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Understanding educational leadership anew : adult educators’ stories in conversation Ashworth, Joanna E. 2002

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UNDERSTANDING EDUCATIONAL LEADERSHIP ANEW: ADULT EDUCATORS' STORIES IN CONVERSATION by JOANNA E. ASHWORTH B.A., Communications, Simon Fraser University 1977 M.Ed., Adult Education, University of Toronto 1983 A THESIS SUBMITTED IN PARTIAL FULFILLMENT OF THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE DEGREE OF DOCTOR OF EDUCATION in THE FACULTY OF GRADUATE STUDIES Department o f Educa t iona l Studies (Educat ional Leadership and P o l i c y ) W e accept this thesis as conforming to the required standard THE UNIVERSITY OF BRITISH COLUMBIA March 2002 © Joanna Elizabeth Ashworth, 2002 In presenting this thesis in partial fulfilment of the requirements for an advanced degree at the University of British Columbia, I agree that the Library shall make it freely available for reference and study. I further agree that permission for extensive copying of this thesis for scholarly purposes may be granted by the head of my department or by his or her representatives. It is understood that copying or publication of this thesis for financial gain shall not be allowed without my written permission. The University of British Columbia Vancouver, Canada DE-6 (2/88) ABSTRACT T h i s research aims to disrupt and expand " g i v e n " understandings o f educational leadership by explor ing particular leadership instances o f the everyday practice o f adult education. Seven adult educators, i nc lud ing the author, offer narrative accounts o f planning, designing, teaching, managing, and creating programs for adult learners wi th a particular interest in the little examined d imension o f practice - educational leadership. The author works wi th the conceptual resources o f Hans -Georg Gadamer 's phi losophica l hermeneutics, p r imar i ly through the theoretical, evocative, and scholar ly work o f D a v i d Jardine. Phenomenology and the corner o f this phi losophica l f ie ld referred to as interpretive inqui ry , seeks not to explain why or even how we may practice leadership wi th in our educational practices, but rather to understand the phenomenon and its l i v i n g manifestations through the particular. Narrat ive texts are interpreted hermeneutical ly through a constructed conversation that highlights both the c o m m o n and uncommon understandings o f what it means to be an educational leader. Th rough wr i t ing and reading each o f these stories, a l i v i n g and breathing notion o f educational leadership is created. In dialogue wi th others, the author becomes more literate about the meaning o f her o w n experience. Such a dialogue invites the poss ibi l i ty o f recogniz ing the signif icance o f teaching as leading, and educational leadership as leading conversations about what matters in adult education, and in do ing so one gains a greater sense o f one's o w n leadership capacity. Implicat ions for the development o f educational leaders are considered. TABLE OF CONTENTS A B S T R A C T II T A B L E O F C O N T E N T S I l l A C K N O W L E D G E M E N T S V I C H A P T E R O N E : U N D E R S T A N D I N G E D U C A T I O N A L L E A D E R S H I P A N E W 1 I. Research Purpose 1 II. Absences and Opportunit ies: Educat ional Leadership . 3 A B r i e f O v e r v i e w o f the Tradi t ional Leadership Literature 3 Educat ional Leadership: A B r o a d F i e l d 6 Situated, E p i s o d i c , and Rela t ional Educat ional Leadership: A n E m e r g i n g Unders tanding 8 Intimacy and Understanding 13 III. O v e r v i e w of the Research 18 C H A P T E R T W O : H E R M E N E U T I C S A N D T H E I N T E R P R E T I V E T R A D I T I O N 20 I. Gadamer ' s Ph i losoph ica l Hermeneutics 20 Language and the Hermeneutics o f Unders tanding 21 Putt ing Tradi t ions " A t R i s k " 22 Conversa t ion as Interpretation 23 II. Cr i t e r ia for Interpretation 24 Between the F a m i l i a r and the Strange 25 Invitational and Open-Ended 26 III. Narrat ive Inquiry - M a k i n g the Past V i s i b l e 27 B e y o n d Subject ivi ty 28 Interpretation: Regenerative and Pedagogical 34 Frozen in Bogota , C o l o m b i a , September 1982 36 C H A P T E R T H R E E : E V E R Y D A Y L I V E D E D U C A T I O N A L L E A D E R S H I P : A P R O L O G U E T O S T O R I E S I N C O N V E R S A T I O N 44 I. D i g n i f y i n g the Everyday 44 II. Init iating the Conversa t ion 46 A n Invitation to the Others: The Interview Questions 47 T h e Co-Narra tors . .48 W o r k i n g wi th the Interview Transcripts 50 Themes 52 III. Matters o f L i s t en ing 53 Listenership 53 L i s t en ing to the Se l f 55 I V . A n Interpretivist Conversa t ion - Some Parameters 56 Conversa t ional M o v e s 58 Meta-statements 59 G o o d Stories 60 T h e R I T E S F ramework 63 Nav iga t ing the Stories: Crea t ing Structure and Coherence 6 4 C H A P T E R F O U R : S T O R I E S I N C O N V E R S A T I O N O N E D U C A T I O N A L L E A D E R S H I P "..65 I. Imprinted by Leaders 65 II. Read ing the Texts: Imprinted by teacher-leaders 88 T h e G i f t 88 A F a m i l y o f Educators and a Men to r 90 The Exuberant M r s . G i l l e n 91 Wha t Leadership is N O T 92 It's A b o u t Crea t ing Something N e w 97 I D o n ' t See M y s e l f as a Leader 98 i v C H A P T E R F I V E : T E N S I O N S A N D C H A L L E N G E S I N E D U C A T I O N A L L E A D E R S H I P 102 I. F r o m Reluctant T o Intentional Leadership 102 II. B reak ing wi th Tradi t ions 111 Between K n o w i n g and N o t K n o w i n g 113 Crea t ing Safe and Unsafe Space 115 III. Conversat ions That Persuade, Connect , and P rovoke A c t i o n 118 L e a d i n g M e a n i n g M a k i n g Conversat ions 129 Freedom and Lonel iness 144 I V . Courage and Ethics in Educat ional Leadership 169 A Fus ion of H o r i z o n s 172 Learn ing : A n Encounter wi th the Se l f 175 C H A P T E R S I X : T H R E A D S A N D T H E M E S F R O M T H E S T O R I E S I N C O N V E R S A T I O N .177 I. Educat ional Leadership Mindscapes 177 A p p l i c a t i o n : Unders tanding as Self -Unders tanding 177 Pre-understanding at R i s k : Between the F a m i l i a r and the Strange 181 T h e Language o f Educat ional Leadership 182 T h e R o l e o f Narra t ive i n Understanding Eve ryday L i v e d Exper ience 187 Stories o f Educat ional Leadership - A F a m i l y Resemblance? 195 II. C o n c l u s i o n 203 A n Invitat ion to Unders tanding 204 F ina l Reflect ions: O n B e c o m i n g Literate and Read ing the Texts of our Educat ional Leadership Exper ience 206 B r i n g i n g the Threads o f the Conversa t ion Together 209 R E F E R E N C E S 212 v ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS T o stand wi th in a communi ty o f learners is to be showered wi th possibi l i t ies for learning and transformation. A s a student in the Educat ional Leadership and P o l i c y Program ( E d . D . Program) at the Univers i ty o f Br i t i sh C o l u m b i a I have had so many opportunities to reexamine, reinvent and renew my practice, guided by the practical w i s d o m of the faculty and the members o f the 1998 cohort. I am grateful for their presence and active support, both inside and out o f the c lassroom. A m o n g other things, f rom them I have learned that l is tening in a respectful educative space is transformative. I am also deeply appreciative o f the co-narrators o f this research who patiently and openly shared their stories wi th me and whose interest in the process and the outcome o f the project kept me go ing throughout. The details o f their particular stories and their l ives have opened up the meaning o f educational leadership anew. I w i s h to acknowledge and thank the three members o f m y thesis advisory committee: C a r l L e g g o ( C o - C h a i r ) , Shauna But te rwick ( C o - C h a i r ) and D a v i d Coul ter , exceptional scholars, teachers and educational leaders a l l . T h e i r constancy, encouragement, and intellectual r igour challenged m y th ink ing and created a space for genuine learning. F i n a l l y , I thank m y fami ly for leaving me to m y o w n devices early i n the morn ing and late into the night for months on end as I happi ly laboured through the research and wr i t ing up o f this dissertation. Wi thou t those signals o f care and bel ief in me (e.g., cups o f tea del ivered to my door at just the right moments) I w o u l d never have made it to this point. C H A P T E R O N E : U N D E R S T A N D I N G E D U C A T I O N A L L E A D E R S H I P A N E W I. Research Purpose T h i s research intends to disrupt and expand given understandings o f educational leadership by explor ing particular instances o f educational leadership through the narrative lenses o f seven adult educators, inc lud ing my o w n ; our practices are connected by the c o m m o n thread o f our involvement wi th planning, designing, teaching, managing, and creating programs for adult learners. The theoretical resources o f D a v i d Jardine, a Canadian educational research scholar bu i ld ing on Hans G e o r g Gadamer 's phi losophical hermeneutics, in form the research approach and interpretation o f the f indings. Several stories are highl ighted that examine teaching-leading and educational leadership as ini t ia t ing and sustaining conversations and actions about what matters in the education o f adult learners. The overarching purpose o f this research is to understand the subject anew through an interpretive inquiry o f accounts o f particular, situated, everyday l ived educational leadership. A n interpretive inquiry begins by being "struck" by something; by being " taken" wi th it to the extent that it makes y o u look at things anew (Jardine, 1998). M y journey into an interpretive inquiry o f educational leadership began wi th such happenstance. Af te r many years as an adult education practitioner, in 1998 I became a student in the U B C Educat ional Leadership and P o l i c y Doctora l Program. It was in the first doctoral 1 seminar o f the program that I was struck by the surprising assertion made by my professor about educational leadership. "Teach ing is leading ," he c la imed . T h i s unfamil iar notion caused me to think about what I understand as " teaching" and " lead ing ." A s an educational designer, program planner and media producer grounded in the adult and cont inuing education tradit ion, I am a facil i tator and program planner first, a teacher or instructor second. Teachers, according to m y preconceptions, belong to the w o r l d o f young chi ldren. T h e y are didact ic ; concerned wi th de l iver ing content to empty vessels. In this w o r l d , learning is teacher-centered, whi le in the adult and cont inuing education w o r l d the teacher plays his or her role in a more Socrat ic or faci l i tat ive manner. Th rough the use o f dialogue and quest ioning, a Socrat ic approach to teaching leads the learner through a process o f inquiry . A facil i tat ive approach creates the condit ions for learning wi thout seeking control o f the outcomes. T h e facil i tator is learner-centered. The word , faci l i ta t ion, meaning " fac i l e" or "to make easy," impl ies a supportive, egalitarian relationship wi th the adult learner; empower ing and gu id ing them to reach their goals; teaching them to learn how to learn ( V e l l a , 1994). M y teaching practice is at the faci l i tat ive end o f this cont inuum. M o r e learner-centered or subject-centred than teacher-centered, m y w o r k as an educational planner and instructional designer most often involves developing teaching and learning resources and processes for adult learners, many o f w h o m are formal ly educated and sk i l led professionals themselves. Y e t I was taken by what I sensed was the deeper meaning embedded in the notion that teaching is leading. T h i s disruption provoked me to look to the or igins o f the w o r d teacher or pedagogue and I was surprised to d iscover a def ini t ion that did not focus exc lus ive ly on the didactic d imension o f teaching. "Ped-agogos," 2 according to the Greek means "one who walks a long side." Further, the e tymology o f the root "agogos" is "agein ," meaning,"to lead." The l ink between these two words "teacher-leader" was irrefutable, and although I was unable to articulate the s ignif icance o f this twinned meaning, this notion resonated wi th the experience o f m y o w n practice. There was also another related defini t ion o f educational leadership that addressed me. T h i s f rom the M a x i n e Greene, w h o suggests that educational leaders are those educators who intentionally seek to generate inc is ive and inc lus ive dialogue about what is going on in education (Greene, 1994). Intentionality and dialogue figure prominent ly in this conceptualizat ion. II. Absences and Opportunities: Educational Leadership The educational leadership literature is embedded in the traditional leadership discourse f rom psychology, management, and business w i th in the context o f organizations. T h i s section brief ly looks at some o f the main paradigms f rom traditional leadership literature, highlights current th ink ing in educational leadership theory, and then proposes an alternative perspective on educational leadership. A Brief Overview of the Traditional Leadership Literature The leadership approaches o f the past century have been dominated by a command and control paradigm of the industrial age. M u m f o r d , wr i t ing in the early 1900s, defined leadership as 'the preeminence o f one or a few indiv iduals in a group in the process o f control o f societal phenomena" (cited in Bass , 1981, p. 7). A bel ief in leadership as being embodied in a few elite men wi th natural abil i t ies and talents characterizes the great man theory. The main assumption o f this theory is that leaders o f 3 organizations or nations are born, ordained by the gods, not made. In the 1920s, trait theory posited that leaders are differentiated f rom their fo l lowers by their bravery, intel l igence, strength and capabil i t ies. In other words, they have "the right stuff." In • the 1950s and the 1960s behavioural theory focused on the behaviour o f leaders in two key areas: their consideration for subordinates, i.e., the degree to w h i c h they demonstrated fr iendly behaviour toward subordinates; and the abi l i ty o f leaders to initiate structure, i.e., the degree to w h i c h leaders structure their roles and those o f their subordinates in order to complete the group's goal . The O h i o State studies and the Univers i ty o f M i c h i g a n studies produced what is considered seminal research on behavioural leadership ( K o m i v e s , Lucas & M c M a h o n , 1998). B o t h studies suggest "effective leaders show high concern for people and product ion" ( K o m i v e s , Lucas & M c M a h o n , 1998, p. 39). H o w e v e r , inconclus ive results o f this research then led into situational contingency theory. T h i s approach suggests that how a leader operates w i l l depend on the personal traits o f the leader matched to a particular situation. Situational leadership (Hershey & Blanchard , 1982), substitute for leadership, and cogni t ive resources theory (Fielder, 1967) a l l examine the relationship between leader and fo l lowers . Char i smat ic leadership theory, or influence theory, rose to prominence in the 1970's (cited in K o m i v e s , Lucas & M c M a h o n , 1998), and much l ike the great man theory, minus the endorsement f rom the d iv ine , emphasis is on motivat ional sk i l l s o f the leader through the use o f powerful rhetoric f i t t ing the particular culture (i.e., i ron fist or sensitive protector). Transformational leaders are those who successfully implement organizational change for the benefit o f both leaders and fo l lowers . The needs and goals o f both leader and fo l lowers are in al ignment (Kotter, 1996). G h a n d i , John F . Kennedy , 4 and M a r t i n Luther K i n g are often referred to as transformative leaders. B i g change, rather than smal l incremental change, is emphasized. A d a p t i v e leadership theory (Heifetz, 1994) focuses on the need for leadership through times o f complex change l o o k i n g to the leaders' abi l i ty to communicate inner strength direct ly to help people f ind new ways o f th ink ing to match changing circumstances. Rost (1991) suggests that these 2 0 t h century leadership theories are l imi ted because they are: . . .structural-functionalist , management oriented, personalistic in focus ing only on the leader, goal achievement dominated, self-interested and indiv idual i s t ic in out look, male oriented, uti l i tarian and materialist ic in ethical perspective, rationalistic, technocratic, l inear, quantitative, and scientific in language and methodology. (Rost, 1991, p. 27) In this paradigm, moral issues are replaced wi th attention to excel lence. Transformational and charismatic leadership (Bass, 1990; Conger , 1992; and Kotter , 1996), in form approaches for understanding and implement ing change in organizations. T h i s theory is informed by research l ike the G a l l u p Study ( B u c k i n g h a m & Cof fman , 1999) that surveyed 80,000 managers f rom over 400 companies to determine what great business leaders have in c o m m o n . The study found, across sex, race, age and style that successful leaders hire and develop key employees based on talent rather than qualif ications and experience. They bui ld on the strengths o f h igh performers, define outcomes and expectations c lear ly , demonstrate encouragement and care, recognize good performance, and value their employees ' opinions. A n d according to this recent research, competence, responsibi l i ty , trustworthiness, fairness, and integrity are key components o f leadership. M o r e recently, Gardner (1995) has stressed the communica t ive and educative functions o f leadership and suggests that a good leader is able to create a story - a mental 5 representation - to affect the thoughts, behaviours, and feelings o f a significant number o f people. These concepts o f leadership have been cr i t iqued in l ight o f a more relational, social process and alternative ways o f th ink ing about leadership, i.e., the new quantum leadership as a "force f i e l d " that shapes and guides ind iv idua l and organizat ional behavior (Wheat ly , 1992). M o v i n g away f rom the command and control concepts o f leadership include servant leadership (Greenleaf, 1977) and leadership as stewardship (Sergiovanni , 2000), w h i c h shift the emphasis in leadership f rom control and persuasion to service o f others and moral authority. The new leadership theory plays d o w n the preoccupation wi th organizational hierarchy and prescriptive behaviour (Donaldson & Ede lson , 2000) and looks through humanist and post-modernist lenses at leadership as relational and episodic. However , traces of these traditional theories st i l l pervade the educational leadership literature that pays most o f its attention to the functions o f those in formal roles o f organizational management, not to educators and education. Educational Leadership: A Broad Field The Jossey Bass Reader on Educational Leadership (2000) discusses and theorizes educational leadership p r imar i ly f rom the perspective o f organizational leadership, c l a i m i n g to mark "what we know about educational leadership and where the f ie ld is /should be headed" (Fu l lan , 2000, p. xx ) . Leadership as stewardship and leaders as authentic role models are two themes explored outside o f the organizational leadership spotlight. There is one article on teacher leadership in the K - 1 2 context. In the recent edit ion o f the Adult and Continuing Education Handbook ( W i l s o n & Hayes , 2000), one 6 chapter only addresses leadership, and that is written f rom the perspective of administrators in post-secondary institutions. There are so many dimensions to educational leadership that it makes a foundational , comprehensive, or universal defini t ion untenable. Rost (1991) has listed 221 definit ions o f leadership, each one bu i ld ing on some aspect o f a previous defini t ion wh i l e sharing the c o m m o n denominator that leadership is a process, act or influence that in some ways gets people to do something. 1 Educat ional leadership is also dissected in a variety o f ways (Apps , 1994; B o l m a n & D e a l , 1993; B e l e n k y et a l , 1986; B lackbu rn , 1994; Coul te r & W i e n s , 1999; Dean , 2001 ; Gardner, 2000; Greene, 1978; Lamber t , 1995 M u r p h y , 2000; Ramsden , 1998; Sergiovanni , 1992; and Wheat ley , 1994). Y e t lists o f processes, traits, or behaviours are l imi ted in their abi l i ty to deepen our understanding o f educational leadership. W i t h so many definit ions and theories about what leadership is wi th in this broad and over lapping leadership research, there is significant value in explor ing the l ived experience o f adult educators wi th in whose day to day practices are significant acts o f situated educational leadership. Such moments o f educational A traditional view of leadership is based on assumptions of people's powerlessness, their lack of personal vision and inability to master forces of change, deficits, which can be remedied only by a few great leaders... The new vision of leadership is based on subtler and more important tasks; leaders are designers, stewards and teachers (Senge, 1990). Three interrelated definitions of leadership are heuristic: interpersonal, transactional and transformational. A fourth definition "community leadership" provides a heuristic distinction as well. • Interpersonal leadership involves influencing relationships that meet the needs of the parties involved. • Interpersonal influence is exercised in a situation and directed, through the communication process, toward the attainment of a specified goal or goals (Hobbs and Powers, 1976 cited in Blackburn, 1994). • Transactional leadership occurs when one person takes the initiative in making contact with others for the purpose of an exchange of things that may have economic, political or psychological value. The leader-follower relationship is contractual and is the most widely used form of leadership (Vonder, 1989 cited in Blackburn, 1994) • Transformational leadership occurs when one or more persons voluntarily engage with others in such a way that leaders and followers raise one another to higher levels of motivation and morality. The intent is to improve conditions for the group. The purposes of leaders and followers while distinct at the onset, become fused as each transforms the other. Transformational leadership is sometimes practiced in social movements, in teaching, and in volunteer organizations. • Shared or "community" leadership is defined as a "a consensual task," a sharing of ideas and a sharing of responsibilities, where a leader is a leader for the moment only, where the leadership exerted must be validated by the consent of the follower and where leadership lies in the struggles of a community to find meaning in itself (Foster, 1989 cited in Blackburn, 1994). Leaders and followers exchange roles whenever it serves the best interests of the community. Shared leadership is advocated and practiced in many environmental, peace, and women's organizations and more recently in coalitions and other collaboration-based groups (Blackburn, 1994). leadership are pedagogical ly r ich and deserving o f attention wi th in the adult and cont inuing education discourse. It is in the complex i ty o f narratives to ld o f l i ved experience wi th educational leadership (as it is interwoven wi th other dimensions o f teaching and planning and administer ing educational programs) where we are most l i ke ly to f ind " l i fe c rack l ing beneath its surface" (Jardine, 1998) and where it becomes possible to see the fami l ia r in a new way and the unfamil iar in fami l ia r ways. Situated, Episodic, and Relational Educational Leadership: An Emerging Understanding Smi th and Deemer (2000) point out in their chapter The Problem of Criteria in the Age of Relativism in the 2 n d E d i t i o n o f the Handbook on Qualitative Research that "we all approach a piece o f work wi th something in m i n d " (p. 889). In this research m y attention is focused on two interwoven notions o f educational leadership: 1) Teach ing is leading and 2) Educat ional leadership involves intentional dialogue about what matters in education. W h a t is o f interest is how these emerging notions, wi th in the traditional educational leadership f ie ld challenge a traditional understanding o f educational leadership, an understanding that continues to be dominated by functional-structural conceptions o f leadership and concerned wi th posi t ional power in educational organizations. In one corner o f the new leadership theory where leadership is f i rm ly connected wi th education in equal measures, Coul te r and W i e n s (2000), bu i ld ing on Arend t (1958) and Greene (1978), suggest that educational leadership involves ini t ia t ing and sustaining dialogue where meaning is created about what matters i n education. T h e impl ica t ion o f this concept is that educational leadership is a d imens ion o f a l l educators ' practices and as such can be found in any site where planning, teaching, and learning occur, i.e., in 8 classrooms, at p lanning tables, or in po l i cy meetings. A c c o r d i n g to these notions, educators are leaders when intentionally engaged i n forging a c o m m o n direct ion under condit ions o f diversi ty and who recognize the need to pub l i c ly just i fy their actions on the basis o f "goodness." T h e y recognize that their role o f "teacher" or "faci l i ta tor" goes beyond the faci l i ta t ion o f learning. W h a t I refer to as an emerging understanding o f educational leadership in adult and cont inuing education is not l imi ted to those in the formal roles o f authority, i.e., dean, director, administrator, manager, or supervisor. Leadership is not solely located at the top o f educational institutions or organizations, but is a d imens ion o f educational practice connected to practi t ioners ' theories and practices o f learning and teaching. T h i s notion o f educational leadership emphasizes the power and human agency necessary to "read" complex situations, make sound judgements, and take wise action (Shon, 1983). A n assumption o f this notion is that there is an inherent capacity o f people at various levels to be knowledgeable and active in exercis ing options wi th in complex environments (Giddens , 1982). Educat ional leadership is not something possessed by certain people; it is a social practice intertwined wi th the practice o f adult education. T h i s capacity for knowledge and action is l ike a stance or mindset that anticipates and leads f rom whatever level the educators is located in a communi ty or organizat ion. It is not a static role but part o f the interior life o f a l l educators. T h i s notion of stance is succinct ly portrayed in the f i l m , Mr. Holland's Opus. G l e n H o l l a n d (Richard Dreyfuss) is a new teacher who w o u l d rather be earning a l i v i n g as a composer. H i s pr inc ipa l , M r s . Jacobs ( O l y m p i a Dukak i s ) , challenges h i m , in this conversation: M r s . Jacobs: " M r . H o l l a n d , just the man I was l o o k i n g for. We' re fo rming a textbook committee for the next year's cu r r i cu lum, and I w o u l d l ike your ideas and suggestions. W e meet next Tuesday in the l ibrary ." 9 M r . H o l l a n d : " O h , I 'm very sorry, M r s . Jacobs. I 'm very busy on Tuesday night." M r s . Jacobs: " Y o u k n o w , for a good four or f ive months now I've been watching you , M r . H o l l a n d . I've never seen a teacher spring for the parking lot after last period wi th more speed and enthusiasm than his students. Perhaps y o u should be our track coach." M r . H o l l a n d : " M r s . Jacobs, I get to school on t ime every morn ing . Don ' t I? I'm doing the best j o b I can." M r s . Jacobs: " A teacher has two jobs! F i l l young minds wi th knowledge . Y e s . B u t more important, g ive those minds a compass so the knowledge doesn't go to waste. N o w , I don't know what you're do ing wi th the knowledge , M r . H o l l a n d , but as a compass you're stuck." T h e teacher-leader stance is significant. It breaks wi th the organizat ional language that pervades the leadership discourse. It recognizes the human agency located at a l l levels o f an organizat ion; and suggests that constructing and interpreting are actions wi th in the role o f the educator. Such a stance seems to involve a recogni t ion o f the moral basis o f educational practice, putting the needs o f the students first, demonstrating standards, and matching words wi th action (Manthey & T h o m p s o n , 1999). It reconnects leadership to education. Educat ional leadership is centrally about faci l i ta t ing learning, yet this connection often seems lost or disconnected. F o r example, in the process o f r ev iewing the adult education literature for enlightenment on matters o f educational leadership, wi th the exception o f A p p s ' work on educational leadership (Apps , 1994) w h o cal ls on the educator to recognize the importance o f the mora l , poetic and spiri tual d imension o f leadership, I found that the literature does not adequately address educational leadership in everyday adult education practice. The notion o f educational leadership as a situated d imension o f adult educators' practice was noticeably absent. W i t h i n this space I found 10 an opportunity for an organized way o f inqu i r ing i f the tradit ional notion o f conflat ing leadership wi th rulership meant disregarding the leadership d imens ion o f educational practice and, in so do ing , ove r look ing the possibi l i t ies o f learning and developing leadership capacity w i th in the context o f practice. I wonder too, i f other adult and cont inuing educators experienced this same disorientation. F r o m this adult and cont inuing education literature review I stitched together a heuristic f ramework f rom various scholars that brings a closer l i n k between the language of leadership and learning (Sergionvanni , 1992). A t this intersection I found a number o f scholars who offer insight into the deep complex i ty o f teaching, leading, and learning. Educat ional leaders are open and responsive to change (Apps , 1994); they approach adult education as a vocat ion (Co l l i n s , 1995); they are i nvo lved in re thinking teaching practices and enhancing learning strategies (hooks, 1994); they connect teacher's identity and integrity, as we l l as challenge received ideas and mentalities (Palmer, 1998); their moral authority is based on articulated ideals (Sergiovanni , 2000); they intentionally create "force f i e lds" or other "spaces" where people can learn (Wheat ley , 1994); and they understand educational leadership as leading conversations about what matters in education (Greene, 1978). W i t h this f ramework in mind to orient my inqui ry , and in the phenomenological tradition, I began a process o f re-examining my everyday l i v e d educational practice for some traces o f this emergent sense o f educational leadership. M y a i m was to capture and articulate the complexi t ies o f these experiences through the development o f a series o f narrative accounts. S tudying personal experience is an approach considered by many scholars to be o f particular value for reflecting c r i t i ca l ly on practice (Arendt , 1958; C o l e 11 1989; C l a n d i n i n & C o n n e l l y , 1998 & 2000; Bateson, 1989; B r o o k f i e l d , 1995; E l l i s & Bochner , 2000; F ischer & Forester, 1996; Gergen , 2000; Jardine, 1998; K o l b , 1984; Palmer , 1998; Polk inghorne , 1988; and T o m p k i n s , 1996). W r i t i n g narratively about several experiences has provided access to a d imens ion o f my o w n practice I have not intentionally la id c l a i m to in spite o f hav ing managed numerous complex projects and programs as an educational media producer, program planner, and trainer o f trainers. W r i t i n g , reading, and reflecting on these narrative accounts brings into sharper focus the leadership d imension o f the endeavours in w h i c h I a m engaged; T h i s interpretive inquiry has also contributed to creating a new mindscape (Sergiovanni , 1992) of educational leadership. T h i s emergent mindscape o f educational leadership supplants the tradit ional , un ivoca l image o f the leader as embodied in the strong, determined, goal - setting, command-and-control po l i cy -maker in a posi t ion o f authority. In its place is a more situated, episodic understanding o f educational leadership that stresses the importance o f power and human agency as w e l l as the d ia logic construction o f reality. T h i s rupture has opened up possibi l i t ies for reflecting on the imbedded acts o f educational leadership in program planning, such as faci l i ta t ing dialogue, fostering democrat ic condi t ions, attending to power imbalances and recogniz ing and responding to the ethical challenges that have characterized m y w o r k for the past 15 years. There were other events that also provoked m y interest in an interpretive inquiry into educational leadership. A mindscape refers to "theories of practice that leaders develop over time, and with their ability, in the light of these theories, to reflect on the situations they face" (Sergiovanni, 1992, p. 7). 12 Intimacy and Understanding In a graduate course in Narrat ive Inquiry taken wh i l e I was in the midst o f developing m y doctoral research proposal I was struck again by a particular instance o f educational leadership. It began when I read the article " L i v i n g our gendered l ives: compos ing narratives out o f tears and fears" (Norman & Leggo , 1995), in w h i c h student and professor reconstruct a series o f t roubl ing events that occur in a graduate level course on Gender Studies. The professor recounts wi th frankness and humi l i ty his inabi l i ty to resolve a series of t roubl ing events that lead to a profound conf l ic t o f v iews and acr imony among the students. In both the reading o f the article and m y part icipation in a c lassroom discussion that fo l l owed the reading, I was taken by the honesty and in t imacy of the story. 3 I experienced this sharing o f a messy, unresolved and complex experience as a powerful example o f educational leadership. T h i s intimate portrayal o f experience f rom the perspective o f the educator communica ted both strength and vulnerabi l i ty . One surprising outcome o f this story was learning something about how to be intimate wi th my o w n teaching-leading experiences that i nvo lved unresolved confl ict . I turned m y attention to a past experience, hitherto inv i s ib le , in w h i c h I was both a character and an observer. V u l n e r a b l e L e a d e r s h i p I n t he e a r l y 1990's I had a number of p r o j e c t s w i t h the h e a l t h department. One i n v o l v e d f a c i l i t a t i n g a community a c t i o n p r o j e c t w i t h a group of community p e o p l e concerned about the i s s u e o f a d o l e s c e n t s u b s t a n c e abuse. We formed a m o t l e y crowd of 15 or so - r e c o v e r i n g a d d i c t s The word "intimacy" comes from the Latin intimatus, which means to make something known to someone else. This original meaning has to do with the willingness to pass on honest information rather than to be emotionally close. 13 (young and o l d ) , employee a s s i s t a n c e p r o f e s s i o n a l s , a h a i r s t y l i s t l o o k i n g f o r a c a r e e r i n l o c a l p o l i t i c s , a t e a c h e r , some p a r e n t s , a youth worker, and m y s e l f , " t he c o n s u l t a n t " an e d u c a t i o n a l p l a n n e r and v i d e o p r o d u c e r . W e . a l l had our reasons f o r b e i n g t h e r e ; a l l of them p a r t i c u l a r t o our e x p e r i e n c e w i t h s u b s t a n c e abuse and the p a i n i t c r e a t e s . By t h i s time I had produced a number of f i l m s and p u b l i c a t i o n s on community p r e v e n t i o n approaches. I was t h r i l l e d t o be i n v i t e d t o f a c i l i t a t e t h i s p r o c e s s . We were committed t o a c t i o n , but we needed time t o get a p l a n t o g e t h e r . Many were i m p a t i e n t t o get g o i n g . "Soon," I pr o m i s e d them, " f i r s t l e t ' s spend some time g e t t i n g t o know each o t h e r . L e t ' s f i g u r e out what we have t o o f f e r and how we might m a r s h a l our t a l e n t s and p a s s i o n . " I n time we d e v e l o p e d a speaker's program f o r the s c h o o l and o r g a n i z e d a s m a l l group of young a d u l t s i n r e c o v e r y t o speak t o s t u d e n t s about t h e i r a d d i c t i o n e x p e r i e n c e s . The s e s s i o n s were v e r y moving. M i c h e l e , a r e c o v e r i n g a l c o h o l i c a t 19, was one of t h e s p e a k e r s . F o s t e r c a r e , n e g l e c t , s e x u a l abuse, a d d i c t i o n t o drugs and a l c o h o l , and e v e n t u a l r e c o v e r y b e g i n n i n g a t age 14, her s t o r y was sad, h o p e f u l , and absent o f s e n s a t i o n a l i s m . The s i l e n c e o f her audience was s t i l l and deep as t h e s t u d e n t s l i s t e n e d t o a s t o r y p r o f o u n d l y marked by l o s s ; l o s s so g r e a t t h a t even t h e drugs or the a l c o h o l c o u l d not c o n s o l e her any l o n g e r . A n o t h e r p r o j e c t we d e v e l o p e d was a community event f o r y outh. We c a l l e d i t "The W a l l . " Among the food , l i v e music, t i e dye t - s h i r t s , k i c k b o x i n g and t r i c k b i k e d e m o n s t r a t i o n s a t Ambleside Park, we s e t up a l a r g e , b l a n k paper m u r a l , s u p p l i e d p a i n t brushes and p a i n t , and i n v i t e d y outh t o w r i t e o r p a i n t t h e i r t h o u g h t s on i t . We c o n c e p t u a l i z e d xThe W a l l ' as a p l a c e t o e x p r e s s y o u r s e l f , t o break down t h e a l i e n a t i o n between the s e l f and the community, between the youth and the a d u l t s i n a u t h o r i t y . We argued t h a t the i n a b i l i t y t o e x p r e s s y o u r s e l f and t o be l i s t e n e d t o was a c o n t r i b u t i n g f a c t o r i n youth s u b s t a n c e abuse. We wanted t o p r o v i d e a forum and a c e l e b r a t o r y s e t t i n g where young p e o p l e c o u l d e x p r e s s themselves t h r o u g h words and images - poems,, r a n t s , o b s e r v a t i o n s , m i s s i v e s , c r i t i q u e s , about l o v e , l i f e , war, p o l i t i c s , v i o l e n c e , whatever. Hundreds of youth p a r t i c i p a t e d . T h e i r v i s i o n s and tho u g h t s c o v e r e d the 50 0 - f o o t l o n g m u r a l on b o t h s i d e s . Our l i t t l e group o f v o l u n t e e r s had succeeded i n p u t t i n g y o u t h on t h e map d o i n g something p o s i t i v e . A r t i c l e s and photographs appeared i n the l o c a l paper documenting our e f f o r t s . Meanwhile t h e l o c a l t r e a t m e n t c e n t e r had a l s o t a k e n n o t i c e o f our work. Substance abuse p r e v e n t i o n i s a p a r t o f t h e i r mandate, but one t h e y g i v e v e r y l i t t l e a t t e n t i o n t o . Who has time t o p r e v e n t p e o p l e from f a l l i n g i n the r i v e r upstream when you're absorbed w i t h h a u l i n g p e o p l e out down stream? I hear t h a t one of the bo a r d members was a s k i n g about who i s i n charge of the group. At the next community meeting one of the bo a r d members from the t r e a t m e n t c e n t r e asks me what my r o l e i s . "What k i n d of c r e d e n t i a l s do you have f o r u n d e r t a k i n g substance abuse p r e v e n t i o n ? " I l i s t t he academic and p r a c t i c a l p r o o f o f my competence, but the way she r a i s e s t he q u e s t i o n r i l e s , no, i t o f f e n d s me. I am i n d i g n a n t . Not because o f my own d i s c o m f o r t , I am happy t o demonstrate t h a t I have a good u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f the i s s u e s and dilemmas. No, I am angered on b e h a l f o f the group who may not be f o r m a l l y t r a i n e d , but c o l l e c t i v e l y has a r i c h e x p e r i e n c e and a w i l l i n g n e s s t o be t h o u g h t f u l about what t h e y can c o n t r i b u t e . I suggest t o J e n n i f e r , t h e D i r e c t o r o f H e a l t h Promotion a t t h e h e a l t h department t h a t t h i s k i n d o f innuendo o f a community-based group i s d i s r e s p e c t f u l and not i n the s p i r i t o f f o s t e r i n g community p a r t i c i p a t i o n . She agrees and c a l l s a meetin g w i t h the t r e a t m e n t c e n t r e s t a f f and b o a r d members. We s i t i n a b i g c i r c l e - the community p e o p l e , i n c l u d e d . J e n n i f e r doesn't mince words and s t r a i g h t away c h a l l e n g e s the assumption i m p l i e d i n t h e i r q u e s t i o n i n g t h a t o n l y p r o f e s s i o n a l s s h o u l d u n d e r t a k e s u b s t a n c e abuse p r e v e n t i o n . Even worse, perhaps o n l y p r o f e s s i o n a l s of t h e i r own c h o o s i n g . They r e f u s e t o back down, c a l l i n g i n t o q u e s t i o n a g a i n our r i g h t t o have a v o i c e i n the m a t t e r , c i t i n g t h e need t o be " p r o f e s s i o n a l . " By q u e s t i o n i n g t he e x p e r t i s e of t h e p e o p l e i n v o l v e d t h e y a r e c h a l l e n g i n g t he r i g h t s o f p e o p l e i n r e c o v e r y t o p a r t i c i p a t e - i n s u b s t a n c e abuse p r e v e n t i o n a c t i v i t i e s . P a s s i o n , commitment, t h o u g h t f u l n e s s appear t o be i r r e l e v a n t . The s c i e n c e of subs t a n c e abuse p r e v e n t i o n i s the o n l y measure. Never mind t h a t s c i e n c e i s f a r from o f f e r i n g c e r t a i n t y about what must be done about the problems. J e n n i f e r i s i n c r e d u l o u s . "These p e o p l e , " she says, r e f e r r i n g t o our group, "have c a r r i e d out w o n d e r f u l work i n t h i s community and you show them no r e s p e c t w i t h t h e s e q u e s t i o n s . " As she speaks I see t e a r s r o l l i n g down her f a c e . She chokes back a sob and the t r e a t m e n t c e n t r e p e o p l e l o o k away, unmoved. A t the time no one i n - t h e group says a n y t h i n g about what has j u s t happened. Jr * * • A t the t ime I d idn ' t know what to make o f this encounter. The group and myse l f were both heartened and angered by this meeting. O n the one hand, Jennifer 's heartfelt emotional response to injustice drew our attention to a co ld , detached, and "profess ional" bureaucracy that treats communi ty volunteers wi th disdain. These tears made us feel cared for and resolved. O n the other hand, the encounter knocked the w i n d f rom our sails. D i d we care too much about what these board members thought? T o me it raised questions about what k ind o f leader responds in this way. W a s this a " g o o d " response ? What 1 do remember now is that Jennifer responded l ike a human being, a vulnerable leader w o r k i n g wi th other human beings - not a clerk, manager, or administrator deal ing wi th a group o f customers. Her humanity and her tears pointed to the care and commitment she felt for this project, and also, I suspect for the many margina l ized members o f the communi ty for w h o m she felt compass ion. L o o k i n g back, it seems now 16 that our group "mis read" the meaning o f those tears. Rather than defeat, as perhaps we understood them, they should have opened a space for the poss ibi l i ty o f pushing past our differences wi th the B o a r d members. A beginning, not an end. B u t that d id not happen. W e never spoke o f them and their meaning was unclear. In M a x Depree 's book, Leadership is an Art (1989), he suggests that there are many moments when to weep is a s ign that we are intimate wi th our work ; that we should weep over admirable actions and deplorable ones, over t r iumphs and over tragedies. H e asks: "Wha t makes us weep? Superf ic ia l i ty ; a lack o f d igni ty ; injustice; great news; a word o f thanks; separation, arrogance; betrayal o f ideas, o f pr inciples , or qual i ty; jargon, because it confuses rather than clarif ies; having to work in a job where y o u are not free to do your best; people who are gifts to the spir i t" (p. 138). W e e p i n g is a sign that we are in touch wi th reality, that we are intimate wi th our vocations. Re te l l ing this story as I remember it brings together matters o f in t imacy, vulnerabi l i ty , and educational leadership out o f the pr ivacy o f memory and offers opportunities to evoke and invite others to reflect on a particular d imens ion o f educational leadership rarely the focus o f scholarly attention. A s I look at this moment over my shoulder (Tompkins , 1996) and wi th in the context o f the "Tears and Fears" account, this instance is r ich wi th lessons about car ing and vulnerabi l i ty as dimensions o f leadership. Bo th episodes get at something absent f rom the adult education leadership literature, w i th the notable exception o f Pa lmer (1998) who writes on the paradox o f vulnerabi l i ty and strength and the importance o f l i v i n g wi th the tension rather than l i v i n g wi th the outward mask that pretends there are no tensions. A s w e l l , the anthropologist Behar (1996), in The Vulnerable Observer, foregrounds this as the central d i l e m m a of 17 social science researchers - balancing the tough-minded wi th the tenderhearted. M y research attempts to open up some o f these tensions and d i lemmas o f educational leadership—these often indiscernible and uhdiscussable dimensions o f educational practice - and offer new stories that add to a fuller, more complex and perhaps more ambiguous, understanding o f educational leadership. In this search for understanding educational leadership f rom a narrative perspective I have moved hermeneutical ly f rom the particular instance to the general theory, to the literature on leadership, adult education, phenomenology, and back to narrative experience, to constructing and reading and rereading the narrative accounts of other adult educators interviewed. F o l l o w i n g the anthropologist, C l i f f o r d Geertz (1995), I have elected to put myse l f in the way o f specific experiences wi th the hope that the meaning o f these stories, constructed into texts, "bodies forth and enmeshes" me whi l e also enr iching the way educational leadership is currently understood. III. Overview of the Research In Chapter T w o I set out the basic tenets o f Gadamer ' s phi losophica l hermeneutics, pr imar i ly through the work o f Jardine (1998) and briefly highl ight a few key concepts inc lud ing : effective history, pre-understanding, understanding as a fusion o f horizons, r i sk ing tradit ion, the criteria for hermeneutic interpretation (focusing on three notions o f "openness"), the signif icance o f conversation as an interpretative approach, and the place o f narrative in phenomenology. Chapter Three is a prologue to the stories o f six adult educators in terviewed for this research whose ind iv idua l stories I have constructed into a "conversat ion." In this chapter I introduce these co-narrators and discuss the importance o f l is tening for stories, 18 present criteria for developing " g o o d " stories and interpretations, and provide some parameters for leading an interpretivist conversation. In Chapter Four I present the first o f two chapters foregrounding the stories o f the co-narrators i n conversation. T h i s chapter focuses on the impr in t o f teacher-leaders on these co-narrators through w h i c h their practical theories o f educational leadership emerge. In Chapter F i v e the co-narrators continue their conversat ion by offering a series o f specific educational leadership instances. These stories h ighl ight a range o f tensions, complexi t ies , and challenges in everyday practice inc lud ing : reluctant leadership, creating safe and chal lenging educative spaces, leading conversations that connect and provoke action, freedom and loneliness, orchestrating diversi ty , and responsibi l i ty. T h e connection is explored between understanding and courage and what it means in educational leadership. In Chapter S i x I br ing together the threads and themes o f the stories in conversation. The chapter begins wi th a summary o f the key points o f the "stories in conversat ion" and offers two o f m y o w n narrative accounts, one as an example o f the importance o f conversat ion in educational leadership. T h e other, "Street Phronesis ," is a site for reflection and learning o f situated educational leadership. The chapter highlights impl ica t ions for action learning for educational leaders. 19 CHAPTER TWO: HERMENEUTICS AND THE INTERPRETIVE TRADITION Phenomenology involves turning attention to life as it is actually l i ved " w i t h a l l the ambigui ty that life entails" (Jardine, 1998, p. 6). Phenomenology is generally concerned wi th the descript ion and analysis o f conscious experience. It centres on g iv ing voice to the l i v i n g text o f experience and "reawakening us to everyday l i f e " (Jardine, 1989, p. 12). In this research I draw pr imar i ly on the evocative and scholar ly work o f D a v i d Jardine, a Canadian professor o f education whose work in phenomenology and hermeneutics provides access to the interpretive inquiry tradit ion, and part icularly the work o f one key figure, Hans -Georg Gadamer. Central to interpretive inquiry is the playful explorat ion o f what can be "made possible" by understanding the particular. Part icular instances are taken up as "texts" and then read and reread for the possibi l i t ies o f understanding that they evoke (Jardine, 1998). A l t h o u g h I frame this research pr imar i ly d rawing f rom Jardine 's work in phenomenology and hermeneutics (1998), I refer also to the work o f Arend t (1958), C o l l i n s (1995), Greene (1995), hooks (1994, 2000), and Palmer (1998). I. Gadamer's Philosophical Hermeneutics Gadamer (1979), f o l l o w i n g his teacher and mentor Heidegger , asserts that one 's knowledge and experience, what he refers to as "effective his tory," are the basis o f one 's "hor i zon o f understanding." T h i s metaphorical hor izon is "the range o f v i s ion that includes everything that can be seen f rom a particular vantage poin t" (Gadamer, 1979, p. 143). H e argues that we br ing the prejudices o f our his torici ty to al l encounters and that 20 these prejudices and pre-understandings cause us "to approach things [e.g., objects and texts] wi th expectations o f what they are l i k e " (Linquis t , 1996, p. 3). In other words, we br ing to each situation "some aspect o f our past experience w h i c h we br ing to bear on a new p rob lem" ( C o l l i n s , 1995, p. 259). These expectations, "pre-understandings," or "prejudices" are present in a l l our encounters. Language and the Hermeneutics of Understanding W e are the bearers o f tradit ion, says M c l n t y r e (1984), whether we l ike it or not: Wha t I am, therefore, is in key part, what I inherit , a specific past that is present to some degree in m y present. I f ind myse l f part o f a history and that is generally to say, whether I l ike it or not, whether I recognize it or not, one o f the bearers o f tradition, (p. 221) W h e n we understand something, we do not grasp it as the th ing is itself, but through the accumulat ion o f "effective history." O u r understanding is enabled and condi t ioned by our pre-understanding and at the same t ime our understanding is l imi ted by the overal l "hor izons ' o f our out looks" ( M o r a n , 2000, p. 252). W i t h the acquis i t ion o f language comes a set o f "tradit ions" or set o f concepts that shape the way we perceive the w o r l d . T o have a tradition is to have a certain way o f l o o k i n g at the w o r l d . T h i s w o r l d v i e w , wi th w h i c h one interprets the w o r l d , shapes one's "hor izon o f understanding." Understanding, according to Gadamer , is an event brought about by language. Gadamer says, "the possession o f a language is not on ly a necessary condi t ion o f our being able to experience the w o r l d , but the particular language we adopt w i l l affect the way we experience i t" (Linquis t , 1996 p.4). Understanding is the process o f fusion o f horizons, but does not require re l inquishing one's o w n hor izon . T h e attempt to understand the other must begin wi th the recognit ion that we are separated by different horizons o f understanding, and that mutual understanding comes through over lapping consensus, merging o f . 21 horizons, rather than through abandonment o f one o f the interlocutors o f his or her ini t ia l ho r i zon . " ( M o r a n , 2000, p. 252) Hermeneutics is a practice o f interpretation o f texts based on the premise that human reality - the way we think about, discuss, represent, and convey possibi l i t ies - is embedded in language, both written and spoken. Rather than being a method o f inquiry per se, hermeneutics is the practice o f interpretation o f texts that moves dia lec t ica l ly f rom the particular to general (the part to the whole) and the general to the particular (the whole to the part). The interplay between "the w h o l e " i.e., what we already comprehend, and the "new parts" i.e., that w h i c h surprises and challenges us, is described as the "hermeneutic c i r c l e " (Kerdeman, 1998). The interpretation o f a text involves letting the w o r l d o f the text enlarge the hor izon o f one 's self-understanding by putting these pre-understandings at risk wi th the v i ew o f "fusing hor izons ." Unders tanding is the fusion o f past and present horizons; a blend o f something new, a new vantage point, or an expansion o f possibi l i t ies . Interpretive inquiry is deeply pedagogic and involves the "transformation o f self-understanding" through experiences that confront our prejudices. Such an experience is "genuine" in the Gadamer ian sense, when it wakes us up to something anew. T o be awakened signifies that one is "open to the other" and through social interactions or genuine conversations one learns ways to draw new meaning f rom experience wi th in the context o f an unfolding cultural tradition. Putting Traditions "At Risk" It is not possible to escape our cultural traditions, however Gadamer (1994) does highl ight the importance o f recogniz ing that whi le invest igat ing something, the 22 . . .process o f fusion is cont inual ly go ing on, for the o l d and new are a lways combin ing into something o f l i v i n g value, without either being exp l i c i t ly fore-grounded f rom the other." (Gadamer, 1984, p. 306) The central point o f Gadamer ' s hermeneutics is not that we understand something once and for a l l , but that by putting our o w n hor izon or stand point into " p l a y " and thereby putting it at risk, we open ourselves to what the other says, thereby mak ing understanding, or a "fusion o f ho r i zon" possible. A s Gadamer argues in Truth and Method, we "a lways already" confront a l l interpretation wi th a hor izon o f understanding (the array o f pre-understanding or prejudices that constitute our stance toward interpretation in the first place). T o move beyond the pu l l o f our personal hor izon o f understanding involves engaging wi th the "text" i n a genuine d ia logic relationship. Conversation as Interpretation Li te racy in interpretation involves a process o f reflecting on instances, thereby "ra is ing up" particular experiences in order to " a l l o w us to read our ind iv idua l l ives as fu l ly participant in the shared and contested, generative w o r k o f humanity as a w h o l e " (Jardine, 1998, p. 46). A s such, dialogue or genuine conversat ion figures prominent ly in Gadamer ' s hermeneutics. Wha t emerges in a dialogue or genuine conversat ion wi th and between these instances is "an expansion o f the contours o f the story each one o f us is l i v i n g out" (Jardine, 1998, p. 47). The author o f a text is not the f inal authority on its meaning. Putt ing the expressions o f experience into a text and into dialogue wi th others is central to interpretation. In the back and forth o f dialogue our diverse horizons o f understanding may be brought into light, tested, and perhaps changed. .. .The process o f questions and answer, g i v i n g and taking, ta lk ing at cross purposes and seeing each other's point, performs that communica t ion o f 23 meaning w h i c h . . .is the task o f hermeneutics. T h i s is the characteristic o f every true conversat ion that each opens h imse l f to the other, truly accepts his point o f v i ew as worthy o f consideration and gets inside the other. (Gadamer, cited in Burbules 1996, p. ix) Interpretive dialogue is not a method, but a f lex ib le and adaptable practice, one that does not f o l l o w a recipe or an a lgor i thm (Burbules , 1996, p. x i ) . A n interpretive dialogue may have an intended goal , such as answering a specific question, or it may be open-ended and divergent. II. Criteria for Interpretation H o w is a " g o o d " interpretation o f a phenomenon defined? Cr i t i c a l analysis or interpretation o f texts is central to the hermeneutic process. T h i s process does not have a f ixed set o f rules or norms to be appl ied to the text. Rather, it involves interpreting the text based on its context (i.e., the t ime, place, topic, the characters present and not present) and its parts. T h e intention o f hermeneutics is not to accumulate new information about a subject, but to regenerate g iven meaning and to disrupt the " o l d , established and fami l i a r " (Jardine, 1998). The focus is on understanding "anew." Understanding anew refers to the mul t ip le and open-ended possibi l i t ies o f interpretation. A c c o r d i n g to this perspective, a " g o o d " interpretation is not definit ive and f ina l , but is one that "keeps open the possibi l i ty and the responsibi l i ty o f returning, for the very next instance, and might demand o f us that we understand anew" (Jardine, 1998, p. 46). T h e goal o f hermeneutics then is not to establish def ini t ively what the experiences might mean, since "decoding, count ing and recounting the surface signs [of text, o f experience] are not enough. Rather, as we unearth the signs o f life c rack l ing underneath the surfaces we become more literate [and] we may become less l i teral , [less] stuck in the case without a v i s ion o f its s o u l " 24 ( H i l l m a n , 1983, p.28 cited in Jardine, 1998, p. 46). A good interpretation offers a k ind o f literacy o f meaning. The interpretation o f ind iv idua l instances is not a l inear process. M a k i n g meaning that is reliable f rom instances in educational leadership involves " p l a y " in the sense o f putting a g iven meaning "at r i sk ." Gadamer refers to play as being much l ike the relationship one has wi th a work o f art when it is experienced and understood. T h i s understanding comes about when the art addresses one, confronting one's assumptions, one 's pre-understandings. In such an encounter, truth emerges through genuine confrontation. " P l a y goes beyond the notion of subject and object. In p lay ing , we have to learn to lose ourselves in order to remain true to the game" ( M o r a n , 2000, p. 284). F o r Gadamer , in a w o r l d o f compet ing interpretations, truth m a k i n g is the process o f compar ing and contrasting interpretations. M e a n i n g emerges through dialogue between the author(s) o f a text or texts and the interpreter. A good interpretation involves openness. Hermeneut ics is a way to hear and we lcome "the other" (Caputo, 2000) wi th a sense o f openness. T h i s openness may begin by being awakened or confronted by the other. A n d through such a confrontation wi th the strange or different what is fami l ia r is ca l led into question. In conversat ion between the self and other - the texts or l i v i n g persons - meaning is created. Between the Familiar and the Strange Interpretation involves " m a k i n g an object and a l l its possibi l i t ies f l u i d " (Gadamer, 1989, p. 367). It makes the novel [e.g., incidents o f educational leadership] seem fami l ia r by relating them to pr ior knowledge, and makes the fami l ia r [e.g., what we already have 25 understood as educational leadership] seem strange by v i e w i n g these instances f rom a new perspective (Jardine, 1998). Interpretive work doesn' t s imply read the instance into a "pre-g iven ," closed, and already understood "past," but wi th the help o f the instance[s], makes what has been said o f [educational leadership] i n the past readable again by reopening it to new, generative ins tances . . .Wi thout these l i v i n g instances, [educational leadership] w o u l d no longer be a l i v i n g feature o f our l ives ; it w o u l d no longer be something that concerns us, that provokes us, that entices us. ...It w o u l d be a lifeless concept or name o f some object, w h i c h "stands apart" f rom the life we l ive , couched in some textbook, an object of indifference. (Jardine, 1998, p. 42) Jardine refers to this as "the fecundity o f the ind iv idua l case": T h e instance transforms what are the traditional understandings [e.g., o f educational leadership]. The shared and contested understandings in w h i c h we l ive are "ca l l ed into account" by the instance, made to "speak," change, accommodate, and, so to speak, " learn" through this encounter." (p. 42) Through the ind iv idua l case or instance both the strange and the fami l ia r are brought forth. W h a t is fami l ia r comes into question in l ight o f the strange. The true locus of hermeneutics is this space between the fami l ia r and the strange. In this intermediate space understanding arises, and this understanding is transformational. " W e understand in a different way i f we understand at a l l " (Gadamer, 1960, p.237). Invitational and Open-Ended The risk o f interpretive inquiry is that we "get lost in the flurries o f sense that make up our l i v e s . . . and the danger is in never reaching a conc lus ive understanding" (Jardine, 1998). A s discussed at the beginning o f this chapter, interpretative inqui ry neither offers a l inear methodology nor the hope o f a conclus ive summing up o f the inquiry . The strength o f Gadamer ' s project lies in an open and invi tat ional "dialect ic log ic of question and answer that awakens the reader to new ideas" ( M o r a n , 2000, p. 26 285). The intent o f this research then is not to establish the extent to w h i c h the phenomenon o f leadership in adult educators' everyday practice is widespread, but rather, what educational leadership is and what it means as a feature o f human l i fe (Jardine, 1998). Throughout this study I work hermeneutical ly, m o v i n g back and forth in conversation f rom the particular to the general, f rom the parts to the whole , between the literature, m y o w n experience and that o f other adult educators seeking "a genuine dialogue [which makes] truth manifest beyond the subject" ( M o r a n , 2000, p. 249). Part icular experiences written in narrative accounts provide the phenomenological instances of " teaching-leading" through w h i c h data is generated to explore interpretively. III. Narrative Inquiry - Making the Past Visible Inquir ing narratively and interpretively has awakened me to the topic o f educational leadership as "a fresh understanding o f something already understood" that has "opened up something that seemed 'over and done wi th" ' ( Jardine , 1998, p. 40) . In l ight o f these disruptions and awakenings I continue to construct narrative accounts drawn f rom m y o w n practice as an adult and cont inuing education program planner, media producer, and reluctant educational administrator. These narratives are offered as evidence that narrative instances, rendered into texts, have the capacity to challenge "pre-understandings" o f educational leadership, and offer generative possibi l i t ies for learning. I have attempted to work narratively in this introduction, " te l l ing m y story" o f the actual events of the past (historical truth), but more importantly, attempting to offer a good story (narrative truth) that becomes " m y experience," " m y p rob lem," " m y chal lenge," and inv i t ing the reader to j o i n me in w o r k i n g interpretively wi th this narrative (Gergen, 2000; 27 Reissman, 1993; Polk inghorne , 1988). B y inc lud ing m y o w n story "Vulne rab le Leadersh ip" and the other narrative accounts, I attempt to show through the events leading up to this inquiry m y confrontation wi th the subject o f educational leadership, Beyond Subjectivity A n interpretive inqui ry wi th in the tradition o f phenomenologica l hermeneutics does not begin and end wi th the subjectivity o f personal experience. It places the narrative text o f personal experience in conversation wi th the traditions wi th in w h i c h it is imbedded and it "p l ays" wi th the possible meanings o f the text through dialogue. It is in this spirit that I met and interviewed six other adult educators about their " teaching-leading" experiences. It was in this spirit , too that I transcribed the conversations generated in these interviews into " f i e ld texts" (Mish l e r , 1986) and found them to be fu l l o f narrative te l l ing , r i ch in metaphor, theor iz ing, questions and answers, and arguments related to educational leadership. These texts are the central feature o f this study. Narrat ive inquiry is moral work. The essence o f a narrative moment is where "a teller in conversation takes a listener into a past t ime or ' w o r l d ' , and recapitulates what happened . . . to make a point, often a moral one" (Reissman, 1993, p. 3). T h e narratives included in this study are replete wi th moral content. T h e y capture moments o f tension in a particular t ime and place when questions arise about what happened, what ought to have been done, and what it means to the narrator. T h i s research does not dwel l in broad generalizations or theories o f educational leadership. Rather I have elected to focus on a few particular instances o f educational leadership - as t ime and space permit w i th in the constraints o f this study - l i ved and experienced everyday by adult educators f rom a variety o f educative settings. F r o m these instances I move backwards and forwards 28 between the particular and the general, the practice o f educational leadership and the theory, l ook ing for a fresh and l i v i n g understanding o f educational leadership Hermeneutics means beginning "where we are wi th our situatedness, in the pre-given f ix in w h i c h we f ind ourselves" (Caputo, 2000, p. 55). Crea t ing narrative accounts o f such situatedness puts these beliefs and practices and these pre-given meanings "at r i sk ." However , as Arend t (1958), Schon (1983), and C o l l i n s (1995) suggests, it is diff icul t to understand an event whi le in the midst o f it. Ref lec t ion on practice is thus a key element o f phenomenology and hermeneutics. A s a rule, we do not grasp the meaning o f an action wh i l e we are caught up in its performance. Rather we turn back in reflection upon the f l ow o f action to capture its meaning. In order to understand the meaning o f my experiences, I have to pause, as it were, and glance backward on m y action. Th rough a deliberate process o f recol lect ion and retention, immediate experiences overlap wi th those o f the past. ( C o l l i n s , 1995, p. 265) A s both the author o f a story and its interpreter I have become acutely aware that narratives offer meaning beyond the or iginal intentions o f the author. A s Gadamer points out in the introduction to Truth and Method, on the subject o f intentionali ty, understanding is more than representation o f authorial intent. T o interpret "means precisely to br ing one's o w n pre-conceptions into p lay . " In the story that fo l lows about how I taught myse l f to sew when I was a young teenager, I illustrate how "understanding anew" begins by r i sk ing pre-conceptions. T h i s story was writ ten as part o f a narrative inquiry course assignment to "wri te about your vocat ion as an educator." I in i t i a l ly began wi th a descript ion o f how I approach my program planning process, but f ind ing myse l f bogged d o w n t ry ing to capture m y theories and phi losophy rather than a true 29 notion o f vocat ion, I remembered a presentation that I made on experiential learning that explored how I learned to sew. T h i s story is now a story wi th in a story. L e a r n i n g t o Sew I am 13 year s o l d and my f r i e n d Debbie and I are each e x p e r i m e n t i n g w i t h sewing a d r e s s from a p a t t e r n . There are no "sewers" i n my h o u s e h o l d so a l l I know about sewing comes from my own mudd l i n g around w i t h s c i s s o r s , n e e d l e s , f a b r i c , p a t t e r n i n s t r u c t i o n s , and my l i t t l e S i n g e r sewing machine. One of my f i r s t sewing p r o j e c t s i s a " s h i f t " -i t ' s a s i m p l e , s l e e v e l e s s A - l i n e d r e s s made of c o t t o n f a b r i c w i t h a P a i s l e y m o t i f . I have j u s t f i n i s h e d sewing the f a c i n g around the arms and the neck and p u t t i n g i n t h e l i t t l e z i p p e r i n the back. The z i p p e r i s a b i t p u c k e r e d but i t opens and c l o s e s e a s i l y and you can h a r d l y n o t i c e t he uneven sewing because of the p a t t e r n o f the f a b r i c . When I show my handy work t o Debbie she t h i n k s i t ' s g r e a t . "A b e a u t i f u l j o b , " she says . I o f f e r t o h e l p her w i t h her d r e s s . "That'd be f u n , " she s a y s . At t h a t moment her mother, a v e r y a c c o m p l i s h e d sewer, walks i n the room. Her mother s m i l e s s l i g h t l y a t me, at my s h i f t , and s a y s , "That's ok, I ' l l show h e r . " I am t e l l i n g t h i s s t o r y t o a group o f c o l l e a g u e s w i t h the i n t e n t i o n o f i l l u s t r a t i n g how p e o p l e approach l e a r n i n g i n d i f f e r e n t ways. My l e a r n i n g s t y l e i s t o immerse m y s e l f t o t a l l y i n the e x p e r i e n c e and t r y t o f i g u r e t h i n g s out from the i n s i d e . But as I t e l l the s t o r y , I u n e x p e c t e d l y f e e l l i k e I'm 13 y e a r s o l d a g a i n and I e x p e r i e n c e a p r o f o u n d sense o f h u m i l i a t i o n f o r what now appears t o be a mess of a sewing j o b . U n t i l t h i s v e r y moment I had never thought o f t h i s sewing p r o j e c t as a mess. My v o i c e c r a c k s as I speak, I f e e l t he r u s h o f c o l o u r i n my cheeks, and I am p a i n f u l l y c o n s c i o u s o f t e l l i n g a s t o r y t h a t i s r e v e a l i n g m y s e l f i n . a way t h a t I don't want i n f r o n t o f t h i s group. I t e l l t he group l a t e r as a p o s t s c r i p t t o the s t o r y t h a t I became an 30 a c c o m p l i s h e d sewer i n my l a t e t e e n s i n case t h e y thought I'd gone t h r o u g h l i f e sewing z i p p e r s i n b a d l y . A t the t ime I first to ld this story it was about participatory learning styles. W h e n I wrote it up as a text, it became a story about the dangers o f s torytel l ing and how wr i t ing and te l l ing stories may reveal things about ourselves in ways we may not even be aware. The process o f wr i t ing this account brought my pre-understandings about what a good educator should be l ike into "p l ay . " The shock o f such a confrontation wi th m y o w n experience is testament to the deeply rooted traditions in w h i c h I am immersed. O b v i o u s l y I bel ieved that a " g o o d " educator should be professional and highly competent in the subject matter in w h i c h she or he is engaged in faci l i ta t ing. There is no room for the amateur seamstress in this defini t ion. One mustn ' t offer to help another, or w o r k things through together until one is an expert. B u t the truth is , even now when I teach or facilitate, I continue to learn f rom such experiences. Lea rn ing and teaching in this story is relational. It is a process. A n d it is messy and iterative. W h i l e te l l ing the story in i t ia l ly to a group o f colleagues it aroused in me feelings of shame and discomfort . Wha t I considered a s imple and l ight autobiographical tale took on another, darker meaning in the te l l ing ; intertwined in the narrative l ingered something about the dangers inherent in te l l ing stories. The interpretation o f the story was out o f my hands. It was not on ly my interpretation that mattered. If I was to understand the ful l contours o f the story I needed to invo lve others, i.e., other texts and readers, where I might learn f rom a more whol i s t i c interpretation, and perhaps reach a new understanding o f this story's meaning. Exper i enc ing this loss o f control led me to 31 consider the importance o f te l l ing and learning f rom such experiences in "respectful educative spaces" 4 where it might be possible to create and tell and interpret stories o f vulnerabi l i ty and uncertainty wi th others in the spirit o f d w e l l i n g together 5 in the possible meanings they hold . A good interpretation o f this story is not defini t ive and f ina l . I have revisi ted this story many times since this first publ ic te l l ing and talked about it in conversations wi th friends and colleagues. A colleague who was present the first t ime 1 to ld the sewing story remarked to me the other day how we l l she remembers the way I was taken aback, c lear ly confronted wi th a new interpretation through the eyes o f m y colleagues. W h e n I reread the story in l ight o f M i c h a e l C o l l i n s ' (1991) w o r k on adult education as vocat ion, I was struck anew by yet another interpretation. T h i s interpretive " p l a y " or "happenstance" (Jardine, 1998) led me to understand that the story was no longer just about learning styles or unintentional dangers in s torytel l ing; it was also about m y vocat ion as an adult educator - about friends educating friends, in the spirit o f equality and caring. C o l l i n s ' w o r k examines what he refers to as the cris is in adult education "profess ional i sm" and advocates the return to the roots o f adult education as a social movement when the The notion of space refers to a number of interrelated factors including the physical set up, the conceptual framework of the educator used to explore the topic under discussion, the emotional ethos that the educator is aiming for and the ground rules that guide the educational inquiry. Such educative space holds paradoxical tensions. The space is both bounded and open; hospitable and "charged"; it invites both the voice of the individual and the voice of the group; it honors the "little" stories of the learners and the "big" stories of the disciplines and traditions; it supports learners seeking solitude and surrounds them with the resources of the community; and finally the space welcomes both silence and speech (Palmer, 1998,). 5 Habermas (1979) defines ideal speech conditions as the context for practical, genuinely democratic decision-making among groups of people with common concerns. To create ideal conditions for communication and genuine democratic discourse, identifiable distortions and coercive structures that impede rational discourse must be recognized and attended to. Rasack (1993) and Fraser (1992) contest the assumptions embedded in this ideal that there are educative spaces where inequality and or difference between person can be eliminated or where people can let go of their own particular interests. Wlodkowski & Ginsberg (1995) offer concrete suggestions for creating the conditions for learning where people have that intrinsic motivation to engage in learning - the focus is on creating positive attitudes about the setting, the instructor, and the subject matter; creating belonging and connection; making the content relevant and tied to one's own life as possible; and building opportunities to develop feelings of success and competence. 32 interests o f the educator were c losely al igned wi th the learner. "Fr iends helping each other," he says, " i s a necessary antidote for the c y n i c i s m , resignation, and self-centred progressivism of the hard-edged 1980's, w h i c h have left their mark on the literature and everyday practices o f adult educat ion" (Co l l i n s , 1991, p. x i i ) . Interpreting " L e a r n i n g to S e w " as a story about vocat ion offers an example o f what Gadamer means when he suggests that interpretation is to make an object (the instance) and al l its possibi l i t ies f lu id . The possible meanings are many. T h i s story shows the fami l ia r (i.e., learning to sew as an i l lustrat ion o f participatory learning style) made strange (by casting it as a story of vocat ion made readable again f rom this new perspective). Rather than being humil ia ted by m y l imi ted ski l l s wi th needle and thread, this recasting has left me wi th a sense o f pride in that 13 year o ld g i r l , her dedicat ion, car ing, and wi l l ingness to help others wi th their projects and goals in spite o f her o w n l imitat ions and imperfections. I had found a genuine vocat ion story imbedded wi th in this story. Autob iograph ica l s torytel l ing and hermeneutics in this instance, assisted reflection on my experience without abstraction or conceptual analysis, reveal ing more about m y vocat ion than I was able to recognize on the first or even second reading. Th i s hermeneutic experience provoked me to wonder i f there were not more such moments, instances, or episodes o f educational leadership worthy o f te l l ing , re-tel l ing, and interpreting; r ich in meaning and resonance for ourselves and other educators. B y mak ing these stories exp l ic i t they become discussible and their meanings become open for further interpretation through dialogue. T h i s "understanding between persons"—this dialogue between "I and Y o u " (Buber , 1958), this inter-subjective meaning mak ing 33 process - is the work o f interpretation and is central to hermeneutics. A s I d iscover and as Jardine (1998) points out, a " re l iab le" interpretation takes t ime, is open-ended, and tentative. P roduc ing a " re l iab le" interpretive reading o f [an] instance requires l i v i n g wi th [the] instance for a period o f t ime in order to learn its ways: turning it over and over, te l l ing and retel l ing it, f ind ing traces o f it over and over again in what y o u read, seeing the nod o f heads and faint smiles when it is used as an example in a class, scour ing the references colleagues suggest, searching m y o w n l ived-experiences for analogues o f experience, asking friends i f they have ever experienced anything l ike this before, testing and re-testing different ways o f speaking and wr i t ing about it to see i f these different ways help engage and address possible readers o f the w o r k to f o l l o w . It takes t ime to dwe l l wi th such an incident and a l low the s low emergence o f the r ich contexts o f famil iar i ty in w h i c h it fits. (Jardine, 1998, p. 45) W h i l e w o r k i n g through the interpretive process o f wr i t ing and reading and rereading texts o f my o w n narrative accounts o f educational leadership, and through the stories gathered f rom conversations w i t h m y adult education colleagues, Jardine 's description above resonates strongly. I am heartened and humbled by the possibil i t ies o f such an inquiry process and alert to the risks. "Unders tanding is an adventure and, l ike any other adventure, it is dangerous," says Gadamer (1983). Jardine, f o l l o w i n g Gadamer , cautions that: Involvement in interpretive inquiry runs the r isk o f getting quite lost in the flurries o f sense that make up our l ives . It faces, too, the dangerous insight that, so to speak, "getting somewhere" in understanding one's l ife is never f inished - understanding "a lways must be renewed in the effort o f our l i v i n g . " (Jardine, 1998, pp. 110-111) Interpretation: Regenerative and Pedagogical There are no s imple methods or prescriptions for "do ing hermeneutics." The primary interest o f hermeneutics has to do wi th how we understand ourselves in relation to the meaning that comes f rom a particular instance onto logica l ly . T h e particular stories 34 of educators o f adults - our struggles wi th power, speaking up, being vulnerable, act ing courageously, m o v i n g out o f comfortable zones o f practice, and acting wi th insight and authority - once spoken, may al l be fami l ia r to other adult educators who have a k inship wi th what we are ta lk ing about. That in i tself may be quite useful and interesting to explore; however , questions remain about what the task o f educational inquiry is wi th respect to such stories and how to do just ice to the particular instances o f particular educators in their particular t ime and place (Jardine, 1998). H o w do the interpretive discipl ines understand and address the powerful " fecundi ty" (Gadamer, 1989, p. 38) o f such incidents? Hannah Arendt , the pol i t ica l philosopher, has much to contribute on this point: Unders tood interpretively, such incidents can have a generative and re-en l iven ing effect on the interweaving texts and textures o f human life i n w h i c h we are a l l embedded. B r i n g i n g out these l i v i n g interweavings in their f u l l , ambiguous, mul t ivoca l character in the task o f interpretation (concerned as it is wi th the generativity o f meaning that comes wi th the eruption o f the new in the midst o f the already famil iar) and pedagogy (concerned as is wi th the regeneration o f understanding in the young who l ive here wi th us in the midst o f an already fami l ia r wor ld) . (Arendt , 1969, cited in Jardine, 1998, p. 34) (italics added) The story's fecundity is in its generative and re-enl ivening effect on understanding. A s Arend t underlines, interpretation is fundamentally pedagogic. A s we learn and are transformed, or altered in the te l l ing and retel l ing o f particular instances, our understanding changes, w h i c h in turn, has impl ica t ions for our actions. Wenger (1998) suggests that our designs and actions are held hostage to our understanding; how we act is intimately connected to how we understand. A n d this understanding is l inked to language. Wit tgenstein (1968) quotes f rom St. Augus t ine in the Confessions to illustrate the l ink between language and the process of meaning making : 35 . . .Thus , as I heard words repeatedly used in their proper places in various sentences, I gradually learnt to understand what objects they s ignif ied; and after I had trained m y mouth to these signs, I used them to express my o w n desires, (p. 3) W o r d s in their proper places about educational leadership f ix the assumptions we make about what educational leadership means. W o r d s can l i m i t our abi l i ty to see and think, and thus direct ly shape and l imi t the action we imagine and eventually choose. T h i s notion is explored in the f o l l o w i n g narrative account f rom an instance early in m y career. The story also illustrates the powerful use o f narrative to construct and reconstruct experience and to invo lve others in our search for meaning and understanding. M y reading o f the text remains ambiguous; it is open to continuous interpretation. F r o z e n i n Bogota, Colombia, September 1982 I t ' s e a r l y morning. I am s i t t i n g a t my desk i n the U n i t e d N a t i o n s Development Program o f f i c e s . My o f f i c e i s s p a r s e l y f u r n i s h e d ; I have a s t a n d a r d i s s u e brown desk and a hardback oak s w i v e l c h a i r . A n o t h e r c h a i r f o r v i s i t o r s f a c e s my desk and b e h i n d i t i s a w a l l o f f i l i n g c a b i n e t s . The room i s t i n y , about 200 square f e e t . B e h i n d my c h a i r i s a window l o o k i n g out onto a r e s i d e n t i a l n e i g h b o r h o o d i n mid-town Bogota. My desk i s p i l e d h i g h w i t h r e p o r t s and background documents and I am s l o w l y w o r k i n g my way t h r o u g h the s t a c k , a l l the w h i l e wondering what I s h o u l d r e a d f i r s t t o h e l p me get o r i e n t e d t o my new j o b as p r o j e c t o f f i c e r f o r t he World Food Programme. I'm d r i n k i n g s t r o n g b l a c k Colombian c o f f e e from a China cup, j u s t brought t o me by the l a d y who s e r v e s c o f f e e t o over 50 s t a f f members i n the b u i l d i n g . I'm 28, j u s t out of graduate s c h o o l w i t h a M a s t e r ' s of E d u c a t i o n , and a c o u p l e o f y e a r s o f development work e x p e r i e n c e i n B o l i v i a . Yet i n t h i s new p o s i t i o n , t h i s new c o u n t r y , and t h i s new o r g a n i z a t i o n , t o say I f e e l somewhat "a t s e a " about what i s e x p e c t e d o f me would be an 36 u n d e r s t a t e m e n t . My boss, B l a n c a de Paredo, i s a B o l i v i a n woman i n her l a t e 50s, a n u t r i t i o n i s t by t r a i n i n g and I t h i n k , p o l i t i c a l l y w e l l c o nnected i n her home c o u n t r y . She's out of town a t the moment, as she has been f o r most of the month s i n c e my a r r i v a l . When she i s h e r e , she doesn't seem t o know what t o do w i t h me and has i g n o r e d me as much as p o s s i b l e . Does she t h i n k t h a t a " G r i n g a " i s of l i t t l e use i n L a t i n America? I have a sense t h a t she sees me as a t h r e a t and I have a l l o w e d her t o i n t i m i d a t e me by s t a y i n g q u i e t l y i n my o f f i c e . I t ' s s t i l l months away from my a c t i v e engagement i n f i e l d t r i p s t o the r u r a l development p r o j e c t s where we have numerous s m a l l b u s i n e s s development i n i t i a t i v e s , l o n g b e f o r e I know any of the C o f f e e Grower F e d e r a t i o n p e o p l e , or my o t h e r c o u n t e r p a r t s from the M i n i s t r y of A g r i c u l t u r e and H e a l t h , or b e f o r e I meet the p e o p l e who l i v e i n the communities where the p r o j e c t s are underway, the b e n e f i c i a r i e s , as we c a l l them. S t a r i n g at the jumble of r e p o r t s , my h e a r t i s heavy -h e a v i e r even t h a n the sacks and sacks of f l o u r and r i c e we s h i p t o the v i l l a g e s - and even though i t ' s o n l y n i n e i n the morning, and I have ju s t - thrown back a s t r o n g Colombian e x p r e s s o , I am d r a i n e d and l o n g t o r e s t my head on my desk. At t h a t moment Norah, the program a d m i n i s t r a t o r knocks a t my door and e n t e r s . Norah i s my l i f e l i n e . She i s Colombian and has worked f o r WFP f o r 15 y e a r s and knows the p r o j e c t s and the o r g a n i z a t i o n i n s i d e o u t . She has h e l p e d me f i n d an apartment; f i l l out the paper work demanded of my p o s t i n g , get my b a n k i n g o r g a n i z e d , f i n d t h e g r o c e r y s t o r e . When she came t o p i c k me up from my h o t e l on my f i r s t day of work and I was w e a r i n g a c o t t o n s k i r t and a b l o u s e w i t h s a n d a l s - accustomed as I was t o t h e v e r y r e l a x e d d r e s s code i n B o l i v i a — s h e t o l d me t o change and put on a j a c k e t , s t o c k i n g s and shoes. Norah i s e n d l e s s l y h e l p f u l , e f f i c i e n t , and f r i e n d l y . " J o a , " Norah w h i s p e r s t o me l o u d l y i n a way t h a t has me l e a n i n g f o r w a r d a n t i c i p a t i n g some i n t e r e s t i n g p i e c e of news. "There are some p e o p l e here t o see you from Cordoba P r o v i n c e . " " P e o p l e ? " I say, p a n i c k i n g . I l o o k a t my appointment book, which i s s t i l l v e r y b l a n k . Do I have an appointment t h a t I've f o r g o t t e n ? I wonder. "What do t h e y want?" I ask. "They want t o t a l k t o you about why WFP d i d not approve the p r o j e c t i n t h e i r v i l l a g e . They're here t o t a l k t o someone about i t , " says Norah. "What can I t e l l them? I have no i d e a why t h e y weren't approved. T h i s was b e f o r e my time and I have no background i n f o r m a t i o n on t h i s . Why don't you t a l k t o them? You have more p e r s p e c t i v e on t h i s t h a n I do," I p l e a d . "But t h e y want t o speak t o someone from WFP. Someone w i t h a u t h o r i t y , " says Norah f i r m l y . I have about enough a u t h o r i t y t o f i l l a b o t t l e cap, I t h i n k t o m y s e l f . I f e e l t o t a l l y u nprepared t o speak w i t h them. "Norah, p l e a s e t e l l them I'm to o busy t o speak w i t h them." "Jo a , you r e a l l y s h o u l d speak w i t h them," says Norah. "No, I c a n ' t . I don't know what t o say t o them. T e l l them I'm t i e d up." Norah s h r u g s . "Okay, I ' l l t e l l them." And she walks out of the room and c l o s e s t h e door b e h i n d h e r . I can t e l l by Norah's f a c e t h a t she does not agree w i t h my d e c i s i o n . I hear her s p e a k i n g w i t h t h e p e o p l e b r i e f l y i n the o f f i c e r e c e p t i o n a r e a . At l u n c h t i m e I emerge from my o f f i c e s h e e p i s h l y and r e l i e v e d t h a t I d i d n ' t have t o d e a l w i t h t h e i r anger, t h e i r sadness, o r t h e i r q u e s t i o n s . * * * What is this story asking of me, I wonder as I write this years later with a lingering sense of embarrassment and discomfort? Each time I reread the above text, it's powerful grip on me is loosening and 1 am becoming less hard on myself for failing to act, more forgiving of my lack of courage, less shamed by my actions. Shauna Butterwick, one of my advisors, remarks that even though I say that the grip is loosening, the ghost of an old interpretation persists and my evaluative language sticks out 38 everywhere. " F a i l i n g " to act, and " l a c k " o f courage, even the title "F rozen in B o g o t a " -these words reveal the ways I see myse l f not measuring up to m y deeply held notions o f what leadership should be. Rather than leap ahead to consider what I should have done differently and offer practical solutions, w h i c h is m y first tendency, Pa lmer (1998) suggests d w e l l i n g more deeply in the dynamics o f the situation. A n d so I consider what might have frozen me, l ook ing for the insight that comes in such moments o f vulnerabi l i ty - to stay open to the possible interpretations. W h a t can I learn about myse l f f rom that moment? W h a t beliefs and practices do I put "at r i sk" in this experience? W h a t does this instance wake me up to? H o w do I understand this particular instance anew? Wha t is the soul o f this story and how can I become more literate about its meaning? A s I consider the experience now, I remind myse l f that I was new on the job , left to m y o w n devices, without a mentor, and "at sea" concerning the details o f the dec is ion-mak ing process i n a hierarchical organizat ion. I had tremendous respect for Norah and i f any one cou ld answer the questions, she was much better posi t ioned than I was to offer a response. In retrospect, though, I see that even i f I hadn' t been properly briefed I cou ld have listened to the v i l lagers ' story, and given them an audience. A n d I agree wi th another o f m y advisor ' s observations that "the story suggests that part o f leadership is to be held accountable even for those decisions that were made by others and to listen to those who are unhappy wi th the dec i s ion" (Personal communica t ion November , 2001). W a s I operating f rom the bel ief that to take effective leadership, in this case, meant I had to have an answer or solution to the situation even before it was expected or reasonably possible? I suppose I thought that the s imple act o f l is tening was not enough in this situation. A g a i n interpretation is useful: "It also makes me think that another 39 aspect o f leadership is to be respectful o f others. . . interacting wi th the vi l lagers as the "authori ty" is a sign o f respect for them." Y e s . T h i s seems true. I d idn ' t have a sense o f m y o w n authority yet. A n d I was shy of fac ing their anger, hosti l i ty or their sadness and disappointment. I can see now that l is tening to them d id not i m p l y a promise, an obl igat ion, or a solut ion. It w o u l d have s imply demonstrated respect for their experience. W i t h i n the hierarchy o f this unfamil iar organizat ion, wi th very expl ic i t and r ig id norms for protocols, pol ic ies , and procedures, had I inaccurately determined that I d id not have the authority to represent the organizat ion dur ing my apprenticeship phase? H a d I put myse l f into a straightjacket o f my o w n making? W a s Norah ' s advice right? A s I negotiate the meaning o f this instance, I am alert to these pre-understandings, situated and yet "amenable to being awakened and cr i t ica l ly examined" (Gadamer, 1963, p. 302). In fact, as Razack (1993), points out in her research on the role o f story in the construction of knowledge: "There are landmines strewn across the path wherever story-tel l ing is used. . . i t should never be used uncr i t i ca l ly" (Razack, 1993, p.56). H o w can I raise this story out o f the "burden o f its speci f ic i ty"? I am prepared to reflect and re-think m y understanding o f this experience (Gr i f f i th , 1995). For me this story reveals now that m y pre-understanding o f what act ing l ike a leader, l ike an "of f i c io de proyectos," should look l ike at that t ime informed the actions that I took (or d idn ' t take). The story opens up another possible interpretation about the value, respect, and significance paid to the act o f l is tening as an element o f leadership. Crea t ing spaces for deep l is tening as a practice o f educational leadership is a theme that is taken up in many of the stories o f adult educator. 6 In this particular instance I see, retrospectively, that I 6 Bickford (1996) suggests that listening is an undervalued dimension of political life. 40 didn ' t recognize m y o w n authority to act and "take charge" o f the situation, nor d id I even remotely consider that l is tening was a significant leadership action. I just d idn ' t understand what was possible wi th in my role. I had much to unlearn, yet I lacked the language, the "proper words" to understand what was happening. Here in are also important impl ica t ions for orientation and mentor ing o f new recruits. T e l l i n g and l is tening to stories such as this one opens up the possibi l i ty o f sharing practi t ioners ' experiences o f far f rom perfect responses to complex or cha l lenging situations and deepens our understanding o f our selves, our responsibi l i t ies , and our capacity to act in the w o r l d (Kegan , 1994). Through such stories m y knowledge and judgment are challenged as I test my "reading" o f an ambiguous and complex situation (Schon, 1983) and contribute to m y o w n reflective practice (Jarvis, 1999). T h i s narrative reflection and interpretation has the capacity to "unfreeze" past, incomplete and distorted understanding and offer interpretations that are more subtle and complex (Conle , 1999). Perhaps others who read this account w i l l have other interpretations. Perhaps this story w i l l be generative o f other accounts o f being "at sea" or of i l l - f i t t ing notions o f leadership that l imi t rather than support wise action. The value o f stories l ike this one lies in their abi l i ty to evoke or educe a response that strikes the reader as being fami l ia r in some way (Barone, 1992). Stories that " s h o w " through narrative, rather than "argue" f rom data ( E l l i s & Bochner , 1996), offer a powerful way to reflect on practice in a manner that is direct rather than second-hand, abstract, conceptual ized, categorized, or theorized. T h e interpretation o f this particular story is very much open-ended, partial, and ongoing . 41 Instances o f educational leadership intertwined wi th the day-to-day practice o f adult educators are most often unrecorded and unacknowledged; thus opportunities for reflection and learning are missed. A s busy practitioners, we are often so focused on s imply t ry ing to respond to the demands o f the work . Organ ized reflection is often undervalued, too, in the professional development o f adult educators, in favour o f the certainty o f app ly ing and/or testing a framework, mode l , or theory o f practice. K i n g w e l l (2000) express this importance: Ref lec t ion is conceptual ly distinct f rom theory. It is much more modest in its aims and aware o f the intel lect 's shortcomings - but also much more searching and powerful in its potential effect. Ref lec t ion involves the a lways incomplete attempt to make sense o f w h o we are and what we are up to, t ry ing a l l the whi le to do that most di f f icul t o f things - to l ive better. Theory believes it provides answers. Ref lec t ion knows that it merely pursues questions and does that often enough only tentatively or in the midst o f perplexity and sadness, (p. 216) T h i s systematic search for truth and understanding o f educational leadership is concerned pr imar i ly wi th "a passionate and d isc ip l ined process o f inquiry and dialogue i t se l f . . . " (Palmer, 1998, p. 104) beginning wi th the everyday experiences o f adult educators. Throughout this research process I have shared Jardine 's experience that: L i v i n g wi th [these instances o f leadership] and f o l l o w i n g [their] ways and engaging m y o w n life and the l ives o f others in an attempt to understand [them], changes who I am and what I understand myse l f to be. N e w possibi l i t ies o f self-understanding [are] opened up; o ld ones [are] renewed and transformed and rejected. (Jardine, 1998 p. 49) Part ic ipat ing in and leading this research has transformed m y o w n understanding o f adult education practice and unearthed this important dimensions - leadership. M y a i m is for this interpretive approach to awaken new understandings in the reader about educational leadership. 42 In the next chapter I describe the context i n w h i c h I began to engage wi th the co-narrators o f this research - the te l l ing , t ranscribing and interpreting o f instances - the troubles, ambiguit ies , and the s tumbl ing and surefooted action - o f everyday educational leadership. 43 CHAPTER THREE: EVERYDAY LIVED EDUCATIONAL LEADERSHIP: A PROLOGUE TO STORIES IN CONVERSATION Educat ional leadership is int imately embedded i n our everyday practices as adult educators. Regardless o f j o b title - vocat ional facili tator, choreographer, dance educator, painting and d rawing instructor, artist, business manager o f re-training programs, educators of adult educators, nursing instructor, universi ty degree comple t ion and contract services program director, media producer—educators in various roles engage in acts o f educational leadership. The leadership d imension is important to raise into v i ew, for without such awareness the insights we may have about what we do and who we are as educators are undiscussible i f they remain embedded, unrecorded, and unacknowledged. C o u c h e d in a textbook or a checkl is t related to characteristics o f leaders, or tasks o f leadership, how is it possible to learn f rom them? T e l l i n g and retel l ing personal narratives opens up the possibi l i ty to play wi th their interpretation, to dwel l in the possible meanings they carry, and to generate new understandings o f educational leadership wi th a v iew o f enhancing and transforming our actions. B y p lac ing such instances o f educational leadership into play as "stories in conversa t ion" this d ia logic encounter makes new understandings possible. I. Dignifying the Everyday Last summer wh i l e in L o n d o n , I had the opportunity to v is i t the Vermeer exhib i t ion at the Nat iona l Ga l l e ry . A celebrated Du tch artist f rom the ci ty o f Delf t , Ve rmee r painted throughout most of the 17 t h Century. W h a t drew me to the exhibi t in the 44 first place was his subtle depiction of domestic scenes; figurative paintings of everyday life; daily activities carried out in quiet interiors. Such moments, so often unnoticed and unrecorded, were dignified by his attention. The small, singular details of his portraits - a woman pouring milk from a jug at the window, the light reflecting on a pearl earring worn by a kitchen maid - reveal the essence of a moment and capture an approximation of truth. These dignified moments, executed beautifully, confronted me with their simple beauty. This experience reconfirmed my belief in the importance of foregrounding the everyday educational leadership stories from daily practice. I was inspired and resolved by the master artist's spirit of looking within a moment for the quiet dignity and its potential to communicate a kind of truth. This is what I sought to bring alive through featuring moments of educational leadership in this research. In keeping with the tradition of phenomenology I chose to engage in individual conversation with a small group - six other educators of adults - people whose practices I am familiar with and whom I respect and admire for a number of reasons. Each of them generously agreed to sit down with me and talk about their challenges and accomplishments as educators, planners and mangers of educational endeavours. From these stories told to me in the relative comfort, privacy and safety of a one-to-one conversation, I selected key stories and placed them side-by-side in a kind of conversation with each other. Why not just invite the group together to tell their stories? M y experience of facilitating group conversations has taught me that among people who do not know each other well , it is much more challenging for people to speak openly and frankly, to take up the air space of the group if they are quiet, or to sit quietly and listen if they are accustomed to dominating formal groups. I wanted to create a space (one-to-one) 45 for a dialogue where the participants w o u l d not be concerned wi th stating their opinions and positions but rather wi th sharing their experiences. Whether the experience o f one had anything in c o m m o n wi th the others remained to be seen. II. Initiating the Conversation I began this research by wr i t ing and reflecting on a series o f autobiographical instances f rom m y o w n practice, interspersed wi th reading and cr i t iqu ing selected literature f rom narrative inqui ry , leadership, and adult education. I then conducted six semi-structured interviews or conversations wi th each o f the participants or "co-narrators" as I have come to refer to them. In this ini t ia l conversat ion I focused on the participant 's everyday experiences, explored their mindscapes o f educational leadership, and their o w n leadership experiences wi th in the context o f the education programs and processes in w h i c h they are invo lved . A transcript o f each o f these conversations was produced and returned to each o f them for their review and further reflection. W o r k i n g wi th the transcripts o f these interviews I then constructed a master text or conversation between the co-narrators, h ighl ight ing specif ic stories and l i n k i n g them according to s imi lar themes. I also returned this text to the co-narrators for review and included a letter inv i t ing them to write their comments and reflections in the margins o f the text. I communica ted wi th each person v i a phone and emai l dur ing this process to the extent to w h i c h they were interested and available and some o f these written comments and suggestions provoked further changes to the text. One o f the co-narrators wrote after reading the constructed conversat ion, thanking me for the opportunity to see her experience through another lens and in contrast to other educators. "I can see n o w , " she said, "that there are many things that I assumed about what educational leadership 46 means." A n d so through dialogue our isolated experiences began to generate a more complex and layered understanding o f the meaning o f educational leadership. Th rough dialogue we began to k n o w something o f the soul o f our stories and our reflection becomes less literal and more "literate." An Invitation to the Others: The Interview Questions T o generate the interview conversation wi th each o f m y co-narrators I worked f rom an interview guide wi th six questions and several supplementary probing questions (although 1 am beginning to wonder i f almost any question can generate a narrative i f y o u are w i l l i n g to listen for one and patiently coax it out). M o r e or less, in a s imi la r way, I asked each person the f o l l o w i n g questions (the a i m o f each question is indicated in brackets): 1. Descr ibe a typ ica l workday and something that challenges or excites y o u in work these days ( A i m : to bu i ld rapport and establish context for stories); 2. T e l l me a story about a personal interaction/experience wi th a teacher, mentor or significant person ( A i m : to explore ind iv idua l formation o f leadership identity); 3. Descr ibe an interaction y o u have had wi th someone when y o u were act ing as an educational leader, i.e., L e a d i n g a conversation, cha l lenging assumptions, deal ing wi th confl ict , teaching a class, deve loping a cur r i cu lum, etc. ( A i m : to get at specific instances o f educational leadership); 4. T e l l me a story about a t ime when y o u faced a d i l e m m a in your educational practice and what happened. W h o was invo lved? H o w did y o u feel? ( A i m : to use emotional recall to reach deeply into experience); 5. C a n you recall an instance when you felt y o u lacked knowledge about what to do in a situation? ( A i m : to encourage explorat ion o f "less than perfect" performance i n complex condit ions) ; 6. Descr ibe a t ime when y o u experienced an intense emotion in relation to your teaching or learning. ( A i m : to evoke specific details o f a scene). 47 O u r talk revolved around several storied accounts o f specific instances when educational leadership was highl ighted. I have worked wi th these stories as wholes , not want ing to tear them apart or r ip them f rom their context for fear o f los ing the shape o f the ind iv idua l story. T h e d i l e m m a was to select a number o f stories and maintain their wholeness and their integrity, wh i l e f ind ing a way to weave them together w i th the others. T o begin this process o f constructing the conversation I read and reviewed carefully each transcript and selected two or three stories f rom each o f the interviews that show the range o f settings and situations in w h i c h educational leadership is embedded wi th in educational actions. In an effort to be respectful to the stories told to me by these co-narrators, I have attempted to focus, l imi t and balance the ones selected in order to do justice to the lessons that they hold . Interspersed throughout the conversat ion, written in the margins and between the lines, I have added m y o w n reflections and buil t bridges and transitions between the stories, drawn out some details and impl ica t ions wi th the eyes o f an interpretive researcher. F o l l o w i n g each instalment o f the conversation I worked hermeneutically to " p l a y " and connect the stories to each other, to the relevant literature, and to my o w n observations. The Co-Narrators O u r biographies are the source o f considerable knowledge and dis t inguish our uniqueness and locat ion in the w o r l d (Co l l i n s , 1995) and this personal history, this "effective h is tory" has a decis ive influence on the way we deal w i th day-to-day matters and what we br ing to our practices. The adult educators - the co-narrators o f this study -were invi ted to participate in this research for a number o f reasons. F i r s t ly , I know al l o f 48 the indiv iduals professionally and personally and am fami l ia r w i th their work to a greater or lesser extent. Secondly , I respect these indiv iduals for the commitment , creat ivi ty, and energy they express about their work. T h i r d l y , whi le each o f the ind iv idua ls share a concern and commitment to the education o f adults - they express these concerns f rom distinct locations - program planner, cu r r i cu lum designer, col lege instructor, vocat ional facili tator, innovator o f a degree comple t ion and professional development universi ty programs, manager o f private-public partnerships, and artistic dance director. F i n a l l y , I invi ted them to meet wi th me because I anticipated learning f rom them and the particular horizons they might br ing to the contours o f a conversation on educational leadership. I begin now wi th br ief introductions to each o f these co-narrators next before presenting the constructed conversat ion itself. I have g iven them pseudonyms to ensure their confidential i ty. Pamela is an adult educator o f educators and nurse educator, and in her volunteer capacity she is also a commit ted environmental and peace educator and activist. She moved to Canada f rom Ca l i fo rn i a in the early 70s. She has just turned 50 and carries herself l ight ly and gracefully wi th the strength o f the long distance sw immer that she is. Short cropped blond hair frame alert, clear blue eyes and s m i l i n g mouth. M u r r a y is the Regiona l Manager o f t raining programs for social assistance recipients in the hospitali ty industry. Former ly a successful restaurant owner, he has an elegant and d igni f ied presence. W h e n we first met to talk he was gracious, hospitable, and business l ike , formal but not distant. Jane is a vocational facil i tator in a f i sh ing and logg ing communi ty and a former schoolteacher. She has a d o w n to earth manner o f speech compat ible w i th her f r iendly 4 9 and pragmatic E n g l i s h w o m a n ' s sensibi l i ty. W e drank hot coffee and ate freshly baked carrot muffins whi le we talked. Jennifer is the Ar t i s t i c Direc tor o f a contemporary dance company, a choreographer and dance educator in schools and the communi ty . In her m i d 40s, she has a dancer 's long, lean frame and salt and peppered, waist length hair. A s she speaks her hands move constantly. She sits straight, but not stiffly, in her chair and seems poised to j u m p up at any moment. A n y a is a paint ing and drawing instructor in a communi ty col lege, and a figurative painter, born and trained in Ireland. Just 40 , she has dark red, w i n d swept hair and a wide smile . Her hands are paint stained and elegant. T h e y move constantly to support and emphasize her words. A grand storyteller in the Irish tradition complete wi th the G a e l i c turn o f phrase, in two beats she roars w i th laughter over the absurd and as qu i ck ly become somber and thoughtful. M u r d o c k heads an innovative program at a university that consults wi th and plans university programs for businesses and communi ty organizations. H e is formal ly a program director of a degree comple t ion program for w o r k i n g adult learners and in a previous l ife, was a bu i ld ing contractor for 10 years. M i d 40, ta l l , and lanky wi th the frame and intense manner o f the marathon runner that he is , he speaks thoughtfully, precisely, in carefully modulated tones. Working with the Interview Transcripts D u r i n g the ind iv idua l interviews I invi ted each person to share their stories about particular challenges and successes in their practices. Rather than present these stories in fragmented extracts to support m y o w n arguments and theories about educational 50 leadership, I began the interpretive analysis (Mish l e r , 1986) by putting these stories into play in such a way as to br ing out their c o m m o n themes, points o f disagreement, and the conclusions that might emerge. The conversation is buil t around questions concerning educational leadership and progresses in such a way as to create new understandings o f the subject brought about by the conversation itself. A s an expression o f praxis rather than a technical method, f o l l o w i n g Burbules (1993), I understand genuine conversat ion or dialogue to be based on mutual and reciprocal communica t ive relations: . . . i n v o l v i n g two or more interlocutors, marked by a c l imate o f open part icipation by any o f its par tner . . .Dia logue is guided by a spirit o f d iscovery , so that a typ ica l tone o f a dialogue is exploratory and interrogative. (Burbules , 1993, p.7-8) Gadamer suggests that a genuine conversation or dialogue performs the task o f hermeneutics when the participants open up to each other, truly accept each other's point o f v iew as worthy o f consideration, and "through the give and take o f question and answer, [and] ta lk ing at cross-purposes ...gets inside the other" (Burbules , 1993, p. ix ) . The conversation about educational leadership begins wi th introductions and touches on the co-narrators pre-understandings of educational leadership. E a c h o f the co-narrators has, to a greater or lesser extent, their o w n tacit theory about educational leadership that comes to l ight dur ing the interviews, and later, is highl ighted in the construction o f the conversation. Through this interaction wi th the transcripts and the construction o f the stories in conversation m y o w n mindscape o f educational leadership was st i l l emerging. "Teach ing is l ead ing" and leadership as the " in i t ia t ing o f conversat ions" was the basis o f a heuristic theoretical f ramework I had in m i n d as I listened for stories about l i ved experiences wi th educational leadership. I l istened for stories about what I considered traditional and emerging notions o f educational 51 leadership, I selected those stories that struck me as i l lustrative o f the l ink between " teaching" and " lead ing" as w e l l as those stories that foreground "conversat ion as leadership." I have interwoven the narratives; weav ing and st i tching and t r i m m i n g the stories whi le staying mindful o f their essence. T h e bumps, rough edges, and puckers are pressed and smoothed, not to make the story seamless, f lawless , or false (Behar, 1993), but to bring out the essence o f the experiences. W o r k i n g through hundreds o f pages o f transcripts, o f stories and opinions , theories and descriptions I approached the data as a designer wi th an emergent and generative process. I d id not know where I w o u l d end up, but I d id know that I wanted to create a conversation between these co-narrators without tearing apart their stories. A s one o f my advisors suggested, I held the image o f the "usefulness" o f these conversations as contr ibut ing to an expanded notion o f educational leadership. T o i l luminate , she added this engaging story o f her o w n : I have a piece o f fabric that I bought when I was in Tha i l and - it was a wedding cloth - an uncut length o f s i lk that I believe was worn by the man dur ing the wedding ceremony. It's a beautiful piece o f w a r m reds and soft greens w h i c h I'd l ike to use somehow - perhaps as something to wear or around the house. Bu t I cannot cut it - every thread needs to be included. I have yet to f ind a 'pattern' or ' image ' or a 'product' that w o u l d a l low me to use the fabric in a l l o f its beauty - an inc lus ive design. R igh t now it's in a drawer waiting.. . i ts essence, at least m y interpretation o f it, is something I want to maintain, and is the most important cri teria for what I create wi th it. B u t I do want to 'use' i t . . (Personal communica t ion , 2001) Themes The conversation that fo l l ows attempts to capture stories most l ike those told informal ly between fr iendly colleagues at a break at a conference, after a lecture, or w a l k i n g home f rom a movie ; those moments se ldom spoken o f or writ ten up in the adult education or leadership literature. In a l l , there are more than 20 short stories in this conversation. The interpretive process began the moment I began transcribing and 52 ordering and clustering the stories that share a " fami ly resemblance" (Wittgenstein, 1958). B y br inging these particular stories into relation, I strive to create a l i v i n g conversation "between equal ly respectable parties who care deeply about the outcome o f phi losophica l confl ic t because it has real impl ica t ions for their o w n l ives , and the l ives o f their students" (Kegan , 1994, p. 48). The conversation is organized around three key themes: H o w educators are shaped or influenced by other educational leaders or teachers in their practice; instance or moments in practice that reflect the challenges and tensions in teaching, learning and leading; and educational leadership as leading conversations about what matters in adult education. Creat ing the condit ions for such a l i v i n g conversation depends on an important foundation: L i s t en ing . III. Matters of Listening I suggest at the onset o f this research that the everyday l i v e d experiences wi th educational leadership are not w i d e l y represented in the adult education or the leadership literature. M a k i n g this d imension o f adult education practice v is ib le involves attending to this gap, this si lence, and learning to listen. Listenership T h e importance o f l is tening or " l is tenership" (Tannen, 1989) is a k ind o f l is tening for stories that is quite different f rom l istening to stories. F r o m t ime to t ime whi le I was deep in conversation wi th m y co-narrators, I struggled wi th an inner vo ice that questioned whether I was "get t ing" what I needed: "Is this a story she's te l l ing me or another abstract generalization and summary o f what happened?" I had to manage m y distraction dur ing 53 the interviews, to concentrate fu l ly on what each educator was ta lk ing about, to clear a space for each to speak about their experience in their o w n unique way , yet keeping the conversation f rom straying too far f rom the topic o f discussion. In this sense l i s t en ing /o r stories is very much a fo rm o f active participation. Forester (1980) suggests that l is tening is moral work: W e can be responsible for l is tening or f a i l ing to, and we can make a difference as a result. L i s t en ing is an act ivi ty o f being attentive; it is a way of being in a moral w o r l d . . . Hear ing on the other hand, has an object, a message sent and being received. Hear ing subordinates the uniqueness o f the speakers to the formal meaning o f her talk, her utterances; l is tening understands the meaning o f what is said in the context o f the speaker's l ife. (Forester, 1980, p. 219) In this research listenership continued we l l beyond the ini t ia l conversat ion. It i nvo lved l is tening for possibi l i t ies and w o r k i n g and r ework ing them to f o l l o w their meaning dur ing the transcription and the construction o f the conversat ion. Lis tenership invo lved being tenacious and focused about uncover ing what is not usual ly spoken. It evoked discomfort and confusion at t imes (mine and the co-narrators as I stumbled around wi th my questions); it often lacked certainty, requir ing t ime for returning again and again to the story - its t ime, locat ion and characters, its emerging themes and possible meanings and impl ica t ions for action. I continued to listen for the stories as I edited the constructed conversat ion, reordered and, in many cases, edited each story. A n d although the conversation itself, in part is a creation o f imaginat ion and edi t ing, I try to capture the artful s torytel l ing o f my co-narrators and am mindful o f not betraying their trust in me by mainta ining the integrity o f the stories in a way that captures the essence o f their experiences. 54 Listening to the Self Lis ten ing to others invar iably involves attending to one's o w n response, one 's pre-understandings. T h e wri ter A n n i e D i l l a r d (1982) remarks in Teaching a Stone to Talk and Parker Pa lmer (1998) points out in The Courage to Teach that when we encounter the unfamil iar or the surprising it is important to teach ourselves to l isten, and to practice respect rather than fit what is said into a pre-given framework. T h e openness o f an exchange is marked by this k ind o f l is tening. T h i s openness to differences o f horizons challenge pre-understandings and is the basis o f learning (Gadamer, 1976). In the stories told by the co-narrators about freedom and isolat ion in teaching adults, for example , I had to remind myse l f to d w e l l in the story and not to assume that I knew what they were really ta lk ing about. I had to resist leaping to interpretation as I was l is tening and tried s imply to be present in the interview and immersed in the person's point o f v i e w . I attempted to listen for the absences - ho l lows , centers, caverns wi th in the talk and not assume I understood the meaning o f particular words. I also tried to listen to the co-narrators' moral language, their evaluation o f themselves as they told their stories. W h e n one o f the co-narrators said," I felt l ike such a fa i lure" or another said, "I am not a leader" I tried to hold these statements carefully so that I cou ld hear the story f rom the speaker's point o f v i ew, f rom their " h o r i z o n . " N o t to rush in wi th theories (Fischer & Forester, 1996) to expla in , but to dwe l l wi th the boundlessness o f the meaning Jardine (1998); to listen for what is there and what is miss ing , to listen for the spaces between and behind the words. T o listen w e l l I need to " h o l d in abeyance the theories that told me what to hear and how to interpret what these educators had to say" (Anderson & Jack, 1991). L i s t en ing wi th "the third ear" (Reik , 1948) does not mean abandoning the fami l ia r in 55 favour o f the unknown or the strange. It means being awake and present, staying open to the possibi l i t ies o f the l imita t ions o f our k n o w i n g and being, thus m a k i n g it possible to explore alternatives and examine our pre-given stances (Kerdeman , 1998). Throughout the research process I had a sensation o f being caught in a cross current - as I set aside o ld theories about educational leadership and took up a more situated notion o f educational leadership. I wondered, as I l istened, i f the co-narrators were speaking f rom a traditional educational leadership paradigm or i f at times they too were opening up to a new understanding. I also worr ied dur ing the interview process that the co-narrators were not te l l ing me stories, 7 yet I found dur ing the transcription process an abundance o f narrative accounts that d ig into experience in sometimes subtle, sometimes provocat ive, and often evocative ways. IV. An Interpretivist Conversation - Some Parameters A n interpretive question is posed to generate inqui ry , without ho ld ing a correct answer in mind . In this same way, an interpretive conversation among seven indiv iduals has many twists and turns around stories, theories, and concepts that contribute to mak ing the subject o f educational leadership one that " l ives and breathes" (Jardine, 1998). Wha t is said about educational leadership bui lds on the ideas of the other speakers. There is an inherent l og i c to the conversat ion. W h e n a question is posed, or a comment offered, the next response builds on and adds to what came before. Where the conversation goes is The classic story structure, according to Aristotle's Poetics, has a beginning, middle, and an end. A narrator makes a plot out of disordered experience thereby making sense of particularly complex or difficult experience. Polkinghorne (1995) defines these stories as a kind of narrative that signify a succession of incidents into a unified episode. Bruner (1990) refers to them as actions and encounters to which the narrators give particular meaning. 56 open and boundless, al though the intention is that the outcome focuses around the central idea or object f rom w h i c h emerges a new understanding or appreciation. A c c o r d i n g to Lamber t (1995) and Burbules (1993), there are four key phases o f such a conversation: ini t ia t ing, sustaining, constructing, and c los ing . Initiating involves getting people to come together to bridge the meaning mak ing f rom their personal experience to a shared understanding. T h i s phase may begin wi th a reflective question or begin wi th metaphors or stories. Sustaining the conversation involves demonstrating a mutual respect and openness to diverse v iewpoints ; mul t ip le responses helping to break f rom deeply held ideas and to entertain new ways o f th ink ing and acting. Constructing involves a certain amount o f ambigui ty and uncertainty f rom w h i c h emerges a more complex understanding o f the question at hand. Ques t ioning assumptions, values, and beliefs takes the process to another leve l . Closing activities create communi t ies o f memory and commitment . L i v e l y discussion can lead to informat ion over load that can lead to forgetting. It is therefore important to summarize , f ind patterns that connect, that create metaphors, and generate new questions and commitment to action. H o n o r i n g a lack of consensus and agreeing to continue the process are equal ly important. It is also important to be able to shift f rom group meaning to personal meaning w h i c h is essential to establish commitment (Lambert , 1995). Af te r constructing the conversat ion I found that I had intui t ively included these four phases to a greater or lesser extent (i.e., ini t ia t ing, sustaining, constructing and closing) , but returned again to the text wi th this f ramework in mind to tune and refine the conversation. The particular experiences o f each co-narrator brought together in conversation holds possibi l i t ies for a greater understanding o f the whole . Issacs (1999) puts it l ike this: 57 If there is any one thing that dialogue has to offer above a l l else, it is a process and method by w h i c h the awareness and understanding that y o u already possess may surface in y o u and be acted upon. T h i s is what it means to take wholeness seriously, (p. 385) T o take wholeness seriously involves honouring and paying attention to the smal l moments and their s ignif icance for action. Genuine dialogue creates conceptual fields that deepen or shift th ink ing . Lamber t (1995) observes that when group members become excited about the emerging relevance of the conversation, the group self-organizes around the emerging concepts. Together groups negotiate meaning and labor toward new understanding. T h e leaders o f such conversations do not control by te l l ing paricipants what their experiences mean, but they act ively and intentionally assist in meaning mak ing by asking questions and rephrasing ideas to help others create c o m m o n maps f rom w h i c h to act. T h e conceptual f ie ld created by the conversation serves as the m e d i u m for the reciprocal process o f understanding and meaning making . "[These] few s imple rules can frame, deepen, and move the conversation to facilitate the construction o f meaning" (Lambert , 1995, p. 105). "Conversat ional moves" are important for creating and mainta in ing coherence, structure and focus. Conversational Moves A s the researcher and constructor o f this conversat ion, I have, upon rereading the constructed conversation, discovered that quite unconsciously or intui t ively I have used what Burbules (1993) refers to as "conversational moves ." These moves are communica t ive acts intended to shape the substance o f what is being said by each o f the co-narrators and to strengthen the connect ion among and between each person in the conversation. Some examples o f these "moves" include: using analogies to resonate wi th 58 what has been said as a way o f restating; using internal cross references (i.e., referring to what has already been said earlier in the conversation by one o f the co-narrators that is s imi la r to what is being discussed); using v i v i d imagery (i.e., suggesting a metaphor or titles for each story attempts to capture the images the story evokes); using humour (i.e., on many occasions laughter breaks out and moments o f levi ty punctuate often intense and serious stories); and by volunteer ing significant new information (i.e., adding m y emerging understanding o f educational leadership to the conversat ion, references to the literature, and my own personal experience). In rev iewing my o w n comments and reflections throughout the conversat ion I noticed m y words o f encouragement, expression o f gratitude, and expl ic i t statements o f agreement. M o r e than just comments on the substance o f the discuss ion, these statements are attempts to "create and maintain the bond o f mutual concern, trust, respect, appreciation, and affection that are crucia l to a successful ongoing d ia logue" (Burbules , 1993 p. 136). Meta-statements Participants in an interpretivist conversation bu i ld on each other's comments and in so do ing generate new ideas about the topic under discussion and create the opportunity for the truth about the topic to emerge. M e a n i n g comes out o f a subjective interchange between people through speaking and l is tening. In the pause between the. te l l ing o f a story and the reflection on what is being said lies the poss ibi l i ty in that same moment, for the speaker, to arrive at a new place o f understanding. G l u c k and Patai (1995) refer to these meaningful statements as meta-statements. Several such "meta-statements" occur throughout the conversation. F o r instance, when Jane, the vocational 59 counselor, states that she does not see herself as an educational leader (in the traditional sense) and then provides several specific instances where indeed she is very much taking leadership (in an emerging sense). Jennifer, the choreographer, reflects on her past col laborat ive leadership experiences by referring to this approach as passive as opposed to her current approach that is more intentional. Pamela , the "educator o f adult educators," talks about want ing to be authentic and " rea l " w i th the learners, yet according to her defini t ion o f educational leadership she does not think it is appropriate to "show the cracks" (the imperfections or uncertainties) in her practice. A s she thinks aloud about the courage to teach as being " rea l " about showing the cracks, she seems to recognize in the space between these two notions a shift ing o f her o w n per-understanding o f educational leadership. These examples o f meta-statements seem to occur at moments when the co-narrators are taken by surprise or stopped up short as they encounter their assumptions head on. Such moments are o f profound pedagogical s ignif icance and are what Gadamer (1993) refers to as "an encounter" that results in understanding over and above our want ing and doing. Good Stories In the te l l ing o f stories and sharing them wi th others in conversat ion "they make a c l a i m on us and open up and reveal something to us about our l ives together" (Jardine, 1998, p. 40) . It is in the particular instances o f these stories where we become more intimate wi th our practices. B r i n g i n g the ind iv idua l , particular, and private stories into conversation is an opportunity to speak, listen and learn f rom each other. Genuine conversation involves not only t ry ing to convey one's o w n understanding to another, but also involves l is tening to another's words and responding to how one understands their 60 meaning. B e c o m i n g literate in this sense involves not on ly te l l ing or l is tening to the story but also l ook ing for a v i s ion o f its soul , its meaning. The story is not l imi ted to be longing to the co-narrator, but, as Gadamer (1989) suggests, through conversat ion and through interpretation, it is raised out o f "the burden o f its speci f ic i ty ." Af te r f in i sh ing the last o f many edited versions o f the conversat ion, I e-mailed a friend o f mine who is a screenwriter and who has also been m y editor on many print-based cu r r i cu lum projects I have written over the years. I was seeking her feedback on the way the f o l l o w i n g stories o f the educators "read" and what I might do to make them more engaging to other readers who , unl ike me, are reading these stories for the first t ime. I sent her this note to entice her to read these stories and offer her thoughts, impressions, and responses: The f o l l o w i n g is a "constructed conversat ion" between myse l f and six educators te l l ing stories o f their " l ived experiences" wi th educational leadership. I have become too attached to each and every word they utter (even though I have edited pages and pages f rom the or iginal transcripts and f rom this current fo rm, rearranged, tightened and loosened dialogue, cleaned up grammar and syntax and strengthened the narrative structure). S t i l l I wonder how to use fewer words and be more engaging without los ing the ind iv idua l voices o f each co-narrator or the essence o f the stories. A t the moment there are more than twenty stories in total - some are a paragraph long and others are two to three pages. In the discussion f o l l o w i n g this conversat ion, I explore ind iv idua l and theme related interpretations o f the stories and the possible meanings they offer. A s I wrote and edited this note I was struck by the real izat ion that a conversation itself - the questions and answers, the give and take - is the task o f hermeneutics. Genuine conversation is interpretation. W r i t i n g the conversat ion, choos ing the stories, ordering them and clustering them in just the way I have, I have created something that wasn ' t there before. Th rough this process my understanding o f educational leadership is shifting, b lurr ing and c o m i n g into focus again - i t ' s not a sharp demarcation and I do not 61 c l a i m to have a universal def ini t ion - but I have fu l ly entered into the exploratory and interrogative spirit o f the conversat ion. The note cont inues . . . In the conc lus ion I gather these stories into themes and draw out the impl ica t ions for teaching and learning about educational leadership. I am using a hermeneutic process o f creating meaning f rom the "texts" through "play" and "happenstance" - two terms used by Canadian scholar, D a v i d Jardine (1998) - not a lways as much fun as these terms may imp ly . Y e t this process does y i e l d surprising f indings as I have already highl ighted in Chapter One and T w o in the interpretation o f the stories, " H o w I Learned to Sew" , "F rozen in Bogo ta , " and "Vulne rab le Leadersh ip ." The stories are in the " f a m i l y " o f educational leadership but address educational leadership as a " l i v i n g subject" rather than a bunch o f abstract theories and concepts on leadership or traits about leaders found in the literature." (Personal communica t ion , 2001) M y screenwriter fr iend wrote me back: " S o that sounds fine, constructed conversations, l i ved experiences, interpretive inquir ies , et a l ia ; I look forward to seeing i t ." She really knows how to get to the point. M a n y possibi l i t ies for understanding are created wi th the te l l ing o f and l is tening to storied accounts o f practice. These possibi l i t ies entice, inspire, and provoke further intentional reflection and learning. The stories o f these co-narrators have not been told before; they lay imbedded in experience and as such, have not been exposed to daylight , their generative potential untapped. N o r had they been exposed to the others horizons o f understanding. In some cases there are mul t ip le story lines w o v e n together and some loose threads are p icked up f rom one speaker to another then raised later in the conversation, buil t upon, and expanded. 62 The RITES Framework F o l l o w i n g the constructed conversat ion I continued to interpret the narratives guided by L e g g o ' s heuristic f ramework referred to as R I T E S (Read, Interrogate, Themat ize , Expand , and Summar i ze ) . 8 1 f lesh out ind iv idua l stories by h ighl igh t ing what strike me as the salient points and the narrators' intended meaning and then consider the interpretation in l ight o f related literature, my o w n experience, or another story in the conversation. L e g g o offers a cautionary note regarding the diff icul t ies and l imitat ions o f s t ick ing too c lose ly to this f ramework or to any one strategy. I once proposed R I T E S as valuable at a conference on onco logy . It might be useful as a general f ramework, but, o f course, it on ly provides the bare skeleton o f an approach. . .perhaps we do not "do" hermeneutics; perhaps we write and read and listen and imagine hermeneut ical ly; perhaps hermeneutics is about attending to intricacies, gaps, spaces, relations, etc. So , y o u might f ind R I T E S useful here and there, but I do not recommend that y o u use it too zealously. A n d certainly be ready to vary your use o f any strategy. (Personal communica t ion , 2001) H e also added that he l ikes the constructed conversation because the reader becomes a participant in the conversation. I hope so. That is m y intention. B u t as I have al luded to in earlier chapters, there is often a very b ig gap between the intended impact or effect and what is actually experienced and what meaning is made f rom the experience. In the conversation to f o l l o w , Jennifer, one o f the co-narrators, speaks o f this d i l emma in terms o f her choreography production about the life o f E m i l y Carr . She has a particular intention, but whether the audience shares in that meaning or experience in the way she intended is a lways open for discussion. "It 's about hermeneutics," she said to me RITES: Read, Interrogate, Thematize, Expand, and Summarize. Read - read the whole narrative to gain a general sense of the story; Interrogate - the researcher asks basic questions of the narrative - who, why, where, when, how, so what? Thematize - the researcher re-reads with a focus on a theme and spells out the parts of the story that relate to the theme. Expand - the researcher expands on the theme by reflectively and imaginatively drawing connections and proposing possible meanings; and Summarize - the researcher summarizes the theme in a genera] statement or two in order to indicate clearly what is learned from the narrative. 63 at the beginning o f our interview. A promis ing start, I thought. An o t h e r o f m y advisors reminds me about the d i lemmas and challenges o f w o r k i n g hermeneutical ly and the need to be careful about " impos ing any r ig id structure on 'doing hermeneutics . ' " Navigating the Stories: Creating Structure and Coherence After constructing the conversation I returned to it, p lac ing tentative titles for each story that suggest the story 's theme. These titles, now in the borders o f the script, operate as a k ind o f navigational tool that give the conversation shape and structure - further acts o f interpretation. In some cases a w o r k i n g title was revised or changed entirely as my understanding o f the text changed after various readings or at the suggestion o f one o f the co-narrators. The titles, the camera angles and moves, the cutaways and flashbacks included in the first instalment o f the conversation are not intended to l i m i t the possible meaning o f each story, as such an act o f naming can often do, but to engage the visual and emotional senses o f the reader. I do this at the risk o f interrupting the f low o f the conversation, fragmenting it in a disruptive or distracting way rather than p rov id ing structure and boundaries around the possible meaning. In the midst o f several stories, I thought it important to maintain some structure and coherence. Such boundaries seem necessary to navigate the ind iv idua l interpretations. I turn now to these stories " i n conversat ion" to lead us through the messy educational leadership language landscape, where we might d w e l l in their possible meanings and interconnections. In do ing so I hope to avoid dry, dusty, or lifeless theoriz ing on educational leadership. 64 CHAPTER FOUR: STORIES IN CONVERSATION ON EDUCATIONAL LEADERSHIP I. Imprinted by Leaders FADE IN INT. MEETING ROOM - LATE AFTERNOON (SEVEN ADULTS SIT AROUND A TABLE IN A SPACIOUS MEETING ROOM, FIVE WOMEN (ANYA, PAMELA, JANE, JENNIFER, JOANNA AND TWO MEN, MURRAY AND MURDOCK. AGES RANGE FROM LATE 30S TO LATE 50S. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TABLE IS A CLEAR GLASS VASE WITH A BOUQUET OF ROSES, POPPIES, SWEET PEAS, AND HOLLYHOCKS. THROUGH THE WINDOW IS A PANORAMIC VIEW OF A DOWNTOWN CITYSCAPE. THE MEN AND WOMEN GLANCE AROUND THE GROUP EXPECTANTLY. ANYA TAPS THE TABLE LIGHTLY WITH HER PENCIL, JANE IS RUMMAGING THROUGH A LARGE BLACK PURSE, WHILE JOANNA SORTS PIECES. OF PAPER IN FRONT OF HER AND LOOKS UP AND AROUND THE GROUP, SMILING ENCOURAGINGLY.) [ i n t r o d u c t i o n ! JOANNA Thank you f o r j o i n i n g me i n t h i s i n q u i r y i n t o • e d u c a t i o n a l l e a d e r s h i p . T h i s c o n v e r s a t i o n o f f e r s a way t o bre a k from my i n d i v i d u a l r e a d i n g , r e f l e c t i o n , and c r e a t i o n o f n a r r a t i v e a c c o u n t s o f e d u c a t i o n a l l e a d e r s h i p t o l e a r n t h r o u g h c o n v e r s a t i o n w i t h you about your e x p e r i e n c e s and s t o r i e s . I have found t h a t w o r k i n g on my own s t o r i e s o f l e a d e r s h i p i n e d u c a t i o n has s t i m u l a t e d me t o r e t h i n k my t a k e n f o r g r a n t e d b e l i e f s (or p r e - u n d e r s t a n d i n g s ) about t h e n a t u r e o f l e a d e r s h i p and i t s r e l a t i o n s h i p t o e d u c a t i o n . I n p a r t i c u l a r , I am t a k e n w i t h t h e ways t h a t t e a c h i n g i s l e a d i n g and l e a d i n g i s t e a c h i n g and a l l the c o m p l e x i t i e s t h a t such a c o n c e p t u a l i z a t i o n e n t a i l s . I i n v i t e you t o share some o f your l e a d e r s h i p s t o r i e s - s t o r i e s from your 65 everyday e x p e r i e n c e t h a t are su r e t o b r e a t h e l i f e i n t o our u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f e d u c a t i o n a l l e a d e r s h i p . L e t ' s b e g i n w i t h a b r i e f i n t r o d u c t i o n from each o f you --t o s i t u a t e your e d u c a t i o n a l p r a c t i c e -- of what you do and what a t y p i c a l day i s l i k e f o r you. MURRAY Sure. I am the r e g i o n a l manager of a p i l o t program between the t o u r i s m i n d u s t r y and the government i t s e l f . I t ' s one of the f i r s t p r i v a t e and p u b l i c p a r t n e r s h i p s w i t h t he p r o v i n c i a l government. T h i s program t a k e s p e o p l e who a p p l y f o r income a s s i s t a n c e o r who are on income a s s i s t a n c e and p r o v i d e s t r a i n i n g f o r them or g e t s them j o b ready, or i f t h e y a re j o b ready, t h e n we get them a work placement. I t ' s a program t h a t ' s e x t r e m e l y s u c c e s s f u l from the s t a n d p o i n t t h a t we have found 6000 p e o p l e j o b s i n the l a s t y e a r and we w i l l save t h e t a x p a y e r s 55 m i l l i o n d o l l a r s i n t h e next two y e a r s . Ours i s a p r o v i n c i a l program t h a t i s co n n e c t e d w i t h a l l the d i f f e r e n t c o l l e g e s around the p r o v i n c e . My j o b as r e g i o n a l manager i s t o oversee the West Coast r e g i o n . So a t y p i c a l day f o r me can i n c l u d e a n y t h i n g from d e a l i n g w i t h t he M i n i s t r y o f S o c i a l and Economic Development t o make sure t h a t we are g e t t i n g enough r e f e r r a l s , t o t r a v e l l i n g t o one of our r e g i o n a l o f f i c e s t o meet w i t h s t a f f o r t o d e a l i n g w i t h t h e l o c a l m i n i s t r y p e r s o n n e l t o make sure t h e y f u l l y u n d e r s t a n d the program. JANE I've been a c a r e e r f a c i l i t a t o r on Vancouver I s l a n d f o r 8 y e a r s , w o r k i n g on s h o r t - t e r m government c o n t r a c t s . I began a new j o b i n Janu a r y and am i n charge of s e t t i n g up group programs f o r p e o p l e who are l o o k i n g f o r work and have an attachment t o Employment. I n s u r a n c e , f o r example, "The Job F i n d i n g C l u b " and "Career Focus Week." We h e l p c l i e n t s d e v e l o p i n t e r v i e w s k i l l s , p r e p a r e resumes and j o b hunt. A t y p i c a l day would i n v o l v e d r i v i n g 35 minutes t h r o u g h C a t h e d r a l Grove and p a s t Mt. A r r o w s m i t h p r o v i d i n g my s p i r i t u a l l i f t and g r o u n d i n g . I i n t e r a c t w i t h t h e s t a f f over a q u i c k c o f f e e , t h e n p r e p a r e f o r my group. We are t o g e t h e r from 9.30 - 3.00. The r e m a i n i n g time u n t i l 4.30 i s t a k e n w i t h appointments, c l i e n t f o l l o w up, a d m i n i s t r a t i v e work and program development. I t h e n have a 35 minute j o u r n e y home when I can d e b r i e f , compose and r e - e n e r g i z e . ANYA Okay. I get up at about 5:30, go f o r a r u n , have a p i e c e of t o a s t , and am i n t h e c a r at seven. From my house t o t h e c o l l e g e i s an hour's d r i v e . When I get t o t h e c o l l e g e I s o r t out. my m a i l and have a cup of t e a . I t e a c h two s t u d i o c l a s s e s a day, back t o back from n i n e t o t h r e e w i t h a break between each c l a s s and 15 minutes break d u r i n g . e a c h c l a s s . T h i s semester I'm t e a c h i n g a whole range, from " B e g i n n i n g Drawing" t o "Advanced Drawing" and " B e g i n n i n g P a i n t i n g " t o "Advanced P a i n t i n g " . My advanced p a i n t i n g u s u a l l y i n c l u d e s a number of s l i d e p r e s e n t a t i o n s , l o t s o f t a l k s and t h e n a l o t o f i n d i v i d u a l a t t e n t i o n . B a s i c a l l y my s t u d e n t s always want t o get on w i t h t h e i r work, so I t a l k w h i l e t h e y are s i t t i n g down w o r k i n g . W i t h a s l i d e p r e s e n t a t i o n you can see t h e i r eyes g l a z e over a f t e r about t e n minutes so I have t o move on.... Once t h e y ' r e engaged i n t h e i r work i t becomes a l o t more r e a l f o r them and t h e y don't have t o l i s t e n t o me t a l k about d o i n g a r t , t h e y ' r e d o i n g i t . I walk around the room, g i v i n g them i n d i v i d u a l i n s t r u c t i o n as t h e y go a l o n g . JOANNA I u n d e r s t a n d t h a t the c l a s s i s made up of a l l ages. ANYA That's r i g h t . A l l ages. Some s t u d e n t s are s t r a i g h t out of s c h o o l a t 18 y e a r s of age t o the o l d e s t p e r s o n I have i n my c l a s s i s about 57. So a range. And w i t h a l o t o f the younger s t u d e n t s i t ' s h a r d t o t e l l what age t h e y a r e . There are a c o u p l e of s t u d e n t s who have done t i m e . JOANNA Time i n p r i s o n ? ANYA Time i n p r i s o n , so t h e y are now g e t t i n g back on t h e i r f e e t . One o f the guys i s 30 year s o l d and he's been i n the j u s t i c e system s i n c e he was 13. Now he's j u s t t r y i n g t o s t a y out of t r o u b l e and work r e a l l y h a r d . (ANYA LOOKS OVER AND SMILES AT PAMELA, THE BLOND WOMAN WITH SHORT CROPPED HAIR.) PAMELA I see m y s e l f m a i n l y as a c o n t r a c t worker i n a d u l t e d u c a t i o n . For example, f o r the l a s t t e n y e a r s I have had the j o b of d o i n g p r o f e s s i o n a l development f o r the C o n t i n u i n g E d u c a t i o n Department at a community c o l l e g e , where I have been a nurse e d u c a t o r f o r many y e a r s . I a l s o t e a c h i n an i n s t r u c t i o n a l s k i l l s c e r t i f i c a t e program. My r e s p o n s i b i l i t y and my p r i v i l e g e i s t o l o o k f o r the new t h i n k i n g i n a d u l t e d u c a t i o n . My main i n t e r e s t i s t r a n s f o r m a t i v e l e a r n i n g . I am r e a l l y a t t r a c t e d t o t h i s approach t o l e a r n i n g because i t g e t s at the reason s why we t e a c h , what our b e l i e f s a r e , and what we are communicating t o our s t u d e n t s s u b l i m i n a l l y t h r o u g h our s t y l e and the s t o r i e s we choose t o t e l l , and the f o c u s t h a t we have i n our c l a s s e s . Q u i t e d i f f e r e n t from a t e c h n i q u e o r i e n t e d c o u r s e and I l o v e t h a t . JOANNA The c o l l e g e i n v i t e s you t o do t h a t ? PAMELA (SMILING, SHE LOOKS AT MURDOCK, SITTING ON HER LEFT. HE RETURNS THE LOOK WITH A THOUGHTFUL NOD AND RAISED EYEBROWS.) They i n v i t e me t o do t h a t ! JOANNA What about you Murdock? You have been i n v o l v e d i n u n i v e r s i t y based c o n t i n u i n g s t u d i e s f o r many y e a r s . MURDOCK My c u r r e n t a c t i v i t i e s have m o s t l y t o do w i t h p r o v i d i n g s e r v i c e s t o o u t s i d e o r g a n i z a t i o n s from the u n i v e r s i t y . We work w i t h companies and o t h e r k i n d s o f o r g a n i z a t i o n s l i k e n o n - p r o f i t s . We do two k i n d s o f t h i n g s w i t h them, one i s c o n s u l t i n g and p l a n n i n g - tho s e k i n d s o f a c t i v i t i e s - and the o t h e r i s p r o v i d i n g e d u c a t i o n a l programs t h a t a r e d e s i g n e d t o meet whatever o b j e c t i v e s are agreed upon. JOANNA So not a l l a r e degree c o m p l e t i o n programs f o r u n i v e r s i t y c r e d i t ? MURDOCK No. But some of them a r e . As you know I have been i n v o l v e d i n q u i t e a v a r i e t y of a c t i v i t i e s t h a t i n c l u d e programs l i k e the degree c o m p l e t i o n program but a l s o i n c l u d e A c t i n g Dean o f c o n t i n u i n g s t u d i e s , and a d i r e c t o r o f programs. I n th e s e r o l e s I have been i n v o l v e d i n o r g a n i z i n g v a r i o u s k i n d s of e d u c a t i o n a l u n d e r g r a d u a t e programs i n our downtown campus, l o o k i n g at the p o l i c i e s a t the u n i v e r s i t y i n terms of how th e y s e r v e t he p a r t - t i m e s t u d e n t s and d e c i d i n g whether o r not t h e y need t o be r e v i s e d i n l i g h t o f chang i n g c i r c u m s t a n c e s . JOANNA A wide range o f a c t i v i t i e s w i t h i n t h e u n i v e r s i t y a l l r e l a t e d i n some way t o the a d u l t l e a r n e r . J e n n i f e r , what about you? What are your days as the A r t i s t i c D i r e c t o r o f a modern dance company l i k e ? JENNIFER C u r r e n t l y I am w o r k i n g on the choreography f o r a dance performance, "The B r u t a l T e l l i n g , " a k i n d o f m u s i c a l t h e a t r e about the l i f e o f E m i l y C a r r . T h i s p i e c e i s r e a l l y about h e r m e n e u t i c s -- i t ' s about i n t e r p r e t a t i o n and how meaning i s made between t h e dance and the a u d i e n c e . We are c o n s t a n t l y t r y i n g t o f i g u r e out, "How w i l l t h i s s t o r y be communicated?" "How w i l l t h i s be u n d e r s t o o d ? " "The B r u t a l T e l l i n g " has a n a r r a t i v e l i n e but as dancers we are not accustomed t o d e a l i n g w i t h words, which we i n h e r e n t l y m i s t r u s t . For us what the body can say i s c l o s e r t o t h e t r u t h t h a n what words a c t u a l l y communicate. We are c o n s t a n t l y w r a n g l i n g w i t h the words. We don't.want t o be t i e d down by t h e words. We wonder i f movement can e l u c i d a t e a n o t h e r p o s s i b i l i t y of meaning. So the d e s i r e t o educate i s r e a l l y about t h e v a l u e o f how dance can e x p r e s s something at a v e r y deep l e v e l . (JENNIFER WAVES HER ELEGANT HANDS AS SHE SPEAKS. HER VOICE IS MELODIC.) JOANNA Dance e d u c a t i o n , v o c a t i o n a l e d u c a t i o n , a r t , t e a c h i n g s k i l l s , degree c o m p l e t i o n and p r o f e s s i o n a l development c o u r s e s , and t r a i n i n g f o r the h o s p i t a l i t y i n d u s t r y - such a wide range of s u b j e c t areas and so many p o s s i b i l i t i e s f o r the a d u l t s i n v o l v e d i n your e d u c a t i v e spaces. JENNIFER My o f f i c e i s a b i g empty room and when you go i n t o t h i s b i g empty room you know t h a t what happens t h e r e i s of your own c o n s t r u c t i o n . I t ' s a c o n s t a n t reminder o f meaning because whatever you make up t h a t day - t h e r e i s no paper b r i d g e i n dance, we don't w r i t e i t down - i t may not be t h e same the next day. The work d i s a p p e a r s i n t h e space. So t h e r e ' s a sense of dance b e i n g i n v i s i b l e , b e i n g v i s i b l e o n l y as we make i t and the n i n v i s i b l e t he moment a f t e r . I t ' s l e f t i n memory; i t ' s l e f t i n your v i s u a l memory; i t ' s l e f t i n our p h y s i c a l memory. I t ' s a l i t t l e l i k e t he B a l i n e s e who spend l o n g hours p r e p a r i n g d e l i c a t e , i n t r i c a t e d e c o r a t i o n s f o r the temple ceremony out o f f r e s h t h i n g s and a f t e r t h e y have t h e ceremony, a f t e r arduous p r e p a r a t i o n s , t h e n t h e y j u s t t a k e them down. CUT AWAY - (TREES OUTSIDE THE WINDOW SWAY IN THE WIND AND SHAKE LOOSE THE CHERRY BLOSSOMS WHICH SCATTER LIKE PINK SNOW FLAKES. THE GROUP LOOKS OUT THE WINDOW AS WE HEAR JENNIFER SPEAK.) JOANNA The f l o w e r s o f the temple ceremony - - b e a u t i f u l - - and f l e e t i n g . So much p r e p a r a t i o n and t h e n i t ' s o v e r , o n l y t he memory l i n g e r s . So much l i k e t he performance of dance, i t ' s meaning i s l e f t i n memory. I wonder how o t h e r s c o n c e p t u a l i z e t h e i r p r a c t i c e s ? What about you Jane, i s . t h e r e a metaphor t h a t c a p t u r e s what you do? JANE (VOICE-OVER) In the community where I work - not a c i t y l i k e t h i s one -- we are r e a l l y , r e a l l y s t r u g g l i n g w i t h the j o b s , and l a y o f f s . I t ' s a m i l l town, a l o g g i n g town, and i t was a f i s h i n g town. Of co u r s e a l o t of th o s e t h i n g s a r e now d i s a p p e a r i n g y e t some pe o p l e s t i l l have the mindscape t h a t i f t h e y w a i t l o n g enough, i t ' l l come back. But i t ' s not g o i n g t o . People come i n here and t h e i r s e l f - e s t e e m i s low, o b v i o u s l y t h e y are j o b h u n t i n g and i t ' s a h o r r i b l e r o l l e r c o a s t e r . By g i v i n g them a l i t t l e h e l p i n g hand, even j u s t h e l p i n g them w i t h t h e i r resume, you can see the growth i n t h e i r own independence. They become w i l l i n g t o t a k e the • r i s k a g a i n and you can see them s t a r t t o b e l i e v e i n themselves a g a i n . (AS JANE SPEAKS SHE SITS NOTICIBLY TALLER IN HER CHAIR. OUTSIDE THE WINDOW TWO MEN ON A CONSTRUCTION SITE OPERATE A CRANE. ONE SITS IN THE CAB HIGH ABOVE, THE OTHER, ON THE GROUND, OPERATES THE RIGG. THE CRANE SLOWLY RAISES THE CAB AND IT SWINGS OUT OF VIEW. A YOUNG MAN WALKS SLOWLY ACROSS THE PATH BESIDE THE SITE.) JANE (ON CAMERA) These days we have t o be e x t r e m e l y a c c o u n t a b l e about what we are d o i n g . We have t o get a l o t of feedback and e v a l u a t i o n from the c l i e n t s . A l l the t i m e . Everybody who. comes t h r o u g h t h e door has t o f i l l out an e v a l u a t i o n s h e e t . But more i m p o r t a n t , you get t h e feedback by s e e i n g t h e s e same p e o p l e b e i n g p r e p a r e d t o put t h e m s e l v e s on the l i n e ; by s e e i n g them w a l k i n g t a l l . Somebody, who d i d n ' t want t o g i v e out resumes, s u d d e n l y I ' l l n o t i c e t h a t he i s w i l l i n g t o get out t h e r e and do t h a t . I t h i n k t h a t happens by d o i n g the group work. Sometimes i t i s v e r y l o n e l y f o r p e o p l e and h a v i n g a c o n n e c t i o n t o a group g i v e s them s t r e n g t h i n numbers. There's a g r e a t g a i n i n coming back everyday t o .check i n w i t h p e o p l e and share w i t h them t h a t l i t t l e b i t of s u c c e s s - t h a t you've g i v e n out a resume or t h a t you've c o n t a c t e d someone f o r a r e f e r e n c e . To be a b l e t o share t h i s s u c c e s s or s t r u g g l e i s a r e a l l y p o s i t i v e t h i n g . JOANNA •Walking t a l l . . . A v i v i d metaphor f o r what you do and the s t a n d a r d s you s e t f o r the work. PAMELA These days I t e l l p e o p l e t h a t my b i g g e s t g o a l i n t e a c h i n g , i n b e i n g an a d u l t e d u c a t o r of a d u l t e d u c a t o r s , i s t o e f f e c t s o c i e t y i n p o s i t i v e ways - t o d e v e l o p l i f e l o n g l e a r n e r s , t o d e v e l o p p e o p l e who are i n t e r e s t e d i n o t h e r ways of t h i n k i n g and, you know, we're b u i l d i n g w o r l d peace, one l i t t l e c l a s s r o o m a t a time ( L a u g h t e r ) . JOANNA What happens when you t e l l p e o p l e t h a t ? PAMELA Oh, some respond t o t h a t and f o r some i t ' s j u s t ( g e s t u r e s hand over head) what? But i t r e a l l y f e e l s good b e i n g t h i s open about my i n t e n t i o n s . I t ' s not about t e c h n i q u e s and everybody d o i n g t h e same t h i n g , i t s about b e i n g a u t h e n t i c , h a v i n g t e a c h i n g and l e a r n i n g p r i n c i p l e s , but d o i n g i t i n your own unique way and knowing t h a t t h a t ' s the b e s t way. JOANNA I u n d e r s t a n d the n o t i o n of b e i n g a u t h e n t i c t o mean l i t e r a l l y , t o be your own a u t h o r , not a c t i n g on the u n i n t e r r o g a t e d d i r e c t i o n of someone i n a f o r m a l p o s i t i o n of a u t h o r i t y . I have always admired you as someone who t r i e s new t h i n g s , always t e s t s the w a t e r s , so i t s u r p r i s e s me t o hear you say t h a t o n l y r e c e n t l y , " t h e s e days" you have become more e x p l i c i t about your i n t e n t i o n s . The G i f t (SMILING WIDELY, PAMELA REACHES INTO HER BRIEFCASE AND PULLS OUT A BOOK.) PAMELA Not t h a t l o n g ago, at the annual m e e t i n g of our i n s t r u c t i o n a l development program t h a t I have been t e a c h i n g i n f o r more th a n t e n y e a r s , the program d i r e c t o r gave everyone a copy of t h i s -- P a r k e r Palmer's book The Courage to Teach. JOANNA That's a w o n d e r f u l book. PAMELA To get t h a t book was a b i g shot i n the arm f o r me. H i s g i v i n g us the book communicates t o me: "You do what you b e l i e v e . Be y o u r s e l f out t h e r e because b e i n g y o u r s e l f i s t h e b i g g e s t g i f t you can g i v e your s t u d e n t s . To show courage by b e i n g t r u e t o y o u r s e l f , and d e m o n s t r a t i n g i n t e g r i t y and c o n s i s t e n c y w i t h what you r e a l l y b e l i e v e . " That j u s t r e a l l y merges what I do o u t s i d e work and what I do i n s i d e work. And I say, "Thank God we can go i n t h i s d i r e c t i o n . " For me, at work I have k i n d o f been w i t h h o l d i n g some of my deepest b e l i e f s and what I t h i n k o f as r e a l l y i m p o r t a n t , t h i n g s about a f f e c t i n g s o c i e t y i n a p o s i t i v e way. My p a i d c o n t r a c t work i n a d u l t e d u c a t i o n has always f e l t l i k e i t la g g e d b e h i n d my v o l u n t e e r work, where I c o u l d d i r e c t l y work on peace and e n v i r o n m e n t a l i s s u e s and a c t i v i s m ; engaging p e o p l e i n w r i t i n g l e t t e r s about i m p o r t a n t i s s u e s , and s i t t i n g i n d i a l o g u e and l e a r n i n g t o communicate i n a d i f f e r e n t way. That happened o u t s i d e work and now i t f e e l s j u s t r e a l l y g r e a t t o be g i v e n P a r k e r Palmer's book. I t g i v e s me the freedom t o b r i n g what I r e a l l y c a r e about i n t o work, t o t a l k about c r i t i c a l p h i l o s o p h i c a l i s s u e s w i t h p e o p l e when I t e a c h them t o t e a c h . JOANNA Not t o s i m p l y d e l i v e r c o n t e n t t o p e o p l e , i n o r d e r t o make them more knowledgeable, but t o r a i s e t h e i r c o n s c i o u s n e s s . PAMELA I t a l k about the power we have as e d u c a t o r s t o c r e a t e c u l t u r e s o f r e s p e c t and c o n n e c t i o n - the m e t a - c u r r i c u l u m , such as communication, teamwork, r e s p e c t i n g d i v e r s e p e r s p e c t i v e s arid o p i n i o n s . Those are e v e r y b i t as i m p o r t a n t as what ever the c o n t e n t m a t t e r i s , i n my o p i n i o n . So because I am i n a p o s i t i o n o f t e a c h i n g t e a c h e r s , not t e a c h i n g a s u b j e c t m a t t e r b e s i d e s good t e a c h i n g , I have the p r i v i l e g e t o pay a l o t o f a t t e n t i o n t o what o v e r l a y s a l l o f t e a c h i n g . There's the c o n t e n t , and t h e n t h e r e ' s t h e p r o c e s s t h a t we use t o t e a c h . The p r o c e s s speaks as much or more about what m a t t e r s . (PAN RIGHT AND ZOOM IN ON THE WALL BEYOND PAMELA TO A HAIDA MASK THAT IS HANGING.) JOANNA The book was a m e a n i n g f u l g e s t u r e , one t h a t seems t o have encouraged you t o t a k e o f f the p r o f e s s i o n a l mask - - t o be y o u r s e l f . (ZOOM IN ON VASE - - AS A ROSE PETAL DROPS TO THE TABLE. THE CAMERA P.O.V. VASE, PANS AROUND THE TABLE AS ALL EYES FIX ON THE FALLEN PETAL. THE CAMERA SWIRLS AND LANDS ON PAMELA AS SHE SPEAKS HER FINAL WORDS.) PAMELA B e f o r e t h a t i t f e l t a l i t t l e l i k e I was a h e r e t i c o r something. Palmer's work and b e i n g g i v e n h i s book, r e p r e s e n t s t o me and i t a f f i r m s t o me t h e t r a n s f o r m a t i o n a l n a t u r e o f e d u c a t i o n ; t r a n s f o r m a t i o n as a k i n d o f g r a d u a l u n f o l d i n g - not as a d r a m a t i c epiphany — but r e a l l y a g r a d u a l t r a n s f o r m a t i o n . I j u s t n o t i c e one more l i t t l e p e t a l open. And as i n d i v i d u a l s blossom, t h e y become i n c r e a s i n g l y c a p a b l e o f making g r e a t e r c o n t r i b u t i o n s t o s o c i e t y . JOANNA (VOICE OVER) The opening f l o w e r , one p e t a l a t a t i m e . The open f a c e , w i t h o u t 'the mask. A q u i e t opening o f the mind, and w i t h i t the p o s s i b i l i t y of change. That moment of b e i n g g i v e n a book by a r e s p e c t e d p e r s o n i n a f o r m a l l e a d e r s h i p p o s i t i o n seems t o embody what you h o l d t o be most i m p o r t a n t i n e d u c a t i o n on so many l e v e l s . PAMELA ( Q u i e t l y , her v o i c e f u l l of emotion) Yes, t h a t moment was i m p o r t a n t f o r me. JOANNA Is t h e r e a moment of e d u c a t i o n a l l e a d e r s h i p t h a t s t a n d s out f o r you? PAMELA I f you ask me t o h i g h l i g h t a p a r t i c u l a r moment of l e a d e r s h i p i n my own p r a c t i c e i t ' s d i f f i c u l t because I h o n e s t l y see m y s e l f as a l e a d e r i n t h a t r o l e a l l t h e t i m e . I t ' s a funny paradox because my b i g g e s t i n t e n t when I t e a c h i n s t r u c t i o n a l s k i l l s i s t o make us a community of l e a r n e r s on an e q u a l f o o t i n g . However, I am aware t h a t I am v e r y much m o d e l i n g a r e s p e c t f u l manner t h a t p e o p l e respond t o w i t h a p p r e c i a t i o n and l o t s o f p e o p l e have s a i d t o me, " I want t o do i t l i k e you." So I am aware of the power of mo d e l i n g , not i n a k i n d o f s t a n d i n g up and t a k i n g o v e r , but i n an attempt r e a l l y t o c r e a t e e q u a l i t y I have a s t r o n g l e a d e r s h i p r o l e . I t i s an i n t e r e s t i n g k i n d o f paradox. JOANNA You are q u i t e aware of your p o s i t i o n and r e s p o n s i b i l i t y , and the power t h a t i t h o l d s . PAMELA (VOICE OVER) FLASH BACK - THE KINDERGARTEN PLAY (FIVE YEAR OLD PAMELA HOLDS HANDS WITH TWO OF HER CLASSMATES AND NODS TO THE GROUP OF CHILDREN ON STAGE TO BOW TO THE APPLAUDING PARENTS. THEY EXIT IN AN ORDERLY MANNER, PAMELA LEADING THE WAY.) Yes, I t h i n k I have been aware o f t h a t f o r a l o n g time a c t u a l l y . I t h i n k p a r t of i t i s my p e r s o n a l i t y . Having - had the c h i l d h o o d and f a m i l y s i t u a t i o n t h a t I d i d , I d e v e l o p e d a f a i r amount of s e l f - e s t e e m and an a b i l i t y t o a r t i c u l a t e m y s e l f . People would ask me t o speak f o r them and t a k e a l e a d e r s h i p r o l e . And you know, the more you do i t , the more you get c o m f o r t a b l e , so i t r e a l l y has been q u i t e n a t u r a l . I have p i c t u r e s o f me l e a d i n g the k i n d e r g a r t e n c l a s s a c r o s s the s t a g e . BACK TO PRESENT DAY JOANNA From an e a r l y age t h a t was p a r t o f your i d e n t i t y - -PAMELA Ah, yes. And g i v i n g t he speech a t the h i g h s c h o o l g r a d and b e i n g t h e c l a s s p r e s i d e n t , I mean t h i s i s a n c i e n t h i s t o r y . JOANNA Yet i n your own a d u l t e d u c a t i o n p r a c t i c e you have s t a y e d away from t h e t r a d i t i o n a l l e a d e r s h i p p o s i t i o n s , t h e r o l e o f d i r e c t o r , o r dean or program head w i t h i n an o r g a n i z a t i o n . You haven't been drawn t o a more f o r m a l p o s i t i o n o f l e a d e r s h i p ? PAMELA (ZOOM OUT -- TWO OLDER MEN IN NAVY BUSINESS SUITS WALK ON THE PATH OUTSIDE'. ONE APPEARS ANGRY AND GESTULATES WITH A FIST. THE OTHER LISTENS, HIS HEAD AND BODY COWERS.) Those p o s i t i o n s seem t o me t o o c o n s t r a i n e d by t r a d i t i o n and i t i s r e a l l y i m p o r t a n t t o me not t o do what somebody e l s e t h i n k s I have t o do. I guess I make ass u m p t i o n s , but I t h i n k t h a t t h o s e t r a d i t i o n a l l e a d e r s h i p r o l e s a r e t o o s c r i p t e d . I'm not sure and I may be wrong, you know, but I've always thought you'd have t o s a c r i f i c e t o o much t o do t h a t . JOANNA What about you, Murdock? What was your own f o r m a t i o n as an e d u c a t o r l i k e ? I s t h e r e a p a r t i c u l a r p e r s o n t h a t you have l o o k e d t o as a mentor or t e a c h e r t h a t has had an impact on you? |A F a m i l y o f E d u c a t o r s and a Mentoq FLASHBACK - INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHTTIME YOUNG MURDOCK SITS COZILY AND CONTENTEDLY ON A LARGE, OVERSTUFFED SOFA, HIS LEGS DANGLE, AS HE LOOKS UP AND BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN THE TWO ADULTS SITTING ON EITHER SIDE OF HIM WHO ARE IMMERSED IN AN ANIMATED CONVERSATION OVER HIS HEAD . EXT. LAKESIDE - DAYTIME YOUNG MURDOCK RUNS TO THE BANK OF A LAKE EXCITEDLY, HOLDING A LONG STICK, HE' DROPS TO HIS KNEES AND PEERS INTO THE REEDS, PROBING GENTLY WITH THE STICK. INT. UNIVERSITY LECTURE HALL THE MATURE MURDOCK GATHERS HIS LECTURE NOTES FROM THE PODIUM. A DISTINGUISHED MAN APPROACHES AND GREETS HIM WITH AN AFFECTIONATE PAT ON THE SHOULDER AND A SMILE. MURDOCK (VOICE OVER) I c a n ' t t h i n k o f t h a t q u e s t i o n w i t h o u t t h i n k i n g about my f a m i l y . As you know, my f a t h e r and mother are b o t h i n v o l v e d i n e d u c a t i o n a l a c t i v i t i e s - t h e y have been a l l t h e i r l i v e s b a s i c a l l y . Growing up, I was surrounded by p e o p l e i n my home who were the acknowledged l e a d e r s i n a d u l t e d u c a t i o n i n Canada. There were p e o p l e around a l l the time and t h e y were always t a l k i n g about e d u c a t i o n a l i s s u e s . But i n terms of my own p r a c t i c e i n e d u c a t i o n , w e l l the former P r e s i d e n t of the U n i v e r s i t y i s one p e r s o n who I have r e p o r t e d t o f o r some time and who I admire and who i s c l e a r l y an e d u c a t i o n a l l e a d e r . He has s e t the tone f o r my e d u c a t i o n a l p r a c t i c e p a r t i c u l a r l y i n the areas t h a t I have been i n v o l v e d i n - w i t h p a r t time a d u l t l e a r n e r s at the u n i v e r s i t y . BACK TO PRESENT DAY JOANNA Can you t h i n k o f a n y t h i n g i n p a r t i c u l a r t h a t he s a i d t o you t h a t r e a l l y had an impact or made a d i f f e r e n c e i n your own t h i n k i n g ? MURDOCK W e l l , he d i d s t r e s s t o me on v a r i o u s o c c a s i o n s t h a t i t was i m p o r t a n t t h a t one not shy away from c o n f l i c t i n i n s t i t u t i o n s and I t h i n k t h a t ' s q u i t e i m p o r t a n t . I n s t i t u t i o n s get s e t t l e d and c a l c i f i e d and t h e y need p e o p l e t o keep p o k i n g a t them i f t h e r e i s g o i n g t o be any l i f e t o them. So t h a t was one t h i n g he s a i d t h a t s t u c k w i t h me t h a t I t h i n k i s i m p o r t a n t . He a l s o d e v e l o p e d a k i n d of ethos a t the u n i v e r s i t y . A l o t of the work a t the u n i v e r s i t y i n v o l v e s s c r a m b l i n g f o r money t o be a b l e t o do t h i n g s t h a t you want t o do - whether i t ' s commercial or whether i t ' s community p r o j e c t s . He encouraged a v e r y h e a l t h y view about t h a t . He'd say, t h e r e were always many t h i n g s t h a t were w o r t h w h i l e d o i n g , whether or not t h e y c o u l d - p a y f o r t h e m s e l v e s . On t h e o t h e r hand t h e r e was no excuse f o r b e i n g s l o p p y about the way money was h a n d l e d . So i f you c o u l d f i g u r e out a way t o get the money t o do something d i f f e r e n t , t h a t was g r e a t . But j u s t because a p r o j e c t was w o r t h w h i l e you s t i l l had t o go i n t o i t w i t h a c a r e f u l l y b u i l t budget and i n a b u s i n e s s - l i k e way. And t h i s was j u s t as i m p o r t a n t f o r a community-based a c t i v i t y as i t was f o r a commercial a c t i v i t y . JOANNA Don't shy away from c o n f l i c t - a l i b e r a t i n g message t o have from the h i g h e s t a u t h o r i t y i n the i n s t i t u t i o n - and c a r r y out your work w i t h p r o f e s s i o n a l i s m and a t t e n t i o n t o d e t a i l . Not one or the o t h e r . INT. CLASSROOM - DAYTIME (Three young teens d r e s s e d i n s c h o o l u n i f o r m s g a t h e r around a desk. The g i r l i n the m i d d l e has a g l o s s y a r t book open. The o t h e r s peer at the p i c t u r e s of Rubenesque f i g u r e s . They t i t t e r s l i g h t l y a t the s i g h t of the exposed female forms. A k i n d f a c e d t e a c h e r w i t h c u r l y r e d h a i r n o t i c e s t h e i r l a u g h t e r and she walks over t o the group and g e s t u r e s toward a d e t a i l i n the p i c t u r e . The g i r l s t u r n t o her, t h e i r f a c e s f u l l o f wonder and a f f e c t i o n . ) The Exuberant Mrs. G i l l e n ANYA (VOICE OVER) For me, a r a r e p e r s o n was Mrs. G i l l e n . She was t h i s w o n d e r f u l , w i l d h a i r e d woman; the a r t t e a c h e r I had i n h i g h s c h o o l and she was the f i r s t p e r s o n t h a t t o l d us back i n 1974 t h a t a e r o s o l s were damaging what was c a l l e d " t he ozone l a y e r . " We d i d n ' t know what she was t a l k i n g about at the t i m e . I t was a C a t h o l i c nun's s c h o o l and t h e r e i n t h e m i d s t was Mrs. G i l l e n - so flamboyant, w i t h a l a r g e f a m i l y h e r s e l f . She was t e r r i b l y e n t h u s i a s t i c about her s u b j e c t and b a s i c a l l y u n t i l t h e n I never saw a nude p i c t u r e i n my l i f e . Never. So b a s i c a l l y the n e a r e s t you got t o n u d i t y was C h r i s t on t h e c r o s s , you know? But she would jump on you- i f she caught you s n i c k e r i n g a t a p a i n t i n g . Back t o p r e s e n t day. JOANNA She wanted you t o have the r i g h t s p i r i t ? ANYA A b s o l u t e l y . She was marvelous, b r i l l i a n t , and so e n c o u r a g i n g . She r e a l l y was. When I t h i n k o f t h e o t h e r t e a c h e r s t h a t I c o u l d have had. L i k e S i s t e r B e r n a d e t t e , sweet J e s u s , you'd never... But Mrs. G i l l e n was l i k e t h i s w i l d Bohemian i n the m i d d l e o f a l l t h e s e nuns and she was i n t o t he c h a r i s m a t i c movement and she was i n t o the environment, and a l l o f t h i s was y e a r s b e f o r e anybody was ever t a l k i n g about t h e s e t h i n g s . She was t h i s b r o a d minded, w i l d h a i r e d , c l a s s i c e x t r o v e r t e d a r t t e a c h e r . JOANNA When you t h i n k o f an i n t e r a c t i o n w i t h her, how d i d she make you f e e l ? ANYA Ma r v e l o u s . She made me f e e l marvelous and r e a l l y I j u s t wanted t o be l i k e h e r . She was so p o s i t i v e and so e x p a n s i v e . The o t h e r t e a c h e r s were e n c o u r a g i n g as w e l l , you know. I mean, I can t h i n k of the E n g l i s h t e a c h e r , but f o r me a r t was e x t r e m e l y r o m a n t i c and an e x t r e m e l y d e s i r a b l e p r o f e s s i o n t o be i n . And you know I was good a t i t . Mrs. G i l l e n h e l p e d me put my p o r t f o l i o t o g e t h e r . JOANNA That was the b e g i n n i n g of your a r t c a r e e r ? ANYA That was the beginning... Yes. JOANNA The impact was... ANYA Huge. She had a huge impact - - and t h e n when I went t o B e l f a s t t o do my B a c h e l o r ' s - - and t h e r e was a n o t h e r t e a c h e r , David, who was so p o s i t i v e , so p o s i t i v e . They b o t h had a huge i n f l u e n c e , t h e y d i d . They were i n t e r e s t e d i n us, i n what happened t o the s t u d e n t s and t h e y t a u g h t us the craft... the making and the d o i n g of a r t . You see one of my b i g g e s t q u i p s w i t h some i n s t r u c t o r s i s t h a t t h e y ' r e more i n t o the c o n c e p t s and the c r i t i c a l t h i n k i n g p a r t of i t , and the work t h a t i s produced i s , t o my mind, of a v e r y low s t a n d a r d . The t e c h n i c a l c r a f t s k i l l s are l o s t . P a i n t i n g i s not t a u g h t the way i t was t a u g h t t o me. You get t h o s e l a b e l s i n academia, t h a t " P a i n t i n g i s dead," " T h i s i s dead," "That i s dead," " I t ' s a l o s t a r t . " And so p a i n t i n g and drawing are not t a u g h t anymore. And I know t h a t t h a t ' s one of my s t r e n g t h s ; I have a l o t of s k i l l s t h a t were t a u g h t t o me. JOANNA Are t h e r e o t h e r s t o r i e s about l e a d e r s o r t e a c h e r s t h a t l e f t t h e i r i m p r i n t ? |What L e a d e r s h i p I s Not[ JANE For me, I have d i f f i c u l t y t h i n k i n g o f l e a d e r s who have had a p o s i t i v e i n f l u e n c e . What comes t o mind i s the r e v e r s e . Can I f l i p t h a t q u e s t i o n and t a l k about a c o u p l e o f p e o p l e who have t a u g h t me how not t o be a l e a d e r ? JOANNA Of c o u r s e . JANE T h i s p e r s o n I'm t h i n k i n g of was the head of our v o c a t i o n a l c o u n s e l l i n g and placement o r g a n i z a t i o n . When the o r g a n i z a t i o n s t a r t e d i t was v e r y s m a l l . She was v e r y c o m f o r t a b l e w i t h t h a t and when i t grew l a r g e r and l a r g e r and l a r g e r , I t h i n k i t j u s t became t o o much and she t r i e d t o c o n t r o l a l l a r e a s , t o o much and she wasn't a b l e t o d e l e g a t e . She had t o keep c o n t r o l . I t was a c o n t r o l i s s u e and e v e n t u a l l y i t j u s t imploded on he r . She had a l o t of v e r y c a p a b l e p e o p l e underneath her and she t r i e d t o break i t down i n t o v a r i o u s a r e a s , teams and t h a t k i n d of t h i n g , but u n f o r t u n a t e l y she wasn't a b l e t o have the f a i t h i n the teams t o l e t them e v o l v e . So what happened was t h a t p e o p l e became f r u s t r a t e d . We a l l j u s t s a i d , "What i s the p o i n t ? No m a t t e r what we do, she's s t i l l g o i n g t o have t h e u l t i m a t e word." She wasn't r e a l l y l i s t e n i n g anyway... JOANNA So you f e l t a k i n d o f f a l s e s i n c e r i t y i n h er, s a y i n g one t h i n g w h i l e h o l d i n g on t i g h t l y t o her power? JANE Very much so. I t was v e r y d i f f i c u l t . On the f l i p s i d e of t h a t t h e r e was a n o t h e r p e r s o n where I worked on a c o n t r a c t and she was t o t a l l y d i f f e r e n t . She was much more p e o p l e -f o c u s e d , c l i e n t - f o c u s e d . There the onus was on us f o r r e s p o n s i b i l i t y , almost the o p p o s i t e way. Sometimes i t was almost t o o much; sometimes you wished t h e r e were a l i t t l e b i t o f t i g h t e n i n g i n r e s p o n s i b i l i t y . JOANNA T i g h t e n i n g ? JANE T i g h t e n i n g . When s t a f f p e o p l e weren't d o i n g what t h e y were supposed t o be d o i n g , t h a t t h e r e was a s o r t of l i m i t t o what the s t a f f c o u l d get away w i t h . T h i s d i r e c t o r would s t r e t c h and s t r e t c h and g i v e p e o p l e chances and more chances when i t would have been b e t t e r t o have a l i m i t . But the l i n e kept moving and moving and moving and t h e r e was a c e r t a i n f r u s t r a t i o n t h a t one or two p e o p l e would bend the r u l e s . People got l a z y and pushed t h i n g s , d i d not get t h e i r work done on t i m e o r t h e y came i n l a t e . JOANNA So a l a c k o f s t a n d a r d s and s t r u c t u r e ? A c c o u n t a b i l i t y ? JANE Yes t h a t ' s r i g h t . * * * pi t ' s About C r e a t i n g Something Newj JOANNA I n t e r e s t i n g s t o r i e s about s p e c i f i c p e o p l e i n f o r m a l l e a d e r s h i p r o l e s who o b v i o u s l y d i d not meet your s t a n d a r d s f o r good l e a d e r s h i p . What about a c t s of l e a d e r s h i p t h a t are l e s s t o do w i t h f o r m a l r o l e s but l e a d e r s h i p t h a t i s embedded and i n t e r t w i n e d w i t h a c t s , o f t e a c h i n g o r p l a n n i n g - t h e k i n d s o f t h i n g s t h a t go i n t o c r e a t i n g and s u s t a i n i n g e d u c a t i o n a l environments and programs? MURDOCK W e l l i n t h a t sense e d u c a t i o n a l l e a d e r s h i p i s redundant. JOANNA Redundant? MURDOCK I t seems t o me t h a t l e a d e r s h i p i s about c r e a t i n g something new. JOANNA I have i n mind the n o t i o n t h a t e d u c a t i o n a l l e a d e r s h i p i s t a n g l e d up w i t h our work as e d u c a t o r s , i n v o l v e s a c t i o n s o f f r a m i n g problems and i n i t i a t i n g and s u s t a i n i n g c o n v e r s a t i o n s about the v a l u e and purpose o f what we do as e d u c a t o r s o f a d u l t s . And y e t so much of t h i s a c t i o n i s embedded i n our everyday p r a c t i c e - i n d i s c e r n i b l e and u n d i s c u s s a b l e . P a r k e r Palmer s u g g e s t s t h a t e d u c a t i o n a l l e a d e r s h i p i s t h e i n t e n t i o n a l a c t of c r e a t i n g t h e c o n d i t i o n s f o r d i a l o g u e about the "what," the "how," t h e "why," and the "who" i n e d u c a t i o n . I t seems t o me t h a t t h e r e a r e some p a r t i c u l a r b e n e f i t s t o l o c a t i n g t h e s e i n s t a n c e s o f e d u c a t i o n a l l e a d e r s h i p so t h a t we can l e a r n from them and become, i f n e c e s s a r y , more i n t e n t i o n a l i n our a c t i o n s and more a c c o u n t a b l e . T h i s i s , f o r me, a new way t o t h i n k about my p r a c t i c e and one t h a t has some b e n e f i t - t o t h i n k about what we do i n terms of l e a d e r s h i p and not j u s t good pedagogy. The two are i n t e r t w i n e d so c l o s e l y . MURDOCK I t h i n k t h e r e i s something m e a n i n g f u l i n t h i n k i n g about e d u c a t i o n a l l e a d e r s h i p t h a t goes beyond the normal t e a c h i n g p r a c t i c e . Are you l o o k i n g f o r something l i k e that...where somebody does something new or something t h a t would s e t an example f o r o t h e r t e a c h e r s t o f o l l o w ? JOANNA Yes, v e r y much so. I am i n t e r e s t e d i n e x p l o r i n g everyday i n s t a n c e s - - a c o n v e r s a t i o n , a g e s t u r e , a moment t h a t happens and goes u n n o t i c e d and t h e r e f o r e i s l o s t t o f u r t h e r d i s c u s s i o n and u n d e r s t a n d i n g . MURDOCK W e l l , as I s a i d , f o r me l e a d e r s h i p i s concerned w i t h d e v e l o p i n g something new -- I don't mean j u s t a new i t e r a t i o n o f some k i n d o f an e x i s t i n g program -- but a new k i n d o f program t h a t does something t h a t p r e v i o u s programs hadn't done. So d e v e l o p i n g "The Degree C o m p l e t i o n Program" was p r o b a b l y t h e b e s t example of a s u c c e s s . The elements t h a t go i n t o making t h a t a s u c c e s s I would say are h a v i n g a s t r o n g team i n v o l v e d , i n c l u d i n g academics and programmers and s t a f f s u p p o r t and e x t e r n a l p a r t n e r s who were committed t o b r i n g i n g t h i s t h i n g o f f and who c a r e d about the empl o y e e s / s t u d e n t s i n the program. The r e s u l t s were i n s p i r i n g because you had t h e s e a d u l t s t u d e n t s i n the program, many of them who had some l o n g s t a n d i n g f e e l i n g o f inadequacy o r g r i e v a n c e t h a t t h e y hadn't been a b l e t o do t h e i r e d u c a t i o n a t a younger age and t h e y had been h e l d back i n t h e i r c a r e e r s o r l o o k e d down upon or t h e y f e l t w i t h i n t h emselves i n a d e q u a t e i n c o n v e r s a t i o n s w i t h o t h e r p e o p l e who d i d have degrees, and t h e y b u i l t up " d e g r e e s " as a k i n d o f mystery, or r a t h e r something t h a t had a l o t of s t a t u s . And t h i s was f i n a l l y an o p p o r t u n i t y f o r them t o get t o l e a r n what i t was t h e y d i d n ' t know t h a t had been h o l d i n g them back or t o get t h a t c r e d e n t i a l . And you c o u l d see them i n the co u r s e o f the t h r e e y e a r s i n the program, you c o u l d see them go t h r o u g h r e a l s t a g e s where t h e y would say, "You know when I came i n t o t h e program I saw e v e r y t h i n g i n b l a c k and w h i t e . Now I see t h a t i t ' s a b i t more complex t h a n t h a t , t h e r e a r e shades of g r a y . " " I thought t h a t knowledge was much more c e r t a i n and d e f i n i t e and t h a t p e o p l e knew a bunch of s t u f f o r had a bunch of answers t h a t I don't have and now I r e a l i z e t h a t t h a t ' s not the case. Many of them when t h e y a c t t h a t way were r e a l l y j u s t t a l k i n g t h r o u g h t h e i r h a t s or t h e y may a c t u a l l y be over s i m p l i f y i n g g r e a t l y . " And so t o u n d e r s t a n d t h a t and you c o u l d see t h e i r c o n f i d e n c e grow and blossom, arid t h e y were t h r i l l e d and t h e i r k i d s were t h r i l l e d when t h e y g r a d u a t e d -- almost a l l d i d g r a d u a t e . In t h e f i r s t group o f 33 t h a t began, 32 gr a d u a t e d , 31 were on t i m e . So i t was a v e r y s u c c e s s f u l program from t h a t p o i n t o f view. And i t d i d c r e a t e o p p o r t u n i t i e s f o r them, where p e o p l e came out of the program and competed s u c c e s s f u l l y f o r p o s i t i o n s and got new j o b s t h a t t h e y wouldn't have g o t t e n b e f o r e . JOANNA Making huge diffe r e n c e s . . . MURDOCK ...really s u b s t a n t i a l d i f f e r e n c e i n p e o p l e ' s l i v e s . * * * |l Don't See M y s e l f as a Leaderj JOANNA What about moments of l e a d e r s h i p w i t h i n your own p r a c t i c e i n v o c a t i o n a l e d u c a t i o n Jane? JANE T h i s i s new t o me. I don't r e a l l y t h i n k about my own l e a d e r s h i p o r see m y s e l f as a l e a d e r , I see m y s e l f more as a f a c i l i t a t o r . I n o t h e r words, I am the m i d d l e p e r s o n t o get t h i s p e r s o n from A t o B and so I have never r e a l l y t hought o f m y s e l f a s ' b e i n g i n a l e a d e r s h i p p o s i t i o n . I t ' s not where I see m y s e l f . I t ' s a new con c e p t . I am c l i e n t f o c u s e d and c l i e n t based. In my y e a r s o f e x p e r i e n c e I have l e a r n e d t h a t you don't have the answers, you s i m p l y have t o pose t h e q u e s t i o n s and put i t back t o the p e r s o n . And t h e y have t o make t h e i r d e c i s i o n e v e n t u a l l y . You r e a l l y have t o walk a f i n e l i n e . My p h i l o s o p h y i s t h a t p e o p l e have t o make t h e i r own c h o i c e s . You can ' t make the c h o i c e s f o r them and I t h i n k t h a t ' s where t h e r e i s a d i f f i c u l t y . I f you're not c a r e f u l , and because you want t o do the b e s t f o r the c l i e n t s , you t e n d t o s t a r t t o put them i n t o a mould and say t h i s i s how t h e y f i t . . . I f e e l v e r y s t r o n g l y t h a t you have t o empower them t o make t h e i r own d e c i s i o n . You can g i v e them a l l the o p t i o n s and s i t and t a l k w i t h them f o r e v e r , but e v e n t u a l l y i t has t o be t h e i r c h o i c e . So I can t e l l you t h i n g s about c l i e n t s but I have t o t a k e a s t e p up or back or s t e p sideways t o t h i n k about me b e i n g i n t h a t d i f f e r e n t r o l e . JOANNA W e l l t h a t ' s i n t e r e s t i n g . Empowerment. I s t h i s a n o t h e r word f o r l e a d e r s h i p ? JANE I use t h a t word a l o t . And g u i d i n g . That t o me i s the l e a d e r s h i p - a l l o w i n g the pe o p l e t o have t h e i r own c h o i c e . They have t o f e e l t h a t at the end of the day, t h e y d i d i t , not me. I have been a su c c e s s i f p e o p l e say "You m o t i v a t e d me," or "You gave me the s u p p o r t , " t h a t k i n d of t h i n g . T h i s i s i n my r o l e . II. Reading the Texts: Imprinted by Teacher-Leaders E a c h o f the previous stories relates to the way other teacher-leaders have left their imprint on these educators, and for some l ike M u r d o c k and Pamela , they also speak about how their o w n leadership leaves its traces on others. Such traces permeate our ways o f approaching educational practice and shape and define what is understood as educational leadership. Wha t are the impl ica t ions o f not rais ing these influences out o f the burden o f their specif ic i ty? The Gift Pamela tells the story about the t ime she is g iven a copy o f a book The Courage to Teach f rom the director o f a p rov inc ia l program in w h i c h she is an instructor. Fo r her, this gesture by a respected leader recognized and affirmed her deeply held beliefs about teaching wi th integrity and authenticity. It also communica ted powerfu l ly to her that she can bring these beliefs into her teaching practice rather than wi thho ld ing or "sneaking in to" the cur r i cu lum what she sees as the most important d imens ion o f teaching teachers: the authentic self. The gift is a symbol that cultivates commitment , loyal ty and hope ( B o l m a n & D e a l , 1993) and validated and supported her desire for a more open and intentional approach to teaching teachers. T h i s symbo l i c gesture reconfirmed her bel ief that she too, in her leadership role, has a tremendous power to influence the practice o f many adult educators. T h e story o f the gift offers an example o f the many ways in w h i c h educators may hold themselves back f rom fu l ly engaging in their teaching based on their " reading" o f the environment where the imp l i c i t norms o f "good teaching" are communicated. Pamela ' s director demonstrated his leadership symbo l i ca l l y by his 8 8 articulation o f more l iberat ing and hol is t ic teaching as is represented in Parker Pa lmer ' s book. In turn, this gesture empowered Pamela to be more intentional in her o w n leadership, more open about her aims. T h i s story opens up the poss ibi l i ty for reflecting on the degree to w h i c h our practice settings constrict or support personal agency, mot iva t ion , commitment and car ing by unspoken yet understood norms o f behaviour and relations. Structures have a powerful de l imi t ing effect on personal agency and w o r k to either constrict or enhance the ind iv idua l educator 's sense o f empowerment . Later in the conversat ion Pamela remarks that traditional leadership roles seem to require act ing according to someone else's "scr ip t" and appear to invo lve a great deal o f sacrifice. T h i s perception has impl ica t ions for educational institutions whose pol ic ies and procedures may l imi t and constrict the authority o f an educator 's leadership capacity. Enthusiast ic and commit ted educators who demonstrate their leadership in teaching and learning contexts may become disenchanted, discouraged, and demora l ized wi th in organizat ional cultures that denigrate or devalue, or s imply make inv i s ib le those w h o seek to take leadership actions without posit ional authority. Educators who might normal ly use the power and resources that are embedded wi th in their educational positions may wi thho ld an important d imens ion o f themselves. W h a t are impl ica t ions of ho ld ing outmoded definit ions o f leadership for the approaches to teaching? A n d in an era o f organizational down-s i z ing how might f ind ing ways for sharing power and responsibi l i ty among educators at a l l levels o f the organizat ion ( inc lud ing teaching faculty, administrat ion, and contract instructors) make a significant difference in the l ives o f the learners who participate in these programs? T h e gesture o f "The G i f t " encouraged Pamela to br ing her approach to education intentionally and 89 transparently in and outside her classrooms. It invi ted her to express her desires w i th a language that she already possessed. A Family of Educators and a Mentor M u r d o c k ' s descript ion o f his f ami ly and the words o f his mentor reveal his understanding o f leadership as inextr icably intertwined and profoundly shaped by the k ind o f environment he grew up in and the universi ty where he has worked for many years. Educat ional leadership, for M u r d o c k , is embodied in the two people closest to h i m - his parents. Throughout his young life his parents, both educators, communica ted to h i m that education and a l l its concerns and possibi l i t ies was central to l i fe . Surrounded as he was by educational th ink ing and the presence o f the best and brightest i n adult education i n Canada, established a norm for discuss ion and debate about the " w h o , what, w h y , where, and w h e n " o f education. In addi t ion, M u r d o c k ' s pre-understanding that educational institutions are locations where confl ic t w i l l inevi tably exist between resources and priorit ies was a helpful message offered by a respected educational leader, the President o f the universi ty where he works . T h i s message "on more than one occas ion" set a tone for his workplace where certain norms f lour ished such as independent, resourceful th ink ing and responsible and accountable program planning. W i t h i n this context the message that confl ic t is inevitable inf luenced M u r d o c k ' s mental map o f the organizat ion, one that a l lows for conf l ic t and does not try to smooth it over and force it underground. The message communica ted and understood in this br ief statement is that conf l ic t is an inescapable part o f institutional l i fe and must be faced squarely, albeit wise ly , i f one wants to resist the tendency toward becoming "settled and ca lc i f i ed . " Rather than understanding this as a negative message, M u r d o c k interpreted 90 this as an empower ing one. C o n f l i c t reflects the ongoing pol i t ica l tension between conf l ic t ing demands for l imi ted resources and, handled w e l l , generates energy and renewal. T h i s pol i t ica l d imens ion is raised again wi th respect to M u r d o c k ' s involvement in the setting up o f the Degree C o m p l e t i o n Program for w o r k i n g adults, not the pr imary "customers" o f the universi ty, but none the less, an important populat ion. T h e importance of chal lenging received w i s d o m , trusting your o w n authority, and being accountable and responsible are integrated parts o f this story. I wonder i f someone l ike Pamela , who is h ighly suspect o f the l imitat ions o f formal leadership posit ions, w o u l d be heartened by such a message f rom this respected and empower ing posi t ional leader, perhaps mak ing institutional l ife more appealing, more human, more w e l c o m i n g . M u r d o c k ' s story is also concerned wi th emphas iz ing that no matter what the source o f conf l ic t or how worthy the cause, it is s t i l l very important to take care wi th the organizat ional details, to be accountable. If y o u want to effect change, the story cautions to do so in such a way as to demonstrate attention to professional ism and administrative detail . T h i s is a reoccurr ing theme in many o f M u r d o c k ' s stories. The Exuberant Mrs. Gillen T h i s story told by A n y a , the artist and col lege art instructor, speaks o f a h igh school art teacher and the impact this teacher had on her as a young Ca tho l i c schoolg i r l g rowing up among the nuns i n Ireland. Wha t makes this teacher part icularly important is her approach to teaching a deep appreciation for art as we l l as a sense o f connect ion to the wor ld surrounding these young students. M r s . G i l l e n also communica ted a genuine interest in A n y a as a young art student who was to become a talented painter in her o w n right as w e l l as a teacher herself. M r s . G i l l e n ' s expansive and enthusiastic approach to 91 her subject and her care for her students has had a life l ong impact. In many ways M r s . G i l l e n is the embodiment o f Pamela ' s commitment to personal integrity, to the self as a powerful force for change. M r s . G i l l e n , "this broad-minded, w i l d haired, classic extroverted art teacher," was a woman wi th a fu l l life outside o f teaching, w o r k i n g in the midst o f Ca tho l i c nuns, who taught A n y a to believe in her abil i t ies and to care about and be responsive to the wor ld around her. T h i s is the moral d imens ion o f M r s . G i l l e n ' s practice and one that was inst i l led in A n y a . M r s . G i l l e n ' s educational leadership modeled and provided language to talk about what mattered in the w o r l d . B r i s k i n (1990) suggests that this is how educators teach leadership to their students. B y naming, negotiating, and t ry ing to change power relations in the c lassroom highlights the learners' "capacity and responsibi l i ty to act as change agents - and as leaders - in the w o r l d outside the c lassroom" (p. 452) . Later in the conversation A n y a tells a story about the assaulted student where this moral stance is acted on wi th considerable courage. M r s . G i l l e n demanded a respectful appreciation for the arts and she pointed out her concerns for the ozone layer, thus connect ing personal actions wi th environmental impacts long before such a connect ion was easily understood. T o this day, the imprint o f M r s . G i l l e n ' s leadership on A n y a is indel ible . She embodies spirit , exuberance and generosity, respect for tradit ion and craft in fine arts and a quest ioning o f accepted w i s d o m . What Leadership is NOT Jane is at a loss. She has no story about leadership or about leaders that have had "a posit ive influence on her educational practice as a vocat ional facili tator. She is, however , qu ick to respond wi th two stories about what she understands leadership is not. B o t h o f 92 these examples are o f people in more formal leadership posit ions where t radi t ional ly we look for particular "attributes." B u t they reflect, I think, Jane's tacit theories about leadership, w h i c h later in the conversation she reexamines as more situated. H e r first tale is o f the head o f an organizat ion that d id not delegate or share power in any way . T h i s particular program manager 's inabi l i ty to communicate her trust in the capabil i t ies o f others led to a demoral ized team of educators who worked at this particular vocat ional center. T h i s program manager set the agenda without the involvement o f or apparent regard for others. Worse , it seems that she d id not listen. Jane's second brief story tells o f a program director that appeared to have no v i s ion for the team, but instead demonstrated l imi ted expectations and non-articulated standards o f staff performance. There was no "t ightening," as Jane puts it, no sense o f l imits or boundaries against w h i c h the staff cou ld measure themselves and define their standards o f performance. T h i s story connects to M u r d o c k ' s comment about educational leadership being concerned wi th establishing an ethos for professional standards. A s he remarks, "There is no excuse for being s loppy ." T h i s particular leader, Jane recounts, " . . . w o u l d stretch and stretch and give people chances and more chances when it w o u l d have been better to have a l imi t . B u t the l ine kept m o v i n g and m o v i n g and m o v i n g . . . " Regardless o f the clients or learners invo lved , a l l educational leaders, these stories seem to be saying, must be accountable for their decisions and their actions. These stories offer what Pamela , M u r d o c k and Jane consider to be dimensions o f " g o o d " educational leadership in both the sense o f effective and mora l ly good. Pamela being g iven the book The Courage to Teach, M u r d o c k being told by a respected organizat ional leader "not to shy away f rom conf l ic t , " A n y a being inspired by 93 the enthusiasm and care o f a h igh school art teacher, are a l l stories that st i l l l i ve wi th in the co-narrators. These stories comment on how educational leaders set examples for others through mode l ing , their actions and demeanour reflecting an embodiment o f their honesty and trustworthiness, their competency and expertise, and their inspirat ion and dynamism. These stories also evoked a related interpretation f rom Shauna But te rwick , one my advisors: . . . I found myse l f th ink ing about how several o f the stories about leaders w h o had influenced your co-narrators seemed to be speaking to the importance o f leaders w h o were clear, even transparent in their phi losophica l approach. T h i s came out even in the story about 'how not to be a leader' because it was a description o f someone who d id not share or create a v i s ion . A related theme seemed to be that o f trusting others and g iv ing them space to make their o w n meaning o f their work . (Personal communica t ion , 2001) E a c h o f these leadership stories are interpretations o f the actions and words o f mentors and teachers whose influence or impr in t was l i fe long and l ives on in the practices o f these educators. Parker Palmer (1998) suggests that the teachers and mentors who make a difference i n our l ives provide us wi th an imprint o f how we learn to lead. Such people in our l ives are able to draw out our best qualities. They empower us. Pamela raises an important issue concerning power. She speaks o f the paradox o f sharing power without abdicat ing the expertise and authority o f the teacher. Ev iden t ly Pamela has not fal len prey to what Fr iedman (1985) speaks o f as a problematic in feminist theory. In our eagerness to be non-hierarchical and supportive instead o f being tyrannical and ruthlessly c r i t i ca l , we . . .often denied ourselves the authority we seek to nurture in our o w n students, (p. 206-207) hooks (1988) highlights the importance o f acknowledg ing the role o f teacher as a posit ion of power over others and that power can be used in ways that d imin i sh or enrich. 94 These stories trigger a memory o f my o w n encounters wi th various mentors and educators who are imprinted in my o w n educational leadership but little examined. One obscured memory, re-membered now, brings this notion to l ife. A W i n t e r i n Winnipeg, 1973. S t o r i e s t o l d about t e a c h e r s and mentors who l e f t t h e i r mark remind me of my w i n t e r i n Winnipeg. A t 17, newly g r a d u a t e d from h i g h s c h o o l i n Vancouver, my p a r e n t s thought I would do w e l l (as would the r e s t o f the f a m i l y ) t o spend a year away i n t h e i r hometown of Winnipeg. As i t happens, my p a r e n t s ' f r i e n d s had a d u l t c h i l d r e n and t h e i r f r i e n d s , i n t h e i r l a t e t e e n s and e a r l y 20s, would a l s o be l i v i n g t h e r e t h a t y e a r . They had a s m a l l house and I was i n v i t e d t o l i v e w i t h them. L i t t l e d i d I know how much t h a t s h o r t y ear would change the cou r s e o f my l i f e . These a d u l t c h i l d r e n , Debbie, Jimmy, M i c h e l l e , C h r i s and F r a n c i s , had been l i v i n g i n a commune i n O n t a r i o t h e y c a l l e d 'The Farm', complete w i t h a g e o d e s i c dome, s o l a r power, teepee, g o a t s , c h i c k e n s , and cr o p s o f b a r l e y and hay. They had come t o Winnipeg because of D a n i e l B e r r i g a n , a J e s u i t P r i e s t who had r e c e n t l y s e r v e d time i n p r i s o n f o r a c t s o f c i v i l d i s o b e d i e n c e i n p r o t e s t o f the Vietnam War. A p r o f e s s o r o f t h e o l o g y at C o r n e l l , he was sp e n d i n g a semester as a guest f a c u l t y a t the U n i v e r s i t y o f M a n i t o b a . I r e g i s t e r e d f o r h i s c l a s s e s : I n t r o d u c t i o n t o Theology and An I n t e r p r e t a t i o n o f t h e Book o f R e v e l a t i o n s . A l o n g w i t h my group o f f r i e n d s we a t t e n d e d h i s l e c t u r e s , p o e t r y r e a d i n g s , and seminars and we became h i s c o r e o f s t u d e n t s u p p o r t e r s d u r i n g t he f a l l semester. He came f o r d i n n e r on a number of o c c a s i o n s t o our l i t t l e house on Spence S t r e e t , a b l o c k from downtown Winnipeg. When the h o s p i t a l i t y workers a t the u n i v e r s i t y went on s t r i k e , i n a j e t b l a c k L i n c o l n C o n t i n e n t a l Town c a r borrowed from Jimmy's mom, D a n i e l B e r r i g a n rode w i t h us t h r o u g h the snow packed roads t o d e l i v e r c o f f e e and donuts t o p i c k e t e r s . L a t e r we s a t i n a c o f f e e shop and t a l k e d about h i s Vietnam p r o t e s t 95 e x p e r i e n c e s , h i s t r a v e l s t o I r e l a n d as p a r t o f the peace p r o c e s s , h i s t r a i n i n g as a J e s u i t , h i s b r o t h e r P h i l l i p , a l s o a p r i e s t who had worked many y e a r s i n Guatemala, who had m a r r i e d a nun and l e f t the c h u r c h t o s t a r t an o u t r e a c h program i n the i n n e r c i t y of B a l t i m o r e . And much more. He was a m a g n i f i c e n t s t o r y t e l l e r , humorous,' p e r s o n a l and s c h o l a r l y , -and was e q u a l l y a t t e n t i v e , i n t e r e s t e d and e n c o u r a g i n g of our newly f o r m u l a t i n g q u e s t i o n s - about the r o l e of the C a t h o l i c Church i n d e v e l o p i n g c o u n t r i e s , about s o c i a l a c t i v i s m , about s p i r i t u a l i t y and s o c i a l r e s p o n s i b i l i t y . We t a l k e d about the t h e o l o g y of l i b e r a t i o n i n L a t i n A m e r i c a , about h i s r e l a t i o n s h i p w i t h Thomas Merton, about the farm workers i n C a l i f o r n i a and the l e a d e r s h i p of Caesar Chavez whom I l a t e r met and photographed i n farm worker u n i o n meetings i n San F r a n c i s c o and on t h e p i c k e t l i n e s i n Delano, C a l i f o r n i a . A h i g h l y educated, s o p h i s t i c a t e d w o r l d t r a v e l e r , t e a c h e r and poet, F a t h e r B e r r i g a n , or Dan as we c a l l e d him, seemed t o e n j o y our company as much as we e n j o y e d h i s . He i n t r o d u c e d us t o the c o n s t a n t stream of v i s i t o r s who t r a v e l e d from around the w o r l d t o see him, i n c l u d i n g D a n i e l E l l s b e r g , famous f o r h i s i n v o l v e m e n t w i t h the Pentagon Papers. W i t t y , i n t e l l i g e n t , outspoken, and i n t e r e s t e d . No mask, no d i s t a n c e , no p r e t e n s e . He never b e t r a y e d our t r u s t i n him, never c u t us o f f . T h i s t e a c h e r l e a v e s an i m p r i n t s t i l l . A f t e r t h a t year I r e t u r n e d t o Vancouver t o b e g i n an u n d e r g r a d u a t e degree i n Communications and L a t i n American S t u d i e s . L a t e r I went t o T o r o n t o , t o s t u d y f o r a M a s t e r ' s i n A d u l t E d u c a t i o n , s t i l l c o n t i n u i n g t o seek work i n t h e margins - w i t h homeless youth, newly a r r i v e d i m m i g r a n t s , p o l i t i c a l r e f u g e e s , a d u l t l i t e r a c y s t u d e n t s . Then l a t e r I moved t o B o l i v i a and t h e n t o Colombia on assignment w i t h a number of development a g e n c i e s . As Maxine Greene (1978) says, we become who we are by the k i n d of community we l i v e i n . That year i n Winnipeg was my f i r s t e x p e r i e n c e w i t h a l e a r n i n g community t h a t shaped my w o r l d and opened up a p a t h t h a t I was t o t r a v e l l i t e r a l l y and f i g u r a t i v e l y f o r yea r s t o come. That's what e d u c a t i o n a l l e a d e r s do w i t h t h e i r words and t h e i r b e i n g s . They i n d i c a t e d i r e c t i o n s , and then l e a v e us f r e e t o i n t e r p r e t t he s i g n s and a c t on t h e i r meaning. * * * It's About Creating Something New A c c o r d i n g to M u r d o c k , educational leadership refers to educators who set an example for others to f o l l o w ; who develop something new; who see possibi l i t ies . In this story M u r d o c k describes the degree comple t ion program he was instrumental in developing for part t ime adult learners at the universi ty and the k ind o f impact it has had on the adult students who participated in the program. T h i s story illustrates what M u r d o c k means by creating something new as "not an iteration o f an exis t ing program." L i k e w i s e M u r r a y recounts in greater detail in the next instalment o f the conversation the start-up o f the hospitali ty industry-job placement program as a response to an emerging problem in the industry using a new private publ ic model . "Crea t ing something new," says M u r d o c k , " is to have a huge sense o f poss ib i l i ty . " These are possibi l i t ies wi th in the structures and in the l ives o f individuals . M u r r a y in a later story also gets at this idea o f seeing something that i sn ' t there yet when he mentions how dur ing the program entrance interview he looks for the " f l i cke r o f poss ib i l i ty . " T o see such possibi l i t ies requires imaginat ion - a cr i t ical element in educational leadership. E m i l y D i c k i n s o n says it poet ical ly: "The Poss ib le ' s s low fuse is l i t / B y the Imaginat ion." L i k e D e w e y and Arendt , D i c k i n s o n suggests that it is imag in ing things being otherwise that may be a first step toward acting on the bel ief that they can be changed. " A space o f freedom opens before the person moved to choose in the l ight o f poss ib i l i ty ; she or he feels what it signifies to be an init iator and an agent, exis t ing among others but wi th the power to 97 choose for h imse l f or h e r s e l f (cited in Greene, 1995, p. 22). See ing things that currently do not exist, not ic ing what is miss ing , then taking action to create something new are themes running through these stories o f the degree comple t ion program and later, in the social assistance to hospitali ty industry j o b placement programs. I Don't See Myself as a Leader Jane's ini t ia l response to m y question about moments o f leadership resonated strongly wi th m y o w n experience. " T h i s is new to me," she said. "I don ' t see myse l f as a leader." F o r Jane, educational leaders are people in charge o f the organizat ion and the notion o f teaching as leading is not a construct she had previously considered. Y e t as she continued to think out loud about her personal phi losophy and vocat ion and tell stories o f how she guides and supports her clients, many o f w h o m are struggling wi th uncertainties about their capacities to f ind work in a shifting economy, her educational leadership phi losophy was quite evident to me and I think it became evident to her as w e l l . H e r stories show that her approach to her clients is based on respect. T h i s respect is communicated not just wi th words , but also wi th her self, her manner, and her non-verbal presence. She demonstrates her respect for her c l ients ' autonomy and the need for them to make their o w n decisions based on their understanding o f their experience and the best available information that she provides them wi th . T o do this, "I w a l k a fine l ine , " she says concerning this balance between guid ing the client and their o w n self-discovery. B y rais ing questions, p rov id ing information and th inking about each cl ient in terms o f their unique qualities and circumstances, she doesn't treat them as i f they were al l the same. She sees the possibi l i t ies in each o f them. 98 As Jane says in a later story, "It's My Love," she asks herself a series of questions that help her navigate the self-exploration process and action planning involved in her work as a vocational facilitator. "What are their talents?" "What are their skills?" "What are they hiding?" "What do we need to do to help them find the skills and talents?" "What conditions can we create together?" The answers to these questions help guide her. She walks this fine line by framing the conversation with each client with information gathered about their worldview, their history, and their perspective. She has learned over the years when to speak and when to remain silent and how to listen to what is said and not said, and how to draw the client's attention to his or her capability to act on his or her own behalf. This is Jane's understanding of empowerment and it is inextricably tied to her understanding of her own leadership. She says, "I have been a success if people say "You motivated me," or "You gave me the support," that kind of thing. This is in my role." 9 Her story begins with the initial claim that she is not a leader. She then proceeds to talk about her systematic and conversational approach to her practice and she ends with the statement, "...what it's all about is ...to give the person a helping hand when they need it and [then] they run with it." As I read and reread her story her shifting perspective struck me. From another angle she becomes able to see her thoughts and actions in terms of leadership, but she says, "I have to take a step up or back or step sideways to think about me being in that different role." In fact, within her practice there are multiple roles and as she takes a step sideways or backward through the telling of this story she bumps into her own leadership identity which she discovers is very much Shrewsbury (1987) suggests: "leadership is a special form of empowerment that empowers others...The goal is to increase the power of all actors, not to limit the power of some." Briskin (1990) notes: "elitist practices associated with conventional forms of leadership have led many feminists to reject leadership itself." (p. 486). Jane makes reference earlier in this conversation to two such examples of poorly executed conventional leadership that she experienced as demoralizing, constricting, and alienating. 99 central to her practice but so enmeshed in her dai ly actions as to be taken for granted, inv is ib le , imbedded and indiscernible . A b o u t the interpretation o f her stories I wrote to Jane wi th these reflections on our conversation: Wha t strikes me is your deep commitment to the growth and empowerment o f people and their inherent right to be treated wi th respect and as autonomous people. T h i s seems to be the basis o f your phi losophy and what makes y o u so effective at what y o u do.. . i t 's not the techniques y o u use but the sensit ivity and t im ing o f your interventions. T h i s approach (or as the Greeks ca l l it "practical w i sdom") when y o u talk wi th colleagues or clients in the midst o f complex issues seems to me to be a huge part o f educational leadership. Y o u r comments on what is not, in your v i ew, educational leadership are also interesting. B o t h those who control and dominate wi th their agendas and those who have no boundaries or l imitat ions, as y o u point out, seem to indicate a lack o f awareness or self-knowledge. F r o m what y o u said, this self-awareness is central to your ab id ing phi losophy. I notice that y o u talk about the importance o f non-judgement and I too have this bel ief in the need to be accepting o f others as they are and g i v i n g them the support they need that is suited to their particular needs at the moment. I have been p u z z l i n g over the idea o f ' judgement ' as an important d imens ion o f educational leadership (not in the sense o f being d isapproving but in the sense o f s i z ing up a situation and f igur ing out what ought to be done). It seems to be fundamental to educational leadership to make judgements exp l i c i t and therefore defensible and discussible wi th others (clients and co-workers and funders al ike) . It seemed l ike both leaders y o u talked about d id not express their v i s ion , expectations, or reasons for do ing things pub l ic ly and therefore they d id not seem to be accountable for their actions. I love the image that comes to mind o f what y o u do as supporting people to begin to ' w a l k t a l l ' . It is such a powerful metaphor for your vocat ion. Y o u also talk about the importance o f the group is really insightful - the importance o f group support and this delicate balance o f p rov id ing a safe place for people to regroup but also mak ing this space cha l lenging and empower ing o f others to take action. N o t an easy task. There is a quiet courage and humi l i ty in the way y o u seem to go about your practice. T h i s love and respect for people in need seems l ike a fundamental d imension o f your leadership as is w o r k i n g wi th intui t ion and inner authority (the blue quali ty!) . I wonder i f our mental pictures and 100 cultural traditions o f the strong male leader are what prevent the soft spoken woman f rom recogniz ing herself as a leader in her o w n right? There ' s a lot in this. (Personal communica t ion , 2001) CHAPTER FIVE: TENSIONS AND CHALLENGES IN EDUCATIONAL LEADERSHIP I. From Reluctant to Intentional Leadership JOANNA Jane, you seem t o have a c l e a r p e r s o n a l p h i l o s o p h y t h a t you draw on, t h a t makes sense t o you... [Leading from Within) JANE Yes, i t i s something t h a t I have worked on. People want you t o be calm and o b j e c t i v e and t o keep a c l e a r u n d e r s t a n d i n g about what's happening. T h i s i s how I am a b l e t o h e l p them. I t doesn't mean t h a t you don't empathize w i t h them, v e r y much so, but by s t e p p i n g back you have a b e t t e r v i e w o f t h e s i t u a t i o n . At c l o s e t o 60 ye a r s o l d , I f i n d I am v e r y i n t u i t i v e . I work from my gut. T h i s i s something I have worked a t f o r a l o n g time and t h i s i s p o s i t i v e f o r o t h e r p e o p l e . I can ac c e p t them and l e t them be who t h e y are w i t h o u t h a v i n g t o change them. Without s a y i n g , " W e l l t h i s i s what you are and t h i s i s what you have t o change" because I am c o m f o r t a b l e w i t h who I am. I t ' s not something t h a t 20 or 30 ye a r s ago I would have done. JOANNA That i s i n t e r e s t i n g f o r younger p e o p l e coming i n , and what i t means f o r t h e i r approach and perhaps the tendency t o say, "Here, t h i s i s what you s h o u l d do." You know, b e i n g v e r y d i r e c t i v e . JANE And t h a t i s what i s a s c a r y p a r t i n e d u c a t i o n and s o c i a l s e r v i c e s . I l i k e t o l e a d by example and what e v e r I do i n my own l i f e , i n my w o r k i n g w i t h p e o p l e and d e a l i n g w i t h 102 c l i e n t s and w i t h coworkers, I hope t h a t t h a t w i l l b r i n g something. Rather than s a y i n g , " T h i s i s what you s h o u l d be d o i n g , " I say, " T h i s i s what I am d o i n g . " I f you l i k e t he way I'm d o i n g i t and i f you see t h i s works f o r me the n maybe you'd l i k e to...' I f pe o p l e want a d v i c e , t h a t ' s f i n e , w e l l t h e n I w i l l say something but I r e a l l y don't say • 'look, you s h o u l d do this...' JOANNA You must be tempted sometimes! Some t h i n g s must seem so c l e a r t o you...There are o f t e n so many gaps i n our u n d e r s t a n d i n g , you can j u s t see the p o t e n t i a l i n someone t h a t t h e y don't see t h e m s e l v e s . But as you say, t h e r e are many ways t o begin... JANE (NODS IN AGREEMENT) ...Well you have t o have t h a t magic moment which i s so i m p o r t a n t when, yes, t h e r e i s a p e r s o n t h a t you'd r e a l l y l i k e t o t a l k t o but g o i n g up t o them out of the b l u e , i s n ' t t he way t o approach them. When the t e a c h a b l e moment i s t h e r e o r the magic moment, t h e n yes. For example, t h e r e i s a p e r s o n at work who tends t o p a n i c i n c e r t a i n s i t u a t i o n s and he tends t o p u l l back and he's got l o t s o f s k i l l s but. he tends not t o use them. I n s t e a d he tends t o p l a y i t s a f e . T h i s i s the p e r s o n who i s i n charge o f t h e r e s o u r c e c e n t e r . He can do a r e a l l y good j o b but f i n d s t h a t h i s comfort zone i s t o work a t t h e computer r a t h e r t h a n b e i n g out t h e r e w i t h the c l i e n t s . Because he i s s t u c k out t h e r e i n the open, he i s r i g h t t h e r e i n the room when you walk i n and he's v e r y n o t i c e a b l e , so I have had some t a l k s w i t h him about what he i s c o m f o r t a b l e with... JOANNA K i n d o f r a i s i n g h i s awareness o f what's p o s s i b l e ? JANE That's r i g h t . JOANNA Drawing h i s . a t t e n t i o n t o what he might do, what h i s s k i l l s are... JANE Yes...for me, by f o c u s i n g on t h e p o s i t i v e , I do t h i s w i t h my c l i e n t s as w e l l , by t a l k i n g about what you've got, not what you haven't got, e m p h a s i z i n g the p o s i t i v e . "You do these' t h i n g s so w e l l , wouldn't i t be g r e a t i f you were a b l e t o do t h i s and this...and you can because you have t h i s , t h i s , and this...you have t h e s e w o n d e r f u l t a l e n t s and you need t o use them and d e v e l o p them." That k i n d o f c o n v e r s a t i o n . JOANNA You are h a v i n g a g r e a t impact on a l o t o f p e o p l e ' s l i v e s . JANE W e l l , yes. Scary... ( l a u g h t e r ) . Not r e a l l y s c a r y though. People who s t a r t e d t h r o u g h us, who the n went back t o s c h o o l and then t h e y got the t r a i n i n g and the n t h e y have been h i r e d ...that's what i t i s a l l about. They run w i t h i t . You g i v e the p e r s o n a h e l p i n g hand when th e y need i t and t h e y run w i t h i t . * * * P u t t i n g P r e j u d i c e "At R i s k " : From R e l u c t a n t t o I n t e n t i o n a l L e a d e r s h i p INT. DANCE STUDIO (JENNIFER IS STANDING ALONG SIDE THREE FEMALE DANCERS. SHE INDICATES TO ONE TO MOVE HER BODY JUST SO. THE DANCER REPEATS THE GESTURE. THE OTHERS WAIT FOR THEIR CUE, AND THEN BOTH RUN AND LEAP WHILE THE OTHER WATCHES QUIETLY.) JOANNA J e n n i f e r , what about you? You spent y e a r s i n New York as a s t u d e n t w i t h the ch o r e o g r a p h e r Merce Cunningham. How d i d t h i s e x p e r i e n c e i n f l u e n c e you? JENNIFER That was the most i n s p i r i n g t r a d i t i o n t o me but t h a t ' s not how I began i n dance. I went t o a u n i v e r s i t y and d i d s i x ye a r s o f Graham t e c h n i q u e b e f o r e h a n d . But i t was t h r o u g h the p e o p l e t h a t were e x p e r i m e n t i n g and on t h e edge of dance and Merce Cunningham--at the time t h a t I was t r a i n i n g i n the e a r l y 70s--was a l r e a d y t h e p a t r i a r c h , so i t was t h r o u g h the p e o p l e , the g e n e r a t i o n a f t e r him, t h e y were the p e o p l e who i n s p i r e d me. JOANNA W e l l as the ch o r e o g r a p h e r you are i n the n a t u r a l l e a d i n g p o s i t i o n and have the f i n a l a u t h o r i t y t o make t h e changes. JENNIFER Not n e c e s s a r i l y . Because of the t r a d i t i o n t h a t I come from; you see Cunningham would h i r e a composer and l e t them do t h e i r work and the n he would do h i s work and wouldn't say, " I want you t o make t h i s match." And he'd o f t e n do a season and have a new composer e v e r y n i g h t and t h e y ' d j u s t come and p l a y t h e i r music. I t was f o r the audience t o make the c o r r e l a t i o n between t h e music and the dance. I have i n t e n t i o n a l l y a v o i d e d b e i n g t o o l i t e r a l , t o o d i r e c t i v e . But I have r e a l i z e d r e c e n t l y t h a t I have a v e r y p a s s i v e . approach when I c o l l a b o r a t e w i t h a r t i s t s . I n so f a r as I un d e r s t a n d , "They are an a r t i s t and I am an a r t i s t , I ' l l do my work and t h e y ' l l do t h e i r work. Perhaps I don't need t o u n d e r s t a n d what t h e y do or why t h e y do i t . " But t h i s has been chan g i n g and I r e c e n t l y c o l l a b o r a t e d w i t h a f i l m m a k e r and I wanted t o u n d e r s t a n d what he was d o i n g even though he a l s o came from t h i s same t r a d i t i o n o f w o r k i n g i n d e p e n d e n t l y , not t r y i n g t o make what we do "match." He was d o i n g h i s work and I was d o i n g my work, i t ' s j u s t t h a t we are i n the same p l a c e t o g e t h e r d o i n g i t . I r e a l i z e as I am s a y i n g t h i s t h a t I am now making a change by the f a c t t h a t I c o n s i d e r t h a t p a s s i v e , as opposed t o , b e f o r e i t was s i m p l y r e s p e c t i n g them as an a r t i s t and l e t t i n g them do t h e i r work. But now I want c o l l a b o r a t i o n s , i n some sense, I want t o know "Why d i d you do t h a t ? " "How do you do t h a t i n your form," and " L e t ' s f i g u r e t h i s out how we do t h i s and t h i s ? " JOANNA To a r t i c u l a t e some of the thinking...? JENNIFER To get us b o t h on the same page. I r e a l i z e because I am b e g i n n i n g t o have q u e s t i o n s t h a t I want answered. You see the whole t h i n g about i n t e r p r e t a t i o n seems t o be a s t u d y of v i s i o n . I have some i d e a s about the end r e s u l t t h a t I'm a f t e r and making the p i e c e i s t h e n s i m p l y d o i n g what you need t o do t o get the end r e s u l t . More and more I seem t o be a b l e t o have a sense about what t h e end r e s u l t i s and. t h e r e f o r e I need t o become more of a l e a d e r and t a k e the p e o p l e w i t h me t o the r e s u l t t h a t I want, i f I want t o get t h a t r e s u l t . That's a change i n terms of l e a d e r s h i p . W i t h dancers as w e l l , I o f t e n j u s t s t e p back and see what t h e dancers b r i n g because I f e e l t h a t i f I d i r e c t t o o much the n t h e y c a n ' t get t h e r e . They shut down. JOANNA Knowing and not knowing. To d e f i n e t h e v i s i o n and be open t o t h e c o n t r i b u t o r s . T h i s back and f o r t h , t h i s t e n s i o n i s t r u l y a dance i n i t s e l f . |Naming t h e Dance[ JENNIFER I t ' s a complete dance. I t ' s a complete dance. I n terms of b e i n g a l e a d e r , t h e r e has been a huge r e l u c t a n c e i n m y s e l f t o b e i n g a l e a d e r . I have c o n s c i o u s l y been a s k i n g m y s e l f "What i s a good a r t i s t i c d i r e c t o r ? " "What makes a good a r t i s t i c d i r e c t o r ? " and "What i s the l e a d e r s h i p i n v o l v e d ? " and I see t h i s r e l u c t a n c e . Because i t i s c l e a r t h a t i n dance anyway, t h a t when .I know something, I know something. I t ' s a l s o c l e a r t h a t i t ' s the n a t u r e o f the form t h a t when you b e g i n , you b e g i n w i t h h u m i l i t y . That you don't know a n y t h i n g ( l a u g h t e r ) . You can know s p e c i f i c t h i n g s but you don't know e v e r y t h i n g . So you c a n ' t , i n many s i t u a t i o n s , make d e c i s i o n s t o o q u i c k l y . I j u s t have t o s i t t h e r e u n t i l t he d e c i s i o n i s ready t o be made. And because of t h e speed a t which we work, we have t o make a d e c i s i o n , because the d e a d l i n e was y e s t e r d a y , i t ' s d i f f i c u l t t o s i t out u n t i l you r e a l l y know what has t o be done and how. JOANNA You have t o a c t . JENNIFER I l e a r n e d t h a t you always have t o have'the t i t l e o f the dance b e f o r e you b e g i n the p i e c e . You need i t f o r the p r e s s r e l e a s e . For example t h e r e were two dance p i e c e s , one of them was c a l l e d Smashed Carapace. I worked w i t h a n o t h e r c h o r e o g r a p h e r and we spent a whole a f t e r n o o n t a l k i n g , even b e f o r e g o i n g i n t o the s t u d i o , we j u s t t a l k e d about what we wanted t o e x p l o r e t h r o u g h t h i s dance. Smashed carapace f e l t l i k e t h a t was i t . You t a k e o f f the c r u s t and get down t o what i s r e a l l y g o i n g on i n s i d e . That's what i t f e l t l i k e ' . So we named the dance "Smashed Carapace" and w h i l e we t o u r e d she h u r t her back and the t i t l e r e a l i z e d i t s e l f i n t h i s v e r y t w i s t e d way. Then t h e r e was an o t h e r dance c a l l e d "No P i c n i c " and the p r o c e s s r e a l l y was no p i c n i c . The dancers a l l got r e a l l y s i c k and the p i e c e was h a r d t o work' w i t h and e v e r y t h i n g was a g a i n s t i t , so I became l e e r y about making the t i t l e , o t h e r t h a n a r e a l l y innocuous t i t l e b e f o r e hand, because I d i d n ' t know enough and t h e t i t l e would mock me and t w i s t me, and i n some way t u r n back and l e e r a t the p r o j e c t . JOANNA Di d the p r o j e c t t u r n out a l l r i g h t i n the end? JENNIFER I don't know what a l l r i g h t i s . (Laughter) FADE TO BLACK * * -k FADE UP EXT. BEACHSIDE - DAYTIME (THE GROUP WALKS DOWN THE BEACH TOGETHER; THE WAVES BREAK ON THE SHORE AND CREATE A LOUD CRASHING SOUND. JENNIFER AND ANYA CARRY THEIR SHOES, THEIR PANT LEGS ARE ROLLED UP AND THEY WALK IN THE WATER.) |Creating Safe and C h a l l e n g i n g Space| JANE What I t r y t o do i n v o c a t i o n a l e d u c a t i o n i s t o c r e a t e independence i n pe o p l e by c r e a t i n g a group t h a t i s s u p p o r t i v e and s a f e but not t o o much -- c r e a t i n g independence i s f a r h e a l t h i e r . I f you c r e a t e a n o t h e r dependency w i t h i n the group, i n a 12-week c o u r s e , i t would be v e r y easy f o r p e o p l e t o become v e r y c o m f o r t a b l e i n the s i t u a t i o n , t o f i n d t h i s as a second home. What you have t o say i s , "Yes t h i s i s a v e r y s a f e p l a c e and you can be s a f e h e r e , but you need t o s t a r t t o s t e p out from here and the n come back and e x p l a i n and share w i t h us, and see how i t goes, not j u s t t o s t a y w i t h i n your own cocoon." JOANNA So you i n t e n t i o n a l l y have t o make pe o p l e a l i t t l e b i t u n c o m f o r t a b l e . JANE Yes, o r at l e a s t i t s not j u s t a s a f e haven, at l e a s t i t ' s a s a f e p l a c e t o share but i t s not the o n l y p l a c e you've got t o go t o , from here you s t e p out i n t o t h e b i g world... JOANNA I t ' s a stepping-stone... JANE Yes, e x a c t l y - - i t ' s a s o r t o f - - b u i l d i n g b l o c k . JOANNA You c a r e f o r t h e l e a r n e r s by c h a l l e n g i n g them a t the same time as p r o v i d i n g them a s u p p o r t i v e environment. Anya, as someone who i s c o n s t a n t l y c r e a t i n g spaces f o r a r t i s t s ' l e a r n i n g i n the s t u d i o , do you have an i n s t a n c e where you have i n t e n t i o n a l l y c h a l l e n g e d a l e a r n e r t o s t r e t c h beyond h i s o r her p e r c e i v e d c a p a b i l i t i e s ? ANYA I t h i n k I f o r c e many of the s t u d e n t s t o go t o p a r t i c u l a r places... i n t e l l e c t u a l l y , t e c h n i c a l l y , c r e a t i v e l y . I mean, t o r e a l l y push themselves and t o t r y new, perhaps d i f f i c u l t t h i n g s . At the moment t h e r e i s a young woman i n one of my c l a s s e s who has been l i v i n g on the s t r e e t s f o r about f i v e y e a r s and you know, you can see by her whole body language how guarded she i s and how a f r a i d she i s . For many of the s t u d e n t s , no m a t t e r what t h e i r ages t h e i r s e l f - e s t e e m i s so low. You get t o know which s t u d e n t s have the c o n f i d e n c e and come from v e r y s u p p o r t i v e background, but you get a l o t o f s t u d e n t s t h a t don't. L i k e t h i s p a r t i c u l a r one. I have been p u s h i n g her, and been a t her, and she's done some amazing t h i n g s w i t h her a r t . She's a p p l i e d t o C o n c o r d i a U n i v e r s i t y and she's g e t t i n g out of her d i f f i c u l t l i v i n g s i t u a t i o n and t r y i n g a n o t h e r c i t y . When she f i r s t s t a r t e d she j u s t c o u l d not even fathom t h a t she c o u l d even get the s l i d e s t o g e t h e r f o r her p o r t f o l i o and f i l l out t h e a p p l i c a t i o n . I am j u s t f a c i l i t a t i n g i t and making i t e a s i e r f o r h e r . I t ' s what I do, p a r t i c u l a r l y f o r s t u d e n t s l i k e h er who do-not seem t o have a l o t of s u p p o r t . She's been l i v i n g on the s t r e e t s and f e e l s she i s one up from the dregs of s o c i e t y and she's got no b e l i e f t h a t she has any a b i l i t y o r t a l e n t , t h a t she c o u l d go anywhere. So today I was at her... JOANNA When you say " a t h e r " what do you mean? ANYA W e l l " a t h e r " you know, I say t o her, "What do you r e a l l y , r e a l l y want? What's your b i g g e s t w i s h ? " and she'd say, " I ' d l o v e t o go t o M o n t r e a l . I'd l o v e t o do my BFA. I'd l o v e t o do my M a s t e r ' s . " So I say t o her, "When's t h e d e a d l i n e ? " She s a y s , " I don't know, I don't know, I don't know." I say, " W e l l t h e n go over t h e r e and go over there... You have a l i s t o f t h i n g s t o do, now go and do a l l t h o s e ' t h i n g s . " And j u s t by h e l p i n g her make the l i s t o f t h i n g s t h a t need t o be done, not d o i n g i t f o r her, I'm j u s t making i t e a s i e r f o r her, you know? Because I know what i t was l i k e m y s e l f when I was younger. I t ' s j u s t overwhelming. You have no c l u e where t o go and you f e e l you're such a f a i l u r e and you don't even know how t o s t a r t . Other p e o p l e have t h e w h e r e w i t h a l t o f i g u r e out the system. "You go here t o get t h i s , you get t h i s t o t r a n s f e r , " you know? I t ' s j u s t f o l l o w i n g i n s t r u c t i o n s and h a v i n g the i n f o r m a t i o n . "How do I t r a n s f e r t o a n o t h e r c o l l e g e ? " "How do I go h e r e ? " " I s i t r e a l i s t i c ? " Even though she's p r e p a r i n g h e r s e l f f o r t h e wor s t , "There's no way I ' l l get i n , " she s a y s . I t h i n k she w i l l . JOANNA So showing her the ropes and l e t t i n g her know t h a t you w i l l f o l l o w up and see how she's p r o g r e s s i n g ? ANYA That's r i g h t . ~k ~k ~k II. Breaking with Traditions Jennifer is an artistic director, a choreographer, and a dance educator steeped in the modern dance tradition o f the great contemporary dancers and choreographers Mar tha G r a h a m and M e r c e Cunn ingham. T h i s tradition runs deep wi th in the dance w o r l d and is not easily set aside. One important element wi th in this tradition involves artistic col laborat ion and unspoken assumptions about what it means to create and to communicate a v i s ion for a particular piece o f work. Gadamer refers to traditions as prejudices or pre-understandings and suggests that it is the prejudices o f an ind iv idua l that "constitute the historical reality o f his [sic] being (Gadamer, 1995, cited in D e n z i n and L i n c o l n , 2000, p. 277). W e cannot operate in society without traditions, but more often than not traditions are played out in ways that are unquestioned and taken as natural truths rather than as soc ia l ly constructed ways o f understanding and acting. In a profound sense these traditions have us, before we have them (Caputo, 2000). Bu t what happens when these beliefs and assumptions no longer capture the complex i ty o f the situations we face? Jennifer 's story about col laborat ion in dance raises interesting questions about how unchallenged traditions w i th in contemporary dance have l imi ted her desire to be more decis ive, more verbal ly articulate. She says, "I have just real ized recently that I have a passive approach, and now I need to become more o f a leader. . . to get the results I want." T h i s meta-statement, a reflection on a reflection, suggests that she is mak ing an 111 important shift in her understanding, recogniz ing , as she speaks, deeply held assumptions about what it means to lead wi th in a col laborat ive process o f creating a dance. T h r o u g h her example o f a respected teacher/choreographer M e r c e C u n n i n g h a m Jennifer articulates a complex and paradoxical understanding o f leadership. There is a tension between the traditional command and control approach wi th heavy negative overtones and the col laborat ive model o f artists w h o work on parallel tracks and don ' t interfere wi th the other's v i s ion even when w o r k i n g side by side on the same project. W i t h this either/or mindscape it is no wonder that she has resisted t ry ing something new. A s she says, "There is a huge reluctance in myse l f to being a leader." Perhaps she is speaking o f her reluctance to be a traditional leader and al l that it signifies to her. Y e t , o f late, she increasingly wants to be more intentional in her leadership process. One reading o f this story is that Jennifer 's concept ion o f leadership is based on a traditional notion o f control and this defini t ion sits uncomfortably wi th her o w n approach to artistic direct ion. H e r words i m p l y a wi l l ingness to risk these prejudices and to change her m i n d about what she considers good leadership. T h i s struggle to understand what makes a good leader wi th in the context o f Jennifer 's practice is a fami l ia r one, one she shares openly and honestly. Y e t when Jennifer talks about good leadership, 1 wonder i f she refers to being effective or being moral . Perhaps both? Imbedded wi th in this story o f creating a dance col laborat ively is , it seems to me, the progression o f Jennifer 's changing beliefs about what it means to lead. "I am more l ike a tour guide, not k n o w i n g more than anyone else" is perhaps too humble a starting point for someone who has spent years s tudying and pract ic ing her art. T o me this statement reflects a value o f democracy and egali tar ianism fi t t ing more wi th P la to ' s notion o f leaders as "weavers" (Temes, 1996), as 112 persons not so much different f rom those who are f o l l o w i n g , more in tune wi th a faci l i tat ive approach to teaching than a didactic one. The role o f the leader as weaver is to weave together a l l k inds o f people and their particular interests and talents al l for the purpose o f creating a fine garment. T h i s is an appealing notion, one that captures something fami l ia r in my o w n leadership approach. C lea r ly this is a more modest notion than one that defines leaders as phi losopher kings. Between Knowing and Not Knowing T o begin, says Jennifer, is to begin wi th humi l i ty . " Y o u can k n o w specific things but y o u can ' t know everything." T h i s story illustrates how she named her dance projects in the past and the inherent risk that naming a project can result in l i m i t i n g or warp ing its real possibi l i t ies . In her story she articulates the d i l e m m a o f naming a project too soon and thus f raming the project too narrowly and consequently producing disastrous outcomes. She gives two examples o f projects - "Smashed Carapace" and " N o P i c n i c " that resulted in unwanted outcomes. W h a t she has learned in this process is to f ix the frame o f the project l igh t ly , not to put too much importance on the title but to give the project a shape that provides structure without l i m i t i n g what its f inal outcome w i l l be. T h i s story articulates in a l i v i n g way the tensions and in terweaving o f communica t ive and strategic a c t i o n 1 0 i nvo l ve d in establishing aims for a dance project, yet carefully creating the condit ions wi th in w h i c h the dancers and other collaborators are g iven room to l u Communicative and strategic action refer to ends and means, about the process and the outcomes. Traditionally vocational exploration programs for labour market transitions, computer training programs for women on welfare, skills training for multicultural workers, for example are educative spaces where the ends such as developing technical-rational skills, are predetermined (e.g., how to write a resume or develop a particular skill) as well as being locations where the means are equally important, such as fostering communicative competence (i.e., how to identify problematic ideas, beliefs and values, critically examine the basis of these assumptions, and through discussion with others, test and justify them). 113 contribute to the f inal outcome. It's a struggle between means and ends. It's a struggle educators who plan programs also face. Th rough concrete detail this story makes important comments about and offers insight into the d i lemmas o f traditional leadership models where the leader "suppl ies" the v i s ion fu l ly formed and her task is to "persuade" others to carry it out. S m i r c i c h & M o r g a n (1982) expand this complex notion by suggesting that: .. .effective leadership depends on the extent to w h i c h the leader 's defini t ion o f the situation serves as a basis for the action o f others, f raming the experience for others so that action can be guided by c o m m o n conceptions as to what should occur, (p. 74) T h i s story also reveals the complex i ty o f leadership as a meaning mak ing process; this back and forth between the v i s ion and the necessary action to attain the v i s ion and the need for language and talk and l is tening and speaking to create the outcome desired -i t ' s as i f leadership in this instance is a conversation. "It 's a dance, i t ' s a real dance." A n d in much the same way , this story seems to mean, so is educational leadership. There is no straight l ine, no seven steps, and no list o f qualities and processes that guarantee a particular result. W i t h regard to Jennifer as the narrator o f her experience, one can v i ew the narrative as a metaphor for a larger discussion about the dist inctions between communica t ive and strategic action (Bor l and , 1991) and the risk o f conceptual iz ing or f raming the goals or "ends" o f action too t ightly or inaccurately. These are good lessons for educational leaders p lanning programs, program wh ich focus only on outcomes and leave no room for participants to br ing their o w n experiences to the process. 114 Creating Safe and Unsafe Space: Pushing Learners to Try Difficult Things In their work on organizational leadership K o u z e s and Posner (cited in Conger , 1992, p.47) point out that leaders encourage extraordinary accomplishments wi th in groups and organizations and help them to take responsibi l i ty in their w o r k and in their l ives . T h e co-narrators point to the various ways they challenge the students in their programs to be responsible for themselves, to challenge themselves, in a context o f respect and digni ty . The paradoxical notion o f creating safe and unsafe educative space is addressed direct ly by Jane who gives the example o f the short-term vocat ional programs where there is so much at stake. People are under tremendous pressure to f ind w o r k and to be responsible for themselves. Y e t when they come into the program, they often feel discouraged and anxious. Jane is a portrait i n care, yet she knows that to care means also to confront. In this sense she is more in tune wi th bel l hooks, who uses her authority in the class room to challenge students to become cr i t ical thinkers, to speak up and to f ind their voices by r i sk ing themselves (hooks, 1995). M u r r a y also notes that people entering his programs are generally "on a low ebb." Surely they need safety above a l l . B u t Jane says, "It 's not just another safe haven, at least i t 's a safe place to share, but i t ' s not the on ly place y o u ' v e got to go to, f rom here y o u step out into the b ig w o r l d . . . " A n y a speaks o f getting "at" her students when she recognizes the untapped potential and se l f - l imi t ing behaviour o f talented students. She demonstrates her confidence in these students by articulating her expectations o f them and chal lenging and gu id ing them. She mentions a particular student who she assisted wi th her appl icat ion to a universi ty program. In this conversation between student and teacher, the leadership is empower ing : I say to her, "Wha t do y o u real ly, really want? W h a t ' s your biggest w i s h ? " and she says, " I ' d love to go to Mont rea l . I ' d love to do my B F A . I ' d love 115 to do m y Mas t e r ' s . " So I say to her, " W h e n ' s the deadl ine?" She says, "I don ' t know, I don ' t k n o w , I don ' t k n o w . " I say, " W e l l then go over there and go over there.. . you have a list o f things to do, now go and do a l l those things. M u r d o c k offers another example o f the degree comple t ion program as a space to be challenged, where students' th ink ing deepens. H e observes " . . . y o u cou ld see them go through real stages where they w o u l d say, " Y o u know when I came into the program I saw everything in black and white . N o w I see that i t ' s a bit more complex than that, there are shades o f grey." Individuals need safe spaces to develop their th ink ing , gather information, and prepare to act i n publ ic - sheltered spaces that respect and dignify their experiences; preparing them not only for work , but also support their capacity to become actors in the publ ic sphere. A s Greene (1990) notes, ind iv idua ls become w h o they are wi th in the fabrics o f communi t ies ; so much depends on the kinds o f communi ty they inhabit, what k ind o f teachers they have. In the c lassroom or communi ty setting, wherever the site o f learning is located, there is an important connect ion between what is personally and socia l ly possible. Educat ional leaders, regardless o f setting are those w h o ask, what kinds o f communi t ies are being created in vocat ional explorat ion or social assistance to work programs? In classrooms? In communi ty meetings and shopping mal l t raining sessions? Wha t opportunities are being lost? Educat ional leadership in this sense recognizes and articulates the tensions between the need for pr ivacy , trust, respect and safety necessary to explore personal issues in a d ignif ied manner (Be lenky , C l i n c h y , Goldberger & Tarule , 1986), as we l l as the importance o f cha l lenging students to develop the communica t ive competencies required for action beyond the c lassroom. T o risk their assumptions, to redefine themselves, to begin to i nd iv idua l ly and co l lec t ive ly learn to participate. 116 In a previous study (Ashwor th , 2000), exp lor ing publ ic and private concept ion o f educative space, I focused on the virtues o f the private c lassroom space. Bache lard (1958/1964), in his imaginat ive w o r k The Poetics of Space, refers to the nest as hav ing particular virtues. The nest is hidden and sheltered and it is a good, w a r m home, it is even life giving. . .s ince it continues to shelter the bird that has come out o f the egg. It also serves as a sort o f downy coverlet for the baby bird until its quite naked sk in grows its o w n down . (Bachelard , 1958/1964, p. 92) T h e nest is a metaphor quite f i t t ing a discussion about the sheltered space connect ing private and publ ic . It is also interesting to note that the nest is buil t wi th the body o f the b i rd , who through much effort, pressing and t ightening the materials, fits its body into the nest perfectly. Sheltered spaces can be located in communi ty organizations, churches, communi ty centers, youth clubs, abor iginal , environmental or w o m e n ' s groups, and offer opportunities to prepare people for action in the social and pol i t ica l scene. These spaces are largely private in that they are often considered safe and not open to outsiders. It is wi th in these spaces that concepts o f self-worth, identity, uncertainty and hope are more freely articulated. A l l young birds are eventually pushed out o f the nest, forced to test their wings only as they are fa l l ing . Educators w h o take their vocat ion seriously, as the co-narrators do, are in the business o f intentionally creating educative spaces that encourage cri t ique, reflection, quest ioning, "not k n o w i n g , " t ry ing on new perspectives, and th inking out loud without fear o f r id icule , w i th in an atmosphere o f trust and mutual respect. B u t what o f chal lenging spaces? A s Jane points out, "there is no point in creating further dependencies." A n y a too, sees her role as f ind ing ways to get students "to really push themselves and to try new, perhaps diff icul t , things." 117 III. Conversations That Persuade, Connect, and Provoke Action |After Nine Months of C o n s t a n t C o n v e r s a t i o n s a New Program i s | Born! MURRAY When we f i r s t s e t up the t o u r i s m i n d u s t r y program i t was d i f f i c u l t , q u i t e f r a n k l y , c o n v i n c i n g the government, t h a t i s , t he government employees who were d o i n g the same j o b f o r so many y e a r s , t h a t here was a program t h a t was g o i n g t o work. I t too k n i n e months of c o n s t a n t meetings and w i t h i n t h o s e n i n e months t h e y were a l l on our s i d e . There are a few t h a t s t i l l have b l i n d e r s on... JOANNA So when you say government employees you're t a l k i n g about p e o p l e w o r k i n g i n the m i n i s t r y i t s e l f ? They a re not c o n v i n c e d t h a t some k i n d o f a p r i v a t e e n t e r p r i s e approach can work? MURRAY That's been the problem... c o n v i n c i n g government t h a t some p r i v a t e e n t e r p r i s e can come i n and do what t h e y d i d . What we d i d i n t h i s y ear p r o v i n c i a l l y i s p r o v i d e work f o r 3000 p e o p l e , whereas i n the p a s t t h e y haven't had as much s u c c e s s . Over the p e r i o d o f time the program has been o p e r a t i n g we have employed 6000 p e o p l e . JOANNA Who was o f f e r i n g t h e t r a i n i n g t h a t you do b e f o r e your program? Was i t d i r e c t l y from the m i n i s t r y ? MURRAY Yes, d i r e c t l y from the m i n i s t r y o r p e o p l e who worked on t h e i r own. The f e d e r a l government a l s o had some programs t h a t d i r e c t e d p e o p l e t o customer s e r v i c e and so on but i t wasn't r e a l l y d i r e c t e d t o the t o u r i s m and h o s p i t a l i t y i n d u s t r y . I t was o n l y i d e n t i f i e d s i x or seven y e a r s ago 18 t h a t t h e r e was g o i n g t o be a s h o r t a g e o f good employees, or employees, p e r i o d , i n our i n d u s t r y . T h i s i s i n response t o a s t u d y done i n 1996 t h a t i n d i c a t e d the i n d u s t r y i s g o i n g t o need 16,000 cooks by the year 2000. But where were t h e y g o i n g t o come from? So the i n d u s t r y got t o g e t h e r and s a i d "OK, we've got t o t a k e the l e a d i n t h i s , " and t h i s i s what we've done. T r y i n g t o c o n v i n c e the government t h a t a program of t h i s n a t u r e i s what's needed was the t o u g h e s t p a r t o f the whole t h i n g . I t has always been the m i n i s t r i e s and the government t h a t d i c t a t e d how i t was g o i n g work, and we j u s t went a l o n g w i t h i t , but a f t e r t h r e e y e a r s o f s u c c e s s , we went back and s a i d , "We're g o i n g t o c a l l t h e s h o t s now." And t h e y bought i n t o i t and the p a r t n e r s h i p has been a tremendous s u c c e s s , so much so t h a t v i r t u a l l y e v e r y p r o v i n c e i n Canada and some s t a t e s i n the US are l o o k i n g a t the su c c e s s o f t h i s program. JOANNA What do you t h i n k i s the fundamental s u c c e s s f u l i n g r e d i e n t t h e r e ? I s i t c u r r i c u l u m i t s e l f ? MURRAY No, not n e c e s s a r i l y . I t h i n k i t ' s t h e w o r k i n g r e l a t i o n s h i p t h a t we have d e v e l o p e d w i t h employers, q u i t e f r a n k l y . And h a v i n g a c l i e n t base t h a t i s j o b ready, t o some degree and h a v i n g employers t h a t are w i l l i n g t o t a k e p e o p l e on even i f t h e y need a d d i t i o n a l t r a i n i n g . The i n d u s t r y i t s e l f , t he employers t h e m s e l v e s , have r e c o g n i z e d what the needs a r e , so t h e y t a k e p e o p l e l i k e o u r s e l v e s , who -- between o u r s e l v e s i n t h i s o f f i c e we p r o b a b l y — have at l e a s t 20 year s o f e x p e r i e n c e i n the i n d u s t r y . We know what employers need, we have a l l done a l o t of h i r i n g , a l o t o f i n t e r v i e w i n g , and we are a b l e t o go t o t h e employers and save them time and money. Rath e r t h a n them have 100 resumes a c r o s s t h e i r desks, we do a l l t h e s c r e e n i n g and send them the p e o p l e we t h i n k a r e g o i n g t o work. So t h e i n d u s t r y has bought i n t o i t . But i t was a tough one t o c o n v i n c e the employers t o t r u s t us. I t t a k e s time f o r t h e employers t o know us and t o t r u s t us. * * * [Conversations f o r Understanding! JOANNA Murdock, you mentioned e a r l i e r how c o n v e r s a t i o n s w i t h u n i v e r s i t y f a c u l t y were so i m p o r t a n t t o h e l p i n g them f o c u s t h e i r p a r t i c u l a r e x p e r t i s e i n a way t h a t i s g o i n g t o h e l p the k i n d s o f l e a r n e r s t h a t you are i n t e r e s t e d i n p r o v i d i n g programs f o r . Can you say more about t h i s ? MURDOCK One of t h e c h a l l e n g e s i n t h e s e k i n d s o f c o n v e r s a t i o n s i s m a i n t a i n i n g a k i n d o f b a l a n c e between t h e needs and i n t e r e s t s o f the l e a r n e r s , t h e i r employers i n many c a s e s , and the c u r r i c u l u m . I v e r y s t r o n g l y r e s i s t t he n o t i o n i n u n i v e r s i t i e s t h a t you can j u s t d e v e l o p c u r r i c u l u m f o r a d u l t s by f o c u s i n g on the e p i s t e m o l o g y o f t h e d i s c i p l i n e and t h a t i s the way the c u r r i c u l u m i s d e v e l o p e d w i t h i n t h a t department. On the o t h e r hand, the i d e a t h a t you can j u s t pay a t t e n t i o n t o the l e a r n e r ' s needs s t r i k e s me as b e i n g s i l l y a l s o . So i t ' s i n the s p i r i t of b a l a n c e , o f p u t t i n g t h e s e two t h i n g s t o g e t h e r , but t h e r e i s a l s o something t h a t a c l o s e f r i e n d and v e r y e x p e r i e n c e d c o l l e a g u e o f mine t a u g h t me here a t the u n i v e r s i t y . You need t o go i n t o t h e s e e d u c a t i o n a l o p p o r t u n i t i e s w i t h a huge sense of p o s s i b i l i t y about what you are t r y i n g t o c r e a t e . A sense o f p o s s i b i l i t y w i t h i n t he program, f o r the i n d i v i d u a l s , and I t h i n k t h a t ' s v e r y i m p o r t a n t . JOANNA So o f t e n t h e program or t h e cou r s e i s something t h a t doesn't y e t e x i s t and you have t o c r e a t e i t . I t ' s l i k e J e n n i f e r w a l k i n g i n t o her s t u d i o o r Murray and h i s c o l l e a g u e s r e a d i n g the r e p o r t on the h o s p i t a l i t y i n d u s t r y and s a y i n g , "We've got t o do something." I t ' s about s e e i n g the p o s s i b i l i t i e s and t h e n a c t i n g on them. MURDOCK In t h i s case, t h e i s s u e of f i g u r i n g out a c u r r i c u l u m - how d i r e c t one can be w i t h e d u c a t i o n a l a c t i v i t i e s - i s r e a l l y i m p o r t a n t . A l o t of p e o p l e who are not e d u c a t o r s but who are i n v o l v e d i n t r a i n i n g have t h i s n o t i o n t h a t you have t o w r i t e the specs f o r what you want, say, i n terms of c o r e competencies; t h a t an i n d i v i d u a l needs t o f u l f i l l a c e r t a i n r o l e and you s h o u l d be a b l e t o w r i t e the specs f o r t h a t . Then the e d u c a t o r ' s j o b i s t o d e s i g n a program t o t a k e p e o p l e from wherever t h e y are t o meet t h o s e s p e c s . But t h a t ' s not the way i t works. There's q u i t e a b i t of worth i t seems t o me, i n w o r k i n g between t h a t n o t i o n and t h e n o t i o n t h a t t y p i c a l l y g u i d e s the work i n the u n i v e r s i t i e s which i s t h a t you don't worry about what p e o p l e are g o i n g t o do, you t e a c h them the t r a d i t i o n s and t h e n t h e y ' l l adapt themselves t o what e v e r s i t u a t i o n ; t h e y ' l l f i g u r e i t o u t . T h i s i s t o o i n d i r e c t , I t h i n k . There i s the p o s s i b i l i t y t h a t t h i s approach i s used as an excuse f o r f a i l i n g t o t h i n k v e r y s e r i o u s l y about what i t i s t h a t everybody needs out of the s i t u a t i o n . For p e o p l e i n c o n t i n u i n g e d u c a t i o n i n u n i v e r s i t i e s , at some p o i n t you have t o l e a r n t h a t f a c u l t y members are e x p e r t s i n t h e i r f i e l d s and t h e y are v e r y b r i g h t - t h e y don't get t h e r e w i t h o u t b e i n g v e r y b r i g h t - and t h e y are the a u t h o r i t i e s i n the s u b j e c t areas t h a t t h e y ' r e i n . I f you're f i g h t i n g a g a i n s t t h a t or f i n d i n g t h a t an impediment t o d o i n g the k i n d of programming t h a t you want t o do t h e n you p r o b a b l y s h o u l d n ' t be w o r k i n g i n the u n i v e r s i t y . On the o t h e r hand, many f a c u l t y members are not r e a l l y i n t o u c h w i t h the n o n - t r a d i t i o n a l a d u l t l e a r n e r s i n u n i v e r s i t i e s t h a t we have t o s e r v e . That's not a p r i m a r y k i n d of f o c u s o f t h e i r s and t h e y need h e l p i n t h i n k i n g t h a t t h r o u g h . So t h a t i s a s p e c i a l r o l e f o r p e o p l e who are u n i v e r s i t y - b a s e d c o n t i n u i n g e d u c a t o r s . But i f you're g o i n g t o do exemplary work i n t h i s f i e l d t h e n you have t o know how t o work w i t h academics and d e f e r t o them when i t comes t o c e r t a i n k i n d s o f academic judgments, w h i l e s t e e r i n g them and s t i l l h e l p i n g them see o t h e r t h i n g s t h a t t h e y might not know a n y t h i n g about o r t h e y may not be used t o t h i n k i n g about. JOANNA Can you t h i n k o f a p a r t i c u l a r i n s t a n c e ? MURDOCK The whole i s s u e of math i s v e r y i n t e r e s t i n g t o me. People who go i n t o t h e s e k i n d s o f degree c o m p l e t i o n programs are g o i n g t o end up ne e d i n g some k i n d of m a n a g e r i a l a c c o u n t i n g and f i n a n c e , f o r which t h e y need a c e r t a i n amount o f math. A l o t o f p e o p l e coming i n t o t h e s e programs don't have much math, or i f t h e y do, t h e y d i d i t a l o n g , l o n g time ago. And so the c h a l l e n g e i s w o r k i n g out what k i n d o f a math co u r s e p e o p l e would have t o have i n o r d e r t o do f i n a n c e . I wouldn't even u n d e r s t a n d a l l the math m y s e l f but I would ask q u e s t i o n s t h a t h e l p me t a l k w i t h the p e o p l e i n the math department, who w i t h o u t t h i s k i n d o f i n f o r m a t i o n from me, p r o b a b l y wouldn't know where t o s t a r t . JOANNA So the c o n v e r s a t i o n i s n e c e s s a r y t o f i g u r e out what t h e "need" i s , what the r i g h t l e v e l s h o u l d be? MURDOCK R i g h t . We have a v e r y i n t e r e s t e d math department but f i n d i n g t he r i g h t p e o p l e who want t o respond t o t h a t and then w o r k i n g w i t h them, t a i l o r i n g a math c o u r s e u n t i l you s t a r t t o get i t r i g h t , i s an i n t e r e s t i n g p r o c e s s . JOANNA There a r e t h e s e two d i f f e r e n t w o r l d s and your t a s k i s t o b r i n g them t o g e t h e r . MURDOCK W e l l , I t h i n k t h e ' u n i v e r s i t y i s , i n my view, t o o skewed over t o one s i d e o f t h i s . When you t a l k about l e a d e r s h i p one o f t h e t h i n g s t h a t has t o happen i s somebody has t o l e a d the u n i v e r s i t y t o see t h e v a r i e t y o f s i t u a t i o n s i n which p e o p l e need t o l e a r n . JOANNA And y e t t h a t l e a d e r s h i p has t o happen a t a l o t o f d i f f e r e n t l e v e l s . T mean, from where you're p o s i t i o n e d t h e r e i s o n l y so much you can do... MURDOCK That's t r u e i t does have t o happen a t q u i t e a number of l e v e l s and some of i t has t o happen e x t e r n a l l y - the u n i v e r s i t y g e t s pushed t o do t h i n g s . JOANNA The demand f o r some k i n d o f a response comes from o u t s i d e ? MURDOCK W e l l PLA ( p r i o r l e a r n i n g assessment) i s an example o f t h i s . PLA i s j u s t a b i g p a i n as f a r as most academic i n s t i t u t i o n s a r e concerned and i n f a c t many companies f i n d i t a p a i n t o o . They f i n d i t cumbersome and awkward and nobody r e a l l y knows how t o do i t . But on the o t h e r hand, t h e r e has t o be a way f o r i n d i v i d u a l s t o have a c c e s s t o h i g h e r e d u c a t i o n so t h a t t h e y don't have t o s t a r t back a t square one. I f t h e y have l e a r n e d a l o t t h r o u g h a c o m b i n a t i o n o f e d u c a t i o n and work, and a l l our e x p e r i e n c e says t h a t p e o p l e who have been out t h e r e w o r k i n g f o r a w h i l e have l e a r n e d a l l k i n d s o f s t u f f , but i t ' s h a r d t o t r a n s l a t e one-to-one what i t i s and what i t means. The f a c t o f the m a t t e r i s t h a t most p e o p l e w i t h a background o f w o r k i n g as a p r o f e s s i o n a l f o r many ye a r s can walk i n t o t h i r d and f o u r t h year u n i v e r s i t y and cope v e r y w e l l . They can walk i n t o a graduate c o u r s e and do p e r f e c t l y w e l l , a f t e r h a v i n g a two-year u n d e r g r a d u a t e program at a t e c h n i c a l i n s t i t u t e , f o r i n s t a n c e . [Standing Up f o r Dance) JENNIFER I'm on a committee f o r S a f e t y and H e a l t h f o r t h e P e r f o r m i n g A r t s and E n t e r t a i n m e n t , s e t up by the Worker's Compensation Board. I t has t a k e n me two y e a r s of b e i n g on t h i s committee t o u n d e r s t a n d why so many t h i n g s f e e l askew. There i s an u n d e r l y i n g c o n f u s i o n from p e o p l e on the Board about why anybody would want t o be d o i n g t h i s anyway, why would anybody want t o be a dancer. " I t ' s o b v i o u s l y such a r i s k y b u s i n e s s , and you're g o i n g t o get i n j u r e d , and you work so hard, and you don't make much money, so why would you do i t ? " The e d u c a t i o n i s c o n t i n u a l . What we do, why we l o v e i t , and why i t ' s i m p o r t a n t t o s o c i e t y . W e l l , you might remember t h a t i t came up i n the l a s t e l e c t i o n when t h e A l l i a n c e P a r t y got the t i t l e s from the Canada C o u n c i l o f p e o p l e s ' a r t w o r k and t h e y put them i n the paper and the t i t l e s were not l i k e Opus 4, o r Beethoven's Symphony.... They were s a y i n g t o t he v o t e r s "Do you want t h e government t o use your money t o f u n d something t h a t ' s c a l l e d "Sweet as a Cat's A s s " or something l i k e t h a t ? JOANNA So t h e y are mocking i t ? JENNIFER They are mocking and b e l i t t l i n g i t and t h e r e i s an i n h e r e n t i g n o r a n c e and l a c k o f r e s p e c t f o r somebody i n dance t h a t i s t y p i c a l l y v e r y N o r t h American. Because when I l i v e d i n France and you say you work i n dance, t h e y say a d m i r i n g l y , "You do!" Here, you c l i m b i n t o a t a x i and you say you work i n dance and t h e y t h i n k you're a s t r i p p e r . S t i l l . T h i s committee work i s an example of somewhere where I have t o r e a l l y , r e a l l y f i g h t f o r dance and I have had t o f i n d as many d i f f e r e n t ways as p o s s i b l e t o e x p l a i n why p e o p l e do t h i s and t h a t t h e y do t h i s because t h e y l o v e i t and because i t c o n t r i b u t e s t o s o c i e t y i n i m p o r t a n t ways. JOANNA There seems t o be t h i s g r e a t need t o a r t i c u l a t e what your i n t e n t i o n s a r e , t o c o n v i n c e and persuade and b r i n g o t h e r s a l o n g . Working on t h i s a d v i s o r y committee has f o r c e d you, i n a sense; t o defend and e x p l a i n the r e a s o n p e o p l e dance i n the f i r s t p l a c e . To j u s t i f y why we need dance i n s o c i e t y . Not j u s t your program, but dance i n g e n e r a l . JENNIFER I don't t h i n k t h a t ' s unique t o dance. But, as I s a i d , the e d u c a t i o n i s c e a s e l e s s w i t h each new p r o j e c t . I have t o c o n v i n c e the dancers t h a t t h i s dance i s worth d o i n g . I have t o c o n v i n c e my dance company manager t h a t t h i s i d e a i s worth d o i n g . I have t o t a l k t o you about dance so t h a t you know more about dance a t the end. I t f e e l s l i k e i t never s t o p s . And a s i d e from a l l t h i s t a l k you cannot assume t h a t somebody e l s e from the form t h a t comes t o see t h e work w i l l u n d e r s t a n d what you are d o i n g . * * * I J u s t Want Your Success JOANNA Pamela, does a s i t u a t i o n come t o mind where you had t o n e g o t i a t e among competing i n t e r e s t s or t o i n t e r v e n e i n a d i f f i c u l t s i t u a t i o n ? PAMELA P r o b a b l y the most common problem I e n c o u n t e r i s i n c l a s s r o o m dynamics where c e r t a i n i n d i v i d u a l s a re i n s e n s i t i v e t o t h e i r own impact on t h e whole c l a s s r o o m . Perhaps t h e y are d o m i n a t i n g o r a r g u m e n t a t i v e w i t h o t h e r s , and my c h a l l e n g e i s b e i n g a b l e t o i n t e r v e n e , q u i c k l y , b e f o r e i t e s t a b l i s h e s a p a t t e r n . Sometimes I don't i n t e r v e n e q u i c k l y enough. I w a i t f o r a w h i l e h o p i n g t h a t t h e p e r s o n b e g i n s t o n o t i c e . I u s u a l l y work w i t h t h e group i n t h e f i r s t days of a c o u r s e t o c r e a t e c l a s s r o o m agreements. S i m p l y a s k i n g "What do you need here t o make-th e s e c l a s s e s work f o r you?" "What k i n d of environment h e l p s you l e a r n ? " "What c o u l d we s e t up as r u l e s or agreements t h a t w i l l h e l p ? " And t h a t u s u a l l y works r e a l l y w e l l t o be a b l e t o r e f e r t o l a t e r . But even g o i n g t h r o u g h t h e c l a s s r o o m agreements or ground r u l e s e x e r c i s e i s n ' t enough f o r some i n d i v i d u a l s t o break out of a p a t t e r n . Most p e o p l e I work w i t h are between 30 and 60 y e a r s o l d , so I have p e o p l e who've f u n c t i o n e d i n groups i n a c e r t a i n way f o r a l o n g t i m e . JOANNA Can you t h i n k of a p a r t i c u l a r i n c i d e n t ? PAMELA Oh yeah, j u s t l a s t month a man i n my i n s t r u c t i o n a l s k i l l s workshop was d r i v i n g some pe o p l e i n the group n u t s . I s t a r t e d g e t t i n g notes and p e o p l e coming up t o me i n c l a s s s a y i n g , "Do something about t h a t man." JOANNA Why, what was he doing? PAMELA W e l l , he was s p e a k i n g up more th a n h i s s h a r e , d o m i n a t i n g the c l a s s r o o m w i t h s t o r i e s of h i s e x p e r i e n c e and examples t o g i v e , and q u e s t i o n s t o ask, and comments on o t h e r p e o p l e ' s comments. He r e f u s e d t o p a r t i c i p a t e i n one of the a c t i v i t i e s and t h e n was i n on the d e b r i e f and had o p i n i o n s about how i t a l l worked. I t r i e d e v e r y t h i n g . I p u l l e d e v e r y t r i c k I had out i n terms of s a y i n g "Thank you v e r y much, a p p r e c i a t e your comments, l e t ' s hear from somebody e l s e " ; t o "Can you h o l d t h a t t h o u g h t , o t h e r p e o p l e haven't had a chance." F i n a l l y I asked him t o come i n e a r l y so I c o u l d t a l k t o him. I was nervous about t h a t . I wasn't r e a l l y s u r e what I was g o i n g t o say. I even p r a c t i c e d a l i t t l e b i t w i t h somebody I was w i t h the n i g h t b e f o r e ; r u n n i n g t h r o u g h p o s s i b l e ways I might handle i t . What I ended up s a y i n g t o him was r e m i n d i n g him t h a t I wanted h i s s u c c e s s and t h a t I wondered i f he knew t h e impact he had on p e o p l e i n the group. And i t a c t u a l l y worked f o r a w h i l e , f o r t h e d u r a t i o n o f our c l a s s , which was a 30-hour program ( t h i s o c c u r r e d around the 20th h o u r ) . I f e l t t h a t i t d e f i n i t e l y improved. I know i t f e l t b e t t e r f o r me because at l e a s t I had r e a l l y a d d r e s s e d i t head on. I t h i n k h i s b e h a v i o u r d i d improve i n the c l a s s r o o m ; however, the pe o p l e who s t u c k w i t h the program s a i d t h a t he had k i n d o f r e v e r t e d t o h i s o l d ways. I mean he's a 55-year man and i t ' s p r e t t y h a r d t o change p a t t e r n s o v e r n i g h t and he had a l l k i n d s o f i s s u e s . JOANNA What d i d he say when you t a l k e d t o him? PAMELA He s t a r t e d t o defe n d h i m s e l f , o r g i v e e x c u s e s , and I t r i e d t o p o i n t out t h a t the impact of h i s way of b e i n g was s h u t t i n g p e o p l e out and t h a t f o r whatever r e a s o n he was a c t i n g l i k e t h a t he needed t o know what the outcome was. By the end of the c o n v e r s a t i o n , he seemed t o a c c e p t t h e n o t i o n and say, " W e l l , I ' l l pay more a t t e n t i o n t o t h a t . " H i s a u t o m a t i c response was t o defend why he was d o i n g t h a t . And then l a t e r he began t o t h i n k "OK" when he r e a l i z e d t h a t I d i d n ' t want t o a t t a c k , i t was j u s t t o h e l p . So I kept e n c o u r a g i n g him t h a t we j u s t wanted t o change t h i n g s f o r h i s s u c c e s s because he was g o i n g t o run i n t o problems w i t h t h i s b e h a v i o u r . JOANNA But you were nervous o f t h i s c o n v e r s a t i o n ? PAMELA Yes . JOANNA That reminds me of a time when I was l e a d i n g a d i s c u s s i o n a t a s e n i o r s ' w r i t i n g c l a s s and t h e r e was one man i n the group who c o n t i n u o u s l y i n t e r r u p t e d my v e r y b r i e f opening p r e s e n t a t i o n . I t r e a l l y threw me o f f and I t r i e d t o a d j u s t what I was s a y i n g , even though I c o u l d see t h a t o t h e r s seemed t o be engaged. Sometimes i t ' s the most v o c a l p e r s o n who draws your a t t e n t i o n . PAMELA E x a c t l y . The squeaky wheel. When I t e a c h I use a l o t of w r i t t e n feedback; I r e q u e s t w r i t t e n feedback, what I c a l l t he speedy memo. "What d i d you f i n d w o r t h w h i l e , what's not so w o r t h w h i l e , what o t h e r comments do you have?" I have found t h a t I can ' t t r u s t j u s t r e a d i n g f a c e s . There's t o o much g o i n g on i n p e o p l e ' s l i v e s and t h e r e a re a l s o t h e faca d e s p e o p l e wear. So I f i n d t h a t the w r i t t e n feedback g i v e s p e o p l e t h e o p p o r t u n i t y t o say, "Somebody i s bugging me." " I'm c o n f u s e d . " "I'm b o r e d . " " T h i s i s p e r f e c t . " What ever t h e y have t o say. JOANNA You're not s e c o n d - g u e s s i n g . PAMELA That h e l p s a l o t . So when I get t h o s e q u i e t p e o p l e and God knows what's g o i n g on w i t h them, I have a b e t t e r i d e a w i t h them t o o . JOANNA That's r i g h t . You have been d o i n g t h i s f o r a l o n g t i m e . PAMELA I have. JOANNA You come w i t h a l o t o f a u t h o r i t y . Leading Meaning Making Conversations Creating the conditions for genuine conversation is central to educational leadership. Conversation is the place where leadership and education encounter each other most directly. As Murdock's stories reflect, conversations played a central role in establishing a new degree completion program with people in the organization who would go on to champion the program. Conversations were central to negotiating the contents of the math curriculum with willing and interested faculty, and they figure prominently in his consulting and advising management of a smelter operation on training and educational approaches for the organization. Murray emphasized through his stories about the social assistance-hospitality industry program how necessary it was to meet time after time with the ministry and the employers to establish a firm partnership and build trust among the partners. Meetings, and the conversations that took place in them, seemed to be accorded much greater importance for the program's success than the program curriculum. Arguments for establishing and sustaining the ongoing implementation of the social assistance-hospitality industry program were developed from hospitality sector research, from documented outcomes of the initial pilot project, and the personal stories of individuals who were able to find and keep work as a result of this program. In Jennifer's story of being part of a Worker's Compensation Committee for Health and Safety in the Arts, I detect more than a little weariness when she talks about the unrelenting need for 129 conversations wi th many diverse audiences (i.e., the sponsors, patrons, educators, dancers, peers, funders, and regulators) to persuade and convince them for the sake o f having them understand dance. Endless conversations, it seems to her, are needed wi th the administrator o f her dance company, w i th her dancers and other creative collaborators, and wi th the publ ic about the value o f dance wi th in a sceptical and cyn ica l environment. Conceptua l ized as acts o f leadership that frame and shape the context (Goffman, 1974) o f the role o f dance in society, such conversations create a point o f reference for others' understanding and action. Related to this notion is Forester 's (1989) observation that by understanding conversation as an approach to p lanning it shifts the emphasis f rom a search for the solution to a problem to a process o f making meaning together. Conversa t ion as meaning mak ing is a frame that a l lows room for l i v i n g wi th ambigui ty and complex i ty whi le w o r k i n g through to understanding the issues and problems at hand. Unders tanding genuine conversation as a fo rm o f educational leadership shapes, in important ways , the mindscape o f the educator. Conversat ions understood as meaning mak ing as distinct f rom problem so lv ing w o u l d perhaps make Jennifer 's committee experience less wearing. T h i s k ind o f understanding seems expressed in M u r d o c k ' s example o f w o r k i n g wi th the math department at the universi ty to develop a course for professionals in a universi ty degree comple t ion program. H i s story illustrates the importance o f respect for the expertise o f others but also recognizes the gaps in understanding that exist and the role o f the educational planner, in this instance, to bridge these worlds . Understanding educational leadership as ini t ia t ing and sustaining conversations where meaning is created about what ought to be done may be a powerful mindscape, but 130 it is not s imple. In a one-to-one conversation, in the c lassroom, in a program planning meeting wi th colleagues, in a p o l i c y m a k i n g or program evaluat ion process - regardless o f the setting - these dialogues require thoughtful speaking and l is tening among all parties. Lamber t (1995) suggests that much depends on being conscious o f one 's language choices. Conversat ional moves and choices enhance a conversational leader's capacity to facilitate conversations. " A s k i n g questions and rephrasing ideas helps others create c o m m o n maps f rom w h i c h to act" (Lambert , 1995, p. 105). M o s t meetings or encounters, in my experience i n education planning, tend to be places where indiv iduals articulate their o w n views but learn litt le f rom one another (Senge, 1990). Get t ing a group o f people wi th diverse interests to actually inquire into the issue at hand rather than s imply advocate for their o w n posi t ion is a key challenge o f all educational leaders, no matter what the setting or situation. The goal is to f ind the best argument or to f ind the best understandings through a balance o f paraphrasing, inqui r ing , and art iculating ideas. 1 1 Framing and shaping the conversat ion, as Jennifer illustrates in her story, Naming the Dance, is action that requires more than a talent for language and an awareness o f the What are the linguistic approaches that enable us to facilitate dialogic, inquiring, sustaining, and partnering conversations? Linguistic moves include: Questioning and paraphrasing are important tools because they establish focus (conceptualize experience) and are reciprocal. To further the meaning making process, these moves must be used with the desire to understand or deepen the conceptual field. In other words only asking questions based on your own perspective or only making comments that reflect your own opinion is advocacy. The way that leaders frame questions can limit or enhance others ability to construct meaning and act...A broad question will require participants to spend time talking. Questions that are too narrow fragment the group into positions. Failing to frame meaningful questions confuses the process. Rhetorical questions are based on a desired response. It is used when a speaker does not expect an answer nor has a predetermined answer. This includes questions with imbedded commands "don't you think we should...?" and can cause groups to adopt defensive postures. The categorical questions - is one that limits the range of responses to specific categories: 'What' - asks for a label, 'Where' asks for a place, and a 'why' asks for a justification. These questions are good for gathering specific data, clarification or to find out more about persons' knowledge. They are only a small part of the process of conversation. Cross-categorical questions search for meaning by generating new contexts or reframing the group focus. For example asking: What kind of vacations do you enjoy most (places, activities, types of travel)? Or "How did you come to that conclusion? (Data, hunches, decisions, plans)?" These kinds of questions amplify the meaning that has been created by the group. Questions that amplify feedback are essential tools for building constructivist conversations (Lambert, 1995). 131 f lu id i ty o f meaning. A t the heart o f this story is a complex understanding o f the enmeshed ends and means invo lved in creating something new. T o name the dance means to place a frame around it, to give it some structure, albeit temporari ly. Such structure is needed i f others are to engage wi th educators in planning or designing programs, for example. In this way , the intentional use o f language and conceptual maps imbue an educator w i th power to name and construct understandings o f "real i ty ." Regardless o f setting or posit ion educators have some power to define action. T h i s power is used in a number o f ways in these stories - in conversation wi th a student, a peer, or a minis t ry po l i cy analyst. T h e y al l invo lve , in vary ing degrees, engaging people in mak ing meaning about their l ives and what they are doing. Pamela recalls in her encounter wi th the "dis rupt ive" student that she needed t ime to figure out what to say and how to say it. T h i s i nvo lved rehearsing and planning how to frame the conversation. " W h a t I ended up saying to h i m was reminding h i m . . . that I wanted his success and that I wondered i f knew the impact he had on people in the group." She posed questions for h i m to reflect on and to pay attention to and in so do ing initiated a reflective conversat ion. She communica ted care but also chal lenged h i m to become responsible for his actions. In this way , everyday acts o f educational leadership invo lve creating certain genuine conversations, uncover ing confl icts , and quest ioning assumptions. A s the professor w h o introduced me to the notion that teaching is leading suggests, " W h a t y o u pay attention to, is what others w i l l pay attention to." A n d as the eminent educational leader M a x i n e Greene so articulately states, the role o f the educational leader is to forge c o m m o n direct ion under condit ions o f diversi ty. These s imple statements frame a complex terrain. 132 Sometimes the only way to learn about what to do in a g iven instance is through the give and take o f genuine conversation. Fo r example: Y o u talk to me. I l isten. I create a space for your story. I wonder at its meaning. I notice how y o u interpret it. W e deliberate together. Perhaps our col lec t ive understanding is enlarged. So often, in the everyday practice o f education, as some o f the co-narrators' stories point to, such conversations are miss ing and we end up isolated and alone. In such a state it becomes diff icul t to learn. |Freedom and L o n e l i n e s s | JOANNA Do you remember a time when you d i d n ' t n e c e s s a r i l y f e e l s ure about what t o do? PAMELA Oh yeah. My c o n f i d e n c e i n t h i s j o b has i n c r e a s e d a l o t over the y e a r s from g e t t i n g t h r o u g h a l l k i n d s o f problems and s i t u a t i o n s , wrenches b e i n g thrown i n , u n e xpected t u r n s , j u s t g e t t i n g t h r o u g h i t , b a s i c a l l y , s u c c e s s f u l l y . Sometimes I ' l l t u r n t o p e o p l e and ask them f o r s u g g e s t i o n s . And you know t e a c h i n g i s a l o n e l y b u s i n e s s . I go i n t o my c l a s s e s and.... W e l l i t ' s a double-edged sword. There i s p a r t of i t t h a t I l o v e , c l o s e t he door and do whatever I want, but on the o t h e r hand when I run i n t o t h i n g s I'm c o n f u s e d about or t h i n g s don't seem t o be go i n g v e r y w e l l , i t ' s h a r d t o know who t o t u r n t o , e s p e c i a l l y when, as a c o n t r a c t t e a c h e r , I j u s t go i n t o t he c o l l e g e , do my t h i n g and t h e n I'm gone. I f e e l way more c o n f i d e n t j u s t h a v i n g s o l v e d problems a l o n g t h e way. I t r u s t t h a t I can f i g u r e out a n y t h i n g a t t h i s p o i n t , JOANNA Was t h e r e anytime when you were j u s t a t a loss...? 1 3 3 p r c h e s t r a t i n g D i v e r s i t y ! PAMELA (Laughs) One time I remember d o i n g one of t h o s e c o n t i n u i n g e d u c a t i o n workshops and I d i d a needs assessment a t t h e b e g i n n i n g . I had about 20 e d u c a t o r s , c o n t i n u i n g e d u c a t i o n t e a c h e r s who t e a c h e v e r y t h i n g from economics, t o b u i l d i n g maintenance, t o Mandarin. I t ' s a l l over the p l a c e . Some of them haven't t a u g h t a c l a s s y e t ; o t h e r s have been a t i t f o r 25 y e a r s . So the range o f e x p e r i e n c e i s tremendous. I c a n ' t remember what the s u b j e c t o f the workshop was, but I d i d a q u i c k c i r c l e r e s p o n s e , a s k i n g them what t h e y were a f t e r , what had brought them t o t h i s workshop. And I a c t u a l l y q u i c k l y wrote t h e s e responses on the bo a r d . By the time I got t o t h e end of the group t h e bo a r d was c o v e r e d w i t h d i f f e r e n t i d e a s . I was a b s o l u t e l y a t a l o s s as t o where t o go. JOANNA I t was g r e a t t o get t h e i r feedback, but... PAMELA Whoa! (Laughs) JOANNA But how d i d you respond? PAMELA I a c t u a l l y asked i f anybody saw a theme or a p a t t e r n o r ' c o u l d make sense o f what was up t h e r e . And p e o p l e d i d , and I remember we k i n d o f p u l l e d i t o f f , but i t too k way t o o much time and t h e r e was t o o much i n f o r m a t i o n . JOANNA So you don't do t h a t now? PAMELA I have l e a r n e d t o g i v e some o p t i o n s . "Here i s what we're c o v e r i n g , what would you l i k e t o add?" Or "What i s most i m p o r t a n t t o you?" To k i n d o f fo c u s i t a b i t . JOANNA W e l l , i t can be tough t h i n k i n g on your f e e t w i t h everybody w a i t i n g and w a t c h i n g . You're the e x p e r t and you're t o t e l l e verybody what t o do. PAMELA P u l l i t t o g e t h e r and keep the seamless flow... JOANNA You don't want t o l o o k t o o r u f f l e d o r c o n f u s e d . PAMELA Yeah. I t ' s r e a l l y m u l t i t a s k i n g i n p u b l i c . Because you a r e , a l l a t the same t i m e , o r c h e s t r a t i n g some event and m o n i t o r i n g the response, and t h i n k i n g about which p a t h t o t a k e from h e r e . So even though I f e e l c o n f i d e n t t h a t I can handle whatever comes up now, i t ' s not easy. I t ' s s t i l l not easy. I've even been t h i n k i n g about g o i n g back t o n u r s i n g because t h e r e i s p a r t o f me t h a t i s t i r e d o f t h e amount of p r e p a r a t i o n and t h e i n t e n s i t y o f the e x p e r i e n c e o f o r c h e s t r a t i n g , t h a t ' s how I t h i n k about i t , o r c h e s t r a t i n g 20 b r i g h t p e o p l e , b r i g h t and demanding and... JOANNA ...creating something t h a t wasn't t h e r e b e f o r e . PAMELA E x a c t l y . I am v e r y outcome o r i e n t e d and I want something good and i m p o r t a n t t o come out of e v e r y c l a s s , something m e a n i n g f u l so t h a t p e o p l e f e e l t h e y a re t a k i n g a s t e p somewhere. JOANNA What do pe o p l e - t h e a d u l t l e a r n e r s i n your workshops - say t o you about your approach t o t e a c h i n g and your l e a d e r s h i p ? PAMELA W e l l , t h e y say t h a t I know what I'm t a l k i n g about and t h a t I walk my t a l k . I t h i n k t h a t has r e a l l y been i m p o r t a n t t o me; I s t r i v e f o r t h a t . I don't mention t h e s e g o a l s of mine, so i t ' s a b i g a f f i r m a t i o n and'I a p p r e c i a t e i t v e r y much when p e o p l e comment on t h a t . And th e y do, q u i t e a b i t . JOANNA Walk your t a l k , i n ' t e r m s o f your own t e a c h i n g s t y l e r e f l e c t i n g what you t e a c h them about t e a c h i n g ? PAMELA That's r i g h t . I f e e l l i k e a bug under a p i n up t h e r e on the l a b w a l l . Here i t i s ( l a u g h i n g w i t h arms wide open). JOANNA They're l o o k i n g a t e v e r y t h i n g , c h e c k i n g e v e r y t h i n g out about you. PAMELA And o f c o u r s e , i n a t e a c h i n g s k i l l s c o u r s e I am t r y i n g t o model a c t i v i t i e s t h a t do e v e r y t h i n g we've s a i d needs t o be done i n o r d e r t o c r e a t e s u c c e s s f u l , . m o t i v a t i n g , c o n t e n t r i c h programming. So I t r y t o have a f l o w o f a c t i v i t i e s t h a t c r e a t e s an environment t h a t i s s a f e and c o m f o r t a b l e f o r l e a r n i n g and g e t s p e o p l e i n t o u c h w i t h what t h e y a l r e a d y know about the s u b j e c t m a t t e r . Then I get them t o r e f l e c t on how i t r e l a t e s t o t h e i r own l i f e . And t h e n I g i v e them i n f o r m a t i o n and some o p p o r t u n i t i e s t o p r a c t i c e what t h e y a r e l e a r n i n g and r e l a t e i t t o r e a l problems t h a t t h e y are e x p e r i e n c i n g . JOANNA So t h e y get a chance t o a c t u a l l y see how i t a l l works. PAMELA D e f i n i t e l y . That's what I mean by w a l k i n g my t a l k . M o d e l i n g a d u l t e d u c a t i o n . And t h e y get a chance t o see how good i n t e r a c t i v e , p e r s o n a l l y r e l e v a n t e d u c a t i o n ought t o f e e l and l o o k . JOANNA Do you share t h e i n n e r s t r u g g l e s you may have w i t h the l e a r n e r s i n your c o u r s e ? For example, t h e nervousness you may f e e l about i n t e r v e n i n g w i t h a " d i f f i c u l t " s t u d e n t ? PAMELA My i n t e n t i o n i n e d u c a t i o n l e a d e r s h i p i s t o show i n t e g r i t y between what I say and what I do, and I t r y t o do t h i s ' by b e i n g r e a l w i t h p e o p l e . Yet i n an e d u c a t i o n a l s e t t i n g I want t o be r e a l and I a l s o f e e l a r e s p o n s i b i l i t y t o model a h e l d t o g e t h e r approach. So funny, I f i n d m y s e l f t h i n k i n g about how might I share the s t r u g g l e s I would o r d i n a r i l y r e s e r v e f o r a d i a l o g u e c i r c l e w i t h my p e e r s ? When I am t e a c h i n g , my e d u c a t i o n a l l e a d e r s h i p i s more about s h a r i n g my s u c c e s s e s t h a t p e o p l e c o u l d model a f t e r . I t ' s i n t e r e s t i n g . . . I want t o model s u c c e s s e s and be r e a l about who I am. Yet the courage t o t e a c h and b e i n g r e a l i s about showing t h e c r a c k s . * * * [You Can't J u s t D r i v e Away| ANYA I r e c e n t l y had t o "walk my t a l k " about r e a l l y t a k i n g an i n t e r e s t i n my s t u d e n t s . JOANNA What happened? ANYA B a s i c a l l y I had been t e a c h i n g one n i g h t c l a s s and George, my c o l l e a g u e , was t e a c h i n g t h e o t h e r c l a s s . There are two co u r s e s happening and u s u a l l y a l o t of the s t u d e n t s c o n gregate on the r o o f t o p on the second f l o o r d u r i n g t h e b r e a k s . Many of them are from George's c l a s s and t h e y go o u t s i d e smoking c i g a r e t t e s . There was t h i s group - t h e y were a " c o o l " group, I d i d n ' t know them; t h e y were from George's c l a s s - and t h e r e was one female s t u d e n t t h a t I n o t i c e d w i t h a c o u p l e o f the o t h e r s t u d e n t s from t h a t c l a s s . About h a l f way t h r o u g h the semester I came i n t o work a t t h r e e o ' c l o c k i n the a f t e r n o o n and I saw t h i s same female s t u d e n t from t h e n i g h t group was p a s s i n g me i n the c o r r i d o r and she had her head t i l t e d down and away from me. So I r e a l l y l o o k e d a t her and the n I went back and l o o k e d a t her a g a i n w i t h o u t her s e e i n g me and n o t i c e d t h a t she was a l l b l a c k - e y e d . Her f a c e was b r u i s e d . So I went t o George and I t o l d him and he s a i d he knew about her and he d i d n ' t know what t o do. So I s a i d , " W e l l , you have t o go and t a l k t o her. She might want h e l p , you know?" " W e l l , " he s a i d , " I don't know how t o d e a l w i t h t h i s . " I s a i d , "Take her i n t o your o f f i c e and t a l k t o h e r . Deal w i t h t h i s ; ask her i f she needs h e l p . I s she OK? Whatever i s n e c e s s a r y . " So he d i d . And the n he came down and got me and s a i d , " I don't know what t o do, I don't know how much t o get i n v o l v e d . " I t t u r n s out t h a t her b o y f r i e n d had bea t e n her up badly-. He s a i d t o me, " W i l l you d e a l w i t h i t ? " and I s a i d , "Yes." I went up t o the o f f i c e and I - s a i d , "Donna, do you want t o t a l k t o me?" and she s a i d , "Yes" and she s t a r t e d t a l k i n g ; t e l l i n g me she had been raped and b a t t e r e d . She had been out d r i n k i n g w i t h t h i s one group from the a r t c l a s s and had not r e t u r n e d home u n t i l t he next morning and t h e guy was w a i t i n g f o r her and the n a whole s e r i e s of a s s a u l t s f o l l o w e d . T h i s happened on t h e F r i d a y and she c o u l d n ' t walk f o r two days. I t was on the Monday t h a t I saw h e r . She was s t i l l a l l b r u i s e d from i t . So we began t a l k i n g and b a s i c a l l y she was t o o s c a r e d t o go back. She was from O n t a r i o and d i d n ' t know where t o go, so she c a l l e d her f r i e n d . S u b s e q u e n t l y , I s a i d I would go around w i t h her i n the c a r and get her s t u f f . I c a l l e d t he p o l i c e and s a i d t h a t we wanted an e s c o r t . So we b a s i c a l l y d i d t h a t , and t h e p o l i c e o f f i c e r and m y s e l f s t a y e d o u t s i d e w h i l e she and a f r i e n d went i n and c l e a r e d out her s t u f f . She wasn't sure i f she wanted t o p r e s s - c h a r g e s . The p o l i c e m a n s a i d t o her, "Think about t h i s . Nobody can make you and most women don't do i t because t h e y a r e so s c a r e d . " For me, what I c a r e d about was t h a t she was out of t h a t apartment. Then a week a f t e r t he i n c i d e n t she s a i d she was go i n g t o p r e s s charges and would I w r i t e a r e p o r t and I so I d i d . The i n c i d e n t was w r i t t e n up as s e x u a l a s s a u l t and b a t t e r y . She was a c t u a l l y v e r y a f r a i d of t h o s e words. She was a f r a i d when she saw them w r i t t e n on paper. She j u s t thought o f h e r s e l f as b a t t e r e d and d i d n ' t want t o f a c e t he s e x u a l p a r t . When she saw t h a t he was charged w i t h s e x u a l a s s a u l t , i t f r i g h t e n e d h e r . JOANNA Because? ANYA I t was s e e i n g t he words. B a t t e r e d . Raped. Many women don't want t o admit i t . JOANNA Di d she t h i n k he would come a f t e r her? ANYA She thought she d e s e r v e d i t . She thought she d e s e r v e d i t and i t was h a r d f o r her t o admit t h a t she had been raped and s e x u a l l y b a t t e r e d . JOANNA You weren't her i n s t r u c t o r and t h e i n s t r u c t o r t h a t she had d i d n ' t f e e l t h a t i t was h i s r o l e t o get i n v o l v e d . How d i d you f e e l about g e t t i n g i n v o l v e d i n t h i s ? ANYA No problem a t a l l . No problem at a l l . B a s i c a l l y i f she'd t o l d us t o back o f f I'd have backed o f f . But she s a i d , I want h e l p , t h e n i t was no problem a t a l l . JOANNA T h i s s t r i k e s me as you r e a l l y g o i n g the d i s t a n c e . I wonder how many i n s t r u c t o r s would. ANYA I don't know, t o be honest. But I know t h a t p e o p l e have d e f i n i t e l y been t h e r e f o r me; t h e y have gone the d i s t a n c e on o t h e r o c c a s i o n s - d u r i n g my d i v o r c e and c h i l d c u s t o d y , and a l l o f t h a t . People go the d i s t a n c e . JOANNA So t h a t seemed n a t u r a l f o r you t o respond? ANYA Oh yes, t o t a l l y n a t u r a l . JOANNA You weren't a f r a i d ? ANYA W e l l we d i d know t h a t t h e r e were drugs i n v o l v e d . We knew t h e r e were guns i n v o l v e d . We knew t h e e x - b o y f r i e n d was from a tough a r e a and we knew t h a t he had come a f t e r a n o t h e r s t u d e n t because he thought t h a t h i s g i r l f r i e n d had been w i t h him - he charged a t him w i t h a gun and s h o t s were f i r e d . JOANNA What do you t h i n k o t h e r p e o p l e would say about how you ha n d l e d the s i t u a t i o n ? ANYA I h o n e s t l y don't know. Her mother d i d come out a f t e r w a r d s from O n t a r i o and thanked us. I do know t h a t t h i s s t u d e n t would p r o b a b l y do i t a g a i n . JOANNA You mean go t h r o u g h w i t h p r e s s i n g c h a r g e s ? ANYA Yes, I mean i t t a k e s a l o t o f courage t o charge somebody w i t h t h a t k i n d of a s s a u l t and the n g o i n g t h r o u g h w i t h i t . Knowing t h e r e a re drugs. Knowing t h e r e are guns and knowing you're on your own. So b a s i c a l l y I t h i n k she showed a l o t of courage and a l o t o f p e o p l e won't f o l l o w t h r o u g h w i t h the c r i m i n a l c h a r g e s . So r e a l l y , she gave me a l o t o f courage by her p e r s i s t i n g w i t h i t h e r s e l f and not b a c k i n g down. JOANNA I t wasn't a s i m p l e t h i n g t h a t she d i d . ANYA She had the courage i n the l o n g run. She had t h e courage t o come t o s c h o o l w i t h a b l a c k eye and f o r o t h e r s t o see t h i s . She had the courage t o say, "I'm a f r a i d and I don't want t o go back t h e r e . " Whereas he'd beat e n her b e f o r e and she'd gone back. But she drew the l i n e . She went t o t h e d o c t o r and she d i d the whole t h i n g . She showed a l o t o f courage i n r e a c h i n g out f o r h e l p . JOANNA' She was l u c k y t h a t you stoppe d t h a t day. ANYA W e l l - - I guess... She d i d charge him w i t h a s s a u l t and the whole p r o c e s s t o o k a ye a r t o come t o t r i a l . She was s c a r e d on a number of o c c a s i o n s i n t h a t y e a r , but she kept w i t h i t . In t h e end, the guy s e t t l e d . He p l e a d e d g u i l t y and got a l e s s e r s e ntence and she f e l t v e r y v i n d i c a t e d by the whole t h i n g . * * * |Speaking Up and R e d i r e c t i n g t he Conversation] JOANNA Jane, you t a k e a v e r y low key approach, c o n f i d e n t , but q u i e t . But have t h e r e been ti m e s when you needed courage t o speak up or t a k e a c t i o n ? JANE There i s t h i s department w i t h i n our o r g a n i z a t i o n c a l l e d t he Wage S u b s i d y Group and a l l our c l i e n t s have t o come t h r o u g h us b e f o r e t h e y get t o Wage S u b s i d y Group and t h e y t a k e a resume w i t h them. W e l l , not t h a t l o n g ago some of the t r a i n e r s from the Wage S u b s i d y Program d e c i d e d t h e y wanted a l l i n c o m i n g c l i e n t s t o have a s k i l l - b a s e d resume. T h i s i s f i n e . So t h i s v e r y young t r a i n e r came i n on F r i d a y w i t h an o l d e r , q u i t e e x p e r i e n c e d t r a i n e r t o meet w i t h m y s e l f and t h r e e o f my co-wo r k e r s . Now, I have been t e a c h i n g t h i s resume w r i t i n g f o r eons, my c o l l e a g u e s t o o , but t h i s was an example o f where somebody comes i n .and t o t a l l y p u t s her agenda out, and has no r e g a r d f o r who she i s s p e a k i n g t o . She came i n w i t h overheads, and gave us a b a s i c l e s s o n i n how t o do a resume! JOANNA To your group o f v e r y e x p e r i e n c e d v o c a t i o n a l f a c i l i t a t o r s . JANE Now, I'm s u r e t h a t she r e a d my body language and I had t o r e a l l y work on managing m y s e l f because t h e r e was smoke coming out of my e a r s , i t was so i n a p p r o p r i a t e ! To have t h e d i s c u s s i o n on what t h e y wanted and why t h e y wanted i t was f i n e . But not t o g i v e us a l e s s o n on "Here's how you w r i t e an o b j e c t i v e . " " T h i s i s what I mean by s k i l l based resume."... "Use v e r b s to..." So, t h a t ' s youth and t h a t ' s e n t h u s i a s m and t h a t ' s a l s o l a c k of s e n s i t i v i t y . I f you t r a n s l a t e t h a t i n t o how she's g o i n g t o d e a l w i t h c l i e n t s t h e n a g a i n - I t h i n k of how f r u s t r a t e d I was - and the o t h e r s were f r u s t r a t e d t o o , but I was o l d enough and was a b l e t o d i f f u s e t h i s and get around i t ; I wasn't rude but I began t o change the d i r e c t i o n and ask q u e s t i o n s so t h a t f i n a l l y we came o f f t h i s l e s s o n b u s i n e s s and more i n t o how we can work t h r o u g h o t h e r arrangement. I asked, "What i s i t you want and how do you want the p r o c e s s t o work?" I t was t h e p r o c e s s we needed t o t a l k about, not how t o w r i t e a resume. She t o t a l l y m i s r e a d the s i t u a t i o n . She put her agenda on us. You j u s t have t o have s e n s i t i v i t y and she o b v i o u s l y d i d n ' t . JOANNA ...And good judgment, b e i n g a b l e t o s i z e up t h e s i t u a t i o n and a c t a c c o r d i n g l y . JANE And t h a t ' s where g e t t i n g the feedback, and l i s t e n i n g and b e i n g open t o the f a c t t h a t something i s not w o r k i n g r a t h e r t h a n t a k i n g i t as a p e r s o n a l a f f r o n t . R a t h e r t h a n t h i n k i n g , "Oh my goodness, so and so i s a bad p e r s o n . " I say, " L e t ' s j u s t b r o a c h t h i s from a d i f f e r e n t way." And t h a t ' s what I d i d . JOANNA I t seems t o be a c o m b i n a t i o n of e x p e r i e n c e , knowledge and s e n s i t i v i t y t h a t comes w i t h m a t u r i t y , but not n e c e s s a r i l y . JANE No, i t doesn't n e c e s s a r i l y come w i t h age. I a l r e a d y mentioned t h i s p e r s o n t h a t I worked w i t h i n the l a s t p l a c e who had her own p e r s o n a l i s s u e s (What Leadership is NOT) . She d i d n ' t have any b o u n d a r i e s and she was t o t a l l y l a c k i n g i n s e n s i t i v i t y w i t h i n her group o f c l i e n t s . She would have an agenda and her whole c u r r i c u l u m s e t up i n advance whether i t f i t t he group or no t . And i t ' s v e r y i n t e r e s t i n g because she would t a l k , but she wouldn't l i s t e n . I t was f r u s t r a t i n g t o work w i t h her because she would never l i s t e n t o her c l i e n t s or her coworkers. And u n f o r t u n a t e l y she i s s t i l l l o o k i n g f o r work. We were a l l l a i d o f f a t t h e same time i n December and she's s t i l l not employed. * * * Freedom and Loneliness "Teach ing is a lonely business," says Pamela . "There ' s part o f that that I love , close the door and do whatever I want, but on the other h a n d . . . " F reedom is a double-edged sword for educators. O n the edge o f freedom is loneliness and isolat ion. Pamela raises this paradox and wonders where it is appropriate to show the cracks, questions, and confusions that we all experience when we often feel alone wi th in our practice. She has often felt l ike a heretic by separating her avocational passion for dialogue and peace f rom her professional educational practice, yet had never spoke o f this tension until she received the gift f rom her program director, the book, The Courage to Teach. A conversation about the dynamics between heresy and or thodoxy w o u l d have broken this sense o f isolat ion, but w i th in the context o f her professional work , there was no apparent space. Jennifer speaks o f the struggle to communicate her v i s ion and to be understood by those she is leading, reflecting perhaps the most enduring challenge o f artists on the edges o f society. T h i s struggle also speaks to the challenge o f educators who take their 144 vocat ion seriously ( C o l l i n s , 1991). Jane mentions her dr ive home and the need to keep some boundaries, yet in other stories she demonstrates how her love for the clients keeps her in this emot ional ly demanding work. A n y a talks about her love for the students as a haven wi th in the "smal l -mindedness" o f the department where she struggles without anyone to w h o m she can confide her doubts and questions without appearing "unprofessional ." M u r d o c k mentions w o r k i n g wi th colleagues that he respects as being an important d imens ion o f his work , one that he values a great deal and without w h i c h the work w o u l d be very isolat ing, l ack ing energy and enjoyment. Is it another uninterrogated myth o f leadership that to lead, even wi th in the context o f an educational practice, wi th in a c lassroom, means one has to be isolated and alone i n one's responsibil i t ies? "It 's lonely at the top" is a w e l l - w o r n expression reflecting a traditional notion o f what leaders must endure. Y e t I wonder where the sanctuaries are for educators, who may often feel l ike lone warr iors , to share wi th each other and to learn f rom their o w n experiences? A n d who is responsible for f ind ing these spaces? Gadamer (1992) suggests that " i t is everyone 's task to f ind this free space and al l human beings must learn to create wi th one another new sol idari t ies" (p. 40). A shared sense o f loneliness comes f rom Pamela in her role as a contract adult educator, A n y a , as a col lege art teacher, and Jane as a vocat ional facilitator. H o w does one reconcile taking actions that probe and stir up the complacent and accepted status quo, wi th the bel ief in the importance o f keeping the mood o f the c lassroom or boardroom buoyant and posi t ive? Where do educator go when they want to experiment and play wi th new ideas or reexamine pre-understandings? Is this sense o f isolat ion and 145 loneliness due to a tendency in those who take their educational leadership actions responsibly - such as creating meaningful educative environments - the price o f leading? Is the price too high? A r e the roles we create too scripted? Pamela talks about want ing each encounter w i th her students to be the most it can be and yet at t imes finds the energy required to orchestrate diverse interests and needs o f such a group to be very t i r ing work . Heife tz (1994), in Leadership Without Easy Answers, suggests that loneliness comes wi th the weight o f responsibi l i ty . Y e t isolat ion contributes to los ing effectiveness or succumbing to ove rwhe lming stress. The capacity to care for oneself, to manage oneself - in whatever setting or circumstance - is central. T h i s means stepping back f rom the action and keeping a sense o f the whole picture; d is t inguishing oneself f rom one's role, not taking the events and statements personally when they have more to do wi th the particular role; external iz ing confl ic t ; f ind ing partners and supporters such as personal confidants and all ies w i th in or across organizations; l is tening and us ing oneself as data in terms o f k n o w i n g oneself and one's biases. Jane tells the story of how she handled a potentially unproductive meeting wi th people f rom another part o f the H R D C bureaucracy by redirecting the focus o f the conversation and reframing the problems. T h i s story shines as a touchstone for what it means to speak up, stand up and redirect a conversation. Th rough this communica t ive process purpose is explored wi th others as a way to deepen understanding. T h i s story about the young co-worker who misjudged g iv ing Jane's experienced group a lesson on how to write a resume seemed to illustrate how very gently and respectfully, but forceful ly, Jane was able to reframe the conversat ion without blame, so that she could talk about what was most important. That seems l ike the essence o f educational 146 leadership - cutting through what ' s unimportant, m o v i n g past i nd iv idua l egos, and getting everyone 's attention focused on what needs to be talked about. L i s ten ing w e l l involves l i v i n g wi th doubt, reflecting on actions - both successes and failures - and responding intentionally rather than reactively. It helps to f ind a sanctuary. Gadamer refers to this as " a free space." A r e n d t speaks o f "islands o f f reedom" where one can actually hear one 's thoughts, l isten to one 's o w n voice . T h i s k ind o f space is a psycho log ica l , spiritual and physical space to hear oneself and to be oneself without the noise o f others' voices . M o s t important, suggests Heife tz (1994), and consistent wi th C o l l i n s (1991) wr i t ing about vocat ion, is ho ld ing a sense o f purpose about one's practice. T h i s purpose articulates the values that make r isk- taking, and deal ing wi th confl ic t and difference wor thwhi le . V o c a t i o n refers to a ca l l i ng and entails commitment to the performance o f wor thwhi le activit ies that are not merely calculated to advance personal career aspirations or fu l f i l m i n i m u m j o b expectations. It incorporates a strong ethical d imens ion , emphas iz ing an unavoidable necessity to make judgments about what should or should not be done and a readiness to take sides on significant issues. ( C o l l i n s , 1991, p. 42) A n inquiry into the values that one holds and that orient us is where I began in my vocat ion story about learning to sew. L i k e a ship 's compass, a sense o f purpose helps us deal wi th isolat ion, setbacks, failures and ult imately gives us the courage to "face the wor ld as it i s . " * * * Having a V i s i o n and Working I t JOANNA There a r e d i f f i c u l t i e s w i t h h a v i n g a v i s i o n t h a t o t h e r s have y e t t o see or t o r e a l l y u n d e r s t a n d . How do you i n v o l v e p e o p l e t o j o i n you, how t o you i n v i t e them t o add t o t h i s 147 v i s i o n o r s u p p o r t you? Murdock, I am t h i n k i n g about the degree c o m p l e t i o n program t h a t you d e v e l o p e d a t the u n i v e r s i t y , which was v e r y i n n o v a t i v e , and a d e p a r t u r e from the p o l i c i e s and p r o c e d u r e s o f the u n i v e r s i t y . What were some of the c h a l l e n g e s i n l e a d i n g t h i s p r o j e c t ? D i d s e r i o u s d i f f e r e n c e s a r i s e about what ought t o be done o r how? MURDOCK W e l l t h a t was a c t u a l l y a f t e r we had g o t t e n i t s t a r t e d . But when we were g e t t i n g i t s t a r t e d I was r e a l l y p l e a s e d and s u r p r i s e d by t h e amount o f su p p o r t t h a t was f o r t h coming. But we were g o i n g t o the pe o p l e t h a t we thought would be most l i k e l y t o be i n t e r e s t e d i n d o i n g i t . But over time t h e r e emerged a k i n d o f v o c a l o p p o s i t i o n t o i t . JOANNA R e a l l y ? MURDOCK At the b e g i n n i n g d o i n g i t r e a l l y w e l l and making s u r e e v e r y t h i n g about t h e program was d e f e n s i b l e was r e a l l y i m p o r t a n t . The d e t a i l s - making sure t h a t t h e way the money f l o w s i s w e l l t a k e n c a r e o f , g e t t i n g t h a t s t u f f r i g h t i s j u s t as i m p o r t a n t as the program i t s e l f . JOANNA The a d m i n i s t r a t i v e d e t a i l ? MURDOCK I t ' s r e a l l y i m p o r t a n t . There has t o be good c u r r i c u l u m , t h e r e have t o be good t e a c h e r s , p r o b a b l y good t e a c h e r s a r e more i m p o r t a n t than c u r r i c u l u m , you have t o have a l l t h a t , but t h a t program would not have happened w i t h o u t p e o p l e who u n d e r s t o o d how the u n i v e r s i t y worked and c o u l d t h i n k about how the budget would work. There was a key p e r s o n I worked w i t h who was v e r y f a m i l i a r w i t h the u n i v e r s i t y p r o c e d u r e s who was i n v o l v e d i n p a v i n g t h e way. He had s t a r t e d two or t h r e e o f the departments i n the u n i v e r s i t y and he knew a l o t about what c o u l d be s o l d and t h a t e x p e r i e n c e was c r i t i c a l t o the program's s u c c e s s . JOANNA So an u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f how t o p o s i t i o n t he program i n such a way as t o c o n v i n c e any s k e p t i c s and making su r e t h a t a d m i n i s t r a t i v e l y a l l t he " i " s are d o t t e d and the " t " s are c r o s s e d . MURDOCK Yes t h a t ' s r i g h t . Having the a d m i n i s t r a t i v e d e t a i l s r i g h t i s r e a l l y i m p o r t a n t . JOANNA And g e t t i n g t he r i g h t p e o p l e i n v o l v e d t o s u p p o r t your v i s i o n . You mentioned e a r l i e r about c r e a t i n g something new and b e i n g r e s p o n s i v e t o the changi n g needs o f a d u l t l e a r n e r s and some of the d i f f i c u l t i e s i n h e r e n t i n t h a t . [ D e f i n i n g and Responding t o Complex S i t u a t i o n s ! MURDOCK There i s one t h i n g t h a t i s p l a g u i n g me r i g h t now i n my work w i t h o r g a n i z a t i o n s w a n t i n g p r o f e s s i o n a l development and academic programs. When you l o o k around and you see what i t would t a k e t o r e a l l y r e spond t o t h e i r needs, w e l l you'd have t o have some of t h e t h i n g s t h a t R o y a l Roads does, some of the t h i n g s t h a t Open L e a r n i n g Agency does, some of the t h i n g s t h a t t h i s u n i v e r s i t y does, some of t h e t h i n g s t h a t p r i v a t e p r o v i d e r s p r o v i d e , some of the t h i n g s from the l o c a l c o l l e g e , and you need t o have some way of i n t e g r a t i n g i t a l l and t h a t ' s r e a l l y m i s s i n g . I t ' s h a r d t o see how you can get the r i g h t s o l i d i t y , and q u a l i t y of thoug h t , and f a c u l t y a t t e n t i o n t h a t t he u n i v e r s i t y , a t i t s b e s t , o f f e r s , and combine t h a t w i t h t he f l e x i b i l i t y and i n n o v a t i v e n e s s of some of the Ro y a l Roads programs, f o r i n s t a n c e , and t h e way i n which Open L e a r n i n g Agency o r g a n i z e s a g r e a t v a r i e t y o f programs and d i f f e r e n t t h i n g s from i n s t i t u t i o n s and p u t s them a l l t o g e t h e r t o s e r v e p e o p l e ' s needs. One of the r e s u l t s of t h a t i s t h a t t h e y end up g e t t i n g dozens of d i f f e r e n t programs from d i f f e r e n t s u p p l i e r s and t h e y are not i n t e g r a t e d or s t r e a m l i n e d i n any way. There are a l l t h e s e d i f f e r e n t p i e c e s t h a t may use d i f f e r e n t language t o t a l k about t h e same t h i n g s ; you end up w i t h a k i n d of a mish mash... There doesn't seem t o be any r e a l r e a s o n why you c o u l d n ' t combine t h a t a l l w i t h i n the o r g a n i z a t i o n i t s e l f or you c o u l d n ' t have a s t r o n g mandate from w i t h i n the o r g a n i z a t i o n t h a t s a y s , "OK, we want a l l of you t o be our s u p p l i e r s but you can o n l y be our s u p p l i e r s i f you t a l k t o each o t h e r and f i g u r e out how t o make t h i s whole system work. That k i n d of s t u f f i s n ' t happening r i g h t now and i t ' s p a r t l y a t e n s i o n between s t a t u s and concerns f o r academic r i g o u r and o t h e r k i n d s of p o s t - s e c o n d a r y i n s t i t u t i o n s and p r i v a t e p r o v i d e r s t h a t are more f l e x i b l e . And everybody i s c a r v i n g out h i s or her own n i c h e , but i t ' s a k i n d of B a l k a n i z e d approach even though B r i t i s h Columbia has p r o b a b l y got one of the b e s t systems. JOANNA As you meet w i t h t h e s e c l i e n t o r g a n i z a t i o n s do you f i n d y o u r s e l f g e t t i n g f r u s t r a t e d because the u n i v e r s i t y c a n ' t p r o v i d e a l l the s o l u t i o n s ? MURDOCK I t ' s c o m p l i c a t e d . And the f r u s t r a t i o n l i e s i n s e e i n g the l i m i t a t i o n s w i t h i n the o r g a n i z a t i o n - s i n c e e d u c a t i o n i s not a c e n t r a l f o c u s f o r them - and i n r e c o g n i z i n g t h a t we are f a i l i n g t o see the ways the u n i v e r s i t y c o u l d do more t o d e v e l o p good h e a l t h y p a r t n e r s h i p s w i t h t h e p r i v a t e s e c t o r . There are l o t s of ways t h a t p a r t n e r s h i p s c o u l d be a danger t o the u n i v e r s i t y but I t h i n k t h a t a l s o t h e r e are ways t h a t t h e r e can be p o s i t i v e r e l a t i o n s h i p s . And f o r the most p a r t p e o p l e t e n d t o d i v i d e into... JOANNA E i t h e r - Or... MURDOCK E i t h e r - Or i s dangerous thinking.... Weak t h i n k i n g . * * * [Reading the F l i c k e r of P o s s i b i l i t y ! JOANNA Murray, you mentioned e a r l i e r t h a t your b i g g e s t c h a l l e n g e i n s t a r t i n g up the t o u r i s m employment p r o g r a m . i n v o l v e s ongoing c o n v e r s a t i o n s w i t h t h e purpose of b u i l d i n g r e l a t i o n s h i p s w i t h a l l o f your p a r t n e r s . MURRAY One of t h e b i g g e s t c h a l l e n g e s l a t e l y has been c o n v i n c i n g the m i n i s t r y a t t h e l o c a l l e v e l t h a t our program r e a l l y does work. To do t h i s we t a k e them our s u c c e s s s t o r i e s . Our r e t e n t i o n r a t e s o f our placements i s 73% and t h a t ' s v e r y h i g h , p a r t i c u l a r l y when we are d e a l i n g w i t h t h e c l i e n t s t h a t we are d e a l i n g w i t h - p e o p l e , i n some c a s e s , who have not been employed f o r ye a r s and y e a r s and y e a r s . So t h a t ' s been a p r e t t y b i g c h a l l e n g e , c o n v i n c i n g the m i n i s t r y . But now t h e y are on s i d e and we meet w i t h them o f t e n . We t a k e our team t o them; t h e y b r i n g t h e i r team t o us. They see who we are and t h e y have begun t o t r u s t us and t h a t i s a r e a l p l u s f o r us t h a t t h e y t r u s t us. I t ' s become a ' l o t e a s i e r . P a r t o f the agreement of the p a r t n e r s h i p i s t h a t t h e y are g o i n g t o p r o v i d e us w i t h 24,000 r e f e r r a l o v er a one-year p e r i o d . JOANNA Oh r e a l l y . From t h e i r f i l e s ? MURRAY From the Income A s s i s t a n c e f i l e s , o r from t h o s e who have j u s t a p p l i e d - - t h e y p r o v i d e us w i t h a l o t o f r e f e r r a l s . JOANNA You must see p e o p l e who have e x p e r i e n c e d a l o t o f d i f f i c u l t y i n t h e i r l i v e s . They must be f e e l i n g p r e t t y low. MURRAY That's t r u e . But i f we see t h a t l i t t l e f l i c k e r t h e n - - I t h i n k t h a t one of the t h i n g s about b e i n g i n the i n d u s t r y f o r so l o n g i s t h a t we can go on our f i r s t i m p r e s s i o n s and sometimes the i m p r e s s i o n s t h r o u g h o u t the whole i n t e r v i e w . I t ' s not t o o o f t e n we make m i s t a k e s , but the odd time we get burned. JOANNA You get t o know pe o p l e v e r y well... MURRAY You get t o know them and so we make our judgments on t h a t . We do t a k e some chances when we see a f l i c k e r . There a re cases where a spouse has had t o be home f o r s e v e r a l y e a r s because o f a s i c k p a r t n e r or a c h i l d t h a t needed t o be l o o k e d a f t e r and by t h e time t h e y get t o us t h e y a re j u s t beat up, so you've got t o b u i l d t he s e l f - e s t e e m . That's a b i g p a r t o f the program, t o b u i l d t h e s e l f - e s t e e m o f t h e pe o p l e t h a t do come here. Because q u i t e f r a n k l y t he p e o p l e t h a t do go on s o c i a l a s s i s t a n c e are on a p r e t t y low ebb. So i f you b u i l d t h a t c o n f i d e n c e up and the self-esteem... JOANNA You seem t o t a k e a c t i o n m o s t l y a t t h e l e v e l o f l o b b y i n g government, c o n v i n c i n g them and d e m o n s t r a t i n g t h e v a l u e o f your program. You a l s o know the pe o p l e g o i n g t h r o u g h t h e program, which g i v e s you a good l o c a t i o n from which t o t a l k about t h e s u c c e s s s t o r i e s . MURRAY Very much so, because we are here on a d a i l y b a s i s , and we d e a l w i t h the m i n i s t r y r e g u l a r l y as w e l l . W e ' l l t a k e t h e suc c e s s s t o r i e s and t e l l them what's happened i n t h e p a s t f o u r or f i v e weeks. "Here's a p e r s o n who d i d n ' t have any hope and we got them employed i n t h r e e days." JOANNA No k i d d i n g ! MURRAY And t h e y say H a l l e l u j a h ! Sometimes t h e y c a n ' t b e l i e v e i t . So i t ' s t h o s e s u c c e s s s t o r i e s t h a t c o n v i n c e the m i n i s t r y t h a t t h i s program i s worth s u p p o r t i n g . There a re so many. For i n s t a n c e , t h e r e a r e p e o p l e who come i n and i t ' s c l e a r t h a t t h e y j u s t haven't c a r e d f o r t h e m s e l v e s . W e l l , i f we see p o t e n t i a l t h e r e t h e n w e ' l l have t h e i r t e e t h f i x e d o r w e ' l l buy them some g l a s s e s o r get them a h a i r c u t o r buy them c l o t h e s . When we see the p o t e n t i a l and o f f e r s u p p o r t , t h e n s u d d e n l y t h e y s t a r t t o see what we are t r y i n g t o do f o r them. We see t h e i r p r i d e i n themselves b e g i n t o grow. I t ' s a r e a l t u r n a r o u n d . There a re many, many s t o r i e s . I have a drawer f u l l o f t h e s e s t o r i e s t h a t I c a n ' t share the s p e c i f i c d e t a i l because t h e y are c o n f i d e n t i a l . But i n e v e r y o f f i c e i t ' s the same. JOANNA Is t h e r e any one s t o r y t h a t s t a n d s out f o r you? A s p e c i f i c i n s t a n c e ? MURRAY That's a r e a l l y good q u e s t i o n . There was one woman i n the N o r t h t h a t I can t h i n k o f , who was j u s t down i n t h e dumps and d i d n ' t have any hope. We saw the p o t e n t i a l , t h a t f l i c k e r I suppose, i n her and we a r r a n g e d some t r a i n i n g a t the c o l l e g e f o r her and managed t o get her a placement at the f r o n t desk o f a h o t e l . She s t r u g g l e d t h r o u g h f o r two t o t h r e e months and a l l o f a sudden she j u s t c l i c k e d (snaps f i n g e r s ) . P r e t t y soon t h i s company sent her down t o N o r t h Dakota f o r t r a i n i n g t o run one of t h e i r h o t e l s i n V i c t o r i a . JOANNA That i s one good s t o r y w i t h a happy e n d i n g . MURRAY She has done e x t r e m e l y w e l l and now she i s h i r i n g our cl i e n t s . . . T r a n s f o r m a t i o n and Emotion JOANNA Your s t o r i e s p o i n t out t h a t t h e s t u d e n t s or c l i e n t s who b r i n g t h e i r l i v e s i n t o a c l a s s r o o m o r boardroom or community meetin g space have a l o t a s t a k e . What you t e a c h them, what t h e y l e a r n , and how you i n t e r a c t w i t h them has a tremendous impact on how t h e y go f o r w a r d i n t h e i r l i v e s . ANYA As an a r t t e a c h e r i t ' s h a r d t o know at the time what k i n d of impact you have on the s t u d e n t s . Sure, l a t e r on t h e y t e l l you t h a t "You made a huge d i f f e r e n c e t o me" but a t the time i t ' s v e r y h a r d t o know. I'm su r e I've had an impact. I'm sure the o t h e r i n s t r u c t o r s have had an impact. JOANNA From what you say about the s t u d e n t s i n your program, you seem t o r e a l l y c a r e about them. ANYA Ooh. And t h a t ' s p r o b a b l y the o n l y p a r t t h a t I l o v e about the work ( L a u g h i n g ) . I d e t e s t t h e k i n d o f c o n f l i c t t h a t goes around among the i n s t r u c t o r s . I f I had an a d m i n i s t r a t i v e j o b where I had t o d e a l w i t h the same p e o p l e a l l t he time.... B a s i c a l l y , as I see i t , our whole j o b r e v o l v e s around the s t u d e n t s and e v e r y year t h e y ' r e d i f f e r e n t and i t ' s g r e a t t o see them coming i n a t one end and two y e a r s l a t e r what t h e y have done. W i t h i n two s h o r t y e a r s o n l y and you see e v e r y t h i n g opening up f o r them, j u s t the whole p o s s i b i l i t y . W e l l t h a t ' s my f a v o r i t e p a r t o f the whole t h i n g and t h e a r t shows and meetin g w i t h them a f t e r w a r d s t o t a l k . And you know you're a r o l e model and you know some of them adore you and some of them don't adore you, but t h a t ' s where a l l the energy comes from. * * * [A Dream Come True) PAMELA R e c e n t l y I was a p a r t i c i p a n t i n a workshop w i t h Raymond Wlodkowski. H i s f o c u s i s c u l t u r a l d i v e r s i t y and on c r e a t i n g c l i m a t e s where p e o p l e e x p e r i e n c e i n t r i n s i c m o t i v a t i o n , where a l l p e o p l e have the sense of b e i n g r e s p e c t e d and connected. He had a c l o s i n g e x e r c i s e and I was so i n c r e d i b l y moved by what we had done i n h i s workshop i n the p r e v i o u s two days. I was so moved by what he t a l k e d about and what he d i d t h a t I was j u s t choked at t h e end, I c o u l d b a r e l y speak. I was r e a l l y moved because he made e d u c a t i o n so much more tha n j u s t the t e c h n i q u e s and...it was, i t was l i k e a dream come t r u e . I t r e a l l y seemed t o be the v e r y • h i g h e s t p o s s i b l e t h i n g t h a t e d u c a t i o n can be. I t ' s l i k e what I s a i d e a r l i e r about e d u c a t i o n b e i n g the p a t h t o w o r l d peace. He's w o r k i n g t h a t model. E d u c a t i o n , one p e r s o n a t a t i m e , i s the p a t h t o w o r l d peace. I was j u s t so moved t h a t he demonstrated t h a t so w e l l . He honoured t h a t purpose and demonstrated t h a t i t ' s p o s s i b l e . JOANNA I s t h a t h i s i n t e n t i o n ? PAMELA He doesn't q u i t e say i t l i k e t h a t but i t i s . I n h i s book you see h i s endeavors t o c r o s s c u l t u r a l b r i d g e s and c r e a t e r a c i a l harmony. He f o c u s e s on c r e a t i n g p o s i t i v e a t t i t u d e s about t h e s e t t i n g , t he i n s t r u c t o r , and the s u b j e c t m a t t e r ; c r e a t i n g b e l o n g i n g and c o n n e c t i o n s so p e o p l e f e e l r e a l l y s a f e i n the environment; making the c o n t e n t r e l e v a n t and t i e d t o your l i f e as much as p o s s i b l e , and b u i l d i n g s u c c e s s , t h a t f e e l i n g o f , "Yes, I can do t h i s . " I t h i n k when you get a l l t h e s e t h i n g s happening i t i n c r e a s e s t h e chances t h a t i t ' s g o i n g t o be t r a n s f o r m a t i v e e x p e r i e n c e . I t has t o do w i t h magic and t i m i n g . JOANNA At t h e end of the workshop, i t a l l came t o g e t h e r . PAMELA Yes. I t was huge. JOANNA Do you s u s p e c t t h a t perhaps genuine engagement i n our own t e a c h i n g and l e a r n i n g doesn't happen enough and why t h a t might be? PAMELA I've l o o k e d at the whole s u b j e c t of a d u l t e d u c a t i o n and what makes i t m e a n i n g f u l and i m p o r t a n t t o p e o p l e and I s t i l l wouldn't be a b l e t o say e x a c t l y why i t i s t h a t sometimes p e o p l e have t h e s e l i f e c h a n g i n g moments... JOANNA I t ' s not o n l y the s t u d e n t s who e x p e r i e n c e t h e s e moments of t r u t h . As e d u c a t o r s we are o f t e n t r a n s f o r m e d by the c o n f r o n t a t i o n w i t h our e x p e c t a t i o n s and p l a n s . MURDOCK There a re a few moments t h a t s t a n d out f o r me. Watching the f i r s t s e t of s t u d e n t s g r aduate from the degree c o m p l e t i o n program was p r e t t y moving. The odd moment i n a c l a s s r o o m when you get a r e a l l y good d i s c u s s i o n g o i n g . O f t e n i n team t e a c h i n g - I have t a u g h t a number of t i m e s i n t h e M a s t e r ' s Program i n L i b e r a l S t u d i e s and we o f t e n team t e a c h a c o u r s e - so t h e r e ' s a huge s a t i s f a c t i o n from t h a t , o r I've had g r a duate s t u d e n t s who have done r e a l l y e x c i t i n g work and r e a d i n g t h e i r work or t a l k i n g about i t w i t h them can be r e a l l y e x c i t i n g . But t h e p a r t t h a t I r e a l l y l i v e f o r i s t h e p l a n n i n g . I remember w i t h a g r e a t sense of e x c i t e m e n t and accomplishment the p l a n n i n g f o r the degree c o m p l e t i o n program, w o r k i n g e s p e c i a l l y w i t h a c o l l e a g u e , who has t u r n e d out t o be a good f r i e n d , w o r k i n g out t h e i d e a s , how we were g o i n g t o get around the v a r i o u s o b s t a c l e s , what th e program c o u l d l o o k l i k e . And s i m i l a r l y , w o r k i n g w i t h some e x t e r n a l c l i e n t s . S t i c k i n g your nose i n t o t h e b u s i n e s s of t h e i r o r g a n i z a t i o n , f i g u r i n g out d i f f e r e n t ways of d e a l i n g w i t h the problem and d o i n g i t w i t h a few p e o p l e . That's e x c i t i n g t o me. That's one of t h e b i g g e s t t h r i l l s . [Understanding and Courage P t . l | ANYA I know I have a l o t of freedom w i t h i n my j o b . I l o v e t h a t freedom. B a s i c a l l y the a d m i n i s t r a t i v e p a r t of i t i s up t o you and how much you want t o t a k e on. There are p e o p l e i n the department t h a t r e a l l y l o v e the a d m i n i s t r a t i v e s i d e of i t , who come from a more academic background and t h e y r e a l l y l o v e t h a t s i d e , but I e n j o y the p e o p l e s i d e of i t -w o r k i n g w i t h the s t u d e n t s and I r e a l l y don't f e e l t h a t I have the c a p a c i t y or the w h e r e w i t h a l f o r a l l the c u r r i c u l u m , and the words and t h e " a r t speak." I r e s i s t i n t e l l e c t u a l i z i n g about a r t . My approach i s d i f f e r e n t from many of my c o l l e a g u e s . JOANNA Working w i t h the a d m i n i s t r a t o r s and your c o l l e a g u e s seems t o be t h e most c h a l l e n g i n g p a r t of your p r a c t i c e s i n c e you don't seem t o be t o o a f r a i d o f guys w i t h guns o r d r u g s . ANYA No. I'm not a f r a i d of them a t a l l . No, I'm not even r e a l l y a f r a i d o f the d i r e c t o r of my department s i t t i n g a c r o s s the t a b l e ; i t ' s j u s t the s m a l l mindedness t h a t d r i v e s me mad. I t ' s the a d m i n i s t r a t i v e n e s s t h a t I c a n ' t s t a n d . JOANNA In t h i s c o n t e x t have you ever f e l t t h a t your courage was t e s t e d ? Have you overcome the f e a r of s p e a k i n g up? ANYA W e l l t o be honest, I t h i n k I've always had a l o t of courage, you know. I mean, my mother would say t h a t I always had a l o t of courage. So you b e l i e v e t h a t about y o u r s e l f , you know? JOANNA I s n ' t courage about overcoming f e a r ; d o i n g something i n s p i t e of b e i n g nervous or a f r a i d ? ANYA Oh f o r s u r e . I n my p e r s o n a l l i f e I was a f r a i d i n a l o t of s i t u a t i o n s f o r a l o n g time and t h e n the window opens o r t h e door opens and something dawns on you. You see p e o p l e , such as t h a t young women who was a s s a u l t e d , I see her as a p i c t u r e , as a m i r r o r r e f l e c t i o n o f m y s e l f a t a t i m e . I t was l i k e l o o k i n g a t somebody who i s a f r a i d , who wants t o draw a t t e n t i o n t o something and doesn't know what t o do. B e i n g a f r a i d and t h e n becoming more courageous. You t a k e the courage from where you see i t . JOANNA Where do you get the a u t h o r i t y t o a c t ? That sense o f knowing t h a t you are d o i n g the r i g h t t h i n g ? For example, how d i d you know t h a t i n t e r v e n i n g w i t h the s t u d e n t was the r i g h t t h i n g t o do? ANYA In t h i s case i t came from her s a y i n g i t was OK f o r me t o h e l p h e r . I t ' s j u s t the s i m p l e t h i n g of r e s p o n d i n g t o somebody who i s b e i n g b a t t e r e d . I mean, he c o u l d have k i l l e d h er w i t h no problem at a l l . Do you run and get the h e l p o r do you jump i n ? So courage or f o o l i s h n e s s I don't know. You have t o do something; you c a n ' t t u r n a b l i n d eye. You c a n ' t j u s t get i n t o your c a r and go o f f . JOANNA And d r i v e away? ANYA No, you c a n ' t . I t ' s s o c i a l l y i r r e s p o n s i b l e . Now you don't have t o go i n t h e r e and get k i l l e d y o u r s e l f , but you have t o phone the p o l i c e , you have t o do something. JOANNA How do you t h i n k o t h e r s would d e s c r i b e how you are i n your t e a c h i n g p r a c t i c e - your approach t o the t e a c h i n g o f a r t ? ANYA I t h i n k t h e y would t h i n k t h a t I'm d e f i n i t e l y e n t h u s i a s t i c . I am p a s s i o n a t e . I've got a b i g mouth and I can be v e r y i m p u l s i v e . ( L a u g h i n g ) . W e l l I am! I do speak out and I'm not a f r a i d t o speak out. I hate b e i n g c o n t r o l l e d . JOANNA Your own a r t evokes t h a t s t r e n g t h . The s c a l e and c o l o u r 'is b o l d and i t ' s complex and c h a l l e n g i n g . | l t f s My Love| JOANNA Jane, you have mentioned on more t h a n one o c c a s i o n t h i s c o n n e c t i o n between who you are as a p e r s o n and how t h a t comes a c r o s s i n your ' t e a c h i n g and g u i d i n g ' work. I f t h e r e i s n ' t some k i n d o f c o n n e c t i o n , t h e n what happens? Do p e o p l e get burned out or not get h i r e d ? JANE Or t h e y ' r e not e f f e c t i v e . You do need t o m a i n t a i n your own h e a l t h , your own p e r s o n a l h e a l t h . For anybody d e a l i n g w i t h the p u b l i c , wherever you a r e , you have t o m a i n t a i n your p h y s i c a l and e m o t i o n a l and s p i r i t u a l w e l l b e i n g . Sometimes you r e a l l y have t o get h i t on the head b e f o r e you t a k e c a r e of y o u r s e l f . JOANNA What do you do t o m a i n t a i n a sense o f b a l a n c e ? JANE I t doesn't m a t t e r what's happening I always t r y and f i n d something p o s i t i v e i n the m i d d l e o f i t t o get p e o p l e g o i n g . I always t r y and s t a y p o s i t i v e . Enthusiasm. And t h a t becomes t i r i n g , o r c h e s t r a t i n g a group o f l e a r n e r s . I t ' s t i r i n g because when you t h i n k about i t , you are d e a l i n g w i t h a l o t of p e o p l e who are coming i n and t h e i r e m o t i o n a l l e v e l i s v e r y low. I f you s t a r t w i t h t h a t energy l e v e l t o o , we're not g o i n g t o get anywhere. So you have t o come i n everyday on an e m o t i o n a l upbeat, because you're the one who s e t s the tone o f t h e whole s t r u c t u r e o f your group. Here we have t h r e e weeks i n t h i s s e t t i n g t o s e t t h a t e m o t i o n a l scene and get a f e e l f o r group dynamics, so i t ' s v e r y much awareness and s e n s i t i v i t y . JOANNA [Pause] I wonder where t h a t comes from? JANE [Laughing] I'm old... JOANNA No, r e a l l y . There must be something e l s e g o i n g on t h e r e , where does t h i s e n t h u s i a s m and p e r s o n a l a u t h o r i t y come from? What do you t h i n k the so u r c e o f i t i s ? JANE I t ' s my l o v e . I t ' s my l o v e . Why would I be dong t h i s ...at t h i s age? No, i t ' s my genuine l o v e . I l o v e t o work w i t h a d u l t s because most of the time t h e y are t h e r e because t h e y want t o be and a l s o because once you make a c o n n e c t i o n , t h e n the sky i s t h e l i m i t - and the n t h e y s o a r . People g o i n g back t o s c h o o l or t h a t k i n d o f t h i n g , t h e y g e n u i n e l y want t o do i t . T h i s i s t h e c h a l l e n g e f o r me. A s k i n g , "What i s i t about t h i s p e r s o n ? " "What are t h e i r t a l e n t s ? " "What are t h e i r s k i l l s ? " "What are t h e y h i d i n g ? " "How can t h e y f i n d t h e s e s k i l l s and t a l e n t s f o r t h e m s e l v e s ? " And t h a t ' s the e x i t i n g p a r t , because t h e y do. W e l l , i t doesn't happen w i t h everybody, t h e y have t o want t o do t h a t , but i f t h e y have t h a t l i t t l e w i s h i n them, t h e n the sky i s the l i m i t and t h e y can go as f a r as t h e y w i s h w i t h t h a t . ~k -k ~k [Understanding and Courage P t . 2\ JOANNA Murdock, you mentioned the u n i v e r s i t y p r e s i d e n t ' s a d v i c e e a r l i e r about not s h y i n g away from c o n f l i c t . That seems t o me t o be t h e h a r d e s t p a r t , f o r many p e o p l e who s t e p o u t s i d e t h e i r r o l e as e d u c a t o r or p l a n n e r or programmer. Many c f us do shy away from c o n f l i c t y e t are c o m p e l l e d t o i n t e n t i o n a l l y t a k e a more " l e a d e r l y " r o l e and have t o speak up because nobody e l s e i s d o i n g so, because we see an o p p o r t u n i t y o r a problem t h a t nobody e l s e sees. T h i s 'speaking up' i s not always easy. MURDOCK W e l l , t h e r e are l o t s o f t h i n g s i n v o l v e d i n s p e a k i n g up and sometimes i t ' s a m a t t e r o f courage. But t h a t , I would say, i s r e l a t i v e l y r a r e f o r e d u c a t o r s . I mean, t h e r e ' s not t h a t many s i t u a t i o n s t h a t r e q u i r e courage - where t h e consequences f o r s p e a k i n g are extreme. JOANNA Perhaps p e o p l e f a i l t o speak up because t h e y don't want t o l o o k l i k e a h e r e t i c or appear f o o l i s h . Perhaps t h e i r own o r g a n i z a t i o n a l l e a d e r s do not encourage o r condone what might be seen as q u e s t i o n i n g t he s t a t u s quo. MURDOCK That's more l i k e i t . JOANNA But i s n ' t t h a t a k i n d o f courage t o speak up under t h o s e c o n d i t i o n s ? MURDOCK Yes, t h a t i s a k i n d of courage but I wouldn't say t h a t ' s , the major impediment. I would say t h a t t he major impediment i s understanding. I t i s g e t t i n g c l o s e enough t o un d e r s t a n d what's g o i n g on. [Pause]. There are so many w a l l s t o keep us a p a r t . JOANNA So many w a l l s t h a t keep us from s e e i n g what needs t o be done, t h a t ' s t r u e . I have known you i n a number of d i f f e r e n t r o l e s over t h e yea r s and have always admired you as a p e r s o n t h a t was a b l e t o see t h i n g s t h a t o t h e r s c o u l d n ' t o r d i d n ' t see o r speak about. T h i s i s not you a c t i n g because o f your p o s i t i o n a l l e a d e r s h i p ; i t ' s not a s c r i p t t h a t i s a s s i g n e d t o you, but more a s t a n c e t h a t you have, a p r e d i s p o s i t i o n t o see w a l l s . But you don't s t o p t h e r e . You seem t o f i n d ways t o go around them or get r i d of them. MURDOCK A"good p a r t of i t i s j u s t a range o f e x p e r i e n c e I've had and a l s o growing up i n a f a m i l y where I was sur r o u n d e d by e d u c a t i o n a l t h i n k i n g . I d i d u n d e r g r a d u a t e work i n p h i l o s o p h y and most of my d o c t o r a l work was i n p h i l o s o p h y and t h a t does push you t o q u e s t i o n assumptions and t o t h i n k t h i n g s out r a t h e r t h a n a c c e p t i n g t h i n g s t h a t p e o p l e t e l l you - r e c e i v e d wisdom. The o t h e r t h i n g was h a v i n g a v e r y d i f f e r e n t e x p e r i e n c e f o r 10 y e a r s r u n n i n g a company, w o r k i n g w i t h p e o p l e i n the c o n s t r u c t i o n and m a n u f a c t u r i n g i n d u s t r y . So i t ' s i m p o s s i b l e f o r me t o t h i n k o f t h e u n i v e r s i t y as the whole w o r l d . Because I had so much e x p e r i e n c e o u t s i d e i t , I t h i n k t h a t i t has made me more a t t u n e d t o the f a c t t h a t t h e r e a r e a l l t h e s e p e o p l e out t h e r e who may not have had acc e s s t o the u n i v e r s i t y . They're smart. They l a c k c e r t a i n k i n d s o f f o r m a l e d u c a t i o n and t h e y don't l a c k t he a b i l i t y t o l e a r n , and t h e y don't l a c k n a t i v e i n t e l l i g e n c e and i t ' s t o o bad t h a t t he w o r l d s are so s e p a r a t e . [Reading the F l i c k e r o f P o s s i b i l i t y P t . 2\ JOANNA C r e a t i n g o p p o r t u n i t i e s f o r p e o p l e from a l l k i n d s o f s e t t i n g s t o l e a r n and change i s p r o f o u n d l y s a t i s f y i n g . MURRAY The s a t i s f a c t i o n doesn't l e a v e you even though we have p l a c e d thousands o f p e o p l e ; we p l a c e d t h r e e t o d a y . When we get a placement, I s t i l l get goose bumps. I f e e l so happy f o r t h o s e p e o p l e because I know what t h e y have been t h r o u g h ; t h a t t h e i r f a m i l y has gone hungry; t h a t t h e y have r e a l l y worked h a r d t o f i n d work f o r t h e m s e l v e s . When a pe r s o n who r e a l l y wants work g e t s t h a t job... I remember the f i r s t few p e o p l e I worked w i t h who got pl a c e m e n t s . I'd c r y when t h e y got them. Today I'm not d o i n g t h e same j o b , but I s t i l l get thos e emotions because t h e r e a r e so many who are g e t t i n g j o b s . I t may not be t h a t deep, w a n t i n g t o sob k i n d of emotion t h a t I e x p e r i e n c e d so o f t e n , but t o do t h i s k i n d of j o b you have t o have compassion, you have t o be a b l e t o u n d e r s t a n d p e o p l e , because i f you don't, f o r g e t i t . JOANNA You have t a l k e d about your management r o l e , but how does l e a d e r s h i p f i t i n , e d u c a t i o n a l l e a d e r s h i p ? MURRAY W e l l , I t h i n k I'm a p e r s o n t h a t stands b e h i n d my c o n v i c t i o n s . I have a t a l e n t f o r h i r i n g p e o p l e , p a r t i c u l a r l y my own s t a f f . T h i s team o f p e o p l e i s v e r y e x p e r i e n c e d , v e r y s k i l l e d . I have always had t h a t a b i l i t y t o f i n d and h i r e good p e o p l e . There are 16 of us i n t h i s o f f i c e . A l s o f a i r n e s s i s i m p o r t a n t . There was a c a r d on my desk t h i s morning here and i t says, "To my f a v o r i t e boss-. I t ' s a p l e a s u r e w o r k i n g w i t h you." I d i d n ' t e x p e c t t h i s , t h e r e i s no r e a s o n , and i t was j u s t t h e r e t h i s morning on my desk. JOANNA Everyone i n your o f f i c e s i g n e d t h i s ? [Reading from the card] "Thank you Murray f o r l e t t i n g me be p a r t o f t h i s number one team." "Your k i n d n e s s and u n d e r s t a n d i n g a r e a p p r e c i a t e d . " "Thank you f o r b e i n g who you are and l e t t i n g me be who I am, s c a r y as t h a t i s sometimes." " I t ' s f i n a l l y your t u r n t o get the r e c o g n i t i o n you d e s e r v e . Thank you f o r your u n d e r s t a n d i n g . " MURRAY I t h i n k l e a d e r s h i p i s about g a i n i n g r e s p e c t from p e o p l e t h a t you work w i t h and I t h i n k I do t h a t w i t h i n t he o r g a n i z a t i o n t h a t I'm w o r k i n g , and w i t h i n t h e t o u r i s m industry... I t f e e l s good t o have the r e s p e c t o f the p e o p l e you work w i t h . JOANNA And you have a l o t o f u n d e r s t a n d i n g f o r p e o p l e . You seem t o connect w i t h p e o p l e r a t h e r w e l l , t o r e a d them w e l l and connect w i t h them. MURRAY (Laughing) W e l l , thank you. I t ' s r e l a t e d t o l e a d e r s h i p , I suppose. I t r y t o p r o v i d e i t and sometimes wonder... But you have t o have p a t i e n c e and the main t h i n g i s t o g a i n r e s p e c t . ~k -k ~k MURDOCK R e s p o n s i b i l i t y i s v e r y i m p o r t a n t . JOANNA As Anya says, "You can' t j u s t d r i v e away." MURDOCK U n i v e r s i t i e s need t o r e c o g n i z e t h a t t h e y have a s i g n i f i c a n t r e s p o n s i b i l i t y i n the community. The f a c t t h a t t h e y a r e e l i t i s t i n the sense t h a t t h e y s u p p o r t t h e b e s t and t h e b r i g h t e s t s h o u l d n ' t mean t h a t t h e y don't have r e s p o n s i b i l i t i e s t o o t h e r segments o f s o c i e t y . And I f e e l q u i t e s t r o n g l y about t h a t . JOANNA I s t h a t where your p a s s i o n i s , your v o c a t i o n ? MURDOCK W e l l , I l i k e b u i l d i n g t h i n g s ( l a u g h s ) . JOANNA W e l l , you were i n the c o n s t r u c t i o n b u s i n e s s f o r a l o n g time... MURDOCK I l i k e p r o j e c t s and I l i k e new s t u f f . For me d e v e l o p i n g t he degree c o m p l e t i o n program and d e v e l o p i n g a p o l i c y t h a t made the program p o s s i b l e , g e t t i n g t he f i r s t programs g o i n g i s r e a l l y i n t e r e s t i n g t o me, and t e a c h i n g i n t h e program when i t was new, and c o u r s e s had t o s t i l l be i n v e n t e d . I t h i n k t h a t i t i s a t l e a s t as i m p o r t a n t t o c o n t i n u e i t on, t o keep r e c r u i t i n g t he s t u d e n t s and b u i l d i n g the program, and r e c r u i t i n g new i n s t r u c t o r s , but t o me t h a t ' s much l e s s i n t e r e s t i n g and I c o u l d n ' t m a i n t a i n my i n t e r e s t t o be w i t h the program l i k e t h a t . JOANNA The ongoing management of the program does not h o l d your a t t e n t i o n ? Would i t be a c c u r a t e t o say t h a t a metaphor f o r your v o c a t i o n i s " b u i l d i n g " ? MURDOCK W e l l b u i l d i n g i s one p a r t o f i t . F o u c a u l t t a l k s a l o t about t r a n s g r e s s i o n and I t h i n k t h a t i s a c t u a l l y q u i t e i m p o r t a n t . Not on a l a r g e s c a l e , I mean I don't t h i n k o f m y s e l f as a r e v o l u t i o n a r y , and I t h i n k t h a t most p e o p l e who t h i n k o f themselves as r e v o l u t i o n a r i e s w i t h i n i n s t i t u t i o n s a r e k i d d i n g t h e m s e l v e s , t h e y are d e l u d i n g t h e m s e l v e s . I t i s not a p l a c e from which t o l a u n c h a r e v o l u t i o n . But i t i s r e a l l y i m p o r t a n t t h a t t h e r e a r e pe o p l e who are champing a t t h e b i t . JOANNA T r a n s g r e s s i o n , i n terms o f resisting...? MURDOCK R e s i s t i n g c o n v e n t i o n a l i t y , c r e a t i n g new p o s s i b i l i t i e s , d e v e l o p i n g new p o l i c i e s t h a t a l l o w new t h i n g s t o happen, t h a t k i n d o f s t u f f i s i m p o r t a n t I t h i n k . JOANNA Pok i n g a s t i c k a t c o n v e n t i o n a l i t y ? JENNIFER The d e s i r e t o educate i s r e a l l y about how we can e x p r e s s something new and t o do t h i s i n a p r o f o u n d way. I t was t r u e f o r f o r E m i l y C a r r and t h e y way she p a i n t e d and wrote from her organs - and you can see t h a t i s why her p a i n t i n g s a r e so p h y s i c a l . T h i s i s why we connect t o them so s t r o n g l y . So d i r e c t l y . So i n t e n s e l y . I f we f i n d a way t o work from i n s i d e , from our organs, we can the n p a r a l l e l t h e impact. JOANNA Tea c h i n g and l e a d i n g from our h e a r t s as w e l l as our minds? JENNIFER And from the body i t s e l f . A r t i s t s [and e d u c a t o r s ? ] a r e , i n many ways, l i k e d o c t o r s , l i k e h e a l e r s . I t f e e l s l i k e we are i n v o l v e d i n something t h a t i t i s s a c r e d . And t h e s e are v a l u a b l e t h i n g s t o r e i t e r a t e t o y o u r s e l f d a i l y . And so I dance... JOANNA And o t h e r s o f us t e a c h , p a i n t , p l a n - a l l t h e s e t h i n g s we do as e d u c a t o r s . I have an image i n my mind of you w a l k i n g i n t o your s t u d i o space i n the morning and t h e r e you are and you' r e s a y i n g , " T h i s i s the empty space and I c r e a t e from..." JENNIFER N o t h i n g . There i s n o t h i n g and the n a t the end of the day, n o t h i n g . We go t o an empty space and work a l l day and the n we l e a v e the empty room, empty. I t ' s amazing. And humbling. And i n t h a t way my t e a c h i n g i s more l i k e b e i n g a t o u r guide - not knowing more th a n the- o t h e r s . JOANNA Yet l e a d i n g o t h e r s t o d i s c o v e r some new u n d e r s t a n d i n g t h r o u g h the e d u c a t i o n a l e x p e r i e n c e s you c r e a t e . JENNIFER What we t e a c h t h r o u g h dance i s l e f t i n memory; i t ' s l e f t i n the v i s u a l memory; i t ' s l e f t i n the p h y s i c a l memory. As I s a i d at the b e g i n n i n g o f t h i s c o n v e r s a t i o n , a l l t h i s p r e p a r a t i o n and a t t e n t i o n t o c r e a t i n g a dance [or a l e s s o n or a program] i s l i k e the B a l i n e s e who spend hours and hours and hours o f t h e i r time p r e p a r i n g d e l i c a t e , f r e s h , f l o r a l d e c o r a t i o n s f o r the temple ceremony. They have the temple ceremony - and then the d e c o r a t i o n s are j u s t swept away. There's no i m m o r t a l i t y . JOANNA The e x p e r i e n c e changes you, o f t e n i n s u b t l e , q u i e t o r p r o f o u n d ways. As e d u c a t o r s we seem t o share t h i s d e s i r e - t o be open t o change and a l s o t o c o n t r i b u t e t o change. PAMELA For me t h i s work i s about c r e a t i n g t h e c o n d i t i o n s f o r the g r a d u a l u n f o l d i n g o f t h e i n d i v i d u a l and w i t h the opening o f one more p e t a l , t h e p o s s i b i l i t y of peace. JANE I know I have done my work when I see p e o p l e l e a v e my programs w a l k i n g t a l l . T a l l e r t h a n when t h e y began. ANYA To be an e f f e c t i v e t e a c h e r you have t o be r e a l l y e n t h u s i a s t i c . You have t o be i n s p i r i n g . You have t o l o v e your s u b j e c t and you have t o l o v e t h e s t u d e n t s . And t h a t ' s not b e i n g sentimental... I f you don't have i t th e n you're not se n d i n g a n y t h i n g on, n o t h i n g a t a l l . I mean, why are you t h e r e ? Why? MURRAY I t ' s n o t i c i n g t h a t f l i c k e r i n someone whose l i f e has been r e a l l y d i f f i c u l t and b u i l d i n g on i t ; making t h i s p o s s i b l e t h r o u g h s e c t o r s programs c r e a t e d and systems... w i t h new p a r t n e r s h i p s a c r o s s MURDOCK I am i n t e r e s t e d i n c o n s t r u c t i n g something new -- i n l o o k i n g f o r new ways t o connect what the u n i v e r s i t y has t o o f f e r w i t h communities and i n d u s t r y . T h i s v e r y o f t e n i n v o l v e s s h a k i n g up the c o n v e n t i o n a l way of d o i n g t h i n g s . IV Courage and Ethics in Educational Leadership What does it mean to "face the world as it is" in the context of educational practice? Facing the challenges and dilemmas of educational practice unite the series of stories concerned with intervening with students. In Anya's dramatic story of the student who had been battered and her supportive intervention, she acted on her deeply held belief about responding to another human being in need. At the foundation of this action and the way she intervened, who she was with this student communicated as much as the words she used with her. Her action embodied her ethical commitment. You can't turn away. You must respond, her story says. Pamela's intervention with a "disruptive" student who she met with for a "coaching conversation" demonstrated her responsiveness to the needs of the students and this one in particular. It was her sense of responsibility to that student that guided her action. Murray recognizes the flicker of possibility in clients who are on a low ebb and responds in often very basic ways - with clothing, dental care, and a haircut. There are many ways to demonstrate care and support for these clients. Murray's belief is consistent with Jane and Pamela's regarding the need to have and to demonstrate genuine compassion and care for the clients/learners within these programs. Paradoxically Jane suggests that remaining detached, calm and composed while being 169 emotionally connected is the way she is able to act with wisdom and understanding. Anya demonstrates her care in solidarity with the student who was battered. She stood by her; she saw no other way to respond in this particular instance. Facing the world seems to involve knowing how to be and what to do in the moment. To be wise leaders, these stories seem to suggest, one must be able to justify one's actions, articulate the process involved, and the principles upon which decisions are made. This means one is accountable, deliberate and intentional. Arendt (1955) suggests that facing the world as it is, means being wide-awake ethically, as well as cognitively and emotionally. This fundamental stance is the common thread of all these stories. These stories show what good educational leadership looks like. This stance seems to involve looking beyond the action in front of you, to the context of that action. Gardner (1987), writing on leadership development in education, speaks to the theme of ethical action in leadership. His observations connect directly to Murdock's point about transgression, resisting received wisdom, champing at the bit, being alert to possibilities. Leaders tend to look not only far out ahead, but also look out to the sides more broadly to see the context in which their system is functioning... Those managers [educators] who have little of the leader in them are apt to take the system as it is, saying, "Here's a machine, I'll turn the crank. I'll run it the best way I can." Whereas the leader with an eye to renewal is constantly saying, "Is the system doing what it's supposed to do? How can I make it do better what it's supposed to do? Have we re-examined the goals of the system?" (Gardner, 1987, p. 4) Educational leaders ask deeper questions of the systems and structures. The status quo is not accepted as a given. Conflict is inevitable, as the university president told Murdock. Leadership by educators may require the co-narrators to operate within the context of hierarchies and systems, yet they act with an eye open for the competing 170 interests of students, colleagues and other stakeholders and funding authorities. In the midst of the multiple and often conflicting interests, these situated educational leaders demonstrate a willingness to step up and push for decisions that improve, renew, and respond to the changing needs of the constituents that they serve - in community vocational programs, colleges, university credit and non-credit programs for adult learners, dance studios, the hospitality industry - setting or position are secondary to a disposition that includes asking questions, engaging in critique, and acting in accordance with new understandings about what ought to be done. Murdock is particularly aware of this dynamic. He talks about the need to change university policy to develop a new university degree completion program for working adults. Comprehensive and integrated approaches are also needed for industry and communities to access university resources in a way that suits their needs not just conform to the present policies and regulations of the university. This involves poking a stick at institutions and not permitting them to become calcified. Murray's focus is on building trust and partnerships between very diverse private public interest. Trust is built by people knowing each other's values, being persuaded by sound research, and having a reliable and responsible track record. The work is ongoing and long term and in spite of best efforts, interests will clash, conflict is inevitable and unavoidable, not all conversations end in agreement. In the end "some [will] still have blinkers on." Projects or programs that involve change involve significant poking and prodding of people and systems. Clearly not all the co-narrators agree on the extent to which they should become involved in the struggles of their students or their organizations. What they do share is a willingness to be accountable about their notions of what is right and 171 good. Murdock suggests near the end of the conversation that perhaps understanding is the biggest challenge of all, requiring, not so much courage, as the wherewithal to sort through complex problems and issues in order to figure out what ought to be done - to not accept the "world" at face value. To transgress, resist, question, speak up and take action. A Fusion of Horizons All co-narrators speak of their own experiences of transformation as part of their participation with the adult learners within their practices. They observed and experienced transformation in the adult learners and colleagues they engage with, and these experiences have touched them personally and professionally as well. Instances of personal transformation are often accompanied by profound emotional responses; with emotions that engage the mind, heart and spirit. Emotions such as joy, sorrow, fear, and anger indicate an engagement and commitment to their vocations. These emotions connect them to their values and to what is important, to their sense of justice and other ethical principles. Anger, fear, or sadness, often contrasted dichotomously with rational, analytical and reasoned approaches may also, in fact, "prompt us to act appropriately...and have an intrinsic and instrumental value" (Jaggar, 1989, P. 155). All co-narrators talk about ways they have experienced strong emotions at different times in their practices. Murray speaks of how he wept the day his first client found a job, and the deep sob that wells up in him even now, years later, when he sees people find work, a sign of his genuine compassion for their struggles, perhaps too, because he recognizes the profundity of the challenges that face so many. Murdock speaks of the moments of emotional connection when a student has produced an exciting 172 piece of work, when the first students graduated from the new degree completion program, and when he is engaged in the flow of creating new learning opportunities for organizations outside the university. As we are addressed profoundly by our experiences, these moments connect us to the "original difficulties" of our vocation. Solidarity and compassion, love and professional boundaries, creating safe and challenging educative spaces, shaping programs that have both rigour and relevance, maintaining academic standards and building new bridges to the institutions. Personal agency and institutional structure. Pamela's experience during the final exercise in Wloldowski's workshop on motivation was profound; she refers to it as "a dream come true." Although this notion may on the surface ring like a cliche, describing her experiences as "a dream come true" communicates how the experience "struck her" and how she understood anew, in that moment, the power of education to change people profoundly, and thus to change the world. A dream come true is utterly fitting such a moment of truth. This process and curriculum, led by a respected and knowledgeable teacher-leader, evoked a strong emotion in Pamela: "I was just so choked up, I could hardly speak. It was everything that education can and should be." What moved Pamela seems also related to her respect for the deeply ethical approach of the workshop leader, including, but not limited to, his intellectual and technical expertise that clearly contributed to creating the conditions for a transformational learning environment. It seems to me that what made this moment so powerful was that it transcended technical expertise. The powerful moment was a sense of experiencing "power within" which Tisdell (2001) distinguishes from the sense of dominance or "power over." Power within is "the ability of individuals and groups to 173 have a sense of agency - the ability to act on their own and other's behalf to change the world" (p. 149-150). Activating this sense of agency is at the heart of these co-narrators' practices and central to the notion of teaching as leading. Early in the conversation Jennifer talks about the sacred role that the arts - dance in particular—play in society. Just as medical doctors are treated with reverence in society for their specialized knowledge to heal, so are the arts healing to the human spirit. Difficult to quantify, evaluate, and measure such outcomes, the preparation for such educative and potentially transformative moments are painstaking, the results, fleeting, left in memory. In times when educational and training programs are evaluated on evidence-based outcomes alone, with the onus on educators to defend and explain the benefits to society, this notion of the sacred has particular resonance for an inquiry into educational leadership. Parker Palmer takes this up in The Courage to Teach: What do I mean by the sacred? It is a paradoxical concept - as one would expert when exploring the most profound truth of all. On one hand, the word points to an ineffable immensity beyond concept and definition...on the other hand, sacred means, quite simply, "worthy of respect"...(p. 111) A society without respect for education; a society that does not revere, respect and hold mysterious such a complex and important dimension of society is, Arendt (1955) suggests, the root of banality, and the root of evil. Failing to find respect in the other, Palmer (1998) adds, "...diminishes our ability to know, to teach, to learn; we lose our capacity for surprise" (p. 112). It is this sacred dimension of the educational experience that transcends pedagogical practices and processes. How often are we truly connected to others in the learning spaces that we participate in as teachers or learners? In my experience, such sacred moments do not happen nearly enough. 174 Anger and outrage too have their place in these stories—emotions often appropriate under the particular circumstances. In particular instances Anya responds to the assaulted student, Jane speaks up to the Wage Subsidy colleague, and Jennifer voices her views on the need for respect of the arts and the ongoing need for arts education. Balancing rational analytic arguments, expressed persuasively and eloquently yet full of emotion are signs of intimacy with our vocations. At the heart of the educational leadership of each of the co-narrators is a passionate commitment to the students and communities and organizations where they practice. Love also has its place. "It's my love," declares Jane when I asked how she managed to stay 18 years in and out of contract work with such ongoing challenges and emotionally demanding work. "It's my love, why else would I be doing this after all these years?" "It's where the energy comes from," states Anya. The psychologist Eric Fromm defines love as "the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth...Love is both an intention and an action" (cited in hooks, 2000, p. 4). The principles of the love ethic (hooks, 2000) include "care, respect, knowledge, integrity, and the will to cooperate" (p. 101); it also "affirms the value of truth telling" (p. 49). hooks equates love to courage, saying to love in the face of fear is courageous. Learning: An Encounter with the Self What have I learned from the stories of my co-narrators? It is impossible to have a tidy summing up. These stories in conversation provoke, expand, and challenge traditional and emerging mental maps of educational leadership. As I listened to the stories of my co-narrators initially and worked with them in the transcripts, selecting and 175 editing them, setting them side by side in conversation with each other, I have been taken with familiar elements of some stories. These stories evoked forgotten memories and opened them up to new interpretations. In conversation with these stories my attention is drawn to what was missing and unfamiliar in my own experiences. These stories have assisted me to think again about mentors, teachers, and leaders whose interest and care or neglect has been imprinted on my own educational practice. They also have me reflecting on past conversations that I had or didn't have to persuade, cajole and motivate those I worked with and for in my film and program planning practice. I have been reminded of the importance of having a vision and a plan in mind yet to begin humbly and with openness. They are reminiscent of times when I was adrift and unsure and invited others to help me work through the complexity of a situation together. Stories of loneliness reminded me of when I toughed it out as a project leader, also lonely in my self-imposed isolation and unable or unwilling to trust or confide in others because I thought it would acknowledge limitations in my own knowledge or experience rather than demonstrate an openness to learn through conversation. The stories opened up memories of some of the salient and memorable moments in practice when speaking up and shaping and framing a conversation was just what was required in the instance. Such are the possibilities of telling and listening to storied accounts of practice; possibilities that entice, inspire, and provoke further intentional reflection and learning. In the conclusion I bring together themes and threads among the stories to draw out some implications of this research for the development of educational leadership. 176 CHAPTER SIX: THREADS AND THEMES FROM THE STORIES IN CONVERSATION What are adult educators to understand about educational leadership? In the first part of this chapter I consider the key themes and threads from the stories in conversation: Pre-understanding at risk, the language of educational leadership, and the role of narrative in understanding everyday lived experience. I include two narrative accounts from my own practice experience and conclude with an invitation to adult education colleagues to explore their own educational leadership anew. The last words, from the constructed conversation, tentatively draw the research to a close. I. Educational Leadership Mindscapes The intent of this research is not to establish the extent to which the phenomenon of leadership in adult educators' everyday practice is widespread, but rather, what educational leadership is and what it means as a feature of human life (Jardine, 1998). Phenomenology and the corner of this philosophical field referred to as interpretive inquiry, seeks not to explain why or even how we may practice leadership within our educational practices, but rather to understand the phenomenon and its living manifestations through the particular. Application: Understanding as Self-Understanding Arriving at a finite conclusion in an interpretive inquiry is difficult. At its best interpretation is open-ended and tentative. It cannot be rushed. Jardine (1998) suggests dwelling with a sense of boundlessness, holding certainty at bay on the one hand while on 177 the other, opening up a sense of possibility. To dwell and not to rush in with theory first (Forester, 1996) involves time, space, and patience. A t its heart, educational leadership is concerned with constructing worlds where people can come together to learn what is worthwhile. Yet there are many ways to be an educational leader, many notions of what learning is worthwhile, many educational leadership actions, and many paths to understanding this dimension of educational practice. The subject of educational leadership, encountered through the stories in conversations of educational practitioners, brings out of isolation and specificity our own pre-understandings of what it means to be an educational leader. Some of us, because of who we are - our capacities, talents, temperaments, and pre-dispositions - choose to stay in the background, and as a consequence our leadership is often unrecognized in the actions we take day to day directly with individual students. Others work in the foreground, perhaps further removed from the daily lives of students, but involved nevertheless in matters that touch these learners directly in areas such as instructor development, curriculum reform, institutional policy planning, program evaluation, and improvement of linkages between educational programs and labour markets. For those in the foreground in organizations, for example, the leadership dimension may be more developed, more apparent, and more intentional, and thus available for further growth and development. These stories in conversation with the co-narrators created a space to explore these pre-understandings not often given the necessary time or attention in day-to-day practice. One co-narrator expressed this importance: "I was pleased to see how my own thoughts and experiences were reflected in what the theory said and what the others said. 178 I felt validated..." Another sent a note thanking me for "the honour of participating in this research." The conversation provoked the quiet educators among us to see this heretofore undervalued or unnoticed dimension of practice in a new way. For others it was an opportunity to appreciate the diversity and commonality among us. Understanding the subject anew does not occur simply by being more informed about the subject; rather this understanding is transformative. Transformation involves a communion with the living subject in a living dialogue. It is through this living dialogue 9 that "we do not remain what we are" (Gadamer, 1989, p. 379 cited in Jardine, 1998). Interpretive inquiry, as it is concerned with ontological understandings, touches who we are and what we know ourselves to be. Creating texts from the interviews with each of my colleagues involved carefully sifting through the stories embedded in the transcripts. Further deciphering was carried out through sending and receiving emails and phones calls, additional face-to-face conversations over cups of tea and coffee and carrot muffins. I engaged in follow-up conversations with each co-narrator of their stories and understandings about educational leadership after their reading of the constructed conversation. I selected, edited, and constructed the conversation guided primarily by those stories that had a relationship to the subject of educational leadership, although initially the co-narrators may not have considered these leadership stories. Now, some months since the initial interviews, after the text has settled into these stories and conversations, I notice that my own reading of the text - the weaving, layering, and piecing together of these stories - continues to shift and expand my understanding of educational leadership. 179 Prior to this research I simply conflated the notion of leadership with 'rulership.' The study of traditional leadership, primarily concerned with political and organizational leadership, did not address me. This genre of literature appeared to me lifeless and abstract, dealing with "great men" holding positional authority. Clearly I did not belong to this category of leadership; I did not fit into this pre-given definition of an educational leader. Not a dean or director of programs, I do not administer or manage departmental budgets or define policy. 1 simply plan and design educative experiences for adult learners - on an individual and group level, or a provincial and national level. My own definition of who 1 was before this research did not include leader. Facilitator, educator, film director, yes, but I did not belong to this category called educational leader. This may be explained, in large part, by the cultural traditions in which I am embedded that have educators looking up within organizations to those people who manage and organize us, rather than those who ignite our imagination. We less frequently look to those colleagues beside us, whose practice of teaching, facilitating, guiding, researching, administering, and planning are also very much concerned with leading. We rarely speak of the moments of tension, doubt, or surefootedness embedded in the everyday that call for leadership. Less frequently still do we look to ourselves and see our own "leaderly" dimension, the moral authority present when we stand up, question, redirect, or reframe the attention of others in order to consider it anew, whether questions of pedagogy, curriculum, educative setting, or the lives of the adult learners we work with. Jane, who initially was firm in her belief that she was not an educational leader, said to me when she read a draft of the constructed conversation that: "We don't give ourselves credit for the leadership dimension of what we do. We don't take the time to reflect, we don't have the 180 time, and we have so few opportunities to think about these things." And so those instances that have educational leadership written all over them, go unspoken, unrecognized, undecipherable - lost to examination and to our own learning. Pre-understanding at Risk: Between the Familiar and the Strange - Educational leadership as a field of study appeared to me at first reading, fixed as I am in my own situatedness, to inadequately address the worldview among adult educators, whose enduring commitments are to self-direction, facilitation, and empowerment of others. Even among the small and eclectic group of practitioners of this study we have as many or more ways to talk about leadership and about education. We hold many assumptions about what we mean when we speak of educational leadership. The difficulty with the language of leadership is that it presupposes understandings that are not there. Clearly we enter the conversation knowing something about the subject but the question remains, when we speak of educational leaders are we speaking of weavers or philosopher kings? It is not an either/or question. Those of us in more traditional "leaderly-like" roles have much to learn from the quieter, more subtle stories of adult educators at the grass roots, who with quiet courage, resilience, persistence, and sensitivity face daily the complex worlds of their students. Those of us in the front lines of education, in classrooms, community centres, and neighbourhoods engaged in teaching and guiding would be enriched by capturing and constructing these instances of leadership, and recognizing the lessons they hold, and the possibilities of generating a greater sense of personal authority. For those of us who recognize the significance of teaching as leading, and educational leadership as leading conversations about what matters in adult education, we stand to gain a greater sense of our own possibilities. 181 The Language of Educational Leadership Returning to embedded meanings: Embedded in our common usage of words like education and leadership are meanings often distorted or lost over time. Returning to previously understood meaning is an alternative to disregarding, overlooking, or eliminating from our vocabulary what may seem to be such vague, baggy, and ill fitting a term as educational leadership. Reclaiming original meanings is yet another way to come to understand it anew. As I pointed to at the beginning of this study, the root meaning for pedagogue not only refers to a teacher of children, but also comes from pedagogos, or "one who walks beside." Beside. Not behind, not in front. Friends teaching friends, as 1 learned at 13 years old and relearned more than 30 years later. If we reclaim the original meaning of leader from the Latin "archien," meaning, "to begin," "to lead," and/ or, "to rule." Leadership is also rooted in the word "prattien" meaning, "to pass through," "to achieve," or "to finish" and "agere" which means "to set into motion" or "to lead," and "gerere" which means, "to bear." "Prattien" and "gerere" became the root words for action - words whose meanings are inextricably woven together with education and teaching (Arendt, 1958). Everyday language: What is the language of leadership used in this inquiry? The co-narrators use action words like facilitate, collaborate, take charge, set up, teach, find jobs, provide service, plan programs, design instruction, organize programs, revise policy, figure out, wrangle with meaning, give a helping hand, take risks, articulate what's important, set the tone, not shy away from conflict in institutions, poke a stick, carefully build budgets, scramble for money, go beyond the normal teaching practice, set an example, develop something new, show commitment, care, listen, create opportunities, 182 make substantial differences, empower others to act, guide, motivate, be the middle person, support, make decisions, recognize the need, name the dance, convince, meet constantly, develop working relationships, steer, help others see things they may not know about, translate needs into actions, intervene, encourage, request feedback, multitask in public, speak up, express convictions, champ at the bit, express something new, create new partnerships, share successes, be real and show the cracks, take off the mask, articulate a vision, attend to administrative detail, jump in, get help, don't turn a blind eye, read the situation accurately, be an example, recognize and develop talents, orchestrate, have a feel for group dynamics, be inspired by tradition, step back, take people with me. And as our stories suggest, we take leadership action with: reluctance, humility, intuition, respect, a huge sense of possibility, imagination, judgement, authority, courage, sensitivity, enthusiasm, fairness, compassion, self-awareness, kindness, patience, resistance to conventionalities, and love. Metaphors for education: When we speak of education, too, a multitude of images, metaphors, and evocative senses of teaching and learning come to mind. Words and phrases include: become job ready, develop skills, develop understanding, give [the students] a lift, get [the students] back on their feet, transformation, effect society in positive ways, growth and blossoming of confidence, develop lifelong learners, develop different ways of thinking, figure out what you want people to learn, pose the questions, not offer the answer, a path to world peace, create supportive and challenging space, develop self-awareness, push people to go beyond, recognize the various ways people learn, know what you're talking about, provide good information, offer an opportunity for reflection and practice. 183 Education involves arduous and careful preparation; it is invisible, and it is more than content. Metaphors for teaching and learning include: friends teaching friends, walking tall, a gradual unfolding, creating new partnerships, building things, seeing the flicker of possibility, creating from an empty space, a gradual unfolding, magic moments. The senses are also evoked - sadness, emptiness, sorrow, joy, and hope. In our various educational sites who we are as adult educators concerns us a great deal too. Through our stories we seem to say that we value educational leaders who are responsive and engaged, encouraging, enthusiastic, compassionate, broad-minded, extroverted, responsible, expansive, positive, interested, and skilled craftspeople. These are people dedicated to: building self-esteem, questioning conventions, seeing potential in others, opening up horizons, going beyond technique, showing solidarity, taking care with details, and respecting diverse perspectives. Educators as leaders recognize teaching as an honour, as a way to express wonder, and to elucidate meaning. They also demonstrate the diversity of emotion and care of a teacher/leader through intimacy, vulnerability, independence, loneliness, weariness, optimism, connection, strength, and the courage to show their authentic self through their integrity, consistency in word and deed, and love. Love of subject and love of student. As adult educators we practice in a broadly based, yet unified, field, often not even recognizing how similar are the challenges we share. Those in this study have overlapping responsibilities as contract workers, career facilitators, trainers, choreographers, artistic directors, administrators, instructors, consultants, visual artists, managers, planners, producers, and more. On the surface it seems we have little in common. When our stories remain separate and apart from the others, our concerns, 184 struggles and questions are ours alone. Through conversation we understand ourselves as connected to this larger realm of adult educators who are teacher/leaders trying in our own ways to create opportunities for conversation about what is happening in education -what matters and what it means. Constrained by tradition: What prevents us from realizing our educational leadership? Our stories illuminate what happens when we have to withhold our deepest beliefs, when we experience a disjuncture between public and private life and are left feeling like heretics. Constrained by traditions, many of us are put off formal leadership positions because they seem "too much of a scripted role." Some observe how organizational leaders appear to have to sacrifice too much, to bear too much alone. Yet even the lone teacher in the classroom experiences the weight of responsibility and desires opportunities to share these experiences with colleagues and to break from this isolation. There are also those educators or managers of educational programs who do not inspire: they try to control all areas, are not able to delegate, do not have faith in others, stretch limits and set no visible standards, tend to play it safe, are too literal, too directive, fear appearing foolish, are shy of conflict, and lack understanding. There are so many walls keeping us apart. So many walls, these stories tell us, some due to the limitations of our mindscapes, or because our location obscures our vision, or because the complexity and ambiguity of situations are beyond our knowing. These walls prevent us from understanding what is going on, what matters, and what to do about it. Our individual stories shared and challenged in conversation with each other are an attempt at wholeness. Our stories brought together give us a picture of the whole that alone is not possible. Brought together, these stories are the basis of a critically 185 reflective practice (Brookfield, 1995, 2000) and help us 'realize the contextuality of all practice and the limitations of universal templates..." (Brookfield, 2000, p. 47). I am in no rush to reduce these stories and their meanings further to narrow-categories and themes. Taking time to dwell in these particular instances and in this dwelling to teach each other and ourselves about our capacities or limitations to teach, to lead, and to act, is at the heart of interpretive work. To understand requires time to dwell with the inter-connectedness of these stories and the way they help us recognize and challenge what we know about educational leadership. The stories illuminate the parts of this whole called educational leadership. This view is supported by educational leadership research.12 In the space between the familiar and the strange, such differences are constitutive of understanding. Understanding influences action. And what remains, as Kant suggests, is to have the courage to act in accord with one's understanding. Courage to face the world as it is perhaps does not have to involve risking one's life on the battle field, but no less heroic are the situated educational leaders involved in challenging prejudices and received wisdom, taking risks with new teaching practices and program models, revamping policies and eliminating unworkable procedures, taking a genuine interest in their students' lives, redirecting attention to what matters. Teaching and leading. Such Scott (1999) suggests that educational leadership involves a way of thinking as well as having particular knowledge and skills. According to this view educational leaders: see each situation as both a unique case and as potentially similar to previous ones; prepare for and manage change by accurately reading and matching well developed repertoire of diagnostic maps; have a flexible imagination and allow for thinking on their feet, reflect on action; have the capacity for thinking different things through, tracing out the consequences of different possibilities; get to the nub of the problems and anticipates upcoming difficulties; learn effectively from experiences; direct ongoing professional learning. Educational leaders are self-managed professional learners who: understand and can work with the dynamics of change process; know key influences which may have to be taken into account; understand the nature and process of learning program design, implementation and evaluation; understand the dynamics and tactics of workplace action research; know how to document and disseminate outcomes of each change effort; look outward to the future and inward to the present; have skills to deal with effectively involving, negotiating with and delegating to key players in the change process; use communication skills suited to formal and informal contexts; create and sustain constructive work environment; understand the process of teaching and learning; know tactics to promote effective learning; and use technology to enhance efficiency in work and professional learning. 186 educators are a source of illumination in "dark times" when democracy, justice, and equality are at stake. That even in the darkest of times we have the right to expect some illumination, and that such illumination may well come less from theories and concepts than from the uncertain, flickering, and often weak light that some men and women, in their lives and their works, will kindle under almost all circumstances and shed over the time span that was given them on earth. (Arendt, 1958, p. x) This illumination, at times humble, requires a certain amount of openness to examine critically and learn from past action in an effort to act wisely. To do good work as adult educators "we must consistently involve others - particularly learners and colleagues - as commentators on our efforts" (Brookfield, 2000, p.47). Courage in educational leadership involves being willing to risk one's own prejudices when faced with a fuller understanding. The Role of Narrative in Understanding Everyday Lived Exper ience E n m e s h e d in Narrative: While interpreting the stories I moved from the particular - the co-narrators' experiences and my own - from theory to practice, from external to internal authority; the stories breathing life into the subject of educational leadership. While constructing, reading, and re-reading the texts, dwelling with the stories, turning them over in my mind, asking friends and colleagues if they had a story about a teacher who made an imprint, or recalled a moment in teaching or learning that shone for them, or made them weep, I have become enmeshed in their complex and ambiguous meanings. With these stories comes the possibility to know ourselves more profoundly (Arendt, 1958). As the stories play out and I follow their possible meanings, I hear the voices of the co-narrators and I try out a phrase from the constructed conversation. 187 "When I begin a project I begin with humility," says Jennifer, the artistic director. And as I begin a new educational design project I say to myself, "How can I hold my own pre-understandings apart while I listen for the other's story of what matters?" "It was a dream come true," says Pamela about her participation in a workshop. I repeat these words to myself as I plan a program. "In what way can this program contribute to improving this world? How can I make this program a dream come true for another?" A grand statement perhaps, yet understood anew, it is reclaimed as a mantra for what education should and can be. Or as Anya says as she helps a battered and sexually assaulted student, "[That student] gave me courage...I took my courage from her." How much courage have I gained from hearing and retelling and constructing the stories of my co-narrators? And compassion. I am moved when Murray describes his search for "a flicker of possibility" in the struggling clients he works with in the hospitality-training program and when he describes the deep sob that wells up in him when another of his clients finds a work placement. In these phrases lie powerful metaphoric images that have altered my worldview, not because of what I know, but by what I have come to understand through these living and breathing instances. I am genuinely confronted and challenged when I replay Murdock's words as he fields my invitation to recall a leadership moment in his teaching and planning practice. His understanding of educational leadership is not so closely tied to everyday teaching. "That's redundant," he said. Redundant, I wonder? Is it unnecessary, excessive, or tautological to say that teaching is leading? What can be learned from such a characterization? I struggled to provide a justification for reclaiming the everyday, embedded acts of educational leadership and to hold them up for the possibilities I see in 188 them. Perhaps for him the meaning of educational leadership is clearer than for most because of the position that he holds. But in the space between my horizon and his, I learn something more about educational leadership. There is so much that is generative for further conversation, analysis, and interpretation in these stories, e.g., transparency in decision-making, metaphors for a vocation, demonstrations of courage and humility. The stories are pedagogically rich; generative of new understandings. Metaphors of opening blossoms, empty rooms awaiting the creation of a dance, a new program graduate walking tall, the wild haired and extroverted art teacher, fearlessly poking at crusty institutions. These images illustrate a shared culture of educators who see their work as contributing to change and growth of the individual through an educative experience with an awareness too, that systems and structures and traditions need changing and renewal to accommodate emerging understandings of what is needed in adult education. I have been awakened to my own experience through narrative telling, in conversation with colleagues and the theories and perceptions of others. I have taken to heart C. Wright Mi l l s ' (1970) who urges us to use our life experience in our intellectual work to guide and test our reflection and in the process shape ourselves. I return again to this life experience to guide and test my understanding of how intentional conversations figure as a dimension of educational leadership. From N o r t h e r n Vancouver I s l a n d t o B o l i v i a and Back: I n t e n t i o n a l C o n v e r s a t i o n s i n E d u c a t i o n a l L e a d e r s h i p On the most n o r t h e r n end of Vancouver I s l a n d communities r e l y p r i m a r i l y on the f o r e s t , more t h a n e v e r now t h a t f i s h i n g and m i n i n g a r e a c t i v i t i e s o f t h e p a s t . R e c e n t l y many j o b s have been l o s t c a u s i n g massive economic 189 and s o c i a l problems t h a t are immediate and s e v e r e . People are l e a v i n g the r e g i o n i n l a r g e numbers. Youth are h a v i n g d i f f i c u l t y coming t o terms w i t h the change i n h i s t o r i c ways of making a l i v i n g , d e s p a i r i n g t h a t t h e r e ' s no f u t u r e based i n the o l d ways of f i s h i n g , h u n t i n g , and f o r a g i n g . "We are r u n n i n g out of time on t h e N o r t h I s l a n d . E v e r y day b u s i n e s s e s are c l o s i n g and what we don't need i s a n o t h e r s t u d y of the problem," the community economic development o f f i c i a l says p l a i n l y . " S i t t i n g i n my o f f i c e r i g h t now I have s i x boxes of r e p o r t s -- t o o numerous t o count -- documenting our economic t r o u b l e s . What we need now i s a c t i o n . " Can u n i v e r s i t y r e s e a r c h r espond t o the immediate and l o n g - t e r m problems of communities such as t h e s e ? R e c e n t l y , my r o l e a t the u n i v e r s i t y was t o r e a c h out and e x p l o r e some i d e a s about how a u n i v e r s i t y community r e s e a r c h a l l i a n c e c o u l d s e r v e t h i s s o c i a l l y and e c o n o m i c a l l y h i t r e g i o n . I c a r r y out my work from a l o c a t i o n a t the b o r d e r s : a t the-b o r d e r o f t h e u n i v e r s i t y - I am on a s m a l l r e s e a r c h c o n t r a c t - and at the b o r d e r of the community i t s e l f . I have t r a v e l e d t o t h e r e g i o n o n l y t w i c e t h i s y ear t o meet and t a l k w i t h p e o p l e . I am b o t h the d e s i g n e r and c o n s t r u c t o r of t h e s e c o n v e r s a t i o n s and t h e messenger between t h e s e two w o r l d s . The w e a r i n e s s f e l t among the p e o p l e i n the r e g i o n i s e v i d e n t . "We are t i r e d of b e i n g the o b j e c t s of u n i v e r s i t y r e s e a r c h . I f you want t o be i n v o l v e d i n the r e g i o n we need t o ' b u i l d a house t o g e t h e r ' and work on p r o j e c t s t h a t c o n t r i b u t e t o the immediate needs of t h e r e g i o n . " An i m p o r t a n t and h o p e f u l message I b r i n g back t o the u n i v e r s i t y i s , t h a t "Yes, the r e g i o n i s i n t e r e s t e d i n w o r k i n g w i t h t h e u n i v e r s i t y t o advance a m u t u a l l y agreed upon r e s e a r c h agenda where outcomes c r e a t e an economic development c a p a c i t y i n the r e g i o n . " I am t o l d t h a t t h e e x p e r t i s e , knowledge, and s k i l l s o f the u n i v e r s i t y are needed and welcomed here, but not a t any p r i c e . A f i s h e r i e s s p e c i a l i s t from the r e g i o n says i t b e s t . "We r e c o g n i z e t h a t b a s i c r e s e a r c h does b e n e f i t the community, however, we don't j u s t want a l l t h e f u n d i n g t o go t o t h e u n i v e r s i t y r e s e a r c h e r s and n o t h i n g t o l o c a l p e o p l e . We want t o see the r e s e a r c h b u i l d i n g the c a p a c i t y i n the r e g i o n . " Many of the p e o p l e I meet i n the town of P o r t M c N e i l l have t r a v e l e d a l l day from around t h e N o r t h I s l a n d r e g i o n t o t a l k . We t a l k about the p o s s i b i l i t i e s and the c o n c e r n s . They seem r e c e p t i v e t o the emerging concept of a U n i v e r s i t y / N o r t h I s l a n d " C o l l a b o r a t i v e I n q u i r y F i e l d S c h o o l " i n which l o c a l p e o p l e , teamed w i t h u n i v e r s i t y r e s e a r c h e r s have o p p o r t u n i t i e s t o r e s e a r c h and d e v e l o p v i a b l e o p e r a t i o n s such as s h e l l f i s h p r o d u c t i o n , c h a r c o a l e x t r a c t i o n , t o u r i s m impact s t u d y , among o t h e r i d e a s . They say t h a t t h i s i s a good way t o b u i l d the r e s e a r c h c a p a c i t y o f p e o p l e i n the r e g i o n , t o d i r e c t r e s e a r c h toward s p e c i f i c i n t e r e s t s , a good way f o r us t o " b u i l d a house t o g e t h e r . " I keep t h i s p h r ase i n mind as a g u i d i n g metaphor f o r what I am t r y i n g t o c r e a t e . The Canadian w r i t e r Matt Cohen wrote i n h i s memoir s h o r t l y b e f o r e he d i e d t h a t "One of the most d i f f i c u l t t h i n g s i n w r i t i n g i s t o d i s c o v e r what one i s t a k i n g f o r g r a n t e d . The s t r a n g e t h i n g about b l i n d e r s i s t h a t t h e y are i n v i s i b l e t o the wearer, u n t i l something unexpected happens" (Cohen, 2000, p. 219-220). I get b l i n d s i d e d when I t a k e f o r g r a n t e d , i n t h i s e a r l y stage of a p l a n n i n g p r o j e c t , t h a t once an i d e a i s p r e s e n t e d and g i v e n a warm r e c e p t i o n , I can get on w i t h my ' r e a l ' work, which i s t o p l a n the program. I n s t e a d what i s r e a l l y needed i s a huge amount o f t a l k i n g t h r o u g h w i t h a l a r g e number o f p e o p l e . I get b l i n d s i d e d when I f o r g e t the b l i n k e r s t h a t keep me f o c u s e d on my own v i s i o n of the p r o j e c t and f a i l t o c o n s i d e r the l e a d e r s h i p d i m e n s i o n of my program p l a n n i n g p r a c t i c e . Because of my p o s i t i o n I have a c c e s s t o the whole messy, b i g p i c t u r e - the macro p e r s p e c t i v e - and y e t w i t h i n my r o l e as p l a n n e r , as e d u c a t i o n a l d e s i g n e r , as c o n c e p t u a l t h i n k e r , my power t o a c t i s embedded i n my e x p e r t i s e , i t does not come w i t h the p o s i t i o n . I f t h i s p r o j e c t i s t o succeed I must come out o f my own w o r l d , my own h o r i z o n , and m a r s h a l my communication s k i l l s t o b r i n g t h e v a r i o u s i n t e r e s t s around t h e v i r t u a l t a b l e t o work out t o g e t h e r what ought t o be done and who w i l l t a k e on what p i e c e . I t ' s not enough t o have a w i n n i n g , i n n o v a t i v e , ground b r e a k i n g c o n c e p t . What i s r e q u i r e d now i s t o communicate the p o s s i b i l i t i e s , f i n d the money t o make t h i s happen and c o n t i n u e t o b r i n g b o t h u n i v e r s i t y and community a l o n g t o g e t h e r . The p r o p o s a l has been sent out i n the form of a l e t t e r o f i n t e n t f o r r e q u e s t s f o r f u n d i n g "Phase One." Take c a r e , I say t o m y s e l f , not t o t h i n k of t h i s u n d e r t a k i n g s o l e l y i n terms of a p l a n n i n g a c t i v i t y ; don't f o r g e t t h a t one c r i t i c a l element - e d u c a t i o n a l l e a d e r s h i p . Without r e c o g n i z i n g t h i s s i t u a t e d l e a d e r s h i p r o l e I w i l l f a i l t o a t t e n d t o a number of o t h e r i m p o r t a n t elements. The most i m p o r t a n t o f which i s t o c o n t i n u o u s l y t a l k w i t h p e o p l e about what i s p o s s i b l e - t a l k w i t h u n i v e r s i t y f a c u l t y , t a l k w i t h p e o p l e i n the community who are most k e e n l y i n t e r e s t e d i n t h i s p r o j e c t , t a l k t o p o t e n t i a l f u n d e r s about what i t c o u l d l o o k l i k e , about the p o s s i b l e s t r u c t u r e • a n d c o n t e n t of such an u n d e r t a k i n g . My j o b i s t o b r e a t h e l i f e i n t o the p r o j e c t ; t o animate the p r o c e s s , g i v e i t d i r e c t i o n but t h i s second element i n v o l v e s l i s t e n i n g v e r y c l o s e l y t o the c o n c e r n s , the i d e a s , and the o f f e r s of h e l p , and t o a t t e n d t o the i n t e r e s t s . B e i n g i n t e n t i o n a l i n my own l e a d e r s h i p i s c r i t i c a l . P a r k e r Palmer (1998) s u g g e s t s t h a t t h e power t o r e f l e c t and t o re-member our s t o r i e s i s concerned not j u s t w i t h r e c a l l i n g a few f a c t s of our l i v e s , but " p u t t i n g our l i v e s back t o g e t h e r , r e c o v e r i n g i d e n t i t y and i n t e g r i t y and r e c l a i m i n g the wholeness of our l i v e s " (p. 2 0 ) . Re-membering i s one way t o a t t e n d t o t h e b l i n k e r s . And t o connect the d i s p a r a t e p i e c e s of e x p e r i e n c e , of what happened and what i t means. I go back t o a c o n v e r s a t i o n from the f a l l o f 1981, i n the e a r l y days of my two-year s t a y i n B o l i v i a j u s t b e f o r e I b e g i n c o n t r a c t work f o r the U n i t e d N a t i o n s and l a t e r o t h e r non-governmental development a g e n c i e s . I'm i n La Paz and w h i l e w a i t i n g f o r my f i r s t assignment, b e g i n v o l u n t e e r i n g at t h e I n s t i t u t e f o r C h i l d Development. The D i r e c t o r of the I n s t i t u t e , O l i v i a Brown, i s a B o l i v i a n woman I have met t h r o u g h the UN o f f i c e i n La Paz. D e l i c a t e , d e t e r m i n e d , and calm, w i t h a f a c e of a g o l d e n brown a n g e l , O l i v i a i s m a r r i e d t o an Englishman who works f o r the World Food Programme, one of the many UN a g e n c i e s i n t h e c o u n t r i e s . They have f o u r c h i l d r e n ; one i s s t i l l a baby. The I n s t i t u t e i s a g rey, n o n d e s c r i p t c o n c r e t e , t h r e e - s t o r y b u i l d i n g l o c a t e d on the o u t s k i r t s of La Paz, on t h e edge of a b a r r i o - an urban slum. The c o l d n e s s of the cement w a l l s i s i n s t a r k c o n t r a s t t o the warmth of dense B o u g a i n v i l l e a v i n e s t h a t c l i n g t o the w a l l s of the i n n e r c o u r t y a r d . As I r e p o r t t o her each day I n o t i c e her i n d e f a t i g a b l e c a p a c i t y f o r work, her h i g h - e n e r g y , and e s p e c i a l l y the k i n d n e s s , p a t i e n c e , and c a r e w i t h which she g r e e t s and meets p a r e n t s , c h i l d r e n , and employees. She seems t o be i n m o t i o n a l l day l o n g . My assignment i s t o p l a y w i t h the c h i l d r e n i n the day program - s i n g songs, p l a y s i m p l e c l a p p i n g games, as w e l l as s e t up a c t i v i t i e s t h a t i n v o l v e drawing, paper c u t t i n g and p a s t i n g . I q u i t e q u i c k l y overcome my shyness about s p e a k i n g my u n i v e r s i t y - l e a r n e d S p a n i s h w i t h t h e s e d e l i g h t f u l c h i l d r e n . The days I spend t h e r e are b l u r r e d t o g e t h e r now but I remember one day, around 10 AM, when the c h i l d r e n are h a v i n g t h e i r mid morning snack and r e s t t i m e . O l i v i a i n v i t e s me t o s i t w i t h her i n the c o u r t y a r d . She wants t o t a l k t o me about r u r a l development because I l e a v e soon on assignment w i t h UNICEF t o the A l t i p l a n o r e g i o n of P o t o s i . We s i t s i d e by s i d e , s i p p i n g our t e a i n s i l e n c e . My a t t e n t i o n i s f o c u s e d on her f a c e . She l o o k s t i r e d . Dark c i r c l e s b r u s h the s k i n under her eyes. She speaks t o me i n S p a n i s h . "You know t h a t the I n s t i t u t e a t t e n d s t o c h i l d r e n whose p a r e n t s work i n the markets, as l a b o r e r s , housekeepers, and "empleados." They are r u r a l p e o p l e ; " I n d i g e n o s " r e c e n t l y a r r i v e d t o the c i t y t o work, because t h e i r own v i l l a g e s cannot s u s t a i n them any l o n g e r . Here i n La Paz t h e y f i n d work but t h e y l i v e i n the b a r r i o s o u t s i d e of t h e c i t y , urban slums w i t h o u t decent s e r v i c e s - water, e l e c t r i c i t y , roads or garbage c o l l e c t i o n . " "The c h i l d r e n seem q u i t e happy t o me," I o f f e r , not f u l l y making the c o n n e c t i o n between t h i s urban I n s t i t u t e ' s work and the problems of r u r a l p o v e r t y . On a b l a n k sheet of paper i n her notebook she b e g i n s t o draw c o n c e n t r i c c i r c l e s , one i n s i d e the o t h e r , l i n k i n g t h e o u t e r c i r c l e t o the i n n e r c i r c l e w i t h arrows. "The c h i l d r e n i n our day program r e c e i v e t h e b e s t p o s s i b l e - h e l p a t a time i n t h e i r l i v e s when t h e y most need i t . B r e a k f a s t and l u n c h , r e c r e a t i o n , music, r e s t , and s o c i a l i z a t i o n ; a l l of t h i s s t i m u l a t i o n g i v e s t h e s e c h i l d r e n the chance t o break t h e c y c l e of p o v e r t y t h e y are born i n t o . A c y c l e t h a t o r i g i n a t e s i n the r u r a l a r e a s . " " I ' v e seen many c h i l d r e n , t o d d l e r s r e a l l y , b e i n g c a r r i e d on t h e i r mother's back o r p l a y i n g on the d u s t y f l o o r s of market s t a l l , " I say. "The c h i l d r e n who grow up i n the ' b a r r i o s ' go t o work from an e a r l y age, as b a b i e s t h e y are o f t e n l e f t t o p l a y a l o n e or a t t e n d e d by a young s i b l i n g f o r hours a t a time w h i l e t h e i r mothers work. The c o n d i t i o n s of t h e i r l i v e s put them a t r i s k o f m a l n u t r i t i o n , l i f e l o n g r e s p i r a t o r y i l l n e s s e s , and l e a r n i n g d i f f i c u l t i e s - many have f e t a l a l c o h o l e f f e c t , a problem t h a t i s m u l t i g e n e r a t i o n a l . Our programs t a r g e t t h e s e most needy c h i l d r e n and as you see t h e y respond v e r y w e l l i n t h i s environment. But t h e s o u r c e o f the problem and the r e a l need f o r change i s l o c a t e d i n the r u r a l a r e a s . W ithout r u r a l economic development t h e p o p u l a t i o n w i l l c o n t i n u e t o m i g r a t e t o t h e c i t i e s , the " b a r r i o s " w i l l c o n t i n u e t o o v e r f l o w , and the c i r c l e o f p o v e r t y w i l l remain unbroken." As she speaks the hum of a c t i v i t i e s i n t h e I n s t i t u t e f a l l away t o a background murmur. O l i v i a ' s v o i c e i s q u i e t and u n d e r l i n e d w i t h f o r c e . Urgent. P a t i e n t . She's t a k i n g time w i t h me. " T h i s i s i m p o r t a n t . I need t o get t h i s , " I say t o m y s e l f . Now y e a r s a f t e r r e t u r n i n g t o Canada from my work i n r u r a l economic development i n B o l i v i a and t h e n i n Colombia t h i s c o n v e r s a t i o n s t a y s w i t h me; not j u s t t h e words t h a t 194 were spoken, but a l s o the i n t e n t i o n a l n a t u r e o f the c o n v e r s a t i o n . A l e s s o n i n m i g r a t i o n , economics, and development i n f o r m s my work t h a t f o l l o w s l a t e r . O l i v i a ' s q u i e t and e n e r g e t i c l e a d e r s h i p , no l e s s p o w e r f u l f o r i t s -g e n t l e approach, i s a guide and model t h a t I t a k e t o the remotest reaches o f B o l i v i a t o work w i t h l e a d e r s o f f o o d coops and s m a l l economic e n t e r p r i s e s , s u p p o r t i n g t h e i r e f f o r t s t o o r g a n i z e , p l a n and implement income g e n e r a t i n g p r o j e c t s ; t o e s t a b l i s h a r u r a l women's l e a d e r s h i p i n s t i t u t e w i t h my B o l i v i a n c o u n t e r p a r t s , and l a t e r t o manage f o o d a i d p r o j e c t s i n Colombia. O l i v i a ' s words c o n t i n u e t o frame my u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f what i s i m p o r t a n t and why i t i s n e c e s s a r y . And she t a u g h t me about t a k i n g t he time w i t h i n d i v i d u a l s t o have i n t e n t i o n a l c o n v e r s a t i o n s about the purpose and meaning o f our work t o g e t h e r . W r i t i n g about t h i s i n s t a n c e i s t o attempt t o u n d e r s t a n d my t r a d i t i o n , i n t h e Gadamerian sense, t o r e v e a l my b l i n k e r s i n Matt Cohen's sense, and t o b r i n g t h i s u n d e r s t a n d i n g t o bear on p r e s e n t c h a l l e n g e s . And so back t o toda y and the c o n v e r s a t i o n about t h e U n i v e r s i t y / N o r t h I s l a n d C o l l a b o r a t i v e I n q u i r y F i e l d S c h o o l . For t h i s p r o j e c t t o move f o r w a r d , t o be more t h a n a p o s s i b i l i t y , I need t o have many such t a l k s , t o t h i n k out l o u d w i t h whoever may be a b l e t o l e n d s u p p o r t , t o shape the concept, and then- t o t a k e c o n c e r t e d a c t i o n t o f i n d t he r e s o u r c e s t o make i t happen. I h o l d O l i v i a ' s words c l o s e as I c o n s i d e r t h a t t he f u t u r e o f N o r t h I s l a n d i s our f u t u r e t o o . Stories of Educational Leadership - A Family Resemblance? My dilemma now is to construct some kind of order from all these narratives, metaphors, uncertainties, and questions. In the dialectic of moving from the private to the public, the practice to the theory, the significance of the everyday situatedness becomes the context for learning. 195 Learning to listen: Writing and remembering the moments in practice makes it possible for new understandings to emerge through a systematic returning to experience (Griffith, 1995). Telling stories from our personal and professional lives and listening "for" stories has helped me research the living practice of leadership in my adult education practice. The stories in this study are more than simply a collection of instances of educational leadership about the impact and influence of mentors, teachers and colleagues on our own educational leadership or the challenges and tensions inherent in educational practice. "[These] striking instances make a claim on us and open up and reveal something to us about our lives together" (Jardine, 1998, p.40) and in doing so, make a claim to truth. These stories provide a way into experience - both familiar and strange - that capture the complexities and puzzles of practice and offer up meanings and possible responses. Many stories, some no more than a gesture or a metaphor, others more commentary and analysis than description and resolution, some with happy endings, others with ongoing struggles not easily resolved, all provide a way into understanding what educational leadership is and what it means. These stories of educational leadership are not intended to be "objects that are fixed, closed and definitively defined" but are generative of understanding creative, humble, and courageous educational leadership that "warrant further investigation" (Jardine, 1998). The stories, my own and those of the co-narrators, documented and reconstructed in this study address, in their own particular ways, the central concerns of educational leadership proposed as a heuristic framework at the onset of this research: being open and responsive to change (Apps, 1994); adult education as a vocation (Collins, 1991); rethinking teaching practices and enhancing learning strategies (hooks, 1994); connecting 196 identity and integrity, and challenging received ideas and mentalities (Palmer, 1998); articulating ideals as the basis for an educator's moral authority (Sergiovanni, 2000); and intentionally creating "force fields" or other "spaces" where people can learn (Wheatley, 1994). The co-narrators's stories are testaments to the power of narrative reflection to bring to the surface matters that most concern, trouble, confound or delight us. Within our everyday lives as adult educators our leadership involves the discernment of the true sources of the difficulties in education - the "original difficulties" as Caputo (2000), following Gadamer, suggests. In other words, it is not that we must simply choose between two competing goods - which is the essence of a dilemma - but we struggle, at times, to know what is really going on. Theses stories suggest that educational leadership is to name, shape, point to, and act upon what troubles us in the lives of our students, the curriculum, evaluation methods, credentials, prior learning assessment, programs, policies, research, relationships with colleagues and the interpretation of theories. Educational leadership: An intentional stance: The stories told by educators of their encounters with leadership have enticed and invited me to find my own stories and in so doing activate the leadership dimension of my practice that has been lying dormant. Taking a more intentional stance with my leadership actions involves expanding my understanding of what is part of a leadership repertoire to include a wide awake stance, an ethical imagination (Greene, 1995), and an eye for possibilities. The purpose of telling stories is not just to assert a point of view, "but of being transformed into a communion in which we don't remain what we were" (Gadamer, 1989, p. 379). Writing and re-interpreting "How I Learned to Sew," "Frozen in Bogota," "Vulnerable Leadership," "A Winter in Winnipeg," "Intentional Conversations," and the 197 following story, "Street Phronesis: A Moment in Program Planning Leadership" combined with the stories in conversations of my co-narrators has changed who I am and the mental maps I hold. M y understanding has expanded and shifted; modes that no longer fit are sloughed off. This final personal/professional narrative, "Street Phronesis," was initially inspired by Apps (1994) who says, in Leadership for the Emerging Age, it is important not only to reflect on what caused you the most strife, anxiety or pain, or what situation caught you off guard and compelled you to act decisively, but to also learn from writing a "personal best" story. I take Apps ' point, but rather than calling this a personal best, I prefer the notion of "street phronesis" (McKenzie, 1991) because it captures the notion of practice as action in real time and takes into account not only the application of skills and knowledge, but a complex mix of presence of mind and judgment to act in a given situation. The story is a light in my memory, linking me to what is salient, important, and memorable (Baddeley, 1997) about the leadership dimension of practice. S t r e e t P h r o n e s i s - A Moment i n Program P l a n n i n g L e a d e r s h i p The H e a l t h Canada-Open L e a r n i n g Agency p r o j e c t i s at a s t a n d s t i l l . A p r o v i n c i a l a d v i s o r y committee and our p r o j e c t d e s i g n team have met s e v e r a l t i m e s t o de t e r m i n e the scope o f the p r o j e c t (the o b j e c t i v e s were s e t p r i o r t o H e a l t h Canada c o n t r a c t i n g OLA). The o b j e c t i v e s o f t h e p r o j e c t are t o d e v e l o p a ' t r a i n t h e t r a i n e r ' program f o r o u t r e a c h workers who work w i t h s o c i o - e c o n o m i c a l l y h i g h r i s k p r egnant and post- p a r t u m , a l s o r e f e r r e d t o as p e r i n a t a l , women. As program d e s i g n e r and w r i t e r my r o l e i s t o shape the program and work w i t h Pam, a p r e n a t a l n u t r i t i o n i s t and Diane, a p e r i n a t a l n u r s i n g c a r e i n s t r u c t o r . Together we have many y e a r s o f e x p e r i e n c e . The p r o j e c t manager f o r OLA 198 i s P e t e r , a man i n h i s e a r l y 60s. He had worked f o r many ye a r s as a c o r p o r a t e t r a i n e r . He i s an o r g a n i z e d and e f f i c i e n t manager and i s the " p o i n t man" f o r n e g o t i a t i n g t h e c o n t r a c t w i t h H e a l t h Canada and h i r i n g our team. He i s a l s o the o n l y man s i t t i n g around the p l a n n i n g t a b l e t h a t i n c l u d e s t h r e e n u t r i t i o n i s t s , an a b o r i g i n a l n u r s e , the p o l i c y a n a l y s t from the M i n i s t r y of H e a l t h and the H e a l t h Canada program manager f o r m a t e r n a l i n f a n t n u t r i t i o n programs. I n s p i t e of h a v i n g h e l d a c o n s u l t a t i o n workshop l a s t month w i t h the e x p e r t s i n the f i e l d from around the p r o v i n c e , and c r e a t i n g an e x t e n s i v e l i s t i n g o f l e a r n i n g o b j e c t i v e s and p r i o r i t i e s , t h e r e seems t o be a vacuum i n the p r o j e c t , and our s m a l l team i s f l o u n d e r i n g . P e t e r , who I had e x p e c t e d t o be more of the command and c o n t r o l l e a d e r of our p r o j e c t , i s s u r p r i s i n g l y a c q u i e s c e n t when i t comes t o t h e c o n t e n t s of the program. I suppose t h i s i s as i t s h o u l d be; he i s t a k i n g c a r e of the a d m i n i s t r a t i v e d e t a i l s , and l e a v i n g the r e s t t o the team. There are some s t i r r i n g s among th e committee members and an u n d e r l y i n g t e n s i o n t h a t I c a n ' t put my f i n g e r on. My i n s t i n c t t e l l s me t h a t the next m e e t i n g i s an o p p o r t u n i t y t o move t o a c t i o n and b e g i n the d e s i g n and w r i t i n g p r o c e s s . I t ' s time f o r me t o t a k e t h e l e a d i n the p l a n n i n g p r o c e s s - something I am more tha n c a p a b l e of d o i n g , h a v i n g managed and l e d many such p r o j e c t s over the y e a r s . So w i t h o u t p r o m o t i n g from P e t e r I b e g i n t o p r e p a r e f o r the meeting t h o r o u g h l y , c o n s u l t i n g the c o n t e n t e x p e r t s and r e v i e w i n g i n d e t a i l the notes from our c o n s u l t a t i o n m e e t i n g . There i s a l o t o f d a t a and even though I am not q u i t e ready t o commit t o a d e s i g n - I p r e f e r t o spend more time r e a d i n g and r e v i e w i n g the c o n t e n t i n f o r m a t i o n where I can t a k e my i n s p i r a t i o n - I b e l i e v e t h a t i f some framework f o r the t r a i n i n g i s not put f o r w a r d , the committee, and p a r t i c u l a r l y t h e program d i r e c t o r f o r H e a l t h Canada, w i l l l o s e c o n f i d e n c e i n our team and our momentum w i l l f a l t e r . On the morning of the meeting t h e a d v i s o r y group committee and our team are s i t t i n g around a l a r g e 199 c o n f e r e n c e b o a r d t a b l e . The l i g h t i n g i s h a r s h and b r i g h t . I t ' s e a r l y morning, p e o p l e appear t i r e d , and nobody i s s a y i n g much. We seem t o be s e a t e d v e r y f a r away from each o t h e r . As u s u a l , t h e woman from H e a l t h Canada i s b l o w i n g her nose - she seems t o have a p e r p e t u a l c o l d , . o n e t h a t l a s t s t he d u r a t i o n of the e n t i r e six-month l i f e o f the p r o j e c t . P e t e r hasn't s u g g e s t e d any p a r t i c u l a r s t r a t e g y f o r the meeting, t h e agenda i s wide open but I have come p r e p a r e d w i t h what I see as a good p r e l i m i n a r y p l a n . A f t e r opening n i c e t i e s I d i s t r i b u t e t h e p l a n and r e v i e w the v a r i o u s components. " P l e a s e f e e l f r e e t o add your comments and s u g g e s t i o n s as I r e v i e w the m a t e r i a l s , " I b e g i n . As I speak, I t h i n k t o m y s e l f what a good f i r s t c r a c k at a p l a n t h i s r e a l l y i s . P l u s i t shows them t h a t we have l i s t e n e d and u n d e r s t a n d the nuances of what o u t r e a c h workers seem t o want and need t o know and t o do. The complex c o n t e n t areas are o r g a n i z e d around themed modules. Each of the modules has an o r g a n i z i n g g o a l and s e v e r a l o b j e c t i v e s and sug g e s t e d c o n t e n t f o r each i s l i s t e d . And a l t h o u g h t h e d e s i g n r e f e r s t o the s t a t e d o b j e c t i v e s brought by H e a l t h Canada I have added a new element - t h e p r o d u c t i o n o f complementary a u d i o c a s s e t t e s t h a t i n c l u d e c o n v e r s a t i o n s among the p e r i n a t a l women who are t h e c l i e n t s o f t h e s e o u t r e a c h w o r k e r s , as w e l l as c o n v e r s a t i o n s among "seasoned" o u t r e a c h workers t h e m s e l v e s . These c o n v e r s a t i o n s w i l l p r o v i d e v e r y c o n c r e t e s t o r i e s o f e x p e r i e n c e w i t h o u t r e a c h s e r v i c e s and w i l l be o r g a n i z e d around the themes of each module. T h i s r e p r e s e n t s an i n n o v a t i o n and a m p l i f i c a t i o n o f the s t a t e d p r o j e c t g o a l s . The i n n o v a t i o n has c o s t i m p l i c a t i o n s , I mention, but the H e a l t h Canada d i r e c t o r waves t h i s c o n c e r n away. "Send me an e s t i m a t e , " she says t o P e t e r . He l o o k s a t me and I nod i n response t o i n d i c a t e , "Yes, I ' l l get t h a t t o you." He s m i l e s , she s m i l e s . Happiness. The n o t i c e a b l e t e n s i o n p r e s e n t a t the b e g i n n i n g o f the meeting has l i f t e d . I can sense i t and I can see i t . 200 P e o p l e ' s f a c e s are s o f t e r , l i p s p a r t e d , almost s m i l i n g , t h e r e i s eye c o n t a c t a l l around, and the buzz o f c o n v e r s a t i o n t a k e s the c h i l l from t h e room. Many o f the n u t r i t i o n i s t s and nurses on the a d v i s o r y committee o f f e r i d e a s , s u g g e s t i o n s , and p r a i s e . " T h i s l o o k s r e a l l y good." "You've c a p t u r e d many of the i s s u e s r a i s e d a t t h e c o n s u l t a t i o n workshop." " I l i k e t he a u d i o c a s s e t t e i d e a . " The next t h r e e months o f w r i t i n g r e s u l t i n a s o l i d c u r r i c u l u m , f o l l o w e d - u p w i t h a s e r i e s of t r a i n t he t r a i n e r s e s s i o n s around the p r o v i n c e . * * * "Street Phronesis" is about surefootedness in uncertain and changing circumstances, and about reading a situation, and drawing authority from personal and professional experience and expertise to take action. But, as in all such moments, there is much that happens outside the frame. In this case, carrying out detailed preparation and engaging in prior conversations and research informed my suggestion to include a new dimension to the program and to bring the voices of the 'clients' into the centre of the outreach workers' education through the audio cassettes. This new element was based on my understanding of what a 'good' educational program should include. I characterize this moment as situated educational leadership because it involved going beyond the status quo, trusting my instinct, and acting on the basis of my understanding. For many of us in adult education in the role of consultant to an educational project, our leadership lies in listening well to what is needed and wanted by diverse stakeholders, interpreting the meaning of these needs, and then as needed, shifting the focus of attention by introducing new ideas, something beyond what was originally conceptualized. In field hockey we call it "going to." This means not simply waiting for the ball to be passed, but 201 anticipating the pass and running into the space to receive it. This kind of active surefootedness is how I understand this story and what educational leadership can look and feel like. It is a conversation, a mental stance, and action; motivated by the desire to create an innovative educational program that will support, improve, and possibly even transform the way the learners carry out their practice of perinatal education. Like the other narratives in this research, more meaning remains to be made from this story. Leading with an Undivided Self: It is not just the strategies and policies and programs that concern educational leaders. It is also who the educator is in the process. Who one is, in part, happens by bringing into alignment the public image and the personal private self. As Scott (1999) suggests, this alignment between our purpose, vision, and emotions is fundamental to leadership. In my view this holds true for situated, 13 teacher-leader, leadership. Palmer (1998) could be speaking about the co-narrators in this study when he suggests that it is capacity for connectedness - to weave complex connections among themselves - that signals the courage to teach. To teach and to lead with an undivided self means that ...every major thread of one's life experience is honored, creating a weave of such coherence and strength that it can hold students and subject as well as self. Such a self, inwardly integrated, is able to make the outward connections on which good teaching depends. (Palmer, 1998, p. 15) There are many examples raised by the co-narrators pointing to the significance of the undivided self, to what it means to act with integrity and authenticity: Jane's story of acting from intuition and guiding by example; Pamela's stories of her own history of Scott (1999) adds that leaders, at their core, share the following: A secure sense of self, a strong inner core to handle day-to-day pressures and uncertainties. They are not too thinned skinned nor take things personally. They are not concerned about being popular. They have a sense of humility. They are willing to admit that weakness is also a sign of strength. They are willing to take responsibility. They avoid defensiveness and having to be right. 202 leadership, this awareness informing her approach to teaching adults to teach; Jennifer's struggle to become the kind of leader who communicates what she believes matters through the language of dance. Respect. Self respect and respect for others is central to the co-narrators's sense of leadership. Justice is another thread running through, bound as it is to the notion of responsiveness and responsibility. Anya recognizes that she must continue learning herself if she is to do justice to her students and she is acutely aware of the potential for conflict between the students' interests of learning the skill and craft of painting and the instructors' interests. She pulls no punches when she states unequivocally that it is with the learners that her solidarity rests. Murdock speaks of the importance of transgression or resisting received wisdom and conventionality, to be responsive to the changing society and the changing needs of non-traditional students at the university while respecting the expertise and traditions of academics within the institution. There are many tensions or paradoxes held while acting with integrity and authenticity. II. CONCLUSION In times of change and the demands of everyday practice, few educators have the time or space to reflect and learn from experience, from the stories of their lives and work as adult educators. There are points of convergence worth raising up from the stories of this diverse group of co-narrators, emergent through the twists and turns, the give and take of conversation about what it means to understand educational leadership anew. 203 An Invitation to Understanding This research has implication for adult educators who desire to examine, disrupt, and expand their understanding of educational leadership. These considerations for action-learning I address directly to my adult education colleagues. Begin with lived experience of leadership: Educational leaders exist at all levels of an organization or settings. If you are an educator, there is an important leadership dimension to your work. Your capacity to lead may be lying dormant. This leadership is present in educators who take well deliberated risks, make decisions, act responsibly, and are empowered by their own authority to coach, counsel, and of course, teach without waiting for new policies or decisions from the top. Examine such actions narratively before accepting off-the-shelf definitions, theories, or templates of educational leadership or other leadership derived from traditional models. In saying this I do not mean to eschew theory. Theory has power, however, more powerful still is to work hermeneutically from the familiar to the strange and back to encounter your "leaderly" self. Writing, telling, and retelling educational leadership stories about tensions and triumphs contributes to literate, morally wide-awake educational leaders -from the novice to the advanced - at all levels. The metaphors and images of learning and teaching and leading you live by, the leaders whose imprint lives on in you, and the significant moments, are the texts of your educational leadership curriculum. Pay attention to them and create narratives out of imagination and experience. These are the stories that are already writing you. But do not become trapped in the isolated moment. Bring these stories into a community of learners, open them up for interpretation, reinterpretation, and connection to theory and the experience of others. 204 Design and Teach for Transformation: Educational leadership is about leading others to learning and making decisions about what counts as good and worthwhile learning. Do not accept a watered down notion of education planning and teaching as simply reproducing existing conditions or injustices. Teach for wonder. Teach for passion. Teach for setting learners alight in some way. Seek out innovations in teacher and learner-centred approaches. Ask for feedback. Accept nothing less than making learning a "dream come true." Seek to Lead Genuine Conversations: Challenge your skills and understanding by leading divergent, meaning making conversations. Genuine conversations about educational issues that matter open up possibilities for understanding, for a fusion of horizons. Find ways to bring diverse interests together in conversation and listen deeply for the stories each participant has to tell. Don't be pressured into a tidy summing up of solutions to difficulties that are not conducive to tidying. Find ways to act to the best extent possible amidst the tensions. Courage: Find the courage to confront your own conventions and those of others. One way to develop the strength to put forward your ideas and vision for critique is simply to do so. Be prepared to defend, explain, or expand on these ideas. Be open to critique, but accept nothing at face value. Being open does not mean having no convictions of your own, it simply means you are willing to welcome and fully consider the other. Courage is both a stance and action. To develop courage, you must step out of zones of comfort, take risks, and act courageously. Courage is also cultivated within a community of educators willing to risk themselves for their convictions. Take courage from those whose actions you respect. 205 Show Who You Are: As an educator you teach with your intellect, curiosity, imagination, creativity, emotion. Whenever possible show who you are. Use language that connects. Take off the professional mask. Take risks with your performance and your expression. Challenge yourself. As an educational leader you are asking others to look at what you are showing them - not so that people will like you, or because you want attention, but so they will see something anew. Embody what you believe and value. Walk your talk. Seek Balance in Body, Mind, and Spirit: It is no surprise that all the co-narrators in this study take an active interest in their physical well being and seek ways to find balance in their professional and personal lives. You cannot inspire others, if your own soul is weary. Find ways to renew and rebalance regularly. Final Reflections: On Becoming Literate and Reading the Texts of our Educational Leadership Experience Stories from educational practice have the potential to stretch and expand the emerging frameworks for thinking about educational leadership. Greene (1990) suggests that becoming literate is to transcend the given and enter a field of possibilities. This begins when you are awakened to the rifts and gaps within what you think of as reality. Being articulate enough and able enough to exert yourself to name what you see around you involves the courage and skill to use language, and to name these absences and silences. This does not, as we have heard in these stories, always involve great heroism or self-sacrifice, however it does mean, "seeing clearly with our own eyes and speaking clearly in our own voices" (Greene, 1995, p. 111). As we become literate about the 206 meaning of our experiences we may become empowered to "face the world as it is" (Arendt, 1958). The stories we tell draw attention to the tensions, the ambiguities, and the possibilities of practice, e.g., the authentic self in practice, dealing with conflict, demonstrating respect and care, setting standards and clear expectations, demonstrating transparency and accountability, being willing to collaborate and listen, creating safe and challenging space, naming and framing "reality" through conversation, showing emotion and courage. These are not problems to be solved as much as tensions to be lived with as best as possible (Jardine, 1997). These stories offer evidence of the fecundity of the individual case and of the importance of bringing experience to language - engaging with it - to encounter the self, and to be open to the other. In creating text from our experience with the local and particular I am reminded of Umberto Eco's notion of the "open text" where the reader of a story brings his or her defined culture, "sets of tastes, personal inclinations, and prejudices" (cited in Greene, 1995, p. 116). This openness is central to hermeneutic understanding. In this way, the reader's own perspective effects and modifies comprehension of the work. As I share my stories with colleagues, advisors and friends, they add their reading to the mix and through this conversation the interpretation of the story; it's soul or meaning, shifts and changes and grows. Freire speaks about this as, "rewriting the texts that we read in the texts of our lives...and rewriting our lives in the light of those texts" (cited in Greene, 1995, p. 116). Much of my biographical experience involving leadership moments is inter-subjective and messy, yet generative of learning. For example, "Frozen in Bogota" reconstructs an instance when I am unable to act due to my own pre-judgments of what 207 was expected and required in the moment. "Vulnerable Leadership" explores the presence of caring and emotion as a signal of intimacy with our work and our world. "Learning to Sew" is a vocational metaphor for the link between "educators of adults" and the "friendship of mutual concern, of care and respect for the others' practice of citizenship...their real possibilities" (Forester, 1996, p. 201). The story within a story explores what it means to "risk" one's prejudices through a dialogue about a seemingly simple story. Through writing and reading each of these stories I become more literate about the meaning of my own experience not only in dialogue with myself but in dialogue with others, and with theory. To make my own perspectives available to others and theirs to mine, we become capable of seeing, in this case, lived experiences of educational leadership, from many vantage points, many horizons. Maclntyre (1984) suggests that it is the stock of stories that we are a part of that creates a sense of what matters and what actions should be taken. Ultimately, the stories we tell are all about values, about what matters to the narrator, and what matters to the story listeners. It is the hope of phenomenology and hermeneutics that we can "get back to life as it is actually lived" (Jardine, 1998, p. 12) and look for not only the meaning of each but for relationships between the stories. The stories belong together. Although they are not identical, they are about what matters to these educators of adult learners: justice, equality, responsibility, and care. It is clear from the stories here that the co-narrators take their vocations as educators very seriously, and within this role recognize what it means to be good educational leaders. The stories, like the "data"14 they are created from, offer gifts from which even the smallest of gestures or the sewing of simple shift dresses Data" comes from the Latin word meaning "that which is given." 208 become generative of new understandings. And it is in telling the stories of our lives dialogically that we begin to learn a new language and understand anew. The most powerful lessons in educational leadership are found within the small beats of quotidian experience, in the taken for granted, the partially understood, and the largely unspoken moments. In these details, so easily forgotten, lie our humanity, our leadership, and our vocation as educators. Bringing the Threads of the Conversation Together S h a k i n g up, t r a n s g r e s s i n g , and s p e a k i n g up i n everyday i n t e r a c t i o n s are r e o c c u r r i n g themes no m a t t e r where our e d u c a t i o n a l p r a c t i c e s are s i t u a t e d - i n the community, the u n i v e r s i t y , the dance s t u d i o , t h e c o l l e g e , the c l a s s r o o m or the boardroom. These s t o r i e s and dilemmas draw a t t e n t i o n t o the d i f f i c u l t i e s and the p o s s i b i l i t i e s . T h i s c o n v e r s a t i o n began w i t h examples o f th e v a r i o u s ways t e a c h e r s o r mentors have l e d us t o u n d e r s t a n d our own l e a d e r s h i p c a p a c i t i e s - thos e who i n s p i r e d and encouraged us and t h o s e who d i d not. S p e c i f i c moments o f t e a c h i n g and p l a n n i n g e d u c a t i o n a l programs i n c l u d e d i n t e r a c t i o n s w i t h i n d i v i d u a l l e a r n e r s , a c t i o n s t a k e n t o d e v e l o p new programs i n response t o change, responses t o c o n f l i c t , and the importance o f i n t e g r i t y and congruence between one's b e l i e f s and v a l u e s and e d u c a t i o n a l approach. C o n c e r n i n g the n o t i o n of courage i n e d u c a t i o n a l l e a d e r s h i p , i s i t , as Murdock s u g g e s t s , a l a c k o f u n d e r s t a n d i n g t h a t p r e v e n t s e d u c a t o r s from a c t i n g o r t a k i n g d e l i b e r a t e l e a d e r s h i p ? S t r u g g l i n g t o u n d e r s t a n d seems t o i n v o l v e some l e v e l o f courage. A l t h o u g h i t may be t h a t we are not a l l i n a p o s i t i o n t o u n d e r s t a n d the c o m p l e x i t i e s f a c e d by s t u d e n t s or aud i e n c e s - not a l l o f us are p o l i c y makers o r have p o s i t i o n a l power - but i n one way o r anot h e r , the s t o r i e s b r i n g t o l i f e a wide-awakeness and a w i l l i n g n e s s t o respond on the b a s i s o f our u n d e r s t a n d i n g . Much of t h i s courage i s e x p r e s s e d i n a c t i o n s o f i n i t i a t i n g 209 and s u s t a i n i n g c o n v e r s a t i o n s t o c o n v i n c e , persuade, i n f o r m , c h a l l e n g e , r e s i s t , and t r a n s f o r m i n d i v i d u a l s and o r g a n i z a t i o n s . Perhaps f a c i n g the w o r l d as i t i s means b e g i n n i n g w i t h an open s t a n c e and courage t o r i s k one's own p r e - u n d e r s t a n d i n g , r i s k - t a k i n g t h a t comes about i n genuine c o n v e r s a t i o n w i t h o t h e r s . B e n n i s (1989) s u g g e s t s t h a t e x p r e s s i v e n e s s i s a fundamental l e a d e r s h i p d i m e n s i o n and the s t o r i e s i l l u s t r a t e , t o o , the v a r i o u s ways t o e x p r e s s , i n words and deeds, our m o r a l i d e a l s . B e i n g e x p r e s s i v e may b e g i n i n the community and f a m i l y one grows up i n , or when o t h e r t e a c h e r / l e a d e r s l e a v e t h e i r i m p r i n t by e x p r e s s i n g t h e i r own v a l u e s and b e l i e f s o p e n l y . E x p r e s s i v e n e s s can a l s o be d e v e l o p e d t h r o u g h f o c u s e d and i n t e n t i o n a l r e f l e c t i n g and s p e a k i n g about e x p e r i e n c e . W i t h language we have some power t o shape a c t i o n . With language we may i n v i t e o t h e r s i n t o a genuine c o n v e r s a t i o n about the t h i n g s t h a t c o n c e r n , p u z z l e , or o u t r a g e . Not t o say, " l o o k at me," but t o p o i n t t o what o t h e r s s h o u l d pay a t t e n t i o n . And t h e r e are so many areas- of a d u l t e d u c a t i o n t h a t r e q u i r e a t t e n t i o n : D i r e c t i n g the a t t e n t i o n of government and the t o u r i s m i n d u s t r y t o the need f o r i n n o v a t i v e models f o r t r a i n i n g and j o b placement; d i r e c t i n g t h e u n i v e r s i t y ' s a t t e n t i o n t o the p a r t i c u l a r needs of w o r k i n g a d u l t s t u d e n t s who want t o complete t h e i r u n i v e r s i t y d egrees; d i r e c t i n g the a t t e n t i o n t h r o u g h dance t o a s p i r i t u a l d i m e n s i o n ; and d i r e c t i n g the a t t e n t i o n of a r t s t u d e n t s , t r a i n e r s , and unemployed a d u l t s t o see, and e x p r e s s , and d e v e l o p t h e i r c a p a b i l i t i e s t h r o u g h e d u c a t i v e e n c o u n t e r s . These a c t s of e d u c a t i o n a l l e a d e r s h i p go beyond the r o u t i n e and r e p e t i t i o n and r e p r o d u c t i o n of our l i v e s . A c t s of e d u c a t i o n a l l e a d e r s h i p i n v o l v e making meaning t h r o u g h genuine c o n v e r s a t i o n s , o r c h e s t r a t i n g c o n f l i c t i n g e x p e c t a t i o n s and what good e d u c a t i o n means. Through t a l k and s i l e n c e , and i n the s u r e f o o t e d n e s s of r e a l time i s our everyday e d u c a t i o n a l l e a d e r s h i p . C r e a t i n g and t e l l i n g and r e t e l l i n g t h e s e s t o r i e s i n v i t e s p o s s i b i l i t i e s f o r p l a y i n g w i t h t h e i r . 210 i n t e r p r e t a t i o n , d w e l l i n g i n the meanings, l e a r n i n g from them, and g e n e r a t i n g new, more i n c l u s i v e , u n d e r s t a n d i n g s o f e d u c a t i o n a l l e a d e r s h i p . 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