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Discorder CITR-FM (Radio station : Vancouver, B.C.) Mar 1, 1988

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Full Text

 ^CITR^JCEDfrHttiSW^ S£?5 PRESENTS
from the IVORY COAST
ALPHA BLONDY
& THE SOLAR SYSTEM
13 PERFORMERS ON STAGE!
MONDAY MARCH 7*88
DOORS: 8:00 p.m.
The Commodore
870 GRANVILLE ST.
viH
^Isos^
Tickets: vtc/cbo and all usual outlets
Black Swan, Highlife,
Track Records and
Barrett Electronics.
Phone charges
280-4444. • .11 staple, -pull thi, out - remove .11 >t,ple, - pull thi. out - remove .11 mple, -pull mi out • remove .11 fple. - pull thi. out. remove .11 mple. -pull thi, out ■ remove .11 raple, - pull thi, out ■
»
CARDS*
^/RECORDS,
*MAGAZtm&
1146 Commercial*263 0913
FOR LESS!
Bring this ad to any A&B Sound location & pay only
$11.88 for both albums or both cassettes! Special of-
fer expires March 31/88.
catch A\$<fT O'L IN
CONCERT MARCH 13th « 86 ST.!
M        YOUR TOTAL ENTERTAINMENT CENTRE  ^
O&Osouno
Everything
Under the Sun
from the 50's to
the 80's
* *#*_««
i\ * ^* *y/
.AA6^
■2§s"
^  W  ^* "   II * tt   *
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> * ii * *   '■ WINTER OF HATE
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all staples - pull this out - remove all staples -pull this out - remove all staples - pull this o
Y a, I lived through the 60s. So what! For
me The 60s were a time of exploration, experimentation and adventure, albeit
probably not to the same extent as many
others given that I was still in my pre-teen years. No, '
I don't recall where I was the day John Kennedy died.
No, I don't remember seeing the Beatles on the Ed
Sullivan. And that Cuban Missile Crisis; what was
that all about anyways?
Nowadays, there seem to be a lot of people who
have this notion that the 60s were the best of times. A
large number of them are middle-aged retreads but
many are young'uns with only second-hand knowledge of this wondrous period. In conjunction with
this conception of the 60s as THE TIME comes the
opinion that the present is the worst of times. The 80s
don't possess the causes that the 60s did, 'the togetherness of that bygone era' and all that. For many, a
return to the 60s would be a blessed event.
Let's not fall into a debate over whether the 60s
were better than the 80s. Talk about a poindess
exercise. The reality is that we live in this time.
Period. And we all know nostalgia ain't what it used
to be. But let's just mention a few names. John F.
Kennedy, dead. Robert Kennedy, dead. Martin
Luther King, dead. Oh ya, and one last name: The
Beatles. I hate The Beatles.
But why? What have they ever done to you?
Good question.
First of all (obviously!), the beatles were and are
(to a greater extent now) respectable. I thought
rock'n'roll was about rebellion, sex and various other
delicious sins. The beatles were four (or was it five?
I know one of them died) nice guys in suits. They had
their own haircuts and boots. Promptly, millions of
automatons began dressing like them and hanging on
their every word.
Who are these guys anyway? So they wrote a
bunch of songs; some of which I like. But in the final
analysis, so what! Oh my gawd! So what! So what?!
I'll tell ya so what! These is desperate times. In
desperate times we search for something to cling to
for guidance or meaning in what seems to be a
meandering, meaningless, futile existence. Right, cry
me a river. For some, meaning is found in religion or
TV or self-actualization. And for others, the meaning
lies in the beatles. All othermusic becomes bland and
pointless. Only the tunes of the Fab Four have true
valuer They are the modem equivalent of Mozart,
Kids stampede
— and 28 die!
sa
Ficure VII-15. Fourteen-year-old spectator at a stadium
stampeded to death when the moving stairway on which
she was standing came to a sudden halt and she was
thrown to the ground. The face and neck show the imprint of the escalator tread, pull this out - remove all staples
dude. Dump all you Echo and the Bunnymen or John
Cougar or Whitney Houston records. Now buy every
single beatles lp. Get them on CD if you can. Now
just listen to the beatles. Over and over again. Write
off all other music as vapid and deleterious to one's
spiritual well-being. Desperate measures for desperate times.
I hate the beatles because there was such a hallelujah when the Sgt. Pepper lp came out on CD. Are
people's lives really so meaningless that this could be
such a crucial event? Or was it just record company
and media manipulation resulting in mass hallucination? I know I instantly scurried out and purchased six
copies; one for myself and five to hand out to spiritually lacking acquaintances.
What's the old tasteless joke? What will it take for
a beatles reunion? Three more bullets. Ouch! Thanks
a lot, you're a fantastic crowd, but seriously folks, it's
a toss up for which remaining beatle I dislike the most.
TO
If they just lived quietly on their respective estates
there would be no problem. But both Paul and George
insist on putting out more muzak. Ringo would be
OK but he did that wine cooler commercial and the
movie "Caveman". And then there's his claim that he
is one of the top drummers. It's unclear as to whether
he meant in the world, or in the room at the time.
The most serious reason I hate the beatles is the
Manson factor. Sure, the beatles were harmless
enough. But what inspired Charles Manson to embark upon his rampage of blood and mayhem? He
picked up messsages from the White Album. Specifically important were "Piggies" and "Ilcltcr Skelter"
("Evil lurks in cracks and holes and lives in peoples'
minds," - The Poppy Family). The beatles: harmless
or intrinsically evil? Recently, failed Gerald Ford
assassin and Manson Family member Squeaky
Fromme escaped from prison. Did she head for a 7-
11 or the nearest Nuffy's? No, she was apprehended
whilst attempting to shoplift a copy of the beatles'
"Rubber Soul". Enough said.
Also, the beatles are responsible for the outrageous fame and fortune of U2. Think about it. People
are always looking for 'the next beades'. In other
words, they want a band they can elevate to god-like
status. U2isit. Four wholesome, moral guys. Bono
is John; the Edge is Paul; Adam is George; and Larry
is Ringo. Sorry, Larry. The popularity of U2 would
be unthinkable if notforthe earliermassive success of
the beatles. The beatles merchandising onlsaught
was also the precedent for such recent merchandising
phenomenons as Star Wars, Mr. T, The Smurfs and
every outrageously successful post-beatles pop and
rock act.
Actually, I wouldn't really care about the beatles
if I wasn't suffering from sensory overload. It started
with Beatlemania, the play (talk about religious traditions). In addition, commerical radio has 'Beatle
breaks', 'Rare Beade tracks', 'BeaUe trivia', 'all
Beade weekends' etc etc ad nauseum. There was
even an all beatles station. Furthermore, beades tunes
are forever being used in movies and (blasphemy!)
commercials. And now we will be inflicted with a TV
series in which each episode is based upon a beades
song.
Is any band, any artist, any god worth all this? It
must be some kind of Commie plot to weaken the
minds of North Americans. Four musicians have
been elevated to a deistic level to be worshipped as
some kind of romanticized ideal of the past. Come on.
No matter how messed up the present is, it can't help
to live in the past.
Let the beades die so I can stop hating them. I
don't enjoy being a hate-filled man.
Kevin Smith
M
tffc<Mf **v r^\ You do realize, don't you, that nine
times out of ten they are out to get
you. Those seemingly coincidental
misfortunes? They were planned. I
know 'cause I know who did it to you and I'm
not telling. Remember when you thought your
friends were saying things about you behind
you back? Nasty things that made you mad?
But you couldn't confront them because you
weren't sure? Guess what? They're still
talking and the talk is nastier than before.
When you hear people laughing do
you think they are laughing at you? In most
cases they are. When you stop some guy on the
street to ask for directions do you ever wonder
why he gets that funny look on his face? It's
because he thinks you're a dork but he's too
nice a guy to tell you so.
You know those lumps you feel in
your body every once in a while? It's because
of cancer or a brain tumor or worse. Don't
think it isn't because you'd only be lying to
yourself. And don't bother telling anyone else
about your problems because no one cares.
You're all alone on this one, Bub. In fact
you've been all alone all your life. It's just that
you haven't noticed before.
You've got a right to be paranoid.
You should be. You're a crashing bore at
parties. You say dumber things than you can
possibly imagine when you're stoned. I know,
'cause all your friends keep talking about it.
Yep, they're still talking. Hey, you know who
likes you? NOBODY! The only reason you've
still got a job is because your boss takes pity on
you. He thinks your work is pathetic but he
pays you anyway, because he knows if he fired
you, your fragile ego would crack and you'd
die, and he doesn't want that on his conscience.
Oh yeah, don't kid yourself.
Everybody notices you as you avoid their gaze
on the sidewalk, and bury your face in the
newspaper on the bus. And you know what
else? They talk too! Everyone knows the truth
about you.
Aw, don't take it so hard, I'm just
kidding! HA HA HA HA HA!
Marky St. George
SPECIAL COUPON OLYMPICS
at COLLECTOR'S R.P.M.
498 Seymour St., Vancouver, B.C. V6B 3H1
All coupons and any reasonable or unreasonable facsimile worth
$2.00 off at Collectors R.P.M. Gas coupons, food coupons, dog
food coupons, Olympic coupons, restaurant coupons, make-your-
own coupons, old jeans, old B & W T.V.s, old toys, old Edsels, old
cracked 78 s, old report cards, old lottery tickets, old parking stubs,
old bus transfers, junk mail, junk mail samples. Limit one per person, per day with minimum purchase of $10.00. Expires March 31,
1988.
685-8841
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Could it be the sound of a testimonial dinner   gone ^~/X    v- .
awry, a Jack Lord inspired roast with a brutaly skew^*   /&* 0s
ered pop culture as the main course? In the midsuai     s ^3t^C
a thousand stomach ulcers, the awkward embrace   / ^>) jf
of fist and face ensures that the video console is taken
hostage. Cudery has no choice but to cool its heels,
and soon you're forced to gorge instead on a sumptuous visual feast, the one where a clean-shaven young
man in a natty housecoat rallies from wasting the
evening in bed, and heads out cruisin'. Within seconds he's guiding a sporty import along coasdine that
could make Monterrey blush. Obviously, thi? can't
continue.
Sure enough, the music grows colder. The smug
serenity of the driver sets the gleeful cackle of the
projectionist off perfecdy, and some Utile brat has
pulled the foreshadow alarm that's ringing off the
walls of your brain. Your date begins to holler, primly
at first, "Turn back! Turn back!" No such luck.
Monterrey has become Managua, and the one-man
tribute to Bond is on the turnpike to Hades. When he's
clocked at Daytona pace approaching the army
checkpoint, he's in trouble. When he greets the
arresting officer whde in cognac and slippers, he feels
poorly. When it's discovered that the automobile
elongs to his next-door neighbour, he definitely regrets that he has but one life to give for his country.
An unsatisfying, unseasonal stab at "bumper-skiing"
on the road to Soochow pretty much guarantees that
it's a time for words, not action, thank you. Even
sweating is painful.
In the on-deck circle, an explanation. The lights
dim obligingly, and the room quiets. Summoning up
the ghosts of Resnais, Godard, Bergman, he demands
his captors refill his glass, then turns to address the
camera. Gravely, now...
"When asked if his music was about chaos', Bob
Dylan replied: 7 accept chaos. Does chaos accept
me?' Do you believe, truly believe, gentlemen, that
cliaos has accepted you, and if so, just what are you
going to do to show your goddamn appreciation?"
As a voice offscreen informs him that the house is
lacking in cognac but a dandy Mouton-Rothschilds
1880 is avadable, a hand covers the lens and the film
is over. Mystified by rewind, the video terrorists
decide to lounge around near the back of the hall.
AND THEN...
A FUNNY THING HAPPENED!!!!
As if they have finally, irrevocably, been set free, \
the long-suffering local music community rises to its *
feet and begins to chatter loudly.   The aisle to the  i
podium resembles a guillotine gangplank as many of   |
Vancouver's very finest struggle with that mellLQu-   |
ous manifesto and what it means to time. And in that
struggle there's a sense of discovery, of, oh, elation.
Words like "watershed" and "epiphany" manage to
squeeze in at the head table.
"It's as if we're the good guys again!!" shouts
John Ruskin, caught up in the moment.
"Good guys don't always wear white, John," you
shoot back bitterly. Hopefully you weren't referring
to his mail-order leisure suit, were you?
The dramamine soothes, the evening blurs.
Monday morning finds you exchanging pleasantries
with the nice fellow in Returns at Classy Formal
Wear. With a knowing glance, he empt ics the pockets
of your tux and hands back two items: the Treasure
Chest of Sexy Surprises and a souvenir napkin that's
home to a panicked scrawl. You blush (it's a formality around here) and leave, squinting at the napkin,
smudges and all:
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'*" -f| &  • * ?
trffgpRjNi
\i-oN%*Too
$^£
To
PBt
'0lSAQRB
"... Dylan ... ^accept chaos'.. .Do you believe
chaos has accepted you . . \show^your goddai
appreciation!"^ \  \\\\ VV
What a horrible memory! You rush home and*
dash off a reply, hoping against hope you haven't
missed the March Discorder's deadline.
Michael Dezell
NAIVETE IS BLISS
,S IT ANOTHER RED HERRING?
JjNo. Why?
FQThe Four Ones
YV.
- pull this out - remove all staples -pull this out - remove
\ -1 ' '   *   "
staples - pull this out - remove all staples -pull this out - 10% Off
any   purchase
L ^ J
688 9SSS
tm    1143  Granville   ~
TERM PAPER BLUES?
Term Paper
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Fri., Mar. 4 - Sun., Mar. 6
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Coming Soon...
• STRAIGHT TO HELL
• WALKER • THE FUNERAL • DARK EYES
• NIGHT ZOO • SLAMDANCE •NOTORIOUS
• LAST YEAR AT MARIONBAD remove all staples - pull this out - remove all staples -pull this out - remove all staples - pull this out - remove all staples -pull this out - remove all staples - pull this out - remove all staples -pull this o
ar /umeaa,
I would like to add a point to last month's
rchy issue. The decentralized, libertarian
principles of anarchy appear admirable in
theory. But, whde fusing the classes and
collapsing the corrupt power structure wh;
our government so haplessly represents,
another more extreme form of governmer
k,..„,.u—:—    /*—_#.
auaicuy issue,   ine aecen
principles of anarchy appe
theory. But, whde fusing the	
collapsing the corrupt power structure which
our government so haplessly represents,
another more extreme form of government
| would arise. Our basic capitalist pattern would
I emeree from th« m««lU, k*ncrupt swine who   W*%£** m bY^**™' s<> ]££
don >, ?roP you nL -. an egg-
another more extreme form of government        V that yc
I would arise. Our basic capitalist pattern would V boy, Qr
emerge from the morally ban erupt swine who   m°ryou
I have power, guns, security, material independ- ■
ence and influence over the miserable wretches ■ We'i/q» ~~*"UKe an cgg.
I who work for them. Even the sometimes I <k>n 't dro    ^°u Hke a bad h
10s of anarchv wmilHn'• rhano*. ™ J fc—   -   P. you wm .        nabit, and if „
«• earth    4        ** iuct,„ ^°"
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^ ence and influence over the miserable wretches I We 7/ ^m an e£g
■ who work for them. Even the sometimes I dbn 't ^    " ^°u Ji/ce a 5arf ,
I desirable chaos of anarchy wouldn't change ouqface ofth    ^°U W*U °e th » and jfv
I modem survival instincts. Survival is a natural again, y ^a/th# 4^ e luckiest man
I phenomenon and nature always takes the path Mother y e in pain Wl^ never w;
I of least resistance. ^ an 4*^°°' e** ^ fae^^ *>r jl* m
Ll D. Roblns.on ^^even ^ sneaks Up £f <** out, sf"r
rv. e sOOn ,V -
BABOON GIRL
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MARRIES m
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16on«^UB'i"n.e^H''Ud;e- Woo   ^l
Wu,o«.   '  ^evv.//^,, Wo/7ya/v>„.   e'  ^ere
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Hfos if murder? <*EEK
fAVEfcNA
"Lamb on a Spit our Specialty
DAILY SPECIALS FOR
LUNCH AND DINNER
Try our unique menu, including
•Tzanziki, Melitzano, Houmos
•Spanakotiropita, Saganaki, Lukaniko
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•And much, much more!
•Plus... pizza
• Pasta also a specialty
Mon. - Sat. 11 a.m. to 1 a.m.
Sunday to Midnight
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OOTHINC
the underground
IB
II
I
II
THE
WEB
8732
«        ^V
710 robson 1
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ToucHeo nerve...
nrjGt THENWHYDO WE CONTlhUALU^
DAPPLE WTHTHE UNKNOWN? WHY DO
WE ASKTHESE Bfi Q14ESTDNS? I
MEAN V«E ARE ADfe. THERE IS AN
ESSENCE THAT COURSES THROUGH 143.
A LITE FORCE. A SPIRJT.WE CAN THINK,
ME A*£ CONCDUS Of BEING CONCDUS
THERE MUST BE SOME COSMIC 6,LUE
THAT BINDS ALL OF OUR MOLECULES
AND BREATHES LITE INTO THEM,    j
• c •
^IMMORTALITY ACTUALLY EXISTS ITS\
' IN THE ATOMS AW MOLECULES WICH
COMiPOSEUS THESE PARTICLES
HA& BEEN CIRCULATING AND RECKLING
THROUGHOUT THE UtWERSE FORALL OT |
ETERNITY AAEANAHILZ OURMEAQER
BUT PRECIOUS LlflES ARE MERELY
FLEETING BIOCHEMICAL MANfFESTA-
TDNS OF THOSE ETERNAL ELEAAENTS.
N0W0NDEA0URCONSCIENCESARE SO
PLACED,  THELREXLSTENCES ARE SOA
FINITE. THEIR ESSENCES INFINTE.    *
THIS I3NT TO DENY CHAOS JUSTTA&
ONE OF THESE MOLECULES FOCUS
DOMJONfTTO A MICROSCOPIC L&EL.
YOULL SEE THAT IT ACTS INDMDUALLY
IN A TOTALLY' NONDETERMIN/STJC.
STOCHASTIC MAN^R IT HAS NO
ORDER NO PURPOSE. F/ERU'PARTICLE'S
MOTION AMD THE WW IT RELATES TO
OTHERPARTICLES IN SPACE IS
COMPLETELY RANDOM.  CHAOTIC.
UNPREDICTABLE.  THE UNDERLYING
MICROSCOPIC TRUTH IS SIMPLE AND
i PURE.  ttf ARE COMPOSED OF DISAR-
* RAY
• c •
§ o»
*4f*>
y
DOES LIFE HA/E PURPOSE? MEAMN?
DO WE SIMPLY Ufc AND BREAim FOR
A SHORT TIME SO THAT THESE
IMMORTAL MOLECULES THAT
COMPRISE US CAN TEMPORARILY QAIN
MOBILITY AND THUS CYCLE AROUND
MORE EASILY. COULD THIS BE AU
THERE IS70 07
?*&i
BUTWIERE FROM ALL THIS RANDOMNESS BREATHES THE ORDER THAT
SUSTAINS US MACROSCOPJCALLV AT
WHICH POINT DOES THIS MJCROSCOPIC
CHAOS FUSE SUDDENLY MO SOMETHING COMPARAWELY HUfc APPARENTLY ORDERED. HOW IS IT THAT TRILLIONS OF THESE CHAOTIC LOANERS
CAW COME TOQETHER/NTHE GUISE OF
A SINGLE. /INTERDEPENDENT LVING
BREATHING ENTITV WHEN DOES IT
BECOME YOU? WHEN DOES IT BECOME
ME/ TM LOOKING TOR ANSAERS
•c • CAME3IE ST.
687-04B8 it
AFTER THt FA ^   1 J     n„vs W* f *w*f*-J^—r^M
w/5oe*Ti l^j^_—.         <\ i \    chp-^t - Wuws *"-£;£   ■
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WAYNE HORVITZ
This New Generation
Electra Musician
Wayne Horvitz' new LP features many artists
from the New York 'avant-garde' circles, among
them Elliot^ Sharp, Doug Wieselman and Bill
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such a tight creative circle in a city as frenetic as     end to the latter  Ye? rh   r ' ^^ RIGHT'" U
New Yorli   Like his contemporaries, Horvitz ™™ked at 45 rpm OJ1 ^T ^ 's Prayer h back
displays ai-flavorful blending of styles, ranging      m£ Cheap Trick tr;^ lVe'mn Salvation <mm~     r>,   - ~<<*r~ . -«v t,       -/«„     - va      -//t.
from jazz-io coom^O to nfore straightforward ^^.K^l^ * cadeago. ,£*££   >^^ ^** >*>»*!*•
electronicmusic. Ultimately, his album stands as and *e suspec[   *      nolProduced,notm,,M   A/. ,'M'o0,;s'are> ?**,,, **<*,   ""*"' ■ '
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uiban scene. It's interesting, too.
Kirby HII J8 Hohm
ANNIE ANXIETY BANDEZ
jackamo
"here comes funky jackamo and the leper brigade,
suddenly..." Kind of like the Banshees' songs
Obsession, Cocoon, and Circle from the album A
Kiss in the Dreamhouse. But no grease-paint
vocals from Siouxsie, thank you. Ms. A A Bandez
sounds like a cross beteween the girl form twenty
l minute  workout,  Carma  Miranda,   and  Patti
Smith. Okay — one more misleading
comparison: The End, by the Doors. Album
highlighted by the track One Mourning ( for
Marvin Gaye).
JB Hohm
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A 73
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rav5 HUMAN BEINGS AND OI^RRELA"
TDNSHIPWfTH LITE WH CHAOS. WITH
MHSIERtf) AND WITH THE ESSENTIAL
QUEST TORPURPOSE IT INSPIRES. MAY\
BE VERY MUCH UKE OUR INDMDUAL    '
MOLECULES THE MOLECULE'S CfOAL
AS ITATTEMPTSTO INTERACTWTHITS]
EXTERNAL EN/IRONMENT IS TO BE
INCORPORATED INTO SOAAE KIND OF
HUGE. INDEFINEABLE SYSTEM. TO FIND
SOME SORT OF USEFUL PLACE. TO
MO/E BEYOND CHAOS OF COURSE* IT
CANT COMPREHEND THE BROAD
i SCHEME-. JUST HOW MINUTE A PIECE
i IN THE PUZZLE OF LIFE T REALLY ISJ
m
I
11
rai
jVj
THIS POSSIBILITY IS SO OAAINDUS IT
HURTS THAT BREATH YOU JUSTTOOK?
fTmS PLANNED LONG AGO AND FAR
AMW. PF&GRAAAAAED BY GOD'S
UNSEEN HAND.  SO WAS THIS
SENTENCE. AND YOURREADING IT. AND
THIS ONE. TOO. ANDIFYOUTHINKTHIS
IS ALL A LOAD OF PRETENTOUS TRIPE.
AND YOURE AAOfcD TO TRASH THE
WOLE MAGAZNE. WELL DONTqO
TH/NtfNG ITS AN ORDINAL ACTION
THINKOFIT. FIfc BILLON PEOPLE. FME
B/LL/ON SEPARATE PERSONALITIES
LIFE HISTORIES THE BILLION SEPARATE ATTITUDES COULD IT AU BE
PRE-ORDAINED. ALREADYLAAA^NED.
ALREADYWWTEN? DONTTHINKTOO
HARD. TTWLL HURT: AALCH AS IT
WOULD HURT ONE OF OURAFOREAAEN-
TIONED MICRCOSCOPIC MOLECULES
WERE IT TO TRYTO IMAGINE (ASSUMING IT COULD IMAGINE) rTS PLACE IN
THE ORDERED ORGANISM THAT IS A
LMNG BREATHING HUMAN BEING
BlERY MOLECULE THAT COMPRISES
US BEHAVES IN AN APPARENTLY
IWMDUAL MANNER SOAAEMAT
ANALAGOUS TO THE UAYFfrE BILLON
SOULS SOAAEHOMINTERACT TOOTHER
ARE WE GOING IN CIRCLES? H.'l-U'.Vi1iHmri4--W/-^
ORIGINAL
UN-CUT
VERSIONS!
JOE
DALLESANDRO
DIRECTED BY
PAUL
MORRISSEY
STARTS FRIDAY - - MARCH 18TH
One Week Only!
MIDNITE
FRIDAY & SATURDAY
ALL AGES ADMITTED
/.        /*% DOWNTOWN
idio (cinema   681-1732
919 GRANVILLE at SMITHE
MIDNIGHT
ADMISSION $5.50
JFRlllSAT]
AMS      „
CENTS*
LOWER CONCOURSE
• '•=: .*.   A i
W&w-
MAIN CONCOURSE
UBC SUB Arcades
all ages welcome
?hut\
with Super Glim.
Itomado might spread as it rake^mr   g     4     .
• trademark; «**?"**££?% universes'
-ore ^"fhealy Sonswhieh go on
fuU of deep ^ heavy qu B
SrA     *e defSleone - ■ doesn't aecept
-—-C*1*08 A «.        ,rtV,pn,  Phvsically, mentauy
-^tuvWrrtaS
psychically. We reta      * hand
and ^VOr°^s^B^ good
K* pears to encompass pretty m
-fand bad, ^-^^K or Sam?'
(why not call it God • or » ^   men j
What's wrong with EmO^ £ accep
where the air is mostly^breaAaWc.
lhaVeTbaitkU^iUknovvhowtolaugh. I'm
physically (Ithink). Isuuk aiotmore'
not disfigured. My P*™15^ ™ gol lots of
-often than ihey beat «^X f^f^. Chaos
accordingly. And what s fun? W* sQme
L when you were a ^*£V.d Jmcday
lasshole put ., £%£*££ L couldn't
,have to *°* fa^hvmg had ^ g.ye
'possibly be fun. What was , Nodoubt,it
I order to aeeept ^snevMeaUty^ ^^ a
I was some kind of W***.      d  secuIity
fusion  of  adventure   W^£ lechnology
(safety).    Imagine a fuwiejne
robotics, ejtoneua «)J*^,. ^
more of society s didand ugl< lves freed
.more and more peoplejiino  »
frommereaiityo^oAadayhves^o  J^ ^
W   toM~»" *™11 this good oldr
wondering what to do' *«" h      on ^u
brealhC-     Consider chaos the inspiration^What
I was the question again?   '* * ;• i; <
*BUI Mullan   *
v.
Despair no more
L~>X' •fM
"*     r
/ ^^
^ H'aspl SS *>'ay   lanol«er0?P°*anyof
/
ith    * U c*U th     * ^n lnnd*ouldn     She
d**n?? frCf *»ch lCs; AfcS?6^ ou, * *fci,
,^'to
J>Ugk
W&tLi
killerbbOi
Meanwhile, the blood just kept gurgling and
gurgling, pooling up in the downstairs and rapidly
filling up the whole level. Pretty soon it was ankle
deep. Then knee deep. Dad wanted to open the
doors and let it spill outside, bi   W^8f suddenly
lucid, stopped him at the last moment. "I will not
■Tyou do nHBjoyd. What^^^w the neighbours
Kink?" - - whUi was a very gOT^oint. Just
piagine the embarrassing situation that we'd be in,
laving to explain to our friends and neighbours
lp what thousands of gallons of fresh blood were
Lj doing spilling out of our house, i
I       Pretty soon the blood was ump our shoulders
(over William's head, but he ^Standing on a
chair), so we all retreated bad^ptairs. Mom
started praying and Paula came out of her room to
join her. William and I started playing backgammon to take our minds off the situation; and Dad
just kept on calling plumbers.
Fifteen minutes later, it was ankle deep
upstairs, and Aowing no signs of abating. Then it
was knee de^Lhen waist deep. William had to
stand on a cflLgain. Paula started to cry. She
had a dale wURary Denbury that night and would
obviously have to miss it if she was drowned in
blood. Dad took her aside, put his aim around her
and said, "Calamity is the perfect glass wherein we
truly see and know ourselves." These words of
wisdom calmed her down a bit, but they did
nothing to stop the blood which was now armpit
deep.
I was just starting to lose hope myself when the
phone rang. Figuring it was one of the plumbers
returning Dad's call, I grabbed the phone. "Hello,
I said.
"Is this the Jones?" a strange, sanehow distant
voice asked. JA
"Yes," I said and then there fc^Hbd a long
ominous silence. "Hello?" I said.
"You're up to your armpits in blood. How doesj
[that make you feel?"
'      "Not very good," I replied.
"Lucky it's just a metaphor," the voice
^^^j^l^l^foecutde^gffiMMjj
was a loud sucking sound, and a blinding
of pure white light, and all the blood was
. Every last bit of it. Poof. Just like that.
Even Mom's towels were no longer stained. Well,
needless to say, we all heaved a great sigh of
relief.
"Fucking wild.'" William exclaimed as he
jumped off his chair.
"Watch your language, young man!" Dad
'scolded, but I could tell he was too relieved to be
|angry.
As we had already missed most of first class,
we kids took the rest of the morning off school.
Dad stayed home from work, too, and Mom
cancelled her hair appointment. For the first time
in a long time, we sat together as a family and just
talked. Funny how it takes extreme circumstances
'to really bring people together. To this day, we
still can't figure it out. It's like it never happened
except all five of us remember it. Can five people
hallucinate exactly the same thing? I doubt it. But
what other explanation is there? And what did th;
guy mean by us being lucky it was just a
letaphor?
gone.
%  '««   1
s STEPHEN
FEARING
AND FRIENDS
in concert
to launch Stephen's new album
"out to sea"
just released on Aural Tradition!
Look for it at Black Swan, Highlife and other discriminating outlets
FRIDAY    830  PM       $8
MARCH 14
VANCOUVER EAST CULTURAL CENTRE
Tickets available at Black Swan Records, Highlife
Records, The Vancouver Folk Music Festival Office
Reservations 254-9578	
11   wS   Uke   a
i the beach
full-throttle
*X«W*.aBlA:'Bfc]WW)
" ,TH(/£rWn1?M
'.   3)ooPSOper5-. 8:00 pm ,%^^ '
Sr...(<v,'..IV3T„ *Oi,Tr.ck .re-"..
CITR , OWyl'Y It'^5 i «>J 4m r'J; remove all staples -pull this out - remove all staples - pull this out -
. 1 live blindly from day
Hove chaos, ^^^c orronndings will.
happy-      _ov '^
Paula (CITRK
emove all staples -pull this out - remove all staples - pull this out - remove all staples -pull this out - remove all staples - pull this out -
Qiaos neither accepts nor refuses  Tofv
chaos or not is up Jo the indivdual   £* *" °f
chaotic as I'd like to fv       1VWual- 'am not as
is to embody chaos        " *appreciation <* chaos
Justin Van Gogh (Stick Figures)
I only accept chaos that is
is certain to
Don Chow
accept me.
organized. Such chaos
-<aaS2fr
"«*/*«2£**a? •*•
•^P/ft,
Hou*^8 to sar,rrKa°s is th
^i?***Z * 5/»'< .        e of a V
P*2V;
^^^r*^
*'*C
It
^i
^ ?/•?£&*
Pretty
°W7l
soon
1 nm
*b
Versi{
him
Off
> but
«*en
rawk
a TeVe
1 ^t/e
and
^°tt'Seven ^^Cn  ^ Sev^7' --
Pftone^     ^aosity
V;_
todi
Q,,
frfr*
aotic
J^W**
3*to*C£?*P«
some
°fder
not
yet ,
Free/,J^0n>
IQ,,
km
5* *^fre7SlVe
?*hn<
i-- ^gency, \T^J^siv»^ fem snad*for
lei ATs-&t1%***b1&* CS
4/j(
10    U^S^-
«•«. 15 femes worth  JZ'f'a"f01nsmrnysofa
uaus; rm not sure. But I do know
I don't know what to do with 15 Belgian francs.
I'm actually all for chaos if it doesn't interfere
with my postal **?«»»*•*
""Jmv Postal deliver. —
interfere
■chaos is a subjective measuring of a cross-section
"of entropy, entropy is meant to be surfed on. the|
^multidimensional thinker surfs on entropy and|
^enjoys the ride.j^ ^mm^g^glHmump*—
gblackhumour j
Answer A: Gee, Mike, I really think answering
this question might harm my repuatation, I mean
what about all those kids who look up to me?
Answer B:  Sure, Chaos has accepted me.  Be-
1 cause concepts essential to the maintaining of]
Order, like objective truth, have been progressively disintegrating under the weight of human
nature, nearly all we do as humans increases the,
totality of chaos. Because I choose NOT to place]
a large calibre handgun between my teeth, point itj
at an angle greater than 36 (after all, I don't wantj
to explode my nose) then blow half of my brain
out the top of my fucking head, I guess I'm-"***!*
choosing to participate in the chaos. Because I'm «K^g|
participating, I'm accepted, Chaos having won     •*•»-
over will. And there is really no appreciation nec-E^ JL
essary, because nothing has been gained.   Besides, I think there are enough people out there,
playing golf already. I mean, the game of golf is If '• ^     g^
known to be man's greatest gift to chaos. LA *      f
Jason Grant (Gangland Artists)
f -8 t* S § g *
SI*
flliESili!
1|| jl |-i
If**!
t*
1"
& S ^ 3 2 3 » -d
.9
"III.
■S 9 .9 § IS .9 2 JS x .a
*;? BI«
0*
111 BUCK THE SYSTEM
PAY ONLY ONE DOLLAR!
with the presentation of this coupon. Limit one coupon per
customer, to see HILARIOUS IMPROVISATIONAL
comedy with the
THEATRESPORTS GANG!
Offer good Wednesday and Thursday only 8:00 pm
Regular admission $6. Phone 688-7013
Offer expires March 31, 1988
Back Alley Theatre, 751 Thurlow
9I55U9
m   m ONE
DOLLAR
JH'AJPA
Each passing
moment aaore
frightening and
grotesque...
4l II < I
■M    I  * * TtlEATEE * *
Dear Airhead:
In these modern times when days
get long and people get more confused day by
day, we all turn to God for help. Many of us
have been faithful and dedicated since we can
remember, but what happens when you come
out into reality and see where we are going. I
hope you will publish this in your next issue
and let them know:
I smashed my mirror
And ripped my tie
Held back the tears
And listened to the lies.
And she said why all the tears
When God's people know its near
But we will never know
Until they start the show.
Come and take a stand with me
I'm just like you I want to be free
We will go where no one's been
A place in this world I have never seen.
And she said there's no need for fear
Soon he will be here.
And he will know
When to start the show.
A 23 SECOND INTERVIEW WITH
MURRAY OF GUADALCANAL DIARY
Have you ever heard of Jello Biafra?
Yes, but I'm not interested in using music as
a political tool.
roll group, a WINTER OF HATE
remove all staples - pull this out -
DEAR  DISCORDER:
c all staples -pull this out - remove all staples - pull this out - remove all staples -pull this out -
I  used  to  stick  up   for your mag when  anyone would  say  it
was   just  drivel,   but   I'm afraid  I  must  now  join   their  swelling   ranks.   These   "theme"   issues   are   a  real  DRAG!   Topics   like
sex,   drugs,   and  religion  are   fairly well-travelled  territories
and have  been examined more  creatively  and thoughtfully by
just   about everyone.   By  flinging  "heavy"  quotes   around  and
dropping words   like   "dogmatic"   and   "hypotactic"(?),   the mock-
earnest  scribbling  becomes  quite  laughable.
It  is  also  apparent  that in  the process  of  acquiring a new
editor,   Discorder has  managed to  lose most  of  it's  decent
writers   and artists.   From  reading  Mr.   Mullan's   recent  columns,
I  assume he  has had  a lobotomy;  his  tediously thick-witted
dissertations  go  around in  circles   and then  lead back  to his
own personal,   boring experiences.   It's  obvious   that   "Armchair
Eye"  was  more  his   speed,   not editing.
Where   Discorder once  used to be   fresh,   funny,   and  often  a
little  rude,   it  is  now painfully  self-centered  and ineffectually striving to be  up-to-the-minute hip.   It's  not even worth
bending  down   to pick  it  up   anymore.   Oh well...
SINCERELY
Airhead,
I am shocked, appalled...nay, disgusted by
the defamation rampant in the pages of your
magazine. In your Jan.'88 issue there was a list
of the soaps of the stars in which I was
accredited as a user of Pears soap. This is
blatantly untrue. The compiler of the list,
Nadine the Human Napkin or toilet paper or
whatever has misrepresented me (as well as
misspelled my name!) in the worst way. I do
not use Pears. I ceased to purchase it when I
discovered the company tested their products
on animals, as with many larger and more
familiar multi-national corporations. I
immediately switched soap. I now use Kappus,
a German brand, which I have been assured is
not tested on animals (only young children).
Yours Antibacterially,
Blair Petrle (Ultramarine)
RUSTY  THE   ROOSTER
e all staples - pull this out - remove all staples -pull this out -
Dear Airhead,
Some random thoughts on leafing through a
stack of Discorders picked up during a recent
sojourn in Vancouver:
- the ink still runs all over fingers, clothes,
furniture etc - Bill Mullan got it right in the
January issue: Led Zep was (is?) a great band;
Sign O' The Times is a great record - if only
Prince hadn't released so much junk between
1999 and Sign O' The times - Tackhead/Mark
Stewart was a good show all right, but better
than that it was L.O.U.D. - drugs, sex and
religion are actually pretty boring to read about
-1 mean, they're more like participatory sports
- artwork in the recent issues is improved - the
only Ultra-God who can bring a NEW AGE of
TOTAL CONVENIENCE is 7-11: "Not just a
store, a way of life" (Henry Rollins) -1 guess
every local band that could be interviewed or
featured has been, hence the shortage of music
coverage in recent months - Vancouver appears
to get first run European movies even before
those of us here in the Maggie Kingdom - how
come no mention of Snakefinger's death in the
January issue? It was the biggest musical
downer of the year - what the fuck does U2
stand for anyway, and why does anybody give a
shit about them? I never liked U2, and I'm
damned proud of it - no fair limiting record
reviews to 50 words: anybody can spew for 50
words. It takes real bile to spew for 300 words -
how come no mention of the Smiths' breakup
in the January issue? It was the musical upper
of the year -1 wonder if Nettwerk still has an
APB out for me, not that I care.
Keep on churning it out.
Yours in exile
lain B.
Cambridge,
England. IN THIS ISSUE
m;
Actually, it's kind of difficult
this month. The dead are in turmoil, you
see, and they're shaking up the seasons.\J
Suffice it to say, it's really made a
mockery of our attempts to keep anything in
ORDER. Please read carefully and, if
necessary, REMOVE ALL STAPLES!!!!
CONCERT PRESENTATIONS
At press time, only two bills have
been lined up for March. The first (Monday,
the 7th) Features Alpha Blondy and the Solar
System, an eleven piece band from Africa's
Ivory Coast. Expect an exotic evening at
the Commodore. The second features 54-40
and special guests The Pursuit of Happiness
for two Rockin' evenings at Graceland
(Wednesday the ninth, and Thursday, the
Tenth).
Otherwise, beware the Jabberwock
and may the waning days of this winter of
hate treat you just peachy.
MEANWHILE. OUR HERO-ARNOU?-
rS TAKEN Ae&VCK BV THE DAY'S
HEADLINE...
disorder
That Magazine from CITR Radio 102
March 1988 • Vol. VI Issue
EDITOR
Bill Mullan
WRITERS
Michael Grigg,
Michael Dezell, Kevin Smith,
Mark Quail & lots of other people
ART DIRECTOR
Matt Richards
ILLUSTRATORS
Julia Schenck, William Thompson,
Anthony Roberts
COVER
William Thompson
PRODUCTION MANAGER
Michael Grigg
LAYOUT
Julia Schenck, Michael Grigg,
Matt Richards, Bill Mulan,
Anthony Roberts, Lucy Crowther
TYPESETTING
Sheila Haldane, Chris Buchannen,
Michael Dezell, Danuta Debowskl,
Barbara Wilson, Peter Francis,
Alex Johnson, Peter Lankester,
ACCOUNTS MANAGER
Randy Iwata
ADVERTISING MANAGER
Lucy Crowther
DISTRIBUTION
David Newell
PUBLISHER
Harry Hertscheg
Discorder Magazine, c/o CITR - UBC Radio
6138 SUB Blvd., Vancouver, B.C. Canada
V6T 2A5 S(604) 228-3017
Discorder is That Magazine from CITR Radio
102 and is published monthly by the Student Radio
Society of the University of British Columbia, although it winds up being printed deep from within
Surrey, Canada.
Discorder Magazine prints what it wants to, but
pledges to put the CITR On The Dial program schedule and SpinList record chart in every issue. Discorder also vows to circulate 17,500 copies by the
first of each month. Subscriptions are encouraged.
Twelve issues: $12 in Canada, $12(US) in the
States, $18 elsewhere. Make money orders or
certified cheques payable to CITR Publications'.
CITR Radio 102 broadcasts a 49-watt stereo signal throughout the Vancouver area at 101.9 FM.,
But for best reception, hook up to the FM cable network. CITR is at 101.9 cable FM on Rogers (Lower
Mainland) and Shaw (North Shore) cable systems,
but is still at 100.1 on Rogers (Fraser Valley).
Inquiries about CITR, Discorder or the Mobile
Sound System can be directed to station manager
Harry Hertscheg at 228-3017, between 10 am - 4
pm, Monday to Friday. If you want to talk to the
deejay, call 228-2487 or 228-CITR.
;movc all staples - pull this out - remove all staples -pull this out - remove all staples - pull this out - remove all staples -pull this out - remove all staples - pull this out - ~!
.'*
AGAINST 7
THE
GRAIN
from U.K.   (4
CI. I VE GREGSON
CHRISTINE
COLLISTER
THE       21
PAINKILLERS
from S.F.'
ESKIMO
28
'fotfAYS
f^OA
a
£*£A
22
6*^/We
Pt'
29
%^\
WfJNESOAV        TMURSOAY FRILAY
SNEEZY    'WATERS
Strathcona Benefit '
with WYKHAM PORTEOUS
& Guests
THE
SCRAMBLERS
iG
10 11 12
from Toronto THE RHEOSTATICS
NETTWERK     17
AFTER
ALL
FLAMENCO
23
HERESY
24
"FOOLS" 30
Performance
Cabaret
HUMANE       31
DRUM
SOCIETY
I8 I9
Recording Artists
WATERWALK       with   Guests
25
HERALD
26
NIX
open at 7=30
mon-sun
SPECIAL EVENTS
TUESDAY 1, 8, 15, 22, 29
*  Before the Storm, Hen Pals, Waterwalk
MONDAY 7th - Rogue Folk Club presents
(from England) Clive Gregson &
Christine Col lister
* WEDNESDAY 30th - Performance to Benefit
—Fools Society with Humane
Drum Society, Wingnuts & more
I  SUNDAY EVENTS
6th - Stephen Boswell & Natural Elements
20th - Laurie Lewis (fantastic bluegrass #
THE SAVOY NIGHTCLUB     6 POWELL ST.       687-0418 ».. •..-....«
■;t't •*■■
ZjLu
THAT WftGAIlNMlMM CITR FM IPX   MARCH 1389 FREE
m
,\*o
®
*.;•••
* * ••. *. **-
• • • • %*
• <»: V
M*
,oV\oM
KB****
a
p°4
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*>sii
s
o-m-o

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