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The News Oct 29, 1898

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 ��������� it/  ������  Weekly  JBditiom  FOB  TOUR  JOB IBHTIIft   fn  Give us a Trial,, we J j /  do Good Work at \  REASONABLE  PRICES.  ���������Ol'  SIXTH YEAR.  CUMBERLAND, B C  SATURDAY OCT. 29th., 1898  fispimali & Hanaimo. By.  THE  STEAMER City ' of   Nanaimo  WILL RUN AS FOLLOWS:  W.D. OWEN, MASTER,  Calling at Way Ports as Freight  and Passengers may offer:  Leave Victoria for Nanaimo  ^ Tuesday 7 a.m.  *'   Nanaimo for Comox,  Wednesday 7 a,m.  ' ���������   Comox for Nanaimo  ,  Friday 8 a,m.  * *   Nanaimo for Victoria,  Saturday 7 a.m.  ��������� FOR Freight or. Staterooms apply on board, or at the Company**  Ticket Offices.  GEO. Ii. COURTENAY,  Traffice Manager.  THE  NEWS  O.H.FECHNEB.  LEADING   BARBER  and  Keeps a Large Stock  of Fire Arms, Amuni-  tion and Sporting  Goods of all descriptions.  Cumberland,      B. C.  DYKE & EVANS  . Music Dealers  ���������ANOOTJVEB,  SOLE AGENTS:  Kam Pianos  Echo Banjos  Washburn Guitars   and   Mandolins  Organs, etc.  SEND   FOR  CATALOGUE.  PURE MILK.  Delivered daily by us in Cumberland  and Union.    Give us a trial.  HUGH GRANT & SOU.  J. J&. Is/LFTittOlZ  General Teaming Powder  Oil, Etc., Hauled. Wood  in Blocks Furnished.  SCAVENGER WORK DONE  J. A. Garthew  ARCHITECT and BUILDER,  CUMBERLAND, B. C.  1B&9  THIRTY-SEVENTH YEAR.    ���������.. ���������   ���������  ���������   ���������   wORLD-WIPEjiRCULATION.  Twenty Pages; Weekly; Illustrated.  Indispensable to .Mining_Men.;  THKEE DOLLARS PER YEAK. POSTPAID.  8AMPLE C0PIE8 FREE.  MINING AND SCIENTIFIC PRESS,.  220 Market St.,   San Francisco, Cal.  INSURANCE.  I am agent for the  following reliable  (companies;  The Royal Insurance Company.  The London and Lancashire.  Current Rates.  Can be seen afternoon's at corner office  jiear The News,  JyVJIRS Abbams.  TSSUED   ON   TUESDAYS  * and Saturdays,  IS THE ONLY B.C.  Newspaper outside  of  the  chief cities  having  a SPECIAL  TELEGRAPHIC  6ERVICE.  i l"  ���������. -   I  In addition to that it pays  SPECIAL ATTENTION  to  the   news   of the  District.,  TT Is delivered by mail at its old time  price of TWO dollars a year, payable  in advance, and in Union and Cumberland for 25 CENTS A MONTH by carrier.  N'  ' OW advertisements can be  displayed   near    reading  , matter  and    are    sure to    be  read.    This  is of   special  advantage   to   those    desiring  to  reach   the . public   with    greater  frequency than formerly, and makes  the News valuable for want ads,  LOST ADS, LOCALS, ETC.  The News has a good job  plant and can turn out any-  thing in that line with neatness  and dispatch.  IN THE MATTER OP THE TRAMWAY  INCORPORATION  ACT AND  AMENDING ACT.  NOTICE is hereby given that we, the  undersigned, desire to form a Company under the name of "The Hardy Bay Tramway Company, Limited," for the purpose of  building, equipping, maintaining astd operating & single or double track tramway,  beginning at a point on Hardy Bay, in Rupert District, Vancouver's Island, in the  Prorinceot British Columbia, thence in a  southwesterly direction by the most practical and feasible route to the most convenient  point on Coal Harbor, Quatsino Sound, in  the said Rupert District, aud with power to  build, equip, construct, operate aud maintain branch lines in connection therewith;  and also for the purpose of building, constructing, equipping, maintaining and operating a telephone or telegraph line or lines in  connection with the said Tramway and  branch lines.  Dated at the City of Victoria, this 17 th  day of October, 1898. __  Wm. JENSEN,     '���������  ml0-22d L. GOOD ACRE.  For Your Job   Printing  GIVE USA   TRIAL.  WE   DO   GOOD    WORK.  LATEST BY fIRI.  HASTINGS LUMBERMILL Burned  Vancouver, Oct. 27���������The Hastings  lumbermills in this city" were destroyed  by fire which was discovered about 2:10  this morning. The cause is unknown at  the present writing. The. facts elided  so far being inconclu >ive. The night-  watchman was the first to see the flames  and says they seemed to shoot from the  centre of the mill, where a. strong wind  blowing from the east quickly ^fanned the  flames into fury. The whole mill was  doomed in ten minutes. - The ships at  the wharf were the Gartmore and the  Kennebec. Their cables were soon loosed and they drifted out of the. way, after  a hard fight, and were gotten into a place  of safety. The mills are totally destroyed; loss estimated at $350,006; insurance,  $100,000.    For years the mills have em-  1 ** rr  ployed hundreds of hands. - Two   hundred and fifty men   were - thrown   out of  employment.  DREYFUS, CASE EXCITING!  London, Oct. 27���������According to a special dispatch from Paris matters became  so exciting in Court of Appeals* in the  Dreyfus case that the lawyers fled to escape danger.  ���������ELECTION CASES.  . Victoria, Oct. 27���������In Supreme Court  chambers yesterday morning Mr. Justice.  .Martin gave his decision on the election  cases argued before hirri,. dismissing all  the-summonses asking thatthe petitions  Cbe struck off the files.. The immediate  result will be that unless the, respondents  appeal and get an adjournment of' the  trial the Esquimalt electron case Will be  tried Monday next. His Lordship held  that none of the objections were good,  andso dismissed the summonses. The  cases up were Victoria, Esquimalt, Comox and North Nanaimo.-  VANCOUVER BUDGET.  Vancouver, Oct. 27���������Biirrister W- J.  Bowser sent word from Ottawa, to-day  that W. G. Pollock, Shoal Bay, convicted of forging tax vouchers, has. been  pardoned by the authorities. The jpri-  soners miserable health is the causo of  his liberation. - '  Last night the Sherman House v������as  burglarized and $150.00 stolen, a gilild  watch and a diamond pin being takt.jn.  The proprietor believes the robber was; a  recently liberated convict. 1  A Chinaman was walking between  the main track and switch as an engine  backed into the yard. The Chinam.'in  was yelled at, the whistle blown and  bell rung. He stepped excitedly on i':c  the switch on which the train was rui).  ning, and was knocked down under i;t,  cne arm being taken off and many ril)s  broken.  TERRIFIC STORM.  Salonica, Turkey, Oct. 27���������Terrifiiq  storms have swept over Macedonia, do*  ing an enormous amount of damage an-d  causing considerable loss of life. In one.  insiance a caravan consisting of 49 persons and 100 horses were swept in the;  river ar.d all drowned.  NEW COAL FIELDS TO BE WORKED-  Winnipeg, Oct 27���������The completion of.  the Crows Nest Pass Railway has open-  ep up a new field /or the development of  the enormous coal deposits at Fernie,  13. C. and in November 150 miners and  their families will leave for that place  from Sidney, N. S.  FROM NANAIMO  Oct. 28.���������Thos. Morgan for years o-  verman of the Protection mine hos been  apDointed coal mine inspector in place of  Mr. A. Dick who has served in that'capacity for jS years.  FROM VICTORIA  Oct. 28.���������An assault' which may result in the death of J Overstreet, was  committed on Johnston street before day  light this morning Overstreet was on  his way to Queen's hotel when he was attacked by Dan Sullivan who kicked O-  versireers face to a pulp, shattered his  elbow and also injured him  internally.  PARISIAN FEELING PEACEFUL.  Paris, Oct. 27���������A feeling distinctly  peaceful regarding the Fashoda affair pre*  vails in Paris this evening. President  Faure is taking the crisis quietly. It is  now rumored that General Chanoine resigned the war office portfolio without  show of pique at the refusal of the general  staff committee to give him command of  the army corps. Extraordinary,; police  precautious have been ordered against  possible disturbance at the Court of Cessation to-morrow when the Dryfus revision appeal will be heard.  THE WAR SITUATION.  London, Oct, 27���������The keen desire to  hear the views of the Liberal leader in  the Houses of Commons, Sir William  Vernon Harcourt, on the Fashoda question, was satisfied this evening'by his  speech at Abeeteystswith, Wales. He  said it was the unquestioned duty of  every one without regard to political differences to support the government in  maintaining the right of the empire in  the,present crisis, a crisis specifically  dangerous "owing to the situation in  France; ���������  ���������  A report'was in circulation, in the city  this evening that the Rothchilds had  been informed that' France had agreed  to evacuate FashbdaV but the foreign  office has no information on this subject.  The activity in naval preparation continues on both sides.  NAVAL EXCITEMENT AT HALIFAX.  Halifax, N. S.; Oct. 27.���������Great activity  prevails in naval circles here. The cruisers  Pallas and Talbot had just arrived and the  officers of the ships expected that after the  busy season they would get a few days rest.  However they have orders to make everything ready. A large staff of assistants . are  also rushing them through the' necessary  orders. In naral circles the action of the  admiralty is regarded aa surprising. Tbe  vessels were to have taken part in the naval  review on Friday, and the sudden change of  orders has caused a great sensation.      *  NEW WESTMINSTER  ACKNOWLEDGEMENT.  New Westminster, B. C.  Oct., 3, 1898.  Eli Rowland, Esq.  Union Mines,  Union, B, C.  Dear Sir;���������Your favor, dated Aug.,   29th.  1898, has been received, as also the   list   of  subscribers to   our   Relief  Fund.      Please  convey, to your people my warmest   thanks  for their kind and very generous   donation.  The .$52.50 was not enclosed in your letter.  I presume you are sending it in some  other  way.    Again thanking you,  I am yours very truly,  Thos. Ovens, Mayor.  RECEIVED THE MONEY.  New Westminster, B. C,  Oct,, 11, 1898.  Mr. Eli Rowland,  Cumberland, B. C.  Dear Sir:��������� I have jus^ received from Mr.  Simon Leiser of Victoria, a cheque for  $52 50 being the sum contributed by the  people of Union, B. C, to aid in relieving  the distress of our hemeless people.  As I stated in my letter of the 3rd inst.,  my warmest thanks are extended to the  people ot Union who contributed so nobly  for our relief.  Yours truly,  Thos. Ovens, Mayor.  WHARP    BUDGET.  *> ' ���������  The town is growing and of course is  lively. One regrets, as he considers the  splendid location, fine harbor, and scenery, that the Camp was not located here.  It would have made a much bigger place  if wharf and town had been united,   ,  A new office is being -erected near  south side of the long wharf for the officer in charge here���������a place where he can  write a note, and see people of times.  X school building is badly needed here.  The attendance we understand averages  18 and of course is larger than this part  of the time; indeed is so crowded that  some parents decline to send their children, they being cooped up in a small  room utterly unfit for the pupils. It is to  be hoped the government will take some  action to provide a suitable building.  Mr.    Muschamp, . the    gentlemanly  salesman at Howe's is erecting a neat  .cottage on his farm about three miles  from here on  the  road leading towards  Nanaimo.  LOOAXS.  Mr. and Mrs. C. I. PUlsbury returned  from their bridal trip Wednesday, and have,  settled {down to housekeeping in a verj  pleasant cottage at the Wharf.  The October number  of  the Canadian  Home Journal is particularly readable and  ���������very home into which it  enter* - will  be <  made pleasanter by its pi^senoe.  Mr. and Mrs. Vincent Tobaooo buried' a  little daughter Thursday. , The*; have been  nagnUrly unfortunate, li*vu^ lose five chil  dNB,-M are i-afbn-Mdv.aiarW'  here. They have the sympathy of the community in their affliction.'  The City Council are having put' down  a drain in the alley north of Dunsmuir Ave,  from First to Third streets. This ia a good  move and was more needed here than elsewhere, but is nevertheless needed in other  places which will doubtless receive attention as soon-as there are funds available,  Piano Lessons.  Mrs. W. B. Anderson is prepared  to give pianoforte lessons at her  house, or at the houses ol pupils.  :Terms moderate.  Apply at residence, corner of  Windermere Ave., and First Street.  PASSENGER LIST.  Per City of Nanaimo, Oct 26.���������Edith  Lawrence, Parks, Ganner, W. L. Robertson,  F. Carmichael, W. Noseworthy, D. John  J. Phillips, R. Carry. M4r*e*t, Crossanc W.  Looey, A. Folden, J. MoLeod, J. Vurpisa,  Mrs. Walker, Mrs. Kevilt, Mrs. Grant,  Mrs. Loot, H. Banner, Mat Mioola, Mrs.  McKinnon, Mrs. McDonald, J. Maher, Mr.  Bloomingdale, A. Diok, Mrs, Bish, Miss  T. Piercey, Mr. and Mrs. Pillshury, Miss  Roy, W. E. Noma.  TWO LITTLE GIRLS.  "My father "s a general.    What does  your father do ?"  "What ever mother tells him."  Award**  Highest Honors���������World's Fair,  OoW Medal, Midwinter Fair.  X'\  .    1 "U  "������������������A  (1 .J ��������� c I  >*';."'������'  'i* >iVl  ���������;''' ivM.  irl|  A Pure Grape Cream of Tartar Powder.  40 YEARS THE STANDARD HOW to hold a. mak  PERPLEXED    YOUNG   WOMAN    SECURES ADVICE FROM  EXPERTS.  Suggestions by a. Wife Who Is Still a  Sweetheart���������Then a Widow and a Spinster Come In With Some Hints That  Hay Prove Valuable.  A" young  girl,  a' middle   aged wife, a  widow and a spinster fell  to talking not  ,'long. ago.  "You're always railing  at me for hav-  ' ing  so many beaux and never  getting a  husband," said   tho girl  i* reply to  a remark.    "Maybe it's my fault and maybe  it isn't. I haven't quite settled in my own  ,    mind whether it is or not.    I have settled  one thing, though, and   that   is that it is  ono thing to attract a man and another to  hold him  after he is "attracted.    When I  onco set my head  to draw a man to mo, I  can do it, but I havo never yet been able  to keep one  that I wanted   in  tlie  least.  Why? That's what I'd like to know.   Perhaps it is bocause my nature is too'yield:  |ng with thoso of whom I am fond or it  may be that I demand too muohof a man  '  -when I am   inclined  to care for  him.    I  rather think, however, the trouble' lies in  the fuot that I permit friendship to ripon  too rapidly when I meet a congenial sf-irit.  Philosophors toll us that friendship is tho  slowest fruit in tho garden of life, and yet  I force it to perfection as a florist does his  lilies at Easter  timo, and, you all .know  that forced flowers and fruits decay very  soon.    Friendship  is tho most beautiful  attribute of  human   nature,  and   nature  will not be hurriod.    I winh  I did know  what tho trouble is."  "Why, I don't think it is hard to hold a  -man   after  you've  once  attracted him,"  said  the wife, who has  tho  roputation of.  ,   still being sweethearts with heir husband,  though  she  has  grown children.    ."You  make a mistake   in really yielding  to a  man whom you've attracted.    You should  smile and  smile and  only'seem to  yield.  A woman who wishes to hold a man should,  never  allow him  to   thoroughly  understand her.    She should be to him a sweet  ���������mystery:   Tho mysterious interests us all.  That's our nature.    We cling to what we  ,   don't quite understand in tho hope of solving tho problem. I'm gotting to be an old  woman, but I never let  a day pass without mystifying my husband.    I mako an  enigmatical  remark that ho has to think  about or I do or .refuse to do  something  that makes him open his dear, kindly eyes  and stare; but, mind  you, I am gracious  and  loving with it all.    Then. I coquette  with him.   It is a sad day with a husband  when  a wife .leaves off- her  mask of coquetry.    You know flirting  is one thing  and coquetry another.    A refined woman  is  born with  a  sweet spirit of  coquetry,  but the art of flirting is acquired and is  generally somowhnt vulgar.'    You can coquette and be perfectly sincere, but flirting  is merely another name for insincerity."  ���������".You accuse the girl here of .wavering  affection,"  rejoined  the  spinster in  her  mostSnofcallio voice.   "You do her wrong;  she is but stoking a constant man.   If 6he  ever finds one, she won't have any trouble  , in hojdipg him.   Of course shi? can attract  - men by the wholesale.    Any woman can,  and  I  don't add if she has  good  sense.  ' Brain is not a necessary commodity in at-  . traoting men, but flattery is.     Some sour  , old. maid has said that thero  never was a  man  so homely, so  halt, so deficient.in  . beauty or brain, that he could  not get a  .  wife when  he wanted to, but I think she  misstated  her proposition.    There  never  was a woman so unattractive but what, if  she  sot her mind  to it, she could attract  some man long  enough to get him where  'be couldn't get away if he wanted to. It's  .all  w.ell enough  for young  people   and  married ones to have their jokes about old  maids, but 1 af sure you most of us are self  elected.! However, if a woman, after, she  has attracted a man, wishes to hold "him,  ������he must  take care not   to be   too clover.  Men   like  women  who   are. just   clever  enough to grasp their cleverness and are  just dull enough to admire it immensely.  If woman wants  to hold  man, she  must  admire him  end make  him feel  It.    She  needn't keep  dingdonging  into his  ears  how much she admires "his wit or stupidity, as the case may be, but she must fee)  admiration and  look it and  seem even to  breathe it.    And if she does that another  woman  ten  times  prettier, cleverer  and  richer,   but  with  less  subtlety, couldn't  drag him'from her side." c  '.'Thia.talk of how women can attract  and hold men strikes me as. being very  Strang^," spoke up the widow,.and the old  maid smiled significantly. ''Nature made  women to be won and men to win. I.  . think it.is easy enough for a single girl or  woman to both attract and hold men.  Women look at their men admirers, but  do not examine them. But a woman examines her husband, and he examines her,  so frequently both are put to it to know  how to hold each other, to retain each other as comrades, as friends, as well as in the  closer relationship. If husband and wife  ���������were more intimate and less familiar in  their relationship to each other, each  would retain the charm for the othor that  they found so dear in the clays of sweet-  beartship. Married people aro ,-so apt to  mistake familiarity for intimacy, for closeness. A man and his wife may bo very  familiar with each other and still be as far  apart as the poles. When a woman marries, she should make every effort to retain,  hor girlish modosty, her lovo of privacy.  She should make hersolf as beautiful as  possible, but she shouldn't under'any conditions allow her husband to see how she  does it. A rose, as an expression of ono of  God's most beautiful thoughts for his  children, is a lovely thing to us, but if we  know exactly what that rose was, how it  was made, wo most likely wouldn't cara  half so, much for it."  ;".You'vo all given me so many pointers  on how to keep my men friends," concluded the girl, "that I'm more mixed up than  ever. If 1 could put Harry's soul into  Tom's body and Dick's Jbrain there, I'd  bo all right. Then my friends wouldn't  complain of my not being able to hold a  man aftor I've attracted him long ono.ugh  to make him a husband. You see, I like  ono thing in one best and another thing  in another, and so I go flying around with  nil for a timo until���������well, until they cot  tired of mo, and then I light my candle  again, and another set of moths flutter  into my life. "���������Chicago Inter Ocean.  :     CLAY...PIPES... ' '��������� _     ���������  The "Careefa." Factory In the* World���������-Ron  It Was Started.  The largest tobacco pipe factory in tht  world is located in Appomattox county,  near Pamplin City. --It had been, known  for many years prior' to the war between  the states/that there- existed clay in ��������� that  county well adapted to the manufacture oi  tobacco 'pipes, but the industry was carried  on in the'most desultory way:" Sometimes  a negro at odd times would fashion a few  rude pipes and sell them in the neighborhood, generally at the country store.  - But at the close of the war the whites  'turned their attention to the clay deposits.  It was ' a necessity, and not a matter of  choice.  Tho war  had  swept away everything.  The implements with which the pipes were  manufactured were' simple and rude, and  it must be confessed that the article which  'they, fabricated did   not bear the  closest  possible resemblance  to those turned out  by tho thousand today.  ��������� The pipes were sold to local merchants,  ���������who shipped them to wholesale dealers in  northern cities, who sold.them to retailers  throughout the country.  And now comes tho part of the story  that sounds rather romantic, though it is  every word true.  '  Among the retail dealers who purchased  a lot of these poor men's pipes was a grocery man in a little town in Ohio. I������c sold  them at from 2 to 5 cents apiece and found  them very popular.  Among those wlio purchased one was a  .wealthy citizen of cthe town, who was led  to do so by a less wealthy neighbor, who  had found them sweet smokers. The capitalist was delighted. He smoked1 nothing  celso for some time and finally inquired of  the grocery man as to where the pipes were  made. The latter could only give the  ' name of the wholesale dealer from whom  he had purchased, but from him the gentleman learned that the pipes were made  from a clay bank in the county of Appomattox, in Virginia.  The gentleman saw������that the pipes were  of very rude construction. Ho saw also  that wero proper machinery used they  could be turned out with great rapidity  and that a profit could bo made at selling  them at a penny apicco. He was growing  interested, and finally his mind dwelt so  much upon the subject that he came over  to Virginia and to the little town of Appomattox. Ho went at once to the store  of the dealer in pipes and was not long in  finding that the best wove made at a bank  about eight miles away, at what is now  Pamplin City.  The rest is soon told. The land was  purchased for a small sum, buildings erected, the latest machinery installed and soon  the kilns were smoking.���������Richmond Dispatch.  AARON   BURR'S CHECK.  It' Is Probably the Oldest Bank Check In  Existence.  ., In the' Marion  National bank, in this  city, the following check is on exhibition:  Cashier of the Bank:.  Pay to Mr. John Nielson or bearer one hundred and fifty pounds in paper. ,  New York, the second day of June, 1798.  ������1.50..0..0.* . *    Aaron Bunn.,  During the war Colonel H. C, Towne,  now superintendent of the national cemetery near Lebanon, held a command in  Sherman's army. W7hen the army was at  Allatoona Pass, Colonel Towno sent a detail of Union soldiers under the command  of a lieutenant to the Etowah river on a  foraging expedition. Among other places  ���������visited by the detachment of soldiers was  the plantation of Governor Brown. The  "residence was deserted, and in searching  the house one of the soldiers found the  original of the above check in Governor  Brown's library. He took it with him  /and on his return to.camp;presented it to  Colonel Towne, who carried it on his per-:  son during the rest of the war. When  peace was proclaimed and Colonel Towne  returned to Wisconsin, he presented the  Burr check to the cashier of the bank in  his native town, who had it framed and  ! hung in the bank as a valuable relic. Subsequently photographic copies of the check  were taken. Colonel Towne was given  one of those copies, and he presented it to  Cashier J. M. Knott of the Marion National bank. The original is still on exhibition in the "Wisconsin bank.  Doubtless it is the oldest bank check in  .existence, and the fact that the drawer  was a national celebrity during his life  makes it a very rare and valuable relic.���������  Lebanon Falcon.  ..   AN 'INCONVENIENT  BIRD.  A'Housewife's Experience-"With a Hungry  Man and a Turkey.  In the days "before the war" a family  of hard working people lived in a border  county of Mississippi. Their home was  situated upon the "big road" which led  from Alabama northward into Mississippi.  They did not keep a tavern, but they often  fed the wayfarer.  One Saturday the house-wife roasted a  large turkey, baked a batch of bread and  made a number of pies. -She was ready  for her Sund.*iy dinner and expected to go  to church the next day. Tho services wero  held a number of miles away.  - After 2 o'clock that Saturday afteruoon  a single horseman appeared. He asked for  his dinner and fed Ins horse in the ample  stable of tho farmer. Tho housekeeper  was busy and the man in haste, so she sot  the turkey before him, thinking that he  would not mako much of'an impression  upon it.  Tho stranger sat down in front of tho  turkey and set to work. He cue into tlie  breast of one side and ate it all. His appetite was only whetted, lie demolished  the wing and then cut off the leg. The  drumstick disappeared and the upper joint  was stripped. The woman stood aghast.  Sho pattered out to the back porch, where  her pies wero cooling, and, selecting a  tempting apple pie, set it before her guest.  Ho put.it to one side and turned the un-  , touched side of tho turkey toward him.  He cut off the wing aud the leg. Tlie  woman saw her Sunday dinner disappear  before her eyes.  At length, having exposed all the bones  of the large fowl, ho attacked tho pie and  left not a crumb. t  ,The woman' sank in a chair near by.  She was too much overcome for a moment  to speak. .  Then she said:  "You'seem to havo enjoyed the turkey.  Thero is not so much left as I expected."  She could say no more. She felt that  words were inadequate to tho occasion.  The man pushed back his chair, took  out his quill toothpick, crossed his knecst  and sighed with satisfaction. Then he"  spoke:' ������������������ L  "Well, madam," said he, "a turkey is a  very inconvenient bird."  He fell to ruminating. His countenance  expressed the benevolence which a good  dinner is apt to produce in a man.  The woman waited for him to explain,  but he was silent.    Then she said:' ,  "Why is the turkey inconvenient?"       ''  "Well, madam, it is a , little too much  for ono and not quite enough for two," replied her guest. ���������  The woman fainted. ��������� St. Louis ^ Republic.  Care "Kjffected.  The wise physician frequently finds  It necessary to ' 'minister to a mind diseased" rather than to the body that  merely sympathizes with it. A young  woman who had gone from her home in  an inland village to visit friends in the  great city for the first time in her life  soon began to lose all appetite and grow  thin and hollow eyed.  Her friends, fearing that she was going into a decline, called in a physician  in spite of her ..protests and asked, him  to prescribe for her. He asked a few  questions, noted her symptoms, gave  her malady a scientific name and said  as he handed her a"bottle of pellets:  "It will be necessary, miss, first of  all, for you to leave the crowded city.  The air here is not ��������� good for you. Have  vou friends in the country?''  , "'Why, I live in the country, doctor,-"  ihe replied.  "Very good. Return, then, to your  homo, engage in light exorcise, with  frequent walks in tho open air, and take  five of these pellets every morning before breakfast." .  She returned to her village homo, oh.-,  served the doctor's directions faithfully,  paying particular., attention to taking  the medicine, and was well in less than  a. week. ' ��������� ���������  Meeting the family phsyician ono  lay,, it occurred to her to tell him her  -jxporience. fie listened to her, asked to  see the pellets,-tasted them, and, finding'  them to be merely sugar unmedicated,  said:     - ,  "What did  your city doctor tell you  was your ailment?"  "He said it was nostalgia."  "H'mph! Do you know what nostalgia means?''   <-  "No, sir." f  ''It means  homesickness.''���������Youth's  Companion.  AMATEUR DETECTIVE WORK.  ><".;' Two, Cheap Knights.  An amusing story is. told of Sir Ellis  Ashmead-Bartlctt, the American born  ..knight. Sir Ellis, who is a brother of  Baron Burdett-Coutts, whose aged bride  on their marriage gave him her name and  1250,000 a year for life, owes his knighthood to the fact that when Lord Salisbury  formed his third ministry Mr. Ashmead-  Bartlctt was left out of the calculations.  In the first two ministries he had figured  as a lord of the admiralty. At the same  time he was knighted to salve his feelings  the same dignity was conferred on Blun-  dell Maple, a millionaire furniture dealer  in Tottenham Court road, a shabby sort oi  district in London. Immediately Lord  Salisbury received from each of the prospective knights a letter protesting in the  strongest terms against the knighting ol  the other as tending to cheapen the honor  conferred.  It Made One Man   Dishonest and I^t the  Guilty Escape. .  "Some years ago," said a Kensington  manufacturer of cloth, "I found that my  mill was being robbed; once or twice a  month a piece of finished goods would disappear. , As the thefts were all from the  finishing'room suspicion naturally pointed  to the hands there, and after a long while  of amateur' detecting I felt pretty sure 1  had my man. Yet I' had no evidence  against him; nor could I, to save my soul,  get hold of any. I just suspected him, you  know. So one pay day I tested his honesty.  .'' On pay day, you must understand, each  hand's money is given him in a sealed envelope, on which is written his time, his  rate per hour and the amount due. Well,  there was due this man $12, and in his envelope I put $>22��������� $10 too much. As I had  expected, he said nothing. So I discharged  hirn. This man had worked for me eight  years. Times were hard, and he lay idle  for eight or nine months; then moved  away with his family.  "Scarcely had he moved away when the  thefts, which had ceased for nearly'a year,  began once more. Once more 1 turned detective, this time with better luck, fori  caught the thief, and I trr.ced every piece  of cloth he had stolen. The man discharged  was innocent save in the case of the $10."  "One of tho manufacturer's small audience spoke gravely:"Yes, you did a clever  thing. You made a thief of an honest  man.' You placed in ah honest man's way  an almost unconquerable temptation when  one considers the size of the, salary you  paid him. The man fell because you tripped him up. \ The-Bible, I think,' says  something somewhere about such deeds,  and you are promised your reward."���������  Philadelphia Record.  Ambition.  We start out to conquer fortune-  Yes, and fame���������but time reveals  That we learn to be contented  If we get cur clothes and meals.  ���������Chicago Eecord.  ' Too Much Reform.  Lawyer���������Well,, amity, what can I do for  you?  Aunt Ebony���������I want a decvo'ce from  ma husban.  "What has he been doing?"  "Doin? Why, he done got relig'n, an  we ain't had a chicken on de table foh a  month.  Most Acute.  Yes, it is the province of woman  '���������')' ".Old Age. '���������: ���������  Sir 'George Lewis held it to be impossible for any one to reach 110. Hardly any  one, he contended, ever lives to be 100..  Professor Owen and others asserted that  no one has e������rcr been proved to be over 104  years old. Lack of accurate information  and mendacity, according to Dr. Kain, is  the explanation of the greater number of  centenarians being reported from , the ignorant classes. Education iand comfort  are not, in.his view, unfavorable to long  life, but on the contrary tend to protract  it. The excesses of the rich do' no doubt  shorten their lives, but it is the belief of  the experts, says Dr. Kain, "that centenarians are proportionately more numerous in the higher social strata than in the  lower." Statistics as to the effect of occupation on longevity concur to show that  men of thought are commonly long livers.  Faithful Tray.  Irate Patron���������You told me that was a  good watchdog when you sold him tome,  and last week burglars got into the house  when we were all away, and now silverware, dog and all arc gone.  Dog Dealer���������I allow the dog has gone  along to watch the silverware don't you  think?-  Shc-  to suffer in s-ilencc,  He���������In silence?  ing indeed.  That must be suffer-  The. French method of ��������� administering  castor oil to their ailing children is truly  characteristic. The oil is poured into a  pan over a moderate fire, an egg broken  into it and the mixture well stirred Tho  omelet thus made is served with a little  salt, susar or a spoonful of currant jelly.;  Success.  The heights to winch great mon have hoppGd  Were not attained by sleight of wrist,  But they, though elevators-stopped,  Kept climbing upward, hand o'er fist.  ���������Detroit Free Press.  A Lost Opportunity.  "Well, Uncle Wiliam,'/ said the  president of the emigration society, "I  s'pose you hearn do news?"  "No.    Whut's stirrin?"  ���������  "W'y, you ain't hearn 'bout do treasurer?"  "Not a word.   Whut he done now?"  "Run off wid de funds���������tuk ever'  dollar wid him!"  "Lawd, Lawdl En how much wuz  in de treasury?" P :  "Fo' hundred dollars!"  "En you say he gone wid it?"  "Clean gone!"  The old man seemed wrapped in  thought and had a faraway look in his  eyes. " Fo' hundred dollars!" he repeated to himself. "Fo' hundred dollars 1  En des ter think er it! I wuz de treasurer er de society fer two weeks en  had ever' dollar er dat money in my  power 1 My, my! Fo' hundred dollars���������  fo' hundred bright, silver dollars in a.  shinin lump! Bre'r Johnson, will you  please, suh, .do me a favor?"  "Des name it, Uncle William. "  "Take des neah hick'ry stick, snh, en  hit me 'cross de head en den kick mo  ha'd ez you kin, suh, ont de do  v.. V  V  Fain and Fayn.  Barry Pain relates that he once sent  the late James Payn a series of parodies  for CornhilL Payn accepted them, but  there was a difficulty. One of them was  a parody of an author, X., who was a  personal friend of Payn's and a very  sensitive* man, who would not take the  sincerest form of flattery in the spirit  in which it was offered. Now, it happens that there is a considerable resemblance between the style of X. and that  of another author of the same school, "Y.  Payn suggested that Pain should-.; take  out X. 's name from the title of the parody and substitute that of the school of  fiction to which he belonged. "Then,"  he said, "X. will think that it's meant  for Y."  "But, " Pain asked, "what about Y.?"  "That's all   right,"   he   answered.  " Y." will know that it's meant for X."  A lion in a  junglo will jump 25 feet or  30 feet from a standing start. ,u  A Haunted Railroad Car.  Every one has heard of haunted houses,  but the railroad men know there are  haunted cars as well. For instance, on  the L. and N. there is a caboose known  as "1908" which carries on in the most  supernatural manner. What doycu say  to a caboose that suddenly begins., to  shake and shiver like a man with the  ague, and this, too, when it is standing  alone on the track? My informant solemnly asserted also that "1908" is subject to attacks of hysteria. It jumps up  and down without the slightest provocation. He says it did the most remarkable thing, however, one day near Richmond. It was standing on a siding with  all brakes set. All at once it started and  ran up grade, over an embankment into  a field.  Dr. Mary Walker  The ex-queen of  by her court, was  conversation   with  Sits X,ike a Woman.  Hawaii, surrounded  engaged in earnest  Dr. Mary.. Walker.  The little doctor was neat and spick and  span* from the collar of her Prince.Albert coat to the soles of her little boots.  She was dressed like a man. She wore  no petticoats, but the serpent trail of  6ho petticoats her foremothers were is  over her still, for all the evening she  Kat with her knees close together. She  wears trousers, but the inherited restraint of the petticoats binds her knees.  She may dress like a. man, but she'll always sit as women sit.���������Washington  Post.  *> Steel Hairpins Doomed.  The attack now is upon the steel hairpin, for^specialists declare that the shell or  bone pin- is better for the hair and that  many -women have suffered martyrdom  from nervous headache without once sus-  pectiii** that tho cause lay in a metal hair- '  pin.  But what shall we do without tho little  implement which might be called ' 'woman's best friend?". How are wo going to'  -simply the 75 demands that we make upon  a hairpin? We use it to button our gloves  and our shoes, to . open the drawer whose  lock is gone, to cut the leaves of ourbooks^  to clean our husband's pipe, to pin on the  extra wrap, to ��������� draw tho cork when the  corkscrew cannot be found, to wedge, a  rattling window sash, to stone raisins, to  fasten a card to the bell pull in showtime,  to do duty as a bodkin and render no one  knows how many little services of this  sort. ���������   , ' t  The shell substitute i3 good for none" of  these things, and if it be doomed to crowd  its humbler relative from tho' market we  can only exclaim, "Though lost to sight,  to memory deal-!"���������Exchange.  To Enjoy Cycling:.    '���������' <  " "The great secret of safe, enjoyable and  beneficial cycling," said tho woman with  the scarlet cockade in her gray cycling  hat, "is not in flying over the country like  a carrier pigeon anxious to get back to its  ���������coty but in letting the wheel set tho pace.  I have found that the pace will vary sometimes to an astonishing extent if I pursue  this method throughout a day's ride. It  seems to be a sort of barometer which indicates one's condition,- the state of the  road, wind, etc. I have found that if one  rides thus, 'wisely and not toowoll,' the  wheel will travel faster toward evening  than at any other t imo. But if I set mj  own pace tho evening invariably finds mc  doing about eight miles an hour with  great effort and weariness. Allowing the  wheel to set the pace is the secret of. never -'  getting tired' and of associating cycling,  with no sensation less agreeable than exhilaration."���������New York Commercial Advertiser.  CheerfalGIrl*. ,       -  Good and healthy girls are almost always cheerful. No novelist would consider  his youthful heroine complete if a "ringing laugh" were omitted from the list of  her charms, and in real life the girls who  do not* laugh now and then arc seldom  liked by their companions. Even beauty  will not save them. A belle who fails to  understand the jest of her admirers and  smiles in amiable bowilderment while  other people arc laughing is soon left with  no consolation save to wonder what anybody can see in her rival, a girl with "tip  tilted" nose, perhaps, and a largo mouth  and freckles, but the happy possessor of a  pair of merry eyes and a cheerful mind.  The gift of gayety is, indeed, of great  value, but it must bo gayety which originates in a kind and cheery heart, not that  which is born of mere excitement or grati-'  fied vanity.���������New York Ledger.  Poking the Sickroom fir*.  One of the small things confided by a  trained' nurse is that to poke an open firo  in', tho invalid's rOom a wooden stick  makes less noise than the usual metal  poker. This will ignite perhaps, but may  be promptly put out by thrusting into tho  ashes, and in some emergencies where tho  patient would otherwise be aroused from  a much needed sleep a knowledge of tho  stick poker is useful.  An Empren Honored.  The empress of Japan takes her meals  with her husband, an honor accorded to  no previous empress. The emperor is said  to be opposed to the feminine fashion of  .stained teeth and shaved eyebrows and in  favor of enlarging the rights of women...  The empress is an ���������earnest friend of women's hospitals.   ' \,.-.-;-.: .'.'���������������������������..,  1 One pint of cold water, to; which has  been added the beaten white of one egg,  will be found useful in cleaning gold picture frames. Apply the mixture with a  sponge, then wipe with a soft flannel.  Take a second cloth perfectly dry and rub  the frames lightly.  Odd scraps of bread dried, not burned,  in tho oven, pounded and finely sifted, are  the most satisfactory material for bread  crumbing croquettes, sweetbreads, cutlets,  etc. The> beaten egg works better, too, if  a dessertspoonful of water be mixed with it.  The French way of boiling an egg is to  put it in boiling water and: let- it remain  until, tho water becomes cold or on the side  of ��������� the stove without boiling for 10 to 20  minutes, according as it is desired soft or  hard.  When the rubber on the wringer breaks,  take a piece of muslin 4 inches wide and  wind back and forth around the roller. It  will not soil the clothes and may bo used  auite awhile longer.  Spots on the Lips. ;  "Very often little pimples and tiny boilB  will come on tho lips and turn to rather  unpleasan'; looking sores. These spots  sometimes ariso from feverishness, which  is caused by tho state of the digestive system. You should at onco put yourself on  a very strict diet. Avoid meat, rich dishes,  pastry/new bread, cake, nuts, wine, spirits and sugar. Live on plain, dull, unsweetened food and eat fruit and vegetables in preference to almost anything else.  The lips themselves can bo touched with a  little powdered alfcm. '....-  Cause For Thanks.  "Here is a short poem taken frc:u (lie  French, " said the would be contributor.  "The French should be everlastingly  grateful,'' snorted the editor as lie  opened the door and bowed a series of  short bows.���������Detroit Free Press.  dish  E"  er~  Delia's Little Supper.  When'Delia brings her chafing  To make an oyster stew,  It bubbles once���������a hasty stir���������  And, la, the task is through.  My share I eat with relish, and  I neither smile nor grin.  Dear Delia's mother made that stew  Ere Delia brought it in.  ���������Detroit Free Press;  U  ���������sM  ii  -I  #1  '3 Ifilptfi  T  BYE  LOW SONG.  Softly and softly the wind does blow,  Bye low, bye low. -1  Brighter the little star glances grow,       ;  Bye low, baby. '.  Moon mother puts on her- silver crown; .'  Bockaby, baby, in your white gown,    ������ *  "    ' Bye low, baby. ,1  Softly and softly the wind does blow,  Bye low, bye low,  Waving the lily buds to and fro,  . ,  Bye low, baby.  Kissing them gently, "Good night, goodnight)  Sleep till the morning and wake in'the light,"  Bye low, baby. ' ' '   -  Softly and softly the wind doe's blow,  Bye low, byo low. '  Up in the elm where the cradle nests show,  Bye low, baby,  Little birds drowsily swing the night through,  Warm and content, my own baby, like you,  ,   Bye low, baby.  Softly and softly tho wind does blow,  Byo low, bye low.  Softer and sweeter his whispers grow,  Bye low, baby.,'   *  Far and away, o'er tho wators dim,  Baby shall dreamily follow him,  Bye low, baby.  ���������L. Arolyn Caverly in Ladies'- Homo Journal.  WAS J.T HARQXU.CK?  HIS VOTE  BEAT  HIM.  How  the Invention of Telegraphy "Led to  a Congressman's Defeat.  ���������Dr. Gatling, the gun man, is a relative  cf General Lew Wallace aud tells the following,, story about tho latter's father:  "David Wallace was,a member of congress  from an Indiana district when S. F. B.'  Morse asked the ' government to givo him  $40,000 for the purpose of building the  first telegraph line from .Baltimore to  Washington. Wallace was a member of  the committee to which tho bill providing  for the appropriation was referred, and it  ' happened when the matter caino up for  consideration that ho was absent. The  vote in committee was a tie, and so Wallace was sent for. Ho voted to give the in-  ,ventor the $40,000, and accordingly the  bill went through.  "This happened along toward the end  of Wallaco's term, and when he went home  to strive for re-election he found' that the  news concerning his action on the Morse  telegraph appropriation bill had preceded  . him. A man named William Brown, who  afterward became prominent in congress,  had been nominated by tho Democrats,  and he was conducting a vigorous.campaign.  "In thoso days joint stumping tours  were customary, and tho two candidates  went from place to place through the district, asking' for tho votes of the people.  Brown's platform consisted of only one  plank. That was the criminal record ol  his opponent.  "He would get up before a crowd of voters and ask them if ��������� they had heard how  Wallace had voted, to give $40,000 of the  public's money to a man who proposed to  transmit messages by means of a wire be-  tweon Baltimore and Washington. The  ridiculousness of puch a thing was so ap-  ' parent that Wallace's action could not be  considered as a mere mistake. It was  clearly an outrage upon the people���������a deliberate swindle^    .  " 'You may hot believe,' Brown was "in  tho habit, of concluding, 'that any man  with a spark ,of common sense would vote  away the public funds for the furtherance  of such a chimerical scheme, but the gentleman is here before you. Ask him if I  have told tho truth or not, and let him explain his action if he can.'  '' Wallace of course admitted that" he had  voted away the money, and ho tried to explain what Morse proposed to do- but it  was all in vain. His constituents made up  their minds that he was either a fool or  something worse, and he was therefore  snowed under at the polls.  '"It is gratifying to know that Wallace  lived to see the telegraph established as an  important factor in civilization, but I suppose there are people in that district who  still think he was a fool and that he deserved defeat.  The Old Bachelor .Recalls'a Reminiscence  of His Younger Days.   <  "Fate has some .devious ways of doing business,'' musecr-^-tlire old bachelor.  "I would have been a married man at  the, head of a family now but for an  intervention tliat inay or may not have  been providential? * Y-e-u- can't- tell-'which  it was. *. - ;-. -.^ ..      j>  /'Twenty yeeajs ago I met a most  charming girl and decided "f?o make her  my wife if 'it was itf the cards. 'I met  her at a quiet country,report;, where she  had a little cottage with an aunt and a  housekeeper. I always met' her in her  ramrbles or- when she-- consented to meet  me for a boat ride, for the aunt was a  man 'hater and had solemnly promised  the girl's parents fo return her to them  heart free as when she/kift them. There  was no possible chance of making terms  with the aunt, and I /carefully concealed from her the fact of -my existence. I  finally proposed ah ������������������ elopement as tho  only solution -of the problem, and the  dear girl consented.,  "I met hor" by"1 appointment in  the  iftcrnoon.. It. was- just .-/or a inpment,  luring which I said I would have a lad-  ier at her window at' fniauight and rc-  juested that she have everything packed so<tha't it could be hurriedly removed.    That was  all, but -it appears that  the   aunt was  on the other side of the  little  copse  and within -.earshot.    She  only heard  a strange voice.  There had  been several  robberies' at  the little resort.  Burglars had planned an attack.  She hastened home to tell the housekeep-  3r of the plot.    They would not tell the  girl and frighten her, but act for themselves. I approached stealthily through  the garden at midnight.  Suddenly from  , within  there was  a  deafening din. It  was created  by hammers .and  tinware,  but it impressed me with the idea that  the world  must be  coming to an end,  and I fled.   When she learned how I Had  been   put  to  flight by two  old women  when she was. the prize I wras after, she  declined ever to see me again.  I wonder  whether  it was hard  luck?!'���������Detroit  Free Press.  High Lights.  The man who likes to play checkers  would play dominoes if he thought it  wouldn't be found out.  Success would- come- more-- swiftly to  the' average man-rf .he didn't havo to  waste time keeping, other men down.  Woman swallows flattery from any  source, but a cat won't permit her back  to be strokedTby people she doesn't like.  Musicians, wear .long hair to protect  their sensitive ears,; but they never seem,  to care -what happens to other people's  ears. ' " '      ''���������:',  Amiability is a domestic ' drawback.  A woman who never -gets angry -always  puts too  inuch sugar in  her husband's  coffee. " "' "' '   ���������'������������������������������������  . When a man takes all the carpets to  the new house and'p'uts 'them down,  the neighbors praise his wife for moving without making a fuss about it.���������  Chicago Record. <. .. .  ,  ���������"���������Martyrdom."  At the ago of 17 Miss Willard records in  her diary this tragic announcement of the  end of her romping girlhood:  This is my birthday and the date of my  martyrdom.    Mother insists that at last I  must have my hair "done up woman fashion. " She says she can hardly forgive herself for  letting  me "run wild" so long.  ��������� We've  had a great  time over it all, and  here I sit like another Samson  6horn of  his   strength.      That   figure-  won't   do,  though, for the greatest trouble with  me  is that I. never shall  be shorn again.    My  "back" hair is twisted up like a corkscrew.  I carry IS hairpins; my head aches miserably; my feet arc cntangled'ln the skirt of  my hateful new gown. f        ���������    ��������� ���������.'���������-.������������������'-  I can never jump over Wfcnce again so  Jong as I live. As for chasing the sheep,  down in the shady pasture it is out of tlie'  question, and to climb;, Adt**iny^cngle nest  scat in the big bur oak"would'' ruin' 'this  new frock beyond repair. Altogether I  recognize the..fact-.-ihat-,any-occupation's  gone.  '"       '���������"*"* ���������'"���������;���������'*��������� "'���������t,������**<rif*tWXj.;nj,": tots ;~ ������ -.   .  , ������������������  ���������    '���������.  How Ho "Cost His Job.  An exchange tells the story of an old  colored man- who asked'w.wlnto -man if-- ho  could give him work. .The..white man  asked the negro if ..he ha'd a boat. When  the negro replied, "Yes,, boss; "the white  man responded: -.-...���������  "Well, you see all that driftwood floating down the. river?"  ������������������.-;.���������,,���������.-, i.'  "Yes, sah/" was the reply.  "Well, then, " continued the, white man.  "you row out in the river and catch that  driftwood, and I'll give you half you get."  Thccolorcdlman worked hard for awhile,  when all of a sudden he stopped and pulled  for the shore.  On being asked the .reason'for his return, he replied, "Dat,wood: is jest as  much mine as 'tis his. I ain't gwine to  give him any, and so, I'm out of work  ag'in." .  In Missouri.  "Yes, I see-him. What is there that  distinguishes him above the ordinary  citizen?"        ' .-���������.... ^ -  "Begosh, sir, he's the only man in  the township that w.8n't turn his head  whun somebody hollers out 'colonel!' "  "Eccentric, is he?"  y"No,   it  isn't  that.    He'" thinks  he  would have been a .b^iga/licr general if  the war had lasted two weeks longer.''  ���������Chicago Tribune. '-  ,, American Hustlers Abroad.  . "Americans,are great hustlers," said  Porter .Norton, the Philadelphia law-  i yer, a day or two ago in speaking of a  trip he made to Europe a year ago.  "When I was in England, I visited the  northern part of the country and spent  a couple of days fishing in alittle lake.  I got badly sunburned and made up my  mind that I'd look for a drugstore and  buy some witch hazel.  "I walked into a little chemist's shop,  as it is called in England, and asked if  he kept witch hazel. The druggist said  he did, and after rummaging around  his cellar a few minutes brought out a  bottle of witch ��������� hazel which bore the  trade mark of a Philadelphia firm of  chemists. I asked how it was that a  druggist situated in an extreme corner  of England should be selling a compound made in the city of Philadelphia.  He replied that all the preparations of  that kind came from this side of the  ocean, and I soon fonnd out that he  was correct.  "If you- go into a drug-store in any  part of England and ask for quinine,  pheuacetine or any of the thousand and  one tablets put up for the restoration of  health, you'll find that-they are made in  this country nine times out of ten. The  Americans are great advertisers too. I  found that they give the Englishmen,,  the Germans, the French and the 'men  of the other countries of Europe cards  and spades on advertising patent medicines and pretty-nearly everything else  that is advertised , largely."���������Boston  Journal.  The Saffron City.  Havana is bounded   by beauty oh one  side,   by ignorance   on   the, other.  The  approach to it, particularly in the early  morning,   is  exceeded  in loveliness by  perhaps  but   two or  three other ports.  There are many exquisite things in the  world, and among them, near the head  of the list, stands dawn in tbe tropics.  It is  sudden   as  love and just as fair.  Dawn in the Havaneso harbor is a foretaste of what paradise may be.  The tourist who has sailed that way  passes a night beneath stars that are  larger and more neighborly than our  own. The water, too, is1 different. At  Key West it looks like a lawn iii May.  It has the same asparagus green. Then  it, changes. It .becomes seamed with  phosphorus. , As the. stars disappear it  changes again, and very suddenly, into  a sirup of opals!.- At the horizon is a  tender pink. Overhead is a fusion of  salmon and of blue. Just beyond, within rifle range, is an amphitheater of  houses, particolored as'rainbows, tiara-  ed with the pearl points of a cathedral,  girdled with the yellow walls of a  crumbling fort.,        ' ���������  Every city has an aspect and an odor  of its own. Paris, for instance,'has a  white sky and smells like a pretty woman. The aspect of* Havana is saffron.  It smells of rancid oil. In addition it  suggests Seville. Though tbe Moors  have never been there it looks as though  they had.���������Edgar Saltus in Collier's  Weekly.  A  MODERN  JANUS.  How the Cleveland Wag   Badly Fooled ���������  Bis Audience.  A ^mischievous wag perpetrated a  good joke on an immense audience the  day the Fifth regiment left town. He  was at a window' on the third story of  a Superior street building and in scmo  way had possessed himself of a pair of  false faces, one a woman's face, the  other a man's. Holding these' rather  ghastly dummies in his haiidsTThc made  fcheni appear to be looking from the window on the crowd below. ' Tho effect  was extremely realistic, and the people  on(the opposite side of the street were  Dompletely taken in. '    ,  The heads moved naturally, as if try-  hag to, peer  into  tbe  street, and  then  bdbbed back and sideways as if  talking  together.    The pallor of their comjiiex-  ions made them all the more noticeable,  and soon hundreds of  spectators  were  staring up at the window.  -  When one of  the  heads  approached  the   other   and   apparently whispered  some soft nothings in its ear, 500 people  laughed  delightfully.    But .when  the  male face suddenly  imprinted  a  swift  salute on the feminine-  faco  everybody  was shocked.   A second or two later the  male faco suddenly dropped from 'sight,  and a hand arose and smote - downward  after him.  At this the spectators howled  with joy. ,  "Did you  see her, slap  him?" they,.  cried.  "Yes, and served him right." t    '    .  A little later tho male face cautiously  arose, but each dummy kept as far from  the other as possible.  The audience.uri-'  derstbod it all.  They had quarreled.  How *much longer the funny man  wouldhave fooled the-spectators is hard"  to tell,' 'but- a, half dozen young fellows  who happened to be in a higher, story  of-a building opposite, where they could  look'into the room where the show wa3  going on, emitted howls of delight that  soon told the performer he was 'unmasked. '.   '  ' ���������*- r  Whereupon, ho folded up his paraphernalia and hastily stole away.���������Cleveland Plain Dealer." ,   _  Hermit and horse.  An Unpopular Clubhouse.  Very Rarely.  "I say, Smith, how do you like your,  boarding house?"  "Don't think niuch of it. The beefsteak isn't rare enough to suit me.''  "Well, you' bugn't" to pa.trcaize our  establishment. We get steak only twice  a week, w,hich is surely rare enough to  suit -anybody."���������New York'World.  ; ���������  Worth Wajtipg Eor.  - .;''Loved.one, 'be mine.'  True, I'm not  young"-r-.  >?.���������������...' . VV<'). <  , /'Major, your boyish enthusiasm carries"'you too 'fax!' ''Wait *un til you are a  fdw'ycai'S* older, -abcT-tihl-n*"1'���������-���������'  "I shall be dead of .despair. "  ��������� "Ah, it is worth waiting for. "���������Pick  Mc Up.  What He Wanted."  ' Crimsonbeak���������You'Say Koward wants  to go to the war?  Yeast--���������-Ye^he... gay she's  anxious to  face the music.  . "That's 'what l''thought.. I believe  the muMic.is generally in the rear in the  time.of battle, "���������"honkers Statesman.  An Eastern Fortune Teller.  The fortuno tellers of this country  aro not in it witb their contemporaries  in the far east, as may be seen by the  following post card advertisement sent  home from India:  "Price Returned If Proved False.    A  Miracle 1   An Extraordinary Locket!   A-  Great   Wonder!   This  Locket, a  great  Charm, enables us to hold an interview  with our dead relations or friends: presents   before  our  Sight   the  Past,  the  Present, and the Future, the saored pilgrimage places, Rama, Krishna, Christ,  Arjun, Mohamed Prophet, and the vivid  scenes of other^Mahatmas, gives us information of  Heaven, tht* Court of  In-  dra.-Kylas, and other mysterious places,  the result of  cases  pending   in Courts,  profit or   loss in traded the future  rates  of speculations, local and 'foreign market rates,   and   important  news  with '  electric speed!   Tbe present ongoings of '  friends at home and out stations can be  clearly 6een! Journey could be made by  .Railway,  Steamer,  Bicycle,   or  Tramway.    Communications   about   market  rates in England, Africa', America, aud  the other foreign countries can   be  had  only within  five  minutes  and  at  our  own places.   Price of No. 1 Rs. 10, No.  2 Rs. 5, No. 3 Rs. 2.    Postage 6 annas.  .  .   .   Communications to be made only  in English. Gujarati, Marathi, or Hindi.  Apply to, etc."���������London Truth.  "cowtand  without tbe aid of  Ainslie's Magazine.  That Boy Has Business Sense.  A New York leather dealer has a cottage on the Long Island shore. His son,  who is still in school, always likes to  go there in summer. Recently his mother declared she would not go there this  summer for fear of bombardment.  "Oh," said the boy, "the Spaniards  are not rich enough to fire a $1,000 shot  at a $100 house."���������Shoe and Leather  Exporter.  A   Charmer.  "I have fallemhopelessly in love with  her," sighed the strong man of tho museum.  "No wonder," responded tho jealous  ���������woman with the iron jaw and in withering tone. "I have always asserted  that she is the only genuine snake  charmer I ever saw."���������Detroit Free  Press.  She Was Surprised.  Mrs. Huntley������������������It must have been annoying to huve had to appear in court.  What did you do when they asked you  .A Grateful "Alan.      "*-" jj  "Say, come in here and let me buy  you a-cigar.'.',  "Why,   what's happened?   Got  another-baby out at your house?"  fellow I've  asked  nie if -^ was getting ready to go io war.''  ���������Cleveland Leader.  "Nq, but you're the first  met f6r three weeks who  hasn't  Counting the Chickens.  t V,' m> 4 i  First Citizen���������Yoiir congressman  seema-to be an enthusiastic advocate of  "war.  1 Second < Citizen���������Oh, yes. He thinks  of introducing a bill making the anniversary of the capture of Havana a le-  eol holiday.���������New York Truth.  "Failed.  The Idler���������What became of that cattle car yon invented:  The Inventor���������I couldn't got the railroads to take any stock,in it.���������Cincinnati Enquirer.  to give 3*our age?  Mrs. Dustleigh���������Why, I gave it, of  course, 31.  "My goodness! And didn't they fine  you for contempt?"������������������-Chicago News.  ' ���������    .    Not. an ICxsct Science.  ���������'"���������Why" do'";-ycu look so worried, doctor? You'vo'ljrouglit iLtVpdtient through  tu iiho'"Kh.-:jpe';..'���������'������������������      -.' }  '' Yes, exactly. But if I only knew  which oue-d-f the irjeclicines it was'hat  cm-cd !"-M3eitore Welt. .'  to  A Fisherman's Wit.  "Those   Spanish   warships   ought  sell well to the fish tackle dealers."  "What for:"  "Sinkers."���������Cleveland Plain Dealer  He Won't Get Left.  "Now, Tommy," said the mother as sho  handed him an apple,, "you must divide  honorably with your little sister Bessie."  "What's 'honorable,' mamma?" ho asked.  "It means the one that.divides takes the  smallest piece," was the reply.  "Well," said the little diplomat, "then  I'll give it to Bessie and let her divide!"���������  -As. Qobd as an Increase of .Salary.  ���������These are great days for the city office  boy. Every half hour tlie boss sends  him over to. tlie newspaper offices to find  put what arc.i.helatedjiti.bi'ilctii!S.���������Somerville Journal.    " '.'  Away XJit.  Mistress���������Are you up in French dressings? ',���������������������������'  Cook���������All my best gowns is Paris  made, mum.--Detroit Free Press.  His Safe Custom.        .  Bing���������Yes, that's old Spriggings.  Half a dozen doctors havo given him up  at various times during his life.  Wing���������rWhat was tbe trouble with  him?  "He wouldn't pay his bills. "���������L'os-  ton Traveler.  3. reason.  "This proposition to tax chewing  gum,*' said Rivers, "maybe all right  as a war measure, but it is bound to  lead to a good deal of jawing.''���������Chi-  cfiiro Tribune.  i  There Are Exceptions.  Billings���������A man never learns to really know his wife until after they are  married, no matter how long they may  have been engaged.  Darrow���������You're wrong there. Sometimes the girls have little brothers.���������  Chicago News.  Articles IMntle of Eelskin.  An eelskin leather factory'is situated  in a quiet street in the neighborhood of  London bridge.    Here are prepared and  manufactured  various articles from the  skin of the common eel.    The skins are  manipulated   by numerous com/plicated  processes until they resemble and would  easily be taken for leather, although of  a more  glutinous  and  pliable nature.  This   strange   commodity y is  cut  into  long, thin-strips and plaited very closely together for whiplashes and to cover  portions'of tho handles of more expensive whips.    Certain kinds of lashes and  harness laces arc also-made of c'-.lskia.  This leather is almost indispensable  in  articles of this description, where flexibility allied  with an'uncommon toughness is desired.���������Invention.  Torpedoes In the War of 1813.  I have in my possession an old book  of the. bound copies of a weekly ,\heet  published during the1 war of 1812 and  called,.The War. While reading it over  I found the following description of tho  defenses of New York at that time. It,  may interest your readers:  "Defense of New   York.���������Aline  of  torpedoes,   intended,   if   necessary,    to  stretch^across  the  Narrows, are  completed   and   can at 12 hours' notice   be  placed tp.blow up most, if not all, vessels attempting to pass Forts Richmond  and Hudson.    The forts on each side of  the  Narrows   mount   upward   of   100  heavy cannon, with   the  necessary apparatus'" for  hoating   shot.    These,   together with   the numerous  other   forts  in the harbor, it is supposed, will render this city perfectly safe from any attempt of the enemy."  This account is fou*nd. printed undsi  the issue of Thursday morning, July 27,  1813*.���������Boston Transcript.  -'.���������   Greatest Electric I/ight.   . /  Fort Monroe will soon possess the  greatest electric searchlight in the  world. It will guard the entrance to the  Chesapeake aud has a beam of ligb;  nine feet in. diameter. The light is so  blinding that it cannot be looked on at  short range, and it even hurts the eyes  when they are closed. It will illuminate an object 100 miles off and can be  seen on tbe clouds at even a greater distance.���������Boston Globe.  s ���������:  An Illinois. Character Fastens Himself to  a Plpiy and Turns Up the Soil.   '  Congressman Robert R. Hitt, chairman of the house committee on foreign  affairs and who represents the ninth  Illinois district, occasionally receives a  letter from a queer old constiinent who,  resides on an island in tlie Mississippi  river/ The,land-is in Illinois-, though  it is cut, off., from the mainland by a  slough which the swift current has out  through the soil of Jo Daviess county.  This old   man, now   in   his  seventy-  third year, has resided on the island 27  years. ' He is a  hermit of .the most eo- ,  centric ^character, living entirely alone  'and away from  sight or. sound   of'any  other hurqan   being.    He is completely  isolated, ''tint rnde hut" being hidden in  ,a network  of  willow   brush   and wild  grapevines.    His hut cannot'tie reached  ���������without tho aid df ,a boat and a   guide,  who must mid his,way through a maze  of  sloughs   which - wind   around   in  a/  thousand   acres  of  lowlands.    The old  lman-.is disturbed  only- by high   water  which has three times invaded his abode  and ''washe'dX" him   off 'the  island.    He  wonld   like  to  have  J\lr.   Hitt induce >  Uncle'Sam' to* build  a dam across th'e -  lowland tb^-protect' his little farm .on"  the island. , ,   '       <.,  "���������' Tboold'man is named'Gottlieb Leit-  sof. ,He was/ born- in' the' province of  ,-Eornerania-.?Prussia, .73' yearsago. He  corner from-a family of warriors. Two  of-.h-iSjEons distinguished themselves in  the war with Austria in 186,6 and again  in the.Franco;Prussian conflictjin,l870.  He says he'has written'his'congressmau -  that if any help'is needed to whip the  dons he will emerge from his home in  the brush and tako a willing hand.   '  Leitsof cooks, eats and  sleeps  in  a ,  little room, ten feet square.   It is apart  of a hut which he built with   his own  hands. ' He has a flock of chickens,, a  two .cats.    He farms the. land .  man  or  beast.   He  has constructed  a queer plow after his  own  odd 'ideas.   It is made from 'the'  forked'brancb of a tree. The forks serve/-  as handles and thills.   Tbe odd feature   '  about the contrivance is'that the share-  points backward:   ,  1 The aged Prussian harnesses his own,  body and bitches himself to this plow.'  His. harness   fits   over (>is  back   and  around !^is waist. He couples on to the   -  share by means of a -wire reaching from!  his'harness.''Then he stands between  the thills,..which he takes hold of with  hi*  hands.-���������He  walks-.backward -like  a horse  in  its- breeching. -  The share  takes hold  in  the soft soil and plows a  furrow four  inche** ��������� deep.-   This ia all'  that is necessary in such rich land.  In this manner he has broken up ,  many acres. He raises enough stuff to  support him and-keep his stock. His  taxes-are always promptly paid.. In his  old age he performs all kinds of hard ,  work without experiencing any deleterious results. He takes a turn at hunting and fishing, is a good shot and a.  lucky angler.���������Philadelphia Press. ,    .    Jl*-&  ������  ,**'*!  - ��������� ft  '- *'���������:;  -<, j-4l  ������������������'     "ij*ii'ir%  I '   ,1 Y    1   .'    > >;".  ���������'"|>f''A[  ,Y       ,-    ,      \Si4l  !. .,'"��������� ..l*.l{l  ' "  '   ?���������"''[  - /' v-t r  _.    '~v^l  1 >" ������, "5-,l  '- -<��������� *  'l'T������H������T\l  '      \ ijjH  ft  - -.    TV'S V I  'J       '     -'Xr  /- .   , -    ,  v.M-1  -J.,..   '    ��������� ,-   ;������������,  /������������������������������������y^-W;,  .'.���������^-i'M  -.-'V-.-^rf  Y        Y.       I    lf, Y..Y,���������.|  U<    -',-r    tUl  i-  <-,"C-,.-���������. I  ���������i        ( Si *. **-  -,   * ;-^'i>������  \      r' T  'V'VA^I  .���������"Ml  ' :   .   - " >E'i'l  .ii1 . -Hi' UJ.HW  m\au \tv*i\L. ������"'. ummm  *p-E   Sgfffl-WEEgl^r  ���������.'���������������ij;,n-|    'jJ...,.i'..^JU...A ���������     ll'Ul 1   ���������   g-qlgBBff.-LANP.  e, jaAy-gx-pA-y, eg?, sum, ie#e  "X.Y.    JIS   '^-.L- J   '   .ii.    .     -B.,'J     .'.���������-���������U-Y-lT-'       TW'III.I ,,l.     ���������     .     .tljj  ���������JW'UI    1W  t., a   i������ l..  "Wi,  r s  TUfflK'HIKLT  HIS,  Cumberland,   9.. C  v i������W*4    ivery   Tuesday    ������������W*  Satufd������>y,  M  Whitney, GrtJor,  TERMS OP SU������J3ORJPTJ0J������>  yVVJ>L.ULII.( .        J.I!-"^t^F���������mil IJJI. ...PHI  Rate's' qf advertising;  Pne >*<& per 'year, qnfm-*w*&������ $���������������<*>  ������.'     ������.'!    w rnonth,     >���������*      " ������,jfo  Luca.1 nprioe per linf ������      # ,*o  ���������For both  ,issu<5* pNErVALr   a4diftopal.  =99  one VEA& fay ������������atf     . fytOQ  PER MONTH by .carrier ,?5  SINGLE    CQPY     fry������   C$M?-  ���������mmmm  ^Advertiser* who van* tMr ������4  Manfred, ffcoubj ge* pppjr i* *>7  19 a.in, day b*fcre iaam,  Peatb$,  $0 Genes each insertion.  No Adve.rtjsinent jose^ for Ussfhan  k o cenjts.  Persons faihffg to get T������* WSJW? r#���������  jrulariy should notify the OfFtiCg,     ,  Persons haying any business wjth T'ijs  Nkws wijl please pall at the otjjgft or  rite.  When writing ������ommuni������ajtjons to  ���������thjs paper, ,������W?b ojf 0NE WBOtfW of  paper us*d,    Printer* po NOT furn, .copy.  SATURDAY, OCT. 29th, 1-998  1  ' MA..   I. HItW  Bo Britain an4 France aro putting on their war pafr nt, We hope  there wtfl bo no blood ghe4; stiU H  WQn't 4q to be bulldosed ������Ht of  W* rights ty fear of war,  ->  Glanae, foo4, agents* an4 ph.eer-  ���������fijlne^s are the four .essentia)* for  health as laid <jLown jn a popular  work, We don't unders|ban4 what  Ib meant by glame, bijt h������*W no  difiicuUy ������n endorsing tb.e last  three rnentipned things, which ordinarily should answer fa* purr  pose,  From Winnipeg ft* ^ws #a8l?;  ^Awjful weather J" Jn far off Bar  yana the streets are laid to fcaye  the appearance of rivers. , Forfcuiir  aWy we have only w������t weather at  ������he worst, we are top near the gujf  to haye any flood". Tb������ weather  is disagreeable at tfrneg, but is ney-  pr very had, and as a general tfifag  it inay be sajd to average up pretr  ty well with the rnos* ?avore4 cop-  rjitioned cliinate. Jt isij't &l\ nice  anywhere, There are son>e 4fawrr  foacIts everywhere,  ft was the 13th of Qctob^r 18S8 tb������t J.  ftnighfo above QysfeBr Jliy*r, ������������d oW Wni.  ���������^esf, a iad of abfluH?>W������,   ���������������<*   ������   do8  wetf'makmitinB ������������ ���������������������wr P������������������*f    J������  pome way &.eygofr separated, the ,dpa and  young Wfl-it going jn oap djreotipn, and  gnight iff another, W������J ���������topped Wder a  big -troo, %? dog ���������������> hii npols, ajid a rustling  apund caused the h*4 tp Jopk up. Aboye  his head, upon ������ large Jiinb. >at ������ huge panther, hU ey.es gleaining ljke potf. fit firs, In  another instant ft dropped down upon |he  back of -the 4Pg which in a twinkling F������"  borne wit of eight. -The boy dfPPP^ h������  ^un, hat, pt������:t and ran for .dear tffe.  )*^night aftArwards, ir>^conipajawi by the  youngstier, went back in ������ two ppdeavpr t^>  gel* the gun, but neither that |V?r  the   dog  JLOCAL B38.?EPjSr  John Mahrerof Mahrpr & Cfe., waa -ap  Wednesday.  Mr. Bloomingdale paid the town a {-frit  this week:  A. Dick, Inspector of Minesu waa up  Wednesday, returning Friday morning.  W. E. NorriB, secretary of th* Union  Brewery Co., was up on a baaineu trip thU  week;  WANTED���������A tenant for the corner  shop, next City Hall. Enquir at N������ws  Office.  The outlines of the new   aohool   building  1 1  with its tower, ia .first Been as one approaches the town.  James Dunsmuir, M.P.P., arrived Wednesday on the tug Pilot, and retaainei over  Thursday.  T. Nelson of Dramas aland has porebas-  ed a small steamboat for the aooemmoda*  tion of the public.  Judge Harrison held court here on Thursday. The business waa slim whkh speaks  well for the district.  FOR SALE.���������A thoroughbred Hol-  stein bull., Enquire of Byron Crawford, Comox.  Mrs. Horace Smith of Black Creek left  yesterday morning for Vancouver, for a visit, to her daughter for a few weeks.  Rev. Wm. Meikle, the evangelist did not  reach here as was expected last Wednesday.  It was quite a disappointment to many.  Don't forget to attend the FREE  Musical and Presentation Enter-  tainment at Cumberland Hall tonight.  Educate a boy and you get an intelligent  man.    Educate a girl and you get an intelll- ,  gent family.-!���������Indiana Journal of Education.  Mr. Geo. Stevens' of the   Water-Worka  Co., ia   superintending the   work   at   the  Courtenay House, Mr. Lewis's and Mr.  Cairns'.  . The Delineator for November maintaina  its usual standard of excellence. This is a  publication that few, ladies would wiah to do  without. ��������� '-  There was a fair attendance laat Tuesday  at the auction sale of Charles Bridges'. The  cows went off quickly, and seemed to be  about the only property, sought after.  Word comes from the north that John  Williams has located'a very -valuable claim.  Mr. Williams was an experienced miner and  was expected to do  something of the .kind.  FOUND.���������Three new .curtains were  found on the road to Courtenay about three  weeks ago, and have now been left at this  office awaiting a call from the owner, who  can have same upon paying for this notice.  Everybody that goes to Cumber*  land Hall to-night will be highly  entertained with Songs, Instrumen--  tal Music and Stories.  A. H. Peacey our popular young pharma  cist left on the Tepic Tuesday fpr Nanaimo,  where he will be married to-day (Saturday)  to Miss Powell of that city. Miss Powell  has late been with C. Stevenson 6 Co., as  book-keeper and is a most popular and.  accomplished young lady.  The Courtenay House, under the menage-  ment of A. H. McCallum, appears te be  prospering. It is now being fitted up with  modern improvements��������� pure mountain  water, hot and cold, and good drainage. A  watering trough f������ being provided for  horses, and acetyline gas is talked of for  light.  We have received a copy of the souvenir  edition of the Vancouver Daily Province,  with the compliments of the Toronto Type  Foundry Co., Ltd. It is descriptive and  illustrative of the Terminal City and is  artistically go^en up. One rises from its  perusal with a feeling that this "bright  young Queen of the West" is indeed, destined to a great future.  4 visit to the farm of Wm. Lewis this  week waa rewarded with the sight which  shows that enterprise is not lacking hi the  Comojc valley. Pure spring water is conveyed in pipes from the hills to the north about  40 chains. The height is such as to give a  pressure, providing power for the separator,  churns, etc. Water hj conveyed into the  sink and all rooms desired, and the overflow  conducted to a trough by the fence fqr the  use of do-nestic animafs. It is the intention fco connect the same syateni wi$h the  barn,  fis Local Paper.  ��������������������������� ^ >-  Have You Any Idea of What i% nss  Done for Yoj* P  And, as to What you .Wight Do in  Return, Have You Ever Given That  a Passing Thought ?���������An Editor'*  Interesting Beyiew of the Subject, n  The paper has done 50 things for you and  is only anxious to do 50 more.  Jt told  your   friends.when, your   parents were married-  It announced to   the   world  when   yon  were born.  It recorded the great events of your childr  hood, when you '.were Lost as a wandering  baby, when you had the measles and scarlet,  fevsr, when you fell into the washtub and  nearly drowned, when you fell from the  cherry tree and broke your collar bone,  when yon first started to school and when  you earned your first prize.  Later on it told you how you had completed the studies of the district school and  how eloquently you recited your graduating  oration.  It told of your entering high school or  academy. It told of your,contests in baseball and tennis. It told of your departure  for college er your first venture in business,  It told,of your various visits back to ; the  old home neighborhood, and it always wish*  "ed you well in your greatest undertakings.  It hinted modestly about the first time  you went a courting and gave timely warning to "her folks" that the neighbors knew  that matters -were growing interesting   pver  .their way.  It announced the time of your expected  wedding, and it published tbe notioe of, the  marriage license and gave you a nice puff  concerning the wedding ceremony.  It told of your extended honeymoon tour  and of your settliug down to housekeeping.  When you were sick,* the home paper  week by week informed your more distant  neighbors of your lapses and improvement*,  It told,about your lost cow and led to  her recovery., It told how your hor-ie had  beehgtoleu and led/to  the   arrest   of   the  thief.' ,.-  When you were getting dull and tired  through the monotony of your labor, the  paper, urged that the people get up a cele?  bration, and you were named as one - of a  suitable committee on arrangements. And  when it was all over, it gave you just  praise for the success of the undertaking.  In nu-nerouB ways the paper has helped  to put your name before the people. And  you would never have had your lucrative  office or your - honorable recognition trom  the community but for the kind aid of the  local paper.  If you are a member of a Sunday school  or society of any sort,, that same paper publishes your announcements and the varieus  proceedings of. your meetings.  Jt tells the people much which you would  like to have known, but which modesty or  necessity prevents you from telling.  If you and all your folks have been prosperous and fortunate in your affairs, the paper has boosted you all the way. If you  have have had misfortune, tha paper asked  for sympathy in your behalf.  Thus the paper has rejoiced when yeu rejoiced and wept whith you. If you are a  good and enterprising citizen, the paper  will always be your friend and will back  yon in your enterprises and will help to find  your business friends.  Jt tells you where to buy ������nd where to  sell.   It tells of rogues to be avoided.  It tells you of current prices and prevents  you from being cheated and swindled in  100 ways.  Finally, when you die, the paper will pub  lish your obituary and will cover up your  faults and will recite the story of your good  deeds.  All these things the local editor will  cause his paper to do, but no one else in. the  world will do them or can do them fpr you  even for love or money. The outside paper  is a stranger to your little world and is not  at all interested in its improvement. Yet  your local paper does all this free of cost to  you, if you are willing to receive it that  way. However, for your sake, we hope  you are too generous tp accept so many unr  requited favors and that you are willing to  reciprocate the same.  Help the editor.    Be his friend,   and   he  will prove his friendship to you.  Subscribe for his paper   and  pay   for   it  regularly fa advance and  get  your  neighr  bora tp do the seine,  Send km the news or oceassioually ������ war  trermeloa ar ��������� peek of peaches.  Invito him to your picnics and family din-  ners, so that he eta set a square meal oecasr  ionally.  Don't pall the ticket yon give Mm to  the  church eonoeri a deadheaiL   He can't buy  tickets from everybody to everything,   but  he will say kind words of jour .performances and thus lead, ethers tp buy your tickets.  If you have anything to buy or sell, let  the paper assist you to find custoiners. Advertising that really pays the printer benefits both advertisers and readers.  If you have any job printing te do, don't  take it to an outside oftoe, but give your  newspaper the first chance.  Give the editer ��������� pointer e������������wioneUy or  write h|m sensible short ertieles and don't  get mad if hs fails to see everything year  way. When M does say a good thing, tell  him so.  In short, resaember the golden rule and  don't forget the editer of your loeml peper.  ���������Richmond (led.) Enterprise.  Ball.  At Comox, on Thursday evening,   Nov,,  3rd, at K. of P. HalL there will be a denes,  refreshmehts will be' served--good  music  Adnjujsioe for lady and gentleman, 50 osnts  m������waw��������������� am    "   ��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� '  NOTICE.  Dr. Lawrence, treasurer of Flower,  Fruit, Vegetable and Pet Animal Show,  held at Cumberlend August 4th, having  returned from his trip east, is now ready  to pay all prizes awarded at said, exhibition, I  ���������     . . ( , c,  AH persons not calling for same within  the next 30 days from 'rthe date hereof  will be deemed to have donated the same  to the Society  M. WHITNEY  Oct. 4, 1898. Secretary.  .._ Society     Cards  Cumberland Lodge,   -  .   A F. ^A: Mf   B.C.rt  Union, B.C.  Lqdge meets   first   Friday in   each  month.  .Visiting brethren are cordially  invited to Attend,  R, Lawrence, Sec.  ���������TITMiYMYY^B^m  Hiram Loqge No 14 A,F .& A.M���������B.CK  Courtenay B. C.  Lodge meets on every Saturday on or  before the full of the moon,  Visiting Brothers   cordially requested  to attend.  R, S, McConnell,  Secretary.  Cumberland Encampment. *  No. 6,  I. O. O. F.,   Union.  Meets every alternate Wednesdays ol  each month at 8 o'clock p. m, Visiting  Brethren cordially invited to attend.  John Combe, Scribe.  I    O    0.   F.  Union Lodge, No, 11, meets een  Friday night at 8 o'clock. Visiting breth  ren cordially invited to attend.  F. A. Anley, R. S.  NOTICE  - Any person er persons destroying or  withholding the kegs and barrels of the  Union Brewery Company Ltd of Nanaimo, will be presecuted. A liberal reward  ���������will be paid for information leading to  conviction. ���������  .     ,     _   ,  W. E. Norrls, Sec'y  Gordon Murdqek,  Third St.       Unipn, B.C.  E(j,ACKSMJT n IN G  in all its branches,  and Wagons neat-   .  ly Repai red^ra^amsiBBBBa,  '��������������������������� J- " ���������������������������-��������� -   ..   ��������� i.^        _,_���������    i,.,- ... I       I M  Milk,  Eggs,  Vegetables.  Having secured the Hariigan ranch .  I am prepared, to deliver , aiiy  ' pure fresh milk, fresh eggs, and'  vegetables, in Union and Cumber*  Jand, A share of patronage is  solicited.  james re id.  mi. .       . 11  YARWOOD &   YOUNG,  BARRISTERS and SOLICITORS  Corner of Bastion and Commercial  Streets, Nanaimo, B. C.  Branch Office, Third Street and Dunsmuir  Avenue, B. C. !''  Will be in Union the 3rd Wednesday of  each month and remain ten days.  HARRISON P.  MILLARD,  Physician,   Surgeon   and   Accoucheur,  Offices: WiixarpBlock,,Cumbbrlaiw  COUKTJENAY HpUSK,  COURTEKAY.'.'   _   '  Hours of Consultation:  Cumberlanp, 10 ta  12 a. m. Tuesdays and Fridays.  Courtenay, 1. to 9        "  A. M, AND P. M.' '   *- ���������         -1  ��������� ��������� ��������� '���������'.,' ���������>  WANTED. ,  Industrious man of character to travel and.  appoint agents.    Salary and expenses paid:  BRADLEY-GARRETSON,   CO.,  Limited.  , Toronto. <���������  -   , AGENTS. , -  Book business is better than for years,  past; also have better and faster .stlling-  books. Agents clearing from $10' to $40,  weekly. "A few leaders are:������������������'Queen' Vic*.  tori a," "Life , of Mr. Gladstone," "My  Mother's' Bible , St������rieH," "Progressive  Speaker," "Klondike Gold Fields, * "Wo- *  man," "Glimpses of the unseen," "Break*  fast, Dinner and supper."   Books on time. -  BRADLEY-GABRETSON, COMPANY,  . ���������' '- Limited,  <     .<        .    TORONTO,  AGENTS.  The war with Spain is over. We have  the most complete history published. Our>  ' book contains about 700 pages, over 100 illustrations, and is so cheap it sells on sight.  Agents coining money with it the last few*  days.' Write quick for information.  BRADLEY-GARRETSON CO.,  Limited,  Toronto,  AGENTS.      ,  I am just starting the best thing for moan  ey.making  you have seen for many a day.  Your name and address will bring the gold*  en information  T. H. LINSCOTT, Toronto.  COMOX DIRECTORY.  H. O. LUCAS, Proprietor, COMOX  BAKERY, Comox, B. C.  COURTENAY  Directory.  COURTENAY HOUSE,   At H.   Kc*  Galium, Proprietor.  RIVERSIDE  HOTEL,   J. J.   Grant,  Proprietor.  GEORGE   B.    LEIGHTON,    Black  smith and Carriag-e Maker.  COME TO  The News Office  with    your  printing. Reasonable prices prevail  neralized Leather  *F  ^KWduck"���������Afcict tarmedso  that water "creeps" off it, pe-rspir-  atfon evaporate* tfcfough it, and  friction wears it slowly. Can te  boiled in hpt water wttho-u t in jury.  Made solely iot the $4.50 and $5������0  grades of the Goodyear Welted.  Slater Shoe  ��������� j  f  Vsl  A  ��������������� 1  ,i  1  1  i-'i  \:4  i  {  \:,'  .<J.  m  i|J  Simon Leiaer, Sp|e Ucal  Agent.  an  "'ii  !.'vJ  I  ran

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