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UBC Theses and Dissertations

A Canadian Sikh wedding as a cultural performance Gill, Kuldip 1982

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A CANADIAN SIKH WEDDING AS A CULTURAL PERFORMANCE by Kuldip G i l l B.A., The University of B r i t i s h Columbia, 1977 A THESIS SUBMITTED IN PARTIAL FULFILLMENT OF THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE DEGREE OF MASTER OF ARTS i n THE FACULTY OF GRADUATE STUDIES DEPARTMENT OF ANTHROPOLOGY AND SOCIOLOGY We accept t h i s t hesis as conforming to the required standard THE UNIVERSITY OF BRITISH COLUMBIA February 1982 0 Kuldip G i l l In p r e s e n t i n g t h i s t h e s i s i n p a r t i a l f u l f i l m e n t o f the requirements f o r an advanced degree a t the U n i v e r s i t y of B r i t i s h Columbia, I agree t h a t the L i b r a r y s h a l l make i t f r e e l y a v a i l a b l e f o r r e f e r e n c e and study. I f u r t h e r agree t h a t p e r m i s s i o n f o r e x t e n s i v e copying of t h i s t h e s i s f o r s c h o l a r l y purposes may be granted by the head of my department o r by h i s o r her r e p r e s e n t a t i v e s . I t i s understood t h a t copying or p u b l i c a t i o n o f t h i s t h e s i s f o r f i n a n c i a l g a i n s h a l l not be allowed without my w r i t t e n p e r m i s s i o n . Department of ANTHROPOLOGY AND S O C I O L O G Y The U n i v e r s i t y of B r i t i s h Columbia 2075 Wesbrook P l a c e Vancouver, Canada V6T 1W5 Date March 4, 1982 n F _ f i 0 / 7 Q ) FRONTISPIECE: THE SHADI ABSTRACT T h i s t h e s i s p r e s e n t s t h e f i r s t e x t e n d e d d e s c r i p t i o n o f a C a n a d i a n P u n j a b i S i k h W e d d i n g . The c u l t u r a l e v e n t s p r i o r t o , d u r i n g and a f t e r a w e d d i n g , i n one r u r a l f a m i l y i n B r i t i s h C o l u m b i a , a r e p r e -s e n t e d as s c e n e s i n a c u l t u r a l p e r f o r m a n c e . I n d o i n g t h i s , an a t t e m p t has been made t o u s e i d e a s f r o m t h e a p p r o a c h e s o f C l i f f o r d G e e r t z and M i l t o n S i n g e r . G e e r t z ' s n o t i o n o f ' t h i c k d e s c r i p t i o n 1 has d i r e c t e d my e t h n o g r a p h i c d a t a c o l l e c t i o n . S i n g e r ' s i d e a o f c u l t u r a l p e r f o r m a n c e has g i v e n t h e s e d a t a a t e x t u a l f o rm as w e l l as shown me t h e i m p o r t a n c e o f n o t i n g t h e s e q u e n t i a l o c c u r r e n c e o f e v e n t s o r c o n c r e t e s o c i a l u n i t s d u r i n g t h e p e r f o r m a n c e o f a S i k h w e d d i n g . I have e x p l o r e d and commented on B a r b a r a W a r d ' s c o n c e p t o f ' c o n s c i o u s m o d e l s ' i n r e l a t i o n t o t h e s t u d y o f t h e S i k h s a s an i m m i g r a n t g r o u p i n C a n a d a . The s i g n i f i c a n c e o f t h i s e t h n o g r a p h y i s i t s d e s c r i p t i o n o f one a v o w e d l y t r a d i t i o n a l S i k h w e d d i n g w h i c h i n c l u d e d many r i t e s o r e v e n t s e q u e n c e s . T h i s a t t e m p t a t ' t h i c k d e s c r i p t i o n ' may e n a b l e o t h e r s s t u d y i n g o t h e r S i k h w e d d i n g s t o n o t e c o m p a r a t i v e l y t h e i m p a c t o f e v e n t s and p r o c e s s e s e x t e r n a l t o t h i s e t h n i c g r o u p on t h e i n s t i t u t i o n o f S i k h m a r r i a g e . As w e l l , t h e i n t e r n a l t e n s i o n s and p r e s s u r e s f o r change may be r e v e a l e d by t h e way m a r r i a g e s a r e p e r f o r m e d i n t h e f u t u r e . T h i s t h e s i s , t h u s , p r o v i d e s a b a s e - l i n e f o r t h e c o m p a r a t i v e s t u d y o f o t h e r S i k h w e d d i n g s . W h i l e t h e p r i m a r y c o n t r i b u t i o n o f t h i s t h e s i s i s t o t h e body o f e t h n o g r a p h i c l i t e r a t u r e , i t s h o u l d a l s o be u s e f u l t o p e o p l e and i n s t i t u t i o n s i n t e r e s t e d i n E t h n i c i t y , S o c i a l C h a n g e , Women's S t u d i e s and t h o s e i n t e r e s t e d i n i m m i g r a n t g r o u p s . - i i i -As t h e s t u d y o f one C a n a d i a n S i k h w e d d i n g i n one f a m i l y , t h i s t h e s i s does n o t p r e s e n t any g e n e r a l c o n c l u s i o n s o r g e n e r a l i z a t i o n s a p p l i c a -b l e t o t h e w h o l e o f C a n a d i a n P u n j a b i S i k h c u l t u r e . - i v -TABLE OF CONTENTS Page ABSTRACT i i i . LIST OF FIGURES v. LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS v i . ACKNOWLEDGEMENT v i i . INTRODUCTION 1 Footnotes 17 CHAPTER I: THE BETROTHAL (MUNGNA) 18 Footnotes 57 CHAPTER I I : THE RITUALS (SAGAN) 63 Footnotes 119 CHAPTER I I I : THE SHADI (WEDDING) 123 Footnotes 157 CHAPTER IV: CONCLUSION 159 GLOSSARY AND TRANSLITERATION 168 BIBLIOGRAPHY 180 APPENDIX I CHRONOLOGY OF EVENTS 183 APPENDIX II A PUNJABI WEDDING SONG (GEET) 185 - v -LIST OF FIGURES Figure Page I GENEALOGY OF DARSHAN'S CLOSE KINSMEN 2 II THE CAST OF PERFORMERS 4 III THE RELATIONSHIP OF KINSHIP TERMS TO SPACE 35 IV MAIAN - CAST OF CHARACTERS 66 V PALI - CAST OF CHARACTERS 73 VI THE GROCERY LIST FOR A CANADIAN SIKH WEDDING 76 VII FOOD PREPARATION AT THE TEMPLE - CAST OF CHARACTERS 79 VIII WESTERN WEDDING SHOWER - CAST OF CHARACTERS 93 IX SAGAN, GIDTHA AND WESTERN-TYPE WEDDING SHOWER - CAST OF CHARACTERS 97 . X GIDTHA - CAST OF CHARACTERS 107 XI NAI-THOI - CAST OF CHARACTERS 111 XII THE SHADI - CAST OF CHARACTERS 129 XIII THE WEDDING RECEPTION 144 - v i -LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS Page Frontispiece - THE WEDDING PARTY (THE SHADI) I I STIRRING THE LADDU 8 3 I I I WOMEN PREPARING FOOD IN THE TEMPLE KITCHEN 8 5 IV SECOND FLOOR PLAN OF SIKH TEMPLE 1 2 l i V REMOVING THE SEHRA FROM THE BRIDEGROOM 1 3 2 SEATED BEFORE THE GURU GRANTH SAHIB IN THE TEMPLE V I BRIDEGROOM PLAYING TRADITIONAL GAMES WITH HIS 146 S A L I S AFTER THE WEDDING - v i i -ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I have acquired debts to many people during the course of my graduate career and e s p e c i a l l y during the research and wr i t i n g of t h i s t h e s i s . I wish to thank the following: Dr. Michael M. Ames, my advisor during my graduate school career, f or directing, my i n t e r e s t to the study of North India during my undergraduate year and for h i s supervision, advice and support during my graduate school career. During the wr i t i n g of t h i s t h e s i s Dr. Ames offered both valuable c r i t i c i s m and advice. Dr. C y r i l Belshaw, a senior member of my graduate committee, for h i s support and encouragement during my time i n graduate school. As I wrote t h i s t h e s i s , I benefited from the exchange with my colleagues i n the Post-graduate research seminar dir e c t e d by Dr. Belshaw. Dr. Helga Jacobson and Dr. Judy Pugh for t h e i r suggestions and c r i t i c i s m as I worked on and wrote t h i s t h e s i s . Dr. Martine Reid for her friendship and for the opportunities she has given me to learn about the Northwest Coast Peoples. Stuart Piddocke, my f r i e n d , former teacher, and colleague, to whom I am endebted for many years of discussions about anthropology and more recently, f or h i s kindness i n reading and o f f e r i n g c r i t i c i s m on t h i s t h e s i s . My colleagues, Anne-Marie Fenger, Pat Berringer, Pamela Peck (Ormston), and Jeanette Auger. I thank a l l of my fr i e n d s , colleagues and teachers at the Department of Anthropology and Sociology and at the Museum of Anthropology for making graduate school a remarkable educational experience. Jim Rimmer of Pie Tree Press for h i s kindness i n producing the ink drawings for t h i s t h e s i s . I thank S y l v i a Chan f o r typing t h i s t h e s i s . E s p e c i a l l y , my brothers Kal, Stan and Jerry and t h e i r f a m i l i e s for years of love, support and understanding as I studied. My family presented i n t h i s t h e s i s , for allowing me to record these proceedings, for t h e i r help and understanding. The University of B r i t i s h Columbia, f o r two teaching a s s i s t a n t -ships, the P r o v i n c i a l Government Department of Labour f o r support through Y.E.P. grants #2608.01 and #1202-08-01 and the Museum of Anthropology f o r support through museum ass i s t a n t s h i p s . F i n a l l y , I wish to thank Jim Mcintosh, who i s f a m i l i a r to most of the above as a f r i e n d , for h i s support, encouragement and companionship, p r i o r to and during my u n i v e r s i t y studies. I wish to acknowledge that any mistakes i n t h i s thesis are my own. - v i i i -...ethnography i s thick d e s c r i p t i o n . What the ethnographer i s i n f a c t faced with - except when (as, of course, he must do) he i s pursuing the more automatized routines of data c o l l e c t i o n -i s a m u l t i p l i c i t y of complex conceptual structures, many of them superimposed upon or knotted i n t o one another, which are at once strange, i r r e g u l a r , and i n e x p l i c i t , and which he must contrive somehow f i r s t to grasp and then to render. And t h i s i s true at the most down-to-earth, jungle f i e l d work l e v e l s of his a c t i v i t y : interviewing informants, observing r i t u a l s , e l i c i t i n g k i n terms, t r a c i n g property l i n e s , censusing households...writing h i s journal. Doing ethnography i s l i k e t r y i n g to read (in the sense of "construct a reading of") a manuscript. -Geertz, 1973:9. - 1 -INTRODUCTION T h i s t h e s i s i s t h e f i r s t e x t e n d e d d e s c r i p t i o n o f a C a n a d i a n P u n j a b i S i k h w e d d i n g r i t u a l . ' ' " I t p r e s e n t s t h e drama o f e v e n t s b e f o r e , d u r i n g , and a f t e r t h e w e d d i n g o f a Canada r a i s e d S i k h woman t o an I n d i a b o r n S i k h man. The e v e n t s r e c o r d e d h e r e a r e t h o s e w h i c h s t r u c k me a s t h e mos t s i g n i f i c a n t and v i t a l ; e v e n t s t h a t t e l l t h e j o y o f a f a m i l y , w h i c h r e v e a l t h e e m o t i o n s o f a young woman d u r i n g t r a n s f o r m a t i o n f r o m t h e s i n g l e t o t h e m a r r i e d s t a t e and w h i c h r e v e a l t h e s t r u g g l e s , b o t h c o l l e c t i v e and i n d i v i d u a l , o f a f a m i l y and i t s members a d a p t i n g t o a new 2 l a n d , w h i l e m a i n t a i n i n g t h e v a l u e s and a t t i t u d e s o f i t s own c u l t u r e . The w e d d i n g r e f e r r e d t o above and d e s c r i b e d i n t h e f o l l o w i n g p a g e s , i s t h a t o f my c o u s i n - b r o t h e r ' s (FBS) e l d e s t d a u g h t e r ( F e B y S e D ) , D a r s h a n . I am h e r ' a u n t ' (FFBD) . F i g u r e I-;, shows t h e g e n e a l o g y o f o u r f a m i l y ( l i n e a g e A ) , and t h a t o f D a r s h a n ' s mo the r ( l i n e a g e B ) . Many o f t h e women d e p i c t e d i n F i g u r e I have p r i m a r y r o l e s i n t h e e v e n t s t h a t f o l l o w . They a r e t h e m o t h e r , t h e g r a n d m o t h e r (MM), and t h e a u n t s (MBW's) o f t h e b r i d e - t o - b e . T o g e t h e r , o r s i n g l y , t h e y o f f i c i a t e i n t h e r i t u a l s and a t t e n d t h e b r i d e d u r i n g t h e w e d d i n g c e l e b r a t i o n . My a p p r o a c h h a s b e e n i n f l u e n c e d by M i l t o n S i n g e r ' s i d e a o f " c u l t u r a l p e r f o r m a n c e " . S i n g e r s u g g e s t s how a p e r f o r m a n c e c a n be t r e a t e d as an o p e r a t i o n a l u n i t w h i c h I s b o t h c o n c r e t e and o b s e r v a b l e i n t h e s t u d y o f I n d i a n c u l t u r e . E a c h c u l t u r a l p e r f o r m a n c e has a " l i m i t e d t i m e s p a n , . . . a n o r g a n i z e d p r o g r a m o f a c t i v i t y , a s e t o f p e r f o r m e r s , an a u d i e n c e , and a p l a c e and o c c a s i o n o f p e r f o r m a n c e " ( S i n g e r , 1 9 7 2 : 6 5 - 8 0 ) . Lineage A Lineage B Lineage C A , 0 O A ' • x 1 A A A = 0 A=0 Masi-j i 6 A=° A=° A=° 6 A Kuldip Ar.j. uri Gurdial 1 O [EGO Sur j i t Dave Darshan Harj i t FIGURE I GENEALOGY OF DARSHAN'S CLOSE KINSMEN (This chart i s generationally correct. I t does not include a l l members of each family). - 3 -The p e r f o r m a n c e d e s c r i b e d i n t h i s t h e s i s o c c u r s m a i n l y i n two c e n t e r s , t h e home o f t h e b r i d e and a t a S i k h T e m p l e . I n t h e f i r s t , t he r i t e s a r e c o n d u c t e d by women, w h i l e i n t h e s e c o n d , a p r i e s t i s t h e r i t u a l f u n c t i o n a r y . The s e t o f p e r f o r m e r s a r e p r e s e n t e d i n F i g u r e I I , w i t h a b r i e f d e s c r i p t i o n o f t h e i r r e l a t i o n s h i p t o t h e b r i d e and t h e i r r o l e i n t h e w e d d i n g . The a u d i e n c e i s t r e a t e d as p a r t o f t h e c u l t u r a l p e r f o r m a n c e I am d e s c r i b i n g . The a c t i v i t i e s a r e o r g a n i z e d and t h e y s p a n a p e r i o d o f t e n days f r o m t h e f i r s t r i t u a l t o t h e w e d d i n g d a y . The w e d d i n g and a s s o c i a t e d e v e n t s a r e c u l t u r a l l y s i g n i f i c a n t t o t h e p r i n c i p a l a c t o r s and o t h e r p a r t i c i p a n t s , and t h e s e e v e n t s r e p r e s e n t s t r a t e g i e s u s e d by C a n a d i a n P u n j a b i S i k h s t o m a i n t a i n t h e i r v a l u e s and b e l i e f s . Thus t h i s t h e s i s i s a s t u d y o f t h e i r s o c i a l o r g a n i z a t i o n o f t r a d i t i o n , i n t h e s e n s e meant by R e d f i e l d ( 1 9 6 0 : 1 5 8 ) : S o c i a l o r g a n i z a t i o n i s t h e way t h a t p e o p l e p u t t o g e t h e r e l e m e n t s o f a c t i o n s o as t o g e t done s o m e t h i n g t h e y wan t d o n e . . . s o c i a l o r g a n i z a t i o n i s d e s c r i b e d when we a c c o u n t f o r t h e c h o i c e s and t h e r e s o l u t i o n s o f d i f f i c u l t i e s and c o n f l i c t s t h a t a c t u a l l y wen t on i n one p a r t i c u l a r s i t u a t i o n . ( I t i s ) t h e way i n w h i c h e l e m e n t s o f a c t i o n a r e p u t t o g e t h e r i n any p a r t i c u l a r c a s e o f t r a n s -m i s s i o n o f c u l t u r e . 1 p r e s e n t t h e t r a d i t i o n a l v a l u e s o f t h e B . C . S i k h s , t h e d i f f i c u l t i e s p o s e d by t h e i r a t t e m p t s t o m a i n t a i n t h o s e v a l u e s , t h e ways c h o i c e s a r e made w h i c h i n c o r p o r a t e t r a d i t i o n a l v a l u e s w h i l e t a k i n g i n t o c o n s i d e r a t i o n t h e i m m e d i a t e s i t u a t i o n i n C a n a d a . THE CAST OF PERFORMERS Name R o l e D a r s h a n A t w e n t y - o n e y e a r o l d C a n a d i a n - b o r n P u n j a b i S i k h woman, d a u g h t e r o f A r j u n and G u r d i a l . She i s a h i g h s c h o o l g r a d u a t e c u r r e n t l y . w o r k i n g as a c l e r k - t y p i s t i n a t o w n s h i p a p p r o x i m a t e l y e i g h t m i l e s f r o m h e r f a r m home. D a r s h a n i s ' e g o ' i n t h i s t h e s i s . G u r d i a l D a r s h a n ' s m o t h e r , a woman b o r n i n v i l l a g e P u n j a b , now l i v i n g on a f a r m i n t h e r u r a l a r e a o f t h e F r a s e r V a l l e y . She i s an a t t r a c t i v e woman who t a k e s immense p r i d e i n h e r f a m i l i a l r o l e s . She wo rks d u r i n g mos t o f t h e y e a r a t a c a n n e r y a b o u t 25 m i l e s away . S u r j i t D a r s h a n ' s y o u n g e r s i s t e r . A h i g h s c h o o l g r a d u a t e a b o u t 19 y e a r s o f age who l i v e s a t home and commutes w i t h h e r s i s t e r t o a t o w n s h i p n e a r b y , where she works i n a b a n k . M a s i - j i D a r s h a n ' s m a t e r n a l g r a n d m o t h e r . I c a l l h e r M a s i - j i w h i c h i s t h e t e r m u s e d f o r a m o t h e r ' s s i s t e r . S h e i s G u r d i a l ' s m o t h e r , a n d g r a n d m o t h e r t o S u r j i t a n d D a r s h a n . H a r j i t A n I n d i a b o r n y o u n g m a n a g e d a b o u t 25 y e a r s w h o i s D a r s h a n ' s p r o s p e c t i v e g r o o m . H e i s u n i v e r s i t y t r a i n e d i n t h e a g r i c u l t u r a l s c i e n c e s . A r j u n D a r s h a n ' s f a t h e r . A m a n b o r n i n v i l l a g e P u n j a b , w h o n o w o w n s a s m a l l b e r r y f a r m i n t h e F r a s e r V a l l e y . H e i s a l s o e m p l o y e d i n t h e l u m b e r i n d u s t r y . K u l d i p D a r s h a n ' s ' . aun t ' (FFBD) . A C a n a d i a n P u n j a b i S i k h G r a d u a t e S t u d e n t i n A n t h r o p o l o g y , a t t h e M . A . L e v e l , s t u d y i n g N o r t h I n d i a , t h e S i k h s i n p a r t i c u l a r . O t h e r s i n t h e ' c a s t ' who have r o l e s t o p l a y a r e t h r e e o f D a r s h a n ' s u n c l e s (DMB) and t h e i r w i v e s (DMBW). Many o t h e r r e l a t i v e s f r o m t h e p a t r i l i n e a g e s o f h e r m o t h e r a n d o f h e r f a t h e r h e l p i n t h e p r e p a r a t i o n s f o r t h e wedd ing and d u r i n g t h e w e d d i n g . T h e i r r o l e s a r e m i n o r so a r e n o t l i s t e d i n d i v i d u a l l y . A number o f w h i t e f r i e n d s p a r t i c i p a t e as ' a u d i e n c e ' a t t h e w e d d i n g and a t a shower h e l d i n h o n o r o f t h e b r i d e . - 5 -I n C h a p t e r I, I d i s c u s s t h e a r r a n g e m e n t o f m a r r i a g e s amongst t h e B . C . S i k h s and t h e m a r r i a g e r u l e s w h i c h d e t e r m i n e who may m a r r y whom. The b e t r o t h a l s o f one young woman and h e r u n c l e a r e d e s c r i b e d . A d e s c r i p t i o n o f s e v e n e v e n t s w h i c h p r e c e d e d t h e w e d d i n g o f t h e y o u n g woman i s g i v e n i n C h a p t e r I I . I p r e s e n t e a c h e v e n t as a s c e n e i n a p l a y . F o r e a c h s c e n e , I s e t t h e s t a g e w i t h a few l i n e s w h i c h , i f r e a d by a s t r a n g e r t o t h e c u l t u r e w o u l d . . t e l l h e r what t o a n t i c i p a t e . F r a k e , i n a d i s c u s s i o n o f t h e adequacy o f d e s c r i p t i o n s t a t e s : T h i s c o n c e p t i o n o f a c u l t u r a l d e s c r i p t i o n i m p l i e s t h a t an e t h n o g r a p h y s h o u l d be a t h e o r y o f c u l t u r a l b e h a v i o r i n a p a r t i c u l a r s o c i e t y , t h e adequacy o f w h i c h i s t o be e v a l u a t e d by t h e a b i l i t y o f a s t r a n g e r t o t h e c u l t u r e (who may be an e t h n o g r a p h e r ) t o use t h e e t h n o g r a p h y ' s s t a t e m e n t s as i n s t r u c t i o n s f o r a p -p r o p r i a t e l y a n t i c i p a t i n g t h e s c e n e s o f t h e s o c i e t y . . . T h e t e s t o f d e s c r i p t i v e adequacy must a l w a y s r e f e r t o i n f o r m a n t s ' i n t e r p r e t a t i o n s o f e v e n t s , n o t s i m p l y t o t h e o c c u r r e n c e o f e v e n t s ( 1 9 7 2 : 2 2 1 ) . The w e d d i n g p e r f o r m e d i n t h e t e m p l e , and t h e e v e n t s a f t e r , a r e d e s c r i b e d i n C h a p t e r I I I . A g a i n , t h e s c e n e i s s e t f o r t h e r e a d e r u s i n g t h e d r a m a t u r g i c a l f rame d e v e l o p e d i n C h a p t e r I I . The u n i t s o f o b s e r v a t i o n c a n be i d e n t i f i e d q u i t e r e a d i l y b e c a u s e o f t h e i r c e n t r a l i t y and r e c u r r e n c e ( S i n g e r , 1 9 7 3 : 7 1 ) . T h u s , t h e e v e n t s I c a l l sagan ( r i t e s ) and t h e s h a d i (wedding) i n t h i s t h e s i s a r e ' p e r f o r m a n c e s ' , t h e y have a good d e a l o f s i g n i f i c a n c e f o r t h e p e r f o r m e r s a n d t h e p a r t i c i p a n t s . The c u l t u r e o f t h e B . C . S i k h s i s " . . . e n c a p s u l a t e d i n t h e s e d i s c r e t e p e r f o r m a n c e s w h i c h t h e y . . . e x h i b i t t o v i s i t o r s and t o t h e m s e l v e s " ( i b i d : 7 1 ) . * * * * - 6 -One o f t h e p r i m a r y c o n c e r n s o f t h i s t h e s i s i s t o show how women p l a y a m a j o r p a r t i n p a s s i n g on t r a d i t i o n a l c u l t u r e . I n much o f t h e a n t h r o p o l o g i c a l l i t e r a t u r e w h i c h f o c u s e s on t h e a c t i v i t i e s o f men, women have been d e p i c t e d as a l m o s t p e r p e t u a l l y s u b o r d i n a t e , t h e i r r o l e s u n d e r p l a y e d . I n t h i s w o r k , I f o c u s on women as p a r t i c i p a n t s i n and o r g a n i z e r s o f , r i t u a l a c t i v i t y . I f e e l a commi tment , a r e s p o n s i b i l i t y t o make a b e g i n n i n g i n t h e e x p a n s i o n o f o u r k n o w l e d g e o f t h e r o l e s o f B . C . S i k h women. My i n t e n t i s t o remove them f rom t h e c a t e g o r y o f t h e v i s i b l e ' e x o t i c ' and t o p l a c e them as c o n t r i b u t o r s t o t h e C a n a d i a n c u l t u r a l m o s a i c . My o b s e r v a t i o n s were c o n s t r u c t e d f r om t h e p e r s p e c t i v e o f a C a n a d i a n P u n j a b i S i k h woman t r a i n e d as an a n t h r o p o l o g i s t . C o n s e q u e n t l y , I c o u l d r e a d i l y i d e n t i f y t h e women who p e r f o r m e d t h e r i t u a l s and who d i r e c t e d t h e a c t i v i t i e s r e l a t e d t o ' t h e w e d d i n g . They knew t h e l o r e , t h e s o n g s , t h e m a r r i a g e r u l e s , t h e r e c i p e s , and t h e s t r a t e g i e s i n v o l v e d i n t h e p e r f o r m a n c e o f t h e w e d d i n g . The women may a l s o be v i e w e d as c r i t i c s o f s i m i l a r e v e n t s p r e c e d i n g t h o s e t h e y manage; t h e y e v a l u a t e and t h e y a t t e m p t t o s e t s t a n d a r d s f o r s i m i l a r p e r f o r m a n c e s i n t h e f u t u r e . T h i s i s a c o n s c i o u s and d e l i b e r a t e a t t e m p t t o r e t a i n t h e r i c h c u l t u r a l p r a c t i c e s w h i c h convey t h e S i k h v a l u e s t o t h e p a r t i c i p a n t s . The o l d e r women admon i sh t h e y o u n g e r ones t o w a t c h and t o t a k e n o t e o f e v e r y t h i n g b e i n g done and how i t i s d o n e , f o r i n t h e f u t u r e t h e y w i l l have t h e r e s p o n s i b i l i t y . One o f t h e p r o b l e m s I have e n c o u n t e r e d i s how t o d e s c r i b e a w e d d i n g , as c o n d u c t e d by t h e C a n a d i a n P u n j a b i S i k h s , and a s I o b s e r v e d i t f r o m t h e d u a l p e r s p e c t i v e s o f my a n t h r o p o l o g i c a l and P u n j a b i 1 - 7 -b a c k g r o u n d s . I n my a t t e m p t t o b r i d g e t h e s e two l e v e l s , one o f t h e e x p e r i e n c e o f i t , and t h e o t h e r o f t e l l i n g a b o u t i t , I l o o k e d f o r some fo rm w h i c h I c o u l d impose on my d a t a . G i v e n my d u a l p e r s p e c t i v e s , I made t h e d e c i s i o n t o p r e s e n t t h e e l e m e n t s and e v e n t s o f wha t I o b s e r v e d i n t h e way t h a t I a p p r e c i a t e d them o r i g i n a l l y i n my f i e l d n o t e s , t h u s k e e p i n g t h e d o c u m e n t a r y f o rm i n t a c t . The r e l e v a n c e s I have s e l e c t e d f o r comment, t h e c o n c e p t s and t h e e v e n t s , a r e i n f o r m e d by my ' i n s i d e r ' s t a t u s (I am r e l a t e d t o t h e b r i d e ) , and m e d i a t e d by my a n t h r o p o l o g i c a l t r a i n i n g . I n t h e c o n s t r u c t i o n o f t h i s documen t , I have a t t e m p t e d t o keep t o t h e c o n c r e t e o b s e r v a b l e u n i t s o r s o c i a l e v e n t s and o c c a s i o n s I o b s e r v e d . Where p a s t e v e n t s were o f e x p l a n a t o r y i n t e r e s t , I have added a n n o t a t i o n and b a c k g r o u n d i n f o r m a t i o n t o make t h e d e s c r i p t i o n more c l e a r . I have t r i e d t o d e s c r i b e what I o b s e r v e d and t h e c i r c u m s t a n c e s s u r r o u n d i n g t he o b s e r v a t i o n s as t h o r o u g h l y and as h o n e s t l y as p o s s i b l e . Where t h e e v e n t t o o k p l a c e i n my a b s e n c e and I have o n l y i n d i r e c t i n f o r m a t i o n a b o u t i t , I s t a t e t h a t i s t h e c a s e , t h e n go on t o d e s c r i b e t h e e v e n t . The i n t e r e s t a f t e r a l l , i s n o t o n l y i n t h e d e s c r i p t i o n ( a l t h o u g h t h a t i s p r i m a r y ) , b u t a l s o i n t h e e x p e r i e n c e p r e s e n t e d h e r e o f t h e t o t a l i t y o f t h e e v e n t s s u r r o u n d i n g t h e w e d d i n g . S t i l l , two q u e s t i o n s may be a s k e d r e g a r d i n g t h e v a l i d i t y o f t h e d o c u m e n t a t i o n . F i r s t , i s i t an a c c u r a t e p o r t r a y a l o f what a c t u a l l y t o o k p l a c e ? S e c o n d , 3 i n wha t ways d i d my p r e s e n c e a l t e r t h e e v e n t s ? - 8 -The f i r s t q u e s t i o n may b e s t be a d d r e s s e d by t h e f o l l o w i n g d i s c u s s i o n o f (a) t h e c i r c u m s t a n c e s w h i c h were t h e g e n e s i s o f t h i s t h e s i s , (b) t h e t i m e s p a n o f t h e f i e l d w o r k , (c) t h e d a t a b a s e , (d) t h e method o f r e c o r d i n g t h e p r o c e e d i n g s , (e) t h e t e s t f o r r e l i a b i l i t y and ( f ) a s t a t e m e n t o f t h e l i m i t a t i o n s . The g e n e s i s o f t h i s document l i e s i n an e x p e r i e n c e d u r i n g my g r a d u a t e s c h o o l c a r e e r when I, i n c o n s u l t a t i o n w i t h my c o m m i t t e e , 4 changed my t h e s i s t o p i c . Ou t o f t h i s e x p e r i e n c e I s u b s e q u e n t l y , and h u r r i e d l y , e m b a r k e d upon t h e f i e l d w o r k f o r t h i s s t u d y . The w e d d i n g w h i c h i s r e c o r d e d h e r e was i m m i n e n t . B e c a u s e i t was t h e w e d d i n g o f my n i e c e , I h a d had more t h a n u s u a l c o n t a c t w i t h my f a m i l y (our i n t e r a c t i o n b e c a u s e o f my y e a r s o f u n i v e r s i t y w o r k , d i s t a n c e t o be t r a v e l l e d , e t c . i s u s u a l l y i n f r e q u e n t ) . T h i s c o n t a c t was m a i n l y b e c a u s e I had u n d e r t a k e n t o be t h e ' a u n t ' t o bake t h e w e d d i n g c a k e s . F o r t u n a t e l y , I had e a r l y d e c i d e d t o r e c o r d t h e w e d d i n g e v e n t s as ' n o t e s f o r f u r t h e r r e s e a r c h ' . These n o t e s e n a b l e d me t o e n t e r t h e f i e l d work s i t u a t i o n w i t h some b a c k g r o u n d d a t a a l r e a d y a t h a n d . W h i l e t h e p e r i o d o f some m i n i m a l n o t e t a k i n g b a s e d on t e l e p h o n e c o n v e r s a t i o n s w i t h my n i e c e s a n d a number o f s h o r t v i s i t s t o t h e i r home began i n l a t e 1 9 8 0 , d u r i n g e a r l y F e b r u a r y and M a r c h , 1 9 8 1 , o u r c o n t a c t , e s p e c i a l l y by t e l e p h o n e r b e c a m e more f r e q u e n t . A phone c a l l f r om G u r d i a l i n I n d i a , t o h e r h u s b a n d A r j u n , s a y i n g t h e g r o o m - t o - b e was on h i s way , s u d d e n l y p r e c i p i t a t e d t h e w e d d i n g c e l e b r a t i o n and t h e p r e p a r a t i o n s t o o k on u r g e n t d i m e n s i o n s . I l e f t V a n c o u v e r f o r t h e communi ty where t h e w e d d i n g was t o t a k e p l a c e a n d r e m a i n e d t h e r e f o r a l m o s t a mon th . The i n t e n s i v e f i e l d w o r k was c o n d u c t e d f r o m A p r i l 1 0 , 1981 t o May , 1981 - 9 -(my c h r o n o l o g y o f e v e n t s i s p r e s e n t e d i n A p p e n d i x I ) . D u r i n g t h a t t i m e I s t a y e d a t t h e home o f t h e b r i d e - t o - b e o r w i t h my y o u n g e r b r o t h e r and h i s f a m i l y , i n a n e i g h b o u r i n g town w i t h i n e a s y a c c e s s o f h e r home. S u b s e q u e n t l y , a number o f r e t u r n t r i p s were made t o o b s e r v e and t o p a r t i c i p a t e i n one f i n a l e v e n t , and t o c l a r i f y a few p o i n t s i n t h e e a r l i e r f i e l d d a t a . My d a t a a r e b a s e d on my o b s e r v a t i o n s and u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f t he e v e n t s as a p e r s o n f l u e n t i n t h e P u n j a b i l a n g u a g e and o f a S i k h b a c k -g r o u n d . I t a l s o c o n s i s t s o f my r e c o r d o f c o n v e r s a t i o n s w h i c h I had w i t h my f a m i l y , t h a t i s w i t h my n i e c e D a r s h a n , who was a b o u t t o be m a r r i e d , w i t h h e r y o u n g e r s i s t e r S u r j i t , w i t h t h e i r mo the r G u r d i a l , t h e i r a u n t (MZ) , and mos t i m p o r t a n t l y w i t h t h e i r m a t e r n a l g randmo the r who I r e f e r t o as ' M a s i - j i ' (MZ) i n t h i s t h e s i s . I t was M a s i - j i who f r e q u e n t l y h e l p e d t o e x p l a i n some o f t h e e v e n t s , u n d e r t a k i n g t h e a n s w e r i n g o f my q u e s t i o n s s e r i o u s l y , w i t h g r e a t i n t e r e s t , p r o v i d i n g d e t a i l e d e x p l a n a t i o n s and e x a m p l e s . O t h e r members o f b o t h l i n e a g e s (shown i n F i g u r e I ) a l s o c o n t r i b u t e d t o t h e c o n s t r u c t i o n o f t h i s work as I made n o t e s o f wha t t h e y h a d s a i d , wha t t h e y were d o i n g , and t h e i r e x p l a n a t i o n o f b o t h , a s I r e q u i r e d them. A few t i m e s , t h e e x p l a n a t i o n s , c o n v o l u t e d w i t h examp les and P u n j a b i wo rds f r o m a n o t h e r d i a l e c t , c o u l d n o t be f o l l o w e d , and t h e y a r e l o s t . Some o f t h e c o n v e r s a t i o n s w h i c h t o o k p l a c e amongst s e v e r a l g r o u p s a t once where I c o u l d n o t be p r e s e n t , a r e a l s o l o s t . A t o t h e r t i m e s I c o u l d n o t h e a r t h e c o n v e r s a t i o n s w h i c h were m u f f l e d by f a c e s h a l f c o v e r e d w i t h s h a w l s , s o c o u l d n o t r e c o r d them. These a r e t h e n o r m a l h a z a r d s o f f i e l d w o r k and do n o t d e t r a c t f r om t h e w o r t h o f a document . - 10 -M o s t o f t he i n f o r m a t i o n on w h i c h t h i s document i s b a s e d was r e c o r d e d i n l o n g h a n d . Some o f i t , r e c o r d e d on b r i e f n o t e s d u r i n g t h e d a y , was i n c o r p o r a t e d t h a t e v e n i n g i n t o my f i e l d n o t e s . From t h e b e g i n n i n g , I r i g o r o u s l y f o l l o w e d t h e a d v i c e o f my s u p e r v i s o r t o r e c o r d 5 t h e d a t a d a i l y . E v e r y e v e n i n g , however l a t e I r e t i r e d , I f i r s t c o m p l e t e d my f i e l d n o t e s , a f r a i d t o t r u s t t h e mass o f d e t a i l t o my memory f o r even one d a y . I n f a c t , t h e c o m m i t i n g t o p a p e r o f t h e d a t a e v e r y e v e n i n g became one o f t h e more p l e a s a n t t h i n g s t o l o o k f o r w a r d t o , e s p e c i a l l y as I w a t c h e d t h e n o t e s grow i n t o a l e n g t h y , i n - d e p t h j o u r n a l . A t f i r s t , a f r a i d t o r e - r e a d my n o t e s , I d i d n o t . T h e n , when I d i d , I r e a l i z e d how much o f t h a t d e t a i l I m i g h t have f o r g o t t e n - i t seemed new, as i f I was e x p e r i e n c i n g i t f o r t h e f i r s t t i m e i n t h e w o r d s . W i t h t h i s came t h e k n o w l e d g e t h a t I w o u l d n o t have c a p t u r e d as much o f t h e e v e n t s I o b s e r v e d , had I n o t r e c o r d e d them d a i l y . D u r i n g t h e f i e l d w o r k , I r a r e l y u s e d a n o t e b o o k and p e n c i l where I c o u l d be o b s e r v e d . On t h e f i r s t o c c a s i o n t h a t I a t t e m p t e d c o v e r t l y - t o t a k e n o t e s , some o f t h e women e y e d me c u r i o u s l y . G u r d i a l l a u g h i n g l y s u g g e s t e d t h a t t h e o t h e r women may have t h o u g h t I was k e e p i n g an a c c o u n t ( a s a v l a i n t h e ha) o f t h e f o o d i t e m s u s e d f o r t he w e d d i n g r i t u a l s and t h e communal m e a l a t t h e t e m p l e . S i n c e t h i s i s c o n s i d e r e d t o be m i s e r l y , I d e c i d e d i t w o u l d be b e s t n o t t o p r o v o k e s u c h comment. O f t e n , once I was i n my c a r , I w o u l d j o t down j u s t a wo rd o r t w o , w h i c h w o u l d s e r v e l a t e r t o h e l p me r e c a l l t h e e v e n t o r c o n c e p t I was a f r a i d o f f o r g e t t i n g . - 11 -B r i e f n o t e s were t a k e n d u r i n g t h e w e d d i n g c e l e b r a t i o n i n t h e t e m p l e . Then t o o , p e o p l e w a t c h e d me, a l t h o u g h I t h o u g h t I was i n -c o n s p i c u o u s a b o u t i t . (My n o t e b o o k was i n my open p u r s e , I had a s t u b o f a p e n c i l and w r o t e u n d e r t h e f o l d o f my s a r i . ) G i v e n a l e n g t h i e r p e r i o d o f f i e l d w o r k , I t h i n k an e t h n o g r a p h e r c o u l d a t t e m p t t o make a p e n c i l and n o t e b o o k a p a r t o f h e r s e l f so t h a t p e o p l e w o u l d be a c c u s t o m e d to t h e i d e a . A t a p e r e c o r d e r p r o v i d e d a p a r t i a l t a p e o f one o f t h e e v e n t s a t t h e home o f t h e b r i d e . A n o t h e r t a p e r e c o r d i n g , a t t h e t e m p l e , i s o f s u c h p o o r q u a l i t y as t o be u n u s a b l e e x c e p t t o p r o v i d e an i d e a o f t h e g e n e r a l n o i s y amb ience i n t h a t s e t t i n g . No d o c u m e n t a t i o n i s c o m p l e t e w i t h o u t i t s a u t h o r c o r r e c t i n g f a u l t y a s s u m p t i o n s and s t a t i n g t h e l i m i t a t i o n s o f t h e d a t a . T h i s one i s no e x c e p t i o n . F i r s t , g i v e n my P u n j a b i S i k h b a c k g r o u n d , t h e r e a d e r may assume t h a t I have p r e v i o u s l y a t t e n d e d a number o f S i k h w e d d i n g s . T h i s i s n o t t h e c a s e . I have a t t e n d e d two w e d d i n g s , b o t h d u r i n g my e a r l y t e e n a g e y e a r s . S o , w h i l e t h e p r o c e e d i n g s o f t h i s w e d d i n g were n o t c o m p l e t e l y s t r a n g e , t h e y were r e m a r k a b l e . E s p e c i a l l y new t o me was t h e e x t e n t t o w h i c h t h e r i t u a l e v e n t s b e f o r e and a f t e r t h e w e d d i n g r i t e s have been e l a b o r a t e d . The s p o n t a n i e t y o f o c c u r r e n c e o f e v e n t s and t h i n g s new t o me, a s k i n g a b o u t them and n o t i n g them as w e l l as a c t i v e l y h e l p i n g t o a c h i e v e c e r t a i n e n d s , so c a p t i v a t e d me t h a t a r e f l e c t i v e v i e w o f them was a c o n t r a d i c t i o n , an i m p o s s i b i l i t y a l m o s t , f o r me. The u r g e n c y w i t h w h i c h t h i s work was u n d e r t a k e n - r e s u l t e d i n v e r y few f o r m a l i n t e r v i e w s - mos t o f t h e p e o p l e ( i n c l u d i n g m y s e l f ) busy w i t h t h e p r e p a r a t i o n s , had l i t t l e t i m e t o s i t and t a l k f o r l e n g t h y - 12 -p e r i o d s . I w o r k e d , o b s e r v e d , a s k e d q u e s t i o n s o f t h e members o f my p a r t i c u l a r work g roup and k e p t my eye open f o r t h e w h e r e a b o u t s o f M a s i - j i , one o f my a u n t s o r a c o u s i n - s i s t e r (FBD) i n c a s e I needed an e x p l a n a t i o n . Then I w r o t e my f i e l d n o t e s , a l w a y s a n x i o u s a b o u t t h e s p e e d w i t h w h i c h one f o r g e t s t h e f i n e r d e t a i l and t h e s e q u e n c e o f e v e n t s . E v e n s o , on more t h a n one o c c a s i o n I r e c h e c k e d s e q u e n c e s c a r e -f u l l y . F i n a l l y , i n t h i s s e c t i o n I wan t t o s t a t e t h a t I have t r i e d -t o make t h i s t h e s i s e x e m p l a r y o f ' t h i c k d e s c r i p t i o n ' . I t i s n o t my t a s k h e r e t o go i n t o t h e l i t e r a t u r e w h i c h v a l i d a t e s a d e s c r i p t i v e work as a n t h r o p o l o g y . S u f f i c e i t t o s a y t h a t I g r a p p l e d w i t h t h e p r o b l e m b o t h i n t h e f i e l d as I w r o t e my f i e l d n o t e s and l a t e r i n t h e w r i t i n g o f t h i s w o r k . F i r s t , i n t h e f i e l d I s o o n r e a l i z e d , a s S i n g e r (1972 :70) . s t a t e s t h a t t h e immed iacy o f c o n c r e t e / e x p e r i e n c e s " . . . d i s c o u r a g e ( s ) t h e m ind f r o m e n t e r t a i n i n g and a p p l y i n g t h e s y n t h e t i c and i n t e r p r e t a t i v e c o n c e p t s t h a t I had ( t aken ) w i t h m e " . L a t e r , as I w r o t e my d r a f t I f a c e d t h e q u e s t i o n o f w h e t h e r o r n o t a d e s c r i p t i v e work i s an i n t e l l e c t u a l a c h i e v e -men t , a c o n t r i b u t i o n t o t h e f i e l d o f a n t h r o p o l o g y . D u r i n g t h i s g r a p p l i n g , I added f o o t n o t e s t o my d e s c r i p t i o n s u s i n g t h e s y n t h e t i c c o n c e p t s , d i s c u s s i n g c o l o u r s y m b o l i s m , e x p l o r i n g t h e e t y m o l o g y o f P u n j a b i w o r d s , e t c . T h e n , h a v i n g come t o t e r m s w i t h t h e f a c t t h a t t h e e f f e c t o f t h e s e a c c r e t i o n s t o t h e m a i n d e s c r i p t i v e work was t o add c o n f u s i o n and t o r e d u c e t h e v e r y p a r t i c u l a r i t y t h a t p r o t r a c t e d d e s c r i p t i o n s a r e v a l u e d f o r , I removed them a l o n g w i t h t h e u s e o f t h e m a d e - i n - t h e - a c a d e m y c o n c e p t s . The t h e s i s i s p r e s e n t e d a s d e s c r i p t i o n w h i c h has i t s own v a l i d i t y . - 13 -The s e c o n d q u e s t i o n I a s k e d above i s how d i d my p r e s e n c e change t h e s i t u a t i o n ? As a C a n a d i a n P u n j a b i S i k h woman, I p a r t i c i p a t e d i n t h e a f f a i r s o f my f a m i l y and t r i e d t o f u l f i l l t h e i r e x p e c t a t i o n s . To t h i s d e g r e e my p r e s e n c e d i d change t h e s i t u a t i o n . As an ' i n s i d e r ' I was aware t h a t I r e c e i v e d c o m m u n i c a t i o n , t r a n s m i t t e d i t and p e r h a p s u n k n o w i n g l y e v e n changed i t i n t h e t r a n s m i s s i o n . The b e s t I c o u l d do was t o be aware o f t h e p o s s i b i l i t i e s . I c o u l d n o t r e f r a i n f r o m g i v i n g a d v i c e when I was a s k e d , i f i t b e t t e r s e r v e d t h e i n t e r e s t o f my f a m i l y t h a n d i d t h e k n o w l e d g e t h e y p r e v i o u s l y h a d . B u t , I d i d i t now w i t h r e f l e c t i o n a b o u t t h e a n t h r o p o l o g i c a l t r a d i t i o n and a s k e d m y s e l f : I s t h i s i n t r o d u c i n g change? S h o u l d I make s u c h s u g g e s t i o n s ? What i s t h e e f f e c t o f some o f my q u e s t i o n s ? Of my s u g g e s t i o n s ? W i l l I l e a v e p e o p l e w i t h q u e s t i o n s t h a t a r e u n r e s o l v e d ? Or w i t h some t h e y n e v e r d i d want t o f a c e , t o r e s o l v e ? What i s my r e s p o n s i b i l i t y i n t h i s s i t u a t i o n ? And a l w a y s I a s k e d m y s e l f how does t h i s r e l a t e t o t h e b r o a d e r B . C . S i k h c u l t u r e r a t h e r t h a n j u s t t o t h i s f a m i l y ? S i n c e I am an a n t h r o p o l o g i s t s t u d y i n g my own c u l t u r e , a few words a r e n e c e s s a r y a b o u t my d u a l r o l e s . D u r i n g t h e w e d d i n g d e s c r i b e d h e r e , my f a m i l y e x p e c t e d me t o e n a c t t h e r o l e s o f a member o f t h e S i k h c u l t u r e , whe reas my s c h o l a r l y i n t e r e s t s p resumed t h e r o l e o f a n t h r o p o l o g i s t . W h i l e i t was n o t i n c o n g r u e n t f o r me t o f u l f i l l b o t h r o l e s , I d i d e x p l o r e and b e g i n t o u n d e r s t a n d t h a t i n o r d e r t o do t h i s , I u n c o n s c i o u s l y m a i n t a i n e d a m e n t a l s e p a r a t i o n be tween t h e two r o l e s . On one o c c a s i o n , some t i m e had l a p s e d b e f o r e I r e a l i z e d t h a t I had g o t c a u g h t up i n t h e f l o w o f t h e e v e n t s I was p a r t i c i p a t i n g i n so t h o r o u g h l y , t h a t I was u n e a s y . I wondered i f t h e e v e n t s j u s t p a s t had made a s u f f i c i e n t i m p r e s s i o n on my - 14 -memory. I t was a s i f f o r a b r i e f p e r i o d I h a d e x p e r i e n c e d a d i f f e r e n t r e a l i t y , o r a s i n g u l a r r e a l i t y . As I have r e c o r d e d i n my f i e l d n o t e s , a t t h a t moment I was c o n s c i o u s o f t h e f a c t t h a t as an a n t h r o p o l o g i s t (and p e r h a p s t h e d a n g e r i s more o f a l i a b i l i t y f o r an ' i n s i d e r ' ) , I k e p t a t e n s i o n be tween m y s e l f and t h e f l o w o f e v e n t s , as t h o u g h a p a r t o f me was an o n l o o k e r on my own a c t i o n s . A p a r t f r om my f a m i l y and i n t h e c o n t e x t o f t h e l a r g e r B . C . S i k h communi ty w i t h w h i c h I i n t e r a c t e d d u r i n g my f i e l d w o r k , I f e e l t h e r e were d i f f e r e n t l e v e l s o f r e s p o n s e t o my p r e s e n c e w h i c h r a n g e d f r om unabashed c u r i o u s i t y a b o u t me f r o m s t r a n g e r s t o g o s s i p by o t h e r s . S o m e t i m e s , I f e l t a ' p o l i t e t o l e r a n c e ' , I c a n n o t s a y t h a t I had a f e e l i n g o f r a p p o r t w i t h e v e r y o n e . I u n d e r s t a n d now t h a t j u s t as i n e v e r y d a y l i f e away f r om t h e f i e l d s i t u a t i o n , r a p p o r t w i t h e v e r y o n e i s an i d e a l p e r h a p s , b u t i s n o t a c h i e v a b l e n o r i s i t c r u c i a l . U s u a l l y , p e o p l e went a b o u t t h e a c t i v i t i e s t h e y were engaged i n , i h ' s p i t e o f my p r e s e n c e . They w o r k e d w i t h me, i f I happened t o be i n t h e i r work g r o u p , e n g a g i n g me i n c o n -v e r s a t i o n and i n c l u d i n g me i n t h e i r s . A few women who d i d n o t know me e x p r e s s e d s u r p r i s e t h a t I spoke P u n j a b i , o t h e r s e x p r e s s e d s u r p r i s e a t t h e i r s u r p r i s e . (My P u n j a b i , h a l t i n g a t f i r s t , seemed t o r e t u r n c o m p l e t e l y w i t h i n j u s t s e v e r a l d a y s , a f a c t w h i c h p r o v o k e d some happy comment f r o m my f a m i l y . ) My p e r c e p t i o n i s t h a t I was a c c e p t e d d u r i n g my f i e l d w o r k , w i t h m i x e d r e a c t i o n s . D u r i n g my f i e l d work t h e r e was c o n s t a n t i n t e r e s t i n my d r e s s . My r e l a t i v e s wan ted t o be s u r e t h a t I c o n f o r m e d t o t h e a c c e p t e d a t t i r e , (that o f a s a l v a r and k u r t i o r a s a r i ) a t t h e v a r i o u s e v e n t s I a t t e n d e d . L u c k i l y , as an A u n t I was g i v e n a ' P u n j a b i ' s u i t o f c l o t h e s t o w e a r . - 15 -B u t , t h e y were n e v e r q u i t e r i g h t - t h e y e v o k e d comment s u c h a s , "We w i l l have a n o t h e r s e t made t h a t f i t s you b e t t e r " , o r , "They a r e s t i l l t o o t i g h t " , e t c . I t h i n k p a r t o f t h e p r o b l e m was t h a t I d i d n o t know how t o move i n s u c h ga rmen ts - I c a n n o t remember how t o c r o s s t h e ends o f a s h a w l o r o v e r w h i c h s h o u l d e r t h e y s h o u l d f a l l . When I wear a s a r i , I f e e l t h a t my movements a r e a l w a y s i n c o n g r u e n t w i t h t h e f l o w o f t h e g a r m e n t . J u s t as I t h i n k I have l e a r n e d how t o t i e a s a r i , I f i n d t h a t t h e r e was one more t r i c k t o m a k i n g ' t h e f o l d s r i g h t , o r t h a t I wea r i t t o o h i g h o f f t h e f l o o r o r . . . o r . . . ! I n t h i s r e s p e c t , my p r e s e n c e d i d c r e a t e a p r o b l e m f o r my r e l a t i v e s . A t f i r s t , t h e r e were t i m e s when I d i d a l t e r t h e s i t u a t i o n i n s m a l l ways b u t w i t h o u t t o o m u c h ' c o n c e r n , s u c h as when I m e n t i o n e d a song and dance I h a d s e e n p e r f o r m e d a t one o f t h e w e d d i n g s when I was a c h i l d . L a t e r , I was t o s e e i t g i v e n a p r o m i n e n t p a r t i n t h e women's dance a t t h e h a l l . A t o t h e r t i m e s , a f o o d w h i c h I h a d m e n t i o n e d a s b e i n g a f a v o u r i t e w o u l d b e p r e p a r e d f o r u s . I t was o n l y when I i s s u e d an i n v i t a t i o n t o a f r i e n d who i s a p r o f e s s i o n a l d a n c e r , a s k i n g h e r t o dance a t t h e women's d a n c e , t h a t I r e a l i z e d I had i n t r o d u c e d change t o a t r a d i t i o n a l e v e n t . A f t e r t h a t I was v e r y c a r e f u l i n mak ing s u g g e s t i o n s m y s e l f , b u t w a t c h e d as p e o p l e i n n o v a t e d where t h e y had t o i n a p p r o x i m a t i n g t h e t r a d i t i o n a l e v e n t s . Toward t h e end o f my f i e l d w o r k , and a few t i m e s b e f o r e , I f e l t t h a t , my p r e s e n c e was a n u i s a n c e , b u t t h e n any g u e s t w i t h whom one i n t e r a c t s i n t e n s e l y f o r days on end c a n wear o u t h e r w e l c o m e . A f t e r a l l , I had been a s k i n g e n d l e s s q u e s t i o n s , t a l k i n g w i t h e v e r y o n e and l i s t i n g g r o c e r i e s , t a k i n g p h o t o g r a p h s , r e c o r d i n g s o n g s , e t c . I t h i n k t h a t t h i s - 16 -f may have been o f f s e t by my e x p e d i t i n g some o f t h e wedd ing p r e p a r a t i o n s by t a k i n g p e o p l e s h o p p i n g , g o i n g on e r r a n d s , and h e l p i n g t o p r e p a r e t h e f o o d s . I n o r d e r t o e n s u r e a s h i g h a d e g r e e o f a c c u r a c y as p o s s i b l e , I c h e c k e d t h o s e t h i n g s w h i c h I knew as a member o f t h e c u l t u r e , t h a t i s my r e a l i t y a g a i n s t t h a t o f o t h e r s , and t h e n a t t e m p t e d t o s t a y as c l o s e as p o s s i b l e t o what t h e y s a i d . O f t e n , I w o u l d a s k s e v e r a l p e o p l e f o r t h e i r i n t e r p r e t a t i o n o f an e v e n t t o e n s u r e t h e d a t a were a c c u r a t e . T h e i r p e r c e p t i o n o f what I wan ted t o know was so s h a r p t h a t a t t i m e s , I f e l t t h e y had a l r e a d y e n c o u n t e r e d t h e a n t h r o p o l o g i s t . T h i s f r a n k a c c o u n t i s o f f e r e d w i t h o u t a p o l o g y , i n t h e i n t e r e s t o f s c h o l a r l y h o n e s t y and i n s u p p o r t o f t h e v a l i d i t y o f t h e c o n t e n t o f t h i s documen t . I t h i n k t h e a c c o u n t i s an a c c u r a t e one o f t h e e v e n t s w h i c h t o o k p l a c e d u r i n g t h e r e c o r d i n g o f t h i s w e d d i n g . I n my e s t i m a t i o n my p r e s e n c e , w h i l e i t d i d n o t go u n n o t i c e d , d i d n o t s i g n i f i c a n t l y change t h e s i t u a t i o n . As G e e r t z (1963 :19) o b s e r v e s : "The e t h n o g r a p h e r ' i n s c r i b e s ' s o c i a l d i s c o u r s e ; he_ w r i t e s i t down. I n so d o i n g , he t u r n s i t f r o m a p a s s i n g e v e n t , w h i c h e x i s t s o n l y i n i t s own moment o f o c c u r r e n c e , i n t o an a c c o u n t , w h i c h e x i s t s i n i t s i n s c r i p t i o n s and c a n be r e c o n s u l t e d " . As s u c h t h i s document i s " e s s e n t i a l l y c o n t e s t a b l e " and i t i s my hope t h a t i t w i l l be s e e n as a s o u r c e f r o m w h i c h o t h e r s p e r c e i v e p r o b l e m s t o be a d d r e s s e d , and i n t o a f u r t h e r r e f i n e m e n t o f t h e s t u d y o f t h i s c u l t u r e . The c o n c e p t s and f a c t s p r e s e n t e d h e r e w i l l e n a b l e o t h e r s t o d e l v e more d e e p l y i n t o t h e c u l t u r a l l i f e o f t h e C a n a d i a n P u n j a b i S i k h s , and t o show t o a l l C a n a d i a n s t h e r i c h n e s s o f t h e v a l u e s , b e l i e f s , and a t t i t u d e s o f t h i s g r o u p . FOOTNOTES I u s e t h e t e r m C a n a d i a n P u n j a b i S i k h s t o d i f f e r e n t i a t e be tween S i k h s i n t h e P u n j a b i n I n d i a and p e o p l e o f P u n j a b i S i k h d e s c e n t r e s i d e n t i n B . C . w h e r e v e r t h e y may h a v e b e e n b o r n . My s t u d y c o n c e r n s S i k h s f r om v i l l a g e P u n j a b o r t h e i r d e s c e n d e n t s who have s e t t l e d i n a r u r a l a r e a o f t h e F r a s e r V a l l e y i n B r i t i s h C o l u m b i a . H e r e a f t e r , I w i l l r e f e r t o them as B . C . S i k h s ( a f t e r Ames & I n g l i s , B . C . S t u d i e s , No . 2 0 , W i n t e r 1 9 7 3 - 7 4 , p p . 1 5 - 4 9 ) . F o r an h i s t o r i c a l b a c k g r o u n d o f B . C . S i k h s , I r e f e r t h e r e a d e r t o " C o n f l i c t and Change i n B r i t i s h C o l u m b i a S i k h F a m i l y L i f e " by M i c h a e l M. Ames and J o y I n g l i s , B . C . S t u d i e s , N o . 2 0 , W i n t e r 1 9 7 3 - 7 4 , p p . 1 5 - 4 9 . W a l t e r G o l d s c h m i d t (1969 :19 ) p o s e s t h e s e two q u e s t i o n s . The t o p i c o f t h i s t h e s i s was o r i g i n a l l y s u g g e s t e d as a p a p e r t o p i c by a member o f my g r a d u a t e c o m m i t t e e , D r . J u d y P u g h . D r . M.M. Ames gave t h i s a d v i c e t o me as I l e f t f o r t h e f i e l d w o r k . - 18 -CHAPTER I THE BETROTHAL (MUNGNA) T h i s c h a p t e r i s d i v i d e d i n t o t h r e e p a r t s . F i r s t , I b e g i n w i t h t h r e e m o d e l s w h i c h I p o s t u l a t e (ex p o s t f a c t o ) , t o be t h e o r g a n i z i n g p r i n c i p l e s o r ' c o n s c i o u s m o d e l s ' B . C . S i k h s have o f t h e i r own s o c i a l sys tem." ' " S e c o n d , I e x p l o r e a n d summar ize my i m p r e s s i o n s as an i n s i d e r , 2 o f wha t I know o f t h e ways i n w h i c h S i k h m a r r i a g e s a r e a r r a n g e d . T h i r d , I p r e s e n t t h e d a t a , t h a t i s , wha t I was t o l d a b o u t b e t r o t h a l s and what I saw and h a d e x p l a i n e d t o m e , d u r i n g t h e s h o w i n g o f two f a m i l y f i l m s a b o u t b e t r o t h a l s , and l a t e r a t a f a m i l y d i n n e r . I n mos t o f t h i s c h a p t e r , r a t h e r t h a n p r e s e n t i n g e a c h s e c t i o n , and t h e n comment ing on i t f r om my p e r s p e c t i v e , I have c h o s e n t o embed t h e commentary a n d , s o m e t i m e s , t o f o o t n o t e i t , t h r o u g h o u t t h e p r e s e n t a t i o n . I do t h i s t o make more e x p l i c i t how I have come t o ' k n o w ' t h e s e f a c t s , o f how i n o t h e r w o r d s , know ledge was c o n s t r u c t e d i n t h e p r o c e s s o f my d o i n g e t h n o g r a p h y . I do n o t a t t e m p t t o make g e n e r a l i z a t i o n s f r o m t h i s d a t a w h i c h w i l l be a p p l i c a b l e t o t h e w h o l e o f C a n a d i a n P u n j a b i S i k h c u l t u r e . I n s t e a d , t h i s i s t h e p r e s e n t a t i o n o f one w e d d i n g r i t u a l , t h e e v e n t s t h a t p r e c e d e d and f o l l o w e d i t , i n a r u r a l P u n j a b i S i k h f a m i l y . As s u c h , t h i s t h e s i s p r o v i d e s a b a s e l i n e t o w a r d s t h e c o n s t r u c t i o n h e r e a f t e r o f e m p i r i c a l l y t e s t a b l e h y p o t h e s e s a b o u t o t h e r S i k h w e d d i n g s i n r u r a l and u r b a n a r e a s ; and a b o u t t h e a d a p t a t i o n s t a k i n g p l a c e i n t h e s o c i a l o r g a n i z a t i o n o f t h e S i k h s as C a n a d i a n i m m i g r a n t s . U n d e r l y i n g t h e ma in p r e s e n t a t i o n a r e themes s u c h as t h e s t r u g g l e be tween e t h n i c i t y and a s s i m i l a t i o n , be tween t h e - 19 -c u l t u r a l norms and t h e p a t t e r n s o f a c t i o n s w h i c h t h e y o u n g e r members want t o l i v e b y , and t h e a t t e m p t s o f t h e communi ty t o b r i n g a b o u t some c o n g r u e n c e be tween b e l i e f s , v a l u e s , and a c t i o n . I The f i r s t o f t h e ' c o n s c i o u s m o d e l s ' r e f e r r e d t o above i s t he 3 ' i d e o l o g i c a l m o d e l ' . M o s t B . C . S i k h s have b e l i e f s and e x p e c t a t i o n s b a s e d on t r a d i t i o n s and e x p e r i e n c e f r o m I n d i a , o f wha t a S i k h m a r r i a g e i s s u p p o s e d t o b e , w h i c h t h e y e n d e a v o u r t o a p p r o x i m a t e i n t h e C a n a d i a n s e t t i n g . The P u n j a b i J a t S i k h s o f I n d i a who m i g r a t e t o C a n a d a , a r e an endogamous c a s t e g r o u p , d i v i d e d i n t o a l a r g e number o f exogamous g o t h ( p a t r i - c l a n s ) . I d e a l l y , m a r r i a g e s a r e a r r a n g e d f o l l o w i n g a n c i e n t r u l e s w h i c h p r o h i b i t m a r r y i n g i n t o o n e ' s f a t h e r ' s g o t h ( t h a t i s o n e ' s own l i n e a g e ) , o n e ' s m o t h e r ' s g o t h , o n e ' s f a t h e r ' s m o t h e r ' s g o t h , and o n e ' s m o t h e r ' s 4 m o t h e r s g o t h . F u r t h e r m o r e , v i l l a g e exogamy i s p r a c t i s e d . I n f a c t m a r r i a g e s c a n n o t even be a r r a n g e d i n b o r d e r i n g ( s im s imna) v i l l a g e s , b u t must be i n v i l l a g e s a t l e a s t 10 t o 15 m i l e s a p a r t . The g r e a t e r t h e d i s t a n c e be tween v i l l a g e s , t he more p r e s t i g i o u s t h e m a r r i a g e i s c o n s i d e r e d t o b e . T h i s m o d e l , d e v e l o p e d o v e r c e n t u r i e s , i n c o r p o r a t e s t h e i d e o l o g y o f a s t r o n g l y e n t r e n c h e d p a t r i l i n e a l , p a t r i l o c a l b a s e d e x t e n d e d f a m i l y s t r u c t u r e w i t h ma le d o m i n a n c e , S i k h r e l i g i o u s b e l i e f s , and r i t u a l s w h i c h I t h i n k may be f r o m an a n c i e n t f o l k t r a d i t i o n . B . C . S i k h p a r e n t s evoke t h i s t r a d i t i o n a l o r i d e o l o g i c a l mode l as t h e y b r i n g up t h e i r f a m i l i e s : - 20 -I t i s a model f o r s o c i a l action, which not only provides c r i t e r i a f o r j u s t i f i c a t i o n or c r i t i c i s m a f t e r an event, but also influences choice and decision beforehand (Ward, 1965:122). With the ' i d e o l o g i c a l model' as a base, the second of the 'conscious models' i s the 'actual' or 'immediate model' which i s that of the B.C. Sikhs s o c i a l and c u l t u r a l l i f e as they know i t and l i v e i t day to day. I t has a notable uniformity. At the same time, there i s considerable v a r i e t y based on a) the d i s t r i c t or area i n Punjab from which the family came, b) the s t r a t e g i e s they adopt (as i n d i v i d u a l s , and as families) as they contend with the Canadian s i t u a t i o n , c) t h e i r economic, educational and p o l i t i c a l circumstances, d) the si z e of t h e i r kinship network i n Canada and f i n a l l y , e) the length of time they have l i v e d i n Canada. I believe that Sikhs as migrants i n India or as immigrants to Canada, have an appreciation of themselves as a people characterized by " v a r i e t y - i n -uniformity" knowing strongly that i n s p i t e of d i f f e r e n c e s and i n t e r n a l d i v i s i o n s , they are a group of people sharing a common r e l i g i o n , and other common b e l i e f s and values. The t h i r d model postulated (but not explored f u l l y here), i s the Sikh 'observers' model (the B.C. Sikh's model) of the larger white Canadian m i l i e u which encapsulates Sikhs as an ethnic minority. This construct i s based on what the B.C. Sikhs believe to be the most notable c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s of that white culture. According to Ames and I n g l i s (1973-74:28), t h i s l a t t e r model, based c h i e f l y on mass media sources, 5 tends to be a negative one. - 21 -I I As I s t a t e i n t h e I n t r o d u c t i o n , I am u s i n g S i n g e r ' s i d e a o f ' c u l t u r a l p e r f o r m a n c e ' . W i t h t h i s a p p r o a c h i n m i n d , I s e t t h e s t a g e f o r t h e d e s c r i p t i o n o f a B . C . S i k h w e d d i n g as a c u l t u r a l p e r f o r m a n c e b e g i n n i n g w i t h t h e f i r s t c o n c r e t e a c t i n t h i s p e r f o r m a n c e , t h e mungna o r b e t r o t h a l . I e x p l o r e t h e mungna, o r b e t r o t h a l p r o c e s s as i t i s p r a c t i s e d by t h e B . C . S i k h s , , a t t e n d i n g t o t h e f o l l o w i n g q u e s t i o n s : a) who i s b e t r o t h e d ? b) when i s a b e t r o t h a l p e r f o r m e d ? c) how a r e b e t r o t h a l s n e g o t i a t e d ? d) where a r e t h e y c o n d u c t e d ? A f t e r an i n t r o d u c t o r y e x p l o r a t i o n o f t h e s e i s s u e s , two c a s e s t u d i e s o f mungnas a r e d e s c r i b e d . T h r o u g h o u t , I u s e and e x p l a i n P u n j a b i t e rms f o r k i n s h i p and o t h e r b e l i e f s and v a l u e s . I t i s my i m p r e s s i o n t h a t amongst t h e C a n a d i a n P u n j a b i S i k h f a m i l i e s o f t h e l o w e r m a i n l a n d and F r a s e r V a l l e y a r e a o f B r i t i s h C o l u m b i a , p a r e n t s a t t e m p t t o a r r a n g e m a r r i a g e s f o r t h e i r c h i l d r e n as soon as t h e y a r e a b o u t t o c o m p l e t e h i g h s c h o o l ( f o r g i r l s ) , o r a y e a r o r two l a t e r ( f o r b o y s ) . As i n I n d i a , unwed d a u g h t e r s o r s o n s a r e a s o u r c e o f g r e a t a n x i e t y , f o r t h e l o n g e r t h e y a r e s i n g l e , t h e g r e a t e r t h e chance o f t h e i r f o r m i n g l i a i s o n s w i t h t h o s e u n a c c e p t a b l e t o t h e f a m i l y . T h i s i s e s p e c i a l l y i m p o r t a n t i n t h e c a s e o f women, f o r t h e p r e s t i g e o f t h e f a m i l y r e s t s l a r g e l y i n t h e p u r i t y o f t h e d a u g h t e r s . The norm i s t h a t t h e d a u g h t e r s mus t be u n d e r t h e p r o t e c t i o n o f t h e i r b r o t h e r s a n d / o r f a t h e r s 6 and t h e n t h e i r h u s b a n d s . I n C a n a d a , t h e r e a r e two a d d i t i o n a l e l e m e n t s w h i c h a r e o f c o n c e r n . F i r s t , t h e r e a r e f e w e r a v a i l a b l e c h o i c e s , s i n c e t h e i m m i g r a n t s - 22 -have u s u a l l y been r e c r u i t e d on t h e b a s i s o f k i n s h i p . T h u s , m a r r i a g e r u l e s c o u l d be b r o k e n by an unknow ing r o m a n t i c a l l y i n c l i n e d c o u p l e unaware o f t h e i r g o t r a r e l a t i o n s h i p s ( few young p e o p l e i n Canada know t h e 7 m a r r i a g e r u l e s ) . S e c o n d , t h e g r e a t e r f r e e d o m t o i n t e r a c t i n c o - e d u c a t i o n a l s e t t i n g s r a i s e s t h e p o s s i b i l i t y o f m i x e d m a r r i a g e s . These two p o i n t s a r e o f d i f f e r e n t i a l c o n c e r n t o o , d e p e n d i n g upon w h e t h e r t h e f a m i l i e s l i v e i n r u r a l o r u r b a n a r e a s . I n r u r a l C a n a d i a n a r e a s , where t h e r e i s a P u n j a b i - S i k h commun i t y , i t i s e a s i e r t o a p p r o x i m a t e t h e S i k h i d e a l s b e c a u s e t h e d i s t a n c e s t o be t r a v e l l e d t o d a n c e s , games a t s c h o o l , o r even t o s h o p , a r e e a s i l y g i v e n as a r e a s o n t o keep young p e o p l e a t home. I n t h e u r b a n m i l i e u , i t i s much more d i f f i c u l t t o c u r t a i l t h e a c t i v i t i e s o f young p e o p l e . T h i s i s p a r t l y b e c a u s e t h e t e m p l e f u n c t i o n s d i f f e r e n t l y i n t h e two s e t t i n g s . I n t h e r u r a l a r e a , b e c a u s e o f t h e i s o l a t i o n , t h e S i k h t e m p l e s e r v e s as a p l a c e a) t o s o c i a b l y meet o t h e r s , b) t o w o r s h i p i n common, and c) t o c o n d u c t t h e b u s i n e s s o f t h e S i k h communi ty f r om t h e p o l i t i c s o f t h e commun i t y , t o o u t s i d e i n t e r e s t s and c o n f l i c t s w h i c h c a n be a i r e d a t t h e t e m p l e . The t e m p l e i s t h e p l a c e where t h e v a l u e s and b e l i e f s o f t h e S i k h s a r e r e i n f o r c e d . The y o u n g e r members o f t h e r u r a l communi ty l o o k f o r w a r d t o t h e s e o u t i n g s , w h i c h a l s o i n c l u d e g o i n g t o t e m p l e s e r v i c e s i n o t h e r p l a c e s , s u c h as New W e s t m i n s t e r , V a n c o u v e r , o r V i c t o r i a . I n t h e u r b a n a r e a s , b y : c o n t r a s t , where t h e r e a r e more c h o i c e s o f ' a c c e p t a b l e ' s o c i a l o u t i n g s , t h e t e m p l e i s l e s s i m p o r t a n t as a l o c u s f o r s o c i a l c o n t a c t s . I t i s my i m p r e s s i o n t h a t t h e r e i s more d i v e r g e n c e f r o m t h e S i k h i d e a l s i n t h e u r b a n a r e a s . - 23 -I n b o t h u r b a n and r u r a l a r e a s , m a r r i a g e s a r e a r r a n g e d be tween two p e o p l e a f t e r many c o n s i d e r a t i o n s and r e q u i r e m e n t s a r e me t . I n t h e S i k h commun i t y , w h i c h i s i d e a l l y p a t r i l i n e a l and p a t r i l o c a l , i t i s c o n s i d e r e d a m i s f o r t u n e i f a f a m i l y does n o t have a s o n o r sons t o c o n t i n u e t h e f a m i l y name, t o i n h e r i t t h e f a t h e r ' s a n c e s t r a l p r o p e r t y ( i n I n d i a a n d i n C a n a d a ) , and t o p e r f o r m h i s f u n e r a r y r i t e s . The e a r l y a r r a n g e m e n t o f m a r r i a g e s i s s e e n as a way o f m a i n t a i n i n g t h e v a l u e s o f t h e commun i t y . I f a young man m a r r i e s o u t s i d e h i s e t h n i c g r o u p , t h e s o c i e t a l , f a m i l i a l o r i e n t a t i o n o f t h e S i k h s c a n n o t be c o n t i n u e d . Few W e s t e r n women w o u l d w i l l i n g l y f u l f i l t h e a r d u o u s t a s k s f o r t h e i r m o t h e r s - i n - l a w t h a t a r e e x p e c t e d f r om the I n d i a n d a u g h t e r - i n -l a w . T h u s , i t i s c o n s i d e r e d a g r e a t h a r d s h i p , as w e l l as a d i s a p p o i n t m e n t t o t h e m o t h e r i f h e r t r a d i t i o n a l r o l e i s u n f u l f i l l e d , a n d she does n o t f i n a l l y have a d a u g h t e r - i n - l a w t o l o o k a f t e r t h e h o u s e h o l d t a s k s . ( T h i s i s , h o w e v e r , c h a n g i n g r a p i d l y , f o r even S i k h d a u g h t e r s - i n - l a w i n Canada soon l e a r n t h a t n u c l e a r f a m i l y l i v i n g i s n o t o n l y e a s i e r i n many w a y s , b u t i s p o s s i b l e ) . I t i s c o n s i d e r e d s h a m e f u l f o r a S i k h woman t o m a r r y o u t s i d e h e r c u l t u r e , f o r she f i r s t must have met and known t h e man t o have become r o m a n t i c a l l y i n t e r e s t e d i n h i m . He r p o s i t i o n i n t h e S i k h communi ty i s d i f f i c u l t u n l e s s and u n t i l h e r f a m i l y shows h e r some s u p p o r t . Mos t f a m i l i e s do n o t do so a t f i r s t , - a n d a t t e m p t t o d i s s u a d e t h e i r d a u g h t e r s . Some f a m i l i e s have a t t e m p t e d t o a r r a n g e h a s t y w e d d i n g s w i t h l o c a l S i k h f a m i l i e s where p o s s i b l e , t h o u g h u s u a l l y i t i s n o t . Once t h e l o c a l communi ty knows t h e woman i s ' r u n n i n g a r o u n d ' , i t i s n o t i n t e r e s t e d i n h e r as a p r o s p e c t i v e b r i d e . I n s u c h an e v e n t , where t h e w e d d i n g be tween - 24 -t h e woman and a man o f a n o t h e r e t h n i c g r o u p does t a k e p l a c e , t h e f a m i l y w i l l o f t e n a c c e p t t h e s i t u a t i o n , b u t w i t h o u t much g r a c e . U s u a l l y , t h e y a r e r e p e a t e d l y ' s y m p a t h i z e d w i t h ' a t t h e s o c i a l f u n c t i o n s , w h i c h p u t s them i n a p o s i t i o n o f d e f e n d i n g t h e i r c h i l d and t h e m s e l v e s . T h e r e may be d i m i n i s h e d r e l a t i o n s h i p s t h e r e a f t e r be tween t h e mo the r and t h e o t h e r women. One e l d e r l y f e m a l e i n f o r m a n t t o l d me " . . . i t i s q u i t e a t i r e s o m e c h o r e t o a r r a n g e m a r r i a g e s " . When I a s k e d , "How does one f i n d someone who i s e l i g i b l e ? " She r e p l i e d : I t i s t h r o u g h f r i e n d s o r r e l a t i v e s , t h a t we come t o know a b o u t e l i g i b l e b o y s and g i r l s , t h e n i t i s t e d i o u s s e n d i n g someone t o a s k a b o u t t hem, t h e n g o i n g t o v i s i t t h e i r f a m i l i e s t o l o o k a t t hem, t h e i r c i r c u m s t a n c e s , t h e i r s i k i r i a . ^ Then y o u t r y t o s e e i f t h a t boy o r g i r l w i l l f i t i n t o t h e f a m i l y . . . I a s k e d : How do y o u d e c i d e ? She r e p l i e d : We do wha t we c a n t o a s s u r e a good m a t c h , b u t i t i s r e a l l y up t o God a f t e r t h a t -how much c a n we do - b u t t h e y s h o u l d n o t be c i t y p e o p l e - i f t h e y l i v e t h e r e t o go t o s c h o o l o r w o r k , i s f i n e . . . I a g a i n a s k e d : Why? She r e p l i e d : E v e n i f we c h o o s e someone f r o m t h e c i t i e s i n I n d i a , we l i k e them t o have p a r e n t s i n o u r v i l l a g e s - t h e y a r e more l i k e u s , t h e y know o u r t r a d i t i o n s , t h e way we do b u n d / b a r t h a i , and q u e v i l d a r i . H e r r e p l y s u p p o r t s my i m p r e s s i o n t h a t amongst t h e S i k h s I know h e r e who a r e m a i n l y f r o m r u r a l I n d i a , an a t t e m p t i s made t o m a i n t a i n h e r e t h e q u a l i t y o f l i f e o f r u r a l I n d i a . - 25 -On t h e o t h e r h a n d , r e c o g n i z i n g t h e l ow e s t i m a t i o n w h i c h S i k h s b o r n and r a i s e d i n Canada have o f v i l l a g e l i f e , many p a r e n t s a r e e a g e r t o p o i n t o u t t h e k i n s m e n a p r o s p e c t i v e p a r t n e r may have i n I n d i a n c i t i e s . W h i l e B . C . S i k h p a r e n t s a p p r e c i a t e t h a t t h e l i f e s t y l e o f u r b a n I n d i a i s c l o s e r t o t h a t o f t h e West and w i l l a p p e a l more t o C a n a d a - b o r n o r r a i s e d S i k h s , b e t r o t h a l s a r e s t i l l u s u a l l y a r r a n g e d w i t h p e o p l e who have s t r o n g a n c e s t r a l t i e s i n t h e P u n j a b i v i l l a g e s . I a s k e d a n o t h e r m i d d l e - a g e d f e m a l e r e s p o n d e n t : Why n o t a r r a n g e t h e m a r r i a g e s h e r e , be tween C a n a d a - b o r n and r a i s e d young p e o p l e ? Why n o t i n T o r o n t o o r C a l i f o r n i a ? She r e p l i e d : We d o n ' t have t i m e t o go t o t h e s e p l a c e s - we work a l l y e a r . When c a n we go t h e r e ? T h i s r e p l y showed a g r e a t d e a l o f f r u s t r a t i o n . T h i s f r u s t r a t i o n p r o b a b l y a r i s e s f r o m d i f f i c u l t i e s a s s o c i a t e d w i t h t r a v e l i n C a n a d a , s u c h as a r r a n g i n g accommoda t ion i n u r b a n c e n t e r s and n o t h a v i n g a d e q u a t e E n g l i s h l a n g u a g e . The re may a l s o be a l a c k o f a g n a t i c and a f f i n a l n e t w o r k s on whom t o r e l y f o r h e l p i n a r r a n g i n g m a r r i a g e s . By g o i n g t o I n d i a , S i k h s go t o p l a c e s f a m i l i a r t o t h e m , u s u a l l y t o t h e i r own homes i n t h e i r a n c e s t r a l v i l l a g e s , where t h e y c a n e x p e c t t h e b e t r o t h a l s t o be a r r a n g e d i n t h e t r a d i t i o n a l w a y s . One young B . C . S i k h woman t o l d me t h a t she has a g r e e d t o h e r p a r e n t s a r r a n g i n g h e r m a r r i a g e , b u t t h a t she h a s a s k e d t h a t i t be w i t h someone l i k e h e r s e l f , b o r n and r a i s e d i n C a n a d a , w i t h i d e a s s i m i l a r t o h e r own. The d i f f i c u l t y i s t o f i n d someone e l i g i b l e . I t h i n k t h a t t h o s e who a r e c o n s i d e r e d h i g h l y e l i g i b l e a r e t h o s e who a r e i n u n i v e r s i t y , o r t h o s e who have c o m p l e t e d t h e i r e d u c a t i o n and have good j o b s . These - 26 -p e o p l e a r e i n h i g h demand; t h e y u s u a l l y s e l e c t t h e i r own p a r t n e r s i n Canada o r have a good d e a l o f i n p u t i n t o whom t h e y m a r r y f r om I n d i a . I was t o l d t h a t mos t young women h e r e w i l l n o t l e t t h e i r f a m i l i e s p r e s e n t them as ' e l i g i b l e ' when t h e y know t h a t t h e young man has a p r e f e r e n c e f o r someone a l r e a d y . One e i g h t e e n - y e a r - o l d woman s a i d : I 'm n o t g o i n g t o b r e a k up two p e o p l e who a r e i n l o v e - how w o u l d I f e e l m a r r i e d t o a man who l o v e s a n o t h e r woman - s o t h e c h o i c e i s someone f r o m I n d i a - b u t I w o u l d r a t h e r have m a r r i e d someone f r o m C a n a d a . I ' l l do what t h e y ( t h e p a r e n t s ) s a y , i t w o u l d h u r t them t o o much i f I d o n ' t . I j u s t wan t i t t o be soon now, s o t h a t I can l e a v e and have some f r e e d o m . She was v e r y c l e a r i n h e r c o m p a r i s o n w i t h h e r s e l f and h e r w h i t e f r i e n d s . She s a i d : They l o o k a t m a r r i a g e a s b e i n g ' t i e d down ' and t h e y l a u g h when I s a y t h e n I ' l l • f i n a l l y b e f r e e ! One S i k h e x p r e s s i o n f o r s e e k i n g mates f o r c h i l d r e n i s t o say u s e n pwch p a i s i , m e a n i n g "we a s k e d f o r (were s e e k i n g ) i n f o r m a t i o n " . U s u a l l y , t h i s i n f o r m a t i o n i s s o u g h t f r om t h e k i n s h i p n e t w o r k i n I n d i a , o r o c c a s i o n a l l y f rom c l o s e f r i e n d s i n Canada o r I n d i a , a n d / o r t h r o u g h a d v e r t i s e m e n t s i n I n d i a n newspape rs , i n t h e l o c a l e i n w h i c h one i s h o p i n g t o f i n d a mate f o r t h e i r d a u g h t e r o r s o n . When t h e f a m i l y has know ledge o f someone e l i g i b l e , t h e y a t t e m p t t o have d i s c r e e t i n q u i r i e s made a b o u t t h e p e r s o n . Once t h e c h o i c e i s r e g a r d e d as f a i r l y c e r t a i n , t h e f a m i l y o f t h e b o y ' s s i d e i s u s u a l l y made aware o f t h e f a c t t h a t t h e i r c h i l d i s c o n s i d e r e d a s u i t a b l e m a t c h ; a n d t h e y a r e t h e n f r e e i f t h e y a r e i n t e r e s t e d , - 27 -t o b e g i n c o n d u c t i n g t h e i r own i n q u i r y i n t o t h e g i r l ' s f a m i l y . A f t e r i n i t i a l i n q u i r i e s by t h e woman's s i d e a r e c o m p l e t e d , and i f t h e r e seems t o be good c h a n c e o f s u c c e s s f u l n e g o t i a t i o n s , a more d i r e c t c o n t a c t w i t h t h e b o y ' s f a m i l y i s made, and t h e y a r e a s k e d a b o u t t h e i r w i l l i n g n e s s t o e s t a b l i s h an a l l i a n c e w i t h t h e g i r l ' s f a m i l y . By t h e t i m e t h i s h a p p e n s , t h e b o y ' s f a m i l y h a s a l s o u s u a l l y made i n q u i r i e s a b o u t t h e g i r l and h e r f a m i l y , and have made an i n i t i a l d e c i s i o n t o engage i n t h e t a l k s w h i c h may r e s u l t i n an a l l i a n c e be tween t h e two t a b a r ( f a m i l i e s ) . Once t h e d i s c u s s i o n i s underway and t h e f o r m a t i o n o f t h e dowry d e c i d e d , t h e f u t u r e o f t h e young c o u p l e , and s u c h t h i n g s a r e i r o n e d o u t ; and when t he two s i d e s a r e s a t i s f i e d , t h e g i r l ' s s i d e g i v e s a r u p e e t o t h e b o y ' s f a t h e r o r t h e f a t h e r ' s r e p r e s e n t a t i v e . T h i s r u p e e s y m b o l i z e s t h e i r s u c c e s s f u l n e g o t i a t i o n s , a n d i s t h e b e g i n n i n g o f a l i f e l o n g s e t o f e x c h a n g e s be tween t h e two l i n e s . The r e l a t i o n s h i p s y m b o l i z e d by t h e r u p e e i s c o n t r a c t u a l i n t h e s e n s e t h a t once a c c e p t e d , t h e r e c e i v e r c a n n o t d i s r e g a r d o r r e t u r n t h e r u p e e w i t h o u t t h e o p p r o b r i u m o f t h e commun i t y . I t i s c o n s i d e r e d a s e r i o u s i n s u l t t o t h e woman's f a m i l y i f t h e m a r r i a g e n e g o t i a t i o n s a r e b r o k e n o f f a f t e r t h e a c c e p t a n c e o f t h e r u p e e . T h e r e a r e o n l y a few c i r c u m s t a n c e s u n d e r w h i c h s u c h a c t i o n c a n be t a k e n , u s u a l l y j u s t i f i e d i n t e r m s o f t h e u n w o r t h i n e s s o f t h e g i r l f o r p h y s i c a l o r m o r a l r e a s o n s . I f t h e woman's s i d e t e r m i n a t e s t h e n e g o t i a t i o n s , t he b r e a c h i s s l i g h t l y l e s s damag ing t o t h e boy b u t i s c o n s i d e r e d an a f f r o n t n e v e r t h e l e s s . A b r e a k i n n e g o t i a t i o n s , f o l l o w i n g t h e a c c e p t a n c e o f t h e r u p e e , c o u l d s e r i o u s l y i m p a i r o r hamper a woman's c h a n c e s o f m a k i n g a n o t h e r s u i t a b l e m a t c h . F o r t h e s e r e a s o n s , p e o p l e do n o t u n d e r t a k e - 28 -s e r i o u s f a c e - t o - f a c e i n t e r a c t i o n u n t i l t h e y have e x h a u s t e d t h e i r " s e a r c h f o r i n f o r m a t i o n " f a n d a r e c e r t a i n o f t h e c h o i c e e x c e p t f o r t h e g i v i n g o f t h e r u p e e ; a n d t h e d i s c u s s i o n a t t h a t t i m e b y t h e r e p r e s e n t a t i v e s o f e a c h s i d e , o f t h e i r m u t u a l e x p e c t a t i o n s a b o u t t h e t i m e o f t h e m a r r i a g e and t h e p r e p a r a t i o n s and c o s t s . The a c c e p t a n c e o f t h e r u p e e t h e n , i n d i c a t e s t h a t t h e mungna has b e e n s u c c e s s f u l l y n e g o t i a t e d . I t i s as i f t h e g i r l ' s f a m i l y has " a s k e d f o r " t h e m a n , a n d t h e g i v i n g o f t h e r u p e e i s s y m b o l i c o f t h e b e g i n n i n g o f a l i f e t i m e o f e x c h a n g e s o r t r a n s a c t i o n s be tween t h e two t a b a r ( f a m i l i e s ) o r khandan ( m i n i m a l l i n e a g e s ) . " * " ^ Once t h e r u p e e h a s b e e n a c c e p t e d t h e mungna a c t i v i t i e s a r e unde rway . The m i l n i , t h e m e e t i n g o f t h e r e l a t i v e s o f b o t h s i d e s , u s u a l l y t a k e s p l a c e i n t h e v i l l a g e o f t h e b o y ' s s i d e . The woman's f a m i l y go t o t h e f o r m a l mungna and m i l n i r i t e en m a s s e , t a k i n g w i t h them t h e g i f t s f o r t h e man, h i s f a t h e r , m o t h e r , h i s f a t h e r ' s s i s t e r s ( p o o a h ) , h i s f a t h e r ' s y o u n g e r b r o t h e r ( c a c a ) , h i s f a t h e r ' s y o u n g e r b r o t h e r ' s w i f e ( c a c i ) , h i s f a t h e r ' s e l d e r b r o t h e r ( t a i y a ) , h i s f a t h e r ' s e l d e r b r o t h e r ' s w i f e ( t a i y e ) , f o r t h e b r o t h e r s ( b h i r ) , and t h e s i s t e r s ( b h a i n ) , a s w e l l a s f o r o t h e r r e l a t i v e s . P e r h a p s t h e g r a n d f a t h e r (dada) and t h e g r a n d m o t h e r ( dad i ) a r e g i v e n g i f t s t o o . The g i f t s a r e f o o d ( u s u a l l y f r u i t and s w e e t s ) , c l o t h i n g ( s a l v a r and k u r t i ) f o r t h e women, b l a n k e t s f o r t h e men (o r c l o t h i n g s u c h as s a l v a r and k u r t a ) , W e s t e r n c l o t h e s f o r t h e y o u n g e r men. A f t e r t h e g i f t s a r e d i s p l a y e d , t h e s a g a n ( r i t e ) f o r t h e man i s c o n d u c t e d i n h i s v i l l a g e . ' ' " " ' " I t s p u r p o s e i s t o v a l i d a t e , t h e b e t r o t h a l b e f o r e t h e members o f b o t h l i n e a g e s . - 29 -The young woman i s u s u a l l y i n h e r own v i l l a g e , f o r she does n o t accompany t h e g r o u p g o i n g t o t h e b o y ' s v i l l a g e . L a t e r , she t o o , has a s a g a n p e r f o r m e d f o r h e r , i n h e r own v i l l a g e . I n mos t N o r t h I n d i a n v i l l a g e s t h e r u l e i s t h a t m a r r i a g e s s h o u l d be a r r a n g e d i n v i l l a g e s a t l e a s t t e n m i l e s and u s u a l l y f i f t e e n t o t w e n t y m i l e s a p a r t . A b r i d e ' s f a t h e r ' s v i l l a g e i s r e f e r r e d t o ( w h i l e she i s g r o w i n g up a n d u n t i l h e r wedd ing ) a s h e r p i n d ( v i l l a g e ) , o r as h e r dadke ( f rom d a d a / d a d i m e a n i n g " p a t e r n a l g r a n d f a t h e r " / " g r a n d m o t h e r " , and t h e p o s s e s s i v e s u f f i x ke_, mean ing " o f " o r " b e l o n g i n g t o " ) . A f t e r h e r m a r r i a g e , t h e more common u s a g e i s pake (a c o n t r a c t i o n o f p i o k e , i . e . p i o mean ing " f a t h e r " and ke mean ing " b e l o n g i n g t o " ) . T h i s change i n te rms f u r t h e r e m p h a s i z e s , I t h i n k , h e r r e m o v a l f r om h e r n a t a l v i l l a g e , t h r o u g h m a r r i a g e i n t o a n o t h e r l i n e a g e . By d e f i n i n g h e r c o n n e c t i o n t o h e r v i l l a g e t h r o u g h h e r f a t h e r r a t h e r t h a n h e r g r a n d f a t h e r ( i . e . t o one g e n e r a t i o n i n d e p t h ) , p e o p l e d e - e m p h a s i z e h e r n a t a l a t t a c h m e n t . By c u s t o m , a woman's s h a r e o f a n c e s t r a l p r o p e r t y i s f u l f i l l e d 12 by t h e payment o f a d o w r y . . I n f u t u r e she w i l l r e c e i v e ' g i f t s ' f o r h e r s e l f and h e r h u s b a n d ' s f a m i l y , w h i c h h e r p a r e n t s w i l l be o b l i g a t e d t o g i v e ; b u t she c a n n o t r e c i p r o c a t e f r o m t h e h o u s e h o l d o f h e r h u s b a n d . A woman's p a r e n t s w i l l , n o t u s u a l l y a c c e p t a g i f t f r o m a m a r r i e d d a u g h t e r ' s h o u s e h o l d , o r t h e y mus t r e t u r n more t h a n t h e y r e c e i v e . I n most c a s e s a d a u g h t e r w i l l n o t a c c e p t a g i f t f r o m h e r h u s b a n d ' s f a m i l y f o r h e r a g n a t e s because-^ she knows t h e y c a n n o t a f f o r d t o become i n v o l v e d i n s u c h e x c h a n g e s . A i n a p a r q u o r n chuke? (who c a n c a r r y s u c h a w e i g h t ? ) , i s a common way o f e x p r e s s i n g t h e i d e a o f an economic b u r d e n o r exchange d e b t . - 30 -A woman 's c h i l d r e n have a s p e c i a l r e l a t i o n s h i p t o h e r f a t h e r ; he i s t h e i r nana ( m a t e r n a l g r a n d f a t h e r ) and h e r m o t h e r i s t h e i r n a n i ( m a t e r n a l g r a n d m o t h e r ) . As s u c h , t h e y a r e a f f e c t i v e l y i m p o r t a n t and i m p o r t a n t on r i t u a l o c c a s i o n s . The c h i l d r e n ' s p r i m a r y t i e , h o w e v e r , i s t o t h e i r f a t h e r ' s l i n e a g e . They have no p r o p e r t y t i e s i n t h e i r m o t h e r ' s p a r e n t ' s v i l l a g e , n a n k e . T h u s , a t m a r r i a g e and when a d a u g h t e r h a s c h i l d r e n , she w i l l be t i e d more and more s t r o n g l y t o h e r h u s b a n d ' s l i n e a g e . A f t e r m a r r i a g e she w i l l l i v e i n h e r h u s b a n d ' s v i l l a g e w h i c h i s r e f e r r e d t o a s h e r s a u r i , t h a t i s i n t h e v i l l a g e o f h e r s a u r a ( f a t h e r - i n - l a w ) . Her s o n s w i l l i n h e r i t t h e l a n d ; h e r d a u g h t e r s w i l l have t h e r i g h t o f dowry and c o n t i n u o u s g i f t s , w h i l e she has t h e r i g h t o f m a i n t e n a n c e . ^ These n o t i o n s a r e r e p r o d u c e d i n t h e C a n a d i a n s e t t i n g . As I have m e n t i o n e d above ,some o f t h e k i n s h i p t e r m s a l s o r e f e r t o s p a c e . As w e l l , t h e y s e r v e t o demark t h e s o c i a l b o u n d a r i e s o f a p a r t i c u l a r v i l l a g e . F o r i n s t a n c e c o r r e s p o n d i n g t o t h e k i n s h i p t e r m p i o ( f a t h e r ) , t h e r e i s a bounded l o c a t i o n o r s p a c e c a l l e d p a k e ,where t h e e x p e c t a t i o n i s t h a t a p a r t i c u l a r b e h a v i o r a l comp lex w i l l be evoked by a m a r r i e d woman. S i m i l a r l y a k i n s m a n o f t h e c a t e g o r y r e f e r r e d t o by a m a r r i e d woman a s s a u r a c o r r e s p o n d s t o t h e s p a c e c a l l e d s a u r i w h i c h has a d i f f e r e n t s e t o f e x p e c t a t i o n s r e g a r d i n g b e h a v i o r a t t a c h e d t o i t . I n t h e f i r s t , p a k e , a m a r r i e d woman when she r e t u r n s t o h e r n a t a l v i l l a g e i s i n t h e c a t e g o r y o f a ' d a u g h t e r o f t h e v i l l a g e ' . He re she w i l l be t r e a t e d as a ' s i s t e r ' by t h e men o f h e r own g e n e r a t i o n . She does n o t h a v e t o o b s e r v e a v o i d a n c e r u l e s , s h e c a n u n c o v e r h e r f a c e , j o k e and l a u g h and i n t e r a c t r e l a t i v e l y f r e e l y w i t h t h e o t h e r v i l l a g e r s . - 31 -To r e t u r n t o pake a f t e r m a r r i a g e i s a t i m e o f f r e e d o m and a v a c a t i o n f r o m o n e r o u s h o u s e h o l d c h o r e s . By c o n t r a s t , a t h e r s a u r i she must o b s e r v e r u l e s o f a v o i d a n c e , and keep h e r f a c e c o v e r e d i n t h e p r e s e n c e o f any m a l e . He re , she a t t e n d s t o t h e h o u s e h o l d c h o r e s u n d e r t h e s u p e r v i s i o n o f h e r m o t h e r - i n - l a w , h e r ' h u s b a n d ' s s i s t e r s ,and t h e w i v e s o f h e r h u s b a n d ' s o l d e r b r o t h e r s . Q u i t e o f t e n , p a r t l y i n j e s t and p a r t l y a s a way o f r e p r o d u c i n g t h e s p a t i a l a r r a n g e m e n t s o f I n d i a n v i l l a g e s , a S i k h woman i n Canada w i l l r e f e r t o a house as t h e ' v i l l a g e ' o f n a n k e , dadke o r p a k e . F o r t he women i n Canada t h i s i s a c o n s c i o u s p l a y i n g w i t h t h e r u l e s o f k i n s h i p and l o c a t i o n , t h e y know t h a t t h e y a r e p u n n i n g , t h a t t h e r e i s i n c o m p l e t e -n e s s i n r e p r e s e n t i n g a house i n Canada a s a v i l l a g e i n I n d i a , t h a t i t i s a p a r t i a l a n a l o g y . ( In m a k i n g t h i s c o r r e s p o n d e n c e t h e y a r e a l s o c o m p a r i n g and c r i t i q u i n g t h e i r s i t u a t i o n i n Canada and I n d i a . ) A t t h e same t i m e t h e s e c o n c e p t s a r e h i g h l y c o n g r u e n t w i t h t h e p e r s o n a l u n d e r s t a n d i n g o r t h e e t h o s o f S i k h s . They h e l p t o r e i n f o r c e and r e p r o d u c e t h e P u n j a b i S i k h s o c i a l o r g a n i z a t i o n i n t h e C a n a d i a n s e t t i n g . In s h o r t , t h e f a m i l y and l i n e a g e g r o u p i n g s o f P u n j a b i S i k h s a r e i n e x t r i c a b l y t i e d t o v i l l a g e s t r u c t u r e and s o c i a l a c t i o n . A n o t h e r i d e a w h i c h i s r e p r o d u c e d i n Canada i s t h e way i n w h i c h p e o p l e a r e i d e n t i f i e d . I n N o r t h I n d i a where t h e r e a r e h u n d r e d s o f v i l l a g e s , many a r e o c c u p i e d by p e o p l e b e l o n g i n g t o j u s t one o r two ma in l i n e a g e s . More t h a n by a s u r n a m e , a p e r s o n i s i d e n t i f i e d by h i s o r h e r f i r s t name ,and t h e name o f h i s o r h e r v i l l a g e . T h i s way o f i d e n t i f y i n g someone i s r e t a i n e d i n C a n a d a . F o r examp le t o r e f e r t o someone as " H a r j i t S i n g h , ( v i l l a g e o f ) D a l e k e " , w o u l d be enough t o i d e n t i f y a S i k h - 32 -man l i v i n g i n Canada t o a n o t h e r B . C . S i k h . F u r t h e r m o r e , most B . C . S i k h s who we re b o r n i n I n d i a c o n s c i o u s l y i d e n t i f y t h e m s e l v e s w i t h t h e i r a n c e s t r a l v i l l a g e . O n l y r a r e l y i s t h e p e r s o n r e f e r r e d t o v i s a v i s h i s C a n a d i a n p l a c e o f r e s i d e n c e , and t h e n o n l y i f t h e r e i s d i f f i c u l t y i n e s t a b l i s h i n g h i s o r h e r i d e n t i t y f o r some r e a s o n . I want t o e m p h a s i z e t h a t i t i s a s i f , f o r e a c h p e r s o n t h e b o u n d a r i e s o f t h e I n d i a n v i l l a g e e x t e n d t o Canada and e n c l o s e them i n a named e x t e n s i o n o f an I n d i a n s p a c e . These i d e a s a r e t r a n s p o s e d t o C a n a d a . I n f a c t , t h e y a r e a s i g n i f i c a n t a s p e c t o f S i k h s o c i a l r e l a t i o n s i n " t h e C a n a d i a n s e t t i n g . The w o r l d v i e w and e t h o s o f even s e c o n d g e n e r a t i o n S i k h s c o n s i s t s o f t h i s e x t e n d e d ' m o d e l o f and ' m o d e l f o r ' a s p e c t r e g a r d i n g k i n s h i p , s p a c e and i d e n t i t y , w h i c h i n f l u e n c e s B . C . S i k h l i v e s , t h e i r s o c i a l e x c h a n g e s , t h e i r f a m i l i a l 14 and p r o p e r t y r e l a t i o n s , e t c . The a n c e s t r a l p r o p e r t y and i t s o n g o i n g s t a t u s d e f i n e s who i s a l l i e d w i t h whom. Some o f t h e more marked c o n f r o n t a t i o n s a n d e s t r a n g e m e n t s be tween C a n a d i a n S i k h f a m i l i e s a r e due t o f e e l i n g s o f i n e q u i t y o r u n f a i r n e s s w i t h r e g a r d t o commonly owned l a n d i n I n d i a . These a n t a g o n i s m s a r e u s u a l l y made p u b l i c and o f t e n p e o p l e h e r e w i l l s e e k i n t e r v e n t i o n by s e n i o r v i l l a g e r s l i v i n g i n C a n a d a . T h e s e v i l l a g e r s have an i n t e r e s t i n k e e p i n g t h e v i l l a g e l a n d s f r o m g o i n g t o a n ' o u t s i d e r ' (even a s l e a s e h o l d ) . They know t h e f r i c t i o n . t h i s c a u s e s i n a v i l l a g e , f o r l e a s e d l a n d , i f i t i s n o t c u l t i v a t e d by t h e owner a f t e r t h e s e c o n d y e a r ( i n t h e c a s e o f - a b s e n t e e l a n d o w n e r s ) c a n be a p p r o p r i a t e d by t h e government and 15 g i v e n t o t h e l e s s e e . I was t o l d t h a t f o r t h i s r e a s o n p e o p l e w o u l d r a t h e r l e a s e t o a r e l a t i v e , a l t h o u g h t h a t i n v o l v e s a c a r e f u l c o n s i d e r a t i o n 16 o f w h e t h e r i t s h o u l d be t o a f e l l o w v i l l a g e r o r t o an a f f i n e . - 33 -I n t h e l a s t few p a r a g r a p h s I have i n d i c a t e d how t h e i d e n t i t y o f a p e r s o n i s s t r o n g l y l i n k e d w i t h t h e a n c e s t r a l v i l l a g e i n I n d i a and how t h i s i s r e l a t e d t o t h e f o r m a t i o n o f a l l i a n c e s ( i n t h i s t h e s i s t h r o u g h m a r r i a g e s ) . I n o r d e r t o a v o i d c o n f u s i o n , a n d t o show t h a t t h e above d i s c u s s i o n i s germane t o t h e d i s c u s s i o n o f i d e n t i t y , t h e f o l l o w i n g examp le may h e l p . When two B . C . S i k h women meet f o r t h e f i r s t t i m e t h e y exchange names and g i v e t h e names o f t h e i r a n c e s t r a l v i l l a g e s ( m a r r i e d women may g i v e t h e name o f t h e i r h u s b a n d ' s v i l l a g e ( s a u r i ) f i r s t and t h e n t h a t o f t h e i r f a t h e r ( p a k e ) . T h i s exchange o f i n f o r m a t i o n l e a d s t o an e x p l o r a t i o n o f w h e t h e r o r n o t t h e y have some a f f i n a l o r c o n s a n g u i n e a l r e l a t i v e i n common. P e r h a p s t h e y have a c l o s e r e l a t i v e o r , i f t h e y w i s h t h e y may e s t a b l i s h a c l a s s i f i c a t o r y r e l a t i o n s h i p . I n t h e f u t u r e t h e y w i l l e a c h know who t h e o t h e r i s , b a s e d on t h i s i d e n t i f i c a t i o n p r o c e s s . I f two m a r r i e d B . C . S i k h women who have i d e n t i f i e d t h e m s e l v e s i n t h e above manner a r e i n an a r e a where t h e y a r e i s o l a t e d f r om c o n t a c t w i t h o t h e r I n d i a n f a m i l i e s o r have few k i n s m e n i n C a n a d a , t h e y may have a g r e a t dependency upon e a c h o t h e r and may e s t a b l i s h a f i c t i v e r e l a t i o n s h i p w h i c h w i l l t h e n a l l o w them t o i n t e r a c t as f a m i l y u n i t s . F o r e x a m p l e , t h e y c a n d i s p e n s e w i t h many o f t h e a v o i d a n c e r u l e s c o n c e r n i n g e a c h o t h e r ' s 17 s p o u s e s , i f t h e y a r e ' r e l a t e d ' as s i s t e r s . Many o f t h e s e f i c t i v e r e l a t i o n s h i p s a r e t h e b a s i s o f t h e l e a s i n g o f l a n d i n I n d i a ' t o ' t r u s t w o r t h y ' p e o p l e and a l s o f o r m a r r i a g e a l l i a n c e s i n t h e f u t u r e . The B . C . S i k h ' s way o f e s t a b l i s h i n g i d e n t i f i c a t i o n i s e s p e c i a l l y n o t i c e a b l e i n t h e t e m p l e when t h e d o n a t i o n s l i s t i s r e a d o u t d u r i n g ' t h e 18 phog ( t emp le r e l i g i o u s s e r v i c e ) . The f i r s t name, t h e p a t e r n a l v i l l a g e i n I n d i a , and t h e d o l l a r amount a r e g i v e n , i n t h a t o r d e r . T h u s , p e o p l e a t - 34 -t h e t e m p l e a r e a l w a y s c o g n i z a n t o f t h e p e o p l e who a r e a t t e n d i n g r e g u l a r l y and t h e s t r e n g t h o f t h e i r a f f i l i a t i o n t o t h e communi ty and o f t h e i r r e l i g i o s i t y . When newcomers a r e named and t h e i r a n c e s t r a l v i l l a g e i s r e a d o u t , o t h e r B . C . S i k h s c a n d e c i d e i f t h e i n f o r m a t i o n i s p e r t i n e n t t o t hem, and i f t h e i r k i n s h i p n e t w o r k encompasses t h e v i l l a g e o f t h e newcomer . The s i z e o f t h e d o n a t i o n a p e r s o n g i v e s a t a p a r t i c u l a r p h o g i s u s u a l l y d e t e r m i n e d by t h e i d e n t i t y o f t h e s p o n s o r 19 and a p e r s o n ' s r e l a t i o n s h i p t o h i m . I n t h e f o r e g o i n g d i s c u s s i o n , I have shown how c e r t a i n b r o a d k i n s h i p t e r m s r e l a t e t o and seem t o s p a t i a l l y encompass v i l l a g e s i n I n d i a . F u r t h e r , I have shown t h a t a p e r s o n ' s b e h a v i o r i s m o r a l l y c i r -c u m s c r i b e d by t h e t e rms and t h e s p a c e s t h e y r e l a t e t o . W h i l e my ma in p u r p o s e i s t o d e s c r i b e a S i k h w e d d i n g , I s e e i t as my p u r p o s e t o o , t o i n d u c e r e f l e c t i o n on how t h e s e t e rms may r e l a t e t o t h e b e h a v i o r o f a young c o u p l e a b o u t t o be m a r r i e d and t o how t h e B . C . S i k h s s t r i v e t o r e p r o d u c e t h e i r s o c i a l o r g a n i z a t i o n i n C a n a d a . Towards t h i s end I f e e l j u s t i f i e d i n i n t r o d u c i n g now t h e f a m i l y u n d e r s t u d y (pe rhaps e n i g m a t i c a l l y ) , and i n b r i e f l y d i s c u s s i n g t h e k i n s h i p and s p a t i a l a r r a n g e m e n t s as shown i n F i g u r e I I I . When we l o o k a t F i g u r e I I I , P a r t 1 - I n d i a , h o r i z o n t a l l y f r om A t o B t o C we have a d e p i c t i o n o f t h e v i l l a g e and f a m i l y D a r s h a n i s a p a r t o f , h e r d a d k e , w h i c h i s S e c t i o n B. By way o f e x p l a n a t i o n , a n d b e c a u s e h e r m a t e r n a l g r a n d p a r e n t s and h e r m o t h e r ' s b r o t h e r s and t h e i r w i v e s p l a y a p r o m i n e n t p a r t i n t h e w e d d i n g , I show them as S e c t i o n C , o r n a n k e . S e c t i o n A r e p r e s e n t s t h e v i l l a g e she w i l l m a r r y i n t o . E a c h v i l l a g e i s a t l e a s t 10 m i l e s f r o m t h e o t h e r , and i n t h e c a s e o f v i l l a g e _, 35 -PART I - INDIA D a r s h a n ' s H u s b a n d ' s V i l l a g e A , O. F6l o A 6 H a r j i t S a u r e PART I I - CANADA D a r s h a n ' s F a t h e r ' s V i l l a g e A , O A 1 A r j u n O A D a r s h a n (Ego) D a d k e / P a k e D a r s h a n ' s M o t h e r ' s F a t h e r ' s V i l l a g e A , O G u r d i a l Nanke A p a r t m e n t D a r s h a n and H a r j i t P o s t - m a r r i a g e PHASE I I D a r s h a n ' s F a t h e r ' s House D a r s h a n ' s M o t h e r ' s F a t h e r ' s House D a r s h a n and H a r j i t P o s t - m a r r i a g e PHASE I H a r j i t - P r e - m a r r i a g e F i g u r e I I I - THE RELATIONSHIP OF KINSHIP TERMS TO SPACE - 36 -A , i t i s i n a s e p a r a t e d i s t r i c t as w e l l . Now, i f we l o o k a t P a r t I I - C a n a d a , S e c t i o n s B and C a r e s e p a r a t e h o u s e s i n C a n a d a , a b o u t 1/2 m i l e a p a r t (and A i s i n I n d i a ) . As I have s t a t e d a b o v e , a p e r s o n l i v i n g i n Canada i s s t i l l i d e n t i f i e d i n r e l a t i o n t o v i l l a g e I n d i a . I n P u n j a b i S i k h m a r r i a g e s , i t i s o b l i g a t o r y f o r a g i r l ' s p a r e n t s t o f i n d h e r a mate o f s l i g h t l y h i g h e r s t a t u s t h a n t h e i r own, 21 t h e r e b y g a i n i n g p r e s t i g e . S i n c e t h e P u n j a b i S i k h g o t h a r e n o t a r r a n g e d i n h i e r a r c h i c a l o r d e r , ' h i g h s t a t u s ' i s d e f i n e d l o c a l l y and i n e a c h c a s e o f m a r r i a g e . I n o t h e r w o r d s , t h e r e does n o t seem t o be a s y s t e m p f m a r i t a l a l l i a n c e s b a s e d on f o r m a l l y r a n k e d g o t h . I n s t e a d , c e r t a i n f a m i l i e s have t h e i r own r a n k o r d e r o f p r e f e r r e d g o t h and t h e s e a r e b a s e d on t h e c u r r e n t a t t r i b u t e s ( i . e . economic c i r c u m s t a n c e s ) o f p a r t i c u l a r f a m i l i e s . I t i s p r o b a b l y t h e c a s e t o o , t h a t s i n c e women a r e g e n e r a l l y c o n s i d e r e d i n f e r i o r t o men, t h e i r g o t h w o u l d ' n a t u r a l l y ' be c o n s i d e r e d l o w e r . T h u s , I b e l i e v e t h a t P u n j a b i S i k h s c r e a t e d i s p e r s e d a l l i a n c e s w i t h e a c h m a r r i a g e ( w i t h some r e p e a t a l l i a n c e s , b u t t h e y a r e i n - : 22 f r e q u e n t ) , b e i n g c a r e f u l n o t t o b r e a k t h e gotfca exogamy r u l e s . W i t h t h i s g e n e r a l i n f o r m a t i o n i n m i n d , I r e t u r n t o o u r examp le d e s c r i b e d i n F i g u r e I I I . When H a r j i t a r r i v e d i n C a n a d a , he was g i v e n a room w i t h D a r s h a n ' s m a t e r n a l g r a n d p a r e n t s ( S e c t i o n C , P a r t I I ) , t h a t i s a t h e r n a n k e . I f t h i s were I n d i a , s i n c e h i s i s t h e more p r e s t i g i o u s f a m i l y , he w o u l d n o t f i n d h i m s e l f i n t h e p o s i t i o n o f a c c e p t i n g f o o d and • s h e l t e r f r o m t h e r e l a t i v e s o f h i s f u t u r e w i f e . I t h i n k he p r o b a b l y f e e l s q u i t e s t r a n g e i n t h e s e c i r c u m s t a n c e s . (On t h e o t h e r hand he may n o t - s i n c e t h e w h o l e s i t u a t i o n o f a r r i v i n g i n Canada i s a new e x p e r i e n c e . ) - 37 -Whateve r he f e e l s , he i s b e i n g c a r e d f o r by h i s f i n a n c e e ' s f a m i l y . M o r e o v e r , he w i l l have t o make f u r t h e r m o d i f i c a t i o n t o N o r t h I n d i a n ( P u n j a b i S i k h ) b e l i e f s and v a l u e s once he i s m a r r i e d . A t t h a t t i m e , f o r a p e r i o d , he w i l l r e s i d e w i t h h i s w i f e ' s p a r e n t s . A s o n - i n - l a w who c o n s e n t s t o l i v e i n t h e home o f h i s f a t h e r - i n - l a w i s c a l l e d a g h a r - j a w a i , a t e r m w h i c h c o n n o t e s l ow s t a t u s and l o w p r e s t i g e f o r b o t h l i n e a g e s . T h i s means t h a t he i s t a k i n g economic h e l p f r om h i s i n - l a w s ( i n t h i s c a s e , f o r a few w e e k s , he i s ) and t h e y may be u s i n g h i s l a b o u r ( i n t h i s c a s e t r u e t o a l i m i t e d e x t e n t ) . . I n a l l o f t h i s t h e y a r e g o i n g a g a i n s t t h e e x p e c t a t i o n t h a t t h e g r o o m ' s s t a t u s s h o u l d be s u p e r i o r t o t h a t o f h i s b r i d e - t o - b e . T h i s i n f o r m a t i o n i s i m p o r t a n t f o r a number o f r e a s o n s . F i r s t l y , b e c a u s e i t r e l a t e s t o s o c i a l change by s h o w i n g t h e b a s i c s h i f t s i n 23 c u l t u r a l b e l i e f s and v a l u e s t h a t a r e made by i m m i g r a n t s f r o m P u n j a b . S e c o n d l y , w i t h o u t t h i s i n f o r m a t i o n , w h i c h I c o n s i d e r e s s e n t i a l f o r t h e u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f C a n a d i a n P u n j a b i S i k h c u l t u r e , t h e r e a d e r w i l l n o t be i n a p o s i t i o n t o f u l l y u n d e r s t a n d t h e s p a t i a l a s p e c t s as t h e y r e l a t e t o k i n s h i p and e x c h a n g e . Now, b e f o r e i n t r o d u c i n g t h e c a s e s t u d i e s o f t h e mungnas ( b e t r o t h a l s ) , I w o u l d l i k e t o s t a t e a g a i n t h a t t h e young woman whose b e t r o -t h a l and m a r r i a g e I am d e s c r i b i n g i n t h i s t h e s i s i s my ' n i e c e ' ( F e B y S e D ) . She was n i n e t e e n a t t h e t i m e h e r m a r r i a g e was a r r a n g e d . A t t h a t t i m e h e r m o t h e r , G u r d i a l , had r e c e i v e d a l e t t e r f r om a woman f r i e n d o f h e r m o t h e r ' s i n I n d i a , who s a i d she wan ted t o s u g g e s t a c e r t a i n boy as a l i k e l y m a r r i a g e p a r t n e r f o r my n i e c e . S h o r t l y a f t e r t h a t and f o r a number o f r e a s o n s , G u r d i a l went t o I n d i a . One r e a s o n was t o s e e f o r - 38 -h e r s e l f t h e f a m i l i e s o f a number o f l i k e l y m a r r i a g e p r o s p e c t s . She d e c i d e d on H a r j i t . The c h o i c e was b a s e d on a number o f f a c t o r s : he was f r om an a c c e p t a b l e g o t h (exogamous p a t r i - c l a n ) , t h a t i s he was n o t r e l a t e d t o any o f t h e f o u r g o t h t h a t a r e p r o h i b i t e d t o D a r s h a n ' s l i n e a g e by t h e m a r r i a g e r u l e s . C o n s i d e r a b l e a t t e n t i o n was g i v e n t o h i s a p p e a r a n c e and demeanor ; h i s e d u c a t i o n and h i s p r o b a b l e f u t u r e p r o s p e c t s i n t h e C a n a d i a n s e t t i n g ; and t o h i s p e r s o n a l i t y . As I s t a t e a b o v e , t h e P u n j a b i S i k h s a r e e x p e c t e d t o m a r r y t h e i r d a u g h t e r s i n t o f a m i l i e s w h i c h have o r a p p e a r t o have a h i g h e r s t a t u s t h a n t h e i r own t h e r e b y g a i n i n g p r e s t i g e f o r t h e m s e l v e s . H a r j i t ' s f a m i l y , t h e i r r e l a t i v e s t a t u s , t h e i r moveab le and immoveab le p r o p e r t y , a n d t h e i r s i k i r i a ( a l l i a n c e s ) i n o t h e r v i l l a g e s , a s s u r e d t h a t t h i s was a p r e s t i g i o u s a l l i a n c e . The b e t r o t h a l was a r r a n g e d , and t h e s e r i e s o f e v e n t s t h a t f o l l o w e d a r e d e s c r i b e d i n t h e s e p a g e s . I l l D a r s h a n 1 s mungna was a l m o s t t h r e e y e a r s ago so I do n o t have f i r s t hand i n f o r m a t i o n a b o u t i t . Howeve r , I have b e e n t o l d o f two r e c e n t mungnas and have been shown some mov ie f i l m s o f them. One i s t h a t o f my s e c o n d ' n i e c e ' S u r j i t ( D a r s h a n ' s y o u n g e r s i s t e r ) , and t h e o t h e r , t h a t o f t h e i r mama (MB) . G u r d i a l , h e r p a r e n t s , two o f h e r b r o t h e r s , and h e r son a l l wen t t o I n d i a i n December , 1 9 8 0 . T h e i r ma in r e a s o n f o r t h i s t r i p was t h e w e d d i n g o f G u r d i a l ' s b r o t h e r . A t t h e same t i m e t h e y began t h e i r s e a r c h f o r an e l i g i b l e man f o r my s e c o n d n i e c e , S u r j i t , by p l a c i n g an ad i n a n e w s p a p e r . - 39 -They r e c e i v e d more t h a n one h u n d r e d r e p l i e s . The most l i k e l y p r o s p e c t , h o w e v e r , seemed t o be a P h D . s t u d e n t b r o u g h t t o t h e i r a t t e n t i o n by G u r d i a l ' s f e m a l e c o u s i n (FZD) . I a s k e d G u r d i a l : How d i d you f i n d h im? She r e p l i e d : T h r o u g h my s a h a l i ( g i r l f r i e n d ) i n my d a d k e , who h a s r e l a t i v e s i n C a l c u t t a . He i s f r o m a v i l l a g e - i n f a c t t h e o l d woman ( h i s g randmo the r ) s t i l l l i v e s t h e r e , b u t t h e f a m i l y have l i v e d now f o r a few d e c a d e s i n C a l c u t t a . They have a r e s t a u r a n t b u s i n e s s t h e r e . When y o u go t o I n d i a a g a i n y o u w i l l be a b l e t o s e e them. G u r d i a l and h e r f a m i l y a s k e d f r i e n d s t o c h e c k h i s b a c k g r o u n d , h i s v i l l a g e , h i s f a m i l y ' s s t a t u s , t h e i r s i k i r i a , and h i s a c a d e m i c b a c k g r o u n d . He was a l s o ' s e e n ' by f r i e n d s and r e l a t i v e s a t h i s u n i v e r s i t y . F i n a l l y , h i s f a m i l y was a p p r o a c h e d , and when t h e f i n a l n e g o t i a t i o n s were c o m p l e t e d , t h e r u p e e was g i v e n and a c c e p t e d . When t h e n e g o t i a t i o n s were b e i n g c o n d u c t e d , t h e young man and h i s f a m i l y were t o l d t h a t he had t o be w i l l i n g t o ' s e t t l e ' i n C a n a d a . My f a m i l y was adamant t h a t he be w i l l i n g t o i m m i g r a t e and t h a t t h e i r d a u g h t e r w o u l d n o t be g o i n g t o I n d i a t o l i v e . I was t o l d t h a t some f a m i l i e s i n I n d i a a r e n o t w i l l i n g t o s e n d t h e i r e d u c a t e d c h i l d r e n t o f o r e i g n c o u n t r i e s t o l i v e , so t h i s h a d t o be c a r e f u l l y u n d e r s t o o d . The f i l m f o r t h i s l a s t mungna shows a r e n t e d v a n b e i n g l o a d e d w i t h f r u i t s and o t h e r f o o d s and t h e c l o t h i n g and o t h e r g i f t s t o t h e b o y ' s f a m i l y . I t was d u r i n g t h e s h o w i n g o f t h e f i l m t h a t I was t o l d t h a t t h i s was n o t r e a l l y a mungna b u t a r o k . S u r p r i s e d , I a s k e d what a r o k means . - 40 -A number o f p e o p l e w i l l i n g l y gave me e x p l a n a t i o n s . F i r s t , a young man t o l d me " I t s l i k e g o i n g t o buy a cow and s a y i n g t o t h e s e l l e r ' h e r e i s some money - I ' l l be back f o r t h e cow and w i l l pay t h e r e s t a t t h a t t i m e ' . " A l t h o u g h we l a u g h e d a t h i s e x a m p l e , I f e e l t h a t a word o f e x p l a n a t i o n i s n e e d e d . I n I n d i a , ( i n c o n t r a s t t o Canada) t h e cow i s a h i g h l y r e v e r e d a n i m a l and i n f a c t i s w o r s h i p p e d i n some p l a c e s . S o , we need t o remember t h a t f i r s t , t h e groom was n o t b e i n g l i k e n e d t o t h e a n i m a l b u t t h e s i t u a t i o n was e x p l a i n e d by r e f e r e n c e t o i t . S e c o n d , even i f he w e r e , i t w o u l d n o t have t h e same mean ing as we w o u l d g i v e i t i n Canada where t h e cow has a d i f f e r e n t s e t o f mean ings a t t a c h e d t o i t . The n e x t examp le was p r o v i d e d by my c o u s i n / b r o t h e r ( F e B y S ) , he s a i d : " I t ' s l i k e g o i n g t o a s t o r e and p a y i n g so much down, l i k e a l a y - a w a y . " I a s k e d i f i t was l i k e a c o n t r a c t and t h a t a p p e a l e d t o e v e r y o n e , b u t I f e e l t h e b e s t m e a n i n g i s i n t h e word i t s e l f - ' t o s t a n d i n t h e way o f a young man so t h a t he c a n n o t n e g o t i a t e a m a r r i a g e w i t h any o t h e r f a m i l y . I n t h e f i l m he was shown s e a t e d o u t - o f - d o o r s , i n a s t r a i g h t -b a c k e d c h a i r . He had a t o w e l d r a p e d down h i s r i g h t s h o u l d e r and he was h o l d i n g t h e l o w e r edge cupped i n t o h i s r i g h t h a n d . T h e r e were many p e o p l e s t a n d i n g a r o u n d h i m . On a t a b l e n e x t t o h im were d i s p l a y e d t h e g i f t s o f c l o t h i n g f r o m o u r l i n e a g e , on a n o t h e r t a b l e t o h i s l e f t was a t a b l e - 41 -w i t h a r e d c l o t h p a c k a g e w h i c h c o n t a i n e d p a t a s e . G u r d i a l r e a c h e d i n t o t h e p a c k a g e a n d t o o k o u t one p a t a s a w h i c h she p u t i n t o t h e b o y ' s m o u t h , t h e n she c i r c l e d h i s h e a d w i t h some money w h i c h was t h e n p u t i n t o t h e t o w e l cupped i n h i s r i g h t h a n d . I was t o l d t h a t t h e r e d c l o t h p a c k a g e w i t h t h e p a t a s e a l s o had 1 0 , 0 0 0 r u p e e s i n i t , w h i c h I t h i n k i s meant t o be t he way t o r o k h i m . T h a t i s , a c c e p t a n c e o f t h e money e n t a i l s an o b l i g a t i o n . I n a n o t h e r f i l m s e q u e n c e , M a s i - j i , S u r j i t ' s m a t e r n a l g r a n d m o t h e r , was shown w i t h a t h a i ( m e t a l t r a y - l i k e 25 d i s h ) on w h i c h a . r e d c l o t h had been s p r e a d . On i t , t he i t e m s o f g o l d t h a t were b e i n g g i v e n t o t h e n e w l y b e t r o t h e d man (a w a t c h , a r i n g , e t c . ) , were b e i n g d i s p l a y e d t o t h e g a t h e r i n g . I n s t i l l a n o t h e r s e q u e n c e , S u r j i t ' s m o t h e r ' s b r o t h e r i s shown i n a hug w i t h t h e b o y ' s f a t h e r - I was t o l d t h a t t h i s i s t h e m i l n i (meet ing) p o r t i o n o f a b e t r o t h a l . I n n o r t h I n d i a , t h e m o t h e r ' s b r o t h e r i s a v e r y p r o m i n e n t p e r s o n i n t h e s e r i t e s (and l a t e r i n t h e s h a d i ) . The sequence a l s o showed S u r j i t ' s m a t e r n a l g r a n d f a t h e r and t h e b o y ' s f a t h e r i n an embrace . I n t h e f i l m t h e l a g i (a s e r v a n t ) , w h o i s t h e son o f t h e n a i 2 6 ( b a r b e r ) ,was p o i n t e d o u t t o me as one o f t h e p e o p l e who made up t h e mungna p a r t y . U s u a l l y t h e n a i goes t o a r r a n g e t h e g i v i n g o f t h e r u p e e , and t r a d i t i o n a l l y he a r r a n g e d t h e mungna by d o i n g t h e n e g o t i a t i n g f o r t h e woman's s i d e . I n t h i s r o l e , h i s c a s t e name was r e p l a c e d t e m p o r a r i l y , and he was r e f e r r e d t o a s ' r a j a ' ( k i n g o r p r i n c e ) . G u r d i a l t o l d me t h a t i n t h e p a s t t h e r e was s o much t r u s t i n t h i s p e r s o n t h a t a f a m i l y r a r e l y i f e v e r went a g a i n s t t h e a r r a n g e m e n t s s u g g e s t e d and made by t h e h o u s e h o l d l a g i . She a l w a y s t a l k s a b o u t t h e l a g i w i t h a f f e c t i o n and r e s p e c t . - 42 -D u r i n g t h e mungna r i t e s , t h e m a n ' s s i d e i s n o t o b l i g e d t o g i v e g i f t s i n r e t u r n , b u t t h e y u s u a l l y do s e n d a g i f t t o t h e woman b e i n g b e t r o t h e d and p e r h a p s t o h e r b r o t h e r s ( bo th e l d e r and y o u n g e r ) , 27 and t o h e r y o u n g e r s i s t e r s . I n t h e mungna u n d e r d i s c u s s i o n , t h a t o f S u r j i t , t h e m a n ' s s i d e s e n t a g o l d s u n g a l i ( c h a i n ) and some ' s u i t s ' t o my n i e c e , as w e l l as some o t h e r g i f t s w h i c h w i l l be g i v e n t o h e r a t h e r s a g a n ( r i t e ) . I n t h i s t h e s i s , I am d i s c u s s i n g how a woman's s i d e goes a b o u t t h e s e a r r a n g e m e n t s . I f a m a n ' s s i d e has a p r e f e r e n c e f o r a p a r t i c u l a r woman as a b e t r o t h a l p a r t n e r , members f r o m h i s s i d e w o u l d l e t t h e woman's s i d e know. I t w o u l d s t i l l be up t o t h e woman's f a m i l y t o a p p r o a c h and n e g o t i a t e w i t h t h e b o y ' s s i d e , and t h e n t o c o m p l e t e t h e t r a n s a c t i o n s as d e s c r i b e d a b o v e . Amongst t h e S i k h J a t s , t h e woman's s i d e a l w a y s r e -p r e s e n t s i t s e l f and i s t r e a t e d a s i n f e r i o r t o t h a t o f t h e m a n ' s s i d e . As s t a t e d a b o v e , t h i s i n f e r i o r i t y i s e x p r e s s e d i n many ways t h r o u g h o u t t h e c o u p l e ' s l i f e . T h i s o b l i g a t o r y i n e q u a l i t y i s v e r y a p p a r e n t i n t h e a s y m e t r i c a l f l o w o f g i f t s f rom t h e woman's s i d e t o t h e m a n ' s . When G u r d i a l ' s b r o t h e r ' s b e t r o t h a l r i t e was b e i n g c o n d u c t e d i n I n d i a , h i s f a m i l y was g i v e n f i v e g o l d p i e c e s w h i c h l o o k l i k e g o l d c o i n s . They a r e c a l l e d mor . Some o f t h e w e a l t h y f a m i l i e s g i v e t h e mor ( i n s t e a d o f t h e r u p e e ) , w h i c h seem t o g i v e some a d d i t i o n a l mean ing w i t h r e g a r d t o t h e w e d d i n g e x p e n s e t h a t w i l l be u n d e r t a k e n by t h e woman's s i d e . The b o y ' s f a t h e r t o l d me: Two mor u s u a l l y mean t h e b r i d e ' s p a r e n t s w i l l go t o a v e r a g e e x p e n s e f o r t h e w e d d i n g , t h e m e a l s and c o s t s . When t h e y gave us f i v e we knew i t w o u l d be a v e r y l a r g e l a v i s h w e d d i n g ! - 43 -By t h e p h o t o g r a p h s shown t o us a f t e r t h a t w e d d i n g , we c o u l d s e e t h a t i t was i n d e e d a v e r y l a r g e e l a b o r a t e w e d d i n g . I t was f i n a n c e d by t h e woman's s i d e b u t t h e r e was a l s o e x t e n s i v e e x p e n d i t u r e by t he g r o o m ' s f a m i l y , a t t h e i r own c h o i c e . F o r i n s t a n c e , t u x e d o s were r e n t e d i n Canada and f l o w n t o I n d i a f o r t h e p a r t i c i p a t i n g m a l e s . A s w e l l , t h e w e d d i n g p a r t i e s u s e d more c a r s , e t c . T h e r e was use o f s o p h i s t i c a t e d equ ipmen t w h i c h was p u r c h a s e d b e f o r e h a n d i n Canada by t h e m a n ' s s i d e ( f o r r e c o r d i n g and f i l m i n g t h a t w e d d i n g ) , and e l a b o r a t e p r o f e s s i o n a l p h o t o g r a p h s o f t h e b r i d e and groom were p a i d f o r by t h e m a n ' s f a m i l y . They were m a r r i e d i n M a r c h and came t o Canada i n A p r i l , b r i n g i n g D a r s h a n ' s p r o s p e c t i v e groom w i t h them. When t h e f a m i l i e s came b a c k f r o m I n d i a , t h e r e was a f a m i l y d i n n e r a t t h e home o f D a r s h a n ' s m a t e r n a l g r a n d p a r e n t s . I t was a t t e n d e d by D a r s h a n ' s p a r e n t s , h e r s i s t e r and b r o t h e r , h e r m a t e r n a l g r a n d p a r e n t s , t h e i r t h r e e m a r r i e d s o n s and t h e i r w i v e s and c h i l d r e n , and one u n m a r r i e d s o n . I was a l s o i n v i t e d . B e f o r e t h e d i n n e r a few c l o s e f r i e n d s and r e l a t i v e s came and w e n t . The p u r p o s e o f t h e s e v i s i t s was t o welcome t h e f a m i l y b a c k , t o ' v i e w ' t h e new b r i d e (DMBW), and t o meet H a r j i t , D a r s h a n ' s p r o s p e c t i v e g room. The phone a l s o r a n g e v e r y few m i n u t e s , as p e o p l e c a l l e d t o w e l c o m e , and t o a s k a b o u t t h e h e a l t h o f t h e g r o u p r e t u r n i n g f r o m I n d i a . I had t e l e p h o n e d e a r l y i n t h e day t o s a y t h a t I w o u l d be t h e r e a t a b o u t 4 : 3 0 p .m . My f i e l d n o t e s f o r A p r i l 12, 1981, r e a d : - 44 -I a r r i v e d a t t h e f a r m h o u s e a n d G u r d i a l l o o k s o u t - a s I g e t t o t h e d o o r i t i s o p e n e d a n d t h e y g r e e t me w i t h l o t s o f c h a t t e r a n d h u g s a n d t a k e my c o a t . T h e n , t h e n e w b r i d e i s l e d o u t o f t h e b e d r o o m a t o n e s i d e o f t h e k i t c h e n , w h e r e s h e i s i n s e c l u s i o n a n d i n t h e c o m p a n y o f h e r y o u n g u n m a r r i e d s i s t e r - i n - l a w . My ' n i e c e s ' t o o , c o m e a n d g o f r o m t h a t r o o m . T h e n e w b r i d e i s d r e s s e d i n a r e d s a r i w i t h g o l d f l o r a l p a t t e r n i n g o n ' i t . T h e p a l a ( d e c o r a t i v e e n d p a n e l ) i s p u l l e d o v e r h e r h e a d , a n d l o w o v e r h e r f a c e . F i r s t , M a s i - j i ( t h e b r i d e ' s m o t h e r - i n - l a w , s u s ) s h o w s me t h e b r i d e ' s f a c e a n d t h e n , w h i l e t h e b r i d e s t a n d s , h e a d l o w e r e d , h e r a r m i t a k e n o u t o f h e r s a r i f o l d s a n d h e r g o l d b r a c e l e t s a r e s h o w n t o me. L a t e r , h e r e a r r i n g s a n d n e c k l a c e a r e a l s o b r o u g h t t o my a t t e n t i o n . S h e i s v e r y l o v e l y , a n d I s a y s o - s h e s m i l e s v e r y s l i g h t l y , t h e n r e t u r n s t o t h e b e d r o o m . T h e n I g o i n t o t h e f r o n t r o o m w i t h M a s i - j i a n d G u r d i a l . T h i s i s w h e r e t h e m e n a r e s i t t i n g . A f e w o f t h e y o u n g o n e s r i s e w h e n I e n t e r - o n e o f t h e m i s D a r s h a n ' s p r o s p e c t i v e g r o o m D a r s h a n ' s f a t h e r t a k e s me o v e r t o h i m , e x p l a i n i n g t h a t I am h i s ' p o o a h - j i ' ( A u n t ) . We g r e e t e a c h o t h e r w i t h j o i n e d h a n d s a n d t h e n e v e r y o n e l a u g h s e x p e c t a n t l y - I am t o l d b y M a s i - j i t h a t h e s h o u l d t o u c h my f e e t w i t h h i s h a n d s i n r e s p e c t - I i n s i s t t h a t h e i s n o t t o d o s o a n d h e v e r y e m b a r r a s s e d c o m p l i e w i t h my r e q u e s t . I g i v e h i m t h e e n v e l o p e w i t h t h e c a r d a n d a g i f t o f m o n e y w h i c h i s t o w e l c o m e h i m . T h e n I am t o l d t h a t f o r t h e f o r m a l p i c t u r e I n e e d t o s t a n d w i t h h i m , w i t h my h a n d - 45 -on h i s s h o u l d e r . A f t e r t h e p i c t u r e s a r e t a k e n , I r e t u r n t o t h e k i t c h e n where t h e women a r e p r e p a r i n g t h e f o o d s f o r d i n n e r . A t t h i s j u n c t u r e , I a s k t h e r e a d e r t o remember t h e d i s c u s s i o n a b o v e , a b o u t t h e s p a t i a l a s p e c t s o f k i n s h i p and t o r e f e r t o F i g u r e I I I , i f need b e , as I r e l a t e t h e f o l l o w i n g i n c i d e n t f r o m my f i e l d n o t e s o f A p r i l 1 2 , 1 9 8 1 : D u r i n g t h e d i n n e r t o n i g h t , many o f t h e t r a d i t i o n a l ways have been o v e r l o o k e d somewhat b e c a u s e i t i s i n c o n v e n i e n t t o do o t h e r w i s e . The f a m i l i e s make a number o f changes t o t h e P u n j a b i S i k h t r a d i t i o n s . F o r i n s t a n c e , i n I n d i a , the groom w o u l d n o t be i n t h e same house as t h e b r i d e - t o - b e p r i o r t o t h e m a r r i a g e . Howeve r , i n Canada he i s t e m p o r a r i l y s t a y i n g a t D a r s h a n 1 s nanke ( m a t e r n a l g r a n d p a r e n t s h o u s e ) , and i t i s h e r e t h a t t h e d i n n e r i s b e i n g h e l d . A t t h e same t i m e , i t w o u l d be u n t h i n k a b l e f o r t h e f a m i l y t o l e a v e h e r a l o n e i n a remote f a rmhouse a s t h e f a m i l y d i n e a t h e r g r a n d p a r e n t s , s o she i s a t t h e d i n n e r , and t h u s , i n t h e same house as h e r p r o s p e c t i v e g room. (She i s i n f a c t ' i n s e c l u s i o n ' w i t h t h e new b r i d e , h e r mami (MBW), i n t h e bedroom j u s t o f f t h e k i t c h e n , o r i n t h e k i t c h e n w i t h t h e women. The men, s i t t i n g i n t h e l i v i n g r o o m , know t h a t t h i s a r e a i s ' o u t - o f - b o u n d s ' t o d a y . ) The women o f t h e h o u s e h o l d a r e t a k i n g some c a r e t h a t H a r j i t d o e s n o t s e e D a r s h a n , b u t t h e y a r e m a i n l y q u i t e u n c o n c e r n e d - 46 -a b o u t t h e n o t i o n s o f n a n k e , dadke o r t h e g r o o m ' s v i l l a g e , a n d go a b o u t t h e i r d u t i e s as u s u a l . U n t i l , s u d d e n l y , t h e r e i s a phone c a l l . I t i s one o f G u r d i a l ' s women f r i e n d s w e l c o m i n g t h e t r a v e l l e r s b a c k . They c o n v e r s e f o r a m i n u t e - I t h i n k t h e woman a s k s a b o u t t h e w h e r e a b o u t s o f D a r s h a n . G u r d i a l answers ' a t h o m e ' . F rom G u r d i a l ' s c o n v e r s a t i o n i t a p p e a r s t h a t t h e woman has f i r s t c a l l e d t h e r e and she now c o u n t e r s w i t h t h e f a c t t h a t some man had answe red and t h a t i n t h e b a c k g r o u n d she c o u l d h e a r a good d e a l o f n o i s e and l a u g h t e r . By way o f e x p l a n a t i o n , t h e men h a d a l l gone t o D a r s h a n ' s f a m i l y home r i g h t a f t e r d i n n e r , t a k i n g H a r j i t w i t h t hem. G u r d i a l had b e e n t o l d t h i s i n an e a r l i e r phone c a l l and had a n g r i l y t o l d A r j u n t h a t i f t h e y were t h e r e t h e n he s h o u l d have c o n d u c t e d t h e s a g a n ( t h i s was a r e f e r e n c e t o t h e s p e c i a l r i t e a m o t h e r - i n - l a w c o n d u c t s b e f o r e a s o n - i n - l a w e n t e r s t h e home o f h i s w i f e , f o r t h e f i r s t t i m e ) . A r j u n s h o u l d n o t have t a k e n H a r j i t t o h i s home. My f i e l d n o t e s c o n t i n u e : I t h e n h e a r an a g i t a t e d G u r d i a l s a y ' t h a t may b e , we a r e a l l h e r e a t nanke ' , and she d i d n ' t know where t h e p r o n a (groom) was b u t t h a t she was s u r e t h e y o u n g e r men had t a k e n h i m o u t - he was lonesome f o r h i s c o l l e g e f r i e n d s . She c o n t i n u e d t h a t t h e r e may be someone a t home w i t h D a r s h a n ' s f a t h e r -she d i d n ' t know. - 47 -T h i s s h o r t e x c e r p t shows a number o f ways i n w h i c h t h e t r a d i t i o n a l r u l e s have been b r e a c h e d . F i r s t , t h e groom w o u l d n o t be l i v i n g w i t h t h e m a t e r n a l g r a n d p a r e n t s o f h i s p r o s p e c t i v e b r i d e . S e c o n d , t h e b e t r o t h e d c o u p l e w o u l d n o t o r d i n a r i l y be a t t e n d i n g t h e same d i n n e r . T h i r d , t h e f a t h e r o f t h e b r i d e - t o - b e s h o u l d n o t be i n e x t e n d e d o r c l o s e c o n t a c t w i t h h i s f u t u r e - s o n - i n - l a w . F i n a l l y , t h e groom s h o u l d n o t have e n t e r e d t h e home o f h i s f u t u r e w i f e w i t h o u t t h e a p p r o p r i a t e r i t e s . The c o n v e r s a t i o n r e p o r t e d above shows how t r a d i t i o n a l ways a r e b r e a c h e d i n t h e C a n a d i a n s e t t i n g , b u t i t i s n e i t h e r e a s y n o r c o m f o r t a b l e f o r mos t p e o p l e t o make t h e s e a d a p t a t i o n s . W h i l e e v e r y B . C . S i k h f a m i l y does make t h e a d a p t i v e c o n c e s s i o n s , o t h e r s a r e t h e r e t o i n d u c e j u s t enough g u i l t t h a t t h e changes a r e f e w , a n d t h e o l d p a t t e r n s a r e r e p r o d u c e d and c l u n g t o i f a t a l l p o s s i b l e . A f t e r t h e d i n n e r , we were shown t h e p h o t o g r a p h s o f t h e (MB 's ) w e d d i n g and t h e p h o t o g r a p h s o f t h e man t o whom S u r j i t i s now e n g a g e d , a s w e l l as t h o s e o f t h e man t o whom h e r y o u n g e s t m a s i (MZ) i s e n g a g e d . We l o o k e d , and made t h e a p p r o p r i a t e comments on t h e good l o o k s o f t h e young men. I was g i v e n a p i c t u r e o f a s o c c e r team and S u r j i t ' s m a s i ' s (MZ) f i a n c e was p o i n t e d o u t t o me. The names o f t h e team members were w r i t t e n i n E n g l i s h a t t h e b o t t o m . G u r d i a l s a i d " h e r e , r e a d i t " , I d i d , much t o e v e r y o n e ' s p l e a s u r e . I had a s k e d D a r s h a n how S u r j i t f e e l s abou t h e r b e t r o t h a l , she s a i d : - 48 -I t ' s v e r y h a r d , A u n t i e , a t f i r s t , y o u wonder what he w i l l be l i k e and i f y o u ' l l l i k e h i m - and i f y o u ' l l g e t a l o n g . When my g i r l f r i e n d s a t s c h o o l a s k e d me a b o u t i t - I j u s t t o l d them we were u s e d t o t h e i d e a , o u r p a r e n t s r a i s e d us t h a t way. S u r j i t w i l l g e t u s e d t o i t i n a l i t t l e w h i l e . When we were shown t h e p h o t o g r a p h s , t h e r e were s e v e r a l i n s t a n c e s o f women w h i s p e r i n g , " T h a t i s S u r j i t ' s s a u r a ( f a t h e r - i n - l a w ) " o r " T h a t i s S u r g i t ' s s u s ( m o t h e r - i n - l a w ) " . T h r o u g h a l l t h i s , S u r j i t seems v e r y p e n s i v e and more q u i e t t h a n u s u a l . Her mo the r has a l r e a d y t o l d me p r i v a t e l y t h a t S u r j i t i s n o t v e r y happy a b o u t h e r m a r r i a g e b e i n g a r r a n g e d so s o o n . A f t e r we h a d f i n i s h e d l o o k i n g a t t h e p h o t o g r a p h s , we went i n t o t h e f r o n t room r e c e n t l y v a c a t e d by t h e men. M a s i - j i p l a y e d t h e t a p e s o f t h e women 's songs f rom t h e w e d d i n g i n I n d i a . They p r o v i d e d g r e a t e n j o y -ment f o r us - as we l i s t e n e d t o t h e d i f f e r e n t k inswomen i n I n d i a s i n g i n g -t h e s o n g s . I n my f i e l d n o t e s o f A p r i l 1 2 , 1 9 8 1 , I have r e c o r d e d : W h i l e we l i s t e n e d t o t h e t a p e d songs f r om t h e w e d d i n g i n I n d i a , t h e r e was a l o t o f l a u g h t e r and c o n v e r s a t i o n as G u r d i a l , h e r mo the r and t h e new b r i d e t o l d us a b o u t t h e songs and d a n c e s . (The new b r i d e has now changed h e r c l o t h e s and i s w e a r i n g a s a l v a r and c h e m i s e and s w e a t e r . She i s n o t q u i t e s o r e t i c e n t now, i t i s l a t e and o n l y t h e women members o f t h e f a m i l i e s a r e p r e s e n t ; t h e men h a d l e f t t h e house a f t e r d i n n e r . ) - 49 -As t h e s o n g s a r e p l a y e d , M a s i - j i shows us t h e m o t i o n s t h e s i n g e r s and d a n c e r s i n I n d i a made as t h e y s a n g t h o s e bawdy s o n g s . We r e a d i l y i d e n t i f i e d t h e f u n n i e s t ( t hose t h a t made l i g h t o f k i n s h i p r e l a t i o n s h i p s ( a f f i n a l o n e s ) . Then we h e a r d t h e new b r i d e s i n g i n g a song - a t h e r own w e d d i n g ! I a s k e d a b o u t t h i s , and was t o l d t h a t i t i s a l l o w e d now, o c c a s i o n a l l y , b e c a u s e s o many o f t h e young women a r e e d u c a t e d . T h i s i s , I t h i n k , c o n s i d e r e d q u i t e a p -p r o p r i a t e b e h a v i o r f o r t h e d a u g h t e r o f a r i c h ' m o d e r n ' f a m i l y . The s o n g s t a r t s o f f "I have s e e n t h e moon (chand) t o d a y . . . " We c a n n o t h e l p b u t l a u g h a t h e r a u d a c i t y , and she h i d e s h e r f a c e l a u g h i n g t o o . (The chand o r moon i s o f c o u r s e r e f e r e n c e t o t h e groom - t h e word i s a r i c h me tapho r f o r l o v e i n I n d i a n c u l t u r e ) . She s i n g s a n o t h e r l i n e and t h e n t h e r e f r a i n i s t a k e n up by t h e c l a p p i n g , d a n c i n g , women i n I n d i a . I c a n n o t h e l p b u t n o t i c e t h a t t h i s young woman was s i n g i n g t h e song i n I n d i a , on t h e eve o f h e r w e d d i n g . By t h e o l d e r t r a d i t i o n s she w o u l d c e r t a i n l y n o t have been s i n g i n g , and n o t a b o u t h e r h u s b a n d - t o - b e , i n t e rms o f l o v e . I a s k e d : who d a n c e s ? M a s i - j i s a i d : A l l t h e women d o , i n t h e b a r r d a ( c o u r t y a r d ) . I a s k e d : How many women were t h e r e ? She r e p l i e d : a b o u t 2 0 0 ! I a s k e d : E a r l i e r y o u s a i d t h e c h u r i a ( l o w e r c a s t e women o f t h e sweeper c a s t e ) come and t h e y d a n c e . A r e t h e y i n v i t e d o r do t h e y j u s t come? - 50 -She s a i d : Some come and o t h e r s a r e i n v i t e d . G u r d i a l s a i d : We gave them 20 r u p e e s f o r c o m i n g ! S u r j i t : A u n t i e - j i , t h e y dance more and b e t t e r . ( I t h i n k t h i s means t h e y a r e more e x p r e s s i v e and a c t o u t t h e r i s q u e p a r t s w i t h g r e a t e r a b a n d o n . ) M a s i - j i t o l d us who t h e s i n g e r s were and how t h e y a r e r e l a t e d t o t h e f a m i l y . Ove r and o v e r a g a i n we h e a r , "And t h i s i s S u r j i t ' s S u s " ( m o t h e r - i n - l a w ) . I t h i n k t h e r e i s a" p r o c e s s o f t r a n s f o r m a t i o n g o i n g on - one o f m a k i n g a new k i n d o f s e n s e t o S u r j i t , o f h e r new r o l e as a b e t r o t h e d woman. E v e r y t i m e one. o f h e r new ' r e l a t i v e s ' a r e p o i n t e d o u t i n a p i c t u r e o r i n s o n g , she i s , o r w i l l p r o b a b l y b e g i n , t o t h i n k o f h e r r o l e v i s a. v i s t h a t p e r s o n . The women t o n i g h t s m i l e a t h e r a p p r o v i n g l y and t a l k i n q u i e t u n d e r t o n e s , s o t h e men c a n n o t h e a r , when t h e y t a l k a b o u t h e r f u t u r e r e l a t i v e s . S u r j i t i s b e i n g p r e s e n t e d w i t h a new c o n c e p t i o n o f h e r s e l f , o v e r and o v e r , and i n t i m e she w i l l i d e n t i f y w i t h i t . He r c o n s c i o u s n e s s o r e x p e r i e n c e i s b e i n g r e s h a p e d by t h e f r e q u e n t e x p r e s s i o n o f t h e s e k i n s h i p r e l a t i o n s h i p s . T o n i g h t , S u r j i t s i t s i n a r e f l e c t i v e mood. A c c o r d i n g t o h e r m o t h e r , she i s n o t v e r y happy a b o u t t h e new s t a t e o f a f f a i r s . T h i s i s t h e b e g i n n i n g o f a new p h a s e i n S u r j i t ' s l i f e . As h e r g r a n d m o t h e r was t o t e l l me l a t e r : " I f we k e e p t e l l i n g h e r , i t w i l l go i n t o h e r thamag ( m i n d ) . " The f a c t t h a t t h e r e i s an e x p e c t a t i o n o f change i n S u r j i t ' s c o n c e p t i o n o f h e r s e l f , as w e l l as i n h e r b e h a v i o r , t o f i t t h e new r e a l i t y i s a c o n -s c i o u s one and i s v e r b a l i z e d . I t i s my i m p r e s s i o n t h a t d u r i n g t h i s p e r i o d t h e b e t r o t h e d woman i s made t o f e e l t h a t she i s s i g n i f i c a n t - she w i l l soon j o i n t he - 51 -g r o u p o f young b r i d e s who a r e s o a d m i r e d and t a l k e d a b o u t i n t h e commun i t y . F o r a few y e a r s t h e y a r e t h e f o c a l p o i n t amongst t h e women - t h e young g i r l s a d o r e t hem, m o t h e r s - i n - l a w d i s p l a y t hem, compare and l a v i s h p r a i s e upon them o r b e r a t e t hem, and o t h e r women g o s s i p a b o u t them. T h i s new p h a s e may be more d i f f i c u l t f o r a C a n a d i a n S i k h woman f o r whom a m a r r i a g e i s a r r a n g e d , t h a n i t i s f o r one i n I n d i a . T h e r e i s a p e r i o d o f t i m e a f t e r h e r mungna, I t h i n k , when she i s h e l p e d by h e r e x t e n d e d k i n n e t w o r k t o make ' s e n s e ' o f t h e new s i t u a t i o n . I saw p a r t o f t h i s s e n s e m a k i n g u n f o l d i n g a t t h e d i n n e r , a s t h e e v e n t s o f t h e b e t r o t h a l a r r a n g e m e n t s a r e d i s c u s s e d o v e r and o v e r , i n a n a r r a t i v e s e q u e n c e . The young b r i d e s e s p e c i a l l y , I t h i n k , s e e i t as one o f t h e i r r o l e s t o h e l p t h e n e w l y a f f i a n c e d g i r l t o a c c e p t t h e i d e a and t o s t a r t t o r e l a t e t o them i n a new w a y , f o r soon she w i l l be one o f them. They n e v e r t i r e o f h e a r i n g t h e d e t a i l s , and t o e v e r y newcomer t h e d e t a i l s a r e n a r r a t e d anew. I t p r o b a b l y becomes p a r t o f S u r j i t ' s s e l f i n some way. I t h i n k i t ( the a r r a n g e d m a r r i a g e ) h a s d e f i n e d s t a g e s o f : 1) t h e i n i t i a l n e g a t i o n o f t h e i d e a o f b e i n g b e t r o t h e d 2) an a c c e p t a n c e o f t h e i d e a - as an a b s t r a c t n o t i o n 3) t h e a c t u a l r i t u a l o f m a r r i a g e ( s h a d i ) 4) t h e g r o w i n g e x p e r i e n c e o f t h e f a c t t h a t she i s a l l i e d t o a new, and what i s t o become, a p r i m a r y s e t o f r e l a t i v e s . T h i s p e r i o d o f r e s h a p i n g o f h e r c o n s c i o u s n e s s by r e p e t i t i o n o f o f h e r new r e l a t i o n s h i p s , a c c o m p a n i e d by t h e p o s i t i v e a p p r o v a l she r e c e i v e d - 52 -f r o m a l l t h e women, t h e new a t t e n t i o n a t a l l t h e t e m p l e f u n c t i o n s , w i l l soon h e l p h e r t o move on t o t h e n e x t s t a g e o f a c c e p t a n c e o f t h e a b s t r a c t n o t i o n . I t may be some t i m e b e f o r e a woman a c c e p t s t h e n o t i o n o f b e i n g b e t r o t h e d . S o m e t i m e s , as i t was f o r D a r s h a n , i t may be s e v e r a l y e a r s b e f o r e t h e man has f i n i s h e d h i s e d u c a t i o n i n I n d i a , and g e t s t h e n e c e s s a r y i m m i g r a t i o n p a p e r s t o come t o C a n a d a . I t h i n k t h a t i n s u c h c a s e s , f o r t h e s e young women t h e r e a r e p r o b a b l y p e r i o d s o f c o n s c i o u s f o r g e t t i n g o f t h e new r o l e , e s p e c i a l l y when a t s c h o o l o r a t work i n W e s t e r n s e t t i n g s , away f r om home. B u t i t i s p r o b a b l y n e v e r f o r v e r y l o n g ; f a m i l y members p l a n , c o n s u l t , buy f o r , w o r r y a b o u t t h a t p r o s p e c t i v e g room, w r i t e t o h i m , phone h i m , w o r r y a b o u t i m m i g r a t i o n - i m p l o r e b o t h C a n a d i a n 28 and I n d i a n s i d e s t o h e l p and t o h u r r y t h e p r o c e s s , e t c . , e t c . And o f c o u r s e , a t t h e w e e k l y t e m p l e f u n c t i o n s p e o p l e a s k a b o u t t h e p r o g r e s s a f a m i l y i s m a k i n g t h r o u g h t h e r e d t a p e o f i m m i g r a t i o n , m e d i c a l s , e t c . so t h a t t h e r e may be an a c c e p t a n c e , a l b e i t one t h a t i s q u e s t i o n e d . My e l d e s t n i e c e D a r s h a n d i d somet imes a s k h e r mo the r w i t h some a n n o y a n c e : How d i d t h e y know what he was l i k e ? How d i d t h e y know t h e two w o u l d l i k e e a c h o t h e r ? What i f t h e y d i d n o t ? The p e r i o d o f t h e b e t r o t h a l i s somet imes p o r t r a y e d i n t h e songs as one where t h e y o u n g woman seems t o have become more i n d i v i d u a l i s t i c , t h a t i s she seems t o have a c q u i r e d more i n d e p e n d e n c e i n some w a y s . I t h i n k t h e g i r l s i n I n d i a l o o k f o r w a r d t o t h i s p e r i o d i n t h e i r l i v e s , when t h e y a r e g i v e n a good d e a l o f a t t e n t i o n f o r a p e r i o d o f t i m e p r i o r t o t h e s h a d i , and a r e r e l i e v e d o f o n e r o u s h o u s e h o l d c h o r e s t o work on t h e i r t r o u s s e a u s . - 53 -One of the songs or geet which i l l u s t r a t e s a young woman's independence and pride i n h e r s e l f and her coming marriage i s usually sung by two women i n the r o l e s of mother and daughter (see Appendix i l l ) . This i s a song about a mother who has sent her young daughter to draw water at the v i l l a g e well and, a f t e r waiting f o r some time for her to get back, goes to the well and finds her s i t t i n g i n thought, and washing and rubbing her feet clean, as i f she were going somewhere. The mother t e l l s her not to wash her feet so; she says the flowers are i n f u l l bloom i n the f i e l d s ; her daughter should s t a r t s t r i n g i n g the 29 garlands (for her wedding perhaps?). The young woman tal k s back to her mother and t e l l s her to go explain to her father that daughters are precious ( i . e . not to be scolded)."^ 0 She t e l l s her mother to go and scold,or f i g h t with some household servant ( l a g i ) . The mother r e p l i e s with " l i s t e n my daughter don't speak back to your mother i n such a large ( i . e . loud) voice, where you have made do for twelve years (in her parents home), wait there p a t i e n t l y f o r j u s t s i x more months (presumably for the wedding day)". The daughter r e p l i e s that f o r twelve years she has fought back tears at t h i s place, that she loves her father, but she won't stay another hour - her trousseau i s ready' The mother, exasperated, responds with the f i r s t r e f r a i n saying that she should go home and do her work instead of s i t t i n g washing her feet (anticipating leaving). This song t e l l s us that the bride-to-be i s indeed young, j u s t twelve, and that she i s not f e a r f u l of her wedding, but has been a n t i c i p a t i n g i t a l l of her l i f e and i s eager to leave. She i s also reminding her mother that daughters are to be brought up kindly i n - 54 -t h e i r p a r e n t a l home f o r t h e y soon l e a v e and p e r h a p s t o d i f f i c u l t 31 m a r r i a g e s a n d u n k i n d homes. I t h i n k t h a t d a u g h t e r s i n r u r a l I n d i a , b e c a u s e t h e y have n o t b e e n e x p o s e d t o t h e r o m a n t i c l o v e c o m p l e x o f t h e W e s t , make t h e t r a n s i t i o n t o wedded l i f e more e a s i l y (and p e r h a p s more w i l l i n g l y ) t h a n S i k h women r a i s e d i n t h e W e s t . Young women i n I n d i a l o o k f o r w a r d t o r o m a n c e , b u t w i t h i n m a r r i e d l i f e , whe reas i n t h e West young S i k h women have been e x p o s e d t o t h e i d e a o f ' l o v e m a r r i a g e s ' . N o t o n l y a r e songs s u c h a s t h i s one v e r y a p p e a l i n g , b u t t h e y t e l l u s a good d e a l a b o u t t h e c u l t u r a l b e l i e f s and v a l u e s . Many o f t h e o l d e r v a l u e s now d i s c a r d e d a r e encoded i n t h e s o n g s . I n t h e above s o n g , f o r i n s t a n c e , t h e age a t m a r r i a g e i s g i v e n a s j u s t o v e r t w e l v e . Such e a r l y m a r r i a g e s were made i l l e g a l i n I n d i a more t h a n 40 y e a r s a g o . (They do s t i l l o c c u r , b u t i n f r e q u e n t l y . ) Summary I n t h i s c h a p t e r , I h a v e d e s c r i b e d t h e b e t r o t h a l s y s t e m o f t h e C a n a d i a n P u n j a b i S i k h s . By t h e u s e o f t h e c o n c e p t o f ' c o n s c i o u s m o d e l s ' , I have p r e s e n t e d f i r s t , t h e ' i d e a l m o d e l ' B . C . S i k h s have o f a S i k h m a r r i a g e a r r a n g e m e n t . T h e n , t h e ' a c t u a l o r i m m e d i a t e m o d e l ' i s d e s c r i b e d s h o w i n g t h e s t r a t e g i e s f o r m a r r i a g e a r r a n g e m e n t s w h i c h a r e e n a c t e d by B . C . S i k h s . A t h i r d m o d e l , t h e S i k h ' o b s e r v e r ' s m o d e l ' ( t he mode l B . C . . S i k h s have o f n o n - I n d i a n s ) was m e n t i o n e d b r i e f l y . The m a r r i a g e r u l e s o f t h e B . C . S i k h s , who a r e o f t h e J a t c a s t e , a r e d e s c r i b e d as p r o h i b i t i n g m a r r i a g e s w i t h a member o f : - 55 -a ) o n e ' s f a t h e r ' s g o t h ( o n e ' s o w n l i n e a g e ) , b ) o n e ' s m o t h e r ' s g o t h , c ) o n e ' s f a t h e r ' s m o t h e r ' s g o t h , a n d d ) o n e ' s m o t h e r ' s m o t h e r ' s g o t h . D a r s h a n w a s a l s o e x p l i c i t a b o u t o n e ' s FBWB a n d MBWB b e i n g p r o h i b i t e d m a r r i a g e p a r t n e r s . I n a d d i t i o n , v i l l a g e e x o g a m y i s p r a c t i s e d s o t h a t m a r r i a g e s a r e n o t a r r a n g e d i n v i l l a g e s b o r d e r i n g o n o n e ' s o w n , b u t s h o u l d b e i n v i l l a g e s a t l e a s t t e n t o f i f t e e n m i l e s a p a r t . B . C . S i k h s h a v e a n i d e o l o g y w h i c h i n c l u d e s a b e l i e f i n a p a t r i l i n e a l l y , p a t r i l o c a l l y b a s e d e x t e n d e d f a m i l y s t r u c t u r e w i t h m a l e d o m i n a n c e . I h a v e e x p l a i n e d t h a t i n t h e a r r a n g e m e n t o f m a r r i a g e s i t i s o b l i g a t o r y f o r t h e p a r e n t s t o f i n d g r o o m s w h o s e f a m i l i e s h a v e a s l i g h t l y h i g h e r s t a t u s t h a n t h e i r o w n . T h i s h i g h e r s t a t u s i s n o t b a s e d o n a f o r m a l h i e r a r c h i c a l r a n k i n g o f g o t h , b u t i s d e f i n e d l o c a l l y ( i . e . w i t h i n a n a r e a o f a d i s t r i c t ) . P e r h a p s , a n d t h i s i s my u n d e r s t a n d i n g , f a m i l i e s h a v e t h e i r o w n r a n k o r d e r o f p r e f e r r e d g o t h , b a s e d o n p a s t a l l i a n c e s a n d t h e c h a n g i n g e c o n o m i c c i r c u m s t a n c e s o f a l i n e a g e . C o n s e q u e n t l y , t h e r e i s f l e x i b i l i t y i n t h e g o t h w h i c h a r e p r e f e r r e d o v e r t i m e . I h a v e s h o w n , t o o , h o w t h e v i l l a g e b o u n d a r i e s i n I n d i a a r e r e p r o d u c e d i n C a n a d a . T h e w a y s i n w h i c h v i l l a g e a f f i l i a t i o n , k i n s h i p t e r m s , a n d i d e n t i t y a r e i n e x t r i c a b l y l i n k e d t a n d h o w t h e s e i d e a s a r e t r a n s p o s e d t o a n d m a n i f e s t e d i n C a n a d a , h a v e b e e n d e s c r i b e d . B y t h e u s e o f t w o c a s e s t u d i e s , I h a v e e x p l a i n e d h o w m u n g n a s a r e ' a c t u a l l y ' c o n d u c t e d . T h e r e i s c o n s i d e r a b l e f l e x i b i l i t y f o r i d i o s y n c r a t i c e x p r e s s i o n i n t h e w a y t h e r i t e s a r e c o n d u c t e d , w i t h i n - 56 -the broad i d e a l of the mungna and shadi. This expression (or these choices) depends on the economic circumstances and the wishes of the p a r t i c u l a r family and lineage involved. In the following chapter, the pre-wedding events, the sagan (rites) are described. - 57 -FOOTNOTES This concept developed and used by Barbara Ward (1965:113-37), was adapted by Ames and I n g l i s (B.C. Studies, No. 20, Winter 1973-74) to the study of B.C. Sikh family l i f e . As an i n s i d e r , I am also an informant (but as stated i n the i n t r o d u c t i o n , ! check my c u l t u r a l knowledge c a r e f u l l y against that of other Sikhs). Ward (1965:124) also r e f e r s to t h i s model as the believed-in t r a d i t i o n a l model. According to Karve (1968, 3rd ed.:118), "The J a t i s an a g r i c u l t u r a l and a f i g h t i n g caste of south Punjab, Delhi and northern Rajputana. I t i s divided i n t o exogamous gotras and the marriage rule i s that a man must not marry i n t o (1) h i s father's i . e . h i s own gotra, (2) h i s mother's gotra and (3) h i s dadi's i . e . father's mother's gotra. Not so long ago, and among the orthodox people even now, a man also had to avoid h i s (4) nani's i . e . his mother's mother's gotra." (The underlining i n t h i s quotation i s mine.) As well,there i s v i l l a g e exogamy so that marriages cannot be arranged i n bordering v i l l a g e s ; i n f a c t I was t o l d not within at l e a s t 10-15 miles of the person's own v i l l a g e . Ames & I n g l i s (1973-74:28) say: No Sikh gave a c o n s i s t e n t l y negative view of Canadian family l i f e i n a l l categories, although most gratuitous statements d i d tend to be negative. The c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s they i s o l a t e from mass media sources are: "...sexual e x p l o i t a t i o n , youthful r e b e l l i o n against parental authority, the tragedy of ol d age, and the alleged i n s t a b i l i t y of the conjugal r e l a t i o n s h i p . " (a) George Buhler, Dharma Shastras, Volume 25, 1886, Manu, IX, 3. ( D) While this-is'the- i d e a l , i n actual' p r a c t i c e educated B.C. Sikh daughters, l i k e the c h i l d r e n of most immigrants, f i n d that from a very early age, there i s a r e v e r s a l of t h e i r r o l e v i s a v i s t h e i r , parents. In many l i f e s i t u a t i o n s they must assume the r o l e of the helper; the parents, that of the r e c i p i e n t . In these households, the parents r e l y on t h e i r children's knowledge of English language and the c u l t u r a l ways of the - 58 -n o n - I n d i a n s , w h i c h t h e i r c h i l d r e n a c q u i r e a t s c h o o l and w o r k . A s young B . C . S i k h c h i l d r e n m a t u r e i n t o young a d u l t s , t h e y have u s u a l l y a c q u i r e d e x p e r t i s e i n t h e C a n a d i a n way o f l i f e s u c h as s h o p p i n g , b a n k i n g and t r a v e l l i n g e t c . ; and a l s o know how and what t o t r a n s l a t e and e x p l a i n t o t h e i r p a r e n t s as t h e y go t o i m m i g r a t i o n o r m e d i c a l a p p o i n t m e n t s and a s t h e y e x p e d i t e o t h e r f a m i l y b u s i n e s s . When a C a n a d a - b o r n and r a i s e d S i k h woman m a r r i e s , e s p e c i a l l y i f i t i s t o a man f r om I n d i a who l a c k s f a m i l i a r i t y w i t h C a n a d i a n w a y s , h e r e x p e r t i s e and know ledge g i v e s h e r power and c o n t r o l w h i c h h e r I n d i a -. b o r n and r a i s e d c o u n t e r p a r t t a k e s y e a r s t o a c q u i r e , i f she e v e r d o e s . T h i s i s n o t t h e p l a c e t o examine t h e ways i n w h i c h power and c o n t r o l a f f e c t t h e i n t e r p e r s o n a l ( w i t h h e r husband) o r s o c i a l ( i n t h e S i k h communi ty ) q u a l i t y o f h e r l i f e . T h a t i s a t o p i c f o r c o m p a r a t i v e s o c i a l a n t h r o p o l o g i c a l r e s e a r c h , p e r h a p s i n Women's S t u d i e s . 7 D a r s h a n however d i d know t h e r u l e s , I q u o t e f r o m my f i e l d n o t e s d a t e d M a r c h 2 9 , 1981 :3 ) I was c u r i o u s a b o u t t h e i r ( D a r s h a n ' s and S u r j i t ' s ) k n o w l e d g e o f m a r r i a g e r u l e s . D a r . knows them. She s a i d she c o u l d n o t m a r r y i n t o h e r own v i l l a g e , n o r anyone w i t h h e r s u r n a m e , h e r m o t h e r ' s surname o r e i t h e r o f h e r g r a n d m o t h e r s m a i d e n s u r n a m e s . She a l s o c a n n o t m a r r y any o f h e r MBWB's o r h e r F B W B ' s . 8 S i k i r i a means ' k i n r e l a t i o n s h i p s o r a l l i a n c e s ' . 9 B u n d / b a r t h a i means t o p o r t i o n o u t , t o d i s t r i b u t e , o r t o d o l e o u t . As S h a c k l e (1972 :127) s t a t e s , i n P u n j a b i "some a d j e c t i v e s a r e commonly f o l l o w e d by a n o t h e r s i m i l a r i n sound o r m e a n i n g , t o e m p h a s i z e t h e s e n s e " . Q u e v i l d a r i means t o have e x p e r t i s e and r e s p o n s i b i l i t y • i n e x c h a n g e s a n d t h e i r m a i n t e n a n c e , t o h o n o u r p r o m i s e s and c o n -t r a c t s . Hence q u e v i l d a r i s one w i t h t h e above q u a l i t i e s . 10 I have u s e d t h e wo rd t r a n s a c t i o n s b e c a u s e t h e r e i s i n t e n t i o n a l i t y i n t h e c h o i c e o f p a r t n e r s . I t h i n k t h a t once t h e m a r r i a g e r u l e s have been c o n s i d e r e d and t h e r e i s no p r o h i b i t i o n , p e o p l e t h e n a t t e m p t t o make an ' a l l i a n c e ' w h i c h w i l l enhance t h e i r p r e s t i g e , g a i n them an a l l y . - 59 -11 From my c o n v e r s a t i o n s w i t h a number o f women, I g l e a n e d t h a t s a g a n a r e r i t u a l s c o n d u c t e d f o r ' g o o d l u c k o r good o m e n s ' . When I a s k e d wha t t h e y mean, no one c o u l d t e l l me more t h a n i t i s t r a d i t i o n t o c o n d u c t t hem. I t h i n k t h a t l i k e t h e S i k h r e l i g i o n . , t h e y a r e s y n c r e t i c , p e r h a p s f r o m H i n d u i s m , I s l a m and a n c i e n t y o g i c t r a d i t i o n s . 12 I n d i a n Women's r i g h t s t o immoveab le p r o p e r t y have been s e v e r e l y c i r c u m s c r i b e d s i n c e a n c i e n t t i m e s . S i n c e t h e l a t e 1 9 5 0 ' s t h e r e have b e e n a s e r i e s o f L e g i s l a t i v e a t t e m p t s t o change t h e p r o p r i e t o r y r i g h t s o f women, b e g i n n i n g w i t h t h e H i n d u S u c c e s s i o n A c t i n 1 9 5 6 . I have been t o l d t h a t S i k h women i n t h e P u n j a b have a r i g h t t o p r o p e r t y b u t i t i s d i f f i c u l t t o e n f o r c e and t h e norm r e m a i n s t h a t women do n o t i n h e r i t a n c e s t r a l immoveab le p r o p e r t y . T h i s has b e e n t h e c a u s e o f much l i t i g a t i o n i n t h e P u n j a b . F o r an e a r l y s o u r c e on t h i s s e e : H i n d u Woman's R i g h t t o P r o p e r t y ; ( P a s t and P r e s e n t ) by Roop L . C h a u d h a r y , p u b l i s h e d by F i r m a K . L . Mukhapadyay , C a l c u t t a , 1 9 6 1 . 13 D a u g h t e r s have t h e r i g h t o f dowry and i t seems t h a t t h e d a u g h t e r ' s d a u g h t e r can a l s o e x p e c t a s u b s t a n t i a l e x p e n d i t u r e f r o m t h e same l i n e a g e ( f rom h e r MB and h e r M F ) . 14 F o l l o w G e e r t z : ' m o d e l s f o r ' r e a l i t y a r e m o t i v a t i o n a l , i . e . t h e y r e p r e s e n t s o c i a l n o r m s , a r e t e m p l a t e s f o r a c t i o n and c o u l d be s a i d t o be more a b o u t i m m e d i a t e l i f e . ' M o d e l s o f r e a l i t y a r e t h e w o r l d v i e w o f t h a t c u l t u r e , t h e i r b a s i c a s s u m p t i o n s a b o u t t h e i r w o r l d and t h e i r p l a c e i n i t , t h e y t o u c h i m m e d i a t e l i f e l e s s . 15 I have been g i v e n t h i s i n f o r m a t i o n by a number o f p e o p l e - I do n o t know t h e I n d i a n l a w s a b o u t a b s e n t e e o w n e r s h i p . 16 One e l d e r l y ma le r e l a t i v e s a i d t h a t mos t p e o p l e f e e l t h a t a r e l a t e d f e l l o w v i l l a g e r i s more l i a b l e t o t a k e a d v a n t a g e o f s u c h a s i t u a t i o n . On t h e o t h e r hand most o f t h e p e o p l e o f t h e v i l l a g e have an a n t a g o n i s m t o s o m e o n e ' s a f f i n a l r e l a t i v e s c u l t i v a t i n g v i l l a g e l a n d s s i n c e t h e y a r e f r o m o t h e r v i l l a g e s and a r e t h u s c o n s i d e r e d t o be ' o u t s i d e r s ' . B u t a n o n - r e l a t i v e ( f rom o u t s i d e o r w i t h i n t h e v i l l a g e ) , may t r y t o a p p r o p r i a t e t h e l a n d f o r h i m s e l f . A b s e n t e e l a n d o w n e r s h i p p o s e s many d i l emmas f o r S i k h s , e s p e c i a l l y i f two c o p a r c e n e r s a r e b o t h i n C a n a d a . (One needs t o have a n c e s t r a l l a n d and a v i l l a g e -I n d i a b a s e when a r r a n g i n g m a r r i a g e s . ) 17 B a r t l e (1978 :211) i n h i s s t u d y o f t h e Obo, G h a n a , c i t e s S c h i l d k r o u t ( 1 9 7 5 : 2 4 9 ) : k i n s h i p r e l a t i o n s h i p s among r u r a l b o r n i m m i g r a n t s , b e s i d e t h o s e f o r m e d t h r o u g h m a r r i a g e , a r e o f t e n v o l u n t a r i l y c o n t r a c t e d , t h r o u g h t h e m e t a p h o r i c a l use o f k i n s h i p t e rms and t h e p e r f o r m a n c e o f k i n s h i p r o l e s . - 60 -T h i s i s a l s o t r u e f o r B . C . S i k h s and p r o b a b l y f o r o t h e r i m -m i g r a n t g r o u p s as w e l l . To s p o n s o r a phog i s a l s o t o a s k f o r v a l i d a t i o n by t h e commun i t y . A phog i s u s u a l l y h e l d f o r an e v e n t o f s o c i a l s i g n i f i c a n c e , a m a r r i a g e , a d e a t h , a b a p t i s m o r a k h u s h i  t h e phog ( i . e . t o s p o n s o r an e v e n t f o r h a p p i n e s s t o b r i n g b h a i n and p r a ( b r o t h e r s ) t o g e t h e r . These s p o n s o r s may be p e o p l e who have n o t h a d any o t h e r t y p e o f phog t o s p o n s o r f o r some t i m e . R e l a t i v e s and c l o s e f r i e n d s o f a phog s p o n s o r e r u s u a l l y g i v e t h e l a r g e r d o n a t i o n s b e c a u s e i t i s a - ' f a m i l y ' e v e n t ( the s p o n s o r i s a r e p r e s e n t a t i v e o f t h e l a r g e r l i n e a g e and r e c e i v e s a show o f s u p p o r t , b o t h m o n e t a r y and as s e v a ( s e r v i c e ) i n t h e t e m p l e k i t c h e n . I f few p e o p l e come i n s u p p o r t o f t h e i r l i n e a g e member, t h a t w o u l d become t h e b a s i s o f comment i n t h e communi ty - u s u a l l y i n t h e f o r m o f t h e e v a l u a t i o n o f t h e u n d e r l y i n g c o n d i t i o n s f o r t h e l a c k o f s u p p o r t . A l t e r n a t i v e l y , n o t s u p p o r t i n g someone i s a way t o show t h e communi ty how s t r o n g l y t h e p a r t y n o t i n a t t e n d a n c e f e e l s a b o u t some o n g o i n g g r i e v a n c e . O t h e r w i s e , i f a p e r s o n c a n n o t a t t e n d a phog s p o n s o r e d by an i n d i v i d u a l , he o r she w i l l s e n d t h e d o n a t i o n w i t h someone e l s e who i s g o i n g t o t h e t e m p l e so t h a t i t g e t s r e c o r d e d . I s a y ' e n i g m a t i c a l l y ' ' f o r I have d e c i d e d t o p r e s e n t my know ledge o f how m a r r i a g e s a r e a r r a n g e d ( t h i s may a p p e a r t o be a s e t o f g e n e r a l i z a t i o n s ) b u t have n o t y e t i n t r o d u c e d t h e c a s e s t u d i e s i n w h i c h t h e s e p e o p l e a r e t h e ' a c t o r s ' . The s a n c t i o n s f o r n o t d o i n g s o w o u l d r a n g e f r o m g o s s i p f r om v i l l a g e r s t h a t t h e g i r l h a d some h i d d e n d e f e c t so c o u l d n o t a t t r a c t a more p r e s t i g i o u s m a r r i a g e p a r t n e r , t o s p e c u l a t i o n o f a l l s o r t s a b o u t why a f a m i l y w o u l d r e s o r t t o s u c h a m a r r i a g e . D r . H e l g a J a c o b s o n , d u r i n g a commi t t ee m e e t i n g , r a i s e d t h e q u e s t i o n o f how a l l i a n c e s a r e c o n d u c t e d by S i k h s . I n N o r t h I n d i a d i s p e r s e d m a r i t a l a l l i a n c e s a r e t h e r e s u l t o f t h e f o u r g o t r a r u l e s o f exogamy. However among some J a t s , K o l e n d a (1970) has r e c o r d e d r e p e a t a l l i a n c e s , t h a t i s s i b l i n g - s e t and c o l l a t e r a l - s e t m a r r i a g e s w h i c h she r e f e r s t o as ' d e f l e c t e d a l l i a n c e ' . M o r e o v e r , she s t a t e s t h a t t h e y do n o t v i o l a t e t h e m a r r i a g e r u l e s o f t h e N o r t h w h i c h p r o h i b i t m a r r i a g e amongst t h e f o u r g o t r a s I m e n t i o n e d e a r l i e r . I have know ledge o f one c o l l a t e r a l - s e t m a r r i a g e i n Canada w h i c h was c o n d u c t e d f o r c o n v e n i e n c e . - 61 -23 As D r . M i c h a e l Ames has p o i n t e d o u t ( p e r s o n a l c o m m u n i c a t i o n ) : " B y now most P u n j a b i s a r e p r o b a b l y m i g r a n t s - a l l o v e r I n d i a and a l l o v e r t h e w o r l d . They have been m i g r a n t s f o r many, many y e a r s , s o t h e y may have b r o u g h t w i t h them t h e s e ' a d a p t i v e ' p a t t e r n s . " 24 P a t a s e a r e r o u n d w a f e r - l i k e swee t s t h e s i z e o f a t w e n t y - f i v e c e n t p i e c e , w h i c h i n I n d i a a r e somet imes p u r c h a s e d b e f o r e one goes i n t o a S i k h t e m p l e t o p r a y . These a r e t h e n d i s t r i b u t e d t o anyone who happens t o be i n o r o u t s i d e t h e t e m p l e . When I d i d t h i s i n I n d i a , i t was on a day when t h e degh (a communion f o o d somet imes c a l l e d p r a s h a d ) , was n o t b e i n g s e r v e d , so I f e l t t h e p a t a s e were c o m p e n s a t o r y . They were s h a r e d w i t h a b r o t h e r h o o d , s o f u l f i l l e d t h e S i k h Gurus i n j u n c t i o n f o r us t o p r a y t o g e t h e r . P a t a s e a r e a l s o u s e d i n s a g a n (o r r i t e s ) s u c h as b e t r o t h a l s . I n t h i s c a s e , and t h r o u g h o u t t h i s t h e s i s we w i l l see t h a t f o o d i s a m u l t i v a l e n t s y m b o l . The p a t a s a h e r e m e d i a t e s t h e s o c i a l exchange be tween two l i n e a g e s , whe reas i n t h e t e m p l e t h e y ( p a t a s e ) m e d i a t e be tween man and G o d ) . 25 C o l o u r s y m b o l i s m i s i m p o r t a n t d u r i n g r i t u a l s , I was t o l d r e d i s ' g o o d l u c k ' , b u t no one e l a b o r a t e d on t h e s y m b o l i s m . I t h i n k t h e r e a r e many a c c r e t i o n s i n P u n j a b i S i k h c u l t u r e f r om a n c i e n t I n d i a n t r a d i t i o n s . F o r c o l o u r s y m b o l i s m t h e r e a d e r may c o n s u l t U p a n i s h a d s , t r a n s l a t e d by Swami N i k h i l i n a n a n d a , 1 9 6 3 . See a l s o V i c t o r T u r n e r , The F o r e s t o f S y m b o l s , p p . 8 4 - 9 0 , f o r a s h o r t d i s c u s s i o n o f c o l o u r s y m b o l i s m i n t h e a n c i e n t w o r l d . I do n o t know o f a S i k h e x e g e s i s o f c o l o u r s y m b o l i s m . 26 I n t h i s i n s t a n c e t h e N a i ( b a r b e r c a s t e ) i s t h e l o w e r c a s t e p e r s o n who i s ' a t t a c h e d ' t o t h e f a m i l y i n a j a j m a n i r e l a t i o n s h i p . Amongst P u n j a b i S i k h s he does n o t c u t h a i r , b u t does p a r e f i n g e r and t o e n a i l s o f h i s c l i e n t s , as w e l l as d e l i v e r messages on s p e c i a l o c c a s i o n s ; and d u r i n g m a r r i a g e a r r a n g e m e n t s he i s t h e p e r s o n who does t h e n e g o t i a t i n g f o r ' h i s ' f a m i l y . I n r e c e n t y e a r s h o w e v e r , f e w e r p e o p l e a r e w i l l i n g t o l e a v e t h e s e a r r a n g e m e n t s t o t h e N a i . 27 The y o u n g e r s i s t e r (s) s a l i (s) a r e t r a d i t i o n a l l y t h e r e p l a c e m e n t f o r t h e woman b e i n g b e t r o t h e d s h o u l d she d i e i n t h e e a r l y y e a r s o f h e r m a r r i a g e . The t e r m s a l i i s a l s o u s e d as an a b u s i v e t e r m by men i . e . as a m i l d swea r wo rd ( to r e f e r t o some woman as a s a l i i s t o i m p l y p r i v i l e g e d f a m i l i a r i t y w i t h h e r , t h u s , t h i s usage i s an i n s u l t i n t h i s s o c i e t y ) . T h i s may i n d i c a t e t h e l ow s t a t u s o f t h e woman's s i d e v i s a v i s t h e ma le s i d e i n I n d i a n m a r r i a g e s . The t e r m s a l a , c o n v e r s e l y i s u s e d as a k i n s h i p t e r m and f o r a way o f d e s i g n a t i n g f a m i l i a r i t y be tween two men. As D r . M i c h a e l Ames has p o i n t e d o u t , i t i s a l s o a t e rm u s e d t o r i d i c u l e , amongst some p e o p l e s . - 62 -28 I am n o t p e r s o n a l l y aware o f c i r c u m s t a n c e s where i m m i g r a t i o n has a c t u a l l y f o r b i d d e n e n t r y , b u t do know o f p e o p l e who have been d e l a y e d by I n d i a n o f f i c i a l s o r C a n a d i a n o f f i c i a l s f o r r e a s o n s o f h e a l t h , o r m i s u n d e r s t a n d i n g a b o u t r e q u i r e d d o c u m e n t a t i o n . 29 The r e f e r e n c e t o f l o w e r s i n f u l l b l oom i s a metaphor f o r young women r e a d y t o be m a r r i e d . I t i s a me taphor w h i c h c a r r i e s a l o t o f m e a n i n g i n P u n j a b i . Women a r e o f t e n r e f e r r e d t o as f l o w e r s . 30 I was t o l d a b o u t one ' d a u g h t e r ' who was h a v i n g d i f f i c u l t y a d j u s t i n g t o Canada and h e r new f a m i l y . My i n f o r m a n t s a i d she had b e e n k e p t l a t t e by h e r p a r e n t s . T h i s e x p r e s s i o n i s n o t synonymous w i t h b e i n g s p o i l t , b u t p e r h a p s ' i n d u l g e d ' o r r a i s e d w i t h more g e n t l e n e s s and f o n d n e s s . The s t a t u s o f t h e f a m i l y i s o f c o u r s e a m a j o r c o n s i d e r a t i o n - n o t a l l f a m i l i e s c a n a f f o r d t o keep t h e i r d a u g h t e r s i n s u c h a way , a l t h o u g h mos t a t t e m p t t o - ' b e c a u s e t h e y w i l l be g o i n g t o a n o t h e r h o u s e 1 . 31 T h i s i s a s e n t i m e n t t h a t i s f r e q u e n t l y e x p r e s s e d i n a P u n j a b i S i k h home, a n d e s p e c i a l l y when b r o t h e r s and s i s t e r s f i g h t . A boy w i l l be r e p r o a c h e d and t o l d n o t t o f i g h t w i t h a s i s t e r f o r she w i l l b e g o i n g t o a s t r a n g e h o u s e h o l d and who knows what h e r l i f e w i l l h o l d f o r h e r t h e r e . - 63 -CHAPTER II THE RITUALS (SAGAN) There are a number of r i t u a l s which occur between the mungna (betrothal) and the shadi (wedding), which may be viewed as parts of the c u l t u r a l performance. They have a dynamic which l i n k s one with the other i n a sequential way, leading up to the shadi. From the performance of one such r i t e i t i s possible to a n t i c i p a t e at l e a s t one other, and perhaps more, of the other events, and the shadi i t s e l f . These r i t e s are c a l l e d sagan by the Punjabi Sikhs. I believe they are from an ancient f o l k t r a d i t i o n , with accretions from Hindu and Islamic b e l i e f s . They do not have e x p l i c i t meanings, they are procedures f o r good omens or good fortune. No prayer, p u b l i c or p r i v a t e i s conducted. Nor could I t e l l what power, i f any, i s invoked. I t i s as i f the action involved i n conducting the r i t e , and the r i t u a l paraphernalia, contain everything that i s needed to ensure the e f f i c a c y of the category of event c a l l e d sagan.^ In t h i s chapter, the sagan are described i n the order of t h e i r occurrence: A) MAIAN B) PALI C) GURDHWARE LADDU, PAKORIA PAKORN JARNA Food Preparation at the Temple D) GOREA THE SAGAN Western Wedding Shower - 64 -E) SAGAN TE GIDTHA F a m i l y R i t e ( I n c l u d i n g a W e s t e r n - t y p e Wedd ing Shower) and Dance F) GIDTHA Women's F o l k Dance G) NAI -THOI The R i t u a l B a t h i n g o f B r i d e - t o - b e F o r e a c h r i t e o r e v e n t , t h e s c e n e i s d e s c r i b e d and t h e c a s t o f c h a r a c t e r s i s p r e s e n t e d . The k i n s h i p c h a r t p r o v i d e d i n F i g u r e I,.-, shows t h e m a i n p a r t i c i p a n t s i n t h e e v e n t s d i s c u s s e d i n t h i s c h a p t e r . I n many c a s e s , t h e f i e l d n o t e s a r e p r e s e n t e d i n t h e i r e n t i r e t y , w i t h m i n o r changes f o r g r a m m a t i c a l e r r o r s . The re a r e a few i n s t a n c e s where a word o r two h a s been changed i n t h e i n t e r e s t o f g r e a t e r c l a r i t y . I n s e v e r a l p l a c e s t h e f i e l d n o t e s were r e f l e c t e d upon and e x p a n d e d . As i n t h e f o r e g o i n g c h a p t e r , my p r e s e n t a t i o n i n c o r p o r a t e s my commentary . A) MAlAN-The f i r s t s a g a n , m a i a n , o c c u r r e d i n t h e e a r l y e v e n i n g , a t D a r s h a n ' s p a r e n t ' s home. I t i s a r i t u a l e v e n t s p o n s o r e d and b r o u g h t by t h e m a t e r n a l l i n e a g e t o t h e home o f t h e b r i d e - t o - b e . A k i n s h i p c h a r t i s shown i n F i g u r e I, t h e c a s t o f c h a r a c t e r s , i n F i g u r e I I I . - 65 -The S c e n e : The a c t i o n i s s e t i n t h e k i t c h e n o f a r u r a l f a r m house w h i c h i s e n t e r e d f r o m a p o r c h a t t h e b a c k o f t h e h o u s e . T h i s room a l s o s e r v e s as t h e d i n i n g room. I n a c o r n e r , u n d e r a l a r g e w indow, i s s e t a ' n o o k ' c o n s i s t i n g o f a c u r v e d b l u e p l a s t i c - u p h o l s t e r y c o v e r e d , h i g h - b a c k e d s e a t , i n f r o n t o f w h i c h i s s e t a s i m i l a r l y c u r v e d t a b l e . The window f a c e s t h e d r i v e w a y , b e y o n d w h i c h t h e r a s p b e r r y f i e l d s w i t h t h e i r 4 x 4 p o s t s and heavy s u p p o r t i n g w i r e s , c a n be s e e n . A t t h e r i g h t end o f t h e d r i v e w a y i s an o l d g a r a g e . A g a i n s t t h e o p p o s i t e w a l l f r o m t h e ' n o o k ' i s t h e e l e c t r i c s t o v e . A g a i n s t an a d j a c e n t i n s i d e w a l l i s t h e r e f r i g e r a t o r . A r i g h t - a n g l e d c o u n t e r s p a c e w i t h c u p b o a r d s b e l o w i t , j o i n s t h e s t o v e and r e f r i g e r a t o r . A l o n g an o u t s i d e w a l l o p p o s i t e t h e r e f r i g e r a t o r i s a n o t h e r w indow, u n d e r w h i c h t h e r e i s a s h o r t c o u n t e r s p a c e w i t h a d o u b l e s i n k and d r a i n b o a r d . From t h i s window one c a n s e e t h e o l d w e e p i n g w i l l o w t r e e i n t h e b a c k y a r d , and o u t o n t o t h e s t r a w b e r r y f i e l d s b e y o n d . I n t h e d i s t a n c e , t h e C a s c a d e M o u n t a i n Range c a n ' b e s e e n , r i s i n g o u t o f t h e f o o t h i l l s . Under t h e s i n k , t h e r e a r e more c u p b o a r d s , one w i t h g l a s s d o o r s , h o l d s t h e f i n e c h i n a . On t o p o f t h i s i s t h e t e l e p h o n e , w i t h i n e a s y r e a c h o f t h e ' n o o k ' . The w a l l b e s i d e t h e r e f r i g e r a t o r i s open i n t o t he f r o n t room w h i c h has a c o r n e r f i r e p l a c e , and l a r g e windows l o o k i n g o u t i n t o a l a r g e e n c l o s e d f r o n t y a r d . D a r s h a n , h e r mo the r G u r d i a l , h e r s i s t e r S u r j i t , who has j u s t r e t u r n e d f r om h e r j o b i n a n e i g h b o u r i n g t o w n , and I a r e i n t h e k i t c h e n . We have j u s t f i n i s h e d t h e e v e n i n g m e a l t h a t was p r e p a r e d e a r l i e r i n t h e d a y , and D a r s h a n and h e r s i s t e r have g o t up t o c l e a r t h e t a b l e and t o wash t h e - 66 -d i s h e s . G u r d i a l and I a r e t a l k i n g . ( A r j u n i s a t w o r k , on n i g h t s h i f t f o r t h i s w e e k ) . MAIAN  CAST OF CHARACTERS D a r s h a n - t h e b r i d e - t o - b e S u r j i t - h e r y o u n g e r s i s t e r G u r d i a l - m o t h e r o f D a r s h a n and S u r j i t A r j u n - D a r s h a n ' s f a t h e r M a s i - j i - G u r d i a l ' s m o t h e r and g r a n d m o t h e r t o D a r s h a n and S u r j i t D a r s h a n ' s M o t h e r ' s b r o t h e r - h e r mama D a r s h a n ' s M o t h e r ' s s i s t e r - h e r m a s i K u l d i p - t h e n a r r a t o r , D a r s h a n ' s ' a u n t ' (pooah) (FFyBD) F i g u r e IV I n t h i s s e t t i n g my j o u r n a l d a t e d A p r i l 1 5 , 1 9 8 1 , 7 p . m . r e c o r d s : I t i s 7 p . m . , M a s i - j i (DMM), D a r s h a n ' s m a s i (DMZ), and h e r mama (DMyB), e n t e r t h r o u g h t h e k i t c h e n d o o r o f t h e f a rmhouse w i t h a p o t , t h e h a n d l e o f w h i c h was t i e d w i t h a c o u r s e r e d t h r e a d . As t h e y e n t e r , t h e r e a r e warm g r e e t i n g s , l a u g h t e r and t e a s i n g , I r i s e and t a k e a - 67 -p h o t o g r a p h o f t h e t h r e e o f t hem. They s a y t h e y have b r o u g h t a s a g a n o f m a i a n , f o r t h e b r i d e - t o - b e . I t i s a p o t f u l l o f Koa (swimming i n b u t t e r ) , w i t h chopped a lmonds a n d r a i s i n s . Koa i s made w i t h r i c h c ream w h i c h i s c o o k e d o v e r v e r y s l o w h e a t f o r many h o u r s ( e i g h t h o u r s f o r t h i s p o t f u l , a c c o r d i n g t o M a s i - j i ) . I t t u r n s a r i c h medium brown and becomes q u i t e t h i c k , a l m o s t g r a n u l a r . S u g a r , a l m o n d s , and b u t t e r a r e added t o t h a t . B e f o r e we e a t t h e K o a , my ' n i e c e s ' ( F e B y S D ' s ) and t h e i r m a s i go t o t h e k i t c h e n s t o v e and t u r n t h e h e a t on u n d e r t h e g r i d d l e and t h e p o t o f d a l . D a r s h a n g e t s t h e d i s h e s , on w h i c h t h e d i n n e r w i l l be s e r v e d t o t h e g u e s t s . S u r j i t t a k e s t h e dough and makes i t i n t o l i t t l e b a l l s w h i c h a r e p l a c e d on a p l a t e o f f l o u r t o p r e v e n t them f r o m s t i c k i n g . H e r m a s i t a k e s one a t a t i m e and r o l l s i t o u t w i t h a r o l l i n g p i n , t h e n , p l a c i n g i t on t h e p a l m o f h e r h a n d , e n l a r g e s i t by ' q u i c k l y p a s s i n g i t f r o m p a l m t o p a l m w i t h a s l a p p i n g s o u n d . Once t h e dough h a s expanded t o t he r i g h t s i z e , i t i s p l a c e d on t h e h e a t e d g r i d d l e where i t i s p a r t i a l l y c o o k e d . Then i t i s t r a n s f e r r e d t o a r a c k p l a c e d o v e r a h o t b u r n e r . H e r e , a s e a c h r o t i ( u n l e a v e n e d b r e a d ) p u f f s u p , i t i s removed and b u t t e r e d . T h e r e i s f r i e n d l y b a n t e r i n g be tween t h e young women as t h e y work t o g e t h e r t o p r e p a r e t h e m e a l . They j o k e a b o u t t h e i r t r a d i t i o n a l r o l e s as m a s i ( M Z ) / p a t h e j i a ( Z D ' s ) ( t h a t i s , as ' a u n t and n i e c e s ' ) , and t h e i r a c t u a l e v e r y d a y r o l e s a s age - 68 -mates who have a t t e n d e d s c h o o l t o g e t h e r . They a r e e x t r e m e l y f o n d o f one a n o t h e r , c a l l i n g on t h e p h o n e , t r a v e l l i n g t o and f r o m s c h o o l s , j o b s , s h o p p i n g 2 t o g e t h e r , and I t h i n k s h a r i n g many c o n f i d e n c e s . They go i n t o g a l e s o f l a u g h t e r , c l a p t h e i r hands i n amusement , and c o n s t a n t l y t e a s e one a n o t h e r , as t h e y p r e p a r e t h e f o o d . Once a s u f f i c i e n t number o f r o t i ' s have been p r e p a r e d and t h e d a l i s h o t , t h e f o o d i s s e r v e d t o t h e t h r e e v i s i t o r s f r o m n a n k e . As w e l l as t h e r o t i and d a l , t h e r e i s a c h a r (mango and p l um p i c k l e s ) , and a p l a t e o f q u a r t e r e d t o m a t o e s . Wa te r i s s e r v e d t o t h e t h r e e h a v i n g t h e m e a l . I t h i n k t h i s m e a l i s s e r v e d w i t h more 3 t h a n t h e u s u a l f o r m a l i t y . M e a n w h i l e , D a r s h a n has p u t t h e w a t e r on f o r t e a , and a f t e r i t b o i l s , adds t h e t e a . L a t e r , a d d i n g m i l k and s u g a r t o i t , she l e t s i t s immer f o r a few m i n u t e s . Then t h e t e a a n d s m a l l b o w l s o f Koa a r e s e r v e d t o e a c h o f u s . A f t e r we had e a c h e a t e n t h e Koa and d r a n k t h e swee t I n d i a n t e a , we s a t and' t a l k e d . S o o n , M a s i - j i r o s e , and as t h e y were a b o u t t o l e a v e , she t r a n s f e r r e d most o f t h e K o a , and t h e r e d t h r e a d s i g n i f y i n g s a g a n , t o one o f G u r d i a l ' s p o t s . A s m a l l p o r t i o n o f t h e Koa was l e f t i n M a s i - j i ' s p o t . I was t o l d t h a t i t was i m p o r t a n t t o r e t u r n some t o t h e g i v e r ( abou t 1/2 cup was r e t u r n e d ) . I n a d d i t i o n , G u r d i a l r e t u r n e d a g i f t o f s i x o r a n g e s t o h e r p a r e n t s home (her p a k e ) . - 69 -A g a i n t h e r e i s r e f e r e n c e t o t h e s p a t i a l a d a p t a t i o n s i n C a n a d a . D a r s h a n ' s m a t e r n a l g r a n d p a r e n t ' s house i s r e f e r r e d t o as h e r n a n k e . They s a i d t h e m a i a n t h e s a g a n came f r o m n a n k e . And t h e s a g a n was o v e r . F o r t h i s f a m i l y i t c o n s i s t e d o f g i v i n g t h e r i t u a l f o o d t o t h e b r i d e - t o - b e and t o e a t i n t h e company o f members o f t h e two l i n e a g e s , t h e m a t e r n a l g r a n d p a r e n t a l and t h e p a r e n t a l s i d e s . A f t e r t h e s a g a n was c o m p l e t e d , M a s i - j i and h e r s o n and d a u g h t e r l e f t f o r t h e i r own home. G u r d i a l , D a r s h a n , S u r j i t and I t a l k e d f o r some t i m e and t h e n i t was d e c i d e d t h a t G u r d i a l w o u l d show me t h e t r o u s s e a u . I t w i l l be shown t o t h e g h a r t h e a b o r d e a (women o f t h e h o u s e , i . e . l i n e a g e ) d u r i n g t h e r i t u a l b a t h i n g o f t h e b r i d e on t h e eve o f h e r -wedd ing . G u r d i a l e x p l a i n e d t h a t i f we , t h e f a m i l y , l o o k e d a t i t t o n i g h t we w o u l d be a b l e t o s e e e v e r y t h i n g more l e i s u r e l y . G u r d i a l opened t h e t r u n k as D a r s h a n , S u r j i t and I s a t on t h e bed and w a t c h e d . I n t h e t r a y - l i k e p a r t o f t h e t r u n k a r e t h e s m a l l e r i t e m s s u c h as t h e c o s m e t i c s , s o a p , s l i p p e r s and l i n g e r i e . T h e r e i s a s u r m a d a n i , a s m a l l o r n a t e c o n t a i n e r f o r powdered k o h l , o r surma as i t i s known i n P u n j a b i . When we h a d s e e n t h e s e i t e m s , t h e t r a y - l i k e s e c t i o n was s e t a s i d e and a l a r g e p a r c e l w rapped i n w h i t e c o t t o n was l i f t e d o u t and u n w r a p p e d . I t i s t h e w e d d i n g gown, a f u s c h i a - c o l o u r e d l a n g a , a t w o - p i e c e l o n g d r e s s w i t h a t u n i c - t o p , s k i r t and s h a w l . G u r d i a l e x p l a i n e d t h a t she had t a k e n i t t o I n d i a - 70 -where i t was h e a v i l y o rnamen ted w i t h p i n k and b l u e t r a p u n t o - l i k e work and w i t h g o l d e m b r o i d e r y . The t u r b a n m a t e r i a l f o r t h e groom was d y e d i n I n d i a t o ma tch t h e w e d d i n g gown. T h e r e were many o t h e r c l o t h e s , a b l a z e r , s e v e r a l h o u s e c o a t s and n i g h t g o w n s , many s a r i s and 4 f o r t y ' s u i t s ' . As w e l l , t h e r e were a l l o f t h e l i n e n s w h i c h make up t h e t r o u s s e a u c a l l e d t h e d e h j . The g o l d and d iamond j e w e l r y was i n t h e s a f e t y d e p o s i t box so c o u l d n o t be d i s p l a y e d t o n i g h t . D a r s h a n e x p l a i n e d e a r l i e r : Mom and Dad gave me a d iamond s e t , a n e c k l a c e , r i n g and e a r r i n g s ; a g o l d n e c k l a c e and g o l d b a n g l e s ; e a r r i n g s ; a w a t c h and a n o t h e r f i n e g o l d c h a i n , as w e l l as t h e c l o t h e s . They gave me a l l t h a t w i t h l o v e and t h e y ' r e g o i n g t o g e t me a c a r . T h e r e a r e many p a i r s o f s h o e s and p u r s e s . D a r s h a n ' s mo the r has made a s m a l l ' m a n y - c o l o u r e d b a s k e t f o r h e r . From I n d i a , t h e r e a r e two handwoven s h e e t s , b l o c k p r i n t e d w i t h a n i m a l d e s i g n s . A c o t t o n hand-made d h u r i e , and a l o v e l y p h u l k a r i ( s h a w l ) . These l a t t e r two i t e m s a r e h a r d t o g e t now; few women i n I n d i a make them anymore . M a s i - j i h a d e x p l a i n e d t o me e a r l i e r : I n t h e v i l l a g e s now t h e r e i s n ' t a p h u l k a r i t o be f o u n d . T r a d e r s go i n t o t h e v i l l a g e s w i t h a luminum ware and t r a d e w i t h t h e women; t h e c l o t h s f o r t h e p o t s . No one makes them anymore - 71 -- t h e r e i s v e r y l i t t l e c o t t o n p l a n t e d now r - who needs i t - no one hand looms anymore . A f t e r I h a d been shown t h e d e h j , I was shown t h e g r o o m ' s b a r r e ( i . e . t r o u s s e a u ) w h i c h i n c l u d e s h i s g i f t s t o h i s b r i d e . As w e l l as h i s own c l o t h i n g he had b r o u g h t a number o f b r i d a l s a r i s and ' s u i t s ' f o r D a r s h a n . One g o l d ' s e t ' k was h i s g i f t o f j e w e l r y f o r h e r . Darshanfe mami made a gauna f o r H a r j i t , i t i s a m u l t i - s t r a n d e d t i e w h i c h a s i s t e r u s u a l l y t i e s on h e r b r o t h e r ' s w r i s t t h e n i g h t b e f o r e h i s s h a d i . G u r d i a l h a s a l s o p u r c h a s e d s p e c i a l a l t a r c l o t h s f o r t h e w e d d i n g c e l e b r a t i o n . F o r Guru Ka Gha r ( the house o f t h e G u r u ) , t h e t e m p l e , she e x p l a i n e d , t h e r e were t h e r e d r u m a l ( the l a r g e c e n t e r c l o t h ) and two m a t c h i n g p u l k a ( s i d e p a n e l s ) , f r o m I n d i a . These a r e o rnamen ted w i t h w i d e bands o f g o l d t i n s e l a l l a r o u n d t h e b o r d e r . I n t h e c e n t e r o f t h e r u m a l i s t h e s y m b o l (Ik Om K a r ) . a n d f a c i n g i n t o e a c h c o r n e r i s a n o t h e r s y m b o l w i t h a c r e s c e n t - l i k e shape and a d a g g e r - l i k e o b j e c t . The r u m a l i s u s e d t o c o v e r t h e Gu ru G r a n t h S a h i b and p u l k a a r e p l a c e d one on e i t h e r s i d e , on t h e day o f t h e w e d d i n g . The c l o t h s a r e a d o n a t i o n t o t h e t e m p l e . A t e l e v e n p .m . we went t o b e d , p l a n n i n g t o r i s e e a r l y t h e n e x t m o r n i n g t o go t o V a n c o u v e r t o s h o p . We made a number o f s t o p s , f i r s t , s h o p p i n g f o r c l o t h e s and y a r d g o o d s , t o be g i v e n as g i f t s , t h e n f o r g r o c e r i e s f o r - 72 -t h e l a n g a r ( t emp le f e a s t ) . On t h e way home we s t o p p e d t o d e l i v e r a g i f t o f c l o t h i n g t o an o l d e r ' a u n t ' o f o u r l i n e a g e . T h i s g i f t i s o b l i g a t o r y ( t o a FZ o r a FFZ) on t h e w e d d i n g o f a young ' n i e c e ' . We a r r i v e d b a c k a t t h e f a r m m i d - a f t e r n o o n , e a r l y enough f o r me t o make t h e r e t u r n t r i p t o my home i n V a n c o u v e r . I have f o u n d t h a t t h e r e t u r n t o V a n c o u v e r f o r a few days h e l p s me t o d i s t a n c e m y s e l f f r om t h e f i e l d work s e t t i n g . As an i n s i d e r a s w e l l , I f e e l t h a t t o g e t away f r om t h e s e t t i n g f o r a day o r two h e l p s me t o m a i n -t a i n my o b j e c t i v i t y a n d t o s e e t h e c o n t r a s t s more c l e a r l y . T h r e e days l a t e r , I d r o v e b a c k o u t t o t h e f a r m , a r r i v i n g i n t i m e t o h e l p move f u r n i t u r e t o make room f o r D a r s h a n ' s new c h e s t e r f i e l d s u i t e , a g i f t f r o m h e r n a n k e . 7 B) P A L I A r i t u a l g i v i n g o f s w e e t s t o t h e nanke ( m a t e r n a l g r a n d p a r e n t s ) t o g i v e f o r m a l n o t i c e o f t h e w e d d i n g d a t e o f t h e i r g r a n d c h i l d . The S c e n e : The a c t i o n t a k e s p l a c e i n t h e f a m i l y f a r m house k i t c h e n a s d e s c r i b e d i n S c e n e A . As one e n t e r s t h e b a c k d o o r , t h e f l o o r o f t h e h a l l i s c o v e r e d w i t h b o x e s o f g r o c e r i e s , bags o f s u g a r , f l o u r , , s p i c e s and many o t h e r i t e m s . T h e r e i s an a i r o f e x c i t e m e n t as t h e f r o n t d o o r - 73 -i s o p e n e d . Two men e n t e r c a r r y i n g a new c h e s t e r f i e l d . They r e t u r n t o t h e m o v i n g v a n p a r k e d i n t h e d r i v e w a y and r e t u r n w i t h two m a t c h i n g c h a i r s . G u r d i a l and I q u i c k l y move t h e c o f f e e t a b l e s and t h e TV t o make room f o r t h e new f u r n i t u r e . G u r d i a l i s w o r r y i n g a b o u t d e l i v e r y i n g t h e p a l i , a s a g a n , t o h e r p a r e n t s home, t h a t i s t o D a r s h a n ' s n a n k e . P A L I CAST OF CHARACTERS G u r d i a l D a r s h a n S u r j i t A r j u n K u l d i p A number o f o t h e r p e o p l e a r e a r o u n d t h e h o u s e . The m o v i n g men f r om t h e f u r n i t u r e s t o r e come i n , d e l i v e r t h e m e r c h a n d i s e and l e a v e . The nana ( m a t e r n a l g r a n d -f a t h e r ) and a young ma le r e l a t i v e a r r i v e t o i n s p e c t t h e d e l i v e r e d i t e m s , and t h e y l e a v e . F i g u r e V - 74 -My f i e l d n o t e s o f A p r i l 2 0 , 1 9 8 1 : As G u r d i a l and I w o r k e d she s a i d t h a t she has y e t t o t a k e t h e p a l i ( s u g a r , o r swee ts ) t o t h e N a n k e . She e x p l a i n e d t h a t t h i s i s a s h o r t s a g a n w h i c h o c c u r s when t h e f a m i l y o f t h e b r i d e g i v e f o r m a l n o t i c e t o t h e Nanke o f t h e w e d d i n g d a t e . She s a i d t h a t i n I n d i a t h i s i s done a b o u t s i x weeks p r i o r t o t h e day o f t h e s h a d i , b u t t h a t i n Canada n i n e t o e l e v e n 8 d a y s i s s u f f i c i e n t . When I e n q u i r e d f u r t h e r , I was t o l d t h i s p e r i o d o f t i m e i s u s e d by t h e nanke t o have t h e b r i d e ' s g o l d j e w e l r y and ' s u i t s ' made i n t i m e f o r t h e w e d d i n g . L a t e r , I l e f t t h e f a r m house f o r a few houars. When I r e t u r n e d , G u r d i a l s a i d she had t a k e n t h e p a l i t o h e r p a r e n t s home. She s a i d she had a s k e d h e r mo the r t o a c c e p t a box o f c h o c o l a t e s i n p l a c e o f t h e t r a d i t i o n a l s w e e t s , b u t was t o l d n o , t h a t a b a g o f s u g a r w o u l d be more a p p r o p r i a t e . ( M a s i - j i i s t h e e n f o r c e r o f t h e t r a d i t i o n s . ) S i n c e I d i d n o t see t h i s e v e n t , I c a n n o t comment on t h e a c t i v i t i e s w h i c h t o o k p l a c e , more t h a n t o s a y t h a t no o t h e r i n f o r m a t i o n was r e l a y e d t o me a b o u t t h e s a g a n . I n t h i s c a s e i t was o n l y a f o r m a l i t y s i n c e t h e nanke knew t h a t t h e wedd ing was g o i n g t o t a k e p l a c e - t h e y had b r o u g h t t h e g r o o m - t o - b e w i t h them f rom I n d i a , and h a d p r e p a r e d many o f t h e g i f t i t e m s w h i l e t h e y were t h e r e . The w e d d i n g t a k e s p l a c e f i v e d a y s f r om now, s o v e r y l i t t l e f o r m a l ' n o t i c e ' i s b e i n g g i v e n s i n c e i t i s u n n e c e s s a r y . - 75 -The b a c k h a l l o f t h e house i s f u l l o f b o x e s o f g r o c e r i e s f o r t h e f o o d s t o be p r e p a r e d f o r t h e w e d d i n g . I a s k i f I c a n l i s t them - my f a m i l y l o o k a t me i n w o n d e r , b u t a g r e e t h a t I c a n - so t h e y h e l p me t o r e c o r d i t (see F i g u r e V I ) . I f e e l g r a t e f u l f o r t h e h e l p , t h e y know now t h a t I am r e c o r d i n g t h e e v e n t s o f t h e w e d d i n g , I have f o u n d i t i m p o r t a n t t o t e l l them i n o r d e r t o have t h e a c c e s s I w a n t . A l s o t h e q u e s t i o n s I a s k need a c o n t e x t , s i n c e t h e y a r e n ' t a l w a y s t a k e n s e r i o u s l y . To my r e q u e s t my c o u s i n - b r o t h e r (A r jun ) s a i d , " g o o d , i n f u t u r e we w i l l have a c h e c k l i s t " . No one h a s y e t made up s u c h a l i s t , I f e e l t h a t my b e i n g a n u i s a n c e w i l l , a f t e r a l l , be o f some v a l u e . The g r o c e r i e s w i l l be t a k e n t o t h e t e m p l e k i t c h e n . G u r d i a l h a s begun t o t e l e p h o n e t h e women who l i v e i n t h e l o w e r m a i n l a n d , t o fo rm t h e work p a r t i e s f o r t h e f o o d p r e p a r a t i o n . The i n v i t a t i o n i s s e n t t o t h e women who a r e ' g h a r t h e a b o r d e a ' , (women o f t h e h o u s e , i . e . l i n e a g e ) . T h i s i n v i t a t i o n i s somet imes c a l l e d n e o n d a , a c o n c e p t w h i c h e n t a i l s r e c i p r o c a l e x c h a n g e . I have been t o l d t h a t i n I n d i a , when a neonda ' c o m e s ' , i t means t h a t t h e c l o s e s t r e l a t i v e s ( t he e x t e n d e d f a m i l y , t h e p a t r i -l i n e a l d e s c e n t g roup ) g e t t o g e t h e r , a n d t h e y a p p o r t i o n t h e c o s t o f t h e w e d d i n g ( the m e a l s , s w e e t s , some g i f t s , and common e x p e n s e s ) a c c o r d i n g t o t h e means and a b i l i t y o f t h e members , t o a s s i s t w i t h t h e n e c e s s a r y l a b o u r , money o r g o o d s . L a t e r , as e a c h r e q u i r e s s i m i l a r a s s i s t a n c e , t h e o t h e r s r e c i p r o c a t e . - 76 -THE GROCERY L I S T FOR A CANADIAN PUNJABI SIKH WEDDING B u t t e r - 400 l b s . Suga r 400 l b s . F l o u r 400 l b s . who le whea t 100 l b s . w h i t e Powdered M i l k 4 p k g s . @2.5 k g . . P e a F l o u r 200 l b s . C r i s c o 6 t i n s @ 3 l b s . R i c e , l o n g g r a i n 4 k g . S a l t 4 k g . One s k e i n c o a r s e r e d t h r e a d One b a r I v o r y soap Orange d r i n k 1 - 48 o z . c a n Orange n e c t a r 1 - 48 o z . c a n I c i n g s u g a r 2 b o x e s C a t s u p 6 b o t t l e s T e t l e y T e a - 4 p k g s . @ 144 t e a bags P a p e r bags - 400 N a p k i n s - 800 D i s h d e t e r g e n t (soap) 2 l a r g e K o o l A i d - 12 p k g s . @ 48 o z . T o i l e t P a p e r - 4 r o l l s P a p e r t o w e l s - 2 r o l l s V e g e t a b l e o i l - 4 - 3 l i t r e t i n s Mahn - 30 l b s . C h o l a ( d a l ) 5 l b s . K a b l i c h o l i 48 - 19 o z . t i n s Mung i - 10 l b s . Tomatoes - 2 t i n s @ 48 o z . Tomato s a u c e - 2 l a r g e t i n s 150 l b s . p o t a t o e s 3 s a c k s @ 50 l b s . o n i o n s (These g r o c e r i e s w i l l f e e d app: F i g u r e B u t t e r m i l k 100 l b s S o u r c ream 3 g a l l o n s M i l k 100 l b s SOS pads - 2 bags D e t e r g e n t 2 b o t t l e s more Wax P a p e r Garbage Bags 1 p a c k a g e P a p e r p l a t e s and c u p s - 300 G i n g e r - 4 l b s . G r e e n P e p p e r - 6 l b s . Red P e p p e r - 6 l b s . ( c h i l l i powder) C u r r y Powder - 6 l b s . ( h a l d i ) M u s s a l a 6 l b s . Caraway s e e d 1 l b . Food c o l o u r 1 p k g . r e d , g r e e n , b l u e Cardamom Seed - 4 o z . O r i s w a t e r 7 o z . S i l v e r l e a v e s 2 p k g s . P i s t a c h i o s 6 o z . T a m a r i n d 2 l b s . R a i s i n s 2 l b s . A d d i t i o n a l P u r c h a s e s : V e g e t a b l e O i l 6 - 3 l i t r e t i n s P o t a t o e s - 50 l b s . Powdered M i l k 1 - 2 . 5 k g . G reen o n i o n s 4 bunches C h i n e s e P a r s l e y - 3 bunches 350 p e o p l e ) - 77 -I n C a n a d a , t h e r e i s r e c i p r o c a l e x c h a n g e , b u t i t a p p e a r s t o me t o have become more n a r r o w l y d e f i n e d . The m a j o r c o s t o f t h e w e d d i n g i s b o r n e by t h e p a r e n t s o f t h e b r i d e - t o - b e . He r g r a n d p a r e n t s (nanke o r dadke) may h e l p i f t h e y a r e i n C a n a d a . I f t h e m o t h e r ' s b r o t h e r s and t h e f a t h e r ' s b r o t h e r s a r e i n C a n a d a , and i f t h e y have good r e l a t i o n s w i t h t h e f a m i l y , t h e y t o o w i l l h e l p . U s u a l l y a c a s h c o n t r i b u t i o n i s made t o w a r d t h e c o s t o f t h e t e m p l e m e a l s , and h e l p i s p r o v i d e d i n t h e p r e p a r a t i o n o f t h e f o o d , a n d l a t e r t o s e r v e t h e m e a l s . The w e d d i n g g i f t becomes t h e ma in i t e m o f exchange i n C a n a d a . The r e c e i v e r i s a l w a y s c o g n i z a n t o f t h e s i z e and a p p r o x i m a t e v a l u e o f t h e g i f t and i n f u t u r e w i l l r e s p o n d w i t h one o f s i m i l a r v a l u e . N e o n d a , i n C a n a d a , i s t h u s an i n v i t a t i o n t o l i n e a g e members, o t h e r t h a n t h e immed ia te k i n s w o m e n , t o h e l p w i t h t h e l a b o u r r e q u i r e m e n t s f o r t h e f o o d p r e p a r a t i o n . ^ The r e l a t i v e s who answe red t h e c a l l were t h o s e women who were home,and who were f r e e t o come on t h a t p a r t i c u l a r d a y . 1 0 I d i d n o t c h e c k t o s e e w h i c h r e l a t i v e s came more f r e q u e n t l y t h a n o t h e r s , b u t I do know t h a t t h e o l d e r women came a l m o s t e v e r y day (o f t h e t h r e e d a y s r e q u i r i n g t h e h e a v i e s t l a b o u r ) . The women o f t h e p a t r i l i n e came e v e r y d a y i f t h e y c o u l d , and i f t h e y l i v e d i n t h e F r a s e r V a l l e y . O t h e r s , who were f i c t i v e k i n o r v e r y d i s t a n t r e l a t i v e s who a r e few i n number , a r e u s u a l l y i n v i t e d and a t t e n d i f t h e y c a n . The women o f t h e n a n k e , i n t h i s c a s e , came e v e r y d a y . Some women were n o t c a l l e d , p e r h a p s b e c a u s e o f s t r a i n e d r e l a t i o n s be tween - 78 -them and o t h e r s who h a d p r i o r i t y and w e r e , t h e r e f o r e c a l l e d f i r s t . The f i e l d n o t e s c o n t i n u e : Those women who d r i v e c a r s w i l l b r i n g a e a r f u l , p i c k i n g up t h o s e a l o n g t h e i r r o u t e s who need a l i f t . T h i s r e l i e v e s t h e s p o n s o r i n g f a m i l y o f a good d e a l o f t r a v e l . I n t h e p a s t , when few women d r o v e c a r s , t h e l o g i s t i c s o f t r a v e l were a g r e a t b u r d e n t o t h e f a m i l y s p o n s o r i n g t h e p h o g . Howeve r , now t h e r e a r e d i s a g r e e m e n t s a b o u t g e t t i n g l i f t s . The d i v i s i o n o f l a b o u r a t t h e work p a r t i e s i s t h a t t h e women do t h e work o f c o o k i n g t h e foods."'""'" The few men who a r e n o t w o r k i n g a t t h e i r f u l l - t i m e employment t h a t d a y , o r a r e unemp loyed o r s e l f - e m p l o y e d , a s s i s t by s h o p p i n g f o r , p i c k i n g u p , and d e l i v e r i n g f o o d s o r o t h e r i t e m s t h e women may n e e d . I n two days t i m e we w i l l go t o t h e t e m p l e t o p r e p a r e t h e f o o d s t o be d i s t r i b u t e d and u s e d f o r t h e w e d d i n g . C) GURDWARE LADDU, PAKORIA PAKORN JARNA  F o o d P r e p a r a t i o n a t t h e Temple The S c e n e : The a c t t a k e s p l a c e a t t h e t e m p l e . The women, h a v i n g b a t h e d - 79 -and d r e s s e d v e r y e a r l y t h i s m o r n i n g , g a t h e r t o p r e p a r e t h e f o o d s f o r t h e w e d d i n g c e l e b r a t i o n . T h e r e i s a v e r y b r i e f r i t e , w h i c h c o n s i s t s o f G u r d i a l t y i n g c o a r s e r e d c o t t o n t h r e a d o n t o t h e w r i s t o f e a c h woman who a t t e n d s t h i s f u n c t i o n . T h i s t i e i s t o be k e p t on f o r f i v e weeks and t h e n u n t i e d , n o t b r o k e n . The k i n s h i p c h a r t shown as F i g u r e I may be r e f e r r e d t o f o r t h i s r i t u a l . F i g u r e VII shows t h e c a s t o f c h a r a c t e r s . FOOD PREPARATION AT THE TEMPLE CAST OF CHARACTERS G u r d i a l M a s i - j i D a r s h a n ' s t h r e e mamian (MBW) D a r s h a n ' s mas i (MZ) D a r s h a n ' s F a t h e r ' s S i s t e r ( F Z ) , h e r pooah D a r s h a n ' s F a t h e r ' s F a t h e r ' s B r o t h e r ' s D a u g h t e r (FFBD) h e r p o o a h , K u l d i p I n a l l , t h e r e a r e a b o u t t h i r t y - f i v e women p r e s e n t , f r o m G u r d i a l ' s f a t h e r ' s l i n e a g e and t h e l i n e a g e o f h e r h u s b a n d . Some o f t h e women, a v e r y f e w , a r e c l o s e f r i e n d s who a r e r e l a t e d as ' f i c t i v e k i n ' . A few men, a b o u t f i v e i n a l l , come and go d u r i n g t h e d a y . They h e l p w i t h t h e h e a v i e r work o f l o a d i n g and u n l o a d i n g t h e g r o c e r i e s o r p r e p a r e d f o o d s . They t o o a r e r e l a t i v e s . F i g u r e V I I - 80 -From my j o u r n a l o f A p r i l 22, 1981: Today i s t h e f i r s t day o f c o o k i n g a t t h e t e m p l e . A t e i g h t o ' c l o c k i n t h e m o r n i n g when I a r r i v e , t h e r e a r e t e n women a l r e a d y i n t h e k i t c h e n . The f i r s t b a t c h o f l a d d u a r e r e a d y t o s q u e e z e t o g e t h e r i n t o l i t t l e b a l l s . As I e n t e r , G u r d i a l t i e s a r e d c o t t o n t h r e a d o n t o my w r i s t . As t h e y w o r k , t h e women a r e s i n g i n g songs c a l l e d g e e t w h i c h a r e s i m i l a r t o b a l l a d s . Some women a r e c o n s u l t i n g e a c h o t h e r a b o u t t h e p r o p e r p r o p o r t i o n s o f i n g r e d i e n t s , s i n c e t h e s e a r e n o t w r i t t e n o u t as r e c i p e s . O t h e r women w a t c h . I n t h e t e m p l e t h e r e a r e two l a r g e rooms i n w h i c h t h e ' c o o k i n g i s d o n e . I n t h e l a r g e s t r oom, t h e r e a r e two g a s b u r n i n g s t o v e s and one l o n g 3 - b u r n e r s t o v e . T h e r e i s a s e t o f l a u n d r y t u b s w i t h l o n g d r a i n b o a r d s on e i t h e r s i d e . A t one end o f t h e room i s a w a s h b a s i n o v e r w h i c h t h e l o o p e d c l o t h t o w e l d i s p e n s e r h a n g s . A l o n g two w a l l s , i n f r o n t o f s e v e r a l s m a l l w i n d o w s , a r e p l a c e d two l o n g t a b l e s w i t h b e n c h e s . They a r e u s e d f o r d i n i n g and t o d a y , a s work t a b l e s a s w e l l . T h e r e a r e l a r g e a luminum p o t s o f d i f f e r e n t s i z e s , and many, many p o t s s u c h as k a r a h i ' s w h i c h a r e s l o p e d - s i d e d f o r deep f r y i n g . T h e r e a r e s m a l l e r p o t s and p a n s , l a r g e s t i r r i n g s p o o n s , l o n g h a n d l e d w i r e s c r e e n s f o r t a k i n g f r i e d f o o d s o u t o f h o t f a t , j u g s f o r s e r v i n g t e a , c u t l e r y , wooden s t i r r i n g p a d d l e s , e t c . - 81 -I n t h e m i d d l e o f t h e f l o o r i s a l a r g e t a b l e on w h i c h t h e i n g r e d i e n t s a r e p l a c e d . These a r e t h e g r o c e r i e s w h i c h have been p u r c h a s e d f o r t h e w e d d i n g c e r e m o n i e s , t h a t i s f o r a l l o f t h e a s s o c i a t e d f u n c t i o n s up t o and i n c l u d i n g t h e day o f t h e s h a d i . The s e c o n d room i s a s t e p l o w e r . I t , t o o , i s e q u i p p e d w i t h l o n g t a b l e s and b e n c h e s and i s u s u a l l y u s e d as a d i n i n g room. T h e r e a r e two o r t h r e e wash b a s i n s w i t h o v e r h a n g i n g l o o p e d c l o t h - t o w e l d i s p e n s e r s . A t t h e f a r end o f t h e r o o m , an a u t o m a t i c c l o t h e s w a s h e r and d r y e r have been i n s t a l l e d . T h e r e a r e t a b l e s r u n n i n g a c r o s s t h e room as w e l l , w i t h b e n c h e s . On one o f t h e s e a r e p i l e d t h e t e a t o w e l s , d u s t c l o t h s , l i n i n g , c l o t h s f o r t h e r o t i p a n s , l a r g e c o t t o n s h e e t - l i k e m u l t i -p u r p o s e c l o t h s , a n d o d d - s h a p e d r a g s . T h e r e a r e s e v e r a l s m a l l w indows i n t h i s room a s w e l l . T h e r e a r e no c o o k i n g f a c i l i t i e s h e r e . The m a i n rooms u s e d f o r c o o k i n g and d i n i n g had been p a i n t e d w h i t e . They a r e c o n s t r u c t e d o f b o a r d w a l l s and cement f l o o r s . S t r i c t l y f u n c t i o n a l , t h e y have m e t a l s h e e t i n g hoods o v e r t h e s t o v e s and l a r g e r o u n d e x h a u s t p i p e s t a k i n g t h e c o o k i n g s m e l l s and smoke o u t s i d e . On t h e w a l l s t h e r e a r e a number o f h a n d w r i t t e n s i g n s i n Gurmukh i s c r i p t : - 82 -These a r e i n s t r u c t i o n s : L a n g a r t h e s e v a s e h r t a k k e k a r o j i , w h i c h i s t o s a y t h a t t h e v o l u n t a r y s e r v i c e o f f o o d s h o u l d be done w i t h t h e h e a d c o v e r e d . T o d a y , t h e f r i e d f o o d s a r e b e i n g p r e p a r e d . Over one s l o p e d - s i d e d p a n , t h r e e women a r e b u s y p r e p a r i n g s m a l l p a k o r i - b i t s . They a r e made o f a p e a f l o u r and w a t e r b a t t e r and a r e t h e b a s e f o r swee t f o o d s . A n o t h e r p o t i s b o i l i n g w i t h a s u g a r / w a t e r s y r u p , i n t o w h i c h o r i s w a t e r i s added f o r f l a v o u r . Once t h e p r o p e r number o f pans f u l l o f p a k o r i a r e p r e p a r e d , t h e p r e m e a s u r e d s y r u p i s added t o them i n a v e r y l a r g e p o t (3Vx20"). T h i s m i x t u r e i s s t i r r e d by one woman w i t h a l o n g wooden p a d d l e u n t i l i t i s o f t h e r i g h t c o n s i s t e n c y . T h i s i s done o v e r and o v e r u n t i l t h e p o t i s f u l l (see I l l u s t r a t i o n I I ) . T h e n , a number o f women c a r r y i t i n t o t h e a d j o i n i n g room and s e t t h e p o t on t h e b e n c h e s . H e r e , women t r a n s f e r t h e m i x t u r e i n t o s m a l l e r p a n s . Two o r t h r e e women t h e n t a k e t h e pan t o one o f t h e t a b l e s , a n d b e g i n t o t a k e h a n d f u l s o f t h e v e r y warm s t i c k y m i x t u r e , f o rm i t i n t o b a l l s by p r e s s i n g i t t o g e t h e r f i r m l y , and t h e n s e t them on t h e t a b l e t o h a r d e n . They a r e c a l l e d l a d d u . On two o t h e r t a b l e s , s i x women a r e e a c h r o l l i n g o u t p a s t r y dough t o 1 / 4 " t h i c k n e s s and c u t t i n g i t i n t o 1" s q u a r e s . These w i l l l a t e r be f r i e d , c o o l e d , and b a t c h e s o f s y r u p made f o r t hem. T h e n , t h e s y r u p i s f i r s t p o u r e d o v e r , and t h e w h o l e l o t i s d u s t e d w i t h i c i n g s u g a r by one woman, as t h e y a r e d r o p p e d o r r a t h e r p u s h e d i n t o a s e c o n d l a r g e pan by a n o t h e r - 83 -ILLUSTRATION I I STIRRING THE LADDU - 84 -woman. Two women a r e needed t o p o u r t h e s u g a r d u s t e d s q u a r e s f r om one pan t o a n o t h e r ; f o u r women do t h i s w o r k . These s q u a r e s , once t h e y have been c o m p l e t e l y c o a t e d w i t h i c i n g s u g a r , a r e c o o l e d o u t - o f - d o o r s . The s q u a r e s a r e s a k r e p a r e o r ko rme . P a r t o f t h e p a s t r y dough i s made i n t o m a t a r , w h i c h a r e s a v o u r y s n a c k s w i t h s p i c e s i n them. They a r e l o n g and t h i n s t r i p s o f f r i e d p a s t r y . Ove r a n o t h e r pan ( 2 ' x l 8 " ) and s q u a t t i n g on t h e f l o o r , t h r e e women a r e m a k i n g dough f o r t h e u n l e a v e n e d p a n c a k e - l i k e b r e a d c a l l e d r o t i s (see I l l u s t r a t i o n I I I ) . O n e woman kneads t h e dough and m i x e s i t , a n o t h e r p o u r s i n t h e m e l t e d b u t t e r , and a t h i r d p o u r s i n t h e w a t e r . The t h r e e - b u r n e r s t o v e has a p o t f u l o f l e n t i l d a l c o o k i n g on i t . T h e r e a r e two k i n d s o f l e n t i l s i n t h e p o t . ( M a s i - j i s a i d t h e y e a c h r e p r e s e n t t h e r e s p e c t i v e t a b a r o f t h e b r i d e and g room. ) A s e c o n d p o t i s f u l l o f h o t t e a , w h i l e t h e t h i r d b u r n e r has a s y r u p c o o k i n g on i t . D u r i n g t h e c o o k i n g , a l o t o f g o s s i p i s e x c h a n g e d , news f r o m I n d i a , a i l m e n t s a r e d i s c u s s e d a d i n f i n i t u m , t h e i r c u r e s , t h e a b i l i t i e s and f a u l t s o f t h e noha ( d a u g h t e r s - i n - l a w ) . The rooms a r e b u r s t i n g w i t h a c t i v i t y and t a l k , l a u g h i n g , t e a s i n g women who c a j o l e e a c h o t h e r t h r o u g h o u t t h e day as t h e y make a l l o f t h e f o o d s . One woman t o l d me t h a t i n I n d i a , t h e women do n o t do a l l o f t h i s w o r k . T h e r e i s a p e r s o n who l o o k s a f t e r t h e m a k i n g o f - 85 -ILLUSTRATION III WOMEN PREPARING FOOD IN THE TEMPLE KITCHEN - 86 -t h e s w e e t s - t h e h a l v a i . H e r e , t h e women l e a r n t o make a l l t h e f o o d s , t h e d i f f e r e n t c a s t e s a r e m i s s e d . T h i s was n o t a c o m p l a i n t as much as a d i f f e r e n c e n o t e d . She added t h a t t h e f o o d p r e p a r a t i o n g i v e s t h e women an o p p o r t u n i t y t o g e t 12 t o g e t h e r . I n a t h i r d s m a l l room t h e r e i s a l a r g e gas s t o v e w i t h a g r i d d l e - l i k e t o p . T h r e e women t a k e t h e r o t i dough i n t o t h i s room. S m a l l b a l l s o f dough a r e t a k e n f r o m t h e m a s s , s h a p e d a n d p u t o n t o a t a b l e d u s t e d w i t h f l o u r . On a n o t h e r p a r t o f t h e t a b l e , two women a r e r o l l i n g t h e b a l l s o u t i n t o t h i n (1/4") r o u n d s w h i c h t h e y expand by p a t t i n g them b a c k and f o r t h be tween t h e i r hands and t h e y a r e t h e n s l a p p e d o n t o t h e s t o v e top._ A n o t h e r woman c o o k s them on t h e u n g r e a s e d g r i d d l e t o p t u r n i n g them o v e r and o v e r t o brown them e v e n l y and t o p r e v e n t f r o m them b u r n i n g . These r o t i s a r e b u t t e r e d , p u t i n t o a c l o t h - l i n e d p o t and t a k e n i n t o t h e l a r g e d i n i n g room. H e r e , t h e women a t work t a k e t u r n s b e i n g s e r v e d a m e a l o f swee t r i c e , d a l , r o t i s and mango p i c k l e s . Tea and w a t e r a r e b o t h s e r v e d . The women e a t i n g r o u p s o f two o r t h r e e . By n o o n , t h e r e a r e a b o u t t h i r t y - f i v e women i n t h e k i t c h e n s . Some c h i l d r e n a r e a l s o t h e r e . The groom i s b r o u g h t i n by h i s 'mama' (DMB), a t a b o u t one p . m . The women, t h u s have t h e i r f i r s t c h a n c e t o i n s p e c t t h e new p e r s o n as he has h i s f i r s t t e m p l e m e a l i n C a n a d a . - 87 -I n t h e a f t e r n o o n we make b a r f i , a m i l k s w e e t , i n t h e s m a l l room where r o t i s a r e made. H e r e , m e l t e d b u t t e r (ghee) i s p u t i n t o a p o t , powdered m i l k i s a d d e d , and t h i s m i x t u r e i s c o o k e d . A t t h e same t i m e a p o t o f s y r u p i s p r e p a r e d and added t o t h e m i l k and b u t t e r m i x t u r e . When i t i s o f t h e r i g h t c o n s i s t e n c y i t i s p o u r e d i n t o l a r g e f l a t a luminum t r a y s . As i t c o o l s , and h a r d e n s , i t i s s p r i n k l e d w i t h chopped p i s t a c h i o n u t s . I a p p l y t h e s i l v e r l e a f t o i t . W h i l e we were m a k i n g t h e b a r f i , one o f t h e women t o l d me who she was - t h a t she was my ' c a c i ' (FyBW). T h e n , r e a l i z i n g t h a t I d i d n o t know who she was she e x p l a i n e d by r e l a t i n g o u r g e n e a l o g i c a l c o n n e c t i o n t h r o u g h a ' g r a n d f a t h e r ' (FFFBS?) who l i v e s i n C a n a d a , t o a g r e a t number o f k i n s m e n i n I n d i a (whom she c o u l d name and I was i n c o m p l e t e i g n o r a n c e o f ) , a n d f i n a l l y t h a t she was m a r r i e d t o t h e y o u n g e r s o n ( F F F B S y S ? ) . Then she ended w i t h t h e l o c a t i o n o f t h e i r house v i s a v i s o u r s i n ou r v i l l a g e i n I n d i a . L a t e r , b e c a u s e I was s t i l l u n c e r t a i n o f t h e c o n n e c t i o n s t h r o u g h w h i c h she and I were r e l a t e d I a s k e d G u r d i a l who r a n t h r o u g h t h e ' c o n n e c t i o n s ' a g a i n . I s t i l l do n o t know, b u t do remember t h e common w a l l we s h a r e w i t h t h e i r house i n o u r v i l l a g e i n I n d i a . L a t e r , as we were w a i t i n g f o r t h e b a r f i t o c o o l , h e r s o n (my ' b r o t h e r ' ) came i n and we me t . He t o l d me he was a t U . B . C . (The women e a g e r l y a s k e d h im t o s t i r t h e p o t o f b a r f i f o r good l u c k ! He d i d , w i t h some embar rassmen t a t t h e a t t e n t i o n . ) I n t h i s way k i n s h i p n e t w o r k s e x p a n d , h o r i z o n t a l l y e n c o m p a s s i n g a g r e a t number o f B . C . S i k h s . - 88 -E v e r y o n e e l s e knew e x a c t l y what o u r r e l a t i o n s h i p i s , and I w i l l l e a r n . T o d a y , a w i d e r a n g e o f t o p i c s a r e d i s c u s s e d by t h e women a t t h e t e m p l e . One g roup was t a l k i n g a b o u t t h e f a c t t h a t t h e men now c o m i n g o v e r t o Canada t o be m a r r i e d a r e more h i g h l y e d u c a t e d , b u t t h a t no one c a n a f f o r d t o s u p p o r t them f o r any l e n g t h o f t i m e and how t h e y must work a t w h a t e v e r j o b s become a v a i l a b l e . I t i s p a r t i c u l a r l y d i f f i c u l t f o r some men t o do t h i s , e s p e c i a l l y ' w h e r e t h e y l e a v e good r e s e a r c h j o b s b e h i n d i n I n d i a . The women seem t o be t r y i n g t o f i n d a j u s t i f i c a t i o n f o r t h e i r p o s i t i o n . T h e r e i s t h e r e a l i z a t i o n t h a t by s e l e c t i n g men who a r e more s u i t a b l e f o r l i f e i n Canada and f o r e d u c a t e d C a n a d i a n women, t h e y a l s o s e l e c t men who a r e n o t r e a d i l y e m p l o y a b l e . These e d u c a t e d men do l o o k f o r work i n t h e i r own f i e l d s , b u t t h e y u s u a l l y c a n n o t f i n d i t . I t h i n k t h i s r e f l e c t s t h e C a n a d i a n j o b m a r k e t , t h e f a c t t h a t o u r e d u c a t i o n s y s t e m s a r e n o t e q u i v a l e n t , d i s c r i m i n a t i o n , and t h e l a c k o f know ledge a b o u t how t o l o o k f o r a j o b . I n any c a s e , t h e newcomers soon f i n d work i n c a n n e r i e s , s a w m i l l s , on f a rms a n d , i n i t i a l l y a t l e a s t , i n o t h e r l a b o u r i n g o c c u p a t i o n s . The n e t w o r k s o f k i n a l r e a d y w o r k i n g soon f i n d a n i c h e f o r t h e newcomer. The women r e c o g n i z e t h e s e r i o u s n e s s o f t h e p r o b l e m . They s a y "wha t c a n we do? They must be r e s p o n s i b l e h o u s e h o l d e r s once t h e y a r e m a r r i e d " . I have n o t t a l k e d t o any o f t h e s e young men, s o I do n o t know t h e i r r e a c t i o n s . F o r some o f them t h e dream o f f u r t h e r e d u c a t i o n i n Canada i s t h w a r t e d by t h e f a c t - 8 9 -t h a t t h e y d i d n o t f o r e s e e t h e d i f f e r e n c e s i n t h e u n i v e r s i t y s y s t e m s w h i c h u s u a l l y mean t h a t an I n d i a n s t u d e n t must f u l f i l a d d i t i o n a l r e q u i r e m e n t s f o r e n t r a n c e , and i n some c a s e s r e p e a t a d e g r e e b e f o r e g o i n g ' o n . U s u a l l y , t h i s f a c t w i l l p r e c l u d e f u r t h e r e d u c a t i o n , s i n c e few p e o p l e h e r e wan t t o s u p p o r t m a r r i e d s o n s - i n - l a w as t h e y ' go t o u n i v e r s i t y . I n - c o m i n g . w i v e s a r e n o t even a l l o w e d t o c o m p l e t e d e g r e e s , i f t h e i r i n - l a w s send f o r them and t h e i r p a s s p o r t s a r e r e a d y . T h e r e i s l i t t l e c o n c e r n a b o u t t h e i r u n f i n i s h e d d e g r e e s . The i n - l a w s h e r e s a y why b o t h e r , t h e y w i l l n o t be n e e d i n g d e g r e e s a t home a n d t h e y w i l l n o t need t o w o r k . A g a i n , t h i s i s a t o p i c f o r f u r t h e r s t u d y ; b u t i t ' s a d e l i c a t e m a t t e r , f o r t h e p e r s o n i n q u i r i n g c a n be a c c u s e d o f p u t t i n g d i s r u p t i v e n o t i o n s i n t o t h e heads o f t h e noha ( d a u g h t e r s - i n - l a w ) . T h i s g a t h e r i n g o f women a t t h e t e m p l e t o d a y i n c l u d e s t h o s e who have j u s t come back f r o m t r i p s t o I n d i a . O f t e n , t h e y a r e t h e ones who c a r r y s a n y a h e , i m p o r t a n t , o f t e n c r u c i a l messages f r o m f a m i l i e s i n I n d i a . Much o f t h e c o m m u n i c a t i o n be tween I n d i a and Canada i s c o n v e y e d by t h e s e t r a v e l l e r s . The message c a r r i e r can c a r r y t h e e m o t i v e t o n e o f t h e message , a s w e l l a s c o n v e y t h e f a c t s more f u l l y t h a n c a n be done t h r o u g h l e t t e r s . The i n f o r m a t i o n i s o f c o u r s e augmented by t h e m e s s e n g e r s own s e n s e o f what he o r she o b s e r v e d t o be h a p p e n i n g i n I n d i a . The r e c e i v e r t h e n has s e v e r a l i n p u t s o u r c e s and t h e message t o s o r t o u t . The message s e n d e r i s o f c o u r s e v e r y s e l e c t i v e a b o u t who i s c h o s e n t o convey what t y p e o f m e s s a g e . - 90 -The s a n y a h a i s a l s o , p e r h a p s , f u r t h e r c l a r i f i c a t i o n o f a l e t t e r m a i l e d e a r l i e r . ' Somet imes a low l e v e l o f l i t e r a c y w i l l n o t a l l o w t h e c o r r e s p o n d e n t t o f u l l y commun ica te e v e r y t h i n g t h a t i s t o be e x p l a i n e d a b o u t a s i t u a t i o n . The women were t a l k i n g a b o u t o u r need t o work a t w h a t e v e r j o b s become a v a i l a b l e w i t h o u t r e g a r d f o r some p a r t i c u l a r s u i t a b i l i t y f o r some j o b ( a g a i n t h e c o n c e r n was w i t h t h e e d u c a t e d men f r o m I n d i a ) . One woman s a i d t h a t i t i s G o d ' s w i l l . She went on - j u s t as i n t h e o c e a n t h e j a n v a r ( a n i m a l s ) e a t e a c h o t h e r , so i t i s w i t h us - we mus t c o m p e t e , f o r work - some become r i c h e r a t t h e expense o f o t h e r s . T h i s l e d . , t o a d i s c u s s i o n o f t h e i l l n e s s o f someone i n t h e communi ty who has been an e x e m p l a r y w o r k e r a l l o f h i s l i f e . Then t h e c o n -v e r s a t i o n t u r n e d t o t h e d i f f e r e n c e s i n t r e a t m e n t f o r v a r i o u s i l l n e s s e s and t h e c o m p a r i s o n o f t r e a t m e n t be tween I n d i a and C a n a d a . A t t h e t e m p l e , t o o , p r o b l e m s a r e made p u b l i c so t h a t i n a p p r o p r i a t e b e h a v i o u r r e c e i v e s t h e n e g a t i v e s a n c t i o n s o f t h e commun i t y . The m i s b e h a v i o r o f a p e r s o n i s made p u b l i c so t h a t i n t h e e v e n t t h a t i t g e t s w o r s e , and i n t e r f e r e n c e by someone o u t s i d e t h e f a m i l y i s r e q u i r e d , t h e r e i s a r e c o r d o f t h e p r e c e d i n g e v e n t s . T h i s was t h e c a s e t o d a y when one woman t o l d us a b o u t t he t r e a t m e n t a young woman was r e c e i v i n g a t t h e hands o f h e r i n - l a w s . T h e r e has b e e n some c e n s o r i n g o f t h e i r b e h a v i o r a l r e a d y . More and more I f e e l t h a t t h e s e t o p i c s a r e made p u b l i c b e c a u s e a c o u p l e c o n s i s t i n g o f t h e w e s t e r n - r a i s e d and - 91 -t h e I n d i a n - r a i s e d , a r e e n c o u n t e r i n g m a r i t a l p r o b l e m s and t h e i r r e s o l u t i o n i s o f g r e a t c o n c e r n . S e v e r a l o f t h e women t a l k e d a b o u t t h e f a c t t h a t t h e y g i v e t h e i r s o n s and d a u g h t e r s a d v i c e t o a c t a c c o r d i n g t o t h e i r p e r c e p t i o n o f t h e i r s i t u a t i o n a f t e r m a r r i a g e . T h a t i s t o s a y , t h a t t h e r e i s t h e hope t h a t t h e y a r e s u c c e s s f u l ; b u t i f n o t , t h e p a r e n t s want t h e c h i l d r e n t o know t h a t t h e r e i s h e l p f r o m b o t h s i d e s o f t h e f a m i l y i f t h e y need i t . The p r o b l e m i s more s e r i o u s f o r a C a n a d i a n S i k h woman g o i n g i n t o t h e h o u s e h o l d o f n e w l y a r r i v e d i n - l a w s who have v e r y t r a d i t i o n a l v i e w s a b o u t t h e r o l e o f a d a u g h t e r - i n - l a w . M o s t o f t h e young women do a t t e m p t t o l i v e up t o e x p e c t a t i o n s , b u t a t g r e a t p s y c h i c c o s t and i n many c a s e s t h e r e s o l u t i o n i s f o u n d i n e s t a b l i s h i n g s e p a r a t e n u c l e a r f a m i l y h o u s e h o l d s . G e n e r a l l y , i t i s r e g a r d e d as a f a i l u r e o f b o t h f a m i l i e s i f t h e m a r i t a l d i f f i c u l t i e s a r e n o t r e s o l v e d s a t i s f a c t o r i l y b e f o r e t h e y g e t t o t h e s t a g e o f d i v o r c e . Few young I n d i a - r a i s e d men i n t h e e a r l y y e a r s o f a m a r r i a g e w i l l s u p p o r t t h e i r w i v e s i n an a rgument w i t h t h e i r i n - l a w s . A n o t h e r t o p i c w h i c h was d i s c u s s e d was t h e h e a l t h h a z a r d p o s e d by i n s e c t i c i d e s on t h e l o c a l b e r r y f a r m s . T h e r e have been a number o f i l l n e s s e s due t o t h e s p r a y i n g done i n t h e b e r r y f i e l d s . The symptoms t a l k e d a b o u t were s w o l l e n e y e s and n a s a l p a s s a g e s , a n d v o m i t i n g . They s a y t h a t t h e y a t t e m p t t o keep t h e c h i l d r e n o u t o f t h e f i e l d s f o r t h e r e q u i r e d two d a y s a f t e r w a r d s b u t t h e r e i s a s e n s e o f g r e a t d a n g e r f r o m t h e s e - 92 -s u b s t a n c e s , and c o n c e r n a b o u t t h e i n a b i l i t y t o a l w a y s a c c o u n t f o r t h e c h i l d r e n ' s a c t i v i t i e s . T h i s c o n v e r s a t i o n c o n v e y e d , t o o , t h e i r c o n c e r n about ' t h e i r own l a c k o f u n d e r s t a n d i n g a b o u t t h e s e t h i n g s . D u r i n g t h e l a t e a f t e r n o o n , a y o u t h , a b o u t f i f t e e n y e a r s o l d , measu red o u t t h e i n g r e d i e n t s f o r t h e degh o r p r a s h a d ( the s a c r a m e n t a l f o o d ) . He f i r s t t o o k o f f h i s s h o e s - I was t o l d he m u s t be b a r e f o o t when he makes t h i s f o o d - t h e n he s t a r t e d t o r e c i t e t h e p a t (p raye r ) , as he c o o k e d t h e d e g h . I was i m p r e s s e d by h i s a b i l i t y and h i s d e v o t i o n . H i s f a t h e r i s t h e ' a c t i n g o f f i c i a t i n g p r i e s t ' a t t h e t e m p l e , and was u p s t a i r s r e a d i n g t h e G u r u G r a n t h S a h i b . A t c l o s e t o f i v e o ' c l o c k we have f i n i s h e d t h e ma in p a r t o f t h e c o o k i n g o f t h e f o o d s t h a t a r e t o be d i s t r i b u t e d t o e a c h f a m i l y i n v i t e d t o t h e w e d d i n g . We f i n d t h e l a r g e empty b o x e s w h i c h we b r o u g h t e a r l i e r , I l i n e them w i t h waxed p a p e r and we p u t t h e l a d d u i n t o them. T h e r e a r e a b o u t e i g h t b o x e s f u l l . Then t h e t r a y s o f b a r f i a r e l o a d e d o n t o t h e v a n , t h e s a l t y f o o d s , and t h e u n u s e d g r o c e r i e s . I t has been a l o n g , t i r i n g day - p h y s i c a l l y and e m o t i o n a l l y s t r e s s f u l . I have a s e n s e o f h a v i n g b o l d l y i n t r u d e d . F o r me, i n my d u a l r o l e s a s i n s i d e r and a n t h r o p o l o g i s t , a know ledge o f t h e l a n g u a g e and k i n s h i p t i e s have been i m p o r t a n t m e d i a t o r s . B u t i t w o u l d be a m i s t a k e n o t t o s a y t h a t t h e r e h a s been a p r o n o u n c e d f e e l i n g o f u n e a s e f o r me - a s ' p a r t i c i p a n t -o b s e r v e r s ' we f o r c e f u l l y i n t r u d e where we know we a r e a n u i s a n c e , - 9 3 -a t t h e v e r y l e a s t , p e r h a p s an embar rassmen t and a c u r i o s i t y and p e r h a p s a l l o f t h e s e t h i n g s . D) GOREA THE SAGAN W e s t e r n Wedd ing Shower The S c e n e : The p e r f o r m a n c e opens i n t h e e v e n i n g , a t t h e home o f a w h i t e woman who w o r k s i n t h e same o f f i c e a s D a r s h a n . D a r s h a n , S u r j i t and I e n t e r i n t o an L - s h a p e d l i v i n g room a n d d i n i n g room. T h e r e a r e a b o u t e i g h t w h i t e women s e a t e d i n t h e l i v i n g room. The d i n i n g room t a b l e i s s e t w i t h t e a s a n d w i c h e s and o t h e r W e s t e r n - t y p e s w e e t s , t e a cups and s a u c e r s , g l a s s e s , a p u n c h - f i l l e d b o w l , and s e v e r a l k i n d s o f p i c k l e s . S e v e r a l o f t h e women a r e b u s y i n t h e k i t c h e n . A c h a i r , d e c o r a t e d w i t h s t r e a m e r s , i s r e s e r v e d f o r D a r s h a n , w i t h a c h a i r on e i t h e r s i d e f o r S u r j i t and I. WESTERN WEDDING SHOWER  CAST OF CHARACTERS D a r s h a n S u r j i t K u l d i p T h e r e a r e a b o u t t e n w h i t e women, r a n g i n g i n age f r o m n i n e t e e n t o a b o u t f i f t y y e a r s o f age a t t h i s s h o w e r . They a r e D a r s h a n ' s f r i e n d s and c o -w o r k e r s . D a r s h a n ' s mo the r a s k e d me t o a t t e n d i n h e r p l a c e , D a r s h a n s a i d t h e i n v i t a t i o n had been e x t e n d e d t o me. F i g u r e V I I I - 94 -From my f i e l d n o t e s o f A p r i l 2 3 , 1 9 8 1 : A s we e n t e r e d t h e l i v i n g r o o m , we saw t h e d e c o r a t e d c h a i r s , t h e s m a l l s a n d w i c h e s , t h e s w e e t s : p i n e a p p l e s q u a r e s , and nana imo b a r s ; and t h e g i f t s wrapped i n w e d d i n g shower p a p e r s . D a r s h a n s a t i n t h e d e c o r a t e d c h a i r and I s a t on one s i d e , w i t h S u r j i t on t h e o t h e r . When i t came t i m e t o open t h e g i f t s we h e l p e d by f o l d i n g t h e g i f t wrap and p a s s i n g t h e c a r d s and g i f t s a r o u n d f o r i n s p e c t i o n . The g i f t s were m a i n l y c u t g l a s s i t e m s i n a p i n w h e e l p a t t e r n , and i t e m s f o r u s e i n t h e k i t c h e n , s u c h as a c u t t i n g b o a r d , t e a t o w e l s , oven m i t t s , e t c . The women a r e n o n - S i k h s , and v e r y c u r i o u s a b o u t t h e w e d d i n g , some o f them w i l l be g o i n g t o t h e ceremony a t t h e t e m p l e . I a s k e d D a r s h a n t o t e l l them t h e u s u a l sequence o f e v e n t s i n t h e w e d d i n g r i t e and she d i d s o . I t i s i m p o r t a n t t h a t t h e r u l e s o f t h e t e m p l e a r e n o t i n f r i n g e d , so we t e l l t h e women t h e y must wear head c o v e r i n g s i n t h e t e m p l e , s h o e s mus t b e removed b e f o r e e n t e r i n g , i n t o x i c a n t s a r e n o t a l l o w e d , and s m o k i n g i n t h e t e m p l e i s p r o h i b i t e d . T h e r e i s a good d e a l o f d i s c u s s i o n a b o u t t h e a r r a n g e d m a r r i a g e . The women want t o know how my n i e c e f e e l s a b o u t t h a t a s p e c t . They a r e a l s o q u i t e c u r i o u s a b o u t t h e g room, where t h e c o u p l e w i l l s t a y a f t e r t h e i r m a r r i a g e , when she w i l l see h i m , w i l l she l i k e h i m , e t c . S i n c e t h e y work w i t h D a r s h a n , t h e y know some o f t h e f r u s t r a t i o n s i n v o l v e d i n g e t t i n g H a r j i t ' s i m m i g r a t i o n p a p e r s a p p r o v e d so t h a t he c o u l d come t o C a n a d a . D a r s h a n r e p l i e s t o t h e i r q u e s t i o n s , j u g g l i n g t h e i n f o r m a t i o n and g i v i n g t h e - 95 -a p p r o p r i a t e r e s p o n s e , p e r h a p s c o n s t r a i n e d t o o by my p r e s e n c e t h e r e . S i n c e t h e s h o w e r , I am v e r y c o n s c i o u s o f how i n f o r m a t i o n i s commun ica ted t o d i f f e r e n t a u d i e n c e s . The women a t t h e shower were p r e s e n t e d w i t h a f r o n t r e g i o n . My n i e c e s and I knew o f t h e b a c k r e g i o n , i t was i m p l i c i t f o r u s . I n o t h e r w o r d s , t h e r e i s a n o t h e r ' f r o n t r e g i o n ' w h i c h w o u l d be p r e s e n t e d t o an a u d i e n c e composed o f S i k h women, and s t i l l a n o t h e r r e g i o n -t h e b a c k r e g i o n f o r t h e g h a r t h e a b o r d e a , t h e women o f t h e house ( i . e . t h e f a m i l y i n i t s b r o a d s e n s e o f t h e s e v e r a l l i n e a g e s , c o n s i d e r e d i m m e d i a t e f a m i l y ) . I t i s as i f t h e ' s t a g e ' were d i v i d e d i n t o s e p a r a t e a r e a s f o r e a c h a u d i e n c e , t he W e s t e r n and t h e S i k h , as w e l l a s t h e b a c k s t a g e f o r t h e f a m i l y . E a c h has i t s own l a n g u a g e , . a n d i t s own c u l t u r a l r u l e s . I t i s e s p e c i a l l y i n t e r e s t i n g , t o o , f o r me t o w a t c h t h i s c o m m u n i c a t i o n p r o c e s s , t h e e a s e w i t h w h i c h t h e t r a n s i t i o n f r om one p e r s p e c t i v e t o a n o t h e r i s made. My n i e c e s and I have an u n d e r s t a n d i n g t h a t i s s h a r e d . T h a t i s , we ' k n o w ' o r s h a r e a know ledge o f m u l t i p l e p e r s p e c t i v e s , e a c h c o m p l e t e i n i t s e l f . I know w h i c h p e r s p e c t i v e i s b e i n g p r e s e n t e d and p a r t i c i p a t e i n i t as i f by p r i o r c o n s e n t , b u t i t i s n o t d i s c u s s e d o r p e r h a p s even c o n s c i o u s , s o m e t i m e s . The d i s h a r m o n i e s a r e i n a s e n s e made h a r m o n i o u s , somet imes by l i t t l e d e c e i t s . - 96 -I know I am a f f e c t i n g t h e s i t u a t i o n a t t h e s h o w e r , as a r e l a t i v e o f t h e b r i d e - t o - b e , as a V a n c o u v e r i t e , as a f o r m e r a c q u a i n t a n c e o f a few women, and b e c a u s e o f my s t a t u s as a 14 s t u d e n t a t U . B . C . I n t h i s s e t t i n g we a r e t h e r e t o c o n v e r s e so i t means i n t e r a c t i o n w i t h mos t o f t h e p e o p l e h e r e , whe reas a t t h e t e m p l e work p a r t i e s , t h e r e a r e o t h e r a c t i v i t i e s g o i n g o n , and I m i g h t i n f l u e n c e t h e s i t u a t i o n l e s s . A f t e r t h e shower,, I d r i v e t h e young women back t o t h e i r home and a f t e r a b r i e f d i s c u s s i o n w i t h them a b o u t w h e t h e r I s h o u l d d r i v e a l o n e i n t h e f o g , l a t e a t n i g h t a l o n g r u r a l r o a d s , t o t he home o f my b r o t h e r , I d e c i d e t o s t a y o v e r n i g h t . B e c a u s e t h e house i s c r o w d e d , two o f us s h a r e a b e d . We a r e a l l t i r e d f r o m t h e a c t i v i t i e s o f t h e p a s t week ; I f e e l u n e a s y a b o u t how welcome I am t o n i g h t i n an a l r e a d y c rowded h o u s e h o l d . E v e r y o n e i s a l r e a d y b a d l y i n need o f r e s t , and tomorrow we must spend t h e day p r e p a r i n g f o r t h e s a g a n and g i d t h a t o be h e l d i n t h e e v e n i n g . E . SAGAN TE GIDTHA F a m i l y r i t e ( i n c l u d i n g w e s t e r n - t y p e shower) and Dance The S c e n e : The s e t t i n g i s t h e r u r a l f a r m house as d e s c r i b e d f o r t h e m a i a n r i t u a l . The house h a s an a i r o f f e s t i v i t y , and t h e swee t s p i c y s m e l l o f I n d i a n t e a and s w e e t s p e r m e a t e s t h e a i r . A few women a l r e a d y d r e s s e d i n s a r i s a r e s t a n d i n g i n t h e k i t c h e n e x p e c t a n t l y and o t h e r s a r e i n t h e - 97 -bedrooms c h a n g i n g , a f t e r h a v i n g s p e n t t h e day p r e p a r i n g f o r t h e e v e n i n g s e v e n t s . An a tmosphe re o f j o y , amusement , and t r a d i t i o n p r e v a i l s . SAGAN, GIDTHA AND WESTERN-TYPE WEDDING SHOWER CAST OF CHARACTERS D a r s h a n S u r j i t G u r d i a l K u l d i p M a s i - j i D a r s h a n ' s m a s i ( i . e . h e r m o t h e r ' s s i s t e r ) D a r s h a n ' s mamia ( i . e . h e r t h r e e a u n t s , MBW) D a r s h a n ' s pooah ( i . e . h e r f a t h e r ' s s i s t e r ) A n d , o t h e r c l o s e l y r e l a t e d women o f b o t h l i n e a g e s p r e s e n t , as w e l l as a v e r y few u n r e l a t e d ( f i c t i v e and w h i t e f r i e n d s . a r e k i n ) F i g u r e IX T h i s i s a m u l t i p l e - e v e n t , c o n d e n s e d i n t o one t o meet t h e e x p e c t a t i o n s o f f i r s t , t h e I n d i a - b o r n - a n d - r a i s e d B . C . S i k h women who v a l u e t h e t r a d i t i o n a l a c t i v i t i e s , and s e c o n d , t h e C a n a d a - b o r n - a n d - r a i s e d women, who a p p r e c i a t e b o t h t h e t r a d i t i o n a l s a g a n and g i d t h a , and t h e W e s t e r n s t y l e w e d d i n g s h o w e r , and t h i r d , t h e w h i t e r e l a t i v e s and f r i e n d s who know t h e W e s t e r n w e d d i n g shower b u t have n o t e x p e r i e n c e d t h e I n d i a n r i t u a l . - 98 -G u r d i a l h a d e x p l a i n e d t o me e a r l i e r t h a t o n l y t h e h o u s e h o l d B . C . S i k h women (ghar t h e a b o r d e a ) have been i n v i t e d t o t h i s e v e n t . As a f o r m a l e v e n t , many women i n t h e communi ty s h o u l d have been i n v i t e d . B u t b e c a u s e t h e i n t e r v a l o f t i m e u n t i l t h e w e d d i n g i s so s h o r t , and b e c a u s e t h e house i s s o s m a l l , o n l y t h e women o f t h e Nanke and Dadke a r e i n v i t e d . (Tha t i s , t h e women o f o u r l i n e a g e and t h a t o f D a r s h a n ' s 15 m a t e r n a l g r a n d p a r e n t s . ) I n o r d e r n o t t o o f f e n d a n y o n e , t h e f a m i l y h a v e made i t seem t o h a v e b e e n s t a g e d i m p r o m p t u . (The re h a s s i n c e b e e n some c r i t i c i s m o f t h i s s e e m i n g e x c l u s i v i t y . ) When D a r s h a n and I d e c o r a t e d t h e b r i d e ' s c h a i r t h i s m o r n i n g ( w i t h y e l l o w f l o w e r s a n d r e d s t r e a m e r s ) , she t o l d me t h a t t h e c h a i r s h o u l d a c t u a l l y f a c e e a s t , t o t h e r i s i n g s u n . We c o u l d n o t a c c o m p l i s h t h i s w i t h o u t r e - a r r a n g i n g t h e w h o l e r o o m , so t h e c h a i r was l e f t where i t w a s . A t a b o u t f o u r o ' c l o c k i n t h e a f t e r n o o n , one o f D a r s h a n ' s a u n t s (DMBW) a r r i v e d t o h e l p f r y t h e samosas w h i c h D a r s h a n and S u r j i t had made and f r o z e n a b o u t a month a g o . A l s o , t h e p o t s were p u t on f o r t e a and t o make swee t s a f f r o n r i c e . We g o t d r e s s e d i n o u r s a r i s a b o u t f i v e o ' c l o c k and s h o r t l y a f t e r t h a t p e o p l e s t a r t e d t o a r r i v e . We h e a r d them f i r s t f r o m q u i t e a d i s t a n c e , t h e N a n k e w a l i a , j u s t a s one w o u l d i n I n d i a , i f t h e y we re a r r i v i n g f r o m a n o t h e r v i l l a g e . They were s i n g i n g t h e I n d i a n ' g e e t ' . I t was M a s i - j i , h e r d a u g h t e r , and t h r e e d a u g h t e r s - i n - l a w . D a r s h a n l e t them i n , and i n f u n , b e c a u s e h e r mamia a r e h e r a g e , as i s h e r m a s i , she l o w e r e d h e r h e a d f o r t h e s e h r p a r l o s ( the b l e s s i n g - g r e e t i n g , g i v e n t o c h i l d r e n ) . Soon t h e r e was a h o u s e f u l o f women i n s a r i ' s , s a l v a r and k u r t i a , and W e s t e r n c l o t h e s . We s e r v e d t h e - 99 -t e a , and t h e l a d d u , b a r f i , m a t t a r and p a k o r i a were s e t o u t on t h e c o f f e e t a b l e . The women have now s t a r t e d t o s i n g t h e b v o l e a . Then t h e shower g i f t s ' a r e o p e n e d , b u t f i r s t , t h e r e i s a p a p e r p l a t e o n t o w h i c h t h e r i b b o n s and bows f r o m t h e g i f t s a r e b e i n g t a p e d , t o make a h a t w i t h s t r e a m e r s . I t h a d been p a s s e d a r o u n d f o r e a c h woman t o s i g n , some i n G u r m u k h i , a n d some i n E n g l i s h . A f t e r a l l o f t h e g i f t s were opened t h e b r i d e - t o - b e p u t on t h e ' h a t ' and she had h e r p i c t u r e t a k e n . E x c e p t f o r t h e Gurmukh i s i g n a t u r e s , and t h e s p a r s i t y o f bows ( t h e r e were few p r e s e n t s as many o f t h e women t o n i g h t gave money, so t h e y s i g n e d t h e h a t ) , t h i s p a r t was s i m i l a r t o t h e W e s t e r n wedd ing shower we a t t e n d e d l a s t n i g h t . The f o l l o w i n g i s a n e x c e r p t f r o m my j o u r n a l , a b o u t t h e s a g a n and t h e s i n g i n g and d a n c i n g t h a t f o l l o w e d : A p r i l 2 3 , 1 9 8 1 : The s a g a n i s p e r f o r m e d r i g h t a f t e r t h e s h o w e r . The women had been s i n g i n g t h e g e e t and b v o l e a a l l e v e n i n g and have now s t a r t e d up a g a i n . T h e n , t h e b r i d e ' s m o t h e r b r i n g s i n a t r a y w i t h f i v e b o w l s o f r i c e , c o l o u r e d w i t h s a f f r o n . She t a k e s one b o w l and f e e d s t h e b r i d e - t o -be s e v e n t e a s p o o n f u l s . As she does t h i s , t h e young s i s t e r o f t h e b r i d e p u l l s t h e s h a w l f r om h e r s i s t e r ' s s h o u l d e r s and p l a c e s i t a r o u n d h e r h e a d and p u l l s i t f o r w a r d o v e r h e r f a c e ( q u o l c a r d n e ) a l i t t l e . I t h i n k t h i s i s t o show t h e b r i d e ' s changed s t a t u s - she i s and h a s been i n s e c l u s i o n f o r t h e l a s t t e n d a y s o r more - 100 -( o f f i c i a l l y ) f b u t a l s o p e r h a p s t o show h e r t h a t she w i l l have t o be more r e s e r v e d i n h e r new home, and t o be aware o f c o v e r i n g h e r head and f a c e b e f o r e many o f h e r new k i n s m e n . She w i l l no l o n g e r be as f r e e as she was i n h e r own ' v i l l a g e ' (cum home i n C a n a d a ) , where t h e g i r l s , b e c a u s e e v e r y o n e i s ' r e l a t e d ' t o t h e m , h a d no need t o be s o c a r e f u l . She w o u l d have been c o m p a r a t i v e l y c a r e f r e e i n t h a t s e t t i n g . N e x t , t h e n a n i ( m a t e r n a l g r a n d m o t h e r ) , f e d h e r f i v e t e a s p o o n f u l s o f r i c e , t h e n h e r m o t h e r ' s e l d e s t b r o t h e r ' s w i f e d i d t h e same. The r e m a i n i n g f o u r b o w l s o f r i c e were g i v e n t o t h e b r i d e ' s u n m a r r i e d ' s i s t e r s ' and t o h e r young m a s i . We were t h e n a l l s e r v e d t h e r i c e , t e a and s a m o s a s . A s t h e p l a t e s were t a k e n away, t h e women l i n e d up a n d , s t a r t i n g w i t h t h e g r a n d m o t h e r , t h e y e a c h c i r c l e d t h e b r i d e ' s h e a d f o u r t i m e s w i t h a $10 o r a $20 b i l l , p r e s s e d i t o n t o h e r f o r e h e a d , and t h e n p u t i t i n t o t h e end o f t h e b r i d e ' s s h a w l w h i c h she h e l d cupped i n h e r h a n d . A f t e r t h i s she t h a n k e d e v e r y o n e . As we moved t h e c o f f e e t a b l e , women s t a r t e d t o s i n g t h e g e e t , f i r s t t o g e t h e r and t h e n i n t w o ' s . Then t h e y o u n g e r s i s t e r o f t h e b r i d e and h e r u n m a r r i e d young a u n t sang t o g e t h e r and s t a r t e d t h e g i d t h a (a f o l k d a n c e ) . They d i d a s h u f f l e s t e p , c l a p p e d t h e i r h a n d s , and sang a s h o r t r e f r a i n , w h i c h t h e women s e a t e d a r o u n d t h e d a n c e r s t o o k up as t h e y c l a p p e d a f a s t b e a t . Now t h e - 101 -d a n c e r s make a f l u t t e r sound w i t h t h e i r l i p s . They go r o u n d and r o u n d and one s u d d e n l y t h r o w s h e r s h a w l up o v e r h e r f a c e , c o v e r i n g i t c o m p l e t e l y - p r o b a b l y r e -p r e s e n t i n g a b r i d e , w h i l e t h e o t h e r d a n c e s w i t h h e r f a c e u n c o v e r e d . (The dance r e m i n d s me o f a b e e ' s c i r c l e d a n c e . ) I t h i n k t h i s i s s u p p o s e d t o r e p r e s e n t a man and a woman, man i n p u r s u i t o f a woman, o r b r i d e by c a p t u r e p e r h a p s ? Two o f t h e young n e w l y m a r r i e d mamia (MBW) g e t up v e r y s h y l y , a n d do a c o u p l e o f t u r n s a r o u n d t h e f l o o r b e f o r e c o l l a p s i n g i n t h e i r c h a i r s i n l a u g h t e r . L a t e r t h e women s t a r t t o s i n g " L e t us n a n a n d - p e r j a i  n a u t c h " , t h a t was r e f e r r i n g t o D a r s h a n ' s mo the r and I - t h i s u s a g e o f k i n t e r m s w h i c h j u x t a p o s e s t h o s e r e l a t i o n s h i p s w h i c h a r e marked w i t h t e n s i o n s i n e v e r y d a y l i f e , i s a key f e a t u r e o f t h e w e d d i n g s o n g s . I s h o u l d e x p l a i n t h a t when I, as h e r nanand ( ' H Z ' ) , and she as my p e r j a i ( 'BW' ) g e t up t o dance t o g e t h e r we a r e s h o w i n g , I t h i n k , t h a t on t h i s o c c a s i o n (and on numerous o t h e r s o c i a l o c c a s i o n s ) we have a c o m m o n a l i t y o f i n t e r e s t , t h e w e d d i n g o f a d a u g h t e r o f t h e f a m i l y . We a r e p r e s e n t i n g t h e p u b l i c f a c e o f t h e f a m i l y t o t h e p e o p l e i n v i t e d . The p r i v a t e s p h e r e i s masked f o r t h e d u r a t i o n o f t h e w e d d i n g , t h e t e n s i o n s i n h e r e n t i n t h i s r e l a t i o n s h i p , h i d d e n . We do g e t up and d a n c e , I am t o t a l l y i n e p t a t n a u t c h -d a n c i n g b u t we do a t u r n o r two a r o u n d t h e f l o o r - i t was e n j o y a b l e , a n d s a t i s f i e d t h o s e who c a l l e d t h e h u s b a n d ' s s i s t e r / s i s t e r - i n - l a w r e l a t i o n s h i p i n t o p l a y . - 102 -L a t e r , one l a y e r o f t h e w e d d i n g c a k e I h a d b a k e d i s b r o u g h t i n t o t h e f r o n t room and p u t on t h e t a b l e i n f r o n t o f D a r s h a n . She makes a f i r s t c u t i n t o i t and t h e n i t i s t a k e n b a c k i n t o t h e k i t c h e n and I c u t and s e r v e i t w i t h t h e h e l p o f my n i e c e . I t h i n k t h e r e i s some comment a b o u t t h e t h i n s t r i p s o f c a k e t h a t I s e r v e - one o f t h e r e l a t i v e s c u t s a l a r g e wedge and s e r v e s i t . I w i s h I had known t h i s w o u l d be c o n s i d e r e d s k i m p y ; I f e e l e m b a r r a s s e d and w o u l d c u t l a r g e r p i e c e s b u t f e e l c o n s t r a i n e d b e c a u s e D a r s h a n wan ts t o save one l a y e r f o r h e r s e l f f o r n e x t y e a r , t h e i r f i r s t a n n i v e r s a r y . The women go home f a i r l y e a r l y - and a s t h e y l e a v e we g i v e them t h e bags o f f o o d f o r e a c h f a m i l y . D a r s h a n had p a c k e d them t h i s m o r n i n g - f r om t h e b o x e s we p r e p a r e d a t t h e t e m p l e . E a c h f a m i l y ' r e c e i v e d l a d d u , p a k o r i a , m a t t a r , and s a k e r p a r e (now r e f e r r e d t o a s korme by some f a m i l i e s ? ) , and p i e c e s o f b a r f i . D u r i n g t h e w e d d i n g r i t u a l s , e s p e c i a l l y t h e women 's g i d t h a and g e e t , t h e r e i s a r e s t r u c t u r i n g o f t h e w o r l d o f t h e b r i d e - t o - b e t h r o u g h s o n g . She has a know ledge o f t h e c o n t e n t o f t h e songs b e c a u s e o f h e r p a r t i c i p a t i o n i n h e r c u l t u r e - t h e y a r e p a r t o f h e r w o r l d v i e w and e t h o s - t h e g e n e r a l s e t o f i d e a s a b o u t h e r c u l t u r e - b u t she has no t e x p e r i e n c e d t h i s f i r s t h a n d b e f o r e . Now t h e r e i s a p e r s o n a l i n v o l v e m e n t i n e v e r y g e e t and b v o l e . He r new r o l e i s p l a y e d o u t i n e v e r y song a n d dance a t t h e s e v e r a l e v e n t s p r i o r t o t h e w e d d i n g . - 103 -Some o f t h e s o n g s a r e sung i n h e r ' v o i c e ' , t h a t i s t o s a y t h a t i n t hem, t h e s i n g e r becomes t h i s b r i d e . The s i n g e r i n one song s i n g s i t f r o m t h e f u t u r e t i m e , when t h e b r i d e w i l l be r e t u r n i n g home a f t e r h e r m a k l a v a ( the day o r two a f t e r t h e s h a d i , i n t h e home o f h e r i n - l a w s ) . I n t h e s o n g , t h e b r i d e i s r e l a t i n g ' t o h e r f a m i l y and f r i e n d s how she f e e l s a b o u t h e r i n - l a w s . She s a y s t h a t h e r s u s ( m o t h e r - i n - l a w ) t e l l s h e r t o c a l l h e r mata ( m o t h e r ) , b u t she s a y s , "I c a l l h e r o l d woman" . Her s a u r a ( f a t h e r - i n - l a w ) t e l l s h e r t o c a l l h im p i t h a - j i ( f a t h e r + h o n o r i f i c ) , b u t she s a y s , "I c a l l h im o l d m a n " . H e r nanand ( s i s t e r - i n - l a w ) t e l l s h e r t o c a l l h e r p a r n , b u t she s a y s , "I c a l l h e r ' g i r l ' " . He r j e t h ( h u s b a n d ' s e l d e r b r o t h e r ) t e l l s h e r t o c a l l h i m b e r e ( b r o t h e r ) , b u t she s a y s , "I c a l l h i m ' b o y ' " , e t c . The song i s a s t a t e m e n t by t h e women a t t h e g i d t h a , t h a t t h e b r i d e ' s p e r c e p t i o n o f h e r s i t u a t i o n d u r i n g t h e m a k l a v a and t h e e a r l y days i n t h e new home i s n o t a t a l l u n c o n v e n t i o n a l o r ' n e w ' ; t h a t e v e r y n e w l y m a r r i e d woman has a t f i r s t f e l t t h e s e f e e l i n g s o f l i t t l e g e n u i n e a f f e c t i o n f o r t h e s e new r e l a t i o n s . I n a n o t h e r b v o l e , t h e b r i d e i s d e p i c t e d a s c h i d i n g h e r f a t h e r . She t e l l s h i m t h a t h i s a l l i a n c e ( s i k i r w i t h t h e s e new r e l a t i o n s w i l l come t o n a u g h t ( w i l l b r e a k ) i f she d i e s o f g r i e f a t b e i n g s e n t t h e r e so s o o n . I n o t h e r w o r d s , she i s s a y i n g she i s n o t y e t r e a d y t o be s e n t away i n m a r r i a g e . I i n c l u d e t h e s e few e x a m p l e s , ( t h e r e may be b e t t e r ones ) t o show t h a t t h e y d e p i c t t h e t e n s i o n s t h a t m i g h t be e x p e r i e n c e d by t h e b r i d e , a n d t h e y a r e l a b e l l e d i n a way , a s b e i n g common - 104 -t o a l l women i n s i m i l a r s i t u a t i o n s . The i m p o r t a n c e o f t h e b v o l e a , a p a r t f r o m t h e i r e n t e r t a i n m e n t v a l u e , i s t h a t t h e y o p e r a t e as a d e v i c e w h i c h s h a p e s t h e c o n s c i o u s n e s s o f t h e p e r s o n t h r o u g h t h e u s e o f s h i f t i n g p e r s p e c t i v e s . The b v o l e a a r e sung f r om t h e d i f f e r e n t s o c i a l l o c a t i o n s t h e b r i d e w i l l f i n d h e r s e l f i n , v i s a v i s h e r r o l e s w i t h e a c h new a f f i n a l k i n s m e n , (o r a t l e a s t t h o s e w h i c h have t h e g r e a t e s t p o t e n t i a l f o r t e n s i o n ) , - t h o s e t h a t have been m e n t i o n e d i n t h e f i r s t i l l u s t r a t i o n a b o v e . T h e r e i s a l w a y s t e n s i o n be tween t h e m o t h e r - i n - l a w and d a u g h t e r - i n - l a w , be tween t h e d a u g h t e r s o f t h e v i l l a g e ( i n t h i s c a s e t h e h u s b a n d ' s s i s t e r ) and t h e i n c o m i n g b r i d e s , f o r b r i d e s a r e w a t c h e d by t h e i r s i s t e r s - i n - l a w f o r any m i s d e m e a n o u r ' s . T h e r e i s an a v o i d a n c e r e l a t i o n s h i p be tween a b r i d e and h e r h u s b a n d ' s e l d e s t b r o t h e r and be tween h e r and h e r f a t h e r - i n - l a w . So t h e b v o l e a c a n be seen t o l a b e l t h e i m p o r t a n t r e l a t i o n s h i p s . The day a f t e r t h e r i c e - s a g a n a t t h e home o f t h e b r i d e - t o - b e , e i g h t women go t o t h e t e m p l e . They a r e m a k i n g t h e l a s t o f t h e f o o d s f o r t h e women's r e c e p t i o n - d a n c e a t t h e r e n t e d h a l l . As w e l l , a m e a l has been p r e p a r e d f o r t h o s e who a r e w o r k i n g and f o r them t o t a k e home t o t h e i r f a m i l i e s ( t o s p a r e them t h a t l a b o u r , l a t e r ) . The m e a l i s k h i r (a r i c e and m i l k p u d d i n g ) , a l e n t i l d a l and r o t i s . From my f i e l d n o t e s : - 105 -: T h r e e women a r e busy f r y i n g p a k o r e f o r t h i s e v e n i n g ' s e v e n t . P a k o r e a r e s p i c y c l u s t e r s o f p e a s , o n i o n s and p o t a t o e s , i n a p e a f l o u r b a t t e r t o w h i c h h o t s p i c e s s u c h as r e d p e p p e r , and m u s s a l l a , a r e a d d e d . S m a l l amounts o f t h i s m i x t u r e a r e t h e n p l a c e d i n t o t h e h o t f a t and f r i e d . B e c a u s e I have a r r i v e d l a t e , I am s e r v e d a l o n e , a l u n c h o f k h i r , r o t i , d a l a n d p a k o r i a . A f t e r w a r d s , I s i t and p e e l p o t a t o e s f o r t h e n e x t d a y ' s m e a l . My a u n t and m a s i - j i a r e p e e l i n g and q u a r t e r i n g t h e o n i o n s . They u s u a l l y p e e l and c u t t h e o n i o n s b e c a u s e t h e y s a y , "we a r e o l d e r i t d o e s n ' t m a t t e r i f o u r eyes g e t r e d and w a t e r y " . T h e r e i s u s u a l l y a c o n v i v i a l a tmosphe re when t h e women a r e c o o k i n g , a l t h o u g h i t i s n o t unknown f o r women t o b r i n g t h e i r p e r s o n a l e n m i t i e s t o t h e s e work p a r t i e s . The work t o d a y w i l l end e a r l y . A t s i x o ' c l o c k t h e b r i d e ' s m o t h e r ' s b r o t h e r s and t h e i r w i v e s w i l l t a k e t h e p r e p a r e d f o o d s t o t h e r e c e p t i o n room a t t h e L e i s u r e C e n t e r . They have b o x e s o f l a d d u , b a r f i , p a k o r i a , t e a and j u i c e , p a p e r p l a t e s , cups and n a p k i n s . B u t f i r s t , t h e y w i l l w a i t f o r t h e man who comes t o make t h e j a l e b i ' s . ( J a l e b i ' s a r e a f r i e d c o i l o f p a s t r y d i p p e d i n t o a s y r u p , w h i c h e n t e r s t h e i n n e r p a r t o f t h e c o i l . They a r e p r e p a r e d e s p e c i a l l y f o r w e d d i n g s . We do n o t a t t e m p t t o make them b e c a u s e t h e y r e q u i r e some s k i l l t o p r e p a r e . ) - 106 -F . GIDTHA  WOmen's F o l k Dance The S c e n e : A f t e r p a r k i n g i n t h e l a r g e p a r k i n g l o t o f t h e L e i s u r e C e n t e r (a modern communi ty c e n t e r b u i l d i n g ) , one e n t e r s t h r o u g h heavy d o o r s t o a l a r g e room w i t h a s t a g e a t one end and c h a i r s and t a b l e s a t t he o t h e r . To t h e r i g h t o f t h e ma in e n t r a n c e , a h a l l w a y l e a d s i n t o a s m a l l k i t c h e n a r e a w h i c h h a s a p a s s - t h r o u g h ( f o r s e r v i n g food ) i n t o t h e room. A s e c o n d e n t r a n c e , f r om t h e i n t e r i o r o f t h e l a r g e b u i l d i n g i s t o be s e e n a t t he l e f t o f t h e s t a g e , a r e d e x i t s i g n hangs above i t . As one e n t e r s t h e room many women may b e s e e n w e a r i n g c o l o r f u l s a l v a r and k u r t i w i t h m a t c h i n g c h u n e a . O t h e r s , a v e r y f e w , a r e w e a r i n g s a r i s and a few o f t h e y o u n g e r women a r e w e a r i n g l a n g a s . Some a r e a t t h e c e n t e r o f t h e r o o m , s t a n d i n g i n a c i r c l e , w a t c h i n g t h e a c t i v i t y i n t h e c e n t e r . O t h e r women a r e s t a n d i n g i n s m a l l g r o u p s c o n v e r s i n g , s t i l l o t h e r s a r e i n t h e k i t c h e n m a k i n g t e a and p u t t i n g f o o d o u t i n l a r g e b o w l s . The c e i l i n g o f t h i s room i s v e r y h i g h and makes a l l sounds e c h o . - 107 -GIDTHA CAST OF CHARACTERS The women o f b o t h l i n e a g e s (as shown i n F i g u r e I ) , and many o t h e r women who a r e r e l a t e d o r a r e f r i e n d s , f r o m t h e l o c a l a r e a ( F r a s e r V a l l e y ) , f r om V a n c o u v e r , New W e s t m i n s t e r and f r o m V i c t o r i a . A few p e o p l e f r om l o n g e r d i s t a n c e s ( M o n t r e a l and S e a t t l e ) a r e a l s o h e r e t o n i g h t . M o s t o f t h e c h i l d r e n a t t e n d t h e s e f u n c t i o n s w i t h t h e i r m o t h e r . T h e r e a r e a number o f young men o f t h e f a m i l y s t a n d i n g o u t s i d e t h e b u i l d i n g , t h e y h a v e d e l i v e r e d t h e f o o d and some o f them w i l l s t a y , c o n v e r s i n g o u t s i d e w i t h f r i e n d s , r e a d y i f t h e women need t o s e n d them on an e r r a n d . The w h i t e c a r e t a k e r comes t h r o u g h f r e q u e n t l y , c u r i o u s , w a t c h i n g t h e a c t i v i t y w i t h i n t e r e s t . P a r t way t h r o u g h t h e e v e n i n g a b e l l y d a n c e r a r r i v e s t o p r o v i d e e n t e r t a i n m e n t . F i g u r e X J o u r n a l , A p r i l 2 4 , 1 9 8 1 : When I a r r i v e a t t h e h a l l w i t h my young n i e c e , i t i s 8 : 3 0 p . m . and a l r e a d y t h e r e a r e a b o u t one h u n d r e d women and c h i l d r e n t h e r e . The women a r e i n a l a r g e c i r c l e w i t h an e i g h t f o o t a r e a i n t h e c e n t e r f o r t h e d a n c e r s . We p u s h t o g e t n e a r t h e f r o n t where two d a n c e r s a r e d o i n g t h e n a u t c h d a n c i n g o r g i d t h a , a n d s i n g i n g b v o l e a . A l l o f t h e women on t h e p e r i p h e r y c l a p o u t a b e a t and s i n g t h e r e f r a i n o v e r and o v e r . I f i n d i t u s e l e s s t o t r y t o t a p e t h e m u s i c - t h e echo i n t h e room i s so bad t h a t one c a n h a r d l y make o u t t h e words o f t h e s o n g s t o p i c k up t h e r e f r a i n t o be s u n g . T h i s - 108 -i s why t h e y c rowd i n t o t h e c e n t e r s o much. A t n i n e o ' c l o c k my f r i e n d , who i s a b e l l y d a n c e r , i s r e a d y t o e n t e r t h e c i r c l e . She e n t e r s t h e dance c i r c l e w i t h c y m b a l s r i n g i n g o u t a f a s t b e a t . A t f i r s t t h e r e i s a s t u n n e d s i l e n c e , t h e n t h e women p i c k up t h e b e a t and a l l c l a p t o h e r b e a t l o u d l y and w i t h o b v i o u s e n t h u s i a s m . The d a n c e r u n c o v e r s h e r f a c e a n d t h e women a r e q u i t e o b v i o u s l y s u r p r i s e d ( pe rhaps t h e y c o n s i d e r i t immodest t o be so b a r e ? ) . The o l d e r women a r e v e r y k e e n and l a u g h and c l a p t h r o u g h o u t t h e d a n c e . Some o f t h e women a r e n o t e n j o y i n g i t - a t l e a s t t h a t i s t h e i m p r e s s i o n I g e t as I w a t c h them. P e r h a p s i t i s s t r a n g e and t h e y a r e t r y i n g t o make s e n s e o f i t - i t i s n o t p a r t o f t h e i r c u l t u r a l e x p e r i e n c e . Then t h e d a n c e r g i v e s t h e m o t h e r o f t h e b r i d e a r o s e and e v e r y o n e c l a p s . I p u t some money i n t o t h e d a n c e r ' s b r a s t r a p a n d many o f t h e 'women o f t h e h o u s e h o l d ' and a few o t h e r s f o l l o w s a y i n g i t i s s a g a n . J u s t t h e n a l o n e man i s p u l l e d i n t o t h e h a l l . He i s t h e y o u n g e s t o f D a r s h a n ' s m o t h e r ' s b r o t h e r s . He i s p u s h e d i n t o t h e c e n t e r o f t h e c i r c l e and t o l d t o p u t some money i n t o t h e d a n c e r ' s s k i r t . He a t t e m p t s t o , b u t t u r n s away as i f i n e m b a r r a s s m e n t . He i s v e r y s h y . L a t e r , G u r d i a l e x p l a i n e d t o me t h a t someone s a i d t h e Nanke had s p o n s o r e d t h e e v e n t and she wan ted t o s e t t h e r e c o r d s t r a i g h t . T h i s i s t h e e v e n i n g a l l t h e young women have w a i t e d f o r , t h e y have p l a n n e d t h e i r o u t f i t s w i t h g r e a t c a r e . I w a t c h e d one - 109 -night as two of them modelled t h e i r 'Punjabi s u i t s ' f o r us and asked us to decide which were the most a t t r a c t i v e . The three mamiya (MBW's) then come out of the side h a l l , singing. The eldest has a pot on her head, on the l i d of which are seven large glowing candles. She enters singing "Jago Ve, Jago AiHa..." I missed the f i r s t few words but know that she i s singing as i f she were i n the bridegroom's v i l l a g e and i s t e l l i n g him "to wakeup, the woman who awakens has ar r i v e d . . . " The three women then dance i n the c i r c l e , the one with the pot j u s t c i r c l i n g , as the other two nautch. Once these two dancers leave, the woman with the candles remains i n , s t i l l c i r c l i n g and two other women enter singing a d i f f e r e n t r e f r a i n , clapping and nautch around her. This continues f o r some time. Then the pot i s transferred to the head of the younger mami (MBW) and a new set of women dance around her. This process continues u n t i l f i n a l l y the pot has been transferred to the head of the most recently married mami, she i s very shy and stays i n the center f o r only a b r i e f turn or two. During the gidtha, i t seems that sometimes the two women represent a man and a woman. In one gidtha p a i r the 'man' i s making hand motions i n d i c a t i n g he i s drinking l i q u o r and 'he' i s i n p u r s u i t of the woman. Unfortunately, the echo i n the room prevents me from hearing the bvole that would explain the dance. - 110 -A t a b o u t 1 0 : 3 0 p . m . t h e women s t a r t t o s e r v e t h e f o o d . We a r e e a c h g i v e n a p a p e r p l a t e , n a p k i n s , and a p a p e r c u p . Then t h e f o o d i s s e r v e d f r o m l a r g e b o w l s . .." Tea o r j u i c e i s s e r v e d f r o m l a r g e j u g s . ; The f o o d s a r e t h e m a t t a r , p a k o r i a , j a l e b i s , b a r f i , s a c r e p a r e , and l a d d u . I t i s f r e s h and t a s t y . (The j a l e b i s were made l a t e t h i s a f t e r n o o n , by a man who s p e c i a l i z e s i n m a k i n g s w e e t s . He went t o t h e t e m p l e t o d a y , a f t e r we h a d l e f t . ) Soon a f t e r t h e f o o d i s e a t e n , t h e women s t a r t t o l e a v e . A t t h e d o o r G u r d i a l and h e r s i s t e r - i n - l a w (her h u s b a n d ' s sakhe  b h a i n ) , a r e s t a n d i n g w i t h t h e p r e p a r e d bags o f t h e w e d d i n g f o o d s w h i c h go t o e a c h f a m i l y i n t h e commun i t y . A s t h e women l e a v e , t h e y p r e s s money i n t o G u r d i a l 1 s h a n d , u s u a l l y $10 o r $ 2 0 , b u t a few a r e l a r g e r amounts a s w e l l . T h e s e a r e w e d d i n g g i f t s , and t h e amounts o f e a c h a r e r e c o r d e d f o r f u t u r e t r a n s a c t i o n s . A t 1 1 : 3 0 p . m . t h e e l d e s t and c l o s e s t o f t h e women r e l a t i v e s l e a v e f o r t h e home o f t h e b r i d e - t o - b e . D a r s h a n had n o t a t t e n d e d t o n i g h t ' s d a n c e , b u t h a d r e m a i n e d a t home. G . NAI THOI The R i t u a l B a t h i n g o f t h e  B r i d e - t o - b e The S c e n e : The r u r a l f a r m house i s c rowded w i t h 'women o f t h e h o u s e h o l d ' -The s c e n e i s a v e r y e m o t i o n a l o n e . I t i s v e r y l a t e , on t h e e v e n i n g b e f o r e - I l l -t h e s h a d i . T h i s i s t h e r i t u a l b a t h i n g o f t h e b r i d e , c o n d u c t e d by t h e 15 c l o s e s t o f t h e women r e l a t i v e s i n C a n a d a . NAI -THOI CAST OF CHARACTERS D a r s h a n G u r d i a l S u r j i t M a s i - j i D a r s h a n ' s m o t h e r ' s b r o t h e r ' s w i v e s , h e r t h r e e mamia D a r s h a n ' s f a t h e r ' s s i s t e r , h e r pooah D a r s h a n ' s m o t h e r ' s s i s t e r , h e r m a s i A number o f o t h e r e l d e r l y ' a u n t s ' f r om b o t h l i n e a g e s p r e s e n t , as w e l l as young women c o u s i n s . The e l d e s t D a r s h a n ' s m o t h e r ' s b r o t h e r s i s a l s o p r e s e n t . a r e o f F i g u r e X I J o u r n a l , A p r i l 2 5 , 1 9 8 1 : A f t e r t h e women's r e c e p t i o n , t h e women went t o t h e b r i d e ' s p a r e n t ' s home f o r t h e r i t u a l b a t h i n g o f t h e b r i d e c a l l e d n a i t h o i ( b a t h i n g t h e b r i d e ) . T h i s i s when t h e b r i d e ' s c l o t h e s a r e d i s p l a y e d (he r d e h j ) . These i t e m s w h i c h make up h e r d o w r y , a r e f r o m h e r s a u r i ( I d e a t i o n a l f o r h u s b a n d ' s p a r e n t ' s v i l l a g e ) , f r o m h e r nanke ( m a t e r n a l g r a n d p a r e n t s - 112 -v i l l a g e ) and f r o m h e r own v i l l a g e , w h i c h a f t e r h e r m a r r i a g e w i l l be c a l l e d h e r p a k e . The f o l l o w i n g i s a p a r t i a l l i s t o f h e r g i f t s : " 1 " 6 The g i f t s f r o m h e r s a u r i ( . in - laws) a r e : 1 . Seven s u i t s e a c h c o n s i s t i n g o f a s a l v a r , k u r t i and c h u n i 2 . M e h n d i - h e n n a , t o be a p p l i e d a t h e r n a i t h o i 3 . Two d o r i a n - d e c o r a t e d w o o l s t r a n d s t o be b r a i d e d i n t o h e r h a i r . 4 . One s e t o f g o l d j e w e l r y - n e c k l a c e , e a r r i n g s , r i n g , g o l d b r a c e l e t s 5 . Shoes The g i f t s f r o m h e r n a n k e : 1 . One c h e s t e r f i e l d s u i t e 2 . One s e t o f g o l d j e w e l r y 3 . The Guru k a L a n g a r : t h e m e a l a t t h e t e m p l e on t h e day o f t h e w e d d i n g . I t i s f o r t h e w h o l e c o n g r e g a t i o n . 4 . F o r t h e m o t h e r o f t h e b r i d e ( t h e i r d a u g h t e r ) : one ' s u i t ' , s h o e s and d o r i a n 5 . F o r t h e b r i d e : n i n e ' s u i t s ' 6 . F o r e a c h o f t h e b r i d e ' s a u n t s ( p o o a h ) : one ' s u i t ' 7 . F o r t h e b r o t h e r s and t h e i r w i v e s , o f t h e f a t h e r o f t h e b r i d e : one s u i t e a c h 8 . F o r t h e b r i d e ' s y o u n g e r b r o t h e r : c l o t h i n g 9 . F o r t h e b r i d e ' s y o u n g e r s i s t e r : one s u i t The g i f t s f r om h e r a u n t s ( p o o a h ' s ) A and B A - The a u n t who i s t h e f a t h e r ' s s i s t e r : 1 . F i v e ' s u i t s ' 2 . Two s a r i s 3 . One s e t o f d i s h e s ( b r e a k f a s t s e t ) 4 . One s e w i n g m a c h i n e 5 . F o r t h e g r o o m , one p a i r o f s l a c k s and one s h i r t B - The a u n t who i s t h e f a t h e r ' s f a t h e r ' s b r o t h e r ' s d a u g h t e r : 1. A b e d s p r e a d 2 . The Honeymoon t r i p t o V i c t o r i a ( t r a v e l , f e r r y , h o t e l and c o s t s ) 3 . F o r t h e groom a g i f t o f f i f t y d o l l a r s - 113 -The g i f t s f r o m h e r p a r e n t s : T h i s i s a p a r t i a l l i s t f o r most o f t h e e x p e n s e o f t h e w e d d i n g was t h e i r s . 1 . One s e t o f g o l d j e w e l r y 2 . T h i r t y o r more ' s u i t s ' 3 . Twenty s a r i s 4 . Shoes and p u r s e s 5 . L i n g e r i e 6 . L i n e n s : ( s h e e t s , p i l l o w c a s e s , c o m f o r t e r s , t a b l e c l o t h s , e t c . ) 7 . The g r o o m ' s e x p e n s e s t o Canada 8 . A f i r e b i r d c o s t i n g $ 1 1 , 0 0 0 The g i f t s f r o m t h e r e m a i n i n g f r i e n d s and r e l a t i v e s : T h e r e were a l s o c l o t h i n g f r o m t h e m o t h e r ' s s i s t e r s ( t h i s i n c l u d e s b o t h s a k h e ( c o n s a n g u i n e a l ) and f i c t i v e s i s t e r s . O t h e r g i f t s came f r o m t h e m o t h e r ' s nanke (MMF's v i l l a g e ) , and f r o m t h e h o u s e h o l d s o f h e r f a t h e r ' s b r o t h e r ' s ( e l d e r and y o u n g e r ) and t h e i r f a m i l i e s . - ' - " ' ' T h e r e were o t h e r g i f t s f r om t h e members o f t h e commun i t y , t o be opened a f t e r t h e w e d d i n g . A f t e r t h e women h a d i n s p e c t e d t h e g i f t s , t h e b r i d e - t o - b e 18 was s e n t t o b e g i n t h e n a i t h o i . I was t o l d t h a t i n C a n a d a , a b r i d e u s u a l l y b a t h e s h e r s e l f . I n I n d i a n v i l l a g e s ( P u n j a b ) , t h e c u s t o m i s t o have t h e n a i draw t h e w a t e r f o r t h e b a t h . T h e n , t h e women, u s u a l l y c l o s e r e l a t i v e s o f t h e b r i d e , make a b u t t o n a , a m i x t u r e o f o a t f l o u r ( jewa t h e a t t a ) , o i l , and h a l d i ( t u m e r i c ) . T h i s m i x t u r e i s r u b b e d on t h e young woman's s k i n t o c l e a n s e i t . T h i s p r o c e d u r e was n o t f o l l o w e d by D a r s h a n . She b a t h e d h e r s e l f and p u t on h e r new b r i g h t p i n k s i l k ' s u i t ' . Then h e r mama (MB) c a r r i e d h e r o u t t o t h e women, w a i t i n g w i t h t h e g o l d b r a c e l e t s , n e c k l a c e , and e a r r i n g s , t h e d o r i a n , and t h e mehnd i - 114 -(henna) f r o m h e r s a u r i ( i n - l a w s ) . The women were s i n g i n g v e r y e m o t i o n a l , s a d g e e t ( b a l l a d s ) . D a r s h a n ' s mamia (MBW's) s t a r t e d t o d r e s s h e r , t h e y combed h e r h a i r , b r a i d i n g i n t h e d o r i a n f r o m h e r i n - l a w s ( t h i s p a i r i s o f r e d s t r a n d s o f w o o l , f o r h e r w e d d i n g ) . The s o n g s a r e s o s a d t h a t D a r s h a n and the o t h e r women c r i e d t h r o u g h o u t t h e b a t h i n g and d r e s s i n g . The g e e t a r e r i c h i n t h e u s e o f m e t a p h o r . G u r d i a l e x p l a i n e d one s o n g t o me, i t i s a b o u t a l l o f t h e u n m a r r i e d g i r l s o f t h e v i l l a g e b e i n g l i k e a b o u q u e t o f f l o w e r s , and t h a t t o n i g h t one s i n g l e f l o w e r h a s been t a k e n o u t o f t h e b o u q u e t . The s i n g e r s c o n t i n u e w i t h t h e s o n g s a y i n g t h a t a t a t i m e s u c h a s t h i s a mami i s needed by t h e b r i d e ( i . e . t o d r e s s , c o n s o l e and a d v i s e h e r ) . D a r s h a n ' s mamia combed and b r a i d e d h e r h a i r w i t h t h e d o r i a n , p u t t h e r e d chewra ( b r a c e l e t f r o m n a n k e , a t r a d i t i o n a l g i f t ) on h e r w r i s t and t h e g o l d b r a c e l e t s . T h e n , mehnd i was p u t on h e r hands i n a daub on e a c h p a l m . A r o u n d t h i s , t h e s i s t e r o f t h e b r i d e p u t t h e r e m a i n i n g mehnd i i n a d o t -p a t t e r n on e a c h j o i n t o f h e r f i n g e r s , a n d a r o u n d t h e c e n t e r d a u b . T h e n , t h e m o t h e r c o n d u c t e d t h e s a g a n , she came i n t o t h e f r o n t room w i t h a p l a t e on w h i c h t h e r e were f i v e l a d d u . She b r o k e one and f e d some o f t h e swee t t o D a r s h a n . N e x t , t h e women e a c h r o s e by t u r n and c i r c l e d h e r head w i t h money and p u t i t i n t o h e r l a p . - 115 -The women sang t h e s a d q e e t t h r o u g h o u t t h e e v e n i n g . They l e f t a t 2 : 3 0 a . m . D a r s h a n ' s n e w l y m a r r i e d c o u s i n (FZD) s t a y e d t h e n i g h t w i t h h e r and t h e y s a t up and t a l k e d a b o u t o l d t i m e s , a n d g o s s i p e d a b o u t s c h o o l chums (Da rshan t o l d me l a t e r ) . A b o v e , I have d e s c r i b e d t h e r i t u a l b a t h i n g o f t h e b r i d e a s i t was t o l d t o me f i r s t , by D a r s h a n , and l a t e r by h e r mo the r and S u r j i t . I t was c h e c k e d s t i l l l a t e r , when we l o o k e d a t t h e c o l o u r e d p h o t o g r a p h s o f t h e e v e n t . (The p h o t o g r a p h as document and as a c h e c k s h o u l d n o t be o v e r l o o k e d . ) The l i s t o f D a r s h a n ' s g i f t s was c a r e f u l l y c o n s t r u c t e d by D a r s h a n , h e r m o t h e r and I. S i n c e I c o u l d no t a t t e n d t h e n a i t h o i , I had r e f l e c t e d on p a s t e v e n t s . From my f i e l d n o t e s o f A p r i l 2 5 , 1 9 8 1 , I remember p a r t s o f S i k h w e d d i n g s I a t t e n d e d when I was a c h i l d a n d a young t e e n a g e r . One was t h e w e d d i n g o f a f r i e n d on L u l u I s l a n d . A m a r r i a g e had been a r r a n g e d be tween a l o c a l S i k h woman and a man f r o m t h e U n i t e d S t a t e s . The t h i n g s t h a t s t a n d o u t i n my m ind a r e t h e b a t h i n g o f t h e b r i d e as a " r i t u a l " . She was s e a t e d i n a l a r g e g a l v a n i z e d t u b and two women b a t h e d h e r . I remember t h a t t h e y r u b b e d a f l o u r and w a t e r p a s t e - l i k e s u b s t a n c e o v e r h e r f a c e and s h o u l d e r s and washed t h a t o f f . I t s t a y e d i n my m i n d b e c a u s e I was c o n c e r n e d f o r h e r , t h e r e she s a t , c r y i n g , b e f o r e a l l o f u s , s l i g h t l y s c r e e n e d o f f by a t o w e l . - 116 -I t was d u r i n g t h e same w e d d i n g t h a t I saw t h e women d a n c e and s i n g . They were c a r e f u l t o p u l l t h e - b l i n d s and c u r t a i n s s o t h a t no one c o u l d s e e i n t o t h e h o u s e . Then t h e y b e g a n t o ' n a u t c h ' . I t was f r o m t h i s w e d d i n g t h a t I remember my i m p r e s s i o n , r e i n f o r c e d by comments made by my mo the r and a u n t s , a b o u t t h e awkward s i t u a t i o n women g o t i n t o when s i n g i n g t h e b v o l e a , t h e bawdy r e f r a i n s w h i c h were made up impromptu a b o u t t h e v a r i o u s p e o p l e who a r e t h e p r i m a r y ' a c t o r s ' i n t h e w e d d i n g p e r f o r m a n c e , and s o m e t i m e s , a b o u t t h e b r i d e ' s new a f f i n a l r e l a t i v e s . The songs a r e u s u a l l y a two o r t h r e e l i n e r e f r a i n , w h i c h t h r o u g h t h e u s e o f me tapho r o r amb iguous e x p r e s s i o n ( d o u b l e e n t e n d r e ) s u g g e s t s o m e t h i n g o f a s e n s u a l n a t u r e a b o u t someone. I f y o u a r e good a t m a k i n g up t h e s o n g s , you p r o v i d e a good d e a l o f f u n and l a u g h t e r f o r t h e women i n t h e i m m e d i a t e s i t u a t i o n . B u t , l a t e r , t h i s a p t i t u d e may p r o v o k e g o s s i p . T h e r e was an ' u n d e r s t a n d i n g ' t h a t t h e songs w o u l d n o t be r e t o l d i n i n a p p r o p r i a t e s e t t i n g s , b u t somet imes t h e y w e r e . T h e r e f o r e , a y o u n g e r woman, a l t h o u g h she may have had t h e a p t i t u d e t o make up s o n g s , was more c a r e f u l o f t h e c o n t e n t o f h e r b v o l e t h a n was t h e o l d e r woman. The o l d e r woman had l e s s t o f e a r i n t h e way o f g o s s i p i f t h e song was r e t o l d o u t s i d e o f o r i g i n a l s e t t i n g . T h e r e was t h e a s s u m p t i o n t h a t d u r i n g h e r l i f e s h e h a d a c q u i r e d a g r e a t d e a l o f l i f e e x p e r i e n c e . A y o u n g e r woman was e x p e c t e d t o be modes t and t o a t l e a s t e x h i b i t an u n a w a r e n e s s o f t h e i m p r o p r i e t i e s m e n t i o n e d i n t h e s o n g s . - 117 -Some o f t h e more d a r i n g young men w o u l d t r y t o g e t n e a r enough t o t h e house t o h e a r t h e s o n g s , so t h e s i n g e r s were a l w a y s a l i t t l e a p p r e h e n s i v e . The women a l w a y s p u t p r e s s u r e on e a c h o t h e r t o g e t up and p a b v o l e (pa = p u t i n , b v o l e = t o s p e a k ) . I f a l l t h e women were i m p l i c a t e d , t h e n t h e r e was l e s s t o f e a r i n t h e way o f g o s s i p . My i m p r e s s i o n f r o m l i s t e n i n g t o t h e b v o l e a f r o m I n d i a , r e c o r d e d i n M a r c h , i s t h a t t h e r e i s a s e n s e o f g r e a t e r f r eedom o f e x p r e s s i o n i n t h a t s e t t i n g . M a s i - j i s a i d t h e young women i n I n d i a , l e a r n them i n s c h o o l now. Of c o u r s e , t h e c o n t e n t i s q u i t e d i f f e r e n t . P e r h a p s t h e e a r l y i m m i g r a n t women were more i n h i b i t e d by t h e i r s m a l l numbers . T h e r e were o n l y a b o u t t w e l v e women i n a l l a t t h e wedd ing I am r e c a l l i n g . A l s o , t h e i m m i g r a n t s were m o s t l y o f t h e same age g r o u p , s o t h e y we re m i s s i n g t h e u n i n h i b i t e d o l d e r women and were i n a s e n s e r e p l a c i n g them i n t h e s e a c t i o n s . I can remember t h e women c o n s u l t i n g e a c h o t h e r a b o u t how t o do c e r t a i n t h i n g s and how t h e r e were a d a p t i v e s t r a t e g i e s b e i n g d e v e l o p e d a l l o f t h e t i m e , as t h e r e a r e t o d a y . I n t h e e a r l y ' 4 0 ' s , t h e war y e a r s , t h e m a j o r i t y o f women b e i n g f a i r l y young had t o r e l y n o t on a g r e a t r e s e r v e o f know ledge w h i c h i s t h e p r o p e r t y o f many e l d e r women i n I n d i a , b u t on t h e i m p e r f e c t know ledge o f t h e i r own f e w . - 118 -Summary I n t h i s c h a p t e r , I have' d e s c r i b e d t h e ma in sagan ( r i t e s ) 19 w h i c h p r e c e d e d t h e C a n a d i a n P u n j a b i S i k h w e d d i n g o f my n i e c e D a r s h a n . A l t h o u g h one o r s e v e r a l o f t h e s e s a g a n may be o m i t t e d , and i n f a c t a r e . f o r l e s s f o r m a l w e d d i n g s , t h e b e t r o t h a l sagan d e s c r i b e d i n t h e p r e v i o u s c h a p t e r and t h e n a i t h o i p r e s e n t e d h e r e , a r e s e l d o m l e f t o u t . The e l a b o r a t e n e s s o f t h e i r c e l e b r a t i o n w i l l o f c o u r s e d i f f e r a c c o r d i n g t o t h e w e a l t h o r t h e w i s h e s o f t h e f a m i l y . - 119 -FOOTNOTES Sagan a r e l i f e c y c l e r i t u a l s w h i c h a r e p e r f o r m e d a t v a r i o u s t i m e s i n a p e r s o n ' s l i f e . Those m e n t i o n e d h e r e a r e some o f t h e s a g a n p e r f o r m e d a t t h e t i m e o f b e t r o t h a l and m a r r i a g e b y t h e P u n j a b i S i k h s f r o m t h e a r e a c l o s e t o and i n F e r o z e p u r d i s t r i c t o f P u n j a b , I n d i a . These r i t e s a r e n o t r e l i g i o u s l y p r e s c r i b e d , i n f a c t t h e y a p p e a r t o be " s e c u l a r " r i t e s . I n t h e i n t e r e s t s o f o u r ' t r u t h s ' one c a n , i n t h e f i e l d work s i t u a t i o n , k e e p up a r u n n i n g s e t o f s u b s i d i a r y n o t e s c o r r e c t i n g f i r s t i m p r e s s i o n s . J u s t a few weeks l a t e r , I am t o f i n d t h a t t h i s a c c o u n t c o n t a i n s a p e r f e c t i l l u s t r a t i o n o f i m p r e s s i o n management w h i c h I had n o t y e t p e n e t r a t e d . The ' c l o s e n e s s ' and ' f o n d n e s s ' w h i c h I o b s e r v e d was p e r h a p s a p a r t o f t h e s a g a n and t h e w i s h t o p r o v i d e a good a tmosphe re f o r good omens, a n d / o r a u n i t e d f r o n t t o me. L a t e r , I f o u n d t h e r e a r e some t e n s i o n s i n t h e f a m i l y r e l a t i o n s . A s i n any f a m i l y t h e r e a r e u n d e r l y i n g c o n f l i c t s . I s t i l l do n o t know s p e c i f i c a l l y what t h e y a r e , b u t I have been t o l d how t h e y a r e m a n i f e s t e d ( t h i s was a p e r s o n a l c o m m u n i c a t i o n by a n o t h e r f a m i l y member ) . As w e l l , t h e r e have been g u a r d e d r e m a r k s by o t h e r s . I d o u b t i f any ' o u t s i d e r ' w i l l t e l l me b e c a u s e I am c o n s i d e r e d an ' i n s i d e r ' o f my f a m i l y by o t h e r S i k h f a m i l i e s . T h e r e may b e two e v e n t s embedded i n t h e c o n t e x t o f t h i s s a g a n . F i r s t , t h e m a i a n s a g a n , and a s e c o n d e v e n t s i g n a l l i n g a change i n t h e s t a t u s o f G u r d i a l ' s l i n e a g e v i s a v i s o u r s . To e x p l a i n t h e l a t t e r , when a woman m a r r i e s , h e r p a r e n t s and f a m i l y , do n o t v i s i t h e r . I f t h e y d o , t h e y a r e c a r e f u l no t t o t a k e a n y t h i n g f r o m t h e v i l l a g e she m a r r i e s i n t o , i n f a c t t h e y r a r e l y a c c e p t e d even f o o d o r w a t e r f r o m h e r a f f i n e s . T r a d i t i o n a l l y , o n l y t h e b r o t h e r ( s ) went t o h e r h u s b a n d ' s home, and t h e n u s u a l l y o n l y t o t a k e h e r b a c k t o v i s i t h e r p a r e n t ' s home (he r p a k e ) . However , once she r e a c h e s an age where she has r e a r e d h e r c h i l d r e n t o m a r r i a g e a b l e a g e , t h e r e i s an end t o t h i s asymmet ry . T h u s , I t h i n k t h a t when t h e b r o t h e r , h i s mo the r and s i s t e r have t h i s m e a l i n G u r d i a l ' s home on t h i s o c c a s i o n , i t s i g n i f i e s an end t o t h e i n f e r i o r i t y o r asymmet ry i n t h e r e l a t i o n s h i p s be tween t h e i r v i l l a g e as w i f e - g i v e r s and o u r s as w i f e - r e c e i v e r s . W i t h t h i s w e d d i n g t h e nanke have d i s c h a r g e d t h e i r d e b t t o t h e i r d a u g h t e r ( G u r d i a l ) , and h e r b r o t h e r s have d i s c h a r g e d t h e i r d e b t t o t h e i r s i s t e r ' s d a u g h t e r . As I have s t a t e d p r e v i o u s l y , t h e d a u g h t e r ' s c l a i m t o h e r f a t h e r ' s p r o p e r t y seems t o be t w o -g e n e r a t i o n a l . I do n o t know i f t h i s l a t t e r e v e n t i s ' r a t i o n a l i z e d ' , b u t i t a p p e a r e d t o me t h a t t h e m e a l was s e r v e d as i f i t had s p e c i a l s i g n i f i c a n c e . - 120 -The women u s e t h e E n g l i s h work ' s u i t ' when r e f e r r i n g t o a P u n j a b i cos tume c o n s i s t i n g o f a s a l v a r Ca f u l l p a n t - l i k e g a r m e n t ) , a k u r t i Ca s h i r t — l i k e t u n i c l e n g t h , t o p ) , and a c h u n i Ca s h a w l , somet imes r e f e r r e d t o as a d u p a t t a by H i n d u s and E a s t e r n P u n j a b i p e o p l e ) . I n t h e v i l l a g e s i n P u n j a b w h i c h I v i s i t e d i n 1 9 7 9 , v e r y few o f t h e women made t h e t r a d i t i o n a l h a n d c r a f t s . The young women were a t t e n d i n g s c h o o l and d i d n o t have t i m e t o make them. More i m p o r t a n t l y , w i t h t e x t i l e m i l l s p r o d u c i n g f a b r i c s w h i c h a r e more h i g h l y v a l u e d , t h e hand loomed and d y e d i t e m s a r e n o t p r o d u c e d . They d i d n o t l a s t a s w e l l , were d i f f i c u l t t o m a i n t a i n , t h e c o l o u r s r a n and f a d e d . The young women p r i z e t h e s y n t h e t i c f a b r i c s . A g o l d ' s e t ' a s i t i s c a l l e d , u s u a l l y c o n s i s t s o f a n e c k l a c e , e a r r i n g s a n d a r i n g . I t has o c c u r r e d t o me t h a t p a l i may be a c o n t r a c t i o n o f t h e word p a r l l i m e a n i n g t o have f i n i s h e d r a i s i n g ( f e m a l e gende r ) r e f e r r i n g t o a p e r s o n . I have n o t a s k e d an i n f o r m a n t b e c a u s e u s u a l l y t h e y a g r e e i f I s u g g e s t i t may be t h e c a s e . I was n o t g i v e n a m e a n i n g f o r p a l i , o t h e r t h a n t h a t i t i s a s a g a n . T h i s use o f u n e v e n numbers o c c u r s o v e r and o v e r a g a i n i n many c o n t e x t s . When I was g i v e n l a d d u t o t a k e home, G u r d i a l a s k e d me how many I w a n t e d . I r e p l i e d " O h , o n e - h a l f d o z e n " . She s a i d , " N o , y o u n e v e r t a k e s i x , t a k e - s e v e n o r t a k e n i n e " . The p a l i , f o r i n s t a n c e , was t a k e n o v e r f i v e days b e f o r e t h e w e d d i n g . (Dr . B r e n d a Beck h a s t o l d me t h i s usage o f uneven numbers i s p a n - I n d i a n ) . Somet imes a neonda ' c o m e s ' as an i n v i t a t i o n t o a m e a l , i n w h i c h c a s e one r e c i p r o c a t e s a t a l a t e r d a t e . M o s t o f t h e a v a i l a b l e women work a t l o c a l c a n n e r i e s , on s h i f t w o r k . A s I have n o t e d b e f o r e , most o f t h e work o f c o o k i n g a t t h e i m p o r t a n t e v e n t s , p r e p a r i n g f o o d s s u c h as t h e ' s w e e t s ' , w h i c h i s done i n I n d i a by a p a r t i c u l a r c a s t e , becomes t h e work o f women i n C a n a d a . The women comment on t h i s q u i t e f r e q u e n t l y . I t i s i n t h e s e s i t u a t i o n s t h a t we s e e t h a t S i k h women have t h e power t o i n i t i a t e d i r e c t and c a r r y o u t much o f t h e a c t i v i t y f r o m t h e b e t r o t h a l t h r o u g h t o t h e wedd ing i t s e l f . The f o o d p r e p a r a t i o n and o t h e r s i m i l a r i n s t a n c e s draw S i k h women t o g e t h e r i n Canada and some s e m b l a n c e o f t h e u n i t y o f women i n I n d i a i s r e t a i n e d h e r e i n s p i t e o f t h e d i v i s i v e f o r c e s s u c h as n u c l e a r f a m i l y l i f e , and t h e e n t r a n c e o f S i k h women i n t o t h e l a b o u r f o r c e . - 121 -Be r reman sums t h i s up w i t h : B e h a v i o r t h a t d i f f e r s b e f o r e d i f f e r e n t a u d i e n c e s i s e q u a l l y r e v e a l i n g , e q u a l l y t r u e , i n e a c h c o n t e x t . . . F r o m h i s b e h a v i o r , i n f e r e n c e s c a n be drawn a b o u t t h e n a t u r e o f t h e p r e s s u r e s upon h im i n e a c h s i t u a t i o n and u l t i m a t e l y a b o u t t h e s o c i a l s y s t e m i n w h i c h he f u n c t i o n s , i f n o t a b o u t t h e ' t r u e 1 f e e l i n g s he h a r b o u r s . ( B e r r e m a n , B M A - 3 9 3 , p . 2 4 ) I t h i n k t h e women a t t h i s shower p e r c e i v e me a s an ' e d u c a t e d , u r b a n e , o u t s i d e r 1 . I want t o e m p h a s i z e h e r e , what I showed d i a g r a m m a t i c a l l y i n C h a p t e r I I , t h a t o u r ' v i l l a g e s ' and t h e i r b o u n d a r i e s c o g n a t i v e l y e x t e n d and encompass us as i f we were i n o u r v i l l a g e s i n I n d i a - t h i s i s r e a l , i t i s encoded i n t h e way o f t a l k i n g and i t i s n a t u r a l t o make r e f e r e n c e s s u c h as t h e woman o f o u r ' p i n d ' ( v i l l a g e ) , h e r e i n C a n a d a , r e f e r r i n g t o t h e l o c a t i o n i n I n d i a . I have come t o r e a l i z e how much o f t h i s i s u n c o n s c i o u s . T h i s c o n s t i t u t e s p a r t o f h e r d o w r y , and as shown above i t i s g i v e n by a w i d e r a n g e o f k i n s m e n . T h e y , i n t u r n w i l l be e n t i t l e d , t o a s s i s t a n c e a t t h e m a r r i a g e s o f t h e i r c h i l d r e n , b o t h m a t e r i a l and i n t e r m s o f l a b o u r d u r i n g t h e p r e p a r a t i o n o f t h e s a g a n ( r i t e s ) , and a t t h e t e m p l e m e a l . T h i s d e t a i l e d i n f o r m a t i o n and t h e f o l l o w i n g f o o t n o t e a r e a r e s p o n s e t o q u e s t i o n s r a i s e d by D r . C y r i l B e l s h a w . A f t e r m a r r i a g e , t h e g o l d j e w e l r y and a woman's p e r s o n a l e f f e c t s a r e p a r t o f h e r p r o p e r t y . The money r e c e i v e d a t t h e v a r i o u s sagan and l a t e r , a t t h e t e m p l e ; t h e v e h i c l e and o t h e r g i f t s become p a r t o f t h e c o n j u g a l e s t a t e . A m a j o r d i f f e r e n c e be tween a C a n a d a - b o r n - a n d - r a i s e d S i k h woman and h e r I n d i a n c o u n t e r p a r t s h o u l d be p o i n t e d o u t a g a i n . The C a n a d a - b o r n woman has p u t t h e money i n t o a j o i n t a c c o u n t f o r she knows how, and does t h e b a n k i n g . She a l s o knows how t o d r i v e and has a r r a n g e d t h e l i c e n s i n g and i n s u r a n c e f o r t h e c a r . She w i l l s e e t o i t , t o o , t h a t t h e common p r o p e r t y i s l e g a l l y c o n j u g a l . I n t h i s way she c a n m a i n t a i n some power i n t h e i r l i f e c h o i c e s and d e c i s i o n - m a k i n g . An I n d i a - b o r n - a n d - r a i s e d woman c a n o n l y assume t h e p r o p e r t y i s c o n j u g a l . I n t h e e a r l y y e a r s she w o u l d n o t know how t o e f f e c t j o i n t o w n e r s h i p , a n d s h e i s a d e p e n d e n t i n t h e w i d e s t s e n s e o f t h e t e r m . . .Her p o s i t i o n v i s a v i s t h e i r e s t a t e i s l e g a l l y d i s p r o p o r t i o n a t e t o s a y t h e l e a s t . E i t h e r t h i s i s a c o n t r a c t i o n o f two words - _ a - b a t h e , t h o - w a s h , o r and more p r o b a b l y , i t c o u l d r e f e r t o t h e w a t e r t h e n a i ( b a r b e r c a s t e ) t r a d i t i o n a l l y d raws f o r t h e b r i d e ' s b a t h and f o r w h i c h he i s g i v e n money. The l a t e r i s p r o b a b l y t h e c a s e b e c a u s e I was g i v e n t h i s i n f o r m a t i o n i n a n o t h e r c o n t e x t as w e l l . - 1 2 2 -A l t h o u g h e a c h r i t e i s p r e s e n t e d i n t h i s t h e s i s as a s e p a r a t e e v e n t (and s o m e t i m e s , s e v e r a l d a y s l a p s e i n b e t w e e n ) , i t o c c u r s o f c o u r s e i n t h e w i d e r c o n t e x t u a l s e t t i n g o f e v e r y d a y e v e n t s i n t h e l i f e o f a S i k h f a m i l y . Some p e o p l e go t o t h e i r j o b s i n b a n k s , c a n n e r i e s , m i l l s o r f a r m s . W h i l e on t h e f a m i l y f a r m A r j u n and t h e h i r e d f a r m l a b o u r e r s a t t e n d t o t h e m a i n t e n a n c e o f a c r e s o f s t r a w b e r r i e s and r a s p b e r r i e s . C h i l d r e n a t t e n d i n g s c h o o l s a r e t a k e n t o t h e bus s t o p , o r t o s c h o o l and t o o t h e r o f t h e i r a c t i v i t i e s s u c h as Kung Fu l e s s o n s o r t o p i a n o l e s s o n s . The women a t home, w a s h , i r o n , sweep , c l e a n and cook as u s u a l . A n d , t h e y p r e p a r e f o r t h e e v e n t s p r e s e n t e d h e r e . - 123 -CHAPTER I I I THE SHADI (WEDDING), I n t h e p r e v i o u s c h a p t e r s I d e s c r i b e d how m a r r i a g e s a r e a r r a n g e d by C a n a d i a n P u n j a b i S i k h s and how a number o f p r e - w e d d i n g r i t u a l s a r e c o n d u c t e d by women, c e n t e r i n g on t h e home, t h e p r i v a t e s p h e r e o f l i f e , as t h e f o c a l p o i n t f o r t h e i r p e r f o r m a n c e . I n t h e s e r i t e s t h e p a r t i c i p a n t s we re s e l e c t e d by t h e b r i d e ' s f a m i l y f r o m t h e i r c l o s e s t k i n . As s t a t e d b e f o r e , t h e s e r i t e s a p p e a r t o have an a n c i e n t o r i g i n , t h e y do n o t i n v o k e t h e power o f any d e i t y , t h e i r e x p e c t e d outcome i s good f o r t u n e i n t h e l i f e o f t h e b r i d e - t o - b e . I n t h i s c h a p t e r , t h e w e d d i n g c e l e b r a t i o n i s d e s c r i b e d . F o l l o w i n g t h e g e n e r a l f o r m a t d e v e l o p e d i n t h e p r e c e d i n g c h a p t e r s , t h e w e d d i n g , and t h e p o s t - w e d d i n g r i t u a l s ( a t t h e home o f t h e b r i d e ) , a r e t h e c o n c l u d i n g p a r t s i n t h i s c u l t u r a l p e r f o r m a n c e . As i n t h e p r e c e d i n g ' a c t s ' , I w i l l p r e s e n t t h e s c e n e a n d t h e p e r f o r m e r s . F i r s t , and as p r o l o g u e , t h e p h y s i c a l l a y o u t and t h e s o c i a l c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s o f t h e t e m p l e a r e d e s c r i b e d (see I l l u s t r a t i o n I V ) . The S i k h t e m p l e p r e s e n t e d h e r e i s a t w o - s t o r e y wood f rame b u i l d i n g w h i c h h o u s e s t h e k i t c h e n s and t h e d i n i n g rooms on t h e l o w e r f l o o r , and t h e t e m p l e on t h e s e c o n d f l o o r . T h i s t e m p l e f o l l o w s one o f t h e i m p o r t a n t c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s o f t h e H a r i M a n d i r (Go lden Temple) a t A m r i t s a r , I n d i a , as w e l l as many o t h e r S i k h t e m p l e s , i n t h e p l a c e m e n t o f f o u r d o o r s e n t e r i n g i n t o t h e t e m p l e a r e a . These d o o r s s i g n i f y t h a t S i k h i s m i s open t o p e o p l e o f a l l f o u r c a s t e s . A t t h i s p a r t i c u l a r t e m p l e , h o w e v e r , t h e s e d o o r s a r e now f r e q u e n t l y k e p t l o c k e d b e c a u s e - 124 -P r i e s t Pans of-Prashad Cloth covered area f or donations Bench Shoes " 7 T A Guru Granth Sahib V •Musicians Bridegroom Bridesmaids Box with scarves -(head coverings) Second Floor Plan of Sikh Temple ILLUSTRATION IV - 125 -t h e y open i n w a r d s d i s t u r b i n g t h o s e a l r e a d y s e a t e d i n s i d e . T h i s i s a r e c e n t d e v e l o p m e n t and a r e s p o n s e t o t h e c rowded t e m p l e f a c i l i t i e s ; t h i s c o n g r e g a t i o n h a s i n c r e a s e d i n s i z e s i g n i f i c a n t l y i n t h e p a s t few y e a r s . The back o f t h e t e m p l e i s r a i s e d t h r e e s t e p s above t h e f l o o r where t h e c o n g r e g a t i o n s i t s . A r a i s e d , c a n o p i e d d a i s i s c e n t e r e d h e r e and i s t i e r e d down t h e u n d e r l y i n g s t a i r s . A t t h e f o o t o f t h i s , a s a c r e d c l o t h i s s p r e a d f o r d o n a t i o n s f r om t h e c o n g r e g a t i o n . On t h e d a i s , c o v e r e d w i t h an a l t a r c l o t h , i s t h e S r i G u r u G r a n t h S a h i b . Guru G o b i n d S i n g h ( the 1 0 t h and l a s t o f t h e human g u r u s ) , i n s t i t u t i o n a l i z e d t h e S r i Gu ru G r a n t h S a h i b ( the s a c r e d t e x t ) , and t h e K h a l s a ( the c o n g r e g a t i o n ) , t o be t h e Guru o f t h e S i k h s , a f t e r h i s d e a t h ( t h u s e n d i n g g u r u s h i p by s u c c e s s i o n ) . S i n c e t h a t t i m e , S i k h s do n o t have an h i e r a r c h i c a l e c c l e s i a s t i c a l s t r u c t u r e . U s u a l l y , i n a t e m p l e , a g y a n i (a l e a r n e d p e r s o n ) o r a g a r a n t h i (a p e r s o n l e a r n e d i n t h e s c r i p t u r e s ) r e a d s t h e S r i Gu ru G r a n t h S a h i b , a s s i s t e d by a number o f l a y r e a d e r s . The m u s i c i a n s , o t h e r l a y p r i e s t s , and t h e a t t e n d a n t s s i t n e a r t h e s t a i r s c l o s e t o t h e Gu ru G r a n t h S a h i b and t h e o f f i c i a t i n g p r i e s t . On t h e l e f t o f t h e d a i s , a r e t h e pans f u l l o f p r a s h a d ( d e g h ) , w h i c h w i l l be s e r v e d t o t h e c o n g r e g a t i o n a t t h e c l o s e o f t h e s e r v i c e . On t h e r i g h t o f t h e d a i s , on t h e p l a t f o r m a r e a above t h e t h r e e s t e p s , i s a m i c r o p h o n e . A n d , d u r i n g a w e d d i n g , t h e s i k h i a and o t h e r poems and s t o r i e s a r e p r e s e n t e d f r o m t h i s l o c a t i o n . A f t e r t h e r e a d i n g o f t h e G u r u G r a n t h S a h i b has b e e n c o m p l e t e d t h e s e c u l a r p a r t o f t h e p r o c e e d i n g s a r e u s u a l l y c o n d u c t e d f r om h e r e ; t h e d o n a t i o n s r e a d o u t , and t h e t h r e e -- 126 -man temple committee may r a i s e any temple business which needs to be brought before the congregation. In the temple, men s i t on the r i g h t hand side facing the dais; women and young children are seated on the l e f t . Older male c h i l d r e n frequently s i t with t h e i r fathers but are free to move back and f o r t h between t h e i r parents. During the long temple service, people s h i f t p o s i t i o n s or otherwise go i n and out of the temple as they have the need. Mothers often take ch i l d r e n out part way through a service; many other people such as those preparing and serving the langar (communal meal) w i l l come upstairs to partake i n at le a s t a part of the temple service, leaving i n time to r e l i e v e others i n the kitchens and dining rooms, who may want to do the same. Sometimes, too, an older s i b l i n g w i l l be seen taking a fussy younger one outside f o r a walk or a drink of water. Rarely i s there si l e n c e i n the temple. Usually a s o f t hum pervades the temple service, as people come and go, s h i f t p o s i t i o n s , greet one another, b r i e f l y v i s i t , pass on messages, etc. Sometimes i f a crying c h i l d i s becoming bothersome to the congregation, one of the lay attendants w i l l speak up over the intonation of the p r i e s t , and suggest that the mother of the fussy c h i l d take i t outside. She may or may not comply, depending on whether she can quiet the c h i l d with a toy or a milk b o t t l e . Sikhism i s open to a l l four castes, and to people from a l l four d i r e c t i o n s of the world. Nevertheless, there are some pr e s c r i p t i o n s f o r Sikhs which were i n s t i t u t e d by Guru Gobind Singh (1666-1708). He asked Sikhs to wear the f i v e K's: kes, unshorn hair ; kanga, a comb to keep the h a i r i n place and to keep i t clean; kara, a s t e e l bracelet, - 127 -a symbol of God; kacha, or drawers to symbolize chastity; and kirpan, a sword or dagger to symbolize Sikhs resistance to e v i l . Most B.C. Sikhs show an e l e c t i v e a f f i n i t y 1 to the f i v e K's, and t h i s i s seen most c l e a r l y at the temple. There are signs outside the temple which say that anyone attending a r e l i g i o u s service :nust- have a head covering, and take t h e i r shoes o f f before entering the temple. Intoxicants and cigar e t t e s and t h e i r use are also proscribed for anyone entering the temple. Outside the main entrance to the temple i s a box containing assorted clo t h s , scarves and handkerchiefs which may be used as a head covering by those who d i d not bring t h e i r own. During the 1940's and 1950's men who had cut t h e i r h a i r could enter the temple with uncovered heads although there was some negative comment about i t . Now the r u l e i s s t r i c t l y enforced by the members of the congregation and the p r i e s t s . When I asked about t h i s , a twenty-f i v e year o l d woman said : The p r i e s t s want us to follow the .rules, i t i s more s t r i c t now...five years ago Sant Singh came and spoke to us, many people rejoined the r e l i g i o n - they drank amirt, and have l e t t h e i r h a i r grow again...since then we have been t o l d to follow our r e l i g i o n more c l o s e l y . Most people do want to follow the rules of the temple, as evidenced by the f a c t that most or a l l of the men that I saw i n the temple wore head coverings. Although the majority had t h e i r h a i r cut, they covered i t with a square scarf or handkerchief folded i n h a l f (forming a tri a n g l e ) with the ends t i e d together at the back. Of the s i x t y or more men i n the congregation i n the photographs of the wedding - 128 -a t l e a s t f o r t y h a v e t h i s t y p e o f h e a d c o v e r i n g , w h i l e t h e r e m a i n i n g t w e l v e o r f i f t e e n a r e w e a r i n g t u r b a n s . One f o r t y - f i v e y e a r o l d ma le i n f o r m a n t t o l d me t h a t t h e men w i t h t h e i r h a i r c u t d i d a t one t i m e t i e t u r b a n s i f t h e y were g o i n g t o t h e t e m p l e , b u t now, most o f t h e y o u n g e r men p r e f e r t h e s c a r f - i t f l a t t e n s t h e h a i r l e s s . I t h i n k t h a t v e r y few o f t h e C a n a d a - b o r n and r a i s e d men w o u l d have t h e e x p e r t i s e t o t i e a t u r b a n - t h a t i s an a r t i n i t s e l f . M o s t o f t h e women have l o n g h a i r and wear a s c a r f ( c h u n i ) o v e r t h e i r h e a d s . The c o s t u m e s r a n g e f r o m W e s t e r n d r e s s , t o s a l v a r , k u r t i t o s a r i s . Many men and women wear k a r a s , t h e s t e e l b r a c e l e t s . I am t o l d t h a t some wea r t h e k a c h a ( s h o r t s ) , b u t t h e y a r e p e o p l e who a r e v e r y r e l i g i o u s o r have j u s t come f r o m I n d i a . T h i s i s a v e r y f u l l garment n o t s u i t e d t o wear u n d e r t h e W e s t e r n s t y l e p a n t s wo rn by men. I t does f i t u n d e r t h e women 's s a l v a r w i t h f a i r e a s e . The k i r p a n i s n o t w o r n , b e i n g f o r b i d d e n by C a n a d i a n l a w . I n t h e t e m p l e h o w e v e r , t h e l a y p r i e s t s o r a t t e n d a n t s do somet imes wear them s y m b o l i c a l l y . A l l i n a l l , t h e r e i s a f a i r amount o f d i v e r g e n c e f r o m t h e F i v e K ' s . M o s t o f t h i s d i v e r g e n c e i s by m a l e s who f i n d t h a t a d h e r e n c e t o some o f t h e s y m b o l s h i n d e r s f r e e d o m o f economic a c t i o n ; a n d , b e c a u s e i t make S i k h s h i g h l y v i s i b l e , m i g h t a l s o i n v o k e p r e j u d i c e and d i s c r i m i n a t i o n f r om o t h e r g r o u p s . I n t h e f o r e g o i n g p a r a g r a p h s I have d e s c r i b e d t h e p h y s i c a l l a y o u t , and some o f t h e s o c i a l c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s o f a S i k h t e m p l e and o f S i k h s . W i t h t h i s b a c k g r o u n d I now d e s c r i b e t h e s h a d i (wedding) p r e s e n t i n g f i r s t , t h e s c e n e and t h e c a s t o f c h a r a c t e r s . - 129 -The S c e n e : The t e m p l e as j u s t d e s c r i b e d i s t h e s e t t i n g f o r t h e s h a d i . I t i s e a r l y m o r n i n g . THE SHADI  CAST OF CHARACTERS D a r s h a n H a r j i t S u r j i t D a r s h a n ' s b r o t h e r G u r d i a l K u l d i p A r j u n M a s i - j i D a r s h a n ' s m a t e r n a l g r a n d f a t h e r T h r e e o f D a r s h a n ' s m o t h e r ' s b r o t h e r s and t h e i r w i v e s , and one u n m a r r i e d m o t h e r ' s b r o t h e r D a r s h a n ' s m o t h e r ' s s i s t e r D a r s h a n ' s f a t h e r ' s b r o t h e r s a n d t h e i r w i v e s a n d c h i l d r e n D a r s h a n ' s f a t h e r ' s s i s t e r , h e r h u s b a n d , t h e i r c h i l d r e n , w i t h husbands and c h i l d r e n As w e l l as many o t h e r f r i e n d s and r e l a t i v e s f r om t h e F r a s e r V a l l e y , V a n c o u v e r , New W e s t m i n s t e r , V i c t o r i a , S e a t t l e and M o n t r e a l F i g u r e X I I My f i e l d n o t e s f o r A p r i l 2 5 , 1 9 8 1 , 6 : 3 0 a . m . r e a d : T h i s i s t h e m o r n i n g o f t h e w e d d i n g . The women who a r e h e l p i n g t o p r e p a r e t h e Gu ru k a l a n g a r ( temp le f e a s t ) a r e - 130 -p r o b a b l y a l r e a d y a t t h e t e m p l e m i x i n g t h e k a t a ( s o u r c r e a m , b u t t e r m i l k , p a k o r i a ' s o f t e n e d i n b o i l i n g w a t e r and c o o l e d , and s p i c e s ) , m a k i n g t h e d a i s , t h e dough f o r r o t i s , and t h e swee t s a f f r o n r i c e . My m i d d l e b r o t h e r ' s d a u g h t e r , my y o u n g e s t b r o t h e r ' s w i f e and t h e i r s o n (my n e p h e w ) , and I a r r i v e a t t h e t emp le a t 9 : 3 0 a We go u p s t a i r s i n t o t h e t e m p l e e a r l y , i n o r d e r t o be s e a t e d n e a r t h e f r o n t so I c a n o b s e r v e t h e r i t u a l . The t e m p l e i s s m a l l , i t soon f i l l s up as men, women, and c h i l d r e n , a l o n e and i n s m a l l g r o u p s , w a l k up t h e c e n t e r r u g t o t h e r a i s e d d a i s . H e r e , t h e y p u t t h e i r d o n a t i o n down, k n e e l and t o u c h t h e i r f o r e h e a d s t o t h e f l o o r , s t a n d , j o i n b o t h hands i n b r i e f p r a y e r , and t h e n t u r n t o f i n d s p a c e on t h e c a r p e t e d f l o o r on w h i c h t o s i t . The men s i t on t h e r i g h t f a c i n g t h e d a i s , and t h e women s i t on t h e l e f t . The S r i Gu ru G r a n t h S a h i b t h e h o l y book o f t h e S i k h s , i s on t o p o f t h e r a i s e d p l a t f o r m and i s c o v e r e d w i t h a r e d a l t a r c l o t h . Ove r t h i s i s a c l o t h canopy h e l d up by f o u r wooden p i l l a r s . We s i t a g a i n s t t h e w a l l i n o r d e r t o have a b a c k r e s t , a n o t h e r o f o u r r e a s o n s f o r a r r i v i n g a t t h e t e m p l e e a r l y . S o o n , t h e room i s p a c k e d w i t h p e o p l e . I t b e g i n s t o g e t s t i f l i n g h o t , t h e c h i l d r e n a r e u n c o m f o r t a b l e and s t a r t t o move a b o u t , t h e g e n e r a l amb ience i s one o f e x p e c t a n c y . The women s i t t o g e t h e r , a g a i n s t e a c h o t h e r and even l e a n i n g on t h e k n e e s o f t h o s e b e h i n d , g o o d w i l l p e r m i t t i n g . By 1 0 : 0 0 o ' c l o c k p e o p l e s t a r t t o s h i f t p o s i t i o n s t o r e l i e v e s t i f f n e s s , s t i l l t h e w e d d i n g p a r t y has n o t a r r i v e d . - 131 -When we a r r i v e d a t - 9 : 3 0 , one man was b e g i n n i n g t o p l a y a l o n g i n s t r u m e n t w h i c h l o o k s l i k e two l o n g (28") p i e c e s o f m e t a l a b o u t 2 " i n c h e s w i d e , j o i n e d t o g e t h e r a t one e n d . They e a c h have s m a l l c i r c u l a r c y m b a l - l i k e p i e c e s w e l d e d o n t o them w h i c h when b r o u g h t t o g e t h e r , i s s u e a r i n g i n g , c l a p p i n g s o u n d . The b e a t i s v e r y r e p e t i t i v e , some o f t h e c h i l d r e n a r e a l r e a d y a s l e e p a c r o s s t h e l a p s o f t h e i r m o t h e r s . Soon a drummer j o i n s i n and t o g e t h e r , t h e y s t a r t t o s i n g some s a v a d (hymns) . The groom comes i n a t a b o u t 9 : 4 5 a . m . , l e d by t h e b r i d e ' s m o t h e r ' s b r o t h e r . He ( the groom) has t h e g l i t t e r y f o r e h e a d c o v e r i n g c a l l e d a s e h r a p i n n e d t o h i s t u r b a n , t h e s t r e a m e r s f a l l i n g o v e r h i s f a c e so t h a t we c a n n o t e a s i l y s e e h i s f a c e . He i s s e a t e d on t h e r i g h t , on t h e m e n ' s s i d e o f t h e t e m p l e and » f a c i n g t h e women's s i d e . A t 1 0 : 3 5 a . m . , t h e r e i s a murmur and we know t h e b r i d e ' s , p a r t y h a s a r r i v e d a t t h e t e m p l e . The b r i d e g r o o m i s l e d t o , and s e a t e d b e f o r e t h e G u r u G r a n t h S a h i b and h i s f o r e h e a d c o v e r i n g ( the s e h r a ) i s removed (see I l l u s t r a t i o n V ) - D a r s h a n a r r i v e s w i t h h e r f a t h e r and he g u i d e s h e r a s t h e y p i c k t h e i r way t h r o u g h t h e s e a t e d s a n g a t . D a r s h a n had been a f r a i d o f t h i s , t h a t t h e c o n g r e g a t i o n w o u l d n o t l e a v e t h e a i s l e a r e a open a n d , s u r e e n o u g h , t h e b r i d a l p a r t y a r e h a v i n g t o s t e p a r o u n d t h e p e o p l e s i t t i n g t i g h t l y s e a t e d i n t h e s m a l l t e m p l e . They have a d i f f i c u l t t i m e , t h e y come i n , i n s i n g l e f i l e . D a r s h a n ' s nana (MF) f o l l o w s h e r , h e r f a t h e r p r e c e d e s h e r . He r t h r e e mamian - 132 -ILLUSTRATION V R E M O V I N G T H E S E H R A F R O M T H E B R I D E G R O O M S E A T E D B E F O P E T H E G U R U G R A N T H S A H I B I N T H E T E M P L E - 133 -(MBW's) a r e b e h i n d h e r . The e l d e s t , who i s h e r c h i e f a t t e n d a n t i s w e a r i n g a d a r k b l u e and s i l v e r s i l k s a r i , t h e m i d d l e mami Cwi fe o f m i d d l e MB) w e a r s a r e d and g r e e n p l a i d - l i k e s i l k s a r i w i t h an o v e r a l l f l o r a l d e s i g n . The b r i d e ' s s i s t e r and h e r m a s i (MZ) a r e i n g r e e n a n d p i n k f l o r a l p r i n t e d m a t c h i n g s a r i s . Two l i t t l e f l o w e r g i r l s i n y e l l o w gowns a r e a l r e a d y s e a t e d i n t h e 2 c o n g r e g a t i o n . The m o t h e r o f t h e b r i d e i s w e a r i n g a b l u e and t u r q u o i s e s a l v a r and k u r t i w i t h a m a t c h i n g c h u n i . The b r i d e ' s g r a n d m o t h e r ( n a n i ) i s s e a t e d w i t h u s , as i s my ' c o u s i n ' (DFZ) and h e r t h r e e d a u g h t e r s . The f o u r mame ( m o t h e r ' s b r o t h e r s ) , d r e s s e d i n w h i t e t u x e d o s , come i n a f t e r t h e b r i d e and h e r a t t e n d a n t s . W i t h t h e m , a r e t h e b r i d e ' s young b r o t h e r and one o f h e r c o u s i n s (MBS), d r e s s e d i n maroon t u x e d o s w i t h w h i t e s h i r t s . We were s e a t e d c l o s e b y , b u t a g a i n s t t h e w a l l . When t h e w e d d i n g p a r t y a r r i v e d , t h e y a s k e d me t o s i t w i t h t hem. I t r i e d t o r e f u s e b u t c o u l d n o t , t h e y and t h e o t h e r s a r o u n d them ( the e l d e r l y a u n t s and M a s i - j i ) were i n s i s t e n t , so I moved up and s a t w i t h t h e mamian. T r a d i t i o n a l l y , t h a t i s i n I n d i a , I w o u l d have b e e n l i v i n g i n t h e same house as D a r s h a n and w o u l d have come t o t h e t e m p l e w i t h t h e w e d d i n g p a r t y . Remember ing t h i s , I moved u p ; t o r e f u s e w o u l d have c r e a t e d a f u r t h e r d i s t u r b a n c e and m i g h t a l s o have p r o v o k e d comment a b o u t why I d i d n o t . I was r e l i e v e d t o o b e c a u s e now I c o u l d w a t c h t h e r i t u a l more c l o s e l y . The w e d d i n g s t a r t s when t h e p r i e s t , s e a t e d c r o s s - l e g g e d on t h e d a i s w i t h t h e Guru G r a n t h S a h i b b e f o r e h i m , s t a r t s t o - 134 -r e c i t e a p r a y e r . The b r i d e , h e r a t t e n d a n t , t h e b r i d e g r o o m and t h e b r i d e ' s mo the r s t a n d . T h e n , a f t e r i t i s f i n i s h e d t h e y a r e s e a t e d a g a i n . The p r i e s t u n c o v e r s and b e g i n s t o r e a d f r om t h e Gu ru G r a n t h S a h i b . T h i s w e d d i n g s e r v i c e w i l l be v e r y s h o r t , i t has n o t been t h e u s u a l two o r t h r e e day l o n g c o n t i n u a l r e a d i n g o f t h e Gu ru G r a n t h S a h i b . I was t o l d t h e s e r v i c e had been s t a r t e d a b o u t a y e a r a g o , when H a r j i t ' s a r r i v a l i n Canada had b e e n i m m i n e n t . When i t was l e a r n e d t h a t he w o u l d n o t be a r r i v i n g u n t i l l a t e r , t h e s e r v i c e was s t o p p e d a t a c e r t a i n p o i n t w h i c h was r e c o r d e d and now i t was resumed f r o m t h e r e . S i n c e t h e r e a r e s o many w e d d i n g s and o t h e r phog a t t h e t e m p l e t h e s e d a y s , f a m i l i e s o f t e n have t h e s e r v i c e r e a d ahead o f t i m e ( d u r i n g t h e w e e k ) , w i t h j u s t a s h o r t s e r v i c e l e f t f o r t h e a c t u a l d a y . The p r i e s t i s w e a r i n g a b l u e t u r b a n , a s i g n o f t h e more o r t h o d o x f o l l o w e r s o f S i k h i s m . He i s s i t t i n g c r o s s - l e g g e d b e h i n d t h e G u r u G r a n t h S a h i b . B e h i n d h i m , a man s t a n d s s l o w l y w a v i n g a l o n g s t r a n d e d w h i t e w i s k - l i k e o b j e c t . As t h i s s e c t i o n o f t h e Guru G r a n t h S a h i b i s r e a d and f i n i s h e d , he ends w i t h a 3 " V a h Gu ru Ke K h a l s a , Vah Guru Ke F a t e h " . Then w i t h a s h o r t b e n e d i c t i o n f i r s t , t h e p r i e s t b e g i n s t h e s i k h i a ( t he t e a c h i n g o r i n s t r u c t i o n s t o t h e b r i d e and g r o o m ) , s a y i n g t h i s i s t h e Anand K a r a j (wedding) o f an e d u c a t e d c o u p l e , b o t h o f r e s p e c t e d f a m i l i e s ; i t i s t h e j o i n i n g o f b o t h p a t i c o n c e r n e d , a n d be tween them and t h e Guru G r a n t h S a h i b . He - 135 -w i s h e s them a l o n g f u l l l i f e . He a d d r e s s e s t h e groom and t e l l s h i m t o r e s p e c t and l i s t e n t o h e r p a r e n t s , i t i s h i s d u t y . They a r e t o l d t h e y a r e two s a r i r ( b o d i e s ) w h i c h s i t t o g e t h e r w i t h p i a r ( l o v e ) . The p r i e s t t a l k s a b o u t a p n i j i w a n ( you r l i v e s ) and t e l l s them t o c o n s u l t e a c h o t h e r i f t h e y b o t h have t o work v a r ( o u t s i d e ) away f r o m home. She i s t o l d h e r h u s b a n d i s h e r imam ( t e a c h e r , p r i e s t , l e a d e r ) . She i s t o s e r v e h e r i n - l a w s f o r t h e y a r e h e r p a r e n t s 4 now, h e r s a t h i (he r g r o u p ) , h e r p a t h i ( s i m p l y , h u s b a n d ) . Thus w i l l t h e y p r o s p e r . Then t h e s a v a d (hymns) a r e begun and t h e b r i d e ' s f a t h e r g i v e s h e r one end o f a r e d c l o t h ( p a l l a ) and g i v e s t h e groom t h e o t h e r , t h u s j o i n i n g t hem. The p r i e s t t h e n s a y s , " t h e l a v a n  t h e p a t w i l l b e g i n " . He a d v i s e s t h e b r i d e and groom t o c i r c l e t h e G u r u G r a n t h S a h i b t o t h e i r l e f t ( c l o c k w i s e ) , b r i d e f o l l o w i n g t h e g r o o m , t h e n t o s i t a n d l i s t e n t o t h e p a t ( s e r v i c e ) a f t e r e a c h p h e r a ( c i r c l i n g ) . The l a v a n a r e f o u r m a r r i a g e hymns o r s h o r t c o u p l e t s , composed by G u r u Ram Das ( 1 5 3 4 - 1 5 8 1 ) , f o r t h e c i r c u m a m b u l a t i p n a t S i k h w e d d i n g s . A f t e r e a c h one t h e b r i d e and groom r e t u r n t o t h e i r s t a r t i n g p l a c e and e a c h s a y s a s h o r t p r a y e r . A f t e r t h e p r i e s t r e c i t e s e a c h l a v a n , t h e s i n g e r s s i n g i t t o m u s i c . T h i s happens f o u r t i m e s . As t h e m u s i c and t h e l a v a n t h e p a t b e g i n s , t h e b r i d e ' s u n c l e s and o t h e r c l o s e m a l e r e l a t i v e s a r e s t a n d i n g b e h i n d t h e Guru G r a n t h S a h i b , f a c i n g t h e c o n g r e g a t i o n . A s t h e b r i d e does e a c h p h e r a ( c i r c l i n g ) , f o l l o w i n g t h e g r o o m , h e r r e l a t i v e s t a k e h e r by t h e s h o u l d e r s , e a c h p a s s i n g h e r a l o n g . - 136 -The f o u r m a r r i a g e c o u p l e t s i n E n g l i s h t r a n s l a t i o n a r e as f o l l o w s : THE MARRIAGE HYMNS (LAVAN) h a r p e h l a d i l a n v p a r v i r t By t h e f i r s t n u p t i a l c i r c l i n g The L o r d ^ s h e w t h y e H i s O r d i n a n c e f o r t h e d a i l y d u t i e s o f wedded l i f e : The S c r i p t u r e s a r e t h e Word o f t h e L o r d , L e a r n r i g h t e o u s n e s s f r o m them, And t h e L o r d w i l l f r e e ye f r o m s i n . H o l d f a s t t o r i g h t e o u s n e s s , C o n t e m p l a t e t h e Name o f t h e L o r d , F i x i n g i t i n y o u r memory as t h e s c r i p t u r e s have p r e s c r i b e d . D e v o t e y o u r s e l v e s t o t h e P e r f e c t and T r u e G u r u , A n d a l l y o u r s i n s s h a l l d e p a r t . F o r t u n a t e a r e t h o s e whose m inds A r e imbued w i t h t h e S w e e t n e s s o f H i s Name, To them h a p p i n e s s comes w i t h o u t e f f o r t ; The s l a v e Nanak p r o c l a i m e t h T h a t i n t h e f i r s t c i r c l i n g The m a r r i a g e r i t e h a t h b e g u n . ( i i ) By t h e s e c o n d n u p t i a l c i r c l i n g Ye a r e t o u n d e r s t a n d t h a t t h e L o r d H a t h c a u s e d ye t o meet t h e T r u e G u r u , The f e a r i n y o u r h e a r t s has d e p a r t e d ; The f i l t h o f s e l f n e s s i n y o u r m inds i s washed away , - 137 -By h a v i n g t h e f e a r o f God and by s i n g i n g H i s P r a i s e s . I s t a n d b e f o r e Him w i t h r e v e r e n c e , The L o r d God i s t h e s o u l o f t h e u n i v e r s e : T h e r e i s n a u g h t t h a t He d o t h n o t p e r v a d e . W i t h i n us and w i t h o u t , t h e r e i s One God o n l y : I n t h e c o m p a n y . o f S a i n t s Then a r e h e a r d t h e s o n g s o f r e j o i c i n g . The s l a v e Nanak p r o c l a i m e t h T h a t i n t h e s e c o n d c i r c l i n g D i v i n e M u s i c i s h e a r d . ( i i i ) I n t h e t h i r d c i r c l i n g T h e r e i s a l o n g i n g f o r t h e L o r d A n d d e t a c h m e n t f r o m t h e w o r l d . I n t h e company o f t h e S a i n t s , By o u r g r e a t good f o r t u n e , We e n c o u n t e r t h e L o r d . The L o r d i s f o u n d i n H i s p u r i t y T h r o u g h H i s e x a l t a t i o n , T h r o u g h t h e s i n g i n g o f H i s hymns. By g r e a t good f o r t u n e we have l i g h t e d , On t h e company o f t h e S a i n t s W h e r e i n i s t o l d t h e s t o r y Of t h e I n e f f a b l e L o r d . The H o l y Name e c h o e s i n t h e h e a r t , E c h o e s and a b s o r b s u s : We r e p e a t t h e Name o f t h e L o r d , B e i n g b l e s s e d by a f o r t u n a t e d e s t i n y W r i t t e n f rom o f o l d on o u r f o r e h e a d s . The s l a v e Nanak p r o c l a i m e t h T h a t i n t h e t h i r d c i r c l i n g The l o v e o f God has b e e n awakened i n t h e h e a r t . - 138 -( i v ) I n t h e f o u r t h c i r c l i n g The m i n d r e a c h e s t o know ledge o f t h e D i v i n e and God i s i n n e r l y g r a s p e d : T h r o u g h t h e G r a c e o f t h e G u r u We have a t t a i n e d w i t h e a s e t o t h e L o r d ; The s w e e t n e s s o f t h e B e l o v e d P e r v a d e s u s , body and s o u l . Dea r a n d p l e a s i n g i s t h e L o r d t o u s : N i g h t and day o u r m inds a r e f i x e d on H im. By e x a l t i n g t h e L o r d We have a t t a i n e d t h e L o r d : The f r u i t o f o u r h e a r t s d e s i r e d : The B e l o v e d has f i n i s h e d H i s w o r k . The s o u l , t h e s p o u s e , d e l i g h t e t h i n t h e B e l o v e d ' s Name. F e l i c i t a t i o n s f i l l o u r m i n d s ; The Name r i n g s i n o u r h e a r t s : The L o r d God i s u n i t e d w i t h H i s H o l y B r i d e . The h e a r t o f t h e B r i d e f l o w e r s w i t h H i s Name. The s l a v e Nanak p r o c l a i m e t h T h a t i n t h e f o u r t h c i r c l i n g We have f o u n d t h e E t e r n a l L o r d . ( T r i l o c h a n S i n g h , e t a l , 1973) My n o t e s f o r A p r i l 2 5 , 1981 c o n t i n u e : A f t e r t h e f o u r t h c i r c l i n g and d u r i n g t h e s i n g i n g o f t h e s a v a d (hymns) , t h e p r i e s t b r i n g s t h e m a r r i a g e r e g i s t e r t o t h e c o u p l e s e a t e d once a g a i n b e f o r e t h e G u r u G r a n t h S a h i b . They b o t h s i g n i t , t h e e l d e s t mami w i t n e s s e s t h e s i g n a t u r e . - 139 -I m m e d i a t e l y t h e r e a f t e r , t h e b r i d e and groom exchange w e d d i n g r i n g s . The p r i e s t goes b a c k t o t h e d a i s and t h e n announces t h a t t h e r e w i l l be a number o f t a l k s (songs and a s t o r y ) by f r i e n d s o f t h e f a m i l y , he t h e n r e p e a t s t h i s i n E n g l i s h . As w e l l , he t e l l s t h e c o n g r e g a t i o n t h a t t h e r e i s a G u r u Ka  L a n g a r ( the communal mea l ) r e a d y d o w n s t a i r s . He a s k s t h a t t h e s p e e c h e s be k e p t s h o r t . T h a t t h e y s h o u l d f i n i s h by t w e l v e o ' c l o c k . ( n o o n ) . He t h e n announces t h a t t h e s h a d i ho h a t e ( s h a d i has been f i n i s h e d , t h e w e d d i n g ceremony has been c o m p l e t e d ) . G u r d i a l who h a d been s e a t e d j u s t b e h i n d t h e c o u p l e , r i s e s w i t h t h e many h a r ( g a r l a n d s ) o f t i n s e l and f l o w e r s . She hands them t o c l o s e r e l a t i v e s t o be p u t a r o u n d t h e n e c k s o f t h e b r i d e and g room. Some o f t h e g a r l a n d s o f t i n s e l have p i c t u r e s o f v a r i o u s S i k h Gu rus p e n d a n t f r o m them, o t h e r s have a p o r t r a y a l o f some r e l i g i o u s e v e n t . A f t e r p l a c i n g t h e g a r l a n d s , t h e r e l a t i v e s c i r c l e d f i r s t , t h e g r o o m ' s h e a d w i t h money, t h e n d r o p p i n g i t i n t o h i s l a p , r e p e a t e d t h e p r o c e s s w i t h t h e b r i d e . A f t e r t h i s , t h e r e m a i n i n g f r i e n d s and r e l a t i v e s come up and c i r c l e t h e heads o f t h e young c o u p l e w i t h money. Then t h e s a n g h a t t h e maya ( the d o n a t i o n s f r o m the c o n g r e g a t i o n t o t h e t e m p l e ) a r e a n n o u n c e d . The p r e p a r e d p r o g r a m i s i n t h r e e p a r t s . F i r s t , t h e r e i s a s o n g w h i c h was composed a b o u t t h e g r o o m ' s f a m i l y and a b o u t t h e b r i d e ' s f a m i l y r e s p e c t i v e l y . I n i t , e a c h o f us i s named, and a r e s a i d t o - 140 -have some s p e c i a l a t t r i b u t e w h i c h i s p a r t o f t h e w h o l e t h a t makes up e v e r y t h i n g n e c e s s a r y f o r t h e f a m i l i a l l i f e o f t h e young c o u p l e . The s o n g ; composed by a w e l l - l i k e d f a m i l y f r i e n d , i s v e r y t o u c h i n g . H a r j i t t o l d me l a t e r t h a t t h i s song i s o f t h e g e n r e known as s a r a , a l e s s o n t o t h e g r o o m , j u s t as t h e s i k h i a d u r i n g t h e r e l i g i o u s p a r t o f t h e t e m p l e ceremony i s a d d r e s s e d more t o t h e b r i d e . F o l l o w i n g t h i s l a s t song i s a l o n g m o r a l t a l e a b o u t Guru Amar Das and B i b i Amro . T h i s i s a l e n g t h y p r e s e n t a t i o n , p r e s e n t e d i n a v i g o r o u s s t y l e . P a r t way t h r o u g h i t , someone i n t h e c o n g r e g a t i o n s t o o d up and w i t h hand c l a s p e d i n f r o n t o f h i m a s k e d t h e s p e a k e r t o s h o r t e n i t . T h i s was done p o l i t e l y and w i t h r e s p e c t . The s t o r y - t e l l e r r e p l i e d t h a t i f t h e c o n g r e g a t i o n c o u l d be p r e v a i l e d on t o l i s t e n f o r j u s t t e n m i n u t e s m o r e , he w o u l d be f i n i s h e d . The l a s t p i e c e was an e m o t i o n a l s o n g w h i c h e v e r y o n e e n j o y e d , a b o u t a b r i d e who a s k s h e r f a t h e r n o t t o s e n d h e r away , t o keep h e r home one more d a y . D u r i n g t h i s , I am r e m i n d e d o f t h e power o f r i t u a l t o engage p e o p l e who d i d n o t even want t o come t o t h e w e d d i n g s e r v i c e a t t h e t e m p l e . ( S e v e r a l r e l a t i v e s were p r e v a i l e d upon t o come, i n i t i a l l y t h e y w o u l d have gone o n l y t o t h e r e c e p t i o n . ) F o l l o w i n g t h e e m o t i o n a l s o n g , a n o t h e r s t o r y t e l l e r and s i n g e r a r e h e a r d . Then t h e man who was c o n d u c t i n g t h e ' p r o g r a m ' t h a n k e d t h e s p e a k e r s . Then we a l l s t a n d f o r t h e a r d a s , t h e common p r a y e r w h i c h t h e c o n g r e g a t i o n knows and r e c i t e s w i t h 5 t h e p r i e s t . F o r t h e a r d a s t h e p r i e s t a s k s i f someone w o u l d - 141 -h e l p t h e b r i d e and groom t o s t a n d , t h e y have been s i t t i n g c r o s s - l e g g e d on t h e f l o o r f o r so l o n g t h a t t h e y m i g h t f a l l . The p r i e s t s a y s t h e a r d a s i s f o r t h i s j b o r d e ( p a i r ) . Then t h e p r i e s t s p e a k s a v e r y s h o r t p r a y e r i n v o k i n g t h e b l e s s i n g o f t h e Dasma P a d s h a h ( t e n t h gu ru ) Guru G o b i n d S i n g h . The c o n g r e g a t i o n l o u d l y p r o c l a i m s V a h i G u r u ( p r a i s e G o d ! ) . The p r i e s t b l e s s e s a l l t h e p e o p l e named i n t o d a y ' s w e d d i n g c e l e b r a t i o n . A t t h i s p o i n t h e o n c e a g a i n d e c l a r e s t h e s h a d i i s now c o m p l e t e . A f t e r a s k i n g f o r a b l e s s i n g f o r t h e b r i d e , h e r m o t h e r and f a t h e r , t h e g room, and h i s p a r e n t s , he announces t h e degh ( t he s a c r e m e n t a l f o o d somet imes c a l l e d t h e p r a s h a d ) , i s on t h e i r b e h a l f . The c o n g r e g a t i o n t h e n r e c i t e s a s h o r t p r a y e r w h i c h ends a l l s e r v i c e s . The p r i e s t r e a d s f r o m t h e Gu ru G r a n t h S a h i b . T h i s i s a random s e l e c t i o n , t r a d i t i o n a l l y one w h i c h t h e b r i d e and groom l i s t e n t o v e r y c a r e f u l l y , f o r mean ing f o r t h e i r l i v e s . The p r i e s t l o u d l y s h o u t s Vah Gu ru j i k a K h a l s a ! Vahe Guru j i ke  F a t e h ! A f t e r he h a s s a i d s t i l l a n o t h e r s h o r t p r a y e r , t h e a l t a r c l o t h s d o n a t e d by t h e f a m i l y , t h e r u m a l l a and t h e phuT-k-a a r e p u t on t h e d a i s . Then t h e p r i e s t announces t h a t t h e degh i s s e r v e d , t h u s c l o s i n g t h e t e m p l e c e r e m o n y . I n p r e p a r a t i o n f o r r e c e i v i n g t h e s a c r a m e n t a l o f f e r i n g , 6 e v e r y o n e i s g i v e n a p a p e r n a p k i n (because degh i s v e r y b u t t e r y ) . T h e n , s e v e r a l p a i r s o f men make t h e i r way t h r o u g h t h e c o n g r e g a t i o n ; one h o l d s t h e l a r g e d e g h - f i l l e d pan by t h e h a n d l e s , t h e o t h e r - 142 -s e r v e s t h e degh by h a n d f u l s . The p e o p l e r e c e i v i n g t h e s a c r a m e n t mus t p r e s e n t two hancs cupped t o g e t h e r , as i f i n p r a y e r , t o r e c e i v e i t . The p r i e s t announces a g a i n t h a t t h e communal m e a l i n t h e k i t c h e n i s open t o one and a l l , and r e p e a t s t h i s i n E n g l i s h a n n o u n c i n g i t as " . . . t h e f r e e k i t c h e n , t a k e a c c o r d i n g t o y o u r n e e d s " . Once t h e w e d d i n g s e r v i c e i s c o m p l e t e , many women come up t o t h e r e l a t i v e s w i s h i n g us a l l 7 v a t h e i g n a ( c o n g r a t u l a t i o n s ) . I f e e l q u i t e s u r p r i s e d when I 'm f i r s t c o n g r a t u l a t e d , b u t q u i c k l y r e a l i z e t h a t t h e c o n g r a t u l a t i o n s a r e due t o t h e c l o s e s t r e l a t i v e s , t h e members o f t h e t h r e e l i n e a g e s , t h a t o f t h e b r i d e , t h e m a t e r n a l g r a n d -p a r e n t s and t h a t o f t h e g room. We s t a y s e a t e d f o r a b o u t t e n m i n u t e s w h i l e t h e c rowd comes up and t h e n d i s p e r s e s . I t i s i n t e r e s t i n g t o n o t e t h a t t h e p a r e n t s , m a t e r n a l g r a n d p a r e n t s , m o t h e r ' s b r o t h e r ' s and t h e i r w i v e s , and t h e f a t h e r ' s s i s t e r s a r e a l l i n c l u d e d i n t h o s e t o be c o n g r a t u l a t e d . A c c o r d i n g t o m y ' u n d e r s t a n d i n g , t h e m a r r i a g e i s t h e s o c i a l a c h i e v e m e n t o f t h e l i n e a g e s d i r e c t l y a f f e c t e d , and t h e c o n g r a t u l a t i o n s go t o t h e p e o p l e d i r e c t l y i n v o l v e d and n o t j u s t t o t h e two i n d i v i d u a l s j u s t m a r r i e d . I n f a c t , v e r y l i t t l e i s s a i d t o them a t t h i s p o i n t . A f t e r t h e c o n g r e g a t i o n h a s d i s p e r s e d , some t o v i s i t o u t s i d e , o t h e r s t o go i n t o t h e d i n i n g room f o r t h e l a n g a r ; we , t h e f a m i l y l i n e up on t h e s t a i r c a s e g o i n g i n t o t h e t emp le f o r f a m i l y p h o t o s . We a r e showered w i t h c o n f e t t i by j o y o u s r e l a t i v e s a n d f r i e n d s as t h e p h o t o g r a p h s a r e t a k e n . - 143 -The p h o t o g r a p h e r i s w e l l known and l i k e d i n t h i s commun i t y . To g e t t h e c rowd t o s m i l e he s a y s i n P u n j a b i " E k . . . d o . . . ( o n e , . . . t w o . . . ) " a n d e v e r y o n e s m i l e s a t h i s u s a g e . Or he s a y s " c o c a c o l a ! " w i t h a P u n j a b i a c c e n t , and p e o p l e l a u g h r e c o g n i z i n g t h a t he i s good n a t u r e d l y i m i t a t i n g t h e i r E n g l i s h . They know and f r e q u e n t l y d e a l w i t h h i m so t h e y do n o t m i n d h i s i m i t a t i o n , I l o o k a r o u n d , u n c e r t a i n , t o s e e i f anyone l o o k s a n n o y e d ; no one seems t o m ind a t a l l . T h e n , a f t e r s h a k i n g h a n d s w i t h some o f t h e g u e s t s , t h e w e d d i n g p a r t y l e a v e f o r f o r m a l s t u d i o p h o t o g r a p h s . The r e m a i n i n g c rowd o f r e l a t i v e s and f r i e n d s s p e a k t o one a n o t h e r , v i s i t o r s t a n d w a t c h i n g and t a l k i n g as t h e w e d d i n g c a r s d i s a p p e a r . L a t e r , t h e y t o o w i l l go t o t h e d i n i n g rooms f o r t h e m e a l . The w e d d i n g h a s ended a t c l o s e t o one o ' c l o c k i n t h e a f t e r n o o n . The w e d d i n g p a r t y w i l l r e t u r n t o t h e t e m p l e f o r t h e i r m e a l a f t e r t h e p h o t o g r a p h s have been t a k e n . Many o f t h e p e o p l e l e a v e b e f o r e t h e y come b a c k , t h e w e d d i n g i s o v e r f o r most o f t h e c o n g r e g a t i o n . I go b a c k t o my b r o t h e r 1 s house t o change f o r t h e r e c e p t i o n w h i c h w i l l be h e l d i n honou r o f t h e b r i d e and groom a t t h e b r i d e ' s p a r e n t ' s home l a t e r t h i s a f t e r n o o n . A t t h e i same t i m e I am p a c k i n g my b a g f o r t h e t r i p t o V i c t o r i a where t h e c o u p l e w i l l honeymoon. I w i l l d r i v e them t o V i c t o r i a . - 144 -The Wedd ing R e c e p t i o n The S c e n e : The f a m i l y home as d e s c r i b e d f o r t h e m a i a n s a g a n . The house i s b u s t l i n g w i t h a c t i v i t y . Men a r e s t a n d i n g a r o u n d i n s m a l l g roups o u t s i d e , n e a r t h e l i q u o r b a r t h a t has been s e t u p . The women a r e i n t h e house m a k i n g t e a , s i t t i n g i n t h e k i t c h e n and i n t h e f r o n t room i n g r o u p s o f t h r e e o r f o u r . The b r i d e and groom and t h e a t t e n d a n t s a r r i v e a t a b o u t f o u r o ' c l o c k . THE WEDDING RECEPTION  CAST OF CHARACTERS D a r s h a n H a r j i t D a r s h a n ' s p a r e n t s , s i s t e r and b r o t h e r D a r s h a n ' s g r a n d p a r e n t s , t h e i r s o n s and t h e i r w i v e s and c h i l d r e n K u l d i p D a r s h a n ' s f a t h e r ' s b r o t h e r s , t h e i r w i v e s and c h i l d r e n Many o t h e r r e l a t i v e s a r e p r e s e n t D a r s h a n ' s m o t h e r ' s s i s t e r F i g u r e X I I I - 145 -The f i e l d n o t e s r e a d : A t t h r e e o ' c l o c k t h e r e i s a s m a l l f a m i l y r e c e p t i o n . The w e a t h e r i s a g r e e a b l e , t h e men c o n g r e g a t e o u t s i d e , where a b a r has been s e t up f o r t hem. The women a r e i n t h e h o u s e , c rowded a r o u n d t h e b r i d e g r o o m and t h e b r i d e ' s t h r e e mame ( M B ' s ) . T h e r e i s a good d e a l o f t e a s i n g g o i n g on and t h e b r i d e g r o o m r e p l i e s w i t h good humor . T h i s i s a t r a d i t i o n a l e v e n t , when t h e b r i d e g r o o m i s a t t h e mercy o f t h e women o f t h e b r i d e ' s h o u s e h o l d . I am t o l d t o t e l l h im t h a t he s h o u l d have t a k e n h i s s h o e s o f f b e f o r e coming i n t o t h e h o u s e . He r e p l i e s "I c l e a n e d my shoes A u n t i - j i " . The o t h e r women ch ime i n w i t h c r i t i c i s m s o f h im s u c h as " . . . e v e n t h e c h u r a s and t h e c h a m i a r s know enough t o t a k e t h e i r s h o e s o f f o u t s i d e . " He s i t s s m i l i n g s h e e p i s h l y , u n a b l e t o r e p l y a t once t o a l l o f them and t o a l l o f t h e p l a y f u l c r i t i c i s m . N e x t , one o f h i s w i f e ' s ' s i s t e r s ' ( h i s s a l i ) ( F Z D ) a p p r o a c h e s h i m w i t h a t h a i ( t r a y ) on w h i c h a m e t a l b o w l ( s t a i n l e s s s t e e l ) has been o v e r t u r n e d (see I l l u s t r a t i o n V I ) . He i s a s k e d t o t u r n i t o v e r , r i g h t s i d e u p , u s i n g j u s t thumb and l i t t l e f i n g e r , o f c o u r s e he c a n n o t ( the bowl ) : h a s b e e n o i l e d ) , and t h e women l a u g h and c h i d e h im f o r h i s a w k w a r d n e s s , u n t i l f i n a l l y he does i t . A n o t h e r o f h i s w i f e ' s ' s i s t e r s ' (DFZD) comes up t o h im and a s k s h im t o o p e n h i s p a l m and she p u t s a d o l l o p o f mehnd i on h i s l i t t l e f i n g e r . I d o n ' t know t h e s i g n i f i c a n c e o f t h i s y e t e x c e p t t h a t i t s h o u l d have been p u t i n t h e m i d d l e o f h i s - 146 -ILLUSTRATION V I BRIDEGROOM PLAYING TRADITIONAL GAMES WITH HIS S A L I S AFTER THE WEDDING - 147 -p a l m ( l a t e r , he t o o , a s k e d t h e s i g n i f i c a n c e o f t h i s , and was t o l d t h a t i t was an i n a p p r o p r i a t e t h i n g t o d o , t o p u t i t on h i s l i t t l e f i n g e r ) . D u r i n g t h i s t e a s i n g , , t h e o t h e r women were m a k i n g f u n o f h i m , o r t e a s i n g t h e men who s a t w i t h h i m . I t was good f u n and he t o o k i t w i t h good humour , r e p l y i n g t o t h e women on o c c a s i o n . M e a n w h i l e t h e b r i d e was b e i n g d r e s s e d by h e r mamian . She w o u l d be w e a r i n g a d a r k r e d s a r i f o r t h e honeymoon o r t h e m a k l a v a . When she was d r e s s e d , she w a i t e d i n t h e bedroom f o r t h e s a g a n f o r t h e groom t o b e c o m p l e t e d . T h i s s a g a n c o n d u c t e d by G u r d i a l , was w a t c h e d by t h e women o f b o t h l i n e a g e s . O n l y f i v e men were p r e s e n t , t h e f o u r mame and a young man who was r e c e n t l y m a r r i e d t o D a r s h a n ' s c o u s i n ( F Z D ) . F o r t h i s s a g a n , G u r d i a l f i r s t p u t raw w h i t e r i c e on a s t a i n l e s s s t e e l t h a i , a c o c o n u t t i e d w i t h r e d t w i n e 9 and f i v e l a d d u were a d d e d . Then she went t o H a r j i t and p u t t h e c o c o n u t i n t o h i s l a p , f e d h im w i t h b i t s o f one l a d d u and p u t two o t h e r l a d d u i n t o h i s l a p . He had a t o w e l d r a p e d o v e r h i s r i g h t s h o u l d e r w i t h t h e l o w e r end o f i t cupped i n h i s r i g h t hand t o r e c e i v e t h e s e i t e m s . A f t e r t h a t , e a c h woman r o s e and c i r c l e d h i s h e a d w i t h money, t o u c h e d h i s f o r e h e a d w i t h i t , p u t t h e money i n t o h i s l a p and t o u c h e d h i s head w i t h h e r hand as a k i n d o f b e n e d i c t i o n and i n a f f e c t i o n . W h i l e t h e p r e c e d i n g e v e n t s were t a k i n g p l a c e , a t a b l e had been s e t o u t s i d e i n f r o n t o f t h e l i l a c t r e e . A handwoven - 148 -c l o t h f r o m I n d i a , c r o s s - s t i t c h e d w i t h r e d f l o w e r s and g r e e n l e a v e s , had b e e n s p r e a d on t h e t a b l e . The t h r e e - t i e r e d w e d d i n g c a k e , two j u i c e f i l l e d g o b l e t s and a b e - r i b b o n e d k n i f e were s e t on t h e t a b l e . Some o f t h e f a m i l y , c o n c e r n e d t h a t t h e c o u p l e s t i l l had a l o n g t r i p b e f o r e t hem, were s t a r t i n g t o ask t h a t t h e cake be c u t as soon as p o s s i b l e . Then t h e b r i d e came o u t o f t h e bedroom d r e s s e d i n a d a r k r e d and g o l d s a r i , h e r w e d d i n g e n s e m b l e . B u t , b e f o r e t h e b r i d e and groom went o u t s i d e , a n o t h e r sagan was p e r f o r m e d , t h i s t i m e f o r b o t h o f t hem. The d o o r was daubed w i t h o i l on e i t h e r s i d e ; and t h e b r i d e ' s a u n t (FZ) went o u t b e f o r e them w i t h a t r a y on w h i c h a h a n d f u l o f raw w h i t e r i c e was p l a c e d . She t h r e w t h i s o v e r them and i n t o t h e h o u s e , some o f t h e r i c e f a l l i n g on t hem, as t h e y w a l k e d t h r o u g h t h e doorway t o t h e c rowd g a t h e r e d on t h e l a w n n e a r t h e t a b l e . A s t h e y went o u t s i d e t o t h e t a b l e , D a r s h a n ' s y o u n g e s t mama came up t o them t o t e l l them where t o s t a n d , p l a c i n g D a r s h a n on t h e l e f t o f h e r h u s b a n d (she had s t o o d on t he r i g h t a t f i r s t ) . The young u n c l e handed them t h e k n i f e , once a g a i n p l a c i n g t h e b r i d e g r o o m ' s h a n d o v e r t h e b r i d e ' s . T h i s was t h e f i r s t t i m e t h a t t h e i r hands were j o i n e d . They t r i e d v e r y h a r d t o c u t t h r o u g h t h e i c i n g and f i n a l l y w i t h c o a c h i n g f r o m e v e r y o n e , a l o n g w i t h g o o d - n a t u r e d j o k i n g , t h e y s u c c e e d e d i n m a k i n g t h e f i r s t c u t . They f e d e a c h o t h e r a b i t o f c a k e a m i d s t o u r l a u g h t e r and t h e p i c t u r e t a k i n g . Once t h e y had a c c o m p l i s h e d t h i s , t h e c a k e was c u t and s e r v e d t o t h e a s s e m b l e d g u e s t s . - 149 -M e a n w h i l e , t h e f a m i l y had l o a d e d t h e s u i t c a s e s i n t o t h e c a r i n p r e p a r a t i o n f o r t h e . , t r i p t o V i c t o r i a . T r a d i t i o n a l l y , t h i s i s t h e p o i n t a t w h i c h a S i k h d a u g h t e r i s t a k i n g l e a v e o f h e r p a r e n t s t o go t o h e r h u s b a n d ' s home where she w i l l l i v e i n t h e f u t u r e . U s u a l l y , she spends o n l y a n i g h t o r two away , r e t u r n i n g home f o r a s h o r t w h i l e , b e f o r e l e a v i n g more p e r m a n e n t l y . T h i s l e a v e t a k i n g was v e r y e m o t i o n a l , t h e b r i d e ' s s i s t e r and y o u n g a u n t we re a l r e a d y c r y i n g . The women were s i n g i n g t h e s a d g e e t w h i c h a r e t r a d i t i o n a l l y sung a t t h i s t i m e . The mother l e d t h e way t o t h e c a r , she had t h e s a g a n i t e m s on a t h a l i ; two l a d d u t i e d w i t h r e d t w i n e , raw r i c e and a g a r d b i ( n i c k e l - p l a t e d g o b l e t ) o f w a t e r . The c rowd o f women f o l l o w e d t h e b r i d e and b r i d e g r o o m t o t h e c a r and s a n g a t r a d i t i o n a l r e f r a i n . The w o r d s o f t h i s s o n g a r e a b o u t a b r i d e who i s l e a v i n g , i n h e r w e d d i n g p a l a n q u i n , who c r i e s t o h e r f a t h e r t o l e t h e r s t a y a t home one more day - she does n o t want t o l e a v e . A t t h i s t i m e , many o f t h e women a r e c r y i n g a s t h e y accompany t h e p a i r up t h e wa lkway t o t h e c a r . Once t h e c o u p l e a r e s e a t e d i n t h e c a r , t h e m o t h e r o f t h e b r i d e p l a c e s t h e two l a d d u (wrapped w i t h a s i n g l e s t r a n d o f r e d t w i n e ) i n t o t h e b r i d e ' s l a p , t h e n she g i v e s D a r s h a n a d r i n k o f w a t e r f r o m t h e g a r d b i . ( S u r j i t h a d e x p l a i n e d t o me e a r l i e r t h a t w a t e r means l i f e . ) The mo the r t h e n hugs D a r s h a n and p a t t i n g t h e c o u p l e on t h e i r h a n d s , l e a v e s . T h e n , e a c h o f t h e m o t h e r ' s b r o t h e r s come up t o D a r s h a n and hug h e r , t h e y t o o a r e c r y i n g . Then t h e c a c h a (FFByS) s h a k e s t h e g r o o m ' s - 150 -hand and hugs t h e b r i d e . L a s t l y , t h e f a t h e r o f t h e b r i d e p a t s them b o t h on t h e h e a d and s a y s t o h i s d a u g h t e r w i t h e m o t i o n , " c h u n g a , B e t i " ( W e l l , D a u g h t e r . . . ) . A l l t h e w h i l e t h e women have b e e n s i n g i n g t h e g e e t , i t i s a v e r y p o i g n a n t moment. Now, n e a r l y e v e r y o n e i s c r y i n g i n c l u d i n g t h e b r i d e . I q u i c k l y s t a r t t h e c a r and we d r i v e o f f w h i l e t h e f a m i l i e s wave . As we l e a v e , t h e b r i d e g r o o m g e n t l y p u t s h i s arm a r o u n d t h e b r i d e a n d q u i e t l y t a l k s t o h e r i n a w h i s p e r . We d r i v e f o r a s h o r t d i s t a n c e , a b o u t f i f t e e n m i l e s and as he t a l k s t o h e r , she s t o p s c r y i n g and t h e y t a l k s o f t l y t o e a c h o t h e r . T h e n , a b o u t o n e - h a l f h o u r l a t e r H a r j i t makes us l a u g h by t e l l i n g us t h a t he u s u a l l y w a l k s v e r y f a s t and t h a t when t h e y were d o i n g t he c i r c u m a m b u l a t i o n i n t h e t e m p l e , a r o u n d t h e Gu ru G r a n t h S a h i b , he r e a l i z e d t h a t he was h u r r y i n g and s l o w e d down - D a r s h a n s a i d " Y e s ! and t h e n I s t e p p e d on y o u r h e e l s " , he r e p l i e d " y e s ! " and we a l l l a u g h e d . The mood c h a n g e d , and f o r t h e r e s t o f t h e t r i p t h e y c o n v e r s e d e a s i l y . Once on t h e f e r r y we s a t i n t h e l o u n g e and t a l k e d a b o u t r e l a t i v e s , s c h o o l s , w e d d i n g s h e r e and i n I n d i a , and o t h e r t r i v i a . F o r h a v i n g j u s t met t h e c o u p l e do n o t seem t o a p p e a r u n c o m f o r t a b l e . I n f a c t I t h i n k t h e r e i s a g o o d d e a l o f romance i n t h e s i t u a t i o n as I w a t c h how v e r y e a s i l y she r e a c h e s and b r u s h e s t h e c o n f e t t i f r o m t h e c a r n a t i o n i n h i s l a p e l . We a r r i v e a t t he f e r r y t e r m i n a l a t S w a r t z B a y , i t i s q u i t e d a r k , b u t once i n V i c t o r i a , we f i n d t h e h o t e l q u i t e e a s i l y and c h e c k i n . We s a y g o o d n i g h t t o e a c h o t h e r . - 151 -I n t h e m o r n i n g , a f t e r b r e a k f a s t , I showed them t h e l o c a t i o n o f t h e museums and t h e P a r l i a m e n t B u i l d i n g s ; t h e n I l o o k my l e a v e and went b a c k t o my room. The honeymoon ing c o u p l e r e t u r n e d t o my room l a t e r f o r t e a and I t o l d them a b o u t t h e l o c a t i o n o f t h e t h r e e I n d i a n r e s t a u r a n t s i n V i c t o r i a . They d e c i d e d on one c l o s e by and I made t h e i r r e s e r v a t i o n , t e l l i n g them t h a t t h e y s h o u l d go by t a x i . F o r t h e n e x t few d a y s t h e y s p e n t t h e i r t i m e t o g e t h e r , coming t o my room f o r t e a i n t h e a f t e r n o o n . They went f o r w a l k s , t o t h e t o u r i s t s p o t s and i n t h e e v e n i n g s t h e y went o u t f o r d i n n e r t o t h e I n d i a n r e s t a u r a n t s . They were o b v i o u s l y e n j o y i n g t h e i r t i m e i n V i c t o r i a . L a t e i n t h e a f t e r n o o n o f t h e day b e f o r e we were l e a v i n g t o go b a c k t o t h e m a i n l a n d , we went s h o p p i n g f o r s o u v e n i r s f o r D a r s h a n t o t a k e home t o h e r f a m i l y . She s e l e c t e d a s i l v e r charm b r a c e l e t f o r h e r s i s t e r , a f i g u r i n e f o r h e r n i e c e a n d some T - s h i r t s w i t h ' V i c t o r i a ' o n them f o r o t h e r young r e l a t i v e s . I t was i n t e r e s t i n g t o w a t c h t h e c o u p l e as t h e y c o n s u l t e d e a c h o t h e r a b o u t t h e g i f t s and made t h e i r d e c i s i o n s a b o u t t h e c h o i c e and t h e p r i c e s . They d i d n o t seem t o be u n e a s y w i t h e a c h o t h e r . I n t h e m o r n i n g t h e w e a t h e r i s so bad t h a t we d e c i d e t o t a k e t h e e a r l y f e r r y home t o m o r r o w . We c a l l e d D a r s h a n ' s p a r e n t s e v e r y d a y and t h e y have a s k e d us t o r e t u r n home e a r l y i n t h e d a y , f o r t h e n e x t s a g a n , t h e one f o r t h e r e t u r n i n g b r i d e . We l e a v e on t h e m o r n i n g o f t h e t h i r d d a y , my f i e l d n o t e s o f t h a t day r e a d : - 152 -A p r i l 2 9 , 1 9 8 1 ; I wake a t s e v e n o ' c l o c k i n t h e m o r n i n g and b a t h e , have t e a and t o a s t and t a k e my t h i n g s o u t t o t h e c a r . I have phoned D a r s h a n and H a r j i t t o wake them (7 :45 ) and a s k e d them t o have b r e a k f a s t i n my r o o m . When t h e y a r r i v e , t h e y a r e e a g e r t o go home and have a l r e a d y c a l l e d t h e i r p a r e n t s . S i n c e t h e y were r e a d y v e r y q u i c k l y , and I had t h e t e a r e a d y a n d t h e b r e a d i n t h e b r o i l e r t o t o a s t , we d e c i d e d t h a t i f we d i d n o t l i n g e r , we c o u l d go home on t h e 1 0 : 1 5 a . m . f e r r y . We l e a v e t h e h o t e l a t 9 : 3 0 a . m . and do i n f a c t b o a r d t h e e a r l y f e r r y . We s i t i n t h e f r o n t l o u n g e t h i s t i m e . D a r s h a n i s w e a r i n g a l o v e l y t u r q u o i s e and g o l d s a r i and. a l l o f h e r g o l d j e w e l r y f o r t h e t r i p home. She comments t h a t she f e e l s o v e r d r e s s e d . P e o p l e do l o o k a t t h i s c o u p l e , he i n a b r i g h t p i n k t u r b a n and s h e i n h e r t r a d i t i o n a l w e d d i n g s a r i , so e a r l y i n t h e m o r n i n g . A s we s a t and t a l k e d , r e m i n i s c i n g a b o u t D a r s h a n ' s many s a g a n , H a r j i t t o l d us a b o u t ' h i s ' r i t u a l b a t h and I r e a l i z e d once more how o n e - s i d e d t h i s a c c o u n t i s . He s a i d t h a t he went u p s t a i r s a t t h e nanke and b a t h e d h i m s e l f w h i l e t h e mamian and n a n i s a t and sang g e e t d o w n s t a i r s . I n I n d i a , t h e l a g i w o u l d have d rawn t h e w a t e r f o r h i s b a t h , a n d , he s a i d , he w o u l d have b e e n b a t h e d and had b e s i n ( c h i c k p e a f l o u r ) r u b b e d on h i s body t o r e a l l y c l e a n s e i t . T h i s w o u l d have been f o l l o w e d by t h e b r e a k i n g o f t h e l i d o f an e a r t h e n w a t e r j u g . T h e n , one r u p e e w o u l d have been p l a c e d u n d e r i t ( pe rhaps f o r t h e l a g i ? ) . - 153 -H e r e , he s a i d , he b a t h e d h i m s e l f and g o t d r e s s e d w h i l e t h e women o f t h e h o u s e h o l d (.at nanke) s a t and s a n g t h e a p p r o p r i a t e g e e t . I s u d d e n l y h a d a s e n s e o f h i s n o s t a l g i a , o f what e v e n t s he had a n t i c i p a t e d a n d h e mus t be m i s s i n g by t h i s m a r r i a g e so f a r f r o m h i s home. He s a i d w i t h a s m i l e , t h a t he w o u l d h a v e been i n v o l v e d t o o , i n a l o t o f f u n w i t h h i s c o l l e g e chums. 10 I a s k e d h i m a b o u t h i s w r i s t o rnament c a l l e d a g a u n a . (see I l l u s t r a t i o n 6) He s a i d n o r m a l l y a s i s t e r (a s a k h e b h a i n , c o n s a n g u i n e a l s i s t e r o r a ' f i c t i v e s i s t e r ' , o r a FBD) p u t s i t on t h e w r i s t o f h e r b r o t h e r when he i s g e t t i n g m a r r i e d . He s a i d "I t i e d my o w n " . H i s s i s t e r i s i n I n d i a and he p r o b a b l y has n o t y e t had t i m e t o e s t a b l i s h ' f i c t i v e ' s i s t e r s . I n I n d i a t h e r e w o u l d have been a dance f o r t h e groom p r i o r t o t h e w e d d i n g . I t i s a t r a d i t i o n a l P u n j a b i m e n ' s f o l k dance c a l l e d t h e p a n g a r a w h i c h i s a c c o m p a n i e d by b v o l e a and g e e t . A s w e l l , t h e r e w o u l d have b e e n a s a g a n , a n d he w o u l d have b e e n g i v e n money. L a t e r , D a r s h a n and H a r j i t wen t f o r a w a l k on t h e d e c k , t h e y a r e a n x i o u s now t o g e t home. D a r s h a n s a i d t h a t when she c a l l e d home y e s t e r d a y , t h e y were h a v i n g s a g (a c u r r i e d p u r e e o f m u s t a r d g r e e n s o r b r o c c o l i ) . We l a u g h e d a n d s a i d we wan ted t o h u r r y home - t h i s i s a f a v o u r i t e f o o d ! Today we have been j o k i n g t h a t i t w i l l be gone by t h e t i m e we g e t home. D a r s h a n s a i d n o , h e r m o t h e r a s s u r e d h e r t h e r e w o u l d be enough f o r us when we g e t b a c k t o d a y . - 154 -Once a t t h e m a i n l a n d s i d e , we l e a v e t h e f e r r y and d r i v e home t o t h e V a l l e y i n t h e d r i z z l i n g r a i n . When we a r r i v e home, G u r d i a l and a n o t h e r woman a r e t h e r e and b e f o r e t h e b r i d e and groom e n t e r , t h e y o i l t h e d o o r on e i t h e r s i d e w i t h d r o p l e t s o f o i l . G u r d i a l has a t h a i w i t h f i v e l a d d u , j a l e b i s and b a r f i on i t . She b r e a k s one l a d d u and p u t s a b i t i n t o t h e mouth o f t he b r i d e and t h e groom and embraces t hem. W i t h i n m i n u t e s D a r s h a n 1 s f a t h e r comes home f r o m h i s w a l k i n t h e b e r r y f i e l d s and D a r s h a n r u n s t o embrace h i m . I t i s an e m o t i o n a l r e u n i o n . H a r j i t goes t o t h e d o o r and s h a k e s hands w i t h h i s f a t h e r - i n - l a w . They e x c i t e d l y t e l l h im a b o u t t he t r i p t o V i c t o r i a and t a l k a b o u t a r e t u r n t r i p i n t h e summer. L a t e r , G u r d i a l shows me t h e room t h a t has been p r e p a r e d f o r t h e n e w l y w e d s . I t i s hung w i t h t h e g a r l a n d s o f f l o w e r s t h e y wore i n t h e t e m p l e . T h e r e a r e new s h e e t s , a new c o m f o r t e r and p i l l o w shams and i t l o o k s v e r y c o m f o r t a b l e and h o m e - l i k e . T h r e e weeks a f t e r t h e w e d d i n g , when I t e l e p h o n e d G u r d i a l , she a s k e d me t o h e l p make more s w e e t s . When I a s k e d what t h e o c c a s i o n w a s , she r e p l i e d i t was t h e pagee t h a t had y e t t o be made and d i s t r i b u t e d . She l a t e r e x p l a i n e d t h a t when , a f t e r a w e d d i n g i n I n d i a , t h e women who h a d come home t o t h e i r n a t a l v i l l a g e f o r t h e d u r a t i o n o f t h e w e d d i n g r e t u r n t o t h e i r h u s b a n d ' s v i l l a g e s , t h e y a r e g i v e n s w e e t s t o d i s t r i b u t e t o a l l t h e s i k i r i a ( k i n s h i p r e l a t i o n s ) . I n t h i s way she s a i d " s a d a nam v a d t h a h a " (our name 'becomes e x t e n d e d ' , i . e . becomes known o r ' g e t s l a r g e r ' ) . - 155 -T h i s pagee w h i c h we p r e p a r e d ^ c o n s i s t e d o f l a d d u , b a r f i and o t h e r s w e e t s . I was t o l d t h a t 1—1/4 maunds ( a p p r o x i m a t e l y 100 l b s ) o f pagee were d e l i v e r e d t o D a r s h a n ' s ' N a n k e so t h e y c o u l d d i s t r i b u t e i t t o t h e i r s i k i r i a . ( . S p e c i f i c a l l y , G u r d i a l s a i d t h a t pagee w o u l d go t o h e r c a c e (FyBs) , t h i a s , . ( F e B ' s ) and t h e i r c h i l d r e n , t o pooahs (FZ )and t o t h e m a s i a (MZ) . G u r d i a l r e c e i v e d a ' s u i t ' i n r e t u r n f r o m h e r p a r e n t s . The r u l e t h a t a d a u g h t e r c a n n o t ' t a k e a g i f t f r om h e r a f f i n e s t o h e r p a r e n t s , w i t h o u t a r e t u r n g i f t , h a s ' b e e n o b s e r v e d . A d a u g h t e r i s a l w a y s a ' g i f t ' i n m a r r i a g e . F o r h e r p a r e n t s t o a c c e p t a n y t h i n g f r o m h e r a f f i n e s m i g h t s u g g e s t a payment was made f o r h e r , s o f a m i l i e s go t o g r e a t l e n g t h s t o r e t u r n a g i f t . A l t h o u g h I have p r e v i o u s l y s t a t e d t h a t t h e r e may be ah end t o t h i s a s y m e t r y when a d a u g h t e r ' s d a u g h t e r m a r r i e s (see f o o t n o t e 3 , C h a p t e r I I , Page 1 1 9 ) , on t h i s o c c a s i o n t h e a s y m e t r y i s o b s e r v e d once a g a i n , p e r h a p s s h o w i n g t h e power o f t h e r u l e ) . T h i s d i s t r i b u t i o n o f pagee marks t h e l a s t d i s t r i b u t i o n o f t h e w e d d i n g f o o d s , t h e g u e s t s have gone home and t h e young c o u p l e , i n c o r p o r a t e d i n t o new r o l e s , have begun t h e i r m a r r i e d l i f e . Summary I n t h i s c h a p t e r , a f t e r p r e s e n t i n g t h e p h y s i c a l l a y o u t and some o f t h e mos t i m p o r t a n t s o c i a l c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s o f a S i k h T e m p l e , t h e w e d d i n g ceremony w h i c h c o n s t i t u t e s t h e c o n c l u d i n g p a r t o f t h e c u l t u r a l p e r f o r m a n c e ; t h e C a n a d i a n S i k h Wedd ing R i t u a l , has been d e s c r i b e d . A l s o d e s c r i b e d a s p a r t o f t h e p e r f o r m a n c e have b e e n t h e p o s t - w e d d i n g s a g a n , one f o r t h e b r i d e g r o o m and s e v e r a l f o r t h e wedded c o u p l e . - 156 -W h i l e mos t o f t h e t e m p l e w e d d i n g c e r e m o n y , h e l d i n t h e p u b l i c s p h e r e o f S i k h l i f e , i s c o n d u c t e d by a p r i e s t as t h e r e l i g i o u s s p e c i a l i s t , a number o f m a l e f r i e n d s a n d r e l a t i v e s a t t e n d t o t h e songs a n d t a l k s w h i c h make up t h e i n f o r m a l ' p r o g r a m ' . A t t h i s t i m e c e r t a i n i d e a s and s t o r i e s a r e commended f o r c o n s i d e r a t i o n by t h e b r i d e and b r i d e g r o o m , i n t h e i r l i f e t o g e t h e r . These s t o r i e s draw t h e i r m o r a l a u t h o r i t y f r o m c e r t a i n p a s s a g e s i n t h e G u r u G r a n t h S a h i b . Some o f them may even d raw f r o m t h e H i n d u e p i c s ( i . e . t h e s t o r i e s a b o u t Ram and S i t a ) , t h e l i v e s o f t h e G u r u s , o r t h e y may be poems composed a b o u t t h e g e n e a l o g i e s o f t h e p a r t i c i p a n t s i n t h e w e d d i n g . They a r e o f t e n t o l d o r sung w i t h m u s i c a l a c c o m p a n i m e n t . A l t h o u g h men p r e d o m i n a t e a t t h e t e m p l e f u n c t i o n , v e r y o c c a s i o n a l l y , a woman o f p r o v e n r e l i g i o s i t y may s i n g a s a v a d , a c c o m p a n y i n g h e r s e l f on a m u s i c a l i n s t r u m e n t . The p o s t - w e d d i n g s a g a n , (as i n t h e p r e - w e d d i n g r i t e s ) a r e h e l d i n t h e home ( the p r i v a t e s p h e r e ) , and h e r e t h e women a r e t h e r i t u a l f u n c t i o n a r i e s . These l a s t r i t e s d i f f e r i n t h a t one i s f o r t h e b r i d e g r o o m and t h e o t h e r s a r e f o r t h e c o u p l e . They d i f f e r t o o , i n t h e a d d i t i o n o f c e r t a i n i t e m s o f p a r a p h e r n a l i a : t h e c o c o n u t , t h e raw r i c e , t h e g a r d b i o f w a t e r and t h e two l a d d u t i e d t o g e t h e r w i t h r e d t w i n e . - 157 -FOOTNOTES By e l e c t i v e a f f i n i t y I mean p e o p l e c h o o s e t o be drawn t o some o f t h e i r s y m b o l s more t h a n t o o t h e r s . The i d e a o f f l o w e r g i r l s , u s h e r s and a b e s t man a r e an a c c r e t i o n f r o m C a n a d i a n w h i t e w e d d i n g s w h i c h many o f B . C . S i k h w e d d i n g s have i n c o r p o r a t e d i n t o t h e i r t r a d i t i o n Calong w i t h a t i e r e d wedding c a k e , c o n f e t t i , b o u q u e t s o f f l o w e r s e t c . ) T h i s means : The K h a l s a i s G o d ' s as i s V i c t o r y o v e r s i n . I n H i n d u i s m a c c o r d i n g t o K a r v e ( 1 9 6 8 : 9 5 ) , t h i s i s a t e r m n o t o n l y f o r h u s b a n d , b u t f r o m i t s u s e i n o t h e r c o n t e x t d e n o t e s ' m a s t e r ' . "The s i m p l e word p a t i i n d i c a t e s some t y p e o f p o s s e s s i v e r i g h t s o v e r a woman who i s w i f e " . The w o r d p a t n i means w i f e b u t d o e s n o t c a r r y t h e same k i n d s o f c o n n o t a t i o n , a l t h o u g h K a r v e s t a t e s t h a t i n t h e r g v e d a t h e t e r m g r h a p a t n i meant f i r s t l a d y o f t h e h o u s e h o l d and t h a t i t meant t h e woman who i n t h e r i t u a l c o n t e x t p e r f o r m e d t h e r i t u a l s w i t h t h e h u s b a n d . A s K a r v e s t a t e s ( p . 9 6 ) , t h e g r a m m a r i a n P a n i n i " e n u n c i a t e s t h e r u l e t h a t t h e f e m i n i n e o f t h e word p a t i can be e f f e c t e d by s u f f i x i n g t h e s y l l a b l e n i o n l y when t h e w i f e t a k e s p a r t w i t h t h e h u s b a n d i n t h e p e r f o r m a n c e o f a s a c r i f i c e . " I d o u b t i f t h i s o r t h o d o x y a p p l i e s i n S i k h i s m , b u t t h e b o r r o w i n g o f t e r m s s u c h a s t h i s may s u g g e s t t h e s e i d e a s were p a r t o f S i k h a s s u m p t i o n s t o o , i n a n e a r l i e r e r a . I t h i n k t h e a r d a s e m p h a s i z e s t h e f a c t t h a t S i k h s a r e e n j o i n e d t o p r a y w i t h t h e c o n g r e g a t i o n , even t h o u g h t h e y may p r a y i n d i v i d u a l l y . I t i s a l s o d e l i c i o u s i f s e r v e d warm as i t u s u a l l y i s . V a t h e i g n a t h o n u , I t r a n s l a t e a s c o n g r a t u l a t i o n s t o you ( p l u r a l ) . V a t h e i g n a means t o e x t e n d , t o i n c r e a s e , t h o n u means t o y o u ( p l u r a m e a n i n g t h e f a m i l y . C h u r a s and c h a m i a r s a r e t h e sweeper c a s t e s and t h e l e a t h e r w o r k i n g - c a s t e s . The c o c o n u t i s a f e r t i l i t y s y m b o l t h r o u g h o u t I n d i a . D r . B r e n d a Beck i n a r e c e n t t a l k s u g g e s t e d t h a t i t r e p r e s e n t s t h e womb. The two l a d d u t i e d w i t h r e d t w i n e a l s o s u g g e s t f e r t i l i t y . The shape o f t h e g a r d b h i i s a l s o - l a d e n w i t h s y m b o l i s m o f a s i m i l a r n a t u r e . - 158 -A s i s t e r u s u a l l y t i e s t h i s on h e r b r o t h e r a s k i n g h i s p r o t e c t i o n . I t i s s i g n i f i c a n t , I t h i n k t h a t she t i e s t h i s on h i s w r i s t on h i s wedd ing day a s i f t o e n s u r e h i s c o n t i n u e d s u p p o r t o f h e r , i n s p i t e o f t h e f a c t t h a t he h a s t a k e n a w i f e . I t may a l s o be a r e m i n d e r n o t o n l y o f t h e i r a f f e c t i o n b u t o f t h e f a c t t h a t i n t h e f u t u r e he w i l l a s s i s t h e r c h i l d r e n a t t h e i r w e d d i n g s . - 159 -CHAPTER IV CONCLUSION I n t h i s c o n c l u d i n g c h a p t e r , I summar ize and r e f l e c t upon t h e p r e c e d i n g c h a p t e r s . The o b j e c t i v e o f t h i s s t u d y , t o p r e s e n t t h e f i r s t e x t e n d e d d e s c r i p t i o n o f a C a n a d i a n P u n j a b i S i k h w e d d i n g r i t u a l , was s e t o u t i n t h e I n t r o d u c t i o n . My d u a l p e r s p e c t i v e as a P u n j a b i S i k h woman and a n t h r o p o l o g i s t was d i s c u s s e d . The v a l i d i t y o f t h i s document was r a i s e d by p o s i n g two q u e s t i o n s : I s i t an a c c u r a t e p o r t r a y a l o f wha t a c t u a l l y t o o k p l a c e , a n d I n what ways d i d my p r e s e n c e a l t e r t h e e v e n t s ? These q u e s t i o n s a l l o w e d me t o s t a t e t h e d a t a c o l l e c t i o n t e c h n i q u e s , t o r e c o r d t h e l i m i t a t i o n s o f t h e d a t a , and t o d i s c u s s t h e ways i n w h i c h my d u a l p e r s p e c t i v e s a f f e c t e d t h e s e l e c t i o n a n d u s e o f t h e d a t a p r e s e n t e d h e r e . My m e t h o d o l o g i c a l a p p r o a c h , t h a t i s , t h e means by w h i c h I p r o d u c e d t h i s e t h n o g r a p h y f r om t h e f i e l d n o t e s , was i n f l u e n c e d by t h e i d e a s o f G e e r t z ( 1 9 7 3 ) , R e d f i e l d ( 1 9 6 0 ) , and F r a k e ( 1 9 7 2 ) . M i l t o n S i n g e r ' s i d e a o f ' c u l t u r a l p e r f o r m a n c e ' has b e e n u s e d t h r o u g h o u t ( S i n g e r , 1 9 7 3 ) . The ' p r o b l e m ' I e n t e r e d t h e f i e l d s i t u a t i o n w i t h was a g e n e r a l o n e , t o d e s c r i b e a B . C . P u n j a b i S i k h w e d d i n g r i t u a l . T h i s ' p r o b l e m ' w a s , q u i t e f r a n k l y , t h e o n l y one t h a t o c c u r r e d t o me t h a t seemed t o be t h e mos t a p p r o p r i a t e g i v e n t h e s u d d e n n e s s w i t h w h i c h I l e f t f o r f i e l d w o r k . The i n s t r u c t i o n s o f my g r a d u a t e c o m m i t t e e were t h a t I do no r e a d i n g b u t p r o d u c e a d r a f t work o f d e s c r i p t i o n , w r i t t e n s o l e l y f r om t h e d a t a c o l l e c t e d d u r i n g t h e f i e l d w o r k . T h i s d r a f t , a work o f ' t h i c k d e s c r i p t i o n ' , was a c c e p t e d as a b a s i s f o r t h i s t h e s i s . My h e s i t a t i o n t o a t t e m p t t o f o r m u l a t e a more - 160 -n a r r o w l y d e f i n e d p r o b l e m came o u t o f one o t h e r c o n s t r a i n t , t h a t o f t h e s h o r t p e r i o d a v a i l a b l e f o r f i e l d w o r k , m a k i n g i t d o u b t f u l t h a t I c o u l d o b s e r v e o t h e r S i k h w e d d i n g s . I f e l t t h a t w i t h o u t a l e n g t h i e r s t a y i n t h e f i e l d I w o u l d n o t be a b l e t o g e n e r a t e s u f f i c i e n t d a t e t o a d d r e s s a more n a r r o w l y d e f i n e d p r o b l e m . As i t t u r n e d o u t , t h e p r o b l e m s e l e c t e d e n a b l e d me t o c o l l e c t d a t a a b o u t a l a r g e number o f e v e n t s . A s I began t o w r i t e t h e f i e l d n o t e s , I r e a l i z e d t h a t i t w o u l d be v a l u a b l e t o o u r d i s c i p l i n e i f I, as a P u n j a b i S i k h woman and an a n t h r o p o l o g i s t , were t o p r o v i d e a d e t a i l e d a c c o u n t o f a s i n g l e w e d d i n g . R e t r o s p e c t i v e l y , I am c o n f i d e n t t h a t t h e p r o b l e m s e l e c t e d a l l o w e d me t o make t h e b e s t u s e o f t h e b u l k o f t h e f a c t s c o l l e c t e d . The b e n e f i t o f t h i s a p p r o a c h was t h a t i t a l l o w e d f o r t h e p o t e n t i a l o f s e r e n d i p i t o u s f i n d i n g s . I t was t h u s t h a t I r e c o r d e d t h e v a s t number o f e v e n t s c a l l e d sagan w h i c h o c c u r r e d i n my n o t e s a s s m a l l p a c k a g e s o f c o n s e c u t i v e d a t a , o r d e r e d i n a c h r o n o l o g i c a l w a y , b a s e d upon B . C . P u n j a b i S i k h c a t e g o r i e s . I t was a f o r t u i t o u s d e c i s i o n , t o r e c o r d t h i n g s as t h e y h a p p e n e d ; t h a t I d i d n o t impose any t h e o r e t i c a l f ramework on t h e d a t a , and s e t o u t n o t t o c o l l e c t c e r t a i n f a c t s b u t t o l e t my i n f o r m a n t s i n f o r m me o f t h e s e q u e n c e o f o c c u r r e n c e s w h i c h t h e y c o n s i d e r e d t o be s i g n i f i c a n t d u r i n g t h e p e r f o r m a n c e o f t h i s w e d d i n g . C h a p t e r s I t h r o u g h I I I c o n s t i t u t e t h e e t h n o g r a p h y . I n them I d e s c r i b e t h e w e d d i n g and e v e n t s s u r r o u n d i n g i t as e x e m p l a r y b u t s i n g u l a r , s i n c e none o f t h e s e e v e n t s had p r e v i o u s l y o c c u r r e d p r e c i s e l y a s t h e y d i d now. A s t r a n g e r t o t h e c u l t u r e , h o w e v e r , c o u l d w i t h t h i s e t h n o g r a p h y as a g u i d e , ' a n t i c i p a t e ' t h e n e x t e v e n t ( G e e r t z , 1 9 7 3 : 2 6 ; F r a k e , 1 9 7 2 : 2 2 1 ) . - 161 -Chapter I describes the mungna (betrothal). Using Barbara Ward's concept of 'conscious models', the i d e a l Sikhs have of marriage arrangements was discussed. The strategies for marriage arranagements as they are a c t u a l l y c a r r i e d out were described as the 'actual or immediate model' with mention that t h i s l a t e r model i s affected by the Sikh 'observers' model, that i s , the B.C. Sikhs notions of Anglo-Saxon cult u r e . Now, r e t r o s p e c t i v e l y , I would l i k e to b r i e f l y explore Barbara Ward's (1965) three-part concept of 'conscious' models. Ward (1965:135) suggests these models as a formula with which she can account " . . . f o r the uniquely widespread uniformity and long continuity of t r a d i t i o n a l Chinese society and cul t u r e . . . " and at the same time "...explain the continued existence of quite considerable v a r i a t i o n within i t " . She applied the model to the Kau Sai people of China, to show how, i n spite of many differences i n t h e i r day to day l i v e s , they are s i m i l a r to other Chinese, and how they r e t a i n t h e i r "Chinese-ness". In exploring t h i s model i n r e l a t i o n to Sikh immigrants i n Canada, I suggest that Ward's ' i d e o l o g i c a l ' model w i l l have more h e u r i s t i c value i f broken down i n t o two parts. F i r s t , the model that B.C. Sikhs have of t h e i r t r a d i t i o n a l (in India) s o c i a l and c u l t u r a l l i f e . Second, the model they have i n t h e i r consciousness of the 'actual or immediate model' of Sikh l i f e i n Punjab, India as they have l i v e d i t , and now remember and t r y to reproduce i t i n Canada. B.C. Sikhs, as they attempt to r e t a i n and reproduce t h e i r t r a d i t i o n a l culture, t a l k of keeping the p i c h l e a gula (the ideas 'behind' us). This term has two ref e r r e n t s , one, to ancestral ideas and second, to the ideas from - 162 -' b a c k h o m e ' , t h a t i s , f r om t h e remembered and l i v e d e v e r y d a y l i f e i n P u n j a b . I s u g g e s t t h a t t h i s f u r t h e r b reakdown o f W a r d ' s i d e o l o g i c a l mode l w i l l be o f v a l u e i n e x p l a i n i n g change and v a r i a t i o n amongst t h e v a r i o u s waves o f S i k h i m m i g r a n t s f r o m I n d i a . S i m i l a r l y , W a r d ' s c o n c e p t o f ' i n t e r n a l o b s e r v e r ' s ' mode l (wh i ch I r e f e r t o as t h e B . C . S i k h ' o b s e r v e r ' s ' mode l i n t h i s t h e s i s ) , i s i n need o f r e - c o n c e p t u a l i z a t i o n b e f o r e a p p l i c a t i o n t o t h e s i t u a t i o n o f o v e r s e a s i m m i g r a n t s . I n C h a p t e r I, t h e m a r r i a g e r u l e s were d i s c u s s e d s h o w i n g t h e f o u r l i n e a g e s w h i c h a r e p r o h i b i t e d as m a r r i a g e c h o i c e s . I s t a t e d t h a t t h e r e i s an a s s u m p t i o n t h a t t h e l i n e a g e o f t h e m a n ' s s i d e i s o f a h i g h e r s t a t u s t h a n t h a t o f t h e b r i d e . T h i s h i g h e r s t a t u s i s n o t p a r t o f a f o r m a l h i e r a r c h i c a l r a n k i n g o f S i k h g o t h , b u t i s d e f i n e d l o c a l l y b a s e d on p a s t a l l i a n c e s a n d c h a n g i n g e c o n o m i c c i r c u m s t a n c e s . M o s t B . C . P u n j a b i S i k h m a r r i a g e s r e f l e c t t h i s s y s t e m o f p r e f e r e n t i a l k i n s h i p a l l i a n c e s , where t h e m a r r y i n g c o u p l e a r e i n c o r p o r a t e d i n t o an e x t e n d e d f a m i l y w i t h s t r o n g t i e s t o t h e l i n e a g e . A l t h o u g h most young c o u p l e s s o o n f i n d s e p a r a t e r e s i d e n c e s , t h e t i e s o f a f f e c t i o n and o b l i g a t i o n r e m a i n . I t h a s become a p p a r e n t t o me, d u r i n g t h e c o u r s e o f my r e s e a r c h t h a t t h e v a r i a b l e s o f s e x , e d u c a t i o n , age a t m a r r i a g e , c o u n t r y o f b i r t h , and t h e s i z e o f t h e k i n s h i p n e t w o r k i n Canada a r e i m p o r t a n t and t h a t d i f f e r e n t c o m b i n a t i o n s o f t h e s e v a r i a b l e s p r o d u c e a d i f f e r e n t s e t o f p e r m u t a t i o n s w i t h r e g a r d t o s t r e n g t h o f b e l i e f s , a t t i t u d e s and v a l u e s r e g a r d i n g S i k h c u l t u r e . I n m a r r i a g e s , t h e d i f f e r e n t c o m b i n a t i o n s o f t h e s e v a r i a b l e s e a c h have p r o f o u n d i m p l i c a t i o n s f o r , and i n d i c a t e f u n d a m e n t a l changes t o t h e S i k h f a m i l y i n t h e f u t u r e . - 163 -One . f u n d a m e n t a l change i s i n t h e r o l e s o f women. W h i l e t h e c u l t u r a l r u l e t h a t women must be u n d e r t h e p r o t e c t i o n o f t h e f a t h e r , b r o t h e r , o r h u s b a n d i s s t i l l an i d e a l , i n a c t u a l p r a c t i c e some S i k h women i n Canada must have t h e f r eedom t o work o u t s i d e t h e home, t o d r i v e c a r s t o meet s u c h f a m i l y needs as s h o p p i n g and t a k i n g c h i l d r e n t o and f r om s c h o o l , and t o i n t e r a c t w i t h t h e members o f t h e f a m i l y who a r e d i s p e r s e d o v e r w i d e a r e a s . They a l s o have t h e need and some f r eedom t o move w i t h t h e members o f t h e o p p o s i t e s e x f o r e d u c a t i o n a l and economic p u r p o s e s . I n o t h e r w o r d s , i n a c t u a l p r a c t i c e , S i k h women, l i k e most C a n a d i a n women, must l e a r n t o l o o k a f t e r t h e m s e l v e s . U n l i k e many o t h e r C a n a d i a n s , h o w e v e r , t h e y move w i t h t h e know ledge t h a t t h e i r movements a r e more c l o s e l y w a t c h e d and s a n c t i o n e d by o t h e r s . T h i s c h a p t e r i n d i c a t e s t h e deep e m o t i o n a l c o n f l i c t s and t h e a d j u s t m e n t s t h a t men and women i n t h e B . C . S i k h communi ty f a c e , and t h e p r o f o u n d changes t h a t a r e made. I n t h i s c h a p t e r , I have a l s o d i s c u s s e d how s p a c e and k i n s h i p t e r m s p l a y an i m p o r t a n t r o l e i n B . C . S i k h c u l t u r e . T h e r e i s a s t r o n g i d e n t i f i c a t i o n w i t h t h e v i l l a g e s o f t h e p a t e r n a l and m a t e r n a l l i n e s w h i c h i s e x p r e s s e d i n k i n s h i p t e r m s , a m o n g t S i k h s . I n C a n a d a , t h i s e x p r e s s i o n i s r e t a i n e d a l t h o u g h t h e r e i s a change i n r e s i d e n c e p a t t e r n so t h a t l i n e a g e members a r e d i s p e r s e d o v e r many r u r a l and u r b a n a r e a s o f B . C . I have shown t h a t e a c h home becomes l o o k e d upon as i f i t were i n t h e v i l l a g e i n I n d i a . I n t h e c o u n s c i o u s n e s s o f t h e p e o p l e i t i s as i f t h e b o u n d a r i e s o f t h e v i l l a g e e x t e n d and encompass them i n C a n a d a . A l t h o u g h t h e l i n e a g e members a r e d i s p e r s e d , t h e s o l i d a r i t y w i t h o n e ' s l i n e a g e members c o n t i n u e s and i s e x p r e s s e d a t t h e many c e r e m o n i a l o c c a s i o n s , i t i s m a n i f e s t e d by t h e s e v a , t h e d o n a t i o n s , t h e o b l i g a t o r y e x c h a n g e s , t h e w e d d i n g g i f t s , and a t t e n d a n c e and i n v o l v e m e n t i n t h e sagan and w e d d i n g . - 164 -I a l s o a r g u e d i n t h i s c h a p t e r t h a t B . C . P u n j a b i S i k h c u l t u r e has f l e x i b i l i t y and a d a p t a b i l i t y , b o t h i m p o r t a n t a t t r i b u t e s f o r an i m m i g r a n t g r o u p . I t has been d e m o n s t r a t e d i n t h i s t h e s i s t h a t B . C . S i k h s have many a d a p t i v e s t r a t e g i e s w h i c h t h e y employ t o g e t done what t h e y need t o g e t d o n e , somet imes by a b r o g a t i n g c u l t u r a l r u l e s . I t i s a p p a r e n t , t o o , t h a t A n g l o - S a x o n b e l i e f s and v a l u e s a l o n g w i t h N o r t h A m e r i c a n m a t e r i a l goods a r e b e c o m i n g i n e x t r i c a b l y e n t w i n e d w i t h S i k h l i f e i n c r e a s i n g l y w i t h t h e p a s s i n g o f e a c h g e n e r a t i o n . A t t h e same t i m e S i k h v a l u e s f r o m I n d i a , some o f them a l s o s h o w i n g e v i d e n c e o f change,.. a r e b r o u g h t t o Canada w i t h e a c h new i m m i g r a n t . T h e r e i s , t h e r e f o r e , an o n g o i n g s y n t h e s i s o f S i k h and C a n a d i a n c u l t u r e s . The a r r a n g e m e n t o f m a r r i a g e s by S i k h s r a i s e s many q u e s t i o n s f o r f u r t h e r r e s e a r c h : How. do s e c o n d g e n e r a t i o n S i k h s a r r a n g e m a r r i a g e s ? To what e x t e n t do t h e y seek p a r t n e r s i n I n d i a f o r t h e i r c h i l d r e n ? A r e t h e r e any s i m i l a r i t i e s e m e r g i n g be tween S i k h s and o t h e r e t h n i c g r o u p s ( e . g . J e w s ) who a r r a n g e m a r r i a g e s f o r t h e i r c h i l d r e n ? C h a p t e r I I d e s c r i b e d s e v e n p r e - w e d d i n g r i t u a l s w h i c h o c c u r r e d be tween t h e b e t r o t h a l and t h e w e d d i n g . I t i s a s i g n i f i c a n t p o i n t t h a t i n t h e p r i v a t e s p h e r e o f l i f e , i t i s t h e women who p r o v i d e mos t o f t h e c o n t i n u i t y w i t h p a s t f o r m s , who p a s s on t h e t r a d i t i o n a l c u l t u r e , who e v a l u a t e and s e t t h e s t a n d a r d s f o r what w i l l be r e t a i n e d , changed o r d r o p p e d f r om t h e c u l t u r a l r e p e r t o i r e . They a l s o a l l o w a c c r e t i o n s f r om t h e dom inan t A n g l o - S a x o n c u l t u r e t h a t t h e i r c h i l d r e n i n s i s t u p o n . The women k n o w " a l l t h e w h i l e t h a t t h e y do n o t s h a r e i n t h e e x p e r i e n c e o f t h e s e new v a l u e s and t r y n o t t o a l l o w b o r r o w i n g s t h a t w o u l d l e a d t o - 165 -c o n f l i c t i n v a l u e s o r w h i c h w o u l d s h a r p l y s e p a r a t e c h i l d r e n f r o m t h e i r t r a d i t i o n s . A l t h o u g h men a r e o f t e n g i v e n t h e c r e d i t by t h e women as b e i n g t h e e n f o r c e r s o f t r a d i t i o n , i t c a n b e r e a d i l y s e e n t h a t women spend t h e most t i m e w i t h t h e young and a r e t h e m a j o r i n f l u e n c e i n t h e i r s o c i a l i z a t i o n . By t h e i r e v a l u a t i o n o f e a c h o t h e r s p e r f o r m a n c e , t h r o u g h b o t h c r i t i c i s m and a c t i v e s u p p o r t , women p a s s t h e S i k h c u l t u r e o n . C h a p t e r I I d e s c r i b e s how i n t e r p r e t a t i o n s o f s o c i a l i n s t i t u t i o n s , b e h a v i o r , and a t t i t u d e s a r e p a s s e d on t h r o u g h t h e u s e o f t r a d i t i o n a l s a g a n and t h e m e t a p h o r i c use o f songs (gee t and b v o l e a ) . How, f o r e x a m p l e , t h e s o l i d a r i t y o f t h e l i n e a g e i s e x p r e s s e d t o i t s members and t o o t h e r s d u r i n g t h e p e r f o r m a n c e o f a w e d d i n g . C h a p t e r I I I p r o v i d e s a d e s c r i p t i o n o f t h e t e m p l e and t h e w e d d i n g h e l d t h e r e . H e r e , i n t h e p u b l i c s p h e r e , t h e men a r e t h e c h i e f f u n c t i o n a r i e s . A p r i e s t o f f i c i a t e s and t h e men o f t h e l i n e a g e p e r f o r m t r a d i t i o n a l f u n c t i o n s . The d i s c u s s i o n o f t h e s o c i a l c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s o f t h e t e m p l e shows how S i k h s w o r s h i p ; ' as a b r o t h e r h o o d , and t h e f i v e K ' s , s y m b o l s w h i c h a r e e n j o i n e d upon a l l S i k h s , a r e d i s c u s s e d . I n o t e how r e l i g i o u s s y m b o l s a r e m a n i -p u l a t e d and s e l e c t i v e l y f o l l o w e d i n t h e c o n t e x t o f t h e r e l i g i o u s l i f e a t t h e t e m p l e and i n e v e r y d a y l i f e . And i t i s t h e men who show more o f an e l e c t i v e a f f i n i t y t o t r a d i t i o n a l r e l i g i o u s r u l e s . B e c a u s e t h e y a r e more i n v o l v e d w i t h t h e A n g l o - S a x o n c u l t u r e i n t h e i r day t o day economic a c t i v i t i e s , m o s t S i k h men remove t h e i r t u r b a n s a n d do n o t c l o s e l y f o l l o w t h e v i s i b l e S i k h r e l i g i o u s p r e s c r i p t i o n s . The women, e s p e c i a l l y i f t h e y a r e r e c e n t i m m i g r a n t s o r a r e I n d i a b o r n and r a i s e d a r e t h e t r a d i t i o n a l i s t s , t h a t i s , t h e y a r e much more p r o n e t o f o l l o w t h e c u l t u r a l and r e l i g i o u s e x p e c t a t i o n s . - 166 -Canada b o r n and r a i s e d S i k h women, on t h e o t h e r h a n d , r e s p o n d i n a v a r i e t y o f ways t o t h e i r t r a d i t i o n s . One can a s k a t t h i s po in t ,wha t : m o d e l w i l l a n e w l y m a r r i e d c o u p l e s u c h a s t h e one p r e s e n t e d h e r e a d o p t as r e p r e s e n t a t i v e o f t h e i r c u l t u r a l b e l i e f s ? What w i l l t h e y p r e s e n t f o r t h e i r c h i l d r e n t o f o l l o w ? We may g u e s s t h a t t h e r e a r e p r o f o u n d c h a n g e s i n t h e b e l i e f s p a s s e d on by s u c h a c o u p l e b a s e d on p e r s o n a l s e l e c t i o n o f a t t r i b u t e s c o n s i d e r e d t o be i m p o r t a n t . Thus t h e r e i s t h e p o t e n t i a l f o r g r e a t i n c o n s i s t e n c y o r l a c k o f c o n t i n u i t y i n t h e p a s s i n g on o f t r a d i t i o n s . I n t h e p a r t i c u l a r c a s e p r e s e n t e d h e r e , w i t h an e x t e n s i v e n e t w o r k o f k i n s m e n t o a i d i n c u l t u r a l t r a n s m i s s i o n , t h i s may n o t be a p r o b l e m , b u t i n many o t h e r c a s e s i t may be o n e . What t h e m i x w i l l b e b e t w e e n S i k h a n d C a n a d i a n v a l u e s and b e l i e f s depends on t h e p a r e n t a l m i x , w h e t h e r e i t h e r was b o r n and r a i s e d i n I n d i a , o r w h e t h e r b o t h p a r e n t s were r a i s e d i n C a n a d a . We may a l s o a s k , What i s t h e c o s t i n t e r m s o f p e r s o n a l c o n f l i c t f o r t h e c h i l d r e n and how may t h i s c o n f l i c t be r e d u c e d o r p r e v e n t e d ? Now, t o c o n c l u d e t h i s f i n a l c h a p t e r and t h e t h e s i s , I w i s h t o exam ine t h e u s e f u l n e s s o f t h e m e t h o d o l o g i c a l a p p r o a c h I a d o p t e d , one d e s i g n e d t o work t o w a r d s ' t h i c k d e s c r i p t i o n ' . By e n t e r i n g i n t o d e t a i l e d d e s c r i p t i o n , by m a k i n g t h e e v e n t s t h e c e n t e r o f t h e n a r r a t i v e , and by comment ing on them where n e c e s s a r y , I hope i n a s m a l l way t o have f u r t h e r e d a n t h r o p o l o g i c a l u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f t h e C a n a d i a n P u n j a b i S i k h s . By u s i n g t h i s mode o f r e p o r t i n g , I have a t t e m p t e d t o r e a c h d e e p l y i n t o t h e a t t i t u d e s a n d b e l i e f s o f t h i s c u l t u r a l g r o u p . We c a n a t t a i n a b e t t e r u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f b e h a v i o r , v a l u e s , and b e l i e f s by t h i s method o f p r e s e n t i n g an i n s i d e v i e w o f a c u l t u r e , by ' t h i c k d e s c r i p t i o n ' . H o p e f u l l y , - 167 -t h e s e d a t a may a l s o be u s e d by o t h e r s , p o s s i b l y u s i n g o t h e r t h e o r e t i c a l c o n c e p t i o n s , who w i s h t o make c o m p a r a t i v e s t u d i e s . I do n o t d e r i v e any g e n e r a l c o n c l u s i o n s f r om d a t a g a t h e r e d d u r i n g a b r i e f p e r i o d o f r e s e a r c h , f o c u s e d on one p a r t i c u l a r f a m i l y . B u t , I do s u g g e s t , and hope t h a t a few i s s u e s have been e x p o s e d and t h a t h y p o t h e s e s f o r f u t u r e r e s e a r c h c a n be g e n e r a t e d f r o m t h i s documen t . I hope a l s o t h a t i n some modes t way t h i s s t u d y w i l l c o n t r i b u t e t o t h e a n t h r o p o l o g i c a l r e p e r t o i r e o f k n o w l e d g e on C a n a d i a n P u n j a b i S i k h c u l t u r e , and t h u s t o a b e t t e r u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f an e t h n i c g r o u p t h a t has and c o n t i n u e s t o p l a y i m p o r t a n t r o l e s i n t h e h i s t o r i e s o f I n d i a and C a n a d a . - 168 -GLOSSARY AND TRANSLITERATION I n t h e g l o s s a r y I h a v e a t t e m p t e d t o e m p h a s i z e t h e mean ing i n t h e t r a n s l a t i o n . T h i s h a s somet imes meant t h a t a word may be g l o s s e d w i t h a s e n t e n c e , o r c o n v e r s e l y a c o n c e p t may have a s i n g l e word g l o s s . I have c h o s e n t o t r a n s l i t e r a t e o n l y t h o s e words w h i c h I t h i n k may be m i s p r o n o u n c e d by a W e s t e r n r e a d e r . I have u s e d t h e words as p r o n o u n c e d by my i n f o r m a n t s , who a r e women w i t h a v i l l a g e b a c k g r o u n d a n d a l o w l e v e l o f l i t e r a c y . O f t e n t h e l e t t e r v becomes s l u r r e d t o a b , o r a p h s o u n d ( E n g l i s h f ) i s p r o n o u n c e d w i t h a p . T h u s , my t r a n s l i t e r a t i o n may n o t s a t i s f y t h e r e a d e r who i s i n t e r e s t e d i n t h e S a n s k r i t i c t r a n s l i t e r a t i o n . A t t imes . , t h e P u n j a b i wo rd may have an U r d u ( A r a b i c r o o t ) o r i g i n , o r t h e r e may be s e v e r a l words f r om d i f f e r e n t d i a l e c t s , t h e s e have p o s e d some d i f f i c u l t i e s . I g e n e r a l l y r e p o r t t h e word most commonly u s e d , t h o u g h I somet imes show t h e l e s s e r u s e d word as w e l l ( i . e . degh and p r a s h a d ) . C . S h a c k l e ' s P u n j a b i (1972:5) , has b e e n u s e d a s a g u i d e t o t h e t r a n s l i t e r a t i o n . The r e l e v a n t s e c t i o n i s r e p r o d u c e d he re , ( p.179) . C h a p t e r I o f P u n j a b i (pp.1-17) i s a h e l p f u l r e f e r e n c e f o r p r o n u n c i a t i o n . - 169 -GLOSSARY (a) a c h a r anand k a r a j a p n i a r d a s Gurmukh i S c r i p t P h o n e t i c S c r i p t (b) b a r f i b a r r d a b a r t h a i b e t i b h a i n b h i r b o r d e a bund M v\r w b u t t o n a £C2T?>T b v o l e (s) ,s g b v o l e a (p) c^MT^/Vr p i c k l e s a w e d d i n g own t h e name o f a s p e c i a l hymn a m i l k swee t c o u r t y a r d t o s e r v e , p o r t i o n o u t d a u g h t e r s i s t e r b r o t h e r women t o d i s t r i b u t e an o a t f l o u r and o i l p a s t e bawdy song bawdy songs - 170 -(c) c a c h a c a c h i chand chewra chunga c h u n i c h u r i a ( f ) ( p ) (d) dada d a d i dadke d a l dasma degh d e h j d o r i a n aiqfl _______ Q K P C?K\qd good ( i . e . O . K . ) 9& O I v e i l , s h a w l sweepe r c a s t e women u n c l e (FyB) a u n t (FyBW) moon b r a c e l e t _____ ______ g r a n d f a t h e r (FF) g r a n d m o t h e r (FM) v i l l a g e o f p a t r i l i n e a l g r a n d p a r e n t s a s o u p - l i k e l e n t i l c u r r y t e n t h a f i r m , p u d d i n g - l i k e communion f o o d s e r v e d a t S i k h t e m p l e s dowry o n d ^ m u l t i s t r a n d e d w o o l t i e s t o b r a i d i n t o h a i r (g) g a r a n t h e g a r d b h i a S i k h p r i e s t a s m a l l n i c k e l -p l a t e d w a t e r v e s s e l - 171 -gauna g e e t g h a r ghee g i d t h a g o r a (s)(m) g o r i ( s ) ( f ) g o t h g o t r a g u r u gu rudhwara aT~3 3B>—: a m u l t i - c o l o r e d many s t r a n d e d t i e . The word i s a l s o u s e d t o r e f e r t o a ceremony p r i o r t o a w e d d i n g when a s i s t e r t i e s a gauna o n t o t h e w r i s t o f h e r b r o t h e r i n r e t u r n f o r h i s p r o t e c t i o n s o n g s , b a l l a d s house c l a r i f i e d b u t t e r f o l k dance o f P u n j a b m a i n l y p e r f o r m e d by women w h i t e man w h i t e woman c l a n ( P u n j a b i s p e a k e r ) c l a n ( H i n d i s p e a k e r ) t e a c h e r , d i s c i p l e S i k h t e m p l e (h) h a l d i h a l v a i h a r UTB t u m e r i c a c o n f e c t i o n e r g a r l a n d ( j ) j a t y%*L a n o r t h I n d i a n c a s t e j e t h '^j S b r o t h e r - i n - l a w ( h u s b a n d ' s e l d e r b r o t h e r ) - 172 -jewa j e w a i j i j i w a n (k) k a r a h i k a t a ke khandan k h i r koa korme k u r t a (m)(s) k u r t i ( f ) ( s ) < H o a t s s o n - i n - l a w h o n o r i f i c p a r t i c l e ( i . e . s i r , madam) t l f e f r l i f e . s l o p e - s i d e d pan s o u r c ream ( o f t e n w i t h c h i c k p e a f l o u r d u m p l i n g s and s p i c e s ) °\ ~ 5 T o f ~ t | ' A o U ' f l f a m i l y a p u d d i n g - l i k e d e s s e r t made w i t h m i l k , r i c e and s u g a r (a lmonds o r r a i s i n s a r e somet imes added) s a d e s s e r t made o f M L c o o k e d c ream s m a l l s q u a r e s o f f r i e d and s u g a r e d p a s t r y (somet imes c a l l e d s a k e r p a r e ) a t u n i c - l e n g t h s h i r t -l i k e ga rmen t worn by men a t u n i c - l e n g t h s h i r t -l i k e ga rmen t w o r n by women - 173 -(1) l a d d u l a g i l a n g a l a n g a r l a t t e l a v a n l e r TO a swee tmea t a s e r v a n t a f l o o r l e n g t h s k i r t and t u n i c cos tume worn by women a communal mea l s e r v e d a t a S i k h t e m p l e t o i n d u l g e f i g h t (m) mai m a i a n mama (s)(m) mame (p)(m) mami ( s ) ( f ) mamia(n) ( p ) ( f ) m a s i ( s ) ( f ) m a s i a ( n ) (p) ( f ) mata ma ta r mehndi yrff\ m o t h e r , o l d woman a l i f e c y c l e r i t u a l f o r women h e l d s h o r t l y b e f o r e m a r r i a g e u n c l e ( m o t h e r ' s b r o t h e r ) u n c l e s ( m o t h e r ' s b r o t h e r s ) a u n t ( m o t h e r ' s b r o t h e r ' s w i f e ) a u n t s ( m o t h e r ' s b r o t h e r ' s w i v e s ) a u n t ( m o t h e r ' s s i s t e r ) a u n t s ( m o t h e r ' s s i s t e r s ) m o t h e r p e a s henna - 174 -m i l n i mor mungna xfer?? yr\9r\q ha f o r m a l m e e t i n g o f b r i d e 1 s p a r e n t s and b r i d e g r o o m ' s p a r e n t s a t t h e t i m e o f t h e engagement a c o i n - l i k e g o l d p i e c e w i t h an i m p r i n t somet imes g i v e n i n s t e a d o f t h e r u p e e a t t h e t i m e o f b e t r o t h a l b e t r o t h a l , engagement ( l i t e r a l l y , t o ask ) (n) na n a i nana nam nanke n a n k e w a l i a ( f ) 7m 777% n a u t c h neonda fat noha (p) 0 . b a t h e b a r b e r g r a n d f a t h e r ( m o t h e r ' s f a t h e r ) g r a n d m o t h e r ( m o t h e r ' s mother ) m a t e r n a l g r a n d -p a r e n t ' s v i l l a g e women o f g r a n d -p a r e n t ' s v i l l a g e dance i n v i t a t i o n t o a c t i v a t e exchange r e l a t i o n s h i p s , i n v i t a t i o n d a u g h t e r s - i n - l a w noh (s) d a u g h t e r - i n - l a w - 175 -CP) p a p a k e p a k o r i a p a l a p a l i p a n g a r a p a r l o s p a t a s a (s) p a t a s e (p) p a t h p a t h e j i p a t i p e r j a i p h e r a phog p h u l k a p h u l k a r i e Up 3 1 " O S p u t n a t a l v i l l a g e ( m a r r i e d woman s p e a k i n g ) deep f r i e d p e a f l o u r b i t s o r n a t e end o f s a r i , o r v e i l r i t u a l g i v i n g o f s w e e t s t o m a t e r n a l g r a n d p a r e n t s t o s i g n a l t h e w e d d i n g o f a g r a n d c h i l d v i g o r o u s f o l k dance o f P u n j a b , t r a d i t i o n a l l y p e r f o r m e d by men r u f f l e ( i . e . h a i r ) , p a t t h e h e a d s m a l l w a f e r - l i k e candy s m a l l w a f e r - l i k e c a n d i e s c h u r c h s e r v i c e n i e c e (BD) l i n e a g e s i s t e r - i n - l a w c i r c u m a m b u l a t i o n a s p o n s o r e d c h u r c h s e r v i c e a s m a l l o r n a t e a l t a r c l o t h handwoven , d y e d , e m b r o i d e r e d t a s p e s t r y -l i k e s h a w l - 176 -p i n d p i t h a ( j i ) p i o pooah p r a s h a d p r o n a fa? ftfl) fat g-wf v i l l a g e f a t h e r f a t h e r a u n t ( f a t h e r ' s s i s t e r ) s w e e t , f i r m , p u d d i n g -l i k e communion f o o d s e r v e d a t S i k h t e m p l e s g u e s t (used mos t f r e q u e n t l y i n r e f e r e n c e t o b r i d e g r o o m ) (q) q u e v i l d a r q u e v i l d a r i t h e one who p o s s e s s e s t h e a t t r i b u t e o f k e e p i n g h i s w o r d , m a k i n g good h i s p r o m i s e s , b e i n g good i n r e c i p r o c a l e x c h a n g e s p o s s e s s i o n o f t h e a t t r i b u t e s above s r o k o *S t o s t o p , t o s t a n d i n t h e way o f r o t i ^ u n l e a v e n e d b r e a d r u m a l a l t a r c l o t h ( the l a r g e c e n t e r c l o t h f l a n k e d by two s m a l l e r c l o t h s c a l l e d p h u l k a ) r u p e e a c o i n o f a p p r o x i m a t e l y 1/7 o f a d o l l a r v a l u e - 177 -(s) s a g s a g a n s a h a l i s a k e r p a r e s a k h e s a l a s a l i * samosa s a n g a t sanyahe s a r i s a r i r s a u r a s a u r i s a v a d s e h r s e h r a s e v a s h a d i * s a l v a r " J T - J 1 TOT?; M 1 ^ «HdcT p u r e e o f a g r e e n l e a f y v e g e t a b l e , u s u a l l y c u r r i e d a r i t e g i r l f r i e n d s m a l l deep f r i e d s q u a r e s o f s u g a r e d p a s t r y c o n s a n g u i n e a l b r o t h e r - i n - l a w s i s t e r - i n - l a w deep f r i e d s a v o r y t i d b i t c o n g r e g a t i o n a message d e l i v e r e d v e r b a l l y a w rapped woman 's ga rmen t body f a t h e r - i n - l a w (woman s p e a k i n g ) v i l l a g e o f f a t h e r -i n - l a w hymn head a c r o w n - l i k e h e a d p i e c e t r a d i t i o n a l l y w o r n b y groom s e r v i c e w e d d i n g a f u l l , p a n t - l i k e garment - 178 -s i k h i a s i k i r i a surma s u r m a d a n i s u n g a l i s u s ( t ) t a b a r t a i y a t a i y e t h a i t h e t h o t h o n u (v) v a h v a r v a r r e v a t h e i g n a a l e s s o n k i n r e l a t i o n s h i p s , a l l i a n c e s ^^yP~ p o w d e r e d a n t i m o n y u s e d a s a c o s m e t i c f o r e y e s a c o n t a i n e r f o r surma a c h a i n - l i k e n e c k l a c e m o t h e r - i n - l a w f a m i l y J'fdrt1T u n c l e , f a t h e r ' s e l d e r b r o t h e r 3'^ }-ryrr a u n t , f a t h e r ' s e l d e r b r o t h e r ' s w i f e i ' 1 p l a t t e r <=^ *3~ o f > — i IT wash you ( f o r m a l , i . e . F r e n c h vous ) p r a i s e h\ lz)<j o u t s i d e g i f t s t o a b r i d e f rom b r i d e g r o o m ' s p a r e n t s —i-V^I87^ c o n g r a t u l a t i o n s ( v a t h a = t o e x t e n d , I t h i n k t o w i s h one e x -t e n s i o n s o f l i f e / f a m i l y ) - 179 -PHRASES a s a v l a i n t h e h a u s e n p u c h p a i s e a i n a p a r q u o r n c h u k e j e w a n t h e a t t a I k Cm K a r q u o l c a r d n a p i c h l e a g u l a s h e i s t a k i n g a n a c c o u n t o f ( i . e . g r o c e r i e s ) we a s k e d f o r who c a n c a r r y s u c h a w e i g h t ? o a t f l o u r G o d i s o n e T o p u l l t h e s h a w l o v e r o n e ' s h e a d ( i n o b e y i n g a v o i d a n c e r u l e s ) t h e w o r d s b e h i n d u s ( i . e . t h e i d e a s b e i n d u s ) G U I D E TO T R A N S L I T E R A T I O N ( . S h a c k l e , 1 9 7 2 ; 5 ) . : velar palatal retr.illex- .l.-Iltul lal.inl voiceless Ikl : : .'.'/ •.-}'jj>i ... stops aspirate /kh/ /ch/ •r;IW • ,'ph./ voiced 1*1 m HI / V nasals I'l /*/ 111 . /-/ M flaps and trills I'l laterals IV ( voiceless. /»/ /•I siuuanis* (voiced M fricatives m I'l aspirate M semi-vowels M - 18D -BIBLIOGRAPHY Ames, Michael M. and Joy I n g l i s 1973 - 74 C o n f l i c t and Change i n B r i t i s h Columbia Sikh Family L i f e , IN B.C. Studies, No. 20, Winter 1973-74, pp. 15-49. Bar t i e , P h i l i p 1978 Urban Migration and Rural Identity: An Ethnography of a Kwawu Community, Obo, Ghana, Unpublished PhD., The U n i v e r s i t y of Ghana, Legon, Accra. Berreman, Gerald 1962 Behind Many Masks, Society for Applied Anthropology Monograph 4. Reprinted A-393 Bobbs-Merrill. Buhler, George 1886 The Laws of Manu, IN Sacred Books of the East, Volume XXV, Max Muller ed., Clarendon Press, Oxford, 1886 Chaudhray, Roop L. 1961 Hindu Woman's Right to Property, Firma K. L. Mukhopadhyay, Calcutta, India. Frake, Charles 0. 1972 A Str u c t u r a l Description of Subanun "Religious Behavior", IN Reader i n Comparative R e l i g i o n : An Anthropological  Approach, 3d. ed., William A. Lessa and Evon Z. Vogt, eds., Harper & Row Publishers, New York, pp. 220 - 231. Geertz, C l i f f o r d 1973 Thick Description: Toward an Interpretive Theory of Culture, IN The Interpretation of Cultures, New York, Basic Books, pp. 3 - 30. Goldschmidt, Walter 1969 Kambuya's C a t t l e , U n i v e r s i t y of C a l i f o r n i a Press, Berkeley. - 181 -Jacobson, Helga 1979 Immigrant Women and the Community: A Perspective for Research, Resources for Feminist Research, Vol.VIII, No. 3, Part Two, November, 1979, pp. 17 - 21. Karve, Irawati 1968 Kinship Organization i n India, Asia Publishing House, New York. pp. 104 - 162. (1st ed., 1965) Kolenda, Pauline n.d. S i b l i n g - s e t Marriage, C o l l a t e r a l - s e t Marriage, and Deflected A l l i a n c e among Annana Jats of Jaipur D i s t r i c t , Rajasthan. Reprint sent by author shows no date. Leaf, Murray J . 1974 R i t u a l and S o c i a l Organization: Sikh Marriage R i t u a l s , IN F r o n t i e r s of Anthropology, Murray J . Leaf, ed., D. Van Nostrand Company, New York, pp. 123 - 162. Nikhilinananda, Swami (trans.) 1959 Upanishads, Vol. IV, Bonanza Books, New York, pp.299 -300. Redfield, Robert 1956 The S o c i a l Organization of T r a d i t i o n , IN Peasant Society and Culture, Phoenix Books, The U n i v e r s i t y of Chicago Press, Chicago, pp. 40 - 59. Shackle, C. 1972 Punjabi, The English U n i v e r s i t i e s Press Ltd. London. Singer, M i l t o n 1972 Search for a Great T r a d i t i o n i n C u l t u r a l Performances, IN When a Great T r a d i t i o n Modernizes, P a l l Mall Press, London, pp. 67 - 80. - 182 -Trilochan Singh, Jodh Singh, Kapur Singh, Bawa Harkishen Singh and Kushwant Singh, (Trans.)' 1973 The Sacred Writings of the Sikhs, Foreword by Arnold Toynbee, Unesco C o l l e c t i o n of Representative Works. London, 1960, 1965. Turner, V i c t o r 1967 The Forest of Symbols, Corn e l l U n i v e r s i t y Press, 1967, pp. 84 - 91 Ward, Barbara E. 1965 V a r i e t i e s of the Conscious Model, IN The Relevance of  Models for S o c i a l Anthropology, M. Banton, ed., A.S.A. Monographs (London), pp. 113 - 137. - 183 -APPENDIX I. Chronology of Events. Events Place March 29, 1981 - Wedding cakes delivered today 12 pages of double spaced notes on a va r i e t y of topics such as changes i n cooking u t e n s i l s , f a c t i o n a l disputes, changes i n foods, arranged marriages, etc. Fraser Valley Time: 1 hour t r a v e l to Fraser Valley 3 hours with my nieces and brother 1 hour t r a v e l time back to Vancouver 2. A p r i l 10, 1981 - Family returns from India with the groom-to-be A p r i l 11, 1981 - Short long-distance telephone conversation 36 pages of double spaced notes re: betrothal of one niece, meeting with groom, met a new bride from another family and saw her dowry. Variety of other topics such as foods. Social change noted. Fraser Valley Time: 1 hour t r a v e l to Fraser Valley 4 hours of participant-observation i n a large family (8 women, 3 chi l d r e n , 7 men) 3. A p r i l 13, 1981 - Random thoughts at home. Reflections on boundaries, space and time, kinship and the adjustments made by people i n the Canadian s e t t i n g . Vancouver 12 pages of double spaced notes. 4. A p r i l 14, 1981 - Telephone conversation LD to Fraser Valley 10 pages of notes, double spaced, re: wedding arrangements to be made, the groom etc. Vancouver A p r i l 15, 1981 - At UBC i n v i g i l a t i n g u n t i l 4:30, then drove to FV 2 pages of random thoughts, single spaced 21 double spaced pages of notes re: temple, weddings, food, clothing, betrothals, and SAW THE PERFORMANCE OF A SMALL RITE FOR THE BRIDE. Stayed overnight. 4 double spaced pages of random thoughts, r e f l e c t i o n s Fraser Valley A p r i l 16, 1981 - I drive the women to Vancouver to shop today 9 double spaced pages of notes on betrothals, food, clothing for the wedding, etc. (honeymoon), meeting with Dr. Ames. Drive back to FV and then back to Vancouver. Fraser Valley to Vancouver to Fraser Valley to Vancouver A p r i l 17, 1981 - Some thoughts on i n s i d e r anthropology 21 double spaced pages on the honeymoon, the groom, t h e i r future l i v i n g arrangements, wedding i n v i t a t i o n s , on my p o s i t i o n as a single woman, family c o n f l i c t , another r i t e to be performed, was discussed yesterday. Vancouver A p r i l 18, 1981 - LD phone c a l l to FV 5 double spaced pages on telephone conversation 3 double spaced pages on r e f l e c t i o n s l*i double spaced pages on problems i n fieldwork A p r i l 19, 1981 - Random thoughts on e a r l i e r immigrants and our experiences 10 double spaced pages Vancouver Vancouver 10. A p r i l 20, 1981 - Reflections on an Indian wedding I attended as a c h i l d 8 double spaced pages. Drove to FV 6 pages of notes - a complete l i s t o f a l l the groceries for the temple wedding meals and the women's dance Fraser Valley - 1 8 4 -11. A p r i l 21, 1981 - Notes on wedding i n v i t a t i o n s , on Indian medicine, V i l l a g e Punjab vs town Punjab, new s t y l e s of behavior, etc. Wrote wedding announcement for newspaper 14 double spaced pages of notes on clothing Indian vs Western, honeymoon, place of residence a f t e r wedding, etc. 12. A p r i l 22, 1981 - Up at 6 a.m. F i r s t day of cooking at Temple then go to wedding shower (western) at 7:30 p.m. 18 double spaced pages of notes on cooking foods at the temple - B a r f i , Laddu, Pakoria, etc. STARTED WITH A SMALL RITE. Recorded women's conversations, re: India, messages from India, gossip, i l l n e s s , work, etc. Leave temple at 6 p.m. drive to neighbouring town back to Darshan's hometown - to wedding shower. Return 12 p.m. stay overnight too foggy to go home. 13. A p r i l 23, 1981 - Rise at 6 a.m. Cut the seven large trays of B a r f i , Go to temple, to neighbouring town, back to Darshan's home i n time for the 1 shower'/wedding rite/women's dance with ballads and bawdy songs. I l l to emerg. at 2 a.m. 8 double spaced pages of notes. Fraser Valley Fraser Valley Fraser Valley 14. 15. 16. A p r i l 24, 1981 - Not at a l l well - Go to temple to help peel onions, potatoes, etc. Preparation of food for t h i s evenings. Women's dance at rented h a l l . 16 double spaced pages of notes A p r i l 25, 1981 - Day of wedding 26 double spaced pages of description of temple ceremony 10 double spaced pages of reception at home 2 pages of English t r a n s l a t i o n of part of the Guru Granth Sahib. A p r i l 26, 1981 - Drove the couple to V i c t o r i a l a s t night ar r i v e d 10 p.m. 10 pages doubled spaced of r e c o l l e c t i o n s about my use of Punjabi, the ease with which I can use i t : Some thoughts about Indians and how they 'receive' t r a n s l a t i o n s of western medicine. Thoughts on dangers of i n s e c t i c i d e s used by farmers, etc. Saw bride and groom only b r i e f l y today, for breakfast at the Empress and for a short walk. S t i l l unwell. Fraser Valley Fraser Valley to V i c t o r i a V i c t o r i a 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. A p r i l 27, 1981 - Honeymoon i n V i c t o r i a 3h pages of double spaced notes -L i t t l e to report. saw couple for tea i n my rooms. A p r i l 28, 1981 - Honeymoon over! 10 pages of double spaced notes on conversation with bride and groom re: education i n India, employment, SMALL RITE ON RETURN HOME. A p r i l 29, 1981 - Li s t e n to tape of temple ceremony and women's songs A p r i l 30, 1981 - Read bulk of notes May 1, 1981 17 double spaced pages of notes (Misc., r e c o l l e c t i o n s of how the temple r u l e s have changed over the year) 5 double spaced pages of Random thoughts May 15, 1981 - To FV to prepare pagee to d i s t r i b u t e to kinsmen i n Fraser Valley V i c t o r i a V i c t o r i a to Fraser Valley Vancouver Vancouver Vancouver Fraser Valley Return to Vancouver - 185 APPENDIX I I - A PUNJABI WEDDING SONG (GEET) Mother: Kooethe parne paranthiea, thu marl, marl par na tho Bhagi chamber1 k i d a r i a , thu backe har pero Daughter: Sornne Mai merea, mere babul nu sumja Thea hoia l a t v a v a r i a , quise nokar the l a r d l a Mother: Some thea marea, thu ede v o l na v o l . J i t h e gujare bara vare, uthe che mehine hor (repeat once) Daughter: Bara vare mere i n j vethe, mere babul na pi a r Horn na ra sa ek cardee, mera unjal hoia thear (repeat once) Mother: Kooethe parne paranthiea, thu marl, marl par na tho - W ^ r - - ^ S r ^ r l r ^ " ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ Bhagi chamberl k i d a r i a , thu backe har pero. 

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