digging their financial grave.
Take it south boys, I hear
they're making a sequel to
Deliverance. C'mon, squeal.
DESTROYER
November 30,1995
"Hey man, get the fuck off
the stage!" That pretty much
sums up the Destroyer expe-
MarkArden
DOA
[no venue given]
October, [no date], 1984,
What made me scratch my
head and wonder what was
wrong with Vancouver's
Hardcore scene, was not
DOA's performance but
the crowd's reflexes. Some
guy stage-dove into what
appeared to be a thick group
of people. In the middle of
his free fall the crowd neatly
parted down the middle and
let this dude sail to the floor.
You could hear the smack of
his head hitting the floor over
the top of the band. The people surrounding him looked at
his twisted figure on the floor,
then back at the Rock Stars.
I think my cat would have
shown more concern.
Julia
DOGSTAR
La Luna, Portland
August 11,1995
Okay. So I admit that the only
reason I went to this show
was to see Keanu Reeves. Can
Keanu Reeves play the bass?
Well, from where I was standing, it was hard to tell, but he
sure looks good holding it.
Krista Peters
THE EVAPORATORS
West Van Rec Centre
October 13,1989
A veritable showman,
Nardwuar wowed his audience with a dance routine
that combined arthritic King
Tut maneuvers with St. Vitus'
Dance.
Andrea Cserenyl
FISHBONE
Commodore,    Tuesday,    27
August, 1991
Malcolm X spoke politics;
Martin Luther King Jr. had a
dream; Fishbone wants to
make love to you. On this
night, Fishbone forgot the
foreplay. But it wasn't just
the old in-out, nor was it
musical masturbation. This
was raw, carnal, heterosexual
skanking.
Scooter
FUGAZI
THE EX
SLEATER-KINNEY
DV8, Seattle
February 28,1999
This was the show of my life.
It was Fugazi. I am ready for
death now.
Christa Min
THE GOSSIP
The Royal
October 5,2002
I thought Beth Ditto was
going to be raunchier, don't
go to concerts with my friend
Greg because his farts stink.
Anchor tattoos rule.
Chris-A-Riffic
GRACIOUS 4
Commodore
August 9,1989
These jokers played a longer
set than I would've thought it
possible to live through. And
plus, if I hear one more cover
of / Fought the Law. I shall
shoot the perpetrators.
Viola Funk
GWAR
Club Soda
August 20/21,1989
Follow the bouncing testicle
as we summarize the violence: two decapitations, the
birth of a monster, a face
(1,1) -1- reallive2 1/30/03.
ripped off, an ejaculation, an
opened human stomach (out
of which was pulled a Extra
Old Stock), multiple killings
and a too-numerous-to-men-
tion amount of severed bodily
protrusion.
Martin Chester
HIGH LLAMAS
APPLES IN STEREO
Starfish Room
March 28,1998
Once headliners High Llamas
took the stage, all dancing
ceased. Most all forms of
movement ceased, for that
matter. I hate to say it, but
this band is definitely not
one to see live. They don't DO
anything!
Julie Colero
LOCAL RABBITS
Richard's on Richards
August 27,1998
The Local Rabbits are  sex
symbols in the making. Ben
Gunning wishes he were
Yngwie Malmsteen. Bass
player King Johnny Star
played his decapitated four-
string like it was an extension
of his penis. At times, 1 felt my
hair wasn't big enough, especially when Neko Case joined
the boys for a number. They
were pretty scared of me
because I couldn't stop baring
my big buck teeth at them the
whole show.
Christa Min
LUBRICATED GOAT
Club Soda
October 29,1989
Australia's Lubricated Goat
opened things up with their
feedback-laden vision of
some twisted sexual apocalypse. Singer Stu Spasm
screamed gutteral perversities over a genuine tribal-discordant- grungefest.
Keith Parry
LUNACHICKS
SWINGIN' UTTERS
THE POLE
Town Pump
November 5,1996
Openers The Pole  made  a
pathetic   attempt   to   play
old-school punk rock. They
were all attitude, no talent.
I would have laughed openly
if I hadn't been fearing for
my life. There were some big
dudes there who seemed to
be enjoying themselves.
Dave Tolnai
MAHLATHINI      AND      THE
MAHOTELLA QUEENS
Commodore
Feburary5,1991
Mahlathini, dressed in animal
skins from head to toe, took
his   usual   "reluctant"   role,
in the playful skits with the
invincible women.
Catherine Dickson
05:26:54
MAOW
Starfish Room
September 27,1996
If you've always wanted to
see The Misfits with a female
singer, or if you enjoy hearing
the same song played 31 different ways, then you'll want
to see Maow sometime soon.
J. Bilan
THE MELVINS
SUPERCONDUCTOR
Town Pump
February 16,1993
So... There we are right? And
she says, "Got a ticket to see
The Melvins tonight. Wanna
Come?" So I says, "Melvins?
Sure, what the fuck." And
I'm thinking, "with a name
like the Melvins they should
be pretty cool, pretty smash,
pretty boom, pretty wicked,
or whatever, right? Nah.
Shitty drum band, boom,
boom, boom, boom, boom,
boom, ba-da boom, boo-ooo-
ooo-ooo-oom.
NASHVILLE PUSSY
Crocodile Cafe
May 16,1998
Nashville Pussy is incredibly
overrated. There, that's
said. They're like the Dennis
Rodman of music. Honestly, if
you want shock value, go see
Marilyn Manson. I almost shit
my pants laughing when the
singer took off his bill cap and
displayed his bald-ass head
to the crowd. The two girls
in the band looked like they
were melting when all their
make-up started running.
Dave Tolnai
NED'S     ATOMIC     DUSTBIN
Commodore
January 22,1992
The show was the most boring concert I've ever been to...
Dull, dull, dull! Stage presence
for the Neddies consisted of
thrashing around while tossing their long hair. Yep, they
were a generic British pop
band with their two bassists
and driving guitar.
June Scudeler
OZZYOSBOURNE
GM Place
June 6,1996
Ozzy looked like a grandad
compared to his three young
and buff studio musicians
alongside him. After hobbling
back and forth on the stage,
waving his arms and shouting
"I can't hear you," and "the
crazier you go, the crazier I
go!" he cooked up a real blizzard with Paranoid.
Longhaul
PIL
BIG AUDIO DYNAMITE
LIVE
BUND MELON
PNE Forum
March 26,1992
Mr. Lydon's mooning of the
audience insured they would
remain silent, not from shock
but from total apathy. Like we
honestly care how grotesquely huge his ass has grown.
Sara Faulkner
PIXIES
PEREUBU
December 16, 1991
Ick. Blech. Yuch. Boo. Hiss.
The Pixies helped save my
life some years and now I
swear they're tryin' ta put me
back in the grave. [...] These
guys aren't speakin' to me
anymore. I'm listening, but I
only hear the sound of a cash
register.
Mrs. Beeman
POISON IDEA
Town Pump
June 27,1989
Poison Idea were chuggin'
away like a Mack Truck. But
then, something inexplicable
happened: Time was taken
out of their set to comment
on a magazine that gave
Poison Idea some unfavourable reviews—"DiSCORDER
hates us." And " to everyone
at DiSCORDER, we'd just like
to say fuck off."
Braden Z
POISON IDEA
THE MELVINS
Town Pump
May 12,1991
After this hypnotic set  [by
The   Melvins]   Poison   Idea
didn't suck, but they were just
going through the motions.
Apparently they had had to
consume industrial quantities of pot before crossing the
border—enough to slow them
down considerably during
their set.
Mindy Abramowitz
PORT NOISE COMPLAINT
Starfish Room
June 19,1996
Port Noise Complaint were
in the unfortunate position of
having to follow The Mystery
Guests, and I must admit I
don't remember their set very
well. The singer was into the
glam-rock thing, with his glittery purple shirt, sunglasses,
and dangling cigarette, and
what I remember most is his
use of a blender and poprock
candy.
Barb
JONATHAN RICHMAN
Starfish Room
April 5,1998
A longtime groupie of sorts
informed us that "Jonothan"
hates performing in bars as
he can't have kids around—
he has two of his own, you
know.
Sydney
31 DiSCORDER JIM ROSE CIRCUS
Town Pump
March 24,1992
As a Grand Finale, Mr. Lifto
lifted another iron with his
shaving cream-coated penis
(his foreskin was pierced).
The disguise might've
had something to do with
avoiding a night in jail for
indecent exposure.
June Scudeler
SCARYOKE
Starfish Room
November 1,1996
Six hours before the show I
was in the bathroom, busily snipping off six-inches
of hair, desperately trying
to recreate Joey Ramones
bangs.
Eight hours after that I
was being whipped on stage
by a vinyl-clad dominatrix,
while crooning "Oh Bondage,
Up Yours." Fate works in
interesting ways.
Mr. Chris
SCREAMING TREES
NIRVANA
Commodore
March 8,1991
Did anybody notice that
Nirvana kinda blew? Oh
sure, they played their "hits,"
and everybody bounced up
and down; guys with rugby
shirts and cowboy boots
slammed and got sweaty and
then bragged about it to their
girlfriends in black miniskirts
while the "alternative" music
crowd congratulated each
other on their latest find now
that The Happy Mondays are
being played on CFML. But
man, didn't anybody watch
the band? They were just
playing around; they had
your money, they didn't care.
Doesn't anybody remember
the glazed eyes, the raw
emotion, the wicked guitars,
the fuckin' power of Nirvana
just a year and a half ago?
Bruno
SKINNY PUPPY
Commodore
December 22,1991
The most revolting thing
by far was the latex human
chest Ogre put on for a couple of songs: he proceeded
to grab suspicious-looking,
blood-smeared stuff out of
its stomach and munch happily on it. My stomach wasn't
too pleased.
June
SONIC YOUTH
Luv-A-Fair
October 4,1987
It was all too short, almost
grinding to a halt just after
midnight, little more than
half an hour after it began—Sunday drinking laws.
Thurston Moore asked,
"What do you want, one of
our songs or five Ramones
Covers?" Well, we got four
Ramones covers, plus "I
Wanna be your Dog" sung by
Kim. The houselights flashed
on and Moore suggested we
riot, but it was Sunday night,
and this is Vancouver.
Norm Van Rassel
SWEATY NIPPLES
CONTROL FREAKS
The Cruel Elephant
February 16,1991
Good and Fuuuunky!!! Plus
they sold all their T-shirts
and   you   know   what   that
Inez Velasco
10 FEET TALL
North Van Rec Centre
August 20,1991
If you missed 10 Feet Tall,
you were lucky.
Scooter
TIN MACHINE
Commodore
December 21,1991
Bowie was soft spoken and
charming even when bonked
right in the forehead (good
shot, asshole!) with a pack
of matches; he was speaking
at the time, examined the
matches and said thanks!
Classy.
Judith Beeman
TRAGIC MULATTO
SILENT GATHERING
Club Soda
October 15,1991
Tragic Mulatto visited their
wrath, and their curiously
impaired vision, upon the
populace of Vancouver on
Sunday, 15 October. Said
vision is one that plumbs
depths hitherto undisturbed
even by those with the strongest stomachs. Case in point:
the opening segment, which
saw one of their drummers
stand demurely before the
microphone centre stage,
and recite a paean to the joys
of airing one's anus. Hey, in
these days of too-tight jeans
the guy probably has a point.
Viola Funkdom
U2
PUBLIC ENEMY
THE SUGARCUBES
BC Place
November 3,1990
[The  review was  crap,   but
JESUS CHRIST! Public Enemy
and the Sugarcubes—I'd have
given my left knacker for a
ticket. —Merek]
WEEN
HUMP
Cruel Elephant
February 5,1993
"But I thought they didn't
play!?" Yeah well you're
wrong. It goes a little something like this...
Big Gulp hit the stage first.
Originally from Calgary, this
now local trio opened with a
blazing first three songs, one
of which was rumoured to be
a Siouxsie and the Banshees
cover. The crowd was into it.
Unfortunately, after this the
band decided to steer into
Red Hot Chili Peppers territory so I ducked downstairs
to the bar to get a few gulps
of my own.
Next up: Hump. This band
sucks. I'm sorry, but if I had
known that this little combo
included a naked, six foot, 90
pound shadow-boxing loser, I
would have either shown up
late or stayed downstairs.
As for during the tunes, the
naked little geek was less
annoying. From the looks
on their faces the collection of Vancouver's finest
law enforcers were equally
impressed. To make a terribly
long and boring set short, the
geek decided to piss on the
audience. Bad move. As the
bouncers cleared the stage
the cops decided to close the
bar because the promoter (in
a typical hunger for money
and a Bruce Allen-like disregard for patrons manner)
oversold the show, booked
shit like Hump, and filled The
Elephant way past capacity.
Everyone had to leave, line
up, and re-enter while the
cops counted heads. Rock 'n'
Roll pre-school style.
By the time Ween climbed
the sacred stage, only 80 of
the original crowd of 250
were present to witness
these current college faves.
And Dean and Gene Ween
did not disappoint. Playing
only 35 minutes due to the
massive delay, Ween made
the most of the show ripping through "You Fucked
Up" and "Don't Get 2 Close
(2 My Fantasy)." "El Camino"
and the classic "Pork Roll
Egg and Cheese" had the
crowd drooling with childlike acceptance. Me? I dug it.
But I recognize that Ween is
a two-man project worthy
of enjoyment, not idolatry.
Whether you like them or not
they're making lots of noise.
A    DIVISION    OF    VITAMIN    A    INDUSTRIES,    INC.
And if you are one of the 170
or so who went home before
Ween hit the stage, my main
man Gener sums it up best:
"You fucked up!...you really
fucked up!"
Justin Love
NEW ACTION
LES SAVY FAV
PRETTY GIRLS MAKE
GRAVES
Richard's on Richards
Thursday, January 2
In a live environment, it is
crucial for a band to form a
connection with its audience.
Some bands hope their music
alone is enough to make
that connection; others try
between-song banter and
conversations with the audience; at the extreme, a few
bands may even bring eager
members of its audience up
on stage. But when Les Savy
Fav's singer Tim Harrington
danced feverishly among the
audience to the tacky euro-
disco coming from his iPod's
portable speakers before his
band even took to the stage,
you knew the crowd was
about to be transfixed like a
deer to headlights.
Only a few songs into
their set, Harrington had torn
the jeans of a concert-goer
sitting on the balcony, tossed
the bar chandeliers around,
and grabbed a stool from the
balcony and sung standing
from atop this precarious
perch (he repeated this trick
with one of the speakers at
the front of the stage serving
as his pedestal). The wildness
didn't stop there; Harrington
later threw his mike onto the
balcony and went upstairs
to sing to a crowd used to
being somewhat removed
from the action; he then
proceeded to hang from the
ceiling and then had a couple
of crowd members dangle
him over the balcony's edge
by his legs. Finally, during the
band's last song, Harrington
retrieved a white sheet and
a strobe light and set up a
silhouetted striptease. There
was no encore, likely because
any attempt of Harrington's
to top his already engrossing
performance would have put
his life in mortal danger.
While the above description may give the impression Les Savy Fav is nothing
but a novelty band in a live
setting, their intensity and
skill proved them anything
but. The band's rhythm section composed of drummer
Harrison Hanyes and bassist
Syd Butler laid down a groove
that had most of the audience dancing (read: not simply head-bobbing) for most
of the night. Guitarist Seth
Jabour led many of the songs
(a good portion of them new)
into   extended   jams   that
32 February 2002 allowed the band members
to demonstrate their virtuosity (and allow Harrington
time to play to the crowd).
While the rest of the band
acted as Harrington's collective 'straight men,' their
distinguished performances
ensured they were not overlooked.
Opener Pretty Girls
Make Graves' peppy set of
punk/indie-rock/pop was
hindered by a nearly inaudible vocal from Andrea Zollo.
Certainly the crowd appreciated the band's enthusiasm, but the disappearing
lead vocal made it difficult
for those unfamiliar with
PGMG's songs to connect
to the band; a good performance overall, just not deer
in the headlights good.
Neil Braun
SHINDIG FINALS 2002
THESTUNTS
MY PROJECT:BLUE
BLACK RICE
Railway Club
Tuesday, December 10
The three finalists were The
Stunts, my project:bIue and
Black Rice.
The Stunts were a rock-
grrl trio, with a quirky sense of
humor. They have a costume
shtick, showing up last night
in naval costume (having prior
appeared as Brownies and Mad
Scientists, apparently). They
were fun, but I'm not sure how
they got through two previous
rounds. While their sound was
intentionally edgy, they were
a little rough around the edge
still, it seemed, and lacked a
little cohesion. They, were,
however, fun, and had excellent crowd support.
my project: blue were the
ones that I'd seen before. In
fact, when I first saw them,
I pegged them as potential
finalists. They started of
moody and dark, their weird
8mm film showing fuzzily behind them. The person
sitting next to me, likened
them to an 'indie-rock Doors,
except for the voice' (which
I'd say is 'inspired' by Thorn
Yorke of Radiohead). This
moody, mellow sound held
sway for about half their set,
until their organist strapped
on a guitar and they woke up,
to become a much more lively
band (including a signature
dance!). I thought they were
really great, and quite likely
to make the jump across to
college radio.
After a somewhat lame
Jokes for Beer (though full of
offerings, they just mostly
sucked; there was, however,
one joke 1 particularly liked: So
a chicken and an egg are lying
in bed together. The egg is
smoking. The egg turns to the
chicken and says 'I guess we
know the answer to that question then'), Black Rice came
on. Black Rice was straight-
up, . '70s-fueled guitar rock.
Right down to neck-length
wavy hair, headbands and bad
handlebar moustaches. But
they could really rock. Their
older material was excellent,
but they also included a slew
of new songs, which seemed
to more metal, less melody,
and made me tune them out
somewhat.
Had it been me voting,
my project: blue would have
squeaked past Black Rice, with
The Stunts in third. However,
according to the judges, Black
Rice won, with My Project:
Blue second and The Stunts
still in third.
Steve Tannock
GARAJ MAHAL
Burrard Ballroom
Sunday, November 29
The paper noted their sound
as 'groove-funk.' Now, if you
are one of the people who
has troubles with labels,
such as I, then this will mean
little to you. When I think
of funk, I think P-Funk and
getting funked up. Garaj
Mahal leans towards the
instrumental jazz arena with
a soulful helping of groove.
Boring you say. All I can
attest to is this: everybody
danced. EVERYBODY.
After   the   first   set,   I
wandered to the smoking
room, and met the eyes of
many just heading off the
dance floor. Their eyes shone
with inner exuberance. We
were infected by the beat,
at once impatient for the
next set and utterly content
with the night. And that's
only an hour into the show.
Luckily for us, Garaj Mahal
reclaimed the stage after a
one smoke break. Perfect.
The sound you ask?
Imagine a bass and
double guitar bouncing
solos off each other, causing the Burrard Ballroom to
reverberate within its Shiva
draped walls. Picture various sections of the ballroom
shaking it hard, while others up close, do not move,
mesmerized by the whirling
fingers and the crooning of
an organ.
No vocals, a poem, and
three hours of endless
grooves kept everyone in
tune with the night. Finally,
our collective whistles were
punctuated with a plea by
the band to let them continue their encore after the
lam curtain call. These fellas were true entertainers,
with a sound that echoed
not only their maturity, but
their utter proficiency as
musicians.
Like   I   said,   everybody
danced. That speaks ir volumes about meeting peoples'
expectations on so many different levels. When's the last
time you could say that?
Fraser Downie
THIEVERY COPORATION
Commdore Ballroom
Friday, November 27
A couple days before I
was to witness the Thievery
Coporation live experience,
my cousin said something
like 'I don't really get the
DJ's shows (especially the
'downtempo' ones) when
people are just facing the
DJ and watching him spin
other people's records and
or sounds that are already
sampled into the existing
record..."
Sheeet, cos: wish you were
there....
Backed by two percu-
sionists (one with full drum
set, one with the bongo's),
a sitar player (sitting cross
legged, of course), and not
one but 5 vocalists (Pam
Bricker, Lou Lou, Emelianna
Torrini and the tandem of
Jah Roots and Zeebo), Eric
Hilton (on turntables) and
Rob Garza (on synthesized
'dub plates') showed all at
the Commodore that 2 'DJ's'
can really interpretate turn-
tablised world beats into
a show of live  music and
atmosphere.
(I am assuming) Where
Sigur Ros and Zero 7 must
have dramatically created
their live ethereal or cosmic
atmospheres (respectively)
and where DJ Krush and
Jazzanova (both whom I dig
a lot) spun records at their
last Vancouver shows, in my
opnion, the Corporation's
(along with St. Germain
and Moby) studio production encompasses a wider
array of sounds and was still
able to translate that into a
full out live concert. They
soothed us with the sublime
female vocal driven song and
then turned around to rock
their tribal break beats laced
with sitar freestyles and a
pair of mad rasta MC's.
Is it safe to say that we
are finally in a post-turtable
world of music and shows
where strait turntable cats
like Q-bert can still show us
what Eddie Van Halen would
have been like as a DJ or
one like John Digweed can
transport you out to another
dimension thru mixing sick
dance and trance records
together but then also have
an ensemble like Thievery
Coporation where the worlds
of turntablised and live
music are can be married
happily in the studio and on
stage? •
^rptitaph
33 DiSCORDER Saturday Feb 1 ..six piece high lonesome sounds of ...Great Northern
Thursday Feb 6.... country duo Bfackfeather returns
Friday Feb 7....The Kevin House Band (gutter pastoral) w/ Carsick
Saturday Feb 8..solarbaby vocalist Mark De Souza with Roger Dean Young
Thursday Feb 13...Glenn ftlishaw (Inspired and original folk/pop/country)
Friday Feb 14...Valentines Spectacular with Petunia and more TBA
Saturday Feb 15... Victorias Leeroy Stagger with Ryan Beattie (chet)
Thursday Feb 20...Scott Smith and Victor Polyik (slide guitar&harp duo)
Friday Feb 21... Jack Harlan Band with Jonathan Anderson (solo)
Saturday Feb 22..Daisy Duke (country harmonies to die for)
Thursday Feb 27..Antoine Baby Harry with special guest MikeTaylor
Saturday Feb 28th Jon Wood (flophouse jr) and Steve Wright (mazinaw)
4210 Main St. Vancouver BC 604 709 8555
If 5 bucks... so why not support local music?
34 February 2002 diartvt
February Long Vinyl
Cat Power
Secret Three
July Fourth Toilet
Yo La Tengo
Smog
Buck 65
Dirtmitts
Oneida
The Organ
10 LLC. KILLERS
11 Gloryholes
12 Superbees
History Advance [EP]
Northern And Industrial [EP]
Something For Everyone
Nuclear War [EP]
Accumulation: None
Square
Get On
Each One Teach One
Sinking Hearts
Love Is A Charm...
Want A Divorce
High Volume
13 T.C.D. Sound System   The Essential Collection
14 Crooked Fingers
15 Godspeed...
16 Warlocks
17 ALunaRed
18 Drive Like Jehu
19 Kinski
20 Jean Routhier
21 Bruce McCulloch
22 Amon Tobin
23 Elevator
24 Sonig
25 The Dears
26 DJMeDJYou
27 Raveonettes
28 G.I. Joe Killaz
29 Trans Canada...
30 Boards of Canada
31 Ruins
32 Angels of Light
33 Darin Grey
34 Francisco Lopez
35 Ladytron
Red Devil Dawn
Yanqui U.X.O.
Phoenix Album
SLMZK
Yank Crime
Airs Above Your Station
Endurance
D. B. Project
Out From Out Where
Darkness-Light
Various Artists
Protest [EP]
Can You See...
Whip It On
S/T
V/A
Twoism
Matador
Hive Fi
Pro-Am
Matador
Drag City
Wea
Sonic Unyon
Jagjaguwar
Global
Estrus
Dirtnap
Acetate
M
Merge
Constellation
Birdman
Action Driver
Swami
Sub Pop
Co-Op Radio
Sonic Unyon
Ninja Tune
Sonic Unyon
Sonig
Independent
Eenie Meenie
The Orchid
Cobra
Catch and Release
Warp
February Short Vinyl
1 The Birthday Machine      Direction... T.Q. Rn'R
2 Veal I hate your lipstick Six Shooter
3 Frog Eyes/J.W.A.B. Split      Global Symphonic
4 Maximum Rn'R switchblade Independent
5 World Burns to Death   human meat... Prank
6 Gentlemen Of Horror       5 Song 45       Independent
February Indie Home Jobs
7 Service Group
8 The Agenda
9 The Starvations
10 Armatron
11 Lupine Howl
12 ArtimusPyle
13 New Town Animals
14 Semiautomatic
15 Dexters Laboratory
16 The Spitfire:
17 Get Hustle
18 Chromatics
Manufacto    Squid vs. Whale
19 Shannon Wright
20 Mirah
Are You Nervous? Kindercore
Horrified Eyes GSL
s/t GSL
Don' t lose your head Vinyl Hiss
s/t Prank
Fashion Fallout Dirtnap
remixed by... GSL
The hip hop... Rhino
Juke Box High Glazed
Who do You Love? Gravity Scat
s/t GSL
A Junior Hymn Grey Flat
Small Scale k
Me
Ashley Schram
The Department
Married to the Music
Girl Nobody
The Hand
Silt
The Blacklist
William Hardman
10 Groovy Gals
1 1   Snow Goats
1 2 The Feminists
13 The Sore Throats
14 Collapsing Opposites
15 Skeleton
16 III Royal w/ Kut Korners
17 Painted Youth
18 St. Tibs Day
19 Rize Rocket
20 Jordan McKenzie
Counting the Hours
Urban Rain
Winner Like You
I'm a Drunk
Come and Find Me
Already/ Not Yet
Untitled
A Travesty
Cherry Pie
Trash Song
The Dressmakers
Sad Echo Wailed
Prickalicious
Holden and Esther
Untitled
Rock on Yah Block
Less than Stellar
Lariat
Cloud #3
Caroline
Tzomborgha Ipecac
Everything... Young God
St. Louis Shuffle   Family Vineyard
Addy En El Pais... Alien8
Light and Magic Emperor
c
HOW THE CHARTS WORKJ
The monthly charts are compiled based on the number of times a
CD/LP ("long vinyl"), 7" ("short vinyl"), or demo tape/CD ("indie
home jobs") on CiTR's playlist was played by our DJs during the
previous month (i.e., "November" charts reflect airplay over October). Weekly charts can be received via email. Send mail to
"majordomo@unixg.ubc.ca" with the command: "subscribe citr-charts." •
Hey!!
'This got your attention, right? Yc
To find out about our cheap rate
call: 604 329 3865
email: discorder@yahoo.com
35 DiSCORDER om tlie did
ide to CiTR 101.9fm
SUNDAY
ARE   YOU   SERIOUS?   MUSIC
9:00AM- 12:00PM All of
time is measured by its art. This
show presents the most recent
new music from around the
world. Ears open.
THE ROCKERS SHOW
12:00-3:00PM   Reggae inna
all styles and fashion.
BLOOD    ON    THE     SADDLE
3:00-5:00PM      Reakowshit-
caught-in-yer-boots country.
CHIPS WITH EVERYTHING   alt.
5:00-6:00PM British pop music
from all decades.
SAINT   TROPEZ      alt.   5:00-
6:00PM      International     pop
(Japanese,     French,    Swedish,
British,       US,       etc.),       '60s
soundtracks and  lounge.   Book
your jet set holiday now!
QUEER   FM 6:00-8:00PM
Dedicated to the gay, lesbian,
bisexual, and transsexual communities of Vancouver. Lots of human
interest features, background on
current issues and great music.
RHYTHMSINDIA 8:00-10:00PM
Rhythmslndia features a wide
range of music from India,
including popular music from
Indian movies from the 1930s
to the present, classical music,
semi-classical music such as
Ghazals and Bhajans, and also
Qawwalis, pop and regional
language numbers.
TRANCENDANCE 10:00PM-
12:00AM Join us in practicing
the ancient art of rising above
common thought and ideas as
your host, DJ Smiley Mike lays
down the latest trance cuts to pro
pel us into the domain of the mystic
al.<trancendance@hotmail.com>
THE SHOW       12:00-2:OOAM
BBC WORLD SERVICE       2:00-
6:00 AM
MONDAY
BBC WORLD SERVICE 6:00-
8:00 AM
BREAKFAST WITH THE BROWNS
8:00-11:00AM Your favourite
brown-sters, James and Peter,
offer a savoury blend of the
familiar and exotic in a blend of
aural delights!
LOCAL KIDS MAKE GOOD ah.
11:00 1:00PM Local Mike and
Local Dave bring you local music
of all sorts. The program most
likely to play your band!
GIRLFOOD alt.   11:00-1:00PM
PARTS UNKNOWN 1:00-
3:00PM Underground pop for
the minuses with the occasional
interview with your host Chris.
SANDBOX THEATRE 3:00-
4:00PM A show of radio drama
orchestrated and hosted by UBC
students, featuring independent
works from local, national and
international theatre groups.
We welcome your involvement.
<sandboxtheatre@hotmail.com>
ABSOLUTE BEGINNERS 4:00-
5:00PM A chance for new CiTR
DJs to flex their musical muscle.
Surprises galore.
WENER'S BARBEQUE 5:00-
6:00PM Join the sports dept.
for their coverage of the T-Birds.
CRASH THE POSE alt. 6:00-
7:30PM Hardcore/punk as
fuck from beyond the grave.
SOLARIZATION alt.  6:00PM-
6:30PM Current affairs with an
edge. Kenneth Chan exposes
issues that truly matter. None
of that mainstream crap.
Anybody say controversy? Email:
<solarization@radio.fm>
MY ASS alt. 6:30-7:30PM
Phelps, Albini, 'n' me.
WIGFLUX RADIO 7:30-9:00PM
Listen to Selecta Krystabelle for
your reggae education.
THE JAZZ SHOW       9:00PM-
12:00AM Vancouver's longest
running prime time jazz program. Hosted by the ever-suave
Gavin Walker. Features at 11.
Feb. 3: Tonight a fine and often
overlooked concert by bassist/
composer Charles Mingus and
one of his better working bands
with a special emphasis on alto
saxophonist John Handy (who
has a birthday today). "Jazz
Portraits".
Feb. 10: Tonight the only "Live"
performance of John Coltrane's
epochal suite, A Love Supreme,
with his classic quartet.
Feb. 17: Mr Clarinet is the album
title and the proper name for
Buddy DeFranco, a man who
brought Charlie Parker's concepts
to the clarinet. Buddy performs
here with Kenny Drew (Piano),
Milt Hinton (bass) and the great
Art Blakey (drums). Happy
Birthday Buddy DeFranco!
Feb. 24: One of big band leader
Stan Kenton's finest recordings.
Johnny Richards' suite called
Cuban Fire. Big band jazz at its
most dramatic.
VENGEANCE IS MINE 12:00-
3:00AM Hosted by Trevor. It's
punk rock, baby! Gone from the
charts but not from our hearts—
thank fucking Christ.
PSYCHEDEUC AIRWAVES 3:00-
6:30AM DJ Christopher Schmidt
also hosts Organix at Club 23 (23
West Cordova) on Friday nights.
TUESDAY
PACIFIC PICKIN' 6:30-8:00AM
Bluegrass, old-time music, and its
derivatives with Arthur and "The
Lovely Andrea" Berman.
HIGHBRED VOICES    8:00AM-
9:30AM
THIRD   TIME'S   THE   CHARM
9:30-11:30AM     Open your
ears and prepare for a shock! A
harmless note may make you a
fan! Hear the menacing scourge
that is Rock and Roll! Deadlier
than the most dangerous criminal!
<borninsixtynine@hotmail.com>
FILL IN alt. 11:30AM- 1:00PM
LA BOMBA      alt. 11:30-12:30
REEL TO REAL ah 12:30-1:00PM
Movie reviews and criticism.
BEATUP RONIN 1:00-2:00PM
Where dead samurai can pro-
CPR 2:00-3:30PM
Buh bump... buh bump... this
is the sound your heart makes
when you listen to science talk
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
I 6AM
7
8
9
10
11
12pm
1
2
3
4
PACIFIC PICKIN'
6
7
8
9
10
11
12**|
1
2
3
4
5
6
REGGAE LINKUP
ARE YOU
SERIOUS?
MUSIC
~s
ROCKERS
SHOW
BLOOD ON THE L
SADDLE
I Po I   SAINT   I Po
LLIJ TROPEZ I	
QUEER FM
13
RHYTHMSINDIA
TRANCENDANCE
BBC WORLD
SERVICE
BBC WORLD SERVICE
BREAKFAST
WITH
THE BROWNS
GIRLFOOD
LOCAL1—
KIDS MAKE
GOOD
PARTS      L
UNKNOWN
SANDBOX THEATREfTK)
ABSOLUTE BEGINNERS
m
WIGFLUX RADIO
THE
JAZZ
SHOW
VENGEANCE
IS MINE!
PSYCHEDELIC
AIRWAVES
HIGHBRED VOICES
|v\fo
THIRD TIMES
THE CHARM
REEL TO REEL  (TKJ
BEATUPRONIN   l£i
CPR
Dc/nc
MEAT EATING VEGAN(Ec)
10,000 VOICES (Tk)
FLEX YOUR
HEAD
SALARIO MINIMO
VENUS
FLYTRAP
AURAL
TENTACLES
BBC WORLD SERVICE
SUBURBAN JUNGLE
FOOL'S PARADISE L
THE ANTIDOTE
"H
RADIO FREE PRESS
H
MOTOR DADDY/ L_
RUMBLETONE RADIO
RACHEL'S
SONG
A.S.W.
(Po/Ec)
BLUE
MONDAY
(Gl)
ON AIR       L^.
WITH GREASED HAIR
LIVE FROM...
THUNDERBIRD HELL
"N
HOMEBASS
SYNAPTIC SANDWICH
HANS KLOSS'
MISERY HOUR
MORNING AFTER
SHOW
PLUTONIAN
NIGHTS
:i
10
,"1
|12***|
1
2
3
4
5
6
Cf= conscious and funky • Ch= children's • Dc= dance/electronic • Ec= eclectic • Gi= goth/industrial • Hc= hardcore • Hh= hip hop
LHk= Hans Kloss • Ki=Kids • Jz= jazz • Lm= live music • Lo= lounge • Mt= metal • No= noise • Nw= Nardwuar • Po= pop • Pu= punk
^>b^^ i><ii^^ i     ^JJg= reggae^tr= rockjJRts= roots ^JjSk^ka •So^ou|« Sp= sjDortsj|J1c= talkj»Wo= worlcl ^^^^ ^^^^
m
FIRST FLOOR
SOUND SYSTEM
BBC WORLD
SERVICE
END OF THE
WORLD NEWS
PLANET      Ef
LOVETRON
BBC WORLD
SERVICE
CAUGHT IN
THE RED
SKA-T'S
SCENIC DRIVE
H
CANADIAN LUNCH
"0
THE ONOMATOPOEIA | Tk
SHOW
RHYMES &
REASONS
OUT FOR KICKS
WIRELESS
CRUELTY
THESE ARE THE BREAKS
LEO RAMIREZ  ^
SHOW
NARDWUAR
PRESENTS
FAREASTSIDE
SOUNDS
AFRICAN
RYTHMS
THE
VAMPIRE'S
BALL
BBC WORLD
SERVICE
THE
SATURDAY
EDGE
GENERATION     [fcl
ANNIHILATION
POWERCHORD
CODE BLUE
ELECTROLUX HOUR
13
H
THE RED
EYE
REGGAE LINKUP
1|
11
|12pm|
1    I
2
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il 6
7
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36 February 2002 and techno... buh bump...
ELECTROMAGNETIC PULSES
alt. 3:30-4:30PM
ELECTRIC AVENUES alt. 3:30-
4:30PM Last Tuesday of every
month, hosted by The Richmond
Society For Community Living.
A variety music and spoken
word program with a focus on
people with special needs and
disabilities.
THE MEAT-EATING VEGAN
4:30-5:00PM
10,000 VOICES 5:00-6:00PM
Poetry, spoken word, performances, etc.
FLEX YOUR HEAD 6:00-
8:00PM Up the punx, down
the emol Keepin' it real since
19;
■ yo.
http://flexyourhead.vancouverh
8:00-
ordcore.com/
SALARIO MINIMO
10:00PM
VENUS FLYTRAP'S LOVE DEN
alt. 10:00PM-12:00AM
<loveden@hofmail.com>
ESCAPISM    alt. 10:00PM-
12:00AM Electro-acoustic-trip-
dubethno-groove-ambient-soul-
jazz-fusion and beyond I From
the bedroom to Bombay via
Brooklyn and back. The sounds
of reality remixed. Smile. <DJSa
tyricon@hotmai I. com>
AURAL TENTACLES
12:00-6:00AM It could
be punk, ethno, global,
trance, spoken word, rock,
the unusual and the weird,
or it could be something different.   Hosted   by   DJ   Pierre.
WEDNESDAY
BBC WORLD SERVICE      6:00-
7:00AM
THE      SUBURBAN      JUNGLE
7:00-9:00AM Bringing you
an entertaining and eclectic
mix of new and old music live
from the Jungle Room with your
irreverent hosts Jack Velvet and
Nick The Greek. R&B, disco,
techno, soundtracks, Americana,
Latin jazz, news, and gossip. A
real gem I <suburbanjungle@chan
nel88.com>
FOOL'S PARADISE 9:00-
10:00AM Japanese music
and talk.
THE ANTIDOTE 10:00AM-
11:30PM
ANOIZE 11:30AM-1:00PM
Luke Meat irritates and educates
through musical deconstruction.
Recommended for the strong.
THE SHAKE 1:00-2:00PM
RADIO FREE PRESS
2:00-3:00PM Zines are deadl
Long live the zine showl
MOTORDADDY alt.
3:00-5:00PM Cycle-riffic rawk
and roll I
RUMBLETONE RADIO alt.
3:00-5:00PM Primitive,
fuzzed-out garage mayhem I
RACHEL'S SONG 5:00-6:30PM
Socio-political,     environmental
activist news and spoken word
with some music, too.
www, necessarwoices.org
AND SOMETIMES WHY alt.
6:30-8:00PM
(First Wednesday of every
month.)
BLUE MONDAY alt. 6:30PM-
8:00PM Vancouver's only
industrial-electronic-retro-goth
program. Music to schtomp to,
hosted by Coreen.
FILL IN   8:00PM-9:00PM
FOLK OASIS 9:00- 11:00PM
Roots music for folkies and
non-folkies... bluegrass, singer-
songwriters,worldbeat, alt coun
try and more. Not a mirage!
<folkoasis@canada.com>
HANS KLOSS' MISERY HOUR
1 1:00PM-2:00AM
FIRST FLOOR SOUND SYSTEM
2:00AM-6:00AM
THURSDAY
BBC WORLD SERVICE 6:00-
8:00AM
END OF THE WORLD NEWS
8:00-10:00AM
PLANET LOVETRON 10:00-
11:30AM Music inspired
by Chocolate Thunder; Robert
Robot drops electro past
and present, hip hop and
intergalactic funkmanship.
<rbotlove@yahoo.com>
CANADIAN LUNCH 11:30AM-
1:00PM
STEVE AND MIKE 1:00-
2:00PM Crashing the boy's
club in the pit. Hard and fast,
heavy and slow (punk and
hardcore).
THE ONOMATOPOEIA SHOW
2:00-3:00PM Comix comix
comix. Oh yeah, and some
music with Robin.
RHYMES AND REASONS
3:00-5:OOPM
LEGALLY HIP alt. 5:00-6:00PM
PEDAL REVOLUTIONARY
alt. 5:00-6:00PM Viva la
Velorutionl DJ Helmet Hair and
Chainbreaker Jane give you
all the bike news and views
you need and even cruise
around while doing itl
www.sustainabilitv.com/dinos/
OUT FOR KICKS 6:00-7:30PM
No Birkenstocks, nothing politically correct. We don't get paid
so you're damn right we have
fun with it. Hosted by Chris B.
ON AIR WITH GREASED HAIR
7:30-9:00PM The best in roots
rock 'n' roll and rhythm and
blues from 1942-1962 with your
snappily-attired host Gary Olsen.
<ripitup55@aol.com>
LIVE FROM THUNDERBIRD
RADIO     HELL 9:00-
11:00PM Local muzak from 9.
Live bandz from 10-11. http://
www.stepandahalf.com/tbirdhell
WORLD HEAT 11:00PM-
1:00AM An old punk rock heart
considers the oneness of all things
and presents music of worlds
near and far. Your host, the great
Daryl-ani, seeks reassurance via
<worldheat@hotmail.com>.
WIRELESS CRUELTY 1:00-
6:00AM
FRIDAYS
BBC WORLD SERVICE 6:00-
8:00AM
CAUGHT IN THE RED 8:00-
10:00AM Trawling the trash
heap of over 50 years worth of
real rock V roll debris.
SKAT'S     SCENE-IK     DRIVEI
10:00AM-12:00PM
Email requests to <djska_
t@hotmail.com>.
THESE     ARE    THE     BREAKS
12:00-2:00PM Top notch
crate diggers DJ Avi Shack and
Promo mix the underground hip
hop, old school classics and
original breaks.
THE LEO RAMIREZ SHOW
2:00-3:30PM The best mix of
music, news, sports, and com
mentary from around the local
and international Latin American
NARDWUAR     THE     HUMAN
SERVIETTE PRESENTS...
3:30-5:00PM
CiTR NEWS AND ARTS 5:00-
6:00PM A volunteer produced,
student and community newscast
featuring news, sports and arts.
Reports by people like you.
"Become the Media." To get
involved, visit www.citr.ca and
click "News Dept."
FAR EAST SIDE SOUNDS alt.
6:00-9:00PM
AFRICAN RHYTHMS alt. 6:00-
9:00PM David "Love" Jones
brings you the best new and old
jazz, soul, Latin, samba, bossa,
and African music from around
the world.
HOMEBASS 9:00PM-12:00AM
Hosted by DJ Noah: techno but
also some trance, acid, tribal,
etc. Guest DJs, interviews, retrospectives,    giveaways,    and
THE MORNING AFTER SHOW
12:00-2:00 AM
THE VAMPIRE'S BALL      2:00-
6:00AM Dark, sini
all genres to soothe the Dragon':
soul. Hosted by Drake.
Kick arourJi ^Wovn loos
of
SATURDAY
BBC WORLD SERVICE 6:00AM-
8:00PM
THE SATURDAY EDGE 8:00AM-
12:00PM Studio guests,
new releases, British comedy
sketches, folk music calendar,
and ticket giveaways.
8-9AM: African/World roots.
9AM-12PM: Celtic music and performances.
GENERATION ANNIHILATION
12:00- 1:00PM Tune in for a
full hour of old and new punk
and Oi mayhem I
POWERCHORD 1:00-
3:00PM Vancouver's only true
metal show; local demo tapes,
imports, and other rarities.
Gerald Rattlehead, Dwain, and
Metal Ron do the damage.
CODE BLUE 3:O0-5:O0PM From
backwoods delta low-down slide
to urban harp honks, blues, and
blues roots with your hosts Jim,
Andy, and Paul.
ELECTROLUX HOUR 5:00-
6:00PM
SOUL TREE 6:00-9:00PM From
doo-wop to hip hop, from the
electric to the eclectic, host
Michael Ingram goes beyond
the call of gospel and lakes soul
music to the nth degree.
SYNAPTIC SANDWICH
9:00-11:00PM
PLUTONIAN NIGHTS
11:00PM-1:00AM Loops, lay
ers, and oddities. Naked phone
staff. Resident haitchc with guest
DJs and performers.
http://plutonia.org
THE RED EYE alt. 1:00-4:30AM
EARWAX alt. 1:00-4:30AM
"noiz terror mindfuck hardcore
like punk/beatz drop dem headz
rock inna junglist mashup/distort
da source full force with needlz
on wax/my chaos runs rampant
when I free da jazz..." Out.
REGGAE UNKUP 4:30-9:00AM
Hardcore dancehall reggae that
will make your mitochondria
shake. Hosted by Sister B.
con\cs.
LISTEN   TO   CiTR   ONLINE   AT
WWW.CITR.CA datebook
SUBMISSIONS TO DATEBOOK ARE FREE. FOR
THE MARCH ISSUE, THE DEADLINE IS FEB
19. FAX SHOW, FILM, EVENT AND VENUE
LISTINGS   TO
604.822.9364 OR EMAIL
<DISCORDER@CLUB.AMS.UBC.CA>
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 1
Robert Walter's 20th Congress@Fairview Pub; Drive-By
Truckers@Richard's On Richards; Kelly Joe Phelps@Capilano
College; Indie Night In Canada Presents: Livewirepalooza@The
Brickyard; Arabian Nights@Anza Club; Brian Lynch@Cellar; Broken
Crow Quartet@Sugar Refinery; Bnckhouse@The Yale; 0&V@Blunt
Bros; Great Northern@The Main; Hong Kong Blondes, Paulisdead
and Sweet Fuck All@Pat's Pub; Scumrock@Blinding Light;
Schmidaholics, Me lnfecto, Audio lnfidels@Zaks (Seattle)
SUN 2
Caillou@Queen Elizabeth Theatre; Los Angeles Guitar
Quartet@Chan Centre for the Performing Arts; Vancouver Inter-
Cultural Orchestra@Capilano College; Nineteen5@Graceland; Viva
L'American Death Ray Music, Nasty On, Mennonites@The Pic;
Carolyn Mark w/Petunia@Sugar Refinery; Scumrock@Blinding
Light; DJs Royal Brohamms@Zaks (Seattle)
TUE 4
Morcheeba@Commodore   Ballroom;   Emerica   Skate   presents:
Fuck  the   Movies   Cheap  Tuesdays@The   Brickyard;   Best   of
Restfest@Blinding Light
WED 5
Time Flies@Western Front; Sugarfish, Drip, Rockharders and
Harrow@The Brickyard; Jesse Cahill Trio@Sugar Refinery; Best of
Restfest@Blinding Light; DJ Ken Dirtnap@Zaks (Seattle)
THUR 6
GG Dartray, Speed To Kill, Noise Tribe Zero@The Brickyard; Time
Flies@Western Front; Inland Knights@Sonar; Flairs@The Royal;
Blackfeather@The Main; Critter, Ion Zoo@Sugar Refinery; Mother
Dao@Blinding Light; Lonesome Teardrops, The Glamour Pets, The
Blank-!ts@Zaks (Seattle)
FRI 7
Michael Franti and Spearhead@Commodore Ballroom; The Bill
Hilly Band, The Marc Atkinson Trio@Capilano College; Geoff
Berner, Sarah Wheeler, The Littlest Homie@The Railway Club; Tre
Hardson@Commodore Ballroom; Los Furious, The Blood Warmers,
The Skatomatics and Half Life@The Brickyard; Kids These
Days@Unit 20; Kevin House Band@The Main; Andrea Klas@Mark's
Fiasco; Ambulanza@Sugar Refinery; Girl King@Blinding Light
SAT 8
Sam Roberts, Grace Nocturnal@Commodore Ballroom; Campbell
Brothers@St. Andrews Wesley Church; O&V, Perpetual Dream
Theory, Angie lnglis@Marine Club; Roger Dean Young, Marq
DeSouza@The Main; CFOX's Indie Night Canada Presents:
LiveWirepalooza@The Brickyard; Tony Wilson Quintet@Sugar
Refinery; Girl King@Blinding Light
SUN 9
Al Simmons@Orpheum Theatre; Bob Log lll@The Pic; Coleco@Sugar
Refinery;  Girl  King@Blinding  Light;  Pungent  Stench,  Phobia,
Hellshock, Skarp@Zaks (Seattle)
MON 10
DJs Royal Brohamms@Zaks (Seattle)
TUE 11
Torsten Muller, Paul Lovens, Rudi Mahall@St. James Community
Hall; Fuck the Movies Cheap Tuesdays@The Brickyard; Faces of
Eve@The Roxy; Spiraling Within@Blinding Light
WED 12
Bolsheviks,     Mass     Undergoe,     Soundawg@The     Brickyard;
Bob    Wiseman,    Ryan    Murphy@Sugar    Refinery;    Spiraling
Within@Blinding Light; The Hunches,   Shake City, The Mystery
Girls, DJ Ken Dirtnap@Zaks (Seattle)
THUR 13
Ben Kweller, Brendan Benson ©Croatian Cultural Center; Fuel
Injected 45, Christ Complex, Darwin's Wrong,. Benny's Little
Brother@The Brickyard; Dimitri From Paris@Commodore Ballroom;
Crooked Fingers@The Pic; Adrienne Pierce, Motion Soundtrack,
Marcus Martin@The Railway Club; Beautiful Music FestivaI@Sugar
Refinery; Spiraling Within@Blinding Light; Anti-Everything, Bob
Cocks Allstars, The Sickness, Kill The President@Zaks (Seattle)
FRI 14
Martyn Joseph@Capilano College; Spitfires@Club 303; Natalie
MacMaster@Orpheum Theatre; SideSixtySeven, Red Scare,
Drunk with Guns, Scruffy Magoo@The Brickyard; Young and Sexy,
Pleasure Suit@The Railway Club; Spiraling Within@Blinding Light
Beautiful Music Festival@Sugar Refinery; Texylavania , The Load
Levelers@Zaks (Seattle)
SAT 15
Beautiful Music Festival@Sugar Refinery; Leeroy Stagger, Ryan
Beattie@The   Main,   Natalie   MacMaster@Orpheum;   Spiraling
Within@Blinding Light
38 February 2002
SUN 16
Bob Wiseman, Ryan Murphy@Sugar Refinery; Spiraling
Within@Blinding Light; Schmidaholics, Molitiv Cocktail, Quick 66,
The Butchers@Zaks (Seattle)
MON 17
Neil  Finn,  Rhett Miller ©Commodore  Ballroom; Carolyn  Dawn
Johnson, Jimmy Rankin, Keith Urban ©Queen Elizabeth Theatre; DJs
Royal Brohamms@Zaks (Seattle)
TUE 18
Choclair@Green Room; Life Under Mike@Blinding Light; Jimmy
Flame & the Sexxy Boys, Guff, The Daryls@Zaks (Seattle)
WED 19
Life Under Mike@Blinding Light; DJ Ken Dirtnap@Zaks (Seattle)
THUR20
The Harlem Globetrotters@G.M. Place; The Roots@Commodore
Ballroom; The Bluehouse@W.I.S.E. Hall; Ross Taggart, Bob Murphy@
Cellar; Candye Kane@The Yale; Bring Your Own Film@Blinding Light
FRI 21
Rising in the West: New Vancouver Jazz and Improv: J.P. Carter Trio,
Little Stitches, Smoke Rings, and Adios@Roundhouse Community
Centre; The Operators, The Hoodwinks, Ska-T and the J-Roys@Cafe
deux Soleil; Tracker@Sugar Refinery; Gridlock, Codec, Xyn@The
Brickyard; Nineteen5@Catwalk Club; American Magus@Blinding
Light
SAT 22
Reverend Horton Heat, Unknown Hinson ©Commodore Ballroom;
Dave Douglas Septet@Vancouver East Cultural Centre; The Band
of the Grenadier Guards@Pacific Coliseum; Latex Bride, Satina
Saturnina, Zsa Zsa@MS. T's Cabaret; The Satisfactions, The Widows,
Saturn Head@The Brickyard; American Magus@Blinding Light
SUN 23
Savoy Brown Feat. Kim Simmonds, Wishbone Ash@Yale Hotel Pub;
Aging Youth Gang, Shrimpmeat, Pets Fairies@Railway Club; Smoper,
Collapsing Lung@Sugar Refinery; American Magus@Blinding Light
MON 24
Paolo AngeIi@Sugar Refinery; DJs Royal Brohamms@Zaks (Seattle)
TUE 25
Bet. E and Stef@Sonar; Curious Whiteboy@Blinding Light
WED 26
Ladytron, Simian@Commodore Ballroom; Calexico@Richard's On
Richards; Barrage@The Vogue; Tim@The Brickyard; Sandman, Ida
Blue@Sugar Refinery; Curious Whiteboy@Blinding Light; DJ Ken
Dirtnap@Zaks (Seattle)
THUR 27
Dredg,     Glassjaw,      Hot     Water      Music,      Snocore      Rock,
Sparta@Commodore Ballroom; Staticbed, Speedbump@The Purple
Onion; A/V Lodge@Sugar Refinery; Philip Guston@Blinding Light
FRI 28
Buttless   Chaps,   Chet@Sugar   Refinery;    Harry   Nilsson's   The
Point@Blinding Light
/special event*
LEEROY STAGGER
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 15
THE MAIN
He's drunk, he's country, he wants to
drink your daughters and steal your
beer.
LADYTRON
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 26
COMMODORE
/ officially declare the Electroclash
movement dead. Let's go and poke its
bloated corpse.
THE HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 20
G.M. PLACE
The closest any Vancouverites will get
to NBA action this year. But unlike the
Grizzlies, the Trotters are guaranteed
the win.
A MOVIE, A VIDEO, YOUR BED
ANY NIGHT THIS MONTH
ALL LOCATIONS
No Funcouver starts the year as it
intends to go on—like a wet fart in a
thunderstorm.
place* to he
bassix records
217 w. hastings
604.689.7734
pic pub
620 west pender
604.669.1556
beatstreet records
3-712 robson
604.683.3344
railway club
579 dunsmuir
604.681.1625
black swan records
3209 west broadway
604.734.2828
richard's on richards
1036 richards
604.687.6794
blinding light!!
36 powell
604.878.3366
ridge cinema
3131 arbutus
604.738.6311
cellar
3611 west broadway
604.738.1959
red cat records
4305 main
604.708.9422
club 23
23 west cordova
royal
1029 granville
commodore ballroorr
868 granville
604.739.4550
scrape records
17 west broadway
604.877.1676
518 west pender
604.683.8774
scratch records
726 richards
604.687.6355
futuristic flavour
1020 granville
604.681.1766
sonar
66 water
604.683.6695
highlife records
1317 commercial
604.251.6964
sugar refinery
1115 granville
604.331.1184
legion of van
300 west pender
lotus hotel
455 abbott
teenage ramapage
19 west broadway
604.675.9227
the main cafe
4210 main
604.709.8555
Vancouver playhouse
hamilton at dunsmuir 604.665.3050
mesa luna
1926 w. broadway
video in studios
1965 main
604.872.8337
ms. t's cabaret
339 west pender
western front
303 east 8th
604.876.9343
orpheum theatre
smithe at seymour
604.665.3050
WISE club
1882 adanac
604.254.5858
pacific cinematheque
131 ho we
604.688.8202
yale
1300 granville
604.681.9253
pat's pub
403 east hastings
604.255.4301
zulu records
1972 west 4th
604.738.3232 LU
<
CO
UI
Q.
o
New Arrivals every Wednesday,
Thursday, & Friday.
Dctive Pass records
7 We ca
Broke
Trance
Hop &
We carry New and Used Vinyl: House,      JM- ■ jMM
Broken Beat, Electro, Breaks, Techno, ■! mm
Trance, Drum&Bass, Downtempo, Hip
Hop & IDM
We are Special Order specialists   HI HI 10% off vinyl every Tuesday
Hi Gift Certificates Available
Coming soon: APR002 Vernell de Long 'People Get Up'EP
324 W. Hastings | Vancouver, B.C. | V6B 1K6 | R 604.646.2411
E. info@activepassrecordings.com | WWW.activepassrecordings.com
39 DiSCORDER When The Band Came In...
February's Study of Vocal and Instrumental Resources
CROOKED
FINGERS
Red Devil Dawn
CD
If I am not mistaken, moviemakers
always yell, "Cut! And Print if when '
they have just captured the very marrow of their art. Must be
nice to know when you have skillfully penetrated the darkness
of creativity to illuminate the essence of what you wanted.
Thank the actors. Thank the cinematographer. Thank the others, and everyone, for the great thing that has been accomplished. Well now, if I am also not mistaken, Eric Bachmann
has also taken a torch into the darkness to illumine today's
classic porch-song odes akin to nice sippers of whiskey plus
lemon! Bachmann has given greatness a sonic domain.
Indeed..."Cut. Print it. Red Devil Dawn Is done'.
ZULU PRESENTS CROOKED FINGERS, LIVE AT THE
PIC PUB, THURSDAY FEBRUARY 13TH
ENTER TO WIN 2 TICKETS FROM US!
CD 19.98
GALLA
Televise CD
I you'll notice Brooklyn is nicely
asserting itself as the breeding
ground for some of the most interesting and knowledgeable rock 'n
roll out there today. Oneida is holding c
psyche/garage rock end, while The V
sharing a loft in the artmospheric part o' town. Minimal, crisp,
intense, and just a bit avant-garde. Televise is an excellent
and welcome release for any fan of CAUA's aforementioned
Brooklyn brethren, as well as Radiohead or Interpol. While
the future may not be televised, the present certainly is!
Enjoy.
CD 16.98
BONNIE PRINCE BUY
Master and Everyone CD/LP
If this record is anything like the last fantastic (and secretly
so very dirty and naughty) BONNIE PRINCE BILLY CD, Ease
Down the Road, then we implore everyone to buy it instantly
and thus for once enjoy pure, fully realized customer satisfaction. How often can that be claimed of any experience,
not simply vis-a-vis shopping? Seriously. In any case,
along with such American talent as Jeff Tweedy and Jim
O'Rourke, we think Will Oldham is one of the best and most
captivating singer-songwriters his country has to offer, barring the best of the (still active) old guard, like Dylan (of
course). Speaking of the old guard, Johnny Cash covered
Oldham's "I See a Darkness' on American III: Solitary Man.
This is truly an endorsement to be proud of, we imagine,
one that we support very much. American music—sometimes it's great.
CD 19.98     LP 16.98
PRICES IN EFFECT UNTIL FEBRUARY 28, 2003
THE SEA AND
CAKE
One Bedroom
CD/LP
If it could get any better than this. I
wouldn't know. With One Bedroom,
the sixth record for the decade-or-so old The Sea and Cake, the
Midwest air gusts rather lightly, indeed more breezy and gentle
than outright blowing wind, which otherwise typifies the famous
windy city of Chicago, hometown to the boys in question. Such
is the music on this latest recording, too, ali nicely swaying and
easy grooves, with artful live band dynamics overlaid with bright
and fancy computer-assisted production. There's still plenty of
rumble and snap in the back to keep stuff happening, of course,
and some long, guitar-driven, locked-down and bRssed-out out-
ros to keep heads nodding. So just sit back—way. way back—
and let the mellow, warm wind put you to rest.
ZULU PRESENTS THE SEA AND CAKE,
MARCH 10TH AT RICHARDS ON RICHARDS Wf
CALIFONE TICKETS $19.25
ENTER TO WIN 2 TICKETS FROM US!
CD 19.98   LP 16.98
LOOSE FUR
s/t CD
JACKIE-0
MOTHERFUCKER
Change CD/LP
map - are you
therefore lost? This is the question
that has guided free rock ensemble
Jackle-0 Motherfucker's discursive '
trajectory through the ghetto sound sonic l
for JOFM Change has come... If you remember the critical discourse that accompanied the arrival of transcendent sonic outfits such as Tortoise and Godspeed You Black Emperor, you
will undoubtedly recognize the earmarks on another great band
in our midst! Jackie-0 is arguably the biggest underground act
in continental America today, but note, they are not overnight
sensations. They have released 8 albums over the years, and
must now deal with the daunting changes that accompany the
arrival of spector-like gaze of the 'critical press'. Day jobs will
have to be quit, calls screened, and horrible questions
answered - indeed change has finally come!
CD/LP 19.98
TIGA
DJ KICKS CD
If your biological clock is ticking in a painful kind of way. ladies,
TIGA is here to solve your, problem. The key to making babies
Is finding a mate, and TIGA's got the art of courtship all
wrapped up in one hot little plastic package. Take this disc
home and learn to dance. Dig out your mom's hottest '80s
ouch-fit and strap it on. You're now ready to rule the clubs -
electro-style. The sleaze you're learning here is more valuable
than contraband McDonalds fries at a fat-kid camp. Hell, you
might even conceive on the dance-floor! I could tell you more
about the music, but you don't really need to care - suffice to
i hot, and you'll score.
CD 20.98
BOOk + MuSiC Culture A Literary Affair at Zulu Sunday
February 23rd at 4PM with local writers...
Lee Henderson- The Broken Record Technique
Andrea Gin- Bonny Day Press - Turf + Shawna's Diary
Aaron Peck- A young voice of new poetry
Art Culture
"Empire" - new work from the highly revered Johann Groebner
I
If American music has something
better to offer than Jeff Tweedy
and Jim O'Rourke (and Will
Oldham, too, as we argue elsewhere) right know, it's probably
way, way underground. In which case, by the time we all hear
of this imaginary new thing, Tweedy and O'Rourke. based on
the caliber of their present work, will be but that much more
established and advanced anyway. The thing is, winning horses usually continue to win. and then they become the stuff of
legend. Luckily, we're here at the first few stages of the myth-
making process for Tweedy and O'Rourke. Now, the sixties
are surely gone: that time and its ways are really of no use to
us. except as a reference. On thing that seems to continue,
however, if less often than one might like, is people freely
embracing a worthy artist and making them legendary, without
undue marketing tomfoolery So here's the deal: Drag City is
still under the radar for most—let's help work together to create the rock theatre of tomorrow and give us something of
value to reflect on as time passes. Could LOOSE FUR help
weave this mythology? It does, it does.
CD 19.98
VARIOUS ARTISTS
PET PROJECTS -BRIAN WILSON
PRODUCTIONS CD
If there really ever was any question regarding the 'Brian Wilson
as the premiere sonic genius of the mid-'60s' debate, this new
collection of Wilson studio productions should further slake the
yes camp. Featuring 23 perspicacious recordings masterminded
by the genius Beach Boy, who out-does Phil Spector and Joe
Meek with a rather gallant use of the melodious vocal overdub!
Introduce yourself to the heaven of 'Runaround Lover* - Sharon
Marie, 'Pamela Jean' - Survivors, That's the Way I Feel' - Gary
Usher. "He's a Doll," "Shoot the Curl" - Honeys, "Vegetables
Laughing" - Gravy, 'Number One,' "The Revolution" - Rachel &
the Revolvers. "She Rides with Me" - Paul Petersen, "Shyin'
Away," Tallin' in Love' • American Spring "Guess I'm Dumb' •
Glen Campbell, and more. Fantastic! AVAILABLE FEBRUARY
8TH     ■9^|^K P|h§v
CD 19.98
NORIKO TUJIKO
Make Me Hard CD
If you missed out on the two triumphant shows that NORIKO
TUJIKO played in Vancouver at the sweltering height of last
summer... well you really can't be blamed. If you were to contend that this Japanese experimental pop lady was hardly a
megastar. . well you'd be right. Yes, you'd be rigfit but that's
wrong' She should be a megastar. Heck, here at Zulu, we can't
think of another musician who makes innovative music so
accessible or accessible music so innovative. That's why we
lobbied darn hard to get Make Me Hard into Canada in time for
this month's ad. And here it comes' her third album, her second for Vienna's very excellent Mego label and her greatest
achievement to date. NORIKO s multi-layered laptop symphonies will blow your mind even as her pristine voice gooses
your bumps and shivers your timbers to their very foundation.
Deeply lovely and thoroughly worthy of investigation.
KINSKI
Airs Above Your
Station CD/2LP
CD 22.98
I K£Cd7?D3\
If you could live in a penthouse
high above, looking down on the
buzz and the blur of city at
night.. .would you? If you had an
entire carafe of '99 merlot and an hour in which to finish it
off.. would you? And then, wearing nothing but a silk robe,
would you then drunkenly saunter out to your balcony, before
the waves of second guesses crash in, and lift yourself up and
over...and into the warm night air? Ladies and gentlemen, for
fans of Eno, krautrock, and all it's modern disciples: Airs
Above Your Station, the brand new album from Seattle's
KINSKI
CD 16.98    2LP 20.98
SOLE
Selling Uve Water CD/2LP
If you're sick of mainstream rap's never-ending parade of brutal materialism and misogyny... If you're sick of indie rock's
paint-by-numbers 'emotional' whining... If you're sick of living in an emotional wasteland... If you're sick of being lied
to... If you're sick of corporate slavery... If you're just plain
sick... If you're seething with negativity and thirsting for
beauty... Then ifs time to get some SOLE music in your life.
This is the new album by the Anticon label's head honcho. It's
seriously superb and it's superbly serious. Hip-hop music to
live your life by.
CD 20.98    2LP20.1
If you need me
- I'll come running!
BROKEBACK-Looks at the Bird LP/CD
RAINER MARIA-Long Knives Drawn LP/CD
THE INTERNATIONAL NOISE CONSPIRACY-Up
For Sale T/CDEP
THE WALKABOUTS-Brunken Soundtracks 2CD
YOUNG GODS-Second Nature CD
J-LIVE-Like This Anna 12"
JAN JELINEK-Avec The Exposures 12"
SCENE CREAMERS-I Suck On That Emotion
LP/CD
THE CLEAN-Anthology 2CD
THE BAPTIST GENERALS- No Silver, No Gold
CD
JOHN LANGFORD and THE SADIES- The Mayors
of the Moon CD FEB 4th
HOLOPAW- s/t CD Feb 4th
STARS- Heart CD Feb 11th
FUNK! PORCINI- Fast Asleep CD/2LP Feb 11th
MR. SCRUFF- Video DVD CD Feb 11th
ANTI-POP CONSORTIUM- Vs Matthew Shipp
CD/LP Feb 18th
MORPHINE- Best Of CD Feb 4th
CAT POWER- You Are Free CD/2LP Feb 18th
Zulu Records
1972-1976 W 4th Ave
Vancouver BC
tel 604738.3232
www.zulurecords.com
STORE HOURS
Mon to Wed
10:30-
-7:00
Thurs and Fri
10:30-
-9:00
Sat
9:30-
-6:30
Sun
12:00-
-6:00

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