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Michel Reporter Oct 23, 1909

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 ,
■35
»!■'    .
NEW MICHEL, BRITISH COLUMBIA, SATURDAY, OCT. 23, 1909.
no: T*
Smoker'sSundries
Just Received some special values in Pipes, including
'    ' '77,«  -I'ii.'i      ' . j  i   ''!i      i i-'  ' : '"•• .   i! ':''•
Meerschaum^, palabash, Peterson, B. B. B., etc., etc.
Pouches, Smoki.ng-Sets, Cigar and Cigarette Holders,
Smoke our Imported, Clear Havana Cigars
A '   ? t;7 U "-7      :i     i •,, ii ;; » *,;ij      ■     .
^EN^_5DY'S
DRUG AND BOOK STORE
H-     NEW 1VIIQHEL   '
Agent for Kodaks, Phonographs, Gramaphones, Fishing Tackle etc,
Imperial Bank of Canada
Head Office : TORONTO f    * '   '
: b'apitarAuthorized'jio'.QQOldOO
Capital Paid Up «5'l000,000.      :-:       EpkervePund S5,000,0Pp
SAVINGS |ANK DEPARTMENT'
Interest allowed on Deposits from Date of Dpposit
Drafts, Money Orders and Letters of Credit Issued, available in
 '■ !—!—;  Any part of the World   * ?>—'-■
Branches at MlpHal nnd Navy Michel.     T. B. BAKER, Manager
Tlje map who wears
20th| Century glomes
\.'%'i      . *     ■ 7 ...• ■    ii  ' -'■>■'       ,i.ii i, ' ,
is correctly, smartly and comfortably dressed,   The styles for
Fall are' smart-apd Snappy and^rices are reasonable.   Come
' in and look bvei* Our new     '"
$UITS and p^fiRCOAl^ for
Fall and Win*er 1909-10.
Smartest Hats     Latest"blocks and colorings
.   ,   f in town ■    ■   in all shades.•'- Natty shapes
Seasonable
Underwear
All weights in pure wool and fleece
1 goods.   Best mikes at' lowest prices
STANRIELD'S.
WATSON'S
PENMAN'S
Sweaters .and Sweater Coats
We are showing a wide range o| these seasonable garments
:   ufall colors and combinations
41 Me^ nmm Ud 41
High-class Batchers
New Michel
All meat fresh killed—-Prime Beef, Pork, 3nd Mutton
Dairy Butter!   Mild-cured Hams and Bacpn---Fish
' _v in Seasdii
The Store Where They Send What You* Order
2    Dfliveries   Daily     2
HOTEL   KOOTENAY
New Michel, B. C.
pougla* & Stedman        -      -      -
BATES $2.00 A SAT      '
Everything First-Class and Comfortable
j Nothing but white labor employed
'BUS MEETS All TRAINS
Proprietors
Goto JUNG'S KANDY KITCHEN
For all kinds of
Fruit, Candy, Cigars, Nuts and Icecream
INt-iW MICHEL
Latest Novelties in neckwear, belts,  shirts,   gloves   and
Everything in' Mens' Wearables
Thr Tritet^Wood 60, Ltd.
Michel
until you inspect our values. Clothing, hats, fur band.
caps; sweaters; working shirts, iStanfield's underwear;
gloves, mitts, "Pe'abody's'*' and "Iron Horse" overalls,
'^Traveller" and-"Artisan" boots & shoes!:     ,  •    ,■
' ' . ' t, **
It wjll pay you to examine our goods and get prices,
BOYD & MUIR, Gt. Northern Hotel Block, New Michel
Suits Cleaned and Pressed.
Reward Offered
We Offer you a Saving of
= 10 per cent. =====
On your Meat Bill, and the largest and choicest assortment
of Fresh, Cooked, Smoked and Cured meats in the Pas-.
Five special brands of Creamery and Dairy Butter
WATCH OUR CARS COME AND GO
P. Burns & Co. Ltd.
NEW MICHEL, B. C.
Livery, Dray and Transfer
Bus leavos 7.40 a. m., 1.40 p. m., and 6.40 p. m,
Returns on arrival of trains
GEO. FISHER, Proprietor
4 Point tq be .Cpnsjdereo1 -
Although the majority of the people in this country a-
gree that the system bf tariffs in' operation is most beneficial
to the Dominion as a whole, very few indeed appear to grasp
the fact that the sq,me principle can be applied to local as
well as national matters with equally beneficial results.   :
The custom tariffs cause thousands of articles to be. manufactured in this country which would Otherwise be made a-
broad and thousands pf dollars are thus kept this side of the
border to the benefit of Canada. Yet so sure as every dollar
spent in the Dominion benefits Canada, so sure does every
dohar spent in Mjche} benefit Michel, and just as positively
as the theory properly carried put is making this pountry a
great and prosperous land, so surely will that principle faith
fully carried out, make New Mjchel a fine, up-to-date town.
It may possibly be true that in spite pf postage, freight
etc., a dollar or two, can be saved by buying from a large
store in one of our great cities. It may also be truo that the
customer has the advantage of a far larger and more varied
stock to choose from, but on the othqr handj goods must be
purchased from an illustrated catalogue and that is apt" to
prove a disappointing transaction. Then again, although
goods are as a rule, willingly changed, the- said changing is
a wearisome and patience-trying proceeding.
As we have ajready adrnitted, the great stores hojd a
large and varied stock, yet no one wpuld bp more pleased
than your local man to show a wider and more plentiful selection if only you would give hjin a fair trjal. A man can't
build a palatial store and hp(d a fine up-to-date stock pn the
profit gained by matchjng ribbons or the disposal of an occasional babies conifprter, neither can he prosper on the credit
business of people who send their rpady cash a thousand
mijes away.
Thpre is no need to be afraid of making your local business man too prosperous, for just as soon as John Jones is
making a trifle more than a living, so soon will William
Robinson walk into the town, and, after a keen look round,
set up in opposition. Then thore is a race for novelties,
goods aro better displayed and prices come down. In a few
years there nro a dozen shops in place of one, and when the
town wants improving, thore nre a dozen pockets lo dip into,
for no one is more willing to pay out for the general welfare
than the storekeeper. Broad, well lit streets bring more
trade and handsome thorol'ares make a first-class town.
Increasing business brings increasing advertisements to
the local paper, too, enabling (lie editor to spare no expense
in getting the brightest articles and the most interesting
news.' The printer gets the fiiiestand most varied type and
the latest machinery, with the result that the town possesses
the very best advertisement it can possibly get— an increasingly bright, reliable and up-to-date local paper.
G-REAT NORTHERN HOTEL
NEW MICHEL
tf
everything
first-class'
m
Cuisine
Unsurpassed
Bar Stocked'
With   the  Finest
Attendance
Unexcelled;
McCOOL & MOORE, Proprietors
ii
I!
LUMBER    YARD    WHOLESALE  AND   RETAIL
All Kinds of Lumber, Mouldings, etc.—Fancy Windows,  Doore and
Verandah Poets in; Stockjind to Order.
Fernie Lumber Co., Ltd.   .-.  New Michel
Pure and
Pleasing!
Elk Valley Brewing Co., Limited
Manufactured from
Canadian Malt,
Bohemian Hops
and the npw Famous
Crystal Spring
SLICK MP
Get Your Hirsute Appendage Clipped and Your
Whjskers Pushed in at the Great Northern Tonsor-
ial Parlors—You're next.
P. M. Mac Land era, Prop
The Model Bakery
NOW OPEN!
Bread, Cakes, Pies, Buns, Etc.   Fresh Every^Dty
Driver will call for orders and deliver
The Model Bakery New Michel
17 17
Patronize Home Industry
Smoke Crow's Nest Special
and Miner's Favorite Cigars
Manufactured by the Crow's Nest Cigo, Factor*,', Fornio.
The Holds all through tho Pass handle tlu-so goods
and Union men should ask for Union Label Goods.
E. V. Holding Co.,
Builders and Contractors
Repairs and alterations promptly attended to.
Estimates cheerfully given '
New Michel
Send a Copy of the Illustrated Home,
Have you renewed your Subscription
j to The Reporter ? It's only $1.00 now. THE   REPORTER,   NEW   MICHEL,   BRITISH   COLUMBIA.
He'd Even Cheat the Goats That
Would Feed Over His Grave.
By LEO CRANE.
"*E was a null pnsHer, was Jones,
ae' 'e Biting a shovel on tbe blooinln'
tramp Koolnh until his moutb got bits
Inter serious trouble affairs by recklessly sllppln' lurid nami's toward the
chief engineer. O' eoiirse we men
knew 'e didn't mean niiytlitnk outei
the way by* the langwldge, but tbe
chief engineer was a wtdous man, an
'e allowed his turrlble onger to become
uncontrolled.
"So we men laid Jones away In tbe
free ward n' a leetle borspltnl tbat
balf bid Itself sbyllke behind a row o'
scraggy palms. Then we men went
off on a boot, eight o* us. Seven got
back to the ship in time to sail wltb
her. The eighth man 'e was left on
the wharf deserted amid a multichude
o' coolies.   HI was that man.
"An' being as HI wouldn't shift cargo fer a llvln' wage. HI presented me-
self, body an' soul, to a recrultln' officer who wus out after one devil called
Juan Torres. This same Juan Torres
was up country some'res hldln', an' 'e
didn't have no (dear o' beln' ketcbed;
hence It needed men, an' HI was a
man.
"Now, on the mornln' afore we
marched away who ln all the worP o'
rascals should beare in sight but
Jones. 'E had a rag about bis bead,
an' 'e wanted to 'list. Now, HI had
never expected to see Jones again ln
this worl' an', beln' pious Inclined,
didn't want to meet blm Id tbe next.
HI always watched my terbacker
wben 'e was about. Sam Huwllns had
tol' me o' tbat, an' Sain Rawlins bad
lost terbacker.
"Well, they needed men, an' Jones
was one. so 'e went along. '_ tol' me
that the doctors ut the leetle borspltal
had been very confident tbat 'e would
die, but in spite o* It 'e fooled 'em.
"Anyway, up country we goes after
Juan Torres, an' tbe lirst beastly town
we gets Inter down goes Jones witb
tbe fever. The doctor o' tbe regiment
said *e would die certain, but Jones
didn't. '_ scraped through; s'elp me
If 'e didn't Two weeks after 'e began
to creep about the camp mule kicks
him a reg'lur smasher in tbe side, an'
away to the leetle horspltal they carries him to meud up.
"HI didn't see Jones no more for near
a balf year; neither did HI see Juan
Torres. One day wbeu we thought we
had 'lm spotted ut last later camp
Jonea walks, smlllu' grimly: '_ goes
to tbe colonel an' says, 'Hill show ye
Just wbere they are,' says 'e. An' In
ten minutes out we marches, Jones
leadlu' the way.
"•How hnve ye been?' asks the colonel, legglti' It 'lougslde o' Jones.
"'Worry well," says Joues back to
him. pleasant-like. 'HI ain't been
outer the borspltal more 'n ten days.'
"'Guns!' cries the colonel. 'Did ll
take °em all that time to patch up
three broken rlhs'J'   ,
"'No,' explains Jones. 'They flxed
up tbem ribs in six weeks, but after
HI got illsi'liiirged from tbnt spell Hi
went Inter town -on u leetle smootcb
aroun*. ye know, an' some William
knifes me. lu fact, 'e knifed rae two
or three times afore V was satisfied
with bis contract, un' so tbey bustles
me back to tbe leetle hospital without any great loss o' time. That were
a four month Job, hut tbey did It, an'
nary a grumble. Oh. tbls gettln' well
Is my long suit,' siiys Jones, proud-
like. 'Wbat troubles me most,' says
Jones solemnly, "Is"that maybe wben
the blow comes agulu lll'll be too far
up country nn' ivmit reach the hospital ln time, but HI hopes not'
"'Why, yuu must like beln' sick.'
says the colonel, u'prlspd,
" 'It ain't the beln' sick,' says Jones:
that's nusty. Rut Ihe soup—my. tbe
soup! Delirious!' says Jones, emuckln'
his lips '8 if 'e could taste It. 'Hi've
been In forty-two horspltals In my
time an' have been discharged cured
nigh on to sixty-seven times, so UI
know.'
"'Sixty-seven times,' echoed the
colonel.
•"Itrtiirn wlstts,' explained Jones
quickly. 'But Ml don't despair o' bet-
terln' thnt record, 'cause HI knows my
vitality an' whnt HI can stnud.'
"On we men went silently. The reports '11 toll ye how we cornered them
rats ln tbe center o' a thick forest, but
the reports won't tell ye bow one Jones
carried lire nn' sword Into the habitation o' Jtinn Torres.
"It stood In a clearlu'. Jones beat us
to the inclosure by n good twenty feet,
an' Jones wns lirst to show his leg
over the top. Some native feller
punched n bayonet through the calf o'
It, but that native feller troubled nn
otber man. Jones fought like a demon,
an' we lost blm lu the smoke o' battle.
"Late In tbe day, when the struggle
bad ceased an' tlio smell o' rank powder was beglnnln' to sieve nway
tbrough the forest, we slnrtod to hunt
np our men. Wo found Jones lyln'
ncrost n pile o' severely used natives
over again a secluded portion o' tbe
■tockade. Tbere lie had cornered six
desperate men, un' the sight o' bis
handiwork was exceedin' fair to look
upon. We carried Jones tenderly away.
Tbe doc, 'e looked at him, an', saya
doc softly, ' 'e'a dead, poor fellow,' an'
there were tears In more eyes tban
one.
"But tbat nlgbt a man came racln'
Inter tbe colonel's but an' bawls out,
' 'E ain't dead!'
" 'Who ain't deadr yells tbe colonel.
" 'Jones!' cries the man. • 'E's come
to life again!'
"Down to tbe surgeon's but rushes
the colonel, alt excited an' piizaled.
Doc inceia blm nt tbe door an' cautions hlm to tie quiet.
" * 'E's kinder wild In bis head.' says
tbe doctor, 'un' be's mukin' all sorts o'
crazy requests.'
" 'What does 'e want?' asks the colonel.
"'.'E's mumblln' all the time a limit
goln' back to the leetle borspltal,' suys
the doc.
" • 'E's a hero,' cries the colonel, 'an'
°e shall go.'
*' *Wl|.v, man.' says the other. ' 'e's
got three bola wounds, shot twice
tbrough the body an' hns boon flouted
ucrost ihe bead. 'B can't possibly live
till mornln'.'
"Bui Joues beerd blm sny It. nn' be
calls out weakly, does Jones, 'It's a
lie,' says be. 'an' HI'm goln' back to
the leetle borspltal!'
"Well e don't die a bit. At the
end o' a week two natives shouldered
his lied un started for the coast. HI
an' live men went along to guard 'em.
r'lve imecs lu the rear more uatlvea
sullenly wrestled witb the heavy coffin.
Our orders wore to plant hlm decently
wherever 'e died, an' we determined to
do It. After we hnd marched a week
the towu came Inter sight. By that
time Jones was able to sit up an' take
notice, but when 'e snw tbe town an'
the leetle red roof o' tbe horspltal '•
started to wave such a frantic welcome with bis band tbat a hemorrhage resulted. We ordered the two
sullen natives to hustle to tbe frout
wltb tbelr burden.   But Jones rallied.
" "It's no use,' says he, grlttln' his
teeth. 'Ye con't bury me Id tbls worn-
out soil. If HI don't reach tbe leetle
borspltal throw me overboard inter
cleau water.' Ati' we promised. 'E
seemed to be slnklu' again, so we
tukes the shortest cut to the sea.
When we got in view o' the docks we
saw a vessel loadin' there. Jonea
peeked at It, then yelled an' set bolt
upright. 'It's tbe Koolah,' snys he.
"(Jet me aboard, men: get me aboard!
I'll be cured to onct If ye'll only heave
me up the gangway!'
" 'Wbafll cure ye?' HI queried.
"'Spite,' says Jones, mutterln' a
curse.
"So we did. The chief engineer
saw us comln' an' nearly bad a stroke.
But tbe fun o' all was to see tbem two
sullen natives. They had hustled an'
wrestled with thut coffin all tbe way
from up country, nn' they were all
fagged out Wltb a rich burst o' tropic
oaths they cast It out Inter tbe water
an' waved their maledictions at the
ring o' expaudln' ripples that marked
Its burial.
" 'Was that'for Jones?' asked a voice.
"HI looked up to see Sam Rawlins
stnriu' at him. HI nodded.
'"'It don't s'prlse me," 'e said slowly an' thoughtfully. *"E'd cheat anything *E*d cheat the goats that'd teed
over hut grave! HI guess HI'M go an'
lock up my terbacker,' says Sam Kaw-
lins.   An' he did it."
A Scriptural Explanation. '
Wben William Pengllly wus it sailor
boy, weather bound ou tbe coast of
Devonshire, be had his earliest geological experience, and 8. Raring-
Gould, the author of "Cornish Characters aod Strange Events," suys be was
wont to relate It as Is printed below:
I received ray Urst lesson Id geology
at Lyme Regis very soon after I bad
entered my teens. A laborer whom I
waa observing accidentally broke a
large stone of blue llus und thus disclosed a Hue ammonite—the drat fossil
1 had ever seen or heard of.
"What's tbut?" 1 exclaimed.
"If yon read your Bible you'd know
what 'tis," snid the workman, somewhat scornfully.
"1 have read my Bible. But what
has that to do wltb It?"
"In the Bible we're told there was
once a flood that covered all the world.
At thut time all tbe rocks were mud,
and tbe dlTcreiit things tbat were
drowned were burled lu It, and there's
a snake that wus burled Hint way.
There are lots of 'em and other things
besides In the rocks uud stones hereabouts."
"A snake! Rut Where's bis head?"
"You must read the Bible, I tell 'ee,
and then you'll bnd out wby 'tls some
of the suiikes ain't got no heads.
We're told there that the seed of the
woman shall bruise the serpent's head;
that's bow 'tis."
Tha Department of Stat*.
There Is un ancient tule of u treaty
between two (Jrcck slates by whicb
one wns to return to the other, as a
condition of pence, the half of Its captured navy. The Implementing of this
treaty wns accomplished with the sawing of each trireme In two. Whether
all tbo bows or all tbe sterns were
given hack does not come down to us
in history. Rome people probably
think tbls might be done today. But
diplomacy is as good aa the national
conscience.
Tho welfare of peoples rather than
the ambition of rulers is the basis of
the diplomacy of modern times.
Mediaeval trickery hns almost disappeared. Wbat Is wanted today la a
good case for one's country and an
able tunn to advocate It. it Is very
surprising, then, that there should linger as n heritage from the days gone
forever the superficial and conventional Idea tbnt diplomacy Is polite dishonesty. That the idea does linger In
the minds of persons unfamiliar wltb
the subject Is fully shown by the absurd use of the word "diplomatically"
as almost synonymous with "disingenuously" and tbe survival of all
sucb canting and misleading dogmas
as the remark thnt **n diplomat Is an
honest man sent tn lie abroad tot all'
country."-National .Magazine.
MEN OF MANY NAMES.
Oddities of the Baptismal- Font
Shown in Qreat Britain!
One cannot help sympathizing with
Lieut. Tollemache, who, after groaning for many years under the burden
of seven Christian names, containing no fewer than sixty letters, has
at last decided to jettison five of
them and to be known for the future
as plain "Leo de Orellana Tollo-
mache," a designation long enough
surely to satisfy any reasonable man.
And yet the gallant lieutenant was
an enviable person compared with
the other members of his many-
named family, nine of whom share
one hundred and three Christian
names, among them, ranging in
number from ten to seventeen, the
latter number being -the baptismal
dower of one of his sisters, who, if
ahe ever has time to sign her full
name, must write "Lyona Decima
Veronica Esyth Undine Cyssa Hylda
Rowena Viola Adela Thyra Ursula
Ysubel Blunclie Lelias Dysart Plan-
tagenet Tollemache."
That a multiplicity of names is
not the prerogative of. the higher
classes was proved a few years ago
when the infant boy of a Buckinghamshire fanner was presented at
the font yith twenty-six Christian
names, each beginning with a different letter ol the alphabet, from Abel
to Yariah and Zechariah, and when
, ft.iiii ittOoiui' iwUKKiU a iisi ui ttviji,-
ty-one names to the vicar of a church
near Tunbridge Wells as the dower of
his baby boy. Fortunately for the
child the father was induced to cut
down the allowance to halt a dozen'.
Even thus we can imagine that in future years that boy will look with
envy on the offspring of a Mr. Penny,
who labelled his children One Penny,
Two Penny, and so on, up to the full
sh^lings-wortb of pon**l<*s.
The absurdities of Christian names
are illustrated in a Sussex jury list of
the l'ith century, which may ne seen
in the British Museum. Among the
jurors of that time were Snfety-on-
High Snat, ot Uckfield; Kill-Sin Pem-
ble, of Westham: Fight-the-Good-
Fight-of-Faith White, Small-Hope
Biggs, Faint-Not Hirst, and Earth
Adams; although, after all, the names
are no more remarkable than those
given a few months ago to twin infants in the Midlands, "'ho will n>o
through life as Faith Hope Charity
Rogers and Pentateuch lingers.
Champion of Tariff Reform.
Whatever views one may hold in
regard to tariff reform, one cannot
help admiring the spirit in which
Mr. Austen Chamberlain is carrying
on the campaign instituted by his
father. They speak of him in the
Midlands as a "rare chip of the old
block," and the veteran statesman,
whom illness has compelled to retire
from the political arena, must indeed
feel proud of the son who has followed so creditably in his footsteps. Mr.
Austen Chamberlain was once asked
what qualities he considered contributed, most to the success of a politician "The powers of diplomacy and
flattery," he is said to have replied.
Apparently he studied the latter in his
early days. The story goes that on
one occasion, when his father had
had a large number of trees planted
in the grounds at Highbury, he gave
a luncheon in honor of the occasion.
Mr. Austen was late, and he knew
that if there is one unpardonable sin
in his father's eyes it is thnt of un-
punctuality He came in with an
apology, and when he added that he
had lost his way in "this new forest"
he was speedily forgiven.
Little Mary and the Pig.
The Marchioness of-Graham, who is
now receiving congratulations on the
birth of her second child, was, as
I.ady Mary Hamilton, one of the richest heiresses in Europe, for her father,
one of whose many titles was Duke
of Hamilton, left as much oJ'his land
and money as was legally possible to
his little daughter. Lady Marv's nn-
bringitig wns, however, very simple,
many of her childhood's days being
spent at Brodick Castle,.on the Isle
of Arran, which she entirely owns,
and her realization of her own great
power was long in coming. During
her father's lifetime, to train the little girl in the ways of economy and
charity, her mother ench year gave a
pig into her charge. The supervision
of the pig's rearing and the account
referring to its cost, were made the
duty of. the little Lady Mary, and
when the pig was sold at the end of
the year she gave the profits to her
poorer friends among the tennntry.
Immediately after her father's death,
hegeing letters of all kinds came to
her in shonls, much to her own mystification. "Isn't it queer, mother?"
she remarked after reading through
the first pile, "everybody seems to
have heard about my pig."
tt****************
ROSY-CHEEKED BABIES
Nothing in the world is such
a comfort and joy us a healthy,
rosy-cheeked, happy baby. But
the price of Baby's health is
constant vigilance on the part
of the mother. The ills of babyhood come suddenly and the
wise mother will always be in a
position to treaty them at once.
No other medicine can take the
place of Bnby's Own Tablets in
relieving and curing the ills of
babyhood nnd childhood, and
there is no other medicine as
safe. Mrs. Wm. Viggers, Per-
retton, Ont., says r—"My baby
was troubled with his stomach,
and was very cross while getting his teeth, and did not sleep
well at night. I gave him
Baby's Own Tablets with the
best results. He is now one
of the b<*st uatured babies one
could wish." Sold by medicine
dealers or by mail at 25 cents
a box from The Dr. Williams'
Medicine Co., Brockville, <Jnt.
******************
A Business Letter
Uncle (helping Harold to write to
athletic outfitters for an air-gun)—
And now how are you going to end up
—"Yours affectionately," eh?
Harold—No. I know better than
that; this is a business letter. I'm
going to say, "Yours to hand."
A WINDSOR LADY'S APPEAL
To All Women: I will send free,
with full instructions, my home treatment which positively cures Leucor-
rhoea,, Ulceration, Displacements,
Falling of the Womb, Painful or Irregular Periods, Uterine nnd Ovarian
Tumors or Growths, also Hot Flushes,
Nervousness, Melancholy, Pains in
the Head, Back or Bowels, Kidney
and Bladder Troubles, where caused
by weakness peculiar to our sex;
You can continue treatment at home
at a cost of only about 12 cents a
wpek. My book, "Woman's Own Medical Adviser," also sent free on request. Write to-day. Address, Mrs.
M. Summers, Box H. 77, Windsor,
Ont.
What He Found
"He went into the country to find
solitude."
"Did he find it?"
"No, quite the opposite; he sat
down on an ant-hill."
Regarded as one of the most potent
compounds ever introduced with
which to combat oil summer complaints and inflammation of the bowels, Dr. .1. D. Kcllogg's Dysentery
Cordial has won for itself a reputation that no other cordial for the purpose can aspire to. For young or old
suffering from these complaints it is
the best medicine that can be procured.
Matter of Business
Highbrow (boastfully)—I get twenty
cents a word for my stuff; I'm a word
painter.
Lowbrow (scornfully)—That's nothing. I get two dollars a word for
mine.  I'm a sign painter.
Practically all Canadian druggists
grocers and genaral dealers sell Wilson's Fly Pads. If your storekeeper
docs not, ask him why.
No Soothing Passage
Critic (ns the composer plays his
last piece)—Very fine.   But what is
that passage which makes the cold
chills run down the back?,
Composer—That is where the wanderer has the hotel bill brought to
him.
Only the uninformed endure the
agony of corns. The knowing ones
opnly Holloway's Corn Cure and get
relief. (
Blobbs—In France I understand
they ent horse meat.
Slobbs—Yes, but thoy generally begin the meal with a pony.—Philadelphia Record.
Two Hearts.
The teacher in a country school was
explaining to a class in physiology
the different organs and their functions in the human body.
She hud just explained how the
heart was divided into four chambers
and that the right and lett halve of
tbo heart were entirely distinct., 'inen
she asked Annie, aged thirteen, how
many hearts a person had.
"Two," answered Annie.
"How is thut?" asked the teacher.
"Weil, clout sonic people nave a
sweetheart?" answered the undaunted
girl.—Los Angela, Times,
Cnrterhall, Nfld.
Minard's Liniment Co., Limited.
j Dear Sirs,—While in the country
1 last summer I wns badly .bitten by
mosquitoes, so badly that I thought I
would be disfigured for a couple of
weeks. I was advised to try your
Liniment to allny the irritation, and
did so. The effect wns more than I
expected, n few applications completely curing the irritntion, nnd preventing the bites from becoming sore.
MINARD'S LINIMENT is also a good
article to keen off the mosquitoes.
Yours truly,
W.A.V.R.
,   Learned Competitor.
The Court of the Stationers' Company has awarded a pension of A'30
a year to Mr. Andrew Davidson, a
journeyman compositor, under the
terms of the will of William Bowyer,
made in July, 1777. Among the conditions laid down were that the pension must be given to a compositor
who is able to read and construe
Latin, able to read Greek fluently
with accents, and who is "a man of
good life and conversation."
Digested Jokes.
Tho Duae of Cumberland once said
to Sumuel Foote, the fearless satirist
and versatile actor: "Well, here I am,
ready as usual to swallow all your
good things." To which Foote replied: "Upon my soul, your Royal
Highness must have a most excellent
digestion, for I never hear thnt you
bring any up again,"—John Fyvie.
Many a tnnn's so-called moral courage is laziness, pure and simple.
. Revive the Jaded Condition.—When
energy flags and the cares of business
become irksome; when the whole system is out of sorts and there is general
depression, try Parmelee's Vegetable
Pills. They will regulate the action
of a deranged stomach and a disordered liver, and make you feel like tl new
man. No one need suffer a day from
debilitated digestion when so simple
and effective a pill can be got at any
drug store.
"Love is the wine of life," quoted
Wiseman.
"And marringe is the morning
nfter," added Simpleton.
Minard's Liniment for sale everywhere
Up-to-Date Lunatic
An angler was trying the water near
a lunatic asylum, when he espied a
strange object floating down the river.
As it neared him he saw, to his great
astonishment, that it was a man, nearly/submerged beneath the water.
"Hi," he shouted, "what are you doing there?" "Sh-s-sh!" came the reply; "don't   touch   me;   I'm a sub-
Had.All the Symptoms
When Bloggins, senior, on the occasion of his annual party was obliging
hia guests with """Tis Love That
Makes the World Go Hound," Master
William Bloggins seized the opportunity to retire for a few minutes behind
the Japanese screen with hia sire's
half-smoked cigar.
The applause subsiding, Master
Bloggins was observed by one of the
company to be looking far from well.
His face hnd taken on the hue of
putty nnd his eyes stood out like small
hatpegs.
"Good gracious, Willie I   What's the
mottor?" cried Mrs. Bloggins in ol-rm; i
"I believe you have been. Bmoking."
Willie shook his head.
" "Taint that," he declared untruthfully, "if it's true what   father   has
been Binning about I re-reckon I'm
in love I"
A country visitor to a big city contemplated with amazement the huge
sign displayed over the entrance to on
institute in a prominent thprough-
fare: "Stammering Institute. Trial
Lesson Fred." "Upon my soul," exclaimed tho rural traveller, "If that
don't boot nil! I knew they taught
most everything these days, but who
the dickens wants . to kam stam-
merinV"
"Hurrah!"
"What's the matter?"
"Here's n magazine with an article
in it obout something that the other
mnmzines hnven't any article about!"
—Cleveland Leader.
Lifebuoy Soap is delightfully refreshing for Bath or Toilet. For washing underclothing it is unequalled.
Cleanses ond purifies. tf
Editor—"Did you interview the leader of the suffragettes?"
Reporter—"! tried to, but she
wouldn't talk."
Editor—"Wouldn't talk? Good heavens, man, was she dead?"—Circle
Magazine.
Hope for the Chronic Dyspeptic—
Through lack of consideration of the
body's needs many persons allow disorders of the digestive apparatus to
endure until they become chronic,
filling days and nights with suffering.
To those a course of Parmelee's Vegetable Pills is recommended as a sure
and speedy way to regain health.
These pills are specially compounded
to combat dyspepsia and the many
ills that follow in its train, and they
are successful always.    I
Professor's English
How often we misuse words to the
extent of saying the contrary to what
we meon is pointed out in Ihe following anecdote:
A college professor who prided himself on correct English heard his wife
remark:
"I intend to coll Jane to bring a
fresh bucket of water."
"You doubtless mean a bucket of
fresh water," corrected the professor.
"I wish you would pay some attention
to your rhetoric; your mistakes are
curious."
A few moments later the professor
said:
"My dear, that picture would show
to better advantage if you were to
hang it over the clock."
"Ah!" she replied, quietly, "you
doubtless mean if I were to hang it
above the clocV. If I were to hang it
over the clock we could not tell the
time. I wish you would be more careful with your rhetoric, my dear; your
mistakes are curious."
And the professor all at once became very much interested in the
book he was reading.
■ Do you know tbe difference
between -working and having
tbe work done for you?
Sunlight Soap actually makes
tha dirt drop, out—saves you
time and money—but  Injures
neither hands nor
clothes. That
Is Just the
difference
between
Sunlight Soap
and ordinary
soaps.
"Why, the firm I represent," said
the travelling salesman, "can sell you
anything a civilized man or woman
can conceive of. There's no end to the
business branches in all parts of the
world, and as for our central office"—
"You employ a lot of people, I suppose?" x
"Employees! Why, at the first of
the year when we took a census of the
employees it was found that eight
bookkeepers and sixteen cashiers were
missing, and it was the first we knew
about it."
Health Demands
that the bowels be kept regular. Neglect means sickness.
Sluggish bowels are quickly
regulated by
Beecham's
PiUs
Sold Everywhere. In Boxes ag wedt*
VERMIN DEATH
Will exterminate Bed Bugs.
VERMIN   DEATH
cart" be rubbed on bed springs as it
will not rust iron.
VERMIN   DEATH ,
is antiseptic and will not discolor
varnished work if used as a cleanser.
VERMIN   DEATH
is a beautiful brown stain that can
be used on floors or other unpainted
woodwork.
Ask   your   store   keeper   or   write
Sales Manager.
Carbon Oil Works.
Limited,
.WINNIPEG,   CANADA.
Manufacturers   of  "COWL  BRAND"
Oil Specialties.
offer you more of
Better Toilet Tissue for the Same
Money than any
Other Make on the Market.
Made in Every Known   Form   and   Variety,
and Every Sheet Guaranteed   Chemically Pure.
Always Everywhere in Canada Ask For EDDY'S MATCHES
W. N. U., No. 760. THE   REPORTER.   NEW   MICHEL.   BRITISH   COLUMBIA
MRS. BESANT ES BACK
MAY
THEOSOPHIST      LEADER
VISIT CANADA.
—v- ■
Englishwoman Who Hat Been In the
Public Eye For I the Last Forty
Yean Is Now Lecturing In America—Home It In India, and She
Heads a Large Cult—Has- Always
Been a Fighter.
The arrival in America of Mrs. Annie Besant has aroused great interest
among her followers in Canada, and
she will no doubt be much in the
public eye during her stay here, owing to the pxtensive lecture tour she
has planned. A native of England,
but by choice a resident of Adyar,
India, Mrs. Besant has been at the
head of the Theosophical Society for
several years,'succeeding Col. Henry
3. Olcott in that position, and she is
PAUL JONES' PROMISE.
__ipSr<_3
.  -
KBMI^Uif^^'j
4J@Bfi&ttEjJGrSB
|f
HBS.  ANNIE BESANT.
now sixty-two years of age. Since
her twenties she has been fighting,
first to get a separation from her husband, Eev. Frank Besant, who resented her advanced ideas, 'brother of
"Walter Besant. the author; then by
the side of Charles Brsdlaugh; in
connection with the promulgation of
a pamphlet advocating the limitation
of poor families; then to hold Her
daughter, sought by her husband;
again in the ranks of a good many
kinds of radicalism, including socialism, and finally for theosophy.
Mrs. Besant is a little stouter than
she used to be, and her gray eyes are
clear and sharp, as they>hflve always
been, nnd her (face, strong lined and
masculine, indicates a masterful mind
behind it. Theosophy, or divine wis-
dom, numbers many thousand Americans adherents to its doctrines and
has numerous disciples in all quarters of the globe. The largest branch
is that of India.
"What is theosophy?" is a question
being nsked more often now than
formerly, and at the same time doctrines of the cult are more widely understood.
Reincarnation, the living of a succession of lives on this sphere until
perfection is reached and one graduates to a higher life, is the primary
belief that actuates the followers of
theosophy.
During her stay in America Mrs.
Besant will visit the principal cities,
lecturing to theosophists, and will
probably visit Canadian cities.
Another Link With Dickens Loit.
* The closing of the old Saracen's
Head Hotel in Snow Hill, London,
will soon remove another link with
Dickens. The old place has been
compelled to close by the pressure of
the new budget taxes. The Saracen's
Head was an important place in ita
day. Dickens immortalized it in
Nicholas Nickleby. He made Mr.
Wackford Squeers, of Dotheboys Hall,
in Yorkshire, stop there when he
went to London to interview the
young gentlemen who were to be "accurately educoted" at his academy.
Parts of the building are about 400
years old, and there are records showing that it has been used as a hotel
for at least thot period. Of course
it has been rebuilt a number of times,
and the structure now looks quite
modern.
In the moil coach days it was one
of the recognized stopping places.
The guests at the hotel used to collect on the bulconies which surrounded the old yard tp watch the coaches
arrive and depart. This yard has
long since disappeared, its site being covered with business buildings.
It is expected that the old'hotel building will either be torn down or converted into warehouses.
Brother of the King.
The Duke of Connaught, whose resignation from the post of Inspector-
General of the Mediterranean Forces
is announced, seems to possess the
happy knack of winning the esteem
of everyone with whom he comes into
contact. To a certain extent this is
due to his affableness. As a soldier
once put it, "There's no la-di-da foppery ubout the Dook. 'E'll stop and
talk to you in the street, and you can
talk to 'im pretty straight, as man to
man, without bein' ate up." The
duke, by the way, seems to have in;
herited something of Queen Victoria's
power of repartee. On the occasion
of a visit paid by him many yearB ago
to Dublin, a certain Mr. Henn insisted on being introduced to His Royal
Highness because, he said, his son
had sat next the prince when both
were .passing their examinations for
the army. "I was then," observed
the duke, "between two birds, for on
my other side was a Mr. Peacock,
and none of us was plucked."
A Bicycle Clock,
A Frenchman has made a clock
twelve feet high, entirely composed
of bicycles or their component parts.
The framework is a huge bicycle
wheel, and twelve ordinary-sized
wheels, fitted with pneumatic tires,
serve for the hours. The hands are
made ol steel tubing, which is used
lor the frumewoik ol bicycles. The
chimes are ordinary bicycle bells.
A MAORI HERUmt.
Our Great Naval Hero and tht Duoh-
tit of Chirtrts.   '
Tbe Duchess of Cbartres was an enthusiast In the cause of American liberty and a warm friend of Its great
naval  champion.   Paul  Jones,  whom i
she nicknamed tbe "Untitled Knight j
of tbe Sea.    The duchess was a royal I
princess and a very great lady, and \
Captain Jones was a sailor, self edu
cated and the son of a Scotch garden
er, but Id the exchange of gifts and
compliments wblch, according to the
custom of the day In France attended
their friendship, he was not to be outshone.
At a luncheon wblch she gave just
before be sailed from France In tbr
Hanger'on that famons cruise of his
wblch carried tbe war to tbe very
shore of Britain It was the good for
rune of Paul Jones to share In s conversation touching a French naval engagement In wblch tbe grandfather of
tbe duchess had borne a conspicuous
part and to defend and explain his
maneuvers on that occasion, showing
a knowledge of every ship and every
captain engaged mid winning on tbe
•pot tbe ardent personal adherence ot
Mine, de Cbartres.
At the close of the feast she presented blm a valuable watcb which hnd
been her grandfather's. Taken by surprise, the American captain nevertheless accepted It wltb a grace tbut
charmed the courtly company, promising that In return, if fortune favored
him, be would some day "lay an ting-
llsb frigate at her feet"
It was a daring boast, but in A. 0.
Buell's biography of Paul Jones It Is
related bow be kept It Within two
years occurred the marvelous victory
of tbe Booboninie Hlchurd over tbe
Serapls. concerning whlcb the victor
wrote tbe duchess a letter, ending.
"Tbe enemy surrendered at thirty five
minutes pant 10 p. in. by your watch,
wbleb I consult only to fix the moment
of victory."
That was a phrase to delight a society that reveled In pretty phrases,
and the duchess was amply satlsbed.
Wben Paul Jones reached Paris.she
gave a grand banquet ln his bonnr.
Just before It ended he reminded ber
of her gift and his promise. A servant
was sent to bis room and returned
wltb a long leather case, wblch the
duchess took amid the exclamations
and eager curiosity of the company.
"Tour royal highness perceives tbe
Impossibility of beeping my promise
In kind." explained tbe knight of the
sea, smiling. "Tbe English frigate
proved to be a forty-tour on two
decks, and she Is now at Lorlent with
French colors flying, 'ibe best 1 can
do toward keeping my word of two
years ago Is to place In your dainty
hands the sword of the bruve utficer
wbo commanded her. I bave the honor to surrender to the loveliest of women tbe sword surrendered to me by
one of Ihe bravest of men—tbe sword
of Captain the Hon. Richard Pearson
of bis Britannic majesty's late ship.
tbe Serapls."
Fooled.
Be was a doctor and was patiently
waiting for hla Urst patient.
Thought be: "If the mountain will
not come tu Mahomet, Mahomet must
go to the mountain. And us patients
will nut seek me out 1 must needs seek
tbem but" '
He strolled through tbe cheap mar
ket and presently saw a man buy six
nice cucumbers.
"Here's a chancer' said be and followed hlm borne.
Patiently be waited for. four long and
lonely hours, and about midnight the
front door quickly opened, and the man
dashed down tbe steps.
He seized him by the arm and cried
earnestly:
"Do you want a doctor?"
"No."', replied the man roughly.
"Want more cucumbers.'"—London Answers.
Tht Bride's Linen Room,
If s groom elect has not provided an
extra room to his bouse fnr storing his
bflde's linen be should build it In time
for In ■ these days whenever a girl
marries ber mother closes her lips
grimly, goes nfter pa's pocketlmok and
does Ibe rlgbt thing with nine dozen
towels, fifteen dozen napkins, eighty-
four puirs of sheets, etc. She doesn't
expect ber daughter to open n bnnrdlng
house, but she bus proper pride and In
tends to do Ihe rlgbt tblng by the girl
even It It breaks pa.—Atchison Ulobe.
Couldn't Forget It.
"Saturday night some miscreant lugged off a whole cord of my wood, and
somehow I can't forget about Itl" declared Silas.
"Have you tried to forget It?" Inquired bis friend.
"Yes. Sunday morning I went to
church hoping I could get It off my
mind, and before 1 bad been tbere five
minutes tbe choir started In singing
"J'be Lost Chord,' so I got out!"-
Judge,
Lunch and Luncheon.
"We don't bave dinner In tbe middle
of tbe day at our boarding bouse any
more."
"You bare lunch, I suppose?"
"No. luucbeon."
"Well, that's the same thing."
"Oh. no. It Isn't! Lunch Is a light
dinner, and luncheon Is a light lunch."
-Puck.
Curt For Lonesomentss.
The redheaded girl Is n wlnner-and
tbe man who gets one will not be lonesome. He will soon find out whether be
has drawn a Titian haired nngel or a
combination of a cyclone aud a sun.
set-Baltimore Suu.
The learned man conceals bis erudition, the silly man clothes himself with
It-Houssa-re.
Duiky Princtss Known at "the Grace
Darling of Ntw Zealand."
Huria Mstenga, a Maori woman,
who died recently, was known
throughout the islands of the South
Seas as "the Grace Darling of New
Zealand." Huria was a heroine and
when the fact of her death became
known not only her own people
among whom she was a princess, were
filled with sorrow, but the white folks
of New Zealand; as well.
Just a girl in her teens waa Huria
on that frightful day in 1863 when
she saw the brig Delaware being
driven to her doom on the rocks
near the Maori settlement of Wapa-
puaka. On the ship desperate efforts
were being made to weather the
storm, but the jib had blown away,
and one anchor had done, carrying
away its windlass. Tiie only hope
that remained was the other anchor.
Through the early hours of the morning it held, but the gale grew in violence, and soon after daybreak the
cable parted. She was lost now; but
if she could gain the beach the lives
of the men might be saved.
It was such a storm and such a
sea as no ship could live in—so one
of the crew told the story. Yet in
sheer despoir the mate, a powerful
swimmer, volunteered to try to reach
the shore with a line. With a rope
tied around him, he jumped from the
bulwarks. A few minutes of the
angry waves' buffeting left him
powerless; he was unable even to
grosp the life belt that was thrown
to him. The limp form was hauled
bnck and laid on deck. The crew
made such efforts as the lurching of
the ship would allow to restore him,
but with a groan he fell back and his
eyes closed. No one else dared to
repeat the attempt. They would get
a few moments of dear life by clinging to the wreck.
While seas were thundering over
one end of the ship and broken spars
were falling, the despairing sailors
saw three figures approaching along
the narrow strip of beach. Opposite
the wreck they stopped. In a few
moments the smallest of them, a
girl, plunged into the surf, battled
through the shore breakers, snd then
come on swimming. Now dashing
through the spray, now flung backward and buried beneath the foaming
rollers, she had to fight every inch
of the way. It was 100 fathoms to
the ship, and the girl could not make
it, but she reached a rock that was
within throw. A lead line was
thrown to her, but it fell short again
and egain.
She clung there till a strong throw
brought the line within her reach.
It was not until then that One of the
Maori men swam out to help her.
Between them they brought the line
ashore. That line saved the crew—
all but the unfortunate mate.
earTas fireman.
Clergyman   and   Hit  Daughter   Alto
Assitt at  Blaze.
The Earl  of  Meath, despite his 67
y. .     i .     .    u   ,  i.i extin
guishing n fire which broke out neor
his residence" at Ottershaw, near
Chertsey, recently. The earl was
walking in his garden when he saw
smoke issuing from one of the sheds
EARL OF MEATH.
at the nurseries of Messrs. Fletcher
Bros., opposite his house. He at once
ordered his men servants to turn out.
and then telephoned to the Children's
Homes neorby for some of the chemical fire extinguishers which are kept
there. The earl then seized a similar extinguisher which stood in liis
hall, ran to the burning shed, and
set to work, holding the appliance
until a servant relieved him of it.
Lord Menth afterwords took his plnce
in a chain of people formed to pass
buckets of woter to the fire. His
clothing was completely soaked. The
i amateur firemen, who were helped by
Rev. W. Beacheroft nnd his daughter,
got the fire under control.
 a, _
Whence the Whittle.
Seventy-five years ago the steam-
whistle, which is metaphorically
shrieking the ears off excursionists
on holiday bent, was unknown. In
those days engine-drivers were provided with a small tin horn, which
they blew as occasion demanded.
Apparently, however, they did not
always blow loud enough, for in 1883,
despite the warning blast, a train
ran down a farmer's curt, nnd utterly destroyed one thousand eggs, n
hundred pounds of butter, two horses,
the vehicle, and the driver. When
the bill for damages was presented
to the railway company the managing director sent for George Stephenson.
Stephenson pondered. Then he
visited a musical instrument maker,
with the result that he constructed a
horn which screeched most terribly
when blown uy steam. And successive generations huve toned that
horn down into the familiar whistle
of to-day.
Christened Hit Wife,
tady Saye and Sele died ut Hereford
the othei day in her 84th year. The
late Lord Saye and Sele was a canon
residentiary in Hereford Cathedral,
and had the remarkable experience of
christening the lady who afterwards
became his wife.
NOTED BY A TOURIST.
Some ef tht Queer Things That Wert
Qbttrvtd Anrotd.
About half one's time In traveling
•brood Is spent In buying stamps. No
matter bow many I put on a letter i
had no faltb to believe that tt would
reach America. I found tbat I could
tend a letter wltb oqe stamp on-It It I
paid enough, for It also that I could
get a denomination of whlcb It would
take twenty, in Cairo I put fifteen
sphinxes and pyramids on tbe front ot
a jetter and five on the back. As for
postal cards. Imagine asking for one
In tbe Belgian language-VVereidpost-
vereenlglngl
But II Is In a Mohammedan country
that an American mind needs read.
jUMtment. We woke one morning In
Constantinople and fnund our calendar
nine days ahead of theirs, our watcbes
seven hours behind and the name of
tbe month Kamadan. The Mohammedans seem in live up to tbelr religion In
a more definite tray than we do. and
we soon learned wbat to expect The
porter would drop one's trunk wben
tbe muezzin called to prayer. Tbe
sneredness of animal life compelled
us to walk nround the hundreds of
lazy dogs asleep on tbe sidewalk. We
were required to take off our shoes Instead of our hats wben entering a
mosque. Women were not allowed to
pray, because tbey "bave no souls."
Friday was tbe day for Sunday, and a
camera wns an "evil eye" and could
not be carried Into any sacred place.
Our artist was once charged *2U cents
extra for keeping at) evil eye ln bis
room all nlgbt
Before the Journey ends tbe tourist
has Inst his Identity completely. At
first be Is from "Kalamazoo, Mich.,"
then from "Michigan," later "tbe United States," soon the "States," and tbe
writer was once Introduced to a'gentleman from Tnaiiiny as "the lady
from North America." — Delineator
Magazine.
THE KINGFISHER.
A Bird Whose Wavt Art Mott Difficult
to Observe.
Perhaps tbere Is notblng Id nature
more dllViilt tn observe than the ways
ot the kingfisher. Any one may see
blm glancing down midstream or making his sudden arrow flight from bank
to bank under the bright June sunshine, but to track blm down to his secret fishing place and watcb blm at
work la a vastly more difficult tblng.
You come from tbe gold clad meadows Into tbe shady river path aa Into
a cathedral aisle. Tbe willows crowd
down to tbe water's edge. In tbe green
reeds a sedge bird Is tretting. There
Is s low twittering song ot nestlings
all round you. And nnw. Id tbe shadiest deep ot tbe willow wood, a shrill,
piping note cuts the silence, a flash of
emerald passes, a klugtlsber bas gone
by on his way to bis tnvnrlte pool.
A common notion Is that he sits per
fectly still on some branch overhanging the water, a picture ot crafty vigilance. But tbls Is rarely It ever the
case. The truth is, says a writer In
the London Chronicle, tbat tbe kingfisher, like the master be Is. sets about
bis work wltb au easy surety, almost
a nonchalance. Peering down upon
blm warily tbrough the screen ot
branches you would Judge that tbe last
thing In the world be was thinking
about was the-gilding brown water be-'
low blm. He twtrts round on his
perch, making bis vivid green and
turquoise and umber plumage scintillate like a dewdrop In the one beam of
sunlight tbat bns round bim out
He preens his teuthera, stretches a
lazy wlug now and again, looks about
blm wltb a casual eye. and then, as
It It were tbe merest trifling detail In
life, be suddenly points bis two Inch
long fishing spear ot a bill ot the water beneath him, plunges aud Is goon.
Tht Withering Wind.
Tbe name »t barinnttnn aas been
given a periodical wind wblch blows
from the Interior nf Africa toward tbe
Atlantic during tbe tbree months of
December. January and February. It
sets In wltb a fog or dry base, whlcb
sometimes conceals the sun for whole
wfeks together, livery plant, every
bit nf grass and leur In its course Is
withered ns though It hnd been seared
by heat from a furnace. Often within
an hour sfter It begins to blow green
grass Is dry enoucb to burn like paper
Even tbe hardened natives lose all of
the skin on exposed pints during tbe
prevalence of this withering wind.
Painful Allmtnt.
Though gout Is generally reckoned a
disense of rlcb men nud free livers,
one of the worst of sufferers from It
was a well known Kngllsb minister
wbo died not long ago.
A friend once snid to hlm, "Dr, So-
and-so, what is goul like?"
'J'be clergyman smiled sadly. "If
yon put your hand In n vise," be said,
"and let ii mini press as bard as be
can, that Is rheumatism, snd it he csn
lie got lo press s little harder, that Is
gout"
Why He Csfit Back.
"Wasn't you Here n few weeks ago?"
asked the woman of the bouse st tbe
back door.
"Yes'm." replied the wanderer, "but
I understood trom u pal that you've
got s new pastry cook since then!"—
Yonkers Htntesninn.
Tht 8urer Wty.
"How can we Interest her?"
"Tell her H's a worthy cause," suggested oue.
"Tell ber IPs getting to be a popular
fad," Interposed a wiser hi-sd.-l.oul*.
fills Courier-Journal.
One of the Inrklest things thst est
happen to s man Is not to count on bli
luctv-New York Press.
000 JOBS ON WARSHIPS.
Many   Wsye   For tht  Bluejackets tt
Make Extra Monty.
The possible methods of making extra money on shipboard sre manifold.
"Tallorlzlng" Is one of tbe must profitable. While a ship's tailor Is detailed
to most of our ships/ bis duties sre j
limited to mnking necessary alterations lo the uniforms which are Issued
to the members of the crew. Many
enlisted men own sewing machines,
upon wblch tbey do repair work, and
tbey also do odd Jobs tor officers, such
ss pressing and cleaning. A handy
man wltb Ibe needle ran also make a
handsome sum by doing fancy work
some of the most delicate embroidery
work has been done by sallormen.
The ship's barber also makes a comfortable living In addition to his regular pay. and the distribution or prizes
tt target practice enriches Ibe coffers
of the gun crew by a considerable
sum. Men who are detailed to duty
on board submarine boats are allowed
sn additional 15 a month nnd besides
tl a day for every day tbe boat Is
submerged. Bluejackets detailed as
slgnormen. as cockswains of power
boats or ln charge of holds are allowed extra pay. A crew messman re
calves $5 a month for performing tbnt
somewhat meulul function, and tbe
man wbo Is not ashamed to "take in
washing" can easily double his nnvy
pay. Every bluejacket *s expected tn
perform the laundering himself, bnt
there are always men who prefer to
pay for having the service dune.
One df the novel methods uf earning
an honest penny Is for a man with a
descriptive knock-usually a yeomnn-
to prepare an Interesting letter upon
tbe cruise ot tbe ship or some of the
strange ports visited, tbe honors paid
the vessel, the entertainments offered
and describing tbe customs of the Inhabitants. These letters are manifolded and sold to the members of the
crew for 50 cents to $1 a copy-aud
usually cheap at tbat The parents or
relatives of tbe sailor boy thus are
kept informed of bis adventures and
experiences and be Is relieved of a
task tbat Is Irksome to most boys.—
Jobn U. Cox In National Magazine.
IS A POPULAR CHOICE
.ENATOR DERBYSHIRE  HEAD
OF I.O.O.F.
STAR  GAZING.
Tht Study of tht Csntttllstlons it s
Paitimt.
Probably every render ban often ed
mired tbe beauty of a starlight night
A little careful observation on such a
night will show that tbe brlgbter -slurs
may be divided Into groups or "constellations," as, tbe astronomers call them,
most ot whlcb are known by the
names of animals or legendary persons, sucb for example as "the Ureal
Bear," "tne Swan," "Hercules," "Andromeda." etc. Tbe easiest method of
learning these "constellations" Is from
some, oue already acquainted wttb
tbem. bnt' If the beginner Is not fortunate enough to know any such person
tbe majority can be learned from any
cheap star maps sucb ss are sometimes
contained In almanacs.
Now, It tbe budding astronomer will
nonce tbe position of any of tbese
groups or constellations at n particular hour of any night and tben look n
few hours afterward he will see tbut
during ibe interval tbe stare whlcb up
peared low down In the east have risen
to Ihe souih In a somewhat similar
manner to the apparent motion of Ibe
sun and moon, wliile closer intention
on several evenings will sbow a circular or rotary movement around Ibe
north pole of Ihe hearens. Ihe motion
being ibe opposite way to tbe bauds or
s clot-It
Near I no-north pole Is ■ brlgbt star
called tbe "Pole star." This star Is
easily found wben tbe observer bns
once noied tbe seven brlgbt slurs or
the "lirent Hear," the two outer stars
of Ihe four tunning tbe "square"
known as the "pointers" point almost
directly to the Poie star. This majestic movement ot Ibe stars around the
pole of I tie heavens Is s must sublime
and wonderful nlgbt.—Country Hide.
Tht Shorttr Word.
The day before Christmas Edith,
aged ten, had n number of packages
tied up for distribution, 'J'be doctor
felt ot one lnteiiilwl for "tltiile Jobn"
-and the rest is us Uie New York Sun
prints It
"That's some tobacco," said tbe doctor, us be lingered the package.
"How can ynu lent" asked Udlth.
"Hecwise I uiii a good diagnostician,"
be replied.
Then, us Edith seemed somewhat
dazed at the nig word, tbe doctor inquired:
"Do you know what a diagnostician
Is?"
"Yes." she answered promptly, "lt'i
s good gnesser."
He Took tht Clkt.
"Mike," suld Plodding Pete, "dere's
wuss r'lngs (inn gold bricks."
"What's happened?"
"De inily up de mud ssld dat If I'd
chop mi iiriului ol wood she'd gimme
s cake."
"Hldo't she keep ber word?"
'"iep. sue handed me i cake of
soap."—Washington-Mar.
When It Sttrttd.
"Captain, wont time does tbe boat
start?"
"It starts, murium, wben I give the
word."
"Then Pre always bod the wrong
Idea. I thulium It started wben the
engineer pulled a lever or did something. Thank you ever so much."—
Chicago J rlbuiie.
Chtttt King of Canada Hat Long
Bttn Promlntnt In tht Odd FtV
lows snd It Promoted From Deputy Grand Mastership — Wss
Elected to tht Commons In H04,
But Gavt Up Seat to Graham.
At its 66th annual meeting the
Grand Lodge of the Independent
Order of Odd Fellows of Ontario,
which was held in Ottawa recently,
chose Senator D. Derbyshire to ba
its grand master for the coming year.
Senator Derbyshire has been prominent in the Odd Fellows for a long
time and lost year was deputy grand
The Btnytn Trtt.
A regiment ol until men could readily Hnd shelter under a tingle banyan
tree. In India Ihere Is one of these
trees which lias lt«i muln trunks anil
iivwHUuu smaller ones.
SENATOR DERBYSHIRE.
master. He is very popular in the
order and the honor conferred upon
him by the Grand Lodge is very satisfactory to the members. He is known
as "th- Cheese King of Canada."
For 20 years he was president ol the
Eastern Ontario Dairymen's Association and he has done more than any
other man to raise and maintain the
standard of Canadian-made cheese.
For years he was an active worker
in politics and a staunch supporter
of the Libertl party. In 1904 he was
elected to the House of Commons,
but later he resigned his seat to
open a constituency for Hon. G. P.
Graham, who was taken into the
Laurier Cabinet ss Minister of Railways and Canals. In 1907 Senator
Derbyshire was appointed to the Senate of Canada.
Not So Popular Thtn.
Lieut. Shackleton is the hero ol tha
hour, in geographical circles at least.
The audiences which crowd the lecture halls to hear him tell tbe story
of Mb Antarctic expedition prove
that. But he himself contrasts the
present crowds with hia audiences two
years ago. before he became the fashion. It wus in Scotland, and he advertised a lecture to be given in
Leith, telling ol his personal experiences in the Antarctic Circle with
Captain Scott andvCaptain Wilson.
He drove down from Edinburgh at
tho hour appointed, und found ona
half-drunken man, two old women,
and n hnlf-dozen boys assembled as
"the audience." In despair, he went
buck to his cabman und asked whether he would not like to come snd
in and hear the lecture. The man
wus grateful, but unuppreciative and
declined, declaring he was quite comfortable where he was—i.e., inside his
cub, wliile the horse dozed between
the shafts. Eventually twenty people turned up, und the lecture was
delivered. Shackleton had spent £7
on the hire of the hull and in advertising, and the receipts he calculated
would be 20s. "No," snid Mrs. Shackleton, "only a possible 18e„ for I sent
the cook and the housemaid to hear
you, and that is 2s. off, as they had
your cards, morked 'Free'."
Son Beheads Hit Fathtr,
During his service on the Indian
Frontier, Lieut.-Gen. Sir James Will-
cocks, who Is expected home on short
leave next month, has collected n
number of interesting anecdotes. Oue
of the best of those relates how some
years ugo, during a small campiign
against these marauding hillsmen, his
column was constantly annoyed by
the "sniping" of one individual who
slnlkcd them day by dny, relentlessly, and usually found a human tur-
gct. Eventually one of the newly-
joined tribal levees with tho column
volunteered to attempt to end tho
trouble by stalking the stalker. His
offer being gladly accepted, the min
set off on his dangerous errand. He-
fore mnny duys hud elapsed he returned with the head of the sniper
in his linnds nnd laid it at the feet
of Lieut.-Gen. Willcocks. When
usked how he had achieved his success, he answered, "I knew his ways,
snliib." "Why? Was he a friend of
yours?" nskral Willcocks. "No, sahib,
only my father!" wus the man's surprising rclort.
Westminster Museum.
A new feature of interest is to lie
opened in Westminster Abbey. This
will take the shape of n museum of
Westminster objects and will he situated in un hitherto generally unknown part of the nbbey buildings.
The condition of this section until
quite recently has precluded its
being open.
Architecturally the pnrt to bo
opened is of grent interest; for it
dates Irom the reign ol Edward tho
Confessor nnd is one of the most re-
murkuhlc examples ol prc-Normun
architecture, in England. Access is
gained lo these buildings by means
Of doors lending out of the eastern
side of the great cloisters. They consist of a long, low Norman vaulted
substructure, destitute of any orna-
nicntntion or decoration, but utilized
ns the basis for the subsequently
built dormitory of the Bcnedictino
monastery, now represented by the
chapter library ond the greut school-
room  ol   Westminster  school. THE   REPORTER,   NEW   MICHEL,   BRITISH   COLUMBIA.
Satan
Sanderson
By BALL1E ERMINIE RIVES.
Aatt_tr tf "flstits Cttngeous," Etc.
Copyright  UW,  the   Bobbs-MerriU
Company.
(Continued.)
Bit! little town bad been
uncousclously grnteful
for its new sensation.
Tbe return of Hugh
Stlres and bis apparent
curious transformation
was tbe prime subject of conversation.
For a half year tbe place had known
but one otber event as startling. That
was the finding some months before
of a dead body—tbnt of a comparative
stranger In tbe plnce— thrust beneath
a thicket on Smoky mountain, on the
very claim which now held Prendergast and his partner.
The "amen corner" of tbe Mountain
Valley House had discussed tbe pros
and cons exhaustively. There were
many wbo sneered at the loss of memory and took their cue from Devlin,
who, smarting from bis humiliation
and nursing venom, revamped suspicions wherever be showed bis battered
face, ln bis opinion Hugb Stlres was
"playing a slick game."
"Your view is colored by your prejudices, Devlin," sold Felder. "He's been
a blackleg In tbe past-granted. But
give the devil bis due. As for the
other ugly tale, there's no more evidence against bim thnn tbere Ib
against you or me.1"
"Tbey didn't find the body on my
ground," had been tbe other's surly
retort, "and I didn't clear out the day
before either."
The phenomenon, however, whether
credited or poohpoohed, was a drawing card. More than a few found occasion to climb the mountain by the
hillside trail tbat skirted tbe lonely
cabin. Tbese as likely as not saw
Prendergast lounging In the doorway
smoking, while the younger man
worked, leading a trench along tbe
brow of tbe hill to bring the water
from Its Intake, wblch Harry's quick
eye had seen was practicable.
The spectacle of Hugh Stlres, who
bad been used to psss his days ln the
saloons and bis nights In even less becoming resorts, turned practical miner
tidded a touch ot opera boutte to tbe
situation that to a degree modulated
tbe rigor of dispraise. It was the consensus of opinion that the new Hugh
8MM seemed vastly different from the
old; that If he were "playing a game"
It wns a curious one.
On tbe one side was a black record,
exemplified In Prendergast—clouded Infamy, a shuddering abhorrence of his
paat self as he saw It through the pitiless lens of public opinion; on the otber
was a grim constancy of purpose, a passionate wish to reconstruct the warped
structure of life of which he found
himself tbe tenant days of healthful,
peace Inspiring toll, a woman's face
that threaded his every thought As be
wielded bis pick in the trench or laboriously washed out the few glistening
grains that now were to mean his dally sustenance he turned often to gaze
np the slope where, set In Its foliage,
the glass roof of the sanitarium sparkled softly through the Indian haze.
Strange that the sight should mysteriously suggest the face that haunted
hlm!
Prendergast saw the abstracted regard as be came up tbe trail from the
town. He was In on ugly humor. Tbe
bsg of gold dust which be hod shown
to Harry he had not returned to tbe
hiding place In the wall, and with this
In hla pocket the faro table had that
day tempted him. The pouch was
empty now.
Harry's back was toward blm, and
the gold pan In which he hnd been
washing tbe gravel lay at his feet
Wltb a noiseless, mirthless laugh Prendergast stole Into tbe cabin and reached down from the shelf tbe bottle Into
which each day Harry had poured his
scanty findings. He weighed It In bis
hand—almost two ounces, a little less
thnn $20. He hastily took the empty
bag from his pocket
But Just then a shadow darkened the
doorway, and Harry entered He saw
tbe action and, striding forward, took
the bottle from the other's hand.
Prendergast turned on him, a sinister snarl under his affectation of surprise. "Can't you attend to your own
rat killing?" he growled. "I guess I've
got a right to what 1 need."
"Not to that" sold Harry quietly.
"We shall touch tbe bottom of the
flour-sack tomorrow. You expect to get
your meals here, I presume."
"I still look forward to that pleasure." answered Prendergast wltb an
evil sneer "Three meals a day and a
rotten roof over my bead. Wben I
think of the little 1 hnve done to deserve It, the hospitality overcomes me.
All I have done Is to keep you from
starving to death and out of quod at
the same time. 1 only taught you s
safe way to bent the gome, an easier
one thnn you seem to know, and to
live on Easy street."
"I am looking for no cosy way." responded Harry, "whatever you mean
by that. I expect to earn my living as
I'm earning It now It's on honest
method, at all events."
"You've grown all fired particular
since you lost your memory," retorted
Prendergast his eyes narrowing.
"You'll be turning dominie one of these
dnys rerlmps ynn expect to get the
town to tnke up with you nnd to make
love to the beauty in the green riding
habit that brought you here on ber
horse tbe night you were out of your
head."
Harry started. "What do you mean?"
lie asked thickly.
Prendergast's oily manner was gone
now Hla savage temper came uppermost
"1 forgot you didn't know ubout
that" be scoffed. "I made a neat story
of It In tbe town. (They've been gabbling about It ever since."
Harry caught bis breath. As through
a mist be saw again that green bablt
on the hotel balcony—tbat face tbnt
had haunted his waking consciousness.
It bad not been Prendergast alone,
then, wbo bad brought blm here. And
her act of charity hod been mnde, no
doubt a thing for the tittering of tbe
town, cheapened by chatter, coarsened
by Jokel
"1 wonder If she'd done It If she'd
known all I know," continued tbe other malevolently. "You'd better go up
to the sanitarium, Hugh, and give ber
a nice sweet kiss for It!"
A lust of rage rose ln Harry's throat
but he choked It down. Hla hand fell
like Iron on Prendergast's shoulder and turned
blm forcibly toward tbe open
door. His otber
band pointed, and
b1s suppressed
voice said: "This
cabin has grown
too small for us
both. The town
will suit you better." .
Prendergast
shrank before thei
wrath whitened
face, tbe dangerous sparkle In tbe
eyes. "You've got
through with me," he glowered, "and
you think you can go It alone." The
old suspicion leaped in tbe malicious
countenance. "Well, It won't pay you
to try It yet I know too mucbl Do
you understand? I know too inuchl"
Harry went out of tbe cabin. At tbe
door he turned. "If there Ib anything
you own here," be said, "take it with
you. You needn't be here wben I come
back."
His fingers shaking with the black
rage In his heart Prendergast gathered his few belongings, rolled tbem tn
the white borse skin whicb be drew
from beneath his bunk and wrapped
the whole In a blanket He fastened
tbe bundle ln a pack strap, slung tt
over bis shouider nnd left the cabin.
He settled his burden and went rapidly down the trail, turning over ln his
mind bis future schemes.
As It chanced, there was one wbo
taw his vinaictrve face. Jessie.
crouched on the Knob, had seen bin1
come and now depart, pack on back,
and guessed that the pair had parted
company." Her whole being flamed
with sympathy. She could see bis
malignant scowl plainly from where
she leaned, screened by tbe bushes.
It terrified her. What bad passed between them ln the cabin? She left
the Knob wondering.
All that evening she was 111 at ease.
At midnight sleepless, she was looking out from her bedroom window
across the phantom peopled shadows,
where on the face of the pale sky the
stars trembled like slow tears. Anxiety snd dread were ln ber heart; a
pale phantom of fear seemed lurking
In the shadows; the night was full of
dtead.
"The town wilt suit
pou better."
*__'        ''__'
■^        *fi
jS^ Chapter 18 ^j
N the day following the
explosion of Prendergast Harry woke restless and unrefresbed:
Fleeting sensations
mocked blm—a disturbing conviction
that the struggling memory In some
measure bad succeeded ln reasserting
itself ln tbe shadowy kingdom of sleep.
Wnklng, the apparitions were fled
sgaln Into tbelr obscurity, leaving only
the wraiths of recollection to startle
and disquiet A girl's face hovered
always before him—ruling his con-
selousness as I** had ruled his sleeping
thought
He took down from Its shelf the
bottle be had rescued from Prendergast's Intention and emptied It of Its
glistening groins—enough to replenish
bis depleted stock of provisions. He
paused o moment us he put on his hat
smiling whimsically, a little sadly.
He dreaded entering the town. But
there could I*! no remedy in concealment If he was to live and work
there, appear he must on tbe streets
sooner or later. Smoky Mountain
must continue to think of hlm as It
might. Wbat he was from tbat time
on was all tbat could count to him.
If be had but known It there was
good reason for hesitation today Early thnt morning an angry rumor had
disturbed tbe town.   The sluice of the
The leweler weighed the dust with a dis-
trust! ul Irown.
hydraulic company bad been robbed
attain. Some two mouths previously
tbere bnd occurred a Berles of depredations by which the company hnd
suffered The boxes were not swept
of tlieii golden harvest eucb llav. uuJ
In spite of all precautions coarse gold
bad disappeared mysteriously from
the riffles, this, although armed men
had watched oil night There had
been much guess work. The cabin on
the hillside was tbe neareBt habitation
—tbe company's flume disgorged Its
flood In tbe gulcb beneath it—aud suspicion bad eventually pointed Its way.
Tbe sudden ceasing of tbe robberies
wltb the disappearance of Hugb Stlres
had given focus to tbis suspicion.
Now, almost coincident with bis return, tbe thievery had recommenced.
It had been a red letter day for Devlin and bis ilk, who cnviled at tbe
'more charitable. Of all this, however,
the object of their "I told you bo"
was serenely Ignorant
Entering the town, there were few
stirring on tbe sunny streets, but he
could not but be aware that those he
met stopped to gaze after him. Some
Indeed followed. His flrst objective
point was a Jeweler's, where he could
turn blB gold dnst Into readier coin
for needful purchases. He saw a
sign next the Mountain Valley House
snd entered.
The Jeweler weighed the dust with
a distrustful frown, but Harry'B head
was turned away. He was reading a
freshly printed placard tacked on the
wall, an offer of reward for the detection of the sluice thief. He read It
through mechanically, for as be read
tbere came from the street outside a
sound tbat touched a muffled chord ln
his brain. It was the exhaust of a
motor car.
He thrust the money tbe goldsmith
grudgingly hsnded him Into bis pocket
and turned to the door. A long red
automobile bad stopped at the curb.
Two men whom It carried were Just
entering the hotel. Something in the
sight of tbe long, low "racer" reminded
Harry—of wbat? His eye traced Its
polished Hues, noting Its cunning mechanism, Its build for silent speed, with
the eager lighting of a connoisseur. He
took a step toward It oblivious to all
about him.
He did not note that men were gathering, that the nearest saloon was
emptying of Its occupants. Nor did he
see a girl on horseback, with a tiny
child before her on the saddle, who
reined up sharply opposite.
Tbe rider wss Jessica, the child an
ecstatic five-year-old sbe had picked up
on the fringe of the town to canter ln
with ber hands gripping the pommel of
the saddle. Sbe saw Harry's position
Instantly and guessed It perilous. What
did the men mean to do? She leaned
forward, a swift apprehension in her
face.
Harry came back suddenly to a realization of his surroundings. He looked
about blm, startled, his cheek darkening IM red, every muscle Instinctively
tightening. He saw danger In the lowering faces, and the old lust of daring
leaped up Instantly to grapple with the
rejuvenated character.
Devlin's voice came over the beads
of the crowd as, burly and shirt sleeved,
be strode across the street:
"Hand over the dust you've stolen
before you are tarred and feathered,
Hugh Stlres!"
Harry looked at him, surprised, his
mind Instantly recurring to the placard
he had seen. Here was a tangible accusation.
"1 have stolen nothing," he responded quietly.
"Where did he get what he Just sold
me?" The Jeweler's sour query rose
behind him from the doorway.
"We'll Und that out!" was the rough
rejoinder.
(To be Continued.)
BALL PLAYERS MUST^KNOW.
Stars of the Big Loaguee Ltsvt Little
to Guesswork.
Each man In a major league must
know not only the strength but tbe
weakness of every opponent and tbe
array of facts and Information concerning players tbat each pitcher con
muster up Ib amazing to the Inyman.
Late last season Boston presented a
new outfielder wbo, as far as 1 can
learn, never had played In a major
league before, and no oue of the Chicago club knew him or ever had seen
him play ball, yet all were perfectly
familiar with htm, his peculiarities,
batting habits aud disposition, Un the
way to the grounds Brown nud Until,
bach, one of whom was to pitch, went
minutely over that new man, analysing bis position at bat the way h»
swung at a ball, tbe kind of ball he
could bit and what he could not nnd
exactly how fast be could reach first
bnse. Stelnfeldt was warned tbat the
man was dangerous and a tricky hunter and tbat be always bunted toward
third. When the pitchers got tbrough
discussing tbe newcomer Kllng add
Cbance analyzed him as a base runner.
"1 think," Kllng remarked, "we can
catch that fellow a couple of times If
he gets on bases today. If he reaches
second I'll pull off tbut delayed throw.
Let Joe cover ond Johnny stall."
In tbe third inning of the game the
nnforiiinute youngster reached second
bnse on a hit and a sacrifice. Un tbe
first bnll pitched tu the next bntter be
raced up toward third. Kllng motioned ns If to throw, Tinker covered second base like a flash, uud Evers stood
still. The recruit at first made a Jump
toward second base; then, seeing Kllng
bnd not thrown, he slowed down. Tinker, walking back past him. remarked;
"We'd hare caught you that time, old
pal. If Kllng hnd thrown." For just
one fntnl trice the youngster turned
his fnce to retort to Tinker's remark,
and In tbnt instant Kllng threw; Evers met tbe ball at second base, jabbed
It against the runner and before he
knew what bad happened he wns out
That man really wns caught lu the
bus on tbe way to tbe bnll grounds,
for ihe piny wan executed exactly aa
Kline plmmcd-American Magazine,
A BODY BLOW.
Novelist's Experience With a Man
Whom He Ditmitttd.
A novelist wbo lives near Indianapolis once engaged an Individual who
claimed to be u gardener. That this
claim was without basis of fact was
soon mnde evident to the employer,
for the man proved well nigb useless
—so useless, in fact, that It became
necessary to discharge him.
The man took his dismissal witb
such jaunty indifference that the novelist wns somewhat nettled. "You seem
rather pleased tban otherwise," said
he In tbe man.
"Ob. 1 ain't n-worryln'l" was the
prompt response.
"Indeed! Perhaps you won't do so
well ns you think. May I venture to
lnquirp what you have ln view?"
"Well." answered the gardener, "if
the worst comes to the worst 1 may
tnke up wrltln' books. Sence I've been
here I've fouud out It don't take sech
an awfully bright man as I used to
think It dld!"-Llpplncott's Magazine.
A Needed Shower,
"Isn't that u lovely shower!" exclaimed Mrs. Randall to her friend ln
tbe parlor us they gazed out ou the
sudden downpour.
"Ves; we need It bo badly."
"Need It? I sbould say wc did! It's
a godsend! Why, our golden glows, hyacinths und roses out In tbe back yard
are shrinking for tbe want of rain!
The sprinkler can't take tbe place of
rain, you know."
"Indeed not."
"Ub. 1 tell you this Is just lovely!
See how It pours! And to think that
Just when everything threatens to dry
up and every one is pruylug for ralu
nature answers tbese appeals and
sends us beautiful— Good heavens!"
"Whut's the matter?"
"I've left the baby out In the yard!"
-Circle.
Rushing Them Off.
"What's Zeke Crossby doing rushing
down to the barn ln such nn excited
Btute for?" drawled Hiram Hardnpple.
"Why. Zeke beard that one of his
seven daughters is going to elope tonight with a summer boarder ln Zeke's
auto," whispered the hired man.
"Do tell! And I suppose Zeze Is running down to lock the machine up so
they can't get It?"
"Oh, no! Zeke's running down to
grease It up and put tbe motors In order so tt won't break down nnd break
up tbe elopement."—Chicago News.
One Only.
Margaret who lives in tbe city, went
tn the country to visit some cousins.
At breakfast the first morning tbere
was a dlsb of honey on the table, and
Margaret to show her cousins that she
was familiar witb country life carelessly remarked. "Ab, I see you keep a
bee!"—Llpplncott's Magazine.
Summer Travel.
Mrs. Goodhart—All the way from
Chicago! Didn't you find it very hot
traveling?
Dusty Trax—Not at all, madam. 1
always take a refrigerator car lu the
summer.—New York Life.
A Slave to Pleasure.
"What Induces you to spend all your
time In your touring car?"
"I'm economizing," answered Mr.
ChugglnB. "It's the ouly way I can
stop the wear and tear of Joy rides."—
Washington Star.
Prtoooiout Americans.
"Do you permit your little boy to
carry a knife like thut?"
"Hush! I'm gradually breaking hlm
of the habit Why, last year he carried a revolver!" — Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Quick Reply.
lack—Reginald was sorely In. nerd
of a summer suit, bo be Bent a distress message to his tailor "C. Q. D."
Bva-And did he get a reply?
Jack-Yes, C. U. D.-Houston Post
Music For tht Millions.
Millionaire's Daughter—Papa, here's
Lord Mustnlrt come to call, and he's
brought bis coronet wltb him.
Man of Millions (busy making a
few millions before dinneri-Tuke him
to the other end of the bouse. 1
haven't time to listen to bis confounded music Just now.
Startling Reversal of Form.
Nan—1 never saw Kit as plump as
she ln nowadays.
Fan-Plump! Huh! She used to
have a dimple In her chin. It's a mole
now.-Chlcngo Record-Herald.
Far at Ht Got
Helen—Why. be yawned tbree times
while I was talking to him!
Myrtle—Perhaps be wasn't ynwnlng.
He mny hnve been trying to sny sorat-
tblug. -.Modern Society.
PRIVATE HYGIENE.
What It Meant to tht Individual ant
to tht Race.
Private hygiene Is Important and
means a revolution ln our habits of
living. It means fresh nlr perpetually
flowing through our houses and more
of our lives spent outdoors. It means
common sense lu diet—the avoidance
of bolting food, from whlcb dyspepsia
springs, and tbe re-education of normal food instincts, tbe avoidance of
gluttony on the one side and body starvation- on the other, the avoidance of
alcohol, tbe most potent of tbe predisposing causes of tuberculosis, and
the avoidance of dirty. Infected milk
and meat. It means tbe "simple life,"
free from overexertion on the one
hand and Indolence on the other, the
habit of normal sleep and the emancipation from worry.
ln giving tbls prescription Dr. Tru-
deau once suld to me, "It Is as simple
as bathing lu the waters of Jordan,
and that is why people are so slow to
follow it."
But today people are following, and
following rapidly. When they see a
man who only a few yearB ago waB so
ill of tuberculosis tbut be could scarcely drag blmself out upon a porch uow
run twenty-five miles for pure love of
exercise, or when they see nine college
men Inside of balf a year double their
endurance through rational diet alone,
or wben they learn that ex-President
Roosevelt developed from a weak and
timid boy Into tbe personification of
strength and courage and that Comoro,
about to die at thirty-seven, abjured
all unhygienic habits and prolonged
his life to 103. tbey begin to realize
the practical value of personal ny-
glene.-Professor Irving Fisher In Century.
Artificial Coffee In Europe.
Horrible disclosures nre made of
methods In common use for the "man
ufucture of coffee." It seems that ol
factories for that purpose existing ln
France tbere are 10*1 which turn out
24,000 tons annually, wbile tbere are
568 sucb establishments ln Austria
Hungary, Including 412 for the manufacture of coffee from flgs, nnd ln
Germany nearly 15.000 bnnds are employed In the trade, aud the annual
output is 100.000 tons. It follows tbat
a large quantity of "coffee" which is
drunk has not an atom of tbe real berry ln It The list of substances out of
which It Is manufactured Is alurmtng-
cerealB soaked witb beer, brandy or
rum. chestnuts nnd horse chestnuts,
haricot beans and broad beans, carrots, dates and. finally, the hard roe of
cod. The annual output of what Is
charmingly called "fanciful coffee" foi
Europe Is estimated at over 257,000
tons.-Parls Cor. Dally Telegraph.
I  AN EARTHQUAKE MIRACLE.
j 	
Ont of Many Strange Storltt Told by
the Survivort at Meetina.
Many curious and improbable stories
were told In Messina after Its disaster,
according to Robert Illchens. who has
written- for the Century Mugozlne of"
his experiences and observations "After the Earthquake." One of the strangest of tbe stories ho heard he tells as -
follows:
"A woman after the shock was burled alone ln her room. The door was.
blocked by fallen masonry, There was
no means of Ingress or egress, and thereat of tbe house had fallen In ruins..
She was uninjured, but she was Imprisoned. In tbls room sbe remained1
for eight days. It wus a bedroom and l
contained no food. During the eight
days she gave birth < to twins. When
searchers, with picks and spades, dug:
down to where she- was they found her
and the twins strong and well, They
took tbem out aud questioned her am
to how she had managed to live—why
she bad1 not starved.
"'Every day a woman came nnd,1
brought me food,' she answered.
"Tbey pointed out that this was Impossible, as there was no means of getting Into or out of tbe room and ther
rest of the house bad fallen.
" '1 know,' Bhe Bald. 'Nevertheless It
Is true. 1 do not know how sbe came*
or went She never spoke to me or*
looked ut me. Sbe wns tbere each day.,
put food for me on the table and disappeared. I bad never seen her before"
and do not know Who she was.'
"They asked for some description of
the visitor, but could obtain no details.
"This woman was not raving. She-
was In good health, weil nourished and
had nursed the twins, wbo are thriving. She persists In her story.
"I told It to a Sicilian.
" 'It was the Madonna who brought
ber food.' he said. 'She often doe.
such things.'"
French Convicts' Gold Mint-
Convicts In French Gulann seem to
be in luck. Tbey nre reported to be
working a gold mine on tbelr own account. Their warders have apparently so far failed to discover wbere they
hnve successfully pegged their claim.
The convicts tn turn escape from the
settlement by twos or threes and remain hidden for a day or two. Tbey
theu return wltb their pockets full of
nuggets and have a great time. Others get away In their turn, but come
bnck eventually, also with gold. The
mine is thus kept regularly working
by shifts of convicts. The latter wben
they return to tbe settlement are regularly seutenced to a few days' Imprisonment for absence without leave, but
tbls Is a low price to pay for a share
ln n gold mine. Where the latter Is
tbe authorities have never yet been
able to discover.—London Telegraph.
A Tuttl Frutti Cordial.
Here Is a tuttl frutti cordial from
tbe recipe book of u woman who Is
never caught hy ber summer visitors
without u delicious, cooling drink. Sbe
takes three oranges and tbree lemons
and scrubs them cleuu, then cbops
tbem fine, nfter removing the seeds.
Sbe adds a pineapple, chopped, and
then n quart of some good berry In
season, cherries or strawberries being
especially good. Three bnnanns, cut
into slices or small dice, sbe adds to
the mixture, and three cupfuls of powdered sugar. Over tbe whole sbe lays
a grent piece of Ice. Sbe leaves this
for tbree hours, and when ready to
serve she adds two quarts of Ice water. A single bottle of seltzer or some
other effervescent water gives additional "go" to the mixture, which Is
voted delicious by all wbo try It—
Suburbanite.
Millions From Hunttrt.
A deer In the bush Is worth more
thnn n deer In hand, for the live deer
attracts the tourists and the sportsmen, who lenve money behind, money
found because It cost the state nothing. This Is borne out by Germany,
where 000.000 people yearly pay for
hunting In the forests. The returns
from hunting licenses nnd rentals
nmount to $32,500.0110 yearly for Ger-
mnny. Germany Is nbend of the
United States In thin respect. Only
one stale nppronrben Germany In revenues from hunting nnd tourists.
Maine's 250,000 tourists yearly leave
$25,000,000 behind tbem. Alabama
collects yearly $25,000 In hunters' fees.
-Outing. 	
Alfonso tnd tht Journalists.
There ure two French Journalists
who cannot say enough In praise of
King Alfonso of Spnlu. He had his
meals In the public dining room of
the hotel, nnd In walking across to his
table he noticed that his equerry exchanged salutations with two men In
a corner. "Who nre they?" he asked.
"They are Journalists, sire," was the
answer. "Journalists!" sold tho king
Instantly. "Good! Ask them to fnvor
me with their compnny at my tabkt."-
Luudoii M. A. i'.
A Three Legged Capital.
The ouly apology for the decision ol
the South African convention about
the capital la tbut any otber would'
have wrecked tbe scheme of union,.
But the fact that It wus an unavoidable sacrifice to local jealousies dues*
not make the arrangement desirable*
or even save It from ridicule Tbe legislative assembly or federal parliament
is to sit at Cape Town, while the executive—1. e., the government olllces-
are to be at Pretoria. As a crowning
absurdity the legal or supreme coiirl:
of appeal is to be at Bloeinfonteln
Thus tbe provincial pride, not untlnged
with cupidity, of the Cape Colony, tht
Orange Colony and the Transvaal bar-
eacb In Its turn been provided for
wltb the result thnt South Africa bat'
no capital, or, rather, bas three capitals.—Saturday Review.
From Gold to Copper.
Tbere Is no clearer example of the
mining of the new day than tbese
great copper camps set down ln tbe
heart of the old time gold country.
Gold mining meant fortunes to tbe
few. The argonauts came and gathered,
their millions and left the land almost
as wild and unconquered as the?
found It. Few permanent towns and}
cities mark their trail. But copper
enlists au army In Its service. It sets'
big buildings rocking with the ronr ot
machinery where the gold hunter
pitched his tent nnd builds Its railroads where he packed his mule trains..
Science steps down from a Pullman-
now wbere romance tramped wlttr
blanket roll and rifle and gold pan. and:
telephone and telegraph wires follow
the trails of the express riders.—Out
West       	
Woman's Courage.
"It Is not unusual," sold the nhierv-
ant man, "for women to die wltb the*
stoicism of Mrs. Farmer. Women nt
tbe hour of death have always had)
more strength snd calmness and power
of endurance than men. 1 don't know
wby. unless It is that they have more
religion nnd greater faith In the betterment of their condition In the hereafter. Tbe few women wbo have been
executed here In America have beeo
remarkable for their calmness, while It
Is a historical fact that during ibv
French revolution It was tbo womeir
who exhibited the greatest courage-
and strength of character upon tbe*
gulllotlne."-New York Press.
A Job For tht Armltt.
Camtlle Flammarlon has revived hfs>
old scheme of digging a geothernitr
well 200 meters in diameter to ascertain tbe Internal constitution of th*
enrth. The imaginative Flammnrlors
proposes to And an economic and almost Inexhaustible source of beat to-
verify the rate of caloric increase round out If the materials constituting;
the terrestrial globe are In a state of
fusion—ln a word, to do rationally and?
directly what has been done slightly
and a little by chance np to the present time In mines. To carry ont the-
work the standing armies of the world,
are to be called Into requisltlon.-Scl-
entiflc American.
"8 O S" Supplants "C Q D."
The first distress signal used when-
the wireless became popular on ships*-
was O Q D. It bns been changed to*
SOS. In the continental code It Is-
made with three dots, tbree short"
dashes and three dots, while In the*
Morse It Is three dots, dot, space andl
dot, three dots. Tbe new distress signal bas been adopted by the Berlin*
treaty and Is now official all over the,
Uoi'ld.—Kxcliuua*
msm THE   REPORTER.   NEW   MICHEL.   BRITISH   COLUMBIA.
MY LADYJAFFODIL,
How She Happened to Wear Her
-Yellow Gown That Night
By  VIRGINIA; BLAIR.
fCopy-rlght 1908, by Associated Literary
Prest.J
In Miss PrlscUla's garden there was
a clump of daffodils.
"1 am going to pick all of them,"
aaid Judy Perkins, who was Miss PrlscUla's piece.
"Please don't Judy," aaid Miss Prls-
clUa faintly.
"Why not?"
"Because." was Miss PrlscUla's woman's reason.
Jndy looked at her. Tell me." she
urged. "Yon are blushing, and yon
can't have any secrets from me. Aunt
Prto."
Miss Prlscllla beamed. It waa sucb
a new delight to be bossed by this
beautiful being wbo had come all f.be
way from Europe to the little country
Tillage to see for the first time her father's sister,
"Tell me,'" Judy repeated and drew
the little lady down beside ber on tne
garden bench.
Jndy listened Intently while Miss
Prlscllla stammered ont ber little romance. "So you and he always sst on
tbls bench by the daffodil bed, and
yon wore a little yellow dimity gown,
and he called yon 'My Lady Daffodil?"'
"Yes." Miss PrlscUla's voice was
dreamy. "And he used to quote some
verses tbat ended:
"And then my heart with pleasure fills
And dances with the daffodils."
"Why didn't you marry blm?" Jady
murmured.
"Tbere was a misunderstanding."
Miss Prlscllla said, "and be went
away, and 1 haven't beard from blm
since, and that was twenty years ago."
Jndy enveloped the shabby black
figure In a big bug. "Dear Aunt Prls,'
she said, "and you have been alone
and lonely all these years, while 1
have been having a good time."
"You couldn't know," Miss Prlscllla
said, "that after father and mother
died I Invested all of my money In a
mining scheme that failed."
"No; we didn't know." Judy said,
"and yon bave scrimped and saved and
gone without pretty things while I
bave simply squandered piles of tnou.
ey on gowns"
"Tbe one yon bave on Is a beauty,"
Miss Prlscllla said. "Yon look like a
rose,"
Judy laughed. The rose and tbe
daffodil." sbe sang. "We belong ln
your garden, Aunt Prts." ^
"Miss Prlscllla," said some one from
tbe other side of the fence, "may 1
have a rose from your garden?"
"I told ynu last nlgbt you couldn't
Bobble," Judy retorted.
"Don't quarrel," Miss Prlscllla expostulated. "Come up presently and
have luncb wltb me."
Ab sbe left them Judy stood looking
after the slender, old fashioned figure.
"Did sbe ever tell yon about tbe daffodils. Bubbler"
"No."
"He was ber lover and be went away
—and his name la Constantlus Mercer."
"Do yon know." Bobble said, "there's
a muu at the hotel named Mercer—C.
Mercer?"
Judy grasped bla bands across the
fence. "Bubble, boy," she said, "suppose It should be the same une—and
suppose he Is coming bsck bere to look
up Aunt Prls."
"Sbe must have changed swfully ln
tbat time," Bobble said. "She-she
isn't very pretty now, yon know,
Judy."
"She's beautiful." Judy said defiantly. "Her hatr Is lovely and her eyes"-
"Constautlus Is probably old and bald
and ugly-but ot course tbat doesn't
count"
"Well, one doesn't exactly look for
beauty In a man"—
"If oue did one mlgbt be disappointed," Judy murmured pointedly. Then
abe went on, "If It Is Conatuutlns he'll
probably be over this evening, Bobble."
"Wby."
"Because she said he always csme st
twilight, and-and lovers don't lorget
sucb things. Bobble."
"Don't they J" Bobble demanded with
•ome Interest "Will you remember
that I always came at high noon In
time for luncb, Judy.'"
"Aunt Prls," Judy snid a little later
when they were ut lunch, "I'm going
to get the dinner tonight and I want It
late. Bobble's coming aud I'm going
to pnt on style."
Bobble looked up ln amazement, bnt
Judy's eye wurned him. "*iou are to
come at TlHO," sbe said. "I want to
abow you what a line cook I am."
After Bobble left Miss Prlscllla protested. •
"Please." Judy began, "let me get the
dinner and-and I want to dress you
up and bave you play lady for once
ln your life. You are going to wear a
pretty gown tonight." Judy snid decidedly. "Come on upstairs and choose
one. Aunt Prls."
Once In Judy's room that enthusiastic maiden dnu>|>ed on tbe bed a dozen
gowus before sbe found tbe one she
sought
"Tbere." she snid st Inst as she took
down s fluttering fluffy thing of pslt
yellow chiffon. "Put thnt on snd see
buw you look. Aunt Prls."
"Ub, my dear." Miss Prlscllla protested. Bnt Jndy commanded, and noon
Miss Prlscllla was Incased In Ibe won
derful gown.
"Bnt your hair's wrong." Judy derided and pulled nut hnlrptns ana
curled and patted and puffed the tuiu.
t'jg brown locks into a wonderful coif
tin -topped wltb a iroki comb.
"Wij. It's Juit the way I used to
seat It" Miss Prlscllla said.
"And now yon are to take a book
and go down to tbe garden seat and
stay there until I call you to dinner."
A half bour later Bobble appeared
at tbe kitchen door.
"Judy," be said In an awed vote*,
"I didn't' know clothes could make
sucb a difference,"
"Wbnt?" asked Judy, abstracted.
She was deep ln the mysteries ot
mayonnaise.
"Miss Prlscllla Is down by tbe daffodil bed In" a yellow gown, aud sbe
looks like a girl with ber hair done
that way. And Constantlus Is headed
for tbe garden. He Is a good looking
old duffer, Judy."
"1 hope he haa piles of money," Judy
said,
"I'll run back and dress," Bobble
said. "But 1 wish you'd let me get
the Lady of tbe Roses If be gets My
Lady Daffodil, Judy."
"Go 'way," aaid Jndy, but her eye*
were kind.  .
There were golden shadows across
the grass as Bobbie went toward tbe
gate, and Miss Priadlla'a gown made
a spot of gold In the dusky comer
wbere the daffodils grew. And st tbe
gate' Bobble met Constantlus. but tht
man scarcely bowed. Hla eyes were
on tbst golden spot lo the dusky corner.
"My Lady Daffodil." he said softly.
Miss Prlscllla turned, started up, and
her eyes were like stars.
"Connie"— she gasped, and then Bob*
ble fled.
And when he crept back later be
found shades on the sliver candlesticks.
He produced a great bnncb of daffodils and Judy put tbem ln a silver
bowl In the center ot the table.
"Judy, this Is my old friend Con.
stantlus Mercer," said a happy voice.
Constantlus held Judy's band and
looked down at ber. "Prlscllla and 1
bave been wondering how you happened to make ber wear that yellow
gown today."
"A little bird told me you were at
the hotel."
"A little bird?"
"Bob-o-ltnk." said Bobble from tb*
otber side of the table.
"Ob," and Constantlus grasped tbe
other's hand. "1 told you 1 kuew Miss
Perkins?"
"Yes," said Bobble, "and I told Judy,
and thereby baugs tbe tale,"
But Constantlus was not listening—
hand ln band wltb Miss Prlscllla ba
was looking at tbe daffodils that nodded under the golden light
And Judy, watching the old lovers,
turned ber eyes presently on her young
lover and theu her blind went out to
blm and behind tbe backs ot the others be bent and kissed ber.
THE LONELY HUSBAND.
Willing, but Hilpltta.
"Sbsve." was all he said, and ba
snapped It out as If be wanted to ba
let alone during tbe operation.
"You oughter huve a hair cut sir.
Needs It badly," said tbe barber.
"No; I want a shave," said tbe man.
Everytblug was quiet for the next
few minutes, and tbe barber scraped
away. Tben, tbe bristles removed, the
barber ran his bands through his hair,
preparatory to combing It Tbat seemed
to remind him or something.
"Hair's getting thin. sir. Shall I pnt
on some follicular freshener?" he Inquired.
"Nor snapped the man.
The barber fussed about* some mnn
and then, "Try a facial massage-Just
what you need," be said.
"No; I only want tbe shave," said
the man flrmly.
This appeared to get past tbe barber,
for aa be waa flirting wltb the combs
and brushes and looking over tbe customer's cranial development .he remarked In a friendly and kindly tone.
Just as If the Idea bad tbat moment
occurred to him. "You oughter have
your hair cut sir."
The tired men's patience was all
goue now. "Hang It," be exclaimed,
"If yon ore so anxious to cut somebody's hair, wby dou't you cut your
own? It's four times as long aa
mine."
Sadly the barber looked at himself In
the glass His locks were best described by tbe i mid-Victorian terms
"ambrosial and nmbrugeous."
"if 1 could I wonld," he answered.—
New York Press.
Bit wife's away.
There is no doubt
Because he's searching .
In and out
To nnd these things
He needs the most:
fhe can opener, cork screw, salt and pepper shakers, carving Knife, milk tickets, frying pan and
The patent tblng
For making toast
Both day and night
We hear hlm ewear.
He's looked high, low
And everywhere,   '.
But still for tbese
He seeks ln vain:
His change of underwear, clean collars.
soc^s,   negligee   shirt,   extra   shue-
strings,  shaving mug,  bath towels,
pen and Ink, bird seed, hie derby bat,
rain coat and clothes bruah,
And then he wires,
"Come home again."
—Detroit Free Press,
A Family Likeness.
Cisste—Oh, Reggie, don't give It to
bim; give It to his fatherl-Couilc Cuts.
To Wat or Not to Wat.
"Dear me, now!" exclaimed tbe
nervous old lady with tbe seventeen
packages and the parrot, bound for
Cockle-on-the-Shell. "Wbnt did the
guard say was the next station"; Did
he sny Cockle-on-the-Shell?"
"Excuse me," remonstrated tbe girl
from Glrton. "You mean what Is tbs
next station. It's still a elation, you
know."
' "You're wrong, madam," Interposed/
an octogenarian. "What Is was, Isn't
It?"
"Is Is was?" ssked the Glrton girt
sharply,
"Don't be ridiculous!" snapped the
nervous old lady. "Wns may be Is.
But If wss wns Is, then Is Isn't It or
wns wnsn't wns." She passed her
band across her fevered brow. "If
was Is, was Is was. Isn't It?" sbe continued.   "But If Is Is wns. then"-
"Llsten!" Interposed a fifth. "Ia
Is, wns wss, wns was wns. Is Is Is."
""Oh. well, anyway," cried tbe old
lady, "Is the next ststlob my ststlon-
Cockle-on-the-Shell?"
"No, madam," r-'plled the octogenarian. "But It was. We bnve Jutt gona
by lt"-London Scraps.
A Candid Retrospect.
"Why are you In this prison, my
friend?" asked the philanthropist
"It was the result of my own folly."
"In what way wore yon fonllsb?"
"I didn't employ the right kind of
a Iswyer for my case."-Washington
Star.
Nerve.
He shambled Into the fashionable
lunch room and seated himself under
an artificial palm.
"Er-weil, me man?" snapped the
swell waiter, elevating his nose until
It was nn a line with the celling.
"How mucb Is your planked steak?'
"Three dollars and twenty - five
cents,"
The unwelcome caller looked as
though he had been hit with a baseball
bat
"Three dollars- and twenty-five cents
for a plauked steak V"
"Yes."
There was a painful pause, nnd then
the stranger fished deep down Into the
pocket of his trousers aud drew forth
a dime. "Here, boss, tnke dis. 1 only
want de plank."-Chlcngo News.
Tough on Sandy.
"Lady," began Sandy Pikes, as he
stopped nt the woyslde cottage, "two
weeks ago 1 passed here and you told
me to emulate the busy ant"
"Yes, my poor man." responded tbe
bousewlfe.   "And did you?"
"1 did. tnum, to me sorrow. When 1
passed a picnic In de grove 1 watched
de busy ant tackling de Ice cream and
cakes, and wben 1 tried It de men
licked me. de boys stoned mc and de
dogs chased me. No more imitating
de busy aut fer me, mum."—St Louis
Post-Dlspatcb.
Not Within Hit Jurisdiction.
A well known Judge Invited a barrister friend of his to, go for a short
trip on his yacht A storm came up
and the boat began to roll and toss In
a manner which the lawyer did not
relish.
The Judge laid a hand on his friend's
shoulder and said, "My dear fellow, is
there anything I can do to make you
comfortable?"
"Yes," was the grim reply. "Overrule tbls motion!"—Modern Society.
Pretence of Mind.
Mr. Phan (roaring from tbe top of
the stulrsi - Mildred! What Is that
young mnn doing down tbere so late?
Mildred (sweetlyi-He's Just doping
out bow the teams will finish for the
pennant.
Mr. Phan (molllfledi-Alt right Tell
him to take his time, not overlooking
past performances and the possibility
of a slump, and when he gets done he
can compare It with my ,' ' U'blnd the
clock on the bookcase.—Puck.
DIAMOND HEAD.
Uncle Sam's Great Volcano Fortress
In the Pacific Ocean.
Since England Instituted ber vast
and mysterious system of defenses In
the great rock of Gibraltar-the world
has witnessed no project of military
fortification so Important as tbat
which has been undertaken by the
United States In tbe island ot Oabu
of the Hawaiian group.
In the belief that the Pacific ocean
Is tn be tbe theater of tbe next great
International struggle for commercial
and territorial control, the American
government has entered upon a project
whicb Is destined to give It an Invincible base and outpost In inldocean at
Hawaii. Tu that end it has begun to
fortify wbat Is known as Diamond
bead, which Is a vast extinct volcano
ln Oahu. on whicb Honolulu Is built
snd wben tbe works are completed
the place will be Justly entitled to be
called "the Gibraltar of tbe Paclfle."
Situated as It Is at the lower extremity of tbe Island, wltb Its northern
slope forming part of the city of Honolulu, says Edward, P. Irwin ln the
World Today, Diamond bead commands the seaward approach from all
directions to the city, and the fire of
its guns, combined with the c/oss fire
of the Pearl harbor fortifications seven
miles away on the otber side of Honolulu, Is sufficient to render the town
safe from attack.
The crater Itself Is comparatively
shallow, being only a couple of hundred feet deep. But tbe wells are
steep and rugged, and It would be
practically Impossible for a ship at
sea to drop a shell Into tbe cavity.
Tbls Is being taken advantage of to
form a safe shelter for tbe gunners
who are to man the battery.
The guns themselves, eight 12-Inch
mortars of the newest and most powerful type, nre not located in the crater Itself, but are mounted on the
Leahl slope, toward Kalmttkl. behind
the mountain. Should there be occasion to use tbem In time of war tbe
gunners would not see the vessel at
which they were firing, but would direct their nlm according to the telephoned Instructions of the range Anders Btationed nt various points on the
circumference of the crater's rim.
Such Ib modern gunnery, a mutter of
mathematics rather than of accuracy
of vision. But to such n degree of perfection has the modern science of gunnery attained that tbe crews of tbe
Diamond bead battery would be able
to drop on to the deck of a battleship
miles distant and completely out of
their range of vision n projectile whlcb
would sink the vessel before ever It
hnd a chance to get close enough to
the Island to use Its owu less powerful
guns.
Through the thick rock walls of the
volcano's crater grimy workmen, under tbe direction nf United States military engineers, are driving a tunnel.
This Is to form a passageway to and
from the batteries for the officers and
range Anders and, should occasion
ever arise, for the crews of the mortar battery.
The sides of the volcano nre very
steep and cannot he scaled except In
a few places where narrow paths lead
up the precipitous heights. A few
riflemen and machine guns could easily defend tbese passes against a force
many times their number.
About the only wuy the volcanic
fortress could he captured would be
by starving tbe defenders out. Wnter
would be the most difficult thing for a
defending force to obtain, but It will
be no Insuperable task to provide a
plentiful supply.
When tbls Is finished Hawaii will
have the most novel and at tbe same
time one of the strongest fortresses ln
the world—a fortified volcano.
TWO OF THEM.
Seeking an Estrangement
"How can you reconcile your previous statements  with yonr present
opinions?"
"1 don't wnnt to reconcile 'em," on-
Bwered Senator Sorghum. "My desire
Is to keep them bo far apart that tbey
can be considered as strangers."-
Wushlngton Star.
A Simple Trick.
Here is a magician with a new trick.
He takes a duck from under a man's
coat collar. Now, don't sny that you
have seen that done a hundred times.
It was a rabbit that you bow tuken
from under a man's coat collar. This
Is a duck. It was time for a variation
to be introduced In tbe rabbit trick. II
be Introduced |n the rabbit trick, it
Is Just as easy to do It with a duck as
wltb a rabbit and n little funnier, because the duck can kick ns bard as
the rabbit and can also quack, which
no rabbit can do. no matter how woll
trained It Is. Tbe explanation of the
trick Is simple. The magician simply
does It so quickly thnt you cannot see
how he does It Nothing easier. Any
one wbo doubts It can get a duck nnd
try It—St Louis Post-Dispatch,
Tsbbed and Filtd.
Mrs. Crawford—You muBt love your
husband very denrly If you save all
the letters be sends you while you're
lu the country.
Mrs. Crnbsbnw—Pin keeping them
for comparison, tny denr. I'm sure to
catch blm In a lie.—Judge.
No Uie of Stopping.
Nervous friend—I—I almost fancy
you've run Into some one. Hadn't you
better stop?
Experienced Driver-What for? Tin;
car's running beautifully. 1 con tell
In a minute If anything's damnged.-
ByBtandcr.
Against All Trsdition.
"That wealthy old fellow Is a queer
chop."
"How so?"
"Never claims he was happier when
he was poor. Always says he's happier
now,"—Kansas City Journal.
Uted to the Pltoe.
Mrs. Hoylc-The force of habit Is a
great tblng.
Mrs. Doyle- That's so. Hy husband
bas got Into the habit of going to
church, and he can't sleep anywhere
else-New York Herald.
Dear and Cheap Meat.
According to Health Commissioner
Ritchie of Boston, if meat "caters are
looking fnr nutriment only they might
Just ns well buy tbe cheaper cuts as
the more expensive ones. "The value
of different foodstuffs." says Mr. Ritchie. "Is largely a question of amount
of heat units they contain. According
to good authorities, one-balf the
weight of beef, the most nutritive
kind of meat, is water. About 10 per
cent is waste. The remainder Is fats
nnd prntelds. There Is no difference
between the nutritive values of tho
better or cheaper grades of beef. The
amount of fats nnd prntelds contained
ln eacb Is about the same."
A Constitutional Monarch.
Recipe for making n constitutional
monarch: Take a few thousand
troops, a good general and ten or
eleven machine gnus. Turn the latter
rapidly until a white flag appears out
of the palace window. Sprinkle over
tbe quivering ruler n few threats of
what will happen to hlm If be Isn't
good. Then, when you lake him out.
the chances arc thnt you will find a
nice, tender, constiliitlnnnl monarch
fit to grace any table-Syracuse Her
aid.
rm fond of Kitty and. her cat
Sbe truly Is a pearl—
I mean tht kitten, but at that
1 also mean tht girt
Bhe is so shiny, sleek and fat—
Tbe eat 1 mean—1 love
To stroke her fur the while we chat—
Tbe girl I'm speaking of.     . .
I chat with one and with my haul
Tbe other softly pat   >
I trust that you can understand
What 1 am driving at
She doesn't like to have me stroke
Her back—I mean the girl-
No, darn it; cat!  Well, that's a Joke,
My head la In a whirl.
I mean tbat Kitty doesn't cart
To have mo pet ber kitten,
For when I'm with my Kitty therewith her I'm sorely smitten—
1 lean so close to pat her bead—
The cat's—and talk to her-
X mean the girl—her cheeks grow red,
And she wUl loudly pur.
It Is the cat that purs, you tee.
1 wish 1 could be clearer."
Now, Kitty's bashful aa can Do.
And 1 keep edging nearer.
But when ahe Jumps upon my knee—
Of course 1 moan the kitten—
And Kitty runt away from me
I'm stung, not scratched nor bitten.
—Chicago News.
Htr Qtt-up.
"What's the difference between visior
and Bight?"
"See that girl?"
"Yes."
"Well, she's a vision, but ber general get-up's a sight"
Opposed to Slang.
Donald bnd been to Sunday school
and on coming bome was asked what
he had learned. The lesson wss tbe
story of Joseph, and the small learner
was evidently full of bis subject
"Oh," he said, "It was about a boy,
and his brothers took blm and put him
ln a hole In the ground, and then they'
killed another boy and took the first
boy's coat and dipped It ln tbe blood
of this boy, und"-
"Ob, no, Donald, not another boy!"
his sister Interrupted, horrified. But
Donald stood bis ground.
"It was, too," he Insisted. Then he
added. "The teacher said 'kid.' bnt I
don't use words like that"—Woman's
Home Companion,
Too Sympathttio.
"Women aren't nearly as symps-
thetlc as they nre cracked up to be."
aaid the hardened old sinner. "When
1 tell my wife I want to go sit up with
a sick friend she always objects."
"Mine doesn't" replied the gay young
man gloomily. "She always wants to
come along too."-Mlnneapolls Journal 	
;  What to Push.
"Any one." remnrked tbe old gentleman, "can build up a fortune If be bas
plenty of push."
"Tbat depends upon tbe way the
push is applied," rejoined the wise
youth. 'There Isn't murh money ln
pushing a goenrt or a lawn mower."-
St Louis Republic.
Thtlr   Ancattry   Dattt   Back   to   tht
Building of tht Great Wall.
Pygmy uumun beings who live like
animals and seem lower ln tbe scale
thau African baboons were discovered
In the mountain solitudes of northern
China by Dr. W. E. Geil, an American
explorer and writer, wbo has Just returned to tbls country. Tbe discovery
was made In the course of a caravan
Journey along the entire extent of tbu
great wall of China. 1.800 miles, and
It confirmed the legend tbat far ln the
Interior dwelt a race of balry dwarfs,
tbe kind of beings described by Marco
Polo and Baron Munchausen with
damage to their reputations for veracity. But the dwarfs exist, and ancient
Inscriptions on tbe Great wall, deciphered for Dr. Geil by Chinese scholars, profesB to explain their origin.
Back in 210 B. G. tbe Emperor Chin
decided tbat his country needed protection from tbe fierce Tartar tribes
on tbe west and north, and he ordered
the building of a horseshoe shaped
barrier thousands of miles In length
to Inclose the empire from sea to sen,
A work more monumental tban the
erection of all the Egyptian pyramids
and temples was begun. Millions of
Chinese tolled at the Great wall, cutting and laying granite blocks for the
flrst courses and making brick for the
superstructure. The towers were built
flrst, and tbey served as military
blockhouses while tbe connecting
walls were put up.
Kept at their Job by strict compulsion,, tbe millions of'laborers were Inspired by the fear of an unusual penalty for error or rebellion. Tbe workman who Made a mistake or listened
to agitators was promptly Incorporated
ln the wall as so much building mate,
riel. Burying alive proved to be good
discipline wltb a majority of the laborers, obviating strikes and discontent but Bome.of them ran away to
tbe remote forests on the Tibetan border. They took their wives and children with tbem. So affected were they
by their terrible experience tbat some
of them went crazy, and the rest bad
such a hard fight for existence that
tbey deteriorated physically, transmit
ting dwarfisbness to their present dny
descendants. The Chinese legend to
this effect may not be entirely astray,
since It Is likely that deserters from
tbe army of labor fled to the forests
und thnt the hardships of a wild. Isolated life should hare bad effect on
them after many generations. The
dwarfs have long nails, terrible faces
and resemble apes. Dr. Geil believes
that the Great wall has uever been
entirely explored In modern times previous to his expedition Inst year, fit
found a stretch of 200 miles that had
not been mapped. At places the great
wall climbed to a height of two mll°s
above sea level. There were evidences
of monumental barriers antedating
Emperor Chin's celebrated Inclosure.-
New York Tribune.
Thtlr Training.
"I should tblnk baseball men would
be particularly useful In the army ln
actual warfare."
"Wby especially baseball men?"
"Because tbey  would  know better
than others how to fight a pitched battle."—Boston Transcript
Podgers' Ailment.
"What's the matter wltb Podgers? I
met blm limping along and holding bis
Jaw."
"Got the foot and mouth disease."
"Heavens!   You don't say so!"
"Yes. CornB and toothache."—Browning's Magazine
Architecture.
"A mnn whn Is the architect of Ms
own fortune should get a great deal of
comfort out of life"
"But he doesn't, ns a rule," answered
Miss Cayenne. "He's too busy building addltlons."-Wasblngton Star.
The Courageous Charaettr.
"So Wiggins bus written a blstorlcn
novel?"
"Yes." nnswered Miss Cayenne.
"Who Is the hero of the book?"
"The man who has undertaken to
publish It"—Houston Post
A Decent Proposition.
Burglnr-Ilold up your hands!
Victim-All right old mnn. bnt for
heaven's sake don't ask me to hold up
botb feet nt the same time. If there's
anything I bate It's being made a monkey of.-Boston Globe.
Hypocrisy.
Dr. Cook—Brlggs, what Is a hypocrite
Brlggs. '12—A hypocrite In a stude
who comes to freshman English class
with n smile on bis face-Wisconsin
3plilnx-     	
Parched.
Stronger In Their Midst - Fishing
any good here?
Nntlvc-Now; town went dry last
•lection.—Puck.
Dtinty Cooking of Franco.
"In Paris I am sure one gets the
daintiest and most palatable food In
tbe world, but I never enjoyed any
good entlng there tbnt wns not very
expensive," said a banker wbo has
been abroad.
"At any of the very superior and
noted restaurants of the French capital the tariff Is as high as In New
York's best establishments or even
higher. One thing I always klckeu
about, but ln vain, over tbere was the
Item 'couvlere' always Included ln
your bill. It meant tbe charge for tbe
dishes, linen and perhaps tbe dish of
olives and Is a franc, or 20 cents, fot
ench person. That Is a petty graft
not yet ndopted In this country. But
don't worry; It will come in time, fot
we bnve Imitated old would practices
so rapidly ln otber ways of doing tbe
public that tbls particular device will
not long be delayed." — Baltimore
American.
Berlin's Railway Porters.
Tbe Berlin railway station porters,
well known to travelers by their white
tunics, have formed themselves tor
mutual protection Into a limited liability company, which bears tbe proud
title of Knliniimtllch Ziigclnssone Berliner Gepacklioforderimgsgenossen-
schaft mlt lleschrunkter Ilnftting.
Should the call for nn official of the
society not trip readily off the tongue
nervous travelers will be relieved to
hear Ibat the Berllners themselveu
find the nnme rather cumbersome nnd
that the organization Is popularly
known us the B. Z. B. G.
A Traveling Kitchen.
A Paris coterer has bought a mule
and n small van. In which Is fitted a
kitchen range with several hot dishes
all ready, uud sends Ihem out along the
streets In Charge of n cook. A horn
announces the presence of the van tc
the people, who come out and nre
handed on hot plates a portion of roast
meat or other dish, with vegetables,
cheese nnd dessert The scheme lu
a great success, nnd the caterer Is do-
lug a large business.
Dock For Brazilian Dreadnoughts,
The government of Brazil hns cnlled
for bids for the construction of a
greot floating drydock to accommodate
war nnd merchant vessels, nnd especially the new battleships of the
Dreadnought type now being constructed In England for the Brazilian
navy. The dock, which Is to ho built
at Rio de Janeiro. Is to hn"e n length
of B4II feet and a width of Kl feet-
rbllndclnht'i Press. THE   REPORTER,   NEW   MICHEL,   BRITISH   COLUMBIA.
TALES BY J
Hie Dilapidated Gentleman and
His Many Experiences.
HISTORY   REPEATED   ITSELF.
How a Juttice of tht Ptsct Got What
Wat Coming tol Him For Making a
Fait* Arrttt — A Michigan Murder
Mystery.
By  M. QUAD.
[Copyright, 1809. by Associated Literary
Prett.1 >
THE dilapidated gentleman was
sitting ou a park beucb ln tbe
sunshine and enjoying his
pipe with great gusto, uud as
the Interviewer approached be was
greeted with:
"I'm not much on old sayings, but
I wish to remark tbat history repeats
Itself." '
"Just how ln tbls case?"
"Seven or eight years ago, as I was
taking a saunter over the.great state
ot Ohio and was approaching V mings-
town, I was nabbed by a constable,
rushed before a J. P. and sent to Jail
for tbree months as a rag. i bad
$25 tn my pocket, bad been at work
for a farmer for weeks and was a vag
in no sense of tbe term.   I asked for
"KB AN   HOCH   I   KADI   HER TABT- THE
BITTEBNSBS 01 DEATH."
a lawyer to defend me, but was refused. While 1 dug my way out of
the old Jail within a week. I've always
wanted to get even wltb that J. P.
After getting out 1 wrote bim a letter
tbat 1 would get even."
"Well?"
"Well. Pve got even at last Half
an bour ago tbe worst looting ■ d
bum I've seen In tbree years came
along here and struck me for a nick.
We fell to talking, and bang me If he
didn't turn out to be tbut same old
J. P.! Lost his wife, lost his bome
and all else and bns come down to
tramping, sny, 1 got up. turned him
around and gave blm the boot six
times, and now I feel tbat the matter
la off my mind. Dr. Parsburst would
aay thut I ougbt to have taken blm to
my bosom and forgiven nnd sent him
back to Ohio wltb a necklace of
pearls, but I'm nut dolug business on
tbat corner.
"1 was telling you oue time." continued the dilapidated, "n-.st tbe absorbing Interest tanners tase In murders and robberies. It Is becnuse tbey
seldom meet up with anything of tbe
kind personally. I have stayed at
farmhouses wbere sucb a thing as a
robbery had not been known In fifty
yean. 1 told you nt tbe suine time
that tbe general idea ot a tramp Is
that he must. have been a pretty
wicked fellow at some time In his life.
If be don't own up tbut lie wus and
Mate tbat be bas reformed be's considered ns only hnlf a tramp.
"Five years ago tbls summer I was
touring Michigan. There's a town up
In tbe northern part of tbe state
named Bud Ax. 1'erbups there's a
Good Ax around there somewhere to
match '.t. but I enn't say. Five miles
from tbe town I struck a farmer whn
offered me a certain sum and board to
grub out some stumps. I went at It
After supper tbnt night I wns asked
enough questions to prove tbat tbe
family was curious utiout me, and 1
promised tbat nn the next nlgbt 1
would relate an experience to make
Jkelr hair stand up, That tanner was
a thrifty mini... He went among his
neighbors and repented my words, and
tbe result was thut when night came
sixteen outsiders had gathered at bis
bouse, at a charge nf lu rents each, to
bear me talk. Did be divvy with the
undersigned) Ob, nn! He knew a
good tblng when be saw It
His Marriage to Lovely Girl.
"When ready to talk I began with
my marriage to a lovely girl aod the
happiness tbat followed for a year.
Then a fiend Incarnate told her thnt
1 loved fourteen otber women, and
she eloped wltb blm. I found her
tracks In the mud nnd vowed heaven
thnt 1 would never rest until 1 had
bad revenge. For eight long years I
followed the guilty couple, and I wns
about to give up lu despair when one
evening I found myself seated directly behind them nt a circus performance. As they nte peanuts and drank
lemonade I tried to borrow a stiletto
to stab them In tbe buck. No stiletto
was to be found.
"When the show was out I followed
tbe couple. They got Into a wagon
and drove three miles Into the country.
and I followed close behind. I could
hnve pulled ii rail off the fence und
killed them ns they drove, but I bad
another plnn. At this point 1 asked
«   Ji one of my audience to take a
solemn oath not to betray my secret
nor take any steps whatever to bring
tne to justice. Not one refused to take
the oath. They licked their chops and
were glad to take It. It presaged something more bloody than they bad
booed for.
"Well, as the story went. I hung
around the farm for a couple of days,
and then the wife began making soft
soap. The lye In tbe big kettle bad
been boiling for five hours nnd midnight bnd come wheu 1 raised n window and crept Info the house. I found
tbe guljty parties asleep. 1 tapped
tbem on the bead wltb a club and
awoke them. Then I sat down by the
bedside and gloated over their fears.
Oh, but I gloated! Tbey wept and
prayed and shivered and shook, but I
sat tbere with tbe look of a demon
on my fnce. I prolonged their misery
for hours, nnd I had my audience so
wrought up that no one breathed,
I "I could bave battered ln tbe skulls
oVmy victims with the club or cut
off their heads with the ax, but such
a death would have been too merciful.
After tantalizing tbem to my heart's
content I carried tbe man out to the
soap kettle and beld him ln it. head
downward, until he ceased to kick.
Then came the turn of ber who bad
been my wife. Heavens, bow sbe
shrieked and prayed, how sbe ran
around" the room, bow she cried oiit
to me that the man had hypnotized
her! I was grlm-grlra ns the death
thot must soon be hers. She looked for
Just one flicker of mercy ln my eyes,
but she looked ln vain. For nn hour I
made her taste the bitterness of dentb.
and then I reached out to seize her
and make soft soap of her, but henrt
disease had carried her off. Sbe was
dead.
" 'And I'm glad of It!' shouted every
soul In tbe room as be or she rose up.
Robbtd Houtt snd Fled.
v"Well. there wasn't mucb more to
tell them. I robbed the bouse and
fled far away and had never even
been suspected of tbe murders. I
asked them to be so kind as to remember their oaths, as I had a strange
prejudice against being hung, and then
let the farmer lock me Into the barn
for the night Next day I was arrested, of course. Every one of tbem had
gone and given me away. Two constables came and loaded me wltb
chains, nnd 1 was taken to the county
Jail. Warrants for murder were sworn
out and the legal authorities at Pilot
Knob. Mo., communicated wltb. That's
where 1 had laid the scene of tbe
crime.
••Say, ray friend, 1 was In quod six
weeks nnd during that time 245 people were admitted to gaze upon the
blood stained demon. Reporters from
three papers Interviewed roe, and I
told them six different yarns. 1 received and entertained and confessed
to Ave different ministers. No two
confesslona were alike. Seven different doctors studied and examined me.
1 wasn't going through wltb all this
and living like a tramp, you know.
You bet I wnsn't 1 bad tbe bridal
chamber of the jail, and 1 bud dainties
nnd bouquets to beat the baud, it
was my harvest and 1 made tbe most
of It.
"Of course tbe Missouri "officials
were bound to write back after due
Investigation that. I was a liar, and
of course the time came wbeu I was
turned nut of JalL There was general
Indignation that 1 was not a fiendish
murderer Instead ot au Innocent man.
and some folks hinted 'at lynching.
Tbe sheriff fairly kicked me out of
the jail, and the only friend I had was
tbe farmer for whom 1 bad started
grubbing stumps. He wns waiting
tor me nt his gate, and wben i came
along be saluted me wltb:
"'Come right In and go to work
again, and I'll make your board tree
this time.'
" 'But I thought you'd be down on
me,' 1 said.
"'Lands, no! A man thnt can lie
like you ran ougbt to bave $30 a
montb and board to do notblng else!
Come In. Come In.'"
Superfluous.
"When I observe tbe wny some
things go In New fork, over which
we mnke a fuss when we get them,"
said tbe Rev. Thomas It. Sllcer, "and
think of what we ought to hnve 1 am
reminded nf the poor minister who
hnd seven children and wbose family
was Increased to eight. He told his
eldest child, n daughter, about tbe
new baby.
" 'Well, father.' she said. 'I suppose
It Is all right, hut tbere are a lot of
things we needed more.' "-Saturday
Evening l'(ist.
What She Hoptd.
Miss Cayenne—Why. I thrtitght you
were to sail for KSumpe yesterday.
Cnllowlt-Thnt was me—nw-lnten-
tlon.doucher know, bnt 1-uw-chunged
me mind nt the inwst moment
Miss Cnyenne-Olad to henr It. and I
hope you got a better one In tbe ex-
chnnge.-l'lttsburg Post
A CRUSOE RESCUED.
SPEECH FRIGHT.
Lieut. Shackleton't   "Nimrod" Findt
Milting  Islands.
Details have now been received of
the homeward voyage of the Nimrod,
the vessel of the Shackleton Expedi
tion, aB a result of which further geographical work of the highest interest
has been carried out, adding considerably to the scientific value .j tiie
work of the British Antarctic Expedi- I
tion. The work in question, whicb includes the establishment of the fact
that no less than four islands or
groups of islands shown on all Admiralty charts do not exist, was carried out under conditions of great difficulty, as will be realized when it is
stated that the Nimrod had to search
for these islands in very rough sens
and when there were 16 hours daily
of absolute darkness. A most interesting feature of the journey wns the
• isit paid to Macquarie Island, on
which was found a solitary inhauitant
with two dogs. The Nimrod, under
the command of Capt. J. K. Davis,
left Sydney on May 8, and, in accordance with Lieut. Shaekleton's instructions, proceeded south in order
to visit Macquarie Island and search
for certain charted groups of islands,
the actual existance of which wus
doubtful.
On May 18, in fine, clear weather,
the vessel passed over the position assigned to Royal Society Island with
no land in sight. A sounding was
taken in the neighborhood, and bottom reached with 2,430 fathoms of
line. Capt. Davis then stood east and
then south, but saw no signs of land
in the vicinity. After satisfying himself that the island did not exist, he
proceeded to Macquarie Island in order to make zoological collections. He
encountered heavy gales, and reached
the island on May 26. Macquarie Island, the southernmost of the off-lying
islands of New Zealand, lies 645 miles
southwest of Stewart Island, and was
discovered in the early part of the
last century by a colonial sealing vessel. It is 21 miles long and five miles
broad, and is the home of countless
myriads of penguins, sea birds and
seals.
A visit was paid to the southeast
point of the island and some specimens collected, and then the Nimrod
proceeded along the coast northwards.
Ab she drew near Nugget Point, from
which a reef of rocks extends for some
distance seawards, two huts were seen
on the shore and alao the wreck of
a vessel high and dry on the beach
In his report, which is just to hand
Capt. Davis says: "Suddenly, to our
surprise, a column of smoke rose from
the smaller of the two huts. As we
had heard nothing of anyone living
on the island, this was extraordinary.
Presently, with the glasses, we could
make out the figure of a man standing at the door of the smaller of the
huts watching our approach. We came
to anchor, r-.nithe boat was lowered
and headed for the shore. The man,
who had been watching us Irom the
hut, now walked down to the beach,
aaccompanied by two little dogs.
There was a heavy surf, but our Crusoe-like friend, after pointing out tha,
best landing-place, walked into the
water and assisted in beaching the
boat
We soon ascertained that his name
was Wm. McKibben, and that he had
been a member of a party which had
visited the island in the previous season in order to obtain seal and penguin oil.
Htr Weight of Sin.
"Mother, I've u dreadful thing to
confess to you. Lust night when you
told me to lie down In bed I lied
down, but after you turned out the
gns I grounded my teeth at you ln
tbe dnrk!"-London Punch.
Your Gait
Don't go such a tearful rote.
Take a slow an' stlddy salt.
Don't you ininK you'd hetter heed
Common Bense nn' check your speed?
Rome warn't fashioned in a day.
Hurry lobs don't never stay.
Take a Bait theft sate an' sunt,
The'.i keep pushln' on the rein.
Better make It slow an' sure
Ef you want II to endure.
Lots o' things kin hop. Indeed.
When you try lo overapeed.
you might git there quicker, air
Then ag'in you mlxhtn't land.
There's a gait thefs safe an' sant.
Tuke It. then push on the rein.
-Juo Cone in Uuston Herald.
Opera Under Difficulties.
Baron d'Erlanger, whoBe opera,
"Tess," was produced at Covent Garden a few days ago, will not readily
forget the first performance, which
took place at the San Carlo Theatre,
Naples, Bome time ago. Vesuvius was
in eruption at the time, and the then-
tie contained comparatively few spectators, who were half panic-stricken.
During the performance the roofs of
some buildings near the theatre fell
in, and the lava dust, which got into
the theatre, nearly choked and blinded both listeners and performers.
Next day the theatre was closed by
order of the municipality. The baron
has been a musician all his life. At'
five he was able to improvise on the
piano, and when quite a young man
he wrote a great number of songs.
He is an active partner in one of the
great banking houses of London, and,
although a naturalized Englishman,
his family history is somewhat curious. He was born in Paris, his
mother being an American and hiB
father a German, while his maternal
grandmother was Fr^icli.
, The Bithop't Mathematics.
Concerning his early education, the
Bishop of Manchester makes an interesting confession. It cost his father nothing, for the simple reason that
he attended a free school. But the
mathematics were taught by musters
who had never studied the subject.
"Consequently," says the bishop,
"when I could not understand n rule
I went to the master nnd asked him
to explain it to me, and I remember
to this day how he put on liis black
cap and his blackest frown, nnd said.
'Can Knox read?' I trem'jled and
Baid, 'Yes, sir.' '/Then,' said the
master, 'let him read the rule.' I
proceeded to read it aloud to the
whole class, and then he said, 'Let
Knox go and do the rule.' Thnt was
all the explanation I got, and that
led to a certain originality in my
mathematics which, I am sorry to
say, has not been appreciated by eminent mathematicians."
Many Great English Parliamentarian!
Had It. N
"No great orator has ever lived," the
late Lord Dutlerin once said, "who did
not feel very nervous before rising to
his feet I have often seen the legs
of one of the most effective Hnd heart-
stirring speakers in the House of
Lords, to whom that assembly never
failed to listen, shake like an aspen
leaf during the delivery of the first
few sentences of his speech."
This nervous orator who quivered
like an aspen wss none other Jhan
Lord Derby, the "Rupert of Debate,"
and one of tbe most practised and
powerful, speakers Westminster has
ever known. And his lordship made
no concealment of his weakness, for
he once confessed to Macaulay, at the
very zenith of his career, "My throat
and lips, when I am going to speak,
are as dry as those of a man who is
going to be hanged."
John Bright, past-master ss he was
of all the arts of oratory, went
through agonies of nervousness, to
his last day, when he was about to
make an important speech. "I know
I ought to be ashamed of myself," he
confessed, towards the end of his life,
"but the fact is, I never riBe in the
House without a trembling at the
knees snd a secret wish that somebody else would catch the Speaker's
eye and enable me to sit down again."
Even Disraeli, the most cool-headed and self-confident of orators, was
a sufferer from speech-fright. "Dizzy,"
his wife once told a friend, "is the
sweetest-tempered of men. but he is
always very irritable when he is going
to speak;'" and when they drove together to the House on those occasions hiB nervous condition was such
that she dared not speak to him.
"The blare of trumpets," he himself
hns written, "a thousand lookers-on,
have induced men to lead n forlorn
liopa. Ambition, one's constituents,
or the hell of previous failure have
induced men to do a far more desperate thing—speak in the House of
CommoiiB •'
Gladstone, even, did not live long
enough to face an audience without a
tremor. Indeed, his nervousness
when about to speak was often painfully noticeable. He would tremble
like a greyhound in the leash until it
was time to rise.
WILL KEEP AT IT.
Hubert Latham It Not Discouraged by
Accident!.
Notwithstanding his two unsuccessful attempts to fly across the English
Channel, Hubert Latham declares he
will try again.   At his first attempt
HUBERT LATHAM.
Latham fell into the water ten miles
out from Calais. While Latham was
repairing his monoplane for a second
trial Louis Bleriot stole a march on
him and performed the feat of flying
from Calois to Dover in thirty-three
minutes. Latham then undertook to
fly' from Calais to London, but fell
r.eein this time only two miios out
from Dover.
Tht Silent Club.
Mr. J. M. Barrie is a member ol
the Athenaeum Club, in Pall Mall.
On his first appearance there, it is
said, he once asked for some mo..: motion from a gentleman sitting near
him. To his great surprise, the older
member not only told him all he
wanted to know, but insisted on Mr.
Rarric dining with'hini and takinr
supper afterwords, though neither of
them knew the other's name. Upon
Mr. Barrie protesting that lie could
not possibly accept so much kindness
from a stranger, the other immediate-
ly replied: "Don'tmention if; don't
mention it. Why, I've belonged to
this club for 25 years, and you are
tiie very first member who bus ever
spoken to me."
Ftw Rtach* Forty.
Out of every thousand people born,
onlv 253 attain the age of forty.
nrW*
The Original "Admirable Crichton."
Among the phrases which are to a
certain extent stereotyped in the English '.anguage, "Admirable Crichton"
is one that is invaluable. It expresses what no two other wards can
—the highest pitch of all-round excellence that it is possible for n human being to attain. But how many
people know who the hero of the
phrase was? To most he is u name
and nothing more.
Accordingly there is ample room for
an excellent brochure recently published from the peii of Mr. Douglas
Crichton, F.S.A., Scot, entitled "The
Admirable Crichton: The Real Character."
Crichton was another Chatterton,
"the marvelous boy that perished in
his prime." The Admirable one entered St. Andrews University when he
was nine years old. Three yenrs later
he became a Bachelor of Arts, nnd at
the age of fourteen he took his Allium
Mugister degree.
At his twentieth year he spoke ten,
languages, could never forget anything he ever heard, was philosopher,
theologian, mathematician, orator,
fencer, dancer, horseman. In his person he was "extremely bean'.iful."
When one reads that "he vw also
abic to discourse upon politic*) questions with much solidity," i« -vill be
J Slithered that this Apollo wait a prod-
gy of prodigies.—"Edinburt'Ji Evening Dispatch."
Lunacy  In  England,
The report of the commissioners of
lunacy contains ominous figures regarding the increase of insanity in
Great Brltuin. There are now 128,787
of the certified insane, an increase of
2,763. The women exceed the men by
10,000. The criminal lunatics have
IncrcuBcd 3.5 per cent, in the year.
A noticeable feature is the high
ratio of insanity among persons of
the learned professions. Civil and
mining engineers show the highest
relio.
The commissioners favor farm cot
Onies for the mild cases, und also an
extension of the boarding-out system
under supervision with observation
wards.
SIRES AND SONS.
William Peon Is buried at Jordan*.
England. He win seventy-four years'
ild wben be died.
Senator Beveriilge served aa cook for
nls fraternity ln order to aid,In paying
bis way through college.
Senator Aldrlcb enlisted as a private
In tbe civil war, but was mustered out
before his regiment got to the front.
George M. Bowers of West Virginia
has been national fish commissioner
so long he knows all the' fishes by
their flrst names.
John D. Rockefeller has caused to be
constructed on his estate a rainbow
fountain that throws out the prismatic
colors whenever the sun Is shining.
General Riza Pasha, for fifteen years
minister of war In the Turkish government is prominent among the officials wbo huve been exiled by tbe
Young Turks. It Is said tbat he seemed delighted to depart for Mltylenc.
the ancient Lesbos home of Sappho.
At tbe recent convention of the International Association of Chiefs of Police. In Buffalo, the biggest man present was Michael Regan, the head of
Buffalo's police department Chief
Regan stands six feet four Inches In
his stockings. He wns elected vice
president of the association.
After a service of sixty-five years as
a teacher, flfty-seven of wblch were
spent In the Boston Latin school.
Charles .1. Capen has retired st the
age ot eighty-six. His friends and associates proudly point to him ns the
oldest professional educator ln the
world. Mr. Capen was graduated from
Harvard in 1843.
k
HOUDAT DISASTERS
SOME OF BRITAIN'S MOST APPALLING FATALITIES.
Fly Catches.
Pitchers Clcotte and Steele of the
Boston Americans are two of tbe sur
prises of the season.
Dick Pndden, former captain and
second baseman of tbe St. Louis
Browns, has been signed as scout by
President Hedges of the St Louis
Americans.
Lou Crlger and Jimmy Williams of
the St Louis Americans say that Trls
Speaker of the Bostons Is, in their estimation, the greatest outfielder since
Jimmy McAleer. time.
Chirk Griffith, tbe Cincinnati manager. Is willing to pay a good price for
the release of Unglaub of tbe Wash-
ingtons. but Manager Cuntllloti refused
to consider any proposition.
What n wonderful trio of outfielders
Mel njj're. Crawford and Cobb are. All
are good bitters, fine throwers and fast
men on tbelr feet. Most of Detroit's
strength lies In these three men.
Outfielder Ward Miller bus. dime
some shifting this seusou. He wus
drafted by Chicago, secured by Pittsburg via the waiver route and has now
been traded by Pittsburg to Cincinnati
for Pitcher Blaine Durbln.
Kntw Hit Trade.
"It Isn't fair to Impose sucb heavy
fines nn nntoinobillsts wbo violate the
anti-speed ordinance." said the kind
hearted villager. "Assessing them n
hundred dollars and costs Is too severe. Ten dollars would be penalty
enough."
"Huh!" ejaculated the magistrate
"Vou don't know these, city folks. If
this court marked down the tines that
low they .would be within the reach
of a'nybody. and not one of tbe society
buiicb would scorch through here
Wheu I sonk tbem for a hundred every
time It makes this court exclusive, and
that's wbat they're after."—Chicago
Post
Wanted s Handout.   '
"1 suppose," began tbe kind lady, be.
fore Mr. Husky Hnsbeen got a ruancs
to. exercise bis voice, "that ynn want
to chop some wood in exchange for a
square meal, don't you?"
"I'd like ter oblige yer. Indy," replied
the dusty traveler, "but It's bin more 'n
twenty years since 1 done anything In
dntllne."
"Well," snid the k. I., "here'a where
you can practice till yon get your hand
In."
•'Nothln' doin', Indy." rejoined the
hobo. "Wat I'm loptln' fer Is a band-
out.   See!"
And Ihe kind lady fell ln a faint
Hypothttiotl Qutttlont.
"Wbnt will your mother say to you
when you get homey" suld one boy.
"She'll start In by asking me some
hypothetical questions." auswered precocious Willie.
"Whnt are they?"
"Questions that sbe thinks she
knows tbe answers to before she
starts to talk."-Plck-Me-Pp.
A Ctuse Foe Tears.
Sbe offered an explanation of her
tearful mood.
"I've been to a wedding." she snid
"I always cry more at n wedding thn"
I do at n funeral. It's so much more
uncertain."—Mlnueiipolls Journal.
Obliging.
"Look bere, little boy, 1 want to go
to Corn Hollow!"
"All right, lady, go right along. I'm
not u-tryln' let' stop juii:"-Sl. Louis
rost-lilspntcb. .  .
How tht Steamer Ibex Laden With*
Excursionistt Wat Savtd by the
Speed at Which She Wat Going—
The Stella Wreck—The Hampttea*
Heath Catastrophe—Panic in at
Wettmintter Thtatrt.
It says much for the excellent organization of. railway and steamboat,
services that, even in times of gre.t
pressure upon their resources, accidents in proportion to the number
traveling are very rare. Nevertheless, it is seldom that a bank holiday season passes without accident*
af a more or. less serious character..
When one considers the hugeness of
the operations involved, the only
wonder is that more of the traveling
public are' not maimed or killed.'
In '1887 the wreck of an excursion,
stenmer occurred which was a sort-
of forecast, had one been gifted with
prevision, of a much more terrible
event two years later. The Ibex,,
laden with 500 passengers, was approaching St. Helier on Good Friday of that year, and, seemingly unsuspicious ot danger, was proceed-
ing at full speed between Guernsey
und Jersey. As it happened, her
speed, though fatal tp herself, wus
the "'salvation of her passengers, for
she not only struck a reef of sunkeit
rocks, but became so immovably fixed between two of them that she-
could not founder, and there she remained until the Frederica took off
all her passengers.
Two years later the terrible Stella
eatastrophe took place. She wus not.
nearly so heavily laden as the Ibex,
although Bhe was a fine steamship,
being, indeed, one of the best boats
belonging to the Southwestern Railway Company plying between Southampton and the Channel Islands.
On March 30th, 1899, she started
at 11.45 p.m., and five hours later
ehe had foundered in deep water,
and between, seventy and eighty of
her passengers and crew had perished.
The place of this catastrophe wa*
the dreaded Casquets, and so dense-
was the fog into which the Stella had.
run that the navigating officer wus
so much out of his reckoning that
only a few minutes before she struck
he had expressed his belief that the
Casquets were eight miles distant!
Unlike the Ibex, the Stella was
feeling her way slowly, and when she-
struck upon the granite ledge, she
did not run far enough upon it tc
remain there, but, after pounding
great holes in her side for ten minutes, she slid off the rocks into deep-
water and went down, her boilers
exploding bb she sank,
A very remarkable accident occurred at the Hampstead Heath Station of the North London Railway on
Easter Monday, 1892. The station
was reached by a flight of steep and
narrow stairs, and at the bottom of
of these waa a barrier which could
be opened and closed. The usual
great concourae ot people were disporting themselves upon the Heath
as the day was beautiful, when suddenly, late in the afternoon, a tremendous rainstorm came on, and
thousands of people rushed for the
shelter of the railway station.
Presently the platform was 8o>
densely crowded thnt any further additions would inevitably cause people to be pushed off the platform
on*"to the railway lines. To pruvent
this possibility the barrier was closed at the bottom of. the stairs, and
some scores of people were thus entrapped in the narrow way, while
the people at the too and dursido
continued to try, with- might taut
main, to get into shelter. Eight or
ten people were literally crushed to t
death and a large number were very'
badly injured.
As long ago as Boxing1 Day, 1S58 a
terrible panic took place at a popular piayhouse in Westminster. Before the afternoon performance was
concluded a great crowd of people
were already waiting at the doors
for the evening performance, and
when the cry of "Fire!" was raised
inside, and the audience, mad with
excitement, ran out, the people outside, knowing nothing of the cause
of their sudden exit, tried to- get in
to secure a good place. Needless to*
say, the fight between the contending forces was a terrriflc one, ami
before it was over 50 people were mow
or lesB badly injured and 15' were
dead.
A Tatttful Officer.
Recently, when Lord Kitchener wns
dining with the mesB of a certain regiment, one of the younger officers
present asked him if he would sign his
autograph on a handkerchief. Kitctr-
ener willingly assented, and a dainty
piece of linen was passed up. After
studying the handkerchief for n moment, he said, with a laugh, "Hull.f
This is your Bister's—eh?" "No,"
replied the subaltern; "it's mine. I
have rather good taste in handkerchiefs, you know." "Yes," snorted!
K. of K„ in great contempt, as he
flung the handkerchief back unsigned.
"And what is your taste in hairpins,
may I ask?"
The New Royal Academician.
Mr. J. J. Shannon, the new R.A.,
like other well-known artists, has
known struggling days. It is said that
on one occasion he fohnd himself out.
side the Lyceum Theatre -hesltatr-ir
between a play and a supper at an adjacent eating-house. He possessed u
solitary shilling, decided on the play,
and went supperless to bed. Now
his portraits cost the sitters frnii
£800 to £1,000 each. For each of his
portraits thirty or forty sittings are
usually required, and, as the artist-
generally paints about a dozen portraits a yeBr, it will be seen thnt lie
is one of the most industrious of men.
Man-Eating Tiger.
Once a tiger has taken to man-eating it confines itself to that kind of
food. In many parts of India the
death-roll from this cause is still very
large.
/ THE   REPORTER.   NEW   MICHEL,   BRITISH   COLUMBIA.
'Magistrate F. RaamuBMn, of aii,
Marquette Street, Montreal, wrttee
to the Zam-Buk Co. aa follows:—
"QcntltmeD,—Per mnny yean I wm
troubled with a iirtoui eruption of the
•kin. which wm not only untight ly, but
at tlmei very painful. I tint tried various
houeehold remedies, but all theee proved
altogether uteleee.
" 1 then took medical advice. Not one,
hut several doctors In turn were consulted,
but I was unable to jet any permanent
relief. Some time back I noticed a report
from a Justice of Oft Peace wbo had been
cured of a chronic ekln-dleeaeo 'by
Zam-Buk, and I determined to glva thle
balm a trial.
11 After a thoroughly fair test, I can say
t am delighted with tt I hava the beet
reaeone for this conclusion; becauee, while
everything else 1 trled-rsalves, embrocations, waehea, soaps, and doctors' preparations—failed absolutely to relieve my
pain and rid me of my trouble, three boxes
of Zam-Buk have worked a complete cure.
" In my opinion Zam-Buk should te
even mor. widely known then it ia, and
I have no objection to you publishing tola
letter."
Por ecsema. eruptions, rashes, tetter,
Itch, ringworm, and similar akin diseases,
Zam-Buk Is withouUeq.ua.. It also cures
cuts, burns, scalds, piles, abscesses,
chronic sores, blood-poisoning, etc. All
druggists and stores et 30 cente * box. or
post free for price from the Zam-Buk Co.,
Toronto,
•amBuk
Privilege of Experience
"Some 0' de men dat I hears indig-
natin' 'bout "Wall street," said Uncle
Eben, "has, had personal experiences
dat intitles'dem to speak wif feelin'.
"Dey 'minds me of de boy dat went
after honey in a hornet's nest an' got
»tung."—Washington Star.
It is in Demand.—80 great is the demand for Dr. Thomas' Eclectric Oil
that a large factory is kept continually busy making and bottling it. To
be in demand shows popular appreciation of this preparation, which stands
at the head of proprietary compounds
as the leading Oil in the market, and
ll. is generally admitted that it is deserving of the lend.
Little Eugene, aged three, is the
baby of the family. One night, after
having had his supper and being put
to bed, he propounded to his mother
the question: "Mamma, who got my
supper for me when you was little?"—
Lippincott's.
Minard's Liniment Curtt Burns, Etc.
TOWNS ON HOLIDAYS.
Williams—Young Astorbilt isn't at
all exclusive, is he?
Wolters—Why, I don't know.
Williams—Oh, he isn't. Why, this
morning I saw him riding in his auto,
mobile with a policeman.—Somerville
Journal.
How's This?
taae ot Catarrh Out   cannot be vena by Hall'
Catarrh Cult.
F. J. CHENEY A CO.. Toledo, a
We, the understrata, have known P. J. enw*,
lor the last 11 year*, and believe him perfectly boa-
orabl* In all bualnea* tramactlona and financial!,
able to carry out any obligation* mad* by ha firm.
Wilding. Kinkan a UinviN.
WboKW. Onuaajts, Toledo. O
Hall'. Catarrh  Cure  a  taken   Internally. actln|
directly upon the blood and muoou* surlaett of tbi
system.   Testimonial* eent free.  Price Is cents pt
bottle. Bold by all Drorelat*.
Tak* Hall's Family Pill* lor constipation.
Miserly—"So that woman doctor
charged you ***2 a visit. Well, what
did she say?"
His Wife—"Said I stayed indoors
too much.   Here's her prescription."
Miserly (reading It)—"For external
use only. One nice walking dress.
One new hat. One pair gloveB to
match. Apply every afternoon between three and five."—Boston Transcript.
If ivery housekeeper would use Wilson's Fly Pads freely during the Summer months the house fly peril would
soon be a thing of the past.
"Captain, is there no way in which
the ship may be saved?"
"None at all, sir; we are going to
the bottom, but I should not worry
about the ship, sir, if I were you—she
is fully insured. You'd better find a
life belt."—Houston Post.
DODD'S 7
fKIDNEY^
!i,p,LLM
W. N. U„ No. 760.
Outings in England Provided by Generous Firms.
" A few days ago Swindon was half
depopulated. Twenty-five thousand of
its inhabitants departed for trips to
various seaside places, being conveyed by a couple of dosen special trains
provided by the Great Western Railway. As most readers are aware,
Swindon is where the works of the
Great Western are situated, fully
three-fourths of the population being
dependent upon the railway company
for their livelihood. In addition to
providing the trains, the company
gives the whole of its employes a day's
holiday at its own expense.
The Great Eastern Railway, too, not
only give their employes at the Stratford works—numbering 5,000—free
passes for themselves, wives, and children, and run special trains for their
convenience to such places as Yarmouth, Clacton, Southend and Lowestoft, but they bIbo pay the men for
their holiday. The Great Eastern "annual" usually means that Stratford
is like a deserted town for seven
days.       ,
Just before the Swindon exodus, the
famous firm of Cadbury Bros., Ltd.,
of Bournville, provided a day's entertainment and sport for their thousands of employes. Messrs. Cadbury
nf course, ere, like Messrs. I«ver, of
Port Sunlight, as famous for the benefits they have conferred upon their
workpeople as they are for their respective manufactures. A notable feature of the Cadbury entertainment was
the reproduction of a pastoral play,
"Sherwood's Queen," in the beautiful
grounds attached to the works. It is
interesting to note in connection with
this play that all the dresses and the
whole make-up, including armor, etc.,
were made on Messrs. Cadbury's
premises.
Mention of Messrs. Lever reminds
us that the employes at Port Sunlight
are given a free holiday. On more
than one occasion the workpeople have
been able to visit the Continent, notably when 2,000 of them visited the
Paris Exhibition in 1900, at a cost of
j-CS.OOO, and four years ago, when all
the employes who had attained the
age of twenty were given an opportunity of visiting the Belgian Exhibition at Liege.
Last year the famous cycle firm
of Humber sent 2,000 of their workpeople from Coventry to Llandudno
for a day, while fifteen trains were
employed to carry the thousands of
Messrs. BaBs' employes from Burton
to Liverpool and New Brighton in
July last year.
Everything iB carried out on a free
and generous scale by the great firm
of Bass when their employes go for
their outing. Their usual plan is to
buy up foi the day the whole of the
amusements of the place visited, in
addition to which everyone is insured
against railway accident for £100 or
£100. This mammoth excursion usually costs Messrs. Bass about £16,000.
—London Tit-Bits.
Propostd to by Beaconsfleld.
The recent death of Don Carlos recalls the fact tHat Lady Cardigan,
whose reminiscences will shortly be
published, was at one time engaged
to his cousin, but the match was
broken off, and she afterwards married the Earl of Cardigan, who led
the charge of the Light Brigade at
Balaclava, and who died just over 40
years ago. His widow ultimately married the Count de Lancastre, who died
11 years ago. Lady Cardigan recalls
thai Lord Beaconsfleld, whose first
wife was not long dead, proposed to
her at the some time as Count de
Lancastre, as well as the fact that
when the Earl of Cardigan died Lord
Barrington wagered her five pounds
that she would be married again in
five vears. He onlv Utst lost. LtvW
Cardigan's recollections go back to the
time when, as a child of five, she attended a ball at St. James' Palace
given by William IV., and, being
missed, was eventually discovered, to
the horror of the startled attendants,
curled up in the King's chair   fast
Judged by the Title.
Mr. Harry M. Vernon, the author
of that clever curtain-raiser, "The
Deputy Sheriff," which is attracting
so many people to the Garrick Theatre, told the writer a curious story
concerning it the other day. It was
first offered to one of the chiefs of the
staff of an extensive music-hall tour,
Who said, beiore even glancing nt the
contents, "I don't like the title of
this." "He offered it back to me,"
aaid Mr. Vernon, ("and I suggested
that he would be more impressed
should ho deign to read the play. He
replied that he would look at it when
he had time, and after waiting some
weeks, I called to ask if ho had come
tp any decision regarding it. 'There's
no use my reading it, the title don't
strike me. I can always go by thnt.'
However. I left the play with him
for another week or two, and then, as
he had not read it, I took it awuy."
The Misting Jam.
Sir William Hartley, who combines
the manufacture of jam with much
philanthropic and religious work, tells
a rollicking story of a letter he once
received from a Welsh customer.
"Dear Sir," it ran, "why in the name
of goodness gracious don't you send
the jam I ordered last week? I have
already lost Mr. Jones' custom
through you. Why don't you send
the jam, man? Bother you, you are
a nuisance whatever I Send the jam
at once, quick—Yours truly, John
Devies.' Then followed a postscript:
"Dear Sir,—Since writing the above
letter I have found the jam under the
counter."
NERVOiJSJ[SORDE?S
Promptly Cared by the Use of
Dr. Williams'Pink Pilb.
If your hand trembles or i3 unsteady, remember that this is a sure
and early sign of your nervous sys-
tcih being at fault. The mischief
may develop" slowly to a worse
stage. You feel unaccountably weak
and weary after exertion; you''oose
flesh; you turn against food and suffer palpitations and indigestion after
eating. At times you are intense.'
irritable, greatly depressed and easily
worried. Sometimes sharp pains
shoot down' your spine and legs and
probably neuralgia robs you of your
sleep at night. These are some of
the troubles that indicate the presence of nervous disorders. If these
troubles are neglected they result in
complete nervous collapse and possibly paralysis. Dr. Williams' Pink
Pills have won a great reputation by
curing all forms of nervous disease.
The nervous system depends entirely
upon the blood supply for nourishment; when the Wood is thin and
weak the nerves are affected as described. Dr. Williams' Pink Pills
actually increase the supply of good
red blood, feed, strengthen and tone
the ntrves, enable them to perform
their functions and dispel all signs
of a breakdown.
Mrs. Jas. H. Ward, Lord's Cove.
N.B., says; "About two yearB ago I
Buffered ro much from nervous prostration that I was little better than
a h"lpless wreck. I suffered from
headaches and a constant feeling of
dizziness. The least unusual move
would startle me and set my heart
palpitating violently. I had little or
no anpetite, end grew bo weak that I
was hardly able to drag myself about,
and could not do my housework. In
every way I was in a deplorable condition. As the medicine I had been
taking seemed to do me no good, my
husband got a supply of Dr. Williams' Pink Pills. I had only been
irking the Pills for a couple of weeks,
when I seemed to feel somewhat better, and thiB encouraged me to continue the treatment. From that on
my strength gradually but surely returned, nnd in the course of a few
more weeks I was once more a well
womnn, able to do my own housework
and feeling better than I had clone for
years. I have since remained well
and feel that I owe my cood health to
the healing powers of Dr. Williams'
Pink Pills."
Every other weak, sickly, worn
out, nervous person should follow
the example of Mns. Ward and give
Dr. Williams' Pink Pills a fair trial.
These Pills will send new blood
conrsin- through the veins and bring
brightness hnd energv to the. weak
nnd despondent. Sold by all medicine dealers or by mnil at BO centB a
box from The Dr. Williams' Medicine
Co., Brockville, Ont.
FISH THAT WALK.
The woman emancipationist had
tackled the serene old bachelor, and
wns reading the Riot Act to him. He
sauirmed occasionally, but he retained his serenity. 'Have you ever done
nnything for the emancipation of
womnn, I'd like to know?" she asked
"Indeed I have, madame," he smiled.
"I have remained a bachelor."
Recognised as the lending snecific
fnr the destruction of worms. Mother
Graves' Worm Exterminator has
proved a boon to suflerim; children
everywhere.   It seldom fails.
"Physical culture, father, is perfectly lovely!" exclaimed an enthusiastic
young miss just home from college.
"Look! To develop the arms I grasp
this rod hy one end and move it slowly from right to left."
"Well, well!" exclaimed the father,
"what won't science discover! If that
rod hnd straw at the other end you'd
be sweeping."
Minard's Liniment rtlievet Neuralgia.
One dny a dentist hnd occasion to
punish his five-year-old son for disobedience. As he picked up the rod
the little fellow snid: "Papa, won't
you please give me gas flrst?"—Chicago Daily News.
It is an undisputed fact that one
packet of Wilson's Fly Pads has actually killed a bushel of house flies
Fortunately no such quantity can ever
he found in a well kept house, but
whether they he few or many Wilson's
Fly Pads will kill them all.
"Well, did tho governor give you a
raise?"
"No."
"Not even when you told him you
had grown grey in liis services?"
"No! he gave mo the name of a good
hair dye."—London Scraps.
Mlnardt   Liniment   Cures   Dandruff.
There was a slight commotion under
the sofa. The pretty girl and her
fiance peeped under, and were startled
to see Brother Tommy's toes protruding.
"You, Tommy," stii his sister with
much emphasis; "what are you doing
under there—watching us?"
"Naw," grumbled Tommy. "I ain't
wotching you."
"Then what are you doing?"
"Why, I was playing that I am
mending n motorcar—that's what."
Capitalizing a Volet.
Floating a young lady's voice ns a
limited liability company sounds
Bomewhat Gilbertien, yet it has actually been done in Australia. A syndi- \
cate with a capital of ,£1,000 in £1
shares has been formed to send a
young lady with a remarkable voice
to be trained by Mme. Marches! in
Paris. She has entered into an engagement to give on her return a series of concerts in the principal Australian cities under the* direction of
the syndicate, whose members hope
and expect in this way to get their
oapital back plus • substantial dividend.
Send for free sampl? to Dent. N.U., Na-
tional Drug & Chemical Co., Toronto.
Officers in India Tell of a Strange
Procession of Perch.
It tr-ay seem absurd to speak of
fishes sb walking. The flying fiBh is
well known, but its flight looks much
like swimming in the air. We naturally think of fishes as living always
in water, as being incapable, in fact,
of living anywhere else.
But Nature maintains no hard and
fast lines oi distinction between a in
mal life which belongs to the land
and that which belongs to the water.
If we can believe the accounts of
naturalists, there are fishes that traverse dry land.
It is reported that Dr. Francis Day,
of India, has collected several instances of the migration of fishes by
land from one piece of water to another.
A party of English officers were
upon one occasion encamped in a certain part of India, when their attention 'was attracted by a rustling sound
in the grass und leaves. Investigation showed it to be caused by myriads
of little fishes that" were making for
cne direction and were passing slowly
on. There were hundreds of them
moving by using their Bide and small
fins as feet; now upright, now falling
down, sq-.irming, bending, rolhing
over, regaining their finny feet and
again pressing on.
These fishes were the famous climbing perch, about which so much has
been said and written, and they were
passi"? ov»- the country to avoid a
drought. When the stream in which
they have been spending the season
dries up, they scale the banks, Bnd,
directed by some marvellous instinct,
crawl to another
POISONED ARROWS.
The Millionaires' Pastor.
A few days ngo the Rev. C. F. Aked
landed at Liverpool, where he was
once the pastor of Pembroke.Chapel.
Some two years ago, however, he
took over the past-rate of the Fifth
Avenue Baptist Church—known as
the "Millionaires' Chapel"—in New
York, and his plain sermons to the
magnates of Wall Street—Mr. Rockefeller included—hove caused no small
sensation. For Mr. Aked is a man
who believes in calling a spade a
spade. "I made up my mind early,"
he once remarked, "that whotever I
had to say should be Baid in the most
vigorous language. As a preacher I
have always aimed at plainness ot
speech. People may say I am a fanatic; you have to be fanaticul now."
Neither does he mind telling a
story against himself. During his
early days at Pembroke Chapel he
approached a certain man for a contribution towards the church fund.
"Can't do it," said the man. "Why
not? Is not the cauBe a good one?"
"Yes, but I am not able to give anything." "Pooh! pooh! I know better; you must give a better reason
than that." "Well, I owe too much
money—I must be just before I'm
generous, you know. "But you owe
your Maker a larger debt than you
do anybody else." "That's true, sir;
but, then, He isn't pushing me like
the balance of my oreditore."—Tit-
Bits.
 »
King Edward's Private Secretary.
Debonair and always immaculately
dressed—except when working in his
ollice at -Buckingham Palace, when he
takes off his coat, tucks up his cuffs,
and proceeds to deal with His Majesty's letter-bag—Lord Knollys, King
Edward's private secretary, who recently celebrated his 72nd birthday.
is known for his courtliness and
grace. He is a mail of much considerate kindliness, but at the s.ame time
a man of few words. Some little while
ago a journalist, who happened to be
the only one of his craft at a meeting
where the King made a little speech,
went to Lord Knollys with his transcript nnd asked his lordship to
glance over his copy. Lord Knollys
dashed the reporter's hopes to the
ground by Buying he was not present
at the meeting. "Come back in two
hours," he said. The pressman returned at the appointed time and
found his copy corrected in a strange
hand. Lord Knollya had gone to the
King himself, and His Majesty had,
with his usual kindliness, made the
corrections.
"Whola Kipling?"
Here is the latest Kipling story. A
s^rt time n*ro a bronzed prtntleninn,
with drooping black moustache,
walked into the outer office of the
American publishers of Mr. Kipling's
books. "That's Rudyard Kipling,"
one man whispered to another. The
rumor went all over the building that
Rudyard Kipling wns downstairs.
Several people went to have a look at
him, but there was one man who
knew, nnd he said, "Kipling, the dickens!   Thnt is Mr. 's tailor."   The
next time the tailor came in, the same
wise employe said to him, "You created quite a sensation here the other
dny. A lot of people took you for
Kipling." The man's face was a
blank.' "Kipling, Kipling—who's Kipling?" he asked.
"An Old Sheep."
A Bengali clerk who had been
transferred, at his own request, from
my office to another Government office in Calcutta, was anxious to return, apd wrote to mn personally on
the subject. Although not a Christian himself, he was evidently acquainted with the familiar lines of
Bonar's hymn:
"J was a wandering Bheep,
I did not love the fold;"
nnd this is how he npplied them to
his own case: "It is true I have wondered from the fold, i.e., the Director-
General's office, but I trust thot your
honor will be merciful and receive
buck an old sheep."—"Stray Stories
Irom India," by Sir Arthur Fanshawe,
in "Blackwood's Maguiine."
How a Brjtish Force Wat Ambushed
at Kuta, In Nigeria.
How a British missionary made a
hazardous journey in face of a tornado
to a scene of an attack on a British
force, who were ambushed, is told in
the details now to hand of the attack
on a British force in Nigeria. The
first news came to Minna, a place
on the line of the Baro Kano Railway,
about 30 miles from the scene of the
occurrence, stating that a British force
had been cut up at Gussoro by the
difficult and truculent Guari people.
This account, which was hurriedly
written by the doctor, who was himself wounded, merely stated that the
officer in charge was missing, together
with a European police officer and a
sergeant,and that the writer was himself wounded. The Rev. W. P. Low,
who has for some years been working
nmong the Guans, happened to be at
Minna when the news came in. He
was hurrying down to the coast on his
way home, having only reached Minna
that day from hiB station at Kuta,
from which place the wounded doctor
had Bent his despatch. Mr. Low instantly volunteered to go to Kuta to
render any aid possible to the survivors, and also to used his influence
with the people. ThiB he did immediately.
Mr. Low spent 12 hours in Kuta,
and, having assured himself of the
loyalty of the townspeople, resumed
his journey to the coast. Picking up
a construction train on the way back,
he just caught his steamer, but was
nearly drowned in a native canoe
when going down the Niger. He met
the punitive force under Maj. Williams, consisting of 150 men, with a
Maxim, on its way to the scene of the
ambush. The ill-fated police, parly had
started from Kuta only a few hours
before it was attacked. In consisted
of Lieut. Vnnrenen, Capt. 8tone, a
doctor, a European sergeant, and .10
police. Accompanying the force was
the Chief of Gussoro. Its object was
to march to Gussoro, and there reinstate the chief, who, for his loyalty to
the British, had been compelled to
leave his town. For two months
previously it was reported that the
Guaris had been making poisoned arrows, and had declared that they
would oppose the return of the chief.
It was not thought that the people
would attack, but as a measure of
precaution, Maj. Williams' force had
been held in readiness at Kuta, in
case of trouble.
When the attack was made, however, the telegraph, line was down.
Lieut. Vanrenen had' only proceeded
for a few miles when he was completely overwhelmed by a force of
some 600 natives, who surrounded
the party in the thick bush. A deadly nre of poisoned arrows, at short
range, was poured upon the British,
Lieut. Vnnrenen being- at once killed,
hia body falling in the long grass. The
doctor was also wounded by poisoned
arrows, and 11 police were killed.
Whatever formation was possible was
attempted, but the heavy and well-
directed fire completely disorganized
the remainder of the police, who fled.
Capt Stone, with great gallantry, went
back to try and recover his chief's
body, but was unsuccessful, the -remains being subsequently found by
the punitive force and buried on the
spot. The surviving Europeans managed to find their way back to Kuta
by hiding in the bush in order to
avoid the enemy, who pursued them.
The punitive expedition had some stiff
fighting, but they inflicted severe punishment on the Guaris, and burnt
their town There were no losses on
the British side. The Gusoro chief
was at first reported killed, but he
succeeded in making good his escape.
fhe Western Way.
Henry W. Lucy, the famous English journalist, familiarly known as
"Toby, M.P.," under which name he
writes deliciously humorous Parliamentary comment for Punch, and who
was recently rewarded with a Knighthood, tells 'some rich stories indeed
in his recently published volume of
reminiscence*, "Sixty Years in the
Wilderness." He never had any connection with politics, except as a
commentator, but for forty years he
has always had inside knowledge of
everything transpiring or about to
transpire in the House, and he haa
known everybody worth knowing. He
writes in delightful anecdotal style of
all the famous men of his day.
He tells us a story of Lord Russell,
of Killowcn, who, while on his Canadian tour, congratulated a waiter in
Mnnitou on the healthiness of the
town.
"I guess it's pretty wal," replied
the waiter.
"When we built a school house nothing would do for some of the citizens
but they must have n cemetery. We
lnid it out nnd walled it in, but we
had to shoot a man to rturt it."
Malta's New Governor.
It is 32 years ngo since Lieut-General Sir Leslie Rundle, the new Governor and Commander-in-Chief at
Malta, joined the Royal Artillery.
Since then lie has seen much active
service, and proved himself every inch
a soldier, one ol his greatest admirers
being Lord Kitchener. Sir Leslie 's
a great stickler for the smaller details
of soldiery, and if he is not one of
those men whom people call by their
Christian names, he enjoys a respectful popularity. "There's no nonsense
about him," they say in the army,
"and although he sometimes rubs us
the wrong way, wo are well aware
that no commander knows his business better."
The Sjlmon Pack.
The total, sockeye salmon pack of
British Columhiu for this season is
estimated by dinners to be approximately 825.000 cases, made us, as follows: Fruser River, -120,000; Rivers In-
let, 85,000; Skeena River, 65,000; Naas,
M.000; Lowo Inlet, 14,000; others,
11,000.
On Puget Sound, the American
packers have 800,000 cases, according
to information received from an au-
Uiorit-tive souice.
0
WSat He Thought.
The old gentleman was not accustomed to having the new railway in
his town. Upon seeing a train approaching lie whipped up his horse
and tried to cross (he track in front
o! it. He nnd his horse came out
safely, but the wagon was bodly
broken.
When lie found that ho was not injured, he cnlled to the engineer,
"Why, I thought you sow me coming."
Traveled 458,545 Miles.
One of the Inst of the old stage
conch drivers, Henry Grimstead, has
died nt Helbeach, Iincolnshire, at the
age of 87. In the course of his work
aa coach driver, mail van driver and
letter currier ho covered 458.545 miles.
"Mauretania" is the atl-the-
year-round collar. Men who
wear it in summer for its
style and comfort, wear it alt
winter for the same reasons.
■  a for aso.
Meet every Oiler title Taokt Ct_u_
toom ant. inarm, montm**.
Agrttd With tht Court
A lawyer came into   court  drank,
when the judge said to him:
"Sir, I am sorry to see you in a
situation which is a disgrace to yourself and family and the profesalon to
which you belong!"
This reproof elicited the following
colloquy:
"Did your honor speak to me?"
"I did sir. I said, sir, that in my
opinion you disgraced yourself and
family, the court, arid the profession
by your course of conduct."
"May i—i—it please your honor. I
have been an attorney in—in—in this
c—court for fifteen years, and permit
me to say your honor, that this is tha
first correct opinion I ever knew you
to give."
Red, Weak, Weary, Watery Eyet
Relieved By Murine Eye Remedy,
Try Murine For Your Eye Troublea,
You Will Like Murine. It Soothes.
SOc At Your Druggists. Write For
Eye Books. Free. Murine Eye Remedy Co., Toronto.
"Halloa, Mrs. Lovejoy!" exclaimed
a gentleman of that lady's acquain
tance; "pray what brings you out so
early in the day?" "Oh, I've just
been tq the photographer's with my
net dog, Dido" (which she carried in
her arms), "and we have had dur por-
traits taken together, haven't we.
Dido? Beauty and the beast, you know,
Mr. Johnson"—with a saucy little
laugh. "And what a little beauty he
is, to be'sure I" replied Johnson inad.
vertently, as he tenderly stroked poor
Dido's head and pulled his ears.
And then he suddenly remembered,
and became hot and cold in turn.
ASK YOUR GROCER
For
"SfiLAM"
TEA
For quality and flavor it hat no
tqual.
Ltad packets only. At all Grocers.
MME IN CANADA
fcinr
PerfumeD
READY FOR USE IN ANY QUANTtTT
For making SOAP, seftenlat water, re.
moving old paint, duinfecllnt alalia,
clown and drain* ana) lor mnjir attest
pupow*. Ae>n«uuIe20IU.SelSeda,
Hold F.vervuthert,
E. W. CILLETT CO, LIU
■ Toronto, Oak a
WINNIPEG   BUSINESS   COLLEGE.
28th Year.
Individual Instruction.
Good Positions Await our Graduattt,
Write for Illustrated Cutalogue,
Address, The Secretary, Winnipeg
Business College, Corner Portage Ave,
and Fort St., Winnipeg, Man.
CROSS-EYES
Ud til tiff d.MMtM, 0_1_tfMi|
■ml mumi UsMlfM -tut*
mind without lit* Knit*, by
Dr. Carter's Absorption
method. Write for book
Franklin O.Carter.M.D.
Vtl Ht itht Nt., Cbnmt., III,
he Quality Mark
Recognized fat world aver    '
at Hie qialMy.muk et tin.
tsl itlmplitt, the nans
JflR0GERSBR0$:
covers a flat of failvei,
lorkf, spoons, etc, famous
for beauty tad durability.
•est lis ***>, aVitt*, «s!lm>
sit., sre slsmsed
MCRIPCN ■ RITiCO.
SOLO BV LBADIMO DBALISS
•Slher flan that Wtari' THE   REPORTER,   NEW   MICHEL,   BRITISH   COLOMBIA.
THE MICHEL REPORTER
NEW MICHEL, B. C
OBOaOI 0. MEWLS, - MANAQIKG-IDITOR
In and Around Town
17. !'■
Provincial elections on November 25.
A. J. McCool was in Fernie this week,
L. IV. Kribs of Blairmore was here on
Monday.
J. T. Armstrong made a flying trip to
Bpokane, the beginning of the week.
The Misses Dudley wero in Fernie' on
Thursday evening attending Mrs. Hurd's
ball.
J. T. Armstrong his taken the local
agency for .he Kootenay Kiver Land Co.
iif Baynes Lake.
Fulton and Tatlow huva resigned from
, the McBride government.-   It  will  take
Dicky all liis time" to hold, his own  job
now, without scheming to land in Laur-
ier's shoes.
The Coleman brass band has been engaged to play before and during the
great races at Coleman on Thanksgiving
Day. Excursion rates to Coleman from
all towns in the Pass js fare and a third-
. J. A. Tormey, delivered an illustrated
lecture in Cralian's hall on Wednesday
night, showing about a hundred views of
the Baynes Lake fruit lands. Quite a
number of our citizens are purchasing
tracts of land in this section.
J. Pickering is visiting his (fought"-
fer Mrs. J. S, Thompson.
. Jas. Douglas is off this week up
Wilson creek, for a hunt after big
game.
Don't forget. Brown's (Moving
jpictore show in Crahan _ hall on
Sunday night,
Dr. Weldon; late1 of Hosrrier, has
Bigned up with the miners' union,
and is now thd physician for the U.
M. W". of A. here.
I. A. Rhodes of Elk Prairie has
returned from a successful hunting
trip, bringing back three goats,
Emile Fristl gdt two:
The second National Apple Show
will be on at Spokane from Nov. 15
to 20. The fate over thfe Great
Northern will be $12.80 return;
The skating rink this season will
be in the same location as last, but
will be larger and more down-to-
date, and will open as soon as suitable ice forms. ,
A young son of W. Weaver, was
run over on Ttiesday by his fathers
milk wagon, the wagon being struck
by a G. N. engine and the horses
taking fright threw the boy out. He
ia progressing favorably.
■ Dr. Wilson'of Vancouver, who
arrived here some three weeks ago
to take oni Dr. McSorley's practise
must have received a "S. 0. S."
message, for he left suddenly dn the
flyer and the deal is off'.
R. J. McNeillie, chief .clerk to C.
E;\ Mcpherson, g-Jneral passenger agent, haa been appointed district passenger agent of the Ci'P. R.
for the Kootenay district, with
headquarters at Nelson.
Frahk Zfrick, Frank Hafrri'er and
game-warden l^ewis have, gone up
the Elk to the C. P. R. head-quarters, Chancy Smith having reported
.Indians in there aftergame, as well
as pinching supplies from the Northern Coal company!
. For Thanksgiving Day; October
25th,' the Canadian Pacific Railway Company announce a rate of
fare and one third fof the round
trip. Tickets will be on sale Octo-
.ber 22nd, to October 25th. >clu-
Hive, final return limit, October 27.
Outside contractors were brought
in to build the new lock-up, but it
wasn't si'tir.kotory and when im-
provemeulii were required, local
contractors got the job. It would
have been as we'll to have given the
job to local men in the first place
and had it done right.
HEWSON
PORE WOOL
UNDERWEAR
Look for the Oval Brand.
Guaranteed Unshrinkable.
Hewson Underwear is as
good as Hewson Tweeds,
Weber, New Miohel
Concert and Presentation
A moHt enjoyable time was spent last
Tuesday itijtht, and proved an unqualified siiccoss, in the way "t making a pir-t-
I'nliiti'jii to l)f."iii)d Mrs. McSorlC}', on
U'luilf of their many true friend* in Michel, before their departure from town.
At Ihe close of the concert; .Ionic* lien
nic, on behalf of those present, presented Mra. McSorley ■with a coso of nilvcr
,und pearl handled setof kniviH mid forks
and llr. McSorley wlt.li a purse cf gold.
' Dr. McSorley replying „„ behalf of Ins
wife ami himself, most heartily llmnkcd
his many friemlx foi their kindmw to.
wiirdc them during Iheir eight years ■ in
Michel, and showed his true;  riiiiriu-tr-r-
E'tlc, good spirit by nrntioning Hint lie
as ready to call ally person   in  Micm-i
IS friend and extend liis hand to   llm-
that bore enmity again-t him,
'   Tin--:-.-   l...n.i-   .    .
Country Editor vs. Millionaire
The editor of the Russell (Ky.)
Democrat is responsible for the following:—
• I'd rather be a country editor and
chase around for news, beford I'd be u
millionaire with wealth I could not use.
I'd rather be a tirinter with patches on
my breeches, than be a master of finance,
with all my thoughts on riches. I'd
rather eat my modest meal, digest the
same with ease, than sit down to a royal
feast with stomach-ache like John D.'b.
To romp and frolic with iriy kids around
our cheerful hearth, with their mother
for the audience to help enjoy thi mirth,
is better than to move about in high society, where dress and jewels fuls'e make
life a niockery. 'Tis true, the printer's
cash gets short and duns come in a hurry, but the happy fellow does not fret-
lie lets tiie dun tier worry. He always
has a conscience clear, a disposition sunny; lie knows that life has always joys
besides the chase for money. For the
moulder of opinion is a Happier man by
fur, than the man who owns a palace, a
yacht and a private car. And when he
goes to his reward, h'a knows that all ia
well, while the man who makes his
wealth His god nitty 6ome day  wake in
h-1;
One Cent a Word
Adrirttaemsfltt such aa For Sals, To Let, Lost
Fomo Wanted etc., inserted at the uniform
rata ot One Cent • Word Each Iniertion
FOR SALE
0NEJf°^IN NJ;W MJOHBL, SITUATED, LOT
Y''. Block ii. Price 1150.00. Easy terms. Ap
ply llaatian, Michel.
FOR   SALE   OR   TO   RENT
AN tfl'-TO-DATB BILLIAttD ANU l'OOL
-**- Room for stile on easy terms or lo rent to re-
sponsible pnrty.  Apply to J. Seiglo, Noiv Michel.
FARM   FOR   SALE
WITH HOUSE, BARNS, STAIII.I'X SIIKDS'
" fiirmlmr tools, 8 wagons, 4 horses, harness.
-IX) chickons. -Ill turkeys, 3 tons csrrnis.:! dm* nl
turnips, (inanlily of cnbbflgo ami i-verylhtiiir
arinini! my place. Now la the time tn buy. l-'ur
lei-ins enquire nl A, Vlasak, New Mlrliel
SUNDAY   SERVCIES
PEACE rtt LAST
Both Fernie  Editors  are  Away
The Nelson News df Thursday
says:—
G. H, Pedlarj Editor pf the ftrnie
Free Press, is a guest at the Huine.
W. S. Stauley, (edjtor of the Fernie
District .Ledger, reached the city by tlio
Crow steamer last evening and leaves
this morning for Rossland. .
Such is Fame
The Nelson News says:—"G. H.
Pedlar, of the Fernie District Ledger, reached the city last evening to
attend the assizes." When 0. H.
left Fernie he was editor oi the
Free Press.- When did the bicycle
repairer get fired ?
Marathon   Race
Probttbjy, the . greatest Marathon
race that ever took place in fhe Pass
will be rjin.on, Thanksgiving Dny
in Coleman. Amateurs all over the
provinces pf, AJberta ^mJ British
Columbia are training for the 12
mi(e race. Shorter races also will
bo run. Tickets can be bought at
the Reporter; ollice.
Successful Contractors
Tin: 15, V. Holding Co, havo received the contract for the erecliou
of the big hotel at Passburg, Alta.,
und loaves wjth n staff of workmen
for that place on Monday. TIub
hotel when completed, will contain
24 rooms, and f')'' be a model of
and up-to-date construction,
The good wflrk this firm Has turn
cd out here, has,been noted by oui-
sider.s, nnd in .consequence, their
servicos nro in demand all through
the Puss.
Dancing was indulged in   which w
!|il up till an rarlv In   i
delightfully entertained.
kept up till an early,hour ami all   «
lelli" "
Wlici) They Crucify the Rditor
A "one-gitllus" editor can "bust"
hi-i last gul Ins in praise of a town,
can Mack his soul exaggerating the
goo-l i|iialitic.i of.its citwonB, and no
Ihl    '-   're   nllornil     but,   let   that' VU'lHI'Irt licrcby hIvimi, iIui
.ii. .rB   unereu,    nui.   "-*-   win, l> iiini„„m,„i■<,,„ BlcM.ilVi
-i       h.l" follow publish some  tin-
' i nibs, and all the wrath
" falls on him.— Tilbit
METHODIST   CHURCH
MICHEL AND NEW MICHEL
SERVICES  EVERY  SUNDAY
NEW MICHEL,   Sunday school 2 p.m
Service 3 p.m., in the schoolhouse.
MICHEL, Sunday School, 2.30 p. k.
Evening service, at 7.30,    Band of
Hope every Monday at 7.30 p. m.
Rev. S. .. Chenoweth, M-. A., Pastor.
Thb pastor and officials extend a cordial
invitation to you to attend these services.
*W
ST. PAUL'S CHURCH
MICHEL,    B. C.
.Services—3rd Sunday  in   the   month,
Holy Communion, 11 a. in.
Evensong, 3.30 p.   m.
Sunday 8chool, 2.00 p. m.
A. Briant N. Ciwtlier, M. A., Vicar.
ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH
MICHEL, B. O.
Sunday!    Low Mass, 8 a. m.j High
Mass), 10.30 a. m.j Sunday School, 3
p. m.,| Vespers, 4 p. ml
Monday:   Moss, 8 a. in.
ROv. Fr. Meissner, Pastor
L. P. Eckstein D: E. McTaooaht
ECKSTEIN _ McTAQGART
Barristers, Solicitors Etc.
ECKSTEIN kuaDING, FERNIE, B.C
UNION
SECRETARIES
[f there is no Union Printing
Office in your town, send your
work to the Reporter Office,
New Michel, and have it done
by the nian who , Unionized
the First Printing Office in the
Pass, and have your jobs decorated with that
BADGE OF HONOR
-THE-
e.  YEARS'
EXPERIENCI
TrMo. Mann
_,    Duram
••:,'■  u, PowRiohTt** '
Anyone aenitlng a st olcti snd aeicrlptlotl mat
qnlcklr iiBc-crialii our opinion free whether a-
Inrsnllnn I* nrotiehlf prteiiuMe. Cummunloe,
llonsairlctlycraiOOoiitlal. HMtDBOOK on l-autUa
■ont Use, 0l<lo*l alienor for eocurlng patent*.
l'atonts taken t trough Munn a Co. reoelra
ifertaltKlKee, wlllwutoosruormtni
Scientific Umc^cait >
A uandsomoiy lllustrateil metlj. taruoat fllr-
nilaili.ii of nnjr ■dentlno Journal. Terms fot
|1       if f " '      f°"—' Urapalil.   Sola Df
Union Bakery
G. SOVRANO, Proprietor
OLD TOWN, -   -   - MICHEL
Fresh Bread Delivered Daily
Notice of Application  for  Renewal
of Liquor Lioenao
>Jiil')ni-: I*ii,-rni..v irlvr-n, ihiil I. Aloitn'ndbr 3>
" Mri'iiol, ol .Vpw Mk'li.'l. II. ('.. Illlcnil lo nu
ply lo tho 'iiiiiiThiii'iidi'iit ol I'mvliiclnl I'nllci-,
III till- i.X|illii'i,-;i nl i.iii-   niiiiil,   i.-,.,,,   tlio  lllllo
lioroot, fum ronowal of my romll ii.jiir,r Ilot-nse.
fur tlin liniliiNc-i kii.Mi'jliis Hi- Urent .Vortliiirn
ll.iliil.'JlllllituI nl Now Mloliol. II. V.
ALUXI.S'llHlt.l. SicCObt.
Plltoil nl Now Otloliol, il, I,'.. (Id. li, llHIil,
Noll- <• of Application for  Ronawal
of'Liquor Lli.ense
'. iii-oriro H
 Illll'llll to  nn.
lily lo tlio Supoiintpnilonl ol I'mvlnrlnl I'olloi'-
in'lie i-xiilnitlun of oni' inuiilli fnun tlio dnlo
li- t-dif. fnru ri'liowiil of my ri-lnll lliim.r Ilcotiso
fur tlio tiri'inlnos kliown nn (11*.- Kfniti'iioy Hotol
■llunti'ilnl Now Mlcliol.ll. U.
■"'' '   '      (UCOIluT II. SI'KUMAN.
iiiiinl tn'Now Mlcliol. It. (:. Oct. IB, IW*9,
-SHOES-
Conspicuous Shoes
A pair of shoes may be conspicuous Por either one of two reasons, because they look particularly bad or because they
look particularly good.   WALK-OVER Shoes
4
are in the latter class
from the first day they
are worn till the last day
That's but dfle reason
why you .should buy
them: there many other
reasons equally as good.
Find out at our store
sonje of thetu any other
reasons why the WALKOVER is the shoe for U
At tha Usual Price*
fr
WEBER, NEW MICHEL
i
Business Bririgers
Readlnr Notices Inserted under, thi* Heading
at the rate of Ten Cent* a Line, each Insertion.   No ada inserted amoncet Locale.
CJMOKE Crow's Nest Spcclnl and Eib».   Union
*-' Made Clgntg.
qHII'MNO Tnss, printed tn ordor, good tough
•^ atock, nt tho Reporter ofllce.
l?NVEt,OPKS.  Any Quantity, good Hock, well
■"-■ printed, at tlio Keporter ollice.
(STATEMENTS, Printed and  psddcd  as  you
^ want them, at the Reporter olllco.
Lots tor Sale all
0ver Blairmore
* ToWhsite;   :  c
by the bnly Rfeal Estate man in Blair-
mfif'-P'       lf Mi'retttu, writ* for pirtleiil'a--
4|iw_ c. 0ffle# 0|) M.|(| stnt,
A. McLeod, Blairmore
TETTER fiends. Plain nr Fmiey, Any .color
H ink. Printed m you likbtbem at tlio Kepor.
ter ofllce.
DU9INES9 Cards. Finest work tn the Pass.
L' Any._f7.ti nnd any color Ink you deiire. Printed at tho Roportor oflleo.
pRrNTINO Jnlt;. We fan decorato.yoi.r prlntitiB
1 jobs witli any color brshndo of the flncat inki
In the world. For fine color work send your
ordor.to the.Roportor.
Cbffins
In stock and made td order
$tXEX). Pomahac',
NEW MICHEL
J. J. SCOTT,
GENKUAI, BLACKSMITtt,
'     -i ' 1
Ilonealiiicinit a Sjiecinlty
NEW MICHEL
Cheap Rates
Fast Time
First Class Cars
To England
Hungary
and Italy
Great Northern
Railway
Souvenii* China
boiisistiri'g of
Plates, Cupis and Saucers, Five o'clock Tea Sets, Vases Eitc., Con-
taining: Views of Michel.
These goods are direct from tlio manufacturers and the  mid-
dleinans profit is cut out.
SOMERTON BRO'S
Jewelers, Opticians, Photdgraphers
NEW MICHEL
AND   ORDERS   FOR
Fine Art. Priiitini
To tide Reporter Office

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