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Lowery's Claim 1901-07-01

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 i-Y,   >..-,.,.
I   '���
��� *
.owkrv's Claim is published every
>u��lf at Xew Denver, B, C, Canada. It
������voted to Truth and Humor. It has
���press or trust list, but is sent tree to all
persons over lfx�� wars ot age. It is a
Shaiu Crusher, nnd will fight .ill frauds
��o a it il finale. It eosts $i a year in any
. it of thia world, but lack of mail fecii-
iitch prevents it l>eing mailed to Mars,
��.*Hde- and otliei out-of-theXvay places.
VI agents can make 25 cei1#�� upon each
subscription obtained. Advertising rates
arc f: an inch 1 ich insertion, and i# cut
i* tnadc for time or position. It you desire this journal do not depend upon your
Neighbor, but end in your white or green
dollar before the thought grows cold.
fl" same edit' r shoves the pen on this
jburnal and Th New Denver Ledge, so
��|<> not confound your orders when seud-
0 in vour collateral.
New I>env<  , B. C, Canada.
4~ -
About the Baby.
IjOWKRy'h Claim, my latest journalistic baby, me1 with a warm re-
'option; although, not beingentirely
a. borne production, I did not show
it   ai   the   Nelson   baby show.     It
has passed wound among the folks
considerable and has caused all
kinds of remarks. Some have admired it and showered blessings
upon its bald head, while some have
pushed it away from them as if its
youthful chirp offended their blase
notions of life.
\ few have been cruel enough to
say that ii is not legitimate, while
hundreds glory in its birth and say
that its coming means the destruction of much that is evil in state*
church and society. It is growing
rapidly and never cries for government pap. although fully aware
that Hol�� Green packs around a
bottle tilled with that kind of Stuff.
One ad has already been thrown
at it, and many more are coming
up. It is oue of the healthiest in-
fonts in lh<' newspapeAtlock of the
west, and expects soon to have a
dress with a picture down the front.
Tt has a cast-iron constitution, and
expects as it comes down the pike
of age to light many a battle with
the foes of truth. If it should fall
and l>e buried beneath the heavy
sod of public opinion its pajwi will
not weep but keep a-going. For
the second time we take it from the
cradle, and allow the world to look
into its rosy and sweet countenance.
If you would have it eome again
and again drop a dollar into its
dimpled hand and the bliss is yours.
The child bas no bull-dog.
Time and place have much to do
with the price of goods. In Scotland a farmer was driving a cow to
market. "How much," said a
passing parson, "will you get for
the beast in the village?"
"Five pun," said Sootty.
"Why, you could get ten pounds
in London for such an animal."
said the faith promoter.
"Yes,"   said   Scott y,   "and if I
ha��l Loch Lomond at the mouth of
Ihell I could  get   saxpence  a glass
I for it,"
The Exeter Evening I'ost says:
"The town council purpose offering
|a prize to the man (orwoman) who
stops the constant decrease of men
in Torquay, Another prize will
go to the person who can discover
a means of keeping down the women."
In one of the Colonies which was
visited by the fleet a ball was given
and a charming young lady was
invited, but by some oversight, not
her mother. The old lady wrote
and ('ailed attention to this, saying
that in England she had moved in
the best of society, and added: "On
one occasion I had the honor to
refuse the wing of a chicken that
had been <;alved by Ii. R. H. the
Prince of Wales." It was this
that gave her away.
To do good heroic treatment is
sometimes necessary. A few doses
of this paper will knock moral
ennui and mental inertia into the
sump of oblivion. Properly digested, the medicine contained in
this journal will bring beauty to
souls deformed by priestcraft and
make morality plump and healthy
that has been stunted by following
the slavish dictates of custom and
Many tenderfeet. both ea-st and
west, have l>een shocked by reading
the first issue of this journal. If
they will take the treatment regularly their minds will soon be freed
from the cobwebs of fear and the
pollywobbles of slavish customs.
At Nelson on Julv 1st there was
a children's wagon in the trades
procession. Some objected to it
upon the grounds that it was not a
home industry. If raising l>abies
is not a home industry, I would
like to know what it is.
Some ladies have said that Low-
I'Ry's Claim was not tit to be read.
Females of ihis kind would be
shocked to sleep in a room with a
man's clothes banging on the wall.
A pencil mark around this paragraph indicates that the editor has
sent you a sample copy, and wishes
you to send a dollar for a year's
This summer, in the torrid cent
belt, many a weary soul must have
sighed, "This is hell/'
mmi^mmimami!^' HUHHBI
ULY, 1901.
W w^A  i ���������III     tom*^**^*.**.*,. ^
..owRrv's CLAIM  is  published  every
\\ Mai New Denver, B. C, Canada.   It
fovvoted to Truth and Humor.     It has
press or trust li-t, but is sent free to all
] tsous over  if>' years ot   age.     It  is a
Shalt) Crusher, and   will   tight  all frauds
to a nl finale      It costs fi a year in any
.   rt ol this world, but lack of mail facii-
;vte���� prevents  it  lieing  mailed to Mars.
..Tide-  and other  ont-of-theZvay places.
VI agents can make  25 cetip upon each
-..,bs< itption obtained.    Advertising rates
are f 2 an inch < .ich insertion, and isp *���*
uTtnade for time or position. If yon desire this journal do not depend upon your
:teig!ilM>r, bul -end in vour white or green
dollar before die thought gn-ws C0J<?-
t'he same editor shoves the pen on this|��
'burmil and Tli' New Denver Ledge, so
jo not confound your orders when send-
hv in vour collateral.
". R. T. I.OW'BKY.
west, and expects soon to have a
dress with a picture down the front.
It has a cast-iron constitution, and
expects as it comes down the pike
of age to light many a battle with
the foes of truth. If it should fall
and be buried beneath the heavy
sod of pubiie opinion its papa will
not weep but keep a-going. For
the Becond time we take it from the
cradle, and allow the world to look
into its rosy and sweet countenance.
If you would have   it   eome  again
and again   drop  a   dollar  into  its
lixnpled hand and the bliss is yours.
New Denve , B. C, Canada.
About thc Baby.
IvOWKRY s CLAIM, my latest journalistic baby, met with a warm re-
'option;although, not beingentirely
a home production, I did not show
it al the Nelson baby show. It
has passed around among the folks
considerable   and   has  caused   all
The child has no bull-dog.
Time and place have much to do
with tbe price of goods. In Scotland a farmer was driving a cow to
market. "How much," said a
passing parson, "will you get for
the beast in the village?"
"Five pun," said Scotty.
"Why, you could get ten pounds
in London for such an animal."
said tbe faith promoter.
"Ves,"   said   Scotty,   "and if I
kinds of remarks.    Some have ad-jhad Loch Lomond at the mouth of
llliml   it   and   showered   blessings hell I could  get   saxpence  a  glass
for it."
upon its bald head,while some have
pushed it away from them as if its
youthful chirp offended their blase
notious of lib*.
\ few have been cruel enough to
gay that ii is md. legitimate, while
hundreds glory iu its birth and say
that its coining means the destruction of much lhat is evil in state-
chuiTh and society. It is growing
ranidlv and never cries for government ' pap although fully aware visited by the Beet a ball was given
that Bob Green packs around a and a charming young la<ly was
Udtle tilled with that, kind of Stuff,  invited, but by some oversight, not
The Exeter Fvening Post says:
"The town council purpose offering
a prize to the man (or woman) who
Btope the constant decrease of men
in Torquay. Another prize will
go to the person who can discover
a means of keeping down the women."
ln one of the Colonies which was
one ad has already been thrown
at it, and many more are coming
up. It in one of the healthiest infants in lhe newspapejtlock of the
her mother. The old lady wrote
and called attention to this, saying
that in England .she had moved in
the best of society, and added: "On
one occasion I had the honor to
refuse the wing of a chicken that
had l>een calved by H. R. H. the
Prince of Wales." It was this
that gave her away.
To do good heroic treatment is
sometimes necessary. A few doses
of this paper will knock moral
ennui and mental inertia into the
sump of oblivion. Properly digested, the medicine contained in
this journal will bring beauty to
souls deformed by priestcraft and
make morality plump and healthy
that has been stunted by following
the slavish dictates of custom and
Many tonderfeet. both east and
west, have l>een shocked by reading
the first issue of this journal. If
they will take the treatment regularly their minds will soou be freed
fiom the cobwebs of fear and  the
pollywobbles of slavish customs.
At Nelson on Julv 1st there was
a children's wagon in the trades
procession. Some objected to it
upon the grounds that it was not a
home industry. If raising babies
is not a home industry, I would
like to know what it is.
Some ladies have said that Low-
kkv's Claim was not tit to be read.
Females of this kind would l>e
shocked to sleep in a room with a
man's clothes hanging on the wall.
A pencil mark around this paragraph indicates that the editor has
sent you a sample copy, and wishes
you to send a dollar for a year's
This summer, in the torrid cent
belt, many a weary soul must have
sighed, "This is hell."
kf"   "\
'���*.*>. ,
���-I. 18
HaRdiRHaRd Talks
with tb. Edito... ��^����*S^>K ��*; %����
Life and cards resemble each
other. Many of us are clinked to
death by playing heart solos we
cannot wiu. Sometimes we only
have a deuce in the hole where we
thought an ace reposed. A hand
of diamonds  with a king at the
Hearts and diamonds rule this life,
but clubs and spades are in at the
death. The spade, is black, but it
always turns up when the player
can no longer draw cards and
shovels him into that kitty, called
thc grave, from which   there is no
head is often mingled in the debris appeal, and from whicb no man
through a collision with clubs has ever returned to tell how cards
topped by a bullet.    Many  of  us j are dealt in the next world.    Some
want the sweet music of a solo best
when the croak of a frog would suit
our stack much better. Twenty-
one is the age at which all expect
to win, although many are i4busted" at sixteen. There is many a
slip between the   * 'split"   and  the
reports say the game is a hot one,
while others say that the luink in
Paradise haa gold Btacked tip on the
[Jolt, ion.
my forgiveness. Take it all in all
it was the wettest storm this camp
has had for many moons, and has
made soft water a drug in the Market
To KM a Woman's Liove
This recipe has been used in
thousands of eases with uniform
success. May be administered ai
any stage of wedlock, not eveVTho"
honeymoon attachment being proof
against this treatment:
However affectionate vou mav U��
in private, snid) her in public.
This will cause her in feel that you
have no real respect lor her.
Tell he! frequent!) that she jfc
very homely, and if you add thw.
you love her   in   spite  of   her  fin-
beauteous face, it will cause lier to
writhe   at   the   condescension
A New Denver Storm.
The elements were all on a toot
check rack. It is not always warm the other day. As the day grew
when the liall rolls on  the  green, fold the storm became more violent.  evlnr<'<''
It is zero if you are not on it. If j It seemed to favor this office with Make objections to any society
you arc it is zero for the other fel- steady attention. The sign blew or recreation of which she is fond,
low. Many of us have to beg when j clown like a feather from a Hying Cut her off as far as possible from
(dubs turn up. The falling of a goose. The wind howled like aIthe pursuits and pleasures of her
queen is often hailed with  delight,  jagified demon, and   the  rain   was single lib*.
although three of them will turn copious enough to indicate an at- Watch her jealously; if she eon-
pale   when   confronted    by     four  tack of diabetes iu the heavens.     I   verses politely with any other male
thought of Galveston. Then I creature assure her of the vilest in-
battened down the batches, tied Itentions. This will create in her a
who waits generally gets every-1 myself to the big press and allowed strong desire to commit bigamy or
thing, even cold feet. He who bets | resignation to spread itself over my some other crime,
all on a single card often sleeps j benign or ten countenance. After Sec that she has enough to do.
where ozone is more plentiful than j that I rested easier. The lurid and always insist on the observance
carbon, while he who spreads his | Hashes of nature's electric light of your marital rights when she is
bets frequently swallows the bank I plant reveal ea ever and anon the I utterly tired in body arnl spirit
and becomes a plutocrat. He who solemnity of the occasion. The [f she is ill or tired and says so,
has   never   toyed   with   the  cards rain descended  in   long  sheets  of tell her she is always complaining,
active moisture, and   I   knew   that,and immediately proceed to give a
somewhere rain makers were work-1 general summary of your own  ill
ing overtime.    The olliee sprang a  symptoms.
plebian   deuces.    The
always   for the swift.
pot  is  not
The  man
saves himself endless misery, but
lacks an experience that pares the
top off of human nature,   and   lays
bare the ���jpiivering passions that leak abaft the firstsmokestack, and      Uet vour conversation be flavored
shake the human soul in its desire
for gold, without labor. Hy standing pat the world does not know, if
there is no show-down, whether
you hold the bobtail straight of
j>overty or the royal flush of wealth.
Many a battle is won by courage,
ancl many a poor hand is hoisted
into fame through nerve. The
deuce gotten honestly is more pure
than the ace raised on a hold-out.
I thought of Noah, but  it   did   me  with  a   wholesale   distrust   of  the
no good, as nothing in the building Isex.    Assert frequently 'hat  there
i i
would pair, not even   inv   hosiery,   is not a virtuous woman in the par-
The storm increased  in  virulence, ticular town where you happen to
and the roar on my tin-slated  bur-(dwell.     You may make an   exeep-
V *>
ricane deck was like Niagara.   Tlie tion of her in your own mind,   but
bulldog howled as though praying
in Gaelic, while the mice, which
have been stealing my paper all
summer, came out of their holes
and with tears iu their eyes begged
she will not guess it.
Never offer her a kiss or a caress
unless it is designed to bad up to
the conjugal act.
If she is disinclined to submit to
< d
I, JULT, 1901.1
your embraces accuse her of "someone else"
Though her conduct be discretion
itself, tell her she is a mark for all
the male gossips of the street.
Discredit any love that is not
purely sexual in its character. Tell
her love dies with passion.
And lastly, remind her frequently
of the fondness she displayed in
your courtship, and insinuate that
her heart must Im�� astray   because
she rinds it impossible to live in the
same house with you and retain
her illusions. This will cause* her
to hate men in general ami yourself
iu particular.
Carefully followed, these direct
tions are guaranteed to lead to the
Divorce Court in six months. Irregularly applied, a longer j>eriod
may lx�� required to produce the desired effect.
The Oath JVTummeny.
"There is one special bit of
mummery," says a writer in the
Philistine for June," which should.
might have been well enough to
call on God to witness us sneak our
stuff through the customs house.
Not many people now, though,
really lwlieve that God takes any
special interest in the tariff, or for
that matter, the marriage of a man
to his deceased wife's sister.
"Let us tell the truth, not only
in law courts but elsewhere���tell
the truth because the truth is always better than falsehood. A lie
is a poor scheme. I know a man
who has tried both plans. Truth,
like all righteousness, is only a
form of common sense.
"It is well, doubtless, to have
notaries, who will record affirmations at proper times, but in the
name of all sacred things let us not
longer stultify our intelligence by
allowing a fat buffoon to Hash on
us a printed book in a dirty cover
in the name of God. Ood is no
literary personage, and so far as I
know, cares no more for liooks and
authors than He does for bricks
and hod-carriers. And as for lawmakers, go down  to  Albany and
out of respect to  sacred   things, be Hev jf you (.au fim] Divinity shining
abolished. ' 1 rider to the oath as
administered in our law courts.
This Hip]>ai.t. hypocritical playing
battledore with the name of Dicty
cannot but excite every honest man
to knock hard and call time. Just
imagine' a notary public, with a
large cud of tobacco in his cheek,
asking you to hold up your right
hand while he refers  to  the   Holy
from the faces of the  men we elect
to the legislature.
"To cuss is often a relief for
pent-up emotion, but to swear is
absurd.    Swear not at al 1."
Blaekie's Lritany.
London    reports    that    Stodart
poets  and   from   the   unreasoned
giggle of silly young ladies,
Good Lord, deliver me !
From the barren subtlety of lawyers, from the slippery shiftiness of
politicians, and from the blind restlessness and calculated selfishness
of commercial speculators,
Good Lord, deliver me !
From a man that simpers sweetly, front a woman that laughs
loudly, and from a young woman
ambitious to play the young man,
Good Lord, deliver me!
From a scholar who smells of
books, from a sportsman who smells
of horses, and a mother who smells
of babies,
Good Lord, deliver me !
From genius without sense, from
talent without love,and from creeds
without humanity,
(Hood Lord, deliver me !
From a spinner of fine phrases, a
spinner of senseless rhymes, and a
woman who paints,
Good Lord, deliver me !
From the three infallibles, the
Roman Pope, the editor of a party
newspaper and a woman when she
is in the wrong.
Good Lord, deliver me !"
The Severed Bond.
On the terrace, under the winking stai*s, they lay, Ernest and my
poor Felicite, close clasped in each
Walker,   a  nephew,   has   selected j others arms.    As we raised her up,
and  transcribed   the   manuscript, j the blood  from   her  heart  poured
Evangel, and ends with 'swelp you ''The Day Book of John Stuart over his,    A thin stiletto pierced
God twenty-live cents
Hlackie."    The book starts off with  each breast���the Weapons hung to-
"To any man of genuine religious a characteristic litany, from  which ; get her;   I drew the blade from   his
feeling the oath is  a  loathing and are   taken   the   following   typical
offense; ami to the man   who  does clauses:
not intend to tell the truth it is "From the presumption of ortho-
nothing but words, words, words. \ dox theology, from the degrading
Then the kissing of a beautiful lwc-| superstition that worships God with
teria besmirched book is just a trifle; blind ends and the negative sense,
more nauseating than the oath. All j Good Lord deliver me !
this vile and villianous clap-trap From beggars for my clients,from
once had a meaning and purpose: fools for my worshippers, and from
when the idea was abroad in the sluts for my servants,
minds of most people   that laws      Good Lord, deliver me!
were made by God, or at  least by
From the impertinence cd' youth-
men directly  inspired  by  God, it | ful critics, from the vanity of small
heart���to the hilt of each stiletto
was tied a wedding ring and the
blade of the other one passed
through the hoop.
Only so it was uGod joined1'
these two together. These two
that feared their freedom, yet could
not bear their bonds.-^Bolton Hall.
To serve your country well in its
legislative halls requires a mind
that is proof against political prostitution.
'Ohm *
July, 1901.
Grandma Warns (dis
Dear Thornton,���Seein' the announcement of the second numl)er
of that sinful paper, Lowery's
Claim, I feel called upon, in the
name of the virtuous people of this
district, to remonstrate with you.
You're agoin' to lose your good
reputation. Thornton, if you keep
on a-publishin' that paper, an' I
should hate to see yon try in' to git
along with a bad one like John
Houston's got.
You see, its like this: May lie I
aint as astute as some people, but
really when I read the first number of that paper I didn't realize
there was anything wrong aliout it.
I jest thought it related a hull lot
of truth that ain't generally talked
about in polite society,an' I thought
maybe it would be a good thing fer
the world if they was talked about
more; but when I went round
among the people an' found out
how it was regarded I fcdt dreatfully
ashamed of myself. It put me inl
mind of one time when I went to aj
open air theatre. Right in front!
of me sot a man who was known
by every body to lie a rotten hearted
rake. His relations with the wo-!
man who kept house for him was
the talk of the town an' he couldn't
keep a hired girl unless she was
one that was headed for the tender-
line. With this old rascal was a
youug woman an' her elderly husband. She was credited with bavin' half a dozen more favored lovers
than the man she had married, but
they hed money an' they moved in
what was called good society. Right
in the middle of the play the three
of 'em got up an' stocked out. I
didn't blame 'em much fer I thought
it was pretty tiresome myself, but,
do you know, I sot right thru that
entire play an' never knew it was
a immoral one till the next day
when the manager, knowin' I was
middle-aged an' respectable an'
bavin' some sense, came to me in
performance. He said them people
hed left because they thought it
was too improper fer decent people
wives because its cheaper an' less
dangerous than patronizin' the women who sell tlieir attraction fer
money. They aint learned that
great distress to ask me if I thought nothiir on earth or in heaven can
there was anything wrong with the sanctify a union lietween a man an'
woman but a mutual an' abidin'
love, an' I don' know as vour
called upon to try to teach 'em at
to countenance. I was never so j the cost of losin'your good name,
mortified in my life. To think of! People are jest scared to death of
its shockin" a man an' woman like yon because you sometimes seem
that while Dannel an' I sot there to advocate free love, as if anything
an' never blushed a mite. Hut you could lie love an' not be free, as if
see they were in a position to know any power in the universe could
what was immoral an' we wasn't, bind love. They 're afraid of your
An' that's the way it is with your free thought, too, but the world will
paper, Thornton. The |ieople w ho never lie redeemed from its curse
know aliout these things say its j until the last shacked is struck from
vulgar an' indecent an' immoral an' man's thought an' it is let to soar
everything else that's nasty. I don't to the height* where purity an'
know as I ought to say that either, peace walk hand in hand with the
fer some of the jieople who make God whom that One who knew him
these complaints are ministers of best named Love,
the gospel. But, dear me. Thorn- People are bound to read the
ton, ministers of the gospel seem V\.aim, Thornton. The very ones
to think that as long as the sores who make the biggest fuss about
on society can lie kept covered up its vulgarity will read it first to
that Ood an' the general public will gratify their purient curiosity about
thiuk there aint any on it. the things they think arc shameful.
There haint a doubt in my mind An' the constantly inereasin' nuni-
but what that paper'll make money ber of men an* women who believe
for you, Thornton, but I'm agreed in reinovin' the secrecy an' the
with Solomon in thinkiif a good mystery from all the processes of
name is ruther to be chosen than Nature so they may be no more re-
great riches. I don't agree with garded as shameful but clean ami
all Solomon said an' did, but in honorable, will hail it as a needed
that pint he an' I are one. People educator of the |ieople: but I warn
are a-talking about you dreatfully. you. Thornton, you can't publish a
One woman says its you an' men paper like that an' not git yourself
like you that makes the lives of talked about,
women   unbearable.      I   told   her GRANDMA GtJMFTION.
that if  you  hed  your  way  you'd =s=5
make every woman  a queen   with  Creed 51aVeS.
alisolute power over her own body,       Eastern Canada is full   of  creed
but     she     couldn't      understand,   slaves who look   upon   priests  and
There's a whole lot of women who parsons as superior persons whom
enjoy  bein'   slaves.    They're  like they are ImiuucI to support and taste
the negroes down south; they don' elation by so doing.    Through  fol-
know what to do   with   their  free- lowing   custom and keeping  their
dom after they've got it, an'   their children's minds in   mental  dark-
as mad as a hatter at anyliody who ness   generation   after   generation
strikes a blow at one of the  chains they   waste   time  and   money  on
as  bind   'em   iu   sexual   slavery. ! churches that should  be  used  for
They're perfectly willin' an'  eager
to be married by  men  who take
food and  education.    These  same
people are so blinded by  the  hyp- July, 1901.1
notic light of the pulpit that it is
difficult to get close enough to give
them a shove in the right direction.
In attempting it any fearless individual is liable to be drowned in a
sea of bigotry or be poisoned by the
hatred that permeates the air when
a creed factory has a hole torn in it
by the word of truth. The truth
is not acceptable to theological pro-
motel's, although I am so well
stocked with it, that like Andy
Oarnegie and his money. I cannot
help giving it away.
Ixiok at the Lord's Dav Alliance
in the east: how it strives to make
the lives of the people miserable.
No sensible person objects to a day
of rest, but uo man with a spark of
reason or freedom of spirit in his
mental make-up wants a lot of
Puritan cranks to tell him bow he
shall spend it. The people of a,
country must indeed be slaves when
they will allow a lot of psalm singing geysers to hold the top hand
and have people lined for selling
soda water on Sunday, playing ball
or any other innocent and health-
giving amusements. The Lord's1
Day Alliance cranks prate about
preserving the Sabb.'.b from the
inroads of commercial life. This
is all moonshine. They want the
people to l>e slaves for six days to I
their taskmasters and on Sunday
serve the church. It is easy for
parsons to observe the Sabbath for
they have six days to go fishing or
play ball. After six long days of
toil (often for low wages) in order
that parsons and other drones can
wear fine linen and dictate how
other people shall live, the working
man should not be expected to
thank any god for the blessings that
are his. but should be allowed to
enjoy his day of well-earned rest in
a manner befitting his tastes. For
any band of bigots to force their
way of observing any day upon tbe
people is the height of impudence,
and those who would stand it area
lot of unanointed chumps, tit only
to have a ring in their nose and be
led around by any guy in a white
If the Lord's Day Alliance (and
if there is a Lord, surely every day
is His'n) wish to help the masses
why not strive to have the hours of
daily lalior reduced, and wages
raised, instead of standing in with
the rich, ancl putting a yoke on the
poor man every Sunday. Christians like to work their help to a
long finish for low wages during
the week and on Sunday make
them thank their Jesus that they
are alive. OJ ye slaves of toil,give
your bodies to your boss, and your
soul to the parson. Both will extract as much as jossible out of the
combination, and if there is anything left you will probably find it
on the trail when you hit the pike
for that land which parsons rave
so much aliout. but know nothing
of, except that it is a good graft to
work upon those who have fears
that the Power liehind this world
will overlook them unless they pay
a broker to get them past St. Peter.
If the masses studied nature and
learned the true way to live1 they
would shut hell out of the game,
and make of this earth a heaven.
Then the sky pilot with his con
talk about the past and present,
and his fairy varus about the fall
of man and other yellow journalism, would be out of date and the
millions invested in mummery
buildings would lie put to some
useful purpose. The church has
had the deal for hundreds of years
and the world is still sunk in lust,
crime and debauchery, while mil-
lions are ragged and short on breakfasts. Verily, it taketh the slaves
of religion a long time to shed their
moss and climb to that point where
the mind has no fear and all is joy
and the soul ever at repose.
There is trouble in high life over
in Europe. King Edward will not
confer the Order of the Garter upon
King William of Wurteuiberg, and
both monarchs are saying sharp
things about each other. It is not
the first row that the world has
seen over a garter,  in or out of
order, and I trust that the dear
Kings will soon arrive at an amicable settlement of this highly important affair.
Strange are the ways of some
people. Many merchants of Nelson who are church members sell
the harlots of the town all the goods
they want without any comment,
but when a contractor started to
build a house for one of the demi-
monde he had to become divorced
from the church before he could
finish the job. Verily, some gag
at a mosquito and swallow a train
load of circus horses.
The lower animals set a good
example to the higher animals of
this universe. They never lose
any sleep looking for red light, nor
spend any time pushing beans ac-
cross a green cloth, nor drinking
brown taste producers. Great is
the lower animal, even if he or she
does not wear pants or a corset.
Beware of the man who prays
long and loud so that you can hear
him all over a telephone house.
For it is such as he who often steal
your wad when no man looketh,
and the jolice are asleep.
A church that forbids its priests
to marry and then allows women
to confess their inmost thoughts to
them must indeed have a confidence
that is childlike in the chastity of
man, especially when such men are
generally fat and healthy.
A man in the States recently
sued for a divorce because his wife
had not informed him before marriage that she had a wooden leg.
Their courtship must have been
cold and formal and utterly devoid
of feeling.
Trusts are a bad thing when all
the people are not in them. To
allow a few men to plunder the
many is a state of affairs that free
people should never allow. aa
July, 1901.
Be Good Knockers
Wm. w. Reedy, in The Philistine. N& \& ^ ^ ^ ^
One must knock the Evil every
time it puts up its head. One must
not lie kind to thc Wrong that
flourishes to the detriment of Good.
Kindness may be overdone. One
of the great faults of the preachers
of Christianity is, that they do not
knock hard enough against the sin
that is respectable, or rather, fashionable. The knocker has his value
when he is an artist. Christ
knocked on paganism and heart -
lessness. Luther knocked on privilege and   proprietorship of  salva
tion.     Cromwell,   Hampden,   and a fellow has in  achieving things in
their  fed lows  knocked  on   Divine
Right,   as    did     Marat.    Danton,
Koliespierre.   Voltaire was knocker joy would lie gone from effort! Tin
vantes were knockers in their time
ancl so were Jonathan Swift and
the Corn Law agitators from Fergus O'Connor up and down. Never
a genius that has helped the world
along but has done so by doing
some vigorous preliminary knocking. Whoso would disparage the
knocker sets himself against progress.
To be sure there is a knocking
that is wholly bad���the knocking
of malice and of envy. And yet
were it not for the high,   fierce joy
Spite*of  the  detractor,   the  backbiter, the knocker,   how   much   of
as well as mocker. Ditto Jean
Jacques Rousseau. Washington,
Adams, Jefferson, Franklin. Paine,
Patrick Henry, wore masters of the
noble art of knocking Sham from
its throne.
So, too, Oarrison. Lovejoy. Wendell Phillips, Abraham Lincoln.
were knockers against the enormous crime of slavery. Grant we
had as knocker, too.    Then there
was Cleveland with his persistent
knocking of the "communism of
jielf,"    and    there     is   Roosevelt
essence of the exultation of victory,
after the achievement itself, is
showing the fellow who told you
you could not do and hoped in his
heart you would not Ih* able to do
it. The knocker is necessary to
prod us on. If everybody told us
we wore all the mustard, we'd soon
liegin to lndieve it and sit down and
do nothing. It's the fellow who
knocks you hardest who's your best
friend. In a broad sense conspiracy never yet succeeded of itself.
The   man  who   fails   must lie   the
knocking with all  his picturesque conspirator against  himself.    The
might against thi* sin of materialistic sloth. Even Carrie Nation is
a knocker from the edd house, but
her knocking has become more
dangerous than the farcial laws
against which her hatched is wielded. Oh the great and glorious
knockei-s the world remembers]
Shakespeare knocked the unities
galley west and crooked. Dickens
knocked out the idea that fiction
might deal only with lords and
ladies. Shelley and Wordsworth
and Browning, and in our own
country, Poe. were knockers against
the petrifying effect of formalism in
poetry, just as later Verlaine did
the same thing.    Rabelais and Oer-
baekbiter really does little harm, or
the slanderer either. They are not
what hurts in their work. The
thing that hurts is the truth, ancl if
a knocker tells things alont you
that are true then you should proceed to correct the fault, lie is
vour friend in fact,  if your enemy
.' af ��
in intent. fhe slanderer is not a
pleasant lieing at all, but neither is
the snake, the ant or the worm, yet
they all fulfill some valuable pur-
pose in the scheme of things. Criticism is knocking, yet but for criticism we should have no advancement.
A man must knock   if life would
be opened unto him.    A man must
knock if he would waken the sleepers that they may learn the Truth
that sets them free. A man must
take knocks that he may be in
mental, physical and spiritual
training for the work he is to do.
The knocker, at his best, is the
man who sends the world along.
The knocker, at his worst, is the
fellow who keeps the knocker for
Truth up to his best. Let the
world knock then iu the same old
way. Let not the knocker knock
the knocker in his pride of heart
that only he knocks righteously.
Let each man knock away, and if
he doesn't knock the right thing in
the right way we may l>e sure that
the thing knocked will come back
at him some day and knock him
out. Be kind���Ih1 bio wed! It is
sin to l>c kind to sin. And as for
sinners, why, if we knock not them
once in a while we only help them
to a final knock from their own
misdeeds unto defeat and despair
ami darkness. Therefore let the
knocking proceed, "and damned be
he who first cries, 'Hold.enough!"
Via tout.
City of Brotherly hove
Enceinte women who retain the
name by which their fathers were
known.fall among Phili tines when
endeavoring to increase the population of Philidelphia. In the
length and breadth of the ('ity of
Brotherly love no charitable institution would admit a woman on
the verge of motherhood. She was
finally hauled to a barn and the
accouchment occurred there. The
manger may have been fashionable
in Christ's time, but is quite passe
now. This unfortunate creature,
Edith Mason by name, sought admittance to the Presbyterian Hospital and was not only thrust forth
from the place, but jeered at by
the attendants. The followers of
the truculent ('alvin never neglect
au opportunity to maintain the unclean record of their founder. Such
occurances as the alsive arc helped,
inasmuch   as   they   force  men  to
\ July, nmi.]
pause in their narrow,selfish careers
and Think. The community at
large is cozened out of immense
sums of money each year by those
mental eunuchs, the domines, in
order that these so-called charitable
institutions may continue their
Pharisaical careers. But it is organized charity and the rules of the
^ ft-*
same are as unalterable as the laws
of the Medes and Persians. Wc
wonder what befell one of those
voluptuous llebrewr belles, who
cavorted with the Mosaic horde
through the wilderness, when she
listened to the soft nothings poured
into her willing ear by the prototype of I key Steinfeld, the pair
having dispensed with the ceremony
as prescribed by the rabbi. When
the erisis arrived would she be
kicked from tent to tent and abandoned to her fate on thcoutskirt of
the camp? No! as cruel and bloodthirsty as the ancient Jews were,
if tbe Old Testament Chronicles are
correct, they would have spread a
goat skin on tin' ground in some
seed tided spot and R-achael would
soon be getting the succulent manna
and snaring the coy quails, happy
in the thought that her indiscretion
had not estranged hcr friends.
Even the Digger Indians will turn
over a ton of boulders looking for
fat crickets with whicli to tickle the
jaded appetite of a woman who has
just brought forth another insect
exterminator. The ()rinoco Savage,
the fellow whose title to epicure is
due to the fact that he considers
putrid snakes, dead tliese three
nionth, a feast fit for the gods, will
construct a rude bower in which a
woman may do penance for eating
that pippin in Eden. But as man
rises iu the scale of civilization up,
up until he arrives at the red-vest,
bust-developer and Oscar Wilde
period, he will spend a. month's
salary on an erotic-minded maid
learning her to ride lhe tandem,
and then when a tire is punctured,
he tears for the trolley, and the
damsel does the best she can.reaching home in a slightly  damaged
condition. The spirit of chivalry
is on thc wane. Do these unfortunates expect sympathy and help
from the "respectable" of the sex;
that vast tribe of medio-critics who
are fed, housed and clothed by bullet-headed tradesmen and smirking
professional fakirs, and who hold
these wives in about the same esteem as a bucolic gentleman does a
fat shoat? As well might one hope
to escape unscathed, and take the
cub from the teeth of a wounded
lioness. Those keen students of
human nature, the professional
tramp, never go to the parsonage
foi- a hand-out; he knows it is useless. He is invariably handed a
Becean Leaf and told he may sit
under the Damson plum tree, along
with the chickens, and regale himself with the beautiful story of
David, the Strong Boy and tbe
Captain's wife. It is a foolish
maitien who goes to a Christian
Charitable Institution in her hour
of need, if hers is the sexual sin;
instead of words of love and comfort a. contumelious harangue on
the enormity of her transgression
is her portion. The absurd fable of
the Virgin Mary has so warped the
judgment of these phrenetic mol-
lahs, that the enabling feeling of
pity has been gradually lost to their
gross minds. Several years ago
during a Baptist Convention in Cincinnati the brothels were peached
from cellar to garret with lust-
crazed Web-Feet, and even female
scullions and scrub-women were
pressed into service. Vet these
sexual gluttons stood in the assembly the next day and with serene
brow asked the blessing of their god
on those present. Could one have
torn aside their vestures, the crimson marks of the lecherous kisses
of drunken Messilinas would have
given the world some tangible evidence of their moral rottenness.
Twere better to beseech a dope-
crazed pirate of the China sea, for
mercy, than to expect a Presbyterian Hospital to make a practical
application  of the golden rule.
Dfauiing the Ltine.
A story is told at the expense of
Missouri's once famous governor,
Claiborne F. Jackson. He had
married five sisters. After one
wife had been lost and appropriately mourned he espoused another.
The father of these girls was almost deaf, and when the governor
went to ask for his surviving daughter the following conversation ensued:
"I want Lizzie."
"I want you to let me have Eliz-
"Oh, you want Lizzie, do you?
What for?"
"For my wife."
-For life?"
'41 want���to���marry���her.'
"Well," slowly responded the
veteran, "you needn't halloa so
that the whole neighborhood knows
it. Ves,you can have her. You've
got'em all now, my lad: but for
goodness sake, if anything happens
to that ere poor misguided gal,
don't come and ask me for the old
j woman."
A Big Thing.
General Horace Porter, the V. S.
Ambassador to France, tells a good
I story of a. man he met some  years
ago in Texas.    He got into conversation with this man. and the man
'������ remarked   that he had struck a big
; thing.
"How so?"  asked Gen. Porter.
"I was sent down here.'   replied
the man, "by a religious organization to distribute tracts, and every
i time I give a man a tract in Texas
he invariably hauls out a gun from
one pocket and a bottle of whiskey
| from another, and, handing me the
bottle, he says:   'Say,  drink  some
ft' 9/
I of this, and drink  it   p  d	
q ,  or  my gun will go off.'    I
I have not had to pay for my liquor
in this State since I have been distributing tracts."
I am to see that the world is the
better for me and to find my reward
in the act.���Emerson. 24
Many Rinds of Jags
The world is full of many kinds | till up on it until it slobbers out of
of jags, and people under the in-1 your mouth at every step the evil
fluence act in a manner that is I effects of the jag become apparent,
considered foolish by those without Thousands are addicted to it, and
the same kind of jag. jsome get it so bad that they are in-
ITnder the influence of alcohol' curable. Many become imbued
men will say and do things that;with the hallucination that this
would shock them if sober. In world is all bad, and they will de-
this condition thousands often com- sert a six days' job on the farm for
niit deeds that make torture a con- one in a church, where they saw
stant companion for the balance of the air in a frightful manner, and
their days. The wisest man is hurl the awful words about eternity
often the biggest fool when his out into the ozone in such a reek-
upper stope is flooded with rye or less manner as to indicate the sin-
wine juice, cerity   born   of   the   intoxication
Under the influence of lust many I caused by looking upon the bible
a white lily is crushed by the red when it is read orthodoxieallv. In
rose of passion gone mad. Hatred all the wild outbursts of religious
takes the place of love, aud while intoxication there is one sane ray
the jag lasts the noble traits of of light* shining o'er the chaotic
manhood are lost to view in a mire spectacle. The onlookers have to
of sensuality. hit the kitty   regularly.     Religious
Greed is another jag that afflicts intoxication in the past has Hooded
millions. Its victims have an in- the world with misery. It has
tense desire to swallow everything torn many a heart string, mangled
on earth. Under its influence many a body on the rack, burned
murder is often committed and the many a noble soul at the stake and
bread taken out of the mouths of reddened the green sward with the
the famishing in order that greed- blood of millions who would not
crazed individuals may clutch and taint their souls with the vapor of
gloat over the gold that mocks them  faith  and   bigotry.     Religious   in-
in their feverish delirium.
A jag of jealousy will flag every
toxication does not   barm   the  human race so much today,   strong
noble impulse, and cut the stomach , men, by the use of reason, have
to pieces quicker than slow doses obliterated much of the evil results
of arsenic. of the mania ami in  another  bun-
Envy dries the blood and  makes dred years the civilized world  will
the lives of those addicted  to  it a wonder how we  rattled   the  creed
vast desert of bitter thoughts.
chains so long without   discovering
Fear makes cold chills run foot- the ill effects of filling up on de-
races down the liack. and fills the lusions. The world must move
mind with the sjxioks of terror.    It j forward or backward.    We cannot
is diuretic to the body and damnable to the mentality. A jag of
this kind produces pity and contempt in the spectators ancl makes
the victim a lunch for every grafter,
legal, medical, theological or otherwise.
Religion, like old whiskey, is not
so bad when you only get a taste
of it occasionally.    But when  you bawling long and loud about the
stand still. If we move backward
it means that the church will cinch
us to the last hob* in the strap ami
sprinkle hell everywhere as it has
done in the past. If we move forward it means that priests and parsons will soon be unable to hold
the masses in bondage by mummery,   the   waving  of  hands and
[July, woi.
fall of man and eternal damnation.
A great light is breaking over the
world, ancl as it ascends the intellectual sky the vendors of pious
guff will lay low as do the lints and
owls when the morning sun arises.
When the light of reason has
bundled the last brain priestcraft
will die, and we will live happy
lives devoid of fear but with more
; respect for the grand mystery   that
lies   beyond   our   comprehension.
Make your own heaven, and vou
will find that the home-made article
beats anv of the brands now haw ked
tip and down the land by men.
many of whom could not eat if the
mind of man was entirely free of
A Golden Chance.
Some capitalist ought to wander
into New Denver ami build a
sanitarium and summer hotel.
The climate is superb. It seldom
climbs oyer eighty in the summer and rarely hits zero in the
winter.     The air is bracing and at
times so clear that a whisper ean
Im* heard all over town. Tin' fishing is free, ami the scenery is grand
enough to drive the highly idealistic almost insane. The sunsets
cannot Iw excelled hy Italy, and
when the wind blows all nature
opens it mouth and fills up on
glame. At night when the4 moon
i> on shift the beauty of this lovely
spot appeals to any soul that is not
dead. The magnificent scenery
bathed in a glow of silvery light
will lift you clear out of earthly
mud and make you think that  you
have flown into  Paradise without
touching the cemetery trail. Every
dav of the year the lake kisse* the
shore without ice. Every day the
glacier wears its crown of ice and
snow, and furnishes goat hunters
with a natural cold storage. Death
seldom sneaks into the camp, but
the cry of new babes mingles with
the zephyrs so often as to make the
rock of the cradle almost a part of
the formation. In all the wide
west there is no spot more beautiful -JUIY.IHOI.I
than New Denver.   In the language Why does he not sell booze out of
of the  modern   classic,   "She's a | the side door?   No man in Toronto
peach," and there will come a dayi can expect to sell openly such a
when all the world will take off 5 vile drink as soda water on the
their bats to her. In the mean- beautiful Sabbath and escape the
time some fellow loaded with hard; law. The druggists of the east
silver dollars ought to get in here1 lack education,
lief ore the rush ancl lay the founda- ^
tion for an immense fortune. We What is the difference lietween a
would do it if our hands were not very low-cut dress and an earth-
full with the task of editing two quake? One shows up the whole
papers. Cornea-running, ye men oust, and the other busts up the
of mighty means, and plant your whole show.
long green in the Lucerne*.    It will ZSi
grow and enable you to sit in the ThOUghtS ��f Thinkers.
C9 9V I
shade of prosperity  for many  de-1     What a depth of meaning was in
cades, j the reply of one who was asked
33 I where he would prefer to spend
BrOWn WOFFien. eternity:    "In heaven for the cli-
Japan is such a delightful climate ma^ but in hell for the society."
to live in, and its women are little
angels. The brown ladies have a
different code of morals than Ainer-
In the study of science there is
least wrangling, least tyranny,least
bigotry, no persecution.    It teaches
ican women. They are not prudes! charity, it teaches a well-ordered
and will go in swimming with thej life, it teaches the world to be more
other sex clad only in nature's'kind. It is the great new path of
garb. Tbey are never taught that knowledge into the future.���James
any part of the body is indecent Lane Allen.
and unfit for publication. Chastity j The Mohammedan proves the
of the body does not worry them, divine mission of his apostle by ap-
but fidelity of the mind is one of pealing to the marvelous propaga-
their  virtues.    Tbey   are healthy tion of the faith.    If the argument
and do not swallow tansy and
ergot every month. A healthy
woman must live correctly and the
.laps are healthy. This is probably the reason why they are so
popular with white men. As an
illustration, an Englishman wrote
to a friend in Vancouver to come
over and visit him. The friend
wanted to know if he would bring
his w ife with him. The reply came
back: "Would you bring a ham
sandwich to the Lord Mayor's ban-
"Come    ye
ajiart rest
awhile," was the appropriate text
from which the Cornish parson
preached in opening a new maternity home.
A Toronto druggist was recently
fined for selling soda water on Sunday.    The awful, but foolish man.
is good in the mouth of a Catholic,
is it not good in the mouth of a
Moslem ?���Ingersoll.
The true Christian not only feels
no need of culture, because this is
a worldly principle and opposed to
feeling, he has also no need of
(natural) love. God supplies to
him the want of love, of a wife, of
a family.���Feuerbach.
Tolerance is a most impious system and contrary to the views of
the cdergy. It can only be practiced by those Christians whose
lack of zeal leads them to betray
the interests of the church, by allowing everyone to think in his
own way on certain questions; and
especially on such questions as no
one can understand.���Voltaire.
In olden times, when the heavens
were visited by comets, war, pestilence and famine were predicted.
If wars came, the prediction was
remembered; if nothing happened,
it was forgotten. When eclipses
visited the sun and moon, the barbarian fell upon his knees and accounted for the phenomenon by the
wickedness of his neighbor.���Ingersoll.
Does ' 'the Lord hear the crv of
the needy?" No, a thousand
times no ! Heaven is silent, as it
ever has been, to the cries of Inquisition victims; to the tears and
moans of English Christian children slaving in mines and factories;
to the seamstresses working for 2s.
or 3s. a week; to those robbed by
would-be millionaires. And it always will be silent.���Agnostic
As a physician witnessing scores
of death-bed scenes in this and in
the pagan countries of the Orient,.
I know of no people so afraid to
die and go to wear their golden
crowns as Christians. Their creeds
and beliefs are so conflicting in
connection with their self-confessed
imperfections that, not certain
whether their souls will go up or
down into hades, terror-stricken,
they shrink from the approach of
death.���J. M. Peebles, M.D.
Shop Walker���Mourning? Certainly, sir. What relation to the
deceased ?
Shop Walker���Ah! Mitigated
grief departn ient.   This w ay, please.
Different, Only in Price.
In the midnight streets morosest glare,
She smiles a yes to your wanton stare,
For she has a hody and soul io barter,
A mt her form whieh a Sultan's heart might thrill
I* vours for a greasy Government hill,
A trifle to stick tn her garter.
In yonder ehureli where the organ swells,
They are ringing���not wedding���but market bells
Therein they are wedding a maiden fair
To the lingering line of a doubtful heir;
One offers her wealth, the other ;i charm,
To rise In a riotous ione's arms
'Neath the bloodshot eyes of a Satyr;
There Is litt.e difference betwixt the twain,
For l)oth have bartered their lives for gain,
It's only the price. It's greater.
���Ation, so
[July, 1901.
Sexual  Starvation
E. B. Feet.. H.D. ��S ��*; ��*����������� �� " SWISS SiS"1*
and they are more powerful ancl
reviving than any electrical battery. Vou may laugh at this, but
I, as one who has suffered so much,
and received  such  decided  relief,
Occasionally   we   hear   of   mem
effecting great cures by the ''laying
on of hands," and the  resjonse is
often playfully made, "Pshaw !   He
only cures women l"    While  this
is not strictly true, and while  the
male magnopath sometimes effects
cures   by   imparting   his   healthy
magnetism to a debilitated  person
of his own sex, it is nevertheless a
fact that a majority of his cures are
effected  in  eases of   women;   the
simple reason for which is. that the
want of masculine magnetism   led
to the nervous derangements,which,
in turn, produced the diseases.from
which  they  seek   relief.    In   any
given case we may not always find
the invalid to lie a   single  woman.
She  may   be  thefc wife of a sickly
man,who generates s<*arcely enough
magnetism to keep  his own   vital
machinery   in   motion,   and  if  he
give off any, it is of a  devitalised
quality; she may be the  wife of a
husband who   is  magnetically   re-
pulsive to her;  the husband and i
wife may be so much alike in  tern
perament, that the forces each gen
and in so short a time, could not
doubt her wonderful power." This
letter was shown to me with quite
an expression of incredulity by the
party to whom it was written, but
its contents were not all surprising,
for the philosophy of the whole
thing was entirely familiar  to my
in a decent, orderly manner; but
too much law ancl rigor in things
that pertain to the love-nature is
worse than none at all, as we all
know forbidden fruit is eagerly
sought. As a dignified matron
once expressed it, 'If it was a sin
to take a drink of  water,   what  a
luxury it would be !'
I have said that cases of sexual
starvation are not as common with
the masculine as with the feminine
sex.    Why, Mother Nature cannot
9/      '
tell, but undoubtedly Mother
Grundy   can.    Men   only  are al-
* a
lowed to make advances���they do
all the courting���often shabbily���
but they do it all:  they even allure
mind. 1 had been cognizant oflyoung and thoughtless girls into
many cures of male invalids by the | tiouble. get drunk, swear, chew
hands of female magnopaths, tobacco, etc.,   without   greatly  af-
Cases  of   disease   produced   byjfecting   their   persona]   or family
They may become
the fathers of illegitimate children.
sexual starvation are not  so  coin
mon with the masculine as with tin
feminine sex. The late Dr. Win. I with the applause of the vulgar.tlu
McLaury, in an address before the harmless jests of their associates.
Society of Medical Jurisprudence and the mild censure of staid peo-
and State Medicine in lSNli, said p|e; while the mothers of jllegiti-
that "some of the most affectionate nmt4�� children are turned out of
loving girls ever born into life have ^M>(j >orj,.(Vi ami frequently from
gone down to despair and suicide, j tbeir mother's door.without shelter
through remorse ami self-condero- for themselves or the innocent vie-
nation at their inability to control tint of their thoughtlessness. With
their love for men perhaps wholly all their privileges and opportun-
erates have,   by  years  of  contact, | unworthy.     Miss   Phelps   says   no ities,   however.   I   have   met   with
liecome  similar  in   character   or man can realize the agonies women ; some men, old as well as young, of
���"",u"     r~ " l ~ :e *'    suffer from 15 to 80, that  is.  from conscientious or bashful traits of
the nubile age to marriage.     Maud- character, or without social  oppor-
quality.    In any such cases, if thc
wife goes to the magnopath, and he
manipulates with his magnetic hand sley, in "Body and Mind,"  says: tunities, who were really sufferinc
some part of her body which has
become the seat of disease, she receives benefit ancl possibly experi-
ences an entire cure. She receives
what her system required, for the
time Iwingat least,and she revives.
Women often cure male invalids by
the "laying on of hands," "magnetic manipulation," etc. I once
saw a letter from one conservative
gentleman to his equally conservative brother, in which, after telling
how much he had Suffered from
nervous prostration, he said: "I
have  experienced   marked    relief
from  Mrs.  's rubbings,   which
put the animal magnetism into me,
"Although women bear sexual ex- j from physical derangements caused
cesses bettor than men do, yet they ky sexual starvation.   Their arc
suffer more than men by the entire  those who think they should bestow
deprivation  of social   intercourse. L0 attention upon a young  woman
Sexual starvation is a condition in
which either men   or   women   may
reach a state when they will sacrifice everything dear in life to them
to appease that appetite���money,
property, friends, family, reputation, ami even the hope of  eternal
bliss. To prevent or appease this
morbid craving of a natural appetite it is only  necessary that  the
���' a
sexes   should   commingle   without
too much restraint by conversing,
singing, dancing,   or even   kissing
unless with the intention of mar
riage, and their moral nature revolts at association with disreputable women. There are conscientious young men in large villages
ami cities, who. not having opportunity for introduction into good
society,live as isolated from women
as hermits, having no other society
than that of men with whom they
are employed. Many of these, how -
ever, are finally conquered by their
m 9/ 1 *���
instinctive longing for the  society July, 1901.]
and magnetism of the opposite sex,
and, denied the society of the good
and respectable, they lay their conscientious scruples at tlie feet of
the harlots.
Years ago the New Vork Tribune
in speaking of the social life of
young men, made some remarks
whicli might appropriately find
place here, for there has liecn little
or no ehange for the better. The
editor was calling attention to the
large and increasing number of
youths between 15 and 30 years of
age in ���our large cities who were
without resident friends or kindred.
' striving to conquer a foothold,
and," exclaimed the writer, "how
hard the contest! What daily
widening gaps between those who
have succeeded and those just entering the lield! Neither the religion nor the social enjoyment of
our prosperous men seems broad
enough to include their employes,
look at the growth of aristocracy
and seclusion; the world of folly,
luxury and fashion: the enormous
cost of subsistence; the meagre salaries in vogue.and see what chance
of comfort or sympathetic ease the
town has to proffer her clerks, apprentices and students. Herded
together in the beds and attics of
boarding-houses, shut out from the
happy homes established by long
residence and success, they are
almost driven to the public saloons
for light ami warmth, and for that
friendly companionship" (and I
will add magnetism) "which,either
for good or evil, youth instinctively
craves and will obtain.
"The employers are surrounded
with all the appurtenances which
make virtue attractive, The employes are not only urged into vice
by their discomforts, but it is vice
alone which tenders them an alluring hospitality. She sets forth her
convenient bar-rooms, her billiard
tables, her concert saloons, her
houses of prostitution���in all of
which we will find a merry welcome." It may be added that the
young men  of larger means and
opportunities have their clubs, and
the more favored individuals of the
other sex have their exclusive association, each not only giving
facility to sexual isolation, but
rather encouraging the same.
Young men crowd the beer
saloons where "pretty waiter-girls"
are employed, and really simply
for magnetic assentation with women. Lager, wine or some other
1 leverage is called for, and often
drank reluctantly, for they wish it
to appear that the drink is what
they are after, at least to those who
observe them descending or ascending the steps of the saloon. Sometimes the contents of the glasses
are left undisturbed. Many of
these young men enter with no
libidinous intentions. They feel
thii*sty or hungry for something,
they hardly know what; it is not
whiskey���it is not beer���it is not
tobacco���all these they may purchase at almost any corner, and the
tobacco may bc chewed or smoked
in the streets. No, nothing will
satisfy the physical and soul yearnings but the magnetism of women.
They may not have thought of this
element���they may never have
asked themselves, or anylody else,
what animal and sexual magnetism
is: they mny never have thought of
any such thing; but here they get
what they hanker for without asking the name or quality of the
People of Inith sexes generally
recognize the fact of sexual attraction; few have given the least attention to the subtle element which
constitutes it. This element, if
investigated, is found not only to
lie a nutrient, but a stimulant more
potent than alcohol, and naturally
possessing none of the injurious
proprieties of the latter. It gives
vigor, and, in reality, it imparts
erectile power to all the tissues of
the body,and aids in producing and
preserving plumpness of form. It
stimulates ambition, imparts elasticity to the muscles and brilliancy
to the eye,of those who are favored
with its influence. Both sexes have
an appetite for it, and frequently
without knowing it. They long for
something, they know not what,
and seek to appease an indefinable
desire by resorting to narcotics,
stimulants and nervines. Herein
drunkenness has an incentive,which
has, perhaps, never before been
thought of; but it is a fact that,
with the imperfect social arrangements which characterize our so-
called civilization, and which attempt to regulate the social intercourse of the sexes, men and women go up and down the earth
famishing for something they cannot, or will not, tell you what���
and finally, in their blind search
for what their S3rstems crave, take
to liquor, toliacco or opium.
fl Cufe for* Smallpox.
A correspondent of the Stockton
(Cal.)   Herald  speaks as   follows
concerning   the smallpox and  its
remedy.    I herewith append a recipe which has  been  used  to  my
knowledge in   hundreds  of cases.
It will prevent or cure the smallpox
though   the   pittings* are    filling.
When   Jenner discovered  cowpox
in  England  the  world  of science
hurled an avalanche of fame  upon
his head; but when the most scientific school of medicine in the world
���that of Paris���published this recipe as a panacea for smallpox  it
passed unheeded.    It is as  unfailing as fate, and toncpuers in  every
instance.     It   is   harmless   when
taken by a well  person.    Here is
the recipe as 1   have  used  it, and
cured my children of scarlet fever,
here it is as I have used it to cure
smallpox.    When  learned  physicians said the  patient  must die, it
has cured:   Sulphate of  zinc, one
grain;   fox  glove,   (digitalis)   one
grain;  half a teaspoonful of sugar.
Mix with two teaspoonfuls of water.
When thoroughly mixed add  four
ounces of water.    Take a teaspoonful every hour.    For a child, similar  doses,   according to age. SH
From Other's Pans
God's Been Civilized-
When 1 compare the preachers' talk
With what the scriptures say,
And I perceive the churches' creeds
Improving day by day;
How superstition's dying out���
That's why I make the claim,
That either God's been civilized
Or else he's not the same.
He used to be a partial God,
And full of angry ways;
He used to bc the rascal's friend:
That's what thc Bible says.
But now for every crime and wrong
I July, mm.
Jorum of the ages. Man is no more
likely to know or feel after he is
dead than is a dingo or a rat or a
platypus; and the clergy know that.
The sham of the future life is the
worst and vilest of all shams, and
those who grow rich upon it are
worse than bandits or pirates,bushrangers or burglars.���J. Symines.
[worst in the world���must be  com-
polled to hand over their ill-gotten
wealth to  the  State.    That  is  its
true and only destination, no matter how   long  justice  may   lie  delayed.    Whoever  reflects   upon  it
will soon perceive that few things /\)&qy^ the Ghtnhs
could lie more monstrous than   for      Against the Chinese laundrymen
a set of fellows who pretend to have , jt ���mv \H. urged that:
received a command, from a divine     Thev use lime.  Ive.   sulohuric
*** * '
or   superhuman   master,    never to acid  and   other  chemicals,   which
The Devil gets the blame;
Which proves that God's been civilized, have money or property, to give up destroy   clothes,   and make them
Or else he's not the same. eyery shml of ^(M)f,s {]\vy l>ossm,__ j Wmf Qu{ qmVkly
for such a set of rogues to   become \    They boil clothes from  brothels,
enormously rich. fust.by wholesale from themselves and from their re-
He used to get so fearful mad
At what his children did.
He'd curse and kill, to scare the folks
To do as they were bid;
But now the preachers say he's good,
In payment of their claim;
So surely God's been civilized,
Or else he's not the same.
They use the  elothes  and   blan
He had a cruel, fiery hell,
To put his children in,
Where they would roast forevermore
Anil suffer for their sin.
But now the priests are hard at work
Extinguishing the flame;
Which shows that God's been civilized.
Or else he's not the same.
���I. Warner.
rebellion against their reputed mas-1 gpectable   customers in  the same
ter's commands; secondly.by wholesale  and  ceaseless   imposture and
heartless   swindling   of   the   p<">r. ; kets of customers to sleep in.
Look at the churches, chapels, con-     They all follow the Chines*' prac-
vents and other churchly or priestly tice of spitting,  or blowing water
property.     Well, the whole oi that,  on the ciothes, from their   mouths.
down to the last farthing,is plunder, I    The clothes are scarcely  safe to
the result of ceaseless lying,  pre- be worn, after being housed in the
tense and imposition.    The priest [unventilated shacks in which they
~ is the "confidence man" par excel- ;an. washed and ironed.
Protection prom Priests lence; his dupes need   protection j    By reason of their competition
M. Waldeck Rousseau is treating more than any other human beings, the   white   laundry  is obliged to
the priests, monks, etc., in  France When justice awakes the proceeds charge higher prices than it would
exactly as all  rational politicians ofthe biggest, blackest ami  most Mo if its volume of business could
"must treat   them  everywhere in a heartless swindle ever known   -tlie  1M- increased by a larger  patronage
few years.    The Kill be has  intro- swindle of the Christian   priests       from our people.
duced into the  French   Parliament will   become   the   property   of  the      The Chinese   laundries  are   per-
is a most drastic measure,  but not people.       M.   Waldeck   Rousseau,   mitted to work on Sundays, and to
one whit more so than is absolutely whether his Bill   pass  or not,   de-(deliver and  collect   clothes   from
necessary.   It prohibits all religious serves the thanks of all good and customers   on   Sundays.     Should
associations   between    Frenchman honest people for bringing this sub- the white laundry attempt to do
and foreigners, or associations with jeel before the French  Parliament,  this it would, no doubt.  Iw  uboy-
headquarters   abroad,   or  directed In this, as in other grave  matters, >otted ' by church people.
by foreigners without the sanction the French are our teachers.    Let     These objections to Chinese laun-
of the State.    It also forbids asso- us do our best to master their les- dries, if generally known,and thor-
ciations   whose   members   live in sons and reduce them  to  practice, oughly reflected  upon,  should  be
common.   The Bill proposes to con- If the aged poor and other really sufficient to   deter  self-respecting
fiscate the property of all such as- necessitous   people were endowed white people from patronizing them,
sociations and to transfer it to the with the proceeds of the priestly i but at present their customers em-
Workmen's Pension Fund. I most plunder,they would be comfortable, i brace all classes in the community,
heartily wish Kousseau full success. We plead for the poor, we protest from the wealthiest to the poorest.
When shall we find in  England or against the  dastardly  cheats   who      A lady had just been toasting of
in Canada a statesman to move for
similar justice with respect to the
priests? Those agents of a foreign
quack   and    fortune-hunter���the
swindle and torture them  in life the cleanliness of her cook to a
under the horrid sham of making
them happy wheu they are dead.
Verily, this is the swindle swindle-
friend who had called. She invited her to go down and see how
beautifully clean he kept the  kit- July, mm.]
chen, aud the cooking utensils.
When the two ladies entered the
kitchen, the Chinaman was in the
act of fishing his socks out of the
tea kettle, in which he had been
boiling them. This is no fancy
story, but can lie vouched for if
necessary. Even the cleanest of
Chinamen are not, always, so clean
as they look.
Supposing that the whole Dominion of Canada should lie filled with
six millions of Chinamen, and, say,
six thousand rich men to employ j
them, how many churches and
schools would l��e needed, and how
would the country stand the drain \
of their earnings being sent to ('hina
at the rate of sixteen hundred and
eighty millions annually? And
where would the next "Canadian
contingent" l>e recruited? The
foregoing supposition is absurd.you
think. So it is. But if it would
Im' monstrous to replace the white
population of Canada with Chinamen, at an annual cost of sixteen
hundred and eighty millions, it is
only in a less degree monstrous to
replace twenty-live thousand of the
population   of   liritish   Columbia
with them at a cost of Wxv millions.
Deep in the breast of the Mongol
is a contempt for, and hatred of
the white man. He conceals it. in
this country, because he has to.
But those who employ Chinese as
domestic servants have little idea
what happens in the kitchen when
something has been done to irritate
the "chef," and stir up his resentment. A cook employed by a family in this city was caught in the
act of putting in the tea pot  that
which should have gone down the
sewer. It is impossible to explain
more particularly. Kor a like
offence, a Chinaman, employed as
cook to a logging camp, in Humboldt County. Cal., was (seven
years ago) taken out and hanged
to a redwood tree.
One  Of  the   least   objectionable
practices of Chinese cooks is that
of blowing water from their mouths I
over dough  when  kneading it for(
bread or pastry. They have been,
frequently, caught doing this, and
generally discharged, though it is a
regular part of the process of pastry
making in their own country. Persons who are fastidious should supply tlieir cooks with stiff tooth
brushes and a package of camphorated chalk���perhaps clorideof��lime
would be better.���Outlook.
Might be Bob Green.
When the sap begins to rise and
the geese begin to mate, we hear
the gentle carol of the county candidate. 0, he's a jolly fellow and
is full of vain conceits, and sees a
bosom friend in every man he
meets. He asks about your family,
your horses and your hogs, and
shows a friendly inteiest in the
children and the dogs. (). he's a
jolly gentleman, as gamesome as a
lamb, as blithesome as a meadow
lark, and happy as a clam. His
prospects are the brightest and his
chances they are sure,and he spends
his money freely and he helps the
needy poor. He goes to church on
Sunday and his pious traits appear,
but when it's necessary he will then
set up the beer. (>. he's a sanguine,
buoyant duck, the jocund candidate, he starts out early in the morn
and stays until it's late. His patient wife unlocks the door, and
with a look of pain sbe says: "You
needn't lie to me, your leg's been
pulled again."���Ex.
The True Place.
The place to take the true measure of a man is not the marketplace or the amen-corner, not the
forum or the lield, \)\\t his own lire-
side. There he lays aside his mask
and you may learn whether he's
imp or angel, king or cur, hero or
Humbug. I care not what the
world says of him���whether it
crowns him with bays or pelts him
with bad eggs; 1 care never a copper
what his reputation or religion may
be; if his babes dread his homecoming, and  his better-half swal
lows her heart every time she has
to ask him for a five-dollar bill,
he's a fraud of the first water, even
though he prays night and morn
till he's black in the face and howls
hallelujah till he shakes the eternal
hills.���W. C. Brann.
Hard to Explain.
Anderson was passionately fond
of honey, and the proprietor of the
Galena hotel at wrhich he always
stopped always had some on hand
for him. On one trip Anderson
took his wife along, and as he approached Galena be mentioned to
her that he was getting to a place
where he could have honey. When
the pair were sitting at the supper
table that night no honey appeared,
and Anderson said sharply to the
head waiter:
4'Where is my honey ?"
The waiter smiled and said:
'' You mean the little black-haired
one?    Oh,   she  don't   work   here
And the Republican says that
Anderson never did get it fixed up
satisfactorily with his wife.
The truth is. there is nothing in
the world more destructive to a
man's moral nature than to devote
himself to the study of theology
under the dominance of a particular creed. His one object is to defend and support that creed, which
he swallows entire and never thinks
of digesting. Whether it be Protestant theology or Popish, the
course is the same, the effect the
same. The student does not study
to find the truth, but to blind himself to the truth: his creed always
comes between him and the truth,
ami he is distressed until he has
twisted everything in the Bible,the
Fathers, etc., into conformity with
that creed. He is bound by what
he considers the most sacred pledges
to find and prove the truth of his
creed; and the falsehood of all rival
creeds; and liy the most unfair and
crooked policy he attains his end,
��� or tries to persuade himself that he
' has. so
(July, mm.
Lord Byron's Love
A Letter ef Passionate Memories. ^ ^ \& ^ ^
Below is what is purported to be I Fancy carries me to a land where
an unpublished letter of Lord the eye grows never dim, where the
Byron. It is addressed to '4My j ear is ever clearly attuned, where
Dear Girl-," and its language is so I the step is buoyant, where is noth-
filled with the passion of youth as i ing that any one fears; but Life has
to fire the hearts of his admirers, shown me a world in whicli Death
"Back of us," it reads, ulies a is inevitably the ruler; a world, the
pleasant land, a country wherein light of which lessens with every
you and I disported ourselves to- day tli/it passes: a* world wherein
gether in un trammeled freedom and Fear compels us to a conformity
unheeding joyousness, and for a and conventional poses, and in
time forgot that, certainly, sooner j which the warm unealculating love
or later, the commonplace would of Youth fades into the callousness
inevitably encroach upon our do-land coldness, ancl disinterest of
main. That time has come���we Age. You say I am moody, to-
are at the parting of the ways, and night. No, my dear, 1 am only
this letter is my kindly farewell to truthful. In the cheery, jolly days
you. In it, I shall write as if all of a few years ago, I had but to
the world could read, while, in beckon my friends and they would
truth, the letter must be destroyed gather with acclaim, and sit down
lest a fear-aiid-hate-encompassed and hold revel while the red wine
people should happen on it, and! ran, and the flowing bowl was
thereupon   brand  you   with  their drained  again  and  again.    Mirth
was King. His courtiers were
madcap revelers, ami they were a
your vows of constancy, if they ! loyal crew. HeU* was their Divin-
ever recur to you at all, may pro- ity; but Time, Time the Tomb-
voke but your tolerant smile; but, builder, poured the waters of Lethe
by the gods, the fire of laughing, in their caps, and it corroded their
reckless Youth still runs riot in
your veins, and I shall ever remember that when the Past was j came transformed to a discordant
yours and mine together, there was I cackle, and their mirth changed to
never a moment when Life,for you, mocking. They say, and they lie-
was not a thing to lie appreciated j lieve when they say it, that Wine
with the keenest zest, to be enjoyed is an enemy; that Women are
with the utmost abandon, ancl to wicked; aud that Life is a vanity
be remembered without a regret, of vanities. Blaine them not. for
Herein, were you incomparable. they are old; but grieve with them
1 have known many men and that the fires of exuberant Youth
women, but of them all, you got do not always burn,
the most out of the chances that Life is a servitude The rulers
were you rs. All others who have of the world are slaves. To rule,
assisted me in decking with gar- they must lalor, and the. labor
lands of abandon the horn's  of  re- crushes thein with its inertia,   and
stigma.   .   .
ancl     uncharitable
You  may  forget;
veins ancl thinned their blood: and
their erstwhile joyous laughter be-
creation, have had some compunctions aroused by either fear or conscience. You had none���I know
them not, and so, between us, we
made the world seem bright.
I  am  an   idealist,   a   dreamer.
the garlands they win do but deck
tombs, and that,SO long only as the
daylight lingers. Such garlands
dissolve in the shadows of the lii-st
night,and the mists of morning fall
on the bare graves that they adorn.
Our only friend is Memory. Her
eye brims with understanding; her
voice iH caressing and tender; her
touch is magnetic with sympathy.
Today, Youth lures us to go; tomorrow, Age will command us to
stay, and then will Memory lie my
Sweet-voiced guest, and she will sit
by my side, and look into my dimming eyes, ancl sing  the   songs  of
Yesterday,   she will dwell on the
glory of morning; she will recall
the friends who joined with me in
ready homage to King Mirth; she
will s|>eak of Helie; and then will
come your name, my royal, clear-
eyed, straight-limbed Sweetheart;
and at last will I know that Oh I
Age is not too heavy a burden to
carry in payment of having once
liecn young.
Doubt  will whisper,   "Sue was
fickle.inconstant. She never really
cared for you;" but the Ghost of
Youth will tlit jntoss thc strings of
thc   heart,   and   that   will pulsate,
"She was young; Bhe was beautiful;
her kisses were endearing; her embrace was full of  lire and   passion
and life: the response of  her  body
was complete in its amorous  aban-
| don; and if she changed or  forgot,
I we all change ami forget; but while
! the glamour  lasted,   its   spell   was
; transmuting,  and   that   for   which
the Universe was created, was  our
unstinted portion."
And when Time has taken ine so
far that even Memory's voice can
no longer awaken the heart to
answer.then will it suffice to record
I of me, "This Man Lived.' And
IBS you and I wander through Life
after Life in unlimited series, perchance WC will meet, and like a
rush of fern scents wafted from
years long jiast. will come again
Memory, and you and I. though
we know not why, will be glad;
and it will be because we laughed
and sang together, long before, and
gave small heed to the droning
world, which, had it known our
hearts, would have used our mimes
to adorn the moral of one of its degenerate tales.    And so. Farewell,
A: July, 1901.]
The Rough Rider Died.
Pull the shutters open, Harry.   Let me
feel the evening breeze,
How it murmurs soft scent-laden thro'
the. Hower-glad forest trees.
See there where that sarsaparilla climbs
that old dead gum tree trunk
And the  sun throws fleeing shadows
from it, right across my bunk.
Early in the day, old fellow, they were
i   playing round my head,
When the shadows reach the shutter,
then, hoy, I'll be lying dead.
I was thinking all the. niorning, just before you chaps came in,
What those people mean who tell us
each man must repent his sin.
I have done no sin I know of.   What is
sin?   I drink and swear,
But I never wronged a woman, or to
man was else than fair,
Yet the parson came this morning,knelt
and prayed my soul to save
And   when   leaving,   said   forgiveness
must l>e Bought this side the grave.
Told me in a serious fashion what it did
no good to know,
How a woman ate an apple some few
million vears ago:
Since then, Wliite and Black and Yellow,
each and all are full of sin,
God He ain't that sort, for tell me���isn't
that a bit too thin ?
I can't manage this repenting.    All  I
know, I've got to die.
God will see me fair, old fellow,  what's
up Harry?    Want to cry?
Don't be soft you grey old badger, you'll
peg out some day I s'pose,
And we might meet one another in that
other world; who knows?
Why will people tell a fellow  that  he's
got to go to hell?
They don't  know,  they've  never been
there; no one yet came hack to tell.
But, old mate, I'll soon be wiser, tho' a
breaker wild and rough,
Than  those  people   who   are   flaming
with all sorts of hellish stuff
Harry, I ve just got t.�� chance it, I can't
pray; forgotten how;
Pin not frightened, only sorry that I've
got to (tie. just now ,
I am young, just two and twenty,punch
this chest, 'tis broad and sound,
Yet by this time Friday, Harry, I'll   be
lying in the ground.
Oh, that ugly walleyed  lilly,  ere she
banged ine on that gun,
I had very little notion  she'd  send   me
to kingdom come
In my swag you  lind a  letter   tnv  old
mother wrote her Will;
When  I'm  buried  write and  tell   her
that I'm gone a kind o' til.
Bide a while and write her fully -she'll
expect to hear it so���
That I've, backed my last buck -jumper,
gone where all at length must go,
Tell her that 1 still remember what she
used to tell me sav
'Bout "Our Father," tho' 1 haven't���it
will please her anyway.
Make a lot of little crosses underneath
my name at last,
Kisses for the poor old mother. Harry,
I am dying fast.
Pull the shutters wider open, let me see
the flowers again;
Hear the curlews, how they're screaming, Harry, that's a ��ign of rain.
I don't feel a bit of sickness, I could kill
a bullock now,
Or make things almighty lively in a
fair four-cornered row;
But my back is broke, old fellow; something's wrong- inside my head,
And the doctor said by sunset, I'd be
numbered with the dead.
Harry, what's gone wrong, old fellow?
1 keep slipping, slipping down,
Hold my hand, how dark  it's getting,
all the sunshine has a frown.
Harry, don't forget poor mother,  write
and tell her what I said���
Climbs the shadow o'er the shutters,
and the rider lies there dead.
Thoughts of Thinkers.
People do not lack strength, they
lack will.���Hugo.
No subject can lie too sacred to
lie understood.���Ingersoll.
Kvery noble life leaves the fibre
of it interwoven forever in the
works of the world. ��� Huskin.
The opportunity of life must be
seized during the lifetime of the
opportunity.���Albany Argus.
Fn less a tree has lorne blossoms
in spring you will vainly look for
fruit on it in autumn.���Hare.
Self-reliance, self-restraint, self-
control, self-discipline, these constitute an educated will.���.lames
Freeman Clarke.
It is no inevitable source of un-
happiness that we havo got rid of
belief in n being like this (theorthodox Qod). In so far as belief
may Im1 controlled by will, one
would not wish to believe in his
existence. But. in the absence of
any proofs of his existence afforded
even by those who live on his name
why should there be any terror, or
9/ *l
melancholy, or tendency to unhap-
piness and grief ? Men thus convinced are left to natural laws, virtues and learning. They have banished, once for all, a spectre which,
if it was not absolutely hideous,was
terrorizing; and thoy are free to
think, without fear, of those secular
and surrounding objects which, as
being   nearest,    should   naturally
command  their first   attention.���
Francis Keale.
Modern civilization rests upon
physical science, for it is physical
science that makes intelligence ancl
moral energy stronger than brute
force. The whole of modern thought
is steeped in science. It has made
its way into the works of our best
poets, and even the mere man of
letters, who affects to ignore and
despise science, is unconsciously
impregnated with her spirit and
indebted for his best products to
her methods. She is teaching the
world that the ultimate court of
appeal is observation and experience, not authority. She is -creating a firm and living faith in the
existence of immutable moral and
physical laws, perfect obedience to
which is the highest possible aim
of an intelligent being.���Huxley.
Priests tell us that there is a god
somewhere who takes care of the
people of this world, a god somewhere who watches over the widow
and the orphan, a god somewhere
who releases the slave, a god somewhere who visits the innocent man
in prison, the same god that has
allowed men during thousands of
years to burn to ashes their fellow-
men simply for loving that god.
We have been taught that it is
dangerous to reason upon these
subjects, and that, of all crimes in
the world, the great-set is to deny
the existence of that god. Redden
vour   hands  in  the  blood  of the
young and innocent,steal the bread
of the orphan, deceive, ruin and
desert the beautiful girl who has
loved and trusted you; for all this
you may be forgiven, for all this
you can have the clear writ of that
bankruptcy court of the gospel; but
deny the existence of that god, and
the tearful face of mercy becomes
lurid with eternal hate; the gates
of heaven are shut against you,and
you, with an infinite curse ringing
in your ears, commence your wanderings as an immortal vagrant, as
a deathless convict, as an eternal
outcast. ���Ingersol 1.
- mum
Good By*��God Bless You m much as it does a homely woman's.
I read of a woman the other day
who had her husband arrested for
shootiug the nose off her China tea
I like the Anglo-Saxon speech,
With its direct revealings,
It takes a hold, and seems to reach
Way down into vour feelings.
That some folks deem it rude, I know
And therefore they abuse it;
But I have never found it so���
Before all else I'd choose it.
I don't object that men should air
The Gallic they have paid for,
With "Au revoir,"   "Adieu ma chere,"
For that's what French was made for.
But when a crony takes your hand
At parting to address you,
He drops all foreign lingo and
He says, "Good by���God bless you."
That seems to me a sacred phrase,
With reverence impassioned,
A thing come down from righteous days,
Quaintly but nobly fashioned;
It well becomes an honest face,
A voice that's round and cheerful;
It stays the Sturdy in his place,
And soothes the weak and fearful.
Into the porches of the ears
It steals with subtle unction,
And in your heart of heart appears
To work its gracious function;
And all day long with pleasing song
It lingers to caress you,
I'm sure no human heart goes wrong
That's told,"Good by���God bless you."
���Eugene Field.
Reflections of a Bachelor
When a woman is very positive
she is never certain.
When a ma-ti gets married there
is at least one woman that he loses
all his influence with.
pot. If he had shot her own nose
off she would probably have forgiven him.
We can't wonder at the vast increase of wealth when we consider
how many married men go down
town every night or two to work
over their books.
Sometimes the women with the
smallest mouths have the largest-
sized kisses.
If I were a married man, piobably, the editor of this paper
wouldn't dare print these reflections.
The way a woman talks aliout
"breaking" her heart, you would
think it was made out of old China.
���New York Press.
The longer a man lives the more
he has to live for and the more he
has to live without.
A Liund Orator.
He���But you should hear hiin
when he is really full of his subject.
She���Carries his audience with
him. does he ?
He���Right into it.    Why, when
he was preaching on "Hades''  the
other night, he had to stop till the
It always seems like a miracle to UHhers distributed fans.���Brooklyn
a man tbe way a woman will man- j Ufe#
age a big hat, a long skirt, a bundle i ==���-    ���  bs =	
and her religion in a high wind.
The average man would rather
have his wife act like the devil and
look like an angel than to act like
an angel and look like the devil.
The world owes every man a living and every woman a loving.
Any man can get the best of a
woman if he only  knows how  to
make her too mad to cry. If y��" want to keep posted on the
development of the   Interior of British
A man's love can   Is*   beckoned,   Columbia, vou can't afford to la* without
but  not  commanded;   a  woman's theROSStAND MINER.   Semi in your
' . subscriptions at once.
love can  be commanded,   but not;
.     , , Daily by mail, tier month     5**
beckoned. Weekly, per year $2.00
[July, idol
By the UUayside.
A flower once fell by the wayside,
But some of its fragrance remained;
Its leaves were all faded and drooping,
Its velvety petals were stained.
But one who was passing by gathered
The blossom that once was so fair;
And light, warmth and love soon revived
And it lived by the tenderest care.
An erring one fell by the wayside���
One who had been tempted and tried���
And those who passed by did not  linger;
None spoke but to censure and chide,
No hand was outstretched to the fallen���
None paused Mercy's message to tell���
The wanderer died, was forgotten,
And the passer-by said, "It is well."
O, stretch out a hand to the erring,
A kind word of sympathy say;
Remember you never were tempted
As those who are falling today.
Just one word from you may reclaim them;
O, pause as you pass by the way,
There are angels in heaven rejoicing
O'er the lost one you've rescued today.
���Boston Globe,
Beauty's Suaeetest
Naiad, why do poetl l<��ve thee,
Why to thee their muse devote.
And to maids of dress and corset
Hardly ever sing a note?
Tell me why the pailiter limns thee
In thy hand of feu and glade,
Turning seldom to the woman
Propriety and prudes have made ?
And the Naiad, Hiniling coyly,
Rosy as the tint of dawn,
Radiant in her glorious !>eautv,
Graceful as a playing fawn.
Answered briefly: "I am Nature,
Not the dwarf of hate and strife,
Beauty's sweetest revelation���
Ideal form of jdeal life."
���J. R. Stevenson.
It's a great advantage to be a
pretty woman, because the wind
never blows her skirts around her
Kofuland, H. <���
A dignified clergyman had a parishioner addicted to drink, and one
night met him coming home in such
a condition that he remonstrated
with him on the sjwit. By way of
clinching his argument he asked.
"What would you say if you were
to see me reeling (low 11 the road in
a state of hopeless intoxication?"
Tin* offender appeared to Im* deeply
impressed, and answered fervently,
"1 wouldn't tell a soul, sir.'
In a recent speech at  Potsdam
the Kaiser said that the sword was
the noblest weapon. As it keeps
him in jKiwer he could not lie ex-
pected to say anything else. Rulers
can always blow taffy into  the air
when their selfish interests demand
��������� 1
Ififfiriiiii    ''" in 1 An ��m>


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