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The Islander Mar 21, 1914

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Array A
I - j;
ZegaliUon Library   j
THEISLANDER
Largest Circulation in the Comox District.
VOU V., No. 1
THE ISLANDER. CUMBERLAND, B.C., SATURDAY. MAR. 21.1914
Subscription price, $1.50 per yew
NODE IGNORANT
THAN ELOQUENT
Liberal aSp-Mkers in the House ef
Commons are Sunmsiiigly
HI Informed.
There is a popular impression
that the House of Commons is
the only place on earth where
men. do not get up to talk of
something they know nothing
about This is a simple, if natural
delusion. Rather the reverse is
true if the recent debate in the
Federal House on the mining
troubles on the Island is any
criterion. After reading the various speeches as reported in
Hansard, it may be said broadly
that no men could have said more
and known less of any subject
than some of the speakers who
took part in the discussion, A
few examples from the speeches,
says the Nanaimo Herald, no
doubt, make interesting reading
locally.
To begin with Mr. Verville
who professes to be a labor member, and claims to be thoroughly
posted on the subject He stated
that "from the beginning to the
end the men had done all in their
power to get thi* strike settled;
they even went to the provincial
government" Prom the beginning to the end the leaders of the
strike have turned down all overtures to end the strike. They
made the recognition of their organization the primary basis of
all negotiations and have done
all in their power to keep the
strike on.
Another speaker was Mr. A .F.
Carroll, member for South Cape
Breton. In spite of all the department returns and all manner of
corrections, he still asserted that
"from .September, 1912. up to
August, 1913, practically nothing
was done in reference to this
matter." ln the same hardy mood
he tried to  establish that the
article by Farripgtou in the U-
nited Mine Workers Journal was
[really a speech delivered at Indianapolis, and therefore not as
I binding as a signed article. He
. was ready to swear that the real
] reason of the Mine Workers corn-
ling into British Columbia was to
[establish the same working cor.
[jitions, wages and hours of labor
in Washington. This means
that they came here to reduce
{/ages and lengthen the working
lay. There was only one man
(ommitted an atrocity during the
oubles, and Minister Crothers
(lade no attempt to keep out the
[ndesirable aliens, the scum of
j hina, the scum of Japan, the
(unmen and the thugs. The riot
I'd not occur^until-etaese thugs
■nd aliens, the scum of China
lid  Japan,   appeared on the
freets of tha mining towns of &
in full force, apparently an
I ,?anized crowd to show   the
Inkers in these districts that
I'e strikebreakers were the boss*
I of the situation." What a pic-
lire of Nanaimo in August last
(-•ar,
] Mr. Carroll showed himself
fgger ignoramous than ever in
regard to the Fernie strike. And
when he had said all he had to
confess that he was the paid
lawyer of the Provincial Work-
mens Association and conducted
all the actions against the Mine
workers during the Nova Scotia
strike. In this debate he tore his
passion to pieces over the way
the Mine Workers had been
treated in British Columbia.
This speaker was backed up
with equal ignorance by Mr. F.
B. Carvell the member for Carle-
ton. He trotted out all the old
stories which have now been exploded as to the causes of the
trouble, and naturally preferred
the pamphlet of the Rev. Mr.
Hedley to the report of Commissioner Price. Sir Wilfred
Laurier was equally well informed. In his best style he declared
that Minister Crothers "allowed
the month of December to pass
January, February, March, and
April to pass, and all that time
he must have been aware that
there was seething trouble in
NANAIMO. And yet he did
NOTHING. " Sir Wilfred had
much better have said nothing.
Then finally there was Mr. E.
M. Macdonald, the member for
Pictou. This gentleman also was
supposed to have read the returns
and report of Mr. Price, but he
found the story of the inception
of the trouble in the Hedley
pamphlet The Rev. Mr. Hedley
states that the gas committee
reported gas in dangerous quantities and the report .was corroborated by the mining inspector.
The gas committee reported
nothing of the kind, but the Rev.
Mr. Hedley knew better than the
gas committee, and Mr. Macdonald knows he knew better than
the gas committee as being a
man right on the spot
As throwing a little light on
the character of Mr. Macdonald
letters of his were quoted by
Minister Crothers in which he
urged Mr. McKenzie King, then
Minister of Labor, to prosecute
the Mine Workers leaders in
Nova Scotia. Even this exposure
of his hyprocrisy did not prevent
the member for Pictou from
serving out a further rehash of
the Hedley pamphlet.
REPORT CAUSES
BRAIN STORM
Coal Operators on Vancouver
Island have Nothing to
Settle.
PROVINCIAL POLICE COURT
Before Jas. Abrams S.M.
Adam Petrich an austrian was
on Tuesday charged with having
a revolver in his possession with
out having first obtained permission. The accused pleaded
guilty and was fined $50 and
costs or in default 3 months in
Nanaimo jail with hard labor.
Samuel Morris a colored gentle
man appeared before His Worship and was remanded for eight
days. Morris had evidently been
on the war path judging from
the appearence of his eyes and
face.
The audience of Grace Methodist Church on Sunday evening
received a musical treat in the
singing of the duet by Mrs. E.
Baldwin and W. C. Edwards
entitled "Saved by Grace". The
still and motionless congregation
during the singing expressed
approval and appreciation.
We came to the conclusion
some time ago that we had said
enough concerning the U.M.W of
A., and tried to forget that the
organization had ever existed in
this community. But the Colonist
report on Sunday that there were
some signs of a settlement of lhe
strike (which was corrected in
Tuesday's issue) has caused us
to have something more to say.
Upon reading the item in the
Colonist, which we reproduce
below, The Islander interviewed Mr. George W. Clinton, general superintendent of the Canadian Collier.es (Dunsmuir) Ltd.,
who stated that the Canadian
Collieries had nothing to settle,
neither were they seeking a
settlement At the local mines
everything was settled up as far
as they were concerned. So the
brain storm of the few remaining
agitators came to naught that
was caused by the Colonist news
item. It is unreasonnble in the
extreme to think that the local
management would seek any
settlement when they have men
and equipment sufficient to produce 3,000 tons of coal per day.
The following appeared in Sundays Colonist:—
A sincere attempt to solve the
difficulties now obtaining in the
coal mining area of Vancouver
Island is being made, according
to the reports that are received
from an excellent authority.
The movement, it is understood
has originated with the mine
operators, not only of one district
but of the entire area affected,
and there are high hopes entertained that, as a result of a series
of conferences that have been
inaugurated, a speedy settlement
of the present troubles will be
brought about.
Several of the leading mine
operators on the Island were in
the city yesterday conferring
with the government as to what
possible steps might be taken to
bridge over the differences that
have existed between the mine
owners and the workers. No de
finite information on. the matter
was issued yesterday, but the
fact that the conference had
taken place was regarded as a
justification for maintaining an
opimistic outlook on the question
of the strike or lockout at Nanai-
mo and the other points concern.-
ed. j
Should a settlement of the
present differences between the
employers and the employees be
effected within a reasonable
short period of time, it is claimed
that no lengthy period would
elapse before the mines were
placed in full working condition
again. While many of the properties were severely damaged duringthe/ riots, the interval has
been utilized as far as possible in
remedying any injuries that may
have been afflicted. Apart from
flooding, which occured in one or
two instances, it is -believed that
wi. hin a short time after resumption the mines could be operated
at practically the limit of production.
No details of any scheme of
settlement have yet been outlined, and the men themselves
have not been approached on the
subject, but, at the same time, it
is considered that any advance
towards settlement can best be
undertakn quietly.
In conversation with a well-
known coal operator yesterday,
The Colonist was informed that
there were many reasons why an
earnest effort should be made to
secure a basis of settlement at
the present time. The condition
of things at Nanaimo and in the
other strike centers, he said, was
almost a sufficient motive in itself
to arouse the effort now being
made, but he contended that
there were strong outside influences at work which made it
imperative, as much in the interest of the coal industry of the
Island as on behalf of the darties
immediately concerned in the
dispute, that the mines should
resume producing at as early a
date as possible.
MASQUERADE BALL
GREAT SUCCESS
The following editorial appeared, in the next issue of the Colonist,
In a news item in Sunday's
Colonist it was stated that the
mine operators on Vancouver
Island had initiated a movement
to settle the strike and had met
the goverment with that object.
This was quite wrong. The mine
operators came to Victoria at the
request of the Premier, who
wished to have an informal talk
with them over the situation at
the mines before he went East,
They assured him that they were
quite satisfied with existing con
ditions so far as the number of
men at work and the output of
coal are concerned.
Brilliant Scene at Cumberland
Firemen's Masked
Ball.     ■
The fifteenth annual masquerade ball held in the Cumberland
Hall on Tuesday evening was
beyound doubt the big event of
the season. The Cumberland
and Union Fire Department had
spared no pains to make it a huge
success. The gallery and floor
space was taxed to its utmost
capacity with spectators and
maskers. The visitors from Cou: -
tenay and Comox carried away
most of the prizes. The receipts
of the evening were very gratifying to the firemen. The prize
list was as follows:-
Best Dressed Lady, Miss Alice
Gibson, Courtenay
Best Dressed Gent, Mr. Willie
Urquhart. Courtenay
Sustained Character, lady, Miss
Nellie Cobbert.
Sustained Character, gent, Mr.
La Pete
National Character, lady, Miss
Marian Walker
National  Character,  gent, Mr,
Marsh
Flower Girl, Miss Mary Walker
Clown, Mr. F. Hurford
Advertising Character, Mrs. Reid
Good, Courtenay
Best Group of 3 or more, Misses
A. and M. Hayman and Martha
Hunden
2nd Best Advertising Character,
Mrs. Rod McCuish
Waltz, Mrs. Woods and Mr. Urquhart
Two-Step, Miss Celia Davjs and
James Whyte
Tombola, Miss Dolly Ramsay
DO NOT MAKE AGREEMENTS
TO BREAK THEM.
The following appeared in the
March issue of the Typographical
Journal:*—
New Westminister was visited
on January 27 by the delegates
attending the annual convention
of the British Columbia Federation of Labor. It was, by the way
the largest convention the federation has ever' held, some 200
delegates being present. No. 632
was represented by three  delegates, H. Gibb, K. A. Stoney and
W. E. Maiden. At time of writing they had not reported, but
your     correspondent   gathered
from conversing with one of the
delega es, that the convention
was practically controlled by two
different factions of socialists,
and between the two cutting each
other's throats, it was very seldom that an independant delegate
had the floor. Our delegates were
jeered on one accasion when a
referendum vote was taken on
the sympathetic strike question.
The manner in which the vote
was put to the delegates gave
themnoalternative; if they voted
in favor, all well and good; if they
voted not as in favor, it meant
that they upheld military rule.
One of our delegates remarked
that on accountof our agreement
with our employers it was prohibitive to go out on a sympathetic strike (jeers and catcalls). To
this one of the delegates said that
any one who would not break an
agreement with his employer for
such a cause was not fr: to belong
to any union of workingmen. Our
delegates informed them that wc
did not make agreements we did
not intend to keep, and pointed
to the success and strength of the
typographical union as it is today
as a proof that we had the right
system in thi-usacal
PRAISES TIMBER ROYALTY
ACT.
Many are the compliments received by Hon. William R. Ross,
Minister of Lands, for the Timber Royalty Bill in which the principle of profit-sharing in the
timber resource was a feature,
Prominent Canadians and residents of the United States, including members of the cabinet
of that country, have sent letters
warmly commending the new Act.
Hon. Clifford Sifton. President
of the Canadian Commission of
Conservation, writes congratulat-
the Minister of Lands and says:
"I have repeatedly said during
the last year that British
Columbia was the most advanced
province in the dominion so far
as attention to the question of
forest protection was concerned,
and I may now say th*i sanie
thing in regard to the question
of disposition of timber belonging
to the province,"
Henry S. Graves, Chief Forester of the United States, writes:
"I have just learned of the
recent action by British Columbia
with reference to the royalty on
public timber. I want to express
my pleasure at the great progress
which has been made * in your
country and to extend my heartiest congratulations..„ The, recognition of the right of the public
to share in the increasing value
of public timber, is, in my opinion,
a vital one."
LOCAL NEWS.
Local News on back page.
Henry Reifle  of   Vancouver
visited the city on Sunday.
L. A. Mounce of Vancouver
arrived on Tuesday.
Robert Grant sr. of Victoria
his daughter Miss.   Enda
Grant are here on a visit.
Abram Haywood sr. will erect
a residence on the corner of
Fourth Street and Derwent
Avenue.
West Cumberland Conservative
Band has already received notice
of two important engagements
during the summer.
W. A. Wagenhouser of Van*
couven has sold out his business
in that city and is here on a
business visit combined with
pleasure.
A concert wil be held under the
auspicies of the Cumberland
Choral Society in the Methodist
Church on Thursday March 26th
commencing at 8 p.m. tickets 60r.
Joseph Walker proprietor of
the New England Hotel will in
course of a few days have the
best bar in the town. He is about
to erect an hotel bar which will
be when completed 35 ft long
and 12ft. high including elaborate
mirrors.
Robert Summerville was held
up at West Cumberland on Tuesday evening by an unknown man
who asked him to hand over his
cash but Sommerville instead of
doing so struck out and knocked
the unknown off the sidewalk.
Two Union strikers molested
one of the workers on Union
Street on Monday. But for the
assistance of another worker who
appeared on the scene the boy
would have got the worst of it.
the two strikers made themselves
scarce in a hurry.
The West Cumberland Con*,
servative Band are hard at work
practicing for the 24th Maj'.
There is no doubt that when the
time arrives the band will come
up to expectations.
The basket social held in tho
club hall on monday evening
under the anspicies of the Weat
Cumberland Conservative Band
was a grand success from every
point of view. The dancing was
good. The baskets when put up
by auction varied in prices from
*3.a50 to $5.25. The receipts for
the evening were $97.00 which
will be handed over to the treasurer of the band.
The Cumberland branch of the
Women's Christian Temperance
Union announces its purpose, of
giving a prize of twenty-five
dollars to the home showing the
most improvement in itssurround-
ings during the summer. Judge*
selected from the citizens will be
appointed by the organization to
decide upon the prize winner.
On Friday Michael MCa-CBRffe.
member of the U. M. W. of AS;
residing on the Roysto^jjaSd,
appeared in the City Police Court
charged with creating a disturbance on Third Street: The evidence showed lhat the accused
was drunk and disorderly also
abusing the police, who had
warned the prisoner on previbus
Dr. D.E. Kerr dentist will be
in Cumberland March 2<lth and
XaaaatUaasBAaals
occasions,   Thc presiding magistrate fined McAdam $10 and_ THE ISLANDER. CUMBERLAND. B.C.
LOW COUPS AIL
(BY ARTHUR APPLTN)
Ward, Lock ft Co., Limited, London, Melbourne snd Toronto
i
.Continned)
I shall believe anything you tell me,
Sir George, 8l.e replied simply.
His arms dropped to bis side and a
groan escaped his lips.     aV group of I which
laborers passed them and a farmer lagu to hide our identity trom her lath*
and his wlfo in a trap. They all 8a-lcri W)10 objected to the marriage; she
luied and   cheerfully   wished   tbem w^ a Spaniard and. a Catholic and I—
iing sometbtni, that had happened to
another man. lie reminded ■Unwell
that that perhaps was what he was doing.
1 remember nothing prior tc the accident, when 1 awoke k find myself
lying i'n the road by the rcqprland, anl
a little later, found, the dead body of
the chMin. ir in the ditch. The past
is a blank—all of my existence. 1
have no recollection ot any existence
save from the monunt I recovered consciousness on .lie Cranby road. Ther,
was niy luggage in the ear, tlie dead
body of my chauffeur; and papers and
lettc. s and a large sum of money i*i
my pocket—that's al'. Tlie first tiling
1 learned wet that 1 was a murderer,
the second, a little later, that 1 had a
wife living under an assume name
In London—thla very name of Soral—
we had used over two years
1
PRESIDENT
SUSPENDER
NONE SO-EASY
good-evening. Hetherington watched
Uiem out of sight. Moro gossip for
the fireside and tap room that evening.
Come back with me to tho Hal) and
1 wlll te'.l you, he whispered. 1 can't j
tell you here. I
Hn shook ills shoulders-- I have always apparently boon a blackguard..
He wailed :. icng time, l'eggy did
not move. He walked over to the
windows and stared out In' i the darkness
Woulu ,'t be so Cruel
Archbishop Ryan once attended
dinner given bin by the citizens, of
Philadelphia and a brilliant company
of men were present. Among others
were the president of the Pennsylvania railroad; ex-Attorney-General Mac
Veagh, counsel for -he road, and other
prominent railroad men.
Mr. MacVeagh, In talking to the
guest of thc evening, said: Your Grace,
among others you seo here a great
many railroad men. Tliero is a peculiarity of railroad men that even on
social occasiens you will find tbat they
always take their lawyer with them.
That is why I am here. Tlicy never
gt anywhere without tbelr counsel.
Now they have nearly everything that
men want, but I have a suggestion to
Wh..   Sue Wanted *   |
She walked into the public library I
and sweetly said: !
1 would like 'The Red Doat' please. |
The   librarian   diligently   searched1
the catalogue, and came back with:
——don't think we have sucli a "aook.
.Flushing a hit she sweetly said:
May tlie titlj be 'The Scarlet Yacht'?
Again, lie looked, with the Ernie result. Then with ;*.or pretty lingers
she went into her bag, consulted a
slip of paper and said:
Oh, I beg pardon. I mean the Uu*
.blyat.
She nodded and walked beside him. L^p ollt nnc ,,, onc. a p*.,,* silence*
They passed throng the lodge gates
up tlie drivo and at lhe front door
Hetherlngton dismounted and sent for
the groom. Tben lie led Pe gy into
his study and shutting the door, niade
her sit down. lie stoot' witli his
back to the fireplace, facing tho window. It was very dark, but be did
not turn on the light! what he had to
say was best said in the shadows.
Y'ou know that I love you—I told
you so beforo I went away. It's no
use disguising the truth—the time has
gone for pretence and 3hanis, but 1
ought never to have hinted at it, know
lr; what I knew, or fearing what I
feared, whichever you like. Thero is
one tblng whicli 1 didn't '.now then,
which I have learnt since. Ho paused.
lt will be very hard for you to believe
me.
She shook lies bead.
I'm married.
He did not look at ber; he waited a
littlt while but heard no sound. I
only discovered that fact when I went
to Iaondon.
Y'ou weren't married when you left
here*
Yes; but 1 didn't know lt. He
hca.d himself laugh.
Peggy rose, tben after a moment's
hesitation, sat down again. Is there
anything more i* tell?
Y'ou remember tho night I arrived
torn—an evil home-coming they said,
but even more evil than you or the
village suspects. It waB not enough
that 1 had killed my chauffeur through
an accident which might have been
avoided, but that sam« nigh*, as 1 sat
alone after dinner, a mat, canu to seo
me and told me that I had pased him
on the road. II, saw me stop tho motor, and getting out of lt, enter Deep-
shot Wood with a n-.r.n who had hailed
me on the road. I was abseut some
time, and when I reappeared I was
alone. I drove off in the car, but he
was suspicious; he searched the wood
and found there the dead body ot a
man—Oscar Soral by name. He accused me of murder and demanded a
big sum of money as the price of his
silence.     I paid It—that's all.
Hetheringtoi heard nothing for aome
time but the beating of his >.*n heart;
then the ticking of the clc.\ Joined In
keeping time with Lira. He wondered
If Peggy was ner going to speak, but
at last her voice came anu it was quite
calm and cold.
Did you kil. this man Soral?
I -*n't know. Ho wished she
wonld get up and leave him without
another word—he wondered why 6he
didn't. Any ether woman might bave
fled Bhrieking from the n ua, but not
no this girl; Bhe waa made of sterner
stun*.
Besides, she loved bim! she loved
him! He heard a tbousanf voices echo
those words mockingly. It was qui'e
dark now in the room and In. couldn't
see her face. He was grateful for
that.
Sir George, r.re you try'r . to frigb'.-
en me?   Y'ou must know.
The worst i.ad heen tail? nnd lie
found hiniB..L now speaking almost in
a natural voice, as if he wero deserib*
Tlie stars were beginning Uf. ^ t~ y0„ *.„, an cxcliangc with us
We can give you free passes on all the
railroads of the country. Now if you
would only give us—say a free pas3 to
Paradise by way ot exchange.
Ah no. said His Grace, with o mer-
rv twinkle in '.lis eye, that would never
do. I would not llko to separate tbem
from tbelr counsel.
KEEP TOUR
SKIN CLEM
With Dally
Use of
CUTICURA
SOAP
And occasional use of Cuticura Ointment. No other
emollients do so much to
prevent pore-clogging, pimples, blackheads, red, rough
hands, dandruff, itching
scalps and falling hair.
r-MtleiirafioaDandOlntmenure sold ilirousbotrt
reiiiriT A liberal sample .,1 eateb, vita as-psse
Skin Boos, KM-Dost-me. Addrtss Potter Drill*
Ofcir.corii..Ue»t.iK. Boston. »*"*
brooded over   h   plains and bills.
He had conic to tlio end ot bis
strength; he eould r.ot hear any more;
he only wanted Peggy to go and leave
him. so* tha*. lie might ordo. round tlie
car and hurry away iato tbe night and
lose himself In the Unknown, from
whence he bad apparently come.
But she didn't go—ahe .oved him!
Presently she spoke, and her voice
sounded to him like the voice of a
mother speaking to her child. Is
there no har.ee of your recovering
your memory': ls there not a singlo
incident In the paa' that, you can remember? Surely you have friends or
acquaintance] somewhere?
I've set a man to unra/e. my past,
but it's a waste of time. I' i married
to a woman I don't know and don't
love. But that doesn't count; what
does count is tlio dead body of a man
lying in DeeptLot Wood. | Good heavens, don't you see tbe horro * of tt? be
burst out suddenly. H*w can you
bear to be in the same room witli mo?
I don't believe you did kill this man,
she answered qu et'.y. Or if you did.
i. was in self defence. Hav you seen
him since? Did you recognize blm?
Didn't you question tlie man who accused you. Obviously b* was ouly a
blackmailer.
But Hetherington shook bis head
and threw up his hands despairingly.
Could any black-mailer invent such .a
story? *\nd ther« was proof, I tell
you, I've seej the dead man twice—
this'very afternoon. Som.. one has
been to visit n'm and there was no
longer any likeness left.
She rose from her chair 'hen, and
came towards blm. He str j* .bed out
his hands and stopped h- with a
fierce cry. Don't come near me—
don't touch me!
Y'ou've told no one e'.se of this loss
of memory? she ari.cd.
No ore. I gave Dr. Murrey a vague
hint but I trust no one. Oh, 1 suppose it's Impossible for ycu to believe,
but from my heart 1 swear I cannot
believe that I've taken a man's life; 1
have tried to bell vc It, but I can't
even now. The only solution of the
riddle Is that I am posscEset* of a dual
personality—1 live a double life. There
are times when this man who stands
before you now, is dead and another
man takes his plac
It was a woman and not girl wbo
stood before bim new; a woman transformed not by terro*. but by love. Before the accident happened, there could
bave only been one Sir George Hetherington or you would long ago have discovered your dual identity.- If an accident robbed you of you. memory,
another accident or sudden shock
might bring it back, but the: - must be
another way.
Sbo stoppe.. .speaking. Sbe was
looking at him, but he dared not face
her. He knew what wa; in her
thoughts. Presently she -pike again.
Of course tho idea of love n*. ver exists
tor us again—friendship * i'.. be Impossible. But you've confided in me and
you've made me as it were, responsible for your past lite. I'm going to
fight for that. Yoa can", prevent me.
Have you never 'bought—have you
never inquired whether an operation
might not giv you back your memory?
It you ouly knew, nothing would matter, very much. For you . i brave;
oh, yes, I know it, don't speak. When
ono knows the worst, ono can always
face the worst, and you would face it
bravely if you know.
Then he looked at her nnd even in
the darkness he saw her eyes clearly.
The splendid eyes of a woman wltll a
great rouI—ot a woman to whom love
waa life, and a woman v/ho could
[cheerfully sacrifice both ior the sake
of the life of the man tho loved.
Don't go a~ay, the continued, her
voice a littlo mstcady now, because in
that one brief glance each had seen
deep into the soul of the other. Stay
hero, ar.d tako tho one chance that Is
left : ou. There's one ma* you can
trust'witb your secret. You ought to
know that—l.o loves me, though lie
knows it's hopeless. Dr. Murray 1
mean. But — becauso he loves me he
will be faithful. You oan trust hlui;
tell bim everything, and ask blm if he
thinks an operation might give you
back your memory. I remember he
told i c that you had received a terrible blow on the skull which might
have killed anotlnr man. If the bone
is pressing on the brain, that is
e.iough to count foi—everyt'.'.r.g. Wlll
you tell blm tonight, get his opinion
and his decision?
(To be Continued)
W. N. U. 986
No Wonder ehe blushed
That's a nice-looking fo 'ow who's
just come in, said the young man who
was dining with bis best girl. Is he a
friend of yours?
Yes, indeed, 1 know him well, laughed the maiden,
Shall I ask blm to Join us?
Oh, George! said the girl, blushing,
this is so sudden.
Sui'.den? What <lo you mean? he asked in aurprlie. '
Why—why, that's our youn
ter.
Which Was Wo-te
A farmer LuyiLg somo tools in a
hardware store, was asked by tlio proprietor If he did not want to buy a
bicycle.
A bicycle won't e.*.t its head oft. said
tho salesman, and you can ride it
around your farm. They're cheap now
and 1 can let you have one for thirty-
five dollars.
I guess I'd ther put .' e thirty-live
into a cow, said tlie farmer re:.ectlve-
ly*
Ha-ha, laughed the hardware man.
you'd look mighty foolish, riding round
your farm on a cow, now, wouldn't
you?
Well, dur.no, said the farmer, no
more foolish than I would milking a
bicycle.
He Had Hl'.i
The Bishop of London was to perform the ceremony at a very smart
wedding. As usual a grent crowd of
people stood about the door* and lined
up on each side of tho strip of red
carpet. Magnificent carriages and
motor cars rolled up and disgorged the
splendidly dressed guests, but at the
end ot a long string of fine equipago
came a deplorable, ramshackle old
four-wheeler. It drew up gloomily
opposite the strip of red carpet.
A couple of policemen dashed at the
cabby.
Here, hi, they shouted. You can't
stop here! Tlie Bishop's lust coming
along.
The old cabby regarded Ihem wilb a
scornful ey<\
Keep yer 'air on! I've got tbo old
buffer inside:
And the Bishop opened the dooi* r*.nd
stepped out.
Oh, But it Was Cruel
A woman cut ;red a railway train
crowded with winter tourists i.nd hnt**
peued to tako a seat in front of a
newly marked couple. She was hartl-
Iv seatPd before thp couple began making remarks about her which some of
the passenger   must have beard.
Her last yea-'s bonnet and cloak
were freely criticized, with more or
loss giggling on the bride's **art: a:if*
there is no te'.linc what .might have
eom'e next if thp woman bad not put
a sii'.ilen stop to ti.p conversation by a
bit of clever, feminine strategy.
She turned her bead, noticed th**'
the h ide was considerably older than
tlie "iridegroum, and in the •.inootheat
of tones said:
Mi dam, will you please hav.* your
son remove IiIb feet from the back
niy chair.
The information editor received this
letter from a fresh youth:
Kindly tell i-.p why a girl closes her
eyes wben a leilow kisses hor.
The editor replied:
If you will -end us your photograph
we may be able to tell you tlie reason.
WONDERFr WHY
And Found the Answer
minis-
Many pale, sickly persons wonder
for years why tbej bave to suffer so.
r.nd eventually discover that tho drug
—calfeiii-i—in tea and coffee is tbo
mal.i cans,  r* the trouble.
"1 was always vr*ry fond of coffee
and drank it every day. I never had
much fies i and often wond red why
I was always so pale, thin and weak.
"About five years ago my health
completely broke down and ' was confined to my bed. My ?toinac: was in
such condition -hat I could htrdly
take sufficient nourishment to sustain
lite.
"During tbis time 1 was drinkln*1
.'Offee. didn't tblnk I could do without
It. (Tea Ib just r.s harmful because
tt contMns jaffeine, the aame drug
lound in  i-.ftee)
"After iwliilo I came to the conclusion that off*3*? was lu. ■tli me, and
decided to givo It up and try Postum.
When It was made right—dark and
rich—1 soon becahi* very fond ot It.
"In one week I began to feel better.
I ould eat more and sleep better. My
sick headaches were less frequent, and
within llvt mo-ths I looked an., felt
like i now being, headaehj spells entirely gone.
"My health continued to improve
and today 1 am wel. and strong, weigh
148 lbs. I attribute my present
health to the life-giving quallilo of
Postum." ,      „   i
Name give*- by Canadl.vi Postum
Co., Windsor, Ont. Read "Tbo Road
to Wellville," ln pkga.
Postum now cones ln two forms:
Regular Postum—must b • boiled.
Instant Postum--ls a soluble powder. A teaspoonful dissolves quickly
in a cup ot hot wat**- and, with cream
Bnd sugar, mai-es a delicious beverage
Instantly.   Grocers sell both kinds.
"Thore'a a Reason" for Postum.
Wouldn't Mind That
An Italian who kept a fruit stand
was much annoyed by possible customers who made a practice of handling tbe fruit and pinching It, thereby leaving it softened and often spoiled. Esa3perated beyond endurance
he finally put up a sign which read:
'If yoi) must pincba da fruit—pincha
i.'a cocoanut.'
A  Personal Application
Say, Parson, said Elder Berry at tho
cburcb board meeting, here nro tlie re
Bigaations of all ot the .luatet choir.
My, my, said Doctor Fourthly in dls
tress, what's thc trouble?
Your announcement Sunday morning, replied Elder i erry sternly; yon
know you Bald. Providenc- having
seen lit to afflict all our choir with
bad colds, let us join in slnglnj 'Praise
God From Whom all Blessla-r Flow.'
Causes j Ac.hn,**. No on*> can sny
with certain!) exactly wbat .muses the
establishing of asthmatic conditions.
Dust from Iho .atreet, from flowers,
from grain and various -ther irritants
may set up a trouble Impossible to Ir-
radicate except through a sure prepar-
a.ion such as Dr. J. D. Kellogg's Asthma Remedy. Uncerla!ntj may exist
as tc cause, but thero can bo no uncertainty regarding a remedy which
liar freed a generation of asthmatic
victims fro:a thia scourjro of tbe
bronchial tubes. It Is sold everywhere.
His Fear
Mrs. Cap-on informed her husband
one morning Jmt sbo expected a party
of guests that afternoon. Immediately
Mr. Capron .'.tv.ie and put ell tho umbrellas away, much to h's wife's astonishment.
Why, \Valtci, do you fear my guesta
will steal y^ur umbrellas? sbo asked
in an injured .one.
No. said WalUr, as he closed the
closet Joor; I'm afraid they will recognize tliem.
Mlnard's LiniT.ent Cures   Garget   In
Cowc
Probably She Would
Mrs. Newbride came hurriedly into
her husband's study one morning.
Herbert, dear, sh, said, this recipe
for lemon pie says to sit on ■*. hot stove
and stir constantly.
Well, Ali.-o, replied the doting bus-
band, if you do sit on a Lot stove I
think you will stir constantly.
Why Ditty Was Collected
What's this? demanded the customs officer, pointing to a package at
the bottom ot the tourlst'3 trunk.
That is a foreign book entitled 'Politeness, answered the man who had
just lauded. .   '
Well, 1 guess I'll have to charge yon
duty upon it. replied tho Inspector. It
competes with a small and struggling
industry in this country.
a\ small bey had been vaccinated,
and after tlie * ■ nation the doctor prepared to bamiago he soro arm, but
the *'0y objected
Put it on tlie other arm, doctor.
Way, no, ar..- tiie phyclclan, I want
to put the bandage on your sore arm,
so the joya at school won't hit you on
it.
Put it on tho otber arm, Doc, reiterated the small boy: you don't know
the fellows at our school.
In His Defense
Daughter, called the father from his
position at lho top of the stairs, at th *
well-known hour of 11.55, doesn't the*,
young man knew how to say good
night.?
Does he? ei ioed tbe young lady In
tho darkened ".lali; well, '. sbould say
he does. ft,
Useless
I heard tha. you were going to marry Archie Bluetloed, Esthe.*. Ia It
true? asked one young society woman
of another.
Marry him! I should say not! Why
I wouldn't kn:w wi at to do wilb him.
He can't ride, play tennis, golt or drive
a motor car!
Well, said the friend, ho can awlm
beautifully, you know.
You wouldn't want a husband that
you iad to keep In an aquarium would
you?
He Wanted Instruction
'■"erbt . and Helen wero Bitting on
the beach In .he moonlight when, moved by an Impulse he could not resist,
he suddenly l.isse'. '-cr.
Oil, Herbert, sho exclaimed, that'B
not  ight.
I'm very sorry, Helen, replied Herbert humbly, 1 did the best I knew
how. Won't you show mo tho proper
way?
James' Heroism
James returned homo from school
with strong evidences of a serious
disagreement with ome ot his associates. As he entered the room his
mother looker up and In su.prlse inquired: Why, .lames, how did you get
your clothes   o badly torn?
Trying to keep a   good   little  boy
from being licked.
I   That Is just llko my brave little son,
said the mother fondly.     Wbo was
tbo good little boy?
Me.
Prosperity hae ruined many n man,
remarked tlie moralizer.       ,** .,- r
Well, rejoined thc demoralizer, if I
was going to bo ruined at all I'd prefer prosperity*
Aged People
Mmetimea forget tkat poor teeth -and
improper mastication prevent soaErimt aouriah-
aent from ordinary food aad burdens the
digestive organ**, bat if every Bia or WOSVUs past
fifty would fully realise the bountiful, tOatainiag nourish,
ment in Scoff** Emulsion they would take it after every meal.
Scott's Emulsion contains the renowned body-building fats of
pure cod liver oil, so medically predigested that it distributes energy,
power and strength all thru the body and simplifies the stomach's work.
To people in declining years we say witli unmistakable earnestness
—Scott's Emulsion will add years to your life and life to your years.
AVOID AtXOHOUC SUBSTITUTES U-U
How to Tell
Before tbe guests had arrived for
tlie Christmas party the gl.ls had congregated ln the lo%er hall, conve-Bitlg
on    ,plcs neareBt their hearts.
Oh, girls! Bald Dolly; 1 knov; r. new
charm to tell when a .y cno loves you.
What Is It. queried tbe chorus?
You tak.) five or tix chestnuts, name
each after jonu man you know, and
then put tbem on the itove. The first
one that pops Is the ono -hat loves you.
H'm said thr beautiful young blonde,
to l.g with e new diamond ring; 1
inow a much bettor way thr.n that.
W.nt?
Select one man, place Mr on a sofa
In tlie pnrlo- and sit close to blm
with a dim light. If ho doesn't pop
It's time to chango the man on the
sofa.
Not Hie Fault
Didn't 1 tell you the last time you
were here, said the magistrate sternly
to the prisoner who had celebrated
Christmas not wisely but too well, that
I never wantctl you to come before me
again?
Yea, air, repiicd the prisoner; but I
couldn't mako tho policeman believe
it.
Minard's Liniment Cures Diphtheria
Helping 1. -ut
Mrs. Black woke her husband ono
nlgbt and whispered: Larry, there's
a burglar ln the parlor! Ho just
bumped against tho piauo and struck
several keys.
ls tbat so? said Larry. I'll go
right down there.
Oh, Larry, whispered the excited
wife, don't do anything ras:l
Rash! repl'-ei* thi husband. Why 1
am going to help blm. You don't
suppose he can move that piano from
the house wltuout assistance.
beware of Ointmenu wr CatarrH
that Contain Mercury,
as r.iemtry will surely destroy tbs sens* ot sstw
sad coraplct.lr dersnee the whole system whet
sntajriuK is ilircuch the mucous surlares. Slid
srlltij. shouli never he used Krept oa prcm-np
tiotis 'rom reputable physlcls'ia, as the dsmsfle they
wlll do Is ten fold to Uie sood you ran possibly de
rive from them. Hsll's Cstarrh Cure, msmifactiireo
by F. J. Cheney a Co.. Toledo, o.. contains no mer
fury, snd ts taUten inteni&lly, at-tlaa directly upon
tbe blood snd mucous surlares at Jle system. It
buying Hall's catarrh Cure be sure you 1st tin
aamitne, lt ts taken Internally snd made la Tt****
Ohio, by V. J. ISieney 4 Co. Testimonials Erse.
Bold hy Innaa'-ta. Price, Tic. per bottle,
'iattc U-Jl'9 !*•"•*us Pills tor ca»nsa.itti*io..
Mer*"lv 1 Mitter of Sielllnq
Yes. said the severe maiden lady.
the word 'mule' Is only 'malo' spelled
wrongly.
I snpnose so. responded the ertistv
bachelor; but nccirrnr; to the Latin
dictionary a wimaii Is 'mu'.ler.'
Muc'-i Easier
After I wnoh my fnco I look In the
mirror to aee if it's clean. Don't yon?
asked tlie sweet little girl of Bobble.
Don't havo to. aald Bobble; I just
look rt tho towel.
Enjoyed Hie W*rk
Twc men were discussing the friend
of their boyhood and mentioned one
who bad a r.-.ost unfortunate disposition.
I 7,-onder what became o*. him. said
one of tho men. It always seemed
to me that It would be imposs'ble for
him to And any work tlv.t would bi
congenial.
1 thought so. too, said his friend, but
we vcre w'reng.' He's got a job tbat
suits him perfectly. He's station
master in a place whero there are
eighty trains a day and he sees Borac*
body miss every one ot tbem.
The oft-quoted Plnnlgan has a rival
in Pat Donoluie. nn Ohio freight conductor whOBe train had a breakdown
recently. After the accident ho sent
this messago to Train Dlspn'cher
Straight*.
Two-twenty two lias a busted flue.
What wtll I do? Donol.ue.
This awakened the slumbering muse
In the telegraph ollice, and (ho reply
ron:
Wait. Two-twcnty-clght will tako
your freight.
Dispatcher Straight.
They Were Speei..
Mrs. Todd went Into a store to buy
some spring ginghams.
Are these colors fast? she asked
the clerk.
Yes; indeed, bo replied earnestly;
you ought to see them -when onco
they start to nn.
The Real Reason
" James start.d hi*, third helping ot
pur.dlng with t.e..ght
Once upon a time, James, admonished his mother, there was a little boy
wbo ate too much pudding, and ho
buret.
Jaiuoo conaideret. There ain't
sucb a thing as too much pudding, he
decided.
Tbere muat be, contended his mother, els..* why Jit* the little boy burst?
James passer* his plate tor the
fourth time, saying: Not enough boy.
II Make* New Friends Every Day.—
Nol n day goes by that Dr. Thomas'
Eclectrlc Oil does not widen the circle
of Its friends. Orders for It como
from the most unlikely places In tha
west and far norlh. for Its fame hat
travelled far. It deserves thii attention, for no oil has done ao much for
humanity. Its moderate cost make*
it caay to get
Her Threat
A certain young couple who wero
married some months ago never had a
cloud to mar their bapplno: a until recently, Ono morning the young wife
came to breakfast ln an extremely
sullen and unhappy mood. T > all her
husband's Inquiries sho returned
snappish anawers. She was ln no
better fraue of mind when ho camo
home that evening tor dinner, all ot
which mystified the young huahand.
"finally, late ln the evening. In reply
"o his insistent demands to know what
tbe matte* was, the wife burst Into
tears and replied; Henry, tf ever I
dream again thut you have kissed another woman I'll never speak to yoa
as long as I live!
An Absolute Remedy for Corns
Is Putnam's Painless Corn Extractor, aaf}, sure, always painless. A
hundred subatltutea prove he supremacy of Putnam'a Painless Corn Ex*.
tractor. Tho name tells the story.
It is pnlnleoa, It extracts coma, and
it does lt quickly. Sold by druggists,
price 25c.
The Cautious Patient
Well, well,   aid Dr. Blgblll, as h»
mot a former patient on the atreet,
I am glad to aoe   you   again,   Mr.
Brown.    How are you this morning?
FlrBt, Doctor, said Mr. Brown can-
ttounly, does It coat anything to tell
:cu?
Your troub**, said the optlmla't'C*
friend, may te a blessing It disguise,
Well, sighed tbe afflicted one, I must
say it ia the cleverest dlaguiae I ever
saw.
A Protra*' d Service
They must have* long church se*
vices in a certain Weaterr. towt
where a paper announced of a certaii
church: The regular services wilt
commence next Sunday at 3 p.m*, an#
continue until further notice.
Was Willing to Try It Again
Once when John D. Rockefeller wai
playing goif a negro lad crossed tho
links. Mr. .tockefeller had JuBt given
the ball a vigorous stroko, and the lad
r'cclved tbo missel squarely on tho
bend. It waa a heavy *lcv, but it
only stunned tbe boy •> little, and after
blluking his eyes foi a moment he was
himself again.
Mr. Rockefeller, who had rashed up
fearing that tho boy baf. been jadly
injured, was .elleved t> find that ho
took it so calmly, and pulling a five-
dollar bill frctn his pockJt. he gavi
It to the youngster as a salve for hla
feelings.
The boy looked at the bill and jrln*
ned with delight    Then 1*. * looked at
iMr. Rockefeller and Inquired: When
is you going to be playing again?
Uncle Sam Not Busy Enough
The young girl'waa visiting her girl
friend for tho lirst time after her marriage.
And does your husband give you all
tho money you want? sbe asked.
Why, no, dear. There isn't that
much money.
My dear, aald the professor's wife, *
the bene, bave scratched uj all tbat '
eggplant seed you. aowet.
Ah, jealousy! mused the profeBsor. i
and be Bat down and wrote a twenty-1
page article on tlio 'Development of 1
Envy ln tbo Minds ot the Lower Bipeds.
a	
Why Women Have Nerves
-■jl     The «*blues"-anxlely-sleeplessncsa!-and warnings of pain and i**-lf**l
*f "tress are sent by the nerves like flying messengers throughout body and %
limbs.    Such feelings may or may not be accompanied by backache or
headache or bearing down.  Thclocal disorders and Inflammation, II there
is any, should be treated with Dr. Pierce's Lotion Tablets.   Mien the
nervous system and the entire womanly make-up feels the tonic ellect ot
DR. PIERCE'S
FAVORITE PRESCRIPTION
when taken systematically and for any period of time. It Is not a''cure*alV*
but has given uniform satisfaction for over forty years, being designed ior
(At iingfe purpose ol curing woman's peculiar ailments.
Sold In liquid form or tablets by
druggists—or send 50 one-cent
stamps for a box of Dr. Pierce's
Favorite Prescription Tablets.
Ad. Dr. R.V. Pierce, Buffalo, N.Y. T-wy. TSLAXDER. CUMBERLAND, B.C.
&
-VACK KHlGHr
*^  .    ~    • .*   ,--igr*^«iEr;o^-. * -af
STOVE
POLISH
for Brightness
BLACK
APastk I
NoWaste I
AND LlGHTNESS.USEll
Knight - -.
NoDuaT
theEE Dalley 0> ltd.Hamilton.Ont.INoRust
That Was the One
Father was on the warpath wben ho
camo across Willie in an odd corner of
the garden. Willie, ho domanded,
havo you eaten an;* of those pears I
left In the cupbjard.
Pa, replied Wiilie, I cannot tell a lie.
I have not touched one.
William, senior, eyed William, Junior. Tben bow is it. asked the parent, ihat I fount' these threo cores ln
your bedroom, and tbere Is only one
pear In the cupboard?
Father, said Willie, calculating the
disti.eco to the gate, that's the one I
didn't touch.
BUY   FROM   THE   FACOP.Y   DIRECT
A S3.00 Waist for $1.39,  Postage  Paid
Smart, perfect fitting Waist exactly
as illustrated, made in a combination
material of pure wool and silk. Soft col
Inr nud cuffs with patch pockets. Shades
grey, mm: \ navy, light and dark
red: also white with b.nek, tan, akj* and
mauve stripe.    Sizes "I to 4'.'.
We absolutely -rnntee these Waists
to be (a.no value ami exactly as represented  or refund  •   ur money.
Do not overlook setidirg tho size and
shade you  desire.
We forward all orders by return mail.
Sepd bank, postal or express money
arder to
THE SELECT WAIST COMPANY
*   898  College   Street,  Toronto,   Ont.
a. "Wo  Aim   to  Please"
Willie's Question
The aged lady next door had been
qulto ill, so one mt.rr.ing Willie's mother said to her small son:
Willie, run over and see how old
Mrs. Smith ls this morning.
Willie departed, tut In a few minutes
ho came runnin.,* back and cold:
Sho says It ls none of your business.
Why, Willi ' exclaimed bis mother,
wbat did you ask?
Just what you told me to, said Willie; I said you* wanted to know bow
old she was.
On Equal Terms
* Every one r.t the' club thought my
hat was lovely, dear. Bald Mrs. Holt,
with a beaming smile. Of course it
was not expensive. I only paid
twenty-two dollars for it, but lt Is
quite as lovely as Mrs. Hinglcy'a,
which cost her seventy five dollars.
But tbe Ringley*. ate able to own
a more conspicuous pew in church
than wo are, fai   red her husband.
Well, ahe excinimed, radiant, thoy
can't come in any later than we can.
A Head Hard to Photograph
Ex-president Taft ond the lato Justice Harlan, of the Supreme Court,
while playing golf on the Murray Bay
links near Mr. Tatt's summer home,
were approach.d by a photographer,
who requested them to Bit for a pic-
turo togc ,er. Tbey consented, and
Justice Harlan, removing Lis cap, disclosed a thoughtful but decidedly bald
head which bis exertions caused to
glisten In the sunlight.
Vou want to look out, Judge, said
Mr. Taft, you'll foe the plate.
Certainly Looked That Way
A Westerner who haa never seen
tbe ocean was standing on the beach
and he asked th. beach guard:
Say, mister, do ycu fellows sell this
water In t.ise "jlks want to take a
sea bath in their rooms?
The beach guard thought ae would
jolly him along and told him lt was
fifteen cents a bucket, or two buckets
for a qtlarter.
Tho mnn seemed to think tbat waa
too expensive and went away. When
he came around again it was low tide.
Great Scott, said be, but you've sold
a lot since morning, haven't you?
A Cure for Fever and Ague.—Disturbance of the stomach at' liver always precede attacks of fever and
ague, showing derangement of the digestive organs and deterioration in
the quality of the blood. In these
ailments Parmeloe'c Vegetable Pills
have been found most effective, abating the fever and subduing tke ague
in a tew days. There are many who
are subject to these distressing disturbances and tc these there is no better preparation procurable as a means
of relief.
How the Minister ia Treated
Once upon a time a manager asked
George Ado if he had ever been taken
for a .uinlstr*.
No, replied Atle, hut I -nve been
treated like ono
* ow waa tlrat?
I havo been kept waiting for my salary six or seven months.
TWO WOMEN
SAVED FROM
OPERATIONS
By Lydia E Pinkham's Vego
table Compound—Their
Own Stories HereToId.
Edmonton, Alberta, Can. — *• I think
it is no more than right for me to thank
you for what your kind advice and Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound have
done for me.
"When 1 wrote toyou'some time ago I
was a very sick woman suffering from
female troubles. I had organic inflammation antl could not stand or walk any
distance. At last I waa confined to my
bed, and the doctor said I would have
to go through an operation, but this I
refused to do. A friend advised Lydia E.
Pinkham'*m Vegetable Compound, and
now, after*using three bottles of it, I
feel like a new woman. I most heartily
recommend yotar medicine to all women
who suffer with female troubles. I have
also taken Lydia E. Pinkham's Liver
Pills, and think they are fine. I will
never be without the medicine in the
house."—Mrs. Frank Emsley, 903 Columbia Avenue, Edmonton, Alberta.
The Other Case.
Beatrice, Neb.—"Just after my marriage my left side began to pain me and
the pain got so Bevere at times that I
suffered terribly with it I visited three
doctors and each one wanted to operate
on me but I would not consent to an operation. I heard of the good Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound was
doing for others and I used several bottles of it with the result that I haven't
been bothered with my side since then.
I am in good health and I have two little
(rirla "—"'r.«. R. B.CHILD. Beatrice. Neb.
His Orders
Mike had just been m:** foreman
of the sectioa „ .ng, but he knew the
reBpect duo b.i rank.
Finnegan, he said stern!" to nn argumentative assistant, Oi'll hov nothing
out jf yez but silence—and mighty
little of that!
Magic "Nerviline"
Ends Still Neck. Lumbago
Any Curable Muscular or Joint Pain Is
Instantly Relieved by Nerviline
His Choice
The father ot a bright young son
went to a wise friend for advice as to
what professioo the youth should be
fltt.'d for.     The sage was brusque.
Let the boy choose for himself, he
said.
But, protested the father, he's too
young.
Well, responded the wise man, put
him in a room alone with a book on
theology, an apple, a knife and somo
small change and see wbat he plays
with. If he chooses tbe book make
a minister of him; if be takes the
knife make bim a surgeon; if the apple, he'll make a farmer and lt bo
chooses the money, a banker.
Much relieved, tho father went away
but returned the next day in great distress, saying the plan hadn't worked
at all.
When I weut In, said the father, he
was sitting on the book, with the knife
la one band, and the money ln bis
pocket, and eating tho apple.
Ah! said the sage, that's easy, the
boy is a nntural-born lawyer.
Get  Trial Bottle To-day
You don't hav to wait all day to
get the kink out of a stilt neck if you
rub on Nervll.no. And you don't
need to go around complalrlng about
lumbago any more. You can :ub
such thlngB ,.v*ay very quickly with
Nerviline. It's the grandest liniment,
the quickest to penetrate, the speediest to ease muscular pain of any kind.
On- twenty-five cent trial bottle of
Nerviline will cure any attack of lum*
bago or lame back. This has been
proved a thousand times, just as It
was in the case of Mrs. E. J. Grayden,
of Caledonia, who writes:—"! wouldn't think of going to bed :ti. ut know*
Ing we had Nerviline In the house I
have used lt .or twenty odd .-ears nnd
appreciate Ub valu as a family remedy more nnd moro every Jay. If any
of the children gets a stiff neck, Nerviline cures qulck'y. If It is earache,
toothache, cold on the chest, sore
throat, Nerviline is always my standby. My husband race cured himself
of a frightful attack of lumbago by
Nerviline, and for a hundred ailments
that turn up in a large fan.ily Nerviline Is by far the best thiig to have
about you."
And it .'robably Would
This advertisement recently appeared in a Western paper:
Wanted—A man to undertake the
Bale of a new patent me^.clne. The
advertiser guarantees that lt will be
profitable to the undertaker.
A Useless Extravagance
Young Sandy returned home from
the fair with a barometer which be
had purchased and which ho showed
to his mother with much pride, explaining that it waa a machine for
telling when it's going li rain.
LoBh me, exclaimed the good dame,
sic an extravagance. What for dai
ye suppose a mercifu' Providence gled
yer feyther the rheumatism?
His Preference
A certain Island in tlie West Indies
is liable to the periodical advent of
earthquakes. One year before the
season of these terrestrial disturbances Mr. X, who lived In tlie danger
zone, sent his two sons to the hoiBa.
of a brother in England, to secure
tlieiu from the impending havoc.
Evidently the quiet of tho staid
English househol.i was disturbed by
the two young Wei'; Indians, for the
returning mai: steamer carried a message to Mr. X, brief but emphatic:
Hero are your boys; send me the
earthquake.
Minard's  Liniment Cures Colds  Etc.
Cause and Effect
Now, Harry, asked the Sunday-
school teacher, wha must we do before our sin* c.-.n be forgiven?
That's easy,   replied   Harry,
must sin.
Wo
The Real Question
My :on, said the father impressively; suppose I shot il be taken away
Suddenly, whnt would become of you?
Why. ssld the son Irreverently, I'd
stay here; the question is, what would
become of you?
'        That Made a Difference
She—No, George, I am afraid I cannot marry you. I want "a man who
possesses a noble ambition; whose
heart is set on attaining some high
and worthy object.
He—Well, don't I want you?
She—Oh. George! I am yours!
His One Chance
Y'ou eat very little, Mr. Smith, said
the maiden -*oyly to the baahful lover
who bad been invited to share the family Christmas dinner.
Yes, replied he, and for once bo
saw a chance and, graspin*,- his courage, lib said: Ti sit next to you, Miss
Grace, ls to loso one's appetite.
When Truce Was Called
Visitor—Didn't I   see   you   coming
from your neighbor's ju".   now?      I
thought, yon and   she   were   on   bad
terms.
Hostess—We are   we don't speak to
each other.     Wo do, however, hook
each other up.
POISONED BY
HIS OWN BLOOD
At a rel'gioua festival ir. tlie mid-
file ages a child was gilded all over fo
represent a golden Image of a saint.
He dijd in n few hours.     Why?
The pores ot f'e skin we"e clogged
with the material used for gilding, and
he was poisoned by the lmp.rities of
his own blood, which were prevented
from getting ou< through the skin.
This is a good :.lustration of the
effect of pore-clogging powder on the
general health, and should bo understood most particularly by mothers
who are accuBtomed to use powders
for chafln-; and Irritation of baby's
skin.
The action of Dr. chase's Ointment
is entirely different, because it ls absorbed by thv skin, Increases the activity of the pores, and while relieving Itching nd Irritation, it mak„s
the akin soft and smooth. Its marvellous healing properties are a revelation to persons who use lt for the
first time, aud it cannot prove other
than beneficial to the most tender
sklu.
Where They Were Alike
A doctor who had a custom of cultivating the lawn and walk in front of
his home every spring engaged O'Drbn
to do the Job. He went away for
three days ajid wben he returned
found that O'Brien waB waiting for Ills
money. The doctor was not satisfied
with his work and said: O'Brien, the
walk is covered with grav?. and dirt,
and in my estimation it's a had job.
O'Brien looked at him in surprise
for a moment and replied: Shore, Doc,
there's nny a bad job of yours covered with gravel and dirt.
GIN PILLS
art) Just as good
for the Bladder
as tbey aro for the Kidneys. If thero Is trouble in retaining urine—if
yoa have to get np throe or four times or ofteper durin*, tho night—if the
urine ls bot and scalding—Gin Pills wiU quickly relieve the tronblc.
They cure the kidneys and heal tho Irritated bladder, sue. a box;
6 for 13.50.   At all dealers or sont on receipt ot price.
Sample free if you mention tbis paper. \n
I lUINIUL HUG Aid CKWCAL CO.. OF CANADA LIMITED,      •      TORONTO.
you
No Wonder
pity any Instrument. Mr.
.To
Imp?
Yes, I'm a cornetist.
And your sister?
She's a pianist.
Does your mother play
She's a zitherist.
And your father?
He's a pessimist.
What's the shape of the earth? asked tho teacher, calling suddenly upon
Willie.
Round.
How Co yo*a know It's round?
All right, said Willie; it's square
then, I don't want to start any argument about it.
When are Faces Like Books
Father blundered Into   the   library
last night just as Frank kissed me,
said Grace.
Oh. how awful, said Mamie; and
what happened?
He pretended to look for a book, answered Grace. I asked blm very
aweetly what he wanted. He said:
I want 'A Study ln Scarlet: but I
didn't know we had three copies'.
He Knew How He Got It
That large bump running across the
back of your head, Bald the phrenologist, means tl you are ijcllued to
be curious, even to the point of recklessness.
I know lt, said the man who was
consulting Urn; I got Hint bump by
sticking my head luto the dumb-waiter shaft to see If the waiter was going up, and it was coming drwn.
How Could She Tell
Norah, said tin mistress, are these
French sardines that you bave given
me?
Sbure, 01 ion't know. Ma'am said
the new waitress; they were pasht
spakin' whin we opened the box.
Not Enough for Him
Every one who Jias visited St. Paul
and Minneapolis knows there Is a decided feeling rf rivalry between these
two large, growing cltie... A speaker, addressing an audience at St. Paul,
spoke of the reckless driving ot motor cars tbat r' that time was prevalent ln Minneapolis and expressed tho
hope that St. Paul would not folio./
the example of her rival city.
Why, said the speaker, I have heard
that Borne lour or five Inhajitants are
killed in Minneapolis by automobiles
every week.
And to his amazement from the audience came a voice: Waal it ain't
enough.
An English firm was prosecuted before the highest co,.rt for swindling
and unfair business dealings.
In acquitting them tbo Chief Justice
said with great rovulty: The evidence
presented la not quite sufflcim. to convict you, but if any one wishes to
know my opinion of your methods I
hope they will come to me.
Two day's afterwards the Arm's advertisement appeared ln all the London .lapers with the following well
displayed: Reference, by special permission, the Lord Chief 'Justice of
England.
W. .-I. U. 9S5
Have yon ever made a serious mistake In putting t*p a prescription? asked tt.' customer of the apothe; -ry.
Never, but once, said the drug mat.
I charged a mat thirty cents Instead
of a dollar and a half.
What the Warden Didn't Understand
Joseph Jefferson was once fishing,
wher. a game warder approached and
examined his catch, which consisted
of onc beautiful black bass. Then the
warden said:
It will cost you sir, just twenty-five
dollars for catching this black bass
out of season.
I take a black bass out of season?
exclaimed Jefferson. Never! Sucb
an idea never even occurre- to me. I'll
tell you how lt happened, as he bonded tho ■ warden a cigar. That black
bass was eating the bait oft my hooks
as fast as I could put It on, so I
thought I would just tie him up where
he couldn't go. at It until I got through
Ashing.
Her Age
The maiden lady of uncertain age
became very indignant when the census '.alter asked her age.
Did you see tlie girls next door? she
asked; the Hill twins?
Certainly, replied the census man,
And did they tell you their age?
Yes.
Well, she snapped as she shut the
door In his face, I'm Just aa old as
tbey are!
Oh, very well, said tho census man
to himself, and be wrote down in bis
book*
Jane Johnson—as old as the Hills,
EDDY'S
"2 to 1" and "3 In 1"
Washboards
as seed I*
■Sdy's
Matches
Na ether Washboards San SM
sine crimped by 'tie method **•*-
liar te EDDY'S waahksards.
This patented process ellmlnetM
the danger ef tern iinono-the
abuaa or hands—the unpleasantness
of .--ash-day.
It assures < omfoit tnd economy tt
.the greateet degree Insist ess
IDDVO
FARMERS
Can always make ours ef getting the highest   priest   fee   WHIAT,   I
•AK.LS.Y and FLAX, ky ehlpplng their ur   tote to   FOHT   WILLIAM
PORT ARTHUR end having them aold en commleelen b-
THOMPSON, SONS AND COMPANY
THB   WILL-KNOWN    FARMERS*  AOENTO
A00.;E6S raO-TOt V., QRAIN IXCHANOS, WINNIPEG
TO
Why He Was Safe in   ailing
While travelling In Scotland- an
American saw a very Ano shepherd
dog and trie*, to Induce hi. owner to
sell him.
.Vad ye be takiu' blm to America?
inquired the Scot.
Yos, Indeed! replied the American,
I thought as muckie, said the old
man.    I couldna palrt wi' Nero.
While they verc talking an English
tourist came along and the owner Bold
the dog tc him for leas than tho American had offered.
You told m you wouldn't sell that
dog, said the latter after the purchaser had deputed with the collie.
Na. nn, said the Scot; said I couldna palrt wi' him. Nero'll be ; nek in
a day or two, but he couldna swim the
Atlantic.
Minard's Liniment Cures Distemper
He Waa Right
Bobby, snld the Sunday-school
teacher, can you -ell me tho two
things necessary to baptism?
Yes'm, salt! Bobby; water and a
baby.
HEALTH FOR BABY
For Visitors Only
The late Madame Modjeska, when a
young bride, set to her mother for a
cook, who bad been brottgh. up In the
family. Faithful Aunt Vct.ctla's flrst
public try-out was at luncheon. The
lirst course wa to be crabs; hence
tbe necessity of a lecture on ptomaines
and food poisoning. Now, be sure,
Venetla, said tho young bride, to see
that the crabs are alive and healthy
before you put them on the Are.
The day cf the luncheon came,
bringing with it the crabs, which looked all that could be desired as they
were brought to the table.
Pinned to one of them, however, was
a note from tbe cook reading:
Miss Helen: Tbey was all klckln
and alive except this one.    Don't eat
it yourself.
Try   Murine  Eye   Remedy
If yon have Ked, Weak, Watery Eyes
or Granulated Eyelids.   Doesn't Smart
—Soothes Eye Pain.   Druggist* Sell
Murine Eyo Remedy. Liquid, 25c, SOc.
Murine. Eye Salve ln Aseptic Tubes,'
25c, SOc.    Eye Books Free by Mail, i   „., ., „    _
*--|-T-J ***** ********        Then, said Mr. Sargent, it was not
Murine Eyo aXewuds* Co.. Chloaao  like me.
It Wasn't Like S.rgent After All
Once, when John S. Sargent, the fl..
mous  painter,  was  at a banquet a
young lady whom ho kne*   very well
said to blm: Oh, Mr. Sargent, I saw
your latest painting and kissed lt because it was .jo much like you.
And did it kiss you in return.
Why, no,
To keep th baby healthy and
strong hla llttlo stomach must be kept
Bweet and his bowels working regularly— that Is th'. secret of health in little
onoc. The mother who keeps a supply of Baby's Own Tablets in iho house
can feel reasonably sure '.hat her little
ones are golns, to escape the results of
childhood ailments, for ti e Tablets Instantly reliev and euro such troubles
as constipation, indigestl *n, colda, colic and worniB by rogtilatlng-the Btoji-
tch and boweU. Concerning them
Mrs. Jas. DerocLe, Cache Bay, Ont,
writes: "I bi-v used Baby's Own Tablets for thr*>o years and ave always
found them he best rem.dy for llttls
ones." They are sold by medicine
dealers or by mall at 25 cents a box
from Tho Dr. Williams' Medicine Co.,
Brockville, On*.
How He Knew
No, complained tlie Scotch pro'ess-
or to his students; ye dlhna use your
faculties of ibsjrvatlon. Yo dlnna
use them.     For Instance	
Picking up Jar of chemicals of vile
odor he stuck ono An er Into lt and
then into his mouth.
Taste it, gentlemen! lie commanded, at* he passed the vessel from stu-
dent to stu[len(.*j;*•<   ■    *>   *., •
After each "one bad licked his Anger
and had fell rebtillon through his
whole soul, -he old professor exclaimed triumphantly:
I tol' ye so. Ye dlnna use your
faculties. For if he had ibsarved ye
would ha' seen that the Auger I stuck
Into the jar was nao tho linger 1 stuck
Into my mouth.
Children suffering from worms soo
show tho lymptoms, am. any mother
can detect the proser.co of theBo par-
i-sltcs by the writ' ings and fretting of
the lillii. Until expelled : nd the system cleared of them, the *hlld cannot regain Its health. Miller's Worm
Powders are prompt and elllclent, not
only for the eradication of worms,
but also as a tone" up for children
that are run down ln consequence.
Tut, Tut
She frownod on bim and called blm
Kr.,
Because, In fun, he merely kr.
And then, ' • spite,
Tho followljg right,
Tho naughty Mr. kr. ar.
YeB, said George, 1 told *-er I was
going to klBB her onco for every step
of the way.
What did she say?
Got awful mad. But I noticed that
sho wore hfr hobble si '-t.
They Didn't Meet
.'. minister ln a small Western town
surprised his audience one unday by
reac.ng tho following notice from tlie
pulpit.
The regular session of the Donkey
Club will be held as usual after tho
service. Members will line np Just
outside the door, make remarks and
stare at the ladies who pass, as ls
their custom.
Tho club didn't meet that Sunday,    j
Why does Carper always say "Whoa1 j
beforo he cranks his car. ,
The tlrst timo ta« tried to crank It,
lt kicked and broke his wrist |
Excelsior
Life Insurance Go.
Assets     s s.soo.ooo.oa
Insurance 1S.S0O.0O0.M
Absolute Security For
Policy Holders
Excelsior Policy Forms Approved by Dominie*
Insurance Department -.
lor attendee apply to Prorlnclal Offices at
WHTKIPIO,     CDMONTOM,    SASKATOON.
VAHCOnVEB. or Bead Office. TORONTO
A DANGEROUS ANIMAL.
The t-alue of a bull Is la.
creased and tbe tlsagcr cllmlaatsd
by cuttlnt off bis bonis with a
KEYSTONE BEH08NEE. LesilinS
cattlemen antl ranchmen endorse tt
Write for booklet C B. H,
K'KENNA, 111 Robert Strset, la-
Toronto. Can.
'ATENTS
Patent Your Ideae. No delay, and ws
will sell it for you if tlie iuen haa merit.
Bend sl.etch for free report. Information on patent and Hat of Inventions
wanted in: .ed free.
J.  A.   MACMURTRY wi CO'Y,
PUent Attorneys
15-1 Bay Street, Toronto. Canada
A New Answer to an Old Question
What would happen lt an liresistlbl*
force met an Immovable body? asked
the professor of ncjepce.
Tht rosult. replltC the pretty co-ed,
would be some very Interesting by-pro*
ductc
SMIohm
the famila*  remedy  (or  Coughs  and  Cold*
ViaU  dose.    Small bottle.    Best since 1870
Getting 'o Kno
riow's Wilbur getting along with his*
new automobile? asked Brown.
Finely, said Will jr's friend. He's
got so now .lint he can almost tell
what's the matter when it wdh'I go.
Dcn't all those papers malte yon
tired? asket, the kindly .ls-.osed man
of t.io little newsboy who "-as struggling along unto a huge load of evening papers.
Naw, replied the newsboy with si>
preine contempt.     I can't   ead.
Jcnks and the Abstemious Flsh
Say, said JoneB tc Brown, you told
me that young Jenks drank like 1
fish.
So he does.
But I have lt on the best authority
that henover touches a drop o   liquor-
Well, neither does a lish.
Let  the
Breakfast Call
mean a dish of crisp, golden-
brown
Post
Toasties
served with a sprinkling of
sugar and some rich cream.
This delightful food made
of choice Indian Corn-flaked
and toasted—is ready to
serve direct from the package.
Just the thing for breakfast, lunch or supp er, winter
or summer.
A try tells why I
Toasties are sold by grocers—everywhere.
Canad.an Postum Cereal Company
Ltd. Windsor  On* -.tlB    laSlaAaM-Ell,   l V » M* ltl A M 1),   *.''
I.
THE ISLANDER
Published every Saturday at Cumberland, Vancouver Island, B.C., by
THE ISLANDER PRINTING AND  PUBLISHING COMPANY
Edward W. Bickle, Edit*.**.*
Subscription: $150, payable in advance.   Advertising Rates furnished on application
To Correspondents : The Editor does not hold himself responsible for views
expressed by correspondents. No letters will be published in lhe Islander
except over the writer's signature.   The Editor reserves the right to
reluse publication of any letter.
SATURDAY, MARCH 21, 1914.
Nanaimo Advancing.
A week ago today was pay day for the employees of the
Western Fuel Company at Nanaimo.
The Herald says the amount paid out in wages would
be in the neighbourhood of $75,000.00. Such a pay roll,
which will undoubtedly continue to increase, will make any
intelligent member of the U. M. W. of A. that may be left
in Nanaimo disgusted with the situation as it exists. What
with the results of the municipal election in that city, the
agreement recently entered into and carried into effect
between the present employees and the management of the
Western Fuel Company, and now the payroll climbing up to
such figures must make Farrington, Pettigrew, Foster et al
feel as though they would like to migrate to another part of
the world, for surely the curtain has dropped on the last act
that these agitators may play in the Vancouver Island
iarce. 'These same men were driven out of Cumberland by
the increased output into the City of Nanaimo, where they
created untold trouble and expense. And now it appears
that in a short space of time the agitators must move from
that city, with no other alternative but to cross the border
line back to where they came from. The increased output
will have the same effect in Nanaimo as it had at Cumberland
The modern agitators must seek pastures new otherwise
take the pick and shovel. Should the time arrive that it may
be necessary for any man to set up an agitation for the
welfare of the working men on the island it is to be hoped
that it will be a man of at least some standing in the com
munity with a reputation at stake.
The Strike Prosecutions.
From The Victoria Colonist.
Public opinion is never vindictive, and now that the
supremacy of the law has been asserted in connection with
the Nanaimo riots, there will be no opposition to the granting of such relief to the convicted parties as the nature of
the case admits of. Everyone wants to see things in the
mining centres restored to their normal condition, and there
is no desire on the part of anyone to have punishment inflicted
merely for the sake of punishing. There can hereafter be
no doubt in anyone's mind that constituted authority cannot
be openly defied in British Columbia.
While it is impossible to justify the action of those of
the striking miners who were concerned in acts of violence,
we would like to believe, and shall so believe until the contrary appears, that they did not represent anything like a
majority of their fellow workers. The miners are now
working, and there are long waiting lists of persons seeking
employment, so that we look forward with confidence to the
coming of a time in the early future when the old order of
things will be fully restored, and when this is the case we
earnestly hope that nothing will be left undone on either
side to make the relations between empolyer and employed
as harmonious as possible. As a rule miners are reasonable
people, and would rarely cause trouble if some shadow of
an excuse did not exist which paid agitators could seize upon
and magnify into a real grievance. It is for the mine
operators to see that no foundation is given for discontent,
as far as it is possible for human sagacity to prevent. It is
for the miners to realize that their interests and those of
their wives and families are best served by honest effort, by
peaceful means, to settle any difficulties which may seem
likely to arise. Conciliation on both sides is the surest
safeguard of harmony.
*>■.-■*. <*.:* ••* -— - -.	
Instruction to Newcomers.
From The Victoria Week.
There is a man in Victoria who, according to the daily
press, sent an advertisement to the Eastbourne Guardian
asking for a wife, "preferably fair domesticated, not one of
the flighty kind." This man should be put in a glass case
and carefully preserved, or, to use a more typical Western
phrase, "canned." One would like to know how long he has
been in Victoria and how he has spent his time. He
evidently thinks that Victoria is like an Old Country town
where girls are taught to do housework, to wash, to bake;
to sew and even to scrub. It is possible he has visions of a
wife who will make her own clothes and, under certain
adventitious circumstances, lots of little clothes. Presumably
he has brought with him to Canada the old-fashioned notion
of a wife who thinks only of her husband and children, who
makes a house into a home, who has no time for the
fashionable frivolities which possess the feminine mind.even
in Lent, and who does everything "just as mother did."
That man should never have come to Victoria; he lacks
adaptability; he is unable to appreciate the genus woman as
she exists in this last, best Western world. One. would like
to know his occupation and income. In a country where
even day wages are big, what right has a worker for three
dollars a day to expect to get a wife, unless he is prepared
to dress and equip her according to the standard set in the
West. He should either make up his mind to remain a
bachelor or go back to Eastbourne, where there are plenty
of wives to be had of a "domesticated" character, and
where they can be supported on a pound a week. This
man has changed his milieu without chanaginghis methods;
he is willing to draw the big wage he can earn in Victoria
without being willing to spend it on the Victorian scale,
He has not yet learned that Victoria wives expect to dress
well, to go into society, to belong to clubs and to " queen "
it at home. The consummate ignorance of the man in
expecting a wife to do home chores when there are
hundreds of Chinamen available is appalling. It would be
decidedly unsafe for his name and address to leak out.
New Styles for
Good Dressers
Men's Negligee Shirts, in fancy stripes, good strong material
Zephyrs Ginghams, with soft collars to match and *£*% ftar.
French cuffs -*?*.W
Plain Blue. Grey and Cream Shades, collars and cuffs aa
above $1.75.   Other lines ir, assorted stripes, with stiff cuffs,
prices $1.25,1.50 and 1.75.   Large assortments with combination collars, in fancy patterns, price $1.60 to $2.75.
Men's Stilt" Hats, latest styles, *2.50 and $3.00.
"   Fedoras, in Black, Brown and Gray Shades, prices$2.50
$2.75 and $3.00.    Large assortment of Stetson Hats at $5.00
We specialize in Gents Collars of the best quality and latest
designs.
Story of Settlement.
From The Nanaimo Herald
According to a report published in Sunday's Colonist
a series of conferences has been originated in Victoria which
lt is expected will settle the whole mining trouble on the
island.    It must be confessed that the report in question is
not very well informed.    The writer of it knows nothing at
all about local conditions.   He'does not appear to know that
all the mines on the island are producing coal.   He has
apparently heard that there is a strike on somewhere, and
has concluded that, as a consequence, some of the mines" are
closed down.   He has no idea that before even the strike
was called in Nanaimo the mines in Cumberland were almost
back to their normal production.   The Colonist itself has
never learned that the Canadian Collieries mines are producing twice the amount of coal they can sell, and that in
Nanaimo the output has reached almost one thousand tons a
day.   It has even forgotten the new agreement between the
employees and the Western Fuel Company which it published
last week.     In other words it does not know the first thing
about the situation here or at any other part of the island.
Still it states that the operators on the island have been conferring with the government with a view to a settlement,
This is the only statement in the whole Colonist report
which calls for any attention.   Apart from this single state
ment of fact, the writer is hopelessly and inexcusably ill-
informed.   He does not even know that any of the mines
are producing coal, and has no information that the Canadian
Collieries Company is producing more coal than it can find
a market for.   In this respect the Colonist is in goodly company. It ought to have made itself acquainted with the facts
of the situation months ago, but strangely enough it never
seems to have awaked to its importance.   At the same time
it may still be true, as the Colonist says, that negotiation are
under way to finding a basis of settlement.     The strange
part of the story is that it is the mine operators who are
moving to secure peace, and that strong outside influences
have been brought to' bear to this end.    It is too much to
hope that there is anything in such a report.   The writer is
not sufficiently acquainted with the situation to appreciate
the full significance of any news that was given him.   The
mines in the strike zone have already the stage of production
to which the Colonist would take us in this proposed settlement, and it says nothing definite.   There is, for instance,
no single reference' to > the officers of the United Mine
Workers, and in any general settlement they would have to
have a voice.   It must be admitted the Colonist leaves out
a good deal more than it says, and," on the face of it, the
story is not entitled to much consideration.    We would all
like to see a general settlement, but the only hopcof this is
through the operators and the men.
Macfarlane Bros., Ltd.
" The Square Dealing House "
Phone 10  P.O. Box 100     <§>'      Cumberland, B.C.
International Mercantile Marine
lines
The Shortest Route
to Europe
For Particulars of Fares, etc.. apply to
E. W. BICKLE,
Steamship Passenger Agent, Cumberland, B. C.
Eastern Suits to Order
from
$15.00
to $25.00.
WHY PAY MORE
These prices are 20 per cent, lower
than any house in Cumberland.
200 Samples to select from.
Fit Guaranteed.
P. DUNNE, ffir1
■
THE CANADIAN BANK
OF COMMERCE
SIR EDMUND WALKER, C.V.O., LL.D., D.C.I.., President
ALEXANDER LAIRD
General Manager
JOHN AIRD
Assistant General Manager
CAPITAL, $15,000,000 REST, $12,500,000
SAVINGS BANK ACCOUNTS
Interest at the current rate is allowed on all deposits of $1 and
upwards. Careful attention is given to every account Small account!
arc welcomed.    Accounts may be opened and operated by mail.
Accounts may be opened in the names of two or more persons,
withdrawals to be made by any one of them or by the survivor. ,,
CUMBERLAND BRANCH.     W. T.  WHITS, Manager.
[Moving Pictures]
Crown Theatre, Cumberland
Opera House, Courtenay
New Hall, Bevan
Moving Pictures will be shown in the above as follows—
Every Evening Except Thursday, Cumberland
Monday, Wednesday and Saturday, Courtenay
Thursday, Kevan.
| TWO SHOWS EACH NIGHT. PRICES AS USUAL |
W. WITCHELL, Manager.
■M i
TFI »ta»l«t|r*», CTHEFHIJIlir, ft*, f.
The Popular Beer
of the day is
The
Silver Spring
and now on draught at the
ti
New England Hotel
JOSEPH WALKER  Proprietor,
Lunamuir Avenue
Cumberland
B.O.
Try it and be convinced, you will drink no other.
Awarded Four Gold Medals B. C, Agricultural Association 1010 & 1913
for Purity and Quality,
For Sale in Bottles at all Leading Hotels.
Silver Spring Brewery Ltd.
SyooeiH ol Cul Mining Regulations
•TOAlanaining rights of tha Doiniuiun
ID Mwiituha, Saskatchewan and Alberta,
th* Yukon Territory, the North neat Terri
torus snd in a portion of the 'Wince of
British Columbia, may be leased for a term
of twenty-one yean at an auuual rental of
11 an sore. Not more than 2,500 acrca
will be leased to one applicant
Application fnr a lease must be made hy
the applicant in person tn the Agent or sub
Agent of the district in which the rights
applied for are situated.
In surveyed territory the land must be
described by sections, or In-al subdivisions
of sections, and in unsuneyed territory
the trace applied for shall be staked out by
tht-applicaut himself.
Ktcn application must be accompanied
by a fee uf $5 which will be refunded if the
rights applied furare not available, but not
otherwise. A royalty shall be paid on the
merchantable output of the mine at the
rate of live cents per ton.
The person operating the mine shall
furnish the Agent with sworn returns ac*
counting for the full quantity of mirch*
aniable coal mined and piy the royalty
thereon. If the turn! tuiniag rights are
not being operated, such returns shall be
furnished at least once a year.
The lease will include the coal mining
rights only, but thei* ssee may be permitted to purchase whatever available sur
face rights may be considered necessary
for the working of the mine at the rate of
.110 OOenacre.
For full information application should
be made to the Secretary of the Department of the Interior, Ottawa,  or to  any
Agent or Sub Agmt "(Dominion Lands.
W. W. COKY,
Deputy Minister of the Interior.
N.B- Unauthorised publication of this
advertisement will not be paid for.
WOOD for SAUE
APPLY
Thomas Pearce
Happy Valley
PHONE L 8-6
E. L SAUNDERS
PRACTICAL BOOT AND
SHOE MAKER
Orders Receive Prompt Attention
Repairing a Specialty
West Cumberland
UNION   BAY
Tlie Wise Real Estate Specialist looks
to the centre where transportation
facilities abound,
5 to 20 Acre Blocks, adjoining
the townsite
$100 an Acre
Easy Terms.
No better proof that what we offer is all right than is the fact
that all the buyers so far are men who have lived at Union
Bay for years, who intend making their home with a good
living in Fruit, Vegetables and Poultry,
Ring up
British Columbia Investments Ltd.
HARRY IDIENS, Manager
PHONE 36. COURTENAY
Buy yourself a Home near
No. 8 MINE
BEST ON  VANCOUVER  ISLAND
Blocks, from one acre to eight acres,
$200 per acre and upwards
Finest Homesites in Comox District
FOR PARTICULARS APPLY TO
^brxl
It's the Ford age—the age of
dependable and economical transportation. More than four hundred
twenty thousand Fords in worldwide service have changed distance
from a matter of miles to a matter of
minutes; ■"*" Bay yottr Ford today.
Si* hundred dollars is the new price of the Ford
runabout; the touring car is six fifty; the town car
nine hundred—all f.o.b. Ford, Ontario (formerly
Walkerville post ofa.ce),complete with equipment.
Get catalog and particulars from E. C. Emde,
sole agent for Comox District, Cumberland, B.C.
ri
French Millinery
Mrs. John Gillespie
Union Street
CumberUnd,|B.C.
Capital Paid Up 111,060,000
Roserve Fund $13,000,000
THE ROYAL BANK
OF CANADA
Drafts issued in any currency, payable all over the world
SPECIAL ATTENTION paid to SAVINOS ACCOUNTS and Interest at highest current rates allowed on deposits of ll and upwards.
CUMBERLAND, B.C.,Branch     - •    OPEN DAILY
UNION WHARE, Sub-Branoh, OPEN TUESDAYS AND FRIDAYS
D. M. MORRISON, Manager.
COURTENAY, B, 0 , Branch, OPEN DAILY.
- R. H. HARDWICKE, Manager.
The Ideal Store
NEW SHOES
The first shipment of our spring stock
of shoes have arrived in
Men's Tan and Black Button
Ladies Tan, Gun Metal, and
Navy Blue Suede in
Lace & Button
Watch for our Sale of Odds and Ends
after Stock-Taking.
The Ideal Store
Next door to Tarbells.
I
NEW GOODS
NEW STOCK OF
UNOaLEUM and
WALL PAPERS
1914 Patterns just opened out.
A full line of Furniture, House Furnishings, Beds
and Bedding, Stoves and Ranges always on hand
DUNSMUIR AVENUP.
CUMBERLAND, B. C.
Phone is\
***A**\*wm****s*********wm
A. McKlNNON
THE FURNITURE STORE
Pendants, Necklaces
Watches
MAGAZINES & ALL THE LATEST BOOKS
T. D. McLEAN
THE   LEADING    JEWELER
Cumberland, B. C.
HOTEL UNION
OPPOSITE RAILWAY STATION
First CUss in every respect. Perfect Cuisine
Headquarters for Tourists and Sportsmen
Wines Liquors and Cigars
John N. McLeod, Proprietor
When InCtitnberJand make n*.. (Tnton yonr liMtlminrlcrsi
Marocchi Bros
GROCERS   AND   BAKERS
Agents for Pilsener Beer
GEORGE K0N<
REAL  ESTATE
HEAD OFFICE: 627 Pandora Street, Victoria, B.C.
BRANCH OFFICE, P.O. Box, 434, Cumberland. B.C.
Contracling. etc., Land Clearing, Sawmill Labor Supplied, Logging Camp,
Railway and General Contractor. THE ISLANDER, CUMBERLAND, B.C
****************
The Army of
Constipation
U Growing Smaller Every Day.
CARTER'S UTTLE
UVER PIUS ate
t sponsible -they not
only give iclief—
they permanently
cure Constipation.    Millions use
ihem (of
BM*w*
ness, Indigestion, Sick Headache, Sallow Skin*
Small Pill, Small Dote, Small Price.
Genuine miutbeu Signature
A^^e^^S^t
nM*iff«fifMif««*i««-ttf««
The
child's
delight.
The
picnicker's
choice.
Everybody's
favorite.
W. GLaMUC lift, Uaalraal
*M'S
POTTED
MEATS-
Full   flavored   and
perfectly cooked
make   delicious
sandwiches.
PALMISTRY
Your Life's In Yortr Hand! -Rend
Your Own Future! fend Postal Note 25
conta and Ftampea oddresscil envelope
to Crescent.a, the well known scientific, palmist vho will mall you cliarl
from which you can read your own future. It will fully describe your past
and future life find It can be a constant
p-nldc in life. CRESCENTIA. 3, Stobart
Block.  Winnipeg.
CANCER
Bo.la rret.    A a.mpls
■ansa  trealsstat rettavei
fessp Irani taiaUity'': breast
014 Mraa, ulcers ana*
.     . ■ ._ *ra»'as eared.    Describe
•Dm af-aable i ws still send book aad testimonials,
UK CANADA CANCER INSTITUTE, taairas
M CHUacHIU. AVI!. TORONTO
FREE TO ALL SUFFERERS.
Urowd**) OUTO*&l)HTS"slUIIDOW|-'ar'UUTTHIILUir
mrrn hoa kidhit, bladder, kirvoui biiiaiik
WIOKIC W|*Ki4Mai|,t;LCIBt.,aKIN EXUrT10NB,P(LUk
Rtu In nr FItci kook. thi most ihitiuctiti
■RDICAL 1001 >Vr.R WIITTIH.IT TXLLt AlsLatmatthM*
■UKASE* Ud IMS REMARK. A ILK CURE* mmm*. ■*■
THINlWPRBNCHfflMIDY. N.I
THERAPION'..'
fnlhiNSsMf ti>f TOUR OWN «0«Mf DMIMsllMii
AaWMr.irPneC. na MiviiitNtjiri ot LrClim
III Co. UAvuaiou KB. IUnwuo. London,tz«
RAW FURS
We foij Highest Values
Write tor Price List OK
jnd Shipping Tag*   •-,
ffierccTurOr.LtcI
tKiiti sad MexanderWWlr^J. Canada
sf
We also buy Hides anil Seneca root.
The Label Regulated the Price"
What j-oii i sed. Madam, Bald the
physician to his fashionable lady patient, is oxygen. Come every afternoon Ior Inhalations. They Will cost
you Ave dollars each.
There, said '.lie lady, 1 just knew that
other doctor didn't know his business.
He told me all I needed was plain
fresh air.
His Finish
Fred Jenks Is yonr next-door neighbor now, Isn't he? remarked a man
while calling on a friend ono evening.
Who did you say?
Fred Jenks. I understand he is a
"inislieil cornetist.
Is be?    Good! Who did it?
High Hopes
Little Pat and big Mike had had a
dispute, when Mike ln contempt said:
'Ye little runt, 01 bet 1 eould carry
yen up to the fifth story in me hod.
Pat immediately took up the bet,
saying: I'd lolko to see ye thry thot
3nmo.     I'll bet yez fifty clnts on it.
liefore he knew It Mike had him in
his hod and wns going up the ladder.
When he sot to the fourth story ids
loot ..lipped ..nd ho almost fell. He
regained his footing, however, and
reached the f.fth story in triumph.
01 won, he said.
Yez did that, sail". Pat, but 01 had
high hopes v hen yer foot slipped.
-~ DODD'S-'
?KIDNEY
i'f PILLS i
W    I* <\r>
■^UlDNE^.aV
;,    .hapneur. ATlS,rA'rC
tOo* ■ box or aix boxes for $2.50
at all di.iltn. or The Dodds Medl-
cine Con-pa.!***, Limited Toronto,
'panida. 	
W. N. U. 9B6
Control oi Municipal Finance
(Cominu.'d From Last Week)
Pursue Safer Course
The safer course would be to let
each village, town or city stand on its
own feet in this respect, with the result that thc city or other municipal
body which practised true economy
and displayed foresight and executive
ability in its administration, would
receive duo credit therefore. Under
this arrangement our municipalities
would still float their own debentures,
but the advice of the commission
might always be obtained for the asking.
Tendency to Borrow Hastily
Municipr.lities occasionally rush into schemes of improvement without
considering whether the generations
to como will be able to carry the burden. A town becomes Intoxicated
with the growth and development of a
nearby city and seeks by expenditure
In handsome public buildings, sewer
and water mains, etc., to follow ia the
footsteps of its populous neighbor.
Witli this spirit in the air ambitious
schemes are hurriedly undertaken
with more thought for the present
than thc years to follow. Moro thnn
once we have read in Old Country papers that mayors ond councillors are
sometimes moved b reason of their
self Interest to support improvements
which involve debenture borrowings
and atteutioia has been drawn to the
preponderance ot tho real estate Interests on Western Council Boards.
We believe th-t tl.is statement can
only be supported in fact by Isolated
instances, but there is no doubt all
this criticism would como to an end
by the appointment of an impartial
Board such as this commission should
be.
A commission such as is proposed
would prevent municipalities embarking upon an improvement scheme,
thereby incurring expense upon the
ratepayers without flrst having the
approval of thc people who are to pay*
for t'..o work. Reference to the chartered banks' returns to the Dominion
Government for the mouth ot August
last will disclose thi fact that ever 40,-
000,000 was on loan to cities, towns,
municipalities and school dlstvicts In
Canada. "In September this amounted to ."..37,465,383.00. There la no doubt
that maiiy of cur chartered banks are
carrying unsold debentures ;f Municipalities of our Province owing largely to tha practice of entering into
heavy expenditures for public works
without first sound Lg the market as
to thc prohability cf an early aud sat-
Is.actory sale cf their securities.
Commission Would Investigate
Whe:. a town had decided to embark
tiliou a pubis work as has already
been mentioned, full details would be
forwarded to the commission, whereupon one of Its members would visit
Uie town and would invctigate the
need for the work, its feasibility, and
whether it v as likely to be carried
out with due regard for efficiency and
economy. Alu whether the undertal
Ing was not so largi as to unduly tax
ihe ability of the ratepayers to pay
for the work. After this Investigation had beei concluded, tho report
would be made to the full commission,
and if they were thoroughly satisfied
their approval would Issuo In due
course.
' Simplify Bylaws
We would i it go so far as to say
that the loan should be authorized
forthwith, hnt recommo i the sub
mission of the scheme to the ratepayers who would by their vote say
whether or not they were willing to
incur the debt. To take away the
vote would be a serious mistake. In
this connection we would uot ouggest
that lengthy bylaws, such a- are now
used for the authorization of municipal debts, should be adhered to, but
rather an ahbrevirted form whicli
might be suggested by the commission
itself, applicable for such improvements as lt was intended to undertake.
This would not only tend to reduce
labor of framing, reading and passing
in Council, but would cheapen the cost
of borrowing. The printing, preparation and passing of bylaws of tills
character cost the municipalities of
our Province a great deal of money
annually. Tho ratepayers would be
votlnn intelligently as they would
know that the undertaking had received the approval of the municipal commission. Tliis alone would tend to
allay the feeling among over seas and
other Investors that many of our public todies wero overborrowing. '
Without doubt Improvements have
been undertaken in towns and cities
throughout our Provinces (and in this
our Province- ls by uo means
alone) and debentures Ibsu*. I to cover
the cost thereof spread over such n
period of time that it ls safe to hazard tho opinion that the generation
to come will bo paying tho just debt
of those living' today. We hear tlio
statement frequently made that our
municipalities are prone to Issue bonds
for local Improvements for terms beyond the prohabl life ot tho work. A
municipal commission would undoubtedly remedy this trouble. Twenty
years Is considered to bo too long a
term over which to spread the payment of a debenture debt Incurred for
the construction ot cement sidewalks.
Ten years would be better, certainly,
fifteen yoars should be an outside
term. Many bonds issued for a term
of forty and sometimes fifty years
should have heen materially cut down.
The Issuing of debentures for skating (.nd curling rinks should ho discouraged. Fundi for such purposes
should be provided by private enterprise. There may be some excuse
for this practice In tho case of small
villages where lt may be dllllcult to
Induco a private citizen or company
to erect a building of this character.
Such propositions as a rule, do not
yield a pr.flt. Undoubtedly a building jf tils character affords an opportunity for -he citizens of tomorrow to
Indulge In our healthy national winter
sports. It may be added that bonds
of this character are generally difficult
to market.
(To be Continue!)
[very flome ((eeds
kmBuk
Ua* It law acaeaee. ulc-ata.
caU MfM, cka..a«*
heads, a*is..,»at we-etals,
alias, seal. sens, anal all
skin laiurUs andotUaues.
las' balar, lot* eeejr.
Parely herbal. All-ins*-
lists aad store* s*c to*.
Their Message
The evening callers were chatting
with their hosts when there came a
patter ot little feet along the hall.
Hush, whispered the hostess, raising
her hand, the childr-m are coming with
their good-night message, lt always
gives mc a feeling ot*>rcveren..e to hear
them. They are so much nearer to
Heaven than we, aad they speak from
the fullness of their little hearts never
so "reely as when the dark bas come.
Listen!
Thero waa a moment's pauso, and
then tho message camo In a shrill
whisper: Mamma, it ran, Willie found
a cockroach ln the tub.
No Socialist He ,
Your husband Is a Socialist, I believe? asked a friend at the reception
of Mrs. Smith.
A Socialist? repliei. Mrs. Smith. No,
Indeod. Why he hates to make calls
with me.
As Her Mother Saw It
Have you spoken of our lovo to yonr
mother as yet? he asked.
The girl shook her head.
Not ns yet, shi whispered.
Has she noticed nothing?
She has noticed thut I have been*
acting quoerly of late, but she think3
it's just biliousness.
Qhe Didn't Wait for Mamma
Miss  Doyle,  said the  six-year  old
to tlie visitor, who was   waiting   for
Mamma, will you take ono of your
shoes off a minute?
My shoes? repeated MIbs Doylo in
amazement; why, Johnnie.
Why, I heard Mamma say you were
getting crow's feet awfully.
A safe and sure medicine for a child
troubled wltll worms 1*. Mother
Graves' Worm Exterminator.
She Took Every Precaution
Jane, said the mistress, hoi   was lt
that I saw you eating of our cake last
evening?
I'm sure I don't know, Ma'am, answered "ie maid. 1 thought I had covered the keyhole.
She Thought he Had Forgotten
Mlscha Elinr.r the violinist, was
playing at a reception at Russian
Prince's and, he say.i, for an urchin of
seven, as I wa at that tlm-, I flatter
myself I rattled off Beethova's 'Krout-
zer Sonata' finely. This sonata, you
know, has in it several long and Impressive rests.    In one ot these rests
motherly old lady leaned forward.
patted my shoulder and said: 'Play
something yo   ltnow, dear.
A Frlei.dly Request
He was subject to fainting spells and
before starting out he wrote this note,
which he pinned to his shirt.
To the Doctor: If I fall on the street
and .in taken to the hospital do not operate. My appendix has been removed twice already.
Hit Gift
A young man was deeply In lovo
with a beautiful girl. One day she
told him thai the next day would b3
her birthday, and he laughingly said
that he would send her a bunch of
roses, one or each year of her life.
That evening he wrote to his florist
ordering twenty-four roses to be sent
to tlie young woman on the flrst da-
llvery next day.
The proprietor of the flower shop
looking over the mall In the morning
saw the order and said to th i foreman:
John, here's an order trom young
Mr. Flint for twenty-tour roses. Hc*s
a mighty good customer, so put In a
dozen extra ones.
And the young mnn never knew what
made tho girl so angry with him.
AFTER EFFECTS-OF
DREADED LA GRIPPE
TAKE notice
We publish simple, straight testimonials, not press agents' interviews,
from well-known people.
From al'. over America they testify
*.    the merits   of   MINAHD'S    LINIMENT, the best of Hous3hold Remedies.
MINARD'S LINIMENT CO., LIMITED
How She Knew
Effle, said Mr.rgle, who was poring
over her flrst reader, how can 1 tell
which is a 'd' and which is a 'b'?
That's easy, said Effle wisely, the
'd' has Its tummy en Its back.
How It War, Accounted For
How does it happen, said tho teacher to tlie new pupil, that your name is
Allen and your mother's name Is
Brown?
Well, explained the small boy, after
a moment's thought, you see, she married again and I didn't.
Why She Said It
King Georgo was being entertained
at a private luncheon recently when
the tiny daughter of the hostess, being
spoken .0 by ills Majesty, rosponded
politely and lisped: I think Your Majesty 1th a very remarkablo man.
Astounded at such precocity the
King smiled, and t.sked kindly. Why
do you say that, my dear?
Becauth Ma told me to, was tho unexpected reply.
She Saw It Herself
Fa;merB. said the fair city visitor,
are just as dishonest as tho city milkmen.
How d'ye make that out? asked the
farmer's wife.
This morning, said the girl accusingly, with my own eyt; I saw your hired
man water the cows just before he
milked them.
Save Time!
Time lost because of headaches,
lassitude and depressions of biliousness, is worse than wasted.
Biliousness yields quickly to the
safe, certain home remedy—
BEECHAM'S
PILLS
S-aU .rerrwhT*.  In koxee, 25 c***.
Overcome by the Use of Dr. Williams'
Pink Pills
Throughout Canada la grlppo (Influenza) prostrateB thousand.* of busy
men and women every winter, wreck-
thelr health and leaving behind
numerous jcr'ous aliments. It Ib the
after effects of la grlppo that cause
Buch widespread misery. Here Is* the
reason, laa grippe leaves behind it
weakened vital powers, a shattered
nervous system, Impure nd impoverished blood, and a low state of health
that renders the sutforer extremely
liable to rheumatism, Indigestion, neuralgia and nervous disorders. Vou can
avoid la grlppo entirely by keeping
tho llood rich and pure through the oc
casional use of Dr. Williams' Pink
Pills. Or If, because you have not
recog-.lzed your blood weakness, la
grippe fastens Its fangs upon you. Its
disastrous aftcr-effeets can be drivoi
out by thc sime.medlcln . Dr. Williams' Pink Pills Increas. and enrich
the blood supply, feed the starving
nerves, and thus impart new health
and new strength to enfeebled men
and women., Mr. G. St. Clair, connected with the Fun Life Assurance
Co., Halifax, N.S., t-yS: "I was taken
down with a heavy cold an la grippe
and was confined to the house for
some weeks. I had the best of medical t.ttention, and although the doctor
said I was cured I was till' far from
well, and did not havo the 'Im necessary for a strenuous business life, and
did not attend to either office or Held
work. Talking with a friend he said
Why not try Dr. Wlllia. s' Pink Pills.'
I decided to do so. and befoi I had
used a box felt an Improvement, and
before long the tills mado mo feel like
a new man. 1 can't therefore say too
much ln favor of this valuable medicine, and hope that any who may read
this and be in need of moi' :al attention will be persuaded to try this truly
wonderful medicine."
Y'ou can get these health-renewing
Pills through any medicine dealer or
by mail post paid at 50 cents a box
or six "boxes .or $2.50 from The Dr.
Williams' Medicine Co., Brockvllle,
Ont. ■
No Use
They were out sailing when the
wind died away, leaving ihem becalmed. The young man urged his fair
companion to whistle for somo wind.
Oh, no, she said archly, there Is no
telling what you will do when 1 get
my lips all puckered up. .
I won't do anything at all. he promised.
Well, she returned, then t won't
whistle.
What Ailed Willie
Thero was a sound of revelry by
night, for the Bloggscs wer^ giving a
party. Mr. Bloggs was Blngtng: 'Tls
Love that Makes the World Go Hound,
and Master Bloggs seized the opportunity to slip Into thc other room with
his father's pipe.
Shortly afterward It was apparent
that Willie wasn't well.
Goodness, child! cried his mother,
have you beer smoking.
'Taln't that. Ma, Bald Willie feebly,
If It's true what Fa's been singing
about—I must be In love.
Ready for His Job
Wh m the waiters struck ln New
York seventy of tho seventy-five cooks
employed at one of the largest hotels
went out. This left tbe kitchen rather
Inadequately manned, and the proprietor hurried downstairs .o see what
could be done He fourd ono of the
five faithful ones, ready for ' uslness.
You will remain? asked the proprietor.
Yes, sir.
You will help us cook for our patrons?
Y'es, sir.
What do you do?
cook are you?
. I   make  the
proudly.
What sort of
meringue!   ho   said
Shiloh
quickly stopa coughs, curea colds, and heals
the throat and lunss.      *.i      ti      M «ots.
The train struck the man, did lt
not? asked the lawyer of the engineer
at tbe trial.
It did, sir, said the engineer.
Was the m_n ou the track, sir?
thundered tht lawyer.
On the track? asked tho engineer. Of
course he was. No englnet. worthy of
his j")b would run bis train Into the
woods after a man.
On moving into a new neighborhood
the small boy of the family waB cautioned not to tight with hla now acquaintances. One day Tommy came
home with a black eye and badly bespattered with mud.
Why, Tommy, said his mother, did
not I tell you not to fl^ht until you had
c    *.ted one    indrei
Ye, sniffled Tommy, and look what
Willie Smith did while I was counting
one hundred.
The Dangers of Burglary
Two hard citizens wero standing In
a secluded spot talking confidentially
when one of them suddenly sneaked
away while the other stood on guard.
Soon the flrst ona, was seen to emerge
from a window and join his pal.
Did yous; git anything? whispered
the one in waiting.
Naw, de guy what lives 1: dere ls a
lawyer, growljd tho other.
Dat's hard luck, said his pal. Did
you lose anything?
The talk had drifted to tbe weight
of persons when young Mr. Sapplelgh
observed: Appearances are often deceptive. Now Miss May here ls heavier than you would think.
In thc moment of silence which followed this remark tlio young lady's
brother aBked: How do you know,
Mr. Sapplelgh?
Probably the Germ
Mr. Groeno waB threatened with a
contagious disease, and wuen his little
son, Ned, who was of a very affectionate disposition, came to embrace him
before retiring, ho said:
Neddie, my ron, you mustn't hug me.
You'll catch the scarlet fever.*
Ned looked at his father In amazement for a mo .lent.    Then he asked:
Say, Father, who did you hug?
Warts on e hands Is a disfigurement that troubles many ladies. Hoi-
loway's Corn Curo will remove the
blemishes without pain. •
Rubbing it In
Mr. Wllklns was near the exploding
point when his neighbor met him In
the street.
Tiiat man, Tompkins, he burst out,
has more nerve than anyone I over
met.
Why? asked his neighbor curiously.
He camo over to my housr last evening and borrowed my gun to kill .«.
dog that kept him awake at nights.
Well, what of that?
Why. shouted Mr. Wllklns, lt was my
dog ho killed.      *•
A New Use for Doctors
A farmer rushed up to tho home of
a country doctor <n the village * *.te one
night and besought him to como at
once to a distant farmhouse.
The medicine man hitched up his
l.orse and they t'.rove furiously to tho
farmer's home. Upon their arrival
the farmer said*.
How much Is yohr fee, Doc?
Three dollars, said the physician ln
surprise.
Here y'are, said the farmer, handing
over the money; the blamed liveryman wanted flv dollars to drive me
home.
He Wa- Looklnn Too
An Ohio a .rmer wrote tha* he owned
nine cows, ai.d isked Repres ntatlve
Nicholas Longworth tb so .d blm a Government exterminator for flies. He
got this reply:
Sorry, but I, too, am in quest ot the
same thing. I have no cows, but I
have a bald bend.
Mr. Zangwlll's Preference
Israel Zangwell, whllo visiting in Chicago, Was once seated at dinner next
to a young woman who. knowing his
religion, asked Impertinently: Mr.
Zangwlll, how do you like our Chicago
ham.
The great Jewish writer looked placidly at her. Madam, ao replied, I
much prefer it to your Chicago tonguo.
Louis had made loud and repeated
calls for more turkey at the Christmas
dinner. After she had disposed of a
liberal quantity Bhe was told that
toe much turkey would mako her sick.
Looking wistfully at the fowl for a
moment sho said:
Well, give me anuzzor piece an' send
fer the doctor.
HI   THE   OLD  RELIABLE |
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PROM  THIS OLD COUNTRY
Tha  service   ottered  la   unexcelled In
COMVOeYT
The new twin screw ateamahtpa
caviT'lia* one clasa (II) Cabin ami
third clasa only,
A\D\NIA   ***  AI.\l NIA
la\4M T..s  Bawls
Were added to tha
CANADIAN SERVICE
In  HIS.   and   ara   replete  with
every   modern  Improvement.
MAGNIFICENT APPOINTMENT!
Louns-e. Gymnasium, Drawing
Room, Smoking Room. Open and
Covered Promenades. Orcheatra.
Other  splendid  ateamahlpa  are:
ASCANIA   (a«i),    AUSONIA
10.000 tona        1,000 tona
Carrylne one olasa (II) Cabin and
third olaaa only.
FRANCONIA (Ban Mil)
l.ACONIA ISH) Mil)
18,150 tona each—Twin Screw
CARMANIA (21,001 tona), Triple
Screw Turbine
Carrying Flrat, Second and Thirl
Class.
Tha Cunard Company also
maintain services between New
Tork, Oueenstown, Flahsruard,
Liverpool. Boston, Queenatown,
Flahcuard, Liverpool. Naw York,
Mediterranean, Adriatic Including* the fastest ataamera In tha
world, "laualtanla" and "Mauretanla.1*
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Service:
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For descriptive literature. Ballings, etc., apply to any Railway
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wKX»i.*5^.**i«*J.«KE?SJ.gSc.S5!Si,.*
■■^"•'■V'o-'-Tm^^
MOTHERS (Ol   taeir   CHILDREN   WH)
Ev."iiB PAJM: CTUBS WfilD COUCj ad
ai tne best remedy lot UIA-UtHCEA. It Is aa.
solutele harmless.  Be aure ano ask lot "Mi*
Winston's Soothing Syrup,* ano taka M OttSf
cIM   Tisenty.bvecenUa bottle.
A young man, very fond ol the girls,
but very cautious as to hi dealings
with them, recently went to a poetical
friend and asked him If he would help
get up a birthday sonnet to a certain
young lady.
Well, said the poet friend, what do
you want me to say?
Why, you ought to know about
wbat's the proper thing, said the
young man. Something rather tender
but at* tho -ame time, remember, I
don't want to commit myself In any
way.
Well, said the poet, you don't want
a poet to d**aw up your birthday verso.
You want a Uwyer.
The Reason
A Clergyman ln the pulpit was a
fearless expounder of right and wrong,
but ln the domestic circle maintained,
for prudential reasins, considerable
reserve ot speech and action.
On one occasion when thi.. divine
visited a neighboring town the editor
of tho only paper there, which nev-sr
failed to notice the preseno of a
stranger ln town, offered the following
so worded to prove unwittingly keen*.
Doctor Carrol ls once mor among ua
for a brief stay. He says and does
exactly as he thinks right, without regard to the opinions or beliefs of othera.    His wife ls not with him.
When Mr. Abbott called on a young
woman one evening, he waa being en-
tortalncd by her young brother, Andrew, until Bhe made ber appearance.
If you don't give me a quarter, said
little Andrew, I am going to tell about
you kissing my slater,
But I hadn't thought ot kUsIng yonr
sister, protested Mr. Abbott.
You ain't? > Id Andrew, plainly pua.
sled; then what did ahe pay me to
say that to you for?
DRY IRRITATING HACK OF BRONCHITIS
INSTANTLY RELIEVED BY "CATARRHOZONE"
No   Failure,   Cure In   Every   Case
Treated by Catarrhozone
Catarrhu/one can't fall to cure Bronchi tia*. Its co eallng, sopthihg and balsamic that every trace of the disease
flies before It. WLen you Inhale the
pure .ilney vapoi of Catarrhozone, you
send healing medication to the spots
that aro diseased and aore.
Isn't tt rational to appl*, medicine
here the disease exists? Certainly!
and tiat'B why Catarrhozone Ib so successful, it goes where the trouble
really ls, gets where a spray or ointment can't pe..etrato. For the relief
and complete cure of bronchitis, astb-
na, catar.**i, throat trouble, we guarantee Catarrhozone ln every case. You
don't take medicine—you don't tako
drowsy drugs—Just breathe the bal-.
aamlc essences of   Catarrhozone:    It
dees tho rest safely and surely.
"For Hire} years   I   was  seriously
bothered by  a  bronchial cough.   At 1
night I would awaken with a, dry lr- ]
ritable eeline ln my throat.    I couldn't cough up anything, but very soon I
coughed my '.hroat Into quite an In-j
flammed condition.    Once I got Cat
arrhozone Inhaler I was all right    I
toolt It to bed, and If an attack awak- (
ened mo a tew minutes use ot the Inhaler gave me relief.     Catarrhozone
Las cured me and   I strongl.    urgu .
everyone with a weak throat to use lt
regularly.
(Signed) J. B. BEAMER,
Reading.
Catarrhozone will not disappoint
you. Get the complete $1.00 outfit; It's
guaranteed. Sma I size !"0c: trial or
sample slve *"*■'' ■ -"vwhera* THE ISLANDER. CUJtBERL.AXD. R.C
if/
•tMtMIMMIIIIMMIMM
i i .
Mystery of j!
a Safe
It Was Not Solved by ';
Detective Work
I By MARGARET STEARNS ' !
la all my experience ef twenty
fears In the detective business I never
kid a case Involving more Ingenuity
•id deep laid planning than tbe rookery of the safe in tbe dwelling et
Hr. George A. Tourtelotte. 1 was
•cut to tbe gcntlemnu'a house one
Morning by my chief and found blm
h a very uncomfortable state of mine*.
Money had disappeared from bis safe,
Wbere he bad kept wbat valuables
•acre were In the bouse, and bo nssum-
M that some one who) lived tbere muat
Save been tbe thief, for tbe safe was
an old one, opened net by a combination, .but by one of those little keys
with teeth sucb as are used for tbe
frlrate bote* of safety deposit com-
■antes.
Mr. Tourtelotte, who wos very rich,
slid not care ao mucb for tbe money
lest as tbo discovery tbat be had a
thief among tbe members of bis household. His theory of tbe robbery was
tbat some one bad come Into hla sleeping room at nlgbt. stolen bis hunch ot
keys, among whlcb was the key of
tbe safe, unlocked the safe, taken the
money and returned the key to tbe
place whence lt bad been token.
His theory did not satisfy me, bemuse tbe thief would not have been
likely to return the toys. Mr. Tourtelotte evidently considered me very
stupid, declaring that. If the thief were
■ member of bis bousebold, not to return the key to tbe place from whlcb
It bad been taken would be to prove
almost conclusively that he wns a
member of tbe bo. .-hold. But Mr.
Tourtelotte waa a< nftomcd to lock
tnd bolt his bedroon* door on retiring.
Before I started in ray Investigations Mr. Tourtelotte Informed me tbat
•ne of the members of his family was
a governess, a young lady who had
ronie to him with the very best of recommendations. Ho had on several occasions given ber tbe key to tbe safe
•when certain articles, such as silver-
•rare for tbe table, were wanted, and
QcuJStXm
**uct a* nam it Tin corroii.*
■be wa* tbe only one outside of his
■wife and children who hud ever handled tlie key. Nd servant on any account was permitted to do so.
My habit bas always been to pny attention to every sUKgestlon. and I entered this Information In my lueital
notebook, but I rely so conflilcnti) oa
my being able *o tell by Instinct s
guilty from nn inbocent person as to
discredit hn nccusution against any
one my perceptive faculty declares Innocent Tbo governess. Miss Martin.
Hid not even api ar to realize that sbe
Wns In a position to be suspected.
It happened that there wns no clew
lor me to work upon except what I
cnuld get from Mr Tourtelotte lilmse'f,
and, his auspicious kilting been fixed
on Miss Martin, hia mind wss sn taken
Up with this solution Unit there wss
tu room In It for anything else. But I,
who hnd Investigated for Indications
tf an entrance luto the house, had
lenrned Hint on tho night of the robbery a window over a trellis hnd been
left unlocked, and. though this did nut
prove that tbe tbief bnd come from
without. It Indicated tbat he might
bare done ao
After learning all there waa te be
lenrned so fnr aa I could see about tbe
ease I hnd absolutely nothing to work
on, I do not remember to hnve been
tver ao completely bnlHed. Usually I
linvu found some clew, even If it led
me tin a false scent, bnt In this ease
tbero was no clew at all. I therefore
said to Mr. Tourtelotte:
-There Is some Information about
tbis case thnt hna not come to ma
Let ua begin at the bottom Tell me
tf every time you can remember of
four safe key baring left your keeping and wbo baa bnd It"
He racked hla brain for aome time,
then said:
"There ls only one time that the key
baa been out of my timid* nnd gone
Into otber hnnds. and then only for s
minute at most. The circumstance
eould not hnve had any possible cotv
taction wltb thla robbery."
***** sue wbat yon refer tta"
"About two weeks ago I wu "rsvtjT-
fcsg In s parlor ear. A gentleman bar-
tag tbe aext chair to me took np a
suit case and, on putting his band Into
ala pocket for tbe key. found that be
bad left lt at borne. He seemed very
mucb annoyed, saying be bad aome
papera In bia suit case It was essential
that he look over before reaching his
destination. He wss s lawyer and as
soon aa be arrived must try a cose tn
court to wbicb tbe papers referred.
A gentleman sitting ln tbe chair on
Ibe opposite side of tbe aisle offered
him bia key ring wltb a number of
keys on lt that be might see If any of
tbem wonld St tbe lock. He tried them
all, but found none of tbem available.
"'Perhaps,' said the man who bad
loaned tbe keya, 'tbis gentlenian'-ro-
ferrlng to me-'has a key tbat will
serve your purpose.'
"I banded blm my key ring, and be
tried all tbs keys on It, bnt without
effect"
"Mr. Tourtelotte," I said, 1 sm Inclined to think tbat thla episode may
have some connection with tb* robbery."
"Will you kindly explain, bowl"
"I assnme that tbe key of your aafs
wss on tbe ring."
"lt was."
"Were your eyes on yonr keys every
moment tbey wero In tbs other's possession?"
"No. His back was toward aa
when be was trying them."
1 sat pondering for awhile before
saying anything more.
"1 fear," I said at last, "that I shall
bave to give up the case.  There Is a
possibility tbat aome game was played
on you by this man to whom you loaned your keys, but to Bnd blm would bs
Impossible.   Besides. It would require
. sll tbe Ingenuity of s first class modem
I detective story writer to show bow a
chance momentary loan of keys on a
train could result ln monoy disappear-
I Ing from your safe without that safa
having been forced open."
"Why do you decline to suspect alias
Martin?"
"Because sbo has a very expressive
face, and lt would be impossible for
ber to carry such s secret without betraying lt Moreover, I have perfect
confidence In my ability to tell a rogue
from an Innocent person by looking
into tho eye."
"Very well, sir; alnce yon acknowledge your Inability to ferret out tha
matter you ara welcome to retire
from It"
I learned afterward tbat he employed another detective, wAo worked on
the lines be Indicated, aud Miss Mar-
tin was kept under surveillance But
ahe was never known to spend a cent
that Bhe could not afford to spend, and
no clew was found against her. 1 met
ber ou the street one day. and sbe recognized me ns having been nt the bouse
wbere sbe was employed Immediately
after the robbery. She told me that
Mr. Tourtelotte bnd dispensed wltb
her services, but she did not know
why. I did not enlighten ber Berore
I left her I cutered her new address
In my notebook In accordance with my
bnblt of beeping tbe addresses of per
sons In uny way connected wltb my
cases.
Tbere waa a special reason which I
did not know nt the time why Mr.
.Tourtelotte wished to fix the robbery
of bis safe on Miss Martin. He had a
son whom he suspected of being la
lovo with her He Informed thnt son,
Edgar, that be was convinced that
Miss Martin was a thief, but since bt
could not prove lt be ninde no charge.
But not desiring to bave one whom hs
did not trust a member of hi* bousebold. be bad sent her nwny
Tbl* waa tbe first Kdgor Tonrtfiotta
knew of his father'a suspicion*. Ht
came at once to me to hear what 1
knew nbout the mutter. I told him
thnt I bnd no suspicion whatever of
Mies Martin: on tbe contrary, I wai
sure that she wns an Innocent girl,
Tbl* pleased him very miirh. und ha
begged me to try again to discover
tbe guilty person, agreeing to pny m«
for any time I spent In doing so I
told him that not being one of tbost
detectives who could work up a cast)
from a scratch on a wall or the stump
of n clgnr, I wonld not undertake to
work up one In which I hud no clew
whatever. 1 ndded thnt I believed bis
father's snfe hnd been robbed by a pro-
fesslonnl criminal aud there wns a possibility thnt nt softie future time sn
explanation might come out by soma
crook In limbo.
Thc lover* were In time relieved by
lust sucb nn explanation, lt came ta
me In a roundabout wny. A lot ol
nn deteetfres were sitting together one
evening swnpplng ynrn* when one ol
the party told thnt a crook who hsd
given him sample* of his Ingenuity
rclsted the following with grent priia-e*
He had marked a rl**h man for his
quarry and noticed that he left ill*
auburb In which he lived every morning by a certain train for Ihe city-
One dny. well dressed, the criminal en.
tered the snnfe car with Ihe gentle-
msn, followed by a confederate (In
the wny to lhe city he pretended to be
a luwyer with a case coining off In
court Hint he must try when he reach-
ed the city In thi* wny. nlded by hi*
confederate, he secured the rich mnn'a
safe key long enough to take un un-
presston of It In wax. entered bl» hons*
by s trellis, opened hi* safe and secured a good lot of ewag.
There wua no use hnvlng thi* In.
genlnua crook arrested, for lie hnd nl.
ready been aentenced to »erve n term
of ten year* In atnte prl«on. but I Informed tbe Tourtelotte family of tha
explanation of their wife mystery, and
I waa soon afterward Informed by Kd-
gar Tourtelotte of hi* engagement,
wltb hi* father's consent to Mia* Mnr-
tin, On the day Edgar was married Ut
seat aw a eback tar tiuu
PRICES 70 YEARS AGO.
COULTER'S QUEER STORY.   I     BOTH WERE DRAMATIC.
High Cost of Living Is Not Strictly
Modem.
People talk much about tbs high
coat of living these days ss If tt were
something new. An Interesting document has come to the notice of The
Toronto Globe, wblch shows that seventy years ago people living tn Ontario had their own H. C. 0. L. problems to deal with. Only at that time
lt had not reached tbe stage where it
could be transposed Into the coat af
blgh living.
The document referred to la a receipted bill of Mr. John Oiffin of
B.-ampton, C.W., "C. W." meaning
Canada West. Tbe bill la a trade account extending over a period of
about one year, from February, 1840,
to February, 1841.
Many srtlclea appear absurdly
cheap when compared to tbe prices
at present prevailing. For lnstsnce
an Item appears on the account,
"Two gallons whiskey, Ss. 6d."
Whiskey at 64 cents a gallon! Does
anybody know wbat whiskey costs today? Rice appears at two pounds for
1* pence, or 11 cents a pound. Today It costs 5 cents a pound. Barley
waa given 1" part payment ot the ar-
tlclea on the account at tb* rate of
about 35 cents a bushel. "Pease"
went at 60 cents a lusher
On the other lum. on August 18
Mr. Olflln bought half a pound of
t-1 at two shillings and three pence,
or 11.08 per pcind, the same price
aa two gallons ot whiskey. Wbo would
drink tea in those daya? Nevertheless towards the ond of tbe same
year Mr. Olflln bought another half
pound of tea for two shillings and
s't pence, while ln the beginning of
the year 1841 he paid three shillings
snd nlnepence for another half pound.
Either the tea market had advanced,
or be was getting the tea habit, and
was  eeklng a superior brand.
Factory cotton waa sold at eight
and one-halt pence a .yard, or 17
centa a yard. Half a yard of ticking
cost nine pence, or 18 cents, while
one yard of coat facing sold for three
shillings, or 72 cents.
Immigration Is 418,059.
"Total Immigration Into Cans***,
for the year 1913, commencing Jan.
1 and ending Dec. 31, will amount
t- 412,955, aa agalnat a total of 402,-
G54 for the year 1912," Bald J. Bruce
Walker, Immigration commissioner,
at Winnipeg -tt the close of tbe year.
"We had hope ," the commissioner
continued, "thr.t the total would
retch 425,000, but owing to somewhat unfavorable conditions, which
came Into prominence during the past
few months, '.he movement received ,
a slight check. j
"During the months from April to j
November, Inclusive, tbe total immigration Into Canada from all sources
amounted to 34o,899, or an Increase
of 6 per cent, over the corresponding period of 1912. In April, May,
June and July of .thla year the Increase over corresponding months of
1912 ran as high as 25 per cent., b-t
ln August, September, October and
November there was a decided falling
off, at compared with the corresponding months of last year. Ia August
the decrease was 3 per cent., In September 21 per cent, in October 2.4
per cent, and In November 30 per
cent."
In explaining these decreases the
commissioner said: "These decreasis
are not nearly so serious as the figures would idnlcate. From tbe United States, for example, tbe decrease
was due to falling off of general laborers and mechanics. Detailed figures, however, chow that there \UJfl
heen an increase In value of effects
which they brought wltu them, and.,
ln total amount of actu-il hard cadS
wblcl they had In tbelr possession."
It Was Thought Ha Had Discovered
Hades, but He Hadn't.
At a gathering In Milwaukee a well
known minister was called ou'to tell a
story, and this ls what he told:
"Did you ever hear of Coulter's belli
Of the two men lost by the great
Lewis and Clark expedition of 1S03 on
Its long Journey through the northwest
one wa* a mun named Coulter. He
was captured by Indians, who strlpp d
him and set him to running the gantlet
"Outrunning tbelr blows, be snatched a spear from tbe Inst Indian, killed
him with It and ran Into the mountains naked and wounded, but ot last
free and armed. Wandering toward
tbe southeast, he presently found ilra-
self in u land where the forces of nature appeared to hare gone mnd together. Illvers from which be sought
to drink ran hot water, boiling fountains gushed hundreds of feet ln ths
sir, volcanoes ot black mud vomited nt
him, bubbling fountains of snow whit*
mud gushed around, with others of
crimson nnd bluo and green. A mountain of pure sulphur crystals rose on
one band, and from beside a stream
rose another composed of black glass
almost as clear ns a tiindow pane,
"At last escaping from tho place, b*
was found, by some trappers, wbo
clothed him and took blm to St Louis,
where they reported him ns one whose
mind hnd been wrecked by bis experiences. Wherever be told of the frightful country wblch be swore be bad
seen men roared with mirth at ths
yarn nnd made bim tell and retell It
till within a few years It went all over
the west as nu example of the effect
of tbe horrors of being lost on the human mind. It wns commonly known
as 'the story of Coulter's bell,' and under that name It frequently appeared
ln thc eastern papers In the early thirties and forties. Coulter himself finally died regarded to the last as a hopeless maniac.
"And then In ISO!) some Montana
trappers wandered into tbe region and
came buck with tbe astounding tale
that Coulter bad told the truth and hnd
never been lnsnne nt all. The government Immediately rushed soldiers nnd
scientists into the country, and before
long It becamo tbe Yellowstone National park. And tbat ls tbe story of
Coulter's hell."—Milwaukee Journal.
Probing Peat Resources.
The Dominion Government haa,
through the medium of the Department of Mines, just undertaken a
very extensive and exhaustive investigation Into tbe merits of pet as
fuel, the commercial feasibility ot its
manufacture at a reasonable marketable prlci and the available supply
in Canada.
The Government ls experiencing
considerable difficulty with get-rlch-
qulck men, who, posing as promoters
of peat enterprises, induced investors to place conslderbale money ln
ventures that are not based upon Intelligent Information ln regard to
the possibilities of tho Industry.
Thero Is considerable capital Invested In Canada, however, in legitimate peat enterprises, and these
are to be given every encouragement by tho Government, with the
end in view of doing everything that
ls possible to provide against a fuel
famine ln the future.
Use for German Carp.
Prof. Prince, Dominion fisheries'
commissioner, suggests that tho
spawn of German carp whicli were
placed In Lake Erie and Lake Huron
ln 1872, and have flourished exceedingly, could be made valuable for caviare and thus provide a profitable
Industry ln th3<,e waters. When properly prepared and cured It ls indistinguishable from tho caviaro made
from the sturgeons.
Inquiries from New York and London dealers who report a shortage of
Bupply, caused the examination of
which Prof. Prince's suggestion is the
result. Up to now Gorman carp has
been a despised flsh ln this country.
Bendy-Made Farms In Demand.
The "ready-made farm" Idea,
which haa been In force for a short
tlmo by thi* New Brunswick Govori-
ment, Is showing satisfactory results
from every standpoint. Over one hundred and thirty farms have heen disposed of to a* tual settler*.
Movies of the Foxe.i.
Moving pleturo men are now on
Prince Edward Island taking pictures
of a number of the fox ranchee. They
get the anlmala in tnoHonf running
round the pens, climbing up the sides
of the w>-« . nclosurcs, running into
their bole*, and doing other stunts.
NERVE IN BASEBALL.
Result of a Wild Throw to Third With
the Bases Full.
Charley Dooln, one of tbe famous
catchers of tho National league, tells a
story to the effect that after a brief
trial wltb the St. Paul club In 1889
Chnrles A. Comlskey, then Its manager,
advised blm to return to tbe tailoring
business nnd stick to lt
Another yarn concerning Dooln tolls
how a little later on and when be was
stltl little more thnn a youth and
weighing In the neighborhood of US
pounds, he wished himself upon Manager McKlhbcn of tbe St Joseph club.
When Dooln reported Mac walked
around him twice and then announced
thnt he wanted a catcher and not a
Jockey. Injuries to regulars, however,
gave tbe boy bis chance, and be was
sent In to backstop for "Big Jim"
Wiggs.
In his first game Dooln wanted to
prove thnt In addition to being a
catcher ho wns some thrower. When
he heaved to second (he baseman
would hnve needed n ladder to get the
ball; to third his pegs wero low, and
bis shoots to first nearly took the
Backer off his feet After his wild
throws had filled tho bancs tn on* Inning ho threw to third again to catch
a runner off the cushion. The hall
went so high the left fielder almost
got to It on the fly, while "everybody
came borne."
When the Inning wn* over Dooln hnd
four errors chnrged against lilm. nnd
be walked to the clubhouse and began
to pile!; up his clothes. McKlbben
stepped him, saying his nerve In during to throw tu third to catch a mnn
off witb the bases full, caused by his
previous bad throws, deserved nnother
chance. Dooln stuck und caught almost every game that season His
next Jump wns to the Phillies, nnd his
reputation was made.—Ed A. Gocwey
In Leslie's.
A Story of Frederick the Great and
Ona ef Hia Officer*.
Frederick tbe Great bad a strong
sense of the dramatic. So bad a certain lieutenant colonel In the Prussian
army. Accordingly there la plenty et
"plot" In the following story:
The officer, wbo had been discharged
nt the close of 'the Seven Years' war.
Importuned the king to be reinstated.
Weary of the Incessant solicitations ot
his troublesome visitor, Frederick at
last gave orders that be sbould never
be admitted to bis presence.
Some weeks later a most bitter libel
ngniost his majesty appeared. Frederick seldom gave himself any concern
about such pasquinades, but thc present one exasperated liiin so much that
he offered a reward of CO frlcdrlchs of
gold for tho discovery of tbo author.
The day following tlio disgraced
lieutenant colonel demanded and obtained an audience.
"Sire," he begnn, ou being admitted,
"your majesty baa Just promised 00
frlcdrlchs for lhe discovery of tho author of a recent publication. I am
come to claim the recompense. Behold
In me tbe unfortunate libelcr. My llf*
1 forfeit freely, but remember your
royal pledge and, while you punish me,
send to my poor wife nud children th*
rewnrd due to the Informer."
The king, although struck with th*
sad extremity and self sacrifice of th*
officer, snld sternly:
"Go Instantly to the fortress of Span-
day and there await my Judgment"
"1 obey," said tbe culprit; "but tb*
money?" *
"Within two hours your wife shall
receive If'.ssld the king. "Take this
letter and give It to tho commandant,
but be must not open It until after din-,
nor."
The lieutenant colonel arrived at
Spandnu nnd gave himself up r.s n
prisoner. At tbo prescribed moment
the commandant opened the royal mandate. It ran:
To th* bearer I give the command ol
Spandau. I shall be with him In a few
days. Tha present governor Is to taks
tha command of Berlli as a reward rol
past services. rREDERlCh.
—Youth's Companion.
FOR SKATING TIME.
Every     Girl     Will
'Want a Mackinaw.
Made Her Mora Nervoua.
She was rather n nervous old lady
and. fearful of being robbed of her
purse, kept It In a pocket of her underskirt Taking a cab, she, nt (he
end of the journey, begun senrchlng,
us Indies do, for the carefully concealed pocket The cabby, misconstruing
ber movements, looked on grimly.
"Well, mem." he broke In, "when
you've done nscnitclilug. uie fare's
18 pence.",—London Taller.
Impeachment.
In England It wns the old prnrllce
to lnt'ieiicl for conduct out of ofllce.
I'rlvnte citizens could lie Impeached.
Dr. rJliehoverell was Impeached for
preaching nn iiii|iupiiliir sermon! Iho
hul'c -of Illchmonil for proposing nn
fidjniiriiinent of the house of lords and
Inlgn Jones for tearing down n church.
Bill In America Impeachment bus been
restricted to men In ollice fur conduct
In office.—Argonaut
Crazy j* a Loon.
"Before I sentence the prisoner I
shonld like to ak the attorney why
he thlnl.s Hint the defendiut I* Insane."
"Your honor, he admit* th.tt he hnd
a perfectly fnlr trtul."—Philadelphia
Ledger.     ____
Holding •■J,,Tjfl.hf. I a„ .....
Ton can't alwnya tell: tlie young msn
who hold* on to you n* tightly a* a
vl«e before marriage, girl*, niny hold
on to hi* money the an me way after-
wtrd.-Florld» Time* Union.
DISEASE GERMS STICK.
Hence It la Almost Impossible to Hava ,
Really Clean Hands.
That tho slovenly habits or til health
of the cooks and wallers who serve us
In dining cars, hotels, restaurants and
our own homes may be an even g*vnt.
er menace to our health than defective
plumbing is lho fact brought out by
some Interesting investigations made
by Surgeon Cummins ot tho British
army.
lt used to be thought that if onr servants' hands—and our own—were washed with reasons e frequency wc were
safe, hut Dr. Cummins shows thnt even
the most scrupulous cleansing will not
relieve bonds tbnt bave becu ln conflict
with disease germs from tho liability
of Infecting others. In short, Dr. Cummins declares tbat so long lis wc llvo
In this world of dirt and microbes our
hands, can uevcr bo really clean.
To prove bis contention Dr. Cum iln-t
dipped the tip of bis forefinger In a
liquid containing millions of typhoid
bacilli. The finger was next rinsed In
an antiseptic solution, then In very
cold water and then In *vnt<.r tbnt wns
almost boiling. After all this cleansing
it was wiishcd In a small quantity ot
sterile water. This water when analyzed showed no less than 313 colonies
of typhoid bacilli.
Not satisfied witb this discouraging
proof of the futility of clean bands, the
doctor proceeded to soak bis Infected
finger tip In pure alcohol Then hs
washed it agaiu in sterile water. T! Is
time the analysis of the wnter roves d
four colonies of typhoid bacilli.
Another ex perl ment mado by Pr.
Cummins was to rest a typhoid laden
finger tip for Just an lnstnnt on ilia
surface of a bowl of soup. The soup
wu« then allowed to stand for twenty-
four hours. When finally analyzed it
revealed nearly 40.000 typhoid bacilli to
every cubic inch.—New York America n.
Getting Ahead of Father.
"Pardon me, Mr. Brussey, but It Is
11 ISO, and I am obliged to say good
night."
"You consider 11:30 a Into hour?"
"tt Isn't lhat so much, but father Is
lying awake upstairs trying to think
of funny things to say about yoil—like
'Why didn't you ask lilm to stay lo
breakfast   or   bring   In   the   milk   or
sweep off the porch'/' nnd I'm not going to give lilm any such opportunity.
Good ulght"-Clevelaml Plain Denier.
What She Wanted.
Library Attendant—A foreign molting woman came In today nm! nskrd
for "Cuttuge Cheese." Frlcnd-Ha!
Did she think the library was n grocery store? L. A.—No; offer snm*
questioning I found out th.it Bhe wanted "Scottish Clilcfa-"-lloston Transcript. 	
* tova of Nature.
After a man ha* lived In lown about
twenty years. If lie lms noy poetry In
his soul, lie begins to love the scenery
back on lho old fiinn, which lie dldu't
have tlmo tu look nt when he wns
working sixteen hours a day.—Toledo
Blade.
Musical Note.
An "Old Oaken Bucket" aort of poet
conclude* a poem. "An' ao I love the
old plnno *lllt." We .nil like It still.
Peoplo with old plnno* should make a
note of till*.—New Urlenna Picayune,
Cruel Comment.
"1 would like to we uny man try to
Ll*s me"
"Oh. nobody dmiM* you wuuld Ilk*
■VlrJlalUiaaors Am-irlivaV
or amass aud wain flud*.
Every schoolgirl wbo foes In for
-ports will want a cozy macklnaw this
wlnter-ao easy to slip on and off,
practically Indestructible and exactly
Ibe right thing, for skating, when a
long coat or skirt Is so in thc way.
The macklnaw illustrated is a Jolly
looking affair in green and white plaid
barred off with black lines.
General *tosalie'*.N«w Ventura.
General Bosslle Jones Irto teach tha-
A B C'a of suffrage In a pcrlpaletle
school on Long Island.
Yes; the valiant leader of the snf-
frage bikers will continue to hike, but
In the Intervals of her bike sbe wlll
pause to instruct the unlnstructed. nnd
instead of General llosalle Jones sb*
will now bo Principal ftosnllo Jones,
wltb her former captains and aids-decamp ncllng ns members of her roculty.
Miss Ida Craft lias been given the position of teacher of parlliimentnry law,
Mis* Elizabeth Freemnn will beaU tb*
depnrtment devoted to voice culture,
the argument Class wlll bo under the
direction of Miss Elizabeth Lewis, and
Miss Jones will deliver a scries of lectures on tho history of suffrage.
School wlll bo held In a vucnnt start
In the main streets of tbo towns
through which the followers of Aristotle puss. A huge hell will be Intoned,
and tbe pickers up of learning crumbs
will gather to hear suffrage wisdom
voiced by General (or, rather, School
marni) Jones.
Tbe Jones Institute will merely start
to quench the knowledge thirst of
Long Islnud suffragists. Its memucrs-
wiil give one or two model lessons nnd
wlll then pick out capable Instructors,
upon whom Iboy will let their mantles;
descend nnd wlll pas* on to another
town with their suffrage scripts audi
textbooks.
Beads Add Celer te Smart Waistcoat
Nothing smarter to wear witli a dark
tailored suit could be found than tho
vivid waistcoat pictured. It Is muds
of burnt onion velvet brocade wltb
na boleiio armor.
facings of mandarin orange silk and It
further beautified with a  design to
bends of various hues.
For an nfternoon tea or an Informal
bridge party thla little accessory wtll
bring tbe street suit right up to tbt
requirements of the occasion
Ths Tango Coiffure.
The tango coiffure to the latest Id
the perfectly coifed bead.   It It a de
cldedly simple effect and yet at thr
inmo time a charming one.    Waved
liulr I* combed back straight from thr
forehead, with a alope upward, aad
colled In the prevailing Invlslhlo chlf
fon.   Bars nre again a la mode, some
lime* lire lobes exposed or morcly tb*
tip glimpsed through curis canght high
nl lho sido of tlio head.   There Is net
sny frlngo ucross the front of the forehead, but curl* drop nt the sides, •om*.
time* lu clu»ter» of three nnd again Is
one full ringlet falling low    One ale
I gle  ringlet  always  nrrompnnle*  ths
j mngii coiffure ou each tide of tbt (tea,
I (art, I MR  IMaAfllllEli, t ll.t1hr.hl.A11U
I
SPRING
MILUNERY
This department in receiving special attention in the
Big Store, nnd under tlie capable supervision of .Mis.
Clifford, those entrusting us with their outers will receive
attention, and the// men* lie assured of getting something
new, Miital-lt* anil seasonable.
Our models will lie replaced from time to time as tho
season opens out with new and smart lints.
Fur those wanting an everyday knock-about hat wo
hnve a very choice selection of very smartly-trimmed
models at prices which will meet your approval.
LADIES SILK HOSE
Just (arrived a shipment of New Silk Hose in all the
eading colors, good wearing quality.       Price $1.50
New Veranda Bamboo Blinds
In fall the wanted sines at 4 ft hy 8ft, 95 cents
;    Oft by 8ft, $1.50 ; 8ft by 8ft, $1.95
GROCERIES
Tn our Grocery .Department; we feel, as announced
in a previous issue, that by buying here you can save
ntore;.as ,\vell as depend on having the best goods, and the
liest of service.
A speciality in this department at present is a side line in
Alarm Clocks an ai time-keeper 75c. each
TUNGSTEN lamps
Presently you will p«y for what you use on your
electric light bill which, after all, is the only sensible wny,
a* it teaches economy iustead of waste. To have your
light bill as low as possible it is essential you have
Tungsten Usnps in every room as it is a decided saving.
We hav* just placed in stock a large supply of these at
reduced prices.
10.16. 25'& 40 Watt Lamps 50c.
60 Watt Lamps 60c. each
These are large enough for f ny home and no one should
be without them.   Every lamp tested.
Simon Leiser & Co.
LIMITED
"The Big Store"
Phone 38
JEIongChongCo.
I&per cent off
DRY GOODS
BOOTS and SHOES
At Bevan Store
LOCAL   NEWS
FOUND-A bunch of keys at No.
5 Crossing, also a small watch
with fob attached found on
Dunsmuir Avenue. Owner can
have same by paying for this
advertisement and proving property.—Apply at Provincial
Police Office.
The Nanaime-Extension rioters
will receive their sentences at
New Westminster on Monday at
noon.
Thomas Horbury has purchased
from Messrs Mounce and Grant
the two houses and lot at the
corner of Second street and Der-
went Avenue.
The first car load of Ford automobiles arrived in this city on
Wednesday consigned to Edward
C. Emde, district agent for the
Ford. There was seven autos in
in the railroad car.
An organization, to be known
as the Cumberland Symphony
Orchestra, composed of violins,
co-nets, trombone, saxaphone,
picolo, flute, piano and drum is
being started in this city with
J. H. MacMillan as conductor.
We are told James L. Brown
and Joseph Naylor of U.M.W. of
A. fame received an hurried call
by telephone to proceed to
Nanaimo and left for that city on
Saturday morning. Thie unexpected call to head quarters lead
the union men to believe that a
settlement was in sight especially
after reading what appeared in
Sundays Colonist. But James L.
Brown returned to this city on
Wednesday evening, when
questioned concerning the settlement at the railroad station
James had nothing to say. As
usual the results are nil,
The Secretary of the Board of
Trade at the last regular meeting
was instructed to write the E. &
N. Railway Company asking what
connection Cumberland could expect from that road when the
Courtenay Branch was completed.
H. E. Beasley, general superir-
tendent, replied as follows under
date of March 16: "I expect to
be in your vicinity with our Vice-
President, Mr. Marpole, in the
course of a week or ten days,
and will notify you so that we
will be able to discuss the question
referred to in your letter."
Mrs. H. T. Parker, of Cran-
brook. President of the -Rebekah
Assembly of B. C., arrived here
last night week on an official visit
to Harmony Lodge No. 22, when
a hearty welcome was given her
at a lodge gathering in the K. of
P. Hall. Refreshments were
served and a social evening enjoyed by those present On Saturday evening Mrs. D. Piket gave
tango tea at her residence,
Belvoir Villa, in honor of the
visit, Mrs. Parker serving the
tango cake. The visitor left on
Sunday in Mrs. Piket's touring
car for Union Bay. where she
took the Cowichan for Nanaimo.
. Every attention given maternity cases by Mrs. Edward Baldwin
West Cumberland.
Day old chicks, White Leghorn
$15.00 per 100. Hatches from
March to May. Hatching eggs
for sale $6.00 per 100.
Skinner. & Blenkhorn,
Nanaimo B.C.
CANCELLATION OF
RESERVE
Notice is hereby given that the
reserve, the notice of which
appeared in the B.C. Gazette on
the 27th. of December, 1907 is
cancelled in so far as it relates to
the following parcels of land;-
the W. 1-2 of the S.E. 1-4, the S.
W. 1-4 and the S.l-2 of the N.W.
1-4 west of the river in Section 4;
the S.E. 1-4, the S.E. 1-4 of ths
S.W. 1-4 and the N.E. 1-4 in Sect-
lion 5; S.l-2 of the S.E. 1-4 in
Section 8; the S.E. 1-4, the S.W.
1-4 and the E. 1-2 of the N.E. 1-4
in Section 16; and the E. 1-2 of
the S.E' 1-4 and N.l-2 in Section
21, all in Township 3 Sayward
District, and the N.E. 1-4 of the
N.E. 1-4 in Section 32; the N.E.
1-4 of the S.W. 1-4, and the N.
W. 1-4 and N. 1-2 of the N.E. 1-
4 Section 33; the N. 1-2 of the
N. W. 1-4 and the N. 1-2 of the
N. E. 1-4 in Section 34 ; and the
5. 1-2 and N.W. 1-4 of the N.W.
1-4 in Section 35, all in Township
6, Sayward District.
The said lands will be open for
entry by pre-emption on Monday,
the 18th day of May at the hour
of 9 o'clock in the forenoon; all
applications to be made at the
office of the Government Agent,
Vancouver.
No Pre-emption Record shall include more than 40 acres of land
except in cases where it is desirable to include small fractional
portions of le.^al Subdivisions;
information in which connection
may be obtained from plans on
view at the above mentioned
Agency,
R. A. Ren wick
Deput}'* Minister of Lands.
Lands Department,
Victoria, B, C.
11th February, 1914.
eiiirlirr nf fllmiir
■aiuo Muslral liltrrlnr lit Victoria Theatre,
«lllitlllt* ii|iil lliirli'im ; lluml.'ll Williinn.
Picture it rmulovlllo Tlicstre, fenj-hlll,
liu'-lmin ; lule Uriiiuiist iiuil rliiiiniinsh'i-
i.f Muvt..lil's-il<il11v.lMt'tlm.lis.11'riKi-f 'Isolr,
lllll-lllllll, Kniiliillil.
Has Vacancies for Pupils on
Piano, American Organ &
Pipe Organ, Theory,
Harmony, etc,
Terms Moderate
Apply-
P.O.Box398, Cumberland,B.C.
#. jpliillijjc- D'U'Hson
l'ain.st'T, Siiliciii.i-
* Notary Public
ajliiiiiofovte Tuition
Mr. RICHARD KIRKHAM, Jr.
Late Pianist of Criterion Theatre,
Dudley, and Coseley Picture House,
Wolverhampton, England, is prepared to take Pupils for the piano.
Apply: Residence, Derwent Ave,
or P. O. Box 112,
CUMBERLNND, B.C.
Biu-arii If. lirltlr
NOT ARY PUBLIC, CONVEYANCER
AND REAL ESTATE
ICuinlicrlaiiai, V. (C.
V. L TWAY
Contractor & Builder
Framing of all kinds, Mill Wrighting,
Installation of Mill Machinery.
Apply
V. L.TWAY, Courtenay, B.C.
1
THOS. E. BANKS
FUNERAL
DIRECTOR AND
UNDERTAKER
CUMBERLAND.B.C.
Phone 67
Agent for (lie
NANAIMO
MARBLE & GRANITE
WORKS
A)t;.\ HeiiitciMni, Proprietor
EaiHmates nnd net-iffiM funiM-lini
mi Application
CHOICE FRUITS
AND ICE CREAM
CANDY, CIGARS
See
Bannerman
Fire Insurance
For absolute
protection write
a Policy in the
London & Lancashire Fire Insurance Co. of
L iverpoo 1.
Total Assets
§2 6,7 88,930.00
Wesley Willard
LOCAL AGENT1
BERWICK
No. 8  MINE TOWNSITE
The Next and Nearest Property to the Mines,
Sawmills,   and   Absolutely   Inside   Property.
1-4 to 1-2 acre Lots, 60x80by 120
feet deep, $150 to $-225 per Lot
Easy terms.    You'll be on Easy Street in buying these.
It's the White Man's City.    We do not sell to Asiatics.
Lots arc selling fast, apply to A. Pailthrope, "The Store," Berwick, or
Harry Idiens
British Columbia Investments Ltd. courtenay
DON'T  DELAY  RINGING  UP  36.
" The Magnet Cash Store "
STOVES
HARDWARE
FURNITURE
T.E.BATE
Phone 81
Cumberland, B.C.
i***mmi
To INTENDING
PURCHASERS
OF
PIANOS
AND   ORGANS
We have just received another carload of the celebrated
Gerhard Heintzman Pianos. We win sell you a Piano
fill, easy month-;-"/ payments, He have several extra
good second hand pianos, that were taken in exchange
for new ones, at prices ranging from ^lOO and upwards
G.A.Fletcher MusicCo
NANAIMO,      . B. C.
IMPORTANT
AUCTION SALE
Tuesday, March 31st
Sale.ot the Farm Stock, Implements, Furniture, etc., at "Fairview
Farm," Upper Road, Courtenay, for Mr. George Jefferies
HARDY & BISCOE
Phone 10
AUCTIONEERS
Courtenay
Mrs. B. G. Crawford
DEALER IN
HAY, FLOUR &
GENERAL FEED
BARN IS NOW FULLY STOCKED AND IMMEDIATE
DELIVERY CAN BE MADE
Warehouse, Courtenay
Phone Y91 and R99
IMPORTANT TO CUSTOMERS-No Orientals, Agents, or Solicitors
employed.

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