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Michel Reporter Jul 17, 1909

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Array </,l. c-fifr<* 9$
VOL. 1.
NEW'M|0HEL, BRITISHTOEUMBIA, SATURDAY,' JULY 17, 1909.
NO; 42-^
T. Ct$J!-$n.,'    f.    J    |     Proprietor
The Largest, Most Modern
and Best Equipped in the Pass.
Michel, ij British Columbia
Our Assortment is Complete, and includes all
Medicated Soaps, as 'well 'as sucti weft-known
Makes as ROGER & OAKLET'S, FINAVP'S,
COLGATE'S, TAYl-OR'S, ARMOUR'S,■'■•'GOS-
NELL'S, Etc., Etc."-  -•   ■    -■   .  '    ;*N   '■   '
We
For Hard Water
Recammond Goshell's E£m. de Cplpgn
For Removing Grease Stains
Etc, Nothing'caii be CpmRnred with
'.'.'..    i.  .        '' i'"l      'i    '   .'('•      •.V.lll
"Snap"
KENNEDY'S
DRUG AND BOOK
NEW   ifolCHEL
V A Good Gams
Fernie and Michel Played, a Friendly Game on Tuesday
The baseball match between Fernie and Michel on the
Recreation Grounds on Tuesday last,, was one (X the best
played garniis witnessed in'Michel. Both nines wore in
first class shape aiid played the game as it should bo. flayed,
and those who attended the match were well pleasa\l at the
excellent ttipiiier in which the umpire, J. Carney; gave liis
decisions;. The 'score; wa's 0 to 1 in favor of Fernie, 0."' Estabrook making the only •scpVe' for ;Miehel.' The Pernio boys
made, the. following runs:'• Mills' 1, Henderson '•?, McDonald
1, McMillan'land Wfllters l.':     .-    <    'VA V. i,i, 7v;.'\,..
The rtestilt by innings Was:
7'  V? 1 V, 3" 4   5()789
Fernie. 2'  2   0   § -0' 0   0   0 ' 2'  '■■
Michel   0   6   0   0   0   0   0   1   tf
Thb teams' line-ups were as follows: ''
'     FER'NIK '    7  ' '•  ' •;
Imperial Bank of Canada
Hfead Ofti^! TORONTO
Capital Authorised $10,000,000.
Capital Paid up $5; 00'0,000.'   ' " ' ' Resi'ifS,000,000
pavings Bank Department.
Interest allowed on Deposits at Current Rate
from Date 'of Deposit.  '
1 h'afts, Money Ordors and Letters of Credit is-iued, available
in any part of t-hp World. ''
MICHEL BRANCH,' t. B. BAKER, Manager.
41 Meat market IM *41
High-class Butchers
Ne\y Michel
• All moat fresh killed—Primp Beef, Pork, and Mutton
Dairy Butter.'   Mild-cured Hams'and Bacbn-"--Fish
in Season
Tiie Store. Where They Spnd What You  Order
2    Deliveries   Daily    2
K&g's Kandy Kitchen
Ice Cream.   High Class Fruit, Nuts, Tobacco, Cigars.
Chocolates and Confectionery, ,
NEW MICHEL
. Call at the Crow's Nest Hardware
Co,; and see their extensive display,
j-4 What you don't see, ask for,
Bamboo Fishing Rods, Your Choice for Iii cents
I Right Prices,  Right Goods and
Right Treatment.
The Model Bakery
NOW OPEN!
Day
Bread, Cakes, Pics, Buns, Etc.   Fresh Every
Driver will call for orders and deliver
The Model Bakery New Michel
Fine Art Printing
At the Reporter Office
Mills, rf
Henderson, If
McDonhld, 2t>
Hjc]ts, ss    ''
Hall, pf
Mcpou'gal, o
Spilrnan, 3b
McMillan, lb
Walters, p    '
MICHEL
B, Smith, if 7
Lauselle, 2b ■
Spence, ^*b ■
jit. Estabrook, p
C. Estabrook, cf'
Christmas, 8b  f
Lausellp, ss '■'. ■
Woods, o
B. Estabrook, li.
_l m L
Football
Tiie greatest jpolball fc-ame ever played
ki trunk and whicji is (fecliltea by foot-
bnll men the greatest ever played [n' the
Pass, was that of Saturday last hi which
Frank took the league leaders into camp
by a score of il to 0. ; Tiie game was
played with marvellous skill by''both
Michel unit -Frank', Wit the greater skill
wan ou the side of the home team, with
the result that while Michel'made numerous attempts' to score that were, both
thrilling and beautifill to belioi'd, the
visitors could ndt quite connect, while'
the home tpam was able to reach the
Michel Hugs for three gou\s. '
Features of the play were the magnificent comfiiua'tidh of the Trunk' torward
line, the spectacular defensive play of
Mctletcliie, and the stone wall impregna-
liilitj' of the Frank goal keeper, who iii
one instance actually brok'd the goal bar
in jumping to stop a kick. "But these
were liut features, the work of 'the home
team was' of the utmost superiority
throughout.
The result is most gratifying from
many view points. First, '.it puts Frank
in striking disfanco of the championship
and obviates the cinch which would have
been Michel's could the visitors! have
won. Then it is gratifiying from the
point that it is the first defeat Mlohel
has sustained, anil again, it indicates
that the team that has more points at
the end of the league, series than Frank
will certainly carry off the bunting.
Frank has yot sis games to play.
They arp, one each against Coal Creek,
Bellevue, Fernie; Hosmer, and two
against Coleman. After so signal a
defeat of the leaders who have hitherto
made a runaway race, it would scorn
that Frank, if nothing happens to weaken the team, can scarcely fail of coming
very close to winning the championship,
when all the remaining games are against
teams, no one of which has been able to
defeat the leaders thus far. Some football fans think there is nothing to il
now but Frank.
Frank's next game is against
Creek Saturday at Coal Creek.
Rat Miller's Chicago Trip!    "
f/it Miller'adysrtised a dance for
Wednesday niglit*,':but owing to his
failure to complete 'arrangements
the dance did n'ot'Tnateiialize. He
however gavp the boys the time, of
their life with liis ragtime selections
and songs at the Great' Northern
Hotel: Pat has left'Forme on a
bet of $400 to get to Chicago jn four
•months, starting from Fernie with
only onp dollar. This dollar is
markpd, and'rinist be produced nt
the eiid pf tho journey. He -has to
play his way; and' eiirn Bnciuglt pn
route to defray expenses.'      fti1 '
Coal
New Bajiery
The Model Bakery will be open and
rgodjf'for fiusitiess on Monday." They
\vili supply breai.1, buna, cafes and pit's,
frcs-ii every dayV Orders called for an*x*
dc|iv"iv,d. They will occupy the premises
on Pacific Ave., around the corner'from
Wright Bros.'storp. *'
TO  OUR   CUSTOMERS
Printed matter is chiefly labor, not
merchandise. It, js paid for in wages in
advance of its completion by the printer.
The eleinont of risk in its production lies
in tho'filet that it is useless for any other
person than those for whom it is primarily intended. For these reasons a
prompt'settlement of all hills, as soon as
job is' delivered',' is a'consistent request
which -/our sjiirit of fairness will erincede
as a demand worthy of bur insistence.
Fulfilling Instructions,
The managing editor wheeled his chair
around and pushed; a button in the wall.
The person wanted entered. "Here,'
said the editor, " are a number of directions from outsiders as to the best way
to run a newspaper.^ See that they are
all carried out."
And thp office boy, gathering them
into a large waste basket, did so.
Qreat Northern
HOTEL
NEW MICHEL, B.C.
EVERYTHING   FIRST-CLASS
Cuisine L'nuurpatiee)
3ar Stocked with th* Finett
Att»nd*tnce Untntlltjil
McCool & Moore,   [*.   Proprietors
HOTEL   KOOTENAY
New Michel, P. C.
Laurenson &. Douglas     - -      Proprietors
BATES $2.00 A DAY
|iveiything First-Class and Comfortable
Nothing but white labor employed
FREE BUS. MEETS ALL TRAINS
"EIK Valley Beer"
Pure and
Pleasing;
Manufactured from
Ct.a'adinn Malt,
'    Bohemian Hops
and thp now Famous
Crystal Spring Water
p(k Valley Brewing Co., Limited
Livery, Feed and Transfer
Bus service, five trips daily between the -
C. P. $. Station' and the Kootenay' ftotel
Fare, Round Trip. ,'...'.,...., •	
Single'|-a'fe ,.'.	
GEO. FISHER, Proprietor
The Frank football team got
trimmed by Coal Creek at Hint
place Saturday by a score of •-'-().
The game was even till two-thirds
finished with no score. Then it
rained nnd play had to wail, but
tbe team got wet and had togo back
in theu; wet suits, while Coal Creek
dunned di*y logs. Thereafter the
Frank boys seemed to play jusl as
tbey lnuat have felt and—well Ibey
got skinned.
The same day Michel defeated
Hosinei'4-0.
Following is tl
e standing
ol Ihe
to date:
Teams
Won Lost
Draw 1'
Miehel
7      1
1
Fernie
::     I
• i
Coal Creek
-1    (I
•>
Frank
11      2
.)
Bellevue
i      5
1
Colcmao
i      4
1
Hosmer
(I      ■")
0
—Frank 1'aper.
Geo. Robinson, agent ol the Manitoba
Government telephones at Ninga, has
been informed that his sen-ires are no
longer reiiuired. Mr. Robinson has
been nominated ns Liberal candidate for
Killarnoy, ami it is contrary to the policy of the Rohlin Government to maintain an active Grit politician on its pay-
I roll. The folly of nourishing enemies
while friends are in need h a characteristic found only in Liberal Governments,
—Xeepewa Press.
The fact thai the father uf the Wrighl
brothers, the aeroplane experts, is a
bishop.may ti'inl to explain why they
excel as sky pilots.—Ottawa Citizen.
We will send this paper to any
address in tlio world for two dollars
Let ns send a paper home for you
every week. It will save you writing a letter, and will tell them lots
of things you'll forget to mention
when you do writo. Wo will be in
tbe ollice until !) to-night to write
you a receipt.
What about tho Rtaealion
Ground tbat the Athletic Association were boosting a few weeks ago.
Has the enthusiasm all oozed nut ?
A man stopping his paper wrote:
"dear editor: I think folks ottend to
spend their miiiiny for paper, my daddy
didant and everybody said he was the
inlcllijents man in the country, and had
the smartest family of hoys Hint ever
dugged taters."
SLICK UP
Get Your Hirsute Appendage Clipped and Your
Whiskers Pushed in at the Great Northern Tonsor-
ial Parlors—You're next.
P. M. MacLanders, Prop
E. V. Holding Co.,
Builders and Contractors
Repairs and alterations promptly attended to.
Estimates cheerfully given	
New Michel
COLDSTORAGE
One of the Sights of the Town
Meat direct from car tn cold storage
No handling.   No dirty railway platforms.
New plant in running order.    11 is worth your while to
come in and see it.    Evervone welcome.
P. BURNS & Co.
LIMITED
WHOLIiSALl!   AND   RETAIL
LUMBER YARD
All Kinds of Lumber, Mouldings, etc.—Fancy  Windows,   Poorfl and
Verandah Posts in Stock and to Order.
Fernie Lumber Co., Ltd.   •-•  New m^i THE   REPORTER,   NEW   MICHEL,   BRITISH   COLUMBIA.
EL DORADO OF THE AMAZON.
MY LUCKY DAY
Mr. Thomas Wylle (Box 384), Gelt,
says:—"It was th; luckiest day of my life
when I struck PSYCHINE, for I truly believe I shouldn't be alive now but for dm.
"A neglected cold wm Ihe beginning
of m/ trouble, and whit se.mcd to be >
simple ailment, soon developed Into s serious and dangerous condition. I got so low
ibat it wis scarcely possible for me to walk
•round, snd 1 lost so much flesh that I
looked like s skeleton. I wss just about
ready to 'hand In my checks,' although
only 20 years of age. The medicine the
doctor gave me nude me worse and I got
disgusted.   Then I struck PSYCHINE."
'•PSYCHINE did miracles for me. The
first bottle gsve me new Hie and cour ge,
snd in less tban no time I began to put on
lleshrapidly.andlfeltlwasonthehighroad
to recovery. My appetite returned, and i
'ate like a hunter, as Ihe saying goes.
My friends were surprised, and hardly
knew me. In three months I was as strong
ind well ss ever, and returned to work In
the mill. I hsve not had a day's illness
since. Nobody could wish for better health
than I enjoy, and it Is all owing to PSYCHINE it should be in everybody's i
binds." I
Foi Con-flu, Colds. Lei. ot Appetite. ■
Throat. Lung and Stomach Trouble,
take Pijrchine. Druggists and Stores
sell at SOc and $1.00. Send to DR. T.
A- SLOCUM, Limited, Spadina Avenue,
Toronto, for a TRIAL FREE.
I sJfciP'ffi'Si. SsbIvI
■"Cf^o<«fijaiaL«ffiSEE!niMiaSii
His  Bluff Called
"Scuse me, ma'am," snid the husky
hobo, "hut I'm hungry emuff t' eat a
ruw dog."
"Well," replied the woman on the
hack porch, "just wait here a second
and I'll cali one up for you."
But the h. h. was trying to beat his
own getaway record down the pike.
Minard's Liniment, Lumberman's
Friend.
, A New York woman hit her husband
with a flntirdn for noting exception to
her statement that Portugal is in
South America. He was a fool. If a
man's wife sayB that Portugal is in
South America it is.—Richmond
Times Dispatch.
"Isn't it a shame to keep those poor
lions caged." "Lady," answered the
keeper at the zoo, "they're much happier and safer there thnn they wouid
be roaming the African jungles."—
Washington Star.
For Women's
Needs
Every woman should fortify herself
against those weaknesses and derangements which are usually present at times when Nature makes
extra demands upon the system.
For women's special ailments
there is no known remedy so safe
and reliable as
These pills possess corrective and
tonic properties which have a marked
effect upon the general health and
promptly relieve nervousness, sick
headache, depression, backache,
weakness and other unpleasant
symptoms. Beccham's Pills establish healthy conditions and furnish
Help at the
Right Time
Streams From the Andes Bring Down
Golden Sands.
Not more than two or three hundred
miles away from tbe crest of the Andes the foothills cease aud the edge of
the great Amazon plain Is reached,
stretching thence some 3.000 miles
nway eastward to tbe Atlantic seaboard. For the most part the forest Is
relatively healthy, but there arc fever
apots well known to the river Indians
and carefully avoided. Among the
foothills, except at such fever spots,
the climate Is good and the temperature not too high.
Here It Is that a great future awaits
the colonies of a coining day. for the
foothill region Is one of tbe richest In
the world. Everything that grows
there grows to perfection. The coffee,
the sugar, the cocoa, the bananas—all
are the very best. Moreover, here Is
situated one of the great remaining
gold fields, practically unworked since
the (lays of the lncas. All the streams
lhat flow from the Cordillera Ileal of
Peru and Bolivia bring down golden
sands of astonishing richness. Prospectors that have visited them unite
in describing these river gravels as of
unequnled wealth.
Over au area several hundred miles
long and about a hundred miles wide
there Is any quantity of gold awaiting
exploitation. It would bave been exploited long ngo but for tbe difficulty
of access. Poor men cannot go there
and work on their own account for
Inck of food. The forest must be cleared and the ground planted before that
can be produced. For exploitation on
a larger scale machinery Is needed.
and to carry machinery over the two
parallel ranges of the steep hillsides
nnd precipitous gorges, where there
are no roads. Is no easy matter. Still,
the day will come and is, indeed, now
close at hand when these difficulties
will be tackled nud overcouie.—Travel
Magazine.
Tailor Who Looked Like the Kaiser.
The Gerniau emperor is In the peculiar predicament of having no less than
two doubles. One, a certain Herr
.Mtsclie. follows the humble and prosaic calling of a chimney sweep. A
year or two ago when the emperor was
staying at a small German watering
place, so the story goes, a tailor of the
locality, suddenly waklug up to the
fact that he was rather like Ills majesty, had his mustache trimmed accordingly, copied the style of dress as
nearly us possible and boldly sallied
forth Into the town. His reception
even exceeded Ills own expectations,
but the Incident got to the ears of the
authorities. Next day tbe ambitious
tailor received a visit from n police officer with a peremptory recommendation to alter his appearance or else
leave the town. He chose the latter
course.—Loudon M. A. P.
Puzzling Canadian Time
A traveler nt the Union depot wns
looking up some Canadian connections.
"You connect with n train leaving nt
13:20 o'clock and arriving at your destination nt 22:10." O. E. Barbre, the
information dispenser, snid.
"Whnt In thunder nre you talking
about':" tbe traveler demanded.
Tben Barbre had to explain tbat several ot tbe Cauadlau railroads use the
twenty-four hour system of time, usltig
clocks wltb ligures beginning at midnight nud counting tbe hours straight
through to midnight again. The train
tbe traveler desired to take left his
connecting station nt 1:20 o'clock lu
the afternoon uud arrived nt the destination nt 10:10 o'clock that nigbt.-
Kansus City Star.
Tall Men In Tall Hati.
A man who walked dowu Broadway
below Fourteenth street lu the middle
ot tbe afternoon ou a business day
came to the conclusion tbat few men
In New York now wear silk hats. In
business hours anyway, lu the course
ot ten blocks, along wblch he met hundreds nf thousands of men, he encountered only three wearing high
bats, and of these two were men of
more than fifty, nnd both were tall
and slender, while the other, though
under forty years of age, was like the
other two In altitude, and he approximated them in slenderuess—three tall,
slim men wearing tall, slim hats,
end these the otlly men met wearing
sill; linis In ten blocks of Broadway.—
Washington Post.
Sold Evcrvwhtrs.
la Bozm as cents*
An Accomplished Monkey,
One of the most singular captures
ever effected by the Paris police was
made recently when they arrested nn
acrobat named Miguel Andrnvnl, who
is attached to a traveling circus playing near Paris. In a large establishment
the mun requested to he shown some
jewelry. While he was examining It
tbe detectives observed the head of a
liny monkey emerge from Androvnl's
coat pocket. Then the monkey's paw
shot out. and while the salesman's attention was diverted the animal seized
several valuable rings and withdrew
to Its hiding place. Tests made after
the arrest proved the monkey to be nn
trcompllslicd pickpocket nud shoplift-
er,
"Mauretania" is the all-the-
year-round collar. Men who
wear it in summer for its
style and comfort, wear it all
winter for the same reasons.
a    FOR    SOo.
Most every dealer sells Tooke Collate,
ioom aaoa, limited, HONtatuL
Wearing Pajamas.
! "You Americans don't seem to have
"nriind how to wear pajamas yet,"
fhlil a Jap. "I hnve never known an
American to wear tlieui the wny every
Japanese does. We always roll up the
trousers to the knee when we Bleep in
j the things. They nre vastly more comfortable that way." J
Good Neighbors,
Nodd-You llvo next to a burying
ground, don't you?   How do you like
It?
; Todd-Very much. Good neighbors.
' Quiet nnd peaceable. Never running
I In unexpectedly.        t .
AN  INDIAN  MURDERER.
HALF THB TOIL
of household work Is taken
away when Sunlight Soap Is
brough' Into the home.
For th roughly cleansing
floors, -metal-work, walls
and woodwork, Sunlight
Is the most economical both
In time and money. ,,,
From  Her Viewpoint
Stout lady'in thentre, to youth who
has a«ked her to remove her hat)—
Sit still. "*'*■<* play isn't fit for a boy
like you to see."
**************************
* *
* KEEPING CHILDREN WELL. *
*                           . *
* Every mother should be able *
* to recognize and cure the minor *
* ills that attack tier little ones. *
* Promnt action may prevent ser- *
* ious illness—perhaps save a lit- *
* tie life.   A simple, sate remedy *
* in the home is therefore a ne- *
* cessity, and  for this purpose *
* there is nothing else so good *
* as Baby's Own Tablets.    They *
* promptly cure all stomach and +
* bowel troubles, destroy worms, *
* break up colds, mnke teething *
* easy and k"ep children healthy *
* nnd cheerful.    Mrs. Jos. Leves- *
* que, Casselman, Ont., says:—"I *
* have used Baby's Own Tablets *
* and have always found them *
* satisfactory.     My   child    has *
* grown snlendidly and is always #
* good nntured since I began us- *
* ing this medicine."    Sold by *
* medicine dealers or by- mail at *
* 25 cents a box from The Dr. *
* Williams' Medicine Co., Brock- *
* ville, Ont. *
* * *
**************************
Death docs not end all; the doctor's
bill invariably survives. — Dallas
News.
Minard's Liniment used by Phys!
clans.
A man doesn't always go in the
right direction when he follows his
inclination.
They Cleanse While They Cure.—
Tho vegetable compounds of which
Parmelee's Vegetable Pills nre composed, mainly dandelion and mandrake, clear the stomach and intestines ol deleterious matter and restore
the deranged organs to healthful
action. Hence they are the best remedy for indigestion available to-day.
A trinl of them will establish the truth
of this assertion and do more to convince the ailing than anvthing that
can be written of these pills.
A Promising Apprentice
Carpenter—Now, I told you this
morning to grind all the tools during
my absence.   Got 'em nil done?
Apprentice—All but the saw, sir. I
haven't finished that yet.
Carpenter—How's that?
Apprentice—Haven't got all the
gaps out of it yet, sir.
Pills of Attested Value.—Parmelee's
Vegetable Pills are the result of care.
ful study of the properties of certain
roots and herbs, and the action of
sucli as sedatives and laxatives on the
digestive apparatus. The success the
compounders have met with attests
the value of their work. These pills
have been recognized for many years
as the best cleansers of the system that
enn he got. Their excellence was io-
cognized from tb» first and they grow
more popular daily.
wHEinarTY~siNGS.
When Kitty sings, by Jinn,
'Tie then the welkin rings!
I've never heard It ring, but well I know
Twould ring It Kitty's voice had halt a
Show.
When Kitty sings, by Jocks,
The very woods and rocka
The Bounds prolong
And add wild ellln echoea to her songt
When Kitty alnga the lark
Stops singing In the park.
Full well he knowa no one would hear or
care
For hlm when Kltty'a voice Is ringing
there
When Kitty alnga, yon know,
Even the atately crow
Forbears to caw-
Just from respect, the rogue, for harmony's lawl
When Kitty sings I swear
And sink down in despair,
For when her voice my heartstrings smite
I alt entranced; 1 cannot write.
I soircilnica wish ahe'd stop,
But hint 1 dare not drop
For fear she'll go—
For Kitty Is our cook, you knowl
-Will S. Oidley In New Vork Time*
Luminous Idea.
"Grlgshy," snys the friend, "I'll be
hanged If 1 enn see how It Is you always get the best there Is to eat In every restaurant you patronise, nnd yet
you never tip the wallers a cent."
"I've got the greatest scheme on
earth," says Orlgsby proudly.
"What Is It?"
"If you'll promise not to give It
nway," replies Grlgshy, "I don't tnlnd
telling you that when 1 give my order
I pretend to be the owner of a rival
restaurant."—Chicago Post
W. N. U., No. 74).
His Fearful Punishment by a Primitive
Mexican Tribe.
Speaking of primitive law among
tbe Mexican Indiana brings to mind a
curious case that was told me some
years ago tn the state of Oaxaca by an
old Zapoteca chief wbo bad become a
convert to Christianity.
He said that' a long while ago an
American botanist was traveling
through tbe mountains of Oaxaca
studying tbe rare and beautiful flora
of tbat region. He bad with him a
mozo from another part of tbe country.
He- carried several gold pieces Bewed
in the lining of bis jacket. The mozo
became aware of that fact, and one
day when tbe botanist got down ou hla
knees to drink at n little spring tbe
mozo cut his head off with a machete,
took tbe gold pieces and fled to tbe
higher sierras.
Not long after the body was found
by some Zapoteca Indians wbo had
seen the botanist In former days
studying the flowers and plants near
their vlllaue. They knew thnt be was
a harmless nnd good man because be
loved flowers. All Mexican Indians
love flowers. So tbey took the body to
the chief and told blm wbat they had
seen and found. "What!" be said.
"Shall the kind stranger with the
white face who lov»d flowers and
sought not our goods nor insulted our
women come to such a dog's death
among us and not be avenged?"
He tben dispatched four swift Indian runners in different directions
wltb orders not to return without the
murderer. After n week's time tbey
returned henring the malefactor bound
in their midst. A council of old men
wns called, and the case was examined. The guilt of the mozo was proved, as he still had with blm the strange
pieces or gold.
Then the old chief gave the sentence. It was speedily performed.
They led the trembling murderer to
the center of tho little plaza. There
four green stakes were driven In tbe
ground. The murderer was stripped
naked and stretched by tbe wrists and
feet In the nlr among tbe four stakes,
to wblch he was lashed. Then the Indians made a grent heap of unslaked
lime under tbe wretched man's body,
nnd when the heap touched bis breast
nnd sides they poured water over It
until the scalding steam of the burning lime had cooked all the flesh from
the bones. Then they took the bones
nnd threw them into a bole on the
mountain side.
And so was the stain of the murdered man's blood covered and vengeance wns wrought by the Indians In
behalf of "the white stranger who was
good and loved flowers."
Very Grand Opera.
During the grand opera season, Covent Garden, London, iB the most expensive theatre in the world. There
is, oi course, the half-crown gallery,
but the rest oi the house is charged
for at rates that are clearly intended
for the very rich, especially as boxes
and seats are let ior the entire season.
A box at Covent Garden costs from
$1,250 to $2,500 ior the season, the
price varying according to the number of performances per week it is
taken for. For a single night the
charge is $42 to $12.50, but these are
practically unprocurable on the best
nights of the season. It is the custom for the leaders of society to book
up all the boxes, and most of the
stalls, for the whole of the period
during which opera is being performed, aud when they are not able to be
there they lend their boxes to their
poorer relations.
Railways and Real Estate.
All over the West, writes the Winnipeg correspondent of The Standard
of Empire, there is a distinct move-
men' in real estate. With the increased railway facilities over last
year an enormous amount of development is promised. The news from the
West tells of towns springing up all
along the new lines oi railways. In
nearly every town there are at least
a dozen new business buildings in
course of erection, and large sums
are being spent throughout on improvements. The land along the
Grand Trunk Pacific line is filling in
rapidly, and the great influx of settlers is performing miracles in the
small villages, which are taking on
the appearance of towns with amazing rapidity.
Zam-Buk Cures Sunburn
Don't have your vacation spoiled by
the pain of sunburn; and don't have
your skin permanently freckled from
the same cause.
Zam-Buk contains herbal extracts
and juices which not only ease the
pain of sunburn, but prevent unpleasant results from it. Zam-Buk applied
to a bad burn gives speedy ease. It
also soothes blisters, aching feet,
chafed places, insect stings, etc. See
that you take it with you to the country!
Mothers should know thi.i for baby's
chafed places it is better than powder.
Also for hent rashes, eczema, prairie
itch, etc. Sufferers from piles will
find it indispensable. All druggists
and stores.
Within a circle of sixty miles in
diameter, with its centre in New York.
there are more telephones than in all
Great Britain.
Mothers can easily know when their
children are troubled with worms, nnd
they lose no tim« In applying the best
of remedies—Mother Graves' Worm
Exterminator.
Weary—Wotchda fishin' fer?
Willie—I like it.
Weary—Chee! Dat looks like work
to me.
Willie—It ain't. Dere ain't no fish
in dis crick an' I don't hafter pull 'em
out.—Cleveland Leader.
Hope.
"Bave you seen the account In this
morning's papers nbout Dr. Cutting
having brought a dead man back to
life?"
"No.   Did he do that?"
"Yes. It was a wonderful demonstration of his skill."
"Well, 1 shall be more hopeful now
than I hnve been for some time. If he
can bring tbe dead back to life he may
be able to bring back the book be borrowed from me about two years ago."
—Chicago Record-Herald.
THE FINEST TEA
The
World Produces
"MUM1
Sold only in sealed
lead packets
At all Grocers.
I!
SCHOOL OF MINING
A COLLEGE OF
APPLIED SCIENCE
Affiliated to Queen's University
KINGSTON, ONT.
Fnr  Calendar apply  to the  Secretary.
THB   FOLLOWINO COURSES AHE OFFERED
I.    POUR YE A US' COl'USE FOR .
ORGIIEH Of B.Sc.
■1.    TI1I1UU VKA11S' COIIHSB Foil
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a. Mining Eunio?ertiiK.
li. rtn-mlMtry  unit   Mlneraluvj,
e. Mlni-raloKs* anil ('oiiIukj.
d. Chrln'cnl EnKlnf-rrlDis-.
«*. Civil HnKlDvi-rlliK.
f. Mfi'linnlrnl Kntclnr-rritiK.
K. l-'lr-rtrlcal Eniclnrt-rlnic.
h. IHolnK7 end 1'iihllo llrallb.
I. Puwer   Drt-rlnr»nii>ut.
Art In Selling Hats.
"It makes you look small," says the
saleslady to the big woman who is
trying on the hat. Sold.
"It makes you look plump," she says
to the slender womnn. Sold,
"It makes you look young," she snvs
to the obviously middle aged woman,
Sold.
"It makes yon look tall," sbe says to
the short woman. Sold.
"It makes you look short," she says
to the tall woman. Snid.
"It brightens yonr face," she says to
the dark woman. Sold.
"It brings out your color," she says
to the pale woman. Sold.
And all the hats were alike.
Waiting Her Choice.
"Bnt," pleads the ardent young millionaire, who bas secured the license
to marry the beautiful chorus girl,
"wby should we postpone our marriage for two weeks? We can Just as
well run around to the minister, have
tbe ceremony performed and start on
our honey"—
"It looks all right from where you
sit," she interrupts him. "Bnt t
wouldn't even get a look tn for press
notices if I got married this week
while all those grand opera stars are
taking up tbe space. Pet. tbe best
wedding notice we'd get would be a
line In the vital statistics."
SEND FULL DESCRIPTION
Of Your Farm, Whether Improved or Raw
Land.   I CAN SELL IT FOR YOU.
I have customers from all over the East and from the United States
wishing to buy from 160 up to 10,000 Acres of Ranch, Mixed Farming
and Wheat Lands.
Send full particulars, lowest    price and terms
WILLIAM A. L0WRY
Leading Farm Lands Agent
807 FIRST STREET EAST CALGARY, ALBERTA
See the Miniature Farm in my Office during Provincial Fair
Caught Bending.
Professor Cube Root's class of geometrical geniuses were receiving Instructions. They were flrst taught that
a circle was a thing like thls-O. They
then learned that a straight line was
one without wabbles in It, so .
"Now, boys," said Professor Root,
"can any of yon describe to me wbat
a half circle Is like?"
Up shot half a dozen grasping bnnds,
"Well, Teddy," said Professor Knot,
"let's hear your definition of u half
circle flrst"
"Please, sir," answered Teddy, "It's
s straight line caught bending."-Lon-
don Express.
Knew.He Waa Safe.
"Ton seem to be going bome in a
very cheerful manner for a man wbo
has been out all nlgbt."
"Yes. You see, my wife Is an amateur elocutionist, and she's snvlng her
voice fbr an entertainment tomorrow
night."
Aa He Remembered It,
"Shndholt. did you ever hnve a touch
of anything like tbe appendicitis?"
"Once. Have you forgotten. Din-
guss, thnt when you were operated on
for it you touched me for an even hundred ?"—Chicago Tribune.
offer you more of
Better Toilet Tissue for the Same
Money than any
Other Make on the Market.
Made In Every Known   Form   and   Variety.
and Every Sheet Guaranteed  Chemically Pure.
Always Everywhere in Canada Ask For EDDY'S HATCHES
Not Hia Fault.
Mndnme —Whnt do you mean hy
coming home nt 8 In the morning?
Monsieur—1 ash-shnre yon, m'dear, Iss
not my fanlt The cafe has only jess
Shut up.-IIIustrated Bits,
To commonplace people tha eitraor.
■Unary .seams Impoaalble.-pa Rata
SHOE POLISH
BRIGHT AND INSTANTANEOUS
One application—two rubs—and
your shoes are shined for three days.
"2 in i" softens the leather-
keeps out moisture—won't stain the
clothes—and emancipates you from bottles,
mops, brushes and hard
work; No substitute
even half as good.
2
10c. and 25c. Tins
tJUPI THE   REPORTER,   NEW   MICHEL,   BRITISH   COLUMBIA.
The Return
Of Gypsy.,
By ADDISON HOWARD
GIBSON.
Copyrighted.    1909,   by    Associated
Literary Press.
In the amethystine baze of an April
morning on tbe Arizona foothills the
cowboys of Circle H wheeled their
bronchos Into the gray dust of the
trail.
Tbere was a wild Jangle of spurs, a
clatter of restive hoofs, and tbey were
off like one of tbe brown whirlwinds
of their own desert to meet (iypsy and
"the boss," who were coming to the
ranch to spend a week.    .
Tbey had decisively hurled "Arios,
iflyne!" at the bronzed young foreman
as be leaned against the corral gate.
They could not understand wby be hnd
persistently refused to Join their reception committee.
It really was not the coming of Her-
lngton, "the boss," thnt was calling
forth the unusual demonstration, but
the return of Gypsy, tbelr little comrade of the rnuge, whom tbey had not
seen for four years, it never entered
their simple beads that two years of
school In France, followed by two
more of travel and society, migbt
have changed their merry, fun loving
little pet i
Sbe waa coming back as she had
promised—that was the dominant consideration—and off they went, whooping.
Ned Layne, however, knew differently. He had seen her n year ago, and
the knowledge had come to him tben.
Sbe was a young lady, and they—and
he—were only cowboys. As be leaned
against tbe gate be thought of tbe old
days. He remembered ber eyes and
voice on the evening before sbe departed into tbe world, and be remembered bow she bnd said to him:
"(loodby, Ned. Father Is going to
give you tbe place of foreman. Make
tbe most of your opportunities and buy
out the Bur T. Don't forget me, Ned,"
and her eyes hod been moist wben Bhe
suddenly dropped them.
"I'll never forget you, Gypsy," he
hnd promised stoutly, pressing the
hand tbat fluttered In his.
"When I come home to tbe ranch I
want you to be bere to meet me," Bhe
added.
"I'll bo sure to meet yon." he returned. Then the train hnd borne her
away to the new life, so different from
that among the boys on ber father's
ranch.
Ned Layne and Gypsy Herington bad
been great comrades in those care free
days, nnd If now he was the only one
not riding nut to meet ber It was because be felt that those old days were
gone forever nnd would best be forgotten. Tbere should be nothing on
his part to remind her of old promises
and old thoughts that could buve no
place In her life any more.
Just a year ago Layne bad seen her
once at a great hotel in New York,
where the wealthy ranchman and his
daughter were stopping. He bad gone
nil the wny to the far eastern city for
no other purpose than to see her. but
the result bad been n sadly discouraging one. and he bad said farewell to
his dreams. Gypsy, dressed In n bewildering gown nnd moving with bewildering ease and elegance among tbe
elegant throng thnt oppressed tbe
ranchman, wns on ber way to the
opera under escort of an Immaculately
clad young Englishman possessed of
a big title, and Lnyne wns lift to be
entertained by her fntl"
She had asked hi: .<■ come back and
breakfast with them, but her changed
bearing and the cool trentment accorded to him by the condescending nobleman bad nettled Lnyne. He took the
very next train bnck to the land of
sunshine, where people were not proud
and stuck up and did not forget old
friends.
On his return the cowboys of Circle
B hnd besieged him eagerly for news
of their little chum nf the ranch.
"Yes, I saw her," he answered, veiling the bitterness In bis heart, "and
she's a great belle In her society togs.
She has a beau. Lord Percy Ellington,
one of those plug hatted chaps, and
she seems to like his attentions all
right Tbe boss says be followed them
back from Europe."
Having imparted tbls information to
the news hungry men, Ned bad gone
off by himself under the starlight and
finally abandoned all bis old plans and
hopes.
Ever since that night the young man
bad been formulating a plan for his
future which he kept strictly to himself, resolved to execute the flrst step
to\yard it when the owner of the ranch
returned to his own again. Accordingly he mounted Muggins, his own pony,
and rode rapidly away across tbe
brown mesa before the party could arrive.
From an eminence his well trained
eyes caught the blur of rising dust far
up the trail. Nearer approach enabled
hlm to recognize tbe ranch buckboard
driven by Rob Cnt Nick. Seated by
the driver was the trim figure of Gypsy, while the stout form of Herington
and a slender mnn wearing a derby
occupied the hack seat. Trailing behind or gnlloplng proudly on either
side of the vehicle rode the adoring
cowboys, chatting merrily with their
old friend.
At sight of the derby hat n frown
crossed Ned's fnce, and. putting spur
to the unoffending Muggins, the disgruntled young horseman rode off
down the gulch.
"Ellington along!" he exclaimed.
"Yet whnt right have I to be surprised
or care for tbat? No doubt Herington
Wants to show his prospective son-in-
law what a fine ranch he bus for his
daughter."
When be bad reached the live oak
thicket quite a distance away he let
Muggins rest. Throwing himself upon
the ground, he surrendered his mind
to a train of miserable tbougbts.
He had lain there a long time, when
suddenly he wns aroused from bis bitter reflections by the clatter of hoofs
over the rocky trail.
Pushing back his sombrero from bis
eyes, he looked up into the smiling
face of Gypsy, seated upon Slap Dash
her favorite pony.
, "And this Is the way you keep your
promise?" sbe said reproachfully.
He scrambled to bis feet and, throwing one arm across tbe saddle on his
pony's bnck, leaned there till be could
summon self mastery.
"What do you care, Gypsy?" he
Anally Interrogated, bis eyes stubbornly refusing to meet hers.
Some of tbe brightness left the girl's
face as sbe noted tbe misery on bis.
"Tell me wbat it all means, Ned,"
she begged. "Wby are you not yourself?  Why do 1 find you so changed?"
"Changed? Heavens!" and he could
not forbear a gesture of Impatience.
"You"-
"Here," she Interrupted in the scolding tone of her privileged girlhood,
"we come all tbe way from New York
to pay you a visit nt Circle H, arrive
and find tbls on the table," and sbe
held up a letter. "What do you mean
by resigning? Why do yon want to
leave father's ranch? He is wild over
it and sent me to find you."
"I should think Ellington might object to your riding after me," be remarked, his bronze cheeks reddening
with scorn.
"Ellington?" Tben a light broke
over her face. "That funny lord?
Why, Lord Percy is in England long
ago. Finding me too loyal an American to buy a foreign title, he ended
the long siege and departed."
"Who came with you ond your father, tben?" be inquired.
"Oh. that was Cousin Cyril, who Is
Just ont of college and needs the tonic
of our mountain ozone." -
Slipping lightly from the back of
Slap Dash, *jbe came over to Ned and
in her old way put both hands on bis
strong young shoulder.
"Now, Ned," she said, "you won't
leave Circle H, will you? Father needs
you."
"Why did you treat me as you did
In New York?" be moodily demanded,
evading tbe question.
"Before a stranger—and Lord Percy
at that?" asked she, laughing roguishly. '-"If, sir, you had come to breakfast
next morning, I—I might have treated
you otherwise."
He turned, facing her squarely.
With one of his strong hands be imprisoned botb of hers and held them
against his breast.
"What would you have done If—if I
hnd come?" he said breathlessly.
Her lovely face went very crimson
under the searchlight of his eyes, but
sbe answered bravely, "Ned, I'd have
kissed you right nut."
The foothills looked natural ngaln.
The sun shone with its old time glint
and shimmer upon tbe gray desert
sand. He had no longer the feverish
desire to get away to fresh scenes.
"I'll stny at Circle H always, Gypsy.
since you wish It," and. taking bis
written resignation from ber. be tore
it into fragments.   "Ray, sweetheart."
he added,  putting nn nrm  tenderly
round her wnlst, "I'll buy ont Bar T
tomorrow, and we'll run both ranches
together."
THE HOARD STALL
80   Arranged   That  the   Bedding   Is
Kept Clean and Dry.
One of the best authorities on dairy
subjects is ex-Governor Hoard of Wisconsin, and this Is the cow stall that
Mr. Hoard recommends. He says that
In his experience the gutter Is quite
unnecessary, although he thinks tbat
with some cows a gutter not to exceed |
two inches in depth might be desirable j
If placed well to the rear. He consld- '
ers deep drops Injurious.
Tbls stall gives a cow tbree and a
half feet in width, and she has' perfect
liberty in stepping ahead or back. A
bar across the stall door Just In front
of her bind feet 'keeps the, bedding
clenn nnd dry. and she soon lenrns to
step forward to He down.   Wltb some
The Return of Bill Carver.
Some Bathroom Mottoes.
It Is very odd thnt while mottoes
have been made, invented and borrowed for every other room in tbe bouse,
tbe bathroom should be mottoless.
Verses appropriate to the guest room
come prettily framed, tbe dining room
walls sometimes show a mural decoration of good cheer, an appropriate
verse la carved Into the library mantel,
while smoking room, den nnd living
room each boasts a special Incentive to
smoke, loaf or Indulge In cheery chatter In painted, pyrogrnphed or stenciled verse or prose. Only the bathroom remains mottoless.
Surely, with so vast a field for invention or imitation, tbere should be
no dearth of mottoes for tbe bathroom.
For example, take Bacon's "Cleanness
of body wns ever esteemed to proceed
from a due reverence to Uud."
And here's one from sixteenth century's John Heywood:
The loas of wealth la loss of dirt,
Aa eases at all time assert.
The happy man's without a shirt
Or Pope's scornful prod. "A heap of
dust alone remains of thee." "Aye.
there's the rub!" might be carved into
the towel rack, while let Into or over
the tub Byron's "Once more upon the
waters, yet once more."—Philadelphia
Ledger.
Why the Indian Wanted a Desk.
A story Is told of t'uunali Parker,
one of the old Comanche chiefs. Parker hnd been extremely valuable in
bringing the Comnnehes Into friendly
relations with tbe whites. He found
himself getting on In years, but without
any property, and his white neighbors
thought it would be a good Idea to collect money to build him a bouse. They
did this, and when the bouse was
ready tbey told blm. ond be went to
see It.
"There Is no furniture here." he said.
"What do you want?" they nsked.
He replied he wanted tbls nud that
and added, "I want a big desk -a great
big desk."
"What do you wnnt that for?"
"Well," ho said. "I want to go In there
nnd sit hack In my cbalr and put my
feet up on that desk, and some one
will come In and knock at tbe door
and sny. 'Is this Mr. Porker?' 'Yes.'
'I want to spenk to you.' And 1 will
sny. 'Ob. go away; I'm busy today.' "-
Delineator.
THE IIOIKD STALL.
cows a little training may be necessary at flrst, but tbe results are well
worth a little extra time and effort.
In the drawing A represents the
manger, B the main floor where tbe
cow lies down; C Is the piece of 2 by
i that may be moved front or back,
according to the size of tbe cow; D is
the space where tbe cow places her
hind feet when standing, and E is a
shallow gutter, while F is the floor
space behind; G is a door in front of
the cow, (ind I Is a rack over the jnan-
ger to hold hay and other kinds of
rough feed.
INJURED UDDERS.
Treatment For Severe Caaaa That Will
Afford Quick Relief.
Many times the wounds and Injuries are slight and Involve only tbe
superficial structures of the gland, and
no well marked symptoms are present. In these cases no special treatment is called for, as nature under favorable circumstances will soon effect
a cure.
There is nothing thnt affords greater
relief and so quickly as application
of hot water or poultices to wounded
or Injured udders. Woolen cloths
wrung out of hot water and held
against the affected part several times
dally will be followed with good results. Where the pain or soreness is
excessive an anodyne, opium or belladonna ' may be added to the water.
Follow the applications of water with
soothing ointments or anodyne liniments. Tbese should be rubbed in
well and the udder gently hnnd rubbed. Belladonna or camphorated ointment Is a very valuable remedy where
the pain Is severe, or the tinctures of
belladonna or opium may be applied
direct where necessity demands it. It
is better not to resort to extreme
measures if they can be avoided, as
tbe results from these heroic measures are often injurious to the gland.
Cuts, lacerations and contusions are
treated In the cow the same as In mnn.
Where the wounds are large and gaping they should be washed out with
clean water and antiseptics, all ragged
edges removed and tbe wound sewed
up.
-O
THE VETERINARY.
A veterlnnrlnn gives tbls remedy for
worms In horses: Use one tablespoon-
ful of powdered neeo nut every morning in feed for ten days nnd tben a
physic ball. Substitute bran if you
give corn in bis feed.
Horses With Shell Feet.
A horse that has poor or shell feet
must be treated carefully, as follows:
First see that they never become excessively dry. Poultice the feet fof
two weeks In warm bran mash tied to
the feet In bags. Change twice a day.
After using It for two weeks mix two
drams of canthnrldes with an ounce
of lard and rub It In well around the
coronets. Leave this on for three
weeks nnd apply again. If this is persisted In a new growth of horn will be
formed.
Caked Bag In Ewes.
Hot water applications will often relieve a simple case ot caked bag In a
ewe, and rubbing with camphor Is also
good. The best plan Is to prevent this
trouble by seeing that tbe udder Is
well milked out after lambing.
Coal Ashea For Lies.
For many years I have known that
for lice on hogs, horses, cattle and
chickens conl ashes are a sure cure,
says a breeder. I sift my coal ashes
and dust the hogs well with tbe line
nshes and throw plenty In their sleeping apartments, nnd the lice go. For
colts put the fine nshes along the hack
from the top of the head to the tall
and work the nshes In with the hand
along tbe back and down the sides
Trent cattle the same wny.
For Mange In Cattle,
Mange or scabies, called eczema by
some. Is a parasite tbat burrows In the
skin of young or unthrifty old animals
nnd causes trouble. Apply thoroughly
to cnttle oil of tar one ounce anil whale
oil twenty ounces.
Cutting Tushes From Pige.
For cutting tushes from very young
pigs to prevent fighting while nursing
use nny kind of small tweezers or nippers. Cut or break them off even with
the gums. It Is not generally neccB-
snry unless the litter Is large, hut la
tin.1 qui.j so, ns It prevents the little
pigs from cutting ench other's Jaws
nnd causing sores on the sides of the
Jaws.
By  DAVID H. TALMADQE.
Conductor Wilson of the "Electric
Flash," a term applied in kindly derision to the passenger train on the
Goose river branch of a certain great
railway, was called upon one morning
to apologize in behalf of his engineer,
and his apology from end to end, Including stops nnd slowdowns, as the
saying is. was not entirely devoid of
entertaining features.
"The truth of tbe matter Is," said
he, addressing the principal kicker, a
traveling salesman from Milwaukee,
"that there's only one man on earth
who understands the teakettle tbat we
use In place of a real locomotive on
tbls line, and hla name's Bill Carver.
Bill knows her from tbe track up. He
gives her a pat bere and a Jab there,
and she settles down to her paces like
an old family horse. But let a new
man take her and sbe either gets on
to ber bind legs and goes crazy or
else she sulks and won't go at all
worth mentioning. She's sulking this
morning."
"I should think sor' growled the
Milwaukee man, looking at bis watch.
"We're forty minutes late now, and
I'll miss my train on the other road.
Where iB Carver anyway? What do
they let him go away for without taking his hanged old steam pot wltb
bim?"
"He's at Geneva Lake by this time,"
replied the conductor. "He came down
with us last nlgbt He's on bis wedding trip. By George, you wouldn't
have known him togged out as be was
tn the regulation black, with his hands
In kid gloves and bis feet In patent
leathers. He could hardly drag his
gaze away from bis bride long enough
to recognize the teakettle; that's
fact. He was simply soaked full cf
love or whatever it Is, and be was pur
ring like a kitten. I'd never hare believed It of him, for of all the mean
things I ever beard any one say about
women as a sex and about marriage
as an institution be'd Bald the mean
est. He never had any patience with
idiots who repose confidence in petticoats,  He said women were all falsi;
ter after that until about two weesa I
igo.   He wouldn't have gone then onlj  I
tbat his mother was sick and waotei
to see hlm before she reached tbe end
ef her mn. So he got a ten days' lay- |
off and Bet his teeth together as If hi
was going into a den of lions or a
baby show, or something like that, anl -
went   The old lady was better when
he got there.   Within a week sbe was
sitting up. and Bill's excuse for stay- j
Ing In the house with ber wore pretty ]
I tbln.   He saw the girl go past several
times, and be noticed that she looked
In with an expression on her face that
resembled  anxiety,  but It never occurred to blm that sbe was so anxious
to make up witb him that she couldn't
eat or sleep.   And I expect he'd have
gone back to his dear old teakettle
without finding It out If it hadn't been
for an accident
"He was standing in front of tbe village postoffice one morning waiting for
tbe mall to be distributed. He was
keeping his eye peeled for the girl.
He didn't wnnt to meet her. He was
afraid. He reasoned that It could do
no good and would be confoundedly
embarrassing. He never carries a
false face wltb bim, Bill doesn't And
then, too, he wasn't absolutely, sure of
blmself. He knew down deep in his
steam chest that be had about as
much affection for tbe girl as be'd
ever bad, and he ratber susplcloned
that if he met ber face to face be'd
make three or four kinds of fool of
himself. He could see ber house from
wbere be stood, a pretty place In a
regular snarl of roses snd honeysuckles and flower beds, and I've a notion
tnat be looked at It with something of
longing and regret It was only natural that be should.
"Well, while he was standing there
an old friend of his came up on horseback and asked him If he wouldn't do
a favor for blm. He wanted Bill to
take the borse bome. Some business
bad unexpectedly claimed his immediate attention, and he didn't like to
leave tbe borse standing on tbe street
He thougbt Bill might like a ride anyway. Of course Bill said he would.
He didn't know any more about riding
horseback than a woodchuck knows ot
dairying, but be never hesitated to accommodate a friend. He got his mall
and climbed into tbe saddle, and in
less than three minutes something was
doing In bis vicinity.
"The horse was a spirited beast,
with a habit of staying at everything
which seemed to offer an excuse for It,
and every time he shied Bill stuck In
'jls heels, and every time Bill stuck in
his heels the beast took it as an invitation to make speed. Halfway down
Ihe street he was galloping right mer-
HOW DO, MR. Q. CUMBER
ABOUT   CHILDREN   WHO   DONT
LOVE THEIR PARENTS.
and were as foolish as barnyard fowls,
He was married to his ridiculous olil ,{'}!?■ A little farthe^Blllwasbounclug*
engine, he wns. and be never wanted
anything better in this world.
"Of course we married fellows knew
when he spouted that sort of stuff tbat
he'd been disappointed in some love
affair and tbnt be didn't really mean
all he thought he meant, bnt none ot
us was ever able to pump him out So
we Just laughed at blm and told him
tbat sooner or later be'd meet something In petticoats that would jerk
him over the line und Into tbe roundhouse as a mogul Jerks a sick switch
engine. It made him snort to tell hlm
that, but It's precisely wbat happened.
If 1 ever saw a man who'd lost the
last vestige of bis power of resistance
it waB bim last nlgbt. He was coal lu
the scoop of tbe fireman, nothing else."
"How did It happen?" asked the Milwaukee man, glancing again at his
watch and settling resignedly into his
seat
"Well, as near as I can make out
from what I was told at Whlpplevllle
yesterday by a chap wbo lives next
door to Bill's bride's folks up at Cor-
rey Center It was mostly Bill's fault
that be didn't get spliced long ago Instead of going away In u huff and
turning blmself Into a make believe
woman hater. The girl liked bim all
right, but she was like most girls—she
didn't like to seem too easy. Bill mlgbt
have understood her If he hadn't been
so lacking in ordinary—what do you
call It?—perspicuity. He sized up a
woman just as be did an engine. He
expected definite results. When he
pulled the throttle be expected her lo
go, and when he put on the air be expected her to stop, and when she didn't
do these things be got mad.
"Furthermore, he gave the girl to
understand plain enough that he wns
dead gone on her, and tbnt was anotber mistake. He's fair, square and
aboveboard, Bill Is, aud he bas mighty
little patience with any one wbo tries
to take advantage of him,
no fish to be played on a string, be
says.
"Now, there never was a healthy
girl, I suppose, who wouldn't play
with a chap after she was sure sbe
bad blm hooked. It'a tbe nature of
'em. And tbls girl did things just to
mnke Bill mad. She flirted with other fellows, and she bad little spells nt
false agony, wben she made him
think he'd done something she didn't
like and wouldn't tell him what it
was, and she twitted him ou his looks,
whlcb aren't specially handsome, and
altogether she carried on lu a way to
drive an honest man to desperation,
although most men In Bill's plnce
would bare brought her up with a
round turn.
like a rubber ball. He Bold 'Whoa,' hut
It didn't seem to have any effect. His
mall, which he had tucked under his
arm, was scattered bvadcast
"It dawned on Bllt-lirescntly tbat be
was being run away wltb. but he
didn't lose his head. Bill never loses
his head. Said be to himself, 'I've
got to shut off steam.' And he
stretched blmself on the beast's neck,
reaching for the nose, and he got a
grip on it. and the first thing that
horse knew he couldn't breathe, and
something was on his neck, for Bill
bod bounced clean over the shoulders,
and he stopped dead, stiff legged as a
sawhnrse.
"But Bill didn't stop-not at once.
He went ou. and he landed plump on
a pansy bed In the yard at the end of
the street, and wben beopeued bis eyes
be wns looking square Into the fnce
of the girl, who had been sitting under
a tree reading. Neither spoke for a
moment. The girl's color came and
went, nnd Bill's breath did likewise,
but pretty soon tbe girl's wits, which
were in working order, it seems, asserted themselves. 'Oh, Will.' sbe
ssld, 'I'm so glad you've come back to
me!'
"Bill raised himself on bis elbow la
a dazed sort of way und tried to say
something, but bis breath wasn't quite
equal to it. And the girl went down
on ber knees nnd wrapped ber arms
about him. 'So glad, dear!' she murmured.
"They got married. That's all th»re
was to It. And we're doing tbe bett
we can till they get back from tb'-ir
honeymoon trip."
The semblance of a smile appeared
upon the Milwaukee man's face. "I
suppose that under the circumstances
we'll have to forgive him," be snid.
"But. by Jingo, I'm sorry we're going
to miss connections at Whlpplevllle
I'm to be married myself tonlgbt if I
jjg.jj can get to Cnrllnsburg."
"Pshaw!" snid the conductor. "You
don't say?" Then he chuckled. "Guess
you'll hnve to go horseback, won't
you?"
"Not on your silver plated punch!"
teplled the Milwaukee man decidedly.
Mahershalalhaibai Is the Record
Christian Name For a Baby, But
Talltha Cumi Runs It Close—Mr.
Quintus Cumber Also Got a Rough
Deal In the Matter of Names-
Other Odd Names.
It is said that a gentleman had bis
two infanta christened Cherubim and
8eraphim, "because they continually
do cry." As a matter ol lact, many
offspring have been labelled with
names which in later years they bear
with disgust.
On the momentous point of parental responsibility, it would be interesting to have the opinion of Misa
Boadioea Basher, Mr. Happy Jiggins,
Haystack Brown, and Anno Domini
Davis, all ot whom appear in the
register at Somerset House.
Mr. Jolly Death, whose name figured'
not iong ago in a lawsuit, would
probably have chosen a more reverent
Christian name If he had had any
voice in the matter; as would also Mr.
Judas Iscariot Burton and Ananias
Culling, whe are, no doubt the most
upright of men.
Savage Bear, Esq., was probably a
charming man to live with; and so,
for anything we know, were—or are
—8hady Scarrott, Odious Heaton,
and Stormy Petrel Hodgson. Joseph
Lyon Lamb probably combines the
courage of his Christian name with
the gentleness of hiB cognomen;
Partridge Roast might tempt cannibals, if there is anything in a name;
and Mineral Waters ought to be allied
with good spirits. Ernest Frosty
Winter is probably a cool customer;
and Allred Days Weeks will flourish,
we hope, for many a year.
Even names such as these are not
so uncomplimentary as those which
mark either a cold or a frivolous
welcome on the part of parents. We
wonder what "One-too-many Johnson*' and "Not Wanted Smith" think
of the Fifth Commandment. Bovril
Simpson has a commercial suggestive-
nesB; Married Brown was early destined to the altar—has he reached
it yet, wonder?—and Merry Christmas
Finnett ought to (eel cool and jovial
even in the "dog days."
But of such grotesque baptismal
names the registers supply literally
hundreds, all so sppealine in their
hidicrousness that it is difficult tn
pick and choose among them. Here
are a few, taken at random: Noah's
Ark Smith, Affability Box—any relation, we wonder, to Miss Sardine
Box, who was cradled in Hackney,
Eng., a few years ago?—Jocose Ann
Reynolds—a name which should J. A.
R.—Chancery Lane Illingworth, and
River Jordan.
Floral names make quite a sentimental appeal to us. Who, tor instance, could fail to find Miss Ivy
Violet Primrose McGinley a vary
flower of maidenhood, or Ivy Verbena
Mignonette Slocombe perfectly sweei?
It is almost equally unkind to send
a child into the world with such a
name to write and pronounce as this,
Mahersholalhasbaz—a name which
wns borne until a year or two ago by
an old man in Norfolk, Eng. No wonder hia friends struck, nnd called him
"Maher" lor short. Talitha Cumi is
rather a dreadlul name to put on a
visiting card; and Tryphena and
Tryphosa are no doubt trying tor
their bearers. Azile, as an ingenious
transposition ol Eliza, is rather
pretty; as also is Louvima, a combination oi Louise, Victoria nnd
Maud, the names of King Edward's
daughters.
For a mild, pence-loving man to he
condemned to go through life ns
Richard Coeur de Lyon Tyler, Horntio
Nelson Wellington Marlborough, rr
Kitchener Buller French Gntacre—all
names actually borne to-day—is
enough to make him seek oblivion in
tiie waters of (he Thnmes. Personally we would prefer to sign our name
Edward Byng Tally Ho. or even
Quinine, as two very worthy people
still living must perforce do.
There is <nmetliing to be snid lor
naming children in order of arrival,
as Primus. Seeundiis, Tertius, and so
on. It has Ihe merit of settling nil
disputes as to seniority. Rut it has
its dangers, as a certain well-known
Canadian, ono Quintus Cu-iber. admits sutlly when he ren'ls his name
in the papers ns Mr. Q. Cumber.
Knew Hlm as a Sharper.
Lord Brampton wben he was Mr.
Justice   Hawkins,   when   on   circuit.
Hailing a long summer evening drug
on bis hands, took u turn In tbe lanes,
and. staying at a rural inn for a cup
of tea, his ears were assailed by the
charmed  sound of the  falling ninepins.   With 11 lively eagerness he inquired of the landlord If there wns nn
nlley on  the  premises.    By way of
1 answer  the   landlord conducted  him
And nt last one night four years | thither.   The goodly company nsscin.
ago Bill reached the limit, and for
about an hour he read the riot act to
her He was like 11 life or death special on a new track—simply shut his
eyes and made her run. Theu when
he'd got through he slummed his lint
over his eyes and bolted, never looking nt the girl. I'll bet fit she was
holding out her hands to hlm and trying to get her talk pipe to work. A
woman can tell usually wben she's
gone too far, and almost always she'll
come down from her perch peaceably
enough If she's given this right sort of
a chance.
"He didn't go back to Correy Ccn-
bled eyed Ihe newcomer with greedy
eyes, thinking llii'.v would l*lid hlm on
to an advantageous game. The learned judge nt once seceded to their invitation. In the course of a very short
time relieving every gentleman In the
place of his spare shillings. Then thi
landlord thought It time to Intervene
anil, touching bis lordship on tbt
back, said:
"Look here, my fine friend; we hav«
hnd your sort hero before, and If yo»
don't wnnt to shake hands with tht
police you'd better get out of this!"
His lordship weut.-London Stand'
ard.
Grizzliei That Eat Violets.
In one locality the grizzly of the
Rockies is loiiiul eating the fresh sprig
of the dogtooth violet anil the green
leaves ol the spring beauties, while a
lew hundred miles farther on to the
north or south, ns the case may bo.
the grizzly doesn't touch Ihem. In-
steu'l, he may h" discovered munching
at the young shoots of the shooting
star down in the Bitter Root mountain
country, for instance, among the lowering peaks ot the higher Rockies.
Upon this question oi locality, which
is often overlooked or even ignored by
nature writers, lies the solution of
ninny warmly disputed points between
those who tell the public at lurge all
about nature anil its animals.
Discouraging,
Lecturer on Art—Before I sit down
I shall be happy to answer any questions that any ol you may wish to
ask. Gentleman in Audience—I have
enjoyed the lecture much, sir, und
have understood it all except n few
technical terms. Will you please tell
me whnt you mean by the words perspective, fresco and mickle-aiijelo?
(Lecturer sits down discouraged.)
II'
Too Much French,
waa out with his best girl, and
they strolled into the West End
restaurant he tried lo put on an l-do-
thls-every-cyentng kind of look. When
they were soated at a table a waiter
approached them.
"Will monsieur have a la carte or
table d'hote?" he asked.
"Both," snid the young man, "and
put pleuty of gravy on 'em," THE   REPORTER,   NEW   MICHEL,   BRITISH   COLUMBIA.
♦♦♦tilfHllllllllllllle**
|The Lure of
:   the Tents.
By S. B. HACKLEY.
i   i
, " i
• Copyrighted,   1909,   by   Associated i
' Literary Press. j
11 H 1111 l-Hll I H 111111111
"1 shall never ask you again, Annette. Tell me—you absolutely refuse
» give itr up even for—even for me?"
Forsytbe's voice trembled and a repressed light burned in his black eyes
is he laid bis bands, slender, but brown
ind strong with tbe strengtb that tbree
lean of cowboy riding bad given, on
tbe shoulders of a girl standing on
this April afternoon just outside the
women's dressing tent of tbe new
IVlld West show.
Tbe girl, who wore a dark green cor
luroy divided skirt a short white coat
with fringed sleeves, a dnrk handker-
thief knotted about her soft throat and
1 cowboy's hat on her red-gold hair,
tbruBt off liis hands witb ber gaunt-
eted ones and gave him a merry look,
underneath which were defiance and
letermlnation.
"Bobby Forsythe." she cried, "It's
tne for tbe show forever!"
Tbe young man's dark face turned
•rimson.
"My ring, please, Annette!"
The girl's glowing cheeks paled
illghtly, but sbe slipped off her glove
ind laid the solitaire In his outstretch.
td palm. Then, witb a gurgling laugh
that might bave passed for a sob, she
bowed mockingly before blm and. lifting the tent Hap, disappeared within.
It was Buffalo Bill's show to which
these two belonged, but it was a pretty good Wild West show, nnd Annette
Lucile Blossom was the best "cowgirl"
rider of the twenty that dashed twice
i day fearlessly around the arena.
How she could ride—even better than
the daring young wife of one of the
show's owners who rode with blm now
ind tben for tbe benefit of tbe public.
Robert Forsythe, the most daring
rider of tbe cowboys, tbe pride ot the
troop, always bad hated to see the
Blossom riding. When he glanced over
the ropes and saw some woman spectator looking on calm and dignified
ind then glanced toward Annette
astride Western Wind, the bay pony
wltb the black spot on his left shoul-
tler, ber cheeks brilliant crying in
mad merriment with the other girl
riders, his heart boiled within him.
Forsythe, of a fine old South Carolina family, bad become known for bis
horsemanship on every western ranch.
Reckless of nature and ready for a
frolic, he bad not said "No" when besought by tbe managers of the new
Wild West show to join it
On tbe day thnt he Joined the troupe
-a spring day In Oklahoma-be flrst
saw Annette disentangling her skirt
from a Cherokee rosebush. With tbe
courtesy to a woman that is the southerner's birthright Forsythe offered to
assist her.
When the thorns were conquered
Annette waa no longer heart free, nnd
Forsythe went bnck to his quarters
feeling like one who bas looked into
paradise and received a blow In the
face.
That life might he all right for a
man, but at his home It was like a
crime for a girl of his station to ride
thus for exhibition.
Was this girl witb tbe glorious beauty, with the eyes of heaven, as public
a thing as tbe armless woman in the
sldesbow?
Forsythe clinched bis hands. In after weeks be clinched bis bands many
times. He scorned himself for tbe
flame of admiration tbat the guileless
young girl bad kindled iu bis heart
ond for tbe fact that he could not hold
aloof from her.
It was in Winnipeg, when midsummer aud tbe show entered Canada together, tbat be threw aside pride and
tradition and told Annette tbat he
loved ber. Then for tbe girl, tor whom
since tbe April dny tn Oklahoma all
commonplace things hnd been bathed
In glory, begun a life of torment.
Forsythe began the moment his ring
shone on her finger to beseech ber to
leave tbe sbow as no fit place for a
refined woman.
Her kinsmen, the show's owners,
would have released ber, but the spell
of the circus beld her, und, secure, as
she thought, In Forsytbe's love, she
laughed at his entreaties.
Forsythe grew sick with loathing of
the tent life. Every part of the performance disgusted blm.
Forsythe overtook her Just outside
the dressing tent wild with humiliation
and besought ber to marry him that
svenlng nud let him take her bome to
South Carolina.
Sbe refused laughingly, but when he
demanded that she stop riding luimc-
iistely, even though she did not merry
blm, his arbitrary tones angered her,
ind it ended In a broken engagement
For two months Forsythe gave no
ilgn of wishing to renew his friendship with Annette, but treated her with
■ formal politeness that rendered her
miserable.
"I wish he would leave the show,"
the thought dally, but he remained,
beld ns by a magnet
In tbe quadrille on horseback she
never wns his chosen partner again,
ind when tie hnd to touch ber fingers
In an Interchange of movements his
lace was slern and Inscrutable and
bis hands were like Ice.
Annette's friends were not told of
her broken engagement, but they noticed that her blue eyes were often
Jnrk circled nnd thnt In the riding she
rode fastest and most wildly of nil,
At Inst they arrived In south Texas,
flurrying toward Mexico, tho show
(topped at the small towns only. There
•aiiie a nlgbt of terrific ruin that soak
ed the ground until it was dangerous
for riding, but an exhibition was beld
whatever the weatber, so 2 o'clock in
the afternoon saw the performance at
Its height
The parade around the ring was over
—broncho "busters," Indians, Mexicans, cowgirls and cowboys, Cossacks,
all bad passed in review. Tbe stage
holdup and the Indian dance were over.
Then came the cowboy feats of difficult riding.
Robert Forsythe rode most recklessly of all—vaulting over his galloping
horse, supporting his weight solely by
>ne band clutching the pommel—around
the arena,
Tbe Cossacks, most daring riders of
the world, bated him for his skill, nnd
Forsythe in the latter weeks of his
misery had become more reckless In
riding than even a Cossack.
"Somebody's going to be hurt today," remarked one of the spectators.
"Look at that fellow riding the game
little sorrel with tbe white feet won't
you?"
"Somebody's going to see bis finish."
remarked the performers behind the
weather beaten retiring curtain. Annette shivered and whitened as she
listened.
"The sorrel's down!" rang a cry.
Tbe spectators leaped from their
seats by hundreds. The horse struggled up and shook himself—unhurt
The man lay still. Then came a woman's scream from behind tbe curtain,
"Ob, Bobby, Bobby Bobby I"
Tbe young man was raised and hastily carried ont The program continued as if nothing had happened, and
the show moved on tbat nlgbt toward
Mexico.
When Robert Forsythe. bruised and
with a broken leg, opened bis eyes In
the City hospital late tbat evening tbe
tear stained face of the best cowgirl
rider of the new Wild West show bent
over blm.
He stared at ber a moment wonder-
Ingly.
"Oh, Bobby," she whispered humbly
and uncertainly, "if you still want me
I'll leave lt-1 will—I will!"
A transfiguring light came in Forsytbe's eyes. "When?" he asked eagerly.
"Now," she answered, "this minute,
Bobby!"
Robert fumbled weakly In the purse
which tbe nurse handed him.
Presently the ring that had been
taken off in Kentucky was put on In
Texas, and the electric lights that
twinkled wttbln the hospital walls
were as the lights of heaven.
Presently Robert Forsythe broke the
silence.
"Annette," said be, "will you mind
very much—if—if"—
"If what dear?* said Annette. "I
won't mind anything except you. If
what?"
"If." said Robert smiling quizzically, "we stay with the show. You
know, I kind of like it now. And I
can't let tbat adrrel beat me."
Do Crows Recognize Sundayf
A large number of crows were foraging for food not long ago close to the
house of a farmer in West Virginia.
They were unusually bold, as though
hunger bad driven them to forget tbelr
usual shyness and distrust of their
natural enemies—men.
Two of tbem alighted close to the
back door and picked np the crumbs
with an apparent assurance ot their
safety not easily accounted for. The
farmer was telling a neighbor about
the tameness of the birds, and tbe latter remarked:
"You won't see tbem foolhardy tomorrow." ,
"Wby not tomorrow as well as today?"
Because today Is Sunday, and tbese
crows know it They know tbat one
day in seven they are not popped ut
by boys and men. They can count
crows can, and they know that on the
seventh day they are exempt from persecution.
"I once lived near a swamp where
thousands of crows made their roosting place, and early In tbe morniug
tbey used to start for tbe mountains
for their food. I was often out wltb
my gun trying to get a shot at them.
Week days tbey were shy of me, and
1 seldom got a shot at them, but ou
Sunday morning it was different Then
they would fly low nnd close to my
bouse, their wlugs almost Hupping the
rldgebourds of house aud barns. Do
crows know wheu It Is Suuduy? Of
course they du."—Exchange.
Where the Cow's I'.ept.
It was cMiuiliiuilou day ut a council
school lu tbe outskirts of Leeds. Six
rows ot ueut little "tykes," witb polished faces uud eleuu collars, bud
beeu ciireiully couched by tbe teacher
u the dIUicult art of evading tbe pitfalls set by the wily inspector. To a
boy tbey were ready.
The class room door opened and admitted the dreadful personuge.
"Now, buys," he commenced In bis
most Insinuating manner, "can any ot
you tell me a few thlugs tbut are made
lu Leeds?"
"Clothes!" said Touimj Jones.
"Right!" suld the Inspector.
"I'.iigines!" yelled Sammy Jenkins.
"Right!" said the Inspector.
Theu the replies came to n ridden
stop
Now. then, you bright boys, burry
np!" said his majesty. But the dreadful silence wns unbroken. ".Well, now,
toys, what Is the skin of n cow used
for?" asked their examiner In order to
log their memories.
Little Johnny Illnks fell off his seat
In his eagerness to be seen.
"Please, sir-please, sir," he yelled,
"the skin Is used to keep the ment in!"
-Liverpool Mercury.
QUEENSBORO  BRIDGE.
The Greatest Struotur* of IU Kind In
the World.
Measured by the combined length
and capacity of Its five main spans, tbe
Queensboro bridge, across tbe Bast
river from Fifty-ninth street New
York, to Ravenswood, Queens, is the
greatest bridge in the world. Including approaches, Its total length is 8.600
feet, width 86 feet and greatest height
over 300 feet above tbe water. It
crosses from shore to shore, 135 feet
above the river, with tbree enormous
spans of 1,182 feet 630 feet and 984
feet, tbe middle one reaching across
'the full width of Blackwell's Island.
Besides these tbere are two more great
"anchor" spans, one at eacb end, wholly over dry land, with a length ot
3,724 feet for tbe five, which together
contain over 105,000,000 pounds of
steel. No otber spans In this country,
except suspension bridges, approach
tbe longest of these, and the only
trussed span In the world whlcb exceeds it is tbe Forth bridge, which,
although 1,710 feet long, has a capacity for only two railroad tracks, less
tban one-third of this. There are two
decks, the lower carrying a wide driveway and four electric car tracks and
the upper one two sidewalks and two
elevated railroad tracks and having in
all an estimated capacity of •.'OO.OOO,-
000 car passengers and millions ot vehicles and pedestrians annually. It
cost over $20,000,000.-Exobange.
RULE OF THE SEA.
Old Whaling Law Applied to a Twice
Caught Cod,
Tbat etiquette is observed among
tbe fishermen that journey to the fishing banks was discovered by an amateur angler on his flrst trip.
The amateur hooked a codfish, bnt
his line parted just as tbe fish was
above the water. Back fell the codfish, carrying witb him two sinkers
and tbe hook.
Twenty minutes later another angler
cried out tbat be bad captured a cod
wltb two sinkers and a hooks' The
amateur went up to the angler, who
appeared to be an old salt, and nsked
for bis hook and sinkers, wblch had
his name stamped on tbem. He was
surprised when the old salt told him
to take the fish also.
According to the rules generally foi-
lowed on the fishing boats, the second
angler was entitled to tbe fish, but tbe
books and sinkers should be returned
to their owner. Tbe old angler explained why be wanted to give up the
fish. i
it seems that he had followed the
sea a great part of his life. When a
young man he was a whnler, and, according to whaling law. n dend whale
belongs to the ship whose name appears on the harpoon tbat killed it.
Therefore the old salt figured that the
amateur owned tbe codfish he bad
taken.
Euler's Wonderful Memory,
Leonhnrd Euler, who was born In
1707 and died in 1783 at St. Petersburg, wbere he spent his life as a
teacher of great power aud as a prolific writer, was tin Instance of the
genuine mathematician endowed with
almost superhuman powers. He left
more tbnn 200 manuscript treatises on
his favorite subject and the bulk of
the works published by bis academy
between 1727 and 1783 were from his
pen. in his old age he was totally
blind. Then he carried In his memory
a table of the flrst six powers of the
"series of natural numbers up to 100."
It Is related that on one occasion
two of Euler's students attempted to
calculate a converging series. As tbey
advanced they found they disagreed
In the result by a unit in the fifteenth
figure. The question was referred to
Euler, wbo decided to make the calculation. He did this mentally, and his
result was found to be correct.
The Codmoppe,
Herrings are still eaten as much ns
in tbe days when Yarmouth had to
send n hundred yearly to tbe king,
baked in four nnd twenty pasties. But
where is the codmoppe gone, and what
was it like wben kings dined off It In
Lent? "Codmoppe sauce Hollandalse"
would sound most intriguing on n Savoy menu. More original still would
be the "rostld perpes" of a Henry V.
banquet, which wns the "sen swine"
of the unrefined Saxon, tbe "pnrco mn-
rlno" of tbe mediaeval eccleslast. A
malster coke gives nn early receipt
for "puddyug of purpnsse," anotber
teaches bow to "snlte pnrpyesse nnd
seele." nnnther how to "undertrnunche
tbat purpoa." From which it may be
seen tbat enterprise extended nlso to
the spelling of the porpoise.-London
Chronicle.
Candymakers' Trloks.
An Atchison mnn went into a candy
factory. He was surprised to see one
of the candymakers reach wltb bis
bare band Into a pot of boiling candy.
He brought out a handful of the boiling fluid. He was testing Its consistency. He flrst put his bnnd In n pall
of water. After be had Jerked out bis
hand he put it back In tbe water. Tbe
Atchison man tried the same thing
and did It without getting burned.
Another Boring Question,
"1 say. pa, Is a man from Poland
called a Pole?"
"Yes. my son."
"Then, pa. why isn't n man from
Holland called a Hole?"-Comlc Cuts.
Harmonious.
"What Is the matter with the hack
dr'rer?"
"lie has a lia'.ltlti cough." .    '
Insult Added.
Big Mnn (with a gronch)-Wlll you
he so kind ns to get off ray feet? Little Man (with a bundle)—I'll try, sit.
Is It mnch of a walk?—Cleveland
Lender.
fHE EIMOB BAY,
He Tells What Causes Trouble In
a Sxyscraper.
MISTAKE OF JANE SKELDON.
Pretty Stenographer Realizes the Influence of Summit and Makes Love
to Him, but Starts In the Wrong
Way.
IC'npyrlght, 1909, by the McClure Newspaper Syndicate.'
IT is all very well for tbe would bf
tenant of a skyscraper to makt
full inquiries about the agent
the Janitor and the engineer be
fore renting quarters, but be shou'
not stop there. Indeed, be should be
glu nt tbe bead, and tbe bead Is thi
elevator boy. He doesn't make ou
the monthly bills for office rent noi
furnish the heat or light, but it depends upon him to mnke the skyscraper a paradise on earth or a hotbed of misery. Only about half tbe
tenants understand this, and bence the
troubles that arise. If I were the
president Of a $5,000,000 trust and I
went to a skyscraper to see about renting a whole floor I should say to the
agent:
"Oh, I don't care anything about
your credentials. Your engineer may
be a murderer and your Janitor a pirate, but what I want to know is what
sort of an elevator boy you hnve got.
Can he be fixed? If not, be would
drive us-out of here In six weeks."
And as president of that trust. I
should interview the elevator boy he-
fore a stick of furniture Was moved
in. I shouldn't try to bulldoze blm,
nnd I shouldn't try to buy blm. I
should softly and gently say to him:
"My son, I have met over a million
elevator boys to date, and ench and
every one of them has been the son
of a widow. Each and every widow
has had a gigantic mortgage on ber
home, and each and every son has
been breaking his youthful back to
pay It off. I see that you are no exception. Come up to me every Saturday night and get $5. It's for the interest on the mortgage. It's to prove
to you that a trust is a blessing instead of an oppression."
That would settle things right off
the reel. That trust would prosper like
a green bay tree, and I shouldn't hnve
"WITH A BAZOB  IN  UT HAND AND Kill
CS BOTH."
to borrow the ready at 50 per cent Interest to buy my cigarettes and make
an occasional bet on tbe horses.
If I were a young woman stenographer, thirty-five yearsyold and uot
too good looking, nnd I didn't know
exactly when or how or where some
one was going to come along nnd ask
for my llty white hand I'd be even
sharper than the trust president I
wouldn't try to work the goegoo
racket on that Innocent youth and set
bis heart aflame, knowing tbnt In tbe
?nd 1 mnst throw him over and darken
bis whole life, but I'd. appeal to bis
honor nnd chivalry to aid a poor girl
In making a living. I'd ask his advice
on all things and seek to gain his powerful Influence. I'd cnll blm Brotber
Snniiuls and encourage him to call me
Sister Jane. What would be the result? Why, that stenographer would
go about walking on air. nud you'd
bear nf her Investing In real estate
every week or two.
Smiles at Sammis.
When Miss Jane Skeldon came to
our skyscraper to do stenography she
realized my Influence all right, but she
started In the wrong way. Sbe smiled
at me. She made eyes at me. She
called me Sammls within two days.
Within three days she toyed wltb my
curly locks and claimed to have
dreamed about me. Inside of a week
my young henrt was a seething caldron of love. Mother could cook noth-
.JS at. bome to tempt my appetite.
if,eri nlgbt I dreamed of scaling
precipices 200 feet high to rescue
Miss Jane, and during the days it
seemed as If 1 must get sight of her
every hour or drop down dead. It
should be known to the public that
when nn elevator boy loves It Is with
nn Intensity thnt makes every tele.
phone wire within a mile of blm bum
like n harp string.
For four weeks I lived midway between the heavens and the earth, and
mother run the house on $1,60 n week.
Then came the downfall. A telegraph
boy whose life had been wrecked ten
or twelve times by Just such a female
fiend put me next. He realized how I
would suffer, hut he felt It his duty t«
tell me that my Jane was pulling my
leg. I could not. would not believe It
nt flrst, but he went ahead and mads
such a strong case thnt 1 hod to I*.
vestlgat*.   Investigation orotcd tlisl
the agent for the Scotch Granite company on the twelfth floor was boquet-
Ing her every morning and taking ber
out to lunch and the tLeatcr very often.
My first thought was to go out Into the
woods and die, leaving a note that
would bring tears to the eyes of the
public. -My next was to rush up to
Jane's room with a razor In my hand
I and kill us both. 1 adopted neither of
these plans, however. Give an elevator boy half a day to think things
over nnd he will hit the target It was
the telegraph boy who told me of the
family in a flat up town, and it was
for me to corroborate things. I found
the trustful wife and five children.
Jane continued to smile at me, and I
continued to return tbem, but within
my being a voice was crying out for
vengeance.
I went home one night and read "Tbe
Murder of the Rue Morgue" and "The
Memoir of Sherlock Holmes," and next
morning I was ready for the last act of
tbe drama. Was there any mercy In
my heart? Not sufficient for a mosquito to bite at. Had any capitalist offered to raise a dozen gigantic mortgages like tho one. on my mother's
home I wonld not havs foregone my
vengeance. My heart had been toyed
with, and I was implacable. No matter bow I found ont tbat tbe Scotch
Granite man and Jane were to take the
Coney Island boat that afternoon; no
matter how the trustful wife and Innocent children got word to be at tbe
dock and take the trip with the husband nnd fatber. When you have read
Poe and Holmes all things become possible. 1 went to Mr. Rasher, the
agent, and told him that I had been
working my heart over time and must
give It a rest, and he gave me half a
day off.
I was at the dock when the false
hearted Jane and the stony hearted
Cranite man went aboard. They were
smiling as the people on tbe slopes of
Vesuvius smile when anybody predicts an earthquake. Hist! They
come! They nre mine! Fifteen minutes later the family arrived. Notwithstanding the gigantic mortgage
weighing me down 1 had the tickets
for them, and I directed tbem aboard
—innocence and vengeance Walking
hand in hand! I followed on. The
woman who is scorned always follows
on. So does the elevator boy. He Isn't
the guy to go out before the last act
Is played.
Granite and false heart bad chairs In
the center of a large and growing audience. They smiled and cooed. Not
the slightest warning of what was
about to break loose came to them.
The sun shone, the Hudson river rippled, nnd it seemed to them as if
things would roll on forever without a
jar. Did any feeling of pity come to
me at the-last moment? Did I say to
myself that such revenge wns unworthy of nn elevator boy working for
$8 per?   Never!   Never!
I did not point out the truants to the
wife aud children. I simply left them
to do their own pointing. It wnsn't
three minutes before tbey were next
Then tbere was a rush forward, with
cries of "Ob, husband—oh, papa, how
good of yon!"
An Av ful Silenco Fall.
Tben au awful silence fell upon that
boat—a silence lasting about thirty
seconds. It was as If she bad been In
midstream and waiting to collide with
a ferryboat, it was broken by female
screams and a masculine voice attempting explanations, and tbeu the
air was full of hats and ribbons and
otber adornments. I turned and left
tbe boat. 1 was on the dock when the
others enme ashore. 1 was watching
wben tbe false hearted June made fot
a cab nnd the others for a street car.
I even gathered up some pieces of her
hat for souvenirs. I even kicked
Scotch Granite's pnnama into the river
as I made my way ashore. The false
Jane never returned to our skyscraper,
but Scotch Granite slipped In after
office hours to pack anil remove bis
belongings. He bangs out lo some
other ofllce now, and bis wife aud dear
ones come dowu to see blm every day,
and June wanders bere nod there wltb
drawn, pinched fnce and tears hi her
eyes nnd would meet me if sbe could
nnd ask me to forgive, but tbe gulf can
never be bridged, 8AMMI8,
The Elevator Boy.
Per M. Quad,
GREETING SPRING.
End of Ambitions.
"What'B become of that girl who
wanted a career-said she felt herself
fitted to do headwork In tbe world?"
"She's doing It all right-got a good
Job with a fashionable milliner."—Baltimore American.
Garden Hose.
-Harper*s Weekly.
Bad Handicap.
"He was probably spoiled hy lack ot
'! nppllcatlbn of the rod In his youth,"
'    "What nre Ihe symptoms?"
"He has snfleieil fi'nui hek of nppll
cation ever »h|iu"-luiii**il» City Times
An Old and Picturesque Custom In
Switzerland.
The first of March is a day ol joyful
festivity among the school children
in most of the Kngadine communes in
Switzerland. At 4 o'clock in the morning a party of schoolboys march
through the village clanging cowbells,
big and little, with all their might to
proclaim the dawn of a boisterous day
to their slumbering schoolmates still
abed.
As the day grows bright the boys
gather, each one with a huge bell
hung around his neck, on the village-
square, where they ioim in ranks, according to their size. When the preparations, always conducted amid
great excitement and juvenile jubilation, have been completed the procession starts on a tour through the
sheets to the accompaniment of furious bell ringing and noisy yodeling.
One of the eldest of the demonstrators, with a milk pail on his shoulder
and dressed in the costume of a dairyman, with yellow breeches, white
stockings, low shoes, finely embroidered braces over a shirt of spotless
white, turned up sleeves, displaying
a brawny arm, the dairyman's hat
perched jauntily on the back of his
head, marches proudly at the head ot
the herd. At the end of the procession is another big boy with a big
staff in his hand like a herdsman.
All this reminds us of the way the
cows go to the Alps to the sound of
bells. The whole festival is nothing
but a spring celebration to herald the
return of the milder season, which
has been looked forward to with longing ior months.
The custom is said to be of Roman
oiigin; hence its name, "Chalandn
Marz" (from Kalendare), which justifies the assumption that, from the ovr-
iod of the year chosen for the observance of this festival, it must hav*
oiiginated in the mild climate of Italy
and not in the cold clime Of the
Kngadine.
In the way described the troop
marches on from house to house and
is presented by the matrons with rice,
chestnuts, sausages, bread and even
money. The hotels are all visited,
and the guests always contribute some
small change. Out of the proceeds a
general jollification is provided, in
which the girls of the neighborhood
take part.
How intense is the youngsters'
enjoyment of the Chalandn Marz festivities can scarcely be imagined by
any one who has not looked on it.
these annual junketings.
In the Days of Sir Allan MacNab.
A Hamilton paper says the remain'*
of Sir Allan McNab will be removed
from Dundurn Park to Holy Sepulchre., cemetery, after resting in Ihe
former place for nearly seventy-fiv-?
years.
Hardly so long. Sir Allan was sti 1
very much alive when The Toronto
K.xaininer of June 16, 1847, suid of
him:
"Sir Allan McNab is a great m"»-
Speaker of the House oi Assembly,
juggling director of the Great Western Railroad Co., the representative
of Hamilton, president of the Gop?
District Turf Club, and the pious do-**
lender of the rights and wrongs of
mother church. The races are comir?
on. Pity Sir Allan cannot be in two
places n't once—cannot attend to th ►
important business of the turf and
the petty business of the Legislature
ut the same time."
How courteous were these old-hm-
papers in their references to pub''"'
men, und how. full of- news I On"?
looks in vain lor n report of Bail
races, but finds instead an editorial
jeremiad. The races nnd the circus,
said The Examiner, filled the police
court, and it called upon the Government for their abolition.—Toronto
Saturday Night.
Rubinstein's Free Seat. '
A pianist who was pre-eminently
successful in his day was Rubenstein,
who traveled nearly the whole world
over delighting people with his genius. He was very much annoyed hy
requests for complimentary tickets,
hut most of the time he maintain*; I
his composure, even though justly irritated; It is told of him that juft
before one oi liis recituls in Londo-i
he was accosted by an old Imly la
the entrance hall and thus addrcssei.:
"Oh, Mr. Ruberstein, I am so glad
to see you! 1 have tried in vain to
purchase a ticket. Have you a sei.t
you cojld let me huve»"
"Madam," Baid the great pianist,
"there is but one sent at my disposal,
und that you are welcome to il you
think fit to take it." .-...,,
"Oh, yes, and a thousand thanks!
Where is it?" was the excited reply.
"At the piano," smilingly replied
Rubinstein. 	
Toasted Bread.
Bread that has been toasted until
it becomes brown has had the starch
in it largely converted into dextrin,
and hence, bo lar as the brown portion is concerned, one ol the processes
of digestion is gone through before the
bread is taken into the stomach. It
will be found that the thinner the
slices of bread and the more thoroughly toasted-not burned, but
changed to a deep brown coloMt will
be found still more easily digested.—
London Staudard.
Courteous Cabby.
A pompoUB looking lawyer once
chartered a hansom cab. and on
reaching his destination he only gave
hiB driver the shilling required by
law.
The driver looked at the coin and
bit his lip. Then in the most courteous manner he motioned to his fare
to get in again.
"Do Btep in again, sir,    he said.
"I could ha' druv ye a yard or two •
lurther Ior thiB 'ere."
Looking Forward.
"Johnny," said Mr. Bliggens, "I
wont you to study hard and learn all
you possibly can."
"Did you do thntP".
"No, my son, I (lid not. Rut I want
you to escape the trouble my inattention has-caiiBcd me. When you grow
up and hove a son I don't wnnt you
to lie humiliated hy being unable to
answer yout boy's questions." THE   REPORTER,   NEW   MICHEL,   BRITISH   COLUMBIA.
■I ■>11 $ 1111111111 $ 11111«'»! 11
I
Love, Tomatoes I
and Finance.
By ESTELLE   CLAYTON.
> Copyrighted,   1909,   by   Associated
Literary Press.
♦■H'l I IH-U-M't 111IIHHM
The big man of the town of Strongs,
vllle was Jacob Strong.. First bis
grandfather had founded the towns
second, he had been a justice of the
peace for some years; third, he had
received almost votes enough once to
send him to the legislature, and, lastly,
be waB worth about $30,000.
Mr. Strong felt his bigness and exacted respect accordingly. He did his
best to make his son Horace and hiB
daughter Maude feel their superiority
over all other human beings in and
around Sfrongsvllle. He succeeded
admirably with the daughter, but the
conduct of hia son gave blm no little
anxiety.
One morning be said to tbe latter:
"Horace, I am pained and humiliated to learn that for months past you
bave been paying attention to tha
daughter of Scribner, the carpenter.
You have been riding with her, and
you bave frequently called at the
house.   What does It mean?"
"Miss Scribner is a nice young woman, sir." was the reply. "She Is as
■well educated as our Maude and has
as good manners."
"Tut, tut sir! Make no such comparisons. If you forget wbo and what
I am, you ought to be ashamed of
yourself. Being tbe son of a' man of
position and wealth, with more wealth
and social prestige coming, you must
look higher, Blr, far higher."
It was true tbat Miss Nettie Scribner was the daughter of a carpenter,
bnt as the favorite of her Anut Hilda
Bascomb. a rich old spinster, the girl
hnd been Bent to a seminary and enjoyed exceptional opportunities. In
all but wealth sbe was tbe peer of any
girl In tbe county.
As a matter of fact tbe couple were
engaged, but keeping it a secret.
Horace bad bopes that when the time
came to announce the fact to bis
father it would be received ut least In
a reasonable way, but the conversation of tbe morning showed him the
breakers ahead.
What Mr. Strong meant wben be referred to more wealth and social prestige coming wns tbe fact tbat he had
organized the Sfrongsvllle Cannery
company. The cannery building was
already under wny. It was a fertile
farming country nround tbe town, but
witb poor facilities for shipping fruits
and vegetables, and be bad conceived
and entered on tbe Idea of a tomato
cannery.
He bad investigated until be was
certain tbat the profits would lie large.
He put In almost all tbe mouey and
controlled things, nnd what few other
stockholders there were did not belong
to Sfrongsvllle.
As president of a tomato cannery
Jacob Strong felt himself to be a tangible object He was right tbere and
all there in his pomposity. He didn't
propose to have any of his neighbors
feel that as stockholders they need
not have too much awe of him.
Of course the magnate's son informed tbe carpenter's daughter of tbe
situation of affairs. Young Horace
was determined to disobey bis fatber
nt nny cost; but. fortunately, Aunt Hilda arrived on ber annual visit. Sbe
didn't exnctly believe that all people
were equal, but sbe bowed to noue.
If a carpenter und a blacksmith were
honest and respectable men they were
lust as good In her eyes as magnates.
The Scribners attempted to keep tbe
secret from her. but she hadn't been
In tbe bouse s dny when she turned
on her sister and said:
"Mary, there's something going on
bere, and 1 want to know all nbout
It 1 find Nettle looking piqued nnd
sorrowful, and sbe hasn't eaten euougb
at three meals to keep a bird alive.
No use trying to keep It from me.
What's tbe inntter?"
She wns told, nnd when she bnd the
particulars sbe set her jaw and nodded ber bend, which showed that she
had made up her mind, Just what It
was she didn't say that evening, nor
did Bhe tell It next morning when she
put on ber rusty old bonnet nnd sullied out She suld merely that sbe
bad a business mutter to attend to.
Mr. Magnate Strong bad a business
office in tbe town, of course. Aunt
Hilda made a straight course for It
and plunged herself down In a chair
In front of the grent man to say:
"Jacob Strong, my niece aud your
boy were attracted toward each other,
and they bave fallen in love and are
engaged. I understand tbat you oppose the contemplated marriage."
"With all my soul, and if you nre
bere to say anything In favor of It you
may ns well save your breath. 1 won-
der thnt you had the Impudence to appear at all."
"And wbnt are your objections?"
quietly asked Aunt Hilda as sbe got a
wrong bold of ber temper.
"You have no right to nsk!" he shouted at her. "But 1 will tell you at lenst
one objection. No son of mine can
mate wltb the daughter of a common
:arpenter."
"No? Jacob Strong, bow long did
your father get a skinny living off a
mighty poor thirty acres of grniiud in
Michigan and what did he nmnttnt to
is a mnn? How fnr bnck Is It since
you were running nn old sawmill on
Ten Mile creek in the some state? Mr.
Scribner Is n carpenter, but his pedigree Is nn good as yours."
"If you were a mnn I'd throw yon
rat of the office!" shouted Jacob Strong.
"Bnt. being I'm n wnmnn, I'll walk
rat as fast as I can.   I Just culled to
let you know, Jacob, tbnt I have arrived In town. Please keep a little
track of me for tbe next two weeks,
will you?"
The aunt reached home smiling and
ihuckliug. Sbe laid a hand on Nettle's
'lead and said soothingly:
"I talked up to old Strong today. It
was right that I should. But 1 haven't
spoiled anything. Give me two weeks
ind I'll bave him here, begging you to
marry bis son. Ion tell tbe young
man to remain quiet and do nothing
rash. Hilda Bascomb Is managing tbls
affair, which will be one of finance
from now on, nnd If she makes a fail-
are it will be for the flrst time. Now
I've got to go back downtown and see
i lawyer, and then I'll have some riding aronnd the country to do. Oh, but
won't I make old Strong jump before
I am through wltb him!"
In planning for the cannery Mr.
Strong had called upon moat of tbe
farmers and had Informed tbem pompously that thereafter he would buy
tbelr tomatoes at tbe market price.
He had made no definite agreement
with tbem, however, for be bad determined to pay a mighty low price
when the time came.
Miss Hilda Bascomb saw lawyers
and bad contracts drawn up. With a
boy to drive her, she covered most of
tbe county the week after the Interview wltb tbe magnate. Contracts
were signed right and left, and something was added for secrecy among
the signers.
Meanwhile tbe tomato cannery was
hurried along, and the fixtures arrived to be put In place. In her walks
about the town tbe spinster met Mr.
Strong several times face to face.
Every time he Bcowled and she chuckled. There was anxiety at the Scribners' to learn wbat was afoot but the
only explanation tbey coujd get was:
"I am simply doing a little financiering to help Cupid and the tomato
market along. When it's time to explode tbe torpedo you'll all hear the
racket"
She had been in Sfrongsvllle almost
a month when the racket was heard.
The cannery was ready for business,
ond the farmers had been notified to
begin delivery on a certain date. The
date came, but there were no tomatoes.
A messenger was dispatched wltb a
horse and buggy. He bad been back
about half an hour when Miss BaS'
comb entered Mr. Strong's ofllce for
tbe second time and plumped herself
down In the same chair.
Mr. Strong was at the telephone. Ho
was using vigorous language and
dancing around.
"Well, and bow's tbe tomato market?" asked the caller as be glared at
her and rung off,
"It Is you—you who hnve done tbls
thing," be exclaimed, "to revenge your-
self!   You!   You!"
"Yes, I have cornered every tomato
In the county. It wasn't for revenge,
but to give Cupid a chance. How much
will you take for your factory, cusb
down? it hasn't any pedigree to speak
of. but I think Mr. Scribner, tbe carpenter, can give It one."
"1 won't Bell to you! Your tomatoes
can rot on your bands!"
"Oh, no, tbey won't, Jacob!" chuckled
Miss Hilda. "I can sell them at a very
nice profit But your factory can stand
idle while I build one of my ownl Better talk business, Jacob Strong. Tbat
son of yours Is a nice young man, and
I think a heap of my niece. It's a love
match, and it would be a pity to see
it broken off. Isn't tbere some way
tbat 1 can turn these tomato contracts
over to you and let your factory begin
work? There's money In the canning
husiness, and I don't want to kill an
industry."
Mr. Strong fought for an hour and
then gave in und shook hands. By tbe
time tbe contracts were assigned to
him he was smiling. By tbe time the
woman in tbe rusty old bonnet was
ready to go be was ready to remark
blandly:
"Just so. Miss Bascomb; just so. Mr,
and Mrs. Scribner are most wortby
people, and If Horace is In love with
their daughter 1 have no objections to
a marriage. He Is old enough to judge
for himself, nud it is not for me to in-
terfere. Good dny, ma'am, good day,
and thank you ever so much for calling."
Unpolled Lives.
The life of tbe criminal Is simply
an unpolsed life. If a person were perfectly poised wrongdoing would be so
repugnant tbat it would be unthinkable.
It Is the one sided, the unpolsed mind
that goes wrong, it is just ns normal
for tbe balanced mind to choose tbe
right, the good, ns for tbe magnet to
draw to Itself whatever is kindred.
Just us tbe needle In tbe mariner's
compass always points to tbe North
stnr, no matter bow thick the fog or
bow tbe tempest rages, there is a
needle within every human being
which always points to the North star
of rectitude, of right of truth, no mat.
ter what storms of discord, of weakness or of crime may be raging In the
Individual mind. Nothing enn prevent
this little Indicator from pointing to
tbe right no matter bow far tbe individual may drift from It bow low
be may sink in vicious llvlng.-Success
Magazine.
.  A New Part of Pork.
The teacher hud been reading to her
class of tbe Industries of Russia.
Among others mentioned wns pig raising. The pig is used almost exclusively os nn article of food, very little of
his body being valued except his flesh
and his bristles.
"Tbe linsslnns bave much to learn
from the Americans in this respect,"
she continued. "In America all parts
ot tbe pig nre used except his squeal,"
At this point n pupil raised her honl
and nsked In nil Innocence:
"Whnt part of the animal Is the
squeal ?"—Llpplneott's.
HAMPTON COURT GH0S'
8MCters That Haunt the Historic
English Pataoe.
The discovery at Hampton Court
palace of some arches bridging a long
forgotten moat reminds a correspondent of several other curious discoveries
made In this royal palace. One concerns Mistress Slbell Penn, wbo was
Edward VI.'s nurse and died in the
palace in 1562. Sbe was burled In
Hampton church, and a monument
was erected, which was irreverently
destroyed when the old church was
pulled down in 182S. Soon after tbls
strange noises, as of a woman working a spinning wheel, were heard in
the southwest wing ot the palace.
Search was made; an ancient cbambet
was discovered, in which was an antique spinning wheel, and the old oak
planks were worn away where the
treadle struck tbe floor. After this
Mrs. Penn's ghost Is said to bave disturbed many occupants of tbe palace;
but according to Mr. Law's history of
the palace, she has not been seen
since .1886. wben her tall, gaunt figure
nearly frightened a young soldier to
death.
Anotber discovery arose through the
experiences of a lady ot title who
lived on tbe west side of the fountain
court In 1870. Sbe was conscious of
tbe presence in ber rooms of two invisible beings, and, disturbed by mysterious sounds, sbe complained to tbe
lord chamberlain, but he declined to
Interfere on the ground that tbere
were no funds at his disposal for any
such work and that, moreover, hi!
jurisdiction did not extend to the
spirit world. However, on Nov. 2
1871, some workmen excavating in the
cloister of tbe fountain court found
two perfect skeletons of full grown
men opposite the lady's door. They
were given Christian burial in Hampton church, and the strange noises
from that time ceased.
Now the only ghost seen In the palace Is that of Jane Seymour, queen of
Henry VIIL, who, according to certain
veracious residents, still occasionally
walks, lighted taper in hand, through
Silver Stick gallery.—London Chronicle.
Largest Floating Dook.
The largest floating dock in thi
world is at Hamburg. Dock V.. as it
Is culled, has a bearing capacity ex.
ceedlng 35.000 tons, nearly twice as
great as the American dock Dewey,
hitherto tbe most capacious of Its kind
in the world. This Is the fifth floating
dock built by the Hamburg yard, the
present giant's immediate successnt
carrying but half the above mentioned
tonnnge. The dock consists of separate pontoons combined by the lateral
eases to a solid unit These several
pontoons can also be docked In tbe
dock. At each of the side cases the
dock possesses complete steam engine
nnd boiler plant, wltb dynamos and
nlr compressors, so tbnt it Is wboily
Independent from the Innd and run be
anchored anywhere. Electric cranes,
with their arms reaching to the middle
of the dock, run from end to end of
tbe two lateral cases. Its keel and
fundamental arrangements are sucb as
to accommodate the greatest merchantmen or heaviest warship afloat-
Exchange.
The Eucalyptus Tree.
Hard, tine grained, durable wood
usually grows slowly. A most re.
niai'kable exception is tbe encalyptus,
nnd tbln it Is wblch gives the tree its
grent value as a meaus nf reforestation. It is said tbat it grows Ave times
ns rapidly as any other tree. Seedlings
hnve been observed to make an over,
age growth of six inches In height a
day, and one tree In California bas attained a height of 126 feet and n
diameter of 36 Inches In nine years.
The eucalyptus will not thrive where
there nre frosts, but in tbe south it
promises to go n long way toward tilling the plnce once occupied by other
burd woods, which hnve been greatly
reduced by demands for furniture, carriage and cooperage stock. — Youth's
Companion.
More Than an Officer Could Stand.
There Is n mnn who served as a special police officer in a suburban town
for several years, but never made an
arrest A few days ago tbe keeper ot
the lockup was much surprised to
have tbls officer bring in a man In a
helpless state of Inebriety.
•'Why, Bill." sold the beeper. "Iiow
Is this? You have been an officer nine
yenrs. und tills Is your flrst arrest."
"That Is true, Dan," snid tbe otllier.
"I hnve taken many persons lioine
when intoxicated rather tban bring
them here. Hut when a man gets
drunk and lies down on tbe lawn in
front of my house and goes to sleep
that's more than 1 can or will stand."—
Boston Herald.
London's Homeless.
On one1 night In ench yenr the London police tnke a careful census of the
homeless. This year the night selected
was tbnt nf Jan. 15. when the olllcers
found more than 2.000 persons, nf
whom nearly 200 were women and 23
children, sleeping outdoors without
shelter. On the same night nearly
22.000 persons were occupants of common lodging houses of the poorer type,
nnd nbout 1,200 more were accommodated In tbe casual wnrds of workhouses.
Gowns and Qraoe In Bowing.
It Is said that King Edward bas signified his disapproval of the dlrertolre
gown not upon the ground that It Implies an artificial deformity of the
body, but because It Interferes with
the depth and the grace of the courtesy. The king Is nn ndmlrcr of tho
full, old fashioned bow, nnd he dislikes
a costume thnt gives rigidity lo tbe
figure and makes everything beyond a
slight bend Impossible.
BOWSER JS FEB
Takes Night Trip Into the Country In Search of Spring.
ADVISED TO TAKE A LANTERN.
Philosopher Scorns Wife's Suggestion.
Alarm of Natives Bafora He Is
Seized and Returned to His Home
and Comforts.
{Copyright 1909, by the McClure Newspaper Syndicate.'
THE Bowsers bad finished dinner without the gns meter
blowing up or the cook quitting ber Job, but after reaching the sitting room Mr. Bowser did not
sit down to bis evening paper, as usual.
On tbe contrary, he wandered about
until Mrs. Bowser asked:
"Did you want to go somewhere this
evening?"
He waited a couple of minutes before replying and then said:
"Mrs. Bowser, spring Is Here."
"Well, hardly, but we can say it's
coming."
"It Is a warm, balmy evening. The
feel, the scent of spring Is In the air.
It thrills me. It reminds me of my
boyhood days on tbe farm."
"Yes?"
"I want to smell tbe violets in the
woods. I want to see tbe mandrakes
peeping out of the ground. 1 want to
hear the robin sing and listen to the
notes of the frogs as they come forth
from tbelr hibernation."
"You will only bave to wait a little
while."
"But I don't want to wait I want to
take a suburban car and get right out
into the country this evening. I have
got what the Germans call the wanderlust"
"But you can't see robins and bluebirds and mandrakes at night" protested Mrs. Bowser.
"But I sball know tbey are around
me."
"If you feel that way I have no objection to your going, but I think it
Bn. BOWSEII STANDING BY TBAT FOND AND
HOLDINO HIS BREATH.
would be almost tbe same thing to Bit
in the back yard for an hour or two.
•'There you go!" he shouted. "You
hare no more sentiment about you than
a horse block. 1 don't believe you'd
even look up tf n dozen robins flew
against the window."
"1 should wish they had waited two
or three weeks longer. There is a
sentiment nbout spring, of course, but
wait until spring Is bere. I think the
weather predictions for tonight are"—
■'.Never you mind tbe weather pre.
dictions. I am going to take a trip
out Into tbe country. I can go out nnd
greet the vernal spring and be back In
three hours."
"Very well. I shnll be glad of a few
violets. Shall you take a lantern
along?"
"What In blazes do I want wltb n
lantern?"
"To see to pick the violets. Perhaps
you don't wnnt to bother with It, bow
ever. Yes, If you have thnt feeling, go
on. I suppose one Pan hull the vernal
spring In tbe night ns well as by daylight 1 never heard that it was so
very particular as to the exact bour.
Better take along your fur collar and
mittens."
Mr. Bowser bnd spoken of going to
tbe country, but lie hadn't Intended going. He hod suggested It Just to sny
something. Now, however, as he saw
that Mrs. Bowser was guying him, his
mind wns Instantly mode up to go.
He'd have gone if the United States
had passed four different resolutions
that spring wns a month -way. He
■corned the lantern, fur collar nnd mittens. Indeed, be went beyond that and
scorned his overcoat He hnd sold It
was spring, nnd he would be consistent lie wasn't ten minutes In getting
ready, and he was so sulky when he
did go that he wouldn't say goodby to
Mrs. Bowser nnd the ent on tbe steps.
He had been gone thirty minutes when
tb'e telephone bell rang. Mrs. Bowser
answered It tn henr this message:
"I am the conductor on the Jamaica
suburban car. I have a passenger on
the enr who says that his name is
Dowser nnd that he Is going out Into
the country to look for spring and violets. Is he your husband? Is he all
right In his head? 1 hare stopped tbe
car to wire you?"
Searching For Frog Pond.
Mrs. Bowser straightened nut matters
In sixty seconds, und then there came
an Interval of ten minutes before she
was summoned again:
"Hello, hello! Is this Mrs. Samuel
Bowser?"
"It Is."
"Wife of a short, pudgy and bald-
headed man who seems to have lost
some of tbe stuffing out ot bis top
story?"
"I don't understand you. sir!"
"Well, there's a man of that description just got off at the terminus here
and asked for the nearest frog pond.
He says It's spring, and he wants to
hear the frogs croak. Some of us
think he's escaped from some asylum,
but If you say it's all right he can go
on. Tbe nearest frog' pond is half a
mile away and baa two feet of ice
on it"
The man waB Instructed not to physically Interfere with Mr. Bowser's
movements and to chime in with him
In his assertions that spring had arrived, and then tbere came a longer
watt During the Interval Mrs. Bowser took a look from the front door and
found that It was snowing. She was
picturing Mr. Bowser standing by that
pond and holding bis breath in his
anxiety to bear a frog send forth a
croak when the telephone bell summoned her:
"la this Mrs. Bowser?"
"Ye*.   Go ahead."
"Ia your busband homer
"No. He left for the country some
time ago."
"Was bis Idea to look for mandrakes,
violets, robins and all that?"
"Yes."
"All right, then, I thought he was
either a lunatic or a liar. He knocked
at my door ten minutes ago and said
he was looking for spring. As It is
snowing here I didn't believe him. My
two sons are holding him down, on the
floor as I talk to you. I have Just told
them to let him go.  Is that all right?"
"Perfectly all right, and 1 thank you.
Mr. Bowser gets queer notions into bis
head sometimes, but he is perfectly
harmless."
The wind rose and brought a mingling of'hall and snow, nnd Mr. Bowser's overcoat hung there on the peg
like an accusing witness. Mrs. Bowser's conscience was almost ready to
cry out wben tbe telephone bell Interrupted:
"Am I speaking to Mrs. Samuel Bowser?"
"You are."
"What kind of a place are you running there in town? Is it a boarding
house, kindergarten or lunatic asylum?"
"That's a curious question to ask.
Who are you, sir?"
"Farmer Henderson, and I've got a
curious man here. He says his name
is Bowser and he can prove by you
tbat he came out here to greet the vernal spring. Never beard of that sort
of spring before, but I guess It's a
spring with a foot of snow in her
pocket   So you know him?"
"Yes: be's my husband."
"Gosh all fishhooks, but you don't
say! We were Just going to bed when
he knocked on the door nnd wanted to
know tf we bad seen any mandrakes
or heard any spring frogs. Isn't he a
bit buggy?"
"No, sir; he's Just as sane as any
man."
"You don't say! Just got wbat tbey
call the spring fever, eh?"
'•That's It    Please tell hlm that I
want him to start for home at once."
Will Greet Spring or Perish.
There was a wnlt of a minute, and
then tbe farmer's vo|ce was heard
again:
"I've told him, but he says he'll
greet tbat vernal spring or perish In
the attempt I can lend him nn old
overcoat nnd get one of tbe boys to go
as far as the car with hlm."
"I wish you would. I'll gladly pay
for any trouble you take."
"Ob, that's all right, ma'am. My
wife gets such spells, and 1 feel to pity
you. We mny hnve to tie his legs nnd
carry him part of tbe" way. but we'll
get hlm there, never fear. Good nlgbt,
ma'am. My wife Is Just now tying a
bedqullt around hlm for protection,
and my son Is whistling like a robin
to deceive him."
And nt 2 o'clock In the morning,
wben a half frozen, wild eyed creature
came creeping Into the house, he
found a hot fire going, hot coffee nnd
a lunch ready, nud Mrs. Bowser never
even asked If the spring lambkins were
frisking nnd the frogs turning hilarious Boinersaults. M. QUAD.
In Days to Coma.
-T'-'l^»fc*L»«JI-T'.'" v-a^   '_?**•
5i      tV:*?*- - ■ - "Li   _^"r -"Til—
Aero Cabby (to nervous lady)—Let's
see!   Where do 1 drop yer?
The Author.
I Author's Wife (Interrupting his after
dinner siesta for the third tlmci-Whnt
title did you decide ou for your new
' book. John?
j    Author (slecpllyi-*'How to Be Nnp-
I py Though Unrrled."-I'uck.
MODERN HOTELS.
Ingenious Mechanical Daviosa With
Whloh They Are Equipped.
Tbe new hotel buildings which are
being put up mark the culmination
of a business to which the best ot
American Ingenuity and desire for luxury have been concentrated. Time waa
when tbe hotel that cost half a million
dollars waB considered palatial Now
no new hotel In tbe larger cities Is considered flrst class unless it costs at
least $1,100,000, and many of tbe new
hostek'ies cost $3,000,000. $4,000,000
and $5,000,000, including their site ot
ground lease.
T|ie modern hotel is a house of marvels. Tbe casual guest wbo spends a
night in one between trains or orders
a simple dinner for a few friends does
not realize perhaps the cost and Ingenuity ot tbe mechanical devices that
are summoned to his service. Not
only Is bis room lighted and ventilated
by electricity, but his carriage Is signaled, the potatoes for his breakfast
are peeled and bis bread is kneaded
by tbe same force.
One of the latest bote! devices Is a
telautograph, by which orders written
in one department are automatically
transmitted to paper by a moving pencil in a totally different part of the
building. Another electrical device Is
a delicate apparatus installed In every
room of a New York hotel, which
sends In an alarm of fire whenever tbe
temperature around it in abnormally
high.
Tbe old broom with its cloud of dust
Is a thing of the past Pneumatic
brooms bare taken its place, sucking
up every particle of dirt and depositing it In a bin In the basement Even
tbe chambermaids who run these
brooms ore kept in constant touch
with tbe main office by electricity.
When one enters a room she Inserts a
small glass bulb in a socket on the
frame of the ball door. Tbls connects
n circuit wblch not only lights the
bulb, but also a glass button on, a
switchboard In the office, thus enabling tbe clerk to tell exactly where
every maid in the house is at a glance,
—Boston Globe.
Dubious.
"You look like one of the nohlllty,"
nverred the admiring ncqunlntnnce.
"Is that," demanded the man nf distinguished hearing hnilghtlly, "Intended ns a compliment or nn iDsultJ"—
Kansas City Times.
A Grim Toy.
A citizen of Paris, a pensioner,
boasts tbnt he has witnessed thirty-
seven executions, and now that be la
getting old, being unable to follow M.
de Paris, the Idea of the guillotine has
so obsessed him that he bas had made
a model on a small scale, which he
has used for cutting cigar ends. Recently he bad friends to lunch, nnd
after'the repast the model was produced. For some reason the knife refused to act The host, feeling that
his reputation was at stake, set about
to discern the cause. Examining tbe
machine very closely, his nose got Into
the lunette. Probably the machine waa
shaken. At all events, tbe blade fell
and with It tbe tip of the morbid gentleman's nose. His flrst care was to
visit the surgeon, and after the Injury
bnd been attended to be went home,
broke up and burned "In Veuve."
Evarts' Long Whip. ' '
Years ago when before the state
court of appeals Edward J. Meegau,
then a stripling lowyer. saw a gaunt
young man with n big head hurling
sentences at the judges with a snap at
tbe end of each one, very mnch as tbe
old time stage driver used to swing his
whip lash around his leaders' heads.
"The sentences came out thick and
fast nnd ponderous," snys Meegan,
"but he was dextrous, nnd each time
tbe snap went where he Intended,
right by the judges' enrs. It was as
Interesting to me ns a man casting for
fish, I asked n lawyer beside rae who
the little chap was. In astonishment
he replied. 'Why,,thnt Is William M.
Evarts, the great William M. Evarta
of New York.' "—New York Press.
Ravens and a Black Cat.
The Berliner Tagoblatt cnntnlus this
notice In n recent letter from New
York: "Dled-The new German then-
ter. We spenk sympathy for H. Blitz,
business manager, nnd Dr. Bnumfeld
nud Eugcn Burg, artistic lenders. Tbe
theater lias already been lensed to
Americans, wbo will dispense there. In
keeping with the fashions, dramatic
lemonade for misses and nm minus, a
snd ending to a propitious beginning.
I remember the festive opening night,
with Wlldenhrucb's 'Knlienstelnerln.'
Supersiltlous tlienter people Bnw In tho
play, which dealt with ravens, a bad
omen, and when a black ent ran across
the Btnge heroic the curtain went up
that finished It."
* Microbes In Extremely Cold Lands.
We are accustomed to think of severe and continuous cold ns being an
enemy lo life of every sort, but data
furnished to the Pasteur institute In
Paris by Dr. Charcot, the nntnrctlc explorer, prove conclusively thnt the Intense "old of the south polar regions
still allows various forms of microscopic life to flourish. On examining
the Intestines of animals twenty-four
different microbes were found, nnd of
these tifteen were varieties already
known In Eurnp", Even the microbes
found In soil taken from the nntnrctlc
continent where the foot of man had
never trod were found to be Identical
with those of the Inhabited world.—
London Globe.
Vegetable Salt.
M. Laplcquo hns Informed the French
Society of Biology that nearly 25.000.-
000 beings In tho Kongo regions commonly employ salt of potassium Instead of salt of sodium for seasoning
their food. They obtain this snlt from
the ashes of certain plants. Iteceutly
ordinary snlt has been largely Imported, hut the negroes regard It as Insipid
nnd nbandon with regret the use of
their familiar ashes. They take the
Imported salt only because It is chcop. THE   REPORTER,   NEW   MICHEL,   BRITISH   COLUMBIA,
!•♦ v*I"r ♦♦♦t
Me Bachelor
! and the Cat.
By STUART B. STONE.
1  Copyrighted,    1909.    by    Associated
1 Literary Press.
+»,> 111 ***** **************
The Huffy haired, hazel eyed young
lady was speaking of the play at the
Belleville Opera House.
"It Is the prettiest bit of sentiment
There's the quaintest pair of lovers,
and they go through lire, water, persecution and plague, but it works out
beautifully In the end."
Thereupon bashful Captain Grant
at tbe bead of the table, sniffed polite
disapproval.
The cheery young bank clerk who.
sat next to the hazel eyed girl told of
tbe "best selling" romance he was
reading. It was "The Loves of Lady
Perllla," and Captain Grant frowned
at tbe title.
Then the young man leaned over
and talked In low tones to the fluffy
balred girl. The girl colored In deli-
clous bewilderment. The young man's
merry eyes sobered, and Mrs. Ogden
Carter winked at Mrs. Newman Appleby across the table. Captain Grant
saw the byplay of hearts and growled
Into his plate of Boston beans. After
thst in a faint sweet cloud of heliotrope, tbe lilac lady entered.
She was in the early thirties, rather
tall and thin, with a wreath of glossy
black hair and big, gray eyes scattering sympathy. Touches of lilac here
and there relieved the black.
The boarders "sized up" the newcomer—some with a tinge of envy of
tbe splendid, shining hair, others wltb
listless conjecture as to whether she
came from Cape Cod or from Kokomo.
But Captain Grant looked covertly at
tbe lady and sighed so manifestly
from tbe heart that a little ripple of
amused wonder went around the tables. Blushing vividly, the captain
arose and strutted hurriedly out
Tbe captain held little part In the
babble of the table, but next day he
spoke to Miss Inola Marshall, the new
boarder, regarding tbe probability of
rain. The lilac lady smiled charmingly, admitting the shrewdness of tbe
forecast From one labored confidence
In a day this man, who bad sniffed at
the prospect of young hearts confiding,
attained to a running comment of anecdote and observation.
Miss Inola was gracious: so, after s
bit noticing the captain and the lady
deep in discussion, Mrs. Carter smiled
at Mrs. Appleby, and the young clerk
bad bis bazel eyed girl to blmself,
with no one to snort because they
talked in the low, earnest tones of
lovers.
Things went thus beautifully until
the coming of Zeuobln. Zenobla wns
plump and sleek and sandy nnd wblte
streaked, like a faded tigress. She
waa endowed wltb a cavernous yawn
and a lulling, musical pur, and she
had a way of curling up on the precious skirts of women to dream fitful
tbings of the chase of the bard pressed
mouse.
Tbe giantess nf a cat was as a picture ot gold to Miss Inola, but the captain detested all of her kind. When
Zenobln crept softly to tbe dining
room and some unseeing barbarian
stepped on ber ringed tall, so that she
squalled In despair, it was a question
whether the captain did not chuckle
grimly.
Miss Inola, loving Zenobla dearly,
could not help hut hold It against him
In ber heart Finally Zenobla. sighing
for sympathy, thrust her plump sides
against the trousers leg of tbe captain,
leaving soft, yellow hairs for remembrance. It affected him like the clammy contact of a serpent.
"Whnt do you see in that cat?" he
demanded.
"More than I see In you," Miss Inola
flared back.
That settled It The captnln retired
to bis den and tried vainly to Interest
blmself In tbree volumes of the history of the Sudan, nnd Miss inola,
netting and pampering tbe giantess
Zenobla, almost wished thut she might
die. Fnr a month Mrs. Carter and
Mrs. Appleby bad only the young bank
clerk and tbe hazel eyed girl for winking and smiling exchange.
Tbe last nlgbt In the month the captain lounged disconsolately In his
smoking gown, dividing his time between a dissertation on Moroccan
bandits and tbe perversities of women
in lilac.
"Tbe Moorish bandit 1b gruff, grim
and inured to hardship," read tbe captain and nodded, knowing tbey were
miles and miles away.
"She Is the only woman I could ever
care a straw for," murmured the captain, alert and sighing, for Madam of
tbe Lilacs was only across tbe narrow
ball.
A full fed, lazy cat purred in the
:orridor, descended the steps nnd
yowled for companionship In tbe yard
below. The captain shut his mouth
tight und went bnck to learn of the
banditti. The Dutch windmill of a
-•lock chimed 0. The cry was repeated
nearer.
"Fire!   Fire!"
The captain bounded to tbe door, arrayed like it rajah for glory. Miss
Inola almost telescoped blm.
"Where Is It?" she demanded.
Tbe wluduw disclosed a fierce blaze
quite near. "Tbe Golden Rule warehouse," answered tbe captain, and they
both descended hurriedly.
A crowd bnd gathered, shouting, gesticulating, yet not venturing near tho
turning warehouse.
"Why don't they put it out?" asked
Captain Grant.
"Powfler stored there—barrels and
barrels of It," volunteered some one.
Mrs. Appleby approached .Miss li.nla.
"Your cat Zenobla just went In there.*
Miss Inola moaned: "Poor little Zenobla!   She'll be blown Into the.uioon!"
Captain Graut started to speak and
checked himself. Then, coloring violently, he announced: "Don't go on In
that way, Miss Inola. I'm going tc
rescue Zenobla."
Miss Inola stared, colored on her own
account and extended her hand. "William." she called him for the tlrst time,
"you are good and brave and true."
Tbe captain proudly raised his bead
girded bis flowery, high colored gown
about hlm aud waded into the zone ol
glimmering light
Hey, there! Danger! Powder!
Come back, man!" bawled the spectators. But Captain Grant strode grimly I
on. The last words of tbe lilac lady
rang in bis ears—"You are good and
brave and true."
He heard the cat yowl frantically,
and he charged like an Assyrian host
"William, William, William!" her voice *
kept calling to hlm. The door wns fas
tened with a rusted padlock, but thi
captain easily broke through the rotten thing. "Brave and true, brave and
true." he kept repeating.
The structure was doomed, hut hen
Just within the door It was rathei
dark and thick with smoke. He could
mnke out the barrels and tried to avoid
them.   "Kitty, kitty, kitty!" he called.
He stumbled over something, caught
at a barrel and plunged into Its ya wiling top. His nrms rammed Into u soft,
fleecy, choking mess. Scrambling up.
he overturned two others nnd rolled
on the floor.
Finally he regained his feet, covered
from bead to foot wltb tbe pulverized,
clinging substance. A cat howled
somewhere, ond he turned toward the
door. Zenobia sat upon ber baunchei
twenty feet in front of the warehouse
spitting and howling like a feline demon. The captain stepped out Into
the light. He was covered, plastered,
burled, frescoed, coated wltb flour.
The crowd stirred In the distance.
Tompkins, proprietor of tbe Golden
Rule, bed arrived. "There'B no powder," be exclaimed. "Those barrels
contain flour. Come on!" The mob
came like a hurricane.
Look nt Captain Grant," they shout
ed gleefully—"flour all over his dress
ing gown and on bis face and hair
Looks like a ghost!"
"Well, I'll be eternally Jiggered!"
fumed the captain. He kicked nt the
screaming Zenobla and, missing, nearly fell upon his back. Particles of
dust adhered to tbe flour, giving blm
a glorious checkerboard appearance
He turned and ran from the madding
crowd, a white, gorgeous specter ot
the night
As be scaled tbe picket fence some
one called to blm, but be paid no heed.
He bounded down the little lane with
Berserker vim and fury. The person
who hnd called ran through n gnte
and Btood In the road to check him
The captain, wild, chagrined, unseeing, waved his arms, put on more
steam and growled deadly menace.
"William, WUllaml" called a soft
sweet voice.
Tbe captain, checking, flapped at tbe
flour in bis eyes.
"Oh. you are brave and true, but
you do look like a fright!" said Miss
Inola, and she broke dowu and Bobbed before tbe captain, taking alarm
again, could bound away.
"There, there, don't cry!" he admonished. "That spitfire Zenobla's all
right and will live to be ten thousand."
Tben he took her In his arms until
she became wblte with the dazzle of
tbe flour.
A TANTALIZING CUP.
Interesting Experiment With Eggshell,
Cork and Straw.
Tantalus, according to tbe legend,
having offended tbe gods, was puuisn-
ed by being made very thirsty, having
a cup of water placed continually just
out of his reach. From this story we
get our word tantalize. To moke a
cup of tantalus—that is, a cup tbat
can be filled part way, but never to tbe
brim-follow directions:
Get an empty eggshell and break oft
tbe large end of it, suy halt un inch
down. Tbrough the small end bore a
bole just tbe size to admit a good,
firm straw. Now hollow out one end
of a cork so that the shell win fit in
it and through tbe cork bore a bole to
admit tbe straw.
liun tbe straw up through the cork
and into tbe shell tor naif an incu or
so.    Make all the Joints tight   wltb
HOPE OF THE HEART,
By  BALDWIN SEARS.
Their Fortunate Escape.
They had walked halfway tbrough
the park at a smart pace, und she now
sank on a shaded bench. He seated
himself beside ber. They were entirely
alone save for an old man at one end
of their sent immersed In u book. Tbelr
agitated conversation continued.
"Oh, It Is too dreadful!" she shuddered, covering her face with her
hands ns If to shut out some unbearable sight
"Fearful!" he agreed, deeply moved
and mopping the profuse perspiration
from his brow.
"Horrible!" sbe added. "1 cannot
bear to think of it. The loss of hope,
happiness, perhaps even life Itself" -
"Hushl" he Interrupted. "Let us
strive to think of It no more or It mny
grow to prey upon our minds."
"Pardon me." said the old man on
the end of the bench, bis wutery eyes
distended In lively apprehension. "Has
there been some awful disaster? Have
you been forced to look upon some awful tragedy?"
The young couple regarded each other In some confusion. Hesitatingly tbe
youth answered:
"No, sir. Yon see. we have Just become engaged, and we were talking of
what n calamity It would buve been
hud we never met"
Her Greenhorn Mother,
"I wns going to Patcbogue." snid a
woman nt the Waldorf, "when I saw
sitting near by u little girl with her
mother, the mother evidently a foreigner, the child bom In this country,
botb surrounded with bundles lu the
foreign way The child was six The
conductor came along, and the child
held out the tickets.
" 'I want yon to put ns off nt I'nt-
chogue,' she snid. smiling nt hlm. 'und
help ns with our bundles, pleuse My
mother's a green horn. She doesu't
know anything about traveling.'
"I wntched her until the two nr,
rived nt their destination, 'and 1 think
I hnve never seen a more polite little
girl or a more seemingly dutiful
dnugbter. It wns quite evident to ray
mind thnt she mount no disrespect to
her mother by calling her by what
would seem to us to lie nn opprobrious
epithet. She had merely adopted one,
of our slang words ns the very best of
Engl!sh."-New York Press,
THE COP COMPLETE.
sealing wax and fasten tbe shell to tbe
cork In tbe same way.
Cover tbe top ot tbe straw In the
shell wltb a thimble, wblch will rest
on tbe bottom oi tbe shell aud almost,
but not quite, touch tbe top ot tue
straw,
Now, to make a little tripod for tbls
apparatus stick tbe prougs ot three
forks In tbe cork and tben pluce a
tumbler uuder It Pour some water
Into tbe shell, it will not run out
through the straw at toe bottom at first,
but wben It rises as blgb as tbe thimble It will begin to run. tor it goes up
under the thimble nnd enters the upper
end of tbe straw, tnus nuuing an outlet. By fastening a wire around ihe
cork and bringing one enu up to tne
edge of tbe cup a manikin may be beid
in the position ot bending over to
drink. Hare tbe lips ol tne maunua
just above tbe level ot tne water.
captur!ng~snakes.
How 8erpent Hunters ol the Tropica
Secure Their f rey.
The capture of smites Is simple and
comparatively free trom dauger, says
the Chicago News. In tbe great
swamps of India tney are eaugbt in
the early morning, when tbey are stiff
from cold. Tbe natives UBe nets tor
tbe purpose or else press a stick
against the back ot tbe snake's back,
thus holding It fast until they can put
It away safety.
Anotber method is to surround a
spot known to be full ot snakes with
nets during tbe dry season and set tbe
underbrush ou fire. Tbe snakes rusn
for safety tn all directions and fail In
great numbers into tbe nets, l'hts
method is often used to catch tbe big
gest species of snakes. Hageubeck
states tbat many specimens ot such
monsters received by blm trom Calcutta bear marks ot burning.
Tbe giant snnkes ot Borneo fall a
prey to tbe native hunters after tbey
bave gorged themselves to such an extent on food tbnt tbey con scarcely
more nt all. Nets are tben thrown
over them, and tbey are delivered to
Hagenbeck's agents.
Some snake hunters of India rely almost entirely ou tbelr sense ot soiell
for ferreting out their victims. Tbese
hunters set out In tbe coid ot tne
morning, knowing, more or less, wbere
tbe boles are lu wbleb tbe snakes live.
By means of their keen sense nt smell
tbey cau tell whether a suuke is at
bome. Tbey tben dig It out und. us It
Is half frozen still, succeed easily ut
Imprisoning It In lh»lr baskets.
The Reason.
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A
"I wonder why Bailors are always
dry?"
"Bein' called 'salt' so much makes
them thirsty, I s'pose."-St Louis Republic.
His Business Ability.
In the Adirondncks lives n mnn too
lazy to work, but evidently of grent
business ability. One winter when he
was sitting around smoking his family
came so near starvation thnt some of
his neighbors, who could 111 afford to
help blm, took up a collection and
bought for the suffering family a barrel of flour, a barrel of pork nnd a load
of wood. They were not considerate
enough to cut the wood, but tbe business mnn knew bow to manage. He
hired some of the neighbors who had
not contributed tn bis donation to cut
the wood and pnld them with half tho
Dork and half the flour.- I.lDDlncott's
The scuttle in the roof of the farmhouse opened slowly, and a girl's bead
appeared. As sbe beld up ber face to
tbe evening breeze her fair fnce, yellow hair aud delicate features made
her appear like some faint star Just
glnuelng above the horizon.
A young man with a scythe over his
shoulder crossing the lane bemw the
bam looked up toward tbe house. Seeing the girl, he stopped, stralgbteued
his shoulders ns though be butt expected ber to speak and to speak himself, then wnlked on with lagging
steps aud disappeared below the orchard wbere the brook flows into tbe
woods.
Mary leaned her arms on the edge of
the scuttle and looked out Tbe hot
air from tbe garret blowing in gusts
past her face was like a twitch at her
sleeves reminding her ot the household
she bnd left below.
Sbe was the only one who had not
already gone to bed. it was harvest
time. They were cutting the wheat
iu tbe meadows, and all day the hum
of tbe reaper bad come up from the
broad white fields where the men
were at work. Since dawn tbe house
bad been buzzing witb lively toll, but
now the day's work was euded.
In the front room off the porch the
former and his wife were asleep. They
had gone to bed immediately after supper, and while Mary had sat ou the
porch she beard their low rolces talking over the potato crop and the grain,
tbelr drowsy words growing fewer,
slower, until at length they sauk away
and ceased while yet tbe bobolinks
were skimming over the meadow and
the red of the sunset lingered.
Across the gate her married brother
and a neighbor had talked politics.
Mary had heard their nasal voices alternating like tbe wooden balls tossed
by a Juggler, in tbe south chamber
just under the attic ber sister-in-law
had been putting ber children to bed,
the creak, creak of the rocking cbalr
ns It swayed over an uneven board
dimly audible through tbe silent house,
lu the attic under tbe root elept ber
little brptber Bob. dreamless, tired and
contented at the end ot bis long summer day.
Down In the kitchen yard the turkeys and chickens hnd gone to roost
In the apple trees snd the grape urbor,
clucking and twittering In sleepy protest against tbe awkward ones as
they settled themselves together.
in a few moments It bad grown
very still and dark.
The girl on the housetop drew n
long breath and leaned ber bead back
against tbe edge of the roof. It was
only 8 o'clock, and tbe faint yellow
twilight lingered on the border of tbe
summer nlgbt. A new moon bung low
over tbe crest of the woods. 1 he west
wind brought up the hot smell ot
ripening cornfields, and a bat darted
out of the orchard In swooping circles against the clear nlgbt
From her eyrie above tbe treetops
the farm buildings, the neighboring
houses, the fields and lnnes, even the
wide post rood, looked quite small and
cheap, like n toy village. The countryside in Its Irregular checkerboard of
pasture, corn and woodland, pale yellow with the wheat stubble, somber
green where half ripened orchards
spread, marked here uud there by a
cluster of roofs, a spire that told a
hamlet In tbe hills, became significant
only In the mystery of distance ns it
mounted toward the hills and ended nt
last In one vast, gray, senlike level
against tbe trackless sky. Mary looked
nt It all as one upon whose mind the
meaning of these familiar scenes had
Just begun to dawn—these fields, the
chickens she must pluck, the brend
sbe must make, the raspberries sbe
must preserve, all grouped themselves
before her in a coherent scheme of life.
From down till dark, each day alike,
cooking, washing, preserving, holding
tbe babies—the burdens of each side
were hers. So fnr sbe had carried
tbem unthinkingly, unqnestlnnhigly. n
wns only the lot of every runner's life.
Tonight she was unusually tired. Tc
escnpe a feeling of restlessness she hnd
determined to go tn bed. It was refreshing to He in the cool darkness.
But before sbe reached the top of the
nttlc stairs she felt tbe dry beat nf the
sun baked roof. The great, timbered
space, dark with Its nge blackened
beams und senntly windowed twilight,
held n strange odor nf cedut shingles,
of ancient lenther trunks, nf musty
papers. In tbe solemn dust the candle
lost Its bold glare and drooped to a
wavering spark, eyed by tbe glimmering grny panes of the gable windows
hlih under the ridge.
The two chimneys, like hnce stone
nliints whom she hud been feeding all
day. stooped over her us tbey towered
toward the roof, reminding her of tomorrow's kitchen work.
As Mary snt nn the edge of her cot.
thinking of these things, she looked up
vaguely A star, the first In tbe pale
night, shone through the window upon
her, clear, unwinking, pensive, holy.
A look of hnlr loosened hy the wind
flonted softly across her cheek like the
kiss of unseen lips. For the lirst time
In her life she felt the restless longing
for some good of which she was Igtiu.
rant Whnt wns It her simple, sweet
existence lacked? Hod she not every.
tblng that a girl could ask-rather.
mother, food and shelter, u place In
tbe world? What else had any oner
Thi aged farmer and his wife—those
two good people fast asleep without a
thought in tbelr nigbtcaps beyond the
potato crop—their daughter-in-law, the
men nt work in tbe fields, all those dependent on the great harvests, on the
bountiful farm—were tbey not bappy,
contented, unquestioning? Was Bhe
not happy too? Had sbe anything to
complain of, to regret to wish for?
Suddenly out of tbe hush enme the
cry of tbe wblppoorwlll, thnt piercing,
mournful voice of tbe vneutit wind
blown fields, of meadows flowering unseen and far away. It thrilled ber like
a pain. It stabbed her through and
through nnd cut her to the heart with
its questioning, solitary call, bidden in
tbe twilight of the woods.
She had heard It so often, yenr nfter
yenr, like the robin and tbe lark. Nev-
er had It sounded so lonely, so friendless and apart A strange longing
swelled up In her breast; tears filled
ber eyes. The years of her life, with
their simple tasks, their ambitions,
hopes nnd dreams, came to ber like
some vast tidal wave upon a sunny
shore, withdrawing in a long resounding slgb nt the absence of some unknown joy. She stared through the
warm darkness toward the edge of the
woods outlined ngalnst the evening as
though one should try to read tbe soul
of a silhouette. Then Bhe dropped bee
face in ber bands for a single minute.
At 0 o'clock in tbe morning Mary
was lu tbe garden picking the vegetables for dinner. The sunshiny, dew
fresh dny, the beans and cabbages in
their prim symmetry, the tall scarlet
hollyhocks nodding against tbe fence,
made the experience ot the night before very remote and visionary:
' As Mary reached the end of tbe row
of peas sbe pushed back ber sunbounet
and looked up; then ber song stopped,
and she knelt silently,
A young men was standing on tbe
otber side of the garden wall looking
at ber. He blushed as he met ber
steady, smiling gaze. "Picking peas?"
be asked. "You've got a lot, haven't
you?"
"Yes, indeed; plenty this year. Have
you?"
"All we can eat and more too. Get
ting old, tnougb. How are these?"
He crossed tbe wall and stood beside
her. "Yours are pretty tender yet"
He tore off another pod. "Shan't I
help you? Two cau work better than
one."
"Ub, thank you; you needn't bother."
Yet she smiled ut bim.
■>Ub. 1 like to do this. I'll take tho
Inside of the row."
"It's very kind of you," she answered, looking up at him sweetly.
How brown and strong and sinewy
he hud grown since be bad begun to
work in tbe harvest flelds! Sbe bad
not seeu blm for a long while, not since
they were iu school together. She was I
looking at blm ngaln wben be glanced
up and caught her eyes. This time
they both blushed. Tbey said nothing
for some time. Mary picked busily,
and the boy whistled halt to himself.
They were beside each other, witb
nothing betweeu them but tbe slender
trellis of pea vines, enough to give the
boy courage to say, "Did you hear tbe
wblppoorwlll last night?"
Mary felt a flash that made ber
nerves tingle.
"Oh, did you, too?" she exclaimed,
then stopped, abashed at ber own
eagerness. How could Alvy under
stand the confession sbe bad made to
a wblppoorwlll just because it was un-
seen': ''Where was It?" she asked, |
wltb all tbe carelessuess she could.
summon.
"Down tn the wood lot about half1
past 8. I was coming borne 'cross lots
back of yonr barn; been up at the
other farm all day."
They were picking slowly now. How
pretty Mary was with her braided yellow balr. ber rose pink ears, her
smooth lidded, down drooping eyes!
Alvy felt his heart throb dizzily. So
many words and thoughts went round
and round In his head thnt be could
not sny one. And there was the screen
of brush nnd vines between them. Tbe
delicate film of green was strong as a
prison grille, through whlcb tbe serene
face of tbe girl showed upon blm.
Somehow tbelr hands met upon the
same pods. Mary's trembled, then lay
still In his.
"I saw you up on the roof." whispered the boy. "You were listening,
weren't you?"
Mary nodded.
"Do you—do you like to hear It
Mnry? Do you like the wblppoorwlll?"
Mary's lip trembled. "I don't know. I
guess so."
"Beenuse he—he loves you. Mary."
"Mary, Mary, where are you?"
The two In tbe garden sprang up aa
the shrill voice called from the kitchen. As the boy leaped over tbe fence
into his own orchard Mary looked after hlm. From the trees among wblcb
be disappeared came clear, low and
sweet tbe call of tbe wblppoorwlll.
VETERAN LAW-MAKERS
FEW    OF    CANADA'S    ORIGINAL
LEGISLATORS SURVIVE.
Australia and the Chinese.
Australia Is perturbed by the discoveries of Mr. Batchelor, the commonwealth minister for external affairs,
who has been Inquiring Into the illegal
Influx of Chinese. There Is a wealthy
organization In China with agencies In
nil the principal Australian ports, and
with the connivance of ships' officers
the systematic smuggling nf Chinese
Into Australia has been cnrrled on for
n long time. The ships trading between llonglopi; nnd the Australian
ports have been so cunningly supplied
with fnlse bulkheads, walls and floors
that hiding room baa been provided
for eighty Chinese stowaways on a
single voyage. Ship conks hnve been
secretly paid tn supply the stowaways
with food. The trade Is very profitable, as Australia Is only a few days'
steaming from China, and many thousands of Mongolians nre always ready
to pay large sums nnd run all sorts of
risks to get to the land of gold.-Chl-
cago News.
Eight Who Dined Recently at Ottawa
Are Nearly All Who Are Able to
Go About—Story of the First Federal Election — Assassination of
George Brown—He Waa One of the
Hardest Workers for Confederation
Of the score or so of men who sat
in the first Parliament of the Dominion of Canada and who have not
yet passed over to the great majority,
eight sat down to dinner not long ago
in the restaurant of the House of
Commons as guests of the Canadian -
Club of Ottawa. Among the other
guests were the Prime Minister, the
Louder of the Opposition, and several
oilier members from both Houses.
Five of the eight veterans are members oi tlio present, the eleventh Parliament oi Cunuda, so that they dined
with political associates ol forty years
ago and those of to-day. Among the
surviving veterans are several oi the
most prominent members of thut first
Parliament, which, as Earl Grey ap>
ly said, rocked the cradle in which
reposed the Confederation baby. Several of them sat down that day to
uinner, others were absent, in all
probability destined never to meet
again. Two who were missed were
Sir Charles Tupper and the Hon. Edward Bloke. For many years they
were conspicuous figures in the political arena, but their battles are over
and their armor laid aside.
In the list of names of surviving
members of that first Parliament published in one of the newspapers,
strange to say, the name of Sir
Charles was omitted, a remarkab.e
omission to make, when every history
of Confederation mentions the fact
that Sir Charles (Dr. Tupper then)
was the only supporter of the new
order of things elected in Novu Scotia. Cumberland stood firm against
the anti-Confederation tide, electing
Dr. Tupper by the rather narrow majority of 87. Perhaps the error occurred by not remembering that although he was not taken into the
Cabinet at its formation, he was in
the House from the first. A portfolio was offered Dr. Tupper when
Sir John Macdonald was choosing
his Ministers, but with greut unselfishness it was refused in order
that it might be given to a representative of another element of the population.
The elections that returned the
members of that flrst Federal Parliament were held during the late*
summer and early autumn of 1867.
Those elections brought many surprises. One wns the defeat in Norlh
Ontario of the Hon. George Brown,
one of the Fathers of the then Infant Confederation, the leader of the-
Clear Grits, und a man who durii'g
the preceding twenty years had hi d
so much to.do with the making nnd
unmaking of Ministries as any mnn
living. It was Brown's last election
cnmpr.ign, and like his first, it end "il
in defeat. The first was fought in
Haldimand, and the memorable feature of it is the fact that the Grit-
leader was defeated by the penitent
nnd pardoned rebel leader, William
Lyon Mackenzie. "The contest was
en exciting one," writes Mr. Charles"
Lindsay in his Life of William Lyon
Mackenzie, "and created widespread
interest oh account of the politic I
prominence ol the candidates, both
of whom belonged to the Reform p*T-
ty, which, at that time, was composed of groups or sections not fully
in accord on some of the questions of
the day. The result of this election
caused n certain amount of estrangement between Brown and MackemK
which wns never wholly removed, o*i
account of Mackenzie's independence
in the Assembly' and otherwise."
It has just turned twenty-nine years,
since George Brown's life came to n
close. His end waB tragic, for he-
wns the victim of an assassin's revolver, Bennett, the man who killet
George Brown, had been employed in
the engine-room of The Globe pricing house, but had been discharged
for intemperance. On the afternoon
of March 25, 1880. Bennett enter**'!
the private office of Mr. Brown, presented a paper for the latter to sip--,
Btating that Benn»tt had b"»n in the
employ of The Globe for five year",
Bennett was told to go to the head of
the department in which he hnd b»en
employed, but Bennett replied thct
the head of the department had re- ,
fused to give the certificate. He was.
then told to npply to the tretrtuiT
of the comonny, but he kept insisting
that Mr. Prown should sign the paper, and finally he began to fumbte
in hia pistol-pocket, whereupon it occurred to Mr. Brown, to use his owi
words, "thnt the little wretch might
be meaning to shoot me." Bennett
got out his pistol but Mr. Brown seized the man's wrist and turned his
hand downward. One shot was fired
in the struggle, the bullet passin*-;
through the outer side of Mr. Brown's
left thigh.
The report of the pistol and Mr.
Brown's cries for help instantly
brought nsBistance from the editorial
rooms. Among the first to arrive were
Mr. Avern Pardoe, now librarian of
the Ontario Legislature; Mr. Archibald Blue, head of the Census Bureau
at Ottawa; and Mr. John A. Ewan,
now leader writer on The Globe.
The wound was not considered to-
be mortal, and for n number of days,
but against the advice of his physicians, Mr. Brown transacted business
in his room; but as April wore away
the case beean to look serious. Periods of delirium occurred, and then
the wounded mnn became unconscious. Early on Sunday, May 10,
George Brown passed away. Almost
a third of a century has flown since
then, and most of the men who work.
ed witli George Brown in public life
or who fought againBt him ure no
more; but his name is not forgotten,
nor will his career ever cease lo be n
matter oi interesting study to those
who would understand the lone struggle in Canada for responsible government nnd the arduous nnd delicate
task of those who laid the foundations-
ui our Dominion. THE   REPORTER,   NEW   MICHEL,   BRITISH   COLUMBIA.
1UIY KIDNEYS HURT
MEALLTHETIMF
•Gin Pills Cured Them.    Free
Sample Box Leads to Cure.
Only those who hove been tortured
With Kidney Trouble can appreciate how
Mr. Trumper suffered. Being a railroad
man, he was called upon to do all kinds
of heavy work. The constant strain ot
lifting, weakened the kidneys.
J received the sample box of Gin Pills
and was greatly benefitted by them. My
kidneys were in such bad condition I
could not lift or stoop without pain. In
fact, they pained me nearly all the time.
I have taken three boxes of Gin Pills,
working all the time at heavy work on
the railroad and did not lose a day.
, 'FRANK TRUMPER, Napanee,Ont7.
Do sharp twinges catch you as you
Stoop T Are you subject to Rheumatism, Sciatica or Lumbago f Does your
Bladder give trouble t Take Gin Pills
on our positive guarantee that they will
cure you or money refunded, 50o a hot
—0 for $2.50. At dealers, or direct if you
cannot obtain from druggist.
Dept. N.U., National Drug & Chemical Co., Limited, Toronto. 117
A Reason
Mr. Marlow—I left two bottles of
whisky in the cupboard ten minutes
ago, and one of them has disappeared.
Can you account for that?
Bridget (under notice to leave)—
Shure, sorr, the cupboard waB so dark
I didn't see the other one 1
TOWN OF SOLD BRICKS.
Wealth Found In the Walls of Mexican Adobe Houses.
There are many remarkable towns
In Mexico, but none mure interesting than Guanajuato, "tbe hill of the
l'rog." It might more properly be
called the "gold brick town." for the
houses have been 'found to contain
much gold.
This is a curious situation, but it
came about naturally. Guanajuato-
pronounced Wah-nah-wahto—Is one of
(be oldest mining towns in Mexico, but
the value of the place as a town was
discovered when a railroad company
decided lo build a stntiou there, it
was found necessary to tear down
about 300 adobe buildings, which were
made of the refuse of various mines
after the ore was extracted.
Wben it became known that the old
adobe buildings would be lorn down
pieces taken at random were assayed
It wns found that because of tbe old
process, which left much gold and silver, they assayed froth $S to KM a ton.
The mean value was estimated to run
about $8 gold a ton.
Tbe old buildings have brought about
$30,000 Mexican. In gold, and persons
who hnve billlt since the new machinery has been Installed In tbe mines
nre bemoaning the fact that tbe new
bouses do not contain as mucb gold as
tbe old.
Red, Weak, Weary, Watery Eyes
Relieved by Murine Eye Remedy.
Compounded by Experienced Physicians. Murine Doesn't Smart; Soothes
Eye Pain. Write Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago, for illustrated Eye
Book.   At Druggists.
"Why do artists always sign their
pictures?" "It's an agreement they
have, so that nobody will be able to
blame one on someone else."—Cleveland Leader.
It Has Many Qualities.—-The man
who possesses a bottle of Dr. Thomas'
Eelectrie Oil is armed agains many
ills. It will cure a cough, break a
cold, prevent sore throat; it will reduce the swelling from a sprain, cure
the most persistent sores nnd will
speedily henl cuts nnd contusions. It
is o. medicine chest in itself, and can
be got for a quarter of a dollar.
"My good woman, is this son you
speak of adolescent?" "Mercy on us,
ma'am, he's just cranky."—Baltimore
American.
After making a most careful str, ?
of the matter, U. S. Governme-.t
scientists state definitely that th •
common house fly is the principal
means of distributing typhoid fever
diphtheria and smallpox. Wilsun r
Fly Pads kill the flies and the disease
germs, too.
By placing the stems of cut flowers
in a weak solution of sal ammonia
they may be kept fresh from fifteen to
thirty days.
MINARD'S LINIMENT is the only
Liniment asked for at my store and
the only one we keep for sale.
AH the people use it.
HARLIN FULTON..
Pleasant Bay, C. B.
On one of the new transatlantic
liners twenty-four bulkhead doors,
each weighing half a ton can be closed
from the bridge in thirty seconds by
hydraulic power.
Corns cripple the feet and make
walking a torture, yet sure relief in
the shape of Holloway's Corn Cure is
within reach of all.
A prominent man called to condole
with a lady on the death of her husband and concluded by saying: "Did
he leave you very much?" "Nearly
every night," was the reply.—Tit-Bits.
No other fly killer compares with
■Wilson's Fly Pads.
If a man could get his finances
straightened out he would be willing
to consider straightening out his
morals.
Keep Minard's Liniment in the house.
"To be in the swim I paid $4 ad
mission to henr that new pianist last
night." "Well, do you begrudge it?"
"Yes, I do. He turned out to be the
fellow I complained to the police for
thumping the pinno nil day and all
night in the next flat."—Judge.
rDODDS '
p KIDNEY
&'; PILLS .=
kKlDNEt
'GHT'S   Dl->
^"••BETES
USE 0F_PILLOWS.
A Habit That Is Unnecessary and at
Times May Be Harmful.
"Pillows are little more than a fad
and a rather harmful one at tbat,"
said a Germuutown doctor. "They
should, indeed, only be used by those
who sleep on tbelr sides, as they are
really Injurious to others. When you
sleep on your side your shoulder prevents your hend from lying level on
the bed, and pillows are useful to
raise the bead to this level.
"The natural and most healthful position for tbe ordinary person in sleeping is for one's head to be kept perfectly even. Just as it would be standing up. Now, for the one wbo lies on
bis buck while sleeping no pillow Is
needed to keep the hend in this position, and yet HO per cent of the persons wbo sleep on tbelr backs use pillows, while those who sleep on tbelr
sides use far more pillow tban is necessary.
"People get used to having their
beads and shoulders propped high up
and Imagine they could not sleep any
otber way; but, as a mntter of fact. If
they would try Weeping with little or
no pillow they would not only find tbnt
they would feel better In tbe morning,
but nlso would actually be more comfortable In bed and sleep much sounder thougbout tbe night"
W. N. U., No. 748.
At the Head.
It Is stnted In Mr. and Mrs. Pennell's
"Life of James Mnc.N'eill Whistler" In
that part which relates to bis brief
West Point career that tbe grent
American painter wns not "soldierly In
appearance, bearing or habit." Whistler's horsemanship Is sold to have
been bnrdly better tban bis scholarship. According to General Webb, It
was not wholly unusunl for him nt
cavalry drill to go sliding over his
horse's bend.- On such occasions Major Snckett, then in command, would
call out:
"Mr. Whistler, aren't you a little
ahead of the squad?"
According to Whistler's version to
the Pennells, Major Sackett's remark
was:
"Mr. Whistler, I am pleased to see
you for once at tbe bead of your
class."
She Almost Remembered.
Little Josephine, nged four, was Intently studying tbe pictures in a book
and seemed very much interested in a
picture of Charles Dickens.
Taking the book to ber mother, she
Inquired who it was.
"Tbat is Dickens, dear," said ber
mother.
The picture wss wonderfully foscl-
nntlng to the little girl, and wben her
big sister came from college In tbe
evening sbe ran and got the book,
turned to the picture and said:
"Sister, see! Tbls is a picture of Mr.
Darn."
Her sister replied, "So, dear, that
is Mr. Dickens."
"Well," said Josephine, "I knew it
was wnie kind of a swear word."-De-
llneator.
Concrete Church.
"Colonel, we wnnt a contribution
from you to help build a mission
church."
"Judge, yon know well enough thnt,
while I am In sympathy with morality
and religion, I don't believe In churches
In the abstract, and"—
"Neither do I, colonel. We're going
to build tbls one of concrete."
Changed Her Mind.
Nearsighted Lady—The boy who is
trying to tie that tin enn to that poor
dog's tall ought to be thrashed within
an Inch of his life—the horrid little
brutel Maid-It's your boy, mum,
Nearsighted Lndy-My boy? Mold-
Yes, mum. Nearsighted Lady-Tell
hlui If he'll stop I'll give hlm some
cake.
A Frank Confession,
Watchmaker—Your wntch seems tn
be erratic. Hnve you hnd It near a
powerful magnet? Customer (confus-
edl-Why, I was csrrlage riding last
evening with Miss Bright-Jewelers'
Circular.
There Is a fellowship among the virtues hy which one great, generous Impulse stimulates snotbsr.-Qarneld.
INDIGESTION CURED
EVIDENCED! PLENTY
Your Neighbors Can Tell You of Cures by
Dr. Williams' Pink Fills.
Every case of indigestion, no matter how bad, can be cured by Dr.
Williams' Pink Pills. Not only cured,
but cured for good. That's a sweeping statement and you are quite
right in demanding evidence to back
it. And it is backed by evHence in
plenty—living evidence among your
own neighbors, no matter in what
part of Canada you live. Ask your
neighbors and they will tell you of
people in your own district who have
been cured by Dr. Williams' Pink
Pills, of dizziness, palpitation, sour
stomach, sick headaches, and the internal pains of indigestion. Dr. Williams' Pink Pills cure because they
strike straight at the root of all
stomach troubles. They make new,
rich blood, and new blood is just
what the stomach needs to set it rght
and give it strength for its work.
Mrs. Geo. E. Whitened, Hatfield
Point, N. B., says: "I am glad to
have an onportunity to sneak in favor
of Dr. Williams' Pink Pills, for they
deserve all the praise that can be
given them. I waB a great sufferer
from indigestion, which wns often
accompanied hy neausea, sick headache and backache. As a result my
complexion was very bad and I had
black rings under the eyes. I took a
great deal of doctor's medicine, but
it never did more than give me the
most temporary relief. About a year
ago I was advised to give Dr. Williams' Pink Pills a trial. Before I
had taken a couple of boxes I found
relief, and by the time I had used
a half dozen boxes I found myself
feeling like a new woman, with a
good appetite, good digestion, and a
clenr complexion. I can strongly recommend Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for
this trouble and advise similar suf.
ferers to lose no time in taking them."
Dr. Williams' Pink Pills cure all
the troubles which have their origin
in had blood. That is why they cure
anaemia, indigestion, rheumatism,
eczema, St. Vitus dance, partial paralysis, and the many nilments of girl,
hood and womanhood. Sold hy all
medicine dealers or sent by mail at
50 cents a box or two boxes for S2.50
by writing The Dr. Williams' Medicine Co., Brockville, Ont.
How About It?
De Style—Yes, my wife is like most
other women, in that she can't take a
joke.
Guubusta—Well, then, how did she
come to marry you?
THE SEPARATION.
Why One Viotlm Lost Faith In Side
Whiskered Brethren.
"Uh-whllst yo' was gone," said
Brother Smothers, relating tbe news
to.Brother Buckaloo, who had been on
a journey, "a gen'leman 'peared on de
scene yub wld de noration dat be was
a elurryvoyant and de seventh son o'
suppln—I dunnah what—and was
gwlne to hold a secession in de lodge
hall and sbow signs and wondubs for
de modest sum o' two bits for folks
and 10 cents for betwixt sized cbll-
d'en; po'tly pussonage, wld a striped
vest and woolly Bide whiskers, and
'bout the shade, he was, of de opposite
side of a fish."
"Wisht I'd a-been dar," enviously
remarked Brother Buckaloo.
"Wisht yo' had, sah, uh-kaze I likes
sympathy. "Well-uh, de side whiskered gen'leman took de money nt de
do', and de house was plumb packed,
and den he blowed out de lights and
'nouneed In a grizzly voice for everybody to set right still, ub-kaze for de
fust spearmint be was ub gwlne to
whirl in and separate delr souls fum
delr bodies."
"Mum-mum-muh Lawd, sah! Did he
do It?"
"Not so's yo* could notice it. We
dess sot and sot and waited and waited, and blmeby a gamblln' man dot
wasn't skeered begun to snawt, and
den he lit n light, and, behold, the puh-
fessah was gone! He'd done separated
us sinabt growed folks fum our two
bits apiece and de innycent chlld'en
fum deir dimes and was gone fum us.
Dat's all dar was to it. 'ceppin' it
clinches de sneakln' s'plclon I's bad
for, lo. dese many days dat a nigger
wld side whiskers dess natu'ally kaln't
be rlght"-St Louis Post-Dispatch.
A WINDSOR LADY'S APPEAL
To All Women: I will send free,
with full instructions, my home treatment which positively cures Leucor-
rhoea, Ulceration, Displacements,
Falling of the Womh, Pninful or Irregular Periods, Uterine nnd Ovarian
Tumors or Growths, nlso Hot Flushes,
Nervousness, Melancholy, Pains in
the Head, Back or Bowels, Kidney
nnd Bladder Troubles, where caused
hy weakness peculiar to our Bex.
You can continue treatment at home
at a cost of only about 12 cents a
week. My book, "Woman's Own Medical Adviser," also sent free on request. Write to-day. Address Mrs
M. Summers, Box H.I., Windsor. Ont.
The ex-sultan is said to be safe, but |
there are no life insurance agents
rushing to his door trying to tie him
up with a $360,000 policy.—Montreal
Star.
Ask for Mlnard's snd take no other.
In Suburbs
"How do you like your new neighbors?"
"I haven't called on them. I didn't
like the look of their furniture as it
was being carried in."
How is a Cold
To be Cured
When It has reached   the chest,   is
developing Into bronchitis and threatens to become pneumonia.
There's no time for delay or experi-
menting-lt's time to use Dr. Chase's
Syrup of Linseed and Turpentine.
It seems too bnd that there is hot
more  pain  ami   suffering   associnh"!
with a cold, for then there would 1»
less tendency to neglect treatment.
So gradually and stealthily does a
cold pass from its simpler form of n
cold in the head into inflammation f.f
the bronchial tubes and then on to tho
lungs that many do not realize their
condition until pneumonia is upon
them.
Ordinarily, of course, the cold ii
thrown off, but with the system run
down and weakened there is every ren-
son to expect that a cold will end
seriously.
Why should not every cold be taken
seriously nnd Dr. Chase's Syrup of
Linseed nnd Turpentine used before a
severe illness is upon you.
There aro many reasons why you
should use Dr. Chase's Syrup of Linseed and Turpentine. It is more thorough und far-reaching in its effects on
the system thnn nny mere cough medicine can possibly be. It keeps the
cough loose anil open, it nids expectoration and allays tlio Inflammation,
It does more than this. It cures flic
cold ns well ns the cough. It is direct,
positive and almost specific in action
Mrs. Geo. Good, Tichborne, Adding-
ton Co., Ont., writes: "It is with
pleasure that I certify to the wonderful success of Dr. Chase's Syrup ol
Linseed and Turpentine ns a cure for
colds. It is the beBt and surest treat-
ment for coughs and colds that we
hnve ever been able to find." 25 cts. a
bottle, at all dealers, or Edmonson,
Bates & Co., Toronto.
VISITING CARDS.
Names and Messages Used to Be
Scribbled on Playing Cards.
It Is somewhat curious that so useful an invention as the visiting card
should bare been unknown to society
until comparatively recent times. Yet
160 years ago the carte de vlslte did
not exist The belles of the seventeenth century used nothing In the
shape of a name card, or "ticket,"
as it was afterward called. Invitations to routs and drums as well as
names and addresses were written
across the backs of playing cards,
wblch in those days were made with
a white reverse and Innocent of the
Intricate pattern familiar to us in
modern times.
Mary Wortley Montagu, a lady of
ton, says the Connoisseur, would be
apt to use a red playing cord—a queen
of hearts—for ordinary social purposes,
while an amorous beau Inscribed his
name and tbe most tender ot Inquiries
on the bnck of a jack of spades. Tbe
great world of the seventeenth and
eighteenth centuries wos a small
world. It was rigidly exclusive. Living in the same quarter of the toWn.
the quality sent each other scribbled
messages by tbe band of a favorite
page. Society, in a word, was informal in the midst of stately formalities, and we have no difficulty In believing the Comtesse de Bolgne wben she
tells us that In 1800 Lady Harlngton
used to trot up and down Bond street
picking np guests for a party for the
same night.
Quite Simple.
It Is told, no matter on whnt authority, that a telephone company In Chl-
cogo has no end of trouble with its
wires. They were continually out of
order. Nobody seemed to know why.
An Investigation wns started.
Most of the subscribers tn the territory where the trouble was were
Poles, Hungarians, Russians, etc. An
expert nfter due consideration of the
matter decided tbat tbe wires were
unable to withstand the onslaughts of
languages like Polish, Hungarian, Bus-
slan, etc.
"Can you suggest a remedy?" asked
the officials of tbe telephone company,
"Certainly," answered the expert.
"Substitute barbed wire."
The suggestion was followed. There
was no more trouble.
To Spade It Up or to Plow M
I am not sure but that the spaded
garden has some advantage over tbe
plowed one. Tbe soil can be turned up
just where you want It and as you
want it by the use of tbe spade, while
tbe plow works alike throughout the
garden, though the soil may vary In
depth and unture to a considerable extent. A spaded garden always looks
best nt the beginning, and looks count
In gardening ns well as elsewhere.
Bnt the gardener who hns a liking for
neatness will make bis garden look
well after n little In spite of all obsta-
clcs.-"Home Garden," by Ehen E. Ilex-
ford.
THE QUEER RUSSIANS.
They Are Kindly and Cruel at One and
the Same Time,
No one can be long associated with
Russians without reaching a condition
of utter amazement at the extraordinary inconsistency of tbelr mental
makeup. The kindiest of men seem
to receive placidly the most blood
curdling doctrines. Tbey enforce the
cruelest of laws in fhe gentlest way, oi
vice versa. An odd tale Illustrating
their queer ideas of discipline is told
by a revolutionist who haB Just come
to this country. By those who ought
to know it is said to be typical of a
singular simplicity of mind whicb is
aUo said to be peculiar to the Russians.
A follower of Tolstoy was called on
for military service. He presented
himself to the army officers, as requlr
ed, and explained that he could not
serve because of his beliefs.
"Ah," said the officer in charge politely, "but you understand that this
means prison?"
"Of course."
"You will be sent," continued the officer, "to the Caucasus," naming a
prison of dreadful repute. "Tbe guard
will have to start at once witb you."
He turned to several other officers
and discussed the matter of tbe guard
for a few minutes. Then be had a
happy thought
"Why send a guard at all?" he said.
"You." turning to the young man-'*you
can find your way there alone, can't
you?"
"Yes."
"Well, then, tbat saves a lot of trouble." exclaimed tbe officers, delighted
So they wrote him a careful letter of
introduction to the governor of the
prison, explaining that tbe bearer was
to be locked up as soon as he arrived
In a most unpleasant cell.
"That's all right," tbey said tn grent
satisfaction. "We hope your journey
won't be too tiresome." And they parted with great cordiality.
The young man did as he was told
and Is now in prison. Tbe chances
nre probably even that he and tbe governor will become sincere friends or
that nn order to put him to death will
arrive nnd be executed in the same
Impersonal, eminently Russian manner.
—New York Times.
Compressed Haversack Rations.
A Tonawanda (N, Y.) firm recently
completed a sample order of 3.000
packages of compressed haversack rations for the use of the United States
army. The rations nre packed in a
water tight box 2% incbes long, 214
inches wide and Uf, inches thick. Tbe
articles contained are: Salt, .16 ounce;
pepper. .02 ounce; sugar, 2.4 ounces,
and coffee, 1.12 ounces, sufficient for
one soldier for a day. Tbe coffee 1b
compressed tinder twelve tons pres.
sure and is reduced one-third in bulk.
Tbe salt le gyepared under fire tons
pressure, and tbe pepper is placed In a
capsule inserted'In n wooden bolder.
Each article is wrapped In waterproof
paper.—New York Tribune.
How Henry Knew.
It was while H. H. Rogers, the
Standard Oil magnate, was working at
his first job, delivering the village
newspaper, that his Inborn capacity
became evident He brought in tbe
name of a new subscriber, Isaiah
West Mr. Anthony, tbe publisher,
wrote down the name. Tben be turned to the boy. "How do you spell
Isaiah. Henry?" he asked. "1-s-s-l-o-h,"
said Henry. "You'll do," ssld Mr.
Aotbouy, with a chuckle. He told tbe
story to a skeptic neighbor. "But bow
did you know how to spell It, Henry?"
asked tbe neighbor. "1 saw blm
write it down," said Henry.—Argonaut
New Parisian Terror,
We are threatened—at least we are
threatened in London, for we bave It
already In Paris-wlth a fearsome novelty In barrel organs. An lugeuious descendant of Mepblstopheles has Invented a piano organ which is built
on tbe lines of an automatic match
machine. Its proprietor plsces It outside a bouse and goes around tbe cor
ner.
The organ begins to play, and on top
of It appears a notice, "Put a penny in
tbe slot and the music will stop." A
penny buys only three minutes' silence,
though. Hns anything more diabolical
yet been Invented V-London Standard.
Radium and Vaccine.
An Italian physician wbo exposed
fresh vaccine virus to the emanations
of radium for varylug periods and
then made use of It In vaccinating
children found that there waa no ef-
A Courteous Boy.
"Would you rather for your mother
or rae to whip you?"
"I dislike to show favoritism, father," said little Clarence. "You and
mother bnd better settle the matter
between you by flipping a coIn."-Blr-
mlngham Age-Herald.
j feet on tbe uctlon of tbe virus pro-
! duced by tbe exposure to the rays,
' but thnt the pustules produced by tbe
virus were entirely free from nny septic suppuration. Tbere wns no Inflammatory area and uo fever. He
finds (but tbls Is an efficient method
of purifying vaccine virus, but on account of the expense of nullum not
one that can be commonly followed.—
II I'ullcllnlco.
Would He?
It bnrdly seems probable tbnt a man
should suffer from corns on n wooden
leg, but if the leg Is made of oak
would It not be natural thnt tbere
should be acorn on lt?-Lundon Punch.
A Dear Victory.
"In your little family arguments do
you ever succeed In convincing youf
wife that sbe Is wrong?"
"Yes, but afterward 1 always deeply
regret having done so."
Wbstever we conceive clearly we
express with ease, and words Hot?
With ease.-Bolleao.
How a War Set a, Fashion.
The calabash pipe Is one of the nfter
results of the South African war. To
supply the demand to which popular
tns'.e hns given rise quite un Industry
has grown up In Smith Africa, where
the farmers are regularly planting calabash specially for pipes, while plant
Ing l-> .ilr-ently being carried out in the
soiiih of Prance and even in Australia—Tobacco World.
At the Box Office.
"Give mc two seots, center orchestra,
fifth row, for Oct. 20,1012."
"Are you crazy?"
"Very likely, but I thought I might
get ahead of your speculators on the
sidewalk."
THE DOSE IN TIME
THAT MYED NINE
DODD'S   KIDNEY   PILLS   CURED
DAN McGEE'S BACKACHE.
He Used the Old Reliable Kidney
Remedy and found a speedy and
complete cure for his trouble.
James River, Antigonish Co., N.S,
(Special).—It has again been proven
in the case of Mr. Dan McGee, a well
known farmer living near here, that
backache is only a symptom of kidney trouble, and that Dodd's Kidney
Pills cure it quickly and completely.
"I suffered from Backache for two
months," Mr. McGee states. "It
started from a strain and grew steadily worse. I also had occasional attacks of Lumbago. I was always tired
and at times my eyes were puffed
and swollen. Tn the mornings I had
a hitter taste in my mouth.
"Then I decided to try Dodd's Kidney Pills, and the result is that to-day
lama well man. I advise all persons
suffering from Backache or Lumbago
lo use Dodd's Kidney Pills."
Mr. McGee caught his Kidney Disease in its early stages, and Dodd's
Kidney Pills cured it almost at once.
Neglected Kidney Disease develops
into Rheumatism, Dropsy, Bright's
Disease or Heart Disease. Dodd's
Kidney Pills will cure any and all
of these.
Where Ignorance is Bliss
Mistress—Look here, Susan, I can
write my name in the dust upon this
table.
Susan — Ah, mum, there's nothing
like eddication, is there, mum?
Attacks of cholera and dysenterv
come quickly, there seldom being any
warning of the visit. Remedial action
must be taken just as quickly if ihe
patient is to be spared great suffering
and permanent injury to the lining
membranes of the bowels. The readiest preparation for the purpose iB Dr.
J. D. Kellogg'o Dysentery Cordial. It
can be got at small tost at any drug
store or general dealer's, and it will
afford relief before a doctor can he
called.
Why She Knew
She—Mr. Reid is a man ot superior
intelligence.
He—How do you know tnat?
She—Because he admitted that I
knew more than he did.
$100 Reward, $100.
The readers ot this paper will bo pleased to leers
that tben U at least one dreaued dlsena. -nat srieuoe
baa been able to cure In all lu slai-a, and tbat IB
Catarrh. Hall's Catarrh ''nre I. '..»■ ouly positlre
cure now known to tbe medical fraternity. Catarrh
belQK a constitutional disease, requires a constitutional treatment. Hall's Catarrh Cure te taken Internally, adlne directly upon the blood and raucous
surfaces of the system, thereby deatroytne tbe
foundation ot the disease, and Riving the patient
strength by building; up the constitution and assisting nature In doing Its work. Tbe proprietors bave
so much faith in lu curative powers that tbey egsr
One Hundred rollers lor any ease tbat It UUl SB
cure.   Send Ior list ol testimonials
Address F. J. CHENEY * CO., Toledo, a
Sold by all DruKRlsU. 78c.
Take BaU'a family rule for conatlpetloa.
Mrs. Gillet—So there is a tablet in
your transept to her memory. Did she
do anything to bring people into the
church?
Mrs. Perry—Well, she wore a new
hat every Sunday for three years.
If allowed to roam over your house
those few innocent-looking house flies
may cause a real tragedy any day, as
they are known to be the principa-
agents for the spread ol those deadly diseases, typhoid fever, diphtheria
nnd smallpox.
A Safe Prophecy
Mrs. Jones—And you really mean
to tell me that a clairvoyant foretold
your late husband's death P
Mrs. Smith—Yea, indeed. She snid
there were brighter days in store for
me.
Queen's University
i  r  11 KINGSTON
and College Ontario
ARTS
EDUCATION
THEOLOGY
MEDICINE
SCIENCE (lncludin*, Engineering*)
Students  registering   lor  the  lirst
time before October 21st 1909, may
complete tbe Arts course without attendance.
For Colendars, write tha Retfistrai
OHO. Y. CHOWN, B.A..
Klnnt-M. OntaHft
VERMIN DEATH
Is n beautiful brown wood
stain for floors nnil other un-
palnted wood work, that will
effectually exterminate
BED BUGS
It can he  rubbed  over any
paint or varnish except white
paint.
It will not rust metal anil can
he rubbed with a cloth over
bed  springs  if  vermin  infest
the bedsteads.
Hns a slight tarry odor, which
passes off In a few days.
$2.00 PER GALLON.
If your   storekeeper does not
keep it, write Sales Manager,
CARBON OlWORKS, LM.
WINNIPEG,   CANADA.
Manufacturers of  "COWL  BRAND"
Oil Specialties. THE   REPORTER,   NEW   MICHEL,   BRITISH   COLUMBIA.
•ifHErMICHEL REPORTER
NEW MICHEL, B. C,
OSiJRGE Q. JrJfllKI-E, -- MANAGING-EDITOR
Issued gvery Saturday, from office of
Publication, Northern Ave, Xejy Michel
1 SUBSCRIPTION TWO DOLLARS
A YEAR IN ADVANCE
ADVERTISING RATES ON APPLICATION
In and Around Town
PAY-PAY
When you get your' pay
'■ As you will to-day
And salt some down lor tlio winter,
Just get a hunch
And hold back a liniicli
To pay what you owe the primer.
side-
When are we to get those
walks'?
1 Board of Trade  meets  Tuesday
night next.
J. S. Gusty, of P. JBurns $ Co.,
was. here on Thursday.
Don't you think this town orjuld
afford a street sprinkler'?
: .That Sunday School convention
at %khe\ did not tome off. '
' LeSie Mills,  oi the Waldorf Hotel,
Fernipji was a caller hero on Tuesday. J* ■
Rev. A. B. N"' Prowther has
returned from his trip td Seattle.
A-jJ. Brady, of Fernie, came in
wife Pat Miller   on ' Wednpsday,
H.R. Huntington, of the Trites-
Wood Co., Fernie, was here on
Wednesday,
Mention the Reporter when dealing
with adversers. Tell them you saw it
in the Reporter.
H.. Watson and fi. W. Munroe,
of Calgary, were doing business here
on Wednesday.
Has that brass band project
dropped or may we look for some
mu6ij! before long ?,
W. C. B. Malison, Fernie, was
here this week looking after the interests of the Home Bank.
The Coal Company expect the
machinery for tho new compressor
plaru) to arrive any day now.
.T.:H. G. Murphy, of Swift Current, was registered at the Great
Northern Hotel on Tuesday.
HaiTy Ryan is in the Fernie Hospital jundergohig an operation and
treatment for his disabled arm.
A, B. Campbell, the genial
bookseller from Hosmer, was down
to see the baseball match on Tuesday.
Sid. Avniitnge and 1). Fleming,
Fernie, Bert Conway, Lethbridge,
and Oi Hallan, Spokane, were here
thipjo'eek.
Theltalian Society give their Sixth
Annual C'elobration on the Michel
Recreation Ground on Monday. They
are-nutting up a good program.
'     '"OW
II. -JT. Weber bus let the contract
toi-cmCying his present i.stpre to the
rear or Lot No. 1, Blqek IS, prepar-
itt<Jr^*i'*to the enecticjii' of his new
block.'
Jas;  Derbyshire,   late   supprin-
tendent" of Michel Collieries, has
retupned from his trip to the Old
Country, and is visitipg friends at
Michel,       \\
New Michel is. being grpatly improved in appearance by the painting of a large number-of private
residences, {is >vell .as business
houses. '■      ''-    ■ V '.
The Venerable Archdeacon Beer
of Kaslo (organizing - Missionary of
the diocese of I^obtpnay) will preach
'at St, Paul's on Sunday nfextf' at
:7,15p.m,
L, P. Eckstein, of Fernie, and Donald
E. MoTaggart, until recently ol Vancouver, have formed a partnership under
'the firm name of Eckstein & McTaggart
for the practise of their profession at
Fernie.' i,       i
D. McMillan, Sara Walter, L, A..
Mills, D, J. McDonald, C. E. Hall,
J. Henderson, J. McDougall, P. A.
Spe'llmari and C, Hicks,.of tbe Fernie Baseball Club,' -were registered
at tbe Great Northern oil  Tuesday.
There is just a little too much
furious riding and driving on the
streets here to suit the average citi-
zen,. Ifiyou lvaht. to speed/your
animals get out to ..the iprairie,
where. you-: won't have .the '.same
opportunity to run over- children
that yqu have here.     i .■    ii   '!
J. S. Ranlfine, special agent for
the Liverpool, \ London & Globe
Insurance Company, was here on
Tuesday.' He Wais specially pltesed
at the cleaning up the town' had
this spring, and; when our waterworks get into shape.hva can confidently'look for'a lowering of rates.
I   \.-±iJ±!H
One Cent a Wprd
Advertisement* pue|i as For pate, To Let, Lost
Foano Wanted etc., inserted at the .iiniform
rate or Olie'-Cent a \*/ord Each Insertion
FOR SALE
SMITH-PREMIER TYPEWRITER.   VI6IBLE. i
° II. P. Wblier..'
SUNDAY   SERVICES
Rosedale Dairy
Open for business on May 15th.
Fresh Milit'j Cream, Butter anil Eggs
Delivered daily to all parts of both
1      , ''■   I     ■'   1   '   i    A      '      '
ton'iis.       .'■     ; ■"".
A, C. MURRAY, ■ PROPRIETOR
J."j. SCQTT, "
GENERAL BLACKSMITH,
Ilorseshoeing a Specialty
' NEW MICHEL
BAILEY THE BUILDER,
BUILDER & CONTRACTOR
Estimates l-'nrnlslieil Free, on Short Notice,
NEW MICHEL
Coffins
In s|;ock and made to order
Fred, Pomahac,
NEW  MICHEL
METHODIST   CHURCH
MICHEL AND NEW MICHEL
SERVICES  EVERY  SUNDAY
NEW MICHiEL, 10.45 a. rii,-, iu room
over Somerton Bro'sstoro.
MICHEL, Sunday School, 2.30 p. m.
Evening service, at 7.80. £and of
Hope every, Moifday at 7.30 p.'m.
. -,. Uev. S. Cook, Pastor.
Thp pastor and officials extend a cordial
invitation to you to atlei*d these services. .
WEBER
New Michel
ST. PAUL'S CHURCH
MICHEL,   B. C- '"V  ■
Services—1st. - Sunday  in (the   month,
Holy Communion, U a.m.
Every   Sunday, -Evensong,'. 7.30 p.  m.
Sunday School, every Sunday, 2.30.p. m.
A. Briant N;Crowther, M. A., Vicar.
Union Bakery
G. SOVRANO, Proprietor
Oil) TOWN, -   -   7 MICHEL
Fresh Bread Delivered Daily
7
Sinclair the Tailor
Gent's Repairs
and alterations
pry cleaning a specialty
No. 901,'6ver''tli'e Creek.
Business Bringers
Reedlna Noticee Ineerted under this Heedlnt
at^tie' rate of Teh Cents a Line, each1 lneer-
tto'n.   No ads inserted amonast Locale.
SMOKE Crow's Nest Succlnl nnd Extra.
Made dual's.
alllPPINn Tans, printed to ordor, good touali
° stocK, at tlio Reporter oflico.
ENVELOPES. Any qtmntitr. cood stock, well
printed, attlli' Hi'linrlor olll(-c.
STATEMENTS. Printed mid   l'liddoil
wnnt tlieln. :il tho Reiun-tcr ollice.
T ETTEU Heads.   Plain or l'nncy.
Any color
ik.  i'rintad us yon like tliein ut tiie Rciim*-
ter offlco,
Any slxe mid any color Ink you <l0*h-o; I'rln-
ted nl tlio Reporter oilU'c.
PRINTING Ink. We ran decorate your nrlntliill
x jobs with any color or simile of tho finest Inks
ill the world. '-'or Sue color work send your
order to tiie Reporter.
GO
TO THE BALMORAL
HOUSE, if you want
Good Board.   :   :   :
Thoroughly overhauled and now
in first-class, comfortable shape.
Your patronage solicited,
Harry" Ryan
GENUINE
sing
'■•oAL
FOKo cylNOTHERj FEW DAYS, <AT
\D Er 1 UT Er Er. o
Call and See The Bargains
Riggest Chance to Buy Cheap, You Ever Were Offered
Red Letter Specials For
PAY=DAY
CASH
ONLY
CASH
ONLY
Children's Straws
lingular .36 to .50c., now 25
Children's Aprons
Hood Quality Gingham 25
Children's Dresses
from 50 cents to $3.00
20 per cent discount, to make room (or new shipment
100 Remnants
At prices that'll knock  any termor prices  off the
Christmas tree.
Ladies Black Mull Dresses
Regular $8.50, now $0.75
Ladies Medium Weight Underwear
:>tor $1.00
Men's Balbriggan Underwear
Per Suit...., , so
.95c
100 Men's Shirts
Including broken lots ol Fine Dress Shirts, NogligMa
Black Sateen and Colored Work Shirts.
.95c
Lot of Men's Silk Ties
Must be sold to-day.   Regular .50 and ,(15c.
NOW • ;j-j
3!ot $1.0(1
6 Suit Cases
$5.00 Value, at       $;),••'>
Ruben's Vests for children
Fine Cashmere Wool         or,
WEBER
NEW MICHEL
The Little Store With Big Bargains
SECRETARIES
Jf there is no Unjon Printing
Officein'yp.ur town, sendyour
work to the Reporter Qfficp,
Hew Jiiqhel, and have it done
by the man who' Unionized
thes First Printing Office in the
Pass, and have your jobs dec-
prated with that
BADGE QF HONOR
-THE -
The  Sumniii
An {deal Summer Resort
At Crow's Nest
This hotel, situated at Crow's
Nest, about eight miles from
Michel, is just the place to
spend a week end and enjoy
yourself. Good boating, bathing, fishing and big menage
erie and museum. Fine place
to go to, to got away from the
daily grind, Leave on Saturday eveuhig's express and
back Monday morning in time
for business.
Reasonable charges.
Andy flood, Proprietor
60  YEARS'
EXPERIENCE
Trade Marks
Dmionb
Copyrights He
AnrotlOspmllnjl n nltolcl, and <w-; im l.in inty
anfoklr ascertain our opinion fiuu wliotlicr u
iDT.nMon Is r-rcihslilv iintonlchlc. PommanlosM
MonsslrlotlTdnnlldoilMnl. HAIIDDOQa OnPaUnUs
■ont frne. OMnst Bitoncr fur ioounnB lialonts,
l'nlnnu tnkun tliruunh Mnnu ,v, Co. rucolva
sptclot notice, without cli-irne, la tho
Scientific flmtrftn.
* ■|«ni1i— '" "*-■
ItlUI
DOW
JN
A !it.nilriomuiy Ulu8tr«t«ti wuokl/,  Wmtst dr-
cuUiluu of any HClontina joumnl.   'J'oriim for
 'ii.ri.75 a your, (HiBtmto pnipuld,   Buld br
rTiKtcRlers.
=s^
Form I^'o. 1.
WATER NOTICE
VOTIOi; I§ irERKUY GIVEN than nn applica-
11 tion will bo made uiuler Part V of the
'Water Ac], liKh)" to obtain a Hconso in the
Cmnbronk* Water District. ' • •   •
ta) TliPiinnift, uddross and oociipntiqn of the
applicant:' TliOJlichol Water, Light nnd Power
Cotnpany, Lhnitpd.' of New Michel,!!. U. 'Capital mm. ihvidt'd into5000shares of JlOiOOoacli.
Amount paid up, '  <
(b) The name, ofthelakn, stream or Hourcn
(if unnamed, the description -is): Aqunduct
Creek on north side of-O.N. My, traek, in the
vieinity of Mielml Quarry, nbout one mllo west
of NewMiciffil Townsite.i        ■;■['•
tc) Tlio point of diversion: A point approximately 500 feet above Michel Quarry.
td) Tho (.uantlty of- water applied for (in
cubic feet per .second):   Four cubic feet. ;
(e) The character of tho proposed works:
A crib and stoiurwork dam to impound approximately onc-lentli of an acre feet, to be constructed at the point of diversion. It is proposed to
acquire two acres of hind for reservoir purposes,
from the Crow's Nest 1-assCoal Company, Ltd.,
by purchase.
(f) The premises on which the wnter is to be
used (describe iyme): T'lie townsito of New
Michel, and proposed additions thereto:
t«) Tlio purposes for which the wiito*1 is to be
used:   Domestic und lire purpose,}.
0i * The Meiuonilulltm of Association authorizes the Company (a) To cohstruct and operulc
a water-works system to supply water to tlio unincorporated locality of (Hanoi, together with
the lands in the'vfcliiity thereof in the district of
East Kootemly.in the I'rovlnco of llritish Columbia, lb) To sink wells and shafts, and to
malto build and construct lay down and maintain reservoirs, puinp-hoiises and pumping works
cisterns* culverts and llltcr beds, main aud other
pipes and appliances, audio execute and do all
other works and tilings necessary or convenient
for obtaining, storing, selling, delivering, measuring and distribtil ing water or otherwise for the
purposes of tho Company, tc) To exorcise nil or
any of the rights, powers, privileges and prior-
itles'In and by'"the Water Act, 1 SOU "or nny
amendments thereto, created, granted nnd con-
ferrod upon any companies incorporated for tho
construction or operation of waterworks, or the
supply and utilization of water:
wasp water to be turned Into Michel Crook.
IJ) Area of Crown ltmd intended to be occupied by the proposed works: Tho streets of
Now Michel, and the (iovortunent road for
about oue mllo north west of New Michel town-
site to the Routlierly end of snid townsito,
Ik) This notice whs posted on the 7th dny of
•fuly- lOOU, and application will be made to the
commlsr-.iimer on Monday, the Htb day of August. 100U ill two o'clock In the afternoon.
til Hive the mimes nnd addresses of any rlpnr-
iiMiproprietorsor licensees wbo or whose lands are
likely" tobeaiTecleiiby the proposed works,either
nboveor below the outlet: Tho Ctqw'B, Nest
Past Coal Comimuy, Limited.
[signaturel MiOHKt Watbb, LfQiTrA PowehCo.
Pert!. B. Hledinan
[P. O. Address] NEW MIOHBk B. C.
P6rtn 61 Notice approved by the Wutor Com-
mlssannor, 2nd July, iflou.
Notices to he posted In I wo conspicuous places
in the tOWnsltO of New Mtche).
J, F. Armstrong,
Water Conimlssioner
Estitbrook Bro*a. have the oon-
tract to move Weber's Htore. .
U. .J. Black, of Fernie, wna at
the Great Northern on Thursday.
Fred J. Scott, of Vancouver, wa.B
here t-hjfl week in the interest of
Henderson'H Directory.
An engine nnd twelve vnr* were
litrheil near LuntlbriRck on \Yednerfday,
cntlBed '\v ii brokiMi rail. The enginoer
was rievrn-ly injured nnd in in tlio
McLeod Hospital.
Kid Healer, oifampion lightweight
of tin; Northwest end Jack Mcl'';ir-
laridj of Butte, Montana, will box
at OrowVs nest on July 22. Battle
Lo go 20 rounds or a knoek-oul.
CANADIAN    PACIFIC
ftAJKWAY
Excursion Rates:
MICHEL
TO
SEATTLE
$26.40
Corresponding rates
from other points.
Tickets on sale daily
May 29th to Oct. 14tii
Final return limit 15 days,
but not later than Oct. 31.
For complete  information  apply  tfl
Agents, or write " *
J. K PROOTOK, D. P. A., Calgary
J'
Oil, Joy I
To-day when I got out out of lieil, .
I nearly jumped with joy,
And looking in the glass I snid,   -
" Shake hands with me, my boy!"
You ask why did I thus behave,   ,,
The reason's very slight,
It was—I hadn't got to shave,
I'd shaved mysolf lust night I
—La Touelie Hancock,
Michel's pay-roll for tliomonlli is
$00,000.
JIIss McBride, matron of Michel Hospital, and Rr. Mclntyrc, visited-jNew
Michel on Thursday. ■..'.-'
Michel will piny Imseball ,;jy^tli
Elko nt Elko on Sunday, and'witli
Fernie at Fernie on Tuesday. «,,i..
The Eagles give a Smoket". and
Concert in Martin's Hall, New
Michel, next Saturday night, July
21.
The deterred meeting of the Canadian Club will be held in New
Michel on Monday night owing to
Crulmn's Hull being engaged.

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