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Discorder CITR-FM (Radio station : Vancouver, B.C.) Dec 1, 1991

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 APPY-POLY-LOGY TO PR. SEUSS 2ND SKIN
432 HOMER ST     683-7607
CLOTHES, LEATHER REPAIRS, HATS, BELTS, COOL STUFF TfSlI
VEM
22ND,
1363
BROAD
CAST
LIVE
CiTR
101SFM
VEM
22ND
1931
aaoPM
NAL
ROARING 20'S AVANTE-GARDE FETISH THEME
NEW YEAR'S EVE BALL
PROPER OR UNUSUAL ATTIRE REQUIRED
Twilight zotav;
DANCE TILL DAWN
FINGER FOOD - PARTY SUPPLIES - CHAMPAGNE AT 0 HOUR
2 DJS PLUS OUR BODY PAINTED GOGO DANCERS
TICKETS    $9.50      A   D  V  A   N   C   E
GOTHIC
NIGHT
BZZR $1.75
FEAR+L0A1HI
ALTERNATIVI
BZZR BASH $1
TRACKS FROM EUROPE
ANDTHEU.K.
$1.75 HIGHBALLS*
ISHOOTER SHOCK EVERY HOU
DANCE
CAGED
GOGO DANCERS
#7 ALEXANDER STREET
GASTOWN       682-8550 THE BEST IN LIVE
RHYTHM & BLUES
EACH NIGHT
1300 GRANVILLE (AT DRAKE)
!GET IN FREE |
I WITH THIS COUPON ■
|   VALID   8PM   TO   10PM |
I    EXdLUDING SPECIAL EVENTS I
CLUB SODA
10S5 HOMER ST.
Nov. 20-23    B.B.COLEMAN
Nov 25-27   GAIL BOWEN
Nov. 28-30    JIM BYRNES
Dec 2     OLIVER AND THE ELEMENTS
Dec. 3-7     ZYDECO
Dec 9     OLIVER AND THE ELEMENTS
Dec  10-14  EDDIE SHAW
Dec  16   OLIVER AND THE ELEMENTS
Dec  17-21    THE BEL-AIRS
DOmMSSMKLAWSMS:
SATURDAY 3-8 PM / SUNDAY BLUES MARATHON JAM 3PM-MIDNIGHT
JACK LA VIN'S JAMS ARE SPONSORED BY MOTHER'S MUSIC AND THE DRUM SHOP
OPEN EACH NIGHT FROM 9:30 PM TO 1:30 AM OPEN WEEKDAYS FROM 11:30 AM
VAGRANT RECORDS PRESENTS
^n OF THE NliW^
VANCOUVER'S LITTLE
AMSTERDAM
Open Friday and Saturday until 2am
Weekdays until midnight
THURSDAY      1
199er NIGHT UO-
THE BULLDOG
CAFE
510 Nelson at Richards     688-4438 So whai's ihe mailer with you folks'.' Il's been three months and wc haven'i received
one decent Idler lo Airhead! Hither we're doing everything righl or we're doing
somelhing very, very wrong. Perhaps you, ihc concerned reading public, have
forgouen your duty to keep the lines of communication open between a magazine and
its readership. Or perhaps you've just forgollen how much fun il can be lo gel your
own whiny opinions published mDiscorder1. Jusl to help you along, we've compiled
a multiple-choice "Airhead Starter Kit." Just Till in ihe blanks with one of ihe choices
in the column lo the right, stuff il inlo an envelope, lick a slamp, and pop II into ihc
mailbox. C'mon, il's real easy.
QSTUPiD PUMttr-HCDSQ
Dear Airhead,
_ think he/she
ild be caught
1 am writing lo express my (1) over (
ber issue of (3) . Who the heil does (4).
is1 I can't believe lhal  (5)  like  (6)	
 (7) . Al least (8)
By the way, I (9) the piece (10) lhat you
passed off as  (11) . Tell your  (12)  to gel their
 (13) straight before (14) . I've had enough of hearing about (15) ; (16) rule! Why not (17) .?
- Oh yeah, How come (18) ? I hate .(19) !!!
wes urn 1'
Vaca-fion  u/i+k "iH
wife anJ ii Seem. rh<*r
Wt bewne «* melon.
rJqftjrollu, !•<- ConCffnec'
wiB-, fW* vdlid.K-
emi/irrton
A WEU-FUCED CALL TblME MlMlsTf-Y
of 1&r\SfOrZMATlOT\.
As much as wc hate admitting we're wrong, here axDiscorder, we once again
have trod upon pernicious territory. We speak of lasl month's issue (Nov.
1991, issue # 106) in which Redd McJann made mention to a security guard
at the Public Knemy/Anlhrax concert being a "twal." Firstly, I believe
everyone who took offence lo the use of this word has to realize that Redd
McJann is a member of the gender we affectionately call female. Secondly,
because SI IE was reviewing a rap concert SHE felt il appropriate to write on
the crass roots/ghetto level in which rap is synonymous with. Lastly, "twat"
is a derivative of the French word "toit," which means roof and, therefore.
Redd McJann's cause formissing Primus was due to the roof at the pass door.
Now, there was also some concern voiced at the authenticity of the facts on
Flavor Flav and Chuck D. Well, yes indeed, for all you Doubting Thomases,
Flavor Flav was in fact a member of the legendary super-group Parliament.
The Chuck D incident is in fact correct. However, it does not pertain to the
last time they were in Vancouver, as the moral majority read il to be, but lo
the anal retentive border between Windsor and Detroit. Nyah, nyah, nyah.
Raspberries lo all you skeptics.
While we're at it we might as well give credit where credit is due and was so
ignorantly omitted from the last issue. Kudos go oul to June Scudeler for her
piece on Pigface, and graphic credits lo David Chung for the "Colour By
Number Jesus" and the "Elvis Lawn Ornament" in the "How To Get Rich..."
piece. Tanx! [Ed.]
WIN FIVE CDS OF YOUR CHOICE FROM THE SONY CATALOG!
Multiple—choice answers:
b) indignation
c) hurl feelings
d) guilt
(2) a) the Chuck D interview in
b) the "Lunatic Fringe" ad in
c) the "Shindig" column lhal
appeared in
d) spilling coffee on
(3) a) Discorder
b) "lhal magazine from CiTR"
c) your pathetic lillle shitrag
d)AF
(4)
a) this mystery "G" person
b) Paul Brooks/Chris
Buchanan
c) Rory Tait
d) lhat "Nabob" guy
(5)     a) bonehcads who
b)smut
c) a totally awesome band
Win a Peter Himmelman sampler and a chance to win five CDs of your choice
from the Sony Music catalog by faxing in or hand delivering to CiTR the three (6)     a) lo crashother people's
most "Impermanent Things" about campus life that you would most sadly interviews
miss. All entrants will receive a Peter Himmelman sampler LP that includes b) this affront lo humanity
the song "Impermanent Things" and will be entered into the grand prize draw c) 3000 B.C.
for five CDs of your choice from the entire Sony catalog. d) yours truly
Deadline for entries is December 15th, 1991.
ENTER NOW! ENTER OFTEN!
a) without any "Polident"
b) sitting in the hallowed pages
ofDiscorder
c) Playing in a charade such as
"Shindig"
d) hanging out at "Tafs"
a) Il didn'l completely ruin
my afternoon
hate you more.
c) you suck and ihey don't
d) I don'l shop al "Violet
Addiction"
a) loved
d)ale
(10) a)on"IiowtoGclRichOvemigh
b) of shit
c) on Mudhoney
d) of fish
(11) a) a real "Tom Vu" seminar
b)areviewofthePE/Anlhrax
c) journalism
d) deep-fried halibut
(12) a) readers
b)
c)
d) cooks
(13) a) facts
b)teeth
c) thinking caps
d) paper hats
(14) a) they complain
b) brushing
c) mouthing off
d) preparing foodstuffs for
public consumption.
(15) a) fuck-ups who can't uke care
of themselves
b) SUB POP shil
c) bands I've never heard of
d) all this wimpy art-rock
(16) a)CapiulisLs
b) Napalm Death
c) Skinny Puppy
d) The Outrageous Valenlinos
(17) a)doafeatureonAdamSmilh's
economic theories
b) jusl cease publication
c) try doing more drugs
d) bring back "Hell's Kilchen"
(18) a) All my other letters have
never been printed
b) I can never get a dale in this
c) I still can't find CiTR on my
fMdial
d) there's no all-ages shows
anymore
(19) a) censorship
b) using the "Telepersonals"
c) Coast 800
d) watching TV wilh my
(20) a) (YOUR NAME HERE)
b) Former CiTR Member
c) P. Ness
d) Too Young, Too Cool
JUNKFLESH: Vertebrate
Dissection
By Bryce Thm;;
I ley, all I wanna know is, just whal ihc hell
is n? (Yeah, and I write the thing.) "A neal
slory aboul a cool zombie lhal gets lost in a
mall and and has real cool adventures..."
Lh...weecllll..,No.l: Junkflesh isn't
a zombie. As far as I can discern, il's a
humanoid form, animaled by some form of
sclf-delcrminislic virus (thai is, a virus lhal
either mimics intelligence, or is, intelligent) lhal, for unknown reasons, seeks
survival ihrough the bipedal form. No.2:
Junkflesh is a biological/meuphorical
paradox: a being lhal is virtually immoral
and invulnerable, therefore potentially very
powerful, but al the same lime, totally
useless and pathetic, and yes, stupid...
It was found by Ophelia and
Thcophilis, cousins who share similar fuck-
ups for parcnLs. Ophelia and Theoph are
jusl a couple zero-generation losers who
have no idea what importance Junkflesh
may have—they're just trying to keep ii
together... Ophelia isn't crazy, she's bicameral— Theophilis is just a neurotic
baby doomer...
In this story, um, "Vertebrate Dissection," our fun thing, wilh a transmitter
stuck in his neck, runs amuck and has a very
good time looking for plastic. It's up to
Ophy and Theoph to find Junkflesh before
il's mere presence traumitizes your average
human...when you're lumpy, greyish,
smelly, and trailing scrap meul parts,
traumitizing humans can be fun...
Junkflesh No.2 and 3 are coming oul
in December. You can find Junkflesh al
Scratch Records, Smash Gallery, and olher
fine esublishmcnls.
DECEMBERQ ALICE IN CHAINS
It's been a long time in coming, this
bloody interview. Bul, hey, four is a
lucky number, so the situation was
promising. Sharing my optimism
was a fresh face ? round CiTR, Emma
ljiudcr, who aided mc in what follows. That is, the interrogation of
Alice in Chain's principal songwriter, Jerry Canlrell.
Emma Lauder: Docs a "grunge
scene" exist in Seattle and, if so, how
did it affect your music?
Jerry Cantrell: I don'l know whal
grunge is. That's like a buildup on
your windows. It's a good music
scene, there's a lot of great bands
by Braden Zrno
from Seattle. Il's pretty happenin'.
As far as lhat term — I don't really
BRADEN: Is there acertain genre of
music lhat's coming out from the
Northwest right now?
JERRY: Uh, no. There's a lot of
good rock music coming out, there's
also a lot of other greal stuff too.
Y'know there's reggae bands there,
there's pop bands...
BRADEN: Rap bands?
JERRY:  Yeah, there's rap bands
there too: Sir Mixalot.
EMMA: Is there a theme lo Facelife
and was il intentional?
JERRY: Uh.no,not intentional. Wc
just went in, wc just came up with
the songs wc liked and they went on
ihc- alburn.
EMMA: How do you feel aboul
being billed wilh Van Halen and
have the audience reactions been
split in any way?
JERKY: Uh, it's a different crowd
than like the "Clash of the Tilans"
lour but every tour we've been on
has been different. We've toured
with everybody from Extreme, Iggy
Pop, Megadeth, Clash of the Tilans,
Van Halen, so il's always a very
different reaction. But we're having
a fantastic lime, the band's arc in
credibly cool. Il has nothing to do
wilh playing music al all, the cool
bands make il a whole lot belter.
EMMA: Why weren't you involved
wilh Sub-Pop'1
JERRY: We were never approached by them. I think they didn't
really consider us their type of band,
whatever lhal is. I mean, they've gol
a really great thing happening,
there's a lot of great bands on the
label, we jusl never really were a
part of lhat family. Wc just kinda
went off and did our own thing.
BRADEN: Def Jam released a compilation of Slayer Iracks lhat were
recorded off the "Clash of the Ti-
JERRY: Right, thai was the De-
BRADEN: Decade of Aggression
right. Megadeth did a tunc for the
Bill andTects Bogus Journey, whal
else?
EMMA: Anthrax   loured for the
Killer B's.
BRADEN: Yeah, bul nothing new
from Alice in Chains. Whai's going
JERRY: Actually, wc did a movie
loo. Wc did a soundtrack lora movie called Singles which will be corn-
February. Il's
wilh Mall Dillon and Bridget Fonda.
Wc wrote a song for it, wc also do a
couple of scenes in the movies.
Soundgarden and Pearl Jam are also
in it. It's loosely based on the Seattle
music scene. Mali Dillon's in a band
and stuff and Pearl Jam is his backup
band. It's gonna be really cool. Il
sounds cheezy bul il's gonna be really great. It's written and directed
by Cameron Crow who used to wnic
for Roiling Stone, he's also done a
lol of movies since them. It was a
really cool expenence.
BRADEN: Arc you writing on the
JERRY: Wruing a lot-thc next album's gonna be incredible.
EMMA: Do you think you might
lighten your lyrical content al all?
JERRY: No, definitely not. It'll be
more intense on the next album.
EMMA: Where do you draw your
JERRY: I don't know. My sick
twisted mind I guess. It's a selfish
ihing y'know, we gel the shit oul.
You gel everything oul and put it
into the music so you don't keep il
inside yourself. No mailer how sick
and twisted lhal is you gotta lei your
lional outlet. I mean, it always has
been and it always will be, that's
whal il should be and lhat's whal il
is for us.
BRADEN: Is there a real effort
that's pul into the songs locreate the
dark ambience lhal Alice in Chains
has in their music?
JERRY: No, that's just how it
comes oul, it's totally natural. I
mean, there's work lo do and il's
dil liculiai limes to wnte any type of
song. Sometimes you jusl can'l get
riffs to fil together and you can't get
the idea. Bul whenever il comes oul
il's completely straight and natural.
We don't even really think aboul it.
We'll write something and get il down
and I won't even know why or whal it
means to meal lhal point. Bul.y 'know,
maybe a couple of weeks or a couple
of months later I'll get it. I'll gel where
that came from, from within mc or
whatever. We just let it come out. And
instead of analyzing it, jusl let it be as
it is for its strengths and weaknesses.
BRADEN: So if a happy song came
out of Alice in Chains would you
include it even though your fans are
sort of derelicts of society lhat enjoy
the darker side of fife?
JERRY: I don't sec any happy songs
coming out of us in the next decade
(laughs).
BRADEN: So the negative stuff is
quite in abundance.
JERRY: Well, it's not negative it's
just the release of emotions and stuff
and there' s a lot of negativity and a lot
of emotion in the world right now. It's
not a happy-go-lucky world, it's not
Uke thai any more. It's getting worse
and worse in every aspect and everybody's feeling it in society. Luckily,
we have an outlet lo say something
BRADEN: How aboul ihe coming
down of the Berlin Wall?
JERRY: Il's great. It's toully cool
bul I think there's a lot of other things
the world lhat somelhing lhat is as
great as that happening— there's so
many other things that arc going on
that are such crap. It's just getting
worse and worse. From wartodisease
lo famine or whatever, I mean, il's
gelling prclly scary.
BRADEN: Any sort of an idea for the
title ofthe new album or anything like
lhat?
JERRY: We have an idea bul I don't
want to say il right yet, so nobody will
FRONT   242
by June Scudeler
Guess what? Belgian keyboard terrorists FRONT242arc living, breathing human beings, not robots! I
learned this as a friend and I interviewed percussionist Richard 23. If
the grammar seems a little wonky
il's because of Richard's french accent. He was very talkative and
packed a lot of info into twenty min -
Afler the show, some hipsters
and I took ihe 'Front' to a couple of
local clubs where the band looked
likcmiddle-aged Belgian tourists out
for a night on the town. They were
pretty funny and had an actual sense
of humour-gasp! Though I must admit I couldn't tell Jean-Luc, Patrick
and Daniel apart. Fortunately, I overcame this potential social nightmare
by not using their names. Oh well, at
least I know for sure this interview
was with Richard 23.
Why do you feel the concept is
more important than the individual?
Il's quile simple. Because we realized lhat the four members were
strong working together and wc never succeeded when we were working
separately. We don't know if we
were going ahead separately, we
6 53_Rg°S£°^H
might've reached something. But
right now, we know where we arc
because the band worked as an entity, so that's why wc focus on the
band as an cniily, not as individuals.
The other reason is lhat to promote
the band as an entity is much more
easy: you' ve got one name, one logo.
It's like a company; it's like Coca-
Cola. It's easier to promote Coca-
Cola than the five dozen people lhat
work for it. The third reason is to still
have a private life apart from the
project. Wc work from 10 lil 6 or 7
and then wc go back home and lead
our lives. Because of lhat we're
trying to be a little bit anonymous
and focus on the band ralher than the
individual personalities of ihc people. Also, wc don't stand for anything in the music we do, no one of
us is taking a stand or gol a message
to say because the four of us are
different and how can you focus on
one personality when the three others arc different? There's no leader
in the band ai all so that makes it
more important lo work on the entity
of the Front 242 project.
So you don't have any political
connotations? Some people sec you
as militaristic or men fascistic...
Il's strange. It's the firsl lime we've
talked about it in this part of the
world because usually the only country where we've got that kind of
problem talking about fascism is in
France because 15% of the people
vole right and 15% vote extreme
right, so il's right there in the mood.
When you've gol a name like "Front"
it's immediately associated with ihe
National Fronl, ihey don't sec any
further. When you talk aboul the fact
people say wc arc politically right or
militaristic, we are nothing, we arc
Front 242 and wc do a certain kind of
music wilh a certain quality and we
don't stand for anything. 'Cause we
can'l, the four members of the band
got different ages, have different
political views, lead different lives,
got different attitudes, so il would be
impossible for us lo be like U2 or
Johnny Clegg. So we're not talking
mililaristic, of course some of our
music has part of the the rhythm
really strict and square but that's
probably because wc arc European.
Wc try to be European, that's where
we bom; our culture is European,
our feeling and toots are from Europe: like black people try to find
their roots in reggae music, in soul
music, which is fine. I can dance on
soul music, I can dance on reggae,
even if I don't like it, and I can dance
on rap music, but 1 feel it's not coming from mc. So when you do music
and rhythm you will probably reflect
what you arc and wc are white Euro
pean bom. We gave a base to the
people and they can interpret ihe
base they way ihey want. The music,
the pictures, they get from listening
to the music, the lyrics they can
understand, all that is up lo them.
When wc tour, wc gel all of these
types of people, it's all right there.
Whal ever people arc, they can be
black, yellow, or while wc don't
care. When you go sec a movie you
don't know if the person next to you
is a fascist or a left guy; you don'l
care. "ITicy just like the same movie
you do, that's fine. Then after the
movie you can talk about it and see
the guy's got a different interpretation than you. It's the same with
Fronl 242.
It's like your religious sampling:
you're presenting it a.s something
in our society and people can think
about it what they will.
Right, right! Whal happened ihe
first time we came here in '84 in
America, we were amazed by what
was on TV; nol amazed by whal
people believed in, that's taking a
position, bul amazed by the way
preachers were speaking on TV io
motivate and captivate the people.
Wc just started to record those shows
because you don't sec lhat kind of
stuff in Europe and that's how we
started to be interested in preachers
more by the words, more by the
slogans, lhan what's behind it. And
then again people in Mexico, which
is very religious, thought "Welcome to Paradise" was a stand for
Jesus and other people in Europe
think it's against it.
Can you tell us more about the
beginnings of Front 242?
It's easy, the four members were
working quite separately, on different projects before Front 242 and we
surted to touch the synthesizers only
because we wanted to do music and
we weren 'tmusicians and I wouldn 't
spend five years learning guitar because it was like spending my lime.
We realized that there was people in
Germany like Kraftwerk, Ivon, PAF,
who were making really good music, DIFFERENT music, having a
really good altitude and not empty
rock attitude, against all the
rock 'n'roll system in England-making somelhing different and intense
with something from the Continent.
So lhat's why we started. How we
surted is that we were living in the
same area, we had the same interests
in sound research. Daniel was working in an instrument shop selling the
first synthesizers we were buying,
so we sured to be in conuct and
surted exchanging cassettes of the
work we were doing, that's how we
came together.
How are you set up live?
Three live and four members in the
band. When we surted we had support from nobody because ihe type
of music was different and new and
nobody was giving a penny on us
and nobody, like journalist
pany was ii
It was the s
n the mi
as ourselves alone.
when we surted to
do concerts, we never could find
anybody to give us the right sound
live. So naturally ihe more technical
member of the band went behind the
mixing desk to be sure the sound was
right and that's how it surted. We
never sit around a table saying "you
look good, you've got to be on
stage." It just came naturally. When
the band started I was not there.
When they asked me tojoin the band
I was working on the slides and the
lights. They asked mc lo join because they saw a performance of my
other band before and they knew I
was gelling excited and physical on
suge. So when I joined the band it
was basically for the visual part,
more than anything else. So.naturally, Daniel was behind the mixing
desk, Uking care of the technical
problems and when you have three
guy s on the stage, what's the point of
having four guys in the picture? So
the image the band is like the three
guys and ihe technical part is probably iwo guys-the four of us work
together on the project but some of
us have more specifications.
How docs living in Belgium affect
your music? MATT: Wc w
c mad at Scattli
Discorder: I'm here tonight at the
O.K. Hotel in Seattle, WA for the
Fluid. So what have you guys been
up to in the last year and a half or so?
JOHN: Jusl mostly writing songs
and shopping for a label. We've
talked to a lot of different people,
nothing has materialized yet in the
way of an offer, but we're slill shopping. We need a manager to help us
do that so mostly jusl writing songs
JOHN: We're preparing ourselves
to record the next album. We don't
know where it's gonna come out or
who il's gonna be with bul we just
continue doing the same type of thing:
little tours here and there, wrilin'
DISCORDER: So have you played
mostly in the Denver area?
JOHN: Yeah, throughout the summer we have. We toured in April in
the Northeast and upper Midwest and
in February did the wesl coast with
exception of Seattle.	
DISCORDER: Due to...?
JOHN: We couldn't get a date in
Seattle when wc needed il so we
had to blow it off.
MATT: You seem to have this
firmly in hand, John. (And wilh
that Matt exits to go to sound-
JOHN: This is our favorite city lo
play in y'know and we would
have loved to play here then but
we just couldn't get a date. Wc
don't have the most comfortable
relationship with SUB POP but
that doesn't affect our opinion of
DISCORDER: Is lhat why you
left the label?
JOHN: Oh yeah, I could criticize
ihem 'til the cows come home but
lhat doesn't really serve any purpose. We never got paid and with
somany communication problems
it wasjusta completely unproductive relationship. I mean il helped
us to a degree because SUB POP
became really trendy and we gol
ntion ihrough lhat. It
helped our tours a lot because the
cities would slick the SUB POP
logo on the flyers and a certain
percenUge of the people would
come out because we were a SUB
POP band. That's probably where it
helped the mosl. But fundamenully
we never got any money out of them
so we thought why should we continue with that relationship when it
DISCORDER: So how come il's
Uken you so long to find a label? Is
not having a manager part of the
problem or have you just not found
anyone good enough or willing lo
give you the right deal?
JOHN: Well, having a manager
would help a lot 'cuz we're in Den-
ver and there's no label people in
Denver. So for us it involves a lot of
phone work lo make anything happen and none of us have the conUcls
to be able lo generate a lot of excitement. There has been a lot of uncer-
Uinty among the major labels as lo
what direction we're going in. It's
like, "Well I hear pop elements in
there, are you guy s going more along
the pep vein or the punk vein?" I
mean il's been ihc same as it always
was- it's got elements of all that.
Bul that's not enough. Throughout
die summer there were people saying, "Why don't wc give you some
money and you can make a demo
Upc." But wc don't want to make a
demo lape. Ifyou want to hear whal
we're like go out and buy ihe damn
records. My impression is that a lot
oftheA&R peoplewhoare intous,
and who claim to be fans and have
all of our records, they're junior A &
R people and they need to convince
Iheir bosses that we're a worthwhile
venture. Their bosses don't know
anything about us, which is why
ihey ihink the demo tape is necessary. We spent all summer telling
people wc didn't wanl lo do a demo
and recently we jusl found a sludio
in Denver lhat wc like. It's cheap so
we're going to go ahead and record
all our new songs. We're ready to do
the record and if it ukes spending a
grand lo further the interests that
I've seen from ulking with people
then we're gonna go ahead and do it;
even if the major label industry is so
slow in getting things together.
DISCORDER: So what doyou al-
iributc then lo bands like Nirvana
who have jusi been signed? Doyou
wonder how quickly it happened or
doyou think ihcirsigning was incv-
JOHN: Well, I think they're a great
band and they would have been
signed anyway bul they did hire a
good manager and he had a lot lo
do wilh il. You've also gol to look
atthe fact thai this record came out
2 years after Bleach so they did
have a long lull in which they
could generate interest. And that's
whal we're gonna be looking at, al
least a 2 year expanse of lime.
DISCORDER: Have you grown
musically in ihe 2 year break lhat
you'velakcn'.Mslhencwsluffgon-
na be a departure from, say, Glue!
JOHN: I don'l think so. Wc all
like our new songs, wc think
they're ihc best songs we've written. 'Iliey're just like whal any of
the others have been: they're hard
and they're poppy. Ithink wekeep
getting better at writing melodies
because I think that's what we've
been into all along, having a real
catchy melody. I guess we've
grown musically just by the fact
lhal we've written belter songs.
DISCORDER: I noticed lhat you
aren't doing any Canadian shows
at all. Do you not like playing in
Canada or do you just nol have the
JOHN: Well, I like ii line, bin on
a tour like lhis.il being so short, if
we're going lo book a show wc
need it to be maximum guarantee.
And in fact there was one club in
Vancouver who offered us a show.
DISCORDER: It was the Cruel
Elephant actually but as you said I
don'l think they could guarantee
what you were asking.
JOHN: Right, itjust boils down to
whal shows wc can afford to pick
up and gelling ihc guarantee lhal
wc need. Wilh this one, lo lake an
entire day to drive lo another city,
you've gol to consider lhal there's
a lot of expenses loo. So we've gol
to be sure lhat our expenses are
covered, and them some. And that
show didn'l appear like il was going
io do il.
DISCORDER: And the border can
be a big hassle sometimes too....
JOHN: It's a huge hassle, yeah.
Wilh us l(K>king so scraggly and all
I could see why they wouldn't wanl
to let us over.
DISCORDER: Touring in North
America has been successful enough
foryou guys, so what about Europe?
Whal kind of response have you
gotten over there?
JOHN: It's been great. Wc went lo
England and Scotland a year ago
and il was awful there. I mean Nirvana, lad and Mudhoney had all
been there and then wc come and
they expected us to be Nirvana, Tad
and Mudhoney. So it was pretty
awful. But it was great in Germany
and some of the other countries wc
did around there
DISCORDER: I can understand
lhat since I've talked toother bands
who say thai il's hard to play in
England because ihey have such a
conservative idea of whal ihey like
lo hear and ifyou don'l conform to
lhal idea ihcn you won't be liked
very much. And [think that's a hard
thing lo accept especially because
you have such a huge following in
North America.
JOHN: You're right. That's very
true. [ John hears that he has lo go to
soundcheck] Well, I have to go.
DISCORDER: Okay, well I'll wail
for you 'cuz there's a couple more
ihings I wanted to ask.
'Ihe rest ofthe intcr/icwiook place off
Upc as upon reluming from sound-
check John appears lo be a little more
tense and perhaps worried
night's festivities. John had little
worry aboul tho'  because, as t
evening unfolded, they rocked oul li
the Fluid thai I know and love.
ihc
We've got lots of artists, like Jacques
Brel, people you don't even know
are from Belgium-even the guy lhat
made the saxophone. We have lots
of great painters, Flemish painters.
Bul the culture in general was influenced by everybody, we've been
occupied by the Spanish, by the
Auslrians, by the Germans, by the
French, by the Netherlands, by everybody because the country is so
small, il was easy. So because of
lhat, there's a lot of different influences. Now Brussels is inthemiddle
of the EEC which means a lot of
companies coming there, a lot of
people coming from all over Europe
to live there. We've gol thirty TV
channels on the air; you play with
the remote and you can jump from
one country lo another, you can watch
the news at 7:00, 8:00, 9:00, 10:30
from Germany, Spain, Italy, v
r. So, v
e gol n
rules to fol
low. We are not English pop music,
we're not French, so we won't be
love singers. All lhat makes it easier,
the geographical situation and the
cullural s
There seems to be a similar situation because Canada is next to the
States and we just get swallowed
up. Canadians arc struggling to
keep out culture and our government doesn't help.
Yes, I can sec lhat. Il's double in
Europe. We can tell we were influenced by America because America
was a big country, bul now people
realize il's not lhal good al all. You
got McDonald's in Brussels but wc
won't have more because the people
jusl want good food. You under-
sund, because we used lo have good
food. Of course people like lo go to
McDonald's, they go before movies. Bui they won't go everyday
because they want home cooked
meals. Same wilh movies, we got
American movies but wc will also
have Italian movies, French movies,
German movies, because lhat's whal
the people want. Because of that we
have American stuff, but we keep
What do you think about hands
such a.s Ministry and Nine Inch
Nails mixing guitars and technology?
I don't know. We see lots of American industrial bands using guiurs;
we do loo, as a matter of fact we
have lots of guiurs, samples of guiurs in our music, we just don'l play
guiurs. But Daniel can make tapes
for hours wilh guitars and noise and
then we sample what we need and
when we find a good tune getting in
the music, we use it. We sample a
few heavy metal bands because we
think they're very interesting and
intense Bulnow,ulking aboul.Min-
islry, I don'l think they're electronic
at all, they're a hardcore band. To
me, Twitch was the last good album.
I don't like whal they do now. Nine
Inch Nails is fine because the guy has
a great voice, he's a good composer,
he's got good melodies and the structure ofthe music very interesting. We
are not pro-electronic, I love Depeche
Mode because they're probably the
best electronic pop band in the world.
I love even the Pet Shop Boys for the
same reason. But I like heavy metal
because it's intense and powerful and
I like disco because it's danceable
and simple. I like rap, it's different
than funk or whatever, and I like
classical because I think il's the biggest, deepest music you can find in
the world. So we don'l sund for or
against electronic music or for or
against the guiur. Music is music,
there's interesting stuff everywhere.
We stand against the old rock'n'roll
way of making music and business
that makes us sick, more than the
music itself. I think sometimes Rolling Stones have a good tunc, who
cares? I jusl don'l like the way
rock'n'roll goes. We are really anti-
rock we don't do drugs or drink and
and we don't destroy hotel rooms and
all lhat kind of bullshit.
Are you planning more collaborations or side projects?
We've got noplans because we work
too much for Front, it takes too much
time, not only the music, but all the
shit going around it, so we've got no
real time. We've met people-we've
met a guy who's a producer of video
games and the company he works is
making video games and selling the
programs to Nintendo and Amiga
and people like that and he's a fan of
Front 242. He's gol a project of a
newgameand he wants us lodothe
music for the game and I think
that's more interesting lhan working with other people making in-
How much of your stuff is live?
tapes because there'
point in bringing a computer. We
tried that a couple years ago, but it
was a   mess. We feel that we are
shows than into a rock show; lhat's
why we're using Upcs. First, Daniel
is standing behind the mixing desk;
he has an eight track recorder so he
can mix it so he's playing like a DJ,
so he can mix the bass and voice so
il's different every nighl. So then we
play wilh the keyboards, drums and
so every nighl it can be different—
which is good so we don't gel bored.
Of course, the bones are there, the
iracks arc always the same, the people are expecting you to play the
same songs, bul if you want to sing
more or dance more depending on
ihc reaction of the people, we are
free to do lhal because of the tracks the cruel
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IlGA
About a zillion years ago there was a
rumble in Ihe belly of ihe Arizona
desert which shaped one of the
world's most brilliant phenomenon:
The Grand Canyon. like the second
coming of the Lord those tremors
were fell again, about a dozen years
ago, bul the consequences of those
afler-shocks proved of greater magnificence. Once the rubble and dust
had sel, emergency broadcasts iu med
off and rationing ceased, lounging at
the hub of all this commotion were
three Phoenix boys. Belched, like a
chicken bone, from ihe esophagus of
the arid Arizona desert were the Meat
Puppets.
Belched is a better verb than a
lot might think to describe ihe Meal
Puppets conception. For a band
whose sound varies from Tex-Mex
to hardcore to psychedelia, belching
and other relief noises could easily
be mixed into the proverbial bunt
pan—strictly for artistic creativity,
of course.
MEAT PUPPET RHC1PF
Ingredients:
1 drummer-Derrick Bostrom
2 brothcrs-Cris and Curt Kirkwood
2EP's
8 LP's
KAiO
So were you guys just hanging out
back home or what?
No, wc just gol home the day before
from a month of touring.
Where were ya?
Uh, wc went up lo mid-west through
the north-east. All the way up lo
Montreal was, I think, as far north as
Oh, so you did play some dates in
Canada?
Yeah, Toronto and Montreal. My
Canadian girlfriend is whining at me
aboul not having my names of stales
right, or whatever... 1 mean we play
there a bunch (Vancouver), nobody
That's strange though. Why do
think that is?
Cuz' nobody gives a shit about us
and nobody wants to go.
t the sort of pci
leave their house
alone logo to some fuckin' slinky bar.
Il's tough lo sec a band lhal ihey really
like get pul ihrough that kind of degrading shit.
So do you think thafs who your
listeners are then...the people that
actually go out and buy your CD's?
Um, I don't know. Thai's one uke on
it and that is partly true. Just 'cuz
we're such a fuckin' unique band,
uptight, whatever the fuck we are.
So you think people would get into
that more because you're not cliche
by any means.
Right, well, like I said we've done
alright. We've been together almost
12 years now and I haven't worked al
anything else olher lhan this for the
last ten. We've done alright but we
just don't pack 'em in and Vancouver
Grease your bundt pan wilh preferred lubricant
In a car mix the drummer and 2
brothers furtively until dizzy and disoriented. Add the artisticAnusical influence of everybody from Led Zeppelin
and ZZ lop to The Germs and Husker
Du. Agiuic until agitated. Check for
country twang. Ixt marinate wilh SST
for 10 years.
This results in the rising of 2 ep's
and 7 LP's. Sign a deal wilh Polygram
and pour into bunt pan. Top wilh first
major release, Ibrbidden Places, and
bake in the Arizona desert at approximately 110%.
Once the mixture has finished
baking you should have a crisp, dean
and gooey sound.
Add smokes and beer lo uste. Garnish
with a cactus or roadkill. You are now
ready to serve. Enjoy.
Collectively, the Meat Puppets
are Curt Kirkwood (guitar, vocals),
Cris Kirkwood (bass, vocals) and
Derrick Bosirom (drums). Their
music dabbles in everything: folk,
jazz, country, meul and punk-rock.
At best, you could say they are a
fickle bunch. Currently they're touring in support of their latest, and
first, Polygram release, Forbidden
Places. They've just suited the lour
to support this release and I was
fortunate enough to chat with Cris
Kirkwood on their return to Vancouver's infamous Town Pump...
Imagine a life of complete and total leisure
and insert me there. Do I want to fuckin' lay
naked in a pool of teenage girls all lubricated with Jello? Yes! I'm just like everybody
else.
Well, how can you say that though
cuz'you just got picked up by Poly-
Down here There arc some people
that come out bul we're jusl a strange
band. We've never been thai huge or
anything...never drawn lhat many
people. We've done all right but
we've never been like WOW, you
know.
Where people are..?
...flocking to it. We're a little more
demanding and I don't get inlo it. I do
know why. It's because we don't
fuckin' suck up to the kind of people
that like to come to rock shows. The
kind of person lhat would like my
has always been one of our worst
places for some reason. Yeah, jusl
awful. Town Pump—Town Dump. I
mean there's like 50 or 75 people that
show up. And then there's like, "Oh,
NoMeansNo is having their reunion
gig," some shit, "and the Subhumans
are gonna play."
Do you want to hear the latest crock
of shit? The Exploited is touring.
Pack it in guys.
You know, whal are people gonna
do, dry up and become cheese? I
mean, tonight we're playing with the
Psychedelic Furs who you would
think is dead, come and gone, but
they're still around and slill playing.
Thai's how people react to us a lot of
So how is the new album doing?
Uh, it's not doing to bad.
Considering you guys had huge
sales on SST when you were with
them does this compare at all?
Yeah, the sales are as good. They're
as good as they ever were on SST but
compared to the major labels il's not
good enough. They wanl it to go gold
and it's notnear lhat yet. It's sold a lot
of records, we're real happy wilh the
: iu sold.
Of course there are a lot of good
things about getting picked up by
the major but it kind of sucks in a
way too because you gotta live up
to their expectations which is su-
perstardom where you got to sell a
million copies before they're going
to bend over backwards for you.
Yeah, that's completely it. And either lhat or they gotu think that you' re
gonna sell a lot. Like we're called the
Meal Puppets you know. They'll for
sure go, 'Well, Meatloaf... uh, nope'.
You know, it's too obvious and what
it, and then there's these olher
people who are ihese icons of purity and strength, or danger and
chaos and whatever.
So what are your views on bands
like Fugazi?
Nothing. I don't care about other
bands. Thai's where I don't fit in.
I don'l compare myself lo olher
bands or think about other bands
or even give a shit about them.
Well, it's some other people doing
something else and I don't give a
fuck about other people. So, you
can infer from that what I think
about other bands. I don't give a
fuck about them and I don'l give
about the fuckin' rock 'n roll business either 'cuz it's gross, by and
large—like most businesses are—
and if I can succeed in it that
would be a break but I sure hope I
don't have to fuckin' care very
much or do much more than I'm
doing right now because it will be
somewhat of a fuckin' strain. I am
the way that I am and I didn't get
into playing music so I could go
out of my way for other people.
I'm not in the rock business, I'm
College radio? I don't know what they do,
I didn't go to college
not. Then I give interviews like this
where they're going, 'Hey, wait a
minute, this guy's a snotty motherfucker. This guy isn't interested in
playing along', 'cuz it's so much
aboul pretending that you're something special in a way. I mean look at
the shit that sells a lol, major stuff and
indie stuff too. As far as I'm concerned it's just a different rouge and
that's why we've never been huge on
that either because we never stroked
that particular little trend. And on
either side you got these people that
are just like so fake fuckin' walking
around in their little outfit all primped
up, they just obviously really want
the money and will do anything to get
in the Meat Puppets. Thai's all
there is, so I wish all ihese other
bands all the luck in the world or
hope they all get fuckin' hit by a
bus. They have their fate like everybody does. Just 'cuz I'm in a
band it's always,'Well, what do
you think of the music business?'
Well I don't give a fuck about it
anymore lhan I care about sports
or the government.
So do you have a big hatred for
corporate rock, or what?
No, not at all, that's not what I'm
saying at all. I'm just saying that I
don't care about what other people do, they can go ahead and do
8 E_Rg°SK^n So, with you guys getting picked
up by Polygram—'cuz there's not
a lot of bands that are like you—
do you think that there's a whole
new market opening for alternative bands?
We're not an alternative band. Why
we've gotten signed is because the
alternative market has been esub-
lished, for sure, big enough so that
the majors have invested a bunch of
money in it. Do I think that it's the
kill myself. 23 is the highest that
this country can produce in number
of kills by a single attacker with a
gun. In Texas this guy drove his
truck into Luby's, got out and systematically killed 23 people; shot
another 30. That's the new record
beating oul that guy who went inlo
Mcdonald's a few years back.
Were they tied some how [the
killings]?
Only in that the guy was unemployed and he blamed the govern-
The kind of person that would like my band
isn't the sort of person that even wants to
leave their house ever, let alone to go to
some fuckin' stinky bar.
early 90's version of disco? Yes! It's
some new trend and the majors buy
into it. As soon as it passes it'll die
out and all the departments that are
formed right now lo support il will
be deleted jusl like the disco depart-
Okay, so you're saying that from a
major label point of view but what
about college radio which has supported you guys for ten years? Do
you think it's just a trend with
college radio as well?
College radio? I don't know what
they do I didn'l goto college; Idon't
listen io the radio, so I don't know
what they're up to. As the trend
changes, if it does change, college
radio will die oul or turn into what it
has become which is a training
ground formajor label radio. Whereas, when it developed, suddenly the
media was being used in a new way
and that's where trends develop. So,
for a while there, college radio was
some place where you could go in
and spin records backwards and play
Sun Ra next to the theme song from
Charles In Charge. There's been the
80's andnow there's a newer, kinder,
gentler Ixftism which involves political correctness. Suddenly there
were good litiJe boys and girls in
charge who were headed towards
well paying jobs wilh the industry.
Bul on another level, whal I really
feel, the Meat Puppets are so much
cooler than any of that shil. The band
is just so fuckin' cool who gives a
fuck how many records we make...
how many we sell. And lhat's all lhat
the music industry is about is money, period. There are a lot of people
in there that really love music and
what not, but they don't own the
fuckin' companies they work for 'em.
But you can get nice music made and
what nol, and they actually did sign
us, and we gol io make a really cool
Meat Puppets record and pul it out
on their label. But if we don'l sell
enough of'em we'll gel dumped like
a can of fuckin' boiling shit.
Was Hinckley unemployed too?
No, he was infatuated with Jodie
Foster and was trying to win her
attention. And lhat spawned the band
Jodie Foster's Army.
He wanted to work wilh us too and
one time Dwighl opened for us
years ago before he got big, Pete
played with him then, saw us that
night and has dug us ever since.
Once he found out we were on the
label he actually approached the
label about it. So it worked out real
good.
Sodo you think you guys will get
the chance to open for Dwight
Yoakam?
If we wanted to we probably could.
Dwight came down to the studio a
bunch while wc were making the
record and really fell in love with
the song "Sam."
With Forbidden Places your
sound is pretty much synonymous with what you guys have
done in the past. Was that your
guys' doing or Pete's?
That was our's, largely. He didn't
fuck with anything lhat much. We
played him the songs andhepicked
out the ones he liked the besl and
we all decided which ones we'd
use. So we had everything worked
out, pretty much, before we went
in, he just wanted lo make the band
sound really good and make the
band play what it does. We spent
more time on the vocals too. We
were a little more meticulous with
this one and there are ears that
would notice. It's nil-picky bullshit
lhat we never worried about but
He still writes to her you
know....This new album (Forbidden Places) you guys actually got
somebody to produce it where in
the past all the albums have been
self-produced, what was the difference in that?
We had more money this time and
we could afford a hot producer.
We've never tried it and we're into
trying different things.
Just to see what he would bring
out of your guys* sound?
And to uke a bunch of the responsibility off our shoulders because
we were sick of doing il. In a way,
there's a lot of it that's a pain in the
ass. And also we were trying to play
along because if they see somebody's name on there it's like.'Oh,
he's willing to work on this and pul
his name to it, well then there must
Who was the guy that produced
your album anyway?
Pete Anderson. He did Dwight
Yoakam, Michelle Shocked and
Blue Rodeo.
we did on this one and the record
got played a lot on radio.
I guess ifyou got the money you
might as well fuck with it hey?
Yeah. We weren't being in any
way unfrugal at all we just worked
with everything until we got it the
way we wanted it to sound using
our ears. I like the way it came out
alot.
You guys are from Tcmpe, Arizona right?
We are now.
Do you know Alice Cooper?
Not personally, no. My mom met
him in a restaurant one night and
he's aware of ihe band and all that.
Doesn't he hold office or something like that?
No, he doesn't. I think he's an
alcoholic. He's probably a reformed alcoholic-cum-golfer. I
think he's like a golf fanatic. That's
how it is with a lot of reformed
drugee and alcoholics all they do is
golf.
If that was to happen would you      So he kind of tied in with your
go back to SST
guys' sound.
Naw, I'U go on a killing spree then      Ah, it was just a good
Do you guys live ne?
Canyon at all?
Uh, it's only 3 hoi
the Grand
something. Thai's anotherlhing thai
Canada has a lot of that I'm very
fond of is outdoorsy wonderment.
Fuckin' Vancouver, it's so pretty
there, for a city of ils size. It's fuckin' gorgeous, believe it. I mean, living in the desert and to come to a
place like that it's like, 'You live
here? You must be an elf.'
We make your presents for Christmas up here. They keep us busy up
here. Do you ski at all?
I have. Yeah, I actually Uught myself how io ski a few years back and
il's a pretty neat sport. I can'l take
the fuckin' little chair ride, it just
drives me up ihe wall. That's the
thing about Arizona: 2 hours to the
north you get into country that looks
like Jasper or Banff and then suddenly it just splits open and there's
the Grand Canyon which is insane.
The desert has its own very unique
Do you mow the lawn?
I have a lawn, yeah.
Do you mow it though?
Oh yeah.
Have you ever learned to play
hockey?
No, but my dad was a pro hockey
player. He played forthe Texas Rang-
Do you think you would move to a
climate where there is snow?
I've lived in snow before, as a kid.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind it al all, I'm
gelling pretty sick ofthe desert. I've
been here for awhile sol could wind
up in some place as nice as the Canadian Rockies that's for sure. It
wouldn't bother meal all. Imagine a
life of complete and toul leisure and
insert mc there. Do I want to fuckin'
lay naked in a pool of teenage girls
all lubricated with Jello? Yes! I'm
jusl like everybody else. But yeah it
would be fun lo get into the snow
thing.
MEATPUPPHTS DISCOGRAPHY
Forbidden Places LP - Polygram
"Sam" 7" single - Polygram
No Strings Attached LP - SST
Attacked By Monsters LP - SST
Mirage LP - SST
Huevos LP - SST
Out Of My Way EP - SST
Up On The Sun LP - SST
Meat Puppets II - SST
Meal Puppets - SST
In A Car EP - SST
COMPILATIONS
The 7" Wonders Of The World cassette - SST
"No Values" on Lovedolls Superstar soundtrack - SST
"I Jusl Wanna Make Love To You"
on Blasting Concept Vol.11 - SST
"Meat Puppets" and "Tumblin' Tumble weeds" on Blasting Concept Vol.
/-SST
"Teenagers" on Take It magazine
flexidisc
"Unpleasant" on Amok compilation
- Placebo Records
"Meat Puppels" on Light Bulb Cassette - L.A.F.M.S.
"H Elenore" on Keith Rides A liar-
ley - Happy Squid
"Hair" on Monitor LP - World Imi-
DECEMBER Q BIG
SHOT
TIMBUKZ
LIVE AT THE TOWN PUMP THURS. DEC. 19
Their new album,
Big Shot in the Dark
794   4^94
cass _L__BC.d.
itimbik:
THE BEAT GOES ON »
The Best of English Beat, Fine Young
Cannibals and General Public, plus
unreleased tracks from International
Beat and Special Beat.
I!
operators   manual
buzzcocks   best
Operator's Manual is the
definitive collection of the
band considered by many
to be the forefathers of
"The Manchester Sound"
LIVE AT THE COMMODORE
TUESDAY NOV. 26TH
794 12
I cass _L_t_-
O&6sound
94
cd.
I
9 There are few facts in what follows. Il is
up lo you, ihe discerning reader, to differentiate fact from fiction. Il is unlikely
lhal events told here could ever happen,
bul be on your guard, you never know
acting work. "Wc are at the Canadian      Oi
border, sir. We seem to be having some
problems crossing inlo Canada." He
nodded toward Will. "There should
someone here any r
situation. I have calculated...
Picard
nneWe^MMi .charge hen
writer who dest
interview with Da'
dent and now
lame-brained
>r off hi!
Commander William Ry N^K The Three
Hundred Pound Roadi
Wesley Crusher as Bus Driver
Lt. Commander Dau as himself
Simon Hussey as the ill fated stagehand
Special Guest Appearance by Spock as
The Canadian Border Guard
The long black tour bus had been
at the border for six hours now. The band
had been in a small room by themselves
for most of lhat time. Canada Customs
was finished going through the bus. But
there was slill one problem to be dealt
with. Picard was sUrting to lose his cool.
He thought back to the days when he had
been in charge of over 1000 beings on
his own Starship. Now, with the cancelling of Star Trek-The Next Generation
he was forced to Uke nearly anything
lhal came his way. Bul this, this was as
low as it had ever been: lour manager for
a rock band. How he longed lo here Data
play the violin. To hear Uhuru sing.
Damn, wrong series. The effects of the
post show party last nighl had not completely worn off Picard. He knew that if
they look a urine sample he would join
the cast of Different Strokes in the slammer. And now, to top il off, the border
guards were changing shifts. He would
have to explain why Will Ryker had a
brassiere over his clothing to yet another
person. Personally, Picard kind of liked
the bra on Will. After all, Will wasn't
wearing his new found fatness very well
and ihe cups helped his posture considerably. Poor Will. He never was anything
more than a follower. But who would
have thought that afler the series ended.
Will would try to kill all the people in
Fcrengie costumes on the sel He'd only
been out of the hospiul for a few weeks
now. Picard wasn't going to jeopardize
Will'srecoverybyconfronting him about
his wardrobe. Not yet anyway.
Behind Picard, Black Francis
started lo move. It was the first sign of
life he had shown in over three hours.
Joey meekly peered over his sunglasses
lo see what was going on. Seeing nothing of life threatening importance, he
fell back asleep. Meanwhile, Black
scanned the room, trying lo get his bearings.
"Where the fuck are we?" he managed to get out between belches. The
odour of his foul emissions had sent the
rest of his companions scurrying towards
room's lone window. It wouldn't open.
Wesley Crusher was the only one
able to speak. Wesley hadn't lost an
ounce of the youthful exhuberence that
he had once displayed on the bridge of
the Enterprise. However, a couple of
really bad roles in Hollywood had made
it next to impossible for him to find any
/ Uke touring a lot.
Record, tour, record, lour. I'm the one
into that. The others would rather just
record and do studio stuff, bul I like the
live thing. It is what excites me the mosl
aboul the band.My favourite live songs
are 'Planet of Sound,' Tame,' 'Rock
Music,' 'Gigantic,' 'Debaser,' 'Gouge
Away,' basically the whole set...it's a
tiring hour and a half, but I feel that it's
the best and most fun set that we have
Al lhat moment the door opened.
Picard struggled lo make oul the form. It
looked like some form of tall raisin with
cars. Long pointy ears, feul the skin, it
was nearly as wrinkled as Ryker's
clothing. Except for Will's bra. Il was so
firm looking, so shiny, so inviting. He
began lo reach out towards Will's chesL
The raisin spoke. Picard froze in
mid grope.
"Citizenship?" the voice asked.
Picard could nol respond. He shook his
head and looked towards the door again.
"Is that you, Mr. Spock? My god,
it is! What has happened to us? Me a
lowly lour manager and you, you a Canadian." The two men stood motionless
for a second and then began lo move
toward one another. Unfortunately
Picard's hand was caught in the snap of
Will's bra making the former capuin
unable to move anywhere. However, the
sudden motion of Picard's jerk caused
the hra lo fall to the floor. Kim quickly
picked it up and put it in her bag.
"Picard, my old friend. It is you. I
heard that ihe show was cancelled. Bul
this, I could never imagine you doing
this. And for the Pixies! Have you no
Picard said nothing, but hung his
head in self disgust. He sucked on the
hand lhat had been caught in ihe snap. It
hurt. Spock waited, but there was no
response. He could sense the embarrassment of his old friend. Things weren't
exactly great for himself, either, he
thought. It was not exactly easy having
eight inch ears that looked like they had
been caught in an electric peci! sharpener al hirlh. Gene Roddenberry had assured him that the glue would nol be
permanent Who could have known? And
anyway, some women found his ears an
incredible turn on. And then there was
Bones...Spock shook his head and spoke
in a voice of authoritjffBBji***-
"I have gone over your case and
find lhat all reports of Ryker wearing
women's apparel are false. There is no
reason to keep you out of the country.
Here are your work visas. Welcome to
Canada." With that Spock turned and
left the room.
DavidLovering: "We are anti-video. It's
such a waste of money. Think ofwhalyou
could do with the money most bands
spend on just one video. That said, 'Head
yel, bul a friend of ours say. it and said it
swr.Ud..J( Salive performance, shotwith
]usthavetO»aitdnJsee..£vtn 'Dig For
renttkatstathumfortheenurtday. What
The bus pulled up to the Fabulous
Commodore Ballroom.   Ihe hand had
been here before.  Memories fl«
hack. Mo. it w
powerSti^«f the pot thai Dai
manag^^Hiugglc
Good ihing tin  guards hadn'l chccl
absolule^Hfcy where.
Pi^^Ks in Ihc back of the bus,
still sulkinfSBhls meeting with Spock.
That and his hand still hurt.
"Yo Pickle! We're here! "
He hated it when people called
him Pickle.' And when Kim did il, it
hurt even more. Despite her chain smoking, he had found himself attracted to
Kim in a way he couldn'l explain. Maybe il was her raspy voice. Il could have
been the way she moved on slage. Or il
could be lhat ever since thai nighl on the
Fnlcrprise with Dr. Crusher, ihe closest
experience Picard had had wilh sex had
been wilh Ryker at the border earlier
today. Good ihing Spock interrupted or
who knows what the hell would have
happened. Picard shuddered al the
though I
"Earth lo Slarship Pickle. Earth
calling Pickle. Do you read, Pickle?"
The entire bus broke up al Kim's
remarks. He swallowed his pride and
stood up, straightening his uniform as he
did so. Il was one of the few items he had
uken when he left ihc show. He now
wished he had taken more. Ihis one was
beginning lo smell.
"RighL Will, begin unloading the
gear. Wesley, park (he vehicle around
ihc comer. Kim...Wcsley! Kindly, wait
until we have removed ourselves from
the bus before moving! Now where was
I? Yes, Kim you have a video interview
wilhsomeguy who calls himselfTcedee-
cm. Sounds like a Romulan, be careful.
Black, your interview is with the two
daily newspapers and then we have a
phoncr with some big American maga-
Joey and David had begun lo leave
the bus. They usually had ihc afternoon
off, no interviews, no worries. Everyone
wanted lo speak lo Black and Kim anyway. And he had heard lhal there were
bowling lanes right by ihe venue. I Ie was
going to whip Joey's buu today. Sud-
boomed out from
driver and interview him.' It hurt. He
was a person, loo. He had feelings, opin
ions, ideas. Oh sure, mosl of ihem were
about 4/4 time vs 5/4, or whal kind of
drum stool was the most comfortable,
bulthcyweresull thoughts. I lis thoughts.
A smile formed, through the tears. He
was going to he interviewed. He struggled to remember what Picard had been
had been deep in ihoughi
now a paper pushing Pixies promoter.
Whal would Kaylar say if she were still
alive? And to lop il off, he could hear ihc
Pixies tour manager yelling out in the
ballroom. Funny, lhal voice sure sounded familiar. Ihj decided lo investigate.
Worf left the loomwilh his phasers sel lo
kill, the only setting a true Klingon would
pick up a roadcase, Picard pounced. Silently, like the Slarficct officer he had
once been, Picard pulled his phascr up
to ihe lemple of a slarlled Simon I lusscy.
"Do nol move common labourer, or I shall end your miserable existence nghl where you sund."
Simon Hussey did nol move. Bul
he immediately recognized the voice.
"Aren't you Capuin Picard?"
Picard was shocked. This creature knew who he was. He would have
lo kill him. But first he needed si
information.
"WhaU^replied to
. wilh an obviou-.lv lake
David hivering: "Charles i
Charles is Ihe band, Charles is the band.
Il is Charles' band...He writes the stuff
and then we all jam on it. We all have
input and make some changes, bul what
you hear is mostly Charles .The lyrics
are interesting to me. He could be writ-
ing aboul bonngstuff, but it is exciting. .I
could think of a lot worse things lo be
The cub reporter sat nervously ai
one of the tables at the Commodore. The
band was already three hours late. He
had almost given up hope. "They'll never show up," he moaned lo no one m
particular. He began lo gather his belongings. Suddenly there wa.s a loud
crash from ihe sugc area.
"Mr. Ryker, will you kindly remember your job! Ihe deli iray is for the
band. You may have some afler you sel
up the gear. Don't give me dial face. And
wipe ihosc crumbs oul of your beard!
Where's ihe promoter? Who the hell is
the promoter al this dump?"
Ihere was no immediate response
to Picard's ranting. He continued in the
best tour manager tone he could muster.
"Is Ihere a Mr. Woof here? Mr
Woof? I am Jean-Luc Picard of the
Star...er Pixies, and I would like to speak
lo you aboul ihis pitiful cxamplcof a deli
tray.! have never seen such garbage in
my life. Mr. Woof, I would like lo sec
"Mr. Roper, Bob Roper, from
Discover Magazine, is that you?" Picard
was sweating profusely. Unfortunately
he had no hair to prevent il from running
down his face.
"Boper, sir, Rob Boper. And il's
Discorder, sir."
"Yes, well, Mr. Boper, you have
five minutes wilh Mr. Lovering. Begin
The cubbic was. silent. He had
never interviewed anyone from the Pix us
before. Hell, the biggest celebrities he
e ihe n
lagers o
Windwalker and Tankhog. Or w_
owners Mint Records, He couldn't remember. Bul whoever it was, Ihis was
bigger. The reporter's mouth went dry.
I Ie pointed at a chair for David to s ii in.
David pointed back. Neither knew that
this was the biggest moment ever for the
olher. Neither knew how much the other
had been waiting for this to happen.
Neither knew lhal the olher had lo go lo
the bathroom more lhan anything else in
the world.
David levering: "Working with Gil
Norton was someone al 4AD's idea. We
first worked with him on the 'Gigantic'
single. I guess you could call him the fifth
Pixie.Asfar as singing goes, Iwould do
it again but it is something that lakes a lot
lly losing his mind, of courage. Definitely not live...Vaughn
i ■<*■> Oliver came up wilh the eyeball thing on
the new album. He does all our artwork."
David Lovering: "There is a lot of spare
lime while on lour. I kill lime by smoking
a lot of pot...Our
r of the
the r
ering, where do ~y-_C_§i
you think you are going? This is nol a
party, this is a tour. You are here lo work.
Your continuing miss
where no band has promoted before
And where ihere is a question, there is an
interview. And you, Mr. Lovering, have
David was stunned. No one ever
wanted lo speak to him. It was always
'Black do this' or 'Kim do that.' Joey
:n got to 4
After all, he was there with Black from
the sUrt But David, never. He had heard
the comments from olher reporters when
ihey thought he wasn't looking. 'Who's
thai?' they would ask each other. Inevi-
ubly one of them would recognize him
from a video and say lo the others 'I le's
just the drummer. Let's go find ihc bus
Worf was exhausted, lt had been
over six months since the lasl episode of
Star Trek-The Next Generation and he
was slill trying to get ihc Klingon headpiece off of his skull. No one had told
him thai Roddenberry was going to screw
it in. No wonder Worf had been haunted
by headaches while he was doing the
show. And now Worf had been forced
inlo becoming a promoter, the lowliest
profession in the entire universe. Worf,
once a saviour of the Klingon Empire,
Picard was absolutely livid now.
He had tried ihe food and found thai ii
tasted remarkably like overcooked
Klingon stew. He was none loo happy.
Picard stormed out of the dress ing room.
Despite protestations from Joey that the
food wasn't as bad as it looked, Picard
needed to vent his anger. In Ihc good old
days he could have just gone to the
Holodcck and relaxed or lei off some
steam. Now he had to Uke il oul on
promolers. He decided lhat he had had
enough somone was going to pay for all
the indignities lhal the once greal Jean-
Luc Picard had suffered since the show's
cancellation. Thai someone would be
Ihe promoter. Picard drew his phascr and
bolted from the dressing room.
He quickly realized that he had no
idea what ihis Woof character looked
like. He hid in the shadows at sUge left,
wailing for the right moment. A stagehand was approaching. Picard slid behind the monitor board and breathlessly
waited. Just as the sugehand bent over lo
ihc bar,
Uh his back lo us." Picard squinted
inlo ihe dislance. His eyesighl had deteriorated rapidly wilh all ihe Iclhal radiation he had been exposed lo on the Fnlcrprise Simon tried to wipe off his neck
and then continued, "You should speak
to him, sir, il's Mr. Wor..."
Simon would never finish his
sentence. "Yes, you arc right, my dead
red headed friend, I should speak lo him.
But you shall do no such thing." With
lhal Picard threw his head back and
laughed. Ihere was bul one more slep lo
complete. Picard moved his phaser's
selling from 'stun' lo'dusl'. Il was a new
setting. Il was Picard's favourite.
Like the gianl jungle cat dial he
wished he was, Picard leapt from uble
top to uble top, moving closer io Worf
wilh each bound. He was now wilhin
range. Breathing heavily, he steaded
himself against one of pillars jusl off the
dance floor and fired.
David l.nvering: "The Throwing Muses
split made me think aboul the mortality of
being w a band. It's not something lhal
will last for ever. Al least ihey each have
going lo pick things up and work with
Fred as the Throwing Muses again,
anyway...Yeah, we all got to be pretty
Worf did not have a chance. He
went up in a puff of smoke. Ihe only
thing lefl of him was his headpiece. At
least he has finally gotten lhal off Picard
felt a rush of adrenaline and turned lo fire
jjgain He didn'l care al whal, anyihing
~Would do. lie was once again laughing
oul loud. Bul before he could fire, David
levering pulled somelhing oul of his
back pocket and fired, hitting Picard
with a force that sent him reeling.
"Do not worry," monoloned levering, "He is only stunned. He should
come around in a few minutes." He efficiently marched over lo Picard's fallen
body, removed the phascr from ihc
slunned tour manager and bound him lo
ihe nearest pillar. Then in one sweeping
motion, David Lovering removed his
own head and ihc body suil lhal he had
been wearing for the lasl four years.
'Ihere slood 1.1. Commander Daia.
David gave his head a shake and
realized lhal he hadn'l heard a word of ihc
lasl question. Something aboul Pixies'
songs alwaysbc ing aboul space and UFO's.
"No," he responded, "I don'l know
DECEMBER © I L  O  V  E  I T
I C R A V E I T
I N E  E D  I T
I W A N T I T
ON ROBSON
Now serving coffee and salads too.
1175 Robson      1937 Cornwall
Vancouver's
Largest Selection
of Almost New and Used
Paperbacks and
Magazine Back Issues
Large Range of
Hard Cover Books
Thousands of New and
Collector's Comics
We Buy, Sell or Trade
1247 Granville near Davie
682-3019
3347 Kingsway
430-3003
Open 7 Days a Week
SECRETS   ENTRUSTED
TO A FEW
S
U
B
T
E
X
T
BY JUDITH BEEMAN
Noise: The new format is peachy, Ridgc/Cincmathcque/Stai
though still cluttered al times. Intel- light:   These   movic-housi
ligcnl and informative. Thee "left guides nol only tell you what
wing" paper wilh a twist...luv the coming up, but include exec
Commercial Drive gossip column. lent text on the films.
AF: AF is tr.s okay in reportage and
certainly has a tuff independent altitude. Especially pleasant is the variety of arts coverage. Bravo.
Common Ground: Searching for
amasseuse? A more spiritual path?
Heck, this longtime fave is still
going strong. A recent article on
the "dark side" of faith (ie. Monks
,ly)
s very interesting.
With this issue subtext leaps inlo
the world of computers. Aaaaah!
Splash. There, didn'l hurt at all.
Imagine being able to pose the
question," Anyone know of books on
the subjects of mermaids?" anytime
day or night to a wide audience that
might know the answer, or having a
heated debate over Writers who died
while dueling, then turn to a discussion to the controversial release
Mercy by Andrea Dworkin. These
three were all part of the fun & furor
lasl week on Mlndlink! BC's biggest bulletin board system.
I joined Mindlink on Oct. 3rd.
The massive role this technology
will play in our future is looming
ever closer so I thought I'd better get
cracking. And hey, I feel vaguely
like a cyberpunk goddess to boot.
Through Mindlink! you can
post to the Local group or Usenet,
which, for volume alone, is most
exciting. This puts you in touch wilh
1000's of olher users throughout the
Stales and beyond. You can read, or
add, "postings" on dozens of topics.
Two topics I've been accessing the
most are music and books. Through
the "nctmusic.rock"gro_p I've 'met'
many people (we're even trading
tapes) and "netarts.books" has proven interesting, too.
Il's not all fun, though. The
Usenet book group sometimes has
the most inane discussions, like a
recent "duel" between these two
jerks; the most I could make of it was
one guy, a writer, felt slighted by the
olher and, well, the gloves were taken off. As of this writing they were
still al it. Truly boring, luckily one
doesn't have to read each posting.
There are groups dedicated to
comics (from Akira to Superman),
science fiction, and poelry. People
review novels, hype their favourite
authors and ask questions. There's even
a haven for aspiring writers. If you have
a computer and modem you can check
outMindlink!(anline#576-1214,voice
534-5663) and perhaps arrange some
free online time as a test drive! As a
Vff member it's just over 10 bucks a
month for the basic package. I must
warn you though, it's addictive. Happy
Reading!
FREE reading material is available all over town! Best places lo
pick up stuff are record/bookshops
or community centres. Here's some
I never fail lo grab:
The Rocket: The Seattle fave. Mu
sic, mostly, bul the arts are there as
well. A must see if planning a trip
"down south."
Discotext: Hey it's back, wilh a
foldout design. Guide to the club,
Graceland.
HYPE/Snipehunt: From Seattle
and Portland. Wanna know the
newest, heppest bands around?
These freebies are worth getting
ink on yer hands.
Ubyssey/Peak etc: These University papers arc widely distributed.
The arts coverage at times is so
sincere, it's touching.
Georgia Straight/Nite Moves: 1)
They tell what's happening. 2)
Tourists appreciate it. 3) Lots 'o
free movie ticket give-a-ways.
Front: Gallery guide to the Western Front gallery (303 E. 8th). Coverage of events/showings as well
as articles on art scene here and
abroad.
Angles: The only gay/lesbian pub.
around. The news coverage is informative and lesser known arts
events are often profiled in time
for you to catch 'em.
VR/BC BookWorld: The two
book papers! The Vancouver
Review (VR) is hot. The writing is controversial (Rick Ous-
ton and his battle w/Lyn Cock-
burn of the Province, rocked the
last—ish.) and "literate" without
being stuffy. They've seem to
have lost my fave part, the
(teaming mad daffy duck graphic which graced the letters page.
Bring it back! BC BookWorld
happening on the publishing end
of things, reviews and slaps on
the backs to deserving writers.
Why not?
[Ed- And, of course, don't forge! about lhat lowly rag in your
hands right now. It loo is a free
publication which is widely
available throughout the lower
e Nort
'■■]
D.I.Y — do it yourself. Born
out ofthe DIY ethic is sub-TER-
RAIN a local magazine which
features fiction, poetry and artwork. Issue #5, Fall 91 is on the
stands now. This volume has the
winning entry to their first annual Penny Dreadful short story contest (and I do believe a
Penny Dreadful was the Victorian era's equivalent of a tabloid, such as Star) "On the Way
io Orillia She Buys Sunglasses"
by Carol Malyon, was also been
made into a fine lookin' limited
edition broadsheet. And hey,
Carol won 50 bucks to boot!
sub-TFRRAIN is having
another keen contest, this time
for all you poets. The theme is
"Poems For The End Of The
Century" and all the bonuses
that applied to Carol will apply
the rules: original, unpublished
"3     material, typed, 4 poems max.,
be postmarked by DEC. 31/91,
winner announced by Jan. 15/
92, judged by sub-TFRRAIN
Literary Collective made up of
6 readers (ncal-o). Okay, there
is an entry fee of eight dollars
(8) but gel this, you will then
receive at your doorstep the next
4 issues of this fine journal. Send
your material wilh a SASE to:
— Poelry Contest
I sub-Terrain Magazine
% #15 -2414 Main Street
| Vancouver, B.C.
£ Canada V5T 3E3
12  U^^SlSf^gJ^
PEOPLE ARE READING
Ever wonder what people are reading? I do. A great big thanks to everyone listed below who took the time to tell subtext just v,
were flippin' through this past year. It's proven to be a "popular feature" in these pages and will continue to appear. Yippee!
Oooh yeh, in 1992...subtext will be appear
every 2nd month, giving me a chance to create
for you, dear reader, a really rock-em sock-em
kinda column that's well researched and all
that jazz. Take care and, of course, happy
reading alway.	
February -12 Midnite
March - David Wisdom
April - Renee Rodin
May - Rick Gibson
June - Lisa Marr
July - Leigh R. Wolf
August - Randy Raine-Reusch
September - William Gibson
October - Nardwuar, the Human S
November - A nna Banana tim tt tim
Fun
ever Chmtms
9's my
' first suggestion
how    to
have lotsa fun
this X-mas sea-
k son. First, dress
~i extreme
I manner. Next
go to Eaton's.
Women, go to
the appliance section. Men, to the lingerie. Then go to the
cashier's counter. When someone comes up to you, keep a
straight face, look them in the eye & say. "May i help you?"
Christmas is kinda odd. It's not as gooa as St. Patty's day or
Hallowe'en, but it's still pretty cool stuff. Now i'm a tired & true
atheist, but i still enjoy getting—i mean, um—uh. giving gifts. Hell,
they can be fun even if you're doing the giving. Like, do you
happen to know any Yuppies or any just plain Baby-Boomers?
Okay, buy them something complex & electronic. Like a VCR.
Then, in your most patronizing manner, teach them how to use
it. This is my favorite way to make older people look dumb.
Well anyhow, how many people do you know who are really
into sports? Now. how many like sex? Here's an idea on how to
improve society that we should all wish for. Imagine malls
replaced every sports store with a sex shop/lingerie shop, and
vice-versa. Wouldn't life be a whole lot better?
So recently In Discorder: that mag from CiTR blahblahblah. the
Lunatic Fringe had a grammar lesson on the word "Fuck. Very
funny stuff Indeed. But. they failed to point out that Fuck can be
used as an interjection in & of itself thusly: "Fuck!"
But now i'm just being silly. Nothing terribly unusual. Silly is good;
let's talk about silly, or how to get silly, or more precisely, how to
do so by drinking. Christmas time is perfect for drinking. You've
got a month and a half with a perfect reason to drink. Plus it
keeps you warm If It snows. Here's my fave drink besides straight
vodka: the Teddy Bear (a.k.a. Polar Bear). Into a stemmed
coffee cup pour an ounce & a half Kahlua, then a dash of
Amaretto. Fill with the milkiest hot chocolate possible and top
with whipping
cream. Perfect for
nights when your lover just feels like cuddling but you're in
the mood to bone
the night away.
If we're gonna
talk sex. here's another fabulously fun
thing to do. Christ-
by M. Jules Kill,
mas Eve. Inner thigh. Get a tasteless & kinky tattoo to surprise
your mate with. Why not? Think of it as a piece of highly personal
On the art theme —I know this is supposed to be a
music mag. but i feel i have to suggest people help out painters
or sculptors too — go fo any of the galleries in Gastown and pick
up a cheap piece for any of your artsy friends. I suggest Smash
'cause they've actually got affordable stuff
Of course, all your shopping should be done around
Gastown since that seems to be where all the fab shops are
located. Which does make sense because in any city, the good
stuff is always near the beggars who are always near the touristy
shit. Besides, you can feed your vanity All those Florida idiots on
cruise ships will love taking your picture.
If you're cursed with a a politically correct friend, be
generous. Get them a a frontal lobotomy. They're all assholes.
I hate that fucking bunch.
So i'm trying to figure out what to get gift-wise for one
of my friends. It's tough 'cause i can't think of what she's really
into. I can't recall whata i got her last year (course. I can't recall
last weekend either). I think i'll cop-out & do what my parents do
when they're stumped for ideas: get her clothes Y'know. a shirt
with an eco-friendly message or something. She actually believes in all that. Of course the only reason i can say this is' cause
no-one i know reads this stuff. Or at least, who looks at the name
of the writer.
Anyhow. Gifts. The best gifts are unique. But that
doesn't mean you have to search for the one & only of something. You could just get a unique variation. There's this fellow in
my poetry class who has (well it's really his wife's) a baby blue
Blockhead shirt. Not white, baby-fucking-blue. I'm not suggesting you get one of hisshirts. though. They're too damn expensive
now.
You could always pick yourself up a new addiction.
There's got to be some potentially harmful habit out there that
you don't currently have. Some of my personal favourites
(though not that harmful): caffeine or nicotine, or you could go
all out and find an odd one. Sex in glass elevators with dead
farm animals. Benilyn DM. Or the creme de la creme, sucking
puss out of blisters. And while you're finding yourself a new
addction, lobby your MLA. See if you can get drugs legalized.
That would be a cool Christmas gift.
And here's one of my personal wishes while we're
talking fatal behaviour. If i'm due to die this joyous holiday
season, please let me be caught pitching the woo by a jealous
husband and then promptly shot dead. And if so. i know what
i want on my headstone. "Help! i've died and i can't get up."
Assuming your blessed with a ver, rent a movie, and
what the hell, copy It. Some suggestions: the Hunger, Mr. Mike's
Mondo Video. Repo Man. Koyaanisqatsi. and. of course, the
Rocky Horror Picture Show. I'd suggest starting your search at
Videomatica 'cause I hear they stock some pretty weird shit.
Don't have a ver? Use the one your stupid parents can't work.
Y'know what'd be great?
If we had control over our
own culture. I don't want
to be spoon-fed society's
pablum 'cause the elder
am
types don't think we can decide what we want by ourselves
We are not the pathetic, gibbering fools they were We know
what we like. And the stuff is out there
Now. i'm no music critic or anything, buf the best local
tune-age i've heard lately is on Spiral Record's new sampler.
Sound Generator Volume II. The best progressive/electronic
bands from Vancouver including: List of Mrs. Arson. Drill. Swanyard. Sect, Emily Faryna. Daed 21. Alchemist. & so on
Of course, not all gifts need be serious: some can be
frivolous. Thisguyi know. Billesh(andyes, Virginia, that is howyou
spell it) mentionea how he would like an inflatable doll of
Marianne from Gilligan's Island. Not for kinky purposed though
He just likes weird shit. He's given me a keychain with a cigar-
smoking Maggie Thatcher. Now that's something i really want
show my fervently British parents.
Fashion tip. Get yourself a uselessly thin. 2nd hand
trench coat for winter. Then when people ask if you're cold, you
can say no & proudly declare yourself a punk dilettante.
For myself, i'd like to meet some filthy rich, hedonistic,
educated anarchist this season. Sounds like that could be very
fun and profitable. That is. until i realize that someone who's a
lot like me, only richer, would be just as annoying and dangerous to my health. I'd still like to though.
If you're feeling generous, you could give away your
Morissey concert shirt. I would, but i' d feel like a commercialized
guppy if i'd Pought a shirt so i didn't. But fuck that was a cool
concert. When the people in the reds rushed to the floor,
beautiful. Here's a little tidbit of highly suspect, totally unreliable
information about the show that i heard. Apparently, it was
supposed to go on on longer (Seattle got two encores), but
when security couldn't control the crowd, they cut the show
short. Stupid gits. I would've loved a second encore.
Back to reality. What would i like for x-mas? Well. i' d like
to see the end of enviro-hypocrisy. Especially the idiots who
laughed at my dad for getting a recycling job before I was even
born. What the fuck, i'd like to see the death of every fucking
smug-assed Baby-Boomer. Face it. They truly are a bunch of
useless lepers. Their lives are shit.
But what i'd really like to see is people getting enthused, being vocal. It used to be simple to find people who
were angry about injustice. Thesedays though, blah. Apparently younger women feel they have no more need to fight for
equality-that they have enough & are content. What happened? Have the Baby-Boomers utterly brainwashed us by
relieving the 60's? These days people don't even want to go out
and have fun. I'm tired of
sitting around and asking
all my friends. "So. uh,
what do you want to do
to-night?" In fact, i wish it
were that good. Most of
the time it's "You wanna
do something?" I mean
i'd like to see action, life,
excitement. Then throw
in some mistletoe and lots
o' Bailey's Irish Cream &
we could have a decent
X-mas season. Peace.
DECEMBER (£ STICK THESE UNDEI
Shadowy Men On A Shadowy Planet serve a filling new platter of
twenty three beefy instrumentals for the masses. Having wowed
millions (ok...thousands) with last year's "Savvy Show Stoppers,"
they return in fine form with "Dim The Lights, Chill The Ham."
Available in all modem formats.
FOR OpSE)* STOMACH  f
with DIDJITS, ALIC
THE FLUID, DO
NAKED RA
BIG I Ft YOUR
CD and Cassette
A VOLS. I-V
ARE FOR LUNCH
IVANA, BABES IN
OS CREED, L7,
ALICE DONUT,
id JONESTOWN.
3CKS COVERS
OMPILATION
4ETHINCS GONE
WRONG AGAIN.
:e DONUT,
•UGHBOYS, I
YGUN, and
DRILL CAR.
THANK HEAVEN
FOR LITTLE GIRLS
cs-cd
MUDHONEY
Every Good Boy
Deserves Fudge
cs-cd
NIRVANA r
Bleach
cs-cd
cm® Okay pcople-if you think this
month's installment of Shindig is a
lad opinionated, you're right. I've
had enough of this boring, bias.,
butler-brained bullshit that passes
for live reviews of what is supposed
to be a vibrant, unpredictable and
chaotic event! Subjectivity and controversy are whal fuels Shindig year
after year, if the bands aren't going
lo provide it, dammit, I will. If you
don't agree, write a letter and tell me
to gel lost.
OCTOBER 21
Just Add Water—Sometimes if one
tries to be "original," "unconventional," or jusl plain "wacky," the
results can be disastrous. Especially
if one just doesn't have thai certain
je ne sais quois lhat separates the
truly inspirational from the rest of us
schmucks who are forever doomed
io tell jokes lhal only we laugh at.
No, Jusl Add Water weren't that
bad, just pretty darned close. "Those
who fear originality can leave now!"
exclaimed Mr. Lead Singer before
launching inlo ihe first of their intellectual-jazz-funk-rock numbers. If
boring lyrics and overplaying your
bass are sure-fire signs of originality, I 'd give Just Add Water full points
and leave il at lhat. What really got
my goat was one song which put
down the seventies (the decade of
my childhood!) even though their
music was the most derivative 70s
dross I've had to listen to all week!
The gall! What an insult! Oh heck-
nice try guys, (nol everyone at my
table disliked them as much as I did)
bul I ain't here to write wimpy critiques anymore. Just Add Water finished lasl.
Alien and the Psycho—I know this
funk-punk (here it comes...) CHILI
PEPPERS stuff is spreading faster
than the bubonic plague (and is about
as welcome in my books). I also
know that Alien and the Psycho have
enough redeeming qualities for them
to transcend the restrictions of their
genre and do somelhing really original. If you don't have a good drummer, it's lough lo play good music,
and Alien and the Psycho had one
hot, hot, hot, dynamo of a backbcal-
macstro behind ihc ol' drum kit.
Bolh the bassist and guitarist are
solid and fast, and the music was
16 E£^°ESS_lP}
driving, loud, and fun. My only big
complaint was that the singer had a
whiny and somclimcs annoying
voice which detracted from the music, although visually he reminded
me of a taller and ganglier Chi Pig.
I'd say the real saving grace for the
Psychos was their lack of posturing
or "we're so funky" altitude, which
makes most funk-rock outfits look
so ridiculous. If the Psychos used
more original ideas lo build on the
solid base they have now, I'd be won
over. Alien and the Psycho finished
in 2nd place.
Mystery Machine—This band has
to be ihc best-kept secret in Chilliwack, which is unfortunate for you,
and unfortunate for ihem. Quite simply staled, the Machine played one
of the mosl inspiring sets by a local
act I've seen in a long time. Yah
sure, "they're just another guitar
band," ihey play loud, and they're
influences are nol that hard to miss:
a well-blended mix of Sonic Youth,
Nirvana,and Dinosaur Jr. wouldgivc
you the general idea. To imply lhat
Mysiery Machine are simply rehashing all lhat indie-rock sluff would be
unfair: they can play, they can wrile,
and they can blow the roof off ihc
Railway Club. Mystery Machine
won ihe night and proceeded to the
OCTOBER 28
The Holy Cows—I really can't remember that much about this band,
which could be either a good or bad
sign, depending on how you look ai
it. Kinda garagcy and kinda inoffensive. There was one song which really stood oul above ihc others, which
allowed the Holy Cows to rise above
ihc competition and take # l spot for
the evening. Oh yeah, dig thalgroovy
papcr-mache cow.
Dose Pump—On reputation
image alone, I was expecting to
ly hate this band before Ihey
played a single note. Dose Pump
certainly fit into the Club Soda/Violet Addiction scene image-wise, but
when it came time for them to play,
my preconceptions were proven to
be somewhat erroneous. Again, a
lack of attitude (for the most part)
allowed Dose Pump's simple rock
songs to stand on their own without
a deluge of ooh-baby-yeah-yeah
shtick. Most of the music was based
on ripped-off Keith Richards riffs,
but whai's so bad aboul lhat? Rock
and Roll, maaaaaaan. Dose Pump
drew a solid second place.
Thee Crusaders—The first tunc I
saw Thee Crusaders I was overjoyed
to relive some old long-forgotten
youth group memories and have a
good laugh. Bul I suppose for most
people who had a more secular upbringing, the "joke" of Thee Crusaders has worn kinda thin. I still think
a group of non-Christians singing
folk-rock versions of spiritual songs
is pretty funny, but even ihe good
Lord above was probably covering
his ears this Monday night. Thee
Crusaders were exceedingly sloppy,
and performed some of the mosl
painful singing I've heard this year.
Apparently this was their last gig,
which might be a good thing. Perhaps it'll be belter for everyone involved if they pack il in and move on
lo other pcrsuits (or concentrate on
their odicrbands). Oh yeah-and since
they played mostly covers, ihey sort
of disqualified themselves anyways.
Thee Crusaders finished third.
NOVEMBER 4
Jesuit Refugee—I knew something
unpleasant was going lo occur when
the Railway began filling up with
obnoxiously fresh-faced young beer
commercial extras. I was right. Jesuit Refugee were perhaps the most
lame-asscd watered down shit I've
had to tolerale in my lifetime. What
made their performance even more
painful was the incessant cheering
of theirfriends/fans/hircdextras who
constantly satialed thei r need lo ho wl
and cheer everylime the lead singer
moved. Sometimes I think I'm being
loo critical and harsh of ihe bands in
this column; however, when groups
such as Jesuit Refugee rear their
ugly heads I can't help but do my
besl to stamp out thcirexistenceas a
musical entity as quickly as possible. Al leasl "jusuce" prevailed...
Jesuit Refugee placed a distant, dead -
as-a -doorknob, duller-than -ditch wa -
ter LAST PLACE. And I thought
3000 B.C. sucked. Shcesh!
Facepuller—Vancouver's hands-
down loudest band took the stage
next. Sporting only "half of their
shit," the 'puller slill managed lo
damage ears and move bowels all
the way to the dart games at the back
of iheRailway. I really can'l say lhal
Facepuller break any new ground
musically or lyrically ('cuz I can'l
hear the Iyrics!)~thcy're just real
damn loud. And with the pathetic
competition on this nighl it was no
surprise (to me, anyways) that
Facepuller took first place.
The Way—Not as foul and pestilent as
Jesuit Refugee, Ihc Way were just
really dull. Sorta second rate hippie-
folk Dire Straits. Ihere was a glimmer
of hope as they pounded out an extended guitar solo which actually really
kicked - but maybe lhat's because I
used to listen to nothing but Pink Floyd
when I was fourteen. I've got this
strange appreciation for guitar wanking. Anyways, The Way finished in
second place.
NOV 11: SECOND ROUND SEMIFINALS
The victorious few gathered together
again for an all-slar rematch. Here's
how the judges saw il:
1st Place: Mystery Machine
Il was no surprise to me lhal the
'Machine took the night's big
prize. Some complained diat Mysiery
Machine sound "loo derivative," others thought their hair was too long. I
thought they kicked bull.
2nd Place: The Holy Cows
The surprise runner-ups, ihe
'Cows managed lo convince enough of
die judging population lhat their no-
frills approach lo ihe good old
rock'n'roll song was worth gelling excited about. I liked 'cm more than I did
in the preliminaries, especially because
diis lime the singer destroyed their paper mache cow. Next time they should
set fire to it. They also win the Rory
Tail's Obtuse Lyric Writing Award for
"don't you know that sperm..whales..
go..deeeeeeep!"
3rd Place: Facepuller
Nah, Facepuller didn'l deserve to
come in last, but unfortunately that's
the downside of being graded on a
curve. Tonight ihe 'puller sounded better and more inventive lhan ever before
- but they still seem to me to be hampered by a lack of real ass-kicking
songs. I don'l mean I wanna hear some
"catchy hooks", just something lhat
drills into my brain and won't let up.
Personally I think the drumming
and guitar playing relies too much on
standard, tired-out "punk rawk." It's
just a theory, bul I diink if Facepuller
spent some lime moving away from
song structures and into pure power-
noise mania, I'd be more enthusiastic.
Yup. lhat's all folks! Third Round of
Shindig is now underway al the Railway;
come on do wn to check it out. Th ree bands,
Jokes for Beer, lotsa fun. The finals will be
at the new Cruel Elephant on Friday, December 13. Don't be late.    Bye for now!
PROFESSIONAL QU4L/TV
RECOBDINOS
Fully equipped 8-track studio
Live sound room and full MIDI sequencing
Musicians and services available
DEADBEAT STUDIOS This is the resurrection ofthe hotbed
of Discorder. Ifyou are interested in
helping us become aware of what's
happening as far as the local music
scene goes or if you just have something interesting to share (no, that
doesn't include personal problems
or good restaurants) contact us at
Vancouver Special
CiTR Radio,
6138 SUB Blvd
Vancouver, B.C.
V6T 1Z1
The people you will be contacting
are: Redd McJann and Coral Short.
Halloween at the Cruel Elephant brought together two bands
that I have wanted to see on the same
bill for a while: Superconductor and
Facepuller....oh yah... and Dogzilla
and Victim's Family acting as sandwich bread. Nirvana covers for everyone. Bul ihe rock 'n roll question
Vancouver Special asks is should
the new members of Superconductor vie for space on the new Small-
ercruelclcphant stage with a multi-
round Sumo wrestling tournament
or should ihey jusl give all die space
to the ones with the hot licks and all
the stylish moves?
Alien and the Psycho played
on "Live From Thunderbird Hell"
pul on by Nardwuar on CiTR, November the 7th and they ripped il up.
Tunc in Thursdays at 9 or 10-ish for
good Canadian music and happening local bands playing live. Odier
bands playing arc Sparkmarker, Just
Add Waler and GoGuy.
LOCAL DEMO REVIEWS
SPARKMARKERAtthe Seaweed
gig which was pul on by Kim, bassist
of Sparkmarker, the new (well sort
of new) Sparkmarker demo was acquired. It was surprisingly better than
I remember them being live, having
seen them several times. They are
definitely a good band-they have a
Fugazi/ NoMeansNo sound. How
much more likeable can you get?
KISS KISS N BANG:...Had me
writhing in my bedroom until die
constriction of my crushed-velvet
jumpsuit rendered me immobile. If I
wanted to be honest, I'd say listen to
Skin Yard instead of sufferthis abuse.
I hope the nasty pain in the small of
my back goes away and the folks
that pawn themselves off as role
models for clothing stores don't jump
in die natural decision of red hot
funk/ metals like their last outing
'Stray Kids' seemed to initiate.
SWEATERSThe Sweaters sent us
a demo lape, so I'll listen lo il now.
They sound sort of pop; well at least
the drumming does. The singer will
need some Neo-Citran to drink with
the sore throat that he's going to gel.
I like il, but wouldn't buy it allhough
they gel pretty rock'n roll at limes.
The instrumental "Grey Owl with
the X-ray Eyes" was cool and shows
how The Sweaters incorporate a lot
of different styles into their music.
The bass guitar rips during "Come to
my Senses". TotaUy high on CiTR's
DJ charts.
LASTGENERATIONThe Herbivores demo Sowelu is a funky mix of
reggae and trippy synthesis stuff. I
know lhat sounds like a bad mix but
it comes across quite nice. However,
I prefer older reggae. Eitheryou like
reggae or you don't. What else can I
THE WAYSTRELSIf you like the
Maritimes, if you like citrus fruit in
beer, if you like the way Scottish
people say "you bloody bastard"
you'll hke die Waystrels. Not-too-
wimpy authentic folk, chock full of
moralistic outlooks on war and general violence. HarrnT matey.
THE WHEATCHIEFS:The Wheat
Chiefs demo has some kind of potential but I'm not really sure where.
Maybe in Edmonton because that's
where they're from. It sounds like
something you 've heard before-style
maybe of Chemical People and early
Channel Three-and at times they
come across as heavy metal.
MURDEROFCROWS:A4piece
from White Rock; I can't help but
think these guys are gonna be incredibly boring Coast 800 pap if
they get a record contract. I like the
demo for its self conscious appeal
though. Atmosphere is an electric
modern rock...er, uh, culling edge,
matey. After I rewound il and listened to it again I realized lhal the
rest of the demo is a mellow production toy, making one feel as
though trapped in an elevator with
Unrest and the Northern Pikes.
PHINEAS GAGE: ..Three song
demo. I started reading something
half way through the first song and
before I knew il the lape was over.
Sorry Phincas, maybe next time.
THROTTLE BODYMosi cool
cover art by Thorn Whalaen. More
heavily produced rock bul the lead
has a way of cooing condemnation
that's pretty swell. After that it's all
kind of humpy teenage goose pimple stuff. Someone give me the zip-
code for Beehive so I can throw this
one  back where if belongs.
JACK FEELS FINE:Dry, dead
leaves and a black and unite photo
graph lying amongst them arc on
the cover. As well,the cassette sports
a lie-dyed label. An extremely
kicked back band. They are solran-
quil il is unbelievable. During the
song "Uncle Eugene's Tractor", Ihe
singer makes Indian chanting noises while ihe second song, "Somebody Died On T.V." is way more
pop. Jack Feels Fine arc similar to
the Posies with a Uttle sprinkle of
ihe Skydiggers. They are on the
charts at CiTR so thai must mean
something, eh?
SOCAN:Yah, this ripped! "Lies,
Lies, Lies" by Socan, produced by
Marc Stewart-I think this info is
correct; il was all very confusing
because il didn'l have a cover. A
good lighl hardcore lunc. Boy, afler
you hear this you know lhat punk
rock is not dead.
PICTURE PAINTINGS: Pleasurable listening. Grapes of Wrath
with a kick, a iwist. more energy,
Talent and Funk. My roomate says
they are beal-ish and country-ish
and R.E.M.-ish.
E.W.I.G.: I'm glad I saved this one
for lasl. All the best ideas of Cop
Shoot Cop without the annoying
ulcsof a warped medley containing
lx>w Rider, some Beatles songs and
the Three's Company theme. Pure
genius on a ninety minute J VCGI90
normal.
Oh yah, as many know, Ten
Feet Tall have broken up. Kyle, the
lead singer quil and is starting up a
new band. He is totally optimistic
about getting back up on slage in the
next few months. He left the band
for iheir lack of motivation, which
he seems to have a lot of. Best of
luck lo bolh bands. Hope the lyric
suing thing works oul if it hasn't
already.
Upcoming gigs include
S.N.F.U on Dec.6 at the New York
thealre for a whopping twelve bucks.
Guest Quest Co-Op are providing
Vancouver with anodier local hardcore extravaganza at the Arcadian
HaU (Main'n'Kingsway) on the 7th
of December with some any or all of
these bands; Procreation, BNU,
CarniferousRaunchFux, Sludge,
Truk, Mystery Machine and Laughingstock (from Victoria) for a mca-
sely six bucks, ihis Guest Gig is a
benefil for ihc funding of future
Guesl gigs and had belter be supported by all of you if ye kow whats
good for ye.
If you want to send us YOUR
demo, send it lo the address at the
beginning of the column. Our goal
for next month is fourteen demos!
< fUtUtie
BY TARA SLOAN
Welcome to Future Rap! Whai's on
this month's agenda? Well, a few
recent, and some more recent releases have been waiting to be reviewed.
If you are looking for something totaUy "Phunky" 1 strongly
suggest you pick up the Cypress
Hill CD. These rappers incorporate
some Spanish lingo, phunky rhyming styles, and crazy samples galore.
The style these homes flaunt is hype
and it's easy to get into, and hard to
get oul of. Some truly slammin' hils
are. "Hand On The Pump" (DOPE),
"Latin Lingo," and my absolute favourite, "Psychobctabuckdown"
(Yeah Buddy!). Each homes flows
with rhymes landing right on the
beat. These guys are totally right on
the beat, totaUy hip, and use their
talent lo create a fuckin' funky loop
of tunes lo groove lo. Don't get me
wrong, this is nowhere near to being
on thedancetip. It's just chill... .'Ihese
brothers were "Bom To Get Busy."
Did you know that Sister Soul-
jah, a new "limited" member of
Public Enemy, has released a CD-
single? It contains 4 tracks (I J> version, Radio version, Instrumental,
and Acapella) of the song titled, The
Final Solution; Slavery's Back In
Effect. Ihis hit suggests that since
blacks (who were tested) did not
meet up to standards they were below the average educational level
and slavery should be placed back in
effect. Sister Souljah screams "We
arc ar War!"and the noisy music sets
in. She warns her people lo beware
of who is an enemy and a friend.
Although Sister Souljah doesn't reaUy have a greal rapping voice, but
rather an angry yell, she manages to
pull off this serious tune. Her lone is
strong, concerned, and best of all
determined to make clear her posi-
3rd Bass has just released the
3rd Bass Theme a.k.a. Portrait ofthe
Artist as a Hood including 3 mixes
on it. Doesn't this title sound familiar? Yes, because it is from the Def
Jam/ Columbia release, "Derelicts
of Dialect," that was out some time
ago. This new stuff doesn't seem io
meet up to their previous LP. Less
originality? Less flavour? I dunno.
Yeah, Compton's Most
Wanted has done it again. What a
smooth deal this latest shit. Straight
CheckN'Em.,is. This 13 track CD is
produced and arranged by DJ SUp
and Unknown. 'Ihc intro slides and
glides over past hits; a reflection of
the last release. Explicit lyrics are
dropped, funky loops are tossed, and
accented lyrics are rolled. Some topics discussed are gettin' gafflcd by
the cops and caught with possession
of drugs. (Hah, Hah! Heh!) The hit
from Boyz N The Hood, "Growin'
Up In Ihe Hood", appears on this
CD and here bitches" n money come
into discussion. If you arc aware of
Compton's Most Wanted's style,
from the last CD, well, il continues
onto this one. Ihere arc plenty of
samples used as is ihecasc with most
rap releases. "I Don't Dance" as well
as, "Drivcby Miss Daisy" arc intelligently written and these brothers
continue to maintain that of being on
lhat other deffer, level. Check!
AboveThc Law has come oul
with a special EP called Vocally
/>im/>in'.Ilconlains9tracks, 3 iracks
being different remixes of "4 ihe
Funk of it" which is an upbeat, surc-
to-bc hit! Slam! "Play Your Game"
discusses various types of females
and how to deal wilh ihese many,
what-sccm-to-be-complicated, situations. "Wicked" is a real smooth
release lhat hopefully will receive
much airplay. Crazy high-pilched
whisUes squeak throughout, "Dose
of the Mega Hex," and head-bobbin' bcals keep the listener busy.
This release's executive producers
are Eric "Eazy-E" Wright and l.ay-
law. Cold 187um and KMG know
exactly what lime il is. Iheir kickin'
the vocab on the reality lip as they
sec it, as the funkcllcs and ihc new
funkalccrs add exlra vocals lo some
of ihc tunes. Who's "Livin' Like
Hustlers?" You got it
Ihc boyz holding ihc
ATL!
Upon taking another listen lo Biz
Markic's recent release / Need a Haircut, I realized that this
guy has lalcnl. A lot of
ihe songs, such as
"Road Block," and
"T.S.R."arc really humorous. Ihc Bizkicks
crazy knowledge
about relationships,
lessons to leam ("What
Comes Around Goes
Around"), and die life of a confused
kid actin' ("Buck Wild"). This 13
track Upc is produced by Biz Markic
for Biz Markic Productions ....Piano
chords are dropped, scratches
arc...scratched(?) and Biz's lingo is
slabbered and slobbered but Heady
babbled. Thank goodness and respect due to those who arc able to
maintain their Style and originality
and can slill make it and be down!
From Seattle comes a superfly
cassette single: The N.W. Posse
featuring MC Over Dose's Upc < on
sistsof 2 hot tunes called "What Up
Black," which has a freaky synlhe-
sizcrhappenin' in the background .is
well as mega-doscs of George
Clinton (Parliament) samples, and
on the flip-side, "I lot Mama," which
is sire to get plenty of attention. NK"
Over Dose has got the rhymes and
definatcly knows what time il is!
I-ct's hope lo hear from this crew in
(he near future. "Kickin'lhc Bass In
Your Face!" Word
The RightcoiH Black Guerillas have a 5 song tape called The
Ansars. "Not a Dance Tunc" is a
flowin' hit with samples of Public-
Enemy and thanks sent out lo several black leaders who play an important role in the spreading of the
Muslim religion. 'Ihese Righteous
Black Guerillas are doing iheir duty
lo spread the truth and their messages arc deep. Give these brothers a
chance. "As-Salaam-Alaikum."
I managed to catch a real quick
listen loTim Dog's new cassette. I
summarize ,l,n a lew simple words:
Ihis brother from the Bronx docs not
like N.W.A. and has made it very
clear throughout the majority of the
Someone borrowed my new Ice
Cube Death Cerlificale and has not
returned it yet so you'll have to wait
until the next issue lo sec this review.
Damn! Ihis Cube is causin' major
controversy for real. I le's already been
on the news for making so-called indecent racial comments directed towards
the Koreans and ihc Jewish communities, ihc release is very explicit and
indeed will be offensive to many listeners. Cube stnkes back al N.W.A. with
a song called "No Vaseline," and discusses ihe necessity and use of precautions, and the outcome of not being
protected, during sex. Ice Cube has
shaved himself bald and has picked up
on the teachings of Muhammad. This
has definitely influenced some of his
written material. I WANT MY TAPE
BACK NOW!!!
Who deserves the position of# 1
talent this month?! Well this should
come as no surprise....Cypress Hill.
Keep Kickin' the Phunky Lingo
Holmes!
DECEMBER © DAS ICU DIE
Propheten Danse
Macabre
If you need a brief respite
from Einsturzende Neubauten's
latest recording you might give
Das Ich a try. This German
group's CD release Die Propheten offers a similarly dark vision of humanity. (Too much
Niclzsche?) Clearly on the pessimistic, gothic side of ihe musical spectrum Das Ich's sound
relies on a brooding heaviness
lhal is set off against vocals that
are a mixture of Blech and ,if
you can imagine, Joel Grey (circa Cabaret). The lyrical content
is all blackness, despair and
pessimism and deals with subject matters such as self-loathing, hate, war, betrayal, and any
other number of bad human
traits, ihis is truly a depressing
litany, yet done with enough cleverness to be fun. Particularly good arc
the tracks "Es 1st Ja Kricg (It Is
War)", "Satan's Ncue Kleider (Satan's New Clothes)", " Kain Und
Abel" and "Frcul". So...before you
go lo celebrate the end of die cold
war and die dawn of the new world
order give Das Ich a whirl.
Peter Sickert
THE MUFFS
"New Love" 7" single
Sympathy     For     The
Record Industry
Here's a great new single
to remind us about real rock and
roll; the kinda stuff that guys
like the Beach Boys and the
Ramones made. Excellent, melodic punk-pop-rock and roll.
This band features two ex-Pandoras, who left the band al ils
heavy metal peak to discover
real music again, fun music. And
the Muffs is it. This record has
three great songs on it that feature amazing harmonized vocals
from everybody in the band:
Kim Shattuck (ex-Pandora bassist) on lead guitar. Melanie
Vammen (ex-Pandora organist)
on rhythm guitar, Ronnie Bar-
net on bass, and Criss Crass (famous all over the West coast for
including  being  a
tbacks
•77!) on drums. The Muffs hail
from Orange in California and
arc a really greal, greal band.
They've been lo Vancouveronce
before, but only a pocketful of
people saw 'em, so next time be
there...it's really fun!
Grant Lawrence
MR. T EXPERIENCE
"Sex Offender"/"Last Time
I Listened To You" T' single
Vital Music
ihis is the best single of the
year. It puts Nirvana's "Sliver" io
shame, hence, why il is so very hard
to find. Too bad, it's the best, I mean
it.TheMr.T Experience is one of ihe
more popular "fun punk" bands dial
emerged mid-cighlies and arc slill
keeping die torch steadily burning
here in '91. A friend lold mc lhal
MTX were finished, lhat ihey had
run out of songs; my friend, you are
fucked. "Sex Offender" is one of die
truly greal anthems of rock and the
flipside, "I-ast Time I Listened To
You", is so fucking good my needle
constantly skips while I 'm playing it
because I'm stomping up and down
in raw satisfaction of good music.
End of review.
Grant Lawrence
DEAD SURF KISS
Narcotic Nirvana
BMG
YOW! I was expecting a
grungefesl, since the majors
seem to be drooling over ihis
type of band these days, what
with Nirvana, L7 and Mudhoney
gelling the royal treatment usually afforded logo-metal bands,
ihis band opened for Pearl Jam
lasl month and, apparently, arc
parts. So why does this album
sound like sloppy death melal?
Was there a mix-up al ihc plant
and were the cassettes accidenl-
ly filled wilh the new Morgoth
LP, or what? These guys defi-
nately need a leather wardrobe
and a logo, or at least a Violet
Addiction ad. Allhough the lyrics aren't about steaming entrails and souls rendered like
wishbones, this is the worst metal riffing I have heard since the
last Exodus mess. Actually, the
second half of the LP gels belter
and "Jesus Saves?" and "Midnight Under Her" tend to rock
okay but this hardly makes it
worth your time. And why do
they mention North Hollywood
so much in the credits? Dave
Ogilvie does a good job produc
ing this, as usual, but Dead Surf
Kiss should throw their pitch to
the metal kids, 'cause the thrash
crowd won't dig this.
MOFO
THE SMITHEREENS
Blow Up
Capitol
The firsl exposure I had to this
album was at work (1 work in a
record store). I was filing away some
CD's when ihe firsl track, "Top of
the Pops,"
I had n
* t he-
album, nor did 1 even know whal
record was being played, but I remember asking a co-worker, "Is this
die new Squeeze album?" Imagine
my embarrassment when he lold me
it was the Smithereens' new one.
Blow Up. Could've sworn lhat was
Glen Tilbrook singing lead. Funny
in ing is (funny "ha-ha" or funny "peculiar"), after hearing the second
song, "Too Much Passion" I had io
go and actually look at the CD cover
to convince my self lhat it wasn't Jeff
I lealy! Al any rale, now I am reviewing il, and Blow Up docs not entirely
sound like Squeeze material, or Jeff
Ilealcy, for lhal matter.
The group's sixth album may
not be anything surprising or innovative bul they stiU have a knack for
combining slick vocal style and
smart-ass lyrics with a jumpy college bar band beal. "Gel A Hold of
My Heart" features Carlene Carter
on backing vocals and has a country
rock ring to it. "Girl in Room Twelve"
will cause you lo digress to iheir
previous album and ihc single "A
Girl Like You." One exceptional cul
is "Evening Dress" in which singer
Pat DiNizeo stretches his vocals and
sounds remarkably like ElvisCosteUo
of late. "Indigo Blues" is an attempted plunge inlo Slevie Ray Vaughn-
land with a stick in yourhead chorus.
"Anywhere You Are" has a distinctive Doors keyboard sound and is
arguably the most unique and intriguing cut off the album. Hold it, is
diis one of those damn tribute album
dcalies, or whal? Who cares. The
point is, while the Smithereens may
not have walked the musical tightrope on this one, they're still good
enough, smart enough, and doggone
it, people like them.
Lee-Ann Hooker
THE HAFLER TRIO
Kill the King
Staalplatt (Holland)
This ii what industrial music
was before slimy Al Jourgensen gol
his milts on it. The HaflcrTrio follow the obscurity method lhal Zoviet France uses: putting their works
out in elaborate,odd packaging, without liner notes, and barely identifying themselves al all on the disc. Ihc
album consists of seven songs, which
only register as one track on the CD,
which means you gotla fast forward
lo the song you wanna hear. But,
then again, if you're twisted enough
to buy diis you'll want lo sit through
the whole 73 minutes every time
anyway, won't you? Well, I would,
but I'm funny thai way. The Haficr
Trio arc a self-described "sound research group" whose work solely
relics on the nature of sound and
frequency mangling. The music is
very ambient and unsealing for the
uninitiated, evidenced by my room
mates wanting to cul my appendages
off afler ihc firsl 15 minutes. After
45 minutes I wanted lo cul my own
appendages off, too, but that's what
I like about industrial music. No
point recommending diis to anyone
:e this is
'I get it
easily anyway. However, fans of
industrial music without a beat will
loooove this.
MOFO
BLUR
Leisure
EMI
So there you are, -linking it is
safe to lake off those love beads and
use those lie dyes as dusl rags, reckoning that ihis sixties retrospect
might be peetering oul and along
comes Blur. Boy, have these guys
got news for you. Don't fret, they
promise, il'U be practically painless.
"Shc'sSo High", the first track,
mixes echoey vocals wilh richly textured guitar and a hummable, albeit
repetitive, chorus. "Bang" a song
aboul ihe drudgery of everyday life
(a favourite subject among British
dance bands), is a memorable, catchy
dance Iune and nol surprisingly the
album's second single. If you' ve not
heard of Blur at aU think of ihem as
The La's with an attitude. One problem though is that while musicaUy
they've mastered the art of emulating
the era of psychedelia lyrically ihey
sometimes miss the mark. A case in
point is "Bad Day": "Do you do
anything you do?/ Do you wanl anything you want?". An apparent attempt at cleverness winds up being
boring and repetitive. Luckily, there
are enough exceptions to save the
listener. One irack, ironically tilled
"Repetition", is a good example.
Reminiscent of XTC's, Dukes of
Stratosphere venture in die mid-cight-
ies, il's a loopy, senseless plunge inlo
paisly, straight from the backward
guitar solo to the nasally EngUsh
accent of Blur's lead singer. Winning the award for mosl interesting
cut is "Sing" with its dreamy lyrics,
yel plunky, unrelenting piano
throughout. Just when you're set lo
drift into a comfortable coma guitars
dripping with feedback invade ihc
song's sleepy, trance-like mood. I lol
on its heels comes "There's No Other Way", the funky dance orientated
first single. Other potential hit material includes "Fool", "High Cool",
and "Birthday", the ultimate ode lo
self-pity.
With aU ofthe psychedelic influenced stuff available lately Leisure manages to go the extra mile
and present it in a bcUevable fashion.
And if ihis review doesn't convince
you check out die album cover, ihe
flowered rubber bathing cap is reason enough lo buy it.
Lee-Ann Hooker
UNLEASHED
Where No Life Dwells
Century Media
More run of the miU death
metal. MusicaUy, they draw far too
heavily on olher bands. They blend it
together well, and show promise, bul
there are only smaU hints of originality. Lyrcially, there's jusl die usual
crap: corny and uninspired. There is
a standout, "And the Laughter Has
Died", wilh a Sabbalhy feci and nifty
lyrics aboul kiUing trendies: "Man of
fashions flow-die!/Timc has come
to say good-bye/ We spit on your
grave...". In case I was being unfair (I
couldn't lake their silly Norse myth
references seriously) I asked "Shad",
Aryan and Thor comics reader, for
his comments: "Total Sepultra wannabes. I've heard those riffs somewhere [Slayer] before."
Dave
MOFO'S PSYCHOSONIC PICKS O' THE MONTH
This month this cat is going to
give you a handy and quick guide to
the TV star-cum-song stylist scene.
I will leave out ihe ones whose shows
cast diem as singers such as The
Monkees (did you see Mickey Do-
lenzon Acting Crazy lasl week? The
guy is a charades GOD!) or David
Cassidy (the poor sap who's comeback NO-ONE lakes seriously even
though the LP doesn't suck THAT
bad)). I'm gonna Ulk about the ones
whose managers decided it would be
a wise career move lo jam them in a
studio to bark out a record in time for
sweeps week. I guarantee, this stuff
is PROPER!
LEIF GARRETT: This yoyo
starred in a TV show which I cannol
remember the title for. It must have
been a hot item for the year it was on
because he was poster boy for that
year and came out wilh three lps—
the last two which are very hard to
find. This stuff is steaming bad.
Campvalue-45%- You would have
had to see the show.
Cover pose - Full shot. Height of
'70's fashion (or fans of DEE-Ute).
Girls buy this seductive look.
Style - Cheap pop.
Hit single - Who gives a damn.
DAVID SOUL: Starsky, I
diink, or was it Hulch ? Low acting
talent except for Salem's Lot. This
guy appealed lo fans of Bread (don't
gel mc started on Bread, man), eked
a living doing Fantasy Island and
Love Boat and probably sells Am-
way now. Camp value - 65% - Good
music for the socially retarded.
Cover pose - Close shot Lotsa ferns.
Wicker, lhoughlful, sensitive pose for
the Folgers crystals crowd
Style - Ballads, baUads, baUads.
Hit Single  - "Don'l Give Up on Us
Baby".
JOHN TRAVOLTA: You
know him, you love him. My favorite
Scientologist who blew a good role (for
him)in Look Who's Talking by bedngin
the sequel Losta variety in the music as
a result of the musical work but the
earliest stuff gels most laffs at parties.
Camp value - 99% - (pre-Grease
stuff;gems!) - 75% - (Grease and beyond; people over 25 know all the
words, even though they deny it) Cover
pose - Head shot Barbarino smirk.
Hil Single - "Let Her In" (excruciating).
DISHONOURABLE MENTION:
DON JOHNSON - This puppy's last album was so bad lhal
he had to go back to his old job
of leeching off of Melanie Griffith. His stuff is too sad to even
be cool. Pick up Philip Michael
Thomas' LP Living TheBookOf
My Life for some solid laffs, if
you can find it.
GOT A TRULY OBSCURE,
TRASHY OR ODD, RARE LP
THAT WOULD THRILL ME?
Just send the name of the record
(only vinyl counts) and yours
truly will hunt it down. Leave
one to blame (plus I'll shell out
and send you an equally odd LP
for the effort!).
Do Mikes Have More Fun?
FIND OUT FOR YOURSELF. JOIN
the club. For information write: Mikes of
America, Box 676, Minneapolis, MN 55440.
Gift memberships available.
18 nf^gsmsma, THE EVAPORATORS
House Party at 13th and Nanaimo
Friday November 1
Most people who've been
around and have come around in the
"alternative rock not" spectrum of
this town have (even though they
may have not been fully aware) seen
the Evaporators or at least heard of
them. Ycah.they'rethebandfronted
by Nardwuar of CiTR and, yeah, the
Evaporators are lhat band who play
al die beginning of aU the Nardwuar
Extravaganza shows. On occasion,
the Evaporators are appreciated for
their extremely exuberant performances but most often they are unfortunately on way too early being
Ihe "sound check" for most Nardwuar shows. Every time the Evaporators are a knock-out of something
for whomever does see them but,
ironicaUy, the Nardwuar Blowouts
are not die most opportune chance to
check them oul.
My best Evaporators' experiences have always been al olher locales and seperate gigs. I've seen
'em on Halloween, at outdoor parks,
on Whidbey Island, highschoolgyms,
even in the fucking Commodore at
the iU-fated Tankhog "CD and cassette only" release show. Little did I
know diat after seven years of seeing
the Evaporators everywhere my best
experience would hit me on a drunk
night at the bassist's house. It was
some sort of stupid "post HaUow-
een" party on Nov.l and a bunch of
people, excluding myself, were
dressed up. And, yes, the Evaporators were scheduled to play that very
party. They set up in the bassist's
bedroom on the main floor of the
house and quickly rocked. Absolutely amazing. TotaUy absorbant punk
music incredibly dished to myself
and a bunch of shocked vampires,
mimes and "hippies". Let me now
say that most of the cUentel at diis
siesta were idiot-people; fucking
dopes. I don't know where ihey came
from, anyway s there was only ahand-
ful of people rocking to ihe group in
that bedroom. They totaUy pounded
oul song after song, organ piping,
drum set rolUng over, guitar buzzing
like a fucking saw, and the bass, oh
the bass! This huge classic Fender
bass slung so low it was giving its
master bruised shins. He plays the
thing through a MarshaU guitar amp
so, yeah, it sounds good. Nardwuar
was a bit passive at this time; not
knowing whether lo go quite nuts yel
or not. He was screaming, pushing
people and convulsing but not quite
rampant, yet. Everything was roUing
beautifuUy, sounded great, more people started lo dance/push, then—
STOP! The bassist's roommate -the
co-host - some stupid freebird hip-
pic-chick waved a slop lo the punk
saying the cops were there. Of course
nobody but her sawthem. So, stopped
in mid-song (in the middle of a spe-
Pegboy: Kai Korinth
up and close the door. So Nardwuar
did it again. Bursting into the room
with the Evaporator's hit "Citizen
Freak" lo back him, he auempted lo
put a slop lo insultingly peaceful
drumming. Kicking and punching he
was in and out bul this time one of
ihem followed him. It was once again
the "other" roommate who had already once put a stop lo a good dung.
"John!" she shrieked ("John" is Nard-
1 name). Nardwuar, ralher
shocked by an enemy in his territory
remained sdenl as did the Evaporators awaiting more from this demon
of beads and buckskin. "John! John!
she repeated. "John, stop it!". A chorus of "Fuck you", "Eat shit" and
"Eat me" arose from the pent-up
Evaporators spectators. "John, I Uke
it. I like what you're doing...just slop
coming into our space!" she pleaded.
Nardwuar, realizing he had power
over die situation, screamed back in
her face, "Why don't you come oul
here and we'll have a contest and
we'U win!!!". He then gave her the
finger. As she lumed and retreated
back to her beat-haven Nardwuar
confidently gobbed on the chick's
back. Everybody in the room was in
hysterics as the Evaporators launched
into another song.
After a couple of minutes the
hippies eventuaUy gave up, picked
uplheir kitchen-ware and left. While
ascending up die staircase we bid
them adieu with a wave of middle
fingers cocked in their direction
Good ridancc, ch? ihc rest of the
evening was fairly uneventful. The
Evaporators ran out of songs and wc
rial number called "Ooo I'm Pregnant") the Evaporators took a break
aU the whUe conspiring to go down
to the basement in a few minutes to
start up again.
And so they did. Now down in
the basement there were two rooms:
one which die Evaporators set up in
and one that all the hippies had gathered in to drum. That's right, drum!
They all had bongos, pots and pans,
shaky things and aU this percussion
shi t and were drumming up a fuck ing
storm enough to wake BiU Graham
from the "Dead". Of course the immediate waU of hatred went up: punks
against squares. The Evaporators im -
mediately started and immediately
drowned the tribal beat next door.
The hippies simply and passively got
up and shut dieir door to block out
most of the obnoxious rock. Of course
Nardwuar took this as a personal
insult (who wouldn't) and mid- song
look a run al thedoor, busting through
it, screaming inlo the microphone,
while knocking over drums and
drummers alike. Like a cyclone of
teenage hate he was in and out before
the flower children's children could
react. AU they did was once again get
aU decided to caU it a night staggering off inlo East Van's darkness.
Once again, the Evaporators
legend Uves on. If any one of you
kids out there ever wanl to be reminded of a really satisfying lime,
where you can leave a gig feeling
confident and refreshed, then find
oul where Nardwuar and his fabulous Evaporators are playing next.
They wiU be sure io one-lime you all.
Grant Lawrence
THE FLUID
ZIPGUN
STEEL WOOL
O.K. Hotel, Seattle
Friday November 8
This being the Fluid's first show
in a year and a half—and me missing
their last show because one of the
guitarists broke a finger causing them
lo cancel- I wasn't about lo dare
mess upon this opportunity. So, within hours, I was on the bus foaming al
the mouth widi the chance to see this
great Denver combo.
Upon arrival at ihe always
packed, always stifling hot, O.K.
Hotel, the crowd displayed a veritable plethora of band icons-of-the-
week: a Mudhoney here, and a Tad
overlhere.herea Fluid, thcreaGreen
River, everywhere a Screaming
Tree.. ..Anywho, local noisemongcrs
Steel Wool hit die stage going full
dirolUc ihrough a set thai sounded
just like dieir name. Abrasive, hard
and sometimes a little funky these
guys did indeed know how io put on
a show. Their antics on stage were
living proof of whal was written on
the guitarist's l-shirt: "I'm hooked
on oriental drugs". Truer words were
Zip Gun let loose on the crowd a
very tight n' fast 3 chord punk rawk
assault lhat had me runnin' for cover.
These ex-DircUcts showed why ihey
were one of Seattle's longest running bands around and why marriage
hasn't spoiled their image. Look for
the Direlicls' latest (and last) effort,
Don'jWWujLive.onSUBPOPand
Zip Gun's 7" on limply Records.
The Fluid rule! Whal more can
I say? Their sel consisted mostly of
new material (and it sucks lhal I
couldn't get il on lape because wc
won't see ant vinyl in die near future)
which had slage-divers flinging them -
selves around wilh no mercy and al
one point almost shorting out bassist
Man's amp because of his cords gel-
ting ripped out from overeagemess.
Those tunes, mixed with favorites
likc"BlackGlove"and"Candy"from
Glue, "Is II Day?" and "Hooked"
from Roadmouth and even "Cold
Outside" from Clear Black Paper,
proved these guys arc ilching lo show
everyone that they surely deserve a
record deal and claim to mapr league
status. Somecomedy reUcf came in the
form of Matt Lulcin from Mudhoney
bounding toward the fronl of the stage
screaming, "Do a song for me, pleee-
ase!" Wilh vocalist John replying,
"Okay, this is (put song here) by Mau
Lukin". From the back of the crowd
came, "Fuck Mau loikin!", which had
both the band and the crowd in hysterics as wc all turned to see that it was
Mark Arm who made the witty comeback. All in all, this is a show that I'll
remember for quite some time and
until the next record comes oul. Viva
La Fluid!
Noah Pinion
Peg Boy
Two-dock*
Loot Bag
Cruel Elephant
Thursday November 14
I didn't get to see Loot Bag,
however, Ihaveno regrets. Twerdocleb
played lo a suspiciously enthusiastic
crowd. Ildidn'lsccm to matter lo their
friends that the bass burbled out of
context and out of control. Neither did
they mind the outrageous abuse of ska
in some energetic bul sloppy songs.
Pegboy's frontman began their sel in
style, flipping everyone off and strutting around like the frat boy he could
have been. Hiscomposu re broke though
when the bass player's amp blew. The
singer exhausted his limited supply of
stage chatter within the first ten seconds of the crisis. Finally, a gracious
soul lent them his amp and the show
went on. The band recovered well and
ripped into the remainder of their musical selection with confidence and
gusto. On the whole, the set was fast-
paced and driving, punctuated by outbursts of ego from the lead singer,
culminating with my personal favourite, "Hard Light".
Mindy Abramowitz
mxc^PUCcnA
presents the newest R&.B room In town
in the HOTEL CALIFORNIA
Nov. 19-21
Nov 22-23
Nov. 25-29
Nov. 30
Dec. 2-7
Dec. 9-14
Sundogs
A Special Appearance:     Dutch
Mason with the Drew Nelson
Band
Gary Stevens Dand
The Clyde Roulette Dand
Harp Dog Brown & The Bloodhounds
From Chicago: The Shirley
Johnson Band
Mike Jacobs Band
$WDEm$iNmmEmni.D.
1176 GRANVILLE 688-8701
CiTR
MOBILE
SOUND
228-3017
DECEMBER ^) bi) Chris Uren
There he sat, a broken Grinch.
Drool infested the stubble around
his mouth and chin, his eyes were
glazed over, and his body was
hunched and drooping. From time
to time he would slowly nod off,
only to snap back into an upright
position soon thereafter.
"Willie," slurred the Grinch
thickly, "Get me another shot."
The voice was so pitiful, so desperate, that Willie obliged, even
though he knew that it was illegal
to serve a man so obviously intoxicated.
The Grinch drank his boiler-
maker pathetically, making slurping sounds and keeping his eyes
shut tight. "Another one, Willie,"
he cried, after what seemed like
just moments.
"No," Willie Who replied,
fighting his natural Who tendency to beaccommodaiing. "You've
had enough, Grinch. Besides, your
dog is still outside waiting for
you. Thing's gonna freeze cut
there ifyou don't get goin' soon."
"The dog ain't gonna freeze,
Willie. That's one tough dog."
The Grinch had become painfully
sociable now, and was rambling
in a slurred, sing-song way. "I
ever tell you about that dog at
Christmas time. Shit, I tied a pair
of antlers to his head, and a four
ton sleigh to his tail, and that little
mutt marched to the top of Mt.
Crumpitt without so much as a
whimper. He ain't gonna freeze
out there."
"But let me go on about that
Christmas, Willie. That was the
year I..."
"Look, Grinch. I've heard
that goddamn Christmas story
about a million times by now." It
was closing time, and Willie was
becoming one impatient Who.
"Yer done your drink, so it's time
to get the hell out. Go home,
Grinch."
"Aw, hell, Willie. That's no
way lo talk to your best customer." With that the Grinch made
20 H^^nrErMJi
for the exit. But the inebriated
Grinch didn't make the exit. No,
he took a mighty spill. The
Grinch fell over a chair, cracked
his head on a table on the way
down, and finally came to rest at
the base of one of Willie's pool
tables. The Grinch was out cold.
Well, Willie Who was a
gruff man, but he was OK. He
took the Grinch to Whovillc
General, where the doctors
looked over him and decided the
Grinch needed chest X-rays to
find out if any ribs had been
broken. One of the doctors, a
young Wilbur Who, asked Willie why the Grinch looked so
familiar.
"He's the guy that almost
stole Christmas, back in '57. A
little before your time. Doc, but
you've probably seen him on
that video they always show
around Christmas time. He used
"Oh, that's right," replied
the doctor, pretending to be interested in a has been video star.
"So how come he's so down and
out these days?"
"Well," said Willie, feeling the need to defend the Grinch.
"He's had woman problems.
After that Christmas thing, the
Grinch moved inlo town. He
opened a hardware store, and
was a respected member of the
community. Sometimes he
would get a little mean, and rumors would start that he was up
to his old tricks. And occasionally he would do something a
little weird, like take a leak in the
gas tank of old Wanda Who's
Chevy, but for the most part, he
stayed calm. Then he fell in love
with young Wendy Who. She
was only 17 at the time, but the
two of them seemed to hit it off.
She thought it was pretty cool to
hang around with an old pop
icon like the Grinch, and he
thought she was the greatest
thing since sliced bread. But then
she left him for another guy. Some
guy named Kurt Cobain, the lead
singer for a rock band called Nirvana. Anditjust broke iheGrinch.
That was about three weeks ago,
and the Grinch has been on a
binge ever since."
Willie went back to the bar,
took the Grinch's dog Max in,
and gave him some beef jerky. In
the meantime, the doctor took his
X-Rays, and came to a startling
conclusion. "The Grinch," said
doctor Wilbur, "has fallen too
hard. His heart has moved." Doctor Wilbur took his findings to the
chief of surgery, an older woman
who had been with the hospital
seemingly forever.
"Are you sure the Grinch's
heart hasn't just shrunk, Doctor?
1 know the Grinch has had lhat
particular medical ailment in the
past." The chief of surgery had
also seen the Grinch's video.
"No, ma'am," replied Wilbur. Wilbur always called women of authority ma'am. "See on
the X-ray. His heart has moved.
It's still big, but it's no longer in
the right place."
"Well, doctor, I guess we'd
better prep him for surgery and
attempt to rectify this situation."
The chief of surgery was admired
for her decisiveness.
When Willie got back lo
Grinch, though, he was bewildered. There sat the Grinch,
awake, alert, and preparing to
leave the hospital.
"Mr. Grinch, what are you
doing?" asked Wilbur. The doctor in him noticed that while the
Grinch's eyes had become an
evil red, his mouth had reshaped
itself into a permanent frown,
and his fingers were nervously
drumming. The good doctor also
noticed thai the Grinch had
shaved himself, and was neat in
an anal retentive way matched
only by Pierre Trudeau, to whom
the Grinch bore an uncanny
resemblance.
where I belong. Where is my
dog Max." The Grinch's voice
patronizing and full of disdain.
"Willie Who hadhim down
at the Dew Drop Inn. But you
can't leave. You're sick. Where
will you go?"
"I can leave," replied the
Grinch emphatically, "and I feel
better than I have in years." The
Grinch then exploded into a
malicious grin, chuckled, and
said with hatred, "As to where I
am going, I will tell you, young
doctor. I am going to steal Nirvana's popularity. Then I am
going to make sure that Kurt
Cobain dies a painful death."
The Grinch then broke out into a
howl of laughter that was more
befitting a Halloween character
lhan a Christmas one, and he left
the hospital. "Look out
Whovillc," he shouted, as the
hospital's automatic doors open
for him. "The Grinch is back."
The first stop for the Grinch
was the Dew Drop Inn, where he
picked up his old compatriot
Max. Max was getting on, bul
the old fellow still had amazing
powers of stamina. He also had
ihe dogged acceptance of a bom
victim, and the Grinch loved him
for it. "I'm sure before all this is
over, I'll think of something creative lo lie to your head," ihe
Grinch lold Max, as ihe dog
looked at him stupidly. "But first
we must arm ourselves. Third
amendment rights, you know."
The Grinch, with Max in tow,
then left the Dew Drop Inn, but
nol before replacing three of ihe
pickled eggs Willie kept in ajar
al the bar with mothballs from
the establishment's toilets.
The next stop, naturally
enough (for Whoville is an
American town in ihe same way
that Nirvana is an American
Band) was the gun store. The
Grinch was careful to mind his
manners in the gun store, and the
fact lhat he had never been convicted for trying to steal Christmas entitled him to purchase a
handsome, double barrelled .306
shot gun, otherwise known as a
"thirty odd six."
"When this sucker rains, it
pours," said the gun store proprietor with easy humors. "It's a
little more expensive than the
mail order version, but I can see
you're in a hurry."
Well, the Grinch was in a
hurry. He hurried back downtown to the local record store,
and bought the new Nirvana CD.
He tossed the actual disc on the
street outside the store, but kept
the back cover. You know, the
one with a picture of Kurt Cobain trying to look tough by giving everyone that paid 20 bucks
to hear his album the finger.
"Look at thai little fuck," the
Grinch said to Max. "Thinks he's
the first guy ever to give somebody the finger. What a snot-
nosed little puke."
The Grinch then returned
to hiscave just northof Whoville
to work out the details of his
plan. "The plan," he told Max,
"is to make everyone hate Nirvana, then to off Cobain. See, if
I just waste the guy now, while
they're still popular, I create one
of those obnoxious little cults
like Jim Morrison still has. And
I've got to do it all by the end of
the week, 'cause that's when
Nirvana will be in town, and
that's when I want to see that
Cobain twerp die."
The Grinch spent the next
day talking to representatives
from Whoville's commercial
radio stations. He had intended
to threaten them with an advertising boycott if Nirvana were
notdroppedfromcirculation, but
was amazed to find that the commercial stations weren't playing
the album anyway. "How the
hell does it sell 500,000 copies if
nobody plays it," screamed the
Grinch at the station representa-
"Well, I don't know, Mr.
Grinch, but our demographic indicators show that their is absolutely no demand for us to play
the new Nirvana album," sniffled the reps.
"Yeah, right," agreed the
Grinch sarcastically, as he sent
them on their way back to
Whoville with a swift kick in the
ass.
The Grinch was more successful with the cable music video station. "I've got some really
compromising pictures of two
of your V.J.'s that I'll bet would
ruin your ratings. Pull that Nirvana video, or I'll see that these
prints become front page news."
Nobody at the station seemed to
doubt the veracity of theGrinch's
bluff, and the next day the video
was taken out of circulation, officially because it showed wholesome cheerleaders in unwholesome positions.
As far as the distribution
end of things went, the Grinch
returned to methods that he had
used in the past. He and Max
would wait at the edge of the
highway until a mail truck came
along. Then Max would run out
onto the road and pretend to get
hit by the truck, forcing the truck
to stop. Then the Grinch would
spring onto the road, brandish
his new shotgun, and order the
truck driver to give him everything with a DGC logo on it. It
was a time consuming procedure, but it took a hell of a lot less
time than trying to steal Christmas did.
Well, by the third day, the
Grinch knew something was still
wrong. The Nirvana show had
sold out in a matter of i
The CD's that did get through
were selling faster than proverbial hotcakes. His plan was failing miserably.
Now they say that fate has
a way of intervening at critical
junctures, and that is especially
true in when the forum is fiction.
Just when it looked as though
the Grinch was stymied, at wits
end, defeated by the Nirvana juggernaut, an amazing thing happened. The Grinch's phone rang.
"Hello?" asked the Grinch.
suspiciously.
"Hello, is this the Grinch
who stole Christmas," said a
bored, pompous, thin British
voice on the other end. When he
was assured it was the Grinch
who stole Christmas, he continued. "I understand you're trying
to destroy the popularity of Nirvana? Well, I just want to tell
you that you 're going about it all
wrong. The number of records
they sell is irrelevant. So is the
amount of commercial air time
they get. What you want is lo
make them uncool, unhip. You
wanl them to be thought of the
way Sting is now: laughed at. If
Sting were shot in ihe head today, do you think there would be
any mourning? No way. There
would be a celebration. 'Good
riddance to bad rubbish' they'd
say. That's what you want, isn't
it?"
The Grinch was seething
with annoyance at the utter pom-
posi ty of the callers voice. "Why
do you want to help me?" he
asked, always suspicious.
"I too hate Nirvana," said
the Englishman in a voice so
laden with boredom it threatened to lapse into coma. "In fact,
I hate that whole genre of music.
Imagine, people going out to hear
bands, with those loud, raucous
guitars, and socially interacting,
rather than staying in their rooms,
neurotically festering under tlieir
sheets while listening to my
band, the Smiths. I just hate the
idea."
"You are flat out fucked in
the head, buddy," said the
Grinch, hoping for reaction.
"I know," said the voice,
drifting off into a new, more
ethereal dimension. "I thrive on
The Grinch wasn't sure
what to do at this point. He was
loathe to accept the advice of a
such an annoying personality but
he had to admit that there was
something to be said for the
content ofthe conversation. And,
as he reflected further, he had
made a similar mistake before
when he had assumed that stealing Christmas trappings could
break the Christmas spirit. "I
may be a mean old son of a
bitch," the Grinch told Max, "but
I leam from my mistakes. Maybe Nirvana's popularity has noth- ing to do with the number of
records they sell. But if that were
the case," thought the Grinch,
"how could I break them? Then
it dawned on him. The obvious,
awful source of Nirvana's popularity: College Radio.
The next morning, the
Grinch and Max headed up to
Whoville U., to find the college
radio station. The Grinch was
ready for a showdown of some
sort. Max was bowed and forlorn as usual. At least a dozen
people denied any knowledge of
any campus radio station before
an angst ridden teenager took
time oul from his manic depression to give the Grinch directions. And so, the Grinch stepped
into the lions den, without his
trusty thirty odd six but with his
pal Max, to face the most supportive Nirvana fans of ihem all.
Even ihe Grinch's cold, cruel heart was nol prepared for ihe
sight thai awaited him in the
college station. In one room,
draped all over couches and reading music trade magazines from
all over the country, were some
twenty or so young Who's. They
wore colorful shades of black
clothing, and had a uniform skin
tone that was the same yellow/
grey lhat one finds inside a raw
potato. Their hair was either ludicrously long or ludicrously
short, and their faces wore the
disdain and boredom usually
associated with Macdonald's
employees. They all had nice,
expensive accessories though,
like earrings, wrist watches,
chains and leather (black, of
course) jackets. "My how the
childrenof the middle class have
fallen," laughed the Grinch to
himself with delight.
For beyond being just an
evil old man with a propensity
for thieving religious holidays,
the Grinch was very perceptive.
And when he looked at these
middle class kids who abstained
from everything, he saw the
smirk in their hearts. He saw the
disdain they had for their society.
He saw their smugness and their
huge, unwarranted egos. In short,
he didn't see a bunch of young,
jaded Who's when he looked
about the room. He saw a bunch
that derived great pleasure from
mocking the simple joys of others. Yep, the Grinch saw a bunch
of young, vegetarian, Grinches
in this room. For in this story,
Grinch is a state of mind, and not
a type of being.
"You want something,
grandpa," asked one of the smug
little twerps.
"I came to talk about the
new Nirvana," replied the
Grinch, his voice dripping hatred.
"It fuckin' rocks," said the
twerp, all cockiness.
"Bul il's on a major record
label," replied the Grinch, understanding why this group
would relate to Kurt Cobain and
his middle finger.
"Just...just because it's on
a major doesn't mean it sucks,
right?" This youngster had lost
his cockiness, and was looking
to his companions for support.
"Yeah, just because it's on
a major doesn't mean anything.
Besides, what kind of music do
you like, old man?" A new twerp
had taken up the battle.
The Grinch, however, was
prepared for this question. He
pulled two imaginary band
names out of his head, and replied "I like the Snotnosed Pukes,
and the Pale Music Fascists,
myself." The fact that neither
band had ever existed was a boon
to the Grinch, for in this environment, the more obscure the band,
the more highly regarded. "But
only their early stuff," the Grinch
added, for effect.
His gamble paid off, and
his words were met with silent
nods of approval. To admit to
being unfamiliar wilh a band,
real or imaginary, was an epic
faux pas around here.
"But let's get back to the
new Nirvana," said the Grinch,
ball firmly in his court. "It's on
the same record label as Ricki
Lee Jones, it has to suck." The
black clad little clique stared at
him impassively, unconvinced.
"It'ssold 500,000 copies, it
must suck." Still, the Grinch got
no reaction.
"OK," went on the Grinch.
"think of them as REM. It's all
fine and dandy to say you never
liked REM. but I'll betyou'reall
lying." The Grinch noted he had
a captive audience now. "So, if
you want to say you like Nirvana
now, just remember lhat thcir
ncxt album might sell five million copies. It'll be as big as
REM. Then, the commercial stations will pick it up. And when
someone says 'didn't you used
to like them,' you'll have io cither lie, or admit you did like
them. Just like REM." And with
that, the Grinch turned on his
heels. "See you at the show,
kids," he said in parting.
Needless lo say, the
Grinch's astule reading of Who
nature served his evil purposes
well. Nirvana went from the lop
ofthe college charts to ihc depths
of 'lameness.' Bul ihe high drama was slill lo come, at the big
show that Friday night.
The show had been sold
out for weeks, and the band had
expected to find a rabid crowd lo
greel them. Kurt Cobain had
toyed with the idea of playing
only songs from their 1 st, commercially unsuccessful album,,
or perhaps just doing a seventy
minute version ofthe screeching
bonus irack on ihe new album.
But record company reps had
won out, and the decision was
made to reproduce the album
note for note at the big show.
But old Kurt was in for a
surprise. Instead of a big, frothing, enthusiastic crowd. Nirvana was greeted by a small group
of bored-looking youths, an
eighty year old Grinch in a trench
coat, and decrepit old dog. Most
of the Who's in Whoville hadn't
even bothered to show up. Boos
greeted Kurt's opening statement
of "Fuck you all, shitheads."
More boos greeted the opening
cords of "Smells like Teen
Spirit." Something was desperately wrong and out of synch.
Kurt and the band launched
into "I'm on a Plain," but that
piece of accessible music just
made things worse. Beer cans
started to fly from the small audience.
Then it all fell apart. Kurt
tried to reaffirm himself as the
Jesus of Cool by falling into his
famous 'finger' pose. They
laughed. The crowd laughed at
Kurt Cobain and his magic finger. "Whatta goof," they shouted derisively, "go back to L.A."
And most devastating of all,
"Where's Micheal Stipe." It was
all too much for poor Kurt to
handle and the band retreated to
their dressing room in disgrace.
The crowd filed
fied at having achieved a goal.
The Grinch had the same
faction but he headed towards
the Nirvana dressing room rather than the exits. It was time to
;t his revenge.
What the Grinch found
backstage, though, was not a
pretty sight. Kurt Cobain sat,
drinking the imported beer his
rider demanded, crying into it.
'They laughed at my finger
pose," he blubbered to himself.
"Nobody thinks I'm cool anymore. Somebody ought to just
shoot me now."
"Somebody will," said the
Grinch, pulling out his shotgun,
which had been sawed off so he
could smuggle it past the Neanderthal bouncers at the show.
"Now, where's Wendy Who?"
"Oh, who knows," Cobain
bubbled. "Who cares about all
that. I think she took up with
Thurston Moore or somebody."
Then he returned to his blubber -
ing. "Lord, just end the pain.
Nobody thinks I'm cool anymore," he said.
Well, the Grinch obliged.
"Never...never, fuck with a
Grinch," he told Kurt Cobain.
And he blew KurtCobain's smug
little pin-head all over that dress -
ing room. Then he put down the
shot-gun, and he and Max headed out into the night. The roadies, who had always privately
laughed at the goofy chip on
Cobain's shoulders, told the cops
it was a suicide.
As you must know by now.
Nirvana fell into historical ob
scurity as a one hit wonder.
The smug college kids ignored
them, and even the story of
Cobain's suicide couldn't revitalize interest in the band. In
fact, all those kids that had
bought the Nirvana CD's ended up returning them to used
record stores for fear they may
get caught with that CD in their
collection. "I found it in adraw-
er when I moved into my new
apartment," they would tell the
record store clerks, as if they
cared.
And the Grinch? Well, last
I heard, he was in Manchester,
doing the world a public service,
and gunning for Morriscy. f
m^LnSk
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Tuesdays 3*-SF**IV
iThe Cranes  Wings ot Joy (Dedicated)
2 Kathleen Yearwood Dead Branch-* Make a Noise (VOTT;
3Bongwater  Power of Pussy (Shimmy-Disc)
4 Deep Listening Band Trogk>dyte'sDelight(WhatNext?)
SOrdoEquitumSolis SolstltllTempofl-.Sensus(MMM)
6 Bleach Snag
7 Elizabeth Fisher Post Pop tor New People
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10 Bright Like Ice Bright Uke Ice 7* EP (Smarten Up!)
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SScattered Few	
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•91  Remix We Will Rock You
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2SUB POPsicle	
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7Cold Nipplesicle	
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lOGishsicle...
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1 Fred Frith  Gravlly
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3John Lurie  Strangers In Paradise
4 Various Artists-sound track Disappearing Worlds
5The Last Poets  Right Onl
6 Various Artists Modem Sounds: CAGE Poetry Compilation
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Def Jef     Soul Food (Delicious Vinyl)
8B Hamish Moore & Dick Lee The Bees Knees (Festival .Green Linnet)
B0 Poesie Noire Tabula Rasa (An tier .Subway)
81 Rabbit Choir  High Fidelity Hare Cuts (Looseleaf)
82 Ann Lederman Not a Mark In this World (Aural Tradition . Festival)
B3Wailers Band  Majestic Warriors (PolyGram.Tabu)
84 Generation X  Perfect Hits 1975-1981 (Chrysalis)
""Aster Aweke Kabu (Sony. Columbia)
86 Crust Crust (Trance)
87 Nell Young  Weld (Warner. Reprise)
Head of David Seed State (Mute)
88 Various Artists Veteran DJ Jamboree (Ras)
00 Queen Mother Rage VangloriousLaw(Cardbc.Black Watch)
01 Hole Pretty on the Inside (Caroline)
02 Various Artists History ot Vancouver Rock- Roll: Volume4(V.RC.A.)
1 Furnaceface	
2lndecisives	
3Furnaceface	
4PerfumeTree	
5Jack Feels Fine...
6SkinBarn	
7 Jimmy Roy s5Star HJIbllies...
-MA-tfl_TICPAtTTYC_i_THK5q
Down the Drain
Good Intentions
While My Dad Gentry Weeps
Death In Primetlme
ve Died onTV Again
Midnight Ride
Blt& the Things Oracle of Banality
B Roots Roundup 1/2 Pipe
10 Luddites Traki
11 Kathleen Yearwood O'Kanada
12 Excited 1st Daughter HammerSong
13ShowBusinessGlant5 Let's Gel Together
14Ten Feet Tall I Used to Be Crazy
15 Evaporators Vampire Blues
16Sllpshods Levttate
17 Sweaters Hold Yer Own
18 Windwalker Chains
IBWheatChiefs Redeem
20 Ten Feet Tall Beat of the Sun
21 Son of Man Only One Place for
22PerfumeTree Dreaming
23 Terror T Shouts Out!
24 Herbivores Pressure Cooker
25 Dimestore Hoods Run Spot Run
26 Planet of Spiders She's My Girl
27 This is Our Dough ter So Alive
28 Jack Feels Fine Uncle Eugene sTrallor
28 TheTasteof Giving The Double
30 Mi ns fret on Speed Lying
31 Matriphlles Modern Theology
32 Shine BeautlfulSon
33Hoofarump Relapse
34 Show Business Giants World Is Too Crowded
35 The Somethings Four'tllLate
36 Random Killing Ritual Killing
37 Picture Paintings The Man Who Would be King
38 Planet of Spiders Porchllght
38 Ngoma	
40 Uneven Steps Do Tell
41 Cat's Game The Sniper
42 Huevos Rancheros Huevosaurus
43 GoGuy The Room
44 Sweaters The Pop! Thing
45 IT Satan Guy
46AndyO Black Children
47 Big City Groove Pah
48 Lovers* Madmen Uncle Wily
48NervourRex Sunshine Girl
50 Thud	
PECEMBER 91 SHORT GROOVES 5Q
I Undertow/Resolution Split 7* (Overkill)
2Crackerbash Holday7"EP(lmp)
3Zipgun *10*7*(eMpTy)
4 Windwalker /Tankhog... The Kflnt Is a Terrible Thing to Taste Spit 7* (Mint)
5Supersuckers Junk 7* (eMpTy)
6Lung Psychopo model la 7" (Scratch)
7 Just Say No/Tesco Vees Hate Police Spit 7* EP (Staplegun)
8 Superconductor "The Mosl Popular Man In the Wood* 7" (Scratch)
8 Paper Tulips 3-song 7" EP (Flipside)
10 Disposable Heroes of Hphoprisy... *Mwl*>n th« Drug of lh« Nalton" 12' (4th & B'way)
11 Leaving Trains "Rock'n'Roll Murder* 7* (SST)
12 Mono Men Booze 7* (Estrus)
13Grotus 'Mother ot Pearl* 7" (Smelly)
l4Mudwimln 3-song 7* EPOmp)
15 Pell Mell *Smoke7*BringontheChlna*7*(SST)
16TheGits Spear* Magic Heimel7* (eMpTy)
17 BlackAngels Death Song Nothing Equa_Nothlng 7* (Dionysus)
iBThe Mortals Disintegration 7* EP (Estrus)
18 Curve "Frozen" CD-5" (Virgin.Charisma)
20 Shadowy Men... /Change of Heart Split 7" (Cargo)
21Vegan Reich   7" EP (Hardline)
22D-Nice "25TaUle"12"(Sony.DefJam)
23 Truly Truly CD-5" EP (SubPop)
24 Antiseen "Psycho Kilter /"Heavy Mud" 7" (Jettison)
25 Hypnobvewheel *Wow*/*KMG-3«6* 7* (Alias)
26TheGrifters TheKlngdomofJones7"EP(Doink)
27PopDefect Game ot Fear 7" (Dionysus)
28 Stereo MCs "LostlnMuslc"12"(4th&B'wcry.lsland)
28D.C. Beggars You're So Pretty But You Make Me Sick 7* (Rathouse)
30 Captain Condoms Kinda Kool 7* EP (Public Bath)
31 Drone Voice of Reason 7* EP (Vinyl Communications)
32 Hell Billys "DragstrlpGIrr 7* (Dionysus)
33 Dweezil Zappa "Vanity* CD-5* (Barking Pumpkin)
34Dr.Atoan *NoCoke"12*(BMG.Arista)
35 Genbaku Onanies Forward Command Post 7" EP (Public Bath)
36Lady Fresh "Black ChlldKllla" 12" (Valley Vue)
37Quiverpuss "Conjure Upa Man" 12* (Facebat)
38TinaChopp "Story ot My Ute" 7" (Wheezing Panda)
38X-Tal "Damp In the Trenches* 7* (Alias)
40 Icky Boyfriends 4-song 7* EP(C&P)
41 Various Artists Lost & Found Compilation 7* (Lost & Found)
42Phunhogg "UUca* 7* (Davies Productions)
43Failure "CountMyEyes'/'Comlort* 7* (SweetSmelling)
44JettisonCharlie -Probably Die Poor 7* (D'EMs)
45Shamen "Move Any Mountain* CD-5"(Sony»Epic)
46 Electric Ferrets *2-3-4* 7* (Dionysus)
47 Heroin 6-song 7* EP (Vinyl Communications)
48 Sam Hill The Right Side ofTlme" 7* (Forehead)
48 Oswald Five-O "ALoveSupfemeTCrushproorrOmp)
50 Moss Icon Memorial 7* (Vermin Scum)
22 s_3^sii]ixj__in SUNDAYS
ARE YOU SERIOUS? MUSIC 6:00AM-
12:XPM The newest new music
and information on concerts, recordings, and composers with host
lan Crutchley.
THE BRUNCH REPORT 12:00-12:15PM
News, sports, weather and more
with the CiTR News, Sports and
Weather Departments.
THE ROCKERS SHOW 12:15-3:0OPM
Hosts: George Barrett and Mike
Cherry. Reggae inna all styles and
fashion. Dancehall,Dub. Roots, Lovers-rock, Rock Steady, Ska and be-
IHE SUNDAY MAGAZINE 5:00-5:30PM
All the days news, weather and
sports. Plus an indepth interview,
movie reviews and more. Hosted
by Luc Dinsdale.
HEAR SAY 5:30-6:00PM CiTR's literary
arts program needs YOU to submit
your works for on-air performance
or reading.
MAURY'S GOT THE NIGHT OFF 6:00-
9:00PM Kooky antics, current irrelevant issues.Joe Jackson,Pankow,
Ice-T, Hellbastard, and your cool
requests. Hosted by Karen
Toddington and Lloyd Uliana.
GEETANJAU 9:00- 10:00PM Geetanjali
isa new one-hour radio show which
features a wide range of music from
India. This includes classical music,
both Hindustani and Carnatic,
popular music from Indian movies
from the ]930s to the 1990s. Semi-
classical music such asGhazals and
Bhajans. and also Quawwalis. Folk
Songs, etc. We will also play songs
from variousregbnsof India.in all its
rich and diverse languages. We will
try to present a 5 minute talk about
Indian music, instruments, singers,
musicians, etc. based on the research that we conduct every week
to inform and educateyou. Hosted
by Jyoti Dhar and Pradeep Kumar
Nandam.
RADIO FREE AMERICA 10:00PM-
12:00AM Join host Dave Emory and
colleague Nip Tuck tor some
extraodinary political research
guaranteed to make you think
twice. Bring your tape deck and
two C-90s. Originally broadcast on
KFJC (Los Altos, California).
MONDAYS
THE MORNING SHOW    7:30-8:15AM
Wake up with the CiTR Morning
Show. All the news, sports and
weather you need to start your day.
Plus what s happening at UBC eacr.
day with UBC Digest, a feature in-
terviewand more. Topped off with
the BBC World Service News at
8:00AM, live from London. England.
Hosted by lan Gunn and Antje
Rauwerda.
BREAKFAST WITH THE BROWNS 8:15-
11:00AM Your favourite brown-
sters James and Peter offer a
savoury blend of the familiar and
exotic in an excitingly luscious
blend ofauraldelights! Tune in and
enjoy each weekly brown plate
DON AND GOURDS STUPID RADIO
SHOW 11:00 AM-1:00 PM Random
selection, multiple exposures. DA,
Dust Bunnies, and a mission from
God.
THE AFTERNOON REPORT 1:00-1:15PM
News, sports and weather.
MEKANIKAL OBJEKT NOIZE 1:15-
3:00PM CiTR's only all Industrial /
technical / electronic show with
different feature albums every
week. With your dj pal, June. Cevin
Key likes some of you.
THE CITR DINNER REPORT 5:00-5:30PM
All the latest on campus: news,
sports, an indepth interview, the-
mentary and more. Weekdayswith
host bn Gunn.
AUTHENTIC AMATEURISM 5:30-6:O0PM
The sports show that seethes with
insight while staying at one with
thesportsworld. Hosted by BillCurry,
who always gives 110%. Focusing
on local, campus and amateur
BOXER SHORT BOYZ 7:00-9:00PM Just
a couple of guys who like to walk
around in their boxer shorts with
their big fat guts hanging out.
Jerome Broadway and Garnet
Timothy Harry alternate weeks.
THE JAZZ SHOW 9:00PM-12:00AM
Vancouver'slongest running prime
time jazz program. Hosted by the
ever-suave Gavin Walker. Features
at 11.
2nd Tonight s feature is a tribute to
an unsung Jazz great named
Salvatore (Sal) Nistico, one of
the finest tenor saxophonists in
the game. Sal passed away earlier this year (aged 50). One of
his finest albums (recorded in
Germany witha German rhythm
section) is presented tonight.
Great Jazz!
9th Some rare recordings by two
bands led by drumming great
Max Roach (post Clifford Brown)
from the mid-fifties. Kenny
Dorham(trumpet).Sonny Rollins
and Hank Mobley (tenor saxo-
North America. Not to be missed I
llith One of the best big bands in
the word is from Canada. Rob
McConnell and the Boss Brass
make a welcome return fo the
recording studio in 'The Brass is
back'. Many of the great starsof
the Canadian Jazz scene are
music tradition, hosted by Dave
Langille.
CONTENTS UNDER PRESSURE 1:15-
3:00PM Spinning the best (and
sometimes the worst) playlist material, bringing a variety of music
styles from places you'll not hear
on any other radio statbn... seriously. I appreciate all requests. I
work best under pressure and the
it that I
wonderful recording. The Brass
best to date.
23rd Thirty-seven years ago on
Christmas Eve in New York (Dec.
24, 1954) one of the greatest
recording sessbns took ptace. It
was an all-star date ted by Miles
Davis and it featured Milt Jackson (vibes), Thelonbus Monk(pi-
ano), Percy Heath (bass), and
Kenny Clarke (drums). The musical standards hereaffected Jazz
right up to now. Christmas was
never the same either. Merry
Christmas
3oth The year ends with a great
deal of warmth and soul as we
present a set by one ofthe great
tenor saxophone tag-teams in
Jazz history. Gene Ammonsand
Sonny Stiff with the Don Paterson (organ) Trb. 'Boss Tenors in
Orbit'...good Jazz is forever.
Happy New Year!
TUESDAYS
THE MORNING SHOW    7:30-8:15AM
Hosted by Antje Rauwerda and lan
MADONNA DEATH WATCH 8:15-11:00
AM Mornings havent been the
same since the Friendly Gbnt was
caught pbying with Rusty too many
times and Mr. Dressupate the nose-
candy. Morn- core with Bryce and
Scooter.
DOG'S BREAKFAST 11:00AM-1:00PM
Dog's breakfast. 1. A mess: low
Gtasgow (-1934) 2. Confusbn: turmoil: Australbn:sinceca. 1935. Tune
in for inept pandemonium, hitarity
and fairy tales - with your exquisite
hostess Helen G. Yes, there is life
beyond news.
BLOOD ON THE SADDLE l:15-3:0OPM
Country musbtoscrapethecowshit
off your boots to. With yer host-
poke Jeff Gray.
LIVE FROM VENUS 3:00-5:00PM
Women- made music and stuff,
hosted by Jane lilley.
THE REAL DEAL 6:00-7:00PM If it ain't
rap then you know it's crap.'-Eazy-
E. Hardcore rap with your hardcore
rap host Terror T
THE UNHEARD MUSIC 7:00-9:00PM
Demo Director Dale Sawyer pro-
vdessome insight into the best and
the worst of the newest Canadbn
AVANT-PIG 9:00PM-12:00AM Alternating Tuesdays with Wolf at the
Door. Now three hours of funky
ambient noise piggery with Pete
Lutwyche.
WOLF AT THE DOOR 9:00PM- 12:00AM
Alternating Tuesdays with Avant-
Pig. The btest in dance musb and
interesting drama every second
week. With Lupus Yonderboy.
AURAL TENTACLES MIDNITE UNTIL THE
MOON DROPS Fun for the whole
family to enjoy! Weird chunks of
news.odd piecesof tun eage, Pierre
and the 2AM WWOD.
WEDNESDAYS
THE MORNING SHOW    7:30-8:15AM
Hosted by lan Gunn and Antje
Rauwerda.
SOULCHURCH 12:00-1:00PM We is
back! That program that bringsyou
the best of the African- Canadbn
and African- American gospel
hence the title.
: bliss...
NORMANS KITCHEN 3:00-5:0OPM Im
a daddy1! I'm a daddy!! We play
Christmas music all year around.
NO INTERMISSION 5:30-6:00PM Aa
dressing the drama, theatre, film
and arts communities. With Antje
Rauwerda.
HANFORD NUCLEAR PIZZA PIE 6:00-
7:00PM Alaska''Maybe. BC? Yep.
Washington'' Yep. Oregon? Yep.
California'' Uh...maybe. Pacific
Northwest9 Yep. Yep. Yep.
Rowena? Yep.
JIGGLE 7:00-9:00PM Join Satan's fat-
tired bullies, Mikey and Gavin for
their weekly homage to the 'King
of all that is punk'. Big Ring Ray.
GRIND, GRIND. GRIND. If the eb-
erly get spooked by it, we'll ptay it.
Drop by, we d bve to talk to you.
THURSDAYS
THE MORNING SHOW   7:30-8:15AM
Hosted by Antje Rauwerda and
A VOICE OF DISSENT    1:00-3:00PM
Concerned with idobtry and the
vain? Beware of perceptbn. As
Judge you must understand your
subjectivity. Christ was realty nbe,
but Santa knows what it takes to
survive.nogodshere.nogodshere.
we dance to the living. Utter lack
ofdistortbn to fray your nerveswilh,
sublime order and musbal chaos.
Send me a tape of your poetry/
sound coltage/spoken word!
FLEX YOUR HEAD 3:00-5:OOPM
—HARD JINX—
—ERIC CORE-
OUT FOR KICKS 6:00-8:00PM Expbre
the pleasures of plastb with your
faithfulnative bearers Pat,Lisa.and
Chris.
RED HOT AND BLUE 8:00- 9:00PM Roots
musb. rhythm and blues, rock n
roll, and who knows what, hosted
by Eddie J.
UVE FROM THUNDERBIRD RADIO HELL
9:00-11:00PM Local musb from 9.
Live bands from 10.
Dec ,5th- Just Add Water
Dec. 12th   Go Guy
Dec. 19th Rusty Nails
ABSOLUTE VALUE OF NOISE 1100PM
1:00AM 100% Canadbn industrbl-
ism. Noise with four-dimensional
psycho-acoustic interactivity Practitioner: Peter Courtemanche
GIGABLAST! 1 AM-COMPLETE EXHAUSTION Late night spontaneous aural
combustion Easy listening for the
truly weird. Live mixes, sonic foop-
di-bops, projectile poetry, microphone molestation andimpromptu
FRIDAYS
THE MORNING SHOW 730-815AM
Hosted by lan Gunn and Antje
Rauwerda
THE INTERNATIONAL VENUS FLYTRAP
NETWORK OF LOVE ll:00AM-l:OOPM
Hi, it's Greg It is my intention to
make it to every show on time: but,
ing man". The purpose of my show is
to ptay music for you to make bve
to. ie. I ptay the tunes(Urban Dance
Squad. Ice T, 808 State, Kravitz,
Tackhead, 70s Disco, etc.), you
f.ck and s.ck. Tune in safety. Bye.G.
THE NOIZ SHOW 2:30-3:30,4:X-5:00PM
Decembers fun theme is silence.
Listen in and learn as I explore the
other end of the dynamta range of
sound. Other fun things to be ex-
pbred as well: sound masking and
the noise in your environment right
now and ways to get rid of it such as
real-time interactive phase cancel-
tattan and of course sonic insula-
tbn. Adam Noizi Sloan brings the
(un)noiz.
NARDWUARTHEHUMANSERVIETTEPRE-
SENTS...   3:30-4:0OPM  YOU the lis-
The Sports Departments preview
of what II be gom down this
THEDARYLANDSUZISHOW600-900PM
Underground sound system-style
YOUo
i turn
.  YOU
can make your opinions heard, but
YOU must realize Nardwuar and
the Grand Duchess of Cat Crime,
Cleopatra Von Flufflestein are only
your friends.
Nov.22nd Kennedy Assassinatbn
Marathon starting 3:30PM Frday
Nov.22nd. Interviews. LSD, and
tons of Radb Free America-ish
controversy. Help celebrate JFK's
death day with an 18 hour As-
THE CITR DINNER REPORT 5:00-5:30PM
With "The Voce of Reason,' our
weekly bok back atthe week in the
news, tongues firmly in cheek.
THE THUDERBIRD PREVIEW 5:3O-6:00PM
FOR THE RECORD 6 30-645PM Ex
cerpts from Dave Emory's Radio
Free America Series
HOMEBASS 9:00PM-12: 30AM Dope
pms and fresh beats for a groovy
evening with DJ Noah on the
wheels of steel
Limp Synk 12:30AM-Morning A pink
feather duster, a tiny pink tace pair
of panties, and a minute pink dust-
SATURDAYS
THESATURDAYEDGE8:0OAM-12:O0PM
Vancouver s biggest and best
acoustta/roots/rogue radio show
Now in its 6th year on CiTR! Roots
music from around the worb.
POWERCHORD 12:15-3:00PM
Vancouver'sonly true metal show:
local demo tapes, imports and
other rarities. Gerald Ratttehead
and Metal Ron do the damage.
IN EFFECT 3:00-5:00PM The Hip Hop
Beat and nuttin butt. With hosts BZ
JamandPDS.
THESATURDAYMAGAZNE 5:00-5:30PM
UBC's weekend news All the btest
view, feature report and more.
News with Luc Dinsdale. Doug
Rbhards has sports.
THE AFRICAN SHOW 8:0010:00PM Its
a music thing from all "Africa." It's
an awareness thing of self and others. It san African house party. Sto- '
ries. music, dance fun. Welcome!
Your host: Umerah.
GROOVE JUMPING 10:00PM-1:00AM
There are those who are never
happy with the status quo. Those
who must have the new,those who
define themselves by what others
are not...uh.this ismoretothe point.
Out of beer, out of tune, and out of
control.music to peel paint by.
Hosted by Terry Holland.
ACCESS
CiTR provides free airtime for
Community Access by groups
and individuals wishing to
share some thoughts with our
listeners. If you or you; group
would like to say something to
someone somewhere, please
call the Program Director at
822-3017.
mi;
ARE YOU
SERIOUS
MUSIC
ROOT
SHOW
IDE NEW
ARGO SHOW
HEARSAY
MAURYS
NIGHT
0FF/M.C.
GEETANJAU
ONE STEP
8EY0ND/JADI0
FREE AMERICA
Ithe
GHPOF
III!
mmmm
BREAKFAST
WITH THE
BROWNS
RADIO    FAST
iVI=M_»_.lia;_-:ll
l«l*«.i„l^JMM^I;OT
DIGITAL  MAX    GUMBY
ALARM   THRUST     RADIO
BRKGIHE    11N10OFUS
HEIMLICH   LIVE PROM
MANOUVRE   VENUS
W.      KEMgffAfFAB*
SON'IC    REAL DEAL
MS
Tahz! wolf
SHOW   /PIG
PHENOMENON
ONE
DANCE
HALL
REGGAE
Inl
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catg SOUL CHURCH    FLYTRAP
asTDJislfME
NORMAN'S flex   5JJM
KITCHEN head    NOIZ TWO
l»l_ *■*■-*-**_■-.-:•:*•_-«_■
NO WH-4BS40H VmCOUW FOCUS     SPORTS !!!
HNPP owfo"  DARYL
JIGGLE _§_ and
IB s,E home
!___ i= BASS
OPEN VALUE °F
COUNTRY
JOY/
OPEN
SEASON
GIGA UMP
BLAST! SINK
THE
SATURDAY
EDGE
POWER
CHORD
mxsmkm
HEALIN'
HOUR
AFRICAN
SHOW
GROOVE
JUMPING
SOME
IHING
DECEMBER@ /
/
/
It's your last chance to experience the wonder and the beauty that
is Shindig: Preliminaries and Semi-Finals at the Railway; Finals at
the Cruel Elephant. No more excuses, butthead*
NOVEMBER 25 - Night Two of Third Round Preliminaries
DECEMBER 2 - Night Three of Third Round Preliminaries
DECEMBER 9 - Third Round Semi-Finals
AT THE GOOD OL' RAILWAY CLUB - 579 DUNSMUIR
SHINDIG GRAND  FINALS AT Cuter Than Spunky
vs
the Cruel elephant @ 23 W. COrdOVa     Mystery Machine
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 13
Vancouver
Studios
AND OF COURSE LOVE AND KISSES TO OUR FAAAABULOUS SPONSORS:
4-
K£W£CAD- JTt/D'O. QZOUP
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you F^AUY HAVt TO >0, l£ W/PF THE 5LlMf OFF *YHE ROOR,
oA/CE IN AWHILE ...
EVERY SO OPfpN/, WE GrOTT/l  GO OttT^G-eT BOl>y
RA RT5 , OLt> MACH ltf*_>, OR *P V*e fV A   ^i^OUS.  N/E W B0>^...
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■■■■■■■■■■■■DECEMBER © FRI 22 Joo Kelthioy's Instinct wtth Don Pump at the Cruet Elepl
Mg-Mattr*
RailwayClub Dougand the SiugswithGr»l»i«at8C Stir*!.. StatoofMind, Oh Yeah and
Festive Eddies at the Commodore.. Skaboom wtth On Blottotn at the Town Pump. .Jenny
At ten and Friends at iaOueru... Terry Edmonds at Hogan'- Alley... SI leas at the WISE Half
Gary M Coleman at th« Yale... Tribes ol March at Club Soda... Brad Muirhead Group atthe
Glass Slipper... Dutch Mason with Drew Nelson Band at Maximum Blues Pub... Sandy
Scofield at the UBC Graduate Student Centre. HachM Edgar Heap ol Birds/Hard Weed
exhibltkwconitnues al the Artspeak Gallery (until the 30th).. Vincent TrasoVs Word Paintings
19*4 1991 exhibilion continues at the UBC fine Arts Gallery (until the 30th)... Tales Told by
Dogrib Trappers at the Museum ot Anthropology... Corporeal Knowledge by Stephe
Andrews and Shelagh Keeley at the Charles H Scott Gallery (until the 20th)-. Terminator (7pm;
and Terminator II (9 30pm, 12:30am) at the UBC Cinema... Trost (730 & 9:30pm) at the
StarttghL..
SAT23 Tbe Smalls with Call Game and Sparkmarker at the Arcadian Hall (all ages).. Sweah/
Nipples with Spastic Blur and Letters Wagon at the Cruel Elephant. Massive Attack at 86
Street.. Last Corvairs, Bughouse 5, One Big Union, and SurMusters at the Commodore...
Skaboomwith Gin Blossom at the Town Pump Amanda Hughes at Ihe Railway Cluh.. Terry
Edmonds at Hogan's Alley Gary BB Coleman at the Yale... Dutch Mason with Draw Nelson
Band at Maximum Blues Pub... Tales Told by Dogrib Trappers at the Museum of Anthropology... Tern-rotor (7pm) and Tem.*»at_r H (9:30pm, 12:30am) at the UBC Cinema... Trust
; *:30 & 9:30pm) at the Starlight
SUN24 Graham Ord-Paul Blartey Amalgamation at the Glass Supper   Chit* Corea Electric
BaedattheCommodore. ChrisHowtoa.MITwang-ttheRaiiway. LaCteanonDuMonde
.ifheVancouwrfastCulturaiCcntre. SundayJamSesslonatmcVale   BluesJamSession
.. Tennnator (7pm) and Terminator D (9:30pm. 12:30am) at the UBC
isl (7:30 & 930pm) at the Starlight.. "^____B__________r*>l_2
PR SHINOIG '91 THIRD ROUND AT THE RAILWAY CLUB WITH... OTH PRESENTS
f. WITH FOU OW FOR NOW AT THE TOWN PUMP... Gail Bowenat the Yale
ie WIS. Hall.. Nolan Murray and Tumbleweed at the Anza Club... Gary
Stephens Banda! the Maximum Blues Pi*   At Walker's Rock Party at Hogan .Alley.. Trust
,/30 49 30pm) atthe Starlight. "5.^1(^Ups*s^',^^
TUE26OTHPRESENTSTHEBUZZC-O«WrTHTHEVANDALSATTHEC0MM0D0RE...Jello
Biafra spo hen word performs nee at, the UBC Auditonum. Paste and Mrs Svenson at the Cruel
I»' pn.int Gail Bowen at th^Yato. Elvis Love Child, Dogzilla. The Worst and Kreviss at Club
Soda.. Idiot Savant at the R*way Club... Gary Stephens Band at the Maximum Blues Pub...
Trust (7:30 & 9.30pm) at the Starlight..
WED 27 Sonic Boom "Vancouver Community Gamalon" at the Glass Slipper with KyatMadu
Sari, Sam Salmon. Chris Miller, Mark Parted and Matt Rogalskl CORE Fest with Maxlne,
Animal Kingdom and Infamous Menagerie at the Cruel Elephant Gail Bowen at the Yale...
GramesBrothersattheRailwayClub LoroenaMcKennittattheOrpheum ...AJ Walter'sRock
Party at Hogan's Alley... Gary Stephens Band at the Maximum Blues Pub... I
Nights at the Vancouver East Cultural Centre... Bonnie & Clyde (7pm)
(9:30pm) at UBC Cinema... Trust (7:30 4 930pm) at the Starlight.
THU 28 Sonic Boom "Electro-Acoustic Interdisciplinary" at the Glass Slipper with Susan
Frykberg, Susan Main, Jerome Jarvis, James Walker, Earle Peach, Darren Copeland.
Anlhony Robersts CORE Fest with My Diva, Common Language and 66 Saints at the C ruel
Elephant... Stingin' Hornets at the Railway... Ngoma, Second Nature, Jazzberry Ram at the
Commodore... Jim Byrnes at the Yale... Shark Attack, Tomcat Horrock and Big Bad Wolf at
86 Street. Carl Kory at the WISE Club... Al Walter's Rock Party at Hogan's Alley... Gary
Stephens Band at the Maximum Blues Pub... Blue Flame, Wik) Nights at the Vancouver East
Cultural Centre.. Lost Illusions: Recent Landscape Art lecture by Robert Llnstey at the
Vancouver Art Gallery (7:30pm)... Hariey Parker exhibition opens at the Burnaby Art Gallery
(until Jan 5th)... Bonnie-Clyde (7pm) and Casablanca (9:30pm)aiUBCCinema..Tnist(7:30
4 9:30pm) at the Starlight.
FRI 29 Sonic Boom "Contemporary Chamber" at the Glass Slipper with Robert Dyck, Sherilyn
Fritz, Steve Berger, Earle Peach, Mark Armanini. John Cole. Border Mountain Willie
Smugglers, Flop and the Indecistves at the Cruel Elephant.. Beat Farmers with Cadillac
Tramps at 86 Street. Stingin' Hornets at the Railway... Jim Byrnes at the Yale... Uoyd Cole
with GW McLennan and Robert Forster at the Commodore... Kin Lalat at La Quena.. Al
Walker's Rock Party at Hogan's Alley... Marc Coulombe at the Graduate Student Centre... Gary
Stephens Band at the Maximum Blues Pub... Blue Flame, Wild Nightsat the Vancouver East
Cultural Centre... Josef Koudefca exhibition and Beyond Control: Critical Transition in the
Baltic Republics opens at the Presentation House Gallery (until the 26th)... Tom Raworth
reading at the Kootenay School of Writing (8pm)... Dances with Wolves (7pm) and Hot Shots
(9:55pm) at UBC Cinema.. Thelma 4 Louisa (7pm) and Bull Durham (9:30pm) at the Ridge...
Mister Johnson (7 & 9:15pm) at the Starlight...
SAT 30 Hitting Birth with My Name and Pond at the C ruel Elephant. Sonic Boom "Unsate Sex"
attheGlass Slipper with Grog Hlggs. Jacqueline Leggatt, Mark Douglas, EdwinDolinski, Coat
Cooke, Matt Rogalsky and Francois House... Stingin' Hornets at the Railway... Beat Fanners
with Cadillac Tramps at 86 Street.. Jim Byrnes at the Yale... Bourne & MacLeod at the
Maritime Labour Centre... Clyde Roulette Band at the Maximum Blues Pub... Al Walker's Rock
Party at Hogan's Alley... Blue Flame, Wild Nights at the Vancouver East Cultural Centre...
HachM Edgar Heap ol Bints/Hart Weed exhibition doses at the Artspeak Gallery (until the
30th)... Vincent Trasov's Word Paintings 19B4-1991 exhibition closes at the UBC fine Arts
Gallery Feminity and Abjection Motion WithoutAn End al the Video In (9pm) Dances with
Wolves (7pm) and Hot Shots (9 55pm) al UBC Cinema. Thelma 4 Louise (7pm) and Bull
Durham (9.30pm) at the Ridge... Mister Johnson (7 & 9:15pm) atthe Starlight.
SUN 1 Vinny Golia Sextet with Trans Value at the Glass Slipper Stingin' Hornets at the
Railway.. Jim Byrnes Band at the Vancouver Playhouse.. Blues Jam at Hogan's Alley...
Dances with Wolves (7pm) and Hot Shots (9:55pm) at UBC Cinema.. Thelma 4 Louise
(7pm) and Bull Durham (9:30pm) at the Ridge.. Mister Johnson (7 4 9:15pm) at the
Starlight.
MO N 2 CiTR SHINDIG '91 THIRO ROUND AT THE RAILWAY CLUB. Vinny Golia Sextekvith
Trans Value at the Glass Slipper The Flirtations at the Vancouver East Cultural Centre...
Oliver and the Dements at the Yale... Harpdog Brown & the Bloodhounds at the Maximum
Blues Pub... Paris is Burning (7:30pm) and Impromptu (905pm) at the Ridge... Mister
Johnson (7 4 9:15pm) at the Starlight.
TUE 3 Kiss Kiss N Bang with Maldi Hal and Mushroom Trail at the Cruel Elephant The
Chieftains at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre... The Flirtations at the Vancouver East Cultured at the Railway... Zydeco at the Yale Harpdog Brown 4 the
at the Maximum Blues Pub. Sutapa Biswas exhibition opens at the Or Gallery
(until the 21st)... Paris is Burning (7.30pm) and Impromptu (9:05pm) at the Ridge.. Mister
Johnson (7 & 9:15pm) at the Starlight..
WED4 Hollowheads with the SlipslwdsandSons-LovenattheCruel Elephant.. Rock Against
Racism with Grames Brothers, Tree Frog, Second Nature al the Town Pump... The Flirtations
- at the Vancouver EastCultural Centre... Acoustically Inclined at the Railway... Zydeco at the
Yale Harpdog Brown 4 the Bloodhounds at the Maximum Blues Pub... illustrated talk with
Sutupa Biswasat the Vancouver Art Gallery (7.30pm) NextolKin(7pm)and Family Viewing
(9 30pm) at UBC Cinema.. Cyrano de Bergerac (7pm) and Too Beautiful for You (9:35pm)
at the Ridge... Mister Johnson (7 4 9:15pm) atthe Starlight..
THU 5 Billy Bragg and the Red Stars with Disposable Heroes ol Hiphoprisy at the
Commodore... Junior Gone Wild at the Cruel Elephant. The Flirtations at the Vancouver East
Cultural Centre. Dobb and Dumela at the Railway... Zydeco at the Yale... Harpdog Brown A
the Bloodhounds at the Maximum Blues Pub... Dave AMn with the Skeletons and the Picketts
a! the Backstage (Seattle).. Next of Kin (7pm) and Family View! ng (9:30pm) at UBC Cinema..
Parts Is Burning (730pm) and Impromptu (9:05pm) at the Ridge... Mister Johnson (7 4
9:15pm)atthe Starlight.
FRI 6 The Flirtations at the Vancouver East Cultu ral Centre.Junior Gone Wild with Sweetwater
at the Cruel Elephant. Zydeco at the Yale... Dobb and Dumela at the Railway.. Harpdog Brown
& the Bloodhounds at the Maximum Blues Pub... Jim Byrnes at Hogan's Alley... Ulrich
Homdash exhibition opens at the Contemporary Art Gallery (until January 18th)... Delerious
(7pm) and Boyz 'n the Hood (9:30pm) at UBC Cinema.. Dead Again (7:30pm) and Homicide
(9:35pm) at the Ridge... Clear Cut (7:15 4 9:30pm) at the Starlight.
SAT 7 CITR PRESENTS JOHN KORSRUD'S HARD RUBBER ORCHESTRA AT THE GLASS
SLIPPER... Junior Gone Wlldvith Sweetwater at the Cruel Elephant. Ancient Cultures at La
Quena.. Tempus Fugit at the WISE Club... The Flirtations at the Vancouver East Cultural
Centre... Herald Nix at the Railway... Jim Byrnes at Hogan's Alley... Zydeco at the Yale...
Harpdog Brown & the Bloodhoundsat the Maximum Blues Pub... The Francois Houle Quartet
at the Kootenay School of Writing (8pm)... Black Rock Coalition at the Backstage (Seattle)...
Oh, Baby Babylcu rated by Sara Diamond and Karen Knights at the Video In (9pm)... Delerious
(7pm) and Boyz 'n the Hood (9:30pm) at UBC Cinema.. Dead Again (7:30pm) and Homicide
(9:35pm) at the Ridge... Dear Cut (7:15 4 9:30pm) at the Starlight.
SUN 8 Herald Nix at the Railway... Blues Jam Session at Hogan's Alley.. Hungary/
Czechoslovak la: The New Musical the Vancouver EastCultural Centre. Delerious (7pm) and
Boyz n the Hood (9:30pm) at UBC Cinema.. Dead Again (7:30pm) and Homicide (9:35pm)
at the Ridge... Clear Cut (7:15 4 9:30pm) at the Starlight..
MON 9 OTR SHINDIG '91 THIRD ROUND SEMI-FINALS AT THE RAILWAY CLUB... The
Original Sinners at Hogan's Alley... Oliverand Ihe Elements at the Yale... TheShirtey Johnson
Band at the Maximum Blues Pub... Barton Fink (7:15pm) and Blood Simple (9:30pm) at the
Ridge... Clear Cut (7:15 4 9:30pm) at the Starlight..
TUE 10 Ellen Mcllwaine Band at the Railway... The Original Sinners at Hogan's Alley... Jethro
Tull at the Orpheum... Funhouse at the Cruel Elephant. The Shirley Johnson Band at the
Maximum Blues Pub... Eddie Shaw at the Yale... Barton Fink (7:15pm) and Blood Simple
(9:30pm) at the Ridge... Clear Cut (7:15 4 9:30pm) atthe Starlight.
WED 11 Rock Against Rape Benefit with Kreviss, the Bombshells, Facepuller and
Windwalker at the Cruel Elephant... Ellen Mcllwaine Band at the Railway... The Original
Sinners at Hogan's Alley... Eddie Shaw at the Yale... The Shirley Johnson Band at the
Maximum Blues Pub... Robin Hood (7pm) and Cinema Paradiso (9:30pm) at UBC Cinema..
Everybody's Rne (7:15pm) and The Sleazy Uncle (9:30pm) at the Ridge... dear Cut (7:15
4 9:30pm)attheStarllgrit.
THU12 CircleC.Tank hog. Wig Torture and Cane Toads at theCommodore... The Purdins with
the Meices atthe Cruel Elephant.. Ellen Mcllwaine Band at the Railway... Eddie Shaw at the
Yale... The Shirley Johnson Band at the Maximum Blues Pub... Painting. Landscape & Emily
Carr lecture by Landon MacKenzie at the Vancouve r Art Gallery (7:30pm)... Robin Hood (7pm)
<nd Cleema Paradiso (9:30pm) at UBC Cinema.. Everybody's Fine (7:15pm) and The Sleazy
Undo (9:30pm) at the Ridge... Clear Cut (7:15 4 9:30pm) at the Starlight.
FRI 13 OTR SHINDIG .1 GRAND FINALS AT THE CRUEL ELEPHANT WTTH CUTER THAN
SPUNKY, MYSTERY MACHINE AND THE WINNER OF ROUND THREE... Ellen Mcllwaine
Band at the Railway... New Klezmer Trio at the Glass Slipper... Eddie Shaw at the Yale... The
Shirley Johnson Band at the Maximum Blues Pub... Hariey Davidson 4 the Marlboro Man
(7pm) and Thelma S Louise (9:30pm)at UBC Cinema.. Rambling Rose (7:15pm) and Steel
Magnolias (9:30pm) at the Ridge... The Object ol Reality (7:15 4 9:30pm) at the Starlight..
SAT 14 CiTR PRESENTSSTER POLE BATH TUB WITH ATO Ml C 61 AND TWERDOCLEB ATTHE
CRUa ELEPHANT... Ellen Mcllwaine Bandat the Railway... Maxine Gadd at the Kootenay
School of Writing (8pm)... Eddie Shaw at the Yale... The Shirley Johnson Band at ihe Maximum
Blues Pub... Hariey Davidson 4 the Marlboro Man (7pm) and Thelma 4 Louise (9:30pm) at
UBC Cinema.. Rambling Rose (7:15pm) and Steel Magnolias (9:30pm) at the Ridge... The
Object ol Reality (7:15 4 9:30pm) at the Starlight.
SUN 15 The Pbdes with Pere Ubu at the Commodore... Movies ol the Week at the Railway...   I
For Colored Girts Who Have Considered Suicide at the Vancouver East Cultural Centre.
Hariey Davidson 4 the Marlboro Man (7pm) and Thelma 4 Louise (9:30pm) at U BC Cinema..
Rambling Rose (7:15pm) and Steel Magnolias (9:30pm) at the Ridge.. The Object ot Reality
(7:15 4 9:30pm) at the Starlight.
MON16 The Pixies with Pere Ubu at the Commodore   Church of the Hardboiled Egg at the    '
Railway... Oliver and the Elemenls at the Yale.  Mike Jacobs Band at the Maximum Blues   ;.
PuD   For Colored Girts Who Have Considered Suicide at the Vancouver EastCulturalCentre...   '
Let's Gel Lost (7:15pm) and A Night in Havana (9:30pm) at the Ridge   The Object of Reality
(7:15 4 9:30pm) at the Starlight.
TU E17 CiTR PRESENTS LIBIDO BOYZ AT THE CRUEL ELEPHANT... Church ol the Hardboiled
Egg at the Railway... The Bel-Airs at the Yale... Mike Jacobs Band at the Maximum Blues Pub...
ForCotored Girls Who Have Consktered Suicide at the Vancouver EastCultural Centre. Let's
Get Ust (7:15pm) and A Night in Havana (9:30pm) atthe Ridge. The Object ot Reality (715
4 9:30pm) at the Starlight..
WED 18 screening of Northern Rage with EMs Love Child, Cat's Game, Ten Feet Tall and
Mystery Machine at the Cruel Elephant.. Church ol the Hardboiled Egg at the Railway... The
Bel Airs at the Yale... Mike Jacobs Band at the Maximum Blues Pub.. For Colored Girls Who
Have Considered Suicide at the Vancouver East Cultural Centre... Black Robe (7:30pm) and
Jesus ol Montreal (9:30pm) at the Ridge... The Object ol Reality (7:15 4 930pm) at the .
Starlight.
TH U19 Video Bar-b-que at the Railway... Timbuk 3 at the Town Pump... Ngoma with Dug Deep
at the Cruel Elephant.. The Bel-Airs at the Yale... Mike Jacobs Band at the Maximum Blues
Pub... ForCotored Girts Who Have Considered Suicide at the Vancouver East Cultural Centre...
Black Robe (7:30pm) and Jesus of Montreal (9:30pm) at the Ridge The Object ol Reality
(7:15 4 9:30pm) at the Starlight..
FRI20 Video Bar-b-que at the Railway.. .TheSweaterswithTouch'n'Go'sandBUMattheCruel   j
Elephant... The Bel-Airs at the Yale... Mike Jacobs Band at the Maximum Blues Pub... For   j
Colored Girts Who Have Considered Suicide at the Vancouver East Cultural Centre...
Terminator (7:15pm) and Terminator II (9:20pm) at the Ridge... The Fool (6:45pm) and An   ?
Angel at My Table (9:15pm) at the Starlight..
SAT 21 CiTR PRESENTS GAS HUFFER WITH DEAD MOON AT THE CRUEt ELEPHANT... The
Stoaters at the Railway... Tin Machine at the Commodore... Sutapa Biswas exhibition closes
at the Or Gallery... The Bel-Airs at the Yale... Mike Jacobs Band at the Maximum Blues Pub...
For Colored Girts Who Have Considered Suicide at the Vancouver East Cultural Centre...    •
Terminator (7:15pm) and Terminator II (9:20pm) at the Ridge... The Fool (6:45pm) and An   I
Angel at My Table (9:15pm) at the Starlight..
SUN 22 Bughouse 5 at the Railway... Blues tor Christmas benefit at the Commodore...
Terminator (7:15pm) and Terminator II (9:20pm) at the Ridge... The Fool (6:45pm) and An
Angel at My Table (9:15pm) at the Starlight..
MON 23 Bughouse 5 at the Railway... A Room with a View (7:15pm) and Babette's Feast
(9:30pm) at the Ridge... The Fool (6:45pm) and An Angel at My Table (9:15pm) at the
Starlight..
TUE24 Bughouse 5 at the Railway...
THU 26 Mike Jacobs Band at the Railway... For Colored Girts Who Have Considered Suicide
at the Vancouver East Cultural Centre... A Room with a View (7:15pm) and Babette's Feast
(9:30pm) at the Ridge... NFB Animation Festival (7 4 9:30pm) at the Starlight..
FRI 27 Mike Jacobs Band at the Railway... For Colored Girts Who Have Considered Suicide
atthe VancouverEastCulturalCentre...NFBAnlm_tionFestival(7 49:30pm) atthe Starlight..   [
SAT 28 Mike Jacobs Band at the Railway... For Colored Girts Who Have Considered Suicide
atthe Vancouver EastCultural Centre... NFB Animation Festival (7 4 9:30pm) at the Starlight.
SUN 29 Moviesol the Week at the Railway... For Colored Girts Who Have Considered Suicide
atthe Vancouver EastCultural Centre... NFB Animation Festival (7 4 9:30pm) at the Starlight..
MO N 30 Sepatu Big Boss at the Railway... For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide at
the Vancouver East Cultural Centre... NFB Animation Festival (7 4 9:30pm) at the Starlight.
TUE31 Gorilla Gorilla, Superconductor, WindwalkeraidTankhogattheCruelEiepha,nt.. Hard
Rock Miners at the Railway Club... Trooper at 86 Street... She Stole My Beer at the Town
Pump... NFB Animation Festival (7 4 9:30pm) at the Starlight.. Timbre Presents
from Portland
.        f Saturday Nov.23
SWeaty nippleS   cruel elephant
with SPASTIC BLUR and LESTER'S WAGEN 23 W. COfdOVCI
94-7 -5IPY7 MONDAY
Warner timrdkf Artists _■_! TI I l<_7 JL _-L    e_L_e1 IN VJ V.   _-lO
Trith^estsMCARewrdingArti-tsFOLLOW FORM and Interscope Recording Artists Tl HARD CORPS
TOWN
J> £7A*_P
CFOX  99.3  FM   presents  Capitol   Recording  Artist
IU
L
with   special   guests
[ G,W, McLennan & Robert Forster (formerly with the Go-Betweens)  1
Fri Nov, 29
Gommodoie
^BILLY BRAGG »BS
with special guests DISPOSABLE HEROES OF HIPHOPRISY COMMODORE
{;(!!>}(( presents
^ with special guests    SUN, DEC. 15
$   B^r^ uhu    MON. DEC. 16
rCIC  UBU     COMMODORE
IRS/Capitol Recording Artists
TjJjjtoK^ ^
guests
COMMODORE
THURSDAY
DECEMBER 19
TOWN
Tickets Available At: Zulu, Black Swan, Track, Highlife, Scratch, and Reminiscing
Records, Ticketmaster outlets or charge by phone 280-4444
Tickets for 24-7 SPYZ and TIMBUK 3 are available at the Town Pump
. records
Z Monday to Wednesday 10:30-7:00
LU Thursday and Friday 10:30-9:00
& Saturday 10:30-6:30
0 Sunday 12:00-6:00
1869 W4th Avenue, Vancouver BC
604-738-3232
December 1991
1
2
**" pickupfruit
cake from
bakery
3
A
5
6
office party
(suckupto
boss big-time)
7
Q eggnog party at
biff's (remember
to bring whoppee
cushion)
9
10
I     Rita Moreno's
Birthday
12
13
U
15
ZULU 10th Anniversary Sale! 'December 16 - 24
10% off all cds and cassettes *20% all vinyl
 1 1 1 1 1	
ZULU Anniversary Sale
25 Christmas
26   ZULU'S
Boxing
Day Sale
See next Discorder
for details
27
28
**"°    Skating Party
29
30
31

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