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Lowery's Claim Feb 1, 1906

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 V
���
NUMBER 30
NELSON. B. C. CANADA.
PRICE:  10 CENTS
ITReQDTTADV       1 Q(\f I-Claim will probably be selling at about
rEiOlWJrVlXl ,      1 71/O j the same price.    Lay in a stack while
::r^r=L���-. they are cheap.
LOWERY'S OLAIM ta published monthly
and sent to any part of the world, postpaid, for $1 a year. Address all letters  to
R.   T.   LOWBRY,
Canada. Nelson.   U.   U.
LOWERY'S CLAIM
lfl devoted to Truth, Humor and Justice, and is published monthly at Nel-
���on, B. C., Canada. It Is sent, postpaid, to any part of the world for $1
a year. Advertising rates are $2 an
inch each insertion.
L-owery'g Claim has never been raided by the sheriff, railroaded by an indignant populace, nor bulldozed by the
brokens who issue tickets on heaven
for a consideration. It does not believe
<in the fall of man, ne*r the hydra-headed god waved before a long-suffering
public by those who peddle theologic
dope, and subsist upon the fears and
-superstitions of the human race. It
believes in everything good, and hopes
that a method will yet be discovered
that will smelt all evil out of the world
and leave nothing but gold in the heart
of man. If you believe as we do send
in as many subscribers as possible so
that we can keep the press running until a process is discovered that will
jar all misery from this universe and
annex it to the flower gardens In the
New Jerusalem   .
R. T. LOWERY,
Editor  and   Financier.
Western civilization is moving eastward. Whiskey has been raised to 10
cents a shot in Brockville.
t
It pays to be a drummer in France.
One of them has just been left $2,000,-
000 by the death of a relative.
Canada is very prosperous just now
and the inhabitants should make pro
vision for the hard times that will come
in 1909.
politics, especially as he was on the
wrong side of the pap barrel. John
now autos with Schwab, and probably
has forgotten all about the race he
had with Bill away up in Kootenay just
a few years ago.
The same old story. The religious
party in Persia want concessions, and
last month martial law was declared
in Teheran. It seems hard to reach
God in any land without running into
a stack of guns or a barrel of rum bottles.
Do not knock.   You might break your
hammer.
Bacon and eggs Is a very popular
-breakfast food around Nelson.
In Canada just now the hockey stick
is mightier than the sword.
People will live much longer if they
do not smoke or drink while asleep.
In Canada there are probably not 500
people who do all their own thinking.
As a rule the butcher gets the sheep,
especially  when he  practices  surgery.
About 200 Siberian exiles settled in
Alberta last year, and already imagine
they are in heaven.
Old things are often valuable. John
Bunyan's (not our John) old anvil sold
the other day for $1,275. In a couple
pf hundred years copies of  Lpwery's
The last survivor of the Charge of
the Six Hundred is not dead. There
must be about a thousand of them still
in Canada.
A city cannot be built to any great
size by small fninds. Look for gold
dollars. They are smaller but more
valuable than pennies.
The power of the catholic church is
dying out in Italy, Spain and France,
and the pope As resting his hope upon
the United States. He already has
Quebec.
In Winnipeg the other day a man
found a $100 pearl in an oyster cocktail. In that city many a man has
found a ring-tailed menagerie in the
ordinary morning cocktail.
Influenza seems to be the national
disease of England. It has variations
and appears this year in the form of
neuralgia. The English should move
out. to British Columbia and escape the
plague.
A priest in Ireland has been delivering sermons upon ghosts, claiming to
have seen a few around his house. Putting more water in his poteen, and
drinking less Benedictine may cure the
delusion.
Over in Germany the Kaiser still
thinks that he and Gott rum the universe. If Gott should die the Kaiser
no doubt has conceit enough to run the
machine alone. Thus we see how power makes kings crazy.
That was good turn Bill Galliher
done John McKane when he defeated
him ln the Dominion eleotion some
years ago. John wandered off after his
defeat to Nevada and made millions.
Even if Chippy Hill does get a slice of
John's pile in return for a grubstake
he will still have much more left than
he would ever have ipade in Canadian
In Canada party ism in politics is
mainly insanity of the multitude for
the advantage of a few individuals.
The people give away the country to
speculators who build railroads, and
then cinch the donors by charging
them high freights going and coming.
Being blind they are still in the free
gift business.
In Dublin a priest complains that
$5,000,000 a year is spent for whiskey
in that city, and states that if that
amount of money was used to give
employment to the poor all Ireland
would be prosperous. He might have
added that it would still be more prosperous if the money wasted by the people upon churches *-ns put into the operation of mills and factories.
Over in Baker City a chap who had
obtained the title of colonel from driv-
in ore cars in the youthful days of
Rossland, proposed, over a drink of
booze, to give Alice Roosevelt a wedding present of $800,000 by raising subscriptions all over the United States.
Somebody took the matter seriously and
it was wired all over the continent,
however, there is nothing to it, as Alice
will not need the money, and probably
would notaccept it as she is no object
of charity, being about to wed a member of congress.
During the holiday rush the Canadian postal authorities could not handle
the business in some localities with a
very high degree of promptness. The
department needs some fixing, and still
occasionally swallows a camel and vomits at the sight of a monad. It spent
a vast amount of time and correspondence last fall in order to collect three
aents from the writer, but thirteen years
ago when it caused him a loss of $600
through its failure tq deliver accepted
mail matter there was nothing doing.
Just a cold reply to ��ay that the department would not settle. Thus does
red tape's inhumanity occasionally make
a man fly into the air and speak earnestly for a few minute^ LOWERY'S CLAIM
glasses and corks cleaving the ozone
in front ot the white throne, while hell
is simply a place where the ice never
clinks in the pitcher, and local option
; is epidemic. To him in the morning
to take j John Collins is a triune god���sugar,
chances upon becoming insane. Genius; gin and soda, while in the evening he
may sometimes pursue an idea to a ftn- j bows in wbling submission to the glory
ish, and escape the asylum by a paper i of old rye whiskey, and as the yellow
wall, hut the ordinary mortal who plods | spirit prospects his  gullet it lights a
-*-*-~ ���*-.*     Maj     without * '       �����l.*t*��.     throws   a
promoters and dealers In emotional
Imagination about mysteries screened
from human eyes by the great curtain
that shuts out even a flash of the Unknowable. The Jesus flends labor under the delusion that they are IT with
What Fiends We Be
Oa This Old Earth
To overwork one idea   is    to    take j John  Collins  is  a   triune  god���sugar,   aer cue u��iu��iuu *...��.. ��...,, ���.*.	
chances upon becoming insane.   Genius; gin and soda, while in the evening he  OOD.  and   that all  others are  merely
tAmm ^ m ftn_ i to^ in Wi4i\ng submission to the glory   cheap fuel  for the devil's coke ov-sns.
'        The mania ptoduccs    paitial    paresis,
and ties the victim to a bunch of notions that make htm a hydraemic sissy
with   a   penchant   for   persecuting   his
neighbors, or else a quiet recluse who
packs around a face upon which fear,
reverence and pee-tHrolsm has run many
a crosscut, and who drops on his knew
when   no one  is  looking  and  sends a
free Marconi to God for more light and
power.   Beware of the fiend who parades
the Jesus mania in  three acts and a
| matinee, for he Is liable to cop your
I dough  when you  turn to spit, or roll
_ii���... nt owvaain when
Wall, VUl mc vet ���������-���*  ��� ����� -������    -
along the one thought road without
looking over the hedges is extremenly
liable to bump into the crazy belt and
start the wheels a-buzzing in his upper stope. Monotony of thought always tends to destroy the mind. The
world is full of flends. some with one
cog missing, and others with a dozen.
The victim of a mania does not know
spark in his upper workings, throws a
roseate halo over his gray matter, ancl
for a breath or two the universe becomes a flower garden, the saloon a
scene in paradise, anil the barteneler
an earthly divinity. But. hell! the
morning. There's the pull. The fiend
sinks to rest, boots outside, feeling like
a man  who had just  found a million
The victim of a mania does not know   a  mau   *rUV  .......   ,
his condition, although he can see the | dollars,  and  wedded   the sweetest 11. y
same mania , or others, in other peo- j in  the feminine  world.    As  tho gray
pie.   A blank space in the upper stope] dawn   slowly   pushes  darkness  off  thejrtougn  wnen j^u  v���... .��� ���..._.
kii���j  ����� *hft r��a-: formation the fiend awakens and does: your name In the s'.lme of gossip when
a stunt at the water pitcher.   Then he   your ears are far away.    The malady
lies down  and    the    minutes    become   deludes Its victims  into thinking  that
years,    while,    perhaps,    a    menagerie' A\\  a\m can  be  wiped  out  by coming
the victim. ��� camps on   the  floor  and   fairies  mock   u> Jesus, even from the top of a scaf-
Look at the cigareue fiend!    He ls a   him as they flit to aud from like fire-   fold  with  a rope  skinning your  neck.
pitiful object of overwork clut-hing at! files  in   the  night.    He  feels  a  great   \\\ priest** and parsons who have this
happiness   through   the  smoke   in   his. truth and  realizes that hell  Is not lo   mania are a menace to the peace awl
*��""*  ��nii  <��iiron-l catcd   in  a  foreign   land.    After   whatl prosperity  of  any  country,  and   those
��K��.    ..|.��l.-..��i��,lf�� I  -'���lU    Mvillu:     '(MM111    Its
pies.      j\   maun.   ��� -i��� ���*.     -..
makes its possessor blind to the reason why his fe'.lows call him batty.
Until the space is vitalized by proper
thought \ ibi at inns there is no hope for
the victim.
Ix��k at the cigarette flend!    He ls a
l\rA\*VttV^T^ri      i'ii""n- ���*���_,����,
no��    His gamboge  face  �����*����������
tinted  Angers brand  him M a  u. tlm
whose think tank is_ opslded, tTOO the
cralC-n    ID   **   w*^*m���    ������������������      ���
����** like a century  in ""J****
of hades he arises and fti��k�� W�������
whose ihlnk tank I. kirMt- ����� �� ^T^UZ ��lf ��<> �����������  ��"?*  U 4"
preesure of coffin nails.   To lead a ���***.   U> tne, �� (o l)e op<.n
X beck to health and ��������� *������ ^rt ?ha? -Tmust (Ml WOthar <***%
be roped and held fast until tieprt. ann m                     B,        ,)rfore the dl-
of the hell  that comes from  a  rapid In     �� �����          vrv,iom  night   w.ll  mr-
Svorce between a victim and hi. P'-mp- J��y��jg ���,'��� . me-savcr. To stand
��*t<*--- , * ���,i���    bv a saloon door when It to locked In
Ro-lk fiends are mainly around mUH ��T������J��    of ,hp rarly ni���rning Is
Ing camps.   As a rule they own one o    the *y W" ^ ******
more   mineral   locations,   and   a  small
sack filled with ore, or rock specimens
With serious faces, upon which are mirrored suppressed excitement, they will
draw   these   specimens   upon   pilgrims,
and others, requesting all to squint, until the eye grows myopic, at the treasures in their rock.   There is little hope*
for a rock  fiend.    If you  give one of
them three or four mil!ions for a claim
he will go away to Ktealo, Poplar. Bodie.
Three   Forks  or   some   other   hot   antl
boiling  city  and   throw  his  money  at
birds, bottles, stacks of blues, and legs
in   tights   until   his   bank   roll  die*  or
quick consumption.    Then  he wanders
back again to the erand. but aged mountains, stakes a shank or two of the formation, fills a sack with fat rock and
a��ain  becomes  happy  chafing dream4-*
f-Wd showing h's specimens to the multitude.    The rock  mania is sometime-
cured, but the permanency of thc cur
Y�� rather brittle.    I  have known fl'*ne"
��        At--      kill.
r,;7b^encnd the mm, ******
sorrow Ihe crux of terror, and the apex
ofTeTrwIth the lid crushed **���������
,he Utile ml Imps rushing wwar-is
him with flVmlng -sticks of *****�����
whl.e the Old Chap with  .he^apU ��
prosperity   oi   an?   v*,.........
who do not are simply living upon Its
development  In  others.    One  a  bunch
of fools, the other a bunch of graft ers.
The   mania   often   becomes   epidemic
through the holding of camp and revival
meetings,   presided   over  by   hot ozone
artists,  expert   in   the  way  of  get tlm;
the crowd to st am ite tie for Jesus like a
herd of buffaloes on the dead run during  the o'.d  days on  the  plains.    The*
mania will die out when It becomes a
criminal  offenoe for parsons, evangelists and others to upset the equilibrium
of weak-minded  people by  their crazy
talk almut something they know nothing
aliout.   One phase of the mania Is the
bea... than own a *****-TS >��..j liberty and trnertom.to \*^7^mrJ,
tapering off  on   paWw   ni ^       tt0o,O/ny   '1 with Ui��
may break away from the   >oozc�� tbe nnmftn race w��
by many of onr ��;'-"",;*r���|h(>r ^va.   gSTSonld *op down lo e. 'h     r
ThP Miration  fiend  Is ra'"" {^       , m[xmin and   P"��   a ?���**��
Ieot in ����me >�����"��**    * ^Z a"-! i the Sun.toy observsner �����*��*" ^,���.
"" ,thb0,^";:r'V"."s S   . HoT^nd | whh��� an- pushing '^T^^S'..
1= ralher hrlttln.    I have known fl"nd'   ""'  "'    ���f  ' tuo r���lllP and drons
tn ln,�� a farm far away from the hills    ����'' f'*" ^* Z*r.t formation.    The
1"   on.     a.   > *.. ,..    ....
e**i then in the excitement of a exiunt*
fair or a lively market open a bag of
potatoes and perplex the crowd b*.
pointing out in the *puds. true flssur
veins, agony of assessments, bannocl
streak.   Irishmen   and   traces  of  early
davs.
Tbe booze fiend you have all met. Al
though  given  to late hours he is gen
erally an early    rl*��er.    unless    locate**
where he* can ring the bell.   This mal
edy rapidly grows malienaut when it !���
overworked   anet   tbe   victim   stvin  see
fitful icvcr r������Ts uV ���-���   ��� Th
5? into the gravevnnl   ^^J .
Jesus fiends contract    the    WW.JJ
praying  to  an   Ulia<ftoaiT  *n��rK  wl
concentration   on   the  one   Idea.   wi I
e-cn  and   nature turn   ��W    n  dis
-ust   and   leaves   them   rni!dly   InHane
When  Sends of this kind  are bmirhed
thehemat-lv  becomes  ejrWinJlf W**
nant   and hWory ^ows that  no otnc
tEm of midnw has caused  such
wreck of human life and treannre W
Mood of millions has reddled thr*
,reeti*wnr,l since the Cbrl^t flc  on wn
overworked   and   the   vlcthn   noon  ��*e'   W^W���"T Heeming tmth  by C|^
nothing In tW�� but highballs. bee:h>oosted  |ntQ ^ aeeniina ir,eu    f
who are puling sen.*^ ��- NoW
The* investigation we .Id ^ |ook
York  exiiosuren of  Hf^  '"a rn��
like a Ptenitre leaning again* an
ph^e poiitroai Band I. m^JJ ^
rlrnce throughout OjMdt ��n h6
gSSl States .Wjjrt^elt*-
hsndl to a W*htdeBr!r- ���,r the vot-
t,on he cannot *��*��*" ^nnot keep
prft. and after, as a rule, he ca s
them   out of  the  P��b��  *cKThey will
without h*^���n��Tr��vo ont with
.et   an   Iron  hook and  res;in lA
that. This kind of a^* *���� ����� hie
for lying, ami *?***���S^goose Hii
m>H. plucked from the WJ^*�� ^pi.
ronsclcnce liecomw a KnH*-P�� LOWERTS CLAiM
3
t
.
aad his soul seldom rises above the
fieshpots.   He is ever on the watch for
pearls in the oysters, gold in the soup,
and banknotes in his letters.   His brain
is full of plots, mainly as to how he
can keep his seat, and with the aid ot
bis friends tod the country  tor theii
mutual benefit.    Like a painted harlot
in a new  camp  the average political
fiend flaunts  his  glau rags amid the
popping of corks until evolution pushes
Hia. o*er the uump, and a newer flena
ladles soft soap in the selling of hit
soul and country for the slag ot material things.    Here in British Colum-
oia many pinheads have often sat Ui
our  legislative chairs by  day and  b>
night  paints  red  spots  all  over   Victoria  -uAilyiing   with  commercial   love,
and spewing wine    from    theur champagne-soaked stomacus over the Brussels in many a maison-de-joie until the
coming of dawn found them asleep in
the arms of more than Morpheus, while
ail around the debris of a fast night
littered the surface like the aftermath
of a head-on collision  between trains
lad-en with corks, bottles, cigarettes ana
cigar stubs.   Thus do manias meet and
have a hell of a time, while up in heaven tears drop on the wings of angels
as they look down uyon this scar-faced
mundane sphere and see the world, ta*
flesh, the devil and politics in a vast
potpourri of lust, greed and ignorance,
banked on every side by the red rosex
of passion, hitting the broad pike witl.
no brakes, shouting .or  more money,
wine and power.    Bah!    If I were thc
Supreme Activity who runs all things
I would dirop In some day, run the entire bunch into zero, and rent the eaith
to moving atoms without manias. Then
an honest man wou'.d get a chance to
make a living without being ostracized
'by church, state, society and the 0. P.
It. railroad.
The gambling fiend Is much in evidence. The mania is mighty and prevails, even amongst the savages. Men
get it so violent that they will sit up
all night and pay $3 to $10 an hour
for the privilege of pushing chips across
nothing will entirely eradicate it.   The
fiend becomes a slave to fame and the
smell of printer's ink.   He will'plod on
for years living upon hope, store bills
ancl .sour paste, when nine times out of
ten if he would break away from his
boiler-plated   delusion   and   saw   wood
he  could,   at   least  occasionally,   have
mushrooms   with   his  beefsteak.    But,
no, the fiend wiil hang on, patching h.s
pants and fighting   the    sheriff   until
death puts "30'- on the hook and he is
planted   in   the   formation,   unmasked,
unsung  and  unpaid  by    that    human
stink���the delinquent subscriber.    The
poor    newspaper    fiends!      How    they
stumble on through life with the hell-
oox of past regrets ever beside them,
and the future blue with lien contracts.
They are tortured by the envy of littfe*
things, hoodooed by tricky poli-tSTcians,
scared by the church, and enslaved by
the public, who demand sugar for thenv
selves and green paint for their enem.es.
Once in a while a fiend gets rich and
famous, and then his brothers will often
strive to knock him off the perch by
shooting him full of paper bullets. Like
petty actors,  the    average    newspaper
fiend  has a soul full of envy, and a
bank account that looks like a strainer
in a catsup factory.
In a future issue I will trot out a
few more fiends. The ozone is plum
full of them.
eat  him.   but  I  can't  sleep
The Stopy of a Circuit Preacher.
One of the most successful circuit
preachers in South Carolina is Mr.
Dukes. At .one time he had a circuit
that embraced parts of three counties,
from Smyrna to Washfoot, to Zion and
back again, and he tells many amusing
anecdotes of his experiences on the
road.
When he was servkig his apprentice-
woods of Georgia when she was a girl,
said.
"I   ken
him."
'That's good; now who next?" ac'ked
the missionary.
"Well, if sister Jenkins is gwine to
eat him, I'll agree to sleep htm, but I
can't wash him."
"Thats good; who next?"
Then another spoke up and said:
"Well, I'll wash him, but I ain't much
on biled shirts."
At another time Mr. Dukes called at
a house one Sunday morn to take the
two daughtes to church.
The two girls had been off to school
for a year each. They were dressing
while the old lady, smoking by the
hearth, expiated to the preacher on the
.merits of education and the accomplishments of her daughters.
In a few minutes one of the girls
sailed in, arrayed in all the colors of
the rainbow. "Oh, ma!" she exclaimed,
fanning herself furiously, "1 icel so
luminary."
In a minute or two the other girl
sailed in like the first, and she exclaimed, "Oh, ma! I feel so stewmi-
nary."
The o!d lady's eyes glistened with
pride as she beheld her girls impressing
the preacher with fine words, and she
exclaimed in her turn:
"Bless God! How dem gals kin talk
de gramminary!"���Florida Times-Union.
Charles Sweeney has- given $250,000
to the church he is stuck on. This
shows how some smart men blow their
wealth. Charley is certainly a picnic
for the chaps who deal In futures, and
no douibt they have promised him a seat
next to Christ when he crosses over
the great divide. Some fellows would
promise anything for a quarter of a
million.    However,   if   Charley    real!y
. believes in the Bible he will have to
ship as a young and ambitions minis-1 give the entire wad away in order to
ter of the gospel, he was sent as a missionary  to Florida in the early days,
and was assigned a post on the Indian
table,  when  sawing  three sticks of | river,  far south  of  Titusville.    There
wood will give them muscular contraction of the biceps, rhey will stand
twenty hours at a faro table guessing
the high card or coppering the case
and fall dead with heart failure when
their wives ask them to pack a bucket
of water. They will waste a whole
night yelling, "Blackjack!" and shout
"Busted!" when the woman of their
heart wants four bits for a new dress.
Gambling flends, in order to .satisfy
their oiavlng for chance will sacrifice
time, money, power home and the hired
��lrl In order to cluster around a table.
like moths butting into a candle and
peep at hole cards or bet on red, black
or the zeros until their brain gets locoed and their pocket has in it a painful, lonesome vacuum. You must have
cash to gamble. Without cash, or with
an unfailing supply of It the mania
.��oon dies out. It is the chubber who
keeps all games going, even the stock
exchange.
The newspaper mania has many variations.   Wlien acquireel in early youth
was no railroad then and a sparse pop-
u.at ion, who, like Little Breeches of
John Hay fame, didnt go much on religion, and looked with an eye askanjee
at strangers.
Mr. Dukes told the people he was determined to establish a church there;
that churches brought schools; that
schools brought settlers, and that settlers brought prosperity, and that he
had no money and no price, but intended that the people should take care of
him.
It was at a big meeting that all this
was said, more of a citizens' metieng
than a church meeting, and Mr. Dukes
asked:
"Now what can you do for the preacher? I don't intend to put the burden
of my living upon any one family, but
upon all of you turn about. I will not,
however, go where the latchstring is
not hanging out of the door. What
can you do for the preacher?"
One old lady, who had a dim recollection pf a small t-lnu'eh In the plney
get past Pete. Heaven, as represented
in the good book, is entirely reserved
for the poor, and the rich, parvenu or
otherwise, can no more get in there
than a mule can pack a load of ore
through the optic of a needle. Charley
should give the balance of his wealth
to the poor, and take no chances of ostracism in the New Jerusalem.
A family in Scotland claim a great
deal of the land upon which New York
is built, amunting in value to $350,000,-
000. Robert Edwards was the man who
first owned the land on Manhattan island, and we would not be surprised
if Bob Edwards, of Calgary, is one of
the heirs. We would advise Bob to look
into the matter, as with a few millions
he could change the climate around
Alberta's greatest bovine camp.
PERFUME   THE  OZONE   BY
SMOKING  A
flaintanu Cioar- ������������:'
L0WBRY8 CLAIM
A Progressive Journal
In the Far West
The history of the News, published
at Anaconda, B. C, is a journalistic
example of progression in the great
west Five years ago it commenced
publication in monad stage, and its editor only had enough of type to set a
pair of lines before he went to press:
The first edition consisted of three copies, and the presswork was done by
thumb power, the editor pressing the
paper down on the type held tightly in
stick of cardboard.
Early in 1901 a new stick was added I
to the plant and the circulation took!
9 jump to six copies weekly.   Business j
improved wonderfully about t/hls Umei
and three or four ads  were received.
which swelled the editor two sizes, and
he took a  plunge by buying a lever!
press, and another pound of type.   The
paper  was  enlarged  until  it  was  fat
with two columns to the page, but the
frost of hard times hit it in the autumn and the size had to be reduced
in order to harmonize with th? bank
roll.
Early in 1902 thinfew took a tain for
the better and the circulation rapidly
rose to 30 copies. Times continued to
grow brighter and early in 1903 the
editor was able to print folded copies.
Page after page was added to the journal during 1903. and five or more pounds
of type put in the shop.
In 1904 prosperity camped without a
side step on the trail of the News. Its
circulation flew to the dizzy height of
130 copies, and the editor grew an inch
taller within the year. A large 7x11
press was installed and the first Annual
came off ita bed.
Last year was a banner one for this
progressive journal, **nd the circulation
touched the high spots. It was 220
copies when the sun peeped first into
1906. The Annual for 1905 was more
unique than many of the older publications. Jt taontained br sides many
other illustrations a picture of the palatial News ofTice. The editor stands
in ths foreground with his head almost touching the roof, while dimly
sitting in the open a.*or ls a fine, open-
faced, gentlemanly dog, entirely different in appearance from the bulldog
whioh once took the overs in The Ledge
office at New Denver.
The editor of this rising journal Is
Robert Keffer. evidently a youth with
adolescence jtust dawning, and if he
keeps on improving as he has done
within the past Ave years, he will soon
become one of the most remarkable
Journalists upon this continent. Even
row he is remarkable, for In addition
to telling the truth about his circulation (rarest virtue) he does not stick
his name all over the journal nor parade all his folks in the society columns. Boy though he be this embryonic journalist and his little creation
hold up to veterans a truth or two.
The pitfalls aro many for those who
seek fame and mush in the roar of
a press, and many a bright light goes
out before the summit is in sight, hut
if Bob Keffer can train on as he has begun, some day he will sit on the high
seat, and dip his pen in ink that will
make the world tip Its hat to the chap
who had only a pair of lines when his
paper had its accouchement.
Mining" fop a Meteor.
A remarkable mining project Ls being carried out near Diabolo canyon. In
Arizona, by the Standard Iron company
of New York, says a despatch to the
Boston Transcript. The object of the
comrany Is to unearth and smelt a gi-
aantic meteor which lies buried there.
This meteor probably struck the earth
many ages ago. The Indians who inhabit that region have no legend of the
wonderful event. The location of the
meteor is marked by a ho> In the earth
three-fourths of a mile long wnd 600 feet
deep. The surrounding country for a
radius of several mile* is covered by
the fragments of this heavenly visitor.
Tbey have furnished much interesting
material for Investigations for mineralogists. Some of th efra*ments weighed
many tons, and brought rich returns
of alive1* gold and lead when shipped to
the smelter. All of the fragments that
have been analyzed run high In lead,
silver and gold. This remarkab'e mineral property was acquired more than
a year a*?o by the Standard Iron company, which began the work to locate
the meteor by means of a shaft, which
It Is sinking from the bottom of the
great hole. This shaft has reached a
depth of more than 400 feet, or more
than 1.000 feet from the original earth's
surface. The size of the meteor haa
ben carefully calculated by scientific
exp��-Tt<*. who take as a basis the size
of the hole which It made In the earth.
Tt Is estimated that the gold, silver, and
lead which the meteor contains will
amount to $10,000,000. lt Is believed
that the shaft will strike the meteor at
aliout 12.000 feet.
In former days many mlnlnn prospectors gained a good livelihood by collecting and shipping the fragments of
the meteor to the amelter. Thew fragments had a market value of $1 per
pound in Holbrook. The Indians
brought In large quantities of th<* mineral In the days before a railroad had
been built Into the region, and th"
mineral was sent to the smelter em
burros.
watching you cut hair.'
* It ain't that, air,' explained the barber, smiling. '.Sometimes I make a mistake and take a little piece off a customer's ear.'"
Hunarry Do*.
Garfield W. Weave, the left end of
the Pennsvlvania footnall team, said the
other day:
"Football Is becoming pretty s*n-
inilnary, a pretty trhasUv sort of game.
It reminds me of barberlne* down east.
"I once went Into a down-east barber shop to get my hair cut. As I sat
ln the chair and the scissors clicked
nwav tbe barber's do.��* lay beside m=��
on the floor, looking up at me all the
time mo��t attentively.
���"Nice do*, that.' I aaid.
" 'He Is. air.' said the liartier.
'��� *He seems  very  fond./   I  said,   'of
Montana Society's Son*,
A Montana eociety nas been organized in New York and last month they
held a fine banquet at De'.monlcas The
menu card was a pretty souvenir and
printed thereon waa a poem by J. Campbell Cory which all the members sane
to thc air of "Old Kentucky," aud is as
follows:
Take ine back to old Montana
Where there's plenty room an air;
Where there's cotton wood an' pin�� trees,
Bitter-root and prtckly-pear;
Whore there aint no pomp nor glitter..
Where a shilling's called a "bit";
Where at night the magpies twluer;
Wheie our Injun fights were fit
Take me where the sage la plenty;
Where there's rattlesnakes an" Uchl;
Where    a    stack    of    "whites"    emu
twenty;
Where they don't sell glided bricks;
Wheie the old Miaaour-t river
An' the muddy Yellowstone
Make green patches In the Bad l*tnds
Where old Slttln' Bull was known.
Take me where there ain't no subways
Nor no forty-story shacks.
Where they shy at automobiles.
Dudes,     plug    hata    an'    three-rail
tracks;
Where  the  o!d   aun-tanned   prospector
Dreams of wealth an' pans his din.
Where   the  sleepy   nlgkt-herd   puncher
Sinjs to steers and piles hia quiri.
Take me where there's dlamoni-hite-he*.
Rope* an' brands an' oa'trldge ��*H*.
Where the boys wear chaps for britches.
Flannel .shirts an' Stetson Mta.
Und of alkali an' copper!
1 and of sapphire an' of gold!
Take me back to dear Montana.
I^*t me die there when I'm old
The people of Nelson are stralntnK
their upper slopes In search of the
publicity that wilt attract the aitent on
of the world to this city and vicinity
They keep on talking about big apples, mines. ��m*��ltera and scenic wonders, and paaa over In true provincial
fashion the very thing that la advertising Nelson. K->oteney and BfltPB
Columbia more than anything ����i
within the confines of thU wonderful
province. Small minds, revolving In nits,
grow far-stghtcd. and kick diamonds
In the ditch while gazing at copper
atalna  upon  some  distant   mountain
If people could be burled by putting
their coffins In the open air. and the
living could ace the coffins float upwara
until out of sight, a great many mora
people would believe In religion.���Atcn-
ison Globe.
God Is an empty tablet upon which
nothing la found but what thou ham
written theyself.���.Martin Luther, tOWERtf'S CLAIM
Urniri
How to Sleep.
During childhood and exhaustive
state too much sleep is rarely possible.
For those in full tide of vigor too much
sleep is often distinctly hurtful, says
Dr. J. Madison Taylor in the Popular
���Science Monthly.
The action of narcotics presents none
of th characteristics of normal sleep
except the temporary arrest of con-
aciousness; hence narcotics Is not true
Bleep.
The best position to assume in sleep
to invite the least disturbance of the
functions of the great organs is on the
abdomen or nearly so.
Many obscure forms of digestive or
circulatory disorders may have been initiated in infancy through lying too long
upon the back.
To secure the most perfect repose the
tempi rat uie of all parts . hould be equalized before retiring. Cold feet Induce
delay In securing sleep, and It is then
shallow when attain d.
It is most unwise lo overfill the stomach before retiring; this disturbs sleep
almost as much as hunger, but moderate eating before sleeping Is not hurtful, and is often salutary.
Body clothing at uight should be
loose, not dense, permitting the ready
passage of air, never of wool next to
the skin.
Bed clothing should not be too close
of texture, blankets being preferable
to dense "comfortables" and not "tucked
In" too closely. Air should be allowed
to pass occasionally under the sides,
at least as one turns about more or iesa
freely.
Early rising Is a salutary custom, especially when the day comes early, not
otherwise.
More sleep Is required in winter than
ln summer. The best sleep is had during the hours of darknm;.
The sleeping room should be cool,
abundant air being always admitted.
This should not be Interpreted to mean
that the room may safely remain intensely cold.
In the modern treatment of tuberculosis fresh air ls recognized to be imperatively needed all day and all night.
Artificial heat can and should be supplied along with fresh air, till the temperature oi the room be at or near r>0
cr 55 decrees Fahrenheit, for come even
00 debited Fahie nhuit.
Cold Business.
A writer who spends his summers at
the sea shore tells the following story:
An Ignorant countryman who saw the
sea for the first time was much impressed with the effect of the blue water,
and asked a fisherman If he could tell
him the owner, as h*, would like to buy
a gallon to take home to his wife. The
fisherman replied, proudly:
"Us, me man*���we own it!"       ,
"Land sakes!" exclaimed the rustic
* Could you sell me a gallon for fifty
cents?"
'Sure," aaid the fisherman; and he
dlappeared, returning in a few moment! with a jar of water, for which
he received the countryman's fifty
cents.
The latter departed with his purchase.
Returning later in the day, after the
tide had gone out, he gazen in silent
wonder at the water, which had receded
far from the beach.
"Lumme!" he exclaimed. "Don't they
do a trade!"���Harper's Weekly.
Old Times, Old Friends, Old Love.
There are no days like the good old
days,
The days when we were youthful!
When humankind were pure of mind,
And speech and deeds were truthful;
Before a love for sordid gild ,
Became man's ruling passion,
And  before each dame and  maid  became
Slave to the tyrant fashion!
There are no girls like the good old
girls���
Against the world I'd stake 'em!
As buxom and smart, and clean of heart
As the Lord knew how to make 'em!
They were rich in spirit and common
sense,
And piety all supporting
They  could  bake  and  brew,  and  had
taught school, too,
And tbey made such likely courtin'!
There are no boys like the good old
boys���
When we were boys together!
When the grass was sweet to the brown
bate feet
That dimpled the laughing heather;
When the pewee sang to the Summer
dawn
Of the bee ia the billowy clover,
Or down by the mill the whip-poor-will
Echoed his night song over.
There  is  no  love  like  the  good  old
love���
The love that mother gave us!
We are old, old men, yet we pine agoin
For that precious grace���God save us.
So we dream and dream of the good old
times,
And our hearts grow tenderer, fonder,
As those dear old dreams bring soothing
gleams
Of beaven away oft yonder,
���Eugene   Field.
Didn't Know Many Folks.
Artemus Ward was once traveling in
the cars, dreading to be bored, and feeling miserable, when a man approached
him, sat down, and said:
"Did you hear that last thing on Horace Greeley?"
"Greeley. Greeley " said Artemus.
"Horace Greeley?   Who is he?"
The man was quiet about five minutes.
Pretty soon he said:
"George Francis Train is kicking up
a good deal of a row over in England.
Do you think they will put him in a
bastile?"
"Train? Train? George Francis
Train?" said Artemus, solemnly. I never
heard of him.".
This ignorance kept the man quiet
for about   fifteen   minutes.     Then   he
said:
"What do you think about General
Grant's chances for the presidency?
Do you think they will run him?"
"Grant? Grant? Hang it, man," said
Artemus, "you appear to know more
strangers than any man I ever saw."
The man was furious. He walked
off, but at last came back, and said:
"Say, did you ever hear of Adam?"
"Adam? Adam? What was his other
name?"
Sage Advice.
Russell Sage has a horror of lawsuits.
A clerk of Mr. Sage's said the other
day:
"I sought out the chief one morning
in his office.
"You remember me, sir,' I said, 'my
complaint   against    _*/   wife's uncle?'
" 'Yes,' he answered.
" 'Well,* said I, 'the man is obdurate,
and I think of bringing suit against
him.   What do you advise?'
"Mr. Sage, always interested in the
welfare of his employes, was silent a
moment, frowning thoughtfully. Then
he said:
" 'Listen. When I was a clerk in
Troy, I had a case against a man that
seemed quite as good as yours. I visited a prominent lawyer and I laid the
whole matter before aim in detail.
When I was through he told me that
he would be delighted to take the case
���that it was a case that couldn't lose.
. " *lt can't lose?' said I.
" 'It can't lose,' he repeated.
" 'I rose and took my hat I
thanked the lawyer, and told him that
I wouldn't bring suit after all. And
then I explained that it was opponent's
side, and not my own, which I had laid
before him.
" 'Before bringing a lawsuit,' Mr. Sage
concluded, 'it's a good plan first to lay
your opponent's plan before your lawyer as if it were your own.''
A Sad Event.
Tommy was absent from school for
one entire day. But he brought a note
of excuse the next morning, which
would prove that he had been detained
at home legitimately. The writing was
hardly tbat ot* a feminine hand, and
the note appealed to nave been written
laboriously. Fuuhu-niore, the penmanship seemed to be strangely familiiar
to the teacher. The note read as follows: "Dear Teacher:���Please excuse
Tomy for not comeing to school yes-
tidy, he couldn't come. I tore my pants.
Yours truely, Mrs. Mulligan."
Ignorance is the mother of all evils.
���Montaigne.
Even to build the temple the schools
must not be closed.���Talmud.
He who binds his soul to knowledge,
steals the keys of heaven.���Willis.
Remember,  sonny, that a deuce ia
the hole is not collateral at a bank-, 8
LoWfiiiYs claim"
���Ti I Ii .M
The Hills Trembled
In Old Kootenay
An   earthquake   touched     Kootenay
about 6 a. m. one morning last month
for  the  first  time in  the  memory,  of
the oldest inhabitant,    it had a varied
effect  upon   the  people,    ln   Rossland
Archie Mackenzie thought the price of
coal  was falling while Jim  Davis felt
sure the boaiders  were falling out of
the windows, and Maxy Crow  reached
for his hymn  book,  which he always
keeps on a table by  his bedside,    ln
Trail, Jim Dawson thought the smelter
was tumbling down hill to have a dilnk
with  him.    Everybody   likes  to  drink
with Jim.   He always thorws in a laugh.
Over in Grand    Forks    Jack    Temple
thought a Manitoba blizzard had struck
the town, while most of the inhabitants
looked   up  the   North   Fork   expecting
tnat U.e railroad haa been built in the
night, uud the Mist tiain was tooting
its whistle.    Being high up, the people
of  Phoenix  were  not  -scared,  as  they
knew that they would be on lop if Uie
hills fell  down,  altnough  at  the first
rattle Beach Wilcox was under the impression that it was the world applauding his great annual.   Well they might,
for the annual has reached farther than
the earthquake.    Down  in  Greenwood
Duncan Ross said his prayers, for he
thought  the  Tories  on   the  C.   P.   R.
���had captured  the  burg.    All  over  the
city   the   eaithquake   shook   the   early
morning bartenders for the drinks.    In
Midway the people who were up crawled under the roulette tables and stood
pat, while over in Ferry  the g.ils  in
the   huidy-gurdies   danced  a   jig   w.th
the quake until all was sti.l.    At New
Denver, Stege was    certain    that    Big
Sandy had talien downstairs, while the
rest of the populace rushed to the windows to see Gabriel and his hoin.    In
tfclvertoa,   Faiher   Dan   was   the   only
one up.    He promptly bid all of LOW-
LitY'efl CLAIMS and held down the safe
until the quake took the trail for Ten
Mile,    ln Slocan City  the entire town
thought Windy Young had again lit in
the camp.   The people in Rosobery felt
sure the zinc plant had started running,
while   at   Three   Fork.s      Hugh  Niven
looked in the Scotch to see what made
it walk.   In Sandon, Bob Cunning. Billy
Bennett.   b.1    McLeod.   Jim   Thompson
and Jake Kelsen were just coming out
of prayer meeting when the eaith irem-
hled.   The event caused little comment
with   them,  as  they   thought  someone
was  breaking   his  resolutions,  or  else
that  over  in   Kelowna  Paddy   Murphy
had got   a   ranch    in   sight, and was
pounding on  the floor for more apple
trees. In Kaslo, when the rumble came,
Al Palmer, Ed Latham, Bob Elliott and
Jack Desmond    were   standing   guard
over  the old  town.    Al   hid   his  love
letters, Ed turned on the gramophone.
Bob tied his dog to a chair, while Jack
sat still and said, 'That's good."   Glad
to see something moving in the town,
they all rushed out to get some real
estate before it was gobbled up, all except Bob.   He and the dog got tangled ,
up with the chair until the boom was
over. At Ainsworth. Charley Olsen
merely shouted, "I'll be dowu In minute. ' The hum of industry is so gieat
at Pilot Bay that the quake passed by
without notice, like a white chip rolling into a spittoon OuC of a blue stack
game. At Moyie it was thought that
a regiment of Irishmen were making
merry serenading Jim Cumin. The
quake caused little commotion at Cran-
brook. as Simpson had just issued his
annual. In Fernie there was great lamentation, as many of tbe people felt
sure that Providence was at last reaching out for them by opening up an inclined shaft to the regions below. Their
narrow escape should be an awful warning, especially to the noga-cracy. When
the quake came to Nelson. Colonel Tom-
kins thought that a car of Molly Gib-
eon ore was being dumped into the
smelter, while Fred Hume was sure
that a band of Pass Va.ley ranchers
were trooping up his stairs. In the
excitement, McPhee quit laughing. Jack
Gibson licked a stamp to a finish, and
Molly sighed as he look<*d at the water
pitcher. Avery and McOandlish tolled
downstairs to open the door for Houston, while Rev. Jim N'eelands winked
hia eye and said something about John
shaking the town. Mauy thought tint
some influence had been brought to
Baer upon the new daily papt*r. and
that its big press was waking up the
town with its rapid revolutions. Others
thought the West Kootenay Power
Company was touching the city or eW*c
that the rocks from the city plant were
running upstream and bumping Into
the wharf. The seismic spasm tlitl not
break an egg in the city. Improve the*
electric light, nor murmur the. name
of our prese*nt mayor. After a brief
life of ten seconds it pas cd away, leaving nothing behind except a topic for
the day.
Sho Changed the $6 EM.
Cynics who assert that Women are
devoid of business lactlnot would have
changed their minds if tbey oould bave
witnessed an incident that loon plaoe
on a Columbus avenue car last Monday.
A woman paid her fare with a $5 bill.
The conductor could not  make change.
He applied to the man with the
eiutch. to the redheaded man anl to
ihe prcifijM.ous i;oking Individual In the
n w tali hat; nobody* Bnaacia. -equipment came up to the requ re��menis.
Presently a woman sitting near the trout
of the car beckoned to the conductor.
"How big is the bill?" she asked.
"Five dollars," he replied.
lieH-s   It   bekmg   to   that   woman   iu
blue?" she went on.
"Yes,  mam," said  the conductor.
"Very well," said the woman, "I can
help you out."
The conductor handed over the $
bill and the woman counted out $4,115
into one pile and Ave pennies Into another.   8he gave him the pennies.
"Here," she aaid, "Is her fare. I'll
keep the change. She has owed me
$5 for the last two years. I have tried
every  way  under  the sun  to get the
money, but she always said she had
none. Now that I have gol something
from her 1 am going to hang ou to
it."
The vlctroious collector looked defiantly at the woman in blue. The rest
oi in�� passengers sat up in expecution
of a fight. The woman ln blue biushed
deeply, but she meekly waived her riirht
to the $4.95. *
"Please stop the car," was all she
said.���New York Sun.
Hor First Railroad Rids.
An old lady in Missouri took her first
railroad trip last week, says the Butler
Democrat She noticed the bell cord
overhead, and turning to a boy. she
said: "Sonny, what's that for." 'That
marm," he aaid, wun a miadUetouti
twinkle tn his eye, "Is to ring the bell
when   you  want something to eat."
Shortly afterward the old lady reached her umbrella to the cord and gave it
a vigorous pull. The train waa in the
middle of a tre*tl*. The whtaile sounded, the brakes were pulled on, the train
begau to s.anken its speed, windows
were thrown up. questions asked, aud
confusion reigned among the pa^nger*.
The old lady sat calmly through It all
PreeeaUy the conductor came running
���ihrough the train and asked: "Who
puiied the bell?"
"I  aid." replied the old lady meekly.
"Well, what do you want?" aaked the
conductor impatiently.
' Well." aaid the old lady, meditatively, "you may bring me a ham aandwie h
and a cup of tea. please."
"SWIpcMt."
A crank came running Into our office the other day. says a truthful exchange, and said a man had swallowed
x two-fool rub* and wa* dying by inches
I started out to learn the par'.!, u a. *
and met the doctor. The physician said
(hat was nothing, that he had a patient
once who swallowed a thermometer and
died by degrees. A couple of bystanders e-hipped In, one csaylng it reminded
hlm of a fellow In Texas who swallowed
a revolver and went off easily. The other aaid he had a friend In Manitoba
who drank a quart of applejack and
die!  in  good spirits.
1 he man who fearn to go his way alon��\
But followi where the greater number tread.
Should   hasten   to   his   rest   beneath   a
���tone;
The great majority of men are dead.
���Edmund   Vance Cooka
5
A liitb* stringer sometimes leada to a
great mine.
Men in earnest hav��- Tio time to wa"^J
In patching flg leaves for the nakedj
truth.���Lowell.
BjSJBJSSjSJ*BMBJSjBjri
The man who is thoughtful of hia
frlenda and kind to them la good enough
for anybody. To send such a man to
hell because he waa aprlnkled Instead
of baptized would be an outrage.���Atchison Globe. tarn i if
LOWERY'S CLAIM
f
A Big Bully.
To those who know the truth it was
rather amusing to reao not long ago in
the Nelson News the   eulogies   of its
Fernie   correspondent   upon   the   last
year's Council of that city.   We do not
all   think  alike,   but   facts  cannot   be
downed by falsehood.   A bigger human
piebald jackass never sat ln a mayoralty chair tiiau Fred Stork of Fet nie.
The poor fellow may not be to blame
for the faults iu his cieation, but suoh
faulty creatures as Stork should never
be foisted upon the public when prominent   positions  are   in   flower.    There
is a place for everything and Stork's
place    is    amongst a    crowd of loudmouthed   bluflers   who   shake   the   atmosphere   with   hot  ozone   when   they
are ten to one.    mis te.low Stork is a
big bluffing boycotter who delights in
soldier     clothes   and    wanting   upon
women.   It he had been born an Indian
the squaws of  his  tribe  would   likely
have run him out of camp with willow
gads.      Dining    his  administration  as
mayor of Feiuie he was simply a tool
in the hands of the local coal autoc-
ivw-y. They  lead  him around  much  the
same as a tat hog is roped to market.
Only   with   bsa  resistance.    With  not
enough of  moral  courage  to own  his
own soul he and the fleshy automatons,
who acted as aldermen, with one exception, danced all last year to the music-
set by the Great Cinch.    A more servile crowd  never licked the hand of a
monarch than the bunch of municipal
mislegislators who surrendered  Fernie
into  the  greedy   tentacles  of  the  coal
barons.       Slaves   to   belt*,   scared   by
the    bluffs    and     promises    of     the
Great Cinch, they played the Judas and
betrayed the people's trust by ijinj; a
knot around the dty's neck that may
>et choke It  to death.
We bave seen the result of the one-
man political machine in Russia, and we
will see the result of autocracy In Fer-
miis. No city can have continued peace
and prosperity that will bow in abject
fear and trembling to any commercial,
industrial, theological or political
institution. The majority of the people In Fernie stand in awe of the Coal
���oompany. feaiing u> offend the losal
god lest they, figuratively speaking, be
crushed under tlie Juggernaut or disfavor and forced to limp out or' town.
ragged and hungry. Beautiful Canada!
Autocracy creates slaves, and these
slaves, chafing under the yoke, grow to
hate the free, and fight then upon every opportunity. The Crow's Nest Pass
Coal Company, and its subsidiary company, seeks to rule Fernie and obtain
practically all there is in that city. In
doing so it makes slaves of the people, sets man against man, and makes
a hellhole of what should Ih* one of
the most prosperous places in the west.
Freed from the malign influence of the
Great Cinch Fred Stork and his municipal colleagues might have ended their
clvio careers with a minimum of black
marks. The gall they exhibited in
fighting the battles of the coal hogoc-
racy at the city's expense should be
chained down. Otherwise it is liable
to break loose and swallow the eaith.
Why He Couldn't Help Her.
A very pretty young woman slipped
and fell on the stone steps in front of
her father's house, sprainiug her knee.
She disliked doctors, but the knee finally grew so bad that she was persuaded to call in medical advice. She
wouldn't have this doctor or that one,
but finally said she would consent to
have called in a certain spruce-looking
young man carrying a homeopathic
medicine case who passed the house
every day.
The family kept a sharp lookout, and
when he came along called him in.
The young lady modestly raised her
skirts and showed the disabled member.
The young man looked at it, and said:
"That certainly is quite serious."
"Well," said the young lady, "what
shall I do?"
"If I were you," he said, "I would
send for a physician."
"But can you not attend to it?" asked
the girl.
"Not very well," answered the young
man.    "1 am a piano tuner."
Dangerous Railroad Travel.
A newspaper writer,    meeting    Lord
Brassey at Red Bank, N. J., asked the
distinguished foreigner if he feared to
travel on American railroads says the
New York Tribune.
"Oh,  no,"  Loid    brassey    answered,
| "your    American  rairoads  kill  a good
j many people in  the yeaa s course, but
I we must  remember that they carry a
good many people a good many miles.
:n proportion, probably,    they    do no
more damage than    the    railroads   of
France or of Scotland.
"The famous Dr. Norman Macleod
was ouce about to set off on a long
railway journey through Scotland. Just
as the train was pulling out the clergy -
| man's servant put his head in through
the window and said:
" *Ha'e ye ta'en an insurance ticket?"
" *1 have,' said the doctor.
" 'Then,' said the servant, 'write yea*
name on it and gi'e it to me. They
ha'e an awfu' bad habit o roobin' the
corpses on this line.' "
tion with his discourse. Finally he
found the reason for the frown���he was
preaching in ��� English.���Kansas City
Journal.
Force of Habit.
Titewad's cashier had run away with
$2,000 of his employer's hard earned
money, and the old man was in despair.
He rushed to the nearest drug store.
"Give me some poison!" he cried. "1
wish to commit suicide!"
"Sure," answered the obliging clerk.
"What will you have���morphine or
carbolic acid?"
Titewad hesitated.
"Well," he said, "which is the cheapest?"���Cleveland Leader.
Bill, Inside.
Bill Jones is a country storekeeper
down in Louisiana, and last spring he
went to New Orleans to purchase a
stock of goods. The goods were shipped
immediately and reached home before
he did. When the boxes of goods were
delivered at his store by the drayman
his wife happened to look at thelargest;
she uttered a loud cry and called for a
hammer. A neighbor, hearing the
screams, rushed to her assistance and
asked what was the matter. The wife,
pale and faint, pointed to an inscription
on the box which read as follows:
.   "Bill inside."���Exchange.
Hus'. and Not Going Back.
A woman rushed into a telegraph office the other  day,  says an exchange,
and informed the operator that her
husband had gone to New York to get
a banner for the Sunday school, but
she had forgotten to tell him the Inscription and how large the banner
was to be. She wrote a telegram containing the needed information and
handed it to the operator. It read:
"My dear Frank, Savoy Hotel, New
York City: Unto us a child is born,
eight feet long and two feet wide." The
husband is still in the city, and it is
rumored he isn't going back.
Superstition  excites storms;   philosophy appeases them.��� valtalre.
Let's keep the windows open to tbe
East, be worthy, and some time we shall
know.���Elbert Hubberd.
Absent-Minded.
Principal Hoffman, of the Hiawatha
Academy, is a good story teller, and he
does not hesitate to tell one on himself.
He confesses to being a little absent-
minded at times, especially in regard
to his personal appearance. He was
called to preach a sermon in a German
church once. His wife sat directly in
front of him and he noticed a frown
on her face when he began. He felt
for his tie; that was all right. He
looked at his shoes; nothing wrong with
them. Careful examination showed his
clothes were all right; still the fiown
was there. He did not give up, but
kept up some hard thinking in connec-
The selfish man plants only potatoes,
for he can enjoy the fruits of his labor,
but the truly generou*. ��mn plants tree?*
for future generations.���Atchison Globe.
The animating spirit of all Improvements In individuals and in societies
is not the knowledge of the actual but
the conception of the possible.���Harriet
Martlneau.
"I gave up my pulpit to th estrang-
er,' says the rector of St. John's church,
Dover, N .Y., "and he delivered to my
people one of the best sermons I ever
heard, and before leaving my. house
stole my gold watch." LOWERY'S CLAtot
How a Fool Parson
Overplays the Limit
The Rev. Al. Moor�� who acts as associate secretary of the Lord's Day Alliance is evidently a liar and a slanderer judging from the reports now being printed in the western papers. He
seems to be a theological jackass that
should not be allowed to wander away
from his home. He belongs to a class
who have ever cursed the world with
their narrow views upon religion. Full
of egotism such theologic dope peddlers
morning he arrived, and was promptly arrested and publicly whipped for
his act. In 1670, in New Lorn ion.
Conn., one John Lewis and Sarah
Chapman were arrested for 'sitting
together ou the Lord's clay under an
apple tree in an orchard,' and fined,
both of them. One Stephen Reekes, a
skipper, -brought his ship Into New-
Haven harbor from a cruise to the Barbados, and was haled before the town
court because he, with several otheis,
warped the ship into a creek by the
town in order to protect It from a storm
on Sunday.
got into a good deal of trouble with
the court 'for hia profane expressions'
the court finding that ' he had hoped
to meet some of the members of the
church in hell ere long and did not
question but he would.' Busseker was
sent to prison to stay until sermon time
the next Sunday. During the three-
hour sermon he had to stand ln the
pillory and after that he was whipped
"In New Haven the *blue laws' were
famous tor their severity. No man
could vote in the town elections unless
he were a member of aome church. No
Quaker or dissenter was ever allowed
to step within the borders of the town.
"No one could Tun on the Sabbath
travel through the land at the public'sI day, or walk In his garden or else-! To pick au ear of com growing In en-
expense making trouble for industrious j where, except reverently to and from j other's garden waa deemed theft, aa
people by their foolish notions about | meeting.' No one could 'travel, cook j well as any vegetable or fruit beiong-
day worship when they should be at victuals, make beds, sweep house, cut j Ing to another, penalty for which was
home feeding hogs or hoeing potatoes. | hair, or shave on the Sabbath.' The fine and corporal punishment A young
This chap Moore, in his zeal no doubt violation for any of these acts was
to she w that he was earning his wages. I punishable by fine or whipping in
pu.M;ts an article in the Lord's Day I the public stocks. At the same time,
Ad..�� ee in which he defames the Sun- j if it were shown that the prisoner
day working miners of the west to a 'proudly, presumptuously, and with
lyin nnish. He states that without high handed intent committed the sin.
t-xce. i on these miners, after working j the person thus despising God and re-
a few months, would collect their en-   proaching  Him  shall  be put to death,
that all others may fear and shun such
provoking rebellious courses.'
"The letter of these old Sabbath
keeping laws has been dropped from
the Connecticut statute books for generations, but, as stated above, their intent remains on the code unrepealed.
if useless.
"The early regulations of New Haven
were extremely strict. A law passed in
1650, twenty-three years after the found
tiie wages, and repair to saloons, gambling dens and places of vile lesort where,
in a few days, theii money would all
be spent. If Moore had said that some
of the miners blew in their money In
booze, cards and harlots he would have
spoken the truth, but to assert that
they all did It stamps him as an idiot
who would lie in an endeavor to carry
bis point Of course, no doubt Moore
may be green about the ways of the
west, and some joshers may have loaded
him with hot air about the wicked miners. So many of these pessimistic creed
boosters are so green when they first
man could not 'court a maid In person
or by letter without first obtaining tha
oonsent of her parents.' For the ftrat
offence under this law the pemalty waa
��5, ��10 for the second offence, and for
further repetitions imprisonment at the
pleasure of the court This was an old
Massachusetts law, but the New Haven
code was much more specific than that
of Boston. Trlflina with a young
*ekoman's affections waa strictly forbidden, whether by speech, writing, message, gifts or In any other way.' There
wee a large number of oases brought
to the oourta under this law, which
was one of the reasons tor ita later removal. No one was permitted In New
Haven In 1650 to cross a river except
by the aid of an authorized ferryman.
ation of the colony, waa to the effect   if  a young  swell of the town wished
that If a child be stubborn and refuse
to obey Its parents, and persist in living
In notorious crimes,' it may be put to
land In the woolly that tbey cannot tell death. Shuffleboard was a popular game
a devils fort from a henhouse. Just in 1650 in New England, but it appears
like Rogers, who dealt the Presby-1 to have created some disturbance. A
terian game in Nelson when tenderfeet I law passed In that year disposed of the
were about as scarce as apple trees. He j nuisance summarily by prohibiting its
strolled along the piano end of Baker | playing,  on   the  ground   that   it  'took
street, admiring the scenery and listen
ing to the singing of the birds. Com
ing bade to the Merchants' saloon he
asked some of the boys what the residents meant by having Mollle, Maggie, and other feminine names tacked
upon their doors.    Iney told him, but
up too much precious time,' and 'occasioned much waste of wine and beer.'
"In 1647. when tobacco waa boing
first introduced Into the colony, a man
had to receive a special license In order   to  escape  prosecution   and   public
to row his women friends across the
river he was not allowed to by the law.
A debtor in prison, if he swore that
he had no estate, was sold to pay for
the debt. Whoever brought 'cards and
dice Into the dominion' had to pay a
fine of ��5 (English money). Whoever
wore clothes trimmed with silver, gold
or bone lire at above two shilling*
coat the yard was ^resented <o the
grand jurors and fined.' A sweeping
regulation waa to the effect that no one
should keep Christmas or saints' days,
dance or play carda. Married people
had to live together or be imprisoned,
divorce being allowed only In remark-
abe cases.    In   1812  the card  playing
whipping   for   smoking   a   pipe.     Even
he did not write back to some church' armed with such a floe tun* nt. no man
paper in cold Toronto and tell the could smoke publicly In the streeti of regulation waa still In force, as In tbat
word that without exception all tbe :he town cf New Ha\cn. or In barn-1 year s*.<n young men in New Haven
women in Nelson wore scarlet clothes yards,' or upon training days In any were ar.eated for the crime*, punished
and kicked the ceiling for a consider-   open spaces,' under the penally of six- \ -md made to pay tines and co*ts amount-
atlon.
Moore and his kind of heaven brokers
are out of date. They should have lived
in New England in the seventeenth century. That is when you had to sit up
and take your church gruel without a
whimper.   In order to show what Sun-
pence for each offence. In 1642 a law
was passed to this effect: 'It Is ordered that no young men shall live by
themselves in cellars, but betake
themselves to such families as the in asters thereof will watch over them.'
'Some  odd   court  cases   have   come
day was In those days,  I append the I down on  the old  New  Haven   records
following extracts: | from  those early  times.    In   1647  the
"No woman could kiss her husband case of William Pert was tried. Pert
on a Sunday, nor could a member ot had taken watermelons out of another
a family salute another member in man's lot on a Sunday. His defence
that way. This was a Massachusetts was that 'his master' had sent him inlaw originally, when it waa enforced to the lot to see if any hogs hael strayed
at least once, on the arrival at Boston under the fence, and to bring back
of a sea captain after a two years'! with him a watermelon. He took two
voyage. The captain gallantly saluted watermelons. He was 'publicly cor-
it wife on the wharf on the Sunday I rsoted.'    One  Peter  Busseker in  1648
ing to nearly $5 apiece. The ministers
of the church could not perfoim mar-
-��.ag ceremonies, that offce going to
the legal fraternity. If a man struck
his wife he was fined, but If a woman
struck her husband she might be whipped by town court order. Every man
In the colony had to have hia hair cut
round like a poll by a pumpkin aet on
hia In-iui. or a bowl.
"Some of the old 'blue laws' were
even more curious, if a child, for Instance, atruck ht* father, he might be
put to death. A man who had married two wlvea could he put to death.
'A man who curaes God in an ox-
press and high-handed manner' could
be put to death, as could a man who LOWERY'S CLAIM
aaid that 'the Christian religion is a
politic device to keep ignorant men in
awe,' one who 'iay in wait and put
out the eye of another,' 'whoever, professing the Christian religion, shall deny
the Song of Solomon to be the Infallible word of God.' For this latter grave
offence the first penalty was a severe
public whipping. Death was to be ordered only on a repetition. If a man
used tobacco in his own house even, a
stranger being present, he was fined;
if he used it on a journey, five miles
trom any house, he was allowed to
smoke; but the moment he met any
one or came in sight of the ho *se of
a settler he had to knock out his pipe
ashes, ln those days any single person wishing to keep house without a
servant had to obtain permission ftom
the selectmen. No man could 'present j
a petition on a small or bad piece of
writing paper,' except on penalty of a
heavy fine. If any one set fire to a
wood and it burned a house, causing
any one's death, he could be sentenced
to execution himself.
"Odd instances are numerous of these
old laws, ln 1646 the entire colony
was stirred to its vitals by the arrest
of a Mrs. Eaton for slandering the
Rev. John Davenport, the town minister. Mrs. Eaton had said that the
Rev. Mr. Davenport's sermons had
'made her sick to the stomach,' and
when she reached home she ordered
her son, who had the manuscript, 'to
make waste paper of it' This case
went -before the legislature. Attendance at church was compulsory, as It
later became at the college chapel and
is today at Yale, and penalties were
heavy for failure to keep church engagements. In 1646 a William Blay-
deik -was arrested for being late to
meeting on two Sundays. His defence was that on the first occasion he
did not hear the church drummer,
while on the second he had to stay
abed to allow his clothes to dry from
a wetting they received when in the
rain the day before. These excuses
were not acceptable to the court, and
Blayden was made to stand trial, at
which he was found guilty and whipped for 'profanely breaking the Sabbath, worshipping not God, nor watching for the blessing of God upon him-
aeif.' "
customary reverence way not paid to
his person and his office; so he stopped
his carriage and called out: "Kneel
down, or take off your hat!" But as
the man did neither, the priest sent his
coachman to insist upon obedience. In
the meantime the apprentice had disappeared in the interior of the shop, and
the priest afterward complained to the
police. On being summoned before the
authorities, the accused declared that
he was a stranger, newly arrived in
in that Catholic district, that he was
a Protestant and did not know that it
was the rule to take off the hat to a
Catholic pries passing Dy, carrying the
"host"
Nevertheless, the court sentenced him
to fourteen days' arrest, including two
days of fasting! Fourteen days is a
long time for a healthy workman to be
deprived of his hard-earned wages, and
two days' fasteing, even from prison
fare, is a cruel tax upon a workman's
health. It remains to be seen whether
that sentence can be executed without
protest in these days; at any rate, such
conduct on the part of the Catholic
church explains the ever-inoreasing
"Free-from-Rome" ("Los - von - Rom)"
movement, in Austria and other Catholic countries.���Elizabeth E. Evans, in
New York Truthseeker.
Melodies and Mosaics.
A Sl��:n of the Times.
A few days ago, in an obscure Bohemian village, an incident occurred
which is likely to create a sensation
throughout the civilized world. The village is Tetsehen, noted principally for
lis ancient castle, the seat of the Counts
Thun, an Important family, noted of
late years for political Influence in behalf of the conservative and ultramontane paity in Austria Tetsehen Is on
the river Elbe and is connected with
the shore of Saxony by a chain bridge.
The whole region is strongly Catholic.
Recently a Catholic priest, carrying the
"host," was driving through the village
on his way to administer the sacrament
to a dying person, and passing a blacksmith's shop, where-an apprentice was
shoeing a horse, he noticed that the
Galileo's Prison Song.
Though you fear me, though you doubt
me,
I shall win whate'er befall;
Though you jeer me, though you flout
me,
Truth and I against you all!
Though you bend me, though you break
me,
Time and I against you all;
Time and truth at last shall make me
Lord of you who am your thrall.
Though you chain me, though you burn
me,
Yet the earth, though that befall,
Moves, and though you daunt and turn
me,
It still moves in spite of all!
���Unknown.
truth requires us to regard ourselves
as limited, error flatters us to think of
ourselves as in one or other way unlimited.���Goethe.
A believer is a bird in a cage. A
free-thinker is an eagle parting the
clouds with tireless wing.���Ingersoll.
Dogmatism has its uses; so has axle
grease, but one would not have it for
dessert.���Burlington Hawkeye.
Out upon the intellectual sea there
is room for every sail. In the intellectual air there is spa-^e for every wing.
���Ingersoll.
The world   has   a purpose.   .   .   ..
That purpose aims not at man as an
end, but works through him to greater
issues.���H. G. Wells.
Every reformer lives for posterity and
not for his native times, so take the
scoffs and gibes of ignorance with a serene soul. ���William Wallace Cook.
So many gods, so many creeds,
So many paths that wind and wind.
When just the act of being kind
Is all this sad world needs.
���Ella Wheeler Wilcox.
A belief is not true because it is useful; and it is truth alone���scientific,
established, proved and rational truth
���which is capable of satisfying nowadays the awakened minds of all classes.���Amiel.
Education is the lever that will raise
mankind.���Ingersoll.
Next to the originator of a good sentence, is the first quoter of it.���Emerson.
It requires a strong stretch of vision
for a man to see beyond his own prejudices.���Ople Read.
Moderation Is the silken strink run^
ning through the pearl chain ot all vir- j
tues.���Bishop Hall. '
We must permit nothing���not even
God���to come between us and reason.���
Rev. W. H. Thomas, D. D.
Truth contradicts our nature, error
does not, and for a very simple reason:
Whoever hesitates to utter that which
he thinks the highest truth, lest it
should be too much in advance of the
time, may reassure himself by looking
at his acts from an impersonal, point
of view. Let him duly realize the fact
that opinion is the agency through
which character adapts eternal arrangements to itself���that his opinion rightly
forms part of this agency���is a unit in
force, constituting, with other such
units, the general power which works
out social changes, and he will perceive that he may properly give full
utterance to his innermost conviction,
leaving it to produce what effect it may.
���Herbert Spencer.
Cranbrook
Hotel
Cranbrook, B.C.
Is convenient to all depots, telegraph
���offices and banks in the city. Special attention paid to  tourists,  commercial and
.**    ��
oterwise. The cuisine is excellent, and all
guests re-ceive courteous attenUon. Touch
the  wire when  you  want  rooms  sereveU.
I
Hoggartb & Rollins, Propria to lo
LOWERS fiLAlM
Karwell    Dynamited
By a Bomb of Truth
John  V.  Farwell,  one of  the  "merchant princes" of Chicago, recently addressed the senior class of the McCor-
mic theological seminary, and some ex-;
tracts from  his edifying discourse ap-'
pear in the Record-Herald of November
26th.    Mr.  Farwell is an old man;   he
possesses a large library; is abundantly able to supply himself with current!
literature, and therefore has no excuse j
for neglecting to inform himself upon
the subjects that interest him; and yet
we find this aged nir.n dealing out to
theologic   students  as   settled   facts  a
tissue  of   the   grossest   misstatements,
known to be wholly false by every intelligent person in the laud.   He gravely speaks of ."Chi ist�� career while in
the flesh,"  although   there  Is  no  evi-1
dence anywhere that such a person ever
existed.    Josephus,   who   lived   witihin j
about fifty years of the alleged time of J
Jesus, never heard of him;  and  there
ire many other writers   of   that day.
some of whom  resided  in  the city  of
Jerusalem  at   the  very   moment   when
this alleged Christ was performing miracles,  and  yet, strange    to    say,  they
knew  nothing about  him or  his  marvelous deeds.    Doctor Croffut cites the
names of twenty  historians  who  then \
lived in or near Palestine, and who must
have known Jesus if he had lieen a real
personage, and yet not one of them so
much   as  mentions   him.    The   priests
who manufactured the Christ story (or
borrowed it from the Babylonians and
other nations) had sense enough to see
that  this   intense   silence  of   Josephus
and other historians would be observed
and that tbe question would be asked:
Why did they not speak of Jesus? Theie-
fore, they proceeded to forge passages
in  Josephus,   Tacitus  and  others,   but
these forgeries were promptly exposed
and denounced, and today even biblical
supporters do not dare to pretend that
those passages are genuine, although If
they were genuine it would not make
the least difference.    Furthermore, the
Christ story in various ways proves itself to be untrue.    Jesus refers about
twenty-five times to Moses,  as though
Moses   were   an: actual   entity,   saying
among other things tJohn v:46), "For
had >e believed in Moses ye would ha.c
believed  in  me,  for he  wrote of  me.'
Fifty years ago Bishop Colenso showed
by the 34th  chapter of II. Chronicles
that  the  Jews   never  heard  of   Moses
until  the  time  of   Josiiah.   about  620
years before Christ; and it is now generally  admitted  by  the  higher critics
and others that Moses is a myth, no
such person having ever existed.   Thia
fact is now    confirmed    by    Professor
Daniel   Vol tor,   who   shows   that    the
Moses  story  was  stolen  by  the Jews
from an Egyptian saga,   Jesus declared that the end bf the world was so
close at hand that It would be witnessed by some of those then living (Matthew,  xvl:28).    The  Rev.   Dr.  Savage
says the disciples expected the return
of Jesus within twenty-five years, be
cause he told them (Matthew xxlv:34),!
"This generation .hail not pass away
until all these things be fulfilled." We'
have seen'that the virgin-birth story
was also stoten by the Baoyionians,
and that such fictions were common
among various nations, the gods often
coming down to earth and cohabiting
with "the daughters of men." We now
know tnat sucu a thing as the ascension of Christ unto heaven is absurd,
there being no such locality. But such
a uiry tale was quite probaole to a
people so lgnoraut of astronomy that
i be y thought our earth was hat and j
stationary and lhat "heaven" was up !
in the air at so short a distance that!
it could be reached by means oi a lad-
der (Genesis, xxvili: 12). or by building!
a tower (Genesis, xt:4), while the * hell" ���
piovided for unoeltevers was located in!
the bowels of the earth, volcanic fires
with their sulphurous flames being the
���>a.-*is ior this pne-stiy fictiou. Hot Mr.
John V. Farwell keeps right on with
this "ascension" twaddle as though Hi
were a historic fact, and talks of "Satan's most tiagic efiort lu opening
the gates of hell." when children In the
primer class know that both Satan and
hell are baseless myths. He says tbat
"there were no moie deuials from Peter," John V. Farwell with all his millions not having oeeu able to lea. u that
Peter is a myth like the rest, having
been manufactured by the priesis out
oi nothing four hundred years alter the
time of Peters alleged existence. When
we encounter such profound ignorance
in a millionaire what must be the mental outfit of the man who carries mortar lu a hed for a dollar and a half a
day?
John V. Farwell says: "They (the
McCormick theologic students) are going to the ends ot the earth with Hia
message of peace and good w.ll to men."
Now if there is one thing more idiotically Impudent than another SUOUt thia
Christ business il certainly is the pretension that he brought to us "a message of peace," for he hii.:-l. declared
the exact contrary (Matthew, x:J4):
"Think not that 1 am come to aend
peace on earth: I came not to aend
peace, but a sword. For I am co.ne to
set a man at variance against hia father, and the daughter against her
mother, and the daughter-in-law a;ainat
htr mot hei-in-law. And a man'.** toe*
shall be they of his own househo d.
How well this aecUuatlon his been
verified the pages of history abundantly
inform us. More than one hundred
millions of human beinga have been
slaughtered In religious wars, burned
at the stake, dismembered by the rack,
impaled upon spikes, .torn by pincers,
crushed with the "Spanish boot," blinded with red-hot IronB, starved in dungeons, disemboweled, torn limb from
limb by horses, acourged to death with
thongs deprived of their tongues, and
by a thousand other devlcea have been
tortured by priestly flenda, and all of
this "for the glory of God." They have
made of this fair world a slaughterhouse, a howling hell and a graveyard,
and have then bad the effrontery to
call  lt "peace."    Yes, and they  would
be doing the same thing unto this very
moment did they possess the power, the
only reason why they are not today
torturing and killing "heretics" being
that the priest has lost his grip. Not
long ago one of these priests had a controversy with a skeptic, and being unable to refute the arguments presented
he savagely declared: "You ought to
have the tongue cut out of your head!"
In the good old days they cut out the
tongue of the doubter and thus settled
the case out of hand, but In these degenerate times they are reduced to the
pitiful necessity of telling him what
"should" be dono with him. Doe* any
reasonable person believe that this
priest would not have out out the
tongue of the skeptic had he been able
to do ao? Certainly not All of us
know that the church has never voluntarily relinquished an atom of its power nor abandoned one of ita dogmas
until absolutely compelled to do so.
and we also know that the intolerant
and persecuting apirit la as univeisal
today as It was a thousand years ago.
In aplte of our alleged but spurloua
"civilization."
Where haa John V. Farwell lived that
he haa not yet  learned of the revelations made���not by Ingersolla or other
agnostics,  but by    devout    churchmen
like  Rev.   Mi not   J.  Savage and otheia
who are searching for the truth and are
honest enough to declare that truth to
the world?    John  V. Farwell has been
what  ia called  "a successful" business
man, and  knows    all    aliout    the dry
goods trade, but of the bible, its eon-
tenta and  its origin he ia as ignorant
as a suckling Infant   "Hia mother told
him ho" when he was a child, and that
was  quite   enough   for  him.     He  haa
never taken the trouble to examine the
grounds upon  which his mother baaed
her statements, nor una he considered
that his mother may have been misinformed,  obtaining this misinformation
from   her   also   misinformed   mother���
and so on all the way back.   It lfl also
evident  that  John   V.   Farwell  has  not
himself read  the Christ story,  for had
he done so he  would  know  tbat  it is
monstrously   Improbable;   that   it  contradicts Itself In  important particulars,
and  that  it  was  not  only  not   written
by the alleged autho.s but was w.ltte-t
by unknown persons !on^ after the Uipo
when   the  events  na. rated  are sail  I ��������
have taken place.    He would not Lu l
one of  his customer  with  a  yard  oi"
damaged calico or a roll of tape on the
strength of such "testimony" as Is contained  in the New Testament and yet
he gravely delivers himself of this miserable drivel to the McCormick students
as though It were hlatorlB and undia-
puted truth. .
All of which suppllea ua with additional llluatratlon of the well-known
fact that a man may be a good lawyer,
doctor, Journalist, mechanic. shopkeeper, etc., and yet be a theologto
Damphool. -
^m^^-^BBBei^MSBSMSSSSSBjWaSSMSSSiS^S--------^^^^.  ^S
BLtrfl PRIZE, HENRY V,ANE. COW)M-
BU8 and HAVANA ARK CU>AR��
are Union Mado eigara,  made by^vy.   �����
Kllbourne   &  Co..   Winnipeg,   amI   sold  ou
the  road   by  QI��X>RtHi}  HORTON. L6WERYS CLAIM
11
Letters Received.
A. G. Descent, of Superior, Wis.,
sends in $1 and says he cannot keep
house without THE CLAIM. He also
offers us $1,000 if we will prove that
there is or ever was a personal God
gs described in the Bible.
Agentleman In Fernie writes congratulating us upon the success of the
-jn-unldpai reform we Inaugurated in
the coal city last summer. With one
exception the new Council are all
pledged to work for the city in preference to the interest of any greedy corporation. Thanks; we will get our reward in feeling that Fernie may now
enjoy better days.
The editor of one of the most prominent dailies in America sends us %\
and remarks: "1 need THE CLAiliM
to keep me bright in my dull moments
and mad in my serious ones. 1 do not
agiee with all your philosophy���it
breathes too much of sin, license and
the devil. But even the devil has his
useful points, and so has LOWERY'S
CLAIM. Occasionally I am able to recognize original thought when 1 see It
running a mad race at right angles
with the beaten track. Your pen pourings are scarcely orthodox. They seem
to run up Instead of down hill. So I
want to read them because they tickle
my fancy, season my brain and set my
Imagination a-rovlng. I may curse you
for a mad man when I read, but I
read just the same. I really owe you
another dollar for the entei tain ment,
pin pricks and suggestions I have stolen
in the past, but 1 am not honest enough
yet to pay it."
1 One of the most eminent writers
tn the United States says in a private
letter: "1 hope you have done a good
thing financially in reviving THE
CLAIM, but I know it will not pay
what you deserve, because this world
fs full of persons wbo for business and
Other reasons fear to come out into
fhe open and express their real opinions upon the subject of what is wrongfully called " religion." Do not get discouraged. Array yourself In the armor
of Truth, bearing the shield of a just
cause, and with your trenchant pen
punch full of holes the windbag of superstition. Swat thu lying, swindling
priest In the salor plexus and give him
a black eye! Too long already has he
had his Inning; too long has he traded
upon the credulity and Ignorance of his
feilowa, professing to be the "guide,
philosopher and friend" of humanity,
while he has ln fact been its scourge
and its curse. Knock sheol, hades, tar-
tarus, gehenna and hell out of these
ministerial deadbeats and gold-brick
swindlers who impudently style themselves the servants of the l/ird,' and
millions yet unborn snail rise Up and
call you a peach."
A correspondent from East Kootenay
Bays: "The underlying priuciple of religion Ib all right. It is the inconsistency ot its followers that causes people
to be disgusted with it and to ridicule  their  endeavors to build  up  the
Holy Edifice.    Hie very pillars of the
church are a rotten mass of hypocrisy,
if the everyday life of some of the Sunday school superintendents was known
to  the  scholars   they   would  stale-egg
i hem and close up service.   Those men
wi.l frequent houses  of  ill-fame,  and
tney will use all the wiles of Satan that
their  licentious  propensities have  endowed them with to allure their "neighbors'   darlings"   into   their  warm   embrace,  using  their mantle of piety  to
cover the*r wickedness.    A fallen one
on  her  deathbed said   that often  she
aad been passed on the street by ladies
who shrank fiom her very atmosphere,
while she knew where their husoands
bad passed the previous night.    As a
rule women are very    much    deluded.
Some of them are sweet and innocent
enough  to be  bluffed 25 hours out of
24, and perhaps it is just as well, for
if they  knew ail    their    dear    hearts
would soon be broken.   Wake up, wives,
and have your eyes about you.   Do not
be imposed upon with honeyed excuses
oout business matters and little daily
or nightly visits somewhere or nowhere,
there are very few faithful husbands.
vne best of them are deceitful.    They
aie as much in  love with some other
man's wife as they are with their own,
and those who are true to their mar-
t lage vows are those who were not born
with the natural propensity to be otherwise, or else they lack the opportunity
to develop it"
About Float
Float is not a periodical, It Is a book
containing $�� illustrations, all told, and
is filled with sketches and stories of
western life, lt tells how a gambler
cashed in alter the flush days of Sandon; how it rained in New Denver long
alter Noah was dead; how the parson
Look a drink at Bear Lake in early
days; how justice was dealt in Kasio
iii 98; how the saloon man outprayed
the women in Kalamazoo, and graphically depicts the roainings of a western I
editor amongst the tenderfeet in thei
cent belt, lt contains the early his-1
tory of Nelson and a romance of the
Silver King mine. In it are printed
three western poems, and dozens of articles too numerous to mention. Send
for one before it is too late. The price
is 25 cents, postpaid to any part of the
world.    Address all letters to
R. T. LOWERY, Nelson, B. C.
In Cold Spokane.
After being held at the undertaking
rooms of Smith & Co., in Spokaue, for
nine months pending the payment of
funeral expenses, the remains of Miss
Marie Coyle were finally buried in the
Fairmount cemetery. To hold a corpse
for nine months in order to get even
on the expenditure of a few dollars
is a new and diabolical way to collect
money. Surely Spokane is still in the
savage era, or worse. It is a city filled
with rich parvenus, and parsons who
use strenuous and sensational methods
tcTdown the devil while Shylocks in
demSng their pound of flesh hold
fhTtnYbalmed body of a young woman
for nine months. It is a wonder they
did not set the body up in the window
as an advertisement for their preserving department. Sposane prides itself
upon its progressive spirit, and some
of its parvenus have thousands to throw
away on wine, feathers, autos and
churches, but none there were to come
forward, not even the church, to unhook the grasp of the sordid undertaker and inter the girl beneath the daisies, where all are equal. It Is true that
we cannot hurt the dead, but for the
credit and honor of modern civilization
no corpse should be kept away from
its um or the grave, and the city authorities in permitting such a thing
have blackened the name of Spokane
when we think of charity generosity
and respect for the dead.
Too Many.
"And David had five kings before
him," read tne pastor.
"Gosh!" exclaimed the man in the
rear pew. "I'm glad David wasn't in
the game last night.' -New York World.
God is wherever r^t is done.���Schiller.
Receiving a new truth is adding a new
sense.���Liebig.
Doubt is the key of knowledge.���Persian Saying. .
Truth will vindicate itselt; only error
feais free speech.���W. J. Bryan.
Journalism was once a profession;
then it became a trade; now it's a
crime.���Life.
It is a profound mistake to think that
everything has been discovered; as well
think the horizon the boundary bf the
world,���Lemaire.
Keep hammering away, even at the
risk of being deemed a victim of crotchets. For this is not an over-intelligent
world.���John Fiske.
The dawning century will have to undertake a new education of mankind
if we are not to relapse. . . . New
inventions are less needed than new
ethics.���Max Nordau.
What I look to is a time when, the
impulse to help our ftn-uws shall be as
immediate and irresistible as that which
I feel to grasp something firm if I am
falling.���George Eliot.
They are but few who do the thinking of mankind, and the great masses
are led by the few sometimes in the
right, sometimes in the wrong direction. It matters little whether this.is
to be regretted or not, it remains a fact
and must be faced, vet this state of
things makes every independent thinker the more valuable. Every man who
is an independent thinker is a power in
his sphere, and will contribute ashare
to the further evolution of thought in
humanity.���Or. Paul Cams, .   ^ 12
L6WERYS CLAM
In   The  Cent   Belt
Sunday Fiends Flourish
1 find this announcement in the Calgary  Herald of November 22:
"Tbe Unci's l)Ay Alliance threatens
legal action against the mayor of St.
Catherines for permitting a section of
a sewer to be laid on Sunday."
And this threat waa made in the twentieth century, mind you���the age of
free schools, enlightment and progress,
and In one of Canada's largest and presumably most Intelligent communities;
where the people have access to newspapers, books and other sources of information, and aie a��ppoaed to lie endowed with faculties which enable them
to reason and reflect. And If such e-.n>
bigotry, intolerance and fanaticism prevails In the city of St. Catherines, what
must be the condition of the human
mind in less favored sections of the
Dominion? To what purpose have we
spent untold millions in the building,
equipment endowment and maintenance of schools and colleges if such a
display of stolid ignorance and superstition is all we hnve to show for (his
vast expenditure, even in one of our
chief cities?
Undoubtedly for good and sufficient
reasons the mayor of St Catherines
authorised or permitted certain needed
labor to be done on the first day of
the week, and tt appears that by ao
doing the mayor offended the prejudices
of some bigots who have banded themselves together under the title of "The
l-ord a Day Alliance," and who arrogate
to themselves the right to regulate the
actons of other people. Being truly
good and virtuous themselves they propose to compel the rest of mankind to
site up to their standard, even though
they have to resort to legal proceedings to accomplish th��ir benevolent purpose. In the fifteenth chapter of Numbers we find the following incident narrated:
"And while the children of Israel
were tn the wilderness they found a
man that gathered sticks upon the Sabbath  dav.     And   tbey  that  found   him
own hands and fitly chastise thoae who
do not accept their peculiar Ideas, but
they are obliged to t*sort to the couits
just like coniuiou, everyday unsanctifled
persons, il is indeea aumlliating to reflect that these incarnations of piety
aud all the virtues are not permitted
to have a free hand in such matters,
uumpeUlni���by violence If necessary���
ail others to become as righteous as
themse;ves; but it unfortunately happens that there is no Moses now to receive the commandments of the Lord,
and even if there were such a person
tie and his congi egation would get themselves into seiious trouble tf they
-hould presume to stone a man who
gathered sticks oa the Sabbath or any
other day of the week. Indeed���shocking as it may appear to "The lord's
Day Alliance "���-Moses aud bis congregation   would   apeedily find themselves
���.
to Jerusalem, but Joseph of "The Lord's
Day Alhance" would know that nowadays "dreams go by coutrsriea," and
would send the girl right home to her
mother. Thus laiii....aniy have we
drifted away from the ancient moorings
and the childlike faith of our fathers.
uid now let us ah*) consider the authority for this remarkable nanative;
and in order that there shall be no
suspicion of prejudice against the writer hereof we shall call to the witness
stand the Rev. Mi not J. Savage, pastor
of the Chuich of the Messiah in the city
of New York. In a discourse delivered
by Mr. Savage a few weeks ago he
said:
"Who wrote the gospel of St. Matthew? Nobody knows. Who wrote
Mark? Nobody knows Who wrote
Luke? Nobody knot*. They sre all
purely  anonymous.    They  grew  up iu
shape The  angels  appeared
long after the crucifixion.    The gospel
of Johu is ln no proper sense a history
nous author somewhere late In the second century. . . . The goapela were
for a long time used in manuscript in
Sf -  �� **��� m**%f 9t***m-*Jm        I.UVIIIOV |  * ^T��   I     ��  ** ���       ���W ���  ** ***��� ^*sT.    m
engaged  in  stone  work  of  a different' ***** wurse of years Into their present
character,   namely,   that    of    reducing
rock to dimensions suitable for macadamizing the highways. And, worse than
all this, if Moses should plead that he'*1 aiI ,l WA* written by an auony
had been commanded by the Lord he
would be informed that such an order
cut no ice wheu compared with a police magistrates commandment to the* lhe eari*y clnwnbni; and we know that
sheriff to place a ball and chain upon ��� additions were niade and pa&iages were
the venerable patriarchs sacred leg ini0^^ llh*1 **�� ll wmH a COUIB,on
order to prevent the aforesaid vener- lh,n* for Prtttrt* and monks to make
able patriarch from jumping his job ��� additions to these sacred and inspired'
And now let us briefly consider thei writings, and to manufacture entirely
reason why these holy persons who n���W '5��*P*te' In order to bolster up
compose "The Lord's Day Alliance"' lh* original monstroua and Incredible
threaten with legal prosecution the'a***?* i**tifylng these P***18 f^uda'
mayor of St Catherines    U is because! b* declaring that they were committed
they  daim   that   the  first  day  of  thei ,or lh* *,or>    of   God'1      The    book
 ._           . 'ascribed lo the apostle James was undoubtedly   written   about   the  year   150
week, commonly  known aa Sunday   Is
sacred to a person named Jesus, whom
they say was the son of God basing thiai A- D Who w,ole U **��** knows,
allegation upon certain writings in a! ��� ��� ��� ��� ���> lhere li no lrace an>
book called the New Testament. Ac-! *uch lhin* as that lhe dhw*ples wrote*
cording to the story there narrated a  anything  about  Jesua. Pnm
young woman in Judea who waa en-idled about the year 66 A. D. Up to
gaged to tie married was found to be ��� that time there had been no doctrine
with child. Joseph, her betrothed hus-1 of the Immaculate conception or the
band, having ifcscovrred this uo pleas-' nil rac ulcus birth. The whosl c>de of
ant fact wns shoot to leje, t ner when! hiith-stories that we find in the opeu-
an angel" came to htm in a drvam
and   informed   the   sleeping   man   that
God or his ghost   (whatever that  may
be>   was  responsible    ior    the    young
gmtheeing sticks brought him to Moaes   womans condition.    As thia  is alleged! not
to  have taken  place nineteen  hundred
were stricl-
and Aaron and to the congregation  And
tley   put him in  ward, because It  was   >earJ **�� whrn ait   angels
not  tie-dated   *hat  should   be  done  to
him.    And the lxird aaid  un'o Hoses:
���The man ..-hall surety te put to tenth;
;ng chapters of Matthew and Luke were
ulte.ly unknown. Psu! hsd ne>er heard
of Hum. There is no trace of his believing iu the deity of Jeaus Paul did
oel.cve in everiastng punishment.
, . . . Tbe twelve d.scipie **> far
as  we  have any  record, aid not  kuow
ly  t..;:..!  i ami  v.1^.:  th.ngs that  hap-   aa>ti.in;  at  ail    a.*o��*     aa    oKjai*'
ptaed in creams vmy quite as er-ed.ti.e   cbaich*.    Iheie was no cattC* in M    -
t>   iu, j  h   tho   Sloemr   ha.l   uee.i   wide   .neai tbat time.    'l'Ley  knew nutn.i |
the   aipep-tr   had   oeea   wide; ��a ��- at  ,
all   the  congregation   shah   stone   him  awake,  of  course Joseph  was entirely ] about   any  aacranaenta.   ��^��*  n*V   d
with atones without the camp.'   And all   **at��v*fied and  married the girl accord-   been Instituted    [but    were   ���"*
the -congregation  brought him  without   Ing to agT*eenient.    In our more akep-! manufactured by tbe P"w* *"��
the camp, and atoned him with stones.   ti*nl times such an explanation aa this' time to time added to the ���^*".iv<l
end he died; as the Lord commanded   would  not  be generally accepted���per-  dsr to make a pompoui�� and 'm��^L t
Mossed hap* because a  be! Jet   In  ghosts ta not! oervmonial  and  to  make  tne igm*jj_
Thu. ia the manner tn which our pious! ��o common aa it was two thousand people believe that the P���*^n~ thev
ancestors served tbose wbo Infringed year* ago Indeed, it Is perfectly safe; ing something to earni tne mun j
tibe priestly code; bat we havs so sadly lo assert lhat should any Joseph, eveaj received from their <"**"?' ' * thJin
fallen away since tbose good old days among the -credulous members of The sign of the cross is mucn i
lhat It te aw kssger permissible to take Lore* Day Alliance" find that his beat Cbr stlanlty; we find It ^"*#"^nwi
mayors aad other wicked persona with- girl was about to become e mother, a a good many other wpm tTmuch
ont  Ibe  camp and   atoc*   tbem   until   large flock of angels would experience  wa* sUso very widespread awi ifX
tbey tie. as tbe Lord commanded M*ws   ��xkiaidersble   difficulty    In   convincing older ibaa Chrial^J- J1* "",     :d.
Tbts is a Itigbtfnl fact, bat It i�� a fad   him  that   a ghost   holy or otherwise, i la ail of Its JistsalilH W�� " r^r
jast the^same    Even so godly an asscv   was the father of the coming Infant  er than ChrtatiaxMty: didu*H't/w?tB,Tne
cist km of enlata as The lord's Dajr   An angel    might   come   to him. In a  with It and la not |w*��iiar �� ��l-
Ariiance" csmaot take tbe law Into tb*<r  dream, and talk and talk from January   divine  paternity  is ewe or ine LOWERY'S CLAIM
13
beliefs in the world, and as for the incarnation,  perhaps a  dozen other  religions have believed that from time to
time  the  gods  have  appealed  in  the
guise of man, either   coming   to    us
through  means of a miraculous  birth
or in some other fashion.   The trinity
also Is  much older than Christianity,
and is not in any sense peculiar to it.
Other religions have    had    their doctrines of sin;  other religions have of-
feied the world salvation; other religions have taught the doctrine of atonement, or sacrifice ior sin.   Other religions have taught the divine anger; have
taught punishment after death.    I can
not now go into any farther details in
regard to it, but 1 know what I am saying when  I  assert that  there  is  not
one single doctrine which is regarded
as central as Christianity, or essential
to it, which may not be found in some
foim or other m one or more of the
other religions   And so, if we are seeking for some peculiailty as to rite or
ceremony or sacrament or doctrine by
which   we  can   mark  Christianity   and
set it apait as a religon by itself, we
shall not be able to And it."
You will please take particular notice
that the foregoing statements were not
made by  Voltaiie,  Bob  Ingersoll, Tom
Paine ner by any other agnostic or infidel, but by a regularly ordained clergyman  in   good  standing,  to  wit,  the
Reverend    Minot   J.    Savage,   of   the
Church of the Messiah, In the city of
New York, V. S. A., in the month of
November. 1905.    And if what he says
la true���ani it Is true, every last word
of  It���than  what are  we to  think  of
the intelligence of the persons who compose "The Lord's Day Alliance' of St.
Catherines. Ontario?   The facts as set
forth by Mr. Savage are fully confirmed
not  only   D)    .arge   numbers  of  other
clergymen,  among whom arc many of
the   higher critics," but are proved by
the very gospels themselves, which arc
a compound of gross absurdities, contradictions  and  childish   fictions.    Nobody knows by whom or when or whcic
they were written, although  it  is well
known  to every student that  none of
them were written by the persons whose
names they bear, nor until many years
alter the time when  those events are
alleged to havc taken place.   They are
utterly without backing of any son. nnd
are  therefore  no more entitled  to respectful consideration than   are   other
fabulous atorles such  as Jack and the
Beanstalk, or Aladdin and His Wonderful  Lamp.    That    these    gospels    are
frauds  Is not only well  known to all
scholars today, but they were denounced as such by    "the    fathers   of   the
church"  themselves  as  soon  as these
writings appeared    During a controversy between Augustine and Fauste, about
the year 400, Fauste said:
.���The books called the Evangelists
have been composed long after the
times of the apostles by some obscure
men who. fearing that the world would
not give credit to their relation of matters of which they could not be Informed, have published them under the
names of the apostles; and which are
sp fulj of sottlshnese anel discordant re
lations that there is neither argument
or connection betweeu litem.   ...   It
is thus that your predecessors have inserted  in  the scriptures of  our  Lord
many things which, though they carry
his name, agree not wilh his doctrines,
'this is not surprising, since we have
often   proved   that   these  things   have
not been wiitten by iiunself, nor by his
apostles, but that for the greatest part
they are founded upon tales, upon vague
repoits,  and  put together  by  I  know
not what hah-Jews,    with    but    bttle
agreement between them;    and   which
they have nevertheless published under
the names of the apostles of our Lord,
own errors and lies."
and have thus attributed them to their
Among these 'errors   and   lies" are
the epistles alleged to have been written by "Saint" 1'eter, all of which the
higher cr.tics have branded as lorgei-
ies.    Judge Parish B. Ladd assures u3
that this "saint' was never heard of until the time of Pope innocent 1.  (402-
���117), who was in lac ene first pope:
"'ihe church created    Peter   out   of
nothing, and threw back his lime more
than  tour hundred years.      This    was
done to give age and credibility to the
popish   claims   of   apostolic    heiedity.
This system of    c�� eating    myths    and
throwing  time  back  for  centuries  ha=
ever been the common practice of the
Catholic   church.    Like  all   else   from
Rome, Peters life is obscuie, resting on
vague oral tradition, and even that tradition contradicts itself as to the man's
uativity, his labors, or when or where
his death.    By  the  most  liberal  rules
of evidence we fail  to nnd  that  such
a man ever existed."
Boulanger,  in ris \Ke of Paul, says:
"The  Marcionists  (a Christian  sect)
declared that the evangelists were fl.led
with  falsities.    The  Manichaens,   who
formed a very numerous sect at the beginning    of    Christianity,    rejected  as
I lalse  all  of  the  New  Testament,  and
showed  other  writings quite different,
whicli   they   gave   for   authentic.    Thc
I Corinthians,  like  the  Marcionists,  ad-!
! mitted   not   the  Acts of   the   Apostles.
The    Eucratites    and    the    Seveniausj
adopted    neither    the    Acts    nor    the
Epistles of    Paul.     Chrysostom, in a
homily which  lie made upon the Acts
of the Apostles, says that in his time
���aliout   the   year    400���many    people
knew nothing either of the author of
thc book.    St Irene, who lived before
that time, reports that the Valentians,
like several other scots of the Crust ians,
accused  the  scriptures  of  being  filled
with  imperfections, errors and contradictions.    The Ebionites or  Nazarines.
wiio were the first Christians, rejected
all the epistles of Paul, and regarded
him as an impostor."
And yet while all of this overwhelming evidence of fraud, forgery, contradiction, imposture, "errors and lies" is
well known to the Rev. Mr. Savage, to
the higher critics, and to every other
person who cares to inform himself
upon this subject; and while the New
Testament story proves Itself to be utterly false and fictitious, the obscure
sect of fanatics Impudently and arrogantly styling themselves "The Lord's
Day Alliance" remain in ignorance as
dense as though they were living in
the blackest corner *i Darkest Africa
instead of being residents of the city
of St. Catherines, Ontario;    Is it any
wonder that the priest still continues
to wax fat upon the contributions of
his credulous victims when such stolid
and  unreasoning cattle as  these shut
themselves up In their shell of bigotry
and  refuse to recognize  truths which
are evident to every intelligent person
on earth?   There is not an atom of evidence to show that even so much as
one word of the New Testament story
is true.    On the contrary, the internal
evidence  in    the  book    itself    clearly
proves that it is a priestly fiction from
beginning to end, and much of it was
denounced by the very "fathers of the
church" as a mass of "errors, contradictions, lorgeries and lies."    In spite
of   which   "The   Lord's   Day   Alliance"
Imbeciles persist in assuming that these
exploded  fictions are undisputed  facts,
and  if they possessed  the power  they
would stone to death the mayor of St.
Catherines just as "the Lord commanded Moses."    Unluckily for these smug
and sanctimonious Pharisees the church
is not quite so powerful as it was in
the good old times, and therefore these
pious soui.> gnash their fangs in impotent rage while they resort to the only
revenue now left them, whioh Is to dig
up some blue law enacted during the
middle ages and endeavor to galvanize
it into renewed life.    So does the old
intolerant, persecuting spirit still survive  to assure  us  tuat there are yet
among us  those who would  only  too
gladly  re-establish    the    dungeon,  the
rack and burning at the stake "for the
glory  of God"  and    of    the    precious
saints of "The Lords Day Alliance."
When such an exhibition of tenth
century ignorance, bigotry and fanaticism occurs in the city of St. Catherines. Ontario, is it at all surprising
that in Russia other alleged Christians
are persecuting and slaughtering Jews
because their people are falsely charged with having killed the son of God
nineteen hundred yeare ago?
Dr. A. Milloy
DENTI *T
A��M>rdecn  Block,  t
BAKER ST.. NBIiSON, B. C.
John Hutchis' n & Co.
Headquarters   for
EAST  KOOTENAY  TIMBER,   FARMING
AND COAL LANDS.
gggrt****   Cranbrook, B. 0.
R. ELLIOTT
KASIX>,   B.C.
Sells Furniture, Coffins, Billiard and fool
Tables,   Wall   Paper,   Mirrors
ancl Bar Fixtures.
WRITE   FOR  ANYTHIN-G  YOU .WANT, 14
LOWERY'S CLAIM
Must Chew Properly
To Be Happy
Gladstone chewed every mouthful of
meat he ate thirty-two tunes, but sixty
times is not too oiten to chew a mouthful of solid tood, accoidiug to a well-
known specialist on stomach diseases,
who declares that it is the one sure
way to avoid indigestion, stomach ano
intestinal  troubles.
"Dach mouthful should be chewed
from fifteen to sixty seconds, according to tne kind of solids it contains,'
he says. "Kvery piece should be
ground into has pulp and thorough!)
mixed with the saliva in the mouth
before it is in a condition to be properly digested. Swallowing should be
a slow, almost formal action, for if a
bite is gulped down even after it has
been well masticated it will cause distress by lodging in the thorax for a
lew seconds and bringing on a dull
heaviness in the chest and stomach.
"Some fooos should be more thoroughly masticated than others. For
instance, beef, veal, mutton���in fact,
all heavy foods should be chewed foi
at least a minute, while soft cereals,
mushes and well cooked vegetables
need not be held in the mouth for more
than fifteen seconds before they will
be ready to swallow. All liquids���tea,
;uoffoe, milk, w*��ne, water���should be
drunk slowly. Five minutes at least
should be given over to the slow sipping of a cup of fluid, whether it Is hot
or cold, for a quantity suddenly put
into the stomach is not healthful, and
trequently causes ��,u uncomfortable
fullness, which, if continued, results in
a foim of indigestion."
The principal directions of one eminent specialist on digestive troubles
are, in most every case which comes to
him, to cat much less and chew it
more. ���
"If the time that can be devoted to a
meal is short," he says, "it would be
well to remember that a small quantity
of nourishing food, properly masti-
sated, Is more beneficial than a larger
amount poorly chewed and swallowed
in a hurry. The best plan 1 know ls
to leave the table without entirely satisfying ones hunger, while another
baked appfe or piece of beef would
taste good.
"Dinner being the principal meal or
the day, more solid foods are generally
served, and for that reason alone more
time is required in properly eating it I
A few minutes should be given in tak-
ing soup, which can be chewed or swal-
lowed like fluids, according to the In-'
dividual  desire.    Many  persons believe j
that  milk  should  always   be  chewed.
Two-thirds of    the    dinner    hour, or!
longer,   if convenient,   should   be  used |
in eating meats,  vegetables, etc., and I
the remainder of the period given over j
to the mastication of desserts, which,
if of pastry or eake, require agout half j
as long a time as the chewing of meats.!
"Persons who have vigorous exrecisej
and  sty up late should  have a fourth
jaeal at e$oty 11 or \% o'clock..   This|
should be the lightest of all.
"Foods fried should be chewed a
longer time than those prepared by
boiling, baking or roasting, for they
are harder to digest, anel for that reason should be more thoroughly masticated."
Chewing food thoroughly accomplishes the double results of mincing
it so that the juicas of the stomach
can get at the individual particles anel
combining it with saliva, which, In
itself, is a powerful digestive agent.
Hospitality.
A man who made a wagon trip
through the southern state? tells the
following story of southern hospitality:
"I went to a farmer to ask him the
way to the nearest town. ' 'Light,
stranger, an* come to dinner.' he aaid.
He Insisted, and eso I* lit' They had a
great big dish of fried potatoes in the
middle of the table. The host pushed
the dish toward me .-.nd aaid:
" 'Have some, stranger.* I took a
spoonful, and pushed them back. He
pushed them over again and said:
'Have some more, at ranger.' I took another spoonful and pushed them back.
He said: "Hike a whole lot. stranger.'
So I took another spoonful, and pushed
them back. Then he pushed them over,
and said:
" 'Take damn near all of 'em, stranger."
 ���   ��� 1 ��� mmmmmtmm*mnm*\\\\%I
indeed he strong when religion was
dragged ln the mud of rotten political
tactics in order to boost a man and a
party into power. It Is s bad omen
for the newest province In Canada
Philosophy,   well   understood.   Is  an
excellent rosd to heaven.���Chastel.
S. J. Mighton
CRAKBROOK.  B. tt
Has the- largest stork e��f Pipes, Tobaccos,
Cigars and Smokers' Sundries in the interior of  B.   C,
Ma'l  orders  receive  prompt attention.
F>f*?UIT      ,n ,rt nml * acre M,oc,*s
I  AAsro      0N KOOTB-KAY lakh
LmMnlLr O        For sale un easy  terms.
J. E. ANN ABLE
K8LBON. B.C. v
Science Is the great sntidote to the
poison of enthusisam and superstition.
���Adam Smith.
Truth In the great practical concerns
of life ia so much a question of the reconciling and combining of opnosltea.
that very few have minds sufficiently
capacious and impartial to make the
adjustment with an approach to correctness.���John Stuart Mill.
��� - .���...  _.  mg **
We must never forget that human aspirations, human ideals, are as much a
part of the phenomena which makew up
this casually-connectc*d universe aa the
Instincts and appetites that are common to man and the other animals.���
David  G.  Ritchie.
Fruit,Shade  XRPPQ
Ornamental    ! ri|"K*^
FOR   FALL   PLANTING
Gardc-n. Held and flower seeds, cut flowers uml greenhouse plants.
VANCOUVER, B.C.
Sharp & Irvine
MiLing Brokers
Re*al BstMte anel Insurance Agent*
ITOfJON, ite.
Man haa already furthered evolution
very considerably, half unconsciously
and for his own personal advantaee. hut
he haa not yet risen to the conviction
that it his religious dutv to do so deliberately and 8ystematlcally.���Francis
Gal ton.
A.R HEY LAND, M. E,
KBL80N,  B.C.
Provincial I .and Surveyor, crown -ffrant*
Obtained, Fifteen years' experiences u*
coal mines of B.C.. Reports furnished oil
eoal   properties.
1 1 ���������
Starkey & Co.
���    NELSON, B.C.
Wholesale; Healers in Produce and
Provisions
That was a hot election over In Saskatchewan last December. The Liberals and tbe Roman Catholic chun-h
joined hands and won what mleht be
called a dlareputable victory. Bribery,
corruption and intimidation were worked overtime In order to elect Walter
Scott. Priests coerced their flooka and
commanded them io vote for -Scott and
his party. Nuns went Into the streets
to canvass for the party, much, no
doubt, against their will. The alliance
between the Liberal party and the heads
of  the  Roman  Catliollc  church  must
FUR   VIEWS   OF   BRITISH   COLUMBIA
SCENERY   SEE
Wadds Bros.
NKIHON.  B.C.
F. F LIEBSCHER
MERCHANT TAILOR
SltVERTON,   B.C.
F. H. HAWKINS
ASSAYER
aANIX>N, B.C.
J. ��. AFDEFgON
Civil    ei>'KliH��-r   nmi   f'ntvluc.i��,i   l^nd
��� ���        Surveyor
TRAIL B.C. LOWERY'S CLAIM
Different Opinions.
Dr. Torrey, a loud-mouthed evangelist, who makes a fat living developing
(emotional religious Insanity, say a of
the Bible:
"The teachings of the Bible were
immeasurably superior to all other
teachings or ayatema of ethics. If
every other book were destroyed and
the Bible only were left, there would
not be lost one alngle known truth of
moral or religious teaching. Moreover,
it had proved omnipotent against aU
the attacks made upon It. No other
t>ok had the power of lifting men anel
women to such sublime heights of
character aa the Bible."
George Clark, who committed suicide
in Detroit not long ago. left a letter
stating: "My life haa been a complete
failure, and 1 lay It all to the Bible.
I have read It through a great many
times, and have tried to live up to it's
teachings, and If I had never seen the
Bible 1 would be a healthy, prosperous
man today. The Bible Is the biggest
humbug book ever written. If you do
Hot atop reading the Bible you wili fail
la your plans."
The Truthaeeker aays that the Bible
opens  two  roads  to  the  student.   "He
���may follow Its economic teaching and
*go to the poorhouse. or Its moral pre-
vepts  and   land   In   the   penitentiary."
Thus   wc  see  that   reading  thc   Bible
produces   d,ff- rent    effects,   tarnishing
many with a means of getting a living
and  driving others  to  death  and  Insanity.   The Bible should be read with
care, picking out the grain, and throwing away lhe chaff.    It ia the greatest
literary  patchwork that  we have. ��ne:
one of the richest mines of Kngllah lit
erature.   It baa lieen on the market for
hundreds of years and many a man ha
saved  his life by  wearing It  over  hi
heart  In  time of liattle.    U   is sacree
to millions, much tbe same as the cos
Is to millions in India.   The lc*; people
know aliout it thc more Ihey will fish'
i ���   ii. while to follow all its teachings
will  nm you against  paresis.    It  has
C'used more trouble, lhan anything else
en  the  Christian   earth,  and  by   Itself
cannot prove anything.   It Ls the wo k
e>f severs'  hundred wtiters at different
stages In the world's history, and man-
ot lhe passages have been chanced so
Often that they no more resemble the
original  than a hunk of dough look*
like a load of coal.    Tbe divine origin
story   ta  merely  a  fiction  created  hy
"orasy,  Ignorant  en* designing men.    If
you want to read tbe Word of God look j
at the sun. stars, moon and nature. A
careful and thoughtful perusal of them i
will have a tendency to rub the mossj
off your brain,  and  give your soul a
chance to look out of the window.
15
The next moment his dog appeared
carrying a black object in his mouth!
and  laid   it  carefully  at  his  masters
feet.
The animal had retrieved his own tail
���Exchange.
The Crow's Nest Pass Coal Company
la aomething like uature. it has no
emotion. Men die in its mines and it
fights the widow who seeks a compensation. All is grist that comes to its
mill. It makes money directly or indirectly out of seling whiskey, or
real estate to courtesans with as good
grace ts It sells coke to a smelter. Unlike nature, it sells in the highest market and buys in the lowest, and believes iu the foims of prayer, it had
three parsons praying and invoking
blessings when the corner stone of its
new office wa.s laid in Fernie last summer. Judging irom the curses hurled
at the bogacracy it will take more
than three parsons to keep God quiet.
It should have at least a dozen prayer
Shooters in its employment all the
time.
Edgar Allen  Poe has not been dead
long enough for some of the world to
forget that he occasionally trilled with
the cup that lifts man temporarily into
the  clouds.    He   is  Americas  greatest
literary genius, according to a myriad
of critics ,but the name of J. G. Whit-
1 tier was passed over his in the Hall
! of Fame by the hydraemlc prudes who
I judged  the poet and    not    his    work.
| Judges of this kind lex>k at the bee. not
the honey.   At the singer, not the song.
Their cold pur.tanical hearts are Incapable  of  judging  literary   work  apart
from  the faults of its creator.    If the
world recognised only the work of per
feet men we would have nothing to read
If state and church are not absolutely divorced Canada will yet groan in
agony through the mistakes of its politicians.
We are all tattooed in our cradles
with the beliefs of our tribe; the record
may seem superficial, but it is indelible.
You cannot educate a man wholly out
of the superstitious fears which were
early implanted in his imagination, no
matter how utterly his reason may reject them.���Oliver Wendell Holmes.
Ths McDonald-Simpson
Co, Limited,
Wholesale Commission Net chants
and Manufaciur rs' Agents
Limited Liability
REPRESBNTINej
Tie-   tu-msden   Roller   Mills.
Thc Wapella Roller Mils.
Lever  Brothers  ���"Sunlight  Soap."
Dalton Brothers ���Dish-Towel" Soap,
The   Vogel   Packing  company.
The Baltimore Lime M'f'g Co.
The- Manitoba Canning Co.
The   W.   &   R.   Jacobs   Co.,   Ltd.,
cur  Manufacturers.
The  Guelph   Foundry   Co,   Ltd.
The "Armur" Co.,  Ltd.
The Movie Mill &  Lumber Co.
The Hygiene Gola Wine t!o.
Fruit   and  Produce of all  kinds.
reapondence solieltt d.
Bis-
Cor-
Tbe smaller the coin in ctrcluation
the smaller grow the souls of the people. A blue stack camp in the west
s far aheah of a town in the cent belt
where a dollar buys a hundred whites.
.If the poor were suddenly to get wisr
millionaires would soon bc sawing tlieir
own  wood.
Mr Rockefeller claims he received his
colossal wealth as a gift from God. 1
would like to examine the witnesses to
that  transact ion .-Eugene \.  -����'��
Faithful Fldo.
A gentleman once iiosseased a valu-
egle sporting dog which was extremely
clever ln the retrieving of game. The
owner, however, waa a remarkably t*ad
���hot. and one day, on firing both barrels
hastily at a rabbit, he heard a motysntul
bowl.
e
e
e
e
e
e
s
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e
a
e
���
e
s
e
e
e
e
e
s
e
e
co
OS
A
Piter & Leiser
Victoria, *3olo Agent*.
Minim's Old Highland
and Whiteley's Llouef
Whiskies are the best.
Ciias. Burt
Ageit, Nol<**n.
H
H
2
a
C
e
e
e
���
e
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P.O.Box363, Calgary,Al-**.
P. BURNS <te CO.
IME-A/T
led! birch:-^ N TS
Shops   in   all   leading  town*.    Contracts
solicited   to  supply, armies   and   railroads.
HEAD OFFICE
Calgary; Albarta.
THE HOTEL SLOCAN
THREE FORKS, B.C\
Is the leading hotel of the city.   Meuin-
taln trout and k one dinners a specialty.
Rooms  reserved  by  telegraph.
high N1VEN. Proprietor
���KOOTENAY SALOON
SANDON.   B.C.
His a  line of nerve bracers unsurpassed
In any mountain town of the great west
A  glass of aqua  pura  given    free    with
every shot  of spirits menu.
the fernie Ledger
FBRNIB.   B.   C
Ta the best news-paper in the Chow's Nest
Ass  cos    region     Two dollars    a    year,
Kiss  coil     i     M0TT   Edltor.
; 16
LOWERY'S CLAIM
Our Pinions.
We rise by the things that are under
our feet,
By what we have mastered of good
and gain
By the pride disposed and the passion
slain,
And th evanquished ills that we hourly
meet ���J.   O.   Holland.
NOBLESSE  OBLIGE.
I hold it the duty of one who is gifted,
And specially dowered in all men's
sight.
To know no rest till his life is lifted
Fully up to his greet gifts' height
���Ella Wheeler Wilcox.
excite our interest in so far as we be- heat of our local fights we forget that
lieve them to be conducive to that millions of people have never heard
great and ultimate consummation of ev-, of Nelson. Let us get busy and tell the
istence���Happiness.���J. G. Chatterji.
Nelson  needs a  Booster Club.    We
have the goods around here but in the
HOTELS OUT WEST
Kootenay Hailway & Navigation Co.! 'i he Kaslo Hotel ir, "kJTVT.
LIMITED
OPERATING
In the c-Ky.
Wetbt; alah's Graft,
Urbane Stranger���Mr. Methuselah, I
understand that this is your 899th girth-
day. I will make it worth your while
if you will attribute your ripe old age
to Mac-Huffy's whiskey.���Puck.
The world order is the -basis of ethics.���Dr. Paul Carus.
Prove all things;   bold fast to that
which is good.���St Paul.
If you want a newspaper started in
Jyour town* send particulars to Box
1090, Nelson, B. C.
Kaslo & Slocan Hallway Co.
International   Nav.   -&   Trading   Co.,   Ltd.
Int. Navigation ct Trading Co.
KASIit>-NELSON   ROUTE
7:00 a.m.   iv Kaslo Ar.  9:36 p.m.
8:00 a.m Ainsworth  8:15 a.m.
M0 a.m. Ar Nelson Lv. 6:46 p.m.
���Calling regularly at Ainsworth and PI*
lot Bay and all  way  landings on signal.
Kaslo ct Sloeao Hail*ay
8:00 a.m leave   ...Kaslo   arrive 3:45 p.m.
10:36 p.m. arrive  ..Sandon...  leave l:9Ua.m.
COCKLE & PAPWOKTH.
Thfi Filhl*.!* ,n   Sa���'���.   B.   C,   Is   a
AMU X IJUCI t pleasant   Home    for    all
BENNETT   &   HRUDEK.
travelers.
McLeod Hotel ^r-,&&���-? ��
tei in the city.   Sample rooms.
FIN LAY   McLEOi).
Tha Pirtlott iH the ���*** fI a da*
Alio 0%\ 11 Gil hotel  in  Nelson.    Only
white   help   employed.
GEO.    W.    UARTLETT.
Trcmont House ^ITZ ,'���!-. S���S
lean und European plan. Nothing yellow
about the limine except the gold in the
safe. MA I.e ink   &   TltboM.1.8.
Newmarket Hotel &- ,h.e,
home
all    tour-
There is probably more medical than
religious superstitition in America,
which is saying a great deal.
Ocean steamship  tickets and  rates  via   ,8t��  and   millionaires   visiting   New   Oen-
alMine-s will  be furnished on application, j ver,  B. C. HENRY  STEUK.
Oe    n*��A   IS    the      leading    hotel    m
Obi   tilmO    TRAIL   II.  C.
JAS.   DAWSON.   Prop.
Por further particulars call  on  or address
P.   H.   WALSH. H.   E.   DOCOLAS.
Supt..  Kaslo.  B. C.   Aft.,   Kaslo.  U. C.
A mau with a thousand dollars could
make more stir in Ainsworth than he
could with a million ia New York.
Work and character ls what counts
in this world and the next���F. B. Dyer,
Superintendent  of Schools, Cincinnati.
Newsagents and newsboys are wanted in all unrepresented districts to sell
LOWERY'S CLAIM. Write for partic-
ulare.
***--*MM*��^^*.-aJWM^**.V-*^-��^**a^>*V**/VVVV%
Twelve back numoers of LOWERY'S
CLAIM, aud a copy of Float are sent
postpaid to any address upon receipt of
one dollar.
The Strathcona
Hotel
A blue touch here means that this
is a sample copy, and that your are
requested to send a dollar for a year's
subscription.
The devil probably believes the right
is all on his side, and thst he has a
hard time fighting the wicked Lord.���
Atchison Globe.
If you have some friends whom you
thluk would like to see a sample of
this journal, send us their names and
we will do the rest.
"Be diligent and ye will sit before
kings," says the Bible. Around these
parts most of men would ratheT not,
unless they have a monopoly of the aces.
0mWtSm***fHm**M*StSfjm
The ultimate value of all effort is
the production of happiness, and objects
Is situated on a alight eminence, just a block from tine buay
scenes on Baker Street, and is within easy touch of everything in the city.   From Its balconies can be seen nearly
' fbs all the grand scenery that surrounds the beautiful
city of Nelson.   Few hotels In the great west
���equal the Strathcona, and tourists from
every land will find within Its portals
all the essentials that create pleasant memories within the
mind of those who
travel
B. TOMKINS, Manager,
NEI^ON, R1TISH COLUMBIA
^^^W

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