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The Hosmer Times Mar 3, 1910

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Array Your special attention is called to our
ad on back page.
A. Mills ft Son
THE HOSMER TIMES
Your special attention is called to onr
ad on back page.
A Mills ft Son
Volume II.
HOSMER, B. C. THURSDAY, MARCH 3, 1910
NlJMBEB .31
Office Supplies
Ledgers
Journals
Day Books
Counter Books
Butchers and Grocers
Pass Books
Pass Books, plain or
ruled
Carbon Paper
Typewriter Paper
Rulers
Inks—Stephens, Underwoods, Staffords and
Drapers
Shannon Files
Ottawa Files
Binding Cases
Clip Files
Stick Files
Card Racks
Pins, Etc.
Also a Complete Stock of Drugs
and Patent Medicines at
The Hosmer Drug & Book Store
H. F. McLEAN, Manager
Marlatt's New SpringGoods
New Prints    New Ginghams New Blouses
New Skirts    New Neckwear New Ribbons
New Goats     New Boys' Suits New Dress Goods
New Belts     New Silks New Boots
New Gents' Neckwear New Shoes
Special for Friday and Saturday
Four pairs of Women's Cashmere Hose $1.00
OPERA HOUSE BLOCK, HOSMER
WALL PAPER WALL PAPER
iii
« <
CROCKERY WARE
We have added a crockery ware department and
have now in stock plain and fancy ware consisting of Dinner Sets, Toilet Sets, Tea Pots, large
and very swell Pepper and Salt Shakers, Sugar
Sets, Glass Pitchers, Mixing Bowls, Tumblers,
Wine Glasses and Cut Glass Sets.
A. B. CAMPBELL
t
WALL PAPER WALL PAPER
*****************************
Real Estate Bargains
For some snaps in real estate call and
see me. Some good houses and rooms
for rent. Agent for life and accident
insurance in thoroughly reliable companies.
R. W. ROGERS
Post Office Block HOSMER, B. 0,
a
HOSMER    HOTEL
JOHN .SORKEE, PROP&
Fine Wines, Liquors and Cigars
Any kind of mixed drinks that you call for will be
served in First class style
Best   Rooms   and   Meals  in  the   Town
YOUR TRADE SOLICITED
Front St.
Hosmer, B. C.
WWV+/+++***
We ROYAL
The only Commercial Hotel
Sample Rooms
Main St., Hosmer
i^AeAAi^A^^^^^^^^V
CITIZENS OF HOSMER
VISIT THE COAL MINE
Marvellous Development of the Coal Fields Will
Make Hosmer the Premier Town of Kootenays
***************************************
Queen's Hotel
The Workingman's Home
Is now under the management of Robert Gourlay
and will be run for the accommodation of the working
class. All modern improvements. Transent rates $1
per day, special rates by the week
Front St. Hosmer, B. C.
****************************************************
On Sunday, February 21st, a
party of the influental citizens
of Hosmer, consisting of A
Mathieson, R. W. Rogers, C. B.
Winter, Wm. Robson, H. F.
McLean, James Hixon, A. E.
Ferguson, F. Labelle, L. A Lanthier and B. F. Lester, desired
to see the interior of The Hosmer Mines, Ltd., Securing the
co-operation and friendly sur
vices of the genial superintend'
ent, D. G. Wilson, the party
scaled the hill and securing
satety lamps went into the
bowels of the mountain to see
for themselves the wonderful
resources and marvelous development of what will prove
to be the richest coal mining
field in the Crow's Nest Pass
and which is attracting the
attention of the investing world
at the present.
For the information of the
outside public, we may say the
property consists of six sections
of coal lands and two sections
of surface on which are located
the outside works and miners'
dwellings and is in what is
known as the Fernie coal measures. The tunnel commences
in the shales underlying the
measures and crosscuts at 20
per cent, off the strike, the
various seams of coal which
have made the Crow's Nest
Pass famous.
The Bio Tunnel
The tunnel is about 600 ft.
higher than the C. P. R. track
at Hosmer and consists of three
compartments, two of which
are used for haulage and one ns
a travelling and pipe way; they
measure 8, 7 and 5 ft. wide by 10
ft. high for travelling ways with
massive posts and collars showing the finest example of mine
timbering in British Columbia.
The tunnel extends straight
into the mountain at a half of
one per cent, gradient for 4,900
ft.
No. 2 Seam
By the time the party reached
No. 2 seam, which is the first
workable seam, their eyes were
somewhat used to the light of
the safety lamps and could find
their way around pretty well.
No. 2 is 1,603 ft. from the
entrance of the tunnel and
on the south side the gangway is driven in for 1,420
ft., 10 tt. wide and the average thickness of the coal is 14
ft. The whole of the distance
of this gangway shows no trace
of hitch or fault of any description. The average inclination
of this seam is 62 degrees and is
worked by the chute system,
which is a modified room and
pillar style of working.
This seam is a bright, hard
coal and is excellent for steam
purposes. When you consider
the enormous amount of coal
in sight in this seam, you are
apt to think that in itself it
would make a mammoth mine
and be capable of employing a
large number of men and of
supporting a town of 4,000 inhabitants. Tho gangway on
the north side is driven in for
somo600ft., the width of the
gangway and thickness of the
coal being same as south vide.
No. 6 Seam
Arriving at the tunnel again,
the party 'proceeded along the
same to No. 6, which is the next
workable vein. It is 3,3.38 ft.
from the entrance and two
gangways are driven north and
south at approximately right
angles to the tunnel for 1,020
ft. on the south side and 930 ft.
on north side. The width of
the gangway is 10 ft. and the
average thickness of the seam
is 8 ft. This is known as a first
class coking coalfc
No. 9 Seam
Proceeding further along the
tunnel the party arrive at No.
9, which is the same as No. 2 of
Coal Creek. No. 9 is 4,232 ft.
from the entrance and is opened up the same as proceeding
seams, viz: by gangways to
North and South, the North is
driven in for 520 ft. and the
South for 600 ft. This is the
finest steam coal in Canada and
the thickness averagos 5 ft. of
clean coal.
No. 10 Seam
No. 10 is known au the big
seam it is 4,820 ft. from the
entrance of the tunnel. It aver
ages in thickness 40 ft. However the management are only
working 10 ft. of it. It is open
ed up the same as other seams,
the gangways being driven in
230 and 220 ft respectively.
No. 10 is coking coal.
The Air Tunnel
Returning along the tunnel
the party went into No. 2 North,
and thence into the return air
tunnel which is 14 ft. wide
by 8 ft. 6 in.vhigh. This air
tunnel while the same level as
the main tunnel at No. 2, gradually raises and when it
crosses the next seams passes
over them thus removing the
necessity of over casting
which is a great advantage.
Every part of the property
seems planned for a great coal
production, the roads are laid
with 40 lb, steel, the air motors
for haulage are 10 ton each, and
the mine is ventilated by a
20x7 Walker fan, running ordinarily as an exhaust fan, but
so fixed that, if necessary, it
can be used as a blow fan.
This fan is driven by a pair
of 38x16 inch engines, connected up to the fan by a rope
drive, the steam for which is
supplied by three 80 h. p. boilers. The fan is of steel and
concrete construction and the
engine house the same. The
other buildings at the mouth of
the mine are a concrete lamp
house and timekeepers office,
locomotive house for the compressed air locomotives and
wash house with baths and
lockers for the use of the
miners.
The coal is lowered to the
level of the tipple by a steam
actuated incline, each track being independent.
The mine cars, holding two
tons each, are lowered in trips
of twelve to twenty cars each.
The haulage engines are a pair
of 28x48 inch first motion engines with 8 ft. drums, fitted
with clutches and brakes,
which with the reversing gear
and throttle, are all handled by
steam, working through cataract cylinders.
From the foot of the incline
the cars will be hauled to the
tipple by a compressed air locomotive, and dumped into the
same over a crossover dump,
passing over shaking screens to
remove tho slack for the coke
ovens, and over picking bands
for the purpose of removing
the refuse from the larger size
coal. Storage bins aro provided
to hold 2,000 tons of coal, 200
tons of rock, und 3,000 tons of
slack for the coko ovens. The
rock in tho rock bin is drawn
out into iron self-dumping cars,
and hauled to tho refuse dump
by a compressed air locomotive.
The coal in the coal bins is
loaded into box cars by a box
car loader and tho open cars
from chutes. The slack from
the slack bins is loaded into
seven-ton lurries and hauled by
a compressed air locomotive
over to the coke ovens.
There are 240 bee hive coke
ovens twelve feet in diameter
and seven feet high, which will
give an output of 300 tons per
day. Belgian ovens with byproduct recovery and distilling
plant, are in contemplation for
the next ovens required.'
The power house building  of
reinforced concrete with steel
floor joists and roof trusses,
which roof trusses are covered
with corrugated iron contains
four air compressors. Two low
pressure compressors to furnish
air at 100 lbs. for tho rock drills,
inside hoisting engines and
various other purposes uround
the plant; and two to
furnish air at 1,000 lbs. for
the five compressed air locomotives. The generators, for
the purpose of lighting the
town and plant, are driven by
two 125 h. p. engines. All of
those engines nre fitted with
cut-off valves, the purpose being
to carry steam at-120 lbs. pre-
sure, cut off early, and use tho
steam expansively. The ex
ha ust steam from all of these
engines is connected into two
20-foot pipe lines, one known
as the atmosphere line, and
the other as the heater line,
By means of valves tho steam
from any or all the engines can
be turned into either of these
lines. When turned into the
heater line, the steam passes
through a 1,500 h. p. Hoppe's
Exhaust Steam Heater, heating
the boiler feed water to 200 degrees F. A. ten-ton travelling
crane has been installed for the
convenient. handling of the
machinery.
A boiler house, also of reinforced concrete, with steel
trussed roof, covered with
corrugated iron, and cement
floor, contains six 250 horsepower Babcock & Wilcox boilers, with chain grate stokers,
and appliances for the convenient handling of coal and ashes.
Mr. Wilson was most painstaking in his efforts to explain
everything to his visitors, who
were apparently surprised to
see the extent of the plant and
the amount of the development
in the mines and after thanking Mr. Wilson for his kindness
left full of rosy hopes for the
futuro of Hosmer and think
that with such a wealth of
coal in the mountains that
Hosmer may well aspire to be
the premier town in the Kootenays.
PROVINCIAL ESTIMATES
JUST ARRIVED!
Apples, four lbs. for 25c
Oranges, the famous Sunkist,
per dozen 30c and 40c
FRED COX
Main Street
Hosmer, B. C.
Roads Call for Large Expenditure in
the Kootenay Constituences
The estimates were presented in the house at Victoria last
week and contained the following appropriations:
Greenwood—$30,200 for roads.
Kaslo—Roads, $56,300; government offices, $20,000.
Cranbroook—Roads, $65,000;
bridges, about $10,000; also a
further amount, not yet fixed,
to be spent on a trunk road.
Rossland — $6,000 and an
amount for schools not yet
determined.
Ymir—Roads, $75,000; ferries,
$1100; also a large  bridgo  vote
not yet published.
Slocan—Roads, $65,000; bridges,
$18,000.
Grand Forks—Roads, $30,000,
including amounts for extension of Christina lako road,
extension of Franklin Camp,
now road on Hardy mountain,
assistance toward foot bridge
near smelter across the north
fork of the Kottlo river; court
house and site, temporary vote,
$20,000; assistance to Phoenix
in lieu of 2 per cent tax, $1000;
total for Grand Forks, $51,200.'
Fernio formerly was dealt
under the Cranbrook agency.
This year the finance minister
has recognized Fernie as a
separate entity. Bonds, $65,000;
court house, $29,000: river improvements at Now Michel and
West Fernio, $0500; total, $100,-
500.
Revelstoke—Roads, $56,000,
including amounts for extension of road to 8-mile post and
extension of road connecting
with the now bridgo across the
Columbia river; also an amount
for bridges not yet published.
Columbia—$45,000.
The following amounts are
also included in the supplementary estimates: Cranbrook, $1-
000; Fernie, $1000; Grand Forks,
$3000; Greenwood, $1000: Kaslo,
$500; Revelstoke, $6500; Slocan,
$500; Ymir, $500.
****************************************************
The Smile f
jThat Won't Come Off!
< is always worn by tho purchasers of ti Heintzman & Co, *
.[ piano because they know   tbat they have selected tho 1
;j piano with which they will ALWAYS be delighted,   ('.'ill J
•« and inspect these famous instruments.   Open evenings.       *
||HEINTZMAN PIANO PARLORS;
: \ M. W. ELLK Y, Dist riot Manager J
\ Grand Theatre Block Fernie, B. C. I
****************************************************
♦♦♦♦♦■»♦ *»♦♦♦♦•»♦♦♦■*»♦♦♦♦♦♦♦ ♦♦♦•»<»•»>•»♦♦••>
FRANK WOODS
PAINTER
Estimates Furnished on Application
11 Orders promptly attended HOSMER, B. C.
.•a^.a'aVaa'aW.^.c-a^.a'aW^aa-n-aWjia-nWaafe  al
^9*^*r^9*^9*^er^jr*^^ramymy *
•♦♦♦♦♦♦♦
BANK OF, MONTREAL
(ESTABLISHED 1817)
Capital All Paid Up $14,400,000 West $12,000,000
HEAD OFFICE MONTREAL
Rt. Hon. Lord Strathcona and Mount  Royal,  (1. (.', M, (i,
Hon. President.
Hon.' Sir George Drummond, K. C, M. G., President.
Sir Edward Clouston, Part., "Vice  President and General
Manager.
1      Branches in Bwnisn Cohmhm
Armstroiii*. Ohllltwack, Endcrby, (Jrcon'wood, Hotmier, Ke-lowini, N'ohcou *fo*»v buhrot'
Nicola, Now Woslmlnstor, lloBtilanil iSuiumorland, Vancouver, Vorjuiri, Victoria.
Savings Hank Department
DepoMtfi of 81 nnd upward rooelvod. Internal allowed eel current rales and paid
hall yearly. Tho depositor is Hubjoct t<( no delay wliatevor In tho withdrawn! of Iho
wholo or any pnrt of tho dceposil.
Hosmer Branch
C. B. WINTER, Manager
*****************************************************
I      P. BURNS C& CO., Limited
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL
Meat Merchants
Fresh and Cured Meats, Fresh Fish, Game and Poultry.
We supply only the best; Your trado solicited. Markets
in all the principal Towns and Cities in  British Columbia,   2
MAIN STREET
HOSMER, B. C.
*****************************************************
*****************************************************
%»•   \»e»   \*m
C. C. C. t
Prime Beef, Pork, Mutton and Veal
Just received a nice supply of Fish,
including Halibut, Salmon, Kippers,
Bloaters, Finnan Haddie, Etc. Call
and inspect our stock
Calgary Cattle Co. Calgary Cattle Co.
*****************************************************
GEO.    McMURREN
All kinds of Draying done on short notice
Dry Wood for sale
AGENT vein
The Celebrated Tabor Coal
If ftCMITD      "inn l;- i.i-:i"i' at ''in-: im'kkxs hoi i i.     "D    f
llVa/l clcLIV W1U, HKCKIVE PROMPT ATTICXTION        el>»   V.
*****************************************************
X  L. A. Lanthieh
X
.((is. ASSELIN
+
*
*
*
Hosmer Livery & Transfer Co.!
Livery, Cartage and Feed Stable
Rigs at all Hours at Reasonable Prices
Dealers in Coal
|| FRONT STREET
HOSMER, B.C,
X
*
*
*
*
*
**************************************************** THE    TIMES,    HOSMER.    BRITISH    COLUMBIA.
DIVIDEDJTAYS. •
What a Chance Meeting After
Many Years Revealed.
By  SUSAN   H.  MORL.EY.
[Copyright,   1909.   by  Associated  Literary
Press.]
"There's not another such stretch on
the whole sound," Lisa was saying
gayly. "Tor miles It's this same way— I
bo level thnt at low tide we could, If
we chose, pass dry shod, like the children of Israel, to the other side, which
means to yon Island, lu fact, It's our
favorite"—
A whirring black cloud, startling the
horses, rose suddenly from the edge of
the water as they turned a sharp
point, and Selh Ecklefl, wbo was no
horseman, had all he could do to keep
Ills seat.
••Stormy petrels." laughed Lisa. "The
beach takes its name from them, they
haunt it In such numbers, you know.
If you could stay another month, Seth,
«:e'd make a rider of you. It's a better spoi'1 any time, 1 warrant, than
those new glossed games you talk so
much about."
Kckles, who was comfcertabty settled
In his saddle again, listened to the
pe.muling of tbe hoots on tbe hard, wet
ambitions fully equaled his, and bet
penchant for politics was a factor in
bis career, pushing him into places he
knew In* could not bave reached alone,
Kor a lime honors seemed absolutely
heaped upon blm. He could scarcely
keep step with fortune's pace, so fasl
and furiously did she mount. But,
once started on the ladder, be continued to eliiub, even long after bis wife's
death and when his bair bad grayed
and Lisa was but a misty dream. And
luck still held his hand.
He was in the running for governor,
making, the press snld, a phenomenal
campaign. Men spoke of him as the
brilliant light, tbe strong man of bis
lime. Everywhere he was made much
of, and It was at a reception for bim
lu the old clubhouse at tbe end of the
pier Ibat a sleeping memory awoke.
Could it be possible that be was
awake? Only an hour ago it might
have been tbat be last saw the cool
green of tlie ballroom, the long bowers
of palms with lights twinkling among
the black greeu foliage, the surf beating at I lie pier and the white foam
dashing high. There was music, too.
just as on that other night, but Lisa,
shimmering in pale green, wltb the
string of pearls close to her white
throat aud nestling iu her yellow hair
-l.isa-
"I claim the privilege of an old
friend." A musical voice spoke close
lo bis ear as be leaned on tbe railing,
ami some (die touched bis arm.
It was Lisa, lie knew It before he
turned to see ber In pale, shimmering
green, with pearls at ber throut and lu
the same fair balr, She smiled at him,
loo. In Ibe old way, with little dimples
about her mouth and her sensitive lips
moving ever so slightly, though her
face wns iu repose.
How pretty she was! Incomparably
prettier than that other night and with
a sweet, womanly dignity which puzzled him. What had come to her to so
beautify beauty, to so Intensify loveliness?
He forgot the years and deeds that
lay between that faroff night and tbls,
like leaves between tbe covers of a
book, remembering only as It were the
preface tbat once sbe bad loved him,
that be still loved her, the crown of
any man's life.
"Lisa:" he cried, his face aglow, bis
hands extended.   "Lisa!"
"Dreaming!" sbe laughed. Tben the
little hand pulled at his sleeve as the
other reached toward two men In the
shadows. One of tbem was strong and
fine and one was young and handsome.
"1 waut you, Selh," she said, "to know
my sou aud my husband."
HE CAST IT OUT.
W.   Allward's   Prescription  For -Rheumatism Discovered by Accident .
A r-tory about Mr. Walter 8. Alt-
ward, the noted Toronto scirlptor,
told by his friends, is too good to be
missed* even though in publishing it
one runs the risk of involving him in
trouble with the Ontario Mediea.'
Council.
Some years ago Mr. Allward was
working on a certain statue, and engaged as a model an Irishman who
was a very fine specimen of physical
manhood, but who suffered to some
extent from rheumatism. His malady
was his constant thought and theme
of conversation, tor. being exceptionally healthy and strong otherwise, he
made much of an affliction which
other men might have thought .little
about. One day Mr. Allward was
taking a cast of the Irishman's neck,
and in putting on the plaster either
he or his assistant overlooked the
customary preliminary of a coating
cf grease. They did not notice the
omission of this precaution until they
came to take the plaster off; but on
attempting to remove it they found
that it had hardened, apparently to
stay until worn out, on the model's
neck. Tben ensued an unpleasant
experience for the- Irishman, as with
jack knives and other instruments Mr.
Allward and liis helper cut and hammered awav at the cast, having particular difficulty 111 getting it free
of the lower part of the man's hair.
Finally the task was successfully performed, and the Irishman was nhle
to laugh with the other:- at his rather
unenviable experience, but he did not
forget  it.
One clay, quite a long time after,
Mr. Allward ran across him, ufter
losing track of him entirely.
"Well, well," said the sculptor,
"and how ate ynu anyway? Do you
remember the day we got that cast on
your neck and had such a picnic getting it off?'
"Do Oi remember it?" said the
Irishman; "Faith an' Oi do. 'Twas
a terrible time, wasn't it? But Oi've
been long wantin' to tell ye that
'twas the grand ting for me afther
all; for b'dad, Oi've niver had the
rheumatics since."—Saturday  Night.
POINTS ABOUT NEW.-CU iDLAKD
JVELY KlCe ITEMS
Arizona's Big Man Writes In His
Usual Breezy Style.
SQUARE DEAL FOR EVERY ONE
"DO VOU KNOW VOU HAVEN'T SI'OKEN POII
TUK LONGEST WHILE?"
sand, his eyes ou Lisa, whose small
gray form seemed to blend and become a part of the lithe gray she was
riding.
He admired her Immensely, this stepdaughter of his aunt, and suddenly it
seemed to blm that mortal man could
ask for nothing better than Lisa for
a wife, and life in Ibis out of the way
but aristocratic and exclusive, self satisfied old town.
And Lisa was pretty. Not a girl he
had ever known could compare wltb
her In beauty, not to mention a certain
rare grace of manner and an unusual,
dainty wit.
Sbe   bad   money   nnd   lineage,   too, J
buck of her, and Setb Eckles was old j
enough and wise enough to know tbe
value of such things.
"if silence is golden," she Interrupted quizzically, "tben your burden must
iudeed be heavy. Do you know you
haven't spoken tor tbe longest while?"
"I was-thinking," he stammered
guiltily, ashamed that anything so
sordid as family aud money could for
ou instant have associated themselves
In his mind with the girl herself, it
was Lisa that he wanted.
"How late!" Lisa exclaimed with tbe
booming of the sunset gnu on tbe old
fort across the channel. "If you but
kuew It. Seth. we're live miles from
home. Then there's dinner and dressing, aud 1 can't under any circumstances allow a guest to disgrace himself by arriving tardily at a function
In his honor.    We've gut to run for it."
She wheeled and led off. Seth following and keeping up as best be
could, but undaunted by the distance
between them. Was there not the
dance at the clubhouse yet before his
train at midnight? At any rate, It was
a chance.
And Seth made tbe best of It. The
long galleries were bowers of palms
und remote from the ballroom, and
there, with the tide puuimeliiig at tbe
pier and tossing up sUvcts of spray.
Selh told Ills story.
He was young and handsome nnd
adept, and be pleaded Ills case well-
so well that he and Lisa in tbe white
radiance of a big moon aud with tlie
Shimmer of water about tbem exchanged vows, convinced Unit each
was Intended for tbe other. That was
the way life looked that night, but. of
course, it would be the same a year
hence when Lisa should be eighteen
and the engagement made public,
Then Seth. fresh from a law school.
established himself In New York.
There was no tiresome, weary wait
Ing for clients. From tin* very tlrst
luck held bis hand, aud business troubles, growling like hyenas at the doors
of even older men, from him stood
aloof.
Besides, he had full measure of
amusements and pleasure. Friends he
made everywhere. Ills hearty laugh
and genial disposition kept him In demand.
Life was so satisfactory and success
so easy that he was already well spoiled before he met Laura Norton, who
was Lisa's exact opposite. Before he
knew it he hnd forgotten his pledge to
Lisa and wns formally engaged to
Laura, the engagement being speedily
followed by marriage.
For awhile there were hours of
gloom wheu be stood truly aghast at
what he bad done. In every conceivable light and with all honesty he argued ihe mailer, convincing himself
Anally that be had nothing to regret.
Lisa was young and susceptible, I'rob-
ably she was already consoled.
fn any case a man's mnturer Judgment was to lie respected, no matter
at what cost And, too. he greatly admired his wife, tier ensy adaptability,
her cleverness, her accomplishments,
Besides,   they    were   congenial.     Her
Not   Entirely  Undisputed.
The case before the court was one
Involving the ownership of a tract of
land, aud the attorney for one of tbe
parties to the suit was cross examining a witness. "Now. Mr Grimshaw."
be said, "tbe property on which you
live was originally a |art of the twenty acres In dispute, was It not?"
"Yes, sir."
"And your title is based on the original title to thnt land, I presume?"
"Yes, sir."
"How long have you resided there?"
"Over twenty-one years."
"Have you hnd—now\ mark me—
have yon had twenty-one years' undisputed possession of that property?"
The witness hesitated a moment.
"Remember, .Mr. Grimshaw," said
the lawyer, raising bis voice, "tbat you
are under oath. Have ynu had twenty-
one years' undisputed possession of
that property?"
"ft bas been disputed once, and only
once." auswered the witness. "1 found
a nest nf bumblebees In my back yard
->ne day last summer."
In the general laugh that followed
this answer the lawyer subsided.—
Youth's Companion.
Freaks of Figures.
Some person of a mathematical turn
of mind has discovered that tbe multiplication of (WTilol.'iL'l (which, you
will observe, are simply tbe figures 1
to !), Inclusive, reversed) by 45 gives
44,44-1,4-1-1,445. Reversing the order of
the digits and multiplying 123450789
by 4,"> we get a result equally curious
-viz, 6,550,505,505. If we take 12345-
078!) as tbe multiplicand and, Interchanging the figures in 45 so as to
make tbem rend 54, use the Inst number as a multiplier tbe result will be
0.000.000,000. Returning to the multiplicand QS7C54321 aud taking 54 as tbe
multiplier again, the result will be 53,-
333.333,334. all threes except tbe tlrst
nud last figures, which together read 54.
the multiplier. Taking the same multiplicand and 27, the half of 54. as tbe
multiplier, tbe product is 2(i.t'W.in;t'.-
007, all 0°s except the first nnd last
figures, which together read 27, tbe
multiplier. Now interchanging tbe order of the figures 27 and using 72 Instead as a multiplier and US7II54321 as
the multiplicand we get as a product
71,111,111.112, nil ones except the first
nnd last figures, whlcb together read
72, the multiplier.
Pilkerton  Won the Race.
At one nf Ibe regattas nf Ihe National Association of American Oarsmen during Ibe early nineties James
I'llkerion. for many years tbe chain-
plon sculler of America, was matched
to row double against another team.
He and bis male were tbe champions,
and Ihe general belief wns tbat they
would win without effort. But the
night before tbe regatta public opinion
suddenly and mysteriously changed.
Mr. I'llkerion knew that this was not
caused by any new development of
strength In bis opponent or any loss of
■kill on bis own part. After making
some quiet Inquiries he discovered tbat
there was talk nf bis rowing mate having been bought up by tbe other side
and of an arrangement to throw tbe
race.
He didn't say anything about bis suspicions, but wben the two men were
seated lu ibe shell and were well out
Into the deep water be leaned over to
his male and said:
"Look here, you blooming cutthroat!
You've got to swim, drown or win tbls
race!   You know me!" He woo.
Island  Colony   Has Some  Wonderful
Agricultural   River Valleys.
Newfoundland is a big country, a
third larger than Ireland and twenty-
one times the size of Prince Edward
Island, and when one considers the
smullness of the population — only
about 225.000, and nearly all fishermen — the returns from agriculture
are considerable, says Edwin Smith,
in the July Canadian Magazine. Over
a million and a half dollars' worth
of farm produce is raised annually
on a traction of cultivated land,
which benis no appreciable relation
whatever to its tributary soil uncultivated as yet. but which can and will
be cultivated in the years to come.
Instead of importing $000,000 worth of
farm produce each year from Canada
Newfoundland ought to aim at raising it ut home, and the present depression will not be without some
benefit if it helps the people to see
more clearly the logic and the wisdom of the governor's motto "back to
the land."
During an extended visit to the
colony last summer, the writer saw
enough to convince him that, although'
Newfoundland does not compare witli
England or Manitoba as an agricultural country, it has nevertneleys
large tracts of the very finest farming lands, in its many river valleys
and by the margins of its innumerable lakes. In thi Humber Valley
there is an interval twelve mile?
long and six miles wide, with a deep
fertile soil, capable of raising large
crops of hay, vegetables and grain,
and which is still waiting the hand ot
the husbandman. It is the Annapolis
Valley over again, only in scenery
richer and more luxuriant. And whut
is true of the Humber is true to a
greuter extent of the Codroy. Exploits, Terra Nova, Gander, and many
smaller rivers.
| What Happened to a Contemporary
Who Fired Six Shots and Then Quit.
Cause of Rush of Boarder* to the
Royal Hotel.
By   M.  QUAD.
[Copyright,   1909,   by Associated   Literary
Preas.1
JIM SPOKES aud his gun arrived
at Giveadam Gulcb on Wednesday morning last, and before
uoou be bad two ballets in him
and the gun wus nowhere. He will
live, but be will have less hilarity
about blm.
Coming back from Lone Tree Thurs-
duy afternoon we saw the body of a
dead man suspended to a limb near
Llou 11111. We asked fur no explanations. Some one thought he ougbt to
be hung uud hung blm, and - that's all.
Tom Barlow, sheriff of this county,
has got to go. lie let two cowboys
run blm four miles Ihe other day and
never used bis gun once. He says be
I bought tbey were chasing bim on a
wager, but no such excuse will satisfy.
Tbe editor of the Pine Hill Banner
culled us up by telephone tbe otber
day to remark that we we-e a bald-
beaded villain and ought to be lyuch-
ed. Tbe fact that the Kicker bus
5.0*10.000 circulation inaken Brother
Williams feel laid. We bave tried to
love biiu, but be Insists on being offish.
We don't know whether to offer Mr.
William Scott of this (own our sympathies or our congratulations. At nny
rate, bis wife bus run away and lie
never expects to see ber again. She
got to longing for the beer gardens
again and headed for St. Louis.
Workmen began refurnishing the
Hellso Opera House last Monday, and
up to date they have taken from the
walls and celling 2.200 bullets. These
were fired by the admiring and exuberant audiences during tbe winter
season. Our people are a little skittish, but they mean well.
Our esteemed contemporary says in
bis Inst issue tbnt we have sought tn
humiliate blm. He probably refers to
tbe Incident of last week. He had
threatened to shoot us on sight. Meeting bim on Apache avenue, we took
our stand against a  wall fifteen feet
A   Family   Problem,
A noted Toronto educationist tells
this story on himself. He has been
twice married aud has a numerous
family. One morning ut breakfast one
of the girls oi the younger family, who
hud just begun the study of vulgar
fractions, wus unusually silent. She
was engaged in trying to work out in
actual life the axiom that two halves
equal the whole, for presently she
propounded this question:
"Mary is my half-sister. Now if
mother was to die, and father married
again, his children would be my half
sisters and brothers, but would th;y
be any relation to Mary?"
How the educationist would have
unswered this mathematical and sociological question will never be
known, for the five-year-old son settled it in a way thut left no room for
doubt as to the fairness of his solution, or his belief in his father's determination to play the game fairly.
He stopped absorbing oatmeal long
enough to remark:
"No, no. That's not right. It's
Dad'B turn to die next."
How He Got Out ot  It.
"I   finds you,"  said  Brother Dickey
as he entered   tlie  house of the lay
member at the dinner hour—"I say, I
finds you settln' down befo' one er de
biggest   dinners   I   ever   seen,   an'   I
I wants ter ux you, plain an' simple, did
you or did you not come by It honest?"
"Br'er Dickey," replied the lay mem-
J ber, "dis Is one time in my life dat I
■ Is   too   full   for   utterance!"
A  Mushroom  Town.
Three months ago the new town-
site of Stirling, Alia., consisted of the
railroad station and two elevators. To-
duy there ure signs ol lengthy streets
of broad western width, new build
ings, stores, hotels and dwellings ure
fast filling in the landscape. Ten oi
fifteen stores and homes have ahead)
been completed. Most of the newcomers are from Winnipeg and from
Northern Alberta, although there are
a good number of Ontario people already located and several Toronto
and London families who purchased
property in Stirling are now on theii
way west. This fall will see in Stirling one oi the busiest towns in the
west. There will be three elevators
then in working order".
Canadians at Pageant.
At the opening of the Hath pageant
the Duke and Duchess of Connaught
received wilh special cordiality Miss
Brenda Taylor of Bath. N.U., and
Miss Powell of Bath, Ont., who came
to pay homage to tbe uiotber city.
Happy Thought
Miss Askltt—Wheu oue sends a par
eel by express why do they always ask
tbe name and address of tbe sender?
Percy i'luklelgh-Why-er—so they'll
know where to weturn It in case It Is
—er-lost or stolen, doucher kuow.-
Houstou Post.
An Important Correction.
"What o beautiful figure young Mrs.
De Style has! And she has such u
fine carriage too!"
"No, sbe doesn't use o carriage now.
She's bought an automobile."—Baltimore American.
the muzzle of a gun. but it was no
use. Such men must fall by tbe wayside lu western journalism.
A Romance Spoiled.
A Chicago paper says tbat Jim Hellso, who Is ourself, won the Arizona
Kicker on a band at poker. We are
sorry to spoil the romance, but at tbe
time we founded tbe Kicker we didn't
know tbe ace of spades from tbe Jack
of clubs. It was only when we were
absorbed by the west that we began
to draw on a four Hush aud bluff it
out. Poker as played in Arizona Is
not demoralizing. The players constantly think of home aud mother, aud
wben a game breaks up It Is not unusual to see tears hi tbe eyes of several men. We bave had tears In our
own eyes and empty pockets to match.
A new chef arrived at tbe Royal hotel lust week, and his doings are tbe
talk of J be Gulch. He bus made wolf
stew that wns positively entrancing,
and his potples made from coyote and
prairie dog have caused a rush of
boarders to the Royal, He says that
be can serve mule meat in five different ways aud that In throwing uway
owls and wood.hucks and river rats
we huve u I most committed a crime.
We wanted something to come along
to boom the west, and here it is.
STRANGE PEOPLES.
Netting  Unnecessary.
A friend from the north hnd gone to
visit the colonel, who lives in the
swampy Mississippi river bottoms of
Louisiana. There wns no mosquito
netting over the bed. und lu tbe morning when the negro came with the water nud towels the tortured visitor nsk
ed: "Sum, why is it that you bave no
mosquito netting over tbe bed? Doesn't
the colonel have nny In his room?"
"No. sub," replied Sum.
"I don't see bow he stands It!"
"Well, sub," said Sam, "I reckor it's
Jes' dls way: In de fo' part uv de
night, sub. de colonel's mos' gen'rally
so 'toxieutcd dat be don't pay no 'ten-
tion to de 'skeeters, an' iu de last'
part uv de night, sub, de skeeters is
most' gen'ully so 'toxlcated dat dey
don't pay no 'teutlon to de colonel."—
Everybody's.
Bombay  English.
"Baboo English" makes proverbially diverting reading. Here is a choice
specimen, irom tlie essay oi a native
student in Bombay:
"The horse is a very noble quadruped, but when he is angry he will
not do so. He is ridden on the spinal
cord by the bridle, and sadly the driver places his foots on the stirrup and
divides his lower limbs acros3 the
Baddle, and drives his animal to the
meadow. He has a long mouth and
his head is attached to the trunk by a
long protuberance called the neck. He
has lour legs; two are on the front
side and two are afterward. These
are the weapons on which he runs and
also defends himself by extending
those in the rear in a parallel direction toward his foe; but this he does
only when he is in a vexatious mood.
His' fooding is generally grasses and
grains. He is also useful to take on
his back a mnn or woman, as well as
some cargo. He hns power to run as
fast as he could. He has got no sleep
at nighttime, and always standing
awaken. Also there are horses of
shoiit sizes There is no animal like
the horse; no sooner they see their
guardian or master they always crying
for fooding, but it is always at the
morning time. They have got tail,
but not so long as the cow and other
such like similar animals."
"BADE HIM PLUG AWAY."
oCT and bade blm plug away. He fired
six shots and then quit. The nearest
bullet-did not come within a foot of
us. Ob. no-we did uot set out to
humiliate blm. We simply wanted to
give blui a fuir sbow.
Since our Incumbency as postmaster
we bave bought ut our owu expense
and set up In tbe postoffice corridor no
less than three public clocks.    These
bave been shot to pieces by hilarious
Individuals.     Tomorrow   our   fourth
clock will be hung to tbe uulH and we I
give notice right  bere and uow tbat I
the man who can shoot nt it and not '
get shot ut in return has our permls-
sion to bang away.   We shan't aim to
kill blm, but to compel bim to take life
more seriously.
We received notice last Tuesday |
morning that Barnes & Fletcher, tbe
firm of shyster lawyers, bad five libel
suits ready to file against us. We
buckled on a gun und called upon tbe
firm, aud within ten minutes tbe pullers had been torn up. How tbose
eastern editors let such things bother
'em. when they are so easily disposed
of iu the bud, we can't make out
New Tariff Schedule.
In reply to an eastern subscriber we
would suy that tbe new tariff schedule
neither helps nor hurts Glveadnin
Gulch. With sixty-four saloons running night uud day and wolf steak to
be had at 5 ceuts a pound, tbls town
feels quite Independent of tbe rest of
the United States.
Mr. Hank Roblin, wbo looked upon
himself as a general remover of obnoxious persons and wbo listed us un-
der that bend, arrived In town three
days ngo to remove us. ne hud con*.*
200 miles to do It, and luck should
have smiled on blm. Sbe didn't, however. We happened to be facing the
door nf our sanctum wben Hunk entered, aud we put a bullet through bis
rlgui arm as ne urew. w ueii he had
been bandaged up by tbe doctor wti
hud u tulk wltb bim uud fouud birr
quite entertaining. He cheerfully ad
mltted thut he had made a mistake r>
gardlng us and graciously uccorded us
permission to live ou.
Tlie Gruss Valley Tribune suspended
publication with last week's Issue, in
his valedictory the editor says that be
can't stand the strenuous life of tbe
west, but lougs for the pence and har-
mouy uf a chicken farm In Indiana.
We spent half a day wltb bim when
be first arrived trying to muke blm
see the difference between tbe butt and
Interrupting Mr. Grantham.
One of the most amusing of Sir W.
Grantham's experiences occurred
when he was engaged as a political
speaker in the days before lie took
his place on the bench, and when he
was plain Mr. Grantham. On one occasion, while he was delivering an
address, a man got up in the audience and shouted out excitedly, "U'b
a lie!" "Thanks," said the future
judge. "It's a lie!" shouted the excited one again. 'You're a gentleman," said Mr. Grantham, sarcastically. "It's a lie!" burst out his opponent again, carried away by his
wrath; but the general laughter which
arose at his answer recalled him to
himself again, and he sat down discomfited.
Success In the Army.
8ir Redvers Duller is said to have
replied to a lady, who asked by what
means he had succeeded in reaching his high position in the service.
"I inherited £10,000 a year." "This
answer," says Lieut.-Colonel Pollock,
who, in addition to much active service, has written a number of bodks
on military subjects, and who for the
last eleven years has been editor of
The United Service Magazine, "if ever
made, was not, of course, intended to
be accepted quite literally; yet it is
oertain that a handsome income is
an immense assistance. A man must
first become known before he can t>*
appreciated, and the larger his income
the more easy <t is for him to mi?
freely with a circle of acquaintances."
A Warning.
Tbe Slugger—A u' see bere; you don't
wauler be goin' around bruggin' dat it
was uie wot soaked you. see!
IVenizens of Darkest Africa Described
For Geographers.
Major H. G. T. Bright, C.M.G., gave
an interesting account of survey and
exploration in the Ruwenzori and
Lake region, Central Atrica, before
Uie Royal Geographical Society. The
oountry dtseribed is in the neighborhood of the western border of the
Uganda Protectorate and the Ccngo
State. Mai. Bright gave some interesting details regaidiug the natives ot
the country through which the expedition passed. The people of Bavira
were noticeable for their women wearing a particularly disfiguring ornament in their upper lips—an enbel-
lished wooden disc, from 2 1-2 to 3
inches in diameter. These tribes bartered theii food for beads and cloth,
much preferring the latter, though
they were but scantily clothed. The
mules wore a pice;* of cloth carried between the legs, with its ends tucked,
both in front and b lurid, through a
belt of hide or rop*. and for ornu-
ments ivcry and wooden bracelets.
With the women a bunch of weeds
worn behind was all thut wns considered necessary, though their necks
were encircled with many strings ol
different-colored beads. The young
men and women dressed their hair
with u mixture ol light clay.
A finer und a darker nice—the Len-
du—wa» warlike and continually fighting amongst themselves or with anyone else they thought themselves
strong enough to overcome. They
were treacherous und would go to hI-
most uny extrein 's in their anxiety
to obtain arms and ammunition. The
district between the Congolese stations, Kusindi and Beni. Maj. Bright
reported, was an ideal elephant country, and was tenanted by some large
herds. The Etuli forest and the
wooded slopes of Ruwenzori formed
veritable strongholds for elephant,
while in tne Toro Game Reserve devastated plantations and spoor testified to the numbers still living in and
around the protected country, in
the open country on the southern
shor.-i of Lake Albert, when the
plains are marshy, elephant and
buffalo roam over them. In the kingdom of Ankoli the population could
be roughly classified as the Bahima,
the aristocracy, and the Baero, the
cultivators and serfB. The Bahima
believed vaguely in an all-powerful
Deity, who was associated mainly
with rain, thunder, and other weather
phenomena. They endeavored to propitiate various devils—most of whom
were connected with the prevalent
diseases—by erecting joss-houses, in
which food and beer were placed.
They invariably carried round the
neck wooden charms or Bmall goats
horns, which had been invested with
magical power by the medicine men,
and usually wore wire bracelets and
anklets. The Bahima were a purely
pastoral people. All lorms of agriculture were held in contempt, and were
relegated to their Baero servants.
The Baamba people living in the
forest near the Etuli river were addicted to cannibalism of a particularly loathsome form. Families exchanged their young children, who were
then eaten. The Baamba in many
cases filed their teeth, but this practice was not quite general. They
were a jovial people. A constant warfare went on between village and village. They are built on the top oi
a ridge, and a stout wooden stockade
is erected round. Eucli village had a
club-house, furnished with a few
rough three-legged chairs, made of the
forked boughs of a tree, on which
the members lie: the men gathered
there to tulk and smoke.
Wifely Pride.
There is no telling what quaint
turns wifely pride and devotion may
take. Sir Melvill Beachcroft, whose
work in connection with the London
County Council is well-known, while
waiting in a tenement house for the
occupant of the first floor to admit
him, chanced to overhear two women
conversing on the stairs.
One remarked that her husband always wore a clean shirt every Sunday
morning.
"Well, now," responded the other,
"I never cares ab.*T.t Sundays, but I
allays do see that 'e 'as a clean shirt
Saturday afternoons, 'cos that's the
time 'e' is generally drinking, and
when 'e do;s take 'is coat off to fight
I do like to know 'e looks ni>:e and
clean.—M.A.P.
Easily Identified.
One of the peculiarities of Viscount
Goschen is to pay surprise visits to
the branches of the bank which he
helps to control. Not long ago lie
entered a country branch and asked
the clerk in charge to cash a cheque
drawn by a friend, adding that both
himself and friend were customers of
the bank. When the clerk complied,
Mr. Goschen, as he was then, read
him a severe lesson on cashing
cheques for strangers. "How do you
know I came by the cheque honestly?" he asked. "I don't know," said
the clerk; "but if anything went
wrong your father would indemnify
the bank against loss, and I always
like to oblige a director." The SBid
director had thought he was unknown.
Variety Artistei Salaries.
Exactly who is the highest-paid
variety artiste next to Harry Lauder,
who received close upon $4,000 a week
while touring America, it is not easy
to say. Miss Ada Reeve and Miss
Vesta Tilley, however, must bo very
near the top. A recent law case revealed the fact that the former is accustomed to obtain engagements at
11.500 a week, while Miss Vesta
Tilley's "turn" is placed at an even
greater value. There are quite a
number of variety artistes—Mr. Geo.
Robey, "Little Tich," and Miss Marie
Lloyd included—whose salaries range
from $500 to $750 and more per week.
Queer Claret.
A party of miners calling at an Inn
in Llangollen during the absence of
the landlord were shown into the best
room which, on his return, caused
him to remonstrate. His wife, however, explained tbat a lot of money
had been spent, und that seven bottles of claret had already been drunk.
"Claret!" said he. "Why, I sold the
last bottle the other day; you've been
giving 'err outsup."
A QUEENSLAND STATION
LADY    ARBUTHNOT    DESCRIBES
LIFE  IN" AUSTRALIA.
The "Dip" Is an Indispensable Feature'of Every Cattle Farm in the
Antipodes, Where Animals Are Tortured by Ticks—Bush Has a Remarkable Stillness at Night—The
Cry of the Dingoes.
In a recent article in The Standard
of Empire, Lady Arbuthnot gives some
sketches of life in the Queensland
bush, in Australia. While describing
the road one has to traverse, she
says:
We traversed a "lane" or narrol
strip of grass between fences, witli
movable rails, where cattle are enclosed. In some places Government
has reserved and fenced in a strip of
land between two properties as a public "lane,    where any man driving a
Elevator Etiquette.
"Do you think a man ought to take
off bis hat In an elevator when there
are ladles present?"
"Not If he is prematurely bald and
the ladies ur»youug."-llouston Post.
Small Collections.
Pony I'luk-Don't you know I have
a deuce of a time collecting my
thoughts?
Kitty Kldder-Graclous, Pcrcyl Then
why don't yon hire a collector?—St
Louis Itepublic.
Entirely Different.
"What!    Spend  $100 on  a  batblng
suit?"
"Now,   hubby,  tbis  isn't  a  bathing
suit.   This Is a bench costume."—Kan- |
sus City Jourunl.
Quite ■ Problem.
Mrs Gruiuerey - Women shouldn't
be asked to remove tbelr hats In public places.
Gramercy-That's so, my dear, t
don't see where they'd put tbem.—
Judge.
LADY ARBUTHNOT.
mob of cattle may graze them undisturbed for a night. We also saw the
"dip," which 's a necessary accompaniment to all cattle raising.
'"Ticks" and "tick fever" are the
curses of pastoral Queensland, and
great loss of stock occurred till inoou-(|
lation and dipping were invented.
Nowadays all the young stock are inoculated, and old and young alike are!
driven through a narrow pen of'
hurdles and into a "dip" of ovil-'
smelling liquid disinfectant, into
which they plunge right over their
heads, and emerge bellowing and
snorting. This takes place every three
or four weeks, and I was told that the
beasts which had experienced the relief given from ticks or other pests
seemed quite ready each time to undergo the ducking again.
At length we bumped down the last
stony hillside leading to the last
creek, and turned in at a gate which
led up through a paddock to the
house. It was the usual wooden bungalow of up-country Australia, but of
quite unusual age, as it had been
built some forty or fifty years back.
Originally, the roof was composed of
wooden shingles, but recently its owner hnd covered the shingles with iron,
as they so constantly wanted renewing. A scarlet hibiscus filled the end
of one verandah, a well-grown Isabella vine grown on a light trellis
formed the side of another. There
was a grass lawn in front of the house
with some flower beds roughly fenced
in with posts and wire. A vegetable
garden, containing familiar beans and
peas, carrots and onions, and unfamiliar orange nnd lemon, guava and
loquat trees, was Inid out on the bank
above the river. The soil was rich,
dark loam in places, but near the
house the subsoil consisted chiefly of
white pipeclay, and the ground had
to be trenched deeply for roses.
I was struck by the intense stillness
of the bush. Just as the sun disappeared behind a hill the Cicadas
struck up, and crickets and frogs
chirped and cronked in a mnrsh near
the house, but as night settled down
the silence became deeper and deeper.
I was wakened from a sound sleep by
a wailing sound, which seemed taken
up and repeated over and over again.
It wns the cry of the dingoes in the
scrub, the eeriest and most melancholy howl I have ever heard. Later
on I was again roused, this time by
a patter of velvet-shod.feet on the
iron roof above me: faster and faster
they scampered, till suddenly came
the sounds of conflict und a scuffle
on the verandah Opossums and the
mother of three kittens hud come to
blows just outside my glass door.
Even before daylight came the long
whistle of the curlew. The first bird
to greet the dawn was a butcher-bird,
with his delicious flute-and-hurp notes.
Then came crows, whose harsh voices
sounded like the quack of a duck with ,*
a bad cold; laughing jackasses
chuckled, parrots flew noisily over the
tops of the gum-trees, magpie-larks
joined in the bird orchestra, with their
clear notes; dingoes slunk home,
leaving trucks in the sandy creek,
'possums dropped oranges from which
they had neatly scooped out all the
juicy contents, and another Bush day
had begun."
Pianist Who Dislikes Applause,
M. Leopold Godowsky, who has
lately been delighting Londoners by
his pianoforte playing, is (Jenerully
considered to be the greatest living
master of technique. This view Is
held by his eccentric colleague, M;
Pachmann, who also says: "Godow*.
sky is the most modest of great musicians. I, myself am the most Immodest." M. Godowsky objects to
hand-clapping at concerts, which he
thinks spoils the effect of a fine piece,*
and would prefer that good music be
received, in silence. He has a charming little daughter, of whom the following amusing story has been told:
Once she was asked by her mother
why she was packing up her toys so
rarefully. "I am going to save them
for my children," answered the child.
"But suppose you should never have
any children?" said M. GodowBky.
"Oh, then I shall give them to uajr
pandchildren," was the reply.
An Infliction.
"Tour tickets were complimentary,
were tbey not?"
"Well." replied the mnn who bad
seen a painfully amateur entertainment, "I thought they were until I
saw tbe show."-London Tlt-Blta.
Contradicted.
The play was dull from start to end,
and the author thus addressed a
friend: "If 'twas not a bit. 'twas a
miss, for 1 didn't bear n single hiss."
••True." said bis friend, "but In sucb
weather no mun can hiss uijd gape together."-Detroit Free Press.'" Hie Hosmer Times
■  a-ea*. >      i—* i -—   ■ _..        _ . ,_.■_...__,_
SUBSCRIPTION RATES
OaveTeear One Delist in Advance
BlBfto Copies five Cent* Each
Published every Thursday morning rat Boomer,
British Columbia*
THURSDAY, MARCH 3,1910
Time Tables.
C. P. B. TIME TABLE
Arrive Hosmer
No.213\Vest 9.44
No. 214 East 18.15
No. 236 Local East 9.27
No. 235 Local West 19.18
No. 7 West Flyer 10. 22
No. 8 East Flyer 20.30
Change took effect Sunday Oct. 31
G. N. TIME TABLE
No, 251 leaves Michel     10:10 a. in.
Arrives at Hosmer...   10;40 a. m.
No. 252 leaves Rexford..     4:15 p. m.
Arrives at Hosmer ..     7:13 p. in.
G. B. Shepherd, Agent.
THE   TIMES,   HOSMER,   BRITISH   COLUMBIA.
If there is a chance to boom
bimiiieHK, boom it. Dou't put on
a long face and look as though
you had a stomachuche. Hold
up your head, smile and look
for better things. Hide your
little hammer, and try to speak
well of others, no matter how
small you may know yourself
to be.
C. P. R. SPEND MILLIONS
A superstitious subscriber,
who found a spider in his paper,
wants to know if it is considered a bad omen. Nothing of the
kind. The spider was just looking over the colums of the
paper to see what merchants
were not advertising so that
it could spin its web across his
store door, and be free from
disturbance.
Talk about the advantages
of your town instead of trying
to figuring up the disadvantages.
Speak of the bright side of
your business in place of the
imaginary dull side. There is
nothing goes without being
propelled. You injure yourself,
your business and your town
by getting into the dumps.
When your liver is out of order
go to the woods or some other
hiding place until you are
better. The world looks blue
to a man with a bad digestion.
Cure yourself first and then
everything else will appear all
right.
Many good people are in a
state of nervousness lest a
collision with the tail of
Halley's comet should cause
untold disaster, and columns of
twaddle have been published
as to the possible results of
such an accident. Sir Robert
Ball probably knows more
about comets than tiny man
living and his reassuring statement published in the London
Times cannot be given too wide
publicity. He says: "A rhino-
cerous in full charge would not
fear collision with a cobweb,
and the earth need not fear
collision with a comet. In 1801
we passed through the tail of
a comet. No one knew anything about it at the time.
For a hundred million years
life has been continuous on this
earth, though we have been
visited by at least five comets
every year. If comets could
ever have done the earth any
harm they would have done it
long ago and you and I would
not be discussing comets or
anything else. As far as I can
learn, we may be in the tail of
Halley's comet about May 12th.
I sincerely hope we shall, and I
think Sir John Herchel says
somewhere that a whole comet
could bo squeezed into a portmanteau."—Nelson News.
Jefferies-Johnson Fight
The 45-round championship
battle on July 4 between James
J. Jefferies and Jack Johnson
for a purse of $101*,000 will be
fought in San Francisco. This
announcement was made last
week following a conference
between Tex Reckard, Eddie
Graney, Supervisor John L.
Herget, Sam Fitzpatrick and
Jim Griffin.
The fight will take place before the Broadway Athletic
club, of which Griffin is the
manager, and which was organized only a few weeks ago,
after the union labor administration took office. The fact
that this club is to be granted
the fight permit for July by
the board of supervisors caused
Bickard and Gleason to come
to an understanding with Griffin.
Standard 85 lb. Steel Will be Laid on
the Crow Line This Year
According to a statement
given out at Calgary by General Superintendent Price and
Engineer Brooks, of the western division of the C. P. R., the
company will spend upwards of
$4,000,000 in the province of
Alberta during the present
year, exclusive of new lines, on
extensions, revision of grades,
and the high level bridge between Edmonton and Strathcona. The money will be expended in the building of new
stations, roundhouses, freight
sheds, machine shops, improving of old roadbeds, etc., and
general improvement works.
In Calgary alone there will
be about $633,000 spent. Among
the improvements announced
for this centre is the addition
of a wing to the new station
building at a cost of $80,000. A
now machine shop will be constructed at a cost of about $20,-
000. A freight car repair shop
will also be provided for. Plans
are prepared for a new freight
yard east of the Elbow, with a
24 stall roundhouse adjacent.
A coaling plant, new water
service and sand tower are also
included in the programme.
Plans are in readiness for an
additional freight shed for the
handling of all outgoing freight.
It will be about 600 feet in
length.
As soon as the weather permits, work will be commenced
on the double tracking of the
line between Calgary station
and Calgary Junction. A double
track on this section is required
to facilitate the handling of
traffic, which has developed
wonderfully, and now demands
more track room.
Throughout the province and
the entire western division,
which extends between Broadview Areola, North Portal, Field
and Kootenay Landing, there
will be $0,000,000 spent during
the year. Added to this will
be whatever may be spent by
the construction department of
the road in building new lines
and extending old ones. It is
planned to build a new station
at Regina, and perhaps at
Moose Jaw, at each of the
above places there will be $233-
003 spent on such works as new
railway yards, newf reightsheds,
etc. In fact, large sums will be
spent in nearly every terminal
throughout the division. An
important feature of the programme is to be the eomplete-
tion of the laying of new 85-
pound steel alou^ the C. & E.
line from Calgary southward
to Mi-leod and also northward
as far as Edmonton. Altogether there will be about one quarter of a million of dollars spent
on new steel and ballast for
these lines.
A gravity water line will be
put in between Swift Current
and Medicine Hit at a cost of
about $117,030. Bossano is to
have an engine house, Banff
will have a new station costing
$30,000 and Laggan will be improved. At Coleridge a roundhouse with six stalls will ba
constructed. The steel between
Crow's Nest station and Cranbrook also betwean Cranbro >k
and Sirdar will be increased to
the C. P. R. standard 85 pound
rail. This work will cost approximately $200,000. Terminal
facilities at Weyburn and Swift
Current will be improved.
About $50,033 has baen set
aside for work at Medicine Hat.
This will provide for, among
other things, a machine shop.
Red Deer is to get a $20,003
brick station.
All along the lines of the
western division at various
points there will be upwards of
25 section houses constructed
for the section men to be used
as residences. In all 15 to 20
stations will be constructed at
different points.
Robert Meikle Concert Co.
Robert Meikle, the eminent
baritone, assisted by a concert
company including Frank
Lloyd, singing comedian; Miss
Juanita Badgloy, dramatic
reader and Miss Nellie Malcolm,
solo pianiste, will appear under
the auspices of the Hosmer
Orchestra, Friday, March Hth.
Reserved seats on sale at
Campbell's
School Report for fthrmrj
The monthly report of the
Hosmer public  school   is   as
follows:
D»ys Present
IV
Lawrence Wildman 15
Charles Marlatt 19 1-2
Eugene Quinn 20
George Bolduc 1-2
Edward Kennedy 0
Laughlin Kennedy 18
Grace Miller 4
III
Annie McDonald...' 18 1-2
Harold Wildman 0
Harold Henderson 10 1-2
Geo. Patterson 17 1-2
Saxon Kearney 19
Sarah Spencer 18 1-2
Herbert Robson 19 1-2
Stewart Fletcher 14
Thos Miller 19
II
Max McDougall 11-2
Lent Spencer 20*
Mary Henderson 20*
Lillian Cameron 0
Alberta Quinn 19 1-2
Jenny Mattieau 6
Rose McDougall 20*
Archie Courtney 18
Dave Miller 20*
Mike Maiello 4
James Millar 20*
Mary Millar 20*
I
Maud Bolduc. 10 1-2
Pearl Swanton 20
Andy Kennedy  .18 1-2
Margaret McDonald 20
Doreen Kearney .20*
Joseph Tortoralli 10
Finley Patterson 19 1-2
Powell Courtney 181-2
Lizzie McDougall 51-2
Nicky Maiello 181-2
Earnest Beeby 13 1-2
Wilfred Beeby 171-2
Sr. First Primer.
Jack Musgrove 16
Willie Spencer 20*
Rob. Henderson 0
Jacky Cameron 0
Dan McMicken 7
Lenard Ayre 18
Annie Poudelecek 18
Arthur Davis 18 1-2
Anne Hodock 17
Julia Hodock 17
John Hodock 191-2
Christina Krish 19
Cora De Laurier 18
Sedonia Poudelecek 18
Jr. First Primer.
Bohus Palecek 19
Elsie Robson 15 1-2
Blanch Labelle 19 1-2
Florence Miller 191-2
Mike Gushook 8
Jas. McDonald 15
Laddie Krish  181-2
Chas. McDougall 0
Pearl Courtney 18 1-2
Ralph Tortoralli 16 1-2
Winnifred Smith 17 1-2
Fred De Laurier 61-2
Leslie Brown 0
Jas. Bennett 0
Geo. Hodock 20
Jas. Miller 20
July Cabara 0
Joseph Cabara 0
Louis Sah ageo 0
Annie Kear 0
The 8 scholars with stars opposite their names were present
every day and not late.
A. A. Davis, Principal.
Will Not Affiliate With Congre?*:
The convention of the U. M.
W. of A. in session at Lethbridge, decided that the district
do not affiliate with the Trades
and Labor Congress of Canada
as had been suggested at the
opening of the convention.
A motion was carried that
the officers be stationed in sub-
districts throughout the district and a committee was appointed to draft the territories
where each should be stationed.
It was decided that a levy of
fifty cents per month be levied
on the members of the district
to be used a s a fund in case of
a strike at Frank or other
places where agreements aro
pending.
NOTICE
Hereafter the Hosmer opera
house will bo operated under
the management of the owner,
Phillip Carosella. For shows,
concerts, etc., apply to my store
in Hosmer or at the Roma
Hotel, Fernie.
Phillip Carosella.
Feb. 2,1910.
To Advertisers
Please send in your changes
of ads. no later than Tuesday
night if you wish to be sure of
securing a change during the
current week.
Snaps
Coal Heaters
$7.95
Wood Heaters
FROM
$2.00
UP
Don't Miss This
Opportunity
Bennett
Brothers
HARDWARE AND
FURNITURE
Near C. P. R. Depot     Hosmer, B. C.
C H. DUNBAR
Barrister
Solicitor
Uetl Notary Public
HOSMER       - -        B.C.
C. F. Lawe Alex 1. FisnEn. B. A.
LAWE & FISHER
.Banisters, Solicitors, Etc
FERNIE B. C
PEOPLE'S CLOTHING STORE
Pn. ADELBF.RO I. ZISF.I.MAN. Men.
Clothing, Gent's Furnishings, Boots
and Shoes, Jewelry and Watches
Drcse Swell You Might ;.s well
HOSMER, B. C,
THE   HOSMER    DAIRY
G. M. HEOLEY, Prop.
Fresh Milk and Cream delivered to all parts of the town.
HOSMER, B. C.
-THE-
B. M. & W. A. WHIDDINGT0N
ARCHITECTS
McmlxTP ot
Alburta Aeeejociatlou of Architect*
IK HOSMKll EVERY TUESDAY
FERNIE, B. C.
Bath Rooms
Up-to-date.    You
are all welcome at
Pete's Barber Shop
Front St., Hosmer
H. L. HcKINNON
•General Blacksmith
and   Horseshoer
All Kinds of Carriage and
Wagon Repairing done on
Short Notice.
MAIN ST., HOSMER, B.C.
Kootenay Restaurant
M. D. HONG, Prop.
MEALS 25 CTS. AND UP
Short Orders a Specialty
Board at reasonable rates
A trial solicited
FRONT ST.       HOSMER, B. C.
He Never
Had Your
Chance
In this man's clay ihere was
little chance for the chap who
started out in life as a workman with no special' training.
lie was foredoomed to work
ior small wages until finally
disqualified by old age. With
YOU it is different. If you are
not getting ahead as fast as you
should in your chosen occupation, the I. C. S. will help you.
A record of over 111 years of
remarkable success in training
thousands of ambitious wage
earners for better positions and
increased earnings enables us
to state positively that we can
help you, no matter how scant
your time, money, or education
mny be. Don't neglect any
possible chances for advancement. Send this coupon HOW.
-FOR-
Millinery
Fancy Goods
Children's Wear
Dry Goods
—SEE—   ■
MRS. McMEEKIN
Dressmaking in Connection
Main Street Hosmer, B. C.
**************************
* *>
| Mrs. Louisa Pitblado
£ HAS OPEXED
t     A Ladies' and
i
t Children's Emporium
i      and will carry a full line of
* Ladies' and
% Childrens' Underwear,
«    Waists and Fancy
* Goods of Every       ,
J Description J
* Royal Hotel Block Hosmer |
**************************
I    INTERilnTIOrlU CORRESPONDENCE SCHOOLS
Box 799. SCRANTON. PA.
Or their local Representative
J. W. BENNETT
P.   0. BOX 93
FERNIE.   -   B.C.
Visits Hosmer Every Month
66 YEARS'
RICNCC
Trade Marks
Designs
Copyrights etc.
AnyoM landing a nicest rh and dencrlptloTi may
nlceclr aacartaln. our 0|(llll0D froawhether an
HANDBOOK
Sancy for aecurtnirjxue   -
roueih  Muiin * Co. reedta
lucrantlnn in prohal
UonnntrioUyeonr-*
nant free, olclcsnt
tlonnatrieUycoiindeiitL 	
  fancy for aecunnex
bly imlentabla.  Communleft.
Iw'tW. HANDBOOK on I'nlemla
npcclal notlcn, without cheercc tn the
Scientific Jlinerican.
A handJomelT lllroetimtM weeXly. lamrfnt circulation of any uionlltlo 'ournal. Tarum for
Canada, la.7S & year, pontage prepaid. Hold by
all newndwlcrn.
(^Q8eiBrMfc«».llu„ ,
fllce, SB F BU Wanhlnnton, D.
-THE-
East Kootenay
Telepi3»3 Co.
Long distance wire
is now ready for
use  by the public
Office: Royal Hotel
HOSMER, B. C.
'kitirlrliirkirtoiciiititii'iiitititit^'to'kititiilt
CITY |
Meat Market I
Best line of Steaks, J
Chops, Roasts, Sausage, *
Bacon, Butter, Eggs, *
Lard, Etc. in Hosmer. I
Come in and see the new |
market. ?
NOT   IN   THE   TRUST $
GABARA BROS., Props *
j    Front St., near Queen's Hotel    J
itititlrkiticltirklcltitir&icitii&frto** *■#*
Hosmer Hospital
Accommodation for
Maternity Cases
For rates, etc.
apply to
THE NATRON
HOSMER, B. C.
P. CAROSELLA
DEALER  IN
Cigars
Tobaccos
Groceries
Gent's Furnishings
General Merchandise
Smoked and Cured Meats
Opera House Block
HOSMER      ■     -      B.C.
*************   *
*   Men's Spring   *
jSHOESj
* HAVE ARRIVED    *
* *
* They are bound to please ^
* you.     We guarantee you *
* comfortable   and   stylish *
* foot service. ♦
$3.50
#       '$4.00, $L50 and $5.00       #
JAiello & Bossio*
* .Main St., Hosmer *
* . .      *
#.     U*T"Fme shoe repairing ^
* done here. „
*************   *
IS Elk Valley Development Co.
LIMITED
Owners of HOSMER TOWNSITE
A number of
very desirable
Lots for Sale
CREE & MOFFATT
Towosite Agents Fernie, B. C.
The Hosmer Mines, Ltd.
HOSMER, B. C.
MINERS AND SHIPPERS
Hosmer Steam Coal
and Coke
GENERAL OFFICE. MIXES AND (JOKE OVENS
LOCATED AT HOSMER, 15. C.
Lewis Stock ett,
General Manager
D. G. Wilson,
Superintendent
ELK LUMBER CO., Ltd.
Manufacturers and Dealers in all kinds of
Rough und Dressed
Lumber, Sash,
Doors, Windows,
Mouldings, Etc.
CHAS. H. BOMFORD, Manager Hosmer Yards
5BSSSBSSF1
Beer
Beverage of Quality
Manufactured from Canadian Malt, Bohemian
Hops and the famous Crystal Spring Water
Elk Valley Brewing Co., Limited
CRYSTAL SPRINGS, B.C, (Via Michel) THE    TIMES,     HOSMER.    BRITISH    COLUMBIA.
TALES BH TRIP,
The Dilapidated Gentleman and
His Many Experiences.
HISTORY REPEATED ITSELF.
How a Justice of the Peace Got What
Was Coming to Him For Making a
False Arrest — A Michigan Murder
Mystery.
By   M.   QUAD.
(Copyright,   1*9,   by  Associated   Literary
Press. J
THE dilapidated geutlcninn was
sitting on a park bench in the
sunshine and enjoying his
pipe with great gusto, aud as
tne interviewer approached he was
greeted with:
•I'm licit much on old sayings, but
1 wish to remark that history repeats
Itself."
"Just how In this case?"
"Seven or eight years ago, as I wns
taking a saunter over the great state
ot Ohio and was approaching loungs
town. I was nabbed by a constable,
rushed before a J. I', and sent to jail
for three months as a vag. 1 had
129 lu my pocket, bad been at work
feir a fanner for weeks and was a vag
In no sense of the term.    1 asked for
"FOI!   AN   IIOIH   1   HADE   HER TASTE THE
BllTlillNESS OF DEATH."
a lawyer to defend me. but was refused. While 1 dug my way out of
the old jail within a week. I've always
wanted to get even with that J. I'.
After getting out 1 wrote him a letter
that 1 would get even."
"Well?"
"Well. I've got even at last. Half
an hour ago the worst looking ( d
bum I've seen in three years came
along here aud struck me for a ulck.
We fell to talking, und hang me It be
didn't turn out to be that same old
J. 1'.: Lost his wife, lost his home
and all else and has come down to
tramping. Say, 1 got up. turned blm
around and gave hltu the boot six
times, aud uow I feel that the matter
Is off my mind. Or. I'arkhurst would
Bay that 1 ought to have taken him to
my bosom aud forgiven and sent hliu
back to Ohio with a necklace of
pearls, but I'm uot doing business on
that corner.
"1 wus telling you one time," continued the dilapidated, "aiv,«t tbe absorbing interest farmers take In murders and robberies. It is because tbey
seldom meet up with anything of the
kind personally. 1 have stayed at
farmhouses where such a Ihlng as a
robbery bad not been known in fifty
years. I told you at the same time
tbat ihe general idea of a tramp is
thnf £e must have been a pretty
wicked fellow at some time in his life.
if he don't owu up that he was aud
state that he has reformed he's considered as only half a tramp.
"Five years ago this summer 1 was
touring Michigan. There's a town up
in (be northern part of the state
named Bad Ax. I'erhups there's a
Good Ax, around there somewhere to
match t. but I can't say. Five miles
from the town I struck a farmer who
offered me a certain sum and board to
grub out some stumps. I went nt It.
Alter supper that night I was asked
enough c|iiestions to prove tbat the
family was curious about me, and I
promised thnt on the next night 1
would relate an experience to make
their hair stand up. That farmer was
a thrifty man. He weut among his
neighbors and repeated my words, and
tlie result was (hat when night came
sixteen outsiders had gathered at his
house, at a charge of 10 cents each, to
bear me tnlk. Old he divvy with the
undersigned'.- Oh. no! lie It new a
good thing when he saw It.
His Marriage to Lovely Girl.
"When ready to talk I begun with
my marriage in a lovely girl and the
happiness that followed for a year.
Then a llciiel Incarnate told her thai
1 loved fourteen other women, and
she eloped »ilh him. I found ber
tracks In ihe mud and ■rowed heaven
that I would never rest until I had
had revenge, for eight long years I
followed the guilty couple, and I was
about to give up hi despair when one
evening I found myself sealed direct
ly behind them at a circus performance. As they ate peanuts and drank
lemonade I tiled to borrow a stiletto
to stab them In the hack. No stiletto
was to be* found.
"When the show wns nut I followed
the couple. They got Into a wagoi,
nnd drove three miles Into the country,
and I followed close behind. I could
have pulled a rail off Ihe fence am!
killed them as they drove, but I had
another plan. At this paint I asked
e "h cine of my audience to take a
solemn oath not to betray my secret
nor take nny steps whatever lu brine
me to justice. Not one refused to lake
Ihe oath. They licked their chops and
were glad to take It. It presaged something more bloody than they had
hoped for.
"Well, ns the story went. I bung
around the farm for a couple of days
and then the wife began making soft
soap. The lye in the big kettle had
been boiling for live hours and mid
night had come when 1 raised a win
dow and crept Into the house. I found
the guilty parties asleep. I nipped
them  on  the  bead   with  a club nnd
•iwnke them. Tben I sat down by the
bedside and gloated over their fears.
On, but I gloated! They wept and
prayed and shivered aud shook, but I
-■at there wltb the look of a demon
on my face. I prolonged I heir misery
for hours, and I had my audience so
wrought up that no one breathed.
"1 could bare battered iii the skulls
of my victims with the club or cut
Kff their heads wltb tbe ax, but such
•i death would have beeD too merciful.
Afler tantalizing tbem to my heart's
content I carried the man out to the
■map kettle and beld him in It, head
downward, until he ceased lo kick
Then came the turn of ber who had
heen my wife. Heavens, bow she
shrieked and prayed, how she ran
around tbe room, bow sbe cried out
to me that the man bad hypnotized
her! I was grim—grim as the death
that must soon be hers. She looked for
lust one flicker of mercy In my eyes
hut she looked In vain. For an hour I
made her taste the bitterness of death,
■mil then I reached out to seize her
and make soft soap of ber, but bean
dlseiise had carried her off. Sbe was
dead.
•"And I'm glad of It!' shouted every
soul In the room as he or she rose up
Robbed  House and Fled.
"Well, there wasn't much more to
tell them. I robbed the bouse and
tied far away and had never even
heeu suspected of the murders. I
asked them to be so kind as to remember their oaths, as I had a strange
prejudice against being hung, and Ihen
let Ihe farmer lock me Into tlie barn
for the night. Next day I was arrested, of course. Every one of them had
gone and given me away. Two constables came and loaded me wltb
chains, nnd 1 was taken to the county
jail, Warrants for murder were sworn
nut and the legal authorities at Pilot
Knob. Mo. communicated with. That's
where I bad laid the scene of the
crime.
"Say. my friend, 1 was in quod six
weeks and during that time 245 people were admitted to gaze upon the
blood stained demon. Ueporters from
three papers Interviewed me. aud I
told them six different yarns. I received and entertained and confessed
to Ave different ministers. No two
confessions were alike. Seven different doctors studied and exnmined me
I wasn't going through with all this
and living like a tramp, you know.
Vou bet I wasn't. 1 bad the bridal
chamber of the Jail, and 1 bad dainties
and bouquets to beat the baud, it
was my harvest, and I made tbe most
of It.
"Of course tbe Missouri officials
were bound to write back after due
Investigation tbat 1 was a liar, and
of course the time came wben I was
turned out of Jail. There was general
indignation that I was not a fiendish
murderer instead of an Innocent man
and some folks hinted at lynching.
Tbe sheriff fairly kicked me out of
tbe Jail, and tbe only friend I had was
the farmer for whom 1 bad started
grubbing stumps. He wus waiting
for me at his gate, aud when I came
along he saluted me with:
" 'Come right In and go to work
ngalu. and I'll make your boar'd free
this time.'
" 'But I thought you'd be down on
me,' I sa Id.
" *I.auds, no! A man that can He
like you can ought to bave $30 a
month and board to do notbing else!
Come In. Come In.' "
DIAMOND HEAD.
VIGO BAY TREASURE.
Superfluous.
"When 1 observe tbe way some
things go In New York, over wblcb
we make a fuss when vre get them."
said tbe itev. Thomas II. Sllcer. "and
think of what we ought to have I am
reminded of tbe poor minister who
bud seven children and whose family
was Increased to eight. He told his
eldest child, a daughter, about the
new baby.
" 'Well, father.' she said. '1 suppose
it Is all right, but there are a lot of
things we needed more.' "—Saturday
Eveulug I'ost.
What She Hoped.
Miss Cayenne—Why, I thought you
were to sail for Europe yesterday.
Callowlt—That wns me—aw-lnten-
tlon.doucher know, but I—aw—changed
me mind at tbe lawst moment.
Miss Cayenne—Glad to hear it, and I
hope you got a better one in tbe exchange.—i'lltsburg i'ost.
Her Weight of Sin.
"Mother. I've a dreadful thing to
confess to you. Last nlgbt when you
told me to lie down In bed I iled
down, hut after you turned out the
gas I grounded my teeth at you io
tbe dark .'"-London I'uncb.
Your Gait.
Don't go such a fearful rate.
Take a Blow an' etlddy gait,
Don't yon thtntc you'd better heewl
Common sense an' check your speed?
Rome warn't  fashioned In a day.
llurry  lobs don't  never stay.
Tske a gait Diet's scire an' sane,
The') keep pushln* on the rein.
Better make tt slow an' sure
Ef >-ou want tl  to endure
Lois o'  tilings ktn hup. Indeed,
When you try to overspeed.
Vou might Hit there enitcker. an'
Then ag'in you mightn't land.
There's a gutt thct's safe an' sane.
Take It, then push on the rein.
Quite Modern.
"What nre you doing?"
"Waiting for my ship to come In."
"You are waiting a long way from
tbe ncean."
"This Is an airship."
Too Good to Keep.
"What nre you promoting?"
"Just n gold mine."
"Any gold In It?"
"Think  I'd  be selling stock in It If
there were?"
Disappointing.
"She is writing an otle to Pan."
"That sounds good.    What pan?"
"Van. tbe god of nature."
"Ob. shucks!    I thought It was the
frying pun."
Economical.
"Why does he now eat breakfast?"
"To get his money's worth."
"Don't understand."
"Boards   at    tbe    hotel.   American
plan."
Youthful Manifestation.
"They   say   he   is   lu  love   with   bis
wife."
"Ob, well, give him time!"
Uncle   Sam's   Great   Voles.,.o   Fortran
In the Pacific Ocean.
Since   England   Instituted   her   vast
and mysterious system of defenses le j
the great rock of Gibraltar the world j
has  witnessed  no project of military
fortification    so    Important    as    tbat
whlcb   bas   been   undertaken   by   tbe :
United  States in the island of Oabu j
of the Hawaiian group. ,
Iu the belief that tbe Pacific ocean |
Is to be tbe theater of the next great j
international struggle for commercial I
and  territorial control,  the American i
government has entered upon a project
which Is destined lo give It au Invincible base and outpost In  midoceun at
Hawaii.    To that end il hus beguu to
forlify   what   is   known   ns   Diamond
head, which Is a vast extinct volcano
In Oabu, un  which Honolulu Is built,
and   when   the   works   are  completed
the place will be justly entitled to be
called "the Gibraltar of the Pacific."
Situated ns It Is at the lower extremity of the Island, wltb Its northern
slope forming pari of the city of Honolulu, says Edward I'. Irwlu In the
World Today. Diamond bead commands the seaward approach from all
directions to Ihe ciiy. and the tire of
lis guns, combined with ihe cross fire
of the Pearl harbor formications seven
miles nway nn the other side of Honolulu. Is sulli le-nt to render the town
safe from attack,
The crater Itself Is comparatively
shallow, being only a couple of hundred feet deep. But the walls are
steep and rugged, and it would be
practically Impossible for a ship at
sea to drop a shell Into the cavity.
This is being taken advantage of to
form n safe shelter for the gunners
who are to man the battery,
The guns themselves, eight 12-lncb
mortars of the newest and most powerful type, are not located lu the crater Itself, but are mounted on the
Lea hi slope, toward Kaluiukl. beblnd
the mountain. Should there be occasion to use them In time of war the
gunners would not see the vessel at.
which tbej were tiling, but would direct their aim according to the telephoned Instructions of ihe range finders stationed at various points on tbe
circumference of Ihe crater's rim.
Such is modern gunnery, a matter of
mathematics rather than of accuracy
of vision. Rut lo such a degree of perfection has Ihe modern science of gun
nery attained that the crews of Ibe
Diamond head battery would be able
to drop on to tbe deck of a battleship
miles distant and completely out of
their rauge of vision a projectile which
would sink the vessel before ever II
had a chance to get close enough to
the Island to use Its own less powerful
guns.
Through the thick rock walls of the
volcano's crater grimy workmen, tinder the direction of United States military engineers, are driving a tunnel
This is to form a passageway to and
from the batteries for the officers and
range finders and, should occasion
ever arise, for the crews of the mortar battery.
The sides of the volcano are very
steep and cannot be scaled except In
a few places where narrow paths lead
np the precipitous heights. A few
riflemen and machine guns could east
ly defend these passes against a force
many times their number.
About the only way the volcanic
fortress could be captured would be
by starving the defenders out. Water
would be the most difficult thing for a
defending force to obtain, but It will
be no Insuperable task to provide a
plentiful supply.
Wben this is finished Hawaii will
have tbe most novel and at tbe same
time one of the strongest fortresses In
the world—a fortllied volcano.
A Simple Trick.
Here Is n magician with a new trick
He takes a duck from under a man's
coat collar. Now, don't say that you
bave seen thnt done a hundred times
It was a rabbit that you saw taken
from under a man's coat collar. This
Is a duck, it was time for a variation
to be introduced lu the rabbit trick. Ii
be Introduced In Ibe rabbit trick. It
Is Just ns easy to do It with a duck as
with a rabbit and a little funnier, be
cause the duck can kick as bard as
tbe rabbit and can also quack, which
no rabbit can do. no matter how well
trained It Is. The explanation of the
trick is simple The magician simply
does It so quickly that you cannot see
bow be does It. Nothing easier. Any
one who doubts It can get a duck and
try lt.-St. Louis Post-Dispatch.
Dear and Cheap Meat.
According to Health Commissioner
Ritchie of Boston. If meat enters are
looking for nutriment only they might
Just us well buy the cheaper cuts as
the more expensive ones. "The value
of different foodstuffs." snys Mr. Rlt
chle. "Is largely a question of amount
of beat units they contain. According
to good authorities, one-half the
weight of beef, the most nutritive
kind of meat. Is water About 10 per
cent Is waste. The remainder Is fats
and proteids. There It* no difference
between ihe nutritive values of the
better or cheaper grades of beef. The
amount of fats and proteids contained
In each Is nbout Ihe same."
A Constitutional Monarch.
Recipe for making a constitutional
monarch: Take a few thousand
troops, a good general and ten or
eleven machine guns. Turn the latter
rapidly until a white flag appears out
of the palace window. Sprinkle over
the quivering ruler a few threats of
what will happen to him if he Isn't
good. Then, when you take him out.
the chances are that you will find a
nice, tender, constitutional monarch
Ot to grace any table.-Syrucuse.Herald.
The Palolo.
Tbal remarkable worm of (he Polynesian Islands, known ns the palolo,
leems to regulate Its periodica! appearances for tbe purposes of reproduction by the moon. The natives
predict the annual appearance of Ihe
palolo by observing the lunar phases.
System.
"Aren't you glad tbat there won't
be any more coal bills?"
"I didn't have any. 1 kept warm
trying to dodge the man with last
Bummer's ice bills."—Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
A Hundred and Fifty Millions Lie In
Lost Galleons.
If one »ere asked to say off-hand
where in the world are to be found
the richest deposits of the precious
minerals in the most concentrated
form, one would probably name the
Rand, or the Yukon, or Cobalt. But
each and all of these guesses would b°
wrong. For if the investigations which
have been carried on for years past
among tbe archives oi Spain are to be
depended upon there lies in Vigo Buy,
within a comparatively small area,
minted gold and silver to the value ol
between $100,000,000 and $150,000,000.
In the golden age of Spain's history
she drew from her mines in the West
Indies gold and silver worth more
than $45,000,000 a year. In 1702 a fleet
of galleons brought home the accumulated treasure of three? years amounting to some $140,000,000. together with
precious merchandise almost equally
valuable. Arrived safely at Vigo, the
seventeen Spanish gnllcmia were attacked by the combined British and
Dutch fleets under Admiral Sir George
Rooke. The galleons, which were men-
of-war, carrying from twenty to forty
guns apiece, were assisted in the engagement by twenty-one French ship?
of the line. The others were much
stronger, and gained an overwhelming
victory. Il was to save the treasure
falling into their hands that the galleons were sunk. It is proved beyond
doubt that only a very small part of
the treasure belonging to the King
was landed before the battle; contemporary official documents show it
to have been $10407.000. and the allies secured as booty no more than
$2,174,000. Some of this gold and silver was adapted to the national currency in I'.nghind. and a number ol
commemorative medals also were
struck from the captured gold by
order of Queen  Anne.
Almost us soon as the battle ended,
attempts were made by the Spanish
Government to recover the treasure.
They were unsuccessful, and later the
Government began to grant special
charters to private companies. A succession of attempts were made, the
Government at first demanding as
much as 85 per cent, of all treasure
that might be raised from the Bay. In
1728, a wealthy Frenchman, Alexandre
Goub'rt, almost succeeded in bringing
one of the sunken vessels on shore,
but it proved to be a French warship
that had been sunk during the Battle
of Vigo. An English expedition, under William Evans, worked for a year
from the end of 1825, and succeeded
with a primitive diving-bell in rescuing small amounts of silver, cannons,
balls and other objects. The American Vigo Bay Treasure Co. which, at
an interval of several years, followed.
The latter expedition succeeded in
lifting one of the ships, which, however, went to pieces h-fore it was
raised, since it had not been properly
strengthened.
OLD FETTER LANE.
Last House on Famous Street Must
Be Replaced.
Another link with Old London town
is about to be snapped. The ancient
gabled house in Fetter lane, near Hol-
born, tenanted for many years by
Messrs. Melhuish, has been given over
to the housebreaker, who will begin
forthwith the process of demolition.
The spirit of modernism, like the
march of intellect, cannot be stayed:
necessity is the strongest thing in the
world.
•Fetter lane is a relic of the days of
Stow, who discovers the origin of the
word in the fact that it was the old
haunt   of   "fewters"—that   is   to   say,
OLD FETTEH LANE.
loafers; "and," he continues, "it is
now built through with many fair
houses." No doubt this very building, which is about to be replaced by
a modern one, was once a part of those
"fair houses."
The street has many historic associations. It was here in a passage,
or "entry," leading to Bartlett's
Buildings, that the hoy, Charles
Lamb, went for his daily schooling—
before he became a Bluecoat boy. At
No. 77 in the street lived Tom Paine,
the revolutionary, the centenary of
whose death was celebrated on June
8. A less happy memory is that ol
Mrs. Brownrigg, who lived at No
17, where, in a fit of passion, she
whipped to death an apprentice girl.
Here, also, at No. 32, the Moravian
Brethren had their chapel for many
years.
So the human interest, as well as
the historic, surrounding this street
and neighborhood is great indeed,
and that is why there is just one
slight feeling of regret at the news of
another link sundered. Herewith is
a picture of the house.
Turbulent Chief Deposed.
After careful consideration of the
case the Government has deposed 8il-
wane, chief of the largest tribe in
Natal, owing to his turbulent behaviour. Bilwane hus been repeatedly
threatening to advance against bis
neighbors.
No trouble is anticipated as the result of the Government's action. It
had been originally intended to surround Silwane after the Diuizulu expedition, but the authorities dreaded
an extension of the rebellion area at
that time of unrest.
A Lor u Memory.
"Mrs. Brown nnys she has a good
memor.i fo' faces since she belongs to
so mun,v clubs."
"She '•as, even when they are changing all  'be time."
"Has she!"
"V»s: she alwr*P*« knows her baby
when tfey meet 'ttltslde."
Homemeije Pie.
"That man has an adamantluo Jaw."
"Sure enough."
"Wonder where bt got It."
"Prcbnhly   his  wife does  her own
cooklrg."
PAUL JONES'  PROMISE.
Our Great Naval Hero and the Duchess of Chartren.
Tbe Duchess of Chartres was an enthusiast In the cause of American liberty and a warm friend of lu great
naval champion. Paul Jones, whom
she nicknamed the "Untitled Knight
of ihe Sea." The duchess was a royal
princess and a very great lady, and
Captain Jones was a sailor, self educated and tbe son of a Scotch gardener, but in the exchange of gifts and
compliments which, according to the
custom of the day 111 France attended
tbelr friendship, be was not to be outshone.
At a luncheon which sbe gave Just
before he sailed '"oui France In the
Ranger on that f inous cruise of his
which carried the war to the very
shore of Britain It was the good fortune of Paul Jones lo share In a conversation touching a French naval engagement In which Ihe grandfather ot
tbe duchess bad borne a conspicuous
part and to defend and explain his
maneuvers on Ibat occasion, showing
a knowledge of every ship and every
captain engaged uud winning on Ibe
.pot Ihe ardent personal adherence ot
Mme. de Churl res
Al tbe close of the feast she presented him a valuable watch which had
been her grand fat Iter's. Taken by surprise. Ihe American captain nevertheless accepted It with a grace that
charmed the courtly company, promising that In return. If fortune favored
htm, be would Home day "lay nn English frigate al ber feet."
It was a daring boast, but In A. C.
Ruell's biography nf Paul Jones It Is
related how be kept It. Within two
years occurred Ihe marvelous victory
of tbe Honhiimnie Richard over the
Serapls. concerning which the victor
wrote the duchess a letter, ending.
"Tbe enemy surrendered at thirty live
minutes past 10 p. m. by your watch,
wblcb I consult only to fix the moment
of victory."
That was a phrase to delight a so
clety that reveled in pretty phrases,
nnd the duchess was amply satisfied
When Paul Jones reached Paris she
gave a grand banquet In bis honor
Just before It ended he reminded ber
of ber gift and his promise. A servant
wns sent to his room and returned
wltb a long leather case, which the
duchess took amid tbe exclamations
and eager curiosity of (he company.
"Your royal highness perceives tbe
Impossibility of keeping my promise
In kind." explained the knight of Ibe
sea, smiling. "Tbe English frigate
proved to be a forty-four on two
decks, and she Is now at l.orleut with
Freucb colors flying, 'ihe best I can
do toward keeping my word of two
years ago Is to place In your dainty
hands the sword of the bruve officer
wbo commanded her. 1 bave the Donor to surrender to ibe loveliest of women tbe sword surrendered lo me by
one of (he bravest of men-die sword
of Captain (he Hon. Richard Pearson
ot bis Britannic majesty's late ship
tbe Serapls."
SUBSTITUTES FOR SILAGE.
Sugar   Beet a   and   Mang.la   Excellent
For Cow. In  Winter.
When the dairyman is unable to provide silage for his cows the balanced
I. r     m   should   Include   something   be-
' side's  hay,  bran,   mill  feed  and  occa-
j slonally oil cake.    This Is Imperative
i for  the  dairyman  and  desirable  for
I growing and fattening stock.
'     For    this    purpose, pumpkins    are
I largely  grown  for late  fall  feed,  but
| they cannot  be kept far Into tbe wln-
j ter.   Following these there is no vegetable  thut  equals the sugar beet, especially   In   tbe delightful   flavor  and
richness thai It imparts to milk, and
an allowance of even three or four a
day   to  each  cow,  chopped  Into convenient   bits   and   fed   In   connection
wltb   hay.   Is eaten with avidity  and
conduces to health as  well as enjoyment  for Ihe animals.
Next to the sugar beets and even
easier to grow are the mangels, raised
exclusively for stock, nnd In European
countries forming a hifge part of the
food, a practice that might be most
profitably Imitated lu America, where
tbe grain feeds bave lately greatly
advanced In price.
AN  EARTHQUAKE  MIRACLE.
Fooled.
He was a doctor and was patiently
waiting for bis first patient.
Thought be: "It tbe mountain will
not come to Mahomet, Mahomet must
go to tbe mountain. And us patients
wilt not seek me out 1 must needs seek
tbem out."
He strolled through the cheap mar
ket and presently saw a man buy six
nice cucumbers.
"Here's a chance.'" said be aud followed him home.
Patiently be waited for four long and
lonely hours, and about midnight tbe
front door quickly opened, und the man
dashed down the steps.
He seized blm by tbe arm and cried
earnestly: /
"Do you want a doctor?"
"No!" replied the man roughly
"Want more cucumbers:"-London An
swers,
The Bride's Linen Room.
If a groom elect has not provided an
extra room to bis bouse for storing his
bride's linen be should build It lu time
fur In these days whenever a gin
marries ber tnolher closes ber lips
grimly, goes nfter pa's pocket bonk and
does Ibe right thing with nine dozen
towels, fifteen dozen napkins, eighty
four pairs of sheets, etc. She doesn't
expect ber daughter to open a boarding
bouse, but she bits proper pride and lu
tends to do the right thing by tbe gin
even it it breaks pa.-Atchison tllobe.
Couldn't Forget It.
"Saturday nlgbt some miscreant lug
ged off a whole cord of my wood, and
somehow I can't forget about It!" declared Silas.
"Have you tried to forget It?" Inquired bis friend.
"Yes. Sunday morning I went to
church hoping I could get It off my
iiilud. and before I bud been there live
minutes tbe choir started Id singing
'The Lust Chord,' so 1 got out!"—
Judge.
Lunch and Luncheon.
"We don't bave dinner in the middle
of the day at our boarding bouse any
Diore." e
"You bave lunch. I suppose?"
"No. luneheou."
"Well, that's the same thing."
"Oh. do, It Isn't! Lunch Is a light
dinner, aud luncheon is u light lunch."
-Puck.
Cur. For Lone.omene...
The redheaded girl Is a winner—and
the man who gets one will not be lonesome. He will soon find out whether he
has drawn a Titian haired angel or a
combination of u cyclone and a sunset-Baltimore Sun.
Scoura In Pigs.
For two or three yenrs we had some
trouble with our young Berkshire pigs
at weaning time, says a breeder, i-'re-
quently the best of each litter would
have white scours. For several years
we bave had no trouble along tbls line,
as we begnn feeding a side dlsb of
wheat middlings, fed dry tn a creep
while Ihe young pigs were still on the
dam. Since we began tbls dry feed
we bave bad no trouble. I think that
the difficulty comes In most cases by
giving a wet feed, but where dry feed
Is used no trouble occurs. We always
feed warm, soaked corn at the same
time. After they are weaned they are
fed twice a day Just what they will
clean up nicely.
Cleaning Dairy Uten.il..
The propeir' way of washing milk
utensils Is something that Is often
neglected. All milk should be rinsed
from tbe surface of the tin before It
comes in contact wltb the boiling water, as tbe bent will cook the milk on
to tbe surface, forming a coating very
difficult to remove. If tbls coating Is
not removed It furnishes food and a
place for bacterial growth. This Is especially true In localities that are
damp. After rinsing the vessels free
from milk they may be washed In hot
water. There should be added to tbe
water some good cleansing compound.
Some of the so called washing powders are not good, for a grease of some
kind Is used In their makeup. If a
good powder cannot be obtained ordl-
On. of Many Strange Stories Told by
the Survivors at Messina.
Many curious and Improbable stories
were told in Messina after Its disaster,
according to Robert [lichens, who bas
written for the Century Magazine of
his experiences and observations "After the Earthquake." One of the strangest uf the stories he heard be tells as
follows:
"A woman after the shock was buried alone In her room. The door was
blocked by fallen masonry. There was
no means of Ingress or egress, aud the
rest of the house had fallen In ruins.
She was uninjured, but she was Imprisoned. In this room she remained
fur eight days. It wus a bedroom aud
contained no food. During the eight
days she gave birth to twins. When
searchers, with picks and spades, dug
down to where she was I hey found her
and the twins strong and well. Tbey
took them out and questioned her as
to bow she had managed to live—why
she had not starved.
"'Every day n woman came and
brought me food.' she answered.
"They pointed out that this was Impossible, as there was no means of getting into or out of the room and the
rest of the house had fallen.
" *I know,' she snld. 'Nevertheless It
is true. I do uot know how she came
or went. She never spoke to me or
looked at me. She was there each day,
put food fur me on the table nnd disappeared. I had never seen her before
and do uot know who she was.'
"They asked for some description of
the visitor, but could obtain no details.
"This woman was not raving. She
was in good health, well nourished nnd
hnd nursed the twins, who are thriving. She persists in ber sioiy.
"I told it to a Sicilian.
"•It was the Madonna who brought
ber food.' be said. 'She often does
such things.'"
A Three Legged Capital.
The only apology for the decision ol
the South African convention about
tbe capital Is that any other would
have wrecked the scheme of unlou,
But tbe fact that It was au unavoidable sacrifice to local jealousies does
not make the arrangement desirable
or even save it from ridicule. The legislative assembly or federal parliament
is to sit ut Cape Town, while the executive—1. e„ the government offices-
are to be at Pretoria. As a crowning,
absurdity tbe legal or supremo court
of appeal is to be at Ifloc.nfouteiii
Thus the provincial pride, not uutlnged
witb cupidity, of the Cape Colony, tli.
Orange Colony and the Transvaal bat
each lu Its turn been provided for
wltb the result that South Africa hai
no capital, or, rather, has three capt
tals.—Saturday Review.
A UILK CUt WASHKB.
nary commercial sal soda and a little
borax can be used. It is always important to wash milk utensils as soon
as possible after tbelr contents are
emptied. If left to stand two or three
hours some of tbe milk dries, and tben
tbe more hot water is put on It the
closer It sticks. Always wash milk
palls and cans first with cold water.
THE DAIRYMAN.
The learned man conceals his erudition, the silly man clothes himself wltb
it.-Uoussaye.	
PVi.f.
Slig r song jl sixpence,
Wottle full of rye
F-t a fellow In the south
Feeling extra dry.
Ni saloons arc open,
**ut he doesn't car.
If he has a pocket
With n bce"i. ttv-re.
Magnesium.
When exposed to an open flame,
magnesium Id Its powdered metallic
state will Instantly combine wltb lbs
oxygen of tbe air and form an explosive flash of Intense white flame
and change Into a dense white smoke
of oxide of magnesium.
Provide good milk palls. There are
a great number of patent milk palls on
tbe market tbat prevent filth from
falling into tbe milk. Strainer top
palls are quite extensively used and
are very effective in keeping out foreign matter.
Regularity In Work of Dairy.
Too much importance cannot be at
tached to the regularity In all dairy-
work. The cow Is a creature of habits. The more regular the attention
given her tbe better work sbe will do
In the dairy. Teach the boys to be
kind aud gentle to tbe cows, to feed
tbem properly and with regularity
Try to make the cows contented as
possible. Oeutle treatment, good feeding and regularity are tbe three requirements lu handling dairy cows.
Remedy For Cowpox.
Oxide of sine ointment rubbed on
the cow's bag morning and night Is a
very good remedy for cowpox. The
disease Is carried from cow to cow on
the bands of tbe milker. So when
the disease Is In tbe herd tbe milkers
should wash their bands carefully
after milking each cow. Do not use
the milk from affected cows until they
are cured.
For Kicking Cow..
To cure cows of kicking when being
milked a dairyman says a remedy
whlcb has proved effectual without a
single exception Is limply clean lard
About fifteen or twenty minutes before the cow Is milked tbe first time
the lard should be applied to tbe teats,
and wben through milking wipe tbe
teats perfectly dry with a soft, dry
cloth and apply tbe lard again, Tbls
was usually found necessary for about
five or six mllklngs. Many milkers
bave a bad habit of wetting tbelr
fingers wben milking, and when tbe
teats of young cows are left tn this
condition, especially In winter time,
they get sore. On tbe otber hand,
lard benls or takes away the soreness
tbat is so natural, caused by the action of rough, hard bands upon the
teats that are not accustomed to tbe
milking process.	
Net Quit, tha Same.
"Is he looked up to as a man of
mark?"
"No; merely as a man of dollar
mark."
From Gold to Copper.
There Is no clearer example of the
mining of the new day than these
great copper camps set down in the
heart of the old time gold country,
Gold mining meant fortunes to the
few. The argonauts came and gathered
tbelr millions nud left the land almost
as wild and unconqtiered as tbey
found It. Few permanent towns and
cities mnrk their trull. But copper
enlists an army In lis service. It sets
big buildings rocking wltb the roar of
machinery where the gold hunter
pitched his tent nnd builds Its railroads where he packed his mule trains.
Science steps down from a Pullman
now where romance tramped with
blanket roll and rifle and gold pan, and
telephone nnd telegraph wires follow
the trails of the express riders.—Out
West
Woman's Courage.
"It is not unusual," said the observant man, "for women to die with the
Btolclsm of Mrs. Farmer. Women nt
the hour of death have always had
more strength nud calmness and power
of endurance than men. I don't know
why. unless It Is that they have more
religion and greater faith in tbe betterment of tbelr condition In the bere-
oftcr. The few women who have been
executed here lu America bave been
remarkable for their calmness, while II
is n historical fact that during tbe
French revolution It was the women
who exhibited the greatest courage
and strength of character upon tbe
guillotine."—New York Press.
A Job For the Armies.
Cnmllle Flammarloii has revived his
old scheme of digging a geothermlc
well 200 meters In diameter to ascertain the Internal constitution of the
earth. The Imaginative I'lanimarlon
proposes to find an economic and almost Inexhaustible source of beat to
verify the rate of caloric increase, to
find out if the materials constituting
the terrestrlnl globe are In a state of
fusion - In a word, to do rationally and
directly what has been done slightly
and a little by chance up to the present time In mines. To carry out tho
work the standing armies of the world
are to be called into requisition,—Scientific American.
Apologias to th. Purpl. Cow.
Although It's bound to raise our Ira
Each time we hear or see one,
There's thla about the poor umpire—
We'd rather eee than be one.
Willing Te.
"Have you forgotten you owe me
|5?"
"No, not yet. Give me time and I
Will."
"S 0 8" Supplants "C Q D."
The first distress signal used when
tbe wireless became popular on ships
Was C Q D. It has been changed to
SOS. In the continental code It Is
made with three dots, three short
dashes and three dots, while In the
Morse it Is three dots. dot. space and
dot. three dots. The new distress signal has been adopted by the Berlin
treaty and Is now official all over th<|
world.—Exchange
The thing that most of us dou't want
brought home to us is the truth about
ourselves.
Sometimes tbe difference between
reputation and character Is untenable.
As long as yon are not running the
universe why worry about the schedule?
Getting out of life what there Is In
It without the bitter rind Is whai
might he culled the measure of success. THE    TIMES,    HOSMER,    BRITISH    COLUMBIA.
Buys Onion Bed and Proceeds to
Cultivate Immediately.
REFUSES ADVICE OF MRS. B.
A
Is Well Satisfied With His Picturesque
Work, Which I. Destroyed by Fighting Dog.—Temper Get. Better of
Him Again.
[Copyright, 1909, by Associated Literary
Preaa.J
T breakfast time Mr. Bowser
Informed Mrs. Bowser that, it
being Saturday, be should take
a half day off and be home
"** shortly after 12 o'clock. He was asked
If be intended to go fishing or take a
walk out into the country to pass tbe
afternoon, but he was noncommittal.
If he bad a dark, deep design be intended to keep it a secret until tbe
I-, proper time to spring it Thnt be
1/ would be content to sit on tbe steps
and smoke all tbe afternoon could not
for a moment be imagined. The cook
bad overheard his remark, and he bad
not been gone ten minutes wbcu sbe
came to Mrs. Bowser to ask:
"Does  it  mean  tbat  be  is coming
borne to tinker with the gas meter,
mum?"
"I don't tblnk so."
"Then Ib it to try a new fuel aud
blow up the range again?"
"I tblnk he will Just sit around."
"Never, never, mum! If he's coming
home In the afternoon It's never to sit
down for fire minutes at a time. You
are a real lady nnd have used me kind-
aTAHUER  BOWSER WAS  AT   WOBK IN THE
SACK YA1ID.
ly, and I'm willing to run some risks
for you, but If you don't promise to
bave your eye on bim all tbe afternoon out I go at noon."
Mrs. Bowser promised and put her
trust where the American gold coins
do. At half past 12 Mr. Bowser arrived and brought something Iu a paper bag with blm. The mystery was
soon solved. As be sat down to lunch
be said:
"If you, nre wondering what Is In
tbnt bag let me tell you that I have
brought home some onion setts."
-And for what reason?"    '
•"There can be but one reason. I nm
going to make a bed in the back yard
end set tbem out."
"But-but"-
"There are no buts about it. As you
know, I am a lover of young onions
There Is nothing better for tbe system.
I don't propose to eat outous tbat have
laid around tbe grocery for a week.
And In connection wltb this onton bed
I want to give you a word of warning.
Two years ago this spring 1 got onion
setts and made an onion bed. inside
of a week It was destroyed."
i "But what bud 1 to do wtth that?"
protested Mrs. Bowser.
"Never you mind. I have always bad
my theory about it I hadn't the
proofs to convict you, but take a tip
from me this time. If the onion bed
I am to make this afternoon is uot
held as sacred as tbe family Bible
there's going to be tbe biggest kind
of a row in this family.'.'
i "Your onions never came up, and
vou know it."
"1 know nothing of tbe kind."
"And the cats came and rolled over
the bed."
"Lay it to the cats, but take my
tip."
Mr. Bowser Begins Spading.
Half an hour later Farmer Bowser
wus at work in the back yard. The
cook was still a little shy when sbe
was told that It was only onions, but
■be didn't quit her Job. To make nn
onion bed you have got to spade up the
ground. Mr. Bowser spnded. He met
witb beer bottles, clothespins, brickbats, tomato cans and knives and forks
•nd spoons and pieces of crockery, but
be wns not discouraged. Ills back
ached aud tbe sweat started, but be
remembered bow refreshing young
onions tasted, ne had finished hie
spading when Mrs. Bowser came ou/
to suy:
I "I don't want to interfere with your
work, but don't you see you hnve dug
your bed In the shade. I should tblnk
It needed the sun to grow onions.'!
! "Oh. you should?" he replied. "Mrs.
Bowser, perhaps at some time In your
life you have served as president of
•n agricultural college?"
i "No, I never have. I simply know
that growing vegetables need the sun."
' "Then I will excuse you, and you can
retire Into the house. 1 nm running
tbls onion bed. Indeed, 1 wns running
onion beds when you were playing
with rag dolls, and I have never made
a mistake yet In placing tbem."
i Mrs. Bowser retired, and he got the
rake to smooth the bed over and give
It tbe appearance of a balr mattress.
That bed was not laid out by the compass points. It pointed In any old di
rectlon. It was not a square bed. Its
width was not proportioned to Its
length. It was simply a Bowser onion
bed. Some folks might huve considered It ,1 blot on the landscape of tbe
back ytr.'d, but he didn't.
When tbe surface bad been combed
sufficiently tbe bed was ready for the
onions. They were old onions with
•prouts all ready to grow and give a
furmer n full heart. In setting them
out Mr. Bowser didn't follow nny arbitrary rule and set tbem In rows. He
simply followed his eye, with tbe result that wben tbe bed was finished all
tbe rows Dad beautiful bulges In them.
Some bulged to tbe right and some to
the left, and some started across the
yard and then bended for the alley
fence. Mrs. Bowser came out aud
looked nt tbem und asked:
"(Old you take plcturesqueness Into
account In setting out your sprouts?"
"Have you any fault to find?" be replied.
"Why. no, but It seems to me"—
"Never mind how It seems to you.
if you bave any stockings to darn, now
Is the time to do It."
The work was now completed, but
Sir. Bowser lingered to feast his eyes
on that bed. He had done It all himself. He bad done It without any of
Mrs. Bowser's advice. Without doubt
it was the only onion bed on tbe block.
There might be others, but tbey were
far. fur away. Even at tbat they were
onion beds without plcturesqueness or
bulges. He was called to dinner, but
be could not tear himself away. He
was called again, but still, like Mary's
little lamb, he lingered near. By a
heroic effort, however, be finally tore
himself away and entered the house
nnd made ready for the meal.
"Well, Is It done?" naked Mrs. Bowser ns they sat down to tbe table.
"Yes, It Is finished, and It now only
remains for the onions to tbrlve nnd
grow. I doubt if nny farmer in the
country will have a better onion bed to
show."
"Well, I hope tbey will be a success."
"They can't help but be unless you
interfere, and 1 want you to remember
what I said. The person that Interferes with thnt ouion bed Interferes
with me."
"I won't even look nt It."
Destroyed by Dog..
Just then was beard the barking and
growling of dogs on tbe street outside.
It seemed to be a tight between halt a
dozen canines, but the noise presently
receded. Then it wus heard again at
the buck of the bouse, but only by tbe
cook, and she took no particular note
of It for n minute. Then as sbe went
to the open kitchen door she uttered
n yell.
"Wliflt In thunder alls that woman
now?" demanded Mr. Bowser as he
half rose up.
"She must have burned her hand."
Tbe words were still on Mrs. Bowser's lips wben the cook burst into tbe
dining room with the cry of:
"Ob. sir, dogs, dogs, dogs!"
"Where?   What?   What dogs?"
Tbe terrified woman pointed to the
back yard and could muke no reply.
Mr. Bowser ran out to see for bim-
Belf, and he saw. There were seven
or eight dogs fighting ou his onion bed.
They bad already scattered the onions
to the four or five wltfds of heaven or
that other place and were now throwing the loose dirt after tbem. He
rushed into their midst with the rake,
but tbe deed had been done. Tbe
spring sun was Just going dowu on
the scene of desolation.
"Did 1 do it this timer' asked Mrs.
Bowser as sbe followed blm out.
He turned and glared at her for a
moment and tben replied:
"Woman, this is tbe deadline! You
leave for your mother's at 10:10 in
the morning." M. (j'UAD.
SUN  PRANKS.
Irregular die. For Which Selene. Cannot Altogether Account.
Tbe sun Is generally looked unpn as
a model of regularity wblcb never
fails In its duty, but tbe ancient historians mention several Instaoces
wben it failed to give forth Its usual
amount of beat and light for periods
varying from three hours, to several
months. Data on tbe subject bave
been compiled by tbe St. Louis Republic.
According to Plutarch, tbe year 44
B. O. was one In wblcb tbe sun was
"weak and pale" for a period approximating eleven months.
Tbe 1'ortuguese historians record
several months of diminished sunlight
in the year 034 A. D„ and, according
to Humboldt, this uncanny period ended wltb "strange and startling sky phenomena, such as loud atmospheric explosions, rifts in tbe vaulted canopy
of blue above and tn divers otber rare
and unaccountable freaks."
In tbe year 1091, on Sept 29 (see
Humboldt's "Cosmos"), tbe sun turned
suddenly black and remained so for
three hours and did not regain Its normal condition for several days.
According to the noted Helmutb's
"Solar Energy," tbe days of seeming
Inactivity on tbe part of tbe sun (tbe
days following tbe sudden blackening
of the great orb) were noted for a
peculiar greeulsb tinge and are marked In old Spanish, French nnd Italian
records as "the days of tbe green sun."
February, 1100 A. D„ Is noled Id the
annals of marvelous phenomena as a
mouth In whlcb there were several
days tbat "Ibe sun appeared dead and
black, like a great circular cinder Boat-
lag Id tbe sky."
"On the last day of February, 1200,"
says au old Spanish writer on astronomy, astrology and kindred subjects,
"tbe sun appeared suddenly to go out,
causing a darkness over the country
for about six hours." in 1241 the European countries experienced another
siege of supernatural darkness, which
the superstitious writers of that time
attributed to God's displeasure over
tbe result of the great battle of Lleg-
nltz.
Even today there are certain Irregularities of the sun tbat science cannot
altogether account for. Tbese are the
so called sun spots—enormous dark
splotches which appear from time to
time on the solar disk and wblcb are
supposed to have great Influence on
the atmospheric conditions of tbe
earth. Scientists bave long studied
tbese phenomena, but neither tbelr extent nor periodicity bas ever been determined.
MEXICAN  HOTELS.
HUE TOILER,
He Tells of Things That Take
Place In His Shop.
PUZZLES THE OLD FELLOW.
Th. R.ady Explainer.
"Why," asked the customer suspiciously, "do you put so many little
berries under tbe top layer of big
ones?"
"That," answered the affable grocer, j
"Is done so that we can get more of
them Into a box."—Minneapolis Mour-
nol-  ' .
A Strange Creature. . j
/"The gnu always puzzles me," said
the man witb tbe magazine.
"In what way?"
"I .uvarlnbly have a momentary
doubt ns to whether It Is au animal or
a misprint."—Smart Set.
Plain Evidence.
"Jenks Is a pushing sort of fellow.
Isn't he?"
"I should judge so by bis performances with tbe baby carriage and the
lawn mower."—Houston Tost
Down and Out.
He—I guess I have lost the case.
She-Is that so? Has your lawyer
exhausted all the means at his disposal?
He-No, but he has exhausted all the
means nt uiy disposal. — Baltimore
American.
They Close Early, and Guest. Out Lat.
Must Tip the Porter.
"I'm glad to be back in tbe land of
the latchkey," said a mining engineer
who bad been in Mexico for tbe past
year. "In France, Spain, Italy and
throughout Latin America there Is a
servant In every bouse und hotel whose
business it is to open the door. In
Mexico you would think, being so near
this country, that tbe American latchkey would be common. But even In
the finest hotels In tbe capital tbe big
doors are closed at 11 o'clock, and to
gain admittance after that hour you
bave to pound on tbem wltb tbe great
knockers tbat bang outside. After five
minutes you bear a sleepy grunt within, tben some mutterlngs and tbe Spanish word which means 'I'm coming.'
Finally tbe small door in tbe center of
the big oue will be unbarred, and you
step inside. Then if you don't want
to sleep In the park tbe uext nlgbt you
are kept out late you give tbe 'portero,'
as the keeper of tbe gate is called, a
piece of silver. Between 11 and midnight the fee is 10 cents. From 1 on
until morning the gratuity, regulated
by custom, steadily Increases. Between 1 and S it is from 25 to 40 cents,
and after 3 It Is half a dollar.
"Many a nlgbt I have been awakened by the pounding of tbe knockers
In tbe neighborhood cf my hotel. 1
timed one man for ten minutes before
I fell asleep. Probably be bad neglected to fee tbe 'portero' or else the
keeper of tbe gate was drunk, as he j
frequently is. These 'porteros' usually
sleep curled up In blankets Just inside
the door on the stones wltb which every Interior courtyard and entrance is
paved, and all of them have colds. Yet
it is a position much sought after, and
the gatekeeper ranks hlgbest amone
the servants."—New York Press.
Can't Understand Why It I. That People Alway. Gat Something For Nothing In Hi. E.tabli.hment—Sings Lik.
a Ladybird.
[Copyright,   190S,   by Associated   Literary
Press.l
IF you go by the dry goods store,
do you oxpect dot merchant Is
going to ask you to bave some
strawberries and cream? If you
go by a blacksmith shop, do you be
lleve dot blacksmith bands you out a
dish of ice cream? If you go by some
undertaker, does bo present you uilt a
Teddy hear for der cbllders? If you
go by the coal yard, docs dot man lei
you draw for a prize package? Of
course no sooch tblug buppens. It Is
only vhen people call In at a cobbler's
shop dot dey vhant something for not-
tings, und I can't make her out.
I am on my bench putting a lift on
a heel for an old customer vhen my
old frendt Mr. Hainmcrdlnger conies
in. He hns some smiles on his face.
He makes me a bow und says good
morning und den \ hulks over to der
tin water pall und looks Into It und
sniffs uud smells. It vbas all water
In dere. Ills smile goes avbay like
rapid transit, und he don't say anything for two minutes. I don't took
up nor ask if bis wife is dead. I
shush hum to myself:
Oh, der cat's In der cream, und der cow'a
In der corn,
Und der wife In dor well, und der husband forlorn.
"Say, Hans," says Mr. Hammerdln-
ger as he looks mad, "vhat you got In
dot pall?"
"Water."
"Vhy you got water? You vbas a
nice man to bave water wben a customer comes In. No vonder you vbas
so near der poorhouse all der time. I
come in bere to ask you about a new
pair of shoes, but Instead of beer I
find water In der growler—shust plain
water! Do you believe I stand dot?
No, sir. I vbas no sooch mans. I
knows vhen Insoolted. I go oudt. Do
you hear—I go oudt!"
Vhell, be goes oudt If Mr. Hainmcrdlnger goes by der tax office to
pay bis taxes, does be oxpect some
cocktails?   Certainly not, but he ox-
uuei ne smiles und says Roosevelt vhas
sure to run again four years from now,
und we vhas getting along like two
cats In a barrel vhen be slips along to
where he can look into dot growler
He gives one look und shumps back.
1 don't look up. I shust sit on my
bench and sing in a low, sweet voice:
Dere  vhas   an  old  parrot—her   name  it
vhas Poll-
tier English vhas good and so vhaa her
gall.
A lady went by—a descendant of Tam—
And the eyes of that lady old  Polly did
dam,
"Stop, stop!" yells dot fat man ash
he waves bis arms around and grows
red in der face.
"Vhell, vhat vhas it?" I says.
"Do you know vhat vhas in dis pail?"
"Sure, Mike."
"Don't attempt to be frivolous mlt
me. You know it's water, do you—
plain water?"
"Of course."
"And you are a man who puts your
customers off with plain water!"
"If you go by a  law office to get
some law ou a feller, does dot lawyer
hand you out a Scotch highball?"
Too Much Water.
"Dot vhas deeferent—dot vhas decf-
crcnt!" he shouts ash be shumps
around. "You vhas no law oflice, but
a cobbler shop. Here I have walked
half a mile to see about a cement
[latch on my shoe und my heart beating some triphammers, und vhat do I
find? Vbas dere some creamy beer In
your growler to save my life, or vhas
It some water maype three days old?
Don't answer me! Don't urge any ox-
cuses! I vhas humiliated and insulted.
I feel dot 1 should tear down your
shop. Sir, I go oudt. I go oudt never
to come back. I go oudt to patronize
a dago cobbler und to hope you vhas
found dead In your bed tomorrow
morning. Water—water for me! Plain
water! Old water! River water! Water without even shoemaker's wax In
It to color it!  Villain, farewell!"
Vhas It any good for me to feel had?
If I can't make blm oudt I can't, und
so I sit on  my  bench und sing like
some ladybird:
Oh,  Hezeklah Johnson,  h. treed a coon
oop a tree,
Und der coon looked down und chuckled
he-he,
Und Hezeklah waited a shot for to get,
Und If he don't be tired he', waiting der.
yet.
M. QTJAD.
QUAINT KISSING CUSTOM?.
Which   Ar.   Still   Observed   In   Eng
land—A   Newcastle   Festival.
Among the quaint old kissing customs which England still retains is
the one connected with an April festival that takes place at Hungerford
A penny tax is collected on that day
by two well known residents of Hungerford. who are termed "tuttymen,"
and who go from door to door, each
carrying a stave trimmed with gay
ribbons. There is one very valuable
perquisite attached to the office- -a
kiss from et least one lady in each
family  visited.
"Beating the bounds" is often associated with other remarkable customs, an-1 ct Maidenhead kissing is
iminemorially associated with it
Any lady, old or young, rich or poor
who is eneo mtered on the road must
have the alternative submitted to ber
if  being either  "bumped"  or   kissed
Bur^e day ia a festival which ap
"ears to be peculiar to Neweastle-on-
Tyne. It seems to be akin to the practice of boundary beating, for the
mayor and corporation, who. doubt
less, in olden times used all to sail
In barges, now embark upon four be-
flagged steamers and, followed by
two old staU barges, steam up the
river, to claim the soil of the Tync
Hut the- ph.pe de resistance is reserv
-el for the landing. A big crowd is
■ilwuys waiting on the landing stage
for the ariivnl of the "grave and
rever'ticl seignois," and from the ns
gambled multitude the mayor has the
very delightful, but extremely invieli
■ins, privilege o* selecting any young
lady he pleases and giving tier a
kiss. For this oseulutory perform
anee she receives a golden sovc-
rei'.'ii.
i It *s sai 1 that the-e has never beei
a mayor of Newcastle who has no-
leemei this privilege cheap at thi
price. Nol is that all. No sooner ha
the mayor received his kiss and pre
sented his sovereign than the sherif
not to be outel me, also chooses a tai
lady, kisses her and presents her wit!
a sovorjlgn. Lut the fair maid whoi
the mayor las kissed has still anoth
er gift to receive, and this time froi
the mayoress, who is bound by eu.-
tom, whatever her feelings on tin
matter muy be, to present with some
useful gift the ludy whom ber hus
bund  has kissed.
A NOTABLE STATESMAN
LATE   LORD   RIPON   IN   HARNESS
NEARLY  60  YEARS.
Was One of the Commissioner, on th.
Alabama and Canadian Fisherie.
Disputes With the United States—
His Conversion to Roman Catholicism—Was Formerly Viceroy of
India.
To have been one of England's
leading statesmen for a period of
nearly 60 years was the experience
of George Frederick Samuel Robinson, first Marquis of Kipon, who died
recently in London, at the age of 82.
Apart from his long and useful public career, his life in some of its
phases is not without interest to
Americans.
The niarquis, who was born in
1827, entered public life in 1852, his
first oflice being that of a member of
Parliament from Hull. In 1859 lie
entered the House ol Ixirds, succeeding in thut year to the title of his
father, the Karl of [Upon; und ever
since he hud been a prominent figure
and potent influence in the service of
his country.
In 1H/71 the marquis spent several
iionths  in   the   United   States,    being
A BELATED APOLOIY.
Great Curiosity.
"Why nre all those people flocking
down   to   Hiram   Hardapple's   barn?" j
asked the old farmer on the bay wag-
on.
"Hi's got a curiosity down thar," j
chuckled the village constable.
"That so?  What kind of a curiosity
Is it?"
"Why, Hi's old red and white Jersey !
cow. Tbe other night the old critter j
had the colic, and Hi went down with
bis lantern to give ber a dose of cow
medicine. Blamed If be didn't make a
mistake and give ber a pint of gasoline."
"Do tell!  Didn't kill her, did It?"
"No: but, by beck, it had a funny ef-
feet Now Instead of going 'Moo, moo!'
like any other sensible cow, sbe goes I
'Honk, honk!' like one of them thar j
blamed automobiles."—Chicago News.
Just a* Weill
Palmist (to man and his wife passing)—Have your fortune told, sir?
The Man (Whispering)—I'll he around
later. 1 don't want my wife to know
It-New York Life.	
Almost a Walkover.
"Tell me. Is there anything on earth
that new yacht of yours can't overtake
nnd puss?"
"I should sny there Is."
"What's Unit?"
"Ita running expenses."- Puck.
Th. Damper,
We love the game!   We love to go
And hear the crowded bleachers shriek
In Joyous victory, but—oh,
Vou losing streak!
— Indianapolis News.
A Distinction of Term..
"So Uncle Jasper has gone to raisin'
chiekenj!"
"I didn't say he were ralslu' 'em."
replied Krustus Plnkly. "1 snld he were
lift lu* 'em."-Washington Star.
The Vain Mosquito,
Said the July mad mosquito
As he hummed the way along:
"1 wonder why the mocking bird.
.Don't Imitate my song.
I sing all night, and ao do tbey,
And 1 can beat them night or dayl
"But the man there 'neath the coverlet
My music understands.
He's giving me an encore.
Just hear him clap hi. hand;!
"to music 1 was born to teach,
But keep me from my pupils' reach!"
—Atlanta Constitution.
The Honeymoon.
The honeymoon bas no definite duration, but is longer or shorter accord
lug as the temper of tbe high contracting parties determines, or their relatives, or tbe weather, or the mode or
tbe comparative cost of traveling and
staying at borne. Briefly, It Is tbat
Interval during wblcb tbe man, going
out in tbe morning, remembers bis kiss
and forgets bis overshoes as distinguished from the Interval during whlcb
be remembers his overshoes nnd for-
gets bis kiss.—New York Life.
Pluck.
"Pluck," said Ibe financier, "Is tbe
secret of success."
"Well," Interrupted the shabby man,
"I'll give you £10 If you'll teach me
your   method   of   plucking."
Slow to Laugh.
The Briton—As the old proverb soys,
y* know, "He lawfs best who lawfs
lnbst" The Yankee—If that's so,
what good laughers you English must
be!—Cleveland Lender.
To deal honestly with others Is not
so difficult To compel others to deal
honestly with you-thst is power.—
Smart Bet
Reason For It.
"Why Is Maude so angry wltb the
photographer?"
"She found a label on the back of
her picture saying, 'The original of
this photograph Is carefully pre
served.' "—Boston Transcript
Now Scheme.
Jlmmy-Wbnt yer looking so gay
about, kiddo? Yer'll get a licking when
yer get home for going In swimming.
Petey-Oh. no. I told dad I bad been
Id swimming and got tbe licking before 1 left home. Now 1 can swim
without nm thing un my mind.
I BELIEVE SBB WAS SOUS ANGELS.'
pects beer in a cobbler's shop sbust
der same. He goes oudt und a tall
man mlt spectacles on his eyes comes
In. I never see blm before. Maype he
bas a pair of shoes In a paper to be
fixed up. I smile at him und say It
vbas good weather. He says der
weather vhas good nuff for him und
goes over to der growler. One sniff
und he turns avbay. 1 don't look up,
but bum to myself:
In der good old summer time-
In der good old summer time,
"Cobbler," says dot man, "do you Bee
me?"
"Of course," I says.
"Do I look like some guy from der
country?"
"No, sir."
"Den don't try any of your con
games on me. You bave got water ia
dot growler iastead of beer."
"Vbell?"
"Vuell nottlngs! Do you suppose 1
bring my repairs in here shust to drink
water? You may play dot game ou Innocent cbllders, but don't try It on me.
You shall find oudt dot I vbas no man
to fool mlt. Water—water for customers! You vhas der meanest man iu
town, und oudt I go. If you starve to
death I vhas glad of it."
Vhell, I can't say nottlngs. If dot
man goes by a photographer to get bis
picture took be don't oxpect a mint
Julep, does be? Den vby must he oxpect beer In a cobbler's shop? I try
to puzzle blm oudt vben a woman
comes In. She vbas as tall ash a tree
und ash slim asb a pole, uud she
stands mlt her bands folded on her
breast und her eyes rolled up. I believe she vhas some angels until she
softly steps over to del* growler und
looks into It. Den I softly sing:
8am Perkins he did go to town.
'Twas on a summer day,
A yoke of oxen he did drive,
Und he had a load of hay.
"Shut up!" yells dot female angel
ash she turns on me.
"Yes'm."
"It's nothing but water In dls growler."
"I know It."
"But vhcre's der beer?"
"Across der street In der saloon."
"Oh, It Is, nnd when a lady customer
who Is nearly dead with fatigue comes
In she can drink water or nothing!"
"Madam, If you go by some dressmaker, does she bare a bottle of champagne for you?" I asks.
"None of your business whether sbe
-toes ot uot! It vhas a deeferent case.
You vbas no dressmaker, bul a stlbgy
old cobbler. I bear you vhas almost
In der poorhouse, und 1 come mlt my
custom to help you. I walk four blocks
to flud water In your growler-nothing
but water. You may think I vhus
some chorus girl to be made a foul of
by a broker, but you vhas mistook
Never, never again do 1 come Into Uts
shop, und if you raise your bat und
bow to me ou der street your wicked
old bead vhaa punched In two minutes!"
It vhas no use to talk back. 1 finish
der heel und den take oop another shoe
to put on a cement patch und a fat
mau comes In.   He vhas fat und lolly.
Uncon.ciou. Innocence.
"My ancestors came over In the Mayflower," said tbe haughty lady.
"Ob, yes." rejoined Mrs. Cumrox,
with Interest. "Mine didn't. None of
my family ever cared for tbose big
excursions."—Washington Star.
It Cam. After th. Positive Man Discovered  His Mistake.
An Irish officer who had served In
Malta was one day at a public dinner
Expatiating on the luxurious living at
Malta, he spoke particularly of the
excellent quality of the anchovies
He had never seen any like them anywhere else. He tuld of a grove of
them which he had seen growing ii
the governor's garden upon the es
planade.
A gentleman present disputed the
statement that anchovies grew on
trees. The Irishman reaffirmed it
most emphatically. The wine wat
flowing and the lie passed. A chal
lenge was  given and  accepted.
On the following day the parties
met, attended by their seconds. At
the first fire the Irishman's shot took
effect in his opponent's thigh, the
ball hitting the hone and cuisine
such a shock that the latter fell upon
his buck and in such pain that lie-
kicked his heels vigorously.
"V taith, major," said our hcro't
second, "you've hit your man, but I
think not dangerously, for see what
lively capers he is cutting."
"Capers! Capers!" exclaimed the
Irishman, with a start. "Oh, by the
powers, what have I done? Bad luck
to tne forever for such a drea'liul mis
take!" And, hastening to the side of
his antagonist, who had been raisee
to a sitting posture, he grasped hi-
hand, gushing forth as he did so
"My dear friend, I hope you/re not
killed. And if I've harmed you seriously I'll ask your pardon forever,
Ior I made a murderin' mistake! It
was capers that I saw growing upon
that tree at Malta and not anchovies
ut ull!"
Mosquito—Tbls is what I call hard
lock. 1 bave bored through this In
seventeen places, and there Isn't a
man Inside, after all.
Acting and Overacting.
"It is a much simpler thing to
overact than to act," declares a writer in The Yorkshire Post on "The
Amateur on the Stage." In this con
nection, he adds, there is a good story
told of Sir W. S. Gilbert's rehearsal
of "The Yeomen of the Guard" at
the Savoy. A gentleman of the chorus
who had a very minor part made hi*
entrance in a most exaggerated manner,  much to the author's disgust.
"Please don't enter like that,''
said Gilbert. "We don't want any
'comic man  business'  here."
"I beg your pardon," replied the
abashed chorus gentleman. "1
thought you meant the part to be
funny."
"Yes, so I do. but I don't want
you to tell the audience you're the
funny man. They'll find it out, /if
you are, quickly enough." (
Couldn't Whisper.
"I never Whisper soft nothings to
my wife."
"What!    Never?"
"No. She was n bit deaf even when
I first met her."- Kansas City Times.
Regular Free Praia.
Bellii'ln- I never was so embarrassed
In my life How In the world did
•Very one Mod out that you kissed me?
Billy-Why. dear, wasn't It printed?
—Detroit Tree Press.
Mathematics  Mad.  Ea.y.
Little Iiceils could not count beyond
four. One day. when sbe was showing me the berries that she bad pick-
ed, I asked, "How many bave you,
Dolls';"
Her   brows   puckered   a   moment.
Then,  dimpling  with  smiles,  she an- i
swered. "Wall till  I eat one; then I'll
tell    you!" - Woman's     Home    Companion.
Heard In th. Market.
The little green cucumber and tbe
big red strawberry met at a market
stall. {
"How nre you this morning?"
queried ihe cucumber.
"Oh, I'm ripe for anything," replied
the strawberry.   "And you?"
"Bather  seedy."  answered  the cu- !
cumber sadly.-Chicago News. j
"Valley of Dried Bone.."
The island of Jamaica possesses a
"valley of dried bones." It is neat
the CutiaC'ina gap, in the Maroon
county. This valley, though in the
heart of the "wet country," is bare
of leaf and life. The limestone rock
is hot. Giant trees, which seem to
have been blighted suddenly, stand
up gaunt and dead. Although vegetation seems to have been dense here
ill former years, nothing will grow-
now. During the hot season the teni
perature is almost unbearable, It is
visited by seismic disturbances, which
cuuse the dead trees and hot stones
to  rattle  like  dry bones.
True Candor.
Rnplclgh -Miss llitts. pway don't let i
my—er—call   Intuhfere   with   any   nr- j
watigeuieiits  you   may   have, doDcher
know.     Just   act   as   If   I—er-wiun't
heah.
Miss Hilts -Oh. thank you. Mr  Sup- I
lelgb.   Then I'll proceed to enjoy my-
self.—Minneapolis Journal.
Founder of Empire Day.
"If Meath had his way he would
pull down the whole of London to
make a garden of it for its inhabitants." It was in these words that
Lor! Rosebery once referred to the
invaluable work which Lord Meath,
founder of Umpire Day, had done in
the way of giving I,ondori new open
spaees and recreation grounds. He
was also the founder of the Hospital
Saturday Fund and the organizer of
many other schemes for the well-
being oi the masses. Lord Meath
began life ns a clerk in the Foreign
Office, and had five years ol diplomatic service.
Cruel Woman.
"My wife Is one of the most Inconsiderate women In the world."
"Why do you tblnk so?"
"She put a net over the baby's bed
last night, and consequently the mos
qultoes hardly gave me a chance to
get a wink of sleep."—Brownlug'a
Magazine.
LATH MARQUIS OF KIPON,
chairman of the joint commission
which was appointed to draw up the
treaty of Washington. This treaty
settled the Alabama claims growing
out of the civil war and also the Canadian fishery dispute. For his services with this commission he was
promoted from an earldom to a mar-
quisate.
One of the most dramatic incidents
of his life was his conversion to the
Roman Catholic faith. He had been
brought up in the Church of England,
and when Pope Pius IX issued his
denunciations of the order Lord
Kipon was the grand -master of the
English Free Masons. He was asked
to associate liimBelf with a Masonic
decree aimed by the craft throughout
the world against the Pope. He instituted a searching inquiry into the
position of the Vatican and became
a Catholic. The Prince of Wales, now
Edward VII., succeeded him as grand
master.   None of Lord Ripon's family
i embraced his new faith, but this did
not cause any estrangement. To that
faith he afterward remained steadfastly true, and his retirement from
the present Cabinet last year and
from his place as keeper of the Privy
Seal was due to his disagreement
with his colleagues because at the
last moment permission was refused
for  the  eucharistic    procession    after
■ all arrangements   for    its   route  had
rbeen made with the police authorities
in London.
1     His change of religious belief took
1 place shortly before Mr. Gladstone
issued his famous pamphlet against
the Vatican Council, in which he declared allegiance to the spiritual
supremacy of the Pope incompatible
with civil allegiance to the British
crown. The Marquis of Ripon, with
Cardinals Manning and Newman,
took a decided stand against Mr.
Gladstone in the controversy which
followed, and some surprise was
created a few years later when Glad-
! stone appointed the marquis viceroy
of India. But it was at the instance
of Queen Victoria, who had a high
admiration for the marquis' abilities,
that lie was named. The appointment
was severely criticized by his political
enemies and in the early months of
his occupancy of the office it was declared that he wns entirely too democratic for India, for when he was
greeted by the natives he invariably
returned  their salutes.
But tlie criticism did not affect the
attitude of the marquis, and his innate courtesy and sense of justice
made him one of the best viceroys
that India has known. It is to his
credit that he entered Parliament as
a Liberal,   although    by descent and
i family connections he was an aristocrat, and it is even more to his credit
that he- adhered all his life to Liberal
principles.
Other positions held by him included the offices of Secretary of War,
Secretary of State for India, First
Lord   of  the   Admiralty,   Secretary  of
i State for the Colonics and Ixird President of the Privy Council.
French  Garden   In   Britain.
For the first time at any agricultural show a French garden was exhibited a short time ago at the Royal
Counties show nt Reading, says The
I/.ml.en  Daily  Mail.
The French garden was set up and
exhibited by Messrs. Sutton, who aro
firm believers ill the system and have
at their command detailed accounts
showing    the    attractiveness   of    the
1 profit and loss account. In this
model garden, 25 feet by 5 feet, were
' growing about 250 lettuces and a
mass of carrots nnd a whole crop of
radishes had just been cleared of.
A great nuniliei of enquiries were
made.
The  British  Museum,
There are 39 miles of books on the
■helves of the British Museum.
Lots of folks are aching for a scrap
who are afraid to begin It
What we know about others nnd
don't tell sometimes makes us fed
very superior and virtuous.
Uot air oft(*n proves cold comfort
Unkind. ''    A good conk in the kitchen Is much
Author-Don't  you think  my latest I more to be desired than a pianola In
article exhaustive? I the parlor.
F.dltor—I  certainly hope it has ex-' —
hausted   you   sufficiently   to   prevent j    A girl   who can   make fudge thinks
your writing anything more for some] "he can  claim  to  be  uu  experienced
time.- Houston Post 'took, -
THE   TIMES,   HOSMER,   BRITISH   COLUMBIA.
*********************************************************************************     Jim Peach was an indignant
♦ applicant at the police court
last week. Mrs. Jim, it seems,
peddles milk to some Slavoni
ans. and a little altercation oc
eurred in which the lady alleged that the Slav said her mother was no lady. Of coarse the
.Slav had another side to the
story and Judge Cole dismissed
the case.
Spring Talk
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TRADC  MARK LABEL It
THI  PQCr-tT
Its going to be  an easy
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matter for you to satisfy yourself in clothing this spring if
you come here to do it. If you
have any pet ideas about what
you want you'll find us able to
meet them.
C Generous values, more
than your moneys worth, thats
the idea we're working on here.
You'll learn *if you hav'nt already, that we make good
alon^ that line.
C Our clothes, whatever
their price, are a full fifth better than the clothes that come
nearest to them in intrinsic
value at other stores.
A. MILLS & SON
"The Home of Swell Clothes"
MILLS BLOCK
HOSMER, B. C.
TALK OF THE TOWN
Easte
it Campbell's
March 27th is Easter Sunday.
Beattie Mills in Fornie on
Tuesday,
Bob Gourlay, Jr., was in Fernie last .Monday.
17th of -March St. Patrick
post cards at Campbell's,
John Bossio was visiting
friends in Fernie, Sunday.
Jno. Kempster left last night
for the state of Michigan.
Fred Sowchuk leaves today
for a trip to Prince Rupert.
A sou was born to Mr. and
Mrs. Geo. \V. Gordon, today,
Do you onjoy a pool game?
Drop in on Sam Snell. 51
Don't forgot the meeting on
Monday evening at school house
K. Syroid loft yesterday for
a trip to the land of his fathers.
Miss Jessie Mills was visiting
friends in Fernie last Saturday.
D. R. McDonald, of Fernie,
spent Sunday in Hosmer witli
his family.
.Joe Werner has returned
from Corbin and will remain
in Hosmer.
II. B. Fletcher, Un- merchant
prince ot ('row's Nest, was in
town today.
Harry Carruthors hns ili^-
posed of bis mansion, .1. Brighl
is the buyer.
.1. L. Gusty, district
fen- the I', Burns C
town Tuesday.
Fred Waters was transacting Joe Crooks has left the world
business in Fernie on Monday, of business and thinks that
A daughter was born to Mr. business in the old country is
and Mrs. M. Quinn, yesterday. different to business in Hosmer.
Everybody come to the pub lie A clean stock, a clean store,
meeting at the old school h ouse with clean attendants is what
next Mondtiy evening, March 7.   makes   Mathieson's    the    pre-
Frcd  McDonald  was a wel-   mier grocery in Hosmer.
come visitor to Hosmer on Sun-      Mrs H A]],u]) who hns been
day last.   He was registered at Jiving in Fernie for the ,as(. few
the Hosmer Hotel. months, will open up the board-
Go to  old, reliable Pete for a ing house  belonging to D. J.
good   shave, hair-cut or bath.   Thomas.   Mrs.   Allan   is   well-
Pete's Barber Shop. lltf      known in Hosmer and we pro-
Asocial dance  will  be given diet she-will have a full house
under the auspices of the Hos- as sho keeps a first class table,
mer   Orchestra   at   the   opera      0n   Sunday   morning   at   11
house, Friday evening, March 4  a> I1L a 8peeial service will be
Mrs. J. F.  Jarvis has  kindly  held in the  Methodist church,
offered to hold the next Church   when  Dr.  White   will preach,
of England   tea   at  tho Royal In the evening at 7:30, the past-
Hotel  ou Tuesday   afternoon,  or, Rev. R. W. Lee, will preach,
March 8th. his subject  being  "Ideas Con-
The Elk   Lumber  Co.   have ccived  at   a   Hosmer   Hockey
closed camps 3, 4 and 7 on  ac- Match."
count of the deep snow. It is Tho Women's Auxiliary of
scarcely probable that they will the English church will hold a
open before the spring force is dance at the Hosmer opera
put on. house on Easter Tuesday, March
Fernio Lumber Co's camp Xo.  29th'   Mus*°  will  be furnished
4, tried to open up,  but on  ac- b° fae Hosmer Orchestra.   Sup-
count of the weather it was im- Per wil* be  served.    As  this is
i possible to   make much  head- fclie nrsfc d,vnce **ter Lent*  ifc  *8
way so were compelled  to  lay J hoped the lovers of the   willow-
| the men oil'again. lb'   gl ■■"•*■■  and   fascinating  two
For Sale-Three head of de- steP wiU   be   Presenfc  in la,«°
livefy     horses     and     harness. : numbon.
Apply to P. Burns & Co.. Hos- A.'store of good things is in
mer, li. ('. 30-tf j store for Hosmer people at the
Mr. and Mrs. Bruce entertained a  number of their friends
it a whist party, Wednesday
evening, March 2nd. The pretty
prizes  being awarded  to Mrs.
wanton and Robt, McTaggert.
A dainty supper was sorved and
all went home well pleased with
the enjoyable evening they had
spent
The snowstorm of Friday,
Saturday and .Sunday, was a
sure enough bad one and the
result was a paralysis of traffic,
both railroads suffering heavily.
There was a bad slide on the C.
P. R. about two miles west, the
snow was said to bo 30 feet
deep on tho track. In a few
hours it was cleared off and
traffic was resumed.
Dr. White, who lectures on
^Saturday night and preaches
on Sunday morning is probably
the best known Methodist minister in B. C. Ho is eloquent,
and his warm hearty generous
disposition in his capacity as
Superintendent of Missions, has
gained for him friends in all
parts of the Dominion. His
genius and ability was so highly appreciated that the University of Toronto, confered upon
him the degree of Doctor of
Divinity. The pastor of the
church invites the friends of all
denominations at the services
on Sunday morning.
I. , . ■ .	
School Meeting
Last Saturday night, on account of the recent fall of
snow, not as many as was expected attended the meeting,
which was called by the school
trustees and the teacher, for
the purpose of arranging the
program for the new school
opening, also to raise funds for
the commencement of a school
library. There was only ten
present and all were unanimously in favor with the scheme in
view and convinced that the
town in general would give
their heartiest support. Under the circumstances it was
decided to call a meeting later
for the purpose of forming
committees and arranging details, hoping to have a fuller
representation of the people,
believing there is nothing like
co-operation for success. The
books would be selected from
the list authorized by the government and are classified as
science, fiction, geographs and
myth. Tho parents and other
grown up people generally use
these books as much as the
senior classes, therefore the
help of everybody is wanted.
Come to the meeting next Monday night at 8 o'clock in the
old school house, so that the
meeting may be the means of
commencing a library that will
be a credit to Hosmer.
111 .* i i i .* i <.
i..  was
Methodist church, Saturday
evening. March 5th,   Rev. .J. 11.
White, Doctor of Divinity, will
I givo an account of his journey
Snowslides in the Kootenay
The sudden thaw which com-
uoncod on Saturday following
a heavy rain fall of snow has
started inumerable snow slides
all over Kootenay. The Great
Northern line just out of Nelson on the summit was buried
under four slides. No train has
passed over tho line since Saturday afternoon and it will be
some days before tho line is
open for traffic. In tho Sheep
Creek   camp   a   slide    carried
,"'"1-:away the
louse
Kootenay  Bell  bunk
Jin* Burgilus is in the hospital
feir repairs, Joseph is an expert man with the BllW, lie
made a cut  into the board he
was standing on and disappear-  lV",n  tne  Vukon   to Vict
John Patterson, a Coal CreekIed down the coal  chute  for 5.) illustrating the same  by  over! house, but no one was injured.
resident,   spent   Saturday   and feot. 120 beautiful limelight pictures, other slides aj:e reported from
Sunday in town. When   n   stranger  drops in | Th? doctorunj3 boen gjving this j Sniadon nnd points further north
town, jolly him.   Toll him thi
is a great little city—and  so it, ___
Don't   discourage   him   by fnces, so Hosmer people should     Tho   news   was   received   at
"cave   no   stone    unturned   to  Slocan City a few days ago of
lear aiuLsoe this treat  cm Sat-I
 i I urday night.
e^Cltxl J ***
The season's musical event at
the Hosmer opera house, Friday evening. March 11th.
A. Mathieson's idea regarding
a competition among the ladies
to show who are the prize
bakers of the town is a good
one.    Sec ad in this i.-sue.
Mr. and Mrs. Sam Roleau, of
Fernie. Spent a \^w class in
(own this week visiting friends.
Chamberlain's Stomach and
Liver Tablets invariably bring
relief In women suffering from
chronic constipation, headache,
biliousness, dizziness, sallowness
of the -kin and dyspepsia, Sold
by all druggists.
1 lecture   at
I "'^ere   he
tho    coast
has crowdc
town
audi-
is.
speaking \\
Lead   him
st ruck     a
but no fatalities are mentioned.
Tho   news   was   received
I of
your neighbors,
to believe he- has
place   where
TERRIBLE LOSS OF LIFE
Two Trains Swept Down by Snowslide
Near Everett, Wash, Tuesday
-»A dispatch from Everett.
Wash, to the Lethbridge Herald
of March 1st., says that details
of the disaster that overwhelmed the Great Northern passenger trains when an avalanche
swept the trains and a portion
of the town of Wellington at
the west part of the Cascade
tunnel down the mountain side
arc received and the horror
grows.
Twenty-three lives are known
to have been lost when the
mass of snow, loose stones and
uprooted trees hurled the curs
containing seventy sleeping persons over the narrow ledge of
the high line down to the bottom of the canyon, 200 feet
below.
A partial list of the dead and
injured follows:
Dead-Trainmaster Blackburn, of Everett; A. E. Long-
koyo secretary to Supt. O'Neill;
Louis Walker, Everett, cook on
Supt. O'Neill's car.- Seriously
injured:   J. I). Knrde, fireman.
The two trains that were carried by the great wave of ice
and snow were the westbound
Spokane Limited and the westbound transcontinental fast
mail. The list of the dead and
injured are believed to have
been passengers on the Spokane express, forty of whom
were on the train at the time
of the disaster.
Besides these, thirty workmen, were sleeping in the ill
fated coaches, which had been
imprisoned in the mountains
since Feb. 24th.
The avalanche rolled down
the mountain at 4.20 a. m. The
two trains with their locomotives, four powerful electric
motors, the depot, a water tank
were swept off the ledge and
deposited in a twisted mass of
wreckage at the foot of the
mountain.
The noise from the slide,
which was a mile long, could be
heard throughout the valley.
D. Cilea .Valentine, a driver
in the Maple Leaf Mine at
Blairmore, was killed by being
crushed between two cars at
Blairmore, Feb. 27th.
Chamberlain's Stomach and
Liver Tablets are safe, sure and
reliable, and have been praised
by thousands of women who
have been restored to health
through their gentle aid and
curative properties. Sold by
all druggists.
Lost—on Tuesday aft* moon
Feb. 8th. a Waltham watch in
gold case. A reward will be
paid it returned to this office.
A steam laundry will soon be
in operation at Blairmore.
Wanted—Waitressandacook.
Apply to Hosmer Hotel.
CHURCH DIRECTORY
Catholic Church—Muss every fortnight at Leithatiser's basement, 10:31)
o'clock, a. va. Rosary and Benediction at 7:30 p. m. J. Salles, 0. M. I.,
Ph, D.
PllKSBYTKRIAJJ Chcrch—D i v i n e
service in Odd Fellows Hall on Sunday evening, at 7:30 o'clock. Sunday
school at 2:30 p. in. Choir practice
every Friday at 8 o'clock p. m, C. K.
Nicoll, Missionary.
English Church Services—Held
fortnightly at the Hosmer Opera
House. Second Sunday. Kvensong ut
7:31) n. in. Fourth Sunday, Holy Communion at 11 a. in., Evensong at 7:30
p. in. Fifth Sunday, Evensong at 7:30
p. m. Briant N. Crowther, M. A.,
Curate in Charge.
Methodist Church—Rev. R. W.
Lee, Pastor. Sunday School 2:30; afternoon class for adults, 3:30; Divine
service, 7:30; choir practice Wednesdays, 8 p. m. The pastor's residence
adjoins the church, and he will always welcome any one who colls upon him for advice or help in any direction. He will be glad to be notified of any case of sickness. Strangers will be always welcome.
HORSES FOR SALE
Twenty head work horses
for sale, 1200 to 1500, all
in geed wcrking condition
Apply to
West Canadian Collieries, Ltd.
BLAIRMORE, ALBEKTA
Italian Store
Cusano & Jioia, Props.
Groceries, Fruits, Tobaccos and
Confectionery
Front Street Hosmer, B. C.
THE    HOSMER    DAIRY
G. M. HEDLEY, Prop.
Fresh Milk and Cream deliv- .
ered to all parts of the town.    ', .
HOSMER, B. C. )|
-THE-
,1
Hosmer Hospital
Accommodation for
Maternity Cases
For rates, etc.
apply to I
THE MATRON C„
HOSMER, B. C. I
kMck~kiritirin\
k AAA ft ft A ftftft ftftft-'
JHIXONC&   FERGUSON
■■■■■■■ PltimberS m—mmm
Tinsmiths, Steamfitters
V
ESTIMATES FURNISHED ON ALL KINDS OF WORK
Shop: Rear Bennett Bros. Hardware Store
HOSMER, B. C.
jpyyyy y yyyyyy yy Y ¥■¥¥¥¥ ¥¥ frfr ¥¥¥¥¥¥■¥■¥ ■¥¥¥¥¥¥'
JP*
If it is PORTRAITS in Oil, Water Olor
or Crayon that you want, see
ROBSON
The PHOTOGRAPHER
All kinds of Fancy Painting or Decoration
Work done on short notice
Ii
Read and Inwardly Digest
IN ORDER TO INTRODUCE
SEAL of ALBERTA
"The Faultless Flour"
To the ladies of Hosmer, we have decided to give the following prizes every week   §|
for the next four weeks, for the BEST  BREAD made from  "SEAL OF ALBERTA," bought from us:
First Prize-One 98 lb. sack of Seal of Alberta,  "The
Faultless Flour"
Second Prize—One 49 lb. sack of Seal of Alberta,   "The %
Faultless Flour"
Third Prize-One 24 lb. sack of Seal of Alberta,   "The |
Faultless Flour''
The prizes will be distributed in our store on Saturday,   March 5th; Saturday,   |
March I2th; Saturday, March 19th and Saturday, March 26th at  5 o'clock in the  j|'
afternoon.    Judges will be selected by R. W. Rogers.    No person will  be allowed
prizes twice.
Fully nine ont   of  every   ten
cases of rheumatism  is simply
rheumatism of the muscles due
111   cold   or   ill ni]i.  or chronic
neither  of   which
the death of Frank Griffin, j
owner and locator of the West-
mount mine at Ten-Mile.
Deceased had heen in ill health
for some months and went to
Toronto last November for
treatment.
Medicines that aid nnture nre
people live.
For a comfortable share or a
neat, artistic hair-trim visit the
shop nf Sum Snell, fill I'
Are vou frequently hoarse? lheumatism
Do you have that annoying require any internal treatment, ajways most successful, Cham-
tickling in your throat? .Does All that is needed to afford re- berlain's Cough Remedy nets
your cough annoy you at night, lief is the free application of on this plan. It loosens the
and do you raise mucus in the Chamberlain's Liniment. Give cough, relieves the lungs, opens
morning? Do you want relief? it a trial. Yon aro certain to the secretions and aids nature
tf so, take Chamberlain's Cough be pleased with tho quick relief in restoring the system to a
Remedy and you will be  pleas- which il   nlTords.   .Sold  by all  healthy condition.   Sold by all
il.   Sold by all druggia
| druggists,
I druggists.
WE GIVE THESE PRIZES for the reason that we are certain that the slogan
the Calgary Milling Company are so fond of applying to their Seal of Alberta, viz:
"The Faultless Flour," is fully upheld by the product.
We STORE gf SATISFACTION
A MATHIESON
We are the sole agents for this Flour in Hosmer
Main Street
is
■W litf ■& *ii
Hosmer, B. C.

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